#the temperature at this time of year was also slightly outside what my sleeping bag was rated for. and it turns out thats important LMAO

[lokh]

Okay, I won't lie NSW is more than slightly outside of my area of expertise when it comes to camping but the basics are the same anywhere. You said you have a tent and bag and some gear so we're not starting out at baby beginnings.

Step one, check the forecast. If its gonna be a heat wave or a cold snap or pissing rain wouldn't it be nice to know that before you're sitting miserable in a tent in the middle of nowhere? Plan accordingly, pack accordingly and you will be amazed how much you can deal with if you're prepared for it. Personally I have a nice rainshell with me at all times because it acts as a windbreak, water barrier, and exposure layer. I have taken a rainshell into the mojave desert where it never rains and I was right to do so because the wind got cold. I have occasionally been the overprepared dork, but I have more often been the only one not getting hypothermia.

Step two, know where you're going. As in, what to expect not just physically where it is. Are there restrooms? Water? Animals? Poisonous/stabby plants? Poisonous/stabby bugs? Other campers? Poisonous/stabby campers? Hazards? Cell service? Emergency services? Gas stations? Can you safely have a fire? Can you toast/grill your food or are you having cold dinner?

Step three, pack the most obscenely overdone toiletries kit you can imagine. Yes, this is actually important. My god, human bodies are messy. All your basic overnight goodies and then add sunscreen, bug dope, wet wipes or something similar, your own toilet paper and something to dig with if you're going out past available restrooms, and a small first aid kit. The kit doesn't have to be a full triage supply, tweezers, bandaids, antiseptic and maybe some gauze if you're clumsy. If you are gonna be doing a lot of walking/hiking I also recommend moleskin for blisters. Put the moleskin on BEFORE the blister pops.

Step four, look at the forecast again, assume it's wrong and pack for the worst weather possible. You need a dry pair of socks and undies. You need long sleeves and a spare shirt. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you will sweat through the day and get damp and if you sleep in the same thing you've been wearing you will get chilled. This is why every one says no cotton for camping, no matter where you are. I have a full change of clothes for sleeping so my day clothes can air and dry overnight.

Step five is food and its really each to his own for this one. If you're hiking out you will be more limited as far as weight/refrigeration, but thats somewhat of a trial and error thing. Freeze dried meals have their place but there is no reason it has to be your go to. Remember your water and remember that if you sweat and replace it with nothing but water you will be hurting. Powdered drink mix is your friend. If you're car camping and tenting next to the car I just bring a 5 gallon jug of water that stays in the car and refill waterbottles as needed. (Note: Senshi from dungeon meshi isn't actually an unattainable fantasy, you can cook a full scale meal in the backcountry if you really want to. It is several magnitudes more difficult than you would think if you are used to cooking in a kitchen, but it is possible.)

Step six is assessing your gadgets. If you want your phone you probably need a power pack to charge it. You will want a flashlight for the dark, not your phone, not glowsticks. If you want a camera you have to figure out how to carry that with you. You also need to figure out if you have cell service and a way to call for help. The more intense you get into this, the more you should look at getting a GPS or inreach/spot device, especially if you want to go alone. This is also a good time to come to grips with the falliblity of technology and get a paper map.

Step seven is for sleeping arrangements, which you seem to have covered. My rip is to set up sleeping stuff as soon as you get to where your making camp, so that way your bag has a chance to loft and your aren't fiddling with stuff sacks in the dark when your tired. And drunk if you're party camping. Open the sleeping bag before the tequila. Also a sleeping pad will protect your bag and also your joints so you don't wake up feeling like Rip van Winkle.

Have fun, be safe, don't be a dick and clean up after your self at your campsite. Sleeping in the dirt is a great time and I hope you enjoy your trip.

thank you so much!!!! i had a great trip but it wouldve been better if id followed your advice more carefully LMAO

[khae-writes]

cozy [ sabo/reader ]

tags: modern au, sabo/female reader, fluff, romcom, confession, 3.1k words

header

        The day had been going abnormally slow. It was even worse when the temperature was so low that you had to dive under multiple layers of comforters just to feel all warm and cozy.

It was early into January, just a week after New Year’s and the season was as freezing as you’d expected it to be.

Classes were suspended for a good week extra as well due to reasons you were never told about and you simply assumed it was because the faculty themselves didn’t want to do any work at such a cold month and especially not have to tolerate noise in this peaceful weather. There was no snow outside but it was still pretty foggy outside. You directed your attention back to your TV, listening to the main protagonist of your favorite series talk.

Your eyes were drooping to a close and you couldn’t help shaking your head vigorously, getting off your comfortable position on the couch, kicking off the many covers and slouched all the way to the bathroom, splashing clean water onto your face which thankfully woke you up.

Nothing had been so out of place today and the cold was practically asking you to listen to it lulling you to sleep. You would’ve let yourself fall into slumber as quick as it beckoned you to, but you promised yourself from literally just yesterday that you were going to do as much productivity like maybe hone your skills in arts, read your textbooks in advance so you won’t be lagging behind everyone in your class, or maybe exercise or something — just literally anything that involved you getting a major benefit out of.

A knock on your door immediately puts you out of your dazed misery and you scrambled onto your feet to get the door. You don’t recall making plans with anyone today, did you? You shook the thought off and pulled the handle, pleasantly surprised to see the familiar face.

Sabo stands in front of you, his height as tall as it was the last time you’d seen him — he was dressed in a simple long-sleeved white shirt whereas the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He also had a navy-blue jacket wrapped around his figure to keep him from getting cold, some jeans to go with and of course, sneakers that he’d received as a gift from you a year ago. His wavy blonde locks parted mid on his forehead and the ragged scar that you, for some reason, loved was still visible, a small gentle and charming smile glued onto his face and his ocean-blue eyes that looked down at you with excitement.

You blushed slightly; he really was handsome.

“Hey,” he breathed out before raising a little plastic bag that was in his right gloved hand, “I brought snacks.”

You stepped aside, letting him in with a chuckle. “I can’t say no to free food now, can I?”

He shrugs, grinning. “Figured you’d say that.” He slips off his converse and places them neatly on the shoe rack, walking inside with an enamored expression the more he looked around. “You’ve really given this place a makeover.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile unable to drop from your face. “I had a lot of free time since you moved out.”

“You became more responsible as soon as I left?? Man, I must’ve been detrimental to your growth as a person!” He joked, receiving a sardonic laugh from you.

“Ha ha,” you shake your head, chuckling, “well, make yourself at home. The furniture in the kitchen’s still the same so have fun rummaging around there. Luffy and the others are always busy, so I could never get the chance to ask them to help me move some of the heavy load around.”

Sabo hums, making his way over to the kitchen counter and take two clean bowls out of glass and two spoons. “So, what have you been doing?”

“Shouldn’t that be my question for you?” You rose a brow.

“Hey, we haven’t had contact in a while—I think the question goes for both of us.” He smiled at you, dividing half of the tub into one bowl and then the rest in the other.

You smiled back, “I guess so.” You made yourself comfortable on the couch, wrapping yourself into a burrito once more with your many layers for blankets. “Well, to answer your question, I haven’t really been doing anything. I mean, same old, same old—I wake up, take a bath, eat breakfast, go to school, study, bla bla bla.”

Sabo snorted at your bland description. “Really now? No dating, new roommates or crazy frat parties or anything?”

You pretended to think, humming in thought before giving him a closed-eye grin, laughing. “If you count Luffy and his friends coming by once in a while to eat, then I’d say that’s pretty crazy.”

“Booooo! That doesn’t count!” Sabo heckled, giving you a thumbs down at how boring it’s been.

Sabo was your previous roommate and your closest friend. Although he was a year higher than you and had graduated already a year ago, you two remained connected. He had moved out of Gol City and off to Baltigo to pursue his own dreams of being a lawyer. And you believed he was going to be the best there was out there.

You giggled, “Alright, alright, well, do tell the host why a handsome young man decides to suddenly pop by for some snacks? Mind letting me know?”

This time, it was Sabo that pretended to think before shooting you a fake distressed expression. “I’m sorry but I do mind.” You both just laughed, the sound of you two’s laughter echoing across the dormitory room you used to share with him. “Okay, for real, I guess I just felt like seeing you?” He smiles softly, finally walking over to you and joining your spot on the couch.

He pushes you slightly, gently moving you over to give space for him to sit on before handing you a small bowl of vanilla ice cream. You narrowed your eyes at the cold treat, giving him an unamused expression. “Ice cream at this season? You’re kidding.” You deadpanned, knowing that this was exactly one of his dorky habits.

Sabo simply shrugs, “I kid you not. Take it before it melts into a gooey puddle.” You grumbled under your breath and took it anyway, shivering some more when you felt the cold treat on your tongue.

“Anyway,” you cleared your throat, moving to the far end of the sofa, a teasing grin on your face, “’you felt like seeing me’? That’s so lame! Did you lose a bet or something? Maybe Ace dared you to do this!”

Sabo only smiled. “No, I just,” he turns away slightly red at what he was about to say next, “… I just really missed you.”

You went quiet at his confession, feeling your heart pick up its pace. There was no denying that you’d definitely developed a crush over this gorgeous young man — he was literally every girl’s dream guy, after all! And you’d been so lucky to have been roommates with him for three years.

“W-Well, that’s sweet of you.” You composed yourself, averting your eyes from his awkward figure and telling yourself that he’s just a friend. He meant that platonically, nothing else.

Sabo feigned a hurt look, “What? You didn’t miss me back or something?”

You whipped your head to face him once more, cheeks puffing indignantly. “That’s not it!”

“Do tell me then.” he challenges you, not expecting you to turn red from embarrassment and cupping your cheeks. Sabo felt himself swell in pride at being the reason for your flushed expression — just a bit.

“I-I’m just embarrassed, alright? I did miss you and I still do.” You huffed, glaring at him. “Being in your company feels nice, okay? It feels better having a friend around than being here alone.”

The blonde felt his smirk disappear, curving into a genuine small smile as he scoots nearer to you. “Aww,” he coos, “you’re still such a baby!”

You glare at him, red from embarrassment, “No! I’m not a baby!”

“Sure you are!” He teases.

“Noooo!” You pathetically whined, punching his shoulder with your left fist lightly. “If anyone here’s a baby, it’s you! Seriously? Ice cream for a snack?”

Sabo, this time, felt a fire twinkle in his chest as his eyes lit up at the start of this stupid and pointless roleplay. “Ice cream is good!” He defended, “Not only is it cold and perfect for relieving stress but also sweet and helps cool off the brain!”

You snorted, going along with the skit you two were playing. “We all know the big boys have chips and fries for snacks now! Mr. Sabo, I’m so sorry to tell you that you are cancelled!” You laughed, chortling at his defeated expression.

“N-No way! It can’t be!” He faked a gasp. “But madame (Y/n), you also ate ice cream when you were younger, didn’t you!? This is such a scandal! Charging against a childhood treat? You know this goes against the law!” He dramatically weeps.

You pull up a believable shocked face, “No! You must’ve heard me wrong! A-As I do enjoy ice cream, its gloriousness can’t ever match up to—”

“And there we have it! The debate has ended!” Sabo hollers, raising his arms upwards and pointing accusingly at you. “You, (L/n) (Y/n), are a perpetrator and the mastermind of this heated debate! How dare you frame someone else, an ally of yours, nonetheless!”

“No! Believe me, Mr. Sabo, it is I who has been framed!”

“We’ll take it to court, madame!”

After that confusing and pointless act you two just pulled, you fell back and started bursting into laughter. You both had silly grins on your faces and you really missed his company. It was like he never left at all, like he had been there for a year more.

After that, you two just resorted to talking, eating your cold treats and sharing stories of how life had been treating one another. It was peaceful and you wanted nothing to interrupt this moment of peace. It felt so serene and nice, it felt right and you knew Sabo was enjoying this too — time with you.

It was goofy moments like these with your blonde companion that made university so much more worthwhile; tolerable. It was with him that you appreciated free time more and learned to balance out studying and habitual activities for yourself. It was with him that you became wiser and more forgiving; that you began to acknowledge others and start working with a goal in mind. It was with him that you started to become more passionate — you really were grateful for Sabo.

Your laughter had died down into little giggles, pulling up the blankets and your knees up to your chest, resting your upper limbs on your legs as you looked at the blonde with a calm and relaxed face.

You observed his features — down from every strand of hair, to the slight pink of his lips. He really was handsome. Blonde, blue eyes, finely dressed no matter what, personality was an eleven out of ten — he was… amazing.

Without thinking straight, you’d crawled over next to him, dazed. “Sabo,” you called for his name softly, the smile on your face never disappearing.

The blonde turned to you, his boisterous laughing dying down as well as he noticed how serious you looked. He gulped, inaudible. “Yeah?”

You feel your heart beat so fast and so loud, you felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. But, it was now or never. You either sit in regret for the rest of your life or you jump at the opportunity.

And like Ace always said, “Live a life with no regrets.” This was it.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

You hear his breath hitch and his grip on the ice cream bowl and the spoon paired with it had tightened. You had different scenarios playing out in your head like a broken record, reminding you what sort of imagery you were expecting after that sudden confession.

You expected him to walk out, leave you rejected and never contact you again.

He would return your feelings.

He would reject you politely, telling you that he sees you only just a friend.

Laugh it off, tell you to stop joking around.

Good lord, you hoped it wasn’t the last one.

You were fine being friend-zoned or being walked out on but being told that you were joking around with your feelings and being made fun of for saying such things — it pissed you off a lot.

Your blood suddenly turned cold, seeing his lips twitch into a smile before slowly bursting into laughter. Your own lips twitched feverishly at his reaction; was he making fun of you? No, that wasn’t it. There was a pinkish tint to his face that you immediately recognized was a blush, though if it were someone else (Ace, for example), you might’ve dismissed it as them genuinely making fun of you because they were just that dense.

But you knew Sabo wasn’t oblivious, unlike his brothers.

You laughed with him, albeit strained and forced. “W-What’s so funny?” You feel your arms crumble — your only support for keeping your body up hovering over his, they were slowly about to break. “I’m serious.” You struggled to keep a straight face, unable to show the hurt you were feeling.

“I-I know, I can see that—i-it’s just—!” He laughed again, inhaling and exhaling to calm himself down, trying to get back his voice and looking at you with a gentler look.

“Are you good now?” You couldn’t help the sass in your tone of voice, looking away from him out of spite.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Sabo chuckles.

“… if you’re just going to laugh then—”

You were cut off at the new weight slithering around your waist, and all strength you’d kept in your arms had fallen down, your body meeting Sabo’s as he wrapped his lean arms around your figure. Your bowls of ice cream had been settled onto the coffee table in front of the couch, your body flushed against his comfortably.

“I was laughing because it felt unreal.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, your nose scrunching bemusedly. “It’s pretty hard to believe the girl I’d also come to grow feelings for returning my affections.” He finishes, smiling awkwardly but also happily.

In a matter of seconds, you felt your face burn from embarrassment. “O-Oh,” you muttered out, “that’s all?”

His arms were still tightly wound around you, embracing you and delicately snuggling his nose by the crook of your neck. You feel him smile on your skin, his breath fanning over you as he releases a deep chuckle. “We haven’t seen each other in a whole year—I’m shocked.”

“You’re a very hard person to forget and let go of, Sabo.” You mumbled, bashful.

“Ahh, you’re really cute…” He couldn’t help the goofy grin on his face as he sees your flustered expression. He pulls you closer to him, his body emanating enough body warmth for both you and him — a perfect temperature for this cold. “You… you’re in love with me—that’s what you said, right?” You feel his heart pulsate under your palms, his hold on you tightening slightly, but making sure not to crush you with his strength.

You nodded timidly, shy under his caring gaze.

“… I think I’m in love with you too.” He exhales, before his eyes met yours. Those blue pools of his for eyes that bore into yours, loving and relieved, his eyes casting just slightly downwards to your lovely inviting lips.

And slowly, he leaned in. Your lips brushing against his just for a still moment; you feel your heart race rapidly. This was the moment you’d been waiting for, wasn’t it? It was a delicate experience, a memorable one, an unforgettable one and something you wanted to cherish until your very last breath.

“May I?” His voice pulls you back to reality and you could only respond ‘yes’.

In an instant, his lips met yours — it was soft and sweet, he felt warm on your own and you felt your body burning like crazy from the intimate physical affection. You had never kissed anyone before, but you were damn glad it was Sabo that turned out to be your first — and he was a damn good kisser too.

A few seconds had passed and you two pulled away before leaning in again.

A kiss. Then another. Then again. And another.

The little pecks in-between catching breaths were your remedy, the flush on your cheeks were present as you two let out tiny breathy giggles like a bunch of high-school students in love which may or may not be far from the truth.

Your hands that had lost its strength to even move earlier were caressing his cheeks softly, your right thumb massaging his faded scar. You knew how insecure he could get over it, but he didn’t pull away at your touch. You felt yourself soar at the feeling of being trusted by this young man. His hands, on the other hand, were around your waist and the other was just resting on your back. You shuddered at the feeling of someone’s else’s hands on your waist at first, but you instantly relaxed. The more he rubbed smooth circles around the small of your back, the easier you felt comforted.

You looked at him, silent and still.

He looked so ethereal — unbelievably handsome, unrealistically sweet; he was every woman’s dream guy yet you were the lucky girl he’d chosen to be with. Whether you two spend an eternity as lovers or not, you were all snuggled up on his chest, adoring the warmth he provided.

He awkwardly asks in-between another kiss. “Wait, does this make you my girlfriend? 

“Well, you never asked…” You grinned at him, seeing his face bloom red at the realization.

“Oh fuck, you’re right—!” He cursed, worried. “(Y/n)—”

You cut him off, smirking. “Sabo, be my boyfriend?”

The blonde gaped at you in horror. “Hey! You can’t just ask me out! The guy’s supposed to make the first move!”

You shrugged, your hands now wrapped around his neck, giving him one long kiss yet again — and although he was just complaining a few seconds ago, he’d easily let himself kiss you back with just as much passion, if not more.

Sabo breathed heavily, looking at you with a dazed mien. “Then I’ll have to reject your confession, princess.” He smirks as he kisses you again. “Be mine?”

You felt yourself shiver in pleasure at his use of nicknames, not really all that mad that he turned the tables on you and nodded at his request

The rest of the day may have went by slow but at least it was cozy in his arms.

[ghostwriterofficial]

The Ghostwriter (5 Chapter Sample)

Well, hello there! For my own safe keeping, I am posting the first five chapters of my work-in-progress novel, The Ghostwriter.

If you stay to read I would appreciate it greatly if you would tell me what you think in the notes!

This is my first ever novel, so I hardly know what I'm doing. Criticism, (both negative and positive) really helps me.

Cw/tw for cursing, drug reference and alcohol, as well as mild sexual references and a potential eating disorder (I promise it's not as edgy as that makes it seem)

(Also musical theater. Ew.)

Story is under the read more 》

  Chapter I

September 12th, 2012

A thin bar of moonlight crossed my face as I stared up at the ceiling, counting the cracks and then recounting them as I had been since about ten pm, which is when I gave up on television and attempted to sleep. At this point, though, I was giving up on that, too. I rolled over and checked the time on my alarm clock. 3 AM. Practically morning, I decided.

 I rolled out of the blankets and sat on the edge of my bed, holding my head in my hands. It’s better if I don’t sleep, anyway. I thought. When I slept, the dreams returned. Dark hair in the wind, bundled up in a parka, a small child. Ready for the bus, only to miss it- 

I shook my head, clearing the memory, and stood up. I stretched until my back popped and then I shuffled sock-footed down the hallway and into the kitchen.

I opened the fridge, removed the milk carton, and gave it a shake. 

“About half full,” I muttered, opening it and taking a swig. 

I set it on the counter and took a can of coffee out, along with one filter out of the bag that I kept up there. I placed it in my old coffeemaker, and then poured a spoonful of coffee inside it. I checked the water level, and noticed it was full, so I closed the top and pressed “start” before opening the cupboard where I kept dishes and grabbing my mug. It was a wedding gift from about five years ago- a cheap thing, with ‘Mr.’ printed in black serif on the outside.

 I liked it because it was just the right size, and in my experience conducted heat better than any other mug I had. I refilled the dog’s water dish and wiped my counter down white I waited for my coffee to brew. I smiled slightly when the comforting scent began to fill my apartment. Colin was sleeping on the couch, curled in a tight black ball. He wasn’t technically allowed to be there- he sheds like crazy- but I didn’t have the heart to kick him off.

 His old bones needed rest.

He stirred a bit in his sleep and I left the kitchen to give him an affectionate pat on his shoulder. He tapped his tail, very slightly, and sighed. 

“Good boy.” I murmured.

Just then, the coffee maker beeped, and I went back to the kitchen to pour myself a cup. I added some milk, and a little honey, and leaned back against my counter, mug warming my hands, as I waited for it to cool to a temperature just under the limit of what my mouth could handle. I glanced out the kitchen window, at what I could see of the sky. The stars weren’t visible- they never were, here- but the moon was.

 The first signs of dawn were beginning to appear on the undersides of the clouds, but the sky was a rich grayish black and a fat full moon shone in sharp relief against it. My brain hummed with the faintest sign of inspiration.

“Only the brightest lights are visible, but the moon is only bright because it reflects something brighter.” I muttered to myself, forgetting how hot my drink was and taking a thoughtful and artistic sip. 

I had been standing there for a second, breathing through my mouth to soothe my burned tongue, when my gaze dropped to the ivy plant on my kitchen windowsill. 

It seemed dry so I filled a glass half-full with water and poured some into the soil.

The plant was growing in the other mug in the wedding set, the one marked “Mrs.” 

I had wanted to break it when Ellie left, but I couldn’t bear to even throw it away.

At the same time though, I couldn’t stand seeing it just sitting there in the cabinet among the other mugs, as if it was just waiting expectantly for her to lift it off the shelf. I found a better use for it where it is now: on the sill, with an ivy in it.

With both mugs full, I felt less like half a set, and more like… well… 

Something else.

But in a good way, I think.

I took a sip of my coffee, now at a drinkable temperature, although the pain on my tongue had not completely faded.

I sighed, and set about the long task of enduring what was left of the night.

Chapter II

I managed to fall asleep soon after, despite the coffee, despite the fact that I had been sitting in an office chair, and despite the biting cold seeping through the drafty window in my office. I had been waiting in vain for an email to appear out of thin air, but it hadn’t three weeks ago, and it wouldn’t now.

It would’ve been smarter for me to just give up, at least temporarily- rather than waiting anxiously for a sign, any sign at all, that I had a client.

Business was always somewhat catch-as-catch-can in the ghostwriting industry, but never had it been so unreliable; I hadn’t had work in months, and my funds were running painfully thin.

My clients were the rich and powerful (or, far more often, the mildly famous) who wanted an “auto” biography without having to write said material. A few days ago I put in applications to work at the nearest fast food joints, just to keep myself alive, in case i couldn't get a client before my funds ran out.

I stretched, wincing at the soreness in my back, and stood up. 

I couldn’t tell the exact time from the light outside, as the sky was clouded over, mirroring the thick blanket of fog that had crept in on me as I slept. The worst kind of weather, in my opinion.

What made it worse was the fact that I had to go walk the dog.

I went to the door and called Colin.

Immediately I heard the telltale clicking of a dog’s claws on hardwood, and the boy himself appeared in the doorway, expectant dog grin on his face.

“Walk?”

He let out a quiet woof in response and wagged his tail like a helicopter.

I smiled despite myself and grabbed my coat and his leash off the hooks by the door, and after putting them on we departed.

I cannot stand fog; it makes everything damp and obscures your vision to the point that you almost have to navigate by sound alone. 

If it weren’t for Colin, I wouldn’t leave at all when it’s like this. At least it was a distraction from my depressing lack of emails- I knew if I were inside, I’d be checking it every five minutes, and that wouldn’t be healthy, really.

I congratulated myself for being positive for once as I followed the dog through the hall and down the stairs, fishing my pockets for cigarettes. I located one loose in my coat pocket along with a cheap lighter just as we were arriving at the door.

 It didn’t occur to me until I was faced with the swirling gray in person that I might not even be able to light the thing because of the oppressive moisture in the air. It also couldn’t hurt to try. I stood under the alcove and managed to light the end and set it smoldering. I took a puff and stepped off the stoop and onto the sidewalk, allowing Colin to lead me where he chose. Despite the cigarette, I couldn’t ignore the ominous presence of the fog. I couldn’t see ten feet in front of my face, and sounds were muffled. I felt goosebumps forming on my arms as I followed my dog into the void. I told myself I was acting stupid. I mean, this was practically a phobia, and for what? Some floating water vapor?

I shook myself off and tried to think of something, anything else, like how nice it was to be outside despite the weather, and think of all the calories I was burning by walking!

Except, no, it wasn’t nice really, and I needed all the calories I got. I was already underweight, although I didn’t like to admit it. It wasn’t that I couldn’t get food per se, I just kind of forgot to eat most of the time. I never really felt hunger a lot of the time, and whenever I realized I hadn’t eaten in a while, I had to force myself to eat anyway, so what was the point of cooking? Most of my calorie content was from the shit I put in my coffee, to be honest. I exhaled smoke as I sighed.

“It never gets better, does it?” I said aloud, surprising myself as much as the dog, who turned to face me, looking concerned. It was a thought I had been having internally for a long time, turning it around in my mind like a gas station hot dog, but I don’t think I’d ever voiced it. I took a long drag and released it. Fuck, I knew I didn’t need an answer for that question. I knew the answer. Maybe it had been better once at some point, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to survive long enough for it to ever be that way again. And if I was being honest with myself I don’t think I wanted things to be the way they were. Unless I could turn back time to before shit started to hit the metaphorical fan, anything I did would be tainted by my memories. Any happiness made me feel vague guilt as it was- it might’ve eaten me alive if I let myself be happy all the time.

Maybe things got better for some people, but as far as I was concerned, things were as good as over. I had smoked that cigarette down to the filter and half finished another (a completely different brand, who knows where it came from? Certainly not me-), by the time Colin was ready to head back to the apartment. I smoked the other one down and crushed it under my heel. Instantly wishing I had more. It was less of an addiction to nicotine (although that helped), than just the desire to focus on something. I used to smoke pot, but it was one of the first things to go when I started budgeting- it just wasn’t as important as food.

If you asked me that now, I’d probably have a different opinion, but that didn’t matter anyway, because my food budget had shrunk to be far lower than what my weed budget used to be.

I stepped in a puddle and almost cried.

I squelched home in abject misery, mentally cursing God, Zeus, and the local politicians.

Colin led the way into the building, up the stairs, down the hallway, and waited patiently while I fumbled with the keys.

I threw off my shoes, peeled off my socks, and, standing there in my bare feet, decided to go the whole extra mile and just take a shower. When I finished, I put another pair of sweatpants on along with a clean shirt, and threw a hoodie over it because the apartment was cold. Slouching into the kitchen, I noticed Colon's empty food dish and poured a scoop into it for him. Hearing the tinkle of the kibble, he came trotting in from the living room, grin on his face, and began inhaling it.

I patted his head and left him to it. The door to my office (used to be a bedroom) caught my eye, and I stood in the living room with what looked like an intense internal conflict all over my face, when in reality I had blanked out and there were no thoughts going on whatsoever.  I remembered where I was and opened the door. The bulky old computer, at least half my age, sat taunting me from the rickety old desk I had picked up from a yard sale at a house a couple blocks down the road. I took a seat in my office chair and reached out a hand to boot the thing up, before catching myself.

"C'mon Jack. You know there's nothin' there…" I muttered aloud, immediately pressing the power button anyway.

I watched in sulky silence as the dinosaur of a computer struggled to boot. As it loaded itself up, I reminded myself that there was no way that there would possibly be anything in my inbox. I opened Gmail with that mindset, and I had to come to terms with the fact that it was the wrong one pretty quickly when, despite the odds, I was faced with an email. Not just any email, either- an email from a potential client, which had been sent hours ago, while I was sleeping right in front of the goddamned computer. With shaking hands I opened it and began to read.

In essence, the agent of one Ossory Black, famous Broadway actor, required someone who could write a biography for him from his point of view, without credit but with a fat stack of cash as reward. They wanted confirmation of a lunch date/interview over the phone, and had enclosed their number as an open invitation.

I felt giddy. I could live for months on that type of money, which, while the numbers had been vague at best, I was sure was a good type.

I practically scrambled to call the number, nearly dropping my Nokia several times. Which wouldn't have been a problem, but was still frustrating.

It rang three times before a disgruntled female voice answered me.

"You've reached Lilly Harper," she growled, "the fuck do you want?"

"I'm Jack Shmidt," I spoke slowly to avoid pissing her off. "The ghostwriter?"

"Oh, right." She cleared her throat and seemed to straighten herself before continuing. "Sorry about that, I thought you were… someone else…"

I had ideas about who that someone could be, but I didn't say anything.

"It's alright. You wanted to negotiate a deal?"

"Yes." She said, "But damn, have you got your work cut out for you."

Chapter III

We spoke at length about rates, before negotiating a meet time. I hung up the phone with a grin and turned to my dog, who had come over at the sound of my voice.

"We're safe now, boy!" I laughed, attempting to pick him up, before my strength failed and I gave up. I shook it off and petted him instead, but it still worried me, somewhere in the back of my mind. I was always able to carry him before, even when he was a strong young adult. Now he was old, and light, and somewhat frail and I should’ve definitely been able to carry him with ease, but I couldn’t and it made me uneasy. I went out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette.

It hit me that this book may very well be my big break, so to speak. 

Although I knew I wouldn't get any credit for the work publicly, Black was famous enough that hopefully the right people within publishing would catch wind of it. I realized then that this job was more important than just this one client- it could make or break my career.

I chuckled and snuffed my cigarette out on the wooden railing. Kind of late for that, honestly. An opportunity like this should've come a decade ago; career determining events belong in your twenties. Not that I was complaining, this way I knew I wouldn’t botch the job- I had an extra ten or so years of experience under my belt.

I pocketed what was left of the cigarette and went inside. I knew what I had to do to prepare for the project.

I spent the next three days researching the theater, so I could at least appear knowledgeable. I even found a few illegal recordings of plays circulating online, including some that Black himself had performed in. He didn’t look how I expected him to. Honestly, I was kind of expecting an older guy- after all, why would a young guy want a biography when he wasn't done having experiences worth writing about? He seemed to be in his mid to late twenties, a little younger than I was, and he had vibrant red hair. I thought I’d seen redheads before, but Ossory Black was a whole different category. I had never seen anyone with hair that shade, and my first instinct was to think it was dyed, but by the time I finished all the material I could find, I wasn’t so sure, although I wasn’t able to find any pictures of him with different colored hair to prove it.

 He seemed to own any stage he was placed on, even when he played more minor roles, which is probably the reason he wasn’t put in minor roles more than a few times, in his early career.

 I wasn’t able to find any plays featuring him in any roles, even minor ones, earlier than 2004, but I chalked that down to him only being in local performances, or more niche productions. His wikipedia page was uncommonly bare as well, which was surprising as he was somewhat of a celebrity, with a good number of fans. 

The only information on his page that I hadn’t found out myself through mere deduction was a birth date; November 1st, 1985, which meant he was 27, so I was more or less spot on when I guessed his age. I was intrigued by the incredible dearth of information relating to this guy, and found it exciting that I would be the one who would reveal his backstory to the world, and judging by the comments sections on the many MySpace posts related to him, a lot of people wanted to read it, too. 

I woke up to the alarm I forgot I had set blaring in my ears, and it took me a solid thirty seconds to remember why the fuck I had set it in the first place.

I slapped at it until it shut up and then I groaned and rolled out of bed, stretched, and trudged, bleary-eyed, into the kitchen, where I brewed myself some coffee and thought about maybe making toast. I decided against it (pretty sure the bread was stale anyway), and went into the office, where I saw my notes from yesterday and nearly spat out my drink with the shock of realizing that it had actually happened. Jack Shmidt in reality is never so lucky… until now, I guess. I gathered my notes, skimmed over them to jog my memory, and checked the time. 

“Shit.” I sighed. I needed to hurry or I’d be late. 

 I showered quickly, blow dried my hair, and shaved. Then I went to figure out what to wear. I found a sweater vest in the back of my closet, a pale blue button-down shirt, and a pair of khaki slacks.

I got dressed and hunted down my comb so I could fight the knots out of my hair. I seriously needed a haircut. Like, a professional haircut, not just the stationary-scissors trims I would give myself once my hair got long enough to brush my shoulders. I hadn’t gotten it professionally cut since my ex wife and I were emo and I wanted it fringe. I lost focus reminiscing and accidentally yanked the comb too hard.

I cursed and shook my head to dispel the pain and the memories. As I did so I noticed the wall clock out of the corner of my eye- I had fifteen minutes to get there. I cursed again and stood up, scanning the room for things I may need. I grabbed my keys, phone, notepad and wallet and shrugged into my coat. Colin heard my keys jingling and came running, thinking I was taking him for a walk.

“Sorry, buddy,” I told him, crouching so I could give him a hug,  “You can’t come along this time.” I held his face and rubbed the graying hairs on the side of his muzzle and sighed.

He was getting old fast. He had been just a puppy when Hope was born. I stood abruptly, startling the dog, and turned to leave.

On my way out I peeked at myself in the full-length mirror by the door and sighed. The idea was to make myself look like the kind of person who would enjoy theater, but I just felt like an office worker like this. I glanced into the coat closet, found my favorite knit cap, and put it on.

“Yeah, I guess this works.” I shrugged and pulled on my converse.

As I was leaving my apartment I turned to look over my shoulder at Colin.

“Bye.” I said again.

He answered with nothing but a tired sigh that ate at my heart, and I shut the door behind me, leaving him alone.

When I turned around I found myself face to face with my neighbor, Crystal.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” She asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Interview.” I said, trying to move past her.

“You finally got a real job?” She elbowed me teasingly. “Mister ‘Starving Artist’?”

“I’m the one doing the interviewing, dumbass.” I snorted.

“Ohhh…” She adjusted her glasses, (which I knew were just RealD 3D glasses with the frames popped out, but whatever). “Well, at least you’re being paid, cause the way you’ve been living…”

“Yeah… I, uh…” I nodded my head in the direction I needed to go. “I’m actually gonna be late if I don’t-”

“...Absolutely cray cray.” She continued. I doubt she had even heard me, because she was now texting someone. “Who is your client, anyway?”

“Uhhh… some guy named Ossory Black?”

She nearly dropped her phone. “Ossory Black??”

I nodded and tried to escape while she was distracted, but she grabbed my sleeve before I could get away. “Ossory fucking Black? The actor?”

“Yep. That guy.”

“O.M.G that’s cool as shit.”

“Can I go now?”

“So that’s why you’re dressed like a bargain bin Onceler.” She grinned.

“That’s the best diss you could come up with?” 

“Not really a diss, you know…” She said, moving closer. “You know I’m a Once-ling. I kinda dig the scrawny hipster aesthetic.”

I cleared my throat. “Crystal, we talked about this.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re no fun, Jack. If you didn’t want to see me anymore you should’ve moved away like I told you to.”

“You know full fucking well that that’s not happening.” I growled.

She moved away. “Sheeeeeeesh…” 

As I turned to leave she called after me,

“Hey, get an autograph from him for me, pretty please? I’m a big fan!”

The car ride was uneventful, and traffic was somewhat light, luckily, but I still ended up five minutes late. 

I locked my car, a little Honda Civic with nothing in or on it worth stealing, and crossed the rain-shiny parking lot to the little diner we had agreed to meet at. Surprisingly humble in my opinion, due to the theatrical nature of my client’s profession, but I didn’t mind either way. 

When I stepped through the heavy wooden push-door, I skimmed the tables for my client.

He wasn’t hard to find. Aside from his eye-catching hair, he seemed to exude an air of confidence that drew the eyes. Also, he was reading one of my books.

I stumbled as soon as I noticed. He was sitting sideways at the booth, leaning against the window, with my book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He took a sip and flipped the page, seeming engrossed. 

I had no idea if he knew I had written it (though if he didn’t that was a crazy coincidence), but I still scanned his face for signs of approval and willed myself to walk.

When I neared the booth he raised his eyes to meet mine. They were bright green and full of humor. I realized that I had dressed incorrectly. Black himself was wearing ripped black jeans and a dark green sweater that was unraveling at the edges, in contrast to my pale business casual.

“Good book?” I asked as I struggled to arrange my thoughts.

“Actually, yeah,” He grinned. “And who are you?”

“Jack Shmidt… I’m uh…” 

He thought about it for a moment before he realized.

“Oh! You’re the ghostwriter, aren’t ya?”

I grimaced. “Well, I wouldn’t say it out loud like that.”

He closed the book and turned to sit at the table normally.

“Eh, who gives a damn, my reputation is already shit anyway,” He said, gesturing across the table, “Have a seat, why dontcha?”

I obliged, and he continued.

“So Lil hired you to write down my life story, right?” He asked, stirring his drink, which at closer range was revealed to be not coffee, but tea.

“Ah, yes. Yes, that’s correct.” I nodded.

An elderly waitress noticed us and came over to take our orders.

“Well would you look at that, its my favorite reoccurring customer. And you've got a new friend?” She twittered. "Double the business!"

“Doris, this is Jack,” Black gestured towards me and I waved sheepishly. “He’s been hired to write my biography.”

“That’s wonderful honey, I hope it sells well.”

“Thank you kindly.” He answered with a warm smile.

“Can I getcha anything, dears?” She asked, glancing first at Ossory, then at me. 

“Just the usual, please.” Black answered

“Oh, of course. It's always potatoes with you in some way or other, you ginger."

 Watching them laugh together made me grin despite myself. 

She turned to me with a sparkle in her eye.

“And what can I get for you?”

“Oh, no thank you,” I said, shaking my head, “I’m not hungry.”

“Oh nonsense, dear.”

“No, really. I don’t need anything to eat.” I insisted, “But I would like some coffee, if you have it.”

“Suit yourself, dearest,” she shrugged, “But if you get hungry just let me know.” she gave a pert nod in my direction and shuffled back to the kitchen.

I looked down at the table and sighed quietly enough that I didn’t think anybody could hear me over the din of the diner, but when I looked up, I saw that Black was examining my face with a vague expression on his face.

“You… alright, over there?” He asked.

“Oh, totally. Just had a big breakfast, that's all.” I lied cheerfully.

He laughed. “I get it.”

I cleared my throat and changed the subject.

“Anyway, that book we were working on?”

“Oh, right, well, what is it you need to know?” He asked. “Where should I start?”

“Well, uh.” I pulled out my notebook and opened it at an empty page. “I guess, the beginning? You know, where were you born? To whom?”

“I…” He thought for a moment, closing his eyes with concentration, “Well I was born the first of November, In 1986.” He said.

“Uh huh.” I nodded. I learned that already, from wikipedia.

“I was born in Ireland, but came over the pond a long time ago, I don’t remember it much.” He continued.

I wrote that down quickly. I should’ve figured he was Irish based on his hair, and eyes, and the spray of freckles across his nose.

“Alright.” I said, when I noticed that he was waiting for confirmation.

He cleared his throat and continued on. “I came over alone, though. No parents.”

I glanced up, surprised.

“If you don’t mind me asking, wha-”

He interrupted me with a shrug. “No idea, I never saw them again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

He shrugged again. “I don’t remember them, either. It was forever ago.”

From that point on he had my pen writing constantly as he painted his story.

After he came to America, he wandered the streets of New York, where he saw his first Broadway play by sneaking in after a young well-to-do couple, the Morrison-Blakes, who offered to take him in when they discovered him trying to follow them out afterwards. 

The wife, Margaret Morrison-Blake, was infertile, and they raised the then eight-year-old Ossory Black as their own son, in their family home in Vermont. 

He was next in line to receive the Morrison-Blake fortune when his adoptive parents suddenly disappeared and he was accused of the murder, but nothing came of the accusations. At 15 years old Black was once again an orphan, but this time he ran away when the authorities tried to put him in foster care, and ended up living in an abandoned house in the ‘bad part’ of town. He didn’t go to school past freshman year.

I was enthralled. As he spoke, a far-away look came into his eyes like an old man reminiscing about old memories. 

We completely lost track of time, actually. The food was delivered and eaten, several cups of coffee were drunk, the bill was delivered and paid (Black insisted on footing the bill) and I got to see just a little bit deeper into the soul of the man who was Ossory Black than anyone else ever had… or at least, that's what I thought.

When I looked up from my notepad, I noticed the light had changed. 

He did, too, “I think we’d best continue that when we meet next.” He grinned.

“Yeah,” I said, gathering my things.

“Oh, wait- before I forget…” He rifled through his bag, searching for something. I stood back and waited, and he pulled out a wad of cash. “This is the… uh… whatever it’s called… down payment?” 

On autopilot, I reached out and took it. “Yeah, thanks.” I said, pocketing it. It looked to be a good thousand’s worth in hundred-dollar bills. I grinned.

“Also,” He looked me up and down, “You’ve never been to a single production, have you?”

I ran my hand across the back of my neck. “Well, uh… not in person?”

He snapped his fingers. “I knew it!” He exclaimed, “I kept dropping the easiest references ever and they went right over your head.” 

“Heh. Yeah, I wasn’t a theater kid or anything.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, you look like the Onceler pre-capitalism trying to pass himself off as a highschool theater queer when he’s nothing but a hipster without the mustache.” 

I had to take a few seconds to process all the words in that sentence, and by the time I was ready to defend myself he was already distracted looking for something in his bag.

He passed me a rather large red ticket, resembling a movie ticket but oversized, and what looked like a backstage pass but had “Crew” printed on it. “This is for my next show.” He said, pointing at the ticket. “It opens for the first time tomorrow, actually, which is why I have to be leaving, heh.” 

“Oh, thanks.” 

“Yeah, of course.” He thought for a moment. “I mean, after all, you can’t write about theater if you’ve never felt theater.”

“Okay, And what’s this for?” I held up the pass.

“Ah,” He grinned mischievously. “That will let you into the crew only after-party.”

I imagined what Crystal would think if I told her I’d be going to a cast party with Ossory Black and stifled a wicked grin.

“Actually, could I get an autograph? My friend is a big fan of yours.” I ripped a blank sheet from my notebook and held it out to him.

He smiled and pulled a pen from his back pocket. “Sure. Who should I make it out to?”

I thought for a moment before answering; “That chick with the mustache finger tattoo.”

He snorted and slapped the paper down on the table so he could write it down before signing the page with his name in elegant script.

 “Here you go.” He said, passing it back to me with a tip of an imaginary hat. “Good luck with that chick.”

“Thanks.” I chuckled. “Good luck with your rehearsal.”

“Much obliged.” He said, turning on his heel and walking out of the doors with extremely enviable confidence.

I shook my head and pocketed the autograph before going out the door myself. I glanced around on my way to the car, but he was nowhere to be seen.

On my way back to my apartment I stopped to deposit all of the money in the bank except for one hundred dollar bill, which I took with me to Walmart and used to buy dog food and printer ink, then I drove through the Starbucks drive thru and ordered a venti Caramel Macchiato with almond milk, no whipped cream, and three and a half extra shots of espresso in it using the change.

“Fucking hell, they made it wrong.” I sighed, taking a sip as I turned out into the rolling tide of traffic, only to be nearly rear-ended by a minivan.

“Mother fucker!” I snarled as I unrolled the window and stuck my hand out so they could see when I flipped them off. Judging by the way they laid on the horn, they definitely saw it. I quickly rotated the hand crank to roll the window back up and snickered.

When traffic started moving again, the minivan passed me and I made eye contact with the bloated, red faced, and absolutely livid middle aged man who was driving. I winked at him and he started ranting like a lunatic at his wife, who was sitting next to him with an expression of abject misery. I shuddered at the thought that I may be like them someday. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was getting older, despite the fact that I didn’t seem to have changed much since I was twenty, other than one or two concerning gray hairs that were only visible if I looked for them. Even still, time marched on. Hope would’ve been twelve if she hadn’t- 

I turned the knob on the radio all the way up to dispel the thought and nearly shattered my fucking eardrums. I sat there, watching the sea of cars trickle slowly forward, and tried to stop my shoulders from shaking while Somebody That I Used to Know blared out of my car’s speakers with so much force that I could practically feel it.

It occurred to me then that I never would be like that middle aged couple, they-

(insert deep philosophical speech where this mf over analyzes boomers)

***

I pulled into the apartment block two hours later, what optimism I had left sucked away like jello through a metal tube by New Jersey traffic. As neat of a noise as that would make, I was sad, and desperate for the cigarettes I had forgotten to buy. I lugged the groceries upstairs with great difficulty, put them away, and immediately threw off my clothes so I could change into something more comfortable. I found my favorite pair of sweatpants, an old pair with worn knees and holes in random places from Colin getting too excited as a puppy. I was pulling a hoodie over my head when a knock came at the door.

“H-hello?” I called.

“Jack, it’s me, Crystal!”

I adjusted my sweater and walked over to the door. 

“What do you want, though?” I said, without opening it.

I could hear her exasperated sigh through the door before she told me she just wanted to talk.

I opened the door and crossed my arms, waiting for her to say what she wanted to.

“So,” She grinned. “Ossory Black?”

I shrugged. “He’s pretty chill, I guess.”

“You interviewed him, though.” She said, eagerly. “You learned shit he hasn’t told anyone else before.”

“Yeah, I mean…”

“Have you started writing?”

“Chris, I just got home…” 

“Oh, right,” She thought for a second, “Didya get an autograph for me?”

I had completely forgotten about it. “Actually, yeah. Give me a minute to find it.”

Before she could answer, I closed my door and searched around a minute before finding the sheet of paper folded up in one of the front pockets of the slacks I had been wearing, where it made the most logical sense for them to be in the first place.

I opened the door again warily to find her still standing there.

“Here.” I said, handing her the paper and immediately shutting the door again.

I could vaguely hear her saying something through the door, but I pretended not to and went to find the dog.  

I found him sleeping on the sofa again and gave him a gentle pat, before sitting down at my desk to set up a more cohesive outline.

The first step was to check Black’s story, to see if any of the people he mentioned, even the ones with a vague connection, could be found and hopefully interviewed. The first people I googled were his adoptive parents, the Morrison-Blakes. Although they were dead, hopefully I’d be able to find living relatives, or more descriptive accounts of their deaths that Black himself wouldn't have been able to know or remember. Possibly even information on his immigration that would even reveal the identities of his biological parents. No matter how thoroughly I checked, though, I couldn’t find anything. I couldn’t even find evidence that the Morisson-Blakes were real people. The nearest record of people with those specific names were a couple from the 1800s, who had obviously been dead too long to have anything to do with Black.  I chewed my lip thoughtfully. It’s possible that he misremembered their names, I thought. He was pretty young when they died, and he didn’t know them for all that long, did he?

I made a note to ask Black about it tomorrow, and went to bed.

Chapter IV

I managed to sleep that night, for a few hours. I woke up at nine and made myself some cereal that I made myself eat a couple bites of before pouring the rest into the sink. I cleaned out my fridge, excavating leftovers that looked old enough to host sentient life. With no remorse, I tossed them in the trash and lugged the full bag down the stairs and out the door so I could throw them into the apartment block’s dumpster. Noticing the difference already upon reentering my apartment, I decided to do a little more cleaning. ‘A little more cleaning’ started off as just me wiping down counters and mopping the bathroom floor, and ended up with me vacuuming the curtains and throwing away decade-old tax invoices. 

I stood in my living room, hands on my hips, surveying my handiwork. 

Yeah, the furniture was mismatched, and the ceiling leaked, and the carpet was stained, but it suited me. I was mismatched and poorly put together myself. And the work I had just put in was worth it. 

“Probably about time to get ready for the show.” I told Colin, who was sitting on the couch, already dusting the blue fabric with dark hairs.

He let out a quiet woof and I forgot about the couch.

“Good boy.” I said, giving him a pat as I walked past. 

In my closet, I had a surprising amount of formal clothing.

Most didn’t fit quite right. Too big, too loose. The tuxedo I wore to my wedding, the ones I wore to friends’ funerals, the suits I used to wear to meet clients. I grabbed two undershirts and held one and then the other against my chest to figure out which would fit better. Eventually I decided on one and found an overcoat that matched. 

“Here goes nothing.” I sighed.

***

The traffic was unusually quiet and the sun painted the clouds vivid orange as it went down over the tallest buildings. I couldn’t help but smile a bit as I checked the time. If all went well, I would arrive on time- early, even. Immediately after thinking this I came up on a blockage several cars long.

“Shit, just my luck.” I muttered, settling back in my seat and sighing. The music that was playing on the radio just then was getting on my nerves, so I opened the glovebox and pulled out a stack of CDs large enough to bludgeon a man to death if put into something swingable, like a leather bag. 

Not that I had thought about using them as a weapon or anything- that was just roughly how many they were.

Unfortunately, my music tastes had changed a lot since I bought most of them. I felt a vague nostalgic sadness as I flipped through the cases and saw titles I hadn’t read in years;

The Young And The Hopeless by Good Charlotte, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge by MCR…

I smiled a little at that last one. I remembered going to a My Chemical Romance several years ago, back before the divorce. I carried her on my shoulders so she could see over the crowd, both of us high as the ceiling and having the time of our lives. I could remember that night vividly, down to the way her fishnets felt against my skin and the name of the guy we’d bought the ketamine from. I still knew the lyrics of damn near all of their songs. That was one of the last times I ever went to anything remotely like that. I found a Foo Fighters CD in the pile and popped it into the CD player. 

As traffic started moving again, I couldn’t help but smile at the situation.

Here I was, a man in a Honda Civic wearing a formal suit, listening to alt rock on my way to a musical. I was nothing but a mess of contradictions. I pulled into the theater’s parking lot only twenty minutes later and was surprised to see that it was completely full of cars. I drove in circles for a while, looking for just one empty spot with no luck before giving up and heading back out to park by the side of the street somewhere. Finding somewhere free about fifty yards away in between two cars, I swung myself into it in a parallel park maneuver that would’ve made my dad proud, if I had had one. 

I grabbed my bag and locked the door behind me. The length of sidewalk between me and the theater was obscene, but eventually I arrived at the stairs, and upon checking the time realized I was still ten minutes early.

I was pushed along by the crowd into the line for bag checks. After checking my bag, the woman behind the desk asked me if I was a journalist.

Despite being a little overwhelmed, I managed to smile back and answer, “Yeah, something like that.” As I took my things.

When I turned around, I was offered a playbill, which I took, and then I followed the crowd into the main theater.

With some difficulty, I located my seats, which were in the middle of the theater. 

I was surprised by the variety of dress in the patrons. I had expected entirely formal clothing, but many people came in dressed in casual street clothes. Fortunately there were enough fancily dressed people milling around that I didn’t feel overdressed. Honestly, I felt out of place for other reasons… I was a punk rock meth head in a place of fine art, no matter what clothes I wore. It occurred to me that this just might be what making it in life felt like. 

As I waited for the play to start, I took notes on the surroundings. The beautiful high ceilings and ornate columns that almost seemed to come from another era. I could understand why somebody would want to devote their life to this craft.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the lights dimming.

The audience drew silent as the curtains drew back…

And the stage lights illuminated him. Ossory Black.

He gave a little wave to the audience and several people waved back.

“Hello, and welcome to opening night.” He said with a grin, “I hope you enjoy it, because I know I sure will.”

Laughter.

He paced across the stage and continued- “Y’know, no matter how many years I do this for, it never gets old. Maybe this sounds funny coming from me; the newest redheaded star to appear from thin air-”

The audience seemed to be in on the joke, judging by the uproarious laughter that made Ossory crack a wicked grin in response, but I was confused as hell and made a note to ask him about it at the party. 

After they quieted down again, he continued, “- but I couldn’t imagine ever doing anything else. Do something great for humanity, they tell you when you’re young.” He shrugged.

“What they meant was for me to be a doctor or something, a politician, I don’t know…”

“But anyway, I chose to become an actor, because of course you could do your best to fight the world’s problems directly… go down tooth in nail trying to kill world hunger, or racism, or whatever your battle is, and ultimately kill yourself in the process…,” He glanced around the crowd, which was completely silent, waiting for his next words;

“Or, you can reach people, change their minds, offer them catharsis in a world constantly throwing real tragedies their way.”, he said, making eye contact with me, “And live forever.”

I looked down, chewing over his words as he wrapped up his speech.

“The production you are about to witness is one of those tales. Fine art intended to inspire, courtesy of the mind of the great Hugh Jass, who sends you his warmest thoughts from the hospital, where he is watching this live.” He looked sternly down at a group of people who had brought children and said, “That being said, remember to silence your phones, and if your children really must be obnoxious, it would be great if you could remove yourselves in order to  not ruin the immersion of everyone around you.

“That being said, sit back and enjoy the show, everyone.”

I settled back in my seat and watched as the light changed again, and the show started.

***

After the show, I followed the crowd back into the atrium, chewing over my thoughts about the musical itself. I had filled several pages with my notes on it, even though I had stopped writing about thirty minutes in. 

I noticed a crowd around a door marked Crew and realized that was probably where I needed to go. I tentatively made my way through the crowd. I had almost gotten to the door when a reporter who had been waiting for actual crew members noticed the tag of my lanyard sticking out of my bag and blocked my path.

“K18 News, who did you play?” She asked.

“Ah, nobody… I’m uh… backstage?” I said, moving past her.

She continued to block my path “Any information on the whereabouts of Black, Gladstone and Zhaoqing?” 

“Uh, no.” I lied. Actually, I was pretty sure they were still behind that door. “If you’d excuse me-”

Finally I escaped her and scanned the card for entry.

Entering the room, I found myself face to face with a couple of the most murderous looking background dancers I had ever seen.

      "We already told ya! No backstage access tonight!"

I pulled the pass out of my bag and held it out to them.

     "I'm uh… with Black?"

They rolled their eyes and shot knowing glances at each other.

      "God. Fine. Everybody's back there."

      "Uh, okay..?" 

I stepped through a pair of wooden double doors into a large lounge filled with people.

The room itself was elegant and formal. Red velvet and mahogany furniture, brass trim everywhere. I wouldn’t have been surprised if someone had told me that it was Victorian. Directly contrasting the decor were the people. They were still dressed in their costumes for the most part, clustered in groups of four or five, laughing at a volume that could only mean they were shitfaced already. Either that or they were lounging on and around the chaise lounges with blunts in their mouths. I glanced around the room, but I didn’t see Black anywhere. I did, however, notice a bar against one wall. I crossed the room and took a seat at the counter. A handsome bartender asked me what I wanted and I asked for something strong.

It had been a while since I’d drank, and when I finished that one, I had another.

Glass in hand, I surveyed the lounge again. A song by Tame Impala was playing as people sat around doing various drugs. Most I recognized, some I didn’t. 

When I was told to come to the cast party, this was honestly not what I expected.

I mean, it's a little shocking to watch a play where a person is a beacon of virtue and light or whatever, a tragic martyr, and then immediately afterwards watch the actress do cocaine off the sleeve of her dress while still in costume. I took a drink and sighed. The doors swung open and Black himself walked through wearing street clothes.

Everyone who wasn’t too incapacitated already cheered. He pretended to be flustered by the applause and covered his face with his hands.

“Aw shucks.” He said. This was met by laughter and he joined a group of the main cast members where he was offered champagne.

I couldn’t help but feel out of place when faced with the tight-knit camaraderie of these people that I didn’t know. I was almost a fly on the wall in a place I wasn’t supposed to be, except I had been invited personally. I found myself wondering why I had been invited in the first place, I mean, surely he didn’t want me writing about beautiful young actresses snorting lines of coke off their sleeves so why..? I shrugged the thought away and took another drink. Realizing it was empty, I called for another. Several drinks later, I’d damn near forgotten my name, but that was fine by me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face the person and saw that it was Black.

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” He asked with a grin.

“Gawd. Tha-thas horrid.” I said, tripping over my words a bit.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. couldn’t get any more c-clish…”

“Cliche?”

“Yeah. That.” 

“Ok,” He grinned, “Then it’s your turn. Say something cliche.”

“I’m naht wearin’ any underwear.” I confidently blurted out.

He choked on his drink and stood there coughing for a minute.

"Huh??" He stood there with a drink in his hand, puzzled.

I tried to string some words together in a comprehensible way and failed, so I just gave up. Somebody called Ossory's name and he turned towards the sound.

"Well, nice seein' ya, man." He said, slapping my back in a genial sort of way, "But I'm needed elsewhere."

I think I grunted in response, and he disappeared back into the crowd, as I disappeared back into my Screwdriver.

Bliss, probably. I couldn't tell if what I was feeling was positive or negative anymore. And at that point, I didn't care.

***

Ossory surveyed the aftermath, proud host of a party well run.

“You can tell how good a party was by the amount of vomit on the walls.” He said to nobody in particular.

The only people who were still there were the usual layabouts and druggies. Passed out in positions of varying degrees of comfort and practicality. They knew how to get home, and honestly they deserved to get stranded if they didn’t. Sitting slumped over at the bar was a figure he didn’t immediately recognize. Apon nearing the bar he realized that it was the writer. John or James or whatever. Ossory cleared his throat. No response, other than a soft intake of breath that at least let him know that the guy hadn’t died from alcohol poisoning.

“Hey man, do you have a ride home?” he asked him. 

When he got no answer again, Ossory nudged him and he grunted and opened his eyes.

“An’ his name is Jahn ceeeeeeeeenaaaa….”  He mumbled.

“Hey man, sorry to bother you, but the place is about to be closed up for cleanin’ and-”

“Hrgnnn… fuck.”

“Indeed.” Ossory thought for a second. “Yeah, you’re in no condition to drive.”

John only shrugged in response.

“Have you got someone who can come get ya?”

He shook his head slowly.

Ossory noticed James’s wallet sticking out of his back pocket and grabbed it.

Opening it, he found a driver’s license with his actual name on it, which meant that Ossory wouldn’t have to embarrass himself by asking him what his name was again, and also a family portrait, which he pulled out so he could look at it more closely. It showed a younger Jack with his arm around a young woman and a small child in his arms. Reaching its head up to look at them was a black-furred older puppy, all of them standing under an umbrella on a rainy day. Ossory was transfixed. He’d never really had a family. It just hadn’t really seemed possible for him, all things considered. 

“You have a beautiful family, Mr. Shmidt,” He said, and when Jack didn’t answer, he continued with, “Oh, I could probably call your wife to come get you, would that work?” 

He turned to look at Jack and was shocked to see that he was crying. Tears ran down his face and dripped onto the counter and he stifled a sob with his hand.

Ossory stood there for a minute, unsure of what to say, before taking a seat on the bar stool next to Jack’s.

“Hey, uh-” He tentatively reached out a hand and patted his back in a feeble attempt to comfort him.

This is weird, this is weird, this is really fucking weird. Ossory thought, as he continued to try to comfort the writer, “I’m sorry… I didn’t know, uh…”

Jack made a vaguely speech-like noise then, and he stopped patting to listen.

“Huh?” Ossory said.

“Rain… Bus… f-fog.. I…” Jack said between body shaking sobs.

He probably hasn’t cried in a really long time… Ossory realized. Something horrible happened, and it took getting blackout drunk for him to finally be able to let it out- or… some of it at least.

“Would you like to, uh, talk about it?”

“Cup.” He cried, before passing out again. There was no way Ossory was getting anything else out of him.

Ossory chewed his lip speculatively. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and dialed a number. 

“Hey, Lilly. Can you call a cab for this guy?” He waited for her answer before continuing, “And also, make sure you schedule our next meeting at a bar or somethin’. I need to get him drunk again.” 

Before she had a chance to say anything in response, he hung up and pocketed his phone

Ordinarily, he wouldn’t really care, but something prompted him to learn more about this sad loser’s backstory.

***

I woke up with my face in a puddle of vodka and my employer standing next to me with a mix of pity and impatience on his face.

“You alright?” He asked.

I sat up. There was alcohol in my hair, and on my clothes. If someone struck a match anywhere near me I would probably catch fire. It would be better for me that way, honestly, A fitting end. Burned to death in a hidden theater lounge.

Ossory cleared his throat.

“Ah, yeah,” I answered with a fake ass smile, “I’m great.”

“I called a cab for you a while ago. Should be here pretty soon, but you know how traffic can be.”

“Oh, I appreciate it, but I drove here. I can get home fine.”

He laughed. “Drunk or not, you can’t drive home smelling like you used an entire bottle of vodka as shampoo.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right.”

“I learned that the hard way.”

“Ah.”

Our conversation drifted off into awkward silence and it suddenly occurred to me exactly what had just happened. I had gotten blackout drunk at Ossory Black’s cast party and now he pitied my sorry ass enough to pay for my transport home.

“I’m not an alcoholic.” I said.

He looked confused. “I never said you were.”

My head was spinning still and I was dreading standing up because I was sure I would vomit. I didn’t answer.

“Everybody gets shitfaced every now and then,” he continued, “Honestly, if you don’t you’re a stuck up prude and I want nothing to do with you.”

“Ah.”

He paused for a moment, thinking. “So, uh.”

I turned to look at him and was surprised to see that he was struggling to come up with something to say. He looked genuinely concerned and I started to worry about what had happened the night before. I couldn’t remember shit.

“Jack, I…” He paused. “You don’t mind if I call you that, do you?” 

I shrugged.

“Alright. I just wanted to ask about….” He trailed off.

I waited for him to say something but he didn’t.

“What?” I asked, curious now.

“Nevermind. It’s not my place.”

That made me incredibly anxious, but before I had a chance to ask him what the fuck he meant by that, one of the doors opened and a security guard entered the lounge.

“Cabbie’s here.” He said and turned on his heel. The door shut behind him and Ossory turned to face me. 

“That’d be your ride. I’ll have one of my staff bring your vehicle to your home address, if you’d like.”

I bit my lip. “Yeah, thanks.”

I got off the barstool too quickly and my head began to spin. I gripped the beveled edge of the counter to steady myself.

“You good, man?”

I shook my head and gagged.

“You have like no liquor tolerance, huh?”

I didn’t answer because I was too busy trying to keep my insides from becoming outsides.

“I mean, half the people here drank more than you did last night.”

Before he could say anything else, I threw up what little I had in my stomach. I had to stand there for a second until my vision cleared. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and cursed.

“I haven’t eaten anything in a while.” I said by way of explanation.

“Oh.” Ossory said. He looked like he wanted to say more but I had already started walking to the door. He didn’t follow me.

Security came through the door again before I was halfway there and informed us that the taxi was about to leave without me.

I started to follow him out, but before I closed the door, I glanced back over my shoulder at the short redheaded actor who seemed almost stranded in the middle of the chaos. He had turned towards the bar and was pouring himself a drink.

“Hey, Ossory?” I called, and he turned around to meet my gaze, “Sorry for party rocking.”

He laughed and I couldn’t help but smile despite my aching head. I closed the door behind me and entered the desolate empty lobby of the theater. With all of the patrons gone, I could clearly see the beautiful architectural details of the interior. I felt almost like a time traveler surrounded by the opulent velvet and mahogany of another time. With reluctance I left the theater. 

The taxi was there as promised, idling by the curb. I took a seat in the back and gave the driver my address. As he pulled out into the street I sighed and propped my chin on my hand.

 That was a fiasco. I could smell vomit still, and honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure if all of it was mine. I looked out the window and saw myself reflected in the glass. The early morning sky was dark enough that I could see my features clearly.

 I looked awful. My tie was loose, my hair was tangled and sticky with drying alcohol, and there were dark circles around my eyes. All pretty normal for me, but definitely not a side of myself I wanted clients to see. Ossory had seen too much of me for my liking. I didn’t even remember much of tonight. I remember sitting down for just one drink and then getting woken up from a drunken stupor by my vaguely irritated client. I groaned. 

I couldn't believe I had been so reckless. I got blackout drunk at a cast party for a play I hadn’t even acted in. Despite what he had said, I couldn’t shake the thought that he had been put off by my behavior. It wasn’t very hard to get on the bad side of an employer, and I’d lost deals over less in the past. My thought process continued down this trajectory the whole ride back, and by the time I arrived I was certain I was going to find a strongly-worded email in my inbox. I climbed the stairs, walked down the hallway, and unlocked my door with apprehension. I gave the dog a pat and went to check my email, but there was nothing there. I breathed a sigh of relief and shut the computer off.

I peeled my liquor soaked clothes off, placing them in a bag so I could get them dry cleaned, assuming they weren’t already ruined, and took a long shower using the last of my shampoo to get the alcohol residue completely out of my hair. When I was done the bathroom smelled like a confusing mix of cheap shampoo and expensive alcohol. I left the door open in the hopes of it airing out eventually and found a pair of sweatpants and an old band tee in my room. I put them on and slumped on the couch, exhausted. The shower had settled my stomach somewhat, but I didn’t really trust myself to not vomit if left unsupervised, so I flicked on the T.V and made some coffee. The news were the strange variety that really only showed up at the witching hours of the night. I came back to the living room with my coffee and sat on the couch. Colin struggled up onto the couch and curled up next to me with his head on my thigh as I watched a barely comprehensible debate between two old men about politics. I stroked the dog’s head and sighed. Maybe it hadn’t been as bad as I thought. I mean, other people were worse. The program on TV ended and a different one came on, and, too comfortable now to get up, I sat through that one too.

------------------------------------------------------

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[specialagentlokitty]

12th Doctor x reader - Memories

Hi, if request is open, will u pls do some dw fic where u travel with 12 n clara? U got sick n miss out on one adventure with them where they ended up stranded in the future. They discover in the future u no longer travel with them n the reason is heartbreaking. Will doc rewrite the past for u? Or will he distance himself from u? Thanks in advance. - Anon 💜

You felt like death, if it was a human form you were pretty sure it would resemble you at this point.

Groaning, you pulled your quilt over you and let out a long deep breath.

“(Y/N)?!”

You let out a groan in response and you heard your bedroom door open. You peaked over your quilt and saw Clara stood there with the doctor.

“You’re so weak, your immune systems can’t fight off anything.” The doctor sighed.

“Be nice!” Clara hissed.

She walked over and dropped a bag in front of you, pulling out some cold bottles of water, she put one on your night stand along with some different kinds of medicines.

“I’ve got you some ice cream to help your throat, and I’ve also got you some easy to cook and eat foods. I’ll put them away for you.”

“Thank you...” you mumbled.

She smiled softly and placed her hand on the back of your head before frowning.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

She left with the bag and the doctor walked over, standing in front of you he reached out and touched your head.

“Humans surely aren’t supposed to feel this hot.”

“No, they’re not. It’s why I’m trying to bring her her temperature down before we leave.”

With that, Clara slapped the doctors hand away and draped a cool cloth over your head, pressing down a little before just leaving it there.

“Sorry I can’t go...” You whispered.

“It’s okay, we shouldn’t be too long.”

“A few hours at most.” The doctor hummed.

“You’re never on time doctor... I’ll see you guys soon...”

Clara nodded and watched as the doctor left before turning around to face you once more.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I promise... go have fun...”

She didn’t seem convinced but she knew you wouldn’t have let her stay so she sighed and left the flat.

Not long after they left you went straight to sleep, while they went on an adventure.

They were supposed to be going to a planet where you just float everywhere, but when they stepped outside the tardis there froze.

“Weren’t we just here?” Clara asked.

“Well, there must be a reason she brought us here.” The doctor mumbled.

They were in the exact same place they had just been in, but it looked slightly different.

“Maybe she wants us to look after (Y/N)?”

“Doubt it, but I suppose we can check in her again.”

Clara rolled her eyes but they headed to the flat and Clara put her key into the door, and opened it.

When she did they both froze, the whole place was covered in dust and empty.

“Uhm.. Doctor...”

“I see it Clara. We’re not in the same time period.”

“I know that, but where’s (Y/N), this is her family home she wouldn’t just up and leave!”

“I’m afraid that flat has been empty for a few years.”

They both spun around to see an elderly woman looking at them sadly. She looked between the pair of them, then into the flat and sighed.

“Where did (Y/N) go?” The doctor asked.

“She passed away while overseas.”

“Overseas?” Clara asked.

The elderly woman nodded her head and reached into her pocket, pulling out some dog tags and a letter.

“She told me two people may come back to this apartment one day, and asked me to show these to them.”

The doctor took the note and opened it.

Doctor, Clara,

If you two are reading this then there’s a good chance I’m no longer here. But that’s okay, I had a duty, and I carried it out well.

I’m sorry I can’t go on adventures with you guys anymore, but I’ll always cherish the memories that we made, you guys made me so happy.

You’re probably wondering what happened, well I was in the army before I met you guys. I was a reserve when travelling with you, and I was called back into duty.

I have no family left, so I left all my possessions to the woman next door to give to you when you’re ready. Clara you can have my apartment.

I love you both so much, sorry.

The doctor handed the note to Clara with shaky hands, and he turned back to your flat.

“She was a wonderful woman.”

“Indeed she was.” The doctor nodded.

Clara handed the note back to the woman and she smiled softly and left.

The pair stood there in shock before they slowly started to walk away.

“What’s the date?” The doctor called to the woman.

“It’s 15th of October, 2022.” The woman replied.

“That’s just over two years.” Clara whispered.

The doctor nodded and they got back into the tardis.

It was silent as the travelled once more, and this time they appeared in front of your apartment once more.

However Clara left the tardis but the doctor didn’t.

“Doctor?” She asked quietly.

“I need time to think.”

Clara watched as the tardis disappeared and she sighed, making her way back up to your flat.

She let herself in with your key and looked around, finding you in the kitchen cooking some food.

“Oh hey Clara.” You smiled.

She silently sat at the table and you frowned.

“Clara?”

She looked up at you, nearly on the verge of tears.

“What’s the date?” She asked quietly.

“It’s only been a week since you were last here so October 17th.”

She nodded her head and you reached out, putting your hand over hers.

“What happened?”

“Just saw a horrible timeline is all.”

You frowned unconvinced but didn’t want to push it any further so you nodded and stood up.

“Want some dinner?”

“Yes please.”

Throughout the rest of the night Clara stayed with you just talking and hanging out, though you didn’t think much about it.

The next day she had to return to work, so when there was a pounding on your door you were confused.

You walked over and swung it open only to come face to face with the doctor.

“What do you do for a living (Y/N)?”

You frowned and stepped aside, letting him into the small home.

“Well, I’m a solider. Why?”

“Quit.”

You blinked and laughed a little.

“What? Why? It’s my whole life, my whole family were in the army.”

The doctor turned around and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“It’s dangerous, quit it.”

“I’m sorry doctor but I can’t. Plus travelling with you is no safer.”

“But I can keep you safe if you’re with me. If you’re not I can’t, and if you die I can’t do anything.”

You sighed and sat on the couch, shaking your head a little bit.

“I’m sorry doctor, but no.”

“(Y/N) leave the army.”

The way he said it that time made you worry, him acting weird, and Clara being all upset last night, you were starting to piece something together.

“What did you see...?” You asked softly.

The doctor was quiet as he sat on your coffee table.

Shuffling over, you rested your arms on your knees, peaking up at his face.

“Doctor?”

“I can’t tell you, but leave the army.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it.”

The doctor sighed and nodded his head, he knew he wouldn’t be able to push you into doing something you wanted.

But you on the other hand knew he wouldn’t try force you to leave your job without reason.

You stood up and held your hand out to the doctor with a huge smile.

“Let’s go to the fair!”

The doctor groaned but gave you his hand, he didn’t want to miss the chance of making memories with you just in case you didn’t leave the army, and he wanted to remember how happy you for for decades to come

[urlkssknt]

nanami kento x fem!reader (2.9k)

nsfw!! mdi!!

warnings; unprotected sex, it’s just very soft and vanilla

a/n; this is a scene from a series i might write, i’m not sure if i want to commit to it, please let me know your thoughts, feedback is much appreciated!

The marriage announcement caught you off guard, it felt like someone had thrown you into the deep end of a pool and you didn't know how to swim, drowning slowly in the snarky whispers from the attendants of the party that reached your ear - wasn't he married to Y/n? Poor girl, I wouldn't be able to show my face if I was her. Many eyes around the room turned towards you in anticipation, waiting for some display of anger or a rage-induced outburst. Much to their disappointment, you stood your ground. You wouldn’t let the perfectly crafted mask fall from your face, especially not now, you couldn’t let the woman, who held a leash over your ex, know she caused an effect on you.

From a distance over, Satoru watched you closely through the peripheral of his sharp vision, you leaned further into the dark long haired man standing beside you to whisper something into his ear. Suguru handed you a small rectangular box discreetly. He was equally as shocked as you. Satoru expected Toji to pull a stunt like this, maybe another pregnancy announcement or a business merger. He never expected it to be announced publicly, in a Gojou family setting. Whilst claps of congratulations sounded around the hall, Gojou's cold gaze threw daggers towards your ex-husband, standing beside your parents with a hand on the waist of his fiancée. The sight of gleaming smiles across your parent’s faces made Satoru feel sick to his stomach. The white haired man also took a mental note of the people who seemed genuinely happy for the wretched couple. Those people didn't realise that they had gotten onto Gojou Satoru's bad side and ruined any promising positive relationship with the businessman.

There was a chill in the evening air as you stood on the balcony, you were grateful no one else was outside to witness the devastation on your face, only the night sky being witness to the single teardrop that fell along the expanse of your cheek. The cold air nipped at the bare skin of your arms and neck, raising the fine hairs which run all along your skin. As a thought of regret for not bringing a jacket along with you popped into your mind, you opened the cigarette packet that Suguru handed to you, bringing one up to your lips to rest as you fish for a lighter in your purse, praying that you had one despite having quit the disgusting habit years ago.

The temperature of the chilling air around you rises as a warming presence pressed against your back, you only relax when the familiar scent of rich cologne mixed with cinnamon infiltrates your senses, allowing yourself to melt into the heated hands that run along your naked arms.

"Do you even have a lighter?" Kento questions as you continue to search through your bag, which was so small, the blond was sceptical about it being big enough to fit any necessities.

Peering up through your lashes, your azure eyes narrowed at him as your lips formed into a deep scowl. Kento was right, you didn’t have a lighter, specifically for scenarios like this, where your fingers are itching to grab at the first intoxicant to cloud your mind. Smoking would help calm the stress that scratches the walls of your brain as the tobacco fills your bloodstream.

“Suguru probably has one-“ you mutter under your breath, speaking with the white stick sitting comfortably between your lips before a hand quickly reaches for it and throws the small object off the balcony, out of sight and out of reach. “What the hell-“ there was little time to process the sudden action as your words are cut short with kento’s palms encasing your face to tilt your head slightly and allow him to lower his lips onto yours in a short kiss. The anger that rushed through your veins quickly dissolved, leaving as fast as it was produced.

A small smile creeped along your lips, “maybe I should take up smoking again.”

Kento couldn’t help the chuckle that let up his throat, his eyes crinkling in the same way that the twin’s did. His hands dropped from your face to hold your hips over the silk material, pulling you closer towards him, your breasts pressing against his chest.

“Let's get out of here.”

Earlier, before he followed your footsteps to check on you, Kento felt a strong grip latch on his arm to prevent him from moving further. The culprit was your brother. Satoru held an intimidating aura, his sapphire eyes bearing a look cold enough to pierce skin. The older man whispered short words to Nanami, advising him to take you away from the party, in order to protect you.

As Kento was texting the babysitter he had hired for the night, making sure his kids were safely sleeping in their beds, you were checking in with the two Zen’in girls that were looking after Megumi for the night. Maki and Mai loved spending time with you, when you announced the divorce with their cousin, they were undeniably upset, not because Toji’s heart was broken but it meant they wouldn’t be able to see you as often.

It wasn't as difficult as you thought it might be to locate the hotel room. Thankfully, both of you were in a conscious state of mind, avoiding the sparkling alcoholic beverages being served in crystal flutes. The hand on the curve of your waist held you close to Kento’s embrace. Just from a short glance, any onlooker would be able to know you were his, there was a loving atmosphere surrounding you two which was hard to miss, from the pearly smile painting your glossy lips to the radiant sparkling of gold among the hues of brown. The booked room was found quickly. Anticipation began to bubble in your stomach, you felt excited to spend the night with such a handsome man, again.

All of your hair was pushed to one side on your shoulder, exposing the tender flesh of your neck. A beautiful and plain canvas just waiting to be painted with deep and dark shades of pinks and purples. The plain sight caused a stir in Kento’s mind, he desired to mark you, in a way he knew no one ever would. Acting on impulse, the father of two kissed a spot where your neck met your shoulder so lightly it felt like petals brushing against your skin. A smirk found its home along Kento’s lips when you craned your head to the side, offering more of yourself to him. The innocent kisses progressed into deep bites, a sudden sharp nip against your pulse point causing a gasp to slip into the air. You couldn’t care less if a horrible bruise formed from Kento's lustful ministrations, his scent clouded your mind like a drug, your thoughts swirling into nothing. Your attention was fixated on the hands wandering from their place on your hips to groping your breasts through the silken material of your dress, sending arsoul to pool in your panties.

A deep timbre tone filled your ears, you turned to face the man speaking. “Would you like to know my new favourite colour?” Kento doesn’t wait for your answer, his hands squeeze at your chest again with more pressure, sadly eliciting another gasp from your lips. The corners of Kento's lips turn downwards ever so slightly, he had hoped that his ears would have been graced with a moan. “Sage green.”

The blond guides you to the queen-sized bed, lined with the finest material he had ever seen, Kento didn’t expect anything less from your brother, who handed him the key card. The hotel room was grand, almost as big as his own apartment, which was quite large.

Kento sits himself against the headboard with his suit jacket and tie discarded somewhere on the floor, falling victim to your travelling hands, eager to undress him. The clothing was no longer his concern as you situated yourself in his lap, thick thighs straddling his waist the best you could in the confinement of your dress. “Tonight,” Kento's eyes move from the swells of your breasts, your cleavage in his direct eye line, to meet your gleaming eyes. He was surprised to find his own reflection in them. “I'm yours.” The words felt heavy on his tongue and heart, it felt like he was confessing to you again, proving to himself that it was you that his heart yearns for.

Slowly, you clamber off of the blond man’s lap without voicing your intentions, not missing how his hands reach out to hold onto you for a moment longer, you giggle lightly at the display of clinginess, never expecting such a stoic man to behave like that. It was refreshing. It reassured the persistent whispers in the back of your mind that Kento wanted you like you wanted him. as you stood at the foot of the bed, you kicked off your nude heels, dropping your height by a few inches. A laugh fell upon your ears, Kento was amused, his smile hidden from your eyes behind his palm. However, the light atmosphere shifted when the sound of a zipper filled the room. Swiftly, the dress dropped to the floor from the pull of gravity, leaving you exposed except for the black lace thong, which barely hid anything from his eyes. Kento wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse.

Finally, it was your turn to smirk when your sharp eyes caught the growing tent of Kento's trousers.

Slowly, you crawled along the bedsheets at an agonising pace, it felt like hours before you finally reached your destination. Within an instant, you felt two large palms squeeze at the pudgy skin of your hips. You couldn’t help but press your hands against Kento's chest, fingers running aimlessly as you met his lips, kissing him with such desire, as if you had planned to devour him.

“Do you know what good boys get, Mister Nanami?” you say in a sultry tone, the touches of the small pads of your fingertips tracing unrecognisable shapes along his chest becoming distractive.

The words registered into the blond’s mind, you had previously asked the same question to the three toddlers, in hopes of containing their erratic behaviour in the kitchen. This should have been degrading, yet, despite using the childish question, a rational voice in Kento’s mind screamed at him to just give in for once.

“Rewards,” it was the same answer Sukuna gave you, it was the correct answer. However, Kento's voice only managed to speak just above a breath, finding himself unable to trust his own voice.

“Well done daddy,” you praised him with a sweet kiss, a shiver running up his neck, before making an effort to unbutton the shirt, “treat me nicely and I’ll reward you.”

All the remaining pieces of clothing were thrown off hurriedly, desperate to feel the pure heat of Kento's unbelievably hot body. It stunned you how he was constantly warm, maybe you could make him your personal heater.

Kento couldn’t help but groan loudly as your hips grinded against his dick, coating him with your wetness, he felt himself throbbing against your folds, ever so desperate to fill you to the brim. As if reading his mind, the teasing touches paused as you lined your entrance up with his cock, only after giving the hard member a few pumps with your hand. The broad shoulders of the businessman were used as an anchor, you cling onto him desperately as you sink onto his dick. In the span of a few hours, you had completely forgotten the thickness of kento’s sex, surprising yourself as you struggle to relax yourself to take him in. Wanton moans fell from both parties as you stayed still for a few seconds to get used to the burn from his fat cock stretching you. The hands on your waist squeeze tightly to help Kento ground himself from rutting up into you. Being enveloped with your warm cunt felt too good, especially when the gummy walls clamped around him, you were all he could think about.

Just from the position alone, the soft tissue of nerves which caused you to see stars were grazed upon, you couldn’t stop the moan escaping from your lips. “I could cum like this,” you relish in the feeling of the palms coaxing the movement of your hips and the mouth that latches onto your mound. A sharp nip against your peak leads to you arching into Kento's mouth, desperate for more of his touches. Despite spending the night before together, the pair of you couldn’t get enough of each other. Not when your tits would bounce as you raised your hips and begin a steady rhythm of grinding against Kento’s lap, each slam against his hips hitting a spot that causes your head to spin. The vision of you on top of him, riding his cock like your life depended on it, spurred the coil tightening in the pit of his stomach. The wetness that pooled between your thighs now began to drip down onto the pelvis of the man below you. A mixture of juices squelching and low moans sounded throughout the room. You had no time to feel embarrassed by the pornographic noises as you desperately chased your high.

“You’re making me feel so good angel,” a sense of pride blooms in Kento's chest as he feels you clenching around him from his praise. His hands stretched lower to graze his fingers over your ass, they latched onto you, his nails creating deep crevices in the area that would still be there in the morning.

You could no longer think straight, completely drunk off of Kento's cock, filling you up so well you wished he’d never leave. A numbness started to form in your thighs, creating a painful burn as you continued to move up and down, pushing through the pain and reaching for your high. From the hand gripping his hair and the way your walls were spasming, Kento knew you were so close to cumming, you just needed a little push. The brush of his thumb circling your clit leans you over the edge and causes your orgasm to hit you like a wave. Kento groaned loudly as you creamed his cock and gripped onto him like a vice. The man felt kind enough to let you catch your breath, he was still painfully hard and so close to his own high.

“As much as I’d like to be rewarded,” a cheeky smile spread through Kento’s lips, chocolate eyes sparkling at you with excitement. His playful and cheery expression leaves as quick as it comes, you almost whine in protest as he uses his strength to pull you off of his lap, and gently lays you down against the bed. The giddy look in Kento's eyes darkens to a lustful stare as your blown out eyes meet his. “Daddy wants to cum, so be a good girl and help daddy out.”

It hadn’t been longer than a few moments since your climax, you had barely calmed down. Without a second thought, Kento thrusts into your sopping entrance, your cum still coating his dick which makes it easier for him to slide back into your cavernous walls. A cry emmits from you due to the overstimulation. The feeling of being filled up again overtook the discomfort you experienced, it felt so good that you could cry from it, it was as if kento was made to fit inside your cunt so deliciously. The hands on your hips migrate to your thighs, pushing them up so that your knees are almost next to your head. Somehow, the angle of the position allows Kento to hit deeper into you.

“Fu- fuck,” your mind is lost for words as it completely blanks, no longer have the ability to form a coherent sentence.

A layer of sweat covers the blond’s body. The slapping sound returns as Kento's heavy balls hit against you with every rut. It was astonishing that the bed frame didn’t move with his frantic movements. Each thrust of his hips were more calculated than the next, earning a cry from you each time as his cockhead continuously came into contact with your g-spot. Kento knew he’d only be able to last through a few more thrusts. From the way your thighs quivered, your second orgasm was closer than he thought.

“Cum with me angel,” Kento's lips found yours in a haste of teeth clashing against each other, desperate to feel closer to you. As soon as the coaxing words fall on your ear, your walls clench around him as another climax ripples through you, this one hitting you much harder. The tension finally snapped, a growl ripped through his throat, no longer being able to hold back, as ropes of his cum shot inside your pussy, hips faltering slightly.

Your eyes flutter shut from exhaustion, trying your best to catch your breath and calm your erratic heart. Gentle hands help drop your legs so they could wrap around Kento’s waist instead of being folded in the air. Kento noticed the drowsy haze you were in. He took it upon himself to find a towel in the bathroom to clean up the mess between your thighs. Exerting his strength, the stoic man helps you to move into the sheets, the cold air no longer able to nip at your naked body.

“We need to buy plan b,” you shifted yourself close to Kento.

A kiss is pressed to the crown of your head. “We can worry about that in the morning.”

[austarus]

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader - A Single Broken Soul

*A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner.

**Please don’t forget to comment, like, and reblog. It means a lot to content creators of all kinds!

***I’d also like to thank @grimtamlain-writes​ for being my beta reader.

****This is my opinion, disclaimer - so I guess the writers finally thought it was time to shove romance towards Eobard though it contradicts what he’s always said and done in s1. His characterization isn’t adding up and I guess he can join the rest of the characters who have fallen victim to this. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this show has been going to shit because of the blatant ignorance these writers have for all these characters. Don’t get me wrong, I love this show, but I’m so tired of hearing this and that, finding out things keep going in insanely inexplainable directions for the sake of viewership without an actual solid plan to make a season plus future seasons work. But once again, that’s just me and I’m just bitter because this show has give me my comfort characters who have stood by me through the years and have helped me pull through things in my life. I’m honestly disappointed. Am I going to stop writing? No, I love my bois and I just can’t let go of not figuring an explanation out of why the writers sudden took a turn to having them do something. Have I stopped watching the show? Yeah, since s6 ended. I’ve wanted to stop after s6 crisis, but I tried to have hope that things will work out. I was wrong and I’ll continue to be wrong with how the writers only slap whatever onto the scripts for these characters without acknowledging past development and characterization. Am I endorsing people to not watch the show? That’s not for me to decide, you do whatever you so please to do. I’ll still be here writing for my bois and trying to fucking fix things for them with my fics.

*****TW: cheating

Word Count: 2799

MASTERLIST

“Eo?” Your voice bounced in the darkness of your quaint home. With furrowed eyebrows you turned on the lights, the bulbs flickered to life in the living room. Locking the door behind you, you took in a shaky breath at the temperature contrast from outside. You placed the groceries on the leather couch before discarding your jacket and slipping your shoes off to tuck them in the closet. The home wasn’t as lavish as Eobard’s old mansion back in Central City, but certainly didn’t carry any simplicity inside the home. Yet, it was cozy to you – all you had asked for was for there to be some skylights and a fireplace to sit by to read your smut/fantasy novels. Keystone was nice; you both had found a decent place in the woods to lay low until you and Eobard moved with the next phase of his plan.

“Eo? Yoo-hoo??” Peering into each room, you saw no signs of life. A little sigh left your lips as your feet trudged down the stairs to the makeshift lab Eobard had turned the basement into. Once a genius scientist, always a genius scientist. He’s probably slaving away in the labs again. You rolled your eyes at the thought, knowing you’d have to drag his ass back upstairs for some proper food, so the speedster doesn’t resort to eating Big Belly Burger for the rest of his life. “Eobard Tiberius Thawne, I swear to god if you’ve stashed away another bag of Big Belly Burger without getting me anything, you’re definitely sleeping on the couch tonight.” Your socked feet touched the cold concrete of the basement’s floor, only the emergency lights were on from select gadgets and monitors. But there was no trace of your fiancé. Your shoulders sagged slightly, something weighing on your mind before you shuttered the thoughts away. Where could you be? Your tongue ran over your chapstick-coated lips as your eyes scanned over the untouched lab. Papers and notes were scrawled on while a clear-glass board held multiple types of physics equations and theories. Aspects of Eobard’s knowledge that always slipped over your head no matter how hard you tried to understand it all from him. Maybe he went to stretch out his legs. He does that from time to time.

Pivoting, you turned back to head upstairs to close the blinds all over your cottage home. It was only 4:45pm, yet the sun had already set and the brisk air of night greeted anyone who remained out under the waning moonlight. He’ll be fine. Pursing your lips, you started to put all the groceries away while leaving some main ingredients out to make some dinner for the both of you. You had planned on making Lemon, Asparagus, & Chicken Pasta with homemade garlic bread on the side. I just hope he makes it back before it gets too dark. And before the food gets cold. Your eyes caught the faint rustle of leaves outside your home, the chill in the air blew a bit harsher tonight in comparison to earlier that day when you were out. You took a slight breath in, willing your eyes back to the onions and veggies on the cutting board. Sometimes it gets a little creepy out here in the woods, especially when the nights had been climbing earlier and earlier in the sky. Though you had powers from the Particle Accelerator explosions, it didn’t make whatever lurked in the darkness anything shy from scary. Rubbing your eyes, you got started with chopping up the onions.

***A Few Hours Later***

A yawn itself ripped from your throat; your heavy eyelids cracked open languidly as your body arched in trying to wake itself from sleep. Your bones ached at the stretch, yet it felt so nice to do so – the cracking oddly satisfied your locked up joints. You exhaled a little breath from your nose. The fire still crackled in its place while your book lay discarded on the carpeted ground. The air in your home was warm, the light from the gentle flames licking at the air kept the living room illuminated. Must have fallen asleep while reading again. Another yawn left you as you stilled for a moment, craning your ears to listen for any moments in the house. Any sounds of static or muffled curses from the other rooms; any sign that Eobard had returned home. Your eyes moved slowly around the living room, yet there were still no traces of your fiancé, only the rustling from the trees outside. You chewed on your bottom lip, pushing the blanket to the side and picking your book to place back on the couch before heading downstairs with a cup of water. The automatic lights flickered on once more as you entered Eobard’s lab. Your feet made a beeline to the pristine plinth that faced one end of the lab. You reached a hand out just barely above the activation frame only to stop your movements and retract your hand back to your side. That one thought that you’d been dreading to recognize came back to mind; the little bits of it feeding into the bundle of anxiety within yourself, but you shook it off. I need to know when he’s coming home. I have to tell him; he deserves to know. Without another doubtful thought, you waved your hand over the activation frame to start up Gideon. The artificial intelligence flickered to life before your eyes, an emotionless smile on its holographic face. You took a sip of water before the AI had the chance to speak.

“Good evening Ms. (L/N). How may I be of service to you today?”

You tilted your head to the side in confusion at the AI’s greeting. Gideon always calls me Mrs. Thawne. You pushed the thought to the side before asking, “Gideon, where’s Eobard?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand the question.”

A frown now graced your features. “What?” But it’s a simple question. “Gideon, please show me where Eobard is,” you tried once more with a cocked eyebrow.

Gideon was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, Ms. (L/N) but there is not anyone with the name ‘Eobard Thawne’ in my database.”

You heard the haunting pump of blood in your ears. “What? What do you mean there’s no one named ‘Eobard Thawne’? What happened to Eobard?!”

“‘Eobard Thawne’ does not exist in my database.”

“Where is the Reverse Flash?”

“Zero results for the ‘Reverse Flash’.”

“Search again.”

“Zero results for the ‘Reverse Flash’.”

“No, no, no.” Your whispered voice cracked as you ran a hand through your hair. “Again.”

“Ms. (L/N) I’ve already searched through various extended databases. Zero results remain for the ‘Reverse Flash’.”

You couldn’t believe your ears – your thoughts racing at the notion of Barry time traveling again or worse. “Did… did the timeline change? Did anything happen?” It couldn’t have….

Instead of responding, Gideon shuttered out completely. You blinked for a moment at the AI’s response before gritting your teeth and with a clenched fist you hit the plinth with all your might, a noise of frustration had left your lips. You swallowed thickly as you tried to steady your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in… breathe out. Pain reverberated in your fist, but it wasn’t as painful as the one caused by the growing ball of anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Instantly the plinth flickered to life once more, instead Gideon was replaced with video playing. No, not a video. A livestream with audio. At STAR Labs. Your eyes instantly flickered to the timestamp, widening in confusion. 2031? Your eyes lit up slightly as a voice spoke, that familiar deep tone that made your heart jump. It was Harrison Wells, but…The subtle flicker of red electricity behind the speaker’s eyes, something only you would catch, said otherwise. “Eo?” You whispered with disbelief written all over your face. The clip continued playing, Eobard stood in STAR Labs in a dark blue suit, but… everything about the setting felt off. The people around him were the same people he had sworn to kill. Where was Barry? Why was Team Flash not at Eobard’s throat? Why is he in 2031?

“-to my beautiful wife Iris.”

The glass cup in your hand shattered in your grip as those words left Eobard’s lips, blood seeping out from your palm from those words. The moment your ears caught his words was the moment your heart shattered and a crestfallen look had replaced the small bit of hope in your eyes. Your body vaguely registered the pricks of glass shards that littered the palm of your hand. Shards of glass clicked out of tempo when it made contact with the concrete ground as the video continued. A choked noise left your lips as the clip showed people cheering and celebrating while Eobard slipped a yellow ring on Iris’ finger, holding her hand, holding her close. This isn’t my Eobard, he would never… But your Eo wasn’t here with you – there were no traces of him anywhere except for 2031. Your vision clouded over as the clip shuttered out and Gideon retracted back into the plinth. The beautiful diamond black ring laced with rose gold refined metal on your own finger felt nonexistent as your thumb subconsciously rubbed blood and remnants of glass against it. Your bottom lip quivered as you stood there alone. Blood trickled in little droplets, staining the concrete ground. He left me…?

You wanted to breathe, but you couldn’t. You felt like a fish out of water, but you were falling as you hunched over the concrete with your hands keeping you up from collapsing on the ground. The knives of misery struck your heart. The first when Gideon had stated there were no records of ‘Eobard Thawne’ or the ‘Reverse Flash’ – the thought of Barry causing him to cease from existence had crossed your mind. After everything we’ve been through, all these years at odds with Barry and Iris plus company. I was the one the most at your side. I was the one there when you were getting you speed back, I was the one there when you were at your weakest. I was the one who entrusted my heart to you… Just yesterday we were fine. You were showing me how to rewire the Tachyon Enhancer. And last night when we... Was this morning his final goodbye? Had I misread things. I… It hurts. My chest hurts.It was getting harder and harder to breath, your chest constricted significantly as you dropped to your knees taking in quick but shallow breaths. Do you cry? Do you scream? Do you trash his labs? What were you supposed to do? HOWCANILIVEWITHOUTYOU? A whimper left your lips as your hands balled up into tight fists, the pain in your bloodied hand was faint, but it was there. I chose you over everyone – over everything – in the multiverse. I chose you every single time in every timeline I’ve been in. I left everything behind just for you because I love you. You’re all that I have left. You promised me you wouldn’t let go. That I was the one for you. That I was it.

The second knife that sliced through you had been the instant Eobard smiled down at Iris West as he put the ring on her finger, the small smile he had given you before placing the ring he had made on your own finger and kissing it on your hand. A silent promise to cherish and protect you always. What a magnificent lie that was. It’s funny, isn’t it? How in one moment, you were his everything and in the next you became his nothing. The one person that you gave everything to – the key to your heart and the source of your happiness had wanted nothing to do with you. The pain in your chest only intensified, the hair at the back of your neck stood up. I didn’t do anything wrong. “So why? Why did you leave me?” Why? All of a sudden, after all these years?

Memory after memory together only suffocated you – his wolfish smile when the strings to his plans all came together, his gentle words of comfort, the faith he had in you. The man who not only protected you but knew of your insecurities, the doubts that haunted you, and the broken past you seldom talked about in fear of being gaslighted. The one man who mended your fragmented trust in others and allowed you to be vulnerable – your safe space. I can’t imagine a world with you gone. The flinches and recoils, the subtle steps back when someone was yelling in the Cortex; the abusive past you had suffered that he had uncovered and didn’t shy away from. Never had Eobard raised a hand or his voice against you… The nights the two of you would stay up and talk, the countless hours spent training your powers alongside his and the revelation of the faint Negative Tachyons within your body from being consumed by Eobard Thawne. All those little moments together through these past years, all for him to throw you away for Barry’s wife when you were to be his soon. All of a sudden, the man who you had given your heart and soul to had wanted nothing to do with you. Why’d you let go, Eo? Was I not good enough?

You were worth nothing – that's what has always plagued you, being of no value to the people around you.. The one person in your life that made you feel so significant to theirs. That… the one person who made you feel so safe who had accepted you for everything in your twisted life and past. The one who promised to never let you go, the one who prioritized you and made you his first option; the one who would rather see the world burn for you because you were it for them and they couldn’t see themselves without you would be the same person to fracture your soul. Here you are alone; alone and discarded once again. He chose her over me. Flashbacks from the past seeped into your mind, thoughts of the past you had pushed away because Eobard was right beside you. He was right there proving all those thoughts wrong and loving every bit of you.

The third and final blow to your heart… when you had realized that he would never come home to you. Because he was with her. Because all of a sudden, he chose her over you; the beauty with limitless talent, confidence, and skill. Iris West. They always choose someone else over me. I was always the last option… Your breath hitched once more as your thoughts darkened – you were drowning. Your unwounded hand started pounding on the concrete, over and over again. Eobard had always told you that you’re the light in his life, the one who guided him through all the darkness that was pent up inside. You’re the only person that drove him to work harder, reach higher… to strive to get faster for. It had always been you, but was it just an incredible lie you had fallen for? Every cheeky look, every passionate kiss, every teasing touch – were they all meaningless in his book? Your heart ached, a whole forming in your chest. I love you. Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me, Eo, please. I can't do this without you! You promised you wouldn’t do this to me. I thought you were different, I trusted you. That little begging voice had returned so long from the years you had been mentally abused by a past ex – an extinguished voice of loneliness and longing. “Please don’t leave me. Please come back, please. I love you. You mean the most to me. Please.” Your body was numbing, it was getting cold. The betrayal of someone you love, someone that has been deeply cherished and ingrained in a life runs deeper than any sword could cut. Was it all a lie? A carefully orchestrated lie that in the end you’d stomp on my heart, tear it into pieces, then discard it for Iris??

I never… got to tell him that something delicate and tiny had started to bud inside of me. Slowly the palm of your bloodied hand grazed the lower part of your gut as a tear finally fell; they all started to fall as you hiccupped with quick breaths – you were having a panic attack. Your hands shook as your palm pressed hard against yourself, blood now soaking your lower abdomen. Right here.

[yelenasdog]

moving out, moving on (mitch rapp x fem reader)

genre: fluff

summary: mitch and reader are taking another step towards mitch moving on, and it’s bittersweet.

words: 2.2k

warnings: drinking wine, kinda suggestive at times, talks abt katrina, mitch being emotional, my writing being melodramatic LOL

a/n: so. this was written during an all nighter that went to 7 am where i was listening to nicki minaj and eminem (???) for a good duration of it so. i’m very sorry if this is wonky at times! i hope u enjoy either way! mwah 

🥍🥍🥍

The early morning rays streamed through thin fabric, draped above the assassin's window. Dust particles floated about, becoming visible within the section of light cast from the sun. The birds perched outside the small apartment tweeted happily from their branch, their songs beautiful. 

Though, they were quite pesterous to the pair that lay together, wrapped in gray sheets. They reveled in the heat provided by the soft blanket, but even more so by the warmth from their joint bodies.

A mop of dark brown hair stirred, bringing one hand up to softly rub his eyes with his knuckle, the other hand snaking around the waist of the woman peacefully sleeping beside him. He watched with fond eyes as she lightly groaned, rolling to face away from the invasion of bright, turning towards her love. 

Mitch smiled down at her sleepy behavior, reaching out and brushing stray hairs from her forehead. He reluctantly retracted it only moments later, forcing himself out of bed to go and prepare the two of them for their big day as best he knew how: Coffee.

His sock clad feet dragged across the hardwood as he went, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and groggy-ness (a word Y/n had donned as her own, and Mitch had caught on to) still very prevalent in his entire system. 

The Rhode Island air was frigid this time of year, Mitch allowing a grin to break out on his face upon remembrance of two nights previous, just how cold Y/n had been in the arena of the Providence Bruins hockey team. Nose pink, donned in a beanie proudly showing the team's logo, well, he had found himself a new lockscreen.

He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of said groggy-ness, his body on autopilot as it made the beverages. He picked out her favorite mug from the cupboard (AKA a souvenir from Dubai he had picked up long ago) that she had adopted as her own, drinking out of it every time she would spend the night, almost like clockwork. He waited for his coffee beans to brew, scratching his stubble along his jaw. He flinched, though, when he felt two arms wrap around his middle. He quickly relaxed into the embrace upon realization of who the supposed assailant was, her head finding its way to rest on his bare shoulder.

“You scared me, there.” Mitch muttered, his larger hand inching towards her’s on his waist. He closed his eyes in content and she hummed in acknowledgment. Mitch allowed her to turn his figure to face her, still residing in her arms, seeing a bright smile plastered across her face.

“Only for a minute though, right?”

She laughed to which he chuckled in response, nodding in false surrender. “You’ve got me there, Y/n/n.” He mused, his eyes lighting up at the sound of the coffee machine beeping. He looked back to her, shrugging.

“I made you coffee, was gonna bring it to you in bed but, y’know.” He gestured to where she had now climbed up to sit on top of his counter, his sweatshirt around her that read “Brown University” across the front in large lettering pooling around her thighs.

“It’s alright, I need to get a move on anyway.” She smiled, hopping down to retrieve the mug, taking the warm ceramic from Mitch’s hands and sighing at the wondrous feeling that had spread through her whole body. She lifted it to her lips and drank, not surprised that her boyfriend had made it just the way she liked, to perfection. 

“Thank you, baby.” She commented, reaching up to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. Her lip curled as she pulled away, Mitch already knowing what she was going to say, a laugh bubbling up in his throat.

“Mitch! Go brush your teeth, for the love of God!” She whined, watching as he scampered off towards the bathroom, snickering all the way. She rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her beverage before following where Mitch had gone.

Once in the bathroom after rinsing her and Mitch’s mugs, she tied her hair up, undressing and turning on the water (practically scalding hot, of course). Mitch had no objections to the temperature, though, seeing as it was his last time showering with her in that apartment, and in that apartment, period. 

The whole thing felt very symbolic to Y/n, at least, seeing it as washing themselves clean for the next phase of their lives together, a sort of preparation. (Maybe not so much for Mitch, who really was just pleased for any excuse to see his girlfriend naked.)

They used generous amounts of soap, as not only were most of them nearly empty (in fact, a few were and if it weren’t for Y/n, they probably all would be), but also that they had decided to simply just buy new toiletries as a whole for their new place.

They giggled at the sight of each other, all lathered in bubbles and suds. Mitch reached a finger forward, wiping it from above her eyebrows and preventing it from falling into her eyes. Y/n brought her arms around his neck, her lips connecting with his. “Much better.” She regarded with a smirk, before leaning back in.

Nearly 40 minutes later, they both emerged from the shower, fresh faced and ready for the day ahead. He didn’t have a lot that needed to be packed up, given that his place came fully furnished, so it took all but 2 hours and 5 boxes to pack up Mitch Rapp’s life. It honestly might have taken even longer than originally would have been needed, as Y/n would stop every time she found something interesting, allowing Mitch to tell her all about whatever stories had been connected to the item.

It had started with the ridiculous bird lamp that sat on his bedside table, once belonging to Mr. Nazir, and ended with his lacrosse stick. (And, a promise that one day, he’d show her how to play. He swore he’d never seen her smile that big.)

They also threw away and donated a lot, some of Kat’s old stuff bringing a pained smile to his face as he would place it in a box simply labeled “Kat” in messy, thick letters. He wasn’t sure if the box would end up in his new closet, covered in dust and unopened, or back with her family. But either way, he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to her completely, which Y/n was able to understand.

“Mitch? Did you pack away your coats already?” Y/n called out, opening up the closet near the front door. Her breath slightly hitched in her throat upon seeing all of the photos of Mansur, still pasted to the painted wood, the edges curling up. 

“Nah, not yet, I was gonna handle that while you worked on the cupboards” He responded, busying himself with a text from Irene on his phone wishing him good luck. He looked up and saw what she had been asking about, his phone quickly sliding into his pocket as he made his way over to where she stood, visibly distressed. 

“How long have these been here?” She questioned, feeling Mitch’s arms wrap around her shoulders. She brought her hands up to grasp onto his wrists, leaning backwards into him and biting into her lip.

“Since the beach, when I decided to go after Mansur. When everything happened with the CIA, it was kind of a whirlwind, I didn’t really have enough time to even think about taking it down when I was only even here for hours at a time.” He lightly chuckled, watching as she stepped forward and began to take the pictures down, crumbling them up in her hands. 

She ran her fingertips over the indents left in the door, feeling the splinters against them. She turned back to Mitch, quipping how “Mr. Nazir won’t be too pleased about that.” 

He smiled, joining her in taking all of the images down, ripping them or balling them up in his fists. All of them ended up in one of the old Target bags they had been using for trash, filling up an entire bag (minus a few Dunkin cups sitting at the bottom).

Mitch trailed a few tender kisses down the left side of her next, and though it sounds cheesy, a feeling of hopefulness flooded himself out of most of the bitterness that had been stuck inside for so long. 

She turned her head to catch his lips with her own, and smiled into the kiss, her hand finding the back of his head. She lightly tugged on the chocolate colored strands and he groaned in content, to which her grin only widened. She pulled back, ruffling the top of his head before beginning to pack away the remnants of what was left in the closet. He rolled his eyes, following suit.

They had piled all of the boxes into the back of Mitch’s old decommissioned CIA vehicle (which was obvious that is was such, given that the side was littered with bullet holes and metallic scratches), returned the key to Mr. Nazir (who was glad to see Mitch go), and with that, they were off.

The new place wasn’t too far away, the pair taking a page out of Stan’s book and opting for a wonderful sense of privacy. It was nestled in a rural corner of Massachusetts, where Mitch would be able to come home to a sense of serenity. Y/n had already moved in her possessions, Mitch’s items being the last step. They’d also furnished the cozy cabin, trips to IKEA and Urban Outfitters (along with several other over-priced boutiques) making the place feel like a perfect fit for the couple.

Mitch’s strange and varied knick knacks made the house feel like a home, his lacrosse stick finding a new home by the front door, right under a hanging potted plant that Y/n and Mitch had decided to affectionately name “Charles” after a drunken night watching the X-Men movies. The house was littered in plants such as Charles, in fact, with Mitch’s first response to seeing all of them being “Wow, looks like a greenhouse in here.”

(Still, he’d grown to love the plant babies. Trust me.)

Two tired smiles made their ways to their faces as they both sat on their new sofa, admiring a job well done. Though several boxes still lay on the hardwood, unopened, they felt accomplished enough to pull out a bottle of wine that they had been saving for the occasion. It was an early housewarming gift from Stan, to which they were unprepared to take advantage of, it seemed.

“Baby, did we unpack the wine glasses earlier?” Mitch questioned, his mind slightly foggy of the day's events and early start.

“No, I think they’re still packed up.” She replied, to which Mitch’s eyes lit up, an idea forming and an imaginary lightbulb popping up over his head. He got up from his seat, a wide smile spreading across his face. Her expression mirrored his own, with an added quirked brow at his antics.

“I’ve got a solution, wait here.” Mitch responded, padding over to where he had remembered the new home of the mugs to be. Upon realization of what he was doing, Y/n smiled, rolling her eyes and bringing a hand up to run through her roots.

He shuffled back over moments later, his girlfriend recognizing one of the mugs in his hands as her favorite. He sat down next to her, with the bare skin of her thighs touching his own, jean clad. He bumped his knee to hers with a giggle, pouring out the Pinot Grigio into the mugs. 

She gratefully accepted it as it was handed to her, smiling as she took a sip. Mitch did the same, the two of them leaning back into the soft sofa. Y/n brought her legs up, cuddling into his side and absorbing his warmth. He brought his free hand to her side, a strong hold giving them both a strong sense of comfort as she lay her head on his shoulder.

The box labeled “Kat” remained unpacked along with the others on the floor, dust already beginning to gather. Mitch had come across it a few times that day, each time more thoughtful than the last as he struggled to decide what it was exactly he was feeling towards the objects; or perhaps towards the memory of Katrina.

He had come to realize that it was acceptance he felt, deep in his stomach, settling down. It had been brought upon him in totality over time, today’s events being the final step. A soft smile spread across Mitch’s face, a single tear falling from his eye. Y/n looked up, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“Mitch, are you alright?”

He leaned down, connecting their lips in a watery yet nectarous kiss, his hand beginning to rub small circles on her shoulder. 

“Yeah, Y/n/n.” 

The fire they had built earlier was roaring, now, casting a warm glow across the pair’s features. The damp trail down his cheek was highlighted, nearly glistening on his skin like an amber. 

“I’m doin’ just fine.”

🥍🥍🥍

ok btw ik that wine in mugs would be a horrible idea but this is fiction so SHUSH

anyway i hope yall enjoyed! i love writing for mitch and i have lots of future fics for him, so if u liked this, please reblog and follow if ya wanna. mwah, go drink water and have some protein <333

 xx hj

[omiscurls]

haikyuu!! characters as bed sharing AU’s

taken of pinterest!

characters in question: kiyoomi sakusa, miya atsumu, kenma kozume, suna rintaro, tobio kageyama, kuroo tetsuro, akaashi keiji

kiyoomi sakusa - the “you have too much nightmares, let me try this method on you”

When you look at Sakusa, you wouldn’t guess any of his weaknesses... well except for one maybe

He always speaks so confidently, if he doesn’t feel secure, he just doesn’t speak

So even if you’ve been their manager for... several years, you still know as much about this man’s weaker sides as if you met him yesterday, or even less. 

The surprise on your face when you binge watched a series at night, and you suddenly felt the scream definitely coming from outside your headphones was indescribable 

Was the room next to yours... Sakusa’s?

you thought nothing of it, but night after night, you heard a lot more, you heard crying, ventilating, calling out random names, and finally you decided that not only is this interrupting your sleep, it’s not healthy for the wing spiker either

come on, the next day is game day, he has to be on his best abilities 

nobody wants to deal with grumpy kiyoomi, nobody has the guts

so you remember a method your friend has told you about that their s/o uses on them 

it took a lot of courage, but there you are, about to knock on his door... 

Sakusa flinched hearing knocks on his door. That definitely wasn’t just a comeback from a dream. Someone’s knocking on his door. Was he being too loud? Did he wake someone up? He prays that it’s just someone wanting something, even if it’s around 2AM, and who on earth would want someone at 2AM. 

Normally he would’ve been pissed off, but now he wished for this scenario to come true. 

He put on a hoodie before opening the door, since it was cold outside the sheets, besides, who wants to see him in his underwear, right? Especially if it’s marvel themed-

The look on his face when he sees his crush on the other side of the door is priceless. He can practically feel his face going all red. 

“Can I help you?” he clears his throat and says lazily, pretending to be annoyed by the fact you allegedly woke him up, even though the tears still flow down his cheeks. 

“No, but I can help you” you say, just as embarrassed as he is, and it doesn’t help when he raises his eyebrows like that, so you quickly add “That is, if you like, please feel comfortable to tell me to piss off if I’m being too much, but I have a friend with a problem simmilar to yours and I just...”

“Okay, I’m listening” he interrupts, causing you to look up at him. 

When you explain the idea to him, he’s more than pessimistic, he’s laughing in your face, mumbling something about how he thanks you for your concern, but... 

You took the opportunity that you’re both sitting on his bed, and just lay on your back. 

“Come on, just try” 

“No!” he answers almost immediately, but, as he’s also a man of logic... 

He really has to be on his best tomorrow, and you’re his only hope at the moment. He reluctantly lays down next to you, and your hand guides his face near your neck. 

“Fine, but only so you stop with this idea already. It’s not gonna work.”

You’re both extremely out of your comfort zones, but you’re slowly adjusting. You feel him nuzzle closer, and your hair just instinctly lands in his hair, curling one little curl on your finger. 

His showergel smells amazing, by the way. It puts you to sleep instantly, but you know you can’t be the one to pass out first. After a while of silence, you ask him if his trial run has expired already, but there’s no response. His breath evens out, and you’re too afraid to stir away far enough to check if his eyes are closed. 

“Kiyoomi? Are you asleep?” you ask, but again, there’s no response. 

Oh well. 

The next morning he’s so embarrassed that the idiotic idea worked, he can’t even look you in the eyes at breakfast. 

atsumu miya as “you’ve been so dejected lately i feel too bad to leave you alone at night” 

He didn’t ask for this at all, but yet you ended up being his roommate. 

A roommate who was recently going through an extemely tough time. 

Seriously, even he feels bad seeing you all in tears all the time, mindless look and not paying attention to anything

Even though you weren’t each other’s favorite people in the world before, you ended up getting closer over the fact that he was the only one to see you at the worst moments

You hated that, but what can you do, there’s no safer place to cry in than your dorm

And even though he kinda made fun of it at first, the longer it kept going, the more concerned he’d get

It got to a point where he literally wouldn’t leave you alone 

While still pretending not to like you, of course

Have you eaten? Have you drank something? Have you even left your bed today? How long did you sleep last night? Not at all? You idiot, start taking care of yourself. 

You dumbass, you dummy, you moron, you absolute fricking mess

Some of your friends consider him your boyfriend, judging from the messages you get from him

“Dummy, there’s a granola bar in your bag, better eat it” “Hey idiot, I had to run to practice early today. Are you feeling less shitty than yesterday?” 

He noticed that, as it is logical, your mood proggressively gets worse as you get tired 

And that you actually learned how to cry without sobbing so you don’t wake him up, how thoughtful of you

Well your mistake, now you have an 80kg volleyball player over you. 

“Atsu, what’re you doing?” you ask in a tired voice, covering your face with a pillow. 

“You’re crying.” he states bluntly, staring at you like a four-year-old. 

“Observant, are we?”

“Hey. Dumbass. You didn’t cry for so long already, what happened?” he whispers, sitting by your side, and you can’t mumble words, feeling so ashamed you want to disappear. You fall on your back and pretend not to notice the question. 

He sighs audiably. 

“Alright then, just know you brought this on yourself” he states, and before you can ask why, he’s already laying beside you. 

“W-what’re you doing?” you scream-whisper, right into his blonde hair, and he shivers at the feeling. 

“I’m comforting you, isn’t it obvious, you moron?” he hisses. “Although, I can see my mistake now” he states, and you think he’s gonna go back to his own bed, but no, he grabs you by the waist and rolls over, so now you lay on top of him, flustered as ever, thankful for the light being off, at least he doesn’t see your tomato-like face. 

“But- Atsumu, please go to your own bed” you plea, but he shakes his head, eyes already closed. 

“Nu-uh” he answers “Yours is more comfy, anyway” he jokes, making you chuckle through the tears. 

He puts his hand on the back of your head and puts it on his chest. 

“Goodnight, dipshit” he whispers, and you manage to fall alseep listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

No tears, he’d feel them anyway. 

kenma kozume as “the heater broke and i’m cold as hell, can you come here?”

this should not have happened

the guy looks miserable

but, you see, he’s doesn’t have the biggest amount of muscles in his body, his not as ripped as his highschool friends

body fat? also no, he’s a skinny, fairly tall boy who gets cold really easily

for real, he’s wearing a hoodie at all times, and in winter, he looks like a shell of himself

so you’re over at Kuroo’s house on a New Year’s party

the party ended like an hour ago, everyone is asleep

(Lev’s gonna be so dead when Yaku wakes up and finds the tall guy’s head on his stomach) 

you’re almost sound asleep in Kuroo’s guest bedroom, so gracefully given to you by the host

the only other person in the room is Kenma, who originally slept in Kuroo’s room together with his best friend, but got annoyed by the weird questions him and Bokuto kept asking

so he asked you if he can sleep on the couch in the room 

why wouldn’t you say yes? 

earlier that night Kuroo burnt pizza in the oven, so you all opened almost every window in the house to get the smell to leave

and kinda forgot to close the ones in the bedrooms

but no worries, you have a radiator

...right? 

why is the radiator set on the highest temperature and still stone cold? 

well, doesn’t matter, you can just wrap yourself in the heavy sheets

Kenma, on the other hand, only has a small blanket

And since it’s a party, he’s wearing a shirt, not a hoodie 

The boy’s freezing 

“Hey, are you asleep?” you hear a very quiet whisper coming from the couch. 

“Thought you’re here cause you couldn’t stand the chit-chat, Kenma?” you ask with a grin on your face. 

“Yeah, right. Sorry.” he mumbles and you hear him shift in his spot, visibly annoyed by the circummstances. There’s a moment of silence, in which he can feel his face almost burn down from embarrassment. 

Oh, my god, you sound like you’re annoyed with him here. Areyou? Come on, tell him you aren’t. He should just let you sleep. 

But does he really want to spend the rest of his night feeling his feet hurt from cold? Fuck, Kuroo, you and your stupid pizza. 

He gets up, tightly wrapped in his blanket, and checks the radiator. 

“It’s definitely broke” he sighs, touching the cold surface, and turns back to the couch, falling on it face down, letting out a groan. 

You giggle at his action, and he opens his eyes immediately, hearing the sound of your voice. 

“Kenma... I offered you the bed once already, it’s warmer” you start, but he raises his hand and shakes it in a disagreeing gesture. 

“No no, please, don’t worry” he mumbles against the couch, trying to ignore the, ironically, burning sensation in his legs. Is this a bedroom or is this Antarctica?

“Oh, come on” you say, opening the sheets. “We don’t want you to freeze, do we now?” 

Oh my god, what did you do. There’s so much thoughts racing through his mind right now. Should he do it? It sounds so nice... But should he really?

Fuck it, he thinks, you’re offering, he can’t turn down an offer from you. 

He lazily walks over to the bad and lays down next to you, at a reasonable distance, only to hear you laugh again. He spares you an annoyed glance, and you shake your head slightly, rolling over next to him, covering him with the sheets you have wrapped around yourself so tightly, and using his chest as a pillow. 

Hold on, that’s not what he signed up for. Why are you... How...? 

He hesitantly and gently puts his arm around you, relaxing his body, the scent of your shampoo making him slightly dizzy. 

Please don’t notice how fast his heart is racing. This is fine. It doesn’t mean anything, he can promise. 

rintaro suna as “hey dude, i hear cuddling helps you sleep, wanna try?”

the most chill person out there 

literally you would never have guessed how nervous he was before asking you 

it’s  just another week, another game and another hotel you are all staying in 

and fate is definitely on his side today, since his bedroom is literally next door to yours

he got to your door and left without doing anything about three times before he eventually decided to be a man and knock

has a master plan in his mind

he’s gonna show you a website with an article about how cuddling (allegedly) makes you sleep better 

and he’s just gonna be so causal about it 

he’s just gonna knock, put on an emotionless smirk and ask you, just like he always does

but here’s the think, he’s not so chill on the outside

“how should I call them? their name? a pet name? bro? no, too much” 

but, he does end up knocking 

“Hey, Y/N, what’s up?” you turn your head to the door to see a figure of Suna in only his underwear and an oversize t-shirt with the logo of some metal band. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” you ask, voice hoarse as you were already drifting off. 

“I read this super cool thing, wanna see?” he seems not to mind your comment, as he walks over to your bed and practically throws himself beside you, not minding you laying there, shoving his phone in your hands. 

“... help you fall asleep in just three minutes...” you’re mumbling under your breath as you read the headline. “Rin, this sounds so fake” you laugh, falling back on your pillows, as he sighs. 

“I wanna try, and it’s either you or Kita, and he gives me serial killer vibes” he mutters, earning yet another serie of laughter from you. 

But seeing the serious hint in his eyes, you lift your hands in surrendering gesture. 

“Go on with it, Mr Romantic” you state, watching in amusement as he groans at the comment and burries his face in your pillow. 

You’re sure this is him considering this mission a failed one and giving up, but then he looks up 

“Well, are you coming?” he asks completely serious, and you have nothing left to do than hug him and settle your face in the crook of his neck, not minding as his breathing lifts your hair from time to time and tingles your skin. 

Can someone feel your blush through their skin? You surely hope not. 

tobio kageyama as the almighty “the hotel room has only one king size bed and we need to share”

He never would’ve thought his teammates would betray him like this

What the hell do they mean there’s only two people rooms available and they’re all in pairs already

Honestly, primary school all over again

ugh

His perfectly happy to be sleeping alone, when he finds out you’re his roommate

this is fine tobio, don’t freak out

well he’s composed about it

a little bit of a “tch” and “well I guess there’s nothing we can do about it”

internally he’s a little girl now, but you never would’ve guessed judging by the annoyed grimace on his face

because how does it matter if you’re sleeping in the same room, it’s not like he was planning to run around naked, right?

it all changes once you press the card to open the room, and when he so gentleman-like lets you enter first, you find out there’s only one, big, king sized bed for couples exclusively

the only thing missing are rose petals and candles prepared for newlyweds

you try so so hard not to burst out laughing

when he enters, he becomes as white as the walls around

he can’t process this, what the fu-

bet he’s spending hours at the reception desk explaining it’s a huge mistake

unfortunately, these were the only rooms left, sorry not sorry, you’re sleeping together

and that brings you to the situation you’re in currently

He’s almost over the edge of making a wall of pillows between you two. You can’t help but feel a tiny bit offended by it, but you know he’s probably just super hyper embarrassed.

“Yama, who don’t you trust, me, or yourself?” you ask with a proud grin painting your lips as you sit on your side, sheets tucked around your waist, back rested on the wall behind you.

He gives you an annoyed glance, before answering:

“It’s not that”

Once he says that, he proceeds to somehow nestle himself in, but he looks like one of those dolls that come with a bedroom furnishing, almost lifeless, resting on his back with hands straight down his body, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Relax, will you?” you giggle “You have a game tomorrow, grumpy face”

He rolls his eyes.

You shake your head and turn off the light, mumbling a quiet goodnight, as you turn to your side and place a hand under your head, back facing Kageyama.

Well, this is gonna be a long night, or so you think, up until he falls asleep.

You can physically feel him move around, and you think that’s what’s keeping you awake.

It takes a while for you to realize the star valley ball player is getting unconsciously closer, up until you can feel his breath on your neck.

Ironically enough, it’s you who’s all stiff and nervous now, when suddenly you feel his arm go around your waist.

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me” you mutter, but he shifts dangerously when you speak, so you have to give up side commentary.

You decided to tease him just a bit. He’s the one who’s gonna be flustered when he wakes up, you’re on a winning side by being awake.

You smile to yourself before shifting your body closer to his. He sighs contently, almost making you laugh.

Oh how you want him to wake up and see already.

tetsuro kuroo as “we fell asleep on the couch together and now my hand is in your hair and you’re breathing directly on my neck”

you’re over studying, or just helping him with something

the point is, you were working all day

at some point he suggests getting pizza

hell yeah, pizza

you order a little bit too much of it, but since you both are suckers for pizza, nobody can back up first

and as you know, people tend to get sleepy after they eat too much

he has a wide couch, so you can both lay beside each other without having to lay ON each other

and as you tend to get a little bit sleepy, you both shift to lay down instead of sitting, still focused on the work, though 

you don’t know why, you don’t know how but it just happens that you fall asleep

you obviously don’t see what happens after that, but Kuroo notices you asleep when he asks you multiple questions and you repeatedly don’t answer, he got it like around question number 4

“Lazy much, huh, sleeping beauty?” he mutters to himself, but smiles unconsciously as he glances at your stoic face 

and as if that subconsciously impacted his brain, soon enough he can’t find it in himself to keep his eyes open as well. 

Kuroo wakes up to an annoying pain in his neck, causing him to hiss and automatically  want to place his hand on the place that ached. Whoops, did he fall asleep on the couch again? Oh well, didn’t he have work to do? 

He lifts his hand as he wanted to, but suddenly he feels something shift beneath it, and when he looks down to see you, with your head rested on his chest, breathing slowly, a peaceful smile on your face. 

Your legs are tangled with his in some unexplicable manner, and as the man of logic he so obviously is, he can’t even begin to understand how that happened. 

Especially why his hand feels so in place, holding you by the waist, closer to himself, and the other one lost somewhere in your hair. 

You shift your head slightly up, and sigh contently, now breathing directly on the exposed part of his neck. He somehow manages to not shiver at the tingling sensation, getting more and more flustered by the second. 

His heart rate inscreases drastically, making him realize he’s stressed like he’d never been before, as he tries to make up his mind about whether to wake you up, gently push you off and let you rest, or maybe stay in place. 

He feels attracted to the last one, but knows it’d only be unfair to you. 

But you could wake up if he moved you, and you had a long day, after all... 

Maybe he’s gonna let you stay there. Not for long, only five... more... minutes...

keiji akashi as “you’re staying over at my place, you take the bed, i’ll sleep on the floor. no, really, i’m comfortable on the floor. GEEZ FINE we’ll both take the bed, ya happy now?

You wanna know what got you in this situation huh

well, you were over for dinner, but it started raining really heavily 

like, really really heavily

and akaashi being the sweetheart that he is, can’t let you go home like that

it’s a long way to the train station, you’re gonna get sick, and what if there’s a traffic accident? he can’t have that

(he just wants to spend more time with you but shh about that) 

doesn’t matter how hard you try to convince him you’re gonna be fine. you’re staying and that’s final 

it’s cute, he’s cute when he’s worried 

well that brings you to where you are currently, already after your shower, dressed in one of akaashi’s t-shirts, oh this feels so couple-ish 

you wait for him to finish with his night time routine in his room, admiring all the posters and childhood pictures he has

he has the first ever selfie bokuto took with him framed 

when he comes back, that’s when the problems start

“Alright, well, let’s get some sleep, you can take my bed, and I’ll take the floor

And that’s what brings us to the guilt rising in your stomach as you settle in the guy’s sheets, inhaling the heavy scent of his shampoo from the pillow under your head. It’s his house, his bed, and yet he’s sleeping on the floor like some random guest. You’re the random guest here, you can’t help but feel like you’re crashing at his place against his will, and you’re making him uncomfortable.

“ ‘Kaashi?” you whisper, making his eyes open wide to see the dark ceiling of his room. There’s silence for a moment, and then he shifts to turn on the light once more.

“Yeah?” he sighs, bringing one hand up to his face to rub his eyes, unable to open them properly because of the sudden flush of light.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep on the bed?” you ask shyly, making him chuckle as he shakes his head.

“Yes, yes I’m sure. Goodnight” he states gently, turning on the light once again. This is gonna be a long night, he thinks.

You cannot catch your sleep. Damn it, damn your altruism and all that shit.

“Akaashi no, I can’t-“ you’re cut of by the sound of him laughing.

“Oh my god. Fine. If I move to the bed, will you sleep already?” he whines quietly, and seeing you nod in the dark, he gets up and picks up his pillow.

You get off the bed, wanting to swap places with him, but are held back by his hand.

“No, if you sleep on the floor, i won’t be able to close my eyes even for a second” he forbids gently, moving you back to where you were previously laying.

Oh boy, you both think, this is awkward, but the warmth of his body pressed next to yours makes it hard to be mad at him for stopping you from leaving.

This is gonna be a long night indeed.

[uglypastels]

Slide In // Frat!Tom

(a/n) I’ve never written this au before, in like a full fic i think, so i have no idea if this is good, but i had this idea in the middle of the night and yeah. I hope you guys enjoy. this may or may not have been inspired by a certain post @duskholland made about Tom and his mirror selfies <3 how amazing that he literally just posted one today lol

word count: 16.7k

warning: drinking, mention of drug use (weed), school, social anxiety, some smexy innuendos. i made some big last minute changes, so i hope its all coherent. 

DEEPFAVE: Liking a photo (or any post) from over a year ago.

It was a cloudy morning, and it was early. Really really early. Not even the birds felt up to it, it felt like. The campus was slowly awakening or going to sleep (depending on if you had been to last night’s Delta Kappa party, of course). 

It was cold, and the leaves fell off the branches with each huff of the morning breeze. The grass was wet from the previous night’s rain, and it soaked your ankles as you ran through the small grass field, in hopes to cut a bit off the distance to your lecture hall. 

It had not been your fault that you overslept. You had gone to bed early; your backpack was already packed for the next morning. It was supposed to be a relaxing morning, perfect for easing back into it after a week of sleeping in and celebrating the holidays. How could you have expected that your roommate would barge into your dorm at 2 am, still whoo-ing her drunk ass in the corridor with other wasted idiots? 

And it wasn’t like you were against all that partying and drinking. You would have gone yourself to the frat party, but it just didn’t sit right with you. A giant house full of intoxicated strangers- the anxiety running through you just thinking about it was making you shake. 

So, instead of “living a little”, as your older brother called it, you preferred to stay in bed most evenings, either watching Netflix or reading a book. Yet, still, you had been kept awake for so long last night that you slept through your alarm. What was supposed to be a calm morning turned out to be ten minutes of rushed panic. Eventually, you had decided to skip most of your morning routine, including breakfast, brushing your hair or even putting on a decent outfit. You ran out of your dorm, clutching on to your bag, phone and keys.

Your hair was reasonably alright. It was still in the braid you had made before going to bed, but a lot of hair had fallen out during your slumber. When you looked in the mirror though, you saw that it looked decent so you let it be. Not so much could have been said for your outfit. You kept on the same shirt in which you slept in, which was a slightly oversized grey graphic tee from a random indie concert you had been to ages ago. Unfortunately, it was so cold that you couldn’t just go outside in your shorts, so had to spend a precious minute slipping into a pair of sweatpants that were actually not as bum-looking as you had feared.

Luckily, the walk (or in this situation, run) to the lecture hall was short. So, you survived with only a thick sweater over your arms. 

And so, just like that, you were running through campus. The cold air was piercing your lungs as you inhaled deeply. Each breath started with this whistling sound, as you tried to ignore that pain, and ended in an exhale of a cloud of condensation. Maybe you weren’t in the best shape, but even this horrible experience would not make you sign up for the campus gym. No way. 

You could see the lecture hall doors, the wide wooden panelling already towering over you, and you slowed down. You were trying to catch your breath and composure. As always, the doors were heavy and to add to it, the wood could not handle the temperature, so it was even harder to open them. 

“Oh, let me,” you suddenly heard behind you, almost making you jump. The voice sounded familiar, but it wouldn’t click to a particular face just yet. 

“Thanks,” you breathed out as an arm extended from behind you, clad in a leather jacket, and pushed the door open with ease. You followed the arm up with your eyes and saw how it connected to an actual person. Yes, you definitely recognised him. But what was his name again? 

T- something starting with a T. 

He smiled at you politely, nodding the gesture for you to go inside. 

“Thanks,” you said again, before finally moving. 

“No problem,” he was walking behind you but quickly caught up to your side. You saw in his hand a Starbucks coffee, which almost made your mouth water. 

“Professor Dowling’s lecture, right?” he asked, before taking a sip. Your eyes unconsciously followed the movement as the need for caffeine was growing. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah,” you shook your head, focusing on anything but the delicious rich smell that you could sense coming from the cup—dark roast. 

“Well, good to know I won’t be the only one late,” he chuckled. Troy? Was that his name? No. He didn’t look like a Troy. 

“We’re not that late,” you checked your phone and cursed internally, “only… nine minutes.” 

“Dowling doesn’t care if it’s nine minutes or nine hours. Late is late.” He took another sip. You had to look away before your stomach realised how empty it really was. 

“True, I guess. Well, it was nice knowing you.” You sighed as you had reached the second door leading to the lecture room. Ty raised an eyebrow. No, his name was definitely not Ty. What was it?!

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, Dowling is gonna kill us, isn’t he?” You explained, and he nodded in agreement. 

He was again the one to slowly and quietly opened the door, giving you insight into the room. You almost yelled out in excitement when you saw that the lights had been somewhat dimmed for a slideshow that the professor was giving. You have Tim (nope, not Tim) a knowing look and smile. You had been saved. Then, the two of you slipped into the room, letting the doors close themself. You saw a few people turn their heads as you walked by together, searching for a seat, but you didn’t think much of it. You would have looked too if someone dared to be late for one of Dowling’s lectures. 

Finally, you found an empty seat. Two, actually. It was in the back of the class, so you hoped that once the lights would go back on, Dowling wouldn’t immediately notice the addition of two more faces. The mystery guy, as you were too tired to think of more names and decided to give up, sat down next to you. He pulled out his laptop and turned it on, quickly putting it on the lowest setting of brightness. Just before he had opened it up, you noticed a few stickers. Between a few references from tv shows and movies, you saw the logo of Delta Kappa. You only recognised it because you had been seeing the logo on almost every notice board the last few days together with the campus-wide invitation for last night’s party. 

So he was a frat boy. 

You looked up to the side at him as you pulled out your laptop and notebook. The notebook was more for doodling than anything. But also to write down some more of the essential or just entertaining parts of the lecture, since you had come to realise that writing things down by hand helped you remember better. 

Your heart stopped beating for a second as you opened your laptop, praying that no embarrassing tabs were open or, even worse, you still had Spotify playing on full blast. But you could let yourself relax when the laptop just showed you your desktop. 

Right then, you could hear your stomach growl of hunger. 

“Here,” suddenly T, as you decided to call him for the time being, slid over his coffee to your small desk. You looked up at him in confusion. He had a cap on, so there was not much you could see in the dark shadow, but you saw his sincere smile. 

You thanked him before grabbing the cup. Since it was Starbucks, you hoped to learn his name finally. But instead, in black marker, was written “Holland”. Last name. Well, that was something.

_________________________________

“Thank you,” y/n said before grabbing the drink, taking a look at the name written on it, and taking a big sip of it, although she quickly pulled it away from her lips, her face distorted in a sour expression. 

“Sorry,” Tom apologised, “my hand had slipped when I was pouring in the sugar.” 

“Yeah, I can tell,” she whispered, still a bit disgusted, but it didn’t stop her from taking another large sip. “How can you drink this stuff?” 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Tom grinned. 

Times weren’t exactly desperate, in his case. 

The party had been a massive success. Everyone seemed to have had a great time, and this time, not even at the cost of any of the frat house furniture. Sure, some people might have thrown up in the cooking pans, but that could be easily cleaned up by one of the pledges. 

It all ended around 2 am, which was fairly early, but it was, of course, a school night. Tom remembered to drink water before going to sleep and woke up with only a mild headache. A few painkillers solved that pretty quickly. He got up, stumbled a bit over the mess around the house and was on his way to class. 

He was sure he would have made it on time if it wasn’t for his usual appetite and need for coffee. Yes, he could have made it at home, but for some reason, the coffee from that machine always tasted like piss. And Tom did not want to find out why. So, it had almost become routine for him to stop by the Starbucks that was on the way from the house to the lecture halls. 

What he had not expected was the giant line of customers inside. More people had felt the need for coffee after a wild night of partying. He recognised some girls, still wearing the same dresses they wore to the party. A few guys who looked like they were on the verge of death were sipping their drinks in the corner of the room. The two baristas were running around behind the counter, trying to make the drinks as fast as possible. As fellow students, they knew that there were a lot of people rushing to get to class, at least. 

Tom had even looked at his phone, checking the time before he decided to step into the queue. He had majorly misjudged the time it would take the baristas to make the few drinks before it was his turn to order. In the meantime, people would walk up to him, also recognising him from the party, to tell Tom what a great time they had last night. 

Finally, he got his drink and made his way over to the second station and poured in some sugar. For that extra kick of energy, but also, secretly, because he could not stand the bitterness of coffee. Then, it was really time to leave the crowd. Tom never really minded people and was definitely what you call a “social butterfly”, but there was always a limit. And the limit on a Monday morning was minimal. Even smaller, if you are still trying to get rid of a hangover. 

He had just reached the main square of campus when he saw the big clock. He was already late, so it wouldn’t do much to run. Professor Dowling did not care for excuses or how late you were, even if it was a second. So he could as well just take his time. 

Others had different ideas apparently.

Tom watched as someone ran across the grass, clutching on to their backpack. She stopped at the same door that he was heading for, so he got to have a good look first. The first thing he saw was the back of her head. Hair made up in a braid that was falling apart. A large black sweater, probably her boyfriend’s, was covering most of her frame. 

She was trying to pull open the door that had the word PUSH on them, but Tom didn’t say anything. It was early, and by the looks of her, not that he was judging, she didn’t have a great morning. 

When they had made eye contact, he recognised her from the lectures but did not think he had ever heard her name being mentioned. Professor Dowling loved interacting with the class, no matter how large, and often called out people to answer his absurd questions. She had never put her hand up to answer. Tom was sure of it; he would have remembered her name. 

It interested him to see her pull out, not only a laptop but also a notebook. Did people even use those anymore? Even the dim light he could see the words scribbled on the cover. The decorative style did kind of make it hard to miss it. 

Property of y/f/n.

So that was her name. Tom couldn’t help but smile to himself. 

Having already missed the first ten minutes, he tried his best to focus on the words of the professor, but some things just couldn’t go unnoticed. 

By the look y/n was giving his coffee cup, he could tell that she had not had any herself and the sound of her empty stomach as they sat next to each other only confirmed his suspicion. So, it only felt like the right thing to do to give her some. And the smile he got in return definitely made it worth it. 

His attention was entirely gone by that point, as he watched her open her notebook. It was filled with little drawings. Some were more distinct than others. There were the classic five-petal flowers and the single mysterious eye with no other entity attached to it—also a few little scratchy tornadoes and random filigree. Patches of just lines and different patterns filled up the corners and extended out to the middle of the pages. Tom also definitely recognised a few attempts at bringing back the Super S in there. 

But what also filled up the page were little characters. She must have drawn them during the lectures around Halloween because he recognised a little witch, stylised to the perfect amount of cuteness. There was also a cauldron of bats flying off to the side. 

Tom could have looked at it for much longer and still find some more doodles in there, but unfortunately, she flipped the page. This one was blank. She took out a pen and started to doodle mindlessly.

First, a straight line, to which she attached little ovals. Lightly, but the lines got darker, the more she went over it. Then she made some more lighter lines across it. It made him chuckle when he recognised what it finally was—a piece of wheat. The way she stopped drawing for a second, Tom thought that she had not realised what she was drawing either. It was just a random coincidence where a few lines suddenly could make up an existing object. Then she continued. 

From time to time she’d stop to make a note somewhere in the middle of the page, something that professor Dowling said that made her giggle. It was adorable to hear. 

“Now, this,” Tom could hear the professor say from his little podium, the two little words shook everybody in the room awake because those they were code for IMPORTANT. As Dowling kept on talking, y/n closed her notebook and pulled her laptop closer to type. Tom had to pull himself together to focus on the actual lecture.

Then the sound of her stomach pulled him out of that. That was followed by the whisper of an angry “fuck”. Tom looked over to y/n again. She was trying to type something out, but her shaking fingers kept pressing the wrong buttons. She was crumbling apart from hunger. 

Crumbling… 

Suddenly, Tom remembered. He leaned down to look in his bag, hoping it was still there. It was.

“Hey,” he nudged her side, making her look up at him once more, with caution. He grabbed the small pack of Oreos and slid them over to her desk. She looked perplexed. Then she pushed the, slightly flat-looking, cookies back to Tom. He frowned. 

“I thought I’m not supposed to be taking candy from strangers.” She whispered. Tom chuckled and pushed the pack of four cookies back to her. 

“Well, good it’s not candy then. Eat. I can tell you’re starving.”

Y/n looked at the Oreos, not sure whether to take them or not, but her stomach answered for her.  She opened her mouth, but then she closed it again and turned away. Tom understood it. It would have been the fourth time she would have said: “thank you”. By now, he got the message. As she opened the packet of cookies, Tom went back to listening to the lecture. 

_________________________________

You hesitated before taking the cookies. Were they some kind of prank? You knew how frat guys loved to pull jokes on everyone, even if they were no better than middle school hijinks or cheesy April fools clichés. But the silver packet, except that it looked a bit flat, seemed to be untouched. Most likely because of getting squashed by something in his backpack. 

You opened it and were immediately hit with the delicious whiff of chocolate. You took out one cookie and didn’t bother with the usual way of splitting it open to eat the filling first. You needed food. Now. Even if it were just four broken Oreo cookies. It was better than nothing.

Obviously, you were still hungry and in need of a proper breakfast, but the small snack helped you hold out for the rest of the lecture. 

But now that your stomach was sorted for, you had another problem concentrating. Your new, still unnamed, friend tended to type very loudly. At first, you looked over in a bit of annoyance, which made you actually notice his hands. There was nothing special about them. They were naturally just hands, but the way he moved his fingers across the keyboard… it made you look back in that general direction a few times more.

Probably because of all these distractions, the usual hour and 45 minutes felt much shorter. Before you knew it, professor Dowling was saying his goodbyes and everyone around you started packing up their things.

Needing to get some food ASAP, you packed up your things and practically ran out of the room. Only as you were nearing the cafeteria did you realise that you had never said goodbye to your snack provider. 

Shit.

_________________________________

“Hey, so I was thinking-” Tom was going to suggest grabbing a bite for breakfast together, being somewhat hungry himself, but when he looked up y/n had already packed her things and was on her way to the stairs, following the other students out the door. 

Tom sank back down into his seat. 

“Any problems, Mr Holland?” Tom’s head shot forward to see professor Dowling looking up at him. When he looked around, he saw he was the only one who had not started packing up. 

“No, everything’s alright, sir,” Tom said before getting up with his laptop. “Great lecture. Learned a lot... and stuff.” 

“Good, good,” Dowling said. His glasses were slipping off his nose slightly, so he pushed them back up with his middle finger. “I did not expect you to have heard anything, by the way you and miss y/n were chatting.”

The professor’s words made Tom’s cheek burn up as he pushed the laptop back into its place in his bag. That man saw everything.Suddenly he felt as if he was in middle school again.

“Try to not make it a habit.” 

“No, sir,” Tom said.

Dowling just nodded, meaning the conversation had ended and giving Tom permission to sprint out of the room. 

He wasn’t sure why he was in such a hurry. Maybe he was hoping to find y/n waiting outside the doors. He didn’t even know why he wanted to see her there. He just did. He had this urge just to watch her doodle in that notebook of hers. There was something so endearing about it. 

Alas, no one was waiting for him outside that door. Or even in the proximity of it. There was no one but groups of students making their way from and to class. 

Then, Tom realised that she must have run off to the cafeteria. Still, he decided against going there. As much as he wanted to talk to y/n again, he didn’t want to come off stalkerish. Besides, they’d have another class tomorrow. He could speak to her then. 

“Ayo! Holland!” Tom looked over to a group of people he recognised to be his friends. They were gathered around one of the large windows that was open in the hallway. He waved to them before making his way over. 

“What’s up, man? You looked like a lost puppy.” Jacob said. 

“No nothing, I just zoned out a little, I guess.” Tom shook his head, clearing it off thoughts of y/n. 

“Well, we were thinking,” his best friend and fellow Delta Kappa resident, Harrison joined in on the conversation, “There is this new bar opening next week. The… something- shit, what’s it called again?” He looked over at the rest of the group. 

“The Sterling,” it was Zendaya that answered. She was sitting on the window sill with both legs in front of her, not living much space for anyone else to sit. She had something between her fingers, and Tom could not make out if it were a regular cigarette or a joint. (The smell insinuated at nicotine, so that answered for itself.) The fact that they were on campus did not make much difference to them. She took a drag and blew the smoke out, before handing it to Harrison. 

“So, Holland, you’re in?” 

“Yeah of course.” There’s nothing like the hysteria of drinking yourself sick in some new dingy place across campus. A new one would open up every few months because its predecessor would get shut down after too many accounts of selling alcohol to minors. It had almost become a game for younger students to see how quickly they can destroy a business. Tom and Harrison had been record holders for a while. Five weeks. Tom wasn’t exactly sure how anyone could tell they were the reason for The Six-Ball to close, but it didn’t matter. (“With a name like that, they deserve to shut down,” Harrison had joked before ordering two Long Island Iced Teas.)

Now that they were of the legal drinking age, of course, maybe it wasn’t as fun to go to those shitty holes in the wall, but with the right people, they made it a party every time. 

“Nice! So-” Jacob started talking about how he thought the night had to go, but Tom was already zoned out again. Between Zendaya and Harrison, he had the perfect view of the small grass field. Some people had sat down there with their friends to enjoy the midday, but most people still considered it too cold to sit outside. But what Tom was looking at was behind the grass field. It was the cafeteria doors. He saw that large sweater again. y/n walked out, holding something that looked like a sandwich. Tom smiled to himself. 

“What are you smiling about?” He got nudged in the ribs by someone. 

“Oh, you know, the uhm-” he had no idea what the rest of his friends had been talking about to include in his lie.

“I know,” Harrison said, lounging his arm across Tom’s shoulder to point in the same direction that Tom had been looking at. Tom froze up when he pointed straight at y/n with his finger. 

“Angela Pikowski.” 

“What?” It took Tom a second, but indeed, right in front of y/n, stood Angela with her own group of friends. She laughed at something, whipping her bottle bleached blonde hair across her shoulder. He understood too, how Harrison had caught her so quickly in his vision, for she had her jacket open and her shirt was pretty tight and low cut. How did that girl not catch pneumonia or some shit? 

“You ain't slick, bro.” Harrison patted him on the back. Tom, not wanting to get into it more than he needed, just grinned awkwardly. When he looked out into the square, Angela still stood there, but y/n was gone. 

_________________________________

The campus food was never that good, but it didn’t matter. The feelings of having actual food in your body felt so good that it might as well have been a five-course meal from a three-star Michelin restaurant. While, in reality, it was just a little bacon, egg and salad sub on stale bread. 

It did not matter. 

You enjoyed your breakfast as you walked down the path, back to your dorm. After that horrendous morning, and the pretty… interesting lecture, you were ready to lock yourself up in a room and do nothing but watch Netflix. And thankfully, due to having only one morning class, you could actually do it too.  

You said your polite “Hi”s and “Hello”s as you passed some other people you recognised from other classes. A bit hopefully, you were on the lookout for your (still nameless!) friend from the lecture. You really had to figure out what his name was. 

By the time you had reached your dorm building, your sandwich was gone. A part of you was still hungry, but you ignored that. You were probably just bored anyway. 

The dorm hall was basic in every way, from the carpeted grey floor to the plainly painted walls. But the inhabitants, of course, did try to give it some life. They hung up posters and banners, flags and lights. You reached the door that was decorated with a collage of different 80s glam rock artists and walked into your room. That college had been a little bonding experience with your roommate, Marie, during the very first week of Freshman year.

When you walked in, your eyes were immediately drawn to the lump on one of the beds. A groan erupted from underneath it when you switched on the light. 

“Ruuuude,” Marie yelled out. She came out from beneath the sheets. Her hair was bigger than ever, and you could see the mascara and eyeshadow stains under her eyes, and there was still some glitter on her. 

“You know, you should take off your make-up before going to sleep,” You said as you took off your sweater. 

“You know, you should put some on before leaving the house,” she said before diving back underneath her sheets. 

“Ouch,” you both laughed. But you couldn’t help but take a look in the mirror as you passed it. Maybe you could have used some concealer under your eyes, but it wasn’t that bad. Right? 

The room the two of you lived in maybe wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. You were definitely one of the luckier people in the building. Your room, after all, had just enough space for the two beds, desks and closets to mirror each other on each side of the room. You also went the extra way to put up some extra shelving on your side above the bed, since one closet was not enough. 

“Didn’t you have class this morning as well?” you asked as you sat down on. You could hear something coming from Marie that resembled an “Mhm”. Not in the talking mood, got it. 

So, in quiet, you pulled out your laptop and searched for something that did not look mind-numbingly dumb to watch, eventually settling for a show you had probably watched five times out of pure overwhelming of choice. After a while of moving around in your bed, you found a comfortable position at last and turned the show on, ready for a day of uninterrupted laziness. 

_________________________________

Tom got home a bit later than he had hoped. After making plans for the next night, his friends were determined to go out for lunch as well. What he thought would be just a quick grab-and-go, turned out to be a full two-hour lunch where they talked about anything and nothing. 

He loved the company of people, but not on Mondays. Mondays were his day to do nothing except for going to class, and Tom felt like he had already done too much. 

When he did get back, people were still busy cleaning the aftermath of the party. It had gone a bit wilder than Tom remembered. Some jackass had decided to spray paint one of the upstairs hallways, and the colour was not easy to get off. Luckily, it had become almost a custom for all the house members to lock their doors during a party. For privacy sake firstly, but like anything at Delta Kappa, it turned a bit into a game. 

The first two unlock their door, either if the person was too tired to stay at the party or wanted to bring a guest into their room, was obliged to do something horrible. It was up to the rest of the house to decide what. Fortunately for Tom, he had not been the first to unlock his door that night. That luck fell on poor Billy.

Even if it came to be so, the rule didn’t make sense because no one could check who the first one was to open their door and even if- it was not an official Delta Kappa rule. That meant that, even if the person got caught to be the first, they could simply deny the dare. They would be known as Head Chicken, of course, but there were worse things in life. 

Tom moved up the stairs, saying hi to a few of his roommates, feeling very lucky as one of the senior members of the house, he did not have cleaning duty. Most of that was up to the pledges anyway. 

He remembered when he had to do all those tasks and shit to get into the house. It was so stupid; he didn’t even understand why he chose to be in a fraternity, in the first place. 

He did think the other guys had gone a bit softer on himself and Harrison since at the beginning of it all, they had been chosen by the sorority of Alpha Zeta Zeta as the favourites. Still, some unspeakable things had been done that year. 

But now that he lived in a giant house with some of his best friends, it all felt like it was a bit worth it. He had a great time at Delta Kappa. 

One of the best pros, by far, was that he had his own bedroom. Spacious for everything he needed plus a bit more. A large, unmade, bed waited for him when he opened the door. That, and the happy barks of Tessa. 

“Hello, darling,” he bent down to pet her as she jumped to his knees. Tessa was the official mascot of the fraternity, but she had very early on found a great liking to Tom. It only took her a few days to get settled in his room, and from then on, she wouldn’t sleep anywhere else. 

Tom moved up to his bed, and Tessa gladly joined him. She patted down a circle before lying down with her head on his chest, letting out a satisfied huff of air. Even if he wasn’t comfortable, Tom had no way out anymore. He was stuck. With nothing else to do, he took out his phone and went through his notifications.

Some texts from Harrison and Jacob, a missed call from that girl he made the mistake of giving her his number. People were getting Wi-fi again because he got at least twenty different Snapchat pictures and videos from the party. 

What else there was plenty of, were Instagram mentions and tags. He went through the photos, smiling. It really had been a great party. Then, something popped up in his mind. 

Property of: y/f/n 

y/f/n

Could it be that easy? He could just search for her and hope to find her account. He typed it in. Her first name was already enough to get plenty of results. As always the profile pictures were too small to really make out a true identity, so he made his way through the accounts. 

He only needed three tries, though. The picture already resembled her, so with hope, he clicked on the account. 

This account is private. Follow this account to see their photos and videos. 

Tom sighed. Not so easy after all. Then he saw the bio. It was a bit vague, just a few random emojis. But what interested him was the Followed by and the fifteen mutual followers that she had. It couldn’t be anyone else. 

For some unknown reason, his heart was beating in his throat as he clicked on the blue Follow button and watched it turn grey. Now it was just a matter of waiting until his request got accepted. Or maybe denied. Who knows. 

_________________________________

Watching a show for the fifth time got a bit boring. You could still laugh at the jokes, but at the same time, you could also almost flawlessly quote it as the scene went along. So, a few episodes in you took out your phone and started scrolling through various app feeds.

Marie had fallen back to sleep since you could hear her snore in her bed. And you were falling asleep slowly too. It was so warm in your room, and your bed was so soft and comfortable. Your eyes were getting heavier by the second. 

Then a notification popped up, brightening up the screen in your hand. Half-awake, you tried to read it. 

(your account): Tom Holland (@tomholland2013) has requested to follow you. 

Tom? Your mind took a moment to process. Then the face finally clicked to the name. Tom! His name was Tom! 

Without much further thought you accepted the request and before you even put your phone down, you fell asleep. 

_________________________________

Not to sound desperate, Tom waited for a good half hour before rechecking his phone. He clicked on the Instagram app and the search icon. Her account was still the last one from the recent searches he made. Tom clicked on the account and, to his unexplained surprise, he was greeted with a gallery of pictures. 

He had noticed earlier that the count on top of the page said 53 Posts. Interested, he clicked on the first one. It was a picture of a coffee cup. It wasn’t tagged, but Tom recognised it to be from that café Le Moulin. He saw the distinctive black windmill on the napkin that could not be missed. 

He scrolled down. 

It was a selfie from last summer. The filter slightly enhanced her bright smile on the picture, but Tom could tell it was more to show off the warm atmosphere of her holiday destination. The next photo was from the same holiday, he assumed, of her and a group of friends. He recognised the girls from campus. When he tapped the picture for the tags, he saw their names. @tiffani.btx @bonne_marie @lucywithnodiamonds 

He thought to have spotted that Marie chick at the party. She was French if he remembered correctly. She was definitely a wild one. Might have even grinded up against him during one of the better songs that were played. 

There were some more selfies, solo and with friends, sunsets and landscapes. The picture quality got worse as he scrolled down. It matched with the timeline. People should not be keeping up their pictures from seven years ago, especially not with all those fucked up filters they used back then. Tom was, of course, one of those people. 

He scrolled to the last picture; it was of a dog—one of the cutest little labrador puppies. 

Out of nowhere, Tessa barked in her sleep, making Tom jump up. This sudden movement, in its turn, woke the dog up completely. Tessa kept barking. 

“Right, I think it’s time for a walk, what do you think?” He patted Tessa on the head as she tried to lick his arm. Tom got up and was about to leave his room when he realised he almost forgot his phone. The screen hadn’t turned off yet, so he looked at the puppy again. But something was off this time. Something had changed. 

The little blank heart under the image- it was now pink. 

He accidentally liked her oldest picture. 

_________________________________

There were two types of naps. Those that made you feel amazing and refreshed by the time you got up. And those that made you feel like you had fallen asleep on a bed of rocks. You felt even worse than before when you woke up. Your head was throbbing, and your bra had pushed itself into every possible part of your chest, making it that much more uncomfortable. 

“What time is it?” you asked Marie, but she was still asleep. 

The light of your phone almost blinded you, so you quickly put down the brightness. It was around four o’clock. Meaning you had slept for a good three hours. 

Besides the time, you checked your notifications. There were not a lot of them. A few spam emails, a few texts in a group chat you never responded too and… a like on Instagram? 

tomholland2013 liked your photo. 1 h 

You had to think back to the moment before your nap to remember that he had in fact requested to follow you. And you had accepted it. 

You clicked on the notification, and it sent you to the liked picture. To your surprise, it was the picture of your family dog, Spot. Your family had picked the name even though he was a completely yellow labrador, loving the irony. 

It was your first-ever picture, from over seven years ago. Had he been stalking your account? Why the fuck would he do that? 

Well, you thought, it was only fair if I do it too. So, through the like, you made your way over to his account. 

First thing you noticed was the number of followers he had. 15.7k How the fuck do people even get those numbers? Well, it’s easier if you’re a hot frat guy, of course. 

His profile picture was a mirror selfie, and clearly, it was his favourite composition, for at least five out of the first nine pictures in the gallery were the same style. All full-body reflections, with him holding the phone in his right hand, leaning his head a bit to look at the screen as he took the picture. His lips weren’t exactly in a smirk, but there was that cockiness in there. He really was feeling it, that was obvious. 

The first picture was a classic mirror pose- A black jacket and a black hat: the same outfit he had been wearing in class. You looked at the timestamp and saw that he only posted it an hour ago. Already it had dozens of comments and a low thousand amount of likes.

You scrolled down. A denim jacket and beanie in the mirror; a grey t-shirt and sweats in the mirror; a black suit in the mirror, the list could go on. There were other pictures, mostly from the frat house parties and other events where alcohol played a significant role. There were also the occasional front camera selfies. 

You couldn’t help but look at those a little bit longer. There was something about that small tight smile that he made that was so cute. In one of the more saturated pictures, with a deeper shadow, you noticed that his nose actually had a little bump in it, most likely from breaking it in the past. 

But just from likes alone, you could tell that the mirror was a public favourite. 

There was something about the confidence that the pictures portrayed that spoke to you.. He knew he looked good, and no one could deny it. Except, he looked so much better than good. 

It was interesting to be scrolling down his posts because it was like a trip back in time. At first, it didn’t wasn’t that obvious, just maybe a change in temperature during the year that was referenced through his clothing. Then it showed a bit more as his hair started to get shorter by each picture taken. It got shorter and shorter until his hair was not much more than a buzz. The reason for the drastic hair change was explained in the next picture. 

You had already scrolled down four years worth of pictures, and this one was of him (taken by someone else). Tom was standing in a victory stance on a grass field, which you recognised to be the campus square. He was only wearing boxer shorts and on his chest was painted, in bright blue paint, 𝜟K. Underneath the post, read the caption: Delta Kappa babyyy! with a bunch of other hashtags. One that was included was #deltakappapledge #initiated. Of course, it was during his pledge period. 

You kind of hoped that he had to do more than just shave off his hair because he didn’t even look half that bad. It even suited him actually. Hoping to find some more evidence of that embarrassing period, you scrolled on. 

The sound that came out of your mouth as you scrolled to the next picture was inhumane. Keeping to tradition, it was a mirror selfie. Behind him seemed to be some workout equipment, possibly from the campus gym, but no one would look at that. Everyone would be too focused on what was in the foreground. 

It was Tom standing in front of a mirror, chest glistening with sweat as his hair draped in front of his eyes. Instead of the usual pose, he stood sideways, showing off not only his flexed bicep as he took the picture, but also the outline of all his other muscles.

Completely forgetting what you were doing, you double-tapped the post. How could you not? Only a second later, did your monkey brain realise what you had done. You had made that exact same mistake as Tom. Except while he had liked a picture of a cute dog, you had made your mark on a shirtless selfie.

As the pure humiliation flooded over you, you threw your phone to the other end of the bed with a squeak. 

What’s done was done. 

_________________________________

Tom came back from the walk with Tessa after an hour. They both enjoyed a long walk around the park neighbouring the campus, just to then pretend like they were too exhausted and lay in bed the rest of the day. Well, Tom pretended. Tessa seemed legitimately tired. 

They went back to their position on the bed. Not sure what else to do, Tom got back to Instagram. There was no reaction to his accidental like yet. Not even a follow back from y/n. A bit rude but okay, maybe she hadn’t seen it yet? 

He shook his head. He didn’t like this weird side of him. Where had it even come from? Since when did he wait for anyone to respond to him? And they weren’t even having a conversation! 

Having nothing else to do, he searched through his phone gallery for a good picture to post. He chose one he had taken during lunch, on his way from the bathroom. It was still crazy that his friends wanted to go to a place where you needed to take an elevator to go to the toilet. 

He didn’t care for editing, so he went through the usual Instagram process of making a post, thought of some dumb caption and send it out into the internet. Soon enough, as if they had a notification on for his activities, the likes streamed in.  For the first few minutes, he tried to look through them, again hoping that y/n would be one of the likes or the heart eyes emojis in the comments, but quickly it became too much, and Tom couldn’t keep up. He still enjoyed reading the comments.

Of course, it was all one big ego boost. The praise and compliments, even if it was for something as shallow as his looks, definitely gave him a good kick of dopamine and all those other happy chemicals during the day. 

Tessa was snoring and drooling on his belly as Tom went through his timeline and explore page. There was not much exciting happening in peoples’ lives, but it made the time flow by faster. An hour had gone by probably when he decided to recheck his activities. His new picture already had a few thousand likes and was close to reaching a hundred comments.  He went through some of them and either liked them or responded with a matching emoji. 

But as he scrolled through the activity, he saw a like that was to a different picture. A rather old one too, just from the beginning of college. And who might have liked this picture? y/n 

She liked a workout selfie, huh?

With the confidence that the like gave him, Tom clicked on her account and the message button. He thought about what to send for a moment but decided against overthinking it and went with a simple- 

_________________________________

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: Hi 

You looked at the notification for a while. He definitely saw you had liked his old picture. Was he going to make fun of you? Tease you how you had outed yourself for thirsting over him? 

But maybe he just wants to talk? You tried to sound optimistic to yourself. After all, he did like an old picture of yours too. You were kind of in the same boat.   

Putting all worries aside, you clicked on that damn nerve-wracking notification, and without much more thought send out the reply. 

(y/n)

Hey :) 

Before you could even send out the smiley, the message rose to reveal “SEEN” beneath it. Was this happening? Was it? You could see he was typing. 

(tomholland2013)

After stalking me you could have at least followed me back lol 

(y/n)

Right sorry just a lot of mirror selfies. Thought i’d seen everything there is to see 😂

(tomholland2013)

Rude Seen anything you like though? ;)

Uhhh, of course, you have. You liked it. A lot. But you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction. 

(y/n) 

No not really 

Quickly change the subject. 

So what are you up to? 

Good enough subject? 

(tomholland2013) 

Just lying in bed with Tess

Tess? Who was Tess? Did he have a girlfriend? If he did, he would have posted something on his Instagram, right? That’s what couples did? Unless it was just a one time fling. You couldn’t even call it a one-night stand since it wasn’t even night. 

Wait, why did you even care about that? You had literally only said hello to each other and shared a coffee during class. 

But the curiosity was gnawing at you.

(y/n) 

Tess? 

(tomholland2013)

Yeah, she’s falling asleep on my chest. Kinda tired her out lol

You looked at the text, unsure how to respond, or even if to do it. Was he telling you about his hookup?  It didn’t sound like the nice guy you had met in front of the lecture hall, and that gave you his leftover coffee and Oreos. Your face wrenched into a grimace, not sure anymore what to make of this conversation or of what had happened during class.

He was typing again. 

Wanna see? 

Jesus Christ, this was a mistake. You didn’t respond, but he still sent you a picture anyway. It was a timer, unfortunately, meaning you had to click on it to see what he had sent. But he could see you got the message and that you were online. The longer you took, the more prominent you would make it that something was wrong, and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He had given you his coffee. 

The curiosity got the better of you once again, though, and you clicked on the little bomb. What popped up was almost what you expected- but at the same time, so not. Before your brain properly processed what you were looking at, you were scared that he had sent you an unsolicited dick pic, but it was the furthest thing from that. 

What you saw was a POV shot of his chest and legs. He was indeed lying on his bed. On his chest, however, was the head of a grey silver dog. “Tess” had her eyes closed peacefully as she slept on. 

Of course, it was a dog. 

You decided to be honest. For the benefit of the conversation, if anything. 

(y/n) 

Omg 💀 

(tomholland2013)

We just came back from a long walk, so she’s pretty knackered  What?  Did you think I meant something else? 

Embarrassment kicked in anyway. 

(y/n) 

No... lol 

(tomholland2013)

You sooo did lmao Jealous much ;)

(y/n) 

Of the dog maybe

(tomholland2013) 

Cause she gets to be here with me? 

(y/n)

No I meant it like  She’s so cute  I want one

(tomholland2013)

Relax  I was just messing with you  But if you ever wanna come over

(y/n) 

Maybe another time 

The response came out in a panic. Had he invited you for what you thought he did? No, there was no way he did. Besides, you couldn’t go to his house. You barely knew the guy- your mind kept on whirring about it. But the conversation continued.

Soon the sun had gone down, and it got dark outside, but the messages kept coming in. At one point Marie finally woke up from her hangover slumber. Drowsily she got up and headed for the shower with a towel and toiletries bag in her hand. Before she left, though. She asked you if you could prepare something to eat for dinner since she was starving. You being you, agreed.

(y/n)

Hey, I think I gotta go for a bit. Gotta make dinner for my roommate

(tomholland2013) 

What’s on the menu? 

(y/n) 

Probably spicy ramen? 

(tomholland2013) 

Damn. sounds good But can’t she make it herself? 

_________________________________

A part of Tom wanted to send another message. I want to keep talking to you. But that felt like a bit much. She was typing again anyway. 

(y/n) 

Because she’s still hungover from your party lol Thank for that btw 

(tomholland2013) 

You make it sound like i am personally responsible 

(y/n) 

Well your the only guy from DK i know so  you’re**  💀fml. There go my chances of an english degree 

(tomholland2013) 

Nah babe YOU’RE good ;)

 _________________________________

Your heart fluttered at the little word, for no reason. It was just a text message. He probably called every girl he texted that. Still, the sentiment was there. Also that winky face of his. Could he stop? 

He started to type again. 

(tomholland2013) 

But if you ever wanna meet the other guys, you really are welcome to come over. 

(y/n) 

I’m good thanks. 

Going to a frat house alone? You felt like that could easily be the start of your personal horror movie. It would absolutely crash at the box office, but that didn’t matter. And it was the second time he invited you to come over. If it was a hint, it wasn’t a subtle one. It didn’t stop you from doubting it.

(tomholland2013)

No need to be scared. They’re pretty chill dudes. 

It was cute how he could read your mind because you were undoubtedly scared, but what he probably did not think was that you weren’t interested in meeting any other frat guy because there was only one on your mind at the moment. 

(y/n) 

Maybe another time  ttyl? 

You had sent the last message in the hopes that he had as much fun talking to you as you did with him. You watched eagerly as the three dots danced around on the screen while he typed out his answer. 

(tomholland2013)

 Absolutely

_________________________________

Tom turned his phone off with a smile covering his face. He had just spent talking a good two hours to y/n, and he had to admit, he hadn’t had that pleasant of a conversation with anyone in a long time. It was just so easy to talk to her. It might be partly because it was only texts. But still, she was funny, sweet, and so pretty...

Unbeknown to himself, he was falling a little bit for y/n. Although, maybe he did feel it coming. The idea of getting another text from her made his face heat up. The idea of seeing her in class the next day almost made him… giddy. And it’s only been a day. 

“Hey, man,” there came a knock on his door. “Better hide anything that would make it awkward between us cause I’m coming inside in 3-2-1-” 

“‘S all good,” Tom said right as Harrison walked through the door. 

“We’re gonna order pizza, what do you want?”

“Just the usual, I guess,’ Tom shrugged. Honestly, he didn’t really feel like eating pizza but to be the only one that wasn’t having any wasn’t a good strategy either. 

“Alright, then.” As quickly as he walked in, Harrison was also leaving the room. But he peeked his head through the door once more before actually walking away. 

“Hey, are you sure you’re good?” Harrison looked at him through narrow eyes.

“Yeah,” Tom answered as he prodded himself to sit up. “Why?” 

“I don’t know… Nevermind.” And with that, Harrison left to share Tom’s order. 

It was a rare occasion that all the house members would be at home on a night that wasn’t reserved for a party. That night, when it came to dinner, it was around 8 of them. Everyone was already sitting on the couches when Tom came downstairs to grab his pizza. He grabbed a chair and his box and sat down. A football game was playing on tv, and it made Tom roll his eyes. He still had no real idea of how football was supposed to work. He always preferred golf or basketball, or even baseball. 

The guys cheered at a touchdown or whatever but all Tom could focus on was his phone. He kept checking if there were any notifications from y/n. So far, there was nothing. She was probably busy, he told himself, not wanting to feel too disappointed. 

 _________________________________

“So who were you texting back then?” Marie said as she slurped on her noodles. You were playing around with your own portion a bit, not really in the eating mindset.

“Huh? No one.” you shook your head.  

“So it is someone. C’mon. Who is it?” She extended her leg to poke yours. She kept going until you finally gave in. 

“Just this guy from Dowling’s class.” you finally took a bite of ramen. 

“Aaand does this guy have a name?” Marie kept on asking. 

You looked up from your cup of noodles. “Tom… Holland.” 

Marie gasped, almost dropping her food onto her lap. “Tom Holland? As in Delta Kappa Tom Holland?’ you nodded your head yes. “No fucking way.” 

“What?” Not the most nuanced reaction, but it would do. 

“No way you have a crush on Tom fucking Holland.” You always noticed that when Marie cursed her French accent would show up again. Just the slightest bit. This time, however, what you stayed on was her statement. 

“I do not!” you said as your cheeks were heating up. 

“Ohhh, you do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said ‘nobody’. Everybody knows that ‘nobody’ is code for either crush, boyfriend, or drug dealer. And I think we can exclude the last option.” you were going to protest, but you would have only been fooling yourself. 

“So, hypothetically, let’s say I do have a crush on him. Why did you scream out ‘No way’?” You bit your lip, a bit scared for an answer. 

“No, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that.” Marie put down her ramen on her desk and came to sit down next to you on your bed. “I didn’t mean that you, like, don’t have a chance with him. Please, if anything, you’re too good for him.’ you both chuckled. “I just didn’t think he’d be your type.” 

“What, hot?” You raised an eyebrow to which she slapped your shoulder. 

“You’re being difficult. I mean, so… out there. You know, he’s basically the leader of that frat house, he always parties, always has stuff to go to. And you’re… well, pretty much the exact opposite. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Completely not. I just don’t want you to put yourself in any positions that you’re uncomfortable with to impress him or anything. Remember, you are too good for him.” 

“Thanks.” you hugged her from the side. “But don’t you think that it would be good for me to go out once in a while? Out of my comfort zone?”

“Sure, if you’re actually doing it for you. Not some guy.” 

“He is really nice, you know.” you smiled, remembering what had happened that morning. You went on telling Marie about it. 

“Oh, so he’s got a crush on you too, huh? That works out perfectly. ” She finally said when you were done telling your story. You looked at her with wide eyes. 

“What? Noooo,” you said, letting an awkward laugh escape through the no. 

“Fine, whatever,” Marie moved back to her own bed and grabbed her cup of ramen. “But I bet you that if you check your phone now, you’ll have at least one message from him.” 

You rolled your eyes again but grabbed your phone either way. And, fair enough, you had two notifications from ten minutes ago. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: Heyy

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: I hope the ramens good

Holding in your smile, and ignoring the smart ass comments of Marie, you replied quickly. 

(y/n)

It was :)

_________________________________ 

The speed at which Tom checked his phone when he felt the vibration in his pocket could have caused someone severe whiplash. He responded to the text and got up. Ultimately, he had hoped that he could slip out the room unnoticed, but he never got what he wanted, did he? 

“Where are you going?” It was Dave that saw him get up. Tom stopped in his tracks like a little kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“Just up to my room. Feelin’ a bit tired.’ He explained. This answer received several strange and confused looks, but Tom ignored those and just walked upstairs without saying another word. He plopped down onto his bed. Tessa was still downstairs under the table chewing on some pizza crusts, so he was finally alone. 

The texting continued through the whole night, and Tom had wholly lost the sense of time. He didn’t even feel tired. If it wasn’t for y/n saying that she was about to fall asleep, he wouldn’t at least. Like that, the windshield crashed, and he felt the fatigue from the hours of messaging and staring at a screen overwhelm him. He just about managed to send out goodnight before his eyelids were too heavy to open up again. 

_________________________________

The next morning you woke up feeling much better than either time the day before. Fresh and energised, with plenty of time to get ready before class started. Not that you really put much effort into how you looked for the morning lectures. It was more mental preparation. With enough time to eat breakfast, shower and brush your teeth, you felt excellent walking out the door. Dressed in a sweater that was warmer than two jackets and some loose jeans. With your bag over your shoulder. 

You always thought the walk from your dorm to the lecture halls was delightful. The path leading toward it was enveloped in a tunnel of trees, and during the end of the year, when the leaves were turning into their auburn and golden shades, it almost felt warmer than in summer. Because the harsh wind still kept up with its schedule. It blew in your face as you walked, rubbing against your cheeks. 

When you got there, the lecture hall was still relatively empty. Only a few other people had taken their seats. This was the crucial moment of choosing your seat. Against all your own instincts, you walked down to the bottom of the auditorium, into the fourth row. You had never sat that closer to professor Dowling’s podium, too scared you would be too easy to notice and called to answer a question. But something in you told you to be brave. 

Besides, you had the idea that Tom wasn’t eager to sit there either.

As much as those butterflies in your stomach fluttered at his mention, you didn’t want to talk to him now, not during class. You needed to pass this class badly and to do that, you needed to focus. Something you could not do with him sitting next to you. 

That’s what you told yourself. It was, of course, true, but the bigger problem was that you were scared. Tom sounded like a nice guy, a very good looking nice guy, but Marie’s words played in your head. He was from a completely different world. And it was a scary one. Why not keep a bit of a safe distance at first?

So, you kept your head buried in your notebook as people started to stream into the room. One by one, the seats around you were getting occupied—none of them by Tom, for better or for worse. 

_________________________________

It had taken Tom a while to find y/n. He walked into the room, thinking he had come in with plenty of time to spare, but as he was making his way down the steps, the professor was already making his way to the podium. Tom tried to look around the room as quickly as he could, but he could not see her. Where was she? 

Professor Dowling coughed loudly, indicating for everyone to shut up and sit down, so he could start the lecture. Tom took the first empty seat he saw. An aisle seat somewhere around the 8th row. The course started, but Tom’s eyes stayed on the seats, looking for that braid. 

It wasn’t a brilliant plan, because he had no idea if she had actually kept that braid in for another day. And she had not, in fact. He noticed her, sitting somewhere at the bottom of the class, as she grabbed her hair and was pulling it up into a bun. She did it so quickly, so smoothly, without ever letting her attention get away from her. Focused on the class. He could really learn something from her. 

And he tried to take a page from her book as he finally looked ahead of him to see Dowling write an entire essay on the blackboard. He cursed himself and quickly started to type everything over. His fingers went in fully automatic mode, and he had no more idea what the words he was typing actually meant. 

His mind had wandered off once again. He couldn’t stop feeling that disappointing pull at his heartstrings. He had hoped they could have had a repeat of yesterday. She apparently thought differently. Or maybe she had hoped he would sit next to her, but he was just too slow? 

The lecture went on forever, felt like. Tom’s fingers were cramping up from typing so much, and he could feel his back beginning to hurt in the uncomfortable chair. He kept stealing quick glances at y/n, hoping to catch her in doing the same, but she had not moved once. 

He had to get a grip. They had known each other for one day, spoken maybe ten sentences to each other in person. The rest was all through text. And nothing was the same via messages. Maybe all his feelings were coming from the entirely wrong place? Perhaps she was just polite, and he had misinterpreted it for casual flirting? Besides, there was that sweater of hers yesterday- what if she had a boyfriend? 

But a part of him still wanted to ignore all those signs and go for it. So, when the bell rang, and professor Dowling finally dismissed the class, Tom made sure he was one of the first ones outside. The large hall had two exits, so he stood against a wall, somewhere in the middle between both doors, hoping to catch y/n as she was walking out. 

The loud rumbling of thunder caught his attention momentarily. 

It was just a second, he swore to himself. But the second was enough to miss her. Somehow she had escaped him, nowhere to be found.

_________________________________

You had seen Tom waiting out in front of the room, and you felt horrible for walking the exact opposite direction. For the sake of your own feelings, you didn’t look back at any point on your way to your second lecture. 

As Professor Phillips spoke, you felt your phone vibrate. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: where are you? :) 

The little smiley made heat up in the cheeks, but you tried to ignore that as you typed out a response. You didn’t even click the notification to go to the app, just responded through the shortcut. 

(y/n): had another class

Another notification popped up not long after. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: wanna meet up later? 

(y/n): ngl I don’t feel well, will probably head back home right after

(y/n): but i’d love to chat

You shut off your phone, too scared to see the reply. Maybe it wasn’t the best move since you could not think about anything else for the remainder of the class. When you checked your phone again on your way back to the dorms your heart was lifted. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: of course. hope you feel better <3

_________________________________

Tom tried to think that she wasn’t avoiding him. After all, they texted almost every possible second that they had the time for the past week

They had talked about pretty much anything and everything. And it felt great. The way they spoke to each other, or at least Tom to her, was as if they had known each other for ages. 

Tom only wished he could do that with her from across a table, or a on a bench. Where ever, he didn’t care. He wanted to be able to look into her eyes as they talked and see her smile. Hear that lol and not just imagine it. 

Unfortunately, y/n was kind of giving him the cold shoulder in the real life. She ignored him during classes, and was gone before he could get the chance to talk to her. Whenever he asked if they could meet, she’d give him some reason she couldn’t. If it wasn’t for the fact that they had actually already met in real life, he had vary valid reasons to think he was being catfished. 

Another reason could have been that she sounded too perfect.

It was the next Tuesday already, and Tom was waiting eagerly for the lecture to end. It had been a full week and he had decided, while copying some of Dowling’s notes, that he would talk to y/n today. After class. 

Tomorrow would be the opening of the Sterling and he wanted to ask her if she wanted to come.Or at least to know if she wanted to hang out ever. If the truth came to be no, he would be fine with that. He respected that. He just needed to know. It wouldn’t take away from the fact how great it was to have someone to talk to, even if it was only through text bubbles.

The bell rang and Tom sprinted out. He kept his eyes on both doors as best as possible and finally saw her. 

_________________________________

“Hey, y/n!” you heard your name being called from behind you. It was from Tom. He waved to you so would come over. Taking a deep breath, you decided to wave back, but your legs were frozen in place.

You felt absolutely terrible for ignoring him and denying his various invitations to hang out or to go anywhere, but it was just too terrifying. You were scared of fucking it up. Of it to turn out to be one big joke. You had heard of frat guys using dates and hookups as dares and shit. You didn’t want that. You couldn’t let that happen.

But when you saw Tom smile at you, those worries suddenly disappeared and your legs moved without connecting to your brain. Suddenly, you found your spot next to him.

He had been leaning against the wall with one foot, his arms crossed. You decided to lean against it with your shoulder. Even though you had your sweater, you could feel the grizzly texture of the bare red brick. He smiled and mirrored your movement, so you were only a few inches apart. ,

“Hey,” he said, still with the smile on his face. 

“Hey,” you replied. 

Tom uncrossed his arms to brush his fingers through his hair. As you watched him do so, you couldn’t help imagine how it would feel to play with his hair. It looked so soft. 

“I just wanted to say,” he licked his lips. You were so close to each other that you could see how pink and chapped they were. Focus. “How much fun I had the past week. It’s bee really great talking to you.” 

“I had fun too,” you said. It really was nice talking to Tom. Especially now, standing so close to him, you could smell the coffee he had consumed that morning. Was it pumpkin spice? You felt stupid for not letting it happen sooner.

“Great, that’s- that’s really great to hear. I said great already, didn’t I?” He laughed, shaking his head, “Anyway, I was thinking: a couple of friends of mine are going to the opening of this new bar, the Sterling, it’s probably going to be a bit boring, but I thought, maybe you’d like to come? With me?” He looked at you with those big brown eyes. Your mind started racing a million miles an hour at his words. The fuzzy warm feeling that you got from looking at his smile was dispersing and setting in for anxiety.

He wanted you to go to a bar with him and his friends? Would that be considered a date? For the sake of your dignity, you decided against asking for clarification. It didn’t matter. You couldn’t go to some dingy bar with strangers, even if one of them was Tom. You could already feel your body heating up in anxiety as all the horrible scenarios played out in your head. 

You realised you had been quiet for a while and Tom was still looking at you hopefully. 

“No,” you blurted out. “I mean, I can’t. Sorry.” 

“Oh, that’s fine. Totally. Maybe another time? Or if you don’t wanna go there, we could go somewhere else?” 

“Uhh,” you couldn’t breath. All his suggestions were so sweet, but it felt too overwhelming to answer. Thankfully, the clock tower at the other end of campus rang and indicated the quarter of an hour. Your next class would soon start, and it was about a five-minute walk to get to. 

“I have to go.” you pointed back and started walking, but Tom grabbed your hand gently, just enough by your fingertips. 

“Sorry, I just- if you don’t want to hang out with me, that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend to like me, no hurt feelings. I don’t want you to-” 

“I do, Tom,” you told him with a compassionate smile. Then you looked back at the clock. “But I really got to go.” 

“Right, sorry.” he let go of your hand, and you ran off to your next course. 

 _________________________________

“Who was that?” 

As soon as y/n ran off, Tom heard the voice coming from next to him. Zendaya popped up out of nowhere, an unlit cigarette hanging between her lips as she leaned in the same spot y/n had. 

“Just a friend,” Tom shrugged. That’s what they were, after all. If even. He hoped he could describe someone he had mainly only spoken through texts with as a friend. 

“You sure about that?” Zendaya smirked. “Cause by the looks of it, she’s got you pretty hooked. You were basically begging her to go out with you, bro.” 

“Yeah, well, forcefulness isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac, is it?” he sighed then almost turned pale at the words he had said. Zendaya didn’t say anything, just nodded and took out her glittery lighter. 

“Could you not?” Tom pulled the cigarette out of her mouth before she could light it and put it in his pocket. “We’re inside, for fucks sake.” 

“Fine, but tell me who this friend of yours is.” She nodded her head back into the direction that y/n ran in. 

“I don’t really know. I mean I do, but- Basically we met last week before class. Then I found her on Instagram and DM’d her-” 

“You slid into her DMs? Bro,” she laughed. 

“Call it what you want, it was the only way of reaching her I had.” 

“Fine, so you like her, yeah?” 

“I guess.” Tom didn’t like sharing his feelings. It put him in this vulnerable position that he was not used to. Zendaya knew that, yet still she pushed him to do it almost every time they talked. 

“For what it’s worth, I think she likes you too,” she said. 

“How so?” he questioned hesitantly. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Zendaya had pulled that trick on him to date someone. And it had not ended well. 

“Well, body language for one, she felt comfortable enough around you to stand close to you, facing you; she smiled at your rants which, props to her, is hard to do.” 

“How long had you been watching us, exactly?” Tom asked a bit freaked out. Zendaya ignored the question.

“Believe me, she likes you. She’s just scared.” she pulled out another cigarette from her pocket, “also, taking a girl to a shithole like the Sterling for your first date? I’m glad she said no. Set some standards, man.” And with that lovely comment, she walked away. She didn’t have to see Tom flipping her off, she knew he would do it, and she replied lovingly in the same way. 

That’s what you got for being friends with psychology majors. 

 _________________________________

The first thing you did after walking out of your second class was to check your phone if you had received any messages from Tom. There was nothing. So you decided to message him yourself. 

(your account) 

Hey  Sorry I ran away like that  And basically anytime after class and making those dumb excuses not to meet up Just so you know I do really wanna hang out with you I’m just not really great with crowds or with places like bars and stuff And ive also never really been asked to go anywhere with anyone, like personally  Idk why im telling you this. I’m definitely rambling Texting is definitely easier than talking huh Sorry for all this 

It took Tom two minutes to see your messages and to respond.

(tomholland2013)

It’s totally okay. I get it And sorry if i made you uncomfortable with all that.  Can i come to your place tonight? Or how about we go to Le Moulin?

Le Moulin. You had been there before. You could do that. With trembling fingers of excitement, you replied

(your account) 

Deal. Around 7?

(tomholland2013)

Sounds perfect. See u then 

 _________________________________

Tommo: Hey guys, sorry but im gonna have to skip on tonight 

This short message was seen and very much not appreciated by his friends. None of the replies could be seen as appropriate for day-time television. Except for the one Zendaya had sent him through their personal chat. It was simple, 

Z: 👍

With the entire afternoon off, Tom made sure he looked somewhat decent for the night. He took a shower. Washed his hair and made sure it was extra soft. He wasn’t sure what y/n thought of it, but from past experiences, he knew that usually, girls loved his hair. Thinking about other girls was probably not the best mindset, though. Still, his hair did look really good. He brushed his fingers through it. 

It had not yet stopped raining, which was a bit of a problem, but he hoped she wouldn’t mind getting a bit wet. For the sake of it, he took an umbrella with him. Luckily it wasn’t very windy, so it actually came to good use. The walk from the frat house to the dorm that y/n said she lived in wasn’t too far away, and fortunately on the way to the place he had in mind to take her to. 

On his way over, he thought about what Zendaya had told him. 

Was y/n scared? Of what? 

They had talked about that kind of stuff briefly, during the weekend, and she and said that she suffered from anxiety. Tom just thought it was stuff like giving a presentation in class. He hadn’t even thought about the more social aspect of it. And here he was pushing all those things at her like going to some bar with strangers. Jesus, why did he have to be such a dumbass? 

The dorm complex had a buzzer system like a regular apartment complex, so he searched for her name on the long list, and pressed the button next to it. 

“Hello?” It was her roommate, Marie, that answered. 

“Hey, it’s Tom. I’m here to pick up y/n.” He could hear some indistinct giggling coming from the other side of the line. 

“Of course, c’mon up. But I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a bit.” Next followed the buzzer, and the doors opened for him. The number on the button said 54, so he assumed it had to be on the fifth floor. When he walked up to the door with that number, he was greeted with a colourful collage of rock bands whose hair was probably more impressive than their vocal range, which said a lot considering Queen was on it. 

He knocked and waited for someone to open. y/n was the one to do it. She stood frozen in the door, only a towel wrapped around her body. 

“I thought we said seven?” she said, her voice a bit higher than usual.

“It’s quarter past seven!” Marie shouted out from inside the dorm. y/n cursed. 

“Shit, sorry, I lost complete track of time. Give me ten minutes, okay?” she held up a finger so he would wait here. Tom nodded and let her close the door again. He could still hear her yell at Marie as to why she had not told her she was running late, to which Marie only responded with hysterical laughter. 

“Holland?” someone in the hallway asked a few minutes later. Tom turned in the direction to see a guy with a head full of bed hair poke out of his doorway (which was covered in pictures of death metal posters and my little ponies). He stepped out in the hallway to reveal he was wearing nothing but a pair of tiny and tight briefs, leaving little to the imagination. 

“Oh hey… Crocker,” he called the guy by his preferred nickname. 

“Hey man, what are you doing here?” Crocker asked. The way his eyes were almost ruby red and the stench coming from his room, Tom presumed that the guy was higher than a kite. 

“Oh you know, waiting for a date, heh.” He said a bit awkwardly, pointing back to door 54. 

“Ah, getting some of that French jay nehsuh gwaa.” 

Tom looked confused. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard someone butcher a language that badly. Well, probably, but he didn’t remember it. He kind of understood what Crocker meant, though.

“No, I’m here for y/n. Not Marie.”

“Damn? Really.” Crocker started to giggle, which might as well just have been a side effect from whatever he had smoked up in his room. 

“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure how else to react. Crocker just shrugged and walked back into his room, smashing the door closed. Tom turned slowly, not sure what exactly had happened just then. And he turned right on time too, because the door of dorm 54 opened and y/n walked out. Wearing a raincoat over a sweater and jeans. She also had a pair of black ankle boots on. Tom could not help but smile at the sight of her. 

“Sorry about that,” she said, the nervousness in her voice was unmistakable. 

“First,” Tom spoke, remembering one of his earlier worries from days ago, “you don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” The question made her laugh.

“I very much do not. Why did you think that?” 

“The sweater you wore when we met. It had that whole stole-it-from-my-boyfriend vibe.” 

“No, I haven’t had anyone to steal clothes from in a long time.” she shook her head. Tom extended his hand for her to take, which she gladly did. It felt amazing.

“So what will you be ordering?” 

“Ice cream,” Tom answered, almost matter-of-factly. 

 _________________________________

“Ice cream?” you asked to make sure you had heard him correctly. He nodded in agreement. “Don’t you think it’s a bit cold for that?” 

“No.” He said bluntly, which really sold the case for you. You were on your way again.

You could hear the rain pound against the main door before you even reached the ground floor, and it only got harder and louder the nearer you got. Tom, being a true gentleman, opened the door for you, but you were a bit hesitant to walk outside. 

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” he let you hold the door so he could step through the threshold and push open the umbrella. You noticed it was a Delta Kappa umbrella. They really made merch of everything. As he put the umbrella up, he extended his arm for you to intertwine yours through. Then, you walked. 

Though it was relatively early, the sky was pitch black because of how early the sun set those days and the dark clouds that had been pestering the sky that entire day. Not a star was to be seen. The rain tapped heavily against the umbrella, and you tried to stay as close to Tom as possible. The excuse, of course, was to not get wet but really you wanted to enjoy the warmth that he was giving off. At one point you had changed position from just having your arm over his, to him wrapping his arm over your shoulder. 

You walked down a brightly lit path, so you could see everything around you. The trees, the cars passing by, the building. So, when you saw the little café at the end of the street, you squealed. 

While there were plenty of bars, pubs and clubs to go to around town, so there were restaurants and cafés. And while restaurants really weren’t your thing, you loved to sit in one of the cosy coffee shops with a cup of tea or coffee and read a good book. Another fun thing about all those places was that they were very internationally orientated, speaking to the wide variety of students that the university had. Le Moulin was of course based on a Parisian café. You had actually found it together with Marie, in hopes she could have something that felt a bit closer to home. Though it didn’t come close to the real magic of the French capital, it still had plenty of its charm in it. Not to mention, the pain du chocolats were to die for! 

Yet, you had never actually had ice cream from their menu. 

You still weren’t sure if today would be the day for it. By the time you wear under the little entrance roof, you were freezing, and so was Tom, visibly. 

“Are you still sure about the ice cream?” you asked him as he closed the umbrella.

“Hot chocolate?” he suggested, suddenly fluent in your love language: chocolate and hot drinks (it was a very simplified version of said love language). 

This time Tom got to be the real gentleman as he let you walk inside first. He dropped the umbrella in the stand, together with a few others. When you looked around the café, you saw that a few more couples were enjoying the cosiness. A sweet melody was playing from the speakers. The rain had also softened outside, and together with the vintage sounds of guitar and vocals, it gave the perfect atmosphere for the night.

You had barely stepped inside when one of the waiters walked up. He smiled and said: “Your table is ready,” which surprised you, but Tom took you by the hand, and you both followed the waiter to one of the tables next to the wall, where one side had a couch instead of the usual chairs. You sat down first, taking off your jacket. Tom was going to sit opposite you, but now it was your turn to grab his hand. 

“Slide in.”

He smiled and sat down. He probably didn’t need any convincing and just wanted to hear you say that you wanted him to sit next to you. You didn’t mind that. 

“Should I prepare the order?” the waiter asked as you made yourself comfortable, again confusing the hell out of you. 

“Actually, scrap that. We’ll have two large hot chocolates.” Tom said. 

“With cinnamon!” you added. 

“One with cinnamon.” Tom corrected. The waiter nodded and walked off. 

“Don’t like cinnamon?” you quizzed, to which Tom shrugged. 

“It’s alright, just not a big fan.” Both of you looked around the room. You had never been in the café at night, so you hadn’t even realised that the walls were covered in soft gold lights, giving it all that much more the feeling as if you had stepped into a fairytale. 

“I didn’t know this place took reservations.” 

“I’m not sure either,” Tom replied, you noticed he had his arm draped around you again, “I just called to be sure.”  

“Really?” That split you up into two. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought that he had made a special call to the café to get, probably, the best seat in the house. On the other side, you were freaking out for a few reasons. He had put in quite the effort in an almost last minute notice of plans, while you were fifteen minutes late. That was embarrassing enough. And this reservation basically put you in a spotlight for the entire business, which was really not ideal. You didn’t want to be noticed. 

“Hey,” he whispered and squeezed his grip around you lightly, “everything okay?” 

“Huh? Mhm,” you nodded your head and smiled, trying not to think about how the waiters might be judging you. 

“I saw you had posted a picture from this place on your Instagram, and I used to come here a while back, so I thought it would be cool, but if you don’t like it-” 

“It’s perfect,” you made up your mind. In the end, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. You felt safe, sitting on the little couch, next to Tom. 

Soon after, the waiter came back with two mugs of hot chocolate. When Tom ordered large ones, they delivered. The mugs might as well have been cereal bowls, topped with a peak of whipped cream and cocoa powder, and a cinnamon stick in your cup to distinguish the two drinks. 

“Et voila!” the waiter put the cups down. You thanked him, and he was gone again.

There were spoons, but you decided to stir your chocolate with the cinnamon stick. 

Still with his arm around you, Tom took his mug up to his lips. With the feeling of having him so close to you, you wondered what this really was. What if he just wanted to be friends and spend some time with you? Had he noticed how sad and lonely you were, and did he want to take his pity out on you? Were you a charity act for him? God, you hoped not. You really really hoped not.

“Tom?” You looked at him, to see his eyes dart in your direction. His top lip was covered in whipped cream. You gestured it to him, slightly giggling, and he wiped it off with the back of his hand. How was someone that hot, so adorable? 

“You were saying?” he said, putting the mug down on the table in front of you.

“I was just wondering,” Be quick, get it over with, you’ll feel better when you say it. “is this a date?” 

“Do you want it to be? It doesn’t have to.” He added the second part quickly after.

“I- I think I do,” I smiled. Though he had just put his mug down, he picked it right back up, you did the same.

“Then a date it is.” You clinked cups. Still, something felt off. You were holding the cup up to your lips, but just far enough not to be able to drink from it. Your eyes glazed over as you focused them on the mural in front of you. It was of the Paris skyline. With the Eiffel tower in the middle, the Arc de Triomphe a bit to the left, on the other side stood the two symmetrical towers of the Notre Dame cathedral. It was probably geographically inaccurate, just good enough to keep everyone who had never been to the City of Love satisfied. 

“Okay, something’s up.” Tom brought you back to the date. “What’s wrong? And, please, be honest.” 

“I don’t know,” you huffed out a laugh. “But before you start to freak out, it’s nothing to do with you, I swear.”

“So, you kind of know what it is about.” he raised an eyebrow. He had a point. If you knew what it was not, it meant you knew what it was, indeed. 

“I, uhm,” suddenly you felt very much aware of everything and everyone around you. Were they listening? “Well, I really want to apologise for being so distant outside of Instagram.” 

“There’s really no need for that, darling,” he said. “I understand it, and should have been a bit more considerate. I should have realised sooner that bars and shit aren’t your cup of tea.. or hot chocolate.” 

You both laughed. 

“Yeah,” you were smiling, but the word came out a bit as a sigh, conveying your all the troubling thoughts that were going on in your brain.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Tom saw through it. You bit your lip, not sure how to say it. You didn’t want to say it. He would probably think you were a joke. Besides, all those people around. Some of them from your school. They could probably hear every word you were saying.

“Do you maybe want to text it to me?” he suggested with a kind smile. You hadn’t realised when he had moved, but he had let go of your shoulders, and his hand was now on top of yours. His thumb moved slowly over your skin, reassuring you that, whatever it was, it was okay. 

How you hoped it was. 

You grabbed your phone and started to type out your message, taking a deep breath before sending it to him. You heard the vibration in his pocket, and with it, your heart skipped with anxiety. Tom kept holding on to your hand as he took out his phone and read the text. His eyes shot wide open. 

“Wait, really?” 

 _________________________________

“Never?” he asked, to which she bit her lip and shook her head. 

No, it wasn’t possible. 

“How has no one- nooo,” 

“It just… never got far enough- No, I mean, ugh,” she finally took a sip of her hot chocolate. Tom had to admit that it was cute how that was her go-to frustration action. She wiped off the whipped cream from her lip. Tom couldn’t stop looking at them, they were just so perfect. He wanted to feel her, to taste her. He wouldn’t even mind the taste of cinnamon that would have remained on them. 

“There was just never a guy that made me think, oh yeah, I want to kiss him,” she said after another sip of the hot chocolate. 

“So, you’d want to kiss me?” 

“Shut up,” she said glaring, but just to hide the big smile on her face. 

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you’ve never been kissed.” She flinched a bit at his words. “I don’t mean it in that way. You shouldn’t be ashamed of never being kissed. Sometimes it happens early on, sometimes it doesn’t. If it wasn’t for my pledge, I don’t think I would have had my first kiss till last year.” He confessed. y/n looked at him with eyebrows that had a twist of disbelief in them. 

“Yeah, right.”

“I swear,” Tom laughed, putting his hands up. “So really, no judgement here.” Then he leaned in to whisper into her ear, “and I definitely won’t mind breaking you in,” He couldn’t keep a straight face saying it, and neither could she. He had thought it would make her nervous or flushed, but she just slapped him on his arms teasingly. 

“In your dreams, Holland.” 

“Fuck, I hope so.” That made her freeze, just for a second though. “Shit, too much?” He asked, afraid he had finally taken it too far with his inappropriate humour. 

“No, you’re good.” She took another sip of her hot chocolate, allowing Tom to do so as well. 

“See, just because I’ve never been kissed, it immediately puts me under this label of being a prude or something, but I’m really not. I’ve just- had a really shitty love life.” Or just a complete lack of it.

“Well, I hope to change that.” He leaned in again and pecked her cheek. That finally got him the flushed reaction he had hoped for. 

“You already did.” 

 _________________________________

Your hand moved up to your cheek, hovering above the area that he had kissed. You felt like an idiot, but with Tom, it didn’t even feel like a bad thing. 

“We’ve known each other for less than two days, and I can already tell you, you’re way up there in the list of good dates.” 

“Way up there? Give me stats.” He nudged on. You thought for a second. 

“At least… top ten.” 

“Top five? Oh C’mon, babe, I think I’m a bit better than that. Not to toot my own horn, of course.” 

“Top five.” You said, ignoring the butterflies that had escaped in your stomach. He glared at you. You glared back, keeping your eyes on each other for another moment until he had dipped his finger in his hot chocolate and pressed it against your nose. You blinked in confusion. 

“That just moved you down to number six.” 

“Well, shit.” Tom leaned in and licked the whipped cream off your nose. As disgusting as it should have been, you burst into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in his chest to not disturb the rest of the restaurant. While you were trying to calm down, you felt Tom kiss the top of your head a few times. 

Finally, you sat up again. 

“Top three,” you stated. It was good enough for Tom. For now. 

You drank the rest of your drinks in the best silence possible that could be kept as both of you kept laughing at each other. Finally, the mugs were empty. Tom paid for everything and let you take the lead to walk outside with the umbrella. When you opened the door, however, you saw that the storm had now passed over into a light drizzle. You kept the umbrella closed. 

You were already letting yourself get taken up by the rain when Tom was outside. You thought he would come to join you, but he stayed under the little roof, watching you with a big smile. 

“Not afraid of the rain, are you?” you asked. “Or are you made of sugar?” 

“All I can say is, come and find out for yourself.” You were already a few steps away, so you hopped over to him, took his hand and took the final step, so you were touching chest to chest. His other hand found its way on your hip. You saw his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips. You smiled and pulled him in closer, making you take a step back and exposing him to the weather. 

“Mutherfucker!” He gasped, not having expected that. “Ohh, you’re good.” 

Before you knew what was happening, he had picked you up by the waist and spun you around. You squealed from surprise before the both of you started laughing again. Eventually, he had to put you back down again, and your eyes widened in horror when you saw him walk to a large puddle. 

“No, Tom! No, no, no.!” He put you down right next to it. Probably an inch from the water edge. 

“C’mon, I’m not that mean.” he pouted. 

“Nah, you’re a softy,” you poked his cheek. He grabbed your hand. 

“Oi, I wouldn’t go that far.” then kissed the tip of your index finger, which you had poked him with a second before.

“Too late, I guess.” 

“You sure about that? You’re still really close to that puddle babe. We wouldn’t want any… accidents!” He gripped you by the waist again, and the sudden movement made you feel like he was gonna throw you down into the puddle. You shrieked but soon felt his arms still around you and no parts of your body were soaked (only moderately wet from the light rain) or on the ground. He was still holding you. 

“You never answered me,” he said, his sweet laughter was gone, and his eyes were on your lips again. 

“Answer what?” you kept looking at his face as a whole, taking in every detail. The way his nose scrunched when droplets of rain well on it. How one of his eyebrows was more bushy and irregular than the other. The dimple in his chin, his freckles- everything. 

“If you wanted to kiss me.” 

His golden-brown eyes were so warm, even in the dim street lights at night. His wet hair was sticking to his face, but framing it so nicely. His jaw was sharp, it didn’t seem like it should be real. 

“I do.”

His lips. Though thin and a bit chapped, they still felt so soft. The sweet taste of chocolate, mixed in with the rain that had fallen in the few moments that you stood outside. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you in closer to him. It felt so good. So right. 

You pulled away but with no idea how much time had gone by. His stands stayed in their position, his eyes searched yours for a reaction. Nothing came from it since you were still in an emotional daze. 

Tom chuckled. 

“Fuck, I should have slid into your DMs sooner.” 

“Way to ruin the mood, Holland.”

“Oh, you love it.” He said before pulling you into another kiss. 

The END

> song played in Le Moulin: Rendez-vous sous la pluie (Jean Sablon)

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed

> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to see more of this au cause i really enjoyed writing it :)

> if anyone has a comment about how it had only been a day since they met etc. i wrote this 15k story in the span of 24 hours. i wish i could have added more to it but at this point, i am physically and emotionally exhausted and do not want to make it even longer. 

>masterlist and link to taglist in bio

tagging:

@definitely-not-black-cat @artemisiaarm @nerdyhockeygirl @miraclesoflove @justasmisunderstoodasloki @thefridgeismybestie @m19friend @creative-happenings @parker-holland-osterfield @fanficparker @fanficscuziranout @peterparkoure @xxtomxo @happywolves81 @captainbuckyy @tra-gicx @qxeen-of-hearts @varshavisuu @kangaroobunny @petersunderoos96  @the-lost-fairy-tale @nerd-domland @sleepybesson @rissa067 @the-queen-procrastinator @scarletteclipze @screeching-student-unknown  @spiderrrling​ @captainpeggy40 @tomhollanders2013 @miraclesoflove @playinonaloop @queenoflostspirits @roses-hxlland @hereiamhereigo @sunnydays0803 @averyfosterthoughts @moorehollandplz @beiroviski @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @peterparkerbabyyy @multifandomlover21 @lmaotshollandd @badbitchydecisions @tikapollak @awesomehritz​ @madzleigh01​ @oh-what a beautiful-parker @taciturnspidey​ @quaksonhehe​ @mountainsforwords​ @harryfobter @peepeeparkerr @viagracex​ @ethereal-beauty-p​ @slytherin-chaser​ @worldoftom​ @moonysoftt​ @peeterparkr​ @wazzupmrstark​ @saintlavrents​ @peachybloomss​ @blissfulparker​ @chloecreatesfictions-archive​  @fallinfortom​ @bitchydecisions​ @okokimfreakingoutahh @cicicantblog​ @musicalkeys​ @joyleenl​ @multifandomdoodles121 @awkwardfangirl2014​ @marvelouspeterparker​

[twinklelilstarkey]

can i request an fluffy rafe imagine where he and reader break up (drugs) so sarah makes a girls night bc y/n it’s really sad and then rafe apologizes to her and they back together? omg i think it’s a little confuse..

A/N: Not confusing at all babe. I really like what you requested! Hope you enjoy it! — I’m sorry for not making it as fluffy as you probably wanted me too ❤️

Get help - Rafe Cameron

Words: 2.9k

Type: Angst & Fluff

Warnings: I- This is wayyy more sad that I intended it to be. Sorry? (Mentions of drug addiction and rehabilitation clinics, swearing... and I think that’s it)

DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!

It’s been a week since you last saw him and it still hurt. You miss him so much and it has become harder and harder to ignore these feelings. You have tried making yourself believe that this happened for the best of the two of you but it’s slowly getting tougher to swallow.

You and Rafe had been dating for years before that night happened, it still hurt to think of him.

You believe you’ve cried everything you could. Your body is now completely dehydrated and no tears are being created. In which you can’t help but thank with your now zombie-like mood.

“I’m going to get us a coffee, do you want anything else?” Sarah, your best friend, who is sitting next to you, asks.

You shake your head and she gives you a small smile. You stare back at the screen of your laptop, in hopes to finish what you were previously doing for school, and try to ignore all the sound around you.

You whisper the words you were reading to yourself, trying to make them make sense, but your peaceful silence is broken by a group of guys walking in the café. You sigh annoyed while staring at the screen, wanting to throw something at their loud mouths. But decide otherwise.

“Hey, Sarah. Haven’t seen you in a while” One of the guy says and you lift your eyes to where Sarah is standing.

Sarah smiles at Topper and starts a conversation as soon as she does it. You look away from them and look at the other person standing beside him, Rafe. He’s looking around himself, eyeing the inside of the café that he has never seen before. 

You force yourself to look away and lean back on the couch that you’re siting, trying to pay attention to something else other than him as your chest gets heavier and heavier by each second that passes.

Sarah says a little goodbye to Topper and ignores her brother’s presence before walking towards you. Rafe fakes trying to trip Sarah and she sends him a glare, which just made all the boys laugh. 

His eyes follow his sister and his smile falls at the sight of you staring at the screen of your laptop. You look up at Sarah as she hands you your drink and laugh at something she says.

He pleads, in his mind, for you to look up at him but you don’t do it. You’re too distracted with whatever his sister is saying to you. And only God knows that might be.

“Yo, Rafe. Can you please come back to Earth for a second?” Topper asks, making his best friend snap out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, what, sorry?”

(...)

“I promise it will be cool” Sarah insists, “We can spend the night watching movies and eating junk food”

“How is going to my ex boyfriend’s house going to help me move on or even feel better?” You ask as she lays comfortably in your bed.

“He’s never home at Friday’s!” She exclaims, “We’ll have the house to ourselves the whole night. It’s way better than staying here, where you need to have your door open because of your parents... Seriously, when are they going to trust you enough to close the door?”

You chuckle at her words and shake your head.

“Ah! Made you laugh!”

You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to your book.

“Now, can you please agree on coming over to my house? It will be so cool, I already have so many movies in mind. Oh! And soooo many snacks”

You think for a few seconds in silence.

“Please” She whispers into the air, looking at the ceiling, “You will have so much fuuun”

As Sarah is done singing her words, a smile fills your lips again and you sigh.

“Fine. But just tonight”

(...)

If Sarah could describe out loud what she’s feeling, she would have to do a whole essay. Because...

Why the fuck is Rafe still home at this time of day? Isn’t he supposed to be in a party?

The thing is, you’re almost getting to her house. Just like you had planned. There’s snacks on top of Sarah’s bed, the chosen movie is already paused at her bedroom tv and the pizza is also on its way.

Her 19 year old brother is the one fucking it all up. 

You’re supposed to come into her home to forget about him, and be calm and relaxed. And now, she feels like wherever she looks, Rafe’s there.

“Weren’t you supposed to be at a party today?” Sarah finally asks.

Rafe looks up from his phone, still leaning back on the kitchen counter, not even knowing that she had been glaring at him this whole time.

“Yeah, but I decided not to go” He answers with a shrug.

“Won’t that make you a bad friend?”

She’s using every play in the book now. She needs him gone for at least the whole night.

Rafe chuckles at his sister’s words and looks at her confused.

“No?”

Sarah sighs and walks over to the fridge when listening to his answer. Rafe follows her with his eyes as she fills a cup with water and curiosity takes over him.

“Why?”

“No reason”

“Bullshit”

Sarah rolls her eyes at his stubbornness and looks back before staring back at him.

“I wanted the whole house for myself and my friend, is that too much to ask?”

Rafe laughs.

“Since when am I such a bother to your little sleepovers? You never leave your room anyway”

Sarah opens her mouth to answer but the ringing of the doorbell stops her from doing so. Rafe lifts his eyebrows as if in surprise when seeing her reaction and lowers his eyes back to his phone.

Sarah glares at her brother when noticing that he isn’t planning on leaving the kitchen any soon and turns on her heels to go to the front door. 

As she walks closer to the door, she smiles at you through the glass and opens it.

“Hi!” She says excitingly, “Are you ready for the night of your life?”

You smile at her, “Sure”.

Sarah steps to the side to let you in the house, and you wait for her to start walking towards her room so you can follow her.

As you pass the kitchen doorway, you can’t help but look inside. You’re used to looking in and seeing Rose doing something, but this time, it isn’t Rose. It’s Rafe.

Air gets caught in your throat and you look away as quickly as you can. Rafe stays on his phone innocently, not even acknowledging who just came into his house.

Should you say something to Sarah? Does she not know that he’s in the house too?

You and Sarah get to her room rather quickly and she closes the door right behind you two as you walk in.

She’s quick to lay in her bed and open the covers for you, and you can’t help but grin at her as she opens one bag of chips right away.

“You ready?” She asks before pressing the play and you nod, “Let’s go”

Sarah presses the play and the sound of the universal studios entrance fills the silent room. You bring the covers closer to you and Sarah hands you the bag of chips just so you can take some of them.

And...

Not even halfway through the movie, Sarah highly regrets watching the movie while laying down because she’s out like a light.

You stare at the TV in silence, grinning slightly at Sarah’s slight snores as the main characters talk about their feelings in the TV.

But your mind is occupied with something else. You’re not paying much attention to the movie anymore. The plot stopped being of your interested when you noticed that Sarah had chosen the movie purely because of the cast.

Understandable, we’ve all done it. But romance movies are not a good choice when you’re trying to forget your failed relationship.

Already tired with your thoughts, you stand on your feet, away from the bed and drag yourself out of the bedroom.

Rafe must be in his party, now, since that was what Sarah said when you questioned his presence in the kitchen.

You walk down the stairs of the empty and silent house and drag your warm feet over the cold ground towards the kitchen.

As you grab a cup from the shelf above you, you almost groan at all the memories that hit you at once.

All the times that you and Rafe made breakfast on his days off classes, eating cheap fluffy pancakes until you felt sick with just the idea of drinking water. Or when you helped him through a big hangover after a big party.

The second memory hits you like a tone of bricks. 

Those mornings and the nights before, after the parties, were the reason of your breakup. You couldn’t stand to see Rafe kill himself with all the alcohol almost every night and the various drugs that his friends could get a hold of each month.

You walk towards the fridge, chest heavy with heartbreak, and fill your cup with cold water. The feeling of the freezing temperature over your fingertips wakes you up back to reality.

You hear steps in the hallway, right outside of the kitchen, and you don’t think much of it as it might be Sarah.

The door swings open and your eyes widen slightly at the sight of Rafe. His hair a complete mess, his eyes hold a sleepless look, and his clothes are slightly scrunched up. He looks like he’s had a rough night.

You don’t say anything, looking away as he looks at you. He clears his throat as if to fill the silence in the air and walks towards the shelf, grabbing a glass cup. 

He didn’t know you were the one sleeping over.

He doesn’t look at you or says anything. 

You can’t help but think in all this silence how much you want to run home, right now. You love Sarah but you can’t stay here any longer.

Your feet don’t move from under you and you’re left to stare at the floor as Rafe fills his cup with water as well. 

Both of you silent, fearing to break the peaceful absence of sound as your minds fill with all the good memories and the possible beginnings of conversation.

You finish your water and walk towards the sink to leave the cup beside it. Rafe’s eyes stay on you as you do it, but you don’t care to look up before walking out of the kitchen.

“Shit” Rafe whispers to himself as he hears your footsteps getting further away from the doorway.

You walk in the living room, not wanting to go back to bed, and make your way towards the glass sliding doors that lead to the porch.

The warm air of the last summer night hits you and you walk out, leaving the door slightly open. You walk towards the railing of the porch and lean against it, watching the calm waters under the dim lighting coming from the house.

You sigh as you rest your cheek over your fist and close your eyes to try and concentrate on your breathing other than your feelings.

The door behind you slides slightly but you don’t care to look back to see who it is. But that is until, it slides closed and someone stands right beside you.

“I wanted to talk to you” Rafe says.

You take a quick look at him before staring away into the grass of the garden right in front of you.

“About?” You ask in a whisper as he doesn’t say anything else.

“I don’t know” He answers with a shrug and you frown in confusion, “I just wanted to talk to you”

He really likes making everything worse for you, uh?

“We’re not supposed to be in talking terms,” You answer, “Not after our last conversation”

“I know”

You look down at your hands and play with your fingers as a way to fight out your emotions.

“I’ve- Uhm...” Rafe starts but pauses. You look up at him and see him scratching the back of his neck while staring at the ground.

“You’ve what?” You encourage.

“I’ve been clean for a week” He admits and looks down at you.

You look away and do a very small smile, rather fake, while staring at the grass once again.

“Hope it lasts” You say before biting your cheek.

“Me too”

Silence, again.

“I’m... I’m sorry for not listening to you before. About the addiction, I mean.”

You don’t say anything.

“You were right, and I was too stupid to not want to listen to you” He continues, “I’m sorry”

You look up to find him still staring. His gaze softens at the sight of you finally looking back and you give him a slight grin.

“You don’t need to say sorry. I’m sure it’s not something easy to swallow, to hear someone say that you’re addicted to something”

Rafe observes your expression twitch slightly at the mention of his addiction and his chest tightens at your saddened gaze as you sigh.

“I did it to myself” He admits with a shrug, “Just didn’t expect these many consequences to come from it”

“Like?”

The look he gives you is a good enough answer. You look away with that and he tenses up next to you.

He just screwed everything up, didn’t he?

“It happens, Rafe” You whisper, “At least it was able to motivate you into changing”

“Yeah... It was” He agrees, “I just- you know, feel like this could’ve been done in other ways”

“Of course, it could’ve” You answer bringing your shoulder up as if you’re shrugging, “This is just where our argument took us”

Rafe can’t help but disagree. It wasn’t the ‘argument’s fault’, it’s his. His words. His sick and disgustingly affected by whatever he took, words.

“Will you ever forgive me?” He blurs out, catching both you and himself by surprise.

“Forgive you?” You ask confused, “I’m not even mad at you”

“You’re not?”

“No” You say with a frown, shaking your head slightly, “I’m mad at myself more than I am at you. I could’ve helped you before you became addicted, and I-”

“You know it isn’t your fault that I’m the fuck-up that I am, right?” He asks you and you glare at him.

“Don’t call yourself that” You say, “We’ve been over this, Rafe.”

“It’s true” He says with a slightly annoyed tone, “I fuck up everything, I’m just-”

“Shut up”

He falls silent, not wanting to ruin anything further.

“You’re not a fuck up” You say, annoyed that he could even think that, “Don’t let your mistakes fucking define you, Rafe. We’ve talked about this. You’ve fucked up, yes. But who hasn’t?” You pause so that the words can sink in, “Sarah has fucked up, I’ve fucked up. Your own dad has fucked up before... I didn’t break up with you because of your mistakes”

He looks at you confused.

“I’ve broken up with you because I couldn’t bear to see you kill yourself any further while everyone fucking stared and did a whole bunch of nothing” Tears swell up in your arms, “And that maybe, just maybe, you could’ve taken your mind off your drugs to just think about what you can lose with them”

You sniffle and look away, not wanting him to see you cry.

“It was my selfish way to make you wake up, want to try and get help-” You say with your voice shaking, but he interrupts you.

“Hey” He says, “It wasn’t selfish”

“I-”

“No, you’re going to hear me, now” He interrupts, “How can you say that what you did was selfish when you were trying to help me? That makes no sense! I’m not getting help yet, but if that’s what you want me to do, I’ll call my dad right fucking now and I’ll go to a clinic tomorrow”

“Rafe” You start, turning back to look at him.

“I know I’m supposed to do this for myself and not anyone else, but fuck. I’ve been dating you for years. I love you more than I’ll ever love myself. I can’t lose you. Not over something that I did”

A sob escapes your mouth and you cover it with your hand. Rafe, with that, pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around you.

“Just please, give me another chance” He whispers into your hair, “This time, I’ll get all the help I need. I won’t ever push you away, or put anything before me and you”

You wrap your arms tightly around his torso and sniffle into his chest.

“Okay” You whisper, “But you have to promise me that you’ll get the help as soon as possible”

You look up at him, still hugging him, and he looks down at you.

“I promise”

A faint smiles is drawn over your lips and Rafe presses a kiss onto your wet cheek, pulling you back into the tight hug.

“I’ll call my dad tomorrow” He whispers.

“And I’ll be there with you” You whisper back.

- - - - - - -

I honestly almost cried while correcting this. Am I the only one?

[boom-bakugou]

‘Wherever You Are’ - Shoto Todoroki/Eijiro Kirishima

A/N: This piece is for my @bnhabookclub bingo card! I’m crossing out “Be Quiet” and ‘Heated Argument’. I would also like to thank @honeytama @shoutogepi and @dragonhrte for beta reading <333

Pairings: Pro Hero!Todoroki x F!Reader / Pro Hero!Kirishima x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, mutual masturbation, minor temperature play, minor angst!

Summary: Todoroki already broke your heart when he said he was leaving for 6 months, but Kirishima can glue your broken heart back together before he returns...right?

Word Count: 5.2k

masterlist

“6 months.”

The words stung more than they should’ve. Half a year of not being able to see his face, hold his hand, sleep together in the same bed.

“Does it have to be so long? Do you really have to go?”

God your mind ran at a hundred miles a minute. Searching his face for any semblance of wanting to rethink the offer about heroing in America. But the sympathetic glance in his eyes was enough to tell you what his words could not.

Of course you were proud of him, of course you were. It wasn’t a minor thing in his career and not many heroes would be selected for such an astounding opportunity. Top heroes in Japan touring around America to show their quirks and how different cultures portrayed their heroes. A bit flamboyant for Todoroki but you presumed he was only following as Deku and Ground Zero were also picked for the once-in-a-lifetime gig.

“I’ll be back before you know it baby, I promise.”

So you took that promise to heart.

-

In the following months leading to his departure, there was a heavy air between the two of you that wouldn’t be mentioned. As if you both knew the inevitable was coming. How would you two manage a relationship from thousands of miles away? You had read every article on the internet, even bought books and followed tags that allowed you to know how to keep the fire burning between the two of you.

Shoto was typically quiet, he always was. But as he began packing his bags for the long tour, he was deathly silent. The guilt of leaving you by yourself in your shared home burning him up inside. He knew he had to say something to you about this whole ordeal, but how could he? He was taking this life changing decision and ruining what you two had perfectly here. But you two could survive right? Or was that the right decision overall? Was prolonging you two the right decision?

It all came down to the day he had to leave. Helping him pack the last of his necessities into his very packed suitcases which had been neatly placed upon your shared bed.

“I completely forgot to ask, how’re you getting to the airport?”

“Bakugou and Midoriya are dropping me off.”

Oh. You had hoped you could get those final moments of couples bliss before he left, but you couldn’t not indulge in having the two young heroes watch in jealousy of you and your boyfriend.

“Can I come? See you off before you leave?”

Your tone was so bittersweet. Not really wanting to see him leave into the airport gates.

“Of course you can.” Todoroki zipped up his final case before pressing a chaste kiss upon your forehead, lingering for a moment to then head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for you both.

The familiar ring of Todoroki’s phone signified that Bakugou and Midoriya were outside. Bakugou had convinced Kirishima to drive them to the airport (which he did not appreciate as it was far too early for him) and he was the one to head up to help Todoroki with his cases.

“I’ll get that for you Y/N, no worries.” His toothy grin glimmered to you as he picked up the heavy case with ease. It must be fun being a pro-hero.

The ride to the airport was sweet, despite being squashed in the back with Bakugou and Todoroki. It was mostly filled with inside jokes between the four boys and Bakugou screaming for the aux cord because ‘Shitty hair’s music is shitty’. You’d miss the small moments like these.

After checking the three men and their bags to the plane, Todoroki and you parted from the group to have a few last moments together before it would only be facetimes and snapchat stories in seeing each other’s lives.

“Y/N you know this will be difficult right?”

“I know, but I’ve planned everything out! We’re gonna be fine.”

“I’m going to be so busy though, I’ll barely have time for calls and I’ll be so tired at the end of my day and-“

“That’s why when we do call, it’ll be so much more special! We have date nights planned and-“

“Y/N, look I just don’t think I want to push this.”

You could have almost spat your coffee out at his interruption. He wasn’t even looking at you, springing this up on you in your last moments before not seeing him for 6 whole months.

“Wh-what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that… I don’t know, maybe you should see other people. I just don’t think- with how busy I am-it willon’t work.”

You hadn’t even realised you were crying. Your glare towards him basically begging for him to look you in the eyes. Coward.

“So you won’t even try?”

“I just don’t see the point-“

���The point in us?” The daggers in your voice finally made him look up at you, the snivelling mess he had made you into. He had gotten your hopes up that it would work, that you’d still be there for him and support him. “Have fun on your tour Todoroki.”

You left your coffee half drunk, not even wanting the takeaway cup with his name on it. It wasn’t worth your time.

“Hey Kirishima could I have the keys to your car? I just wanna sit down for a bit.” Your eyes were practically glued to the floor, as a means to not show him that you were seconds from fully breaking down.

“Sure, but, aren’t you gonna say goodbye to Sho?” He reluctantly pulled his keys out from his sweatpants pocket, dangling them in front of you in hopes that he could see your expression.

“He just did.” You try your best not to snatch them from him but your attempt fails. You just wanted to be out of there. Even pushing past Bakugou and Midoriya to exit the building and sit alone with your thoughts.

Selfish bastard. If he’d been thinking about this for so long why not just break up with you when he first told you? Why wait so fucking long for him to just break your heart when you did so much to salvage anything if things got bad? You hit your hand on the steering wheel so hard that the horn beeps and you sob more from the fright. You must’ve looked insane.

Kirishima arrived back at his car about 10 minutes later. Sliding out from the driver’s position to the passenger seat silently, you had at least cleaned yourself up a bit in the thought of knowing that he would soon be back.

“So, he told me.” Kirishima breaks the silence. Hands gripping the wheel with a nervous intent. Knowing it’s a very touchy subject.

“Yeah?”

“It’s gonna be fine y’know? At least he’s not like in your face or anything or you can’t awkwardly bump into him in the street.” His attempts to pick up the mood fall on deaf ears.

“He didn’t have to drag me along for the ride though.” Your tears slide down your face and pool on your neck, not even having the strength within you to wipe them away.

“Well we’re all here for you no matter what Y/N-“

“Can I go to yours for a bit? I know it’s early I just… don’t want to go back to the flat just yet.”

“Course you can.”

-

Staying at Kirishima’s became a regular thing. Not really being able to confine yourself to the four walls of the apartment you used to share with Shoto.

He’d let you sleep in his spare room, his gym equipment keeping you company in the night. It was a fine arrangement. Kirishima was always so nice to you when you were with Todoroki, and since your abrupt breakup; you had an inkling that Kirishima wasn’t on the best of terms with him anymore.

The barren walls and blankets kept you safe from old memories, but your mind followed through with the nightmares.

Your body shook from the antagonising scowl upon Todoroki’s face, it was terrifying but mostly upsetting. You couldn’t help but sob yourself awake. Your pillow a wet mess and your throat dry from screaming.

“Y/N?”

Kirishima stood in your doorway, the light from the hallway pooling around him and the sympathetic gaze in his tired eyes.

“Nightmares?”

You nodded, sitting yourself up in bed and wiping the wet from your cheeks. Kirishima sat on the edge of your bed, rubbing your leg comfortingly over the duvet.

“Do you need anything?” The tired croak in his voice broke your heart further. You felt like such a burden.

“No I’m okay; thank you.” With a small smile, Kirishima got up to go back to bed before you intervened. “Wait- will you stay with me?”

There’s a small glimmer of confusion that passes over Kirishima’s face, but in the end he accepts. You’d known each other for many years and had many sleepovers in each other's dorms that this was nothing new.

Taking off his dressing gown, Kirishima was dressed in a slightly ripped top of his own ‘Red Riot’ merch and loose-fitting boxers. It took you a few moments to drink him in, this really was the most intimate you’d ever seen him.

And that’s how it went for 5 months, just you and Kirishima periodically sleeping in each other's beds to just be with each other. Nothing explicit or sexual, just sometimes touching feet or waking up near enough in each other’s arms.

Until 2 weeks before Deku, Bakugou and Todoroki were meant to come home.

Whether it was the heat of the night or just an off day from not having been intimate for so long you couldn’t help but just need someone to touch you so badly. Thankfully Kirishima was in his room so you at least had some alone time to run your fingers against your slick folds, fingers sopping wet from just how aroused you actually were.

It was infuriating about how you could barely get yourself off, and stifling your moans with a weak lip bite was getting you absolutely nowhere. You knew how thin Kirishima’s walls could be from that night he brought a girl home once. You barely got a lick of sleep just from the noise… or from the slight twinge of jealousy.

Because it had become such a norm to you both, you hadn’t even noticed Kirishima enter your room with your eyelids pressed shut trying to picture any sort of scenario to get the edge off. So when you felt him tugging at your covers; your whole body turned to ice.

“Kiri wait-“

But it was far too late. He had no choice but to see the bottom half of you completely naked and drenched in your own slick.

“Oh fuck Y/N- I-I’m so sorry look I’ll go I should’ve knocked- fuck I’m sorry.” Even in the darkness of your room you could clearly see the blush on his face as if it was illuminative. You also couldn’t peel your eyes away from the rising tent in his sweatpants. You could’ve licked your lips at the sight.

“It’s alright- I’m sorry I didn’t notice you sooner.” You tried your best to catch your breath, with no real success as your tone was so ragged. You covered yourself up and place your hands on top of your covers; allowing for some form of minor stimulation to yourself without Kirishima noticing.

“D-Do you want me to help?” He sounded so innocent but the way he licked his lips sent chills to your spine. Could you really sleep with your best friend?

“I-I don’t know, but- you obviously need some help yourself.” You do your best to joke about the awkward situation, something that was rather natural for your friendship. Kirishima couldn’t help but slyly place his hands over his crotch despite you already noticing the dark grey patch of pre-cum staining the fabric.

“Well… we could just… masturbate together?” The thought hung in the air for a brief moment as it washed over the both of you, Kirishima gulping as the silence lasted longer than expected.

“Okay…” Your tone was hesitant but he could tell by how dilated your pupils were that this would probably be something neither of the two of you would mention in the morning. He’d be okay with that… maybe. Maybe not.

Sliding to his usual side of the bed, he leaned against the headboard and you sat yourself up a bit further. Pulling the covers to the side so everything was fully out in the open again. You could hear Kirishima hiss between his teeth at the sight of you even more drenched at the thought of you two doing this together. You watched with the same anticipation as him as he pulled his sweatpants down to let his cock spring free. The sight of it so red and flush couldn’t stop your hand from sliding back down to your heat.

Seeing the two of you like this was enough to get you both off, the room was filled with an air of silence but it wasn’t heavy. No, it was littered with the soft moans of you and your best friend.

Your eyes traced each other’s bodies as if you needed to discover every inch of each other with just your eyes. You’d seen Kirishima without his shirt many timesa time but you could practically beg for it just to see the way his muscles move as he pumped his cock. Kirishima gave you the same attentive look as he studied the way your fingers slid in and out of yourself.

After a few minutes of pleasure filled and moan ridden ecstasy; your hand began to cramp and the frustration of still not being able to get yourself off had tears streaming down your face.

“Fuck Kiri-“ You whined, hearing his name come out of your mouth was a sinful kiss to his ears. He wanted to hear it all the time.

“Yeah, me too princess.” He sounded so low it was basically a grunt of a sentence. “Do you want me to-?”

“Please.” He didn’t have to wait, you lifted away your tired hand from yourself and he slid along the bed to run his fingers up your slit. Just the feeling of another person touching you so intimately was enough to release the tension from your sore head, the scream released from your throat could’ve made him come undone right then and there.

“Just like that baby?” Kirishima’s calloused fingers danced delicately along your folds, squeezing ever so gently at your clit making your back arch. Your hand drifted along his midriff until it found the way to the bottom of his cock. He hissed at the feeling of your hand around him and his fingers stuttered against your core.

“Please, mmmf… need you in me.” You managed to choke out. Kirishima didn’t need another sign as he plunged two fingers into your wet self. He set his hand just above your head, leaning down on you as you fisted his member at the same rate he thrusted his fingers in and out of you.

You both silently knew that it’d be too weird if you two actually had sex. You were just helping each other in a time of need.

Kirishima pressed his knuckles down on the spongy part of your insides, making your hand falter aagainst him before finding your way to pick up your pace again.

“Fuck fuck, Y/N- I’m so fucking close.” Kirishima forced the words out of his mouth as he watched you writhe in pleasure underneath him.

“Me too Kiri oh fuck-“ You could feel the coil tightening within you ready to burst and you felt him twitch beneath your hand.

“Fucking hell fuck Y/N I lo-.” The sound of him moaning as he came into your hand and parts of your stomach drowned out his sentence and the way he curled his fingers while inside of you was enough to also tip you over the edge, grabbing his shoulder with your free hand for a reason to ground you to reality.

Catching your breath, Kirishima slid away from above you. The reality of the situation almost settling in for the two of you. He lifted the waistband of his sweatpants up before pressing a chaste kiss on your head. He wished he would have lingered longer.

“I’ll get something to help you clean up.” He returned with two hot flannels, rubbing wherever his come had landed on you and using the other to wipe any sweat or where your slick had coated your thighs.

“Thank you Kirishima.” Your throat croaked from the pleasure of it all, Kirishima couldn’t help but give a short chuckle as he crawled into bed with you after throwing the flannels in the washing machine.

“I should be thanking you too.”

With that you both fell asleep, a little closer to each other than usual. But, what was he going to say before he got interrupted? You didn’t have time to think of that now.

-

Within two weeks, you and Kirishima had become a lot closer after your little ‘sexual altercation’. Your social media was flooded with photos of you and him going out to eat and going to the movies together and just dumb stuff you’d do at his apartment. So after 6 months of living on and off together; you two decided that you’d officially become roommates. Not a couple just… roommates.

“You gonna need any help or anything?” Kirishima smiled as you opened the door to your old apartment you used to share with Todoroki. Thankfully for the last time.

“Just go to work silly. I'm just grabbing the last of my stuff. It's nothing big, just clothes and ornaments.” You waver him off with a shake of your hand. “You gotta head to work and finish that paperwork.”

That earned a groan from him.

“I’d rather be manly and helpful to you.” He leaned his arm against the doorframe as you unlocked the door.

“Yeah? Well you can go and be manly and helpful to the public, I’ll see you later Kiri.” You smirk, he rolls his eyes. You parted with a small hug and you began to get started to clean up the final things in your old apartment with Todoroki.

It looked almost barren now, you didn’t realise how much of you was in this house and not him. He was always reserved, unlike Kirishima. Even though it was never a fully agreed upon thing that you were living with Kiri as you’d come back to this old house for most of the week- it didn’t feel like home. But it did with Kirishima.

You placed old bedcovers and old clothes into a cardboard box, humming to yourself at the glee of not being alone in the birdcage of your ex. You didn’t even hear the keys go in the door. It wasn’t until you were exiting your old shared bedroom with the box in hand did you notice him. You couldn’t help but drop the box as there was Todoroki, unchanged from the day he left you at that airport cafe.

“Y/N?”

“I was just leaving.”

“Leaving where? Where’ve all your things gone?” He couldn’t not help but notice your decorum missing, it brought life into the modern studio apartment.

“I don’t live here anymore Todoroki. I’m just getting my things and going home.” You attempt to save yourself the embarrassment of already dropping the box by spitting back with venom.

The look of confusion on the bicoloured man’s face was evident. You had no time to play his games.

“I live with Kirishima, I’m getting the last of my things. I didn’t even realise you’d be home today.” You sigh. Though, maybe you subconsciously did. Maybe you knew that he’d be home today and that’s why you decided today was the day you’d get the rest of your things.

“I thought you were getting a bit close.” Todoroki grumbled under his breath, but he knew you heard him. “Always on dates together, always at his house.”

The loud ‘hah’ you let out of your mouth was a jutter in the conversation, Todoroki was obviously taken aback.

“What’s it even to you? Why should you give a shit about my life when you just up and disappeared for 6 months on your own volition huh?” You spat despite your whole body shaking, you couldn’t have missed him right? “You left me alone even when I supported you, did all that shit to make sure we’d stay in contact and now you have the nerve to be jealous?”

His eyes scanned your face before watching you intently, crossing the space between you to finally stand in front of you. You could smell his cologne, citrus and sharp. You’d forgotten how much you missed that smell.

“I didn’t know how much I’d missed you Y/N.” You could feel his breath fan your face catching your own ever so slightly. “I missed you so fucking much baby.”

“Todoroki-“

“Come on baby tell me you didn’t miss me too.” His voice was so soft and sweet to your ears, you couldn’t even stop him from leaning in so close to your face.

“I-“ But before you could speak his lips had encapsulated yours, the box in your hands losing grip.

God had you missed his lips upon yours, you sunk into the kiss as if you had never slept and he was the comfiest bed on earth. He pushed the box from your hands and it landed to the floor with a large thud, taking you by surprise. Yet despite you breaking the kiss from the surprise he swooped you back to having his lips against yours once again.

Kicking the cardboard from the separation of the two of you, Todoroki pulled you close. Taking you in his arms and furthering the kiss. He’d gotten more toned in the months that he’d been gone, your hands dancing over his muscles which were taught against his jumper.

“I should’ve never fucking left you baby girl.” He moaned against your lips, hand to the back of your neck as he drank you in. “Never. I missed you so fucking much.”

Sliding his hands from your neck to your lower back until he reached your thighs, Todoroki pulled you up and you gripped onto his waist as if it was clockwork. How could you have ever thought about anyone else but him? Todoroki walked with ease with you around him to your old bedroom, and when he lay you on your bed it didn’t feel so small anymore.

Buzz Buzz

“Fuck- Shoto my phone,” You whined as Todoroki left nipping kisses down your neck, you shifted beneath him to grab your phone from your back pocket to only see Kirishima’s name flash before you. You could feel Shoto’s heterochromic gaze as the photo of you and Kirishima lit up the screen.

“Answer it-“ Todoroki’s voice was a commanding growl and by the way he squeezed your breasts roughly you couldn’t help but coincide. “Answer it, but be quiet.”

With a gulp you shakily clicked to answer the call and put it on speaker as Todoroki began to slide down your jeans.

“Hey Y/N! Look I know this is out of the blue and I’m at work but- I can’t just stop thinking about us and you know… what we did.” Kirishima’s voice rang through the phone and you feel that Todoroki’s eyes could have pierced through you right then and there.

“But I just think you know with everything we’ve been through together- god this is so not manly asking over the phone but… do you wanna go on a date sometime? I’ll take you out somewhere nice and proper.”

Todoroki rolled his hips into your clothed core after taking off your jeans and a moan threatened to erupt from your throat. Sliding your underwear down his fingers pressed against your wetness and slid down before he bent his head down licking a strip against your sensitive clit. He knew your body like the back of his hand- you missed his gentle touch.

“And I know it might be weird because of Todoroki but he broke up with you so it’s understandable right?” Todoroki’s grip on your thigh became tighter as he lapped your pussy you thought that if you bit your lip any harder it would surely bleed. “I talked with Bakugou about it and he didn’t exactly give the best advice but… I like you… a lot Y/N.”

You couldn’t help but let out a whimpering moan as Todoroki slipped his tongue inside of you and moved in and out of you slowly, relishing the small moans you made.

“Y/N? Are you there? You okay?”

Todoroki’s hand left your thigh and he sat up, allowing for his bulge to once again grind against your core. You gasp at the friction of his jeans against your sensitive clit.

“Y/N? Hello? Please tell me you’re alright?”

With a swift grab of your phone and a hand pressed to your lips; Todoroki began to basically growl back at Kirishima.

“She’s busy.”

Making a scene of pressing the end call button, Todoroki through your phone to the carpeted floor where it thankfully didn’t smash.

“Shoto!”

“So you’ve been messing about with Kirishima, baby?” You whimper at his words as he harshly presses his bulge against you. “Also, didn’t I tell you to be quiet?”

He grasps your chin with his forefinger and his thumb, placing a gentle kiss against your lips before bringing his other hand and slapping your ass hard. You wail at the contact which only gives Todoroki a glimmer of excitement in his eyes.

“It was only once Shoto I promise-“

“Shh shh shh, your filthy mouth needs to be quiet baby girl.” Todoroki leans up from you and begins to unbuckle his belt painfully slowly. His hand gestures afterwards as if telling you to finish disrobing yourself by yourself. “I should’ve never left you, no one else gets to know that this pretty little pussy is mine and mine alone. Got that princess?”

He brings his belt to slap against your thigh when you don’t give him a reply immediately, to which you soon nod your head.

“Let me hear your words baby girl.” His hands slide down to his boxers, jerking himself off as if to tease you as you couldn’t fully picture how he was fisting his cock right now.

“I’m yours Shoto, nobody else’s. Only ever yours.” You’re a whimpering mess and you try to cling to him desperately. He lets out a low chuckle before pulling his boxers fully down and letting his cock spring free.

Todoroki settles himself in between your legs, savouring a taste of your slick before angling his body back up so you were face to face, leaving wet kisses down your neck but biting at all the sweet spots he knew too well.

“Gonna mark you so that everybody knows that you belong to me.” His voice whispered against your skin, the tip of his member prodding against your folds; sliding up and down against you for some friction.

Shoto made his way back up from your nipples to your mouth before pressing his lips against you hungrily. He settled his hips neatly against yours and you instinctively wrapped your thighs around him as he pushed inside of you. Moaning into the kiss with each thrust until he completely bottomed out inside of you. You felt so full and right, you were Todoroki’s.

“God princess I forgot how much you felt like you were made for me.” Todoroki grunts as he begins to set a pace for himself, entangling his hands in your hair and tugging slightly so he has free reign over your neck for every bite and mark he saw fit. “Isn’t that right baby?”

“Yes- fuck me Shoto I’m all yours.” You dig your nails into his back, hard enough to leave marks tomorrow. Shoto starts pistoning his hips into you and you both can’t help but groan at the friction of your two bodies melding together.

Shoto slides his hand up your body until he reached the small of your back, arching you at a deeper angle into him as he fucked you directly into the bed. The sound it made only added to the erotic symphony of your bedroom combined with your moans and the wet skin slapping together. You fist your hands into the sheets in fear of clawing Todoroki’s back any more and you swore you could’ve torn the covers.

“Does that feel good princess? Am I the only one who knows how to make you feel as good as this?” Todoroki’s laugh is almost sinister as he brings his right hand to your clit, making it drop in temperature just to see you squirm.

“You make me feel so fucking good Shoto- so full I only want you- I only need you. Fuck I’m gonna-“

“You gonna come for me princess? Gonna come all around my cock? Good girl, come on come for me.” He whispered into your neck, feeling you tighten around him. Your back arched even further as you came undone around him, pushing himself even further into you to feel you convulse against his cock.

“Shit Y/N!” He groans, absolutely exasperated as he comes inside of you. Letting hot spurts of come dribble out from your pussy. His hands slide from your sides and into your hands as intertwines your fingers together. Shoto catches his breath, his bicoloured hair stuck to his forehead with sweat as he leans into your chest- the two of your synchronising your breathing together.

“Did you miss that my baby? Miss me taking care of you like that?” Todoroki showers your fluttering body with kisses as he pulls himself out of you. Your heart raced but also the pang of guilt was there from the phone call from Kirishima.

“I missed you Sho.”

Todoroki took care of your heavily bruised body, apologising for the bruises upon your waist where he gripped you too tightly and covering you up tightly into your old bedsheets to lay together just like the old days.

However Kirishima was just glad he had a lock on his office door. He gripped his phone tightly in his hands after hearing your orgasm brought him to his own. The pretty profanities that fell out your mouth drove him insane. He’d have to seriously clean himself up after jacking off to your explicit moans from over the phone. Did Todoroki mean to hang up? He didn’t care right now, he just cared about good he could still make you feel.

He was going to make you his. Todoroki or not.

[viastro]

bookworm | jeon wonwoo

ミ★ synopsis: who knew that the cute guy you met at the library is one of the best players on the football team? literally everyone but you.

ミ★ genre: high school!au, jock!au, humor, fluff

ミ★ warnings: none !

ミ★ word count: 3,171

ミ★ pairings: wonwoo x female reader

ミ★ notes: i will be tagging @babiesanshine​ because she told me i have to tag her in anything i write that involves wonwoo. here’s a cute little oneshot i wrote, i hope you guys enjoy it <3

The weather isn’t too cold. It’s at the temperature you like, where it’s not too hot, not too cold, but a good medium. However, it’s a sign that summer is truly ending, and you’re somehow going to miss it. Even if you did spend a majority of it staying in your room, either playing video games or sleeping. What can you say? Summer is truly the time to unwind. 

But today your mom had other ideas, having woken you up at ten in the morning. She told you to do something ‘productive’ with your last week of summer, aka, go the fuck outside. It’s now one pm in the afternoon, and you’re driving to the library because why the hell not? You’ve never been to the library before, and it’s your senior year of high school. Might as well see what books they have in case you’ll need to do a quick run to the library because of your classes. 

You stick your hand out the window, doing small wave motions while the air hits it. While you spent most of summer inside, you love the vibe it brings. It’s just the idea of being able to be free for three months, without the stress of deadlines, group projects, or finals. Smiling at the feeling of being free, you turn into the parking lot, parking your car under the tree. Turning off the engine, you step out of the car, letting out a small sigh as you stare at the old library. You straighten out your skirt, before walking towards the entrance, phone and wallet in your bag. 

You step into the library, giving the librarian a small smile in greeting. She gives you a happy wave, before going back to her work. You glance at your surroundings, taking in the ambiance of the building. It’s a bit brighter than other libraries you’ve seen, the wooden shelves being painted white, and the walls having a floral detail to them. It has a more happy theme I guess you could say. You let out a breath, somehow feeling like you’re going to come here more often at the cozy feeling it gives you. 

“Nice.” You whisper, before walking further inside. Your hand reaches out towards the shelves, letting it drag softly across the numerous books lined up. You perk up at a sudden thought and you head towards the kids section, wondering if they have your favorite children's books. You’re so caught up in thinking about the frog and toad series that you quite literally slam into someone and fall backwards.

You let out a squeak, closing your eyes as your hands prepare to soften the impact, only for you to realize that you’re no longer falling. You register the arms wrapped around your waist, and you’re 100% convinced that you’re being abducted by aliens. You slowly open your eyes, and they immediately widen once they land on the person who caught you.

His black hair is fluffy and falls over his forehead. He’s wearing specs, slightly covering his strong nose. You take notice of his eyes, a pretty shape that would make him seem more intimidating if he wasn’t wearing his round glasses. His lips are really pink, and he’s absolutely the most handsome guy you’ve ever laid eyes on in your seventeen years of living. He gives you a smile, and you feel as if you’re going to faint because, 

what the fuck !!! he’s so pretty !!!! this is fucking illegal !!!!

“Are you okay?”

oh my god !?!?! his voice is so deep too !!!!! i’m literally going to go into cardiac arrest-

“Um, hello?” He releases an arm from your waist, waving his hand in front of your face to see if you’ve passed out with your eyes open, and you almost fall into an internal monologue again because holy shit he’s only holding me with one arm, but then your eyes widen. You immediately fix your stance, his other arm falling from your waist as you are now standing on your own. 

“I… am so sorry.” You mutter, and he chuckles at your wide eyes. You open your mouth to apologize again and he shakes his head, smiling softly at you. “It’s alright, it’s partially my fault too. I’m just glad I caught you before you fell.” 

i quite literally fell in another way i won’t lie to you luv x

“Thank you for doing that. Saved my ass from some bruising.” You joke, only to shut your eyes at how suggestive that sounds. He gives you an amused look, finding you more endearing the more you speak. You don’t dare look at him, deciding that staring into the darkness of your eyelids is much more preferable at this moment as you would very much rather choke. He lets out a laugh, “It’s okay, you can open your eyes. Sometimes things sound a lot more suggestive than they should. It is what it is.”

You slowly peek at him, and see that he’s smiling at you. You stand up straight, letting out a small cough into your elbow, before grinning back at him. He extends his hand towards you, “Hi, I’m Jeon Wonwoo, 17 years old.” 

You stare at his hand for a second, somehow surprised that his hands are also really pretty. You reach out and softly grasp his hand, “Hi, I’m yln yn, 17 as well.” 

The two of you stay like that for a moment, him wondering how your hand fits his so well, and you thinking of how you’d really like to continue holding his hand. You regretfully let go first, giving him a smile. 

“So, what brings you to the library on the last week of summer break?” Wonwoo grins, giving you a shrug.

“I had a mission to read every book in this library, and I think I’m almost done.” You tilt your head at him, leaning back on the shelves and sizing him up. You purse your lips, and he crosses his arms in an attempt to make himself look more serious.

“Oh really?” 

“No, the mission was just for this science-fiction section actually.” He answers, dropping his tough facade and  motioning towards the aisle the two of you are in. You giggle at his antics, and Wonwoo feels his heart warm at the sound, proud that he was able to be the cause of it. “Why’d you exaggerate it then?” 

He turns his head towards you, giving you a big smile. “Wanted to impress you.” 

You look away when you feel your face turn warm at his honesty, reaching up and rubbing the back of your neck. You smile, turning back towards him once an idea comes to your mind.

“Wanna read children's books with me instead?” He purses his lips, before grinning at you.

“Only if we start off with frog and toad books.” 

“What kind of person would I be if we didn’t start off with frog and toad, Wonwoo?”

“I like you already.”

“It’s been a month since I last saw you, and you wanna meet up at the big football game?” You ask into the phone, an amused smile on your face. You hear Wonwoo chuckle on the other end, “It’ll be fun. I can introduce you to some of my friends.” 

You raise an eyebrow, rolling over on your bed so that you’re now staring at your ceiling. You purse your lips, realizing that you can also introduce your best friend to Wonwoo, considering that she’s been incredibly curious of the guy at the library. Otherwise known as, 

your summer fling that isn’t really a summer fling because you guys haven’t done anything romantic other than smile at each other. 

Since school started, you and Wonwoo have been too busy to hangout. You thought he was a new student at your school since you surely would’ve remembered someone as handsome as him, but to your surprise, he wasn’t. Once you got home from your first day of school, you immediately called Wonwoo and asked what school he goes to. Turns out he goes to the high school on the other side of town, your school’s biggest rival when it comes to football. 

never expected him to be interested in football, let alone the biggest game of the year since our schools are competing against each other, but i miss wonwoo a lot.

“I’m intrigued.” 

“Is that a yes?” Wonwoo asks, a big smile on his face as he waits for your answer. He hears Seungcheol and Jeonghan make kissy noises from behind him, and he rolls his eyes. You grin, letting out a sigh to make it sound like you’re not as excited as you actually are. 

“I suppose it is. I’ll see you on Friday then bookworm?” You tease, and you hear him let out a chuckle, causing you to giggle yourself. 

“Yes you will gamer. I’ll text you later, my friends are being annoying.” Wonwoo tells you, laughing at the sound of Seungcheol and Jeonghan now whining at the fact that he insulted them. You smile, opening your mouth to say bye when Wonwoo adds, “I miss you. I’ll see you on Friday.”

Your cheeks heat up, and you hear Wonwoo’s friends in the background teasing him once again. Running a hand through your hair you mutter, “I miss you too. See you soon, Wonwoo.”

You end the call, placing your phone beside you. You bite your lip, big smile on your face, before grabbing your pillow and shoving it over your face. 

“aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

“Okay, where’s your boyfriend?” Jihyo asks once the two of you enter the venue, and you nudge her shoulder. “He’s not my boyfriend! Don’t call him that in front of him and his friends alright? I’ll literally eat your ass if you do that.” 

Jihyo winks at you, and you roll your eyes, causing her to throw her head back in laughter. She holds your arm, giving you a squeeze to show you she’s just teasing. You pull out your phone, curious as to which area Wonwoo and his friends are sitting, only to see his new text, 

wonoot: i’m running a bit late, just go and sit on the bleachers and i’ll find you later <3

You pout, “He’s running a bit late, but he told us that he’ll find us when he gets here.” 

“Okay, I think the game’s about to start so let’s go find a spot before everything gets taken!” Jihyo tells you with a smile, pulling you towards the stands. The two of you find a spot in the third row of the middle bleachers, giving you a solid view of the football field. You place your water bottle in the spot Wonwoo will sit, and you pull out your phone to tell him where you and Jihyo are sitting.

you: we’re in the third row, middle bleachers !!

“Those football uniforms really highlight their asses. Even if they don’t really have one, in those uniforms they do.” Jihyo says, and you snort at how true her statement is. You look up, seeing the football players running onto the field. You’re about to open your mouth to respond, when you catch sight of one of the players from the opposing team taking off his helmet. “Oh? That looks a lot like Wonwoo’s friend, Jeonghan. I didn’t know he played.” 

“He’s cute.” Jihyo mutters appreciatively beside you, and you nod your head. Wonwoo has a lot of pictures of his friend group on Instagram, and it shocked you to see that all of them are handsome. 

how you wished the guys at your school looked like this.

You watch as they all go to stand on the line, getting their names called over the loudspeakers. You tilt your head to the side when almost half of the opposing football team is filled with Wonwoo’s friends. “That’s so weird, almost all of Wonwoo’s friends are on their school’s football team.” 

“And Wonwoo isn’t?” Jihyo asks, turning to glance at you as she prepares to take a sip of water. You shake your head, before letting out a small giggle, “Probably because he’s a bookworm-”

“Now we have #96, wide receiver Jeon Wonwoo.” Your mouth drops open, and Jihyo spits out her water back into the bottle. You stare with wide eyes as #96 takes off his helmet, revealing Wonwoo who’s sporting a big smile on his face. He runs a hand through his hair, revealing his forehead and strong eyebrows. 

“Y-your summer fling...”

“He’s a jock?!” 

Wonwoo squints at the middle bleachers, trying to find you from across the field. Jun turns his head to glance at his friend, letting out a chuckle when he sees the expression on his face. He nudges his shoulder, “Your face looks stupid.” 

Wonwoo laughs, hitting Jun’s arm. “I’m trying to find yn, but she’s too far to see from here.” 

“Bet you gave her the shock of her life.” Jeonghan jokes from beside him, and Wonwoo smiles. 

“That was the goal.”

“Let’s go Wonwoo!!” You scream, not even caring that some of your classmates are glaring at you for cheering on the opposing team. Jihyo cheers alongside you, doing a victory dance whenever Wonwoo’s team scores. 

It’s the fourth quarter, and Wonwoo’s team has the ball for the final seconds of the game. They need three more points to win, and there’s only thirty seconds left on the clock. In all honesty, they need a miracle to win this game. 

To say you were shocked when you found out Wonwoo was on the football team was partially an understatement. However, finding out that he’s really fucking good at being a wide receiver almost made you pass out. Wonwoo, the guy who spent the whole summer trying to read all of the books in the science-fiction section at the local library, is among the fastest and best players on his team. 

plot twist indeed luv.

You grasp Jihyo’s hand once they get out of their team huddle, watching Wonwoo go to his position. You feel anxious, and way too invested in a high school football game. The ball gets thrown to Seungcheol, and your eyes follow Wonwoo as he runs all the way down the field. You’re frozen once the ball leaves Seungcheol’s hands, shooting across the field towards Wonwoo. 

It’s as if time slows down, and your heartbeat is loud against your ears as Wonwoo lifts his hands up. You squeeze Jihyo’s hand tightly, and your mouth drops open when Wonwoo fucking catches it. You and Jihyo scream when he sprints the last few feet towards the end zone. 

“GO WONWOO!!” You screech, and you lift your arms up in victory when he runs into the end zone right as the buzzer goes off. Your eyes go to the board, 43-49. You and Jihyo jump together happily as Wonwoo takes off his helmet, a giant smile on his face as his friends run directly into him in a huge group hug. 

“Guys let go of him! He’s been dying to go see his girl.” Jeonghan laughs, and heat rushes to Wonwoo’s face once the guys start cooing at him. He slaps Joshua’s arm once he starts up the kissy noises. “Shut up, she’s not my girl yet.”

“YET?!”

“I heard a yet fellas!” 

“I hate it here, I’m gonna go see yn now.” Wonwoo says with a big smile on his face, effectively breaking away from his group and running towards the bleachers. 

“I think he’s going to see you! GO DOWN!” Jihyo shouts once she sees Wonwoo running in your direction. She grabs the water bottles before taking your arm and pulling you out of the bleachers. The two of you sprint down the stairs while you whine,

“Jihyo stop dragging me!” 

To which your loving best friend responds, “No bitch!”

You both run towards the opening in the fence, now on the track field. Wonwoo catches sight of you, running a bit faster until he meets you halfway. You let out a big smile, breaking out of Jihyo’s grip and immediately wrapping your arms around Wonwoo, even if he is sweaty. He freezes, before hugging you back, one hand cradling your head. You pull away after a moment so that you can look into his eyes,  your guys’ arms still wrapped around each other.

“You should’ve told me you were on the team! I would’ve made you a poster!!” You scold, and Wonwoo lets out a laugh. 

“I just won the biggest game of the school year and you’re yelling at me for not telling you I was on the football team?” He jokes, and you stick your tongue out at him. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Makes me feel like a bad gir-friend. A bad friend.”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at your correction, and you look away as soon as you feel your cheeks turn warm at your mishap. Jihyo squeals quietly behind you two, taking as many pictures as she can. Wonwoo lifts his hand, resting it on your chin and making you turn your head so that you’re staring at him again. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” 

“I beg your pardon?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Wonwoo repeats, an amused smile forming on his face when you turn your head to see if he was asking someone else behind you. He squeezes your waist with his other hand, eliciting a squeal from you. “We’re literally hugging each other and you think I’m asking another girl to be my girlfriend?”

“I mean… maybe?” You respond, and Wonwoo chuckles, shaking his head at your silliness.

“But on a real note, will you be my girlfriend?” He asks more seriously, and you grin at him. 

“Of course Wonwoo, I’ll be your girlfriend.” 

“HELL YEAH!!!”

“LET’S GO BABY!!!” 

“MY SHIP HAS SAILED!!!!” You and Wonwoo turn your heads to see his friends and Jihyo jumping up and down happily at the two of you becoming official. You raise a hand up to your mouth as you laugh at their antics, and Wonwoo rolls his eyes. 

“I’m sorry about them.” He whispers to you, specifically eyeing Soonyoung and Seokmin making kissy faces towards you and Wonwoo. You turn your head towards your boyfriend, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, causing the guys and Jihyo to screech even louder. Wonwoo lifts a hand to the area, smile forming on his face as he turns to you. 

“Consider it a winner’s kiss.” You tell him shyly, giving him finger guns. Wonwoo laughs at your cuteness, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes widen, and out of the corner of your eye you see Seungkwan and Chan fall to the track, unable to express how cute they find you two in words and screeches. 

“Consider it a winner’s kiss as well, for getting me as your boyfriend.” Wonwoo jokes, and you roll your eyes. 

“So cocky.” 

“You love it though.” 

“Just a smidge, bookworm.”

[arhvste]

MIYA ATSUMU - LITTLE MIYA

- summary - atsumu has to make sure that he’s the favourite parent to your unborn child and takes every chance he can get to convince them to pick him - fluff - x f reader

- an - this was for tsumu’s birthday but i was a little late posting due to unforeseen circumstances, but i’m glad i finally got it up, happy birthday tsum tsum i love u lots and thank u for being a character that i not only kin but have easily fallen in love with in a way too

-

Sighing, Atsumu dropped his bag down and quietly took his shoes off and left them neatly by the door. The quiet hums of cars passing by outside your house reached the setters ears as he peered down the hall and noticed your bedroom light was still on.

The light was dim but he knew you’d likely have been reading or busying yourself some other way and you’d probably drifted off into a light sleep by now.

He shook his head and smiled thinking about how you’d always try and stay up for when he’d come home but you’d almost always end up falling back asleep.

Creaking the door open wider from where you’d left it slightly ajar where the dim light had been teasing the darkness of the halls of your home, Atsumu quietly stepped into the bedroom and began to shed the clothes he’d worn after taking a shower at the training grounds and into his boxers and white t-shirt. He would often take showers at the MSBY training grounds much to Sakusa’s delight as the latter would insist Atsumu’s stench was “unbearable” after training sessions (Atsumu was adamant that Sakusa only said this to wind him up but showered anyway), he also didn’t want to wake you up with the noise of water hitting the hard marble flooring in the bathroom and the sounds of the shower rinsing him.

Some may consider Atsumu a selfish man but it was small things like this that proved that hypothesis wrong. It was the little things Atsumu did out of habit that made him lean more towards the selfless side rather than selfish but it wasn’t like the two of you particularly cared about others perceptions of himself and your relationship. You knew Atsumu and you loved him the way he was regardless of what anyone else had to say about him.

He pulled the soft white sheets back and the mattress dipped as his weight rested down as he turned on his side to face you.

‘An angel’ he thought to himself as he brushed a few stray hairs out of your relaxed face before he managed to tear his eyes away and look down towards your stomach.

A smile crept up on his face as he crawled further down the bed until he was face level with the centre of your stomach.

“Hey little man, or girl.”

His soft whispers grew excited as he began to chatter to your stomach.

“Ya must’ve worn ya mother out today, she’s completely knocked out ya gotta go a little easy on her sometimes.”

His hand now moved to the beginning of the curve where your stomach stretched out to form a bump where your child was currently conversing with their father.

“Anyways, since I know what trouble you were causing today let me tell ya what I did today- oh yeah sorry I forgot, don’t get too mad at me will ya?”

Atsumu quickly pressed a ‘hello’ kiss to your stomach. He would always kiss both you and your stomach hello whenever he was met with you again insisting that the child would feel neglected if he left them out.

“Omi was in a bad mood this morning but would ya believe he said I’m gonna be a great dad?! I’m pretty sure it was a backhanded compliment since he did say ‘You’ll be a great dad, your kid is gonna love having a stupid and childish father they can call a friend.’...Do ya think that was backhanded? I think it was but he still admitted I’ll be a great dad so I guess I’ll take it.”

Rubbing small circles on your stomach Atsumu’s eyes twinkled as he felt a small kick, the action ever so slightly hitting against the palm of his hand.

“I knew ya were gonna agree with me! It was totally backhanded! I guess that's Omi for ya! Speaking of, I think yer gonna like him. If ya gonna be anythin like me, you’ll enjoy annoying him so I think he’s hopeful that ya gonna turn out like yer mother if anything.”

He glanced up at your sleeping form and smiled warmly. The thought of having a small version of himself excited him, but he also liked the idea of having a small version of you. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle an overexcited and non-stop child if they were to take after himself. Besides, he loved everything about you and he was sure that raising a small version of you would be a dream.

“Ya know, I have a feelin ya gonna be more like yer mom. She’s great and I know yer gonna be too. Obviously yer gonna be talented I mean, I’m yer dad! Of course yer gonna inherit my good looks and athletic talent but if ya don’t wanna play sports that's okay too! I know yer gonna have the talent for it though so the choice is yours!”

Finding out that he was going to be a father was one of Atsumu’s greatest achievements he’d insist. It was always in his plan for the future to become a dad and he was over the moon when you’d revealed that his efforts hadn’t gone to waste and that later on in the year, he was going to have a little Miya to help raise. Of course he wanted his child to get into sports. He was introduced to the industry at a young age and it had bagged him a career he loved, friends and bonds for life and a generous salary. At first, he was sure that his child was going to play volleyball. How could they not? Their dad was the setter for V-league team MSBY and recently scouted for the Olympic team. He had his sights set on raising a future champion but then he thought back to his own brother.

Osamu had been successful athletically too but looking where that took him, Atsumu saw that even though his brother had the capability to go professional and maybe even play in the same teams as him, Osamu found passion elsewhere and these days he was the owner of an extremely successful company in the food industry.

They’d both started at the same point but ended in different places and that was okay. It was then Atsumu began to tone down the insistence that his child was going to be a pro player just like him and he was more focused on helping his child find something they loved whether that was sports or something else and help them grow and go further in doing something they loved just like he had done.

You were extremely proud of your husband when he told you about this. You knew he’d realise it eventually but you were surprised at just how quick he’d been able to rethink the future of his child and reflect on how he was going to raise and support his them. Atsumu knew he wanted his child to be successful somehow but he had finally come to realise that it didn’t have to be athletically but rather anything your child wanted to do. If they did end up taking an interest in sport, great, but neither you or Atsumu were going to push it onto them just because their father was a pro athlete.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll even end up like yer uncle Samu and take up cookin. I’m sure he ain’t gonna mind if we take ya to his restaurants or stores to teach ya a thing or two. Yer gonna be more like me than him though got it? I don’t need him teasin me sayin that yer more like him and that ya like him more than me yeah?”

Another soft kick met his warm palm and he let out a soft scoff and aimed a harmless glare at your unborn child.

“Oi! Uncalled for! I know I can be a little rude sometimes, but I ain’t gonna let yer end up like me in that sense! Yer mom would kill me if she found out that yer manners were like mine back when I was a kid. Ya better not be annoyin either. Nana Miya will probably tell ya a few stories about me and uncle Samu and how we used to get on her nerves with constant bickerin and fightin.”

A soft laugh drifted from him as yet another soft kick was sent Astumu’s way.

“Alright, alright I’ll stop layin inta ya, just promise me you’ll be good for yer mom while I’m training and stuff? She’s the best and yer gonna love her so much I promise. I hope yer gonna love me just as much too because not to cheat, but yer mother and I have a little bet over who the favourite parent is gonna be so I’m not saying ya have to pick me but I am tellin ya now that yer obviously gonna like me more cause I’m gonna be the best dad ever for ya.”

His warm, calloused hand rubbed over your stomach as he carried on chatting to your child as if this was casual conversation to him.

The warm temperature on your growing stomach caused your eyes to flutter open as you registered it was in fact your husband who was touching and talking to you while you were unconscious.

“Tsumu? What are you doing?” Your eyes and voice heavy with sleep as a lazy smile traced over your face.

Atsumu looked up and hummed before meeting your half lidded eyes as he gave you a toothy grin.

“Just tellin our kid how I’m gonna be the best dad.”

“You little shit! You’re cheating, you can’t tell the baby to pick you as their favourite while I’m asleep that’s not fair!”

“Yeah? Well I bet ya tell our kid to pick you as their favourite while I’m at training! Ya have all day to convince them! I gotta make up for my time lost.”

You fought the smile that was trying to break out onto your face as the petty argument with your husband continued with him sitting next to your stomach and you leaning facing him.

“That’s not true, I would never play dirty!”

“Baby, yer a Miya now, playin dirty comes with the name so I know yer lying!!

His hand still rested on your stomach as his eyes lit up as yours widened. Yet another small kick was felt as a smug smile wiped across your husband's face.

“Ha! Even little Miya admits yer a liar!”

You huffed and playfully gared at your own stomach and then your husband.

“Snitches get stitches.” You poked your stomach gently as if to retaliate to your growing baby.

“Hear that? Yer mom’s mean! That’s why I’m gonna be the favourite!” Atsumu declared with a triumphant smile as you laid back down to rest your head on the pillow.

“Yeah yeah we’ll see… I’m gonna go back to sleep. Tsumu, I love you.”

Atsumu crawled back over to you and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and whispered a ‘good night’ and ‘I love you’ before padding back over on all fours to your stomach before meeting it eye-level once more.

“So back to what we were talking about before we were interrupted…”

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[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  7.4

Author’s Note:  I believe I’ll be doing a LIVE pulling for Xiao tonight around 7:45 PST.  Join me if you want to see me cry from happiness or from not pulling him LOL.  The link is in one of my previous posts.  Before, during, or after this chapter, listen to this song to get a feel of what’s happening!  https://youtu.be/ifQ3JRS4gqc

.....................

The voices never truly left you alone after that.  You were practically becoming unhinged by the endless whispers that plagued your ears, and the quiet of night only seemed to egg them on further.  When you were blessed with their silence, you were plagued the physical pains of the karmic debt and your depression from joining the harbingers.  Childe was obviously growing more and more concerned with each passing day; you were beginning to freak him out.  The Tsaritsa and the other harbingers, however, found great amusement in your...condition.  It was a blessing in disguise; they were manipulating you much easier now that you were exhausted from the sleepless nights.

And it wasn't like you were constantly needing medical care, though you wished they would give you some heavy pain killers.  No; whatever damage your body was burdened with would be repaired by morning thanks to Xiao's blood.  The pain wasn't nearly as dramatic as the first wave, but it was a constant dull aching that ate away at your bones.  Slowly but surely, the pains grew over time.

Xiao made his presence known to you only twice more; he showed himself in the late evenings for brief periods of time to quell your aching heart and mind.  At least when he was able to be with you, the dreadful screams would disperse if only temporarily.  At least when he was with you, you were granted sleep.  Small waves of peace would reclaim you as Xiao watched over your sleeping figure.  

But once Liyue's festivities were underway, Xiao's visits became nonexistent and your mind was once again thrown into deeper chaos while he fought off more demons.  It was the busiest time of the year for both the inhabitants and the demonic presences of Liyue; it was Xiao's task to fend the latter off since the festivities attracted their attention and strengthened their presence.  He felt you slowly shattering, and it hurt him to know he couldn't be with you as often as he wanted to.

One day out of the blue, over a month after you joined the Fatui, Childe approached you with a grand smile across his face.  "Ojou-chan!  Why don't I show you around Snezhnaya?  It's much better than sitting in your room all day."

"...Aren't you always saying we could freeze to death?"  Your unamused expression failed to hinder Childe's enthusiasm.  "Why would I want to go outside?"  The bags under your eyes spoke volumes about your continuous sleepless nights.

"Come on, Mezzetin, it'll be good for you.  You could use the exercise."

"Are you implying something?" You're eyes narrowed dangerously, but Childe's grin only widened when your normal quips shone through your broken character.

"Well, if you ever feel the need to put me in my place, I'm more than willing to oblige to a fight," he watched your expression lighten for a moment before urging you.  "Come on, I'll show you around."

Sheer cold wasn't an issue for this winter wasteland like it was on Dragonspine, but it had to be at least five times colder here.  Childe made sure you were bundled up in a large furry coat before guiding you out of the castle and leading you to a town square that was surprisingly bustling with people despite the frigid temperatures.  Stalls lined the streets.  People gathered around to buy the freshest local food that included some incredibly large seafood varieties.  Others were in line to buy trinkets, house decor, and a variety of other items.

"...A farmer's market?"  Your cold breath of a remark caught Childe's attention, and he turned to you.

"Of course!  Go ahead and look around.  If there's anything you want, I'll buy it for you."

He's trying to cheer me up?  You examined Childe's earnest demeanor as he eyed the fish stall with stars in his eyes.  Can he just pick a side already?!  You rolled your eyes.  Still, might as well bankrupt him if he insists.  You broke away from him and continued down the rows of stalls for awhile, unaware that the harbinger had rejoined you.  

You were busy examining a few intriguing necklaces made of materials you haven't heard of when the whispers of the damned regained their voices.  You staggered a bit only to be steadied by Childe's hand on your shoulder.

Childe noted your glowing eyes.  "Happening again?"  His genuine concern made you relieved that he wasn't a complete monster like the other harbingers.  "If you need a break, there's a café over there that we can sit in."  Your strained nod prompted him to guide you with a hand at the back of your shoulders.

"Hm?"  A strange sound reached your ears, and this time it wasn't from inside your head.  Your feet came to a halt before the two of you reached the building, and you tilted your head towards the sound.  

It was a light and effortless tune that floated through the open air from yet another building.  The melody was slow to build, yet you hung onto its every note.  It took you a moment to realize that it calmed the demonic voices from screams to hushed murmurs.  You followed the path of the sounds until you found yourself in an extremely outdated music shop.

"Mezzetin?"  Childe attempted to regain your attention as he followed after you.  He caught onto the childlike wonder glistening in your teary eyes.  "Care to explain?"

"The pain..." a tear fell.  "It's subsiding."  You continued to stare at the harpist that played her tune at the back of the shop, eyes never leaving the fingers that plucked the strings. The voices were gone, and now you were only overwhelmed with a sense of peace.  

Childe watched you silently listen to the music for a long while.  An idea struck him.  "Have you ever played?"

"Huh?"  You snapped out of your daze and wiped the tears away.  "Um...Granny used to play a lot when I was little.  I know a couple tunes, but--"  Childe walked to the shop owner without letting you finish, pulling out a large sack of mora while he was at it. "H-hey! What're you doing?"

"If it brings you happiness, then I don't see the problem in buying it," Childe argued back after he had purchased the most expensive harp in the shop and left a considerate tip.  The two of you were walking back to the palace now.  He had ordered for his subordinates to take the instrument back with them.

"But I haven't played in years! And I said I only knew a few simple tunes--"

"--Then I will ensure you receive lessons."  He was not going to budge on this, and he made it obvious with his firm gaze.  "The rest of the harbingers made it clear that they do not care for your wellbeing, but I do.  Think of this as a gift and a type of therapy.  You've been down ever since Xiao left you--"

"I left him," you corrected.  And I so regret my decision.

"I'm just trying to prove that you aren't in a prison anymore.  If you want to see it as that, then by all means, continue to be depressed.  But something tells me you want to see Xiao again and find a way with him, no?"

"...Right."

"Then at the very least accept my apology gift to you."

"Huh? Apology?"  You gave him a questioning look, but he either didn't hear you or elected to ignore you.

......................................

Xiao was being as antisocial as ever, but it's not like he would ever turn down an invitation for tea from Rex Lapis himself.  Here he was, sitting just outside of Wangshu Inn with his master in the bright of day.  Aether probably put the archon up to the task considering how Xiao pushed him away what felt like ages ago, but the yaksha decided to give Zhongli the time of day only because of his deep respect for his savior.

"I've also brought more pain killers," Zhongli handed the yaksha a small jar of other-worldly medicines as he continued to fill him in on the upcoming Lantern Rite.  He had yet to bring you into the conversation, most likely to avoid irritating the throbbing wound in Xiao's chest.

"Mm."  Xiao gladly accepted the medication and set it aside.  This ensured yet another lull in their conversations.

"Will you go this year?"  Zhongli sipped at his tea.  "To the Lantern Rite?"

"My presence would only hinder the festival.  Besides, I'm not great with crowds."  The yaksha had yet to meet the archon's eyes, and kept his gaze firm on the teacup in front of him.  Truth be told, he would have gone this year...with you, since it was you who had asked him.  But now that these circumstances have come to pass, why should he go?  "It's just another excuse for humans to discard their trash into the ocean."  Why should he go when it would only remind him of his failure to keep you at his side?

Zhongli narrowed his eyes as he pondered whether words of comfort would aid his yaksha.  "It would be good for you to experience something new after all your years of living."

"I already have," Xiao clenched his jaw, signaling that the topic was beginning to walk on thin ice.  "She--"

"--Is not dead," Zhongli reminded. "Do not mourn for a loss that has not occurred."

"But she's dying," he argued back, finally releasing the emotions he's pent up ever since they left you.  Zhongli's look of confusion prompted him to continue.  "She can feel the karmic debt bestowed upon me."

"When did this begin?"  The archon's usual reserved composure faltered slightly while his eyes widened.  

"A month ago.  I visited her; she can hear the voices of the damned.  She's been in physical and mental pain ever since."

"The bond..." Zhongli set his teacup down a bit abruptly as he thought to himself.  "It appears these side effects grow stronger in the other's absence.  How intriguing..."

"How do we discard them?  Is there a way?"

"Have you not interpreted my words in Qingce Village all along?  Or my words at the Dawn Winery?  I've already given you the means to act, Xiao."

--Can feel your emotions...emotions cannot be permanently ignored...fall on deaf ears...early grave...  Xiao scoffed and downed the rest of his tea before forcefully setting the cup back down onto the table.  "You think admitting my alleged feelings for a mortal human would solve the problem?"

"She's done her part, now it is your turn," he straightened.  "If you fail to do so, I fear she will perish from your karmic debt in no time at all.  If what you say is true, it's a miracle she's still alive.  Your admittance would seal the bond, as it would eliminate the side effects altogether."

Xiao's head whipped in the direction of the playing of an instrument note, but was only greeted with the joyful screams of children running around nearby.  "Tch.  How annoying," he played his mishearing off and returned to his normal sitting position.  Another sound reached his ears, but he neglected to react to it.  The notes are off.

Zhongli didn't question Xiao's sudden alertness, but that didn't take away from the fact that yet another side effect has revealed itself to the archon.  It appeared as though the yaksha was already aware of this side effect.

And man, did this one annoy Xiao the most.  He heard the most random of tunes and chords at the most random of times.  It would even jolt him awake when he managed to fall asleep on rare nights.  It wasn't all unpleasant though; there were times in which the melody struck all the right notes and the result was a beautiful thirty second song before it was gloriously ruined by the musician's hesitance or embarrassment.

He knew it was you.  Your constant need to practice was as pestering as your old daily prayers before he revealed to you that he could hear them.  At least he only sometimes heard the plucking of strings.  As pesky and invasive as it was, your insistence upon playing what Xiao only assumed was a lyre somehow brought a bit of joy to his heart.  It meant that you were doing better than the last time he saw you.

He just wished he could hear the end result and not your sloppy practice sessions.

........................

Only on the eve of the Lantern Rite, several days before the celebration, did he come to appreciate the hours of hard work you were putting into practicing the music.

You had locked yourself in your room again after watching the failed experiments Dottore had forced you to witness.  How many did you see die today? Fifty?  He clearly needed to adjust the ratio of your blood to whatever else he had in that serum he developed.  What was worse was that you were beginning to become desensitized to the loss of human life; amused by it, even. Just as the Tsaritsa wanted. Sometime into the fortieth treatment, your pains grew stronger as did the voices of the slain daemons.

You retreated to your room, relieved that Childe had for once allowed you to be without his presence.  You sat yourself next to the window and allowed for the evening light to illuminate the music sheets the harbinger had bought for you.  Your fingers grazed lightly over the strings as the voices continued to grow louder, absently plucking one of them to ensure that you still had full control over your slightly twitching limbs.  You had nearly snapped the strings last time the voices overwhelmed you--

There's no time nor need to reminisce those incidents.  You pulled yourself out of your thoughts and began to play, the smooth vibrations of the harp humming against your chest and shoulder as the strings were struck.  Unlike your practice sessions, your hands glided over the strings from one position to the next like you had played for a thousand years.  No hesitation could be felt from the chords.  Finally, it seemed as though you mastered this song.

Xiao.  I miss you...your warmth...your embrace... Your infested thoughts soon cleared as your mind drifted to an image of him.  I wonder if he too finds comfort in music when the voices overwhelm him?  For you knew that when the voices grew louder, he too, was subject to them.  The music overcame the screaming daemons, and you were relieved with a sense of peace.  Your fingers continued to play through the music and repeated the song for as many times as you felt fit.  Your aching limbs continued to throb, but you didn't let that stop you from playing.  Your mind now clear as water, you poured your longing for Xiao into your music. You hummed the melody as you played.

One day you'll find your way back to him, or him to you.  Was it okay to allow yourself to believe in the possibility that he held the same feelings for you?  Did he love you? No--Could he?  It was already naïve enough to think he was capable of harboring such intimate feelings after living through hell for over two thousand years.  And even if he did, it's not like you'd live as long as he has.  Would he push me away again?  You shoved that thought out of your mind with another series of chords.

You wouldn't be able to put an end to your feelings no matter what he did.  He was too admirable, too strong, too strict, too beautiful.  He was too kind, even if he put up a front.  You loved him too much; perhaps that would end in your own downfall just as Childe predicted and beat into your head every day, but that was alright with you.  If the voices were to eat away at you until all that remained were ashes, you were okay with being true to yourself until the very end.  Even if he never thought of you as something more than a companion.  And as you thought of him, the longing to be reunited swelled within your chest and overflowed into your fingers.

Your song was your unspoken prayer, your love and dedication were your offerings.

[kentos-filmcamera]

10 times, 1 occasion - Inumaki Toge

7. Festivities

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: hi hi! soo a few things: I would like to warn that this chapter shows a more feminine side of the reader so if anyone is uncomfy,, you've been warned. this chapter is just friendship and ships (there's nobara x maki and yuuji x megumi if you squint a bit) and it's 3.0k words (new record!!!!!) so buckle up and enjoy! also, next chapter is my favorite so far so go read it as soon as you're done with this.

Toge persisted you to rest for the past three days, as you were indicated. He sat by your bedside so you wouldn’t go anywhere, always keeping your injured ankle raised and your head comfortable, helping you to change bandages from time to time. Even then, you persisted to go as normal and continue with your duties.

“So hot…” Maki complained from your green couch, her glasses set aside as she covered her eyes from the sun with her forearm.

“I think you should stop hugging Kugisaki, then” Megumi suggested, the redhead laying on top of her, but he just received a death glare.

“Shake” Toge agreed with Maki, laying on top of Panda, who was snoring loudly. You, on the other hand, were on top of Yuuji’s shoulders, working on your damaged air conditioner.

“Gimme the flat screwdriver, ‘Gumi” You extended your hand, the other one holding one of the filters of the AC.

Your air conditioning system broke down once a year, and you knew it was because of the dirty filters. For some reason, everyone decided to hang out in your room, so extra help was usually given out to you. Maki and Nobara cleaned the filters, Panda and Toge first assisted you and then the help shifted to Megumi and Itadori. The last one was more than glad to have a pair of thighs wrapped around his neck, and his smile displayed so as Inumaki and Megumi both stared him down to oblivion. With the screwdriver now in your hand, you pressed each filter well to its original place. You closed the lid and Yuuji plopped you down on your bed, making you laugh.

You reached in to click on the air conditioner, it turned on normally and after a few minutes, it wasn’t leaking water anymore. “It’s fixed” You heard a collective sigh you let out yourself, feeling the cold air fill the room.

Itadori laid down on the floor by your mini-fridge and Megumi sat at the edge of your bed, next to your feet. You were all so overwhelmed by the heat, no one really wanted to speak, just take in the fake rise in temperature to calm down their sweating and corporal heat.

Just as you were falling into pure, calm bliss, you heard bass thumping from down the hall. You opened your eyes and raised your head towards the door, at the same time everyone else did, confused. Queue in Gojo with a boombox from the 90s, playing ‘Congratulations’ by Post Malone. There was now a collective groan in annoyance as he walked in and faced the bunch of sweaty teens.

“Good afternoon my amazing students!” There was another collective groan in response. No one didn’t even bother raising their heads once more to look at him, and Megumi just turned his face away slightly. Everyone was grumpy or simply not in the mood “I am here to give out great news! Everyone who has tried for first-grade sorcerer has been officially promoted! Congratulations!”

Suddenly, the aura of the room shifted. Everyone was upright, in a mix of shock and happiness. Nobara started screaming out in happiness with Maki, while you, Megumi, Gojo, and Itadori started jumping on your bed in a circle, holding hands. Inumaki was hugging Panda.

“Let’s throw a party! A fancy one!” Itadori suggested, and everyone cheered. Gojo seemed very fond of the idea, as he laughed.

“Dress code is suit and tie, I’ll see you all in the common dining room at 8! Now if you excuse me, I have a party to plan!” Gojo jumped out of the bed, picked up his speaker, and sprinted out of the room. You came down from your bed and threw yourself into Toge’s arms, who pulled you closer in by your waist. You laughed and nuzzled into his neck happily; he was smiling proudly.

“Oh my god! We need to go shopping!” Nobara realized, grabbing Maki’s wrist and snatching you away from Inumaki to head out the door.

“Wait, I need my wallet!” You screamed, but Toge ran after you to give you the tote bag you carried for trips outside the school. You blew him a kiss as he waved you goodbye.

“I’m dressed so inappropriately to go out” Maki groaned as Nobara rushed you on.

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand so no one flirts with you” Nobara beamed at her and then wink, making Maki fluster. You laughed and elbowed her in the ribs, wiggling your eyebrows.

“I can’t believe I'm going to have to third wheel today!” You laughed, watching as both women turned crimson.

Nobara insisted on shopping in the Harajuku district and looking at her eyes gleaming while passing different stores was like watching a kid in a candy store. Surprisingly, she was the pickiest one out of the three. Maki found her outfit first, a black blazer and pants combo with a black mesh button-up that had Nobara drooling. You found a black silk slip dress that reached down your calf, a slit on one of the legs with a loose neckline that reached down your collarbones. Nobara found a black dress that reached a bit down to her knees, it was strapless with a see-through long sleeve with roses. She laughed at the irony of it, considering the poison she was infected with last week manifested in roses on her skin. After that, you went to grab a bite, the three of you talking about everything, anything and nothing at the same time. You noticed the flirtatious remarks between your companions, happy that both had decided to move their attraction to flirting, rather than just staring at each other all the time. You returned to Jujutsu High around 3 PM, more exhausted than ever, you threw your bag to a corner, kicked off your sneakers, and threw yourself on the bed face down, falling asleep in that same starfish position.

“Aw, she’s asleep” You heard a voice comment. You thought it was only a dream and continued on napping. “Let’s just let her rest”

“Are you crazy? They promised to do our makeup! That’s three people already!” Another hushed voice chimed in.

“Tuna mayo” A third voice hummed. You were already back fast asleep as someone tried to shake you awake gently, only to fail miserably.

Toge sighed and squatted down, his face to level yours. Even with your mouth ajar, your duvet darkening from your saliva, and your slightly loud breathing, he loved how you looked so serene that what he was about to do next he found very cruel.

Delicately, he moved your hair away from your ear, swooping it to the other side of your face. Right there, he was taken away by your sleeping beauty; purples, oranges, and blues chiming into light your face as the sun went down. He sighed, half-smiling “Wake up”

He watched as your eyes popped open and you sat up, rigid. “What day is it?” You wondered, scratching your head and yawning, disoriented after the sudden surge of energy running through your body. Toge sat down by your side and placed his hand on your bare waist. You noticed lately he was even more touchy than usual.

“What day is it?” Nobara mocked you, a vein in her forehead palpitating. “You need to do our makeup! Hurry! You haven’t even showered!” She snatched you away from Toge and pushed you inside your bathroom. You heard a light ‘Tsk!’ outside from Inumaki, who has proven time to time really appreciate you being snatched away from him. “And you! Get out!” Kugisaki ushered him out of the room, slamming the door in his face.

“A little harsh, huh?” Maki said, turning to Nobara, who just rolled her eyes.

“I don’t care” She shrugged before taking out her hair straightener and a heat protector. You chuckled from inside the bathroom before taking your phone out of your pocket and connecting it to the Bluetooth speaker on the wall next to the bathroom mirror. You shuffled the playlist Toge made you a while ago and turned on the faucet.

“I hope you’re not going on a world tour right now! We don’t have time to listen to you all the way to your fiftieth stop in London!” You heard Nobara knock and shout at you from the other side of the door.

You rolled your eyes “Maki, keep your girl in check!” You shouted back before stripping and stepping into the shower. You were in the middle of your third song, washing the suds away from your body and giving your rendition of “Cognac Queen” by Megan Thee Stallion when Nobara opened the door and dragged you out of the shower. It became a struggle, and you were only able to grab the pink fluffy robe that hung on your door.

You fixed Maki’s hair by pulling it half up with a small claw clip, leaving her bangs out. Then you applied the lightest layer of makeup, with the dark eyeliner she requested. Nobara, on the other hand, asked for a full face with a red lip. On the other hand, you went for a light look, with a striking eye and a glossy lip. Then, the three of you rushed to get changed as you realized it was almost ten minutes before 8. As you exited the dorm, you wrapped a white ballerina-style cardigan, taking one last look at yourself at the entrance mirror before Nobara dragged you out of there. The three of you walked to the common room carefully, the door opened slightly.

You heard a couple whistles as you entered the room, you humored the boys, Nobara looked slightly mad while Maki ignored them. You realized that for the occasion Toge wasn’t wearing anything that covered his mouth, and made it evident it was a bit ajar watching you arrive. You said hello to the staff, greeting Nanami happily, who seemed pleased with your recovery and being slightly confused at why Utahime was there. You then headed over to greet your classmates, ending up with Toge.

“You look very handsome” You chuckled, and reached in to fix the strands of hair that fell on his forehead. He was wearing a sage green shirt, black trousers, and thin black suspenders. He shrugged a little and blushed as you touched him, leaning slightly into your touch.

“Shake” He nodded, and held your hand briefly, accepting the compliment. You blushed and looked down before taking your hand away from his face, afraid you were overstepping.

The party was light, everyone chatted and conversed lightly. Itadori seemed very busy on his phone, while Megumi spent all his energy trying to grab his attention. Yuuji called out for you, making you pull away from your conversation with Toge and Panda, who looked dashing in a yellow bow tie. He also called out for Panda. “I need your help,” He said nervously “I saw a speaker with lights in your room, can you go bring it here? Also, please wait at the entrance for someone. Panda, I need you as a distraction”

You excused yourself and left swiftly, fitting your cardigan once more. You walked the way up to your room, taking the squared-shaped, medium-sized speaker with half spheres on top, grabbing the aux cord just in case. Holding the speaker by its handle, you followed the trail to the entrance quietly.

“What is this?” You frowned upon seeing the students of the Kyoto sister school facing you. You raised your brows and Mai and Momo narrowed their eyes back to you, but the rest didn’t. Your eyes fell into the liquor store bags Todo held in his hands, then it all made sense. A smirk crept onto your face as Todo watched your change of expression and laughed. A party with the Kyoto students didn’t seem half as bad, and hey, maybe the stone-cold Soju can solve things out between everyone there.

Soon, you heard a couple of explosions and fireworks and some commotion coming from the common room. “Let’s go” You picked up the skirt of your dress a little to run a little easier, the rest following after you. You noticed everyone outside watching an impromptu firework show as you sneaked in the Kyoto students to the now dark room. Slowly, the rest of the Tokyo students sneaked back to the common room, Itadori locking the door in.

“Okay Panda, that was fun, but can we— huh?!” Gojo realized the locked doors and drawn windows. He tried to force the door open but it was closed shut.

“Oh finally. Can we go to a bar now?” Shoko sighed “Let them be Satoru, they’re in the blink of death every day, let them party”

“Can we all pretend they didn’t do that and we were here all the time chaperoning?” Gojo gave in easily, changing his usual blindfold to black, round sunglasses. Everyone made a noise in agreement and the staff left, feeling the bass pumping under their feet, the surges of different colored lights leaking out of the shut windows.

At first, the party was tense. Everyone was just staring at the other from across the room. You were busy in the background trying to plug in your phone and sync it to the speaker’s Bluetooth. Then, Todo gave a lengthy speech about sorority and brotherhood, and how you should all solve your differences so you could… get drunk and nasty together. In fact, it didn’t take long for the party to lighten up and turn into a club scene. By the third round of shots, mostly everyone was hot and bothered, all the tables moved aside to create a makeshift dance floor. Surprisingly, Panda was an incredible bartender, and he was out to kill; his drinks were packed with alcohol, but fruity and candied flavors hid it all and made it even more addicting. By your third drink, you ripped open the seam of the dress, creating another slit for you to move better.

You, Nobara, and the Zen’in twins were incredible dancers, but you didn’t really expect it from Itadori. He had all the spice down in his hips and the way he could shake his ass like his name was Cardi B. He joined in after his third shot with the song ‘Up’

“Broke boys don’t deserve no pussy!” Todo shouted to the song for the rest to respond.

“I know that’s right!” Everyone answered, except for Toge, before you continued dancing. Now more than ever you felt the euphoria of having money. First-grade sorcerers gave you a considerable amount of money, even if you were just a student.

“Yuuji!” Your mouth dropped to the floor, looking at him, before cheering him on along with the others. By the makeshift bar, a flustered Megumi joined by a sober Inumaki watched him dance, not knowing what he should do in that situation.

Then, as if you were reading his mind, you showed him what he should be doing; standing behind him and grabbing his hips. Soon as Nobara did the same with you, followed by Maki, followed by Mai, followed by Todo, making a train. On the other corner, there was some smoke coming up. You never thought you could have this much fun with people.

Another song started playing “It’s my homegirl, we got the same tattoos!” Itadori pulled you close to him while Todo recorded, and you laughed.

“Don’t accuse me of shit if you ain’t got proof!” You sang along, pointing to the camera, following along.

“What if we got matching tattoos?” Itadori turned to you, and you both frowned to think it hard.

“I think that’s enough” Megumi pulled your drink away from your hand.

“‘Gumi, relax. Go take a shot or a hit from Kamo in the corner, it’s a party! C’mon!” You pulled him to the dance floor, both him and Yuuji as you both threw it back on him to the song. This time, Megumi caught clues from earlier and shyly placed his hands on Itadori’s hips. You stopped and nodded, patting him on the back and walking away, a bit clumsily.

“Do we have any more water left?” You asked Panda, feeling your throat and eyes dry from the intoxicating substances. Panda nodded happily and gave you some water. You had reached your limit and decided it was time to sweat off the drinks and hydrate yourself.

“Oh my bad, that’s vodka,” He said as your mouth went into a thin line as you recognized the strong taste and scent. Inumaki snickered “Here”

“Tell me it’s not vinegar this time” You joked, taking a loud sniff of the liquid, and it was in fact, water. You took a large gulp, as you heard thunder followed by the soft pitter-patter of the rain. “Oh, it’s raining” You turned to Inumaki, who looked stunned at your drunken beauty. Your eyeliner was smudged, and so was your lipstick. There was some hair sticking to the nape of your neck due to the sweat. He could swear he saw some drops running down the small of your back. He gulped and looked away.

“You’ve been here all night, love; c’mon, let’s dance” You set your cup down and took Toge’s hand, pulling him out of his seat. The only reason this party was going along all well was that alcohol made you more straightforward, which made you all sultry towards your evident crush.

You noticed he was paler than usual “What’s wrong? Do I make you nervous?” You whispered in his ear, your hand slowly climbing from his hand all the way up to his neck, where you caressed the area. You never could have known alcohol made you that bold, and such a, well, maneater. At his lack of an answer, you just chuckled and took his hand, guiding him elsewhere.

Everyone at the dance floor greeted him more than enthusiastically, and suddenly, every insecurity Toge was holding deep inside of him throughout the whole party had disappeared. He blinked several times as you smiled at him as radiant as ever. “Let’s dance!” He nodded and smiled back. I love you.

[skellebonez]

Since it's been a while since I prompted you, 38/51 for Traffic Light Trio and Spicynoodleshipping?

It’s also been a while since you... sent this... I am getting through my prompts slowly but surely! Hopefully the wait was worth it, it has been a while since I have written TLT or SpicyNoodles alone so this was really enjoyable! I apparently missed this more than I realized as this is quite long! (There are references to a past fill as well, but this can be read stand alone.)

If you move from that spot, so help me, I will tie you down/Can you two save the kissing for later?

“For the love of- stop trying to get up Noodle-Brain!” Red Son snapped, albeit more with exasperated worry than anger this time. “You’re only going to make it worse!”

“No, really, I’m fine!” Xiaotian insisted, moving to once again attempt to stand.

He was not fine and his face soon came into contact with an impromptu date with Red Son’s open palm, catching him before he landed on the floor instead. Normally Xiaotian would have pulled his face back with a muttered "sorry" or "thanks" or "wow Red that was shockingly nice of you".

Instead he groaned and allowed himself to just kind of... hang there, his weight being held by that palm that probably felt oddly normal temperatured to him at the moment. Understandable given that his face was flushed red and that even to Red's naturally warmer body temperature touch he felt overheated in fever.

This was not quite the sight Red Son had expected to see when he had ventured out into the city on his own, just wanting to have some kind of time away from his work to gather his thoughts about... well, a lot of things. Ever since the entire fiasco with the Lunar New Year festival his mind had been wandering back toward when he worked with Xiaotian and Xiaojiao and things that happened afterwards.

He still had the phone he had accidentally kept from the green dragon and they had talked a few times. More than a few times. ... ok, maybe they had been texting near daily and had calls every other night and maybe he started watching her streams out of curiosity, and maybe he had been added to a group chat with the Noodle Boy and started to text him too, but he didn't really have anyone else to talk to outside of the his parents and Bull Clones! They were still enemies, just friendly ones! Frenemies! And it had been... nice. To talk to someone who seemed interested in what he wanted to say. And maybe understood him a little. Maybe possibly... didn't actually dislike him as much as he had believed initially.

... and maybe Red Son was deluding himself when he said he didn't actually like either of them, but that was neither here nor there! His thoughts were getting away from him!

The point was thus- he'd gone into the city for a break with the intention of heading to his private apartment he had for such occasions, happened upon one Noodle Boy laying face down on the seat of his (otherwise empty and clearly not being used for work that day) delivery vehicle looking absolutely miserable and burning up, and against his better judgment he took him back to said apartment. That was shockingly easy considering Xiaotian was pretty much passed out due to the high fever combined with his moving around and the fact Red Son could lift the vehicle himself if he wanted to (he didn't, he just took the keys with them so no one would make off with it).

And so that was how Red Son found himself in this predicament. In his apartment with the AC on just enough to be slightly uncomfortable, one sick Monkie Kid doing his best to remove himself from his couch with a cold compress on his forehead while insisting he was fine when he clearly was not, debating on whether or not he should have taken this dumbass to the hospital instead. If only because he was being frustrating to keep still.

"You are most clearly not 'fine', now lay back down," Red Son said with a warning growl, pushing his rival (gently, he wouldn't be so callous as to kick someone while they were down like this) back into the mound of pillows he had laid out for him. He never had visitors so he may as well make the best of this and pull out what he had in storage so they could be used for once. "If you move from that spot, so help me, I will tie you down."

"... ok," Xiaotian finally acquiesced, closing his eyes and laying back into the plush around him and looking even worse than he had before he had been trying to convince the other he was fine. (Though had he not looked clearly sick the sight would have been almost cute to-NO! Red was not going to think that.)

Red Son didn't know what precisely was wrong with him, though based on his symptoms and reactions it was likely a basic but now out of control flu (regardless, he knew he himself was in little to no danger of most human illnesses) and helping him recuperate here (because no one except Red Son was allowed to defeat the Monkie Kid, not even an illness!) was looking like a more reasonable idea now. But he couldn't help but wonder how had the other man allowed himself to get this bad. Why had he even gone outside in his state? He wasn't working, his lack of normal uniform or delivery orders was evidence enough of that, so it wasn't as if he had been forced to go out by his boss. Was he just too stubborn? Did he think he would be ok for a few minutes and not realize he was this ill? The delivery boy was of no help in that regard, brushing off every attempt from the fire demon to learn the answers to those questions. He wasn't delirious, he just refused to answer!

So instead of trying to push again Red Son sighed and stood up. When Xiaotian opened his eyes to look at him in curiosity he frowned at the deep dark bags under them (had he ever been sleeping?) and the dull sheen they seemed to have before he held his hand up in a "stop" motion.

"You stay right there. I meant that threat. I am going to be back in 10 minutes. Do not test me..." Red stood, lifting both his arms for a moment before giving the other another glance. "And don't, uh... die, I guess."

And then Red was gone in a wave of his arms and a flash of fire.

~

He landed at the entrance to a nearby convenience store, not somewhere one would normally think he would frequent but convenience was convenience. And they had very good coffee to grab when he ran out in his apartment. Yes, he was a Villain with a capital V and could just torment the staff for free goods... but he knew that if he did that long enough the stores would start causing him trouble or close down and that would negate the convenience.

No, it wasn't because the first cashier that greeted him was willing to pay for his goods believing he had forgotten his wallet and thus felt guilty for his first attempt at doing so. And he would deny that until the day he died.

That wasn't his goal for the day, however. Red Son may not get ill the way humans did, but it felt useful to him to know how how to treat the more common ailments in the event his family may be forced to work with one. So he grabbed a basket and made a quick beeline straight for the nearest aisle with medicine.

In even less than the 10 minutes he cited he had a basket filled with flu medicine, more cold compresses, soup broth, and much more. Yes, all of this was absolutely necessary. He didn't care that much about his nemesis, he just wouldn't let an illness make him weak. Nope. That was the only reason. Nothing else. He totally wasn't caring for someone he considered a friend, he didn't have friends, not even Xiaojiao was a-

"Red?"

Crap.

"What are you doing standing in line at a convenience store?" Xiaojiao asked, and as Red turned back to her he saw that she had... some very similar items in her own basket, plus some comics. At his eyes widened in realization she looked down at his own basket and sighed. "... either this is a very interesting coincidence or Xiaotian did something he shouldn't have."

~

Red entered his apartment through the door, the noise rousing the apparently lightly sleeping man on his couch.

"Red? You're back alrea-!?" Xiaotian snapped his mouth shut as he turned his head and opened his eyes to see the wide smiling face of a, clearly to someone who knew her well, angry Xiaojiao. "... I'm in trouble aren't I?"

"Oh you have no idea," she replied lightly, setting down the snacks and books and other assorted items she had purchased while Red made his way into the kitchen with his purchases. "I told you I would be at your apartment with stuff after I finished covering your shift for you, so would you like to explain why Red Son found you nearly passed out in your tuk-tuk half way to the nearest store?"

Though her words were sharp and snappy, it was clear to the listening Red that they were so in genuine concern for her friend. There was a mutter from Xiaotian and a questioning sound from Xiaojiao before the man cleared his throat and repeated himself.

"You already helped me out... I just wanted to try to get that stuff myself so you wouldn't have to do more. I was feeling pretty ok until I drove for a while..."

Ah. So that explained it. Xiaotian had just been going out for medication himself. Not the best idea with a fever of his magnitude, but understandable if he believed he could handle something that simple. Red had begun to wonder if he had been trying to head to Flower Fruit Mountain with bow evasive he was being, but this was a much less disastrous answer.

"Xiaotian, you're my best friend," he heard Xiaojiao say in a much softer tone, and there was the sound of the shuffling on the couch. "I wanted to help you, it didn't matter to me how much it was. I've helped you get to Flower Fruit Mountain and kick demon ass! A delivery shift or two and a convenience store run is something I'd do in a heartbeat. Now open your mouth, I grabbed a thermometer so we can see how bad off you actually are."

There was an agreeable sound and a chuckle, then silence as Red continued what he had been doing. Taking out a dose of medication and preparing something for Xiaotian to eat. Or, rather, drink along side the tea he was also preparing for himself and Xiaojiao. It was little more than chunks of tofu and soup broth with some mild flavoring, something simple and easy to make and eat while sick and-

Red Son held his face in his hands and groaned softly as he waited for the broth to warm. What was he doing? His greatest enemies were in his living room, one sick with fever, and he was preparing medicine and food for him. Frenemies? Only he could defeat them? Is that really what he was telling himself to justify his actions? That they were friend-enemies and they were his to beat?

That was a bold faced lie and he knew it. Had known it for a while. Maybe since he first called Xiaojiao just to speak with someone who would listen to him. Maybe since he first watched her stream in curiosity. Certainly, though, since he accepted being added to the group text she had named "Traffic Light Trio" (really? What kind of name that that?). He would have never done that had he not considered them his friends, he knew that deep down. He just didn't want to admit it (and he super did not want to admit that he maybe felt his own face warm up when they complimented him or that he had butterflies in his stomach the off times they called him by nicknames).

As he turned off the now lightly boiling broth and set it to the side to cool, Red Son began to admit to himself that maybe he was just as much of a dumbass as the Noodle Boy. It seemed that out of the three of them Xiaojiao had firm hold on the only available brain cells when it came to interpersonal relationships.

But that train of thought was not helpful at the moment, so he pushed it down (deeeeeeep down) as he gathered everything up and made his way to the couch again.

The sight that greeted him gave him pause Xiaojiao sitting on the arm of the couch and running a hairbrush through Xiaotian's tangled hair, Xiaotian looking slightly better thanks to the compress against his forehead and smiling softly against the pillows.

There were those butterflies. Oh. Red Son had it bad.

"So?" He asked, drawing their attention to himself as he sat everything on the nearby table. "How bad is it?"

"Not enough to take him to a doctor yet," Xiaojiao answered with a chuckle as she hopped down. "Though I think what you did before helped with that."

Red flushed a bit himself in response, grumbling under his breathe as he shoved the medicine and a cup of water into Xiaotian's hands. "WELL. Take this and. Maybe it’ll stay that way!" He attempted to sound as snappy as normal but the looks on both his guests faces told him he failed miserably in that regard.

"Thanks, Red," Xiaotian said with an earnest smile, and the butterflies were back and Red Son couldn't help the slight sparking of his hair in response.

"Don't mention it. Ever." He grumbled a bit, taking the cup before sighing and helping Xiaotian sit up straighter. "You shouldn't eat half laying down." He maneuvered the pillows to make a little wall between Xiaotian and a space next to the arm of the couch. A space he quickly occupied himself before handing him the bowl of broth over his shoulder. "So you don't have to move more."

The other two looked at each other with surprise on their faces before Xiaojiao smiled and sat on the other arm as they grew silent. Xiaotian eating, Xiaojiao playing on her phone, and Red... well. He tried to look like he was doing something on "his" phone, the one he took from Xiaojiao and replaced the old case with a showy flame covered one. But in reality he was just sitting there staring into space thinking "holy crap this is happening what have I done what happens next oh crap".

"Hey Red?"

"YES!?" He asked far too loud and quick with a squeak in his voice as his hair flared at Xiaotian's words, clearing his throat before repeating himself in a much more appropriate tone (only to earn a giggle from Xiaojiao).

He felt the other man lean back against him, and before he could even begin to fight his flush on his face he heard him chuckle as well. "I appreciate your help."

"L-like I said... don't mention it..."

Xiaotian chuckled again in reply and sighed, leaning completely against Red Son and as he looked over and down he saw his relaxed face and flushed deeper and... it felt nice.

He wondered why he ever pushed down his feelings before.

Xiaojiao grabbed the dishes with a knowing smirk, heading into the kitchen with a few parting words.

"Can you two save the kissing for later? Maybe when Xiaotian isn't sick?"

Both men flushed as deep as they could and sputtered out denials in response, and if that wasn't an indication that Xiaotian maybe felt similarly to Red as Red did to him...