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chaoticbardlady99 · 7 months

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Lethal Woman: Chapter 5 (GN! Reader x Astarion)

Note: I know a lot of people don't necessarily read this piece of my work, but for the people who do, I'm sorry for the wait! This one is kinda angsty and still digs into the character's background. I want to create a Durge x Astarion type of relationship rather than a Tav x Astarion type of relationship so the character has some trauma.

Also this character is my way of working through my own traumatic experiences so I guess sorry????

CW: Violence, Gore, mention of Child/Teen SA (very very brief), death, torture, PTSD, murder, dissociation, and panic attacks.

Background- You are a Nightmask Death Bringer who was kidnapped by a Nautiloid Ship. Along with 6 strangers, you search Faerun for a cure for the Tadpoles in your heads- before it’s too late.

Chapter Six

You have never enjoyed verbal confrontation- not because you weren’t good at it, but because it feels like a waste of time when it’s so much easier to throw knives at the problem. You know that it comes from a place of survival- arguing with Dahlia always ended in you being tortured for however many days or nights she felt like you deserved. You learned to stop arguing after the first few months of your training and just do what Dahlia told you to do.

The only verbal confrontations you have engaged in recently was during your assignments, but they were always brief and forgotten quickly.

However, your argument with Astarion three days ago has consumed your every waking thought.

You honestly weren’t sure what chain of events had led to the explosive discussion involving confronting the three Goblin Leaders when the day had started so typically.

You and your companions (minus Astarion) all agreed that going to the grove to fight Kagha is a priority and that they couldn’t allow the Shadow Druids to take over the grove. Astarion, however, hadn’t seen it that way. He kept insisting that it was a waste of time, resources, and energy. You didn’t mind the bitching at all- you weren’t necessarily thrilled about “saving the day” either and if it were just adults you would walk away from the whole ordeal- except there are children who need to be protected.

It’s your one and only rule- you do not abandon children in need. You don’t want anyone to ever fall into the wrong hands like you had. Eventually, Astarion stopped being huffy.

The fight had erupted quickly and Kagha had managed to slip into the shadows unnoticed in the midst of the chaos. You had barely seen her in time when you realized she was going to run Astarion through with a stake.

You had never sprinted so fast in your entire life as you put yourself between him and Kagha, grabbing the stake that was mere inches from your chest. You would have felt entirely victorious if she hadn’t then stabbed you all the way through with the shortsword she had attached to her belt- twisting it deeply into your abdomen until you release the stake. You feel her pull the sword out before stabbing you through your chest with the sharpened wood.

You had always thought stabbing a vampire with a stake as a tried and trued method of killing them was stupid- anyone would die if they were stabbed hard enough with a WOODEN FUCKING STAKE.

Maybe Dahlia was right- maybe being attached to people is a bad idea because you hadn’t even taken a good look at Kagha before you ran (which is reckless and not how you were trained to fight).

You had heard Shadowheart scream your name and saw two flaming hands go past your face as they consumed Kagha. The black dots in your vision had been followed with the unpleasant numbness that you knew all too well.

The fear sank into your bones like an anchor. Your breathing had begun to speed up and you felt the panic rip through you as you were being dragged away- unpleasant images flash in your mind and you started to thrash against the person holding you. You began screaming bloody murder and you clawed at the air like a trapped animal. You could barely hear the person’s voice over your looping thoughts and racing heart.

No, no, no, no, no. Please. I’ll listen. I’ll do anything, just don’t kill me. Don’t leave me here. I’ll do better. I’ll be better!

You hadn’t known until the end of the battle that Astarion had been the one carrying you away and had to hold you down as Shadowheart and Nettie came rushing to your aid after the final enemy went down.

You could hear two voices trying to snap you out of whatever fear driven fog you were in, but you were still choking on your own air, floating away in space. Disconnected. Disassociated. You felt the tadpole wiggle behind your eyes, but you were too far gone in your head to even register it.

Dahlia had killed and resurrected you a few times as a punishment. Sometimes she would leave you out in the sun for a few days before resurrecting you- the process of your skin, organs, muscles, and tendons repairing themselves after being eaten by critters and bugs is a different kind of pain- one you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. What was even worse was that Dahlia eventually found out how to bring you back just enough that you were aware of the vermin desecrating your body, but not enough for you to do anything about it- forced to feel yourself becoming nourishment for the creatures in the forest as you struggled to survive mentally.

Dahlia threatened to turn you into her spawn if you didn't remain half way in your body until she came back to get you. You knew her threat was serious because she had taken you coffin shopping after the first time she killed and resurrected you. You had gone for a wood one so that the endeavor could be over with, but Dahlia instead made you lay down in every coffin on display in the showroom- ultimately picking a gaudy, lockable, and iron coffin for you. You were 13-years-old.

Dahlia enjoyed driving you to the brink of insanity- only to come back and be your savior or your villain. Somehow she had convinced you that it’s entirely up to you what version of her you received, but it never mattered how well you listened sometimes. She told you you wouldn’t know when she would decide you were past the point of no return and no longer had any use for you as a Deathbringer. Thank the Gods she wanted to make you a Deathbringer more than she wanted you to be her spawn.

You weren’t sure when Nettie had forced an herb into your mouth that calms you down; you had eventually come back to yourself just enough to stop fighting her and Shadowheart’s efforts to heal you.

Karlach was sitting next to your head and was talking about nothing and everything. Astarion had sat himself on the staircase nearby and you could feel his eyes boring into you as you flinched away and hissed from the healers’ touch. You tried to make yourself smaller, your anxiety getting worse by the minute. It wouldn’t bother you usually, but you weren’t of sound mind in that particular moment.

As you became more alert, you made eye contact with Astarion and you were shocked to see him staring at you with anger and grief in his eyes.

You hadn’t known (and still didn’t know) that Astarion had been in your head using the tadpole to try to snap you out of whatever hell you were in and he had seen all of it- every last thing Dahlia did to you. The time she hired a man to violently take your virginity after your first moon blood at 14, the resurrections, the priests of Loviatar that would come for days on end to beat you until you wanted to die, and Tessa. Poor, sweet, beautiful Tessa with her mangled corpse and heart being eaten.

The walk to camp had thankfully been an easy one. Gale had thankfully had dinner ready by the time your group came back and you sat around the campfire to have dinner with the others. Astarion sat next to you and you couldn’t help but notice how rigid he was. He would usually have his leg touching yours and he would lean in to whisper some snide remark in your ear about whoever was talking- forcing you to suppress laughter as to not bring attention to the two of you.

Except for tonight apparently- he hadn’t even spoken to you the entire time and made sure there was a considerable amount of distance between you and him. Then the argument happened.

Wyll and Gale had brought up the plan to take out the Goblin leaders and find Halsin. They had gathered information about the leaders at the grove from Zevlor and had a plan in mind.

Wyll suggested that everyone split up so that more ground could be covered faster and it would prevent anyone from burning out since they wouldn't be participating in three (possibly four) separate battles.

“So I was thinking that Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion would take on Minthara. Myself, Gale, and Lae’zel will take on Dror Ragzlin,” Wyll paused before looking at you, “and if you are up to it in the next three days- I think it would be best if you kill the Priestess and then jailbreak Halsin alone.”

“That way, we can all remain somewhat under the radar while we are gathering information regarding the Absolute and their Cultists,” Gale chimed in, “and hopefully we will get substantial information before you charge into battle with Halsin.”

You pondered their vision and it made sense to you. Priestess Gut would be an easy kill and you can’t imagine that the Goblins guarding Halsin will be much of a challenge either. Except you were unsure of how much better you would feel within 3 days.

“I don’t have a problem with it,” you said slowly, “does anyone ob-”

You didn’t even get a chance to finish before Astarion began ripping into Wyll and Gale’s plan- specifically the part about you being alone. He had stood up and gotten into Wyll’s face as he rose to meet the other man's eyes

“What kind of moronic plot is that,” Astarion hissed, “they’ve been injured you ignorant fucks.”

“Astarion,” you said with an edge to your tone.

He whipped around with that same anger and grief he had looked at you with earlier.

“You honestly believe you’ll be ready in three days to take on an Absolute Priestess and a group of Goblins by yourself?”

“Yes, in fact, I do,” you stood up, your voice firm, “I’ve been hurt worse and been able to keep fighting after one day. What happened today-”

He cut you off with a growl, “I knew you were naive, Darling, but I didn’t realize how dense you are.”

You frowned and said in a whisper, “I don’t know what the word means.”

“Simple-minded, brainless, dull-witted,” he retorted, “must I continue or are you educated enough to understand what I’m trying to say.”

You were not made to be loved- only to kill, die, and serve.

You felt your brain disconnect from your body as you swallowed down the emotions. You watched as something in his eyes changed, but you had begun walking away towards your tent. You heard Karlach scold him, but you were already shaking it off- like you said, you’ve experienced worse before and have been able to keep going the next day.

It didn't change the fact that his words had broken you- he knew that not being able to read or write was a sore spot for you. It was also something you didn’t want to publicize to your other companions. You had been staying up together at night- him reading to you and you listening- making the occasional comment or asking a question. Sometimes you just listen to him tell you about Cazador and Baldur’s Gate. If you fall asleep, he doesn’t move you- instead he sits next to you until you wake up and you walk back to camp together.

You had thought those moments were sacred and important to him like they were to you. You were ashamed to discover it had been an act the whole time and you had been naive enough to fall for it.

Over the next three days, you avoided him like the plague and he avoided you too. Your nightmares have come back in full force now that your nightly ritual has ceased. Your injury has healed almost entirely despite the occasional soreness, but you are so tired you are barely present as you and your companions walk towards the Goblin Camp.

Karlach is your angel from the Hells today as she keeps your spirits high with her bright demeanor.

“Soldier, I am so excited for you to see my infernal engine in action,” she puffs out her chest with pride, “Dammon’s explanation doesn’t even begin to do it justice- even if he says a lot of pretty words with that nice mouth of his.”

“Thank you for that Karlach,” you say with a snort, “been imagining what other talents his mouth has?”

You begin to cackle as Karlach turns even more red before giving you a shove.

“Ughhh have mercy on me! He’s just so pretty and his voice!,” she whines with a dramatic, angsty sigh, “A girl can dream.”

“Or a girl can put on her big girl panties and ask to fuck him already.”

“Oh, SHUT UP you vulgar-!” she puts you in a headlock and scratches the top of your head with her knuckles- effectively ruining your hair, but putting the biggest smile on your face.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion watches you laugh and dick around with Karlach. He feels the corners of his lips tease into a small smile before he begins to frown again. He notices the dark circles under your eyes and the slight drag in your step, but he doesn’t even know where to begin if he was to approach you.

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s missed your presence and your nightly rendezvous together. Truth be told, a part of him is fearful that he’ll never be able to have those moments with you again.

His anger had been misdirected at you that night at the fire. He had been so angry with himself (and those dipshits, Wyll and Gale) that he had taken it out on you. Instead of asking you to take care of yourself or refusing to let you go alone, he decided to publicly shame you.

The first night you didn’t show up at your agreed-upon spot had twisted his heart and no matter how much he tried to ignore it, the feeling came back the second and the third night too.

He hasn’t cared for someone like this in the last two centuries and he hates it. The last three days had been hell- he followed you every time you left camp to go hunting, check traps, etc. He would give you your privacy of course if you were going to bathe in the river, but even then he would anxiously look around camp until you came back. He tells himself it’s because he knows you are his best chance at being free of Cazador- that he is merely worried for your safety and cares because without you, he doesn’t stand a chance.

Then there is the part of him that has begun to crave your company just as a companion and he enjoys the friendship between you. This part of him feels like just being your friend will never be enough.

He refuses to admit his plan may be falling apart, despite it barely beginning. Thankfully, his feelings of self-loathing are keeping him preoccupied.

He despises himself for being so blind to the fact that you and your nightmares were not from the tadpole, but from the abuse inflicted upon you by that wretched woman- Dahlia. Even thinking her name made him see red and filled him with bitter rage.

He remembers the night he told you about Cazador burying him alive for a year. He remembers how you had said you understood how he felt and how he had gotten upset with you. You didn’t correct him- didn’t tell him that you have been in a similar situation. He doesn’t know which is worse- being buried in shadows, confined for a year or being left out in the sun to slowly rot and be eaten away.

He wishes you had corrected him, but maybe you felt like he couldn’t protect you due to his own history of abuse. Maybe he had made you feel like your pain didn’t matter to him.

Then, when you began thrashing around in his arms, he had never felt more powerless as he watched you disappear inside your own head like he has done many times. He ground his teeth every time you flinched away from Nettie and Shadowheart. His mind insisted on reminding him of how you looked at him with so much fear and rage while he held you down; how it felt watching your memories- your pain- being ripped open all because you decided to protect him. Again.

Then his attempt to protect you failed because he ultimately pushed you away, but maybe that is for your own good too. However, you pushing him away has not changed his plan for today’s fight.

He will not be going with Shadowheart and Karlach. He had initially planned on approaching them about this, but they came to him first- asking him to hang back with you, undetected, then meeting up with them later. Karlach and Shadowheart told him that they were just as upset with Gale and Wyll’s plan and were going to object before he stepped in.

He’s the only one who has a ring of invisibility and the stealth to keep you from suspecting you are being ‘babysat’ as he had overheard you call it when Karlach had suggested she come with you.

The goblins outside of the camp had been easy to bypass- Astarion had even convinced the goblin to kiss his shoe (which earned a hushed laugh from you that made him hopeful). Astarion watched as you caught and helped the Owlbear Cub escape, but on the opposite side of that coin, you managed to get Volo in more trouble.

You convince Wyll to hold off on the plan until you are able to free Volo- seeing as leaving a famous bard to die at a Goblin Camp would not bid well for the Night Masks and that would not be doing you any favors. Astarion was shocked when Wyll expressed understanding.

Astarion, Shadowheart, and Karlach go with you as Gale, Wyll, and Lae’zel search for Dror Ragzlin.

The rescue mission quickly turns into another rescue mission when your small group stumbles across a man being tortured by Goblins. Astarion is quick to convince the goblins that they were being summoned elsewhere and, at your behest, he frees the battered man after he gives you more information about the Nightsong.

The Goblins had mentioned a man in the next room over so Astarion begins to walk in that direction and you follow him closely- your hand hovering over the hilt of your dagger as you scan the area cautiously.

Astarion rounds the corner and sees a man that looks like he needs more iron in his diet. The all black garb was not helping and honestly? Neither is the haircut.

The man turns and scans the group before his eyes settle on you. Astarion feels his stomach turn as the man gives you a wickedly happy grin. Astarion moves closer to you and eyes the man cautiously, leering at him in the process.

“I remember you,” the man says, “you’re Dahlia’s little brat, are you not? I remember the first time we met- your screams were positively delicious.”

Astarion hears your breath hitch. You are frozen in place, fingers trembling slightly as you fix your posture and take a deep breath. Astarion watches mournfully as you lose yourself in your head.

“Hello Abdirak.”

Abdirak’s smile grows even wider at your empty greeting.

“What a blessing it must be- for us to meet again, Rowan. Won’t you join me in worshiping My Lady?”

Shadowheart pipes up, “I didn’t know you were into such things Rowan. I would love to see a demonstration.”

“Absolutely not,” Astarion hisses.

“I’ll do it.”

He whips around to look at you as you walk up to the wall. He watches as you take each hit, but you are goading the man the entire time. The throws get more and more painful to watch and he hears Karlach take sharp breaths every time an ax sticks in your back. You walk back over and let Shadowheart heal you as she praises you for your vigor. Astarion uses every last bit of restraint he has to not punch Shadowheart in the jaw.

You look distant as you drink a healing potion from your pack before turning back to Abdirak as he spouts on about his wonderful “memories” of worshiping with you. Astarion's hands go to his dagger as he gears up to kill the man.

A flash of movement from your direction prevents him from moving forward.

Astarion wasn’t prepared for you to cut the man’s throat so violently in one quick motion. Blood pours from Abdirak’s neck and out of his mouth as he chokes. His eyes are wide with fear as you push him on his back- your eyes bright, crimson red and consumed with indifference. Abdirak chokes and looks at you with pleading eyes, but you take a step back as the rats begin to claw and eat at him. The whole endeavor is disgusting and horrific- Astarion could not be more proud to know you. His strangled cries are cut short as he finally succumbs to his wounds.

Without saying anything, you turn on your heels and stalk to the next room, Astarion quickly in tow. You free Volo before Astarion can even enter the room- the Goblin that had taken Volo away dead on the floor.

You come out of the room and make eye contact with him. Your eyes are blank and your face is emotionless. You turn away from him and stalk off in the direction of the priestess. He gives you a decent head start before casting the spell and sneaking in behind you as Priestess Gut closes the door.

Let the bloodshed begin.

#astarion x reader #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x you #bg3 spoilers #astarion x tav #bg3 #astarion romance #baldurs gate astarion #astarion #karlach #astarion ancunin #astarion x gender neutral reader #astarion x gn! reader #astarion x gn! tav

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bearhugsandshrugs · 6 months

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Genuine question were Karlach and Gortash a thing? She said she loved and trusted him but he sold her :( I still love my boy but :(((

A thing as in romantically involved? I don't think so. I've always read that more like: He hired her, they became friends, she made him better and he made her worse, until one day he decided his own personal goals were more important than her goals.

So he sold her to Zariel, and I think he's bitter about the fact that it took her so long to get back (what a disappointment it must have been for him – disappointment because if he can't blame her for not getting out sooner (thinking: I sold her there but she'll be back in no time), he would have to blame himself for Karlach's decade in hell, and he can't stand that)

What the Karlach storyline tells me is that Gortash was in denial about his own feelings and the impact of his actions on others long before any Dead Three plan. Long before he met Durge, if you want to throw in Durgetash, too. To me, this is why he was so susceptible to and why he actively sought out Bane.

Bane, the god of tyranny but also law and order, the authoritarian belief that if you work hard you can make it, that's Gortash selling Karlach to Zariel, that's Gortash creating the Absolute plan, that's Gortash turning refugees away at the city gates.

For Durge, that's also Gortash saying "we agreed not to meddle in each other's affairs" even if that meant Orin tries to kill and then proceeds to torture Durge (I really question Gortash's actions here with major sideeyes. Really. But that's for another ask or HC post, lol)

Anyway, you can platonically love and trust someone. In many ways it hurts just as bad (or even worse) than anything romantic. Sigh.

#enver gortash #karlach #gortash asks #anon asks #bg3 headcanons

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edda-grenade · 4 months

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astarion/durge

the seduction works well. perhaps even a little Too well.

decided to just post some of the massive mess of bg3 fic i've written, bc a lot of it stands p well on its own, like this thing ^^

(no one gets eaten or murderized or even cut open, buuuut. durge. so.)

_____

Barash cocks her head at him. It keeps reminding him of a cat. A very large, very dangerous, not at all soft-furred cat. With so many teeth.

“So…?”

“Oh, no need to keep playing coy,” Astarion says, smiling winsomely at her. “I felt you shaking when I drank. You want more, don’t you?”

Barash doesn’t blink for a very long time. “Ye-es,” she says finally. Her tail lashes through the air, then stills abruptly. The skin of Astarion’s neck prickles, but he ignores it. Steps closer, allowing his shoulders and hips to sway a little. Barash’s eye tracks the motion like a snake following a mouse. He almost has her.

“Then why should we not indulge ourselves? Find a little privacy, while the night away together…” She’s still staring. “I do mean sex,” he clarifies. He gives her chest a teasing tap. “We’ve waited long enough, haven’t we?”

Barash growls. Smiles.

“Till tonight,” she says. Her black eye seems to sparkle.

It’s easier than he expected. Well, Barash herself is rather heavy, but she’s happy to fuck him with those strange dragonborn appendages of hers, requiring naught from him but the occasional arching of his back and a breathy moan. Those are not particularly difficult to provide—the sensation is pleasant, which is a nice surprise. Her scales are warm against his skin, and not rough enough to damage him. At least not the way she is touching him, curled over his back with her thighs framing his, her chest pressed to his shoulders and her hands roaming his front. There will likely be scratches from her talons by the end of it, but the forest floor alone is contributing its share of those. Overall, a resounding success—

How much would you bleed, if I cut you open right now…

Astarion goes still.

Crack apart your ribs, eat your heart.

It's not the tadpole. Is it? That thing always shoved images into his mind, memories. Not… words. Not the sensation of the night sky bearing down on him in all its cold vastness. Barash’s tongue drags along his shoulder blade, a blaze of molten iron.

You're right, I want more, more. Hold you, break you, taste you.

It's her.

Oh gods, it better not be. He can feel her teeth against the nape of his neck.

“Barash,” he croaks, forcing the words out past his gallows-tight throat. “Darling, are—are you. Talking. In my head?”

Barash stops moving. The low growl she's been purring out stops too.

“What did I say?” she asks.

Is she serious? He can't read her tone, his thoughts whirring frantically. His entire body is cold like ice, quivering with tension. She's not Cazador, he thinks, she's not Cazador, she's not, she's not.

She just wants to kill and tear and bite, and she murdered that annoyingly sweet little bard in her sleep.

For a brief, glaring moment, Astarion's mind stops drowning in panic for long enough to think that he should’ve fucking seen this coming.

“Astarion? What did I say.”

His thoughts scramble.

Lie. Lie. Don't give her ideas.

She already has ideas, for fuck’s sake—!

It'll be fine! She fucked Lae'zel already, and Lae'zel is distinctly ungutted.

Lae'zel is githyanki, not some scrawny, malnourished vampire spawn—

Selective honesty! Just lie a little!

“You—you were… fantasizing,” he manages. There, that’s even the truth. Probably.

Barash rumbles in acknowledgement, sounding… tense. Before, her body felt loose with hunger. Now it’s a coiled spring. Astarion really really hopes she’s not going to snap closed on him.

“That’s why you smell like fear now, huh.” One of her talons traces down his belly toward his cock. “Did you like it?”

Astarion swallows. Almost chokes on it. He tries to turn, just enough to see her. The ridge of her brow, the edge of her maw. Teeth. That eye dark and glittering like the night sky. His insides are trying to knot themselves into a noose.

“You can tell me anything,” he murmurs. By some miracle he manages to keep his voice steady, low and sultry. “Whatever depraved things you’re dreaming of, your secrets are safe with me.” He presses back against her, so her jaws slip over his shoulder. Those needle teeth no longer right at his neck. “You can trust me,” he lies.

Barash lets out a sharp breath, smoke and sparks. She hauls him close, back and up until he’s straddling her lap. Astarion wheezes with the sudden motion, his heart making a valiant attempt to pound. Barash is growling again, that deep buzzing noise that by all rights should be called a damn purr.

She nuzzles him. His neck, the top of his shoulder. Her tongue flickers out to taste his skin. His spine, between his shoulder blades…

A gift, Cazador had said. A poem from my hand, to keep with you. Always.

“I want to rip open your scars,” Barash whispers, “give you new ones.”

Astarion has to slap his hand across his mouth to keep a sound inside. A word, strangled between his teeth.

Yes.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #dark urge #astarion ancunin #astarion x durge #what's the damn ship portmanteau. is there even one?#durgestarion #???#astarion #bg3 durge #durge #watch me figure out a tagging convention in realtime here #fic tag #barash #is a great old one warlock; incidentally. and yes i'm running with the telepathy they get in 5e #everyone else thinks it's the tadpoles. it's not.#real fun time when that comes out :>

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aleksa-sims · 5 months

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RL Simself Story ⛈️

We had just arrived at Damien’s Mom's house. The thunderstorm continued, so Nico and I had to spend the night there. As I wanted to call my Mom, to tell her not to worry, Ana also called me, to tell me Daniel was back home. I was confused!?... I couldn’t believe it and I was annoyed by some things Ana did. Why was she at our place to talk to D.? Why is Ana meddling in my affairs? I mean, I get it! She was worried about him, she loved Daniel, just like my whole family did. But why did she have to mention that.... Lexi- shit? And why does she always think Alex is responsible for D.'s & my probs? Anyway, it pissed me off. And Nico was sitting right next to me while I was on the phone with Ana & my Mom. So he knew it too now, that D. was back. 😞

Me (to N.): I’m so sorry.... But trust me, it doesn’t change anything. I promise.... Uhm... I'll step out for a sec. I-...I have to call Ana back.

Nico: It's raining buckets!! Where you going? It's crazy out there.

Me: I-.... I just have to get out. Don't worry N., it's-... it's all fine. ok?

Nico: I'm going with you. 😟

Me: No! Please, don't. I just need to be by myself for a while. 😞

I'm so stupid!!! No one was out in the fucking weather, expect me, fool!... I had some questions for Ana. She said Daniel seemed high to her. I wanted to know why? Why did she think that? Well, Ana meant D. smoked, when she saw him. Actually, she was right. Daniel only smoked when he was high, or when we tried to get off that damn durg. I was worried about him, but at the same time, also mad. By now I knew, that Daniel saw Irena, just before he left 4 months ago. He was in her apartment. I didn’t know why he was there, at Irenas and his former place? Irena didn't want to tell me more.

Ana: Where are you anyway? Are you out there alone?

Me: Ah... yea, I'm alone.... Agh, Ana? Um... shit. The reception here's poor. Wait, I’m going in a different direction. Maybe it's better there?.... I think I’m gonna call Daniel.

Ana: You should go back to the house, to N. Just text Daniel. Tell him you'll be back home soon. But you don't have to call him, now A.!

Me: I’m afraid to tell him, Ana... And I feel so shitty about N., too. I'm so horrible. 😞

Ana: Yea. I get you. But Nico knew what he was getting into.

Me: Still, he also has feelings. N. is not an ass, as you all think. And I love him.

Me: Ana?.... Hello?... Ana!... Ugh, shit. 😨

Perfect timing. My phone died. 🤦‍♀️I was so absorbed in talking to my sister, that I got lost! I had no reception near Damien’s house, so I went in a completely different direction, but now, I did not know where I was? I decided to go back the way I went. Couldn't be so difficult, I thought....🧐

I was wrong! I got a.... little mental breakdown?... I wandered blind through an unknown area. Because of the heavy rain I could hardly open my eyes. I started to panic. I couldn’t use my phone to call N. He’ll think I left him, to rush home to Daniel. I was so worried about that. Nico told me himslef, just a few days ago, that he doesn’t trust me anymore. He's gonna hate me! 😨 And my Baby won’t have a Dad or a family bcs of me. 😭... I tried not to think about it, but about the tips my therapist taught me, to better deal with my panic attacks. And yea, I calmed down. I looked around again. I tried to concentrate to keep my eyes open. I saw two houses in the street where I was. I made my way towards the houses, to ask someone for help. But then I changed my mind. Somehow I didn’t feel good about ringing at strangers. I was afraid a psycho could lure me into his house. 😬 Yup, that's from watching so many horror movies, Ik!

Besides, I noticed that the road I was on, was a sign pointing to a bar and some shops, that should be just around the corner. I decided to try this first, before... well, I get killed by a sicko. Believe me, I have often run into some sick guys in my life. That’s why I was so insecure.

Meanwhile the others were starting to worry about me. Nico couldn’t find me outside and my phone was off too. He asked Damien to help him look for me. Oh, and the electricity was cut. Allegedly, an important power pole was damaged by lightning. 🤷‍♀️

As you can see, I did not end up in a bar, but went to a shop that was open. I was so relieved when I saw other people there. They were surprised by the thunderstorm. Now they’ve been stuck in that small twon for two hours. They couldn’t get home. The streets were closed due to flooding and some other probs. Anyway, I was looking for the shop assistant to ask if I could use their phone. I just wanted to call N. to tell him where I was. Finally I found a young woman standing behind the counter, admiring herself in the mirror and taking selfies. I think she was about to go home? She grabbed her bag and hung it over her shoulder....

Me: Hi!... Um, excuse me?... Sorry, I don’t want to disturb you. Um, may I short use the phone here somewhere? I’m not from this area, just visiting, but I got lost. I just want to call my boyfriend so he doesn’t worry about me.

Girl: Oh, hi!... Sorry, but we are having technical probs with our phone connection atm. But, you know what? You can use my phone for a second. I hope it works. I just got off the phone with my brother and my mom. Let's try.

Me: Omg, I know you! (😡) Is your brother Damien?

Yes, I met Diana. Damien's Twin Sister. Let’s see if she remembers me? 😒... Oh, and btw, I didn’t really get lost. I just have a terrible sense of direction! Damien’s house was only 2 blocks away!!! So I went in the right direction, but.... somehow I didn’t recognize the surroundings. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #cw addiction #cw drugs

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freesidexjunkie · 3 months

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✨WIP tag game!✨

Thank you @dutifullylazybread for tagging me and apologies for the delayed response!! These Ws haven't been P-ing like they used to when I have school lol. Tagging @gammacrow and @queeronaquest if yall want to share anything!!

I shared Rolan last time and Solavellen before that so I need to show some love for my durgetash WIPs. Pre-tadpole f!Durge OC Maevris. Opening to a fic that's going to take place in the Upper City before she they admit this is more than an unholy alliance of crime. Very much a rough draft and incomplete, so sorry if it clunks.

One, two… Peeking around a corner, Maevris counted four guards chatting at the end of the street. She could try sneaking past them, distracted as they were, but a tiefling didn't exactly blend in in the Upper City streets. The other directions didn’t seem much better; if it wasn't city watch and Flaming Fist, it was the private guards of some self important patriar or other. If she could just get back to the under city, she could–

“Well, well,” a low voice said, suddenly very close behind her. “If it isn’t my favorite assassin.”

Mae cursed silently to herself; Enver Gortash was the last person she needed to run into right now. “Would you lower your bloody voice?” She hissed over her shoulder at him.

“Oh, of course, my dear. My apologies for drawing unnecessary attention. You were being so discrete, skulking around dark corners,” he said, just above a whisper. He hovered closer to her, under the guise of getting a better look as his hand found the small of her back. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your lovely face gracing so many wanted posters, would it?”

She bristled under his all-too-casual tone. This was his fault, after all – in a way, at least. Careless Banite, oblivious to his own bloody politics. He would have gotten himself killed, if she hadn't put such an end to the patriar’s plotting. The only thing she didn't understand is why. Why had she needed to tangle herself up in his mess? “Can't you mind your own business, tyrant?”

“Your barbed words don't sting half so much when you go to such pains on my behalf, Mae,” he replied, an intolerably smarmy grin on his face. How had he found out? She had taken great pains to hide her involvement. She didn't have a good response to that besides scoffing at him and turning sharply away to look back at the guards.

#wip tag #tag game #writing wip #durgetash #gortash x durge #gortash x dark urge #dark urge x gortash #bg3 gortash #enver gortash #lord gortash #dark urge #durge #bg3 durge

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darethshirl · 6 months

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soooo you know how when it comes to ask memes, normal people reblog the list and wait for others to send them asks? well. im not normal. I did THE ENTIRE LIST from here because… I’m mad with power? I guess? also I really really need to put some effort into characterising my poor bg3 ocs. and yep thats ocs plural!! I made a durge and didn’t bother to make a post for her here. so!! introductions!!

Cassiopeia, she/her. High Elf with the Noble background, Wild Magic Sorcerer. Chaotic Evil. Self-possessed with a calm outward demenour that belies her ruthlessness. Power-hungry (as is her right!!) and uncaring of how many people die in pursuit of her goals. Classy and graceful. Snooty. Loyal only to her friends and family, and she doesn’t have that many friends or family. Drawn to danger, and surprisingly cavalier about taking risks. But then again, why shouldn’t she be? She rarely faces consequences, and what her money can’t fix, her magic does.

Rin, she/they. Wood Elf, Spore Druid. Durge who resists! She’s been fascinated with death and decay ever since she was a little kid, and has been shunned as a weirdo ever since. Generally a quiet person who keeps to themself, she finds the beauty in everything, even the grotesque. But while she respects and appreciates death, she doesn’t actually like doing the killing… She’s only in act 1 so far but already she’s drowning in guilt and confusion. She’s not having a very good time at the moment, if she’s being honest. :(

(and yes theyre both romancing astarion 🤡 who else)

anyway!! let’s go! also I’m tagging @fadedsweater, @effelants, @roguelioness, @korcariiwitch and @potatowitch to do this too if they want to (yes the entire list if you have the strength!! I dare you!!) and any other hidden bg3 mutuals/followers I might have 👀

what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)

Cassiopeia: Like a subtle spritz of jasmine perfume, just enough to notice but not to overwhelm. After a tenday she… still smells exactly the same, since she uses prestidigitation with impunity. No need to show any flaws when you can hide it all with magic!

Rin: Like grass and the faintest whiff of decay. After a tenday add some stale sweat, mud, and the metallic tinge of old blood.

what would their blood taste like to vampires?

Cassiopeia: Sweet and rich after a lifetime of good meals, with an aftermath of something tingly from her Wild Magic.

Rin: Her healthy lifestyle leaves her blood clear and refreshing, with an imperceptible fungal bitterness if she’s forgotten to dismiss her Spore form.

how would they kiss their LI?

Cassiopeia: In public? Proper and sweet little pecks. 😌 In private? She gets Bitey 😈

Rin: Whether in public or in private, she kisses the exact same way: arms around Astarion’s neck, eyes closed, with all her focus.

how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?

Cassiopeia: She actually plonks down and falls into the Elf Trance pretty easily, so both she and Astarion are usually side by side in that meditation pose like weirdos 😂 Sometimes Astarion spoons her from behind in his sleep tho. She doesn’t mind.

Rin: Oh, she doesn’t sleep 🙃 Too dangerous. When she’s too exhausted to resist she basically curls into a tense tiny ball of a fetal position. She usually asks Astarion to watch over her in case she "sleepwalks" again, so he’s gotten into the habit of keeping a hand on her back.

what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

Cassiopeia: Always sets her tent by the shade. Sorry, did I say sets her tent? I meant her Mage Hands set her tent (she gets two cause she’s a sorcerer, Gale, and if that’s not proof sorcerers are the superior class she doesn’t know what IS.) She keeps the materials light and breezy, since she can always use her magic to warm the inside up if she needs to.

Rin: Under a tree OR next to a boulder OR under a tree and surrounded by boulders. The more closed-in and cozier the better. Also she genuinely doesn’t mind mud, so she might volunteer for the spot if no one else wants it.

if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?

Cassiopeia: oooh this is a fun question 👀 I’d say her colour scheme is light blue ooor white/gold, so she gets a custom set made of lapis lazuli, and an opal one as back-up. All made with real gemstones, of course.

Rin: A set made of wood. She carved it herself!

do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?

Cassiopeia: No. Collecting things is for children.

Rin: She likes picking up cool rocks :) hasn’t had the time to look for any lately tho :(

if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

Cassiopeia: Ooooh definitely in the Gale’n’Astarion club. She waits for Gale to finish his verbal analysis essay only to respond with “I disagree.” She offers no further comment. Also she and Astarion like to make fun of any character making stupid decisions… according to them, of course.

Rin: She doesn’t actually like to read lol. She knows how to, she just… doesn’t really find it that fun, and it makes her head hurt if she reads too long. She doesn’t mind if someone reads out loud to her tho, and Wyll is usually the only willing to do it, so… trashy romance education, here we go!

if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?

Cassiopeia: It’s got to be Gale lol. Though really, he’s the one getting all up in a huff when Cassiopeia is surprised human wizards are actually good at magic. She’s chill. She’s not even picking a fight, she’s just stating that humans study magic for less time than elves so naturally they’re worse at being a wizard. That’s just common sense!

Rin: No one really. She’s too sad and quiet to pick arguments.

do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?

Cassiopeia: Speak With Dead baybeee 😎😎 She looks super cool doing it. Also fuck them dead people, they’ve got no rights.

Rin: As a druid she’s more or less obligated to cast Speak With Animals from the moment she wakes up. Just in case!!

what are their thoughts on clowns?

Cassiopeia: Pathetic. Unfunny. Food for the uncultured masses. If all clowns died out overnight nothing of value would be lost.

Rin: Clowns are fun! :) It’s always nice to bring some joy and laughter into the world.

their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

Cassiopeia: “Okay but how rich do you really think she is?? Like patriar rich? Richer?? Also do you think she’s killed any of her servants. Like she seems the type to blast one with magic when displeased. Okay place your bets on how many servants she’s killed, starting bet is 500gp.”

Rin: “Hey, are they… okay…? They doesn’t look okay. 😐 I'm pretty sure they cried themself to sleep last night.”

what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?

Cassiopeia: Astarion’s mean comments never fail to make her laugh. She has a restrained and surprisingly low laugh, coyly covering her mouth out of habit even when she’s in private.

Rin: She doesn’t have much to laugh about these days, but when something does surprise a laugh out of her it’s always full-bodied and earnest, making her eyes crinkle.

do they have any inside jokes among their companions?

Cassiopeia: She and Astarion share Looks ™ when the rest of the team is being too goody-goody. Also when they’re mocking an npc without bothering to open their mouths. Tadpole-to-tadpole communication baby!

Rin: She’s a bit too stressed with all the amnesia and accidental killing to make any jokes, inside or otherwise.

what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

Cassiopeia: Expensive, silky garments, tailor-made. The quality is unimpeachable. Might not be the best idea to traverse the wilderness in them, though.

Rin: Rough but sturdy homespun clothes. These were build to last. Ignore the suspiciously blood-like stain, that’s just spore residue. Probably.

what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

Cassiopeia: The only thing smoother than this satin is the skin underneath it. For a classy, intimate night out.

Rin: Utilitarian but comfortable. A small R is hand-stitched at the back.

how do they celebrate their birthday?

Cassiopeia: Throws a huge and lavish full-day party with hundreds of guests at her mansion, with paid entertainment and vast amounts of alcohol. She swans around in her Designer Clothes (Faerun Edition) for like an hour before she fucks off somewhere private to do the fun drugs. And maybe bang someone. It’s her birthday, after all.

Rin: She doesn’t actually know when her birthday is 🙃 And even if she did the rest of her Circle wouldn’t really care.

what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

Cassiopeia: askjdh okay I think she’d binge Succession and COMPLETELY miss the entire point of it 😂😂 Logan is like legit her favourite character and she hates the kids, she finds them annoying and frustrating. Like, just stop failing!! Just be smart and competent, and then your dad will love you! How hard can it be, jesus!

Rin: oh man her life is so sad that I think she’d curl up in bed and watch a sitcom like a zombie all day long. She just needs those few hits of laughter serotonin to give her strength, you know? 🥺 I haven’t watched enough sitcoms to choose one for her, maybe Friends?? She seems like she’d like Friends. Ross is her favourite.

do you have a playlist for your tav? if so, what’s the title + description?

I DO NOT 😭😭😭 I HAVE FAILED AS AN OC CREATOR LMAO. maybe if i ever make some I’ll come back here and edit it but lets be real im not gonna do that lol. thats not how i operate. i just put all the songs on my humongous unorgonised Favourite list and then never open that list ever again

if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?

Cassiopeia: Carrying things is for the plebs, darling. You might get a golden ring or two though, if you’re lucky.

Rin: Healing potions, some botany ingredients, also random daggers she keeps picking up and forgetting to sell. Don't think too hard about it.

#ask meme #my oc #bg3

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all-pacas · 7 months

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honor run!!!

I'm level 4, planning on multiclassing people soon. Gonna make Lae'zel a Fighter/Paladin, maybe Wyll a Bardlock, Astarion gloomstalker assassin. Might also take a level or two of monk for Durge, we'll see.

I just cleared the goblin camp. Almost TPK'd ooooof. When I was fighting Minthara, ALL the goblins got aggro'd. I actually took her out no problem, but the Swarm overwhelmed me. Lae'zel kept going down, then Durge, Gale held on surprisingly long, but it got to the point where I just had Astarion make a break for it. Revived everyone, grabbed Halsin, freed the spiders, attempt 2 went much better.

Then the goddamn Bullette almost killed me in the underdark. Literally everyone was dead but Durge, I didn't have a bonus action to jump to safety, THANKFULLY the bullette decided to burrow right then or that would have been it. Honestly, the battles aren't too bad, it's the lack of save scumming out of bad scenarios that's Getting Me.

I know the dueger slaver fight is hard, even WITH mushroom dude helping, so I'm trying to take out little guys and get up to 5 before I try it. Not even going NEAR Ethel until then, either.

Karlach has hit on me, and I picked the "friends" option when Gale gave me a magic class. Astarion really likes me, but hasn't propositioned me yet. Weirdly, neither has Lae'zel. Why isn't everyone hitting on me???

I'm getting the hang of spore druid and it's actually pretty fun! I'm basically playing them like a ranger, lmao. Got a bow, throw down Spike Growth, hit them with Spore Arrows. Tempted to take a level or two of monk to give me a little more melee power, but ranger would also work. Both go well with my dex/wis build. I've never used wildshape in combat, which is a lot of fun? And seriously. Spike Growth has saved my ass so many times.

When I was fighting Mother Gut in her room, she called for backup and oops! Can't save scum! AND Roah and her buddies got in on it too. So I basically just Spike Growth'd the door and got out of the way. Half the goblins killed themselves trying to get to me, I was able to pick off the rest. It took forever, but aside from Roah CHEATING and using LIGHTNING BOLT to almost kill Karlach, I had no KO's. Why have I been sleeping on Spike Growth?? I use Hunger of Hadar or Wall of Fire, but I think I was overlooking how fast Spike's damage builds? I was like ohhh 2d4 that's nothing, I didn't quite realize it was WHENEVER THEY MOVE.

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sorcerous-caress · 8 months

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Honestly your blog is the only BG3 blog I check daily. (Dam you- for having me check tumblr everyday now)

Now for an ask. What do you think Selunite!Shadowheart- Were!shadowheart, Minthara and Gale (bonus Karlach) would react to a Dark Urge Tav who has apparently an insane questionable and despicable past (regarding the in game apparent sexual relation to Orin and necrophelia unfortunately, which mind blown from a player perspective)

- undecided anon

This actually means a lot to me that you're interested enough in my thoughts and writing to check it out every day <3 as much as it feals like I'm yelling into the void sometimes, it's nice to remember there are actual people on the other end in the void who are silently listening.

Thank you for telling me this, words genuinely fail me when it comes to describing how these small comments make me happy.

Now, mention of dark topics below cut

Including Necrophilia, Incest, Exhibition, Gore, Murder, Torture, Body fluids, Animal abuse, and Vivisections

Durge is genuinely unhinged. Through all the flashbacks and hints we see of their past through the game, one is more horrible than the last.

They dunked their butler's head into the open bladder of the guy they were preforming a vivisection on and choked him in their piss because he made a mistake. Source from the noblestalk flashback.

The sexual implications of their relationship with Gortash, a tyrant who killed and enslaved endless people. I don't recall the Orin implications but taking your words on it, it would kind of be considered incest since she is also a bhaalspawn. She is even a product of incest herself.

They have a long history of animal abuse and mistreatment, too. They aren't below preying on souls weaker than them. The cat on the rooftop in moonrise towers who mentions how Durge kicked her a lot, also the squirrel in act 1.

What they did to Alfira too.

Shadowheart, Minthara, and maybe arguably Karlach have a dark past. All of them have murdered and tortured people in the past.

Minthara

Minthara is the most extreme out of them. Not only did she participate in the cruel nature of drow culture, but also the fact she doesn't exactly see anything wrong with it. Yes, her crimes, her own crimes, not the ones she was brainwashed to commit, pale in comparison to Durge, but it still would make any sane good person turn away from her.

She doesn't react much to Durge's cruelty through the game. If anything, she encourages it and at times turned on by it. I don't think she would encourage Necrophilia and incest but those might be her only hard no. The rest like gore and turtore is not a deal breaker to her.

Minthara is the companion that Durge could be the most free with when it comes to following their dark urges. As long as they don't hold the knife to her own throat. She does think it is freaky and weird of Durge but she is used to freaky and weird from drow culture.

Her moral compass does exist. It's mostly evil. Her only deal breakers are when you betray her own trust, if you hurt other people she doesn't care.

She used to be in love with Orin, even worshipping her. Ingame. But Orin betrayed her trust so Minthara loathed her from that day on.

Although I have a feeling that she condems needless cruelty, sure, sate your appetite, but don't let it consume you. If you can't seize control over your own urges when it matters, then how are you any different from a frenzied mutt? Control yourself and prove to her you are a sane person and she will stay with you.

Shadowheart

Back in her Sharran days, she admits to torturing and breaking prople. She lied and manipulated do many people to get her way and to serve Shar.

It would be hypocritical of her to judge you on your past, no matter how much darker it is than hers in comparison. Especially a Selunite Shadowheart who would feel like she owes her life to you interference back at the nightsong confrontation.

But a Selunite Shadowheart wouldn't indulge your dark urges, she will only forgive your past. If you still seek bloodlust then either let her help you through it, or both of you can go your separate ways.

That's only after the ending tho, during your travel days, she will turn a blind eye to your gorey displays and chalk it up to the cruel road you've faced. She will give you the benfit of the doubt until the city is saved.

Her parents still had hope in her seeing the truth one day and waking up, so she tries to extend the same courtesy to you for as much as she can.

A Werewolf Shadowheart would fall into the same category if she had ended up a Selunite. Although being a werewolf and all, she will relate to your struggle more than normal Shadowheart ever could. She also has urges that steer her to darker thoughts and desires that she battles everyday, the two of you can get through this together.

Karlach

Now her case is...very speical. Technically, she committed no sins or crimes on her own because she was enslaved during her time fighting in the demon wars. Yet still she killed many, she has never developed an appetite for blood because of it.

She doesn't shy away from killing tho, it's an average everyday thing for her now. She will kill and fight if she had to in order to survive.

But, because she has lived among demons, even got almost close to befriending one, she has seen much worse than anything Durge could've ever done.

Incest and Necrophilia barely scratch the surface of what devils get down to. Let alone the humiliation and truely sickening things they force upon their victims. Karlach bared witness to all of that.

She wants Durge to change, not to end up like these devils. She reassures them that they are better than this, that they have the strength to change and not go down this disgusting road.

She isn't phased by it like Minthara, but unlike Minthara, she never endorsed or participated in the cruelty around her.

I think she'll have a heart to heart with Durge about it. Try to get them to see people as real people with souls and emotions, not just cattle for slaughter.

A single life is very precious, especially to someone like her who was robbed of their own life. She will never forgive Durge for robbing an innocent person out of their life.

But she would definitely freak out over the Gortash relationship thing, because more of personal reasons. You fell in love with that monster as he is? The same man who robbed her of her own heart and betrayed her trust? She would genuinely break down.

Gale

He is a very very speical case.

Gale is naive in a way. Not to infantilise him, but he tends to view the world through rose colored lenses. Part to being human, another part to having lived in the lap of luxury and privilege.

Gale saw the best of what the world had to offer, Gale fell in love with a zealous benevolent goddess who's good alligned, Gale was isolated in one of the richest cities in Faerun with rich scholars for friends.

Gale thought Minthara was just misunderstood when he met her.

He is aware of good and evil, he just has such a distorted view of evil that he never recognises it when it's face to face with him. He forgets that evil people can be charming, beautiful and funny and they might just be his own friends.

In his world view, he is good, therefore anything and everything he interacts with willingly must be good.

He is delusional.

And it doesn't help that life and sheer luck only encouraged his delusions, only soldified his views that bad people can be quelled by ordering everyone a shot at the tavren and that no one truly would wish to harm someone else given the chance right?

He will make endless excuses for Durge's past. So many far-fetched justifications to fit you into the box of good people he keeps in his orbit.

That is, if Durge never confronts him with their present urges to still participate in bloodshed.

Otherwise he will just downplay your confessions of guilt and brush off your unsettling comments. Always going the extra mile to give you all the benfits to the doubt.

Unless you make him face the cold truth reality in the form of a slaughtered grove of innocent people.

Even then, while he particpated, his delusions still make excuses for you, telling him there must be a reason for all of this, he just has to have faith in you.

Ans in the aftermath when it's just him and you, kneedeep in gore at camp. He revolts at the sight of you, sneers and glares into your face. Fully blaming everything on YOU. That YOU must be corrupting him, fully driving his agenda that he is good and will always be good! It's you who is responsible for his own actions.

It's also these delusions of him being a good person that inflate his ego enough to let him persure the crown of Karsus, that makes him think he is beyond the corruption of greed while simultaneously blaming any and all of his actions that he doesn't like onto Durge and saying they must've corrupted him.

He isn't just ignorant, he is choosing to remain ignorant.

Durge can manipulate a power hungry Gale into staying with them even while they openly bathe in the remains of corpses. If they feed into his delusions.

#♡dark content #♡Gale #♡karlach #♡Minthara #♡Shart #♡wereshart #♡selunite shart #♡character study #♡undecided anon

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morgana-ren · 8 months

Note

I'm in Raphael hell right now. I'm ascended Astarion and Gortash sandwich all the way for my toxicity but Raphael has snuck up on me!

He looks upon her with such longing and hate I think he might actually kill her

Urgh Hope you lucky bitch

Also this line from him

I'd hate to have to slit a child up the navel and rinse you in their insides

I forget he is a devil sometimes!! Although his dirty nursery rhyme is so funny.

What playthrough are you doing at the moment? Where you up to?

Raphael has the wit, charm, and charisma that most successful devils possess. It's how they get their way. They come off eloquent and personable, and humans are disarmed because many are conventionally attractive. A nasty little trick to lull you into the weaver's web.

I have to applaud his ambition. Even for a devil, he truly dreamed big.

I think I never considered Raphael like that mostly because, during the base game, it seems as if he has zero interest in you carnally. At all. In fact, he's entirely narcissistic and only wants to have sex with himself--

Or so it appears to the untrained eye.

Anyone who has spoken and has a standing pact with Raphael's personal succubus Haarlep can tell you that he does, in fact, want to fuck Tav.

I like to imagine he might not've been interested before. Humans are a dime a dozen, after all. However, there's something undeniably alluring about a clever, canny human willing to play his game and make him work for it. The audacity to break into his house. A force of nature cutting a swath out of the Sword Coast for themselves. Headstrong and determined. It might hammer its way into his mind after a while.

Truthfully, stay in true devil form and lengthen his hair, and I'd probably be very into him. I love my men elegant, sinister, and with fangs and wings and horns, so he certainly fits the bill.

Something something something, you kill Haarlep and you owe him a personal play toy. He seeks out a deal. You take it because whatever it is he holds over your head is too dastardly. You are now his playtoy. Just off the top of my head.

As for my playthrough, Abeloth is dinking around in the city, trying to finish as many quests as she can before we end the game. I have to do another Durge playthrough because apparently I wasn't resting enough and I missed some vital fucking scenes. Some quests are time oriented so I was deliberately trying not to rest unless absolutely necessary. I missed some really good ones. I'm extremely bummed. These are like triple digit hour playthroughs, maaaan.

#morgana and friends #raphael bg3

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vole-mon-amour · 8 months

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Going with Minthara and her plan is truly something else.

My Durge broke a Vengeance oat as soon as I pointed the grove on her map.

Wyll left immediately, wasn't even at the camp when I came back.

Karlach left as soon as I entered the goblin's party (and Dammon was killed by Minthara, which is another yikes moment.)

Gale hates me and himself and wanted to leave, but I convinced him not to. Gale going "...and I participated" like... Yeah? You did? You could've left? Or does the mechanics of the game do not allow the character to leave if they're in your party? Either way, he blames my DUrge.

I haven't saved Halsin and haven't even met him. I just didn't enter the prison room and went straight for the slaughter, so Halsin hasn't appeared just yet. Maybe later, I don't know, but I fucking miss him and his voice.

Minthara's sex scene is very nice and horny (she literally sits on a dragonborns' face), but then she tries to kill you just like Lae'zel (btw, in this run I saved her but didn't invite her to the camp. So no idea where she is.)

Shadowheart is simply drunk and doesn't really care and thinks that the ambush was meh and that a child could've done it.

Astarion rejected my DUrge with "I'm flattered, but I think not. I have standards." The approval was negatively neutral. Like? He seems in the elevated mood because the wine is way better and he really doesn't mind the killing, but what's the point when there's no Astarion romance? Maybe I should've went full into killing and doing everything to earn his approval, IDK. At the beginning I still tried to help the tieflings and look where that got me. (Sure, on my first playthrough I spent WAY more time exploring the map before the party happened & I was still struggling getting Astarion's approval until I figured it out and the romance happened. But to have that approval for the romance without exploring the map much? Yeah, I should have probably went full on with killings, hmm.) UPD: Oh, and Astarion hasn't tried to bite me even ONCE, which I find incredibly weird. I can't use his bite either cause its not showing.

Zevlor screaming that I betrayed them and watching all those spiders and goblins attacking the tieflings... :/

And all the time I was forcing myself to choose all those options that come with Minthara bc I'm curious what all fuss is about, but I don't think I enjoy it very much. The tieflings were frightened and didn't fight back. It really IS like slaughtering children (Shadowheart's words) & I felt awful about it.

It's obvious that Larian wants you to go with the good path. Sure, they give you the option to go this path, but the consequences are awful.

And to play the entire game just to see what comes out of romancing Minthara and from trusting the Absolute? I'm sure that nothing good. I'm surprised the sun is still shining tbh. With the slaughter and the betrayal that happened at the grove, the shadowcurse should just spread on those lands, too.

Like, going with the same choices (Saving Halsin, helping Karlach, Wyll etc) is boring, but going with this path? Yiiiikes. Maybe I'll just look it up on YouTube. I want new achievements, but I'm not ready to explore the map all over again & I'm not sure if there are any for the choices you make with Minthara.

Oh, AND the game offers you the dragonborn for DUrge by default, yet many options as you answer Minthara are, "There was no honor in this" or "I did not enjoy that." So they want you to resist the urge? And kill Minthara and save everybody?

#bg3 #natisplaying #gale #karlach #wyll #astarion #shadowheart #minthara

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blackjackkent · 3 months

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Time for more Durge adventures! We've got Gale and Lae'zel so time to head straight for the grove and pick up Wyll to complete Rakha's starting party. (This might adjust over time; realistically Jaheira might be taking Gale's place at some point bc I love Jaheira and also [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS], and it's entirely possible Rakha will surprise me with who else she decides to get along with. But this is the starting plan at least. XD )

This of course means we kick off by spilling some goblin guts, which should make the beast in Rakha's head happy. o.o;

Before that, though, we get the same extra dialogue options with Lae'zel and Gale that we got with Shadowheart, so might as well start getting a gauge on what they think about their new traveling companion.

"My past is a mystery to me. Could the parasite have caused that?"

I find Rakha's relationship with Lae'zel already quite interesting, because Lae'zel's tremendous assertiveness and decisiveness allows her to get shit done while Rakha is going off the rails - but also serves as focus and direction, an anchor point for Rakha's instincts towards rage and violence. If asked who of her current three companions would provide her the most trustworthy advice, Rakha would likely - at least at this moment - answer Lae'zel.

This is partly interesting because, as we know, Lae'zel is actually young as fuck and perhaps has more confidence and training than actual wisdom of experience.

She doesn't really have any good answers regarding Rakha's past, though.

"Ceremorphosis takes all of you - mind, body, soul. An ordinary tadpole would eat at your memories until they were lost to the void. But our tadpoles are far from ordinary. I wonder if another factor's in play."

(A side note: Lae'zel was not present when Gale popped the word ceremorphosis, which means that she knows this word in Common, which is actually pretty impressive. I love that there is more than one subtle hint in the way she is written indicating that Lae'zel is actually pretty fucking smart despite her 10INT on paper. This was one of the things Hector liked about her too.)

"I've had these urges. I want to kill. I want blood." Just as she was with Shadowheart, Rakha is matter-of-fact here. Little point in hiding the matter.

Lae'zel seemed unbothered by Rakha's burst of chaotic violence against the tieflings, and is no more phased by this admission either. "Many a good warrior savors the scent of blood in the air. There's no shame in a capricious murder now and again. Too many, though, and you waste energy and dull your weapon. My suggestion: attack with purpose and savor your kills. And if the urge proves too much... well, I'm sure we can find you a goblin or two to carve up."

This is not, strictly speaking, healthy advice from an outside perspective; however, Rakha listens with surprisingly rapt attention.

Attack with purpose. She carves the words on the inside of her own skull. Yes. This is what troubles her about what she has come to term "the beast" - the blinding gleeful destruction that takes over and relishes death for its own sake. Her own rage has its place; it will keep her alive, and those who seek to stand in her way will do her world no harm by leaving it. But the beast silences what little is left of her own mind. It controls her and uses her and seeks only blood, and blood, and blood, and blood, and blood...

Lae'zel's words carry the first truth she has been certain of since she woke up. Attack with purpose, and savor your kills.

Yes.

-----

Her similar conversation with Gale is a bit more of a mixed bag.

"My memories before the nautiloid are shrouded in darkness."

"Memory loss isn't usually a symptom of ceremorphosis. If it is, they've forgotten to write it down in any text I've read on the subject. Then again, our case isn't exactly usual. Perhaps whatever's causing our tadpoles to remain in stasis has also affected your mind. If ceremorphosis takes place, all trace of your former self will be subsumed into the mind flayer's hive. So to still be here, if a mite forgetful? Still a win in my book."

An optimistic outlook, under the circumstances. On some level, Rakha was hoping that Gale might have a more specific answer to what happened to her, and that he doesn't is disappointing. But as she doesn't have any other better explanation, she still assumes this whole mess is the tadpole's fault until she figures something else out.

"I have violent thoughts. Depraved thoughts. Ones that refuse to go away..."

"We all have those from time to time! I once wished a most impure demise on a colleague of mine who bought the last remaining copy of Etheril's Enchiridion of Enchanting Easements. First edition, too. As regards your own morbid little fantasies, I'm sure they're nothing to worry about - so long as they remain fantasies."

Rakha lost track of everything he was saying somewhere in the middle of this paragraph, but she picks it up again near the end, and frowns. She remembers the intellect devourer, newborn, crunching between her fingertips. That was no fantasy, whatever Gale might think she meant.

#bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge #rakha and lae'zel platonic murder couple apparently here we go XD

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bearhugsandshrugs · 4 months

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I wrote a Durgetash concept (a proper one this time) that I like.

A Durge (Liv) who never enjoyed being Bhaal’s chosen. A cocky Gortash who never touched her. A city that despises both of them, but needs them, all at the same time.

Anyway here it is under the cut. Let me know what you think. Maybe I’ll continue it. It would definitely be much, much darker/angstier than what I usually write.

Liv dreamed of death but all she knew was dying. The way her foster parents’ life drained out of their eyes, slowly, the horror absurdly mixed with love as their throats gurgled out sounds of regret.

The massacred bard, Alfira, so young and so hopeful, bleeding to death by her hand. The faces of unnamed strangers, too many to count, too faded to remember, all of their dying sounds mingling into an echo of brutal white noise that waited for her when she went to bed.

Liv knew dying well. Not only by those who she’d killed, murdered, but also by living. Every day under her father’s thrall and command had felt like dying, over and over again, until only fragments of her had been left, jumbled together into a big mess after she’d survived her own sister’s attempt at her life.

Her first thought on that nautiloid had been that she would have preferred to die, but no such wish had been granted. Of course not. Instead, a soothing voice had spoken, had reached out to her, and channeled her with energy so she could give life where others took it.

That’s how she’d become a cleric.

Still. Even after freeing herself from Bhaal, even after defeating the Netherbrain and surviving attack after attack, Liv did not feel like she was living. How could she? Her memories were still a big, unrelenting question mark. Her feelings were untrustworthy. Her dreams were nightmares.

And now, to top it all off, she’d have to decide whether or not she would cut herself loose from all ties to her old life, or if she would naively cling to what remained. Or what seemed to remain.

Today, she would have to decide if she would pardon Gortash.

The Parliament of Peers had asked her for her decision for several tendays and she’d avoided them again and again. She’d started ruling over the city in Enver’s stead, firm but forgiving, too forgiving for some. Not everyone had wanted to see Gortash in the dungeon, and even more had wanted to see both her and him dead.

Liv hadn’t visited him yet. Hadn’t spoken to him. Every time she spoke to him she felt like drowning. Out of all the ways to die, choking on water until it filled up one's lungs was by far her least favorite. There was too much of the world spilling into you from the outside until all you could do was surrender and succumb, unlike other ways of dying where your last breath left you and fled into the outside world.

No matter. It would have to be done.

Making her way over to the highly guarded and separate wing of the palace she once again rolled her eyes over the fact that they’d opted to keep him in comfort in the palace. Nobility might wanted revenge on him, but they would always want to protect their own status more. He would never rot in a dungeon, because if he could, so could they.

They should all rot, as far as Liv was concerned. None of them had stopped them.

She barged into the library he spent his days in without knocking or waiting, strolling in without a care. Gortash was hunched over a book but looked up when he saw her, standing up reluctantly as a mocking show of respect.

“My favorite assassin”, he mocked the greeting he had offered her when she’d returned and interrupted his coronation. “Here I was thinking yet another one of your wretched siblings had gotten to you, potentially destroying the last parts of your messy brain that were left.”

He was wrinkling his nose as he spoke, eye brows pinched together, and water started to rise up to Liv’s nose.

“Missed having someone to run your insane plans by so much?” She sat down in one of the chairs on the other side of the room, then pointed to the one next to her, making him walk over. A smug smile curled around his lips as he sat down.

“What plans, dear? I’m a dead man walking.” He met her gaze and lowered his voice. “So, in other terms, your wet dream.”

“Gods, Enver”, Liv scoffed at the blatant attempt to rile her up. “You’re not helping your case.”

He chuckled and water got into her nose, and she coughed to fight the blush creeping up her cheeks. She hated how her body responded to him. How some part of her wanted him, on a level so fundamental that it scared her. Especially since she couldn’t remember any part of them ever crossing the line of colloquial work, no matter how hard she tried.

“Tell me then: What would help my case?” Gortash leaned back in his chair, still trying to negotiate his way out of this. Of course.

“I can’t keep you here as a constant reminder of Baldur’s Gate’s nobility’s shame. They won’t tolerate it”, she started, thinking out loud. “I can’t sentence you to death because I would be next”, she continued, realizing for the first time that she actually wanted to live. Her analysis earned her a thoughtful nod from Enver, along with a soft hum. “So I’m at kind of a standstill.”

“You could banish me”, he offered, smirking.

“Oh sure”, Liv rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you take a vacation while I’m left to fix the mess you made.”

His eyes sparkled in response. “Fair”, he chuckled. “In that case why don’t you let me earn my redemption? Give something to do. Let me earn my survival. Soothe over some public misconceptions as I work to stay alive.”

She bit her lip. Exasperated, she took a slow exhale, considering his words. It was annoying how good of an idea it was. Water filled up her lungs and she had to take deliberate breaths to calm the rising panic.

“What should you be working on?” Nothing she could come up with would be without risks. If she wasn’t careful he’d simply scheme to unseat her and take her place again. His place.

“Whatever you want, dear”, he murmured, grinning. “Though I have heard that your reconstruction efforts in the city have not been going as smoothly as you had planned.”

“Sure, so you want me to put you to work in the rubble? Carry some stones? Bane knows you could use the workout, you look scrawny.”

Gortash flinched at the mention of his former god, or maybe at her insult, or the idea of manual labor. Still, he nodded.

“If that keeps me alive: Yes.”

Liv looked away and shook her head. “I need to think about it”, she said quietly, rising to leave. Opposite of her, Gortash stood in parallel, hands clasped behind his back.

“Don’t keep me waiting too long”, he teased, “As you can tell I am quite busy.”

She stifled a laugh with all her might and turned to leave. “Behave yourself, will you?”, she called over her shoulder when she got to the door.

“Never”, he called back, voice a boyish charm.

The world was so far removed from her she barely could make out its sounds and shapes. Liv had been dragged under water, drowning, dying, surviving. Oh, how she hated this. Oh, how she hated him.

#enver gortash #my writing #durgetash #gortash x durge #i’m still trying to find a durge i like #i think a durge just hating to be a durge is it

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