#i just say anime because thats what i have the most exposure to

[lokh]

Okay, I won't lie NSW is more than slightly outside of my area of expertise when it comes to camping but the basics are the same anywhere. You said you have a tent and bag and some gear so we're not starting out at baby beginnings.

Step one, check the forecast. If its gonna be a heat wave or a cold snap or pissing rain wouldn't it be nice to know that before you're sitting miserable in a tent in the middle of nowhere? Plan accordingly, pack accordingly and you will be amazed how much you can deal with if you're prepared for it. Personally I have a nice rainshell with me at all times because it acts as a windbreak, water barrier, and exposure layer. I have taken a rainshell into the mojave desert where it never rains and I was right to do so because the wind got cold. I have occasionally been the overprepared dork, but I have more often been the only one not getting hypothermia.

Step two, know where you're going. As in, what to expect not just physically where it is. Are there restrooms? Water? Animals? Poisonous/stabby plants? Poisonous/stabby bugs? Other campers? Poisonous/stabby campers? Hazards? Cell service? Emergency services? Gas stations? Can you safely have a fire? Can you toast/grill your food or are you having cold dinner?

Step three, pack the most obscenely overdone toiletries kit you can imagine. Yes, this is actually important. My god, human bodies are messy. All your basic overnight goodies and then add sunscreen, bug dope, wet wipes or something similar, your own toilet paper and something to dig with if you're going out past available restrooms, and a small first aid kit. The kit doesn't have to be a full triage supply, tweezers, bandaids, antiseptic and maybe some gauze if you're clumsy. If you are gonna be doing a lot of walking/hiking I also recommend moleskin for blisters. Put the moleskin on BEFORE the blister pops.

Step four, look at the forecast again, assume it's wrong and pack for the worst weather possible. You need a dry pair of socks and undies. You need long sleeves and a spare shirt. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you will sweat through the day and get damp and if you sleep in the same thing you've been wearing you will get chilled. This is why every one says no cotton for camping, no matter where you are. I have a full change of clothes for sleeping so my day clothes can air and dry overnight.

Step five is food and its really each to his own for this one. If you're hiking out you will be more limited as far as weight/refrigeration, but thats somewhat of a trial and error thing. Freeze dried meals have their place but there is no reason it has to be your go to. Remember your water and remember that if you sweat and replace it with nothing but water you will be hurting. Powdered drink mix is your friend. If you're car camping and tenting next to the car I just bring a 5 gallon jug of water that stays in the car and refill waterbottles as needed. (Note: Senshi from dungeon meshi isn't actually an unattainable fantasy, you can cook a full scale meal in the backcountry if you really want to. It is several magnitudes more difficult than you would think if you are used to cooking in a kitchen, but it is possible.)

Step six is assessing your gadgets. If you want your phone you probably need a power pack to charge it. You will want a flashlight for the dark, not your phone, not glowsticks. If you want a camera you have to figure out how to carry that with you. You also need to figure out if you have cell service and a way to call for help. The more intense you get into this, the more you should look at getting a GPS or inreach/spot device, especially if you want to go alone. This is also a good time to come to grips with the falliblity of technology and get a paper map.

Step seven is for sleeping arrangements, which you seem to have covered. My rip is to set up sleeping stuff as soon as you get to where your making camp, so that way your bag has a chance to loft and your aren't fiddling with stuff sacks in the dark when your tired. And drunk if you're party camping. Open the sleeping bag before the tequila. Also a sleeping pad will protect your bag and also your joints so you don't wake up feeling like Rip van Winkle.

Have fun, be safe, don't be a dick and clean up after your self at your campsite. Sleeping in the dirt is a great time and I hope you enjoy your trip.

thank you so much!!!! i had a great trip but it wouldve been better if id followed your advice more carefully LMAO

[calpalsworld]

So the behind the scenes for Pizza Tower is literally the worst. The creator is literally the worst. If i was in the same room as someone like this I would probably become a killer. Other fans have already said their opinions, basically "I get why people like the game but I can't engage with it anymore" etc. That's pretty much how I'm feeling. I feel disgusted and betrayed and it hurts to remember something I like about the game, and then remember it was made by these dangerous people. Maybe at some point if I do get the urge to draw the characters again, maybe I'll put a huge DNI banner that says "fuck bigots die mcpig" or something. But I need a bit to think about if thats a good decision or not... I feel like its not... On one hand I want to say "I'm gonna take the good parts of this game and make it what the creator hates" but I also have no clue if thats a good idea, and I need a while to think about it.

One BIG THING I'm asking of everyone, and I may make another post asking this question later, is does anyone know any Pizza Tower alternatives??? Any media that is cartoony and simple and crazy and well animated? I really wish I could find something that had the things I liked in Pizza Tower. Please comment or send me an ask if you have any suggestions.

Anyway heres some PERSONAL thoughts that are NOT as important:

I feel disappointed in myself for noticing problematic character designs from the start and convincing myself that maybe the bigotry was unintentional, that it was just a negative side effect of being inspired by other (bigoted) things. It was obviously not. I should've known it was intentional.

A lot of people have been saying "Pizza Tower being problematic was obvious due to the art style," which is partially true, but at the same time that makes me really sad. My first exposure to the game was my friend saying "this looks like something you would make!" And I've been fucking obsessed with the art style ever since. For those who don't know, I used to be an exclusively "shitpost" artist, which I REALLY enjoyed, and art college has made me more and more corporate. So sadly.... Pizza Tower made me feel connected to how I used to draw and create art. I was really happy to see such a creative and unconventional art style that is like my own thriving with popularity, and I liked to imagine that maybe the creator was similar to me (he is not). Lately I've started saying "I'm not gonna make sanitized art anymore I'm gonna only make crazy stuff" and yeah that was literally because of... Pizza Tower.... which has been revealed to be made by the worst people ever.... (so yeah lmk if you guys have any recommended alternatives).

Last thing is I think it has been cool how Peppino has become an iconic ass trans-headcanoned character for a lot of tumblr. So I guess thats the reason why I most likely won't judge anyone for drawing Pizza Tower. We got something awesome going that was our own thing. But you have to remember McPig is also a racist, and trans headcanons don't do anything to fight against that.

I just hope the people who will continue to draw art to spite McPig's intentions openly acknowledge how fucked up the game's creation is, and don't promote the game. If you continue being a Pizza Tower fan please at least be self-aware and adamantly against the creator. Like post a link to pirate the game along with every time you post art of it or something to counteract your inherent promotion of the game, idk. Don't let bigots get away with being popular. That is dangerous.

TLDR:;

No more Pizza Tower for me, at least for a while, if I do ever post something Pizza Tower-related again it will be staunchly anti-Pizza Tower. Someday, I hope to create something like fun and silly like Pizza Tower, but antifascist. Also, new hyperfixation recommendations that are similar to Pizza Tower strongly encouraged, thank you!

[granulesofsand]

CW: attemptively non-detailed mentions of abuse, csa, animal death+torture, paraphilias (non contact) ABA, every classic categories of abuse, think thats it

[If this is not allowed ask my bad you can delete, I sincerely mean no harm] I apologizing if this is incoherent at all i am very brain disordered at the moment but this is the most clarity I have on things in awhile. We have been very certain on atleast C-DID levels of complexity for some time and it opened many doors and is all incredibly complicated, but have also been having issue of relating to HC-DID in ways that feel am not allowed because did not go thru a cult or outside sources (to our knowledge, only had small handful of time to process things and have high amnesia dissociation and other disorders)

we did go through some things, like here is things experience to my knowledge, have had so little time to process after life of amnesia + dissociation;

force exposure to gore & genuine satanism & satanic sacrifice & rituals, relatives torturing mutilating killing animals for sacrifice / pleasure (including pets especially meant for us) made to believe we were demon -- csa (only process rn thru somatic flashbacks etc) one of relatives was predator -- through ABA (or other organization) at young age, did inhumane things not hear of doing to others, it was maybe worse than we think, feel like it set us up for dissociative states -- beating, isolating, starving, threat of murder, strange punishments, we had adapt to be certain ways try not to be hurt and go into trance states (/or alter switch?) and inability to make noise or sob etc -- have alters who hold takeover reactions of hurt or mutulate self, of run back to them, of unalive, of do awful thing to animals like abusers had us do and did, struggle with several paraphilias and Aspd -- relatives seem to work together at times in things and use hurting us to get along or participate together -- think related to some TB/MC things for reasons I can no longer access memory to, know that they did make us go into states and be certain ways and dissociate and the organization was a part of this and or set us up for it likely -- have not just subsystem but experience layering and sidesystem aswell (many of the reactive alters are here the ones who can harm, but cannot reach them) some other innerworld structure type things

when I share too much / think on details things happen and i can't help it so I don't go in detail I hope this is okay, I try sometimes to dig and it can make some alters react in selfharm/unalive/harmful ways and i lose clarity. I don't know, I feel relation to some things of HC-DID and find help in there, but I know I cannot take space, I am just very confused and there is so little resource for some specific experiences -- I suppose I am unsure if I can even be in this space, do I have any reason other than relating and it helping us, only finding some relations in here and understandings ,_, lost; & too much

🗝️🏷️ mentioned above, RAMCOA

Before I start, I want to say that I am neither you nor your clinician, and my opinions are based only on the few paragraphs here. Whatever you conclude, that’s your process and you should hold the reigns.

RAMCOA

So. With what you’ve said, I can say that you are a RAMCOA survivor if you choose to identify as such. Below is anything else I thought possibly helpful.

Ritual Abuse doesn’t have to take place in organized groups. It doesn’t require a group at all. It’s a particular flavor of religious/belief-based trauma describing the use of symbolism as a centerpiece to the abuse.

Satanic imagery is particularly common in majority Christian areas, and can be used in an abuse dynamic as a true faith or as a method of normalizing extreme violence. Exposure to that qualifies you as a survivor of RA.

There was a time when RA was SRA, the S standing for Satanic, though it’s no longer used for all incidents of RA. Satanic Panic and Satanic Ritual Abuse are different, but not everyone knows that. I would not recommend straight Googling those terms, but there are both books and survivor spaces that will understand.

It also looks to me as though programming, or at least Mind Control may have taken place. Programming is what makes a system Highly Complex. All programming is MC, but not all MC is programming. HC-DID systems were intentionally split, structured, or controlled via cue-response or other heavy conditioning.

Abusers don’t have to know specific words or be affiliated with any group to create a programmed system. Organized Abuse can cooccur, referring to high control groups like cults and trafficking rings, but is not necessary for programming.

Mind Control

Mind Control is intentional, but it doesn’t require the awareness of the current perpetrator. Sometimes called Manipulative Conditioning, it refers to a plethora of practices; for example

Generational groups can program members without any ill meaning because those inflicting the programming are in turn also programmed.

McDonald’s is using MC if they research color schemes for advertising with the intent of drawing in customers, but not if they choose it because they happened to like that same set of colors.

I would also say that MC is inherently abusive. It is a different thing to teach a child not to break a glass by reacting negatively and then repairing the bond than it is to knowingly use the same negative reaction to induce disordered eating. It’s a matter of control and agency which we are not currently capable of utilizing safely.

For those reasons, ABA is also MC. It aims to change behaviors with the intention of forcing conformity. It becomes Torture*-Based MC when pain is weaponized for this purpose, or Drug-Based MC when substances are present. (*I consider torture and trauma alike when purposefully applied.)

Programming

T/DBMC both include a deeper level of intention and coercion, and I would not correct someone who called these experiences programming. My own definition of programming leans into the specific outcome that pairs with the intention, and I cannot decide for another whether their experiences meet this standard.

Sidesystems in HC-DID refer to subgroups of alters placed away from other alters by programmers, often with a particular purpose. Some plurals use sidesystem as only a subgroup of alters away from other alters, which is therefore possible without programming.

Layers are not, to my knowledge, limited by any HC-DID definition. They appear with frequency in programmed systems because they can be used for organization, and because many experiences** common among RAMCOA survivors can create similar structuring (**repetition in MC or RA, need to separate large groups of alters, different innerworld settings that cannot be contained in one area).

I will include that having both of these, as well as surviving RA and MC, can be indicative of programming. Some HC-DID systems consider all polyfrag RAMCOA systems HC, others place more emphasis on programming than structure. Some insist upon both.

HC-DID

There is no label police that will revoke your license, only people who are sometimes mean. You are the one who decides whether or not to call your system HC, and you don’t have to explain your story for anyone but yourselves.

We believe that other alters do not owe information to even their own systemmates, but that bit is for y’all to decide.

Try not to push too hard for memories. Listen to others inside and work with each other where possible, as trust makes communication easier. It’s hard to work with trauma, especially of this variety, and I hope that you find community with whichever labels you use.

[mayordeas-clone]

gatekeeping in general is annoying but vocaloid gatekeeping in particular gets me riled up because like. i remember when i surfed through the comments of the vocaloid unpopular opinions page on instagram and there would be an occasional Hot Take on these new young vocaloid fans that don't know much about vocaloid and therefore are not reeeaaally vocaloid fans.

which is like... yeah a lot of new fans make a lot of rookie mistakes and have some admittedly dumb misconceptions, but i feel like a LOT of older/veteran vocaloid fans were also like that when they first arrived 😭 vocaloid is a bit different from what a fandom is typically formed around yknow. its a broad category of tools and music and art and such, it's so.. non-central if that makes sense? so of course it would be confusing to a completely fresh new fan. im pretty sure thats why "is vocaloid an anime" is such a common question cuz new fans are trying to figure out What All Of This Is.

one "hot take" that really annoyed me was one that was like, "you're not really a vocaloid fan if you think miku/the six crypton vocaloids are the only ones that exist. you have to know gumi or flower or fukase at the very least!" NO!!! CUT IT OUT!! listen. i feel like the reason why a good chunk of fans might think miku and her friends (or even just miku) are the only vocaloids is because theyre everywhere!!! it goes without saying that miku is the most popular character. so, of course she appears in a lot of official vocaloid media, and CFM would throw in their own characters with her while they're at it. the concerts, merchandise, the games... they get the most cuz theyre the most popular, and probably the main media that new fans are exposed to when getting into vocaloid. im not surprised that it gives them a bit of tunnel vision when it comes to the very wide array of voicebanks and characters in vocaloid alone.

the video games in particular probably served as an introduction to vocaloid for a lot of people, myself included. i watched those project diva mvs soooo much (exposed me to many classic hits, which need i remind you primarily feature miku lol), and the project diva games only had the crypton 6. for a while, because of my exposure to vocaloid through project diva, i also thought the main 6 were the only ones. i remember when i was watching a trailer for project mirari dx on my 3ds, and one of the selling points in the trailer was like, "introducing... gumi!" (in reference to how gumi was a guest character in those games). and from that i genuinely thought gumi was a new vocaloid.

this also translates to how some ppl on that unpopular opinion page would sometimes speak about project sekai fans, aka the youngsters that are getting into vocaloid through the hot new mobile game and are posting about it on tiktok and whatnot. "aaa but they'll probably only think miku and her friends are the only ones!!" the project diva problem repackaged for a new generation i guess. at least project sekai actually includes music that features other voicebanks (gumi, flower, yuki, and ia to name some). sure, theyre not shown outright, but it's a lot better than project diva which exclusively had music with the crypton voicebanks. again, this is not a new problem 😭 (i mean, i guess ive also heard "aaa but some proseka fans think the ocs are vocaloids tooo" ...so?? that can be pretty easily explained away. who cares)

like let's be real... new fans having cringe misconceptions about vocaloid is not new at all. not every fan is going to be equipped with the vocaloid bible when they start investigating what all this hatsune miku business is after playing project sekai. some mistakes feel dumb, but the cool thing about dumb misconceptions is that theyre pretty easy to clear up when you actually explain things rather than shun baby fans completely.

ok im done rambling now. maybe this is a very specific and not at all widespread thought and my brain just got fried from looking at an instagram comment section. it happens sometimes. ive just been thinking about those specific comments and the more i thought about them the more it pissed me off lmao.

if you see this and somehow tolerated to read to the end, share your dumbest vocaloid misconception, if you had any (perhaps there were some fans that got their vocaloid bible upon entering of the fandom. or maybe i was a really stupid kid)

[thehandwixard]

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ok so let me catch yall up:

finished traverse town, got through wonderland, beat cerberus, at the start of deep jungle. we caught up? also my bestie has started streaming the game so im getting double exposure

gameplay thoughts right now: path of the mystic is actually pretty fun if youre doing anything that isnt aerial combos, which is most combos if anything flying is involved but thats ok. ripple wave is very rewarding to land and clears out a lot of goons around you. of course, choosing path of the mystic limits the amount of cool, actiony abilities i have, and this early on in the game you cant equip all the abilities you want for your combos, but it like. works. sora's bread and butter combo is rewarding to pull off, though its difficult to avoid getting hit out of it. i wish it was a little easier to stack finishers, but thats not really a thing.

its very difficult to manage items, though, for me at least. you have a lot of control over donald and goofy's ai in kh1, but that still doesnt mean you control their actions, so you have to be careful about the items you give them. sora donald and goofy are all also just kind of weak and inflexible at this point in the game, and theres not a quick way to get a lot of items. that said, i dont think thats BAD for this early in the game, just can make things tedious.

anyways to get into story stuff: a lot has happened in a short amount of time, and not a lot has happened in a long amount of time. wonderland is just kind of for getting your bearings, and the grinding pads it out, but it sticks out to me just how dire the cheshire cat is allowed to be. he and alice are by far the shining stars of the world, and for alice thats mostly because she's really the first.. like. princess sora is tasked with rescuing, and he is made unable to. wonderland also has our first segment of "donald and goofy dont believe theyre allowed to meddle in world affairs, but sora sees someone needs help so he does so anyways" which is fun. idk HOW recurring that is, but i think its important. esp with the like... nuance that at least donald and goofy are upset that they feel like they cant help. like they want to.

as he should, the cheshire cat comes off as a force that knows far more than anyone else can comprehend, and is easily the most lively and real character in the world. my friend singled out "if you want to find the shadows, try turning on the light" as a parallel to dive to the heart's "the brighter your light, the darker the shadow" yknow. common wordplay and shit but its still interesting. hes also the one who teaches you blizzard magic.

not much to say about olympus coliseum really? phil is ok. teaches you thunder. the hades bits ARE very funny in a specific sort of way, much has been said in the past about his VA kind of phoning it in, and that combined with the... strong Attempt. at animating him makes the whole thing really uncanny. however the part before you leave the world and have the option to talk to cloud is realllly digging at me in a good way.

i really don't know much about cloud except some like... slightly advanced basics such as his backstory, general shit hes doing, and like.his mental state at most times, which gives him and sora a really interesting instant connection

sora speaks with a genuine gravity to cloud, and it really comes across like he went out of his way to go back and talk to him, to ask if he was ok. we know that cloud is searching for sephiroth, which makes him indirectly implying sephiroth is his light... Loaded

hes really cute in this game. uhh sora's meeting with cloud also is a major part of my hashtag truth that sora kind of figured out he was into guys through the journey and meeting all sorts of cool and hot dudes and in general making connections with queer people. learning whats out there.

deep jungle is The Real Shit though.

in many ways its where the main emotional plot picks back up again and some additional threads are pulled on. sora is in a place reminiscent of his home, one that donald didnt want to go to and called 'backwater' and he crashed them onto it looking for riku and kairi. its high tier donald jackass moments to the point where when sora was explaining to tarzan hey im trying to find my friends goofy and donald, he corrects himself, and goes back to kairi and riku. and thats not a dick move from him, cause donald is being an asshole! and also now sora is hallucinating kairi without a good prompt (imagining kairi waking him up in the place of yuffie) so hes doing normal.

sora's a normal boy with many outlets to express his emotions

[fallowfield-moved]

i'm gonna be honest and i hate this fact but i think i learned most of my speech and vocal/social patterns from anime

[philipkindreddickhead]

I often seen critiques of make up from an existential/philosophical perspective, but I rarely see criticism of cosmetics from a stand point of the very physical bodily harm it does. I think this is because the number of dangerous ingredients is so massive, and overlapping its an absolutely daunting task. So I've compiled the information I've found and bear with me its a lot. (This is from an American perspective. Sorry, thats what I know. However I would love it if people from other countries had things to add.)

First I want to get the "simple" stuff out of the way. I think almost everyone has heard about bacteria and fungi in makeup and that makeup causes acne from clogging pores. Makeup has a pretty strict shelf life, yet consumers are entirely supposed to self-police as Ive never seen a single expiration date on any cosmetic packaging. (I guess consumers are meant to pull this knowledge out of the ether or something. I only found out about it in a tumblr PSA. I did read that expirys are on products in Europe.) Beauty blenders are the worst offender because theyre almost always moist. When I was taught makeup I was told to wet my sponge so it would soak up less product. If you apply makeup daily your sponge is likely constantly damp. USA Today had an article which said that 96% of sponges had fungi and over 60% had E. Coli in them. But I think what people talk about less is the complication of problems from using other products in conjunction with dirty beauty blenders. USA Today warns its especially dangerous to use beauty blenders if you have damage to your skin like acne, cuts, or dry skin. However the most popular beauty products for washing your face contain walnut pieces for literally scrubbing your skin and creating microabrasions. If youre a frequent makeup user you probably know about the cyclical nature of applying foundation, breaking out, and then applying more foundation to cover the breakout. You may even be using scrubbing cleansers more frequently to combat the acne creating more tears. This can lead to "blood poisoning" and, though neither USA today or Forbes mentions this, blood poisoning (not a medical term btw. Its sepsis.) according to numerous medical sites has the potential to be extremely lethal. The symptoms are so similar to a regular flu its nearly impossible to self-diagnose.

The very first thing I was told when a friend handed me a jar of finishing powder- popular with many beauty gurus for the "baking" technique and considered a must have- was a joke about "clown lung." This was a reference to the main ingredient talc. Talc causes lung problems including cancer and respiratory illness. If anyone remembers the large Johnson and Johnson lawsuit from 2019 it was because theyd been putting talc into baby powder. Talc is dangerous because it's impossible to mine and seperate from ASBESTOS. Some high-end finishing powders will try to sell you on safe talc-free formulas but all the products I looked into contained mica instead which causes pneumoconiosis, colloquially known as "black lung disease." Like fucking coal miners get. Its not just present in finishing powder either. In my research it turned out that talc/asbestos are also present in many eyeshadows and other powder products. [Googleable, evidenced in J&J lawsuit]

Another industry to examine is nail salons. Toluene, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, and Methacrylate compounds are all dangerous ingredients and present in various salon products. These ingredients cause a range of problems from dizziness, drowsiness, birth defects, slow fetal growth, future intellectual disabilities in the fetus, eye skin and throat irritation, coughing, allergic reactions, asthma-like attacks, short-term memory loss, nausea, dermatitis, cancer, and misscarriage. Some nail products advertise that they are 3-free meaning that toluene, formaldehyde, and DP should be absent but often the labels are found to be completely inaccurate. It should be noted that the risk is mainly to salon workers and not patrons but ask yourself if it is right to place other people at serious risk for your aesthetic. OSHA does make an attempt to mitigate these risks however not once in my years of makeup queen did I see a salon following these directives which include constant air monitoring, half mask respirators with chemical cartridges, gloves, long sleeves, and safety glasses. (And Im not even going to touch issues of human trafficking/slave labour out of nail salons one case of which occured 5 days ago two hours away from me) It should also be noted that formaldehyde can also be found in hair relaxers and hair dyes. [Found articles in Scientific American and NYT]

I also found on the FDAs website that many cosmetics include heavy metals like arsenic, mercury, and lead. (Usually accompainied by a picture of lipstick so I assume that is the product most likely to contain it, however campaign for safe cosmetics lists foundation as containing heavy metals, and The Guardian has an article about skin lighteners from Asia and Africa containing mercury.) The website stated that the amount of these heavy metals in cosmetics is "safe" if used as intended. (and I'm going to come back to the concept of "intended use" later because thats a can of worms too) However, when searching for info on heavy metal safety I found this quote in regards to metals in food:

"Certain metals, such as arsenic, lead and mercury, have no established health benefit, and have been shown to lead to illness, impairment, and in high doses, death. Understanding the risk that harmful metals pose in our food supply is complicated by the fact that no single food source accounts for most people’s exposure to metals in foods. People’s exposure comes from many different foods containing these metals. Combining all of the foods we eat, even low levels of harmful metals from individual food sources, can sometimes add up to a level of concern"

So like, which is it? Is it a "safe amount" or is no amount of metal safe? I understand that in the case of certain foods like fish some amount of mercury poisoning is always expected but fish is also something you feed yourself and nourish your body with while cosmetics are completely unecessary to your survival. The mercury problem in fish is also mitigated by health warnings when mercury levels are particularly high but cosmetics have no such warning. Another warning on the site indicated that children should ingest NO amount of lead AT ALL because it is particularly harmful for kids yet theres no effort to stop children from using lead-containing cosmetics. I worked next to a Five Below where I was shocked to find they sold Jeffree Star and Anastasia eyeshadow dupes for five dollars which amounts to fucking pocket change for a lot of kids and kids do buy that stuff. I also think its ironic the FDA would have anything to say regarding cosmetics because in the very same article about heavy metals in cosmetics the FDA says that they DO NOT REGULATE cosmetics beyond the color additives.

Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and brow tint often contain carbon black. This is a color additive that is an incomplete combustion of carbon-based products. It can cause lung disease, cancer, and organ system toxicity, and eye, nose, throat irritation. The effects are mainly studied in rats and those at biggest risk are industrial workers but why do other workers have to endure lung problems for something so unecessary? [Easily googleable, NIH, CDC, WHO Europe]

This next bit I only want to mention briefly because I didnt find any particularly reputable sources about it, but its a claim that cropped up repeatedly and I think its an interesting one. Parabens, estrogen, phthalates (again), and pesticides in cosmetics are apparently linked to endocrine disorders and hormone dysregulation. Im not entirely sure what is meant by this accusation. Endocrine disorders include female diseases like PCOS and possibly endometriosis. None of these diseases is very well studied and the female endocrine system itself is not well studied either. Im not saying "cosmetics cause PCOS" because we dont know if PCOS or these other endocrine/hormonal disorders are genetic or environmental or both (it appears that PCOS is largely genetic and Endometriosis is likely autoimmune related) AND we dont appear to know for sure that cosmetic ingredients cause endocrine disorder. But I include anyway for a number of reasons:

If you happen to struggle with hormonal problems you may want to know cosmetics is a potential environment factor.

These conditions are incredibly painful. It will be a battle getting your doctor to even acknowledge that pain for diagnosis. PCOS is linked to diabetes, and heart disease. [Thanks @mother-of-pearl ] There is no cure and the treatments are often throwing hormonal birth control at it and hoping for the best.

I dont anticipate the link between cosmetics and endocrine disorders being studied any time soon or any endocrine disorders studied at all because the medical/scientific field is sexist. I dont want women to suffer in the mean time.

Now again, take this with a grain of salt because I couldnt find scientific or news sources for it. Dont fucking come for me. Im not gonna respond to you. [Most reputable source was a paper from the library of medicine at the national institutes of health but it was behind a paywall and I dont have 39 dollars to be right on tumblrdotcom]

Avoiding these ingredients is not as simple as scanning the label for them. As many beautubers and the community are no doubt aware considering multiple scandals over veganism. Products advertised as vegan or cruelty free but contain non-vegan carmine or are sold in China which legally requires the products to be animal tested. Cosmetic companies will hide ingredients claiming they are "trade secrets" or they will be placed under "fragrance." Many ingredients will be known by six or seven different names and asking consumers to be aware of seven different names for multiple ingredients requires consumers to be aware of innumerable different, often complicated ingredient names. I shouldnt have to point out that's a ridiculous burden to place on women. The EU banned 1,300 hazardous ingredients that the US did not. Cosmetic companies rely on women being unwilling/unable to bring in a list of 1,300 ingredients- with multiple names- every time they pop in to the drug store, sephora, or wherever. Buying "natural" products will not help you either. Theres no established criteria for natural/organic in costmetics, the FDA doesnt test these products, and "natural"=/= safe anyway. Plenty of plants and minerals are poisonous. One good example is traditional kohl products which advertise their natural status but also naturally contain lead and reiterating that natural powders contain mica. US courts are rarely on the side of consumers either. I found an interesting lawsuit against St. Ives for their apricot scrub taken to court for their "dermatologist tested" label despite it causing breakouts and cuts to the skin. The courts ruled that this label was fine because it only indicated that the product was TESTED not APPROVED by dermatologists. However I think any rational consumer would look at this label and assume the tests concluded it was safe for use or else why put the label on there?

[Googlable XMONDO drama, googlable laws wrt china and eu, already stated about FDA, FDA website about Kohl. Googled St. Ives lawsuit.]

I want to return to the idea of "intended use." This is sort of a fucky concept a lot of companies have ways of getting around. My "last straw" with makeup had to do with a run-in I had with Anastasia over their "Riviera" eyeshadow palette. In this pallette they had two colors that were the real feature of the palette, an electric neon purple and a radioactive pink I mean every photo, every promotion has these two colors swirled together around the eye. Because again, its an eyeshadow palette. When I buy the eyeshadow palette of course there's a little insert warning in the package that says these two shades are not intended on the eye area. In an eyeshadow palette. Contacting their customer service they told me that these two shades were meant to be used as a blush. neon purple blush. Not only that, but their website and instagram featured NO models wearing the shades as blush while EVERY model one or more of the shades as eyeshadow. When asked about this discrepancy ABH stopped responding. What I find egregious about this is the amount of people who dont know, and then more staggeringly; dont care. The sephora clerks didnt know, the in store abh representative didnt know, their customers didnt know, and when I told them they would respond with "oh, [brand] did the same thing with their [shade]." Sure enough, when I demanded that store clerks open the packaging to look for warnings nearly every product had an "eyeshadow" that was not intended for use on the eyes. Relegating dark, red-toned teal to "contour" and neon grean to "highlighter" US-based cosmetic junkies will say that these pigments have been approved for use by the EU however I found absolutely NO evidence of that. I googled it a thousand ways but all I ever found were blog posts, reddit comments, and one quote from an apparently nonEuropean layman in an Insider article. I even changed my location to France on ABH's website and the Norvina palette still contains the same warnings (not to harp on ABH in particular. I just know which shades in particular are the problem there). The Insider article noted that brands who were selling pressed pigments declined to comment. If the pressed pigments were EU friendly, I would think companies would be clamouring to say so. It also still makes their market as eyeshadow colors illegal in the US. (If any Europeans would like to chime in I'd love that.) Another problem I find with cosmetics companies and their reps is the claim that the worst thing that could happen is eye irritation for those with sensitive eyes and staining. How could they possibly know? The FDA doesnt test, or approve these cosmetics in the eye area, so ostensibly no one should be using it that way.

The next one is a bit of a "duh" but I'm going to talk about it anyway. Counterfeit cosmetics are a booming market full of untold dangers. Untold primarily because these products could contain literally anything. Ive read about glue, arsenic, lead, feces, staph, and horse urine to name a few. The labels and ingredient list on these products are fake. Legitimate brands often unintentionally play into the counterfeit market. They create artificial scarcity by making less of the product than is actually needed for consumer demand to create an even higher demand. If consumers miss out often their only chance at getting the product is to turn to counterfeits. I found examples of women who had their lips superglued, lips "turned to goo" and burned to blistering, throat closures, women with stys, contact dermatitis, eye infections. I think we as a society turn a blind eye to this problem because we think "hey, if youre buying counterfeits for a discount and you get hurt you deserve it." We imagine idiots buying products for 4 dollars from ebay or perusing Canal street for FEИTY beauty. But these counterfeits can be really convincing. I myself received a gift of a huda palette that I only recognized something was weird about it because I'd swatched it at sephora about five times earlier that month. The person who bought it for me actually paid MORE than the usual cost for the palette because it was advertised as a newer, better edition. The websites can be disturbingly similar. For instance Kylie Jenner's legitimate website is KylieCosmetics.com but you can find fakes at kyliecosmeticsshop.co.uk. These fakes can buy ad space and be one of the first sites that populate when you google the products instead of typing the legitimate site into the address bar. Counterfeits can also be bought and sold through third parties on websites like ebay, wish, and amazon. (My gift actually came from Amazon.)

[Netflix doc "Broken" ep "Makeup Mayhem" Corroborated by personal experience and google]

[violetnotez]

I just want Bakugo cuddles 🥺 Thank you to @gallickingun​ @katsukisprincess​ and @yuueimagines​ helping me start this baby+give me ideas! <3

Bakugo x reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1985

Warnings: cussing (it’s Bakugo there’s ALWAYS cussing)

Summary: It’s one of the hottest days of the year, yet Bakugo still wants to hold you close to him. You try to fight off his cuddle attack, but it’s no use-when Bakugo wants something, he will get it. No matter what.

“Y/n come here.”

You sighed exasperatedly into the warm pillow, your damp forehead facing away from the stubborn boy.

“For the last time Katsuki, I’m not going to cuddle you.”

It was one of the hottest days of the year, the summer heat making the room into a sweltering and humid heat magnet. You had countless fans going on and the AC at full blast, the roar of the machines working filling your shared bedroom with Bakugo.

Even with those devices, though, you seemed unable to push the heat out of the room. The sheets were long forgotten on the floor, you both finding them to make the warmth worse by trapping your body heat. Both of you were covered in sweat, your hairs sticking to your forehead and your skins uncomfortably hot.

It also didn’t help Bakugo was essentially a human radiator. His quirk seemed to keep him permanently hot, his skin always warm to the touch. You didn’t mind him being so naturally warm-it was comforting to have him to snuggle since the heat of his body felt like a warm blanket, enveloping you in a calming comfort. Yet, with it being such a sweltering, uncomfortable temperature, it really wasn’t the best time to cuddle someone, especially your warm-blooded boyfriend.

“Why the fuck not? Bakugo growled out, annoyance bubbling into his stomach.

All Bakugo wanted was to hold you against him, to feel how your body molded into his so effortlessly and the softness of your skin.

But because of this damn heat and his obnoxiously hot body temperature, you had scooted so far away from him you were practically falling off the bed.

And that bothered the hell out of him-you were usually so ready to pounce on him and give him all the love his heart wanted. But now you didn’t even want to look at him it was so hot.

“You know why ‘Suki, it’s just too hot for that-“

“Bullshit! Look how many fans we have on-you seriously can’t be that hot,” He was sulking on his side of the bed, his lips poured out slightly as he wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.

You propped your slick body up on your elbows, trying to catch as much of a breeze from the circulating fans. You gave a tired sigh, your warm body feeling achy from the long hours of heat exposure.

“I too am too that hot,” you huffed out, “your sweating along with me, so don’t act like I’m just overreacting,”

“Dumbass, I’m always sweating, it’s my quirk!” he retaliated, his eyes bright with irritation-he just wanted to hold you, god damn it! He didn’t want to admit that he was hot as well, he was desperate for your touch.

And if you were putting up a fight to not be next to him, oh, he was going to make sure he won.

“If your hot, just take off some of your clothes, it’s keeping in your body heat anyway-“

You gave a small laugh, rolling your eyes at the blonde. You two were already stripped to the bare minimum in order to get rid of some of your warmth. Bakugo was only clad in a pair of boxers while you were wearing a lounge bra and shorts.

“Bakugo, if I’m not snuggling you because it’s warm,” you retorted with a giggle, “I’m definitely not doing that with you,” you turned to see his already pink cheeks get noticeably darker, a laugh spilling out of you from his embarrassment.

“I didn’t-mean it like that!” he sputtered out, “get your head out of the fucking gutter!”

You gave another chuckle, your head lulled back on your shoulders lazily.

He was so enamored by your sounds-the way you talked, laughed, sighed-it all sounded so pretty and infectious to him. If he could, he’d listen to you speak all day and all night and never get bored once.

You gave another look at the boy, his hair sticking to his forehead as he cuddles into his pillow, looking up at you with waiting eyes.

You reached over softly, your warm hand grazing his hot forehead as you pushed the damp hair away from his face. He sighed into your touch, a little bit of hope glimmering inside him that you would give in to his desires.

But just as quickly as you had touched him, you pulled away, leaving him feeling angry and desperate.

You watched the hotheaded boy’s face turn from peaceful to utterly annoyed, his eyes boaring into yours maliciously for playing with his heart like that. His grumpy frown slowly turned into a sick grin, as if a dark idea crawled into his brain.

If you wanted to play dirty, he would play dirtier than you.

Bakugo gripped your wrist with his warm, clammy hands, your eyes shooting open. He expertly took hold of your body, his overwhelming heat sweeping into your skin as you yelled in protest.

He had flipped you onto his stomach, his strong arms encasing you into his chest. The slight smell of salted caramel that came off of Katsuki filled your noise, making your mouth water slightly.

His muscles and skin were so enticing and comforting that you could fall asleep instantly in his touch. You loved hearing his powerful heart beat through his chest, and monitoring how it changed pace whenever you touched him or said a certain thing.

As much as those things made you feel happy and secure, the blonde was like furnace, containing all the heat in his body and radiating it into yours. It was unbearable in this warm room, and you began to squirm in his touch in an attempt to escape it.

“Katsuki, please, no!” You cried out with a smile, unable to be serious around the blonde. “You’re so-hot!”

“I know that, Princess, you don’t have to say it,” he chuckled arrogantly, trying to keep ahold of your wriggling body.

“God your full of yourself!” You laughed as you continued to struggle, your hands now pushing against his firm chest in an attempt to be free of his grasp.

“ damn, y/n-stop moving!”

“Then you let me go!”

“Hell no!”

You continued to struggle against the hothead, your fingers grasping at his skin, giggles spilling out as the heat of your body against his grew.

It was becoming close to unbearable for you and Bakugo, sweat making your body slippery as Bakugo tried to keep ahold of you.

He was getting more and more agitated the more you fought against him-you seriously didn’t want to cuddle with him that badly? Just over some god damn heat?

He was through with your fighting, his mind getting another idea.

He quickly flipped you over yet again, his body now on top of yours as you laid face up on the bead, your positions now being reversed.

Bakugo had his body propped on top, the thick muscles of his arms highlighted dramatically in the hazy lights. His eyes were a bright vermillion, a glow to them from having such a challenge tasked in front of him. A small smirk played on his parted lips, his skin radiating heat in top of you.

For you, it was getting hotter every second, and in this new position, it was even worse- Bakugo’s dense body blocked out any cool air from the fans, his full body weight was now encasing you, and the fact that he was pinning you down to the heated bed made it feel like you were in a sauna.

Bakugo looked down at you, pleading with his eyes, searching your face for any sign of agreement.

He was hoping against hope you were going to break-you had to know you were weaker than him-youd never be able to fight him off.

Yet you were still struggling, that bright smile of yours still on your face as you pleaded and retorted back at him, your soft hands still on his skin, pushing him away. It tore at his pride a little that you were being so defiant, but he had to admit, that was one of the reasons why he loved you so much: you put up with his bullshit and held your ground, even if it agitated him.

He stopped trying to hold you, his body propped on top of your squirming one.

“You seriosuly don’t want to hold me?” He asked, his voice full of spite.

“I’m sorry-I really just don’t-“ you began, but stopped once you felt Bakugo’s strong body crawl off yours and off the bed. You could already tell he was pissed off, a part of you hoping he wouldnt have a mini temper tantrum about all this.

You watched his built body walk to the foot of the bed, appreciating how the muscles rippled and moved so effortlessly with his movements.

He honestly was a sight to be seen, even if he was acting childish.

You continued to watch him, and to your surprise, he walked over to the fans, all lined up like little soldiers in front of the bed. You felt the cool air blast through the vents of the contraptions, a sigh escaping your lips.

Bakugo’s hand laid on top of one of the room fans gently, his head low as he stared at it. He turned his head, giving you a shit eating grin.

“You should’ve just been a good girl and listened to me y/n,” he warned out, his voice deep and husky, “now you gotta deal with the consequences.

“Katsuki, what are you doing?” You asked in horror, helpless to watch as Bakugo turned off each and every fan in the room. You could already feel the heat multiplying as each one shut down, the hypnotic whirs now dissappearing.

Desperation filled your gut as Bakugo went over to now turn off the AC, the most evil action he could do at this point. Your body swung off the bed, your feet slapping the luke-warm wood as you gripped Bakugo’s sinewy arm, trying with all your might to stop him from turning it off.

“Please Bakugo, no!” You pleaded, “Thats pure evil!”

“Will you- cuddle me then?!” He sputtered out, hating how needy he sounded.

“I-I can’t, it’s just too hot-“ you begged, “but maybe we can tomorrow when it’s not so hot.”

Bakugo gave a small growl, his teeth barred like an animals as the frustration bursted out of his chest.

“If you don’t fucking hold me right now I will break all these goddamn fans!”

“You wouldn’t dare,” You gasped, fear and irritation filling your stomach-the most annoying thing to you was that you knew that wasn’t an empty threat. Bakugo would break these in a heartbeat if you didn’t do what he said.

“Fucking watch me,” he confirmed your fears, his bright red eyes staring down at you, waiting for your answer.

You sighed, the grip you had on his arm loosening slightly.

You had two options: either have a pissed off Bakugo and it be hot or cuddle him and still be hot-at least his temperament would cool down slightly if you picked the 2nd.

You slowly wrapped your body around his, your mingled heat melting into each other as you cuddled into his neck, your warmth breath sending electricity down his spine.

“Fine,” you agreed reluctantly, your fingers deep into the softness of his hair. “But on one condition-”

“Hm?” he hummed, relishing the feeling of your skin finally on his.

“-turn back on the fans.”

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

[axemetaphor]

augh i kept forgetting to post this because i kept wantgin to draw mroe for it but i really suck at emulating Animal Crossing Art Style so im just going to go on a rambling explanation about this under the cut but the basic concept is. they deserve a vacation. and whats more relaxing than animal crossing? probably several things but let me have this ok

id had a bunch of ideas for mroe drawings in this style but Clearly, i am not very good at it, and every time i sat down to Try Again it ended up shitty. this is from literally months ago by now lmao

my Basic Concept was just. take the 3 of them and dump them on an animal crossing island, cause while ive been sick ive been playing a lot of new horizons to try and stay stable, and my brain likes to mush together whatever 2-or-more things im invested in together all the time. here’s some bullet points!

-john really loves diving for sea critters and frequently pulls up those bigass lobsters and eels and shit, he’s got an unnatural knack for it. loves to startle the shit out of dave by just whipping an eel out of his pocket. no thats not an innuendo stop that-- -amy loves planting/watering the flowers but shes not like invested in getting All The Different Types (although that Would be neat) she’s just having fun building a large flower patch. it’s slowly overtaking the island. also dave likes to just kinda sit in the flower patch -speaking of dave he kind of doesnt do much, i think he’d like fishing with john and/or amy and maybe hed like digging up fossils but for the most part hes just chillin, as he deserves to be, -amy likes the DIY recipe stuff though and will frequently politely ask dave to go fetch stuff for her. this has led to most of the villagers/islanders/whateverthetermis, the animal citizens, to have their Main exposure to dave be him wandering around with an axe at 3am because amy’s out of hardwood -speaking of the animal citizens, because i just really like them as a concept, i have no solid concept of who-all would be on their island but whoever they are, john is “friends” with All of them (and by that i mean he says theyre all his friends; whether or not they find him obnoxious Varies,) and amy is genuine friends with most of them/has spoken to all of them at least, and dave rarely if ever speaks to them. hes not very social. most of the animals are a little scared of him until they Actually get to talk to him and then they realize hes just an awkward misanthropic bastard -also in case it wasnt clear id think the 3 of them would all be in one little cabin i mean you can upgrade the shit out of those so they could all feasibly have their own spaces. but also i like polyamory and id say they all 3 share a room because fight me they do itd be cute. also of course the decor of their cabin is absolutely bonkers like listen not only does animal crossing have some weird items but nearly any living space john inhabits most likely has some very strange decor in it !  -tbh actually i think john would do Most of the decor stuff cause like based on the way his house is described i think he’d go NUTS for animal crossing’s Theme Decor Shit i dont know i dont actually do a bunch of that but i sure do think he would! amy would help out esp since she likes the DIY stuff, and i think dave is just kind of ..... allowing this nonsense to happen. letting john be free. probably convincing him to not change the theme every day, maybe every week, if only because it’s a bit of a hassle to have everything Constantly Rearranged.  -hang on wait i just thought of the 3 of them wandering along the beach and picking up seashells and now im like emotional over it bro pls. lovely. -also i jsut realized if daves the guy who digs up fossils he definitely talks to blathers a lot and thats an extremely funny thing to contemplate. the dude who seems to not really liek talking to people and the chatterbox owl. fantastic. you know dave is probably too awkward to tell blathers he doesnt want to hear all thsoe archaeopteryx facts! (also tbh maybe dave would actually like learning stuff) -also. john catches bugs just to give them to blathers and watch him freak out just a little about it.  -john always ends up buying fake art from redd but it’s fine because he just puts it somewhere in or near their cabin. amy however has the uncanny good luck to somehow always find the real artworks! dave doesnt talk to redd, he doesnt really care. -this ones definitely projection because my animal crossing island is a mess (And I Like It That Way Thank U Very Much) but john definitely is the guy who will dump extra furniture at random spots on the island. too much shit in storage? don’t need that Harmonious Chair right now? holding it in ur pockets just because u dont know where else to put it? just dump it on the ground! uncannily, john fuckin Always remembers where he’s put that shit when he happens to need it again. however this does mean sometimes the animal citizens will just ... find a mysterious new chair in their front yard.  -i know that terraforming is a new thing in acnh but i havent done it yet because i dont care about the whole 3 stars rating thing like listen im jsut here to run around and fill the museum if i feel like it but mostly pick up pumpkins and hoard bells for no reason and let my island be taken over by wildflowers. if any of the 3 are into that tho its john or amy--john just for the hell of it, amy would actually like try to Make Stuff of it -their front yard (and back yard if their cabin is put somewhere to allow that) is full of unused furniture as well. and also sometimes random dropped fruits or something, if dave is already carrying a ton when he sees something to dig up. -i think im out of shit to say right now but i might reblog to add mroe so. yes. if youve read this far then holy shit youre dedicated or really bored or something but whatever your reason is i hope this was A Fun Read and if it gave you any ideas Please Tell Me my inbox is open im sick and still in quarantine and i crave human interaction from literally anyone who isnt my parents. thank u 

[babysizedfics]

m glad ur feelin better!!!! do u have any spare hcs? im in a Mood and i love hcs sm 🐝

thank u bee anon!!! i am wracking my brains let's see

EDIT: this turned into a fairly long HC that focusses a on ro with adhd and autistic vee!

i can imagine the family all watching rilakkuma and kaoru on netflix (if you haven't already PLEASE watch it it's so soft and cute!)

because baby vee is very particular about what he watches, he is so jumpy and sensitive when little that his anxiety can be triggered by the smallest most insignificant details so logan and patton both carefully scour any possible triggers in cartoons and movies before putting them on for him

logan had learned that this particular show was pretty much all clear from triggers for virgil plus it was highly rated as being enjoyable for all age groups so he deemed it one of the few shows that they could probably all watch together

within the first few seconds, virgil was hooked - patton saw on his little face how his eyes blew wide with adoration at the cute bears on screen and he smiled past his paci and bounced on patton lap and reached toward the screen whispering 'cubble cubble' because the characters just looked so huggable

after a slight disappointment in finding out that he couldnt cuddle the bears, patton huddled vee close and the baby squeezed him tight and squeaked with excitement at the bears as the episode went on

roman was slack hawed and absolutely marvelling at the craftsmenship of the show - he actually fell right out of littlespace because he was so enthralled by the creativity behind the stop motion figures that he snapped 'out of character' as it were

he kept talking through the show, though not neary as much as he often did - only occasionally and always to ask logan how they did a certain thing with the models - logan dutifully explained what he knew about the animating process for stop lotion though admitted that he did not know much

they only watched two episodes as a family before vee got sleepy and logan insisted they should do something less screen-based, but that night roman binged the rest of the show in his room, amazed and adoring

and that started romans hyperfixation with stop motion animation and virgil's special interest with rilakkuma!

roman spends hours and hours and hours of the next couple of weeks studying the artform and collecting supplies to try his hand at it - albeit on a much smaller scale of course

and whenever vee draws pictures for the next couple of weeks they are always of the characters and he only cuddles his bear softies for a whole week before he picks up mento again

the caregivers of course indulge their littles' interests, amazed that both of them had clung so much to the show

they watched an episode every night, until they had gotten through all 13 of them - since roman had already watched them all in his adult headspace he had satiated his fascinstion in the artform and was able to enjoy them while little as well, he was very talkative and excitable and would infodump on all of the animation tricks he saw in the behind the scenes videos he watched on youtube

roman's hyperfixation only lasts about three weeks but he did create some cute characters with modelling clay and shot an amateur thirty second film with them that the other sides were very impressed by

but virgil's special interest is far more longlasting - baby vee doesnt stop drawing the characters for several weeks, there is no end in sight - he even gets so excited when he sees anything to do with the characters that he actually starts to breathe a bit too fast and shake and logan has to be careful to keep an eye on virgil's exposure to it as it can really overexcite him and strangely enough trigger his anxiety (projecting woohoo)

it carries over into his adult mindset too! he reads about the origins of the characters in sanrio and becomes equally fascinated and adoring of the other sanrio characters. he's pretty embarrassed about it at first and doesn't let anyone know about his new fascination, he keeps quiet about it and tries not to let the others see that his phone and laptop backgrounds are now of his favourite sanrio characters

but one day a couple months later roman casually brings up the show in conversation at dinner and virgil starts joining in the conversation, his toes are scrunching and unscrunching in his socks and he is rocking slightly from side to side on his chair as he blurts as much information as his tongue can manage about the characters and his favourite things about them and how the show handled the characterisation and what ither characters there are in the sanrio universe and what he thought of them and he doesn't even realise until he is talking through a thoroughly dry mouth and flapping his hand by his hip that he's been talking non stop for who knows how long

and suddenly he shuts up and feels his cheeks burn, noticing now how everyone around the table is looking at him, he grits his teeth, cursing himself for being so cringey and talking so much and why is he so selfish why didnt he let anyone else talk he shouldnt take up so much space

he mumbles sorry and keeps his eyes down from their stares but the others immediately reassure him, they weren't at all upset that he spoke so much, they were maybe a little surprised but really really happy that virge liked the subject so much and wanted to share it with them

he is still humiliated, he says okay thank you but deep down he still doesnt believe that its okay he still thinks its embarrassing and hes such a dork

but over the next few weeks the others invite him to talk about it more, roman sends virgil sanrio memes he finds on tumblr, logan plays the soundtrack to the show when he is trying to calm virgil down, patton buys him a little korilakkuma plush thats the perfect size to fit in his hand and it's even got the little beans in it and everything! it becomes his go to stim toy when he needs to calm down

and YEAH lots of feelings but to summarise: rilakkuma and kaoru is so so cute pls watch it, good for bby vee because soft, good for roman because art, roman has adhd and hyperfixates on the artform for a couple weeks before moving onto another hyperfixation, virgils special interest becomes longterm and though he is reluctant to infodump at first his family assure him its ok and they show him support through little acts and gradually he becomes more confident in it!

[minjoonalist]

Content Creator Year in Review!

Hey Hey!!! hmm actually a lot has happened this year, some i’m proud of and some not so much,,, but really its all good things so I am happy to be tagged by the cute little bear that is miss sora aka @honeymoonjin.

lets get it!

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: ummmmm I think the first creation of 2020 actually would have been Player Two. most recent? besides the one thats going to be published soon- Buzzkill.

one of your favorite creations from 2020: Definitely Player two, this has to be one of the hottest fics I’ve written and honestly who wouldn’t be a sucker for taekook.

a creation you’re really proud of: Haha again...Player Two, but in all seriousness, this fic sits close to me. After going through so much behind the scenes when it comes to an old fic I wrote... I was actually going to leave Tumblr in whole. while not everyone knows, a very close friend of mine broke my trust and interest to write. I originally planned to have Player Two out MONTHS ahead before everything happened, but thanks to some friendly advice and some of you who sent asks and messages- checking on me... it gave me some inspo to continue writing and I will be forever grateful for that. In the end, while all of you waited patiently, I rewrote everything I originally had planned for that fic and to this day, it’s definitely been my number one. It also marked my first 10k fic so yeah lol

a creation that took you forever: Player Two...but also Sway with me. Player Two took me months to rewrite after posting the Teaser- sway with me  took me a while as well but not as much. 

a creation from 2020 that received the most notes: Im so sorry lol...Player Two, I guess all those blood sweat and tears didn’t go to waste, because it’s also the most (probably the most ill ever have) notes that Ive gotten on a work. most of the time I dont pay too close attention to notes- but more so feedback when it comes to fics, however I wont lie to say it feels nice to have that many on it. 

a creation you think deserved more notes: Ummm, honestly Idk...again I don’t look too close at the notes but, I’d say Sway with me. This in itself is the longest fic I’ve ever written at almost 20k words. The only reason I feel like this fic should have had more- is really by exposure. I think at the time Tumblr never exposed this fic, because even clubs that I was in didn’t see the fic to reblog it in their Tags. I didn’t dwell on it much, so I kept the fic up for anyone who wants to read. I had plenty of feedback on Ao3!

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: I dont know about a fandom on tumblr, but an anime fandom on tiktok. I do plan to write for other groups in the future since I am now stan for some new ones. 

a creation you made that breaks your heart: PREDILECTION. this fic-...this fic was one of the first I’d ever written and it sucks that I lost the passion to finish it so early. At some point I was ready to discontinue it and not edit because of how I used to write. not to mention the angst that comes within these chapters in planning.

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: ummm Discoloration. I cant say what it is about this fic, but maybe its just be being a sucker for blonde Taetae and honestly any drabble requests you guys send me- they are literally SO FUN to do and sometimes I think about doing a drabble game if anyone is interested. 

a creation that was inspired by another one: Normally my fics are inspired by short scenes in my head, but I do have future fics that are a inspired by movies I like or songs.

a favorite creation created by someone else: Im gonna be very honest l, I’ve ready very few fics in this year but I will say some of my Talented Wives ‘The Gentlemen’ by @honeymoonjin, ‘Nothing on you’ and ‘The right of a king’ by @sope-and-shine, @missgarnet for ‘Stay’ and @sakuraguks for ‘Angel of Temptation’ , If I didnt not tag you I am so sorry, I sucked when it comes to reading this year.

some of your favorite content creators from the year: everyone that I just listed, there are others but I honestly cant think of them at the moment lol

and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: Buzzkill, If you let me and again anything I wrote that was a drabble for you guys.

tagging: I tagged most of them up above ofc if fhey want to do it except the one who already tagged me lol

[ghoulgeists]

I HAVE QUESTIONS!!! ABOUT FLINT!!!! a lot so have fun :D 4, 9, 10, 12 :) 13, 14, 17, 23, 27, 42, 44, 50, 56, 57, 59 (i think i asked this before but i forgot the answer lol), 61, 63, 67 !! also i ask about seaweed boy !! 3, 5 lol, 11, 18, 21, 30, 40, 44, 51, 59, 61, 64 !!! and a few for cadma !! 11, 19, 30, 36, 48, 53, 64, 69

UM HEWWO?!?!? THATS A LOT OF QUESTIONS! I am so excited to answer these...

Answers are under the cut! This will be... Long

Flint

4. If they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

Magic in their setting is a little different, and these questions are dnd centric, but I think I can still answer this! Flint would probably be VERY interested in divination magic, of any kind. So spells that could divine futures, locate objects, or show hidden things.

9. Do they care about their appearance? How much effort do they put into presentation?

In public, appearance is a top priority. They mingle with plenty of people whenever they can, and it's important to them that they give others a good first impression, so Flint's grooming is off the charts compared to most people.

When they're crawling around in the ancient dust of a tomb, however, the way they look isn't nearly as important as grabbing as many valuable burial goods as they can!

10. How often do they lie? What situations cause them to be dishonest?

Flint's no saint, and lies plenty enough to prove it. Most of the time it's white lies to spare feelings or to get out of doing something, but the bigger lies come when people probe about their past. It's pretty obvious they don't want people to know about who they used to be, and the bigger the secret the bigger the lie they tell to keep others off their tail.

12. Have they ever been in love?

Plenty of times! Enough to count on a few hands. It's infatuation that strikes them most often, but they have been serious on occasion too.

13. What do they dislike about themself? Why?

They dislike how weak they can often be, as well as how easy it is to take advantage of them sometimes. It drives them to take the easy way out of difficult situations no matter the cost.

14. What is something they love about themself?

They love their body! All the little details from the way their hair curls, the blue of their eyes, their stature, etc. They're very comfortable, proud, and happy being themselves! 

I think this is the first character I've ever made who wouldn't want to change anything about their body for any reason :'D

17. What do they dream about, when their dreams are their own?

Beyond gold and riches, they dream about travelling to destinations both new and old, discovery, and about what stories they'll tell when they're old.

23. How do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? How do they feel about their name?

Nicknames are encouraged, but only between close friends and significant others! They don't have any titles or labels because they're not quite that infamous. Everyone who knows them refers to them by their first name, and that's what they're comfortable with because it's what they're used to!

As for how they feel about their name, they don't have strong opinions either way. It's the name they grew up with so they can't just toss it aside, but it has bad things attached to it as well. I'd say they think it's a ledger of all their (mis)deeds, and that's about it.

27. How do they mourn?

They carry on. But they swear to do better.

42. What are three words they would use to describe themself?

Confident, gorgeous, and amicable!

44. What do they need to learn?

To stop sticking their nose into trouble.

50. Can they sing? Can they dance?

Yes, Flint can sing and sings often! They will occasionally busk for lodging funds if they are ever scarce a few dollars, and have a very soothing voice that ensures at least a few people will toss them some coins. As for dancing, it's not something they're interested in, but you could always coax it out of them you can promise you'll be a good dance partner :)c

56. What animal do they most relate to?

Probably a dog? Fiercely loyal and trusting, but with a good nose (figuratively) for who they should let in on their vulnerabilities to.

57. What makes them angry?

Injustice, and the ideology that law and order outweighs the importance of the human condition. 

59. What is a quiet passion of theirs?

While not exactly quiet, they have a passion for music! Singing and playing the guitar is one of their favourite pastimes.

61. What kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow?

This is impractical, and they also aren't exactly found in meadows, but they would go for sunflowers. Something big and bold and bright!

63. What fight has scared them the most?

They haven't gotten there yet in the story I'm building around them, but any fight where someone almost dies and they're powerless to help is always terrifying! :^)

67. What makes them laugh?

Clever jokes, outrageous stories, and the thrill that comes from doing something dangerously stupid and getting away with it.

Tangle

3. What is their goal right now?

Two things: serve their unfathomable god to the best of their abilities, and get sweet, delicious revenge on the fishermen that almost killed him. The former is his current priority, because he knows he has plenty of years to hunt down his would-be murderers. Revenge is a dish to be savored :3c

5. Do they follow a higher power? What are their thoughts on divinity?

Before he met his patron the only thing he was concerned about was surviving. There's no time for gods when you're eking out a poor life in some nowhere village, after all!

After meeting his patron, there is honestly nothing in this world he could devote more time and attention to. So their relationship with higher powers and divinity etc all are attached by one string to a single entity!

11. What skills are they proficient in? Why?

Arcana, religion, and insight for obvious reasons! However he's also proficient in intimidation, because while he may look like a sweet boy he's actually kind of creepy (in an insane cultist kind of way), and that's sufficiently off putting enough that he can be rather intimidating.

18. Do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

lmao… definitely a follower.

21. Do they follow their head, their heart, or their body?

HMMM, I am not too sure about this yet, but probably his heart! He seems like he would be easily emotionally driven.

30. What do they seek out from others?

Open-mindedness! People who would be -cough- willingtosubmittotheoldgods -cough- -cough- I mean, people who won't judge him for his faith.

40. Do they enjoy poetry?

Nope! Not that he's had any exposure to the arts, though. I guess it would be more accurate to say he doesn't have an opinion :'D

44. What do they need to learn?

That he's not special, and his devotion to his god means barely a thing. He has in his mind this idea that he's some kind of glorious, special vessel through which his patron does its dark bidding, but in reality he's just a pile of meat labeled "minion." Until he learns that awful truth, he's got an ego about his position.

51. What is the most beautiful thing in the world, for them?

The rotten bones of shipwrecks stuck deep in the sand. They're a good source of materials, a home for the night, and they make lovely silhouettes against stormy seas.

59. What is a quiet passion of theirs?

It's done out of necessity, but they enjoy sewing up and mending clothes! 

61. What kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow?

Nothing specific, just any bud or bloom he can find :'D

64. Do they value mercy or justice more?

Probably justice! Although he's indifferent to things that happen to others, he is technically seeking justice for what happened to him, in his own… special way.

Cadma

11. What skills are they proficient in? why?

Athletics, performance and acrobatics because he's an active, swole boi! As well as that he's proficient in stealth and slight of hand because he is a smooth criminal, and he's also proficient in religion for a reason I cannot fathom or remember the reason for. 

19. What haunts them? What doesn’t?

Like most of my characters… the past lol… specifically, the people he's abandoned on a whim, and more pressingly his former captain, who kind of wants to spill his guts :')

What doesn't haunt him is his decisions to leave. In every instance he's left people he's found himself in a grander adventure, and he's thankful and at peace with those life decisions!

Essentially, he has the mentality that people only stay in your life for part of the journey. There’s no such thing as a lifelong partner or friend, so while he does remember people he’s left behind he thinks that charting his own course in life is more important that unbreakable bonds.

30. What do they seek out from others?

Damn good company! If you're an interesting person in any capacity Cadma will probably take a shine to you. He can't stand a stagnant lifestyle, and wants to surround himself with people who will bring adventure into his life.

36. What’s a secret they’ve kept?

It's not exactly a huge secret or anything, and anyone with eyes can tell because he has scales, but Cadma is very hush hush about his dragon ancestry and blood. It's caused him no end of troubles and he'd really rather people see him as a person rather than the inheritor of a rare bloodline.

48. What do they see in their future?

Adventure, and lots of it. Maybe a couple near death experiences too, which he is not so keen on but it comes with the job :')

53. Which is more frightening to them: day or night?

Night. Visibility is low and it's too quiet. Fires burn too bright. You have to let your guard down eventually. 

It's not a fun time.

64. Do they value mercy or justice more?

Definitely mercy! Cadma believes in second chances, and sometimes thirds. He's needed his fair share of them, so everyone else deserves chances too

69. How would they describe their party members?

Good fun and better friends! He's never been with people so easy to latch onto emotionally, and MAN is he attached to them…

---

Thank you so much for the ask, ilu!! It's so much fun talking about my characters, I love them a lot and the opportunity to get it off my chest has been really nice uwu

I am still accepting asks! And I finally have a page with links to my character's tags, in case anyone wants to peruse!

pwease... talk to me...

[toonqueen]

DARK ANIMANIACS/TINY TOONS LORE

It's 9 am time for dark Warner sibling thoughts

First let's roughly establish:

-The warner siblings locked in the tower takes place in the same universe as Roger Rabbit.

-Tiny Toons, though not interacting with non animated  humans, takes place in the same universe as well. It does have the same fourth wall break that toons are actors since they're going to school for it.

-Bonkers and House of Mouse also exists in this universe but that's a detail I won't get to today.

This is written without doing research, just based on my memories of eps so things may be off. Woo.

Main plot  of the Warner siblings is that they were too wacky probably didn't fall in line to act to produce shows, pranked everyone, so they were locked up in the studio water tower. FROM LIKE THE 30'S TO THE 90'S JAYSUS. Though I believe there were some flashback eps where they broke out in the past. Lets roughly say from the 70s to 90s it had been completely silent in that tower. And that's kinda creepy.

BECAUSE TINY TOONS establishes toons can fade away if they are forgotten. There was an ep where Babs was looking for a female mentor. She finds old black and while films of a forgotten 1930s lady toon  that no longer exists cuz I remember it is stated that she faded away because she was forgotten. There was also an ep where the Dodo bird was captured by a villain and started to fade because while imprisoned he couldn't be wacky so he was literally fading away.

So did the human WB studios get so annoyed with the Warner siblings they locked them away to disappear- pretty much the toon form of a death sentence? Damnnnn. But then, they don't lock them away in some vault in the basement. No, they lock them away in a water tower that is seeable from  anywhere on a studio lot. Why?

TO SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHER TOONS. To be a threat if you don't stay in line and make us money you can suffer this same fate of not being seen by humans and forgotten and then fade away. 

HOLY HELL.

Anyways this next part was written late at night due to too much caffeine: 

Now let's get back to Tiny Toons for a moment. What I remember from the ep that covered the kids and school origin was some animator had made some of the Tiny Toon’s villains first but they did not like the show premise he pushed or something? Anyways, he creates Babs and Buster bunny with Bugs bunny in mind. (No relation, all three of them. ha.) He creates the other kiddo versions of Loony Toons? GOD REMEMBERING THIS IS LIKE A FRIKKING ACID TRIP. Anyways, the kids make a ruckus? Bugs and maybe Daffy show up? Bugs just makes the University that the kids can go do. Like I bet he literally just painted it on a map and then it exists like the freaking elder god level powers well known toons have like DAMN. So thats how that all went down in show. 

Now my headcanon is that Daffy probably at first didn’t want to go along with this whole, ‘lets have this school for these new kid aged toons and be their teachers and we’re kinda responsible for them now.” lol since Babs and Buster was made with Bugs in mind, Daffy can make the side comment of something like, “Why am I responsible for your accident babies?”  Now the funny answer Bugs can give is something like, “Well there’s a duck that there too that has your eyes.” the more serious answer Bugs can give if he is irritated that Daffy is being difficult about helping is, “We don’t want another water tower incident.”

Because OH DAMN Bugs and Daffy would have been created around the same time as the Warner siblings were. And here’s the thing. Most toons are ‘created’ being adults just already. Some could argue the Warners were children. Hyperactive children with all the sorta powerful abilities that all toons have. Then they were expected to behave and make shows that were watchible to make the studio money and instead were just locked away. THATS SOME MESSED UP SHIT YO. 

So canonly Bugs made the school and headcanon he did it so the same thing that happened to the Warners wouldn’t happen to this new group of kids toons. Okay. Y’all still with me?

Okay, BACK TO THAT EPISODE where Babs finds out there is a lost female toon that would be a great mentor for her. What I remember once she saw the old reels of this toon’s stuff and found out of someone is forgotten the disappear. Just here seeing the vids doesn’t bring back this toon though.  She went to Bugs I think asking for the lost cartoons to be shown in class or something. And I remember Bugs being a HUGE jerk about it. Not helping Babs showing the cartoons. Like cold about it. Like DAMN BUGS. Anyways Babs rents? Builds? A movie theater herself and shows the cartoons. It then surprisingly brings back the lost toon in question so YAY. 

Now I don’t remember why canonly why Bugs was a dick in this episode but here is my headcanon. What if toons (At least WB toons) were lead to believe that only real humans believing in them lead to them not being forgotten and disappearing. What if this thing Babs did was a new discovery that TOONS not forgetting other TOONS could still keep them from disappearing. Bugs and Daffy would share a knowing look at this new information. One of them jokingly says, “I wonder if the Mouse knows about this.”

See something else is going down at Disney but I’m not getting into that now. Woooo.

Now let's assume soon after this incident is when the Warner siblings start getting active again, since their whole show was about them breaking out of the tower in now modern times after being locked away there for 50 years. Let's say that theater Babs made/used then started regularly showing old cartoons. Purposefully. Like a conspiracy to get faded out toons back real again. *cue X-files theme.*

BACK TO THE WARNERS PLOT.

Okay now the kids are back… mysteriously. The real human studio seems to have given up on having them be erased from memory and well, what was done in the 1930’s isn’t acceptable now so like they get that Dr. Scratch and Sniff to therapy them into good behavior??!?!?

Meanwhile while that's going on canonly I’m betting that Bugs, Daffy, and main Looney Toons crew are planning a Oceans 11 style heist to actually get the siblings out of there and to ToonTown/Acme Acres. Now they know they’d be in big trouble of the human studio knew they were behind this so they would go one step further and take the kids to Wackyland. Because while ToonTown in Roger Rabbit seemed like a place humans could go, I always got a vibe that Wackyland is this one step forward that no real human has ever stepped foot in so GOOD LUCK. 

Anyways I’m sure their plan would work. I TOLD MYSELF I WAS NOT GOING TO LOOK UP ANYTHING WHEN WRITING THIS BUT I HAD TO CHECK SOMETHING. Daffy was created in 1937 and Bugs was 1940 so even though Bugs is the brains of the operation and the more popular one and has better skills Bugs needs Daffy to make first contact with the Warners because Daffy was the only one that had known them before the whole water tower lock away incident. Like he is the one that has to be, “Hello Fellow kids, how about you -uh come with us.”

Once everything goes right and blows over they would either introduce the Warners to the school OR have them stay in Wackyland and ‘homeschool’ them.

Also rewind there are two things that could have gone on with the Warner siblings in the tower. A: They were around the whole time from 1930 to 1990 and did not fade away because they had each other. Since they didn’t have much exposure to the real world they still are toons that are kids. Or B: They had faded away for decades, came back because a duck and bunny plotted to have their shows shown to new toon crowds. <_< They came back but have no really emotional scarring from it because they don’t remember it.

NOW EVEN DARKER LORE:

But okay Yakko always gave me this strange- offness sometimes, in the show. He’s the oldest sibling of course so the only one out of three that seems to sometimes make mature decisions. I mean, as much as these three can. 

NOW IN THAT CANON BABS EP with her finding a mentor, get this- I remember from that old cartoon the toon that disappeared was from her male counterpart in the show was still around. Had not completely disappeared yet?!?!

What if- what if Wakko and Dot had disappeared in that long period in the tower but Yakko, being the oldest and still vaguely remembered, was all alone on that tower for decades. SHIT DAMN FFFFFF.  He seems completely okay but like, Bugs or Daffy pick up that something is off? Like hey kiddo, everything okay? Man I think Yakko is so elated and happy his siblings are back he doesn’t even realize he might have some bad feels.

I don’t know where I was going with this its time for bed. Bleh. 

[xennariel]

A teacher friend of mine posted this on FB and now I understand the covid-19 world reaction much better. The current virus sucks, but researchers are REALLY worried about mutation. The more people who catch it, the more mutations. The most dangerous people? The young, because they don't know they're contagious and they're spreading it.

WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, PLEASE READ:

 Feeling confused as to why Coronavirus is a bigger deal than Seasonal flu?  Here it is in a nutshell. I hope this helps. Feel free to share this to others who don’t understand...  

It has to do with RNA sequencing....  I.e. genetics.

Seasonal flu is an “all human virus”.  The DNA/RNA chains that make up the virus are recognized by the human immune system.  This means that your body has some immunity to it before it comes around each year...   you get immunity two ways...through exposure to a virus, or by getting a flu shot.  

Novel viruses, come from animals....  the WHO tracks novel viruses in animals, (sometimes for years watching for mutations). Usually these viruses only transfer from animal to animal (pigs in the case of H1N1) (birds in the case of the Spanish flu).  But once, one of these animal viruses mutates, and starts to transfer from animals to humans... then it’s a problem,  Why? Because we have no natural or acquired immunity.. the RNA sequencing of the genes inside the virus isn’t human, and the human immune system doesn’t recognize it so, we can’t fight it off.

Now.... sometimes, the mutation only allows transfer from animal to human, for years it’s only transmission is  from an infected animal to a human before  it finally mutates so that it can now transfer human to human... once that happens..we have a new contagion phase.  And depending on the fashion of this new mutation, thats what decides how contagious, or how deadly it’s gonna be..

H1N1 was deadly....but it did not mutate in a way that was as deadly as the Spanish flu.    It’s RNA was slower to mutate and it attacked its host differently, too.  

Fast forward.

Now, here comes this Coronavirus... it existed in animals only, for nobody knows how long...but one day, at an animal market, in Wuhan China, in December 2019, it mutated and made the jump from animal to people.  At first, only animals could give it to a person... But here is the scary part.... in just TWO WEEKS it mutated again and gained the ability to jump from human to human.   Scientists call this quick ability, “slippery”

This Coronavirus, not being in any form a “human” virus (whereas we would all have some natural or acquired immunity). Took off like a rocket.  And this was because, Humans have no known immunity...doctors have no known medicines for it.

And it just so happens that this particular mutated animal virus, changed itself in such a way the way that it causes great damage to human lungs..

That’s why Coronavirus is different from seasonal flu, or H1N1 or any other type of influenza....  this one is slippery.  And it’s a lung eater...And, it’s already mutated AGAIN, so that we now have two strains to deal with, strain s, and strain L....which makes it twice as hard to develop a vaccine.

We really have no tools in our shed, with this.  History has shown that fast and immediate closings of public places has helped in the past pandemics.  Philadelphia and Baltimore were reluctant to close events in 1918 and they were the hardest hit in the US during the Spanish Flu.

Factoid:  Henry VIII stayed in his room and allowed no one near him, till the Black Plague passed...(honestly...I understand him so much better now). Just like us, he had no tools in his shed, except social isolation...

And let me end by saying....right now it’s hitting older folks harder... but this genome is so slippery...if it mutates again (and it will). Who is to say, what it will do next.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

cats the movie was created by the mafia and here's why

so since one (1) person said that they still wanna hear this theory imma post it

first, the reviews of cats are so mixed, it's confusing. im not even sure if everyone is talking about the same movie. lets look at some of the more wild ones:

but then i found these two:

both of these reviews (the second one especially) explicitly mention celebrities, which, made me think of a conspiracy theory

i once watched a video (i think it was a shane dawson one) where he discussed how people believe that it could be a possibility that the government uses celebrities and their scandals to distract the population from their wrongdoing and general mishaps. that being said, lets unpack what we know about cats:

-cats themselves (as in the animal) are generally very cute and people find them funny. it is commonly perceived by some that the internet - youtube specifically - is “that place with the cat videos” and people are very entertained by them (think about tik toks, twitter and tumblr threads, vines, and ig accounts) and even interact with cats if they happen to be allergic to them. it is safe to say that the human population has somewhat of an obsession with cats. 

-cats the musical is generally misunderstood by a lot of people. i have never actually seen it but from what i understand its a musical about cats competing to see who will die and theres one good song (memory). the internet has gone about about “what the heck is cats even about” for many years before the movie came out in the form of memes and other random internet jokes.

and now lets address the us government. right now most people agree that its plenty shitty for various reasons. even people in other countries Dont Get It. (im not going to get too into it because chances are if you have an internet connection you've heard about the shit the us government has done recently)

now. onto the movie itself. (hang onto your hats this is where it gets wild)

according to google, cats is a british american film. it is a well known fact that america was originally colonized by the british and we gained our freedom in 1776 (i really hope thats not news to you) but the war didnt end until the british surrendered at yorktown in 1781 and the treaty of paris wasn't signed until 1783. the british were notoriously salty afterwards, continuing to pirate american ships and do other generally annoying things which resulted in the war of 1812. it was not until after the war of 1812 (which officially ended in 1815) that the british recognized america was independent and actually started respecting them. britain and america were also allies and have famously teamed up to stop people from taking over the world (ie ww2 amongst others).

youre probably wondering what the hell this has to do with cats. stick with mw, we’re getting there.

in the weeks after the 2016 election, there were many memes circulating the internet along the lines of this:

needless to say, it was a wild time for america. 

now, admittedly, britain was Also in the midst of their own wild time because of brexit, but somehow the election results managed to kind of overshadow that (at least in america). 

so lets review some Important Dates:

-june 23, 2016 -> brexit is proposed

-november 8, 2016 -> 2016 election

-march 2017-> britain formally announces leaving the eu

additionally, in 2016 the worlds biggest superpowers were (in order) the us, russia, china, india, and the uk.

now, onto my theory.

the mafia has always notoriously been trying to be stopped by the government for their crime and is a strange organization with a lot of money. the mafia Does still exist although mostly in new england. since 2016 there has been a disconnect between the government and the people due to the staggering amounts that do not support the current president. the mafia may have seen this as an opportunity to overthrow the current government/president and cabinet and place their own person there so that they wouldn't get as much shit from the government. 

this theory does get a little bit complicated regarding the presidents suspected ties to the mafia. however, the mafia is very powerful and i have no doubt that they could have somehow blackmailed trump or implemented false records in order to depict the president falsely. or they could have tricked the president into working with them in order to gain secrets to help them overthrow him. the possibilities are endless. 

so in the time between the 2016 election and when britain formally announced leaving the eu, the mafia probably had some time to scheme a little, thinking up possible ways for them to overthrow the government. 

after britain announced leaving the eu, someone in the government must have realized that it was making britain widely unpopular and they should do something to clean up their image. so they take a peek around and happen to notice that america is royally fucked cause of the president and there are people threatening to move to canada cause of it.

but why is any of this of importance to britain?

well, britain used to be the top world superpower before ww2, but then were beat out by america both after the war and when they announced nsc 68, a plan to make amerias military stronger and provide aid to american allies being threatened by communism. although britain and america stayed allies, it is likely that britain may have been a bit salty about this. and, if they could somehow get rid of trump and weaken the country this may bump the us from the lead world superpower and (if they were lucky) also russia and china who the president was more or less involved with.

low and behold who has the same desires? the mafia.

so the mafia and britain team up to defeat the us government. but how will they do it?

my friends, that is where cats comes in. 

as stated, the government has previously used celebrity scandals to cover up and distract from their own. the mafia and britain would not have wanted to make this seem like anything out of the ordinary, so they decided to implement this form of distraction, but twisted it into grotesque exposure. but they needed a vehicle in which to use this

if you refer to my information on cats from before, american people love cats and cats the musical is a somewhat loved classic that makes little to no sense. additionally, theater fans have recently been calling for screen filmed shows so they dont have to spend lots of money on tickets (see newsies live and bandstand) so in order to pass this off as normal they chose to use cats.

howmst ever, they needed to make the american people not like cats anymore so that they wouldn't be easily distracted by them. how to accomplish this? make the cats in the movie cgi celebrities. 

the celebrity lineup of the movie is quite impressive, containing the following:

james corden, judi dench, jason derulo, idris elba, jennifer husdon, ian mckellan, taylor swift, and rebel wilson. 

these celebrities were all chosen for the type of audience they would draw in so that it would be as vast as possible. (old people, young people, middle aged people, etc).

the mafia paid these celebrities handsomely and coerced them into being in the movie. 

now, lets discuss the timeline. 

the movie itself premiered on december 20th and the mafia and britain would have begun creating it as soon as march of 2017. scripts take up to 12 weeks to write, putting them at june of 2017. pre production takes 10 weeks, putting them at about halfway through september 2017. it takes about an average of 10 weeks to film, putting them at december 2017. and, according to pixar, animating a movie can take between 4 and 7 years, however, the reviews have stated that cats only took about a year to animate the movie, putting it at about december 2018. this would give the mafia about 7 extra months for any needed editing or fixing between when they could have hypothetically started and ended the movie itself because the trailer came out in july of 2019.

they would have wanted to release the movie just before 2020 because that is when the next election takes place and they would need everyone to be immune to propaganda. 

the mafia and britain creating cats explains a lot of things such as:

-why james corden has not gone to see the movie

-why the animation is so horrifying

-why the movie was made in such little time

-why the celebrities in the movie are actually in the movie

-why the budget was able to be so large if it was an epic flop

-peoples general confusion as to why the movie was even made

see, they would have known that even if not a lot of people saw the movie, it would have made headlines just because of how bad it is, terrifying people of both the celebrities in it (remember this includes james corden, a prominent talk show host and taylor swift, one of the top song writers) and of cats themselves.

in conclusion, cats was filmed by the mafia and great britain in an attempt to overthrow the us government.

be careful who you vote for in 2020.