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mikauzoran · 3 years

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Lukadrienette: A Bouquet of Second Chances: Chapter Two

Summary: After feeling like less than a partner to Ladybug for several years, Adrien gives up his ring, and Marinette returns to the past to help her younger self avoid a similar fate. Meanwhile, Luka tries to hold everything together until Adrien and Marinette can work things out in the present.

Read it on AO3: A Bouquet of Second Chances: Chapter Two

“Who the hell are you?!” Ladybug snapped a little less than eight hours later when the akuma struck.

“What did you do to Chat Noir?” she seethed, tightening the wire of her yoyo around the transformed Luka. “If you’ve hurt him, I’ll—”

“—Chanson?” he called softly, using his pet name for her. “It’s me.”

Her jaw dropped, and so did her hold on the yoyo.

“…Blue Bird?” she used her own pet name for Luka.

He grimaced. “I think I’m ‘Russian Blue’ at the moment.”

She sucked in a breath. “Blue…where’s my cat? Is he…?”

Horror and panic filled her expression.

Luka put up his hands in a placating gesture. “He’s safe. Don’t worry. He’s not injured.”

Not physically, anyway. He knew he was being a little misleading, but it was the closest to the truth that he could get before expecting her to go off and fight an akuma. She needed to be able to keep her head in the game.

“He’s dealing with some stuff, so I’m filling in for now. Sorry no one contacted you sooner. He just left Plagg with me early this morning.”

Ladybug nodded, processing. “Okay. All right. But he’s okay?”

“He’s safe,” Luka repeated, giving her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“You lied to me!” Marinette shrieked at Luka as he attempted to sink into her chaise longue.

“Technically, I left out certain details so that you could concentrate on the akuma and then immediately came clean as soon as the situation was resolved and it was safe to do so,” he muttered, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate the subtle difference.

“You said you were only filling in temporarily,” Marinette snapped, continuing to wear a hole in her carpet as she paced.

“I’m optimistic that this is temporary,” he stressed, trying to remember why he’d agreed to subject himself to this.

…Ah, yes. Because Adrien gave him a pleading look with those irresistible peridot eyes. Curse Luka’s weakness for pretty blondes with daddy issues and gorgeous smiles.

“I can’t believe you,” Marinette seethed, rounding on Luka. “How could you just let him give you his Miraculous?!”

“He seduced me!” Luka protested weakly in his own defence. “He looked at me with his pretty green eyes and asked me to help him. He was sitting on my bed and crying and saying how much he trusted me… Marinette, you know what a simp I am. What was I supposed to do?”

She sighed, coming over to sink to the floor by his feet and rest her head against his knee. “…Yeah. I know. I’m sorry for taking this out on you. I just… You should have told him no.”

Luka snorted as he gently began to massage Marinette’s scalp. “Please. I’m a total doormat when it comes to you and Adrien and Chat Noir. It’s one of my major flaws—I completely lack a spine when it comes to telling the people I love no. You guys could ask me to help you dispose of a body, and I’m terrified that I’d actually do it without a second thought because I’m incapable of saying no when my people need me. How should I have dealt with the man I love begging me to help him, Marinette?”

She flinched even as he kept rubbing calming circles on the top of her head. “…I know. I’m sorry. I’m being totally unfair.”

“It’s okay,” Luka sighed. “I know you’re upset.”

She shook her head, effectively nuzzling his knee. “That doesn’t make me treating you like this right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sure you did everything you could to dissuade him.”

“It’s okay,” he repeated, hoping the calm, affectionate tone of his voice would soothe her.

“Blue Bird, it’s not okay for me to treat you like this,” she grumbled, frustrated not for the first time at how easily he absolved her.

He chuckled. “Another one of my fatal flaws. I’d forgive you anything.”

“Even if I stabbed a knife in your back?” she sulked.

“I’m sure you’d have your reasons,” he replied, fond smile never faltering.

She groaned. “I don’t deserve you.”

He shrugged. “I’m yours anyway.”

She wrapped her arms around his leg, hugging it to her chest as she pressed her head harder against his knee.

He kept stroking her hair and massaging her head.

She didn’t try to hide the tears as she asked, “How could he think I don’t need him?”

Luka’s smile tightened. “He has abusive parents. They’ve made him think he’s expendable…that he’s only good enough if he’s perfect.”

“I hate his parents,” she growled.

“He’ll be eighteen in April. I’m going to try to get him to move in with me. …Adrien too,” he added in case identities were still secret at that point and he needed to preserve Adrien’s cover. “Then maybe we can work on building them up a little more.”

“But what are we going to do now?” Her voice was frail, a hint of fear to it.

She sounded lost.

“Luka…I can’t do this without him. He’s my partner, even if he doesn’t feel like he’s my partner anymore. I need him,” she stressed.

“I know, Chanson,” Luka shushed gently. “Don’t worry. This is going to be temporary. We just have to ride this out.”

She pulled back to look up at him. “Can’t you take me to him? You know who he is. You could take me to him, and we could talk. I need to talk to him.”

Luka put his hands up defensively. “Not just yet.”

She dialed up the pleading in her eyes.

“He needs time, Marinette,” Luka pressed. “This needs to be his decision. He doesn’t get to make his own choices all that often. His situation is like Adrien’s…so you need to let this be his choice. Don’t take his agency away from him.”

She abruptly deflated. “…How long do you think we’ll have to ‘ride this out’?”

Dejectedly, she got up off the floor and moved to his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her tenderly, nuzzling her cheek. “Give him a week to think things over and cool down. You know him. He makes rash decisions sometimes without thinking them through fully.”

“You said he said he’s been thinking about this for a few years now,” she objected.

“He also came to my place at three in the morning. He makes emotional decisions…but how he feels might change if we give him some time to reflect more calmly,” Luka reasoned. “He loves Plagg like family, and being Chat Noir is one of the few ways he can have freedom and exert some control over his situation. He’s probably going to regret giving up the ring.”

“He didn’t make this decision lightly,” she mumbled.

“No,” Luka confirmed. “He didn’t…so we need to respect his choice. Give it a week, and then I’ll check in with him, see if he wants to talk to you.”

“I don’t understand why he didn’t talk to me before,” she muttered bitterly, cringing at the pain of her partner’s abrupt disappearance. “If he’s been feeling this way for years…if I’ve been hurting him for so long… Why didn’t he talk to me? I could have…I don’t know. I don’t know if I could have fixed it or not, but maybe I could have done something that would have helped. I could have done something differently. I would have tried.”

Her voice dropped to the barest of whispers. “I would have done anything for him.”

Luka squeezed her tighter, gently rocking her from side to side. “Again, his family situation sucks. He’s used to being abused and neglected and told his feelings don’t matter. I don’t know if it’s necessarily something you did, so please don’t beat yourself up, Chanson.”

“Of course it was something I did,” she spat in frustration with herself. “He went to you, didn’t he? He trusted you, not me.”

Luka winced. “…Don’t take this the wrong way because I’m not taking a shot at you. I’m just trying to explain the situation, but this is going to sound bad.”

“Say it,” she sighed. “You can’t possibly hurt me any worse than I’ve already hurt myself by completely alienating my partner and making him feel like dirt.”

Luka took a deep breath. “I don’t keep secrets from him. About anything.”

She flinched.

“He knows he can ask me anything and I’ll answer honestly whether that’s what I’m thinking, what I’m scared of, about my sex life, my most embarrassing moments… I’m always an open book with him, so he knows he can come to me with anything.”

She wilted in his arms, drawing her knees in closer as she buried her face in his neck.

“He knows I’ll always be straight with him, so that’s why he trusts me.”

She gave a snort. “You haven’t been ‘straight’ with him a day in your life.”

Luka coughed out a laugh. “Yeah. Okay. Poor choice of words. I guess I should have said that he knows I’ll always be a bi disaster with him, so…”

He shook his head. “…It probably also helps that he knows he has me wrapped around his little finger, so…”

She raised her head, meeting his gaze with tired, watery eyes. “Speaking of which…Can we…?”

She bit her lip.

He tipped his head to the side and waited patiently.

She swallowed. “I’m hurting.”

He reached up to wipe the tear tracks from her cheeks with his thumb. “What can I do, Chanson? Tell me what you need.”

She sighed. “I hate taking advantage of you. You’re too good, Blue Bird.”

He shrugged and kept smiling. “Is it really taking advantage if I freely give you something?”

She shifted uneasily on his lap. “I don’t… It still doesn’t feel right.”

He gently lifted her chin with his finger. “Marinette, I understand that you guys aren’t ready to be in any kind of official relationship right now. I mean…Adrien and Chat Noir don’t even know how you feel about them, so…don’t worry about not being able to commit. Let’s just let our relationship be whatever it is.”

She pursed her lips.

A worried frown crumpled his brow. “Do you feel like I’m pressuring you to be with me? I mean, I know I tease about how I’m going to get you and Adrien and Chat Noir to marry me one of these days, but—”

“—No,” she cut him off with a shake of her head and a weary smile. “It’s not that. I don’t feel like you’re cornering me or anything. I…I want that…eventually. After Papillon when my life settles down and I don’t have to spend so much of my time and energy just making sure Paris sees another tomorrow.”

A soft smile settled back onto his lips as a warm, doting look came back into his eyes. “Okay. Good.”

She blew out a sigh. “I just feel like it’s wrong to make out with you when I’m not your girlfriend.”

“I see,” he purred. “That’s society’s values trying to make you feel bad about yourself for not conforming to its ways.”

“It’s working,” she grumbled.

“I think it’s more important to ask me how I feel about it,” he tried to convince her and ease her conscience. “…and I’m perfectly fine with you making out with me without you having to officially label yourself as my girlfriend.”

She sighed again.

“Marinette, do you want to make out?” he offered. “Is that what you need right now?”

“It’s not like you’d say no to me anyway,” she pouted as guilt welled up within her. “…But I need to feel not awful right now. I can’t risk getting akumatized and letting Papillon win. I’m being irresponsible.”

“You’re being human,” he corrected, coaxing her up to her feet. “Last time I checked, that’s allowed.”

She gave a weak chuckle as he took her by the hand and tugged her towards the ladder up to her loft.

“Come on. Let’s see if I can help you feel ‘not awful’. I think I can manage it.”

He gave her a wink that sent a jolt straight from her heart to the pit of her stomach.

Half an hour later, Marinette was curled up under the covers with Luka, resting her head on his chest as she drifted in and out of a blissful daze.

All of Luka’s hard work was nullified when a portal opened at the foot of her bed and Bunnix popped her head out, making Marinette scream.

Bunnix winced. “Sorry. Bad time?”

“If you knew it was a bad time, why did you choose to come now?” Marinette growled, sitting up and pushing loose strands of hair out of her face.

Bunnix shrugged. “Sorry. My powers aren’t always as precise as we’d like.”

“Hey, Alix.” Luka raised a hand in greeting. “What’s up? Timeline emergency?”

She nodded gravely. “Sorry. I just realized that this timeline was heading for a bad end. I think I’ve identified the point in time you need to return to to fix things.”

“Joy,” Marinette remarked flatly. “Let me…change into something more presentable and brush my hair.”

Luka looked to Bunnix as Marinette climbed down the ladder and set about getting ready. “Is this about Chat Noir?”

Bunnix nodded, looking like she was attending a funeral. “I underestimated the amount of damage certain events inflicted on their relationship. They can’t defeat Papillon like this. She needs to go back and talk to her younger self to straighten things out.”

Luka frowned. “But there’s no akuma to fight, is there? She won’t be using a Lucky Charm to repair things and merge the timelines, will she?”

“No akuma,” Bunnix confirmed. “The changes won’t fix the timeline you’re currently in.”

Luka gulped. “So…is this a dead timeline, then?”

Bunnix pursed her lips. “I’m not sure. I haven’t poked around enough to say for sure whether this timeline is completely unsalvageable. I just know where I have to drop Marinette to fix things to make the divergent timeline better.”

“So, I can fix things here once I get back from making sure that things don’t get so messed up in the other timeline,” Marinette declared with determination as she climbed back up into the loft.

Her eyes were like sparking flints. The fight was back in her.

She turned to Bunnix. “I’m ready to go.”

“I’m coming with you,” Luka informed, calling on Plagg to transform him.

Bunnix appeared skeptical.

Luka gave her a stern look. “She has to go it alone and fix things on her own too damn often. It’s not like I think she needs me or I think I’d be any help. I get that she’s got it covered… I just think that she deserves to have a little emotional support.”

Bunnix shrugged unconcernedly and made the portal opening a little wider to accommodate Luka’s broader shoulders.

Marinette smiled as she reached out and took Luka’s hand, giving it a grateful squeeze.

He shrugged, giving her the goofiest, most loving smile.

She transformed, and they went into the portal.

Bunnix made them close their eyes as they walked through the Burrow, shepherded along by Bunnix’s hands on their backs.

“You’re wrong, you know,” Ladybug whispered. “I do need you.”

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boundlesshart · 3 years

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A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE.

tagged by: soji von marth lowell tagging: the person reading this :)

REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG, with the information of your muse, including headcanons.

NAME. claude von riegan OR khalid al rostam NICKNAME(S). boy, eventually leaderman, “the fódlaner” ALIAS(ES). claude, technically, but i’d like to think that he thinks of this as just another name as he gets older AGE. 18 SPECIES. human ZODIAC. leo GEMSTONE. peridot MORAL ALIGNMENT. chaotic good ABILITIES / POWERS. skilled at archery, wyvern riding, speech, diplomacy, politics. possesses the minor crest of riegan, which allows him to heal injuries when under duress. INTERESTS. a more openminded world, being able to belong instead of pushed out of the spaces he tries to occupy, maintaining his power and authority so that he can achieve his dreams, his own survival if all else fails. eventually he can fit his friends’ well being in here too. - but more casually: he enjoys reading about history and debating other people, showing off what he’s good at, eating food, partying, sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, going down rabbitholes. FEARS. his dreams falling to ash, being discovered. came to fódlan with an aversion to magic that is slowly being worked on. ironically hates being lied to and being kept in the dark about something. GUILTY PLEASURES. claude is pretty open about what he likes, so he wouldn’t feel guilty about loving food or romping around. maybe trying to look into someone’s secrets, but he only feels guilty when he realizes he’s taken it too far and is being too forceful... which he doesn’t always pick up on until it’s too late. SPOKEN LANGUAGES. first language was a common form of Almyra, which is more relaxed compared to what is spoken at court. i think of the almyran language to be something that was specifically designed to read like a poem and sound like a song, melodious and chock full of words that try to reach for specific feelings or apply to different connotations and nuance. in almyran culture, there is a strong emphasis on telling the truth, and the ideal way of speaking is one where your words can perfectly translate your thoughts. common almyra is pretty casual in this regard and has been influenced by other languages, but court almyran holds its speakers to this ideal and is considered to be the original language by its speakers. anyways, there’s also fódlanguage! tiana wiped her hands of fódlan politics so she didn’t teach her kids when they were younger. claude mostly learns this from judith in his first months in fódlan. speaks with a derdriu accent. PROFESSION. heir to house riegan and next in line to be the sovereign duke of the leicester alliance, one of the princes of almyra. BODY TYPE. lean, slender but still soft on the stomach. more muscular post-timeskip, HEIGHT. 5′9″ (175 cm) COLORS. yellow, red, green, black, white. DRINKS. water, almyran pine needle tea, chamomile tea, some fruit juices ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES? he walked away from the sealed forest swearing off alcohol. ends up in situations where he has to drink to be polite, but he doesn’t like alcohol. SMOKES? occasionally on his own time. i feel like he does it for funsies when he’s young but develops into something he does to cope with the stress of leading the alliance through a war as he gets older. for my own sake tho i don’t want it to be tobacco or shrooms. he can have fantasy weed.REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG, with the information of your muse, including headcanons.

#ask meme #well not really #headcanon

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captainillogical · 4 years

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Distant Lands Ch.19

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

Strangely enough, you wake up in your bed.

You don’t remember coming into your room to sleep, but here you are. It’s light out - the blinds are closed, but the window is glowing with sunlight. You rub at your eyes, trying to get the rest of the lingering feeling of sleep out of them. You wonder what time it is, and you look over to see your phone left on your small bedside dresser. Without moving from your lying position, you reach over to grab it off the flat surface.

You pull out the charging cable, and open your lock screen. It’s a bit past two in the afternoon. Ugh. You see a couple texts from Steven, and some from an unknown number. You open his messages first.

[10:23] Steven: I woke up fairly early and saw you asleep on the couch with Spinel. Color my face surprised. Wasn't expecting you two to be so chummy considering how you met, initially.

[10:23] Steven: I told you to get some sleep but you really don’t want to listen to me, huh? She helped me put you to bed. Was a little surprised at how careful she was with you.

[10:23] Steven: Anyway, you looked like you needed quite a bit of rest so Pearl, myself and Spinel are going to Little Homeworld ourselves to introduce her to some of the others and show her around a bit.

[10:24] Steven: Take it easy today, and don’t fret about the small stuff. I’ll take care of it, as well as giving some of the others a quick run-down of what happened so you’re not bombarded with the same questions multiple times.

[10:24] Steven: I gave Spinel one of my old cell phones that Peridot ‘upgraded’, the one with the heart stickers you put on the back (I thought it was funny), and gave her your number. Watching her try to navigate human technology was hilarious, btw.

[10:24] Steven: Also we still have that tub of blueberry yogurt in the fridge that I didn’t really like, so if you’re hungry please eat that first. Pearl won’t let me buy more yogurt until I finish that one. :(

You stare at the texts for a moment, brain working a little slow still. Lord.. you can't believe Steven saw you like that, and with Spinel. He could've reacted way worse, but you're glad that it wasn't the case. You kinda have a feeling he might ask you a couple personal questions regarding that.. ugh. You’re also trying to not be disappointed that you’re not there with them and Spinel, and getting to see her interactions with the others.

Oh well, nothing you can do about it now. You text him back before opening the other messages.

[02:09] Y/N: Pssh, I’ll sleep when I want to sleep. Plus, I couldn’t really pass out before talking to her about shit on my mind. It’s fine. And thanks for making sure I didn’t wake up with a stiff neck.

[02:09] Y/N: Keep an eye on her for me, yeah? She’s anxious about all of this.

[02:09] Y/N: And.. thank you, Steven. You know you're my favorite, right?

After sending the texts, you go over and open the unsaved number’s messages from a couple hours ago. They’re clearly from Spinel, so you save the number to your contacts before reading them all.

[10:42] Spinel: did it send

[10:42] Spinel: i think it did this time, phewwww no error message

[10:42] Spinel: this tech is old and weird but i can deal with it for now

[10:42] Spinel: i hope you got okay sleep

[10:42] Spinel: i’m out with steven and pearl as i’m sure he’s told you already

[10:42] Spinel: she’s kinda annoying sometimes, is that normal for her? i don’t know how to feel about her, especially knowing pink as much as i did

[10:43] Spinel: and i know you told me to be nice to steven, but he’s already laughed at me for being confused at your human tech. never listening to you again

[10:43] Spinel: little homeworld is not what i was expecting, but i think i like this a little better than whatever i had thought, anyway

[10:43] Spinel: bismuth is fun. i like her. she says she’ll put me to work for it, but she has a small place for me in this new housing block that’ll be ready for me later today

[10:43] Spinel: it feels kinda like too much at once and it’s a little overwhelming

[10:43] Spinel: but steven has helped a ton, and i’m starting to understand why you defended him as much as you did.

[12:16] Spinel: [attachment received]

You open the file, and it’s a very blurry image of the sidewalk and what you think is Spinel’s shoes. Did she mean to send that? You feel your face smiling, despite the weird feelings starting to blossom in your stomach. You’re glad she’s getting along with the others. You had been.. wary, really, and for good reason. But if the others can get over other gems trying to kill Steven fairly quickly, then you’re not surprised they can get over this, this soon. It was always you technically that held a grudge against the other gems that tried causing him harm. And well, you did hold a bit of a grudge against Spinel for a while..

You sigh out loud, and sit up before texting her back. It feels weird to be texting her, when you were so used to face-to-face communication.

[02:12] Y/N: I slept fine. Thanks for putting me to bed, Steven said some nice things about you :P

[02:12] Y/N: I’m glad you got used to cellphones pretty quickly, I’m a little impressed. And give Pearl some time, you just gotta brush off half her nagging for the most part.

[02:12] Y/N: What were you expecting little homeworld to be like? And how sweet of Bismuth, you should take a pic of the place when you get into it, I wanna see what it looks like inside.

[02:13] Y/N: Yeah.. it will feel like too much, Spinel. Think of what your life was like before this. I did say there was going to be a lot to adjust to.

[02:13] Y/N: Also did you mean to send that last image because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at exactly, there.

You check your social media for a second as you try not to let all of your thoughts linger on Spinel, and then roll your eyes at yourself when you realize ah right, a month didn’t actually pass here. There’s nothing new. You stand up, stretching your arms way over your head.

It feels good, not sleeping on the ground for once.

You make quick work of changing into an oversized sweater and some shorts from your current sleepwear, wanting to wear something loose and different. Phone in hand, you meander out of your room hungry, and into the kitchen. You see Amethyst in the living room, chilling on the couch and reading some magazine. Except you know she’s not reading it, she’s just looking for weird images to cut out and prank Pearl with in weird places.

“‘Sup.” She says without looking up from her browsing as you open the fridge, looking for anything but that yogurt. A month of only bullshit weird, plain fruit to eat and he thinks you’ll finish off his yogurt for him?

“Hey.” You reply back to her, and ugh.. unless you want to go through the effort of making eggs, toast and yogurt are really your only option since they haven’t gone food shopping. You make a face at the fridge, grabbing for the yogurt and closing the door.

“How ya’ feelin’?” She asks casually, flipping a page. An eye drifts over the page to land on you, and she lifts an eyebrow in interest. “You look better than you did yesterday.”

“...Thanks,” It comes out slightly insulted, but, well, it’s Amethyst. She doesn’t mince her words. “I got some decent sleep for once. Is Garnet home?”

“Nah, she’s got one of her lessons going on.”

“And you don’t?” You grab the bread out of the cupboard, and squint at it for a second. There’s.. a bit of fucking mold on the edge. Ugh. Your luck. You toss the bread onto the counter for Amethyst to eat later, and spot a single bagel left in the cupboard behind a bag of flour. Oh hell yeah.

“Not today, we pushed mine til tomorrow because Onion couldn’t participate for some reason.” She blows a lock of hair out of her face, turning a page.

“All for Onion, and he’s not even a gem. He can sit out one lesson.” You put the bagel in the toaster - getting crumbs everywhere and not caring, and grabbing a spoon for your yogurt.

“C’mon, you know the others love him, it was basically all their decision anyway.” She flips another page, and you can see her giving you a pointed look that you’re going to ignore. “Besides, I wanted to relax today anyway, considering all the stress you just put me under.”

“Cause it was totally by choice.” You retort with a roll of your eyes, opening the lid of the yogurt disdainfully and giving it a sniff. It smells fine but.. Ugh. You’re not much of a fan of yogurt. You take a bite, and it’s okay you guess.

“What are you planning on doing with the rest of your afternoon, anyway?” She asks as soon as you take another bite of yogurt.

“I uh,” You swallow. “I don’t know, actually. I was thinking I’d be with Steven and Pearl, showing Spinel around, but it seems they’re all doing that without me.” You say, half a frown forming on your face. You kind of realize that you’re way more disappointed by that fact than you had previously figured, but that train of thought is interrupted by the bagel popping out of the toaster. You jump slightly, almost launching your yogurt out of your hands. Amethyst notices but doesn’t make a comment about it.

“Y/N, I know you’re really caring and wanna help, but don’t you think you should take a couple days just for you?” She gives you a look.

“A couple days to what?” You match her look, popping an eyebrow for extra emphasis. “Relax? Like the weeks I just spent doing absolutely nothing on a forgotten planet in the middle of nowhere? I’m good.”

She looks at you, deadpan, and sighs. You notice a bunch of bananas on the top of the fridge that you had missed earlier, and get an idea that’s better than just eating yogurt.

“You’re kind of impossible. I’m telling Steven to not let you help him with any more of his current projects.” She sets the magazine down and cracks her knuckles obnoxiously. “Maybe it will force you to go out and do something for yourself for once.”

“Don’t you dare.” You say in annoyance, grabbing the bananas and blender from the top of the fridge, setting them on the counter. You grab the milk from the fridge and pour a little inside, and dump some of the yogurt in as well. You don’t care for proper proportions, you measure smoothies with your soul.

“I’m literally texting him right now and you can’t stop me.” She grabs for her phone, typing on it quickly.

“You can’t make me relax, Amethyst.” You say, peeling two bananas and tearing them into small enough chunks to blend, putting those in as well with a couple cubes of ice for good measure. “If I want to help out, I’m helping out.”

“Not if I can help it.” You hear her say as you put on the lid of the blender and plug it into the outlet next to it.

You grab your phone to text Steven to dissuade him from whatever Amethyst is saying to him, and press the liquify button on the blender.

A terribly familiar whirring noise fills the room, and your blood runs cold. You freeze on the spot.

You rip the plug from the outlet near violently, silence filling the immediate space. A beat or two passes.

“Uh.” You hear Amethyst say from fifteen feet behind you. “Y/N? You okay?”

You’re staring at the blender, and you can’t get your mouth to move. The chunks of ice shift, light from the afternoon sun hitting it and causing it to sparkle.

“Y/N?” She asks again, and you hear slight shuffling.

There’s this indescribable feeling of fear and dread swirling at the pit of your stomach, and then you feel an arm pulling at your elbow.

“Y/N.” Amethyst reiterates from beside you, and suddenly, you can turn your head to face her.

“Yeah?” You answer, facing her and blinking. She looks at you for a second before answering.

“What was that?” Her brows furrow in concern.

“I, um.” You realize you aren’t hungry anymore. “That was nothing.”

“Bullshit.” She looks offended at your response. “I’ve never seen you react that way before, to like, anything.”

“Uhhhhh, you know what?” You say, feeling like your mouth is working on autopilot at this point. “I’m gonna go out actually.”

You spin around, walking around Amethyst entirely despite her protests, and leave out the front door. You hear it slam shut behind you.

By the time you check the time, it’s nearly five in the afternoon, and you’re in front of the new bakery, Spacestries. You uh.. you didn’t realize you had walked all the way over here. You think you wandered the beach for a while, trying to definitely not think about what happened in the kitchen, with Amethyst as a fucking witness. Embarrassing. Could’ve been worse, you guess - it could have been Pearl there. It’s probably best if you don’t use the blender for a while.

You’re completely annoyed with yourself about all of that, really, and by pushing all of that away you’re trying to not let the rest of your thoughts linger on the other thing you shouldn’t put any more thought into, which are your obvious feelings for Spinel. That area is a whole ass disaster that you’d rather ignore right now. You have a few notifications that you swipe away as soon as they come; your heart pathetically skipping a beat when it sees her name there for a split second - you’re not in the right mood to reply to the messages at the moment. Later.

You sigh, pocketing your phone. You look at the shiny new sign above, squinting at the sun in your eyes, and someone nearly walks into you on the sidewalk. Ugh. You stand there for a second, letting the hot air of summer waft by. You smell fries from somewhere nearby, and your stomach growls. A car honks off in the distance.

It’s not even a busy day out. It’s just another lazy afternoon, something you’ve experienced many, many times in your life. But you find yourself listening to the muted sounds of Beach City, thankful that you’re standing here on a paved sidewalk that was made by humans. Your hair tickles your nose, and you blow air to get it out of your face.

A minute or so passes. You figure you should just go in and buy yourself a cheese roll or something. You don’t know why you’re just standing outside.

You take in a deep breath, and open the door. It chimes as you come in.

It’s cool inside from the air conditioning, and there’s no one behind the counter. You walk in slowly, hearing your footsteps tapping on the floor. There’s a small FM radio off to the side playing the top 40’s that you can barely make out due to all the static. It’s been a while since you’ve heard music.

There’s a lot of pastries on display, and they look good. You wonder if he’s working today. You walk up to the counter leisurely, looking at the glazed fruit tarts on the top display shelf.

“I’LL BE UP FRONT IN A SECOND!” You hear a familiar muffled voice coming from the back room.

“Take your time, Lars. It’s just me.” You reply, hearing your voice not carry very far. You hope he heard you despite the white noise of the AC. There’s a couple more shuffling sounds, as it sounds like he’s rounding the corner.

You see the tray of cream puffs in one hand before Lars walks out, and he’s got another in the other hand, balanced on his hip.

“Y/N? Is that you out ther-” He stops abruptly as soon as he sees your face; and one of the trays slips out of his hand, clattering on the floor loudly.

He opens and closes his mouth. Twice.

“What in the actual fuck happened to you!?” He nearly shouts, eyes wide. He rushes to set the remaining tray on the counter, and completely ignores what is on the floor to get over to where you’re standing.

“Uh..” You pull your sweater sleeves down, AC giving your arms goosebumps. “A lot. Can I have one of your fresh cheese rolls?”

He gives you an incredulous look. “Yeah, as soon as you tell me how you fucking died!? What the hell have I missed in the last fews days while I was out of town!?”

“Cheese roll first, buddy.” You say, and cross your arms.

“Ugh, FINE!” He tosses his hands into the air, and makes quick work of grabbing his freshest roll for you, placing it into your hands with a napkin. He gives you another look.

You take a bite out of it, and it tastes so good that you feel tears prickling the corners of your eyes, and you cannot stop them from forming. Lars seems to take notice.

“Spill. You’re being weird and I’m actually concerned right now.” He puts his hands on his hips. You finish chewing before answering, but he holds up a finger instead. “Wait. Sit down and finish that, I’ll go grab some coffee for the both of us, I just made fresh pot that should be done brewing by now.”

He leaves momentarily to grab the coffee, and you sit down at the little two person table in the corner of the shop. You feel your phone vibrate a few times in your pocket, but you opt to ignore it instead. They can wait; you told Amethyst you were just going out, and your brain can really only deal with so much right now. Namely food, and hyping yourself up to talk to Lars about this.

A few cars pass out on the street outside, and your eyes are glued to the bright blue sky and those giant fluffy clouds that are floating idly by. You take another bite out of the roll, savoring the way the buttery crust melts on your tongue. The song changes to one particular pop number that you hate, and you aren’t even irritated about it. You find yourself having missed the small things.

You hear footsteps approaching from behind you, and Lars sets down two cups of black coffee with a cream puff in front of you. Eh. You’ll deal with the coffee being black with no sweetner for it.

“So,” He sits down, taking a sip of coffee. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate. Was there some kind of freak accident or something?”

You take a sip of coffee before answering, staring at the new plugs in his ears. They’re filled with stars, and it’s kind of cute. Looks nice on him.

“You want a short version, or the whole thing? Because there’s a lot.” You say, exhaling out a long breath. The coffee is good, despite the bitterness.

He looks around his shop for a second, shrugging when his eyes fall back on you. “Business has been extremely slow all day, I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Okay. Well.. technically this was yesterday? Ish? It’s been a blur. Anyway..”

You find yourself opening up to him more than you did with the others, and you think it’s because he might be the only person who maybe understands how you feel in this moment. Human, thrown into too much space bullshit just to try to survive.

“..and yeah. That’s about all of it.” You finish, taking a small sip of your coffee.

Lars puts his face in his hands, sighing exaggeratedly. He’s been patiently listening this entire time, which is surprising for him.

“I need more coffee for this.” He says, getting up immediately to do so. It takes him a minute, but he comes back with a fresh cup for you both, and you’re thankful for it.

“Thanks.” You take a sip, and it’s nearly hot enough to burn your tongue.

“You know, I wouldn’t believe half the shit you just said if I didn’t actually know you. That’s nuts and utterly awful, even for it having to do with more gem bullshit.” He takes a drink, eyes roaming your face and hair.

“Yeah. I know.” You reply. “But what is life around Steven if not life-threatening and ridiculous? You know how it goes.”

“Yeahhh.. you’re telling me. Oh, has Amethyst texted you since your ‘incident’ earlier?” He asks, lifting his hands to do the air quotations with his index fingers.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve ignored every notification that has popped up on my phone since leaving the house earlier.” You feel another buzz ironically inside your pocket. Ugh.

“You can’t ignore all your problems forever you know, you should probably text them back sooner rather than later. I’m sure they’re worried about you.”

“I’ll get to it in a bit.” You say with a huff.

“Hm.. it’s kind of funny how I’ve also been stranded against my will somewhere away from civilization, now that I think about it. It just wasn’t with an alien.. and it was at least on Earth.”

“Yeah that’s a weird coincidence, I didn’t even realize.” You feel half your face perk in a wry smile. “You’re lucky you had Sadie instead of Spinel though, Sadie’s.. so much nicer.” He rolls his eyes at that. “Can I ask you something Lars? If you don’t mind.”

“Yeah? Of course.” He replies, perking an eyebrow in question.

“How did you deal with dying? Or uh, anything of what happened to you in space?” You avoid his eyes for a moment, looking out the window. You can see the heat rising off the pavement from here.

“Oh, god.” You hear him take another drink of his coffee. “Not well, at first. The off-colors helped me tremendously in dealing with my problems. I’m pretty whatever about the whole thing now, honestly. I take it day by day, and keeping busy doing what I love at this shop is helping. Also, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, as thankful as I am to be alive.” He points to his pink hair and face with his index finger, raising an eyebrow. “I hate the looks I get when I leave Beach City.”

“I’ll get used to it in time, probably. Still surprised when I look in the mirror." You sigh. You fix your eyes on the cup in front of you. “I also don’t want the gems to worry about me, and about what happened.”

“It’s something that took me quite a while to get used to. You’re wayyy more adaptable than I am, though, so I’m sure you’ll be a little quicker with it.” He says, running a hand through his hair and taking another drink of his coffee. “I’m sure they’ll worry about you regardless, and there isn’t really anything you can do about it. Kinda happens when they consider you family. Also, you’ve been through a lot. This isn’t just, like, breaking a leg or something.”

“I made the best of a shitty situation, and I’m alive and okay, it really isn’t a huge deal. I don’t want them walking on eggshells around me, or coddling me. I hate that. I’m not seventeen and stupid anymore.”

Lars stares at you like you’re definitely seventeen and stupid, expression that says ‘I cannot believe you right now.’

“You’re literally traumatized, you fucking idiot.” He says, completely exasperated. “Stop acting like what you’ve been through is as common as the cold. It isn’t. It’s going to take you time, and them some time. Talk to them if you’re that bothered with it.”

You shrug at him, affronted. “It’s whatever. I just want a normal life again.” Is what you hear coming out of your mouth.

“Your life stopped being normal the moment you accepted that babysitting job with the gems.” He rolls his eyes at you again, and you wanna kick him under the table. Just a little. “How are the gems dealing with Spinel by the way? I bet they thought they’d never have to fight another gem again, sheesh.”

“I was a little worried, but I think they’ll be fine honestly. They’ve dealt with worse. It probably helped that I was there to defend and vouch for her, really.” Someone passes the shop window, distracting your eyes for a second. A beat or two goes by, another car speeds down the street, and you wonder how Spinel’s doing right now. You hope Steven works his friendship magic on her, and you hope they become quick friends. They’re kind of like, two of the most important people to you. Oh, fuck. You think to yourself. Quick question, self? When the fuck did Spinel become that important to you? What the hell? Was it somewhere between hating her and dying for her?! You get the feeling you’re being watched all of a sudden so you look back over to Lars, and he’s studying your face with enough concentration to make you nervous.

“I feel like you’re still sitting on something that you want to talk about, but you’re too chickenshit to say it.” He says, full seriousness. You break eye contact, looking at your cup of coffee instead and sigh.

You and Lars have never been what you’d call good friends. Recently he’s been a lot better and you can actually talk to him like he’s a peer since he came back from space, but he used to be such a dick to Steven that you basically hated him, and you never hid that. You have no idea how he can see through you so well.

“How can you even tell?”

“Your posture isn’t relaxed whatsoever. You’ve been sitting like someone strapped a yard stick to your spine.” He answers bluntly. “You’re normally a sloucher.”

“Don’t read me like that ever again.” You scowl. “I’m sitting on it because I’m not sure I want to verbalize it out loud, okay? And I haven’t talked to anyone about it..” You say, ignoring his pointed look at you.

“Y/N, unless you’re going to say that you want to move back in with your shitty parents, or that all of a sudden you believe in the existence of saint nicholas, it can’t be that strange to say considering everything else you’ve said.” He leans his chin on his hand, nudging his coffee cup slightly with his fingers. You think, maybe.. maybe you can trust him with this too. Another shadow passes by the window, but you ignore it in favor of the swirling thoughts in your head.

“I have feelings for Spinel,” You blurt out with about as much grace as ripping off a band-aid; just as he takes another drink of his coffee. He chokes on it, sputtering everywhere - the entry door swings open with a chime and a customer walks in. He stands up suddenly, coughing into his hand.

“Give me just a second,” He says, turning to the customer, and rushes away from the table to go cough violently into the sink behind the counter.

The customer stares at him.

“Are you open?” They ask, even though they just came through the open, unlocked bakery door. You know, with the clearly printed hours on the glass.

He gives a thumbs up, coughing into the sink again and wiping his face.

“Yeah, just come up to the counter and I’ll help you out.” He says, a few coughs coming out here and there. He gives you a particular look from across the shop, and you’re not sure how to interpret it.

Your heart is beating wildly out of nervousness, and you kind of regret your honesty a little. Having feelings for a gem can’t be.. that weird. Right? Today is taking its toll on you already, and you’ve only been awake for a few short hours. You tune out Lars and the customer’s interactions, and pull out your phone instead. You should answer your messages.

You can kind of see the customer glancing at you in the corner, and you try ignoring it. You answer Amethyst messages first to let her know that you’re fine.

[02:48] Amethyst: dude, dont just leave

[02:48] Amethyst: esp after something like that [02:48] Amethyst: im worried about you, you know you can talk to me about stuff if you want

[02:48] Amethyst: or if u want a lounge buddy for distractions ig

[02:48] Amethyst: im here.

You feel bad that you rushed out like that on her, but you couldn’t stand in that kitchen anymore and you needed to be anywhere else but right there.

[05:32] Y/N: I’m fine, Amethyst.. I just needed some air.

[05:32] Y/N: Your concern is appreciated. Really.

[05:32] Y/N: Just needed to run away for a bit.

[05:32] Y/N: And I know. Thank you.

The customer talking to Lars is asking way too many questions about the gluten in the fruit fritters, and you can feel Lars’ annoyance from here. You see replies from Steven, and read those next.

[03:10] Steven: Of course I’m your favorite, who else has this Universe charm? ;)

[03:10] Steven: I’m gonna pick up pizza for us later, you deserve some good food after all of this, lol.

[03:10] Steven: And what’s Amethyst saying about not letting you help me out?

[03:10] Steven: Are you not resting like I told you to? I said to take it easy. I know we were planning on adding in a bunch of new classes and recruiting more people to teach them, but I can have Pearl help me out with that. Maybe Buck. He owes me a big favor anyway.

[03:10] Steven: It doesn’t matter, I was gonna tell you to take the next week for yourself anyway, because you need to chill.

[03:11] Steven: I’ll be home in a couple hours, and if you wanted to cancel wednesday movie night, I understand. :(

You stare at your phone, trying to not be irritated like you want to. You don’t want to be replaced, responsibility-wise. You like helping Steven out. It makes you feel useful, and if you aren’t being useful, what’s the point. You feel like no matter what you say to him, he won’t care though. He’s really stubborn like that. You’ll take the next few days off for yourself regardless.

[05:35] Y/N: I’m just out rn okay, didn’t want to be cooped up at home. I went out for a walk because of how much I missed the sand.

[05:35] Y/N: And no, I think I need movie night now more than ever lol. Kinda just don’t want to lay around in bed.

Mere seconds pass of you replying to his texts, and he’s answered you back.

[05:35] Steven: Want it to just be the two of us, or would you be okay with me inviting Spinel and the others?

[05:36] Steven: I might’ve hyped up Princess Diaries to her earlier, and well, this may be an easy way for her to be more.. at ease with everyone.

Oh thank god he asked. You didn’t want to seem desperate for her presence enough to suggest it. Also, he’s not wrong. You smile slightly to yourself as you reply to him.

[05:36] Y/N: Please do. :) That sounds fun.

Lars and the customer are now going back and forth about prices. You know he can handle himself, clearly, but you keep an ear perked in case this person goes full on karen-mode. You open Spinel’s messages last.

[02:52] Spinel: oops that wasnt what i was trying to send

[02:52] Spinel: [attachment received]

It’s another blurry picture, but it’s a candid shot of Pearl making a funny face while criticizing Steven about something. It’s actually fucking hilarious. You kinda want to send it to Amethyst.

[02:52] Spinel: shes been like this the last five minutes

[02:52] Spinel: its fun to watch

[02:52] Spinel: earth’s organisms are fun though so far

[02:53] Spinel: steven threw some food at the birds and i almost caught one

[02:53] Spinel: it pecked me

You try not to laugh out loud at the mental image, wishing desperately that you could’ve seen this.

[05:36] Y/N: I was going to ask why, except I know the answer to that already. You deserved being pecked, stop heckling local wildlife you fucking birdbrain

Before you can type up another message, you hear the door jingle again as the customer leaves - drawing you out of looking directly at only your phone. You must’ve tuned out the last of their interactions, because Lars is standing in front of the table with crossed arms.

He’s staring at you, half an eyebrow perked; like he’s trying to read your mind. You can hear his foot tapping on the cold tile floor. You are not going to lie to yourself - if you could get up and abscond, you’d do exactly just that. He suddenly whips his arm out, placing it upon the back of your chair.

“Don’t even think about running away from this conversation, Y/N.” He says, the radio crackling a bit in the background.

“Why would you think I want to run, Lars?” You avoid his eyes out of nervousness.

“Because I can see it in your eyes.” He plops back down in his seat, and sighs. His eyes haven’t moved from his gaze on you. “So. What the actual fuck?”

“Look. I didn’t even realize that I had these feelings until a couple days ago.. technically. Days on Golgotha. Not here, I mean.”

He brings his hand up to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief and scrunching his eyes. “You’re telling me.. that you have feelings for a gem that tried to kill Steven and yourself, after being stuck on a different planet with her for weeks?”

You’re staring at him, unmoving. A second or three passes.

“Don’t put it so plainly out there like that..” You groan. “I already feel stupid about this.”

“I’ve known you for years now, and you’ve refused any kind of prospect of romance. I watched you turn down several people, including fucking JENNY of all people. Where the hell is this coming from!?” God he’s so worked up about this that he’s half talking with his hands.

“Yeah because I was busy with Steven! Also I just wasn’t ..interested in anyone.” You level him with a look, slightly miffed about all of this.

“What made her different?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!” You hear your voice raise, heart beating wildly in your chest. You can feel the adrenaline running through you. “At first I thought it was because she didn’t treat me like a fragile meatbag! Or maybe because she took my shit and threw it back at me!! AND THEN SHE STARTED TO GET ALL CARING, LIKE, SHE ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT MY WELL-BEING? GENUINELY? And she wanted to be my friend EVEN after I treated her like shit!”

“Oh, my god. You DO have feelings for her!!!” He shouts accusingly, pointing his finger directly at you.

“I WASN’T LYING YOU IDIOT.”

“Well?! What are you going to do about it?!” He implores, leaning into the table - practically knocking off his half cup of coffee.

“Nothing, probably,” You say, avoiding his eyes again.

“You’re joking.”

“What if I’ve been reading signals all weird, and she thinks humans are super gross?”

He levels you with a Look, one you deem The Judgemental Gaze of Judgement. He sighs for like the fifth time this conversation.

“Ugh! Give me your phone.”

“NO.”

“Let me talk to her!”

“DEFINITELY NO.” You hear your own voice echo throughout the room.

“Okay, so, you’re just going to steep in your own feelings and pretend you don’t have them? Really, Y/N?”

“Well.. no. Maybe. I don't know.”

“You’re being stupid.” He says with a roll of his eyes. “What are you actually afraid of?”

“...what if she can only see me as a friend?” You reply, a bit nervously.

“It’s not the worst thing ever, honestly. At least she’d still be your friend, take it from me..” He glances at his phone on the table for a moment, a notification popping up. “But I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet, but if she’s everything you’ve said to me so far.. I think you might be a little dumb about this.”

“I’m not saying you’re right, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

“If I happen to see her in the next week, I’m telling her if you haven’t by then.” He says with a perk of his eyebrow, tone half mocking.

“If I catch wind of that happening I’ll set your shop on fire.” You reply, deadpan. His eyes get large.

“No arson!” He points to the center of your torso, like this would be a thing you’d actually do. “Anyway, I gotta get back to making a new batch of what I dropped earlier before the delivery I’m supposed to receive in an hour gets here. You’re welcome to stay if you wanna help me out. I had 3 part timers quit in the last month.”

“Bet they left because you suck at being a manager.” You say, pocketing your cell phone and standing up. “And as much as I’d like to keep busy right now, it’s best I be getting back soon anyway.”

“I’m a great manager, for the record! Just unlucky. Thankfully the off-colors help out plenty, even if most of them are preoccupied doing things for themselves now. Let me know if you know anyone that wants any part time hours? I’m flexible.” He also stands up, pushing his chair in and grabbing both cups of coffee - now empty. He gives you a look before smiling a little. “I’m glad you’re alive and well, Y/N. And really. Talk to Spinel. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll feel a lot better getting it off your chest.”

“Yeah, yeahhhhhh. We’ll see.” You reply with an eye roll, and head out the door.

On your way home you stop by the boardwalk by Funland. The sun is beating down on you, but you don’t really mind this heat. It isn’t nearly as humid as on the surface of that awful place. It’s almost lovely compared to it. You sit on one of the nearby benches to zone out for a couple minutes, watching people and their dogs pass by as you internally fight yourself.

You should talk to Spinel. You think briefly that you should just text her about it, and then immediately swat that thought away. That’s the cowards route. Get it the fuck together. You’ve been through so much shit already, and you’re this hung up on your feelings. Also, Spinel deserves a lot more than just a stupid text.

Oh my godddd, you do not want to put too much thought into this shit, it will just make you even more anxious around her. Ugh. Seriously, you've been through waaay more anxiety inducing scenarios than this, what's your deal? You feel your phone vibrate with a notification, and you pull it up to see that it’s a message from Steven saying that they’ll be home soon. It’s a bit after six by now, and you send him a reply saying that you’ll see him there.

The distant sounds of the crashing waves of the ocean put you at ease. You pocket your phone, and you notice Mr. Smiley talking to a couple kids with cotton candy forty feet away or so. He sees you, and you can see his eyebrows raise in confusion all the way over from here.

Ugh. You’re kind of tired of explaining what’s happened to you. You get up and leave to avoid any kind of conversation about it, opting to just go straight home instead.

You take your flip flops off as you walk through the sand up to Steven’s house. It’s warm, and the salty sea breeze tickles your skin. It’s making you a little reluctant to go up the stairs. You’re halfway up when you hear muffled voices coming from inside, quite a few actually. The rest of them must have got here before you did, oops. You hope they don’t implore too much about where you’ve been and why it’s taken so long.

Once you open the front door you feel a couple eyes turn to you, and you swallow the weird anxiety in your gut.

“Y/N!” Peridot shouts from across the room, and you set your flip flops down on the ground near the door. “Jeez, took you long enough to get home.”

“Sorry, I took the long way home.” You reply, seeing her with Bismuth, Lapis and Pearl all chatting animatedly about something on the couch with each other.

“You guys only got here a couple minutes ago anyway.” Amethyst snorts, walking into the kitchen after she gives you a discreet look-over to make sure you’re visibly okay.

“Yeah but she’s the last one here, and that means she gets cleanup duty!” She retorts, giving you a pointed smirk from across the room.

“I feel like I should be exempt from cleaning duty for the next couple of weeks.” You walk over to the kitchen where Steven and Spinel are talking to Garnet about something, and your heart does this stupid, stupid little flip when you see her with the others. Her eyes gravitate over to you as she’s talking, something sparkling in them when she sees that it’s you - and tears her eyes away back to the others quickly.

What the hell. That was kinda weird. Steven looks over to you, and then to Peridot after he hears you.

“I’ve volunteered to take over her responsibilities this week, anyway, so suck it Peridot.” He says, sticking his tongue out at her childishly.

“You mean it?” You reply, feeling immense amounts of affection bubbling up inside for him.

“Yeah, well, you’re not wrong about being exempt for now. Also I just love you.” He grins, shrugging at you. You walk over to his side, ruffling his thick brown curls.

“Steeeeven, what would I do without you?” You say, and you see Spinel watching you out of the corner of her eye as Garnet talks to her. “I miss when you were shorter than me, who am I supposed to use as a chinrest now? Amethyst? She’s too short.”

“Hey!” Amethyst huffs, flipping some of her hair over her shoulder. “Being this short is one of my best qualities.”

“I thought it was your obnoxious personality?” You raise an eyebrow in mockery at her.

“I thought that was yours.” You hear Spinel say as your heart jumps into your throat, and you whip your face to hers.

“You of all people cannot say that to me!” You hiss out at her automatically without missing a beat, and the others burst out laughing. Even Garnet. You feel your face heat up as Spinel grins, and whatever thoughts you had about her acting weird earlier vanish. When the laughter dies down, Steven looks over to her.

“I’ve gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that talks to Y/N that way and gets away with it.” He says, still smiling and shaking his head.

“Really?” Her eyes light up at that, and she gives you a particular look that makes you want to smack her. “I guess I must be kinda special or somethin’.”

“No, you’re just too stupid to realize when I’m telling you off.” You reply, and she splutters with a glare while the others laugh boisterously again.

It’s good to be in this kind of company again, you think.

Steven grabs the three boxes of pizza on the counter that you just noticed were there. The smell is very enticing. “Since we’re all here, I’m gonna go set up the movie so I can finally eat because I am starrrrrving.” He says, dragging it on a bit dramatically as he walks up the stairs over to his loft bed. “You guys can join whenever!”

You follow him immediately, mainly because you want food. Also, Spinel’s looking at you in a way that makes you hyper aware of literally every single thing you’re doing, and you need to sit down and calm yourself before you have some kind of self-induced heart attack.

“You wanna sit on the bed? You get first pick since.. y’know.” He looks at you, setting the pizza boxes down on the floor by the foot of his bed.

“Nah, I want the beanbag.” You say as the others make their way up here, and you grab said seat from the corner of his room, dragging it to the spot you want on the far left opposite of the stairs and next to Steven’s bed. Peridot likes to throw things during dramatic moments and you’d prefer to not be placed in the crossfire again.

“Suuuit yourself.” He says, popping the dvd case open and inserting the disk into the system below the tv. Amethyst plops on his bed with a satisfied sigh, rolling over to the edge to grab a slice from the boxes on the floor.

The rest of them come in, finding places to sit and lounge - all of them as loud as ever. You see Spinel off to the side by Pearl, and she looks like she doesn’t know where to sit. Eventually her eyes land on you - your heart doing a little flip, and you make a point to pat the ground next to you. Her eyes light up instantly. Not like you saved a seat for her or anything.

She gets over to you - having to stretch her leg waaay over to the side of the multiple gems in the center of the room making a commotion loudly over who gets to sit in front of the tv. She sits down next to you; wrapping her arms around her knees, her body language a little more at ease beside you than she was earlier.

You ignore your brain screaming about the implications. Just act normal, fucking idiot.

“You have fun today?” You turn your face to ask her, Bismuth bellowing out a laugh at something behind you.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting them to be so.. welcoming.” She says a bit quietly so the others don’t hear, pulling her gloved hand up to scratch at her cheek sheepishly. “I still don’t feel like I deserve this.”

“Well, you do.” You lean forward, grabbing a slice of pizza and a napkin. “So you better get used to it.” Before you even take a bite, you notice her staring at you. Steven’s cursing out the dvd player for giving him issues, and Pearl’s tutting him for his language. “What? You wanna try?”

“No. It just looks weird.” She replies, scrunching her face.

“Spinel.” You look at her, deadpan. “Unless you try it, you don’t get to judge pizza. Even Amethyst likes it.” You take a bite, melty cheese easily pulling off the slice. Her eyes go kinda wide, watching you - and then her face gets suspiciously smug.

“Wow, what is that? Kinda similar to how much I can stretch-” You give her a kick with your bare foot, and she chokes out a laugh. You roll your eyes, taking another bite. Her constant teasing makes your heart grow fonder, and that fact irritates you.

“Finally!” Steven says, pressing the play button on the menu. Guess he finally got it to work. He sits on his bed where his pillows are, Amethyst up at the front. The others are lounging around the rest of the room as the volume dies down.

The movie starts to play, and you settle comfortably in your beanbag. Once you’re done adjusting yourself, Spinel leans half her side and props her elbow up on your chair, resting her chin on her hand. She’s close enough to where you can feel the heat emanating off her slightly. She’s most comfortable around you, clearly.

You’ve seen the princess diaries many, many times as it’s one of Steven’s favorite movies - he starts singing ‘stupid cupid’ and you join along, earning a wink from him. Spinel makes comments here and there about the absurdities of royalty here, and several human traditions that the other gems laugh and nod in agreement. She seems to like it though, as she laughs pretty hard at a couple scenes.

You're content, you feel. You didn't think you'd get to experience this like, ever, with her.

Two thirds through the movie and several slices of pizza later, you notice Spinel watching you more than the movie out of the corner of your eye. You try not to be self-conscious about it, but you wish you could ask her if you have something on your face without alerting the others around you. She lays her arm down on your beanbag, parallel to yours resting against your thigh; and you have a quiet moment of panic because your immediate thought is to grab her hand and hold it.

Okay. You need to calm the fuck down, first of all. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. Also, the thought of anyone of them seeing that makes you want to run outside into the ocean to never return. You spend the rest of this movie consumed with so many thoughts about Spinel beside you that you don’t realize that the movie has already ended with the credits rolling, and the others are chatting and stretching their limbs from their stationary positions on the floor.

“Okay, do we want to watch another movie, or call it a night guys?” Steven asks, and a few of the others immediately all say they want to watch another movie.

“Okay but what exactly are we watching?” You turn your face to look at him. “Because I don’t want to watch the sequel.”

“But I loooooooooove the sequel!!!” He cries out, putting a hand on his chest in mock offense. “It has Chris Pine’s dreamy eyes!”

“There’s another one?” Spinel interjects, raising an eyebrow. “But they didn’t really leave room for continuation.”

“Exactly my point.” You reply. “It’s a bad sequel.”

“It’s not! You just hate good fun!” Steven whines.

“I kinda wanna watch it. I like the part when she pushes him into the fountain.” Amethyst chuckles, stuffing a room-temperature slice of pizza into her mouth in a single bite.

“Sweet! Then we’re watching it.” He says smugly, getting up to change the dvd out.

“You’re so biased it’s not even funny.” You groan, flopping your head back on the beanbag dramatically. “Next time I get to pick.”

“No! You always pick horror movies!” You see Steven whip his head towards you from the corner of your eye.

“Alien is a classic though. And besides, you always pick fucking romantic comedies my guy.” You retort.

“Yeah, how can you not get enough of them?” He sighs happily. “They always end good.”

“Alien ends good..” You pout, and hear him snort a little. “The cat lives.”

The movie starts, and you try to not zone out after the first ten minutes. Spinel makes several comments about ‘who the fuck is this guy? Where’s that guy she kissed in the last movie?’ and you get the joy of being the one to explain to her that sometimes, sequels are just Like That.

An hour or so in of you only half paying attention to the movie, and you think you see Spinel’s eyes droop.

Is she.. is she tired?

Another twenty minutes pass, and yeah, she’s definitely tired. She’s leaning against her hand on your beanbag again, a mere foot or so from yourself. You catch her drifting off a little - hand slipping - quietly startling herself awake. It’s so cute. You’ve never seen her this sleepy before. It’s strange, gems don’t get tired.. You think, briefly, of what that might imply. When was the last time she slept, you wonder? You worry a little about it - clearly she needs some rest if she’s nodding off right here.

By the time the movie is done and the credits are rolling, she’s got half her head curled into her arm that’s digging into your side, completely asleep. It makes your heart swell to see her like this. Steven turns his bedside lamp on, illuminating most of the room in a warm glow.

“Well! I’m beat.” He says, grinning and turning his face to you. “Did Spinel like the movies?”

“I’d ask her, but..” You look at him, shrugging and pointing to her.

“Is she asleep?” He whispers, some of the others looking over in your direction and away from their quiet conversations. For some reason your heart rate speeds up.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting her to pass out. It isn’t really like her to be this tired.” You reply. Your legs are numb from lack of circulation, and you stretch them out in front of you.

“Spinel.. sleeps?” An eyebrow shoots up into his hairline that has you feeling strange about what you had just said.

“I mean, yeah? It’s not that weird, Amethyst does it sometimes.”

“Yeah, that’s because I’m just lazy. But you don’t see me sleeping on you.” Amethyst chuckles lowly, a slow grin spreading on her face.

“What the hell are you implying?” You ask, feeling your face start to heat up.

“Nothing! She must trust you a lot is all, sleeping like that.” She laughs a little. “She looks kind of like a lapdog.”

“Don’t call her a dog, jeez.” You roll your eyes, pushing down the blush on your face.

“Look at you, defending her even when she can’t defend herself, when earlier you were so easy to insult her.” Pearl says from across the room, putting a finger to her lip and looking smug. “You know…”

“Alright, enough picking on Y/N. I wanna go to bed.” Steven says with a yawn, and the others file out of his loft down the stairs without much of a fight.

“Does she have a bed in her new place?” You watch her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing.

“No, er, she has a bedroom though. Wasn’t expecting her to be the sleeping type, honestly. I’ll get with Bismuth tomorrow about it. Shouldn’t take long, though. She can sleep on the couch tonight if anything.” He says, taking his socks off and flinging them across the other side of his room into the pile of laundry he has there.

"Alright." You say, thinking about several things at once. Hm. She looks so soft right now, and it's taking like, all of your self control to not stroke her head. It sucks that you've got to wake her.

Steven gets up to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth before sleeping, and makes a comment about his floor better not ‘be occupied’ when he comes back. You roll your eyes, smiling at him fondly. You love his teen attitude.

Very gently, you shake Spinel's shoulders a little. You're actually surprised when she lifts her head a little, slow blinking and confusion all over her face. She's got lines pressed into her face where she slept a little too hard against her arm. It's extremely endearing.

"Did I pass out?" She asks, rubbing her eyes but still looking very drowsy.

"Yeah. We finished the other movie. The others went off on their own, and Steven's going to sleep."

You lead the gem down the stairs, careful to not let her sleep-heavy self trip. You sit her on the couch, and walk away to grab the spare blankets from the cupboard for her. You pass Steven coming out of the bathroom on your way back over, him giving the both of you a peace sign and telling you to get decent sleep. He also apologises to Spinel in case she hears any snoring coming from him.

Once he’s out of sight, you place the spare blankets and pillow next to her on the couch.

“Are you gonna be okay out here? Let me know if you need anything.” Leaning your hands on your hips, you give her a quick look-over. She’s tired, clearly, but a little more awake than before.

She looks at you hesitantly, like she wants to say something, but is unsure how.

"What?" You whisper at her. "Is there something wrong?"

"Um.." She looks away momentarily, like she's nervous to admit something. It's making you anxious.

"Spit it out, Spinel." You say, and it comes out a little harsher than intended.

"I don't know if I can sleep. I've had.. really bad nightmares every time I've tried, so I stopped trying. It's been weeks.." She trails off, avoiding your eyes. "That nap earlier was the most solid sleep I've had in a while."

Oh. You.. you weren't expecting her to say that. You feel horrible about it, actually..

"Do you want to sleep with me?" You hear the words coming out of your mouth, horrified at what it kind of implied. "I-I mean, um, maybe having another person next to you might help you sleep?" You quickly correct yourself, feeling your face heat up in mortification. Yeah yeah idiot, ask the gem to sleep with you god what the hell is wrong with you.

Thankfully, you think she’s too tired to really catch on to that, as she kind of looks a little.. sheepish when her eyes lock on to yours.

“You’re not just sayin’ that, right? To be nice?” You think you see her wring her hands nervously in her lap, and you’re confused by it. Why the hell is she nervous?

"You think I'm purposefully nice?"

"Well.." She gives you a look.

"Come on." You say with a sigh. "My bed is big enough for the both of us, and it's comfier than this couch."

She follows you to your bedroom, and your heartbeats pick up pace. Calm down. Sure, this is like, completely new territory for the both of you. She's seen where you live, what you're like around other people, and now she's about to see your room. It almost feels.. strangely intimate. You have no idea why this particular thought puts you on edge. Like you're.. waiting on something.

You open your bedroom door, the both of you shuffling inside and closing the door behind you with a solid click. She looks around at the walls, intrigued by many of the things you've put up as decoration. You watch her for a moment, your brain repeating the words 'Spinel is in my bedroom' like a mantra.

"Hmmm." Is all she says, and you feel a little insulted for some reason.

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me by saying that?"

"I like it. Reminds me of you." She gives you a cheeky smile, and you don't know if you'd rather slap her or kiss her.

All of a sudden you realize you're alone with her, like actually alone, without anyone having the ability to hear you. Not that there is anything to hear..

You shake your skull, dismissing the thoughts in your head. You're not going there today, brain. It's time to sleep.

"Before I lay down, I'm gonna change into better clothes. Make yourself comfortable." You say as you walk over to your closet, and immediately grab a tank top because you know you'll be warm. You also grab another pair of shorts. You make quick work of going out to the bathroom to change and to brush your teeth, and by the time you get back to your bedroom, she's looking at all the photostrips you have with Steven.

You pull back your blankets, sitting down on the surface of your bed and setting your phone on your nightstand.

"Aren't you tired?" You say with a yawn, and she turns to you.

"Very." She's halfway to the bed when you stop her before she gets in, and she gives you a perplexed look.

"This is gonna sound weird, but I don't want you in my bed wearing those."

"My.. clothes?" She gives you a look, half a grin forming on her face - her canines shining a little in the dim light of your bedroom. "Are 'ya saying you want me in there naked?"

"No, stupid! It's just, you wear those clothes everywhere, and it feels unsanitary to-"

"Yeah, yeah, calm down you brat. I get it.” She gets this kind of.. excited look on her face, eyes brightening. “Am I gonna get to steal your clothes then?”

“Pick whatever you want from my closet I guess.” You say, and watch her rifle through your clothes.

“You have a lot of sweaters in here.”

“Sweaters are comfy. They’re my favorite thing to wear.” You state, the feeling of being on edge still fully not going away.

It’s strange, being this casual with her. Like you didn’t meet her under the circumstances you did, and didn’t go through all of that with her either. You haven’t really had many close friends in your life, but you like to think that if you had met her differently, you’d still eventually form some kind of tentative.. friendship, or whatever you call this, with her. Halfway friends, halfway something else. See now you’re just being too hopeful, because technically she hasn’t brought up feelings at all. Or that kiss. Or whatever the fuck she was going to say before she left you on the hill.

“-were you wanting to watch me change, or should I go to the bathroom?” You’re torn out of your thoughts by the sound of her voice, and you feel your face heat up as you tear your eyes away. How embarrassing. It's not like she can read your thoughts though, right?

“Was spacing, sorry. I’ll look away.” You keep your face turned towards your phone, checking the time and thinking momentarily about setting an alarm. You hear the shuffling sounds of moving fabric and boots hitting the ground, and forego the alarm altogether. Who’re you kidding yourself, you’re not waking up early.

Before you realize it, she’s pulling the covers away on the other side of you and you feel a weight dipping into the mattress beside you. You're getting jitters in your stomach as you turn to catch her eye, because she's got one of your oversized Sadie Killer band tees on that's large enough that the top half of her gem is peeking out, and her hair isn't up in twintails anymore and now you're just staring at this point. The fact that you can see the entirety of her neck as well as the area around her collarbones has you feeling some way that you just know is absolutely showing on your face. You've never seen her show this much skin.

"What.." She gets this sort of stubbornly shy look when she realizes you're staring at her, her cheeks coloring faintly. She looks so different like this.. vulnerable, mostly. She doesn't have her gloves on, and you're pretty sure she's wearing a pair of your shorts as well because you can see her bare legs. "Is there something on my face? Don't give me that look."

"No, I just wasn't expecting to see you with your hair down."

"It doesn't look weird does it? I wasn't-"

"Shut up, you look cute.. and very non-threatening." You say, throwing in the jab with a bit of a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, scowling a bit. You think you see her cheeks darken ever so slightly, but it could also be a trick of the dim light in your room and the lines on her cheeks. You'd love to see just how far you can push those buttons of hers sometime. The look on her face when she's frustrated is probably one of your favorites, but you'd only ever admit that to yourself.

"Oh, I'll show you threatening.." She replies with a glint in her eye, the corner of her lips twitching.

"Pfft, go to sleep. You're about as threatening as a chihuahua." You retort, feeling that smirk grow a little wider, but also seeing her reach for her cell phone. "Spinel, I forbid you from looking that up until the morning."

"Uggggggghhhh, you can't tell me what to do!" She flops down onto the bed next to you, magenta hair messily all around her head. She fixes it with a huff, giving you a dirty look that you find amusing as you lower yourself into the blankets you're sharing with her. "If I wasn't so tired I'd fight you."

"Oh, I'm sure." You reply with a chuckle, turning to the center of the bed to face her.

She turns her head to look at you, face drawn in a glare and yet her eyes are so very warm. Your eyes are caught here with hers for a moment, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. Two.. three seconds pass, and you're pretty sure she's looking at your mouth. She looks like she's about to say something, her lips parting ever so slightly.

And then she flops over to her other side, and you're left laying there wondering what in the fuck was that.

Ugh. You hate girls. And aliens.

"Don't let me sleep forever." She mumbles, and you lean over to your lamp to switch it off.

"No promises." The room is blanketed in darkness in a single click, and you switch on your salt lamp before leaning your head down on your pillow, back flat against the bed. There's still a tiny bit of light coming from the glow of the moon through the blinds, and you pull your blanket up to your chest. You try getting comfortable, and it's.. fairly difficult when you're hyper aware of the person next to you.

"Would it be too much to ask if you could.. y'know.." You hear her say, almost too quiet for you to hear. You think your heart does a little backflip inside your chest.

"Are you asking me to cuddle you?!" You reply, barely being able to hold the mirth in your voice back.

You hear her sigh aggravatingly, and you roll over to put an arm around her waist before she can protest.

"You are so annoying." She spits out.

"Whatever. I knew you liked being the little spoon." You grin smugly behind her back, siphoning all the warmth from her as you can. Your knees are almost hitting the back of hers, and because of how squishy your bed is, this is the closest you think you've ever been to her as you're basically flush with her body. It's comfortable, and intimate, and you're trying to not think about how easy it'd be to just.. confess your feelings to her.

"Shut it." You hear her say; and you just know she's rolling her eyes even if you can't see her, and smiling regardless.

Silence envelops the both of you, and you're feeling sleep start to catch up with you when all of a sudden you feel her arm move, and then her soft fingers are tentatively being entwined with yours.

Your heart speeds up tremendously and all you can hear is the blood pounding in your ears. Your face is on fucking fire, and you can feel it. She has to know that you're having an internal fucking panic right now, you're like a hundred percent sure your hand is shaking. What the fuck do you do? Are you gonna talk about this? Is this what's happening?

A mere minute passes that feels like a lifetime of you fighting with yourself. As soon as you open your mouth to say something, you hear steady sounds of breathing coming from her.

Oh.

She's fallen asleep holding your hand.

You blow out the breath you didn't realize you were holding, and stifle the laugh that wants to come out of your mouth.

You think, maybe, that you love her.

You watch the back of her head until you get tired, and fall asleep fairly easily, her hand warm in yours.

#spinel x reader #su #spinel #steven universe #distant lands #my fic #part one of end lol #its long as FUCK

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fanfoolishness · 5 years

Text

Growing Things

The road to recovery is a long one, but the journey is easier with good company. Steven and Connie work in the garden and discuss the past and future. Connverse, 2797 words, a little angst, a lot of fluff.

(A sequel to my Steven-gets-therapy stories Full Disclosure and ice cream sundaes that asks, what if Prickly Pair had occurred in a healthy way?)

***

A throb of power, a humming in his ears, a light, a song. Rage boiled in his chest; he sobbed into his hands, gasping with the weight of it. Pink light shimmered around him. It built itself into a cage of lies and fears, and he flung his hands out, fingers sliding down its smooth surface. As it closed in around him it changed into a mirror that glinted and rippled. He tried to hide his face, but he could see how much he looked like her --

Steven woke up suddenly, breathing hard, sweaty and trembling. I’m here, I’m here, he remembered. He ran a shaky hand through his unruly hair, wiping the sweat away.

A knock at the sliding door startled him, and he looked up, fighting momentary panic. The fear dissolved when he saw Connie waving at him through the glass. He nodded to her and she let herself in with the key he’d given her ages ago.

“Hey!” she said happily, but the smile on her face quickly faded. “Are you okay?”

Steven took a few breaths. Focus, then let it go. No feeling lasts forever. “No,” he said, simply, honestly. Another breath. “Give me a minute. I think I will be.”

She sat down beside him, kicking off her shoes and curling up on the bed. She leaned against him and settled her head on his shoulder. It was one of her newest favorite spots to lean on him, and he relaxed into her, his breathing slowing.

“Another nightmare?” Connie asked, hugging him. He dug his hands into his thighs, gripping hard at first, then gradually relaxing until his knuckles were no longer white.

“Yeah. Not a flashback or anything. Just me, stuck in my own head.” He paid attention to how he felt, the way Connie felt against him, the sound of his breathing, his feet flat on the floor.

Get out of your head. It was starting to help.

“Well, I’m here too,” Connie reassured him. She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, then his cheek. He grinned despite the nightmare’s memory, fighting the sudden urge to float up to the ceiling and take her with him. He turned his face to hers and kissed her, her mouth parting open beneath his, and the nightmare quickly slipped back into distant recollection. How could he think of that when the way Connie held him was so right?

They drew apart a moment later, both slightly breathless, Connie as pink-cheeked as Steven felt. “Thanks for coming over,” Steven said, suddenly shy. “Even if I overslept.”

“Nah, I’m early. I might have missed you a little bit since yesterday,” said Connie, pretending to look innocent. Then she giggled and nudged him with her shoulder. “Besides, I’m starting to get into this whole gardening thing with you. These plants won’t take care of themselves… unless you’ve added any --”

Steven laughed a little, climbing out of bed. Connie stood up beside him, slipping on her shoes. “No, no, these ones up here are still just normal Earth plants. No cheating. I’ll get dressed. Um, maybe you should --”

“Suddenly shy, Steven Universe?” She turned around so that she couldn’t see him change, but she was blushing as she did so.

“Um, maybe,” Steven said, his voice threatening to crack for a second. He gulped through it, disguising it with a swallow. Oh jeez. “Uh, maybe I just don’t want you to be overwhelmed by my extremely handsome physique,” he blustered. Better.

They’d only officially been dating for six and a half weeks, and he was still figuring out how to be both a friend and a boyfriend. He wasn’t sure how exactly to do it, but it felt like he was doing okay. Except what was this flirting thing, again? He hoped she didn’t think he was too ridiculous.

He pulled off the light tank top he’d slept in. Part of him half-hoped Connie would watch him get changed after all -- but that was both too exciting and too terrifying to handle just yet, so he quickly changed with his back to her, sweating again. Where had he put that deodorant? Ah, there it was. Phew.

“Well, it’s true,” Connie mused from across the room. “I do think you’re handsome.”

“Come on, Connie, don’t tease me,” he said, rummaging for fresh underwear and jeans. He put them on at lightning speed.

“I wasn’t teasing, but I can start. Isn’t calling you handsome one of the perks of being your girlfriend?” The way she said girlfriend was light and airy, tinged with pride and the excitement of newness. The sound of it made him feel all floaty again.

“Can I just say that us actually dating is… it’s kinda weird, and more than a little scary, and also I really love it? Because it’s awesome. You’re awesome. And beautiful, and smart, and funny, and badass, and -- well, you know,” Steven said in a rush, pulling on a fresh shirt. It got stuck temporarily on his head, and he pulled it down, his hair going every which way as he did so. “Okay, I’m decent.”

“Decently goofy, that is,” said Connie, turning back around. They headed out onto the deck, and she laughed brightly, one of his favorite sounds. “I feel the same way. It’s weird, and I get all these crazy butterflies every time I look at you, but you’re still Steven. It’s like… being best friends plus this whole new thing where I get to hold your hand and kiss you and tease you until you blush. I’m a big fan.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” He bent down to examine some of the plants in their pots and planters. He had considered growing them magically, but there was something comforting about these ones, their shades of green and blue and goldenrod a cheery sight against the Gem-constructed dome. Maybe it was that they were content to stay here and grow where he’d asked them to; but maybe it was that there was no way they would cause problems any more severe than allergies.

“It isn’t really cheating,” Connie said, watering a row of blue and pink-blooming hydrangeas in their beds.

“Huh?” Steven asked, nonplussed over by the burgeoning azaleas. Their first blossoms were just starting to unfurl in shocking fuschia.

“Using magic to grow these. It would be okay if you did, I think.” She paused, trailing a hand over a bundle of pink blossoms. “Magic’s part of you just as much as being human, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s not wrong to use it, and it’s not wrong to not use it, you know?”

How did she always see through him? He was glad she knew him so well, but sometimes, it made it difficult to hide. He thought back to the sessions he’d started going to, human therapy with someone who didn’t know him, didn’t know Dad and the Gems, didn’t know any of this stuff… but someone who let Steven talk. And one of the things he’d suggested was reconnecting to his human side.

“I know. But I fought so hard to be a good Gem, to get control of my powers, to save the galaxy… I forgot about who I was as a human. I guess this is me trying to figure it out, one plant at a time. Plus my counselor thinks the whole gardening thing is a good idea.” He brushed his fingertips over the spiny leaves of a variegated aloe plant. “Thanks for helping me look into it. Peridot’s advice was super technical, but just hanging out and taking care of plants is a little more my speed.”

She left the watering can, closing the distance between them and taking his hand. “It’s okay if it takes time.”

“I know,” he said, and he did know it, and the thought made him glad. There was a time, not that long ago, that he wouldn’t have believed her. That he would have thought she wasn’t telling the truth. “That’s why I’ve been working so hard on letting myself not work. I really needed help. And it feels good to be getting it.”

Connie looked down at his hand, held in her slender one. “I’m so sorry you were struggling so much. I knew something was wrong, I just… I didn’t know what exactly.”

He gripped her hand tighter. “Well, my counselor says I can be really stubborn,” he laughed. “And he says I’m really good at hiding things. The Gems didn’t know, Dad didn’t know…” He sighed, the laughter in his voice fading.

Oh. There it was, that feeling. Steven tried to sit with it, instead of trying to shove it aside. It was still a difficult thing for him. “I just can’t believe I lost a whole year, feeling like that. Empty and angry and numb…. I wish it had been different. That I’d been better at dealing with everything. I mean, I could have been going off to college with you in fall, and we could have been dating so much sooner because I wouldn’t have been so messed up. I wouldn’t have worried everyone so much, or scared you so much that night -- I’m really sorry -- ”

“Hey, hey hey hey,” said Connie softly.

He looked up. She searched his face, her brown eyes wide and earnest. She smiled gently at him, and he realized what she meant.

“Oh man, I’m doing it again,” Steven said, shaking his head and smiling faintly. “That thing where I assume I have to apologize if I try to talk about my feelings. And that other thing where I assume I have to take care of everyone else’s problems instead of mine. Ahhh, it’s really hard to unlearn!” He let go of her hand, throwing his up in the air. “What’s that saying? Two steps forward, one step back? It’s annoying.”

“I think it’s really normal,” said Connie, reaching out and booping him on the nose. He giggled. Sure enough, the painful feeling from earlier was already starting to fade, all the less powerful for having been shared but not ruminated on. It was a balance he worked at with every counseling visit. More and more often, he was getting better at it.

“And I think it’s amazing you’ve worked so hard. I can tell you have, Steven. You just seem… like you again. Maybe it’s a you that’s still figuring things out, but I am too,” said Connie. “It’s not like I know everything about what I want to do. There’s my classes now, which college to pick, my driving exam… and how much time I want to spend in space in the future versus if I want a career that’s more Earth-based… there’s a lot to think about!”

Steven kissed her on the cheek, then wiped off a bit of dirt that had gotten on her nose. “I know it’s hard to choose -- oh man, do I know -- but I hope you know you can do anything you want, Connie. You’re so smart, and you work so hard. Whatever you pick, you’ll be incredible.” She flushed, but didn’t contradict him. “And if you ever want to practice driving the Dondai, I’ll go with you any time. I know you’ll pass it. Stevonnie was a great driver even when we were kids, so I’m sure you’ll do great.”

She poked him in the side. “Yeah, but it’s a little different when someone’s grading you on it. And I think the racing moves Stevonnie’s so good at are a little frowned upon in the driving test.”

“The test wasn’t bad at all,” said Steven. “I got dinged on a couple things, but they still passed me. Turns out parallel parking is crazy hard when you’re used to parking on an entire beach…”

“Dork,” said Connie, smirking.

“Guilty.”

“You know, we’re not doing a very good job with the plants, Steven,” she said, glancing around them.

“Someone’s very distracting,” said Steven, halfheartedly picking up his watering can. “You’re just really good to talk to, and super cute, and you smell really nice --”

“Such a dork!” She went to pick up a trowel, but sighed. “Dang it, you’re really distracting too. Your hair’s doing this extra curly thing where it’s sticking up in the back and it’s adorable, and I keep just wanting to touch you and hold your hand --”

“Hey, I have an idea,” said Steven shyly, an idea occurring to him. “I know a way we could be a little more productive.”

“You better not tell me to go home already, Universe,” Connie said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought I was supposed to go to lunch with you and your dad and the Gems later.”

“What do you take me for, Maheswaren?” he scoffed. “No. I was thinking --” He stepped backward, leaving a little space between them, and held out his hand. “I bet Stevonnie could focus more.”

She grinned, blinking rapidly, her eyes a little too bright. He knew how she felt -- hopeful, eager, excited -- and a little nervous. “Are you sure?” she asked. “I mean -- we haven’t since….”

He took a deep breath. “Since before I broke down? I know. But I think… I think I feel enough like me now that I want to try, if you do.”

Her grin deepened into a fierce, blazing expression, the type of expression that said she would take on the world. He loved that look. “Then let’s dance.”

Their dance was slow at first, the steps a little fumbling, out of practice. For a moment, Steven’s eagerness shifted into worry. Maybe he wasn’t ready after all. Maybe he still wasn’t enough of himself to fuse. Maybe --

But Connie’s dancing was so joyful, so familiar, that his worry slipped away. It’s okay. I’m me. We’re us. A lightness filled him, a happiness so intense his eyes pricked. He took her hand in his, and together they whirled, they spun, they fused --

Stevonnie laughed, the sound ringing throughout the dome. It felt so good to be themselves again. “Yes!” they crowed. They felt so much different than they had the last time they had formed. That day, months ago, Stevonnie had felt unsettled and strange throughout. They had struggled to stay themselves in a way that hadn’t made sense, and they had only remained a few moments before Steven and Connie unfused. Now they understood why, and it was a relief to once more feel like Stevonnie, confident, relaxed, at ease.

They realized things felt a little different. “Ooh!” they said, reaching up to feel stubble on their cheeks. “Huh, might be a good look for me.” Stevonnie reached down to touch their toes, then stood up and stretched as tall as they could. Ahhh, that was nice.

Stevonnie glanced around the garden, noting how little work had been done this morning. Steven and Connie really were too much sometimes (only in the best way, of course). “Yeah, I think it’ll be a little easier not to be distracted this way.” They collected the watering can and the pruning shears.

Stevonnie hummed to themselves as they made their way through the rows of Steven’s garden, watering here, pruning the occasional dead branch there. A few plants needed some fertilizer, and Stevonnie sank their hands into the soil of each pot, relishing the feel of cool dirt against their fingertips. A breeze played through the open door of the conservatory, its touch blowing lightly through their hair. The morning sunlight streamed through the glass, brilliant, coruscating, lining the edges of the plants with golden light. Below them, Stevonnie could hear the surf breaking against the sand, wave after wave, the sound mingling with their humming.

Stevonnie finished with the gardening in an hour, much quicker than it would have taken Steven and Connie with all of their flirting. They wondered what the future held for them both: Connie’s schooling and future career, Steven’s Gem and human struggles and his improvements, this new layer to their friendship that had developed recently. So many changes, but good ones, they thought.

They looked around at the garden, feeling a warm sense of pride at how well it was doing. Steven and Connie had worked so hard to help this place become lush and beautiful. It had changed, too. No longer a sterile Gem structure, it was a true garden, vibrant and alive and growing.

Stevonnie sat down cross-legged in the middle of the conservatory, surrounded by greens and pinks and yellows, scents of jasmine and rose. The surf was steady in the background. Stevonnie closed their eyes, considering the future, and took a moment to breathe deeply.

They smiled, calm and serene. Maybe they didn’t have future vision, but the future seemed bright after all.

****

(Author’s note:

I had this rattling around in my drafts but was waiting until Prickly Pair aired to figure out what direction I wanted to go with it. WOW that episode was a gut punch, wasn’t it? So I felt I had to reimagine it in a much healthier setting since in these stories, Steven’s breakdown occurred earlier and he was willing to go to therapy. You can see he’s not 100% better — old fears and patterns slip through — but he’s social now and overall has a much better outlook.

I also thought it was important to spell out that dating wasn’t really possible until Steven had made significant improvements in his mental health, and that dating/relationships alone can’t save you from mental illness. They can help if there’s a solid foundation there, but you can’t jump into a relationship at your lowest point because your self is too wounded to be a good partner. So, this is set some months after Steven had been in therapy. They were very close before then but not officially dating yet, at least in these stories.)

#connverse #steven universe future #suf #steven universe #steven x connie #connie maheswaran #stevonnie #steven for therapy 2020 #fanfoolishness steven universe fic

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introvert-celeste · 5 years

Note

Do you have an issues going on with jasper and why it seems like she's getting shafted despite being talked about a bunch of times by RS in the past and the fact that they are possibly not going to address the lapis and bismuth situation and it's possibly resolved off screen in the time skip and it's going to be a barn situation (peridot and lapis becoming friends quickly despite lapis really hated her) which is probably why some people are turned off by seeing peridot, lapis and bismuth togeth?

Oh, anon, anon, anon...you brought this upon yourself. Now you have to listen to my long ass theory about how jasper, Lapis, and Bismuth are all connected and that connection lies in Beta. I don’t feel like linking to all the other posts I’ve done on it, simply because I don’t feel like digging them up, so you’re about to get the long explanation.

Now, do I have a problem how the show is currently treating Jasper? No, not really. Not anymore. I’ve become jaded by her absence and I can stand to wait a little longer if I have to. I would love to see her as soon as possible, but I don’t think her presence...fits with the movie. I mean, she’s still technically an antagonist. Nothing has been resolved with her.

Do I have a problem with Lapis and Bismuth’s miraculously friendly relationship, despite the fact that Bismuth poofed Lapis, which inadvertently led to her being trapped in the mirror for thousands of years? No, because Rebecca confirmed today at SDCC that Lapis doesn’t know that our Bismuth was the one who poofed her (it also confirms that that was our Bismuth, which was never explicitly stated previously).

With that out of the way, I begin.

It all starts 5750 years ago, when Blue Diamond showed up with her entourage to deal with Rose Quartz and her “small but persistent” rebellion, which was basically just her and Pearl wrecking shit. Among her entourage is a gem that looks like Lapis, same gem placement, hair shape, everything.

Lapis claims in Same Old World that “we” (suggesting she was a part of group) “were only supposed to visit for a short time” (meaning Blue Diamond expected to capture Rose Quartz quickly), so it fits in with the previous assumption. She goes on to say “but we got caught in the middle of the war.”

Keep in mind that the rebellion prior to the events in The Answer consisted only of Rose/Pink and Pearl, the only gem she could trust. Pink was fight solely for the Earth and it’s organic inhabitants against gemkind. After she met Garnet, she realized that gems like her are also worth fighting for, so she would have likely started accepting more gems into her group, starting with Garnet. More gems means stronger forces, and stronger forces of gems who have been abused by Homeworld in ways Pink probably wasn’t even aware of meant a bad time for Homeworld. Rose’s little rebellion grew into an all out war.

Peridot says in Beta that “halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground.” The rebellion began ~6000 years ago and ended a thousand years later, so halfway would have been ~5500 years ago, which is when Jasper was born. Well, that’s when she started fighting against the Crystal Gems, according to the Guide to the Crystal Gems, but considering Eyeball said that Jasper “came out with [her] helmet on and shattered 80 Crystal Gems before the sun went down!” I think we can reasonably assume Jasper was born in the middle of a battle.

5500 years ago also lines up with the Lapis’ claim that she was “caught in the middle of the war,” a quote that corresponds with the lower image of the two above. 5500 years ago is 250 years after the events of The Answer. To spare you any more unnecessary elaboration, my theory is that the Crystal Gems grew rapidly after Rose met Garnet, and Blue Diamond employed her own entourage to help create more Homeworld soldiers on Earth. The Beta kindergarten strongly resembles Antelope Canyon, which is shaped by yearly flooding, so I’d say Lapis is pretty qualified to help cut this kindergarten.

As you can see, the top image shows Lapis in a green landscape, corresponding with her first assertion that she was “only supposed to visit for a short time.” The second image, meant to be the same location, it rocky and barren, telltale signs of a kindergarten that has sucked the life from the surrounding area. There is also the outline of what appears to be an injector in the bottom right corner and, most obviously,a group of Jaspers running in the background. Immediately after this image, a couple of the Jaspers actually explode into shards. Not poofed, because there is no orange smoke. Only a bright flash of light and bits of rock, whether from the gem or from the ground, flying up into the air.

Here’s when Jasper was poofed for reference.

So, it wasn’t just a battle...it was massacre. Sure, Jasper “took out” more than her fair share of Crystal Gems, and I’m sure her fellow Betas had few scruples over shattering the gems that were attacking them fresh out of the ground, but from how Peridot was trashing it, saying it was “too small” and “obviously a total rush job,” I doubt it would have been hard to shatter them. The way she criticizes the shape and locations of the exit holes suggests that the vast majority of the Betas were defective, with Jasper being the overly perfect exception. We also have to consider who else was present.

As I mentioned before, Rebecca confirmed that this was our Bismuth. As we know, Bismuth isn’t opposed to shattering, not like Rose. While I don’t think she’s a ruthless murderer--after all, she didn’t damage Lapis’ gem here--she’s far from a passive fighter. Bismuth has led a life of hardship, and she was among gems who also led lives of hardship, and Beta was Homeworld’s newest military tactic. To quote Greg, “there’s no such thing as a good war.” That’s only bolstered by the fact that the first time Beta was even mentioned was in It Could Have Been Great, when Peridot pointed it out as the Cluster’s insertion point. You know, THE CLUSTER, as in the gigantic ball of gem shards deep in the Earth’s mantle? That Cluster. Beta is where it was inserted into the ground, which implies that there was such an excess of gem shards that, combined, they could eventually create an entity that would destroy the planet just by forming. I’m sorry, that just...it’s truly upsetting.

That being said, I believe that this is one of the reasons Beta hasn’t been talked about in the show yet, besides via Peridot’s third-party perspective. She didn’t even exist then. It isn’t something anyone wants to talk about, whether out of shame or grief. Many, many gems on both sides were likely shattered there.

SO, what does all of this mean?

It means that no, I don’t think Jasper is being shafted, although I do with they would have addressed all of this earlier, at least some of it. I think the right time hasn’t happened yet, and that nothing has been resolved. Lapis doesn’t know who Bismuth really is, so there really isn’t anything to resolve until they start talking about what happened at Beta which, as I mentioned, doesn’t seem like the sort of thing the gems who experienced it would bring up in casual conversation. It would be a heavy topic.

And as I’ve speculated, I seriously doubt Jasper took the news about Pink Diamond well. She has a history of running off on her own, and Beta is the only logical location for her to go at this point. It was where she was made, and it’s not a place where anyone else is bound to go, given it’s history. I believe this is where the Beta discussion will begin: when they specifically go out looking for Jasper and she reveals the awful truth of the place. That will lead to discussion of Lapis and Bismuth’s involvement, as well as Bismuth’s inadvertent responsibility for Lapis’ suffering.

Unlike before, we’re now in a position where we can hear all three sides of the story. Bismuth is unbubbled, is on friendly terms with everyone, and has made peace with what happened with Rose. Lapis no longer has an incentive to run away, now that the Diamonds aren’t threats, and has time to settle into the family dynamic. Jasper is uncorrupted, but otherwise at her most vulnerable, now that she knows that Rose Quartz, the gem that basically ruined her life, was also the gem jasper has wanted to avenge since she was “shattered.” She won’t do anything to hurt Steven, now that she knows who he really is, and he’s more likely to get an honest answer out of her. Think of all the backstory that was necessary to get to this point and you will find that they really couldn’t have done this any earlier without taking away from it.

So, while I am dying to see Jasper again, I don’t want her to be in the movie. I want them to save her for season 6, when we can have a proper arc for her, like she deserves, and I want Bismuth and Lapis to be a part of this arc. I want them to shed some light on Beta.

#steven universe #asks #su spoilers #jasper #lapis lazuli #bismuth #theories #beta raid theory #tagging for future use #I like to refer to this theory a lot and this makes it easier to find

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nexstage · 5 years

Text

LIMBO SILVAM - EPILOGUE (1/2)

Inside the Beach House, everything and everyone were silent. Pearl was drying the dishes with a somber expression, Amethyst, sat in one of the seats in front of the kitchen island, played with her hair bitterly, and Connie was on the sofa looking at her sword, red and puffy eyes trying to holding back more tears. At her left was a gemstone placed over a pillow: Peridot's gemstone.

There was also Lion who watched intently the little gem in her comatose condition like waiting for a signal to act.

If silence had a name, it would be unbearable or hell. Utter, endless hell. The tension between the members of the Crystal Gems could be noticed even for the most oblivious individual in the whole world. Though that didn't matter not the fact that no one in the Beach House had the mood or the guts to 'break the ice' with a single comment. However, what could they say after the torment they were put through?

Amethyst sighed, fed up with the uncertainty, and looked at Pearl and Connie. Both her friends were too immersed in their own way of grief that it seemed they had forgotten the only person who was in the shadows. "Hey," she started but no one listened "Hey, guys" Amethyst was met with the same silence.

Irritated and with her patience to her limit, she resorted to her best tactic. A very high whistle took them by surprise, Pearl caught one of the plates she was drying before it broke into pieces and Connie accidentally dropped her sword to the floor.

"Amethyst, what the heck?!" the veteran gem glared at the quartz "Why did you do that?!"

"Because we're wasting time, P!"

"Wasting time...with what?" Connie asked, her voice a bit hoarse due to the crying. She coughed a bit to clear it. "What do you mean?"

"What are we going to do with Peridot once she wakes up?" Pearl caught the meaning of Amethyst's question faster than Connie and grimaced, trying to think a good answer. "Well..." hesitation stopped her from a moment before continuing "Obviously, we're going to check on her. Verify if she can remember what happened after she was poofed... And cracked... Almost killed..." the last thing was said in a trembling whisper "Then when we're sure her memories are intact, we'll tell her the truth".

"Really, Pearl? Like, for real?" Amethyst sent her the best, most unimpressed stare the old gem had seen in her quasi-immortal life "You're the smartest gem I've known, and this is your best shot?"

"Amethyst, I understand your reservations about my methods but, what can we do? There is no option for Peridot"

"There IS one and that is not waking up. Ever"

"You can't be serious, Amethyst!" Connie yelled outraged and approached the quartz while glaring at her "Have you forgotten that Steven is still in the hospital waiting for an answer about Peridot's condition? Hoping for her to stay in a coma forever is too cruel! Steven can't lose someone else!"

"Well, what's your plan then?!" losing her temper, Amethyst sat up from her seat of the kitchen island and glared at Connie as intensely as the girl "Are we going to tell Peridot 'Hey P-Dot, glad you're awake. Remember that crazy gem, Spinel, who wanted to poison Earth with a giant injector and tried to kill us all? Well, you and Lapis really got into serious trouble with her and almost got crashed, except that you got lucky and Lapis is a bunch of shards inside a bubble. Anyway, want some consolation cookies?'. Do you really expect anyone to say that?! Even after we saw how heartbroken Steven was when we told him?!"

"Ok, enough, both of you!" Pearl put herself in the middle to stop a fight between the pair and pinched the bridge of her nose. Sighing heavily, she gazed at them "Look, this is a compromising situation and there is no way out of it unless we are honest with Peridot. Praying for an endless coma to save everyone from giving the bad news isn't possible and to top it all, it's even selfish"

"How can that be selfish if Peridot is going to suffer again, P?! Should I remind you that Lapis left her homeless and depressed and now is unable to come back like the last time?!" Pearl glared at her as if ordering her to not lose her temper, but Amethyst looked away angrily while crossing her arms. The purple quartz wasn't a fan of Lapis, and her opinion of the blue gem went to total disapproval after Steven told her about Lapis and Peridot's disagreement that ended up with the first one taking the barn to space while the second one was left sad and lonely.

Despite Lapis' sudden return to Earth and her saving them from Blue Diamond when she crashed Ruby and Sapphire's wedding, Amethyst was still wary with the ex terraformer.

"That incident is something between those two, Amethyst. If they've talked things through, fine, if not, it's up to them. We can't mix something from the past with what's happening now"

"Still, it's better if we spared her from more hurt feelings. We have lost too much thanks to Mrs. Revenge Noodle Gem who wanted to give Earth a piece of her mind"

"What we need right now is to plan the best way to deliver the news, Amethyst. We're her friends" Connie intervened after ordering her thoughts while still holding back the tears "Everyone here is in the same position as you because no one can be as close to Lapis like Peridot, Bismuth or Steven. Besides, what if she finds out about Lapis' demise on her own? It's not like it's impossible for someone to discover a gem or her remnants inside a bubble hidden in a secret place! I mean, Steven could find Bismuth and discover what happened to her, and Peridot is too smart for her own good!"

"That was luck. Pure luck and Lion was living with us. But anyway, what do YOU expect us to tell her? No matter if we are too careful or go straight to the point, nothing will save Peridot from the heartbreak!"

"She isn't the only one!!" Connie cried, anguished tears finally running down her cheeks "I. Was. There!! I was there when I saw Lapis' gemstone shatter. I-I-I was so goddamn close t-to... The fountain was in front of me, just some steps and she would be healed and safe... But... I wasn't fast enough. She broke into p-pieces in my own hands. I can still hear the crack, see myself trying to put her back together just to--"

Pearl immediately hugged her close to her chest and the girl cried, holding tight on the gem she considered a second mother.

For the veteran gem to see her apprentice falling apart like that, it tortured her mercilessly. No one had any idea of how to approach Peridot with the fact that the gem she was closest to died after both were defeated by Spinel. Connie was right that only Steven, Peridot and Bismuth -at some extent- were close to Lapis, and she and the blue gem had a rocky history between them concerning the mirror and Pearl storing her inside her gem without checking if the object was gem-powered or if a gem was imprisoned in it. However, that didn't stop her from being horrified and saddened by Lapis' shattering.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only concern. Spinel and her reasons to destroy Earth with them in it were the second priority which she didn't want anything to do with. Despite having defeated her, Pearl couldn't grasp in her mind -full of good and conflicting memories of Pink- how the deceased Diamond could have been so cruel, thoughtless and self-centered to abandon Spinel while deceiving her with a 'waiting game'. Advanced equations or building a robot were tasks Pearl could do easily; understanding Pink at all, that was another story.

And to make it worse, they have suffered because of another careless decision of her. Steven had to fix another mistake that even took one of his friends' life. She could get that Pink needed to grow up and prove herself to the Diamonds back then, that running a colony required too much time and work to spare in other activities or fun, that her interests and Spinel's were completely different, but just look at what her lack of guts has caused!

She could've left Spinel with the Peebles in her palace on Homeworld or tell her the truth kindly that they were growing apart, heck, put her in charge to take care of the garden with the aid of some gems. She could have done something better, anything!

But no!

Pink just played with Spinel's head and prayed at everyone's backs that this never 'bit her in the butt' as humans said. Technically, it didn't blow up in her face but it did with Steven's. Pearl just hoped her little boy could heal appropriately and not be burdened by more of his mother's screwups.

"I'm sorry" Connie and Amethyst glanced at the thin gem who lowered her head in shame "I know I didn't cause this mess, but... But if I had known Pink was going to left Spinel, if I had known the abandonment was going to break Spinel mentally, I would've tried to stop Pink or tell her to take another course of action. If I had acted, things would be different now. Again, I failed to change the future for the better"

"Come on, P! Don't be ridiculous!" Amethyst punched her in the arm, not to start a fight but because it was her way right now to give comfort "You can be annoying sometimes, but your heart is where your friends are! That's why you're thousands of times much better than Pink. You have grown, you changed, you're the best! But her? She cheated and lied to get her way! Sure, Rose, Pink, -whoever she was- played a part in saving the Earth and if it weren't for her, we wouldn't have Steven, but if it weren't for YOU, the Crystal Gems would've never existed. I mean, you were the one with the idea of pretending to be another gem, and that led to both of you to explore the planet, fight for it and then for the gems who wanted to be free, dude! Besides, YOU are part of the heart of the Crystal Gems, and then Garnet, and me, Steven, Greg, Lion, Connie, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, and the gems we healed from corruption and live in Little Homeworld, but not Pink. She may have tried, but she didn't try enough. Not like you, Pearl. So, stop that bullshit about feeling guilty for someone else's mistake!"

"She's right, Pearl. You've done so many great things, heck, you're like a second mother to me. Besides, don't take offense of this, but even if you'd tried to convince Pink to talk with Spinel or to leave her in Homeworld where she would be with other gems, I doubt Steven's mom had listened. She didn’t stop to consider the consequences of faking her shattering after all" Connie rubbed at her teary eyes, her face becoming more serious "I don't know what to feel anymore, but that doesn't mean we have to fight each other like moments ago. Peridot will need us more than ever when she knows about Lapis. We have to tell her the truth and give her our support. And even if we'll never have the chance to get to know Lapis better, at least we will pay her our respects while taking care of Peridot. It's what she had wanted us to do. It's the right thing to do. For Lapis, for Peridot and especially for Steven"

"Yeah, you know, even when I never liked her that much, even less when P-Dot was all alone after she left, I could see how much those two were meant for each other. Sure, maybe I can't see it that well because I'm more defensive on Peridot's side, she's my friend after all, but I know there was something more than a closeness between them. But once Peridot wakes up, it'll be gone"

"And that's where Spinel didn't have luck enough to heal" Pearl explained though the others didn't get it at first "Peridot has all of us. Spinel only had Pink, but when she abandoned her, there was no one she could turn to for comfort and hope. Losing Lapis in this way, I can't imagine the devastation in Peridot's face, but at least she won't be alone. So, no matter how we approach her with the news, we'll never leave her side"

Amethyst and Connie nodded determinedly and joined hands with Pearl in silent camaraderie and solidarity.

The sound of the warp pad being used startled them, Garnet's silhouette visible despite the blinding light, then the stoic gem got out of the warp pad, a scowl on her face. Pearl gulped a bit and separated from the other two to talk with her comrade despite the nervousness "Glad you're ok, Garnet... How'd it go?" She asked, her voice almost shaking.

"Really. Exhausting" she hissed, her teeth were gritted strongly, barely containing the urges to punch something or yell. Whenever there was too much frustration to deal with, Ruby made herself noticeable via angry growls and tense seriousness. The fusion massaged her temples to alleviate herself from the high-level stress and exhale a big sigh "We have 5 minutes before Peridot reforms so, I'll be quick. Spinel's new prison in Homeworld will take some preparations, the Diamonds are still in disbelief about what had happened to her and what she'd done, but they at least understood that Spinel is a huge danger to Steven as long as she is free so they'll take care of her while she's still in the bubble until the prison is finished"

"Wait a second, some preparations?" Pearl was the first talking before the others intervened, "What do you mean by that? Garnet, it has been two weeks since the attack and people are still paranoid about another gem wanting to destroy the planet. I know this is going too far but Spinel is seriously obsessed with her senseless revenge, she needs to be shattered"

"But what about Steven?" Connie asked concerned. Shattering was a quick option that could save them from more work, but her best friend would never agree "Are we going to lie to him if he wants to know what we did with Spinel? Even if she deserves that punishment, he will be against that idea"

"Yeah! 'Sides if the Diamonds think they can replace Pink with Spinel and keep her in check by putting her on a royal pedestal then screw them! They'll make it worse and Spinel might escape and try to kill us again!"

The discussion went on and on, too caught up in finding out what to do with the Diamonds' sudden affection towards the homicidal gem and the repercussions of telling Peridot about Lapis' demise that they didn't notice Peridot's reformation until Lion growled at them.

"Shit! She's coming back!" The four Crystal Gems saw her comrade's light projection getting out of the gemstone and then the little gem plopped on the ground, dizzy and confused.

"Ugh... My head... What happened?"

Suddenly, she was engulfed in a bear hug by Connie and Amethyst while Pearl and Garnet watched from behind. Peridot's appearance had changed: her visor now had the shape of the upper body of the star; she was wearing a mix of boots and sandals, both brown with some golden lines decorating them and a jacket of three tones of green with the Crystal Gem's symbol emblazoned in the middle of it; her hair didn't have her classic triangular style anymore but a star style, complementing with the visor.

"Wow, dude, you look awesome!" Amethyst's compliment broke her train of thought. With a single look at herself, Peridot gasped amazed at her new appearance modifiers "That's what I am talking about! This is how I, the unbeatable ruler of the skies Peridot, should look in front of her enemies!... Still, Ummm, guys do you know what happened? Because there is only one way I could change my appearance and that is by being poofed"

Her friends' joy for having her back was quickly replaced by uncertainty and concern. Before she could ask what was wrong Connie was the first one speaking "Peridot, what's the last thing you remember?"

"What do you mean? Wait... Are you implying I was poofed during a mission or an accident and brought here?"

Pearl looked at Garnet as if asking her if her future vision had some plan B to help the little gem to recover her memories. The fusion decided to take action and approached her comrade whose face had turned into a pensive frown while searching in her confused mind.

"It seems that what she had done to you have shocked you to the point of not recalling anything" Peridot glanced at Garnet and when she opened her mouth, the taller gem stopped her raising a hand to explain herself "You mentioned your suspicions of being poofed during a mission. They were right, you indeed were poofed while protecting Beach City from a gem. Peridot, does the name Spinel sound familiar to you?"

The former technician pronounced that name silently, the core of her gemstone was tingling with the sole mention of Spinel. However, her mental repertoire was useless in giving her the information she wanted. Images ran through her mind with such velocity it was difficult to process what they meant and the collage of sounds and voices didn't seem to have an end.

Then a headache. Oh how loving! Now she had to deal with that!

"Peridot... Can't you remember anything?" Connie's tone of voice was a mix of concerned and pleading, but right now it grated her nerves. Since when human children sounded so annoying?!

"Shhhhh! I'm trying to concentrate!" Peridot hissed. Closing her eyes, she delved in the deepness of her memories just to find... Nothing. A complete mess.

"Ugh! This is useless! I kind of have the answers at the tip of my tongue but they don't come any closer!"

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Pearl stopped the distressed Crystal Gem before she got more frustrated "It's alright, Peridot. Maybe we can find another way to revive your memories without you fainting for the exhaustion"

"More like going insane for the headache" the little gem mumbled angrily.

"But, anyway, Garnet, you said a Spinel attacked Beach City right? I have read about that kind of gem: they're jesters, entertainers. Not warriors or weapon-experts gems. So, why one would want to invade Earth?"

"It was for very personal reasons" Pearl intervened, shame and anger painted on her facial features.

Peridot started formulating many theories around that. What kind of personal reason would a Spinel have to attack them? Was it because of the new statu quo of Era 3? That might be, after all, now with the Diamonds out of leadership and all the gems being freed, there was more space for new purposes, but that also meant that many gems would feel lost and angry for their sole job to be questioned and for some of them to get revenge at the responsible for those changes. Wait! If that was true, that means Steven was the target and he wasn't in the Beach House. Where was he?!

"Where is Steven?" that question surprised the rest of the group, and strangely enough, she perceived some relief in their eyes but didn't have time to ponder about the source of their reaction "Where is he? Is he ok?"

"Hospital" Garnet's response got her attention though not in the way she wanted "He is recovering at the hospital. Let's go, he needs to see you"

"Garnet, wait, our only way to get there is by Lion and hospitals don't allow any animals much less magical ones!" The fusion went to the wireless phone, grabbed it and gave it to Pearl "Call Greg, tell him we're coming to visit with Peridot now reformed. Ask him if there are humans in Steven's room so we can be prepared to go when they're gone."

The veteran gem nodded and dialed to him.

The former technician was left observing everyone's behavior, even feeling a subject of it. Pearl's voice was trembling, her posture rigid but with some freaking-out urges escaping from the seams. Garnet was at her side, the stoic manifestation of leadership though more bitter and somber than any time she had seen her like that. Meanwhile, Connie and Amethyst were looking at her and at each other conspicuously. If there was something she disliked was to be left in the dark. It was much better when data was delivered to her so she could make a plan or get to a conclusion, but Connie and Amethyst weren't helping which irritated a bit. And every time she glanced at her friends, the girl and the quartz looked away as if not knowing how to talk to her. Did they know something Peridot should remember or being informed about but didn't have the guts to tell her? The most concerning thing was Connie's eyes, they were so puffy and red, it must have been related to Steven's condition which worried her more because if the girl had cried that much it meant Steven's life was in peril.

Then an alarming realization crossed her mind, "What happened to that Spinel? Is she still free wreaking havoc?"

Amethyst tensed slightly at the mention of her name, that wasn’t a good signal. "Poofed and bubbled, dude" the quartz said, Peridot sighed internally. So there was no danger or enemy ready to kill Steven. That was good.

"You can't still remember what happened to you?" Peridot tried again, but her mind was as uncooperative as ever.

"Nothing. Ugh! This is such a mess. A Spinel with a vengeful agenda against Steven, him in the hospital, my memories too disorganized and fragmented to make sense, all of you acting so weird around me"

"We're not" Peridot raised an eyebrow not buying that. "Really? You two are sending secret messages by looking at each other and then you glance at me with a sort of pity which I don't like. At all"

"We're just worried about you. You were in a coma for 2 weeks"

TWO WEEKS?!! Was she kidding her?!

Connie froze, Amethyst glared at her for letting that bit of info escape from her mouth, but it didn't matter now that Peridot was digging harder than ever every corner of her mind something to put the images and sounds together so she could remember what happened to her exactly. Protecting Beach City from a revenge-thirst Spinel who tried to kill Steven wasn't context enough for her. A little voice told her that her friends knew more but couldn't explain or were afraid or...

Ugh! Whatever, she needed to know!

However, just when the green mechanic was going to demand answers, Pearl interrupted "Time to go. There are no nurses in Steven's room, so we can use Lion to warp there"

Amethyst shapeshifted into a little monkey, holding onto Pearl's shoulders; Garnet sat on Lion's back after Connie and Pearl, whose appearance was weird with a primate-sized Amethyst on her. "Peridot, time to go" Garnet commanded. The green gem fulfilled the order numbly, her mind too full of many questions and few answers to process correctly what was happening in those moments.

---------------------------

Hospitals were now the bane of existence for Greg. Before he never thought of them unless his son's health was in peril whether for a serious illness or severe injuries and with the dangerous lifestyle Steven had because of his mother's actions, the concerns just grew stronger, despite having the Crystal Gems as Steven's best defense.

Then, with Greg's unhealthy eating habits like hotdogs, donuts and anything with too much sugar or fats, the urgency of going to a hospital became a priority, especially after almost having a heart attack during a family barbecue.

"Dude, even a heavy eater like me knows that too many burgers and other carbo stuff can be the death of you" Amethyst commented when she caught him fighting to breathe and clutching his chest as if it were going to explode.

The purple quartz looked scared, sounded scared, though she tried to lessen the tension in the air with her joke-y tone. Greg asked to not tell this to Steven because that would ruin the fun for him, Amethyst was against that idea but complied with the condition that Greg took better care of himself, that meant fewer snacks and more exercise.

It was a fair deal so he tried hard.

However, now he felt that temptation was going to overtake. The stress and fear were so dense that maybe a snack or two might alleviate those feelings, but Greg refused. His son's condition was more important which just increased his distaste for hospitals.

He couldn't believe this mess was hitting them again, hitting Steven of all people, again!

They should've been rid of Rose's mistakes already, but it seemed that her series of wrongdoings got larger and more infuriating by the second.

He could understand the need to lie and keep secrets because, hey!, he even kept some like his real name, but for Rose to deceive Spinel into playing a 'waiting game' just for her to not deal with the fact of telling the other the truth of them growing apart, and for that to blow up in Steven's face when Spinel found out Rose abandoned her...

It was nauseating. He didn't have the heart to act in that way, though why delving in the past when Rose wasn't there to defend herself or receiving a piece of everyone's mind for putting them, especially Steven, through another hell of her problems.

The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he really knew his lover.

"I barely know you"

"That's a good thing"

What did Rose mean by that? That she even was aware all her progress and growth were insignificant compared to the cost and it was better being all ignorant about it? Or that thinking of her as a perfect person was the best option despite the obvious consequences of the festering secrets and wounds?

Anyway, that didn't change the outcome: Steven got hurt and had to fix this as any other problem Rose caused.

Just recalling the agonizing pain his son had gone through when he was told one of his friends, Lapis Lazuli, was shattered by Spinel during her revenge tore his heart apart. The anguished weeping, the shaking body, the horrified eyes, it was like seeing another person, no, the embodiment of sorrow taking over Steven.

Greg shook his head, trying to rid of those horrible images and just focus on being there for his boy. The teenager was sleeping a bit easier now that he had been informed Peridot was ok, although the many machines hooked to him make Greg believe his son has a terminal illness.

However, there was no time to grimace at that prospect because suddenly, a warp portal appeared in the middle of the hospital room and Lion got out. In its back were Garnet, Pearl, a monkey-sized Amethyst holding the pale gem's shoulders, Connie and Peridot.

The Pink beast flopped on the floor, exhausted. Steven opened his eyes slowly due to the noise and his eyes sparkled after seeing the green gem. "Peridot! You're alive!"

The former technician was shocked at Steven's appearance. The once confident and strong savior of the universe had terribly pale skin, huge bags decorated his eyes who were a bit red and puffy, many machines were connected to his body and his voice sounded so small and weak. Was this person really Steven?

"Steven, what on stars happened to you?!" Garnet shushed her for talking too loud, Peridot ignored the fusion and ran to be on her friend's side. Connie was the second, being on the right side of Steven's bed, hugging him tightly just to make sure he wouldn't disappear.

"I'm glad you're ok, Peri" For some reason Peridot couldn't explain, the nickname gave her a familiar sensation though she felt it came from someone else "I was so worried about you. I thought you'd never wake up"

"Me being in a coma doesn't matter as much as your condition, Steven! What happened? I mean, the only things the others have told me is that a vengeful Spinel attacked Beach City, I was there protecting it and she poofed me"

"...They didn't tell you?" Steven's eyes directed to the rest of the group with a secret message 'Why you haven't told her?'. Garnet decided to take action before the tension got worse "She still can't remember what happened. But we will show her the proofs and deliver the news"

"News about what?" Everyone except Peridot grimaced or winced at that question. The little gem didn't like the prospect of her friends lying to her or leaving her in the shadows as if she couldn't take some bad news "Come on, guys! This isn't fair! Now Steven is acting weird, there are still details I want to know about Spinel's attack and to top it all, there is bad news which you don't want to tell me! Wait, is it Little Homeworld, isn't it? Is everyone there ok? Are Bismuth and Laz alright?"

"We'll show you, Peridot" Pearl's voice could barely contain the grief "For now, don't push it too much. Your mind needs to be well-rested if you want to process everything that is to come"

The mechanic wasn't satisfied with that response. It sounded like Pearl was pitying her, but if it took patience to get to the bottom of this, then it would have to be whether she liked it or not.

During the 15 minutes of the visit, it was hinted many things concerning Spinel and how Beach City was dealing with all the damage inflicted by her. Sometimes, Steven let a bit of information escape on purpose to help Peridot's memories to resurface just for the little gem to still find her mind a collage-like mess which just left her confused and frustrated.

"You guys should go to Mask Island" Steven suggested, everyone tensed up at that option while Peridot wondered what the island had to do with Spinel and Beach City in ruins. Unless the destructive gem was bubbled and put there so no one has to be burdened by what she had done, but no, it wasn't possible. They had the Temple for storing bubbled gems after all.

"Dude, are you sure about this?" Amethyst hated to admit it but showing Peridot the remnants of her and Lapis' battle against Spinel didn't sound like the best idea. What if it didn't work? What if it was too much and Peridot fell apart on herself?

"You have to. Peridot," the look on Steven's eyes unnerved every immaterial inside of her hard-light body. Whatever it is that happened was serious, at least concerning to her due to how everyone was behaving "I'm so sorry"

Sorry... Sorry for what?

"I don't like the course of this conversation" Both Garnet and Pearl lowered her heads somberly. Connie and Amethyst led Peridot to where Lion was resting so they could come back to the Beach House, not without wishing Steven a good recovery and bid Greg farewell. The group returned to the house, the silence a heavy layer of apprehension and sadness. Before using the warp pad Garnet wanted to check if Peridot's memories were still too fragmented to make sense of them "Peridot, try to remember what was the last thing you heard, felt or saw. Don't push yourself though. Just pick what you think you can understand". The green engineer inhaled and exhaled then closed her eyes and dug deeper than ever. Then freeze frames popped out of nowhere, though they looked pixelated to the point of being unrecognizable. The voices inside her head weren't as overwhelming as before, but now they sounded fragmented and too far away for her to understand what they were talking about. However, Peridot was able to number the people who were speaking. There were Connie, Bismuth, Lapis, herself, but there was also a high-pitched, cruel stranger. Wait, was that Spinel?

"It's still confusing but not so much. It seems that I can recognize some voices, maybe they are part of my memories. Connie, Bismuth, Lapis, even me. There is another one but I don't know her. It must be Spinel"

Garnet's stoic face didn't show any emotion, or that is what Peridot believed. There was a tension barely visible in the fusion's posture as if she was trying to keep herself together. It was pretty worrying, but the green gem didn't have time to ask if Garnet was alright because the fusion spoke "It seems your memories from the time Spinel attacked are coming back, though slowly. I know where to start but I want you to know, Peridot, that if it's too overwhelming for you, we can postpone this until you feel better"

Annoyance and irritation sparked in Peridot's gemstone for a while. She appreciated her friends caring about her and being thoughtful about whatever they were going to tell her, but she was starting to feel pitied by them. As if the former technician didn't have what it takes to face the truths they knew.

#Peridot #Crystal Gems #Greg #Steven Universe #Steven Universe: The Movie #Dark #Angst #Tragedy #connie maheswaran

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lovixcore · 5 years

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comfort (amedot fic)

One-Shot

Summary: Peridot and Amethyst talk about Rose and Pink Diamond being the same person.

Notes: This does take place between 'The Question' and 'Made of Honor' as Amethyst does tell Peridot that Ruby and Sapphire are getting married.

Word Count: 2849 words

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673845

Amethyst barged into the bathroom, something that Peridot was quite used to since she did it somewhat frequently. It didn’t really annoy her because for some reason, a reason Peridot did not know, it made Peridot smile every single time she did it. “Hey Pier!” Amethyst smiled at the smaller gem, slowly but gently shutting the bathroom door. She then walked over, and climbed into the bathtub, sitting down next to Peridot, who was holding Pumpkin in her arms.

In response to Amethyst’s new nickname for her, Peridot raised an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes. “Pier?” She questioned the quartz, the tone of her voice laced with confusion.

“Yup! It’s m’a new nickname for ya,” Amethyst chatted, as she looked at Peridot with a radiant smile across her face. She then wrapped one of her arms around the green gem, and brought her closer, “Like it?”

“Of course I do.”

Amethyst giggled and ruffled the green gem's hair, "Good." A silence befell the two of them, as an attempt to save the conversation, Amethyst awkwardly started again, "...So, I haven't seen ya in like a day or two.. or something like that," Amethyst pointed out, the tone of her voice starting to change from a bright and happy tone of voice to concern, as she released Peridot from her hold. She tilted her head, "...You okay?"

“Oh. Um, yes, I am doing okay. Though I did hear the ruckus out there, and I figured, that, it would be best for me to stay out of it,” She explained to the quartz, who was rather concerned about her. Amethyst always made sure she was okay, and comforted her when she wasn’t, and for that, she was forever grateful to have Amethyst as a friend.

“Oh, yeah..,” Amethyst said, looking away from Peridot. She now sounded unusually quiet and distant. “That.”

“If you, um, do not mind me asking.. May I ask what was it?” Peridot asked, as she was now curious about what had happened earlier, but hoping she hadn’t upset Amethyst by bringing it up.

“Yeah, you’re fine dude, don’t worry about it. So, basically, we all found out that Rose and Pink Diamond were the same person. Like, she faked her identity and lied to everyone about it. Right? So, that got Garnet to split up, then Sapphire freaked out, and hurt Ruby’s feelings by basically saying their whole relationship was, y’know, based on a lie, and then Sapphire ran off. Then Ruby ran off, Sapphire came back, and after Ruby thought about it, she still wanted to be with Sapphire, so they reunited, and Ruby proposed to Sapphire, so now they’re getting married, I guess. I hope that doesn’t confuse you or anything, I’m.. not really the best at explaining stuff. Y’know?”

“What..?” Peridot asked, now completely shocked and a little mind blown at the information Amethyst had just given her. She now stared at the quartz, wide-eyed, as she was trying to comprehend what Amethyst had just told her. Rose Quartz, THE Rose Quartz, is Pink Diamond? Garnet almost split up for good? Ruby and Sapphire are getting married? Whatever that meant. What?

“Yeah..,” Amethyst sighed, with an unreadable look on her face and the tone of her voice sounding rather upset. She then crossed her arms and tilted her head upwards, managing to avoid making eye contact with Peridot, again.

“...Married?” Peridot questioned her, tilting her head as she gave Amethyst a confused look. She did not really what the concept of marriage was. No one ever bothered to explain it to her and it never really mattered whether she knew or not because why would it?

“Oh, right, I forgot. You don’t really know what marriage is,” Amethyst remembered as it had just dawned on her. She then looked back at Peridot, “Soo, to put it into nerd terms, it basically like ‘the state of being united as spouses in a consensual relationship that is recognized by the law’ or whatever.”

“Oh uh okay. So, will there be an event held for this occasion?”

“It’s a called a wedding, ya dork,” Amethyst responded in a now playful tone of voice, half-smiling at the technician that sat next to her. “Gee Peri, I thought your soap opera show or your tablet woulda taught ya this stuff by now.”

“Well, clearly neither of them did. Why would they?” Peridot quipped, slightly irritated with Amethyst’s sarcastic comments. She then crossed her arms, and shot Amethyst a small glare in response. Frankly, it wasn’t Amethyst that was irritating her, it was just her bringing up Camp Pining Hearts to tease her that irritated her, as she was rather sensitive to the topic at the moment. It then went quiet for about a minute or two. Peridot finally broke the silence between them by saying, “I have heard about Pink Diamond before. Though no one really mentioned her other then the fact that she was shattered by the Rose Quartz.”

Amethyst then again went back to avoiding making eye contact with Peridot, and crossing her arms, “Yeah… turns out that wasn’t true..”

“So… Steven now has Pink Diamond’s gem?” Peridot asked her.

“Yep…,” Amethyst answered, the tone of her voice growing remote. Detached. “Heh. I mean, it sucks, but, she did it for a reason.”

“Yeah, and look how that turned out, Amethyst. Her faking her shattering, and then to continue to lie to everyone about it resulted in thousands of gems being shattered, forced gem fusions, corruption, the earth becoming a huge target for Homeworld, era 2 being a total disaster so far, possibly the current resource crisis on Homeworld, and so much more I can’t list off the top of my gem right now,” Peridot explained to her, making hand gestures as she listed how Pink Diamond faking her shattering negatively impacted both Homeworld and the Earth.

“Oh yeah.. That too..”

“So, how are you feeling, Amethyst?” She asked the purple quartz, who had been acting rather off over the past few minutes, as she had now suddenly realized that Amethyst was deeply hurt by the revelation, and she probably needed someone to be there for her and comfort her right now.

“Fine… I guess.. Just.. At first, I was shocked because, y’know, Rose is actually Pink Diamond… but now it just really hit me..,” Amethyst mumbled under her breath, the tone of her voice changing from distant to pained. “That everything was.. Fake.”

“Well, technically, not everything was fake. Although she faked her personal identity, her intentions, relationships, and everything else was not,” Peridot tried to explain to her, hoping that what she was saying was at least somewhat comforting Amethyst.

“I guess…,” Amethyst sighed, the tone of her voice not changing whatsoever. She was now resting her head on the palm of her hand. “It’s just, I dunno, weird.. Y’know? Like, for the past 5000 years, I’ve known her as Rose Quartz, former leader and one of the founders of the Crystal Gems, someone I looked up to, but I guess this whole time.. We were fighting what she was apart of. What am I supposed to think of her now, Peridot?”

Peridot flinched at Amethyst calling her by her whole name. She was surprised because she wasn’t really used to it, and it was the way that Amethyst had said it. “Well, it is perfectly understandable to be conflicted about your thoughts and feelings on Rose Quartz now. So, why did she take on the identity of the Rose Quartz?” Peridot asked her, as she seemed genuinely curious about the whole thing. All of it was so interesting to her, and she just wondered why Pink Diamond would even think of such a thing.

“I dunno, I guess she just wanted to have fun at first, and then I guess she fell in love with the Earth, and then in order to preserve the planet, she became Rose Quartz permanently and faked her shattering,” Amethyst shrugged, trying her best to explain to the rather curious technician. “Sort of reminds me of you.”

“How so?”

“Y’know. Fell in love with the Earth. Tried to preserve it.”

“Well, I didn’t fake my personal identity in order to preserve it, thank you very much,” Peridot gave her a lighthearted smile, as she spoke in a playful tone of voice. “And while, yes, I am in fact entranced by Earth’s beauty, that really isn’t the only reason why I am a crystal gem now.”

“Okay smart stuff, tell me, what are your other reasons?” Amethyst questioned her, in an almost flirtatious tone of voice. She gave her a smirk that came off as playful, challenging, her eyes now half-lidded, wrapping one of her arms around Peridot's shoulder, again.

“Well, for one, the human activities being one reason, another being how prejudiced, bigoted, rigid, unfair, and rigorous the diamonds are. And, the final being so I could be here with you, Pumpkin, and the others,”She responded. Her voice went soft at the end of her list for reasons as to why she was a crystal gem.

Singling out Amethyst got her to blush, in response, saying, “I like hanging out with ya too, Peri.” And now Peridot was blushing, as she felt her cheeks burning. “Ugh.., I know all of the drama and all is over now.. But.. I guess… it just really hurts.” Peridot’s eyes widened at the surprise of Amethyst’s walls finally breaking down. “Even though I didn’t know her for as long as Garnet and Pearl did, and even though none of this is my problem or yours or Steven’s, and even though this really shouldn’t affect me, I guess, it just hurts, because, y’know, I was lied to. I thought she was so great and amazing, and that she knew everything, and that she was supposed to make everything better! Cause hey, I practically thought she was perfect! But, she didn’t. She didn't make everything better..because she ended up being the reason for so many shitty things happening… And I don’t really even blame Garnet for being upset, or even questioning why she’s together in the first place if Rose wasn’t even real.”

And at that moment, Peridot had noticed a few tears strolling down the emotionally distressed gem’s face. Her eyes widened, now unsure what to do. She had never seen Amethyst this upset, except for when she kept comparing herself to Jasper. And it hurt Peridot seeing Amethyst like that, it hurt her seeing Amethyst so upset, it hurt her seeing the gem who she cared about deeply and the gem she would do anything for crying. “...Amethyst?” She asked, the tone of her voice being filled with concerned.

Amethyst quickly buried her face into her hands, to make sure Peridot couldn’t see her crying, as it was rather embarrassing for her. “I’m fine.. Peridot,” Amethyst lied in a muffled tone of voice that wasn’t so convincing.”

Amethyst then quickly buried her face into the palm of her hands, to make sure that Peridot couldn’t see her crying, as it was rather embarrassing for her. She didn’t want Peridot to see her like this, she didn’t want to make Peridot feel bad over how she felt. “I’m fine.. Peridot,” Amethyst lied through her teeth, in a muffled tone of voice that wasn’t so convincing to Peridot.

“You’re clearly not..”

“I am.. Okay? Don’t worry about it.”

“Then why are you crying?”

Amethyst then slowly lifted her face from her hands, turning around so she could directly face Peridot. There were tears running down the side of her face, as she gave Peridot a pained and saddened look. Peridot scooted closer to her, wiping the tears off of her face, and then absentmindedly cupping her cheeking. Amethyst jumped, her cheeks turning into a darker shade of purple, rather surprised Peridot being bold enough to cup her cheek, but then sighed into the touch. “I just.. I don’t want to make this about myself. Okay? I didn’t know her for as long as Garnet and Pearl did. I didn’t know her like they did. And I don’t have her gem like Steven does. I don’t have to deal with the mess she created like he does.”

Peridot then brushed Amethyst’s bangs aside, continuing to comfort the quartz by saying, “But, you’re not making this about yourself, Amethyst. It’s okay for you to feel hurt by this, it’s okay to feel sad about it. It’s perfectly understandable, you were very close to her too.”

Amethyst then gave her the most tender look, gently putting her hand on Peridot’s hand, the hand that was cupping her cheek. This Peridot to slightly smile and give her a lopsided smile in response. Amethyst’s smile then faded, and she was now avoiding making eye-contact again, “Sorry for dumping all of this on you P-dot.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it too much, because you’re not. And, even if you are, I-I like being there for you, and getting to make you feel better,” Peridot stammered, suddenly kind of nervous, as she didn’t want to make Amethyst feel like she was being a burden or like she was bothering her, because she wasn’t.

“Pft, okay. Thanks for letting me vent to ya, Per,” Amethyst snorted, a warm and radiant smile now returning to her face. “So, lemme ask you this, when’da ya get so good at this comforting stuff?”

“To be perfectly honest with you, I guess I got it from being around you and the others,” She shrugged in response, not really actually knowing. She wasn’t the best at comforting Amethyst the time when she was upset about Jasper. She tried her best, but it didn’t really help. Maybe she got better from dealing with Lapis for awhile and having to comfort her when she was upset. Maybe she got better from staying with the gems again, and seeing how they comfort others when they’re upset. She really didn’t know.

“Eh probably,” She said as she smiled lovingly at the technician, then wrapping one of her arms around her shoulder again. “So, was the ruckus and the drama the only reason you hid in here?”

“No, not really, actually. I’ve just been thinking as I have had a lot on my mind recently,” Peridot truthfully answered, the smile on her face turning into a frown, looking at Amethyst with a sad but almost shy look in her eyes. There was no point in lying to Amethyst. Why would she?

“Like what exactly?” Amethyst asked out of curiosity. The smile on her face then faded, as it was now her turn to let Peridot vent and make her feel better.

“I.. miss her. And a part of me wishes that she could be here so I could show her how far my metal powers have progressed, how much I’ve grown, and I wish that she could be here for the wedding,” Peridot as she vented to Amethyst. This got the look on Amethyst’s face to change from concern to dismay. She really didn’t mean to give Peridot this look. But she couldn’t help it. She wasn’t even upset or annoyed with Peridot for bringing Lapis up again or still missing her. She couldn’t be. Amethyst understood why she did, she understood that Peridot cared a lot about Lapis and wanted the best for her and wanted to help her. She was rather upset and annoyed with Lapis for hurting Peridot the way she did. “But, I can’t keep on missing her like that, she held me back, and missing her like this is holding me back now. I am now doing things that I would have never been able to do if she was still here, on Earth. And I had to bend over backwards for her just to make her happy, and frankly, that was not healthy for me, at all. Besides, I have you guys now, and truthfully, I love hanging out with you and getting to do things together like gardening and improv.”

Amethyst gave Peridot one of the softest smiles she had ever given her, “Well, I’m really proud of you for realizing that, Per. And I’m glad you’re talking to me about this stuff.” She then got up and took a step out of the tub. “Well, I’m gonna go see what’s going on out there. You wanna come with?” She held a hand out to Peridot as an offer to help her up.

In response, Peridot smiled back at her, lovingly and softly, taking her offer by grabbing her hand, “Yes. Thank you.” Amethyst then carefully and gently helped her up and out of the tub.

“Per?”

“Yeah?”

Peridot felt two bigger arms wrapped around her back. Amethyst then pulled her in and rested her head on Peridot’s shoulder, softly but quietly saying “Thank you..” into her ear.

The color of Peridot’s cheeks then turned into a light blue, as she said back “You’re welcome” in a soft and adoring tone of voice, embracing the hold by wrapping her arms around Amethyst.

#amedot #steven universe #fanfiction #evie writes #fic #su

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shinneth · 5 years

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Gem Ascension Tropes (Peridot-specific: I - K)

Reference:

Primary Peri Post ▼ Primary General Post ▼ Full Article

I Am What I Am: While technically in Chartreuse’s form in this moment, Steven’s (as Pink 2.0) intensive Epiphany Therapy towards the end of Chapter 8 of Act III revolves around Peridot’s inner turmoil and self-acceptance regarding her past life as a Manipulative Bastard, which has wracked her with endless guilt since her canon Heel-Face Turn. Said guilt turns out to be what is really inhibiting Peridot’s ability to fuse with Steven. Once it’s lifted when Peridot fully accepts herself, she not only finds that she and Steven can fuse after all, but together fulfill an ancient prophecy as the Diamond of Miracles.

I Gave My Word: Peridot promised herself and everyone else that she’d save everyone trapped on Homeworld and make sure they’re brought home to Earth, and remembering this often helps shake her out a mental funk she’s stuck in.

I Hate Past Me: A major internal issue for Peridot that only gets worse the further she progresses through Homeworld as former repressed memories of how horrible she was as a Homeworld Gem are inadvertently regained. White Diamond actively tortures Peridot by making her watch these memories in Act III, and this ends up weighing down so heavily on Peridot’s conscience that it inhibits her potential for fusion.

I Just Want to Be Special: Peridot is well aware she’s the weakest Crystal Gem, is one of the most common types of gems in existence (as well as the lowest-regarded kind in society) and is destined to be insignificant as an Era 2 gem who will never measure up to her friends. That hasn’t stopped her from going above and beyond to avert this even in her Homeworld days, and now being able to legitimately lead what’s left of the Crystal Gems is Peridot’s opportunity to really stand out and shine. However…

I Just Want to Be Normal: By Act III, it’s revealed Peridot is not only a Chosen One, but a one-of-a-kind Unwitting Test Subject that hasn’t been seen in several millennia. She becomes the first and only ascended gem, capable of being an ordinary gem and a Diamond simultaneously. This consequently makes her the only Era 2 gem with Era 1 capabilities, the only Diamond to be created from another gem, and then there’s her ridiculously powerful ability to conjure things by willing them into existence. All of this is thrown onto Peridot at once, who was determined not to let White Diamond compromise her identity… only to succumb to her fate following a Moment of Weakness. This trope is especially prevalent in Peridot at the very end of GA and all stories following it, as the consequences of her achievements in Act III force Peridot onto a pedestal she doesn’t feel ready for. Ironically, all of this is something Peridot would have been fully on board with prior to her Character Development.

I Let Gwen Stacy Die: Double Subverted with Pumpkin. Celadon Diamond – a fusion of Chartreuse Diamond and White Diamond – killed Pumpkin (while attempting to kill Greg, which he narrowly avoided). While Celadon used willpower (inherited from her Peridot/Chartreuse component) to do the deed, Peridot herself tried to do everything she could to make the fusion hold back. However, resigning to the fusion the way she had made Peridot’s influence on Celadon very limited; White was a much more dominant presence in the fusion, and her desire to kill Steven’s father overpowered Peridot’s resistance. It was only after this happened that Peridot managed to find a way to break the fusion, after several failed attempts. Had she been able to break the fusion earlier, all of this could have been avoided. While Peridot knows it wasn’t fully her fault that she lost Pumpkin, severely injured Greg, and destroyed the Crystal Gems’ spaceship, the fact remains that it was her power that caused this mess. Peridot failed to use her powers to save Pumpkin despite her efforts, and until Steven consoles her later in Act III, she laments that she could have spared Pumpkin, Greg, and their ship from this if only she had been strong enough to break or hold back the fusion. She also could have prevented this if she hadn’t fallen prey to White’s tactics earlier that rendered her emotionally vulnerable, which allowed the Celadon fusion to happen in the first place.

I Lied: Manipulative Bastard Peridot says this verbatim to 9FC in a flashback shown in Chapter 2 of Act III in regards to their friendship.

I Owe You My Life: Peridot wholeheartedly credits her life to Steven. It’s more than him simply liberating her from the oppressive Homeworld life where Individuality is Illegal and giving her a second chance when no one else would. Because he spent so much time teaching Peridot about Earth, as well as talking to her and enjoying life together, Peridot has very good reason to believe her “Great and Lovable” self would never have existed without him. She’s deeply grateful for it and makes sure Steven knows she feels that way several times in the story.

Before this (though it takes a long time for Peridot to remember this), Lapis is similarly credited simply due to coming in just in time before Peridot’s Near-Rape Experience with Jasper went any further than that. Lapis had no intention of saving Peridot; in fact, she was more than willing to let Peridot be subjected to the full extent of being violated for the sake of her own safety. However, Jasper was naturally more drawn to Lapis not only out of instinct, but lust/alleged “love” – meaning Lapis inadvertently took the bullet for Peridot anyway. Several times, at that, while the three were a team together. While the trauma surrounding the incident and Peridot’s own reprehensible behavior during this time were so overwhelming that they had to be fully repressed and nearly forgotten in order for Peridot to function properly after this, she never let herself forget that Lapis did save her from an incident that nearly erased her entire identity – which can be seen as her life being saved. This was the main reason why Peridot went out of her way to be accommodating for Lapis in canon, even at her own expense.

I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Played with. Peridot was fully prepared to be rejected by Steven when it came to the pursuit of a romantic relationship. No matter how jealous she was over her competition, Peridot valued her friendship with Steven far too much to jeopardize it over a selfish desire. She will gladly put Steven’s needs above her own every time. Thankfully for her, it never came to this.

I Will Only Slow You Down: Her rationale when she tells Steven and Garnet to Go on Without Me. White Diamond is just a couple of minutes away, which affords them no time to break the gate with brute force, while Peridot is too fatigued and injured to save herself. While she tries to smile at her friends without showing any tears or sorrow, that briefly fades when Peridot turns her head to hear White Diamond closing in. She resumes her smile when she looks back at Garnet and Steven, now more adamantly ordering them to leave her behind.

I Will Wait for You: Has this sentiment for Steven regarding her feelings for him, under the assumption that he may not be ready for that kind of relationship yet or if he’s with someone else entirely. Peridot’s got all the time in the world to wait for her turn. Luckily for her, she doesn’t have to wait too long.

I’m Having Soul Pains: When Peridot tries to do too much with her willpower in her base form, she will suffer this in the form of headaches, fatigue, and overall physical strain. This is due to her form not being a very good conductor for this kind of power; this kind of side-effect does not happen when performing the same feats (or greater) as Chartreuse Diamond. Only problem is that Peridot doesn’t exactly like to be Chartreuse unless she absolutely has to…

The Immodest Orgasm: It’d be more surprising if someone as naturally loud, expressive, and dramatic as Peridot didn’t behave this way. And sure enough, this is what happens in Chapter 2 of It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is.

Improvised Weapon: Even post-ascension, Peridot never gains an official weapon. Beforehand, she literally could not summon one from her gemstone due to her limitations as an Era 2 gem. Now charged with willpower, Peridot can summon pretty much any weapon she wants for the right situation, assuming she can decide on what to go with. Prior to this, Peridot improvised at least two weapons in a hammer (which she later gifted to an unarmed Connie) and a piece of metal scrap she was able to manipulate into whatever shape she wanted. Although it was mainly a mode of transport, Peridot also used a steel beam to ram into a pallid gem late in Act I.

Drop the Hammer: Though she used it very sparingly before giving it to Connie, Peridot did use the hammer to damage Yellow Diamond badly enough to stun her for the entire battle.

Indy Ploy: Peridot is forced to resort to this in Chapter 5 of This is Who I Am. 5XG is strangling the Light Steven in a separate dimension – consequently, Dark Steven (Peridot’s opponent) is unable to breathe due to his life being bound to his counterpart’s. Being isolated in a separate dimension makes Peridot unable to directly interfere with her counterpart’s efforts… except for one way: injuring herself. The problem is that 5XG is extremely resilient to damage, so Peridot has to inflict a severe injury on herself to have any hope of causing enough mutual damage to disrupt her dark self. With both Stevens moments away from being choked to death, Peridot has no choice but to go with her instincts, as there’s no time to think anything through. She knows it’s a bad idea to directly damage her own gemstone, but being bereft of options and not having the luxury of taking time to think this through leaves her with no choice. She stabs her own gemstone with a broken floor tile – this does force 5XG to stop, but now both Peridots are on death’s door. Luckily for them, Light Steven is merciful enough to heal the one who almost killed him while Dark Steven begrudgingly respects Peridot’s efforts to save his life and heals her to avoid feeling indebted. Ultimately, this insane plan helps end both deathmatches, as both Peridots are too injured to function while both Stevens are too fatigued to carry on, leading to a draw where both Steven and Peridot escape with their lives against all odds.

Inelegant Blubbering: Downplayed, but Peridot’s reunion with Steven in Act I includes sobbing into his chest, calling him every derogatory name she can think of, and punching his shoulder for each insult. Being that Peridot is severely injured, she’s not hurting Steven at all and it isn’t long before she fully devolves into this. Badly enough that the Crystal Gems need to split up and relocate, since Peridot’s cries are garnering unwanted attention.

Inferiority Superiority Complex: Still burdened with this, as Peridot can’t really escape being faced with constant limitations as the only Era 2 of the Crystal Gems… until she ascends, of course. But even then, she has limitations on her new powers unless she shifts into Chartreuse Diamond. She’s constantly self-conscious as a leader, and now that Peridot has regained her memories of her life as a Homeworld Gem, she has a lot of Old Shame moments that are hard for her to live down… especially when the Homeworld refugees constantly remind her of those times.

Insecure Love Interest: Downplayed, as this mostly applies to Peridot after she regains her memories about how awful she used to be during her pre-Earth life. It’s only hinted at in Act II; by Act III, Peridot also struggles with her identity as an Unwitting Test Subject that led to her betraying her friends early on. While it’s seemingly mended with Steven’s declaration of them being an Official Couple by Chapter 5, another problem arises in their inability to fuse. By Chapter 8, it’s revealed the primary cause of that was Peridot’s own guilt over her past crimes weighing her down to the point where she subconsciously believed she didn’t deserve to fuse with Steven.

Insistent Terminology: At the end of It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is, Steven points out the Department of Redundancy Department nature of Peridot’s GA-exclusive catchphrase, “stupid idiot”. Peridot’s response?

Peridot: “It’s not redundancy, clod. It’s emphasis.”

Steven: “I’m… not following.”

Peridot: “Some people can be stupid; others are idiots… but it takes a special kind of clod mentality to achieve the level of stupid idiot, Steven. When I say you’re a stupid idiot, I mean you’re an idiot even by idiot standards, get it?”

Insufferable Genius: Per canon, Peridot definitely has her moments of this, although she’s often prone to self-criticism in the story as well. Sometimes, she deliberately invokes this trope in an attempt to cover something up (usually an insecurity).

Internalized Categorism: Downplayed as time goes on; in Act II, she admits to envying Amethyst for being a gem made on Earth rather than Homeworld, as Peridot had grown to loathe being associated with her home planet in any way. Still, Peridot knows there’s nothing that can be done about it, and she soon no longer has the luxury of lamenting over such trivial details. But then, it’s revealed Peridot is part-Diamond in Act III – and this trope returns with a vengeance. Peridot learns to accept herself by the end of the primary GA series, but still isn’t really comfortable about embracing her Diamond heritage.

Involuntary Shapeshifting: Happens a couple of times. Most notably, she shifts into her Chartreuse Diamond form as she grieves over Pumpkin’s death that only makes her destructive reactions worse.

It Sucks to Be the Chosen One: For all the times Peridot wanted to stand out and be special, she didn’t get to enjoy even a second of it when it was revealed in Act III that she is a very unique Chosen One after all. While Peridot eventually has Steven to lean on to share her burdens with, the Post-GA stories exaggerate their woes as the new Era 3 operation looms over them, as they are the designated centerpieces for the operation, being the only diamonds left in existence at that point. Stories taking place after their project launches show that the burden of responsibility and work have weighed heavily upon the pair.

It’s All About Me: Heavily downplayed due to the high stakes and circumstances of Peridot’s goals in the story, but still has her moments of this. Played very straight regarding who Peridot used to be before she was assigned to monitor Earth.

It’s Personal: Messing with Steven automatically makes any matter personal for Peridot. After Act I, it becomes more personal as White Diamond directly messes with her life and compromises her identity that brings life-long consequences. Then Pumpkin gets brought into it, and… the results are not pretty.

Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She’s still full of herself, she’s still a brat, and she’s still prone to respond aggressively, but don’t ever question Peridot’s love for her friends, her loyalty towards her family, or what she’s willing to do or what she has to sacrifice to keep them out of harm’s way.

Jerkass Ball: Chapter 6 of Act III: after failing to fuse with Steven during their private time together, Peridot covers up her misery with this in order to function not only as a Crystal Gem, but a co-leader of the team, as well as avoid admitting her confirmed inability to fuse to the rest of her friends. However, this façade only makes it more apparent to the others that something is wrong with Peridot, who absolutely refuses to talk about it.

Jerkass Woobie: Peridot in a nutshell after her Near-Rape Experience with Jasper, but before her Heel-Face Turn when she aligned herself with the Crystal Gems.

Jumped at the Call: The moment she realizes Steven’s in trouble, Peridot not only does this, but is irked the others didn’t react like this and instead waited for her to reform before doing anything at all.

Karma Houdini: Until she met Jasper, Manipulative Bastard Peridot suffered no consequences whatsoever for her horrific behavior on Homeworld. She literally got away with murder on several occasions; even worse, often got rewarded for it. Peridot’s good fortune abruptly ran out once she was finally promoted and got on Yellow Pearl’s bad side; ever since her first encounter with Jasper, misfortune followed Peridot everywhere she went. Before long, she was finally suffering the consequences for her cruel ambitions.

5XF expresses that she has no desire to become “another 5XG” regarding her own despicable actions during Chapters 4 and 5 of This is Who I Am. Apparently “5XG” is a synonym for this trope now.

The Killer in Me: The Amnesiac variety, as Peridot is horrified and disgusted to remember how reprehensible she used to be once she reaches Homeworld, and how many lives were lost due to her actions, directly or otherwise.

The Klutz: Per canon, but also the reason why Gem Ascension didn’t end with Act I. Actually heavily downplayed in Act I after leaving Earth, specifically so it happening in Act I’s climax would be even more impactful and unexpected.

Knight, Knave, and Squire: The Squire to Bismuth’s Knight and Lapis’ Knave.

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anothertublruser1992-blog · 6 years

Text

Observations about A Single Pale Rose

I first want to say that I don’t mind the whole ‘Rose is Pink Diamond’ thing; there has been hints and build up for that for years now so I don't doubt for a moment that it was intended from the beginning that it was to be.

I have sat and thought about the episode, thought about it, re-watched older episodes and like many fans who don't know why they can't find to agree with the turn of events have come to this conclusion: The reason why A Single Pale Rose's twist doesn't feel right for many of us fans is because it doesn't make sense due to what was given to us throughout the series as of now and how it was presented.

Much like an athlete getting ready for the Olympics, I think the crew fell short when it came to some aspects to this reveal and then stumbled when it came to the twist, but before we get into that I want to talk about what WASN'T the crew's fault:

The time it took to get to this reveal.

As we know, SU is NATORIOUS for it's hiatuses, but what most people don't know is that Season 5 was originally part of Season 3, and is referred to as Season 3B by the crew. This was due to the Cartoon Network extending the series out longer, normally that's great right? More episodes of a great show, especially for a cartoon that's great, so why not just stick to the original plan then and air Season 3B as intended? Well...here's the thing: I think Steven Universe is like Avatar the Last Airbender, it has a ending in mind. The show is designed around and is following a timeline, so by making the crew extending the length of the show by an additional two years, they run the risk of ending the show early on, and that could have been bad, so they had no choice but to add, AND YES SOME OF IT IS, filler episodes. I think this caused Season's 3 hiatus.

There are always things we don't know what happened behind the scenes, but we do know of this one (it was mentioned in a podcast with the crew, I don't remember which one but here's a reddit link talking about “what is season 3B?” ”https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenuniverse/comments/6zbzn6/can_someone_explain_this_to_me_of_production/

Anyway onto what this whole thing is about. What doesn't make sense of the reveal. Here is what I'm going to go over in my post and go into detail on why it doesn't make sense, due to pre-established facts the crew has laid down or due to simple physics and logic behind them. Strap your butts in people, this is gonna be a long one

Why didn't Blue Diamond recognize Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz's voice while she was attacking the Cloud Arena?

Why didn't anyone tell Rose Quartz's gem stone wasn't a Rose Quartz gem? This especially goes hard against Peridot when she looked at Steven's gem and had mistook him for “Some kind of Quartz, right?”

Why does Pink Diamond's gem facets change when rotating (this one EVERYONE talks about but I'm going to only talk about it briefly)

Why doesn't Pink's Gem have a band on the “Normal” side of her gem, and if that's the case, then why does it suddenly get one after she poofs?

Why does her gem change size and color?

Why does her color pallet change, adding a new unused color to the Rose Quartz form when she shape-shifts to it, making it fundamentally impossible to do so due to established information.

Pink's inconsistent height throughout the show...in more ways than one

Why Didn't Blue recognize Pink's voice? We saw in Garnets' flashback in The Answer that Rose and Pearl attacked the Cloud Arena and Rose clearly called out to Blue herself. I don't think Garnet would lie to Steven, out of all the gems, she has been the most honest (and obviously will be the most devastated when she learns of Pink's deception) so I am taking this scene to be 100% truth, so again, why didn't Blue Diamond, who had close dealings with Pink Diamond not recognize her voice? It's not like she SAW Rose Quartz attacking, her back was turned away.

We also know that gems have unique voices, a voice to each gemstone type, and being Diamonds, they have even more chances of their voices being recognized as there are only four known Diamonds in the entire gem species...so again, unless Pink Diamond made all her RQ’s sound like her (and I don’t think she did, after all, she only became RQ to try to derail the colony and end it before killing off her PD identity forever. As a side note, I think we have heard a real RQ voice already...the little voice in the Zoo...funny how we thought that was PD.)

This is just one of the few plot holes that opened up when this reveal happened.

youtube

This next one is could be missed, but when you REALLY think about it doesn't make sense when your whole species are gemstones...

How, how in the entire universe could another gem not tell one gemstone from another? I've heard an argument it was due to the facet face of the gems; that was how they could distinguish one gemstone type from another (because gemstones can vary from color to color) but we HAVE seen an amethyst with a square facet in the Gem Heist.

So...we can now debunk the facet recognition. Now let's look at gemstones, specifically Rose quartz and a Pink diamond. Let’s look at Rose Quartz gemstones:

I've included pictures of Rose quartz gemstones that have been cut and polished to look like diamonds, since that would be best used for this augment. Now let’s look at some Pink Diamonds:

Here we have RQ gemstones in rings and Pink diamonds while not in rings, and while they are beautiful we can see something quite obvious about RQ gems vs a Diamond gem: They're opaque. Even when they're highly polished and cut to match a diamond, they are more opaque than a regular diamond would be, and that can be spotted right away, even if it is embedded onto a body of a person.

With that said...HOW did Peridot, a CERTIFIED gem technician, who's previous job was gem creation (probably why she was sent to check on the cluster due to her vast KNOWLEDGE of gem), failed to recognized a quartz stone verses a Diamond stone? This is a HUGE plot hole that makes Peridot look stupid, and we know she isn't.

Pinks facets, they change when she transforms...they shouldn't. This has been talked over and over so I'm just going to say that it has been stated as fact that Gems' gemstone is their true self, and the one thing they can not change about themselves (put a pin in that, we'll be coming back to that shortly) so it's physically impossible for that to happen so here's my explanation:

It's due to the animation having to match the Rose Quartz Gem design to the Pink Diamond design and the animator shifted it like that...it is literally an inbetween frame (or tweening)of animation. It's not technically an animation error...but a model error because when they designed Pinks' gem they designed it in such a way to give us a “twist” that we wouldn't think she was RQ at all...but when the time came to pull off the deed it didn't make sense in animation so we got that...animation error looking thing instead. This was due to simple poor planning.

Okay now I'm going to talk about Gem Bands. Gems have bands on their gemstones, why? It actually hasn't been established as to why Gems have them, but I had thought it was to help the gem orientation when they were re-forming back into their forms. The only gemstone who didn't have one of these bands was Bismuth...due to obvious reasons.

So we know that NOT ALL GEMS have these rings, that is known fact. So when Pink's gem rotated, that could have worked if she didn't have a ring right? …...........right? WELL....It has already been proven in past episodes that not only does STEVEN'S gem (the RQ gem...Pink's gem) Have a ring on it, but in the VERY same episode when Rose-Pearl poofs Pink and hold's her gem in her hand...it suddenly has a band that wasn't seen on the RQ side....where it should have been visible in her Pink Diamond form....do you see the problem with the design yet? Where did it come from, then where did it go...where Cotton eye Joe, tell me?!?

This one is my biggest pet peeve of this whole thing...Pink's gem size and how it changes size and shape when she goes from being Pink Diamond to Rose Quarts (poofed form) Now, Pink is small for a Diamond, but she's still big for a common gem and her gemstone is still very big as seen on this height chart here:

But...you can already see an inconsistency with that height chart huh. Pink's gemstone is much larger than the Rose Quartz gemstone that we normally see, even if it was inverted to the RQ position. This would kinda...hurt Steven. An artist, ghostydraws already beat me to the punch with this beauty:

http://ghostydraws.tumblr.com/post/173727020602/revenge-of-the-steven-universe-proportions

So well, shoot how do you fix that? Well...The crew simply ignores it by literally having the gemstone SHRINK when Pink Diamond poofs to the point where it's handheld size.

I watched this episode on my break at work, and I face-palmed myself when this happened, and my coworker asked what did I watch to make me do this. ( I lied and said I was watching a Trump video to cover up the stupidity of my reaction )

Another thing that bothered me was whenever Pink is in the RQ form, she has a new color to her pallet, her skin tone. All the colors on the RQ form can be found (or similar shades) on her Pink Diamond form except the skin color on the RQ form and that can't be possible. We know that gems can only shape-shift to the color pallet of their original form. This has been proven time and time again...so why suddenly can Pink Diamond pull a new color out of thin air?

Can you see how...insulting this is too us as an long time audience? An audience who has been paying attention closely to the lore of the show only for the creators to suddenly throw out half of it for the sake of a twist? That isn't good writing. And if they go with “It was magic that did it” option...then I'll officially call Pink Diamond a Mary Sue and trust me, she was already very close to being one.

EDIT: I would also like to state that I don’t like the “It’s the crew’s usual animation inconsistencies” excuse. I don’t like that the crew has tattooed that stigma onto themselves and it has become an excuse for any errors outside of small animation errors. These guys have been working on the show for 5 years now, and had 5 years to get to this reveal...they have no excuses anymore...

Finally I want to briefly talk about that had me thinking that it was part of the problem but in retrospect.....maybe we'll get more answers...because it's raised more questions for me.

Pink's height inconstancy is really something...and it's not the usual SU Crew animation thing either. First the Moonbase chair...for Pink Diamond's chair...it's really small...even for her.

Then we got the flashback dream in Jungle moon and saw that she was the same height as Stevonnie:

Well, okay then, but then we got A Single Pale Rose and found out she's about twelve to fifteen feet tall...what? Then look at her chair in her palanquin...it's...a bit big for her, like she couldn’t sit back in that thing and not look like a kid sitting in a armchair.

then we look at her Zoo and see her bed is huge...where Blue or Yellow could comfortably lay down on? What is going on here? Was she getting bigger as she aged, is that what the Crew is implying? I think we haven't learned all there is about Pink Diamond or Diamonds in general yet...I'm actually kinda excited to find out more, as they are the most mysterious of gems we have.

We still have several unanswered questions of Rose/Pink herself: Why would she go off by herself? How did Lion came to be? Personally, I think she went off by herself to ‘take a break’ from the RQ form, as we know Gems can’t hold a shape-shifted form forever, and we know when reforming gems still look like themselves, but only modify their clothes and hair and to an extent limbs, but that can make them unstable if they do too much.

I’m not saying that the twist was bad, (well...it was, but for all the wrong reasons) but I hope that the crew does realize what they did to an extent to the show. I am looking forward to learning more about what is going to happen with this new information with PD, how everyone will react etc, perhaps they’ll question it too? Who knows? There is still soooo much to look forward to in the show.

#steven universe #su #Rebecca Sugar #a single pale rose #su critical #pearl steven universe #su pearl #su pink diamond #su criticism #su crystal gems #su diamond #su blue diamond #They really didn't think this through #it's a mess of an episode when you think about it

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moonraccoon-exe · 6 years

Note

(4) And thank you for still being here despite the technical problems atm. I can hug you right? *snuggels you* -Peridot

Heya Peridot, my dear friend. Sorry I answered in this strange order of the last being the first, but I thought you’d be more comfortable if I hid the raw parts of this, as obvious as they may be, because one thing is to come rant to me and let the words flow in your moment of sadness and another thing is re Reading when you’re more calm. So I hope it’s okay that I answered this way and that it’s okay to have hid those bits?

*hugs*

Dear Peridot. Many times you leave me not knowing what to say, both for the good and bad things. And it’s not that this is bad as in “this made me feel bad” sort of thing, no. It’s bad in the sense of, it makes you feel bad, and that doesn’t make me happy. But it makes me glad that you decided to share this with me. Venting is always important, very useful, and very much needed at times. Taking something like this out of your chest usually Works to take at least a Little bit of the weight off it.

Lemme add a keep Reading, aye, buddy?

Again, sorry for any tipos that may come up, as this computer is much bigger than what I had and hence what I’m used to and it still Will try to correct a lot of words.

Thank you for having the courage to tell me you haven’t been alright lately. It takes a lot to do that, sometimes. It’s very important and very good that you acknowledge that you’re not quite alright, and better that you tell someone of your trust. It seems like such a Little thing but it really is a big important first step to recovery.

Don’t worry about sounding repetitive. You’re not. Indeed, it would be strange that you didn’t talk a lot about this. Something like what happened is not something anyone experiences, and it’s not easy in any way. No matter how strong, patient, or anything else, it’s still a huge impact that leaves a giant mark. It’s not easy. Not the tiniest bit. And it’s no something you get over with. Something like this…sometimes, you don’t. Sometimes, you don’t get over this scenario.

And that’s okay. That’s valid, it’s normal, more common than it seems, and it’s okay. Maybe it won’t ever stop hurting. Most times, in these cases, the best we can get is that it hurts less with time, but no matter how Little it hurts, it still hurts. Because that’s how tough and big this is. It’s something crude and raw and it leaves a huge impact. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t family or an intimate friend, you had a link, a bond with him, and no matter how weak or strong or close or distant, it was connected to you. And it broke, still beign part of you. Of course you can’t and won’t get over it. You can’t think that. You won’t. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t heal or that you’re doing bad or that you’re weak or that you’re being repetitive, because you’re not. You’re just hurt in a way that not many get hurt, and the scar Will always ache, and you can’t blame anyone and nothing for that.

And it’s sad? Yes. And horrible, because what you would give to stop thinking about it and stop aching. But still crying over it is okay, too. You’re a beautiful human being with a giant heart that feels. You can’t expect to not experience pain with such a big heart.

I’m so, so, so wholeheartedly, immensely, and terribly sorry that the guy came out of the trials ‘clean’. Reading that made my heart weigh and drop, and it felt…like a punch in the guts. I can’t imagine how you felt. If there’s things I can’t handle and that I despise with every pore of my existence, that’s lies and unjustice. I can’t believe people are willing to let a culprit walk out with no consequences through the open doors. Someone that everyone knows is guilty, that did wrong, that should be punished….allowed out. On his own feet, clean, free, victorious. Getting away with such horrible crime…daring to take someone’s life, and be told ‘you can go home and continue your daily life’ as if…as if a human life didn’t matter.

It gets on me. I’m disgusted, angry. I have this horrible taste in my tongue and this horrible sensation of a black hole behind the stomach. It sickens me. All the pain he caused…the wrong and bad he did, the blood he spilled, and the pain to dozens, hundreds of people that were taken from a loved one so unexpectedly. All that pain that he caused…taking a good life while his, bad and rotten, remains…it Angers me so much. He’s lucky I’m not personally involved, or I’d have probably paid someone to go get his head. I can’t stand this. I can’t believe it.

I’m so, so sorry Peridot. If I feel like this…so impotent, so powerless, so angry, so fucking angry and so frustrated…I can’t imagine what you’re going through. It must be the same, but a thousand, a million times worse. To know that that fuckface is in his house right now, free to live his life as if he didn’t take another one that was a million times brighter and more beautiful than his…gods fuck me, I’m so, so upset. My stomach is a mess right now.

Lack of witnesses or proof. What a fucking lie. There are a thousand methods to catch the culprit. My biology teacher (who has a doctorate) said it, there’s no perfect crime because there Will lways, always be something that points to the truth. What happens is that your friend wasn’t someone rich or famous, that’s what happens. Because when the rich are involved, they catch the criminal within a few days and sentence him immediately. But because the rest of us, middle and low class, don’t matter, so don’t our deaths and crimes. So they get lazy in investigation, and hence, lazy in trials, and hence, every criminal walks out through the fucking doors, free and victorious, knowing they can do it again and again and again because there Will be no consequences. Because we don’t matter. That’s how the law Works in almost every fucking country of this planet. Because we’ve normalized death so much, investigating death is someone’s ‘job’ only, because ‘this happens every day’. Yes, well, maybe if we actually investigated as if every life matteres, then maybe we’d catch all the criminals, and if they were all properly reprimanded, then maybe I DON’T KNOW, THERE WOULDN’T BE MORE CRIMINALS TO DO THE SAME????

Fuck me. I’m…so upset. So angry, so…unbelievably frustrated and impotent.

I’m so sorry, Peridot. I didn’t mean to rant to you. It’s just that I really can’t believe that he came out of that completely clean when everyone knows he’s not. Laws anger me sometimes because…sometimes it’s the laws what are an obstacle to justice. Everyone knows it was him, but because some stupid paper says ‘okay we know it was him but we need some material proof that shows he did it’, just because of that stupid concept…just because of that, despite everyone knowing he did it, you can’t jail him.

I do would have liked him to stay in prison all life. You can’t take someone’s life like it’s nothing. Maybe he was nothing to him, but he was the whole world to his family and Friends. He was himself and that’s enough to deserve to live. I get that you’d have liked a Little it of justice. Even if it had been just communitary service, I’d have liked it. But to let him walk out of this entirely unharmed and untouched, like he’s some…privilaged untouchable Monster that can come and go as he pleases doing whatever he pleases with no consequences? Fuck. We can’t do that. I can’t believe this…

It’s okay and really reasonable that you’re angry, and sad, and disappointed. You must also feel frustrated, impotent, and so desperate in some way. Feel all that. Let it out somehow, so long it does no harm to neither you or anyone else. VEnt it and let it free, get angry and destroy something and kick something and be sad and cry and be frustrated and roar into your pillow, and idsappointed and talk shit about the laws and the trials, be desperate and stubborn and upset and don’t talk to anyone for a day and then cry more and then Yell and do anything you need to do to let it all out, ebcause if what I?m feeling is at least 1/50 part of what you’re feeling, fuck, you need it. Let it out. Feel it and let it burn. Because it’s a horrible, horrible, terrible, horrendous disaster and a chaotic experience, and you’ve got all the reason to be feeling as you’re feeling.

Oh, Peridot. I’m so, so sorry, my dear Peridot…I don’t know what to say or do. This experience is horrible and I’m so sorry you’ve got to go through all this unfair mess…I’m so sorry…

As about the job interview, I’m so sorry that they denied you, and I’m sorry that it felt like such a generic response. But don’t feel like it was personal and that you weren’t worth a proper response. It’s not that, Darling. Remember that the people that interview you are not always those sending the emails of rejection or approval. It’s a job, and Jobs usually go from those that interview you, and sometimes those choosing you are some other people, and sometimes, it’s also a third round of different people who send the responses. And they receive many applications…it’s not that you weren’t worth a proper response, it’s that they work that way with everyone.

And do remember what I told you when you came out of the interview and you told me how it went. IT’s not that you’re not good enough. They don’t discard you for being bad. They don’t choose the best, they choose the best suited for the job, and the fact that someone is better suited than you for THAT job doesn’t make you any less good or anything. We’re all good for different things in different measures, and I don’t doubt that you were qualified and a really good option for this job…so that you weren’t the best suited for it doesn’t mean you’re not qualified for it. Just, someone else suited their needs better, but that doesn’t mean you were bad or wrong.

You did fantastic, and they were so nice to you, and that is not a lie. To them, you should be no one, so they have no reasons to be nice. And yet, they were. And if they were, that’s because they naturally felt and act that way. So it wasn’t fake, they were nice to you because they liked you.

Please, don’t feel too bad about this. I know that it must have been very, very disappointing, but please don’t take it personal and don’t let it make you have bad thoughts about yourself. You’re excellent, you give your best, and you’re really well suited for anything you want to do. Feel bad about being rejected, yes, but know that applications for a job is like exams: they don’t determine how good you are or how worth it you are. They’re a general test, not one suited personally for you, and we’re all different with different abilities. A exam, a title, or a job application, none of that defines how good you are. They may be hints of what you need to get better at, but they never, memorize it, they never define you or your abilities or your worth. You know what you’re good at, you know what you can get better at, a piece of paper or an email or the judge or the employer don’t. You.

So remember what I told you; Kuzco-fy yourself. Remember you’re fantastic, and amazing, and a deity. It’s them who are missing out their chance with you. And don’t take it in a bad way, try to see it in a good way. Being denied doesn’t mean you’re not qualified. J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter was denied by 12 different editorials. And that doesn’t mean that it was bad, or that she wasn’t qualified. Being rejected is normal, okay, and it doesn’t mean you won’t make it. You know what means you won’t make it? Giving up. Not moving on. Not trying again. IMagine if she hadn’t tried all those 13 times, that she had given up after being denied for a 7th time. Imagine not having discovered how huge of a thing HP would become.

Just recently I saw a video of an actress from Friends (I’ve never watched it so I can’t say who it was, but I do know of the huge impact Friends was), and she was rejected, too. Fired, actually, before starting the filming of another show, and it was BECAUSE she was fired from that one that she found her place in Friends. And the point of the video was her saying that, that sometimes being fired or rejected is what is meant to happen and it Will lead you to something way, way better. That it feels HORRIBLE at first, yes, but that’s just because you haven’t found that other door that wouldn’t have opened had you been accepted in that first one.

What I mean to say is, dear Peridot, that this isn’t personal, and that you’re going to find something better if you keep pushing forwards. And that you’re fantastic, and great, and you give so much good to the world, it’s only by nature going to come back to you, and that althought being rejected feels terrible, it’s sometimes only the process to get somewhere brighter and better.

I’m glad that you’re aware that I won’t get mad at your or anything. You know you can always drop by to tell me what’s in your mind and how I can help. Also, don’t refrain from talking to me despite my technical problems; my computer can’t be repaired. Or, well, it can, but it’s rather senseless because it was ‘old’ (seen from the perspective of how fast technology moves), and I had dropped it so many times before, the hardware is damaged and it isn’t very worth it.

I’m going to get a new one, but we’re very tight on money right now, so I’ll keep using my papa’s computer for a very long while. But don’t you worry and don’t let any of that refrain you from writing to me. Papa is out most of the day so I can use it then. I just gotta get used to the keyboard :)

And of course you can hug me. I’m already hugging you, you sweet muffin. That’s what I do best, right? Offer confort hugs and warm snuggles. I’m not a squishy ball of fluff just for no reason, squeeze and hug all you need and want, dear Peridot. You certainly can use a hug. Maybe it wont’ fix anything or make anything better, but it’s always a good confort that does well to the heart.

*snuggles back*

I’m going to stay curled up right next to you all the time you need. Or clingignt o your head and not letting go. Or hugged to you and snuggling. Anything and everything for the good warm huggles, all the time you need. That’s what I do best, even if it’s just virtually.

Dear Peridot, I feel frustrated because I don’t know how to confort you. I wish I was there to be able to physically do something, even ifjust stroke your hair. IT pains me to know you in pain, and experiencing such a crude thing. I’m so, so profoundly sorry that all this mess happened, and that you’re having such a rough time. I’m profoundly sorry for everything and for the way you’re feeling, my dear friend.

Know that I’m with you, as are my best wishes and vibes. I’ll be asking mommy moon to try to do something to ease those horrible feelings invading you. And I’ll be thinking about you, wishing you the best, and hoping for you to find peace of mind soon. You’ve got me virtually to snuggle you, and across the ocean to keep supporting you and sending you the best vibes I have.

Dear Peridot, I wish I had more to say but...I’m rather speechless, and only able to share my empathy with you. I’m sorry all this is happening. You deserve much better.

Have a good night, Peridot, and sleep well. I love you.

#coonreplies #coonrants #lkadkjfdkgadjg dakglj dakgladglkad #f il l e r t a g s . .--- .#.-- --.- ….---44 #peridot #personal

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sage-nebula · 7 years

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One thing I’ve noticed about fandoms over the years is that, although there are often ships that are favored by large swathes of the fandom as a whole, fandoms still tend to prioritize one character over the other despite both characters comprising the favorite ship. Whether this means that one character receives more solo fanart, or only one characters’ side of the relationship is examined, or both, fandoms almost always favor one half of the ship even when they’re discussing the ship as a whole.

In the case of Steven Universe, it’s very often Peridot who gets favored over Lapis Lazuli.

In one of the most recent episodes, Peridot expresses to Steven that she bites back certain thoughts or feelings she has because she doesn’t want to upset Lapis. She even, in her own words, “bends over backwards” to keep Lapis distracted when Steven is trapped on Homeworld. Many have taken this to mean that Lapis forces Peridot to keep her feelings and thoughts at bay. I have seen some twist and warp Lapis’ character so far that they call her a “control freak” and insinuate that she intentionally crushes Peridot under her thumb (a notion which is completely ridiculous and has no basis in canon whatsoever), but even those who seem to want to at least attempt understanding of her character say that she has pushed Peridot into controlling her feelings somehow.

However, I feel that if you watch and listen to Lapis in her scenes---really, truly pay attention to her---you’ll see a different story.

In the scene where Peridot finally reveals that she doesn’t wish to leave Earth, Lapis is confused, shocked, and---as the conversation continues---outraged. But it should be noted that her outrage does not come from the news that Peridot doesn’t want to leave. Her outrage comes from the fact that Peridot has lied about her feelings when Lapis had previously believed that Peridot was being open and honest with her. As a recap (and I’ll post a transcript under the screencap since the subs are sort of hard to read):

(LAPIS: “Peridot, what are you trying to say?”

PERIDOT: “It’s just, if something happens on Earth, I want to be here for it!”

LAPIS: “But---no! Why are you telling me this now?!”

PERIDOT: “Because we’re about to leave!”

LAPIS: “Isn’t that the worst time?”

PERIDOT: “. . . Yes!”

LAPIS: “Then why didn’t you tell me sooner?”)

Up until this point, Lapis is expressing clear confusion and shock over what Peridot is just now revealing to her. While it seems as if she’s a bit frustrated when she says no, it’s clear from her “but---” that she’s more confused than anything else. It’s also clear by looking at her. At no point in the above screencaps does her facial expression or body language express anger toward Peridot. She draws back, shocked dismayed, in the first screencap. She facepalms in her second, but she’s frowning with wide, terrified eyes in her third, as she asks why Peridot has just decided to drop this bombshell on her now. She similarly looks dismayed as she spreads her arms (vulnerability) when asking Peridot if this isn’t the worst time to tell her this news . . . and finally, when she asks why Peridot didn’t tell her sooner, she’s grasping one arm with her other hand. Body language like this shows defensiveness, unease, and fear. According to this website, in fact:

“The higher the hand grips the arm, the more defensive a person is feeling. It looks as if the person is hugging himself. When we were kids our parents used to hug us when we were sad or tense. As adults, we attempt to recreate those comfort feelings when we find ourselves in stressful situations.”

In this situation, Lapis has not only been confronted with the very sudden announcement that Peridot wishes to remain on Earth (which, to Lapis, means that Peridot wants to get caught up in another war with Homeworld), but also with the sudden realization that the person she has grown closest to has been keeping things from her for reasons she does not understand. This has left her feeling scared, vulnerable, and in need of comfort, hence why she self-soothes in this scene using body language that is markedly defensive (while her facial expression looks obviously scared).

And that’s when Peridot drops this on her:

(PERIDOT: “Well, there are many things I should say, but they would upset you, so in general, I don’t say those things.”)

And that’s when Lapis gets angry.

(LAPIS: “Peridot, that’s lying!”)

Her body language is no longer defensive, her expression is no longer fearful. Everything about her in this moment is angry. But it’s important to pay attention to why she’s angry. She isn’t angry that Peridot wants to stay. She isn’t angry that Peridot waited until just now to tell her. Those things left her shocked, confused, dismay, anxious. What makes her angry is the fact that Peridot has been refusing to tell her things for fear of upsetting her. What makes her angry is the fact that Peridot has been lying to her. What makes her angry is the fact that Peridot decided she knew what was best for Lapis without consulting Lapis herself about it.

One of Lapis’ character flaws that the fandom loves to talk about until the topic is nigh exhausted is the fact that she tends to repress her emotions until they explode later. When she is troubled, she bottles everything and withdraws, retreating to a place where she can continue to dwell on how she feels in private. Other characters generally have to prod at her to get her to tell them things, and even then, they tend to burst forth (like water from dam, so fitting) rather than being expressed in a calm, healthy way. All of this is a result of the trauma she is wrangling with after being imprisoned for 1,000 years, among many, many, many other things. It doesn’t mean this is a healthy way to deal with the situation, but it does mean that this flaw of hers does have a very good explanation.

However, something that isn’t often discussed when talking about this relationshpi is one of Peridot’s most prominent character flaws, which is that she is a (mostly) self-assured little know-it-all who believes, unless smacked in the face with evidence to the contrary, that she knows more and better than those around her (and sometimes she believes that even after being smacked in the face with the contrary). While Peridot does have anxieties related to some things, her knowledge about everything and everyone around her is something she prides herself in. Her knowledge is everything to her. This means that she not only likes to school people on technical know-how, but also that she tends to make decisions regarding the situations around her without consulting others. If she already knows what the right answer is, why bother to consult others about it? Clearly she is making the right decision. She has accounted for every variable. She knows what to do . . .

. . . even when the situation concerns someone else’s well-being . . .

. . . and even when it might not be what is actually best for them.

Enter: Lapis Lazuli coming to stay at the barn.

Peridot and Lapis did not get off on the right foot. Lapis was, understandably, extremely averse to spending time around Peridot, given that she regarded Peridot as one of her captors during the fiasco that led to her being imprisoned with Jasper beneath the sea. Peridot tried everything she could think of in order to get Lapis on her side, but nothing seemed to work until Lapis, having broken Peridot’s comfort item, was gently scolded by Steven for it. Feeling badly about this, Lapis protected Peridot from the Rubies, and Peridot felt that she had finally won Lapis over. The two stayed in the barn together after that.

Now, we don’t see the two again (iirc) until “Beta”, at which point we see that they’ve been busy creating “meep morps” together, and that they seem to be enjoying one another’s company. However, we also learn something interesting about their dynamic in that episode:

(PERIDOT: “Uh, Amethyst, I---uh---try not to use the . . . ‘J’ word so loosely around here.”)

When Amethyst explodes about Jasper still being at large, Peridot panics, and hastily informs her that she refrains from mentioning Jasper around Lapis to avoid triggering her trauma. However, look at Lapis as Peridot explains this. While she at first does stare at Amethyst in open shock, when Peridot explains that she tries not to use Jasper’s name around Lapis, Lapis’ response is to give her a very deadpan look and raised eyebrow. This is not an expression of gratitude, or one of love; this is one of exasperation, of Lapis thinking, ‘Seriously?’ It’s very clear from Lapis’ reaction---from the way she turns her surprise to Peridot, and then from the way she looks exasperated and like she’s a second away from rolling her eyes---that she never asked Peridot to do this, but that Peridot simply decided to on her own.

The thing about Lapis is that, when she is made upset by something, she flees. She might explode at someone if they’re near and she has already repressing things for a while, but that explosion will be very brief before she flees to somewhere where she can find solitude. We see this in “Barn Mates” when she repeatedly removes herself from Peridot’s presence (to, for instance, go lay on top of the water tower) because being around Peridot upsets her, and we see this again in “Room for Ruby” where, although she tries to teach Eyeball how to live on Earth as Peridot wants, she eventually can’t take it anymore, explodes, feels bad about exploding, and then retreats to the barn where she can sit quietly by herself to deal with how she’s feeling. As I stated above, this tendency to repress her feelings until she potentially explodes, but absolutely withdraw when she’s upset, is a notable flaw of hers. Rather than stay around the person she’s angry with, Lapis removes herself from the situation wholesale so that she doesn’t have to deal with it anymore. The sole exception to this was her toxic relationship with Jasper, and that is because she had to keep Jasper fused with her in order to imprison her at the bottom of the sea. Lapis couldn’t remove herself from that situation---she was trapped---so she dealt with it by lashing out at Jasper, trying to hurt Jasper just as much as Jasper was hurting her. No, it was not healthy, and no, it wasn’t a good way to deal with that situation, but that’s how abusive relationships are. There’s no “good way” to deal, you just get through it any way that you can.

Back to the matter at hand, though: Lapis’ tendency to withdraw and leave when she’s upset means that she would not have forced Peridot to act any sort of way. If Peridot was upsetting her, what is far more believably in character for Lapis is that Lapis would have left for a while until she was ready to be around Peridot again. That’s what Lapis does when she is overwhelmed by her emotions, whether those emotions are triggered by her trauma or otherwise. She leaves. She may verbally snap first (and if she does, with clear and open honesty about why she’s upset, because we’ve also seen blunt honesty from her, as well as, in “Raising the Barn”, clear dislike of lying), but she will always leave and remove herself from the situation. She would not stay there and force Peridot to act a certain way. She would leave first.

Peridot, meanwhile, is no doubt acutely aware of this, particularly given how hard it was to win Lapis over in the first place. It took an entire day’s worth of effort for Lapis to be okay with her, a decision that positively delighted Peridot:

Given how positively thrilled Peridot is at the idea that she has now won Lapis’ favor and that Lapis will be staying in the barn with her, we can reasonably assume that she does not want to do anything that might cause Lapis to lose favor of her and leave again. Particularly given that Peridot seems to be willing to fight against Homeworld should they come to Earth, one could even make the reasonable argument that pushing Lapis away has become Peridot’s greatest fear. Thus, when confronted with the possibility that Lapis could leave (particularly if, at some point between “Barn Mates” and “Beta” Lapis did withdraw and leave the barn for a time after being triggered by something), Peridot did what Peridot always does: She took it upon herself to work out the answer of how best to handle Lapis and keep her happy and therefore at the barn, without consulting Lapis herself.

Now, you may argue that Peridot does check on Lapis to make sure she’s okay in “Beta”, and that’s true. But what she does when she calls up to Lapis before leaving is not consult Lapis about how she wants Peridot to treat her, but rather ask about her emotional state right in that moment. Again, Peridot is trying to keep Lapis happy, and she figures she knows how to do this. She’s running through a checklist based on knowledge she compiled through her own prior knowledge and observations. What she is not doing, however, is directly asking Lapis if there are things she should avoid talking about, subjects she should avoid bringing up, thoughts she shouldn’t voice. Instead, she---as she herself expresses in “Raising the Barn”---has independently decided what she should and shouldn’t voice around Lapis. And as Lapis in turn expresses in “Raising the Barn”, she personally views this as Peridot lying to her, and is therefore angry about it.

In other words, what I’m getting at here is this:

Peridot and Lapis are BOTH to blame for what unfolded in “Raising the Barn”, and their communication difficulties stem from BOTH of their character flaws.

Lapis is a very internal person. She is, understandably as a result of her trauma, very focused and wrapped up in her own thoughts, so much so that it is sometimes difficult for her to understand the perspective of others. She also tends to withdraw and flee when she’s upset by something, rather than confronting the problem and working it out in a healthy way. While she is very bluntly honest when she’s pushed to express herself, she also tends to simply remove herself from the situation if at all possible. Additionally, Lapis tends to assume that others will be honest with how they feel. The idea that Peridot has kept things from her floors her, because she just assumed that Peridot---perhaps particularly given how vocal Peridot seems to be about everything---would be honest and upfront with her if there were any problems. Her tendency to withdraw into herself (and flee from situations), coupled with her assumption that Peridot would be honest, led to Lapis flat out not realizing that Peridot was keeping anything from her.

Peridot, however, is very self-assured when it comes to the things she believes she knows, sometimes to the point of arrogance. Peridot assumes that it’s a big no-no to talk about Jasper, even though Lapis’ reaction to this revelation in “Beta” shows that it’s not nearly the massive, world-ending trigger that Peridot seems to regard it as. Peridot decides, independently, that she knows what Lapis’ triggers are, and that she knows what the best methods are to avoid setting them off. Rather than actually talking to Lapis about this and deciding, mutually, what topics should be avoided (if any) or what should be done in order to make Lapis comfortable, Peridot decided all of that on her own and then acted accordingly. While her heart was undoubtedly in the right place (mostly---her desire to keep Lapis there does stem from a form of selfishness no different than Lapis’ focus on her own feelings is a form of selfishness), the fact remains that Peridot made these decisions based on what she thought was best, rather than on what Lapis wanted. She chose to lie to and keep information from Lapis because she felt that it was what was best for Lapis, without ever once asking Lapis if that was the case. This led to her . . . well, lying to Lapis and keeping information from her, and therefore never giving Lapis the opportunity to explain how she felt or what she thought.

Both of these things culminated in the absolute mess that we saw unfold in “Raising the Barn”. Because Lapis is a very internal person who tends to both withdraw from difficult situations and also has difficulty seeing things from others’ perspectives, she never realized that Peridot was keeping things from her, and thus was left feeling very defensive, shocked, dismayed, and ultimately angry. Because Peridot chose to keep things from Lapis “for Lapis’ own good” without consulting her, she was left scrambling to try to explain her own feelings and thoughts when it was far too late to do so, and was also left with the ramifications of having lied to the person closest to her. Even though her intentions were good, a lie is still a lie, after all. Peridot meant well, but that doesn’t change how hurt and upset Lapis felt when she learned that one of the people she trusted most has been lying to her for the entire duration of the time they’ve spent together.

Lapis made mistakes in this relationship, absolutely. She has not learned proper coping techniques to deal with her trauma, and she is not good at expressing herself or dealing with conflict in a healthy way. However, Peridot has made just as many mistakes. She, as a result of her own confidence that she knows best, lied to Lapis and kept things that were about her from her for months, if not a year or more. (It’s hard to tell how much time has passed.) Lapis has every right to feel angry and upset by that. I think anyone would feel hurt and angry after learning that their roommate / best friend / partner / girlfriend has been lying to them for such a long time. Even if the intentions are good, lies are still lies, and Peridot should have been more honest, just as Lapis should have tried expressing herself in healthier ways rather than repressing, exploding, and fleeing. Peridot is just as guilty of what happened as Lapis is.

So while Lapis was wrong to take the barn with her (it was an overreaction), ultimately, the fight they had was a result of miscommunication on the parts of both parties. Lapis has not completely dominated Peridot; it’s clear from her reaction that the idea that Peridot has been bottling so many things and not expressing her feelings was breaking news to Lapis, and news that she was not at all happy to hear. It’s very clear that Lapis would have vastly preferred Peridot to be honest with her from the beginning. The idea that Peridot is an innocent victim who did no wrong is an idea that stems from character bias, and it isn’t fair to either of them. Peridot is just as flawed as Lapis is, and both of them owe each other apologies when they reunite. It’s the only way this mess will get sorted out at last.

#steven universe #steven universe spoilers #su spoilers #meta #lapidot #peridot #lapis lazuli

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pretend-im-not-there · 7 years

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A Zircons Dream

I wanted to work on my original fic idea, but this popped into my head instead. The idea originally started with the simple idea “Peridot runs away from Home(world)” and grew from there. Also pulled the ending from this idea and picture.

Loosely based on AU’s from @drawbauchery. I crossed so many streams here.

Rating: uhhh... K+? T? Somewhere in there.

Wordcount: 1,875

You are Blue Zircon, and you are pacing. You reach one end of your domicile and turn to walk to the first side again. Your eyes flick over to the timepiece on the wall for what seems the millionth time. It's only passed five seconds since the last time you looked at it.

Your little jewel never stayed out this late. You didn't want to believe it, but maybe the rumors were true. Maybe Peridot was friends with some bad gems.

You shake the idea from your head. Your sweet little fiver would never hang around some delinquent gems. She knows better than that. She was just… working late.

Your heart settles down as the entrance opens. You pop out into the entrance hall to see your Peridot wiping her limb enhancers off. She was also wearing an odd piece of clothing that you don't remember her shifting into before. A strange thing covering the top half of her body and arms.

You run to her and hug her to you. “Oh, sweetie, I was so worried! Where were you? Why were you out so late?”

It was then you realized that the two of you weren't alone in the entrance. Standing on the other side of the entrance portal was a very familiar Lapis Lazuli.

“What is she doing here?” The words practically hiss through clenched teeth. You had dealt with this Lapis before and knew that she wasn't good enough for your precious shining gem.

Peridot squirms out of your embrace and fixes you with a frown. “I already told you. I’m going out with Lapis.”

“And I told you that I don't want her near our domicile. I don't want her corrupting influence anywhere near my shining jewel.” You try to hug her again, but she moves away from you. Odd.

Her frown stays on her features as she says, “She’s not corrupting me! I’m having fun!”

The Lapis at least has the decency to look a little ashamed of herself. She rubs the back of her head as she says, “Maybe I should come back-”

“NO,” Peridot shouts out as she places her hands on her hips.

You shake your finger at her. “5xg, what have I told you about interrupting gems.”

A couple adjuster pins wrap themselves around your finger. You look at Peridot and see she is sneering at you. “You are not my Diamond, Zircon. I am a grown, fully functional Kindergartener, and I don’t have to listen to anything you say.”

You frown and pull your finger away from the pins. “You are living in my quarters, young gem. I make the rules here.”

“Than maybe I’ll just leave!”

The shouted words stop you in your tracks. Your little gem, leave? You wouldn’t even be able to bear it. “Wh-wh-wh…” You swallow your words and try to start again but she’s already talking.

“If you don’t want the gem I love to be here, then I’ll just leave here too.” She turns around to face the Lapis as tears start to build up in your eyes. “C’mon, Lapis. Let’s go.”

You try to reach out to stop her, but your arm feels like lead. When it finally does move, it feels like Peridot is miles away rather than right in front of you.

“Where are we going?”

You lift your foot to try and race out the door in front of them, but the hallway extends before you. You try to run to catch up to their backs, but they’re already outside the entrance portal.

“We’re running away from Homeworld.”

You only just reach the portal when you hear an odd rumbling noise. You look out the portal to see your precious gem flying off on the back of some strange wheeled device. You can’t even see the pointed tip of her hair underneath the head protector she had on.

Your shining light was gone.

---

You jolt awake, your gem pulsing light against the shadowy desk and planks in front of you. Looking around, you recognize the barn that you’ve been staying in and try to calm yourself. You are safe, and Peridot didn’t run away from you.

Still, that was a weird experience. It must have been what Peridot and Lapis called a dream. If so, you never want to have one again. It was kind of different from what they described it as. Though you think you know what the culprit of that is.

You look down at the computer that “Steven” had given to you. On it was a browser opened to a video site asking if you were still watching. You click “no” on it and it brings up the title page for the family drama you were watching through the night. Never again if things like that happen.

You set the computer aside as you pick up the mug sitting nearby. It was filled with another thing the Quartz had introduced to you called “Coffee”. They could call it dirt as far as you were concerned, but it was the most wonderful liquid in existence to you right now. With a little additives for the flavor.

You sip at the coffee as you lean against the desk that the gems here decided to make for you. You guess that it was a pretty good thing that “Steven” grabbed your gem before he left Homeworld, though you’ll probably never get used to calling Rose Quartz that. He brought you to your Peridot, after all. Everything else is just a great bonus.

Speaking of, you look towards the barn door as you hear your name being called out by Peridot. Every time it’s repeated it seems to be coming closer, so you decide to wait for her. After all, you’re sure that whatever she has can wait till she reaches you. When she comes into view, you smile and wave as she runs towards you.

Once she’s finally inside the barn, she smiles up at you and you swear you’re blind now. Her smile has blinded you. “Zircon! I finally found one!”

You give a little smile as you ask her, “Found one what?” She smiles excitedly as she holds up a-

“What is that?”

She sets it down on it’s four legs on your desk before answering, “Humans call it a cat. It’s a small animal that lives in boxes and makes strange noises. I’ve seen them on the net.”

You keep a careful eye on the… cat, as it walks across your desk. It doesn’t seem to do much, so you must have to activate it somehow. Reaching out, you gently poke it with a finger and are surprised by how soft it feels. Still, poking it doesn’t seem to do anything to it. It must be defective. You refuse to crush your shining jewels heart, though.

You smile at Peridot before saying “Thank you Peridot. It’s a lovely thing for you to show to me, but I don’t think I’m ready for a… “cat” just yet. Maybe you should show it to Lapis.”

She pops off an “Okay” before grabbing the creature and running off to find her barnmate. At the moment, she is technically your barnmate too, but you are looking for some other space to live. You don’t want to get in the way of your precious stars life here, after all.

You turn back to a bit of work you were taking care of on the computer. It isn’t long, though, before your work is interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching behind you.

“Fiver, I thought you were looking for La-” Your words stop short as you turn to see who was approaching you.

Standing there was not Peridot but, rather, the Amethyst that lived with Steven. 8xm, you believe, though she is just called Amethyst. “Oh, Amethyst. I thought you were Peridot.”

She seems to sweat a little once you’ve mentioned Peridot. All she says, though, is, “Oh, no problem. It happens.”

The conversation seems to lapse a bit as you both look at each other. She seems to be having a difficult time, though, as sweat seems to pour off of her. Hoping to help her along, you ask, “Is there something you needed?”

Her eyes seem to pop before she draws back a bit. “Oh, uh, it’s nothing much… It’s just…” You wait patiently as she seems to fumble for the right words. If there’s one thing being around Peridot has taught you, it’s that patience can get you a lot with some gems.

Finally, she sighs before looking you right in the eyes.

“You’re kinda hot, Zircon. Do you wanna make out?”

---

“And that’s what I remember about my dream last night.” You watch the shorter girl in the green tank-top sitting across from you as she looks over her textbook. She may look like she’s not listening, but you know better. “What do you think it means?”

She snaps her book closed, obviously done with whatever she was looking over, before answering, “It means that you’re afraid of commitment, Bella.”

You look at her, your eyes half lidded and a frown on your face. “I wish. Then I wouldn’t have been so set on a major in Law. But seriously, Priscilla.”

She shrugs, “If you wanted serious, you probably shouldn’t be asking someone in a technical major. Psych is across the campus from us.”

She picks up her book from the table as you both stand up and head to your dorm rooms. The two of you had become fast friends since you were assigned rooms right next to each other, though you more often look after her than the other way around. Still, you both liked watching over each other.

Before you could enter your room, Priscilla called out, “By the way…” You turn to look at her, giving your full attention. “I’m probably gonna be out for the night. Amy called me up and wanted to hit the McDonalds and get sick off their food.”

You shake your head. You’re pretty sure they wouldn’t get sick, but this is Amy you’re talking about. “I’m not gonna be the one who buys you medicine for your aching stomach.”

Lies. You would happily make a medicine run if she was in any pain. You would probably have it before she even called you.

She rolls her eyes. “Pfft, as if I’d need it.” You both giggle as your doors open for you. “I’ll call you when I get back, mom.”

You both stop in your tracks as you process what was just said. The word practically hangs in the air as you turn your head to look at her.

Did she just…?

She blushes as she stammers. “Th-That was just an accident!”

Your grin practically breaks your face. You almost tackle her as you pull her into a hug. “That was so cute!”

She squirms as she tries to push you away, but you have her beat in strength here. You practically swing her around as you gush over her calling you mom.”Oh my sweet little Prissy! Don’t you worry, momma’s gonna make it all better.”

She practically shouts over your laughter. “It was an accident! It was all a joke!”

#Blue Zircon #Peridot #Amethyst #Lapis Lazuli #Mom Zircon AU #Heat AU #Biker Lapis AU #Human AU #College AU #Fast food AU #Fanfiction #steven universe #SU #SU fanfiction #@drawbauchery

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auratusuniverse · 8 years

Text

Incredible Chapter 16

(I’ve not been feeling well, drawing wise, and then today has been a terrible day health wise so I just decided to post this sans any promo art. If I can get myself to draw, maybe I’ll do a picture for this chapter later.)

Some help comes for Steven. Perhaps there will finally be some answers.

Archive of Our Own link

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16 below the read more

Steven looked up with bleary eyes and saw her.

He thought he must be dying until he saw the gem in her throat.

No … It’s not Mom …

“Go on. You know the song. Now sing it,” Jasper growled.

“Why do you want me to save the one who shattered our Diamond?” The Rose Quartz snapped back.

“He didn’t shatter her. He … he saved my life and I owe him this much,” Jasper said, looking at Steven.

If he had been more cognizant of what was happening, Steven would have been touched.

The pain was too much however, and it took all of his energy not to cry out. He watched as the Rose Quartz knelt in front of him.

She looked nothing like his mom now. Her gaze was steely and cold and she seemed indifferent to him, if anything.

That all changed when she reached out to touch him and gasped.

“He’s human?” She said, horrified.

“Half,” Jasper started. “And this might kill him if you don’t help him.”

Steven looked at Jasper. She knew from seeing Connie that this wouldn’t kill him. This was a ploy to get the Rose Quartz to help.

And it was working.

Steven expected to feel tears drip onto his gem.

He did not expect to hear the song he had heard while he slept.

As the Rose Quartz sang in ancient Gem, the pain began to melt away. Steven could feel the spikes and horns start to retreat back into his body. The shaggy fur melted away and his vision cleared as he stared at the Rose Quartz. His thoughts became more coherent and he no longer could feel his mind ripping and tearing apart.

She was healing the corruption. She was doing something not even his mother could do.

When she finished singing, Steven felt as if he had become completely reformed. He didn’t even feel the residual pain from his body stretching and changing. He was back to his normal self.

“How did you get corrupted, human?” The Rose Quartz finally asked.

“I fused with my friend,” he started, showing the Rose Quartz the gem shard that he still held in his hand. “She’s a hybrid too … though not naturally, like I was …”

The Rose Quartz looked puzzled and then horrified.

“The experiment …” She gasped. “It actually worked …”

Jasper looked at the Rose Quartz.

“So you knew about it.”

“Every Rose Quartz did. We were in charge of it. We had to be able to heal the human subjects. But then Rose Quartz 1F5A Cut 1QR defected. The operation was shut down. And then she shattered our Diamond and we were all recalled,” she growled, anger bubbling at the surface.

Steven was surprised he didn’t feel the pain he had felt when he first heard the truth about his mother. This was a new, duller pain.

He had been lied to. Again.

“I was kept around the longest. I needed to be available for a different experiment. For a weapon. I proved myself to be faithful and healed all of their test subjects. But I was a Rose Quartz. When my purpose was fulfilled, I was recalled.”

Steven looked down at Connie’s gem. He wondered if the song had worked for her.

Then he remembered Peridot.

“Oh no! I had fused with Peridot too! She might get corrupted-”

“Easy, easy,” Jasper started, kneeling next to Steven. “We were a little delayed because I needed her to sing to Peridot as well. Just as a precaution,” Jasper added, noting Steven’s visible distress.

Steven calmed. Then he returned his gaze to Connie’s gem.

“Does the song work if a gem is still poofed?”

“No. They need to be able to hear it,” the Rose Quartz started. “Is that your friend?”

“Yeah …” Steven whispered. “I didn’t want this to happen to her …”

The Rose Quartz paused for a moment. She knew that she would not be able to stay long enough to wait for this other hybrid to reform. She could not stay around the gems who destroyed her Diamond for that long. She wouldn’t be able to handle it. She also knew that if the hybrid reformed, she would still be in a state of corruption. She would be at risk for the rest of her life of completely reverting.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the fountain. She needed to still do what she was made for. She wasn’t even sure if this would work, but it was worth a try.

“I can try to teach you the song,” she started. “You’re a Rose Quartz. You can heal this too. You just need to learn how. Had you been trying to heal her before?”

“Yes. But it only sort of worked,” Steven started.

“Alright. I’ll stay long enough to teach you the song,” the Rose Quartz sighed.

Peridot waited by the warp pad. She wasn’t sure if or when Lapis was coming back, but at the moment, she didn’t really care.

She had been happy to see Jasper, but when she saw the Rose Quartz who immediately sat in front of her and started singing, she felt a little unnerved. Other than Steven, she had never met a Rose Quartz before and this one was much less warm towards her. She hoped Jasper would explain soon why the Rose Quartz did that, but she knew she would have to wait until after Steven was healed.

The glow of the warp pad heralded their return. She watched with bated breath as the gems appeared on the warp pad.

She felt relief wash over her when she saw Steven.

“Oh my stars, I am so glad you’re ok!” Peridot started, running to Steven.

Steven smiled uneasily as he looked down at Connie’s gem again.

“We’re going to get her back,” Steven said, mostly for himself.

Peridot smiled. She would have Steven back as well and she could finally, properly, meet Connie as herself. She looked over to Jasper who avoided looking at anyone. Then she remembered.

Lapis.

There was still the unresolved thread there. Lapis still didn’t trust Jasper. She probably didn’t even trust her (especially after she defended Jasper). A part of her wanted Lapis to forgive her and Jasper. They were both technically Crystal Gems as well (even if neither Lapis or Jasper would be caught shattered referring to themselves as such).

She sighed and walked over to Jasper, hoping to at least figure out what had her upset currently.

She would deal with Lapis later.

Steven sat on the shore as he fumbled over the words to the song once more. His tongue struggled to pronounce the words and his voice cracked on some of the notes. It was hopeless.

No. You need to do this for Connie, he thought.

He continued to struggle with the song, hoping that the Rose Quartz would just give up and decide to stay long enough to cure Connie for him.

He worried that he wouldn’t be able to heal her anyway.

As if she had been summoned by his thoughts, Steven felt the presence of the Rose Quartz next to him.

“You’re getting closer. Keep practicing.”

Steven nodded and looked down at Connie’s gem before looking back up at the Quartz. She was really nothing like his mom at all. Not from the pictures he had seen or the stories he had been told, at least.

“Did you know her?” Steven finally asked.

The Rose Quartz sighed.

“She emerged at the same time as I did. We all emerged at the same time … She was nothing special. Just a regular Rose Quartz medic. Her tears were the source of her healing power, much like some of the other Rose Quartz. I didn’t see her much until she … I still don’t understand why she would do it. She was our Diamond! How could she have broken her? Didn’t she realize what it meant for the rest of us?”

“For the other Rose Quartzes?”

“No … for every Earth created gem. This was her planet. We were under her rule. When she was broken, there was talk about her gems being split between the Diamonds. There was talk of us all being repurposed. There was talk of us all being broken. Blue Diamond saved my entire gem type but for what? To be placed in a bubble indefinitely?”

“You don’t have to go back,” Steven started.

“I do. Blue Diamond might notice and even if she doesn’t … My Diamond was shattered here, Steven. The being behind my entire purpose was lost here. We even tried to repair her gem but the damage was irreparable. It is too difficult to stay on Earth. I wish I could just dissipate my form. You can’t even comprehend …”

Steven gently placed his hand on hers.

“I … I know. It’s hard. It’s hard to lose someone who was … who was everything to you. But you can’t just give up. I mean, I never knew my mom and I kind of feel like the gems blame me for her …” Steven furiously wiped a tear away. “But I also know that they love me anyway. They are always there for me. And we could be that for you as well.”

The Rose Quartz smiled sadly.

“Let’s keep working on that song.”

Steven nodded and cleared his throat.

He could try to save the Rose Quartz later.

Jasper sat on the floor of Steven’s Bathroom, still curled up in a ball. She had done what needed to be done for Steven, but seeing the Rose Quartz continued to bring memories back to the orange gem. Yes, this wasn’t the same traitorous Rose Quartz, but that didn’t make it any easier.

The door creaked open and Jasper looked up to see Peridot approaching. She felt her lips curl up into a genuine smile.

“How’re you doing?” Peridot asked as she sat down in front of Jasper who sat up with her legs crossed.

“Better. It’s just hard. She looks enough like her that …”

“Yeah …”

Silence stretched between the pair. Peridot cleared her throat.

“It makes sense now … why you never liked my Diamond,” Peridot started. “I didn’t know …”

“It’s alright. You know that they don’t like talking about it on Homeworld-”

“But it isn’t alright!” Peridot shrieked. “You’ve been hurting and we didn’t know! I thought you just wanted to fight because you were a Quartz! I had no idea that your Diamond …”

She let the words hang in the air between them. The pair sat in silence for a few moments before Jasper finally set her hand on Peridot’s.

“It’s in the past. I can’t live in it anymore …”

Peridot nodded as Jasper pulled her into a tight embrace. She thought she could feel tears hitting her forehead, but the green gem would never bring it up to Jasper.

When Priyanka first saw the Rose Quartz, she felt her heart sink a little. She looked enough like the pictures she had seen of Rose that she almost wondered if Pearl had moved on.

When she saw Pearl inside the house, sitting on the couch with a nervous expression, she worried that her fears were confirmed.

“So … I saw Rose outside …”

“That’s not the same one, thankfully,” Pearl started. “Jasper brought her to earth. She saved Steven but … I don’t know,” Pearl drifted off, a tear rolling down her cheek. Priyanka sat down next to her. “She’s so different. She’s just like all the others … And she’s been alone with Steven and …”

Priyanka gently wrapped Pearl into a hug as the gem sobbed into her shoulder.

“Everything that I hated about Homeworld, I can see it in her eyes,” Pearl whimpered.

Priyanka didn’t even know what to say. A part of her was relieved but most of her ached to see Pearl so upset. She gently stroked Pearl’s hair.

“I’m sorry,” Pearl started. “I should have told you before you came but … Everything’s just been happening so fast. And she’s not leaving yet because she might be able to save Connie but … What then? What do we do with her after that?”

Priyanka watched as Pearl’s gaze drifted down to her feet. She didn’t know the answer either, but she felt as if she needed to say something. She needed to comfort her somehow.

“I’m not even sure,” Priyanka finally said. “Perhaps, if she stays long enough to help Steven and Connie, then she’ll find something about Earth that she cares about. Something that won’t remind her of Homeworld.”

“Her Diamond was shattered here,” Pearl started. “By us. We killed her. And I worry that she’ll blame Steven and hurt him …”

Priyanka couldn’t even begin to understand.

But she could be there for her.

Steven rehearsed the song again, the words coming to him easier as he sang to Connie’s gem. He could almost hit all of the notes in it, the melody coming to him almost instinctually now. He stopped singing for a moment and looked outside, seeing the Rose Quartz stare out at the ocean from his window.

He wanted her to stay. She had so many answers to questions that had burrowed into his brain. He wanted her to understand that the Earth was wonderful, even if his mother had …

How could they hide this from him? He couldn’t understand it. This was something that was a part of his mother’s legacy and the gems never told him.

Focus on the song, Steven, he thought. Do it for her ...

When he looked out the window again, he was surprised to see Garnet standing with her now. He watched as the pair spoke for a moment before Garnet turned to come back to the Temple. A part of him wanted to ask what they had been talking about.

A part of him knew that there would be no answer.

He continued to practice his song until he felt Garnet sit down on the foot of his bed. He looked up and saw her holding a bubbled Gem in her hands.

“She will stay until she sees that you can successfully heal a gem. Connie isn’t going to reform for a while longer, but there is someone else who you can practice your song on.”

Steven watched as Garnet popped the bubble. He watched in shock as the the familiar green gem landed on the bed before it began to glow.

As she took her monstrous form, he knew what he had to do.

#connverse #conniverse #corrupted!connie #corrupted steven #jaspidot #pearlyanka #steven universe fanfic #su fanfic #angst

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mage-cat · 8 years

Text

Unbubbled, Chapter 2

This chapter would have been a lot easier to write if I didn’t think making it very clear some of the things Bismuth does and does not know going forward was so important. It also would have been easier if it didn’t feel like the world was falling down around our ears just now, too. Anyone who’s read any of my Steven Universe fic will be utterly unsurprised that there’s Amedot in my Bispearl story. I hope you enjoy them as an established couple

Chapter under the cut.

Chapter 1 here.

AO3 link here.

After a while, Garnet declared that she and Pearl had to leave on a mission, the remaining Crystal Gems staying behind at the temple. Amethyst said she was going for a walk, Peridot quickly stated an insistence on joining her, and Steven and Bismuth were invited along. Steven quickly agreed and went to grab his ukulele while Bismuth stared at the congealing brown ring at the bottom of her mug until Amethyst waved a hand through her field of vision.

“Come on,” she cajoled. “We can fill you in more on how things work around here now, and you can pay us back with stories about what Garnet and Pearl were like before they started trying to be good examples.”

“I'm not sure this is a day for telling war stories.” Bismuth's smile was returning, if looking a little tired.

“So no fighting stories. I know it wasn't all battles all the time.”

“We'll see what I come up with while we're walking.”

Peridot spoke up as they walked down the stairs. “I may need to apologize for a part in why you weren't unbubbled sooner.”

“Why's that?”

“Garnet was waiting for me to reform, under the understanding that you were unlikely to trust what I had to say while I was still wearing my old Diamond emblems. She didn't actually tell me that until afterward, but even if she had, it is unlikely that I would have volunteered to have my form forcibly dismissed to hurry the process along.”

“Well, I can't really argue with Future Vision, and I've seen what it takes to get a Peridot to poof. I wouldn't want to put myself through that either. Why did you switch sides anyway? I always love hearing those stories.”

Reaching the foot of the stairs, Steven steered the group in the opposite direction from where Biggs had momentarily been that morning.

“The Crystal Gems' attempts to thwart my original mission, while not being sure what that mission was, succeeded in leaving me stranded on this planet with no means of escape or communication while knowing that the whole place was a time bomb about to go off. By the time of my capture, I was desperate enough to work with them. There were many things I was willing to do for Yellow Diamond back then, but dying was not one of them.” Bismuth's smile was looking less tired now, turning into an approving smirk as Peridot continued. She had seen plenty of Gems who did not draw the line at dying for their Diamond.

“Around the time we completed the drill to reach the Cluster, I managed to acquire a Direct Diamond Line. I thought that, if I presented Yellow Diamond with some theories I had developed about how to extract resources from this planet without harming the biosphere, she would spare Earth.” A pained look crossed her face. “She wouldn't. She said she wanted the planet gone, that she didn't care about resources or potential. She's supposed to care. What's the point of a Diamond that doesn't care about the well-being of the Empire or the Gems created to serve her?” Peridot shrugged. “So I called her a clod, cut the connection, and she remote detonated the communicator. I am most definitely not welcome back even if I wanted to go, which I don't.” She held her hand up to her face, almost as if inspecting it. “I'm done with being lied to.”

“You called Yellow Diamond a clod? To her face?” Bismuth barked out a laugh. “I wish I could have seen that!”

“It was pretty impressive,” Amethyst said as she nudged Peridot's shoulder with her own. “Even if she did curl up into a ball right after and stay that way for a few hours.”

“So what's your story Deep Cut?”

It was Amethyst's turn to shrug. “There's not much of one. I was the last Gem to come out of the Prime Kindergarten. Five hundred years after everyone else with the war already over. That's why, you know...” Amethyst pressed the flat of her hand against the top of her head, emphasizing her lack her height. “Which I gotta say beats my alternatives. Still, it was just me and a bunch of lifeless rocks for who knows how long until Rose found me. I guess you could say I've been a Crystal Gem as long as I've been anything.”

“Now that is amazing. I always wondered what a Gem would be like who never heard all that upper crust nonsense about her proper place. You fight pretty good for someone who wasn't in the war. Who trained you? Ruby?”

Amethyst laughed. “Good one! Like Garnet was going to unfuse often enough for her to train me. I got some training from Rose. More from Pearl until we both got fed up with each other over it. Mostly I work from instinct. That's enough to get by when it comes to monsters at least. Now that we're looking at facing down soldiers again, sparing with this guy is really helping.” She jerked a thumb towards Steven, who added, “Pearl's done pretty much all my training, but fighting with Amethyst is fun!”

“But, ya know, as far as what a Gem's like without Homeworld influence, it mostly just means I ended up with different damage.”

Peridot linked one arm around Amethyst's, leaning into her. “Well I think you came out great. Especially for a first test case. The problems stem more from the neuroses of the Gems raising you then anything else.”

“Thanks, Per-bear, but you're biased.”

“I would not have formed my bias in the first place if I had not first logically concluded that you were an extraordinary individual.”

That got a small laugh. “You are such a nerd.”

“Yes, but that's what you love about me.”

“True,” Amethyst said as she leaned over to blow a raspberry into Peridot's cheek. After a moment of giggling they remembered that they had an audience, and Amethyst looked over saying, “Okay. Show's over.”

“Oh,” Steven said, “are we going to be seeing Fluorite soon?”

Peridot and Amethyst glanced at each other before Peridot answered, “Not today.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst added, “there's filling Bismuth in, and then there's introducing her to walking information overload.”

“Once Fluorite starts talking it's hard for her to stop,” Peridot explained to Bismuth.

“And she'll say whatever she's thinking, which could be, like, everything,” added Amethyst.

“She's like the Anti-Garnet!” Steven exclaimed. “Wait, that makes her sound evil.” He looked like he was trying to think of a better way to phrase it. Peridot broke his train of thought, saying it really was accurate enough.

“So, Peridot,” Bismuth said, “outside from fusion, have you been learning to fight, or are you sticking with a support role? There's always stuff to build, but what's the point of rebelling if you just keep doing the things you did before?”

“Mostly I've been working on getting my metal powers under proper control. With them I can occupy a ranged attack role that the team has been lacking up until this point.”

“Wait,” Bismuth stopped short to look at Peridot more carefully. “Getting them under control? How had you been working without having done that already? You can't be that new if they were sending you out on solo missions.”

Peridot scrambled up a nearby rock and sat on it. “It's an Era 2 thing. The story is that Homeworld is experiencing a resource shortage and Gems cannot be produced to the old standards, mostly characterized by lack of powers. For Peridots, this is counterbalanced with technology that is worn at all times. Arm Enhancers come equipped with tractor beams, which fill in for the missing metal control and then some, along with database access. I even configured mine to have a blaster function. I was a pretty fair shot.”

Amethyst chimed in, “Then there was the electrical feedback you shocked me with that time.”

“And a few other functions that led to the Enhancers being clunky enough that, to prevent them from dragging the ground, Leg Extenders were also required. After I was captured and they were…” she seemed to side-eye Amethyst, “discarded, it took me some time to even adjust to being this size. It didn't help that my mass was still distributed in anticipation of carrying the weight of the Enhancers. I overbalanced a lot. I really hope I'm going to fall on my face much less now.” At a gesture from the green Gem, a discarded soda can floated up to her shoulder height and began to move in lazy figure eights.

“Anyway,” she continued, “if what I had been told was completely true, I wouldn't be able to do this at all.” The can flew in a quick series of loops before coming to a still-floating halt. “I'm sure there really is some resource shortage, losing this colony did hurt Homeworld, but, as to how much it actually affected my potential...” She shrugged, the can raising and falling an inch or so with the motion. “If I ever figure out shape-shifting or weapon summoning, I won't be as shocked as I was the first time I moved metal.”

Bismuth looked slightly stunned, “I think that might actually be more twisted than the whole Corruption thing. I mean, how long have they been keeping that up?”

“Longer than I've been around. Which means more than 3000 years. And don't forget I was a Kindergartener. Lying to me means that they are mucking with the technical manuals regarding Gem formation. The more you think about it, the worse it gets.”

Bismuth looked down to where Steven and Amethyst were standing. “Remind me why shattering the Diamonds is a bad idea again.”

“Because desperate Diamonds are more dangerous than we can handle,” Amethyst answered.

“And it would be wrong,” added Steven.

The smith gave a half-nod of assent before turning back to Peridot. “Anyway, if you're sticking to that training regimen, could I make you some better ammunition? What have you been using?”

“I would actually appreciate that. This planet has plenty of scrap metal I can use, but I know there would be benefits to something more uniform. My skill with raw materials lags well behind my engineering abilities.”

Amethyst climbed up the rock to sit next to her. “I'm glad to have you watching my back, and to know that if we need an attack with more range that my whip and more punch than Pearl's laser blasts, we don't have to rely on Opal.” She rolled her eyes toward Bismuth. “Miss Pearl-fect and I don't always get along well enough to fuse, even if an archer would help.”

“I guess with so few of us, fusion is a more important tactic than ever, huh?”

“I guess. I don't really know how important it was during the war so I can't compare. You ever fuse with Pearl or Garnet?”

“I... uh,” Bismuth's mind stumbled over the memory. “Yeah, a couple of times. With Pearl. Never quite worked out with Garnet.”

Steven had pulled up a seat on one of the smaller rocks and begun tuning his ukulele. Bismuth took the hint and settled in, using Peridot and Amethyst's perch as a backrest. They passed a few hours that way, swapping stories. Peridot related the epic tale of scavenging materials for some attack drones she had made. Bismuth talked about how hard Pearl had been on her swords before Bismuth had perfected the design for them. Amethyst described her involvement in the local wrestling league, and the fight she and Steven had had with Garnet and Pearl over allowing her to continue. Bismuth learned a round that Steven had written and Amethyst and Peridot already knew. In the end, the three younger Crystal Gems did more of the talking than Bismuth did. She was more than willing to tell stories about Garnet and Pearl, but too many stories included the shattered and the corrupted. On another day, she might be able to tell those, but the pain was still too fresh.

The sun was just starting to tint the western sky a faint orange when Peridot said she would have to leave soon. “I told Lapis I would be back before dark. She's more stable than she used to be, but I still don't like leaving her alone for too long.”

“Lapis Lazuli?” The name conjured up some less pleasant memories, but mostly Bismuth wondered why they hadn't mentioned another Gem around. After all, what were the odds that they were talking about the same Lapis she was thinking of?

“A Homeworld loyalist who was mistaken for a Crystal Gem during the war and put in a mirror for interrogation. She was abandoned and cracked while still in it during the final evacuation,” Peridot explained as she descended from the rock and headed towards the Temple and its warp pad. The rest of the group went with her.

“I got her out and healed her,” Steven chimed in.

“Yeah, but between one and the other, she stole the ocean for a while,” Amethyst said, “because being so cracked your mind is too scrambled to be corrupted means you're willing to try out some really bad ideas.”

“She went back to Homeworld after,” Steven continued, “and sent us a message that Peridot was coming back with reinforcements after her scouting missions where we first saw her. If it wasn't for Lapis, we wouldn't have been ready at all.”

“'Reinforcements' makes it sound much more dire than one ship with me, Jasper as an escort, and Lapis as an unwilling informant. Anyway, that day ended with me on the run and Lapis holding Jasper captive in a fusion. It's rather amazing how long it was before Malachite split, longer than I managed to stay one step ahead of the team. That's when things got complicated. Jasper's bubbled now. I'm working on getting Lapis to convert. She's warmed up to me and would do just about anything for Steven, but she's civil at best to Pearl and Garnet.”

Amethyst said, “And she doesn't seem to mind me hanging around the barn. Of course, it probably helps that I usually bring books and interesting junk for her and Peri to use for art projects.”

“You've been doing art?” Bismuth asked Peridot, honestly curious.

“Apparently the exact human term for it is 'conceptual sculpture.' I still like the word Lapis came on for it, 'meep-morp.' Anyway, once the drill project had fulfilled its purpose, I found making things without concern for utility very freeing. Also, I find that creative endeavors aid in emotional processing, and everything I've found out since coming to Earth has given me a lot to process. Oh, do you want these,” she said referring to the now four cans she had floating beside her. “They're aluminum, very pure aside from the added pigment.”

“Humans figured out aluminum extraction? I'm impressed. That's tricky work on this planet.” Bismuth considered the offer. “You keep them for now. I'm going to do an inventory at the Forge.”

Once Peridot had used the warp pad to reach a point nearer her destination, Bismuth moved to do the same. Amethyst asked, “Are you really gonna leave right now?”

“Yeah, Pearl and Garnet aren't even back yet,” said Steven.

“Unless you need me for something. I've got an inventory to do and things to think about.” She stepped onto the pad. “You all know where to find me.”

Chapter 3 >

#cat writes #steven universe #fanfiction #amedot #bispearl

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