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#i just searched up the old playlist i made for them and literally just seeing the songs in it brought up so many emotions
t-t-p-d · 1 year
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x-liv25-jamieswife · 5 months
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ok I’m sorry about having you write those heartbreaking Grayson hcs, I’m gonna be honest they made me sob so hard 😭 so let’s get some happy Grayson ones (I loved that last one by the way, he’s so cute)
happy grayson head canons
of course, i have made another grayson post (some are happy, some are sad), but i'll make another one bc he's everything (it might be shorter though).also i have no idea what 'happy' head canons are so here are some that aren't sad (some funny, some happy, some embarrassing, etc). hope you like them <3. @lanterns-and-daydreams helped with some of these
he doesn't smile often, but when he does you see his little dimples (idk if this is canon but, if it isn't, i like the idea of him having dimples)
he talks to their dog, tiramisu, in a really high pitched voice
he works out religiously. he has like a schedule and everything, and he sings when he works out.
he watches my little pony as a guilty pleasure. xander knows and is using it as blackmail material.
he desperately wants a cat but doesn't want their dog to kill it.
he has an obsession with is ass. he takes pride in it being big and juicy.
he's jealous of jameson bc he's an inch taller than gray is, and he uses it against him.
he joined a yoga group without knowing it was for girls only, so now, once a week, he gossips and does yoga with these old ladies.
he loves face masks more than anything. xander and jameson have tons of pictures of him with cucumbers on his eyes and a face mask.
he doesn't like colors. if someone were to ask him what his favorite color is, he'd just say black or white or smth
he loves composing his own piano pieces and playing them to his brothers and the others.
he despises sex education with a passion. whenever he used to have those classes in school, he would blush so hard the teachers thought he was having a stroke or some shit
grayson loves poetry (ik this was mentioned in tbh, but i hc he still does it for fun to express his emotions (he didn't stop after the one year challenge))
when he was younger, he really liked snails. he used to collect some and give them a 'home' in jars he found around the mansion.
he's a sucker for matchas. he literally makes himself one every morning before he starts working. (he has a cup with cats on it that he uses every day)
he owns a human dog bed (if you don't know what it is, search it up)
he once tried to watch p*rn to see what the hype is all about, but he got so disgusted and uncomfortable he threw away his laptop.
all of the pens in his pen collection are placed side by side from smallest to biggest in his drawer.
he has the biggest walk in closet you can imagine (bigger than barbie's)
xander once bought him a skirt and dared him to go to work wearing it. pictures of it got out and his fans started calling him baby girl.
he makes playlist for his favorite book couples.
this dude cannot smirk for the life of him. he looks like a constipated sloth when he tries to.
he can do the splits perfectly.
when someone kicks him in the balls, he sounds like a dying hyena. he just wheezes for like 5 minutes straight whilst everyone just looks at him in horror. he then wobbles away.
he's a really good just dance player. he actually laughs when he plays.
grayson knows how to pole dance.
when he was younger, he was jealous that jamie had more prominent abs so he used to contour his to make them look like jamie's
when he was younger, he tried to learn how to purr. he thought it would be cool
he wanted to be like nash so bad when he was younger than he would stick a hay strand in his mouth and try to speak in a southern accent. skye was mortified.
grayson loved flower crowns. xander used to make him some and he would walk around wearing them proudly.
he wears subtle makeup sometimes (when he's in the mood) (blush, concealer, very subtle eyeliner, etc)
when he was younger, he would also try to gallop around like a horse. he would get on his hands and knees and strut around (tobias wanted to kill himself)
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ilovescaredysquirrel2 · 6 months
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Unpopular opinion: Dirty Dan shows should be banned
Okay, I felt this way for a long time but I feel like after that "Quiet on the set" documentary, we ALL know what Dirty Dan Schneider did to the children who worked on his nasty, perverted shows and movies. I'm sorry if these were your "childhood favorites" which is a bunch of bullcrap because it was part of my childhood too. My grandma and I used to think Cat was so cool on Victorious, and we liked the songs, although there were some moments that made us question why people would put such rubbish jokes in a kids show. The songs are great, but if you watch it for "nostalgia", which I can't do after knowing what Dan did, just search the songs up in the nightcore playlists on YouTube. Victorious should be BANNED along with all of Dan's sows and and movies. I think iCarly and Good Burger were the worst of all, and those of you who say otherwise, I think you don't realize how much abuse these kids went through on set and how disgusting the "humor" was in these shows. I think iCarly should get banned first, but everything that Dan Schneider worked on should be banned. and I mean EVERYTHING!
Okay, I'm 21 and hate adult humor shows... I know it's weird but I'm from the generation that had shows like Little Bear, Maggie and the Ferocious Beast, Marvin the Tap-Dancing, and ToddWorld (those last two shows you probably never heard of, look them up) and I'm not used to that Family guy/Ren & stimpy type humor. In fact, Ren & Stimpy is another show I think should be banned. John K was just like Dan Schneider in a way, he was a huge p*do too. I'm also not saying that dirty jokes in kids shows are a bad thing, subtle dirty jokes are okay, but don't take the "adult humor" too far. They take the dirty jokes way too far in those shows. I hope one day we will stop putting perverted, fetishy stuff in kids shows. Some example of subtle dirty jokes would be like the "Could you imagine teaching those kids how to ride a corndog?" thing from Marvin the tap-dancing Horse, and the "I'm trying to admire some heavenly bodies" "Wow you can see the beach through that thing? Let me look" from CatDog. Those were subtle dirty jokes for parents, but we know they were talking about something that wasn't for kids. The shows like iCarly and Ren & Stimpy just had the most perverted, fetishy crap ever that it wasn't even watchable.. especially since iCarly characters were underage. There's other Nickelodeon shows I do have problems with, but that's for a different day.
Jeanette McCurdy wasn't the only victim and just because she spoke out and wrote a book about it, doesn't mean that it only happened to her. The other girls were offered hush money. I do think Jeanette probably suffered the worst, though. I think Amanda Bynes (voice of Piper in Robots, if you don't know who she is) had it bad too. I'm sure she had fun voicing in Robots, but she obviously went through abuse on the Dirty Dan shows that she was on. Dirty Dan gave her "The Amanda show" so that she could be the star because that creepy jerk was obsessed with her. Also, Miranda Cosgrove (if you don't know who that is, she was Margot in Despicable Me and Sam in Mouse Tale) also went through abuse by Dirty Dan too. Practically everyone was abused by Dirty Dan Schnieder. He didn't just have a foot fetish either, he literally R*PED underage girls! He also held pool parties and refused to invite their parents... if that doesn't sound suspicious, I don't know what does.
I also have opinions on Disney movies I think we should cancel, however, those are old movies and I know more people have nostalgia for them, and they could be a good learning point for people to see how far we've come (like, Peter Pan and Song of the South absolutely disgust me, but they can be used as a learning thing on why we shouldn't make movies like this anymore). I'd like to see them get banned eventually though, however more people have nostalgia for those than iCarly and stuff, and I just think we need to ban iCarly (and Dan's other shows) first.
If you disagree I'd like to hear your opinion on why you disagree with me. If you agree, let me know your thoughts. I'm still mad that they removed an innocent episode of SpongeBob from Paramount plus, yet you can watch Victorious and iCarly on there. It doesn't make sense... we should start a riot or boycott for Paramount Plus or something. WE NEED TO COMPLAIN! I don't want any other kid in the world to see an episode of iCarly, Victorious, Sam & Cat, Henry Danger, All That, Kenan & Kel, Thundermans, whatever else Dan Schneider worked on! PLEASE! If you see your kids or younger sibling watching one of those shows, turn it off immediately and try to get those awful shows removed for good!
Yeah, sorry for the rant, again, if you disagree, I'd like to hear why. Try convincing me that these shows don't need to be banned.
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cruelsummerhrry · 2 years
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A/n: pls read the I KNOW PLACES masterlist!!! Hope everyone like it 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Harry finds a new favorite artist and y/n is worried.
★★★
Harry is a hopeless romantic.
He loves romance novels, romcoms, and valentines day. He falls hard.
So after meeting y/n he has fallen down a rabbit hole and has not stopped listening to love songs. He is creating fake scenarios in his head about them being together and making an entirely new playlist of songs that remind him of her. He's discovered a new artist while making said playlist, who happens to have the same first name as her. Y/n y/l/n. He particularly loves her song "Feels Like" gets him in this hyped mood.
Every day, he goes and opens up the bookshop and waits for y/n to show up. She comes in with a book and a notebook, and she reads and writes in the notebook. He doesn't know what she is writing but he is sure it's wonderful. They talk to each other like they were childhood friends. He feels comfortable and happy.
He so desperately wanting to go on a date with her.
Harry just wants to know what is going on in y/ns mind. Does she like him? Is he just a friend? He is so confused.
★★★
"Hey Harry!" Y/N walks. She hears some light music in the background, it's sounds painfully familiar she just can't put her finger on it.
"Y/n! Have you eaten anything yet cause I have some croissants I'm toasting up rn?" She nods 'no', "good. Wanted to have tea with you." His face is flushed at the omission.
"What song is this?" Still not being able to recognize this song since the volume is so low.
"It's by this artist y/n y/l/n," her face drops, "she is literally amazing. Also I think it is so cool she has the same first name as you." He looks at y/n and senses she's a bit panicked. "What's wrong, you look like you saw a ghost?"
She gets the feeling she needs to tell him the truth. Y/n knows she can trust Harry.
"Harry, can I tell you something?"
"Anything." Now he's the worried one.
Y/n looks up her own name for the first time in months. She laughs a bit seeing the first search be 'Y/n Y/l/n dead?'. She opens up a picture and is faced with her old life.
"Harry?" He whispers a small 'yes?' "Do you know what Y/n Y/l/n looks like?"
"No." He hasn't been this nervous around Y/n since he met her a few weeks ago.
She shows him the picture.
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"Holy. Fuckinv. Shit." He scrunched up his nose and rubbed his nose. "That's either you or a secret twin."
"That's me." She refuses to meet his eyes. "There is a long story about how this happened, but I don't want to talk about it. All I want to say right now is that I made music, it got out, and people like it." She takes a deep breath. "You can ask questions but I can't promise I'll answer them."
"Well..." Harry rubs his neck. "Why did you move here?"
"I was overwhelmed. I couldn't handle it. Too soft for all of it." She finally looks at him.
"I want to ask more, but I need to process this."
"That's all okay. I understand how all of this is too much."
Under his breath, so quiet he thinks she can't hear. "You're just perfect."
A/n: THANK YOU FOR READING!!!! PLS REBLOG LIKE AND COMMET!!!!! SEND IN TEQUEST ESPECIALLY FOR THIS TROPE!!! AND IM STARTING A TAGLIST JUST SUBMIT AN ASK TO JOIN.
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choking-on-dandelions · 4 months
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any favorite vocaloid producers (or songs)
Producers, definitely Deco*27 is up there. So bouncy and fun yet also so melancholic and bittersweet. A good range of feels. Great range of songs if a bit melodically similar on certain tracks. Pinnochio-P was my focus for a minute not too long ago, excellent producer! Utsu-P is really good, love the intensity in their work! Vocaloid moshpit type music for sure, has intrigued random people who don't listen to Japanese music in my day-to-day life. Wowaka was one of the very first producers I stumbled upon back in the day before his passing (r.i.p. to a legend💔) and man, those songs, all that raw emotion, the way you don't even need to understand the words to feel that hole shatter through your heart midway through and in that moment the language barrier is totally irrelevant anyways, you suddenly just get it. Giga has a smooth cool hip-hop sound (I've really only listened to them within the last couple years admittedly), same with Syudou. GHOST and Creep-P are great spooky tune makers. But let's not forget to respect one of the forefathers of creepy Halloween-y vocaloid music, Machigerita-P.
I could go on and on for daysss and believe it or not, I'm still not done learning all there is to know! There's sooo many amazing Vocaloid producers that it would take forever to find them all. Obviously the most popular will be an easy search but the smaller more indie producers make some absolute BANGERS!
Favorite songs? Oho boy, strap in, have I got a list for you! You're gonna regret this, I promise you lol now don't worry this will only hurt a little ^o^
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(My anthem dedicated to all my friends, new and old, near and far💖)
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(It's a bop, Dasu rolls out banger after banger)
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(Bad bitch energy on the dancefloor)
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(A lot of regular people seem to like this one)
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(Can sing this one nearly perfectly, friends fell in love at first sound then felt sad after seeing the lyrics)
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(The song that broke my heart)
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(The song that broke my heart pt 2 - The Tribute)
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(WOAH OH OH WOAH-OH OH OHH)
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(That into s l a p s though)
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(Try not to dance, it's impossible)
Oh damn this is gonna be a huuuuge wall on everyone's dash now, SORRY GUYS!! Vocaloid is a long-time passion interest and I consider it a hugely defining part of my lore, I could literally talk about it for hours and hours and hours well into the next day if you give me the chance. If you're curious and want to know more and listen to more songs feel free to message me, I have an entire ever-expanding playlist! I'd love to share what I love with potential new fans!💖
Probably my favorite ask I've gotten so far on Tumblr, this made my entire afternoon! I hope it was half as fun for you, dear anon, as it was for me! Thank you so sweetly!💖💖
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steelycunt · 8 months
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hi!! 19 and 29 (your music taste is amazing btw. even if you don't like led zeppelin.)
hello!! thank you!! see..love across the zeppelin divide. its possible.
19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure
hm see i am trying to get away from the idea of guilty pleasures in music particularly bc i think if i think about what id personally instinctively call my guilty pleasures really there is little to be guilty about other than my perhaps being a bit of a snob. having said that that is what im going to do now.
movin right along / fozzie and kermit: maybe the fairest guilty pleasure ive got is my enjoyment of muppet music but really! i think this is a great song. really cheers me up and makes me think of my friend and the bit where they go movin right along, LA where have you gone--send someone to fetch us, we're in sasketchewan! is our favourite.
oblivion / grimes: i guess this is a guilty pleasure because it is a grimes song. but it is also on my favourite songs playlist and i listen to it every time i walk home in the dark because i think the fact that im listening to oblivion while walking home in the dark means nothing could possibly happen to me purely because it would just be too on the nose at that point. there is safety in irony perhaps. anyway its hard to feel too guilty about this song because i really dont think its my fault that its just so fucking good
good old fashioned lover boy / queen: it is not queens fault but there is something really quite annoying about this song to me and its only like 65% because of the nature of my overexposure to it in recent years for reasons i will not be getting in to here or anywhere. having said that i also love this song and i love to dance around my room to it and i think its great. so
29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)
baby britain / elliott smith: litchrally one of my favourite songs of all time i just think it is absolutely perfect. like there are loads of songs which are some of my favourites ever which i still would not call perfect but this is not one of them. literally heard this because my dad made me search it up on spotify and decided to get up in the morning + i have been hearing it and getting up in the morning because of it ever since. thanks dad
folk singer / brendan benson: this was one of the first songs i ever liked when i was little and my dad burned it onto a cd with a picture of hello kitty on it just for me. i think a lot of what i like in music i find now can be traced back to liking brendan benson when i was little! plus i used to get really excited because i thought it had my cousins name in it. it did not. what it had was the word shade in it. my cousins name was (is) sinead. the distinction did not matter to me when i was like four years old
waterloo sunset / the kinks: also one of my favourite songs ever! i carried it around like a little seashell. i think this song is just gorgeous and there are a lot of other songs i find gorgeous in a similar way but this was maybe the first.
three songs asks!!
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lickthecowhappy · 9 months
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Playlist Analysis: #10 - Let Me Drown
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#10. Let Me Drown – Orville Peck
This is an Aziraphale song.
Overview:
This song involves the singer convincing someone to let them go, even if it’s painful. Saying it’s ok to let go and the singer is accepting their fate, even welcoming it, ready to go to the other side - whatever that might be. This song represents Aziraphale’s decision to literally leave the mortal realm and silently asking Crowley to let him go since it’s clear Crowley won’t be coming along. 
The water and drowning metaphors also call images of baptism. The symbolic drowning to one’s sinful ways and rebirth into righteousness. A symbolic cleansing of the body and spirit. I don't think of it in the sense of Aziraphale needing to be cleansed to go to Heaven, but in the metaphor of his new commitment to doing what is right instead of what is Good™.
Placement here is post-kiss. We have a moment of doubt followed by a firm decision to fight for Them and for the world. Aziraphale has made his choice, it’s too late to talk any more about it, and this song represents that last look before boarding the elevator. 
Lyrics:
Been finding it hard to be kind Since I've been lost out there, losing my mind And I still keep on searching for what I can't find Let me drown
Aziraphale has been on Earth since the beginning. In season 1, the angels postulate that he’s been down there too long. He’s too human. He’s spent too much time among humans and now he acts like one. Humans have free will, and he’s had free will for the last few years. But after Jim’s mystery was uncovered and the emotional disaster after that, Aziraphale is left still looking for a way to safely love his demon. He must sacrifice this life.
Don't wanna wash you away I swear there's good things that are coming your way And I can't be the one left here dragging you down Let me drown
Just because you have to leave someone, doesn’t mean you want to cleanse yourself of them. Aziraphale certainly isn’t going to be washing those lips any time soon. (I bet he doesn’t consume a thing until he and Crowley make up.) Aziraphale is fully planning to go to Heaven and dismantle the system and stop the second coming from destroying the world; all good things. He can only hope that Crowley knows him well enough to understand and to not interfere, or to see when interference is necessary.
Only one knew my name Nothing left but the summer rain Drag me 'round 'til I never complain Let me drown
Crowley isn’t literally the only one who knows Aziraphale’s name, but he’s the only one who truly knows who Aziraphale is deep down and intimately. Summer rain here representing the sadness interrupting a bright, vibrant period of emotions. All together, these lyrics evoke the sadness of the end of a time spent with someone who knew you better than anyone else. Someone with whom you spent all your happy, sad, and quiet moments.
And then suddenly we're writing out the same old lie When water is all around
They both tried to confess their love. It didn’t take. The danger is present; the water is rising and these two can’t swim. They are back to their same lie they’ve told themselves and each other over and over. “I don’t need you!” “And the feeling is mutual!”
Baby, I can be the one you drown tonight Well, I had sun in my eyes and I'd confide We're no worse off than the worst of 'em, it's fine
They can’t swim but if Aziraphale can take this burden, make that self-sacrifice, he’s going to drown for both of them. There’s a chance this metaphorical death could result in a permanent end to their relationship, or even Aziraphale’s existence, but he’ll fight uphill into the blinding sunlight to try and save everything, and he’ll consider himself no worse off for having done so.
I know with pleasure comes pain I figured we were the same But as I get older I get more afraid Let me drown
Aziraphale knows they won’t be free and safe without a painful fight. Through more and more experience he’s seen it repeatedly proven true. He’s been afraid for Crowley’s safety for hundreds of years and after they both faced trial in season 1, he knows that they had bought some time then, but that reprieve has ended. The Metatron made his veiled threats and Aziraphale heard them. He is now much more aware of their level of danger and must allow himself to be separated from Crowley.
So, no I can't be kind since I lost my mind And this town just ain't big enough for the both of us now Let me drown No, I can't be kind since I lost my mind And this town just ain't big enough for the both of us now Let me drown
Aziraphale is kind, nice, and he loves forgiveness and doing the right thing. But now that he’s going to Heaven to run things, he’s going to have to adapt very quickly to the way things operate upstairs. Kindness might not be an option. And his last interactions with Crowley certainly weren't kind either (whether intentionally or habitually). He’s going to have to learn to wield his authority fully, and there’s no room for him to be hanging around Whickber street while he’s doing so. In his mind, he is begging for Crowley’s blessing to make this sacrifice.
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eucalyprhodes · 2 years
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I am THANKFUL for Spotify
I don’t think we realized how much of a treasure Spotify is. Maybe because opening Spotify is just second nature to us. When we drive, when we’re cleaning the house, when we study, you name it! That little app on your phone with millions (or probably billions?) of music from ANY time in the history. And for only $12.99 per month, you have access to literally every song ever made (I don’t know if this is 100% true, but to me, it feels that way!)
Sometime last year, my husband and I talked about how they don’t make music like they used to anymore. Sure, we don’t hate the music of today, but there’s just something about them that don’t make us feel things like music back then. I must’ve listened to Harry Styles “Grapejuice” and Niki’s “High School in Jakarta” probably close to a hundred times by now, but neither one of those make me feel anything, except for they’re catchy. My husband and I are 90′s babies and that conversation prompted me to look back at one of my old playlists. One that I haven’t listened to for a long time because for the 95% of the time, my playlist (just like most of us now) is filled with what’s popular right now on TikTok (not even radio ...), and social media. I mean, that’s how I figured out “First Class” by Jack Harlow (heard it on tiktok and wondered why on earth does Fergie sounds DIFFERENT). This particular playlist was filled with indie/rock/alternative from mid 2000 like Incubus, MGMT, The Strokes, and oh who can ever forget, Death Cab for Cutie, and I remember listening to this playlist very often during my junior and senior year of college. I began to listen to this playlist much more often since that conversation, being reminded of my life during junior/senior year and even though those years was quite hell-ish if I’m being completely honest, those songs still manage to get me in my feelings much more than when I listen to my current playlist from 2020-present day. I decided since then that I’m not gonna bother listening to any new music anymore. A friend of mine said something that really resonates with me. She doesn’t listen to new music because she already knows what she loves, why bother with the new one? 
So, earlier this year, I started re-organizing my spotify playlist. I created a 2000 indie/alternative, a 2000 pop and any new music is now in my 2015 and up playlist (haven’t listened to that playlist since the year started TBH). 
In making the first two playlists, I searched for top hits from each year. I started from the year that I actually remember listening to songs, which I believe was 1999 and as of today, I just finished adding top songs from 2005. Let me just say how genuinely amazing this process has been for my heart and my soul. I always heard people talk about something that can bring them back to a core memory. It can be food, music, a place, etc. I was never a sentimental person so quite honestly, i never understood that, until these past few days when I revisited some of my favorite songs from 1999-2005. I listened to How Soon is Now by t.A.T.u. and I am reminded of my first day of junior high orientation where I instantly had a crush on this guy who was in charge of my group. I remember him because all the other girls ALSO had a crush on him! He was in student government, super tall, handsome and so nice to us the underclassmen. I was confident that was the best day of my life and when I came home, I turned on the TV and behold! the music video for How Soon is Now was playing on MTV. I remember jamming to that song even though I have no idea what they’re singing and just feeling gleeful because orientation lasts the whole week and I’ll get to see him again for the whole week :) I listened to “Come on Over” by Christina Aguilera and almost BURST UP LAUGHING because that was the song that I had to choreograph a dance with 3 other girls in my 7th grade dance class. Nope, I don’t remember the dance but man, that was a particular memory because for the first time ever, my parents actually allowed me to come over to a classmate’s house. Probably because it was for school purposes but I also remember feeling so cool about it because the other 3 girls were the IT girls. I listened to “If You’re not the One” by Daniel Bedingfield and my memory shot up to a time of heartbreak in freakin 7th grade (teenage years man, it’s heartbreak after heartbreak, it’s brutal). I had liked this boy and I actually knew him even before he transferred to my school because we used to go to the same elementary school. I’d like to think “We go way back” (not really but oh well). I remember one day, after lunch, I saw him walk into our classroom holding hands with a girl and I just realized that I blew my chance of ever telling him I like him.  I came home and watch MTV and sure enough,  If You’re not the One was playing. I just remembered thinking this song sounds so sad and I AM SAD so this must be MY song. Then I listened to Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” and my mind went to the time my aunt, Mama As, called me. I was still living in Indonesia at that time and she would often call us to catch up. I remember watching MTV (I really watched a lot of MTV back then )and my mom handed the phone. “Here, Mama As want to talk to you” “Hi Kezia, what are you doing?” “Hi Mama As, Kezia lagi nonton tv. Mtv nih, ada Avril Lavigne” “Who’s that” “Oh ini penyanyi favorit Kezia sekarang. Dia pop punk gitu deh Ma. Keren deh” “Oh wow. Ya mungkin nanti kalo kamu udah di sini, kamu bisa nonton konser nya dia ya” and I remember feeling so edgy because I listen to Avril Lavigne and my Aunt knows how cool my music taste is. 
And so on and so forth. With each song that I added to the playlist, it just kept bringing me back to many memories. The good ones, the bad ones, the cringy ones (I think at some point, I dedicated “Flying without Wings” in the school radio to the boy I liked, like HOW CRINGY IS THAT). It also made me realize, I’ve always had a thing for Menado and or Toraja boys because literally every boy I liked back in Indo were either Menado or Toraja (and I ended up married to a Menado man!) God already knew my heart even back then! LOL 
Needless to say, it just makes me appreciate spotify even more. Think about it, if spotify didn’t exist, how difficult it would be to get those songs from each year and organizing it into a playlist. Worse, would we have to take each song and burn it into CDs? I don’t know about you but I am so thankful to not have to burn anymore CDs these days :) Honestly, this wasn’t even going to be like a project for me. I intended to just save an existing playlist to my spotify but after seeing the list of songs, I realized I should just create a brand new one, and curate it in a specific order to my liking, which is why I decided to go year by year. 
I should also say, it’s cool that this project starts with music from 1999 and end at 2005 this week because  I believe those are my formative years in terms of music. i started watching MTV and get a lot of exposures to different types of music (Eminem’s “Without Me” and ALL of Linkin Park’s music video live rent free in my head), sneaking into my brother’s room to listen to his cassettes and later CDs, borrowing cassettes from friends and talking about music. There was a heated discussion about Avril Lavigne vs Michelle Branch one day in 6th grade during our lunch break (I was team Avril). In 5th grade, this girl lended her linkin park cassette to another girl and before you know it, that tape was passed around to the entire class, myself included. I don’t understand why we did what we did, but all I remember was that we collectively as a class felt very cultured after experiencing Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory album. 
I can’t wait to complete my playlist, though I’m conflicted if I should end it at 2010 OR just end it at 2005. At what point do all music start to sound like trap music? I couldn’t pinpoint that. But either way, I’m glad I started this mini project. 
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not-your-desi-girl · 3 years
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The Siren Song of Dark Academia
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Tweed uniforms, reading Kafka by candlelight and sitting in the university library for as long as there is more than one star twinkling in the sky. What do all of these share in common? A passion for knowledge and antiquity integrated with the soul of chaos and the tortured artist. That’s the shortest description I could think of when trying to describe what dark academia is. Dark academia has transformed into a complex aesthetic that consists of dark and earthy tones, old books, and a lack of modern technology. The theme has made its way through various forms of media, such as film and literature, but has truly been seized by Gen Z during the past couple of years. It’s accessible escapism available to anyone who feels the flames of chaos licking their ankles in midst of a global pandemic and political upheaval. 
As a university student who was sent home during my first year due to the pandemic, I’m not surprised at the rise in dark academia and aesthetic lifestyles in general. When told to essentially stay in one place, you start to pine for something different than the life you have in front of you; the idea of the life you could have on campus becomes exciting and romantic, and an “anything but this” mindset is the fertilizer an aesthetic needs to become pervasive. Dark academia creates this fantasy world where scholarship is beautiful and seems to offer more than just a way to find a lucrative career.
I’d be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t love dark academia itself. I can’t pretend that I haven’t stayed up late to do homework while listening to a playlist that consists of Chopin and Debussy, or that I’m not doing that in the campus library *right now*. However, I believe that the aesthetic has a certain ugliness to it, one that can get especially worse when given the chance. Social media sites -especially Tumblr- can quickly lead users to view unhealthy content and does a pretty good job of keeping users stuck in a chasm that endlessly echoes back at them.
How does an aesthetic go wrong and what happens when it does?
How Tumblr Created Aesthetic
Of all the social media sites out there, Tumblr is the least expected to be unfamiliar with the aesthetic, or event the term “aesthetic” in general. In more ways than one, Tumblr birthed the concept of online aesthetics. Older users know that the website was one of the first to be image-centric when it was launched in 2007 (Mirny 2021). The emphasis on imagery as content combined with the utilization of tags called for a culmination of users to curate communities quite literally with the touch of a button (or maybe a few). Using tags to label images are posts makes searching a lot easier, but because Tumblr tags allow so much creative freedom, it can become difficult to describe a community when it consists of so many different ideas and images. Naming an aesthetic “dark academia” is much easier than saying “things that look like Dead Poet’s Society” and hoping for the best. 
In philosophy, aesthetics refers to the principles that govern perceived beauty and artistic taste. Tumblr is no different. The various aesthetics you see such as “basic”, “cottage core”, “retro”, “e-girl”, etc. are all forms of artistic expression that resonate with specific groups of people. Even the aesthetics that are very apparent forms of rebellion against beauty standards have some type of standard themselves to constitute as an aesthetic, such as “goth” and “punk”. Users will create image posts and connect them with their respective tags. Images that users feel make the most sense in the aesthetic receive more notes and reblogs, and reach more users exponentially, while images that don’t cater to the target community tend to dissolve. This system pushes communities to create a concentrated aesthetic that shares a very specific feature. 
When a majority of Tumblr users are young, that no doubt significantly influences what the mainstream aesthetics will look like. 
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Though not the majority, a large portion of users consists of people between 15 and 25 years old. People can struggle at any age, of course, but the 10-year period is difficult. Imagine going through physical puberty, immediately followed by emotional puberty. Younger users are more likely to yearn for a sense of community to feel like they belong *somewhere*, meaning that aesthetic communities are bound to be more popular with that demographic: “Access to the public sphere in traditional ways has decreased substantially for youth during the past two decades, while surveillance by parents and institutional authorities has greatly increased. Teens' use of social media is a reflection of their need to find new ways to achieve privacy and assert some control over their personal space” (McCracken 2017). The very need to gain back the control McCracken mentions is reflected in the rise of online aesthetics. It serves as a form of self-expression in a place that the self is otherwise restricted, and users can portray themselves however they see fit. People want to be with others who understand them. But it’s in that sense of community where users can stumble into something that would’ve been better off left alone (this seems to happen so often that the site should be rebranded to Stumblr). 
Romanticizing Mental Illness
***Content Warning: Discussion of eating disorders and self-harm ***
Those familiar with dark academia imagine a flurry of images when they hear the name of the aesthetic. Among those images are primarily scholars. Dark academia concocts a reality where chasing your thirst for knowledge is for your own personal development and enrichment. In the 1989 film Dead Poet’s Society, teacher John Keating tells his students, “We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.” Passion for knowledge is at the core of dark academia, but eventually to a fault. The b-side of the aesthetic includes dark circles and eye bags, madness, and the ever infamous “thinspo”.
Anima Shrestha cites 16-year-old Tumblr user Laura who wishes she could be “mysterious, haunted, fascinating”. The transition from demonizing mental illness in media to desiring it is largely due to the “echo chamber” sites like Tumblr provides (Shrestha 2018). Vulnerable teenagers and young adults will go into Tumblr seeking advice or sympathy and find themselves accidentally caught in a riptide of negative content. Once the algorithm catches onto a user’s preferences, the user will see more of that type of content. Repeating the beautification of mental illness within this closed space may eventually lead to impressionable/vulnerable users to desire mental illness for themselves (Shrestha 2018). Black and white images portraying melancholy and despair remove the very real pain of mental illness and converts the concept into its own aesthetic. This simultaneously harms the people with desire who do not have a disorder and delegitimizes those who do have a disorder. 
The the two most inescapable disorder-based posts on Tumblr are arguably depression and anorexia, especially within dark academia. As mentioned earlier, the core of the dark academia aesthetic is a burning passion for knowledge. This can materialize in the form of a student who stays up for hours on end to research their interests, or an alcoholic professor who is a nihilist because he “just knows too much”. More often than not, “the tortured artist” is the most revered trope: a misunderstood character in pain over the unfair nature of the world; someone who is too intellectually profound for their own wellbeing. Nihilism and depression combine to create this image of superiority because “nobody gets them”. Physically harming and neglecting the self is an integral part of the tortured artist archetype, so it will surely flow over if one embraces the aesthetic wholly. However, how a user connects to this archetype can turn into a “what came first”-type riddle. In the height of Covid-19, students were already at the mercy of academic stress, so it’s not impossible that the tortured artist/scholar serves as a figure of relatability and comfort. In a sense, the character makes the pain feel like it’s all in the name of something greater than we can comprehend, making it worth it. However! Users are still at risk of exacerbating the situation if they stay within the echo chamber.  
On to thinspo: the first time I searched up “Dark Academia” on tumblr I saw an image-post of very thin white women with the tags #an0r3x!a (leetspeak for “anorexia”) and #I will get skinny.
I was horrified - why is it so blatant and so accessible?
Not surprisingly, it’s because we like skinny women. Using the royal we, our online society prefers thinner woman to the point where 97.7% of them were the subject of a photo (Wick and Harriger 2018). I don’t think anyone will fall out of their seat in shock when I say that we still have exceptionally strict beauty standards online for women and femme-presenting people. They are expected to be skinny, hairless, and white (or European-looking at the very least). Placing people with these features on a pedestal further separates people and creates a homogenous community. With dark academia being an aesthetic, it will inevitably prioritize how things (and people) look.
Classism and Racism in Dark Academia
A quick question: did the photo I included at the very top of this post seem out of place? Did anything about it scream “THIS ISN’T DARK ACADEMIA!!!!” ? I’d be surprised if it gave off that impression because most results when searching for “dark academia” show images of preppy-looking students, marble statues, and old European-style architecture. The fashion, architecture, and very interests of dark academia are heavily Eurocentric. Donna Tartt’s The Secret History is potentially THE template for the aesthetic, with it’s preparatory school, white students in uniforms, and mystery. 
Is there anything wrong with thinking that Oxford University looks nice and that French seems like an interesting language? Of course not! But the fact that the aesthetic is so blatantly European begs for questioning. 
Dark academia associates itself with decadence, elite scholarship and mysterious prep schools, all of which have been historically exclusive to wealthy white men. With the efforts of British colonialism, nations have been ravaged of their wealth and knowledge, leaving few resources to recuperate in time before Western ideology became the mainstream. Dark academia preserves the past and remains within the aesthetics of 19th and 20th century England and the east coast of the United States. Even the fashion of it is that of the modern-day Tory (wealthy and conservative English people). An overwhelming majority of images with the dark academia tag depict white people, and they are treated as the default. If you want to find traditional/cultural dark academia, you need to specifically search for it, showing us that BIPOC users are not included within the aesthetic normally. 
The lack of BIPOC people within the community reflects the reality of how academia tends to bar People of Color from entering the space, especially women. BIPOC women who do enter the sphere of education face microaggressions and betrayal from colleagues and mentors alike (Marbley et al. 2011). 
The aesthetic contradicts itself because it’s very presence on social media makes it *not* elite, yet somehow it is gatekept. Dark academia prides itself on individuals learning about and embracing culture, but only European cultures and languages are treated as classy. There is nothing inherently white about wanting to chase knowledge, but because of colonization and mainstream Western ideology, non-European cultures are erased and ignored by the aesthetic. 
Poetry and literature from all cultures should be celebrated in the community because it only provides more perspective on how the chaos of the world around us falls into place. Luckily, users are slowly integrating more content that features people of color in dark academia. 
Resources
Marbley, Aretha, Aliza Wong, Sheryl Santos-Hatchett, and Lahib Jaddo. 2011. “Women Faculty of Color: Voices, Gender, and the Expression of Our Multiple Identities within Academia.” Advancing Women in Leadership 31: 166–74. http://www.advancingwomen.com/awl/Vol31_2011/marbleyfinal207_31.pdf.
‌McCracken, Allison. 2017. “Tumblr Youth Subcultures and Media Engagement.” Cinema Journal 57 (1): 151–61. https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/44867867.pdf.‌
2021. Proquest.com. 2021. https://www.proquest.com/docview/2506736471?parentSessionId=mW4hWlzgSS8EN%2FZpFGJqHDUuHtxx6kwfnPofMsRtdFM%3D&pq-origsite=primo&accountid=9703.
‌“Elsevier Enhanced Reader.” 2017. Elsevier.com. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2017.11.005.‌
“(PDF) Emotion Regulation and the Disappointing Gift Task: Implications for Understanding Children’s Development.” n.d. ResearchGate. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Reeya-Patel-7/publication/327321983_Emotion_Regulation_and_The_Disappointing_Gift_Task_Implications_for_Understanding_Children.
“U.S. Tumblr Usage by Age 2020 | Statista.” 2020. Statista. Statista. 2020. https://www.statista.com/statistics/202359/tumblr-users-demographics/.
‌Jewett, Emily. 2021. “Dark Academia Has a ‘White’ Problem.” Study Breaks. January 18, 2021. https://studybreaks.com/culture/reads/dark-academia-diversity/.‌
‌The Rise of Dark Academia — Pro Tem | York University Glendon student newspaper. 2020. “Pro Tem.” Pro Tem. October 28, 2020. https://www.protemgl.com/articles/the-rise-of-dark-academia.‌
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outerbankies · 3 years
Text
new light part 4: underneath the moonlight — rafe cameron
new light series masterlist
summary: you and rafe meet the parents (properly) and go to midsummers together, but not everyone is as smitten with your relationship as you two are.
pairing: rafe x kook reader
warnings: drinking, swearing
a/n: say hello to a few characters (tw: ward) i have had yet to feature thus far 🤗 more of y/n being besties with kelce (and topper this time—our fave obx himbo) there’s a lil drama in this part y’all... into the thick of it. thanks for all the feedback 💖not canon rafe
my writing
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yeah if you give me just one night, to meet you underneath the moonlight
You’re startled awake by a loud knock on your bedroom door. You’re squished between 6 feet and 3 inches worth of boy and the pink wall your bed is pushed up against. Rafe always insisted on laying on your outer side, closest to the door of your bedroom. Which means you often woke up pressed into the wall, your neck sometimes aching from the awkward angle. Not to mention Wilbur always taking up the space at your feet, Rafe usually nudging him into your space so he could stretch out.
Rafe stirs also, making sleepy noises and stretching his legs where they hang off the end of your bed. He grumbles and smacks his lips together a few times, your hand instinctively coming to rub along his jaw. His eyes flutter open as the sun streams in through your window, illuminating the hint of golden stubble on his chin. You’d only slept over together a few times, since you were both staying with your parents for the summer, so it’s always nice to wake up with your boy in your bed.
Oh fuck. Your boy is in your bed.
Rafe's eyes widen at the same time as yours.
“Oh shit, we fell asleep?” he whispers, head whipping around your room.
“Fuck, you have to hide right now,” you whisper, stumbling through your thoughts sleepily.
Another knock sounds from the door.
You extract yourself from your spot between Rafe and the wall, his hands guiding you by your hips as you tumble over him.
“Just, fuck, just like—get under the covers or something. God, I hope it’s not my dad,” you whisper.
“Me too,” he says, slinking into the gap between your bed and the wall as best he can, covering his face with a pillow.
You check that he’s concealed enough, turning to open the door just the slightest bit. Dylan stands in the crack.
“We have brunch at the Club in an hour, mom wanted me to ask if you invited Rafe,” he peers around you, gaze moving to behind your shoulder. “Or I could just ask him myself. Sup, Rafe?”
“Shut the fuck up, Dyl,” you whisper-shout. “Where are mom and dad? Can he sneak out the back? And don’t lie to me, or I’ll tell them about Hilton Head.”
“God, calm down. Dad’s in the garage and mom’s getting ready. Just have him go now.”
“Thanks,” you say, all but slamming the door in his face. You turn around and press your back against the door, letting out a shaky breath.
The covers rustle, and Rafe springs out of your bed to gather his things while Wilbur watches him. He always starts pouting when he notices that Rafe is putting on his hat or shoes, signs that he’s about to leave.
“We are so dead.”
“You don’t think he’ll say anything, do you? I don’t think I can sit at brunch with your dad in an hour if he knows I slept in your bed last night.”
“Not if he’s smart,” you sigh. “Want me to walk you out?”
“No, I got it. Just keep Willy in here. I’ll text you when I make it out alive. If you don’t hear from me, just assume your father murdered me,” he jokes, leaning down to give you a kiss after he slips his shoes on. “See you back here in an hour?”
“Yes, please be early. And clean shaven.”
“Yes ma’am. And don’t insult me,” he mumbles against your lips.
“Nervous?”
“Not nearly as nervous as I will be if I get caught, sweetheart. Gotta go so I have time to shower—and shave. See you in a bit.”
He gives you one last kiss before he departs, and you move to the window with Wilbur to watch him slink across the backyard, arms crossed and a fond grin on your face. He turns and blows you one last kiss before he disappears around the side of your house.
“Y/n, can I speak to you for a second?”
Your dad’s voice comes from his study as you pass by, checking yourself over in the entryway mirror one more time. Rafe should be here any minute.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Come sit,” he says, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. You feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Your dad only invited you to talk in his study if it was something serious. The last time he did was when he told you he was going to take away your Range Rover if you didn’t pull your Bs up to As your freshman year of college. You’ve had a 4.0 ever since.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yes, everything’s fine. Just wanted to talk about the new boyfriend.”
“What about him?”
“I always knew of him while the two of you were growing up. But I talked to him a bit back during Dylan’s grad week.”
As an unruly teenager and the rightful heir to his father's business, everyone in the Outer Banks knew about Rafe and his antics. Good or bad. You could even recall your mom gossiping to your dad, words passed on from Rose, about some of his more... notable incidences.
“Y-yeah, he's...” you trail off, searching for the right words to describe Rafe these days.
“Seems like a good kid,” your dad supplies.
“What did you guys talk about?”
“Business, mostly. His future and whatnot.”
“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No, I just wonder... are you sure about this one? When you were kids, that boy was always causing trouble. And you know your mother and I were always so proud of how you stayed in line.”
“I know,” you sigh. “But Rafe’s not a boy anymore. Just give him a chance.”
“I will,” your dad says, slapping his knees to stand up. “But I'm also gonna give him a hard time.”
“Dad, please.”
“It’s my job. Your mom gets to freak out about Dylan moving out, and I get to handle scaring every man who gets to look at you.”
The doorbell rings.
“Please. I am literally begging.”
Your dad draws a fake halo around his head, and you just roll your eyes.
The morning gets off to an even more embarrassing start as soon as Rafe crosses the threshold into your house. Wilbur jumps into his arms immediately, all ninety pounds of him, and your mom’s eyes widen.
“My goodness, he’s usually so hesitant around strangers!”
Dylan chokes on a laugh, and if you weren’t across the room you’d have elbowed him in the ribs.
“Oh, I’ve walked Wilbur by Tanneyhill before.”
“Yeah, I-I love Willy. Mrs. Y/l/n, it’s so nice to see you again,” Rafe says, effortlessly following your lead after Wilbur scampers out of his hold. He shakes your mom’s hand politely. Your dad sidles up to her then, fixing Rafe with a stare harder than you’d prefer. “Mr. Y/l/n, you as well. Thanks again, to both of you, for inviting me.”
“Good to see you, Rafe,” your dad says, a strong hand clamping onto his shoulder. “Dylan, come say hi.”
Dylan’s grin is devilish, and you're just watching on in pure horror at this point. “How have you been, Rafe? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Rafe’s grinning ear to ear, hand firm on your thigh, all of the windows in his truck rolled down. He even popped the sun roof, letting you blast your playlist all the way down the road.
“Okay—I just... did that go well?”
“You did great, Rafe.”
Despite Dylan's best efforts to embarrass you two, brunch had gone really well. Your dad took a second to let his guard down, unlike your mother who was immediately gushing over him. You could practically see the wheels in her head turning, the wedding colors she'd picked for you. And your dad came around quick enough once Rafe brought up Formula 1.
Your boyfriend looks so relieved, hand even coming to feel the air pass through his fingers as he hangs his arm out the window, hand on your thigh coming back up to steady the wheel. He taps on it excitedly.
“Lowkey, feel like I nailed it, baby.”
“Okay,” you giggle, leaning over to peck his check. You pull him in with a soft hand to the other side of his face. “Let’s not get too big for our britches.”
“Oh, I’m a parent-meeting expert now. Might go into consulting.”
“You’ve perfected the sport?” you joke.
“No, no. That’s—I’ve never actually met parents before,” he admits.
“No way?”
“Way? Have you?” he asks, slight edge seeping into his tone as he pulls up to the stoplight outside of your favorite coffee spot.
“Uh... once. We weren’t even really dating yet, but they came to visit and he like, ambushed me with them at dinner. They were kinda hippies, though.”
“Yeah?” His tone is clipped as he parks his truck.
“Yeah, some guy from my comparative literature class sophomore year,” you sigh. “But, you’re the first to meet my parents.”
“Mm,” he hums, fingers tapping on your knee. That satisfies him. He gathers one of your hands in his. “You coming in?”
“Will you just get me a latte? Kinda wanna call my mom and debrief.”
He laughs, kissing your knuckles. “I’ll give you a minute, sweetheart. Oat milk?”
Your original plans to meet the Camerons fell through, a last minute staging emergency arising when you were all supposed to go for dinner. You’d tried not to look down while Rafe attempted in earnest to cheer you up, telling you how pretty you looked while you took out your earrings and let your hair down. He'd kissed the crown of your hair and apologized profusely, promising they would love you when they finally got to meet you.
“M’not upset.”
“Okay.” His hand stroked your back through the thick cotton of one of his old water polo sweatshirts he’d let you borrow for the night.
“I’m just really nervous about meeting them. You might’ve set the bar a little too high with my parents.”
“You just have a great family.”
“I don’t know,” you said when you finally cracked a smile. “Made it pretty far on your first try.”
“Don’t worry. They’re going to love you, sweetheart.”
You let him kiss your cheek, your forehead, your nose and chin.
“Hope so.”
“Know so.”
And Rafe had somehow convinced your father to let you go to Midsummers with his family, promising to join up for pictures and greetings later. Your dad had willingly let him, to your surprise.
The event was a big deal to Figure 8 patriarchs and matriarchs alike, always trying to outdo the other in every way, all while feigning some sense of island camaraderie. But when Rafe had set aside time at brunch to specifically ask your family for their permission to accompany you to the event, they’d been hard pressed to say no. Your family immediately accepted Rafe as your boyfriend, any lingering hesitations about his character drowned out by the equal chances of your personal happiness and the heightening of their social and business profiles.
But he’d still come to your house to pick you up, ready to greet your parents in the foyer once again.
He takes one look at you in that blush pink dress, hair, makeup and jewelry all done up this time around, daisy flower crown in place, and flicks his eyes around his surroundings. Your father and Dylan were nowhere in sight, and your mother was busy fixing her earrings in the hall. He takes to your side immediately, a kiss to the side of your head followed by his lips pressing against your ear. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”
With the high from those words, you ride in his truck to Midsummers, nerves never dissipating no matter how many reassurances he speaks across the summer air streaming in through the vehicle. “Remember, they’re gonna love you.”
He helps you down from his truck so you can focus on keeping your dress off the ground, assuring you for the fiftieth time that Rose is going to like your headpiece.
“Miss Y/l/n, how lovely to see you again you at last,” Ward sighs, sounding somewhat fond. “Rafe’s been talking my ear off about this, meeting you again even though we’ve already met. Sorry we couldn’t make it work earlier.”
“No worries, Mr. Cameron. Thank you so much for inviting me to tag along with your family at Midsummers. You as well, Mrs. Cameron. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you! And of course,” Rose says, bringing you in for a hug, one you definitely were not expecting.“You’re out in California, aren’t you?”
“Yes, home for the summer.”
“That’s a long way from here,” Ward says. His eyes flicker to Rafe. “Long way from Georgia. Shorter, but still a long way.”
“Dad, c’mon,” Rafe cuts in, and you can feel his hand gripping the back of your dress:
“He’s just stating the obvious, Rafe,” Rose intervenes.
“Yeah, it is far,” you agree. Rafe’s head whips around back to you.
“We’re figuring it out,” he says. To anyone else in the vicinity, he probably sounds confident and self assured. But you know Rafe, and you can look into his eyes and see that he’s not. That if he weren’t in front of his entire family, trying earnestly to impress his father, he’d have said: ‘we’re gonna figure it out, right?’
“I’m sure things will work out the way they’re meant to,” Ward says after a lapse in conversation. “One way or another.”
“Let’s get some photos so we can all enter and the two of you can run off,” Rose says immediately after, giving neither of you the time to say anything else.
You do your best to shake off Ward’s comment as the four of you join up with the Cameron daughters, plus Sarah’s boyfriend, John B. After posing for what felt like hours, the photographer asks you and John B to hop out so they can take some family pictures, the two of you swiping up a couple of Old Fashioneds from the bar. You have to assure Rafe twice that you’ll be okay for ten minutes on your own.
“First time meeting Ward?” Sarah’s boyfriend asks, leaned up against the bar like he owns the place.
“Er—of course not,” you say, like it’s obvious. But of course John B knew nothing about Figure 8 social circles. “Just the first time as Rafe’s girlfriend.”
“Yeah, you look nervous,” he admits, chuckling when your mouth drops open. “It’s not too obvious, I just know because—been in your shoes.”
You should be insulted that the teenager compares his and Sarah’s relationship with yours and Rafe’s, but you know he isn’t being malicious. You see nothing but kindness in his eyes. And it’s nice to have somewhat of a teammate in this situation, the two of you standing by while one of the most powerful families in Kildare poses together in their finest outfits.
Rafe looks hot in his grey suit, especially with the pocket square he’d agonized over for weeks before you gifted him one that was hand sewn from the extra material where your dress had been hemmed. Monogrammed, of course.
You’d decided to go with his initials, since it was going to him after all. But your stomach gets fluttery if you think about the expression on his face when he’d received it, telling you that you should’ve put yours on it instead. “That way everyone will know I’m yours.”
Turning back to John B, you can’t imagine how he must have felt the first time he was invited into all of this. It intimidated even you, and you’re pretty sure John B was friends with the boy who delivered your family’s groceries every week.
“Any tips?”
“You’re way better off than I was, first of all,” he laughs. “But he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one. He cares too much about this appearance of a perfect family to make digs in front of an audience.”
You nod. “That’s actually really good advice, John B.”
“Don’t sound so surprised, kook.” He clinks his glass against yours, promptly throwing the entire drink back as you watch and laugh. “That’s another tip. Drink whenever you can.”
“I’m familiar with that one.”
It's intimidating entering the event, a little after everyone else has arrived. Rafe told you that was by design—the Camerons could never be earlier than fashionably late. You always assumed you and Rafe were raised with similar pedigrees, but you're barely through the doors of the event before you realize that's not entirely true. Up until the last millisecond, Rose is fussing with Sarah and Wheezie's gowns, the older daughter making eye contact with you and rolling her eyes at her step-mother's antics. And Ward brushes Rafe's shoulders off more times than you can count, straightening his bow tie for him repeatedly. Rafe just places his hand on your back, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “You ready?”
You smile up at him, but your nerves are firmly settled in at this point. What you reply isn’t completely true. “Of course.”
You take John B’s advice, of course, and choose Kelce as your designated drinking buddy for the night. He was hard to keep up with, but you threw your inhibitions to the wind after you got meeting the Camerons out of the way. Plus, Rafe had more business to attend to than he’d let on, and you were getting pretty bored. Not too long ago he would’ve been right beside the rest of you, causing trouble and borderline embarrassing all of your parents. It was weird to see him walking around, shaking hands and rubbing elbows. He’d invited you into a few conversations, you trying your hardest not to simply watch him in awe.
You’re engaged in some strange dance battle with Kelce when he stacks his drink into yours, both empties at this point. “Your turn to get a round.”
“Boo,” you sigh, throwing your head back. “What d’you want?”
“Surprise me.”
“Aye aye.”
You’re turning on a shaky high heel, and you have to give yourself a little mental pep talk to straighten up. Of course you can, though.
“What can I get you, miss?” the barkeep asks.
“Vodka press, Tito’s, and a Jack and coke. Double Jack. Actually—single. Thanks,” you murmur, trying to fish a ten out of your clutch.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got the tip for this one,” a voice says next to you. Ward Cameron is sidling up next to you, sliding a fifty across the counter. Your eyes widen at the tip, trying not to be embarrassed as the bartender sets the drinks down in front of you.
“Oh, thank you, Mr. Cameron.”
“Ah, call me Ward.” He flicks his eyes back to the bartender, who quickly pockets the tip and makes himself scarce to give the two of you some privacy. You can’t help but think of John B’s warning: ‘he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one.’ There’s no point in even trying seek out Rafe, you knowing full well you’re expected to stay rooted to the spot until Ward dismisses you. “Having a good time?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “It’s always fun to come back out here for this.”
“So, California to Georgia,” he whistles. “That’s probably a five hour flight, at least.”
“Yeah, um,” you take a minute to make sure your flower crown is perfectly in place. “It’s actually two.”
“Excuse me?”
“Two flights. From his school to mine. Rafe checked, he said there’s nothing direct,” you clarify.
Ward let’s out an indifferent chuckle. “Of course he did.”
Your eyebrow furrows because you don’t know what to say, turning to look at where your drinks are starting to melt. Kelce would be wondering where you are by now if he wasn’t three sheets to the wind. And where the hell was Rafe?
“Y/n, as far as I can tell, you are a nice girl. I just need to make sure we’re on the same page about one thing.”
Your heartbeat that hadn’t really settled since Ward approached you is picking up again, and you really wish Rafe had been the least bit more concerned about where you were at this moment.
“Um, I-I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”
“I'm don’t know how serious you two are, Y/n, but I know my son. He's clearly very invested in pursuing you.”
Your resolve crumbles a little at that, your heart warming, thinking about Ward noticing something like that.
“But Rafe needs to be committed to finishing this degree so he can come home and start learning the ropes next year. And in four years, Sarah will do the same. Then Louisa after her.”
“Wow, that’s so lucky for you—that they all want to go into the family business,” you praise, not really knowing what else to say. It must be the wrong thing, because Ward just quirks an eyebrow.
“In this family, our business will always come first. Before anything and anyone else. Do you see what I’m getting at?”
You swallow, catching on to where this is going for the first time. You still go for playing dumb.
“Ward, I really don't think I understand.”
“But you do, don't you? You know Rafe. He’s a bit emotional, he’s a ‘feeler,’” Ward says sarcastically, putting it in air quotes. All of the niceties you experienced earlier when you first greeted Rafe’s family were long gone. You can only gather that it was all an act for Rafe’s benefit. But you know the only option is to sit there and take it. “He thinks with his heart, never enough with his head. Sarah, for example—when it’s time for her to cut that pogue lose, which it will be soon enough, I know she will. Whether it’s my decision or her’s. I can count on that, because she’s just like me in that respect; she knows we have to make sacrifices. But Rafe—I don’t think I can make that same assumption about him.”
“Ward, with all due respect, Rafe is really focused on the business.”
“You're correct, and I’ve worked hard to get him there. Which is why I can't have him spending his senior year of college, when he should be buckled down, traveling back and forth from California and getting distracted from his future by some girl.”
“Mr. Cameron, I would never—”
“You know that it’s true. I can tell you’re bright. You come from a great family.” It’s a compliment and an insult all at once. He likes you because of your father’s business and your mother’s social status, not because of what you do for Rafe, or what you have to show for yourself. He continues like it was nothing but the highest praise. “But right now, you are across the country from him, and I can bet he’s determined to make that work, no matter what it takes. Which I obviously can’t have,” Ward sighs. “It’s just not the right time. You can understand that, can't you?”
You nod numbly and pick up your drinks, hoping he’ll get the signal to wrap this up soon. You’re at the point where you can’t listen to this anymore, liquid courage re-flooding your veins.
“I’m not asking you to stay away from him, because you’re both adults,” Ward says, stopping you with a hand on your shoulder. “But I’m asking you to think long and hard about what’s best for the both of you. Rafe already knows what’s expected of him. He’s always known.”
You look back towards the crowd under the gazebo, able to make out John B of all people. He sees you talking to Ward, shooting you the most subtle thumbs up he can muster. He has no idea. You don’t take the chance to nod at him, turning back to the bar.
“Say the two of you let it go for the school year,” Ward bulldozes, taking a step closer to you. “And you end up back here too, great. But even then Rafe’s going to be working all the time, the longest hours he ever will in his life. For the next few years, Y/n. You’re so young—are you really going to tie yourself down to a commitment like that? What about your future?”
In a tone you hope comes across as confident, you say, “I really appreciate your concern, Ward.”
Ward's perfectly white teeth are pulling into an even more perfect grin, and the sight makes you sick.
“Great. I'm glad we had this talk.” He pats you on the back, leaving first before you get the chance to.
You just shuffle through the crowd numbly, not even reacting when someone steps on your toe, taking it all in stride as you seek the comfort of your friends once again.
You were foolish to think Ward would warm up to you immediately, or at all. You had been way too confident in yourself, especially after witnessing the wear working for his father had on Rafe. ‘He’s not an easy man to please.’ How could you be so naive, thinking you could coast by on your charm?
You’re a few feet away when you notice that Topper had joined up with Kelce again, as had your boyfriend. He’s joking with them, amused at the way Topper is clearly almost done tolerating Kelce’s drunken antics, but you stand and watch for a bit as he scans the crowd, gaze flickering toward the bar you’d just been at. You realize he’s looking for you when he finally spots you, his face relaxing as the two of you make eye contact.
“There you are.” He pulls you in close, kissing your forehead. You want to cry. “Where’d you run off to? One of those for me?”
He’s gesturing to the drinks you’re holding, reaching for the darker of the two. But Kelce is swooping in, snatching it out of your hold quickly. “Nope,” he pops the ‘p.’ “This one’s all mine. Sorry Cameron. Thanks Y/n/n.”
Rafe just rolls his eyes at the two of you, eyes lingering on your face when he notices your fallen expression. He sets your other drink down on the high top table you’re all standing next to, pulling you in by your hips. “You okay?”
If you had a choice right now, about how to proceed with telling or not telling Rafe about what had just happened, your instincts compel you to bypass the decision process altogether; you paint a careful smile on your face, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, all good. Just zoned out for a sec.”
He isn’t convinced. “Tired?”
“Maybe a little. Kinda drunk. Are we leaving soon?” you ask, melting into him. It’s a lot easier to handle his tone of voice when you don’t have to look him directly in the eye.
“I vote yes,” Topper says, gesturing towards Kelce, who is somehow sucking down his new drink at an alarming pace while continuing to dance to the oldies tunes they play at these things. “Like, right now. Rafe, you’re hanging back right?”
You look back up at your boyfriend in confusion. “You’re not coming with us?”
He bite his lip in contemplation, looking around the party. The twinkly lights reflect off of his pupils, making him look starry-eyed as he surveys the crowd. A sea of opportunities to prove himself to his father. Rafe looks resolved when he turns back to you.
“Well... I was gonna stay, wrap up some stuff,” he explains. His eyes flicker across your face, still not pleased with your expression. “But that’s okay, I’m good to go now.”
“No, Rafe,” you say immediately. You take a deep breath, rolling back your shoulders and painting on a smile that comes easily with years of experience at parties like this. “Stay, I’ll go ahead. How long will you be?”
“An hour, tops. Will you take her?” Rafe looks hesitant, still taking your green light anyway, already slowly extracting himself from your hold, Topper rolling his eyes but nodding and beginning to corral Kelce toward the exit.
“I can’t believe you’re making me babysit two of them.”
“Don’t let her drink too much.”
“Hey,” you protest, pushing him in his chest half heartedly. The push barely does anything, only proving your impaired motor skills further. Or that you're dating a tree. “What are you, a cop?”
“I’m your boyfriend, actually.”
“Really? When did that happen?” you decide to play along, picking up your drink again.
“‘Bout a month ago, Y/l/n,” he says softly. He can see right through you, can tell you're putting on a show for all of your friends but you're still not okay. You have to break eye contact.
“Hmm, for some reason I thought you were just this guy from middle school.”
“At least this time nobody spilled on your dress,” he teases half-heartedly, and the memory only hurts you more. “Not sure I’d wanna sacrifice this one.”
“Can you—you guys are the worst. Focus. We need to go now, before Kelce gets his entire family blacklisted from the club. You coming or not, Y/n/n?” Topper begs.
You’re nodding, leaning up to give Rafe one last kiss before you leave. He holds you close to him with a firm hand on your back, voice dropping to a whisper right next to your ear. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
The lump in your throat is growing, but you push through, lowering yourself back down to your feet as soon as you can. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Focus on the rest of your night.”
Rafe still looks unsure, his hand resting on the nape of your neck as he kisses your forehead. “Y/n—”
“We’ll talk about it later, okay?” you finally admit. Rafe nods curtly, can tell you’re not going to let him leave with you right now. But he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know that if you pull him away from his responsibilities right after that talk you had with Ward, it’s going to spell disaster for the two of you.
“Just some business stuff, alright?” he assures you. “I’ll see you soon. Forty-five minutes.”
“Promise?” you murmur, fiddling with his pocket square. He smiles down at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“Promise. You look so pretty. Half an hour. Now go.”
Topper’s guiding you towards the parking lot with a polite hand on your back, but you have to watch Rafe as you leave. You watch him approach his dad, who gives him a smile and a pat on the back. Rafe preens under his gaze.
But Ward must have been watching you two from afar because his gaze is flickering back to you, and he fixes you with a hard stare. He raises his eyebrows, bringing his drink to his lips. Taking a leisurely sip, hint of a smirk on his face. You can practically hear his thoughts: ‘Rafe chose to stay here with me, with the business, and sent you off with his friends.’ It’s everything in you to not let the tears that have been building on your waterline spill over. But your friend isn’t easily fooled.
“Y’alright, Y/n?” Topper says from beside you, trusting Kelce enough to walk on his own as you all near the parking lot. He moves to follow your gaze but you stop him, quickening your pace towards his gray Jeep. “Did something happen?”
“Ward Cameron happened.”
———
tags: @moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids
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beauty-and-passion · 4 years
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Time to talk about the flower shirt
You read the title. Time to talk about this.
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This is the infamous flower shirt Thomas put on in his store and, since the fandom is the fandom, everyone started to speculate about those flowers.
At first, I didn’t want to do it. They’re just flowers and other people already talked about them, so what could I possibly add to the conversation?
But while I was writing about Orange, I had to talk a moment about the orange flower. It was supposed to be a small parenthesis, just a couple of words about that.
But then I looked at the other flowers and what other people told/not told about them and how some didn’t find Patton’s flower... so here I am, adding my two cents to this theme.
You needed it? Probably not. Well, I’m writing it anyway.
So let’s take a closer look at those flowers and see each one in detail:
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Roman: Red rose
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Should I really explain why it’s perfect for Roman? Red roses are the universal symbol of love. Basically in all cultures red roses symbolize passion, true love, romance and desire. Also, according to this website, even the shade has a meaning! In fact, the deeper the red shade is, the stronger is the passion.
And even the number of red roses has a meaning! In this case, we have only one single red rose and that "represents love at first sight, or if it’s coming from a long-term partner, they are saying “you are still the one”.”
You know what that made me think? About Thomas telling Roman “You’re my hero”. A perfect symbol that he was “still the one” for Thomas.
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Orange: Lantana camara
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This is an incredibly peculiar flower.
Lantana Camara symbolizes severity and rigour. And this alone can be analyzed in all possible ways, but there are other interesting details about this plant I think it's worth mentioning.
Lantana is toxic for livestock, such as cattle, sheep, horses, dogs and goats. According to Wikipedia, previous studies suggested it could be toxic for humans too, especially the green unripe berries. However "other studies have found evidence which suggests that its fruit poses no risk to humans".
Lantana is a freaking invasive plant. In some areas, it's so predominant, to reduce biodiversity, because its presence "can significantly slow down the regeneration of forests, by preventing the growth of new trees". Also, as if this isn't enough, this plant can also produce toxic chemicals which inhibit other plant species.
Lantana has also a great adaptability, that helped it to be so invasive: it can live in a wide range of different environmental conditions, it can survive long periods without water, heck it's even resistant to fire. It's not a plant you can underestimate. Like Orange, I assume.
But Lantana isn't just an invasive plant. Lantana has always been used for medical purposes, because it showed good antimicrobial, fungicidal and insecticidal properties and its extract helps against respiratory infections and ulcers.
Also, since it doesn't have many pests or diseases, lantana became a common ornamental plant. It even attracts butterflies!
In other words: isn't that the perfect plant to symbolize the double nature of a dark side? It can be a threat, change the environment, destroy and even kill. But it can also be a medicine, something useful, something beautiful.
Whoever Orange is, Lantana camara tells us that, whithout a doubt, he’s a dark side.
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Janus: Sunflower
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Do you think Janus isn't perfect enough as he is? Do you think there's not enough husband material in the snek?
Well, you’re wrong and the sunflower is here to prove it.
Sunflower symbolizes loyalty, adoration, longevity, vitality, worship. Now add this up to the sunflower’s behaviour and how it follows the sun... and you’ll get Janus. Janus literally acts like a sunflower: Thomas is his sun and everything Janus does is for him. His whole existence is centered around Thomas.
But we already knew that, because it's the same message that shone through his playlist. Everything about Janus tells us how much he adores Thomas, from his canonical behavior in the series, to his playlist, to this flower.
Oh, do you need another proof that this is flower is perfect for Janus? Some societies use sunflowers as religious symbols. Ah, some good ol' reference to religion: it’s like being in his playlist all over again.
And, of course, sunflowers are used for a variety of reasons, like cooking oils, skin care and so on. Even the flower says self care.
This man is perfect.
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Remus: Green chrysanthemum
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Here's another interesting flower.
Chrysanthemum symbolizes death and it’s the typical flower used for funerals. And I thought this was its universal meaning. It was perfect for Remus just like that.
But then I found out that Europeans use chrysanthemums for funerals and to honor the dead. This flower actually has a whole lot of meanings, some completely different from this.
In China, for example, chrysanthemums are associated with wealth, prosperity and long life. Also they're symbols of new life and reincarnations, so they're the perfect gift for old people or newborns.
While in Japan chrysanthemums are symbols of power and royalty. And that's even more fitting for Remus, because he's a Duke, so he is royalty.
But chrysanthemum also symbolizes friendship - and not just "a friendship", but a meaningful one. It's a symbol of loyalty, devotion, romantic/platonic love and, in general, positive energy. It's a flower with an incredibly strong meaning, so it can't be given too lightly.
And this makes it even more perfect for Remus. It's a flower with a huge plurality of meanings, it's both associated with life and death, it's powerful and it's royalty.
Also, you can eat it. Isn't that the perfect Remus flower?
(On a side note: please notice how chrysanthemums and sunflowers are both associated with joy, loyalty and devotion. I would have never considered "joy" a common trait between Janus and Remus while loyalty and devotion... well, they both care about Thomas and his career and they both work for him despite not being accepted, so I can see why those are common traits.)
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Patton: Nemophila
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Surprise surprise, this flower wasn't easy to find. I’ve never heard of it, so I had to search among endless lists of blue flowers, hoping to find one that would perfectly match the one on the shirt.
And that’s how I found nemophila.
First of all: nemophila is also known as "Baby Blue Eyes" and it's an extremely rare color to find in nature. It’s very famous in Japan, thanks to the Hitachi Seaside Park. Open this link: it’s a literal sea of blue and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Of course, it attracts people every year.
Nemophila represents prosperity, congratulations on success and victory. Not the first things you would associate with Patton, right?
Well, while I was searching more informations about this flower, I found out this website about the essence of Baby Blue Eyes and the passage I quoted down below has the exact same words you can find on that link:
With its pronounced affinity for water, the Baby Blue Eyes flower essences addresses qualities of tender sensitivity, innocence and trust associated one’s early childhood relationship to the father, or other significant masculine figures that are in some way disturbed.
Very often the father was absent, or there was a lack of support or genuine presence. The Baby Blue Eyes type attempts over time to cover this wound of vulnerability with a false “hardening,” such as emotional distancing, mistrust, cynicism or spiritual alienation. It is a flower that can be equally helpful for men or women, although it is especially needed for many men who struggle to become strong, by disowning their pain.
So nemophilia’s essence has qualities associated with childhood, to the father figure and attempts to “repress” and hide emotions.
That’s Patton. That’s him, period. The childhood-related emotions, that are linked to Patton’s longing for “a simpler time”. The mentions of a father figure - who migh be absent or showing lack of support (like, idk, suggesting you should die so your friends live?). And the attempt to “cover the vulnerability” doesn’t remind you anything? Like the Nostalgia episodes?
This flower is Patton.
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Logan: Blue petunia
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I would like to say, from the bottom of my heart, a huge "FUCK YOU" to this flower, because I spent TWO DAYS searching all the blue flowers in the world and all possible variants, asking myself why this goddamn flower looked so familiar and why it was so hard to find. Blue isn't even a common color in nature, so why couldn't I find it?
I've learned more about blue flowers in these two days than in my entire life. I've searched among flowers I never saw before, like glandora diffusa, leschenaultia and omphalodes verna. I was so desperate to consider this flower a new species, with the petals of a bellflower and the corolla of a morning glory. I even found a goddamn chinese variant of the morning glory that was somehow similar but not that much and why, WHY this was so hard to find?!
And then, after two days and a lot more desperation, I remembered: my dear friend @reptilianwithscallions​ told me about a post they made, regarding this shirt and the flowers. Maybe they had some idea about Logan's flower?
Well, let's all thank my saviour and this post, because otherwise I would've kept searching until the end of my days.
Long story short, Logan's flower is a fucking blue petunia.
And it's a very peculiar choice, because petunias have multiple meanings, several of which can be contradictory.
In general, petunia symbolizes anger and resentment. It reminds someone that you're still angry or disappointed by their actions and you haven’t gotten over the things that caused these feelings.
Oh my, I didn't know we were back in Logan's playlist. It's basically what he kept expressing towards Thomas with his songs: that he was angry at Thomas for his decision, that he doesn't approve that Thomas hasn't "a real job" and so on. Petunia is a flower that screams passive-aggressive, so it's perfect for Logan.
But petunia's meaning deeply changes, depending on the color of the flower. And while petunia in general symbolizes anger, a blue petunia is a symbol of peacefulness, intimacy and deep trust, shared between two or more people. It's so wholesome, because the deep trust reminds me - again - of Logan's playlist and how it ended: no matter what, he and Thomas are always best friends.
Also, petunia flowers have even a secret meaning behind. Since they’re also gifted to new neighbors or to people who have just moved into a new home, they represent a perfect welcome and a way to express affection and kindness to others.
You’re lucky to be so wholesome, you tricky flower.
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Virgil: Perennial Geranium
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Geranium is a confused flower.
Some of the other flowers have conflicted meanings, but not as much as this flower. These are the most common meanings I found:
Folly or Stupidity
Gentility and kind nature
Clever minds
Ingenuity
Melancholy
Perfect gift for a bride
You can gift it to someone with whom you have planned a meeting 
You can gift it to someone with whom you haven't planned a meeting, just to make them feel welcomed
True Friendship
See? It’s confused.
Aside from jokes, this variety of meanings is due to its great diffusion: since geraniums grow everywhere, every culture gave them a different meaning. And sometimes these meanings depend on the situation too.
Awww, isn't it perfect for Virgil? He can be good and bad at the same time. Anxiety can be bad for Thomas and detrimental for his life, but it can also be the alarm Thomas needs. It depends on the situation.
And, just like geraniums in general symbolize positive emotions, happiness and friendship, so Virgil is in general a good guy. All he does is for Thomas' wellbeing, not against him.
And this is confirmed by the vast use of geranium's essential oil. It's one of the most popular and it has a ton of properties: anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-depressant, decongestant, relaxing and so on. Just like our Virge boy can be incredibly useful under the right circumstances. (Did someone say "Flirting with social Anxiety"?)
Also, geraniums are simple, humble flowers that usually grow outside, but then we take them and make them part of our homes. Once again, it’s Virgil: he's an outsider, he's humble, he talks bad about himself - but Thomas and the others took him and made him part of the famILY anyway.
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Thomas: Cherry blossom
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I searched this flower everywhere and the only one that looks like the one on the shirt is the cherry blossom. Why did Thomas make a cherry blossom with eight petals, when they all have five? I have no idea. Is this a different flower, maybe? Maybe, but I’m done: I've looked at enough flowers and I don’t have any strength left.
As you probably already know, cherry blossoms are extremely important in Japan. They're beautiful, they're everywhere and they're meaningful.
Why? Because cherry blossoms are considered the perfect metaphor for human existence. When they blossom it's a pink ocean, a party, people go to admire them - but they’re short lived, because in two weeks, the blossoms start to fall. It's just like human life: a small, rich, glorious parenthesis in the void. Something little and precious that ends soon.
But cherry blossoms also symbolize rebirth, optimism, hopes and dreams. When they bloom, it means springtime is coming and spring has always been associated with renewal.
That’s a very good choice for character Thomas. He’s basically a cherry blossom, the whole series is: something that reminds us how beautiful life is, how multi-faceted, how important. Just like Thomas' single being encompasses seven different sides of himself, so life presents a wide range of choices, of aspects, of flavours. All beautiful, all worthy of appreciation, no matter how different they can be from you and your experience.
And this becomes even more important, in relation to the passage of time and the transience of life. Because life is short and, after that, there won't be any more time to appreciate anything.
In addition to that, I would like to point out how the theme of passage of time is something we already saw in the series. And not just one time, but several. Since the first season, we have episodes all around the concept of growing up, growing old, not being a child anymore, becoming an adult. And the last Aside keeps going in this direction. It's clear this is a big theme and its connection with the cherry blossoms proves it.
But why is the flower so different on the shirt? Because Thomas wanted to mess up with us? Probably. Almost certainly. Once again, thank you Mr. Sanders for making me question everything.
The floor is (figuratively) yours now: if you have any other information, thoughts or opinions, feel free to share them.
_______________________________
TAGLIST:
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hoonhrt · 3 years
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MUSIC SHOP 
: pairing — idol! heeseung x music store worker! reader 
: genre — fluff 
: album recc. — case study 01 by daniel caesar and any of the albums i mentioned throughout the story! 
: a/n — this is a little more on the lengthier side so please know that before reading! (i couldn’t help myself i luv hee too much) 
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it was a slow day at the shop. the dim fairy lights hung around lowly, making the atmosphere feel even slower. you walked around the store pushing a small grey cart that held all the albums, records, and cassette tapes one could ever imagine of, placing everything in their correct spots for future consumers to find. 
the sound of a faint bell was heard from the back of the store. where you were, indicating that someone had came in. you flatten out the front of your sweater and rush to greet the costumer. you are met with a tall man dressed in all black from head to toe, water droplets fell off the shoulder of his jacket and you make a mental note to mop the floor later. 
“hello! welcome to moonshines music. please let me know if you need help with anything, i’ll be happy to assist!” you cheerfully exclaim. you welcome costumers with a joyful energy that even cheers them up, it was your thing. the costumer pulled down the black mask from his face and waited for you to react. he was a slightly astonished when a reaction never came. no gasps, no eyes widening, no realization of who he was. just you with a firm smile on your face waiting for him to walk away and start shopping. he eyes you for a little before nodding his head and makes his way to the direction of the CD albums.
he pondered this feeling for a little. he wasn’t used to not being recognized. i mean, everyone knows him. he was on ever magazine cover and topped all the charts with his music. his face was plastered on every product poster that covered the walls of the busy city. so how could you not? he thinks that maybe you didn’t want to scare him off or bother him with pictures and autographs,  inflating his ego a little bit. but still, why did you not say anything? 
“excuse me! do you mind helping me out?” you could hear his voice from across the store as he shouted for you. jogging from your previous to his still figure. 
“how can i help you?” continuing on your energetic personality. he didn’t have a real reason to ask for help, he was just too intrigued by you and needed a reason to converse with you. he looks around the store frantically for a minuet before looking back behind him to the CD’s he initially walked towards. “can you choose an album for me?” he blurts in your face loudly. 
this wasn’t the first time someone asked for music recommendations but he walked in with confidence so you assumed he was a man who knew his music. “uhh yes um— do you perhaps have favourite genre that you maybe like?” you question him. he just stares at you, his lips folded in with a blank expression on his face. he shakes his head no. you politely nod again, now even more conflicted with what to recommend. you trail your eyes around the store till you see through the window next to the door. the sky is crying, whilst gray clouds surround it. the streetlight emitting an orange hue that reflect the fallen rain drops on the glass and you suddenly remember the small drops of water that trickled down his jacket sleeve when he first entered the store. 
walking behind him you scan for the letter D section and begin to search for the album. letting out a soft ‘hmm’ before pulling out the album and handing it to him. “Case Study 01 by Daniel Caesar. perfect for rainy days when you aren’t lost in your thoughts.” you end with a smile on your face. ‘so they really have no idea to who I am, huh’ he thinks to himself. he looks down at the album in his hands than looking back up at you. a gentle smile reaching his lips. he follows you to the cashier register and pushes the album towards you. “that’ll be $10.15! card or cash?” he whips out his wallet and takes out a credit card. you can’t help but notice it was a black card, a card only the richest of people have. you wonder how this man can be so rich and why he is buying from a tiny music store in the middle of a unknown area. 
you’re pulled away from your thoughts when the sound of the machine goes off,  indicating the purchase has gone through. you delicately place the album into a tiny bag and hand it over to him with glee. “enjoy the album sir! if you ever do comeback, let me know what you thought about it!” you say in a courteous manner. the young man now looks at you with a toothy grin on display for you to awe at. he nods in affirmation before exiting. the atmosphere becoming quiet again. you hoped to see that man again. 
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another week has rolled around. you hum under your breath a silly little tune from a song on one of your many playlists, sending another customer off a new record they seemed to be extremely excited about. your job wasn’t much but seeing people share the same love for music as you was something that never failed to make you love life. wiping down the cashier, you hear the door chime and see the same handsome man from last week. you catch a glimpse of the clear sky and the natural light of the sun from out the door as he enters. 
“i LOVED that album! you described it literally perfectly, it fit the vibes of the weather sooo much but didn’t leave me agonizing about life like how the rain usually makes me feel.” it made you so happy and almost accomplished to have someone come back and praise you for your music choice. you were about to start telling him it was no big deal before he proposes, again, to choose another album for him. you look at him a little unsure, you honestly didn’t know what to give him this time and you were scared he wouldn’t like it this time. he can see the anxiety flush over your face but lets you know he is looking for something this time. “give me your childhood favourite album. like, you know every single lyric for every song on this album.” your eyes go wide as you practically jump towards the shelf. he giggles quietly, thinking how cute you looked. 
you prance towards the shelf knowing exactly where it was. in your hands was the Up All Night by One Direction, you shove the album into his hands with a passionate smile. he looks at you and tries to hide his judgment from you, which doesn’t work as you can see his eyebrow arch up and study the album in slight disgust. “hey! i danced to this album every night before i went to sleep for 3 years as a kid okay? it’s my favourite album!” your bottom lip pushes out, gazing at him with eyes the resemble a cute puppy. he throws his head back lets out a laugh that you think you could listen to for hours on end. 
just as the prior week, he passes you the album to scan through and pulls out his card to pay. he was about to make his way out before you stop him. “can I have your name?” you requested. you took a liking to the kind guy, he had a pretty face and laugh that you particularly enjoyed. he checks his phone and swiftly swipes through the millions of notifications he has, then gazing back up at you. a genuine look plastered on your face. a look that feigned innocence, kept promises, and truly enjoyed life for what it was. “heeseung. my name is heeseung.” 
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you tug the key out of the door lock with a little force. the moon created a source of light and comfort as you made your way away from the shop and towards the subway station. you worked longer than usual and fatigue was the only thing felt within your weak bones. a car pulled up next to you, the window rolled down and revealed the person that has been occupying your thoughts recently, heeseung. 
“on your way home?” you nod. “hop in, i’ll drive you home, we can listen to some music while we’re at it.” now you usually don’t just get into random peoples car, but you trusted him. who else would listen One Direction because someone asked them to? 
his car was black from top to bottom, mirroring his outfits that he always wore. the windows were tinted and it looked intimidating from the outside, but on the inside sat a doe-eyed boy with the prettiest smile to exist. heeseung’s hand reaches out to turn up the volume of the car sound system. the sound of Frank Ocean’s voice fills up the empty sound within his car. it was song you were unfamiliar with. you ask what song this was and he lets out a dramatic gasp, almost looking offended. “you DON’T know this song? I guess pretty people can have flaws huh,” he turns his head to watch you flush a pink shade that can still be seen despite the darkness. a sight he thinks is quiet lovable. 
the car ride to your home lasted much shorter than you wished it did. you two talked about everything under the moon. favourite songs, old childhood friends, past lovers. heeseung enjoyed the fact that you didn’t know his career identity. to the world he was Lee Heeseung, world renowned singer and model, but to you he was just, heeseung. a young boy who loved music and loved the world involved around it. you made him feel like a regular person again. 
as you open the car door to make way into the glass doors of your apartment complex, heeseung grabs your wrist and pulls you back into the car. “how about... i lend you my favourite album this time, and next week on—” he checks the schedule his manager sent him, “saturday at 6 pm, i pick you up and we can talk more about it hm?” he holds his phone towards you with a cheeky smile on his face. you shake your head in disbelief as you bit back a smile of your own that is creeping on to your face. “I’ll see you then, hee.” your heart skipping beats as you walk away from the running vehicle. 
unbeknownst to you, an excited heeseung punches the air rapidly with excitement. he silently screams into the night like a kid. feeling as if he was on cloud 9 to have scored a date with someone who’s a) the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and b) someone who likes him for his truest self. 
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angelecho · 3 years
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Can I request some First date hc's for Karasuno? 🌼
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going by jersey number order and then the two managers!
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Daichi Sawamura:
→ i feel like he's a really old fashioned guy
→ he'll show up to your house dressed nicely, and tell your parents that he'll bring you back before the curfew ends
→ he'll most likely take you out for dinner then go to the theater and watch a movie, then drive home together
→ he'll take multiple photos of you and send them all to you for your Instagram or for personal use
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Kōshi Sugawara
→ PICNIC DATE PICNIC DATE
→ the both of you will plan beforehand what kind of food/snacks/aesthetic you're going for, and then he'll go and set it up to surprise you
→ he'll play a Spotify playlist that he made just for you
→ and he'll "accidentally" have WAP in there
→ and he "accidentally" know the entire dance
→ and will "accidentally" dance it for you
→ also if you want this to come true, there's a literal playlist on youtube of this that I ABSOLUTELY live for
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Asahi Azumane
→ coffee date!!
→ it'll be at one of those really aesthetic cafes with nice sofas so that you two can talk in comfort
→ and maybe a walk around the neighborhood once you both finish your coffee
→ the walk might take a while because every time a person with a dog passes by, he'll ask to pet the dog
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Yū Nishinoya
→ he skateboards and you can pry that headcanon out of my cold, dead hands
→ he probably either teaches you how to skateboard or if you know how, then takes you around the neighborhood
"Noya, where are we going? We've just been going around in circles?"
"Shh, i know the popsicle vendor is somewhere here, but I somehow can't find it"
"... we passed it two blocks ago"
"whAT???"
→ after getting popsicles, he'll drop you off at your house first before going back to his
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Ryūnosuke Tanaka
→ he would rather die than admit it but he was really nervous making sure everything was perfect
→ he planned out a little day trip around the city (stops included the bakery, a park, a cafe for lunch, and then a movie)
→ he strikes me as the type of guy to dabble in photography so he would have a pretty nice camera around his neck to take photos of you around the city
→ like he would lie down on the middle of the road in traffic to make sure to get the best shot of you
→ he sends them all to you and probably keeps one of them in a photo frame on his desk to motivate him when he studies
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Chikara Ennoshita
→ he'll also take you on a day trip, but it's more of a one destination type of thing
→ the place is wherever you expressed the most interest in (ie: the zoo or the aquarium or the gardens, etc)
→ he'll also film parts of it (he won't tell you this yet, but he's planning to compile any and all videos of you to make a short movie/video for your one year anniversary)
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Hisashi Kinoshita
→ he would probably take you to an ice cream parlor!
→ after eating icecream he would probably take you on a walk around town and buy you a flower
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Kazuhito Narita
→ baking together!!
→ one of you would probably end up burning something on accident, but it would still be fun
→ some sort of feel-good movie would probably be playing in the background
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Tobio Kageyama
→ to be honest, he's a bit newer at love in general, so if you were to look at his search history it's literally just
"what do you do on a first date"
"first date best places to go to"
"is it too early to kiss on the first date"
→ and Hinata is of absolutely no help (no surprise there)
→ in the end, Daichi suggested that he go watch a movie with you
→ so he did, you guys ended up watching a movie but Kageyama fell asleep because he got up at 4 in the fucking morning to practice volleyball with Hinata before school
→ he ends up accidentally cuddling/clinging to you (which is absolutely adorable)
→ he wakes up near the last 5 minutes of the movie, and unclings himself from you in an embarassed frenzy, but was relieved to see you were asleep and probably didn't notice (news flash: you were awake but pretended to sleep to save him his dignity)
→ you guys end up texting late into the night after getting home
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Shōyō Hinata
→ he would take you to the amusement park or whatever state fair is going on locally!!
→ somehow??? he doesn't get lost and can always find you, despite constantly disappearing for the first half of the date
→ you both go on rides together and he does the rope ladder to get you a giant stuffed animal and goes again to get one for himself
"Shoyo, how did you even get up that? twice?? It's rigged to make it hard."
"Oh, I know it's rigged. I purposely built one exactly like it so I could get used to it and practiced on it"
"damn"
→ the entire way home he's smiling ear to ear and waves you goodbye
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Kei Tsukishima
→ for your first date you guys go get coffee and walk around and come back home
→ the next day when Tanaka pesters him about it he's confused
"how was your date?"
"What date?"
"??? did you not go somewhere with y/n?"
"I did go somewhere...we went to the coffee shop."
"mhm, and??"
"and what?"
"AND??? you're dating them!!"
"oh shit-"
→ so he apologizes and asks to go on another "first" date, to which you agree
→ you guys end up going on a study date at the library followed by another cup of coffee
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Tadashi Yamaguchi
→ he would take you to a place like color-me-mine and have a duo spotify playlist to play while painting
→ at the end, he would take you to get a meal at a local restaurant or cafe before walking you back home
→ when you get it back a few weeks later, he would the one he painted to you as a gift
→ it's a beautifully painted coffee cup in your favorite aesthetic
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Bonus!:
Hitoka Yachi
→ Yachi was talking with Kiyoko about where to take you because she wanted it to be perfect
→ Tanaka overheard and suggested a beach trip, to which she agreed was a good idea
→ however, what was not mentioned was that Tanaka and Nishinoya would be following along
→ they promised to be quiet and "unnoticeable" but that meant that they were wearing terrible disguises (Tobiyolo Swaggeyama part 2)
→ the trip overall was hilarious and you both had a good time and fell asleep on the ride back home (Tanaka got a photo but it ended up being shaky because Saeko was driving them home, but it was a picture nonetheless)
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Kiyoko Shimizu → she would probably take you on a light bike ride around the scenic part of town
→ of course, she would take photos of you whenever you asked
→ you would stop by a cafe to cool down before heading over to a pet cafe of some sort
→ the entire event would be lighthearted and fun
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
hope you enjoyed it!!
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Text
Wilbur’s Hair Salon (The Ashes of Yourself Blurb)
The Ashes of Yourself Masterlist
Spotify Playlist (collaborative)
Warnings: getting overwhelmed, swearing
Word count: 2,958
(A/N): this is a lil longer than I expected it to be (longer than the actual chapter I released today oop). Anyways, this could be read without having to read my Ashes of Yourself series, all you have to know is that Philza and Technoblade are absent a lot leaving Wilbur to raise Tommy and the reader and the reader is a blaze hybrid
You frowned at yourself in the mirror, running your hands through your long hair in distaste, the flames tickling your hands. The shears on the bathroom counter sat there taunting you, daring you to take them and cut off all of your hair. The broken water faucet in the sink dripped endlessly, reminding you of what happened when it first started dripping. The small charcoal spot on the back of your hand reminded you of how painful touching water was. 
You hated every aspect of your hair; the way it tickled your neck, the way it kept getting in your face, how people kept mistaking you for a girl, it was just so frustrating. You absolutely hated how fast your hair grew, one day you cut it close to your scalp and a week later it’s already at your shoulders! Your hair was the bane of your existence at the moment. 
You tried countless hairstyles ranging from buns to fancy updos, all of them proved to be useless in the end when you lost control of your emotions and the hair ties and bobby pins burnt to a crisp. You knew from experience that cutting your hair was useless, and so was shoving it all under a beanie you stole from Wilbur, so you gave up and let it grow out. That was a month ago and your hair now reached your lower back. 
Your frustration was growing by the second. The flames on your head flickered wildly and smoke plumed from the strands. You knew that in order to cut your hair you had to relax so that it was tangible, you knew that, but you just couldn’t relax. 
You snatched the shears off from the counter with one hand and gathered all of your hair in your other. The shears were positioned around your hair and without hesitation, you snapped the shears closed. Like you were expecting, the shears only swished through the flames and left them untouched. In a fit of frustration, you repeatedly closed the shears around your hair. The sharp edges did nothing to the length. 
You only paused when you felt something drip onto your forehead. In confusion, you looked at the mirror only to see the previously ivory white iron replaced with glowing oranges and reds. Bits were dripping off from the tool and onto your face. The flames thrashed in your grip, desperate to be unleashed and burn everything in this room to mere ashes. 
Molten tears pricked your eyes as you glared at the hair in your hand, frustrated blaze-like growls rumbling the back of your throat. You knew that if you let this fester any longer, the house would catch on fire (again). You closed your eyes and took deep breaths in an attempt to steady yourself.
It worked slightly for a few moments, the flames now calmly flickering and your hands at their normal temperature, however you could still feel the irritation gnawing on the deepest corners of your mind. 
You put down the cooled down and misshapen shears on the bathroom counter, wiped off the liquid iron from your forehead, and ripped open the door in search for the brother closest to you in age: Tommy.
He wasn’t that hard to find; all you had to do was follow the music to his room. Without knocking, you opened his door and stared at him. He sat up on his bed and looked at you in offence, “oi, what the fuck?! What if I was changing or something? You-” 
“Wanna commit arson?” 
He paused and launched himself off from his bed, “I’m down for some arson, but what’s the occasion?” 
You led him down the stairs and towards the door, “ I’m mad at everything right now and I don’t want to burn down the house.” 
Just as you both were about to leave the house, someone clearing their throat sounded behind you. Your hand froze over the doorknob and you swore to yourself under your breath. Wilbur grabbed both of your shoulders and spun you both around. He was in his pajamas, rage peeking through his sleep clouded eyes. 
“Where do you two think you’re going at this time of night?” Despite only being nineteen years old, he has already perfected the angry dad voice. 
“(Y/n) and I were just going out for a walk, big man. No need to get your panties in a twist.” 
Wilbur’s eyes narrowed, “no you two weren’t. You were gonna go burn some shit again weren’t you?” 
“What does it matter to you where we go? Where we go is none of your business.” You ripped your shoulder out of his grasp and glared at him. You could feel your hair starting to flicker in anger.
He matched your glare with as much, if not more, intensity, “Dad put me in charge, so it’s actually all of my business to know where you’re going at midnight.” 
“Just leave us the fuck alone, Wilbur. You have no idea how much I need this.” 
“Listen Wilbur,” Tommy said warily after feeling the heat radiating off from your body, “(y/n) just needs to get their mind off from things. I wasn’t gonna actually let them commit arson again.”
This made Wilbur pause. Normally Tommy would back you up in arguments but now the oldest could feel the slight urgency in the blond’s voice. He looked back at you and saw that you were quite literally about to combust. He could hear the small blaze noises that you were making as pitch black irises and pale yellow sclera glared at him. Small plumes of smoke were rising from your figure and dissipating into the air the second it met with the ceiling. 
Wilbur then sighed and grabbed his coat, a sword, and, to your surprise, two pairs of flint and steel. “C’mon then,” he gestured to the front door, “let’s go. But only trees this time, got it?” Despite his exasperation and exhaustion with basically raising two preteens that thrived off from arson, he smiled slightly when he saw both of them perk up. They were his youngest siblings and he wanted nothing more than to see them happy.
After finding a lone tree and clearing it of any potential animals and mobs, the siblings lit it on fire. The feeling of finally releasing some pent up anger and frustration was slightly relieving. Though some of your frustration remained, you felt a little more at ease.
Wilbur led both you and Tommy away from the burning tree and sat down on top of a grassy hill, lighting torches to prevent any mobs from sneaking up on you three. The siblings sat in comfortable silence as they watched the flickering flames cut through the darkness of the night. Tommy’s and Wilbur’s faces were lit up in a dull orange hue. 
Eventually, you leaned your head on Wilbur’s shoulder tiredly and yawned loudly. The brunet chuckled to himself and moved to wrap his arms around both of his siblings, pulling them close to his side. You sighed in content and nuzzled your face closer to his side. The blaze of the tree had died down to mere embers and charcoal remains. 
“...Why don’t we go inside before we all fall asleep out here.” Wilbur nudged both of you gently and helped you stand up. 
“I don’t need help, arsehole,” Tommy protested, but did nothing to stop Wilbur from helping him up. “I,” he cut himself off with a large yawn. You, seeing this, yawned yourself. 
“Sure,” Wilbur chuckled and put a steadying hand on yours and Tommy’s shoulders, steering you back towards the house. The siblings walked back into the house where, instead of letting you both go to your separate rooms, Wilbur plopped you both onto the couch and sat between the both of you. He once again wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you both close to his body. 
“The fuck are you doing, Wil?” Tommy protested, weakly trying to push himself away from his older brother. 
Wilbur tightened his grip and slumped down onto the couch, making himself comfortable. “This calls for sibling cuddle time. It’s been a while since we’ve done this anyway.” 
“There’s a reason why we haven’t done this in a while,” Tommy complained, “we’re too old for this shit.” 
“So you want to-” Wilbur’s snarky remark was interrupted by a soft snore coming from his side. He and Tommy stopped arguing and looked over to (y/n). The blaze hybrid’s lips were slightly parted as they snored peacefully, unconsciously nuzzling into Wilbur’s old t-shirt and moving to wrap an arm across Wilbur’s midsection. Their hand landed on Tommy’s long sleeve shirt and gripped it lightly. 
“What the fuck, (y/n).” 
“Tommy I swear to the gods if you wake them up I will make you do all of the chores for a week.” 
Tommy grumbled to himself before he reluctantly leaned his head against Wilbur’s side and putting his hand over (y/n)’s, “fine, but I’m only staying because I don’t want to do your fucking chores again.” 
“Mhm, now go to sleep, Toms, it’s getting late.” 
Tommy fell silent and let himself drift off to sleep. Soon enough, Wilbur himself drifted off to sleep, pulling his siblings closer to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you woke up, you were alone on the couch. Sunlight was streaming through the opened curtains and blinded your sensitive eyes. The scent of eggs and toast wafted throughout the house. 
You stretched and made your way to the kitchen. There, Wilbur was standing at the stove flipping eggs and Tommy was sitting at the table with his head burrowed into the crook of his elbow. 
“It’s about time you woke up, I was starting to get worried that you’d sleep until noon,” Wilbur said before he placed plates at the table. He reached over to lightly smack the back of Tommy’s head, “no sleeping at the table.” 
The blond grumbled to himself before pushing himself up onto an elbow and scooping food into his mouth. Wilbur’s eyes narrowed at his elbow on the table before he sighed to himself and ate his own portion of breakfast. 
“So, what’s going on with you? It’s been a while since you wanted to burn something down like that,” Tommy asked you after waking up a little bit more. Wilbur looked over at you in question. 
You sighed and poked at your food, “it’s really stupid.” 
“If it was enough for you to almost completely melt the shears, it isn’t stupid, (y/n). What’d I say about talking about your emotions?” Wilbur softly chided you. 
“‘Don’t call your emotions stupid’,” you droned out before taking a bite of your breakfast, “but this time it really is stupid, Wilby. You both will laugh at me anyways, so just drop it.” 
“We’d never laugh at you,” Wilbur frowned, “and whatever you’re feeling certainly isn’t stupid. Tell us, we’re all ears.” 
You looked up from your plate and saw that they both were looking at you with judgemental free stares. Though his eyes were previously clouded with sleep, Tommy now looked alert and diverted his full attention to you while Wilbur gave you an encouraging smile. 
“...Fine, it’s just… I couldn’t cut my hair last night and it’s just been so overwhelming to constantly deal with. You both know how fast it grows.” You ran a hand over the top of your hair and huffed in frustration. 
“That’s it?” Tommy asked you before Wilbur kicked his shin from under the table. “What Tommy meant to say,” he shot a pointed look at the twelve year old, “is that feeling overwhelmed, no matter what it’s about, is completely normal. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. I’ll tell you what,” he cleared his throat and stood up from his place at the table, “I’ll be right back.” As he passed Tommy’s place, he leaned down close to his ear, “apologize before I get back.” 
You winced at Wilbur’s scathing tone and watched as he walked out of the room in long strides. 
“Sorry,” you and Tommy told each other at the same time. Both of you looked at each other in slight shock, “what-” you cut yourself off as you realized that you both said the same thing again. 
You both eyed each other warily from across the table, watching the other’s mouths closely. You took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “sorry Toms. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.” 
“Wha- I’m the one that’s supposed to say sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one that’s an arsehole that doesn’t think before he speaks, so I’m sorry.” He narrowed his eyes at you, daring you to say another word. As you opened your mouth to object, he sharply said, “ah! No apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong.” 
You snapped your mouth closed and sighed, propping yourself up onto your elbow. “...You know that I’ll always forgive you no matter what you do, right Tommy?”
“Of course, and I’ll always defend you as well. Even if you end up murdering someone, I’ll help you hide the body. It’s just what older brothers are supposed to do.” 
“So,” you grinned at him, “you’re down for murder now?” 
“Nobody’s murdering anybody.” Wilbur’s voice made the both of you jump. When you both whipped your heads over to the doorway, you saw Wilbur leaning against the doorframe and watching you two with a fond smile. He pushed himself off from the doorframe and placed a wrapped box in front of you. 
“I was waiting until your birthday,” he sat down next to you, “but now is as good a time as ever to give this to you.” 
After a while of hesitance, you ripped the wrapping paper off from the box and peered inside of it. There, a glimmering pair of shears and leather gloves were laying on the bottom of the box. “Woah, are these enchanted?” You looked up at Wilbur with awe filled eyes. 
He looked at you with a wide smile and nodded eagerly, “yes! Both are enchanted with fire protection so you can cut your hair easier!” 
“That is so poggers! Wanna cut your hair now?!” Tommy was leaning across the table and looking into the box with wide, excited eyes. You snatched the gloves out of the box and handed them to him, “yes! Do you wanna cut my hair?!” 
He grabbed the gloves and put them on hastily, jumping out of his chair and darting towards the door. You grabbed the shears and attempted to follow him before Wilbur stopped you with a hand on your shoulder, looking slightly alarmed, “he is not cutting your hair.”
“Well, why not?”
“He isn’t cutting your hair and that’s final. Give me the shears and we can safely cut it in the bathroom.” He held his hand out and gave you a smile, “I know you’re excited, but I just don’t want anyone losing a finger under my watch. That’d be really hard to explain to Dad.” 
You sighed and put the shears into his hand. He led you towards the bathroom and you followed him closely, “I miss Dad, do you know when he’s coming home?” 
“I don’t know, little inferno. Just- just don’t think about him and he’ll be home before you know it.” His tone had a hidden sharp edge to it as he put a hand on your opposite shoulder and lightly squeezed it. “I know it’s hard without him, but we’ll always have each other. Just you, me, and Tommy. We don’t need them as long as we have each other.” 
“Are you two coming or not?!” Tommy poked his head out from the bathroom, staring at you both with slight annoyance. “We are and you are not cutting their hair.” 
“Well,” Tommy scoffed and wiggled his fingers, the light bouncing off from the oversized gloves perfectly, “who has the gloves?” 
You and Wilbur stepped into the bathroom with him guiding you to sit on the closed toilet seat and leaning your head over the sink. Wilbur raised his eyebrows and wiggled the shears in his hand, “who has the shears and the ability to ground you for a few weeks?” 
Tommy huffed and took off the gloves, giving them to Wilbur who slipped them onto his hands. Wilbur grinned cheekily, “that’s what I thought.” He gathered your hair into one hand and looked at you in question, “ready?” 
You grinned back at him, “as ready as I’ll ever be.” 
The shears sliced through your hair with ease and you watched as the fire dissipated into the air. Tommy watched as it floated up in the air and smiled to himself as it disappeared before hitting the ceiling. 
After your haircut, you sat up and looked at yourself in the mirror. It was like Wilbur had read your mind, your hair was exactly how you wanted it. When you looked back at him, he was looking at you with a tender smile. Just as you were about to thank him, Tommy spoke up in a casual tone.
“So Wilbur,” he asked, “would you help us hide a body if one of us accidentally murdered someone?” 
“...Tommy, (y/n), is there something you’re not telling me?” 
“Is that a yes or a no?” You asked him after giving Tommy a quick mischievous smile.
Wilbur slipped the gloves off and tapped his chin in thought. “...I would, that’s what older brothers are for. Hiding bodies for their younger siblings,” he chuckled to himself before he stopped himself and looked at you both slightly nervously, “seriously though, is there something you both aren’t telling me?”
General taglist (comment if you want to be added):
@crybabyjabby  @izzybobizzy13  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @bunnyz-pxstel  @averytiredfanfictionwriter  @dcml04  @sparkling-gayyyy  @bbigbbrainn  @thaticecreambish  @kiinokochii  @satansphatass  @bxkubitch  @bxmentchildxx  @roxy3457  @montygator17  @feverish-dove  @the-fictionwriters-hairdo  @jichuuchaeng  @404rynnotfound  @luluwinchester  @laura--444  @the-cult-classic-bitch  @youngstarfishdinosaur  @nottheotheruser  @ohworm-writes  @localwolfanon  @realitycanbeajerk  @v10dw4lk3r  @esylwen  @seraphsema  @boiled-onionrings  @smolgreenybeany  @louistommosnesquickmilk  @galaxios  @ryxjxnnx  @autumnpleaves  @ravennightingaleandavatempus  @0ton1n  @self-righteous-dumbass  @a-simp-for-block-people  @fortunatelylazystranger  @m1lkmandan  @mirios-sunflower  @ahmya-4  @shinipii  @noyasblush  @auroraskyfall  @cryptocry  @hee-hee-haw
Gender neutral reader taglist (comment if you want to be added):
@totem-awooga  @parkeepingparker  @whatislifebutlemons
SBI taglist (comment if you want to be added):
@afifaj
Series taglist (comment if you want to be added):
@appetiteofapeoplepleaser  @misfortunatem00n  @hee-hee-haw  @bi-narystars  @akikko-yataro  @snapple311  @jo171718  @alex--awesome--22  @cinnamonmochi  @waterstrawberry  @jefferyepsteindidntkillhimself  @imamusicalnerd  @fo-love  @sylum  @theshitinmytrunk  @rinzyx05  @wasteofspacze  @bands-are-amazingly-addicting  @im-a-depressed-gay  @charlotte-is-missing  @s-n1428  @lifestylesleep  @dame-sunflowers  @bongwaterflavoredgatorade  @aestheticpkmntrainer  @emma-the-duck17  @pek0ra  @wreny24  @willow404  @shiningsunrises  @vanhakirja  @dont-hug-me-im-a-fander  @soulless42  @giavanna  @ijustshatbricks  @depressed-focker  @a-mistake-tbh  @jaciahbabes  @s0urbear  @exorcisms-with-elmo  @perseus-666  @aikochan4859  @cutiebear45  @softie7563  @whatislifebutlemons  @nagitokinnieissad  @angelicaschuyler-church  @poggers-froggers  @kiritokunuwu  @ayuoudro  @rubberduckyqueen  @demure--daisy  @mythicalamphitrite  @spiralingtoinsanity  @ugabuugaa  @bananaaddictmilkshake  @supahumbreon  @starstruckeds  @kakamiissad  @trix-cake  @beginnerwitchgrimoire  @theseventhreincarnation  @ilyimagines  @jax-cote  @binas-idea-vault  @marceline1212  @bloodgoddessoftherealm  @plaguedoctorsnake  @akaza-ryu  @vizi0n  @asterlie  @imapotatoandimconfused  @none-the-wiser  @yoongi-holland  @keiarma  @humm1ngj  @marvelous-maximofffs  @imasimpfortechno  @kusuinko  @queenthorin1  @artichoke-me-please  @queenthorin1
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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years
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haikyuu!! + things they were doing on the internet when they were like... 12
a/n: is this also a call-out post for myself and a way to make fun of things i did? yes
Hinata: playing those free to play weird-ass games on y8.com when he’s not fighting over the computer with his sister
Kageyama: watching ‘top ten best sets in volleyball games with slow-motion’ again and again until his sister taught him how to use youtube
Tsukishima: writing long essays that he posts on facebook about how much twilight sucks and how much he hates it. definitely had a twilight phase
Yamaguchi: secretly writing twilight fanfiction and posting them on wattpad. he got pretty famous for them but he’ll never talk about it
Ennoshita: played Feeding Frenzy a lot. like, a Lot. this man was a literal god
Tanaka: MAKING PUNK/EMO EDITS OF HIS FAVORITE CELEBRITIES. his masterpiece was punk harry styles feat. 6 earrings and a neck tattoo
Nishinoya: watching american ninja warrior compilations but the ones with ‘eye of the tiger’ edited over them to make them extra awesome
Daichi: coming up with his own inspirational quotes that are kind of terrible like ‘even though i’ve been beaten down, i’ll always get back up’ and posting them on facebook thinking that he’ll inspire people somehow
Sugawara: watching ‘Hetalia Ep. 25 VIETSUB|SPN|ENG subtitles pt. 2/28′ on youtube. either that or ouran high school host club idk this guy had a phase
Asahi: taking a whole bunch of those ‘what your fashion says about you’ quizzes until he eventually made one himself as well as a polyvore account
Oikawa: reading and writing doctor who fanfiction before eventually getting into sherlock and supernatural. yes, he shipped destiel. yes, the destiel canon thing on november ruined him
Iwaizumi: he was really into looking up random animal videos like ‘tarantula vs. scorpion fight’ and stuff like monster bug wars from animal planet and when oikawa made fun of his search history he figured out how to delete it
Hanamaki: vibing to the Phineas and Ferb songs playlist that he made on youtube (of course the aglet song is his favorite one)
Matsukawa: a true tumblr child and was there when this hellsite was first birthed. he remembers the tumblr wars between the fandom and the hipster blogs all too well
Ushijima: didn’t know what the internet was until tendou realized he didn’t have a skype so he made an account for him. until now, ushijima’s status still says ‘hi, wakatoshi here’
Tendou: watching a whole bunch of minecraft song parodies on youtube before eventually making them himself 
Semi: either learning guitar through youtube videos or looking up ‘how to play lucky by jason mraz EASY VERSION | NO BAR CHORDS’ 
Shirabu: he used only Google+ as his social media and wondered why he wasn’t getting any friends
Goshiki: this kid was blessed to be twelve years old when the lego movie came out so he most definitely just used the internet to listen to ‘everything is awesome’ again and again
Kuroo: definitely a fandom kid, one of those from the six major book fandoms (hp, pjo, hg). used to run a fricking roleplay group on tumblr and his oc’s always have a Dark Backstory
Kenma: youguysaregonnacomeformebut--- SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FANFICTION OKAY BYE
Yaku: playing Pet Society on facebook. is it such a coincidence to see him so decked out and rich now when his pet had the same lifestyle? nO
Lev: playing those papa louie games (papa’s pizzeria, papa’s burgeria, etc) and trying to force the game to crash by serving customers 500 chicken wings
Bokuto: as soon as he got a skype account, he’d pretty much voice call anyone and everyone he saw had an ‘active’ status on but his friends didn’t have the heart to switch their status to ‘inactive’
Akaashi: was the king of making ‘which ___ character would be into you (for girls and gays only!!!)’ quizzes that are very detailed. he’d even make a whole character profile with a ‘how you met them’ at the end
Atsumu: used to secretly watch episodes of ‘boys over flowers’ and ‘meteor garden’ on the computer when he was alone at home. eventually got into girl’s generation and super junior
Osamu: a master at playing poptropica and even had a whole gig making poptropica walkthroughs for other people. sometimes he’d play club penguin and get himself kicked out for swearing just for fun
Suna: looking up ‘demons by imagine dragons with lyrics’ on youtube and just playing it on loop. his desktop wallpaper says ‘don’t get too close, it’s dark inside’
Kita: didn’t know what the internet was until suna and aran took pity on him and helped him create a facebook account. until now, his profile pic is still a picture of his jersey number and he has 99+ unchecked notifications
Sakusa: his cousin introduced him to sims. except, sakusa doesn’t play ‘for fun’ but to vicariously live the average salaryman life through his virtual character (he named him steve)
▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂
taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist):@montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh​ @charliefredb​ @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @atsumusdomain​ @goodfoodxoxoxo​ @ah-kaashi​ @guardianangelswings @definitely-yours @amberalisa @whootwhoot​ @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs​ @procrastination-lady
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babydaddyleorio · 3 years
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bnha: having a theatre s/o
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For my thespians 😩☝🏾
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Izuku
-Izuku absolutely loves helping you practice. 
-He would go over the script with you, taking the place of the other characters as he reads just so you could practice your role fluently.
-Another thing to keep in mind is that Izuku can not act to save his life. 
-He’s kind of nervous and occasionally will say things like “oops, wrong line” or “where are we again?”  when reading from the script. His voice has a ton of forced emotion and he also tends to awkwardly move his body when he follows the stage directions. 
-Even though he’s not that good on the stage himself, he offers great advice when It comes to the way you perform. He will tell you If you need to add more expression in a particular scene or If you accidentally skipped doing something.
-If you have to design the set, Izuku is right alongside you drawing out sketches and coming up with the correct dimensions for props. He has such a serious look on his face as he’s doing mental calculations on where something should go and you think it’s so adorable.
-Izuku always makes time to go see your plays.
-When he gets there, he is literally so invested in what's happening and is following the storyline very well. He laughs at the cheesy jokes being made and his eyes will water If something sad happens. The person beside him will slyly offer him a tissue because he’s literally bawling his eyes out.
-When the play is over, he stands in the hall and waits as his eyes search the room for you. Once he finally sees you walking towards him through the crowd of people, he immediately perks up.
-”You were incredible, y/n!” He would beam with the biggest smile on his face, hugging you tightly once he reached you. 
Kirishima
-Kirishima is most definitely your biggest fan.
-He will pick you up from rehearsal everyday with a smile on his face and will ask you "So, how'd It go?" and when you tell him It went good, he would then smile harder.
-“I’m so excited, I can't wait to see you perform!” He would shout while pumping his fist in the air and a laugh would fall from your mouth at how eager he was.
-Kirishima is another person who has no qualms helping you build the set, in fact, he actually looks forward to It. He loves to help you paint cool designs on the props or move certain things around the stage.
-He will be very quiet If he notices that you’re practicing because he doesn’t want to distract you. 
-Loves doing improv with you. You guys end up making the most hilarious scenarios with each other and will end up breaking character with your uncontrollable laughter.
-Kirishima also enjoys the exercises and warm ups you have to do to get your voice and body ready for acting. This is his time to shine.
-If you’re nervous before you go on, Kirishima will reassure you. He would give you an encouraging speech or do deep breaths while holding your hands just in case you need some type of comfort.
-Kirishima makes sure to get a front row seat so he can be the first one to see you.
-His eyes will legit light up once he catches a glimpse of how stunning you look with your costume on. His eyes are always searching for you through the whole play, and will definitely whistle and clap loudly once your performance is over.
-You guys will go out to celebrate because Kirishima insisted on treating you to food for your stellar performance.
Todoroki
-Todoroki is familiar with the Idea of plays, but he’s never really seen one before. That’s why when you tell him that you’re going to be in the school’s next play, he’s kind of unsure of what to expect.
-Todoroki genuinely wants to know about this since this is something you enjoy, so he will binge watch plays on YouTube to get a clue on what you’ll be doing.
-Once he finished his marathon of various plays, Todoroki would be rushing to tell you about everything he discovered when researching them, but he stops dead in his tracks once he sees you in your costume
-He has to do a double take right quick because wow
-You look amazing.
-Whether your costume is a princess from medieval times or a 63 year old man, Todoroki still couldn’t believe how great you look.
-Todoroki thinks that you’re such a great actor and loves the confidence you exert when you’re on stage.
-He would be so inspired by you that sometimes when he’s looking at himself through the mirror in his bathroom, he would clear his throat and try to recite lines from the play with a deep voice.
-If It’s finally premiere night, he most likely invites the whole class.
-Once Intermission starts, he texts that you’re doing great with a smiley face at the end of It.
-After the play is finished, he would give you a banquet of flowers with a box of chocolate (or your favorite snack) in his other hand.
- “Your acting skills are outstanding, Y/n. I am really proud of you.” He would grin as he watched you bury your nose in the bundle of roses.
Sero
-Sero loves watching you rehearse your lines. It’s like music to his ears when he hears how you enunciate your words and how entrancing the tone of your voice is.
-And if you’re in musical theatre? He’s definitely toppling over once he hears how breathtaking your singing is.
-Sometimes Sero will sit in the empty audience and watch as you practice with your other classmates. He’ll stay the whole time, either observing you or will do his homework, and the director doesn’t mind either since Sero is so chill and supportive of everyone.
-And because the director likes him so much, he will also help you guys even if he’s not a part of the class. They assign him to go work in the workshop and bring out wood to help technical theatre and to tape things they can’t reach.
-Sero knows all the lyrics to the song you perform and mouths the lyrics to you just in case you forget them.
-He also has a whole playlist dedicated to theatre and you guys sing Hamilton loudly in the car whenever you hear a song come on.
-If you write your own plays he supports you 100%. 
-He likes sitting in bed and flipping through your script while holding a flashlight under his covers and would probably spend all night reading It.
-He would definitely text you in the morning how amazing your writing Is and that you would make a great playwright
-Literally won’t shut up to his friends about the play and It’s to the point where Denki has to take some tape from his elbow and stick It across his mouth.
-Sero will come to every showing you have. You really appreciate him too because It feels nice to have someone supporting you from the crowd.
-At the end of your play, Sero will give you a standing ovation with a ginormous smile shaping his lips.
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