#i left the mistake in on purpose btw

[dawnbirdwhistle]

Dr. Ratio illustration (Honkai Star Rail)

The quote is actually song lyrics from One by Sleeping At Last ^^

As Ratio wishes to be recognized by Nous, I felt it was fitting. And the other line may be a reference for someone else 👀 perhaps...

[maydays-medbay]

Teaser for something I have planned, feel free to speculate!

TW: Gore mentions, graphic depictions of violence (kinda? better safe than sorry), horror scenarios, PTSD/Anxiety Attack/Flashbacks

I hope that covers everything lol

|| A figure stood in the doorway, outlined in the flickering light of the hall. His frame rattled, the traitorous kibble betraying the fear humming underneath his armor. The silhouette entered the room, just a step, though it felt like hundreds too many. It needed to leave. Go somewhere far, far away from him.

It spoke with indecipherable glyphs: broken, choppy, fragmented bits of speech that sounded nothing like words. It was hard to tell whether or not the noise he heard was from the silhouette in front of him or his own racing spark. They were blending together into a cacophonic mix of sound that pulsed harshly behind his optics, nearly causing a noise to rip from his throat.

His servo fumbled along the ground, reaching for something that he could grab- anything he could use to defend himself. Cold metal touched the tips of his digits and he grabbed it as fast as he could, never taking his sight from the figure stalking closer. Watching the shadowy outline move made his head spin.

Through his swimming vision, he saw the figure take another step…

[The room was dark, sinking in an abyssal muck that couldn’t be wiped away. Claws grappled him, pulling him in and trapping him there. He kicked and fought, but those hooked digits held tight and those glyphs fluttered by his audial while pins shot into his exposed cording]

and another…

[He screamed, screamed until his throat was raw. Why won’t anyone help? Why is he being ignored? Why did they leave him here with this monster...]

and another…

[He clawed at his throat, ripping at the loose cabling until he couldn’t feel his digits coated in his own gore. They left him there alone, they ignored his crying and now they’ll ignore it again, as they always would.]

Until his arm lashed out on instinct, straight upwards into those spotlights beaming down at him.

Then, in a flash of purple, silver and pink, his spark froze. ||

[nicolos]

sometimes i feel so isolated. your friends aren't your therapists. stop oversharing on the internet. don't trauma dump. all of this is true im doing my best not to but at some point that just means not being able to talk about my life. i'm not looking for pity or sympathy or help or anything like that, i just want to be able to talk about myself with the confidence that i'm not discomfiting people or scaring them away

[invinciblerodent]

btw yes, I'm also still stuck thinking about how in the cutscene at the start of the attack of Astarion's siblings, Astarion himself is standing right next to your bed.

Every time that scene is mentioned or brought up on my dash, I just keep thinking about how the bed the PC is shown using in the long rests (which seems to me like the top left one as you enter that side-room), and the one in which he's presumably been resting, are basically on the very opposite ends of the room.

like... sure, it already has me scratching at the walls to think about how, when unromanced, he probably felt something was wrong and went immediately to wake you and let you know (trust!!! friendship!!!), but it has me extra feral to think that he had abandoned the bed he had originally claimed in favor of yours, and was sprung from his lover's embrace by the arrival of his siblings. (Because you can't talk about cuddling, and cuddliness, and call yourself "cuddly Astarion" in the same scene, without actually cuddling sometimes lol.)

I kind of like to imagine that even on top of it being self-defense, springing to his feet so fast, there could also be something instinctively protective in the fact that he so quickly puts his own body between you and danger.

I mean,

right before the camera would focus on him, he's bent forward, snarling at them to get away, coiled to strike even unarmed (well. as unarmed as a vampire can be), and only relaxes into the conversation-pose when you stir, and Aurelia speaks.

And like, that doesn't feel like a conscious action, or even much of a purposeful decision from a mechanic standpoint (most likely the devs needed him to stand there-ish for there to be enough room for the PC to get up, and stand next to him for the conversation's camera angles to make sense), but I do like to imagine that at this point in the relationship, he just... acts without thinking, and puts himself into the more dangerous position on instinct. It lines up very nicely with that sweet, rather earnest line he says in the Wyrm's Lookout scene. (PC: "All that matters to me is that you're safe." Astarion: "I know you do. It matters to me, as well. I want to be able to protect you, too.")

... The rest of his "this is for us, this is to protect you, we're a team" lines are of course calculated, manipulative bullshit, and taking them at face value would be a mistake even if there is a kernel of truth at their core, but I think that one is genuine, and it's corroborated by this unthinking jump to your defense.

[channelinglament]

Sksjdjjkskskskskksk

I know I should be focusing more on reqs, but I had to take this off my mind skskksskks (btw I'm rn in the underground belobog part of story) (I kinda called it SAHSR as in self aware hsr)

☆•°Self-Aware Honkai Star Rail°•☆

Tw: no proofread, mentioned drowning(but it didn't happen), war, hate, religious themes, self awareness, kinda ooc, grammar mistakes because I am typing this at 12AM instead of sleeping, isolation

So, you know how in the beginning we play as Kafka? Yeah, I'm pretty sure she felt your presence. At first she was kinda weirded out, and was on guard. Who knows what you would do to her, while controlling her?

Oh look, you're helping her.. Hmm, maybe you aren't that bad after all. Still on guard, but thankful. With you she seems to fight more faster and is more efficient.

Same goes with Silver Wolf. They don't seem to mind your presence that much.

You even helped them to pick a trailblazer! But after picking them, you left Kafka and Silver Wolf. They didn't really mind it. They have been doing good without you, so it should be fine!

Meanwhile, the trailblazer is confused. First, they don't remember anything except their own name(or the name you gave them), then Kafka leaves and someone is watching over them. Oh how confusing and strange. But they caught early on that you're helping them. You're not an enemy.

During their "adventures" trailblazer starts thinking of you as a family. Kinda annoying since you control their body most the time (unless it's a cutscene) but you're cool nonetheless. They see you as a safespace.

Meanwhile March 7th and Dan Heng don't understand what is happening. Who is controlling them? Why after they met trailblazer? Why are you controlling them?

I think March would, just like the trailblazer, like you and find you annoying at the same time. Dan Heng would stay on guard (but also see you as safe space/nice person to hang with). Not as much on guard as when you first...met but still. It'll take him time to get off guard. The more time you spend with them, the more familiar they are with you, the more they like you.

Why annoyed, you may ask? Well, imagine you want to.. for example fight, but someone controls your movement and does it instead of you. Or goes the other way (aka exploring) instead of the path you've originally chosen.

They certainly would like when you make them stronger. No matter who is on your team, they'll like it (I mean, who wouldn't?)

But.. sometimes, even if they like you, they get tired of always being on the team. Thank you, yes, but they need to rest too. They mostly rest when you're offline, since..time kinda stops there. But when you're online? damnnn they walk and fight so much.. (I fr walk everywhere to find enemies to fight, so uhh, if you're like me, they would be tired and maybe annoyed at it)

I think some characters would even hate you. It doesn't apply to the main trio btw, they'll always like you. The reason some may hate you is that they have so much stuff to do, yet you choose them to walk around and fight all day. They're even supposed to be here! (For example, using Herta when fighting someone in Belobog)

If they could, they would scold you. But sadly game doesn't allow that.

It only appears in normal, self aware circumstances. Aka a normal self aware. Some like you, some hate you. You just kinda exist. (That one strange friend/sibling, y'know?)

But what if they would see you as a God? Something divine? Like in SAGAU?

Well, you're doomed, what can I say?

Everyone would want to be in your team. Oh, poor Gacha system.

They would hate it tbh. While in just self aware some would avoid you on purpose (aka busy characters), here? Where everyone sees you as a divine being? Oh dear..

Imagine several people trying to come through a single door, all at the same time? Yeahhh that's what happens. The standard and limited banner would literally fist fight while trying to get "home" to you. So don't be surprised if nobody comes home, at all.

But some may cooperate, and you may get more 5☆ or 4☆! Basically characters you wanted.

Those on your team would be proud! Mostly if the main trio are still there. Some would be envious of trailblazer. You're always with them, even if they're not on your team.(how could you?!)

Kafka and Silverwofl would be devastated. I'm pretty sure Silverwolf could possibly destroy the gacha system and come home. Only her (and maybe Kafka)

People in Belobog would hate the lore and everything game makes them do what they do. They're so happy they met you! You're here to save them! They don't want to fight you, so please don't be mad at them.

Honestly, if you were to get isekai'ed into hsr, I would recommend to the normal au.

The ones who hate you would just tell you off and never interact again, while your family/friends would hang out with you. Plus you could help a lot in Astral Express!

Maybe get Himeko and Mr.Yang some tea? Or help Pom Pom with whatever he needs?

If you get into the Worshipping Lunatics au..? I feel sorry for you.. You would never rest-

Whether you choose to stay at Astrak Express, or Herta's *I forgot the name* or whatever, they are all ready to wage war against each other. And if you decided to stay somewhere, that means you clearly favor them and their place more! Those who were chosen are happy/smug. While other try to improve their place/copy the place you've chosen to make you reconsider and stay with them.

The amount of gifts.. try to not drown okay?

They might even all agree to keep you in one place. Lock you in there and hope you won't be mad at them.

That's all for now

(Gotta work on reqs now or in the morning, they're still open btw)

[code-es]

The women who laid the foundation of tech

EDIT: I noticed that this post ended up being reblogged by terfs. If you're transphobic this post is not for you to reblog. I want to celebrate everyone who is not a cis man in this industry, including trans women and nonbinary people in tech, and it was my mistake to only include cis women in this post when there are so many trans women and nonbinary people who have done great things in tech as well. Trans women are women and just as important.

Here you can read about trans ppl in tech, and please do:

https://www.thecodingspace.com/blog/2022-03-01-six-trans-programmers-who-shattered-the-lavender-ceiling/

https://abcnews.go.com/Business/transgender-tech-visibility-obstacles-remain/story?id=76374628

The morning of women's day i attended a super inspiring seminar about being a woman in tech at a large tech company in my city, and now I'm inspired to share what I learned with all of you!

I didn't have time to finish this post on women's day, but it's not too late to post now: every day is a day to celebrate women!

Women actually laid the foundation for a lot of the tech industry.

For example, the first computer, ENIAC, was programmed completely by women! While men were the behind the scenes engineers, it was women who did all the actual programming of ENIAC.

The women who made up the team responsible for programming it were called Jean Bartik, Kay McNulty, Betty Holberton, Marlyn Wescoff, Frances V. Spence and Ruth Teitelbaum.

I think one woman who is finally getting her overdue recognition is Ada Lovelace. She was a mathematician (also often referred to as the first programmer) who created the first algorithm in 1842, which wasn't recognized until 1953! However, since none of her machines were ever completed it was never tested in practice during her time.

She has since been celebrated by giants such as google, and she has given name to a programming language (Ada). She was also the first person to write about what is today known as AI. Back when she was practicing, computers were simply thought of as calculators. But she had an idea that if computers can understand numbers, then that can be translated to letters, and in turn that can lead to computers being able to handle words, and eventually even write, draw and create music.

Hedy Lamarr was a famous Hollywood actress in the 40's, but she was also an inventor who laid ground for what we use today for Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and GPS services.

During WW2 she wanted to contribute positviely to the military efforts against the Nazis, and she tried to figure out how to radio control torpedoes. In 1942 she patented her technology "Secret Communications System", also known as frequency hopping, which laid the foundation for the technology we use today for Wi-Fi, GPS and Bluetooth. It wasn't until 1962 that it was first used for its intended purpose, during the cuban missile crisis.

Grace Hopper invented the first compiler, called A-0, in 1955, and was also part of the Univac team, which was the company also responsible for building ENIAC. She also initiated work on the COBOL programming language.

She was also the one to coin the term "bug" in 1947. Computers back then had lights to visualize their working process (which was also a womans idea to implement btw) and bugs would be attracted to the lights, but usually that was no issue - until a bug made its way into a tube which caused the computer to stop working. Hopper taped the bug to a piece of paper and logged what caused the crash - a bug.

Dorothy Vaughan (left), alongside colleagues such as Katherine Johnson (middle) and Mary Jackson (right), was a mathematician at NASA (called NACA when she started) who worked on the orbit for the first ever manned spaceflight and later also on Apollo 11 that would take humanity to the moon!

When Vaughan started at what was then called NACA, segregation was still prevalent in the US and she was not allowed in the same areas in the office as her white colleagues. Another department was formed for the black staff, and when the director of said department unexpectedly died, she was appointed as the new director and thus became the first ever black woman at that position at NACA/NASA. In 1958 when NACA becomes NASA segregation is forbidden, and that is when Vaughan and her colleagues Johnson and Jackson started working on programming the orbit and later also Apollo 11.

Continuing on the same track of NASA and space, Margaret Hamilton was the Apollo project's first actual programmer. Hamilton became the director of software engineering at NASA in 1965, and she was also the person to first coin the term !

In the image above, she stands next to all the handwritten code that was used to send humanity to the moon. During the early stages of the project when she would speak of "sofware engineering", software development was not taken as seriously as other forms of engineering, and it wasn't regarded as a science, either. She wanted to legitimize software development as an engineering discipline, and overtime the term "software engineering" gained the same respect as any other technical discipline.

And lastly, if you're a woman in STEM, I want to highlight and celebrate you! Being a woman in a male dominated industry is not easy, we often suffer from sterotype threat and are not seen as our own individuals, but rather "the woman" in a room full of men. But just as these women, I'm sure you will achieve greatness!!

Here are some additional resources if you'd like to learn more:

https://www.history.com/news/coding-used-to-be-a-womans-job-so-it-was-paid-less-and-undervalued

https://digitalfuturesociety.com/programming-when-did-womens-work-become-a-mans-world/

And this was mainly my source for this post, but it's unfortunately only available in Swedish:

Thank you for reading ✨

[ornii]

Hai hello hai

Ok so remember how you said enid goes into heat cuz shes a werewolf and all... so enid and reader hook up alot, and wedsnday find out and gets jealous

Male reader x wenclair

ThxThx. btw Love your writing so much

“Our” Boyfriend

Wenclair X Male Reader.

Summary: Who Knew Wednesday Addams was a Commie?

Wednesday Addams obviously isn’t a commie it’s a joke I don’t want to be canceled right when I start using tumblr over an obvious Joke

When it came to Enid and Wednesday, you couldn’t find more polar opposites who seem to get along just fine. While you never particularly adored Wednesday you were on good terms, however Enid was a different situation. With Enids primal libido and drive, hooking up was a constant that happens at least twice a day. There’s a decently sized list of how often and where.

Sometimes when walking to your biology class, you can spot Enid heading into a small janitors closet. Confused you peer in and she turns and grabs you by your tie, yanking you in for skipping class and a “Quickie.” Which was more than an hour, it’s a surprise nobody heard the walls banging.

Other times she gets even more reckless, along the balcony walkway over the quad, all seems well until she “Leans” over the the railing, purposely wearing a much shorter skirt than usual, almost teasing you to take her, obviously who wouldn’t and your palms gladly grip her waist and plunging in.

Enid would even go so far to bring you in her dorm as Wednesday slept near by, you had to be as quiet as possible but that wasn’t particularly easy. The way Enid rocked her hips into yours, her panted breath, wolf like whining when you hit just the right spot. You had to let her bite your arms sometimes just to keep her from howling in pleasure. The soft bed creaks were just enough for Wednesday to awaken, she didn’t move an inch though and just, listened. That one mistake lead you to the situation you’re in now.

One afternoon, Enid was preparing for a night out. Wednesday was preoccupied on her typewriter.

“You’re leaving?” Wednesday asks.

“Yeah, Yoko throwing a small Party. It’d gonna be like totes cute!” Enid says putting on lipstick. And Wednesday stops and turns to her.

“That’s odd, Yoko informed me of no such party.” Wednesday said and Enid stops, slowly growing fearful.

“O-oh, well yeah i-its a bit private.”

“Is it? Or are you going to meet (Y/n)?” Wednesday says which Enid slowly turns to her, trying to be cutely oblivious.

“What? No, it’s not like that we’re just friends—“

“Friends who fornicate Like hounds in heat, and in the same room next to me.” Wednesday says and stands up, and Enid slowly begins to realize she knew. Enid is slowly backed to a corner.

“We-We wouldn’t do that!”

“Hm, would you? Shall I read an excerpt from your diary?” Wednesday asks and Enids eyes go wide. “June 14th, (Y/n) didn’t want to go to the dorm but I couldn’t wait, so we did it in my bed next to Wednesday, I really didn’t want to wake her but it felt so good that I almost made a—“

“Okay! Okay! You made your point.” Enid says sadly. “I’m going to meet him and well, he knows a few open empty dorm rooms.” Enid said.

“Interesting.” Wednesday says, “a word of advice Enid, if you’re you’re going to break the rules, don’t Leave a trail of evidence.” She says.

“Noted, so, what do you want?” Enid asks.

“Him.” She responds, much to Enids confusion.

“Excuse me?” She says, “You aren’t his girlfriend, meaning he can be in any relationship he wishes, and I wish to partake in it, or would you rather me inform Thornhill?” She says, and Enid pouts.

Later that night (Y/n) Lays on his bed, with Enid around his left arm.

“So, Wednesday basically blackmailed you into sharing me as your hook up buddy?” You ask, Enid nods sadly, “I’ll admit it’s weird sharing you, but I’m kinda okay with it.” Enid says, you turn right, to Wednesday who was also lying with you.

“Wow Wednesday, didnt know you were a commie, “Our Boyfriend.” Heh.” You say smiling and Wednesday rests her head upon yours and speaks.

“Da, chert voz'mi”

[2smolbeans]

Another ramble I wanna talk about while I finish and write some requests.. Btw this is unedited of course!

But where are my female yandere CEOs x female readers???

Like I remember writing a story where the main character is just some poor girl who just graduated college, trying to figure out her shit while trying to come to terms with why most of her relationships with her boyfriends never work out.. Where the reader/character is tired of feeling like a failure, so burnt out and near the brink of edge - only to stumble upon a bar where she meets a heartbroken and clearly in shambles woman.

Where the two have a heart to heart, talking to each other about their problems and insecurities. Eventually having a 'fuck it' moment as the two of them got black out drunk together.

That moment where they wake up, realising the events prior to last night, freaking out when she realises that she's naked underneath the sheets with the woman from last night. Scrambling to get out as they have no idea what to do.

Quickly writing a letter to the woman, trying to write an apology as the reader realises that she was gonna be late for work. Only to stupidly forget last minute that she didn't even give the poor girl her number and just dipped out!

The moment where the main character contemplates on her life, where she comes to terms with her sexuality realising; Oh shit, I like women..Guess that makes a lot of sense now.

How, within a year, she would meet the woman again. How the yandere would immediately recognize her, scolding her while also laughing at her pathetic note that didn't even give her their contact at all!

"I really thought you just left me alone on purpose you know..That was until you left me that note. You were so sweet..Yet so rude!"

"Do you know how long I've been looking for you?!"

After that moment, the two of them met again. How ever since then, they were always in contact with each other. Chatting over the phone and going out on small hangout dates. Every day, she made sure to always check up on her.

Eventually, the main character would mention to her how much she hated her retail job. How it paid so little and demanded so much from her. So she offered a job position as a secretary to them. Promising that them would 100% get the job no matter how badly they did at the interview.

Finally, when getting the job, she would realize that the woman was the CEO of the company she now worked at as the secretary the whole time.

That moment when she told her friend, the CEO of their company, that she were thankful for her. That thanks to her, she was able to stand on her two feet.

How she was finally willing to give love another shot when she realised what and who you were attracted to.

How she didn't catch the scowl on the CEO'S face when she sweetly spoke to her.

"I give you everything..And you won't let me give you this one thing? Why not go out with me? I can give you more than enough than what a typical 'girlfriend' could ever."

"I'll spoil you to no end. Throw money at you! And you won't have to do a thing besides look pretty for me while I take care of you.."

How, since that moment, she was subtle with her advances towards the main character. Her hands lingered at a certain spot whenever the two of them were alone. Her eyes always wandering off, drinking in their body as she adored how cute they looked in uniform.

Of course they made a few stupid mistakes here and there. Going to anyone but her!

It was funny how most of their current ex girlfriends were either drug addicts, cheaters, or previous abusers..Wow doesn't she have terrible taste in women?

Don't worry though, she'll always be there, waiting for them to make the right decision. She'll welcome them with open arms when they realise how much they need her, how good they'll have it when they give into her.

.....

But yeah!

I just wish there were more Female Yandere CEO stories 😭😭

I've seen enough of the yandere male CEOs smh..

And just to make a note, this concept was based on an old yandere CEO story I made with two ocs--

.

.

_____________________________

[yurislotusgarden]

sigma and ranpo w 19? congrats on 100 followers btw !! :D

ʚїɞ Separately! Sigma, Ranpo Edogawa x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ The event

ʚїɞ word count: 754 (Sigma - 429, Ranpo - 325)

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names are used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ʚїɞ Thank you anon <3

It’s a calming feeling for him. Sigma can't help but love the feeling and take in the feeling of your arms around his waist and your head on his back or the back of his neck.

And you know it. That's the reason behind your actions at the moment.

You could tell he was stressed. There has been problem after problem, paperwork after paperwork, and all the new guests that Sigma insists he has to remember stuff about like he does with the other customers.

You decided to help using small gestures. A cup of freshly brewed tea, baking his favorite cookies, some coffee midday, telling him it’s time to sleep, sometimes even dragging him out of the office once the hour gets too late and he thinks he should still stay.

Affection always worked well against the man, you are well aware of that fact, so you decided to use that against him to your advantage.

Sigma was sitting at his desk, the setting sun behind him gave him a serene orange light. You thought it fit him when you saw him in that scene.

You entered his office with the plate in your hands, the door making barely any kind of noise to indicate your arrival, but the bi-colored-haired man, like always, noticed you with no problem.

“Hi, [Name]. What brings you here?”

The smile that appeared upon noticing you, brought a smile to your face. You placed the plate on the edge of the desk.

“Nothing much, cotton. Just wanted to bring you some food.”

“Thank you, Angel”

The slight blush from saying the petname was visible on his cheeks. You love the fact that he still blushes, even if not much, simply because of a petname.

You walked behind him, and he was sure that you were going to look out the window like you tend to do, but he instead felt arms wrap around his waist. He had to get up from his chair as you -now realizing on purpose- left the plate too far to reach if he was to be sitting down.

Sneaky.

As much as he wanted to tell you to let go, as he has work to do, he couldn’t. The feeling of the arms around his waist and the head against his back was, unfortunately for him, relaxing, causing him to lean back slightly, his shoulders letting loose.

A moment of silence passed.

“I-”

“Please, don’t say even a word.”

He doesn’t need to hear that you were right when saying he’s really stressed. He knows you were.

“Please!”

“No.”

“Pretty please! With a cherry on top, sugar! With a cherry on top!”

“No is a no, Ranpo.”

“But why?”

“It’s the middle of the night!”

“And?”

A sigh could be heard throughout the room, a tired one. Ranpo came back much later than usual, Fukuzawa wanted him for something, resulting in him coming back when you were already ready for bed, and to have your very much-deserved sleep.

To your tired self demise (courtesy of your mission that day), Ranpo decided it would be an amazing idea, to literally latch himself onto your back (you’re unsure of how you are capable of carrying him in your current state), before proceeding to keep asking to go to his favorite bakery for the next 10 minutes. The problem? It’s literally 1 in the morning, and said bakery was long closed. Even worse, it’s Sunday, therefore it’s gonna be closed today as well.

You spoke up after a minute of silence.

“Alright, how about this-” you could feel the manchild moving his head at you speaking up “-you will let me sleep.” a huff could be heard behind you. “And I will bake your favorite twice this week in exchange.” it was a good deal. You could say so upon feeling the weight being mostly gone from your back. Ranpo let his legs fall back down, standing behind you, his arms didn’t change much in terms of place, your waist.

A chin was placed on your right shoulder.

“Promise?”

The cheeky grin could be damn heard, you sighed.

“Yes, I promise.”

You indeed ended up baking his favorite twice, one of the 2 times already in that day’s evening.

You knew he knew that this is how it’s gonna end up. You didn’t mind much tho. For sure not when the feeling of his arms around your waist while baking and slapping his hands away from the not yet ready food was a nice feeling.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated &lt;3

Do not copy or translate my works on/to any site

[bestworstcase]

brief preliminary list of things i am going to be unhinged about for the indefinite future:

MYSTERY KINDRED LINK. WHO. WHO?!

"and when it turns out to be just another run-of-the-mill patrol..." HBHKSDFHG god. the fact that mysterious important top secret missions regularly turned out to be non-issues... salem was IGNORING HIM LMAO

implied time-skip but i think not a very long one; we have amity plonked onto a carrier ship and what's left of the atlesian air fleet, plus a handful of ships from other kingdoms, but no grimm. salem isn't here yet. tyrian and mercury probably are. loose estimate, probably a couple weeks? qrow et al being in solitas still at the end of v8 makes the quick turnaround logistically plausible

salem routed the fleet lmfao

"one brother [light] believed they had disrupted the balance, while the other [dark] refused to condemn their creations for their mistakes" hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

in the ever after's terms, dark's purpose is destruction for the sake of new life—i was dead to rights on him being a god of cyclical change—and the conflict with his brother began with dark defending the lives of their creations. light decided that they [the brothers] made a mistake and wanted to "fix" that mistake by getting rid of it, dark said no.

dark is unambiguously the good guy here.

the annihilation of humanity was essentially dark recanting his original stance and accepting his brother's position that their creations are "mistakes" that must be eradicated

except he didn't (or couldn't) eradicate salem, humanity rose again, and light is still on the "eradicate the mistake" train with dark nowhere to be found. either 1. dark completed his ascension by coming to understand his brother's perspective and became something new [the relics?], or 2. dark regretted this after the fact and directly had a hand in bringing humanity back, or 3. if he left salem alive on purpose the whole thing was a gambit to repeat the ever after's solution to their conflict, leaving remnant behind because remnant could not bear their experiments any longer.

dark + humanity vs light endgame real

unless dark ascended and light did not, in which case the ultimatum is probably coming from a place of grief—light doing the very thing he condemned salem for.

the immediate narrative rebuke for turning their backs on the cat:

in juxtaposition with ruby's overt sympathy and concern for neo, and the blacksmith's sympathy for both neo and the cat, and the implication that the cat can now ascend [note the hawker's statue too—neo's jabbers couldn't permadeath people]... juicy

raven and summer stayed in touch. raven was summer's confidante; she doesn't just know what happened to summer, she knew well in advance what summer had planned and was herself integral to that plan. and in the ten+ years since this night she hasn't said a word about it to anyone.

raven trusted her

raven was probably closer to summer than to her own brother

whatever raven learned, whatever horrors she brought back, she told summer. and summer believed her. and they kept it to themselves, and made this plan.

"if i do this right, there's nothing to worry about. trust me." you sound just like your mother (derogatory). oh raven absolutely got a team salem recruitment pitch from summer after this.

and she's keeping that secret too

this is how they're looping raven back into the story btw

ruby knows that raven knows but she doesn't know exactly what raven knows so she's going to need to find raven to ask

raven: summer is a better mom than i could ever be

also raven: [continually dragged kicking and screaming back into the story by inescapable motherhood]

"you're really leaving them?" "you're one to talk" oh that's JUICY

even taking into account raven's heels, summer is fucking tiny

[rayshippouuchiha]

Great! You watched it so that means I don’t have to hold back! Mwahahaha you activated my hidden trapcard 😈

Jk jk but anyway LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR RIGHT??

Like, first they HAD to reinvent the whole Bible Genesis story to make him as freaking sympathetic as possible. I mean, a little dreamer whose ideas were dismissed? Who falls in love with a woman because he admired her “fierce independence”, then freaking gifts humanity in general and Eve in particular with FREE WILL? (I have so many headcanons about them btw; Adam being the way he is I think he and Lilith wanted Eve to have the chance to make decisions regarding her own body, relationship, and future that a life under Adam’s thumb as heaven had inteded would’ve denied her. I think they were very good friends once upon a time., and it kills me that we never see Eve again. Did she blame them for being kicked out of Eden? Or was she grateful to them? I’d love to know, I hope we see her next time). That’s all so freaking good already as a backstory, but then they add this:

At this moment my mind just, imploded with the implications. He gifted humanity with free will presumably because, as a joyous dreamer, he had firmly believed that they would create wonderful things and bring about a better world if they were allowed to think for themselves, but gradually over hundreds and thousands of years seeing only the absolute worst that humanity had to offer he seems to think that it was a mistake, and that’s so sad 🥺 He never got to see the good that came from his actions and became depressed as a consequence, probably blaming himself a bit for every ill-action and sin committed.

I was already primed to love him after that backstory right? But then they imply that he’s a neglectful, distant father to Charlie and she is such a good, pure girl that I started thinking maybe I was wrong to start liking him, maybe there was something off about him that the intro had left out since it was Charlie telling her parent’s story. But then we meet him and he’s just:

A cute, awkward little man? One who clearly loves his family to death if the ring still on his finger (after SEVEN FREAKING YEARS OF ABSCENCE, dear god) and the multiple, gigantic family portraits strewn about his room say anything?

Also, he seems like 2 steps away from an anxiety attack at any given time, especially when asked to speak over the phone. He just like me fr fr

And that, along with the fact that he says “this is the first time she’s called you in YEARS”, and that he seems so freaking happy and excited at even the insinuation that she wants to spend time with him,

Leads me to believe that his absence from Charlie’s life was caused by a mutual misunderstanding born of a similar thought process (namely “what if I’m bothering them? What if they think I’m annoying by calling when I don’t need anything? I should wait until I have a good reason to call, or until they call me”) or willfully by someone (Lilith does seem to take Charlie away from her father awfully quick during that one flashback, right? It’s not just me?). I mean, ^that’s not the face of a father who wants to stay away from his daughter because she reminds him of her mom, or even the face of a father who stayed away on purpose for some time and is now willing to reconnect. That looks more to me like the face of someone who has been eagerly awaiting even a single hint that he’s wanted before daring to appear before his daughter, and has now finally been given that chance after a long time and is ECSTATIC. And even then, it seems that even through his self-deprecation and depression he does do his best to reach out, at least more frequently than Charlie does (he called her 5 months ago, she hadn’t called in years, etc etc).

And then he gets to the hotel and he’s so small and cute and awkward and good with animals and I thought I couldn’t love him any more than I already did but I COULD. HOW DID THEY MAKE A CHARACTER SO APPEALING TO ME SPECIFICALLY THIS IS UNFAIR

Which leads me to my other big headcanon: I firmly believe Lucifer tried to get to know sinners in the beginning, and that he tried some kind of “redeem sinners” effort at some point, just like Charlie’s doing - Perhaps for hundreds of years. But he failed, time and time again, until his dreams were absolutely crushed and he ended up giving up on them for good. I mean, those lines:

“You invite people in and offer them everything and they just bring violence and chaos to your doorstep. It doesn’t matter how well-intentioned you are. They’re always gonna disappoint you!”

“Sinners are violent psychopaths hellbent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. There’s really no point in trying”

^They all sound not like something he’s saying to rub it in Charlie’s face that he was right (which would be cruel and out of character for someone who seems to love his daughter so much), but more like a cautionary tale coming from a deeply ingrained experience, or like things he’s repeatedly told himself before.

And then during More Than Anything he says this:

“You didn’t know that when I tried this all before *gestures around him with his arms as if gesturing towards the hotel as a whole* my dreams were too hard to defend”

That just cemented that belief for me.

On another note, MORE THAN ANYTHING IS SO FREAKING GOOD?? I CRY EVERY TIME GODDAMMIT AFTER THAT SONG I WENT FROM “AW I LOVE THIS LITTLE MAN” TO “I’D DIE FOR HIM, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM I’LL KILL EVERYONE IN THE ROOM AND THEN MYSELF”. HE’S JUST So- asfgctrdhfdg

AND I HAVEN!T EVEN TALKED ABOUT HOW BADASS HE IS FIGHTING ADAM OR HOW CUTE AND SWEET HE WAS COMFORTING CHARLIE DURING THE FINALE LOOK AT HIMMM

Or about Radioapple (aka DuckieDeer lol), the ship that has had me in a fucking chokehold since I watched episode 5. There are so many things I love about it that I’d need like 3 whole pages to explain but for now have all this absolutely fantastic fanart instead ❤️

Once again thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Btw any thoughts on Radioapple?

Oh oh Lucifer is such an interesting character and he absolutely makes me eager to see and learn more about the verse and the finer points of what is/has happened in it.

Personally, RadioDust grabbed me by the heart more than anything, since Alastor is my favorite with Angel Dust as a close second, but I do hands down see the appeal of Radioapple.

[whereyoustand]

I love Evan Buckley with all my heart but I will never not get pissed off with the double standards.

it's so disheartening because I love buck so so so much but then people will say something false or contradictory and I have the irresistible (autistic) urge to explain why they aren't fully correct or having a full image.

this happens with characters, celebs, media, and more - and nine times out of ten, I don't even like them that much, I just HATE double standards or when people misinterpret things!

below the cut are a few examples that really stick out to me [it's 2am so pls excuse any mistakes] but I would love to know what you guys think.

(tw - ED, Doug)

"boo chimney sucks, he punched buck when buck was protecting maddie"

- Buck admitted to purposely maiming Eddie during the basketball game because he was jealous.

"maddie is such a bad sister, she should've told buck about daniel"

- Maddie was also a child who had basically been raising her brother whilst being told she wasn't allowed to mourn the other. she was also a victim of her parents grief.

"maddie left buck!!"

- A) she was going to college. B) she was in an abusive marriage? she gave him the keys to her car and he drove away, so if you want to get technical...

"Bobby betrayed Buck by not letting him back"

- Buck sued the department. He didn't even try going to the union or just waiting until he was off blood-thinners

"Buck is such a good parent"

- I'm sure he will be but canonically he hasn't made any decisions a parent would have to.

- dismissing the hard work of the actual parents in the show for Buck being parental is so sad.

"omg finally a queer character"

- fuck you mean 'finally??? Michael, Hen, Karen Josh, David, etc etc

"Taylor Kelly betrayed Buck."

- he cheated on her and expected her to change for him without any expectation to change himself.

"Tommy mentioned ketosis, he's promoting EDs"

- in that same episode, buck comments that ravi "doesn't have to eat everything at a buffet" (unprompted btw, they weren't talking about food at all)

- also he is the character who mentions eating and body image the most (the date, the calender, etc)

"Buck is so targeted"

- the white cis man is being targeted? did you guys not watch Hen begins or Chim begins? or that episode where that man is literally dying and refuses care from the two of them and eddie?

"chimney should've told buck"

- HE TRIED! chimney was put in an impossible situation and literally told maddie to tell buck at any given opportunity. whether he told buck or not, buck would've been devastated either way. the betrayal wasn't about chimney, it was about the buckleys.

"Buck had the saddest childhood"

- ravi had cancer. chimneys mum died and his dad left the country without him. hen never knew her dad and her mum didn't approve of her. Bobby's dad was abusive and died whilst he was one room over. Eddie had to care for the women in his home and got scolded at every opportunity. a dead girl was buried in athenas garage. fuck, taylor kelly doesnt know if her dad killed her mum or not. they all have tragic childhoods, stop comparing them.

I'm aware that every characters has flaws, it's what makes them amazing, but people never really acknowledge Buck's flaws unless it used as sympathy whilst using other people's flaws to bring them down.

I love buck but I hate the double standards.

[curekibouka-writing]

May I have a Rollo x reader scenario?👀👀 In which they are sorta debating, like Reader disagreeing with his views+his definition of justice(?)+both stating their own opinion and stuffs+sorta warm up to each other as the process goes on Btw, totally wouldn't mind for some angst in this if there's any u can think of fitting, that is

Thxx in advance🙏🙏 And take your time<(￣︶￣)/

Burn Your Way Out

**Major spoilers for Glorious Masquerade event**

A/N: When I realise I genuinely have trouble writing Rollo 💀 But thanks for the request, I wanted to write Rollo even though it's difficult (and probably not good) ;~;

“I apologise for having you involved in this,” Rollo settles near the Bell of Salvation, his back facing you, “But you will be safer here than with your companions. The flowers will not harm you and nor will I, so I’d appreciate it if you do not run off.” 

You did, in fact, try to run off, only to fail because he captured you with a swift immobilising spell. Crimson flowers shot up to his wrist, glowing in the delicious magic they can suck from him, but he put you down without a flinch. 

As he finishes instructing you to stay put, he places his handkerchief over his mouth and gazes far outside, into an abyss of fiery flowers. Waves and waves of screams devour the night’s silence. He sees, he hears, and his dead eyes come alive with an icy smile as all the red blazes in them. 

“Are you satisfied?” you snap, “Destroying so many futures, crushing so many dreams.” 

He stays silent for a moment. You know that he knows. 

“Magic had shown me a dream too,” he stows away his handkerchief, “and destroyed a future too.” He straightens his back, “I will not let it happen again.” 

“And you think it’s worth it? You think this is justice?” 

“Of all people, of all creatures,” he turns his gaze to you, no more red in his eyes, only an ashen wistfulness left in its place, “I had thought you would understand. Magic is evil, all it brings upon us is calamity.” 

“You are bringing a calamity upon this city, you—” 

“It’s for the right cause. Magic is power, power that corrupts us, blinds us, power that we are not ready for. A world without it… a world like yours must be fairer, kinder.” 

In a world like yours, he thinks, his brother would’ve lived. 

“A world like mine? Aha… ahahahaha!” You burst out laughing, catching him by surprise, “So you’re blaming magic for unfairness? Have you seen the world? We are all corrupt from the start, we are blind from the get-go. Aren’t you the perfect example?” 

You can almost see the anguish boil in his eyes, flaring dangerously like a monster in the dark as it reaches the brim. He pushes through flowers latching onto him to take a strong step at you, “I am not…!” His voice does not follow that momentum. 

“You are caged. Caged in a cycle to prove your ‘justice’ to no one but yourself. So don’t expect me to understand. I’m not any kinder or any blinder without magic.” 

“You—” Rollo looks at the city outside once again, and now the noises pound inside his chest like the tolls of the bell. He dislikes it, this awareness that he is making a mistake and despite all he still charges forward. It reminds him of innocence, of recklessness. It reminds him of childhood, of the time when he had seen his brother faltering, heard his brother panting, yet he did not stop him. 

And perhaps you are right to some extent. How can he stop now? His wrongs not yet righted, his purpose not yet fulfilled. How can he face himself? 

“I had to do something,” he clenches his sceptre, the slightest hint of uncertainty ripples in his eyes, “How else should I atone? How else do I set things right?” 

How else can he be free? 

“You can’t.” You state coldly, piercing through the tolls in his heart. “The past is past. It’s gone. It’s dead. You can’t fix anything of it no matter what you do. All this,” you charge right up to him, easily moving through the flowers reaching up to your calf, throwing a hand toward the fiery pit outside, “All this! Is pointless, selfish, stupid. You are covering up a mistake by making another, you can’t justify a lie with another.”

The voices shrieking “That’s not true, that’s not true!” in his head every day, voices that crush every attempt to waver his conviction, are somehow quieter when it’s you who speak. He can hear you over them. 

He wants to take another step toward you. He wants to listen to you. Maybe you are not wrong, maybe you can free him. 

He moves, but his feet are pinned in place, chained by fire crackling in whispers. They tell him it was his fault. They tell him this is his duty. They tell him he must fix it with his own two hands. 

His eyes widen as if he is suddenly awake. A powerful blast peels you off the ground, throwing you away from him. 

“My past cannot be gone. My past cannot be dead! You don’t understand what I must entrust my hopes to just to get by. You don’t understand after all.” 

Flowers coil around his wrists, yanking his arms downward, and he doesn’t fight them. 

You slowly get to your feet— he didn’t hurt you as he promised. You approach him again, he looks so, so small against the fiery crimson pulling him into their grasp. 

He does not back away. He wordlessly regards you with his dark eyes, letting you come close enough to look into his eyes as well. What do you see in them this time? 

With a loud snap, you grab the vines on his arms and rip them off. You take his palm and shove the now harmless flowers in it, “They are dead. You are alive. We are alive. Their path has reached an end and you’re not walking on it. Our paths are ours to pave and you have no right to it. Don’t entrust your hopes to what isn’t yours, you will never be free.” 

Rollo considers your words hesitantly, falling to silence. And for the first time, you see no flame or ash in his dark eyes. You see rain. It’s a thing of sadness, of change, and of beauty. 

[fanfiction-blep]

I have a request!! Imagine Na’vi!Quaritch notices how much the reader craves for touch, like a one single pat on the shoulder gives the reader a shiver down their spine and has this fuzzy feeling inside,, So Quaritch gives them what they’ve been craving for a long time!!??

I LOVE YOUR WRITING BTW IT SO GOOD!!! 🤍🤍🤍

YES I love this, as a very touched starved person this speaks to me on a personal level.

Na'vi Miles Quaritch X Na'vi Fem/Reader.

Warnings: Implied smut, fluff, , teasing, Quaritch being a cocky little shit.

It takes him a minuet to pick up on the very physical reactions your body had to his touch, but when he noticed it. He honed in on that shit.

The first time he noticed your reaction was a normal day in the control centre you were going through files, the taller man brushing past you his hand on the small of your back slipping past you. You unconsciously leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering ever so slightly. It was such a subtle reaction, yet he finally noticed all of it.

A smirk snuck it's way onto his face, an idea forming in his mind.

He wanted to exploit this new found weakness of yours he was going to dig in his fingers and have a meal with you.

The teasing started slow, he would brush against you. Fingers dancing along the arch of your back.

Purposely placing his open palm on your shoulder or hand.

You could be bent over picking something up or working over a desk and he would pull at your tail lightly maybe even running his thumb and pointer finger from base to tip.

Your back would arch just a little muscles of yours shoulders tensing, but what really got him was the shiver than ran down your spine.

He would strut over to you and ruffle his fingers through your hair, gently scratching at your scalp. Causing your shoulders to shudder and a light gasp to leave your lips.

You wanted him to stop, because these light touches were almost intimate to you. They didn't mean the same thing to you that they did to him. You didn't realise he was doing it on purpose, you thought it was an honest mistake. That's why you never told him to stop. Afraid that if he knew how much comfort and pleasure his touch gave you then he would either be disgusted or mock you.

You never imagined that, that one light gasp would ignite a fire inside of him. He wanted to bring more of those noises out of you.

So the next time you were leaning up for the top shelf his fingers traced up the back of your thigh. Palm flat tracing over your plump behind settling on your back, leaning past you to grab the item you desired. His lips brushing against your ear, his breath tickling your skin.

"Need help there do ya, darlin?" His words made you bush slightly. A reaction that did not go unnoticed by him.

The final straw for him was when you got injured on a mission, past out in his arms. He had to carry you back, slightly irritated but somehow relieved. The moment he lost all self control was when you nuzzled your face into his neck, the whine that left your lips when he lowered you down on your bed was too much.

He had to sneak away to his own room, palming away at his groin. The sound of your whines and whimpers filling his ears. It felt wrong, but until he could have you he would have to rely on his imagination.

[gio-scrabbles]

🧪Goji the Lizard 🦎

Here’s two colored drawings I made of Goji as with his plushie he likes to call Zilla as well as him with Shadow, who is HOLDING HIM INCORRECTLY AGAIN!!!! At least Goji seems to be having a good time.

Of course I had to draw them right after receiving a new Apple Pencil for Christmas! I was excited making decent looking line art and sketches again!

Btw, I updated Goji’s backstory to be different from what it used to be. He still rides on EggPOD, but his origins are very different. There’s also Dr Kreo lore!

Kreo Logs

Entry #7

Goji: This specimen from an alternate universe, claiming to be called Goji, appears to be a modified organic lifeform within a toddler to young child age range. He named himself, with the help of Shadow the Hedgehog, after the fictitious character, Godzilla, due to him being one of his “favorites,” and even containing a cherished plush toy with the monster’s likeness.

Goji’s attire includes a medical gown, hospital slippers, and a large helm attached to his cranium (more on its purpose later), implying that he might of just left a medical or, Gaia forbid, a laboratory setting.

When first discovered wandering around an abandoned skyscraper, which has become our temporary work area/hideout during our final stage of Operation Evolution, he was questioning where is family was. Specifically shouting for his “Brother” to return. As soon as I entered his field of vision and offered to aid him, however, he hid behind his plush toy in fear. Perceiving me as a stranger, despite me knowing who he really was.

As for my theory of what the purpose of the helm is, I believe it serves a similar function as the inhibitor rings Shadow used to wear. He contains an energy within him that converts into a powerful explosion when untamed. When wearing the helm, the energy converts into increments of lasers that shoot out of his forehead (I’ve learned all of this the difficult way).

Perhaps he was a successful version of the Ultimate Lifeform in his timeline. Perhaps he may be the true final piece of the puzzle to save humanity!

NO! I mustn’t take advantage of another being like this and make the same mistake again!

[queen-of-elves]

Is this hell?

Niragi Suguru x fem!reader

Highschool AU(?)

Summary: the original idea post

Word count: 3,3K

Warnings: Niragi lol (not in like haha my babygirl but literally this man is psycho please beware so), bullying, mentioning of blood and violence, two or three mentionings of y/n, it's not proofread so I apologize for any kind of mistakes

A/N: I am not condoning any of Niragi’s actions, I too think he should rot in hell and his actions are unforgivable that being said this fanfiction purpose is not  to glorify etc anything about him plus it’s not meant to be in any sort a darkfic (I myself can’t read those.) btw I am also tagging some people who liked the post :))

*****

Part 1: highschool

Since Suguru Niragi could remember, he was always a loser, always weaker than anyone else. Girls laughed at him and boys bullied him and if someone could actually handle looking at him, their face only showed pity. His school years were spent alone somewhere in a corner or just far away from potential troubles. There was a possible hope in going to high school in a completely different district but even that proved useless. Niragi still looked like a prey and if there is a prey, there is also a predator. So he would become as small as he could to hide but sometimes even that wasn’t enough.

These three boys picked on him since the first week of school, like if they could smell his fear, they preyed upon him, made the boy with glasses buy them snacks or lunches from his own allowance and would get pissed off at the end of the month if he didn’t have any money left for their cigarettes. And them getting pissed ment only one thing, punishment, in reality that was just an excuse to bully him harder than on the days the three boys were bored. Oftentimes the punishments were very unoriginal, that kind a child could come up with, other times the originality was astonishing, something no one in their sane mind would be able to come up with. Maybe the boys were just that, not mentally sane, or maybe an evil devoured them the moment they were born and so they did the same to others. An eye for an eye sort of thing.

By the last year of highschool Niragi couldn’t take it anymore, over the years his attempts for finding help ended in vain, no one was willing to stop them and in the end it was as if no one knew he was bullied, as if people didn’t notice his scared eyes and bruises. But Niragi didn’t know what was coming that day.

 The boys dragged him to the bridge and this time it was not only the main trio but also a few of his other classmates. All of them cheered while he became a target of their baseball practice. Maybe he did something to them today that made even those classmates of his participate, Niragi couldn’t be sure anymore. No, it didn’t matter actually, any kind of word as a reasoning now was just an excuse trying to justify the bully's behavior. The abuse was too much and he was almost on his tipping point.

“Ts, you move one more time and I will make you eat it again.” The bully swung the baseball bat again while glancing around him. “Rice with piss.” He was the type who throws their head back when laughing too much. Was making him eat it so funny? 

Suguru’s nose was bleeding. He could feel it before he tasted the coppery taste in his mouth and his vision was blurry, the first hit with a ball shattering his glasses on the ground. This had to be hell, purgatory or something, there had to be some divine reason, something to justify this torture. He hated himself, of course he did and through all of this pain a quick thought flashed in his mind. Maybe if he was in their position he would do the same, bully the weak.

“Yes? Oh, I would like to report fighting, they have (school name) uniforms, please be quick.” Niragi didn’t even realize that someone else was now watching him struggle to breathe, a girl in the same highschool uniform. Her voice sounded meak, scared and as if she was on the verge of tears, but she was standing like a picture of confidence with her eyes trained on one of the bullies. 

“The fuck do you think you are doing, eh?” One of the bullies started to yell, however the girl didn’t even flinch, she just calmly closed the flip phone, slipping it back into her jacket. Now that Niragi had time to fully adjust his vision, which was still very blurry, he realized who the girl was.  Not only was she another student from his highschool, she was one of his classmates from the same homeroom. Y/N, that was her name, she wasn’t a prominent figure in the school, not really significant like class president or something, but she was there and she was always quietly watching. She was the type Niragi aspired to be, someone who had friends and someone who gets invited to things like karaoke or dates. Dates, she probably got a loads of confessions, in no way was she the school idol but you had to be blind to think she wasn’t pretty. 

“I just reported you to the police, didn’t you hear? They are going to be here pretty soon.” Y/N was now laughing lightly and the whole group looked pissed, really pissed this time. What was she thinking, they were surely going to kill her for this. One of them ripped the baseball bat out of the grasp of the last one, ready to swing it at her.

“If I were you I wouldn’t do it.” Tight lipped smile slipped on her face, her eyes staring momentarily at him. “After all, if the police arrive and find me hurt or in a worse state… it would be just worse for all of you, wouldn’t it?” Her smile now contented many teeth, white with little yellow grinning at his abusers. Her cheeks raised, it was a genuine smile, she found this whole situation truly amusing.

By now the boys thought about the risk and decided that their little prey was not worth it, at least for now. “Whatever, bitch. Oi, boys, we are done here, let’s go for a drink.” The oldest commanded and all of them swiftly following his example started to walk away. Their departure also included some rude comments thrown at her and the last one, youngest of all of them, he was two grades below them and was very keen on becoming like them for some reason, readying punch in the air just to cease the action when the girl didn’t spare him even a glance. 

She was now staring at Niragi intensely, without blinking, and then she finally opened her mouth and said. “Suguru Niragi, right?” The boy could only nod to her question. Her gaze changed direction, now at his feet staring at something on the ground. That’s when Niragi got reminded again of his blurry vision, she was looking at his glasses before her eyes once again returned to his face. 

“Hey, Niragi… let’s be friends.” At that moment Niragi knew that those curious eyes actually looked at him, no pity, only interest beaming behind them.

And maybe his life was not a hell, maybe from now on it would get better.

**************

The bullying indeed got better, didn’t stop but got much more bearable with her by his side. She wasn’t by any means a sunshine person, most of the time she was silent, which made him incredibly nervous and twitchy, however, when she spoke it was always something interesting. The girl never showed interest when it came to boring things, instead it seemed that her head turned at anything slightly fascinating. It was in pure contrast with her appearance, a normal highschool girl that never got herself in trouble but always was witness to some. She really did have a knack for these kinds of situations.

So his new friend dragged him along, trouble never catching up to them out of pure luck or maybe it was like her superpower, that's what the boy always thought. After a few weeks of their friendship Niragi felt content, finally he had a light at the end of the tunnel, a safe spot for himself in the world. He didn’t yet realize that soon their paths would divide when it came to college and his sunny days could be over again. But for now he enjoyed her company, after all there was still at least 4 months before the graduation. 

Part 2: bordeland

College was another new start and with the promise of keeping in touch with his now sort of, Niragi wasn’t still sure, best friend, he was ready for new experiences. The first few weeks were fine, school was fun again and it seemed that he made a few new friends along the way. He now got invited to parties and shared dinners and genuinely had a good time for such an introvert. 

However, his little bubble of happiness was meant to burst on one of the shared dinners after a long day of lectures. It was one of the days packed with long seminars and Niragi was ready to relax with his classmates over some good food and a bit of beer when it happened. They were sitting in the back of the restaurant, most of them already sporting one beer in hand when another group of people walked in. Loud and obnoxious yelling followed them and Niragi swore he recognized some of the voices. 

The now college student should have known better, he did know them, of course he did, they made his life miserable for what felt like an eternity. Those bullies that proved to him the awfulness of humankind. The only thing Niragi now hoped for was that they would not notice him, that they wouldn't recognize him but he hadn't changed at all. The same hair, the same kind of glasses and the same scared expression.

And then it happened, one of them turned and his gaze became trained on him, his before yelling face turned into a horrible grin. This guy loved to push young Niragi’s face into the toilet, that was his thing, he really wasn’t that original in the means of “punishment” but he was still part of the group and that defined trouble. 

“NO WAY!” His voice boomed through the restaurant, stopping the conversation at the table Niragi was sitting at. Most of his fellow classmates were now staring at the guy with confused or irritated expressions.

“Guys! Look who is there, Sugura Niragi.” His grin grew with these words and his friend’s attention was now at him, staring and waiting for any kind of elaboration. 

Niragi didn’t know where to look, if he looked into the restaurant, he could see what felt like thousand of eyes staring at him, if he looked around the table he would get confused looks expecting explanation and if he looked before him he would look into the eyes of one of the most hated people by him, so he stared blankly into his glass, hoping that all of this could just disappear. Maybe she could just magically appear and save him once again, more like a thousand times again actually.

“You know each othe-'' But before one of his classmates could finish the question the booming voice sounded again. “Know him? Of course. Didn’t he tell you?” The rest of the guys were now coming closer, also recognizing him. Their laugh was like tiny little needles poking him and their whispers turned his stomach. His current classmates now could hear about how pathetic he was in highschool and Niragi knew that it was back, it was there again, he felt small and stupid. Did the universe really hate him this much?

But this time Niragi had a choice, he could just leave and ignore it and so he did. He rushed out leaving the payment on someone else’s shoulders while dodging and kind of arms that tried to grab at him, keep him at the hellhole. He runned for what felt like hours, sprinting down the streets until he was sure there was no way one of them could follow him. He felt terrible and knew that sleep would not come this night to him and it truly didn’t. He layed in his bed for hours until exhaustion took him out with a sweet promise of blissful ignorance of the nightmare he again became part of. 

The next day was even more painful than the night before, he had to face his classmates and so when the time finally came and he had to approach someone, he chose Ayato. Ayato was always a smiling tall guy with slightly longer hair hiding the corners of his eyes and a mole under the right corner of his lips. He was a good guy, the kind of guy who would send you notes from the lecture if you asked him. However, now he looked like an instant death in Niragi’s eyes but there was no other choice than to talk to him.

“I wanted to pay you back, you probably had to pay for me when I suddenly left last night.” He couldn’t meet Ayato’s eyes, he couldn’t see in them how pathetic he was, not again, he couldn’t take it anymore. This was his burning point and there was no coming back.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, man.” Ayato laughed and went back to rummaging through his backpack. Did he bother him, no, this was probably just a tactic on how to not have further conversation with him. Just appear busy and that pathetic loser Niragi will leave. Did they all really view him as pathetic? Fuck. They probably did. They must have laughed at him when he left with the whole group of his old classmates, his bullies. 

World really is cruel.

And this was the point when he decided to change and so over the following years his sorrow turned into anger, burning and scorching flame that alighted everything inside that was still alive and breathing, the rest of the hope. The little happy moments were not enough. For example, going to college? He fucking deserved it for all the shit he went through so he didn’t expect anything else than to get accepted into one. He also still maintained some sort of contact with Y/N, both of them got quite busy in college, however otherwise Niragi had isolated himself.

But oh, how he wished those guys that tormented him could see Niragi now, he changed, just like his hardened heart he hardened his appearance. Piercings adoring his face and tongue, silver glistering as warning signs. He looked like a danger, no more the prey look and nervous stare, he was to be feared now. And it wasn’t just his appearance, he became rough and cruel slowly becoming just like those he despised but he always justified it in his mind that it was for his own good.

And so came another punishment for his foolishness.

The gods really hate me, hm? That was his first thought at the empty streets of the city which he once found overly crowded. “Is this hell!?” His yelling echoing down the long corridors of empty sidewalks and alleys.

 It must have been days since he woke up in the silent city, he didn’t know what else to do now that there was no one, so he drank and drank all the alcohol he could find. And in one of his drunken moments they found him almost passed out in one of the dirty alleys near Shibuya. At first he didn’t want to go with them, too drunk out of his mind to understand what they were telling him, but they grabbed him and… that's all he could remember, he probably passed out. 

When Niragi woke up his head was pounding and his throat felt sore but all of that was swept under the rug with the realization that under him were soft white sheets instead of harsh pavement. Slowly, as he could manage without his head shooting needles in it, he sat up upon the bed, he really was in a clean room, a hotel room but any kind of thinking was stopped with the hotel room’s door opening. This uninvited guest sported a kimono and sunglasses were obscuring his eyes. 

“You must be the newbie, let me welcome you properly at The Beach, the only paradise in The Borderland.” The man was grinning widely and Niragi was sure of his interior motive but who gives a damn, he was the first person he had a proper conversation with in days. 

And so his career as a player for beach and handsman for Aguni began.

Working for The Beach was on most days such a great fun, but it was as if Niragi slowly forgot that this was also real and just submitted to his dark thoughts full of violence and blood. He stopped caring about consequences or what was morally right, nothing mattered in his world to him and he verified it through the actions of others. He met vile criminals and monsters in the disguises of people here and in the real world too, so what was the difference if he joined in, in this utopia of sin.

But it was the moment he was beating up some guy, he didn’t even break any rule, he just pissed Niragi with his stupid face, that he noticed them. She was there, she was also inside this horrible nightmare, staring in shock at him with hand covering her open mouth. Y/N must have recognized him, there was no way she couldn’t, if someone could recognize him, it would be her, solely her. He didn’t see her face to face since his change, they only texted and called each other via phone, she must have thought it was because he got so busy but maybe inside, he knew he didn’t want her to see what he had become. Suguru Niragi really thought that their next meeting would be different, that those same eyes would look into his with the same adoration and curiosity it once held but there was none of it.

And there was no excuse for his actions, he could see that now and even though his anger still buried the vast amount of guilt, he was a bad person, he was sure of it. And he knew it for a very long time but there was no denying it now. Another punishment from the gods staring right at him in the form of a pretty lady he had a long history with. And maybe there was no worse cruelty than this, knowing even through all this hardship he received all his life, he could have a good life if he had chosen to be a good person from the start.

Too late to change my path.

In the end the anger always wins over guilt that has to be buried or you will be buried yourself. Niragi used to strongly believe in this conviction but now he felt like a little school boy again, pitiful glances piercing right through him, however this time it was much more meaningful. Here it wasn’t just strangers, it was someone he trusted and they stared inside him with shocked expression. He wondered what she saw, probably someone filled with anger and filth covered in blood, someone she couldn’t handle to look at. It was the same over again but this time different and caused by his own actions, so fully justified. There really isn't any way to redeem himself anymore.

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