#i mean. the way i talk is super similar to a LOT of characters in most ways in most Japanese media

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[elucubrare]

What are your biggest turn-offs when reading/watching historical fiction or retellings of myths?

this is really complicated - i can put it in two boxes, both of which are packed very full.

disconnection from the material reality of the past

when characters display a very specifically modern mindset (about social issues especially, but other stuff too)

(I also get bothered by some kinds of modern language - I don't mind it when, idk, an author uses "sensible" with the modern connotation of "practical" and not the 18th century "emotional" or "empathetic", but "yeah" or "okay," or even, as i found out when someone used it in medieval fantasy, "holy shit" will get on my nerves.)

there are modern things where (made up example!) a character who's supposed to be a cook will talk about making caprese salad for a fancy restaurant in December, and someone snarking on the book will say "yeah, right, they should know better than to make something that depends on a fresh summer vegetable!" and even with greenhouses, that's pretty fair. and that's even more extreme in the past. it's 1650 in Verona, it's December, you cannot obtain fresh tomatoes. i don't think this means that people in the past were, necessarily, more emotionally or spiritually in tune with the cycle of the year, or the labor it took to get clothes, or furniture, or any other material item, and of course wealth can insulate people from some of that difficulty, but it does mean that the seasons had more direct impact on people's lives. It's possible to, for example, buy clothes ready-made, but for anything fancy, it's more likely that it'll be made to fit if it's new, or altered extensively and painstakingly if it's not. that means that tearing or staining a fancy dress isn't just an issue of looking bad - you can't just replace it, and you probably won't throw it out - you figure out how to reuse it. those concerns of access to material goods are just a lot closer to the surface of the world than they often are now.

my objections to modern attitudes about the world are not that people in the past 100% accepted the views of their contemporaries - there were always people who didn't, and it makes sense that a protagonist would be one of them. but people wouldn't phrase those objections in the same way that modern people would - say your main character doesn't want a woman accused of being a witch burned. "God's power is such that the Devil cannot give this woman the ability to sour milk" is most likely going to be more persuasive to the crowd than "witches aren't real." and sometimes that's rough - it's not super fun to read about a Roman with Roman attitudes about provincial wars, or slavery in the city, but I put something down because a Roman character said (in internal dialogue) that he was disgusted to see that a man had been tortured because "Romans simply didn't do that." Historical Romans did do that, routinely - a slave could not testify in a law court unless they had been tortured. Even with distasteful things like that, I'd much rather it just be glossed over than to have them say the "correct" modern thing. It just makes it feel too much like the theme park version of the culture.

Both of these are because of specific things I come to historical fiction for - I want that sense of alienation, the gulf of experience. I hate that most historical fiction (and fantasy set in semi-recognizable periods) characters don't really care about Honor, except as a joke, because I love when characters organize their lives around arcane rules and systems that cause tiny things to escalate into blood feud. I just think they're neat! I like it when people's worldviews are shaped by their lack of scientific certainty about what causes crops to fail! If I wanted to read about people who thought and acted like me, and had lives that were mostly similar to mine, only cooler, I'd just read contemporary fiction.

[luckthebard]

I’m going to preface this by saying that I also got annoyed about a similar phenomenon around my favorite character in C2 (Caleb) so I don’t think this is just an Imogen problem but:

I’m increasingly frustrated with the way a lot of the fandom talks about Imogen and especially how other characters interact with her. There’s a lot of super uncritical “how could you be mean to my poor baby” that crops up even when she might kind of need to hear some hard-to-swallow truths and be questioned.

It ends up creating a fan environment around a character where it seems like some of the most vocal “fans” act like she’s so fragile she needs to be protected from any challenge or hardship or confrontation of her own fears - and what makes this frustrating is that the context of this character is that she’s in a D&D game. Challenge is the thing that will move and progress the character in that medium.

So I’d like to offer an alternative to the framing of that moment with Imogen, Orym, and Laudna I keep seeing. Yes, Orym was blunt, but he wasn’t exactly providing new information, just a reminder of the stakes and their job. “I’m pushing everyone” - I mean, of course! At this stage, why wouldn’t you if people faltered? In contrast I see Laudna’s clinging to soothing and comfort and “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to” to be a depiction of how sometimes that kind of expression of love isn’t actually helpful and merely allows for continued indecision and stagnation. Imogen may end up disagreeing on a course of action with Orym, sure, but trying to stop her from even considering or engaging with alternatives is a smothering affection also borne of fear that doesn’t allow Imogen agency.

The interesting contrast with Caleb is that it was Nott, his ride or die pal, who was often the one pushing and challenging him to grow. And don’t get me wrong, the similar fandom problem I noted at the top with Caleb absolutely targeted Nott and later very strongly Veth for daring to tell him blunt or uncomfortable truths. But Imogen’s ride or die girl isn’t pushing her, she’s doing the opposite and trying to cocoon her. Which I guess the fandom “protect my poor precious fave” impulse agrees with and doesn’t read as its own kind of interpersonal issue.

Imogen does need to be challenged if only so she can decide, truly, what she wants to achieve out of being on Ruidus and how far she’s willing to go. She’s a deeply conflicted character who has a lot of fascinating conflicting agendas she’s struggling with. If she is never pushed or never pushes herself she may not take the time to actually consider where her personal line is. Someone constantly agreeing with and shielding someone can be a problem in its own right.

[cosmonadarovicarts]

Theory: Carmilla would be Eve?

Among so many crazy theories (and I love it!) after this season, I'm going to bring my (crazy) theory. As the title already reveals, what if Carmilla Carmine was our missing Eve? Before you throw hate, here are some points:

-In some versions of the myth of the creation of Adam and Eve, Eve was condemned to hell (while Adam went to heaven). If the series goes down this path, the character wouldn't be in heaven;

-Carmilla's name: Originated from Hebrew culture. Carmila/Carmela/Carmilla/Carmile means garden, orchard. Well... I don't think it would be too much of a coincidence for the name to mean that (garden... Garden of Eden...).

-Eve was created from Adam's rib. Here I come up with the theory that the exorcist angels guided by Adam (including Vaggie) were created from his ribs (like Eve). This would explain the similarity in appearance of Vaggie, Lute and Carmilla.

--Carmilla's personality: she is super protective! The super mom of the series (so far). It is to be expected that Adam's second wife, mother of humanity, would be maternal./ "but she was presented as the mother of only two characters" man, she still seemed super worried about the day of extermination (she called a meeting with the Overlords precisely to think of ways to stop this), after all, the sinners were their descendants! (I'm not going to talk here about Adam's relationship with sinners, that would be worth another post) And, the same time, the exorcists would be like her sisters who she was reluctant to kill. I would also like to add here, I think Zestial could be Cain (one of his main sons and, precisely, the first sinner, as he killed his other brother Abel), this would explain the affection that Carmilla has for Zestial and for them both being the oldest Overlords! (Cain died before Eve in many versions of the myth) /Sure, they might just be good friends, but to me it made a lot of sense, my bad

-Her appearance: I've already commented on her resemblance to Vaggie (the two even duet two songs, expressing similar feelings), but now let's compare her appearance with her hair down with Eve's silhouette in the first episode (just look at the image I posted here) , it's identical! And of course, the second wife would have to be beautiful, and Carmilla is said to be beautiful.

--"ok but it is much more likely that she was one of the exorcist angels, taking into account her appearance and knowledge, why would Eve have an appearance similar to these angels?" Precisely because they came/were born from the same place, Adam's ribs! When Eve died, her demonic form still assumed that of a beautiful woman with large hands (representing her need to be able to hold, care for and hug everyone). Maybe Adam knew or didn't know how Eve was doing, and made his female army similar to his ex-wife (For me, this part would have several possibilities, like, him purposely making the appearance of the exorcists or it would just be because they were all born from the same place)

-In the final episode, when the news reports about what happened at the Hotel, the reactions of several characters appear, and there was one (emphasis?) in Carmilla's reaction to Adam's death (I imagine that, because she was against the extermination of sinners (her descendants) while her ex-husband, who lived in heaven, led this extermination, she should not have good feelings towards him).

Final note: Even if she is not Eve, probably she was one of the exorcist angels (as many already theorize), as she knew about the angelic weapons, knew of Vaggie's identity and her appearance.

(Sorry if there are a lot of grammatical errors, English is not my native language)

[seireitonin]

“Toby/ other characters would be an abuser!1!” A talk on why that pisses me off

Hi. My name is Seirei. I don’t want to share super personal shit on the internet, but due to certain factors in my life I have BPD. (this is NOT self diagnosis. I have been to a professional and for now they think I have this due to certain trauma/ symptoms I’ve shown) This is part of the cluster B personality type. That being said Toby and many other creepypasta characters either canonically have ASPD/ BPD or it’s a generally accepted headcanon that they do. Now this in itself doesn’t bother me if it’s done well and with research. But the problem is most ppl just slap these labels onto them without doing the proper research. I’ve gotten multiple comments on my TikTok like “well I think Toby is an abuser bc he has ASPD/ BPD” I hate that. I hate that so much. You guys say it’s for “realism” but you’re just demonizing mental disorders. You’re demonizing people like me. In you having your “realism” youre hurting me and ppl in the cluster B personality type. ASPD/ BPD doesn’t instantly make you an abuser. These are personality disorders brought on trauma. Especially trauma with parents/ family. People with ASPD/ BPD know that we’re not well all the time. We’re suffering from disorders that affect our lives. From trauma/ experiences that we didn’t ask for. These are DISORDERS. These aren’t fake edgy illnesses that you can slap onto a character with no thought when you want them to be angsty. For example when ppl say “Toby would be an abuser/ not be capable of love because of his ASPD and he went through abuse in his past” not only are you taking away the depth of his character, you’re just straight up demonizing mental disorders. If you read his story, he loves his mom and sister so much. People with ASPD can love. But it does cause him to be obnoxious and rude. But this isn’t coming from a place of malice. He’s a traumatized man w a disorder! This isn’t me saying Toby can do no wrong and he’s 100% healthy. Toby definitely has issues and I’d never erase that. But to call him an abuser because he has ASPD is so gross and you’re just demonizing ASPD to be edgy without doing research on it or the cluster B personality type in general. As I said before, people with cluster B personality type KNOW we have disorders. We live with them every day. They affect our lives, our relationships, ourselves. We know that we fuck up and what we do isn’t healthy all the time. We KNOW. We’re not doing it because we’re “abusers” we’re suffering and hurting. Again this isn’t me saying that everyone with BPD/ ASPD is a good person who’s willing to do the work and grow. There are bad people with these disorders. But that doesn’t mean everyone who has them are instantly abusive. I’m not an abuser at all. Never have been and never will be. But BPD does affect me and the way I act that can come off as hurtful/ unhealthy and I KNOW THAT. Im always actively putting in the work to be better, like a lot of people with ASPD/ BPD. Just because we have these disorders doesn’t instantly mean we can’t change/ be better. Doesn’t mean we’re not humans with emotions/ trauma of our own. Toby obviously had to do some kind of inner work to be able to be with Clockwork the way kastoway portrayed them. (If it’s canon or not is irrelevant here)When you say shit like “Toby is abusive bc of ASPD/ BPD” that’s what you’re telling us you think of us. You see us and treat us like monsters but then talk about how much you love Toby/ other characters for having our very real disorder. ASPD/ BPD can be seen as two sides of the same coin. They have so many similarities but are shown in different ways. Do proper research before you talk about mental health because you’re stigmatizing/ demonizing disorders that are already looked down upon. Toby does canonically have ASPD and possibly BPD but it’s written into his character pretty well(as well as a 13 year old in the 2010s can do) and now that ppl are older we can actually analyze his character/story correctly. But Jeff and many other characters still aren’t getting this same treatment and they need it.Do better.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Derision

Well, here we are. This is the episode you've all been waiting for me to cover. The one people claim is the cream of the crop when it comes to badness, not just for the insane amount of retcons and cases of character assassination, but for how it retroactively makes one of the most criticized parts of the entire show worse by comparison. If you've seen the episode, you know what I'm talking about.

Let's get into the fourteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Derision

We start off with Marinette waking up for the day before getting a call from Adrien, who gives one of the clunkiest pieces of exposition I've ever heard on this show, and that's saying something.

Adrien: I was just going to tell you how excited I am that we're meeting at the swimming pool later, and to wake you up just in case you were still sleeping.

Just as she hangs up, Marinette's hands start to tremble, having visions of a locker, hinting at some old memories resurfacing. Just to get this out of the way, but one thing I want to give this episode props for is the way these panic attacks are portrayed. The colors change, the environments warp around, and it gives off a very uneasy feeling. It kind of reminds me of this one episode of The Twilight Zone, “Little Girl Lost”, which used similar visuals to depict the otherworldly atmosphere of another dimension.

Marinette meets up with Adrien at the local pool, and has another panic attack. Kim and Ondine seem to notice this.

Kim: Woah, Adrien. That must've been some prank you pulled to make Marinette freak out like that. What did you do to her?

Ondine: It's not funny, Kim! Can't you see Marinette's not okay?

Kim: Oh, come on. She always reacts like that when someone pranks her.

Kim then proceeds to tell Adrien and Ondine (and by extension, the audience) about what he means. I'm going to talk a lot about this, so to make things easier for all of us, I'll give you the short version so you have an idea of what happened.

About a year before the events of “Origins”, we see Chloe was bullying Marinette even more than she did before then, constantly pulling sadistic pranks Megan from Drake & Josh would find to be overkill, while making her late to class. To make things worse, none of her teachers believed her and took Chloe's side all the time, giving her detention on the weekends. Mylene, Rose, and Juleka try to help Marinette, but apparently, Chloe orders them to not talk with her before saying that “she'll be there to make Marinette's life a nightmare”.

The only person with the common sense to help out Marinette is Socqueline, that girl from “Jubiliation”. Socqueline learns that Marinette has a crush on Kim, who is even more of a jerk than he was during the first half of Season 1, and when Marinette thinks about asking him out to the swimming pool after school, Socqueline advises Marinette to be careful. Sabrina tips off Chloe to Marinette's plan, so Chloe goes to give Kim advice to pull a prank on Marinette. At the pool, just as Marinette confesses her feelings to Kim, Kim gives her a box full of spiders, causing her to panic and fall backwards into the pool. Chloe films the thing with the intent to make it go viral, but Socqueline stops her plan before she can upload it. Kim doesn't seem to see what he did was wrong, seeing it as a harmless joke as Socqueline tells him to piss off.

It's here that Marinette determines that if she ever has feelings for a boy ever again, she'll need to be super prepared, explaining how much she knows about Adrien and his schedule in later episodes. Chloe then gets Socqueline expelled from school just a few weeks before the end of the school year. Marinette blames herself for what happened, but Socqueline tells her that sometimes, no matter how dire the odds seem, she needs to muster up the courage to fight the good fight.

Oh, and Marinette was almost akumatized by Monarch again, but it's really just an excuse to keep her away while Kim tells the story.

So... let's talk about this flashback. Clocking in at about ten minutes, almost half of the episode's runtime, this is easily the part everyone (myself included) seems to have problems with, for all kinds of reasons. Let's break down each and everything wrong with this flashback.

#1: The Portrayal of Chloe

Surprisingly, this is the least of my problems. Compared to Kim (who I'll get to later), Chloe is mostly in character with how she's usually portrayed by this point in the series. She's egotistical, she orders Sabrina around, she hates Marinette, and throws her father's name around over and over again like it's a boomerang. My feelings on the wasted opportunities with her character aside, this does make sense seeing how this takes place before Season 1.

But there's the problem. This takes place before Season 1, and Chloe does things she never did in Season 1, or any of the other seasons for that matter. She clearly has the teachers and principal doing what she wants, she can boss the other students around (which I'll also get to later), she pulls sadistic practical jokes on Marinette, and even uses her dad's name to get Socqueline expelled. In the show, she doesn't really do any of this. Sure, she can occasionally use her dad's influence to get what she wants (Lady Wifi, Rogercop, Frightningale, Determination), but it was never to this extent. While she also tried to act like she was better than the rest of her peers, barring Sabrina, nobody ever listened to her or took her seriously. Chloe also tended to focus on bullying Marinette, but she didn't do these kinds of practical jokes. Usually, it was either sabotage (Mr. Pigeon, Despair Bear, Gabriel Agreste) or just general name calling, and she picked on other students too (Dark Cupid, Reflekta, Antibug, Sole Crusher, Penalteam, Deflagration).

The point I'm trying to make is why the hell did Chloe stop acting this way? What caused her to stop being as bad as she is here? I get the whole point of this episode is to show how terrible Chloe is, but you're showing off all her bad moments in a flashback and never considering the other things she's done that would be just as effective. Wasn't the main idea behind Chloe's “damnation arc” that she started to change, but went back on her ways and became worse than before? If that's the case, I have to reiterate, why was she even worse in this flashback?

I also have an issue with making the cause of all of Marinette's trauma because of this prank by Chloe. Yes, the prank was terrible, and trust me this isn't me once again going “GRR! CHLOE STAN ANGRY BECAUSE RICH GIRL IS EVIL IN FLASHBACK!”. It's more along the lines of “Really? We're really doing this?”. While I'm glad that after Chloe's betrayal at the end of Season 3, the show is finally considering the idea of making her more than just comic relief as a villain, it feels like a case of too little, too late.

After so many years of making Chloe out to be harmless unless she screams her daddy's name, now you're treating her like a serious threat who traumatized Marinette for life? Chloe is the cause of Marinette's trauma? This is like if the person who killed Bruce Wayne's parents turned out to be a joke character like Egghead or Crazy Quilt. Just because a serious villain does something important to the story, it doesn't automatically make their prior unfunny antics go away.

But my main gripe with the portrayal of Chloe here is that this flashback fails to do something that still hasn't been done in almost five seasons and eight years: Explain just why Chloe hates Marinette so much. Chloe is unusually cruel here, and doesn't even have a reason to torture Marinette like this. Usually, Marinette gets in the way of what she wants, but here? Marinette doesn't do anything to warrant this level of dedication. You would think for a flashback sequence focusing on her and Marinette's history, they would actually explain why Chloe likes to single out Marinette, but they don't. The writers would rather take time out of the episode to remind the audience of why Chloe is the way she is, and why it isn't acceptable, than clarify what Chloe's deal with Marinette is.

Rose: She’s this way because her mother left her when she was young.

Mylene: So did mine, and you don't see me having fun bullying Marinette.

Gee, I wonder if Astruc himself had a part in writing that exchange or not.

If you're willing to acknowledge previous episodes while also discussing how poorly Chloe treats Marinette, it would help if you finally did something to inform the audience about why Chloe likes to torture Marinette in the first place. Did Marinette show Chloe up at a fashion show? Did Marinette impress Chloe's dad one time? Did Marinette just spill coffee on Chloe's shoes? I will take literally anything, no matter how stupid the explanation is, over getting nothing after eight years.

It's also pretty rich that that scene was trying to say that what happened to Chloe doesn't justify her actions when not only do we never get a scene like that pointing out how creepy Marinette obsesing over Adrien was, but later in the episode, Marinette specifically pins all the blame on Chloe in one line.

Marinette: Adrien! I know what's wrong with me! It's not my fault, and it's not your fault, either! It's all Chloe's fault!

So remember kids, just because bad things happen to you, it doesn't excuse your unflattering actions... except when it does, and in that case, it's all the fault of the person who wronged you in the first place.

#2: The Portrayal of Kim

I'll admit, I'm not really the biggest fan of Kim as a character. I don't hate him, but it feels like after Season 2, he just became that guy who really loves to swim, where even characters like Max, Marc, and Nathaniel had more depth to them. This episode however? Yeah, I couldn't stand Kim here.

Just like with Chloe, Kim is sort of in character as the same eccentric dude who has a habit of being insensitive and accidentally upsetting people (Animan, Syren), and I need to emphasize the “sort of”. Just like Chloe, this goes against his characterization in Season 1, where he was shown to be a bully like Chloe was (Lady Wifi, Timetagger, Origins) before later episodes made him a nicer person. However, unlike Chloe, the show sort of tries to retcon Kim's rude behavior to be more in line with his Season 5 self by portraying him as more of a bully who simply isn't aware of how harmful his jokes are, but it doesn't work because of how cruel he seems, and he doesn't have the excuse of knowing how terrible he is like Chloe does.

There's also how easily he goes along with Chloe's prank when she literally insults him and Marinette to his face.

Chloe: I heard Marinette asked you to go with her to the swimming pool.

Kim: Yeah, we’re going swimming together. Cool! 'Cause I love to swim!

Chloe: That’s not why she asked you, dummy!

Kim: It's not? Then, what are we going to do? Chloe: She wants to declare her feelings for you! Kim: For me? But why?

Chloe: Probably because she's utterly ridiculous, and so are you, which makes you two perfect for each other!

Kim: Oh? You think so?

There's not being aware of how insensitive of how you are to others, and then there's not being able to comprehend basic insults. Chloe doesn't even try to give Kim a backhanded compliment or secretly insult him (“You really like swimming, don't you? Good thing you can swim better than you do in class.”). She just calls him a dummy, and Kim still falls for her trick. If you want to have Kim fall for Chloe's plan, don't make her so obviously cruel. For God's sake, you're making the class in the Lila episodes look smart by comparison.

And even after retelling the story, Kim still thinks Chloe highly, not only saying how pretty she is right in front of his girlfriend, but he still thinks the joke was the funniest thing ever. After five seasons, Kim of all people should know about how mean Chloe is, given he was literally kidnapped and brainwashed into serving her while she sided with Hawkmoth (Miracle Queen).

The worst part is that Kim has nothing to do with this story at all. You could literally replace him with any other guy, even a nameless background character with no lines, and nothing would change. Hell, I'd argue it'd be even better as having Marinette be embarrassed in front of some rando would highlight the impact it had on her self-esteem when she tries to go after someone of a higher social class. It would also better justify the spider prank if someone else pulled it because “Darkblade” established that Kim was afraid of spiders.

And if you think I'm talking about Kim after this part, believe me, there's more to this schmuck than meets the eye.

#3: The Way Everyone Just... Lets This All Happen

Look, I get what the episode is trying to go for, narratively, and realistically. Sometimes, teachers and other authority figures just don't do their jobs when someone gets bullied. Hell, I was bullied for years by someone who liked to take advantage of my anger issues, and it wasn't until my last year of middle school that the faculty finally decided to do something about it. I also get that this entire flashback wouldn't happen if the teachers realized how cruel Chloe was and got her expelled. What I don't get is how the flashback portrays anyone who was there as unwilling to do anything to help.

First off, Marinette claims that the reason none of the teachers believed her was because they're all too afraid to stand up to Chloe, since she can call her dad and cost them their jobs, but that's far from the truth. The only time we see anyone actually being afraid of Chloe was when Mr. Damocles went back on refusing to expel Socqueline before Chloe threatened to call her dad and get him fired. Other than that, while we only see Ms. Mendeleiev and Mr. Damocles in this flashback, neither of them really show any signs of being afraid of Chloe. They just go along with what she says, and they don't even try to take Marinette's side. Just like Kim, this would be more understandable if these were different characters who were never shown to be this cruel to Marinette in earlier episodes.

Second, while I can sort of buy the teachers not caring about Marinette, the fact that her classmates don't do anything is another story. We saw Mylene, Rose, and Juleka trying to help Marinette, but right after they talk to her, Chloe just orders them to go away, and it's never explained why. Marinette said the teachers were afraid of Chloe, but does that mean the students are too? Again, later episodes would establish nobody takes Chloe seriously as a bully, so this part of the flashback makes no sense. What changed to make them stop being afraid of Chloe anyway? Once again, if these were a bunch of nameless characters who were more apathetic to Marinette's situation, that would make sense, retroactively showing how much Marinette's friends care for her. Instead, it's like that scene in RWBY where the main characters watch a student being bullied by a racist classmate, and all they do is say “Wow, racism really sucks, huh? Anyway, not our problem.”

Third, you're telling me that Marinette came up with multiple excuses not to go to school even with a few weeks left in the year, and Marinette's parents didn't see anything weird about it? They didn't think that something must be making Marinette want to do anything but go to school? I don't think they were even informed about the situation at school, unless you want to be generous and say they knew Marinette got detention. You can't even make the excuse that it would work if these were different characters, but these are Marinette's parents. You know, the same characters the show portrays as loving and affectionate to their daughter? You're telling me they didn't even think to look into the situation, much less talk to Marinette about school?

The problem with all the other characters in this flashback is in order to make what happens possible, they have to be as apathetic as possible. There's being unaware of a situation or being too afraid to stand up (which is unfortunately something that happens when people bullied sometimes), and then there's just not caring about the bully victim at all. It's ironic how even though a big part of the flashback was to show how awful Chloe was, it unintentionally make everyone else in Marinette's life seem just as cruel to let her suffer like that.

But I know what you're thinking. “What about Socqueline? She was there to help Marinette, so why didn't you mention her?” Well...

#4: Where the Hell Has Socqueline Been All This Time?

Like I mentioned in my “Jubilation” review, Socqueline is yet another unnecessary addition to the already overcrowded cast of characters in this show, and it seemed like this episode was meant to justify her inclusion, but it only raised more questions.

Just to remind you, this flashback establishes that Marinette was constantly bullied by Chloe until a nice girl in glasses stood up for her, and inspired Marinette to be more confident.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Yeah, this flashback is pretty much the same as Marinette's arc in “Origins” was, only with Socqueline in Alya's place. We get it, writers, Season 1 was good. Constantly repeating stuff like what happened in “Mr. Pigeon 72” isn't going to win you any favors.

This really highlights how pointless of a character Socqueline is, as despite supposedly being a really important person in Marinette's life, Marinette herself never thought to tell anyone about her, and judging from how Marinette described her to Tikki in “Jubilation”, I don't think she even stayed in contact with Socqueline after she was expelled. It's not like left Paris afterwards. All we know is that she went to another school and got a job at a local arts and crafts store, so why did Marinette just stop talking with her? Even with Felix and Zoe, they had the excuse of being in different countries, but you can't say that with Socqueline.

Also, this was something I just realized, but if Mr. Damocles got her expelled, why the hell did Socqueline treat him like he was any other customer at her job, much less compliment him as a principal?

#5: The Handling of Trauma in General, and How This Impacts Marinette as a Character

Like pretty much every other serious issue it tries to tackle, Miraculous Ladybug has always had a poor understanding of mental health. When it comes to portraying characters who struggle with some form of grief of trauma, like Adrien, Felix, Chloe, Zoe, and even Marinette, the responses usually amount to some variation of “Grow a pair and get over it, you big baby!”.

With Felix, Chloe, and Marinette, even if their actions are partially motivated as a response to either losing a loved one, trying to emulate their neglectful parent, or as a defense mechanism to avoid repeating an already traumatic experience, they're all proven to be in the wrong, and it's not to teach a lesson about alternative coping mechanisms or support systems. The show just says that they're automatically wrong for what they do, what causes them to act the way they do is never acknowledged, and instead, we're supposed to just act like they're being jerks for no reason. Compare this to Adrien and Zoe, who both had rough lives losing their mother at a young age or living with an abusive mother respectively, and rather than go into detail how it affected them or how they managed to become decent human beings in spite of it, the show just says that they're nice people, so people like Felix, Chloe, and Marinette have no reason to be mean to others.

This is honestly why I feel like this episode's depiction of mental health and dealing with trauma falls flat. In case you didn't know, I asked my followers who had to deal with some form of trauma to share their experiences and how it compared to what Marinette went through in the episode. For the most part, the common consensus seems to be that while the symptoms of Marinette's trauma and her reactions to it are very believable, a lot of it is contradicted by previous episodes, and it seems like it was only there to do a story about dealing with trauma.

So many episodes across Seasons 1 through 4 show Marinette dealing with Kim and Chloe without really any issue, and she showed no problem with starting relationships with Luka and Cat Noir, to say nothing about Nathaniel's brief crush on her in “The Evillustrator”. If Marinette was so traumatized by this prank, why did she want to go swimming in episodes like “Gorizilla” and “Mr. Pigeon 72”? Why did she bother to help Kim confess to Chloe in “Dark Cupid”? Why did she team up with Chloe to sabotage Kagami in “Animaestro”? Why did she suggest Chloe could change for the better throughout Seasons 2 and 3? Why did she continue to let Chloe and Kim use the Bee and Monkey Miraculous respectively, even after they got them from outside sources? This flashback is desperately trying to tie previous events of the series together together, but it only works if you ignore all the times Marinette has interacted with Kim and Chloe without having a panic attack.

Then there's how the flashback tries to connect this to Marinette memorizing all of Adrien's schedule to make sure he won't hurt her, an obvious attempt to rebuff one of the biggest criticisms of her as a character. Here's why it doesn't work.

First off, the setup doesn't work because while Marinette vows to do a better job getting to know the next person she falls in love with and how, in her words mind you, “He isn't friends with Chloe”. Putting aside the kindness he's shown her in “Origins”, she kind of failed to really consider her choice to pursue him if he stayed friends with Chloe if we're going to believe Chloe traumatized Marinette so much.

It also doesn't really explain the more predatory actions Marinette has taken whenever another girl tries to get close to Adrien (The Bubbler, Volpina, Animaestro, Oni-Chan, Heart Hunter), or how she tries to rig up situations to get closer to him (The Gamer, Gigantitan, Backwarder, Party Crasher, Felix, Psycomedian, Glaciator 2, Simpleman). And that's not even getting into how obsessive she is with him in other areas, like repeatedly playing a commercial he was in (Gorizilla), making a bunch of presents for him in advance (Christmaster), trying to kiss a wax statue of him (The Puppeteer 2), sniffing his pillow (Cat Blanc), or all the other times she's creepily obsessed over him.

But of course, you've probably noticed that I've forgotten to mention one key thing about what this flashback means: You know how Marinette tends to act nervously and stumbles a lot around Adrien when she isn't meticulously documenting his schedule? Yeah, they were essentially panic attacks brought on by her PTSD, and the episode tries to act like Kim did to her wasn't funny afterwards. Here's the problem with this.

YOU MADE MARINETTE'S TRAUMA YOUR PRIMARY SOURCE OF COMEDY FOR THE PAST FIVE FUCKING SEASONS!

You do NOT have the right to act like what happened to Marinette was bad when you were constantly playing her anxiety up for laughs for almost EIGHT YEARS at this point!

In addition to all the other examples I mentioned, we had episodes like “Psycomedian”, which confirmed that the same behavior that this episode is trying to say is connected to her trauma was hilarious to Adrien, as well as “Backwarder”, which thrived on playing up Marinette's anxiety towards Adrien and was said to be one of the funniest episodes of the show to work on by Astruc himself.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

#6: Why This Flashback Is Ultimately Pointless

But above all, the biggest problem I have with this flashback is because of how pointless it is. It's trying to better go into detail about why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, but did we really need to do that?

This flashback doesn't really reveal anything that we didn't know already. We know Marinette was bullied by Chloe, we know she was a lot more meek and needed others to stand up for her, and we definitely know that we're not supposed to like Chloe. Adding to my earlier point, if we actually got more insight into the origin of Chloe's obsession with Marinette, that would have at least made this flashback important to watch, but once again, despite being a flashback episode, we learn nothing about the characters that we don't already know.

But this flashback is also meant to explain why Marinette is so hesitant to embrace her new relationship with Adrien when we already got a reason for that last season. The first half of the season has made a big deal about how much her feelings for Adrien cost her the Miraculous, so why not focus on that? This flashback just feels like it's here to give more Marinette angst instead of focusing on the things they've already established. And that's not even getting into what she saw during “Cat Blanc”.

Why couldn't we just have a story about Marinette's own insecurities causing her to doubt she can make her relationship with Adrien work, seeing how poorly things ended with Luka? Have her worry that something could go wrong as a result of her need to overcompensate, or worry that Adrien could betray her. That way, you could have Adrien supporting Marinette in a way that reflects their partnership as Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively.

But no. Instead we have this flashback that's taken me about ten pages to fully dissect. And the worst part is that I still have the rest of the episode to talk about. God help me...

So after Adrien and Ondine explain how this prank could have done a lot of damage to Marinette's psyche, Kim decides to find Marinette, and apologize for being so—Ah, I'm just messing with you guys. After all, that would actually make Kim likable. So what does he say instead?

Kim: Come on! Loosen up, you guys! It's like you can't even speak your mind these days.

Ondine: That doesn't give you permission to hurt other people!

Kim: Whatever! I'm the way I am and I'm fine that way! It's not my fault you guys have no sense of humor!

Yep, rather than having Kim realize the error of his ways and maybe be akumatized out of guilt, Kim just whines about how everyone else is just a humorless pansy these days. The writers pretty much made Kim's motivation boil down to “It's just a prank, bro!”. Even Monarch seems to go along with this, as he refers to Kim as “A free spirit feeling unjustly rejected”, when this was right after he called Chloe the prettiest girl in front of his own girlfriend's face. So Monarch sends his Akuma to Kim's goggles, akumatizing him into Dark Humor. Yes, that's really the name they're going with.

Dark Humor is a pretty forgettable recolor of Dark Cupid. Other than inverting the red and black color scheme and giving him a targeting scope on his right eye, there's not much else to say other than the incredibly on the nose name they gave him. His powers are sort of like Dark Cupid's, only now, instead of turning people heartless, they now share his soulless brand of “humor”. At least, I think it is. His Alliance power is the Monkey Miraculous's Uproar, but it's not really clarified if he's only using Uproar arrows or not, judging from the use of the rubber ducky that we've seen King Monkey use before.

Marinette and Adrien transform into Ladybug and Cat Noir respectively, but once they meet up, we get the most controversial part of the episode that isn't connected to the flashback scene: Cat Noir gives Dark Humor the beatdown of his life and is about to Cataclysm him, for pulling a bad prank on Marinette a year ago. Yeah, a lot of people have pointed out that Adrien felt a lot of remorse for Cataclysming Monarch earlier in this season, yet here, Cat Noir looks like someone told him that Kim just shot the Pope. For God's sake, writers, you're five seasons in! How hard is it to determine whether or not you want your hero to be okay with killing people or not?

And of course, this bites him in the ass, as Dark Humor stabs Cat Noir with an arrow, not only changing his Cataclysm into something that creates a bunch of balls from his hand, but also making him just as insane as the rest of Dark Humor's victims. You know, I'm this close to starting a “Remember Season 1” counter, because this is just glorified fanservice.

Ladybug tries to summon her Lucky Charm, but is stopped by Dark Humor, so Ladybug transforms back into Marinette, transforms into Ladybug again, and summons her Lucky Charm for real this time, getting... a toilet. Of course, the only way to combat Dark Humor's bad jokes is by using even worse jokes! Genius! Ladybug places the toilet over Dark Humor's head and breaks it along with the goggles, freeing the Akuma.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, gives Kim a useless Magical Charm, and Cat Noir apologizes for murdering Kim by saying his emotions got the better of him, which is like saying OJ Simpson and his wife had a minor disagreement.

Kim apologizes to Marinette for traumatizing her, and I guess that's enough for Ondine to forgive him for saying another girl is prettier than her.

After Marinette sort of explains what happened to Adrien, he goes over to tell Chloe to apologize, and we get... this scene.

Adrien: I know about everything that you did to Marinette last year, Chloe. You're going to go and apologize to her and prove to everyone that you can change. I'm sure she'll forgive you.

Chloe: (laughs) Forgive me? What do I care about her forgiveness? I couldn't care less about Dupain-Cheng's feelings! She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment. Why bother having power if you can’t use it against those who don’t have any? You’re the one who’s getting things wrong, with your baker girl! You’re a prince! You belong with me, the princess! You’re in this world to shine! To make fun of all the losers who are only good enough to be used as doormats!

Adrien: You're nothing like a princess, Chloe. I supported you. I gave you multiple chances to become a better person. Everyone reached out to you, including Ladybug and Cat Noir when they gave you the Miraculous of the Bee again. But all you ever think about is yourself.

Chloe: And what else IS there to think about? Losers and nobodies? The little bees? The planet?

Adrien: We will never be friends again, Chloe. You and I are done.

Chloe: Traitor.

Okay, first off, “She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment.”? That's the line you're going with? She sounds like a dark lord in an RPG game. How is this the closest thing we ever get to an explanation to why Chloe hates Marinette so much?

Second, ignoring the fact that we already had Chloe end her friendship with Adrien last season (Queen Banana), it's pretty weird that this is the breaking point in their friendship. Adrien doesn't mention all the other times she's bullied people or when she sided with Hawkmoth even when he brought up her time as Queen Bee. He saw her being mean to so many people over five seasons, yet only when he learns Chloe did something to his girlfriend that he decides to finally confront her. If we at least got a line where Adrien acknowledged that he essentially enabled Chloe for so long by thinking she could change, that would have at least sort of worked. Instead, he makes it about how she refused to change herself. Dude, you had the chance to stand up to her for years, and you even did so in one episode before you went back on it (Despair Bear). You have nobody to blame but yourself.

Finally, Chloe is pretty out of character here. She's way too calm about ending her friendship with Adrien compared to what happened in “Despair Bear” and “Queen Banana”. You'd think if the writers wanted this to be a big moment of catharsis for the audience, Chloe would at least beg Adrien to stay a little. But no, Chloe brushes it off when it could easily justify her getting worse in later episodes, and even Adrien doesn't even consider how much he thought Chloe's friendship meant to him. Because these writers are dedicated to making sure that any identifiable trait Chloe once had is removed so you have no choice but to hate her.

But hey, at least the episode's over. What did I think of it?

Yeah, it wasn't very good.

I just... what else do you even want me to say here? I spent about ten pages going over why the flashback sequence doesn't work, I've already ranted about Cat Noir trying to kill someone with his Cataclysm in previous episodes (Hack-San, Jubilation), and I think you all know what my feelings on the portrayal of Chloe and Kim are.

I guess I can answer one question you may have: Is this episode worse than either “Penalteam” or “Queen Banana”? Eh, not really. Let me explain.

The problems with “Queen Banana” and “Penalteam” went beyond the treatment of Chloe with the way the stories were handled, with “Queen Banana” being a cheap jab at critics and TV executives while propping up their new character Zoe, and “Penalteam” being an excuse to have a soccer episode while making Cat Noir look like a buffoon right before the finale. Most of the problems with this episode have more to do with how they affect the way we see previous episodes, and why some scenes that were already unfunny are even less funny now.

With this episode, you can at least tell there was some effort being made to tell a more serious story here that went into what made Marinette tick. Yeah, it and the themes of mental health and trauma were handled about as gracefully as a ballet dancer trying to get a bear trap off their leg, but there's at least an attempt here.

Of course, this episode is still awful. The conflict with Kim not getting how much of a jerk he was after a year was dumb (as was him being even more of a jerk as Dark Humor), the fact that Marinette's trauma seemed to come and go when the plot needed it to really showed off how forced it is, and it only ends with you having more questions about Marinette and Chloe's rivalry rather than answering them.

While I'm still not a fan of this episode, and would still place it in my top five least favorites, I don't think it's the absolute worst. Although it's still the worst one so far this season from a technical standpoint.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS...KIM

It says a lot when Cat Noir actually tried to murder someone in this episode, yet not only is he not even considered for the award this episode, the person he tried to kill ends up being the bigger idiot. Not only did he easily fall for Chloe's plan when she insulted him to his face, he failed to understand how it affected Marinette for a year, and when he was told about how bad it was, he refused to take responsibility for his actions, blamed it on other people not being able to take a joke, and only gave the smallest apology after he was almost killed for his attitude. It's honestly funny how he somehow comes across as more unlikable than Chloe, the character this episode was made to make you hate even more.

[bizarrelittlemew]

the saddest line in the trailer

at first I was too distracted by Stede's plunging neckline and gold earring to fully realize why this kept nagging at me but:

"I've been a failure my whole life."

and the way he says it:

as a matter of fact, because he fully believes it – it's an integrated part of his self-image

to comfort someone else (presumably), meaning that even though it is sort of similar to Ed's "I'm not a good person" from s1e6, this scene doesn't seem to be about Stede getting comforted – he is just throwing that line in there

with the follow-up line of "It's not so bad once you get used to it," because he is used to being called a failure by everyone around him, even when he was a kid, so much that he doesn't question it

and yeah, Stede fucks up a lot and can be a bit air-headed/naive and overestimates his abilities (Stede's super high confidence vs. shit self-esteem is a central part of his character), often to the detriment of himself and everyone around him, but his biggest "crime" growing up was simply that he was different and didn't live up to the norms of masculinity. and this is what caused him to be made to feel like a failure by the world around him.

(putting the rest under the cut because I have a lot to say apparently lmao ⬇️)

idk it is just so sad that after everything that happened at the end of season 1, he still echoes his father's and the Badmintons' words when talking about himself (and his own "I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot" from s1e1). he still has a lot of growth to do.

and while it's good that he embraces his own shortcomings (and I hope he stays a loser in many ways <3) and the show reinforces that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love/that you are worthy of love just as you are, it is just. idk SO SAD to hear him say that about himself so earnestly

but do you know who doesn't let Stede self-deprecate?

THIS GUY, FROM THEIR VERY FIRST DAY TOGETHER

from telling Stede he isn't such a terrible pirate (at least he's alive), to not letting Stede call his own ideas stupid, Ed likes Stede for who he is WHILE not letting him talk bad about himself like that.

now we can't know who Stede is talking to in the scene in the trailer, just that it is someone with long dark hair:

and it could be someone else (to me it doesn't look quite like Ed's hair, but the quality/lighting makes it difficult to tell), but if it IS Ed, it has the potential for him to (once again) go against Stede's negative self-talk 😌

I am so interested to see how this scene plays out and I REALLY hope we get a scene mirroring the bathtub scene (even if it's not this one) but with the roles switched ✌️

[ssvnormandysr-1]

Something I've seen talked about a lot is some people calling Gale abusive, manipulative, or toxic for being occasionally passive aggressive or saying things that seem like guilt tripping. And you know what? Yes, he does get passive aggressive. Yes, he does have some unhealthy communication style. AND these do not necessarily mean he is abusive.

There's a difference between abusive (continued and consistent harmful behaviors to exert control over the other person) and unhealthy (sometimes being passive aggressive, communication not being completely open and free). In fact, if I had to guess, he may not even realize that his behaviors are not healthy. His passive aggressiveness or "guilt tripping", I feel, are reactions to his precious relationship with Mystra. When your attachment figure is high and mighty and do not acknowledge or respond to your needs or is very withdrawn or withhold love/praise unless you do something, people are gonna start to develop strategies to get their needs met - pouting, begging, acquiescing, etc etc - this can manifest as such unhealthy behaviors. Similar to how when children have withdrawn parents, they do all sorts of things ranging from making themselves very endearing or acting out to make them pay attention.

Do I think that this is 100% mystra's fault? Not necessarily. After all, she is a god and probably had lots of other things to care for and one mortal man among many other chosens (and who knows, potentially other lovers) likely wasn't on the highest of her priority list. But that doesn't mean the damage wasn't done. And I still believe that as a god Mystra should've known better than to be involved with a mortal romantically with such huge power differential.

Going back to the original point - such unhealthy strategies can absolutely get better and be changed when you do have a partner who responds to your needs, who is engaged, who doesn't withhold love, because that means you no longer have to survive the way you did before. You no longer have to elicit or win love from your partner because that love is already there. Such corrective emotional experiences can lower the defenses and build up healthy communication and relationship. With Tav, and hopefully other supports in his life, I think Gale can do so, too.

idk lots of people really seem to take just one part of certain characters and make them super evil or absolutely innocent - and they're not. None of the characters are. And that's the whole point especially in Gale's romance - he is a flawed human being, he made and still makes mistakes. And those are what it means to be a mortal, actually, and all parts of him still deserve love and compassion. He can be accepted as he is and still move towards positive changes.

[amoonsong]

astro notes 🎀 .

please don’t steal 💗. —

Theory * if your Venus persona chart’s rising is the sign of any of your air houses natally, you might attract them a lot.

Ex: I have a Capricorn 11th house natally and in my VPC, I have a Capricorn rising. Deadass, the majority (and when I say the majority I mean the majority) of my friends have Capricorn Venuses. Whether they’re a Capricorn, Scorpio, Aquarius, sag, or Pisces sun, the majority of them have it. I don’t know if this is exclusive to that specific placement, I.E. vpc so cap Venus but that’s just a little observation I’ve made.

Trust, a Uranus 1st house or conj the asc is going to be controversial and they do it on purpose. I also find that if Uranus is in a water sign and fire sign they are super serious about that Uranian expression because they feel it more personally and/or emotionally and Uranus is reactive by nature so they end up being very disruptive. Uranus 1st house natives are so authentic because they are so willing to change and after a while, it just feels so liberating and they honestly just end up not giving a fuck lol. They also tend to be really bold too no matter the mars sign because again, they end up not giving a fuck.

Uranus 1h or conjunct the asc, Uranus-inner planets may not know how to live in the moment since they’re literally the future lol. Also, since they’re so spontaneous, fast, and have then Uranian traits, they always want more and end up losing the moment searching for another.

Mini cancer mars rant:

I feel like people highly underestimate cancer mars natives. Yes, they’re passive-aggressive but they’re still very, very aggressive. theyre only passive becaause they like keeping the peace and theyre really sweet people but when you push them to that point where they cant be sweet anymore, they’re just plain rude and aggressive and will curse you out or beat you up or something. It is definitely intimidating and overwhelming because they’re incessant and will not stop pressing you until they’re satisfied. They really see red and they won’t calm down until they feel protected or content so, if they’ve been bottling something in like they usually do, it’s gonna take some time to get it all out. Also, their feelings tend to play out in their mood so eventually, it gets really hard for them to repress their feelings when it’s practically written all over their faces and they also latch onto their feelings and feel them for so long. All in all, it’s very evident they’re the fall of mars LMAO and that incompetence normally causes them to act out of character. They act emotionally people!!!

air mars people are really annoying imo, Gemini mars are erratic and cannot stfu not to mention they’re all bark and no bite, like… Aquarius mars tend to be really indifferent which is weird because I find them to be the most humanitarian out of all aqua placements besides asc. libra mars r just annoying istg they are literally them, “where my hug at,” ass bitches. They’ll be bold when flirting but pussy when they gotta actually express anger, now they wanna play the blame game and play the victim like… (yall aren’t actually annoying I love you guys, especially libra mars 😋🤭😏)

A lot of Leo moons tend to be weirdos which are actually so cute to me considering the stigmas behind Leos and the way they’re portrayed.

Leo as the moon literally sucks because its ruling planet is the sun and it illuminates your emotions but Id say gemini moons are on this same boat because Gemini moons HAS to talk about their feelings and whatever is on their mind.. they’re so open which is cute but its also their detriment if you ask me. Hugeeee gossipers too.

them gemini placements know how to do hair like nobody business.

7th house ruler in the 2nd house might need a partner that has similar morals to them and with good self-esteems. I feel like this is strengthened too since this is a taurus house and taurus is so hard headed like if someones valueles aren’t compatible with yours you won’t have a significant bond whatsoever. I guess its because the second house is in the first quadrant of the awareness of self but when your 7h ruler is in one of these houses (1-3) its important to know yourself because in relationships you need to get partnets that are similar to you, your beliefs, and/or expression. if you go against that youll end up too focused on the other and their awarenesses and you often start to forget about your self.

i feel like aries second house people can either have that ‘who cares’ mentality about their morals, possessions, skills, money, etc, or they can be super hard-headed, strict, dominant, and domineering about these topics. often times than not though, this person will need to develop a very arian sense of self and self esteem. solid, unapologetic, free…

Your mercury sign is so important because its literally your brain and thoughts, it can be the way you react, express, talk, think, go about life, like your body needs your brain to function and the sign your mercury is in can explain a lot! No matter if youre a taurus sun, cancer moon, taurus rising, if you have an Aries Mercury, that Aries mercury will make that individuals mind so fast paced which could maybe make them pace to alleviate the storm thats occurring up there. They’ll be sooo much more outspoken and bold, they will rarely think twice or it would be hard to because they’re so used to seeing and reacting on the spot.

Venus in the first house can give you beauty but I feel like often times than not, venus will bring symmetry to your face literally or like your features fit your face perfectly. also, I feel that venus 1h house individuals are so beautiful because they take care of themselves and their appearence.

if you wanna call cancer and pisces mars passive aggressive and wimpy or wtv, go head and add scorpio mars with them too. scorpios mars’ are so sneaky and secretive until they can’t be anymore and when they get caught red-handed or called out they wanna act like the big bad wolf…🐱

the fourth house isnt the most private house, the 12h is. the fourth house open up to whom you’re comfortable with, who knows you for you so friends, family, and yourself. its how you can act when youre alone. the 8th house opens up to whom youre intimate with, so youre lover.. and the 12 house is the most private because you cant access this house unless you’re actively trying to, it’s a spiritual house so when you become more spiritual, you embody that energy more but still, no one sees it until you can grasp that energy and choose to embody it.

taurus’ suns usually have really good egos and they’re have really good standards lolz. unless poorly aspected, that’s an entirely different story.

[outivv]

Hello! Can I make a request, please? An MC who behaves like Jack Sparrow. For dorm leaders 👀✨

The last request was not sent anonymously, so if it doesn't bother you, please delete it. It was awkward :D

– anon🦐

Synopsis: Jack sparrow like reader!

Warnings: not proofread

Characters: dorm leaders (ace, Leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, and malleus)

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello!! This genuinely is such a fun request Omg Omg. I was like eying this for a while, cause I couldn’t get to it until now which I do apologize for :’). Anyways! Hope you enjoy, and have a great rest of your day <3!

— Riddle —

You make him mad. You’re so unpredictable, and all over the place and he can’t like… pin you down metaphorically.

You also get ace and deuce into trouble too. You’re either dragging them down with you, or make a quick last minute escape, and riddle can’t manage to give you a proper earful.

He thinks your mannerisms, and way of thinking is so… hard. You’re so carefree even if you get in trouble over 100 times, how exactly can you just… be so casual???

— Leona —

He can’t quite figure out if he likes you or not. You’re similar to him, in the way that, you skip class because you just don’t really care. But the fact that you’re even similar to him posses him off.

He probably at first thought you were actually stupid when he first met you, but the when you actually did something super smart, and actually admirable he fucking collapsed. JEGEUR HE WAS LIKE “no.” IN DISBELIEF

Leona could probably only hang out with you in small dosages. He probably gets easily overwhelmed by you, and just doesn’t wanna deal with that HVSJEHE.

— Azul —

M. Pirate. (Derogatory). M. Drunkard. (Derogatory).

If you can’t tell azul doesn’t like you very much. Mostly because you’re so unpredictable. He can’t get you to sign a deal whatsoever, no matter how tempting he makes it????

Jade and Floyd like you and that actually makes him so mad JEGEIEJ. I mean who can blame them, your pirate stories (that are mostly over exaggerated) are cool. And jade and Floyd find you interesting, which, grated, is hard to do.

You’ve probably been banned from mostro lounge three times over.

— Kalim —

“Wow a real pirate! Oh my god that’s so cool!” He says as he literally has a treasure room, with a magic carpet in it. >:T

He is so interested in everything you have to say he absolutely adores you, and wants to hear every one of your stories.

You probably both get into a lot of trouble and sneak around campus a lot. You give jamil a absolute headache every time you step foot in the scarabia dorm.

— Vil —

“Ew.”

That’s it.

Vil probably saw you went “ew dirty pirate.” And shooed you out of the dorm JEVJEHE. He’s super mad that epel likes you, so he probably prohibits you from stepping in the dorm LMAO.

Teaches you about hair care, skin care, and overall care HEGEH. Then after all that sure you can step within 20ft of the dorm.

— Idia —

Stays. Clear. Of. You. At. All. Costs.

He cannot, and I mean cannot be around you. Mostly because again, you’re insanely unpredictable, and Idia can’t figure out your thinking pattern AND THAT FREAKS HIM OUT

Any time you need to talk to Idia you are forced to go through ortho. Unless you sneak into ignihyde when ortho isn’t there, and break into Idia’s room. Which. We all know you’re not above doing that.

— Malleus —

You have only been allowed to see malleus like five times because of Sebek. And his stupid. Guard. Knight. Whatever. (Kidding ofc I love Sebek)

Malleus was probably very interested in you and your behavior from the moment he heard of you, and wants to learn more about you.

However HE CANT FIND A TIME TO DO THAT. Malleus sneaking out arc >:). He’s becoming a rebellious teenager for you, you should be proud <3

[ineffectualdemon]

Talking to my kid about ORV (they have only read the webtoon so far and I am vibrating with the need for them to read the webnovel) and I started thinking about gender

And I think that it's really interesting that Kim Dokja just didn't pick up Jang Hayoung being a woman but also didn't have a problem with it really

Like yeah he kinda cluelessly goes "this is a boy" several times because that's how he interpreted her character but once multiple people reply "idk what you're talking about. that's clearly a girl" he's on board

But similarly he also never thinks about why Yoo Joonghyuk is able to learn a martial technique meant only for women. He accepts that he can and doesn't examine it too closely and then is denied access to that part and that part only of Yoo Joonghyuk's story

And I was talking about what it means that Kim Dokja is comfortable with people assigned male at birth being aligned in some way with femininity and womanhood when my kid randomly remarked on how he (Kim Dokja) has a good outfit

And that made me remember who else wears that outfit

Han Sooyoung is very similar to Kim Dokja in a lot of ways. As reader and writer they mirror each other in more ways than one

I don't have anything profound to say about it but I just think Kim Dokja's relationship to Gender is really interesting and it's super interesting how the Han Sooyoung who is the Author reflects him and writes gender ambiguity into Yoo Joonghyuk and to a degree has it herself (her doubles can and do change gender) and Kim Dokja as a reader either just doesn't notice or chooses not to

I just think thats really interesting

[hijackalx]

GALE SFW HEADCANONS:

finally we got our lover boy here. its not a secret that he like gets super easily attached. i kind of hate that they patched that out bcz it fit his character so much. but yeah in my mind its canon he gets attached suppperrr easily also kind of the type of guy to love bomb tav. not in the manipulative way tho like he genuinely thinks hes in love.

he gives everything he has in relationships too like tav IS his everything. he can be pretty clingy but thats just cuz he loves them so much ❤️ ok yandere vibes hold on. not really but imagine.

the type of dude to draw pictures of him and tav holding hands in his diary (they are not drawn good) also definitely talks to himself a lot, or maybe to his cat (sometimes abt tav)

hands down the funniest mf at camp like hes the type thats just naturally funny he doesnt even try to be. its hard to take him serious sometimes bcz of it😭😭 he gets mad af about it too. like his funnyness is a blight on his existence he just wants to be taken seriously. also feel like he has the worst luck too like fucked up things always happen to him and thats also hilarious LMAO constantly has the camp in stitches

he has bad spatial awareness so hes always triggering traps and tav gets so mad 😹😹😹

love language:

giving= words of affirmation and quality time

always wants to be with tav. also loves to compliment them but he does it in his corny ass wizard way lol like in the most extra way possible. he cant just say "ur eyes look beautiful today" hes got to say some shit like "ur viewing orbs are looking most ravishing this eventide". i bet he would write poetry abt tav but he wouldnt give it to them bcz hes lowkey embarrassed 😔 like insecure in his ability not embarrassed by the action itself. he just wants to do tav justice and he doesnt think he can.

receiving= quality time

as long as tav wants to be with him too hes happy. he worries abt being too clingy so sometimes he'll distance himself and if tav closes that distance on their own itll make him so happy. like thats the best thing ever to him. to have somebody that wants to be in his presence and listen to him ramble.

i feel like gale is similar in height to astarion so like 5'11/6' hes probably closer to 5'11. like that is the most gale height to me. also hes a little thicker with some muscle. hes def got a lil belly 🤭❤️ his pecs are rlly smthng too like thats where most of his muscle goes. those look heavy let me carry them for u king 🤲🏻😼

GALE NSFW HEADCANONS:

A FREAKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAN IS A FREAK. WHAT was that shit in the sky ?????? THE FUCK ??? like he is THE MOST kinky mf here he will do almost anything. ONLY with ppl hes comfortable with tho. otherwise hes vanilla af. i honestly feel like hes mostly submissive tho just cuz hes chill like that. equally gives and receives. like straight up tav is his BABY he will do ANYTHING for them. probably introduced to most of his kinks thru tav (and mystra....... unfortunately.....)

loves to give head. like dear god. will beg tav to let him for real. hes very good at it too

incorporates sooo much magic. will make fake!gale fuck tav so he can watch. will use hot and cold magic and all that. electricity. the thunder stuff or whatever its called. literally anything u can think of to spice it up. he has thought of it. will also do freaky shit like using magic to mess with tav in public if u know what i mean

doesnt have a high body count i lowkey feel like mystra was his first. and he hasnt smashed anybody since. until tav.

exhibitionist AND humiliation kink. so these work hand in hand bcz like i said he doesnt do kinky shit with ppl hes not comfortable with so doing it where strangers might see is ultimate humiliation for him. but also likes to humiliate tav with it too.

will say a lot of nasty shit. this i feel he doesnt go super overboard with but its nasty compared to how he usually is. mostly when hes begging.

im gonna say gale has a solid 5 on him. and hes got hair i feel like most of the companions do but it works rlly good on gale lol. like hes got a happy trail and everything 🤤 nice hairy armpits too so u know hes got that manly ass MUSKK 💦💦💦 anyway i think his pp is pretty straight. like a wand lol. its a pretty normal pp.

aftercare with gale is the best yo like he makes sure tav is taken care of first and then cleans up on his own unless tav offers which he usually tells them to rest lol. hes just so sweet.

[dominophile]

💙🍃Branch Dating Headcanons🍃💙

Character: Branch

Warnings: small talk of abandonment issues, nothing major

Nsfw?: none

This is for a friend. The reason I ever actually got into Trolls was because she told me all about how hot Branch was.

I also very much want to headcanon this guy I have so many thoughts.

Note: My headcanons will always include my species headcanons too, which includes but isn't limited to different types of tails, claws, hair, etc.

Now for the man of the hour, Branch!

Branch is the perfect man

I mean kind of

From the first day you started dating, this man has been super protective of you

He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, even if you're definitely safe already, this guy is taking zero chances

Probably at some point tried to keep you in his bunker for "precautionary reasons"

Look it's the thought that counts, he loves you

Now let's not forget the abandonment issues

He's got a genuine fear that people he loves will all leave him, one way or another

Reassure him you're not going anywhere, please, he needs it

You don't have to be with him 24/7 of course

He understands more than anyone the need to be alone or do your own thing, trust me

If you want to hang out with other Trolls, I doubt he would mind

He doesn't like groups much, but he might appreciate the sentiment of you inviting him regardless

Say "I love you"

You might just have to he the first to do so

He loves you so fucking much, but "What if that scares them away??"

Just tell him how much you love him every so often, it helps

On a similar note, communicate!

Communicate how you feel, and encourage him to do the same

Keeping secrets and emotions from him could easily come back to bite you

Even if you don't have bad intentions, he might assume you do

It's not that he doesn't trust you, he just assumes the worst sometimes

That said, he's not sure how to share his own emotions sometimes either

This guy has spent a long time avoiding every other living being and doesn't often understand the difference between talking to himself, and talking to you

Social cues too, don't assume he knows what you're feeling, because as much as he tries with you all his new friends, he still gets it wrong a lot

Work with him, you'll get there

Branch enjoys spending time with you, but he's wary about physical touch

Ever met someone who hates being touched but is also touched starved? That's Branch!

If he wants physical affection or something of the sort, he'll come to you

You can also ask him. He loves and cares about you and even if it's not his favorite, if it makes you happy he'll allow it

He will absolutely protectively wrap his tail around you though if you guys are sitting next to each other

Who cares if you're all alone? Feel safe damn it

You're the only person who can do that, he knows you won't hurt him

If you also dislike physical affection, you two can just vibe in each other's company

Branch overworks himself sometimes, and normally would fight through exhaustion, but if you're around, he wouldn't mind a quick nap

You'll watch his back won't you?

He wouldn't mind if you fell asleep with him too

All in all though, he's a good boyfriend

He's thoughtful

He's caring

He's protective

And he really really loves you so much

He thinks you make him a better person

Like he was incomplete before you came around

"Meeting you was like finding the last missing piece of a puzzle."

Man that's cheesy. But sweet.

Oh maybe that was just a set up to get you to do a puzzle with him

Eh still sweet

I also think he would appreciate if you made him coffee in the mornings sometimes

If you're a coffee person, have some too!

Tea person? Or anything else? He'll stock up on what you like once he realizes you like it

He sleeps in late sometimes though, if you're a morning person you're fending for yourself with drinks

Other Trolls are happy seeing you with him during the day also

Especially Poppy

"So happy to see you branching out!!"

Bunker Bucket List: Learn to love again

Check ✅

[royal-they]

I feel like a lot of people don’t realize how important it is for people to see ships like lumity and huntlow coming from a brand like disney that’s known for having ships that really is known to enforce a lot of beauty standards on to kids. 

lumity is definitely not “on brand” with disney but i feel like so much of the appeal in it comes from that fact. luz doesn’t fit disneys standards for an attractive girl at all. (she is very pretty tho don’t get me wrong) whereas amity is definitely seen by a lot of fans to be very attractive and i think that makes the ship even more powerful. luz doesn’t fall for amity first, amity falls for luz. 

i don’t think i can even explain how much this meant to me as a poc. like omg the hot gay witch that everyone thinks is super hot falls for the dorky brown girl??? that alone makes me love the ship 1000x more. its amazing that kids get to grow up with a ship like that that really flips tropes and cliches and is still so fun and cute to watch. it really teaches young bisexuals and pocs that; hey! you can totally find a super loving healthy relationship where the other person respects you :) ive mentioned in the past that i used to feel really self conscious of my lips but luz helped my overcome that. it’s a small but very important thing to me. i also used to always be worried about how partners would take me being bi, again luz was so helpful in overcoming that fear. 

huntlow is another ship that i feel is incredibly important for reasons similar to lumity. a lot of people are probably going to hate me for saying that lmao but idk i still think it’s very likely to become canon. again like lumity the character the fandom finds to be the most attractive falls first

some people say that willow fell first but I feel like given the fact that hunters been the only one who blushes a lot more people are gonna go “oh hunter likes willow” rather than “willow likes hunter” (i mean i think willow likes hunter but it’s not as obvious so im not gonna talk about that aspect of this ship and it’s not relevant to the point im trying to get across.) 

a lot of people have also said that huntlow parallels lumity in how lot in how their interactions are written and i really agree with that. hunter has from the minute his face was revealed always been seen as attractive by the fandom. i feel like people only really started saying the same about willow when hunter started showing signs of having a crush on her. 

willow like luz isn’t the conventionally attractive disney princess type. she’s larger, east asian, and more quiet. still through hunters perspective we’re able to see these aspects of her along with how she can still be confident and an incredibly powerful witch. 

just like with lumity the show allows people to stop and be like huh luz is actually really pretty and super cute or huh willow is actually really gorgeous and talented. we’re able to see these characters from the perspective of the people who are in love with them. 

at first amity and hunter both don’t really understand why willow and luz are the way they are. hunter and amity have been raised with the perspective of having to be better than everyone all the time so when they meet luz and willow - two very powerful witches - they dont understand why they’re approaching things with the perspective they have. but slowly they’re able to see a different side of them which in turn allows the viewer to also understand luz and willow more. 

we see hunter and amity have this moment of realization; huh it’s actually okay to let people see a more friendly side of myself that’s more open with people and that doesn’t take anything away from how powerful i have the capability of being. 

I think that just the fact alone that luz is able bring out the best side of amity and the fact that willow is able to bring out the best side of hunter is really cute and admirable. these two standoffish teens with self hatred issues are just are suddenly super soft around these two super sweet cute girls. idk i just really like these two ships. 

[ijwrsmff]

MC showing the brothers their favorite anime character and they are exactly like them! How do they feel? Do they bring it up? Or not say anything? (If you don’t want to do all 7, could you do Lucifer, Levi, Asmo, and Beel? :3)

This was so fun XD I had to write for all 7, simply because I wanted to. And I had a pretty good idea for all of them, so it wasn't too much at all to let the idea take me away ^~^

Ended up being pretty long, but I put it in headcanon format, even though a lot of bullets were several sentences. I tried.

@ibby-miyoshi-nerd

Word Count: 1,677

Lucifer:

“He’s so cool! He’s the oldest brother, and he has a lot of weight on his shoulders, and even though he’s sweet on the inside he acts really tough! And rightfully so, he is actually really tough.” You rambled to Lucifer about your favorite anime character. 

“So…he’s like…” Lucifer wanted to say “Like me” but that would mean admitting he was soft on the inside. He wouldn’t dare say that, especially since some of his brothers were home. “A responsible big brother.” 

As you went on and on about the character, he simply smiled softly and nodded to show he was listening

You were warming his heart, in a way that hadn’t been done for centuries…maybe even ever

He asked a couple questions, here and there, but he really did just love to hear you talk

“So what do you think about him?” You asked with beaming eyes

Lucifer hesitated a few moments while he gathered the words, “He seems like a smart man. Brave, and powerful.” 

“Yeah…he is.” Your words were quiet as you gazed into Lucifer’s eyes

You know…your character and Lucifer were pretty similar, huh?

Mammon:

“Mammon! Pleeeeeease let me tell you about this character!” You whined and followed him as he was practically running away from you

His face was red, because you’re puppy eyes were was too cute to look into for long

But after a few minutes he stopped and you bumped into him “Fine! Just make it quick, I’ve got a date with Goldie!” He waved the card in the air, and had a mischievous look in his eyes

“Okay so! He loves money, but he loves his family and the person he loves even more! He won’t say it, but he’s one of the kindest men in the world! He does kind of get caught up in himself, but he can be humble when the time comes!” You showed him the picture of the character as you spoke, and scrolled through a few

Huh…blond hair, somewhat tall, got a glimmer in his eyes…

“He seems okay. Kind of stupid though.” Mammon did not at all put the pieces together, and ended up unintentionally slamming himself

To anyone else, it was clear you were actually talking about Mammon, and you hoped he’d realize but he didn’t

It’s alright though! Next time you’ll make it absolutely obvious

Levi:

All you had to do to spend time with Levi was say “I wanna talk about anime characters!” Your secret password didn’t even matter, the door was swung open and there he was with a dorky grin on his face

He expected nerdiness, but not to have you describe your favorite anime character to be so much like HIM!

“He loves anime and manga, games too! He doesn’t talk to many people, but sometimes he talks a whole lot if he’s passionate about something! Especially to the few he does care about. He has a TON of special interests, and can be super creative!” 

With each passing word his face got just a bit redder. He had a small scowl on his face after a bit though. To hear you talk so much about someone else kind of bothered him, and he still wasn’t sure if you were even talking about him or not anymore!

“Me or him…” He muttered, but you could barely hear him so he repeated it once more

“Well you, of course!” You laughed and he tried to figure out if your laughter meant you were joking or not

“No seriously, no anime character compares to you. I thought…you’d find it cute if I even liked a character just like you.” With a smile, that made him officially melt

“Then…I’LL COSPLAY HIM! THAT’S IT!” He ran to his closet and started talking about the way to “win them over” was to combine the two

He’s such a silly demon, and you loved that about him

Satan:

He never openly complained about spending time with you, and you came up with a plan! So you went to his library to set the plan in motion…

“Saaaaatan! I have a character from one of my favorite anime I wanna show you!” You burst in, and he was reading as…was expected.

He closed his book after finishing the paragraph he was on, with a bookmark in place

“Oh? Another character, go ahead, tell me about them” He would always make time for you, and seeing you so excited was just adorable

“He can get angry a lot, but it’s usually only because he cares! He’s really creative, and gets lost in his books all the time. It’s kind of like an escape for him, and learning has always been a passion for him!” 

It made Satan smirk, as he said “If you liked me you could have just said so.” He walked towards you and his smirk turned into a smile

“No need to beat around the bush, you know why?” He was close to you now, and for a second you thought he was leaning in for a kiss, but he leaned so his hot break brushed against your ear

“Because I like you too. My favorite little human…” 

Asmo:

When you walked in, super excited to see him he finished his makeup quickly and ran up to hug you

It made you blush, but you had a plan! 

“Asmo! Look at this character! He’s my favorite! He always wears pink, loves to dress up and look all around both handsome and beautiful! He can be a bit of a flirt, but nothing like how he is with the person he loves!”

The more you spoke the more he smiled, “You have excellent taste! I can see why I’m your favorite demon!” He spun you around for a second and kissed your cheeks forehead and nose

You were blushing more than before, “Okay, okay!” You laughed and “tried” to push him away, “Don’t let it get to your head!” His kisses didn’t cease for several minutes and he ended up setting you down in his makeup chair

“We should have matching makeup! It’ll show how cute we are together!” He kissed your red cheeks and smiled wide

“T-together? Really?” It was hard to contain your excitement, and he ended up laughing at just how cute you are

“Of course! I’m your favorite, it means you looooove me~! If you think after rambling about how much you like a character because he’s like me we wouldn’t get together you’d be wrong~!” He giggled and started working on your makeup, but it was hard since you kept giggling

“I don’t know about LOVE, but we can get there. Just don’t mess it up!” You joked, letting out a few giggles as you winked at him

Beel:

“Beel! Look at my favorite anime character!” You ran up to him as he worked out, which was funny timing, “He loves to work out, can eat more than anyone else, and can be really funny but also adorable! He loves his family a lot, and ends up sacrificing so much to make them happy!” 

He stopped the second you were in the room and walked up to you to look at the picture

“He’s like me…” He tilted his head and saw a ton of similarities in the characters personality and looks to him

“Y-Yeah! Isn’t he cool?” He wasn’t putting the pieces together yet, but you knew he’d get there with time

“Wanna help me with my workout?” He smiled and it made you smile too

You had a big soft spot for the tall demon, if he asked you to do anything in the world you probably would, and he’s showed on multiple occasions that he’d do the same for you

You sat on his back while he did push ups for a while, but then he fell

“B-Beel? Are you okay?” You were concerned and he spun around while lifting you while you laid on his chest, faces super close together

“Does that mean…I’m your favorite character? Uh…demon? …Person?” He was fumbling and it was really cute, honestly

A couple giggles escaped and you kissed the tip of his nose, “Yeah…you are.” 

With a hug as tight but gentle as he gave, it gave you all the answer you needed. He liked you just as much if not more, as shown by the deepening blush on his face

Belphie:

“Belphie look!” You showed him a picture of a character sleeping, “He’s my favorite! He sleeps a lot, and can be a hopeless flirt but it’s sooooo cute! He cares a lot, but has a secret dark side which can be really cool but also scary if it’s directed at you!” 

He was hanging out in his star-gazing room, and looked like he’d fall asleep at any minute

He grinned and grabbed you, pulling you down to his level while he laid on the floor and hugged you close

You blushed a bit, but it wouldn’t be the first time you cuddled with Belphie, since both of you did really like to cuddle. Especially with each other…

“Go on, tell me more.” You were facing each other, one hand holding yours as the other wrapped around your shoulders to your back

You rambled for a bit, but had a hard time making eye contact with him

“No. No more.” You told him, and because you were flustered, you leaned forward and hid your face in his neck

“Awww please? I want to fall asleep hearing all the things you love about me, that you’re projecting onto that character.” So he DID know. Maybe you were being too obvious…

After several moments, he continued with a “Fine, maybe we’ll do the opposite. I’ll tell you all the things I love about you until you fall asleep.” He rubbed your back and chuckled to himself before he did exactly that, saying each and every thing about you he loved, which was more than you thought possible

Falling asleep like this…really isn’t so bad at all

[total-drama-brainrot]

hi idk if this has been said but . pls hear my vision… lindsay and noah platonic duo. brains and the beauty. noahs the brains. lindsays the beauty. noahs like “jeez this girl is dumb i cn manipulate her or smth” but then he starts warming up to her and they like paint eachothers nails and talk about boys or somthing idk please theyre besties trust 🤞

(also noah finally gets a makeover courtesy of lindsay)

I think I might've mentioned this exact duo before, though I may be wrong about that. Regardless, I've had Many A Thought about the potential dynamic between Lindsay "reclaiming bimbo as a term of empowerment" and Noah "could be god's biggest hater but was nerfed with an inability to GAF", to the point where I have a few drafts exploring this exact concept.

Through the lens of my eyes (blurry as it would be, my prescription fairly strong), I don't think Noah would ever consider manipulating Lindsay- at least, not in a similar manner to the likes of Heather or Alejandro. He's shown in canon to be pretty adverse to the idea. Why else would he make those comments about Alejandro in "I See London..."?

Not that he doesn't think about how easy it would be to use her. But his morality wins out over his scheming thoughts pretty quickly- no one wants to be New Heather, after all.

However, he's also shown a capacity to explore sneakier options of deception and trickery; pretending to pass out during the 20k run in The Big Sleep, trying to excuse his comment about Alejandro under the guise of it "being a compliment where he's from", tricking the Sasquatch with his fake ball throwing, getting himself eliminated on purpose in Dodgebrawl. I'm trying to think of other examples In Canon off the top of my head, but I'm coming up short since most of his actual speaking lines in the show are 'zingers' and 'witty one-liners' instead of actual character moments.

And we also know, from the way he treats Owen, that he's a lot more patient and indulgent towards the... 'slower' or 'simpler' contestants. He very rarely gets mad at Owen's mistakes- see how he gently chastises him in "Super Happy Crazy Fun Time Japan" when he's disturbing their set, he'd pretty much gentle parenting him, or how he doesn't even raise his voice against Owen after being blasted by nose-shake in "I See London...". You could argue that Owen just has best friend privileges, but given the way he also talks about his dog I think Noah just has a soft spot for happy-go-lucky, heart-of-gold, kind of stupid people (and blondes). Sound familiar?

Lindsay would fall under this umbrella of 'treat with kindness' because of this, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't try to subtly nudge her in the 'right direction'- out of Heather's and/or Alejandro's influence and into his own. For her own safety, of course.

Not that I think he'd even like Lindsay at first. The two of them are opposite ends of the social spectrum; I'd take a while for Lindsay to break through his snarky exterior, but I think eventually Noah would realise that she isn't the 'two-faced airhead popular girl' he'd assumed her to be and quickly warm up to her (she's airheaded, sure, but there's nothing two-faced or nefarious/mean-spirited about Lindsay). It's a classic case of "extrovert adopts introvert".

Meanwhile, Lindsay would be dead-set on breaking Noah out of his sour little shell. Either because she overhears Owen/Izzy/Eva explaining how Noah struggles to make friends because he's "very shy" and "mixes up his insults and his compliments", thus she assumes that, hey, Noah's made fun of her a few times, maybe that was just him trying to be friendly? So she makes it her mission to reciprocate his efforts and befriend him (much to Noah's initial suspicion, and begrudging appreciation).

Or she gets the concept of a 'gay best friend' stuck in her head (an impressive feat, getting anything stuck in such a vacant space /j) probably from watching too many high school teen dramas, and sees Noah as the ideal candidate since he pretty much embodies most of the stereotypical GBF traits; a sassy twink who's defining characteristic is making snarky comments. If Noah ever caught wind of this, he'd either be mortified by the concept and avoid Lindsay like the plague until she'd eventually hunt him down, or he'd think the whole concept is too funny to pass up and gladly play the part- if only for his own amusement. (Personally I headcanon him as bi, but he's so canonically queer coded that he fits the stereotype anyway.)

Which is all just a long-winded way of me saying I think Lindsay would kindle the friendship without giving Noah much of a choice (again, extrovert adopting introvert) and Noah would just go along with it, being the lazy guy he is, and quickly grow fond/protective over her.

If he and Owen are the golden retriever and black cat dynamic, Noah and Lindsay are an afghan hound and a black cat; Noah has a lot of black cat energy (that's just a given) and you cannot tell me that Lindsay isn't an afghan hound- they're pretty, gentle-natured and renown for their low intelligence.

Plus, Lindsay's capacity for meanness (as unintentional as it may be) would be comedy gold to Noah. He'd encourage her to keep that sharp tongue and steel spine, if not for his own entertainment, then to ensure she doesn't become someone else's doormat again. In return, Lindsay would bring out a softer side of Noah, likely a result of her reminding him of his several older sisters.

She'd absolutely abuse her 'soft Noah' privileges too by roping him in on sleepovers where the two of them gossip and paint each other's nails (Noah's against the idea at first but Lindsay hits him with the puppy eyes and he folds like a lawn chair), eventually leading to Lindsay giving Noah a much needed glow up. He finds himself enjoying the pampering- though he'd never admit it- and Lindsay's just ecstatic that she has someone to use as a dress-up doll (Tyler wouldn't let her give him another makeover after Paris).