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#i just want to exist and look the way i’d like to and not have people tell me i’m mutilating myself
newtonsheffield · 3 days
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They’d shared a two minute conversation during which she’d managed to call him stupid a number of different times in an exciting variety of ways. And still, he’d found himself sat behind the typewriter (...) as he wrote about anything. But kindly it wasn’t about anything. Mostly it was about her, in some way or another. Or rather, the feeling of her.
THIS. This is so in line with the canon. I immediately thought of the scene during the conservatory ball. Kate gives her monologue, tearing Anthony to pieces and he is completely smitten with her from the get-go.
I bet he still has the initial pages written way back then. Maybe they even made it to Snow Filled Paper? But the originals are surely hidden in his desk: yellowed, crumpled and tattered, since Anthony has been rereading them all over again.
A version of some of them are in Snow Filled Paper but most of them are tucked away in Anthony’s desk drawer, folded and unfolded and tearing at the edges.
Anthony takes them out and reads them from time to time and Kate has no idea they even exist until they’re nearly two months into their relationship and she’s looking for something else in his desk. She finds them in an old tin from the Jane Austen Museum and it makes her chuckle as she opens it. It’s such an Anthony thing to own, and she can’t resist knowing what’s inside.
There’s a lot of things in there from there uni days actually, there’s a coaster with the mark of a beer bottle from the pub they used to go to with their friends and there’s a daisy chain that’s been pressed into a notebook that has Anthony’s thoughts in. She chuckled as she read
Grow moustache? Might look cultured and distinguished? Set me apart from D.
Her brow furrowed as she looked at the D printed there, trying to remember who that might have been. She moved on, unfolding one of the sheets of paper at the back and her heart stuttered in her chest.
It was about her, she was sure it was. She remembered the day he’d written about, when they’d met in the library to work on their assignment and her breath caught at the way he described it.
“Are you snooping?”
She dropped the paper in surprise looking up to see Anthony leaking against the doorway, sipping a cup of tea.
“Maybe a little?”
She held up the pages, “Did you really feel this way about me?”
Anthony groaned, leaning against the edge of the desk, “please don’t read that. I was still finding my style.”
“I like it.” She said gently, pressing her lips to his. “It’s very sweet.”
“I… Please don’t read too far. I think in that one I used the phrase Aphrodite would be a poor muse compared with her.”
Kate bit back a laugh, “I’m obsessed with this.”
“Is there anything I can do to convince you not to read it?” Anthony wiggled his eyebrows, “I’d be willing to show you just how close you are to Aphrodite.”
Kate hummed, tapping her finisher on her chin. “Tell me who D is? I don’t remember you being friends with a D in uni. But you fucking hate him.”
Anthony raised his eyebrows, “You don’t know a D from first year?”
It dawned on her and her mouth fell open with a gasp, “Oh you wanted to grow a moustache to set you apart from Dan?!”
He flushed, “He had a motorbike and I was jealous! He was dating my dream girl.”
“That’s very sweet.”
Anthony hummed, leaning into her, “Would the moustache have worked?”
Kate grimaced, “It would have set this timeline back at least 5 years. Now I might be into it.”
“Interesting.”
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fanficshiddles · 2 days
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The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 51
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‘I did it because having you alive and hating me, is better than not having you alive at all.’
Claire’s heart broke at hearing Chris’ words. Judging by the look on Loki’s face, she had a feeling that his heart did too…
Loki said nothing at first, his mouth was open in shock at Chris’ admission.
‘You… you knew I didn’t want to be turned.’ Loki said gruffly.
‘You were dying in my arms, Loki. I loved you, so much. More than anyone else. When I first held you as a baby, I knew I’d do anything for my little brother. I was not about to just let you die.’ Chris yelled at Loki and turned away, his back to them.
Loki looked down, Claire saw the pained expression on his face.
‘If you just stopped killing innocent people, like dad did. You terrified me that day.’ Loki said quietly.
Chris turned around. ‘It’s not that easy. I’m addicted to the feeling I get when my victims are scared, the rush of power and the taste of their blood, it’s fresher and rich, I can’t help it. You’ve never been able to accept it, but I don’t care.’ Chris growled low.
Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. ‘I get it, Claire’s blood is the most delicious thing in the world, but I can control myself. I can stop without killing her. You could too, you don’t need to kill them after!’
‘I don’t care about them. Their lives are just fleeting in comparison to us, it will happen sooner or later. Whether I’m here or not. Vampires will overtake.’
‘Would you say that if your soulmate turns out to be human?’ Claire asked.
Chris glared at her. ‘I don’t have a soulmate.’
‘You do, somewhere.’ Loki said. 'Every vampire has a soulmate.'
‘I’ve been to every single town and city in the world, spent weeks at each place, searched in clubs, bars, restaurants, everywhere. A soulmate for me doesn’t exist.’ Chris snarled, though his voice broke a little near the end.
‘Tell Loki what you told me about your job.’ Claire said softly.
Chris clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at Claire, then he looked at Loki with a sigh. He put his hands on his hips.
‘Fine. You want the truth? Look, I’m sorry for kidnapping Claire. For trying to hurt you. I was jealous when Claire first came along, that your soulmate literally just walked right into your life when I’ve spent centuries searching for mine. Then when dad told us about the school board wanting you to have my job, I snapped. I love that job, I love my students, vampires and humans. Seeing them thrive and grow, getting excited for being accepted into Universities or Colleges that they applied for, getting jobs that they’ve dreamed of. Helping the young vampires work their way through their first few years where their instincts are at their strongest. The thought of it all being taken away… especially by you, just made me see red. You’ve got everything I want, but you wouldn’t have if I didn’t turn you. Being a vampire isn’t so bad, is it? Better than being dead, surely? Yet you’ve never forgiven me for making that decision, to save my little brother in the only way possible.’
It was then Loki’s turn to get emotional. Claire saw the realisation wash over Loki’s face, his eyes began to water as he stepped backwards until he was leant against the table for support.
‘I… I didn’t realise you’d been searching for your soulmate. I also didn’t realise how much it affected you when I was hit by the car… I’ve been a fool… You’re not wrong, being a vampire is better than death. I just… I just didn’t see it at the time and was so angry and scared at the same time, it clouded my judgement. I’m… sorry, for not being thankful that you saved me. For not ever listening or giving you a chance.
I looked up to you so much, Chris. As my big brother. You were always there for me, looking out for me. When I was told about you and dad being vampires, I was crushed. Though I did come round to the idea, when dad explained about the blood bank… but then I learned that you didn’t agree with it. I was scared of you, the way you just drank from humans and killed them without care. That was a side to you I had never seen, didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to become like that, so when you turned me, I was terrified about doing the same. I've got your blood literally running through my veins, not just as brothers.'
Chris eyes widened a little at Loki’s words, his stance softened and he wasn’t quite as guarded anymore. ‘Scaring you was the last thing I wanted to do, I never wanted you to see me like that… I didn’t even want to tell you about us being vampires but dad was insistent about telling you the truth. That’s why my relationship with him dwindled even more, he just went ahead and told you anyway. I was scared of it causing a rift between us, and rightfully so. That’s exactly what happened.’
‘I would have found out sooner or later. I was beginning to wonder why you and dad never aged.’ Loki sighed and paused for a second. ‘I don’t want to take your job. You didn’t listen to me when dad told us. You are good at it, I know that. I was all for telling the board I didn’t want it and that you should remain the head teacher, until you went nuts and tried to kill me. That’s the first time I’ve genuinely thought you were actually attempting to murder me.’
Chris looked down. ‘I know. I’m ashamed to admit that I think I was, I just saw blind rage. I can’t excuse it.’ He shrugged and looked back up at Loki. ‘I can’t change who or what I am. But part of who I am, still cares and loves his little brother. Always has done. Always will. Even it that means being hated, at least you’re alive.’
Loki and Chris stared at one another for what felt like the longest time. Then, eventually, Loki stood up straight and walked towards him, Chris wasn’t sure what he was about to do at first. Though Loki opened his arms and hugged him tightly. Chris was frozen on the spot for a minute, his brain took some time to process what was going on.
Though the moment Chris put his arms around Loki in return, both of them instantly felt a relief of sorts, the love and bond they once had when Loki was younger came flooding back. All the good times and memories.
When they let go from the longest hug, they both had watery eyes. Though as they both took a step backwards, Claire was sat on the chair at the side, in floods of tears at the scene. They both turned their heads to look at her and chuckled.
‘You guys… That was… so beautiful.’ She sobbed and pulled her cloak round to wipe her eyes.
Chris rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. ‘Well… I’m away to go back to the hunt before it’s all over. I’m sorry, Claire. For kidnapping you and scaring you.’
Claire stood and walked over to Loki, still wiping her eyes. ‘I… I understand why you did. Though not to say it wasn’t scary at the start, but I’m glad that something good has come out of it in the end.’
Loki nodded in agreement, he put his arm around Claire tightly and kissed the top of her head.
‘Though if you ever hurt or kidnap her again, brother or not, I’ll beat the shit out of you.’ Loki growled at Chris.
Chris smirked and as he walked by, he patted Loki on the shoulder. ‘Sure you will, lil bro.’
Loki felt a strange sensation in his heart. It had been a long time since Chris called him that, he used to always use that nickname for him. It made him smile a little as Chris headed out the door and took off.
Claire wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist and hugged him tightly. Loki pressed his face into her hair and he breathed in deeply.
‘Let’s get you home.’ He hummed and squeezed her tightly.
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ssnggf · 19 hours
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live for me — sunghoon
I LOOKED UPON THE MOON that shone bright, casting a soft glow into the room. i watched, wondering what were to have happened if it were me instead. his words rang through my ears like a lost, broken melody. that sad strumming of my heart, twisting at each thought. ‘it should’ve been me.’
my tears streamed my face, drawing dried streaks down my flushed cheeks. i couldn’t help but cry, because i knew it was just me now.
i wanted to sob, to really let the pain seep in and consume me, even if just for a moment. to let out a raw, painful scream at the cruel world who took him from me. my park sunghoon. gone quicker than eyes could blink. that instant where my rose colored glasses shattered into dark despair.
my head spiraled, insanity laced itself up in the back of my mind. my desperate cries as i sat next to his limp, cold body. his pale skin, his eyes gently closed. that sickness that took him from me. 
i never expected to lose him, not so soon, not like this. i didn’t even want to imagine the pain. the way he weakly stood, his lungs basically collapsing in on themselves. seeing the way he coughed up that deep, dark blood. his breaths short and hasty. 
i did everything i could, even the doctors said he’d be back to normal after a few treatments. his condition deteriorated and they still said he’d be okay. 
that image of him weakly stumbling towards me even after i’d told him to stay in bed and rest. those eyes no longer glistening with that bright light of joy. his usually red painted lips, drained of their color and chapped as he spoke those words. those words that broke my entire existence. those words that sing haunting melodies in my ears at night.
“live for me.”
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fangsforiris · 2 days
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Original Template:
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CREDITS TO ARTIST ON AMINO APPS (when finding, no name or socials was shown!!)
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PICTURES USED:
Diabolik Lovers CD’s — Zettai Kanado Libido, Shuu V.S. Reiji.
Side Note: Also one of my personal favourite songs!!
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Side Note 2: Tell me this isn’t canon. I instantly thought of this idea and HAD to share, stars!!
Adding to this, I headcanon that every time these two go out together, whether it be to run errands, get coffee, what ever the case may be, Shū is ALWAYS getting hit on, whilst Reiji is the only one shutting it down.
In fact, with anyone, they’d quickly notice how much attention Shū garners just by existing, and they’d find it overwhelming of just how many people come up-to him or stare at him.
I’d also like to think that he’s somewhat oblivious to this, or simply desensitized. Especially for the darker/scarier aspects of this, even when he was younger.
Like the only way people stop harassing Shū is when they see Reiji—
(considering how he’s taller and is perceived to have more of a masculine take in comparison to Shū, who’s more feminine,)
—assuming that Reiji and him were together or something.
In fact, you’d be shocked how many times Reiji’s pulled that card to get people, men and women alike, to leave Shū alone.
Bonus: Reiji gets pissed off or annoyed easily by this, and how Shū allows himself to be treated and looked at like prey/meat. Even more so when they stop coming up to Shū after Reiji steps in. As if he has ownership over Shū. As if his older brother was an object to be collected, a prize to be won.
Bonus 2: With anyone Shū’s with, they’d either never want to go out with him in public again, due to the fear of standing out instantly, or always insist on accompanying him to ensure Shū was safe.
Like once Shū, Reiji, Ruki, and Yūma went to a restaurant, and instantly the former two were off put and very disgusted by the treatment Shū received right when they walked into the restaurant.
As in, the aura changed instantly, all eyes were on Shū as he started to confirm the reservation.
Even when they were seated, Shū was being flirted with. It was stopped almost immediately after the waitress saw how annoyed Reiji had become, and assumed they were dating.
He even glared at her for good measure. After all, he wasn’t about to let his older brother be treated like mere cattle, disposable and easily expendable.
Ruki was immensely upset, even going as far to offer Shū his assistance if anything need be. After that, whenever he heard from Reiji that Shū was out running errands, Shū would just happen to run into Ruki or one of his trusted familiars.
Yūma was even more shocked to see Shū’s nonchalant disposition over it. As if he was… used to it? He didn’t like that. 
For both Yūma and Ruki, this side of Shū’s normal, his world, reminded them of Kou and his traumas in a sense.
Perhaps that’s why they became semi-protective over him?
Bonus 3: Reiji, Ruki, and Yūma are the Shū protection squad. They even have a group chat.
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just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—
if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.
#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify#but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/#popular media.#I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction.#But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists#because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance#and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual.#Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic.#Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic.#(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.)#anyways.#the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum#is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation.#because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or#‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance.#I’m angry and I’m allowed to be.#I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something#But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together.#I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation#Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively#Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT.#But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon#OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all.#fhjy#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#riz gukgak#aromantic riz gukgak#fhsy
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cozen · 1 year
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I simply must purchase more commissions right away!!!
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arthur-r · 1 year
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i’ve gotten really bad over break at falling asleep in a time frame where i can wake up in the morning and function at capacity. but in other news i’ve written a very angry song aimed at my father. so that’s fun
#good morning everybody i tried so hard to go to sleep when i still had a chance at eight hours#i’m still gonna get seven but that’s like. if i fall asleep immediately#anyway my dad deserves to have a song about his problems i focused too much on my mom with hard to break#although actually the core memory that made me want to write that song is my dad calling me a monster when i was like ten#however the song itself is mostly about the way my mom looks at me. where it’s like i’m not human. which is a mom thing#anyway things have been really bad at home lately like i’ve mostly avoided talking about it but literally earlier today i packed a bag to#run away and just kind of changed my mind when i found out my mom was working#(because the type of running away i mean is not as drastic as it necessarily sounds. mostly just wanted to move into the apartment#permanently and im basically going to do that starting next week like i’ll be supposed to go home but i can always decide not to)#anyway do you kiss my mother with that mouth or let your anger rise and cuss her out? do you want to fuck her or do you say fuck her?#either way you fucking overshare!! do you kiss my mother with that mouth? or tell me to shut up and get the fuck out?#and when you tell those jokes do you understand how deep it goes? cant you see i’m broken from the actions that you chose??#i just wanna get out of this i just keep getting sadder!! i’d rather not even exist does my involvement matter??#[/ly] anyway then the song goes on after that for another while. but it’s like. long. so i’ll spare you the rest#came up with the first bit on guitar a few days ago and my dad heard the chords from my room and was like hey that sounds like pink floyd#and i had to be like nope just a chromatic scale. and be glad that i was only whispering the words#anyway if you see me right now no you don’t. and i am so incredibly asleep rn. spooky scary talking in my sleep (/all of this is untrue)#sleeping is like. my favorite hobby. but i am entirely incapable of it when there are this many anxieties floating around my head#it also maybe doesn’t help that i finished the caffeinated lemonade this morning at like 1pm. digging my own hole to lie in here#anyway im going to try and stay after school tomorrow and then go to the apartment from there. rather than see my dad and pretend we’re okay#but hi from after midnight. i miss the days where i could sleep in until ten cause im kind of a night owl i just also really like sleeping#like if i could be blathers from animal crossing and nap for twelve hours getting woke up every once in a while and given a fossil and then#going back to sleep. and then waking up when it’s dark out and every once in a while getting given a fossil. that’s the life#anyway sorry for still being here. i was eyes closed for a while and my do not disturb has been on this whole time. and yet i’m awake#going to post this and go to sleep. though. cause unless we get another snow day in a row then i do have school tomorrow morning#and a snow day would actually be terrible because of. aforementioned not wanting to be at home. and being snowed in is terrifying#ok anyway i really have to go to sleep but yeah. goodnight world wish me luck again with sleeping!!#me. my post. mine.#delete later#ask to tag
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ettucamus · 2 years
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aggression against trans people is truly so exhausting like of course there are abrasive and loud trans people on the internet but for the most part. actual trans people are just trying to go about our days managing this very personal struggle while trying not to get hatecrimed. and so much of the discourse about being trans is so removed from what it’s like to be a trans person irl.
#th.txt#like for me personally being trans is more a medical condition than anything like sure i am trans in the same way i am adhd#dysphoria has largely been this pain in my ass for my entire life and i have actively done as much as possible to try to mitigate it#truly the only thing to help has been medical transition and that’s what i don’t get about transphobes#who are so into shaming people for transitioning like it’s truly just another medication for a condition#at this point idek what a gender is or how to go about interpreting my own feelings#i do know physical transition has alleviated my dysphoria and that’s the end of it#i truly am a gender abolitionist in the way that i wish my gender and sex just wasn’t even a topic to discuss ever#nonbinary for me is just a stand in for my feelings that gender is a nebulous social construct i do not support#idc if this is going to ruffle some feathers on many different sides but i am just so tired#i just want to exist and look the way i’d like to and not have people tell me i’m mutilating myself#or that i can think my way out of dysphoria because that’s just simply not happening#after 20 years and more of fighting against dysphoria i think by now it’s clear that it’s an immutable disorder#in the same way i take meds for other mental health struggles physical transition is the medication for dysphoria#maybe other people are stronger than me for being able to withstand the experience of dysphoria without transition#but i’m not one of them! and that’s okay!
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milo-is-rambling · 2 months
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I LOVE YOU PAST MILO -current Milo nauseas head in a sparkling clean toilet I cleaned literally a half hour ago and then got too high while celebrating how clean it looked and feel sick now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#but yipppee sparkly clean. gonna put a little sticky toilet gel thing on the inside while I’m in here#maybe throw up if another nausea wave comes before I can stand up 😭#I had too much cereal and a lot of water at once and like. yuck yuck yuck I feel yucky high on the floor yucky I wish I was normal I need to#back off of weed a little to become a real person but also. I’d rather dig my own grave and bury myself in it alive than work a real job#like. fuckkkkkk I want to cry. fuck retail fuck fuck fuck I’m a failure wahhhhhhh I cant even handle beginner jobs#rattling the bars of my cage screaming crying throwing up why am I alive waahhhhhh okay nvm that’s too far it’s not that bad I’m chilling#the toilet is clean! look at the bright side. my therapist when I talked about like my mom maybe wanting to set a goal for working like a#certain amount of doordash hours and my therapists number she came up with was three hours and I was so happy like. she gets it. I am#exhausted just existing and she was like hmm you should work three hours a week. like. at most.#love her so much. it was probably a mistake but also. keeping it in my brain forever#imagine a three hour work week being backed up by my therapist to my mom like haha my therapist said I only HAVE to do three hours#god three hours still feels like a lot rn#like two weeks ago I dropped a salad in a tight packed restaurant and everyone watched me drop it and then walk back to the kitchen and wait#for them to make a salad so I could leave and fucking deliver the food and it was so embarassing and I haven’t done a single order since#then bc I get so anxious that I just exit the app if I don’t get an order like immediately which I haven’t yet so no orders.#I just get high. too high. and admire my cleaning work. it’s nice. I have to do the bathroom floor still. dog hair. dust. brother beard hair#my hair and bleach specks. I need to clean the bathroom fr. I’m excited I’m redecorating the bathroom in my mind and it’s giving me#motivation to clean it and I want to work more dooordash shifts (when I’m not this high) to save moneys to update my room and the bathroom#a little before the summer. just. replace air matress bc it’s low key a trigger now. so that’s fun. so buy a futon or smthing. and update#the bathroom into a thing that I like in my extra Milo type way. while making room for three ppl to share one bathroom. bc. it’s small#small bathroom for sure. but I’ll get it lookin good. add some cute decorations. maybe a candle or two. an incense thing for when I tak bath#slay. slay. building my dream bathroom in my mind and also. my Amazon wishlist land. and Pinterest land. I love making lists of things.
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navybrat817 · 5 months
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I wish I had a smitten Bucky. Just sees me and wants me. 🥺
I know the feeling, nonnie.
Check Yes or No
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky instantly falls for you, but waits to ask you out.
Word Count: Over 2.1k
Warnings: Fluff, could be seen as instalove on Bucky's side, attraction, slight insecurities, minor time jump, Alpine being the best, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I can't send Bucky your way, lovelies, so I hope you enjoy this short, surprise fic! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky wasn't looking for love the day he met you, but it found him anyway.
“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted from his seat when he walked into the conference rooms and nodded to the spot beside him that you occupied. “I’d like you to meet our newest transfer. She’s also moving into the Tower.”
He was a changed man the moment your eyes met. Breathtaking was a word to describe you given how he had forgotten to breathe. He had witnessed many sunrises and sunsets in his life, a kaleidoscope of colors painted in the sky to both soothe and awaken the soul. They paled in comparison to the beauty before him.
One glance and he belonged to you completely.
“Hi, Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”
While he wasn't sure if Heaven existed, you speaking his name was like hearing the voice of an angel.
“I’m Bucky.”
Of all the things he could've said, reiterating his name was what his mouth went with.
Instead of giving him a weird look or brushing him off when he scowled at himself, you smiled. “I look forward to us working together.”
Bucky couldn't tell you what the meeting was about that day, but he remembered the details about you. The way you leaned forward in your seat to pay extra attention when someone else spoke, also giving him an ample view of your chest before he reminded himself not to stare. The slight crease in your forehead when you jotted down an important note. And the soft giggle you let out when Steve cracked a joke.
He suddenly wished he was funnier.
“Have a good rest of the day, Bucky,” you said when the meeting ended.
Bucky didn't have to try to smile with you. It just came naturally. When you smiled back, it was easy to imagine what it would be like if you were his girl.
“You, too,” he replied, giving himself a mental victory for not screwing up his words this time. “Wait!”
You paused and looked at him expectantly. “Yeah?”
Bucky realized he had no reason to keep you from leaving. He just didn't want you to go. “Do you need help moving your stuff in?”
“I actually got my things moved in late last night, but thanks for the offer,” you replied, checking the time with wide eyes. “I'm so sorry. I have to go. I’m in 2L if you need anything!”
“Bye,” he called after you, turning in his chair to watch you go.
How did he miss you already?
Though Steve had a knowing look in his eyes, he graciously kept his mouth shut as he left the room. He reminded him an hour later that he wouldn't break any bylaws by asking you out. The punk somehow knew that you weren't seeing anyone.
Which made him happy.
While he appreciated Steve looking out for happiness, he still had to get his head on straight.
“Once I completely trust my own mind, maybe I will,” Bucky said, even though the stuff was already out of his head. He owed it to himself to take his time. And you.
Imagine his surprise when he found a note from you on his door the next day.
Hey, Bucky! Lunch on me today? Check YES or NO.
The lopsided grin on his face wouldn't go away when he read it again. You must've been interested in him enough to ask about him. How else did you know his apartment number? Why else would you ask him to lunch?
He nearly shouted “YES” in the hall before he came to his senses and simply checked the option before he returned the note to your apartment door.
When he met up with you later, he told himself it wasn't a date. It couldn't be, right? It didn't keep his heart from stopping when you answered your door. Dressed down and casual, you looked like an angel went to Earth just for him.
“Hey, Bucky,” you smiled. “Ready to go?”
He hadn't said much on the way to the cafe since he was too busy hanging on to your every word, but it was like he had known you for ages as you carried on the conversation. Your questions weren't invasive and you didn't seem to mind the occasional short answers. It was also the shortest meal of his life, over too soon for his liking, and he also refused to let you pay for his meal.
He wanted to show you that gentlemen still existed.
“Lunch again next week?” You offered.
“Sure,” he answered, his head spinning from giddiness.
But it wasn't a date.
It was time to change that.
Today was the day. Six months from the day he met you. Six months of chatting with you between missions and slowly getting to know you over weekly lunches. Six months of falling for you more and more each day and he finally worked up the courage to ask you out.
But falling was the easy part. Confessing was an entirely different story. He would either crash to the ground and hope his wounds would later heal or you’d catch him as he fell. No matter what, he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.
“Just like we practiced, okay?” Bucky asked.
“Meow.”
Alpine nuzzled her head against Bucky’s with a gentle purr when he huffed. She was his little partner-in-crime through and through. Like you, even though you didn't realize it, the little white ball of fur helped save him. He was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to bring her to this floor, but any reprimand would be worth it.
Besides, the Tower, office, anywhere they operated should allow them to have their pets with them, especially for emotional support.
“I'm counting on you,” he teased, placing the folded up piece of paper in her mouth. “Go.”
He peeked around the corner when he set Alpine down. The sun illuminated you from where you sat in the lounge, curled up in your normal spot on the sofa. You liked to relax there occasionally to read. He wondered what book you had with you today.
Thankfully, no one was around to disturb you.
Except for him.
“Alpine, is that you?” You asked when you looked up, closing the book as the cat approached you. While the feline was cautious of some, she warmed up to you immediately when you met and solidified that you were the one for him. “Whatcha got there? Where’s Bucky?”
His name spilling from your lips was still one of his favorite sounds.
He held his breath when Alpine jumped up beside you, opened her mouth, and dropped the paper in your lap. He immediately began to second guess himself when you unfolded it with a furrowed brow. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why didn't he just ask you like a normal guy?
To be fair, he hadn't been normal for some time.
“Will you go out with me? Check YES or NO. Love, Bucky,” you read out loud with a huge smile, which was enough to make his heart race. You giggled a moment later when Alpine bumped your hand, the soft noise making his stomach do a funny sort of flip. “Okay, okay. Let me get my pen out of my bag.”
Bucky exhaled a little as he moved to stand in the doorway. You didn't toss the paper away, so that had to be a good sign. He carefully kept himself from showing any outward emotion when you met his gaze, but his knees nearly gave out. His palms also began to sweat when you gave him a half smile.
Just when he thought you couldn't look more beautiful than you had the day before, you proved him wrong.
He ran a hand through his hair and hoped he looked halfway decent since he hadn't brushed it. But you commented a few weeks back that you liked it long when you saw an old photo, so he wanted to grow it out. He lost count of how many times he imagined your fingers in his hair
Maybe one day.
Watching you grab your pen, it was like he was drowning. The tide pulled him under as you made a mark on the sheet. His lungs burned when you handed it back to Alpine. He couldn't come up for air. He couldn't breathe.
Until you smiled again.
“Thanks, Alpine,” you said.
His cat gracefully walked back to Bucky and he swore he caught you trying not to giggle as she climbed up his leg. His heart hammered in his chest when he took the slip of paper from her mouth. Meeting your tender gaze, he couldn't bring himself to open it though.
After he told himself he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.
“Not going to see what my answer is?” You asked as he carried Alpine into the lounge.
“I want to,” he replied, sighing as he took a seat beside you. His cat was perfectly content to lay in his lap. “But I’m questioning if I did this the right way.”
The note you gave him for a simple lunch request may have been a small gesture in your eyes, but it meant the world to him. He thought by asking you out this way that he could give you something meaningful in return. Something that only the two of you shared.
That was all he wanted.
You turned toward him, your knee touching his. The small touch sent heat down his spine. “Open it and you’ll find out.”
He nodded, thankful that his vibranium hand didn't shake as he lifted the sheet. “Wait, let me say something before I do.”
The corner of your lip tugged as you tried not to smile. “Bucky-”
“I like you. I really like you. I have since the day we met. And I'm going to like you tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that,” he admitted in a rush, catching your sharp inhale as he looked into your eyes. “But I know my past isn't easy to deal with. If you just want to be a teammate or colleague, that’s okay. Just. Being a part of your life in some way is more than enough.”
Alpine lifted her head and looked between the two of you, as if she was waiting with baited breath to see what would happen next.
Bucky felt a crack in his heart when you didn't speak or react, his body slumping slightly into the couch. It was okay. He took a chance and told you how he felt. He wouldn't force you to reciprocate.
“Bucky?” You asked above a whisper, reaching over to help him unfold the paper. He gasped when he saw the checkmark beside “YES”, blinking rapidly to make sure you picked that box. “I really like you, too.”
“You do?” He exhaled, grasping your hand with renewed joy. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Hurting you was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
“Yeah. Pretty much since the day I met you,” you admitted, glancing in your lap before you met his gaze again. He saw stars in your eyes. “And your past isn't your fault, Bucky. You aren't something to ‘deal with’, okay? You’re a good man. I can give you a whole list of reasons if you need it.”
Physically, Bucky’s body was in peak condition. Your confession, however, caused all of the air to leave his lungs and made him weak in the best possible way. A familiar warmth moved through Bucky’s veins as he breathed again and it dawned on him at that moment that he hadn't felt cold since you walked into his life.
Not once.
Your faith in him gave him strength. Your mere existence gave him the courage to try. And he didn't have to go it alone.
“Wow,” he breathed, relieved and elated as he gave you a small smile. “How about tomorrow night?”
“It’s a date,” you smiled.
“Great,” he smiled back. A date. He couldn't wait to see the look on Steve's face when he told him that he finally asked you out.
“And I think the note was purrfect,” you teased at Alpine before you scrunched up your face. “I ruined the moment, didn't I?”
Bucky brought your hand to his mouth, kissing it as gently as he possibly could. He could hear your heart race. So was his. “Not at all.”
He knew it was too soon to say he loved you and it was likely too soon for you to feel that way about him, but he felt hope in your smile that you would one day.
For now, he had a date to plan all because you checked “yes”.
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We know it'll be the best date ever, right? Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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prettyfastcars · 2 months
Text
owned | Mob!Lando
Summary: You took the job because the pay was extremely good. Your boss’ reputation didn’t make that much of a difference to you. After all, his kids were who you would be spending most of your time with, not the single father… right? 
Themes: nanny!reader, infidelity, sort of dark!mob!lando, smut, explicit language, possessive!lando, breeding kink (brief)
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“I’d like to see you before you leave.” 
It was the same sentence every night. Every single night. And each night, those words tormented you. You felt too much at the same time. Guilt. Shame. Hunger. Lust. More guilt. Anticipation. 
The first night, on your first day many months ago, when he first said those words to you when he came home from work, you thought they were harmless. Maybe a caring father wanting to know how his kids behaved with their nanny on her first day. You’d thought that he’d ask you about your day with his kids. 
And he did ask. But that wasn’t all. When you left his study room that night to go home, something in you had changed. Nothing had happened without your consent, and yet it felt like he had invaded a part of you that you didn’t know existed. And the worst part was, you couldn’t wait for him to do it again. 
And now, that damn sentence had become part of your routine. 
After putting the kids to bed, and making sure they were asleep and snoring adorably, you made your way to those huge doors of his study room. 
You didn’t need to knock anymore, you just walked in and shut the doors behind you. 
And there he was. The man most people were scared of in this city. The man who had hired you as the nanny for his kids. Also the man whom you slept with each night before going home to your oblivious boyfriend. 
Lando stood by the large window, looking down at his front yard which was easily one of the most impressive features of his cape cod style mansion. As usual, he was sipping on his drink. Hand running through his curly hair. He had his back to you but you knew he must have the top buttons of his shirt undone. 
You cleared your throat as you approached his lean body standing by the window. Lando turned to face you then, smiling as he watched you walk over to him. Once you were close enough, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer. 
Nuzzling your neck and breathing in your scent he said, “Hi baby, how was your day?” 
“Um, good.” You gasped when you felt his gentle kisses up and down your neck. 
“How were the kids?” He asked, casually kissing your skin like this was normal. 
“They were great, as always.” Your heart raced as you wrapped your arms around him, his body heat felt familiar and… good. It felt safe being here with him, no matter how wrong it was. 
“You missed me?” He asked, pulling you even closer as he playfully nibbled on your skin. “‘Cause I missed you. I thought of you all day, you know that?” He pulled away to look at you. “I saw you in this little dress this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking you in it.” 
He leaned in to kiss you, like he always does, but tonight you stopped him. You turned your head just the slightest bit so he’d miss your mouth. And he didn’t like that. 
“I… I can’t stay tonight.” You whispered, looking down at the buttons on his shirt instead of into his pretty eyes. Because you could never resist them. 
Lando sighed, kissing along your jaw. You could smell a faint hint of the whiskey he’d just been drinking. “Why do you always do this? Hmm?” He whispered into your ear, “Why do you act like you don’t want this?” 
He placed his glass down on his desk and let his hands wander all over you. He ended up pushing you onto the edge of his desk, stepping in between your legs. One hand sliding under your dress and caressing your thighs, while the other ran up and down your back lovingly. 
“I have to go home.” You said, looking into his eyes and immediately regretting it because he could get you to do anything with one look of those soft eyes. 
“To him?” He asked in an accusatory tone. His expression changed from calm to annoyed. He tsked in disappointment when you remained quiet. “How many times are you gonna talk about this, baby?” 
“I can’t just break up with him.” You argued. “We’ve–,” 
He cut you off. “Oh? So you can’t break up with him but you have no issues going home to him every night with my cum still dripping from your pussy, huh?” 
You used to find his crude words shocking, but not anymore. “It’s not as easy as you think.” 
Lando scoffed, “I’ll make it easier for you if you want.” 
You knew what he insinuated. He was the man he was because of his crooked ways after all. And you immediately shook your head. “Don’t hurt him.” 
That only pissed him off more. His hand moved from your back to wrap around your neck, “We’re not gonna play this little game anymore, you hear me?” He whispered against your skin, lips moving along your jaw while his fingers toyed with the seam of your underwear. 
You struggled to find the right words. So he continued. 
“How long are you gonna keep him in the dark, hmm? How long are you gonna keep going home and sleep beside him while you’re still filled with my cum every night?” He scoffed. “He’s gonna find out someday.” He stated. “Better tell him the truth.” 
“Lando…” You were barely able to think coherently when he easily slid his fingers inside you, stroking you perfectly like he always does. You squirmed and whimpered, before whispering, “This is wrong. We should stop.” 
“So you keep saying.” He answered, arrogant and smug. “Yet you come here each and every night to get fucked.” He pulled away to look into your eyes, still finger-fucking you just hard enough to keep you wanting more but not making you come just yet. “Does this feel wrong, baby?” 
You let out a loud moan as his finger hit the right spot. “Please…” You begged, you didn’t know what for. 
He smirked. “Look at you,” He cooed, “I know he doesn’t touch you like I do. You’re wasting your time with him when you belong to me. You belong right here,” He whispered, pulling his fingers all the way out before sliding them back in, making you moan even louder, “See?” 
You opened your mouth to answer, probably about to beg him to touch you more, but he was already pushing you down onto his desk. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his lean waist as he bent down to kiss you. His hand still around your neck while the other slid the strap of your slip dress down your shoulder. 
He let go of your throat eventually, still kissing you passionately as his hands quickly got rid of your dress, letting it fall to the ground careless as his mouth kissed down your neck, further down your chest until he latched on to one of your nipples. He sucked on it gently as your back arched off the desk, with you whining in bliss. 
You cried out, “Lando…” 
“I know, baby.” He whispered, “I know.” 
Your fingers found their way into his soft, curly hair and you tugged on it softly, making him groan as he kissed his way up to your neck once again while he slid your underwear down your legs quickly. 
“You’re mine.” He whispered against your tender, swollen lips, “All mine.” 
His hands quickly undid his trousers and you immediately felt his tip, leaking with precum, slightly pressing against your wet folds as he slid it up and down before aligning it to your dripping hole. 
Lando held himself up with one hand, bent over you as he stared down at you. “You’re gonna break things off with him tonight.” He said in that authoritative voice of his, the one which made you tremble and clench your thighs together. “And tomorrow you’ll be all mine, and mine alone. You understand?” 
You nodded, panting in need. 
“That’s my good girl.” He whispered before slowly sliding his cock inside you. You whimpered as he filled you up perfectly, stretching you out just enough to make you lose your mind. He groaned as he began moving in and out of you, setting a pace that made your heart race even faster than before. He slowed down for a moment, thrusting into you nice and slow as he hovered above you, looking down at you with parted lips and intense eyes. “Do you know how often I think about us living here together?”
You couldn’t look away from his pretty eyes, couldn’t think about anything else as he fucked you with deep, slow strokes of his cock. He leaned in to kiss your lips, swallowing your moans as he pulled out completely and pushed back into you, making you gasp and whine in pleasure. 
“We’ll be so happy together.” He whispered, kissing along your jaw. “The kids love you,” Then he chuckled, “I love you,” He murmured into your ear. He picked up his pace then, pounding into you relentlessly, as he kissed your open mouth, swallowing all your moans and whimpers in the process. “Think about how happy we would be.” 
You whined upon hearing his words, and also the sounds your bodies made together, filling the entire study. 
“Look at me, baby.” He stared down at you, his pretty eyes seemed even prettier in the dimmed room. “Do you know how often I think about you carrying more kids for me?” He was relentless as he pounded into you like he owned you. “You’ll be such a pretty mom, all swollen, and these tits would be nice and full too,” He leaned in again, kissing you softly before whispering, dangerously. “Would that finally make you leave that piece of shit? Hmm? Is that what it’s gonna take?” 
You tried answering but it ended with a loud moan as his cock reached all the right places. He smirked and sped up into you again, relishing the feeling of you wrapped around him like you were made for it. Hearing you moan and squirm under him only encouraged him to thrust deeper into you. 
“I’ll…” You whined, “I’ll talk to him. Tonight.” You struggled to form proper sentences as his body moved perfectly against yours. “I promise.” 
“That’s good.” He whispered, wiping a tear which fell down your face. “Because I’m done being patient now, you hear me?” 
You nodded quickly, whining as he sped up again, fucking you so hard you could hear the papers and files on top of his desk falling to the ground and neither of you cared. 
“Come for me, baby.” He whispered, his voice strained and raspy. “Come with me.” 
Your mind was foggy by then, and it took your brain a few seconds to register and process his words. Not even a few moments later, you felt him twitch inside of you, his cock throbbing against your walls. 
“Fuck,” He came with a growl, gripping your hips and filling you up like he always does. 
You whined as you came around him as well, crying his name and moaning loudly. You felt his smirk against your neck as he kissed his way up to your lips again. 
“Tomorrow,” He whispered, reminding you of what you promised, “I’ll fuck you in my bed until the sun comes up.” 
You could only nod as you felt his cum beginning to drip down your inner thighs. 
— 
He stood by the window again, watching your car as it drove away down the long driveway and out of his property. 
This would be the last time he promised himself. From now on you wouldn’t have to go home each night. You’d just stay right here, where you belonged, under his roof and in his care. 
But just in case things didn’t go according to plan… 
Lando grabbed his phone and made a quick call. Barking his orders at his guy who listened intently on the other side. 
“She just left. Go wait by her apartment complex.” He smirked as he spoke, “I’m willing to bet they’ll have an argument, and just as always, he’ll storm out to go get some air.” 
Lando knew that because… well, he always kept an eye on you through the discrete cameras he’d had installed all around your building. How else would he sleep in peace if he didn’t have eyes on his girl at all times? 
He continued, “I’ll tell you when he leaves her apartment, and you’ll move then. Wait for him to walk past the alleyway, and remember, make it look like an accident.” He sighed, even as excitement washed over him, “Can’t have my girl blame me for killing her ex boyfriend.”
--
part 2
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simplyholl · 1 month
Text
Reckless
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Summary: When you act recklessly on a mission, Bucky gets mad at you.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F. Reader
Warnings: Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI.
See My Masterlist Here
You had really done it now. You made Bucky so mad, he couldn’t even look at you. You were paired together for a mission, and you acted recklessly. You got separated from him and instead of waiting for him, you found the Hydra bunker where they were hiding.
You burst in without a plan and they would have most likely killed you. But Bucky came in and saved you. On the way back, he wouldn’t look at you, speak to you, or even acknowledge your existence.
It took a lot for him to get angry. So you didn’t know how you could fix this. You were such good friends, and he always made time for you. It was going on three days and he ignored every text, call, FaceTime, and knock on his door. You didn’t even know why he was so upset with you. You had done stupid stuff during missions before.
Finally you had enough of the silent treatment, so you waited until it was his normal time to train. He liked to work alone, so you didn’t have to worry about anyone else being there and interrupting you. You made your way to the gym, disappointed that he wasn’t there, nobody was.
You were just about to leave and come up with another plan when you heard someone in the men’s locker room. You hoped it was Bucky as you entered, the smell of soap filled the steamy room. Your sneakers squeaked with every step on the wet tile floor.
You heard Bucky singing some old fashioned song. Following his voice passed the lockers, you step over Thor’s discarded shorts. You shake your head, feeling sorry for the cleaners Tony hired. You see Bucky’s head peaking over the shower door. For a split second, you debate turning around. But you want your friend back more than anything, so you continue all the way to the showers.
“James, we need to talk.” Bucky jumps at the sound of your voice. “What are you doing in here? This is the men’s locker room.” He rolls his eyes, turning towards the spray of water. “You wouldn’t talk to me, I didn’t know when I’d be able to catch you.” He doesn’t answer, instead he picks up the shampoo bottle squirting some into his palm.
“I’m sorry for what I did. I just want you to talk to me.” He reaches up to wash the shampoo out of his hair, eyes closed. “I know you can hear me. Bucky, please?” You beg him but he continues ignoring you. He could be a real asshole when he wanted to. You set your phone down on the bench beside you. You reach down to take off your shoes then your socks.
You grab the handle to the shower door, letting yourself inside. Bucky’s eyes widen as he sees you in the shower with him. He makes an awkward attempt to cover his self. “Get out of here!” You walk over to him, “No! This is the only way to get you to pay attention to me!” You walk closer, “Tell me why you’re so mad at me.”
Bucky watches as the water sprays you, making your already tight workout clothes cling to your body. His throat bobs as he finally answers. “I’m not mad, I’m furious. You weren’t thinking. You never do. You went by yourself when you were told to wait, and if I hadn’t been close by, you would be dead.”
“I do stuff like that all the time, Buck. Why did it make you so upset?” Bucky takes a step toward you, removing his hands from his hardening cock. “Because I care about you! If you were mine, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week after that stunt you pulled.”
That was just the answer to send all your worries about crossing boundaries out the window. You press yourself against him, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. When his lips met yours, it was like you were the only people in the whole world.
His metal hand makes quick work of your sports bra, ripping it right off you. The warm palm of his flesh hand meets your breast. He groans against your neck as his hands travel lower. He jerks your leggings off in one swift motion, throwing them to the side with a wet thud.
You were never so thankful that you didn’t wear panties as you were today. He reaches between you, long fingers dipping into you. You were so wet just from arguing with him, and he knew it. “All this from fighting with me, doll?” He smirks, knowing the effect it will have on you. You clench around his fingers as he curls them upward, his palm gently brushing your clit. “James” you moan, grasping his shoulders for support.
He removes his fingers from you, turning you around so fast that you don’t have time to register how empty you feel now. Bucky presses his body to your back, trapping you between him and the shower door. The cool door makes your nipples harden against it. You feel Bucky’s hard cock rub against the curve of your ass. You try to move to create some type of friction between you, but you can’t. His big body doesn’t budge. He uses his leg to spread you further.
You gasp as he thrusts into you, not giving you any time to adjust to his size before he plunges deeper, bottoming out. You claw at the shower door, as his thrusts grow brutal. His metal arm wraps around your waist, holding you where he wants you while his flesh hand grabs your chin. He tilts your face to look at him, “Are you going to do anything that stupid ever again?” He asks, his cock brushing that spot inside of you that makes your vision go blurry.
You can’t form words, it feels too good. “I expect an answer when I ask you a question.” Your eyes are glossy, you try to answer but you only make sounds. “My pretty baby, she’s too cock drunk to talk. Is that it, doll? Is my cock too much?” You manage to whisper yes, sending his ego into overdrive.
“That’s right, nobody will ever make you feel like I do. I’ll never touch you again, if you don’t follow orders. Am I understood?” Visions of his old army days flood your mind, the band in your stomach threatening to snap. “Y-yes sir.” You stutter. He seems satisfied with your answer, holding you closer to him. His fingers dig into your hip, no doubt leaving bruises, marking you as his.
He snaps his hips one last time, burying his face into your shoulder as he comes inside you. He stays like that for a minute, catching his breath before turning you around. He checks all over your body, his forehead wrinkling as he notices the multiple marks he left behind. “Was I too rough? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just so caught up in the moment-“
“It’s okay. I really liked it.” You confess. Bucky sighs in relief, bringing you back under the water, he starts to wash you. “Hey what about me?” Bucky smirks, “What about you, doll?” He washes down your arms. “I didn’t get off.” You state matter of factly. “Oh, I know. Only good girls get to cum.”
Tags
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neo-nomatrix · 11 months
Text
(My) Nuisance
Hobie brown x reader
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word count: 964
find the rest of the mini series here
synopsis: You thought you hated Hobie, but for some reason you’re starting to like him just as much as you like Spiderman.
a/n: (maybe too much) british slang used
You hate your next door neighbor. No, no you loathe your next door neighbor. You think he is the worst person to possibly exist. His stupid flat decorations, his loud punk-rock music blasting at unruly hours, the way he would come back to his flat at 4 am stomping his boots yelling with his friends about their latest anarchist protest. But you hate nothing more than the way he looks at you.
Everytime you try yelling at him he opens his door with the cheekiest grin on his face. While you’re standing there fuming he’s leaning against the door panel looking you up and down. The worst part is how much he tries to smooth talk you.
“I already told you how annoying your music is, no one wants to hear that at 3 am alright? Some of us have work in the morning,” you complain, smoke practically coming out of your ears.
“Oh c’mon love it’s not that bad. Don’t have to be such a tosser ‘bout it. It messes up that pretty face of yours,” he says.
“Are you daft? You’re the one keeping everyone up at night with your dumb guitar,” you roll your eyes.
“It’s not that big a deal sweetheart. Y’know i'm starting to think you’re making up rubbish just so you can talk to me more. I’ll admit it’s pretty cute but you could just ask me out,” he leans closer to your flushed face.
“I don’t fancy you if that’s what you mean,” you scoff.
“Not saying that. I’m saying if you wanna snog me so bad you could just say so,” he shrugs.
You could burst out laughing. Kiss him? That’s fucking hilarious.
“You’re joking right? i’d rather die.”
“I don’t believe in comedy, love,” he says.
“Of course you don’t,” you mumble as you storm off back to your door.
You’ve decided he is the worst person ever. He doesn’t deserve your efforts and time.
You set your keys down and fall into bed as you hear amp feedback and the sounds of Hobie strumming his guitar. You can’t help but roll your eyes. How could someone be so incompetent?
You reach your hand over to where the bed and the wall meet to grab your Spiderman plush. You hate to admit it because it’s kind of dumb but you’ve always loved spiderman. Ever since you were a little kid you collected posters, figures, pins, and merchandise having to do with the superhero. Even now, your walls are decorated in spiderman posters, you own spiderman clothing, and even printed your keys to have a blue and red spider web on them.
There was something so nostalgic to the vigilante and his style that you had to adorn your room with touches of blue and red. You thought spiderman was the embodiment of “cool.” From his suit to the way he acted around criminals to the electric guitar on his back. Sure, a guitar was the main thing you hated about Hobie but Spiderman did it better. He made it work in the way Hobie dreams of.
You wake up to the loudest knock on your front door you’ve ever heard. You immediately know it’s him. You try to ignore the blaring pounding coming from your door but it keeps going. You force yourself to get up and answer the door. You hope you can open it, yell at him, then go back to bed.
To your dismay the second you open the door Hobie places his hand on the top of the wood, stopping you from moving it anywhere else.
“What do you want this early?” you groan.
“It’s like 9 am, love. But anyway-” He cuts himself off before finishing his sentence. You’re too groggy to notice that he’s staring inside of your flat. His eyes search the walls and decor in front of him.
“So, I take it you like Spiderman?” He laughs.
“That’s none of your business,” you sigh, crossing your arms.
He pushes his way inside of your flat, moving around like he’s looking for buried treasure. He picks up memorabilia and smiles at them. He holds up a Spider-Punk figurine and turns towards you.
“Spider-Punk huh?”
“Don’t touch my stuff! You know this is technically breaking and entering,” you scold him, taking the figure out of his hand.
He puts his hands in his pockets and just smirks at you. That stupid smirk, displaying half of his teeth and perfectly showing his lip ring.
“What do you want from me, Hobie?” you question after placing the figure back on its stand.
“Jus- Just wanted to apologize for last night,” he starts.
“You mean this morning? We talked at 1 am, remember?” You say, passive aggressively.
“Right, whatever. You’re… You’re right,” he exhaled, “I shouldn’t be blasting my music that early. It’s inconsiderate and rude to the people in my vicinity,” he breathes.
In the time you’ve known him you don’t think you’ve ever heard him say sorry. You’re taken aback, did he really apologize? And did he sound genuinely sorry?
“Oh, oh uhm thanks,” you sat, still skeptical a camera crew would come out laughing saying this whole thing was a prank.
“I wanted to see if you maybe wanted to come to my show tonight? We could get dinner after or whatever you want,” He scratches the back of his neck, he’s nervous.
“I’d like that, I guess,” you reluctantly say.
“Wicked. Uhm, i’ll be leaving then. Sorry again,” he says. Shooting finger guns at you and making his way out the door.
You smile, maybe, just maybe, Hobies getting to you. As he’s leaving you could swear you see some blue and red material with spikes on it slipping out of his pocket.
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ambrosiagoldfish · 2 months
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Can you write more Adam fics plz there so freaking good
Benefit of the Doubt PT.2
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Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Viewer discretion is advised
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff to Angst to comfort, General Adam TW’s, Reader lowkey-highkey has a complex about being loved, Panic attack (I’m not even sure if this is correct term or not), Adam is afraid of heights (makes sense in story) This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader (Y/n is once again not used lol)
Part 1 Part 3 Part 4
Request Box: Open
Word count: 3136
A/N: Hi! I’d like to Thank you all for the love and support on Part 1! It means a lot that you all enjoyed it as I loved writing it! I’d also like to apologize for this being a week late, I honestly had 0 idea on how to start this one and then a bunch of stuff in my life happened, so it was a mess.
So as an apology I tried to make this one longer than the first! (I seemed to go a little overboard but it’s fine)
Anyways I hope you all enjoy part 2 to ‘Benefit of the doubt’ and as always, if you do, please tell me if want another part in replies/requests/DM’s!
Proofread but of course could have missed something
Tags: @tired-of-life-86
To think love could feel this good.
You were made for it, to give it, receive it… You’ve waited your entire existence for this love, This closeness. It doesn’t even feel real now, even as you’re walking down the golden lined streets of heaven with his arm wrapped around you, all while you’ve been showing him around. The best places to eat, entertainment, or just a nice park. You made sure to show him all of it.
He kept his wings tucked to his sides, the gold contrasting with the white of his robe. The feathers at first glance looked sharp, but now, being so close to him, you could see each of them individually and how soft they must be.
“Hey Sweetcheeks, my eyes are up here”
You jump slightly “Sorry… Adam.” You avert your eyes away from him and focus them in front of you.
Adam laughed “I didn’t say you had to fuxkin’ to stop”
His wings truly were beautiful. It was hard to keep your eyes off them. Adam had only got to heaven recently, it made you wonder if he had the chance to use them yet. You remember when you were first created, wings took forever to get used to. You crashed and fell so many times before you figured out how to use them
Properly.
“Ok seriously, you keep staring, what the fxck is up with you?”
“It’s nothing, just…. Have you tried out your wings yet?”
“Uh, yeah totally, they’re rad as hell” Adam’s voice drifted off, the LED eyes of his mask looking away from you as you both walked. Was he… lying? Why would he lie?
You quickly walked in front of Adam, leaving his warm embrace, gently you took his hands as your wings picked you off the ground. The gust of wind with each flap softly blew around you.
“Well, come on, it will be faster than walking.” Your voice was soft and airy. Slowly, so very slowly, you lifted yourself higher from the ground, Adam’s hands locked firmly in yours, as he was pulled with you in the air.
“W-Wait a- shit- Wait a- motherfuxking second“ Adam yelled strand after strand of curses as you both lifted further and further into the air. His body flailed and his legs kicked against nothing. You pull him to you, his arms quickly snake around your waist, holding on for his dear After-life.
“Adam… did you lie to me?” Your voice was still so soft, so calm, so sweet.
“Fuck- yes I lied, I’m sorry, so put me the fuck down you crazy asshole-“ Vulgar as ever, his voice had fear in it, the LED eyes were forced shut and his grip around you was getting tighter and tighter.
Your arms wrapped around Adam’s head as you laid back, letting The wind breeze from the air pull and push you along its path with your wings soaring through the clouds..
“Adam, it’s ok, I promise you’re fine, all you have to do is open your eyes.”
You pet the back of his neck trying to sooth him which seemed to work after a few seconds. Adam didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to open his eyes. But the longer he kept them close, the more you would whisper soft words of encouragement to him. Eventually, his eyes slowly but surely opened.
“See? There is nothing to be scared of. I’ve got you.”
You hold him closer in your embrace. Adam looked below, the white vastness of heaven’s clouds beneath you both felt unreal, but as amazing a sight it was, Adam’s grip on you didn’t loosen.
“So… I’m guessing you don’t know how to fly yet?” You laugh a little, rubbing a spot on his back, just between his wings comfortingly.
Adam huffed and looked away “oh! I couldn’t fxcking see that!”
You held him close to you. The embrace seemed never ending, and you loved every second of it. Feeling the warmth of his plump body next to you was like a dream come true.
“Here let me just…”
You moved your hands slowly down his arms, caressing the soft flesh as they moved to eventually be at his hands behind you. You began to leisurely undo the grip he had around you.
“What do you think you're doing-“
“Shhh, relax, just trust me, ok?”
With each finger being removed from you, the grip lessened bit by bit, until eventually his hands were fully in yours. Your face leaned closer to his,
“Come on, just give your wings a good flap, trust me.”
“Ugh…. Fine but I swear to god if you let go-“
“I won’t.” Your voice was firm, yet still remained reassuring.
Adam didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t want to. But what other choice did he have? He gruffs and extends his wings from his body. The wind brushed and tickled at his feathers. The way the light hit them caused a glare of gold to be cast from them, enveloping you both. Then, he gave two hard flaps of his wings, he lifted up slightly before quickly falling back to where he was.
“There you go! Now keep doing that.”
Adam continued, his wings slowly pushing him up and up before being sent back down when he stopped. This repeated for a few minutes until he finally got a grip on it. The entire time, you were laughing. Pure unadulterated laughs of joy.
Truly, to think love could feel this good?
“See? You're a natural!”
“Of course I am! I’m the Original Dick, obviously I’d… be good at this… flying… shit.” With all the parading he was doing he kept forgetting to use his wings causing him to fall. ‘A natural’ may have been an overstatement on your part, but hey? At least he hasn’t fallen flat on his face yet!
Gently, you led him through air, giving him reassurance every few feet you flew, never letting go. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. Before you knew it a brisk orange sunset encased you both with its hue. That’s when you realized just how long you both had been flying.
“You must be tired with sightseeing all day… I think it’s time we go home and rest, yeah?”
“Home?” Adam’s voice sounded for a moment genuinely confused. Had he not been told he’d have a place to live in heaven? As much respect you had for Sera, you’ll have to file a complaint to avoid this with future souls.
You gripped his hand and opened your wings letting the wind lead you through the clouds and above the city. The angels below look like ants at the height you both were. It was peaceful, the flight back home. But it did seem… off? So… quiet? You couldn’t put it together, at least not at the moment, But Adam hadn’t spoken a word since you both left.
Adam, while yes, he was initially confused, it made sense to him, why wouldn’t heaven have a place for its people, a place for each of them to relax, to feel safe, happy, at home.
Home was such a weird word for Adam. Has he ever felt like a place was his ‘home’? The closest thing to it was the Garden of Eden but even that proved to be anything but a home for him. Ever since that snake entered his garden.
No. He can’t think about that now. He doesn’t want to have to think about that again. But oh-do thoughts love to worm their way back into your mind when you least want them to. He’s snaps out of his thoughts when your voice picks up
“Ok, we’re here! Just get yourself settled in and I’ll go make us something to eat. I didn't really know what food you’d like so I mainly just have junk food… I hope that's ok.”
Adam nods his head nonchalantly
You smile, waking him over to the small, plush couch in the living room and handing him a blanket and some pillows. Telling him to wait a second as you fetch some food, leaving him alone.
Adam thought your house seemed welcoming enough, ‘well… our house’ Adam thought. The living room was dark aside from a few luminous lights around the room as well as the small blue gleam from the windows from the night sky.
The couch was comfortable and the pillows just as much. And the blanket you gave him was soft and warm. This really was heaven, huh?
His thoughts are, once again, interrupted by your voice, “Ok here we go, I’ve got snacks and some soda” you say, handing him some of the many food you ravaged from your fridge and sitting beside him, wrapping yourself in the shared blanket.
Grabbing the remote lying next to you, you flick on the TV flipping through the channel before ending on a cheesy sitcom, you keep the volume low wanting to enjoy any conversation with Adam. Except… he never started one. So that’s what felt off.
The entire time you flew back home, got snacks and found something to watch. He hadn't said a word. You may not have known him long but even you had already picked up that he was an advid talker in a conversation.
“Is… everything ok Adam?” You whispered, not want to scare him with your random words.
“What kind of question is that, I’m fxcking fine… I’m fine.” His voice trailed off at the end almost getting as quiet as yours.
“Are you sure cause-“
“I said I’m fuxking fine!” His voice roared through the dark room. Gritty and callous, but you could tell it was meant to hide something. Something he didn’t want you to see.
“I’m sorry…” you paused. What did you want to say from here? What could you say? You took a deep breath and tried to continue. “I… I know I said this earlier… when Sera left.”
Adam’s LED mask looked away from you half shut eyes and a frown forming a scowl on it, but still he let you continue.
“But I’m going to say it again anyways cause… I mean it. I’m really happy to have you here. To finally have you home” you place your arm around Adam’s back rubbing it soothingly as let your head slowly lax onto him, gently cuddling close to him.
That word again… home. That’s all he could think about ever since he first heard you say it. Why? Why couldn’t he get it out of his head? His breathing was becoming unsteady with each new thought and image his brain made. Lilith and Eve, they were made to be apart of his home, for him to be apart of their homes. So why? Why did it end that way?
Suddenly Adam leap from the couch as fast as he could, the shear force knocking you to the other side of the couch, sending the food to scatter and drinks to spill to the floor.
“Adam!?” Your voice was frightened at the sudden movement. Adam looked just as frightened as you, at least from what you could tell through the LED mask. He suddenly began running, where? he didn’t know, the rooms in the house looked the same. But all he knew is that he needed to be away from you. You followed quickly behind him and pleaded for him to tell you what was wrong, but eventually he ran into a room and locked the door.
He looked around, already out of breath. He was in a bathroom. He felt his knees give out under him as he tried to slowly sit down by the tub. His breath heavy, it was hard to breathe, this stupid mask. He needed it off. But just as he went to do so,
*rattle rattle rattle*
The doorknob began to move followed by frantic knocking on the door.
“Adam! Are you ok?!” Your voice pleaded through the wood of the door.
“Fuxk- I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that shit” his voice cracked a few times followed by a strand of curses leaving his lips.
Home. The word repeated like a mantra in his head. Like it was mocking him. Was he not meant to have a place he called a home? To have someone to return to, who would tell him “welcome back!” Without even being told to?
Lilith hated him, Eve betrayed and hurt him like no one else before, ever. They were made to be with him, one was literally made to be his other half. The garden, his home, was taken from him because of something, someone he couldn’t control. it all comes back to him. That albino snake in the grass.
Lucifer, ‘The dreamer’… was this some sort of game to him? To toy with his emotions, treat him like some kind of plaything to mess with, to screw over? What kind of life was it? To have every opportunity and opening be broken down by him, And Adam being powerless to stop it?
“Adam! Please open the door!” Your voice was even more frantic now, knocking every few seconds before it quickly quieted down. Your body slumped against the door.
“Adam… I’m sorry if I hurt you or… or if I was going too fast… I didn't mean to… I’m so sorry…” your breath hitched with tears.
And then there was you.
You have been nothing but kind to him since you met him. You showed him around heaven, taught him how to fly and welcomed him home without having being told to. You were so different. So, so very different. Adam figure that out a while ago now. But in reality, it’s exactly why he was terrified.
To have someone who loves him so... unconditionally.
*click*
The sound of the door unlocking drew your attention and was followed by it slowly opening from Adam on the other side, still on the floor.
“Adam!” Your voice was low, already tired from crying. You crawled your way toward him before stopping in front of him, tears still falling from your face, “I’m sorry Adam, I’m sorry-“ you were cut off by a quick movement.
Warmth enveloped you, clouding your senses as a soft weight laid onto you. Arms wrapped their way around you in an embrace.
“Shit- it's not your fault, it was never your fault…” Adam’s voice was surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his regular tone. Sincerity evident with each word. All you could do was hide into his large frame and cry at the words.
Adam was never good at comforting people. He himself was never comforted, so the concept was more than a bit foreign to him. But even still, he tried. Slowly he helped you both up from the bathroom floor and made your way back to the couch.
The floor was covered in the discarded food you both left behind. The spilled soda is now dried and sticky. Crumbs everywhere.
“Here.. let me get a mop and broom-“
“No just sit down, I’ll clean up the shit I made” you lay down on the couch and watched as Adam swept and mopped the mess from the floor. The entire time the silence hung in the air by a thread. Neither of you wanting to be the one to snap the string and speak.
Finally Adam got done cleaning the mess and made his way to the couch. He sat down and gestured for you to come closer. Crawling over to him, he wrapped the blanket around you both allowing you to snuggle into him.
“Do…” your voice barely audible “Do you want to talk about it?”
Adam looked hesitant but nodded.
“You know about everything, right? About… what all happened in Eden?
You nod against his chest content on listening.
“When… When Lilith left me, I thought I didn't care as much as I did. I thought she was a bitch and that was that. And it didn’t help that as soon as she left, I got Eve…”
He paused
“Then, when I found out about that shit between Eve and Lucifer… I didn’t care then either, but I didn’t understand why…” his voice hitched “but when I ate that damn apple… I realized how hurt I should have been. All the concepts of right and wrong, good and evil, learning all of it through that fruit, I realized one shitty truth… that the one I loved betrayed me.”
You hugged him tighter softly, your hands caressed his stomach as some form of comfort before he continued.
“For the same person- Both of them for that snake…”
“Adam… I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“And that’s why… I’m scared. Scared that I will fuxk up again and get… attached to you. Because every. single. time. He ruins it. And I don't want to see that happen with you.”
Your heart ached for him, the saddening look of his LED mask as he talked only furthered your emotions. Slowly your hands made their way to his face, he looks at you confused, your fingertips crept under the mask before his hand shot up and held your wrist slightly, carefully not holding it too tight.
“Sorry fuck- I’m.. I’m not ready.”
You smile and nod understanding “Adam. I love you… with all of my heart. And I would never do what those two done to you. “
Adam thought for a moment deciding what to say.
“Promise?” was all he could think of, his voice, mind, and body were all too tired to speak more about it.
You slowly remove your hands from his mask, instead taking one of his hands into yours.
“I promise, I would never betray you, let alone talk to that man” ever-so lightly, a soft golden glow burned between yours and Adam’s hands, the gold flame was warm and comforting to both of you as it rose and grew in strength.
From the flame, a string wrapped and warped itself around both yours and Adam’s pinky fingers. The string tightened and loosened as it moved, before finally melting away leaving only two solid gold rings behind, One on Adam’s finger and the other on yours.
“What the hell was that?” Adam’s voice was filled with bewilderment
“A deal- or I guess a promise. In this case”
“Shit, You didn’t have to do that-“ this time it was your turn to interrupt him. You bring Adam’s hand to your lips, and give a kiss on his newly formed ring before lying down and cuddling into Adam.
“I know.”
For once in his life, Adam felt at ease with love. How easy it was to fall for you.
Is this what home feels like?
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sweet-as-an-angel · 2 months
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What about Graves with a breeding kink or if reader is pregnant? I know you don't rlly write for him a lot, but I love when you do.
Idk if you'll feel like answering this, but ily and ur fics regardless 🫶
Graves w/ a Breeding Kink
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Warnings: 18+, Smut, Breeding Kink, Possessive Graves, Housewifery, Pet Names,Profanity,  Fem! Reader.
He lusts for the American dream; the very foundations upon which he continues his existence. To have – to create – a family. And he can think of nobody better to achieve that dream with than you.
He’s on top of you, arms either side of your head, gasping, panting, bent over you and exerting every inch of himself as if you were crafted of some divine substance with tools far beyond human comprehension.
He’s been at it for hours now. You see it in the way his hair sticks together, slicked with sweat as it drips down his face, hear it in the thick, wet sound of his cock slipping back into you with every thrust of his hips, feel it in the growing ache in your abdomen as he fills you again, letting out a strangled, short-breathed moan as your body squeezes around him. He doesn’t let up, though.
He pushes through, gripping you by your hips and pulling you closer onto him. You gasp, back arching as he hits a spot deeper within you. An area he’d been abusing all night, 
“B’such a good little mommy for me,” he whispers into your hair, just above your ear. He presses a lopsided kiss there, lip wet from the many times he’s drawn it into his mouth with his teeth.
“Y’want that, Sweetness?” he pants, looking into your eyes with his half-lidded pair. “Want me to–” – he grunts – “want me t’make you mine from the inside out?”
You can’t get the words out fast enough; garbled and twisted, they come out tangled and in knots, as if tripping over each other to reach a unified ‘yes’. With the little energy you have left, you nod with all the enthusiasm your half-gone mind can conjure. Graves smiles, giving a brief, airy laugh. “Knew I’d made the right choice pickin’ you. Knew you’d make a good housewife for me someday,”
You clench. Graves gasps. He brings warm lips to yours as if to press his love there, as if you are to now impart upon him that which he has longed for for years unnumbered; a family.
He angles deeper, presses his throbbing, pulsating instrument into the most inconspicuous part of you that has you arching your back and letting out an almost-scream. Your knees press into the sides of Graves’ waist, tightening around him just as your cunt did. He yells, uses every ounce of his strength to not collapse on top of you, the tip of his nose against yours. Something in him tightens, snaps, and he floods you for the umpteenth time, pressing himself deeper, making sure his seed takes.
Not that you can see for your eyes being screwed shut, but Graves gazes upon you as you bask in the afterglow of his labour, feeling a smile creeping up onto his cheeks as he takes in your every feature. It doesn’t matter how many times he’s seen them, in one form or another, he never stops being fascinated – enamoured – by them. By you.
When you come down, come to, you give Phillip a smile he knows all too well – one that preludes your telling him you’re ready for bed. He all but pounces on you as you turn onto your side, taking you by the wrists and pressing them into the pillow beneath you. A dark glimmer passes through his eye, and he gives you a hazy, slithering smirk, followed by his southern drawl.
“Oh no, Princess,” he says, taking your chin between his fingers.
“We’re not done ‘til I say we’re done.”
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
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