#i let myself be manipulated into reading it (/j)

[kazutora-lover]

After having 'Heaven Official's Blessing' all over my socials, I finally succumbed and ordered myself some light novels lol

The descriptions did sound pretty convincing — I shall update you on my reading progress once they're arrived ~

[chososdiscordkitten]

Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 5

pt 4 here

content: stalking (duhh) Choso goes home for Christmas, calls u nd texts u the whole time, brief mention of his brothers, mentions of readers lipstick n perfume, no use of y/n or pronouns, cursing (a.n) ahhhhh this one is one of my favorites. made me smile a lot. wrote this listening to 'Sextape- Deftones'

Taglist : @brokenscaredakira @adanfore @emojk777 @waytootiredforthisss @denypipa @broccocrab @sunaumei @morinuu @just-pure-trash @iluvreinah @integers @ziklope @killakungfu-wolfbitch @1arminsimp

Obsessive!Choso who actually enjoyed coming to class, now that you sit next to him. Enjoying it so much that he felt like his grades were somewhat getting better. Now that he actually had to show that he was writing down notes. Having to actually follow the presentations from the professor on his computer, knowing that you were sitting inches away from him. When you sat so far away- he didn't have to worry about taking notes, or even bother opening his computer- because you couldn't see him. ‘You are good for me. You make me want to better myself for you.’ he'd think, looking over at you writing on your computer. 

Obsessive!Choso who had anxiety that once this project was over- you'd run back to the same friends that will never make you smile the way he does. The people who peer pressured you into drinking and doing drugs- just because you wanted to fit in. ‘You'd never have to worry about that with me. I will never pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.’ 

Obsessive!Choso who was scared that once the excuse of being partners for this class was no longer usable. You'd leave him, you'd find someone else to entertain your afternoons, someone who will replace him. So scared that he’d grovel to the professor, asking for an extension. Telling you, “Somethings missing- I'll let you know once I've finished my part.” when you'd ask him if he was finished with it yet. Knowing he did that summary days ago, only having it on another doc so you wouldn't see that he finished it.

Obsessive!Choso who spent the last few classes he had left with you on the verge of tears. His heart was heavy in his chest, pocketing all the notes you had exchanged with him. Running out of space to put them, finding an old converse box and placing them inside. Using so much tape too quickly, trying his best to preserve the pieces of paper. Nights where he'd re-read them, feeling guilt for leaving you. 

Obsessive!Choso who felt like his brain was going to explode, the anxiety of turning in the assignment was too much. Knowing he would have to turn it in before winter break- right before he left you. ‘I want to trust you,’ he thought, your name in his mind as though he was speaking to you. ‘I really do. But it's not that I don't fully trust you. I don't trust the people you’ll be left with. The people without families- like you. Who will prey on you. Who will make you think they're just like you. But they're not, they're just trying to manipulate you-’ You scanned his face, knowing he was thinking of something else while you were talking. “You okay?” You asked, seeing him shake his thoughts away before answering, “Just thinking.” he replied, a pained smile on his face. “About?” You asked, wondering what he could be thinking that was so serious that his face looked almost agonized, while you spoke.

Obsessive!Choso who contemplated lying, but the need to tell the truth was far greater. “I keep thinking about you all alone here. Alone during Christmas.” He confessed, seeing you sigh. “I like being alone. I'll be okay, don't worry.” You assured, almost reaching for his hand to comfort him- but you knew that was too far, and definitely too soon. You didn't want to invade his personal space. Seeing him only return a forced smile to you, knowing he wasn't fully convinced of the idea from his silence. Seeing an opportunity to lift up the mood, you let out a laugh. “I'll call you everyday- Send you pictures every 5 minutes.” You joked, earning a smile from him. “So many pictures that you'll feel like you're still here.” you smiled, seeing him nod his head while smiling. 

Obsessive!Choso who wished you knew how badly he wanted you to actually do those things. Liking the way you tried to ease his worries. Pushing away the anxiety so he could relish the last few times he'd be able to see you. 

Obsessive!Choso who's following habit became worse. Now standing outside your house for what felt like hours. Watching the four walls that kept you from him in the cold wind, standing still when it rained. Even when it started snowing for the first time that season. ‘We’re together for the first snowfall. You know what that means right? True love will blossom between us.’ Seeing you through the curtainless window, watching you close a thin curtain- as though you felt him watching you. Now only letting him see your shadow. Smile on his face when you'd call him- your tone made it clear that you were grinning ear to ear the whole time, oblivious to the fact that he was just a few yards away from you. Seeing you pace in front of the window as he spoke to you. ‘I know you want me to make a move. But I’ll wait. I will wait till the moment you feel the same way I do.’ He'd think, listening to you speak. 

Obsessive!Choso who thanked whatever celestial being that was out there, for making the lights on the sidewalk go out. Watching your house without fear of someone seeing him. ‘For now-I will love you from a distance,’ he professed, a grin on his face when he thought of your name. ‘I will wait for you.’ 

Obsessive!Choso who turned in the assignment a day before he left. He was pushing it- but he did it for a reason. He did it for you, to make sure you wouldn't give up on him.

Obsessive!Choso who was about to leave- but he needed to see you, just one more time. Walking around campus trying to find you. Checking his phone seeing his plane was leaving in an hour and a half. Seeing you inside the campus cafe- book in your hand. Break had already started, the campus was almost empty, but seeing you doing what you told him you'd do. Catching up on the books you started, but never finished. ‘Even if you didn't know I was looking at you- you look effortless.’ he thought, walking towards the doors of the shop. 

Obsessive!Choso who opens the door and sees you look up at him. Smiling and mouthing a ‘hi’ at him. Walking to the small table you sat at. Not knowing what to say, shaking his head, seeing your face turn in confusion. He was just standing there- not pulling out the chair to sit. “I was- I was about to leave.” He smiled, pulling the chair across from you, rings clashing against the wooden back.

Obsessive!Choso who sat down and seemed fidgety, compared to the chivalric aura he usually kept. “And you decided you needed one last shitty coffee before leaving. Smart.” You smiled, joking in hopes he'd loosen up a little. “No-” he smiled, softening his expression. Seeing you place your book down, making sure to remember the title. He wanted to say a million things, tell you how he needed to see you. He needed to say goodbye. As though he was your friend of 10 years leaving to fight in a war, feeling like if he left you; he would never see you again. “I wanted-” He started, closing his eyes and fidgeting with his hands. “I wanted to say ‘goodbye’ to you, before I left.” Seeing you fight off a smile, your eyes blinking rapidly at his words. “That's sweet of you.” You smiled, tilting your head and seeing him look up. 

Obsessive!Choso who felt his cheeks warm at your words. “What time’s your flight?” You asked, picking up your coffee and taking a sip. “In an hour.” He exhaled, seeing you widen your eyes. “What are you still doing here? You're going to be late!” you exclaimed with a smile. ‘I know, I know. I still have to go get my bags, and call an uber to take me across town.’ He thought, hearing you say the same things he was thinking, calling your name in his mind, ‘But I don't care. I will buy another one, I will spend another fortune on a useless ticket home. I needed to see you.’ 

Obsessive!Choso who was practically pushed out the doors of the shop, standing in front of him with a look on your face as though you were waiting for something. “I'll call you.” You mumbled, looking into his eyes for the very first time. “I’ll answer.” He replied, hesitating to take a step back before walking away, looking back and seeing you wave goodbye at him through the windows. Closing his eyes, feeling his feet want to turn around, looking back once more. Already sitting back in the chair you were in when he first walked in. ‘Wait for me.’ he thought, speed walking back to his apartment.

Obsessive!Choso ran through the airport, being 15 minutes late- but he made it. Standing in the line to board the plane, looking over to a small gift shop. Seeing the cover of the book you were reading- running over and buying it as the line moved. Almost 30 dollars, but fuck. You were worth it.

Obsessive!Choso who got home to his brothers, he was happy to see them but something was missing. You were missing, spending the first night in his bed picturing you here with him. Being nice to his brothers, joking with them. Waiting for you to call him, or text him. But radio silence. Nothing. It made his head hurt, trying to fight off the thoughts of you being kidnapped. With his luck, the first night he was away from you, you probably would. Knowing how careless you were while walking home, how you didn't take any safety measures like carrying pepper spray or making sure to not take the same route home. ‘I will always make sure you're safe. Make sure you have black out curtains, make sure you don't have to walk home alone.’ Hands behind his head while looking up to the ceiling. ‘And as much as you'd fight me on this- make sure you won't walk around with your earphones in.’ The chances of someone coming up behind you and pressing a chloroform rag to your face were too great. Choso was sure that once he could, he would instill that fear into your head. The fear of someone hurting you, of how dangerous it was being so careless nowadays. The fear of someone taking you away from him.

Obsessive!Choso who opened instagram, clicking your account. His heart shattered. You had privated your account. Almost as though you heard his thoughts of how reckless you were about your privacy. Holding his phone in his hands, staring down at the screen with a mournful look plastered to it. Seeing a notification pop up at the top of his screen, from you. ‘You know me. You know me so well- you know exactly when I need you.’

Obsessive!Choso who screenshotted the notification, opening it and seeing you sent him a photo. Of you with a plate of food in your hand, furrowing your eyebrows playfully. ‘u home yet ?’ he read, closing his eyes and almost reciting a prayer in thanks. Seeing you in a black tank top with his favorite band printed onto it. The first photo you had ever sent him- a photo that only he had. That you took specifically for him. ‘You'd never send this to one of your friends. You showing me your shirt proves it.’ Saving the photo and typing, ‘since like 9pm’ quickly going to his settings and changing his wallpaper to the photo you just sent him. ‘why didnt u tell meeee’ you replied. You didn't give him a whole lot of time to reply before you called him, scolding him playfully. “You didn't want me to call you did you?” you asked, sarcasm making Choso smile. “I know it's late over there- I thought you were asleep.” He replied, doing the same thing he's done every time he's been on the phone with you. Picturing you standing in the same place you were when you took the photo. 

Obsessive!Choso who asked you what you were eating, “Leftover mac n cheese my roommate left.” you replied, almost disappointed with your own answer. ‘Cruel. How cruel of them to leave you with their leftovers. I will always make sure you eat a decent meal- that's right,’ he thought, saying your name. ‘I cook too. Just for you.’ He thought, hearing you let out a laugh when he asked, “Really?” in disappointment. “It was that or frozen pizza that's been there since I moved in.” You smiled. Your cheeks feeling fuzzy at his concern, “How's the reading going?” he asked, trying to ignore the sound of a glass breaking coming from the kitchen. “Meh, boring- the main character in this one I'm reading is annoying.” You shrugged, “As a matter of fact lemme read you one of the stupidest things he's said-” You smiled, opening the book and flipping the pages. “So, anyway, there I go again. Straying away from the point. Where was I?- like who published this? Makes me upset just thinking about how this guy is real.” you spoke, tossing it onto the counter and sighing. “The whole book is like that- it’s all just a mans troubles with women and enjoying hurting them- s’fucking stupid.” You heard him let out a stifled laugh, “It's not funny-” You smiled, hearing him keep laughing, “First book I want to finish and it's bullshit.” you exclaimed, hearing him settle down. “What book is it?” He asked, trying to stop his laugh. ‘I know what book it is. It's the same one you were reading in the cafe. The same one I started reading on the flight.’

Obsessive!Choso who smiled when you said the title. Closing his eyes in triumph. “Why did you get so far reading it?” he asked, knowing that the first page was shocking enough. “I thought- it was a book of someone who gets their karma back- becomes a better person- blah blah blah. But nope, apparently there's 2 more books. Of the same man, with the same troubles.” You replied, taking a bite from your plate and leaning against the counter. Furrowing your eyebrows when you fully processed his question. “How'd you know I was so far into reading it?” you asked, your tone indicated it wasn't a serious question. But it made Choso’s heart drop. “I saw how little pages you had left at the cafe.” He lied. Knowing he had read that page in the book earlier. Not fully read- more skimmed the pages.

Obsessive!Choso who felt relief when he heard you inhale. “I didn't know you noticed such small details like that.” You commented, holding the phone with your shoulder as you took another bite. Choso hummed at your response, “Anyway- don't talk to me about that book.” You grinned, hearing Choso exhale with a smile. You were about to ask him how his brothers were, starting the sentence but hearing a door slam open. “Choso- Yuuji broke moms vase!” You heard a teasing tone through the phone, “I did not!” you heard bickering, Choso mumbled a quick, “I gotta go-” placing his phone on his desk, not hanging up. Hearing Choso scold his younger brother before ending the call. Smiling at how much his tone changed when speaking to his brothers- more authoritative and demanding.

Obsessive!Choso who felt horrible for hanging up the way he did, thinking of how disrespectful it was. The argument that sparked between his brothers ran long, all of them blaming each other for breaking this vase. Which, according to Choso, was priceless. Texting you a quick, ‘sorry i didnt call u back, they just settled down.’ Seeing the message go from delivered to seen. ‘You were waiting for me?’

Obsessive!Choso whose heart felt tight when he read your reply. ‘was just abt to go to bed’ his fingers typing quickly, ‘im sorry, i'll text you in the morning?’ seeing the typing bubble pop up the minute he pressed send. ‘kk talk to u tmmrw. goodnightttt :)’ he smiled at your reply, ‘goodnight :]’ he replied, wanting to send you a <3 heart but he restrained himself.

Obsessive!Choso who texted you every morning, making you smile at his sweet ‘good morning’ texts. Knowing he'd be busy with his brothers so you didn't call him, but your phone was stuck onto your hand, replying to his texts at lightning speed. ‘call me when ur not busy okay?’ you'd ask, making Choso giggle like those words were some kind of great attempt at flirting. And he would- he'd try to. Somehow always being interrupted by his brothers- remembering why he chose a college so far away. But the 2 am calls when he'd hear your voice, quiet and sleepy. They were worth it. Knowing you'd keep yourself awake just to talk to him. The constant pinging from his phone and Choso leaving the room to call you made his brothers suspicious. Even more so when one of them caught a glimpse at his wallpaper, seeing a photo of you- taking his phone and passing it around. Teasing him and asking if he finally found a partner. 

Obsessive!Choso who died of embarrassment when he was talking to you on the phone, one of his brothers knocked loudly at his door. Jumping when he heard the youngest pound at the locked door. “Choso! Open up-” he shouted, twisting the doorknob as he heard you laugh. “Are you talking to your lover?!” he teased through the door, only earning you to laugh louder. Saying ‘Hold on’ Before muting the call, standing up and opening the door to see them huddled to hear what he was saying. A dark aura around him when he saw them, “What is wrong with you.” He stated, rather than asked, seeing them look up at him. “I needed 20 bucks…?” the youngest asked, Choso reaching into his pocket and tossing the money at him. Closing the door and locking it again. Coming back to the phone and pressing the unmute button. 

Obsessive!Choso mumbled, “Sorry.” hoping you didn't hear what just happened. Closing his eyes as you let out a small laugh, “Am i crazy or did your brother just call me your ‘lover’?” you asked, a smile evident in your tone. “You heard that?” he grimaced, hearing you laugh. “Yes. Yes, I did.” You answered, “What are you telling your brothers that they think I'm your ‘lover’, Choso?” You teased, hearing him exhale with a smile. ‘You're teasing me? Bad. This is bad.’ he thought, making his heart beat quickly in a good way, and in a bad way. Knowing that he would have to fight off your attempts at flirting with a stick. ‘So very tempting. Too tempting. But it's too soon. I want us to be good friends before I call you mine. But I am already yours. You don't have to worry about that.’

Obsessive!Choso who shut his eyes tightly, instantly regretting the words that came out of his mouth. “I haven't said a thing, but they noticed the texting. And the secret phone calls.” The silence showed him the disappointment you felt. Knowing you wanted to hear how he told them all about you. “Oh! Well I mean anyone would be suspicious of that!” you exclaimed, it got awkward. You felt embarrassed. Thinking that the attempt to make a move flew over his head, or he didn't feel the same. But all the signs? All the longing looks, all the subtle comments he’d say that made you realize he paid more attention to your words than you thought. To your actions, his eyes scan your face when you’d change the color of your lipstick, or when you'd wear a different perfume. Face full of confusion till he noticed what was different- you thought he was into you. ‘Maybe he is- and he just sucks at seeing when someone is flirting with him.’ You'd assure yourself.

Obsessive!Choso who kept saving the pictures you sent him. Of your coffee, of your poetry, of your outfits for the day, sending him a photo of the snow. Pictures of anything you could find, Choso would always smile at them. The ability of scrolling through your instagram wasn't sorely missed. Now being able to see photos of you that you took just for him. And saving every single one. Smile on your lips whenever you'd see he ‘loved an image’ before replying to your messages. 

Obsessive!Choso who was on his phone, refreshing your instagram page over and over again. Switching to his personal account, an account he made in highschool. Not even posted anything, less than 100 followers. Seeing a small red circle at the top right corner. Someone requested to follow him. Opening the notification and seeing you. Slack jawed when he saw the sight. Screenshotting quickly and accepting it. Requesting you back, seeing an incoming call flash onto the screen. “Hey.” he smiled at your words, gulping his excitement. “I was hoping you'd answer.” You continued, ‘God, you are everything to me.’ he thought.

Obsessive!Choso who felt like you were finally letting him in. “I know I told you I didn't really like social media.” You started, ‘Yes. Tell me the truth.’ he thought, picturing you in your bedroom, closing your eyes in embarrassment. “I lied a little- I just post a lot of bullshit, nd i was embarrassed you'd see that and think ‘Jesus this person is so annoyinnggg’ that's why!” You laughed, making Choso smile. “Well let me see-” he said, putting the phone on speaker and scrolling through your account, like he craved doing for the past few days. Making approving sounds as you told him to look away. 

Obsessive!Choso who called your name, grinning ear to ear, “Yes Choso?” You replied, mimicking the serious tone he called your name in. He felt it again, he felt his mouth speak before his brain could catch up. “Don’t ever worry about me finding you annoying, ever. Okay?” opening his eyes in shock at his own words. Only making you mute yourself to let out an over excited laugh, cheeks in pain from how hard you were smiling. Unmuting yourself and having the courage to say something. “Promise?” You let out, fiddling with the drawstring of your hoodie. “I promise.” He replied, making you exhale harshly. “I want to punch you in the face.” You laughed, making him laugh through his nose. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, knowing the answer. “No. You didn't, and that's why!” You exclaimed. Rolling to lay on your stomach, shoving your face into your pillows. 

Obsessive!Choso knew that his attempts at brushing off your flirting weren't doing anything. He knew that the harder he'd try, the harder it would be to not flirt back. 

Obsessive!Choso who answered your request for a facetime, doing his hair in the bathroom. Seeing you pop up on his phone. “Heyyy” You started, furrowing your eyebrows when you saw him getting ready, “Woahhh, you got a date?” You smiled, seeing him look at you with a grimace. ‘Jealousy. Don't be possessive, I would never commit adultery. I only have eyes for you.’ he thought, scrambling with his hands before answering, “I have family photos with my brothers today. Thus-” He looked at the camera, his hands pointing to the ugly christmas sweater he was wearing. “This monstrosity.” He finished, making you laugh. Taking 3 pictures of him to tease him, but it didn't work. ‘You want pictures of me? Do you use them as your wallpaper too?’ He only smiled at the sudden flashes of white from his phone. “Send me pictures of the photos. I need to see the Kamo family in matching sweaters.” You smiled, picturing them all in the awkward style that was used in the 90’s. He squinted his eyes, already picturing your reaction when you'd see the photos. “I’ll think about it.” sarcasm filled his tone as he fought off a smile. 

Obsessive!Choso who put on his jewelry, all while you were propped up and watching him. “When do you get back again?” You asked, seeing him look at you whilst fixing his rings. “I was planning on getting back on the 6th of January. But I was thinking-” He smiled, “Of coming back on the 29th.” Picking up his phone and seeing you smile. “Good idea. Its been fucking boring out here. I forgot how many unstimulating people there were at this school.” You exhaled. ‘Say you miss me. Say it.’  

Obsessive!Choso who saw you post a photo of a book earlier. “And the reading?” he asked, putting his shoes on. “It's a little better- I picked up Gone Girl.” you exhaled, “Good choice.” He grinned, seeing you exasperate. “Controversial- I know, but I kinda see myself in the main character?” You confessed, making a chill run down his spine. “Not the whole- murdering and framing someone for crimes-” you laughed, hearing his silence. “I mean in the way she thinks, the way she connects things. It's intriguing.” You clarified. Making him smile, “It was a very good book. The movie too.” He smiled, picturing you being as insane as the main character, “God I loved the movie.” You trailed off. ‘This was fate. Are you telling me you feel the same way I do? In your own way- but still.’ 

Obsessive!Choso who saw you started posting two plates on a table in a restaurant. Wondering who you could be with. ‘All your friends are out of town, roommates too. Who are you with?’ wanting to ask you, but that wasn't his place. Not just yet. But that didn't stop him from scouring your following list, going through your tags. Trying to find who this person you were with was. But not even a hint was dropped.

Obsessive!Choso who sent you the photos of his family, as awkward as you pictured them. Noticing there weren't any parents, just him and his younger brothers. Calling him immediately and laughing, “Choso- you all look adorable.” You laughed, making him blush. “This is my new laptop wallpaper, I love these pictures.” You smiled, “Nope, that's not necessary.” Choso smiled, his tone full of embarrassment., But also feeling his chest warm. ‘Making me your screensaver, and telling me you love the pictures I'm in? Can we get married already?’

Obsessive!Choso who received a picture of your laptop, you acted on your words. The photo was your screensaver, not just on your computer- but on your phone as well. Your attempts to tease him only made him think that you love him as much as he did. And that's all you did, feed into his delusions and only fuel the fire that was burning inside of him since the first day he saw you. You felt like this break with him being gone was necessary. Necessary to step back and see how you really feel for him. Remembering you've only been friends with him for- if you were being generous, was a month and a half. True, you found him intriguing before you became friends. But you didn't want to risk it. Ruin a friendship with someone like him. Slowly reeling in the line you had thrown at him, becoming open to the idea of him being just a friend. 

Obsessive!Choso was on the flight home, a week earlier than he had planned- but Christmas was over. And he didn't want to be away from you any longer. Leaving his bags at his apartment before walking onto campus, small piles of snow around the doors of the coffee shop. realizing how much it really snowed. Reaching his hand for the door knob but pulling away when he hears his name being called. Turning around to see you, speed walking to him. The big coat you wore made you look like a walking marshmallow. Smiling when he saw your face, thinking of how much he longed to see you. The pixelated facetimes and photos you sent him not coming close to showing how beautiful you looked face to face. 

Obsessive!Choso who blinked and somehow opened his eyes to see the top of your head, your cheek pressed to his chest. Your arms around him, hands hesitating to hug you back at the shock. Feeling his hands rest on your puffy jacket, almost nervous to touch you. Nestling your face to his chest and murmuring “Missed you.” Pulling away and looking up at him with a smile, cold weather making his nose pinkish. “I missed you too.” He smiled, almost gulping for breath. Seeing you take a step back, smile on your face. Opening your mouth to say something, “There you are, I was wondering where you ran off to.” you were interrupted. A man coming up behind you, hand on your waist- almost pulling you away from Choso. Watching you lean into his touch- 'Um?' calling your name in his head, almost in anger. ‘Who the fuck is this?’ Seeing you smile while looking over at him. 

Obsessive!Choso who hid his irritation well, jaw clenched and eyebrows threatening to furrow. Seeing you scramble for words, “How rude of me- This is my good friend Choso I was telling you about.” You smiled, looking at the man who looked Choso up and down. Just with that, Choso knew this guy was using you. Just by looking at him. ‘I didn't know you were into pretty boys, older too.’ he thought, watching your eyes sparkle when you looked over at him. “And this- This is my… friend, Theo.” You beamed. ‘You didn't wait for me. But you also didn't give up on me completely. The hesitation at calling him your 'friend' tells me that.’ silence filling the air as you smiled, waiting for them to greet each other. “We were about to go to dinner, do you want to join us, Choso?” You asked. Seeing your 'friend' look over to you with a certain look on his face you only see in men who were expecting something more from a person. Sickeningly sweet smile on Choso's face when he heard 'Theo' speak, “He just got off a flight babe-” He started. ‘Babe. Babe? What an uncreative and unimaginative thing to call you, no wonder you invited me. He must not make you laugh, but that's what I'm here for. I'm here to make you see that this 'Theo' is nothing but a place holder. A place holder for me.'

-

pt 6 here

LET ME KNOW IF U WANNA BE TAGGED PLS ITS MY FAVORITE PART ( if u wanna be tagged without commenting pls just say sum like 'tag me continually' i don't wanna @ someone who doesn't wanna be @ ykno?

IM SORRY I ADDED ANOTHER MAN BUT PLS BE PATIENT I HAVE PLANS FOR THIS.......I wrote this today and was blushing and kicking my feet the whole time. Started at 12 pm, and finished at 3 am. I love doing this. alr writing the next part hehe

[jahayla-parker]

j j j j j !!!! cardan reacting to y/n wiping his kisses away as a joke hehe

Drama King : Cardan Greenbriar x Reader

Description: 2.8k wc, Cardan is a simp for his wife/reader and becomes very dramatic about her wiping away his kiss. Fluff

Warnings: simp behavior lol, Cardan drinking, minor angst if you squint

“Darling, have you seen my notepad?” Cardan asked, entering their library.

Y/n placed her palm against the page she was on in her book as she looked around her desk.

“The one from this morning?” She wondered.

She recalled Cardan utilizing his forest green gold-bound and embellished notebook during their brief weekly meeting with some of the folk of Elfhame.

Cardan hummed and walked to her, resting his hands on her shoulders as he began massaging them through the material of her gown.

Y/n shook her head before she tilted it back to look up at him, “No, I’m sorry”.

He sighed but nodded, perching himself on the desk next to her, “what are you reading, my dear?”

Y/n silently lifted the book up from the desk.

Her hand now pinched between the pages to keep her place as she showed him the cover.

Cardan squinted his eyes and formed an exaggeratedly disgusted look as he was the title: The Archives of Elfhame, Volume III.

As she lowered the book back to the desk, Cardan scoffed.

“We have far better tales than that rubbish,” He reminded her, waving his hand towards their massive collection of bookshelves.

Y/n chuckled, “I agree, but as Queen of Elfhame, I should really know this information”.

Cardan gave her a smug smirk as he whispered, “I have a better way to teach you”.

“Hmm and that is?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You'll just have to trust me” Cardan winked.

Y/n bit her lip, and shook her head to clear the unfairly attractive sight before her.

“Me, trust you?” Y/n pondered teasingly, “mmmm…yeah, sure”

Cardan crossed his arms over his chest and let out a loud puff of air, “I'm very trustworthy...”

Y/n raised an eyebrow at him, because while Cardan -like most of Elfhame- cannot lie, she knew her husband.

He was more than capable of twisting his words so they were vague enough or otherwise easily misinterpreted.

He chuckled softly, “well, when it comes to you”.

Y/n smiled and nodded.

It was true, y/n could always see through his lexicon manipulations.

She smirked and pretended to think about his offer.

Leaning back into her seat, she sighed, “perhaps when I begin to learn about trickery or the royal lineage, you can teach me, but for now I've got to learn this quick if I want to not make a fool of myself”.

“You couldn’t do that, you’re far too intelligent for that my darling” Cardan tsk’d.

Y/n chewed on her bottom lip as her eyes fluttered bashfully, “mm, I appreciate that gorgeous”.

Cardan blushed and stroked her check delicately, grinning at her.

Y/n hummed softly, leaning into his touch briefly.

She sighed as she pulled back, re-opening her book, “I really do need to focus though”.

Cardan pouted, swinging his legs against the edge of the desk; visually bored.

“Why don't you see if Roach or Ghost have seen your notebook?” Y/n suggested, giving him a small smile.

He seemed pleased at the idea, jumping up and giving her a soft kiss on the cheek before running off.

——

Y/n had finally started to get into a good pace, actually retaining some of the information when she heard her husband enter the library again.

She tried to ignore him, her eyes boring down at the detailed history on the page before her.

Cardan smirked to himself, silently approaching his wife and leaning his head down onto her shoulder.

Y/n suppressed a smile as he placed a kiss to her collarbone and left his lips there for a moment.

She took a deep breath to clear her head and then turned towards him.

“Cardan,” she sighed, “I need to focus”.

He groaned and frowned against her skin, “you can take a break”

“You know I can’t do that. I need to learn this before Friday” y/n argued.

His eyes skimmed the material and he whined, “but it’s boring”.

Y/n nodded, “I know, but still”.

He pouted but gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving to find a way to kill time.

——

A few hours had passed when y/n heard him enter again.

She rubbed her eyes, feeling them becoming exhausted from the constant strain.

Y/n waited quietly for Cardan to announce himself as she stretched her limbs.

But he didn’t say anything, just came up and wrapped his arms around her, over her chest.

She let herself sit like that for a few moments before the text on the page caught her attention.

As she tried to lean forward to resume her reading, her husband softly held her in place.

He smirked and placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Cardan” she whined playfully as she lifted her hand to wipe the slobber off her cheek.

He whimpered faintly, removing his hands from around her and stepping back.

“I really need to focus, no more kisses” she joked, still rubbing at her cheek.

Cardan pouted to himself and left silently, sulking out of the room.

Y/n turned to watch him leave, confused that he wasn’t trying to banter with her.

However, as she watched his overly dramatic exit, she lovingly rolled her eyes and returned to her reading.

——

Y/n slid the book backwards on the desk as she stood up.

Her limbs were strained beyond belief and all she wanted to do now was find her husband and curl up beside him to rest.

She grabbed the book and placed it back on the shelf, dragging her hand down the spine as she hummed.

She was finally done, she’d obtained what she needed from the book.

And now she could spend time with her husband, as he had wanted to earlier.

“Hey, have you seen Cardan?” Y/n asked Roach as she entered his office space.

Roach chuckled loudly, “your husband has been drinking”.

Y/n rolled her eyes, uncertain what was so funny about that, “what’s new?”

“Fair enough your highness,” Roach replied, chuckling when y/n groaned at her friend referring to her by her title.

“He’s been mopey and pouting whilst drinking” he added, a humorous glow in his eyes.

Y/n frowned slightly, knowing Cardan had been bored.

She knew it wasn’t her responsibility to cure his boredom.

Yet, she wished he’d have found something other than just pouting and drinking to keep him busy until she’d finished.

Nonetheless, y/n gave Roach a knowing look as this still wasn’t unusual behavior for Cardan.

Roach laughed and shook his head, “y/n, he doesn't really do that unless you're out of town”.

Y/n giggled softly as she recalled the times her husband would become exceptionally clingy when she’d return from a trip away.

“I’ll find him and see what's up, thanks” y/n responded on her way to check the dining hall.

——

Y/n suppressed a giggle as she entered the parlor and found the state her husband was in.

Cardan had his favorite gold-leafed wine glass in his shaky hands, the deep maroon liquid sloshing out from the rim.

She stood in the doorway, watching him curiously.

He seemed to be writing -or attempting to write that is- something important; his focus clearly displayed on his face.

She smiled, he evidently found his stationary at some point today.

“Honey?” Y/n called out softly, leaning against the frame of the door.

Cardan didn’t answer, just kept writing and accidentally dripping wine onto the table and papers as he did.

Y/n pursed her lips and made her way to him, bending down to see the notes in the candle lit room.

Much to her surprise, y/n found her name written at the top of each letter.

There were countless handwritten letters, and they were all addressed to her.

“Car, what’s going on?” She asked softly, placing her hand over his as he lifted the tip of his writing device from the paper briefly.

“You’re mad” he mumbled, setting his glass down before using that hand to softly move y/N’s off his other one.

“No, I’m not” she argued, pulling out the chair beside him.

Cardan didn’t answer, he just kept writing.

Y/n sighed softly, “Cardan, love, why do you think I’m mad?”

This time he finally looked up at her, his eyes glassy but it was hard to tell if it was from the copious amount of alcohol he’d consumed or his emotions.

Nonetheless, y/n hated seeing him like that.

Especially if it was because she’d done something to make him think she was mad.

She frowned deeply, reaching over and pushing the wine glass further away from them before taking both of his hands in hers.

“Cardan, talk to me” she requested, staring at him worriedly.

Cardan’s lips turned downward as his eyes flickered from the papers, to y/N’s eyes, to her cheek, then back to the papers.

“You wiped away my kiss” he stated, his voice laced with the tone of various emotions.

Y/n nearly choked on the smoke coming from the single candle on the table before them as her jaw dropped and lips parted.

“OH MY GOSH!” She exclaimed, dropping his hands and shaking her head, “you're so dramatic!”

“I am not” Cardan argued firmly, a weak glare sent her way as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“That's why you've been moping all day?” She clarified, laughing lightly.

She shook her head, “Car, you know when I'm mad, that's not mad”.

Cardan seemed to think over her words, his eyes shifting to the side as he bit his wine-stained bottom lip.

“Okay, I concede” he replied, looking back at his wife, “but, still, it was offensive”.

Her eyebrows raised as she dipped her head slightly, staring into his eyes, “are you serious?”

“Very much so, yes” Cardan affirmed adamantly, his chest puffed slightly.

Y/n rolled her eyes at his dramatics, “Ca-“.

Cardan stood from the table and kept his balance despite his legs being somewhat unsteady.

“I don't think you deserve my love or kisses right now, l'm sad to say” he declared in a rather formal tone.

She sighed, “Cardan,”.

And just like that, his formal behavior and verbiage were gone.

“Nope” he responded, dramatics back as he pointedly held his head high as he left the room.

Y/n massaged her temples with her thumbs before turning her attention to the mess of notes on the table.

“My dearest y/n/n,

I am terribly sorry for having annoyed you. Forgive me?

- Cardan G. 🖤 ”

“My Queen,

I know you need to learn of Elfhame’s history, but I need to give you kisses. Can’t we compromise?

- Your King”

“Y/n y/m/n y/l/n Greenbriar,

Okkkay so first, I loooove calling you that anyways, you cannot be mad at me for loving you. That is not fair. It’s also not fair to read all day and not be with me. I propose we find a way to make it fair

-Cardan Greenbriar, your husband”

“My dear radiant warrior,

I confess I don’t comprehend why you chose the book over me. I am far more interesting than it is. Am I not? I’m offended you don’t seem to think so.

Sulkingly,

-Yours”

“Y/n, miraculous love,

I forgot what I was going to write. Give me some time.

Oh, right. I’m disgusted that you dared wipe away my love. You could have yelled at me for bothering you. That I could handle.

I think.

But to throw away my kiss, that crosses a line. A line in my heart. And my heart. Oh you get the point.

I expect a formal apology to remedy this.

Expectantly Waiting,

-C.G. Your annoying husband”

“Oh Cardan” y/n sighed, giggling warmly at the letters that she would pin on their wall once the wine stains dried.

She rose from her seat, pushing it in quietly before doing the same with the one he’d occupied moments before.

Y/n blew out the candle, gathered the used and unused stationary, and drank the remainder of his glass of wine.

On her way to find him, she disposed of the unused stationary by placing it on his desk along with the now unlit candle.

She then set his sweet drunkenly written letters on the glass table in their bedroom to air dry.

One of their staff was passing by and kindly offered to take Cardan’s glass off her hands.

So now all that was left to do was to find her moping husband and try to console him; as dramatic as he was behaving or not.

She found him sprawled out on the lounge chair at the end of the hall.

“Cardan,” she whispered softly, “it was a joke”.

“My love is not a joke” he huffed, sitting up as his eyes landed on her.

Y/n sighed as she sat beside him.

Rubbing her thumb over his chiseled cheekbone, she clarified, “I never said it was Cardan. Me wiping away your kiss was the joke”.

He let his eyes wander hers for a moment before scoffing loudly, “it is disrespectful to your King, you know, to do that”

Y/n raised her eyebrow at him tauntingly, “and just how many girls are you going around kissing now your Highness?”

Cardan’s eyes widened as he shook his head vehemently, “I haven’t. None other then my heavenly wife”.

Y/n smiled widely as she felt her face warm, “that's much more like it”.

Cardan sat up straighter, grabbing her hand and playing with her wedding ring, “are you done pushing my love away?”.

She rolled her eyes but nodded, “yes, precious boy”.

Cardan’s cheeks flashed red as he grinned wickedly, “then let's go, my dear!”

Y/n felt him tug her hand as he stood up and began to stumble towards the front door.

“Where?” She giggled, following closely to keep him from falling over, “you’re half drunk!”

“Half sober you mean” he corrected with a smirk.

Y/n hummed moving to slide her arm around his torso to stabilize him more, “and where am I following your half sober bum to?”

“You'll see” he responded simply, a shimmer dancing in eyes.

——

After following him for a few minutes, y/n saw a picnic had been set up beside her favorite pond.

“Cardan?” She asked, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“Yes darling?” Cardan questioned, tenderly removing her hand from his toro so he could guide her to the blanket that was resting on the viridescent grass.

She looked around, her eyes taking note of all the little details he attended to, “what is all of this for sweetheart?”

Cardan sat down on the powder blue blanket, tugging on y/N’s hand to encourage her to do the same.

Her eyes wandered still as she sat before him and smiled.

“I know I was being bothersome earlier, so this is to amend that” he explained, opening the wicker basket beside him.

“Awe” y/n cooed, squeezing his hand as she looked away due to her eyes watering profusely now.

“I set it up before you were so disrespectful of me and my love” he commented, closing the lid to the basket as he pulled out one plate.

“So now I'm banished from it?” She asked, facing him again.

If it weren’t for the joking tone he could hear in her voice, Cardan would’ve -and still nearly did- leap over the gap between them to hold her.

“Of course not” he scoffed teasingly, his fingertips delicately dabbing the corners of her eyes as tears threatened to fall.

He wouldn’t dare joke about it if he thought the tears were anything other than happy ones.

But he knew his wife well enough to tell, and the fact that she was struggling to not smile in order to keep up her pretend offense didn’t hurt either.

“You’ve earned it back, for now” he smirked as he moved his hand and began setting some crackers onto the plate between them.

Y/n gasped dramatically, “oh thank goodness. I’ll do whatever I need to do to stay in your good graces, your highness”.

Cardan rolled his eyes, “and l'm the dramatic one”

“Correct,” she grinned, reaching over and squeezing the pointed tip of his ear before tapping the golden crown resting on his gorgeous curls, “my drama king”.

His jaw dropped and he shook his head but couldn’t suppress his wide smile, “I will take it”.

“Why's that?” Y/n questioned before Cardan slipped a cracker with a slice of cheese on it into her mouth.

“I am choosing to focus on only the being yours part” he admitted smugly, taking a bite of his own cheese and cracker.

Y/n swallowed the remanded of the snack he gave her and bent her back as she leaned forward.

“You're always mine and I have no problem fighting anyone I have to in order to keep it that way” she promised, grinning as his cheeks flushed.

“That won’t be needed my love,” he promised, arching his lower back to match her posture, his lips hovering hers.

“I’m fairly certain everyone knows I'm absolutely besotted by you” Cardan swore before closing the gap between their lips and pulling her closer.

Cardan Greenbriar Navigation

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[scoonsalicious]

Sigh. This is like watching a whole car crash that's about to happen. You know it's about to get so messy but you can't look away. First off, I'm glad the J names is catching up with everyone hahaha i didn't think I'd actually start a trend with that one. Second, I always read everyone's comments and ask after the parts, and I think I can safely say that I feel like I'm alone in thinking that there's so much more to what happened than meets the eye. I mean, everyone, including Pocket has all the right to be angry at Bennet because what he did was assholeish behaviour. But I really do feel like I'm the only one who's holding out full judgment against him because again, there's missing pieces here. I honestly think Joana has a bigger play in this than Brian did it. Like yes, he still had a choice in having sex with her, and yes the articles was a happy accident, but the things before that, I just know there's something she did to Boston, and while I have my theories, I can't have a clear idea as to what it was exactly yet. So, I'll just have to wait for Chapter 27 (it's seems so far away but god, time flies. I mean we're at Chapter 20 already). And I hate to add the technically about the cheating since it doesn't really matter, but i will reiterate that it wasn't the deed that was truly hurtful to Pocket, it was the constant lying.

Now let me get to the confrontation. While reading it, I'm glad Pocket stood her ground and set a boundary that there's nothing he could do to fix this because it absolutely is looking like that right now. And I did side-eye him a little with the crying and reasons he was spewing because accident? Really? I was getting slightly annoyed to when he didn't come clean right away either. And then he just kept promising things again and again and it's honestly just a cycle at this point. Because yeah, in order for his promise to have any validity, he has to fulfill them first, and so far? He's fulfilled none. He was getting pretty desperate in that closet. But I also can't blame him. I do think this is good for him though, because this is how he will truly see how much hurt he put Pocket through. But then I took a pause and realized how distraught he was, and yeah he's losing the love of his life, but I also have a feeling there's so much more as to why he can't say exactly what happened. I mean, not that Pocket has given him any chance but, I just can't shake the feeling that something else is at play here. And I can't wait to see the truth come out.

Now, onto Pocket's actions after that. Sigh. I don't agree with it at all. But I can't blame her either. Still, I just know that if something were to happen between her and Steveioli, she's going to regret it and she's going feel disgusted with herself because essentially, she's stooped down so low. I would've been fine if it was any other man but Steve? i mean, I don't hate him as much as you guys lol but I'm looking at the fact that he's your ex's best friend. And yeah, I'm all for petty revenge, but since I can't bring myself to fully be angry at Benson, I'm not all for doing the deed with Steve. Because for one, it's proving to Billy that his fears were right. Yeah, it going to hit him were it hurts, but who are we sure that he finally will understand the pain he's put Pocket through? What if this is just going to reinforce his insecurity because they've essentially been proven right. And I just know Jerald is going to milk this whole thing, I can already see her being the instigator and being like "See what I said. I told you I was right." And while Byron should grow some balls and not believe a word she saying, he's angry and hurt and insecure and fragile, he's bound to get manipulated again.

two, this is going to hurt Pocket more than she thinks. Like, the aftermath of this isn't going to be pretty, and I'm honestly just worried about Pocket because I really do feel like her actions in this is going to haunt her and is going to be much more harmful to her than she knows. I really don't want it to, but I have a feeling that if she goes down this route, something is going to bite her back in the ass and god, I'm so worried because she's been through enough. Basically, I'm just saying, this is going to do more harm to her than any good. Like sure, she's going to have the short moment of triumph and feel good with that revenge. But after?

Overall, I'm honestly can't celebrate anything that's been happening because I have a really bad feeling about everything hahaha like I'm just reading everything and sighing out loud. Like i just know this is going to blow up, so i can't even take in the small victories, if there are any. I'm glad Pocket is having fun and letting loose on her birthday though, and that she's feeling all the love from everyone because she does have great friends and she is very loved. She deserves to know that and more. But again, I have a feeling that it's going to be short-lived.

Again, amazing as always! I can't wait to see were you're taking us. I'm just here to enjoy the ride. Lots of Love!

— Jnon 🤍

My beloved Jnon, I'm sorry for responding to you so late today! Yesterday? IDK. The J-names a are vibe, and we're all feeling it, so thank you, you magnificent trend-setter. I appreciate you holding out judgement against Barnacle until all facts have been presented. Jif Peanut Butter's influence on his is definitely strong, and we'll see just how she manipulates him later on. Pocket is in for a pretty major downward spiral going forward and, at the risk of entering spoiler territory, not all of it is going to have to do with Bucky. His emotions when she called him out on his tryst with Joffery Baratheon were legitimate, but he's got to learn his lesson that words aren't going to fix things; his actions will (and I do feel bad-- he was trying so hard between when they first broke up and the Russia mission to avoid Jade, he really was, and he was doing so good, too; an genuine effort was being made!). And, Bestie, if you think Pocket sleeping with Steveoli would be "stooping down so low," whew boy! Just you wait! We gotta hit rock bottom, baby. Things will definitely bite her in the ass, and do much more harm than good for awhile. We're getting into some dark times ahead! Truly not a lot to celebrate rn; except for maybe Chapter 22, which is a flashback chapter, and some of my favorite writing, lol.

[sagau-my-beloved]

um i read through all of this and realised this was quite lengthy so cw: long request haha

hello! first of all, i love all your works and i've been binge reading them the last few days- they give me so much serotonin, i can't- and secondly, i have a request! no pressure or anything, but how do you think the diffeent archons (or anyone else you want e.g. diluc, kaeya, jean for mondstadt) would be like fighting for Creator!reader's affection because they want to be the only one to spoil them? venti would definitely be more clingy (literally grabbing-onto-your-legs-so-you- won't-leave kind of clingy) whilst zhongli and ei might be more possessive in a subtler way, like taking them out on long trips in their own respective regions! maybe zhongli somehow remembers that he can literally create mora and somehow remembers to finally bring his wallet with him (only when he's with you though? childe is not happy about this.) zhongli also probably takes up most of your day just talking about osmanthus wine ngl- ei would probably get teased by miko quite a lot for worshipping you so grandly but still doesn't stop because like... obviously you're the creator, how could she stop worshiping you (for eternity you may say *wink wink*) she would definitely not hesitate closing off inazuma's borders just for you to stay there with her, only. ahaha anyways sorry this wasn't so venti focused and that this request was so long, be as liberal as you want with it :)) remember to take care of yourself and drink water! :DDDDD

Archons fighting for the readers affection:

I can't believe I have officially been branded as the Venti writer— 💀 /j

I swear I write for other characters anon, you gotta believe me, no need to apologize for requesting non-Venti stuff, I promise

And here I am about to contradict myself by putting Venti first-

Warnings: general sagau, yandere shenanigans, vague descriptions of violence, manipulation, codependency, the works

-

Venti:

• So I have to start by saying all the Archons are going to play incredibly dirty

• Venti in particular isn't the type to try and keep you somewhere, unlike the other two—

• He's the God of Freedom of course, it would simply be hypocritical to keep you locked away in his domain

• He makes up for it by going everywhere with you, though

• He's simply desperate for your attention, enough so that he will deal with being away from his precious city if you would prefer to spend your time in somewhere like Liyue

• Might question you on why you would prefer to spend your time there though, is Mondstadt not good enough? Is there anything he could do to make it better??

• Hates hates hates you talking to other people, he gets such an unpleasant feeling in his chest when your eyes aren't on him

• Not above cutting other people off and making a bit of a scene when you're not at least conscious of him being in the room

• Might let you talk to people if he gets to touch you in some way while you're doing it

• Will make a show of nuzzling into you and holding you as close as possible to show the other person they're not nearly as important to you as him

• Will complain to you as soon as the other person is no longer visible, whether they're out of earshot or not

• "It's no fair, you shouldn't need to talk to anyone but me you know. Anything you need done I can do, and they can fix their own problems without you like they did before."

• You can practically hear the bitterness in his voice

• He might actually start hiding offerings you received from others, it's not like you need worship from other people when you have him

• Would never pass other people's offerings off as his own though, believes that he's above doing that and he can provide for you himself

• He's absolutely not above slandering others though

• "You were talking with Ei for a pretty long time earlier you know... I'm surprised you still regard her so highly when she was directly responsible for so many deaths of her own people. Is that something you admire?"

• You better say a very clear and concise "no" to that statement, otherwise you might just find a certain Archon following in her footsteps

• Of course he is willing to change how he acts based on your preferences, what kind of follower would he be if he couldn't do that much for you?

• You seem to like Zhongli a lot, would you like him to be more serious?

• You and Childe we're laughing together the other day right? So is chaotic violence more to your taste? Maybe a sacrifice or two is an order—

• You always seem to smile at the mention of Thoma, he can act like a spouse too you know, you only need to ask and he would gladly cook and clean and praise you with that sweet tone of his

• Venti has quite a bit of experience pretending to be other people, so feel free to tell him exactly who you want him to be and he'll be more than happy to oblige~

-

Zhongli:

• Polite and formal as always, he would certainly never resort to such an undignified display as his fellow Archon

• Prefers to simply just consume your time instead

• Oh you're free? Well, if it's not too much of a bother, maybe you could help him with some of his responsibilities, they just never seem to stop piling up

• Of course, that would keep you in Liyue for awhile, but it's not as if you would prefer to be anywhere else, right?

• His is one of the few nations that doesn't have a ruling Archon, perhaps you could fill that spot for awhile? His people would be forever grateful

• Liyue is always so busy, so much to do, so many problems that just happened to pop up unexpectedly, really it needs you

• And who knows Liyue better than its very own former Archon?

• He's more than happy to help, he wouldn't dream of letting you tackle this stuff alone

• And if some of these many problems require a more hands on approach, maybe stopping by a particularly fancy restaurant to grab something to eat on the way isn't a horrible idea

• He promises to pay, of course he could never force you to take up such a responsibility when you're already helping him so much as it is

• Oh, look, someone needs assistance down near the docks, and the sunset is just so beautiful from there, it would simply be a shame not to stay and watch, wouldn't it?

• And you're always so tired at the end of the day, running around helping people out, the oh so merciful God you are

• You certainly wouldn't decline him picking up the slack in that department, right?

• Of course you're staying with him, no question about it, and he's just so grateful at the opportunity to take care of you like this, away from prying eyes

• You're needed in Inazuma? Well that can't be right, surely Ei can take care of it herself, you can't just abandon these people that have grown so dependent on you here

• "I strongly urge you to rethink your decision. I understand its been a while, but you're needed here much more than anywhere else. Are you not enjoying your stay? Have I not provided enough for you to want to stay?"

• It doesn't matter if you say yes or no, the idea that you're having these thoughts in the first place is concerning enough

• So Zhongli will simply double down, you wouldn't dream of leaving if there happened to be slightly more dangerous and important crises going on, right?

• Maybe certain monsters are starting to get a bit too close to town, there's a stirring in the water that could mean trouble for the future, it seems as if the integrity of some of these old buildings is waning as you now have to deal with the result of more than a few unexpected collapses

• You've got your work cut out for you, there's no way you could even dream of going anywhere with the amount of trouble Liyue is being put through

• And Zhongli is always there at the end of the day, praising and providing, helping you relax from your incredibly stressful day in all ways possible

• What would you do without him?

-

Ei:

• Now she's certainly the type to be a bit more forceful about everything

• Inazuma is more beautiful than Liyue and Mondstadt combined, it's vast and different depending on where you are, what could you hope to get anywhere else?

• She's perfectly capable of providing anything you could desire you know, from food to clothing to scenery

• And if you really want something else it can easily be imported

• Ei is the only one out of the three that's still actually recognized as an Archon, she has more authority than both of them put together, she is obviously the most capable of providing for you

• So gtting in and out of Inazuma can still be considered difficult, and it's going to stay that way

• I mean, you're are already here, no reason to make you leaving any easier

• She takes pride in making it so that you don't have to lift a finger

• Now, she wouldnt go as far as to actually lock the room you're staying in, but she does want to know where you are at pretty much every given moment

• "Your grace? Why didn't you alert me that you were going for a walk? I went to your room and you weren't there. Honestly you gave me quite a scare, tell me next time and I'll accompany you ok?"

• You're kind of like her comfort place

• She has a reputation to keep up of course, so acting even the slightest bit soft in public isn't an option

• But around you she can strip that persona for a bit, slip into the role of the one who is cared for and not the one who has to care for so many others

• As such, Ei constantly tries to come up with excuses to see you, to pull herself away from work for at least some time

• The reason she ends up defaulting to about 95℅ of the time is gifts

• There were beautiful flowers outside that she just had to give to you, a specific dish was made exactly to your liking and it was going to get cold otherwise, perhaps the things you requested from way out in Mondstadt came in recently and she felt the need to hand deliver it to you

• No matter what the current excuse is, you're going to end up seeing her more than your fair share before the day is over

• She's a bit too stubborn, or maybe just too embarrassed, to out right ask for affection, but it's not difficult to pick up on the way her touches linger, how she looks at you in a way that can barely cover the heavy desire to lay some claim to you

• It annoys her immensely whenever others decide to act clingy towards you right in front of her

• You are a guest in her domain, it's incredibly unbefitting and disrespectful for them to lay a single finger on you here

• If her looks were as sharp as her sword, their hand would be cut off rather quickly, but she does manage to restrain herself in your presence

• That person is just rather lucky they aren't alone, or it would be a different story entirely

• As much as she hates you leaving, there is no way for her to outright forbid you from doing so, and suffocating you here would only cause you to hate this place, and, by extension, her, all that much more

• Doesn't stop her from keeping tabs on you whenever you aren't in Inazuma though, she has a large network of informants

• And if it looks as if you are in even the smallest amount of danger, she won't hesitate to bring you back here herself

• Back to safety, back to a place where she can keep a closer eye on you, a place where she can personally protect you

[hyungseos-cafe]

Pairing: Ex-best friend!Sunwoo x GN!Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning(s): Umm?? Get ready to fight Sunwoo 👊👊 He's a wee bit manipulative here.

Word count: 1.1k+

Summary: Sunwoo + Jealousy? Impossible! Sunwoo watches his friendship with you crumbles before him as he refuses to believe his jealousy got the better of him. Is he able to hold it all together or does he let you fall through the cracks of his ego? 

A/n: I don't really remember why, but this idea suddenly popped into my mind like?? Idk a few months ago and honestly I'm kinda shocked I actually finished this idea in less than two months lol

┊⋆ ˚✯✩. Songs to listen to while reading: Wish You Well - Jeff Bernet, Heather - Conan Gray, Good Grief - Sky .✩✯⋆ ˚ ┊

Taglist: @deoboyznet @zzoguri @from-izzy @quaissants (aka the biggest sunwoo enthusiasts🤌 i hope it’s okay if i tagged you 🥺)

You, the literal definition of perfect sitting in front of me, blinding me from the world. You were my world… Until our argument… Which I kind of started, but that’s besides the point. We never fight, so when we do, things don’t always end pretty. This is one of the cases where it all went sour and unfortunately I don’t know if we can recover. 

“Sunwoo, what’s your problem? Can I not live my own life too?”

“I– I didn’t say you couldn’t”

“You said I shouldn’t have friends because they wouldn’t be able to take care of me like you. Are you saying you’re perfect? I don’t want perfect friends, I want friends that are human, Sunwoo”

“I didn’t say I was perfect! I just don’t want you hanging around them”

That was when all hell broke loose; shoes, pens, vases and even clothes were thrown around Sunwoo’s room. Truthfully there was nothing wrong with those friends you had, I just felt like you were slowly replacing me with them and I got insecure, but of course I would never tell you that, because why would I?

“Oh so there’s a ‘them’ now? I can’t believe you Sunwoo! You have friends of your own too and I don’t say anything about them! Why is it suddenly different when I have my own friends? Are you j–”

“For the last time, I am not fucking jealous or whatever the fuck you want to call it! I just don’t like your friends, okay?” 

“See, you are jealous. Simple”

You gathered your things and started heading towards the door, sadness painted all over your face. I couldn’t bear to look at you, I even missed your silent “Bye Sunwoo” as you slowly shut the door to never come back. 

We’re just friends I kept reminding myself, but if we’re just friends, why does it hurt so much to let you go then? It felt like a void was suddenly created in my heart. Everywhere I look reminds me of you. You always liked the plump blueberries, the smaller ones were too sour and you always ate your cereal before it got soggy. Your lattes always had an extra pump of sweetener and your sweaters all had little holes in them from your cat. 

Three months, that’s how long it’s been since our argument. I haven’t been on social media these three months because your face was everywhere. We still had mutual friends you hangout with and every once in a while I would receive a message from them asking what happened between us. I didn’t have the heart to tell them I got jealous. Honestly, I had nothing to be jealous of since they were good people. They were always looking after you and would call me if anything went wrong. 

You would think three months isn’t a short amount of time, but in these three months I learned one of two things. One, you got a promotion and would be sent to the next city to work the lead role of your company. Two, you moved out of your apartment into the city last month and decided not to tell me. 

I know I shouldn’t be surprised considering how poorly we left things, but I think it may be for the best. I just can’t help, but feel bad with how I treated them. I shouldn’t’ve been jealous, but I was and that’s unfortunately where I’m at now. I’m alone in my own thoughts, the thoughts that pushed them away, the thoughts that cost me my friendship. 

It’s now 6 months now that you left when I received a postcard from you in the mail. It’s a photo of you and… Someone else, you look happy. My heart sank with guilt and remorse as I flipped over the card. 

“Hey Sunwoo! Sorry I left so abruptly, but I got promoted to a new position and was transferred to a new branch in the company. I also met someone, they’re really sweet; kind of reminds me of you! I hope you’ve been well! I’m actually flying back to see some old friends and if you’re free, i’d love to see you”

I was conflicted, why would you of all people want to see me? I left things on such a sour note and yet you want to see me? It’s now a few hours before I am meeting up with you. We arranged to meet at our favorite cafe, the one where we shared all our deepest secrets, yet the biggest one I hid from you is my love for you. 

“Sunwoo, you look good”

“Thanks, you too”

I forced my response because just moments before I saw you, you were holding hands with someone else. Someone that should’ve been me, but alas, I was too late and my ego blinded me from what was in front of me this whole time. 

“Thank you for meeting me here today, I was worried you wouldn’t show up. I mean considering everything”

“What do you mean by everything?” You sat there confused, did I say the wrong thing?

“Sunwoo, you were jealous. Were you not?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” 

“So you were jealous… Cool, I don’t need to know anything else since you clearly don’t care about me and what we went through” 

You rolled your eyes and began to get up from your seat, but I couldn’t let you go, not this time. I suddenly got the courage to reach over and gently pull your wrist back.

“Wait!” I got up and continued to hold onto your wrist as we exited the cafe. 

“I’m giving you two minutes Sunwoo so you better spill or I’m leaving” You crossed your arms as you turned your head, leaning on the exterior of the cafe.

“Just hear me out, okay? I wasn’t jealous I– I just…” My thoughts suddenly left me which put a disdained expression on your face. 

“See! You’re just proving my point Sunwoo. You were jealous. End of story, I’m leaving now” You began to turn around, heading to the end of the street before turning and walking up the hill to where you were staying.

“No! Please! Just hear me out!” I was out of breath having run up the hill, but you didn’t stop. 

There was no point. I fucked up, I couldn’t find the words to tell you how much life you added back into me. You were the light of my life and yet, I put yours out. Honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. You were my person, the person I went to for advice, the person I went to for comfort, but now I have to comfort myself. 

All those years of friendship are now over since I tossed everything to the side because I couldn’t suck up my jealousy. I never imagined myself to be the jealous type, but with you, you were different. I thought– No. I think– I don’t know. I have to find my own happiness, to find my own drive and maybe when you’re ready, we could be friends again. 

Until then, I’ll walk on my own.

[m00nsflesh]

I think Laufey would change her depending which Milo she has in her hands, just to be more fitting with them, I couldn't help myself but do this...I just love Milo so much!!

more info under keep reading ^_^

Pre-Milo: Laufey is a bit more overprotective to give Milo the idea of how much she cares about his well being. She'd do her "sweet girlfriend" role the best she could, by borrowing his clothes, try to cook (which ends up her taking him to breakfast/lunch/dinner somewhere) and pretend to be shy when he does things for her (she dislike to act shy but she sees how much it makes Milo try to act more like a boyfriend, it's cute in a way).

Laufey also doesn't mind driving him to places, all to make him feel special with her and her alone. She always speak sweet nothings to him and make it feel like it's a promise she's doing to Milo, maybe some of those sweet lies may be real but you'll never know. Laufey also loves to show a bit of PDA with Pre-Milo to proof she isn't playing around about being his girlfriend (if you want to break someone, make it real!/j)

Either way, Laufey and Pre-Milo can be a bit romantic and cute in a way if you ignore her manipulating him and gaslighting him.

Manipulation!Milo: once the change happens, Laufey changes herself once again, she let's Manipulation!Milo take the wheel for a bit, she doesn't mind him being the big spoon, she actually kinda enjoys it because it means he doesn't want her to get away, how he wants to have her all for himself.

She LOVES having him doing the driving and take her places now because she likes to have someone else doing that for her than herself doing to the others. Despite her not being into PDA with Manipulation!Milo, she's still do it sometimes to rile him up and do things for her, even being very touchy to him all because she loves to see him being a blushing mess and riled up.

Laufey and Manipulation!Milo are slightly equals and he knows what she tries to do with him sometimes, the same goes to her, both love to see how cute their partner is trying to do with each other and they usually resolve that in bed (sometimes)

Violence!Milo: between the changes Milo has, Violence!Milo is Laufey's favourite. Laufey is all about violence and aggression once you are able to see the real her and because of that, she does have feelings towards Violence!Milo for being that way. She loves to steal his clothes and use in college just to tease him. Her words for him can have some truth unlike the other Milos, she finds Violence!Milo her "almost" perfect love and she's fine with it, after all, he is now her dog bodyguard.

Because of him being her now "dog bodyguard" she loves to make him get into fights for her, that's the only time she'll show actual affection and love towards Violence!Milo, even lie to him about someone hitting on her to see hell go loose.

Either way, Laufey will also do things for him as such driving and taking him places and probably spoil him a little unlike the others, after all, she gotta make her precious boyfriend get affections from her alone to keep being a loyal dog.

In general: Laufey adores her Milos and seeing they becoming obsessed with her (and obviously yandere) makes her feel a genuine happiness with the idea of breaking them even more until they become a hollow version of themselves that desperate need her for everything.

[improbable-outset]

𝐀 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐑𝐞𝐝

Hank J. Wimbledon x gn!Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.7K (What the hell man?? Where did these words come from. I promise this was only supposed to be a snippet to the Yan!Hank I’m working on!!)

MadCom Masterlist | AO3 | 🅱️laylist

𝐓𝐖 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐖: Non-cannon Hank bc I said so 🤌🏽🤌🏽Yandere themes, Obsessive behaviour, some psychological horror, serious gore, graphic descriptions of injuries, injury marks during work, mental asylum settings, cursing (sorry can’t help myself) a brief description of mental disorders and slight manipulation at the end - please be mindful of the triggering content.

𝐀/𝐍: Okay, so I’ve got the Yandere themes from @saltymongoose head cannons here and here. (Look salty, I would submit this to you but I have no idea how submissions work) Of course, reader isn’t a Player! But a Doctor! I put my own twist to it so it will match the story line. Yeah it gonna be a little bit more… violent than wholesome. Also you don’t understand the amount of research I had to do to perfect this 😭 watching a documentary of inside a psychiatric hospital and read a handful of articles. Also after watching season 4 of Stranger Things I kinda grew an interest on asylum AU’s - I’ll give you a small spoiler for this fic quoted from the show ‘what have you done?’😟 (also want to thank @deimosed for those sweet words from my last Hank fic)

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After working your way up your career ladder, you’re excited to be offered a place in Nevada’s notorious psychiatric hospital as a full time psychiatrist. This is a massive opportunity for your career. But things aren’t so glamorous and rewarding as it seems when you start to discover the inside works of the hospital with their dark and twisted system to ensure everyone, especially the employees, abides by their extensive rules and policies. You start to learn that the hospital's high reputation may not be so organic. Meanwhile, you develop a secret admirer amongst one of your patients who will do anything to be alone with you and to have you for himself (and maybe save you) - even if it means breaking a few rules.

USE HEADPHONES FOR THE AUDIO.

I’d let these people bleed out if you told me you liked the colour red.

The janitors must’ve used some strong cleaning products again. Waking up to the bitter-sweet smell of disinfectant is not really the ideal way to start your morning. After a few inhales, it starts to get into your head and makes you nauseous. It’s not a scent that you would call ‘homely’.

Fortunately, it does fade as the day goes by but the pungent smell of old piss quickly replaces it by late afternoon and then the vicious cycle starts again in the morning. The sickeningly sweet smell really reflects the cryptic ambiance of the building.

But for patients like Hank, who has stayed in the hospital for a while, the stench doesn’t bother him. It does start to grow in you to the point where you forget what fresh clean air smells like.

Hank takes another glance at the clock for the umpteenth time in the last couple of hours. It was coming up to that time. He can feel his heart accelerating as the seconds pass by. Since he’s all ready, he can sit and watch in front of the clock until finally hearing those footsteps echo in the hall, getting louder as they step closer. Two nurses reach his room, both in their scrubs and ready to escort him out.

“The doctor wants to see you Hank, let’s get going,” the taller of the two says.

They both lead him to another room. This isn’t anything new to Hank. Having to go to the checkup rooms regularly to see the doctor was part of the routine. More footsteps could be heard and immediately he knew it was you. He has your footfall rhythm memorised. Even outside the checkup sessions, he can easily recognise you walking from a distance away. He watches as you make your way in - a warmth reflecting from your eyes with a smile.

“Nice seeing you early today Hank, did you sleep well?” Your voice is amplified over everyone else’s; it’s sweet, hypnotic and endearing to the ears.

All of his senses heighten as soon as you’re near (or as he watches you from afar). As you step closer towards the seat opposite him, he catches the familiar soapy aloe vera scent from you. It’s refreshing and it's definitely more pleasant than the sterile smell of the hospital. Whenever his session ends, he feels like he can still just capture the scent lingering a while longer the minute you leave the room. You’re just so fascinating with how you approach things and how you approach him.

You start to write on your clipboard the date and his name. Hanks eyes are stuck staring at your hand holding the pen. He secretly wishes that you would accidentally misplace or leave your pen one day in the room before you go to your next patient so he could keep it for himself - something that you touched and held onto everyday and probably has your sweat and fibre on it. But unfortunately, due to previous cases of patients using pens as weapons and poking peoples eyes out, doctors and anyone else using a pen has to make sure they keep them safe with them.

“Your mood has definitely improved in the last few weeks Hank, I’m pleased to see that,” your praise causes a wave of euphoria to surge through him. He wants all of your praises. All of the sweet words that come out of your lips. He knows he wants you for himself and wishes the nurses weren’t in the room with the two of you so he can be all alone with you.

The check up comes to an end and you finish it off with “I’ll see you next week Hank,” before you leave to go off to your next patient while he stays in the room with the two nurses beside him a little while longer. It’s easy to forget that he’s not the only one you’re caring for especially with how he’s so engrossed in the moment.

But the thought of you looking after other people besides him, giving them your attention and your time to them doesn’t sit right with him. Actually it enrages him. They don’t deserve you. You need someone who you can feel safer with. These people don’t have the facilities for that. The more he thinks about it, the harder his fist clenched to the point where the knuckles were turning white. Fortunately, he’s able to keep this heated anger in control quickly since he’s still on the fucking medication that slowing his brain .

But Hank is not going to allow their luck to run any longer with you…

Working in a mental hospital isn’t something that you nor your colleagues discuss outside of work. As far as people outside are aware, you’re just a doctor working and giving care in a private hospital. Confidentiality is strictly enforced - anything that happens in the building stays within the four walls.

You have to wear full sleeves to hide the bruises that you get from handling some of the violent patients. The nurses always have it worse since they do interact with them more but that doesn’t mean yours aren’t visible enough to raise some concerns. You do try to scrutinise the job and see the rewarding sides to it though, despite how exhausted you are already.

That burnt soreness on your tongue is still there from the hot coffee you finished just earlier and what's worse is that after rummaging through your work bag, you found that you’re fresh out of breath mints. Well shit then - you’re stuck with having coffee breath until your tight lunch break. Coffee breath was the last thing that you’re concerned about though, with the busy schedule you have today. You just completed the inpatient care and are now providing care to the outpatient department.

Your clipboard is under your tight grip as you’re filling in the details. Sitting opposite you is Peter, your last morning patient. He has a skinny and pale frame and just like most of the other patients, he has a buzz-cut hairstyle.

“So, it’s been a good month since I prescribed you your new medications for your schizophrenia. How has it been affecting you?” Your eyes are still glued to your clipboard.

“It’s been better than the old one, I don’t have any severe side effects,” Peter replied, possessing a strong southern accent.

“That’s perfect, but I will still need the nurses to check your blood sugar levels from time to time. High cholesterol is one of the side effects of this new medication,” You scrape your tongue with your front teeth briefly, trying to soothe the soreness as you speak while mentally reminding yourself to push through and that this is your last patient before your break.

Out of nowhere, the sound of someone screaming could be heard coming from a few rooms away. It's normal to hear some patients yelling occasionally whether it’s them resisting medication or their mood swings going haywire. After all, one of the biggest conflicts between patients and doctors is medication. But this doesn’t sound like someone was resisting. None of the screaming that you’ve heard sounded like this. This is more shrilling, you can almost hear the fear in their cry before it cuts off with crunching sounds and gargling despair and then it stops.

“Doc…?” Peter’s voice shakes as he speaks. He's now starting to hyperventilate - a bad sign that his anxiety is accumulating.

“Everything will be okay, I’m sure the nurses got it handled,” in truth, you were pretty tense yourself but you had to keep your composure and stay calm, for the sake of your patient.

One of the many vital rules that is heavily emphasised is that healthcare staff must leave their patient in a healthy and calm condition. Anything else is a sign of inadequate treatment and can result in a strike. You’re already on your first one and the punishment you faced was just about bearable. You can’t afford another strike on your record - the week has barely started. Really, that should encourage you to prioritise your patient but you can’t help but wonder what was going on out there. It doesn't help when you hear more screaming, this time it’s a masculine voice and you could just about make out what he’s saying before it stops.

“Please don’t hurt me! Where are the fucking nurses ah-!” There’s a painful howl before it cuts off silent again. You and Peter stay quiet waiting for any more disturbing sounds but the silent prologue for a full minute.

“Will it make you feel better if I take a look outside?” He nods, still staying quiet from shock. You’re not going to leave the room since you can’t leave Peter unattended, they’re watching what you’re doing in a control room through a monitor, so you just stick your head out the door and scan the wide hallways. Of course, you can’t see anything because it was coming from one of the other rooms.

The temptation of just leaving the room is drilling in your head. For God's sake, why would they be focusing on you and watching you do your job when they should be focusing on whatever the hell was going on out there?

It seems like they read your mind because the emergency alarms start blaring through the perpetual halls with red lights flashing. You’ve never heard the emergency alarms go off, not until today at least and that was enough for you to exit the patient room. You can hear Peter calling after you, asking where you’re going or what you’re going to do. You don’t really know what you're doing, you're just following these intrusive thoughts, jogging lightly and just hoping it’s not the worst. Whatever the worst may be.

There's more uncontrollable screams that continue to echo through the halls sounding more distant as it bounces off the walls but with still the same level of fear etched in their voices if not, more. The ringing of the alarm is still going off, sounding more urgent and louder. Your head starts to spin as you replay that one sentence in your head…

I’m sure the nurses got it handled.

You stop for a moment and look back at how far you’ve gone - Peter's room feels like miles away now when you’ve only walked a few metres. You have a sense of discomfort that seems to erupt inside you. A strong feeling that something was going to happen. Before you could turn back to continue you felt something hit the back of your head causing a sharp pain shooting through your skull. Your body collapses forward and slowly and you feel your consciousness slip away and vision fade into blackness.

There’s a sharp inhale before you feel your senses coming back to you slowly as you open your eyes. It took you a moment to gather yourself together and remember your surroundings. There’s no more screaming or alarms - nothing but the sound of your pulse hammering in your ears. The halls are still flashing red. Not good. Your vision is still a little blurry and your heads throbbing like mad. Stupid concussion. You still don’t know who the fuck just slammed the back of your head like that.

What’s worse is you don’t know how long you were knocked out but if it’s this quiet, something is definitely not right. What happened to Peter? Shit. With extra precaution and making sure you don’t collapse again, you lift yourself up from the floor and make your way to Peter’s room with wobbly steps. The room isn’t that far for you but your body is still weak and moving painstakingly slow. When you reach his room, you almost throw up at the sight inside.

Someone got to him before you could because now he’s on the floor with his mouth stretched open so wide, the cheeks are torn out. Despite Peter’s thin face and prominent cheekbones, you could still see the fleshy meat from his cheeks that had been plumped out. There was no way someone could do this with their bare hands. Some sick person must’ve used a metal instrument to rip this poor man’s face.

His arms and legs were completely popped out of their joints and dislocated. The crunching you heard earlier must’ve been the sound of bones joints snapping from elsewhere. His gown is now stained with blood from his mouth. You’ve seen a lot of gory scenes at your job but nothing like this. You can’t stomach the sight any longer so you leave feeling utterly repulsed and a little guilty that you can’t do anything. Why did you have to leave him alone? You were hoping the image would leave your mind but it’s already locked in making you feel queasy.

You don’t know where you’re going since there’s no lead and the screaming has stopped. There’s a feeling of emptiness and torment hovering around you as you stiffly walk through the halls, closing in on one of the ward rooms - you weren’t prepared to see inside so when you catch a glimpse of one of the patients on the floor, the squeamish feeling inside your stomach returns.

Inside you could see a few more patients on the floor, arms and legs dislocated as well as their heads being twisted until their necks were snapped. Their faces aren’t mutilated like Peter’s but you could see some of them have holes on the side of their heads where their ears used to be and are now replaced with a crimson pool that dripped down their faces and on the floor. Clearly whoever did this, wanted to get the job done fast.

Each room you pass, you see more and more limp forms littering the floor, not only patients but the healthcare workers there as well - doctors and nurses. It’s all out of control. There are bloody hands smeared and printed on the wall too. The more you continue to walk, the more alone you feel knowing that the people you care for and work with are gone. You feel like you’re surrounded by ghosts - spirits just floating around you. You push your way through the double door and make your way to the main reception, now fully bracing yourself for the worst yet to come.

Hank can feel the heated vexation across his face and the blood rushing in his ears as he gawks down at the last dead body with pride. He was sure that he managed to wipe out everyone in this poor excuse of a hospital. It’s not like it’s a big building so surely after 2 hours, he can wrap it up and call it a job well done. But it’s not complete until he finds you again. Find your sleeping form that is, since he had to knock the fucking day lights out of you. You don’t deserve to see what he did - he’s hoping you’re still knocked out before he retrieves you.

Before he could turn around, there’s the sound of the heavy double doors squeaking as you pushed your way with aggression. The hostility quickly melts away from you as you stare intensely at him, frozen in place from shock. Your mouth starts to quiver and Hank notices a few tears just spilling from your eyes.

“What have you done?!” Your voice breaks with distress. Hank steps a little closer, the metal pipe slips out from his bloody hands as he walks towards you. You’re always easy on the eye but now the glow that would always radiate from you is flushed out. The eye bags under your eyes is more visible now and the rims of it are now red from your salty tears. You look raw and Hank finds himself absolutely adoring this state of you. Probably more now than ever.

He still doesn’t understand why you’re so upset though. Why do you cry for these people? You didn’t mean anything to them. They just used you as a product for your intelligence and for their advantage. Of course you don’t understand that now but one day, you will be grateful for what he has done.

And that’s a promise.

Dividers by @maysdigitalarts

I usually rely on Grammerly to check my spellings and grammar but I’m literally typing this on my phone as I speak so there might be some errors.

[jasper-book-stash]

February 2024 Reading Wrap Up

I finished off my reading challenge with time to spare! So let's talk about the books I've read this month. I'm making this up before the end of the month, because I don't foresee myself finishing up my current book in the next few days.

Religious Text

None applicable.

1/10 - Why Did They Publish This?

A Book of Pagan Prayer | Ceisiwr Serith

This book sucked ass. Fucking Robert Graves in the bibliography, treating any "non-Abrahamic" (meaning not Christian, Catholic, or Jewish in this context) as Pagan-with-a-capital-P, a baffling usage of Zoroastrianism, using "Indian" instead of "Indigenous"/"Native American", misusing "shaman", the baffling choice to have a prayer that you need to use to prepare yourself to pray, sloppy editing, self-contradiction without realizing the author did that, and, dare I say, an overly-Wiccan syncretic approach.

I genuinely have no idea how it got published.

Hands-On Chaos Magic: Reality Manipulation through the Ovayki Current | Andrieh Vitimus

I damn near threw this one across the room within the first nine pages. Why are you citing a WHITE WOMAN when talking about hoodoo? Why is J K Rowling's Harry Potter book in the bibliography? Why does the bibliography suck overall?

2/10 - Trash

None applicable.

3/10 - Meh

None applicable.

4 to 6/10 - Mid-Tier

Witchcraft For Everyone: A No-Nonstense Guide to Creating Your Own Magical Practice | Sam Wise

I wrote my thoughts on this one in a separate post.

7 to 8/10 - Good With Caveats

From Sanctity to Sorcery: An Author’s Guide to Building Belief Structures and Magic Systems | Angeline Trevena

This is a perfectly passable book talking about religion and magic systems. But I still prefer Timothy Hickson's "On Writing and Worldbuilding" books and YouTube series (under the YouTuber name Hello Future Me).

Zendikar: In The Teeth Of Akoum | Robert Wintermute [reading challenge]

I'll admit, this one was a dredge to get through. I much prefer the short-and-sweet version of the story found through the WOTC website (or, even better, MTGLore.com). But hey, Nissa at least gets time to shine! She deserves something nice.

Memories & Memoirs: Essays, Poems, Stories, Letters by Contemporary Missouri Authors | Sharon Kinney-Hanson

This wasn't for a reading challenge, but rather, it was my book club book for this month (our theme was "biography"). I chose memoirs instead of an actual biography because I genuinely don't care about a lot of people who have biographies written about them.

But there was something...nice about this. It was nice, reading stuff by people like you in the place you live (admittedly 24 years ago). It's an experience I don't often get - not a lot of people set their stories in Missouri, and even less are from Missouri themselves. The best we usually get is traveling characters stopping to appreciate the St Louis Arch. So it was nice to be...seen.

Diadem: Worlds of Magic: Book of Names | John Peel [reading challenge]

This book has been on my TBR list for ten years, and I've finally read it. And it's pretty good! You can definitely tell that it's made for a particularly young audience (probably preteen at most, as the main protagonists are 12-ish) and is a product of its time (the mid-1990s). Baby (cough, preteen) Jasper would have gone hogwild over this, if they had bothered actually reading it when they got it. But to Current Jasper, it doesn't hit how they would have liked.

9/10 - Very Very Good

Snow White with the Red Hair, volumes 13-20 | Sorata Akiduki

Volumes 13 to 19 were 9/10, and volume 20 hit 10/10, but I'll just bundle them all together here. Snow White with the Red Hair is an ongoing manga series about a romance in a fantasy world (though notably, one that doesn't seem to actually have magic, merely fantastical creatures and plants). The main romance is a woman on the run from her home kingdom after her prince became obsessed with her due to her red hair, and the second prince of the neighboring kingdom, though neither really know each other when they meet. At this point in the story, they're fairly dedicated to seeing each other despite the woman working hard to be a proper royal herbalist (following her dreams) and the prince dealing with the politics of his older brother (who recently became king) and his land along with a dedicated loyalty to the woman.

It's surprisingly sappy and adorable, despite the fact that I don't typically read romance. These two characters and their friends have wormed their way into my heart.

Hide | Kiersten White [reading challenge]

Kiersten White is an author I recently started reading, and I absolutely adore her writing. In Hide, she captures the exact feeling of being a broke queer person in a conservative small-town and the danger that comes with it. Along with a more supernatural danger.

Can't Spell Treason Without Tea | Rebecca Thorne [reading challenge]

This is a damn fine story with damn fine characters, a loving and already-established relationship (where there's no "will they break up" drama), and a fascinating set of magic systems. My only real complaint here is that the stakes are much higher than what I expected from something marketed as "cozy fantasy". The settings and vibes often were more cozy, but there were higher stakes than what I expected, what with the dragons and the queen and- Well, it was a good book. It was inspired by Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree, but don't expect the two to be the same.

10/10 - Unironically Recommend To Everyone

Well, everyone who's into the genre these fall under, at least.

Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe | John Boswell

This is an incredibly in-depth look at exactly what it says it is - same-sex unions in premodern Europe (stretching back to ancient Greece and Rome) with comparisons to opposite-sex unions of the times. If you're interested in one or both sides of those, pick it up. Just be ready for the long haul; this book is 464 pages long and has multiple appendices.

[tomionefinds]

Hi, do you have a fanfic where Hermione and Tom HAVE a child together, and this child have a big role in the fanfic and he is not just in the last chapters. Secondly I would like if in this fic Tom would be evil, possessive, dark and abusive father/husband to Hermione/their child.

Hi Anon:

We have not been able to find a fic that meets these full parameters. Here are some fics which are close. - Haus

Shared Flame by LadyMiya

M| Complete | 311k

It all started when two normally clever individuals both had a really lousy day.

The Contract by LadyMiya

M | Complete | 151k

Greetings Wife; Imagine my surprise when I found out I was married. I am convinced you all have some clever plan behind it. However, make no mistake, I will not let myself be played. - Voldemort. Rated M for a reason. Read warnings.

gloss by peppershark

E| Complete | 93k

"Hermione.” That low, effortless bass thrums in her ear. Coaxing. Sweet as novocaine. “I wanted to explain.” Her glossy lips peel into a sneer. “Fuck off.” A high-school stalker AU set in the 2000s: heavy on possessive!Tom, dark romance

For something a bit different, with a baby Tom Riddle, and a manipulative Tom Riddle, Sr and a time traveling Hermione:

In the Bleak Midwinter by TheLoud

T | WIP | 272k

After escaping from Merope in London and fleeing back to Little Hangleton, Tom Riddle had thought he was free of witches. He wasn’t expecting yet another witch to turn up on his doorstep. This one seems different, but she too smells of Amortentia. Can he trust her when she tells him that she has brought him his baby from a London orphanage?

*****

EDIT:

Reader @haruspicina suggested that Yes, Minister by NerysDax fits this bill quite well. Thank you! -Haus

[l1tw1ck]

Mine, Yours: Completely

Maybe he isn't such a bad guy

FTM!Yandere!Ajax x Top!Male Reader

Part One: Yours Mine

Warnings: Non-Con or Dub-Con, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Oral, Skin Carving, Mentions of Murder, Smut

Notes: ik u can't actually ejaculate w bottom surgery but just pretend 😭

Words: 1,044

──────────────────

You don't know how long it's been since you've been taken to some mostly empty room, save for two chairs and a small table. Ajax has been taking care of you during your 'imprisonment'. Feeding you, talking to you, bathing you...

It's uncomfortable.

The only emotions you've felt here are anger and sadness. Without your vision you've been feeling like shit.

You can't even appreciate the love Ajax is giving you.

"(Name)!" Ajax waves, turning the lights on and coming into the room with your favorite meal. He places it on the table in front of you.

"When are you going to let me out?" Your wrists were restrained on the chairs so you didn't escape.

Ajax's smile falls. "When you love me."

You scowl. "Someone will find me."

"Many people have been looking for you actually,"

For the first time in Rex Lapis knows how many weeks, you felt hopeful.

"My men and I have killed every cop and detective that's come close to figuring out your location. Having spies and connections comes in handy."

You freeze. "You're...fuck, you're lying!"

"When have I ever lied to you my love?"

You stare at him, trying to think of a time he's lied. "...Never."

"So believe me when I say you won't be getting any 'help'." He puts air quotes around the word help. "However, if you're good, I'll let you run free around the house. I have guards to prevent you from escaping, so all you have to do is be a good boy."

It's not like you had the energy to run away. You wanted to at least have your vision back. You wanted your hope back.

Ajax could tell what you were thinking about. After ages of studying you it's like he could read your mind.

"Once we get married, I'll give your vision back."

Your eyes widen. "Seriously?" You were in disbelief but pissed at the same time.

He nods, the smile he had on previously reappearing. "I promise." He locks his pinkie in yours.

"Why...why should I love you?"

He removes his pinkie and holds your hand in his. "I will make sure you're happy for the rest of your life, I'll give you whatever you wish for."

"What if I wish to leave you?"

He grips your hand, not hard enough to break it but hard enough to make it hurt like hell. "That's something I can't grant."

"It hurts."

"You can't leave me, (Name)." Ajax grips your hand tighter. "I'd kill you if you did. Then I'd kill myself after."

"Til death do us part, as they say." You mutter.

"Don't say it yet, save it for the wedding." He winks.

"Guess it's cold now." He looks down at your food. "I'll warm it up."

──────────────────

"Good morning, darling." Ajax smiles.

"Morning." You reply. It was never a good morning in this isolated room.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, walking towards you with a knife.

"F-fine.."

He pulls your shirt off and ghosts the knife along your torso until he reaches your lower stomach.

"What are you doing?"

"Carving my name into you.."

You brace yourself for the pain, hissing as he starts to write the first letter. "Fuck-"

A, then J, then A again, then X. You were biting your lip so hard it started to bleed.

"Are you okay, love?" Ajax looks up at you, a scary look on his face.

"Ajax- please.."

You calling him by his real name pulls him out of his trance, a small brush forming across his cheeks. "That's right...that's my name." He drops the knife on the floor. He pulls your pants and underwear down, resting your soft dick on his face. "I love you, (Name)."

You couldn't lie, he looked good like that. Your dick twitches, hardening a little bit.

Ajax drags his tongue along your shaft, metaphorical hearts in his eyes as he reaches the tip. "So good...taste so good.." He mumbles, licking up your bitter pre cum.

You watch helplessly as he devours your dick whole, clearly excited to make to you come in his mouth. He fingers himself, moans vibrating against your length.

"Ajax.." You murmur, bucking your hips up into his mouth. "Gods...Ajax.."

Ajax comes with a loud moan, unable to stop himself with the way you were saying his name. You follow shortly after, groaning as you fill his needy mouth with cum.

Ajax makes sure he swallows everything before moving away. He pulls his pants down before climbing onto your lap and jerking you back to hardness. "I'm not done yet.." He smirks, lowering himself onto you.

Now that you were fully conscious and sober, you could really feel how good he felt. How warm his pussy felt wrapping around your cock.

"I...fuck, I love you too, Ajax." You were pretty much thinking with your dick when you said this. Having someone like him as a lover doesn't seem so bad.

Ajax stops, eyes widening and face flushing red.

You thrust upwards, too horny for him to stop.

"Uuh~!" Ajax cries out, gripping his arms. "Wa- Wait~!"

"Take them off." You growl, referring to the restraints on your wrists.

"Hnngh~ key~ pants~!" He shakes his head.

You slow down, letting Ajax get the key from his pants. He scrambles to unlock your restraints, hands trembling as he gets them off.

You grab his sides, moving him up before slamming him back down.

He screams your name, moaning in euphoria as he comes from your roughness. "More~!"

You curse under your breath, reaching your peak. "Ajax~" You repeat his name with each thrust as you get closer and closer.

Neither of you could even think properly anymore, you were lost in each other's presence.

You still had a ways to go but you started to become more compliant for Ajax. You let him show you how much he loved and cared for you. He told you about all the people who wanted to hurt you and how he protected you.

You started to think, maybe what he's doing isn't so bad. Maybe he's doing it to protect you, because he loves and cares about you. He's not a bad person at all.

Even if your friends think so, Ajax hasn't done anything bad. He's not crazy, he just loves you.

[toxicanonymity]

Naaaah cause I’m a special kind of twisted I read the latest raider fic and I was like 😳…🤭 like it was so fucked up but like OMG AHHHHH the Stockholm syndrome lol. But yeah good job ur super dark fics r definitely my guilty pleasure. Him carving his name into her chest JSSKNSJEKWKSKS like it’s so bad but it’s so so good💀 I like imagine him going on runs and finding her jewelry as a way to manipulate her and make her think he’s treating her well teehee

Thank you and omg the jewelry, I love that!! Maybe he will!! 🤭 Why did I kinda think it was thoughtful in the prev. chapter that he grabbed her some underwear (basic necessity) at the last house even though he wouldn't let her wear it yet lmaooo. Idk if that's because thinking from Raider's POV just being clueless, convincing myself I treat her well, or if I'm thinking from reader's stockholmed POV and convincing myself he's sweet 😳 Either way ridic lol.

Raider: J. Miller (5/19) \ Raider Master List

[flattenedcat]

Oh man. It's ass o crack in the morning and I can't sleep because of stupid brain dead fans and insane misinformation.

Incoming rant from a renheng shipper who frequents tiktok that enjoys ships that aren't just green flags or whatever.

Lowkey hate myself for getting obsessed with hkr and renheng. The amount of people who misunderstand lore or that the characters in question have an insane amount of MEMORY LOSS. Also, why are hoyo fans so obsessed with hating on queer ships and spreading bs about them, like bro chill it's just a game and we're all gay fuckers who like to see other gay fuckers in love. It's fiction, seriously who the fuck cares lmao.

Some of yall are just homophobes in disguise who hate any sort of gayness even when it's implied or just theorized. Meanwhile hoyo is trying desperately to get past the censorship and hide the gay while also shoving it down our throats lol. (Aka that typo stuff or whatever. Idk what happened there but why's that your first thought...?)

Ughhh I really need to delete tiktok, I can feel my brain losing cells at a rapid speed. I type renheng and 7/10 videos are just hate. Like bruh don't use the fucking tag you absolute bitches.

Ohhh they're so toxic or whatever. Danheng is traumatized because Blade keeps trying to kill him (...points at canon...lol). First of all, baby that's true love. Joking but like renheng is also very much classic danmei. Lovers to enemies to exes to lovers but slightly deranged. Also very very j*ongdok coded. Oh and now people hating on enemies to lovers trope just cuz they can't stand renheng for whatever reason. Saying stuff like what chemistry or how could they ever like each other, they are trying to kill one another. Like pause. Focus. ENEMIES. TO. LOVERS. ENEMIES ENEMIES ENEMIES. It's not going to be a walk in the park fucking dumbasses.

It's basically friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to enemies to scorned semi-amnesiac exes to lovers again if that helps ^-^. We in the divorce arc now but no one knows lmao, not even the two fuckers in question themselves.

I genuinely don't understand why people are so fixated on hating ships that are 'toxic'. Sure happy good queer ship representation is important. But like, to be brutally honest, I prefer angst and complex, complicated dynamics. Just let us have both, no need to insist that everyone be the pinnacle of morality. That's boring lol. Sure h*artstopper is amazing, but also fucking love h*nnibal too. Imo these the same bitches that want to censor ao3. Let the gays have their toxic shit too, not everyone wants straight fluff.

Also. Hsr is pretty dark when you think about it. At least, from the perspective of someone who only has general knowledge of g*nshin i*pact and just reads funeral man x foxy dude ao3 fics, I was not expecting the deaths of actual people. Like the xianzhou arc had probably the highest body count, with scenes of people literally taking their last breath and not just in the actual gaming part. It's gonna be a bit dark babes.

This goes for jingyuan too. Like i saw someone comment that they're upset he was sorta manipulative during the dragon arc thing. And um sure, but also bros an old ass general who also looks into the future with the divine something. But main point. GENERAL. Sorta his job babes. Mans not going to be some 1D soft uwuu boy. But he's also impartial where he can and perhaps shouldn't be. Tbh hoyo fans should be happy at how complex these characters are.

Sidenote. I find that I cannot stand watching people play games anymore. Like wdym you're talking over the damn cut scene that's significant and/or looking away. Bruh, this isn't a pure battle game, it's heavy on the story so where the fuck is your goddamn attention. Talking bs like oh idk what's going on but they don't read the dialogue, check out the databank/bookshelf, watch the short videos hoyo puts out, or even, just even FUCKING EXPLORE. Some ass I watched just walked straight past vital info, running their goddamn mouth and was then like, broo I'm so confused what's going on?!? Genuinely, if not for the story, then why are you playing? The combat is fun, sure, but it's not like the most riveting thing ever, so why do people not pay attention????

I feel faint oof.

I don't even care if renheng isn't canon and we're all fucking delusional. I'm just annoyed for a varied number of reasons that are triggered everytime I open the devil app that is tiktok...also I feel sorta sad for spoiling 1.3 for myself but also half of it was already spoiled because of tumblr+tiktok having spoilers like the fucking devil himself and also also i feel better/insane that i know like 75% of what's going on.

(Do i need to censor the other names/fandoms? No idea, but might as well ig)

[e-thonrudwrites]

Writblr Introduction

I’ve seen so many writblr introductions that I wanted to do one!

P.S., it’s a long one.

So I got into writing (as a hobby, even though I’ve always loved creating stories as a kid) thanks to an old bully of mine in Swedish eighth grade. I wrote my first queer characters, in my first English WIP ever. It was a fanfic/AU of She-hulk and other Marvel characters, and of course I posted that bad boy on Wattpad and think it got 80k views over the year on something I’ve never finished. I remember being so nervous about making my FMC fall in love with another woman and for them to care for each other. In retrospect, it probably had to do a lot with trying to figure out my sexuality. But as soon as I did it I felt such relief, and I’ve never looked back on writing straight MCs.

But how does this connect with my writing journey and who I’m today? Well, I’m 23 yo, and my English is better, and that’s coming from someone who’s dyslexic, heck I think I can spell better and have a more advanced language in English than in Swedish which is ironic that it’s my native language. But genre wise nowadays, I write MM Romance in a bunch of different sub genres: romcom, fantasy/sci-fi, thriller, and a bit of horror. And ever since my disability progressed, I’ve tried to incorporate disability in my stories — have bad ass characters that just happen to limp. It’s not the end of the world and that’s what I wanna read.

Which is the most important thing I learned as a 16 yo kid posting on Wattpad and getting the social anxiety and burnout of posting there. Write for yourself. Write what you wanna read. Which has made me connect so much more with my stories and characters, especially when writing a WIP as RUINS OF DAWN and letting myself lean into the darkness I’ve always enjoyed as a kid.

But one of the negative things I know my bullying has affected me in is I know no one’s gonna care about what I write because I’m who I am. Because I’m me. And that’s why it took me so much time in to figure out that I can, and I’m allowed to send queries to agents. That just because I’m me doesn’t make it that anyone else who’s ace, queer, and/or disabled can’t connect with the characters and see a glimpse of themselves. Because that is what RUINS OF DAWN is for me. It’s a book for my 15 yo self that loved all the grimy and gory stuff, who was not feeling good or understood why I was feeling like this around people. Though RUINS OF DAWN is not for people under 18, but if I know myself, a bit of blood and spicy scenes wouldn’t have stopped me. My favorite and comfort movie is WARM BODIES. A damn zombie movie, though the books are more horrifying.

So what is RUINS OF DAWN then? Well, it’s the WIP I’m currently laying all my focus on getting done and ready for beta reading, and the one I’m gonna try to query.

RUINS OF DAWN is a dark sci-fi romance thriller, set in 1962 after the Cubs crisis has gone nuclear. It follows Ed Johnston, our Time manipulating protagonist who gets forced by the NTIA—an organization created by the President to watch supers (Psst, think of an organization corrupted like the TVA from LOKI)—to meet the Director, and where he meets his ex-lover the waiting room. It’s enemies-to-lovers, second chance with similar horror elements as Isaac Marion’s THE BURNING WORLD.

#ownvoicesdisability #ownvoiceschronicpain #ownvoicesqueerness

Comp-titles for RUINS OF DAWN: V. E. Schwab’s VICIOUS, Amal El-Mohtar THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR, Greg Rucka’s THE OLD GUARD, MOONKNIGHT (2022), DEADPOOL (2016), L. J Hayward’s WHERE DEATH MEETS THE DEVIL, Isaac Marion’s THE BURNING WORLD.

So if you like the X-MEN, THE WATCHMEN or anything to do with superheroes and time loops and time travel, then I hope you’ll follow me on my journey to get this bad boy published.

Also, I’d gladly get to know more writers. My life is definitely lacking writing buddies, because authors supporting other authors is the best thing ever.

[minileena-sfw]

Zookeeper - part 14

CW: Manipulation, suicide attempt, political discussion, brief mention of sexual assault

So… CW list a mile long. BUT! This is still one of my favourite chapters I’ve written of this story. I really hope y’all like it 🥰

If you maybe aren’t comfy with reading it, a summary can be found here. Enjoy!

prev

I was rudely awakened to the sound of a phone ringing.

I supposed that one of the few good things about living in a zoo is that you get to choose your own sleep schedule. Sure, you’d get the occasional person flicking the glass early in the morning, but the ringtone of the phone was, honestly, considerably worse.

With a huff, I sat up on my pillow and watched as Evelyn reached forwards to answer the call.

The human had set me up on the floor, in front of her nightstand. She let me sleep on a spare pillow.

I… had conflicted feelings about her.

She was my tool for escaping. She was my friend. These two facts could and did remain true at the same time. I was slowly working on letting my guard down, relaxing myself into conversation and trying hard not to intentionally choose the responses that would benefit me the most.

I hated that I was still aware of them, though. Because yes, with every single sentence I spoke, I knew what the correct thing to say would be. I knew precisely what vocabulary to use to elicit the responses I wanted. I didn’t think I would ever stop being aware of that. The best I could do was to choose the responses I wanted to choose, regardless of whether or not they’d be the most beneficial.

I think I’m slowly getting better at it.

Evelyn answered the call with furrowed brows. “Jasper?” She put the call on speakerphone for me.

“Evelyn, what the hell were you thinking?”

Fuck.

“I… what? What do you mean?” Evelyn asked, with a painfully obvious hint of concern in her voice.

“I got called in early to deal with the mess you and your parvinnet left here. I’m betting you’ll get a call from Bonnie pretty soon, too.”

I had just started working on treating Evelyn like a friend, too. Now she had to become a tool again. Fucking Jasper.

Okay, so… loyalties. Evelyn tried to cover for me on instinct. That was a good sign. If her feelings towards me and her employers hadn’t changed throughout the last three weeks, then I was pretty safe. I didn’t have any guarantee of that, though, since throughout the past three weeks, I haven’t been able to work on strengthening her resolve to free me due to being constantly surveilled. If those feelings hadn’t degraded, though, she’d value me and my freedom over her job. Would she deal with being arrested for me, though? Legally, I am the property of the zoo, and I’m valuable at that. She committed a theft for my sake. Would she give me back just to get out of being charged?

“I… J-Jasper, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Oh, sweet Evelyn. It’s time to give up now. We can’t lie our way out of this one anymore.

“I listened to the whole conversation you had with it,” Jasper sighed, exasperation dripping from his voice. “You helped it get out. I heard you talking about the cameras—and for the record, yes, the cameras wipe footage every twenty-one days, but they start indexing at zero, not one. You made your move a day too early.”

I supposed she was already caught red-handed. Hopefully she’d agree that there was no need to bring us both down if she had already been exposed. And she respected me enough to not hand me over for something as small as a more lenient charge, right? But what if she would, for example, be fined if she handed me over and arrested if she didn’t? How deep did the loyalty go? I supposed that this was only relevant if rational thought were a factor, and I could absolutely just manipulate the situation around that. Evelyn was in panic mode right now, and I could exploit it if necessary—tell her to let me go now, promise to meet back up with her later. If I stress urgency, she might make a decision before thinking about the ramifications of it, and I could remove myself from the situation before she could realize that she’d be fucking herself over by letting me—

“Don’t worry, the footage is gone and I’m not reporting it,” Jasper sighed.

I…

Huh.

…What??

“Don’t know what the fuck was going through your head there, but I’m not super inclined to let you get arrested,” he continued. “Obviously if someone questions me about it I’ll throw you under the bus, which you deserve for being a fucking idiot. Oh, and by the way, you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Prick,” I muttered to myself.

“Is that the fucking parvinnet on the line!?” Jasper hissed.

Evelyn gave me a look.

“I didn’t think the mic would pick that up!” I protested. “Besides, it’s not like it matters. He already knows pretty much everything, the only thing that changed is that he knows where I am now. I guess the worst he could do is come over and kidnap me and then bring me back to the zoo, but that would barely even benefit him, so I think we’re fine.”

“I can’t believe you let a goddamn rodent talk you into committing a felony,” Jasper groaned.

“I’m not a fucking rodent,” I spat. “And now that I can finally talk back to you without consequences, fuck you. You are the biggest piece of shit on this god forsaken planet, and I will spend the rest of my life praying to any god or deity that will listen to make your every waking moment a living hell.”

“Christ, Layna,” Evelyn breathed.

“Oh my god, you named it,” Jasper muttered.

“My mother named me,” I spat back. “The last time I got to hear my own fucking name was as she and my sister screamed it at me when I was ripped away from them and sent to spend the rest of my life in a cage with the world’s worst company.”

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Jasper huffed. “I’ll cover for you, Evelyn, but I’m coming over later so that we can have a talk about this. You’re my friend, and I’m genuinely worried about you. I would say that we’ll talk at work, but Bonnie’s pretty pissed and she’s definitely gonna fire you, so I guess I’ll come by this evening. And then we’re gonna talk about… god, we’re gonna talk about how you made friends with a wild animal and then let it talk you into breaking it out of a zoo.”

“I’m assuming this is non-negotiable,” Evelyn sighed. “Fine. See you in a bit.”

“One last ‘fuck you’ for the road?” I offered before the line went dead.

“Oh my god I hate him so much,” I sighed. “That felt so good…” One more deep breath. “Anyways, wanna prepare what you’re gonna say for when he comes?”

Evelyn held her forehead in her palms, elbows propped up on her knees as she hunched over. “Why would I need to prepare? I don’t need a script, I just need to be honest with him. Make him see who you really are.”

Hoo boy.

My poor, naïve Evelyn…

“Alright, how do I put this,” I muttered to myself, eliciting a cocked eyebrow from Evelyn. “Have you ever tried to talk someone out of bigotry on Twitter?”

Evelyn’s brows furrowed, her expression ripe with confusion. “I… what? What does this have to do with anything?”

“I mean, I thought it was a pretty clear comparison, but I guess I’ll go a little slower,” I huffed. “When you spend three and a half years with literally nothing to do with your time aside from watching people, you get pretty good at figuring out what makes said people tick. And, y’know, I’ve spent more time with Jasper than I have literally any other human, so I know what pushes his buttons pretty well. I used to just use it to piss him off because it was funny and I didn’t exactly have an iPhone in my cage, but apparently the knowledge is gonna be useful today.

“Jasper does not respond to sympathy. You heard him shrug off that little comment I made about my sister like it meant nothing to him, didn’t you? I tried that angle with him for months after I was first caught. It got me nowhere. Then I tried the logic angle. It also didn’t get me anywhere. I tried to open up discussions with him, try to really, genuinely get him to ponder the definition of personhood and sapience like you did after, like, three days of knowing me. It didn’t work.

“Jasper doesn’t define personhood in those terms. He doesn’t think of what defines a sapient being worthy of rights and respect by things like logic, reason or emotion. He defines ‘a person’ as ‘a member of the human race.’ There is zero wiggle room, no matter how many sob stories I feed him, no matter how much I point out how illogical it is for him to completely disregard my speech capabilities and obvious level of emotional and personal nuance. You can’t talk him into it. His beliefs are set in hard-cast stone. Hence the comparison to a MAGA nutjob on Twitter—you can tell them that Trump has a sexual allegations list a hundred miles long and has literally been held liable for it, but they’ll just spit in your face and say that it doesn’t count because it was a civil trial and not a criminal one. You can continue on that thread, pointing out other horrible things he’s done, his racist practices, his political blunders, etcetera, but they don’t listen to facts and reason. They are pro-Trump and no amount of yelling and screaming and showing facts and articles and lawsuits is going to change that.

“So the approach we’re gonna have to take to get him to back the fuck off is more than likely not gonna involve any of those things in your impending conversation with him. I think it’s really sweet that you wanna just speak from the heart and hope that your friendship with him is strong enough to ‘show him the light’ or whatever, but the world doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t work that way. We’re gonna have to come up with something else, and it’s a very good idea for us to talk about it beforehand.”

Evelyn was quiet for a bit.

God, she’s so cute and naïve. The thought nearly made me visibly smile. I suppressed the urge, though.

“You’re really good at that,” Evelyn finally decided.

“I spent three and a half years without the opportunity to hone many other skills, so yeah, I suppose I am pretty damn good at analyzing people and figuring out their ticks,” I agreed.

“How did you know about that stuff?” Evelyn asked. “The… the twitter stuff, and the Trump stuff?”

I grimaced. “I, uh… stole an iPhone after someone dropped it on their walk home,” I admitted. “Obviously I didn’t know the passcode, but punching in the wrong one a couple dozen times till it offered to erase everything worked well enough to get me a blank slate and a safari page. It was 2016 by the time I got a handle on the whole ‘literacy’ thing, so… yeah. A very interesting time to get into your species’ politics. And kinda funny to keep up to date with from in the zoo—I guess there was a pandemic that somehow got politicized? You people are weird. But anyways, you’re latching onto the wrong details of what I said. So…” I prompted. “Thoughts? Ideas? I had three years to work on him and got nowhere, but maybe with the presence of someone he actually considers a person, things will go better. As long as we make the correct approaches.”

As Evelyn thought of ways to make Jasper fuck off, I considered my own moves from here. Technically, it wasn’t the end of the world if this conversation didn’t go well. The whole reason it’s happening in the first place is because Jasper cares enough about Evelyn to cover her ass, and since she’s covering my ass, the ass-covering carries over. The only nightmare outcome would be this conversation going so bad that Jasper suddenly decides to turn us both into the authorities, but… I literally can’t think of anything Evelyn could say to fuck things up that horribly. We should be largely fine, at least in the short term.

“I… I can’t think of anything,” Evelyn admitted, breaking me out of my train of thought. “It’s… how am I supposed to get him to care about you if there’s nothing I can do to get him to care about you? It’s a paradox!”

“It is,” I agreed. “That’s why getting him to care about me isn’t the goal.”

Evelyn’s brows furrowed. “It isn’t?”

“I never said that it was,” I confirmed. “Frankly, I don’t like him enough to wanna put in the effort of bashing my head against that particular brick wall. The goal is to make him fuck off and leave me alone. He’s incapable of giving a shit about me, but I don’t need him to. The ideal situation is one where he just washes his hands of any involvement in this. Forgets you and I exist and moves on with his life. Unfortunately, he cares too much about you to ever leave me the fuck alone, since I’m kinda bound to you for now. Obviously, the clearest path forwards from there would be to unbound myself from you, but unfortunately I like you, so the efficient method of just severing all ties and leaving you is… not desirable.”

Actually, no. It’s not just ‘not desirable.’ It’s unacceptable. It would be losing. I refuse to lose to Jasper. I’m not giving up an inch of this hard-fought slice of peace I have spent three years clawing for. Evelyn is mine.

…Oh. Uh. Shit. Very problematic thought process there, brain. I would be thinking hard about that later.

“I, uh,” Evelyn said with a cocked eyebrow. “I don’t know if I should be offended that you just insinuated that the fact that you care about me is a logistical issue, but… I… guess it proves you care about me in the first place..?”

Oh, fuckin whoops. There’s a reason I usually keep this monologue internal. Lemme just do some damage control here.

“E-Evelyn, I… I’m in analysis mode here,” I reassured. “My affection towards you obviously isn’t as surface level as just… a thing that I have. That’s not what my emotions are to me. That’s not what you are to me. You’re… more important than that,” I said with a smile. “I’m just thinking in a logical context right now, I promise.”

“I-it was just a little joke, don’t worry,” Evelyn reassured me, though I knew she felt relieved. “I don’t actually think you treat your emotions as assets to be used in some kind of game.”

Ha. If only she knew. I’ve been working hard to stop treating everything I see as an asset, and I could almost have believed it was going well before Jasper called.

“You, uh… you don’t, right?”

I realized just a little too late that I never responded to that. “Oh, no, of course I don’t,” I lied. “Sorry, just… got lost in thought again.”

Evelyn just nodded. Then, after another quick pause; “And, you… you don’t treat anyone else’s emotions like assets, too, right? Like… how often is this kind of stuff going through your head? Do… do you ever get into ‘analysis mode’ with me..?”

Oh, god. I really don’t want to lie to Evelyn, and if I’m being honest, I had been thinking for a while about telling her that I intentionally manipulated her, but I wanted to wait a little bit for the right time. No, not now, it’s not time for that yet. For now, though… I could answer her question without lying, right?

“Evelyn,” I said, taking a step closer to the giant. “How I feel—”

Evelyn’s phone rang again. With one last concerned look in my direction—shit, that’s a bad sign, isn’t it?—she checked the caller ID.

“Bonnie,” she said. “Uh… okay, lemme just get fired real quick before we keep going here.”

As Evelyn listened to her manager chew her out for being the only zookeeper in years to be so incompetent as to let out an exhibit, I considered whether or not it was worth it to just… run.

She was onto me, after all. I could see it in her eyes, in her posture. I spoke my train of thought aloud, and she saw me for what I really am—a sociopath who plans every interaction and manipulates them into favourable situations. She listened to me thinking about how best to do it to Jasper, and realized that it was very likely that I had employed a similar method in my conversations with her. I had no control over how she would react to this. I was planning on talking her down and convincing her that I’m not a sociopath, but if it didn’t go well… I wouldn’t surrender my hard-fought freedom. I would bolt.

I planned out an escape route. The curtain to the open window was floor-length, and therefore in reach. I could climb up and run out, then… shit. I’m pretty sure I could survive if I just jumped straight down to the ground, even though I’m on the second floor. I don’t have enough mass to work up the momentum it would take to cause any appreciable damage by falling. But… I had never exactly had a strong desire to test that at any point throughout my life, and I wasn’t ecstatic at the prospect of trying it without knowing for certain.

This was all just a backup plan, though. It’s okay if it’s kind of terrible—hopefully, it won’t come to that. And god, I really hoped it didn’t. I really, really like Evelyn. I don’t want her to hate me. I just want a normal friendship with her.

And… friends talk to each other.

The instincts that had spent three years embedding themselves in the fibers of my being screamed at me for entertaining this line of thought. This is a delicate situation. Now is not the time to be honest with her. I’m a helpless animal, and I didn’t have the luxury of treating this situation like a human would. My life is at stake.

And yet…

Friends talk to each other.

“In any other situation, I’d probably be crying after a call like that,” Evelyn muttered as she hung up. “Strange how saving a life negates the anxiety of frivolous things like summer income. Anyways…” The human set her phone back down on her nightstand. “Layna. I… I didn’t mean to insinuate—“

“For all intents and purposes, I intentionally emotionally manipulated you into feeling guilty for my captivity and coerced you into helping me escape by spending time with you for the purpose of fostering affection so that I could abuse it—and you—to break free,” I blurted, tears welling in my eyes.

I took note of how Evelyn’s shock softened just the smallest amount as she saw my lip quiver. In response, I waited an extra few seconds before biting down on it, giving her more time to see it and foster feelings of pity for me.

…I’m a monster.

I’m a fucking monster.

My legs were tense, ready to sprint to the window the moment her rage overtook her, preparing for the fallout of losing my most valuable asset.

I hate this.

I don’t want to think of Evelyn that way.

I want to be friends with her.

I want to sob into her chest while she holds me in cupped hands, a reassuring finger running down my back as she calms me down and tells me that it’s all okay now, that I’m safe now, that I never need to think about these kinds of things again.

I wish I was a person.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered pathetically.

I stifled my sobbing. My instincts told me to use them, to cry loudly so she’d pity me more. I refused those instincts. I clamped down on my desire to wail. I wouldn’t entertain my manipulative tendencies right now—Evelyn deserved that much from me.

“Was any of it real?” Evelyn asked, and for once, I couldn’t parse her tone. I couldn’t find any anger, nor could I find forgiveness.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I… I want it to have been. But I don’t know anymore. I…” I considered what I wanted to say next. My heart wanted to speak those words, but… my instincts told me they’d foster more pity. That when I spoke them, my chances of keeping this asset would increase. I didn’t want to listen to those instincts.

I had promised myself I would listen to my heart for Evelyn, though. It didn’t matter that my manipulative instincts agreed with it, right? It didn’t matter that I was aware of the positive effects it would have. My heart told me to say it, and so I said it.

“I don’t remember how to see people as people anymore,” I whispered, voice quivering. “I don’t remember how to have a conversation with someone without subconsciously steering things in a favourable direction for me. How to talk to someone without ulterior motives. It’s… it’s been too long since I’ve just talked, and those skills have atrophied.”

“Layna…” Evelyn breathed.

“I don’t want to know these things anymore,” I choked out. “I don’t want to be constantly aware that every little quiver of my voice makes you pity me. I want that little voice in my head telling me to abuse it and sob for you so you’ll feel more responsible for my wellbeing to go away. But it won’t, because I’ve listened to it for three years and I don’t know how to turn it off anymore.”

My knees quivered and threatened to buckle, but I kept them locked. I still might need to run.

“I just want to be your friend,” I whispered pathetically. “But I can’t stop thinking of you as a tool.”

Evelyn sat up in her bed. Her face grew far enough away from me that it was a blur to my nearsightedness. I couldn’t read her intentions.

And so when the giant’s hand descended down, I assumed the worst and ran for the window.

“Wh— Layna!” Evelyn called after me, but my legs pumped without any intention of slowing down. I reached the curtain in an instant, immediately jumping to start climbing. The tears in my eyes blurred my vision, and I missed a handhold in the fabric, slipping for just a moment before regaining my grip.

That moment was enough for Evelyn to react. She shot towards the window, scrambling to close it before I could throw myself out. I immediately doubled back and ran for the door to her bedroom, hoping to escape that way.

The door was only open a crack, and so all Evelyn had to do to block off my way out was slam it an inch, blocking off my last chance of never having to see the inside of that cage again.

My breaths grew more shallow, my movements more erratic. I didn’t have an out in this situation. I was so fucking close to finally being free, and I messed it up at the last goddamn second. Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut? Now I had zero control over the situation. I couldn’t say anything to convince her to stop—she already knew all my tactics, because I told her all of them.

I can’t go back there.

I can’t go back to that cage!!!

I started searching wildly for another way out. A hole in the wall, a secret door, a fucking portal to another dimension, anything to gain a foothold, to control something about this situation. I came up with nothing.

My legs fell out from under me. I shot back up, but my knees still quivered with terror, threatening to buckle again. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My heart pounded through my chest, and I was certain it had somehow broken my ribs, because nothing else could possibly have caused that pain. I fell again, my limbs betraying me as I looked up at Evelyn, shaky arms keeping me propped up as I tried to crawl backwards away from her.

“Please don’t hurt me!” I cried. “Please don’t take me back!!! I can’t go back!!! I won’t go back!!!”

I’d sooner die.

My wrist shot up to my mouth, and my jaws prepared to clamp down on my veins.

I won’t go back.

Giant fingers pried my limbs away, denying me of any bodily autonomy. I struggled and squirmed and cried, but those fingers kept me locked in place.

Evelyn brought me closer to her face, and even through the blurring of both my nearsightedness and the tears in my eyes, I could make out her expression.

It… it wasn’t anger.

It was grief.

I was held against her chest, fingers still keeping my limbs secure to prevent me from hurting myself. I sobbed uncontrollably into her chest.

“I can’t go back!” I wailed.

“You’re not going back,” Evelyn said softly. “You’re never going to have to see that tank again. I promise you that.”

My frail body quivered in her grip.

“Are you gonna kill me?” I sobbed.

“Oh my god,” Evelyn whispered, her voice quivering. “Layna… sweet Layna… It’s okay, honey, no one’s going to hurt you. Nothing bad will ever happen to you again as long as I live.”

She’s… not mad.

She’s crying.

For me.

“I’m a monster,” I reminded her.

“You’re a victim,” Evelyn corrected. “You’re… you’re a broken woman who has suffered too much heartache for one person to ever have to bear. It’s not your fault that your coping mechanisms are harmful to yourself. And… and to me.”

She let out a shaky sigh, trying in vain to calm her breathing. Her finger ran down my back in an attempt to soothe me.

“You were forced into a corner,” she continued, “and… and I was your way out. You were in there for so long… I’m so sorry, Layna…”

“I don’t deserve this,” I reminded her. “I spent my days thinking about ways to emotionally abuse you. Trying to get you to feel horrible and depressed so you’d save me. At every given chance, I chose the path that would make you hate yourself, and I did it on purpose.”

“I deserved to hate myself for what I was doing to you,” Evelyn replied. “I’m glad you made me feel the way I did, even if I would’ve preferred less malice and obfuscation.”

“I still don’t know how to see you as a person,” I cut in. “I still see you and your emotions as tools I can use. I… I’m a sociopath.”

“I want to help you stop,” she responded without hesitation. “I want to teach you to treat people as people. I want for you to think of me as your friend. I want to help you heal. Because you’re not a sociopath, Layna. You’re hurt.”

“I’m just going to keep using you,” I said. “I’m going to use this. I’m already thinking of ways I could take advantage of it. How I could manipulate you into thinking I’m healing to lower your guard.”

“Layna. Was it a good idea to tell me that? From the perspective of a manipulator, I mean.”

I hesitated for a moment.

“It was a horrible idea to let you know what my plans could be,” I admitted.

“So why did you tell me?”

I already knew the answer, of course.

“…Because I promised myself I would tell you what felt right, and not what benefited me the most,” I whispered. “Because I want to get better. I want to be your friend.”

“You are my friend,” Evelyn said, and I shattered.

Evelyn kept shushing and softly petting my head as I screamed into her chest. She took it in stride, continuing to reassure me and tell me everything was gonna be okay.

“Friends help each other,” Evelyn promised. “I’m gonna help you.”

Sobs wreaked through my chest hard enough to hurt, strong enough that my lungs burned from lack of air.

I shattered, and Evelyn held all the pieces together in one place as I wailed.

In the palms of her hands.

The one place that I couldn’t reconcile… for I simultaneously had no control over myself, and all the control in the world.

prev

[izzy-b-hands]

34 & 44!

Connie!!! Thank you!! 💖💖💖💛💛!

34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

This is where the Autism kicks in akdnfkgng, even if I dislike a song (like actively hate lmaooo) if I hear it enough it will be stuck in there, fully remembered, forever. I can't remember my cousin's bdays without it being marked already on a calendar, but if someone asked me to sing any song I hate for karaoke? (Let's go with Blurred Lines because I watch an old Big Fat Quiz ep and guess what they played more than once 🙃): I could do it. It might not sound good, but by god every word would be there.

On the plus side, songs I love also stick in there easily, which means there's also a selection of MCR, anything that's ever been on a Saints Row soundtrack, the entire OFMD soundtrack (literally have not relistened to The Chain because it's been in my head on repeat since I watched it 😂)

Fuck the Autism also kicked in on this answer (and the next im so sorry ilu) what a book, forgive me for these lmaooo

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Okay so I'm v stoned and got waaay too deep into this question ngl like. considering who and the concept of revenge and vigilante justice and would seeking the other person's death really create an overwhelming sense of fulfillment and peace, or simply mutate the current grief into something twisted and painful that haunts one until their death? Then thinking if I undertook manipulation to ensure the death of someone else but had to spend time in their company as a result am I then no better than them for having taken their hospitality which comes from their horrific actions?

Then I realized the best answer is probably Thomas Hardy or (and hoo boy am I a little scared to note this one hence writing it to evade tags) J./K./R./

The first because I hate having to read his sad sack books and like. I think it would be a mercy to kill him and put him out of his fucking misery. "Because we are to meny" fuck u Tommy Boy that shit destroyed me

And the second because her work was a huge part of my childhood. I loved that shit; I still have merch from my middle school days even that is in storage to be burned later. At one point I had planned a tattoo of a fave line even (I'm glad I waited, but had I gotten it I think now I would just be figuring out a good cover up design. That's just me personally tho cuz like. who tf gets a fun fandom tattoo and then expects This Shit from the author, ya know? I didn't as a kid, planning for that tattoo while I reread the books.)

As a result of who she's revealed herself to be and what she believes, I've cut that part of myself out like a cancer (tearing up the old books and using them for art projects, the merch burning is probably going to be done this or next summer or whenever we aren't in a damn drought with bonfire bans) but bits of it linger, ya know? Like I'll think of a song from middle school and then be blasted with the memory of how I played it on repeat while reading the latest in the series, and then remember Why i haven't been able to listen to the song in years

I wish i could literally erase all of it from my memory, never see the books or merch or the movies (on streaming sites too) ever again. But since I can't, though I keep on trying, I would settle for doing to her what she thinks should happen to people like me

However she also seems like a scrapper and she's taller than me so tbh I dunno if I would be successful or if it would be a mutual fight to the death, but I would be fine with that too. Not a win-win, but not every situation is in life lol