#i know i shouldnt but ive always wanted to get in a fight

[sorikkung]

you ever have like three major inconveniences all in a row and then have google maps draw a dick on your way home alone at night just to spite you because it knows you're lost anyways and

[zeldasnotes]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 35 🛸

🛸 Venus in the 8th house might like to keep their art or source of income hidden or a secret. They might feel like art is something private and intimate. Rappers with this placement might always have the skimask on (no face no case) and painters with this might have a separate anonymous account for their paintings that nobody knows is theirs.

🛸 Asteroid Fan(151590) in the 12th or 8th house or in a scorpio or pisces degree gives a lot of secret fans.

🛸 Moon trine Venus in a mans chart makes him very comfortable with his feminine side. Often very well liked and sought after among women where they live. Men with this placement dont even have to be attractive they will still bag the baddest.

🛸 Mercury in Scorpio, Mercury/Pluto people are the kind of people to see two shady people walking towards them and in 2 seconds figure out what to say to not be robbed. They know how to deal with shady people.

🛸 Fixed star Unukalhai (22° Scorpio) shows success followed by fall. So if you have this one prominent never get to cocky when you reach success. It makes me think of the saying ”Be kind to the people you meet on your way up because you will need them on your way down.”

🛸 Look at my career asteroids post HERE and look if you have any of those asteroid conjunct especially North Node or MC. Megan Fox for example have asteroid Actor(12238) conjunct her North Node.

🛸 Eros(433) Square Psyche(16) in synastry might meet under the most inappropriate circumstances. Bumping into eachother when you cant talk like when one of you are with a parent or with a partner. Eros(433) conjunct Psyche(16) on the other hand will bump into eachother at the exact right time and place.

🛸 Abundantia(151)- (Abundance) literally means ”a large quantity of something” so check where yours is. Ive seen this in the 8th house of a lot of nepo babies.

🛸 Erato(62) means 'the awakener of desire' which is why she is so common in the charts of models and celebrities. People with this asteroid prominent are also experts at making themselves even more desireable to the public. Marilyn Monroe have this conjunct Mars in the 8th house and she was said to cut down a bit of her heel to get the wiggle walk, keep her facial hair/peach fuzz so that it reflected the light and made her more glowing. She was an expert awaking desire.

🛸 Having a lot of Neptune conjunctions in a chart especially to Sun, ASC, or MC is going outside and NOBODY notices you and the next day you go outside and EVERYONE stares. You will either be invisible or look like a celebrity depending on the day and your mood. almost never anything inbetween.

🛸 The worst year of my life was the year I had Moon conjunct Saturn in the Solar Return Chart. I swear I was put through HELL that year and it was especially women giving me a hard time.

🛸 Jay Z having his 7th house ruler conjunct Venus makes so much sense. He is considered extremely lucky. His chart ruler being neptune adds to this. Being with Beyonce seems so unreachable. I often see memes like ”If Jay Z was able to get Beyonce I shouldnt be afraid to ask my crush out” or other stuff to point out Jay Z should be lucky. With strong Venus energy to the 7th house you will get the one ”everyone wants” easily.

🛸 When I have both 7th and 8th house synastry with a person Ive noticed that only they are allowed to fight with me. Nobody else is. We can despise eachother but when they see me in trouble they will protect me over the other person.

🛸 Venus/Saturn, Venus 10th house & Capricorn Venus people are very aware of the social codes. Might be uncomfortable around people who dont ”act right”.

🛸 Scorpio and Pluto shows obsessive energy. Can shows what you are constantly thknking about without being aware of it. Scorpio Mars might be in constant competiton or constantly thinking about opps or revengeplans.

🛸 Ive noticed the same with Lilith. A constant underlaying energy that you cant escape. Lilith 2nd house are always thinking about money or money constantly comes in the way in some way like an annoying mosquito. With Lilith 8th house everything turn into something sexual. A very annoying energy.

🛸 Venus/Saturn is starting to like your appeaeance in your 20s but then it feels pointless because you needed that hotness growing up.

🛸 Some nasty rumours were spread about me in 2013 so i just checked my solar return chart for that year and i had Mercury and Dejanira conjunct MC that year.

🛸 I think I had beef with like seriously 10 different men the year I had Mars in the 8th house in the solar return chart. And it was mostly because of me saying no to them.

🛸 North Node in the 8th house often experience some kind of extremes that most people dont. Homelessness, constant loss or poverty. They are also often on Life Path 8.

🛸 Not the town player where I live whos been with EVERY girl in my town having Fama(408) conjunct both Mars and asteroid Casanova(7328).🤦‍♀️

© 2024 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved

[badgyalshii]

WANNA TRY IT WITH ME?

word count: 3.1k?

warnings! smut, maybe some typos, oral (f) and missionary, overstimulation, some dirty talk.

pairing! only fans!timothee chalamet x (f) friend!reader (ALWAYS SAFE FOR POC + PLUS SIZE)

a/n: hereee goes my long awaited apology for the finale of its never over🙄 i hope you guys enjoy! two hands on the phone please😏 the “xxx” is a divider btw i just got lazy lmao TELL ME IF IT SERVES CUNTTTT (requests are open)

have you read the series? check it out!

like shii’s writing!? check out her masterlist for her future imagines/series! (that needs to be updated, come on shii wtf r u doing😒)

It was no secret that timothee owned a onlyfans, he didnt really talk about it though. He didnt want it to be the main conversation between him and his friends, he kept the subjects separated but he was very close with his fans. You said you would always support what he does and even registered for an account to follow him, he tried to fight it and block you from his page, but you said it wasnt really that big of a deal considering you would never open the app and just to let you love him, to which he sighed and let it go, but convsersations were awkward because in the back of his mind he didnt know and was wondering you ever watched his videos. It was only a side gig, but he wanted to focus on college and small acting.

One day, you decided to initiate the conversation with timmy while you both ate chinese. ¨i just felt like if i talked to you about it then it would be hard for you to separate me from being a normal sensitive person from being ya know….that¨ he explained, you shrugged. ¨i mean, i wouldnt look at you differently- not that ive watched but i know you, and how could i judge such a sweet person like you? The only thing that i would have questions about is, like, is it awkward? On camera? Im not even comfortable with myself so put myself on camera and do that-¨ ¨if you dont like yourself, trust their is someone to appreciates you like ten times more than you do on a good day. Theres no reason for you to feel like that¨ he said looking over before eating the rice with a fork. You let out a hum and things fell silent as you both watched a movie, but it was clear you both were thinking. ¨would- would you like…¨ he looked over at you, your eyebrows lifted as you looked at him, he seemed nervous as his cheeks were slowly turning rosy, he cleared his throat before finishing his question. ¨like try it?¨ he asked, ¨erm¨ you said before thinking to yourself, ¨maybe with someone i trust, could be fun¨ you smiled before asking for the rice, taking a forkfull bite off of the same utensil that timmy used. He shrugged, becoming more comfortable, seeing as you were rather chill about the situation, it was a joke to him, what he was about to say, but the tone that came out otherwise said different.

¨wanna try it with me?¨ your eyes widened in surprise, to which he laughed, ¨joking, im joking¨ he let out with a nervous chuckle leaving his lips, his face was visibly warm now, a big grin on his face trying to fight off the fact that he said that. You chewed and swallowed your rice carefully, not saying a word and looking at him while he looked at you, itching and waiting for your response. You shrugged, ¨fuck it¨ your stomach was doing flips, what were you saying? Are you fucking serious? You thought after you said that, your eyebrows high and a side smile on your lips. His mouth parted, ¨when-when would you wanna do it?¨ he asked, ¨its your page, shouldnt you make the rules?¨ you muttered, setting down the rice. ¨tommorow maybe?¨ he let out, watching you get up, you said yeah and said you had to use the bathroom.

When you made it to the bathroom you looked at yourself in the mirror before letting out a sigh and putting a hand on your face is disbelief, what had you singed yourself up for? Why were you just talking? Were you just talking? It was clear that you both were very attractive, so imagine what people think. Your shared friends already think you guys have something casual going on, so would they really be surprised if you both busted out with a cake saying ¨we did it! We fucked! (and recorded)¨? You bit your lip before running the water and washing your hands, before exiting out of the bathroom and sitting next to timothee again.

XXX

You both shyd away about the idea even if it was just the next day, but here we are. You sat ontop of timothees bed, fully clothed and your hair out of the way. You bit your lip, you were anxious, you didnt know how to feel about this, how would others take it? What if they didnt like you? What if you didnt like it. Timothee sat infront of you the entire time, telling you that it was okay if you didnt want to do it and reassuring you the entire time and double checking in with you. As nervous as you were, there was a small burst of excitement that jumped in your stomach.

He bit his lip, ¨you ready?¨ he asked, holding up the camera, about to record you. On the nightstand sat a white viberator, body oil, and lube just incase. He raised three fingers behind the camera, initiating a count down, he very soon pressed the record button, you saw the red small light from the camera flicker. A smile played on your lips from awkwardness but you tried your best to cover it up. ¨this is y/n. One of my closest friends who wanted to join us today¨ he chuckled, ëyes on the screen as he looked through the camera to see you. ¨but ill let her introduce herself¨ he finished, your eyes widened, you didnt know what to do. ¨im nervous¨ you let out with a pity smile and you both let out a laugh, ¨just get undressed while you introduce yourself¨ he let out a small grunt as he watched you immediately catch on and start pulling up your top.he bit his lip, he couldnt deny you looked fucking great, the way your breasts were laid pretty in that bra and how your hips sat with the hidden treasures just waiting to be touched. You watched as he slowly palmed himself and continued to record. You decided this was the right time to speak up.

¨my name is y/n, but timothee told you that¨ you laughed as you stripped your shirt off, muffled music played in the back but you both werent too focused on that, you wore a matching set for the circumstance, and when your bra was revealed he let out a muttered fuck and applied more pressure to his clothed cock. T̈his is my first time¨ you continued, looking over at the oil before reaching over, your ass in the air as you reached for it he let out a sigh, and watched as your back arched and when you came back at sat correctly, he lended his hand out, ¨i wanna do that¨ he said, and you complied, handing him the oil, he let out a small groan, he was as hard as a rock and youve barely even started, he had no shirt on but he had his grey sweatpants, he took the camera and set it up on its stand on the end of the bed.

When he looked back at you, you sat there innocently, you sat on the back of your calves, legs closed and looking up at him so lost, it turned him on that he could take control and lead you. He softly grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a slowly soft to passionate open mouth kiss, pulling your head towards himself before letting you go and moving behind you, his warm touch on your arms, following all the way up to your neck and you tilted your head back on his shoulder as he now kissed your neck and uncuffed your bra. ¨shittttt¨ he muttered, looking at your tits and taking them into his hands, to which they fit perfectly, your nipple between his first and middle finger, rolling them around as soft sighs of pleasure left your lips, he looked at you the entire time before applying a kiss to your cheek, then your lips. You closed your eyes and let him lead you, you felt like you were falling in his arms and allowed him to take you anywhere, you swore this is what you needed, you almost forgot the camera was even there. He put his hand on your waist before he reached for the oil and while he did that, you stripped yourself from your shorts, revealing your matching thong before getting back into pisition and you looked at the camera, thinking you should be more seductive, you looked at it and let out a moan as the warm oil hit your body, he rubbed it over your chest, your stomach, his touch was gentle the entire time, ¨can you bend over infront of the camera for me?¨ he asked gently, you looked at him and nodded, your ass was pointed to the camera and he moved behind you and to the side, his eyebrows raised as you arched as your already glistening cunt was soaking the thin material of the thong, he applied oil over your ass and rubbed it in before his hands crawled up to the sides of your thong, ¨is it okay if i pull this down?¨ he asked, you nodded and he looked at you before dropping your panties, he let out a sigh of satifacation and rubbed over your entrance, you let out a hum and arched your back further before he plunged a finger into your soaking wet cunt, your mouth dropped as he slowly fingered you, he watched as your walls tighten around his fingers, his mouth dropped and he couldnt wait to put his dick inside.

He lifted up your ass as he started to apply pressure and finger harder, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked back at him. ¨like that?¨ he asked as he continued to finger, you bit your lip and nodded your head, your hips moved back into his hand as a small smirk played on his face before he stripped his fingers away, you let out a whine, wanting him to keep going before he surprised you and applied his tongue to your clit, your mouth dropped, his tongue was circling and you let out a moan.

¨timmy” left your lips, fuck. Is this what you were missing out on? Your stomach has butterflies as you leaned back wanting more, he let out a chuckle against your lips in cockiness seeing as you were enjoying this. He shook his head against your pussy and you moaned his name again. ¨dont stop, make me cum timmy¨ he let out another hum against your pearl before pulling away with a pop. ¨make you cum? Want me to make you cum baby?¨ he asked, pumping his fingers.

You looked back at him and seen your juices covering his lips, you could finish just now, looking at his low eyes, looking at him made it seem like he was clouded with ecstasy. He licked his lips and you nodded, letting out a soft please. He kissed your ass before getting on his knees and pulsing into your pussy harder, your eyebrows furrow as you close your eyes, opened mouth gasps and a deep moan just rips away from your lips, fuck, you couldnt take it. And the way timothee looked at you didnt help, ¨shit¨ he muttered, taking his thumb and rubbing your pearl in complete circles. Your mouth hung low as your belly started to heat up, you could feel yourself about to explode. You let out a whine and he bit his lower lip, ¨look at me, look at me while i make you cum¨ he circled faster, you looked at him desperate, desperate to finish.

And suddenly you did, ¨timmy!¨ you let out, your eyes rolling and the way he tried to ride your high out was overstimulating for you so you jerked your body from his fingers, to which he laughed at. ¨shut up¨ you laughed, putting your heand in your hands as your stomach continued to burn from the release. ¨you okay?¨ he asked again, you nodded yes and it was okay and that you were ready for the next round, he smiled at you, and you smiled back, before something else caught your attention. He was clearly breathing heavier and as you shamelessly panned his body, and something else was clearly looking at you.

He didnt try to hide it, instead, he grabbed it while he looked at you, ¨missionary? Or?¨ he asked. You shrugged in return, you liked that he mentioned missionary first, “is that a good angle?” you asked, “any shot with you in it is a good angle, y/n” he said, stripping from his sweats and boxers before coming over to press a kiss on your lips. Once again, the kiss became heated, he leaded you to lay on your back while your lips were still together. He came down and laid firm on you, pressing up against your bare pussy. You held onto his curls as his soft lips were on yours, his tongue entered your mouth, shamelessly clashing against yours, your teeth. It was so hot, he pumped himself before pressing up against your entrance. He rubbed his dick messily against your clit, looking at you jutter under his touch, he kissed your head before he entered slowly, a soft sigh left your lips as you made eye contact with him, watching his eyebrows press together from the easy slip in, to the tight satisfying feeling of your pussy wrapped around his hard throbbing dick. He looked at you for approval, and you nodded.

“y/n, fuck you feel good” he muttered, his mouth opening as you opened your legs further, wanting more. A throaty moan left your mouth as you leaned up on your elbows to watch him fuck you, his dick hit your spot everytime and he only moved faster. “Timmy, keep going” you moaned, your head tilting back from the euphoria. He reached up and grabbed your tit, massaging it as he continued to let out moans, “fuck, like that? You like that?” he muttered, now focusing and putting his hands on both sides of your head. He rocked his hips thorough, his mouth agape and low groans ripping away as the headboard of the bed clashed against the wall time and time again.

“yes! mmph-“ you were cut off by how deep his dick was inside you and how your sensitive nipples tickled in his touch, the way he looked so focused and lost in the moment only made you more wet, you tilted your head back and let out a cry, he was hitting the same spot over again and fucking you harder, you felt your walls clench desperately and that only motivated him more. “timmy!” you whine, putting your hand on his stomach and closing your legs around him, the sound of skin on skin became more relevant as he didnt stop, “i got you” he let out in a breathy, low and seductive tone.

he slapped your hand out of the way before taking it and your other and placing them ontop of the pillow, holding your hands by the wrist as he came down and kissed your sweet spot, “oh my- mmm!” a high pitched hum broke and tried to hide your neck, this was all so overpowering and it felt so good, “where do you want me to cum, y/n” he whispered in your ear, “fuck!” he closed his eyes and his hips rutted slowly, still having powerful strokes, “inside” you let out, he looks up at you before letting out a laugh, “are you crazy? you’re gonna get pregnant- shit” the pleasure took over, canceling his sentence.

“i wont” you shook your head, fuck thats all you wanted, for him to fill you up, give himself to you fully. he looks at you and presses a kiss to your lips before letting out an okay, he takes one of his hands off of your wrists to come down and rub your clit, but it was difficult considering how wet you were. your body was overstimulated and tried to fight his hand off by moving your hips, but when you moved them it just made him go deeper, past your spot, you froze in that position, your body shocked as he hit a point you didnt know anyone could. “fuck! dont stop!” you scream in a whiney tone, keeping your hips where they were. “cum for me” he said, his jaw clenching as he looked at you with all seriousness, “take it, take it from me make me cum!” you cry, his hand moved faster against your clit and more rough groans left his lips, your mouth suddenly became agape and he looked at you, your eyes pouring into his as you came. “timmy, im, im cumming” your eyebrows furrowed, it felt like the world stopped, your body jerked and released all the knots in your stomach. he came down and you both shared and open mouthed sloppy kiss, he bit his lip and and looked down at you, fucked you harder and the bed creaking and the camera was so close to flipping over.

“mmm” his lips pursed together, fucking you faster now, “timmy!” you cried again, before his mouth dropped, a whiney moan left him lips “y/n, y/n, aw, fuckkk y/n” he said over and over again, feeling his seed shoot up in your stomach as he looked at you, both eyes were desperate for each other, so hazed in the stars. he let you go and your arms went under his, holding him as he let out “uhs” as he finished cumming inside you, and making sure you got all of it as he messily rutted his hips until failure. your back came off the matress as you accepted the cum shooting up your pussy as your chest uncontrollably heaves.

his head falls into the deep of your neck, still breathing heavy but applied kisses there. Once he catches his breath, he sits back up and pulls out, a curse leaving your lips as he grabbed the camera and pointed it at you, you looked at him behind the camera, he was still breathing heavy and he reached his hand to your lips, his thumb brushing over them before you took it into your mouth and sucked, a smirk and a small chuckle left his lips before he took out his thumb and traced it along your body, you were covered in sweat, your body glistening heavenly, or at least he thought so. the camera following, all the way down until he zoomed in on your fucked out area, seeinng the cum slowly leaking from your hole and your clit visibly swollen. he separates your folds from each other, “man i could really eat you out again” he joked.

[puppyjune]

kill her. kill her. kill her.

she looks so beautiful. the bruises. the tears.

but the blood. the blood is holy. divine; the original temptation. once i see scarlet spread across her skin, i can barely stop. the lust, the drive, the carnal desire for brutality.

eyes starting to glaze over, i finally lessen my grip on her neck. so close, edging myself with her life. can i really hold myself back? what if i dont stop?

theres always next time.

why must i be so angry? its all ive known. walking into existence brings me these feelings. part of me wants to grow, but the comfort of that angry impassionate shell is so tempting. i try to step out, brave the new world of emotion. it backfires. over and over, all i know is negativity. oh, but how satisfying that rage is. grab that bat, lay her down whether she wants it or not.

…that may not be "kind", or "empathetic". but what else do i know? its just so easy to do. shes practically begging for it, im actually being nice by abusing her; right?

no no no, i get told that isnt the right way. but if so, why does it feel so good? is this the forbidden fruit? let me bite into her skin and learn what true sin is, carve it into her so she can be enlightened. oh, to be cut. the beauty of those lines, they make shiver with delight.

ah. empathy. that thing. do i really need it? i do? thats fucked. well, lets try a different approach.

brushing away some hair, i kiss her forehead and pull her close. the weight of her head on my body, the way she smiles, it just warms my heart. maybe i can understand what it means to be kind and empathetic. but why does she look at me that way? i must be imagining it. she couldnt possibly want… that. i blush, thinking of how close i came last time; shes probably thinking im blushing from her beauty right now. but all i can think of is the image of her choking herself for my pleasure. the knife on her skin.

i cant stop myself, i need that. violence, god does it make me feel fulfilled. its my one true passion, my vice, the thing that keeps my heart beating and my lust fueled. and why shouldnt i indulge? shes asking for it. obviously. cmon, that was totally what she was thinking, i dont need to ask. its more fun if i dont ask her.

ah, here again. layed out before me, a canvas to play with. i start sweet, checking in after every hit, watching where i hit and how hard, making sure to kiss her marked body.

hit, hit, hit. i look into her eyes, shes starting to squirm, maybe the pain is a bit much? i start to think about asking her if i should tone it down, or maybe just tone it down without asking, play it safe.

oh fuck, shes starting to squirm. this is what i need, the nectar ive been craving. i cant stop myself, i cant hold back. keeping her pinned down, swing after swing of that whip crashes down. my vision blurs, i feel such immense lust i cant think of anything else. how many hits until she fights back, until i have an excuse to really raise the stakes? oh please little pet, try and fight me. i need you to, then i cant be blamed for what happens next. but i get stopped. some part of me pulls me back, telling me to slow down. she gets to live a little longer.

i cant just stop now, i need to get these feelings out. "turn over. now."

good, now i have a fresh canvas to once again paint with pain. over and over, i whip her. its just, not good enough. i already did this, im over it, the rush is gone. i need to kill.

looking over, i see my bat. or specifically, a kendo sword. those bound strips of wood, that slight bend, just adds such a wonderful sprinkle on top of the pain from the swing. shes still down, dazed from the whip.

hit. hit. hit. kill. break her legs. she cant run. she cant resist. one swift hit to the head, bash her face with the bat, then there will be no resistance.

oh, ive done it again. i nearly couldnt stop myself. here i am, having mounted her, bat pressed against her neck, my entire weight and strength being offered for her demise. i need it, i need her to die. i need to kill. the marks on her legs shine against her pale skin. i made sure each leg had a good enough mark to make it difficult to walk, impossible to run. along with every. other. bruise. god, does she look beautiful. i feel true pleasure fill my heart as i look into her eyes. those divine eyes. tears silently rolling down her reddened face, the look of pain only brought by my abuse, the way you can see just how close she came to death. those dull eyes, barely able to comprehend what they see. if i could only have one wish, it would be to watch the life drain from peoples eyes as i use them for my pleasure.

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

[autism-connoisseur]

ive been yelling about this pesterlog in sids dms for 3 mins now hello

just.... so many things......

vriska wanted to fight jack to protect her friends. shes the only one in her group that god tied. its on her. ((so many trolls do this. feel like they have this task thats /theirs/. no one else can do it. no one can understand or shoulder the burden for them. the exact wording is "if not me, then who?" and isnt that just the perfect example of alternian society, expecting them to perform the impossible on their own, making them feeling like no one can help so they shouldnt even think of asking. thats why karkat as a leader and as a knight of blood does the impossible by keeping them together. everyone has always told them they CANT rely on others: the others are too weak, the others wont understand, the others are too good for you, you are too good for the others, etc. teamwork was something alien to them and yet karkat got them through the full game)).

if vriska goes fight jack, he follows her trail ((much like a dog would may i add)) and kills karkat and terezi. kills like half of her remaining friends, who are one of the biggest reasons shes fighting. she thinks of their safety before she thinks of her glory!! of course she wants to be savior of the universe, but she wants to be savior of her friends before that.

but most of all, killing jack means meeting the other session safely. means not having to hide anymore. means meeting /june/, and the other humans. means seeing their ways and behaviors so different from the trolls', yet something that calls to vriska. sure, karkat would fit better as a human, but her? could she fit as a human? could she be like a human, or a troll thats like a human, or even more of a human with a hint of troll? shes willing to give it a shot. and who best to try it with than her favorite human, the one who knows about her doubts about "the test", the one that doesnt understand the way she sees killing but tried to support and listen to her anyways, the one who doesnt judge her for being too much of a troll or not enough of a troll or for the things she did while trying to fit into her supposed place??

and none of that matters because if she challenged jack, she would lose. shed get her friends killed before he even bothered with her. and we dont even /know/ if she would win, or if shed survive even if she did.

none of that matters either, because on the alpha timeline shes dead. she laid her heart bare for june and now shell see and respond and it wont matter because vriska needs to die.

[iwantanywayyy]

dad and i are sitting on the couch together watching tv. it's Friday night so neither of us should be worried about getting up early tomorrow. i honestly always feel on edge when i have to stay at dad's for the weekends. he watches me do things i know dads shouldnt but he says it's because he loves me and wants to make sure im healthy and safe.

as we're watching the movie he keeps hinting i should go to bed because it's late. every time he talks he presses his toes up against me...i shudder every time and cant help clinging onto the side of the couch. i swear sometimes i see him smirk. he seems annoyed every time i tell him i want to stay up and shakes his foot against my pajama shorts before slightly relieving pressure.

after the fourth time hinting he got up and started muttering to himself as he walked to the kitchen.

i quickly shoved my hands under my panties and checked and oh gosh im so wet why am i wet?! im scared because i know dad does bad things but i can never remember anything i feel crazy and if im wet does that mean i like it? does he know i like it? i hear his footsteps coming back and i quickly squirm back into the position i was in before he left trying to make my face cool down.

he has a cup of water in each hand and i smile in appreciation as he gives me one. taking a few sips i go to put it down but dad tells me to keep drinking because it will make me go to bed quicker. he says he's tired and will do the same but he cant sleep until i do so he counts us down and we both finish our waters before he puts his arm around me and lets me cuddle against him. honestly it made me kind of uncomfortable but dad is so big and he was so warm and made me feel safe at the same time.

as the movie goes on i feel my eyes starting to get hazy. i didnt think the water trick was gonna work that quickly (i didnt think it would work at all honestly but dad's old and maybe it works for him) i mutter out to him im sleepy and try to stand up to bring myself to my bedroom but in my efforts dad firmly grabs my thigh and plops me back down next to him. i dont know why but this made me giggly  so i tried standing up again just so he'd do it and i stumbled back on the couch letting myself fall all the way back.

my eyes were closed for i dont know how long and i felt so sleepy but dad woke me up when i felt his teeth biting into my neck making my eyes flutter open and i couldnt help but cry out i didnt know what was happening i looked down and my tits were pulled out of my top and dad has two fingers trying to shove their way into my little pussy as i squirm against him starting to cry pleading with him over and over to stop but he just hushes me and grabs my neck pulling me up with one hand and pushing me flat against the couch as he strips my pajama shorts off my flailing legs as he tried to force them apart but i fight against him which i shouldn't have because he took his second hand and brought it up to my neck choking me so hard i thought i was going to die!

when he let go i gasped for air and laid there as he easily picked up my legs and placed himself between them. i started crying when i looked down and saw his face pressed against my pussy and felt his tongue drilling my little hole.

"mmmmm little girl stop crying this little pussy is so wet for your daddy isnt it? ive tasted this cute little cunt before you know that sweetheart?"

he shoved a finger inside me making me cry out and beg him to stop i couldnt think at all i felt so weak what was he doing and why didnt i want him to actually stop?!

"you've got no fight left babygirl? you want daddy to breed that tight little teen pussy?"

i laid on the couch exposed and dripping, crying, feeling defeated as my dad pushed my thighs against my chest and lined his big cock against his daughters pussy that he just ran his tongue all over like an animal not caring what im feeling just taking what he wants.

"I'm a filthy fucking man baby im gonna rape my seed into your little teen cunt do you know what that means sweetie?"

i stopped writing there dangit i wanted to know what happened next :/

[skrs-cats]

have you read the lion blaze self harm scene? kinda sh ig he basically lets …ratscar i think like scratch him up bad by holding his powers back. interesting to me what’re ur thoughts? (idk if that’s the right definition, i’ve always defined it as having someone/yourself injure your body with the intent to hurt) sorry if this is a downer, i just know your a lion blaze enthusiast and wanted to know your thoughts

ohhh yes i do actually. its one of the few scenes i remember better bc i actually own the book where it happened.

to elaborate on the scene more, it happens after he has an argument with cinderheart, who claims they shouldnt be together since he's part of the prophecy, how his destiny is to save the clans (and coincidentally not get hurt) and them being mates would only be distractions

lion's rebuttal? instigate a fight w a patrol near the shadowclan border, disallow himself to fight back, and force the wounds to get inflicted on his body, as a show that he CAN choose to get hurt. that he CAN choose what kind of 'destiny' he should have. ive put my own thoughts about it under read more bc this got long (unsurprisingly jkhasdkjfhd)

i spent like a solid few minutes re-reading the chapter to gather my thoughts on it LOL i remember not thinking much about it when i was a kid, but i think its interesting to analyze now!

what was attempted to be written, at least, piques me bc its about lion trying to prove that they can exist outside of the narrative the prophecy has given them. which is funnily ironic, since the start of the chapter is of him having self doubts regarding saving the clans when they found out theres a fourth cat, how that basically means that the three of them wouldnt be enough, how his destiny might have changed. reading this chapter just gave me a new can of brainworms but ill try not to delve into it too much bc its gonna get way messier LMAOOO

to go back to lion purposely getting himself hurt, i dont think he's the type of person who would do that for the sake of it, unless as a really dumb way to prove a point. but it makes me think he really doesnt have much of a care of whether he'd get hurt or not. a severe lack of self-preservation, and all that. cats back at camp react to his wounds w all around shock, he's herded into the med den all the while he acts like he'll be fine. i dunno if the shock from the cats is just bc theyre just so used to seeing him NOT hurt, or if his wounds were really that bad. but either or both still pretty much gives me a lot to think about. homeboy doesnt know the limits of his body, and that makes for interesting scenarios of how he manages to deal w that after losing his powers

[big-greer]

I know i dont usually post stuff like this, for the longest time if you had asked me what my gender was id say i was a regular guy..but in truth i say that but i never really felt like i "Fit" with the term guy. Like in my brain whenever i think of myself i never really think specifically about being a male. Before i just assumed "oh its cause i am one, obviously i wouldnt consciously think of that. its sort of a given" but looking back that clearly wasnt the case, always joked how i barely counted as a guy and most people either would laugh like its a joke but a few days ago a coworker asked why..and i sort of froze up cause i had never really stopped and asked myself why? Like i knew i didnt act like a normal guy, i didnt think like one, i never had that attachment to the title of being male. so i always felt this disconnect from manhood, and even when my father tried to teach me to be a man it always felt like i was just an outsider looking in and learning a lesson through a window or something. he tried all kinds of stuff you would expect a "manly" guy to know, hell he even taught me how to track through a forest (would cut notches in trees and we walked from the top of a mountain to the bottom and had me lead us back following the marks he made. yeah dad take your like 14 year old to the fucking bottom of a mountain and make me track cut marks like some legendary hunter lol). and he would always explain what manhood was and i just....it never connected to me you know? i always chocked that up to the fact my dad was never really around (after he and ma divorced he sorta slowly dissapeared from my life till he was dead one day) and so i figured i wasnt like a regular guy cause i was raised by like, 95% woman only so i thought that might be why? but as ive come to realize it isnt that and ive just never really vibed with the idea of being just a guy, its never clicked for me.

Now dont get me wrong, the idea of using she/her pronouns actually is uncomftorable to me so now i feel like im sort of just floating here? in between gender in my own sort of like...little world and im worried about doing it right. Yeah i know "oh i want to do good at gender which is a logical and reasonable thing that can be done" i know i know. But like, i dont want to wear makeup and dresses and stuff (though nail polish would be nice, perhaps a good black would be cool.) and i feel like i dont particularly want to wear any womans clothing? i like guy clothes, there comfy, fit me nice, and for obvious reasons they are all i got lol. Also i like having my goatee and facial hair so thats also a thing. i just worry that after browsing the nonbinary tag that cause of stuff like this i wouldnt be good at being nonbinary, or that i would do it wrong. OH also that i would still be comfortable with people using he/him pronouns as well as they/them but wouldnt feel comftorable with somebody using she/her ones (perhaps this is just cause he/him pronouns are all ive known my entire life and thats why im more comfy with them). yeah all that makes me worried id be doing nonbinary wrong, which i know is a dumb sentence cause nobody can do gender "wrong" and that its a personal thing that is up to only the person whose gender its about feelings on the situation. but that lingering doubt is still in my mind, that i will be some sort of fraud or not ACTUALLY nonbinary and stuff. cause lord knows alot of tumblr views nonbinary as just "WOMAN 2" and if you arnt some hyper androgynous person you arnt actually nonbinary and i know i know, i shouldnt care what fuckin morons on tumblr say.

But gender stuff is new to me, VERY knew. Lord knows i still have strange feelings towards being ace and sometimes worry im not "ACE" enough to be considered ace. so im def still fighting some internal demons about this stuff. But having good friends around is helping out alot and i cant even imagine how id handle dealing with this sort of stuff alone (cause lord knows what little family i got left wouldnt be the most...supportive) anyway uh, gender is fuckin wild and confusing and stupid and simple and everything and nothing and lord does it give me a headache.

[ataraxixx]

How did roleswap citrus meet each other? 0: also how are some of their conflicts reversed? if this is stuff you can share lol :)

HI ok so im still working out a lot of this au in my brain bc i am kind of bad at aus so sorry if some of this seems kind of bad or makes no sense….. This is also gonna be a long one and answer a lot more than just ur question so sorry. But i need to infodump it somewhere </3 ill put it under a break bc this is a LONG One sorry

So for morro ive talked abt how i think hes a robot who was built to fulfill the green ninja prophecy and his is his sole purpose/directive. To defeat the dark lord. Kind of how zane/echo are ‘built to protect’ and live by that (or try to lol). So morro is created a long time before the ninja come together and he seeks out wu in order to figure out how to get to Garmadon. Because his purpose is to defeat garmadon. And wu is like.(who the fuck is this guy) and basically takes him in under the impression that. Maybe he could actually be the green ninja? And even though wu realizes its  definitely not morro he does keep trying to train him bc he doesnt want morro to go off on his own to try and find garmadon. But eventually he has to come clean and morro is annoyed bc he thinks wu has put everyone in danger by stalling the prophecy (he obviously doesnt believe it when wu tells him hes not the green ninja because he *is*!) and he tries to leave as wu predicted, but wu doesnt let him and instead shuts him off for his own protection. Morro gets to live in the monastery basement for awhile and wu always thinks abt powering him back on but doesnt bc hes like. This guy is going to try and do stupid shit (hes right). So he just stays in the basement until obv the ninja arrive and the shows events happen as normal but the monastery gets burned down and in the rush to get out and the move to the bounty, wu forgets abt morro being there… and when he does remember hes there, he ultimately decides its probably for the best if he isnt powered on again bc there IS a green ninja now and he doesnt know what morro would do if he met lloyd. And doesnt want lloyd to get hurt. So cue skybound when nya and jay are on the run from nadakhan, instead of going to the lighthouse they instead go to the ruins of the monastery because jay remembers wu had this cryptic ass basement he would never let the ninja go into, and jay thinks maybe theres some kind of crazy secret weapon in there or something that can stop nadakhan. Instead they find morro, and they power him on. And hes like. Oh! Youre the other ninja from the prophecy. and agrees to help them although hes a little confused on whats going on bc hes like shouldnt we be fighting garmadon… but he joins the substitute ninja in the fight against nadakhan. 

Echo was Dr. Julien’s original son who was alive and like. A #real boy. I think maybe dr. julien wife(??) died in childbirth and echo was born very sickly so dr. julien sought out a magical way to heal him. I think this is probably how he got involved with the skeletons in the first place bc them seeking him out always felt random to me i feel like they should have some history mb. So maybe like samukai or another skeleton was like oh i totally know a spell that will make your son healthy and normal. And dr julien was like . Hm. but kind of desperate so he went with it and of course it  did make his son healthy and normal. Except the price of the spell is that it curses the soul of the person its used on. So echo lived normally with his father for many years until he was outside late collecting firewood one evening and was attacked by treehorns (this was before dr. julien built the guard robot) and A) discovered he had the ability to control the wind which was cool. Except he didnt know how to use it and just kind of fucked up badly and got lost in the woods while trying to run from the treehorns. And B) was still injured in the fight and now Also Lost and basically died trying to get home from both injuries + hypothermia. Rip bozo!. And of course dr. julien was devastated and like pinocchio-core i guess decided to build a new son and that is the  Current Zane. he is a copy but he was never told about that of course bc dr julien didnt want to think abt the son he lost. But yea echos soul was cursed and he went to the cursed realm which  um. Hardened him so to speak. He learned he was cursed because of his father and it pissed him off a little bit but only mildly. But i think the cursed realm is like hell or whatevr so the ghosts go through bullshit all the time bc like. Theyre the souls of the damned or whatever right. So by time echo manages to get out hes become apart of the pre eminents ranks and her plans and what not and hes like sure  whatever. I want revenge on my dad for cursing me (<-- guy who has gone through the ringer) but he gets out at the end of s4 and discovers. Oh. my dad didnt just curse me. When i died he replaced me with a stupid machine! Ok! And he possesses zane and also does pre eminent plan and etc….average s5 stuff i think. Idk im not the best at rewriting seasons if anyone has any ideas for this let me know.

I think at the end of s5 echo doesnt get his shit rocked because i like him. And i think it would be nice if he could get along with zane a little. So maybe he stays as a ghost and maybe nya or borg or whoever builds him a robot body he can possess and use instead of being a ghost all the time:) and he doesnt necessarily join the team bc hes not . a ninja nor does he want to be but hes still the master of wind so hes a useful ally to the ninja and helps them out with bigger threats. LIKE. the sons of garmadon. Transition…. (PS. i also think that echo and morro would meet in skybound bc echo would also be on the substitute ninja team but this would be undone by jay. Of course)

So. the SoG go to the ruined monastery at some point or other to try and find some dirt on the ninja and also just to find old wu scrolls or whatever they can scrounge up. And What they DO scrounge up is this fuckass robot whos been here for however long bc. Obviously skybound didnt happen! And jay and nya never went back for morro bc they were like. Umm he was weird and also would probably try to kill lloyd if he met him maybe. And also like lets be real they just wanted to ignore this shit ever happened why else would they leave echo in canon lol. So the SoG find Morro and power him on and hes like ummm. Hey. its me. The green ninja. Who are you. And harumis like…??? Are you sane or what. But she sees an opportunity here. Bc this robot solely wants to fight garmadon. And shes like. Ok. well we’re gonna get garmadon here. If you help us you can fight him. This is your destiny. And hes like damn ok sure sounds good to me! (nobody is gonna tell him that the destiny already happened and theres Another Guy who is the green ninja btw). So morro joins the SoG idk what his name should be. Mr. M is fucking stupid sorry. If anyone has any ideas for morro biker name lmk. But hes there or whatever and then when lloyd goes undercover in the SoG and snake jaguar fight a la mutt malamute style. Morro and lloyd fight and morro reveals his identity to lloyd as the green ninja (he thinks hes very cool) and lloyd is like. What. lmfao. And is like. Youre  not the green ninja …? I am…? And they get into a fight abt it and morro beats up lloyd bc hes annoyed at all the lies this guy is saying to him about how his destinys already been fulfilled and wu lied and etc etc. lloyd loses the fight rip bozo. 

I am a wojira duo fan and i think that persists here except  its echo and nya instead so im gonna talk abt that. I think theyre friends. So i think nya would confide in echo about the events of skybound and so i think echo remembers what happened (in my mind skybound is like. Everyone can remember it but they have to be reminded what happened for it to be recalled? Bc splinter implies lloyd and clancee have vague impressions of it in their minds. Idk its interesting). So he remembers morro and when lloyd is like yea some fuckass robot is saying hes the green ninja  jay nya and echo all collectively just kind of look at each other about it. Like thats OUR fuckass robot saying hes the green ninja. And because i am not limited by pacing i can do whatever i want and have jaya tell the team abt skybound finally (things that shouldve happened in s8 originally lol) and theyre all like. Oh. what girl. And jay insists that if they can get to morro and tell him what happened in the lost timeline he will remember it and join them bc hes a good person at heart. (probably). So the next time they encounter him would actually be when pixal finds the SoG in ‘the quiet one’ so i think. Echo and her went together to go stall them since echo can also just fly over w the mech using powers lol. So they find killow morro uv and  echo and morro fight 1v1 . yuri btw. And echo reminds him of what happened and morros like. Hm. I do remember this. But i need to help the SoG so i can defeat garmadon and prove im the green ninja. So fuck off? But i think obv when the  SoG DO revive garmadon morro immediately tries to fight him and gets his ass kicked……I dont think he gets destroyed but i do think he gets fucked up enough (the ninja probably fix him) that he realizes lloyd wasnt lying and that he isnt supposed to be the one to fight garmadon. Like theyve all been saying. Which kind of fucks him up a bit bc like. Thats literally his sole purpose and wtf is he existing for if he cant even do that. Youve given the perfectly good robot anxiety oh no. but also i could probably talk abt this for another like 4 paragraphs i need to put an end here bc this is already like 3 pages on google docs…….Sorry you did not ask for all this. But i needed to explain the context

[iodrawsandtalks]

rhetorical.

why are nb people so casual about accepting media with racist remarks or historical erasure and then stigmatizing our reactions if we show them.

im mainly miffed rn about how we got Jade in Honkai: Star Rail rn who uses a whole ass whip and has said “slaves should be obedient to their masters”. And like where is the rage. Why is nobody mad there is a whole ass slave mistress in their big game.

Or why both honkai and genshin games continually market cultural appropriation that conveniently is no longer a problem when its black culture

i kept getting hit with the media literacy excuse like brother you need HISTORICAL literacy

Man i just want to play my games without having to put up with a monkey getting whipped, with a euphemism for a character crazy about watermelons and chickens, or even black characters having lightning/chains.

Like its not my fault im in anime circles and like that kind of content. Its not my fault that I’m born black either.

And like if we apply this to like a 10 year period there are much more examples like the little mermaid incident. I get people hate disney, their cashgrabs, and bad CGI but people were making fun of little black girls they never met because they couldnt understand why a black girl would want to see a black ariel. Why must the problem boil down to racism and why are people who have never experienced it there to dismiss it.

Or that time that final fantasy director said putting black people in the fantasy with ELVES and multi headed birds would affect historical accuracy.

Like are selfless people just rare? Can NOBODY understand societal issues they’ve never suffered? Why do people not fight racism for the sake of those who will come after us??

I’m not selfish if i get mad that some game is insensitive, i get mad on behalf of younger black people entering media spaces like me and feeling like killing themselves like i did. It never stops. And people will put their own issues above everybody else’s. I couldn’t stand using twt as a black guy bc when they find out you’re black they move you to the end of the cutting board and wait till you slip up so they have an excuse not to listen to black people. The n word isnt censored. Nazis can tell you that you should be out on the streets committing crimes like the rest of your people instead of being on twitter. Ive seen so many people look the other way when the right company inserts racism(hyv, inversely disney).

I always get told “its normal” in regards to complaints of international media perpetuating stereotypes and racism and like IT SHOULDNT BE. YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY. oh with hoyoverse honkeys its like “their game is from china and china hates black people🥺” racism is not enforced there. Racism is not enforced in any nation with a stable government. Some places enable it, but as far as I know theres no place where residents have to hit their daily slur quota. The developers are just incels. Racism makes me sick to my stomach and has my veins running hot. Ill feel ready to cut somebody or myself and you’re telling me people will downplay it and dare to say “its not a big deal”?

[torosdottir]

21, 24, 51, 57, 100 but excluding music related

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into?

ok idk if this means like an argument or a physical altercation. umm once i was in an argument with a girlfriend because she said i loved doctor 13 more than her. that was a pretty stupid fight and i think she really was upset but the problem was i couldnt in sincerity tell her she was wrong. i was literally like 'you re going to have to accept this about me'. or if it means a physical altercation then one time i was waiting so so so long (we are talking like 2-3 hours) trying to get a taxi home from town and some dude swooped in on one before me and i got so mad i hit him over the head with the only thing i had to hand which was. a rose. guy turns around like what is your FUCKING problem and i was like ok yeah fair play i probably shouldnt have done that. but he started to get mad so i doubled down i was like ok but youre being really fucking dramatic about this it was just a flower i think you'll live. it didnt really escalate past a bit of shoving tho bc he had to get in his taxi so it wasnt really a fight. um also sometimes i punch people at random in the club

24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions?

hm. i think i make an intuitive decision and then am very good at coming up with a million logical arguments to justify it so i can SAY im making a decision based on logic. but its not really true im following my heart always i think.

51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake?

it is terrifyingly common for me to be awake for 30+ or even 40+ hours but i think one time when i was a teen i was awake for 3 days. like from morning on day one til evening on day 3 so like 60hrs? i was absolutely not grounded in reality by the end of it i was so fucked up.

57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often?

there truly is not. i never lived in those places

100. What’s one of your fondest memories? (excluding music related)

ok that is so evil u know my mcr trips are literally my favourite topic of conversation :( i have so many fond memories u dont even want to hear about my late winter sunrise coach journey heading off to sydney listening to rtl u dont even want to hear for the 17th time about when i crowdsurfed to mama in new jersey :( are we even friends.....

im gonna b real with u ive been trying to think of an answer here for quite some time and i dont think i can. im sure i have fond memories that aren't music-related and i know u phrased it like that bc u really didnt want to hear for the 18th time about when i crowdsurfed to mama in new jersey but like. i have been to so many shows and there really is magic in the air there and truly so many of my fondest memories are of those moments. running into people u havent seen in years and catching up and reminiscing... putting ur arm around a friend and wailing along to your favourite songs together.... fighting ur way out of the pit when a certain song starts bc u have to make it back to ur buddy for this one... fighting ur way INTO the pit when a certain song starts and making soulmates with random people for just one night... these ARE my fondest memories!! <3 oh one time i went to see tim minchin w friend as a teen we got high before we went in and it was a beautiful show he closed on white wine in the sun and when we came outside we were still high and it was snowing heavily it was so beautiful and it felt so magical. thats one of my favourite memories i think <3

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 6989-6990

JOHN: poor rose.

JOHN: she was always too brave for her own good.

JOHN: this is exactly what happened last time.

ROXY: last time?

JOHN: um.

JOHN: it was years ago.

JOHN: when jack killed our parents.

JOHN: and we tried to fight him but we weren't strong enough to face him yet.

JOHN: so he killed her.

JOHN: but at least that time...

JOHN: i could bring her back to life.

ROXY: how

JOHN: uh...

JOHN: just, like...

JOHN: using a certain method.

JOHN: that is not an option anymore.

ROXY: ...

JOHN: that's the weird thing about this for me.

JOHN: i'm sitting here, looking at my dead friend.

JOHN: and it's really sad.

JOHN: but at the same time...

JOHN: all of this has already happened before.

JOHN: the death and tragedy and stuff.

JOHN: getting painted into the corner of yet another unwinnable situation.

JOHN: it keeps happening.

JOHN: and i don't know how to stop it!

ROXY: yeah

ROXY: me neither

JOHN: but we can't give up, right?

JOHN: i mean, we've all been in worse situations and gotten out of those, right?

ROXY: er

ROXY: have we rly

JOHN: well...

JOHN: hm.

JOHN: no, i guess we haven't.

JOHN: i guess this like, may be quite literally the worst thing that's ever happened??

JOHN: i mean, not to put too fine a point on ranking shitty things.

JOHN: but this is about as unbelievably shitty as it gets.

JOHN: i keep thinking about what i could have done to...

JOHN: or what i STILL could do if only i...

JOHN: if somehow i could learn to control this...

JOHN: or like, even better understand this...

JOHN: this stupid, zappy, retconny...

JOHN: WHATEVER IT IS.

JOHN: bluh.

ROXY: john yo

ROXY: chill

JOHN: chill?

ROXY: yes

ROXY: maybe we should try to like

ROXY: not worry about shit so much anymore

JOHN: why not?

JOHN: there are so many problems!

ROXY: i know

ROXY: i know all about the problems

ROXY: and we are both way brave and all

ROXY: im sure between us we proved that hella many times already

ROXY: but man

ROXY: i never wanted anything more than to meet my mom

ROXY: to meet rose i mean

ROXY: and to just

ROXY: be with her and talk

ROXY: and try to understand this bond i felt like we always had without ever knowin each other

ROXY: i kept getting so close

ROXY: dreamin about her...

ROXY: wakin up too soon...

ROXY: and finally

ROXY: the last time i woke up

ROXY: was just in time to see her die

ROXY: its like

ROXY: the witch was holding out just long enough for the dream to feel like a real possibility

ROXY: before taking it away

ROXY: then u take that ultrasad thing

ROXY: and pile on all the other brutal manure raining down on this epic shit charade

ROXY: and ive got to say john

ROXY: this is starting to feel an awful lot like the end

JOHN: the end?

ROXY: yeah

ROXY: whatever the end of the road feels like

ROXY: has gotta feel like this

ROXY: maybe we should just

ROXY: admit to ourselves this is probably what its like when you find yourself in a timeline where everything went wrong

ROXY: and you know it means youre doomed

ROXY: and the only thing left to do is face the fact you have to ride it out into nothingness

ROXY: stop worryin so much

ROXY: and try to let it go

JOHN: you mean, like.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: what do you mean?

ROXY: i mean

ROXY: accept that we lost

ROXY: admit that the people we wanted to be with

ROXY: the life we always wanted

ROXY: it was never gonna happen

ROXY: except maybe in the afterlife

ROXY: our friends are there

ROXY: callies there

ROXY: my mom is there

ROXY: why shouldnt we be there too

ROXY: why not just

ROXY: let the doomed timeline work its gloomy majyyks

ROXY: and slip away into nothing with the rest of this mess

JOHN: ...

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Wait why are you supporting that poll?? I thought your polls were over, am I mistaken?? Do you just wanna still be active on the account or did I miss something? /genq

Also why support that side of the argument? (Talking about the twink poll, where you agreed with the borderline rude person running the account 💀) Look up the definition of twink and twunk. There IS a word for larger people who are otherwise twinks, they’re called twunks. Don’t just lump them in with a separate label??? Use the word they already have lol

No, there cannot be ‘fat twinks’, those are twunks. Twunks are valid and we love them, please don’t erase the word :,) </3

hi!!!! ive been working on and just started round one for a second showdown in this account. that has been a thing! sorry you missed it i guess????

you said /genq but it came off as pretty agressive tbh so im not sure how to feel about that????

to adress the twink poll

1. The rules stated both twinks and twunks were allowed! your point that a twunk isnt a twink means nothing here :)

2. a lot of ppl dont think fat men can be hunks either, cause hunks are "strong not fat". so by your logic a twunk would NOT include fat people, actually! then you could say "oh there's the term otter" but thats for hairy men. now u have the fat hairless gay mlm who id w the label of twink but arent accepted under that, or under anything else apparently

3. if you were following the poll before it started, there was a conversation about fatphobia in he gay community, where op even said they would extend the poll to include otters, until one anon said that he, as a fat gay man, was happy to see people being so accepting of "fat twinks", so op decided to accept fat twinks.

4. out of all the characteristics that make someone a twink, why is being skinny so important? there isnt a fat equivalent (see point 2) so whats wrong w fat gay men who fit all the other criteria also wanting to use the label? why does that bother you?

5. the poll runner of @twinkpoll responding to rude people w rudeness does not make them rude. None of these ppl cared to speak up when the nominations were up. everyone actively involved at the time was aware and supportive of op's decision to include fat twinks. thats why guillermo got in. People nominated him a lot.

6. again, a twunk is Not a fat twink. The term for a fat twink does not exist. But even if you were right, it wouldnt mean anything because the rules always included twunks too. literally from when the nominations went live it included twunks and nobody cared until the fat guy got in

7. im fat!!!! i might not be a twink but i have other issues of certain labels leaving me out because of my weight!! thats plain fatphobia and ppl just want to believe it isnt because coming up 2 excuses makes them feel better!! if one fat person is happy w more ppl accepting fat mlm as twinks (like the anon in twink poll) i will be here to support them.

8. Why tf are u messaging me about this if ur not even aware enough of my blog to know i was running another poll? where did you come from?? if you're just here to accuse me of "supporting the wrong side" in a stupid fight that shouldnt be happening, see yourself out.

also dont be a coward if u wanna start shit w someone get off anon, if i get another anon message about this its going straight to the trash

[v-arbellanaris]

Re: rarepair Hell. I would like to know how many pits we mutually occupy, so. Could I get a list of like, idk, your top ten (based in enjoyment level) rarepairs? And/or headcanons but I would prefer "and".

okay i'll assume you mean dragon age specifically MFDSKJFSDKJF but okay, i'll list some!!!!

the obvious ones:

fenders (fenris x anders) : i love a good narrative foil

zevistair (zevran x alistair) : idk if this counts as a rarepair but!!! their canon flirting banters always make me go sooo insane. that you can include zevran in the foursome w alistair if alistair is hardened (lol) makes me INSANE. they are basically canon aND YET!!!!!!

warden x loghain : ive written so much abt them already. you get the idea

nanders (nathaniel x anders)

the less obvious ones:

anders/merrill (bonus: anders/merrill/isabela): for all the same reasons i ship fenders (which i would argue is still relatively a popular pair, so not quite rarepair??); they're such good mirrors, they're both encapsulate what the other fears. anders being 100% okay to hurt people despite being a healer vs merrill being a blood mage who has never wanted to hurt anyone is just *chef kiss*. you can take a look at this for more compelling reasons to ship them.

fenris/merrill: for all the same reasons as above. i think if u dont ship each individual LI of the kirkwall polycule w each other, u shouldnt say u ship the kirkwall polycule.

solavelyan / soladaar / soladash / solas x non-lavellan inqs: i still think it should've been a romance option for all inqs tho i suppose they didn't really have the time to develop a non-lavellan route for them, but i love thinking about it, and i love the vibes for it so much. again, i love narrative foils, and i think it's so natural to be drawn to someone who could understand you like that.

alistair x bethany: a not-templar and a not-circle mage, in the wardens together. i think they'd really like each other and have a very interesting kind of energy!!! they've both got these secret bitter/spiteful sides to them, there's a lot of parallels (like alistair thinking warden conscription is a good thing bc it was for him and bethany having v different emotions abt being a warden in general). i've also really enjoyed most of the fics i've read for them.

nathaniel x f!cousland: UNFORTUNATELY THOUGH i dont think i've been able to find the kind of fic i want for them in the tag. i've got too many wips as it is, but maybe one day i'll write the nathaniel/f!cousland fic of my dreams...

nathaniel x anora: this one is admittedly @rosella-writes' fault, but they've got me by the THROAT as a concept

m!hawke/cullen: LIKE ESPECIALLY IF IT'S ONE-SIDED FOR CULLEN it's something that can be SO fascinating to explore (esp in an amell worldstate). [shaking cullen] babygirl what is WRONG with you!!!!!!!

m!hawke/sebastian: sebastian grappling with his admiration for hawke vs his chantry vows but THIS TIME make it mlm..... i think this is probably baby vee coming through w how hard i used to ship d/estiel in the early 00's LMAO. fsr they hit the same beats in my skull.

morrigan/leliana: noooo girlies don't fight haha <3 they should dump the warden and kiss instead <3

josephine/the iron bull: i read a few fics for them that admittedly captured my interest. i think their dynamic is something that could really be interesting to delve into for so many reasons. i've read the evidence and i find it compelling enough to put on this list

[spicebowl]

i am just one humble manthing who grooms dogs. when the world collapses, i will still be a humble manthing that grooms dogs. what can i realistically do right now? direct action yes, boycotting yes, protesting yes, but in the grand scheme of things im just crying and mourning like everyone else. As a child many of the important people who helped raise me were chaldeans, first or second generation, from palestine. for them, i grieve, as i know theyve lost family yet again in this genocide, displaced in the country that funds it. but grief doesnt feed anyone, doesnt help stop the bombs or block off the trade routes for weapons. in doesnt garner more than a pat on the back before they return to dehumanizing and murdering a defenseless people.

and I think of Marjane Satrapis quote, "The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same."

I hope one day the west will learn its place, thrown to the wolves, fractured and restricted. I hope the global south makes their move. I hope americas hubris catches up with it. Should a world war start, i would pray for my countrys downfall, in that a global threat of violence, destruction, and subjugation might finally be eliminated. And i will have no grief for my country when it shatters.

A country built of the corpses of an entire continent of peoples can only stand so long. A country built by religious extremists exiled from their own countries to a continent in which they murdered everyone shouldnt be around. No country is without sins and no nation established without blood, but the US's level of depravity has long outperformed many other western nations.

I suppose ignorance and comfort are the only ways to ensure its public doesnt turn on the government.

I guess this is the same hopelessness that tires many other people, i dont have a real point here. I dont want to feel hopeless, and ive only been paying attention for the last 5 years really. this fight has come before me and will continue after me. humanity is an idea we must spread, apparantly, as modern humans forget how to and chafe at caring or helping one another.

Understand that without eachother, we are alone. We become powerless as individuals. We get walked over and ignored and used. When we put the effort into eachother, its returned and love, respect, admiration, and decency are allowed to shine through if we can only look at eachothers personhood.

A person in palestine lived and worked and went to school, scraped their knees and got them kissed to make it better, helped their children learn their harder lessons, rode bikes, had secrets and romances, had queer experiences and hid them from families with the same anxiety many queer people always feel. They loved and laughed and danced and when the bombs fell, it was on fathers and brothers, mothers and daughters, real people with rich lives cut short. Sonder is a powerful feeling that once felt can recontextualize everything.

We have to care because they are people like we are people, struggling and wanting, laughing and raging, saving the best cuts of meat for the ones they love, with their own inside jokes in friend groups and mistakes with lovers and any other aspect of humanity you yourself experience. I dont think we could ever convince those in power of the importance of their humanity and how damning it is to our own when we harm eachother like this.

Can't we care? Aren't we allowed to recognize eachother? Who are we if we let them be slaughtered so brutally, so disgustingly and ruthlessly? Less than humans and more akin to beasts hellbent on destruction.