#i just wish things would get better instead of constantly worse

[thehuns-bubble-tea]

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[neverendingford]

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[roosterforme]

Don't Waste Another Minute | Rooster x Reader

Summary: When you finally recognize that you have been hanging onto your relationship for all the wrong reasons, you end things. You knew there would be someone better for you, and it was a welcome realization to see that he had been right there in front of you the whole time. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, asshole Jake, drunk Jake, reader dumps Jake, crude language, alcohol, swears

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Check out my masterlist for more. Banner made by @mak-32

As soon as you told Jake that you thought he'd had enough to drink for one night, he called you a bitch for the fifth time. It was mortifying. Because this time your boyfriend said it in front of his friends instead of just quietly whispering, "I'm gonna need you to stop acting like a bitch."

The area around the pool table went quiet, and it took everything inside you to keep your head held high. His friends weren't the ones who had to deal with the aftermath of angry, drunk Jake. You were. They weren't constantly getting yelled at for hiding his keys when he couldn't walk straight. And they weren't driving around in a car that still smelled horrendous weeks after he threw up a bottle of Jack Daniels next to the center console. You were. 

Your lips were shaking as you met his glassy, green eyes. And then Bradley Bradshaw stepped forward and put a hand on Jake's shoulder. "That's not cool, Hangman," he said, his voice deep and angry. He set down the bottle of beer he had been nursing and met your eyes with chocolate brown ones that somehow made you feel a little more grounded. Then he added, "I think you should apologize to your girl."

Just as Jake scoffed, you returned your attention fully to him. You pressed your lips together until you were sure you could speak without making a fool out of yourself. "No. I'm not his girl. It's been a long time since that was something I wanted to be. I can't do this anymore, Jake." 

As you dug his car keys out of your pocket, he slurred, "I should have dumped you months ago. You don't even know how to have fun. You're just a stuck up bitch."

You tried your best to ignore him as you handed his keys to Javy and softly asked, "Can you make sure he gets back to his place safely?"

"I will," he promised, nodding at you. Then you glanced around the group of aviators you had become fond of over the past several months since Jake first brought you here. You were going to miss them, especially Bradley and the soft smiles he always gave you. And the way he just stood up for you. 

But right now his handsome face looked stony as he shook his head at Jake. You ran your hand along Bradley's arm and tried your best to smile at him as you left the group and started to dig your phone out of your pocket. "Bye," you whispered to nobody in particular. You'd get an Uber and go back to your place and snuggle up in bed, and you'd be fine. You knew you would. 

As you headed for the door, you heard Bradley angrily say, "I wish you would have had the balls to dump her months ago. She's too good for you."

That made you smile as you pushed the door open and let the cool night air and the sound of the ocean wipe your senses clean. If you were being honest with yourself, you probably only stayed with Jake for as long as you had because you were afraid he was going to hurt himself or someone else one of these Saturday nights. The sting of embarrassment was worse right now than the pain of breaking things off with him, and that fact let you know you did the right thing.

You shivered as you looked up at the moon and the smattering of stars that were visible this close to the city. And then a massive body slammed into you, which you realized was probably your fault for standing so close to the exit. 

"Shit!" grunted a deep voice.

"I'm sorry-" you started as a big arm wrapped around you, steadying you.

"It's you," Bradley said when you looked up at him over your shoulder. "You're still here."

"Yeah... it's just me." You sounded a little breathless. You noticed you felt safer after ten seconds with his arm wrapped around you than you ever had when you were with Jake.

Bradley cleared his throat and slowly released you. "I just wanted to see if you needed a ride home. You know, since you left Jake's keys with Javy."

You turned to face him fully and took one big hand in yours before anyone else could exit the bar and slam into both of you. With wide eyes, he followed you willingly as you walked backwards toward the railing. "I'm fine," you assure him, letting go of his warm hand with an embarrassed shrug. "I'll get an Uber and have someone who didn't just witness my ex boyfriend call me a bitch before I dumped him take me home."

"He should have never said that," Bradley rasped, eyes fixed on your face. "He overdoes it on the weekends, and I'm sure he doesn't actually think you're a... well, you know. You're sweet. Everyone knows that."

You smiled softly up at him. "Thanks," you whispered. You let yourself indulge in committing to memory the way Bradley Bradshaw just said you're sweet. Because it made you feel warm inside. Then you entered your passcode and opened your Uber app, but before you could do anything else, he took your phone out of your hand. 

"Let me take you home," he said as you reached for your phone. But he tucked it behind his back. "That way I'll know you get there safely."

You reached your arms around him but he took both of your hands in his as your chest brushed the front of his shirt. "Did you put it in your back pocket?" you asked as you cocked your head to the side, only pretending to be annoyed. 

"Maybe," he replied with a grin as he squeezed your hands. "But you won't need it until I drop you at your place anyway."

You studied his face. The orange flicker of light from the lamppost in the parking lot bathed him in softness as he waited for you to respond. The only time you ever saw Bradley get drunk was on his birthday when Natasha drove him home. But he'd been funny, never crass. He'd even carried you from the jukebox over to the piano when he insisted he could do a better rendition of Changes than David Bowie. You smiled at the memory, and then he was smiling back at you.

"You just had that one beer tonight?" you asked softly, already knowing the answer. You supposed he drew your gaze more frequently than you were ready to admit. Especially in the past month or so. 

"Yeah," he replied immediately. "That's all I usually have."

"I know."

There was a beat of silence between the two of you. Your words felt like an admission, and you wanted to know how he'd respond. He laced his fingers with yours and said, "I'd never do anything to put you in danger. Been drinking just one beer on Saturday nights in case you were too far gone to get Jake and yourself home safely."

Now you weren't sure what to say. He'd been silently paying attention to you this whole time, too. No wonder you felt safe around him. "Okay," you whispered, and Bradley very hesitantly released your right hand. But you stayed close to his side, your left hand still held tight in his, and he started to head toward his Bronco.

Silently he unlocked the passenger side door and helped you climb in. "Thanks," you muttered, but then he removed his hand from yours, and you suddenly shivered as he closed the door. You thought of your apartment briefly, wondering if Jake's hoodie was hanging in your closet and thinking you'd just throw away the framed photo of the two of you in Venice Beach. It didn't really hurt to think about it, but you didn't feel the need to mourn over it either.

Then you realized Bradley had already turned right out of the parking lot and then made the first left. "You don't need directions?" you asked him as he went straight through the green light. 

He laughed softly but kept his eyes on the road. "I remember where you live. I picked the two of you up there once."

You remembered it, too. He had opened the door for you and helped you into the Bronco that night as well. He had been wearing the same shirt he had on now. And he smiled at you the same way. 

But you were still surprised he knew which street to turn down and which building was yours. "You can park in one of the visitor spots," you told him as your heart swelled with nervous excitement when he shifted into park.

Bradley paused with his hand on the key in the ignition and turned to look at you. "Will you let me walk you up?" When you nodded without hesitation, he killed the engine and smiled at you. And a few seconds later, your fingers were laced with his again. And you were climbing the stairs up to your apartment door. 

"Thanks, Bradley," you murmured, glancing up at him, unsure how to ask when you might possibly see him again after this. You didn't have his phone number, and you had no real reason to keep going back to the Hard Deck, but you wanted to see him again.

And then you felt a little embarrassed by it all. Sure, he remembered where you lived and he had been looking out for you. But you just broke up with Jake earlier tonight, even though things felt like they had been over for a lot longer. And you didn't want to rebound with his coworker of all people, especially since Bradley had you feeling like you wanted him to wrap you in his arms and make you feel safe all the time. 

And now you'd been standing in front of your door for long enough that it was about to become awkward unless one of you said something. But you were afraid the words on the tip of your tongue would be enough to shatter the moment if you said them. 

Your eyes caught on the scars on Bradley's neck as he swallowed hard. "Anytime you need a ride or... anything, I'll be around," he said with one of those soft smiles. But when he went to remove his hand from yours, you wouldn't let him. And then that smile slipped as he took a step closer to you. 

You decided to say the words and shatter the moment, because you had nothing to lose. "Do you want to come in for a little while?" you asked, and Bradley was nodding immediately.

You didn't expect him to keep his hand in yours as you closed and locked the door and showed him around the small space. You'd spent time with Jake in all of these rooms, but as you listened to the deep rumble of Bradley's voice and his soft laughter, you knew you'd sooner recall these memories once he was gone. But you didn't want him to leave at all, even though it was almost midnight. 

"Do you want a glass of water?" you asked him.

"Sure," he replied so quickly, both of you laughed. And then he commented on the books you'd left out on your table while he drank his water very slowly.

"I have more of the books from that series in my room."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, still hovering close by. "I only read the first two."

You simply took him by the hand again, and he went along with you, leaving the glass of water behind. When you paused in your bedroom doorway and reached in to turn on the light, you laughed and said, "You still have my phone in your pocket."

"I know," he replied, his gaze dipping down toward the floor as he blushed. "I've been holding it captive, trying to figure out a way to ask you for your number."

"Really?" you asked, stepping closer and coaxing his gaze up to yours. 

He nodded as he squeezed your hand again. "Feels like some sort of violation of guy code if I ask for it the same night you broke up with Jake. But I really don't want to leave here until I shoot my shot."

You gasped. Bradley Bradshaw. Wanted to shoot his shot. With you. "Shoot it," you said so softly, you weren't sure if he even heard you. But then his eyes went a little wide, and that smile you liked so much was back. 

"Alright." He cleared his throat and chuckled, cheeks still pink as he said, "Hey, so, here's the thing. I've actually had a massive crush on you for months. And I'd love to get your phone number. And I realize that you just got out of a relationship, so I don't mind waiting a few weeks to use it."

You were still holding hands as you pressed your lips to his cheek, and then his free arm wrapped around your waist. You kissed the edge of his mustache, and his fingers flexed against your back. "You can have my number, Bradley."

He sucked in a deep breath as you kissed his cheek again. "Okay. Cool. That's good. And uh... how long do you think I should wait before I call you?" he asked, and you couldn't tell if he sounded more nervous or more excited. 

"You could call me tomorrow," you whispered, still amazed at how safe you felt around him. "Or you could stay a little longer. Maybe we can start the third book in the series? If you want to."

"I want to," he said softly and immediately. "I want to do both. Call you tomorrow and stay a little longer."

When you tugged him toward the bookshelf next to your bed, he followed, his eyes on you as you reached for the third book. You toed your shoes off and kicked them aside as you asked, "You coming?" Then you crawled across your bed, leaving room for Bradley. 

He only hesitated for a second before he yanked both shoes off and placed them near yours. Then the sight of him easing himself onto your bed and slowly settling back against the headboard next to you left you aching to put your lips on his face again. He was giving you that same warm smile he always did, and now you realized you'd been craving these glances in your direction for a long time. You'd been seeking out his smile at the bar and at barbeques and on beach days. 

He cleared his throat a little nervously, probably because you were staring at him now. "Do you want me to read it out loud?" he asked, his voice so raspy, it set off goosebumps along your arms. You replied by setting the book on his lap and scooting a little closer, because you wanted to shoot your shot, too.

"In a minute." You brought your hand up to his face and brushed his stubbled, rosy cheek with your fingers before you kissed his lips. And it was just that simple. A soft press of your lips against his, and you were in the midst of the best kiss of your life. Not necessarily the needy kind where you wanted to tear his clothes off, but the kind where you were aware of every nerve ending in your body. But you already knew, if you let them, your feelings for Bradley would escalate into more.

With your forehead resting on his and your lips hovering over his mustache, you smiled and said, "Okay, now you can read the book."

He laughed softly and kissed you one more time before you eased yourself away from him. Then you curled up against his side, and he brought his arm around you as you helped him hold the book open. Nothing could have prepared you for listening to the words of your favorite story read in his voice. You barely moved, your lips pressed together as his steady, deep voice and his warm scent had you slowly melting. 

Bradley read and turned the pages one handed, your cheek on his shoulder and your arm creeping around his midsection. You had no idea how much time had passed when he whispered, "Do you want me to stop?"

You didn't. It had been forever since you felt like this. Comfortable and safe. Maybe you'd never felt this way before. Like you were absolutely certain this man wouldn't hurt you. Like you were sure he'd never call you a bitch in front of his friends or in private. But you didn't know if it was okay to keep holding onto him. 

"You can take the book home with you," you told him as you sat up slightly. But he made no move to get out of your bed, and you didn't ask him to. So you just settled right back where you were, and you felt Bradley's lips brush along your hair as you fell asleep. 

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Loud, angry pounding noises did not belong here right now. No, Bradley was enjoying sleeping on a soft cloud with his dream girl snuggled up next to him. Everything was warm and perfect and smelled nice. Why was there still pounding? He cracked his eyes open to find you starting to stir next to him. You stretched and made a cute little noise as your chest bumped his ribs, and then your eyes opened wide.

"Oh," you gasped, quickly pulling your arm away from where it had been thrown over his midsection. "Bradley." Your voice was a combination of surprise, disbelief and pleasure, and he wanted to make sure you were okay with the impromptu sleepover, but there was still someone pounding on your front door.

He cleared his throat, but his voice was still raspy from sleep as he said, "You want me to go yell at whoever that is?"

"No," you replied as you climbed on top of him and kissed his lips. Bradley wanted to put his hands everywhere on you, but he kept them at his sides, still unsure about what he was allowed to do right now. "I'll be right back. You stay here."

Then you were out of bed and across the room, glancing back with a smile before you vanished through the door. Bradley's heart was pounding as he let his head sink back against your pillow. Okay, he needed to play this cool. He couldn't fuck this up. He'd been waiting months for you to realize Jake wasn't good enough for you, and he'd been spending months trying to make sure he would be, given the opportunity.

Your phone was still in his back pocket along with his, and he pulled them out to check the time. But when he looked at your lock screen, he saw that you had seventeen missed texts from Jake. And now he thought he heard Jake's voice in your living room. 

Bradley was out of bed instantly when he heard you ask, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came to apologize, but it looks like you should be the one apologizing to me." That was definitely Jake's voice, and he was definitely pissed off. 

"I don't know what you mean, Jake," you said as Bradley walked slowly down your hallway. He shoved both phones in his pocket and kept himself out of sight. "If you want to apologize for constantly calling me a bitch, then go ahead. Otherwise, just leave."

Jake laughed in a way that made Bradley's hands clench into fists. "You got a lot of nerve talking to me like you think I'm stupid. I saw his Bronco outside. I know he's here." Bradley squeezed his eyes closed and took a deep breath, and then Jake loudly said, "I knew you were a bitch. How long you been fucking Bradshaw?"

"I'm not," you insisted, your voice shaking. And as much as Bradley had loved reading your book to you and snuggling in your bed all night, now he wished he hadn't stayed. Because you didn't deserve this. 

"You really expect me to believe that?" Jake asked you maliciously. "Where is he, you fucking slut?"

"Don't you dare call her that," Bradley practically growled as he stormed into the living room. Jake was standing too close to you, and he didn't like that. But you were standing your ground as you turned to look at Bradley with some tears shimmering in your eyes. "I never touched her, and she never touched me. So just apologize or leave."

"Fuck you, Bradshaw," Jake spat. "I don't have to listen to a single fucking think you say."

"Get out of my apartment," you demanded. "I dumped you last night for a reason: you drink too much, and you're mean to me. And it was a long time coming. Just go."

Bradley could sense Jake's hesitation, so he took a few steps closer until he was standing right behind you. He made eye contact with him, just daring him to try something. Because Bradley wasn't in the mood to listen to him saying nasty shit about you, especially not when Jake interrupted the start of something so perfect. 

"Go," you repeated. Jake looked you up and down from head to toe and shook his head before he finally turned and slammed your front door behind him. 

"Are you okay?" Bradley asked softly, wishing he knew if it was okay to touch you. 

"Yeah," you whispered before turning and throwing your arms around his neck. 

Bradley let his hands settle on your waist as you looked up at him with bright eyes. He didn't feel bad about stepping on Jake's toes any longer. "I'm sorry if I made things worse for you by being here. But I can't really bring myself to apologize for falling asleep with you, because I liked it so much."

You laughed. It was the prettiest sound. And then you kissed him again with more heat this time, and Bradley had to convince himself to do this the right way. "Hey," he whispered as he broke the kiss. "I still need your phone number."

"Okay," you replied, and you whispered it to him as he entered it into his phone contacts. 

"Okay," he echoed as he handed your phone over for the first time since he took it from you outside the Hard Deck. You didn't even flinch as you swiped away the texts from Jake. "Now, here's what's going to happen. You ready?"

"I'm ready," you told him with a hesitant smile.

He kissed you one more time before he started to back away toward your front door. "I'm gonna go, but I'll call you."

"You better," you replied, and your smile was a little more sure now. 

"I will," he promised. "Just wait." Then he opened the door and closed it behind him as he tapped your name on his phone screen. 

You answered immediately, a giggle in your voice. "Hi, Bradley."

"Hey, so you know how you said I could call you today?"

"Yes," you replied, clearly smiling. "I do recall saying that."

"Great. So I was thinking I'd head home quick to get changed, and then I could come pick you up? Maybe we could get breakfast burritos and coffee from Lucy's Takeout? Go sit on the beach with the book?"

There was a beat of silence before you said, "That sounds nice."

"Then it's a date."

Bradley was all smiles as he ended the call and knocked on your door. When you opened it a second later, he leaned in and kissed you. "I actually need my shoes," he murmured against your lips, and you started laughing. 

"Wait here," you told him before you dashed toward your room and then returned holding his shoes and the book. Bradley slipped his shoes on and took the book in one hand as he pulled you close with the other.

"I'll be right back. Like seriously, it'll be embarrassing how quickly I get back here."

You buried your face against his chest and whispered, "It'll be embarrassing how much that makes me smile."

He had to force himself to leave after that, because the sooner he got back to you, the sooner he could start making you his.

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Just imagine Bradley reading a book to you on the beach while also feeding you breakfast. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[sweetiecutie]

Yandere Draco Malfoy headcanons

Warnings: yandere behavior, toxic relationships, bullying, obsession, sexual implications but nothing is described, mention of anxiety and depression

Draco is a spoiled brat. Since birth, whenever he wanted something - it was delivered to him in a matter of hours - maximum a few days - in a fancy box decorated with huge sparkly bow on top of it. So when you, to his great astonishment, instead of throwing yourself at him tell him to go fuck himself - Draco gets pissed (and extremely anxious)

It’d be just perfect if you were a pureblood - absolutely no restraints for Draco in courting and spending time with you. If you happened to be a half-blood - he’d be extremely conflicted, but eventually just going so far as forging your personal documents, claiming that you’re a descent of an ancient pureblood family that happened to go missing due to a drastic accident and then being ‘found’ and ‘adopted’ by your parents. Same would go to a muggleborn darling, but I doubt he’d even pay attention to them in a first place

Draco grew up in environment where arranger marriages had always been an expected and usual thing, personal preferences and actual feelings rarely being involved; his parents had never felt anything but revulsion and loathing for each other - Draco’s idea of love is extremely twisted. Love, in his understanding, is when you’re official - when everyone in the family, school, country and world knows that you’re together, tied by strong bond of marriage. That’s what he’d been taught, that’s what he strongly believes in

That leads to Draco spreading rumors all around school about you two being in a relationship, even though it’s obviously a lie. He doesn’t need you to agree with all his stories - you may deny everything as much as you want but eventually everyone in Hogwarts will know that you two are involved with each other in some way. Even if some students don’t believe all the rumors going around, they would think twice before approaching you, not wanting to deal with Draco and his buddies

His logic is pretty much “If I can’t have you - no one can”. If you happened to have a partner - not for long. Once again, Draco would spread nasty lies about you constantly cheating on your S/o with him, and oh boy, can this man be persuasive. Soon enough your partner would be so fed up or simply ashamed of being in relationship with you, breaking up on you not even a few months in dating. And that would happen again and again with every one of your little silly love interests until you finally give up and come crawling to Draco since, well, he’s basically the only person in the whole castle offering you comfort and company

Draco is mean. He doesn’t know how to express his fondness and love obsession so he tries doing so through the ways already known to him - bullying. Snarky comments and snickering seem to accompany your every smallest movement, pale eyes being always fixated on you, waiting, praying for you to make at least one smallest mistake so that he’d finally have a reason to approach you, even if it’s to humiliate you

He’d deluge you with presents, basically trying to buy your affection. Anything you want - you get it. You like that sweater that doesn’t cost a quarter of its actual price - it will be lying on your bed neatly folded, a note attached to it saying “It would look better laying on my bedroom floor”. Want a diamond ring - of course, my dear, as many as you wish, but only after official “I Do”. You want ten liters of Unicorn’s bile - “Ew, that’s bloody gross. Here you go, fucking weirdo” - hands you four bottles filled with dark brown liquid. Where the hell did he even get it from? You said it just to test his limits

Even if you do eventually agree to step into relationship with Draco which is more of an act of pity, let’s be honest his behavior won’t get any better. Yeah, he stops with bullying for sure, but his obsession seems to only get worse the more time you spend together. Draco would become extremely possessive, to an extend where someone else looking at you for longer than a few second would send Draco into an ugly tantrum, shouting accusations and threats at everyone around

That leads to thus little number of friends you had reducing to absolute zero - them being too afraid or simply sick of Draco and his constant blackmailing and threats, leaving you all alone in his clutches. Being friends with you becomes simply too dangerous for others

He’ll follow you everywhere. Wherever you are, it seems like Draco and his little squad is always a few meters afar, watching you closely. It gets even worse once you two are ‘dating’ - Draco is like a chewing gum stuck in your hair - impossible to get rid of. You do your homework - he’s right by your side, flipping the pages of your book over when you ask. You’re getting ready to take a shower - he’s already shirtless and undoing his pants “Don’t you care about saving water and environment? Y/n, penguins are dying!”

Constantly touches you. And if you don’t like it or feel uncomfortable with his touch - too bad, Draco doesn’t care. “Darling, don’t fucking resist me. You’re only making it worse for yourself” And that’s true, it’s better to have contended and happy Draco snuggled into you rather than a furious and annoyed one, tightly wrapping his huge hand around your neck

His mood swings are just something. One moment he may be all cuddly and snuggly, looking at you like a lovesick puppy, and the other - he’s frowning and snarling insults, words are pure poison. And just five minutes later he crawls back with the saddest expression on his face, “Sorry, I got really upset, I thought you were thinking about that scumbag Potter again🥺👉🏻👈🏻” - “Draco, how the fuck can you know what I was thinking about?!”

He’d never physically hurt you because, well, Draco is a pussy. The maximum is pressing you against the wall with his hand around your throat, not choking but just holding you in place while glaring down at your smaller form. All the damage that he causes is mostly emotional. You’d definitely develop paranoia because of his constant stalking, feeling as if even walls have eyes and ears, intently watching your every move. Constant anxiety caused by Draco’s harsh words and treatment, may lead to deep depression

From the good things - he’s really eager to please you. As I said - whatever you want - you get, even if that’s not a material thing. Fame, power, influence - all of that is real and you can get it easily by simply being with him. But the more Draco gives you, the more demanding he gets - everything has its price. At first simple affection will be the greatest repay, but the older you both get - the more sexual turn it all gets

Draco would go absolutely insane during the summer break. He’ll be writing you a few times a day, demanding an answer from you containing a detailed description of your day, who you were talking to and all the conversations themselves. He’d defo get a pair of those double ended mirrors for you two (Wizarding FaceTime lmao) so he can see your beautiful face and hear that lovely voice of yours. And oh, don’t you dare not responding to his tenth call of a day - it’ll end up in a biggest tantrum

His parents noticing Draco’s obsession way too late, not being able to fix nor influence son’s unhealthy behavior. Narcissa tries to reason with her son, cool his eagerness and patroon a bit down, for the sake of both him and you. But Draco sees that as a betrayal, his twisted mind turning it into his family trying to turn you against him, to take you away from him. Now he sees it all - he doesn’t need their approval nor their blessing, he’ll have it his way anyways. It ends with Draco basically forcing marriage upon you, doing what he’s been longing for all these years - claiming you as his, so that no one could ever doubt the special bound you two have

After all, you two were always meant to be

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Writers live off feedback!💖

[just-some-trans-nobody]

December Christmas Monster stories

December 13.) Half giant x GN reader

Warnings: depression, hating job, job quitting, size difference

Minors Don't Interact!

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Working as one of Santa's elf was a seasonal job, the pay was shit but it was fun. Pretty much volunteer work. There was a bonus though. It came in the form of the man playing Santa named Treg. 

He was a half giant and standing next to him in your work uniform you really did look like a Christmas elf. Treg was kind to everyone, always smiling. You couldn't help but be drawn to him. It helped that you were one of his main elfs. Every shift he had you worked too. Always right next to him helping him with the kids or getting him water. Any time he had to get up and walk somewhere you were with him to make sure he didn't bump into any kids. It was hard seeing kids when you were that big. Treg was always so happy when you helped him out. Constantly thanking you for every little thing you did for him. 

Treg often would make you a cup of hot chocolate during your shared break. It always tasted better when he made it. The two of you would always chat the whole break before going back to going to work. 

The work gossip was that both of you were dating in secret. Though any time the two of you were confronted Treg vehemently denied it. You did so too, just less convincing than him. One of your coworkers noticed this and asked you in private if you wished you were dating him. You frowned as you nodded your head. They gave you a look of pity before walking away. 

They must have said something to Treg because after that day he started avoiding you. It hurt badly when suddenly your schedule changed from his. You had been replaced by another worker who preferred to pose for the photos and flirt with all the parents instead of helping Treg. Not that you could do anything about it, you were assigned to a different Santa. He was a satyr who didn't care about his job, he worked the dead shift hardly anyone came around when he worked and he liked it that way.

Your fun job became miserable in less than a week all because you couldn't get a handle on your dumb one sided crush. You didn't smile at work anymore, what was the point?

Before the end of the second week you had turned in your uniform and quit. You went home and cried that night. The next day you went out to the store to go get comfort food. Walking around the store you filled your cart with tooth rotting snacks. Your heart hurt so you wanted your stomach to hurt more to take your mind away from it. 

Walking around absentmindedly you didn't pay attention to anything until you heard heavy footsteps. Looking up you saw Treg approaching you. You had the urge to run away from him but found yourself frozen in place. “Y/n? I heard you quit? Why did you do that?” His voice sounded heart broken. Why did he sound heart broken? Treg was the one who rejected and ignored you, not the other way around. 

“What does it matter to you? You made it clear you didn't like me when you started ignoring me.” You snorted, turning your head to look anywhere but at him. “I only started distancing myself because I realized I liked you too and that scared me. I'm constantly scared that I'm not going to know your next to me and I'll accidently hurt you.” Treg explained stepping closer to you. “Didn't every day we worked together prove I could handle that? You never hurt me before, why worry about that now?” You asked, glancing at him. “Because the thought of being with you meant a higher chance of hurting you but when you were gone it hurt even worse.” His eyes were starting to water as he talked. 

How could you be upset at that face? Looking down at your feet you stepped forward reaching your hand out to hold his sleeve. “I'd take that risk to be with you.” You told him, looking up at him. “For you? I'd risk anything.” Treg said carefully, holding your hand in his large one. You looked like a doll compared to him, you kind of liked it. 

[transmascissues]

i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!

(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)

something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.

on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.

on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.

also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.

also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.

my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.

i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.

my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.

at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.

walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).

one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.

fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.

one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.

as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.

on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.

i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.

i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.

i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.

i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.

y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!

[shrimpsuru]

Bucchigiri doodles! I really like this show, I think everyone is super charming and fun! And all the designs are all so good ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝

I'm gonna go on a quick rant about Arajin, because I have no one to talk about this with, so let me shout into the void:

Okay- So as I watching the show, I really liked everyone. I thought Arajin and his pathetic-ness and wet cat nature was charming, He's a loser and I love him for that! Even when he was being a bit of an asshole I was still quite fond of him, He's flawed and that's what made him interesting. He's a bit more complex than people give him credit for. Since my opinion of Ara was fairly positive, I thought most people would agree- (I didn't think he was all that bad and most people would also find him charming) I was so surprised when I found out how many people absolutely hate this guys guts, it was so different from what I excepted lmao. I understand being annoyed with Ara and I can see how some might not like him too much, but they were on my boy's ass 💀

First of all, Ara doesn't want OR like to fight, he's just a regular teen boy, he's nothing like this big buff dudes who are constantly look for someone strong to punch. If it weren't for Senya, Ara would've been done for by now. All Ara want's is to get a girlfriend, and that's normal for a boy his age!! Everyone else in the show are the freaks, my guy just wants love!! The only reason he fights is because his delusional ass is in love with a girl who knows she can play him like a fiddle, or when he's backed into a corner an has no other choice. Arajin wanted a slice of life high school romance and was instead thrown into the middle of a gang war with a bunch of dudes who are hellbent on fighting lmao

He's just a silly little guy!! He's not built for all this violence!!

Don't get me wrong the way Ara treats Matakara is frustrating at times, and I wish they would just talk (And I'm gonna be honest the fact Matakara still looks at Ara positivelyis really surprising lmao (I'd hold one hell of a grudge but I'm just petty)) but at the same time, I don't really blame Ara. He feels guilty, and in reality he probably hates himself (For multiple different reasons). He left Matakara behind and it eats at him, just the thought of the memory triggered a nervous stomach ache. Matakara is a walking reminder of what Ara doesn't like about himself, of course he's going to avoid him like the plague. Doesn't mean its good, or even healthy but that's just how people are. Even so Ara is only ever outwardly hostile towards Matakara when the past is brought up, every other time he can have a somewhat normal interaction (even if its reluctant). And with the newest episodes, Ara is now being a bit softer with him. Progress! Its small, but still progress!

Also small complaint, there are SO many worse mcs that do far more unbearable things, Arajin is practically a saint in comparison lol ( Doesn't mean anyone not liking him is invalid or anything, again I can totally understand why some don't like him!! Just because he's better than most doesn't mean he still cant be bad for people!! ☆(＃××))

Rant over- Am I thinking to far into it? perhaps. but who cares! It's a silly show at the end of the day and I just like to yapp passionately into the void

[pumpkinbxtch]

･⁠｡ﾟ “Lovelorn” .⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

— leo valdez x daughter of apollo!reader

Summary: You and Leo have been friends for a long time. You fight too hard to let him know what you feel and you receive help... divine

Warnings: swear words, mentions of minor burns (really minor)

A/N: English is not my first language, so sorry if it's bad.

Word Count: 2,094

°

The two of you were friends, so close, that you couldn't help but feel bad about yourself as you sighed as you watched him pass by.

«Just a few more days and we will be at camp», you found yourself counting the hours to always have him by your side. Damn, you were obsessed.

Gradually, you stopped making your pen write, and it was now making a constant noise against the library table, your eyes still following his figure along the shelves of books. Why he was it taking so long?

—You've already gone over that shelf five times.— You mumbled and temporarily stopped tapping with the pencil.

The brunette turned to you and smiled with a raised eyebrow. — Shall I distract you, señorita? — Your heart stopped, and you turned your gaze to the notes, trying to hide the red tint that spread across your face, meanwhile, your friend continued passing the shelves and sporadically glancing at you discreetly. He thought you had been acting very strange for a while now, and constantly wondered if it was because of something he had said or done. If so, Leo blamed his loose tongue and the natural insolence of his being, but he could swear by Styx lagoon that had not done something.

When he finally found what he wanted, he returned to the table with you, you, as expected, had almost finished your homework while he hadn't even started.

—Are you almost done, nerd?

You frowned.

— Nerd? Or are you an idiot?

Leo let out a laugh that if it weren't for the silence of the library you would never have had the pleasure of hearing. He settled down and began to write while carefully studying a mechanics book.

—Isn't your father the best mechanic in the universe?

A smile appeared on Leo's lips without looking away from the book and from the book to the notebook. He looked stupid good, his shoulders, his fingers running across the page and his curls falling down his face due to gravity. Blessed gravity.

— I would like him to teach me what I need to know instead of doing godly things and getting me involved in suicide missions, but I don't think that's going to happen, right?

You leaned back to lean your back on the old wooden chair, this allowed you to have a better view of Leo. However, as soon as you realized how stupid that reason was, you felt the heat on your cheeks making you regret it.

— I guess — You cleared your throat and rubbed your cheek hoping it wasn't apparent but the movement caught Leo's attention.

— You feel bad? — He said quickly.

You gasped and shook your head left and right, praying you didn't look as pathetic as you felt.

Leo left the pen next to his notebook. — Come — he said with his hand suspended in the air. You hesitated to lean towards him, you knew that would make it worse, however, like the desperate Leo he was, he didn't wait to rise slightly from his seat and reach out to you. Not even two seconds had passed when he had already gently placed the back of his hand on your cheek. You wanted to die or be swallowed by the earth, but not exactly in that order, or if the gods wanted, all at once. But, as usual, your wishes were not listened to or at least those were not heard.

When Leo's eyes met yours, you couldn't help but pull back, which gave Leo an ache in the chest.

— Everything is alright? — He said when he was finally sitting again, his expression went from calm to serious. Leo was always joking and teasing you, but yes, if he wanted to talk about something serious, he didn't waver in the attempt. You knew it well, and that made you press the edges of the table with enormous anxieties.

So easy that it would be to lie to him with a simple “yes” but your feelings twisted in your stomach and your heart felt a pain that danced between fear and desperation. You were so sick of feeling that fear and not telling him, but you were also terrified of what he would think. Would you be on the same page? Or was it just Leo's stupid attitude with everyone?

— Hey — Leo passed his hand in front of your eyes, bringing you back to earth, you looked at him, still speechless. — Are you ok? Shall we go to the infirmary, or can you handle it? — His index finger pointed to your golden necklace with a sun engraved on it, you immediately pressed it against you.

How did you go from being joking to being terrified of your emotions? You wished it were easy.

And then, your mouth opened without permission:

— No. I need you.

You two stood silent, even everyone in the library seemed to hold their breath.

Leo raised his eyebrow and leaned forward.

— Excuse me?

— Don't you notice, idiot?

For a moment, it was like hearing yourself in the third person, you couldn't believe those words were coming out of you. The fear seemed to vanish out of nowhere.

Your best friend looked down as he took the pen and tapped it on his notebook. — Notice what?— he muttered, looking back at you.

— That I like you.

Leo opened his eyes, and you felt your stomach twisting again, but definitely one less burden on your back. Now you were wondering, would it be very stupid of you to say it was a joke?

Yeah, he would forgive you.

You Laugh — N-no, I don't…

— And you to me.

Both fell silent and Leo snorted.

— Were you going to say it was a joke? — Leo frowned and squeezed the pen, the small device began to melt in his hand.

Seeing this, you muffled a scream and covered his hand without stopping to think twice. The fact was that you were no less sensitive to heat than the plastic pen, which caused a cry of pain to echo throughout the library, earning you several looks and scoldings.

You held your hand with your good one and hunched over in your pain, holding back any more sobs that might bother others. Leo quickly jumped out of his chair to walk past you and kneel, asking to see your hand. With your thoughts fuzzy, you shook your head repeatedly.

— Let me see

You denied.

— Give me your hand!

You denied again.

— Que la chingada, give me your hand!

— YOUNG PEOPLE, KEEP SILENCE — Miss, are you okay? — The librarian looked at your hand and put her hands on her chest, totally scandalized — What are you waiting for, sir? — The old woman pointed at Leo, causing him to fall onto the carpeted floor — Take your girlfriend to the infirmary immediately!

Leo looked at her dumbfounded, still on the floor.

The librarian looked quickly at you, still pressing your hand against your chest, she looked back at Leo and snorted exaggeratedly.

— NOW!— She shouted, breaking her own rules.

— Yes ma'am!

Leo stood up and analyzed you, still struggling with the pain.

— Al carajo, pues. — And he carried you.

It certainly would have been one of your fantasies, if it weren't for the fact that you felt like your hand was melting. Leo's arms carried you by the back of your thighs, while his right hand kept your head resting on his chest. When had he become so strong?

— I had some Ambrosia in my backpack — You whispered in Leo's ear, he stopped at the door of the infirmary, panting. He gave you a look of disbelief.

— And you tell me right now?

You raised your blistered hand, that broke Leo's heart.

—I'll let them take a look at you anyway. —And he entered, still with you in his arms.

To your surprise, the room was empty, but Leo decided that it would be best to wait.

After a few minutes, Leo scratched the back of his neck and gave you a nervous look from the doorway, waiting for someone to enter. Of course, you had completely forgotten.

You settled on the stretcher, making space for Leo, and patted the space with your good hand. He didn't argue and walked over to sit down, probably just as impatient with the situation that had caused your burns.

—Leo…

— It was a joke?

Both looked forward, contemplating a diagram of the human nervous system seemed more comforting than facing each other face to face.

You sighed and looked at your hand, red and blistered, it looked slightly better, it was your nature as a demigoddess after all, but it still hurt. The words stuck in your throat, but you fought it.

—Would it be bad if I told you I wasn't joking?

Leo turned to you with unfocused eyes, his fingers twitching around one another, probably missing not having gears and parts in his hands to calm his nerves.

— Are you serious? — Leo approached impulsively, making your heart skip a beat.

— Sorry, I didn't mean—

His hands cupped your cheek, and he pressed his lips to yours, then he turned away from him to look into your eyes with a smile. He kept his hand on your chin and caressed it gently, his fingers traveled to your forehead to brush away strands of hair, Leo looked at you tenderly and leaned down to kiss several places on your cheek.

—Is that a “I like you too?” — you asked between giggles while Leo continued attacking your face affectionately.

He pulled back and admired you.

— I told you, but I don't mind repeating it.— I, — he pointed to himself dramatically — am a sucker for you.—

You pouted and leaned towards him. — Aren't you always?

— Hey! — He laughed and poked your rib, causing you to join him.

Suddenly, the figure of a man appeared at the entrance to the nursery, both looked in his direction, and Leo stood up.

—Are you sure any of you feel bad? I notice they are in too good a mood.— Said the medical assistant with what seemed like a play on his words. You couldn't see his full face, as it was hidden behind a mask, but the golden curls looked familiar.

Leo cleared his throat. — I'll go get our things, let him check you out. I'll be back in a few minutes.— And he walked toward the doorway.

You nodded and watched the doctor approach with a tray full of instruments for healing. Strangely, just the one your injury required.

— Your hand — He said, the tone also became familiar to you. Curiosity hovered, and you tried to recognize him with the mask on, when the doctor realized he looked up and you were left speechless.

Those blue eyes.

— Father! — You screamed and he removed his mask.

— Trapped — He said sweetly, still paying attention to your hand.

The words didn't come, but the realization hit you like a bucket of cold water.

— You were — Apollo looked at his daughter with a bright smile. — I would never have said that in my life, you forced me!

The god rolled his chair back.

— No, darling. I just sent you a wave of self-confidence — Apollo took your hand in his and lightened up, making any discomfort and any apparent burn disappear.

Your eyes locked onto your father, and you stuttered, the god raising his shoulders.

— What? I made you waste less time with that son of Hephaestus, who is practically my brother, which makes Leo my nephew, but also my son-in-law.

— Dad! — Apollo smiled and winked at you.

—But we don't have DNA, so it doesn't matter.

— Dad!

— Oh, what? I just helped, you asked me to, so did I make my daughter happy or not?

You couldn't deny such a question.

— Good! Ready! I love you, bye

And he disappeared in a burst of light, leaving you with your mouth open.

You raised your fist in the air, and before you said anything, Leo appeared.

— All good?

He looked for the doctor and asked you silently. You sighed and turned to him.

— What happened with? —You gave him a kiss. Leo let go of his backpack and pulled you close to him.

When you broke away from his lips, you smiled at him and grabbed his backpack from the floor, offering your now healthy hand for Leo to take. That made him squint.

— Come on, we have to find something to burn as an offering. I'll tell you on the way.

— Yes my Lady

And you make your way to the main dining rooms.

----

N/A Bless the gods if you made it this far. Thanks, kisses. If you have any request, go to my profile.

[frogychu]

Antirrhinum

ellie x gn!reader

ch. 1 of 4

other parts: 2 / 3 / 4

word count: 2k

Hanahaki (花吐き病) : disease affecting the lungs, proven to be caused by keeping one's true feelings hidden for too long

Or

Where you and Ellie have been friends for years until she finally slips up, coughing up petals in front of you.

a/n : errmm hiii first time posting my fics on tumblr so of course it will be cross posted on AO3 here!

You’re making your way to the stables but just barely, you’re moping, practically limping. You’re late to an evening patrol, and you knew you'd never hear the end of this one. When you open the gates, the stablekeeper looks at you with pity as he's taking your attendance.

"I'm afraid she's beaten you to it." He tells you.

You give him an understanding nod and keep slowly making your way into the stables. The closer you get to the patrol board, the better you see the giant smile on her smug face.

Ellie Williams, the only girl who can make your heart sing and your blood boil. Even if the two of you are constantly at each other's throats, you have to admit that you've recently grown to have a little crush on her. You're not sure if this makes your constant patrolling with her better or so, so much worse.

Even if the two of you are friends, you've never really been emotional with one another; exchanging insults and constantly battling with each other was all you knew. You both kept to yourselves regardless.

Sometimes, you wish things were different. You crave to know her more, to let her show you all of her inner works, anything more than you have already. But you keep it to yourself for now.

She beams at you, "Looks like I'll be driving the bus today!"

"It's a horse." You state plainly.

"Shut up, I'm hilarious and you know it. Plus I won, so you're not allowed to make fun of me."

You don't care to answer and instead just roll your eyes. She clearly takes offence to it as she gasps dramatically.

Regardless of your bickering, you had a job to do, so you shamefully get on the back of Shimmer and hold onto Ellie.

-

Sometimes, your weird frenemy relationship was a bonus, especially for patrol. They would be idiots not to pair the two of you together since you were both the most efficient at your jobs.

Your partner looks back at you with a smirk as you approach a neighbourhood, "You take that one, I'll take this one." She says as she points to two snow-covered houses across from each other. Easy enough and by the sounds of it, there are only a few infected in each house.

"Deal." You reply.

You've both come to a point of mutual understanding that you can both handle yourselves well, but only use your guns in case of emergencies. So, as soon as you both hop off of Shimmer, you're bolting to your assigned houses.

You climb in through a window, fearing that the front door might make too much noise.

The house only has one floor and it only has 3 runners.

A breeze.

You take down the first one with your knife behind a couch, the second in the kitchen, and the last one in the entrance.

Before you knew it you were out the front door in record time, ready to rub it in Ellie’s face. That is if she hadn't beaten you to it already.

She’s outside petting and talking to her horse. She only turns to look at you for a split second, "Took you long enough!"

You half-heartedly accept your defeat, "Yeah, yeah, you're the greatest blah blah."

She laughs, "Oh, look at that! You're learning."

Her laugh sounds like heaven's bells ringing in your ears, paired with a perfect dimpled smile, she's been getting to you a lot more lately.

You push it deep down as you climb onto the horse again and set on course. The rest of the patrol is uneventful, no infected, and nothing new to report. There was just occasional small talk and comfortable silence as Shimmer carried you throughout the neighbourhood.

Ellie takes the lead and signs you both in at the lookout once you get there; a large house on the outskirts of the residential area. You take the liberty of looking around the house for supplies and to sneak away into the attic which is, in your opinion, one of the best patrol views.

As you grab the string to pull down the ladder, Ellie hears you as it comes down.

"Hey! Who said you could run off!"

The cold attic breeze hits you harshly as you start climbing, “Hurry up and come with me then!”

“Hold your horses I'm coming!” She yells back at you.

When you reach the top, you shake the snow off of your pants and quickly walk over to the large opening of the sunken roof. It's beautiful. The snow of the onlooking houses glittering perfectly in the light of the sunset, the trees rustling in the cool wind, the bright orange light in the swirling clouds.

Ellie had already quickly caught up behind you and her mouth is agape as she looks at the scenery in front of her, “Why have you never shown me this? I thought it was just some random storage thing.”

You turn to look at her, trying not to get distracted by how perfect she looks in this lighting. “Because you hate my guts, remember?”

She chuckles lightly at your comment, “Right, yeah.”

You both sit in tantalizing silence, unsure of what to say. She didn't try to prove you wrong just now, you don't know how to take it.

Did you go too far? She looks almost… upset?

Fuck.

She finally breaks the silence as she twiddles with her hands, "We should uhm, head back."

You nod your head, "Right! Yeah."

Neither of you even bother to put the attic ladder away and just head straight to Shimmer. The ride back was quiet, only the sounds of Ellie trying to clear her throat fill the silence.

"Did you, uh, want water or something?" You ask in an attempt to make the situation less awkward.

"I'll be fine." She says sternly, keeping her head straight and eyes on the road.

It's quiet again until you get back home. She gives you the softest ‘bye’ as she leaves. You barely hear it as you wave at her and part ways. You try not to think of today any longer and go straight to sleep before the sun even has a chance to set completely.

-

You jolt awake in a pool of your sweat, hand on your chest as you try to catch your breath.

"Just a bad dream." You comfort yourself, before plopping back onto your pillow.

The bright red lights of the clock were too difficult to ignore, reading 4:17 AM

Too early.

You knew you couldn't fall back asleep, in case your bad dream came back so you decided to get up and get out of bed. Though, not before taking your blanket and wrapping yourself in it, so you don't have to deal with the cold midwinter air. As you walk to the living room, you stop to look out the windows.

Everything is so still and serene at this hour. The moon is big, and the light coming from it is comforting. As you sit there, basking in the serenity, another light comes on.

It's Ellie's room, or, as you like to call it when you're irritating her, her shack.

Usually, when her light comes on, it's your cue to start getting ready, to beat her to the stables if you have a morning shift. But this time was different, she's never usually up this early or coughing this much. You're starting to get worried, but quickly brush it off.

Would it be weird to knock on her door? Make sure she's ok?

Probably.

You shake the thought away and head down the stairs, with a picture of what you just saw in the back of your mind. It had only been 10 minutes since you woke up, and even though it felt much longer than that, you decided it was too early for breakfast.

So you watch a movie. Just a random action movie; Curtis And Viper.

Ellie wouldn't shut up about this movie, claiming it was way better than whatever's your favourite movie.

You didn't want to let her win, but it couldn't hurt to watch something different. Besides, you couldn't help but admit that it made you feel a little closer to her; getting into something you knew she liked.

She can never know about this, you thought, as you turned up the volume and settled in.

-

The whole movie lets you kill enough time to start your day at a more reasonable hour. Even if the ending was getting to you enough to want to see the second movie, you power through and went to get dressed.

As you pick out clothes for the day, you couldn't help but peek out your window again, looking into your neighbour's small house.

This time, she's sitting on the side of her bed with-

Joel?

It looks like they're talking about something important, he's comforting her. He wipes away her tears and pulls her into a warm embrace.

You shouldn't be watching this.

Frantically, you go back to getting ready, skipping every other step of your morning routine and speeding out the door.

-

The stablekeeper greets you as you brush past him to go look at the patrol board.

Of course, you and Ellie are paired to do a route in the trails. Usually, you would be celebrating the fact that you got here first but you can't help but pace as you wait for her to arrive. You can't stop thinking about your unintentional snooping. Should you bring something up? Would she be upset if you saw her? What if by some miracle she found out you watched Curtis and Viper?

You try to take Shimmer out of her stable to try to take your mind off of things but before you can go see her, Jesse stops you.

"You won't be needing her today, we'll get someone else to do the route for you."

You look at him, puzzled. "Oh? Why?"

"It's Ellie, she's uh," he pauses and looks away. "She's sick. Joel alerted us just a while ago."

Now you're getting worried, and can't help but remember what you saw earlier this morning.

"Is she ok?" You ask quietly, so as to not alert anyone else surrounding the two of you.

He slowly starts walking away from you, "She's fine, just, take the day off."

You have to go see her, even if it's weird. You've known her for years and she's never really missed out on patrol, even with her worst cold she insisted on going. And so, reluctantly, you turn around and start making your way to her house.

What started as a walk quickly became a run. As you’re speeding through the streets, you're bumping into everyone and everything trying to get to her.

Maria shouts at you to slow down, but you can't help but keep running. Hopefully she won't nag you too much about it later. You care about Ellie, even if you don't tell her. The desire to take care of your relationship is bigger than anything else right now. You're determined to get closer to her, to know her better; you've always wanted to.

Hopefully, she feels the same.

Before you know it, you're winding down in Joel's backyard, staring at the garage. Ellie's curtains are thankfully drawn, so she couldn't see your embarrassing attempts to catch your breath.

As the adrenaline left your body, the nerves settled in. Getting here was the easy part, the question is what were you even going to say to her. All of a sudden, you're overthinking anything and everything.

Does she even want to see you?

Had you crossed a line yesterday?

You're sure she doesn't hate you, did she take it the wrong way?

Better yet; was it ok to check in on one another?

You can't say you've ever really done it until now. Even worse than that, it would be your first time seeing her outside of work. You're ashamed to say that you've never even been to her house before, even if she's your neighbour.

And that's when it hits you; it doesn't have to be weird if you're just a concerned neighbour or coworker.

It's not awkward if you don't make it awkward.

With your advice to keep yourself calm, you approach the garage’s front door with newfound determination and knock.

ty for reading !! ill be making a tag list for all the next chapters so let me know if you'd like to be added<3

[myroanokenightmare666]

A statement for both sides of the HH and HB community…..

I’m just going to be straightforward with you all. This is just the reason why I honestly just prefer to be between both sides of this community of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Because I can’t stand with how hypocritical both sides are and constantly makes things worse to each other. Like both sides often have a point, you can still like the animated shows while also giving out criticism and I definitely understand that many people who often criticize both of these show often get harassed or even bullied for that matter. Just like the time when Cartoonshi made a review on Season Two of Helluva Boss where he makes a statement that he still likes the show even if there’s some major issues. But here’s a thing, most of you people aren’t even innocent either. Especially when you guys often complain of how the Hazbin Hotel official trailer had spoiled everything despite the fact you guys are the one spoiling things to begin with!!!!!! It’s your fault that you ended up complaining it when you FUCKING spoiled it for everyone else!!!!!! And not only that, but just constant nitpicking every single thing at one time after the another.

And worst of all, you guys often give shit towards people who often liked the show when it not right for making things hard for them.

And……..I really do want the better outta this community for both side, including the animators who are working really hard for the shows despite being under the control of Vivziepop herself, I just really wish they’re civil with their opinions though. Which I might add that your criticism from most of you, they often have a point but the issue you’re over-boarding it and make everything worst instead of better. Even when you’re making yourself not feeling well from the anger you put on your criticism. And specifically whenever people often tell you to calm down or other advices, they’re obviously trying to help you and not making any excuses yet you either ignore it or just complain about it and be an asshole. Just what happened last night when that person asked for any antis of HH and HB to just block him while also calling them “ugly fuckers.” I tried telling him to calm down since it’s not worth the anger you’re putting pressure on yourself as stated before. Yet he just blocks me for simple reasons…….

And I am glad too that I’m not the only one who has this issue.

And if I’m being honest, I don’t care if people who see this post are either going to agreed or disagree with me. I DON’T CARE!!!!! I’m making a point though and something I wish there would eventually be a change in this fandom entirely. I understand it would still go on and repeat itself but it can’t go on forever…….and I hope for anyone who sees this post realizes on their action and how it could reflect their future of consequence.

Including for Spindlehorse and Vivziepop herself.

[tzyuki]

[ 김규빈 ] ONE & ONLY ꒰ K.GV x F!READER

027. last waltz | smau + written (621 wrds)

IN WHICH ✶ — Rumors about Y/n pursuing a Zerobaseone member backstage at music bank start floating around the media after she and ZB1 member, Kim Gyuvin are seen talking behind in one of the episodes of ‘Eunchaes Star Diary’. Some netizens believe it and some don’t, some hated her for touching his shoulder and some didn’t care. Y/n went live to debunk the rumors, saying she wasn’t interested in a relationship at the time. The thing was, the rumors were true. She secretly was pursing Kim Gyuvin, or at least she wanted to. Ever since she first saw him backstage at M Countdown when ‘Love Killa’ team got to perform she was starstruck. She saw him at the vending machine and wished him luck in ‘Boys Planet’. She actually never had watched an episode of the survival show at all, she said it would be too painful for her, but that was the night she started to watch and most importantly, vote for Kim Gyuvin.

It felt like actual hell to Y/n. Her daily schedule on hiatus consisted of, wake up, wash up, skincare, lay in bed, scroll on twitter, then sleep. She had actually started to text Riize’s Seunghan since the two were both in the same boat so why not be friends. She constantly complained to the boy how she was over it already and he simply replied with “Trust me, I know.”

To make it even worse, it was an indefinite hiatus. She didn’t know when she’d be going back or if she’d ever go back. She just prayed everyday that the news would die down but the k-fans just love to hate on her.

Why did she think about debuting when she did this?

This is crazy, I thought she was like an angel. You can’t really trust idols nowadays.

Fucking crazy…it’s the ones you never expect.

She deserves to be kicked out.

Did she expect her career to go far with a past like this?

I hope her behavior doesn’t rub onto Kim Gyuvin, he’s just a rookie.

All that ran through her mind these days was if she was even ready to speak about her most vulnerable years for the whole industry to hear.

Her boyfriend at the time, Hajun, was the first boy she loved; she fell in love with him so quickly due to how sweet he was to her. He had flaws obviously, the flaws being the fact that he liked to party hard and drink even harder. Which was crazy for a 16 year old, but what can you expect from a teenage boy?

Y/n liked Hajun because of his maturity, he didn’t act like anyone else in their grade which was a blessing at the time, but just like any other teenager he liked to have fun. Way too much fun for his age.

Hajun started to act differently…he still treated the girl like an angel but rarely hung out during the day. Y/n didn’t want him to leave so she started to do everything he liked, which was partying, drinking games, wasting money, sneaking out, etc. Those were major red flags the girl couldn’t see because at the end of the day he treated her with respect.

She wouldn't say she was addicted, but after he did eventually leave her (saying he needed to stay sober to get accepted to medical school) it was hard for her to have fun without alcohol. Just a couple shots were enough for her, but she absolutely hated the fact that he was getting better and she wasn’t.

Everyday in her mind she thanks her best friend at the time for telling her parents about her issue. If she hadn’t things could’ve been way worse and she wouldn’t have lived her dream.

She most importantly thanks the universe for regaining her parents' trust and the fact that her seniors at the company don’t think lowly of her. She would actually die if any of her favorite sunbaenims thought of her that way.

She just wishes this didn’t have to come back to her at this time of the year, during the new year where her and her unnies would all wish the best for their group and each other as a whole.

It pained her to watch the show online instead of being there, she knew her members were there in her spirit (they all wore the WAZE matching necklaces) but it still hurt. It was a tradition and it was broken because of her stupid ex boyfriend.

It hurt even more seeing the girls prepare for a comeback without her, but she loved to hear about the girls thoughts on the song and concept.

m.list — previous — next

taglist 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ @yerimse @100203s @str0l0gy @sieuneo @enhaz1 @weoris @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @jiawji @trsrina @esc6pism @aerivrs @jiaant11 @latriii @annoyingbitch83 @pwarkj @sleepingisweak @beomibeom @seosracha @sparklingsjy @ahnneyong @mioujon @whippedforbeomgyu @wonqr @lunavixia @y7n2394-ze @wtfhyuck @lcv3lies @mangowonyo @nyujjan @chaeryvips @tocupid @chanlixed @svtglitch @wonluvrbot t @wondering-out-loud @igotkpoops @jeongintwt @samvagejkflxhrt t @daydreamer5006 @loverickyyy @andsjun @soobiverse @ivrousae @akari-saka13 @loverb0yz @alwayswook @bobariki @bbangricz @j4dorebooks @dimplewonie @redm4ri @moonlightjungwon @enhapocketz @gunwookiez @catsyoon @hyeoniez @hoey2k

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

Okay I've been meaning to respond to a post but Tumblr won't let me reblog it for whatever reason, but I feel like my response has enough context on its own that I can make it it's own post.

So this is in response to multiple posts I've seen people make about Wilson telling House that he wishes he had been an asshole like him, House responds that he would still have cancer, and Wilson says, "Yeah but at least I'd feel like I deserved it!"

There are so many people saying that Wilson had absolutely no reason for saying that, that they can't understand why he would say it, that it didn't need to be in there, and how dare he say that to House after House helped him so much after his cancer diagnosis.

There was a reason behind it, just because it's not a happy reason, doesn't mean it's not an understandable one. I think the way Wilson sees it at first is that House has spent his entire life pushing people away and hurting them so that he doesn't get hurt in return. House has abused and ruined every relationship he's had. House constantly hurts people, and yet, he gets to live. Wilson, on the other hand, has practically dedicated his life to helping and taking care of others. He's maintained this nice guy mask his entire life, and yet Wilson, who has lived what others would call a good life, who has been what others would consider a good man, is the one that gets cancer and is going to die.

Wilson feels like he wasted his life being a "good man" instead of just doing and saying whatever the fuck he wanted like House. Wilson is jealous of House. Wilson is laying there on the couch in insufferable pain with death looming over him, and here's Gregory House, asshole extraordinaire, who's alive and well (as well as he usually is). That has to really fucking hurt.

This idea that "omg how could Wilson do that?? He said that for no reason!!" Is just not true. Wilson said it because he's was in excruciating pain and terrified and just found out he was going to die in a couple of months. Wilson was scared, and he was lashing out, which is a very human reaction. House does it all the time, Wilson is not special in the way he reacts to pain. The entire series is full of House berating people and hurting them and saying awful things, and pushing them away. He does that to Wilson multiple times. And Wilson forgave him every single time. And so when Wilson is in pain and lashing out, House knows not to take his personally, and that's why he basically immediately forgave him.

House and Wilson know each other well enough that they can see behind the harsh words, and understand each others intent. Ideally, Wilson would not have said that, and he should have apologized, but that was not a crazy horrific reaction. It's true, House has done a lot for Wilson during their relationship, especially after his cancer diagnosis, but Wilson has also sacrificed for House. After the infarction, House lashed out and pushed away and abused everybody until they all cracked under it and left. Everybody except Wilson. Wilson put up with the constant humiliation, degradation, pain, and abuse from House.

Wilson put House before everything in his life, including his marriage. Later, Wilson refuses to vote to get rid of House, and therefore loses his spot on the board, and the job that he loved and put so much of his life into. All to protect House. Wilson lies multiple times to the police to protect House, risking his freedom if they found out. Wilson and House constantly sacrifice for each other, it's just what they do. Neither one of them is "better" or "worse", they just are.

If they switched roles, and House was the one with cancer, House would definitely lash out as Wilson, no doubt about it. And Wilson would forgive him. Wilson has such a realistic reaction. It doesn't matter how many times you see people diagnosed with cancer and think that it's not personal, that cancer doesn't have an agenda, nothing can prepare you for when it happens to you or somebody you love, and a lot of the time, it feels incredibly personal.

How we react to dying and sickness is not always rational, and anger is a stage of grief. This is Wilson trying to grapple with his death, and that doesn't always look pretty. Sure, it was a fucked up thing to say and House didn't deserve it, but Wilson wasn't just insulting him for the fun of it. He had a very realistic, understandable reason behind it.

Not going to lie, I see people all the time talking about this scene in particular, with such a surface level approach to it. They act mad or confused, and talk about how they have no idea how someone could possibly hurt their favourite characters. So yeah, Wilson saying it was a shitty thing to do, but there is no way it was the worst thing anybody said, and he had very obvious, complex reasons for it.

I honestly love this scene, and I think it gives so much insight into Wilson's character. Wilson finally lashes out and exposes his grief in such a raw, mean way is lowkey a pivotal moment for him because he's finally letting himself be the "bad guy." And yeah, they weren't forced to put this in the show. It's literally fiction. They don't have to put anything in. But it fits so well. So yeah, just because he has complex reasoning for why he said what he said, that doesn't mean the reasoning doesn't exist.

[the-minecraft-bat]

unhinged word vomit incoming read at your own risk

my "true" scarian interpretation at the moment is that they were never truly healthy but they weren't always toxic. grian is the issue haver and with or without meaning to he hurts scar a lot. they get together in 3rd life after dancing around each other for ages and there's problems in the relationship but they're generally going in a good direction. it's just that they're stuck in third life lol. the cactus ring fight traumatises them both, so after third life they break up without really talking about it and that's where everything gets worse. in last life they were not okay. double life grian is an abusive soulmate. cheating and putting down scar's skills and interests. i think that by secret life, they're doing better, but they still haven't had a real conversation. there's these lingering feelings of love and resentment. they were almost going to team up but i don't think they would've been ready. grian wanted to but he still acted like scar was somehow his last option, even though they work well together. grian constantly acts like scar is a liability and tries to protect him, even though scar is just as good a player as him. there's truth to it in 3rd life. i will give it to him that grian is the one who builds their base and the creeper farm and makes all their plans. scar even says it in his iconic line "for everything you did to keep me alive this long.." but the truth is more complicated. grian doesn't see the value in scar's social power. all he sees is scar dying and being on his red life and he instead of taking it seriously he's running around with a bee? why won't he listen to grian, grian knows how to keep them safe! ironically grian causes a lot of scar's deaths throughout the series, but it think the guilt about this only worsens this feeling of responsibility. this way of thinking is a pattern for grian. he refuses to change his perception of scar from here. which is why in double life he barely communicates with him and does not take anything scar does seriously. double life scarian is the direct result and worse version of third life scarian. this next thing is more fanon but i think they view what happened in third life differently. i imagine scar idealises it as this loving relationship against all odds whereas grian remembers it as a horror story where the man he loved kept dying. the truth is somewhere in the middle. they have these opposing views in different areas as well. scar loves being in love with grian. grian finds romance stressful and wishes he could get rid of these feelings (mentally he's drawing hearts around scar in pink glitter gellpen). i think it's canon that grian takes the life series and especially winning more seriously than scar. it's so interesting that scar won secret life though. grian's view of scar as this fool who needs his help to survive is proven untrue. if there's a next life series he can't constantly put scar down for being bad at surviving without clearly being wrong about it (though i imagine he could still find a way to talk himself into believing he's right). idk they're soooo interesting i hope they keep killing each other forever. i hope they talk it out and get married and divorced and married. above all i want scar to kill grian for once i think it would be cathartic

[utilitycaster]

ok we are 10 minutes into kollok and i am straight up not having a good time but I am going to commit to this hour of watching. to keep myself from losing it i'm going to do some very irritating stream of consciousness on this post and post it at the end, nonrebloggably so as to not yuck any yums (though feel free to go wild in the replies). also I need to point out: I don't have misophonia. I have openly and repeatedly said I think the Sam Riegel ASMR ad is not just inoffensive, but actively very funny and enjoyable. The sounds on this show are setting my teeth on edge. I hate it. also for the intro the immersion is genuinely WORSE than say, CR or D20 because everyone's just reading prologues that they've written.

speaking of we're done with the prologues to the prologue and into the prologue, as demonstrated by the title screen and horrible noises.

I call this filter the "yeah I've got mild astigmatism and have taken mushrooms before, you're not special"

hmmm we're stuck in this fuckery for a while and i'm suffering so anyway folks i've made it so polygon will think CR is good:

the music is pretty good I will give them that. also this is literally not special though. like Zac just was like uhhhhhh math as any GM would say, he just was weirdly aiming for suaveness instead of like. normal.

All the profanity on this show sounds like a mormon or a ten year old who just learned the word "fuck" and is trying it out. as a woman who swears constantly i'm like what is HAPPENING. also this blonde woman who isn't on the show in the present day is rolling so hilariously badly. is this why she's not on. girl get out.

back to the present day; this actually is a really good industrial music video ruined by some actual play in the background

"zac, I'm going to command attention please"

"who's zac"

"sorry, driver" ah yes yes this is SOOOOOOO much more immersive i'm totally not making the jerk-off motion

i love u danielle radford you deserve better. although the actual RP now that we're in it is like, fine.

really i think a really significant problem is that this is the most 2014 YA-dystopia plot that ever plotted except as a core part of the premise, everyone is 30. I feel, honestly, that this is the other big issue in actual play that people at polygon obsess over that leaves me ice cold, (also? lots of fandom cold takes), but like...I was a HUGE sf nerd pretty much from childhood, and I think a lot of people came to actual play for a number of reasons not tied to the genres in which it typically exists (fantasy, science fiction, horror). This is fine but it means you get people who act like VERY standard genre conventions are either the most brilliant and original creation on earth, or utterly baffling. Anyway my point is that this is giving Divergent by Veronica Roth but it THINKS it's somewhere between Twin Peaks by David Lynch and the adaptation of the Handmaid's Tale and it's like no babe. you're Divergent by Veronica Roth. stop fronting like you're Twin Peaks. You're Divergent. By Veronica Roth. Which I read while stranded at LaGuardia over a decade ago.

lighting effects are fine honestly. reminds me of the Doja Cat 2020 MTV EMA version of Say So. Wish I were just rewatching that. rotating rock i love you. you are the best thing here other than danielle radford. I feel like I'm in a really fancy Spencer's Gifts. by the way I know i'm being pretty bitchy and incoherent here BUT I'm sober; let's hear it for Stupidly Bougie Soda and Nonalcoholic Spirits.

I'm also eating bean dip with a spoon. in my defense I made REALLY good bean dip and I don't have chips.

I just. other than the digital filter in the flashback I genuinely don't see how this is different than D20 except lacking in any charms and OH GOD THAT'S TIME.

but I want to add that like...the thing is Danielle (C-dubbs) was doing some wacky funny stuff and it felt like it was being shut down and to be fair I get wanting to stick WITHIN the genre but this whole thing feels joyless, and not like "oh, survival horror is so grimdark and sad", I am a tragedy enjoyer, but like. it feels...mandated.

Also this is weird and picky but for all of Those High Production Values (repeated direct quote from the Polygon article) they do a weirdly bad job of filming the die rolls? Like, they cut to the dice trays at the wrong time?

Finally, and this is just a pot shot at Polygon but they should stop making it so easy, but the article was like "I watched the 4-ish hour first episode and I didn't have a clue what was going on but it had Those High Production Values" and it's like...I was demonstrably fucking around on tumblr and in GIMP while watching and I have a pretty solid idea of what was going on. Maybe it goes nuts in the remaining 2.5 hours that I may chip away at to be able say I watched a full episode and decided it "wasn't for me" *smiles like I'm a waitress on Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey just asked me a question* but I think you might be dumb.

CONCLUSION: just watch the Doja Cat 2020 MTV EMA version of Say So, read Divergent (by Veronica Roth) (you don't have to be at LaGuardia) and like, check out Mentopolis or Misfits and Magic if you want to see Danielle Radford in a Kids on Bikes game that is good.

[thrawns-babygirl]

Insufferable (Crosshair x Fem!Reader 18+)

Summary: After you and Cross have an argument, he takes care of himself in the shower and he can't stand it.

Word Count: 1064

Warnings: Masturbation (M), Gags, Jealous!Crosshair, pissed off!Crosshair

A/N: Still getting the hang of writing and am scared to do anything with a lot of long form dialogue because its HARD so have some self indulgent Crosshair Smut while I work my way up to longer fics. Please tell me if this is garbage lmao i want to improve

Also pls send in some Crosshair requests! I'm really keen to write for the community otherwise this blog is going to devolve into really derange self indulgent kinks lmao

Sitting down in The Batch’s barracks after yet another successful mission, the topic of conversation shifted to the competition that Wrecker and Crosshair had every time they engaged with separatist forces. Crosshair was sulking, which was not unusual when you two were in the same room together, you were constantly bickering with one another, sending teasing and oftentimes scathing remarks back and forth trying to get a rise out of one another. Tonight, however it was compounded by the fact that he lost their little contest by a rather large margin.

“Well maybe you would have won if you were actually in the fight with your brothers instead of hiding up on that ridge. But Wrecker won this round fair and square.” You smirk over at the grumpy sniper as you finish up your routine post mission check up of the squad’s vitals. You were rarely needed to provide any actual medical assistance, but you were there to ensure that the Kaminoan’s premier squad was kept in good health in between long stints off-world.

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about being in the field, there is a lot more to it than you think, maybe try going out onto the front lines before you tell me I’m not doing enough, before you tell me I’m hiding” Crosshair bites out at you, removing the toothpick from between his lips and flicking it off to the side, earning him a chiding look from Hunter as it lands on the floor.

“Well I wouldn’t exactly call being a sniper up on a hill away from all the action ‘the front lines’ but whatever makes you feel better about losing Cross” You give him a sickeningly sweet smile as you input the Batch’s vitals into your datapad preparing to retreat to your own quarters for the night. You didn't mean it, the other boys knew you didn't mean it, but he always took the bait and getting a rise out of him was just so fun.

Glaring at you, Crosshair stood up and retreated into the refresher of the Batch’s barracks, grumbling various curses under his breath as he went. When the door closed behind him you turn to Hunter; “Too much?” you ask standing and walking towards the door to their barracks.

“Nah, he’s always dishing out way worse, needs to learn how to take it too” Hunter chuckles as he walks you to the door, he and the rest of the batch wishing you a good night as you turn and head towards the medbay to update their files before turning in for the night.

Closing the ‘fresher door he takes a deep breath his body betraying him as his concealed cock throbs against the hard plastoid of his codpiece.  He begins ridding himself of his armour, letting each piece clatter unceremoniously to the floor with a dull thud. Looking down to his traitorous biology he turned on the water, determined to have a cold shower and get you out of his head. Even if you would never know, he wasn’t going to let you have any power over him as he stands under the icy spray.

You were so utterly annoying, always sending cutting remarks his way, always trying to get under his skin, always trying to one up him. For a lousy doctor who had never seen the front lines you had an awful lot to say about how he and his brothers did their job.

So why couldn’t he get you out of his head? Why did your stupid fucking smirk make him want to tear your clothes off and shove his aching length into your cunt? Why did every back and forth send blood rushing south, ruining his resolve? He hated you… right?

Sighing and closing his eyes he tries to think about anything else to will his erection away, but you would not leave his mind’s eye. You were insufferable, a know it all, absolutely unbearable but also… exactly Crosshair’s type, quick witted, didn’t shy away from his abrasive personality and to top it all off you were gorgeous. Your uniform, while unflattering on most people, hugged your body in all the right ways, accentuating your curves and making you, at least in Crosshair’s eyes, utterly irresistible.

With a resigned sigh, his hand wanders down to his still rock hard, weeping cock. Now angrier with himself than you he begins running his hand along his shaft, thumbing his slit he releases a low groan as he began picturing you in more and more vulgar positions. He imagined you here in the refresher with him, on your knees, mouth open and QUIET for once as he shoved his length in and out of your mouth working up the tempo until he was fucking your face, head of his cock reaching the back of your throat as you gagged around him, tears streaming from your eyes as you struggled to take his girth.

Letting out a choked moan as he continued to fuck his closed fist, he let his mind wander further, to bending you over his bunk in the barracks while his brothers were out doing maker knows what, panties shoved in your mouth to muffle your moans as his hips piston in and out of your soaked pussy. Fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise, making his bunk groan out in protest at the wild pace he set, he pictured your muffled whimpers and groans as you took everything that he would give you like a good little slut. Your muscles clenching around him as he grew ever closer to his own release.

He would let you speak only to beg him to let you cum, to beg for him to cum in your cunt, beg for him to claim you. Tell him that only he could give you what you wanted as he pounded into you. He would ruin you for other men. He knows for a fact you’ve fucked regs in the past and the thought made his blood boil. He could fuck you better than any reg ever could. He would leave his mark on your body and soul.

Vigorously stroking his aching length, he brought his hand up to his mouth as he neared his end, biting down as he sprayed the ‘fresher wall with his seed, wanting more than anything to paint your stupid annoying face with his spend as you looked up at him and thank him for his gracious gift.

You were insufferable…. But maybe he didn’t actually hate you.

[mwolf0epsilon]

What Love Looks Like

This is a long one...

Caprichoso, walking around the mess hall with a food tray full of green nutrimush while looking for a place to sit: Uh, I guess Dogma must still be on shift...

Clearcut, sitting with a group of 501st vode before noticing Caprichoso: Over here Capri.

Caprichoso, glancing over and beaming: CC! Hey! -sitting down next to the older trooper- Thanks, this place is packed!

Hardcase, chuckling: That's usually how it is during midmeal! Lots of very hungry troopers lining up to get the best slop!

Clearcut, noticing the enormous pile of food on the other's tray and looking slightly nauseated: Capri, please tell me you're not planning to eat all of that in one sitting...

Caprichoso, grinning: Sure am! But I promise I won't get too excited and choke this time. I'm just not used to being allowed to eat so much of my favorite grub without having to slap someone's hand away.

Clearcut: I am still not quite sure how the green veggie paste is your favorite. It's too sweet for my own taste.

Hardcase: How, for real? The sweetness is what makes it good!

Caprichoso, looking at Hardcase: You. You get me! All of the other options taste so bland! But this one tastes so good...

Hardcase: Hear hear! Green mush is the best mush!

Jesse, laughing: Man... I wish you'd been assigned to the 501st. You would have fit right in immediately!

Caprichoso, surprised: Wow, you really think so?

Fives: We know so. You're what? Around Tup's age group? Pretty sure if you'd been deployed at the same time you would have made the cut.

Jesse: Yeah, maybe then we would have all just fit where we belonged instead of dealing with... Some troopers.

Tup, frowning but staying quiet:

Hardcase, pausing as he glances up at Jesse with a somewhat puzzled look:

Clearcut, also pausing but looking noticeably uncomfortable:

Caprichoso: ... What do you mean?

Jesse: Hm? Oh, you know. Just some conflict you don't really need to worry about.

Caprichoso, noticing Tup's unusually quiet demeanor and the pinched look on Clearcut's face: ...

Caprichoso, crossing his arms: No, carry on. What was that supposed to mean?

Jesse: ... Ok, I'll be real with you. You? You get us. You fit in just right. Better than you do with the 105th.

Caprichoso, frowning due to this being a particularly sore topic for him: Yeah...?

Jesse: Well, there's a trooper who's the exact opposite. And he proved that on Umbara.

Caprichoso, adding 2 and 2 together: I... You're talking about Dogma aren't you?

Tup, focusing on his tray clearly unwilling to participate in this conversation:

Fives: Yeah, it's about Dogma. He doesn't really fit with the rest of us.

Jesse: He doesn't act like a vod, is what Fives means. Which is a huge problem.

Tup, looking up at Jesse with an angry look on his face:

Jesse, raising his hands in defense: I mean, I'm sure he's plenty brotherly with you Tup. But that's you. With everyone else he's a stuck up shabuir that wouldn't hesitate to rat anyone else out for his own benefit, just like he did on Umbara.

Caprichoso, slowly beginning to look angry: Umbara was a stressful situation. You saw what Krell was like, do you really think you were anything but lucky back there?

Fives, offended: Lucky?!

Jesse: We were anything BUT lucky! Krell nearly killed the entire battalion! Made us kill each other for his own sick amusement! Sent Fives, Hardcase and I to be executed via firing squad which Dogma manned! And then when evidence cropped up that he was a bastard, Dogma STILL sided with him! Hells he pointed a blaster at the captain! At Tup! He's no vod!

Caprichoso, furious: You were lucky, because that was ONE campaign with Krell. The 105th on the other hand experienced all that and worse CONSTANTLY! And let me tell you, when your entire deployment is based on survival of the fittest, you have to do some pretty crappy horrid things to live another day...

Jesse, trying to find an argument for this: Vode stick to each other! No matter what!

Caprichoso: Really? So you never met a vod on Kamino that never picked on someone else because they were favored by trainers? You never got angry at your own batchers because you felt like they could do better and were slacking in sims? Never met some other older vode who thought they knew better than you just because they were more experienced?

Jesse: ...

Fives, recalling how it used to be for Domino Squad back on Kamino: ...

Hardcase, trying to figure out how to get everyone to calm down before this gets any worse: Err... Maybe we should...

Caprichoso: I read the reports. I read what happened on Umbara. I read them because I knew from the moment Krell left to lead the 501st, that something bad was gonna happen. And I can tell you from both an inside and outside perspective that all of the things Dogma did he didn't do for himself.

Clearcut, sighing because he knows Capri isn't going to let go:

Caprichoso: He was scared, sure. We all were scared once we realized Krell was a demagolka shabuir who didn't really care for us unless we were useful or entertaining in some way. I watched good vode be reshaped into... Into something unrecognizable under his command. My brothers who I love so much and who I wish loved me just as much as Dogma loves you miserable bastards!

Tup, opens his mouth:

Caprichoso: Keep your mouth shut, you lost the right to say anything the moment you let that piece of osik lieutenant drag your twin's name through the mud! For all that I've heard you moan and bitch about my twin being a jerk, you're no bouquet of roses!

Tup, flinching: Ah...

Fives: Hey don't talk to Tup like that!

Caprichoso: Or what? You'll go off on some suicide mission and jeopardize the lives of your vode like you did on Umbara? Get off your high fathier ARC trooper, you've got no idea how to work in a team and it shows. The stunt you pulled on Umbara only got you a firing squad execution, one which according to records should have fallen to your coward of a captain to lead... Not Dogma.

Jesse: The captain would never--

Clearcut: ... He would.

Jesse, turning to look at Clearcut in surprise: Uh?

Clearcut: ... Sargeant Slick.

Hardcase, wincing: ...

Caprichoso: Also on that note. The firing squad. Curious how Dogma chose the best sharpshooters and a medic to make damn sure you lot didn't feel a thing once you got taken out. Very cruel of him uh? Following orders from someone who wasn't opposed to punish an entire battalion for someone else's disobedience, and yet still making damn sure it was as mercifully a clean shot as possible...

Jesse, at a loss for words: I... You don't...

Caprichoso: I don't get it? Sure I do. Surviving under Krell taught me something valuable. That if you plan to act against an oppressor, you make it your mission to put the only target on your back. Not on your vode's. And yeah sure, I'm louder, I'm angrier, I'm ten times more insufferable than Dogma. But I can recognize something you definitely don't seem to be able to unless it's your brand.

Fives: And what's that?

Caprichoso: What love looks like. And it certainly isn't wishing that your little brother was in a battalion where he would have been abused into submission or into outright hate and hostility towards his own crew.

Caprichoso, getting up: Urgh, I'm not hungry anymore... Your opinions are so disgusting I'd rather starve than eat with you. I don't get what Dogma sees in you poodoo-brained karkers at all, he really would be better off on his own. -storming off furiously-

Jesse, Fives, Tup & Hardcase, watching Capri leave the mess hall: ...

Clearcut, sighing sadly due to this conversation having derailed so quickly: ... I've never met a kih'vod more stubbornly loyal than Capri. He won't be letting go of this newfound grudge anytime soon.