#i just wont eat again tonight i guess

[thedisablednaturalist]

I can't do this anymore

I try to explain my illness to my mom but she scoffs and makes fun of me

She says "then how come you can work all day and hang out with your boyfriend all the time??"

1. She fucking forces me to work. When I wasn't working I was guilted for every little thing I did that wasn't related to looking for a job. I need the money so I can get out of here. If I had the choice I'd work less and rest more but I have to get out of here.

2. My boyfriend and I rarely go out, and when we do I have my chair and he respects my needs and energy levels. He helps me with everything and doesn't guilt me about it. Thus it's not taxing to be with him.

I only see my friends once in a blue moon nowadays and we have made a point to do DND every week but I can barely keep up with that. I usually fall asleep before the end of the session tbh. But my friends are important to me so I try to set aside time once a week to spend time with them

I spend the rest of the time fucking asleep. I rarely do any of my hobbies like draw or play video games. Only on good energy days where I have the time.

But to my mom none of that matters. She doesn't see how hard I'm working. All she sees is "excuses excuses".

All I was trying to do was explain to her and my dad that yelling at me causes me to get stressed out which depletes my energy levels and causes my pain to flare. And she scoffs at me.

Her own fucking mother had fibromyalgia for fucks sake. You'd think she'd be more empathetic to what I'm going through

But no, everything is always my fault

[xochosoxo]

the best patient ✮ | e.jaeger

MDNI-> warnings: afab reader, nurse!y/n, erenbrokehiswrist, cheater!eren, stoner!eren, dealer!eren, (pretend hes also a metalhead bc i love metalheads. and toxic eren oh my god its unhealthy), mentions of weed, blowjobs, hairpulling, missionary, cowboy, multiple creampies, dirty talk, eyerolling, tit sucking, hickies, pussy eating, cum swapping/sharing/consuming, squirting (cuz it wouldnt be a dysaren fic without squirting!), erens gf visits.

a/n: sorry im so inactive im actually so busy like all the time :( (save me.) anyway, enjoy this quick fic i wrote instead of doing my assignments!! i am a sucker for toxic,cheater,stoner,dealer,metalhead,has piercings eren. based on a scenario that i created with a character.ai bot ( i am ashamed.. it was a xiao bot.)

"hello. im nurse y/n and ill be taking care of you for the duration of your stay here." you say, walking into the ER patient room as you scan my clipboard for the details of the person staying here.

Name: Eren Yeager

DOB: March 30 XXXX

Height: 6'0 ft

"weight, ethnicity blah blah... reason of hospitlization: distal radius fracture..." you read to yourself, glancing up from the clipboard to meet eyes with the man in the hospital bed. his long brown hair was up in a messy bun, he had tattos running from his neck all the way down to his arms, and from what you can tell, he was built, rather... nicely. (he was buff asf.)

the man looked miserable. he had swollen undereyes, and his skin looked dry, but still, for some reason you found him incredibly attractive.

"hello nurse." he mutters, clearly tired.

"hello." you repeat again. "im just here just to check up on you." you explain to him, sauntering closer to his bed.

you flip the page on your clipboard to a new, blank sheet. "i will just be running some tests, checking your vital signs and see how you are healing."

eren nods compliantly.

you take that as a sign of consent and start writing some things down on paper. "he seems to be doing fine...even his arms are nice fuck." you get distracted, looking at his arms, the way the veins pop out. mentally youre drooling. his fingers are long and thick, and there are indentations of multiple rings on them which only gets you more excited.

you flip your page back to the information sheet from before, checking the notes: "frequent smoker and sexually active."

"so it says here you are a frequent smoker?" you ask him, just wanting some sort of confirmation from him.

eren nods again. "yes" he whispers. "some nicotine but mostly weed."

"oh i see." you say, writing that information down.

"i can get you some. once im out of here at least." he looks up at you.

"im sorry?" you mustive heard wrong...right?

"ive seen you around before." eren explains. "at parties...you know mostly smoking. like that last one...you were with jean and connie."

oh. you didnt hear wrong.

three days ago, on your day off, you had went to a party with your friends jean and connie. they said it would be a good idea since it would be a chance for you to finally relax from your stressful job, so you relunctantly went. that was your first time smoking weed. it was wonderful and you guess eren saw the whole thing.

"you must have it wrong... i dont typically smoke." you explain to the brown haired man.

"i know, jean and connie told me it was your first. looked like you had a good time though." he smiles tiredly up at you.

you were taken a back a bit. you didnt know that the two of them knew eren. do they know that he's in the hospital right now? are they the reason he broke his wrist? where were they?

"i see..." you ponder a bit. "are they here with you tonight? somewhere in the hospital i mean."

"yeah. theyre here with my girlfriend too since she's the only sober one who can drive at the moment... they just went back to my place to grab some things for me before you came in. they wont be back for a while." eren clarifies.

"goddamnit he has a girlfriend." you sob internally.

"thats good to know." you fake smile, looking back at your clipboard. "it says here youre also sexually active... are you taking any sort of pills perchance?" you continue with your questions, trying to get back to professionalism.

"nope its all just me." he giggles with a coy grin on his face. youd hate to admit that his laugh turned you on a bit.

you finish up your report of eren, rechecking his vitals once more to confirm things. "okay it seems as though youre on the right track... it can take up to 6-12 weeks for your wrist to comepletely heal. otherwise, you might want to lay off the weed consumption till then." you finish up.

before you can leave, he call out. "wait.."

you turn around. "what is it? are you alright?"

"i have a problem with something and i just cant seem to be able to do it myself." eren tries saying shyly, but the look in is eyes seemed to be more sinsiter than you thought. "after all... i did just break my wrist..."

he looks down at his jeans, putting the spotlight on the constrained buldge in his jeans.

youre flushed. "oh..." what were you supposed to do in this situation?? didnt he have a girlfriend?

right he had a girlfriend.

"im sure your girlfriend can help you out with that."

eren's eyebrows crease. he did have a girlfriend and she was amazing. she did basically everything for him. so why now was he so damn attracted to his nurse to want to take a risk and cheat on everything he had???

he presses his lips together before speaking, "i lied. i just didnt want to seem like a pussy to ya." sentences were forming right as he was speaking them. hopefully it was enough to fool you. "please. its so uncomfortable..."

his throbbing cock was being compressed by not only his boxers but also by his black rocker jeans. it was true. it was extremely uncomfortable so why not relieve it with the cute nurse who also happened to be the cute girl who had been sitting with his friends not too long ago, taking a drag from a joint he sold to jean and connie.

you were relunctant, but then again, you could feel your panties getting damper. you walk up to him slowly, keeping your eyes locked with his. you sit down on the bed beside him.

he feels your soft hands on his buldge and from that he lets out a restrained sigh. "fuck." he huffs.

god, there was no way this wasnt turning you on too. eren knew that. he saw the way you bit your lip as you started to unbutton his jeans.

"how long will they be gone?" you ask, hinting at the group of friends eren had mentioned previously. "for a while.. my place is pretty from from the hospital." he watches you slowly pull down his zipper. "fuck baby youre making me go crazy."

you smile, finally releasing his cock from his boxers. he was hung. youre eyes widened and he lauged.

"too much for you baby?" he questions.

"no..." you whisper, slowly kitten licking the tip, tasting his precum before fully sheathing his cock in your mouth.

eren moaned. loudly.

"holy shit!" he huffs. "oh my god..." he leans his head back, grabbing your neat ponytail to guide you while sucking him off.

"ugghhfff!" you choke on his length, tears coming to your eyes. but you like it. it felt too good. at this point, your panties were soaking wet at this point.

"fuck baby you gotta stop or else im gonna cum." eren gasps, pulling you off from his dick. "cmon take it all off... show me."

you look behind you to make sure that the door to the room was closed. you look back at him with a playful look, pulling off your uniform and undershirt to reveal your cleavage.

eren smirked, watching as your skin reacted from the cold air, goosebumps forming. he reaches behind you and releases the hooks of your bra.

he sighed at the sight of your tits. they were beautiful. you were beautiful. he kneads at your chest as you remove the rest of your garments, underwear included.

you were fully exposed to him. internally, eren was freaking out. externally, he was entranced by your body, drooling a bit.

"eren?" you ask, waving your hand infront of him. he snaps out of his trance. "are you ok?" you look at him with a worried look.

"im ok baby. sorry. lets keep going." he says, rubbing his tip on your clit. he can feel your wetness and he smirks once again,

"you are dripping baby..." he whispers in your ear. "i dont even need to prep you..." eren slowly shoves his cock into you.

you were in heaven. both of you were. to him, you felt so fucking tight. he doesnt even know if youre a virgin or not. how couldnt you be? "youre so tight..." he groans, restraining himself from prematurely giving you a creampie.

you have never felt so full in your life. in your life, you've only fucked one guy and the rest had been occupied by your plethora of sex toys. but eren... eren was different. you were filled to the brim. eren could see the buldge of his dick lightly poking through your pudgy tummy. that made him go feral.

he started thrusting into you faster, sucking on your sensitive nipples, licking around the skin as well. he left mulitple hickies in the places where only he could see them. you still were on your shift of course, he wanted to be courteous.

"mmm..." he heard you sigh, smiling as he kissed your body.

eren lifts you up so now youre straddling him. he keeps his pace constant but you wanted to take control. so you start bouncing on his cock. he watches as your tits move with you, again trying not to prematurely cum.

"mmmhf!!!!" you try to conceal your moans, but it was so hard. "fuck daddy please!! i need more!!" you were being greedy, but it felt too good.

"youre bossy baby." eren laughs. he thrusts up, faster than before. "fuck im gonna fucking cum." you watched him gasp, bringing your face closer to his, kissing him with so much passion. he kissed back.

sure he had a girlfriend, but maybe now he's finally gonna break it with her. just for you.

"ah ah..." you gasp, feeling his thrusts slow down. you whine.

"shush baby, let me cum inside before i fuck it back into you." he moans into your neck, creampie-ing your cunt. you try not to scream as you feel the heat in your stomach release as you cum as well.

your eyes roll back into your head and oh how he loves the sight. yeah hes all yours now.

eren picks up his pace once again, like he said, fucking his cum deeper into you.

you scream before he slaps a hand over your mouth. "shut it baby... dont want everyone hearing how much of a slut you are."

"mmfgf!" you groan in protest.

eren doesnt stop his pace until he's shooting his thick load into you once again.

he's catching his breath as he pulls out, plugging your pussy with his fingers so the essence wouldnt leak from your cute slit.

youre all fucked out by the way. he watches as your face contorts into pure pleasure, feeling the band in your stomach snap as you twitch on his fingers.

eren shoves his mouth onto your pussy, licking up the mess in between your legs, tasting both him and you. he licks up your slit to your clit, flicking it with his tongue. youre overstimulated and tired. your couldnt take it anymore. you gush once more on his face, the liquid dripping down his chin and onto the sheets of the hospital bed.

"aahh..." you breathe heavily, recovering from your third orgasm.

"that feel good baby?" he says, bring his head up to meet your eyes. he could see hearts in them.

"mm... i think we're going to have to change the sheets." you giggle.

"well it was worth it." he watches as you sit up, making sure youre not in any discomfort. he rubs your back and fixes your hair. "you look beautiful like this."

"do i?" you say, questioning his taste.

he nods before leaning in for a comforting kiss. "let me take you out." he whispers.

you nod-

KNOCK KNOCK!

you glance behind you to look at the door.

"eren! its mikasa!" you both hear from the other side of the door.

you look back at him in confusion. "mikasa?"

he rolls his eyes.

"my girlfriend."

[kitashinsukehoney]

"You never been to Heaven, have you?" - mdni

Characters: Muzan Kibutshuji

TW: MDNI!! Sexual themes applied such as breeding kink, dacryphilia, rough sex, fingering, squirting, nipple playing, creampie, degradation , praise kink, orgasm control, edging, anal sex.

MUZAN KIBUTSHUJI

Nakime brought me to him. I was supposed to watch the village and take care of the villagers' peace tonight. How did I ended up here? I have lost my sword and I'm alone infront of this man. I don't even recognize him, oblivious to the fact that he is the King Of Demon. I remained kneeling, unable to stand up and run. Not a single sound coming out from me except my heartbeats.

"Awh, look at you. So scared", he voiced out. I can feel that he is smirking at me. He is wearing a white suit, and his eyes are red and looked like cat's eyes. "Are you...a demon, sir?", i asked him politely. "I guess I am?", he said while smirking. He stepped closer and grabbed my chin.

"You smell sweet as ohagi. Care to share some of your blood to me?", he asked me. I smacked his hand off me, not wanting his filthy hand touching me. "Which upper moon are you?" I asked him. He laughed as if i just cracked a joke to him. "Upper moon? Muzan sama is the demon king", Nakime spoke.

I froze and speechless, unable to utter single word. "Did I scare you, human?", Muzan asked. "As long as you tell me where Nezuko Kamado is, I will let you go. Or maybe you know where is the blue spider lily", Muzan said again.

"No! I wont tell you where is Nezuko nor the existence of the blue spider lily", I said. Muzan's expression changed to bitter one. "How dare you disobey me? I'm asking you nicely", he said. "I will not betray the demon corpse slayer no matter what. You can kill me but i won't back down!", i yelled. Muzan grabbed me by my collar and slammed me into one of the rooms in the castle.

"Women and their fucking yapper mouths!", he snapped. My body slammed against the wall, causing me to writhe in pain. I was scared to death. He entered the dim room, and closed the door behind him. "Since you want to be loyal to your Oyakata sama so badly, I shall fuck that loyalty out of your brain", he said, as his veins popped out at his neck and forehead. I tried to crawl out from there but failed.

He walked towards me as he teared off his white suit, leaving him topless. I trembled, expecting my head to be crushed or my heart ripped out open. Muzan pulled my leg and hovered above me. He grabbed my hair and shoved his girthy length into my mouth. he fucked my throat, thrusted his hip deeper. I was gagging and dig my nails into his thighs. He keeps abusing my mouth as my tongue tasted his salty yet sweet length. It took him a few minutes to release inside my mouth. I swallowed the cum and coughed. He gripped my chin to look up at him.

I can feel my damp pantie and ovulation is making me wanting more. "Muzan...", I called him while looking up at him. He smirked as he slapped my lips with his wet length. "You want more? Then be loyal to me. Tell me where is Nezuko and you shall be fuck", Muzan said. I was in heat, need him in my pussy. "She's...at Urokodoki's house.. Please please fuck me", I moaned. He smiled. "Good girl. You should've tell me earlier so I can fuck you nicely", he muttered.

He kneeled infront of me and pushed me down on the bed behind. Muzan ripped off my uniform and throw away my sword. Not long after that, we're both completely naked and he went down to eat my out. The wet and sloppy sound can be heard and his finger is only busy to rub my clit and stimulates me more. He laps my juice hungrily and licked it nonstop. I let out a whiny sound, and gripped his hair to stop but failed.

He ended up spreading my legs apart and shove his whole girth inside me, making me feel his veins and his angry red tip hitting my cervix multiple times. He then changed position into full nelson, gripping my legs and keep on thrusting upwards into my hole.

"Muzan, I'm gonna cum, please!", I pleaded as I'm crying. He smirked.

"Not yet. Hold it. If you hold it till I cum, I'm going to reward you with my cum", he whispered into my ears. My hands gripped his biceps tightly as I'm reaching climax and tried to calm myself.

I feel the bulge is getting bigger and I moaned loudly. His teeth sunk into the soft spot on my neck, and his tongue licked off my blood. He then cummed inside me but he won't pulled out yet.

My whole body shaking crazily and he put me down on the floor without pulling out. He keeps on thrusting his cum inside and his fingers pinched my clit causing me to squirt my juice on his hand. He brought his fingers up and shoved them inside my mouth, making me taste my own juice.

I hummed softly and still looking at him, full of lust and desire.

His immaculate and demonic strength making him to do sex for hours, and my legs went limp while we tried the riding position.

"Gonna make you as my Queen and we'll make cute babies", he uttered as he laid behind me to finger me with his three digits while his girth is in my anal now, churning it.

[squerlly]

flames of desire chapter 6: troublesome

Alastor x (f! bunny reader)

your POV: Earlier this morning Alastor had made breakfast again and Charlie called everyone over, heading out I take a seat next to angel, a plate waiting for me. Alastor had made French toast topped with powder sugar, I don't quite remember the last time I had French toast, picking up my fork I cut a piece off taking a bite letting out a satisficed hum in response. while everyone was eating angel was talking about wanting to go to a nightclub later today "angel the point of redemption is to clean yourself of sins" "oh cmon its just a bit of drinken, I promise I wont do drugss~ y/n you'll come with me wont ya?" stopping mid bite I put my fork down "uhm angel... I haven't been out to drink in a while and besides I'm not very good at holding my-" "nahh it will be fun trust me, ill take care of ya!" "I- I mean I guess" "great later tonight, dress in somethin sexy, ya never know who might be there~" I roll my eyes as I finish my food.

Alastors POV: a night club? I would have never taken y/n for a person who enjoys such activity's...especially with angel, that could be troublesome. "angel perhaps you should take somebody else with you, wouldn't want another mishap like last time~" "now how the fuck did you know about that!!!" "I know everything angel..." "your fucken creepy" "you could be more clever with your words" "whatever well be fine Val wouldn't be there, I hope..." not very convincing "well its none of my business what happens to you, just don't drag others along when something does"

your POV: Alastor left the table leaving everyone else to finish there food. during the evening I help niffty with some cleaning, husk threw up on the carpet from drinking to much and she needed help cleaning the stain. after what felt like hours the floor was clean and it was time for me to get ready for tonight. walking back to my room I rummage through my closet seeing if I have any nice outfits or dresses, I stumbled upon one dress that was all black, it had an open back stopping above my tail with thin straps and a semi deep V line, it was long enough that it covered but one wrong move and its over, putting it on it was well fitted, hugging my waist nicely. I never had time to do my makeup so I went to angels room to help with my hair and face "well babes you look good enough to eat~ if I liked girls" "thanks angel", while he did my hair we laughed and talked, "if you don't stop moving while I'm doing ya eyeliner were gonna fight" "its to close to my eye!" "its eyeliner!!!". eventually we were done getting ready and he dragged me to his bathroom mirror, "angel I- I look so..." "hot?" I huff out a laugh "yeah ok" "ill meet you downstairs?" I nod heading out of the room to the lobby.

Alastors POV: Charlie and I were discussing her idea about hosting a "party" for sinners who are interested in redemption but she described it more like a ball. it wasn't bad idea but I'm sure people would only be there for the food. this idea lasted in my mind for a short while before Charlie let out an ear wrenching squeal "Charlie dear please do not-..." y/n walked into the lobby in a dress that I was not to keen on letting her leave outside with but my she looked beautiful. "y/n you look amazing!!!" "oh thank you Charlie, I'm not quite used to dressing like this..." "well my dear it is an interesting choice of clothing but you look wonderful" you look like I'm gonna have to murder a few people later "thanks alastor" "of course my dear, now if you excuse me I have some business to attend to"

your POV:

seeing angel walk out "alright babes you ready to party!!" "angel please please pleaseee!!!! be safe" "well be fine Charlie well be back before ya miss us" as we walk out of the hotel we head to the club that angel frequents at.

Alastors POV:

watching angel and y/n leave I turn to the hallway seeing my shadow grinning at me "follow them" with a nod it leaves, I'm not letting her out of my sight, especially looking like that...that's asking for trouble I will not allow

your POV:

walking into the club the music was so loud you could hear it from outside, the place was crowded and reeked of alcohol and cigarettes'. holding onto angels hand for dear life we finally manage to reach the bar "what can I get you to hotties" looking at angel I shrug, not knowing this place all to well "ill get a sex on the beach and shell get a margarita thanks~" "a margarita?" "oh cmon gotta start off strong" "your paying for my funeral" as the bar tender slides over our drinks we both clink glasses as we start off our night.

one hour into the night and I have lost angel, the effects of having to many drinks to count starting to kick in, pushing my way past the crowd looking for angel I bump into somebody tall somebody familiar?....wait no that's- "is that the little conejita I see~ well isn't that a surprise, what brings you to my club? back for a job~" "V-Val oh uhm I'm not-" slurring my words he drags me to a booth sitting me on his lap "somebody's had to much to drink today~" "no I have to go I'm looking for-" "now now leaving already, sit and stay a while let me treat you for a bit" trying to slip off his lap his two bottom hands have me held by the waist and I knew drunk or sober, that I was in deep shit...

because I was a day late I will be posting 2 chapters today so stay ready for the best ideas I have to bring to life I love you all hope you enjoyed and stay tunned~

-squerlly

@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz

for more content and chapter please click this masterlist

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

[kidge-planet]

A friendly night, right... (Part 2/? )

A kidge fanfic!

TW for this chapter:

-Language

Canon universe, episode 1 season 8.

A/N: I tried to correct my mistakes but, if you see some, tell me!! ( English is not my first language, btw🥲)

Just us?

Pidge POV:

Ok.

What the heck just hapenned?!

I was standing there, in the middle of this halway that I knew very well. But I never expected something like that to happen here, especially today…

No, tonight, I was supposed to go back home, finish my stuffs for the launching of the Atlas and then cuddle with my dog, Baebae, in my bed while watching a romantic movie. All that while crying, eating pretzel thins, crying again because im not the girl in the movie and then fall asleep while Baebae would chew on my socks. I honestly liked that plan very much, but, Keith’s proposition changed it all…

Now, Im supposed to go out and spend my evening with him. Just him and I…

Just us?!

I blushed at this thought. Why would he even want to spend that last moment on earth with me?! Every single girl that likes mans in the premisses had a crush on him! He had choice! But yet, he choosed me, the nerdy, short and weird girl…

He said a friendly night, right? Well, It was pretty weirdly asked. He was pretty weird.

I feel like he has something in mind…

HO, come on, stop imagining things, he might really want to just hang out as friends…

I clunched my fists:

All I knew, is that the situation was terrible.

Keith is handsome and excuse me, but he is SO DAMN HOT. I have to admit, I’ve been staring durring our training… Don’t judge me.

I also had a dream… Well, two dreams… OK FINE, a few dreams about him.

You might thinks it’s a great thing, but no.

Here, Im just killing myself because the day he’ll get married and I’ll only be some random girl at the wedding, I’ll feel bad for two things: Fantasizing about him but also that my fantasies never came true… OK, also because I wont be the one kissing him at the atlar…

WELL, now that he kind of… Asked me out, I have faith! Blaim me if you want to!

I sighed and tried to look natural before heading back in the room where the girls were. But, I can’t act natural and im pretty sure that I was walking like a duck while heading back to my sit. I tried to ignore the curious expression that Romelle was giving me, or Nadia’s grin… Allura was just smilling at me and as for Ina… Well, she was just being Ina.

«SOOOOOO, what did Keith told you?»

Nadia asked has she got closer to me, still arboring a stupide grin and insisting on Keith’s name.

«Nothing interesting, really, Paladin’s stuffs.» I tried to sound conveincing. I litterally don’t want them to annoy me with tones of questions.

«Ho, may I know? Im also a paladin as I recal...» Allura played into Nadia’s game... That’s treason.

«Just… forget it.» I sighed, hopping that these womans would leave me alone… I was a fool to think that.

«HO, come on Pidge! Tell us! This could be a nice girl talk! And what is said durring girl talks STAYS a secret!» Romelle leaned on my shoulder letting her long and blond hair fall on me.

«Ho, please...» I frowned as I pushed her asside.

The girls then placed themselves in front of me to plead. Even Ina nodded to agree with them. Man, I get what Matt and my parents had to live every days with me… I guess Im annoying.

I sighed, «OK, FINE! He asked me to hang out tonight. But please, don’t start to make up something in your mind, he asked me has friends… Well, he was pretty weird, He was like panicked and all… I just don’t get it. Lance even had to ask for him...»

The girls froze before to give me a huge smile.

«This is LITERALLY a date. he might have panicked while asking you and that’s why Lance was there.» Nadia got a little too ecxited and grabbed my shoulders to shake me as if she was trying to wake me up.

«You guys are over reacting, that’s exacly why I didn’t want to tell you...» I growled.

Nadia then stopped shaking me. «Ok, then, If it is just friendly, then why you? He could have asked to anyone else than you! Besides, he is supposed to be the ‘‘Loon wolf,, , isn't he?»

«Yeah Pidge, we both know that he LOVES being alone… The fact that he wants to spend his alone time alone WITH YOU means something!» Allura grabbed my arm.

«OK, OK, alright, let’s admit it IS a date… What am I doing?» I blushed.

The girls stayed silent for a moment before Ina spoke:

«What do you want to do? I mean, when he asked, what was your answer?»

«I said yes.»

«And now that you know that it probably could be a date, what do you think? Do you still feel interested on going?» She continued.

«I… I think yes, but that’s a bit unexpected...»

«It might feel unexpected but it doesn’t mean it bad. If you like him, then I guess that you’re best option is to go. So I suggest you to take that opportunity.» She smiled at me.

«YEAH! And we‘ll help you get to ready!» Romelle joined.

They all nodded.

I never felt so cared about by a group of girls… In general, when I was younger, girls would always judge me, call me weird and reject me so yeah. I basically never really had female friends…

I smiled, « Yeah, ok… We’re doing this!»

At my answere, I could see the happiness growing in their eyes… Why, you might ask? Because they get to relook me and it’s a thing that they wanted to do since a while now… (I heard them talking about that the other day but they also asked me a thousand times… I always refused because first, it feels a little embarassing but also because im ALWAYS busy doing something!)

I told them what Keith and Lance told me exactly as they were preparing me and Allura... I refused many things:

FIRST, Nadia wanted to wanted to straighten my hair which is was NO! It’ll sure make my hair look longer and better but I don’t want to look like I have been preparing for a date if it isn’t one. Let’s remind ourselves that we don’t know for sure that it is a date! (Also, I like my messy hair.)

THEN! They tried to put some make up on my face… And like, not just a little! SO, I asked them to make me look as natural as possible! Like, really, They only used gloss, mascara and blush which was honnestly fine to me… (And which wasn’t to them, they wanted to turn me into a doll but NAHA, no can do!)

Finally -and it was the hardest part to figure out- We had to chose clothes… And unlike when we helped Allura to chose the clothes for her date, we only had less then 20 minutes to figure this out.

They fought about many outfits, I tried 14 of them and every times, no one was agreeding… Before we finally found one perfect outfit: a simple black dress.

So yeah, we fought about outfits for 10 minutes to chose a BLACK DRESS.

Anyways, I didn’t say nothing about this.

When they were done, they stared at me and Allura with a proud grin on their faces… Well, exept Nadia, she obviously wanted to relook me fully.

Once we were ready, Allura left for her date, leaving me with Nadia, Romelle and Ina.

I’ll pass the details of the briefing they gave me but, everything that was in my mind while they were talking to me and giving me advices was: «What if we are just over reacting? So I’ll have to play it friendly unless I have an actual sign that this IS a date...»

« SO! Are you ok with that» Nadia asked. I didn’t listen to what she had been telling me for the last ten minutes, so, huh…

«Ok… With what?» I raised an eyebrow…

She took a step back and was ready to blame me for not listening but got stoped as someone steped in the room.

It was him. And HOLLY QUIZNACK. I had never seen him looking so hot. (Or maybe it was just the first time that I saw him with other clothing then the garisson uniform/ Garsison’s hospital clothing, his BOM uniform, paladin armor or his usual outfit… The hotest he wore so far was the BOM uniform…)

He had a black tank top with a checkered jacket and some QUIZNAKING grey sweatpants.

I couldn’t help but blush. Fuck…

«Hey!… So, huh… Are you ready?» He scratched the back of his neck.

I. couldn’t. TALK.

Hopefully, Nadia that was now next to me gave ma quick blow on the arm to reminding me that I had to give an answere.

«HA- Huh, Yeah! Im ready!...»

«Great! So, let’s go?...»

«Yeah! Let’s go...» I said as I turned toward the girls behind me that were giving me signs to go.

I walked towards Keith and followed him outside were he had parked his motorcile.

I pass the awkward talks we had while then but basically, We both got on the motorcicle and I had to wrap my arms around his torso. I think you guessed that it was half pleasant and half horrible ever since I had to try to calm my heart beats… Like, MY HEART WAS RACING.

After a while, we arrived at his house in the desert. I had heard about it before but it was the first time that I saw it. It looked cute and calm. Next to it, the black lion was sat and apparently waiting for us...

«What is black doing here?» I asked while taking off the helmet he had lended me.

«Follow me and see.» He held his hand for me to grab it.

I hesitated before to finally hold it and follow him to wherever he wanted me to go.

We climbed all the way up to black’s head and wow, I wasn’t ready for that!

He had placed pillows, snacks and pizzas with some nice lights all around! It looked so hella nice and cute.

«You like it?» He asked as he squized my hand.

I was amazed, «It’s so nice!… You did all that?..»

«Yeah, I really wanted to spend a nice last night on earth… Im glad you like it tho, I did it for you.»

«It's amazing, Keith.» I looked up at him.

We became silent as we smiled at each other and at this point we had compleatly forgotten that we were holding hands… Then we remembered and it became awkward, again… (No need to tell you that we stopped holding hands then)

He looked away. «Should we sit?...»

I was still blushing hardly «Let’s do that...»

[pueraeternal]

Locker 316

I saw you again today. In the lunchroom you eat by yourself, head down either writing or drawing. I dared myself to walk by, just to glimpse what you are doing. I just ate and watched.

In the yard I saw you pacing in the far corner, away from the other kids. I know you hide it, but I can see you talking to yourself. The other girls started circling towards you, w/ their giggles and stares. I wish I could warn you, or even stop them. But secretly im glad their attention is on you. I am ashamed that I looked away and went back inside to sit by my locker and read. This is my escape, make myself small so no one notices and go into my imagination. People trip over me all the time, I guess it works.

I started looking for you at lunch each day. Sometimes I find you eating by yourself and other days by your locker reading. I know your locker number, 316. The days I cant find you at school, I walk by it. Someone drew a dick on it. I stopped and looked at it, head turned. Same thing happened to me last year. It was in permanent marker and stayed there all year. Until the summer when some custodian must have cleaned it. I don't know exactly who did it to you, but its the same people.

Im not sure why I stayed there staring, normally I walk by and whisper your number "316". Just an assurance that I wont forget it, maybe its because I dont know your name. I have no one to talk to, so its not like I can ask anyone who you are. Besides, this is at the other end of the school, lots of younger kids I dont know.

I turn and walk back to my class, lunch is over, I did not see you again today and a little sad.

I could not sleep that night, my imagination was keeping me awake again. I get lots of ideas at night, it can be overwhelming, sometimes I get up and write them down, often I am up all night writing. Sometimes I just lie there and let my thoughts carry me away. Tonight I thought of 316.

All sort of scenarios played in my mind, where I rescue you from the girls, I come between you and them, I am fierce, loud, brave and tell them off, sometimes I even punch or kick them. You always hug me afterwards. We become friends and eat lunch together. Sometimes I imagine ways I walk up and talk to you, we become instant best friends. You adore me and we are inseparable, just you and I against the world. But the truth is, you are just 316 and I am a no body to you. We both wander and talk to ourselves in different parts of the school. Only noticed for being different. I try to think of something I can actually do, some way to connect or just break out of my shell. I've got it! I flipped over the blanket, lamp on, sat in my desk chair with knees up to my chest and started drawing. I tried to put my tongue back in my mouth, but stopped myself, if you saw me, you would not care, I could be myself around you. Mom says to close your mouth, keep your tongue inside when concentrating, stop pacing and quit fidgeting. She is very strict w/ me, but not in my room, not tonight. I am being myself, the self that is most comfortable to me, tongue out between my teeth, left hand pressing fingers together in sequence and the right drawing, for you 316.

At school today I am exhausted. Not only from lack of sleep, but my social skills counselor has me practice small talk w/ other kids in our class of dummies....well, that's what the girls call us. Its tiring having to remembering all these social rules, I don't get most of them so I just copy what other people are doing. Its easier that way, but im always making mistakes. People laugh, walk away or ignore me. Some of the teachers are nice, like the social skills teacher. She says I'm masking. I love this word, it makes me feel special. Like I have a small piece of the puzzle figured out. I wish you were here, I really want to tell you about masking...oh crap, I'm busted for day dreaming again. More shame and guilt hits me. Thank god its almost noon. I reach in my bag and check to see if my piece of paper is there. Ive been checking it all morning.

When the bell rings I run across the school, this is not something I normally I do. I prefer to walk close to walls and avoid people but today I am feeling brave. I am on a mission for 316.

When I reach the locker, you are not there, but the obscenity still is. I reach into my bag, pull out the paper and unfold it. I'm starting to sweat, feeling very self conscious, I bet everyone is looking at me. My left hand wants to shake and feet want to start moving, I hate this feeling, needing to move, not being able to stand still, it gets worse when im nervous. I look at the locker number and steady myself. Glue stick, paper and steady hands put the picture over top of the of the one thing keeping you from school and away from me.

I go to the office and call home. I cant possibly stay here any longer, my batteries are drained, my hand wont stop shaking and fingers counting. I need to go home and escape. today was too much.

Two days later Its lunch time, I am in the cafeteria and find you, writing or drawing from across the room. I pick up my lunch, sketch book, pencils and walk across the room till I am next to you. I set my stuff down, making sure you see my sketch book first. I sit beside you and start drawing, neither of us say a word.

I have a friend today.

-Puer Aeternus

[coccyodynia]

things:

i went home the other weekend and didn’t steal any pills, as much as i thought about it, so thats kind of cool i guess

i got a very fun and cool tattoo yesterday, its a woman swinging an axe with that line i wrote a few years ago - “i swing and i dont miss”

i am seeing a The Plot In You tonight with justin

we’re planning on hanging out before the show too but the weather is gonna be shitty so who knows, he’ll probably flake out at this point

we’re also planning on going to chicago in a month but im concerned i wont be able to afford it idk. i just stashed away $250 for it but i wouldn’t be surprised if i had to dip into that before then

we’re on okay terms right now. its been a huge rollercoaster as usual but he still wants to keep me around in some type of way i guess bc he’ll respond or say shit like ‘i’m always here for you’

ive been dissociating a lot still but im practicing the skills to get a handle on it

ive officially stopped caring about anything at my job, i just dont give a fuck at all anymore

if i start caring again it will probably kill me, at least considering the rate we were going before 

i had a friend OD twice in the last week or so and im literally just bracing myself to lose another person to fent

its been almost a year without michael now and im still really heartbroken about

i can tell ive started letting my apartment/kitchen get bad again and it’s upsetting me but i feel paralyzed about it

one of my best friends is having a really tough time too and we keep messaging each other little check-ins even though neither of us have the capacity to really support or help the other person in any meaningful way

ive just been way too tapped out lately, and it has been affecting my health for quite awhile

my weight seems to be stable now or at least kinda, i lost 50 lbs and last week for the first time in awhile it didn’t go down when i got on the scale

my parents and grandma all made comments about how they can tell ive lost a lot of weight since i saw them last (6 weeks or so ago?)

my mom has been telling me “youre not eating enough calories” which i think gave me whiplash considering up until now my entire life shes been insistent that i eat too much

my financial situation is really about to get fucked up since im not teaching this summer, so i will lose that income for a few months ($800/month)

im pretty nervous they wont ask me back to teach in the fall bc the head of the department doesnt really like me

i got great evaluations from my students tho! at the end of the semester, two of my students asked if i would be comfortable with giving them a hug and i got emotional

i helped one of my students get into their first gallery show in NY and im just so fucking proud and excited for them

another student had made me a little embroidered camera patch for my bag 

im still very much thinking about applying to graduate/phd programs in the fall

there’s about 5 programs im interested in, but none of them are local so i’d have to move pretty far if i were accepted

im going to re-apply to university of denver for the MA emergent digital practices program

i applied to there in 2021 and was accepted but i wasn’t offered enough financial aid since i applied after the priority deadline so i’ll try it this fall and see what happens

im still dreaming about going to Brown for their digital writing/cross-disciplinary writing and art MFA but it's such a pipe dream

i also found a fascinating phd program at duke but they're not accepting applications this year?

i want to write and photograph more but by the end of the day i am so incredibly burnt out that it seems more like a chore than an outlet

i really wish there was a way for me to just quit my job and take some time off before going into another job

anyway therapy is back to once a week and sometimes 2x a week just depending on how well i handle things

my mom is still being the worst person ive ever met and im really trying to disconnect from her/the family as much as i can

she just spent $500 on a plane ticket so she can go spend a week with the guy she was engaged to in college

she sucks so much and i hate her 

anyway that’s all

[cherrydollprincess]

ok so i officially ⭐️ved 24 hours which for me is pretty good and burned about 400 cals last night and right now. i got starbucks with my sister and it’s the only thing i’ve had so far. it’s 140 cals and i was hoping to not have anything else but now i kind of have to have dinner with my family. i guess i’ll just do another 24 hrs after i eat and not eat tmrw.

it’s getting a lot easier to not eat but it was difficult on the treadmill last night. i was really light headed but in some way it felt good. i want to go again tonight. it wont feel the same though because i’m eating dinner and it ruins everything. i might go on another walk with my dad and i’ll check my steps afterwards. rn i’ve only done 4000ish but i want to burn some of my dinner off later.

in some way this movie really gives me motivation lol

[axgmented]

[ 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 ] ― sender hears receiver crying and approaches comfort them .

@meteodrives

When people say that the Turks felt nothing, it only proved they had no idea who they really were. Of course, in their line of work, emotions and morals go right out the window when the contract is signed and you're slapped on the payroll. They have a reputation to uphold, to be the ghosts of Shinra, the guard dogs, the attack dogs-- all of it. Those who wore their hearts on their sleeves didn't last long in their line of work. But to say that the Turks felt nothing?

Rem tips her beer back, taking long pulls of the alcohol before feeling it sit like a puddle of swamp water in her stomach. She had paid Tifa for the beer and liquor she swiped from the shelf and hefted to the roof of the bar. She just didn't want to drink down below deck, with all those prying eyes-- tonight just wasn't a good night. Rem, unlike her counterparts in the ranks, felt everything too intensely. She grieved for her brothers in arms when they wouldn't let themselves. She ached for their sins, taking on their burdens and once a month she's a shaken soda bottle that just explodes. She wishes she could have waited until she got home though.

Her eyes burn, chest and lungs scream for air as she tries to evenly blow the air out of her quivering lungs. She tries to steady the way her chest hiccups, tries to keep her whimpers quiet as she knocks back another beer-- twenty-four pack doesn't last long with a metabolism like hers. Her face feels hot, ears ringing as she remembers how Reno clenched his teeth and fought with Rude, how he was plagued with nightmares and how the guilt eats at his ribs-- because he doesn't believe he has a heart left. How Rude is the stone in the storm, taking every hit his partner throws at him because he knows, gaia does he know, that it isn't him he's angry with. It's the whole construct of good and evil, of sins and atonement.

Rem wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand, a shaking hand lighting the end of a cigarette and taking a drag from the filter. They wont see it, Turks had built a reputation for being the shadows of death for a while. Following orders, never asking questions; asking questions got you off the roster and well.. off the roster just meant a lifetime of silence six feet underground. It wasn't like they had much of a choice; sure break ranks and join a rag-tag team of resistance fighters? ShinRa had ranks.. not just Turks.

She hates how they demonise them, how they only see the sins of the past. It was true, what her brothers-in-arms did was horrible, but what they don't understand is how Rufus was nothing like his father; all of that, was the Seniors idea. Rem flinches, seeing the visions of the plate dropping as Reno described to her one night-- how pale he looked, how he shook as if he had a fever. The heat of the explosions, the sounds of metal. She feels sick but chases the nausea with a pull of whiskey this time before her eyes burn again. She'll cry because they can't. They wont, because they dont feel like they deserve to.

She hadn't heard Tifa come up behind her, so when she feels the woman's hand curling around her shoulder Rem nearly smashes the bottle against her ribs out of instinct. It takes her a minute, blinking rapidly before realising it wasn't a threat, just the barmaid. God, this was embarrassing. She wouldn't expect Tifa to understand, part of her wishes she did though. Her head turns, hand hastily wiping at her cheeks to rid them of the glassy streaks.

"..it got bad again t'day. ain't nev'r seen renton go aft'r rude like tha' in a long time…" her voice is pinched, and Rem uses it as an excuse to take down another mouthful of whiskey in order to clear her throat.

"..they wont cry, so i guess i'll do it f'em.."

rem feels it, all their guilt and their agony; their insomnia and fear-- how thick it stays on their tongue and how it settles beneath their eyes in dark circles. She feels her own guilt, for the lives she takes without question and how when she's on missions, she doesn't feel anything but excitement for snuffing out lives.

".. but who tha fuck cries for me, Ma?"

[fishchomp]

you're money, baby. you're money.

dreams are a sort of sacred place. but last night you appeared and you read all of my journals (ones that don't even exist in realife, secrets that i would be too embarrassed to admit) and you laughed and i was there to watch but you never spoke to me, you just laughed. sonow im scared to see what tonight may bring. we watched that movie swingers last night, and now we've seen 6% of all of vincevaughns movies even though it feels like we've already seen a lot of them. jon favreau ran from new york to LA because his exgirlfriend found someone new and he was sosad even though he was that one who left her, and he was so sad that its all he could think about. all he did was wait for her to call, but she never did.and vince vaughn kept saying no, youre money baby, youre money. but he wouldn't listen. but then he met this lady named lorraine and they went swing dancing (which i guess is where the title comesfrom) and then his ex girlfriend calls him but he hangs up on her because lorraine is on the other line. i guess the only cure to heartbreak is a girl who can swing dance. i think things are getting distant again, but its not myfault.it actually never is, because im not the one that's going away (except i also am). im going to keep trying, ill never stop trying, but i dont know if its because i love you or because im building a case against you. i watched a bunch of grown men fight in my text messages yesterday and i waited six days to open a text because i was soscared of what it said but then it just said things like "its okay" and "i understand". well, pain is just another thing to feel. love is just another thing to feel. nothing real is really real. you feel? i slept on the amtrak twice this week. its a very [vulnerable / humiliating]* experience. and its honestly not even a pretty view. a 20 year old kid gave me an edible and i took myself dancing and i bought myself a new york strip steak and i scoffed when they asked for my ID, because don't you know who i am on the inside? my grandfather brings people to the bar he built in his basement and he has them sign the walls and many of those peoplearen't alive anymore, and some of them weren't even that old. i wonder what will happen to the walls in that house one day. we've gotta do karaoke. we've gotta goto that 70s themed club with the rainbow dance floor in the west loop.we've gotta keep eating out even when we shouldn't and we've gotta visit each other again soon and we've gotta keep saying yes even when we're tired. we simply gotta. in the war on celebrities, julian is going first, by the way. *though i guess vulnerability and humility are the exact same thing in a way. you cannot truly be exposed to the world without feeling so uncharacteristically shy. one day i wont even care what [you / anyone] thinks. "where do we go from here, i’ll say, youre a shining star, you'll do great in LA, and i keep fixing every habit that i break"

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. writer of good stories honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😌

Oh to have a kid means never having a neat house. I remember going to my friends house to visit. My niece's room was so clean and tidy, then when she wanted me to play with her, she would just start moving the toys out of her room and make a big mess 🤣

So is the food you just had the first and last thing you'll have for 4 hours and then fast again for another 20? Are you able to drink water or coffee at least?

Woot! Finally part 4 coming out soon! I'm excited for the ending! Then are you gonna start with other stories? Like maybe 10 days? Ahahahaha just kidding no rush no rush.

So my headache is still there. I had a short power nap during my lunch break, but it didn't help any. I thought it was maybe just my eyes are strained, but I guess not. So I don't know what is going on.

Oh no, when I first moved here, it was in CA. Then we moved to FL then to GA. Then when I met my ex, she was in Canada. But then we met friends in NE, and decided to move here.

Ah I know what you mean with the shoes and wet socks. Even though they make water shoes! You goose. But I hate those too just because the splash is so cold lol

Yeah, CA has so many Filipino stores now. I am so sad I don't live there. There is this one place that sells bbq stuff and you can grill it yourself outside.

Hahaha yeah, I'll be bringing back lots of snacks definitely. There's also this one cereal that's been my favorite since I was a child, I might bring back boxes of those.

Ah so when you cook noodles for yourself, what kind do you make?

Thats funny you brought that up, because I was just watching clips of Gloria and how she speaks. Ah so your husband is from CA originally then? How much taller is he than you? Did Emily get half and half of your guys genes then or is she more white?

I stay quiet too when I am around someone I don't like. But if they keep pushing, I just walk away. Cause I don't want to say anything that I would regret. But I avoid those people anyway.

Has a stranger ever changed your life or made an impact?

-CuriousGeorge

Aaw that was a sweet nickname for me.. thank you so much.. i appreciate ur support n thank u for reading my stories.

Oh yeah thats so true.. it can change from clean n tidy to a mess in a second.lol. thats why we call her the hurricane Em or tornado Em.lol.

Well, actually i can eat whatever i want in 4hours window. i eat after 20hours fasting n then usually i eat something else around 30minutes or last minutes before the eating window ends so i wont get hungry too early.

Yeah u can drink water, tea or coffee that's plain. No sweet at all. I drink water and iced tea the whole day.

Haha yeah, pt. 4 is done.. i might start putting it in the tumblr n post it tonight. So stay tune! Hahaha.

N maybe after this i will focus on last chapter of my lost in assistance series, ten days n lesson learned. Or some of my old requests.

I know what u meant with water shoes but it usually for swimming or surfing or water activity. 😆 i wouldnt wear it all day at the park.lol.

Talking about a "water" ride. I remember this one ride that i tried once n i will never do it ever again. I forgot what it's called but i think it's the Nemo Submarine or something. It's in disneyland. Gosh that one ride is a torture to me.

It's just a submarine ride that take u under the water n u can see like robotic fish n coral n sometimes underwater screen that shows nemo movie. What bothers me is it's a long narrow submarine-like ride n they put a lot of people sit along the submarine n face to face pretty close. N then goes under water n it moves slow. It's so narrow that it started to give me anxiety n panic attack. Plus it's gross me out because i imagine the air in it is not clean with that many people breath in it. It feels weird n imagine what kind of germs that comea out of other's breath. Also it feels so weird with that many people in it n u dont know what to do, i felt like people watch me or something even though they all watch the window n dont even care about me... thank god when it starts to get harder to breath for me, the ride ended. So yeah imagine 3 of my fear or anxiety triggers combined in one confined place. Claustrophobic, germphobic and my social anxiety. Lol. Just google or youtube the ride so u'll see.what i meant. 😁

Oh no, im sorry.. maybe because u look at the screen too much? Did u take medicine or anything?

Wow u moved a lot.. that must be hard.

I like any thinner noodle. Panfried or soupy..doesnt matter, as long as it's spicy.haha.

Yes. He was born n raised in CA. He's like 6ft, blue eyed, his hair is light brown. N i'm 5'2 lol. So i think im about a little bit under his shoulder. I think Em is mixed pretty good but looks a little more white.lol. my friends n family say that she looks like the white version of me 🤣🤣🤣

For me, she looks just how i want it. U can see the asian in her but more dominant in the white looks. Good color on her eyes n hair. N she is definitely gets his height genes. She is more than half of my height. Lol. When she was born she looked very very asian n she changed A LOT. 😅 my husband wanted her to look more asian. Lol.

Ah i see..thats true. We r kinda similar.

Hmmm i dont really remember. I think someone help me to get me out of the pushing n crazy crowd in linkin park concert. Otherwise i might be dead from getting stomped.lol. u?

Next question?

Cheerio!

[outofcontexturi]

tuesday 11th October 2022 journal

today has been a good day. im in a better mood than i was yesterday. I feel good man. the moon looks so beautiful tonight too! it looked gorgeous yesterday but today its even more special because its in taurus rn and its a full moon and taurus is my moon sign so ykwtfigo! you guessed it nigga im high. great high btw. i also need to get something to eat. gonna have that plantain and spinach stew again me thinks. save money. it’s currently 20:00pm and im listening to Remedy by Cherise again. life has been so kind to me today and the last few weeks/months. im so fucking grateful that im being heard by the universe and shit. thank you God fr. I love you. People from my past have contacted me. Two Sagittarius women. both quite similar in few ways but still similar. Juliet and Eunique. never thought id put those two names together but surprise from the cosmic whatever, God, universe, idk nigga but like damn. And i checked my astrological compatibility of Juliet and I and we are very compatible. its like i was meant to meet her in this lifetime or something idk. cause i’ve deffo said that i feel like she’s gonna be in my life for a while for some reason and even though i dont really want to speak to her like that its just interesting that there’s a weird attraction we seem to gravitate towards each other during long periods away. i’ve only known her 2 years. its weird though man. I had a conversation with her today for the first time in months. im only just deeping that omg. i genuinely dont remember the last time i spoke to her so it was weird doing it today in a way. its also cosmic convenience that happened to be listening to me on my way home as i saw Naia i said to myself “wouldn’t it be funny if i see Juliet” as i exit the doors and walk to the exit WHO DO I FUCKING SEE? Juliet and Jacob lmaoooooooo like what are the chances??? i could’ve seen anyone but I saw the person i thought about hahah thats weird man. But anyways i had a nice little catch up with her about agencies, how she wont be doing theatre unless she’s getting paid properly, and how she spent some of her summer as well as how rehearsals are going for her(and jacob) at the moment. they said it was very physically demanding and that they were meant to have a tech rehearsal yesterday but they’re doing it today. there seemed to be alot of fatigue in the space from both Juliet and Jacob. Chloe came to give Jacob a form to fill out to do with allergies or some shit like that. Juliet told me about how she was in Rhode Island over the summer and how she flooded a hotel there lmao. apparently the fine was $9.000 or some shit like that. It’s just so weird that we’re talking like nothing between us has happened and that she ghosted me for months and then randomly yesterday sent me a tick tok? and cause i have her archived in my whatsapp i saw a notification in there and was thinking who’s this? and saw it was her and saw a tik tok on the message and thought huh??? why?? whats going on here?? anyways i ended up replying to her and then i decided to do a birth chart compatibility and we probably knew each other from another lifetime because we’re quite drawn to each other for some weird reason. i dont know why and i kinda wanna know why.  Role Model by Brent Faiyaz has been my song of the day. Danny Lee also left today. i dont know where i’d be without him man. God bless him! i need to be more considerate of Honey and i plan on doing that. I need to listen to her when she talks about herself to me. i love her. we’re doing tech tomorrow. this rehearsal process is coming to an end. i cant believe it. well i can but like its been 4 weeks or something like that like damn! i didnt think i’d be the version of who i am now when i started lamda let alone third year. proud of myself man. this thought is proudly brought to you by time 20:46pm. dont miss out. nah come on tell me that wasn’t a good little slogan for time. come on man. i gonna add that to the rambles. right now. im gonna sign off here. i’ll talk to you soon. Sign out time: 21:10pm.

[bordeleaubeau]

liked by youruser, jackhughes, brendan.brisson and 16,127 others

lhughes_06: i love you more than life itself. happy anniversary to the love of my life. i wouldn’t be where i’m at if i didn’t have you by my side. life wouldn’t be the same without your bright smile, you wearing my jersey, or singing along in the car with you at the top of our lungs. you bring an aspect to life i never knew was possible and i will never be able to thank you enough for. i’m blessed every single day to be able to say that you’re mine and that you’ve been able to deal with me for so long. i love you larger than life, to the moon and back y/n m/n. you brighten up everyone’s lives more than you realize, my love. happy anniversary, i’ll see you tonight. xoxo, l

tagged: youruser

view all 4,863 comments

youruser: i love you most, luke hughes. 🤍

ellenhughes: love you kiddos. @/youruser ↳ youruser: thank you for all of our candids mama e<333

owenpower_: just found out my toaster is waterproof

fan: omg @/fan2 look how freaking cute they are ↳ fan2: STOP THE HOSPITAL PIC🥺🥺

dylanduke25: shitting crying throwing up

dylanduke25: mom and dad mom and dad mom and dad

mattybeniers10: put a ring on it ↳ jackhughes: they’re still 16 in my head lets not think about that ↳ youruser: i told him i wont marry him until he signs his elc #golddigger ↳ lhughes_06: hard knock life i guess

_audreyoconnor: omfg you guys are the cutest. ↳ youruser: you and matty are the blueprint though<3 also, double date soon when im back? ↳ _audreyoconnor: without a doubt!!! ↳ fan3: friendship goals i miss the posts together sm

_quinnhughes: still don’t know how you managed to get stuck with his weird ass. but we’re so glad to have you as part of the family @/youruser ❤️ ↳ youruser: i’m honored you guys have taken me in the way you have:)

markestapa: my god luke you have turned into such a simp ↳ mackie.samo: ITS SO WEIRD ↳ youruser: this is awkward he was always a simp ↳ lhughes_06: thanks for outing me babe ↳ markestapa: 😘 ↳ youruser: too stunned to speak

liked by lhughes_06, markestapa, ellenhughes and 5,862 others

youruser: happy anniversary dummy<3 the biggest softy i have ever met in my entire life. from sixteen to now, i wish i could tell younger us how much we’ve been through. i’m so so so proud of you and everything you have accomplished luke, and i’m so happy i’ve got to be on the sidelines cheering you on this entire time. you are my entire world, even when you make fun of my singing. or eat my leftovers. or pay more attention to your video games than to me. still, you are my real life prince charming and i couldnt ask for anyone better to do life with. here’s to many more my love🥂✨

view all 888 comments

lhughes_06: i love you princess

markestapa: the contrast between their posts is lowkey so funny ↳ dylanduke25: the way everyone wouldve expected y/n to have the super sappy post but it was actually luke ↳ youruser: you guys think hes soft just by watching us interact but its so much deeper than that its kinda funny

fan4: “real life prince charming” brb crying.

fan5: y/n dating 16 year old luke really was her trusting the process ↳ youruser: recognizing potential 💅🏻

lhughes_06: i think my girlfriend just called me ugly ↳ youruser: you looked like a child at sixteen. your glow up is unmatched

jackhughes: our sister in law that isn’t actually our sister in law but has been around so long she’s basically our sister in law

chellseacomar: so cute to see you guys grow up together

_audreyoconnor: just when i thought you couldnt get any more adorable i stand corrected:’))

fan6: the. way. he. looks. at. her. @/fan7 ↳ fan7: i want that ↳ fan8: LITERALLY TO DIE FOR

brendan.brisson: so like can i call best man or ↳ jackhughes: fight me

ellenhughes: again, we love you so much honey. check your text messages!

fan9: omg we’re gonna get date night content 🤩

kentjohnson.13: no children making please @/lhughes_06 ↳ lhughes_06: i would do no such thing ↳ youruser: kj love u dont make me think about babies ↳ youruser: baby fever>:) ↳ jackhughes: NO

[134340am]

hi again! this is the previous anon. Thanks for responding quickly, i just needed to make sure i wont make u uncomfy with my request. Number 19 on the kiss list reminded me of that meme wherein one dude sat on his friends shoulder to kiss their significant other on the window (am not sure if ur familiar with it!) so i thought i’d request that particular concept but its the reader with their bnha girlie besties going to the boy’s windows instead… maybe with Shouto? Just because i think he’ll probs be so adorable about it 🤤🌸🤤

19. "if we’re caught kissing we’re most likely dead but let’s risk it"

todoroki shouto x gn!reader, 0.8k words, sfw

perhaps it was the post-midterm restlessness. perhaps it was the fact that it was a friday evening and there weren’t any more exams to study for next week. or perhaps it was because the ever-responsible, ever-diligent class president iida had matters outside of school to attend to, that led to this – half the class being banned from using their quirk for three days for participating in a water fight in the dorms.

and with your weather-based quirk that soaked everyone to the bone with a fridge-sized rain cloud you summoned up, you were definitely not exempted from this punishment, leaving you with a sticky and unsightly quirk-nullifying patch slapped onto your arm by aizawa-sensei and an order to stay in your rooms for the next three days.

well, you guess it could be worse. your patch, about the size of a bottle cap and patterned with pastel blue and yellow stripes, was certainly easier on the eyes than bakugou’s hot pink patch dotted with sleeping kittens. (you expect aizawa-sensei plays favourites, not that you care – seeing bakugou get mad at a little hot pink sticker on his arm was pretty darn funny.)

what wasn’t funny was the alarming text you got from shouto as you were getting ready for bed. as you were reaching over your nightstand to switch off your lamp, your phone pings with a distinct text tone – a light, tinkling sound that your boyfriend picked out himself. and you’re almost embarrassed at the way you dived for your phone at the foot of your bed.

you’ve spoilt me – i can’t sleep without a goodnight kiss. what should i do? reads the text. you smile at the simplicity and sincerity embedded in the message.

but your initial excitement was quickly overcome with guilt; because it’s true – you have spoilt him with goodnight hugs and kisses, and it’s your own foolishness that will have shouto staying up late tonight. and given how you probably won’t be able to sleep without having your own share of goodnight kisses too, you suppose you won’t be falling asleep anytime soon.

but what can you do? blow him a kiss over the phone and ask for one back? send him some smiley, kissy emojis and call it a day? hit record and send over a video? (the thought of it makes you cringe. sure, you loved shouto dearly, but you would rather eat a sock.)

another loud ping breaks your train of thought.

i’m going to try to sleep now. goodnight, love. sleep well!

oh. now your heart hurts. you know you have to do something. and lucky for you, you know just the right person who’d be happy to help…

so you call your ever-reliable neighbour. ochako picks up almost immediately, still sounding energetic and lively despite it being late.

“what’s up, babe?”

“listen – you’re the only person on this floor that hasn’t gotten a quirk ban from aizawa-sensei, so i need your help. and you have to promise me you won’t utter a word of this to anyone else.”

a minute later, you find yourself on your balcony (and ochako on hers) going over the plan one more time. when ready, you two high five, causing you to float upwards.

with ochako’s help, you manage to float onto shouto’s balcony, gripping the edge as tightly as you can to stop yourself from floating away into the next hemisphere. a thumbs up lets ochako know to let you down, and you find yourself flopping clumsily onto the floor of his balcony.

as promised, shouto’s gone to sleep: the light under his curtains has gone out. but you knock anyway and pray that he’ll respond.

a moment passes before you hear the shhhhhhick of his screen door sliding open. enter: one sleepy shouto rubbing his eyes, confused, while the hair at the back of his head sticks up adorably.

“how did you get up here? and what are you doing here, love?”

“i’m here to give you your goodnight kiss, of course.”

so with adrenaline flooding your veins and the cool night air kissing your heated skin, you pull him in and meet his lips. shouto melts into you immediately, love-struck and relieved to have you in his arms one last time before the day ends. a cold hand – must be his right one – slips behind your head to massage at your neck, and all the leftover stress from midterms dissipates immediately.

the kiss is relatively chaste and sweet, the two of you simply content with being near each other. eventually, shouto pulls away to look at you, thumb swiping over your bottom lip as an amused smile stretches across his pink lips. “you know, we’d be dead if someone catches us up here.”

you can’t help but smile back.

“worth.”

(series masterlist) (masterlist)

[threepointseven]

Home(Dinner Part 2)

Im shortening the exchange students name to S/N AKA student name

Sorry i forgot to answer the person who actually requested this @kurooandkarmaswife thank you sm for requesting! I hope you enjoy 😩

Also lets pretend you cant have more than 1 pact with a human cause yeah. If you havent read Dinner yet go read it since you’ll really only understand this if u read the first part

Fandom: Obey me!

Pairing: not really with anyone but has subtle undertones of solomon & Simeon x reader

Length: sort of long

Genre: Angst with comfort

Gn! Reader and exchange student!

Part three!

Dinner last night, was, well...pretty terrible. I ended up waking up at 2 am to the brothers STILL not home. Apparently even Diavolo had taken a liking to the new exchange student.

A day goes by and finally i get to meet the new exchange student.

Whoah

Is all i can think. I walk into the living room unnoticed as everyone is talking to the new exchange student, i wouldnt blame them.

They look incredible.

I felt a hint of jealousy wash over me. Seeing Mammon, Asmo’s and Beel’s joyful laughs as they talk to them. Their voice was ever so gentle, it’s what i imagine spring to sound like.

I tried forgetting about my distasteful thoughts of jealousy and walked over to them.

“Goodmorning!”

I called out to try and grab their attention

“Oh, MC! I didnt see you there;;”

Asmo said to me as he was taking selfies with the new exchange student

“This is the new exchange student”

Beel smiled

“Hi! My name is MC”

I happily introduced myself

“My name is S/N”

They brought their hand out and i shook it in return. Their eyes were ever so sweet, i felt the sadness come over me as i wore a soft smile.

Something tells me this wont end well.

Weeks go by as i barely get to see the brothers anymore. They’re always around S/N. I find myself longing the brothers touch. The random emergency texts i get from mammon, calls from Asmo asking me if i wanted to go to a club, Belphie always dragging me to his room to take a nap, Beel’s adorable goodnight texts, Lucifer’s complaints about work, Satan’s library dates, And levi’s rants about a certain anime he just watched.. i missed it all.

I guess i missed the warmth and the constant attention i got from them. The attention thats now being directed at S/N.

The new feeling of emptiness leads me to the Purgatory hall, a place i’ve been to quite often after S/N had won over the brothers.

I enter the room praying that i dont see S/N hogging Luke, Solomon, and Simeon’s attention....

What?

Did i just think that?

Am i that jealous?

Have i gotten so used to being in the spotlight that suddenly i become like this when not in the center?

Its an unpleasant feeling and i try to snap myself out of it as i see Simeon, Luke, and Solomon all happily seated on the couch drinking tea and eating pastries Luke made.

“MC! Hey!!”

Luke happily greets me as well as Solomon and Simeon. Im pulled to the couch as im seated next to Luke. I take a bite of the pastry and embrace the comfort of the sugary sweets.

The conversation goes on for a long time as hours go by. Soon enough the entire tray of pastries and tea are long gone.

As the clock hits 8 PM i realize ive been at the Purgatory hall for too long now. Excusing myself i go back to the house of Lamentation to be once again greeted by smiling faces and S/N laying out plates filled with food for the brothers.

The brothers quarrels, Satan’s face of annoyance, Asmo’s whining... The smell of warm food on the dinner table being handed out....

As i hide from the view of the brothers and S/N i look back to when it would to be me that made everyone dinner and calmed them down.

My chair.

My chair had been occupied by S/N,

What?

Did they expect me to sit on the floor for dinner or something?

As i slowly walked to my room i heard the deep voice of Lucifer

“Oh MC,,, sorry S/N is sitting on your spot, we thought you were gonna go to the purgatory hall for dinner tonight. We do apologize”

As i feel my throat closing up i smile and say in a bubbly tone

“Oh it’s fine! I was actually gonna go out with my friends for dinner anyways! I was just getting something from my room, i’ll be out in a sec!”

Lucifer gave me a warm smile and continued conversing with S/N

As i went to my room i started to realize the situation here. I’ve been replaced. I mean who wouldn’t replace me when the actual definition of an angel was right in front of them with their welcoming arms open.

As soon as i got to my room salty tears trailed down my cheeks,

Jealousy?

Sadness?

Anger?

Whatever the emotion was i wasn’t having it. Unlocking my DDD to be greeted by the wallpaper of me and the brothers all dressed up for a ball we went to together once. i tried to hold back my few tears as i called Solomon, a dear friend of mine.

“Hey solomon!!”

“Oh, yes MC? Is there anything you need?”

“I know i just left the purgatory hall but could I possibly stay there for the night?”

“Oh, of course! I dont exactly know why but Luke’s already whining about how you stayed for too little.”

“I’ll be right over”

I hung up the phone, my tears stopping after i heard that comforting voice of his.

That night i stayed at the purgatory hall, happily sleeping next to Luke, lulling him to sleep.

The purgatory hall became my escape. Solomon always made me laugh, Simeon always made sure i felt welcome there and Luke was practically my adopted son after how long i could stay with him.

As i went about the kitchen helping Luke make a pastry i showed him from the human world a strange feeling washed over me. The feeling of something being erased from my my soul, something was fading away. That something felt like it was piercing my soul.

I look around my body to see what it is. As i look around i see it.

My pact marks are starting to fade

I panic as i excuse myself and go back to the house of lamentation.

As i silently enter the room i hear the faint sound of the brothers, they’re discussing something.

“Cmon Satan you’ve gotta be quick! What if they find out?!”

“Removing a pact isnt that easy Mammon.”

As i listen more i realize what it is.

They’re trying to break my pact with me.

And for what exactly?

Because they want one with someone else.

That someone being S/N

It hurt. Who wouldn’t be hurt? tears flowed from my eyes in record time as i tiredly walk outside.

Devildom was a place the brothers always told me to beware of, but right now i couldnt care less.

While i walked around the town with puffy eyes and the stinging feeling of my pact marks being removed, i hear a certain group of people call my name, i look back to see Luke, Solomon and Simeon’s smiles quickly turn into frowns as they see my tears

“What’s wrong MC?!”

Luke worriedly asks

Unable to hold it in i tell Them.

“The brothers are trying to break my pact with them, they want one with S/N apparently. Im afraid i’ve been replaced by that saint..”

Solomon and Simeon’s face turn into faces of empathy while Luke’s turned quite sour

As Simeon came closer to me and pulled me close into a hugged he mumbles out a comforting phrase

“Whatever happens MC, you’ll always be welcome at the purgatory hall.”

The sentence made my stomach overflow with butterflies. I happily hug back, quickly accepting the purgatory hall as my new and improved home.