#i just thing theyd be so confused its almost sad

[crypticjackal13]

Hello, there! I hope you're having a good day :Dc If it's no trouble, can I request Red Son, Nezha, SWK and Macaque meeting their s/o's family for the first time?? But here's the twist; s/o's family is really fracking wholesome, and their family never judges them once! Like,, they don't care about their god/demon/villain status - and: they didn't get nervous when Red Son or Macaque appears, nor did they immediately worship SWK or Nezha bc of the legends, they just treat them like they were any normal person, casually talking to them about their hobbies over dinner, and even once affectionately calling them their own "son"/"child". Basically, s/o's family really approves of them because they make their child happy, and doesn't judge them for who they are! :Dc These fellas gets a second family and they honestly deserve it-

THEY DO DESERVE IT YOU ARE CORRECT anyways here's some headcanons/scenarios since y'know stories are. difficult

Redson, Nezha, SWK, and Macaque Meeting their S/O's very supportive parents for the first time! Headcanons!(ROMANTIC)(GN)

Redson - so confused at first. He’s formal, prepared to justify everything about themselves to s/o’s parents. Probably was expecting them to be like his parents, but then they treat her not only nicely but also like a person and not some nasty creature?? What??? They may think they’re being tricked, but no, the s/o’s parents gush about their kid and then compliment Redson about his skills and how they’ve heard so much about them!! Dinner goes super well, and they send Redson home with the leftovers because “she needs some more meat on those bones!!” You talk to Redson after you two leave and ask them what he thought; Red bursts out crying /pos

Nezha - He goes in thinking he’ll have to explain everything about his past, surely s/o’s parents have heard about the terrifying Nezha? But to his delight they don't care about all that. They want their kid to be happy, and oh my what a strong young man you are! We’ve heard all about how sweet and protective you are!! He’s absolutely flabbergasted. He probably brought along some kind of food to offer them, and they literally love him so much! S/o has to reassure him he doesn’t have to be so stiff. The parents appreciate him for keeping their child safe and give him their blessing to keep dating and maybe even marry s/o if the two do end up wanting to marry(cue embarrassment from both Nezha and s/o)

SWK - listen. This man has worked so hard for his reputation as a good guy. But he’s got some stuff in his past he’s not proud of nor does he care for. So he’s going in fully prepared to be insulted, berated, overall just not treated right. But……the parents don't mention anything about his past. They don’t ask, they don’t press him about it. They compliment him, how nice he is, how he dresses well. They don’t nag him when he stims after s/o said something funny. They have something with peaches in it for dessert that he practically cries over. He’s so perplexed over the whole situation but honestly it’s in the best way possible. Very excited to see s/o’s parents again.

Macaque - there’s no way s/o’s parents would like him. C’mon, he’s a demon, he’s hurt people, he’s got this big scar over his eye…but they love him. They like his stories, how cool and calm he is, and the jokes he makes. He’s never felt so accepted before except for when he’s with s/o. Definitely thinks it’s a prank or a cruel joke, but it’s not, and he DEFINITELY cries about it. He would love to see them again. Thinks about how kind they were to him every day because it makes him happy that not only does he have s/o in his life, he’s also got their parents to support him as well. 10/10.

[boethiahsboytoy]

4, 5, 13 and 32 for vulon :3

Wheeeee thabk u Esther!! LDB ask meme here!

4) What are your Dragonborn's philosophies, mantras, codes of honor and the like? How steadfast are they in these beliefs? How do they influence their interactions with the world?

"Live Fast, Smoke Grass, and Eat Ass." I'm joking. Vulon believes very strongly in helping those in need, especially anyone unable to help the selves for any reason. As much as it is Kind Of an irresponsible asshole regarding being Dragonborn it's well known for helping out random folk in need of it. It's always believed in helping like,,,the downtrodden, the oppressed, the abused. You get the idea. It knows what it's like to feel helpless and believe, to your very core, that no one will help you and you'll die at rock bottom, and it doesn't want anyone to ever feel that way. But it's also very bitter and does believe some people truly are purely cruel beings, and believes anyone like that should be killed with no hesitation. It doesn't think people are born good or evil, but rather purely neutral and that they Decide what they want to be.

5) Dragonborn's favorite province and Dragonborn's least favorite province?

It liked Morrowind bc the Priests that smuggled it into Skyrim were the first people to be genuinely kind to it aside from a random clown when it was a kid. It doesn't hate the Summerset Isles but it has almost no good memories from living there so. By default that's it's least favorite :(

13) Does your Dragonborn have any hobbies? Are they particularly attached to any of them?

It considers its study of magic a hobby! It also journals and likes drawing :3 It hand-makes its own journals and inks as well, though idk how it gets paper for em. Probably recycles or something?? Idk hehehe. When it dies though it takes up gardening in Snakemount!! Lord Boethiah gives it a small portion of land at the peak for it to have a little house and a garden, and it spends most of its time caring for it. I think it would also get into weapon smithing as well like, just for Fun. It realizes that while it's dead it can do and learn pretty much anything it wants !! Mora is...not overly Fond of it but it Did "return" Miraak to Him so He will occasionally lend it a book or two on whatever its current hyperfixation is. No idea how Lord Boethiah feels abt this but I think it's funny lmao.

32) How does your Dragonborn view the gods, daedra and deities? How do they view the Dragonborn?

It surprisingly doesn't have that many feelings for the Aedra. It respects Stendarr because some of his stuff is similar to its Lord's, but doesn't worship him or anything (and has beef with the Vigilants of course. It knows they are Absolutely disrespecting their God's actual Thing). I think Stendarr would like it if it werent so...violent?? And got a few therapy sessions????? Theyd probably be bros tbh. It hates Akatosh on account of he made it Dragonborn! However some of that anger and resentment lessens when Akatosh allows Lord Boethiah to fully claim its Soul, as well as apologizing to it for making it Dragonborn. Akatosh on the other hand feels...kind of Sad for Vulon. It has so much potential, it Clearly embraces its Soul no matter how much it denies that, but he understands where the resentment and fury towards him comes from. I think, when Vulon dies, he almost wishes he had picked someone else to be Dragonborn. It doesn't worship Mara but definitely respects her and in the brief time it's in Riften it pays its respects for Her at the Temple and helps out the Priests. They're probably a Little confused as to why the Champion of Boethiah is so eager to help out but hey, they don't complain! Hes also surprisingly very helpful and kind and its clearly not a surface level thing; man just hides his kindness by acting inpulsive and mean. (Fun fact one of its most treasured posessions is an Amulet of Mara. It has no plans to get married but its So precious to Vulon). Mara's whole Thing is love, and so I think by default she loves Vulon. But I think she would also feel so, so deeply sad for it and for the fact it doesn't have a family. She'd be rooting for it to recover from its trauma and, maybe surprisingly?? Be delighted it has SO much love for its Lord. I think she'd keep an eye on it to make sure it's ok, but respectfully keep her distance and not interfere. She just wants to make sure it's healing. Vulon thinks Arkay is cool because it thinks Florentius is cool (the two of them bond over their shared experience of "My God/Lord is in my head and we talk all the time and people don't understand). I think Arkay would appreciate how much Vulon respects his Champion (for lack of a better word; I headcanon that Arkay really Has chosen Florentius for some Purpose and communicates with him). But beyond that I don't think there's much of a connection on either side.

It's fairly neutral towards most Princes it doesn't directly have conflict with. It respects Mora and Mora respects its quest for knowledge and discovery (as well as acknowledges it for "returning" Miraak to Him). If the pair ever speak directly i think Mora would mention how in another life, Vulon was His. Vulon would find that sweet, and tell Mora it hopes He takes good care of it, which Mora reassures it that He does. Vulon appreciates that more than it will ever admit. If it survived its battle with Miraak I think it would give casual Offerings to Mora but I doubt that would fly in Oblivion lol. It has HELLA beef with Molag Bal on account of it helping Serana kill Harkon and also being Lord Boethiah's Champion on top of that but like, it would even Without being Their Champion lol. But also in its timeline, Harkon is Bal's Champion so there's EXTRA extra beef because of that. Knows vaguely that were it not it's Lord's Champion it would probably be somewhat close to Malacath on account of the whole Outcast Thing. Respects him for that tho. Not sure how Malacath would feel about it tho??? Super chill w the Cult of Namira in Skyrim but doesn't actually have any real ties with her, just kinda runs into 'em at a feast and is like "oh dope hey I drained the blood of some guy who was a major dick that I've been using for fun but like you guys can probably find more use for it, trade you for some fresh meat I SUCK at hunting" n they become homies. Namira is the one that dares it 2 eat fries off a hotel room floor and Lord Boethiah STRONGLY considers throwing them both out the window lol. UMMMM. It has a Lot of paranoia and like, all my Other mental fuck shit so I think if Lord Boethiah hadn't gotten to it first Sheogorath would have LOVED having it as his Champion, and Vulon would have had fun with that as well :3 And most importantly it's BESTIES w Ezimar ! I think when it dies it should b allowed 2 help w the Coldharbour post office :3

[bitchfitch]

concept im probably never going to do anything with: american cis het white man who idolizes and strives for that post 9/11 idea of true masculinity (guns, violence, cold stoicism, nationalism disguised as patriotism, sad and brooding tough guy survivor who doesn't need anyone else besides 1 (one) pretty lady to tame him, you know what im talking about) but can never come close because that sort of behavior is just not in his nature. he takes this to mean that he is not a True Man tm and goes to self destructive extremes to try and force himself into this mold.

then he meets a man who is, on the surface, everything true man wannabe, wannabe for short, wants to be. hes silent unless he needs to bark an order or be quietly and roguishly charming, hes cool and collected in any circumstance, closed off and mysterious, hes a force to be rekoned with in a fight, hes james bond levels of suave and has no problems charming the women at the bar but turns them down when they ask if he wants to spend the night with them because he has a Fiance tm that hes fiercely loyal to.

Hes everything Wannabe wants to be and more. and Wannabe envies him endlessly. Wannabe tries to mirror him, to pick up on his endless luck, to be him. only to find it an impossible task.

and then they get home, or enough time goes by that Wannabe starts to see through the seems of the perfect mans facade. Perfect man isnt trying to put on this facade, its just a mixture of trauma and practicality. And Wannabe doesn't know how to handle that. He sees perfect man be so much Happier when he lets the facade drop, when hes imperfect, when he indulges his femininity alongside his masculinity.

and Wannabe learns to accept the femininity that makes him happy, through watching the perfect man do so.

notes: i decided wannabe should cishet and white, but i could see him in almost any demographic depending on what sort of story you wanted to tell.

ftm- for a character that maybe strives for this peak masculinity because he believes its what will finally get everyone to accept him as a true man

mtf- for a character whos scared of her femininity and what it means.

gay/bi- tbh, i kinda think this story only works if wannabe isnt interested in men. i dont want to risk either him or the audience assuming his obsession with perfect man is romantic or sexual. because while that can be interesting, it adds a facet of confusion to what would already be a fairly complex and delicate narrative.

aro-ace or aro but not ace- i could also see wannabe needing to come to terms with just not Wanting a relationship and seeing that as a failure on his part, because what True Man Wouldn't want to be in love with a nice lady?

ace but not aro- this would also be about him needing to come to terms with just not being sexually interested in anybody. what True Man doesn't want to go to bed with Every pretty lady?

poc- tbh im not in a position to speculate on how every single racial identity would intersect with this kind of character, bc like... theyd all be radically different? the reasoning behind an east asian man seeking out this level of toxic masculinity is going to be radically different to why a black man would do the same thing. and thats assuming hes still american, because changing his nationality would also change the base culture that made him like this and bla bla bla im not qualified to talk on this.

[plushievash]

how did leo/alexei happen? give us lore!

so for a long while they both had crushes on each other but alexei is stupid and leo suffered from internalized homophobia believing hes not meant for relationships no matter how much he wanted one with someone he would never pursue it bc he thought he would be a burden/nobody sees him that way/he is repulsive;; alexei just admired leo too much and thought leo was out of his league and that hed never love someone like him and also bc hes alexei and is just like * has severe paranoia and also no social skills *

dasha saw the Signs™ tho bc hes like love is in the air….and i will find out where its coming from and then. he suffered watching these 2 dumbasses for 2 almost 3 years dance around each other and their feelings while nobody else believed him that hey…..looks like somethins goin on between alexei and leo…u ever notice how leo takes any chance to touch him? u ever notice the way alexei immediately becomes more interactive when leo comes along? yes i know leo is clingy yes i know alexei is improving socially just like. Look its Right in Front of You.

but anyways went like that for the longest time where both of them kind of planned to make their feelings known but could never work up the courage to follow through with it. and alexei got with lucien to try to forget abt leo bc he “knew” he ‘had no chance’ and leo just [roblox OOF] and as usual * focuses on work at a dangerous level and does stupid stuff *

which ends up with a mix up and confusion where leo is missing and puts everyone in a panic and miko catches a guy named nikostratos and ooh ooough oh hes so mad hes so ohguh hes so angry that hes mad. and without thinking and following standard procedure does some things and is 8D to find out uh oh! just gave my brother the familys awful itchy scratchy disease! fuck! time to go kms i guess!

and masha is big mad at everyone so shes just like leo and miko are banned from work and if they even attempt it they wont bc theyd cross me and nobody crosses me. and then alexei is put on watch to make sure leo doesnt try to sneak away and work on his own anyways and to nobodys surprise, he does try. instead of sending one of his people alexei personally confronts him and persuades him to go back home. to which leo asks alexei to stay with him and he does…slowly leo starts to ease up again as alexei stays with him and basically lives with him/stella/the twins for a short while as hes stationed to by masha

eventually after a while of watching both miko and leo masha is satisfied enough with their recoveries and allows them back to their jobs calling alexei off since they no longer need to be supervised. but alexei again * is extremely paranoid and well meaning but also awful * so he keeps his people watching leo from a distance just to be sure hes safe; as he does with maxim and miko (the only difference is that maxim and miko Know he does that and asked him to do that; leo didnt.) oh yeah somewhere sprinkled in around that time alexei split with lucien cause he just. wasnt happy it wasnt working. i dont remember where exactly in all this mess it happened LMAO u might wanna ask my boyed friend abt that since alexei is his

so anyways after a while of being back to work leo notices hes still being followed and slowly gets paranoid and irritable. he ends up doing rash things that could end up getting him killed just to get the attention of the people following him to see if hes “just being paranoid” or if hes really being followed still despite masha allowing him to return to work. eventually after the 3rd time instead of sending someone to intervene alexei himself shows up and leo is Angry and hurt tells alexei to call off his people cause if he ever sees them again he wont hesitate to kill them and so alexei does cause he does care abt his people he doesnt try to defend himself or anything it finally hits him that he just “oh hmm. ok yeah that was kinda fucked up. uh oh i fucked up. this is bad”

and leos whole attitude began to shift instead of his usual generally polite and very easy attitude ready to make friends with anyone he became guarded irritable and quiet and he lost the soft tone in his voice. eventually even with his favourite most important people around him (stella/felix/miko) hes just too paranoid sick to his stomach and angry to stay where he is. so he says hes going to take a vacation and instead moves down to work at the other facilities as a lower agent domenico carlevaro; he doesnt alter his appearance too much aside from dyeing his hair and changing his general fashion style. the only person he allows to come down and see him is mikolaj but he says if felix or stella ever asked him he is allowed to tell them they can see him but no one else. not maxim or dasha or alcides not the twins. he cant stand to see anyone else. miko regularly visits him but has to ask each time since leo doesnt stay in 1 place for too long. eventually leos anger just makes him even more reckless causing him to break his prosthetic; so he has to return to apologize to dasha and ask for a new one.

there he finds out alexei has disappeared and immediately he just feels a twist in his stomach bc he wanted to be angry and pretend that hes over it and he doesnt care about him anymore but he still does so after he gets his new arm despite maxims protests he insists that he will assist maxim in the search. miko reports that alexei was last seen injured being carried away by a woman from some abandoned facility and so everyone is like ok fuck! who is that! is he already dead! or what the fuck! goddamn it! eventually maxim and leo manage to find where alexei is hiding running into one of his people; daria who is a tracker and not really experienced in protection. she… doesnt know how to properly use a gun. shenanigans happen bc daria is sweet and maxim and leo are not mean then leo sees alexei and boy ! he is  FUCKED UP. alexei looks like hes str8 up dying (cause he is!) hes extremely weak and has to use a cane to walk hes got bloody bandages all over and his arm in a sling and later leo and maxim see that arm has a huge ass bite taken out of it and maxim is just 8D…im a good doctor but im not That good a doctor what the fuck is this. and calls marina down to see if they know what this is

marina does and identifies it as a kaprinka bite (ask my boyed friend what a kaprinka is) and that all cases theyve been in charge of nobody has survived but theyll do what they can to try to fix it. maxim and leo decide to take shifts to always be in the room with alexei in case anything goes wrong like his condition suddenly gets even worse and they need to call marina or an attempt on his life happens. so the first night while leo is in charge of watching alexei they start to talk and leo isnt angry anymore and instead is just…Really really sad and admits how hes felt and how he knows that he doesnt have to; he shouldnt; and he Doesnt forgive him for what he did but hes willing to push that aside to at least go back to the way they were. and alexei admits how hes felt and apologizes for everything and how he “probably got himself killed” and theyre both just mmmm feels bad toddbut after that it gives alexei the push to keep on living and alexei does Stupid Stuff which is really stupid but! it helps and he manages to bring back the kaprinka for marina to see what they can do to help him since they said that theyve only ever seen kaprinka that were already dead and not usable for testing it takes months and some big rollercoaster ups and downs w/ alexeis progress but he makes it and recovers but continues to stay in hiding til he gains his full strength back and during that time someone is sent to kill him and leo and maxim stop the guy and then stuff happens and alexei is big mad and blah blah and stuff and then after thats taken care of and his recovery is full they all return and leo helps alexei/artyom/daria in their search for what originally caused the whole situation alexei got in

and so basically from the day they found him theyve been dating Finally but never like fully established it but its very clear now so everyone knows and dasha is rubbing it in everyones faces and miko and felix are dying and they just Cant understand.

also a quick note: theres 2 darias…i have a daria who is just a cute crafts girl with rainbow hair but thats not the daria in this situation…the daria in that situation is my boyfriends oc who is a motorcycle racer and tracker for alexei but they are both equally cute and good

[benhardyroger]

My Light (Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor)

Summary: You and Roger have have been in a relationship for a while and you started to feel like you should take your relationship further, since things were getting more serious. On your way back from a lovely evening out, you ask him to meet your parents before both of you leave on your trip to France, only you were struck with some terrible news.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Woo I finally wrote something again!! This was written for @bensrogers 3k celebration, congrats dummy :) The prompt inspiring this fic was “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and I’ve honestly been procrastinating on writing this for Years and I didn’t really proofread, so please excuse grammatical errors. I kinda feel like this one sucks and it could’ve been better, but with that said I hope you guys enjoy My Light!

Roger had been humming the tune you’d heard at dinner the entire way home. You hand was loosely intertwined with his as he swung it back and forth to the the slow romantic rhythm of the tune. He opened the door for you and let you lead him in. The room was cold and pitch black. Roger continued humming and raised his arm and twirled you under it.

You giggled, “Roger hold on let me find the light switch, I can’t see.”

He stopped humming. “Who needs light when I’ve got you, you’re my light,” he said pulling you closer to him by your waist so that you were against each other.

You rolled your eyes, not that the lack of light allowed him to see you do it anyways. “Alright, you may have had a bit too much bubbly, Mr. Corny.” You pushed yourself away from him and made your way to the wall to feel around and turn on the light. “There, much better. See?”

“Too bright,” he said, squinting his eyes. You rolled your eyes once more and led him up the stairs by his hand to wind down after an eventful evening.

When you got to the bedroom, Roger immediately flopped onto the bed and you took a seat on the bench across the room facing the small vanity mirror. You could see Roger behind you through it looking absolutely exhausted.

“Hey Rog, I uhh- I wanted to ask you a question,” you said, taking off your earrings. “Hmm?” he replied, eyes still closed sleepily. “I was thinking before we go on our trip you could maybe meet my parents?” you suggested timidly.

He sat up upon hearing that. His expression was slightly stunned, but overall unreadable.

“I just think it makes sense, we’ve been together long enough and we’re going on a trip together and that way, if it goes great we can start France off strong, and if it goes terribly, and i’m sure it won’t but if it does, we can just leave and forget about it and go eat some croissants or baguettes or whatever they have there,” you were rambling now and you didn’t hear him try to get your attention, “and you know i’m super excited because I know I’ve said this a hundred times before but I’ve always wanted to go and it’s going to be so fun and we’d get to see all the sights, the Eiffel Tower, the-”

“Y/N!” he said again slightly louder this time.

You blinked at his interruption, confused.

He bit his lip and his eyes fell downward. “I’ve been-“ he sighed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

You could tell by his expression and tone that it wasn’t going to be good. The excitement in your face dimmed as you prepared for what might possibly come next.

“The boys and I, we’re uhh- we’ve got another tour coming up...” he trailed off, unable to continue his thought.

“Well, that’s great, you love touring,” you replied supportively, but still cautious.

“Yeah but the thing is... look, it uhh, it’ll get in the way of France. I won’t be able to go,” he said quietly.

Your expression fell completely. What he had said didn’t register immediately but when it did your emotions were jumbled.

Before you could respond he continued, “But I want to meet your parents, we can still do that, I’d love to meet them.” It was a vain attempt to soften the shattering news you’d just received.

You still couldn’t say anything, though a number of options were running through your head. You couldn’t sort out if you were angry or sad or a combination of both.

“Would you please say something?”

You turned around from the mirror to look at him. “What would you like me to say? I can’t say anything, can I?” You got up from the bench and stood facing him head on.

He looked at you apologetically. “Y/N-” he started, getting up as well and making his way to you.

You interrupted before he could continue, “We’ve been planning this trip for a year, Roger. You’ve already cancelled it once before because you needed to focus on your album and recording, and now you’re going to leave for tour again?”

“I’m sorry, I know, but you know I can’t do much about it, I wish I could,” he said, reaching for your hand as if establishing some sort of physical contact would ease your anger.

You pulled your hand away before he could touch it. “You can’t do anything? I’m sure you could’ve done something earlier, you’ve known we were going for so long!”

“Come on, love, don’t be like that.”

“You knew it would come in the way didn’t you? You knew! And you kept it from me!” Your voice was getting louder now, but you didn’t care. “You don’t even want to go with me do you?”

He frowned at your remark. “You think I don’t want to go with you? Really?” he said quietly.

Your face was getting hotter and you felt the threat of angry tears making their way out. “Yes! That’s exactly what I think! You can’t expect me to think otherwise when you’ve cancelled it not once, but twice!” The two of you were getting closer now as the argument continued.

His voice was beginning to get louder too. “You know how important these things are, Y/N! I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be like this!”

That made you even angrier and you felt the tears well up in your eyes. “‘Like this’? How do you want me to react? We don’t keep things from each other, Roger! And that sure as hell isn't a good excuse! You know how badly I wanted to go on this trip with you! I just wanted to spend time with you, don’t you get that?” You were practically in each others faces at this point.

“Please, you don’t care about that, you only want to go for croissants and the goddamn Eiffel Tower and all that stupid shit,” he said, quite obviously with the intent of taking a jab at you.

You took a step back and blinked causing warm tears to fall down your cheeks. Roger had ripped you a new wound. “Yeah? Okay.” You nodded, looking away from him as more tears fell. As stupid as what he said was, it stung. Saying that you didn’t care about him made you want to punch him in the nose, and worse, it implied that maybe he didn’t know you, that you didn't know each other as well as you thought you did.

“If you think I don’t care about you being there.. If you think I don’t care about you, after all this time, then maybe we’re just not…” You sighed. You couldn’t finish, but you didn’t have to, he knew what you were saying. You turned and walked towards the door. Your hand rested on the doorknob and you turned your head slightly to look back at him. “Have fun on your tour, Roger,” you said, opening the door and leaving without another word.

When you stepped out, the rain was pouring and you braced yourself under the protection of the front door overhead before running towards your car. The rain temporarily camouflaged the tears on your face, but when you sat in your car they rolled down uncontrollably. You slammed your hands against the steering wheel, yelling curses, then finally collapsed onto the wheel with your head in your arms.

Meanwhile, in the house Roger was throwing things in anger at the walls, that somehow weren’t suffering any damages from his rampage.

Neither of you were going to sleep that night.

***

It’d been over two weeks since you’d left Roger’s house. In the aftermath of your argument you found yourself spending the time at your parents’ house about an hour away. You didn’t think your mum even liked the idea of him anymore after seeing what a wreck you’d become the past few days. It was ironic, only a little while back you wanted him to meet your parents and now you weren’t sure if they’d even look him in the eye if they saw him, but neither would you.

For the first three days you’d cried all that you could, the mixture of disappointment and anger and sadness and hurt had washed over and become more of a dull ache in your heart. The fact that you’d had no contact with him in the past two weeks helped, you wouldn’t be able to stand it if you had to hear his voice.

You’d been staying in for a while, not in the mood to go out or do anything really, but now you thought you were finally ready to leave the house. You took a long, almost boiling shower and came out feeling more refreshed than you have in a while. You threw on some fresh clothes and pulled your wet hair out of the towel.

You heard the doorbell from upstairs, but your parents were out, so you ran down the stairs to get it, ruffling your wet hair to break up the clumps. “Coming!” A trail of water drops followed you down to the door.

When you pulled the door open, your eyes met with his baby blues. Your heart dropped and you stepped back in shock. “R-Roger…” You swallowed hard.

“Hey, Y/N.” The corner of his mouth twitched upward, but his eyes were sad. “Can we talk?” His demeanor was that of a guilty puppy.

You wanted to slam the door in his face. In your mind you knew you should’ve, and seeing his face reminded you of the nights spent in tears. But thinking back to the events of that night, you felt a twinge of regret. Maybe if he’d come to you sooner you wouldn’t feel this way, you probably would’ve undoubtedly turned him away, but now you thought if anything you should at least let whatever this is play out, just to know. “I-uhh… yeah.” You opened the door further and stepped aside to let him in. “Yeah, sure.”

He stepped inside and you closed the door behind him. “These are uh- these are for you,” he said holding out the bouquet of white roses that were in his hand.

You took them from him timidly, but couldn’t bring yourself to thank him for them. You set them down on the table. “Rog, what are you doing here?” you asked, rather bluntly.

“I missed you,” he said, looking at the ground. “And I had to see you.” He met your eyes with his. “I kept thinking about how we left things and you haven’t been answering my calls and I couldn’t just-” he sighed, “I couldn’t just leave things the way they were.” He stepped closer to you and there was only about a foot between you. You were looking down to avoid his gaze.- “Y/N, I am so sorry. And I know that doesn’t cut it, I know we’re past that, but I had to say it. I’m sorry I was such a jerk, I’m sorry for not telling you, I’m sorry I didn’t just put you first.” It had seemed rehearsed, the way that each apology rolled into the next one.

Your eyes began to gloss over, part of you was still angry, but you wanted to forgive him, you wanted the pain to end. Your head was going back and forth like a pendulum trying to figure out if you should forgive him, if that really is the right decision for the both of you. Every negative emotion you felt in the aftermath of your argument boiled back up and you took a deep breath in, as if sucking in the air would keep the tears from surfacing.

As if he could hear the thoughts running through your mind, he continued, “You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect you to.”

“I want to…” you said softly. “I want to forgive you so badly. But every time I think about it, I remember that you lied and you kept secrets, despite the fact that you knew how important it was to me.”

“I know. I know I did, and Y/N I wish I could take all of it back, I do.”

You finally looked up at him, the pools slipping from your eyes. “If you knew I wouldn’t forgive you, then why did you come here,” you asked demandingly.

He bit his lip. “Just because I don’t expect you to, doesn’t mean I’m not hoping you will.” he replied quietly. “Y/N I need you. You’re my better half, you’re my light. And…” he trailed off.

You raised your eyebrows at him, silently urging him to continue.

“And I’m catching a flight tomorrow morning. I couldn’t leave without seeing you.”

The tension in your face released at that and you blinked in confusion. “You-You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly.

A silence fell between you. His words, ‘you’re my light’ rang in your head. The awful feeling that came over you when he revealed that he was leaving made you realize that you need him, too. If you let him go without fixing things, you might lose him forever.

“Roger…”

His face lit up slightly with hope.

You looked up at him and lifted yourself up on your toes, holding on to him by his arms and pressed your lips against his. After the initial surprise, Roger bent down a bit to allow you to get off your toes and deepened the kiss. When you released you wrapped your arms around him, your cheek against his chest. “I forgive you,” you said.

You could feel the tension in his body loosen at your words.

“Thank god,” he said, resting his chin on your head. You stayed in your embrace for a while. “I missed this.” His eyes fell closed.

You pulled away suddenly to look him in the eyes, “but you aren’t getting off that easy, you need to promise you won’t ever, ever keep anything from me ever again.”

“I promise,” he said.

“I’m not done. You also have to make up for a lot when you get back. I’m going to hang this over your head for long time, so get ready buddy.”

He smiled down at you. “I’m gonna miss you when I’m gone.”

You sighed. “I don’t want you to go, Rog. We were going to spend a trip with no one but each other and now you’re going,” you said, knowing that it wouldn’t really make a difference.

“And I promise I will make up for that, but you know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

You scoffed, “Yeah well, whoever said that was stronger than me.”

He grabbed your hand and held it in his. “You’ll do fine and besides,” he pulled a stiff piece of paper from the inside of his jacket, “you’re going to meet me along the way.”

He handed it to you and you unfolded it. It was a plane ticket.

“Is this…”

“Yup” he confirmed, face gleaming.

The destination written on it: Orly Airport, France.

As you were about to say something else, your mother entered the room. Her smile fell when she noticed Roger in the room by your side.

“Who’s this?” she asked rather sharply, knowing in the back of her mind the identity of the blonde stranger.

“Mum- This is- Uh-” you sighed, “This is Roger.”

She frowned at the mention of his name. “What is he doing here?” she asked politely, but with a coarse undertone.

“I came to give Y/N here, these flowers,” he added in, picking them up from the table.

You looked up at Roger with a smile. “Yeah.” You turned your gaze back to your mother. “We’re alright,” you said, reassuring her.

Her expression softened. Roger stuck out a hand which she took hold of and shook softly.

“Rog?” He turned to look at you. “Would you like to stay for dinner? My mum makes a mean spaghetti and meatballs.”

“I’d love to.”

You and Roger helped set up the table, him placing the forks and knives slightly crooked, and you going behind him and fixing them.

From the kitchen you heard your mother, “Roger, honey, could you help me in the kitchen?”

He gave you a slightly nervous look and you smiled reassuringly at him. “Go, she doesn’t bite,” you said nodding your head in the direction of the kitchen.

He headed over to the kitchen and your mother was busy over the stove. He stood off to the side of her while she worked. “You need help?” he asked.

“Roger I called you in here to talk to you,” she said, still focusing on cooking.

He felt a pit in his stomach. This can’t be good.

She turned to him finally, “Y/N said that you’re both okay now, but you didn’t see her these past few days. My baby was really hurting, I need you to promise me that won’t happen again.”

He felt a pang of guilt at hearing that. Having to face you after hurting you was already difficult enough, but hearing it from your mother made him feel a new level of terrible.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, I am so sorry I put her through that. I made a mistake, it was stupid and selfish of me. But I love your daughter, more than anything. I promise I won’t ever hurt her again.”

His voice was sincere and apologetic, and you could hear it from the corner outside the kitchen where you were eavesdropping.

“Right then,” she said. She turned to the cupboard and grabbed the bowls. “Here,” she said, plopping them into his hands with a smile.

He smiled back at her and exited the kitchen. When he turned the corner he saw you, leaning against the wall outside the kitchen. “Hey, whatcha doing there?”

You straightened up quickly. “Uh- nothing…”

He chuckled a bit. “So how much of that did you hear?”

The corners of your mouth turned upwards. You placed a kiss on his cheek. “Just enough,” you replied. You took the bowls from him, turned around, and walked briskly towards the dining table, leaving him smiling behind you.

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Five Ways of Saying I Love You

Pairing: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: Five ways that Roger shows her he loves her

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Sorry it’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything - please let me know what you think of it! I love hearing what all of you have to say about my writing! And remember that I reply with my main blog @ijustreallylovezebras, I hope you all had wonderful days xx

Roger wasn’t good with telling Y/N he loved her. She knew he did, and she knew that she loved him too - he was well aware of it as well, she was constantly reminding him. Roger just wasn’t good at saying it.

He could show it though, he was really good at showing it.

“I’m going to really miss you,” Y/N sighed, resting her head on his bare chest, tracing careful shapes onto his pale skin. Roger twined his fingers through her hair, gently tugging the knots out of it.

“I’m going to miss you too, Princess,” he murmured, lacing his free hand with her small one - the one that wasn’t resting on his chest. Y/N gave their hands a squeeze before placing a gentle kiss to his hand. “You could still come with me, the boys wouldn’t mind - they’d love it to be honest,” Roger said and Y/N moved her head to give him a sad smile.

“I can’t do that, Rog,”

“I know, it’s a nice thought though,” Roger sighed, squeezing her hand again.

“What time are you leaving, again?” She asked, cuddling closer into his chest.

“Six in the morning,” Roger groaned. “I’ll leave you asleep, Princess,”

“Don’t! I want to say goodbye to you,” Y/N whined, kissing his bare skin and Roger shivered at the action, a soft smile forming on his face again.

“Six is really early, Darling,” he pointed out but Y/N shook her head.

“It’s worth it for you,” she declared and Roger chuckled.

“You’re so cute,”

“I love you,” Roger hugged her a little tighter and he felt her smile against his chest.

The next morning, Roger woke at five, carefully sliding out from under his girlfriend, who was asleep on his chest. He brushed some hair from her face, smiling down at her, feeling himself falling further in love with her. He changed quickly, running a brush through his hair.

“Princess?” Roger whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. Y/N let out a quiet moan as she blinked her eyes open. A wide smile took over her face upon seeing Roger and she reached up to rub her eyes but Roger caught her hands in his. “Don’t wake up properly, Y/N/N, I’m leaving now okay? Go back to sleep and I’ll see you in six weeks,” he said, keeping his voice low and quiet before leaning to press a kiss against her forehead. Then he straightened up, turning to leave the room. 

“Wait - Rog!” Y/N called, swinging her legs out of bed and running to him, jumping up to hug him from behind.

“Princess,” Roger laughed, turning around and hugging her back tightly. “I’ll miss you,” he said and Y/N looked up, eyes cloudy, and pressed her lips firmly against his.

“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered. Roger gave her a gentle smile, kissing her once more.

“Get some rest, Princess,”

“Rock the world, Rog,”

“Just for you, Y/N/N,” he murmured and then picked her up, placing her back under the covers and kissing her forehead. “Have a good day at work,”

“I love you,” she called quietly as he left the room. Roger turned only to blow her another kiss, the words drying up in his mouth. 

When Y/N woke later that morning, a sadness weighed on her chest upon remembering the absence of Roger’s presence. She sighed and pushed herself out of bed, wrapping herself up in one of his jumpers that he had left behind. She trudged into the kitchen, and stopped, her brows furrowing at the appearance of a box on the table with her name scrawled across the top in Roger’s messy handwriting.

She opened it and her eyes welled up with tears at the image of dozens of envelopes each addressed to her.

Even though he didn’t say it very much, Y/N could tell that Roger loved her.

Since going on tour two weeks ago, Roger had called Y/N up every night without fail to talk to her and ask about her day, make sure she was okay and happy and not missing him too much. The last question always made her laugh, because of course she was missing him an extraordinarily large amount. But tonight Roger had warned her that he probably wouldn’t be able to call, as the boys were all going to a party that started straight after the concert, the time that Roger usually reserved for talking to the love of his life.

Which was why Y/N was confused as to why the phone was ringing. 

“Rog? Aren’t you at a party?” Y/N asked as she furrowed her brows and tugged her hand through her messy hair.

“Yeah - I just missed you too much,” she could tell from the slight slur of his voice that he was drunk.

“I miss you too, Rog,”

“I felt bad for not calling you tonight,” he explained, sounding disappointed in himself. Y/N gave a quiet laugh, shaking her head.

“You have a busy life, Darling, you don’t need to worry about it,” she assured him and Roger whined a little.

“You’re too good for me,” he declared. Y/N laughed, shaking her head despite knowing that Roger wouldn’t be able to see her.

“That’s the opposite of true,”

“You’re perfect,”

“You’re so cute,”  she told him. “But you should definitely go enjoy your party,”

“I have more fun talking to you than I have at any party,” Roger informed her seriously and Y/N giggled at his words.

“If you don’t go to the party then you know Freddie will give both of us a hard time about it,” Y/N pointed out. Roger groaned.

“I just miss you so so so so so much,”

“I miss you lots too,” Y/N’s voice was quiet and Roger easily picked up on her sad tone.

“Don’t be sad!” He demanded. “I’ll be back before you know it,”

“I love you,” Roger smiled, as he always did when Y/N told him that.

“I don’t want to hang up,” Roger pouted and Y/N chuckled. Roger could almost see her shaking her head at him.

“Go and have fun, Rog, I don’t want to hold you back,”

“You never hold me back! I like talking to you!” He protested. Y/N covered her mouth to contain her joyful giggle.

“You’re very drunk, Rog,”

“Calling you was all I could think about,” he admitted quietly in response. Silence settled over the phone as his words sunk in. Y/N bit her lip to stop her smile from stretching too wide. “You’re all I think about,”

Y/N grinned as her took the box from the postman, nodding her thanks to him.

“Have a nice day,” she called after him as he set off back down her driveway. He paused to wave back at her but Y/N had already turned around, eager to open the package.

She had somewhat anticipated it’s arrival - Roger had been dropping hints for the past week, ever since he called her drunk only two weeks into the tour to tell her how much he missed her.

So she had expected something. A letter or a postcard. While Roger had provided her with a shoebox full of letters at the beginning of his tour, he always sent her either a post card or a letter when the boys neared their halfway point. He always admitted to her that he found his written word easier to express his feelings with.

Y/N rumaged through her kitchen draws and picked out a knife, slicing open the box with ease and folding the flaps over, being greeted immediately by the expected postcard. 

She turned it over in excitement.

Hey Princess,

For some reason this tour I’m missing you now more than ever - from our conversations it seems as though you’re feeling the same. So I’ve been buying shit along the way that I thought would either cheer you up or make you think of me or laugh or something. Don’t want my girl missing me too much.

Always yours,

Rog

As always, he had signed off the note with a smily face and three kisses. Y/N beamed at the message, feeling her eyes brim with tears at the thoughtfulness of her boyfriend.

Inside the box lay a teddybear with a cheesy ‘I love you!” shirt on, a pair of drumsticks, one of which had been broken (this was accompanied by another note explaining how Roger had broken them in a show when he was missing her particularly much, a story that, while cute, Y/N didn’t believe for a second as she knew it was the pair that John had told her Roger through at Brian’s head during an argument), there was three of his button up shirts, a box of chocolates and two books that Y/N had been wanting to read for a while but had never gotten around to purchasing.

She stepped away from the box, holding the bear in her hands and hugged it tightly to her chest, letting out soft sobs as she felt the full weight of Roger’s love for her.

Since Roger had returned from tour a week and a half ago, everything had been perfect. Almost perfect. Y/N had been feeling as though she had hardly seen her boyfriend, he was always practicing with the band and, while she understood that the band was important, one of the most important things in Roger’s life, she had missed him.

After expressing these feelings to Roger the previous evening, he had invited his girlfriend to join the band at practice the following day, once Y/N had finished her shift at work. He had been feeling much the same as she had, if he was being honest. While he understood Freddie’s keenness to write the next album so they could start recording ASAP, he wanted nothing more than to spend a little while with Y/N in the comfort of their home. 

She was his priority.

“Y/N!” John was the first to notice her presence as she awkwardly moved into the room. John and Y/N had always been close - the two more soft-spoken members of their band-family had gravitated towards each other in a way that Roger had only hoped they would.

Roger raised his eyebrows as the bassist was quick to cross the room and embrace his girlfriend in a hug.

“Rog said you were coming today!” John beamed. Said drummer stood from behind his kit and joined the two. Freddie gave a dramatic sigh before giving in and joining the group, seeing Brian placing down his guitar as well.

Roger was quick to place his arm around her waist and kiss her cheek. an action that she grinned at, leaning further into his loving touch.

“She’s my priority,” Roger pointed out to John.

“What about the band?” Freddie asked with a raised eyebrow, quickly hugging Y/N in greeting.

“The band’s my other priority, obviously. I play better with her here anyway,” Roger declared, winking at his girlfriend, who shoved his shoulder playfully, the action making him laugh.

“I’m already in love with you, Rog, you don’t need to flirt to bad anymore,” Y/N teased and Roger chuckled, kissing her lips.

“Has he even told you he loves you back?” John asked Y/N later, when Roger and Brian had both returned to their instruments, trying to fit the song together. Freddie was sat in the corner, listening to them with his eyes closed, calculating their next move in the song, as he often did.

“Yeah he has,” Y/N assures her friend quickly.

“He didn’t say it earlier, that’s all,” Y/N smiled at John, shaking her head a little.

“Rog doesn’t like saying it so much - but I know it anyway, he makes sure of it,”

“How’d you mean?”

“It’s the little things, Deaky, like inviting me here today, just so we could spend more time together, or like yesterday when he came home even just an hour earlier to help me cook because he knew I’d been feeling down,”

“That’s sweet,” Y/N’s eyes wandered over to Roger, as they always did. Her blond haired drummer caught her eye and offered her a playful wink, causing the smile to widen on her face.

“I’m just lucky I guess,”

Roger grinned when he entered his house to be greeted by the smell of a home cooked meal.

“Princess?” He called, slipping his shoes off of his feet. “I’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen,” Roger followed the sound of her voice, smiling even wider as he saw her, wrapping his arms around her from behind and bringing her into a tight hug, feeling her relaxing back into his arms.

“It smells good,” he commented, spinning her around and kissing her. Y/N wound her arms around his neck, smiling up at him before leaning up on her tiptoes again to press another kiss to his lips.

“Thanks, how are the boys? Practice?” Her voice was quiet, content and the soft tones of it helped to relax Roger.

“Stressful - Freddie’s being a dick, he was late again, and then shit all over our ideas,”

“You didn’t fight him did you?”

“No,” Roger paused, mulling over his thoughts. “I don’t think it’s his fault anyway,”

“Paul?” Y/N asked and Roger nodded, leaning down to kiss her again.

“He’s changing Freddie,” the drummer sighed and Y/N gave a sad nod.

“Bring him back, Rog, I know you can,”

“I’m so glad I have you in my life,” Roger commented as he watched Y/N draw away from him, plating up dinner. She looked at him over her shoulder, smiling wide.

“You’re such a dork, how could anyone mistake you for a rock king,” she teased. Roger let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“I am a rock legend,” Roger was quick to disagree.

“Who likes to have his hair plaited,” Y/N was laughing as she placed the plates on the table. Roger squeezed her sides as he walked past her and she squealed away from him, glaring at her boyfriend who just gave her a cheeky grin in reply.

“I’m only a sap for you,”

“That’s... reassuring?” She questioned, cocking an eyebrow. Roger beamed and nodded.

“I love you,” he says suddenly. Y/N’s head snapped up. “I know I don’t say it much but I do,”

“I know you do, Rog,” she said, reaching over the table and grabbing his hand. “And I love you too, you don’t need to say it if you don’t want to,”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that sometimes the words don’t seem enough and... you can fake words,” he said. Y/N squeezed his hand tightly, never wanting to let him go.

“I know, Rog. But it’s okay, I understand,”

“You’re my favourite person on Earth,”

“You’re mine as well,”

[chiroyu]

Memories Before Us

chapter 1: The Archangel and The Principality

Raphael sighs, a relaxed smile on his lips as he returns from finishing a bit more of his job. Creating the stars was always a peaceful experience for him, watching as the universe expanded around him to hold his creations. The feeling of warmth surrounding him as he placed the stars in intricate patterns always chased away the slight loneliness that always sat heavily in his chest. Though it never lasted long.

Raphael's wings flapped behind him as he landed, sighing out as he rests for a moment. There was nothing on this 'Earth' yet, except for something God called plants. He looked around at these 'plants' and smiled, cupping one of the hanging 'leaves' in his hand. He could feel it teeming with life, gently caressing it. These 'plants' seemed interesting, he'd have to watch over them to see how they end up.

After resting for a few minutes more, Raphael gets up. He lets his wings stretch out behind him, his feathers rustling softly as he does so. As he is about to take off to go back to his work in the dark sky, he sees someone he has never seen before. He watches the person carefully for a moment.

The person is kneeling in front of a 'river', their hand dipping into the 'water' and letting it push past the palm of his hand. He seems to be quite interested in what he is doing, for he continued to stare at his hand for many moments.

Raphael runs his eyes over the person, taking in how they looked. They were quite different from himself, he might even say they were opposites. For while his own hair was long and red, this person's was short and almost white. And while he was tall, skinny and sharp, this person was short, plump, and round. Truly they were opposites.

But Raphael has become interested in this person and can no longer just fly back to continue his work, he feels he must go over and greet this person. And so he does, gently flapping his wings to carry himself over to the person. He lands softly a little before the person. "Hello?" He asks.

The person jumps, not expecting the sudden sound of someone speaking. The person looks around, his eyes finally coming to a stop as he gazes upon Raphael. "Oh, hello!" The person says cheerily, standing up to face the person with a wide smile.

Raphael watches as the person runs their eyes over his body before stopping and looking at his face. The person wasnt exactly looking into his eyes, it was just a little to the right of them. He chuckles. "I'm Raphael." He says, with a smile. "I dont think I've seen you around before, mind telling me your name?" He asks, tilting his head a little.

The person looks surprised for a moment. "Raphael, the archangel?" He breathes the words out in a mixture of surprise and wonder.

Rapahel cringes slightly. "Yeah... that's me, I guess..." he mumbles, uncomfortable suddenly. Everyone always treated him differently when they found out who he was...

The person breathes out a quiet oh before smiling suddenly. "Its nice to meet you, archangel Raphael! I'm Aziraphale, a principality!" He exclaims excitedly.

Raphael blinks at the overwhelming and sudden greeting and introduction. He nods stupidly. "Nice to meet you, Aziraphale. And please, just Raphael. Archangel is..." he couldn't find the words on how uncomfortable it made him when others treated him like he was better than them just because of his title.

Aziraphale seems to understand and nods with a small smile. "Alright, Raphael it is then."

Raphael smiles appreciatively, slightly surprised the principality actually listened to him. Usually the others just continue to call him by his title. It was.... nice, refreshing. "Thank you, Aziraphale." He says gently.

The principality tilts his head. "Why are you thanking me? I was just abiding by your request!" He exclaims, confused by the thanks.

Raphael chuckles softly. "I'm thanking you because you listened to my request... Usually the others dont." He says with a sweet smile, though it seemed slightly sad.

Aziraphale said another soft oh. "I'm sorry, that's quite rude of them..." he says gently.

Raphael shakes his head. "Its fine. Now tell me, what is a principality like you doing down here? I dont see anyone you are supposed to be looking after." He says, looking around quickly just to make sure.

Aziraphale hums, chuckling softly "I havent been given my orders yet I'm afraid. Though I've been told it should be soon, that God is making the ones I should look after at this very moment."

Raphael nods. "You should enjoy your time then. Before you have to follow orders for the rest of your existence." He says solemnly.

Aziraphale raises his brows. "Why do you say it like its unenjoyable to follow orders?" He asks slowly, uncertain.

Raphael smiles sadly. "It... it isn't unenjoyable, per se but... its lacking something... it gets monotonous I suppose."

Aziraphale looks even more confused. "Lacking something? Like what?" He asks, genuinely not understanding what Raphael was going on about.

Raphael sighs gently, looking up at the sky. "Its... its lonely. You'll be all by yourself, following orders that eventually might mean nothing..." he says softly, barley audible.

Aziraphale let's out an oh, turning to look at the ground. "I-i never thought about it like that..." he says softly, suddenly looking afraid and apprehensive.

Raphael shakes his head to clear himself of his thoughts before turning his view away from the sky and back to the principalityin front of hin. "Sorry, you shouldnt have to hear this when you havent even experienced being given an order before..." he mumbles in guilt.

Aziraphale shakes his head, tearing his gaze from the earth to the archangel. "No, no need to apologize... Perhaps your words will help prepare me for when that time comes?" He asks softly, sounding small.

Raphael smiles gently. "Perhaps." He answers softly. "Though I'm sure you will enjoy it. Being given your order feels... well it feels nice. Better than nice actually. It feels wonderful." He says slowly, though his voice wavers ever so slightly like he doesnt even really believe himself.

The principality doesnt notice how unsure Raphael is of his own words, smiling with cheer up at the taller Angel. "I cannot wait." He declares softly.

Raphael smiles gently down at the principality, a soft snort escaping him. "Well, I'm afraid you'll have to." He jokes hesitantly. His jokes weren't ever really understood by the others, but it was always worth trying he supposes.

It takes Aziraphale a moment before he lets out and ph followed by soft chuckles. "Yes, you're right, I guess I should say I can wait then?"

Raphael smiles, a large smile that looks odd on his angular face and sort of off putting if you looked at him a certain way. But it was genuine, probably the most genuine smile he had smiled thus far. All due to the principality in front of him actaully understanding his silly little joke.

The principality stares up in awe at the archangel's smile. It looking a little odd, like he wasnt used to smiling so wide, but it made him feel warm. He wanted to see the archangel smile like that more. "Oh my.." he breathes out, staring longer than what could be considered normal, longer than perhaps he should have.

But Raphael only raises a brow, still smilind wide. "What, is something wrong with my face?" He asks, reaching up to see if maybe he had wiped 'dirt' on himself.

Aziraphale felt his face heat up, turning a light shade of pink as he pulled his eyes away. "T-theres nothing wrong with your face!" He mumbles out quickly to assure the taller angel.

Raphael raised a brow, moving hai hand from his own face to reach out and gently touch Aziraphale's cheek. "You've changed colors." He states simply. "I've never seen an angel do that before." He says in concern. "Are you... alright?"

Aziraphale feels his face go warm even more, the color on his cheeks darkening to red. "I-i-i'm fine! I-i just feel a little warm is all, no need to fret over this little ol principality!" He stutters out.

Raphael runs his thumb over Aziraphale's cheek. "But your face has gone red! Are you sure you're alright?" He asks in concern, staring intently into the principality's eyes.

Aziraphale pauses for a moment, getting lost in the archangel's eyes. "I-im sure..." he mumbles, still staring into endless golden eyes.

Raphael stared back into light blue orbs, searching to make sure the principality was truly okay. What he found must have pleased him as he sighs out, pulling back and letting his hand drop from Aziraphale's cheek as he broke eye contact. "That's relieving. It wouldnt have been good if something was wrong with you and the others found out." He states offhandedly, like the mention of the others doing something if he wasnt okay was common place and nothing too important.

Aziraphale feels his eyes widen in concern. "Why wouldnt it have been good?" He asks quietly, afraid of the answer.

Raphale frowns slightly. "Its- well- ngk- i-it's nothing... They wouldn't do anything. They'd just think your a bit weird is all." He stutters out in a mumble, clearly lying.

Aziraphale looks at the archangel in worry. "That's a lie, i-i can tell Raphael... what would they do? Really?"

Raphael sighs, he was never good at lying. Guess it came with the whole angel thing. "I-it's only rumors, there isn't any proof and really, frankly, its probably all lies-" hes cut off by the principality reaching out to grab his hand.

"Please, Raphael, just tell me." He needed to know. His mind wouldnt stop running with all kinds of scenarios.

Raphael gulps. "T-they say that if something is wrong with you, t-that they get rid of you..." he mumbles, looking away.

Aziraphale stares at Raphale in horror. "Get rid? L-like dea-" hes interrupted by Raphael shaking his own head, looking on with horror.

"No, no, not death!" Raphael exclaims quickly to try and ease the principality's anxiety that he can feel ever growing. "Theyd just-"

"They would what?! Please just say it!" Aziraphale exclaims, gripping the archangel's hand tightly.

Raphael gulps, shaking his head. "Theyd make you... make you leave heaven." He says softly. "B-but it's just rumors."

Aziraphale stares at Raphael with wide eyes. "Make you leave heaven? I-is that possible, i-ive never heard of-"

Raphael shrugs. "I'm not sure... lots of us think it could be possible, but it's all based on rumors. Besides, many angels are weird or off, but they're still here. They havent been made to leave." Yet, his mind supplied as he gulped.

Aziraphale sighs. "Oh, it hasnt actually- oh my, I'm so glad. That was terrifying to even imagine, I'm glad it's just a rumor!" He exclaims, breathing out a sigh in relief as he let's go of the archangels hand. "I-im sorry I acted like that, I-im not sure why, but it-"

Raphael forces a small smile to his lips. "I-it's alright, I understand... i reacted similarly when i first heard about it as well." He says gently.

Aziraphale sighs softly before a smile takes over his lips. "Thank you- for telling me... even though it's bit terrifying to think about, and even though its just a rumor, I'm glad to know." He says softly, staring up at the archangel but not quite making complete eye contact.

Rapahel nods once. He felt guilty, ruining the peace that the principality was feeling before he had to go and mess it up. "Right, well I should get back to work... the stars wont create themselves." He says, forcing a chuckle.

The principality chuckles as well, nodding slightly and stepping back. "Right, of course. It was nice meeting you, Raphael." He says softly with a kind smile.

Raphael nods, turning and stretching out his wings to take off. But he stops for a second, turning his head to look at the principality. "I hope we meet again." He says softly, uncertain the principality would even now at that.

But the principality just smiles wide, looking excited. "Yes, I hope so too!" He exclaims.

Raphael smiles gently before taking off into the sky, letting his wings carry him to where he left off last when creating the stars.

[angrylizardjacket]

morning light {John Deacon}

Anon asked: do you think you can write more fluff for deacy like a lil “morning after”ish bc i’m sad and i love him

A/N: 1877 words. I’m in sever pain and my ankle Hurt. I just want BoRhap’s Another One Bites The Dust!Deaky to tell me it’s going to be okay so picture him, and also just pretend he’s not married please and thank. Not exactly what the prompt asked for but God i’m a sap.

It’s... it’s weird waking up in the morning, and he’s still there, sprawled out beneath the duvet, morning light peaking through the curtains. Not weird bad, just weird. You didn’t really think you’d get this far; you’d been working as an assistant for the company that produced a majority of their music videos, and somewhere along the way, they’d started remembering you. Well, actually, John started remembering you.

It had started with ‘We Are The Champions’, in which you had the tedious job of being more or less an usher for the audience, though it was just a small crowd. While you were seating a particularly excited bunch close to the front, you look up for a moment to see the band warming up, and John Deacon smiling fondly at the excited audience members, before he looks to you. For just a moment, you share a look, and he gives a single nod of solidarity, which you return, before you both go back to your jobs.

When you show up to the filming of ‘We Will Rock You’, practically freezing your ass off in Roger’s backyard, you debate ever getting in to the music industry, and offer to go get coffee and tea for everyone as something to keep you moving.

“I remember you.” You’re so focused on the warmth of the drinks in your hands that you’re surprised when someone says more than ‘thank you’ when you give them theirs. It’s John, smiling at you, shivering, and holding the styrofoam mug so tightly you’re a little afraid it might burst.

“You do?” You answer, and his smile turns amused, before your brain kicks into gear. “I- yeah, I was there for the last shoot.” You agree. “I’m Y/N. I’d shake your hand but-” You gesture helplessly, both hands holding trays of drinks.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, Y/N, I’m John.” He says, as if you don’t know, and you have to bite back a giggle. It’s then, when he sees the way you smile, and can feel his answering smile brighten, that he decides he likes you.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you too.” You nod at him and he thanks you for his tea before you move on to the others, only preening a little bit when they praise you for bringing them warmth on the cold, winter day. ‘I remember you’ plays in your head on repeat; you can’t stop thinking about it, about the way he grinned at you like he’d know you his whole life, and you realise a few days later, when you’re still dwelling on it, you don’t even remember how cold it had been, just his smile.

“We really have to stop meeting like this.” On the set of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ you’re the one everyone turns to as the go-between for the band and the crew, seeing as how you’d been working with them for over a year at this point. Now, you’re holding out a water bottle to John, pulse a little quick when he fixes you with a surprisingly affectionate grin of thanks, “I was asked to give you guys these.” 

“Is that the water I asked for? That was quick; Y/N you’re a bloody legend.” You hear Roger call from behind you, bounding down from behind the drums to snag one of the other three bottles from your arms. John stays quiet as he takes the drink from you, watching Roger with an amused smile. 

“I’m parched, thank you, dear.” Freddie takes the second, and after you and John share a look, an endeared smile at the grabby but thankful nature of the others, you turn, raising the final water bottle above your head.

“Brian?” You call, and he looks up from where he’s been tuning his guitar.

“Is that for me?” He asks, and you nod with a smile. He comes to collect the drink, and they all disperse back to their original places.

“We really do have to stop meeting like this; it’s what, the fifth time?” John finally agrees once they’re out of earshot, and you turn back to him, grinning.

“Sixth, actually.” You say, and he nods, making a face like he’s cataloguing the information in the back of his mind.

“Six, wow,” and after a beat, his gaze returns to yours, “six videos and I’ve never seen you at a wrap party?” At that you duck your head with a chuckle.

“I work during the week.” It’s easy to admit; it’s not that you dislike parties, persay, but you’re also not fond of turning up to your day job hungover. John hums, low and thoughtful.

“You should come to tonight’s.” He says, and you hesitate for a moment, looking up in confusion. “You don’t have to drink or anything - ignore whatever Freddie and Roger say - but it’d be nice to have you.” After a beat, he shrugged with a small smile. “But only if you want to, of course.” And you can’t help the small, pleased smile that makes it’s way onto your face as you head back to your station.

You do attend the party, squirrel yourself away on a sofa in the corner of the room, nursing your drink and talking to a revolving door of people who are getting progressively drunker as the night goes on. It’s getting close to midnight, however, when John finally joins you. The two of you had had a few conversations during the night, but he was inevitably pulled away by someone else, and you didn’t like to admit to the sinking sensation in your chest. 

He asks you if you’re enjoying it, but your answering smile and nod is unconvincing. Truth be told, you were feeling a little lonely, a little out of place, and a little Cinderella having to still get up tomorrow at a reasonable hour. As soon as you admit you’re thinking of heading home, he offers to join you, to make sure you’re safe, telling you it’s no trouble when you try to wave off his kindness.

Your home is within walking distance, and you’re thankful for the breezy Spring air as you walk through the streets talking about everything and nothing with John by your side. He’s got his hands tucked in his pockets, and at one point you tuck your arm into his; he doesn’t comment on it, but you can see him smiling.

You’re an adult enough to admit to yourself that you’d developed a crush on him, observant enough to know he liked you well enough too, unsubtle enough that Roger had told you to get a move on, though he had been quite drunk at the time. As you walk, you’re not sure what’s holding you back, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything.

It turns out, you don’t have to, at your doorstep, he hesitates after saying goodbye, before quickly leaning in and kissing you on the cheek.

“Sleep well.” He says fondly, turning to leave. You reach out, grabbing his hand and he turns back in surprise, and you step forward to press your lips to his, soft and chaste. He’s actually blushing a little when you move back, seems a little surprised.

“You too.” You tell him, voice gentle and fond, and you head inside, catching his flustered smile as you look back over your shoulder.

He gets your number during the next video shoot, or rather, after.

“I should have your number.” Is what he actually says, voice serious like he’s been musing about it for a long time, despite the fact that he’s naked in your bed, a little out of breath, fingers linked with yours as you both take a moment. You’re heart’s still racing and you’re still in quite a heady state, and all you can do is laugh, warm and bright into the darkness of the bedroom.

You wake up the next morning and he’s still there, one arm around you where you’ve got your head on his chest. There’s an anxiety, an uncertainty in your chest, tension creeping into your muscles due to this change, this development in your relationship. But then he wakes up, voice rough with sleep, giving you an easy grin in the morning light as he greets you. 

He’s warm and secure, he always has been, but it’s strange to have such solid confirmation, to feel his arms around you and feel like nothing could move you from that spot if you didn’t want it to.

He calls you, actually follows through and asks you out, and the next thing you know, the two of you are sitting in a fancy restaurant on an actual date. He’s so unwavering genuine, in his smile, his words, in the warmth he gives off; when you talk, you knows he’s actually listening to what you’re saying. 

You learn he’s an engineer; he sort of fell into music, but he’s always had a passion for electronics, and after a few weeks, he shows you the amp he built (and then the false one he built for his mini fridge, which delights you). And then he’s plugging in his record player into the amp, puts on some old jazz single you didn’t really think he’d own, and he’s offering you his hand.

Taking it, you do actually giggle at the whole situation, a little bit flustered by the sweetness of it all. You’ve seen him dance on stage, of course, in videos, but here he wraps an arm around you, swaying gently in his studio, the carpet soft beneath your bare feet. As the music picks up a little, he gently prompts you to twirl, and when you’re back in his arms, there’s nothing but adoration in his eyes. You can’t help but kiss him. 

The music keeps playing, but it’s like the two of you are frozen in time, the world falling away around you as you kiss him. Still holding each other like you’re dancing, his grip tightens just a little on your waist, his thumb brushes yours where your hands are linked before he lets go, moving to hold steady on your other hip while you wind your arms around his neck. 

The song comes to an end, but neither of you break apart. The world feels right, here.

So even now, almost a year later, it’s weird to wake up in the morning, sometimes, and see him there, after everything he’s done in his life, all the places he’s been, and he’s still by your side. He takes your breath away sometimes, when he doesn’t even mean to, like now he’s not even awake but he’s so serene and you woke up holding his hand and you felt like your heart might burst. 

“Good morning, darling.” Voice scratchy, he yawns, and you press an affectionate smile against his shoulder, a little embarrassed for still being so sappy after all this time. His free hand is gentle when he coaxes you up, pressing a kiss to your lips, amused and endeared. “What’s gotten you all smiley?” He asked, and you kiss him again.

“I just love you is all.” You tell him, and his smile brightens in the early morning light.

“I love you too.”

[dreamernagi]

It’s 1:30 in the morning and ive been laying awake for over two hours now and i was just... thinking.

Thinking about how blind and stupid ive been.

These past couple years ive been so confused about relationships and dating and having crushes that i just forgot about it bc im too busy doing other stuff. Im finishing my degree and spending time on myself and with my best friends and ive been content not thinking about anything in the romance department.

But i started thinking about the stuff ive been through the last couple years regarding my previous crushes and my sexuality crisis. When i moved to wisconsin i almost immediately had feelings for this one specific guy but when i had the opportunity to confess (even when i knew he reciprocated the interest), i froze up and never really thought about it again. I thought it was too soon and i was too scared to say anything.

Then i got even more distracted when i liked this girl for a long time, to the point where i even CONFESSED. I confessed before summer vacation to give her time to think about things, which ultimately led to rejection when the fall semester came around. Tbh tho, thank fucking god cause that girl is a class A bitch and shes with someone as equally shitty and i really dodged a bullet.

Then, i was like 1000% sure that i finally figured out my sexual orientation. Im a lesbian. 100% into women, not even romantically interested in guys, not at all. Just gay. Only girls. I thought that my fleeting crushes on boys were just me being lonely and as a result id develop a “crush” on anyone who was nice to me.

But i just... cant stop thinking about him. I just think about him and he makes me smile and i want to spend time with him and i get sad when i go long periods of time without seeing him. I hate that im too shy to really ask to hang out with him outside of anime club too much cause its almost like if i do that then im going to fall hard and i dont know what id do then.

It even extends beyond just having similar interests. His hugs are so warm and comforting and even then there are other fleeting touches. How he’ll put his arm around me sometimes and literally every time i see him he’ll compliment me and tell me i look good or hot or whatever. Every time im down on myself hes there to encourage me.

But ive already told him (and basically everyone) that im gay, and ill make silly comments about getting a gf one day and that he should TOTALLY introduce me to some of his other lgbtq+ friends so i may hit it off with one of them. But really... maybe this whole time ive been into him? The way he talks to me makes me feel like he still has feelings for me too.

He always says how im “gf goals” and that im going to make someone really happy one day and i always found it really sweet. And idk... maybe... if i just give it a shot... i could try it? With him? Try dating him?

Im just so scared because hes just... the most caring and sweet guy ive ever met and if i did try dating him and find out that i really am gay, that all these confusing feelings ARE just me being lonely, itd break his heart. He doesnt deserve to have something like that happen to him, esp if he really does like me in that way. He just deserves so much better than me; someone whos often distracted, confused on what i really want and who i am... i dont know what to do, or even how to take that final step if i decided to pursue it.

It doesnt help that i literally dont have anyone to talk to about this stuff. My bff is really weird with romantic stuff and they also know him as well, and i feel like if i told them about these conflicting feelings i have theyd be... disappointed? I dont know how to describe it. I guess just after years and years of affirming that im a lesbian and have no interest in guys to suddenly come out and be like “hey i kinda really unironically wanna date this cis guy” theyd be floored and possibly weirded out? Sigh, idk...

I just really like him and i only have a semester left at whitewater to be around him. I feel like im running out of time. I should just go for it!! But then the other part of me is like NO FOOL DONT DO THAT UR GOING TO FUCK IT UP!!

Uuuuuuggghhhh

[mondelveg]

Hey is that [CAMILA MENDES]? No, that’s just [MONICA DELLA VEGA]. They’re [TWENTY-ONE], and have spent [ONE YEAR] in Dayton. I hear that they’re kind of [CHARISMATIC], but also [MANIPULATIVE]. Did you hear their vices are [CIGARETTES & SEX]? Cant wait to see [SHE/HER] at the next party! 

hello there friends! my name is paige and this is my smol child monica. shes a gem, truly. super excited to be here bc wow i love this concept?? anyway enough of that, here’s what yall need to know about monica ~

monica rosalinda della vega is the product of the american dream

her father, marco, moved to los angeles from brazil when he was seventeen with the dream of going to college. for years he worked his butt off and eventually saved up enough money to attend college, where he studied political science and pre law

from there, he got a full ride to law school and that was where he met his wife, anna, who was working on her doctorate the two fell in love and got married after marco passed the bar. 

they moved to a small apartment in LA while marco worked his way up in his law firm and anna began her writing

anna was older when they had their first and only son, scott, who is eight years older than monica

after having scott, anna was told she couldn’t have more children, and the couple kind of accepted that and moved on with their lives (they knew anna was older and so like it made sense)

but

then she became pregnant with monica

the couple debated for a long time but anna decided she wanted to carry monica and give birth and all that jazz

which tbh wasn’t the best idea

she went into labor 4 weeks early and actually died while giving birth to monica, so she never knew her mother which is #sad

anna’s death kind of wrecked marco tbh?? like that was the love of his LIFE man and he honestly didnt know what to do without her

in true hamilton fashion, a few weeks after monica was born, the della vega’s moved up town (and by uptown i mean to calabasas bc her dad got a big promotion and they could afford it)

from there life was different in the della vega house. marco was around less, and he actually hired help to raise scott and monica (something he said he’d never do, no matter how much money he made)

there was also a bit of a constant revolving door of women in and out of their lives tbh?? which always effected monica more than scott

monica was always looking for a motherly figure and would get attached and then theyd disappear bc things would end with marco

this really kinda of broke monica, especially after cecila. she and marco dated for most of monica’s middle school years and they almsot got married. monica saw her as a mother figure but something happened ahd cecilia moved out and hasnt spoken to them since

other than the constant family tension at home, monica lived a pretty nice life? 

high school was good

monica came in determined not to be “scott della vega’s little sister”

she made a name for herself, was head cheerleader and student body president and yearbook editor and on prom committee

she graduated top of her class and was headed to yale 

she decided to study journalism and excelled 

the day of her graduation, marco and scott didnt show up, and monica was confused and heartbroken

it was only after that her brother called and informed her that their father had been found dead that morning due to too much alcohol, and that was why he wasn’t there

monica truly didnt know what to do with herself after that

she withdrew from graduate school, packed up her things and decided to head to dayton

she had a friend from childhood that was living in dayton, and when she broke the news they had suggested she come and unwind and figure her life out

2 years later, she still remains

monica works for the local paper as a writer and editor, but she eventually wants more iwth her life?? like shes living off the money her dad left her, which is a lot, but she hates that

personality

I pool inspiration from Elle woods, Brooke Davis, mean girls broadway regina George, heather chandler and Jane Villanueva

she’s one of those girls that just doesn’t care, she’ll do whatever it takes to advance herself and will deserve it too. she’s a hard worker and a smart cookie

people would call her a bitch, but its her honesty. she doesn’t care about you or your feelings, especially when it comes to honesty and uncovering the truth and all of those fun things

but she’s also a lot of fun. she’s a person that people want to be around, someone that pulls people in and make people want to love her and be her friend and marry her?? like its weird, bc she can be really mean and manipulative to et what she wants but people still want to be in her presence

mon also lowkey thrives off of chaos like she enjoys it almost?? her family was always chaotic and its something she almost needs in order to survive

monica is also a bit dark and twisty tbh??

she has pretty bad anxiety and like because of all the shit with her mom and now her dads shit shes actually a bit insecure, especially in relationships

plots

WOW IM THE WORST AT THIS PART

im always open to brainstorm

like i said, she came to dayton because of a childhood friend so maybe that??

roommates!! maybe 2 or 3 people she lives with, could be friends or not

maybe an ex? monica’s lived here 2 years so she was bound to date someone at least at some point

also, hook ups (one of her vices is sex so ??)

maybe the roger to her mimi (if you know rent)?? like the unexpected guy that kind of comes into her life, and she expects it to be like the rest, but its fully not?? thats fun

i also have a wc tag right here so check that out 

so yah that’s it!! like this and we can plot : )

[dairy-farmer]

binchhhhh have you season season 8 yet??? and if so thoughts?? 🤔

I diddd!!!! and I just finished it!! i tried staying up till 3 to watch it but fell asleep and woke up at 4:30, it’s like 10 am now and honestly???

*SPOILERS FOR VOLTRON SEASON 8 BELOW*

 worth it. no regrets.

overall im like…satisfied? like it got a happy ending for the most part, because the main plot is accomplished the universe can finally begin to heal and voltron has served it’s purpose, which i was expecting but there’s also a part of me that is…like really really sad??

like allura’s gone because she sacrificed herself alongside honerva (which really made a sharp character turn at the end, which is slightly supported by the closer examination done to her character in the episode where they delve into her mind but i still feel could’ve been built up more)  and i really wish she could’ve like lived on (but like what else are fanworks for??) especially given the fact that she and lance were really beginning a promising relationship.

-even though there could be a case built that it’s just a rebound relationship, though i think that its very unfitting for either allura or lance’s characters. i mean the same could be said for klance if it had been canon, that lance saw his chances with allura dissipate and that keith was just next in line. but the way the allurance was portrayed was actually quite soft, like the two became closer friends who shared a romatic love for one another and isn’t that how love’s supposed to be?

(believe me im just as disappointed as all of you that klance didn’t end up being canon because despite my (still present) belief that they belong together, but i…was kinda prepared to find this out? like Dreamworks being the parent company and after shiro was confirmed to be gay and who was a main character i just knew that asking for more than a single LGBT main character was pushing my luck. (ezor and zethrid were present but they hardly had any screen time and theyd been classified as villains even near up to the end)

of course while i did enjoy the season and the entirety of voltron overall i think ill just list of what i liked, what left me confused, and what kinda bothers me:

-keith, embracing and fully accepting the entirety of his galra heritage and even going so far as to use the words ‘us’ and ‘we’ in his speech to the other galra at the end ✔️ pretty good for a boy who started out angry and sad at the world with no idea who he was

-lance’s altean marks!!! all i can say is hell yeah!!! (like i dont think he’s altean because i dont think he can shapeshift or is genetically similar at all but the marks on his cheeks (i interpret them) are like a kissmark from allura, a reminder that she did truly love him  and almost a symbolic way of her having passed on the torch to him. ✔️ (they’re like lance’s moon!!! ya know like how in ATLA how sokka found love and then lost it but was reassured that yue was up there, looking down on him)

-did kova die in the ritual?? is that what happened when honerva set him down in the circle??? she drained the quintessence from an immortal being❔

-that little dialogue exchange from honervas memories of lotor like how zarkon replied to lotor saying “you may be the prince but i am your emperor” and immediately afterwards when lotor said he wanted kova and haggar almost said no and he replied “you may be the high pristess but i am the prince” pretty much mirroring his father and delivering the chilling hint that despite how much lotor may have tried to reject it, small parts of zarkon did make their way into him ✔️

-SHIROS!!!FUCKING!!!ARM!!!WRESTLING!!!COMPETITION!!!✔️✔️✔️✔️ like you can tell being called old got to him, and am totally in the belief that no matter how good he may be at hiding it he’s just as short tempered and fiery as keith was ( i even think that maybe he saw a younger version of himself in keith when he first met him which may be why he was so determined to help him- especially since much of shiro’s own childhood is never adressed. can someone say orphan!shiro?) 

-farmer lance ✔️✔️✔️ like keith’s dad was a predicted to be farmer/firefighter- hes confirmed firefighter but i like to think that maybe he grew tomatoes part time or smthn. and keith a city slicker he doesnt know jack about farming. excellent matierial if you ask me, yall pickin up what im puttin down?

-takashi shirogane got married and we dont even get a name??? scam ❌

-shiros kiss ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

-uhhhn the fuckin uhhh slight homicidal tendencies that allura developed after accepting that parasite thingy . like everyone was glancing at each other, clearly aware that she wasn’t acting like herself but no one actually steps in? says enough is enough.?❌

-Merla name drop??? ya know what i can appreciate the little things ✔️

-go!lion throwback with gremlin pidge✔️✔️

-shiros goodbye. “you never have to thank me for anything”. like the sincerity, the implied level of thanks that HE feels towards alllura. binch..i shed a tear i wont lie…✔️

-lance found love✔️✔️✔️ me being a klance/shance lover or not i love my boy lance first and foremost and He.Found.Love. the one thing he’s wanted more than anything else and i for one love that he found his happy ending no matter how short lived it may have been

-lance signing like 1000 blue lions dolls just to get ONE for his boo? hero✔️

-end credit where the lions are flying towards an outline of allura made of stars✔️ while even though she’s gone, shes now part of the galaxy she fought to protect✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

-voltron ends just as it started, with lance mcclain center stage ✔️✔️

- the scene where baby!lotor is running towards honerva to hug her and then just stops. dead. in. his. tracks. purposeful or not i think it really gives credit towards his natural instincts to sense danger.✔️

-despite lotor having killed hundreds of alteans, and the additional reaffirmation that he above all was desperate to preserve life no matter the cost, that he had a sense of right and wrong that became skewed. that he lost himself. found himself, and lost himself again. makes him a character really suited for deep pensive analysis. like before we even KNEW or met lotor i was writing him as a paris hiltonish party kid who was really just looking for a good time but now i feel like when writing him from here out and maybe for others we can actually give him his due as a complex character who under a different set of circumstances couldve been someone else. someone better? maybe ✔️❌❔

*SEASON 8 SPOILERS END*

well thats all i can think of off the top of my head. is there more pros and more cons? probably but that’s really more up to everyone else’s personal interpretation. 

is voltron perfect? definitly not, there’s a lot that coulve been improved upon, somethings that coulve gotten more in depth work. they had a lot of interesting pieces that if executed better, with longer episodes or possibly even more seasons, or maybe decided on a method of storytelling and stuck with it, i feel like it couldve been something great. 

but i liked it. 

and if if you’re with the opinion that the ending sucked and you hate everything about it well, you can always just drench yourself in fanworks like you’d drench turkey in gravy to make it a little more palatable.

because YOU my good bitch are valid as well!!!

so really theres something for everyone!!!! (also please dont kill me for my lack of fics, my chem final was yesterday (only thing i can remember from it is the thought that i should’ve chosen A. sparkling water rather than C. gold metal for question 19—buuuuut that means im free for break!!! and guess who’s gunna get flooded with all my half finished fics!!! das right allayous

[acquisitive-adventurers]

How did Singlar lose his wife? Did he feel he lost her through his own negligence or ineptitude, or does he blame someone else for her death? Has he ever considered looking for a way to bring her back from the dead? Would he ever consider that?

(Thanks for the ask, @calabren-iarian !)

THIS IS LARGELY MY FAVORITE THING TO TRY AND WRITE??? It came out in an rp AGES ago with Singlar’s mun, and he was like (oocly) “what if you were my wife but I thought I’d lost you?” during a really sad part of an rp. It ripped my heart out and it’s been that way forever.

It’s evolved from something akin to screaming into the void to something else less screamy.

Singlar was pretty young as a dwarf – few decades old, probably 60 or so – and he was out exploring with his older brother, Kóri. They were out, being stupid “young” guys, when they came upon a night elf village. They weren’t used to meeting any of the other races beyond dwarves, gnomes, and humans, and the elves were… gorgeous, to say the least. Kóri would joke at Singlar about “staring too long,” but as a young paladin, the starlight that emanated from their eyes was intoxicating.

Though he and his brother left the village after a particularly bad cold snap (it was only like a few days before the weather opened up), Singlar had developed a major crush on the elf that would become his wife. It took maybe ten years before they actually got married, and they stayed that way for almost 80 years (so he’d be roughly 150-160 when she “died”). They’d made a home in the mountain ranges between Mount Hyjal/Felwood/Winterspring, and they were pretty happy.

Emerald Dream portals would open randomly though, and the village they lived in believed they were well defended, so no one left. Singlar left to go visit his brother in Ironforge (for some business) and left Zaha’a alone at their home. When Singlar returned a few weeks later, it was a gory mess: the village was reduced to smoldering ash, fresh corpses of elves and worgen were everywhere, and Singlar couldn’t find his wife anywhere among the survivors. So, he thought she’d perished.

For another 90+ years, he held a hatred for elves and worgen (and anyone that could turn into one tbh). He blamed himself for staying too long in Ironforge, for not taking the first boat and being delayed by a few extra hours, for not bringing his wife along in the first place.

Since there wasn’t anything left of her – possessions, body, even a photo – Singlar was left with nothing of his wife, but her visage haunted him every day for nearly 50 years. He went and drank himself nearly to death, until the kingdoms of men started asking for the other races to help build up their cities. He spent the next few decades working, drinking, sleeping with everyone, and refusing to allow himself to grieve or let go of his anger. He got sick, and sicker, and sickest of all when the orcs invaded Azeroth. He was one of the first to put his skills into the armies for the Alliance, and used it as an excuse to shed blood.

(Even that left him so very hollow inside, and it did not feel good to watch the blood go down the drain after a battle.)

When his commanders realized what he was doing, he was sent to Silithus to keep the supply chains there flowing for the Alliance and keep them as long as possible from the Horde. It was only when he touched down in Stormwind and was given the orders to go did he see Ahilyah for the first (and only) time fully decked out in her commander’s armor – at the time, he didn’t know she was his commander and was pretty awful to her, but she let it slide – as they were both introduced to the other members of their team.

All seven of them left to go to Silithus. Eventually, after battles and literal years spent in the bug-infested cesspool, everyone but Singlar and Ahilyah died or were transferred. They didn’t get any other teammates, and it was just them holding down an entire outpost.

They grew comfortable, enough to drink and sleep in the same room together (more for camaraderie than anything else), and eventually they started sharing their lives. She told him about her explorations and commander school, he told her how it was to grow up in the heart of a mountain; he explained paladin teachings (that he often scoffed at in the same breath of whispering his prayers to the Light), she explained beautiful and terrifying worlds beyond their touch that only a few could (or would) ever see. They were friends.

Between fighting the Horde and the old god worshippers and the bugs, Ahilyah was often given secret missions that they’d go and usually sabotage Horde encampments (”don’t explain anything to me, and I’ll have no questions to ask,” Singlar would tell her), but one time there was a month of nothing. Singlar asked if the war was over, if they’d be released from this Hell and they’d finally go their separate ways; she explained she’d already been given her orders, and had been given plenty of mail about not completing it yet.

When he asked why they hadn’t gone out to do “another get-this, kill-that” mission, she explained it wasn’t that type of mission anymore. It was supposed to have them go outside of the combat zone and kill any and every Horde village nearby. She had twenty-four hours to respond, or she’d be court marshaled, judged by the king and his peers, and executed. (She still didn’t know which part of the kingdom this order came from, but it had an official seal. She had asked the high command for a repeat of the orders, but she never got one – so, she stayed put, mostly because of her morals and also because she didn’t believe it was a real King Varian-stated order.)

They had a screaming match due to misunderstandings until she screamed something in anger – basically “you’re such a stupid dwarf, I can’t believe I put up with you for so many centuries” – and he was like “????what????”

And then they had a very awkward reveal that she was his wife.

He was angry, hurt, confused, and felt like he wanted to throw up. He ended up camping out in the next outpost over, thinking everything over.

Ahilyah never did the mission. At this point the Alliance basically forgot about Silithus as the Legion expac started, King Wrynn dying, and the other Alliance leaders straining under Anduin’s leadership. He came back after fighting on the Broken Shore for a while (she was in Suramar for a time), but they went back to Silithus when the Broken Isles were secure.

Days before the Sargeras skewering of the world, they started to talk about things. Though Anduin’s reign was much different than his father’s, their relationship would never be able to heal. Silithus was going to be released so the people there could refocus elsewhere in the world, but so far it was just a waiting process.

They were on their way out of the zone (near the northern mountain range) when the sword came down. The group they were traveling with were able to get into a nearby cave, but it turned out to be a straight view of the valley; they’d be burned alive if the shockwave didn’t kill them.

And being stupid, Singlar kind of just stood in front of Ahilyah as they curled up in the corner of the cavern while Silithus erupted in flames. In the last few seconds before the flames hit them, he was like, “I wasted years over you.” And she just had to tell him to choose: the anger, or a clear future.

When the shockwave hit, everything exposed to the flames was horribly burned.  Chunks of Azerite were thrown into bodies of people, killing some instantly due to the intense high while others were in severe agony. The dwarves and gnomes that sat in the cavern came out completely different, half infused with this rock that deformed their bodies but also gave them immense strengths they hadn’t had before.

Ahilyah ends up with horrible burns/scars across the right side of her body (and flecks on her left). The warrior’s right eye glows like the Azurite does, and parts of her scars sometimes glow if she gets too enraged. She goes into blind rages whenever she loses control of herself, going into a frenzy due to the Azerite in her system.

For Singlar, he’s got these giant rocks (kinda like the rock giants in Deepholm?) sticking out of his back, pulsing every time his heart beats. His eyes turn from an ice blue to brilliant gold, and the veins along his body pulse the same color. He’s got burns along the skin that isn’t infused with Azerite, and the back of his head/neck have diamonds/Azerite crystal hybrids growing out of it.

(The other dwarves and gnomes come out looking similar to Singlar, only with their own molecular type – some have sandstone/Azerite, sapphire/Azerite, etc. Each one’s experiences with the Azerite infusion range wildly to “this sucks” to “what could go wrong?”)

((I want to make an entire post about what gnomes, dwarves, goblins, and (maybe) humans taking baths in this stuff would do to them (being descendants of the Titan constructs and all), since the initial “explosion” can’t really be recreated. So it’ll just add to that layer of “well this might actually suck for us” by being so dependent on Azerite.))

[eaglebones-falconhawk]

ok. heres a write up of my astro weekend. sorry it’s so long. 

...or at least everything i can remember. 

i guess i’ll go in order. 

thursday: 

thursday was in athens. i sat around my airbnb room for a bit and then finally decided to go check out a shop around 2 pm. well apparently that fuckin shop was literally next door bc as soon as I turned around from loading up the parking meter, Birdstuff was there with the sound guy (his friend). I said hi and we talked for a bit, then I went into the store. I got a cool sweater and a cute dress and the girl at the counter took my picture to put on their instagram.  I checked out a few more shops in the area before I went back. Also, Reel Big Fish were playing literally right up the road and I heard them rehearsing. 

I got to the venue right before the doors opened and ran into a guy from the fan facebook group. we talked for a bit and he said he flew in from new york for the show. super nice dude. I went in and no one checked if i had a ticket or id’ed me or anything. kinda weird. Anyway i just kinda sat there for a while while people came in. avona nova waved at me when she showed up, then coco said hi later while I was talking to someone. the other guy was like “you know that guy...i feel like i should know him!” I had to tell him who it was, I thought that was pretty funny. 

I also saw Birdstuff again before their set. He gave me a setlist but only if i promised not to look at it. I shoved it in my pocket and forgot about it til the next day. lol.  Their set was really good. They opened with one of my favorite songs, and played the MST3K theme song. They also played one new song. Coco grabbed my head during one of the intro samples. Birdstuff also fed a chunk of pizza to the guy next to me.  Oh shit, I almost forgot about Pylon. They played before astroman and were AMAZING. Also Vanessa (the singer) told me she liked my jacket when i picked up their new record from the merch table. I’m really really glad I got to see them.

After the set I stuck around to say hi and stuff. Me and my new buddy from the facebook group both talked to coco for a bit. I showed him my tattoo and he said he’d make sure i’d be on the guest list for the rest of the weekend buuut that never happened. I dont think he was lying or forgot but I never did get on that guest list :/. I gave him and everyone but star crunch some stickers. Avona Nova asked me about my shoes, and she was so into them. It was adorable! I love her.  That’s about it for thursday night.  Friday: 

The friday show was in atlanta. I went to check out the botanical gardens in athens before i left town. it was unsurpisingly not that great on the last day of november but i still enjoyed it. it was nice to go for a peaceful walk through nature and i still got to see some cool plants. I left and drove to atlanta and went to my favorite shop in little 5 points, then left because i didnt wanna deal with people or traffic anymore. (i still got stuck in traffic). I did get a cool MoAM magnet though. 

The show in atlanta was in the same place i saw them last year- except they expanded so the venue was about twice as big. i got there kinda early (they also opened the doors way later than advertised) so i sat with one of birdstuff’s friends/the sound guy for a while. hes a really nice guy and showed me pictures of his cats. he also introduced me to some other people that work at saturn.

the merch table was on the old stage and i fell a little bit and almost spilled my drink on star crunch who was unloading tshirts. he was like “oh...hi”. after the show he told me his dog died :/

 the first 2 opening bands were kinda weird but i had fun watching them. Arcwelder played and I really enjoyed seeing them. I think i’m gonna try and get some of their cds. I saw coco in the audience again and i think he waved at me but i cant remember if he said hi. my new buddy was kind of impressed that any of the band members did say hi though. lol.  i think avona nova musta said hi that night too bc at some point he was like “you’re like the astro-insider”. I thought it was hilarious. 

The set for this night was pretty great. they opened with With Automatic Shutoff again but it sounded way better. they also did a few improv songs, and played the mst3k song again, but it wasnt on the set list. Coco fell at some point during the set and kicked me in the face a little bit. I told him afterward and he felt really bad. He also knocked over one of the monitors when he fell, and i had to hold it up with 2 other guys to keep it from falling. I got to wear coco’s helmet for a minute but its heavy and smelly so i put it on someone else as soon as i could. also henry (the guy who put all the shows together as his birthday party) told me he was really glad i came. it was kinda weird but it was nice. kinda made me wanna cry though. 

After the show i stuck around for a bit. this time i did get to talk to the band a bit more. I asked star crunch how he was doing and he was like “i’ve had better weeks....my dog just died” UM. OKAY. he did seem really sad though. i feel bad for him. hes such a nice man. We talked for a bit and I gave him some of the stickers i made.  birdstuff knew i was going to drive from atlanta to birmingham for the next show so he offered to find me a place to stay as they all claimed “the drive back was really boring”. star crunch was like “you could stay with my parents, my dad could teach you how to line dance.” lmao. him and coco also told me about a time they apparently both interviewed and applied for the same job, with the idea that theyd both work the same position for like half the year and get twice the amount of work done, so they could tour the rest of the year. i had to tell him that basically the same thing happened in an episode of its always sunny in philadelphia. lmao. i talked with them all for a while before they started leaving and stuff. i mean i didnt have anything better to do. i said see ya later and got an uber home. my airbnb was cold as shit and i didnt sleep very well. 

saturday: 

the saturday show was at Saturn in Birmingham. and it was perfect. i slept as late as i could then just chilled in my airbnb (it was a converted airstream trailer- hella cool but kinda cold in late november/early december) until it was time to go. i packed all my shit but wasnt really sure if i wanted to stay in Bham because i figured i’d have to stay with a stranger or something. the drive from atlanta to birmingham really wasnt that bad, but i’m also not a 40 year old man. I got to bham way earlier than i expected so i went and tried to get something to eat. the sandwich i ordered was amazing but i just wasnt hungry. did i  mention i have appetite issues when i travel? because i barely ate anything all weekend. anyway i went to saturn and just sat around for a while til i met another person from the facebook group. which was nice, because i basically wasn’t alone at any of the shows. this guy was also super nice. avona nova came up and said hi and asked me about video games? i wasnt feeling good and i was really confused when she said that. it was still cool she said hi though. she’s so sweet. 

once again i wasnt on the setlist even though coco told me twice he’d make sure i was on there. i was kinda mad about it til he came up before their set and asked if i got in okay. (he also startled me when he did this because he came up from behind).  Arcwelder played again this show and they were really good again. Tar was also super good and the singer told me he liked all my space shit after the show. he was really nice. 

This show was played on the floor with a huge parachute as a backdrop. it looked awesome and made for a nice intimate setting. the band came through the audience instead of from the back and scared the hell out of me when they came up from behind me. 

This show was probably my favorite of the whole weekend. I think the set was a little longer but they also just sounded great. 

early on in the set star crunch’s microphone was like, electrified and it shocked him in the middle of a song. he put his guitar up to it to prove it and there was a bright spark. someone said “put a sock on it” so coco, being the fucking weird man he is took his shoe off and offered his sock to star crunch. but like its a sock and your mouth goes real close to the mic so he was like “no!!” coco just threw his fucking sock into the audience and played half the show with only one shoe on til the rest of the band made him put the other one on (with no sock). 

the theremin broke at some point during the set (it fell...but a cymbal also fell and broke the cord. who knows which truly broke it) so they almost didn’t play principles unknown, but birdstuff had the sound guy put a bunch of reverb on the mic and made coco do the fucking theremin noises with his mouth. and it was fucking incredible. he did it like, perfectly and TBH it was amazing to witness. i got it on video and i’m so glad i did. 

coco put the space helmet on me again during this show, and i tried to take a selfie with it but it didnt save :/. oh well. it got passed around the audience and everyone that got it seemed super happy. 

they played the mst3k song one more time this show, and birdstuff dedicated it to me :) he said something like “she drove all the way from fucking new zealand!” and this guy with a real heavy southern accent tapped my shoulder and was like “new zealand?” no...just iowa. lmao. it was so cool he did that, though. i’m really hoping someone recorded the whole show so i can go back and listen to it later. 

birdstuff did his regular drum kit sculpture but this time he stole a bunch of people’s belts (yes....he asked the audience for belts and then took them) and hung the snare drum from the ceiling. the second funniest part of the show was watching people try to find their belt from the pile. 

after the show i saw another guy in a jumpsuit so i went to tell him i liked it, just for solidarity i guess? turns out he went to high school with coco. weird! he was a super friendly guy and was kind of enthralled with my outfit. he took a picture with me and coco lol. 

I asked coco if i could take a picture with all 4 of them. i hadnt done it yet and i was like why not! its a special weekend!. he was like “yeah! if we can get everyone all together” which yeah, took a while. i also made sure i asked star crunch since he usually disappears first.

there were some teenage girls there who were trying to get the band’s autographs, and it was awesome. they were nice and i hope they had a good show. one of them told me she thought star crunch was cute. lmao. i kinda wish i’d gotten some autographs but i had such a good weekend, it doesn’t matter. 

i hung around until finally we got everyone in one room so we could take a picture. my bud for the night from the facebook group also got to take a picture with them. 

birdstuff asked again if i wanted to stay there, and i was like “sure!” mostly just so i could say i did it. man, it was an awesome place. they put in  some rooms and bunks above the venue so bands could sleep there. none of the bands that played that night stayed though, so i got the whole front room to myself. birdstuff showed me around and tried to get netflix on the tv to work but couldnt so he just showed me where the dvds were. i found a simpsons dvd and watched that. 

let me tell you- staying the night in saturn, watching the simpsons after an amazing MoAM show where they dedicated a song to me and then i got to hang out with them for a bit, that’s my idea of heaven. it was such a perfect night. i also took some pictures in the upstairs of saturn, partially because i wanted to be able to prove i was there, but also because the art and decorations were fucking awesome. such a good night. 

i did have to take a shower without a shower curtain though. birdstuff couldnt fix that. i didnt even care though. 

sunday:

the sunday show was in atlanta again, at a place called whirlyball. now what i didnt know about this place was that its not a fucking venue but basically an arcade. or well, more like, its this sport played on bumpercars with lacrosse sticks. theres 2 courts and a few games in the lobby, oh and theres a stage too. what a weird place. i was starting to feel sick by this day so i just sat on the couch for a while. avona nova sat on the couch next to me and we talked for a minute, and the others said hi when they saw me. 

i watched people play whirly ball for a bit, chilled while the first band played, then while the next band set up i went and found a bar chair in the lobby. one of the OTHER guys from the facebook fan group came and said hi and gave me an envelope with a ton of cool MoAM flyers in it. he also printed one of the pictures i took at the friday show and made me a custom record with that as the insert cover. it was fucking awesome but unexpected, i hadnt seen this guy all weekend even though he was at the other georgia shows. 

this was an all ages show so there were a few kids there. (including coco’s kid, she was adorable). pretty standard set again. i was feeling kinda crappy so this show felt weird to me, but it was still a lot of fun. at the end they pulled up a few kids to play bass and drums, and it was awesome. i found those kids after the show and gave em some stickers. they were so excited. 

i waited around after the show for a while again. avona nova told me she was gonna find the merch they brought so i could get some pins for my friends but mostly i didnt want to leave. she also asked if i wanted to take another picture with all 4 of them but star crunch and birdstuff were out of sight so i just took one with her, and then coco. shes so sweet. 

i met one more dude from the facebook group, this time a guy that came with his kid. they were both so excited to be there and it was adorable. he saw one of the pictures i had posted of a huge leaf i found at the georgia botanical gardens and showed me one he had taken earlier that day of his son with the same type of big fucking leaf (it was as big as him!). I gave them some stickers, and then they left. i think they had a bit of a drive. 

i hung around for a bit longer, talked to a few more people but there wasnt anything special really. some ladies really liked the jumpsuit i wore (lol). eventually i was ready to leave and birdstuff gave me a hug ( :)) ). he was worried about me driving back and offered to find me a hotel room. he also said to “make sure you stop at a rest stop if you start getting tired” which is exactly what my mom would say, lmao. it was sweet though. i said goodbye to him and daniel (the sound guy) and left. 

i got gas and then cried while i was driving because i had such a perfect weekend and i wasnt really ready for it to end. but like i was getting sick and ready to go home. anyway i drove home overnight (like 10 hours). 

anyway i had the most fun i’ll probably ever have for the rest of my life and it was worth the long fucking drive. my only regret is being too anxious to eat and not doing more shopping. 

thanks for reading this, if you did in fact do so. part of this was just to act as a journal if i want to go back and look at it later. 

sorry its so long. 

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[midnightluck]

I read a fic a long time ago where the characters somehow got cursed or something to have all the things that people said about them appear on their skin (like if someone called them 'cute' theyd have'cute' stamped on their hand or somewhere else. i was thinking about this somehow happening to ace and the wbp (or mas or the asl), like they eat a crazy grand line fruit, and for the most part its pretty innocuous and funny, except that ace has stuff like 'should have been drowned at birth' 1/2

on his face (basically a lot of bad things people said from when he was a kid doing that ‘what if gold roger had a son’ thing. Maybe he would try to cover up, since there would some pretty incriminating stuff on there? basically id just really like some hurt/comfort with ace and sabo/marco/wbp in this scenario. he is a sad boy (sorry this all long and confusing, you dont have to do it at all if you dont want) 2/2     

Oh, I’ve read those too! There was a Kakashi one I loved, I think, and a real good Tony Stark one! It’s a fun concept.

Also I got, uh, a bit carried away. So, y’know, sorry in advance. (edit: now with prequel)

–

“I’m not sick,” Ace says stubbornly. “I’m a fire logia. I can’t get sick.” And then he sneezes, sharp and sudden.

“Bad timing, with that sickness you don’t have,” Thatch says. “We’ve still got two more days out here.”

“I know; don’t worry,” Ace says, scooting back from the fire. “I’ll just run hot for a while and be fine.”

“Does that work?” Haruta asks, leaning away from him and the heat he’s suddenly throwing.

“Dunno,” Ace answers. “I haven’t been sick since I ate my fruit. Honestly thought I was immune.”

He doesn’t look happy, and Thatch can see why. Being sick is always miserable, and worse if you’re not used to it. He knows he packed an extra blanket, though, because Marco denies his nesting tendencies and yet always ends up stealing everyone’s bedding. He digs it out and hands it over. Ace glances at him and he shrugs. “If you want it,” he offers, and sets it on the ground.

Ace reaches for it, then pauses to stare at his hand for a second. Thatch doesn’t get a chance to follow suit because suddenly the blanket is flipped open and wrapped around bare shoulders.

Thatch and Marco share a worried glance. Ace never uses blankets, and he doesn’t accept help that easily either. And Ace isn’t even using it like a blanket; he’s got it wrapped around his back and over his head like a makeshift cape.

“You sure you’re feeling all right?” Thatch ventures.

“I can’t be sick,” Ace says, but he’s just a lump of blanket now. “I can’t.”

“Because you’re fire?” Marco asks.

“I’m from East Blue,” Ace says like it’s an explanation, but it really isn’t.  It’s interesting, but as far as Thatch knows, there’s nothing about East Blue that makes its residents any hardier. The five of them exchange glances, but they must agree with him, because Haruta drawls out, “Yeah…?”

SThe lump of blanket twitches and hesitates but finally says, “I had the crawl.”

“The what now?” Vista asks. Thatch stops to think, but there’s actually not many on the crew from East Blue; it’s by far the most peaceful sea.

But Marco makes an oh kind of noise. “There’s a disease in East Blue,” he says, because of course he knows. “Childhood thing, like chicken pox or flower fever. It’s really bad but almost never fatal, yoi. It compromises the immune system for the rest of your life, though,” and there’s some worried looks until he adds, “not harmfully! But when you get sick, it comes back, yoi.”

“Oh!” Namur interrupts, “It’s the ink sickness!” Marco arches an eyebrow at him, and he nods. “I’ve seen it before in certain parts of Paradise. That’s out East Blue way; probably spread from the Grand Line somehow.”

That sounds likely, actually. It’s the kind of thing that makes only Grand Line levels of sense, after all, but Namur’s not done. “We were taught it was a curse that went wrong, back in my tribe. Some rich man in a castle said something rude, and he was cursed to wear other people’s words on his skin or something.”

Marco nods and takes the story back. “The Scrawl means that if Ace is sick, he’ll be covered in ink till he’s better, yoi. It’s all stuff people will have said about him to his face, isn’t it?”

Ace says nothing, but Namur nods. “Stuff said about you in your hearing that you believe,” he clarifies. “My niece had it as a kid. Always real proud when she gets sick because she says wearing complements is the best accessory.”

The blanket twitches again, and Thatch steps in. “We’re gonna respect Ace’s privacy,” he announces. “If he’s really sick and he gets all decorated up with complements, we’re not gonna try to read them, okay?”

He glances around, but everyone’s staring at him. “What?” he asks.

Marco shakes his head. “Didn’t expect that from you, is all,” he says, and Thatch puffs himself up.

“I’m very mindful of people’s privacy!” he says, and everyone laughs at him. Well, that’s not nice at all, but at least it broke the mood. “I am!”

“Sure you are,” Ace says, finally talking again. He’s got the blanket pulled back enough to show his face and it’s just as it always was. “You respect privacy, and I’m never hungry.”

Thatch clutches his chest and falls over with his other wrist over his eyes. “Betrayed!” he gasps, because if keeping eyes on him is what’s getting Ace to calm down, he will gladly flop around overdramatically for the rest of the night.

And it works, because as they chat and pick at Thatch, Ace’s makeshift hood comes down. He falls asleep well before the rest of them, and whether it’s a narcolepsy attack or just exhaustion, no one says anything when Marco leans over to tug the blanket into place, covering all his skin.

–

Thatch blinks himself awake in the morning light. Right, they’re outside, coming back from that thing–right. He yawns and sits up; he’s never been slow to rise. Years as head chef on a pirate ship mean he’s generally up first.

Sure enough, everyone else is asleep. It’s false dawn, so it’s to be expected. He gets up anyway, stretching and looking around.

The fire’s gone out; someone must’ve banked it last night. He goes over to check on Ace, but the kid is curled into as small a ball as possible. The blanket’s ridden up over his feet, though, and Thatch can see jagged black streaks even from here. He steps forward, intending to tug the blanket down, but he can’t get close; the air around Ace is painfully hot.

Well, Marco can do it when he wakes up, Thatch decides. He’s got some time to kill, anyway; may as well take a walk. He might find a good place to watch the sunrise from; that’d be nice.

Well, he doesn’t see the sunrise, but he does find a tree with a bunch of those lovely purple fruits they had back in town. He picks enough to hand around for breakfast and a few more to take back to Pops.

By the time he gets back, everyone’s awake and up. “Good morning!” he says, and starts throwing fruits at people.

Haruta catches the first one in the face, but everyone else manages to grab theirs out of the air. Namur tosses his right back, and Thatch catches it easily and passes it on to Marco to give to Ace.

He drops the rest on his blanket and rolls them up carefully to take back. When he makes room in his sack, though, his fingers come across a marker that’s always at the bottom of his pack, and he takes it out before packing the fruit in.

He walks it through his fingers as he wanders over to Marco, who’s standing above Ace. “How is he?”

Marco makes a face and together they stare down at the blanket-covered kid. “You gotta get up eventually,” Thatch tells him.

The unhappy grumbling and shifting says that Ace does not agree, and the heat he’s putting out is enough to stop Thatch from trying to, uh, help. “Look, we’ll all turn away or something, okay? You can keep the blanket.”

Ace doesn’t move, and Thatch gives up. “You do it, Marco,” he says. “You’re the fireproof one.”

“I’m not fireproof.” Marco says even as he walks right into the heat haze like it’s nothing.

“Sure,” Haruta says, walking by, and Thatch catches their wrist. “Hey, what’re you–”

Thatch holds a finger over his lips and then wiggles the marker. Haruta’s eyes light up and they nod. “Yeah, can you–”

“Shhh!”

“We ready, yoi?” Marco walks purposefully between them, trailing what’s probably Ace. Hard to tell under the blanket cloak, but there’s one hand poking out to clutch it closed with a bold BRAT across the back of it.

Thatch darts his eyes away, feeling kind of bad. He hadn’t meant to read it, really, but it’s hard not to. He lets Ace and Marco go first, shouldering his pack and falling in step with Haruta.

There’s more black peeking out of the top of Ace’s boots where the blanket doesn’t quite cover, and Thatch keeps his gaze anywhere else. It’s an awkward kind of quiet, much different from yesterday’s bawdy jokes and loud off-key marching songs. Now the only sounds are the nature around them and occasional violent sneezes.

Haruta tugs at his sleeve, and they pass the marker back and forth for awhile. Thatch waves it behind them and Vista reaches out to take it, too. He promptly tries to use it on Namur, and there’s a quick scuffle.

It’s loud enough for Marco to turn around, though. He walks backwards for a few steps, looking them all over. “Everything okay, yoi?”

“Just fine,” Haruta lies breezily.

Marco stares at them for a few steps, so Thatch makes a spinny-finger gesture at him. He huffs but complies, and leans in a bit to mutter something to the Ace-like thing shambling along beside him. It’s probably about how dumb they are, but that’s okay.

“How does he do it?” Vista asks. “I can feel the heat from all the way back here.”

Ace sneezes again and said heat flares, and everyone but Marco flinches and falls back a few steps. “Marco likes fire,” Thatch says, hoping he’s right. “He doesn’t mind. Probably feels right at home.”

“Any hotter and he’s gonna combust,” Haruta mutters, and like their words were a trigger, Ace sneezes once again, the heat flares,  and the blanket on his back catches fire.

They all jump and Vista says something exceptionally nasty. Marco moves in, hands hovering uselessly, and Ace whips the blanket off to beat out the flame.

Thatch wasn’t expecting it, really, which is why he doesn’t look away in time–that’s totally why. It’s not his fault, he knows, and yet when his eyes catch on the giant letters across the back of Ace’s shoulders, above his tattoo, he still feels like he’s betraying something.

He feels that for the whole time it takes to unconsciously read and process the word “monster,” and then he just goes still. Ace is turned away, stomping out the flames, and they all know at a glance what exactly it was that Ace hadn’t wanted them to see.

His tattoo stands out as much as ever, but it’s framed now. Monster at the top, all the way across both shoulders, and underneath in a beautiful scrollwork there’s should’ve been drowned at birth.

Thank god you don’t exist crawls down his ribs, and there’s one word sentiments scattered around, all stark and pretty in concept and horrifying in meaning. Thatch, for all his good intentions, can’t bring himself to look away and his ears are full of the echo of Namur’s voice saying, stuff said about you in your hearing that you believe.

“Ace,” Marco says, quiet and hurt, and Ace’s shoulders go rigid under that horrible ink. He turns slowly to face them, smouldering blanket in one fist. There’s defiance in his eyes and mistake across his freckles.

Someone next to Thatch makes a wheezing sound, but he doesn’t look to see who because when Ace turns his head and tilts his chin up in anger, they can all read should do the world a favor and die circling his throat.

He’s a tapestry of horror and cruelty, and it’s all on display. Thatch’s eyes wander and the only remotely positive things he finds are the two brothers, curved dense and close over his heart, and captain curled over one wrist.

And then Ace falters. “What…?” he says, staring at Haruta, and Thatch glances over to where he’d written family across their forehead. He winces now, but it had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

In the face of this, though, their marker attempts look stupid and insulting. “Sorry,” Thatch says, and holds out the marker. “I had it and it seemed like–I’m sorry, I didn’t know….”

Ace blinks at them. “Why would you…?” he asks, confusion plain, and that hurts almost more than the words do. Things you believe, Thatch thinks again, and he’s suddenly angry.

“Because we’re your family, Ace!” he says. “And you were sick and scared of–and we wanted to make it even! And I never had the Scrawl but I do have a marker, and if you don’t believe us enough to get our words on your skin, then cut back the damn heat and I’ll put ‘em there myself!”

Ace’s chin comes down a bit; he’s defensive but actually listening. “It doesn’t…that’s not how it works.”

“Bullshit,” Marco snaps, and Thatch tosses him the marker. He uncaps it and steps in, ignoring Ace’s flinch. “If what’s true is on your skin, yoi, then what’s on your skin is true.” And he writes family, big and bold, under his left collarbone and right over you’re a curse.

“Loved,” Thatch lists, and Ace flinches again but stays still while Marco grabs his arm to write that over print small enough that Thatch can’t read it from here.

“Cute,” Haruta adds, and Ace goes a deeper red than a fever would account for. Marco nods and puts it right under the double brother.

“Hey now,” he says, trying to pull away, but Marco’s not having it. “Hey!” he says again, but he’s not struggling, and when Marco pulls at his shoulder to spin him around, he goes.

His shoulders are tense and high when Marco puts marker to skin, but as Whitebeard goes over monster, he relaxes a bit. “This really isn’t–”

Marco draws a long line through the awful sentence below his tattoo, and then does a few more just to black it out completely. He sets to work crossing out things and writing better ones, and Ace stands there, still holding the blanket, and lets him.

And then Vista shakes himself and says, “Give him a tramp stamp.”

“What?!”

“Oh, yes, do!” Haruta adds. “Make it say ‘pretty’!”

“No!” Ace says, stepping forward and turning. “No, that’s not–we’re done…!” He’s still surrounded by a heat haze that makes it impossible to approach, but Marco steps forward anyway.

“Come back here, yoi,” he says, and Ace tries to flee.

He makes it a few steps before Marco tackles him and sits on his legs. He puts the marker to work again as Ace claws at the ground and yells about how pretty he isn’t, and he only stops to sneeze three times.

“When you’re not too hot to approach, you can return the favor,” Namur points out, and when Ace immediately goes quiet he adds, “but it was Thatch’s idea!”

“Was not!” Thatch squawks, turning on him. “Haruta drew first!”

“You gave me the marker!”

“You used it!”

And it’s the dumbest argument Thatch has had in a long time, because yeah, he’s obviously at fault. He’s got idiot on one forearm and brother on his wrist and all right at cooking, I guess, on the back of his neck in permanent marker, but up ahead, Ace is laughing, and that’s more than worth it.

--

More scrawl fic: (ASL as kids) (Adult!Sabo)

[b00bstone]

half the ask the blogger questions please u can pick which ones

so i think this is half

2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?

my moms dad. because he was apparently bi. and my mom doesnt talk about him a lot so im curious. 2. van gogh. i feel like we would get along. we are both depressed and wanna die. and like to paint. altho hes wayyyy better than i could ever hope to be. and 3. celestine. i really fucking miss her. 

3. What makes you laugh?

not a lot tbh. my sense of humour doesnt make a lot of sense but thomas sanders usually does. 

9. What do you like to do on the weekends?

sleep and cry. 

13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.

i like exercising. i dont do it because i never have energy but when i do (as long as its something fun like biking or hiking or swimming) then i really enjoy it. 

the rest is under a readmore  because this post is long af and it gets kinda depressing... (i hope i did it right)

15. What were you like as a child?

not much different than i am now. annoying and selfish. 

16. What are some things on your bucket list?

i wanna go to space (which is crazy for someone whose two main fears are heights and the dark)

i wanna kiss someone really cute and have that feeling that all those poems and songs and books and movies talk about. the magical one. 

i wanna get married. like the white dress and the reception and everything. 

i wanna go to pride parade.

i wanna go to a gay bar

i wanna be so in love with someone that it makes everyone else simultaneously jealous and hopeful. like of course someone that loves me back too. 

i wanna live somewhere like seattle. 

i wanna go see a broadway musical in person. 

i wanna go to a concert

i wanna have REALLY  great sex. 

i wanna travel the world. 

and ill end it there or it could go on for years. then this post would get REALLY long. 

23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

its ur life. do with it whatever the fuck u want. and if people object then flip the bird at them and say fuck u i only get one of these and ill live it how i please. because maybe if younger me had heard that id be braver and actually be able to find in me the courage to leave this house behind and carve out my own little hole in this world. 

24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?

a plane fully stocked with fuel and a pilot. the pilot comes with the plane and the fuel so it all counts as one thing.

29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?

buy myself a house far away from everything and everyone and move all my fav people there and their fav people and just chill there for a while. 

30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

the ability to get a rough idea of the future. like good or bad. u know. 

32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?

Imelda Staunton

34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?

trump. one day is all id need. 

39. Are you a picky eater?

yes. i hate meat. i always have. and as a little kid i didnt even know how animals were treated. i just hate the taste. adn i hate cooked veggies. raw veggies are ok but cooked ones are gross. and spinach is gross. and there are a ton of other stuff i could list 

41. What beverage do you consume most often?

energy drinks. i had like 5 today. 

42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?

hair. 

44. How are you feeling right now?

sad.

48. Do you love yourself?

fuck no. 

49. When was the last time you cried and why?

like 5 seconds ago. because im depressed and hate myself. 

53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?

yeah. i was terrified of it as a little kid. 

55. Are your parents or guardians strict?

well the only people i know whose parents are worse than mine on the strictness scale i recently realized have abusive parents so id say yes. they are rather strict. 

57. Have you ever been in love?

yeah. requited love? nah.

58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

the only time it is acceptable to bite ice cream is if it is in sandwich form. 

59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?

no i still havent apologized to myself yet. 

60. What are some of your turn-ons?

confidence. but like humble confidence. vulnerability. being into me. 

61. What are some of your turn-offs?

cockiness. being an asshole. not being into me. 

63. What are you thinking about right now?

my turn ons and offs and how much i hate myself.

65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?

… ok so if ur from the FBI i need u to look away. ok now that the FBI isnt reading this. yeah i illegally stream movies and tv shows. not so much music tho. ok FBI u can continue reading now. 

66. What is your zodiac sign?

cancer

67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?

i dont know. i mean it makes sense. karma that is. predestiny is kinda depressing but i was raised in a very christian enviroment and the bible is confusing on that. so i dont really believe in it because then like my reason for living outside of people and my dog is almost completely gone.

68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?

to my romantic soulmate: if ur out tehre come find me bitch. im lonely and want someone to kiss. 

70. What is your stance on abortion?

i think its not my decision to make for other people. i dont think i would eget one personally but if someone else wants to then thats their choice and they should be allowed to make it. 

71. Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah. it just seems plausible. 

75. What do you daydream about?

having friends. and a bf/gf. being happy and seeing my friends and boyfriend or girlfriend all the time. not living here. i also fantasize about killing myself sometimes. or just dying in general. but its mostly about having friends and a significant other.

76. Where do you want to live after retirement?

i dunno. maybe switch between hawaii and alaska. or just hawaii with occassional trips to alaska.

77. What would you change your first name to?

joseph. 

78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! theyd get what i mean. 

82. What do you worry about most?

being alone forever and everyone hating me as much as i hate me

83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

last weekend. it was food. 

84. Who do you compare yourself to?

lots of people, one person specifically whose name we will not use tho is blub. im not gonna give away any info on this person. but i kinda hate them for no reason. theyre a nice person that i barely know but i hate them and theyre so much better than me. which is part of why i hate them. 

86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?

annoying. needy. selfish. weird. ew. 

89. If not now, then when?

good question. when someone wants to date me. 

90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

yeah 

91. What activities make you lose track of time?

talking to friends. crying. sleeping. 

93. What is your biggest regret?

not dying earlier? 

95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?

messy messy messy. 

97. How tall are you?

like 5.5 o5 5.6

98. What is your guilty pleasure?

eating a ton of cheetos. and also using bathbombs and facemasks. 

99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?

lately salty more. but my fav is cheesy.

100. What is your favorite social media website?

tumblr is a hellsite but probably tumblr. 

                                                                                                                       thanks for asking my depressed ass some questions!