#i kinda just wanna write fanfiction for my mental health

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Just thinking about how sometimes Ed might just hide Stede's clothes from him at the inn. Stede: Ed Have you seen my pants? Ed: No love, no idea where they are. *pant leg peaking out of huge chest*

Stede: *enters room, with no pants on* It's so bizarre, I swear I had so many extra pairs and they're ALL missing. It's a bloody conspiracy.

Ed: Mmm yes, it's a travesty really. *Staring*

[thlayli-ra]

🍓🌵🥑🍄🪐 for the ask game 🩵

Why hello lovely, how are you? ❤️

🍓- How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I've written fanfiction since my teens, but considering that was back in the dark days before ff.net and AO3, I just wrote them for myself in notebooks and on my computer. It was only when I wrote Scorched Earth back in 2018 that I thought 'I wonder if anybody else would enjoy this' and took the plunge of posting it on AO3. The fanfic bug bit soon after, and it only got worse once I got onto Tumblr.

🌵- Share the link to a playlist you love?

I only have one playlist. It's my own personal one called 'inspiration' and it's full of songs that that inspire ideas or that represent a certain fic/au. I'm not going to link it but here are five random songs from it if anybody really wants to know.

🥑- you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

I'd probably just get Erase and Dani over - they won't hold it against me, I'm sure. We'd just stare at the body then discuss what happened on the latest episode of Raw and the finer details of CodyPunk. Nothing would actually get done about the body but I'd feel a lot less stressed about it...

🍄- share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings?

Well of course, it's a Punkintyre one. I reckon that Drew is very vanilla kink-wise and Punk is trying to broaden his horizons with their feud - a 'hey, you wanna date the freak, you have to get a little freaky' kinda thing. So Punk suggested the threesome with Seth Rollins - hard pass from Drew! Drew suggests whipping (he's done it before) - they're making some good progress. Bit of role-play, bit of blood-play and now we'll see what they try out at Bad Blood. I'm keeping everything crossed for some bondage; since Punk's return to wrestling there has been a distinct lack of handcuffs and I am not pleased by this!

🪐- name three good things going on in your life right now?

Awww, this is a cute one! I'm happy with how my family life is at the moment, I'm being more pro-active and trying to keep organised and it's really helped my mental health as I don't have as much mental load as before and I've landed a main role in the local Panto this year. I'm playing the sea witch in the 'Little Mermaid' and I get to sing and dance and really heel it up. There's so many similarities between pro-wrestling and pantomime that they must share a common origin somewhere, I could write an essay on it!

[blackypanther9]

Hey are you ever gonna do Marvel stuff again?

And are you ever gonna open requests again?

You don't really write stuff like you used to and I think we all really miss that, fanfiction has kinda just become lackluster (not yours I'm talking in general) lately there's barely any fanfiction for anyone except female readers and most people don't write stuff the way u do.

I miss that stuff so much...

I understand this is ur blog and you can write whatever you want and stuff but I just wanted to ask and let you know that we miss it.

Sorry for bothering you. Have a good day.

Hi there!

I am unsure. I DO have some old Marvel Loki x Reader stuff BUT I am barely home to look it over to be honest and usually I am happy that I can kick out at least SOMETHING. I am mentally also not very okay, still in slight depression. I am still just going with the flow of how I am feeling and just write about characters I just feel like to write about. I have more favourite stuff to write about than Marvel and I wrote Marvel for quite a while. On top of all this I am trying very hard to work ahead of many Fanfics I do right now, because we are planning on moving to my cat soon, so I will be offline for a long while soon. It is planned that we will move on Janurary. It is also snowing a lot, so we have to drive to my cat, take care of her and then shove a lot of snow away (it is -6°C here). And in the house I have no internet whatsoever.

TvT

My life is not very easy at the moment, I mean I am pretty silent for a while now, because of all of this. I am way more busy than I used to and I just KNOW that it won't change for a while. I have no clue when I will be back online after we moved, I have no clue if I write Marvel soon again, I have no clue when I will feel better again and I have no clue of what might happen 2024.

Sadly my Tumblr blog is not my life. QvQ

I am already looking of what I can do and I am planning to continue two books, that I didn't find all that cringe of my Marvel stuff, but because of lack of time and my mental health, I am slow.

I hope that answered everything. ^^

I am not angry. Sorry I replied so late I didn't get proper sleep this whole week, so f me... TvT

I understand it is frustrating to only see fem!Reader x Male!Character Fanfics. My consolation. TvT I see that with the new William Afton x Reader fics too. There just aren't many that do this whole stuff anymore. Q-Q

So imma leave now. ^^ Bb. Feel free to ask more, if you wanna.

Have a good day/evening. ^^

[steviebbboi]

I don’t typically share things like this like stats/any following just at risk of being perceived 😭 but I saw this and honestly just felt such a rush of joy, excitement and genuine appreciation for all the love that my Logan fic is getting!

I write fanfiction to maintain my mental health (and satiate my Chris Evans fixation 🫣), and I never really thought that I’d have any kind of following at all, honestly, ever. It kinda always surprises me whenever people actually say that they like my writing or enjoy it (I have imposter syndrome and ADHD okay I have rejection sensitivity 🥹😂😭).

So I guess I just wanted to share this over on here as I felt so welcomed and supported by community here ever since I re-joined Tumblr. Seeing everyone write and reading people’s work—an abundance of amazing amazing work, just inspires me more to continue writing, and it feels like a loop of dopamine everytime. A rush of pure kid-like giddiness creeps in whenever I interact with everyone on here. Every reblog, every like, comment and just engagement is what I love about my time on here and I’m grateful for everyone’s presence here too <3

Idk what prompted me to write this but just felt like sharing! I’ll process in therapy on Monday, I promise LOL. And please know that I share this so sincerely. I always feel weird to share anything like this since it feels so revealing and vulnerable— so know that I share this in the most ego-less way that I can send this over (hopefully you can receive that from my share). I received appreciation and just wanna genuinely send it right back at yall! 🫶

Hope everyone is having a lovely lovely weekend. Speak soon, bb’s! 💜💜💜

[theghostbunnie]

I’m curious but ever since you dropped your Harrison hcs I’ve been thinking about what he would be like when he gets older. Are there any hcs/info you have for him??

I'M SO HAPPY Y'ALL ARE INTERESTED IN MY HCS IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!!! 💖💕💫🩷

I have like two paths I could see my version of older Harrison going down. Let's say roughly age 17 or so, he either swears off using absolutely any of his natural magical ability and keeps his illusion/slide of hand tricks utterly private for the most part. The first being a desperate attempt to regain his parents trust, the second with the card tricks being more of getting shamed out of being open with his peers with his hobbies. I wouldn't wanna see him kept on this path and I often pair it with some major character development story. (In my head atleast, I don't think I'd ever be able to use a fanfiction writing website or have the energy to regularly update one or anything like that. I would definitely maybe write short fics on Tumblr one day.. maybe)

The other option being he actually never stopped working on his talents like that and has steadily gotten so much better. (At the start of the show he accidentally sets David on fire, in much later episodes he's able to make rings of flame, already MAJORR improvement!!) He works on his other abilities, making things levitate ect.

So when they start having these hiccups, often small physical items or spells bursting out of him during strong feelings (leading to panic and embarrassment only making it worse.) Harrison feels like it's a total setback. That his work so far didn't mean anything, he has no idea where his powers come from and as they change he apparently has no idea how to control them after all. Alot of old doubts, and new ones emerge. "Maybe it would've been better to have never had them in the first place."

I like to think after awhile he regains this hold over it, and it was just a sign of like. His magic going through puberty/hj and it turns out stronger in the end.

Other older Harrison HCs include he's definitely a swiftie and jumps up on his bed lipsyncing doing a fucking Matilda as shit floats everywhere.

His formal vest and top hat get switched out for a casual vest and beanie hat (constant hat hair) wouldn't it be so funny if he had a top hat shaped pin on it/hj

His like signature little thing I love putting on his clothes and drawing him with is the ace of spades. Small charms n shit I love it.

His frienemy thing with Nerris as she matures turns more into friend leaning. (Bc like, their dynamic is not 50/50 she is nearly always the one coming at or for HIM 😭 and it's coming from a very childish reasoning- which is okay. Bc she's a child.) So as she gets older and grows out of her issues that caused them to not get along they become closer.

Mostly due to them both being much better friends with Preston and spending time with each other via him.

But since they're older and Preston fills alot of his time with the multiple hobbies he has and Nerris has other friends to hangout with, Harrison is still left on his own sometimes. He goes through these bits of bad mental health and "everyone hates me" thoughts but doesn't really let anyone know about it.

I have this OC Quincy, technically not a camp camp oc I'm actually embarrassed sometimes to add him into things bc he doesn't fit the vibe of cc what so ever but the angst he can make is so good 2 me

He's this demon with magical know-how but no power of hisown. I like to think of Harrison (who notoriously throughout the show wants company.) Kinda ignores all the red flags and "I've always said don't judge a book by it's cover"s his way into accidentally getting manipulated by him. But also getting incredibly helpful magic lessons out of it too before it comes to a head.

[lovelesslittleloser]

Vent post…. yay………

Some context: I write fanfiction sometimes, about whatever I feel like at the time. I don’t usually post any, preferring to just save it as a draft on Wattpad (which I’m used to, as I found it before any other site. Plus it keeps your drafts FOREVER, which I thought was obvious, but I guess not). However, due to technical difficulties (and having it constantly on for like mayyybe four years straight?? Could be six haha moving on), my computer just will not turn on. Which sucks because I had a ton of tabs open, but I’m not too down about that part anymore; the part that I’m VERY down about, however, is the fact that I can’t write anymore. I could use ao3 (and I do to read!) but then I’d be on a time limit (30 days), which would make me constantly stress thinking about it until it’s posted, which would not be good for my mental health. I could use fanfiction.net, as it has a longer time limit (365 days), but I’ve never used it before, and getting used to it would be really hard (it was hard enough with ao3). I’ve tried writing on Wattpad on my phone, but the option to write just isn’t even present?? Which is such bullshit????? And it might be fine if I get the app, but I kinda just. Don’t want to. I also have the ability to use a computer that isn’t mine and just login there, but it’s weird, and everything in my gut and soul is telling me Not To Do That for some reason, so I haven’t yet. I’m really considering just getting the Wattpad app and being done with it, because I’ve had some really good thoughts on a Pokémon fanfic I’m writing, and I wanna write it down so I don’t forget, but I don’t know.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

heblooooo 💖 gimme 1 and 8 woah for the ask game pleeeease

hi dream!! sorry for late response, i fell asleep sdklfjlsdjkf

cw for some racism mentions because i talked about my struggles with being abc growing up

send me some asks (✿◡‿◡)

1. what are 3 things you'd say shaped you into who you are?

hmmm, guess it's time to drop some kat lore LMAO tldr; my struggles with my mental health, fanfiction, and being a third-culture kid ➼ i struggled with my mental health a LOT throughout adolescence and then esp when i headed off to college. bullshit happened that i don't wanna trauma dump about, but i sought refuge through finding communities that also struggled with chronic mental health conditions. started volunteering with them and kinda realized that this is the field i wanna go into! so it provides me with a lot of motivation that i was really struggling to find during that time, which kinda pulled me out of a depressive slump (which is also why i'm worried that i'm not motivated for school/work right now because i'm terrified of falling back into That Place™)

➼ 100% fanfiction and participating in fandoms. i've done it since i was like 9, and officially began writing/rp-ing when i was 12 (coincidentally when the mental health issues started LMAO). to this day (obvs), it's my comfort thing. even when irl is hard, i can at least seek some refuge in the fictional world. ➼ prob being a third culture kid? i always struggled as a kid with feeling like i'm not "chinese enough" to fit into asian communities, but also didn't fit into "american" communities because i'm not white lmao. so like in adolescence, i tried to embrace asian stereotypes to fit in. that didn't go well. in young adulthood, i tried to vehemently deny any part of my heritage and insist that i was too "white-washed" in an attempt to fit in through that. that didn't go well either. now i'm able to embrace both! like the fact that yes i am abc, i (and other third culture kids) have experiences that are different from people that grew up in china and are also different from americans that have been here for generations that do not have any sort of obvious non-american/european heritage.

8. any reacquiring dreams?

i'm dumb and it took a minute to figure out what this was asking ksdjflksdf i'm assuming it's asking if there's something i wanna do that i'd like to do again but missed the opportunity the first time?? probably undergrad tbh. like if i never got involved with Certain People™, then things would have been so much better. i never really got to enjoy the romanticized college experience that everyone seems to talk about and i do miss it. or rather, i'd love to have those years of freedom + no real responsibility that my friends commonly talk about. i probably still would've realized that i'm not a partier regardless, but being out late and just generally having a good time and being able to let loose on the weekends would have been something i would have liked to experience.

[jackalsprey]

Alright cool, with the knowledge of the situation I have I wanna say a thing. Note for anons and anyone else reading that I know bupkis about the TTTE fandom or this character, so take this with a grain of salt. (Also, this is long and I really hope asks don't have a cutoff limit lol)

As somebody who's literally dealt with PTSD and additional side effects of it such as psychosis for the last three years, yes, portraying PTSD *accurately* can be very tricky, especially to people who have not dealt with it personally, or don't know individuals who have well enough to understand how it works. And in all fairness PTSD and trauma is a fluid subject in and of itself. Some people live differently with it. Some people are traumatized and act like nothing happened. Some people are traumatized and never live the same way ever again. It is relevant to the individual and the way they have handled and processed their trauma/s.

And it can be irritating when it's not described accurately. I've read someone's fic (they'll remain anonymous of course) about a character who went through some pretty extensive "you know this generally only happens in fanfiction" trauma. The thing is he didn't portray it well at all. The trauma was jagged and seemed to come and go as the plot needed rather than be a continuous issue. It was underdeveloped, likely from the reader being uneducated to the way trauma physically works (ie the changes in your brain chemistry that alter your sense of perception and fight or flight instincts, as well as cause brain activity to shift so you're more likely to be more forgetful)

So I kinda see both sides: it can be hard to display it accurately, this is true. And yes, some people do use it for the singular "this will make my character be more cool and edgy" thing. Which bites, when you have PTSD and you read PTSD like it's some stapled on trait that they can "randomly have panic attacks". However, I don't think that this makes a person ableist. It more likely makes them uneducated. Trauma is a messy gritty mental health subject and it absolutely sucks ass, can confirm, but there is a difference in writing PTSD poorly because there was a lack of information and writing it poorly "to be an ableist asshole". It's only ableist when it mocks the idea of having PTSD. It's ableist when it treats PTSD as a very minor inconvenience that can be band-aided by a nice conversation with a friend rather than a mental illness that reshapes how your brain thinks.

And if their intentions are in the right place, they mess up a little, and then apologize and work to correct it? Fucking good for you dude, that's progress and betterment. I would rather see a writer do it for a good reason and get it wrong, notice it, and get it right, than a writer who just writes it for the wrong reasons.

Jackal I think you've done just fine with what I've seen so far, but if you do want to ensure better accuracy, you've got me for reference if needed, and also plenty of real trauma survivors and PTSD affected individuals with stories to tell all across the internet. Take it from the people who go through this stuff on the daily, they get it more than the doctors do. XP

YES. YES. YES. THIS!

ALL OF THIS.

THANK YOU PEN!

(Also, I might need reference, I'll let you know if I do)

[corklen]

Exploring an idea

I have written A LOT of angsty Farkle Minkus fanfiction throughout my teenage years. He was my vassal for exploring complex family structures and learning how to write good stories. He was a sponge for my ideas.

My main question in writing these kinds of stories was unpacking Farkle Minkus's family structure and how it has impacted him. Using that I would expand the stories into how it impacted his relationships, mental health and self image.

One possible idea for unpacking him within the Minkus family that I never touched was if his father died. I did write one with his mother's death but never with his father's.

Imagine, Farkle whom doesn't have that great of a relationship with his father finally express it. Not like in Money, but in a more volcanic way. Where his anger and pain starts spilling out.

Like he passes out in class and we can FINALLY address that pothole. But either of his parents are there and this makes Farkle really upset. So Farkle is kinda just stuck at the hospital, and the friend group tries in lots of silly ways to break into the hospital to see him. Finally Farkle is let out by his dad who had a communication breakdown with his mother and thought she had gotten him. Farkle is livid, yelling at his dad. Farkle refuses to stay at his house as he doesnt wanna talk to his dad and sleeps in Riley's closet (without Mr.Matthews knowing). When Mr.Matthews finds out, he forces Farkle to talk to his dad and his dad finally comes to his senses and decides to retire. This choice causes his parents to divorce but its seen in a positive light. Like maybe this relationship isnt healthy and we need to put our sons needs before our own wants and needs.

Farkle is happy and all is well. He feels loved by others (maybe not quite loving himself) but nonetheless life is great.... until his father dies of an unexplained heart condition reason.

His breakdown happens in 10th grade and his father's death happens in 11th grade. Farkle is shocked, upset and determine to find a the reason and cure for his father's death. He refuses to talk to his Mother as he blames her. Justly neurotic, he almost fails out of school and breaks up with Smackle.

This whole thing puts a strain of on the friend group. Lucas confronts Farkle as its been a couple months and he's still acting "normal". His causes a fight and a whole 'Texas Lucas Arch'. Riley chooses Farkle's side, saying they cant just let him go. Lucas and Riley break up, its only until the couple days before Senior year Farkle and Lucas are able to reconnect.

Senior year starting, Farkle's finally reconnecting with his mother and coming to terms with the lost of his dad. He works with Smackle to develop a drug that pretty solves what his dad died from (probably some super scienceity and rare heart disease). Farkle wants Smackle to be the face of the treatment drug, super sweet moment. He is no longer basing his self worth on academic achievement.

Farkle gets into every college, the whole dead dad and solving a rare heart disease is a golden ticket. But the rest of the gang aren't so lucky, expect for Riley who gets on the waitlist as Yale. Farkle decides to give up his spot to hopefully get Riley off the waitlist. Riley gets super mad at this and wants to get in by herself, so she writes an essay on a bay window on campus that connects to her own.

Riley ends up getting off the waitlist and learns that Farkle still had his spot. He had never called the school to give her his spot. This makes Riley realize how much Farkle cares about her and she's like "It's always been him."

Farkle gives a killer valedictorian speed, Smackle was also valedictorian but gave the speed to Farkle. Riley runs in late for some reason, and tells Farkle how much she loves him and how its always been him. They have a sweet kiss and everyone cheers.

Farkle and Riley both go to Yale and Maya goes to the small art school next to Yale. (Smackle doesnt go to college because she's too smart, Lucas goes to play baseball at Wake Forest and Zay gets into lacrosse at made up top lacrosse school).

[jinxed-sinner]

So lots have mixed opinions i wanna know yours, do you like/are you ok with the radiohusk ship or any opinions you have on it

I've elaborated on how I personally interpret Husk and Alastor's current dynamic here, but the summary is that I don't think how Alastor and Husk's dynamic is portrayed in the first season is really abusive (which is an argument I see a lot and seems rooted exclusively in that hallway scene from Dad Beat Dad).

With that out of the way, I don't enjoy it personally just because it's not my thing. I enjoy Husk and Alastor's dynamic platonically (especially because Husk very obviously cares about Alastor's safety and how toxic his friendships are, otherwise he wouldn't have gone to him to tell him Mimzy was probably bringing trouble because that's what she always does), but I don't really see it romantically. I'm like that with quite a few ships, because I tend to gravitate towards ships where I can easily project myself onto one or both characters, which is why I like Radioapple so much (I relate to Lucifer a lot and it makes it easier for me to project onto him, which makes me gravitate towards dynamics involving Lucifer. I also really love exploring platonic dynamics between him and Angel and him and Husk).

I don't have anything against Radiohusk (nor any other Alastor ships, my issue comes when people actively mischaracterize Alastor for the sake of shipping. I won't name any ships here but there is one specific one where I see a lot of Alastor being mischaracterized. Usually I just ignore it). I just have preferences for ships that allow me to explore some aspect of myself as I draw or write the ship. Radioapple allows me to simultaneously explore my asexuality and my autistic traits, as well as how I respond to trauma. I wrote an entire chapter of the Radioapple fic I'm working on that is me exploring my relationship with pain through Lucifer, for example.

I've always done this too because I find writing fanfiction more fun than writing original fiction. When I was writing Sonic fanfiction I gravitated towards Espilver (Espio/Silver) because I relate to Silver, so I could explore certain parts of myself using Espilver. When I was writing D&D Honor Among Thieves fanfiction I gravitated towards Xedgin (Xenk/Edgin) because I relate to Xenk (and Xenk actually partially inspired one of my D&D OCs, and is an important part of that OC's backstory). When I write Ninjago fanfiction, I gravitate towards Gemstoneshipping (Cole/Plundar) because I project onto Plundar (I also gravitate towards ships that involve Zane and Jay because they're also characters I relate to and project onto).

I don't personally mind most Hellaverse ships though, depending on how they're portrayed. BlitzFizz? Love it, I think it's pretty cute. Val/Angel? I think it's interesting to see people explore how abusive and toxic Val is towards Angel (and I just ignore anything that makes me uncomfortable regarding them). Staticmoth? Finest of toxic old man yaoi. Radiostatic? I have an entire headcanon centered around Vox and Alastor having been in a toxic and abusive relationship before Alastor left for 7 years. Lucilith? I love me some wholesome pre-split Lucilith (I've kinda ruined Lilith for myself though lol). Guitarspear? Their dynamic is WONDERFUL, give me all the Adam and Lute content.

There aren't a lot of ships I actively dislike but it very much depends on the execution. If I don't like it I just block or ignore it (because genuinely if you see something you don't like that's what you should be doing). My relationship with shipping amounts to "I like what I like and it's usually because I can explore part of myself by writing fanfiction featuring this ship, and if I see something I don't like I'll just block/ignore it" because I'm 20 and I can't be assed to engage in discourse unless it directly affects me or my mental health (which is why I get so heated about what asexuality actually is and how it applies to Alastor from what we've seen within the show; being asexual myself and having the mentality of "asexuals can't have a libido and are always sex-repulsed" was legitimately damaging for me).

This spiraled out of control but basically, my opinion on Radiohusk is that I don't mind it, I think people need to stop saying Alastor's abusive towards Husk, and it's not personally my thing because I gravitate towards ships with projection/self-exploration potential. If you like it, good for you! I'm not gonna get upset over it because I think that's dumb. I don't know why someone enjoys the ships they do and it's none of my business anyway.

[minyooon3012]

intro: who am I?

Ok, I may not know much about blogs but I'm pretty sure everyone at some point posts something, right?

So I'm going to write an introduction, kind of a "get to know me"

I live in Italy, but I'm bilingual. For some people this may seem shocking, but I HATE this place (sorry). Maybe I spend too much time on Pinterest? But I grew up in England, so warm weather and loud people isn't exactly my go-to. I'm the type of person that would sit for an hour with music and a cup of tea while looking out the window when it rains.

I'm kinda-sorta obsessed with MBTI, I'd think "what's your personality type" after meeting you (hope that doesn't sound creepy as fuck like it did in my mind). I got typed twice an INTJ, twice as an INTP and once an INFP so you can kinda guess I might be questioning a lot of things.

I also love BTS with all my heart (laugh at me, I don't care), since I found them when my life was...shit, to say the least. Namjoon will forever be my free therapist, if I ever met him I'd literally start crying and I'd thank him (and the rest of the boys) for everyhing. That sounded fucking cheesy (?), anyways

I don't really label myself, you could say I'm bi, or pan, or demi, or just a confused straight person if you want. You could label me as "I don't know", that would be accurate.

My mental health has been kinda bad since...maybe 2022? Depression and shit. I feel better now, though. I have some friends and I go to therapy so baby steps :))))

I love reading, if it's books, fanfictions (a lot, sorry), mangas, manhwas, whatever. I'd honestly read the back of a cereal box.

I don't know what i want to do or who I wanna be, but I hope I'll make my own career in music or music productions (I wanna make you proud, Yoongi). I play the guitar, so that's a head start! :D

The end of my super-duper-extra long essay of self reflection

[keefwho]

January 31 - 2023

5:08 PM

I slipped up on my mental health practice but I’m back on it today. I re-read the Defusion chapter in my ACT book. I’ve been meaning to read over all the 6 pivots again now that I’ve been employing the techniques in my own way for awhile. I predict re-reading them with my new in-the-field understanding of everything will help me glean more information out of them and check if I’m on the right track. With defusion, I almost got bored reading it. I think I have this part down. I think its what I’ve put the most focus into since it has the most immediate impact. I’ve become adept at monitoring my thoughts and steering myself away from getting sucked into them too much. I often end up pulling myself back by reminding myself that there is a difference between my consciousness and my feelings. I can always choose what I’m doing no matter how I feel or what I think. 

12:35 AM

I want to fast track my self discovery journey because I have nights like this where I truly feel in tune with myself. I can look in the mirror and see myself like I’m looking at a person with wants and dreams. I can see my own potential. I know I’m dynamic and evolving beautiful person. And while I already feel like this towards other people, it makes those views even stronger when I’m like this. I already know having a strong sense of self fosters better connections with others. Thats what I want. I want to love myself for the sake of being healthy like eating my vegetables. But I also want to love myself so I can love others even more that I do now. I want beautiful and meaningful connections. 

I know this is a change in tune but I do not want to suppress this side of myself. I just sucked dick SO good, my lord. And it got me inspired. I was reading this fanfiction I commissioned that involved an acquaintance of mine and I’m still horribly aroused by the scenario. The problem is I don’t really like the fic that much. It’s lacking in the sexual descriptions and is not blowjob based which is what I was after. So I was inspired to take the entire idea and re-write it as long and in depth as I want. I’ve never written something like that before but I’d be interested in seeing if I could do it and get off to it. 

Its nights like this I wish I had someone to share how good I feel and how proud I am of myself for growing so much. I DO have people like that, they’re just asleep at the moment. And it’s kinda weird trying to bring myself up like that, I don’t wanna be the guy that talks about himself. I should be able to enjoy my pride by myself and be content enough. 

I was thinking about expanding the way I plan and schedule. I was trying to steer away from the idea to foster more on-the-go thinking but I think it’s okay to starting planning more. It’s what I feel is right. Of course I want to avoid thinking I need to stick to rigid plans and systems but I want to have them for when I’m struggling to make choices. The problem right now is still how many projects I want to do and how to allocate the energy for them in a reasonable manner. Also figuring out how to prioritize them. Right now what I have isn’t perfect. I basically write down a 3d and a 2d project to focus on and put 30 minutes minimum into each one daily. Slowly but surely they will get done. Its the most stable thing I’ve come up with so far but there has to be something better. It might all be about my drive too or how I choose to work. I always fall into the thought process that I need to be in the right mood so I can maximize how much I get done in a little amount of time. But I know a better way to do it is to accept that putting time into something no matter what is more important. I can’t rely on waiting for a good mood. And more often than not, getting started is what gets me going. It takes discipline but I know I can get better at this. 

[scoopsgf]

can u guys like. send asks maybe. im rlly goin thru it tbh

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

Masterlist {Request Open!}

Warning- This account contains sensitive topics (such as abuse) if these are sensitive or triggering to you, please leave, for your sake. Also, DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS SUCH AS WATTPAD OR TIKTOK, MY WORK WILL STAY ONLY ON TUMBLR AND MY Ao3, NO WHERE ELSE.

Last Time Updated: August, 23rd, 2024

Request Status: Open!

Mental Health Status: WONDERFUL Hello! I'm Bunny Mask/Bell/Ghost, call me whatever one of these names or just give me a nickname I don't mind! I write Yandere, Dark Content and a lot of angst, and some fluff. I'm currently writing for Creepypastas.

HOW TO SEND A REQUEST (I swear to God if you send a request without read this.)

Current Events

Darktober Writing Event

Where else can you find me?

Ao3 (NSFW SHIT ON HERE)

YouTube (MY ART AND ANIMATIONS)

My Other Blogs

Yandere DSMP blog/Main Blog:

@theghostofblackbunnymask

Yandere Anime Blog/ Side Blog:

@theanimeoftheblackbunnymask

Art Blog/Side Blog:

@theartoftheblackbunnymask

Boundaries

I won't write pregnant readers

If you wanna request something that's for one of my other blogs please send it to that respective blog, I made different blogs for a reason

No incest. Just no.

No Smut, it's gonna be either implied or be like, very quick and minor.

No Stepcest. Don't, and I mean don't, sexualize or romantize step siblings, it's gross. And if you do, don't do it on this blog, go to a blog that allows it, have a good day.

No Pedophilia, I don't need to explain this one.

This is STRICLY an X Reader blog, ships can get controversial.

No soulmate AUs, it's a pet peeve of mine...

Don't rush me or ask when fanfiction is gonna call me out, I have school, sports, and my mental health is awful so be patient with me please.

No platonic yanderes, it's kinda sensitive for me.

If any of my boundaries change I'll update the masterlist.

No Crossovers (unless it's an AU, Like a Heathers AU)

Just no weird shit bro. Like, I'm all about dark stuff but like, some of y'all are sending me weird stuff ngl.

Characters I write for

Eyeless Jack

Ticci Toby

Masky

Hoodie

Jeff The Killer

Laughing Jack

Ben Drowned

The Bloody Painter

The Puppeteer

Candy Pop

Jason the toymaker

Homicidal Lui

Tags I Use (AUs)

.Prison AU

.High School AU

.Insane Asylum AU

.Zombie Apocalypse AU

Current Works

None, send something in!

Something Short Series!

I Love You So~ EJ and Proxies Highschool AU x reader (Idea)

Facts About The Highschool AU Pastas/Proxies

Dating The Highschool AU Proxies

EJ comforting his Darling from a nightmare

Highschool AU

Prison AU Introduction

Zombie Apocalypse AU Introduction

Oneshots

Forced Late Nights (Highschool AU)

Summary: Tonight LJ is hosting a party. Like usual, you weren't invited. However, The Proxies decide to make you their plus ,1, despite your refusals. However, this party isn't exactly what you hoped it'd be like.

The Proxy's Little Pet (Insane Asylum AU)

Summary: You're a physiologist that works at the insane asylum, and you're assigned to deal with the infamous criminals that claim to be the legend, Slenderman's, proxies. Little do you know that these three will be a lot more dangerous than what they seem...

The Proxy's Little Pet Part 2 (Insane Asylum AU)

Summary: After the events that took place at Gullermary Asylum, Y/N has now been released and given a new identity as they reenter society. But as they remember more and more about the 10 years they stayed with the proxies, and the constant paranoia, they realize they'll never be safe.

Paid Internship Part 1 (Prison AU)

Summary: Welcome to your paid internship at Roosevelt Federal Prison. After being seen for your potential and skills by your instructor at the Academy, he decided to give you opportunity of working in the US' most dangerous prison despite the disapproval and rejection from the higher ups. However, due to miscommunication and faulty paperwork, you're gonna up working with some of America's most danger serial killers for the semester.

Headcanons

Yandere Eyeless Jack As A Parent!

Yandere Masky and Hoodie As Parents!

Alphabets

Yandere Jeff The Killer

Yandere Laughing Jack

Yandere Masky

Yandere Eyeless Jack

Yandere Hoodie

Yandere Ticci Toby

[alisonwritesimagines]

I Think I Wanna Marry You ~Rick Flag Imagine~

Summary: Rick proposes and you both have a small wedding.

Author’s Note: I gotta update my masterlists.

Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: fluff. Lots of fluff. And slight hint of smut at the end but no smut. Because I don't write smut on here. Sorry

Rick Flag Fanfiction Masterlist (you do not really need to read from start to bottom but it is highly recommended)

Please do not post this anywhere!!!

Side Note: This is a secondary blog. If you comment a question down below, I will not answer since this is not a main blog. Please send the question to my inbox if you want a response back!

You sat on the beach with Rick by your side as you both stared out into the ocean. You had just finished another mission and were just waiting on the helicopter to take you both as well as your squad back.

"Hey, Y/n."

"Yeah?"

"You know how we have that break once we get back?" Rick asked you.

"Yes."

"Do you want to get married during that time?" Rick asked. You let out a small laugh as you stared at him.

"Are you serious?"

"I love you, darling. I know that now isn't exactly the most perfect time but in fairness, we almost died back there and I do not want to spend another minute with you as your boyfriend. I wanna be your husband until death does us part," Rick tells you.

"You're so cheesy," you smiled at him.

"Is that a yes?" Rick asked you.

"Of course, it's a yes!" You tell him before jumping onto him and giving him a kiss. You pulled away from the kiss before looking over at Harley.

"Harley! I'm getting married!" You yelled to your friend.

"I call being maid of honor!" Harley squealed.

--

It was no surprise that you and Rick had a small wedding. Harley of course was your maid of honor. She as well as Rick's mother were witnesses to your wedding.

"You nervous?" Harley asked you.

"Kinda."

"Well don't be. You're lucky you found a man who loves you. Don't let him go," Harley tells you. You smiled at her before giving her a hug.

"I won't. Thanks for being here for us," you tell her.

"Well, you are one of my best friends," Harley smiled at you.

Harley walked over and sat next to Rick's mom. You walked down over to Rick who smiled happily at you. You smiled back at him before linking your arm with his.

"You look beautiful as always," Rick tells you.

"You look handsome yourself," you tell him.

"Shall we begin?" The officiant asked. You both nodded before they began the ceremony.

It felt like nothing mattered anymore. You had Rick and he had you. When it came to the vows, you both were prepared as you both had written it a day before the wedding. You both faced each other as you mentally prepared yourself for the vows.

"I, Rick Flag, vow to keep you, Y/n L/n, safe from any harm and any danger. I vow to keep loving you even after death does us part. I vow to keep you by my side in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live. I love you so much my darling. I vow to keep you happy and loved every day. I vow to be by your side no matter what," Rick tells you.

"I, Y/n L/n, vow to love you, Rick Flag, no matter what may come to us. I vow to keep you by my side through any challenges we may face. I vow to love you unconditionally until time ends. I vow to be by your side through sickness and in health. I vow to love you, no matter what," you tell him.

"The rings please," the officiant said. Rick's mother handed Rick and you the rings before sitting back down.

"Rick, repeat after me. And Y/n please follow after," the officiant told you both.

"With this ring, I give in token and pledge as a sign of my love and devotion," the officiant said.

"With this ring, I give in token and pledge as a sign of my love and devotion," Rick said as he slipped your ring onto your finger.

"With this ring, I give in token and pledge as a sign of my love and devotion," you repeated as you slipped Rick's ring onto his finger.

"By the power invested in me, in the state of Louisiana, I now pronounce you both, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," the officiant said.

Rick wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you towards him. Rick kissed you passionately on the lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed him back.

"I love you," Rick tells you.

"I love you too," you tell him back.

[ratsoh-writes]

hii!! i was wondering if i could get matched up with one of the wonderful undertale au skeletons? this is my first time doing one of these matchups and ive only recently been in the ut fandom, so here goes!

on the outside im a little shy and keep to myself and try to listen to the other person, but truly im like meeting people! i guess you could say im a bit of a shy extrovert/ambivert lol – i love hanging out with people but people are scary sometimes @_@ im the type of person that couldn't decide if they wanted to go out to the mall or play video games inside, though i have days where i kinda just wanna lay down and relax, life can be tiring. if i had to have a SOUL color, i think it would be green for kindness!

the inside of my mind is constantly the "hey so ummm not to be annoying but could you confirm that you still like me and have not decided to randomly hate me" meme. i always get so concerned about others opinions of me, and i have my moments with my anxiety where i worry excessively over something I've said and i apologize for saying that or bothering someone or even existing >_< i need a lot of reassurance and my self esteem has passed the event horizon of a supermassive black hole plz give me cuddles

i get crazy for anything having to do with video games or technology to be honest! im not an expert, but i like fooling around with games and even soldering or coding small electronics. ive fallen out of the habit, but i want to get back into it, but genshin impact has taken up most of my current attention ^_^; sports are alright, though my body doesn't like being outside (so many allergies + eczema + asthma). most of the time i have to do indoor activities, but window shopping in the mall or Amazon, reading fanfiction (like so much oml) and video games are my usual pastimes.

pet peeves and deal breakers? not many but i do have some strong ones. i don't really want to be with someone that actively hurts others maliciously, or is inconsiderate of my needs. ive been neglected and left to fend for myself emotionally a lot, and sometimes i just need to be with someone I trust. all my life ive been asked so many questions and given so many opportunities to lead that ie don't really feel like i can do that all the time, so I'd like to be able to have someone that's willing to guide me and help me since I've never had a romantic relationship before.

the most important thing to me in life is just making it through the day or week and just being happy. my health (mental and physical) has been declining so much over the past couple months, and honestly sometimes my brain says i won't be able to make it through the next day. i just want someone who's willing to support me and help me see what's so wonderful about this life to live :3

im 5' 1", Non-Binary demigirl (they/she) and im kinda thin, and i absolutely SIMP for anyone that is tall.

btw, your writing is so good and there's so much of it! keep doing what you're doing cuz it's so awesome and undertale skeletons are so cool! (and kinda hot)

happy Valentine's Day and i hope your day is filled with love!

I’ve got just the boy for you!

I’m matching you with….

Salt!! (Lustswap papyrus)

You are really his type. Salt loves the shy nerds and can’t help but to gravitate towards them. He likes the layers he gets to peel away as you become more comfortable around him. Salt is all about the chase, and you make the perfect mouse.

Salt sucks at video games. Just throwing that out here. But he will play with you. And it will be funny as heck. If you’re playing a team game, make sure he’s not on yours.

Salt is good for someone who needs a lot of reassurance. He’s observant and picks up on body language easily. He’s also good with his words and knows what to say to help settle the nerves.

Salt LOVES cringey fanfiction purely for the laugh factor. But sometimes he gets really into the romances and will fall into the trap of living a fandom without actually knowing the show lol. If you introduce him to the fanfics first, there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll start obsessing over your favorites with you