#i just kinda summed up the last three years of my life here

[positivelybeastly]

Would you consider beast being a closet bisexual @

"I'm an open heterosexual, thank you very much, and I would recommend that in future, you keep such speculation to yourself."

"Ehehehey, well, wow, that's quite the question, not often I get accused of being a closet anything, but, ah, pretty firmly straight over here, friend."

"Despite what you may have heard from the press or a certain ex-girlfriend of mine, I am quite firmly in the heterosexual camp."

"I think someone needs to have gone on a date sometime in the last year to be qualified to be anything sexual, no?"

"Asexual aromantic. And if you ask again, I shall be displeased."

"Do you have a pulse? Are you happy with scalpels in the bedroom? Actually, your answer to that second question doesn't particularly matter, we'll get you warmed up in no time at all."

All right, so this is one of those moments where I have to pull back the curtain a little bit and talk about how I play a character who is canonically heterosexual, but whom I read to be bisexual because it's truer to the character as I find them.

Now, you know, I actually misremembered how this conversation went? I remembered Emma saying that Hank had never had so much as a gay thought, but that's not what she says here. She say that Hank has never had any kind of physical relationship with another man, and . . . you know what, I kind of believe that to be true.

Because as much as I fucking love THIS moment, it's not a relationship.

We can all agree that a kiss is not a relationship.

However.

. . . Guys, Hank is, like . . . really queer.

This post sums it up nicely, but yeah, Hank acts in a very over the top, dandified manner, over speaking and over-exaggerating everything about himself so that you won't pay attention to the blatantly obvious. He performs masculinity in a way that reads as overcompensating because he feels like he's been othered by his mutation.

There's also panels like this.

"Flirt with everything this side of Boy George."

Boy George being the androgynous gay icon of the 1980s, yes?

And this is coming from Hank's girlfriend, who he has admitted in dialogue to only really being with because she feels stable and safe and familiar, a tether to his old life in a time when he feels without a direction in life?

Like, this isn't me putting words into Hank's mouth, this is HIS dialogue during a time when he was arguably his most heterosexual! Yeah, you could just read it as him having a wandering eye, because he's a very flirtatious fellow, but that really isn't how it reads, is it? It reads as, I need reassurance I'm doing adult, normal things while my life goes weird, abnormal places.

It reads as, I think I'm kinda fucking queer but I'm too afraid to admit it.

Because lemme be real with you, this is Hank at his most heterosexual, but there's. Some. Stuff. Going on here.

"I was GOING to go out on a date with you, really pretty girlfriend, but then my MALE friend turned up and I just got so excited that I went out with my MALE friend and am basically hanging on his every word and eager to impress him, while the straight people at the table (Isaac and Dolly) are on an actual date, and Overmind sounded concerned about three wheeling a date when they asked to come with?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a gay man, and I have never been in just a towel around my best friend while he scrubbed another man's back, because that's just a little gay.

Hey, did you know Bobby's gay?

I don't bring that up for any real reason, just, you know.

And then there's Simon.

Oh boy is there Simon.

From Earth-763, but.

Like.

Come on, man.

When Logan and Hercules did this shit, people were celebrating in the streets because it confirmed bisexual Wolverine, but when Hank and Simon do it, no-one gives a fuck.

But that's an alternate universe. All they've done in 616 is kiss (GAY), so maybe it's just, you know, horsing around.

Right?

Hank, you don't look happy to be put down.

Hank never smiles like this on the X-Men. I'm not exaggerating. I've read X-Men comics for nearly 20 years, and Hank does not smile around other people like he does around Simon Williams. He looks fulfilled. He looks free. He looks delighted, constantly.

Are you two gonna fucking hold hands, like, WHAT?

And you know what, let's talk about the X-Men.

Scott, for someone who said very firmly that Hank wasn't gay before, you don't even throw that in there first?

Is it because of what comes next?

I'm - sorry? What in the FUCK are you trying to say to me?

And let's, for a moment, turn to Dark Beast. Because he has some words on the matter.

You know what, yeah, Dark Beast does seem like the idea to suck, fuck, thrust and kill his way through a Tuesday night, honestly.

And look, I know that alternate universes are shaky ground to be drawing conclusions from, but, like . . . this is. Getting to be rather a lot of very suggestive dialogue.

Look, I get that there's not quite the same amount of outright coding that Bobby had before he was forced out of the closet (Cloud, Emma Frost's prodding at his mind, all the stuff stacking up across Lobdell and Austen and Liu), but it's still . . . questionable. Isn't it? Like, at this point, I have to question why we think Hank has to be straight. Which is why I don't think he is.

So, now we get to the point of the evening where I pull at the curtain, because how Hank talks about himself in my threads works according to a certain kind of logic - canonically, as of right now, 21st of January 2024, he's officially straight, so any references to canon events will be as if he's 'straight' but actually just closeted bisexual. Because I care about continuity and keeping my facts straight and drawing as closely from the comics as possible - within reason - but my interpretation still takes precedence.

And my interpretation is that Hank, at any point in his life, is a bisexual man who feels afraid to admit it. But here's the question you're going to ask - WHY is he afraid to admit it?

You could go with an answer that draws on canon, and point out that when he tested the waters with coming out as gay, Scott and Emma both basically verbally smacked him and said he wasn't.

But that's not my style. I don't personally read it that way.

In my mind, Hank considers coming out to be That One Last Step Past Normal that goes too far. Like, it's one thing if he's a blue furred, canonically kinky, canonically weird, basically canonically bipolar, canonically psychologically damaged beast, but if he's a blue furred kinky weird bipolar psychologically damaged bisexual beast, that's the point where people will turn on him and be disgusted.

I could see him drawing that invisible line and deciding, I have to keep this one aspect of me to myself because I can't trust people to accept that from me. I think Hank has conditioned himself to believe that being accepted is something he has to earn over and over again, in part because of how Xavier schooled the X-Men's train of thought on that, but also because, unlike Nightcrawler, he knows what it's like to go from passing to not passing, and experiencing that scarred him in a way?

Like, one of the last bits of good Hank content we got before Krakoa was that Christmas special where he's back at his parents' for the holiday, and he can hear them talking from downstairs, and they're their usual lovely sweet selves, but they mention wanting grandkids, and . . . for someone whose bedrock, whose psychological wellbeing, is so incredibly dependent on other people, especially his parents and friends, I could see him being terrified of threatening that, even if it means he has to hide a part of who he is (perhaps unnecessarily).

There may be a degree of that where I'm projecting, because I had to deal with my dad being very heteronormative for a while after I realised I was gay, and even though I was certain he wouldn't reject me because of it, it felt easier to just not challenge that and let it slide because What If, you know?

But I feel like it makes sense for how Hank is, with his very tenuous relationship with feeling accepted, and I feel like this also accounts for why Emma 'saw' that he was straight in New X-Men, because he's wound himself into a psychological knot to the point where he reads as straight telepathically, even though he doesn't act like it and isn't.

If there weren't hints, I'd be inclined to be like, okay, maybe I'm just reading it this way because I see myself in Hank and him being a bit more like me makes me happy, but then there are GENUINE hints. The Exiles relationship, the fact that everyone basically treats Hank as Simon's emotional support, EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND, and then the DeMatteis comment from Vera about how he flirts with everything this side of Boy George.

This isn't looking at pre-Krakoa Logan and Scott and thinking, yeah, they have tension, they want to fuck, this is looking at this guy who is extremely sex positive, flirtatious, open minded, and hearing from his girlfriend that he doesn't confine himself just to the purely feminine.

And it's also, like . . . like, I've talked about this with my boyfriend, and people love to throw out the YOU'LL JUST SHIP ANYTHING accusation, and maybe that's kinda true for some people, but I find I don't do that. Like, there are people out there who ship Hank with Cyclops, and I'm like . . . sure, fine. I don't personally see it, but you go for it, my dude.

If I genuinely did just want Hank to be an action figure that I smash with other action figures in a gay way, I feel like I'd have a stronger reaction, but instead, I look at the way he is with Bobby, and with Simon, and even, to a degree, with Logan (pre Krakoa, obvs), and I'm like . . . this is not the way a straight man acts. This reads as a bisexual man who doesn't feel like he can be 100% himself because he feels as though he's already asking a lot of people to accept him as he presents himself to be.

Hank's entire character from, like, moment one makes so much sense when you understand that he's basically always playing someone else. Sometimes it's who he wants to be, sometimes it's who he thinks other people need him to be, a lot of the time it's who people want him to be - like, I was reading the 2004 Nightcrawler solo the other day, and Kurt is internally narrating about how everyone on the X-Men is just an emotional basket case EXCEPT Hank, and I'm like . . . THIS.

THIS RIGHT HERE, is what the problem is! No-one on the X-Men is capable of seeing that Hank is constantly performing, and just how exhausting it is. That's why Simon is such a breath of fresh air, because Simon doesn't need him to perform, he just needs Hank to be . . . fuck, man, he just needs Hank to be happy, because that makes him happy, and the sheer lack of self-interest inherent in that dynamic is such a GIANT part of why I think Hank finds Simon so attractive. Like, imo, Scott's so insistent that Hank isn't gay during the New X-Men arc because of all of this, because he fell for the act, because he thinks this is just another joke that Hank is gonna duck behind.

Scott is SO INSISTENT that Hank isn't gay, and it's like, bro . . . Scoot . . . how do you know? You barely know what you want on a good day, and you think that just 'cause you and Hank hung around in the OG X-Men locker rooms for three years that you know him better than anyone else? He was on the Avengers and the Defenders and he has so many friends that you just DON'T KNOW ABOUT. How. Do. U. Kno. Scoot. Like, in universe, if Hank was working his way up to maybe coming out, and using the excuse of a joke to do it, THAT kind of reaction, and Emma TELLING him that he isn't gay, would push me RIGHT back in the closet.

If there wasn't coding, if there wasn't a genuine basis to this, it wouldn't have come up in Exiles, honestly. Like . . . okay, so multiversal stories are an excuse to do off the wall shit, right, and especially make characters gay just to push and prod and see what actually changes, right, like Governor Logan and Hercules, but they can also reveal a good amount of truth about a character out of what DOESN'T change.

And on a meta level, like, SOMETHING made Jeff Parker think Hank and Simon worked. He didn't pick Hank and Bobby, he didn't pick Hank and Hercules, he didn't pick Hank and Warren - Hank has NO shortage of male friendships you could pick from, but he picked Simon, and it's because there's enough there that even if you don't buy it for 616, it makes sense for a multiversal thing. Which means there's SOMETHING THERE.

And Ben Percy, cursed be his name, only added to that with X-Force. The idea that Simon is somehow going to be the catalyst for whatever awakening of classic, GOOD Hank is going to happen is just so . . . like, he still clearly cares for Abigail? They were on panel doing the eye socket thing? But, and this is partly because of who Abigail is, the narrative did not change because of her presence. But it does when Simon's around.

Yeah, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes a cigar is something to unpack. Like, I really Do Not Know how Hank became 'the straightest X-Man,' because A) have you fucking read Avengers and Defenders, and B) even discounting ALL of that . . . do you not find Hank's way of acting to be a little . . . you know . . . effete? Like, yeah, it's an act, he's playing the dandy, he's offsetting his appearance, but there are other things you can do to offset the Beast.

So why does he always go back to the brightly coloured suits, the loud fashion, the high energy, the camp, the billion dollar words - to put it bluntly, why does he always seem to act just a lil' fruity?

So, yes, in my mind, he's a closeted bisexual man, and that's how I play him. Thank you for coming to my lecture.

[voidstilesplease]

for @steodiscord's Steospooktober Vol. 4 prompt: vampires

bedazzled

word count: 6k | rating: e | tags: alternate universe - vampire, bite kink, prostitution, light angst with a happy ending, blood and gore, porn with feelings

summary: “When I was watching you feed earlier, I was… fascinated.”

“'Fascinated’,” Theo echoed in loathing.

“Yes,” Stiles insisted, licking his lips. “I wanted to know how it felt.”

“To be sucked dry?” Theo snarled.

But Stiles was persistent, “To be bitten.” To be your source of strength. To give you my share of life.

Lightning quick, Theo grabbed the back of Stiles’ head with his bloody hands and pressed their foreheads together – vehemence gushing through his still starving bloodstream. With their lips merely a hairsbreadth apart, Theo whispered viciously. “You – are fucked in this lovely head of yours.”

“Yes,” Stiles whispered back, nodding eagerly. “I am.”

sequel to enthralled (@msmischief101 & @amatchinwater, I just saw that you left your thoughts on the fic a year ago saying that theo needs to get stiles back - so here it is! I wrote a part 2 that's kinda like that)

Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine;

Or leave a kiss but in the cup, And I’ll not look for wine.

The thirst that from the soul doth rise Doth ask a drink divine;

But might I of Jove’s nectar sup, I would not change for thine.

***

The tale of how Theo left didn’t start the last night they spent together – with that last bite to the neck, that farewell fuck, that confession that ended with Theo using his thrall to send Stiles away.

It started long before the first bite to his neck, before the first feed, the confrontation that catapulted their arrangement into more than just between a wealthy bachelor and his kept whore.

It started when his secret was exposed, and Stiles didn’t go running in the opposite direction. But it wasn’t Stiles that set the time bomb – no. Theo started plotting his exit the moment his secret tore open a portal to hell – and Stiles offered his hand to walk into it hand in hand with Theo.

***

Stiles was surprised he was allowed into the building at all. After what happened three nights before, he was sure Theo would never want to see his face again. He waited two nights for Theo’s men to come to him and slit his throat in his sleep. But no one came to seek him out and threaten him for his silence. Instead, the closest encounter he’d had with Theo since, was the transfer of a huge sum into Stiles’ bank account. Of course. It was evident he didn’t think it was worth the time or effort to harass Stiles into shutting up or killing him when he could pay him. It was what he did best, after all. He spoke to Stiles in the language they knew most – money.

But unlike Theo, who deemed words unnecessary, Stiles thought words would be helpful, actually. Like, how are fucking vampires real ? How many are they? If vampires are real, what other creatures are real and hiding in plain sight?

Why did Theo defend him from another vampire’s attack when it was easier to let it happen and find a new oblivious fuck toy than upsetting his own kind and dealing with a stubborn whore like Stiles, who would sure ask him all these questions?

Does he have a secret coffin lair somewhere in the building?

The elevator pinged, and Stiles nervously rubbed the bruises around his wrists from the attack three nights before. He exhaled a shallow breath, becoming all too aware of quite a few things at the same time. He hadn’t fully realized before that he’d requested a private audience with Theo – another vampire that could easily put more bruises on his body. None of the likes he usually indulged with Theo in bed.

When the elevator opened, Theo was already waiting for him, swirling a glass of wine in one hand and wearing nothing but his black pants.

Stiles’ first thought upon laying eyes on Theo wasn’t ‘monster’ like one would expect – no, far from it. His first thought, even after what he’d witnessed three nights ago, was ‘gorgeous’.

Theo was gorgeous, even as he pinned Stiles with a gaze that was one second away from lethal. He looked like an angel of death coming to collect Stiles. He swallowed around the lump in his throat as he stepped into the threshold.

He was not further than two steps in when Theo’s voice reverberated around the relatively quiet space.

“Garlic doesn’t hurt me,” Theo started, taking idle steps forward as he spoke. “Crosses? I’ve none to bear at this point of my existence. They don’t do anything but annoy me, and that was even before I turned into the creature of hell I am now. And holy water? That may irritate me, true, but it would cause more harm to you than me. You see, I have snapped someone’s neck for less.”

Stiles was rooted to the ground by sudden fear. He knew there was something about Theo that wasn’t quite human – but he never imagined being correct about it in the most literal sense. Stiles had always thought his eyes were too unnatural. But now, Theo was showing him exactly how haunting they were. Stiles only stood there helplessly as Theo neared and neared, walking barefoot to his victim as he casually sipped wine.

“If you want to do real damage,” Theo said, inflicting a conspiratorial tone. “A stake through my undead heart won’t cut it. Or exposure to the sun, as you already know. Hiding in plain sight made it more a child’s play to us when we developed tolerance against the unforgiving heat of the sunlight.” He chuckled, a predator taunting his prey. “No. If you want to kill me, you would have to sever my head from my body, chop me limb from limb, then burn all of me to ashes.”

When Theo was in front of Stiles, he grinned through protruded fangs and reveled in the sharp hitch of Stiles’ breath. “Then again, that’s only if you could outrun me.”

Despite the threat of his knees buckling and folding, Stiles exhaled a shaky breath, “Who said anything about running?”

It was evident that Theo wasn’t expecting any rebuttal. His grin slowly receded, and Stiles took that as an opportunity to barge on.

“If anyone’s running, it’s you,” Stiles struggled against all instincts to keep quiet. Because he couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t let Theo decide that it was through between them without putting up a fight. “We agreed to pay me for companionship, for sex, right? So what was that payment you made?”

Theo’s smile was gone now, replaced by a sneer. “I thought that was obvious.”

Stiles shook his head, “You really think I’d go around telling people that you’re a vampire and expect anyone to believe me?” he pointed out. “So you’re a vampire. You could still fuck me, then pay me, can’t you? It’s not like I wasn’t scared before. At least, now it makes sense.”

“You think this changes nothing, do you?” Theo’s voice rasped against his throat – a telltale sign that his anger was brewing inside.

“Because nothing has to,”

All in one second, Theo’s eyes blazed, and Stiles gasped in shock as Theo’s free hand suddenly wrapped its way around his thin, breakable neck, closing against his airway. “Do you think this is a game?” Theo snarled. “Do you find it pleasing to be at the mercy of a killer?”

Stiles was gripped by fear for his life and sick excitement, too. He held onto the strong arm lifting his feet from the ground, feeling how powerful it was under his hand. Wheezing, he managed to open his mouth to say, “Exhilarating… actually,” Theo’s grasp tightened, digging his fingers into fragile skin, but Stiles blundered on. “I’ve been at the mercy of a killer all this time, and yet –“ Stiles choked in a breath. “And yet, I’ve never been more alive… than when you bend me over and own me.”

Stiles’ words had the desired effect because Theo’s grip loosened instantaneously until he eventually tossed Stiles to the floor, turning his back with a snarl. Theo paced and smashed his empty glass to the floor as Stiles coughed and wheezed, rubbing at his neck where he was sure Theo’s handprint was forming.

He’d always been too easy to bruise. It was part of his charm, according to Theo.

Theo spun around a moment later, glaring down at Stiles’ sprawled form on his plush white carpet.

He pointed an accusing finger at him, “You – are mad. A deviant. You doomed yourself – and me.”

“And you want to fuck me,” Stiles gritted out. “So, do it. You were a vampire before I knew you were. What difference does it make now?”

In a blink, Stiles found himself pinned to the floor by the weight of a furious Theo, stealing his breath again but for an entirely different reason. His heart was a thundering mess, pressed against Theo’s cold, bare skin. And Theo’s fangs were right there – right above Stiles’ skin. He could draw blood anytime.

“The difference,” Theo grumbled from deep in his throat, “is that now that you know a monster is in bed with you, nothing is stopping that monster from showing who’s really fucking you.”

One day, Stiles thought. You would be the death of me.

“Show me.”

I'll not have it any other way.

***

Theo was cruel. Not in the way that a monster was cruel. He was cruel in the way a human was cruel.

Humans became cruel as a response to fear. But what did Theo fear when he was the killer in their pair? Nonetheless, he had fears, though unspoken. And because of those fears, he reeled Stiles in – keep your friends close, your enemies closer – because the higher he raised Stiles, the more fatal it would be when he dropped him.

***

As much as Stiles insisted that nothing changed, it would soon be apparent that he was wrong. For a while, they blissfully existed in make-believe before the inevitable next crack in the glass. To Stiles, it didn’t seem like another nail to their coffin. But to Theo, it was another signal for him to escape.

It happened after Theo came home from a business trip – only it wasn’t the usual trips where he secured million-dollar accounts and came home richer than he was when he left.

Stiles was asleep when his phone rang. He kept it on all the time in case Theo contacted him – which he rarely ever did. If Theo wanted him, he would ask Josh to send Stiles a message. He only ever sent Stiles one direct message: You could have spared us the agony and run. He sent it after the first night they fucked as the vampire and his whore. Stiles had replied: Against my better judgment, I couldn’t. There was no more since.

But his decision to keep the notifications on had proven wise, tonight of all nights, because when he opened the message, it was, indeed, from Theo. The second direct message he ever sent Stiles. He shot up quickly from his bed and hastened to read.

It said: I need you.

He never needed Stiles before – he ‘wanted’ him. Josh’s texts would read: Mr. Raeken wants you to come over, Mr. Raeken wants me to collect you in an hour, Mr. Raeken wants you to wear the blue cardigan he bought you last week, Mr. Raeken wants to know if you’re allergic to any shellfish... Want, want, want. Because he was a paid bed-warmer. Need was… intimate. It was something more. But straight from Theo, he needed him.

So Stiles scrambled to put on clothes, pressing number 7 on his speed dial: Josh, Theo’s valet. It barely rang before the call connected.

“What happened?” Stiles asked in a rush, grabbing his jacket and keys and sprinting out of his apartment.

“We’ll be there in five minutes,” was Josh’s terse reply before disconnecting.

Exactly five minutes later, Theo’s Chevrolet Suburban pulled up in the parking lot of Stiles’ building. He wasn’t used to seeing that car since Theo rarely used it to pick up Stiles. He didn’t recognize it at first, so he palmed the Swiss knife that Theo gave him and made him keep it in his pocket at all times for self-defense. But it was Corey in the driver’s seat – Theo’s driver. Josh opened the door and ushered Stiles in, looking bedraggled. No sooner than Stiles could sit down, the car speeded into the night back to the penthouse.

“What happened?” Stiles addressed the question to both Josh and Corey, as soon as he could get a breath out.

Josh opened his mouth, but Stiles’ phone started ringing before he could say anything. He looked down, widening his eyes when he saw that it was Theo. Theo never rang. He immediately picked it up and answered, “Theo? Are you all right?”

There was a few seconds of inarticulate heavy breathing from Theo’s end which only spiked Stiles’ worry, before he rasped out with clear difficulty, “Are you with –” a groan falling from his mouth interrupted his question. Jesus, what was going on? “Are you in the car now?”

Stiles hurried to assure him, “Yes, yes, I’m with Josh and Corey. What’s happening?”

“Donovan is behind you –” Theo coughed, cutting off his statement again. Stiles’ fingers nervously combed through his hair. Theo never got sick – one of the perks of being a bloodsucking immortal. Something was seriously wrong. After his coughing fit, he managed to finish with a strain, “– should you require him.”

Stiles glanced behind him, and sure enough, Theo’s white Cadillac – the usual one he rode and drove around – was tailing them closely. Donovan was Theo’s chief security – a vampire like himself.

“Are you in danger?” Stiles tried again, feeling his panic rise evermore.

“No,” Theo answered promptly. “But I need you.”

He couldn’t understand why his eyes started stinging from hearing it straight from Theo’s mouth. Probably from all the mixed emotions he was feeling: fear, confusion, the mother of all worries… he just wanted to get to Theo as soon as possible.

“I’m coming.” He promised.

He wiped the side of his eyes when the call ended. When he looked up, Josh was looking at him calculatingly.

Sniffing, Stiles pleaded. “Tell me he’s all right.”

Josh visibly considered lying, but he eventually confessed, “He’s in a bad shape,”

Stiles exhaled the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“I had to pay a ridiculous amount to the blood bank to give me all the fresh supply of blood they had,” Josh informed him. “He’s been starved.”

Stiles’ head snapped up in shock. “He was gone for two weeks,” he couldn’t believe his ears. “Who would do this to him?”

“One guess who,”

“Josh,” Corey spoke from the driver’s seat, warning in his tone. “Don’t.”

Josh scoffed, “He ought to know. He’s the reason.”

Corey shook his head in disapproval but otherwise didn’t say anything further. He looked away when his eyes met Stiles in the rearview.

“I’m the reason for what?” Stiles prompted impatiently.

Josh looked at him, resentment palpable in his eyes. “He made an impressive number of enemies when he attacked his own to save you – his human whore.”

His breath caught in his throat. Stiles couldn’t even find it in himself to be furious by the insult. All his mind could think about was how he knew that vampire was going to come back to bite their asses.

I need you.

He needed to get to Theo as soon as possible. Stiles needed him too.

His heart leapt to his throat, ready to burst by the time the elevator to the penthouse opened. The sight immediately horrified Stiles – it was like a scene straight from a nightmare. His stomach churned at the stench, and bile threatened to rise out of his mouth.

Stepping inside, he followed the trail of thick blood on the ruined carpet leading up to the corpses of about a dozen rats scattered in different places as if mindlessly thrown. Not farther away, he spotted Theo leaning against his discolored leather tufted sofa. His mouth and face were smeared with blood; his shirt and pants thrown to the devil knows where, and his head hanging forward while his eyes fought to keep open. His skin was deathly pale – paler than Stiles ever saw it.

He crossed the room in under five seconds, kneeling in front of Theo and taking his face delicately in one hand, unmindful of the dead rats in their midst. He reached inside the backpack full of blood bags that Josh tossed to him as soon as they parked. He wasn’t allowed into the penthouse, and none of them were – not unless Theo specifically instructed them to come. So it was up to Stiles to deliver the blood to Theo.

He guided the first bag to Theo’s mouth, who immediately sniffed and grabbed it from Stiles’ hand. For the first time, Stiles saw him feed – saw how those fangs pierced through plastic and how Theo’s lips sucked all of the blood’s content in no time. Stiles raptly watched how Theo’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and how his eyes closed in ecstasy. When he was done, he crumpled the plastic, threw it aside, and seized another bag of blood to do the hypnotic cycle all over again.

When he was through the second bag, he breathed in deeply and finally opened his eyes.

God was Theo messy; everything was messy. But Stiles had never seen Theo as beautiful as he did now – in his rawest form.

His hand dropped the empty plastic bag, slumping back against the sofa. “Sorry you had to see that,” Theo’s coarse voice said.

Stiles shook his head, sagging forward with a loud exhale as his adrenaline started melting away. Suddenly, the stinging in his eyes was back. “Theo…”

“Don’t say it,” Theo asserted. Stiles raised his head, looking at him through misty eyes. Through a bloody mouth, Theo swore. “There was no way I was going to let him hurt you. I knew this was going to happen eventually.”

Stiles sniffed, “And if it happened again?”

“It won’t,” Theo assured him. Groaning, he leaned forward towards Stiles to meet him eye to eye, taking his chin in his blood-stained hand. “Viggo’s family should be opening the gift I sent to them now,” one corner of his mouth pulled up in a malicious smile. “His head sprinkled with his body’s ashes inside a velvet black box wrapped in velvet red ribbon.”

Stiles gasped in horror, backing away, “You killed him?”

“I sent a statement,” Theo corrected. “Not to challenge me again. Or touch what was mine.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing – didn’t Theo make it worse? And for what? Stiles was not even his lover – he was his whore. Josh was right to be livid at him.

Stiles was silent for a while, lost in the sea of so many thoughts. He snapped back to the present when he felt Theo’s hand reaching for the backpack again. Stiles hurried to help him. “Are you still hungry?”

Theo grimaced as he looked at the mess he made, especially when his sight landed on the rats. “I had to make do – after all, blood was blood. It soothed the pain no matter where it came from. Luckily, I was too out of it to remember how ghastly the experience was.” He licked his lips, shuddering. “I haven’t had rats since the early days after my turn.”

Stiles avoided looking at the drained rat corpses to control the bile still threatening to rise from his stomach. “Do you think you have enough to get you back in shape?”

Theo scanned the inside of the backpack, making a noise of approval, “Josh did an excellent job – all of these are fresh bags. That would help. The fresher it is, the quicker it gets me there.”

A horrible idea formed in Stiles’ head at the statement. A horrible idea because no one would agree with him – not even Theo. But his mind was dead set – he was going to try everything to achieve it. He touched Theo’s hand and forced him to look at him. When he had Theo’s attention, he said, “So why don’t you feed from a human – directly?”

Theo leaned back in surprise, his voice gaining a hard edge when he asked, “What did you say?”

“Feed from a human,” he repeated, earning a growl from Theo. “Why settle with blood bags when you could drink straight from someone’s veins? You said you used to feed from your sister when she was alive, and she was all right the entire time, wasn’t she?”

Theo was angry now. He likely knew where this conversation was going. “I shouldn’t have told you that,” his teeth gnashed. “Besides, she was my sister. She wanted to help me adjust to the life I was thrust into against my will. Who do you think would be sane enough to consent to become a vampire’s personal blood tap and chew toy?”

“I would,” Stiles replied without hesitation.

Theo’s growl deepened, his chest vibrating with the sound. “That is because you are not sane. If you were, you would have been long gone.”

“No, listen,” Stiles moved to straddle Theo’s hips when he attempted to leave. Theo hissed and bared his fangs but otherwise stayed on the bloody floor, flashing his eyes in warning not to say anything stupid further. But Stiles was not to be deterred. “I would do it – for a price,” he added the last thought hastily.

It didn’t calm Theo. “If you wanted a raise, you could have just said.”

“No,” he released a frustrated sigh. “When I was watching you feed earlier, I was… fascinated.”

“'Fascinated’,” Theo echoed in loathing.

“Yes,” Stiles insisted, licking his lips. “I wanted to know how it felt.”

“To be sucked dry?” Theo snarled.

But Stiles was persistent, “To be bitten.” To be your source of strength. To give you my share of life.

Lightning quick, Theo grabbed the back of Stiles’ head with his bloody hands and pressed their foreheads together – vehemence gushing through his still starving bloodstreams. With their lips merely a hairsbreadth apart, Theo whispered viciously. “You – are fucked in this lovely head of yours.”

“Yes,” Stiles whispered back, nodding eagerly. “I am.” Then he grabbed Theo’s face with both hands and crushed their lips in a searing kiss.

It should be revolting, the way he could taste the rust from Theo’s lips on his own tongue. It should be repulsing, the way Theo stood and carried him like he weighed nothing to press him onto the stained couch, the dead rats littering the floor around them. It should be sickening how the stench of death perfumed their writhing bodies, seeking a desire that walked hand in hand with their doom.

Stiles opened his legs when Theo nudged them apart, bared his neck for Theo’s kisses, and offered his wrist when Theo licked against the skin.

Theo looked at him again, his blue eyes lust-blown and hungry, and Stiles nodded. Enthusiastically. Desperately. He carded the fingers of his free hand through Theo’s matted hair and pulled Theo’s head down. Kissing the shell of Theo’s ear, he whispered, “Please, Theo.”

And as Theo’s fangs penetrated the skin of his wrist, he ground his hips forward, too. Stiles threw his head back with a moan, closing his eyes to the pain and pleasure. As he felt his blood rushing to give Theo what he needed, he thought, now you’re mine as I am yours.

***

It quickly became the new arrangement: Stiles let Theo sink his teeth into his skin and fuck the senses out of him, and Theo paid him a much bigger sum than the last. It was only a matter of time before his friends found out. It didn’t go well – predictably.

Lydia was the first to notice – as she was wont to do. She cornered him and demanded answers to all of the right questions. She’d clearly done a thorough research, which didn’t surprise Stiles the least. If anything, it astonished Stiles that it took her nine whole months to get suspicious.

“I was suspicious seven months ago Stiles,” Lydia spat furiously. “What I am today, is appalled.” She paced, holding her head with both her hands. “Consorting with the likes of that guy – he’s not even human, for Christ’s sake. Why couldn’t you just go with a mafia guy?” She paused in her pacing and marched to him, grabbing his arm and shaking her head in repugnance at the telltale puncture wounds. Her eyes flashed, “And what if he goes too far?”

“He won’t,” Stiles assured her.

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t,” Stiles agreed, pulling his arm back and covering it with the sleeve of his hoodie. He sighed. “But I trust him.”

Lydia scoffed, shaking her head at Stiles. Her eyes had a knowing glint when she asked, “How long ago since you sold your body and not your heart?”

Stiles was taken aback for a moment. He'd never thought about it. But instead of denying it, he replied, “Fuck knows."

It was the most honest reply he could make.

***

After Lydia found out, the entire gang followed. Needless to say, it was a madhouse.

“Why couldn’t you just ask for help, Stiles?” Scott shook his head, upset. People were shaking their heads at Stiles a lot these days. “If you needed money, we would have helped you.”

“I didn’t want to burden you. We all have our own situations,” Stiles tried to explain. “I wanted to earn the money by myself.”

“By becoming a prostitute?” Jackson jeered. “How fucking noble, Stilinski.”

Stiles fisted his hands, “How I earn my money is none of your business. If you think I’m so dirty now to be your friend, then fuck right off.”

Jackson went straight for the door, “As you wish.” Scott followed seconds later.

Scott and Jackson didn’t talk to him for days. Scott eventually caved first but he spent the next few days begging Stiles to leave Theo – leave the country if need be. Allison – whose family moved around the supernatural circle, Stiles soon discovered – offered to help ‘eliminate’ Theo.

“It would be difficult,” Allison said determinedly, holding Stiles’ shoulder with a gloved hand. “Our family hasn’t encountered vampires in decades when I searched the archive. But it’s definitely doable.”

Stiles smiled timidly and took Allison’s hand into his. He met her eyes and said sincerely, “I appreciate it, Allison, offering me help and telling me about your secret. But…” Stiles bit his lip, squeezing Allison’s gloved hand. “I’d sooner cut my own wrist before I let anything happen to him.”

Allison’s brows furrowed in surprise. It wasn’t the response she expected to hear. “If it’s about the money, Stiles, I’m sure there are other ways to earn it,” she insisted. “I’m not sure you understand that it’s quite literally your neck in the line every time you come near this monster.”

“Theo's not a monster,”

“He’s got fangs that he uses to drink blood from you, take advantage of your weakness. What’s not monstrous about him?”

“You’ve got weapons and an archive that details how to ‘eliminate’ a vampire who was turned without a choice – who has tried and succeeded to live normally for the past fifty years without hurting anyone,” Stiles retaliated. “What’s not monstrous about you?”

Allison dropped Stiles’ hand, clenching her jaw. “If he drains your blood, don’t tell us we didn’t warn you.”

Stiles nodded, “If he drains my blood, it’ll be because I asked him.”

Allison left in frustration while Lydia blamed the vampire thrall.

“It’s his eyes,” Lydia said as soon as Stiles opened the door to his apartment, a couple of days after the Allison encounter. “He’s controlling you with his eyes.” She invited herself in and looked around. Her eyes narrowed, pointing at the coffee table, “Is that a Mies van der Rohe?”

Stiles shrugged and looked at her blankly. He had no idea what she just said. Theo bought him the coffee table.

Crossing her arms, she clicked her tongue. “Vampires' eyes have powers – it’s called thrall. He’s using them to keep you coming back.”

“I don’t know,” Stiles said, leaning against the archway. “I close my eyes when he fucks me, and there’s no broken spell, is there?”

Lydia's mouth thinned to a line.

“I’m not looking at his eyes now,” Stiles added. “But I still terribly miss him, don’t I?”

She rolled her eyes, “That’s not how it works. You don’t just close your eyes during sex or not see him for two days for the control to slip up. You have to stay away – for real.”

Stiles smiled at her regretfully, “I guess if I were really in thrall, I’m too weak to resist it. I don’t know the first thing about staying away from him.”

Only Kira didn’t blame Theo or the money he gave Stiles. Stiles was not sure if it was better.

“You’re not in danger, I don’t think,” Kira said, stroking his hair as they lay on Stiles’ couch. Stiles had just told her about Allison and Lydia’s visits. “You’re the danger.”

“What do you mean?”

Kira placed her free hand over Stiles’ chest. “Your heart – it’s an unbelievable thing. Any weaker heart would go running in the opposite direction as soon as it discovered what you discovered. Predators drive their prey away half-scared to death – that’s how nature works.”

Stiles tilted his head to look at Kira. Playfully, he asked, “Are you calling me prey?”

Kira smiled, “If you were the prey, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?”

Stiles’ smile retreated. Even then, he realized she was right.

***

Only a week after his conversation with Kira, Stiles put the final nail in their coffin.

Stiles tilted his head backward with an echoing moan, laying it against Theo’s shoulder to allow him more access to his neck. His arms reached out behind to encircle Theo’s head, long fingers grabbing at Theo’s wet hair as he continued charting little islands of bruises into his pale skin while his hips continued their brutally slow and hard pace.

The warm spray of water against his overheated skin and the cold touch of Theo’s hand, mouth, and naked body against naked body made Stiles delirious. He felt Theo’s blunt teeth scraping against his skin, his lips sucking hard, and then his tongue soothing the assaulted area. Theo’s hands ran all over his slick body, squeezing, massaging, and imprinting into his skin, his soul – deeper than his bare cock inside Stiles’ body. Stiles was so gone for this man.

It was too much – he was going into overdrive by all the sensations Theo was making him feel. But it all crested when Stiles felt Theo’s fangs grazing against his pulse as his cock pressed into his prostate. And instead of pulling away, Stiles pressed himself closer to Theo and urged him, “Do it,”

Theo’s hand tightened around Stiles’ waist, his other leaning against the tiled wall to anchor their dancing bodies, his chest grumbling against Stiles’ back. He swore he could feel a heartbeat where there was supposedly none.

“You naïve little human,” Theo spat against Stiles’ neck, angling his hips expertly to pull a scandalous moan from Stiles’ mouth. “You don’t understand what it is you’re permitting me to do.”

“I think I know,” Stiles whimpered when the tips of Theo’s fangs pressed dangerously close to breaking the skin. He tightened his fingers on Theo’s hair, moving his hips in rhythm to his lover. “I want you to feed where you’ve never fed before – where you’d never feed from others,” he gasped after another well-aimed thrust. “I want that to be mine.”

Theo’s hand sneaked to yank at Stiles' hair while the other grabbed his chin in a painful grip, exposing his neck more. Their movements ceased for a moment, their eyes meeting even at the awkward angle – one blazing with fury and one reckless with passion.

“Do you not fathom how foolish you are?” Theo sneered into his ear. “How horrendous your devil-may-care attitude towards this whole affair is? All of your friends have warned you.”

“And they are right,” Stiles panted. “And so are you.”

He nosed against the shell of Stiles’ ear, tightening his grip on Stiles to still him when he attempted to get their bodies moving again. Theo growled. “So – what are you still doing here?”

“Fuck knows, Theo,” Stiles answered helplessly the same way he answered Lydia before. And repeating Kira’s statement days ago, he finished with, “My heart – it’s an unbelievable thing.”

His nose flaring, Theo stared into his eyes, reading Stiles’ desperation there. Finally, he violently pushed their bodies forward, forcing Stiles to let go of Theo’s hair to place his hands against the wall for purchase. Without another word, bared his fangs and descended onto his neck – impaling them right at the spot where Stiles’ heart beat the most.

***

A month later, he used his thrall to erase himself from Stiles’ memories. The irony wasn’t lost on Stiles – Lydia always accused his thrall for keeping Stiles coming back. Now he used it to leave Stiles.

Because Theo was cruel. Not in the way that a monster was cruel. He was cruel in the way a human was cruel. There was no need to draw blood when you aim at the heart.

***

But this isn't all about the tale of how Theo left. This is also the tale of how he comes back.

***

“Quite a bedazzling outfit, you got.”

Stiles jerks in surprise as a figure slips onto the seat beside him. The man signals for the bartender with a nod before turning to him.

Stiles frowns, looking over his shoulder in search. He finds a bustling bar with tables full of people in extravagant and over-the-top costumes, but none near enough for a chat. It's a holiday and it's the first new establishment in their little town in six years or so; people are supposed to be too busy enjoying the novelty to pay lonesome strangers by the bar any attention. He turns back to his stranger – a startlingly attractive stranger with a magnetic blue stare, Stiles realizes – and points to himself.

“Are you talking to me?”

The stranger smiles and says simply, “Yes.”

Stiles blinks. “Are you making fun?”

The handsome stranger’s thick eyebrows form a slight frown, in confusion, but otherwise, keeps his pleasant smile. “Why would I make fun?”

Stiles scoffs. His brain instructs him to say ‘thanks’ and let it go like any normal person would do, but his mouth has a mind of its own. And he’s also got half of his half-pint in his system. “You do see I’m only wearing a cheap cape, right? With a Led Zeppelin shirt underneath.” The stranger merely shrugs so Stiles gestures at an item on the counter beside his half a pint of beer, “And plastic fangs. Bought from the dollar store two blocks away. I can point at least fifty other people in this bar wearing a better costume than me. So, I would hardly call it ‘bedazzling’ .” And before he can stop himself from adding, he snorts and shakes his head. “Who even says ‘bedazzling’ anymore?”

The smile on the handsome stranger’s face only widens, “I concede,” he says. “Perhaps, it was not the outfit that bedazzled me into approaching, after all. Allow me to rephrase: quite a bedazzling sight you are – cheap cape, plastic fangs, Led Zeppelin shirt, and all.”

“I –“ Stiles stammers, taken aback by how smoothly he fell for that.

The bartender wordlessly slides a cocktail glass in front of the stranger and leaves without waiting for any acknowledgment. The stranger takes the glass and lightly swirls it, all without looking away from Stiles.

Stiles clears his throat, feeling his face warm up. And certainly not from his beer. “What drink is that?” he asks, both to say anything and out of genuine curiosity. He watches as the content swirls around with the motions of the stranger’s wrist. “It’s so thickly… red,” he wrinkles his nose. “It’s like blood.”

The stranger chuckles, “Of course, it is blood, as you should know,” he replies. “What else do vampires drink?”

Stiles gazes up to the stranger’s bright blue eyes and handsome smirk and feels his entire body developing jitters; his veins pulsing and heart racing under his skin. It’s not an entirely unknown feeling, but it’s been a while since he experienced it. There’ve been plenty of opportunities, but none quite like this. Stiles has never seen a more ‘bedazzling’ smile and enthralling eyes.

Jesus. He’s never even thought of the word before, let alone use it to describe someone.

“I see,” Stiles starts, playing along, eyes scanning the man’s crisp white button-down, black dress pants, and leather shoes. “So, you’re a vampire too, I suppose? Only, too snobbish to actually wear a costume, unlike the rest of us?”

The stranger’s blue eyes sparkle in amusement, “But we must admit, capes are a little bit medieval, wouldn’t you say?” He brings the cocktail glass to his nose, sniffing it. “Vampires in the modern world dress like young billionaires rather than brooding viscounts.”

Stiles arches an eyebrow, commenting, “And they drink blood from cocktail glasses.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” the stranger remarks, meeting Stiles’ eyes through the rim of his glass. “A human neck is still the sweetest tap to feed from, but that privilege is reserved only for those with the most exquisite blood.”

Stiles holds the man’s gaze as he finally tips his cocktail glass into his lips, and empties it deliberately. The glass clinks when it’s brought down to the counter, its previous content leaving a dark red trail around its inner surface and staining the stranger’s lips. When he grins, his teeth are tainted too. It should be a disgusting sight if anything, but Stiles is too busy being mesmerized to keep that in mind.

Stiles swallows through his dried throat, “That makes a very convincing blood,” he says distractedly.

The man grins, unmindful of his stained mouth. “And I?” he leans closer. “Do I not make a convincing vampire?”

His eyes flicker helplessly down to the man’s lips. The red stain is even more captivating this close – he can’t look away. The bar is still as full and loud as when he arrived, but somehow, everything has muted down to background noise. Unconsciously, his tongue darts to wet his equally dried lips. “How does it taste?” he asks, breathless.

“Adequate,” the stranger answers promptly – like he doesn’t have to think about it. Then Stiles watches, almost in slow motion, as the man reaches out to touch him, taking his cue from the hitch in Stiles’ voice before laying his strong, expert fingers on Stiles’ skin. He uses them to lift Stiles’ chin and coax his gaze back up straight into his.

Stiles breathes through his mouth, enthralled by the invisible force of the stranger’s blue eyes. Instinctively, Stiles leans his body forward as if heeding a tug. His body seems to comprehend all the stranger’s little prompts even when Stiles doesn’t. And powerlessly, he tips his head to the side when the stranger guides it, baring his neck.

“But you,” the man speaks lowly, making his words more personal. Something in Stiles knows this isn’t any normal interaction between strangers in a bar. By the second, he realizes nothing about this is by accident. It couldn’t be. Not from the look of yearning from the stranger’s eyes and certainly not from Stiles’ surrender of power. His mind doesn’t remember this man, but his body does. The way it shivers as the man’s fingertips trace the point where his neck and shoulder meet. The way Stiles’ breath stutters when his thumb presses against that particular area on his neck where his blood pulses the most, against the scar of puncture wounds marking his pale skin. The way the stranger whispers to him, “You… are exquisite.”

It’s like Stiles could hear his own heartbeat; thumping loudly across the room. The phantom stinging on his neck that oftentimes visit him in his sleep – that one he couldn’t decide whether a dream or a nightmare.

“I couldn’t stay away,” the stranger tells him apologetically. “I spent the past year in torture. I was foolish to think there was getting rid of you.”

Without meaning to or knowing where it comes from, he breathes out the man’s name.

“Theo.”

Sharp fangs dropping, the stranger smiles.

***

Theo Raeken exists.

I love Theo Raeken.

Theo Raeken loves me.

***

I sent thee late a rosy wreath, Not so much honouring thee

As giving it a hope, that there It could not withered be.

But thou thereon didst only breathe, And sent’st it back to me;

Since when it grows, and smells, I swear, Not of itself, but thee.

- Jonson

[mayalaen]

saturday story time #3

The third and final story time to sum up the last few months!

This one isn’t so much my family as the main cause, but rather their reaction to what happened that’s made life.. interesting.

My psych doc started out as a regular doc and got into psych when she worked in a hospital with lots of behavioral health admissions (across the street from the state prison for the criminally insane).

She’s taken care of my whole family for like 15 years now. She’s got a very strong personality, and when we need something, she makes sure we get it.

She fought Phillips Respironics (the biggest manufacturer of CPAP and other respiratory therapy products in the world) bc they were going to make my mom wait for 2-3 years before replacing a CPAP machine that was leaking little pieces of rubber into the hose and going into patients’ lungs.

My pdoc got them to replace it within 3 weeks of us telling her they wanted us to wait.

And she’s done tons of stuff for us including helping to get a few of us on disability for mental issues even when none of us thought we were in need of it (haha yes we thought we were just normal enough to get by but apparently the government was like OH NO here have this disability please and don’t work for a company ever!)

She calls me a lot and we talk. She probably tells me way more than she should, but she knows I don’t spread stuff, and we kinda leaned on each other when it came to work and family and the medical system itself.

She would even talk about tough medical cases with me that they were having trouble solving and it was exciting to be involved in all that again. I helped a few people get treatment for things that I remembered from working all over the country but the docs where she worked didn’t know about. The way my brain links things and sees patterns definitely comes in handy with medical stuff.

Anyway, a few months ago she called me and was like “give me 3 weeks to get through what’s happening right now and then change your PCP to someone else.”

She didn’t explain, but I knew she was having trouble with the last few places she worked at. She made sure all our meds were refilled for three months, which was very cool of her, but it was weird to just hear nothing else from her!

Back when the pan/demic hit, she decided to stay home to work bc her mom has a bad immune system, and she’s been doing Co/vid test results and teledoc for 2 years. One year ago she started working at a Co/vid clinic.

And boy howdy were Co/vid clinics corrupt! Within weeks she was telling me so much shit it was blowing my mind.

All these places popped up at the beginning of the pan/demic and were milking the government for money while not doing 95% of the things they said they did and a lot of places were selling vac/cine cards to people who didn’t get vac/cinated.

The government wasn’t checking into it because they had enough going on, and all these corrupt business people got away with it for almost 3 years. They were taking government loans and aide too.

Until they started talking about dropping the federal emergency (it didn’t end until last month, but they were talking about it for a while).

And then the shit hit the fan.

Corrupt doctors and and business owners left in the middle of the night! Like seriously just abandoned these places over the course of about 2 weeks, taking everything of value and locking the doors.

They didn’t inform the employees, so the employees, non-corrupt docs, and nurses showed up the next morning to locked doors on these businesses with weeks of labor left unpaid.

My pdoc and a bunch of others got together, got a lawyer, who realized how big this was and got other lawyers involved, and this quickly became a country-wide case.

But then I didn’t hear from her for a few weeks.

And then came the call where she hurriedly said to change my PCP.

It’s been four months since then and none of us have been able to get a hold of her. Her website has been down ever since, her phone is being answered by someone new who has her number and doesn’t know her, and all the insurance companies say she just isn’t registered anymore.

So I don’t know if shit got really bad to the point where even the good guys went down or maybe she took a settlement and retired with the agreement that she not speak to anybody? Or maybe she actually was one of the corrupt ones? I just don’t know.

Suddenly the family was left without a doctor, but I wasn’t freaking out because I figured I’d just get me, my mom, and my dad to a new place and that’s that. A pain in the ass but doable.

That’s when the rest of my family called and was like HALP!!!

They had no idea what to do because my pdoc had taken care of everything for so long that they didn’t understand insurance and the medical system anymore, which I do.

So they all expected me to get everything of theirs changed and make them appointments and get them meds and...

I was like uhm no. You’re adults. I’m taking care of enough stuff. If you get stuck and need help I’ll answer questions, but you have to do this.

So for weeks they were running around like the sky was falling, but they got everything worked out eventually.

I’m starting to catch up on 3 years of missed doc and specialist appointments now with me and my parents, so that’s a relief.

But yeah that federal emergency thing dropping last month means a lot of those places are being investigated now, but I have no idea how many they’ll catch given the fact that everybody who saw the axe coming took off.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip but it's my Thursday

Tagged by @saltymaplesyrup tagging @mareenavee ( I know you're getting space but I said I was still tagging) @thequeenofthewinter @archangelsunited @snippetsrus @gilgamish @tallmatcha @kookaburra1701 @thana-topsy @orfeolookback @caliblorn Low effort 0 expectation, I know there's a lot of chaos running around but feel free to join in if you like. I have been procrastinating on study because I'm changing my major so I am out of steam on that. So I have um...too many wips in both the art section and the writing section. We have been doing SAD WARS and that means a lot of art and a lot of writing. Like I think I wrote 30K in a month XD ART First I have the Erra render that I've been working on. He's coming along.

Some Josh about to fuck up some Reavers. IDK I kinda just wanted to draw the Dwarven toe prosthesis which will be more visible if I ever line this lol. under the cut for the rest!

Pic of Yani too idk. Okay, Writing!

Going to post 3 snips because I've been jumping around wips. First is a section from Mortal Chill

Corprus? But…how? I stood and moved to try to pull the covers off of him, I don’t know what I was really trying to do here. I could not remove them myself. I- I guess I wanted those bandages removed so that I could see for myself. The tumours, the growths that twisted and deformed the body. The broken bones the-

Maera he was so thin, was it the wasting kind? All I could remember were stories of mad creatures that would come screaming out of the southern ash wastes at night. That they had a madness, that they ate the cursed flesh of their brethren. The Urshilaku would warn us every few years of another outbreak of blight. That it had started breaching the Ghostfence.  My tribe did not much care for such things. The lore of our ancestors meant little amongst the Erabenimsun. Our Ashkhans were absolute rulers, our focus war and glory. The news of blight usually fell on deaf ears. Our Wise Woman’s warnings would often go unheeded. It was why my father had made that attempt on old Ulath-Pal’s life after all. Some sort of pact between my kin, the Ensirhaddon who bore most of the tribe’s farseers and mages and the Urshilaku and the Ilaba'andul-Sul family, who were the ruling clan of the northern wastes. It failed, and my kin were systematically executed one by one. I had fled the night my twin sister had her throat cut in her sleep. I was fifteen and utterly alone.

I had run into someone afflicted with blight somewhere around Piran. The wasting the growths. She was practically mad as she lashed out at me. I still have no idea how I had gotten away in the end. Maybe it is because I am forgetting so many things but I know that creature haunts me, Kiang.

Is this really to be my son’s fate?

You shuddered, turning to stroke our son’s cheek. Forty-six years since he was twelve. I guess I was trying to do the sum in my head, had never been good at that, resorting to counting the individual sections of my fingers instead. Three, six, twelve-

“Fifty-eight, Yani. He turned fifty-eight yesterday-I,” you let out a breath, shuddering once again, “I tried to summon you yesterday but- I don’t know why it didn’t work or-“

I couldn’t believe it, the last time I had heard your call and walked through the flames he was still a child, barely twenty-two! You reached for me, your hands on either side of my ruined face. Torn and beaten from the rubble that had entombed me. My ear missing, torn at some point. My face ripped from the razor edge of debris that I had not seen. My throat slashed to such a point that the grizzled meat was visible. It is why I cannot speak.

I was only thirty-one when I had died, barely grown myself. Maera I’ve missed so much.

The second is from Ahzidal's Descent

“Greave,” she held out her hand again, “Teldryn I need it to keep the splint in place.”

He grumbled a little as he reached out behind him, handing her the light, chitinous plate. The surface was a marbled green and beige that dully reflected the sunlight. It had something carved into its underside. Something in what looked like Dunmeris but she honestly couldn’t tell. Sydari untangled the netch leather straps and placed the chitin on top of his shin.

“Tel, I’m going to have to lift this again,” she said as she lightly prodded his shin.

“Do I have to wear it?” He groaned, scratching the back of his head, “I’m pretty sure that’s what irritated it in the first place. Thing was fine this morning.” He shrugged.

Sydari exhaled slowly. Of course, he’d blame the only thing that was supporting his leg! It couldn’t possibly be the fact that he chose to scale this dune! She lifted his leg and started securing the chitin greave to his shin, maybe a little too roughly.

“N'chow! Now I know you did that on purpose!” Teldryn protested, he began to fiddle with the leather strap of his goggles.

“You don’t think that maybe you aggravated your leg by climbing up a cliff?” Sydari pinched the bridge of her nose, “You didn’t even bother to properly brace it!”

“It was fine this morning when I took it off,” Teldryn hunched over his left knee and exhaled sharply, “Thing interferes with my prosthesis, I told you. Plus, I really felt fine this morning, Sydari.”

“You’re not supposed to be taking it off yet Teldryn,” Sydari began to search her pack again, pulling out another small vial, this one filled with a red viscous liquid that leaned violet in the sunlight. Tinged by the minuscule edition of Sleeping Tree Sap. It would dull the pain but make his comedown from the stamina tonic a lot harsher.

“What’s that?” Teldryn asked.

Sydari shook the bottle a little, “It dulls pain.”

Teldryn tilted his head, “Didn’t I just take one of those?”

Sydari shook her head, “No, this one is a bit different, stronger,” she handed him the glass vial, “Just don’t drink all of it, it contains a sedative.”

Teldryn raised an eyebrow, “What kind of sedative?”

Sydari sighed, “It’s a type of sap from this tree in Whiterun Hold, it’s um…”

Teldryn chortled, “Say no more hla’Miluth, say no more,” he raised the small bottle to his lips and took a small sip, “tastes like shit though,” he smiled and handed the mostly full vial back to her.

“You think everything does,” Sydari replied as she replaced the stopped and returned the vial to her pack.

She stood up and offered Teldryn her hand, “Come on, let's get you back to the Netch.”

“Aww come on Miluth!” Teldryn frowned, “It’s just over this ridge, we’re so close. Why go back now?”

Sydari pulled her pack over her shoulder and offered him her hand again, “Because you’re not making it up that hill, not in your wildest dreams.”

And finally a bit from Kagrumez Gauntlet

I took a few steps back, dagger still readied…just in case. The specter reached out.

“It is okay, Dumu, I mean you no harm,” there was an echo to his voice as well, as if he was both far away and far too close. I wonder if that is why he never spoke last time.

“Wha-“I stammered, I had no idea what any of this was.

He held up a hand and shook his head, “Does your Ata know you have that?”

I slowly lowered your dagger, putting it away. I shook my head at the ghost.

He sighed, “Nervyna, these places are death traps for the best of us. You cannot be messing around in here.”

I pouted, “Ata said he’d take me down here to help with his research. We were supposed to be here together but he ditched me with my cousins and came here himself,” I folded my arms, “It’s not fair!”

The ghost shook his head, his hair almost floating around him, “Oh Dumu, I am sure he had good reason. It is a new place, yes?”

I nodded, “That’s why we were going to come down here together,” I told the ghost, “then all of a sudden he decides ‘No! It’s time to go visit your cousins!’” I mimicked your gruff tone as best as I could. It made the ghost laugh.

“Ah, I think I know what is wrong, Nervyna,” the ghost smiled, “Your Ata found that down here, I do not think he wants one of these ambushing the two of you.”

I looked back at the metal mer that lay battered and broken, melted to the floor. Did he see this thing and run? I sighed, “So he saw this thing and ran away? It’s dead. Creepy but it’s dead.”

The ghost approached the broken hunk of metal and knelt over it, “Nervyna, your Ata does not run from these things. This is his doing.”

I walked over to where the ghost was kneeling, standing on the opposite side of the twisted metal mer, “how would you know that? I don’t even know who you are?”

The ghost furrowed his brow or tried to, the long scar that cut across his face seemed to make it hard, even in this form, “Nervyna, I have known your Ata for a very long time. More than he would probably care to admit. I know how he attacks these things. I have seen him do it many times. Dumu I know your Ata took down this metal mer because I do not know anyone else who can melt this kind of metal.”

I stared at the thing’s melted surface. It reminded me a little too much of how an ice mer melts during the early spring thaw. Like the ones that you would build with me whenever snow fell on the mountains to the north of the island. You hated the cold but you would take me up there every year so that we could make one. This wasn’t making any sense.

“I haven't seen Ata so much as take down a slaughterfish let alone whatever this thing is,” I stood and stomped back towards the stairs that lead further into the ruin.

“Nervyna! Wait!” the ghost called back as I descended the stairs. I replenished the light I had summoned with some of my magicka, just like you showed me. ‘Imagine you can make the light stronger with just one touch,’ I had finally started getting the hang of doing that.

The ghost reformed in front of me as I entered a colossal chamber. The whole place buzzing and whirring with that magical steam you always talked about. He frowned at me, bow gripped tightly in his ethereal fist. 

“Please do not run off like that. I can not protect you if you move too far away from me,” he cautioned, though his tone was even and calm, I could tell there was a slight hint of annoyance there.

“I never asked for your protection, ghost. I don’t even know who you are,” I grit my teeth, I never summoned any ancestor ghost. I don’t even know that spell yet!

The ghost blinked at me before sighing, “That is my fault, I forget that you do know what I look like. I am Erra, I was-“

“You’re Aya’s uncle!” I interrupted, I had heard of him before. I had heard of him a lot, in fact. You had called him by the same words that you used for Alma.

For a brief moment, I thought I saw the ghost frown. He smiled again and nodded, “Yes, that is it.”

[mosalahd]

Not be a dick but I really want to know!! Soft asks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6,9, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 29

dw about it! i'm actually v flattered you want to know so much about me <33 answers under the cut just so i don't happen to clog anyone's tl (:

1. what song makes you feel better? so i already answered this in h's ask, but! i have a whole playlist of comfort-songs so i'll give you another one, no halo by brockhampton (:

2. what's your feel-good movie? so..my comfort movies are all kinda. sad. bc feeling worse makes me feel better? if that makes sense? but yeah forrest gump and moonlight are probably my two main ones!

3. what's your favourite candle scent? i know what it is but i don't know what it's called sorry )):

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical) oh no uh. ok physical, my hands are pretty, i like my eye color...my nose is cute? non-physical, my music taste is amazing, i can draw p well sometimes, i'm very good at predicting plot-twists in books.

9. what calms you down? sum good ol music

13. what's your comfort food? probably tteokbokki

14. favourite feel-good show? i don't really watch shows that often..or like ever but. umbrella academy? i guess?

17. fairy lights or LED lights? led lights, fairy lights have too much leverage for spiderwebs

18. do you still love stuffed animals? yes! i have a dino plushie on my bed, his name is lewis <3 i also had a shark plushie called pedro but i had to leave it in stockholm ):

19. most important thing in your life? my parents probably. if you look past all the trauma and long lasting issues they're p much my closest friends. i am conflicted about it tho but yeah

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be? ur friends in middle school are assholes, hang out w other people instead they're not worth ur time and are gonna leave you w a lot of trust issues. also all the ppl you crushed on up until like second year of gymnasiet suck AND ignore that one guy you talked to in third year of gymnasiet he also sucks. also ur music taste is golden, keep it up.

22. what would you say to your future self? i have a complicated relationship w the future which i'm not gonna go into here but...uuhhhmmmm. pop off sis (i'm sorry i really don't know)

24. what's something you do to de-stress? go for long walks or longboard if the season is right

25. what's the best personal gift someone could give you? playlist!! i mean nobody has ever given me one, i'm usually the one giving one but i long for the day someone makes me a playlist <3

29. morning, afternoon or night? night 100% i can't get out of bed in the morning, and afternoon stresses me out bc the day is ending but night is just nice and calm and dark and pretty and you can stare at the moon! and stars! you can't stare at the sun, therefore night superior.

soft asks to get to know me <3

[jensenackle]

so, falling in love? the greatest thing in the world. makes u feel invencible like you could swallow the entire world raw and nobody could stop you. You'd like to think you could go on and on forever talking about love but its been so long you dont even remember anymore

getting your heart broken? well that is something. at first you feel like its the end of the world. And you know what? it kinda is. not in the "im going to die because of this" way, but instead, its like you wake up from the haze and reality hits you in the chest so damn hard it takes your breath away. it is raw and the most painful thing in the world, to think the person you trusted and loved more than anyone just betrayed your trust and stabbed you in the back. its not that they're unfaithful the thing that hurts, not entirely, but rather that they knew it would hurt you, and they did it all the same. and then lied about it. And you know damn well that once you start telling lies you can never stop and now you're like a snowball tumbling down getting bigger as the moments pass by, but its all gonna come crashing down inevitably. its losing the trust you had put in that person and now you cant even believe your etes because nothing seems true anymore. Is the sky really blue? The grass green? Or am i just blind to the truth?

trying to work things out means forgiveness and apologies and forgetting and getting over. it truly means turning the page around, period. there's no other way, you can't bend this to work like you'd like. Because that's when things get ugly. And i mean really fucking ugly and you feel like you've lost yourself because suddenly you're acting like you've never have before, like you said you never would. And its new and terrifying and so bad and ugly you're scared you're stepping into the darkest version of you and you don't even recognize yourself.

you start asking yourself questions, like what have they done to me? but also what have i allowed people to turn me into? and also why? Mostly why. And you can't wrap your head around this, because life was like a bliss and you felt divine but now you feel like someone's attached an anchor to your ankle and thrown you to the deepest ocean and youre sinking and drowning and struggling, and you know life changes fast but why did it have to change to this? did i really deserve it?

but you didn't deserve it. The betrayal and feeling like dying and the depression and that one time when you first stepped outside your house in the aftermath, after weeks of being in bed and not sleeping at all barely eating and crying yourself to sleep, and you couldn't keep the tears from falling or the sobs from coming out your mouth because you were overwhelmed. You didnt deserve it, and you werent responsable for that either. None of it was your fault, and maybe the guilt of "what if i had done anything different?" will leave your body someday.

But it was them. They're the ones that screwed you over and then claimed to love you. You can understand now, though, that they're humans because we all are and we all make mistakes. But you can't forgive, him treating you like a fool and lying and going behind your back. You've never forgotten nor forgiven. And you had to get back at him didn't you? Had to have your revenge.

But he didn't deserve it either and that eats you up but you wont do anything about it because its not your place to do so. Because you'll try to justify yourself but you were in the wrong. Tried to convince yourself you were over and done, could fall in love again, and he wasnt a rebound. Nope, not all. He was the real thing. But you know now you were lying to yourself back then. He was convenient. And willing. And you kinda liked but you know he liked you a lot so you took advantage. I know its no fair putting it in those words, its not like you were conscious about what you were doing, so far down in denial, but its what you did anyway and now you have to own up to it. Now youve hurt a lot of people and yourself too, some didnt deserve it and some did, just because you tried to cover up your feelings. How did that work out for you, baby girl?

Getting back with an ex is a big no-no, you've learnt your lesson or you're starting to, trying to, wanting to. Because the shit thats in the past should fucking stay in the past. Its there for a reason anyway, digging it up will amount to nothing eventually. And im talking about feelings and emotions and situations and friendships and lovers. The whole deal. Whats dead should say well, dead. It died right? And trying to bring it back to life will make it morph into something new. But if youre lucky, like really fucking lucky, the new thing will be good and bright and beautiful. But if youre like me? Luck has never been on our side. And now the zombie will try to please you and you'll try to please him too until you find yourself reaching for the shotgun and pointing it right to them while they're coming for you.

Because the new is gonna be so exciting at first, like you've been missing out on life all the time you've been away from them like you finally can breath. But then the spell is over and reality hits you and guess what? It's ugly, obviously. It always was but you just didnt wanna see it but now the curtain is up and the blindfold is gone and you have to go and confront yourself and tell yourself the truth.

It'll be ages till you listen though. Denial, again. I kinda feel like that's become our thing. And nasty little habit, that is. And even when you finally start to listen, you will withdraw again. Reach out for the cover again. Because the truth is ugly and painful and you dont want that. You dont want to believe your fairytale love doesnt get happy ending, probably never will. And it will come crashing down and burning, like it has in the past, like you've so desperately tried to avoid. No one wants to face that

But life is what it is whether you like it or not and avoiding the inevitable will only make things harder and thats right - uglier. But maybe if you could hold on into that last bright thing... maybe you could fix it all. But you know you can't.

Too much shit has happened now. You've got baggage now. Not that you didn't have it before from your insecurities and years of teenage depression but it wasnt like this. Never like this. Back then you didn't like your self but you trusted your convictions and rules and now that you've done all the shit you said you wouldn't, who are you now? What do you believe in anymore? Do you believe in anything? Now you second guess.

You would have jumped had he asked. Would have done anything for him, and it sounds pretty but it isn't and you've lost yourself so damn deep you're never finding that again so it would be better to rebuild from scratch, right? But now you're longing and nostalgic for who you were, and what it was and how you felt. Like walking on clouds.

But then it hits you and you feel like you can't even breath: you don't feel like that anymore. And even if you want to turn your head away from this you can't. And now you have to do something. You owe it to yourself, after all. Can't waste more of her heart and time.

And it's a slow path. Bunch of rocks in the way. It's hard to walk and you keep turning back but keep walking forward because it's the only thing to do, even if you want to go back, and you want, but you cant. Hoping that you wont. Even if it hurts. For you.

And here we are at the end of things. The end of the world. The world you built for yourself and him that no longer will be and everything will die with it, the inside jokes and knowing each other and the old memories and the new memories and everything in between. Breaking up, if it was true love, will feel like dying because parts of you will (the ones you were with him and the ones he takes with you) and will feel like the world is shattering around you because it is.

Falling out of love? Not as fun as falling in. But you learn more. Lose a lot more than just people, but you lose perspective on the beauty of life and of love. Especially love. You become bitter and cynical. You desperately want to view life bright again because now it feels as if someone dimmed the lights. And at the same time you want to embrace the new thoughts. Arent sure which one is the bad and which the good, or if there is a good or bad at all, and now you're confused and conflicted.

It takes time. I'm still trying to figure out.

[monstas1ut2]

2/3 Eren Yeager (Smut Warning!)

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

That's why I fucked yo' bitch, you fat motherfucka!

The screenshot sound was pretty loud as your back went up and down like a roach sprayed with raid. The male on the other side of the phone laughing his ass off. Well, he wasn't the only one.. but he's the one who took the screenshot.

"Delete that shit, don't put it on Instagram Connie!" Your pretty face was immediately in the camera's view. Your eyes a little wide at the fact that you were caught off guard. But at the same time, you let yourself go in front of the group. That's your wrong doing. But it made them smile nonetheless.

The people who were on the call at the moment were Connie, Jean, and Sasha. The rest were either too bothered to be in such a crackhead group, or they were busy.. probably the first one. Anyways, everyone in first period happened to be your friend, they were all different but they adored you nonetheless... even Annie... she just hides hers pretty well. Anyways, It's almost the end of senior year already and the bond is hard to break..

"That's my favorite song, you can't be catchin a hoe off guard.." you scolded the bald male who still happened to be laughing. His controller in his hand since he was playing nba2k. Jean was also playing but at the moment he was trying to figure out what you were doing.. and he's mad he didn't see..

"What did she do now?!"

"She was throwing her back out of place!" Sasha muffled out as she was stuffing her cheeks with a Hershey chocolate bar. She was also watching Hell's Kitchen on her tv, you could hear it.

"Daddy Jean aint need to hear all that.." you playfully spoke as you bit your lip at him. It was obvious he liked you, not to the point where he wanted a relationship though.. he's just a bit of a man whore.

Though everytime you mumble a 'Daddy Jean' , he's all for it. That's yo bitch.

After a bit of a pause of talking, Connie had picked up his phone and you were now cleaning the table that was in your room. The last time you were in this room, you didn't even have time to clean... Your father was screaming for you to hurry.

Let's explain, this weekend, you are visiting Hange, your mother . She missed you so she invited you to stay for a few days. Today is Friday so you have the whole weekend with her. She had planned Saturday and Sunday. Not to mention, Monday is a holiday so no school. 

"Hey guys... uh Armin and Eren having a party.. y'all comin?"

All while Sasha said yes, along with Jean.. you were still jamming to 2-pac spitting his shit. Your hand movements not going unseen by the three on your phone. So in result of not having a response from you, Connie screamed oh so suddenly which caused you to jump pretty high.

"What the Fuck is yo problem!? You bein held by gunpoint nigga?" Your voice showing 1% concern as you moved closer to the phone on your dresser and you stared into it.. quite surprised still.

"(Y/n)... you makin my hair fall out..." Connie spoke as he gave a sarcastic smile and... wow it was hard for everyone to suppress their laughter... your face would turn purple instead of red though..

"Ight~... watchu want?..."

"Eren-"

"Oooh, Eren.." you spoke in interest, your long eyelashes fluttering. This however made Jean and Connie 'throw up' at the same time. All while you rolled your (e/c) eyes.

"Yall do too much-.. and Jean, stay in yo game ight?.. befo I come through the screen and punch-"

"Eren havin a party.. are you going..?"

Tilting your head in slight disbelief that Connie interrupted you. Your eyes rolled as you looked to the side. Obviously leading them on, but at the same time they knew that Hange will let you go...

"Fine. But somebody pickin me up.. and Sasha cuz boo-boo can't drive worth a dime.."

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

As much as you hated it, you sat uncomfortably in the dodge... Ugh... It's just something about you and dodge's. The cars radiate fuck boy energy, and guess who happened to be driving this car? Jean..

Though he let you sit in the passenger seat just because. Your eyes staring out the window as you messed with the stockings you had on. They were in a bit of a web, that was the design. You also had on a plaid skirt and this crop top with some white platforms. Oh you looked scrumptious.

The person who put this outfit together in the first place was Hange.

"Baby Jean, you need a new car... cuz-"

"It radiates Fuck boy energy.. you said it the first time you ever saw it... I know.." Jean pouted as he continued to drive to Eren's house. Who was shared with Armin. The two always lived together, some speculated that they were... sparkle sparkle.. gay.. but they aren't.. not that you would've minded.. it just would've been a bummer.

"(Y/n)... Didn't Your father take your car away...?"

Glaring back at Connie, who was wearing a white shirt with black pants and some timbs. You rolled your eyes and looked through your window again.

"Yeah but my car is a Mitsubishi.."

The neighborhood around these parts were quite pretty. Just like where you lived with your dad. But at the same time you were confused as to how Eren and Armin could afford such a place. The first thing popping in your mind being. Drug dealer and then you thought about what Sukihana said about dating them...

That's probably why Levi didn't want you around him... Yeah.. This whole senior year has been Levi making sure Eren doesn't sit beside you... nor have a project with you... It's like he barely existed at first. Though you always had these ways to talk to him. He's not even that bad.. he's quite the hottie and he knows what to say... he's just a flirt, and you edge him on every time...

"(Y/n)! Can you come with me to find the food?"

Snapping out of those thoughts of Eren, you didn't even realize Jean had already parked. A small 'mhm' coming from your throat as you opened the car door. Everyone else doing the same. Lord it was a bunch of people out here. People were outside and inside which was baffling honestly.

A soft hand touched your wrist and started to drag you towards the house door. It was Sasha, her mouth almost watering for something to eat. She told Eren to make sure there was extra cheese in the fridge for her. Hidden... and lo and behold when you both shimmied through the crowd, the cheese was in the fridge. Her eyes beaming as she grabbed some chips as started eating like it was her last meal, nothing out of the ordinary.

"This music actually hits..." you spoke out to nobody in particular as your hips started to move ever so gently. Though as nice as your body was, it looked more seductive than anything. Popping one of those chips into your mouth as your hips continued to wine ever so gently.

The looks you were getting, not only lustful but want... The way your long dreads just complimented your look had only made it worse. The second you decide to stop, it seemed like everyone stopped looking at you. In slight despair that you'd stopped. Though one individual in particular was continuing to stare...

His hand, wrapped around the cup as he'd sipped at the liquid inside. The black ring on his middle finger caused his hand to look hotter than it already was. He had these prominent veins that would just look so pretty on your brown skin...

"She likes you too..." the blonde that was a tad bit shorter spoke to his childhood friend, Eren.

"What makes you say that..." lord, somehow over all this music, and his low tone... you could still feel the vibration of Eren's voice. Just glancing from the kitchen as Eren was sitting on the couch in the living room. Leaning back like he owned the place... well he did.

Fine ass..

Giving him a bit of a stare, your glossy lips curved into a smirk as you glanced at him up and down. All before turning your attention back to your friend who was having the time of her life eating...

"So Sash.. what's up with you and Connie...? Yall gon date.. or-"

"(Y/n)!"

"My bad.. my bad.. I just wanted to know"

The party was a bit lively, more than anything since this is a longer weekend. So everyone was happy.. including you because they were playing your favs. So of course your body started to move again. That skirt of yours being a paid actress in helping you look more hot. Though, what you did not expect was someone coming up behind you...

Now that's nasty..

You whipped your head around about to give them an earful... though... you saw that smexy... face and you looked kinda shocked...

"Oh..." you choked out before turning your head again.. Eren's evil little smirk had caught you off guard. It boosted his confidence even more that you didn't feel the need to even move away from him. His hands slithering onto your full hips.

Man, he was really risking everything this time... considering your father is.. Levi...

This however was thrown out of the window because of the fact that you could feel Eren's... crotch against that thick form of yours. That little smirk on your face only widening as you started to gently rub against him, your back bending over somewhat.

His long brown hair then started to ever so gently fall in front of his face as his greenish eyes stared hard into your body. That harsh little grip on your waist made you feel all different types of high. Gawd.

"You like that huh...? I know.." your cute, but seductive voice made Eren chuckle just a tad. It causing you to almost choke on those words.. This man didn't need to TRY to be hot... he was already smexy.

His hands then started to travel up your body to your arms and he gently pulled you up towards him, your back against his scrumptious chest. All you could do was open your mouth a bit, quite surprised that he wanted to be this close with you.

"Eren... You a lil close... you needa tell me sum?"

The way you spoke, the way you carried yourself... it was new to Eren when he first met you.. but he got used to it real quick and he noticed he wanted something he never knew existed.. and that was you.

"Can't tell you here... but I can tell you in the bedroom..." Eren purred out, his voice smooth as a babies skin, smooth as butter. It caused you to tingle, the female between your legs wanting that more than anything.

Biting your glossy lips, the room started to become hotter than it already was. The people who were in the house started to pile out of the main and started to go outside. It was quite cold outside as well, but the party continues.

"Where the hell is (Y/n)..." Jean spoke to himself as he watched Connie and Sasha become drunks in two seconds. It was obvious he himself could not drink since he is the driving parent tonight.. but he now had nothing to do... he's just wondering where... you are..

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

"S-..Shit Eren~..."

The (f/c) nails you had were now digging into Eren's muscular arms as his lips caressed your neck. The seductive kisses making dark marks on your brown, beautiful skin.

Your head being thrown back onto the soft black pillow as your pretty toes curled. Feeling Eren's slender fingers inside of your pussy. His intimidating green eyes watching your every expression, every move. Seeing that your crop top was already rolled up over your pretty chocolate mound breasts that were covered with your bra.

"E-Eren, s-stahp..." choking that out, you could hear the loud rip of your stockings when Eren moved his hand out of them. The wetness of your brown pussy lips being known pretty well when Eren's fingers slid your panties to the side.

"You don't want me to stop... huh...?"

"N-No.."

The electricity shocked through you when you watched Eren stare down into your eyes. Lust and want, all in them as his key necklace dangled in front of your face ever so gently.

His shirt immediately being discarded as he watched your pussy pulse from his fingers being pulled away from it. It was amazing to him how much you wanted him.. it was amazing... it ran something through him...

All you could see was his muscular frame, his hands to match as he easily tore through your bra. Watching the way your breasts fumbled out of the cups. He never seen a black woman's breasts before.. but it couldn't get any better than this though.. is what he thought.

"Daddy~... don't stare at em..." you pouted playfully before licking your glossy lips. Just running your fingers up Eren's arms as you eventually made your way up to his luscious hair. Running your fingers through the locks. Pulling him down ever so gently to finally get that kiss you wanted.

Eren's eyes glowed when he felt your soft lips, the lip gloss giving him this taste of lovely. His lips tasted of some sugar, kinda made you wonder what was in his cup before this.

The wetness of Eren's tongue touching yours as the both of you withered in this naughty, sloppy kiss. Something you both weren't supposed to do.... It was fun, crazy... scary..

"You act all bad outside of the bedroom huh... but you ain't ever have someone touch you..." Eren teased gently, in a whisper against your lips. His hand gripping your chin as he stared at your innocent looking face. Gently spitting all nastily into your mouth and you moaned out seductively. Swallowing it so easily..

"Show daddy you'll be able to take it..."

Eren's cock was so hard in his pants, it being unzipped by him and his underwear was now restricting his release. His eyes staring at your pretty pussy, the wet, pink insides were bright and untouched. Though his pale cock was eager to invade it.

"I-.. I can take it daddy..." your whimpers echoed In Eren's ears as he pushed his underwear down. Your knees being pushed to your chest as you felt Eren's stare. The plaid skirt you had was still on, so you tried to cover your pretty pussy with it.

"Stop... don't hide now.." Eren scoffed out as he gripped under your thighs, the underside of his cock rubbing up and down your wet and gooey pussy.

"Hold your legs... don't move.."

It was so demanding, your pussy clenching already as the wetness dripped down to your other hole. Your pretty, long nails visible to Eren as you held your legs as tightly as you could. Knowing Eren's cock was a monster. You could see it... right between your legs.. right between your brown pussy lips.. the contrast was unbelievable..

"F-Fuck!! Eren~~ ow~" the way your painted toes curled gave Eren a shiver of excitement. Your back arching ever so slightly as your virgin hole was taken away from you. Squeezing tightly around Eren's experienced cock.

"Shh.. it's Ight.. take it babydoll.." Eren's whisper was gentle and sincere as his thumb started to gently rub at your clit. Causing you to swallow your spit, though it spilled out. What also spilled out is your loud whimper. Your legs staying wide open for him as your hand slowly slid up his muscular structure.

"It's .. i-it's so big..."

Hearing these whimpers and words spill from your throat, Eren couldn't help but take his hand and wrap it around your throat. Causing your breath to be taken away oh so suddenly when Eren snapped his hips forward even more.

"Fuck!" Your moan could probably be heard outside as your breasts bounced from the impact. Eren's smirk wide as he felt the tightness of your insides. His necklace going back and forth ever so gently as his pelvis started to clap against you. The feeling was so foreign to you, having someone ram into you like this. But it was Eren... it wasn't just 'someone'..

Your (f/s) scent was powering against Eren's own scent. The feeling of Eren's cock was starting to really take a toll on you..

"A-Ahgh..."

Eren's cock was being enclosed so tightly, you just wet up his Dick so well.. he was starting to become obsessed.. more than he already was.

"Daddy's. little. pussy..." his deep voice echoed in your ears as he started to get a bit faster. Your breasts bouncing even more as Eren made sure that skirt was moved out the way. He wanted to make sure to see everything. His hand squeezing harder at your throat. It was keeping you firm against the bed, like a little fuck doll...

"I-it's your pussy Eren~"

Curling those pretty toes again, you could feel the bubbles in your lower region. The craziest orgasm you've ever experienced... just tip toeing to the tippy top. All you could muster was a pathetic whine. Your eyes watering up behind your long eyelashes.

"I'm-.. I'm cumming..." Your voice was so weak, it sounded like you were passing out almost. Just rolling your eyes back as the bed frame started to hit the wall. Your pussy gushing more than usual as the white cum started to coat Eren's cock a little.

"Shit... yeah~..." Eren growled under his breath, watching you come undone on his pale cock. Your thicker form was just so adorable, looking all bent up. Your locs scattered around ever so softly.

It was like he was fucking a goddess...

Eren was between harsh and soft, his manhandling ways were shown easily by the way he pulled out quickly and turned you over. Your plump ass shaking like jello as his cock easily slipped inside once again.. filling you up for the second time. God you just couldn't wait till you could feel his cum...

"Imma Fuck you till you turn dumb..." Eren spoke harshly as his long fingers gripped at some of your locs. Pulling them and wrapping them around his wrist somewhat. Gaining all control over you and your own body...

He wasn't playing either...

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2

[catsnkooks]

sweeter than expected

alpha!boba x (fem) omega!reader

summary: After he saved you, you couldn't help but fall for the stoic alpha. Turns out, loving Boba was sweeter than expected.

word count: 2.1k

rating: e

warnings: a/b/o dynamics, smut, unprotected PIV sex, oral (brief, f receiving), knotting, heat cycles, virgin reader kinda? smut with feels, general discrimination against omegas

a/n: all the fault of @auty-ren for giving me the idea and sorta @maybege too for feeding all of us those good alpha!boba thots

taglist: @girlvader @valkyrieofthehighfae @jadetheaverage @kriffclone @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @thewellofeternalthirst @hayley-the-comet @arkainea @captainrexstan @missinashkin @calamity-queen @banrionsi @xxdisappearwithoutatracexx @lussyyung @silverfish-kingdom @elena-myth @msgrape @auty-ren @cannedsoupsucks @ortizshinkaroff @hornystarwarsbisexual @scorpioxsith @anteatingbitchlizard @groovinomicon @northernpunk @marvgrrl @lothiriel9 @smollpinkgirl @buckysalefty @rawkylove @phoenixhalliwell @writing-with-whiplash @dinbrowneyesdjarin @icelily497133 @ladyjenny19 @equalstrashflavoredtrash @seratoninforyouseratoninforme @blue-writes-a03 @katastrophic04 @bethquinnns @kiwiijuice @katiebits1 @justrae9903 @aeuna1 @immortanholmes999 @iamthepaninpanic @lilriv05 @roamalongwithme @cherry-cokes-world @sporadicshoebailifffish @softmandos @allhailkingboba @foreversfangirl @alittletosalted @two-ships-in-the-night @idobekindadeadinside @bonktime @chickens-r-great @libraryofrecs @lilkermit14 @ezraswife @iceman-ynwa @awkward-katiesaur @ifyoueverwanttobe @pucksart @lavendersb @maiihem @jujublan @pairinglover @blondecity @musubabii @razzlefrazzum @never-no-locomotive @kvwviiju @intj-panacea @onfiretakemehigher @drunkenliterary @mickeymouse-moshpit @darmanfi @anxious1y-waiting @metahigh @silverhowe @coaaster @tacticalsparkles click here to be added to the taglist!

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here it is on ao3!!

"Let her go."

His voice was gruff, containing a hint of alpha dominance. It made your knees buckle, but apparently not for the beta behind you.

"Oh, I will," your captor said, pressing their blaster harder into your head. "For a price. Do you know how valuable omegas are?"

The alpha was silent as he cocked his head, not withdrawing his blaster. "Name it and you'll have it."

The beta rattled off a price, your entire life summed up in numbers. You wanted to sob and you were sure everyone within a mile radius could smell the fear on your scent. Why was life so unfair?

"Deal." The alpha motioned for your captor to give you over, still not withdrawing his blaster.

The beta shoved you forward and you stumbled into the alpha's arms. His free hand wrapped around your back, holding your head to his neck, where you could smell calming pheromones.

"Don't look, little one," he murmured.

You buried your face in his neck, hands scrabbling at the armor covering his chest. Then you heard the sound of his blaster firing and the beta groaning, a body hitting the ground a moment later. The alpha pet your back, a crooning rumble coming from deep within his chest.

“You’re alright now, little ‘mega,” he murmured, petting your head. “You’re safe now.”

As the tear tracks dried on your cheeks, you inhaled his calming scent, your body slowly relaxing with every pass of his hand.

You were safe now.

---

Boba was unlike any alpha you’d ever met. He was kind and respectful of your space, never throwing around his scent or posturing around like all the alphas you’d known before. He’d explained that it was because in Mandalorian society, omegas were treated with the utmost respect, something he hated about the rest of the Outer Rim.

After that day, he’d given you a place to stay in his palace, saying you could stay for as long as you’d like. You told yourself you’d only trouble him for a week. But then a week turned into a month, and a month turned into three, and half a year later you lived comfortably in Boba’s palace, protected from everything that could harm you.

Everything but yourself apparently.

Your heats hadn’t snuck up on you like this since you’d first gotten them. You either took suppressants that got rid of them completely or, recently, when Boba insisted you didn’t have to take your suppressants anymore while you lived there, taken pills to control your heats so they wouldn’t be as bad. But Boba had left on a hard job a week ago and you were stressed about him and forgot to take your pills. Now, you lay on your bed, writhing in pain and wishing Boba were here with you.

---

Boba descended the ramp of the Slave I, surprised to see Fennec waiting for him outside.

“Something wrong?” he asked as he walked into his palace, her following him on his heels.

“Yes,” she said simply. “Take off your helmet and you’ll find out.”

Curious, he did as she said, then swore when he smelled your potent scent. His helmet filtered most scents so he didn’t even realize you had come down with your heat--a bad one at that--until he took it off.

“Where is she?” he demanded.

“In her room,” Fennec replied. “I’ve made sure everyone else stays far away.”

He nodded in approval, already making his way to your quarters. “Have someone come by later with some food to last us for a couple of days. And if anyone comes looking for me, tell them I’m busy.”

Fennec nodded and did as he said, not questioning why he would be gone. His heart thudded in his chest from nervousness.

He hoped you would accept him.

---

Boba found you sleeping fitfully in your bed, a nest of pillows spread out all around you. Almost instantly, you smelled his alpha scent and whined, rubbing your slickened thighs together. He came over to you, shushing you and rubbing his fingers on your scent gland on your neck.

“Sh, little ‘mega, it’s alright,” he murmured.

“A-alpha,” you gasped, clutching onto his arm. “Hurts.”

“I know, I’m here now.” He began shucking off his armor with one hand, continuing to caress your neck with his other. “Alpha will make it better.”

You whined again, but his calming tone and gentle caresses had made your body relax, and you sunk into the pillows of your nest. Once Boba stripped himself of everything except his boxers, he pulled back the thin sheet covering your sweat-sheened body, chuckling when he saw you wearing only one of his shirts.

“Couldn’t wait for me to get back, you had to raid my closet?”

You shivered as the cool air hit your body, nodding and mewling. In your heat-ridden haze, you’d stumbled to his room and stole one of his shirts, just so you could smell his scent.

“My little ‘mega so needy,” he growled, sliding his hands up your body, bringing the shirt up and over your head. It had been too hot with the shirt on, but you needed to have his dominant alpha scent on you, but that was no longer needed with him on top of you.

“Alpha, please,” you begged. You needed his cock in you now.

He shushed you, his hands caressing down your sides and to your thighs, his lips kissing away the desperate tears on your cheeks. “I know. I gotta get you ready first.” Then he sealed your panting lips with his.

Your hands scrabbled at his muscular shoulders, mewling into his kiss as his fingers parted your slick folds, teasing your sensitive nub. You moaned, becoming pliant in his arms when he inserted one of his thick fingers into you. It felt so much better than one of your fingers. He slowly pumped his finger in and out of your hole, teasing your clit with his thumb, swallowing up your mewls and whines with his lips.

“Please, alpha,” you begged again. “N-need your cock, please.”

He kissed you one last time and then removed his fingers from your hole. You almost sobbed from the feeling of emptiness, but stopped when you felt the blunt head of his cock at your entrance.

“Are you ready for me, little ‘mega?” he growled.

You nodded. “Yes, yes, please alpha!”

All the air in your lungs left you when he pushed his cock into your weeping hole. You squeezed your eyes shut, listening to his groan and growl above you as he finally bottomed out in you. You were so full, much fuller than you had ever been before.

Boa called your name and you pried your eyes open to look at him. “Does that feel good little ‘mega?” he crooned, pulling back his hips and thrusting into you, grinning as a cry left your lips.

You cried out his name and wrapped your legs around his waist as he thrust his cock into you. His thrusts steadily became rougher until his hips were slamming into yours. He buried his face in your neck, licking and nipping at your gland, making your whole body quake. The room was filled with the obscene wet noises of your bodies melding together, but you didn’t care as his cock brought you closer and closer to release.

“Are you gonna cum for me, little ‘mega?” he growled against your neck, his fingers finding your clit once again. “I know you are, I can feel it. You’re so tight around me. C’mon I know you can do it.”

A few thrusts later and you did. You screamed out his name, tossing your head back and squeezing your thighs around his hips. He groaned and as you felt his knot begin to inflate, he pulled back, but you tightened your grip on him, holding him against you.

“No, alpha, please, need your knot,” you begged.

“Oh, you want to take my knot?” he growled, pushing it back into you with a curse. Your eyes rolled back into your head and you became boneless in his arms as his knot inflated fully, filling you completely. “Just like that. There’s my good little ‘mega. Just like that.”

Soon after his knot finished inflating, Boba swore again and you felt the hot ropes of his cum paint your walls. Boba murmured your name, kissing your gland, reminding you to breathe. You gulped down huge breaths of air, finally feeling the worst of the fever die down with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

Once his knot had deflated enough, Boba slipped out and off of you. You whimpered, reaching out blindly for him, and he kissed your cheeks, murmuring that he was just going to your ‘fresher to clean up. He returned a moment later with a wet rag and cleaned up the mess of slick and his cum between your thighs. You sighed and settled yourself against him when he finally laid down next to you.

“Feel better?” he asked, rubbing your back with his large hand.

You nodded, yawning. “Yeah, thank you, alpha.”

You fell asleep listening to the deep rumble of his chest.

---

You awoke again the next day in a pool of sweat and slick, needy and begging for Boba to help. He’d satisfied you with his mouth, obscenely tasting you with his mouth. While you came down from your high, Boba left to get some food that was left out for you. He returned with a pitcher of water and some glasses, some bread, and some cheese.

He gave you a glass of water and set out the bread and cheese, encouraging you to eat, saying you needed your energy for the days to come. Your heart warmed at his gentle displays of affection, and you snuggled up against him when he laid down next to you again.

“Did you forget to take your heat pill?” he asked, holding a piece of cheese up to your mouth for you to take.

You nodded, chewing. “Yeah. I was too worried about you.”

His chest rumbled under your ear as he chuckled. “Worried about me? You know I can handle myself.”

“Boba.” You sat up so you could look at him, placing a hand on his scarred chest. “I care about you.”

He met your eyes, shining with an emotion you couldn’t place. “Why?” he asked, his voice small.

You huffed. “First, you saved me, so you have that going for you.” His lips turned up in a small smirk. “Second, you’ve shown me nothing but kindness here. And third--,” You crawled forward until your face was directly over his, cupping his cheeks, “--it’s hard not to care about you when I love you.”

Boba was silent for a moment, his face searching yours. “Do you mean that?”

You nodded. “With all of my heart.” And then you kissed him.

The kiss was soft and sweet, not rushed by the onset of your heat. He slowly turned you over, until he was once again on top of you, and you were comforted by the feel of his weight. You cupped his head as he kissed down your neck, over your gland, and onto your chest. Slick began to gather between your thighs again and you mewled, grinding your hips into his.

“Don’t worry, little ‘mega,” he murmured, kissing you. “I’ll take care of you. Forever.” 

And you believed him.

---

Six months later

You walked through the hallway of the palace, making your way to the throne room. Fennec stopped you in the doorway right before it.

“I don’t think you want to go in there,” she said.

“Why not?”

The beta just nodded her head and then you could smell what she meant. Boba must be meeting with an alpha representative from somewhere. The air was thick with domineering alpha pheromones.

You brushed off her hand, appreciative of her concern. “They won’t try anything with Boba around.” Then you stepped through the doorway.

Whatever the other alpha was posturing about--something about how Boba shouldn’t hoard an omega--stopped once you walked through the doorway. They looked up expectantly at you, licking their lips, but froze when you lifted your neck, showing off Boba’s handiwork on your gland. You took a seat on Boba’s lap and he rested a gloved hand protectively over your swollen stomach.

“You were saying?” he practically growled, his voice holding the barest hint of a challenge.

The other alpha cleared their throat, looking down at their feet. You smirked, burying your face in Boba’s neck while he laid claim to you with a hand on your back and a hand on your pregnant belly.

Everyone knew Boba was the top alpha of his realm.

[thesoulspulse]

Danny Phantom Randomness (Why Vlad & Tucker Could Never Be Mayor!)

Before I get started, let me make a few things absolutely clear. Yes, I KNOW this is only a kid’s cartoon and I shouldn’t be thinking so hard about it. Yes, I KNOW Season 3 is the worst part of the series with only a few good things about it I am happy exist like Frostbite and such. And lastly, I am fully aware I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS. But hey even I can do my research and besides, I think we can all agree that regardless of the fact that Tucker helped figure out how to save the Earth too in Phantom Planet, letting him become Mayor of Amity Park makes NO SENSE!!!

He’s 14 for crying out loud!

Anyways, I’m about to go on a bit of a rant/ramble here so if this isn’t your thing it’s ok if you want to ignore this post. Just do me a favor and don’t make fun of how little I know about politics or get mad at me for anything I’m about to say, ok? I did the best I could and wanted to share my findings.

If you don’t mind sitting through this tirade of mine, feel free to read the rest down below. But yeah, I’m about to get at least somewhat political and realistic here so you’ve been warned...

Now, if I haven’t lost you yet I kinda ran into a few major problems while researching a few facts for the next chapter of my fanfic “Ghost In The Machine” which takes place during and after the episode “Kindred Spirits” which is the 3rd to last episode in season 2. Basically, I’m doing something slightly similar to what I did in my fanfic “Nowhere To Run” where I blamed a lot of the extra aggression Danny has towards Vlad in Season 3 on the fact that he went too far by not only cloning Danny, but KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING A 14 YEAR OLD!

And likewise, Vlad is especially hostile towards Danny for more or less murdering his 'perfect half-ghost son’ too so after Danny pulls that ‘prank’ with the Guys in White that’s his excuse to make Danny’s life a living hell once he totally gives up on that dream of becoming a father. That brings us to our first point of why Vlad becoming Mayor of Amity Park also makes no sense!

Let’s sum up the episode “Eye for an Eye” first:

Day 1: Vlad's 2nd Castle is Destroyed (Note: This is probably when he goes to stay at the hotel)

Day 2: Danny's Bedroom is Raided by the Guys In White

Day 3: Vlad is Publicly Humiliated on Live TV

Day 4: Danny is Embarrassed at School & Vlad Travels to Amity Park after Purchasing the Nasty Burger and Destroys it. (Note: Hmm, another nod to Dan's timeline maybe?)

Day 5: Vlad Runs for Mayor as a Last Minute Write-In Candidate Then Overshadows All the Voters to Win.

Day 6: Vlad Makes a Speech About Danny Inspiring Him To Run for Mayor. (Note: I assume it's the next day but its hard to tell, I mean, they probably had to clean up the mess from their fight either way.)

Day 7-14: Vlad Puts New Rules in Place To Make Danny's Life More Difficult (Note: Ok, this HAD to have taken at least a week right? They can't enforce new laws THAT fast, right?)

Day 14-19: Vlad Uses the GIW to Capture Ghosts (Note: which Danny points out were totally staged since they're all the SAME THREE GHOSTS) for PR so People Think They Don't Need Danny Phantom.

Day 19 (Continued): Vlad Rebuilds the Nasty Burger as Mc Masters and Bans Teenagers (Note: Sadly this sort of thing actually IS legal, especially since I assume the Nasty Burger is a local fast food place that’s privately owned and not a fast food chain across the states in this world, but I can still see why it'd upset the local teens)

Day 20: Danny Convinces His Classmates To Help Protest When Vlad Refuses To Accept His Apology The Previous Day (Note: Yeah, Vlad was being extra petty at this point when Danny had to completely swallow his pride to even try to apologize for something he probably knows deep down WAS wrong no matter how evil Vlad is, you're better than that Danny!)

Day 21: Vlad Finally Lets Up After Danny Takes A Hit In Public AS Danny Fenton To Make Vlad Look Bad

Alright, now that we’ve summed up a time span for Vlad’s little tantrum more or less with a little bit of guess work, let’s address the problems with Vlad becoming Mayor which I’ll also apply to Tucker:

Problem 1 (Vlad Only):

“Many states require that residents spend at least 183 days or more in a state to claim they live there for income tax purposes. In other words, simply changing your driver's license and opening a bank account in another state isn't enough. You'll need to actually live there to claim residency come tax season.” ~ https://www.moving.com/tips/how-to-establish-residency-in-a-new-state/

I know Vlad’s powerful and can overshadow people, but I have a hard time believing he can convince that many people he’s lived in Amity Park for 6 months when he was on the News when there was a broadcast about his castle getting demolished in Wisconsin, and I mean if the news was big enough for the citizens of Amity Park to see on their local news, chances are the whole country did too otherwise why would they show it? He was literally only in Amity Park for 2 DAYS!

Problem 2 (Vlad Only):

According to the math I did, there are 366 days in a year so 183 days is basically half of that which means Vlad would have had to have been a resident of Amity Park for 6 MONTHS before he could even run for election! But as you can see, he was only in Amity park 3 weeks at most, and that’s in total, not before he actually ran for election! And there are about 26 weeks in half a year. So yeah, none of it adds up...

Problem 3 (Tucker Only):

In every state I could find an answer for, you have to be at LEAST 18 before you can run for office. And honestly, what sane teenager wants THAT much extra responsibility managing a whole town once they’re old enough to vote when they have enough to worry about moving out of their houses and getting ready for college...?

Problem 4 (Tucker Only):

You have to at least have a High School Diploma before you can run for office at minimum, but it varies depending on the state. Most require some college education too.

With that out of the way, let’s move onto the last part with Tucker and why it makes even LESS sense for anyone in their right mind to decide it’s a good idea to make a 14 year old Mayor of a whole town no matter how smart they are! Sorry Tucker, you’re a great kid, but for your sake I hope the mayor thing was more like a “mayor for the day” kind of thing to reward you for saving the world.

Personally I think you should have asked for something more your style such as asking for your own private limo with a driver included until you can get your driver’s license or first dibs on the latest tech for the rest of your life, idk!

Going off of my earlier points, to be fair Tucker has met the residential requirement since I assume he’s lived in Amity Park all his life and has known Danny since the 2nd Grade, maybe even Kindergarten. That also means he’s lived there at least 14 years.

Tucker is not 18 so he can’t legally vote, obviously. So why would they let him become mayor when he’s still just a minor?

Tucker is very smart BUT, he hasn’t graduated high school and therefore doesn’t even HAVE his Diploma yet.

I assume when the show started Danny, Tucker, and Sam were all Freshman and since there have been at least two summer-themed episodes in the series, aka “Reality Trip” and “Claw of the Wild” they were probably only Juniors by the time the series ended.

And there you have it!

In conclusion, no matter how rich and powerful Vlad is I doubt he has the ability to alter enough memories to believably fabricate that he’s been a resident of Amity Park long enough to legally run for Mayor. And Tucker may be a very intelligent teenager, but he just doesn’t meet the other requirements needed to realistically become Mayor. Again I know it’s a kids show, but there’s a limit to how much you can ignore how to make something believable.

[theduosetter]

── 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙠 ──

Pairing: Daichi Sawamura x f!reader

Summary: Two strangers laid their eyes upon one another and were captivated at first sight. All they were itching to know was their name yet who knew they were closer to each other than they realized.

Warning(s): cursing, fluff, adorable all around!!

A|N: I hope you enjoy this mini series! Any heart or reblog would be appreciated thank you! Feedback too :D

Links: m.list | writing commissions ✏️ || tip the writer ✍️ ||

Part: 3

"Hurry up, Y/n!" Hinata yelled as he grew impatient.

"I'm coming, Shoyo! You're literally outside of my door." you hung up and grabbed your bag along with your phone.

Opening your bedroom door you saw your best friend standing there tapping his foot. "Was it really necesarry for you to call me when you were already here?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed "I don't want you changing plans last minute."

"I'm not going to bail on you guys." you chuckled "Relax, we are going to hangout together today."

"Alright. Come on we still need to get to the gym to warm up." he grabbed your hand and ran downstairs.

"Shoyo!" you exclaimed "Where's Tobio anyway?"

When you got to the bottom of the stairs you saw the black haired friend sitting down at the kitchen table. A sigh escaped your lips knowing he wouldn't pass up the chance of some milk with your mom's pastries. "I can't quite say that I'm surprised."

"Do you wnt...s-sum?" he muffled as he chewed down on the bread making his cheeks chubbier.

"I'll be fine." you answered unlike the orange hair who stuffed a plastic bag filled with pastries while your mom laughed.

"Why don't I just give you guys some extra ones?" your mom said as she filled another bag with individual wrapped bakery goods.

"We'd appreciate it!" the duo spoke.

"We gotta go or else you'll be late for the game!" you exclaimed pulling each one away from the counter covered in sweets.

"Let me get one more!" Hinata whined, "One more-"

"You'll both end up getting stomach aches if you don't stop!" you retorted.

What seemed like eternity you managed to get them out the door despite the begs. "Please make sure to come back soon boys!" your mom said.

"We'll be back Mrs. (last name)! Thank you for the sweets!" they both yelled in unison.

"I will see you before closing, mom." you kissed her cheek and grabbed the four bentos. "Thank you for the food!"

"Be careful okay?" she waved goodbye at you then chuckled to herself, "I'm glad my baby has her friends."

"Seriously you guys barely have enough time to get to the gym!" you yelled out as you three ran towards the school's grounds. "I told you we had to go!"

"Yeah but your mom's bread was so good!" Hinata jumped "It tasted like a fluffy cloud Y/n!"

"She definitely needs to bring her food to the next school's festival." Kageyama added "Imagine how much attention your mom's bakery would get."

You bit your lip "You're not wrong about that..."

Hinata looked at his watch, his eyes widened. "We only have 15 minutes to practice before the other school get's here Kageyama!"

"You idiot! I told you we had to go!" he moved closer to kick his butt but Hinata managed to dodge his hit.

"Oh shut up! You were stuffying your face too!"

"Why am I friends with these two again?" you muttered.

"Come on pick up the pace y/n!" Hinata and Kageyama grabbed your hands and ran faster than your legs could move.

"G-guys!" you exclaimed "I-I'll end up falling─ slow down!" they were too focused on getting to practice than hear about your objections "If I break a bone I'm telling my mom to ban you from the shop!"

After a five minute run that was supposed to be ten, you finally arrived. Your legs felt like jelly and your sweater was long gone as your body was too sweaty. 'This was worse than a summer day...' you thought, 'I showered and got dressed so nicely only for it to be ruined by those two. Ugh they owe me big time.'

You slowly treaded towards the stairs of the gym, their teammates were too busy preparing to notice you. A sigh escaped your lips upon feeling the cool air coming from the a/c. "This... this is nice." you mumbled. "It feels like a cold freezer..."

"Um... hi." a voice spoke coming from behind you.

"You two are so banned..." you muttered under your breath. Slowly you turned around to come face with two guys. 'They must be their teammates.'

"Are you going to keep blocking the door or can we get through?" the tall guy with the glasses spoke.

"Tsuki." the shorter one mumbled.

"Well?" he stared you down, "We don't have all day."

'He must be the guy that Shoyo and Tobio went up against.' you thought.

"R-right... but you don't have to be so rude you know." you answered.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes walking passed you meanwhile his friend gave you an apologetic smile. "He's usually not mean." he chuckled slightly "Do you need help with something?"

"No... I came to see some friends. But they left me out on the front steps to get ready for your match today."

"Wait... are you really their friend?" he asked.

"If you're talking about the tall one and the ginger then yes." you chuckled, "They said it was fine for me to come today."

"Don't take this the wrong way but..." he scratched his cheek looking away from you, "I'm surprised they have a friend that's a girl, given the way that they are."

"No worries. I understand what you mean especially since we met in very different times." You two walked inside "I'm still surprised they are friends."

"Y/n!" looking to the left you saw Yachi jogging over to you. "Oh hey, Tadashi!"

"I should go warm up, it was nice meeting you!"

"You too Tadashi!"

She then spoke again, "What happened to you? Did you run all the way here?"

"Hinata and Kageyama were too busy stuffing their faces with my mom's pastries. By the time they actually listened to me it was too late and we had to run all the way here." you whined "Now I'm all covered in sweat and I feel disgusting."

"I told them not to get distracted." she sighed "Do you want to freshen up? I have an extra shirt in the club room."

"Really? Id really appreciate that."

"Come on we still have a few minutes before the whole team gets here."

Your feet were too tired to walk yet somehow you managed to go upstairs to the room. "I swear one day those two will be the death of me." you complained.

"Can you blame them? Your mom's sweets are too good." Yachi chuckled.

Shaking your head you went inside and washed your face along with your arms and back. "How are the two doing with their quick attack by the way?" you asked.

"They're getting there, although they still want to make sure it comes out perfect. Coach Ukai said they need to upgrade it or else it won't be enough to get past the blocker's hands."

You nodded, "There's no doubt in my mind they will make it work. From the videos you've sent me those two can work a miracle even if they end up fighting... their goals are the same."

"Oh right I was going to ask you..." Yachi continued "... how did it go with your guy by the way? Did he end up messaging you?"

Biting your lip, you put on the white clean shirt. "He did, he was so nervous and sweet. I apologized to him about what my mom did yet he said he didn't mind because he was nervous about talking to me." you giggled.

"Wait so your mom really did give him your phone number?!"

"She did! I wasn't expecting her to go that far." you answered "But it is kinda embarrasing how she had to do it for me though..."

"Nonesense!" she exclaimed "You just needed that little push well you both did. I'm sure he knows that especially since he took the time to message you."

It was difficult to hide the smile that kept creeping up on your face. "As cliche as it sounds... it really feels like a movie Yachi."

"You're barely at the talking stage but what if he asks you out on a date then to become something more. Are you ready to go that far?"

Closing the locker you turned to face her, "Not going to lie with everything that has happened... I feel scared to say yes. After what happened I never really thought someone would take an interest in me and that I'd feel the same way."

Yachi placed her hand on your shoulder, "It's been at least 4 four years I think it is time to enjoy a new adventure in your life. You may never know what might happen."

"Yeah, I know."

There was a knock on the door, "Hey! Yachi are you almost ready? Kiyoko said she needs your help setting up."

"Yeah! We'll be right there Sugawara!" she yelled back.

"Who's Sugawara?" you asked.

"Come on let's go meet the rest of the team that way it'll be easier." she chuckled taking your hand and walking back to the gym.

There were sudden butterflies in your stomach, although you knew your friends were part of the team, you couldn't but wonder if it was okay for you to come. All you wanted was to make a good impression for the team that gave your friends the opportunity to play.

As soon as she opened the door everyone turned their heads to look at you. Two memebers then ran over to you both making you jump back.

"A new girl!" they yelled in unison.

"She's so cute!" the shorter one exclaimed.

"You didn't tell us you had such a pretty friend Yachi!" the taller one added.

Yachi became flustered, "Ah! T-this is m-my friend! She came to w-watch the game today. Y/n this is Tanaka and Nishinoya."

Feeling embarrassed you gave them a nod, "It's nice to meet you guys."

"She's so adorable!" Tanaka exclaimed "I hope we get to see you around here more often."

"Oh... um sure, if you guys don't mind." you said.

"Where have you been all my life?!" Nishinoya's eyes widened not being able to handle how cute you looked.

"Oh Y/n!" Hinata then jogged over to you guys "Can you help us toss some balls?"

"Yeah let's go-" you went to follow Hinata only to be taken away in the opposite direction.

"You need to meet the whole team." Nishinoya held your hand dragging you over to what seemed to be the third years along with other members.

"Guys! This is Yachi's friend, Y/n! Y/n, this is Suga or Sugawara for short, Asahi, Tsukishima, Tadashi, and Ennoshita!"

You tried to hide your nervousness, "Hello! It's nice to meet you guys, thank you for letting my friends play."

Tsukishima stared at you with an uninterested look, while Tadashi smiled softly.

"How did you manage for Hinata and Kageyama to get along? They were at each other's throats." Sugawara chuckled.

"Well... let's just say it's still hasn't changed much." you rubbed the back of your head. "But we make it work."

"Are you also a first year?" Ennoshita asked.

"Mhm I had to change school's during the second semester." you answered. "Karasuno is my second school."

"Well welcome to the team, I apologize in advance if things get out of control." Sugawara said "They're usually..." he tried to put into words but you understood.

"No worries if I can handle those two I'm sure it won't bother me." you chuckled. "Is this the whole team?"

"We're only missing our captain." Asahi answered, "Where is he anyways?"

Tskushima shrugged "He said something about needing to find his knee pads."

"Anyway we should go get ready before the school shows up. Let's start to warm up." Sugawara said and everyone went off to do their own things. "If you want you can sit down besides Coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda."

"Oh okay." you then looked around "Do you need help with anything?"

"I think we should be good, can you help with picking up the volleyballs and putting them in that basket when the other team gets here?"

"Sure." you were about to grab the cart when you heard the door open again.

"Oh! Daichi come over here!" he yelled.

Your feet froze, the numbness you felt earlier in your legs returned. 'Please... don't be who I think it is...' you thought lowering your head, 'Oh my god what if he gets dissappointed?'

You tried to subtly fix your hair and tuck in the club room shirt. Sugawara noticed, "Are you okay─"

"What is it Suga?" Daichi asked as he walked over to where you both were.

"This is the friend that they were talking about, this is Y/n." he said smiling softly at you. "Daichi?"

You slowly lifted your head to come face to face with those loving brown eyes. Daichi was in the same state as you, shocked yet happy to finally see you.

"Are you alright?" Sugawara asked looking at him.

"Y-yeah..." he chuckled awkwardly "It should have been obvious right?"

Your face was hot, "Y-yeah, I shouldn't have been so dumb."

"You two know each other-"

"This is y/n... the one I've been telling you about." Daichi said.

"Oh...." Suga mumbled "So you're the one he can't stop rambling about." a smirked then formed on his lips.

You blushed, "W-what, really?"

"Suga!" Daichi exclaimed.

"I can't believe after all this time you two would end up meeting each other at school." he said.

"Yeah..." you chuckled lightly "I knew you played a sport but never thought you were my friend's captain."

"I didn't know if it sounded cool─" he admitted.

"Are you kidding?!" you exclaimed "It's amazing! Volleyball isn't an easy sport. The amount of people that depend on you to lead them, yet you still have their backs and know what to say" you smiled looking up at him. "It's admirable really."

Daichi rubbed the back of his head, shyly smiling "Thank you I try my best to keep them under control... but sometimes they don't bother to listen."

"I know how that feels."

Sugawara stood quiet watching you two converse as if you were the only ones. He wanted to say something to get Daichi all flustered but didn't have the heart to do so. 'I am sooo going to have fun with this.' he thought.

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Victor Valentine Card story ‘‘Seeking for what’s frightening’’

Translation of Victor Valentine’s 4* ‘’Gothic Halloween’’ card story from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.

Gray: Uwah, amazing… Did you make this, Victor-san…?

Victor: Yes, this robot was built by me. I’m occupied with pouring all my time into producing these for the upcoming Halloween League.

Gray:  I had assumed you were leaning more towards biochemistry… But to be able to build robots too, that’s seriously amazing...

Victor: As you thought my area of expertise is chemistry, however if I had to be honest, I barely have the confidence to manufacture these… 

Victor: And on top of it, I had been also struggling with the design itself...

Gray: Eh… Wondering if it has enough punch to it, you mean… I already think it’s scary enough as is though....

Victor: Adding that pinch of “scary” has been considerably difficult. I’ve been making these as requested by Marion, but as far as the details go, I’ve only received how it should be thematically based on “evil spirits of Halloween”.

Victor: Naturally I have referred to literature to form a general outline on the matter, but what traits resemble an “evil spirit”, about it having a factor of “spookiness” to it...  No matter how far I go with investigating the matter, I simply cannot draw the line where it’d be most suitable.

Gray: Like evil spirits… spookiness….

Victor: What is your impression of it, Gray? Do you think it’s able to represent those traits of an “evil spirit”?

Gray: Eh? Eeeh… uh, um…

Victor: Please do not hold yourself back, and be as candid as you can.

Gray: Be as candid as I can… Right, right...

Gray: Whether or not it looks like one, I can say that it’s absolutely close but… Um… on the contrary, it might actually be a bit too scary... 

Gray: H-how do I say this… It’s like originally you were going for CERO A but ended up heading towards CERO D instead…?

Victor: CERO……? What may that be?

Gray: Ah… awawah, sorry…. I used a game rating system for scale… a Japanese one too…

Gray: The Halloween League is an event that children will attend, in terms of gaming that would be for an event for all ages...

Gray: But, as of now it feels more that it’s heading towards a more mature audience… So I was thinking all like, how about aiming for a younger one instead~... but please don’t mind it too much...

Victor: Hmm, I see…That is very interesting, or I should rather say an intriguing point of view.

Victor: I will do as you said and make an attempt to aim for a younger demographic, however with how it has been currently going, I don’t quite have the grasp on what I should do to change it.

Victor: If you don’t mind, could you tell me more about video games for all ages to use as a reference point going forward?

Gray: !! O-ofcourse…!

-

Victor: Hooh.... Even though it’s shortly summed up as for all ages, there seems to be quite a variety of video games.

Gray: For now I kept it limited and looked up horror games that came to mind… You’d come across even more games if you were to look it up

Gray: Uuum… if you’re looking for a game that has enemies that are “evil spirit”-like, then maybe this one…?

Victor: Yes, that kind of caricature is good. It gives an impression closely resembling the ones in animation for children. 

Gray: P-personally I think it’s good if it’s as scary as these enemy characters here but… That is for you to decide...

Victor: Hmm…. If I were to judge from your perspective, would this be more scarier?

Gray: Eh? Yes… it, would be….?

Gray: I feel, that the difference is pretty obvious but… you don’t seem to think so, Victor-san?

Victor: Indeed. Even though we’re going in a different direction, I don’t feel that any of them are frightening, thus making it difficult to judge.

Gray: R-right…

Gray: Uh… I’m just asking this out of curiosity but… Is there, something that you’re scared of, Victor-san…?

Victor: Something that I’m scared of?

Gray: Ah, aaah, uuum, it’s just… it’s okay if it’s too hard to answer, or if you don’t want to! I suddenly asked something weird anyway, I’m sorry….

Victor: Fufu, what are you apologizing for? I don’t believe it was odd by any means.

Victor: Something I’m scared of… you ask? I haven’t played any video games before so on that matter I have nothing to say, and in regards to horror movies I don’t recall being frightened once. 

Gray: Eh… so you’re like, totally fine with ghosts and demons and all that…?

Victor: More that I don’t believe in such things due to my point of view as a scientist, rather than being fine with it.

Victor: Well, realistically speaking “Ghosts believing scientists” such as Nova are not too uncommon out there.

Victor: I do want to believe in the possibility of it… Unfortunately, I have yet to see a theory that justifies it to begin with. 

Gray: Wah… you’re amazing, Victor-san…. Makes me a bit embarrassed given how I accidentally believe in anything...

Victor: No, I wouldn’t say that I am. I do occasionally envy those who are able to simply enjoy horror movies as is.

Gray: Is that so…?

Victor: Do you have any issues when it comes to horror and occult, Gray?

Gray: Aah, no… I’ve built up a tolerance for it because of games that are full of it...

Gray: Besides, I think… humans are scarier than any ghost or demon, 100 times more scarier even….

Victor: Human themselves…. For example, such as Asch Albright?

Gray: !! Eh, eeeeh…. yes… His name alone makes me sweat bullets, weirdly enough...

Gray: But, not just A….sch, but I’m scared of coming in contact with other people in general...

Gray: Even before talking to them actually, like what if they hate me…. what if they think I’m weird… that’s all I end up thinking about

Victor: Which means that you are currently feeling the same sense of dread when talking to me this moment?

Gray: T-that’s right… Aaah, but, you’re not scary Victor-san… Um, it’s just...

Victor: Yes, I understand. I’ve mentioned it before, but I don’t believe there’s anything odd about you, Gray. 

Gray: V-Victor-san….!

Victor: My apologies for getting us sidetracked. Could you lend me your wisdom for a little longer? 

Gray: Ah, yes… yes of course!

--

Nova: Oooh, looks like you made a lotta progress~ Making ghouls and all♪

Victor: I was able to because of the advice I had received from Gray, and so I was finally able to see the light.

Nova: Good pals with Gray-kun now, eh? Well with Ren-kun too but, lately more people have been dropping by your lab. Lookit this celebrity here~♪

Victor: ...You’re surprisingly in a good mood today, aren’t you now?

Nova: Mmh, haven’t slept so I’m feeling somewhat all over the place

Nova: I’ve been absorbed into making these robots too, and before I knew it three whole days had passed~ That scared me real good, yanno

Nova: Wait a second, nobody came to see me in these three days….!? I wanna be a celeb tooooo~!

Victor: How about resting your mind and body, rather than dawdling around here?

Nova: Naaw~ The adrenaline’s coursing through my veins, not feeling tired in the slightest~ 

Nova: Whatever you say, making these robots is right where I belong. Had lotsa fun doing it too

Nova: Obviously I’m paying enough attention to safety and all that, but there’s more space to feel at ease compared to what I usually do for work….

Nova: Not that I’m forgetting substance research by any means, it’s just pretty nerve-racking when combined with making assets and tools for the heroes to fight with 

Nova: Didn’t mean to pay that much mind to it, still it’s a heavy responsibility to have one’s life in your hands... 

Nova: Makes me go all like, damn, this fear of failure and what to do about it sure is always growing ain’t it now!~ like some kinda realisation each time, yanno

Victor: ….., fear….

Nova: You’re always doing such a fantastic job, me~

Nova: A Summerfieldtastic job~....

Victor: …….

Nova: Eh, no response!? Here I was putting all my energy into being an idiot, and instead of straight manning me, you straight up ignore me!?

Victor: Aah, my apologies… There was something on my mind.

Victor: What did you say?

Nova: I-I didn’t say a word! Vic’s a dummy! I’m gonna go to my room and sleep! Good-NIGHT!!!

Victor: …..?

-

Fun trivia corner:

The Japanese game rating goes from CERO A to D, and Z. All ages would be CERO A, for 12 years old and above CERO B, for 15 years old and above CERO C, for 17 years old and above CERO D, and at last CERO Z for 18 and above. The European one is PEGI with age specific ratings (PEGI-3, or PEGI-18) and the American one is ESRB, with letter codes such as T for teen, M for mature, and so on. Helios is rated as 12+ on the Apple app store, that would be CERO A, PEGI-12 or ESRB T.

[bigskydreaming]

Alright a noob's question to a veteran fan, when do you think the blatant hatred for Dick started? I've heard from old, 50+ years old fans that he was the best, he was badass, better than Batman A lister. What changed? I know DC can't stand their legacy characters and they've always put abuse in their books, but I want to know about the fandom. When I joined I fell for the Tim Drake Best but Underrated Robin thing until I realized that was polar opposite of the truth. When did That start?

Okay, well it took me forever to get back to this ask and finish like I promised, but I kept my promise, huzzah! Long as fuck theorizing on this topic below:

So here’s the thing. I’ve been fucking around fandoms since the 90s, and I can 100% confirm that Everyone Hates Dick Grayson absolutely was not always a thing. Its a large part of WHY I’m so convinced that modern fandom is just fucking WEIRD about him, because like....I actively have something else to compare it to. I can absolutely remember what Bat fandom was like in regards to him back in the days of the Bludhaven yahoo group and squidge.org and other random URLs that mean absolutely nothing to 99% of you, lolol.

Like, there is very much, distinctly, DEFINITIVELY, a difference in how the majority of fandom views him and interacts with his character now, as opposed to like.....the first decade or so I was in fandoms.

And if I had to trace it back to a specific time period where there was like...an actual, visible sea change....the only thing I can come up with is around the Battle for the Cowl era, the start of the Morrison/Dickbats run. Not so coincidentally, this was the precise time I moved away from Batfam fandom after having pretty consistently being in it for a good ten years by then, BECAUSE there very clearly IMO was this change in how people were writing about Dick all of a sudden.

Like, there had been tensions building towards Dick’s character for awhile, probably ever since Jason’s return because like....in a sense, Dick’s too far removed from say, Tim, to be directly in competition with his character. What I mean is, there’s too little overlap in what people like about Tim and what people like about Dick for them to ever be like...a threat to each other’s fanbases in that respect, and push people to make a choice there. But with Dick and Jason, there’s enough overlap in them and what draws people to them - even just purely in terms of positioning within the Bat franchise, as an older Bat-sibling and former Robin that nevertheless is no longer Robin himself - that like....ever since Jason came back, you could start to see ‘fractures’ in how people viewed Dick. Because now there was another alternative to his character who occupied a similar......not sphere, but perhaps ‘level’ of the Batfamily franchise, and so people kinda started....picking sides, even though no actual sides had to be picked in the first place because its not actually a fucking competition.

And this isn’t to say the view of Dick in fandom and how he’s interacted with is the ‘fault’ of Jason’s return, not at all, just.....this is just me talking analytically, in terms of patterns and causality. Not trying to assign blame here, more just kinda explain the way it appeared to me anyway.

But then things all came to a head in the Battle for the Cowl era, and ignited stuff that had been lurking under the surface in SEVERAL different areas of fandom, and brought into direct conflict long-held assumptions and views and biases that had only never been in conflict before because they didn’t NEED to be in conflict before.

Basically, my Big Thesis about why fandom is the way it is about Dick, is that I feel its not so much that fans of other characters hate him, its that I think many of them RESENT him for very specific things and how those things like....make him a narrative obstacle to the kinds of stories they want to read and write about the Batfam specifically.

With the biggest examples here being Bruce fans, Jason fans and Tim fans.

See, my take is this:

1) I think a lot of Bruce fans resent Dick on some level because he’s actually the biggest obstacle standing in the way of the Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent view of things. As much as people have always liked to claim and take for granted that Dick is Bruce’s favorite or whatever, the truth is there is a far longer and far more VARIED history of Bruce and Dick being at odds than there is between Bruce and any other of his kids.

Essentially, in order to really sell Bruce as CONSISTENTLY being a good parent, regardless of what canon says or does at times.....DICK is the character you MOST have to rewrite or write around, change or ignore his stories, reframe his past interactions with Bruce in order to make this stick.

I know people are probably going “Umm what about Bruce and Jason though?” But the difference is, Bruce and Dick’s conflicts cover a lot more ground than Bruce and Jason’s. Its not that Bruce and Jason’s clashes aren’t epic and that Bruce’s behavior with Jason in stories like UTRH hasn’t been massively shitty....its that in terms of Bruce and Jason, these things are a lot more....confined, than they are with Bruce and Dick.

Basically, most of the major conflict between Bruce and Jason CAN be rewritten or avoided by simply addressing three or four definitive things: the Garzonas case and aftermath, Bruce’s actions/response in regards to the Joker killing Jason, Jason’s return and his wants and needs in regard to Bruce in UTRH, and Bruce’s view of Jason’s actions and ideology post his return.

None of these are small things by any means. But they are FINITE things. They’re concentrated into specific stories, specific areas of canon....and thus, more easily navigated around by anyone who wants to avoid engaging with these things in the form of Bruce being a shitty parent, and rewrite and reframe Bruce and Jason’s dynamic in the vein of Bruce is a Good Parent.

In contrast, with Dick and Bruce, to rewrite and reframe Bruce and Dick’s OVERALL dynamic in the vein of Bruce is a Good Parent......you’ve got a LOT more ground to cover.

There’s Bruce firing Dick as Robin, there’s Bruce not reaching out to Dick and being content to stay estranged from Dick for all the years they barely interacted, there’s the effect Bruce’s adopting Jason and making him Robin without a word to Dick in advance had on Dick, there’s Bruce still not using the conflict between them over that to make changes in how he interacted with Dick like say adopting him now, there’s Bruce’s actions and behavior towards Dick in the aftermath of Jason’s death, there’s Bruce’s inconsistent appearances in Dick’s stories in all the many times Dick very much needs help or comfort juxtaposed with Dick’s consistent appearances in Bruce’s stories any time he so much as calls him and asks him to show up due to the fact that canon writers can consistently be counted on to prioritize Bruce’s needs as more pressing than Dick’s needs, narratively speaking. There’s Bruce’s clear judgment of Dick in Last Laugh and failure to reach out and help Dick through its aftermath. There’s Bruce’s non-involvement in the extended greatest hits album that is one of the lowest periods of Dick’s life, encompassing Blockbuster, Tarantula and the destruction of Bludhaven, and Bruce’s non-helpful ‘fix’ in the wake of all that, which can be summed up as him yelling “suck it up, buddy.” And in the New 52 you’ve got Bruce’s shitty handling of the Court of Owls revelations and his treating the effect of these revelations on Dick as a total non-issue, there’s the aftermath of Forever Evil, there’s Bruce’s failure to say anything about why Dick went to Spyral even after seeing the effect it had on Dick’s relationships with the rest of his family, there’s the absolute disaster that was his handling of the Ric Grayson situation.....

See what I’m saying? Its not that Bruce doesn’t have plenty of fodder for being a shitty parent in stories with Jason, its just that the times and the ways he is are more isolated and contained, relatively speaking....thus more easily ‘treated’ by anyone who wants to FIX those parts of canon in order to realign it all in the framework of Bruce Wayne Is A Good Parent.

Its nowhere NEAR as easy to do that with Dick when you ACTUALLY engage with the full extent of how shittily Bruce has been written interacting with his eldest over the course of decades....

And so for fans of Bruce who very much WANT Bruce to be a good parent, that’s what they want to read, that’s what they want to write, that’s what they’re HERE for and stuff OUTSIDE that is stuff they (understandably) do not want to engage with....

This makes Dick actively an OBSTACLE to all of that. It makes him a Problem. Dick and his stories and his dynamics with Bruce, in order to truly align with Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, have to EXTENSIVELY be tackled and rewritten and reframed, and this is no easy feat or no small process.

And for fans of Bruce who are here for BRUCE first and foremost, not Dick, and who thus don’t want to and aren’t thrilled to be confronted with a need to PRIORITIZE him and his stories to such a large degree in order to ACTUALLY ‘fix’ canon - which for the record has nothing to do with Dick being more important of a character or anything to do with character preferences whatsoever, but rather is simply symptomatic of the ROLE Dick occupies in Bruce’s life, and is an extension of the fact that in any scenario in which Bruce Wayne Is A Good Parent, Dick, as his son, logically MUST be as much a priority at least some of the time as any other of his kids because THAT’S WHAT A GOOD PARENT DOES, HE MAKES HIS KIDS A PRIORITY.....

Like, its honestly understandable (even if thanks, I hate it) that people who really just WANT to focus on Bruce and his Good Parent-ness and don’t want to be forced into HAVING to make Dick and fixing or rewriting how Bruce has screwed up with him into a priority when writing fic that ultimately, for these fans, is still supposed to be ABOUT Bruce.....like, its not exactly rocket science, grasping how this could easily lead to people being even less keen on the guy, because he complicates so many stories they want to write without remotely being one of the characters they’re inspired to write in the first place.

So I mean, yeah. Dick very much became an object of resentment for a lot of Bruce fans, I think, for that reason specifically, and for the narrative obstacle he innately presents to anyone who just wants to write Good Parent Bruce and doesn’t want to have to write Bruce Actively Fixing His Mistakes With Dick in order to do so.

And again, this is pretty much JUST Dick in this particular role (especially as of the time I’m talking about) because much like how even though Bruce has his fuck-ups with Jason, they’re more finitely contained to specific narratives and TYPES of narratives....the same is true of Bruce’s interactions with his other kids. Yeah, he has his fuck-ups with them too, but again, they’re more isolated, more traceable back to singular sources and stories that are a lot more easily sidestepped and navigated around by anyone who just does not want to engage with Bruce Being a Bad Parent and the EFFECTS this has had on various of his kids throughout their stories as a result.

So you have this thing, about Dick, narratively speaking, not even a matter of character like or dislike. And its been there all along, slowly building story by story....

With it all coming to a head, I feel, in the Battle for the Cowl era, where Bruce is shuffled off-stage for a time, and REPLACED by Dick as Batman.....while at the same time Dick is cast in the same role of surrogate father figure to newcomer Damian, that Bruce was cast in with Dick when he and Dick were of similar ages to Dick and Damian now.

And Bruce was absolutely celebrated for how good he was with Dick back then - and with reason - BUT, I think this period with Dick and Damian, and the stories it told, brought front and center the fact and the awareness that it’d been a LONG TIME since Bruce was so uncritically celebrated for being a Good Parent, and with Dick specifically. And then additionally it made and kept front and center at this exact same time....people celebrating Dick for being a Good Parent (in essence) in much the way that they HADN’T celebrated Bruce for quite some time. And add to that the fact that Dick was doing this WHILE in the role of Batman himself, the same role Bruce had occupied in the parallel situation....so it made all this into a parallel that couldn’t easily be dismissed or discounted by saying things like “well Dick didn’t have the pressures of being Batman to deal with, being a good parent throughout all of this and STAYING that way would have been innately easier because of that.”

And thus....long-simmering resentment of the obstacle alleged favorite son Dick poses to actually writing Bruce Is A Good Parent content without significant revision or ommissions....ignited. With kinda the insult added to injury that now Dick was getting the same kind of praise and attention that these particular fans came to the franchise to see BRUCE be the focus and recipient of, not Dick.

2) At the same time, you have another large segment of fandom by this point, Jason’s fans. Or to be more accurate, you have a select but EXTREMELY vocal subset of Jason’s fans.....

Who come to Jason’s fandom with a very specific angle: they LIKE Jason as the misunderstood outcast of the Batfam, the black sheep alone and apart from the rest of the family who Just Don’t Get Him And Never Will, thus making him eternally sympathetic in this specific regard. But with that specific regard, in order to STAY eternal…..requiring that….nobody in the family gets him or cares or ever has really.

Thus once again, Dick just by the existence of him and his actual past dynamics with Jason, is a narrative obstacle to writing THIS specific narrative.

And so of course it had to be reframed and EMPHASIZED that Dick had always been a jerk to Jason, barely a brother, heck they barely even knew each other apparently - even when Jason came back and one of his first interactions with Dick post-Return was to clearly express that he’d always seen Dick as family, which very much does not mesh the idea that Jason and Dick barely knew each other or barely ever interacted before Jason died.

It also, of course, does not mesh with the idea that there’s nobody in the Batfamily who understands Jason, or is capable of seeing things his way instead of Bruce’s, or who cares enough to avenge him……because Last Laugh very much DOES exist, and puts the lie to all of that. Dick’s not only killed at least once (actually more than just once) and still remained fundamentally the same Dick Grayson he’s always been, but on top of that, it was the very person Jason desperately wanted to see dead as some kind of evidence, some sign that he had MATTERED to his family, that him being taken away from them hurt them enough that they felt driven to DO something about it, beyond the usual toss ‘em and lock ‘em.

Dick actually did that, ‘gave’ Jason what he wanted, and for the very same reasons Jason wanted it, to know that it was because of him, because of the loss of him, because he MATTERED and his absence HURT….and while of course, Dick was never the person Jason most wanted to see do that deed, want to see that evidence from….nonetheless, it very much does remain as significant evidence towards the fact that Jason mattered a great deal to Dick, enough even that having differing beliefs about killing would still be unlikely to ever stand between Dick having some kind of relationship with his returned-from-the-dead brother - because not only was it because of Jason (and Tim as well, admittedly, I’m not trying to gloss over the fact that he was part of the story and part of Dick’s motivation, this is just a matter of topical focus at the moment) not only was it actually BECAUSE of Jason that Dick crossed the line that so often he otherwise rigidly adheres to…it was never that realistic that Dick would judge and condemn Jason for killing, at least not by any narrative that took Last Laugh into consideration.

Because not only has Dick done the same thing himself, and MORE than wanted to do it on many other occasions as well thus he very clearly understands both the temptation and the arguments made for it…..BUT just as significantly IMO, is the AFTERMATH of Last Laugh. Where Dick very clearly was shown wrestling with and being affected by Bruce’s implicit judgment for what he’d done. Meaning not only was Dick never actually likely to condemn or judge Jason….he also is one of a handful of people most able to empathize with being judged or condemned by BRUCE for crossing that line. It never made sense or was realistic that there’d be this great divide between Dick and Jason after his return, that Dick was unable let alone unwilling to try and bridge, even for the sake of spending time with the brother he thought he’d never have a chance to spend time with again. 

(And yeah yeah, its not like he was embracing Jason with open arms in Brothers in Blood, but I maintain that had more to do with Jason’s approach than Dick innately being predisposed to being stand-offish with Jason. Like, when you announce yourself by impersonating your brother and getting him a rep as a manic killer being hunted by the police, instead of just like…ringing the doorbell, its kinda like, well, you may have to shoulder some of the blame here. Not to mention there still was the specter of what Jason had done to Dick’s other little brother Tim, with this still unaddressed between the two as of that time).

So yeah, for the above reasons and many more, Dick once again presents a narrative obstacle to a specific KIND of narrative that happens to be the one a lot of Jason’s fans most want to tell. The one where Jason sticks it to all his uptight family and rides off into the sunset with his NEW family, one that appreciates him and holds him in proper respect and positioning, the one where Jason will always be at least a somewhat tragic figure, forever apart from the family he does still very much love, because THEY can’t reconcile who and what HE is and believes.

Cuz once you take Last Laugh into consideration, AND add in Jason’s own words at the end of Brothers in Blood and the fact that they DIDN’T hate each other back when Jason was Robin, nor was it just one-sided on Dick’s end of things…..well, with all that taken into account, it becomes a lot trickier pulling off the above narrative, doesn’t it? When the in-character behavior of Dick according to THAT characterization of him would never accept any version of events where Jason was cast out for good (and yes, yes, RHATO and Bruce exiling Jason from the city, I know that in the New 52 that’s pretty much exactly what happened and Dick didn’t do anything about it, but he was kinda busy getting shot in the head right around that same time, so, y’know. That cuts into the ability to intervene on Jason’s behalf).

But basically, this is IMO why Last Laugh barely gets acknowledged by a lot of Jason’s fans, even though on the surface, you’d THINK its exactly the kind of story that would appeal to anyone who wanted, well, a story where someone in Jason’s family showed that they actually gave a damn the damn dumb clown still wasn’t dead. Its an in canon story that showcases and even highlights very clearly Jason’s place in that person’s family and memories, and the importance and weight with which he was regarded by that family member. Isn’t that exactly what Jason - and thus by extension his fans - have always wanted?

Well….yes, except it was the wrong family member. To have the weight, the significance that a lot of fans TRULY wanted from that story, from that outcome, it needed to be BRUCE that did it, not Dick. There’s no real place in that particular narrative or dynamic for an older brother who does actually give a damn. Like yeah, its great that Dick cared and all, but when its viewed as being more of an all or nothing situation, like, it has to play out with Bruce in that role and no one else, or it doesn’t count, doesn’t mean ENOUGH…..once again, this positions Dick to be more of a narrative obstacle to a certain (popular) kind of story than a benefit. 

And so Dick has to be repositioned, reframed, rewritten…..to be something and someone writers can actually work with when writing the kind of story where Bruce’s acknowledgment is the only one that ultimately matters. Him being likely to WANT to help and support Jason from an in-character standpoint, simply doesn’t help writers for whom this just becomes an unwanted plot complication that inherently bumps Dick a little higher up the Priority Ladder, because his status as a Rare Ally rather than Yet Another Antagonist pretty much inevitably paves the way for more screentime for his character, and again….he’s just not the character these writers want to write about (and yeah, again, this part is totally understandable), and they’re really just not interested in allotting him that much screentime, let alone a role that could feasibly steal focus at times from Jason, edge the narrative into being more of a co-lead than the single protagonist it was definitively intended to be.

So. Fandom subset number two is equally predisposed to resenting Dick simply for the narrative obstacle he presents to one of their preferred stories to tell - with again, this pretty much taking off right around the Dickbats era, fueled in no small part by Morrison’s shitty take on Jason, which, while I maintain it was Jason that was most out of character in all of that….DOES still very easily play into that take on him, where he’s misunderstood and eternally at odds with his family. 

And which also, I suspect, is why Morrison’s run tends to be weirdly popular with a lot of Jason fans who in most other places are quick to point out earmarks of Jason’s usual characterization that are entirely at odds with Morrison’s take on him, like that he’s extremely against the idea of younger sidekicks in general at this point (especially pre-Reboot), which uh, makes him taking on a younger sidekick a very….Strange Choice.

3) And then lastly we come to Tim, and a lot of his fans’ issues with Dick Grayson - which I think are heightened by a kind of feeling of betrayal that ties in here, and emphasizes the fact that just a year or two prior to Battle for the Cowl, most of these same fans would have sworn they loved Dick’s character and he was a great big brother to Tim.

See, the problem here, I think, lies in the fact that Tim is THE definitive Robin for an entire generation of readers. He’s who they see in the role every time they close their eyes, because he’s who’s always been in the role as far as they’re concerned. Back issues are just that - back issues. They’re about the history of Robin. But in the present, the here and now, for the solid twenty years or so before Battle for the Cowl, for all intents and purposes there really was only one Robin and it was uncontested that it was Tim.

And again, on a lot of levels I totally get this. I’m somewhat similar when it comes to Kyle Rayner and Green Lantern. Kyle was ‘my’ Green Lantern, the one I grew up with, the one starring in the stories that were current and ongoing for me as I aged. I was pissed as hell when they brought Hal Jordan back and he resumed being front and center in the GL franchise…..not because before this I’d had any real strong feelings about Hal one way or the other, outside of how I felt about him in the individual stories he popped up in…..but simply because Hal front and center happens to coincide with the starring GL of the solo title I personally would consider the definitive GL run….like….pretty much getting shoved offstage entirely, most of the time. I get that. It sucks.

Except that’s not QUITE the situation here.

Like the thing is, I do believe that for a lot of fans, Tim IS Robin and Robin IS Tim. That’s how its always been for them, that’s the way they like it, that’s how it should remain until his character is ready to launch into a new persona and identity of his own character’s volition. And its not like it was ever a secret that other Robins came before Tim, and that Dick was actually the creator of the mantle, the guy that all the other later Robins, including Tim, were literally the legacy OF. And its not like Dick wasn’t around in Tim’s stories, and wasn’t a familiar presence to Tim’s fans….its just that for almost twenty years, the WAY Dick appeared in Tim’s stories only added to them. There was no angle from which he took away from Tim’s stories, or the fact that they were Tim’s.

Like yes, he was a reminder that Tim was not the only Robin and never had been, that there were others with just as much claim to the title, if not more……but in a very background way. Not in any way that presented any kind of ‘threat’ to Tim’s actual status as Robin. Dick Grayson’s days as Robin were way in the past, and there was no real likelihood that they were ever going to put him back in that role, so his ‘claim’ to the Robin mantle was never at any point one that potentially contested Tim’s own. It was simply a non-issue. Instead, Dick’s status as the original Robin juxtaposed with his current roles of doting big brother and secondary mentor figure….like, at the time, this actually ADDED to Tim’s own wearing of the mantle. Dick’s presence was less a reminder that he was the one without whom the mantle wouldn’t even exist, and more just a kinda embodiment of the Robin LORE, the fact that Tim’s superhero mantle came with history and the prestige of past accomplishments accomplished by the Robin name, and the gravitas of the dangers and downsides that potentially came with the cape as well. It gave Tim an additional angle that even most of his friends and teammates in various books didn’t have, made him stand out even more. 

And it didn’t hurt that pretty much any time there was a guest appearance from Nightwing in Tim’s stories, he was firmly slotted in the supporting character role, there to help Tim but not overshadow Tim, to support him but not claim credit for Tim’s ultimate victory in any given story’s climax. And there weren’t many occasions when things went in reverse, where it was Tim guest-starring in Dick’s stories and thus him clearly slotted in the supporting character category, the B character role….simply because the older veteran hero needing to call upon his younger, comparatively inexperienced ally just was never as likely - and thus, occurring as often - a story as one where the younger, relatively new hero calls upon his more experienced predecessor for help or even just some advice or someone to listen to whatever was troubling the younger hero at the time.

Thus there’s the additional angle where for almost two decades, Dick Grayson’s presence in a Tim Drake narrative was for one reason and one reason only - to support Tim in whatever endeavor he was in the middle of, and to be what Tim needed, when Tim needed.

But then of course, once again we reach Battle for the Cowl….and all of that gets upended, not even because of Dick making Damian Robin per se, IMO…..to me, its always felt like the bigger issue has always been many of Tim’s fans resenting just….the reminder, the newly centered awareness that no matter how long Tim had been THEIR Robin, he wasn’t the only Robin and never had been….and that supportive, helpful older brother whose presence had previously only added to Tim’s stories and their weight, never threatened anything that was ‘his’ narratively speaking…..not only did he also have a claim to the Robin title, he has literally the biggest claim possible, the one none of the others can match due to the mere fact that they are quite literally HIS legacy characters.

Which, not at all incidentally, is IMO the reason a lot of Tim fans are so vocal about dismissing or minimizing the impression/association of Robin with Dick’s first family. Always quick to emphasize that it being his mother’s nickname for Dick was a later addition to the canon, because it ties Dick to the Robin mantle in a way none of the others ever will be. But of course, like I’ve always maintained…that’s besides the point. Whether or not Dick named himself Robin because it was a cherished nickname, because he was a fan of Robin Hood, or for any other reason, its still equally true that he’s the creator of the mantle, plain and simple. It doesn’t exist without him, it was his aims, his intentions, his DEEDS back when he wore the (clearly circus themed and inspired, no matter what else is said about the name’s origin BUT I DIGRESS) costume originally…..like, those are literally what Robin WAS because they were what Dick created Robin to be. It was only something for others to take up later, let alone to even WANT to take up, with it coming with a weight of history and past heroics that later Robins were proud to embrace….all of that’s only because of what Dick imbued the mantle with in the eyes of the world, not to mention his own successors….via what he DID in the costume, while wearing it, coupled with the fact that there’d never really been anything like him before, a kid kicking bad guy ass alongside the more intimidating specter of his mentor.

Dick being the first Robin isn’t just a matter of linear progression, like its not just a matter of him EXISTING ahead of the others ‘in line,’ so to speak. Rather, being the first Robin is a matter of…..its literally HIM and HIS actions that every later Robin is the LEGACY of. He’s the SOURCE of the legacy. And you can’t really go…’how dare the guy I’m literally part of the legacy of, like, think he has the right to decide what happens with the mantle he and he alone created, long before I ever came along’…I mean….y’know? Boiled down to that, that doesn’t really….work, like its pretty plainly evident why the originator of a legacy mantle would think its his place to be the definitive voice on what’s done with his own damned legacy. Regardless of why he named it what he did and what specific associations the name had for him originally.

But there’s always been a determined focus on kinda…..shifting attention away from the question of who actually DOES have the right to say who wears the Robin mantle and when, because I think there is generally an awareness that like….Dick wasn’t out of line to think that his own damn creation was his to give in the name of adding to their circle of family, the same way as it did twice before. Its not that there’s NO angle from which even Tim’s fans might admit that who created a legacy matters in the question of who gets to decide who carries that legacy next. Its more that like….just the reminder, the newly centered awareness that yes, Tim is not the only claimant to the Robin title and never was, like…I think that grates a lot of people, tbh. 

It may have been something that there was always SOME awareness of, the whole time, but previously it was in a way that was supposed to be ancient history, not something that could ever end up ‘taking away’ something they strongly identified with being Tim’s and Tim’s alone. Especially when the character suddenly exerting a prior or greater claim on that mantle just so happens to be one that a lot of Tim’s longtime fans had long-since internalized as being part of TIM’S supporting cast, not another protagonist in his own right, one whose decisions could have a shaping effect on Tim’s narrative rather than the other way around, the way it felt like ‘its supposed to go.’

And bringing it back to the overlap with the first two fandom impressions I talked about, I think again, yeah, this resulted in a kind of resentment of Dick’s character and the narrative obstacle he presents to…..well, keeping Robin associated with Tim and Tim alone, practically speaking. Its not so much giving Robin to Damian in the first place that’s the problem, its the fact that he COULD. That within the actual canon narrative, this was acknowledged and supported as something that ultimately, Dick did have the right to do whether individual characters liked it or not, and no, that didn’t make him the same as Bruce when he’d taken it from Dick originally (assuming they acknowledge that version of the story at all in the first place).

Because due to the fact that its not something NEW that was introduced to the story that led to Dick being ABLE to do this, but rather just him choosing to exert an option he’d had the entire time and just previously chosen not to use……inevitably, this creates a slight shift in the framing and context of even previously consumed stories. Suddenly Dick’s presence in many of those previous stories ISN’T incidental, because now they couldn’t help but be viewed through the lens of….remembering what had been kinda hand-waved away as inconsequential the entire time Tim was Robin. The fact that ultimately, Tim was only Robin because Dick endorsed him. That if Dick could give Robin to Damian later, then Dick COULD have, by the exact same token, the exact same claim and association with the mantle he’d been the one to create….he could have stuck by his initial stance, which was that Robin died with Jason. 

In all fairness, as I’ve said many times before, this NEVER had anything to do with whether or not Tim became Bruce’s PARTNER, specifically. I’ve never been of the opinion that even Dick’s status as the originator of Robin had nothing to do with who ended up Bruce’s PARTNER after him - that was always going to be between Bruce and that person, and no one else. But whether, as that partner, Tim went by the name Robin….with everything it embodied and signified and carried with it already….that, yes, Dick had always had the option of saying no, I’m not okay with this, I do not give you permission to wear the SPECIFIC mantle I created, what my brother died wearing.

I mean, granted, Bruce and Tim could have done what they wanted anyway, but much like people try and dismiss or invalidate the version of events where Bruce fired Dick as Robin and stripped him of the mantle precisely BECAUSE there’s no real way to go with that version and NOT get that Bruce looks like a douche in it one way or another, simply because that was never his to take….like, same deal here. They could have powered on without Dick’s approval of someone else wearing the Robin costume, but ignoring the wishes of a mantle’s creator, to let it rest given that someone had literally died carrying that very same legacy, HIS legacy….like, that was never going to look good and would have stained pretty much Tim’s entire career as Robin.

So yeah, I think the third corner of this Isosceles of Suck is that I do believe on some level, a lot of Tim fans resent Dick’s character simply for where and in what ways it exists in any and all Robin narratives…..as the one who ultimately CAN NOT be overlooked as inconsequential, because its literally HIS legacy that Tim and all other Robins took PRIDE in embracing. And everything with Damian simply hammered that point home and made it front and center and impossible to avoid confronting, no matter how much a long time fan wanted Robin to belong to and be associated with Tim and Tim only…..with the ironic part being that I truly do GET why this would bug….because again, if you’re here for Tim, if its his stories you want to read and write, if HE’S the one you’re a fan of, and if for whatever reason you just don’t like Dick Grayson all that much even if you don’t actually hate him…..

Yeah, its likely going to lead to resentment if you yourself feel, purely from a narrative standpoint, like….’pressured’ to write Dick being afforded more respect or importance in the other characters’ eyes than you personally feel like writing. But that its hard to avoid or becomes something you actively have to write AROUND any time your own story backs you into a corner where the origins of Robin are directly relevant to the plot, and logistically, and given there’s really no plausible angle from which Tim would have embraced or taken up (let alone taken pride in) a legacy belonging to someone he DIDN’T look up to or view as worthy of respect….like…in this kind of specific plot tangle, it could very easily feel like if you want to keep things feeling in-character, you have no CHOICE but to have Tim talk up or speak positively of a character who, if it were up to you, would never command that kind of respect from Tim, a character you happen to think is just plain better than the one you feel like your story is MAKING you say is so great. Bam. Once again, you got yourself a recipe for Instant Resentment Ramen.

(Again, not at all incidentally, I think the above also has a lot to do with the pretty prevalent trend in Tim-centric stories of having him pretty much ONLY fixate or focus on Jason’s time as Robin, citing him as ‘Tim’s Robin,’ not just as like, a preference but almost to the exclusion of Tim having ever had any kind of interest in, let alone appreciation/respect for, Dick’s version of Robin before Jason stepped into the role. A lot of people would rather the respect/admiration that would normally be afforded by any legacy hero to the person whose legacy they’ve chosen to carry, like, go solely to Jason instead of Dick, just because they like him better and would rather Tim was just his successor, no one else’s.)

And with all three of these angles/elements coming to a head at the exact same place and time in the comic books and fandom……it IMO created kinda the perfect storm right around the Dickbats era, where suddenly all these totally disparate sections of fandom all felt weirdly in agreement on one thing and one thing only….Dick Grayson was really just kinda bugging them, and what’s so great about that dude anyway?

And from there I think they all kinda just fed into each other and grew exponentially, with the individual ‘workarounds’ used by each other characters’ fans to get around the narrative obstacle that Dick represented, like…..I think these all became so prevalent and widespread throughout fandom because even these totally separate corners of fandom that had very little else they agreed on, were more than happy to take each other’s ‘rewrite’ of Dick and his place/depiction in the overall narratives and canon and just run with it….because not at all coincidentally, each other ‘group’s’ revisionist take on Dick Grayson made their own even easier to sell within their own stories. And thus you also ended up with correlating trends like Jason and Tim being besties and bonding over their resentment of Dick, because why not, both their fanon narratives now predominantly shared the same deliberately unappealing depictions of their eldest brother.

With the New 52 and post-reboot storylines then doing absolutely NOTHING to negate or derail all of the above, but rather just reinforcing all of it. Because as Bruce kept being written behaving worse and worse with his children, including Dick, it only added to and expanded upon the problems Bruce’s fans already have with Dick’s character, even if just in terms of how big a plot/characterization obstacle he presents for the stories they want to write. 

Just as the way Lobdell wrote Jason equally fed into and built upon the issues a lot of Jason’s fans have with Dick’s character and the tangle he creates for a number of stories. And then with the frequent conflicts over how two of the characters Dick’s historically been closest with had been practically cut and pasted from Dick’s stories and history into Jason’s stories and history instead, like, that just threw more fuel on the fire, particularly when it happened to ignite defensiveness among fans of the Roy/Jason/Kory trio who additionally resented having to defend their usage/embrace of a trio that canon threw together, not them, that they just happened to like. And that in turn hardly making them any less predisposed to resenting how complicated Dick’s character makes things for certain key narratives. 

And then lastly, DC’s just complete and total fuckery with Tim’s character in the New 52 as a whole, but specifically in his issues with trying out various personas post-Robin but never finding/creating anything with a truly firm sense of its own identity, the way Dick has Nightwing and Jason has Red Hood, and thus give fans of both characters no REASON to mourn the loss of Robin or wish for them to go back to it….whereas without ever settling into something similar, that was both strongly and uniquely Tim Drake in premise and execution, there was no reason for his fans NOT to begrudge the loss of the Robin mantle and wish for him to go back to it/to have never left it, at least not until he’d found that other persona to actually ‘graduate’ into.

Phew. *wipes brow*

Anyway, that’s my big theory on why fandom as a whole is the way it is about Dick’s canon vs fanon. Am I right? Probably not completely, and even if I am its not like this is universal or that there aren’t other reasons for why fans engage with Dick’s character in the ways they do, including but not limited to “I just don’t like the guy, so what.” And its not like there’s any way to know for sure, or to get a sense of how much of fandom this theory IS on the right track with, at least in some ways. But overall, I do think there’s at least some of the above present in various ‘parts’ of fandom or with various specific fanon trends. *Shrugs* YMMV though.

[ohnobjyx]

I've seen so many sol0 fans or just people that have watched cql and cares for the cast, talking about how they feel that bjyx is something one sided and unrequited. some comments about how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it. Sometimes I do think xz is more reserved and seems to try to "tame" yb to be more discreet about their, whatever it is, thing but i don't particularly think he is cold? What do you think?

I know it may sound odd but is there some analysis about Xiao feelings towards Yibo? I mean this guy is head over heels for him, no doubt about that but I don’t really feel the same from Xiao? I mean I could be wrong since I’m new there and didn’t read a lot of analysis so if you have some can you link them please? Thank you! And I don’t ask this in a « wrong » way like I genuinely feel like there’s something but I don’t see the same feelings towards each other. Again, I could be wrong! 

Hi, anons. These asks has been sitting for the longest time in my inbox, so I decided to tackle them today (still writing two days later, I’ve desisted on creating a more organized post and I’m just dumping my thoughts here this time).

(It’s also that I’m frustrated about this, because these are two of the most polite ones, but I’ve also received others less well worded ones, that basically imply that there’s nothing from gg).

For the anon asking for some analysis, I’ll leave a link here to a post that basically sums up my own thoughts.

Disclaimer: as always, don’t take bjyx seriously. Pure speculation here.

Long post.

Before I start, I want to say that I shouldn’t be the one to convince you to anything. It’s never my intention to impart the “universal truth” or to be patronising. If any of you really feels that there’s nothing from gg, no matter what I say, you won’t be convinced by my post alone. And it’s alright to agree to disagree. Just keep it in mind.

I feel that what anons describe it’s something that often happens to new bxg. Dd’s so obvious, so painfully obvious that in comparison, gg is much more “discreet” (well, we had to learn to read Lan Wangji’s expressions, didn’t we? The same happens with gg’s gestures). I don’t agree with the idea of dismissing someone’s love just because they aren’t as obvious and as telling as their partner at first glance (gg’s songs and drawings aren’t as straightforward, but they are there for those who care to listen and see).

From my pov, I think it’s very very probable that they are together. So, that works both ways for me. I don’t think dd’s love unrequited. They take care of each other in ways that speak of a high level of trust, intimacy and chemistry (yes, I initially wrote that post for these asks). I’ve talked about subtle ways to display your love, because when you love someone it’s difficult to hide it, and gg has a hard time trying to hide for the cameras.

(I’m still thinking of Happy Camp, when dd hurt his neck with the necklace... gg’s reaction wasn’t controlled in the slightest, and the combination of worry and anger would be a interesting combo if gg indeed wasn’t anything to dd or if he hadn’t gifted him the necklace).

Gg often has a hard time controlling his reactions when dd is involved. He’s much more natural, a lot closer to how he really is instead of his very polite and soft public persona. He get a glimpse of him in the bts (I suppose they never expected CQL to be so popular, and didn’t thought that the bts would be so watched a year afterwards), and comparing how he is in the bts with dd to how he usually is in other interviews and events with other people is a very interesting exercise.

It’s true that gg in the interviews seemed to try to hold back dd, to the point that they both lied sometimes in the interviews... the effect they caused was contrary to what they wanted. Definitely. Because they tended to forget what they had lied about, and the “plot” had holes everywhere. Like gg reacting surprised to the possibility of dd starting a fashion brand. Twice. In the same day. Or the eggplant/carrots thing. Or the “I didn’t know you slept with the lights on, but I’m aware of your sleeping pattern” thing. Please note that these three plot holes were caused by gg (in the second case, I’m refering to carrots ofc).

About what the first anon says of “how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it”. It’s one thing that by then they’d have noticed that their cp had attracted a whole lot more attention that they had ever expected it to and a whole another thing to “indulge” someone (as if only dd wanted it and gg had nothing to say about it) and “not be very happy about it”. Gg might have tried, but even he couldn’t completely erase all of the little moments directed at dd (and you have to take into account that gg was actually sick in the last fan meeting in Nanjing, that’s bound to affect his mood too).

(There’s no one else when they look at each other. No wonder Wen Ning achieved such a third wheel look when they were filming the boat scene, I suppose it’s taken from real life).

How gg looks at dd and only smirks when dd looks up... well, gg still makes his best effort at being discreet...

And dd in this moment... well, what can one do when a man like gg looks at you like that? (dd.exe has stopped working. Please restart).

Source of the gifs: 仙娱

Last but not least, I’d like to talk a little about W/ibo Night, the main source of many people’s doubts. I’ve seen many analysis, from “poor puppy dd following gg around” (that’s... bs) to some better analysis that deserve to be taken into account.

W/ibo Night is an event organized by a state controlled social media platform. It’s one of the most observed events of the years, with potential future employers and coworkers, apart from the government, so it’s not just them, but everyone is very serious and controlled in their actions.

They obviously had agreed beforehand on how to behave in this one. While dd is very serious, he doesn’t seem angry or sad that gg isn’t looking his way. However, they both can’t help but look in each other’s direction (gg’s more discreet, but pay attention and you’ll see him side glancing at dd at least three times on stage) and the way dd turns just so he can have a look at gg is... 🤦

They tried so hard that it ended up getting the effect they wanted to avoid: when everybody else was greeting each other (friendly hadshakes, patting their backs, etc.) these two just stood there, a little awkwardly. It became obvious to most people that they were acting as if they were strangers.

I think (speculation here) that while they had agreed to act as if they didn’t know each other, gg was... off that night. His eyes were very bright (as if teary, so not in a good way) and his smiles were tense, so I’d say in a bad mood or maybe he was feeling under the weather. I think dd was worried, so that’s why he kept glancing at him (I’ve read about the rumours of why gg was like that, but I tend to dismiss them if there’s no proof).

For someone as polite as gg, to walk so obviously in front of dd when they were getting on stage (c-culture here: the one who walks in front has more seniority/authority, so gg always lets the other people walk in front of him as a sign of politeness and respect), speaks of a familiarity that exceeds that of coworkers. Dd’s actions need no more words: waiting for gg and letting him walk in front comes naturally to him.

Choosing fans (though at first, dd just looks at gg choose his). I don’t know if you remember, but gg chose “I can do it” and dd chose “I have it difficult” (as a way of saying “I can’t”). I think it was entirely a coincidence, because dd was looking at his gg choosing his fan, the one he had wanted at first was taken by another person, so he chose this one as “I couldn’t take the fan I wanted” and “it’s difficult for me to choose”.

However, look at the happy and surprised smile from gg when he notices that his fan and dd’s make a pair (similar to “yes” and “no”, gg had filmed an ad for the event in which he linked this two exact phrases as opposites). A sad spoiler: this is the only time he truly, spontaneously smiles at the event (and notice how dd’s face inmediately mirrors gg’s and how he tries to rein it in a second later). 

I couldn’t find a video, but just before leaving the stage, dd looks at gg again and shakes his fan. Without a single word, gg understands that dd is asking from where to leave the stage, and makes the slightest movement with his fan to point the way. I assure you, this level of 默契 (mo qi) is difficult to find even in established long time relationships.

Once they are seated, gg leaves for a second and tells dd “I’m leaving” and dd answers “okay”. There’d be no need for this interaction unless they’re still friends/couple.

This one broke my heart a little: dd had been sitting on a plastic bottle the whole time. Usually gg clears his seat when dd comes (Nanjing fan meeting, Tencent awards night), probably because he has noticed that dd doesn’t care that he’s sitting on things. Dd left earlier the event because of his schedule, and once gg came back from getting his w/ibo king award, he sits on dd’s seat. And notices the water bottle under him. Even his poker face can’t hide the sad fondness “aiyo this boy...”

Some say he sat in the seat next to dd’s, but there’s a video I can’t seem to find (the despair is real) of gg sitting on the water bottle, so it’s indeed dd’s seat.

Also, you may try to think this from your own perspective: when and why would you sit in another person’s seat in an event as important as this one? If I try to answer this from my pov, I’d say that first I’d need to know that that person wouldn’t mind me sitting there and/or knowing that this person isn’t going to come back to the event. In both cases, it requires communication and trust between these two people. Gg had to know that dd was leaving first (and why would dd tell gg if not because they chat about their work schedules?) and that dd wouldn’t mind once the fancams made it to social media. This is what I think, at least.

Okay, so here ends my post. I just exposed some of my thoughts on why I think yizhan is NOT one sided or unrequited. But of course, you’re allowed to disagree with me, anons, since we are all in the speculation ground here. Nonetheless, note that this is a yizhan/bjyx blog, which implies (at least for me) that there are feelings from both sides, so I may not interact further with one-sided yizhan/bjyx asks.

(BTW, I found a very complete post of moments where yizhan isn’t one sided here, so I decided not to elaborate on those moments in this post).

[the-lighwood-who-lived]

How Times Change

KIND OF A PART 2 OF “WHERE’S THE FUN WITHOUT A LITTLE BIT OF RISK” BUT TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE EVEN OTHERWISE. harry potter image

SUMMARY: An image about the life of the reader and harry, 18 years post the war. A family reunion kinda thing.

Y/N POV

I sat by at home waiting for the boys to return. Harry and Draco were on a rather simple mission. But that didn’t put my nerves down, we’re Aurors, no mission is ever safe. I sat in the dim light, drowning in my doubts and fears when I heard the front door lock click. I rushed to the front door only to throw my self on Harry. Once I was sure he wasn’t fatally wounded, which is rather a hobby of his, I shared the same hug with Draco. “We’re okay y/n, we’re not kids anymore”, said Draco, sharing a smirk with Harry. Before I could retort, I heard a crash upstairs followed by three people squealing.

Harry and Draco snicker while I turn to them glaring. They both cover their ears as they know what was coming. “JAMES SIRIUS POTTER YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” I yelled. He was down in a matter of seconds, followed by his little brother and sister. Harry and Draco were still snickering. “Harry! Would you at least ask this mischievous lot what they were doing?” I asked getting annoyed.

Seeing my annoyance, Harry and Draco looked at each other before clearing their throat and putting on their big boy faces. “Right, um, James, what were u doing upstairs?” asked Harry. “Nothing” said James and albus in unison, a little too quickly for my liking. Harry looked at me and shrugged. Draco laughed a bit at his attempt before trying for himself.  “Lily darling, what were your brothers doing?” Draco asked in a voice I had only seen him use on the kids and myself, when I was a kid. 

The 7-yr-old replied as best she could with her front tooth missing. “James wash trying a spell to turn some water into juice and Albus was helping him. They blew up Albus’s study table. They told me they would prank me if I tell you Uncle Draco.” She managed, hiding behind Draco’s leg to avoid her brothers.

Draco picks Lily up and heads to the dining area, since today was family dinner day. Hermione and Ron would be arriving soon. I turned to the boys and said, “Just for this, both of you don’t get to go to your dad’s office this weekend. We’re going skip directly to Lily’s turn. Now go get ready to use the floo network to your uncle Bill and aunty Fleur’s house.” I say in a tone that implies there would be no further discussion. The two ran off the moment I was done. I turned to Harry; he had a soft smile on his face. He bent down with intentions to kiss me, but the doorbell rang just then. Harry groaned out loud. I opened the door to find my best friend and her husband at the door. “Hermione!!” I squeal hugging her while Harry rushed to Ron, “Oh hi Ron” I add. “Gee thanks y/n, I feel so welcomed!” says Ron with playful sarcasm while hugging me. I see another tall figure behind them, only jump on him when I realize its George. “Your finally back!” I murmur while still holding onto him. He had been so busy with his goal to open 103 outlets of his shop; I hardly see him anymore. It’s been almost 6 months since I last saw him. Him… just him… it’s been 18 years, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. He seemed tired, carrying the weight of what used to be ‘theirs’ ‘now all by himself. Harry welcomed them in as I got the floo powder for the kids. Once we were near the fireplace, Draco knelt down in front of the boys and said, “Now boys, all this is fun and games, but when you’re not with us, you have to take care of your little sister. She still needs someone to hold her hand, okay? You may not be on good terms now, but if she is not with you, you’ll realize how much you love her…”. He said the last part looking at me, I smiled at him. I stopped being a Malfoy the moment I became a Gryffindor, Hermione let me take up the name Granger after that... and I’ve kind of stuck with it. Listening to him advice the kids now… He’s grown so much. We all have, but a day doesn’t go by without our past’s haunting us.

-----------time skip---------

Harry POV

We were digging into dessert while Hermione suddenly said, “How’s Astoria Draco? I haven’t seen her in so long.” Draco choked on his apple custard. “Oh... um... she’s staying at her parents for a while, so I thought I’d stay here with my little sister for a while.” He said, trying to regain his composure. Y/N snorted. I could see Draco pleading y/n with his eyes so as to not tell them. To be honest, I don’t want her to either. She decided to announce anyways!

Y/N POV

“Sure…. That’s what she wanted…” I said between laughs. Hermione looks at me confused while Ron and George had a mischievous curiousness on their faces. I smirked before saying, “To sum it up, after the ministry’s annual celebration last week, I opened the door to find my husband and my dear cousin drunk. They decided they wanted to dress up like they did in the 18 hundreds. Astoria literally kicked him out for turning up at home drunk at 4am.”. Ron and George looked disappointed. “That isn’t so bad” said George. “Oh but it was… it was his anniversary” I said laughing. Draco physically face-palmed himself while Ron, George and Hermione burst out laughing. How times change…In that moment, one would never see how broken this family actually is, there’s a new sense of hope in all of us that hides our despair. I can only pray that it’ll last until the end of times.

“This is why I invite only Harry to game night Y/N!” yelled Draco.

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Nowhere to Run by  GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s

The song referenced in this chapter is “We are Glass” by Thompson Square. You can hear the song here:

It’s a beautiful song and I felt it really summed up the characters in this story.

Chapter 10: We are Glass

Killian spent the next couple of weeks recovering in the hospital. He asked Robin to stay at his place to keep an eye on Emma and Henry, yet Emma spent most of her time next to his bed side when she wasn’t sitting in the corner of the room with Henry on her lap, teaching him his school lessons.

She told him how she had been teaching Henry everything she could while they were on the run. He could read and write, knew his arithmetic, and was an excellent artist. He found that even when he was tired, he would spend his time watching the two with reverence. Emma was a patient mother, but Henry was also an exceptional child.

“Did it hurt when you got shot?” The boy mused as he sat on the end of his bed, peeking up from between the cards in his hands.

“Aye. I would say it was pretty painful. Go fish, by the way.” He paused. “But the pain was replaced quickly by a sense of numbness, I guess, so I didn’t feel it long.” He stretched restlessly, looking down at his cards. “Have any 3’s?”

The boy narrowed his eyes, looking through his cards. “Go fish.” He smirked. “Do you think my dad is going to get out of prison and come after us again?”

Killian placed his cards against his chest. “I don’t think so lad. He’s going to have a trial. He has that right. The state will present its evidence, and he’ll face any consequences that he’s found guilty of. But you don’t have to worry, Henry. Even if he does get out, he’ll never get near you or your mom again.”

“But what about you? Who’s going to protect you?”

“Well, I’ve got Captain Nolan, and my partner Robin. Will and Belle…”

“And mom and me.” He said proudly.

Killian’s heart swelled. “You’d protect me? I’m honored.”

“Is Rogers ok?” His nose scrunched in worry.

“He’s staying with Will. He’s not a young pup anymore, so the old boy needed a lot of help getting better. But when they finally let me out of here, he’s gonna come back and live with me.”

“Will me and mom live with you?”

Killian swallowed nervously. He and Emma hadn’t talked about the future yet. There was still so much for them to resolve. Ten years was a long time to be apart, especially when the last time they had seen each other they were not in a good place.

“Your mom and I have a lot to talk about still.”

“Are you really married to my mom?” Continuing his barrage of questions.

He sighed. “Aye.”

“That must have been weird having her gone for ten years then. I bet you missed her.”

“More than all the stars in the world.”

“She used to tell me stories about you.” The boy said, his eyes wide as saucers.

“Did she now?” He mused.

“Sometimes you were a cop fighting bad guys, other times you were a swashbuckling pirate searching for treasure, and sometimes you were a Lieutenant in the Royal Navy sailing off on a ship to save the princess. Mom tells the best stories, but they were always about you.”

Killian’s eyes glassed over, bending his head to reach up and swipe at his face. “Your mother has quite the imagination, but I’m happy to be able to oblige for your entertainment.”

“Who’s hungry?” Emma’s voice filled the room as she came carrying a tray of food and drinks. “The doc says you are off your diet.”

Killian groaned happily as she sat the hamburger down on the tray in front of him. The first real food he would get to eat in weeks. He bit into the burger immediately, moaning loudly as soon as he tasted the meat on his tongue. Emma was staring at him, her mouth slightly agape. “Wut?” He said between chews.

“Nothing.” She said with an embarrassing glance away from him, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red. At least he still had some sort of effect on her, he thought.

“How did the call with Liam go?” She sat down in the chair next to him, pulling a grilled cheese sandwich into her hands.

“He was happy to hear that Neal is behind bars. He’s going to come visit soon when the girls are on holiday. He wanted me to tell you how gutted he was knowing everything you’ve been through.”

She shrugged, something she did often when he mentioned her past with Neal. “It will be nice to see him again. The girls must be so big now.”

“Aye. Twelve and sixteen now. He has his hands full for sure.”

She took a bite of her sandwich, watching Henry coloring at the end of Killian’s bed. “He’s not bothering you is he?”

“We were just playing a game of Go Fish. I think he cheats.” He whispered loudly, earning a complaint from Henry. Emma let out a pleasant laugh, something he was happy to earn from her.

“Doctor says you might get out of here tomorrow.”

“That’s my hope as well. I can’t wait to see Rogers.”

“I’m glad he’s alright. The old boy’s a survivor.” Emma mused.

“Aye, that he is.”

“I made an appointment for Henry and I to go see Dr. Hopper next week.” She said with a sad smile. “Figured I might need to talk through some things before we have to face Neal again at trial.”

“Hop’s a good man.”

“You know him?”

“Aye.” He nodded, not wanting to get into the fact that he knew him because he had been his patient, after Emma had left, when the world crumbled at his feet.

“I’ve been looking for a place to stay once you get released from the hospital. I know you’re going to need your bed to recover.”

Killian bit his lip. He knew they needed to discuss this. He didn’t want her to leave, but he also knew that they had a lot to work through if they were going to ever find their way back to each other. If she still wanted that.

“I can talk to Will. He had a vacancy across the hall from him a couple of weeks ago.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

“Emma…”

“Hey there.” Killian stared at Emma’s face as David entered the room. “How ya feeling?” He turned, facing his boss.

“Doing great, going home tomorrow, I’ll be back on the streets before you know it.” He grinned cheekily.

“Yeah you’re taking some time off, buddy.”

“What?” He complained.

“Take a vacation, Killian. You’ve earned some time off. Robins got your cases locked down right now.”

“Cap, I’m fine.”

“It’s an order, Detective.” He walked over to Emma and smiled, she suddenly reached up and wrapped him into a hug.

“You look better.” He said softly.

“I feel better, I feel like I’ve gained ten pounds just eating three meals a day.” She chuckled, but both David and Killian glanced uncomfortably at each other.

“Hey, don’t do that. I’m fine.” She glared. “I don’t want you treating me any differently than you did when we were at the academy.” She winked up at David, “Still top of my class, sir.”

“It’s good to have you back Emma.” David smiled with a genuine air of happiness.

Three months later

Emma picked the shirt off the floor in Henry’s room, tossing it into the hamper. “Did you remember to pack a toothbrush?” The boy appeared from behind the doorway, poking his head into the room.

“Yup. It’s in the front pocket of my duffle.” He disappeared again and then reappeared. “Are you gonna be ok with this?”

Emma smiled at him. “Of course, I am, why would you ask that?”

“Cuz this is my first sleepover away from you that isn’t over at Killian’s.”

“I’ll be fine, Henry. I actually have plans tonight.”

He moved quickly into the room. “What kind of plans?”

She sat down on the bed. “I kinda have a date tonight.”

“Does Killian know?” He asked with a shocked look of disgust on his face.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about before you left.” He sat down next to her. “My date is with Killian.”

He jumped up from the bed and pumped his arms in the air. “Yes.”

Emma laughed. “Does that mean you’re ok with this?”

“Of course, I am. Killian’s the best. He even lets me stay up until 11pm when I stay over at his place.”

“Well, I’ll have to talk to him about that, but I’m glad you like him.” She wrapped her arms around Henry’s waist and hugged him tightly. “I love you, buddy. I hope you have fun tonight. And if you need me at all, you know you can call me.” She tousled his hair and kissed his cheek.

There was a knock on the door and Henry pushed away from her. “Gotta go, love you mom.”

Emma looked around Henry’s room, pictures he had drawn hanging on the wall. Her favorite one was hanging above the bed. It was of her, Henry, Killian, and Rogers playing at the park.

As difficult as returning home had been, they had settled into a pretty simple life. Emma and Henry had moved into their own apartment in Will’s complex. It was nice to have a friendly face around now and then when she found herself getting anxious on nights when Henry was sleeping over at Killian’s or when she would wake from a terrifying dream.

Will was always gracious no matter the time she found herself standing in front of his door with a bottle of rum in her hands. He would always sit up with her and listen to her talk about the first thing that came to her mind, something Dr. Hopper had suggested she try to take her mind off her nightmares. She didn’t know when it happened but before she knew it, he had become one of her closest friends.

And then there was Killian.

She wasn’t surprised that Henry had latched onto him so quickly. Killian was great with him, always patient, always offering to assist him with whatever the boy required. Which was often a lot as he was a growing boy who was adjusting to the freedom of being able to go outside and roam. Killian made sure he found new foods for him to try, adventures to experience, even new clothes to wear on his first day at a real school. Watching him with her son, the joy on his face, had her falling in love with him all over again. Of course, she hadn’t told him that. She was nervous about moving too quickly with him. Dr. Hopper told her that was normal. She had experienced a trauma and loss that not many people would cope with.

In her last session, she told her therapist that she wanted to try again with Killian. She had spent the last three months trying to figure out what her life would become now that she was home. She needed to learn who Emma was before she could deal with being Mrs. Jones again.

Killian had presented her with their divorce papers, gave her the choice to sign them and start her life fresh. She put it off, telling him that she needed some time to think before she made any big decisions in her life. He was patient and told her he understood but Emma knew that if he had his way, he would rip them to shreds.

Emma was volunteering at a small clinic that Mary Margaret worked at on the weekends, talking to victims of domestic abuse and rape. Currently she was taking it slow, still not understanding her own trauma that she had endured enough to feel like she had all the answers, but just being there with them to let them know they weren’t alone, and that someone understood what they had gone through. It was freeing to Emma to be able to own her story, to not feel ashamed anymore.

Dr. Hopper told her that was a form of acceptance. Owning what happened to you, claiming it as your story. She would never be over what Neal had done to her, stealing her dignity, laying waste to her self-esteem. But she refused to be defined by it. She didn’t want to be Emma Swan, rape victim. She was Emma Jones, survivor.

Today was going to be another step in her journey. Killian was taking her on a date. She remembered his face as they were eating lunch, a short break during his shift.

“We should go out.” She said nonchalantly between bites.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Maybe, but I have to ask you a few questions first.” He raised his eyebrow, leaning forward for her to continue.

“Ask away.”

“I need to know if you ok going on a date with someone who is probably always going to be a little bit damaged.”

He shrugged, “Aren’t we all? I like to think I can absorb a little damage.”

“Ok then, last thing…” She grinned. “You gotta like kids or it’s a deal breaker.”

He laughed loudly, “Aye, I adore Henry.” He shrugged, “So, do I win a date with the beautiful woman who currently has a mayonnaise mustache?” He reached out, wiping the offending condiment from her lip, eliciting shockwaves through her body.

That was the moment she knew she was ready. She had felt excitement from his touch instead of withdrawing the moment he made contact.

He had insisted on being the one to plan the date, as much as she was sure she could still plan a night out, she had to admit that it took some of the pressure off. He wouldn’t tell her where they were going, only that it was somewhere she had been asking to go for a while and he felt she had earned it. Whatever that meant.

She slipped into the pink dress, pulling the straps over her shoulders. Looking in the mirror, she barely recognized herself. She looked feminine, happy, with a glint of hope in her eyes. The tears slipped onto her cheek; Neal had not stolen everything from her.

There was a knock on her door, a smile crept on her face. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and centering her mind. She was taking control of her life tonight.

Opening the door, she couldn’t control the shiver she felt when she saw him come into view. The man she fell in love with so many years ago was standing in front of her. Sure, he was older, the hint of grey kissing his hair, fine lines around his eyes, but he was even more gorgeous today than she remembered him all those years ago. This was the man who was willing to give up his life for her, loved her enough to save her, even if it meant he couldn’t have her.

“You look…”

“I know.” She giggled, accepting the rose he passed toward her. Her nose inhaled the fragrance of the flower, eyes glancing down his frame, the anticipation of the rest of their evening taking her to new heights.

“Shall we?”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Patience is a virtue, love.” He winked.

She rolled her eyes but followed him out to his car. They drove in silence, her hands folded in her lap. The soft sounds of the radio playing through the car.

Trying to live and love,

With a heart that can't be broken,

Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can't be opened.

Yeah, we both carry baggage,

We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,

And I will do the same.

Emma felt the tears sting her eyes. The lyrics breaking into her heart as she chanced a glance at the man sitting beside her, his eyes focused on the road, his jaw tensed, that familiar vein popping from the side of his neck. He never forgot her in all the time she had been gone. She knew how he felt about her. The way he loved her. He’d been so patient with her these last few months. Not pushing her either out the door or into his heart.

We may shine, we may shatter,

We may be picking up the pieces here on after,

We are fragile, we are human,

We are shaped by the light we let through us,

We break fast, cause we are glass.

'Cause we are glass.

He turned toward her, a smile ghosting on his lips that held onto hope. When she walked out the door ten years ago, she knew she still loved him, that she would always love the man who had risked everything for her. Now she knew that back then, before everything went to hell, she was being stubborn walking away, letting her fear of the unknown hold her captive.

I'll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,

And in the darkness of this moment,

You see the good and bad.

But try not to judge me, 'cause we've walked down different paths,

But it brought us here together, so I won't take that back.

She exhaled, a stray tear slipping against her cheek. She let it fall, not afraid of her emotions anymore. She had been stubborn; she should have known that they would have made anything work. Instead, she walked away and ended up in a hell she couldn’t control.

We might be oil and water, this could be a big mistake,

We might burn like gasoline and fire,

It's a chance we'll have to take.

Emma was ready to let go of all of that. To let go of the ten years she had been robbed of, to forget all the stubborn and foolish decisions that had gotten them to this moment. She wanted to reclaim her life. She wanted to take back what was owed to her.

We are glass.

The song referenced in this chapter is “We are Glass” by Thompson Square. You can hear the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPd1GIwjRFMIt’s a beautiful song and I felt it really summed up the characters in this story.

[bagog]

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.