#she thinks shes a saint cause she cooks dinner

[thedisablednaturalist]

I can't do this anymore

I try to explain my illness to my mom but she scoffs and makes fun of me

She says "then how come you can work all day and hang out with your boyfriend all the time??"

1. She fucking forces me to work. When I wasn't working I was guilted for every little thing I did that wasn't related to looking for a job. I need the money so I can get out of here. If I had the choice I'd work less and rest more but I have to get out of here.

2. My boyfriend and I rarely go out, and when we do I have my chair and he respects my needs and energy levels. He helps me with everything and doesn't guilt me about it. Thus it's not taxing to be with him.

I only see my friends once in a blue moon nowadays and we have made a point to do DND every week but I can barely keep up with that. I usually fall asleep before the end of the session tbh. But my friends are important to me so I try to set aside time once a week to spend time with them

I spend the rest of the time fucking asleep. I rarely do any of my hobbies like draw or play video games. Only on good energy days where I have the time.

But to my mom none of that matters. She doesn't see how hard I'm working. All she sees is "excuses excuses".

All I was trying to do was explain to her and my dad that yelling at me causes me to get stressed out which depletes my energy levels and causes my pain to flare. And she scoffs at me.

Her own fucking mother had fibromyalgia for fucks sake. You'd think she'd be more empathetic to what I'm going through

But no, everything is always my fault

[astonmartinii]

a spoonful of sugar part two | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem chef!reader

cheffing it up all over the calendar, here we go again

PART ONE | MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | MY SMALL BUSINESS

yourusername

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yourusername: we're in JAPAN 🇯🇵 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! yeah suzuka is cool and all but more importantly - SUSHI TIME and my oh my that spread is glorious if i do say so myself

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user1: oscar babygirlism is so real

landonorris: HOW DARE YOU GUYS INVITE ME OVER FOR DINNER AND SERVE THAT

yourusername: boo fucking hoo, i've had enough of your whining buddy

landonorris: OSCAR STOP HER SHE'S BEING MEAN

oscarpiastri: i mean i would take the home-cooked meal from the professional chef but that's just me

landonorris: stop shaming me :( i can't help it :(

yourusername: okay stop being dramatic, you can comeback from your hiding place i made chicken sushi as well

landonorris: oh thank you 😊

oscarpiastri: when i came in as the YOUNGER teammate, i didn't think y/n and i would be babysitting you

landonorris: you guys love me really

user2: i think y/n might have the patience of a saint

user3: i think i would die happy if i got a sushi spread from y/n

yukitsunoda0511: personally offended i was not invited :(

yourusername: nooooooooooo yukiii :((((( - i'll bring left overs ?

yukitsunoda0511: yes please (i'm much nicer than lando)

landonorris: when will the slander end?

oscarpiastri: i'm personally offended that any time y/n is visiting ME she ends up cooking and looking after all of you :(

yourusername: i love you the most though

oscarpiastri: hehehehehehe

user4: this relationship is so precious to me actually

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, landonorris and 1,094,558 others

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oscarpiastri: over the moon to get my first podium in f1 in my rookie season. p.s. get yourself a girlfriend that gives you a candy bouquet to celebrate your podium

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user5: oscodium i know that's right

mclarenf1: we don't think that's in your meal plan, but we'll let it slide for just this once

yourusername: damn right you will 🔫🔫🔫

oscarpiastri: okay no threatening my team on a post about my podium

yourusername: i guess they're fine (FOR NOW) (the next time i see team orders it's on sight)

mclarenf1: ... does this mean no more pasta parties? :(

yourusername: get my boy his first win and pasta for life for all of you

user6: the way y/n and oscar's mum both fell into each other when oscar crossed the finish line

user7: they're so real for that

user8: y/n is REAL wag representation, i too would go FUCKING mental if my boyf got a podium i would also be spraying champagne all over the garage and crying my eyes out

yourusername: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU

oscarpiastri: I LOVE YOU MORE, THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING ME - and looking after my mum after you caused a stampede in the garage

yourusername: hold on nicole is just as crazy as me

oscarpiastri: my two favourite women EVA

user9: when you're besties with your boyf's mum >>

landonorris: congrats oscahhhhhhh - how does one procure one of these bouquets?

oscarpiastri: hands off pal 🤨

landonorris: i just want CANDY STOP ACCUSING ME OF STUFF

yourusername: oh so now you want my food ....

landonorris: why are you ganging up on me ??? I'M JUST A CHILD ???

user10: i love watching oscar and y/n ganging up on lando

logansargeant

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 309,788 others

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logansargeant: category is: thirdwheeling - the food is a definite plus

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user12: the real best trio in f1 ... sorry 2019 rookies

alexalbon: logie bear beating the unseasoned allegations... i am impressed

logansargeant: i am cultured?

yourusername: logan had no choice, he was eating what i made him

logansargeant: but i liked it!

yourusername: you did, i'm a proud mother

alexalbon: what are the chances of me and james getting some of the y/n food, we deserve it more than mclaren

yourusername: name the price...

user13: i love how oscar and y/n have collected so many drivers this season despite being the youngest

oscarpiastri: not even finished my first season and we've accumulated so many "children"

logansargeant: don't have a gf who is such a good chef if you didn't want to babysit me

yourusername: we can't help it we're mOTHER

oscarpiastri: 💅

charles_leclerc: @oscarpiastri did our post podium dinner in aus mean nothing? you're neglecting your 26 year old child

maxverstappen1: classic treatment of the eldest girl 😔

yourusername: you guys done being dramatic?

charles_leclerc: one second

charles_leclerc: YOU'RE JUST THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, PICK ME UP AND DROP ME - USERS !!!!

charles_leclerc: okay done :)

oscarpiastri: ok... idk what the fuck is going on here

maxverstappen1: we want food [bangs cutlery on imaginary table]

user14: oscar going from being the shy one on the grid to wrangling charles and max is killing me

user15: him and y/n have the grid wrapped around their finger

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 730,844 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: this is everything you have ever deserved

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user18: i am going to throw myself on the track and let oscar run me over and put me out of my misery

oscarpiastri: i love you so much, couldn't do it without your support

yourusername: NUH UH you're SUPER DUPER AMAZINGLY FAST and i am lucky to be here to witness you :)

oscarpiastri: okay.... but no more passing out in the garage

yourusername: i'm just a girl 🎀

oscarpiastri: my girl x

yourusername: YOUR GIRL (i've seen the tiktok edits BACK OFF)

user19: the way the other team members and teams let them have their moment was so cute

user20: zak brown pushing her to the front to be able to see him on the podium... maybe i don't hate him as much as i thought

user21: her taking ten billion photos while crying her eyes out was so cute

yourusername: they're all blurry 🧍🏻‍♂️

maxverstappen1: i guess you're the only one i'll tolerate outshining my championship win... congrats oscar!

oscarpiastri: thank you max :) also thank you to gp for giving y/n an ice pack

yourusername: gp got his name on a piece of cake

maxverstappen1: what about my cake?

yourusername: i guess i can spare another slice for you

oscarpiastri: we can give you a whole cake tomorrow if you let me win tomorrow?

maxverstappen1: nice try dude

yourusername: you haven't tried it yet

oscarpiastri: it's laced with crack (literally, DQ coming fast)

maxverstappen1: ????

yourusername: we jest

oscarpiastri: or do we?

user22: is gp another person they've collected?

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 1,094,873 others

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oscarpiastri: no one else i'd rather celebrate with

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user23: they don't know it yet but they're actually my parents

user24: yeah, yeah oscar won a race woo BUT MAMA DROP THE RECIPE FOR THE THIRD SLIDE LOOKS LIKE IT BANGS

yourusername: i'm so unbelievably proud of you oscar, crying in the club right now

oscarpiastri: i didn't know the shower was also called the club (i can hear you crying and though i'm grateful you are this happy for me, it's getting slightly concerning)

yourusername: i just can't contain my excitement for you and it's turned into tears HAPPY TEARS

oscarpiastri: my mum can hear it from her room as well

yourusername: can't believe i'm being shamed like this

landonorris: will you cry this much for my first win

yourusername: nope, actively praying against it

landonorris: WHAT ??? OSCAR STOP HER SHE'S BEEN TOO MEAN THIS TIME

yourusername: i only want oscar to win every race from now until he retires soz buddy

oscarpiastri: idk that sounds like a good deal to me lando

landonorris: @yourusername i hope you drown in your tears

user25: well that escalated

danielricciardo: proud of you baby aussie !!! how can we get some aussie bbq in the paddock as celebration @yourusername 🤭

yourusername: someone get me a grill asap

danielricciardo: okay max it's time to stop being selfish, let oscar win another race so we can get more bbq i'm homesick

maxverstappen1: that's cute and all but FUCK THEM KIDS

yourusername: well no bbq for you then

maxverstappen1: you and oscar love me really

oscarpiastri: ???

user26: the way y/n tussles with these men kills me

user27: at this point get her a microphone and get her on that grid walk

mclarenf1

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,024,550 others

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mclarenf1: y/n delivered the pasta party she promised (admin is now in a food coma no more posts for the rest of the day)

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user28: the way we all thought this was a joke... i am now unwell

user29: dead ass the cutest thing i've ever seen

yourusername: thank you for having me besties, thank you for giving oscar a fast car and i hope you all actually make your flights in your pasta-induced naps

mclarenf1: that carbonara has me snoozing up a storm

oscarpiastri: (we nearly missed our flight)

landonorris: worth it, that pasta banged

yourusername: why thank you everyone i am blushing

yourusername: but real talk when does all this pasta translate into team orders in oscar's favour

mclarenf1: i don't think that's in my job description

landonorris: ...

oscarpiastri: well....

yourusername: you're making me look like a bad person 😭 i just want oscar to have the best possible time ever

oscarpiastri: i love you <3

landonorris: ugh... i guess that's cute

user30: i have never been more jealous ever in my life and it's over PASTA

georgerussell63: i am mobilising the GDPA against this. it's either pasta for ALL of us or NONE of us

yourusername: bring back seb you big wet wipe

georgerussell63: EXCUSE YOU!

charles_leclerc: i am an honourary italian and i am quite frankly offended i was not at least offered the left overs

oscarpiastri: but this was my special pasta party for my sprint win :(

georgerussell63: don't try and use that very cute and wholesome excuse with me mister, we have been robbed of pasta

yourusername: you queens are so dramatic i can't

user31: this sport is so unserious, they wouldn't protest over the conditions this weekend but pasta is where they draw the line 😭

yourusername

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tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: if you're at COTA come on down to my bbq station it's mr america (@logansargeant) approved

view all comments

user33: miss ma'am is really raising the bar for all wags at this point

user34: who else is doing up masterchef at the track

logansargeant: i can confirm it is very good

yourusername: i knew there was a reason we love you logie bear

logansargeant: the ribs were so good you should honestly get an american passport

user35: guys i went and omg IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD + y/n was so fucking nice and said all proceeds are going to helping disadvantaged children get into karting

user36: my heart is so full i love them

maxverstappen1: slowing me down by making me have bbq i see how it is

yourusername: no one forced you to eat it buddy

maxverstappen1: well it's steak and mac and cheese ur dumb if you think i'm NOT fucking it up

yourusername: you got me there

danielricciardo: that was scrummy

charles_leclerc: petition for this to be here every week

georgerussell63: this just makes me more angry about missing out on pasta

user37: oscar is so much stronger than me cause if i had y/n i'd be asking for an absolute feast all of the time and would not stick to my meal plan

oscarpiastri: my favourite person doing her favourite thing <3

yourusername: you're my favourite thing

landonorris: keep that to yourself

yourusername: i can't love my bf now?

landonorris: that man is a child keep it PG

oscarpiastri: you made it not PG

yourusername: stop forcing your agenda on us lando

landonorris: i can't win with you people

oscarpiastri

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oscarpiastri: first season done. proud. ready to eat like a king

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user38: i don't think i've ever barked in response to a picture of food

landonorris: where's mineeeeee :((((((((

oscarpiastri: season is over mate. y/n is back to being mine and mine only, we're hibernating in aus

landonorris: selfish

yourusername: let us eat our sushi in peace this off season

user39: oscar ready to keep y/n to himself what a king

oscarpiastri: tired of sharing my gf :( i know she's the bestest ever but still i was getting separation anxiety when she was stolen to make food for george

georgerussell63: no regrets

yourusername: you were always a king, but i'm ready to treat you like royalty

oscarpiastri: right back at you, queen

yourusername: all the food WE want all off season

maxverstappen1: okay guys we can hear you

charles_leclerc: this is no way to talk about your 27 year old children honestly

landonorris: i'm calling childline actually

yourusername: feel free girl, kiss my ass cause you won't see it for months

landonorris: GASP!

oscarpiastri: that's been brewing, stop asking y/n to make you chicken dippers bro

landonorris: :(

yourusername: regardless of all the tomfoolery and the stray cats (drivers) we've picked up, i'm so proud of you oscar - here's to an even better year next year

oscarpiastri: thank you, my love. couldn't do it without you. i love you.

yourusername: i love you too osc

fin.

note: heyyy?? yeah i've kinda gone missing in action. i am working on the last two WIPs but i am so busy and my writers block is so bad i had to revisit an old fave lol. hope yall enjoy !

[thefairylights]

Starting off Kinktober 2023 @vampirefest with a playlist! Sexy songs for sexy prompts of many types. No set ship so we vibe with every pairing. Whatever feels right, is right. ❤️🖤❤️

No more sunlight. The moon awaits us. ⚰️

Now, on to your knees to click that link, my companion heart.

31 tracks for 31 days.

one: mack loren/if i didn’t know better

I take my time and study your face

Thinking of a different place for it to be while you keep

One hand on my waist, you grip my thigh

Heart starts to race

Like you could taste what I'm tryna hide

two: zolita/holy

I can fight but the devil wins

And I will fall like a saint who sins

Forgive me Father, I am weak

And it's not forgiveness that I seek

three: the marias/hush

Don't think you've made it under my skin

Could never get in

Forget about it

Don't talk so much

Your tongue is burning up

I've had enough

four: elley duhe/middle of the night

These burning flames, these crashing waves

Wash over me like a hurricane

I'll captivate, you're hypnotized

Feel powerful, but it's me again

Come, lay me down

'Cause I know this

'Cause I know this sound

five: saint mesa/lion

You burn everything you see

Gold are your fingers

Leaving traces everywhere you go

Diamonds in your skin

My blood flows

six: chloe adams/dirty thoughts

I'm frustrated

Do you really look good naked

And I know that it ain't that holy

But Lord I need this one night only

The more that I push 'em away

The more that you're stuck in my brain

The more I mentally undress

I confess

seven: king mala/she calls me daddy

She's a little bit psycho

But she follows

When I call in the middle of the night

She's got you wrapped around her finger

You try to linger

But she's already on her way to mine

eight: hey violet/unholy

Say your name while our tongues are tied

Getting shivers all down my spine

We're in bed, we're embedded in my mind

nine: hozier/eat your young

I'm starving, darling

Let me put my lips to something

Let me wrap my teeth around the world

Start carving, darling

I wanna smell the dinner cooking

I wanna feel the edges start to burn

ten: chandler leighton/when you say my name

Does it scare you

That I already know what you're into?

You can say less, I bet I can guess

That'll you say whatever to get me undressed

Double dare you, tell me two lies

Don't need no truths

'Cause I can see right through you

You're no good at pretend

I'm using your tricks that you use with your friends

eleven: dezi/sinner

Lead us not into temptation

Your touch is feeling like salvation

If you're down for misbehaving

If you're liking this sensation

Pin me on your wall like an icon

And I pray that you leave the lights on

twelve: banks/fuck with myself

You're in the corner waiting for my love

I put two walls behind you just to lean on

Kinda need 'em 'cause I stood you up

'Cause I fuck with myself more than anybody else

thirteen: dove cameron/breakfast

I'm sick, yeah, I'm sick

And honestly, I'm getting high off it

Do you wanna see a magic trick?

'Cause you don't know what you don't know

But I know

fourteen: lana del rey/freak

Flames so hot that they turn blue

Palms reflecting in your eyes, like an endless summer

That's the way I feel for you

If time stood still I'd take this moment

Make it last forever

fifteen: ari abdul/taste

I'm begging you, untie this noose

Want your hands 'round my neck

I'm begging you, come be my muse

You're all that I have left

sixteen: ag/terrible thing

Oh honey, you're so cold

I lose my self-control

seventeen: jesse joe stark/fire of love

Your kiss rips through the shadows

Lipstick poisons this black rose

Haunted and torn from the heavens

You pull the petals from my mouth

They fall and tenderly black out

Baby, it's been so lonely

eighteen: zaryah/deep dive

Deep dive into my lips

Heat of your breath takes me into your abyss

Hold tight, I'll fulfil every need

Head up, you got me down on my knees

nineteen: lana del rey/gods & monsters

In the land of Gods and Monsters

I was an angel looking to get fucked hard

twenty: darren hayes/insatiable

Breathe in breathe out, there is no sound

We move together up and down

We levitate our bodies soar

Our feet don't even touch the floor

twenty-one: melanie martinez/high school sweethearts

If you can't handle a heart like mine

Don't waste your time with me

If you're not down to bleed, no, oh

If you can't handle the choking, the biting

The loving, the smothering

'Til you can't handle it no more, no more

Go home

twenty-two: ramsey/daddy

Baby, you're divine, I leave my body

Suckin' on your tongue, gold teeth, come find love

twenty-three: massive attack/paradise circus

Love is like a sin, my love

For the ones that feel it the most

Look at her with her eyes like a flame

She will love you like a fly will never love you again

twenty-four: aeseaes/desire

I'm an old

Desire

Sleeping in your skin

I'll take you over

And let you hide

And let you hide

twenty-five: natalia kills/problem

Sweat, dripping down your chest

Thinking 'bout your tattooed knuckles

On my thigh boy boy boy

Cold shower... you got no power to control

How I make you my toy toy toy

My hips rocking

As we keep lip locking

Got the neighbors screaming

Even louder louder

twenty-six: the pretty reckless/going to hell

Gettin' heavy with the devil, you can hear the wedding bells

twenty-seven: meg myers/desire

Baby, I wanna fuck you

I wanna feel you in my bones

Boy, I'm gonna love you

I'm gonna tear into your soul

twenty-eight: soap&skin/me and the devil

And I said hello Satan, ah

I believe it is time to go

Me and the devil walkin' side by side

twenty-nine: chymes/gity

You can trust in me, no, you don't have to hide

Have anything you want, just tell me what you like

Bring out the devil in you, it can't hide

I feel the fire trapped inside

thirty: banks/gimme

At the rock bottom baby crawl, crawl

I let you lick it from the ground, ground

'Cause I've been drippin' for your love, love

You can call me that bitch

thirty-one: nine inch nails/closer

I wanna fuck you like an animal

I wanna feel you from the inside

I wanna fuck you like an animal

My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to God

You just have to nod your beautiful head and say yes 🩸🩸🩸

[candm-brittany-2023]

Saturday 3rd June

Ooh. The weather is changing!

At last the forecast is showing light winds towards the end of next week. It’s been a bit of a worry. The unprecedented 4 weeks of persistent strong NE winds have trapped us in Southern Brittany, as going round the end of the peninsular, through the notorious Chenal du Four, into a strong head wind and large swell would not be doable for us.

Light at the end of the tunnel!😅

We had a lazy day today.

In the morning we walked the short distance to the market which is held on Saturdays. It was low tide.

You can see the shallows. Another reminder not to take shortcuts.

The market had lots of clothes stalls, a few veg stalls, a butchers, but thin on fish. Mind, this is a fishing town and there are several poisonneries.

We bought some pork and some globe artichokes and went to Les Halles to the fish stall there. We wanted a spider crab. They have a tank.

In France it is rare to find anything other than live crab. We have to choose a crab that will fit in our pot. Just over a kilo is our maximum.

We returned to the boat, cooked the crab, did a few maintenance bits and bobs and generally relaxed.

Later we went back to the laverie to look for a missing sock. It was there, on the side, dry! We walked along the quay by the fishing fleet.

Then we returned for our crab dinner.

Cooked for just 14 minutes, it was delicious.

Rant time.

I think I need to talk about this, as it’s been playing on my mind.

In Sainte-Marine there was a British yacht moored up behind us. It had a blue ensign.

Blue ensigns may be flown by members of certain clubs with Royal Warrants and merchant ships with officers that are RN Retired or Royal Research ships.

I suspect, in this case ,they were members of the Royal Southern Yacht Club in Hamble. My parents went for an interview to see if they were allowed join, but they found it too posh, even for them!

There’s this thing about yachties (certainly not all yachties) and motor boaters. Many old school yachties dislike motorboaters as some of them drive too close causing uncomfortable wash, they are noisy, and of course it’s not proper sailing. It’s almost a snobbery thing. In my book, if I have to have a motorboat to get on the water, then that’s what I’ll have. It’s still boating.

Anyway, the couple on board had walked past our boat with our red ensign flapping (denoting we were British) more than once and had not bothered with any type of acknowledgment. So, when we were going out and they were just returning to their boat, we spoke to them. It was obvious they felt uncomfortable.

They were from Hamble and kept their 45ft yacht in Mercury marina. We told them we were from Brixham and the woman asked if we kept our boat here in France. We said that we had come across the channel, and she replied ‘What?? You came across in that?’ looking towards our boat.

It may not be half a million pounds of boat, but it is our pride and joy.

Thankfully they are heading east so we are unlikely to bump in to them again. Arseholes.

[gigglemugger]

Transformations.

Fandom: Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat.

Pairing: Robert Van Helsing/Sandy White.

Synopsis: In which Sandy tells how she became a vampire in the first place. Sandy character study babey!

Part of a larger fanfic I got bits and pieces written for, in which I make this pairing sad :(

The original name was Apollon Emos: The Ballad of Robert and Sandy (like Daytripper, my other fanfic for a different fandom, I'm keeping a theme here) so when I post the entire work, if ever, I'll incorporate this into that OR change this into that. Not sure yet.

Word Count: 1,208 (v short).

AO3 Tags: Domestic Fluff, Character Study, Fluff and Angst. Nothing major, nothing explicit, they are in bed but they're about to go to sleep. No coffins cause people got curtains.

CW: Death. Stalking.

AO3 link.

Notes:

Ok, so, it’s already a habit of the writer to get silly little movies or worlds and write something extensively TOO DEEP for the source material, whatever you take for deep, etc. In this case, I took these characters and boy did I RUN with them. Like, can you even say they’re OOC if they have at most like 10 min of screen time? I don't think so. Anyway, yeah. The thing about this is that the plan was to do a whole character study of these two called Apollon Emos, in which I make this movie sad! It never materialized, but I have bits written, and I might still turn this into that (and make alterations). I'll decide it later. This is, in any case, a short excerpt of it. I'm on tumblr @gigglemugger. Tell me if you read this cause my God. It's the most obscure Fandom since the Evil Clergyman.

Robert asked Sandy about where she died. Sandy said it was a place far away from Purgatory, a church where she had gone to light a candle for herself.

She had been walking the halls of the little wooden place, incidentally the same as where she had been baptized, and she had been crying, because she felt it was the only place where crying was acceptable. At home, she was chipper. Here, she accepted that it felt like defeat to come back. He listened to her story patiently.

It happened right before the war was over, when having Veronica Lake hair was still fashionable. Sometime around nineteen forty… Three? Either way, she had the same sort of makeup that she wears everyday—Victory red lipstick, a little bit of eyeshadow for effect—but the clothes were a bit different. Looking back now, she knew that the church was a place where she wouldn't be looked down upon for it, as long as there weren't any faithful servants praying on the benches. To them, she'd probably look like a whore.

She remembered there was no wind, or overhead lights, or even a priest that she could talk to, but there was a row of candles.

"I looked at the saints and the figures for a while," she continued, thinking about it for the first time in a long while."I wanted to ask them why they didn't make me into an actress. I wanted to be one so bad, but Los Angeles was just horrible, and I just didn’t have what it took to live out there. I overworked, I auditioned. I did go to Paramount to try out for a small part as an extra, but I got beat and I think that was the last straw."

“Anyway, the saints didn’t answer, so I lit a candle and walked out. I was really religious back then, which is something I came back and forth on afterwards I guess… (here, she hugged her knees) Anyway, I looked around and the streets were empty, so the plan was to walk home to my parents. My mom was cooking dinner. I was a bit underdressed, so it was cold; I remember that for some reason; and there was this guy who was stalking me." Robert perked up, the yellow light of the lamp on their nightstand illuminating her blonde hair and his naked torso, the white satin sheets rippling around him.

"Stalking you?" Sandy nodded.

"Yeah, he had been doing that since I arrived. It wasn't the first time that I had been stalked," she admitted, and his jaw clenched almost imperceptibly to anyone else but Sandy, who was becoming really good at telling these things about Robert. She laughed it off, "It was 30 years ago, hardly anything to write home about now, but it worried me. I mean I was right to be worried, he turned me into a vampire. I don't think he meant to, though."

“Anyway, I kept walking, looking for a police officer, but there weren’t any, because my town was really small. Bigger than Purgatory, but definitely much smaller than L.A. I walked faster, but you know it was no use. He got me a little bit before I got home. When he was over, he left me on the sidewalk. I woke up in the morgue. I think everyone thought I was dead, so they called the police, which then zipped me up. No autopsy, so I knew it was just a few hours later because some of the films I auditioned for included noir crime movies and the scripts were always more brutal than the finished products. I remember I was terrified and hungry. I got up and I had to contend with the fact that not only was I not dead, I was also naked,” she laughed a sort of hysterical little laugh. “It was bad.”

“I got out discreetly, realized I could do that, you know, be sneaky in an inhuman way, which was shocking, and when I came home my mom screamed. It was awful. Not only that, I was religious because of them, so you can imagine the sort of names they called me, both of my parents. Demon was the nicest. And they smelled great too…” Sandy had a morbid sense of humor, but even she couldn’t deliver this joke well enough, so it fell limp between them. Robert just stated, so she continued. “I made it to my room, took my stuff and left. That was the last time I saw my parents, or that town.”

They were silent. She had almost forgotten where she was—in her bed, in her house, with her, for all intents and purposes, boyfriend of two weeks, far away from nineteen forty three?—when he spoke again.

"Do you ever fear he might turn up in Purgatory?"

"Oh, I don't have to fear that," she said, bubbly again. He glanced at her, enquiring with his eyes. "Don't worry, he's dead."

"How do you know?” She smiled a little humble smile, pointing at herself with both hands.

"I got him quick enough," she clarified when he looked confused. "I killed a few people… You know that already. I killed a lot of people.” He nodded. That made sense, of course, but she knew it wasn’t easy for him to completely accept it. He would never have to kill for food, after all. That sort of thing was in the past. “Anyway, this guy wasn't very good at hiding. He knew the police around where I was from was incompetent, and he kept killing there. I think he was the only vampire I killed up until… You know. When he saw I was alive, he even smiled a little, said it was nice I found my way back to him, like a pretty little prize. I think he said he followed me all the way from L.A., but I don’t remember, I was so mad I just killed him. It felt good. I didn’t wanna be a vampire. I didn’t think of myself as a demon, like my parents, or even Mardulak seemed to, but I definitely thought of myself as a monster. I tried to hold myself back from drinking blood for as long as I could, then I fell on eating criminals… What most of our kind does when they are sentimental, I suppose.”

"Yeah," Robert said and laid back down. There were a few things that he didn't yet understand about Sandy, but he was starting to get there. More than that, he knew that these things only made him like her more. Even through the killing? The bloodsucking? He thought, but said something else out loud, "Wasn't he older? Stronger?" She shrugged.

"He wasn’t that much older, maybe months? Also, I was a woman. He had his guard down." Robert nodded, and then smiled, cocky.

"Well, too bad,” he said, now moving up to put his arms around her, who laid her head on his chest gladly. “I'd love to have gotten him myself.”

"I'm sure," she answered with a smile, looking up at his face, observing it without the glasses. "Don't worry, though, I got it."

[abbadoabbadon]

I often talk about how my parents and older sister were definitely abusive to me, but I sometimes also think about how my three other siblings, my older sister, and my two little brothers, have been/are also being abused.

My older sister, as much as she's dead to me and I couldn't give any less of a shit about her than I currently do, she has been so conditioned and brainwashed into thinking my mother can do no wrong and that my father is a terrible person who abuses my mother. My sister also firmly believes that so many of my mother's issues are caused by me.

So much pressure was put on her to raise us in our parent's absences. She definitely has trauma and had to take care of the three of us other siblings when both of our parents were drunk and fighting constantly. She had to grow up way too soon and she didn't deserve it. It doesn't excuse how she treats me and how she has massive favoritism over our youngest sibling, but it explains a lot. I know that my mother has made up many lies about me and my sister sees me as nothing but an attention whore and, in her own words, I'm the most despised person in her entire life because of the fact that I'm trans. To her, Mommy Dearest is a saint, Daddy is an alcoholic nightmare, and "Oni" (us) is nothing but a spoiled brat and attention whore.

My mother and father are both abusive as hell and somehow my mother is worse than my father. My sister is also abusive towards both of my parents, and I'd often get an earful about it from my mother venting to me about it.

My two little brothers are 24 and 21 and they lock themselves in their room all day every day - if they're not at work - to play video games at their computer. They don't know how to clean anything that isn't their car, getting them to do even the bare minimum of unloading the dishwasher is like pulling teeth, and when we moved back in temporarily, the bathroom was so filthy that the tub was black. They avoid our parents like the plague because even they see that our parents are nothing but trouble and drama that they forcefully drag us into against our will.

My brothers are spoiled brats who don't pay bills, rent, for their own food - unless they go out to eat - and they don't clean. Our father makes dinner, they don't cook their own meals unless it's pizza rolls or hot pockets. This isn't really the fault of theirs, this is still abuse from my parents. Neglect. My parents have absolutely neglected the shit out of them to the point where they barely know how to take care of themselves. My 24 year old brother used to play baseball and wanted to be a professional player, but my mother ruined it from how much she embarrassed the hell out of him; he also wanted to be a famous chef like Gordon Ramsey, but he lost interest and never learned how to do anything because having my alcoholic father do anything is like asking for the world in your hand. My 21 year old brother was a basketball player and wanted to be a famous basketball player, but my mother also ruined that for him for the same reason; he also gets everything handed to him on a silver platter by my mother and sister, and they still call him "Baby Gage".

All of us have been abused. My brothers still live with my parents and there is definitely still abuse in that house towards them, even if it doesn't really seem like it because my brothers spend most of their time in their room. My sister lives in Maryland now and is married and has been since 2018-ish.

It's really sad and I wish I could help my brothers at least, but I know that there has been brainwashing in regards to me towards them by my manipulative mother, too. I was kicked out in July of 2023 and I don't know what they were told, but I know they both immediately left the house when I came home to pick up my things and they didn't say a single word to me.

I really feel for them. They're spoiled brats, but it's genuinely not their fault. They're growing up in an environment that doesn't want to teach them anything about how the world works and how to do anything. That's not really on them.

I hope one day they get out of it, and I hope one day we can regroup and have a relationship because I really do miss the fuck out of them and I want to see them thrive in life.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Fools in Love

Summary: He can explain how String Theory works. He can figure out Riemann Hypothesis. He can recite all the numbers of pi until he’s blue in the face. Yet somehow, Spencer Reid can’t figure out what to do for his first first anniversary. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader 

Warnings: Spencer Reid is a self-deprecating mf, Jane Austen quotes? But there’s a happy ending 

Word Count: 3128

Fools in Love

He scratches the back of neck, a nervous habit that he’s sure makes him look weak. He wants to find the perfect recipe to make a wonderful meal for Y/N. It’s his first first anniversary so Spencer’s completely lost as to what to do. Y/N deserves the most romantic dinner, especially considering how much chaos he causes. It must be a lot to put up with him, Spencer thinks. He’s even more useless when it comes to love than when it comes to cooking. While he might not be a fan of technology, given he has the Thai place down the street from his apartment on speed dial. She doesn’t deserve some take out Thai with paper plates. But he’s a scientist, a well-known and well-educated scientist who is completely failing at planning his first anniversary.

It was useless. Completely and utterly useless, Spencer thought to himself as he ran his fingers across the various titles of cookbooks. Some featured complex dishes from Korea and others were 30 minute meals of the vaguely Midwest variety. Spencer never in his entire 33 years of living felt so out of place in a library. He’s so at home in between the stacks of books, he finds the comforting words of long dead authors and intricate mathematical theories a second home. However, it seems that Spencer Reid has found the most intimidating section of the library: cooking.

And what do academics do when they are at a crossroad? Well, they call in the experts. The love expert came in the shape of Agent Derek Morgan himself. This idea just might be the most brilliant thought Spencer’s had or the dumbest, but Y/N is worth it. 

Okay, maybe it was a mistake to come to Derek, Spencer thinks as he sits in front of his friend, a coffee in his hand and an expression of pure fear on his face. 

“You want me to, what?” Spencer asks, shocked at Derek’s suggestive advice.  

“Lie in bed naked, call Y/N on the phone and make something up. You’ll be waiting in bed and then BAM! Anniversary sex,” Derek says, his eyebrows wagging as he sips his coffee. 

“Are you messing with me, Morgan?” Spencer says, his face pale from the very thought of lounging in bed naked, waiting for Y/N to come over to his apartment.

“Why not, I’m sure it would get you laid,” Derek reasons. Get me laid? Spencer and Y/N don’t get laid, he thinks. They do have sex, but it’s not getting laid. It’s more romantic and loving than just whatever Derek suggests. 

God, he can’t tell Derek that, he’d never live it down. 

“You have slept with Y/N, right?” Derek asks, suddenly nervous that he touched a nerve with his friend. As much as he likes to tease, Spencer knows that Derek doesn’t mean any harm, hence why he’s the first person he thought to come to. 

“We prefer to call it making love,” Spencer says, pretending to be very interested in his chocolate donut and trying to fight off the blush that rises to his cheeks. Even a year into their relationship, Spencer still gets butterflies at thinking about Y/N like that. 

“So you want this to be more romantic than just fucking, because you’ve done it for a year?” Derek proposes as simply as if he’s talking about a case. Not that talking about serial victims is anymore normal or weirder than the current conversation. 

“Morgan and you please stop talking about Y/N and sex in the same sentence?” Spencer says through gritted teeth. 

“Reid, kid. I’m just busting your chops, I know who you feel about Y/N. When you two are in the same room, it’s like there’s no one else in the world. And it’s kinda hard to get your mind to focus on one thing, but Y/N does that,” 

“I know,” Spencer says. “I can’t mess this up Derek. I can’t give another person a reason to leave me,” 

“Y/N won’t leave because you can’t plan a terrible anniversary dinner,” Derek says comfortingly. 

“I checked out 7 cookbooks, Morgan. 7, and I read them on the metro home. It’s useless, I’m useless,” Spencer laments.

He looks up to try to read Derek’s expression. The last thing he’d want to see on his face is pity or worse laughter. No, Spencer. Derek is your best friend. He’s the closest thing you have to a brother. Spencer feels almost guilty for thinking that Derek would laugh at him, while he might like to tease him, especially about his lovelife, they trust each other inexplicably. What’s written on Derek’s face is not pity or ridicule, it’s a smile. A smile not for Spencer, but for the colorful woman walking towards their table. 

“You told Garcia?” Spencer groans, but scooting over so Penelope would have a spot to sit with them. 

“Of course I told Garcia, kid. You know better than anyone that we can’t keep anything secret,” Derek explains, leaning in to kiss Garcia’s hand. 

“Spencer Reid! I can’t believe you,” Garcia says, smacking Spencer’s arm lightly. 

“Garcia!” Spencer shouts, clutching his coffee and hunching down in his seat to avoid being hit by the tech goddess with her hard rings on her surprisingly strong hands. 

“Don’t Garcia me, Reid. You need me, whether or not you realize it or not. I’m irreplaceable,” she tells him, grabbing a pink notebook and a fluffy green pen from her bag. 

Spencer nods in understanding, as much as he hates it, he knows that he needs help. It’s just a hard pill to swallow when help comes in the form of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia, perhaps the two people on Earth who are the most in love. 

“I know I need you guys,” Spencer says, looking from Garcia to Derek, half expecting them to tell him to order some terrifying sex toy from a scretchy store on the edge of town or something equally horrifying. 

“What’s something that she likes? You know like a special thing that Y/N would never think about getting herself” Garcia asks, making notes with the fluffy when that bounces as she writes. 

“She likes to read,” Spencer suggests, thinking about the first date that they had. They talked for hours about their favorite books and ended up getting booted from the library for overstaying their welcome. Y/N found it quite endearing that The Little Prince is Spencer’s while her is anything and everything by Jane Austen. He thinks back to her eyes gleamed when talking about the book, or how passionate she got when she argued that Mr Knightley and Emma were soulmates. 

“Okay, that’s a start Spencer. Really good,” Garcia says, trying to boost her friend’s confidence. 

“What else?” Derek asks, thinking about the times when he and Y/N hang out with Spencer and Penelope. 

“Fret not, Boy Wonder,” Garcia says, softly patting Spencer’s shoulder, “I’ll take care of this,” she finishes as she reaches into her bag, that seems to have a never ending bottom, and pulls out a laptop. 

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“So Garcia and Morgan took over your anniversary plans and basically just made it how they’d want to spend their anniversary?” JJ offers, as she hands Spencer a beer from her refrigerator and sits back down at her kitchen table. 

Spencer takes a swig of his beer and shrugs his shoulders, thinking about how wrong this whole anniversary dinner has gone. 

“I just wanted this to be special, JJ. I know it’s only been a year, but Y/N is it for me. God, she was it for me on the third date,” Spencer confesses. 

“I know, Spence. I’ve never seen you this happy. Happiness looks good on you,” JJ tells him. 

“Y/N makes me happy, she puts up with me, so the least I can do is make this perfect for her,” 

“Spence, don’t sell yourself short,” JJ says, “You’re a kind man and a wonderful boyfriend, you’re both lucky to have each other,” 

“Thank you, JJ, but Y/N is the better person in this relationship. That’s why this needs to be perfect,” Spencer explains, his self doubt still littering his mind. 

“What about a baseball game? You can pay for a message to pop up on the Jumbotron. Like Happy Anniversary, Y/N,” JJ suggests, and Spencer really can’t tell if JJ is joking. She can’t possibly think that Y/N and he would have a romantic anniversary with the threat of getting pelted in the face with a baseball. 

“Sports games are not our forte, JJ. I honestly can’t tell who’d hate sitting in the sun for hours with angry sports fans,” Spencer adds. 

“Okay so no sports, I should have figured, Spence,” JJ winks knowingly. “How about this, think about somewhere that’s special to you two. Somewhere that makes you think of her,” 

“The thing is JJ, everyplace we’ve been together makes me think of her. The elevator when she first kissed me, the movie theater we always go to on Saturday nights, even the sidewalk outside my apartment building. Everything makes me think of her because she’s my everything,” Spencer says, hiding his discomfort at the conversation. 

“Spence, I think that anything you plan, will be wonderful. Have a little trust in yourself for once, Y/N is already head over heels in love with you, so I doubt that she’d really care where you go or what you do,” JJ advises, clearing up the dirty dishes from their Friday night pizza dinner with the boys. 

“I’m going to go JJ, thanks for talking me out of my head. If I took Morgan’s advice, I’d probably end up with a restraining order,” Spencer jokes, putting his jacket on and saying goodbye to his friend. 

“You think you need an Uber?” JJ asks, but immediately finds amusement from Spencer’s disgust at the idea of getting into an Uber. 

“Germs and technology sound like a nightmare, JJ. And I’m not going to remind you of the statistics regarding missing persons and those rideshare apps-” Spencer offers, but is cut off by JJ’s pretend annoyance. 

“Remind me to send Y/N combat pay, you know maybe she is a saint for putting up with you,” JJ teases. 

He walks out into the chill of the night, recounting the advice his friends gave him. Derek and Penelope’s plan was a little outlandish, a little too much for Spencer and Y/N. JJ, who Spencer knows means well, only served to remind him of how hard it must be with him. His steps are slow and languid, but his mind anything but. 

One step, you’re probably just a charity case that Y/N decided to save. 

Two steps, why on Earth would a woman like her even look at a man like you.

Three steps, you’re so pathetic that you can’t even plan a dinner for her. She’s too good for Spencer, you’ll ruin her. 

Everyone who you love leaves you or dies, anyway.

It’s that thought, not the thought of being alone, but the thought that he deserves to be alone that sends the tears down his cheeks. 

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Somehow, someway, Spencer made it back to his apartment. It never felt so dark, so unlike home. Maybe he just didn’t never realized that these walls aren’t home without Y/N. He really should try to get to sleep, but he’d rather fend off sleep with the endless supply of coffee than have to face a night alone in the cold bed. 

Just as Spencer makes his way to prepare a cup of coffee, he hears a distant jiggle of keys and the door knob rattle. And in comes Y/N, as fresh as the cup of coffee brewing and as beautiful as ever. 

“Happy Anniversary, my love,” Y/N tells him, dropping the bags on the floor. She moves over to him like a light breeze. All he wants is to welcome her embrace. He wants to scoop her up and carry her far away from the monsters that lie in wake. He feels an urge to be her protector, but how can be her protector when what he really wants is to be protected. 

“Y/N, what are you doing here, it’s so late,” Spencer says, praying that his voice doesn’t let go. He knows it’s futile, one look from Y/N, her palm to his cheek or even worse a chaste kiss on his forehead, Spencer would not be able to think. What is a genius without his mind? 

“I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, Spence, I just missed you too much,” Y/N says, her voice a prayer that spins around in Spencer’s brain, searching for refuge in his heart. 

“You really missed me?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe her beyond belief. Y/N’s frown searches for an answer in Spencer’s distant expression. Even though they stand there with the kitchen light casting shadows touching as much skin as they can reach, Spencer is a million miles away.

“Of course I missed you, baby. And I just had to give you one of your gifts tonight. I just couldn’t wait to see your face,” Y/N says, practically bouncing as she bounds off to get the package for Spencer. 

“So this is only the first part, and stay with me, I know how much you hate technology, but I think you’ll make an excuse for this,” She tells him, handing him a heavy cube shaped package. It’s decorated in Y/N’s handwritten flowers and hearts, and a cute doodle of who Spencer can only assume is them. His girlfriend may not be artistic. But she’s the artist who paints the stars in Spencer’s night sky. She’s the tailor who sewed him back up when he was broken. She’s the architect who has the key and blueprint to his heart. 

Spencer opens the gift, his hands shaky and unsure. He’s terrified that Y/N can see right though him. He reveals the present. It’s a small wooden box with a red wooden heart that looks like it’s supposed to be pixelated. There’s a blank space on the top, that Spencer supposes is a screen.

“You gotta plug it in, Spence. So the messages can pop up. When you're far away from me saving the world, I can type a message from my phone and it’ll appear on your box,” she explains. Spencer looks up at her trying to search for what he did to get this lucky. 

“Thank you, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Spencer tells her, placing a kiss against her forehead. It’s the kind of kisses that tell you so much more. It’s the kind of kiss you give when you know there’s more where that one came from. It’s safe and warm and everything good about this world. 

“I gotta make sure you won’t forget me when you go traipsing all over the country. A hot genius like you only comes around so often. I’m sure you got loads of attractive people throwing themselves at you, Spence,” she says with a wink. 

“Hot genius?” Spencer repeats half dumbfounded and half joking. 

“Yup, I gotta make sure they know that you’re spoken for,” 

“I couldn’t forget you even if I tried, Y/N. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I still don’t know what I did to ever deserve you,” Spencer says, as the tears and the fears of not being good enough bubble to the surface. 

“Spencer, baby. You’re shaking. What’s the matter? Huh,” she says softly, brushing her hand over Spencer’s head in a comforting and loving gesture. 

Spencer leans into her, his head pressed into her neck. He can hear her heartbeat and he can smell her perfume. He wants to get lost in her. Get lost in the feeling of total and complete love. 

“I just wanted this to be perfect, Y/N. For you- you deserve so much more than I can give. It must be so hard dating me. I know that I’m difficult to love sometimes,” Spencer murmurs, his tears pouring down his cheeks and spilling like his darkest thoughts onto Y/N’s shirt. 

“Spencer, you make my life so much brighter. So much fuller. I know that you got a lot going on up in that mind of yours and it must be kinda scary. It must be hard always being the guy people expect answers from. But I got you, sweetheart. And I’m not letting go,” Y/N tells him the words falling from lips like a psalm and taking on a new life in Spencer’s heart. 

“Thank you, Y/N. I really wanted this to be the best anniversary. I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Spencer apologizes as he peppers light, feathery kisses along her collarbone and up to her eyes. 

“Well you’re my mess, Spencer. Let’s be honest, I’d be completely happy to spend our anniversary anywhere with you. Except maybe sports games, that sounds like torture for both of us,” Y/N laughs and Spencer can’t get over how she practically glows in the kitchen light. It could be that his mind is foggy with love, but Spencer hopes that he never grows out of this blissful feeling. 

“Well it’s a good thing we’ll have many more to make up for this one,” Spencer says, letting himself get dragged to the large fluffy sofa. 

“Oh no, Mister. The next 50 anniversaries have to try to top this one,” Y/N tells him and Spencer’s heart skips and flutters at the thought of having another 49 anniversaries with Y/N by his side. 

“I doubt that 50 will be enough, Y/N” 

“As long as you’ll allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you,” Y/N says, cuddling so close to Spencer that she can’t see where her limbs start and Spencer’s end. 

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more,” Spencer says running his spidery fingers down Y/N’s side much to her delight. 

“Ooh are you trying out some Jane Austen foreplay? Because that’s the way to make my panties drop,” Y/N says suggestively as she rubs her hand over Spencer’s chest and rests it on his neck. 

“Maybe tomorrow, I just really want to hold you close right now, Y/N.” Spencer says, sweetly kissing along her temple exciting a bout of giggles from the two of them. 

Spencer very well might be useless when it comes to love, but he was eager to learn that he’s worthy of love from his love expert. 

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song drabbles

Seokjin’s chapter ix 

kim seokjin x reader warnings; angst, this feels pretty heavy at certain points but gets lighter as you go on, there’s a therapy session included, and just a lot of introspection  words; 7,459

author’s note; this kind of ran away with me, wasn’t expecting it to be so long haha but I hope you enjoy! 

Read the original chapter ix here 

↪︎ read the series here / and drabbles here

After you left Seokjin immediately poured the rest of his whisky down the sink and rinsed his glass. His mind was whirring, head heavy and starting to throb. He swallowed two painkillers down with some water and took a deep breath. He felt like crying. It felt like everything was crumbling around him. All his recent happiness, all his progress, and now possibly it seemed, his relationship with you… 

He’d wanted nothing more than to beg you to stay, and he had to an extent, but he knew it wasn’t right. He closed his eyes, not quite believing you’d witnessed all that. You probably thought he was a monster. He hadn’t lost his temper quite like that in a while, not since before the divorce… Embarrassment washed over him, yet he couldn’t stop himself from still being mad at Nana. He knew what you said made sense. He knew he’d been out of line but Nana continuously goaded him. She’d done so throughout their marriage. But he was no saint, he knew how to provoke her too. It’s what they did best. 

He moved away from the sink and tried to quash his anger, instead thinking of you and how much he had hurt and upset you. He hadn’t meant for it to get that bad, and he knew deep down that the reason he was so angry was because he’d brought it all on himself. He caused the incident by keeping his relationship with you secret. It hadn’t been on purpose, he wasn’t being vindictive, if anyone would believe him. He just… He had been selfish. He didn’t want to ruin anything because he was finally really happy after god knows how long. It was stupid in hindsight, but what was done was done now. 

He reached for Arin’s mug of hot chocolate and fresh waves of guilt and emotion hit him. She didn’t deserve any of this. He needed to be there for her, to push his own troubles away and put on a brave face because none of this was her fault. She needed to know that. Thankfully, the drink hadn’t grown cold yet, and he finished it off with some cream and mini marshmallows. He took one last deep breath and made his way down the hallway. Moping was no good for him. That’s what Chaewon always said. 

Arin looked happy to see him, instantly reaching out to him as he took a seat next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. He immediately felt lighter with relief. His daughter had always been his magical cure, and even though a cuddle wouldn’t make everything in his life right again, it certainly helped, and was very much needed. She asked where you were at one point, and unsure what to say, and feeling like shit for lying, he quickly said you needed to be somewhere. Arin probably didn’t buy it, looking dubious as a result of today, bus she didn’t say anything, asking instead if they could watch a movie. 

She wasn’t very talkative, and he didn’t blame her. Neither was he. He spent most of Shrek the Third lost in his own thoughts. As his anger slowly drifted away, shame replaced it. He’d been absolutely awful today and even if some of the things he’d said to Nana came from a valid place of concern, most were shouted for no reason other than frustration and hatred on his part. He was ashamed of himself. 

After the movie finished, Arin complained she was feeling hungry, so he left her to pick a new movie while he found something to cook up for dinner. He caught sight of the bowl of salad and his heart sunk, remembering the picnic outside. There was no salvaging it now, everything had probably spoiled in the sun, and as he waited for Arin’s dinner to cook, he went outside with a garbage bag, throwing away all the food you’d painstakingly prepared. It felt like he was throwing your relationship in the trash. He didn’t eat with that thought in mind, managing one piece of toast before it turned on him. 

At around 6pm his phone started to ring, vibrating in his front pocket and giving him a shock. For a split second he prayed it was you, but he knew he was being foolish. You needed time and if he was being honest with himself, so did he. He needed to concentrate on Arin tonight, as much as he…loved…you, his daughter’s wellbeing was the most important thing. If he could just make sure Arin was okay, then tomorrow he could concentrate on you and him. 

Pulling out the device he saw it was Nana. He suddenly felt very, very sick but picked up with a cautious hello. He was almost 100% sure she wanted to speak with Arin, the only way she could seeing as Arin was too young to have a phone of her own, but he was still wary, not wanting a repeat of earlier. 

“I want to speak to my daughter.” There was anger to her tone, and he knew her well enough to understand she had her guard up right now. She’d left his place upset and emotional, and that was two of the things she hated people seeing. Especially him. She hated being vulnerable. 

Seokjin sighed weakly. “Nana, come on, don’t be like that.” He hesitated, wanting to say sorry for today but the word wouldn’t come. Despite the guilt setting in, he was still pretty angry and frustrated himself. 

“I want to speak with Arin,” she repeated. “Will you let me?”

“Of course I will,” he replied. What did she take him for? 

He turned to Arin, ready to tell her it was her mom on the phone, but she was already waiting, her ears probably catching Nana’s name a few seconds previous. He smiled gently at her and passed his cell phone over. He tried to concentrate on the television as they spoke, not wanting to eavesdrop. Arin was uncharacteristically quiet as she hummed along to whatever Nana was saying, the occasional okay and I know slipping from her lips as she curled a lock of hair around her finger over and over again, but he understood why. Today had been overwhelming for everyone involved but especially her. She hadn’t seen or heard them argue in a long time, both he and Nana careful to hide them from her as of late. Today had been an awful mistake and the now a stronger wave of guilt was eating him up. 

After a few minutes he heard Arin tell her mother she loved her and then she hung up, returning the phone to Seokjin. He stretched over and placed the device on the coffee table, turning back to his daughter apologetically.   “I’m sorry about today, Arin.” 

She immediately flung herself into his arms, wrapping hers around his sides to hug him tight. He squeezed her right back, running his fingers through her hair gently. “Daddy was really angry, I shouldn’t have shouted.” 

“Mommy shouted too,” she reminded him. “She was angry that I called Y/N my stepmom.” Hesitantly she looked up at him, her eyes wide with worry. “I didn’t know it was wrong.” 

Seokjin sighed gently, trying to see things from Nana’s point of view. “It’s not a wrong word. It’s just a word that hurt your mother’s feelings.”  Arin looked a little confused by that explanation, and suddenly Seokjin felt the urge to be as honest as he could with her. She was still young, yes, but she wasn’t stupid. Far from it actually. She deserved not to be kept in the dark. 

“She… she didn’t know that Y/N is my girlfriend.” 

“Why?”

“I was wrong and didn’t tell her.”

Arin stayed silent as she mulled his words over. After a few moments she simply said, “I didn’t know that.” 

Seokjin ran a hand down her back, choosing his next words carefully. “Will you tell me what happened today? How mommy found out?”

Arin wriggled away from him to get comfier, sitting back against the sofa again. Seokjin copied, lifting his arm up so she could cuddle up to him. “She asked if I had a new bracelet and I told her Y/N had bought it for me last weekend when I stayed with her.” 

Looking down at her wrist now, Seokjin saw no bracelet and he guessed Arin had taken it off in a bid not to hurt her mom even more. She was such a sweet child, always thinking of other people’s feelings. 

“Mommy asked who she was and I said she was my stepmom – only because Suzie told me that’s what she is. Suzie has one too and it was fun because then we both had stepmoms.” 

Seokjin nodded along in understanding. “It’s okay, it was only a misunderstanding. But to use that word it needs to be discussed first, okay?” 

It was Arin’s turn to nod and Seokjin continued carefully. He was well aware everything was up in the air now so it hurt hearing the words that came out of his own month. “Right now Y/N is just Y/N. Before we use that word we have to make sure she likes it, alright? And mommy too.” 

“I didn’t know.” 

“I know you didn’t,” he comforted, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He wasn’t even too sure she knew what exactly the word meant. 

They both stayed silent for a little while before Arin spoke again. “You and mommy haven’t argued for a long time until today…because I said that word…”

“Hey,” Seokjin exclaimed softly wanting her to look his way. “We didn’t argue because of you. None of this is your fault, okay? It’s my fault and I’m really sorry.” 

She gave him a small smile and patted his head. “It’s okay, daddy. I still love you.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. He could always count on his daughter to cheer him up. “Thank you, Arin.” He kissed her cheek. “I love you too. Very much.” 

The new week started off badly. He had been foolish to think Mondays were something of a fresh start, foolish to think calling you first thing in the morning was a good idea, and as you told him you needed some space and that you’d call him once the week was over he couldn’t help but think the worst. You’d insisted that you weren’t mad at him, and you had no reason to lie to him, but there was no doubt you were upset… overwhelmed. That morning he’d woken up even more ashamed of the way he’d acted the day before, wincing as he remembered the way he’d lost his temper. He’d sworn that he would never let that side of himself appear ever again, but it was easier said than done. Nana had struck a nerve with the way she had spoken to you and it had been impossible to keep his cool. 

He felt deeply ashamed when he thought about how confused you must have felt watching he and his ex-wife hurl abuse at each other. Deeply ashamed when he thought about the way you’d found out things he had never told you… You were hurt he’d never let you know what triggered his divorce, and he understood why completely. It wasn’t like it hadn’t crossed his mind to share such a personal detail with you, it had, of course it had, he just couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Your experience with infidelity was the complete opposite of his. You had your heart torn to pieces by your ex-fiancé and he had his ego bruised… His marriage with Nana had already been completely over, he just didn’t have the guts to get out. She was correct, he was a coward through and through. 

But most of all he was deeply ashamed of his behaviour entirely. He had never meant to compare the both of you. He had never meant to use you to hurt Nana. It was extremely petty, such a low blow, and he didn’t know where it had come from. Rage had washed over him and he’d spat words that he couldn’t take back. It was the worst thing he’d ever done in his entire life, and despite the grievances he had with Nana, he regretted those words deeply. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her like that. It was shameful, and he felt horrendous for hurting both women with his foolish behaviour. 

Was there a happy ending after this? If Nana didn’t already hate him, she did now, and you were probably not too far behind. You’d seen him at his most poisonous, heard him use you to prove a point, found out things he’d kept from you, and learned he’d kept you a secret from his ex-wife. How embarrassed you must have felt… How confused… He’d made so many mistakes along the way, it was a wonder they hadn’t caught up with him sooner… 

He wouldn’t be able to bear it if you wound up hating him. Not when he loved you so much. He hadn’t even had a chance to confess yet, coming so close to it Saturday night but backing out because he was scared it was too soon. He’d made the decision there and then to tell you once he took you to Paris, getting swept away with the idea and the romance of it all, but now the regret for not professing his love that night was like a lead weight inside his chest. Would it have changed anything? Would yesterday have had a different outcome? 

And while he was regretting things, he regretted not letting Nana know about the relationship. Yesterday could have been avoided completely – maybe. 

The more he thought, the worse it got and by Tuesday he could feel himself spiralling. He knew the feeling all too well. Soobin had already worked out something was the matter. (His lack of morning shave a dead giveaway.) And that meant he was doing a terrible job at hiding his mood. He couldn’t have Arin sensing the same. She obviously hadn’t forgotten about the weekend and wouldn’t anytime soon, but he couldn’t make it worse for her. He needed to be there for her, as her father, not too busy distracted with his own misery. It was selfish. 

But he couldn’t suppress it all. He knew that was unhealthy. So, Tuesday night, once Arin was tucked up in bed sound asleep, he called the one person his former happiness had been neglecting for months now… 

“Seokjin,” Chaewon greeted, her warm voice laced with surprise. “Long time no speak.” 

He felt guilt immediately wash over him. “Yeah… I’m sorry about that.” It was stupid really, she wasn’t taking it personally, he could guarantee that, but nevertheless it was an emotion he was all too familiar with these days. 

Chaewon chuckled. “Don’t apologise for being happy and not needing me.” 

His heart twisted. 

She sensed his trouble. “Jin?”

He hesitated, looking down at the bottle of whisky sat at his desk. He was in his home office. “Something happened.” 

There was silence as his therapist processed his vague words before she pressed him gently, “Oh?” 

He took a breath. “Are you free to talk?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

“I’m sorry for calling you out of hours.” He apologised. “Don’t feel bad about billing me for this. I’ll even pay double.” 

“Seokjin, don’t be silly,” she told him softly.  “Let’s name this a friendship call. Now, what’s wrong?” She sensed the last bit of reluctance he was holding onto. “Come on, you can tell me anything.” 

He sighed. “I don’t know where to start.” 

“How about from the beginning?”

They spoke for an hour in the end, Chaewon listening attentively as he explained the weekend’s events. He left nothing out, or least what he could remember. He made no attempt to hide his wrongdoings or soften the story. He didn’t want to. He knew he had done wrong. She was sympathetic, but she didn’t mince her words when it came to her disappoint in him. 

After the argument he and Nana had gotten into just before Arin had moved in with him, he had worked hard with Chaewon to find a way to curb the anger he often felt when he and his ex-wife communicated. He thought he had been successful, but now he realised all he’d done was find ways to avoid it. He barely spoke to Nana unless he had to, a hello barely exchanged when she called in the evenings to speak to their daughter. A text shared to confirm when Arin would get picked up for the weekend, or one shared to cancel visits… He saw her even less. Jia, Nana’s PA and closest friend was the one who collected their daughter, and he knew it was because his ex-wife wanted to avoid him just as much. 

In the long term they had just been making things worse. That’s why last Sunday had been so bad. A build-up of every single frustration felt since the last time they’d seen one another, because no doubt Nana had her own list. It was a recipe for disaster. 

It felt good to confide in someone though, someone who knew him very well on a professional and personal level. Chaewon was amazing at putting him in his place so kindly. It was a gift really, and he appreciated it immensely. The older woman saw his negative traits but never judged him. She understood them and tried her best to help him with them. He guessed that was her job, but she did it so well it was hard not to see her as some sort of friend. 

That’s why when she asked to see him in person tomorrow he didn’t hesitate to free up his schedule. Truth was, he wanted it too. His mind was still clouded and he needed her insight. Her advice. He wanted a good night sleep too but he didn’t think that would be possible any time soon, no matter how much Chaewon tried to help him. Not when his sheets continued to smell like you…   

.

.

“It’s about time you both let go of the past.” 

Seokjin let Chaewon’s words sink in as he sat opposite her, nervously chewing on a nail. It wasn’t a habit of his, but it was somewhat of a distraction right now. A comfort. They should have let go of the past a long time ago. Maybe then they would have divorced sooner. Maybe then there would be less resentment…. 

“Arin is the one thing you have in common and you need to work together in order to be the best possible parents you can.” 

That cut his heart deep, a twinge similar to what he’d felt all week. Ever since you left. “I know,” he replied quietly. “It’s just…”

He couldn’t continue. Despite how he’d insinuated Nana was a bad mother, he didn’t think that deep down. They both loved their daughter equally, but that love was separate. It had been separate practically since she was born. Arin was missing their combined love, although she knew no different… 

“You need to let go of all that bitterness and resentment.” Chaewon continued. Words she had said fairly regularly for the last two years or so. “For your sake, for Arin’s…” But now there was a new addition. “…and Y/N’s.” 

Seokjin snorted. “Who said I haven’t scared her away already?”

Chaewon stare turned a little stern. “It was a shock to the system, anyone would need some time to process what happened.” When he stayed silent, she continued. “You have to make her see you’re trying your best to change things. You need to take responsibility for your actions.” 

“I will.” 

He wanted nothing more than to apologise profusely and answer any questions you had, but you’d requested time first and he was listening. He was just scared that time would work against him. He continued on, ignoring his deepest, darkest worry. 

“It’s not fair on her. She should never have witnessed all that, and it just drums in how unfair this has been to Arin her whole life.” Arin had been the witness to many an argument when he and Nana were still married. “I hurt the people closet to me because of my careless actions,” he concluded with a sad smile. Time after time. 

“And it’s not too late to change that,” Chaewon reminded. “Put a stop to all this nonsense.” 

Seokjin’s smile grew for a millisecond, feeling like a child getting told off. 

“Your marriage with Nana didn’t work out, that’s life. But you have a beautiful little girl together. That’s the most important thing, and it goes hand in hand with your own happiness.” She paused and then continued. “It’s very obvious that Y/N brings a great deal of that to the table.”

Yes, you did make him deliriously happy. He felt young again when he was with you. He felt invincible. Loved. He felt loved. 

“Concentrate on both of them – Arin and Y/N – and make some changes. Talk to Nana – civilly. Make this work and you can all be happy. I promise you that.” 

He had never heard Chaewon like this before, she was practically pleading with him. He let out a little laugh. “You make it sound so simple.” 

She simply smiled at him. “If you’re determined enough, it is.” 

.

.

“Mom wants to talk to you.” 

Seokjin looked at his phone outstretched in Arin’s hand with slight confusion. For the past four nights, ever since Sunday, Nana had spoken with Arin just before she had to get ready for bed. It was routine now, another avoidance, he exchanged a hello with her and then passed the phone on. Her tone less defensive as the days went on. Tonight had been the same despite his session with Chaewon this lunchtime. But to his surprise, maybe Nana was making the first move. 

He took the phone from Arin with a smile, not wanting to make her nervous. Usually he left her alone to speak to her mother, not wanting to pry or insert himself but tonight he was sat next to her on the sofa, replying to emails on his laptop. He hadn’t been listening at all, too engrossed with finalising details for an upcoming project, so of course it had come as a shock to find Arin passing the phone to him. 

“Hello?”

“I was just wondering if I could have Arin this weekend.” Nana totally bypassed a greeting of any kind, but she wasn’t demanding in her tone, nor defensive, it was just the way she was. She’d always been straight to the point, no time for pleasantries, and many years ago, when they’d first met, he’d found it highly amusing. 

“Um, of course,” he replied, taken back a little. He would be more than happy for her to have Arin. It wasn’t her weekend, but that had never bothered him before. He wanted Arin to see her as much as possible. It was only fair seeing as their daughter now lived with him. 

There was a brief silence before Nana spoke again. Had she been expecting him to say no? Surely not. But then again, after last weekend maybe her worries were valid. She found her bearings. “What time does she finish school? I’m taking Friday out, I’ll drive down and collect her.” 

Seokjin couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. Nana had not once collected Arin herself. “She finishes at 3.”

Nana hesitated, “Do you think they’d let her finish early?” 

“I don’t know… It’s usually only emergencies –”

“Never mind,” she stopped him. “There was just a bunch of things I’d planned, thought we could get a head start, it’s fine.” 

He glanced over at Arin who was watching him hopefully. It was obvious what their phone call had entailed. They’d been making plans for the weekend and Arin was visibly excited. He smiled at her. 

“I could always phone the school tomorrow,” he suggested to Nana. “See if it’s possible. Maybe she could skip the whole day?” 

Nana sounded ecstatic. Something he hadn’t heard in years. “Really? Do you think there’s a chance they’d say yes?”

He shrugged to himself. “It’s just one day, I don’t see why not.” 

Nana was busy thinking. “Maybe I could take tomorrow afternoon away from the office too… Pick her up at 3.” 

It was his turn to hesitate now, opening his mouth ready to suggest something. He knew he owed his ex-wife an apology, but over the phone just wouldn’t do. He needed to see her. He went for it. “Or I could do it for you? I can drive her to you.” 

“You would do that?” She sounded shocked. 

“If she’s allowed to miss a day then yes.” 

“Oh.” It wasn’t often Nana was left speechless. “Okay,” she agreed after a moment. “That would be great actually.” 

His attention went back to Arin then, who was practically vibrating with excitement next to him. His replies hadn’t given away much, but it was enough to tell her she’d be seeing her mother this weekend – and possibly skipping a day of school. He grinned at her and she clung to his arm. 

“Can I say bye to mom?” 

“In a minute, Arin,” he chuckled, amused by her eagerness. “We’re not done yet.” His next sentence was directed at Nana. “I’ll text you tomorrow morning and let you know what the principal said.” 

For the first time in god knows how long there was no malice or sarcasm attached to her gratitude. “Thank you, Seokjin.” 

He took it as a positive sign. Things were changing. They would change. 

The next day he dropped Arin off at school himself. The plan had been to head to reception and ask if he could talk with Principal Jung in person, but after saying his goodbyes and watching Arin meet up with some friends in the playground he began to get second thoughts. What if he accidentally bumped into you? He was on pins even in the parking lot. He wanted to give you all the space necessary and the last thing you probably wanted to see was him walking towards you in the corridor. At work. 

No, instead he drove to his office, phoning the principal as soon as he’d finished up his morning meeting. Hoseok – as he’d been told to call him – was completely understanding. Seokjin didn’t even have to whip out the sob story about Arin missing her mom dearly. Dirty tactics were always the last resort, and he could talk a good game, but thankfully his skill wasn’t needed today. Arin was all set to go this evening. 

The drive wasn’t a long one thankfully, just under an hour as Nana lived in the neighbouring city. This wasn’t the first time he’d been to Nana’s penthouse, the place she’d bought after they’d sold their family home, but the last time had been pretty explosive. Not nearly as bad as last weekend, but close. Arin had thankfully been waiting in the car for him that time, as he and her mother argued over where she should live permanently.  

Seokjin stood beside Arin in the elevator, feeling nervous for the conversation he wanted to have. He was never above apologising when he was in the wrong, but with his ex-wife saying sorry had never come easily. It was childish and he knew he needed to change, so today was the perfect test. If he wanted a clean slate he had to be as honest as possible. 

“Mommyyy,” Arin squealed as she opened the door to greet them, barrelling into her practically. 

Seokjin stood back as they hugged, a soft smile on his face. 

“Arin, I missed you,” Nana informed her, breaking away to take her bag. As she did so, she glanced at Seokjin, then back at their daughter. “Listen, darling, go to your room for a little while so I can speak to daddy.” 

Seokjin felt a little relieved. At least they were on the same page – potentially. 

Arin though, was unsure, looking between her parents as she spoke. “I don’t want to. What if you argue again?”

He felt his heart break at her words. “We won’t, sweetie,” he reassured, bending down to look her in the eyes. “I promise.” 

She still looked dubious, but then Nana took over, her voice light and breezy.  “We won’t be long, okay? Think about what pizza you want to order for dinner.” 

Arin’s eyes lit up at that request and Seokjin couldn’t help but chuckle. That pizza obsession of hers was getting dangerous. “Okay,” she agreed easily, waving to him before she skipped off to the furthest part of the apartment. 

Seokjin watched her leave before rising up again, tugging down the ends of his jacket. Nana was looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face, but he knew it wasn’t anger she was feeling, so that was a plus. He thought back to Sunday, how mad they had both been, how upset Nana had looked as she’d rushed off. The guilt came back. 

He exhaled. He might as well just bite the bullet. “I’m sorry for calling you a terrible mother. I didn’t mean it.” 

Nana stayed silent but her arms wrapped around herself. It was such a vulnerable action, it took him by surprise. 

He continued. “I was just frustrated. I let things build up and exploded.” 

She stared him straight in the eyes, shoulders sagging a little but her voice was strong. “You know I love our daughter half to death.”

“I do,” he agreed. “I don’t doubt that.” 

She look relieved. It made him feel oddly sad. He had never wanted to make her doubt herself as a mother. He was a piece of shit. 

Still, she needed to understand some things. His point of view and where he was coming from. His frustrations weren’t all for nothing. They were valid. “But you have to understand I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces when you end up cancelling on her. It takes its toll.” 

Nana’s gaze flickered to the floor as she whispered. “I’m trying to be better.” Then she looked up again, her voice stronger. “I’m trying to free my weekends up. I’m trying not to do as much. I thought maybe I could even have her for an evening every weekday? I could pick her up from school, take her out for dinner. I know it’s a distance but maybe I could get every Wednesday afternoon away from work... Hopefully.” 

Seokjin was impressed. Nana lived and breathed work so to hear she was thinking about possibly taking an afternoon away every week was… It made him very happy. “She’d love that,” he grinned genuinely. “She misses you a lot.” 

Nana couldn’t help but smile too. “I miss her always.” With a slight chuckle she continued, “This apartment is so quiet without her.”

Seokjin looked down at his feet and grimaced slightly. He knew that feeling all too well. Living without Arin had been close to torture after the divorce. Everything felt so silent, the house gigantic and lonely. He hated the thought of Nana feeling the same way. “You can see her any time, Nana,” he murmured. “I’ll never try to stop you.” 

Despite everything, their grievances toward one another, they had and would always co-parent well. Arin was their number one priority and she needed both parents in her life. 

“I know that,” Nana nodded, “and I’d never try to take her from you.” 

It didn’t bear to think about, but he had to admit, sometimes it was easy for irrational thoughts to creep in when someone was left feeling insecure. 

“She loves living with you. She’s really settled at her new school, she never stops talking about her friends.” Nana continued, making small talk of sorts. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d done this. “She’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her.” 

Seokjin nodded in agreement. She loved her new school, her new friends – her new life, you could say. That was easy to see. 

Nana cleared her throat, dropping her arms to her sides. “I apologise too. I was out of line turning up at your door like that. I was just so mad... so hurt.” She took a few seconds. “I wish you’d just told me.” 

“I should have.” She was absolutely right. “I see that now and I regret it. It was wrong of me to keep my new relationship from you. I wasn’t doing it to be vindictive. I just...” he stopped himself. Even though they weren’t excuses, they felt like they were. His reasons didn’t matter.

“You should have been the first to know because of Arin. If I was in your shoes, if it was the other way around, I would have been angry too.” He stopped and sighed at his stupidity. “I never meant to hurt you, neither did Y/N. She actually had no clue you didn’t know until that day.” 

Nana’s eyes widened with shock, before she looked regretful. “Yeah, that one makes me feel even guiltier. I shouldn’t have spoken to her the way I did. It was a shock to hear Arin speaking about a stranger like that. A stranger I had no clue existed.” 

Seokjin appreciated her apology, but he needed to make sure she understood something. “Yeah, about that, Arin really has never called Y/N her stepmom. We’ve only been together for a few months. I spoke to her about it and Arin understands that’s not the case. It was just kids being kids.” 

Nana nodded. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle, and I should have listened to your explanation the first time around.” 

He held her gaze. “I’m not trying to replace you, Nana.” 

If that’s what she was worried about, it wasn’t the case. He had never meant to compare the two women and he regretted it deeply. 

Nana’s lips quirked up at the side, her voice relaxed and at ease. “But eventually Arin will call her that.” 

His eyebrows shot up, understanding what she was getting at. “I don’t know,” he shook his head. His relationship with you was up in the air right now. He’d made one too many mistakes. 

Nana brushed him off with sway of her hand. “I guess I’ll learn to deal with it when the time comes.” 

He admitted defeat. “And I’ll have to do the same.” 

It was inevitable really. One day Arin would probably have two blended families and while he really wanted his to be with you, he didn’t want to get his hopes up right now. 

Nana snorted. “Fat chance of that happening. I don’t have time to fall in love again.” 

He stayed silent, unsure what to say. He’d thought the same once upon a time. Until you walked straight into his life. (Or, more fittingly, until he’d reversed straight into yours.) Everyone deserved love in their life and he hoped that one day his ex-wife would find it again. 

She was looking over at him sadly now, eyes softening, and it was almost jarring to see her show this much emotion in front of him. “I did love you, you know,” she murmured before laughing quietly at herself. “I felt like I never told you enough, but in the beginning it was good, right?” 

“It was.” Seokjin hated getting nostalgic, in fact, he actively avoided it, but in this moment he let himself go. Ten years ago, he and Nana had fallen hard for one another. It was fast and exhilarating but – “We just…” 

“Rushed into things that weren’t meant to be?” She finished for him. 

He’d been so eager to marry before he was thirty, to follow in his parents’ footsteps. He wanted, no, needed, to become CEO.  He needed to build something he could be proud of, and having a family fit into that logic. He’d had tunnel vision, but it wasn’t all bad. 

“I can’t regret it though,” he told Nana softly, “because we made Arin.” 

“At least we agree on one thing,” she chuckled. 

“Yeah,” he smiled. 

It was strange speaking like this with one another. He couldn’t even think of the last time something similar had happened. They were always too busy at one another’s throats, not listening to what the other had to say. Now all that fight had gone. They were both exhausted from years of bitterness. Years of fighting. 

He didn’t want to fight anymore. 

Nana seemed to think the same. 

“I’m ashamed she had to hear us fight like that,” she said. “I apologised on the phone but…” 

“She’s okay.” He reassured. “I think she still thinks it’s her fault a little though. I’ve tried telling her it wasn’t repeatedly.” 

“I’ll talk to her over dinner.” 

“Good idea.” 

There was a pregnant pause before Nana chuckled. “This is the first time we’ve spoken so civilly in a long time.” She hesitated, wanting to say something else. He waited patiently, curious. “Maybe we should think about talking it out with a professional?” 

He raised his eyebrows. It wasn’t a bad idea actually, but then… thing seemed to be working out well on their own right now. “Maybe we should see how things go first? Now that we know how one another feels.” They weren’t out of the dark yet, but it was looking hopeful. “But if you think it will help then I won’t refuse,” he added, wanting to show how seriously he was taking this. 

She smiled slightly. “Okay, we’ll see how things go.” 

It seemed like the conversation had run its course then, and Seokjin shuffled, about to suggest he head out now, but Nana spoke again. “Are you okay?” She asked. “No offence, but you look like shit.” 

He laughed, actually laughed, at her words. He could always count on her to be honest with him. “I haven’t been sleeping very well,” he admitted, “but talking with you definitely helped.” 

She eyed him doubtfully. “I hope I haven’t ruined things with you and Y/N. I can talk with her if you want?” 

“No, it’s fine,” he shook his hand. 

She looked down, feeling foolish. “I guess I did enough damage.” 

He chuckled. “No, pretty sure I did that all on my own.” 

Looking up, her mouth opened, as if she was about to ask him what he meant but stopped herself at the last second. She wasn’t there yet, and neither was he. 

He took a step back. “I should go.”

Nana went to follow him to the door. “I’ll have her back by Sunday. Do you want to say goodbye?” She saw his nod and called for their daughter, her voice echoing off the walls. “Arin? Arin, darling, come here and say bye to your dad.” 

A few seconds later he heard Arin’s footsteps getting closer, she hovered by the entryway, looking worried for a second, as if she was expecting the worst but then she saw her parents smiling faces and relaxed instantly. 

“I’ll see you Sunday, okay?” Seokjin told her as she made her way towards him. He reached to pick her up, something she scolded him over sometimes because it was “embarrassing” now. She was getting older, he kept forgetting, because to him she would always be his little girl. This time however, she let him do so, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed his cheek. 

“Okay, bye daddy. Love you.” 

“Love you, too,” he grinned, kissing her back before he put her down.

Nana watched on with a grin of her own. 

Being home alone was odd. Seokjin couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on his own. In the week Misook was here to help out with Arin and the housework, then every other weekend she often dropped in when he needed her. When the house wasn’t occupied by his daughter or Misook, you were here with him, so it had been quite a while since it was just him. It reminded him of the past, when he’d lived here all alone. He never wanted to go back to that. 

He was happy to see Friday roll around. It felt like he’d been waiting all his life. Just one more day and he’d get to speak to you. The lack of communication was killing him. Ever since you’d began dating you’d spoken every day. It felt strange to be without that, like he was missing a part of himself. He’d been able to distract himself with work throughout the week, but no amount of distractions could really stop him from thinking about you. Stop him from missing you. Because he did. Terribly. 

The photo on his desk didn’t help matters either – the two of you smiling together on the fishing trip he’d organised over the summer – but like hell was he hiding it away in a drawer. 

It was probably best that Arin was with Nana this weekend. It gave you both some time to talk and sort things out – hopefully. He was praying so hard that everything would be okay, but he was getting ready to fight for you. Just in case. Of course he would listen to what you had to say, and respect it too, but if it happened to be bad news he would try his best to make you see how sorry he was and how hard he was trying to change. He couldn’t lose you. Not when he loved you so much.

You made him want to be a better man. 

.

.

He got home pretty late from the office, staying just to avoid an empty house and after having a quick shower and ordering takeout, he decided on an early night. This week had been mentally and emotionally draining so it was probably for the best. Plus the sooner he slept the sooner tomorrow would come. 

He’d just stepped out of the bathroom when he heard his phone ring in his sweatpants pocket. He pulled the device out automatically, expecting it to be Namjoon, because who else would be calling at this time? But to his surprise and utter amazement, he saw your name flashing across his screen. 

His heart began to pound embarrassingly loud and he rushed to answer, sounding a little breathless as he murmured your name.

“Hey, you,” your replied, and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice. His shoulders instantly released the tension he hadn’t realised they’d been holding. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to call tonight.” He heard himself say, cursing himself because it sounded so dumb. He was over the moon you’d decided to call. Of course he was. 

“Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” 

“Of course not,” he rushed. “Well,” he laughed, “I was just about to head to bed.” 

You laughed along softly, the sound making his heart sing. “I was going to wait until tomorrow but Soojung is with Taehyung tonight and being alone means I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

He couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that slipped past his lips. It was so good to hear you say that. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all week. Are you ready to talk? I’m willing to answer any questions you have.” He meant every word. 

“I’m ready,” you replied. “Should I come over? I don’t want to do this over the phone.” 

“I can come to you?” He suggested instead, not wanting you to go out of your way for him. “Arin’s with Nana until Sunday.” 

“Oh. Okay. Now?” 

“It’s not too late?” 

“No, it’s fine.” You sounded a little eager and that just made even more relieved. He’d been expecting the worst all along. “I really want to see you.” 

He smiled, happiness overwhelming him. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Really soon.” As he spoke he made his way into the closet, opening up his drawers to find a clean t-shirt. 

“Don’t speed,” you told him jokingly.  

“Of course I won’t,” he laughed. “I’m going to hang up now but I won’t be long.” 

“Okay, see you soon, Seokjin.” 

He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he said his final goodbye, his heart racing with excitement as he tore off his old shirt to put the new one on. It was a little creased, but it would do. He didn’t have time to find anything else. 

He needed to see you. 

He needed to be with you. 

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Help wanted

Summery: Boarding house with the occasional unwanted tenant.

Note: I don’t think Arvin is dark in this, but it might be for other people.

Warning: non-con/dub con, dark theme, choking, slight spanking, cream pie

Grey Arvin Russell x Reader; Dark Lee Bodecker x Reader

🛎

The bell rung on the door of your boarding house. Drying your hands with a dish rag you got yourself ready to meet whoever it was coming through the door. When you crossed through the archway you were shocked still.

He had a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, his clothes looked all greased up, the hat that hid a thick tuft of hair peaked out looked like it had seen better days.

His type weren't known for being on this side of town so you figured he was either new to town or looking for someone.

You welcomed him with a soft smile and gave your name.

"How can I help you today sir?"

"Hello Ma'am." He said politely, tipping his hat slightly at you. His thick country twang confirming the former. "I saw the help wanted sign out side. Y'all still hiring?"

"Um..Y-yeah... I need a handy man, job includes free room, and board, but I won't just hire anybody though. There is a washer in the basement, if you fix one of them the jobs yours."

🛎

Waddling to the basement with your Daddy's old toolbox, the heavy rusty thing knocked at your knees each step. He jogged over to you, taking the kit from your grasp and you thank him for it.

"The left one broke down a month ago and the other I'm guessing couldn't handle the over use. Dryers work just fine though."

Before he could reply you heard the door bell ring again. You excused yourself and left him to work.

"I'm coming, just a minute!" You shout down the hall as you hurried.

🛎

"Sorry it took so long."

"Saul right Ma'am" he said rising from the floor. You watched from the door as he twisted a dial. The hum of the machine filled the growing awkward silence.

"Well aren't you something! I guess that means your hired."

He lifted his hat to smooth back stray strands of hair, his shy smile hid as he looked down to the floor.

🛎

"Your room's on the third floor. Has a bed and a little sitting place. It's really small just enough room to lay your head really." The sound of foot-steps coming down the stairs halted you. Your eyes watch their back disappear into the night, until he cleared his throat bringing your attention back.

"That'll do just fine Ma'am." Something about his southern accent made your heart flutter. He picked up his duffel, throwing the strap over his shoulder as you dug out your ledger.

"Just down there is the supper table. I cook breakfast and dinner. You can eat in your room if you like, a lot of them do."  You explained as you watch him sign the book. Arvin Russell it read.

He adjusted his strap as you talked, his deep brown eyes made it hard for you to keep his gaze, making you fidget nervously in place. "Most folks are gone during the day so I don't make lunch, but if you like no problem just give me a holler. Bath rooms are at the end of each hall."

Digging in your desk you find the master keys and a list of things that needed to be fixed. His fingers grazed yours lightly in the transfer, Arvin's touch sent a ripple of heat up to your face. He flipped through the wrinkled papers, scanning over the chores with a wrinkled brow.

"S-sorry to put so much on you, but when my daddy got sick things got out of hand and I never been one for fixing things."

"No problem Ma'am."

🛎

During the day you kept busy. Scrubbing windows and mopping the halls of each floor. Arvin crossed paths with you on occasion. Gently brushing past you with his tools as he headed to his next assignment.

The door to Odis', one of the tents, room was left wide open when you walked by. Curious you glanced in, catching sight of Arvin lifting his shirt. Your legs stop moving as you watched him wipe away beads of sweat from his brow with the hem. You couldn't stop yourself from ogling his well toned exposed stomach.

The clanking of the dust pan hitting the floor caught his attention. Your face burn with embarrassment when he found you standing outside the room. Panicked you quickly picked up the pan and rushed off to the ground floor.

🛎

You heard Arvin call your name. "Yeah?" You replied weakly still embarrassed.

*Relax he isn't thinking about you. Probably just thinks your a clumsy dits.

He came halfway down the stairs, looking down at you from the banister. "You got a minute? I need a little help" he asked politely.

"Oh sure... Uh sure" you reply looking up at him. Arvin abandoned his cap, his dark hair sticking to his forehead, curling from sweat. More sweat pooled on his shirt, the dampness helped stick the fabric to his lean figure.

Following him up the stairs he led you to a room on the third floor. In the corner of the room there was a large metal pipe leaning against the wall.

You watched as Arvin lifted the heavy pipe, angling it vertically in position.

"Can you hold this?" he called over his shoulder.

Walking over you grabbed it and Arvin moved to get behind you. He took your hands and placed them along the pipe as you steadied yourself to hold it still while it slightly wobbled.

"OK hold still just like that." He bent over beside you, digging into the tool box that rested on the floor. When he rose, Arvin stayed close behind you. You could feel the heat coming off him, he smelled like sweat and after shave. Your hands felt sweaty as you felt rattled a bit by his closeness.

The pipe shifted a bit, you tried nudging it slightly, but couldn't get it back in place.

"Stay steady" his breath tickled your ear, you gasped making him chuckle lightly. "Just like that" he moved the pipe back into place, pushing into your butt when he stepped closer. "Just hold right... here." He placed a hand on your hip and you tensed. His fingers lightly squeezed your softness. You had to fight hard to bring your mind out of the gutter, he just needed your help, nothing more, the spot between your thighs thought otherwise.

With his arms raised above you, Arvin tightened the nuts to secure the metal tube. You swallowed thickly when you heard him grunt as he forced the wrench to move. Looking over to your right you spied his exposed arms. His muscle flexing as he moved.

"Almost done" he said to you, pushing you almost flush to the steel, bumping you gently with each twist of the wrench. You only nod, unable to conjure words to speak properly. Through the cheap fabric of your dress you felt something hard poke at you through his jeans.

*Stomp it now get your mind out of the gutter.

You don't know what had gotten into you lately. First staring at him like a creeper now thinking about his manhood. Maybe its about time you started going back to church you thought to yourself. Cause right now it felt like the devil was leading you to temptation.

When Arvin stepped back you had to choke down a whimper from the loss of his feel. Pressing your lips together you prayed he aint hear you.

Tapping a hand on your shoulder you turn to look at him. "All done." He smiled at you, your hands release the pipe and you backed away.

"Thanks Ma'am."

"You're welcome Arvin" You smiled shyly then rushed off back to your desk.

🛎

No matter how hard your days were the nights were by far the worst. Lying in bed you felt the mattress dip. The fear of the impending figure behind you prickled your skin.

Your eyes squeezed tightly shut as you tried to force yourself to sleep. Holding your breath in a dumb attempt to force yourself to pass out. The blanket covering you pulled away and you felt water fall from your closed eyes.

🛎

Propping your head on your hands you leaned on your desk. Your eyes drooped as you zoned out, looking into space.

"You alright Ma'am?" Arvin startled you as he walked down the stairs.

"I couldn't sleep." You stand up and stretch, yawning a bit. He walked closer to your desk, dressed in his work pants shirt.

"Try some warm milk. Used to help me." He passed by your desk, walking down the hall with tool kit in had to the washers. The old machines acting up again since last time he fixed them.

"Oh Arvin" you shouted at him before he passed through the door. "Um.. can I add something to your list. No worries if you can't get it done today, but I would much appreciate it if you could."

Placing the box down by the laundry door he walked back over, digging the sheet from his back pocket. You grabbed a pen hopeful it was a task he wouldn't mind sorting right away.

"If you can't fix the lock today no problem. I will just go sleep in the attic." You spoke casually as he slipped you the paper to write on. He read over your assignment and you watched as his lips made a hard line.

"I locked myself out of my room, didn't want to wake you to get the spare, sorry. Now I done made more work for you" you laughed, but their was no humor in it. His features softened and you hoped he wouldn't press the issue.

Pushing the paper back to him, you bid him a due and turn to face away to pretend to make a call. When you heard him walk away you let out a breath.

🛎

Arvin was a saint among men. You don't know where he found the money, but he added a chain lock to your door. You smiled at the shiny gold. Sliding on the chain and the bottom lock you prepared for bed.

Laying in bed the thought of the extra lock helped sooth your nerve as you slipped into sleep.

You felt an uncomfortable lump at your back rousing you awake. Your eyes shot open and a hand covered your mouth before you could scream out.

"You think your smart, putting that chain on that door" the beer on his breath hit your nose. Your tears soaked his hand as he held you.

You shake your head 'no' repeatedly in reply. He was still dressed in his work clothes as he laid next to you. The sound of his belt jingling made the tears fall harder.

"I told your daddy I would look out for you. How am I gonna do that if you lock the door?"

Lee, a local cop, only came around when his wife was either on the mends or she just flat out kicked him out. Your father had offered the man a free bed whenever he needed. His way of thanking him for keeping the neighborhood safe.

Lee pushed up your night gown and tsked when he felt your panties. The hand on your mouth slipped down your neck and you blubbered out your apologizes. He hated panties, too much work he called it. "What I told you about these?" he grumbled, forcing the fabric down.

"I-i'm sorry I thought my monthlies were coming on." You sniffed. You tried hard not to cry, you just hopped he would squeeze hard enough to make you pass out.

You heard him spit in his hand, he bumped into your back as he lubed himself up. You yelped when he smacked your ass hard, the sudden sting of pain loosening your locked legs.

"Yea you said that last week. I aint forget girl." He shoved himself inside after he found your opening. "Fucking bitch. I run the house gawd damn it!" Lee was mad at his wife agin. What ever his spite with her, you were paying for it. "Not gonna tell me what to do. Fucking bitch." He growled, panting heavily as he pumped.

You jolted with each thrust, no matter how many times Lee did it, it never got easier.

"Please." You panted desperately. "Please don't come in me" you choked out, his hand tightening his grip around your throat. You had been lucky so far, but you knew it was only a matter of time before your luck ran out.

Lee didn't like back talk, this was his show and you were just here for the ride. Pushing you completely flat you grip the fabric of the sheets. Lifting your ass as he rose to his knees he fucked into you harder. You cried out unable to adjust to his lengthen. He chuckled darkly at your pain, slamming into you repeatedly with a punishing rhythm.

He cursed your name. Reminded you of your place as he came deep in you. His seed filling your cunt as you pressed your head into the mattress and cried.

He slipped out of the bed. His pants once again jingling as he fixed himself up and headed out the door.

🛎

It was that time of the month again.

Whenever he shouted he spit. It was disgusting. You had given him chance after chance, but he used them all. "I'm sorry Tommy if you don't have the rent by Thursday you are going to have to leave."

"Fuck you bitch you let that boy stay here rent free!"  He shouted. Trying to make sure tent knew.

"He works here. He earns he keep."

"Then let me earn mine? or give me another week." He barked. His tone more of a demand than a request.

Sighing you hung your head low. Rubbing your temple with one hand you hugged your stomach with the other. First of the month was the worst. Tents ducked and dodged. Begged and pleaded or straight up demand just to not pay rent.

"Next Friday Tommy... That's the last time you hear me." You try to sound strong, but you knew he didn't give a shit as long as he won. "If you aint got it then, then I'm changing the locks and putting your stuff on the street."

He slammed his door in your face and you turned on your heels headed to the next delinquent.

"You alright Ma'am?" Straight ahead, Arvin poked out from the bathroom. You had to fight yourself from looking down at his lower half. In your peripheral you could see he was just in a towel that hung around his waist.

His wet hair seemed to curl under the towel on his head. Strands sticking to his forehead, his face still damp from the shower.

"Umm yeah. Uh just rents due and folks get a little uppity around this time of the month." You dry chuckle turning your eyes up at the ceiling. Fighting yourself from venturing further.

You couldn't tell if it was the steam that came from the bathroom or you. Whenever he was close, your body would react. The heat would turn up making you sweat.

"Well alright then. You have a good night Ma'am."

🛎

*Bang Bang Bang

"Tommy!" You bang again. "Tommy! I will give you to the count of three. If you don't open this door and pay up. I am coming in and kicking you out!" You huffed tapping a foot.

"Ma'am?"

"Morning Arvin. Sorry did I wake you?"

"No was working down the hall."

"Tommy, skipped out on rent I think." Taking a deep breath you lifted your master key ring and unlocked the door. When you peered inside the room was a mess, no sign of Tommy.

Arvin followed you in side, with a hand on your hip you groaned. The amount of clean up you would have to do to ready it for a new tenant would take all day.

"Arvin can you change the lock on the door. I hate doing this, but I gotta kick him out"

"Sure thing ma'am"

As you turn to leave you over at Arvin who was still assessing the damage to the room. "Oh and can you possibly stay close. If he comes around I might need your help."

Arvin only nodded in response as you took your leave.

🛎

Tommy didn't come back that day or the next. Putting up a sign you thought that you could clean up the room a bit, before the weekend. With the storm you figured not to many people would be coming around anyway.

Taking up a few boxes you get to tossing. One box you would keep in the addict. Somethings were just to hard to throw away sometimes, but a good chunk would go.

Thunder bashed down filling the room with a blinding white light. You yelped loudly bringing the sound of feet rushing down your way.

"You alright Ma'am?" Arvin looked in the room worried.

"Sorry Arvin, it’s just the storm. Lightening makes me a bit skittish sorry." You apologize as you get back to clearing the room.

"Well I am finished with my list for today, would you mind if I trouble you for some company?"

"U-um sure" you tried to fight off the smile.

His lips curled as he walked in the room. The instant he crossed the door frame you heard shouting coming from down stairs. When the voice made itself more clear you frowned.

"Oh uh sorry.. I need to tend to that" you say softly. With your head low you walked past him.

🛎

Lee was wet and agitated. "Fucking bitch had the nerve to accuse me of drinking again." He spat while you sat waiting on the bed. "I aint touch a drop today" he said smugly.

You looked at your feet as he undressed in front of you. The sound of a siren blared loudly from out side, Lee turned and squinted at the sound. "Shit!" He stopped undressing and ran out.

Getting up from the bed you grabbed your robe and peered out the hall. The front door was open and Lee wasn't there. The rain still coming down hard, blew in through the open door so you walked bare foot to close it and see if he had really gone. His car was gone that was for sure and as you looked into the rain it seemed he had disappeared too. You exhaled in relief, backed away and closed the entrance.

"Ma'am?" Arvin called to you out of breath.

"Shit!" You gasped, turning to face him. Your heart bashed in your chest as you stared at him crazily. He was soaked to the bone. "Your gonna catch a cold walking around like that" you scolded tightening your robe.

"Do you have any clean towels?" You asked, but you turn back to look at the door. Hoping that Lee wouldn't suddenly comeback.

"I think so.. I know I need to do laundry, not too good at it so I've been holding it off."

"Well, I don't normally do this, but if you like I can mix yours with mine. I don't have enough clothes to justify using all that water anyway."you shrugged.

"I don't want to put you out" he stepped closer to you. "The way his clothes clung to him you had to try hard not to stare.

"N-no trouble. Um wait here I'll give you a towel just in case." You leave him and head back into your room. Digging in your cabinet for the towels. When you turned around again Arvin stood in your living room, looking around your meager abode. "I know it aint much, but at least I got my own bathroom" you chuckled.

When he stepped closer and you had to hold yourself together. Arvin dragged his teeth over his bottom lip while his eyes fell to the opening in your rope.

"S-sorry" your face felt on fire, embarrassed you looked down to your feet. You held out the towel and closed the robe with the other. Arvin’s hand lifted your chin and your eyes went wild.

His lips felt so soft. You just wanted to kiss them all day. Arvin's arms wrapped around your waist and you wanted to melt into him.

Arvin turned you around and backed you up until you both fell backwards onto the bed. Arvin rested comfortably between your thighs while his manhood pressed on your mound. You didn’t know if it were his jeans or your nature making you go wet, but either way you welcomed it.

You gasped when he sucked on your neck, kissing the spot after pulling off. Arvin ground his hips into you making the warmth between your legs soak with desperation.

Holding himself above you, you forced yourself to finally look back at him without shying away. He smirked down at you as he peeled off his top, the wet garment hit the floor hard. His muscles moved and tightened as he freed his shaft. Biting your bottom lips you hummed when he rubbed the tip hard against your slit then lining himself up. Arvin pressed his weight down as he pushed inside slowly. You moaned his name at his fullness. The bed frame squeaked as he rocked.

Kissing you again swallowing your moans, you wrap your legs around his back urging him deeper. Ever the gentleman he obliged.

🛎

*Bang Bang Bang

The furious jiggling and banging was most definitely Lee. You were surprised he hadn't popped the lock as usual, but it was only a matter of time before he got through.

Arvin must not have noticed so you slapped his chest. Pushing him off, but he wouldn't stop. Instead kissing you again as you tried to speak.

"Arvin please, that's Lee... he's.. cop" you spoke on his lips, but your words meant nothing.

Arvin's eye were darkened with lust. You tried to spin away, but he hooked your legs keeping you there, fucking you with his slow pace. He was splitting your mind in two. You wanted to cum so desperately, but your reason told you that Lee wouldn't take kindly to this.

Arvin continued to rock into you as Lee screamed at the door.  Your back arched when Arvin took your nipple in his mouth.

"That's it. That's my girl. Come for me." He mumbled over your nipple. Licking the areola and sucking it again, you came around him, squeezing his cock making him hum with approval.

The banging on your bedroom wall brought your high down fast. "I will shoot through this gawd damn wall if you don't let me in!" Lee threatened. You looked at Arvin with panic in your eye. Arvin kissed you gently again as Lee screamed on. You were terrified, you hoped you could explain Arvin's presence away as a maintenance emergency, but before you could properly forma a though he pulled up his pants as you fixed yourself. Arvin didn't stop or look back as you called out to him. Paying you no mind as he opened the door and walked out.

The sound in the hall was so loud you thought lightening had broke through the roof. You rushed out of your room and found Lee out cold, with a pool growing around his perimeter. You looked at Arvin, the young man unconcerned as he began dragging the cop into your room by his feet.

"Get a bucket and a mop" he commanded, the pistol tucked deep in his pants. Without a word you followed his orders.

🛎

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Pro-hero!Katsuki Bakugo's Son, Finds Santa Kissing His Mother. Alternatively, The One Where Katsuki's Son Demands His Father Beat Up Santa Claus On Christmas.

Requested By: Wattpad User

Edited: 12-25-2020

Katsuki quietly hummed to himself as he worked inside the kitchen prepping breakfast. He had some pancakes and sausage on the stovetop, whereas he kept the bacon cooking inside the oven. He had one arm on [Daughter Name], keeping her attached to his hip as he bounced her and flipped food with his other hand. She was only two and still being young she clung to her father for attention, with it being one of his rare days off for the holidays he wasn't going to say no, he was going to devote it to her and his son.

"Bud, can you toast the bagels for me?"

Katsuki briefly moved his attention from the stove to pull the bag of bagels out of the bread cabinet and tossed them onto the counter. Usually, he'd had done it himself but with his daughter on his hip, cooking was already proving to be difficult. His son rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I like it better when mom cooks. She never makes me do stuff."

"Hey! You should gladly offer yourself up to help her when I'm not around. Your mother is a Saint, that's why she's sleeping in and you're stuck with me. Now toast the f– toast the bagels."

[Son Name] untied the bag and pulled the bagels out begrudgingly. He was defiantly a momma's boy and loved to give Katsuki lip, undoubtedly universal karma for Katsuki being such a demon to his own mother. Katsuki had to smile to himself as he put food on platters and placed it on the table as well as placing his daughter in her height chair before leaving to wake you up for breakfast.

Katsuki never thought this would become his life. He never thought he'd have a son, his own carbon copy of himself, nor did he imagine he'd follow up with baby number two attached to his hip whenever he wasn't out heroing. Beyond that, he never imagined he'd find someone like you, someone who put up with his crap, someone perfect. He never imagined such a picture-perfect domestic life for himself, one where he cooked, fed the children and owned a cat. One where he had a scheduled date night every week and brought flowers home every other Sunday. He wouldn't ever dare change it.

"Baby?"

Katsuki quietly closed the door behind him and walked over to the window so he could open up the curtains and let light in. You groaned and pulled the pillow over your head as the light made contact with you. You pulled the blanket closer to your body, and a smile tugged at Katsuki's lips. He loved moments like this.

"Sweetheart, it's time to wake up."

"No, you're mean. A big meanie."

Katsuki climbed into the bed and cuddled up next to you. He pulled the pillow off of your head and threw it onto the ground on his side so you couldn't reach back for it. You had major bedhead, and he loved that. Years ago you would've forbidden him from seeing you like that, now he found it hot.

"It's Christmas Eve, you need to get up."

"No, leave me alone. It's my day off, go wake the kids up."

"Already awake, and breakfast is on the table. We wanted to let you sleep in, give you a break for once."

Katsuki pushed your hair out of your face and tried to pull the blanket out of your grip as you fought back a smile. He thought he was being really smooth.

"For being a pro-hero you're such a liar. You don't want me to have a break, you were trying to butter me up so we can repeat what we did last night."

"You were the one who was all over Santa last night, don't blame me if I try to get the use out of the Santa suit before I have to give it back to the company."

He was referring to the Santa costume he came home wearing last night. Everyone at his hero agency had to dress up as Santa and do some charity work for a variety of different places such as churches and hospitals. He came straight home afterward and you put it to good use.

"Mm, I don't need Santa when I have you, I guess."

"Geez, aren't you romantic."

"Just let me put some clothes on and I will be right down."

You rolled off the bed and scampered off to your laundry basket to see if you could find some pajamas to clothe your naked body. Katsuki ripped his eyes away from your back, ripped his eyes away from the marks he gave you passionately. He climbed off of the bed and made his way back downstairs to the breakfast table but he passed [Son Name] in the kitchen putting bagels in a toaster.

"Dad, can I talk to you? Man to man."

"What's up, little man?"

"Last night... Last night I saw mommy and Santa kissing."

Katsuki tried to laugh it off as he pulled the orange juice from the fridge and placed it on the table, your son following him hot on his tail as he went.

"Santa only comes on Christmas."

"That's what I thought, but mom said Santa comes before Christmas sometimes to make sure our trees are working, like in 'The Grinch' but for real, and mommy would never lie to me."

"I'm sure it's not what it looked like, Alright? Your mother loves us both very much and she wouldn't do that to us."

It was exactly what it looked like but it wasn't Santa, it was himself in the Santa suit. Katsuki was grasping at straws, trying to explains this to his son and make it look innocent, trying to make you look good without exposing the secret.

"I know mommy wouldn't do that to us! What I really wanted to talk about was how Santa was really mean. He took her into her bedroom and said some really mean things. He yelled stuff at her like 'that's my pussy' and 'give me a baby'. If he wants a cat so bad can't the elves just give him one, I like our cat."

This progressively kept getting worse, and Katsuki was glad that you were still upstairs. Had you heard their conversation you surely would've killed Katsuki.

"Daddy, you need to stop Santa before he tries to steal our cat, I love Gigi! What if he tries taking [Daughter Name], he said he wanted a baby. Or worse, what if he tries stealing mommy from you. You-you need to beat him up when he comes tonight. You need to set Santa straight."

There were so many things Katsuki could've said or done to de-escalate this. He could kindly explain he was in a Santa suit for charity work. He could have lied and said he and you were arguing about getting another cat. He could have been honest and said you both were talking about having another child, but he didn't. [Son name] was begging him with forming tears in his eyes. He was crying out and calling him daddy. He was such a momma's boy, Katsuki hadn't had his son need or want him like this in such a long time. It felt nice, it felt good, so all Katsuki did was nod and agree with his son.

"They don't call me DynaMight for nothing. I'll blow him into next week. Santa won't think about stealing anyone of our family members ever again."

[Son Name] wrapped his arms around Katsuki and he smiled. He tightly grabbed his father, and let his tears fall into Katsuki's shirt as he mumbled out thank you's.

"I can't wait to see you beat up Santa."

In hindsight, Katsuki should've expected that one. How was he supposed to beat up Santa when he was Santa in the first place. Suddenly a horrible idea crossed Katsukis head. It is despicable, and mean. You would've frowned upon it and discouraged it. Once his son let go of him and walked off to sit at the breakfast table, Katsuki walked down the hall to make a phone call to his coworker.

"Key, Kaminari– What do you mean I only call you when I need something?! I'm a good friend you du– Look, do you still have your Santa suit? Come to my house tonight at eleven, in your suit. I promise it's for a good cause."

The clock was slowly ticking away. Every second chasing down the hour and Christmas Eve was well on it's way to becoming Christmas. Supper had finished up, Katsuki even cleared the table and helped you do the dishes. He had cooked, and it was a mutual unspoken agreement between you both that whoever cooked dinner did not have to clean it up after. He didn't even try to sprinkle you with water, he was just sweet and soft for the evening.

"Thanks, Katsuki, you're being so sweet today. Let me sleep in, made breakfast and you helped me clean? God, you're such a keeper."

You threw your drying towel onto the now cleared and clean counter before you made your way to the living room to find some Christmas movie on the tv that was age-appropriate for your children. Katsuki was being sweet, too sweet and it made you suspicious. He was pulling out all the cards and tricks he typically pulls out when you get angry that he'd forgotten something, or came home too late.

After you got settled down on the couch with [Son Name] nestled between your legs on the floor and [Daughter name] cuddling into your right side. Katsuki came over and sat a tray of hot cocoa on the coffee table in front��of the couch. Katsuki took a seat at your left side and passed you a mug before wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close. You hummed while you sipped from the mug and carefully watched as Katsuki skimmed through the tv channels and put on 'Santa Claus', the one starring Tim Allen, for the kids and you.

He hated that movie. He claimed it was to overwatched. After being put on year after year he wanted a new Christmas movie.

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

Katsuki was taken back by your words. He didn't do anything, at least not yet. He was planning to roast your best friend, but Denki didn't even know it was happening and the only one who could snitch was his son who didn't know it would be Denki.

"You let me sleep in, you made breakfast, you bathed the kids and uhm, me. You cooked and helped clean dinner, now you've brought me cocoa and now you're putting on a movie you hate. So, what did you do?"

To be fair, some of those things Katsuki had planned out into motion before he had even planned to blast Denki into next Tuesday.

"I just wanna cherish you. You're my wife, let me love you."

Katsuki pulled you even closer to his side, nearly making the cocoa in your hands tip over as he placed a tender kiss onto the tip of your head.

"You forgot to get me a present didn't you?"

Your eyes narrowed at Katsuki before he dipped his head own to your ear and whispered hotly.

"I did not forget, you're getting a great present tomorrow morning, and maybe I'll even give you one tonight."

"I'm watching you."

The minutes slid by as you watched the movie together as a family. Everyone once and awhile you give Katsuki a look out of the side of your eye, carefully inspecting him. Soon your son was nodding off at your legs and your daughter was sound asleep in your lap.

"Time for bed."

Your son jumped up, seemingly having excitement from out of nowhere. You carefully picked up your daughter and carried her in your arms as you stood up to carry her to bed. One down, one to go.

"Go brush your teeth and put on your pajamas for mommy, okay? I'll be right there to tuck you in."

Your words were rushed and whispered as to not wake your sleeping daughter, but your son frowned and grabbed Katsuki's hand.

"I want daddy to tuck me in tonight."

"Mm, you sure? I'd love to read you a bedtime story."

"I want dad."

You adjusted your daughter on your arms to help even out the weight as you stared down your son and husband.

"If you're both not in bed within half an hour I will take away a Christmas gift."

You walked off upstairs, still suspicious of the males in your family. No way did your son, the momma's boy, just reject your offer. Now you were positive Katsuki was up to something.

Katsuki waited until you were upstairs to text Denki. He was outside, waiting to make noise under the pretense that his son wanted to meet Santa. Denki could be heard outside, doing goodness knows what.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah! I bet it's Santa, are you gonna beat him up dad, are you gonna show him who's boss!?"

Katsuki rolled his sleeves up and looked back at the stairs, just to be sure you were upstairs and not watching them.

"You can bet your butt I am! Your dads the greatest, watch me go kick Santa's butt."

Katsuki marched to the front door and swung it open before making his way to Denki. He walked the way he did on patrol, the way he did when he was on TV, like a man on a mission, a man with a purpose.

"Ho-Ho-Ho!–"

"Ho-Ho-Ho yourself! Heard you wanted to break apart my family, Santa."

Katsuki aimed one of his blasts at Denki. It wasn't large enough to harm him, but it was large enough to hurt.

"Katsuki, what the fuck dude?"

"That was for being mean to my wife and trying to take away our cat."

Katsuki marched closer to Denki and kicked him in the leg, grinning as he heard Denki groan in pain.

"That was for swearing in front of my kid. If I can't do it, neither can you."

"I'm sorry, Jesus Christ."

Katsuki left Denki on the floor as he walked over to the front door and picked his son up. His son clutched on to him tightly, happy his father saved the family. Happy his father wouldn't let Santa take his cat or mother away.

"Thanks, Dad, you're my hero."

"Well, I am the best hero. I'd fight Santa for you any day, just don't tell your mom."

Even though Denki snitched to you the next day, even though you had watched the altercation through the window, you didn't say a word to Katsuki. You didn't reprimand him, or get upset that he hurt Denki. Instead, you watched fondly with a smile from the window. That was the father of your children, your hero, and the guy who held your heart. He was soft and sweet and held the bar for fathers high. He deserved a pass for this one.

[eideticmemory]

EMERGENCY | SPENCER REID

Description: Filling the request, “Spencer is in a relationship with the reader but is hiding it from the team and they all know he’s hiding something but don’t know what until he gets hurt / shot in the field and the hospital calls her in as his emergency contact :).”

Word Count: 2,162.

Rating: PG.

Warning/Includes: Implied violence/injury.

“Crawling back to you,” you sang. “Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? Cause I always do!”

“What are you doing?” Spencer asked, giggles falling off his lips as he stepped into the kitchen.

You jumped, startled by his sudden presence and waving your spatula at him like a weapon. “Ah, Spencer! You scared me! What are you doing?”

“What am I doing? I live here! What are you doing?”

“I am making you breakfast, loser! I thought you were still in the shower.”

“Babe, what are you doing up?”

The clock had just struck seven in the morning when Spencer entered the kitchen, although you both had been up since six. Spencer is an early bird. You, however, not so much. So, seeing you up, dancing, singing, cooking before sunrise was a bit of a surprise for Spencer.

“I wanted you to eat before going into work. I know you don’t get breakfast on your way there. And no, coffee is not breakfast.”

He laughed and shook his head, fixing his tie as he took a seat at the table. “What are you making?”

“Bacon, eggs, and toast!” You exclaimed. “I’m surprised you had some in the fridge. Either it’s all fresh or it’s been there since you moved in.”

He giggled, “Well, it smells great, thank you.”

You fixed his plate all nice and neat, a cup of orange juice on the side and a sticky note reading ‘I love you!’ to accompany it. The smile he gave you as you sat it in front of him was pure, and the butterflies in your stomach were having a field day.

“I love you more,” he whispered. “Come here.”

He pulled you into his lap, his hands running down your thighs. The kiss was sweet, slow, and full of passion. It made you dizzy. It always does.

“I’m going to want this shirt back eventually,” he told you, pinching the fabric covering your body.

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “Good luck with that. Come on, eat, eat!”

He obeyed your happy command, diving into the plate of food with a joyful hum. He held a piece of bacon to your lips, which you gladly munched on. “Spence, this is supposed to be your breakfast.”

“I like feeding you.”

“And I like being fed! But I’m not the one going out and chasing criminals. You need your strength.”

He laughed, “Fine, my love. You’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“You’re always right.”

Another kiss.

Once his plate was clear, the two of you sat in harmony for another 10 minutes. Kisses, giggles, quiet conversation that would last you guys all day if you let it. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

“Alright,” Spencer sighed. “I’m officially late for work.”

You sadly removed yourself from his lap and held his hands as he rose from the chair. “Go save the world, Spencer Reid. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I should be back pretty soon. Garcia said it’s a local case.”

You squealed, “So, that means we may still get to go to dinner tonight?”

“Babe, that means we’ll definitely go to dinner tonight.”

You clapped your hands excitedly, hopping up to kiss him once more. He wrapped his arms around your waist, sighing happily against your lips. “I love you,” he whispered. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight,” you nodded. “And remember what I always tell you?”

“Don’t get shot.” You two said in unision.

“Or stabbed or beaten or any variation thereof,” you added. “You just come back to me, okay?”

“Always.”

It was always so sad to see him go. But the idea of seeing him again stuck in the back of your mind like a happy, happy thought. It kept you going, kept you sane. After eating your own breakfast, you fell into your routine of a quick shower, dressing up, and heading off to work. You squeezed the key in your hand after locking up, remembering the day Spencer had given you token. A year of bliss. A year of happiness. A year of nothing but true love.

At the end of the day, you made one stop between your office and Spencer’s place - and that was at your own apartment. There, you hopped into another shower, freshening up like a daisy and putting on the most beautiful, elegant, damn-near-perfect black dress. You’d been excited to wear it for weeks, and now - after dinner had been postponed multiple times due to Spencer’s job - you finally had the chance!

You confidently traveled from your place to Spencer’s, parking outside and making your way up to the apartment, hells clacking against the floor. You used your key to unlock the door, barging in with a happy song, “Spence! I’m here!” You called, closing the door behind you. “Just wait until you see me in this little number. I think you won’t be able to get your jaw off the floor. But we’ll see.”

You neared the back of the apartment, listening intently for any movement. You rounded the corner into the bedroom, seeing nothing had changed or been moved out of place from this morning. Your eyes lowered together, “Spence? Spencer?” You said. No response.

You pulled out your phone, the time reading eight-fifteen. He should’ve been home by now. He should’ve called by now. And that’s when, suddenly, you began to feel very, very bad. “Spencer?” You whispered. It was a helpless cry, a sad cry. It made you feel sick to your stomach.

You took a seat on the couch and attempted to calm yourself. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. It was just like you to assume the worst, but with a job like Spencer’s, you could never be too sure. And that’s what scared the hell out of you. You massaged your fingertips into the back of your neck, trying to calm the nerves that racked your body. No success.

When your phone rang, you’d never moved so fast in your life. You picked up the device, answered the call, and spoke before you could register just what you were doing, “Spencer?”

“Hi, is this [y/n] [y/l/n]?”

You gulped, “Y-yes.”

“This is Doctor Chase at Saint Elizabeth’s hospital. I’m calling regarding Spencer Reid.”

“Is he okay?” You cut him off, your voice wavering.

“It’s urgent that you get here as soon as possible.”

You hung up. Didn’t want to hear what else he had to say. Because it didn’t matter. What mattered was Spencer. And he needed you right now. You arrived at Saint Elizabeth’s in all of fifteen minutes, breaking a few traffic laws and making a lot of speed violations. Your feet hurt, squished by the heels that covered them, but your adrenaline was too high for you to notice. You rushed onto the scene of the hospital lobby, anxiously approaching the nurse at the front desk.

“H-hi,” you suttered. “I’m - I’m [y/n] [y/l/n], I got a call about Spencer Reid. Is he okay? Where is he?”

“You’re going to have to talk to Doctor Chase about his condition, I can’t tell you much.”

“Okay, but can I see him? Can you, can you just tell me where he is?”

“He’s in the ICU right now, ma’am, I can’t let you back there.”

“Why not?”

“Are you his wife?”

“N-no.”

“You’re going to wait for Doctor Chase, I’m sorry.”

“I just,” but she was gone. Off to handle some business in another part of the hospital. And you just stood there like an idiot. A sad, sad idiot.

“Excuse me?” A voice called from behind you. It took you a few seconds to realize they were, in fact, talking to you. And you turned around, hand quickly wiping away the tears on your cheeks.

“You’re here for Spencer?” She asked, her blonde hair falling in front of her confused face.

“Yes,” you nodded. “Do you know what happened? Have you seen him?”

“I’m JJ,” she introduced herself.

“Oh, JJ, thank God,” you sighed. “I’m so glad you’re here. What happened?”

“I’m sorry,” she shook her head. “Who are you?”

You took a step back, the question cutting you a blade. “I’m - I’m [y/n]? Spencer’s [y/n].”

“[y/n]?” She repeated. “You - you and Spencer are dating?”

“Yes. We - yes. He - he didn’t tell you about me?”

Her face softened, the look of intense sadness on your face breaking her heart. “He was shot,” she said. “The bullet hit his neck. He lost a lot of blood. He’s been in surgery for a few hours.”

You covered your mouth, stiffling a quiet wail of misery. The tears were uncontrollable, pouring out before you could catch them. “I,” you stumbled. “I - I, I just.”

“Come on, why don’t you come have a seat with us? Let’s just sit down, okay?” JJ suggested, carefully putting her arm on the small of your back as she guided you to the waiting area. There, you met Morgan and Prentiss, who greeted you warmly despite having no idea who you were.

JJ let you rest your head on her shoulder, rubbing your arm as you sobbed quietly. You weren’t sure what you would do if you’d lost Spencer. If you lost the man that brought so much joy into your life in such a short amount of time. The man who filled your heart with love and heat each time you saw him, touched him, kissed him, heard his voice. Spencer. Your Spencer.

“He’s going to be fine, kid,” Morgan told you. “He’s tough.”

“You two were going out tonight?” Emily asked.

You gave a small smile. “Yeah,” you nodded. “We, um, we had dinner reservations.”

“You’ll get to dinner,” she replied. “Don’t worry.”

You couldn’t help but smile. Just a little. Despite all the pain, despite the confusion, the sickness, the sadness. Knowing that the people Spencer considered to be his family, completely and utterly accepted you was a major comfort. More significant than they’ll ever know.

“[y/n] [y/l/n]?”

You hopped up from your seat, JJ following your lead as you approached the doctor who’d called your name. “I’m [y/n]. How is he?”

“He’s going to be okay,” Doctor Chase nodded. “We had to call you in as his emergency contact. One inch to the left and it would’ve been bad. We would’ve needed you to make decisions regarding life support.”

You took in a deep breath of air, holding it before releasing it. Your hand held your chest, the relief washing over you like a wave. “Thank God,” you whispered. “Is he awake? Can I see him?”

“He’s awake, but it’d be best if you went in alone.”

You turned to JJ, who gave you a reassuring nod, and then you were on your way. Following Doctor Chase through the halls of the hospital, your heels echoed off of the walls. “He’ll be right in here. He’s medicated, so he may not be completely lucid, but he’s conscious.”

“Thank you,” you said. “Thank you so much.”

The doctor gave you a small nod before he headed off, leaving you outside of the hospital room. You took in another deep breath, hand on the door knob. You had to be strong, be strong for Spencer.

Then you saw him.

And the tears hit like a pile of bricks.

“[y/n],” he croaked out, his voice weak and his body limply laid on the bed. You eyed the bandage on his neck, water clouding your vision.

“What have I told you about getting shot?” You whispered.

He closed him eyes and gulped, sighing sadly. “Not to do it.”

“That’s right,” you nodded, stepping into the room, over to his bedside and taking a seat on the space near his leg. “I told you not to get shot, stabbed, beaten, or any variation thereof.”

“I normally listen to you.”

“Yes,” you whimpered. “Yes, you do.”

“D - don’t cry, babe, please,” he begged.

“I just, I get a call from a doctor and he’s saying I need to get here, and he’s talking life support, and - and emergency contact. Did you know I was your emergency contact?”

He nodded, “I should’ve told you.”

“And - and the team. I know them, but, but they don’t know me.”

“I just, I try so hard to keep this job away from you,” he said. “But if anything - if anything happened to me, I wanted you here. I needed you here.”

“Shh,” you cooed, leaning in to touch his face. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay, you hear me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” you commanded. “Don’t you dare apologize. You just get better. You just come home.”

He weakly gripped at your hand, attempting to pull it towards his mouth. You held your knuckles to his lips, and he applied a gentle kiss. You returned the favor.

“I am home,” he whispered. “I am home.”

[futures-tense]

Hi. Is bruises prompt still free for Bad Things Happen Bingo? If so, may I request it? I have an idea, but it you dont like it, dont feel obligate to write it 😊 the crew begin to notice frequent new bruises on TK. In different places. They begin to suspect that Carlos is not as a saint as he seemed to be. They keep a close eye on TK and Carlos. When asked about the cause of the bruises, TK evasively replies that it is his clumsiness, which makes them even more suspicious. They can't stand it anymore when one day they accidentally notice hand-shaped bruises on his neck and wrists. Carlos, backed against the wall, confesses a truth that is different than everyone expected. TK and Carlos just started BdSM experiments in the bedroom and TK likes it on the rougher side, especially when he starts having cravings for drugs.

TW: accusations of abuse (there’s no actual abuse but still, take care of yourself)

So I’m not super comfortable with the BDSM part BUT I did take the first part of the prompt and I used a bit of a,,, familiar storyline for some of you so I hope you like it!!

the blood on my hands (scares me to death)//3.4k

TK’s been off all day. Paul noticed it first (obviously) and now Judd wishes he hadn’t said anything at all. Because now-- after watching him a little more carefully-- he’s seen TK wince about a dozen times in the last three hours. He’s been wearing long sleeves. 

In the middle of August. 

In Austin, Texas. 

He tried to put it out of his mind. TK would talk when he’s ready, he thinks. And they all know how well he does when they press him on topics he’s not ready to talk about. 

So Judd tries not to think about it. Until he goes into the locker room. 

He turns the corner and runs a towel over his drying hair, glancing up at TK on the other side of the room. 

But he stops. 

The black and blue bruise coloring his shoulder stands out against his skin. It spreads to the top of his arm and TK winces as he pulls his shirt on. 

“Damn,” he says, making TK jump. “That’s a hell of a bruise you got.”

“Yeah,” TK mumbles. “What can I say; I’m a clutz.”

A knot twists in Judd’s stomach. That was barely believable. Which means that TK’s lying about how he got hurt. It could mean any number of things-- all of which Judd doesn’t want to think about.

“What’d you do?”

TK makes a face as if he hadn’t expected the question to come up. “I just… fell. Down the stairs.”

Judd raises an eyebrow, entirely unconvinced. “You fell down the stairs.”

TK nods but doesn’t look up at him. 

The knot tugs tighter. 

But before he can say anything, TK’s out the door. Judd watches him go, wringing the towel in his hands.

Paul and Mateo come in a moment later and he looks down. 

“What is that look for?” Paul asks but Judd just shakes his head. “Oh, so you’re going to be weird and ominous now too?”

Judd takes a breath but doesn’t respond. 

He prays he’s wrong.

____

Carlos:

Dinner?

Carlos:

I’ll cook

TK: 

Not tonight

Carlos: 

Tomorrow then?

TK:

Can’t, working

Carlos frowns at his phone. He knows for a fact that his boyfriend has the next day off-- they both do, he was kind of excited about it. Not to mention, TK hardly ever sends such short messages, and he’s canceled four date nights in the past month.

He clenches his jaw and climbs out of the car, slipping his phone into his pocket as he closes the door. 

His shift ended about twenty minutes ago and TK’s shift ends in an hour or so. And with the way TK’s been acting odd lately? Well, Carlos doesn’t see anything wrong with stopping by for a few minutes. 

Carlos adjusts his jacket and looks around the firehouse. He spots Judd in the kitchen first. 

“Hey, Judd,” he says with a smile. “Have you seen TK?”

Judd barely spares him a glance, already turning his back on him. “Meds on a call,” he says flatly, just before he turns toward the gym.

Carlos shoves his hands in his pockets uncomfortably. “Alright,” he mumbles. 

He sits at the counter, determined to be there when TK returns. Paul and Marjan come in a few minutes later. 

“Hey, Reyes,” Marjan says, making a beeline for the coffee maker. 

“Marj, that is your fifth cup today,” Paul says. 

“And?” She smiles then turns her attention back to Carlos. “Did you just get off?”

“A little while ago, yeah,” he nods. Paul offers him a cup of coffee but he shakes his head. “TK said he was working late today, so I thought I’d stop by on my way home.” 

Marjan makes a face. “No, he’s not.”

Carlos can feel his throat tighten. “That’s what he told me.”

It’s Paul’s turn to shake his head. “We invited him out with us but he said he had plans with you.”

Carlos has to look down-- any direction really-- because they’re sharing a look and giving him concerned looks-- which is exactly what he doesn’t need at the moment.

The roaring of the ambulance rumbles through the station as Nancy guides TK back into the bay. 

When they park it, TK jumps down and Carlos sees him clench his hand into a fist. He falls into easy banter with Nancy as they make their way to join them. TK grins when he sees him. 

“Hey, babe,” he says, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you said you couldn’t make dinner,” Carlos says quietly. “I thought I’d stop by.”

Marjan makes a face. “Hey, Paul, Nance, why don’t we go find Mateo and we can play doubles?”

“Yeah, Paul,” Nancy starts. “Why don’t Marj and I absolutely obliterate you and Mateo in foosball?”

The three walk away, already riling each other up. Tk watches them go with a quiet laugh but Carlos shifts in his seat. 

“So, Judd seems to be mad at me and you lied to Paul and Marjan.” He swallows. “And me.”

TK looks at him for a moment, then down at his hands. “I don’t know what’s going on with Judd and I don’t know what the others told you. But, Carlos, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Carlos wants to call bullshit but he doesn’t. TK reaches for his hand but he pulls back. “Why don’t-- we’ll talk at home.”

Carlos turns just in time to see TK’s face fall. 

“No, Carlos, wait.”

He stops, against his better judgment.

“I’m- I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Lying.” TK nods to himself. “I shouldn’t have.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow when he doesn’t continue. “That’s it?”

TK laughs helplessly. “What else are you expecting?”

He rolls his eyes and shrugs sarcastically. “I don’t know, TK, maybe an explanation?” TK purses his lips and looks off to the side. It’s his resigned look-- the one he makes when he doesn’t want to talk anymore. But Carlos isn’t giving up that easily. “Why did you lie to me? To Paul and Marj? What’s the real reason you can’t make it tonight?”

TK seems to consider something but evidently talks himself out of it. “That’s-- I can’t answer that, Carlos, please just drop it.”

This is it.

The one question he never thought he’d have to ask him. And he’s not sure he wants to know the answer. 

“Are you seeing someone else?”

TK hates the question as much as he does.

“God, no, ahuvi.” 

He tries to step close again but Carlos can’t. He doesn’t feel like he can trust him-- at least not right this moment. And he hates that. Because this is TK, the most caring and loyal person he knows. 

Or. He thought he knew. 

“Then what is going on?”

“Babe, please, just-”

His request is cut off by the alarm calling for the medical team. He sighs and curses under his breath. 

“Can we talk about this at home?”

Carlos scoffs. “Will you be there?”

He knows it’s uncalled for and he regrets the words immediately. The words make TK’s features twist in a way that Carlos never wants to cause again. He lingers a moment longer before going to the ambulance. 

Carlos pinches the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t know what to do or who to go to for advice. He might if he knew what was happening. But he’s been left out of the loop again and-- honestly? He’s getting pretty fucking sick of it. 

Continue Reading on AO3

[rubix-writings]

Punisher Pt. 10

Tenth part of Punisher. We’re halfway people. This is a Chicago PD/Fire imagine with an original character. I don’t own any of the plot points or characters from the show. Also, it doesn’t follow any particular season or sequence in the shows.

Series Summary: Josephine (Jo) never expected to find support and pure love when she left Los Angeles. She ran away to Chicago and was content with living an insignificant, hidden life. But everything changes when she walks into Molly’s to get a job.

Josephine (OC) x Jay Halstead

The italicized lines are internal thoughts of the character.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, teeth rotting fluff

I followed Voight’s advice to the letter, changed up my routines every day and had Hermann adjust my schedule at Molly’s. I wasn’t making the money on tips I used to with my closing shifts, but it’s necessary. I knew I made the right decision going to Voight as soon as I saw Jay. He knocked on my door the next night with a home cooked meal, he sat with me for a few hours giving me updates on all the things I missed. He came over every day after until I felt “well” enough to go back to work. It’s funny to think you can miss a place, but when I arrived back at Molly’s I was met with a warm welcome by everyone, instantly filling a longing I didn’t know was there. 

“Hey Jo, can you sign for the kegs out front? Make sure they know where to go,” Stella asks before disappearing into the back. I make my way out the front entrance of the bar and sign for the kegs of beer. The two large men start wheeling the beer to the back entrance, I pray that they move quicker. The wind is making goosebumps rise on my exposed skin, making me seriously regret not bringing a coat. My leg shakes as the men are wheeling back the last of the order. 

“Jo?” I turn and see Jay walking up. 

“Hi,” I can’t contain my smile. 

“What’re you doing out here, it’s freezing,” Jay takes off his coat and wraps it around my body. The warmth is immediate and the woodsy smell of his cologne dances across my nostrils. 

“You’re gonna get cold,” I try to protest, but Jay stops me from taking the jacket off and continues to rub my arms. 

“I wasn’t the one that was just sick for two weeks.” Oh right.

“Excuse me, can I get one more signature?” One of the workers asks. I grab the clipboard and sign my name, allowing them to leave to their next delivery. 

“I never got to thank you for bringing me dinner,” I say when I turn to face Jay. 

“You don’t need to, I think eating my cooking was hard enough,” he jokes.

“It was good!” 

“Oh yeah? You really liked that rice?” I laugh.

“Yeah how does someone mess up rice?”

“I don’t know!” I hug Jay, resting my head on his firm chest. His head rests on top of mine. I close my eyes and focus on his heartbeat. I slowly pull away and look up to Jay. His large hands move to rest on either side of my face, he strokes my cheekbones with his thumbs. Jay moves down towards my face slowly fluttering his eyes closed, I gradually met him halfway, closing my eyes at the last second. His lips firmly press into mine before our lips start to move more frantically. I grip his shirt desperately trying to extinguish any space between us. Jay’s soft lips are a sharp contrast to the stubble on his cheeks. I feel like my lungs are going to explode from lack of oxygen, but I lean in as soon as Jay pulls away, not wanting this moment to end just yet. We both reluctantly pull away, Jay rests his forehead on mine. I slowly release Jay’s shirt from my grasp, trying to control my breathing. 

“I should get back inside,” as much as I want to stay in Jay’s arms, I know Stella would come looking sooner rather than later and for right now I want to keep this between Jay and me.

“Yeah Will should be here any minute,” Jay pulls away a little more, looking in the eyes. His piercing blue eyes could melt anyone’s heart. I slip out of Jay’s jacket and hand it back to him before taking a few steps towards the entrance. 

“I’m closing tonight,” I blurt out. “Any chance you’ll lend a hand?” A bright smile spreads across Jay’s face.

“I can do that,” I match Jay’s smile, and then quickly make my way back into Molly’s. I pick up a few empties on my way to the bar.

“Everything go okay?” Stella asks while popping the caps off two beers. 

“Yeah, easy,” I say, avoiding eye contact. Luckily, Stella’s too busy to catch my blushing cheeks. 

I busy myself by filling a couple of orders and opening new tabs. Jay and Will enter the bar, most of the Intelligence Unit is at the bar and they grab seats on the stools next to them. 

“Hi Jojo,” Will snickers. 

“Hi Willy Billy,” Will’s smile falls and he looks at Jay. “Yeah two can play that game.”

“How could you? Your own brother?” Will gasps. Jay shrugs and smiles at me. I grab the brothers some beers and slide them across the bartop. I didn’t notice Will analyzing Jay and me, all I could think about is the kiss we shared outside. It was needy and passionate, all the pent up tensions finally released. 

“You two kissed!” Will announces. Jay and I snap out of it because of Will’s outburst.

“What?” Jay asks.

“You two finally kissed, or was it something more?” Will looks deep into his brother’s eyes. I look around the bar and see everyone staring, my heartbeat fills my ears, almost giving me a headache. 

“Will,” Jay warns.

“You’re giving me nothing,” Will turns his attention to me, his gaze is probing. “It was just a kiss, but…. But you want it to be more.”

“Will,” Jay warns again, everyone else on the other hand finds this exchange incredibly hilarious. 

“Alright, who owes who?” Will asks. Both Jay’s and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I watch stunned as people start exchanging cash, they mumble as they try to figure out who gets the payout. 

“Did you know about this?” I ask Jay. 

“No,” he runs his hand over his face, already exhausted by the night. 

“This is insane,” I whisper. Stella walks up to the group and realizes what’s going on. 

“Oh thank you! What’s my share?” She turns to Kevin and he puts some bills in her hand. 

“You too?”

“Yeah, and I think this shows how good of a friend I am because I was right.”

“I quit.”

“Haha yeah good luck with that,” Stella chuckles before heading into the office. 

Finally the last of the customers exit Molly’s leaving Jay and I in the bar. It was a night full of teasing and betrayal, the more of our friends that showed up at the bar the more the bet was brought up. Even Matt was in on it, he was mad we couldn’t wait another week otherwise he would’ve had the pot to himself. 

Jay is putting empty chairs on top of the tables as I finish wiping down the bar top. I move to start cleaning the booths against the wall. When I stand back up, Jay’s behind me rubbing my shoulders. 

“Are you feeling okay?” I lean back into his warmth. 

“Yeah, I feel really good,” I look back up at him. 

“I’m sorry about Will,” I laugh. 

“That was unexpected for sure, but in the end it made telling everyone easier,” I try to lighten the situation so Jay doesn’t punch out his brother the next time he sees him. 

“Still, it wasn’t his to tell,” he kisses my temple before grabbing the rag and cleaning the next booth. I follow him and grab the rag out of his hand to make him look at me. 

“I can think of a few ways that you can make it up to me,” I flirt. Jay grabs my waist and pulls me in between him and the table. 

“Yeah, I’m happy to oblige,” he leans down and kisses my lips. This time it’s slow and gentle. “Are you free Friday night?”

“I am, what do you have in mind?” I rest my hands on his chest. 

“I’m going to take you out, make it a proper first date,” my hands move to rest on his biceps. 

“First?”

“Yeah.”

“Some would say we’ve already had a first date.”

“When?” 

“When you came over to my place.”

“What, no, that wasn’t a date,” he says trying to think through the nights.

“Well there was food, and just the two of us talking,” I try to reason. “Well actually we’ve been on multiple dates already.” 

“No, it’s not a date unless I ask you, therefore those were not dates,” I smile. A glimmer of light catches my eye near Jay’s neck. A gold chain peaks out from his neckline. I slowly pull the chain out and run my thumb over the medallion. The details are so intricate, the name Saint Christopher is engraved into the metal. “It’s the saint of protection.”

“It’s incredible.”

“My mom gave it to me before I left for the war, she wore it everyday before that,” I tuck the necklace back into his shirt. 

“That’s a beautiful memory.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s ok to miss her,” he nods.

“I know,” he replies sweetly. “C’mon let’s get moving,” he pulls me away from the table and smacks my butt. 

“How sinful!” I joke. 

“I’ll show you sinful,” he says and begins to chase me around the empty bar. He finally grabs my waist, pulling me back to him. Jay kisses my face relentlessly causing me to scream out in laughter.

Taglist: @whit85-blog @bestillmystuckyheart @nocturnalherb16 @5sos-imagine @miranda0102 @thexplosivegirl @annalism

[kindnessisweakness2]

{DELUSIONAL - PART 7}

*Not my GIF *

Delaney smiled fondly at Jax as she watched him prepare dinner. "Not many people know I'm a good cook." Jax grinned at her. Kissing his cheek as she handed him a beer Delaney couldn't help but giggle. "I'll count myself lucky then babe". Watching over his shoulder she couldn't help but mess with him. "If I don't get food poisoning that is." Turning to face her with mock hurt on his face he placed his hand over his heart playfully. "That's really hurt my feelings Darlin'". Rolling her eyes Delaney shoved him gently. "I'm sure you'll survive." Pulling her close Jax couldn't help but kiss her lips softly. Since their kiss at the dance studio 2 days ago he couldn't keep his lips off of her. Even Gemma noticed it when they all went to Funtown. It was safe to say that the queen was pleased that they were becoming close and with all the affection her son was laying on Delaney. Delaney wasn't complaining about it either. She was loving having Jax close and couldn't bear to think about this all being over. Jax probably couldn't wait for this game to end. After all he did have crowds of beautiful women begging for a night with the Prince of samcro. Deciding not to ruin the night with overthinking Delaney decided to enjoy the time she had with Jax. Taking a seat at her kitchen table she turned to look out of the window ad the sun started to set over charming. Not even a few seconds later a brick came crashing through the glass catching delaney's face sending her toppling to the floor. She didn't even hear had scream her name as everything quickly went black.

Jax's heart dropped into his stomach as he saw the blood start to pool at the side of delaney's head. Not even bothering to chase down whoever did this Jax gently carried Delaney to his car. She was his first priority. She was the only thing that mattered right now.

30 minutes later, Delaney was awake and arguing with the nurses to let her go. Jax was stood at the far side of the room, quietly barking orders at prospects down the phone. "I'm fine. It was just a bump to the head." The blonde nurse rolled her eyes yet again. She was nearly red in the face from arguing with Delaney. Laying the last butterfly stitch to her cheekbone the nurse sighed clearly defeated by delaney's constant badgering. "Fine. You can go home. But only if someone stays with you. You can't be left alone." The nurse left the room as Delaney grinned at Jax as he made his way over to her. She finally got her own way. "You are one stubborn woman Delaney Louise Carter." Jax muttered as he held her face gently. Looking up into his crystal blue eyes delaney's grin got wider. "And isn't that exactly the thing you love about me Jackson Nathaniel Teller?" Jax kissed her gently whispering "i wouldn't have you any other way" against her soft lips. God he really was a dream. Helping her off of the hospital bed he threw his arm around her as they started to make their way towards the main doors of Saint Thomas. Jax couldn't help but worry that he nearly lost her today. This psycho was getting brave and he was going to pay when Jax hot his hands on him. He couldn't help getting stuck in his thoughts, but he never would of guessed in a million years what it would be that interrupted them.

"Jax?" The voice he hadn't heared in years made his blood run cold and his heart pang painfully. That voice only belonged to the one person who caused him more pain than anyone else in his life. Stopping dead in his tracks had turned to face her. She looked the same as she did when he left her and that made it even more painful.

"Tara" hearing the name made Delaney feel uncomfortable instantly. She knew the love he held for her. How she hurt him badly. Delaney couldn't help but think she was pretty and quickly came to the realisation that she could never compete with her. Taras eyed Jax's arm that hung around Delaney and it was painfully obvious that she was sizing her up. And as Jax's arm fell from around her she knew she didn't matter anymore. It was obvious. Jax couldn't take his eyes off of Tara. No matter what she did to him he still had love for her. You could see it in his eyes.

Delaney's heart broke as she realised what this meant and what she was going to have to do.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here you go guys! I'm so sorry it took so long to upload been going through some shit. As usual feedback and advice always welcome. Next part will be up shortly!

Love to you all, stay safe! 💕🍃

[ponds-puddle]

Day Out ~{Shinso}~ (4/??)

word count: 1790 

part one / part two / part three

SERIES MASTERLIST

- 

“So about the homeless man,” your friend Jirou said as she plopped on your bed. You huffed stubbornly at her comment.

“I told you that he’s not homeless.” 

“He never gets off on his stop,” she said dully, “Maybe because he doesn’t really have any specific stop so he just wanders around your neighborhood at night. Good job, Y/N. You have a homeless man for a stalker.” 

“Jirou, he isn’t stalking me. If he was, wouldn’t I have run into him a second time a lot sooner?”

“He’s good at what he does,” she drones before looking at you, “You’re not his first.” 

“Jirou, you’re so uncalled for.” 

“You’re uncalled for,” she scoffed lamely before dropping her head back onto the bed dramatically.

“Did you ever truly grow up past five? I don’t think I’ve seen you change a single bit from then on.” 

Jirou laughed at you, not phased by your comment. The two of you have such a strange but beautiful relationship. Rather than being sweet to one another, the two of you just constantly roast one another. It’s a lot more entertaining that way. 

Truth is that you’ve known Jirou all your life. The two of you grew up next to each other. The two of you had that perfect friendship thing. The windows in both of your rooms faced one another. The two of you were destined to be friends and no one could tell you two otherwise. 

“Seriously though, Y/N…” Jirou said stiffly. You turned curiously at the girl, “Are you sure you’re not putting yourself in any danger meeting him at night? My patrol isn’t too far away. I can always walk you home at nights.” 

“Jir,” you said sweetly, “I promise that I’ll be okay. If anything happens, the way to my house has lots of plants. So I’ll be fine.” 

“Do you think that he’d do anything?” 

The air seemed so thick, “No.” 

Jirou didn’t look at you, but your eyes never once left her. You were somehow very certain, almost one hundred percent certain, that Shinso wouldn’t hurt you. There was no reasoning behind your thoughts. But there weren’t any to think otherwise either. 

“I believe you.”

“Good, now can you, like, insult me or something now? That was way too serious for us.”

Jirou laughed, She definitely agreed. 

-

“Why are you here? It’s not the middle of the night,” you joked with the purple haired boy sitting in his usual seat on the train. You were glad you weren’t the only one who automatically went to those seats if they’re open. Something about them seemed comforting. They were familiar. 

“I do have a life, you know.” 

“Actually I did not know that,” you commented pointedly as you sat beside him, “I don’t know much of anything about you.” 

“Same here,” he said while turning to look at you, “I think that’s part of the fun, don’t you?” 

You wanted to agree with him on instinct, but you didn’t, “Actually I would like to know more about you. I feel like knowing you would be more fun, you know?” 

The way you said it was so innocent, but Shinso could tell that you were throwing a tiny dagger along with your words. You were serious about it. You were determined to be friends with him, and for a moment Shinso felt afraid of this smiling creature in front of him. So stubborn. But at the same time so irritatingly interesting. 

“Yeah,” he said in a puzzled tone, wondering what it was about you that was making his heart beat so fast right now. 

“You good?” 

“Yeah just… thinking,” he shook it off, finally looking you in the eyes, “It’s nothing.” 

God his eyes are beautiful. 

All your life you have surrounded yourself in varieties of colors. Everyday of your life was filled to the brim with vibrant and intense colors. But not as intense as the color of his eyes. They could almost compare to lavender, but you have never seen a shade of lavender sparkle the way his eyes do. Maybe it was the reflection of the stars and lights in his irises, but whatever it was made you rethink whatever you once believed to be your favorite color. When you were with him, his purple outshines every other color you’ve seen. 

“What are you thinking about?” Shinso asked you sweetly, leaning his cheek into his palm. He looked so cute with the way his face squished against his hand. You suppressed a giggle, instead just giving him the softest of smiles. 

“I really like the color of your eyes.” 

Shinso froze slightly, his eyes widening slightly at your confession. He allowed his expression to stray from the norm for just a second more before replacing it with his usual smirk. 

“I like yours too.” 

A bright blush invaded your cheeks, humoring Shinso. He didn’t comment on it however, not wanting you to cover it from him. 

“What are you doing today?” 

“Grocery shopping, you?” 

“I actually just got off work. I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do today.” 

“You could join me if you want?” 

“I wouldn’t be intruding?” 

Shinso picked up your work bag before standing up and holding his hand out to you. Your hand reached out and met his as if on instinct, allowing him to pull you up from your seat. 

“You wanted to get to know me right?” he asked smoothly, suavely moving a piece of hair behind your ear, “Now’s your chance.”

- 

“How old are you?” 

“24, you?” he replied, spinning the produce bag before placing it in his cart.

“23, and your questions can’t all be asking the same thing to me. That’s cheating.” 

He rolled his eyes, pointing at the apples behind you, “Three please. And it’s not cheating. Maybe I just like your questions?” 

“Make up your own,” you laughed, handing him the bag of apples you had packed. He gave you a quiet “thank you” before placing it in the cart.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically, drawing a laugh out of you, “What’s your favorite animal?” 

“Elephants!” you said excitedly. Shinso’s eyebrows raised at your enthusiasm, “Sorry, I just really like them.” 

“It’s your turn,” he laughed as he walked away with the cart, his hand coming out to hold onto your elbow. In the little time that he has known you, he’s realized how spacey you could get. He was sure if he didn’t keep his eye on you, you’d end up lost. He thought you were the cutest thing in the world. 

“Right,” you said with a little hum, unphased by him pulling you along, “What do you do for a living?” 

Shinso frowned. He couldn’t really tell you he was a hero. Not after he lied and said that he didn’t have a quirk. He stayed silent for a moment, pretending to be interested in a box of mac n cheese in his hand. 

“Shinso?” 

“Hm?” 

“What do you do for a living?” 

“Oh I-” 

“Shinso!” a loud voice broke through. He sighed in relief, not really sure what he was going to reply to that anyways. The relief didn’t last long, however. Not when he saw who had called him. 

“Kaminari,” he sighed, causing you to frown. Why did he seem so upset to see the boy? 

“I haven’t seen you in so long!” he dramatically hung himself on the boy, forcing him into a hug. 

“Think maybe it was on purpose?” 

Kaminari gasped, pulling away from the boy and holding his “broken” heart, “Shinso, after all we have been through? You wound me.” 

“Oh go short-circuit,” Shinso laughed, causing Kaminari to join in with him. You watched the two boys with a small smile on your face. You had never seen Shinso talk to anyone else before. He seemed so different with his friends than he does when he’s with just you. He’s meaner, but you can tell that it’s all jokes. You wonder what he would sound like when angry.

“Who is this?” 

“Leave her alone, Kaminari,” Shinso said with a straightened spine, knowing exactly how perverted his friend could act. You looked up at the stranger with a smile, not sure why Shinso had suddenly gotten so serious.

“Don’t listen to him,” you said as you stepped up to be stood beside Shinso, “I’m Y/N.” 

Denki looked between you and Shinso for a moment, “No way,” he gasped.

“Kaminari,” Shinso said warningly.

“Dude, she’s way cute,” he gushes, stepping closer to you. It didn’t feel threatening, but you could tell that Shinso wasn’t too happy with him advancing on you, “When’d you get yourself a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Shinso said stubbornly, beginning to look for a way out of this conversation. He was hoping Kaminari wouldn’t mention the whole hero thing. He wasn’t sure how he could talk himself out of that right now. 

“Then you’re single?” Kaminari’s eyes were now attached to you. You looked up at Shinso, seeing his uncomfortable features. A frown fell onto your lips, you didn’t like seeing him look like that. 

“No,” you lied, “Shinso is actually helping me pick out something to make for my girlfriend tonight. It’s our anniversary today. I’m a hopeless cook, but Shinso,” you placed your hands onto Shinso’s arm, causing him to look down at you, “is an absolute saint and my own personal hero and offered to help out. We’re actually in a little bit of a time crunch, so is it alright if we cut this short? I wanna get everything put out before she gets off work.” 

The farewells didn’t last long. However when Kaminari went in for a hug, Shinso gently pulled you to the side. You watched with a stifled laugh as the boy fell straight to the floor. You wanted to help the boy stand, but you were at a loss when Shinso took your hand and pulled you away from the loud blonde boy. 

“Sorry about that,” Shinso said gruffly, letting go of your hand. A small pout threatened your lips at the loss of contact.

“It’s fine, but you owe me dinner now.” 

Shinso looked down at you in surprise, only to see you staring straight ahead with a proud smile on your face. He smiled softly, “You sure your girlfriend won’t mind?” 

“The only girls I have in my life are my best friend Jirou and cat, Nakoma.” 

Shinso’s face broke out in a smile, “You have a cat?” 

Seeing the excitement on his face warmed your heart, “How about we have dinner at my place tonight? You can meet her?” 

He seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding, “Yeah I’d like that.” 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Eye of the Storm 8

Warnings: nonconsensual sex (series), unwanted touches, prolonged eye contact which makes me wanna believe in the Church and all it’s saint to ask for absolution.

This is dark!Thor and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a new servant at the palace of Asgard but the job isn’t so easy as you thought.

Note: Yay another chapter of the Asgardian bitch boys causing trouble for our reader (much like @lokislastlove​ is causing trouble in my dms)

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your days with Loki passed swifter than those with his brother. Your work was mostly uninterrupted as Loki left early and returned in the late afternoon with some tasks to attend to as he ate dinner. His orders were few as you brought his meals without prompting and he was content to his privacy upon bathing and retiring. 

In the time you spent as the Prince's chambermaid, you began to think it far preferable. Even if you were a pawn in his game, his treatment almost atoned for his purpose.

It had been less than a week since you had last seen the king and since Loki insisted that the king marry, it was his responsibility to see it through. Every single detail. It was Thor’s way of punishing his brother’s impudence. As the queen had arrived days early, the wedding was pushed forward. No longer scheduled for the day after her planned arrival, it was to be the day of. 

On the day of the nuptials, you brought up Loki's breakfast and he was already awake. He ate at his desk as he flipped through a ledger, an emerald robe around his slender figure. You stood by the door, ready to clear his plate when he was done.

He turned to you as he wiped his hands and stopped you from stepping forward as he turned a palm out to you.

"You know what day it is?" He asked.

"The day of the wedding, your highness," You answered.

"It is," He smiled as he stood and crossed to the large wardrobe against the wall. He pulled open the right door and reached inside. "All the palace staff will be hard at work, in fact I did have to pull a few hands from the streets to fill in the holes in the roster." He turned back, a length of forest green silk hung from his grasp. "My footman Bradin will continue to see to my brother and so I shall require you to act as my cup bearer."

"Cup bearer?" You echoed. "But--"

"Firstly, you must put more effort into holding that tongue," He warned. "Secondly, it is a formal occasion, not some feast, so you shall stand by, diligently, and keep my cup full. I have faith I should be wanting for wine quite often."

"Yes, your highness," You dipped your chin in deference.

"And so you shall wear my colours," He neared with the dress, "I shall provide you a belt as well and you might forgo that stained monstrosity," He pointed to your apron. "Your duty is simple, I've seen you faced with far greater. You will serve me and you will keep silent. Understood?"

"Yes, your highness," You answered.

Loki had a way of speaking which was gentle yet patronizing. He expected what he said to be heard and his desires to be appeased. He was far more subtle than his brother but in a way, it suggested he was far more dangerous.

He held out the garment and you took it from him. You folded it over your arm as he adjusted the belt of his robe and gripped his lower back as he stretched. He turned away, seemingly done with the conversation.

“You may clear the dishes and go change,” He commanded as he strode to the door of his bath chamber. “I expect you ready within the hour. Do await me in the receiving chamber. You might sit on the balcony and enjoy the sunlight in my absence.”

“Your highness,” You accepted and he disappeared through the door.

Those times when you left upon your own had become so foreign and were just another facet of serving Loki which felt strange. You couldn’t gripe however, even if that gnawing in the back of your mind never quite let up. It was like limbo. You didn’t expect to be in the prince’s employ forever and the inevitability that the king would put his foot down made you ever uneasy. It was only a matter of time and the minutes, hours, and days did seem to move quickly.

🌩️

When Loki found you on the balcony staring down at the ground far below, he frightened you. You turned to him and bowed your head. He was dressed in a black jacket trimmed in a similar gold to that around your waist. His dark attire made him look even taller and his green eyes seemed to glow as they carried their usual imperious glimmer. They took you in and he arched a brow.

“Presentable,” He remarked. You didn’t expect anything more as he flicked two fingers in a signal for you to follow him as he swept back through the archway. “The ceremony shall begin shortly. You will go to the feast hall and aid the other servants in the last of the arrangements as I ensure that the bride and groom make it to their vows.”

You nodded, thankful not to to be forced to sit through the long and tedious wedding rites. You’d heard that nobles tended to take hours to read them aloud whereas peasants could be married in a matter of minutes.

He spun back to you and brought his hands up just before your shoulders. You stopped short as he framed you with his fingers and squinted. He snickered as his facade finally cracked.

“You do know my brother is going to be mad at the sight of you,” He slithered. “Oh, I can’t help myself though. He has been rather unbearable in your absence. More than usual.”

You pursed your lips and lowered your lashes. A servant would never dare speak ill of any noble, even if humoured by another.

“Don’t you fret, he will have a wife to keep him in line and she is not the type to abide his nonsense,” Loki assured and turned once more as he led you across the room. He opened the door himself and ushered you through to the corridor. “Oh my,” He shut the door behind him and hovered his hand just beside your arm as he looked at you once more, “I did a terrible job at guessing. It is rather… snug.”

“It fits,” you assured him as you touched the silk across your stomach. “Thank you, your highness.”

“So long as you can pour wine, I suppose it does not matter,” He said. “Well, my dear, you best be off and I must hurry if I am to meet the cleric. Ugh, I do despise weddings.”

He waited until you moved to part. You listened to his footsteps mirror your own as they faded down another corridor. Soon enough you could no longer hear them and as you reached the stairs, you paused. You weren’t stupid enough to trust Loki but you truly couldn’t guess what he was up to.

🌩️

The feast hall was a flurry of activity. Instead of the long benches formerly facing the trestles, each guest was to be seated in their own cumbersome yet elaborate chair, with only a few of the further tables lined with cushioned stools. The golden cutlery, freshly polished was laid out carefully, and silk streamers were braided and twisted along both tables and columns.

Melora was among the hive of workers. She looked you up and down as you helped cover the last table with an ivory table cloth trimmed in silver and red. The king’s chair would be hung with his sigil and the new queen’s would wear her own.

“We’re all very curious about what has become of you. We only ever sight you when you’re sleeping or waiting on the cooks,” She said. “I see the king does treat you well.”

“It is the prince’s generosity,” You assured her. “I’ve since been reassigned.”

“Pity,” She gave a sarcastic frown. “I’ve recently been placed in a new posting as well. I get to sweep the upper floors now, I might just see you upon your own duties.”

“Perhaps,” You smiled, shrugging off the tinge of envy in her tone.

You carried on and found yourself in a sweat as Agnes called for the servants to assemble in the corridor. The high collar of the dress was damp, though even your bare arms felt smothered from your excess. As before, servants were selected to be servers and you were sent to stand at the table just to the left of the marriage dais. 

Loki would sit there with several of the high lords, a generous vantage of the bride and groom. You were suddenly nervous as the other women lined up with their ewers and a silence seeped into the airy hall. It was as if every single servant was holding their breath in anticipation.

When at last there was a sign that the feast was about to commence, you stood rigid and stared at the door along the other end of the hall. Your head snapped back however as another opened opposite it, hidden just behind the couple’s dais. 

You watched as a woman entered, her skin a rich brown and her eyes as dark as onyx. She wore a bejeweled scarf along her hairline, a swath of braids overflowing beautifully down her back. She walked with shoulders back and head high, the king emerged just behind her. Neither appeared happy.

You looked away at once, your eyes on the chair before you, where the prince would sit. The woman, the queen you assumed, Calla, whispered something as a chair scraped, followed by another. You felt the heat of another’s gaze and ignored it. Don’t look, don’t look. You knew it was Thor watching you, even with his new wife right beside him.

The king cleared his throat. “Bradin,” He called to the footman who shut the door they’d come through, “You may permit my guests to enter and have the kitchens commence with serving.”

Bradin voiced his acquiescence and descended from the dias to march across the hall. He had the doors opened and announced the commencement of the wedding feast, though all you could hear was the crowd without buzzing with impatience. You tilted your head and looked down to the double doors as the nobles began to pour in, you kept your attention on them to keep from acknowledging the king.

Loki appeared at the end of the table though you hadn’t seen him amid the influx. He traipsed along the empty chairs and dropped into his with a flourish. He let out a sigh and reached for his goblet, all courtesy for other guests was gone. He held up his cup, an emerald shone from his middle finger.

“Dear maid,” He called over his shoulder. “I daresay such tedium did make me thirsty.”

You stepped forward and poured. Loki turned his cup as you finished and glanced over at you. He leaned back in his chair as he craned to see you.

“I do like that colour,” He mused. “You might keep that dress.”

“Thank you, your highness,” You lowered your chin and set down the ewer before stepping back.

Loki sat straight and watched the other nobles as they searched around for their seats, directed by the servants in livery appointed to the task of sorting the bodies. It was some time before all had stilled and yet they continued to chatter. The ruckus continued until a horn blew from the front of the hall and all looked to find their king standing beside Bradin who held a twisted golden horn.

Thor squared his shoulders and peered staunchly around the room, his subjects in communal awe and shame. He barely looked a man on his wedding day. 

“I will make it brief as we’ve all been so impatient for this feast,” Thor began. “So I will do no more than welcome my wife and queen, Calla, to her new kingdom and home. May the fates make our marriage a long and prosperous one.”

He raised his glass to Calla and drank. Fandral stood to your right and cheered, encouraging the rest of the nobles to break out in an uproar, clinking their cups and hollering. Thor sat and his wife attempted a smile at him. You wondered how he’d so quickly built such a wall between them as the woman hid her irritation with a sip of her own wine.

Servants appeared with trays full of food and the frivolity began. Guests were all too happy to indulge in both drink and roasted elk. Loki picked at his plate as he seemed disinterested in much of the affair. He sent the occasional glance to his brother, you suspected to make sure he had not riled his wife, and then returned to poking at his supper.

He placed his fork down and beckoned you forth with a finger. He grabbed his cup and held it for you to fill. You took the pitcher and poured carefully. You felt a brush along your thigh and then fingertips pressed to your hip. You looked down as Loki gripped your hip and purred a thank you.

The pitcher hit the lip of the cup and you spill some onto the prince’s dark trouser. You righted the jug and set it down as you reached for the cloth napkin untouched on the table.

“I’m so sorry, your highness,” You sputtered. “I didn’t--”

You began to daub at his tunic hem where crimson droplets had speckled and your hand thoughtlessly slipped lower as you tried to mop up the rest in his lap. He grabbed your hand and held it against his crotch, just for a moment, then slowly nudged it away.

“Now, now, your thoroughness does exceed propriety,” He was smirking as you recoiled and his green eyes flitted over to the royal dais. “What shall people think?”

Your gaze followed his and you found Thor watching you. His expression told you he had witnessed the entire disastrous encounter. You wrung the napkin in your hands and apologized once more before you stepped back against the wall. Loki took another napkin and chuckled as he wiped himself dry.

You bit your lip as you stared at the legs of the prince’s chair. You wanted to dissolve into air. Wanted to be nothing. You fought not to show your distress. 

“Oh, my brother is a simple man,” Loki spoke over his shoulder, “Even a wife cannot distract him so long.”

You looked up again. Loki nodded to the royal table and once more you dared to peek. The king had one arm around the back of his wife’s chair and the other fought hers in her lap. He groped her thigh as he pressed his lips to her cheek. His assault was out of place as he barely seemed to notice her at the same time as his eyes clinged to yours. As your gaze met his, he grinned and hugged Calla until she slapped his arm.

“Oh, this might have been a disastrous mistake,” Loki sneered. “But it is no longer my mistake.”

You shook your head and glared at Loki. You weren’t surprised that this marriage was much more than political ploy for him but you were repulsed by how easily he used those around him. You were a servant, you were meant to be used but Thor? His own brother? For all your distaste of the lecherous king, you couldn’t help but pity his familial binds.

“More wine,” Loki called as he raised his cup again. “And this time, do try not to make such a mess.”

You came forward and filled his cup again. Your eyes went back to the dais without thinking. Thor still watched you and his grin only grew as he caught your gaze. The hand not thrust between his wife’s legs went to the back of her head and he turned her forcefully. He pushed his lips to hers, the entire time he never looked away from you. 

You weighed the pitcher and lowered your head.

“Your highness, I should fetch some more wine,” You raised the ewer as you spoke.

“Oh, please do,” Loki bid. “Before our king decides to consummate his marriage before the entire court.”

🌩️

The rest of the feast went on much the same. Loki kept finding reasons to call for more wine and his fingertips found new places to dance as his eyes taunted his brother. Thor was trouble enough as he harassed his own wife who was less than impressed by her new husband. You wondered if it were too late for her to absolve the union.

Thor and Calla’s departure marked the end of the day and at last the guests could retire, many drunk and stumbling. You were starting to think they cared more for the nine courses and casks of wine than their own king.

You followed Loki through the corridors, weaving past the inebriated and the loitering. He seemed little affected by his indulgences or the evening as a whole. Yet the more you stared at his shoulders, you found yourself wholly irritated by him and the royal will. 

You were tired of it all; you didn’t want to be another plaything for these spoiled brats, you’d only come to sweep and change linens. You were entirely ill-fit to do both.

Loki swept into his chambers and you closed the door behind him. He went to the chaise and sat heavily, leaning on his hands as he looked at you and smirked.

“What a night. More amusing than I could have expected.” He said.

You didn’t say anything. You stared back at him and he lifted a brow.

“What is it? You do seem to be holding something back, dear maid?”

“No, your highness,” You lied as you folded your hands together. “I am merely awaiting my next task.”

“I prefer boldness to impertinence,” Loki’s smirk fell, “So I suggest you speak whatever has turned you so sour.”

“I am only curious, shall I ready your bed? Draw you a bath?” You hissed, filled with a haughty breath. “Or perhaps you are more like your brother than you would admit and you’d prefer me on my knees?”

Loki blinked and his lips parted. He nodded and hummed as he considered you. He stood, slowly. His steps were deliberate as he neared and stopped before you. He reached up and played with the collar of the dress around your neck. He leaned in and lowered his voice.

“Not tonight.” He said, “This has been quite the day. You are exhausted. You are not thinking.” He took your chin between his index and thumb and made you look him in the eye. “I command you to go and rest for there will soon be another day upon us and much work to do still.”