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bakugoushotwife · 7 months

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kinktober day twelve: threesome kink

>>> brain go brrrr! i can only write a stsg threesome i swear it's bad these days. i just love this dynamic so bad and am clinically addicted omfg i hope u all love it as bad as i do--it is officially the longest piece thus far

>>> starring: satoru gojo x curvy!fem!reader x suguru geto >>> cw: mfm threesome, m/m interaction, fingering (f! receiving), oral (f! receiving), spitroasting, reverse cowgirl, double penetration (same hole), overstimulation, hard dom!geto, pleasure dom!gojo, switch gojo, switch reader, squirting, creampie(s). >>> wc: 5.3k >>> event masterlist

he’s not sure when things changed. he’d always seen you in one light, he thought: his friend, his teammate, and a powerful sorceress that made the group a triple threat. you were easy to get along with and impressive to work alongside. you were also funny and had the same taste in music as him, which was a method of bonding during your early years of school. and sure, you were also insanely beautiful, but it was inappropriate for him to have a crush on his classmate. besides, yaga says it’s best not to intermingle with other sorcerers anyways. it would only complicate things, especially as you grow to be closer friends. so geto dated around to distance himself beyond missions and tried to to forget the butterflies your smile gave him for the sake of your group. with his luck, you were probably into satoru anyway.

he’s always been in love with you, he thinks, but enjoyed playing hard to get. unlike suguru, he didn’t shy away from spending time with you. he loved to follow you around campus with his arm hooked around your waist, all big grins and pick up lines that made you roll your eyes every time. he was able to play it off on his nature, claiming that annoying you was worth every extra second of his time. he was all too fond of your amazing skill and intellect, your immense beauty and body for days was only an added benefit. gojo made it a point to train with you exclusively, something that brought the two of you closer and allowed you to see the serious side of one of your best friends. he could never bring himself to make a real move. with his luck, you were probably into suguru anyway—like everyone else.

this delicate balance continued through the rest of your years at jujutsu tech and into your young adult years. the strongest, the curse-eater, and the girl that captured both of their hearts–and connected theirs to each other. gojo was able to satiate himself on his little touches and glimpses of your flustered smiles, shamelessly jerking off at night to the daydreams he has of his precious little girl best friend bouncing on his cock and moaning his name. geto tries to delude himself into feeling like a protective older brother, making it his job to monitor your safety and suitors. but no matter how much he tries, his hand still finds his cock in the comfort of his own bed in the middle of the night, shamefully pleasuring himself to the idea of having your body rocking beneath him and his hand around your neck.

everything gets worse—or better, depending on who you ask— when you all move in together. it was gojo’s idea, claiming his home was too big for just one singular man. so of course he would invite you to come live with him, he hoped to make you woman of the house at some point in the future anyway, so why not now? he extends the same invitation to his other best friend, only because he knows geto would kill him for taking you for himself. the men were close, closer than most friends in multiple ways, so it was no mystery that their shared crush on you eventually became common knowledge. neither of them minded the competition, seemingly convinced he would win your heart on his own before the other could do the same—or in the worst case scenario they would share you! (and whose idea do you think that was?)

but they had to up the ante.

it started small, geto dropped all his flings, even earning a few comments from you about how lonely he must be with his lack of company these days. he always chuckles and give you that suave smile of his, purring out a it’s time i get serious with a wink. he offered to make dinner nightly, making sure the brunt of housework didn’t fall on you since you were already on laundry duty. he always gave you rather selfish relationship advice, making sure you knew how differently he would treat a woman. it wasn’t lost on you, nor were gojo’s efforts.

he encouraged you to take his card and go crazy, often accompanying you on shopping sprees for the house and making sure you leave with an armful of new clothes and whatever else your eyes lingered on too long. satoru showed you his serious side, keeping the house regularly dusted and the floors cleaned, insisting a family should clean up after themselves and not keep servants to make their lives more detached. he invested in your hobbies, letting you try to teach him how to knit, play video games, even trying to do a little book club with you—that unfortunately, suguru was better at, much to his disappointment.

you weren’t dim, you could tell what was happening. you had your suspicions for a while, the two of them practically glued to your sides at all times nowadays—unless one of you was away on a mission, which happened far too often for their liking. you would be lying if you said their attention didn’t make you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, the two were easily the strongest sorcerers the world had to offer if you didn’t take one of those spots for yourself. they were both undeniably gorgeous in their own ways—so how could you possibly choose? your forced obliviousness is the only thing keeping you three firmly planted in friendshipville. though, it’s been more than obvious that you haven’t been seeing anyone outside of them, thank god, and you’re getting antsy. you have to apply more pressure, figure out something that would push them over the edge. you had to keep them competing for you since you couldn’t pick one over the other on your own. aha, you’ve got it—it’s low, scheming even, but you’re growing desperate. you’d just have to dust off your best acting skills and sluttiest outfit.

it was late that night. you knew the boys were still awake, able to hear their laughter from your room. with one final and steadying breath, you peeked into the living room. they were sitting together on the couch watching a movie that was forgotten about as soon as you walked in, the soft sound of your door closing behind drawing their attention. you were evil in your cropped tank that made it painfully clear that was the only thing covering your perky tits, and it didn’t stop there. you didn’t bother with shorts, a cute thong cupping your pussy and sitting along those glorious wide hips. they could die–the effect you have is clear immediately. suguru clutches a throw pillow over his lap, hoping to smoothly hide the throbbing erection just looking at you gave him, while satoru only makes his more obvious by spreading his legs—at least geto tried to respect you. their eyes are practically bulging from their heads, suguru’s lip was between his teeth meanwhile satoru’s curls into a smirk.

“you guys are being so loud out here.” you bat your eyes innocently, twirling a lock of your hair around your finger as you let your gaze bounce between them. gojo slides his glasses off, a bit starstruck as he sets them aside and looks over to suguru, needing him to be on the same page.

“sorry princess,” satoru pouts, patting the spot in between him and geto. “since you’re up…why don’t you hang out with us?” you note the greed swimming in those all-seeing eyes. you force some bashfulness.

“oh–dressed like this?” you rotate your hips a little bit to further your point and suguru has to clench his jaw tight to not groan aloud. “i wouldn't wanna make you guys uncomfortable.”

“you won’t.” suguru blurts out, tucking some of his overgrown bangs behind his ear. satoru nods his agreement.

“yeah! you’re our girl, you could never make us uncomfortable.” the white headed one says, cunningly petting the cushion again. you smirk to yourself, giving them a faux-reluctant nod before striding to sit. your ass ripples as you step past suguru, and his dick throbs pathetically. as soon as your back touches the couch, satoru’s arm is around your waist to tug your upper half into a lean; then suguru puts a massive paw over your thigh, kneading and stroking the exposed skin gently. they’re both so close, the heavy feeling of their hands on your skin was intoxicating; you could hardly tell where one stopped and the other one began. their scents were so overbearing, suguru’s spicy cinnamon and bourbon contrasted the honeyed vanilla sweetness of satoru so perfectly it had you drunk and losing sight of your master plan before anything had even really happened. but don’t worry, they’ll take very good care of you. you’ve gotten the ball rolling, which is good enough, right?

they pretend to keep their eyes on the tv, heads forward like they don’t notice what the other was doing. satoru’s hand starts to creep under the hemline of your tank top, sinewy fingers long enough to brush against the underside of your breast. you hum softly at the touch, only encouraging the lean man to do it again. suguru watches patiently, waiting for more of your approval. you burrow deeper in his side, pushing your chest out even further. he could practically giggle with excitement at your eagerness. suguru scoots closer, sliding his arm across your lower back to grab handfuls of your thick ass free to fondle thanks to your slutty panties. your weight falls back to the middle, wanting to give geto more of your attention. he smiles at satoru at the action, taking it as a sign of your affection. the other man rolls his eyes, leaning into your side to nuzzle your cheek.

the black haired man does the same into your neck, their hands kneading and rubbing and stroking your skin. you lean your head back against the couch, throwing your arms around them to encourage them further with a blissed out grin of your own.

“our slutty little roommate came dressed like that for a reason.” satoru snickers, bringing his other hand to cradle your jawline, tossing a wink towards his dark haired counterpart.

you hum, prying your eyes open to look at him with a smirk. “course i did…just like you asked me to move in for a reason and sugu gives me back massages for a reason.” you muse, humming as you walk your fingers down their spines. they look at each other with slight surprise, clearly they thought you were unsuspecting of them all this time. you chuckle softly, trailing your digits down their arms to close around their wrists, moving their massive hands to your chest, a boob each. you smirk at them. “everything that’s about to go down is only because i want it to happen, understand?”

you look at gojo first, reveling in his amused expression. he hadn’t expected you to take over and become the boss, but he wasn’t necessarily opposed either. it was sexy to think that he had fallen for your trap, and not the other way around. he’d happily do anything that you wanted, all he wanted was you. you arch your brow and he nods dumbly, nuzzling into your cheek again to show his devotion. no woman had tamed him before, but it wouldn’t be so bad to start now, especially not when the woman in question is his very sexy best friend. you give him a soft smile of approval before turning to the real work, geto.

many women had tried and failed to tame him, and he thought it was pretty funny each and every time. but now here you are, his gorgeous lady best friend, prepared to tell him what to do and exactly how to do it. now that was just plain adorable. you could see see the flames of intrigue flicker in his obsidian eyes, a gaze so intense it made you shrink into satoru a little bit. suguru was being hand gifted the only thing he’s ever wished for, but he would still have it on his terms. he squeezes down harshly on your breast, making you squirm. “cute. we wanted this longer though, so. how about you listen to me instead?”

you scoff, looking down at his hand on you. “don’t act so bold now, sugu. if you wanted to be in charge, you should have acted like it.” you tease, and even gojo smirks behind you. he thought it would be pretty amusing to watch you two battle for dominance, though he’s smart enough to capitalize on an opportunity when he sees one. he pulls you against him, kneading your hips and giving your exposed neck sweet sloppy kisses, all playing into your favor. “maybe i’ll let you give out orders next time–but if you want to be a diva, i’ll just fuck satoru—i’m sure he’s more than enough.”

the mentioned man hums, happy to be in your good graces and your leveraging tool. nothing drives suguru crazier than watching gojo get all the attention. geto gives you a look of dissatisfaction, only pushing you to climb onto your lanky friend’s lap, smiling down at him like an angel from heaven. gojo thought he may die right here. you’re perfect, the way your weight feels in his lap pressing up against his semi is so glorious already he’s afraid he may embarrass himself. his hands find your waist, and he’s looking up to you like he has no idea what to do next. he really is so clueless that it’s adorable. satoru acted like a pussy magnet, which wasn’t necessarily wrong since he is so gorgeous, powerful, and tall, but he never knew how to interact with them—especially since all his fantasies consisted of you, anyway. you smile down at him again and he knows it will be alright, that he’ll do what he does best and learn on the fly—he has to make you feel good.

“take my shirt off, baby.” you coo to him, lifting your arms a bit so he could peel it off. He leans forward unsurely, almost looking to geto for approval before he pinches the fabric and brings it over your head. your tits fall from the little tank top holding them in place, a beautifully heavy chest with pebbled buds wait, calling gojo’s name. his face turns red and he looks up to you for the next order, feeling his semi grow into a full blown problem. geto watches you with narrowed eyes, aching bulge straining against his pants still, and you were only making it worse. he curses himself for being enamored with someone like you, an expert in pushing buttons. you’re his woman whether you know it or not, and he’s only willing to share you with his bestest of friends, even if you were grating on his last nerve.

“do what feels natural, sato.” you breathe out, focused on the way his eyes grow at your permission and his tongue darts out to lick his lips. he’s been fixated on you as long as he can remember, and now it was his time to prove that he was the one for you. he drags your hips closer, wanting you to feel his erection pressing into that tiny thong you had the nerve to put on. you gasp in surprise, though a giggle quickly replaces the sound. you rest your arms on his shoulders, content to twirl locks of snowy white around your fingers. he groans at the sensation, struggling to keep his head on straight already. your body is so warm beneath his hands, so soft and pliable. you duck your head down to kiss him, and he tilts his head up to receive it. it swallows up all his senses, tunneling out everything around him to only focus on your touch, taste, and smell. he’s hungry, eager to prove his worth as a lover, wanting nothing else but to make you feel good. he grabs at your hips to feel you closer, and you indulge by circling your movements in his lap. he moans into your mouth as he feels your tits brush up against his shirt, making him break the kiss and lean back so he could get it off. he does it so quick that you aren’t prepared for his mouth to smack up against yours again, teeth clashing. you giggle again, enchanted by his boyish charm and overwhelming affection for you. it was sweet, and even though he was inexperienced, his kisses were full of passion and heat.

geto had mixed feelings. on one hand, you looked magnificent. your body is like nothing he’s ever seen before, almost to the point of unfairness. no woman could ever compare after this. he’d either have to marry you or be forever disappointed. but, on the other hand, you were wiggling around in gojo’s lap instead of his, and that’s only tolerable for so long. gojo is lucky still, if it were anyone else there would be no tolerance at all. but his patience is wearing thin, especially once you start letting little moans of your own go because of satoru’s big hands massaging your tits and his bulge catching on your puffy clothed clit. you even sound angelic, and it’s pissing him off. this was just a display of your power over them, but suguru wanted to teach a few lessons of his own. he scoots closer, letting his hands mingle around with satoru’s, feeling the dips of your body.

you can feel his touch, easily differentiating between satoru and suguru. your lanky friend’s hands were slimmer and warmer–moving around clumsily. your dark locked counterpart moved with more experience, his fingers thicker and rougher. you smirk at his impatience, clearly not able to be as obedient as dear satoru. you knew it would go like this, with gojo doing anything to please you and geto vying for control himself. you didn’t mind—you know it would push gojo to compete.

geto wastes no time in pulling you off of gojo’s lap and into his own, much to his friend’s disappointment. you give him a pointed look, brow raised and all, but you still wrap your arms around his shoulders the same way you did your other bestie. he smirks up at you, expecting nothing but your compliance once he sees how wet gojo got you. he can tell from the look in your eyes that you don’t have a lot of fight left in you despite the way you act, and that’s perfect for him. he plans to make you brainless, able to remember nothing but him anyway.

“greedy much?” you tease, tossing a look to the pouty white-haired boy watching with contempt. suguru shrugs.

“hardly, just proving that he is not all you need.” he smiles up at you innocently, raking his touch over your thighs. unlike gojo, he knows exactly how to work you up and melt in his hands. gojo harrumphs in the corner of the couch. geto’s brow creeps up even though his head is laxly leaned back against the sofa. he watches you like he owns you, and you love the contrast between the two boys. you roll your eyes and lean down to kiss him anyway, and his lips tell you that the show is over. he gnashes his teeth against your lip, making you squeal and open up for him, wherein he promptly shoves his tongue in to smother yours out. your fingers card through the black tresses cascading over his shoulders and down his back as you hum into his mouth. he’s humming at your eagerness, letting his hand drift from the meaty parts of your hips over to the wet patch on your panties, grinning when you gasp. he works his deft fingers over your heat, and gojo makes a strangled noise as he watches you lewdly suck on geto’s tongue. you let your hips roll into his hand, his other one coming down on your rippling ass. you moan softly, prompting him to spank you again, much to satoru’s enjoyment.

“s’fat, looks so pretty when you do that.” he compliments his friend, shoving out of his pants in anticipation of what comes next. his hand grabs around his proud length, pumping the curved shaft for minimal relief. geto hisses, feeling your hips move desperately towards your own release. he slaps your ass a third time, making you groan out and toss your head back, the picture of a perfect mess.

“gonna cum already?” he tsked, though the smirk on his face betrays him. you nod, tugging on the roots of his hair hard enough to cause a little sting. satoru groans, tired of watching and desperate for any form of aid, but you’re too intoxicating to rush. “then cum.” he demands, stopping his touch.

he knew he had pushed you far enough already, feeling your pelvis stutter against his hand. he watches you come undone, digging pearly white teeth into swollen lips as you dampen your panties another level. he doesn’t give you any type of reprieve before he’s pushing and tugging and arranging you for his preference on the cluttered couch. your brain is foggy already, clit throbbing from satoru’s craze and suguru’s abuse. he’s got you on all fours, face positioned over a huge cock nestled in trimmed white hair.

“be easy on her, satoru.” geto warns as gojo gets to his knees, fisting your hair to get your attention. if you enjoyed suguru’s dominance then he would try some of his own. he directs your mouth over his leaky tip, and you stick out your tongue to encourage him. he nearly shudders just from that, and you whine at the feeling of geto sliding his hands down your ass and thighs with his breath fanning over your shiny hole. you’re gagging on satoru’s length hitting the back of your throat as suguru his fat tongue licks a teasingly slow stripe down your slit. you can’t help but pressed yourself further back into his muscle and force yourself down to the hilt of satoru. he groans loudly, giving you a taste of your own medicine with how he pulls on your hair. he guides you along him, amazed at how much better you feel than his hand. your velvet cheeks feel so wet and warm, it’s amazing he doesn’t cum down your throat instantly. meanwhile geto eats you from the back, sucking on your lips and nudging up against your bud in alternating motions, making your head cloud up with dizziness. that could be from the lack of air you’re able to get in around gojo’s cock stuffing your mouth, tears sliding down your flustered cheeks and drool spilling out around him. he’s whimpering, the sound of him coupled with squelching from both ends had suguru grunting into your folds, letting your sweet essence dribble down his chin. he’s grabbing handfuls of your ass, bruising and smacking the fat. your hands explore the lean expanse that is satoru’s body, muscular thighs keeping you steady and flexing abs making you clench around your other friend’s tongue.

“gah, this—is amazing–fu-huck.” satoru whines, fisting your hair as his cock jumps at the sight of you. you moan your approval, pussy spasming for geto once again without warning, releasing on his face this time. your vision is already blurring, pleasure ripping through you all at once. he’s drunk on the taste of you, sitting upright on his knees as he scoops some of your cum out, coating his fingers with the slick. he may be the slightest bit possessive, but what’s his is gojo’s, and he had to let the other man taste you and get just as pussydrunk as he is. his other hand tugs you off his friend’s dick with a pop, pushing his hardness to the crack of your ass. he leans over you, body like a slab of concrete as he extends his hand to gojo. he leans up immediately, and you’re amazed at the sight of satoru sucking your juice off of suguru’s fingers, moaning slightly at your taste. geto smirks at him, settling back to his original spot. gojo grins widely as he wipes some residual tears from your face.

“she’s so pretty, tell her suguru.” he sings, pushing some hair out of your face as the aforementioned wraps a beefy arm around your waist and pulls you to a sitting position against him. he’s so solid, you can feel how thick and long he is against your back, and it makes you tingle with need like you haven’t came twice already. he pulls you along as he repositions himself, sitting on the couch like it’s intended to be used for with you balanced on his abdomen.

“oh of course, our pretty lady is the only girl i see.” suguru croons, pulling your hair into a ponytail just because he could. you look down at his cock, biting down on your lip at the sight. he was an inch or two shorter than gojo, but made up for it with his thickness. he had veins running along the shaft much like his muscular arms, and a dark tip growing impatient. they were perfect, you knew they would please you in different ways, but you had to have them both.

when satoru gets to his feet and stands in front of you, pale fingers stroking his pretty cock, you knew that was their plan.

geto snakes his hands to your thighs, prying them apart with little resistance from you. he lifts you with this grip, lowering you down all at once on him. he chuckles when you hiss and squirm at the stretch, feeling like a hot knife just gutted you. suguru continues sinking his hips into the cushions below and slamming them back up into you, locking eyes with his best friend eagerly awaiting his turn. you were a whimpering mess, falling back against the man railing you and leaving him responsible for holding you upright as your head finds home on his shoulder.

“if i go easy on you now, you won’t be able to fit us.” suguru explains with a labored breath, your walls so tight he didn’t know if you’d be able to take them anyhow—but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. you nod your understanding, moving your hips to help his strokes hit even deeper. you already feel so full, you can’t imagine what it’s gonna be like when satoru tries to push in. “so fucking wet for your best friends, you’ll take us, won’t you?”

you nod vigorously. it feels like you’re floating, every snap of suguru’s hips slammed his cock impossibly deeper. you knew your little act of control would only last so long, but it worked beautifully. if not for you, they’d probably be jacking off to you for the foreseeable future.

“say it, wanna hear it from our girl’s mouth.” he coos, the tone of his voice so contradictory to what he actually says. it makes your pussy squeeze him anyway.

“wanna take my best friend’s cocks.” you babble, feeling satoru’s hands on your waist again.

“and what else?” suguru groans, almost irritated that your pussy fucked this good and you’ve had the nerve to keep it to yourself all this time. his hand closes around your throat this time, trusting satoru to keep you from falling over. you were so pliable and it was such a treat to hear you talk like this.

“and i’m soaking wet for you both, god–stop teasin’.” you whine, batting your eyes at satoru. he’s sympathetic to your cause, wanting nothing more than to shove his rod deep in you and wonder who makes you feel better, not keen to wait for orders anymore, eager to earn your praise. suguru has your legs spread open perfectly; so while geto snickers from your answer, gojo steps forward and shoves his cock over his best friend’s and into your choking cunt. the feeling takes even suguru aback as you cry out from the stretch. It’s impossible, it’s too much, you feel like they’ll break you in half if they start to move, but the burning subsides, your fingers digging at gojo’s chest when suguru starts to move.

all three of you moan. it’s too good not to, your cunt locking the men against each other, rubbing against your silken walls and the bumpy texture of the other’s ridges was the best way to fuck, they found out. suguru is slow, and prompts gojo to go even slower, feeling you loosen up as the pressure of them in your gut only makes you delirious. you’re so loud, nasty moans and curses coming from your lips as their pace increases, the two men locked in competition to make you and even the other cum first. satoru leans in, pressing his rock hard abdomen against you and deepening his angle. he has to balance himself by bracing his hand on suguru’s other shoulder, both of you close enough to kiss. this was how it was always meant to be, the three of you. he gives you a sloppy kiss, his free hand cupping your cheek to tell you how much this means to him. geto’s caught up in the moment, he tells himself, but everything feels so clear. they were never in competition—you needed them both, and he needed you both, and satoru needed the two of you both. then he feels it, a sloppy kiss meant for him, and he hums in realization. it wasn’t much different from kissing you, though satoru certainly needed the practice. you moan lewdly, the sounds of your cunt being stuffed and their grunts and groans of pleasure provide the soundtrack as they work in tandem to drive you crazy.

“g’na–ngh–cum boys, ohhh~” you cry, legs starting to shake in suguru’s grip. they break their kiss to watch you jerk and jump, fucking into you as deep as their hips will allow. Satoru presses his fingers to your clit, hoping to increase your cute little spasms, but what you do instead is even sexier. you push at his shoulders, a clear liquid gushing and spraying over his abdomen and dripping down your cunt to cover suguru’s balls, leaving them both gaping in amazement.

“that’s a good fucking girl, shit–” suguru mumbles, watching satoru’s face scrunch up in overwhelming pleasure. he doesn’t warn you, holding your hips down to receive all of his cum, the hot feeling making you writhe and moan in his lap to send satoru spurting too. it’s so much, the burning warmth in your gut, their seed mixing together inside of you and gushing out around them both, making such a mess you’re almost embarrassed. satoru slumps forward to kiss you all over, mumbling out thanks for letting them destroy you like this as he lifts you off of suguru, cuddling up with you—mess be damned. you’re panting, sensitive, and dripping but you can’t stop grinning at your success. suguru rolls his eyes at satoru’s childishness, but it really just amuses him. he’d rather you have company as he cleans up the messes anyway, cleaning you and even satoru up before himself. satoru spoons you from behind and suguru shoves himself on the couch to hold you the other way, content at his display of power over the two strongest sorcerers in the room. everyone settles their breathing and into a lull of peace, the only sound in the room was the forgotten movie on the flatscreen, until.

“hey—i didn’t get to eat her outtttttt.” gojo whines, squeezing your body. you laugh, expecting geto to do the same, but he entertains this argument.

“you got your dick sucked—i didn’t get that—”

“we have plenty of time to even the score, shut up and let me sleep before i use my technique to un-fuck you.” you giggle.

#kyleewritesjjk #kylee's kinktober event #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojo smut #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto smut #jujutsu kaisen #jjk geto #stsg #suguru geto #suguru geto x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader

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asapeveryday · 12 days

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SHOCK FACTOR★彡 PART 3

Previous. Next.

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Rival!Reader

Warnings: swearing, suggestive jokes/language, tension

Summary: having Paige’s number means she can bother you whenever she wants, but maybe a night out with her isn’t a bother at all.

A/n: enjoy guys 😇lmk what you think of this one

YOU

is this paige?

???

Has anyone else given you their number since you got here?

YOU

no…

PAIGE

Aight, so who else would it be then? 🤘🏼

YOU

i should’ve thrown out that napkin tbh!🙂

PAIGE

Ignoring that. How’s the hangover?

YOU

it’s ok. getting coffee helped ig

PAIGE

Having another night out might help too…if u fw that

YOU

with you? id rather die then “fw that” 🙏

PAIGE

Ok rot in ya hotel room see if I care 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seen.

PAIGE

Actually nvm I feel bad for ur miserable ass. U shud fr go out and see what Connecticut has to offer. Ever been to Gianni’s?

YOU

no i haven’t, I’ve only been here for like two days. is it italian food?

PAIGE

Only the best in town 😉 u shud def go

YOU

ugh I would but i have to see if elaine can take me cus my teammates are busy

PAIGE

I could take u if u want?

YOU

typing…

YOU CAN FEEL yourself getting socially drained as you text her, at least that’s what you tell yourself. Paige is infuriating and arrogant, which comes with the deadly additions of charisma and the ability to keep you on edge with every word spoken, or even typed.

You’d always known of this, even before your game with her that day. A player like Paige can be hard to come across; perfectly capable, talented and independent yet somehow the best team player out there, sharing passes she can without a doubt make. Why? Because she doesn’t need to prove anything.

It often bothered you, especially since you constantly needed to prove yourself during the start of your college career. You took every shot you could get your hands on, and she gave shots away like candy whilst still having a huge reputation as a player. Obviously it went deeper than that, but the simple fact just stuck to your brain.

You can’t help but recall her face, inches from yours attempting to pry your ball from your grasp. Like she was deserving, like it was hers for the taking. She had made a similar face on the panel where she dissed you soon afterwards, and then again while watching you at the bar, and just before writing her number on the napkin. You wondered if she was making that face right now as she texts you.

PAIGE

I could take u if u want?

The text is simple but it summons some sort of unique feeling in you. Paige Bueckers is offering to pick you up in her car, on her night off, and take you to a restaurant. And you, for whatever reason, are considering saying yes.

Sighing to yourself, you weigh your options. Option one: you sit around your hotel alone till your teammates come back, most probably drunk from a bar since it’s a Saturday. Option two: you ask Elaine to take you out once again, even though you’re probably gonna see her the whole week you’re here. Option three: you let the girl who shit-talked you at a post game conference take you out for dinner.

YOU

i guess i should go out. DONT act like ur doing me a favour tho….n if I don’t have fun i’m blocking u.

PAIGE

Drop the addy. I’ll come by in an hour

Seen.

After hurriedly pulling yourself together, taking an Advil, checking out the restaurant’s Instagram and getting ready you can’t help but find your heart steadily hammering inside of you. Paige is coming to your hotel. You’re gonna be in her car. She’s taking you to her favourite restaurant. This has to be the most peculiar thing that has happened all year.

The car ride is significantly better then you expected it would be. Paige adamantly seems to prevent any room for awkward silence to seep through, commenting on your outfit and filling the vehicle with music that makes the interior buzz from the volume. She has a free look on her face, chair reclined more then you’d dare if you were in the drivers seat, hair blowing in her face from the windows being down.

“I’m surprised you’re driving me out.” You say, finally airing what was on your mind.

Paige shrugs. “Didn’t feel like drinking today. Plus, I’m in the mood to be generous and show you what Storrs has.”

“If someone told me I’d be hanging out with Paige Bueckers like a week ago, I think I’d be fucking appalled. Or disgusted. Or both.” You laugh.

She chuckles, glancing at you sneakily. “You swear a lot, don’t you?”

“Awe my bad.” You pout, giving her a fake-concerned look. “Forgot you can’t handle a little language.”

“I can handle it,” she grumbles. “I just think cursing is better for specific situations.”

“Like what?”

Paige wets her lips almost sheepishly, but she keeps her eyes straight on the road. “Like sex.”

A beat passes before you respond “Sorry I couldn’t savour a couple words for you and your little kink.”

She looks over at you now, and you meet her gaze as equally as you can. She just lets out a smile, shaking her head to herself as she pulls into the parking lot. You try to ignore the elevator-sinking feeling in your stomach from her words as you get out from the car.

The restaurant is beautiful. It’s cozy, ambient and well decorated. Not too fancy and not too full, just perfect. You’re seated in a more secluded area, per Paige’s request. She orders for you, insisting she knows exactly what to get for the best possible experience.

The food is good, and you don’t feel the need to hide it from Paige, who visibly grows at your praise for the place she picked out.

“So, are you jus in Connecticut for Elaine?” She says.

“Not really.” You reply. “Me and some of the others are just doing a little East Coast road-trip. I wasn’t really interested in coming to Storrs, but it made sense to come by and see her.”

“For a whole week?” She raises her eyebrow. “Seems like you’re close.”

“I was only gonna stay in Storrs for a couple days, then go to Hartford but the girls seem to like it here.” You shrug. “They think it’s cute, being a small town and all, but it’s pretty boring if you’re not a student.”

“It’s better if you’re with fun people.” She smiles.

“I hope you don’t think you’re fun.”

“Compared to Elaine I definitely am.” Paige scoffs.

You can’t help but feel a little more hostility than humour in her tone.

“Do you guys know each other?” You ask, as sly and innocent as you can muster. Paige seems hesitant.

“Nah.” She finally decides. “I mean, we’ve talked before. Ion know her personally.”

“It’s kinda funny, she said she doesn’t pay much attention to you but I think she might have a little crush.” You laugh.

Paige visibly stiffens at this, which catches you by surprise.

In a split second she regains her calm, unbothered composure. “What has she said?”

“Not much.” You shrug. “Just seems a little interested.”

Paige’s jaw clenches for a moment, and you’re not surprised when she changes the subject. “How many people have been on your case since I posted that picture of us from the bar on my story?”

“God, so many.” You laugh, shaking your head. “You?”

“You don’t even wanna know.” She scoffs. “Not sure why everyone was so crazy bout it though, s’not like we were beefing for real.”

“Right!” You say, happy she seems to be on the same page. “It was just some petty crap. I guess people just really were hoping there would be some rivalry.”

You think for a moment, before saying. “Maybe we should keep this drama thing up. Might be fun.”

“It’s a lil too late for that,” Paige shakes her head with a slight smile. “remember how KK and Ice were on live yesterday at the coffee shop? Yeah, we kinda were in the background at some point. People saw us talking.”

“You’re joking.”

“Dead serious. There are edits and everything.”

You rest your head in your hands, elbows on the table, lessening the proximity between you and her. “I only get into these weird ass situations when I interact with you, Paige.”

She sits up in her seat, blue eyes quickly looking you up and down. “Yet you’re still here.”

“Girl’s gotta have fun.” You shrug. Her foot hits yours under the table, her eyebrow raised as if challenging you. You have a sudden thought of going under the table and letting your hands unzip her cargo pants, but instead you just kick her back.

“Wanna go?” She asks. You don’t want to go back to the hotel, and she seems to pick up on it. “The area we’re in is nice. We can walk around a bit.”

You smile and nod. “Split the bill?”

“Fuck no.” She shoots you a look, pulling out her credit card from the back of her phone.

“You cursed!” You exclaim, to which she scoffs.

“I said it’s alright in specific situations.”

Now it’s your turn to scoff. “Well we’re not having sex, are we?”

The way her eyelashes flutter at your question gives you jitters. “Aight, stop talking.” She finally manages to respond. You just send her a look that you hope makes her nervous.

“You’re not funny.” She grumbles, attempting to grab your phone from you.

“Back off, Bueckers! I’m serious.” You laugh, sidestepping her with your phone above your head. The street was empty and the lights were on, putting the two of you in a yellow glow against the night. You’d been walking around the neighbourhood, observing houses and learning a bit about Storrs for the past hour.

“Give me your phone, I know you ain’t deleting those.” She huffs, grabbing for your phone. You try to escape her grasp but she’s got longer limbs, so eventually your phone is in her pocket and she’s wearing a proud look on her face.

It’s nice to walk in the quiet of evening, her beside you. You have no idea where you are but you can’t help but trust she can get you back to the car in no time. Not just yet though.

You turn to look at Paige almost shamelessly. There’s just so much to observe with her. Her confident posture, toothy smile, sleek straightened blonde hair, even the baggy cargo pants and sweater. She always looked good, it never failed to annoy you.

“Either your pants are too tight or crazy baggy.” You note. She just raises her eyebrow.

“Sounds like you just want me to take my pants off at this point.”

“Wouldn’t mind a little show.” You reply almost instantly, shocking yourself at the surge of confidence. She doesn’t seem taken aback, in fact she’s intrigued.

“Is that your usual routine? Have a meal out then have a meal at home?”

“Maybe it is.” You shrug. “I never object to a wine n dine.”

“And what exactly would you object to?”

“Cocky girls who think they’re the shit.” You say, turning your head to face her. You don’t mean to target her, but she simply smiles.

“Is it really being cocky if I can back it up though?” Paige asks quietly. You’re not walking anymore, stuck in place on an empty path between buildings. She’s closing in on you until your back hits a brick wall. The way Paige is staring down at you, hands in her pockets, lip between her teeth. It’s nothing you’d object to, ever.

“I won’t believe it till I see it.” You mutter, holding her eye. The air is tense in a new way that you haven’t felt with her since you first met in the bar. Her face is entrancing.

Paige’s hands lift your jaw upwards, and she leans into your ear. “You might not see it,” she mumbles, breath hot against your skin. “But you’ll definitely feel it.”

When she pulls back from your ear she stays hovering just above you, hands chastely holding your head up. You’re in the perfect position to kiss, and you can’t stop your eyes from darting between her electric stare to her lush, pink lips.

You can literally feel her breath on your mouth when a piercing ring cuts through the moment. It’s coming from her pocket, and she pulls out your phone. Paige’s face twists as she reads the screen. “It’s Elaine.”

“Just- just decline it.” You rush out, not caring how desperate you sound. You can feel how wet you are, and the lack of heat against you is blaring.

“She texted you too.” Paige scoffs. “She’s waiting for you at your hotel.”

You don’t even know what to say. Paige’s face is expressionless. You’re disappointed, but there’s no point in begging. Nothing really happened.

“Let’s get you home.” She says, starting to walk back from where you came. “Shouldn’t keep her waiting.” Her tone is dripping with toxicity. It makes you shiver.

#Spotify #fanfiction #fanfic #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #rpf #paige bueckers x reader #paige buckets #paige x reader #x reader #tension #uconn women’s basketball #usc wbb #rivals to lovers

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winwintea · 12 days

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dreamies as your flight seatmate + ratings

PAIRING ▸ boyfriend!dreamies x reader

TAGS ▸ none, crack, established relationship, haechans is the worst someone drop him out of the plane please

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸inspired by an insta post i saw for 127 and thought the dreamies deserved their own version.

Mark Lee

mark and you have 3 hours on this flight, so get ready for 3 hours of straight yapping from mark lee himself. he’s gonna show you pictures he has saved on his phone and goes into every single detail about the photo. you honestly just want to chill and listen to music, but if it seems like he’s given up, 5 minutes later he’ll bring up another subject. even if you’re gonna try to fall asleep he’ll wake you up, “yo, did you hear what i just said?” and you can’t get mad at him, who wants to see him sad? (4/10 seatmate, sometimes cooks, most of the time idk what he’s talking about)

Huang Renjun

renjun is probably one of those insane people on planes. he can get through the whole flight not talking to a single person, not listening to any music at all, not even looking out the window, just staring straight forward, lost in his own thoughts. if the flight map is available he’ll watch it for fun, otherwise he can pretty much entertain himself for however long the flight is. renjun would even read the safety manual for fun??? however if you needed him for anything, or if you wanted to watch a movie he’d be down you just need to ask, otherwise he’s gonna be in his own zone. (6/10 seatmate since he’s insane, but points only bc he’ll do anything if you ask him too)

Lee Jeno

jeno would be in your personal space, BUT IT’S NOT HIS FAULT DON’T BLAME HIM. he’d take up the armrests too but that’s because his arms are so big… and you wouldn’t want him to be uncomfortable. and lowkey you’re fine with the personal space invasion thing too cause he smells good. (you’re coping) and maybe during the middle of the flight he’ll put the armrest up and hold you in a big hug, just so you can feel more comfortable cause he feels bad for taking up so much room. “i hope this is comfortable enough for you, it’s just a few more hours, you can take a nap on my shoulder or legs if you want” (7/10 seatmate, he feels bad and i would feel guilty if i gave him anything under a 6)

Lee Donghyuck

haechan is an armrest hogger… and he doesn’t even need to. instead of talking to you though, he’ll be on his phone the whole entire trip, watching tiktoks OUT LOUD on his phone. you honestly wanted to watch a movie with him, but you aren't even going to consider it now. and when you catch him peeking over your shoulder trying to watch whatever tv show you’re watching, you give him an annoyed look, and turn the device so you can’t see him. (-127/10 seatmate, just wait until he takes off his shoes cause then you’re both getting kicked off by the stewardess)

Na Jaemin

jaemin is the embodiment of the BEST seatmate ever. he’s always checking in on you, making sure you have ample leg room, let’s you use the armrests even if you don’t want to. he brought a whole bunch of snacks to for you two to share and snack on. downloaded a bunch of movies and tv shows for the ride, but if you don’t want to watch a movie, that’s fine. want to sleep? he brought a neck pillow. want to just talk? he can do that. (10/10 seatmate this is why i have high standards in men)

Zhong Chenle

chenle’s company could either go one or two ways. one, he could spend the whole entire flight watching the basketball game with the third person in your row that somehow was also a golden state warriors fan? to which… fuck him cause how tf did you become a third wheel? or two, he and you spend the whole entire flight just shit talking the other passengers on the plane with each other. chenle and you would probably be whispering to each other and giggling away. (3/10 cause the first outcome is more likely. we know even if there’s no other person to watch it with, as long as there’s a game on he’s watching.)

Park Jisung

jisung… it’s a little too quiet… and a little too tense. the mood is almost way too awkward? “jisung… you can talk to me you know?” you turn towards him, and his cheeks flush with embarrassment. “oh i wasn’t sure if you… wanted to talk or… maybe you were gonna sleep-“ you shush him with your finger, and lay your head upon his shoulder. His whole body begins to relax and he no longer feels cooped up in the seat like he was at first, “Whatever we do, let’s do it together alright?” (8/10 seatmate, very awkward, originally it’s way too close for his comfort but he gets into it and will do anything you want <3)

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featherandferns · 2 months

Text

orange juice (fic)

jj maybank x fem!reader | inspired by noah kahn's incredible music

content warning: mentions of drinking and drug use; mentions of abuse; mentions of bodily harm (vague, non-graphic); sexual content | feel free to message me with questions of detail if any of this concerns you before reading!

word count: 7.5k

blurb: in the most unlikely of settings, you and JJ reunite after five years apart in radio silence.

“You know, on my way here, I saw a dead rat.”

A cloud of cigarette smoke dispels into the air.

“It was funny, you know? Cause I felt bad that it was dead, even though it was a rat. I mean, I knew nobody was going to miss it, and that it didn’t have any rat family or friends which would mourn it or anything. But still…It looked like it had been hit by a car, and it was only small so it didn’t look very old, and it seemed so harmless lying there. It probably had a million and one diseases, but just laying there, it seemed harmless. And it felt weird to be sad about this thing dying which would have only maybe caused more damage if it had stayed alive – nibbling through electrical wires and all that.”

JJ takes another drag of his cigarette as he digests the anecdote.

“Anyway. This just made me think of that,” you quietly finish before sinking back into the silence.

“Did you just compare my dad’s funeral to a dead rat?”

You clear your throat. JJ watches in his peripheral as you look down at your feet and fidget your fingers.

“Shit, I guess I did.”

His eyes cut ahead the moment yours seem to flick up.

“Can’t believe that’s the first thing I’ve said to you in years.”

JJ inhales and exhales the nicotine of his cigarette. “Well, I can.”

That makes you laugh. Small and sheltered.

“I weren’t sure that you were going to come,” JJ tells you.

“Could say the same thing to you,” you reply.

Sighing, he drops the cigarette and crushes it under the heel of his boot. He probably should have worn smarter shoes. But then, why would he? Waste of money and space in his truck. Not like his dad was going to see them anyway.

“I only decided yesterday. Practically drove all night.” As if reminding himself of the sleep deprivation, JJ lets out a yawn.

“How is it, being back in Kildare?” you wonder.

JJ shrugs. “Weird. But also not weird at all. I guess I just feel old. I was driving through town and everything looks different.”

“I mean, it has been five years.”

“Jesus,” JJ chuckles, shaking his head. Had it really been that long?

He shoves his hands in his pant pockets and finally finds the nerve to take you in. His eyes scan over you like one might survey potential damage to a car after a close call. He never lets them go below your waist though. As if losing nerve, he flicks them back up to your head and meets your eyes.

“You look well.”

“Thanks. Right back at ya,” you smile.

With that smile – sweet and simple – JJ finds himself being hurled back through time to his teen years. The reminiscing of his youth and the memories that your presence stirs up feels like reflecting on a past life. Something that he almost had, and something that he didn’t exactly lose, but something that changed.

Everything had changed, really. The streets that he used to drive down with his friends, running away from security and darting to and from keggers and house parties, they all had new homes, new paint, new families. Old mom-and-pop shops were now trendy smoothie spots and hippie bars. Empty plots of land that were a good spot to share a joint had now been bought and developed into stylish holiday rentals. None of JJ’s family was left here, not even his cousin. None of his friends were here anymore either. Well, except for you. Is that what you were to him? A friend?

“It was a nice service,” you say.

“Was it?”

For someone like Luke Maybank, ‘nice’ is probably a generous term for a funeral service that’s void of cheery anecdotes and tender memories. It’s a shame that all the memories JJ held in high regard of his father – of the moments that they were bonded and close – often came with the overarching theme of alcohol or drugs. He wasn’t sure there was ever a genuine moment shared between the two. Whatever praise and pride he gathered from his dad was short lived and sparse. When his dad left the island on the boat he stole, JJ never heard from him again. And now he never would.

“Did they ask if you wanted to say anything?”

“What’s there to say? He was a guy and he died in a bender. Short and simple, I guess.”

You nod and go silent once more.

JJ knows that his answer evaded the politeness markers of small talk, but it was true. Luke Maybank was a human who lived on this earth with no mark to be left apart from those which he laid on his own child. The only way that he’d be remembered was in the nightmares that still sometimes have JJ waking up in cold sweats and reaching for the box of cigarettes by his bed.

“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have come,” you say.

“No, it’s not…” JJ shakes his head and offers you a smile, but he knows it looks unnatural. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling right now. Perhaps everything, if that’s even possible. “I’m glad you came. I’m just tired and…well, you know.”

The funeral of my father.

“Right. Of course.”

He watches you tuck your hair behind your ears and glance towards the graves. He remembers how you used to do that when you were both younger. It was funny to him: you’d go through the fuss of trying your hair back in one way or another, but you’d always leave out a couple of strands. “To frame my face” you’d tell him, and then you’d precede to spend the rest of the day tucking your hair behind your ears. He liked it though. When you’d be concentrating on something, like surfing or fixing something up or writing, you’d lean forward and they’d come lose and hang over your pretty features. He’d want to mess with them; tuck them behind your ears for you. Sometimes he did. He remembers when you’d be on top of him, kissing him senseless, and they’d come lose and tickle his face. Somehow it would make the whole thing more sensual, with his laughs and your giggles.

He feels his face flush as the memories of nights like those creep back into his head. He shouldn’t think of you like that, not after all this time. Not with how things turned out. And especially not at his father’s funeral.

JJ had come over to you once his father was safely tucked away in the ground, six feet under. You’d attended the service at the church, hiding near the back, and then the burial, and as everybody else departed to give JJ ‘a moment’ (whatever the hell that meant), he’d turned to find you stood near a bench, lost in thought.

“It was nice of you to come,” JJ thanks.

“I’m surprised none of the others are here.”

“They don’t know. I sort of kept it close to the chest,” JJ admits. “I’m actually impressed by the turnout.”

You go to laugh and JJ sees you stifle it. It helps him ease up, smile a real smile for a second, as wicked as that sounds.

“People have layers, I guess.”

“Not my dad.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

You meet his gaze again. Your eyes make it clear that you haven’t shed a tear and neither had JJ. He wasn’t sure if maybe that would come later, once the so-called shock had worn off. He doubted it though. And yet, there was a haze of sadness about him. Death is weird as a whole. The death of a parent like JJ’s, even weirder. Maybe it wasn’t just the funeral causing the sadness. Maybe it was you.

JJ makes a move to leave but before he can even shift his foot one whole step, you’re talking.

“Do you wanna come back to mine? We could catch up. I’m sure you’ve been doing all sorts since I last saw you. Maybe have a drink or two, for old times’ sake?”

“Oh, I don’t drink anymore.”

“Oh,” you say. A pause for thought, then, “well, I have orange juice.”

It’s a strange thing to offer in place of a bottle of beer or glass of wine. Most people would say a cup of coffee. But no - orange juice: that’s where your mind went. It makes JJ smile. It seems so on-par for you to offer him that.

“Okay. Sure. Orange juice sounds good.”

“Do you need a moment, before we leave?” you ask, glancing back over your shoulder to the gravesite of JJ’s deceased father.

The dirt atop of his plot is fresh and stark brown against the green grass. JJ stares a second. The groundkeeper is dusting some muck off the gravestone. The funeral director had offered him a fine granite with award winning chiselling, after recognising JJ from the articles of El Dorado and assuming some high-placed budget. JJ had opted for a simple thing though. Cheap and likely to be hard to read within half a decade. It’s what Luke deserved. Probably what he would have invested into JJ, if the roles were reversed.

“No, I don’t. We can go,” JJ says, voice vacant. He looks back to you. “I’ll drive.”

You don’t live in your childhood home anymore. The place that you’ve settled in is a small home in a sweet looking neighbourhood. In fact, it seems the only part of Kildare that feels familiar to JJ. The front garden is quaint but well kept, with trimmed grass and flower beds that clearly garner a lot of attention and care. The fence is in need of a lick of paint: the blue fading and peeling. A sticky note is attached to the door frame of the front door and it makes JJ smile. ‘Doorbell’s fucked – shout “ding dong” really loud’.

“This is a step up,” JJ says.

“Nice, right? My neighbour is a dick though. Always complaining that I leave my driveway light on in the middle of the night. As if I can even afford to that.”

JJ chuckles as he follows you inside. There’s an instant warm smell that hits him. JJ can’t seem to describe it in any other way than that it smells like you. The interior is safe and homely. The wallpaper and wooden floors pair nicely with the throw pillows and crystals and plants and flowers. Fairy lights are strung from end to end. A kitchen, open plan, feeds nicely into a sitting room. A dining table is tucked in the corner which seemingly functions more as a desk: books piled atop with sheets of paper strewn out. There’s a small corridor to the right and the walls are lined with framed pictures which JJ can’t make out from where he’s stood. He assumes it must lead to a bathroom and bedroom. It isn’t unlived in though. There’s a small pile of clothes which need ironing; they’re sat in a basket, next to the TV. Near the backdoor is an arts and crafts project of some kind strewn about on the floor in organised chaos, blocking the exit.

It's still early in the afternoon so you don’t bother flicking on a light, instead opting to soak in the last few hours of daylight before dusk. Kie used to compare you to a cat, basking in the sun and chasing the rays until there was none left to follow.

JJ closes the door behind him and leans against it.

“You can take your shoes off, if you want.”

“Alright,” he mumbles. He toes them off and kicks them to the side, amongst a pile of your own. He notices how there’s nobody else’s shoes there: just yours, and now his.

You pour out two glasses of orange juice and turn around, handing one to him. He takes it, lost in thought. It all feels surreal, stood here with you, after a five-year pause. When you go to the sofa to sit, he assumes he should follow. You sit on opposite ends. A part of him wonders why you haven’t stretched out your legs and dumped your feet in his lap. ‘These stink’, JJ jokes, poking your toes. You wiggle his fingers off. ‘Shut up, no they don’t.’ Force of habit: he always seems to get stuck on that past. Instead, you go to pull one of your legs up onto the sofa, and JJ flicks his eyes around the room another time. He sips his juice.

“So…” You start. “Any news?”

“Well, my dad died, so there’s that.”

You kick out your leg, aiming for his thigh. “Come on now. Be serious.”

“I am; you were at the funeral. Thought you might remember that,” JJ jokes.

Rolling your eyes mirthfully, you have a sip of your juice. The sun paints shapes on the coffee table, weaving through the thin curtains that line your window. It makes your skin glow, healthy and happy. He’s torn between staring at your face and remembering every detail of your features and avoiding you completely.

“When did you move in here? It’s nice.”

“About two years ago. Mom and dad are still at the old place. They’ve rented out my room though, for tourists and stuff.”

“That’s nice of them,” JJ snorts. “How’s your brother? Is he doing good?”

“He is. He’s at college actually. Graduates later this year.”

“The fuck? That’s so trippy,” JJ mumbles, almost to himself.

JJ can remember your brother as nothing more than a preteen, sulking around the house and begging for rides to soccer practice. Now he’s nearly got a whole ass degree. His eyes naturally fixate on the dining-table-come-desk in the corner.

“What do you do for work then?”

“I’m a teacher at Kildare high.”

Of course you are. JJ smiles, eyes still fixated on the table. It seems to prompt you to continue.

“It’s kinda weird sometimes cause some of the old farts still work there,” you say.

“Oh shit. Mr Rumble still there?” JJ asks, perking up a little, meeting your gaze.

You laugh. “Mr Rummel does still work there, yeah. Still likes to bring you up to me, actually.”

“Really? In what way?”

“Just likes to add the odd little ‘you remember when your boyfriend used to steal my stapler’ kinda things.”

JJ’s laugh is different this time. The word ‘boyfriend’ coming out of your mouth has his thoughts short circuiting. You glance down at your juice and swirl it around the cup.

“Anyway, it’s a pretty good gig. I like teaching, and I actually think I’m making a difference to some of these kids lives sometimes, which is sort of strange.”

“I bet you are. You were always good at helping people,” JJ tells you. Your smile turns soft.

“Thanks, JayJ.”

The nickname is like another sucker punch to the chest. JJ takes it like a champ. Washes it down with water; pretends there’s vodka in there somewhere.

“How are the others, then?” you ask. “How are they?”

“Good. Happy. John B and Sarah are expecting a kid soon.”

“Fuck off.”

“No joke,” JJ laughs. He leans back into the sofa, reclining in the soft throw pillows. It’s strange how easily relaxed he is in this new setting. “They’re debating between two names. Esmeralda or Eton.”

“No. Please God, tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish,” JJ snorts. “Not that I got much of a leg to stand on.”

“What do you mean?” you frown. You lean over and place your juice down on the coffee table.

“JJ? Kinda dumb name.” JJ has a sip of his own before mirroring your actions.

“Hardly. ‘John James’ is pretty proper sounding to me.”

“Meh.” JJ shrugs and props an arm up on the back of the sofa.

“What about Kie, and Pope?”

“Kie is on her environmentalist shit. Investing in rebuilding the coral and things. Pope is studying like crazy. Got a good job lined up too.”

“Only Pope would get a degree when he has literal gold in his savings,” you chuckle. “Didn’t you buy a shop too, or something?”

“A little surf shop with John B, yeah,” JJ nods, smiling proud. The surf shop is something that he would always take pride in. What felt like a pipedream was now his nine-to-five. “It’s doing real good, actually. We’re thinking about expanding.”

“Well, that’s good,” you say, nodding. The two of you lock eyes. Your smile holds steady. “I’m happy for you, JJ. Really.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I’m glad you’re doing good, too.”

And now the polite small talk is over and the catch-up is done. It’s so bizarre seeing someone again after so long. So many things in life have passed – relationships, jobs, fights, conversations, achievements, ailments – but when you finally come to sum it up, it only takes ten minutes. Going through a heartbreak lasts for months, but then a year later and the relationship is summed up in a sentence or two. Time doesn’t only heal, but it also shrinks. It seems to have shrunk whatever used to exist between yourself and JJ too, as you both sit, searching for things to talk about which avoid the dark and ugly. Things which avoid the obvious.

“Do you think you’ll stick around in Kildare for a bit?”

“I don’t know. I ain't really thought about it,” JJ admits. “I weren't even sure if I was gonna go to the funeral.”

“Where are you staying tonight?” you wonder.

He laughs to himself and shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “I have no idea. Probably just crash in my truck.”

“You’re loaded as fuck and you’re gonna crash in your truck?” you laugh. It isn’t mean when you say it. Just amused.

“I don’t know. You don’t really get used to having money when you grew up without it. I still feel guilty buying a new pair of boots or something when my old ones ain't coming apart at the soles and shit.”

You nod. “That makes sense. Eminem had a similar thing.”

“Yeah, I’ve always thought me and Eminem were similar,” JJ deadpans.

It seems to strike well with you because you’re cracking up, laughing like he’s just told the best joke you’ve ever heard. He smiles. He always liked making you laugh. You have a horrendous laugh: truly awful. Cats in a bag being bashed against the wall-howling dog parade level of terrible. JJ loved it though. He used to tickle you just to hear it. Watching you now, head titled back, eyes shut and mouth agape, guffawing like a damn hyena…He feels like throwing up.

“Sorry, that…That was good,” you chuckle, wiping your eyes and catching your breath. “You were always good at making me laugh.”

“Fuck knows why,” JJ chuckles.

“Cause you’re funny,” you reply, as if its obvious. “You were always funny.”

It’s strange how the tone of the conversation rises and falls like a mountain range the longer the two of you sit on the sofa.

Your smile turns sombre, like when someone reminisces over a funny memory of their dead pet. Nice at first, amused, and then dampened with the reminder that those times have passed.

“It’s weird, to be honest. You’re so different now but you’re also still JJ.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know,” you sigh. You glance around the room for a moment, as if you’d find the answer hidden in code on the spine of the books stacked on the windowsill. You look at him again. “Your face looks different.”

“It does?” JJ asks. He lifts a hand and strokes his jaw. He could do with a shave, he supposes. The vanity tries to bite through to ask how, but before he can, you’re talking again.

“You don’t drink,” you add, nodding to the orange juice still sat on the coffee table. “You’re quieter. Less…”

You seem to lose the words and so you gesture with your hands. Explosion.

“Calmer. Sadder, but not sad.”

“I can’t tell if these are good things or not,” JJ says, half-joking.

“You look at me different too.”

That makes him pause. He meets your eyes and holds your gaze, steady. The whole room shifts in a moment, from carefree catch-up to tense confrontation.

“Different?”

“Yeah. You look at me different.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” JJ mutters, going to reach for his drink.

“Yes, you do, JJ.”

Your smile is gone now. He can tell, catching it from his peripheral. Suddenly he doesn’t want to be here. Doesn’t want to be in Kildare, doesn’t want to be in this house, in this room.

“You could at least acknowledge it, you know?”

“I don’t understand—”

“It’s actually more rude to not acknowledge it,” you snip.

“I’m not being rude, I’m just making conversation. You’re the one who’s got me on blast like you’re some God damn therapist,” JJ hits back, meeting your steely stare.

“You feel like you’re on blast?”

“I feel like I’m being observed, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Maybe you are. Maybe you are being observed, JJ,” you return, voice harsh and cutting like how a blade slices through paper. “Because it’s fucking weird having you back.”

“You’re the one that invited me here.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” you say.

JJ takes a breath and closes his eyes. The anger never went away, despite what you’ve just told him, he just got older. Got better at hiding it. Got enough money to try therapy. He takes another moment to breathe through it. Push it down his throat and back into his stomach and let it burn out in the acid.

“I’m sorry,” you quietly say. The venom is gone. “I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”

He isn’t sure why – can’t pinpoint a perfect reason behind it – but behind his eyelids, JJ feels tears swell. Feels his lips twitch like a child when they hit their funny bone. His next breath in is shaky.

“JJ?”

“Just…”

His voice cracks and he clears it, shaking his head. He wants to open his eyes but he’s scared he’ll start crying, and he’s not doing that, not right now, not today. It’s not even you. You’d seen him cry before. Held him through it and patched him up; made him smile after the sadness. But he refuses to cry today because he can’t give his dad that satisfaction, even if it’s not about him. Opening his eyes, no tears escape. He reaches for the juice and downs it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that,” he snaps. Then, softer, “please.”

You nod. There’s a quiet. Then, you move to stand and he closes his eyes again because it’s a struggle for you to stand. It’s a struggle. He rubs a hand over his mouth as if trying to shove the welling emotions back inside. There’s the sound of running water in the background as JJ tries to gather himself. The crack-crack-crack of a gas stove turning on and then the clink of metal on metal. You’ve put the kettle on, boiling water. There’s the tinker of porcelain mugs being taken off a stand. He seems to zone in on the peaceful sounds of you making coffee.

When you pour water into the mugs, he remembers the sound of your voice years back. ‘Did you know humans have the ability to hear the difference between hot and cold water being poured?’ ‘Why the fuck do you know that?’ ‘I don’t know. Just thought it was interesting.’

As the teaspoon repeatedly brushes against the inside of the cup as you stir in the instant coffee and milk, JJ finally feels all the emotions even out. As your footsteps make their way back over to him, you flick on the lamp by the front door. JJ opens his eyes to see you place a steaming cup of Joe in front of him on the coffee table. The mug is cute. It’s peach pink and says “I’m drinking tea instead of committing crimes” on the front in an innocent type-writer print.

“Cute mug.”

“Thanks. Thought of you.”

He silently laughs. You sit closer to him this time and your mug sits next to his. There’s no funny quote written across the paint. Then your hand is on his back, barely rubbing him, and it hits JJ that this is the first time you’ve touched him in five years.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so angry,” you tell him. “It ain’t my place to say any of that. Especially not today.”

“It’s true, though. That’s the kicker, ain’t it? That it’s true,” JJ replies.

He sighs and leans back, sitting upright once more. Your hand falls away and you clasp it in the other in your lap. He glances down and takes in your side profile. That stupid piece of hair has come lose again, fallen in your face. He distracts his twitching fingers by twisting one of his rings.

“I’m okay, you know,” you tell him. You look up and meet his eyes. Yours are damp with emotion, just like his were moments earlier. “I’m really okay.”

“You almost weren’t though.”

“Is that the problem? That I almost wasn’t?”

“It’s not the problem. You were never a problem.”

“I ain't mean it like that,” you tell him. You shake your head and JJ isn’t entirely sure why. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Am I the reason that you left Kildare?”

A bird calls outside and JJ seems to latch onto it like a lifeline. That question makes him feel stranded and scared. He wasn’t ready for it despite being fully prepared.

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I…It ain't that simple.”

“Can you explain it to me, maybe?” you wonder. There’s no wrath to your tone anymore – no vendetta against him. There’s just curiosity and care, and this wonderful tenderness that JJ always associated with you from day one, when you offered him your cap to keep his hair off his face.

“I didn’t like the person I was in Kildare.”

“Okay,” you quietly say.

“I didn’t like how I acted. I didn’t like how reckless I was, and how I didn’t care who got hurt in the process.”

“Like me?”

JJ swallows. He doesn’t tear his eyes from yours though. “Yeah. Like you.”

“Okay,” you repeat, quieter still, nodding.

“After El Dorado, coming back here, everything felt tainted. I just…I needed to escape it. My dad and my past and…And you. I couldn’t face it. I felt like I’d caused some freak accident and had gotten away, and then I'd come back to face the aftermath and I just couldn’t stomach it. I just ran.”

You nod.

“I just ran,” he hears himself repeat. “And I’m not proud of it. Of any of it.”

“Okay.”

“And I wanted to fix things, but I didn’t know how. Every time I thought of coming back to Kildare, or picking up the phone, or going on Instagram and finding you…I just got so fucking scared, like a stupid shithead kid. I was so scared of becoming the guy I was again.”

And, again, you nod. When he doesn’t continue, you fill the space. “How long have you been sober?”

“The minute I left Kildare.”

“Fuck.”

“Cold turkey. It sucked ass. It still does. You don’t miss it any less. I miss the rage too, sometimes. I miss my dad sometimes, too. Miss him beating on me. How fucked up is that? That I miss him beating on me?”

You don’t seem to know what to say to that. You just look down at the coffee mugs and watch how the steam is slowly but surely going away.

“I am sorry. I know that ain't worth anything, but I am sorry.”

“It is worth something.” You clear your throat, voice coming out stronger when you say, “It’s worth everything.”

Your smile comes back, timid and tiny. You meet eyes for the millionth time that night.

“It feels like I’ve been ready for you to come back, for so long, and now you’re actually here and…I don’t even know where to start.” He watches your tongue dart out and wet your lips. “I wasn’t expecting you to look so good.”

“Disappointed?”

“Massively. I would have got my ass in the gym more if I knew it was a Goddamn competition.”

JJ smiles. “You were always a sore loser.”

“Says you,” you snort.

There’s another peak in the conversation after the long slug of the last dip. It’s so bizarre. So wonderfully bizarre.

“I’m proud of you, for getting sober. Do you feel better for it?”

“Depends.”

“Well, you look better for it,” you say.

“You’re drooling, I think,” JJ teases, reaching a finger out to prod your cheek.

Rolling your eyes, you mirthfully bat his hand away. “You’re hallucinating.”

“Well, withdrawal does crazy things,” he quips back.

You chuckle and shake your head. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I miss you too.”

Your lips part a little with that. Miss. You seem to hesitate to hold his gaze then, like it’s too intense. JJ feels as though he can see every emotion flash across your face in a second, like watching a car crash in slow motion. Surprise, shock, joy, anger, then sadness. It’s that sadness that hammers hard when you speak, voice weak.

“You left without saying anything, JJ. For five years. You just left me.”

“Don’t make it sound like that. Like I abandoned you.”

“But you did,” you whisper. The tears are back. You’ve both fallen from the top of the mountain. “You abandoned me.”

“You don’t get it,” JJ replies, voice suddenly thick.

“I was in it with you.”

“You didn’t see it,” JJ forces out. His tears are falling: they didn’t wait this time. “You didn’t see how it looked – how you looked. You looked so fucking fragile and tiny and small and your leg was so bent and twisted and black – it was black – and I thought you were already dead.”

Your breathing is shaky and broken. The two of you sit on your sofa in the sunset, eyes locked, tears streaming, chests heaving like you’ve run a marathon. The word ‘dead’ hangs in the air and haunts the room.

“I thought you were dead, and I thought it was because of me.”

“Do you hate me for it?”

“Why the fuck would I—”

“Because I didn’t die? Do you hate me for it?”

JJ blinks back his bewilderment. He physically shifts back in his seat, as if you just spat in his face. Horrified, he tells you, “Of course I don’t. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because I’m still here, JJ. But you acted like I wasn’t for five years. You didn’t even come see me in the hospital. Didn’t sit with me in the ambulance. Hell, you can’t even look at my leg now! You think I didn’t notice? At the graveyard, and now. You think I can’t see it on your face?”

JJ whispers your name in a tearful plea. Stop.

“I’m still here, JJ. And I invited you back here, and I went to the funeral, because I wanted to see you.”

“To show me what I did?” JJ asks, harsher than needed.

You hold his gaze. “To show you I’m okay.”

He shakes his head, insistent. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t been drinking and if I’d been thinking straight, I would have never let you jump off the bike like that. It was fucking reckless and stupid and I would never, ever do it again. It was all my fault.”

“I don’t care who’s fault it was, JJ,” you whisper. Your hand reaches out and traces his cheek and jaw, and he can’t help but lean into your warm touch. There you sit, cradling his face as if he was the victim in this whole thing. It calms him almost immediately. “Nobody forced me on that bike. Nobody forced me to jump, not even you.”

“I shouldn’t have let you.”

“JJ,” you sigh.

He closes his eyes as you shift in your spot, and somehow you end up with your forehead pressed against his. He reaches out one of his hands for the other of yours that rests in your lap and he clenches it, tight. You’re both still crying but they’re silent tears now.

“I forgive you, JJ.”

He shakes his head whilst you nod.

“Yes, I do, I forgive you. I always have. You know why?”

He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move.

“Because you were dealt the shitest hand I’ve ever known and look who you are. You’re sober, and you're healthy, and you have loving friends and a steady income and a job which you love, and a boathouse, and so much of your life left. And you didn’t kill anyone. You didn’t kill me, JJ. You didn’t even lose me.”

“I don’t—”

“We’re more than our mistakes.”

When JJ opens his eyes, you pull back enough to let him meet your gaze. As if you know what he’s about to ask, you smile. That smile…JJ feels like he’s coming home.

“You’re more than your mistakes, JJ.”

The moment his lips slot against yours, tentative and hesitant, like a bird exploring new ground for the first time, he’s home. There’s hardly a moment of reluctance, of confusion and mismatch from the time passed, before you’re kissing him back. The softness of your lips against his and the brush of your tongue. The sigh in your voice and the tilt of your head. It’s so seamless and sweet and safe. JJ feels safe here, with you. He feels like all the shit doesn’t matter. He feels like sober might actually be synonymous with happiness, with you. When he lies you down on the sofa, JJ doesn’t want to leave this room, this house, or Kildare. He wants to stay here, worshipping you, breathing you in until you consume all of his senses, because after five years, nothing has made him feel as alive as this. As you.

Everything is a wonderful illusion of being rushed and well-paced all at once. He revels in the way your skin gives gently beneath the scrape of his teeth. When he sucks at your throat, the skin is so delicate, and this close to you JJ can smell nothing but your perfume. He wants to fucking drown in it.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he pants. You’re gasping too. Fingers sliding through his hair, down his sides, along his face.

“I missed you,” you whine.

And that phrase gets repeated over and over like a mantra or a prayer. He hears himself whispering it against your skin with every button he undoes on your blouse. Basks in the sound of your voice, older and mature but still you, as you say it whilst pushing his dress shirt off his shoulder.

There’s a stalling pause when his fingers finish tracing down your stomach to your pants. You seem to notice it. Your hand comes to his face and thumbs at his cheek. They’re still sticky from dried tears.

“JJ,” you whisper, coaxing his attention back to your face. You’re glowing. You’re happy, you’re healthy, and you’re here. “It’s okay.” Nodding, you repeat. “It’s okay.”

Then, he watches your own fingers land on the button of your pants, slowly undoing it. Then the other and the third until they’re lose. He watches you wriggle out of them, pulling them down, struggling somewhat from the tight position on the sofa. Watches the scars emerge, faint but clear, and how they grow and spread like ivy on the side of a house. They merge with the cellulite and stretch marks. With a random bruise you must’ve gotten from hitting your leg on the table the other day. They’re a part of you – plain and simple. At the knee, there’s the connection for your prosthetic right leg. Once your trousers are off, JJ finds himself reaching out to touch it. This thing that he was partly responsible for, this marvel of medicine, the reason you can walk. He loves it and hates it desperately all at once. Glancing back up to your face, you’re watching him just as carefully as he was watching you. But you’re smiling.

“You’re okay,” JJ finds himself saying quietly. Because you are. You’re here, laying almost bare before him, just like you had years before.

“It’s rude to make a girl wait, JJ,” you tease.

With that, JJ’s smile is blossoming back like the returning of spring flowers following a brutal winter. He leans forward and catches himself above you with his arms, kissing you like you’re all the oxygen in the world. Your left leg rubs at his calf, still covered by his trousers, and you giggle against his mouth.

“Fuck, I missed this,” you say. “I missed you.”

“How much?”

“So much,” you say.

“Oh yeah? What’d you miss?” JJ persists, kissing down your neck.

“Your mouth,” you say through a moan. His hands slip behind your back and unclasp your bra. You arch your back enough for him to tug it off.

“My mouth?” he wonders, breathing it against your skin. You’re practically writhing. JJ laughs. “What about my mouth?”

“Don’t be a jackass, JJ,” you mutter.

“You want my mouth?”

“Yes,” you quietly beg.

“You do?” he checks, kissing over your breast, sucking at your nipple. “Where do you want it?”

“You fucking know where,” you sigh, impatience shining through.

He grins at the sudden hitch of your moan as he softly nips at the sensitive skin around your nipple. Then he’s kissing down your stomach until finally his fingers hook into the sides of your panties. He slowly, tauntingly, pulls them down. You kick them off at the ankles, a clear act of frustration, and he bites back his laugh.

“What? Here?” JJ plants a kiss to your hipbone. “You want my mouth here? Or…”

Another kiss, to your pelvic bone.

“Here?”

“Fuck you, Maybank.”

“You wanna?”

“I swear to fucking God,” you huff, laughing through the annoyance.

With that, JJ settles himself between your legs and praises you like you deserve to be. The noises you make are downright evil, considering he can do nothing about it and has to hold it together. You taste so familiar on his tongue.

“Fucking missed you,” he groans against you.

When he sucks on your clit, your hands latch into his hair. Your back is arching and you’re gasping and panting and desperate, and JJ feels like a young God. Pulling back, he slips a finger into your hole and it welcomes him so easily. He cusses at how wet you are.

“Come on baby. Come on, I know you’re close.”

The tells of your body haven’t changed since the last time you two were in this position. The way your mouth hangs open in a silent moan when you fall over the edge is so surreal to see after five years apart. He feels you spasms around him and basks in the scratch of your nails against his scalp as you try to ground yourself. He hardly has time to suck his fingers clean before your pulling his mouth to yours and kissing him stupid.

“Fucking missed you,” you repeat against his mouth, making him laugh. “Nobody fucks me as good as you.”

“Jesus Christ, you can’t say shit like that,” JJ chuckles. “Won’t last.”

“Don’t care,” you say. “Only thing bigger than your ego is your dick.”

JJ can’t help but laugh at that. He loves your giggles in response. And then your hands are shoving at his trousers and the humour is gone, replaced with nothing but raw lust and desperation. There’s nothing performative about it, when the two of you hurry to strip his clothes away as soon as possible. He takes note to get his socks off. You’d always had a weird thing about it, sex in socks, and nothing was going to taint this night. Not after so long.

Being inside you…JJ missed it more than all the alcohol and weed in the world. Nothing compared to the feeling of you clenching around him. The vice of your leg hitched up and over his back as he grips into your thigh, mean and firm, perfecting the angle. The senseless, endless whines falling from your agape mouth, eyes closed tight, lost in the feeling of it. JJ wants nothing to be less than perfect for you, for this. Every stroke, every kiss, every clench of his fingers…it all has to be perfect. He knows when you’re close and he’s more than fucking relieved. It’s taking everything in him not to come. He needs you to fall over the edge first.

“Do the thing,” you whine. “Do the thing, John.”

With that, JJ remembers five years back, to late nights and later mornings spent rolling in bed with you. He bites into his lip, holding back his shit-eating grin as the memories flood back, and he leans forward to your ear. Gently taking the lobe within his teeth, he croons into the shell of your ear.

“That’s my good fucking girl.”

And finally, you fall apart, taking JJ with you like you always would.

When the high finally passes and the endorphins settle down, the two of you are laying on the sofa, only covered by a throw blanket JJ had dragged down from the back of the sofa. You’ve somehow shuffled so you’re laying mostly atop of him. His arms are locked around your damp stomach like a vice, nose nestled into your hair, just behind your ear, breathing you in with every inhale.

“Will you stay in Kildare, just for a short while? For me?”

JJ wants to laugh but he knows how wrong that would be in this moment. The humour doesn’t come from the question, but from the notion that he’d leave after finally having you back in his life, safe and happy, after five long years.

“Anything,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against your hair. Anything for you.

“You look like shit by the way,” JJ says.

His hands are warm in his cargo pant pockets. Head tilted down and gaze steady, he sighs.

“Guess you didn’t have chance to clean up though, right?”

Shockingly, the gravestone says nothing back. Well, says nothing asides form Luke Maybank in barely legible font.

It still feels surreal, that his dad is gone. That they’d never remedy anything, or even attempt to fix their relationship. That JJ wouldn’t be able to face him and show him what he’d become. How he’d risen past it all and grown from the pain and the agony. That he’d taken the shitty hand that he was dealt and turned it into nothing but flushes and full houses. That he hadn’t grown into a petty criminal or a tax-evading lowlife, but a strong, good-willed, well-intentioned man. The thought, bittersweet at heart, makes him smile.

“I’m happy dad. I know you probably hate that, being dead and all, but I am.”

As if on cue, there’s the high pitch giggles from afar that catch JJ’s attention. He glances over to spot you and your wonderful mini-you, sitting on your shoulders, waving at him. He waves back, small and short, smiling.

“I’m glad you never met her,” JJ tells his dad, never tearing his eyes away from the pair of you. You ease her off your shoulders and take her hand, pointing to a small bed of daffodils. “I was so scared I’d be bad at this. I was so scared that I’d be like you.”

She’s so fragile as she picks a flower free from the bunch, holding it by the stem, up to you. You nod and presumably smile in approval.

“But I’ll never be like you. She’ll never know what it feels like to live in fear,” JJ states, firmly. He looks back down to the grave. “I’m not your mistakes, and I’m not mine.”

He lowers to a squat and wipes some of the dirt off the stone, revealing the dates. “Happy birthday, dad. You suck, and I hope you’re finally at peace.”

“Daddy, daddy…”

There’s an insistent tug at his jacket sleeve. JJ smiles and looks down at the best mistake he ever made. Mistake is a strong word. ‘Oops, I think is better’, you’d said when you first showed him the pregnancy test.

“What’s up, bub?”

“I found this flower. Can I give it to papa?”

JJ takes the daffodil and glances to the grave. A brief moment of anger passes over him like the breeze of winter. He doesn’t deserve this. He isn’t your papa. I’m glad he’s dead. But he closes his eyes and breathes. Your hand squeezing gently at his shoulder tells him you’re there. It helps ground him.

“Yeah, bub. I think that’d be nice,” he smiles, handing it back.

She giggles as she puts it on the grass just before the stone. Her laughter is brighter and louder still when JJ scoops her up as he stands, looping her around him until she’s a backpack.

“You wanna get ice cream?”

“Hell yeah,” you whoop.

“Hell yeah!” mini-you copies. JJ laughs.

“Alrighty, lets go.”

As the three of you make the small walk back to the car, you intertwine your fingers with JJ’s, holding his hand tight and secure. JJ takes one last glance back at the gravestone. It all began here, in a way, the re-introduction to a life he thought he’d lost. Perhaps the nicest thing JJ’s dad ever did, the kindest act he ever performed, was dying. Perhaps that was his way of paying him back for all the crap he gave.

“Hey.”

JJ glances down at you.

“You okay?”

He smiles. Then, he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

Everything is going to be okay.

#JJ #JJ Maybank #JJ x reader #JJ Maybank x reader #jj x oc #jj maybank x oc #outer banks #outerbanks #outer banks jj #outerbanks jj #outer banks jj x reader #outerbanks jj x reader #outer banks fic #outerbanks fic

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belphieslavenderscentedpillow · 3 months

Text

Obey me Boys as students

Thank you for the love on my other posts, every reblog, note and follower is appreciated!

Also feel free to request something!

This is more of a human high school AU, so there is more human talk than devildom.

There is a bit of Nsfw in asmodeus part, but other than that it’s pretty fluffy/maybe crack?

Lucifer

Straight A student, what did you expect?!?

But I’ll tell you, he’s honestly kind of annoying to be in a class with

He’s such a suck up without even ACTUALLY TRYING to be a suck up

When the teacher makes a mistake he 100% corrects them with no shame

But he’s still somehow a teachers pet

People hate him because they wanna be him fr fr

I honestly don’t think he’s naturally academically intelligent like belphegor or interested in subjects like Satan

The only reason why he actually tries is probably because he thinks failing academically is embarrassing

That being said I think he’s a hardworker, always practicing and learning

Definitely pulls all nighters regularly to finish assignments

Favourite subject is probably physics like a granddaddy

Has a very simplistic pencilcase in black with an ink pen

Mammon

Literal class clown

HE is the reason why class is low key fun

Everyone keeps saying he’s annoying but high key miss him when he’s not there

That being said he’s incredibly charismatic

I think he’s got lots of friends in class cause he’s super easy to be around and he’s funny asf

he’s probably one of the kids on the teachers “hate list”

Literally always gets picked on from teachers

Always goes red when they point out his mistakes but he turns it into a joke

I think he’s an average student but is crazy good at like music or something artsy

He’s that one kid who always ALWAYS forgets his stuff

If he’s lucky he might have a chewed up pen somewhere in his bag (maybe)

He’s definitely a pen biter you cannot change my mind

Leviathan

Oh boy

He’s a very shy kid, and honestly most people forget he’s there

Even the teachers which is kind of a good thing honestly

He sits in the back of the class and does his work calmly

Never talks like NEVER

Probably has one good friend in ONE class who he goofs off with but I think that’s honestly it

That being said there’s def some type of popular demon crushing on him

He has potential to be above average academically but I don’t think he cares enough

I think his favourite subject is art because he gets to practice drawing boobs I mean he gets to practice anatomy

Has a bunch of cool stationary from animes

Definitely has some sanrio type of stationary that he NEVER shares

Satan

A student that gives 110%

He would literally be the perfect student because he has this amazing combination of politeness, academic intelligence and actual academic INTEREST

would be if he didn’t absolutely despise all of the teachers

He knows more than the teachers so sitting in class is incredibly boring to him

Thinks the teachers have no teaching ability and knows he could teach this class better than them

He is such a good student for being such a bad student if you get what I mean

Super organized but not at all at the same time

Polite but disses the teachers- really it depends on the day

He loves all subjects but I think he’s a biology or maybe a literature guy wink wink

someone hc him to send answers in the groupchat while cussing them out- that is 100% Satan

He‘s probably super popular I mean, smart, pretty and a romantic- can’t get better than that! (Well lets skip over the anger issues)

Asmodeus

Your residential play boy/fuck boy!

But just add sweetness to the mix; like he makes sure the person knows his intentions before starting anything with him

That cute boy in class that has a bunch of friends and is super popular for an ACTUAL reason

He does literally EVERYTHING but pay attention

He‘s still a teachers pet though

Probably fucked a teacher to get through the year

Has a bunch of stationary and has really pretty notes even if he doesn’t know what anything means

His favourite subject is probably geography or design (art)

Beelzebub

Jock. What more is there to say?

He‘s not your typical jock, cause unlike all the other jocks he’s actually humble

(The sport bring fangol obvi)

That being said he’s crazy popular, because he’s athletic, cute, sweet, friendly and humble

People are all over him all. The. Time.

Yeah sure he might not have a whole bunch of brains and his grades are below average but at least he’s cute right???????

Yeah he’s not much of a academic person, like AT ALL- he only likes PE, maybe a little bit of art (cause it’s easy)

The teachers surprisingly don’t really care all that much about him- just a random student 🤷‍♀️

Belphegor

This little shit

He‘s that kid who is a genius for no reason what so ever

He reads the paragraph once and never again and still gets an A++++

He barely pays attention in class, skips like 60% of the time and still rivals Satan

Lucifer and Satan get pissy about it because he doesn’t even TRY

His fav subject is math because it’s just understanding a few rules and that’s it

His favourite saying is „mathematicians are lazy“, please tell me your teachers told you this too

He is so charming for no reason, and that makes him a little shit

All he has to do is smile and the person just melts

That being said a smile from him takes a lot of effort

He never takes his stuff to school so he just asks another person and they never hesitate to give him stuff

Teachers just don’t care about him since he barely shows up anyway 💀

Diavolo

Literally cannot focus in school

He‘s like a jock mixed with student body- super charismatic, super hot and reallyyyy popular

He‘s that one friend who has like a gazillion friends and says hi to someone every 2 minutes

But when he’s in class he cannot focus to save his life

At home he’s a mashine- finishing task after task but in school he gets distracted over every little thing

He has so many expensive items, shoes, pants, stationary EVEN HIS SOCKS

Nr.1 crush for literally anyone

Favorite subject is any social subject really

He‘s a pretty average student but his teamwork ability make him stand out

Teachers gossip about other students to him 😃

Barbatos

Straight A student, no one knows his methods

Diavolo is his best friend even if they are polar opposites

Very well liked, by students, teachers but he only willingly talks to diavolo and his crush we all know who wink wink

Very well organised, always has his stuff

Even the way he wears his uniform is neat

He‘s so mysterious…… which makes him kind of hot honestly

He probably doesn’t care about the attention though

Simeon

Ugh literally the perfect student

Smart, kind and charismatic

Literally a teachers pet

Probably is in a whole bunch of clubs

I could totally see him in the drama club

Favorite subjects; drama and literature

He probably reads shakespear in his lunch breaks

He never cusses in class- even when the teacher gets on everyone’s nerves

He has so many friends! Seriously it’s hard not to like him

That being said his weakness is computer science

Yeah not really his strong suit

Luke

Poor baby gets teased relentlessly

He is super cute though

is such a sweetheart genuinely

Don’t be mistaken if anyone actually has the guts to bully him, his 11 family members are ought to get them

He works really hard to get good grades and make Micheal and Simeon proud!

He‘s in the baking club and his favourite subject is probably science honestly

Solomon

This little shit (#2)

He‘s such a mixed bag of different student traits

He‘s lazy, but hard working

Social but introverted

Super popular but gets hated on

His favourite subject is science specifically chemistry

If you are in his chemistry class he‘ll pull some chemistry pick up lines to annoy you

He‘s also in the baking club which makes Luke get cold sweats every night

Also a huge shoutout to @kkeromenoo , thank you for the love!! Sadly I can’t respond to the comments 😭 someone pls tell me how it works..

I just also wanted to say sorry for the fact that 1) this post took so long and 2) some of the characters are shorter. Probably will edit this later, but again hope you enjoyed!

Proofread!

All credits go to @belphieslavenderscentedpillow

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mins-fins · 1 month

Text

junie.

&&. it's all platonic, it's all platonic between the two of you, you swear.

pairing: na jaemin x gn!reader

genre: fluff fluff

warnings: none!

word count: 1k

notes: i hope everyone knows which album the title of this little (1000 word) drabble comes from, i love solange sm her music HITS <33 anyway i am so mortifyingly in love with na jaemin like i have no idea why a MAN is doing this to me or where this little nana obsession of mine is coming from but i have so many drafts for him like AUSGSHS NA JAEMIN 😭😭💔💔 okay um enjoy this horrible piece of writing and dont throw up trying to read it

your feeling something beyond exhaustion.

light is permeating through the room, but it's unfortunately not relaxed. you feel like your eyelids got attacked the moment you tried to open them, and you quickly close them the moment the light entering in through the curtain tries to blind you. you have to wake up, the little voice in your brain coming up every few minutes to remind you that you have to sit up any minute now.

but your feeling too tired, you got chased around by a bunch of kids yesterday and your classes lasted much longer than they had to. you press your face into your pillow and groan, knowing that sleep won't be able to take you away again now that your up.

there are bundles of covers on top of you, a blanket wrapped around your waist along with the duvet coming apart. you shift around, hearing the sound of you moving against the bed as you do. you quickly throw the blanket off you, and though this would usually be the time you stretched your limbs, you have absolutely no remaining energy.

when you shift again, your elbow makes contact with something, well, someone. the contact warrants a reluctant peek of your head, face scrunched up in your lethargy as you identify the special someone your elbow had accidentally hit. jaemin, fast asleep, face half turned into a pillow as he snores silently, fingers lightly caressing the material he lays on. a few question marks appear in your head, you don't remember jaemin being here, when you went to sleep, jaemin wasn't even home.

you're guessing he was much too tired from his shift to walk all the way to his room, and just wandered into room to crash down onto your bed. even if you were awake, you wouldn't be able to deny jaemin begging for you two to share a bed, he's done that and succeeded more times than you can count.

"jaem" you call out, lightly poking his cheek with your finger, a small flick against his face, but it doesn't even make him stir.

this sight of him is enough to make you opt out of a second try. his hair is messy, probably from his nightly tosses and turns, some strands sticking to his face, whilst other strands look like they're about to jump off his scalp. he looks peaceful, with the light from the window shining of his face, the way he's sleeping makes him look serene. you'd feel bad for waking him up in this state.

your staring, it's hard not to. he's much quieter today, the usual loud snores you'd hear from jaemin now resorted to nothing but silent breaths in and out. when his eyes suddenly open, you almost jump back, surprised by him now being awake when you thought he was sleeping the whole time. did he know you were staring? your face already burns at the thought. he only gives you a short smile, turning over and stretching his limbs with a yawn.

"good morning" you whisper.

"morning" he rasps back.

you try to ignore the way your stomach flips at his voice, clearing your throat and sighing. "move over" you request, immediately rolling over onto your back upon jaemin's obedience. even with how you told jaemin to move over, he still scoots a little closer, finger reaching over to begin grazing over your shirt.

you lightly flinch at the touch, because your shirt is thin and his index finger is cold, but you don't push him away, just let him do what he's doing. he sighs lightly, moving closer and draping his arm around your waist, he immediately closes the space between you two, and you can feel his breath on your neck.

"what are you doing?" you somehow have enough voice to ask.

"getting extra sleep" he mutters, tucking his face into your neck as he takes in another deep breath. his arm on your waist, which had previously only been lying there, moves to wrap around and trap you in a suddenly strong hold.

"jaem i have to get up".

the words don't get anything but a small grunt out of jaemin, who leaves you trapped under his vice grip. you groan, tired of your stubborn roommate, and try your best to lift yourself up, you have to get out of bed now, but jaemin just drops you back down, eliciting a small yelp out of you.

"jaemin?"

"hm?" he cracks one eye open, loosening the tight grip he has on your waist as his fingers begin caressing the skin under your shirt, his fingers are still cold, and you try your best not jump from the way they seem to make goosebumps appear on your skin.

"i have to get up" you grumble, you look at him like he's some sort of crazy person. jaemin snickers, lightly pinching your waist, making you wince at the sheer freezing temperature of his fingers. "na jaemin seriously—"

"it's saturday, just a few more minutes" he states, a small chuckle added to his words. "you don't have anywhere to be, your shift starts at two".

"i at least have to go brush my teeth" you turn to him, giving him your best begging eyes. you don't even realize the lack of space between you two, your so close to jaemin that you can feel his breath on your face, you can see every pore, mole, and tiny scar up close, you could kiss jaemin right now if you got pushed.

wait— why are you thinking about kissing your roommate? you haven't even brushed your teeth yet, your breath is probably going to smell gross and it won't taste nice, but everything with jaemin seems nice. you wonder if those pretty pink lips live up to the rumors (and the fantasies, wait what?), you'd think it'd be nice to try.

jaemin gives you a deadpanned look, but he rolls over anyway, finally freeing you from his grasp. "fine then, go brush your teeth, weirdo".

that's all jaemin says before he slips out of your bed, blowing you a kiss and leaving your room.

you watch him leave, now filled with a bunch of confusing feelings.

are you in love with your roommate? no.. you can't be.

but then again, you wouldn't be surprised if you even fell for the charms of na jaemin.

#na jaemin #nct #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream x reader #jaemin imagines #jaemin drabbles #jaemin scenarios #jaemin x reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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elli3luvs · 1 year

Note

good girl reader x bad girl dealer ellie? I feel like it would be rlly cute

a/n: love this so much! i agree it would be really cute omfg thank you so much for requesting! i will keep my requests open until probably friday or so so request if you want to <33

all ellie knew since she got into college was to deal. she had one singular retail job, quit in the middle of her shift, and never went back

through the years it has hardened her exterior a little bit

having to deal with gruff men who would sometimes try to get handsy called for her to toughen up

it wasn't uncommon for her to have to yell and swing on some of the men that try to buy from her

some men see her skinny frame and don't think she has muscles

she's shown them

her least favorite place to deal was hands down parties

she got a lot of clients during the party, college kids wanting to smoke away their stress but she hated the way they tripped over themselves

they would rarely buy anything more expensive than 30 dollars so she wasn't turning a huge profit but it was better than nothing

if she had to deal with another frat boy trying to get weed free by "seducing" her she was going to throw up

she was leaning up against the counter in the kitchen, red cup filled with some sort of concoction when her eyes met yours

you were already looking

how could you not look at the mysterious dealer who barely even talked to their customers

she always fascinated you as you have seen her a couple times around campus

you were too shy to say anything though because of her gruff appearance

there was no point either since you didn't smoke

her eyebrows quirked up when she took in your features

"you're pretty." she mouthed from across the way

your cheeks flushed

you shook your head, "you're prettier." you mouthed back

she laughed and you wished you were closer so you could hear it

you bet it was a beautiful sound

after a brief battle with your anxieties you decided to go closer

when you got next to her she leaned down a bit, "you buying?"

you look up at her, "i don't smoke!" you hollered over the music

she patted your shoulder, "don't start!" she yelled back

that's how it started between the two of you

ever since that moment if you passed each other on the street, walking to your respective classes, you would wave or smile at each other

ellie thought the way you carried yourself was so endearing

the backpack sitting high on your back, clothes that covered every part of you, and hair always sitting perfectly

when she passed you she could always catch a faint hint of strawberries and something like sugar or cookies

it made her smile everytime

but you loved the way ellie looked even more

disheveled, hair sticking every which way, and backpack hanging open leaving a trail of papers behind her

eyes always a kind of hazy red

it was very attractive to someone who has been around only uptight people her whole life

the first time you saw her yell at someone it made your attractive toward her grow even further

it was another party and as soon as you spotted her, you walked up

"you sell?" she turned around while nodding her head until she realized it was you

she pushed your shoulder, "not to you!" the music bumped in your ears loudly as the two of you shared a laugh

you were right, it was a gorgeous sound

thank god you were close enough to sort of hear it this time

she pointed at your drink, "what's that?"

you stood on your tiptoes so she could hear you, "water! i don't like drinking!"

she smiled at your response, "good girl! why do you come to these things?"

"to see you!" it was a half-truth, half-lie

she rolled her eyes at the flirty remark but you could see blush creeping up, "yeah right!"

"my roommate-"

you went to tell her the truth when a guy walked up to her, speaking to her in a low voice, shoving a 20 her way

she pulled out a bag and handed it off to him without much of an interaction

the issue is when he caught your eye and smiled creepily

"how much for an hour with you, sweet girl?" he grabbed your arm roughly

you wince at the calloused feeling of his hands on your arm, trying to pull away but his muscles overpowering you

before he could get much farther with you, ellie's tattooed forearm shot into view

"get the fuck off of her!" her voice was loud and rough, lips curled in disgust at the man

he scoffed, "what are you gonna do about it?"

she shoved him harshly, "i'll fucking kill you."

before you could register what was even happening, she was on top of him slamming her fist against his greasy face over and over

a hoard of frat boys broke it up shortly after

you were in the bathroom sitting on the marble counter with her in between your legs

you looked over her arms and face to make sure he didn't catch her in any way

her knuckles were bloodied and she was shaking a little bit from the adrenaline

"you didn't have to do that." you whispered, feeling guilty that she had to do that for you

she smirked, "of course i did."

"i can handle myself. i'm a big girl!" she outwardly laughed at your words

"a big girl, huh?" she leans forward, arms now caging you to the counter, "you don't drink or smoke. always going to class. studying... i bet you can't even lift 5 pounds. i had to make sure you were alright."

you bite your lip, "thank you."

the start was slow but you fell for her harder and harder every day

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams scenario #ellie headcanons #ellie williams headcanons

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calumsargwife · 9 months

Text

"You Are In Love"

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: the journey of how you and Calum found out you are in love.

warnings: use of cigarettes and mentions of alcohol, a little bit of bad language (if i let something out let me know!)

word count: 4.7k (damn)

note: well this one is completely based on the song from You Are In Love by Taylor Swift. i know it took a while but here it is, it's the longest i've ever written. i don't know if someone's gonna read this since it's so long but since you guys seemed to like the first one i wrote i decided to post this one. i never wrote something like this, so i hope you like it!! (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

One look, dark room. Meant just for you. Time moved too fast. You play it back. Light-hearted joke. No proof, not much. But you saw enough.

It was one of the many parties that took place at Ashton's house, people gathering for some reason to celebrate. The man honestly loved being the host, always making sure all of his guests were having a good time. The house was in a homely atmosphere (something Ashton always made sure was there), there was a little alcohol involved but nothing too crazy, the music was just the right volume and it was something everyone could dance to. There was good food and probably some fun board game that would make everyone a little more drunk.

It had all started about an hour ago when Calum decided to show up. It was cold, a November night where despite the weeks in advance, you could already feel the Christmas spirit.

Calum would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He was going to see you after the last date you two had. Before knocking on the door of the house, he briefly remembered the last outing that you shared, it was incredible.

After so long Calum had finally dared to confess his feelings for you, one of his best friends in the whole world. And you, who was completely surrendered at the boy's feet, said that you felt the same. You two met five years ago and connected instantly, not knowing how or why but it happened and both of you were so happy, you felt that the time you had with each other was never enough to stop being surprised. Being friends first had given the two of them a kind of comfort like no other.

And that's how it was, in the last few weeks you shared several dates and everything was going great, you already knew each other but with all this that was happening, you learned even more things. Everything was getting more serious and Calum was scared, but he liked it.

Once inside the house, Calum took off his coat and scanned the room looking to meet your eyes, and the moment that happened, he gave you a look that was meant only for you. A look that Calum only saved for when he looked at you. A look that made you blush in the best way.

However, Calum quickly found himself being greeted by his friends. You sighed but didn't complain, you repeated in your mind the moment in which your eyes connected and you couldn't help but feel how your breathing stopped slightly because of those eyes that you had learned to love so much in this last few years.

It all ended up being just a quick glance. The night continued and after a while, you ran into Calum (well, he ran into you). He was wearing a black shirt that accentuated his figure perfectly, you would have loved to take him in your arms at that very moment. He knew that, he had worn this shirt because he knew you would like it.

You met about an hour after Calum had arrived, he was having a good time with his friends but at some point he felt that they were holding him back too much from being able to have a chat with you. 'Who am I kidding?' That was the first thing he thought when he saw you again, Calum had been wanting to talk to you all night. You were turning your back on him while looking at the big city from the balcony of the apartment. You had on a beautiful black silk dress, it left your back bare, something that drove Calum crazy.

"Missing me already?" Calum joked after he finally found you alone "I bet you're getting bored without me." He assured in a teasing tone. He approached you and analyzed you, you were wearing a gold necklace and your nails were painted red, you held a glass with some alcohol. His hand gently brushed your arm and you could feel an electrifying touch that woke up every fiber inside you. You love how he makes you feel.

You rolled your eyes playfully at his very confident statement. "I was getting along pretty well without you, actually." You smiled and looked sincerely into his eyes this time. "I missed you." You could see how his eyes were filled with intrigue at what you had said, waiting for a reconfirmation. "I really did."

Calum smiled sweetly and couldn't help but look away from your beautiful eyes for a second to calm down. He really didn't want to blush right now. "Well, I'm glad. I've been thinking about you all night."

It might seem like a simple thing but it really makes you happy to hear that he thought of you the same way you thought of him. You liked knowing you were on his mind.

Small talk, he drives. Coffee at midnight. The light reflects. The chain on your neck. He says, "Look up". And your shoulders brush. No proof, one touch. But you felt enough.

Of course your night didn't end there. Calum proposed that you spend the night at his house and you immediately said yes. The truth is that the time you had spent at the party had not been enough for you two.

You felt a kind of excitement as Calum drove home. You guys weren't talking much in the car, the background music set the mood perfectly and you didn't need anything to talk about either. Small talk was enough to keep you entertained along the way.

Once at Calum's house, you guys set about relaxing. Still formally dressed, you were sitting in the chair that Calum had located on the terrace of his apartment. A perfect place to look at the stars.

Two cups of coffee at midnight, one for you and one for Calum. Drinking coffee gives you the little hope that you could stay up longer just to spend more time together, because it wasn't enough, it was never enough. You two loved to talk, you always had something to talk about and it never got boring. Maybe at some point you didn't have a topic of conversation, but you guys invented something so you could have an excuse to be together. Because it wasn't enough. Calum didn't know how to explain this insatiable feeling of wanting to always be chatting with you, something that really surprised him since he was normally a person who enjoyed silence.

You smiled sweetly at something Calum had said and looked away from him so you could look at your phone for a few seconds to see the time. It was half past twelve at night, already entering the early morning. You smiled to yourself at the feeling of being calm with the boy you liked.

You were wearing a gold chain with a 'C' charm on it, a cheesy and stupid gift Calum had given you for your birthday a couple of years ago. He could appreciate how it shone in the moonlight.

Speaking of the moon, Calum realized that it was at its highest point. He looked at you and spoke to you softly, since you were still looking at your cell phone. He said "Look up" and you immediately looked up from your device. You settled into the chair with the cup of coffee in your hand and you felt how his shoulder lightly brushed against yours.

And that was it. That was enough to know what you felt.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you.

Calum was fully focused on the moon, leaving you a perfect view of his profile. The place was silent and you could still clearly hear the feeling that you now knew you had. You were afraid of being stunned by this, but actually, the opposite happened, it was all you wanted to hear.

It was so clear, so loud and so strong. You felt a pressure in your chest, that pressure was just letting you know that what you were feeling was actually true. Your insides were full of heartwarming thoughts in just a second, but you loved every single second of it.

The fact that the place was completely silent and that Calum had no idea what you were thinking about added a bit of fun to all this, if only he knew.

You were completely immersed in this new sensation, which was leaving you completely cut off from all the other things that might be going on around you.

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You returned home only the next day in the afternoon, the sky was beginning to darken. After a little argument about Calum wanting to take you home and you saying it wasn't necessary, you were finally making your way home on your own. You wanted to get some air and think about what had been revealed to you last night.

As you walked home you could feel the refreshing air in your hair and in your arms. You clung a little more to Calum's sweatshirt.

And that pressure in your chest came back. You've never liked a sensation so much. You couldn't help but smile in love as you looked at the scenery around you. The night was beginning for some.

You loved him. You loved Calum. You love him.

You just couldn't believe it. The idea of falling in love for you was something that was long gone and not something you expected to find again. You especially didn't expect to fall in love with Calum.

But at the same time you were not surprised. Loving Calum was so easy, he was just perfect. You couldn't not love him. He made it look so easy. And you loved loving him, it was something that just filled you up inside and you were so happy that the person you love is Calum.

You continued walking down what would soon be a dark street. Focusing on the sound of your shoes or how the things you found on the way home reminded you of him. Everything reminded you of him.

You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love.

Once you got home you closed the front door and leaned your back against it. You sighed while smiling. The whole room was dark, the lights still not on.

In one of the furniture where you had photos with your friends you came to distinguish your favorite photo of the whole house. It was a photo of you and Calum hugging in front of the stage where he and the boys were going to give their show later. There were hours left for the concert and you took advantage of the moment to take pictures. You smiled to yourself remembering.

God, you are in love.

Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt. He keeps his word.

It was a Sunday morning at Calum's house. The night before for the two of you had been magical. The two of you hadn't felt this connection with someone in a long time and you knew it.

You were lying on the bed, giving each other lazy kisses on the lips, on the neck, on the cheeks, on the arms, everywhere. Calum wanted to kiss every inch of you.

Calum sighed and moved slightly away from you. "I'm gonna make us breakfast, okay?" He said to then give you one last kiss on the cheek while inhaling your sweet perfume.

"Okay" You replied with a goofy smile as you watched him go to the kitchen.

A little later you stretched one last time and got out of bed too, looking for something to wear. You looked at one of the shirts Calum wears to train, you decided on a navy blue one.

As you walked to the kitchen you remembered what Calum had told you before you guys fell asleep. "I'll be here in the morning." And he kept his word, he was there. You looked at him before entering the kitchen, he was making coffee and toast for the two of you.

"The coffee smells good." You said as you walk into the kitchen. Brushing his arm with your hand when you passed by.

"I hope it tastes just as good as it smells." He answered with a smile without turning to look at you yet, taking another slice of bread to toast.

You chuckled softly, remembering the times Calum had been disappointed in how his own coffee turned out.

At the sound of your laughter Calum turned and looked at you. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of you in his shirt, admiring how well it looked on you. He would be lying if he said he doesn't want that to be his sight every morning. He loved having you in all his everyday things.

"That color suits you." He said admiring you while he wrapped his arms around your waist and left you a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you." You answered while looking away so that your blush is not so obvious.

Calum chuckled very softly, keeping the smile on his face. He tucked one of the hairs that was on your face behind your ear and that made you turn your head to look at him.

Calum couldn't help but get completely lost in your eyes, it was something that completely mesmerized him and he knew it, he always knew it. From the moment he met you, your eyes were what he liked the most about you.

You were also completely lost by him, admiring the details of his face, seeing how there was a slight beard on his jaw, something that you knew he was going to shave later. You analyzed the small freckles around his nose, they had appeared after spending a day in the sun at the beach with his friends.

Then you raised your eyes to his and they stayed that way, looking at each other. Calum absolutely watching every move you made, admiring everything.

You don't know how long you stayed like that until you could smell the burnt smell of toast and Calum's scared face, who broke away from you in a second and immediately went to see the toaster.

A moment later he turned around and looked at you with a pout. "They burned."

Let out a laugh and you approached to give him a kiss on his pout. "We can make pancakes." You proposed with a sweet smile.

Calum smiled, completely melting at your smile. "We can, but none of those cute little eyes of yours when I'm cooking. I don't want burnt pancakes."

And for once, you let go. Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much. But it said enough.

Today was the day. 5 Seconds of Summer would release a new song. One that Calum personally wrote. And to say that the boy was nervous was an understatement.

He was feeling very scared for some reason. He didn't understand why. This song was beautiful and he was very proud of it, it was also an extremely vulnerable song that had taken him months to write, he was afraid of looking too fragile in the public eye and that people might not like it.

To be honest, it's a song he wrote for you, although he doesn't know if you were aware of this. The song talked about what it was like to let someone into your heart again and how scared he was to suffer again and to let go of all those ghosts from the past that haunt him.

God, he was nervous.

The boys had proposed to meet up for the launch, but Calum declined, declaring that this time he'd rather stay at his house with you by his side.

You two were sitting on the terrace of Calum's house. He was smoking a cigarette for the nerves and you were having some vanilla tea (it was your favorite and Calum had bought it especially for you). His leg was bobbing up and down as a sign of his current anxiety. You put your hand on his thigh wanting him to stop and you looked at him with a little tenderness.

"Cal, what's going on? You've been very nervous for the last few hours." My God, Calum hated how well you could read him.

He never talks about this, with anyone. Talking about his feelings is something he struggles with a lot, always in the end transforming what happens to him into songs. But Calum knew that talking about this with you was the right thing to do, knowing that if he wants to be with you then he has to start trusting you with these kinds of things.

"It's just... It's been a while since I wrote something like that, y'know... I know I always write about past experiences but this song is about the two of us and I don't know..." Calum sighed trying to collect his thoughts. "I guess I'm afraid of looking weak in front of everyone, I guess, I don't know..." It made him angry that he couldn't tell you exactly what he was thinking, he didn't know what he was feeling at that moment.

"Calum, the song you wrote is great, it's vulnerable, yes, but that makes it even more meaningful. I think that's going to make people like it more, you know?" You caressed his leg in search of being able to give him comfort.

"I know, I know..." Calum prepared himself for what he was going to say, it seemed to him something very stupid and meaningless but he knew it was necessary. He took another drag on his cigarette and turned so he could look you in the eye. "I think it scares me that once you know how I really feel you're going to run from me." He explained with a slightly shaky voice.

You couldn't help feeling how your heart softened for him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned into it. You felt him visibly relax at your touch. "That's not gonna happen and you know it, right?"

He nodded as he studied your face with those sweet brown eyes of his. Calum didn't tell you but he really felt a weight less on his shoulders. He could feel how he was getting closer and closer to a certain feeling that he had been avoiding for a long time.

"I don't want to write a heartbroken song about you."

You kiss on sidewalks. You fight and you talk.

Calum loved walking with you down the street. Unlike his past relationships, this time he was not afraid to go out with you and show how much he liked you, he is not ashamed and wants to show the world who he's with.

But at the same time he wants to protect you, he doesn't like how public his life can be sometimes. He liked the feeling of his hands rubbing against yours when you are walking down a street with a lot of people, he liked having something just for him and that no one else can take it away from him.

His favorite part is when you're finally on some empty sidewalk and he can finally kiss you freely, he's dying to kiss you anywhere, but he knows that if he wants everything to remain as private as it is now, then he has to take certain precautions.

However, this has brought several discussions in the relationship.

"Why are you so angry?" Calum asked once he closed the door to his apartment, you glared at him a few feet from him.

"It annoys me that every time we walk into a room with the least amount of people, you immediately let go of my hand as if I were some kind of plague!" You knew why Calum was doing it but at the same time you couldn't help but get frustrated. Sometimes you wish Calum wasn't a public figure.

"I don't treat you like you're a plague! I just want to keep things between us!" Calum was frowning and breathing heavily.

"I understand that you want to have your private life but sometimes I feel that you exceed yourself! You don't want anyone to see us at all and it's tiring me!" You felt like a fool wanting to cry about this, but you couldn't help but make your eyes go glassy with anguish.

Calum sighed before answering, thinking about what he was going to tell you. The other day you guys had a fight over the exact same issue before going into a party. "If you know why I do it then why are you angry?!" He yelled at you, feeling how anger began to enter his body.

"Because sometimes it seems like you're ashamed of me!" You angrily yelled at him all your frustrations, trying to make him understand.

"You know that's not how I feel." He stated with a rather serious tone, you've never heard him talk like that.

"I would know how you feel if you would just tell me!" You are not going to deny that you felt a weight less after saying that. Calum always had trouble expressing his feelings but with such crucial things it was important that he tell you.

He clenched his jaw. "Are you always going to reproach me for the same thing? You know it's something I'm working on! It's not easy and yet you keep insisting!" Calum ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Of course I'm going to keep insisting if I don't see any change! It's always the same, I have to pressure you to tell me what's wrong with you and I don't want it to be like that anymore." You ran your hand under your eyeliner to wipe away a stubborn tear that had escaped. "I feel that you don't trust me to tell me your things and I don't know what I have to do anymore..." Now your face was covered by tears in a matter of seconds.

Calum completely collapsed seeing you cry. He quickly approached you and took your head in his hands to kiss your hair and then snuggle you against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right, sorry." He gave you small kisses on the temple in search of giving you comfort. "I'm sorry, you're right."

One night he wakes. Strange look on his face. Pauses, then says. 'You're my best friend'. And you knew what it was. He is in love.

It was another one of the nights where Calum stayed the night at your house. You two were asleep in your bed, snuggled up to each other, him being that natural warmer that he is.

Calum was lying on your chest, you were cuddling lying on your bed. About an hour ago he had fallen asleep after a tiring day in the studio with the boys. You, on the other hand, weren't sleepy, so you stayed on your phone, fooling around on social media.

Suddenly, you felt how he moved over you and how he began to wake up.

Calum moved off of you to lie next to you, he had a weird look on his face, you were trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Then he looked at you. "You're my best friend."

And you knew, you knew what was happening to him. He was in love. In love with you.

"You're my best friend too, Cal." You smiled sweetly at him and he could feel how he melted, your smiles always killed him in the best way. You put your hand on his jaw and brought him in for a sweet, passionate kiss, making sure it was one that would take his breath away.

"You're going to kill me one day." Calum hid his smile against your arm and blushed. You laughed and stroked his curls tenderly.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love.

It was days later where Calum was returning from the studio to his house, he was driving and found himself stuck in traffic. Too distracted thinking about you to be bothered by the number of cars.

You guys hadn't seen each other all week due to your respective jobs and he couldn't miss you more. It was night and not having the lights on inside the car made everything dark, his mind was too busy to put on music, so he enjoyed the silence there was.

Not getting you out of his head, he started humming your favorite song. Giving little taps on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

And that's when it hit him.

"Oh, shit." Calum stopped everything he was doing to focus on what he was thinking.

He couldn't help but think a 'really?'. Hell, he hadn't felt this in a long time.

Unconsciously his heart began to race. His head was going a thousand an hour and the only thing that appeared in his mind was your name.

He couldn't believe what he was feeling. A kind of pressure settled in his chest and he loved it. Calum couldn't help but smile as he ran his hands over his face and tried to hide the smile he had, even though no one was there to see it.

"I love her. I fucking love her." Calum declared as he looked out the window, the car in silence after his confession. He felt himself blushing even though no one had told him anything and how he had an incredible desire to see you.

And for the first time in his entire life, after so many broken hearts and failed relationships, Calum wasn't afraid to love. He didn't feel that irreparable fear that something was going to go wrong, he felt love, true love.

He used to be scared, so, so scared. Fear that leaving another relationship will leave him completely destroyed and without any hope of ever being loved again. Calum always had that feeling that perhaps he was destined to be alone, believing that this had been proven after so many situations in his past.

But everything changed when you arrived. From the first moment your eyes met, he knew that you had come to change his life. You became the light of his life in just a second and that scared him at first. But he didn't care, he thought if he had to have his heart broken for you then so be it. However, now he knew that it would not be like that, you were not going to leave and he knew that you were going to take care of his heart perfectly like no one had ever done before.

Calum was sure you were meant to be together.

Because he was in love.

And he wanted to believe in love for once.

#calum hood x reader #calum hood x y/n #calum x reader #calum blurb #calum imagine #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum hood #5sos x reader #5sos blurb #5sos fic #calum hood fluff #calum hood one shot #Spotify

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underoossss · 11 months

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What If’s -Miguel O’Hara

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem!reader

warnings: spoilers for across the spiderverse!!!! a couple of vampire jokes here and there. kissing, yearning, idk if those are warnings.

an: there’s no better character than miguel to write a wholesome hurt/comfort friends to lovers fic. this is my first time writing for him and I hope I did a good job lmao. let me know how I did!

★★★★

“I know I said I don’t mind your company.” Miguel’s voice reaches you from the platform he’s perched on in the middle of his lab. “But do you have to turn the volume up so loud?”

Your laugh echoes the room as you press a button twice to decrease the volume for a moment. “It helps me focus. Some of us have jobs aside from being a superhero you know.”

“Oh is saving the world not enough of a job for you?” Miguel’s eye-roll is clear in his tone and it makes you smile. “Perhaps you don’t know it but here we’re trying—”

“I know, I know, Twilight.” You wave him off over your shoulder. “What I mean is I like having a job, and I’m super smart so they let me work remotely.”

“All spider people are ‘super smart’ as you put it.” Miguel says, from somewhere behind you as you tap away on your laptop.

“Huh,” You fake surprise, then speak through a grin. “Here I thought I was the only one, good to know you’ve got a brain behind your broody eyes.”

Miguel’s breathy chuckle makes your heart jump, and you turn on your seat to catch the corner of his mouth lift in a half smile. Going back to the report you have to finish for your regular job, you turn the music up again and rest your feet on the desk in front of you. “I can feel you judging me, Twilight.”

“I am.” Miguel calls back to you and you smile.

There’s nothing that makes your body fill with warmth like Miguel. From being his most annoying spider recruit since the day you met —you saw he had fangs, and he never lived the vampire jokes down— your relationship has blossomed into a beautiful friendship over time. The kind of friendship where everything is easy around each other, where you anticipate the other’s needs, and the kind that started with sharing trauma. Both of you’ve lost many people, and it’s probably the reason why you cling to the other as much as you do. You’re a stubborn tangle in his hair and he's as present in your life as the breeze that hits your face when you’re swinging through the city. You bring out the best in each other —regardless of you annoying him every single day— and this deep connection you seem to have is most likely the one responsible for the lines between friendship and love to be so blurred between you. You’ve fought by his side multiple times, and you love it, but there’s nothing you love more than these quiet moments with him, where you just exist near each other, and everything feels right. Though you love seeing him in action, more often than not getting distracted by his ruthlessness, strength, and skill, you love doing simple things with him too. Miguel showing up to your place when you’re cooking dinner and refusing to dance along with you; Miguel getting coffee with you after much insistence to leave his desk; Miguel sighing at your bad jokes which only makes you laugh more; Miguel staying over at your place, his presence a warm reassurance that you’re safe.

Insistent pinging takes your mind away from its memories, and you’re quick to set your work aside and swing to the platform to see what’s going on. Lila has appeared over Miguel’s shoulder and is gesturing at the many alarms popping up on the yellow screens. A canonic event has been interrupted, a black hole has opened under the city of Mumbattan on earth 50101, Miles Morales —the Spider-Man Miguel’s been keeping tabs on for a while— is in that dimension for some reason, and there’s a multiverse-jumping anomaly on the loose.

Miguel’s face darkens, a mix of worry, fury, and tiredness forcing his features down into a deep frown. He pinches the bridge of his nose before talking to Lyla as he flips through the screens. “Tell Jessica to go to Earth 50101 and bring backup with her. We need to contain that black hole.”

“On it.” Lyla disappears for a moment before she’s back by Miguel’s side. “What else?”

“Bring Miles Morales to me.” He says, setting his hands on the table in front of him and looking at the screen that show’s Miles stopping the canonic event. “It’s time we stop this mess at its source.”

“Miguel?” Your eyebrows shoot up at his words, worry settling on your chest. “What do you mean?”

Lyla disappears a moment later as Miguel’s monitors keep flipping through the events in Mumbattan. Alchemax blowing up as a result of the anomaly calling itself the Spot turning on the supercollider. The building collapsing on itself.

“You know what I mean.” The man in front of you furrows his brows in anger. “He’s become a threat since the moment he was bitten. It was never even supposed to happen, you can’t expect me to let him go on like this. To keep disregarding canon as much as he pleases.”

“You know I’ve always supported you, Miguel.” You take his hand in both of yours and squeeze it tightly. “I’m the one backing you up, winning everyone over when they get mad at you… But this is wrong.”

“It’s not.” He says, taking his hand back from you and clicking away on his computer. A moment later, moments in Miles Morales’ life float in the screens around you. “We have to stop him. He’s going to undo everything we do if not.”

“Miguel,” You furrow your brows at his words, then gesture towards him with your arms. “Listen to yourself, who’s more out of canon here, him or us? We weren’t bitten, that’s strike one; we can’t stick to walls, strike two; you don’t shoot webs and my senses aren’t heightened like everyone else’s. That’s strike three.”

It’s something that’s always intrigued you, but it’s never made you think of yourself or Miguel as less of a Spiderman than everyone else. That’s not what wearing the mask means; it means protecting those who can’t protect themselves. To be selfless and kind and self-sacrificing for the world, even if no one says thank you. If Miguel and yourself haven’t broken the multiverse just by existing, then why would Miles. If his world hasn’t collapsed then there’s nothing wrong with him being the superhero that he is.

Miguel ponders your words but shakes his head, still adamant to see things your way in this matter. “The kid–”

You take a step closer to him and cut him off before he can continue. “The kid was bitten, regardless of it being supposed to happen or not! He has lost someone dear already and has basically followed every other spiderman rule, Miguel. I don’t think he’s the reason this is happening.”

Your friend, the object of your affections, turns his back towards you, going back to his screens. They show the events of Mumbattan now, the way Miles saved the captain and the little girl from being crushed by falling debris. There’s also the black hole in the city, threatening the people they tried so hard to save. The hole is so similar to the Spot’s that you’re sure an analysis would prove it right. But Miguel isn’t seeing reason. “He is.”

“It’s the Spot’s fault!” You raise your voice, frustration getting the best of you more a moment before you take a deep breath. Trying to see things from his perspective, you place a hand on his upper arm, your voice falling down to a reassuring whisper. “I know you’re scared of the world collapsing again, but it won’t.”

Your heart falls when he shrugs your hand off and turns to look at you. The many screens around you dance across his features, and after inhaling deeply Miguel speaks again. “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” You smile sadly, hoping that your confidence in him will let him see what’s right under his nose. “I know it because this time you’re here, Miguel, guiding us and making sure it doesn’t happen again. You just need to see that Miles isn’t the problem.”

“Everything started with him.” Miguel argues, his voice emphasizing the word everything, definite on his theory. His eyes are full of resentment, not towards you, but towards the situation. Days and nights of working himself thin in this office, weighing on his broad shoulders.

Your squeeze your eyes shut before you look at him again. He’s so blinded by his own past mistakes; he thinks Miles will repeat them. When you speak again your voice is soft despite your irritation. “Miguel, you know in your heart it didn’t, and I know that because we’re the same.”

He exhales and looks into your eyes; they soften only slightly as they lock with yours. You try to urge him once again to forget this theory for a moment and see things differently if only for a second. He needs to know you don’t think it has to come to this –an attack towards the young spiderman– and that you won’t be a part of it if it does.

“If I feel it, then you must feel it too.” Though you’re talking about his plans for the young spiderman, the underlying topic of your feelings for him are clear as day in the way you look at him. You let your guard down, and say barely above a whisper, “Please. You know I can’t follow you, not this time.”

His eyes look aways from you as his shoulders tense, a clear sign of all the walls you’d crumbled building back up. “You want me to risk everything, including you, over a what-if?”

“Everything’s a what-if, Miguel.” You smile sadly at him, then set your shoulders straight as you step away from the platform and from him. “But I guess that settles that.”

Miguel takes two steps and catches up to you before he reaches for your hand. There’s a tightness around his brown eyes from the way you’re looking at him tearfully. They shift to confusion a moment later, when his hand moves upwards towards your wrist and you grin. Taking another step back, you hold your watch on your opposite hand, showing him that you knew he’d try to take it from you. You know him better than he gives you credit for.

“I’ll see you when you’ve changed your mind, Twilight.” You fiddle with your watch until a portal opens and when it does, you throw the device back at him. Though your throat is tight, emotion concentrating there as tears sting your eyes, you keep yourself from crying. “Otherwise… I guess this is goodbye.”

Not bearing to look into the new despair in his eyes, you turn around and walk into your dimension without looking back. When the portal closes behind you, you’re back in your apartment, the room dark around you safe for the lamp you forgot to turn off in the morning. Every corner you look at you see Miguel’s lingering shadow; the wall he always leaned against when you talked in the kitchen, the couch where the two of you always hung out –your legs over his lap and your laptop over yours as he waited for you to finish working. You wrap your arms around yourself, hoping for some comfort to come from it.

Hoping this mess can be fixed.

It is only a day later when the first step towards it being resolved, happens. You’ve been swinging through the city, patrolling different neighborhoods and keeping an eye out for any anomalies. Without your watch you’ve been disconnected from the Spider Society. Most importantly from Miguel, and although you try to, you can’t help but wonder what’s happening back in the HQ. You've barely been to your apartment since your fight with Miguel, your heart feels like a fading bruise –not quite broken but yearning painfully– and the last thing you want to do is spend time somewhere that will bring his memory back to you. So quick stops to shower, work, and eat, in between patrols are all you’ve allowed yourself. You’re swinging to one of these stops, when you spot a lonely figure standing in your balcony.

Even from afar you know its him, no one else has his shoulder-to-waist ratio, and no one else makes your heart skip quite like he does. Despite being vexed from your last conversation, you feel his heart call out to yours, and the way his eyes rise to see you swing towards the balcony are all the confirmation that you need that your assumptions were right. He would come around eventually, you knew it, you never thought it would be this fast though. What have you done now, Miguel?

You land on the balcony next to him, nod towards your door so he can follow you inside. Once the door closes behind you, you take your mask off and Miguel’s vanishes too. There’s no awkwardness as you stand in front of each other in the middle of the living room, only silence in an otherwise joyful room. The lights are still off in your apartment but you don’t move to turn them on, instead you shrug and motion towards the balcony.

“Nice timing.” You say, trying to keep your voice light. “What are you doing here?”

“You said you’d see me when I changed my mind.” His voice is low, like he’s worried the moment will shatter if he speaks any louder.

“You did?” Your question is followed by a step closer to him, but a frown appears on your face. “What changed it?”

“I’m sorry. I made a mistake.” He whispers, brows furrowed together creating a deep crease between them. His eyes won’t meet yours but from the city lights outside your apartment, and the glow from his suit, you can see the deep regret in them, and the embarrassment from admitting his wrongs. “Then made a mess out of everything.”

“Miguel–”

“You can say I told you so, because you were right.” He turns to you, bringing his hand to hold your cheek briefly before he sighs and walks away, closer to the balcony’s window.

“What happened?” You follow him, standing next to him. Part of you is afraid he’s going to leave the same way he arrived, and panic settles on your chest. You urge him to keep talking though, you won’t give him a chance to shut down this time. “What happened with Miles?”

“The Spot’s stronger than before and going to Miles’ dimension to destroy it and then possibly many others.” Miguel clenches his hands into fists, the muscles around his neck tensing, the stress and worry in them is clear for you to see. “But he’s not there, because of me.”

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, a mannerism you’ve gotten from the man next to you. Of course he scared the kid off; you love this man more than anything, but he really needs to work on his first impressions. “Where is he? How can we find him?”

“I have an idea; I think his friends do too.” Miguel starts, then shakes his head, some strands of hair falling over his forehead. “Maybe the dimension of the spider that bit him is a good place to start.”

“Then we find him, Miguel.” You move to stand in front of him, your back to the window and the city, all your focus on him. “We find him, we bring him home, and we defeat the Spot.”

He nods almost imperceptibly his gaze in the distant glimmering buildings, his handsome yet tired features washed in light blue and purple light. You know he can feel your gaze on him, burning a hole on his face but his eyes won’t look away from the window. When he doesn’t give in a moment later, you bring both of your hands to his face. Half expecting him to move away, you’re surprised when he lets you, and a small breath escapes him at the contact.

“Why won’t you look at me?” You whisper, your thumbs moving softly over his cheekbones. “Everything will be alright; we can fix it.”

“I almost lost everything by trying to prevent it from happening again.” He confesses, eyes full of torment when they finally meet yours. They glisten in the light, worry and despair making his icy layers melt for you too see him clearly. It’s enough to make you tear up. When you try to say something, he cuts you off as if knowing what you’re about to say. “I almost lost you.”

You shake your head fervently. “You were never going to lose me, we’re best friends I don’t think we’re capable of losing each other.”

“We’re more than that.” He says, voice gentle as he takes your hands from his face and holds them in his, they dwarf yours in size. “I feel it too and I’m sorry if it’s too late.” His words echo back to your last conversation, and it makes your stomach flip. Finally, after so much time, your feelings are bare in front of each other. Precious jewels you would never trust to anyone else, both broken, both put back together, and perfect for the other.

“It’s not.” You shake your head and let go of his hands, moving them instead to rest on his shoulders. A smile makes its way to your face, and the way Miguel’s lips move to mirror it makes your heart soar.

A moment later his head is tipping downwards as you step on the tip of your toes to kiss him. It’s an electric moment, a canonic event itself with the way all the pieces seem to fall into place. You move your arms around Miguel’s shoulders and hitch yourself higher to wrap your legs around his waist. His approval is hummed into your mouth as his lips move ardently against yours. One of his arms goes around your waist while the other moves up your back to bury his hand in your hair, tipping your face in the perfect angle to kiss you into a blissful state. Your sighs are unstoppable and he’s more than happy to catch them with his lips as your hands move to his hair. This is all you’ve wanted, to have him completely, for the two of you to accept the feelings that have always been there.

Eventually your passionate kiss simmers down to something slower, calmer. Miguel’s lips brush yours softly; barely-there kisses that move to the corner of your mouth, your cheek and along your jaw. His voice is rough when he whispers against your lips in a gentleness he rarely shows, “I love you, I always have.”

“I love you, you broody, cheap Twilight vampire wannabe.” You murmur, brushing your nose against his as he chuckles under his breath, before he sets you down. “We should go.”

“Only if you want to.” Miguel tells you, holding out your watch on the palm of his hand.

You take it from him and put it on with a smile. “Please, you’d be lost without me.”

His hand cups your cheek for a moment, a soft smile just for you on his face as he says, voice low. “Right again.”

In front of you a new portal appears, back to Miguel’s office to round everybody up. The future might still be up in the air, and there might be many battles ahead before this multiversal conflict is solved. But one thing you know for sure is that with the right team, the impossible can happen. You’re sure Miles’ team has his back, but a little backup wouldn’t hurt them, would it?

You take Miguel’s hand and squeeze it in yours before walking backwards to the portal. “Come on Twilight, let’s help the kids save the world.”

#miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara fluff #across the spider verse fanfic #spider man 2099

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sl-vega · 2 months

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⍣ ೋ STUCK WITH YOU

Pairing: Michael Kaiser x [FEM!] Reader

Genre: professional figure skater au, rivals to lovers (?), can be platonic if you squint, oneshot/drabble

Synopsis: In which you're stuck sharing the rink with your insufferable rival.

CW: swearing, ooc kaiser (?)

You laced up your skates and stepped into the rink, the cold frigid air was a familiar feeling to you. You glided across the ice, the sound of your skates was music to your ears.

"Oh, it's you."

You heard a voice that was all too familiar to you. A sound that was worse than nails on a chalkboard. You turned around to see a young man step into the rink.

"Kaiser."

"(L/N)."

He smiled, sickening and fake. "What are you doing here?" You asked with disgust. Your manager rented it for you, and you alone. Didn't she?

"It's a public rink, schatz." He explained, using the pet name he always opted for whenever he wanted to get under your skin.

"We just happened to schedule at the same time and some fools didn't tell you that it was already booked." He gestured to the exit of the rink.

"So if you'd just make your way out, I'd be ever so grateful." He smirked skating right by you.

You could've left, in all honesty you should've left. But leaving would be admitting defeat to Kaiser, and to you, that was a fate worse than death.

Were you being petty?

Yes.

Did you care?

Nope.

You skated in his direction, passing right by him. "No, I'm perfectly fine with staying." You attempted to sound nonchalant.

"Didn't know you were this desperate to have some alone time with me, meine liebe. Obsessive much?"

He smirked, clearly pleased with your reaction. The media had taken a liking to you and Kaiser's rivalry and they adored spinning the story into some rivals to lovers situation-ship.

It didn't help that everyone thought that Kaiser teasing you was some kind of love-language.

"Shut up." You muttered, picking up your pace to match his. The two of you were skating laps around the rink.

"You're not denying anything~"

"Shut up!"

"Make me."

His face was inches away from yours, you could feel his warm breath against your lips. He smirked, pulling away.

"You're gonna have to try harder if you really want me that badly, prinzessin." He teased you again. You swatted his shoulder.

"Well, as much as I love messing with you, don't you need to get some practice in?"

Huh, oddly thoughtful of him, maybe he isn't so bad?

"You really need it." He added, soaking up your agitated expression.

Never mind. Once a bastard, always a bastard.

You sighed making you way to the other side of the ring. Why must I always entertain his antics?

Maybe you have a crush on him~

You recalled your manager's words from a few weeks ago. You quickly dismissed the thought, there was no way you'd have feelings for Michael Kaiser of all people. Right?

You looked back at him, still gliding around his half of the rink.

Well I do need a partner for this routine...

You were probably going to regret this later, but practice was practice, regardless of who it was with.

"Kaiser!"

He looked up at you, and you beckoned for him to come over.

"Yes schatz?"

You held out your hand, making direct eye contact with him. "Practice with me."

He took your hand in his. "Knew you couldn't resist me."

You rolled your eyes.

Maybe being stuck with you isn't the worst thing after all.

Gift for the lovely @latay7 srry that this is so short but hey, I tried <3

Idea from @eggosforbreakfast on wattpad

#michael kaiser #kaiser x reader #kaiser x you #micheal kaiser x reader #bluelock x reader

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borathae · 2 years

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“Jungkook has been your best friend ever since he can remember. You have been Jungkook’s best friend ever since you can remember. The two of you share every secret and ever since high school you even share an apartment. One day Jungkook confesses his probably biggest secret to you. He is a virgin and hellbound on changing that. Together you make up a plan on getting him laid. Problem is, you are pretty sure that you are head over heels in love with him.”

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Painter!Reader

Genre: bf2l!AU, Roommates to Lovers!AU, Romance, Fluff, Smut

Warnings: so much yearning in the beginning, unrequited feelings but are they really?, lotsa plot, virgin!Jungkook, shy!Koo, experienced!Reader, loss of virginity, oil massages, boobie fondling, oral (m. & f.receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms (m.receiving), protected sex, Kookie tries to dirty talk but is a lil clumsy with it, it’s so endearing :(, he is also so eager to learn, this is just pure feel good smut

Wordcount: 20.2k

a/n: This was not supposed to escalate to such lengths but it did and I know it’s long, but please give it a chance I promise you it is so, so worth it! Also sidenote: with each Jungkook I create I think that this is my peak and yet each time I prove myself wrong and cry because Jungkook is the sweetest man and you can’t convince me otherwise 😔🤍

~ To Index ~

"I know one!" Jimin exclaims, lifting his hand.

"Go ahead", Yoongi allows him.

"Okay so, it's gonna be easy because we need to get this party started and we can’t keep not drinking booze. So", he takes a deep breath, "never have I ever made out with someone."

"Dude that's so easy", Taehyung says, taking a sip.

One by one they all take a sip, shaking their heads in disbelief of how easy Jimin’s was. You take a sip as well.

Sudden silence. All of you stare at one person in the room.

Jungkook.

Red cheeked and fidgeting, he hasn’t taken a sip yet.

He looks up for only a second then looks at his lap.

"Did you-", Seokjin starts only to be interrupted by Jimin.

"Never have I ever kissed someone."

One by one you all lift your cups to your lips to drink. Everyone except Jungkook, who is lowering his head even more.

"No way", Jimin murmurs, "you didn’t even kiss?"

"N-no?" he stutters.

"Not even for a second, like a little mwuah?"

Jungkook shakes his head.

"Not even a peck? An accidental brush of lips?"

"W-why is this so important?" Jungkook stutters, cheeks beet red and eyes glassy. He always gets glassy eyes when he is embarrassed. One time he even cried, you felt really bad for him when that happened.

"It's not, I just figured that you kissed someone before."

"Yeah well", he lowers his eyes again, "I didn’t."

The silence which follows is heavy in awkwardness. Hoseok coughs. Namjoon clears his throat loudly.

"Anyways!" you say, "I have the next one. Never have I ever stolen something."

You hope that this would be enough to shift their attention. It is.

"It was gum, I was ten", Yoongi says, taking a sip.

"I stole pens from school", Taehyung admits and drinks.

"Dude I just straight up forgot to take it out of my bag", you say and take a sip.

Namjoon also drinks but he doesn’t give any further information.

"Never have I ever punched someone", Seokjin says next.

Only Jungkook drinks.

"Seriously dude? You've never kissed someone before but you punched someone?" Jimin asks in a squeaky voice, "how does that work?"

You know why Jungkook drank, because you were involved when it happened. It was the first semester of college, late November. You and Jungkook had been living together for a little over seven months, but you've known each other longer. As a matter of fact you knew each other well enough to consider each other best friends. It was a Friday when it happened. Like always, Jungkook stayed home while you went out partying. It was fun, you danced a lot and drank even more. The music was good, the vibes were great and you made out with a dude on the toilet. It was all great and fun up until your other best friend - Jennie - told you that she would leave for the night to get dicked down by this massive jock she met. You wished her lots of fun and told her to stay safe and then stayed another hour. You felt tired after that hour, so ready for bed and so you called Jungkook to ask him if he could pick you up to which he said yes. You waited outside the club. Alone, wearing too little clothes (which, thinking back, is no excuse), way too drunk and therefore vulnerable. That is when this guy came up to you. A little bit older than you, visibly sober and very much into the deep cleavage your shirt had. He was friendly at first and because your guards were down from booze, you continued the conversation. Until all of a sudden he began touching you. Your arm first then your neck and suddenly you had his hand on your tit and his knee between your legs. You tried to fight him off but he was strong and clear in his head while you were tired and so dizzy you could barely stand. You visibly struggled, fighting him as best as possible.

That's when Jungkook arrived, parking the car across the sidewalk and jumping out of it without even bothering to turn it off or close the door. He just stormed up to the man, ripped him away from you and punched him so hard across the face that he drew blood. You will never forget how angry he looked, how big he made himself and how the veins in his neck were pulsating from tensing so tightly. You will also never forget the words he spat with poison in his voice.

"You piece of shit asshole, touch her again and I will break your fucking hands."

That was the first and last time you heard him swear.

The man tried to fight Jungkook, but that earned him another punch and then another as Jungkook made sure to hurt his ribs as well.

"Now stay down", he spat, towering over the groaning man.

That was also the only time you witnessed Jungkook's real anger.

Normally he is quite calm in showing his anger. He either falls quiet and sulks for hours or he whines and complains about whatever is bugging him nonstop. But that night he was scary and didn’t act like Jungkook at all and yet somehow you felt safe in his presence because you knew that he had your back.

You grew even closer that night and Jungkook promised you that he will always protect you.

That was three years ago and Jungkook and you were still sharing an apartment. Just this spring you moved to a bigger space with its own atelier and a really big bathtub. It was truly a dream come true for both of you.

Said apartment is the current location of tonight's game and drink night. All your friends are here and the vibes were awesome.

"Yes, I punched someone", Jungkook says, sneaking a glance your way, "and I'd do it again."

You lower your gaze, feeling your heart flutter for only a second.

"Damn for a moment there I was attracted to you", Hoseok jokes, sending a row of laughter through all of you.

"I have the next one then. Fitting to the theme. Never have I ever gotten punched", Namjoon says.

Nobody drinks.

"Okay damn, that was a fail. I thought Jimin would drink."

"Me? Excuse me? Why?" he gasps.

"Cause, didn’t you sleep with a married woman once?"

"That was one time and I didn’t know she was married", Jimin defends himself.

You cackle.

The night continues with friendly bickering and silly questions. The mood is easy, the vibes are great and Jungkook seems less nervous as well. Until Taehyung asks the age old question of "never have I ever had a threesome."

That is when all the sex questions began. Questions about all sorts of positions. Questions about all sorts of kinks. Questions about all sorts of fluids or sounds. It was truly eye opening and you found out a few very disturbing details about your friends' sexlife. The most fascinating thing however was that Jungkook didn’t drink at any of the questions. Not even one.

So Hoseok sneaks a glance at him, the rest of you follows.

"Never have I ever had sex", he asks.

Jungkook, who had very clearly felt your eyes on him, lifts his cup and drinks with his cheeks ruby.

All of you follow suit.

"So you wanna tell me you didn’t kiss nor make out with someone, but you had sex?" Namjoon asks.

"I did! I had sex!" Jungkook insists loudly, furrowing his brows in seriousness.

"And yet you didn’t even drink when we talked about all that kink stuff", Seokjin says.

"That's b-because I don’t like that stuff", Jungkook stutters, touching his ears.

Oh he was lying. He was lying like a champ.

"So what do you like?" Taehyung asks.

"Many stuff. Yeah", Jungkook nods his head, "really nasty sex stuff."

"Mh-hm nasty sex stuff. Like spitting, slapping, choking?"

"Yeah sure, totally did that and liked it."

"Or scratching and biting?"

"Love that", Jungkook insists, nodding his head vigorously.

"Yeah? Golden Showers?"

"Golden Showers. Mhm yeah, pretty. Very great stuff", it is very clear that he has no idea what that was.

Hoseok and Taehyung snort, exchanging a knowing look.

"Wow, you’re kinkier than me", Seokjin says and nudges Jungkook's arm, "Jeon Jungkook the man who hasn’t kissed but let's someone piss on him", he teases.

"What? Piss?" Jungkook squeaks, "I, I mean", he blushes, "totally yeah", he says, lowering his voice to sound cooler.

The guys chuckle and continue with the game. For the rest of the night Jungkook is quieter, seemingly lost in whatever haunts his mind.

They leave at eleven, saying their goodbyes and thanking you for being amazing hosts. You did the farewell as Jungkook hid in the kitchen and cleaned the counters. You know that this was him sulking.

"See you guys", you call after them. Taehyung gives you one last wave and then disappears down the stairs.

You close the door and lock it, making your way to the kitchen afterwards.

Jungkook is standing by the rubbish bin, throwing away each empty beer can singularly. His eyes were zoned out.

"So that was great", you say.

Jungkook turns his head.

"Yeah, it was", he agrees, voice monotone and quiet.

"Are you feeling alright?" you ask him.

"Of course I do", he assures you and forces a smile to his lips, "just tired."

"Yeah? Because you seem like something is bothering you."

Jungkook throws away the rest of the cans and walks back to the counter to get the rest.

"I'm okay", he very obviously lies.

"Jungkook", you say his name with seriousness in your voice, "what’s really going on?"

"I'm not ready to talk about it. Can we leave it at that?"

So it's serious.

"Yes of course, just come to me when you're ready."

"Mhm", he lets out and leaves the kitchen afterwards.

Saturday. Four thirty. The sun is shining into your atelier and the windows are open to let in fresh air. Traffic is quiet today. Music is playing through your bluetooth speakers. It’s the artist you and Jungkook always listen to when you paint. Cigarettes After Sex. Very great band, also good music to fuck to but you never told Jungkook about that thought.

Speaking of Jungkook. He is currently with you, sitting at his desk and drawing in his sketchbook. Every now and then you can hear the distinct sound of him using the eraser before the barely audible scribble of the pencil replaces it again.

You are painting. You finally found inspiration to finish this one piece for school. The theme should be Evanescence and you struggled a lot with finding the right motive and colours. Today the process feels easy however, which was great.

"Okay but seriously", Jungkook's voice cuts through the comfortable silence, startling you slightly.

You sneak a glance his way.

He is looking at you, having his brows furrowed.

"Why is it so bad that I never kissed someone before?"

You stop painting, straightening up before turning to face him.

"This comes outta nowhere."

"Yeah well, I wanna talk about it because it annoys me how you guys belittled me."

"Hey, don’t pull me into this. I didn’t belittle you. I couldn’t care less about it."

"Yeah well, still", he lowers his head because he is getting embarrassed, "whatever, forget about it", he murmurs and begins drawing again.

Judging from his hand movements he is staying on the same spot, drawing one single line over and over again. Which means he is only pretending to draw.

"Sooo", you begin, "you really haven’t kissed anyone before?"

He stops drawing, sneaking a glance your way. His cheeks are slowly but surely turning red.

"Is this really so bad?" he asks, sagging his shoulders.

"Nah, you’re alright", you assure him.

He touches his ears, swaying from side to side.

"And you had sex before?"

"Of course I did, you know me. I am a busy bee."

"Okay but please tell me the logistics of this. Making out beforehand is literally the best shit about sex. Or like sloppy kisses during sex. How on earth do you fuck people without ever kissing them?"

"It works. It really does, yeah", he insists, nodding his head vigorously, "you just gotta be uhm… really creative."

"Mh-hm really creative. Like peeing on people."

His cheeks are bright red, the tip of his nose too.

"Yeah totally, that’s an option", he says, touching his burning cheeks.

"Oh cut the crap Kook. I know you’re lying."

"I'm not! I'm really not", Jungkook insists with big eyes.

"You are a terrible liar. Always have been."

He drops his hands from his face and sags his shoulders.

"Fine, I didn’t know what Golden Showers are. I don’t like pee."

"And?" you stress.

"And I didn’t do all the other stuff too."

"And?"

He sighs, lowering his head.

"I'm a virgin", he whispers, hiding his face behind his hands immediately.

It was very obvious to you that he is. In those four years of living with him you have not seen him with a girl once. And you know that he didn’t talk to girls in high school either so he couldn’t have lost it there. It was obvious to you that he was in fact a virgin, but hearing it out loud still does things to you. Like make your heart flutter and your stomach tingle.

It is a very confusing feeling because you are looking at your best friend here and you are pretty sure that fluttering hearts and tingly stomachs are not reserved for best friends.

You push the feelings down as best as possible.

"There's no shame in that. It’s totally cool", you assure him and begin painting again.

"No it's not, it’s embarrassing. I'm a twenty four year old virgin. This is so embarrassing."

You stop painting and look at his blushing face.

"Dude, you’re literally alright", you tell him, "do you even know how many people are still virgins in their twenties? Thirties even?"

He shakes his head.

"Many, thousands. It’s more common than you think. It’s society who is fucked up. Like telling young kids, children, that they need to have their first sex with like fifteen, sixteen years old and if they don’t they're automatically a loser? That's fucked up."

Jungkook looks at you.

"We aren’t even really developed at that age and yet it's expected of us to do something so grown-up and mature. Nah, I lost my virginity when I was fifteen and it was the worst day of my life. It hurt and was really uncomfortable because I didn’t know any better and didn’t know my body yet."

"You did?"

"I did and I am a passionate advocate for waiting until you are ready and then having a really nice experience with someone because you’re mature enough to know what you want. And if that means you’re gonna get your first lay at age thirty six then so fucking be it."

"But...I don’t wanna wait until I'm thirty six", Jungkook whispers.

"That's aight too, just do it whenever you feel ready."

"I wanna do it now. A-at twenty four. I-I wanted it since I was twenty two", he confesses.

"Mhm I get you. Have you tried hooking up with someone?"

"No?" he cringes, "you know that I didn’t."

"Well, should I help you set up a dating profile? Dating apps are the real deal to get laid. I met so many guys through that."

"I-I never tried that."

"Yeah? Wanna try it?"

He nods his head, hiding his face behind his hands again.

So you and him spend the rest of your day setting up Jungkook's dating profile.

Jungkook cackles beside you, making you lift your head from your phone.

"What's so funny?" you ask him.

"Oh, it’s Valerie. She just told me a funny story", Jungkook says and begins typing his answer.

"Ah", you murmur and look back into your phone, clenching your jaw as you do.

Valerie is the girl he met on the dating app. They haven’t met yet and have only been talking for two weeks, but Jungkook says that she is very nice and pretty. And for some fucked up, confusing reason you feel a weird twinge in your chest whenever he mentions her.

"Oh god", he gasps.

"What's wrong?"

"She just asked me if I wanna meet up later. Oh fuck what should I do?"

Block her. Is the first thing you think of.

"Tell her yeah sure", you say instead, tasting sourness on your tongue.

"Okay okay. I will", Jungkook says and begins typing, "oh I'm excited, maybe tonight will be the night", he giggles.

You feel your stomach tighten uncomfortably.

"Yeah.." you press out, grinding your teeth.

Valerie isn’t the only girl he met. In the course of the last month he met up with ten girls, eleven if we count in Valerie. They chat for a little then one of them asks for a meet up and then you have to tell Jungkook goodbye as he leaves for his potential First Time. He always looks very handsome when he leaves but comes home looking defeated to tell you that tonight wasn’t the night.

"Nice! She said to meet in an hour. Oh crap! I gotta get ready, shave and clean and everything", he babbles before rolling off the couch and running to the bathroom.

"Tzt", you scoff, punching a pillow when you know he can’t see you anymore.

He is ready to leave after forty minutes. Looking way too handsome in his white tee and ripped jeans.

"Okay I'm going. Wish me luck", he calls out.

"Luck!" you call out, "or whatever, I hope you don’t get laid", you whisper because you know he can’t hear you.

"Bye!"

"Bye!" you call out happily all whilst grinding your teeth.

The door closes and you are all alone, left brooding in those confusing emotions.

Jungkook returns in the evening. You were in the middle of eating your dinner very sulkily when you hear the front door unlock. After a moment you can watch Jungkook drudge into the living room and plop down on the couch beside you.

"And?"

"No", he says, shaking his head. He sighs loudly and covers his eyes with his arm.

You have to fight the urge to smile.

"Damn that sucks. I'm sorry”, you say.

"Yeah, it’s okay I guess", he murmurs and sighs again, "I think I’m gonna stop looking."

You feel happy for a second.

"Oh no. Why? It’s been going so well”, you fake your surprise.

"It's not been going well. I-I think that they are pretty, meet up but when they show the first indicator of wanting to fuck I lose all attraction to them and pull away."

Now that is news to you.

"Hold up. You always told me that they just weren’t interested in sex."

He pulls his arm away, sending you one of his caught-in-a-lie-looks.

"Yeah uhm...those were lies. Sorry", he confesses with a blush.

"Dude" you gasp, "I was literally rooting for you and all this time you were the one pulling away?"

"I know", he whines, sitting up, "but it just felt so wrong to do when I was in the situations. I realised that I basically know nothing of them and that I haven’t even developed any real emotional connections and I just…" he sags his shoulders, "...I stopped being attracted and just wanted out."

"So you left because you guys didn’t have enough time to form a bond?"

He nods his head.

"It feels so wrong...to me", he confesses, "I don’t know how you do it, but I just…" he touches his chest, "...I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I just can’t do it."

You study him. You might have a gist and it suits him. It really does.

"Not to assume your sexuality but it kinda sounds to me like you could be demi."

"Demi? What’s that?"

"It's when you can only feel sexually attracted to someone once you developed some sort of deep emotional bond with them."

"Oh, I never heard of that. Is it wrong?"

"No, of course not. It’s just as right and correct as any sexuality. Look it up if you want, I think you could find some answers in it."

"Hm, yeah I will.." Jungkook murmurs and zones out.

Jungkook comes to your room that night, knocking once before sticking his head inside.

"Hey ___? Are you awake?"

You turn your bedside lamp on and sit up.

"Yeah, what’s up?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure."

Jungkook closes the door behind him and waddles to your bed. He crawls on top of it, pulling your spare blanket over his body.

"Can you turn the lights off?"

That means whatever Jungkook wants to talk about is really difficult for him and also embarrasses him. He only really has serious conversations with the lights off or with his eyes closed eighty percent of the conversation.

"Sure", you say and turn off the lights.

Your curtains are see through enough to let in some light. You can still see his features even if they are slightly distorted in darkness. He seems troubled.

"What's up Kook?"

"___ I think I’m demisexual", he whispers.

"Yeah? Did you do research?"

"I did and I see so much of myself in it."

"That's great, I’m happy for you."

"I don't feel happy about it."

"What? Why?"

"Because I feel like I’m broken. Like something is wrong with me."

"There is nothing wrong with you."

"Yeah it is. How should I ever have sex when I need feelings for it? How should I ever have one night stands? Or hook-ups? Or kiss someone?"

"Kook", you reach out to hold his hand, "you don’t have to have one night stands or hook-ups or make out with strangers. There is literally no rule for that."

"But I don’t - I can’t - I", he exhales shakily, "what about the body count? A-and me being man enough to have many fucks?"

"That's society being a bitch to you guys and giving you really toxic expectations. Being a man isn’t about how many chicks you slept with but about you being a respectful and sweet person", you squeeze his hand, "and last time I checked you were hell of man enough."

"You think so?" he asks quietly.

"Yes Jungkook. I really do. You are sweet, helpful, respectful, kind and such an amazing person. And that's all that matters."

"Really?"

"Yes."

He is silent for a while as he thinks your words over. You caress his knuckles in the meantime, thinking to yourself that holding his hand tonight felt different than on other nights. It felt safe and made your heart flutter and you somehow didn’t want it to end.

"So you don’t think something is wrong with me?" he asks quietly.

"No, nothing is wrong with you. On the contrary, I think it's really cool of you that you found something you feel comfortable with."

"Thank you", he whispers, squeezing your hand.

"Don't thank me, it’s alright."

There is silence again. A silence you watch Jungkook use to gaze at your face until you realise that you also used it to gaze at his face. You felt nervous then.

"___ I don’t know what to do now. I don’t think dating apps are for me, but I don’t know how else to meet people."

"I could take you with me to the club. I'll hook you up with someone."

"No, I don’t like clubs. They’re loud and have too many people."

You chuckle. That's so typical him.

"Fine, then let's go somewhere you like going. That will maximise your chance to meet someone with the same mindset."

"But...I don’t go anywhere."

"Yeah true, I forgot you’re basically a cave animal."

"Hey."

You chuckle, "no judgment here."

He pouts.

"Don't worry Kook. You'll find the perfect one. Trust me", you assure him, shaking him by his shoulder gently.

"I don't know about it anymore", he murmurs, letting out a loud sigh.

“Hey champ, don’t give up now. It’s only been a month and we haven’t even explored all the options.”

“I guess”, he whispers before pulling your hand closer to rest his cheek on it. His eyes are softer now that he looks at you, his cheek feels so warm against your knuckles. He gives you a sweet smile and then closes his eyes.

Your heart feels so weirdly warm again. So fluttery and light.

“Are you going to sleep here?” you ask him quietly, feeling short of breath by now. Jungkook has never been that cuddly before.

He nods his head.

“Oh, okay. That’s aight”, you murmur.

You spend the silence thinking to yourself what is going on between you and him lately whilst staring at Jungkook until he has fallen asleep and even then you stare until tiredness practically forces your eyes closed.

It was slightly chilly today. You spend your day in thick wool socks and your coziest sweater. You are painting again. Now working on another art piece. Evanescence had been finished last week and got you a B because according to the teacher the paint application could have been smoother.

Now you are working on a self portrait, slowly but surely losing your mind over it.

"Urgh I hate it", you groan, dropping the pencil.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook asks.

"I can't get it right. My eyes look weird no matter what I do", you whine.

Jungkook gets up from his chair and hurries over to you. He places himself behind you and inspects the painting. It was currently only done with pencil, a rough sketch of your features. The canvas where your eyes are supposed to be is already smeared with half erased pencil splotches.

"Can I?" he asks.

"Sure, whatever", you murmur, slightly pissy. You hand him the pencil, gasping inaudibly when a second later he leans down and cages you between his body and the canvas. You can even smell his cologne that way.

"Look, you are drawing your eyelids like this while they look more like this", he explains, sketching your left eye perfectly.

You feel so...giddy. He is behind you, chest resting against your back, face inches away from touching yours and arms caging you in as he reaches forward. This is something you and him have never done before and somehow it feels so exciting that you could burst.

“There we go, that looks good”, he murmurs and begins sketching out your right eye.

You feel even giddier. This is a perfect replica of your left eye. Like you are looking into a mirror. How is he that good at sketching your eyes? Why does he know the shapes and differences and the way your lashes look?

You look at his face. He seems so concentrated. His lower lip is between his teeth, there is a crease between his brows and his eyes are just squinted slightly. You can’t…stop…staring at him.

"And look, your right eye is just a little different at the corner. Look, you have to go like this", he whispers, replicating it perfectly.

It is identical to your actual eye. It is like he has sketched them a million times before.

You look at his face again, eyes lingering on his lips. His tongue darts out, pink and wet, to lick over his lips.

“Okay and then you have to go like this to make the lid like this”, he explains before parting his lips in concentration.

Has his nose always been that pretty? Has it always curved that perfectly? Did the tip of it always look so kissable?

"What do you think?" he looks at you, noticing your staring, "i-is it good?" he stutters, blushing.

You startle, feeling your heartbeat skip a beat in panic. He caught you staring oh god.

"It's uhm…it’s literally perfect", you whisper, "how the hell did you do that?"

"I don't know uhm", Jungkook takes a step back, "practice I guess."

He waddles back to his desk, beginning to draw with his cheeks burning up. You let your eyes linger on him for one more second before looking back at the perfectly drawn eyes.

You touch your chest.

What is happening to you?

Your self portrait gains you an A+ with the reasoning that you truly captured the essence of your eyes. You felt slightly guilty because it wasn’t you who drew your eyes, but Jungkook.

The latter is already back from the gym when you come home. He is cooking, dainty waist accentuated by an apron which he had tied together at his back with a perfect ribbon.

"That smells delicious", you announce yourself.

Jungkook turns and gives you a quick grin.

"Hey ___ how was class?"

"Alright. I got my self portrait back. I got an A+."

"Really?" Jungkook gasps and smiles, "that’s great, I’m happy for you."

You claim the space next to him, snatching a piece of carrot to snack on it.

"Don't eat too many, I need them for the soup."

"Alright", you say, watching him stirr the clear broth, "I got an A because my eyes were perfect."

Jungkook sneaks a glance your way.

"Yeah? Nice, you worked really hard on them."

"Hell I did. You did", you nudge his arm, "it's your fault I got an A. Seriously, how are you that good at drawing my eyes?"

He blushes and shrugs his shoulders.

"Luck? I don’t know, I've been drawing for so long it feels easy to draw eyes."

"You didn’t even look at them before you started. You just drew. That's literally so impressive."

"Ah, no. It was nothing. Maybe I just spend too much time with you."

You and him make eye contact. Your heart skips a beat in your chest, your fingers feel clammy.

"Hah", you let out and laugh nervously, "maybe. Uhm yeah...can I help you with something?"

Jungkook, who feels the sudden awkwardness too, looks away with a racing heart.

"Sure, uh. Could you maybe set the table?"

"On it!"

The food in the cafeteria was surprisingly yummy today. Seokjin and Namjoon are with you and Jungkook and just this moment you can watch Hoseok and Yoongi walk up to your table with trays in their hands.

“Hey guys”, they greet you and sit down.

“Yo bro. What’s up?” you greet them.

“Nothing much, the usual”, Yoongi says and shrugs his shoulders, “I heard that you’re looking into dating Jungkook.”

“Who told you that?” Jungkook gasps.

“Namjoon.”

“Hyung”, Jungkook whines, “I told you that in private.”

“I’m sorry, it was an accident. It just spilled out of me.”

“You literally suck so much”, Jungkook whines and pouts.

“Hey guys”, Jimin says.

He had just joined your table with Taehyung by his side.

“Hey”, you all greet them.

They sit down and while Jimin begins eating, Taehyung turns his attention to Jungkook.

“Namjoon told me that you wanna date?”

“Namjoon!” Jungkook whines, slapping the older guy on his arm.

"I'm sorry bro, I’m sorry for my fault", Namjoon says, looking clearly embarrassed.

“What’s going on?” Taehyung asks confused.

“It was supposed to be a secret”, you explain.

“Ah I see”, he says and hums, “either way, it’s a good thing I know. I have a date for you Kook.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung. You feel your stomach tighten uncomfortably.

“You do?”

“Yep. One of my classmates in photography is looking for a date so I told her about you and she said that you sound very interesting and cute. She wants to meet up tomorrow.”

“Wow, this is so spontaneous”, Jungkook says and laughs in disbelief.

“I know and that’s her”, Taehyung says, showing a picture of her on his phone, “she likes photography, has an interest in drawing and goes to the gym twice a week. She is also a big romance movie nerd and likes those weird cookies you like.”

You clench your hands to fists, trying your hardest not to show just how much your heart stings right now. She sounds like Jungkook’s dream girl and she is so pretty too.

“She is so pretty”, Jungkook says and blushes, “yeah okay, tell her I’m in.”

Fuck. It feels like someone just punched you into the chest and twisted your heart.

“How do I look?” Jungkook asks you, striking a pose in front of you.

Like you are out to break my heart.

“You look cute, those jeans look good on you”, you say.

“Thanks”, he says and giggles, “I’m kinda excited, I feel like she’s going to be really nice.”

“Mhm, yeah.”

Jungkook has been nervous the entire day. He is going on a date. He told you that he is so happy about it because Taehyung has always had good taste in girls and if she is Taehyung approved then she must be awesome. You just agreed with a nod before hiding in the bathroom so he couldn’t see the way your eyes filled with tears.

You were so confused by your reactions. You wanted Jungkook to help find love, you really did and yet somehow each time he made an attempt at finding it you wished for the date to turn out a complete fail. It confused you so much.

“Oh crap, it’s already so late. I promised to pick her up. I gotta go”, he says.

“Yeah, have fun”, you call after him, burying yourself in the heap of pillows on the sofa and hoping that they would make you disappear.

You were in the bathroom when Jungkook came back from the date. You leave the bathroom in nothing but your towel, startling when you meet him in the living room.

“Jesus christ Kook!” you exclaim.

“Oh god I’m so sorry”, he gasps, covering his eyes quickly.

You and him have a rule to not look at the other when they are fresh out of the bathroom. You just felt more comfortable doing so because you were so close to being naked in those moments and you didn’t want to invade the other’s privacy.

“Why are you back already?” you ask him, covering your chest despite it being safely wrapped in a towel.

“Do we have to have this conversation like this?” he asks.

“Yeah no, give me a minute.”

You return once you are in your pjs, sitting down next to him.

“So what’s up? Why are you back already?”

“I don’t know”, he gives you a pout, “I got cold feet again.”

You are literally so happy inside.

“Oh no that sucks”, you say, giving him sorry eyes.

“Yeah”, he says and scoffs, “fuck, it’s literally driving me nuts. She is so sweet and funny and pretty and I really liked spending time with her, but when she began to give me hints of wanting to have sex I just thought to myself that she became so unattractive all of a sudden and I didn’t want to be with her anymore.”

“Mhm, I hear you.”

“So I told her that this isn’t going to work and left. I feel so bad because she looked so devastated and confused. W-we even held hands and cuddled and then I pull away again. I don’t get it.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. I guess, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“But she was so perfect”, Jungkook says, “she has everything I want in my dream girl and even that wasn’t enough to make me sexually attracted to her.”

“Well maybe you just need to stop forcing it. You can still enjoy someone’s time without needing to bone.”

“So you think that I should call her and tell her sorry? And to ask her for another date?”

That was not what you wanted for him to get out of this.

“I mean no, but-”

“Maybe I just need to hang out with her more to form a bond!” he says with his eyes lighting up.

“Kook I wasn’t-”

“Thank you so much ___, I’m gonna call her right away”, he says and jumps off the couch to disappear into his room.

“This was literally not what I wanted you to take out of this…” you murmur, feeling beyond defeated.

You were in the cafeteria again, eating your lunch with your friends. Jungkook was happy. You just kind of withered away beside him.

Like always Taehyung and Jimin join you the latest, sitting next to each other.

“So I heard you and Jieun are going well?” Taehyung says and grins.

“Yeah, we’re doing great. She’s really nice”, Jungkook says and unbeknownst to him he is twisting a glowing blade in your chest with his words.

“So have you kissed already?” Jimin teases.

Jungkook blushes before shaking his head, “not yet.”

“Dude come on, you’ve been going on how many dates now? Five? Kiss her already.”

Jungkook lowers his eyes shyly, “maybe tonight. She invited me to her place for dinner.”

“Ooooh Kook”, the guys say, nodding their heads in contentment.

“That's basically third base. You’ll so get laid tonight”, Seokjin says, patting Jungkook’s back brotherly.

“Yeah you can shower her in gold”, Yoongi jokes teasingly to which the others cackle in mischief. Jungkook just blushes. You let out a loud laugh. So loud in fact that they all look at you as if you were crazy.

“You’re so fucking funny Yoongi”, you spit and laugh again, “shower her in gold. hahaha, so funny”, you growl.

“Uhhh what is going on?” Hoseok asks, eyeing you with suspicion.

“She is acting so weird”, Namjoon murmurs.

You stand up, still laughing.

You grab your tray of half-finished food, still laughing.

“So funny, so fucking funny”, you laugh and turn to walk away, leaving your friends behind in their confusion.

This is the first day you cry on the toilet because by now you realised that those weird feelings in your chest were you being head over heels in love with Jungkook and now you have to watch as he is falling for someone else.

You lock your phone and sigh loudly.

Seokjin sent you the third text asking you if you were alright.

You were not alright. You were miserable. You just realised that you are in love with your best friend and that you are losing him to someone else. And you hate yourself for it because you were the one who brought him onto this whole dating shit in the first place. If you hadn’t encouraged him all those months ago then maybe you wouldn’t be in so much pain right now. Maybe then Jungkook would be with you right now, doodling in his little sketchbook while humming to himself. Maybe then Jungkook wouldn’t be in some other girl’s apartment, probably getting the best fuck ever.

“I’m such an idiot”, you groan, burying your face in your own hands, “why did I have to fall for him?”

You feel like such a hypocrite too. In the time you and Jungkook lived together you went on many dates with many different guys. At one point you were also in a eight months long relationship with a guy. Not once you thought of Jungkook during those moments. And now that he is doing the same thing you were doing, you want to be protective over him and develop feelings for him. You feel like such a hypocrite.

Click.

You turn your head and watch how the lights outside turn on.

“What?” you murmur.

Silence for a little then Jungkook appears in the doorway.

“Jungkook?”

“Hey”, he says and gives you a tired smile.

“Uh hey”, you hide the used tissues quickly and sit up on the couch, “why are you here? I thought you wanted to stay over at Jieun’s place.”

He shrugs his shoulders, closing the distance between him and the couch in big steps. He sits down with a sigh, stretching out his legs before resting them on your lap. You feel how every fiber in your body begins tingling at it.

“Kook, what happened?”

“Nothing”, he says and looks at your face, “what happened to you? You were acting really worrisome in the cafeteria.”

“Oh that”, you look away, “I was just…running late to a lecture.”

“You don’t have lectures at that time.”

“Yeah well, uhm…it was a spontaneous decision.”

“___ you are just as shitty of a liar as I am. Seriously, what’s up?”

“Nothing is up”, you insist, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay, I get it”, he nudges your stomach with his foot, “if you feel ready, I’m always here to listen.”

“Thank you Kook”, you say, feeling so close to tearing up because you realised that you will never ever have such a tight bond with anyone. He knows you so well. He knows your prettiest days and your ugliest days. He knows your favourite foods and your most hated and he knows how you like your coffee in the morning. He knows when to leave you alone and when to make jokes with you. He knows that you have his back and in return offers you his back as well.

And knowing that you will never ever feel more comfortable than you do with him is literally ripping you apart. Perhaps the worst knowledge of all however, was the fact that the people on your paintings all began to somehow resemble Jungkook. Some carried his smile, some carried his eyes, some shared the same clothes with him and some just shared that pretty hair colour of his’. And now he is sitting here after coming home from a date with another girl while you can’t even tell him what was bothering you because it would ruin your friendship.

Jungkook relaxes back on the couch and inhales deeply.

“I ended it with Jieun.”

“What?” you squeak out, “what the hell? Why?”

“It’s not gonna work out between us”, he says and somehow he seems content.

“I don’t get it. Weren’t you guys doing so great?”

“Well, not anymore. She told me to throw my sketchbook away, so I ended it with her.”

“What the fuck? Why would she tell you that?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I guess she didn’t like what I draw, but I’m not gonna give it up for someone I’ve only known for a month.”

“Damn, I’m sorry Kook. That sucks”, you say and you mean it honestly.

“Don’t be. I’m not sad”, he says and smiles, “I’m relieved actually.”

“Really?”

He nods his head and closes his eyes.

“I wasn’t attracted to her, despite all the things we had in common. I tried not to force it, but I was still stressed about it. But now I don’t have to be anymore.”

“Well uhm, I guess I’m happy for you then?”

Jungkook looks at you and smiles.

“Thanks”, he sits up, pulling his legs away, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take a bath because I am still very shaken up. Nobody told me just how much it sucks to break up with someone”, he says and gets up, “did you eat already?” he asks over his shoulder.

“I didn’t, no.”

“Nice. Wanna order pizza tonight?”

“Sure. I’ll order it. The usual?”

He nods his head and then disappears for his bath.

You spend your waiting time pondering on the sofa what the hell Jungkook could have drawn that made Jieun react so rudely. You know that looking into his sketchbook would invade his privacy, but it is tempting you so much. So much in fact that you jump off the couch to sneak to his backbag and get said sketchbook.

Now are sitting on the couch again, staring at the closed book with shaking hands.

You have never invaded his privacy like that. You guys don’t do that. You ask before sneaking a glance at the other’s art. That is what you always did. But you are just so curious.

You open the book on the third page.

A sketch of a flower looks back at you. This must be one of the works he did in summer. It was drawn in blue ink and Jungkook had a blue ballpoint pen phase in summer. It looks really pretty. You flip the page. More sketches of nature. Flowers, a tree, three birds. Each as pretty as the other. You flip the page again. Sketches of the city. Doors, windows, buildings, skyscrapers. One drawing of a crosswalk with people scurrying around. All done in blue ink.

You flip yet another page. The ink changes to pencil again. A drawing of a cloud with the moon behind it. It is one of his practice doodles. You have seen him do it a million times before and on every surface possible.

You flip the page again.

Eyes, lips, noses. Dozens and dozens of doodles cover the pages, becoming gradually better and more detailed. They cover the next ten pages as well. They cover the eleventh page as well and that is when realisation dawns on you. Those were your features.

With shaking fingers you flip the page.

“Woah”, you gasp.

Doodles of you. Your side profile, you laughing, you furrowing your brows in concentration, you looking completely relaxed.

You flip the page.

More doodles. You with your hair messy, you with your hair done, you in shabby shirts and pretty dresses.

You flip the page, feeling so breathless by now.

Your eyes again, your lips right next to them. Your hands join his practice routine. You holding brushes, you resting them in different positions, you keeping them relaxed.

You blink the burning in your eyes away and flip the page.

Just one drawing, it spreads over the entire page.

You sitting on your stool in front of your canvas, painting Evanescence. The atelier is behind you in great detail, the curtains seem to dance in the breeze and even the sunlight looks as if it was real.

You flip the page again.

A portrait of you, perfectly replicated and oh so pretty. Jungkook hasn’t finished the shading on your right side yet.

You lift your gaze from the book.

“Holy shit”, you press out.

Jungkook is drawing you. That would explain why he replicated your eyes so perfectly. Because he had drawn them a hundred times before.

You press the book to your chest and let out a shaky laugh.

This is a book filled with your face. Jungkook filled his space most private with doodles of you. You understand now why Jieun wanted him to throw it away. But Jungkook didn’t. Jungkook broke up with her because he wanted to keep it. He wanted to keep those drawings. He chose drawing you secretly over dating Jieun openly.

“Holy fuck”, you murmur, feeling yourself tear up.

That is when the doorbell rings and you are reminded that you weren’t alone.

“Can you get it? I’m still naked!” Jungkook calls out from the bathroom.

“Uh, yeah. Sure I’ll get it!” you tell him, feeling beyond embarrassed.

You just invaded his privacy. Quick! You need to hide the book again!

The apartment already smells like pizza when Jungkook comes outside, dressed in his bathrobe and with his hair wet.

“I’m so hungry already”, he says, strutting past you, “give me a minute and I’ll be back.”

You look at him as he walks past you, feeling so freaking giddy in your chest that it becomes hard to breathe.

Jungkook returns in his pjs and his wet hair combed out of his face for practicality. You however feel close to swooning because he is so attractive to you all of a sudden. He is here. With his face all bare and his hair all wet and his body in comfy pjs while a sketchbook full of you fills his backbag.

He sits next to you and opens his pizza carton.

“Mhhhm that looks so yummy. I’ll enjoy it well”, he says and then goes complete apeshit on the poor pizza. On normal days you can’t watch him eat pizza. It not only disgusts you but also angers you because Jungkook does not enjoy the experience he just shoves piece after piece into his mouth and chews aggressively. But tonight you can’t stop staring. You can’t stop staring at the way his fingers hold the slice, the way he bites off a piece, how his lips are covered in the reddish grease and look so much pinker, how he swallows and then goes for another bite.

“Mhm seriously, tonight’s a good night”, he sighs, leaning back and chewing the pizza with closed eyes, “I took a bath, have pizza and can spend time with you.”

You look away, hiding your burning cheeks behind your hands and hoping that Jungkook doesn’t notice just how giddy you suddenly are.

“Yeah, tonight’s good”, you say to which Jungkook hums in agreement and then snatches a new slice of pizza.

“Jungkook”, Taehyung says, sitting down aggressively, “what the hell?”

The conversations you and the others had stop, eyes flitting to Taehyung. He was angry.

“You broke up with Jieun?”

“Dude what?” Namjoon gasps.

“I did”, Jungkook says and nods his head.

“Why?” Taehyung laughs in disbelief, “you guys were perfect for each other.”

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders, “we turned out that we weren’t”, he says nonchalantly.

“I don’t get it. She was totally your type and shared the same hobbies as you. What could not be perfect about her?"

“She just wasn’t”, Jungkook grumbles, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “I’m not gonna waste my time with someone I don’t even like.”

“Damn”, Hoseok says.

“Well someone ain’t sugarcoating shit”, Yoongi says.

“Hah”, Taehyung scoffs, “that’s like mind boggling. Goddamn I was so sure that she was right for you.”

“Sorry hyung, but I’m better off single.”

“Mhm”, Taehyung studies Jungkook’s features, “doesn’t matter. I have someone else for you. Her name’s Sally, very sweet girl and also totally your type.”

Your stomach twists in jealousy.

“Here, that’s her.”

Goddamn she is pretty and totally Jungkook’s type. You are feeling anxious again.

Jungkook looks at her and shakes his head.

“No thank you. I think I’m gonna give up on dating again.”

A million pounds lift from your heart.

“Are you serious?” Seokjin gasps.

Jungkook nods his head.

“Well, did you at least kiss Jieun before breaking up?” Jimin asks.

“No?” Jungkook scoffs, “how weird would that have been?”

You didn’t want to ask Jungkook if he had kissed Jieun or not, so hearing him deny it makes you feel so fluttery in your chest.

Jimin studies his friend’s face.

“Damn, I couldn’t live like you. I think my balls would literally explode.”

“Yeah well”, Jungkook just shrugs his shoulders.

“Don’t you wanna know how it feels? Kissing? That shit feels so nice and you don’t want to feel that?”

“Of course I do.”

“So why are you not taking Tae’s offer? She is a pretty girl.”

“Because I don’t work like that”, Jungkook grumbles, growing angry, “now can you stop obsessing over the fact that I’m a virgin.”

“You’re a virgin?” Yoongi gasps.

Jungkook is as silent as a graveyard, face beet red and eyes widened.

“No way, you’re a virgin”, Jimin gasps, throwing his hand over his mouth, “that explains so much.”

“So you never had sex or kissed someone? So you lied in Never Have I Ever, the sacred game? Oh my god JK!” Seokjin gasps.

“Damn Jungkook, I’m so sorry for you”, Hoseok says, patting Jungkook’s back brotherly.

Jungkook stands up and runs with his head hanging low.

“Hey Kook! Don’t run away!” Namjoon calls after him.

You stand up as well, sending them all icy glares.

“You guys are being real dicks about it”, you hiss

“What did we do?” Taehyung asks with genuine confusion in his voice.

“You know what you did”, you spit and turn to leave.

Jungkook is in the campus park just outside the cafeteria, sitting on a bench. He doesn’t hear you come over, flinching when you place your hand on his upper back. He lifts his head, giving view to his teary eyes.

“Hey”, you say, watching the tears roll down his red cheeks.

“Don’t l-look a-at m-me”, he stutters, hiding his face behind his hands.

You know that he is crying because he is embarrassed. Poor boy. You pull him into your side, rubbing his arm soothingly.

“They didn’t mean any harm in it.”

“I-it’s still so m-mean.”

“I know”, begin playing with his hair to soothe him, “for what’s it worth I think you were really cool standing up for yourself like that.”

Jungkook sniffles, looking up at you.

“I made a total fool of myself.”

“Nah you didn’t. They were really weird about it.”

Jungkook isn’t crying anymore. He is just pouting with his big eyes all glassy. You reach out and brush his tears away. It makes him close his eyes and his lips part. He is so pretty. With his delicate features and his fluffy hair and his red cheeks. He is seriously so pretty.

Jungkook opens his eyes.

“Do you think I should have just gone through with it?” he asks, “maybe I have to force myself to my luck and just fuck someone.”

“No, nope. Bad idea. Don’t do that. This will only end in regret and you thinking of sex in a bad light. Don’t do it Kook.”

“But what if I’ll never find someone?”

You take a deep breath, dancing your thumb over his cheekbone and wishing it was his upper lip instead.

“You’ll find someone, I promise you”, you tell him, pulling your hand away before you actually touch his lips.

“___?”

“Yeah?” you mumble, half-asleep.

“Can I come in?”

“Mh-hm.”

The door closes and with it the room becomes dark again. You hear the padding of his naked feet then the soft ruffling of him climbing on the bed and pulling the blanket over his body. You don’t open your eyes, not because you don’t want to, but because you’re so tired that it’s impossible.

“I have something to tell you”, he says.

“Okay, go ahead. I’m listening.”

“Okay, uhm.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath. And we are talking deep. That man wants his lungs to inflate like a balloon with the amount of air he is inhaling. He exhales through his mouth before taking another breath.

“Can you take my virginity?”

“Mhm sure”, you murmur, drifting off to sleep.

Sudden realisation.

“What?” you yelled the word, wide awake instantly, “excuse the motherfucking me. What did you just ask me?”

“I’m just so fed up with it. I don’t want the guys to be all weird about it anymore and I wanna be able to drink when someone says never have I had sex and I just wanna not be a virgin anymore And I, I did some thinking a-and it would make sense.”

“Nah, no”, you sit up, “it doesn’t make sense that you think that it makes sense.”

“What?” Jungkook asks, blinking in confusion.

“I get that you are fed up with it. But why on earth do you think that me taking your virginity makes sense?”

“Because I know you”, Jungkook sits up, “I feel like I’ve developed a deep enough bond with you that it wouldn’t be awkward. A-and you are experienced so you, you could show me what to do.”

“Dude”, you touch your forehead to rub it vigorously, “you just verbally punched me in the stomach.”

“I’m sorry”, Jungkook grows smaller, “I just thought that maybe this could be the solution to everything. I can say that I had sex before a-and I know you so I’d feel comfortable too and you could give me tips f-for the future. So I can be all experienced with girls.”

“I can give you tips without fucking you Kook.”

“But then…” he lowers his gaze, “…I’d still be a virgin”, he whispers.

“Jesus christ, you’re doing things to me”, you murmur, feeling dizzy.

“It was just an idea, just forget it”, he says panicky, “I just thought that maybe you could do me the favour and help me be less of a loser.”

“You’re not a loser Kook just cause you’re a virgin so get that shit outta your head real fast.”

Jungkook lowers his head, touching his ears.

“I’m sorry. This was such a bad idea. Can we please act like I never said anything?”

“I guess. I don’t know.”

“I’m gonna leave now”, he says and rolls out of bed, “sleep tight.”

“You too?”

The door closes and you are left in your shock. You will toss and turn for the next three hours before exhaustion literally forces you to fall asleep.

Jungkook is sitting in the kitchen the next morning, visibly tensing up when you come inside.

“Morning”, you murmur, feeling awkward.

“Morning”, he answers you, feeling the same.

You shimmy from one foot to the other.

“I made you coffee”, Jungkook says, pushing a cup of coffee over the table.

“Thanks”, you accept it and take a sip. It tastes delicious, just the way you like it.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did, but if you wanna know the truth I didn’t”, you say, eyes lingering on his lips, “I couldn’t fall asleep.”

“Yeah, uh. Neither could I.”

You and him look away, sipping on your coffees nervously.

“What do you have planned today?” he asks.

“Nothing much, I’m just gonna paint.”

“Okay, I’ll go to the gym later.”

“Okay, do that.”

You exchange an awkward gaze. Jungkook touches his ears. You clear your throat loudly.

“Anyways, I think I’m gonna start with the painting now. The light’s good right now.”

“Yeah sure do that.”

You leave the kitchen, feeling so confused and nervous and awkward that you wanted to explode. And not in a sexy kind of way but a bomb and destruction kind of way.

You are still painting when Jungkook comes home from the gym. He doesn’t go to you to say hello, but goes straight for the shower. He comes to the atelier once he is clean, wearing a black oversized tee and grey wide-legged pants. His hair is also still damp.

“I’m back”, he announces himself.

You sneak a glance at him, feeling nervous in an instant.

He can’t just come here looking like this after he asked you if you could take his virginity! It is like he wants to make your life a living hell.

“Hey”, you say, looking back at your painting.

Jungkook claims his spot and opens his sketchbook. The same exact sketchbook which is filled with drawings of you. You sneak a glance his way. He is concentrated on his drawing, not noticing your gaze. Is he currently working on the portrait again? Is he shading your cheekbone until it looks like yours?

You look back at your painting, gliding the brush over the canvas with trembling hands.

Jungkook told you that he only wants to have sex with someone he has an emotional connection with. Jungkook made many connections in the last few months and yet somehow he wants you to take his virginity. His sketchbook is filled with drawings of you, he broke up with Jieun so he could continue drawing you and he wants you to be his First. Could it be.

You look at him.

Does he like you too?

Jungkook lifts his head, locking eyes with you.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“I don’t know yet”, you murmur, turning your head back to the painting but keeping your eyes on Jungkook for as long as possible.

He is the one to break the eye contact first, looking into his sketchbook with pink cheeks. You mix yellow with green, adding some orange as well. You are looking for one very specific type of brown.

“What are you working on?” you ask him.

“Oh, just some doodles. Nothing important really.”

“Okay”, you say, adding a little bit more yellow, “what drawings did Jieun see, which made her want to throw your sketchbook away?”

You hear the sound of his pencil stopping.

“Just stuff.”

“Stuff”, you repeat, sneaking a glance at him, “what kinda stuff?”

Jungkook laughs nervously, touching his ears.

“It’s stupid, you don’t wanna know.”

“Mhm”, you let out, poking a brush into the paint before swirling it over the canvas.

Jungkook begins drawing again, sneaking glances your way every now and then.

“Is it creepy stuff?” you decide to play dumb.

“N-no it’s not.”

You turn your head to him.

“Sexual stuff?”

He shakes his head vigorously.

“Gore?”

“No, it’s just some weird stuff. It’s not even worth mentioning.”

“Can I see?”

Jungkook widens his eyes.

“Uuh s-sure?”

You get up in an instant, hurrying to his desk. Jungkook shows you the page with the nature stuff. He is so sneaky, good god.

“Look, it’s just weird doodles.”

“Huh. Does she have something against birds?”

“I guess?” he laughs nervously.

“Can I see more?”

“Uh, uhm. Yeah”, Jungkook flips the page and shows you the city doodles.

“Pretty, it’s so weird that she has something against those drawings.”

“Yeah totally. So weird.”

You look at his face.

“What were you working on right now?”

“Nothing?”

You snort, cocking up an eyebrow at him. Jungkook looks between your face and his sketchbook nervously, gnawing on his lower lip. When he realises that you would not stop looking at him he gives up with a loud sigh.

He takes a deep breath and flips the pages until he lands on the portrait of you. Well you didn’t expect that. You would have expected him to find some sort of obvious lie as to why he can’t show it to you, but not for him to actually reveal his secret. Is this his subtle way of showing you his real feelings?

You look at the drawing. The shading is almost done. Then you look at Jungkook. He has his head and eyes lowered, blushing vividly with his hands hidden between his legs.

“This is me.”

“Yeah, I know”, he whispers.

You reach out to flip the book to the drawing of the atelier.

“Fuck”, he says under his breath, burying his fingers in his hair before curling into a little ball, “I’m sorry ___.”

“For what?”

“I’m such a creep.”

“Are those the drawings Jieun saw?”

Jungkook nods his head.

“Well damn Kook, no wonder she was mad. I’d be upset too if the guy I fancied is filling his sketchbooks with drawings of his best friend.”

He groans, making himself even smaller.

“You know what? I wanna show you something.”

Jungkook watches as you get your drawing pad from your desk. You place it on top of his sketchbook.

“Open it.”

Jungkook opens it and starts flipping through it. It starts as paintings of landscapes and still lives. Until it slowly morphs into more and more person centric paintings. And slowly but surely the people in those paintings gain the features of Jungkook, his hair, his smile, his body. Jungkook lands on the last page, staring at the painting of him sitting by his desk.

Jungkook lifts his head, eyes glassy.

“What are those?” he presses out with his voice shaking.

“They were my greatest shame once, but these days I like to call them the visual representation of me falling for my best friend.”

“___”, he whispers, lower lip beginning to tremble.

“Don’t you cry on me now”, you say, nudging his arm, “I’ll cry too.”

Jungkook laughs but it sounds more like a sob than a laugh. You laugh too, feeling tears roll down your cheek. You nudge his arm again.

“You’re not the only one being creepy, Kook.”

He giggles, rubbing the sleeve of his shirt over his eyes. Then he looks up at you, giving you a blindingly bright smile. He stands up and closes his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Oh Kook”, you whisper, hugging him back just as tightly.

He laughs and sobs, holding you in this one distinct way he always wanted to hold you. Tight, safe and with no distance between your bodies. This is the best day of his life.

You break away from him just enough that you and him could look at each other. You cup his cheeks, squishing them because all you wanted to do was squeeze his cute face.

Jungkook sniffles and laughs, giving you his prettiest smile. His eyes are sparkling so much, making you feel so beautiful.

You step closer, pulling him closer as well.

Jungkook stops laughing, eyes falling closed. His heart is racing so much.

This is his moment. You feel so nervous because you want to give him the best first kiss a human has ever experienced. He deserves it. For being the most amazing person in your life.

You draw closer, rubbing the tip of your nose against his’. He sighs and twists the fabric of your shirt.

You pull back again, making his breath tremble and his eyelids flutter. One soft touch of your thumb dancing right over his upper lip. He parts them and furrows his brows.

“You’re so handsome Jungkook”, you whisper, drawing closer again to kiss his cheek.

“Oh”, Jungkook lets out softly, opening his eyes just enough to look at you.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him.

He nods his head, closing his eyes again. He even holds his breath, sticking his lips out for the kiss. He is so cute, if you didn’t want to kiss him that badly you would have chuckled at his cute gestures. But you don’t. You don’t laugh, you kiss him.

You can hear how Jungkook takes a sharp inhale through his nose before he exhales shakily, tickling your cheek with it. He tries to kiss you back. His attempt is clumsy and ends with you having way too much of his spit on your lips.

You smile and pull him closer. You couldn’t wish for anything better.

Jungkook whimpers and licks over your lips before trying to bite them. You chuckle.

“Slow Kook, slow”, you whisper.

“It feels so good”, he answers you.

“I know, just let me…” you drift off, sucking on his lower lip gently before releasing it and kissing him slowly.

Jungkook sighs, calming down now that you control the tempo.

Gentle sucks, slow kisses, tender licks. You show him just how good kissing can feel all while getting lost in him at the same time. He tastes so good. Sweet like candy. He also has the softest lips you have ever felt. Like kissing heaven.

You break the kiss to give both of you a moment to breathe. You use the opportunity to look at his face. His cheeks are red, his eyes closed and his pink lips parted to catch his breath.

You claim them in a kiss again, eliciting the shiest of sounds from him. His fingers twitch on your upper back, trying to grasp more of you but failing. Your own fingers are running over his scalp, wanting to give him only the best sensations. His hair is so, so soft. You don’t ever want to stop touching it.

He gives you a shy lick, eliciting a soft moan from you. He is getting better at it already. Jungkook is a natural at many things and it seems that kissing is one of those things as well. He still uses way too much spit and every now and then his teeth clash with yours awkwardly, but his lips are slow and he makes sure to move them in sync with yours. He is also beginning to suck on your lower lip at the right moments and it is without teeth and excessive biting. Just soft sucks before he lets you guide the movements again. He is truly so good at it.

You and him break the kiss at the same time, needing some time to catch your breath. This time around Jungkook opens his eyes as well, carrying the prettiest of galaxies in them.

“How was that for a first kiss?” you whisper.

“It’s the best feeling ever”, he breathes and places your hand over his heart, “my heart’s racing so much.”

You pull his hand over your heart, showing him that he wasn’t alone.

“Mine too.”

He giggles, growing smaller in giddiness.

“Do you really like me?” he asks.

“Yes Kook, so much that it’s unhealthy.”

“I like you too since I was twenty two.”

“Wow”, you gasp.

Jungkook draws closer, “can we do it again?” he asks, closing his eyes in anticipation.

You answer him by kissing him deeply. He has liked you since he was twenty two. Two years. He has liked you for two years now. This makes you want to never ever stop kissing him.

You and him will kiss for a long time that day. You will kiss until your lips are tender and your fingers have memorised every inch of the other’s body.

Jungkook was in the bathroom for now. It was still the same day just a little later. You are in his room, preparing a hopefully nice surprise for him. It will be a complete shot in the dark and could end with him being overwhelmed, but you want to take that risk. You finish the last touches and hurry out of his room with giddiness in your chest. You close his door behind you and then sit down in the living room. Two minutes later Jungkook comes out of the bathroom, wearing his pjs.

So now you are both freshly showered and in your pjs. The image is so familiar and yet tonight it feels so exciting to experience.

“I’m back”, he announces, fumbling with his thumbs nervously, "and I brushed my teeth in case you wanted to make out more", he explains, waddling to the couch.

You don’t let him sit down, taking both his hands and tugging on them softly.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I have to show you something.”

“Okay?” he lets you lead him to his room, “is it in my room?”

“Mh-hm”, you nod your head and squeeze his hands, “close your eyes.”

Jungkook obeys, even going as far as to cover them with his hands. He is seriously so endearing.

You open the door first then place your hands on his arms to lead him into his room safely.

“Ready?” you ask him to which he nods his head, “okay, open your eyes.”

Jungkook pulls his hands away and opens his eyes. He gasps, parting his lips. His lights are turned off, but his room wasn’t dark. Instead dozens and dozens of candles cover every surface of his furniture, painting everything in warm light. Your art music starts playing and Jungkook turns his head to see that you have pressed play on your phone.

You lock eyes with him.

“What is this?” he asks in a whisper.

“It’s my answer.”

“Your answer?”

“If I can take your virginity.”

“Oh”, he lets out and lets his eyes run over his room again. He touches his chest, cheeks heating up.

“I thought I’d set up the surprise in your room so you’re in a familiar and safe environment”, you explain.

Jungkook lets his eyes linger on his bed.

“There’s of course no pressure here. We can do something else too. Cuddle or make out or play boardgames or something”, you say nervously, scratching the side of your neck.

Jungkook turns to you.

“Sorry if I overwhelmed you”, you murmur, feeling your cheeks heat up.

He shakes his head and steps closer to take you into a grateful hug. His cheek is resting on your shoulder and his arms are around your waist. It makes you feel as if you are floating.

“Thank you so much”, he whispers.

You smile, caressing his back.

“So you like it?”

He nods his head, making your smile grow.

“I’m so happy you do. Oh Kook, I wanna make your first time so special.”

“It’s already special because it’s with you”, he whispers, making your heart flutter uncontrollably.

He steps back, giving view to his pretty smile. He lets you cup his face in your hands, even going so far as to making himself smaller for you. You caress his cheekbones with your thumbs, mesmerised by every inch of him.

“So do you wanna have it tonight?”

“Yes, I do."

You and him exchange a smile. He lowers his eyes shyly.

“You j-just have to tell me what to do because I have no idea what’s good”, he murmurs.

“That’s alright, tonight’s about you anyway. I’ll treat you so well.”

“Wow hah”, he lets out a breathy laugh, shimmying from one foot to the other and tugging at the crotch of his shorts, “is it weird that this made me a little hard?”

You chuckle, “no, it’s hot.”

“Okay uhm…” he stops talking and leans in with his lips puckered and so ready to kiss you. This time around you can’t help but giggle, stopping him with a gentle squeeze. He peels his eyes open, keeping his lips pouted.

“You’re so cute”, you chuckle, tracing his lips, “slow down sweets, we’ll take it step by step, alright?”

He relaxes his lips and laughs nervously, “yeah okay, sorry I’m just so excited.”

“It’s alright. Come on, let’s sit down.”

You and him sit down on his bed, both of you cross-legged and facing the other. You are holding hands, caressing the other’s skin with your thumbs.

You have honestly never felt more excited for sex than you do tonight. One night stands, quickies with strangers, casual relationships. Nothing – nothing – could have prepared you for the excitement you feel tonight. It makes your heart race and makes you feel short of breath. But it is not a bad feeling. It is amazing. Because for the first time in forever – maybe even for the actual first time – you are having sex with someone you have feelings for. And that feeling is epic.

“Do you have any wishes on how you want this to go?” you ask him.

Jungkook lowers his head and giggles shyly.

“N-no?” he stutters, obviously not wanting to tell.

“No? So no things you wanna try or fantasies?”

He pulls his hands away, hiding his face behind them. He is even rocking himself back and forth.

“It’s so embarrassing to tell”, he confesses.

“It’s alright Kook, I won’t judge you.”

He shows you his face to say one single word before he hides it again.

“Blowjobs.”

“Ah I see. That sounds nice. I’ll make sure to include it.”

At that he drops his hands, looking at you with sparkling eyes. It seems that he slowly but surely realises that there is seriously no shame or judgment here and that you are actually trying to make this as enjoyable for him as possible.

“A-and neck kisses”, he stutters, touching his own neck.

“Of course, those are mandatory.”

He giggles, hiding his mouth behind his hand.

“A-and I wanna see your boobies”, he whispers, “oh god sorry”, he gasps, closing his eyes.

You chuckle, “a man of taste so I see. Okay, I’ll show you my boobs.”

You reach out and hold his hands again, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Anything else?”

He shakes his head, gulping nervously.

“Okay. Do you want to lie down for me?”

Jungkook obeys, head sinking into the pillow and fingers fumbling with his shirt. You lie down on your stomach next to his body, resting your chest on his and playing with his hair.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes", he nods his head vigorously, "I'm so excited."

"Me too Kook", you tell him and draws closer.

Jungkook inhales deeply and closes his eyes, sticking his lips out.

You stumble into the kiss whilst smiling. He is seriously so adorable. Jungkook exhales shakily and touches your shoulders. His lips tremble as you kiss him, wanting to go fast again. But you don’t give him the chance, showing him the tempo with skilled moves and soft moans.

Jungkook relaxes and sighs, he rests his hands on your chest. It makes you smile again because he gives your breasts a shy squeeze almost as if he wanted to test the waters. Also his gesture was so sweet. Him grabbing your tits just like that. Other guys would have gotten a slap on their faces for it, but with Jungkook it feels exciting.

“Do you like that?” you ask him.

“Yeah, they’re so soft”, he says, squeezing them again.

“You’re so cute Kook”, you whisper, kissing him again. Jungkook shivers and relaxes completely. His hands may squeeze and massage your breasts quite eagerly but his lips are slow and soon enough his tongue knows what to do as well.

This turns you on so much. Everything about it. Jungkook. The kisses. The touches. Jungkook.

"Kook", you break the kiss, "you turn me on so much."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so much", you breathe, kissing him again.

Jungkook lets out a shy sound, abandoning your chest to touch your back instead. He lets his hands run up and down your spine continuously, giving you an involuntary squeeze each time you let your tongue trace his lips. He also makes a cute sound each time that happens. They are enough to make you rub your legs together.

You kiss Jungkook for a long time that night. Slow kisses meant to guide and relax him. Deep kisses when he just tastes too good and you have to make sure to get all of him. Slow kisses again, barely there pecks and soft licks. Fast kisses when Jungkook is growing impatient again and you allow him a short moment to live out his desires. Short breaks for air used to litter his face with kisses. Long breaks for air used to gaze at the other. Slow kisses, deep and fast kisses, passionate kisses.

You on top of him. Hands on your hips, fingers in his hair. Messy kisses, pants for air, even messier kisses.

Your lips are swollen when you truly pull back again. Jungkook licks his tender lips, gazing up at you with half-lidded yet sparkly eyes. He giggles quietly, you retort it.

"I know what you mean now", he says.

"What do you mean?"

"Kissing is amazing. E-especially when you can have sex afterwards."

You smile, "right? It’s one of the best things you can do with someone."

"Next to sex?" Jungkook asks, making you laugh.

"Is this your not so subtle way of asking for the next step?"

Jungkook blushes, "I don’t know. I'm nervous."

"I get it, but don’t be. It’s just me and I'm here to make you feel good."

"Mhm", he furrows his brows and squirms slightly, "w-whenever you say that I feel it in my penis."

"Your penis?" you can’t help but grin.

Jungkook cringes, "was this weird to say?"

"Nah, it’s just funny hearing the medical term for it."

"Oh, okay", he blushes, "my d-dick?"

"Oh Kook", you lean down and kiss his cheek, "that sounds sexier yeah."

"Okay noted. So vagina is off the table too?"

"Just call her pussy, it’s hotter."

"Got it", he nods his head obediently.

You study his face almost feeling like bursting. He is so sweet and loveable and he is the most handsome man ever and he is your best friend and now your lover too. This is the best day in your life.

"Should we take our shirts off?" you suggest.

"Uh, sure", he murmurs nervously.

"Let's take it slow, okay?" you calm him down by connecting your lips with his neck.

His back arches off the mattress, he gasps for air loudly, his heart beats irregularly under your lips. Then he begins fidgeting with his legs, hips shimmying from side to side as well. So you lift your head to study his face.

He seems like his entire world just changed. Lips forming the perfect O and eyes widened.

"How's that?" you ask him.

Jungkook touches the spot you kissed, blinking slowly.

"That good?"

He nods his head.

"Good", you say, connecting your lips with the other side of his neck.

He rolls his head to the side and whimpers quietly. His eyes are squeezed shut, his fingers twisting the sheets. You don’t know just how deeply affected he is right now. He will never ever be able to forget this feeling. It is burned into his brain and skin.

You kiss his jawline next, feeling it move under your lips as he opens his mouth for air. For just a second and then you kiss the other side of his neck, caressing the one you previously kissed with your fingers.

"This feels so good", he whispers, "ah.."

You linger on his neck, letting your hand wander to different places. His shoulder, his chest, down his side and to his tummy. You change sides, eliciting another sigh from Jungkook. Then you begin touching up and down his stomach, making sure that you would tug up his shirt little by little. So little in fact that Jungkook doesn’t even notice at first, lost in your neck kisses, until the warmth of your fingertips lingers on his lower stomach.

"Wait."

You lift your head, retreating your hand.

"Too fast?"

"No, I’m just so weird about it. Sorry I panicked."

"It's alright. Have you ever been naked in front of somebody?"

"Yeah, in front of my mom when I was a boy."

You look at him.

"Oh god, that sounded so unsexy, I’m so sorry", he says and hides behind his hands.

"It's alright", you assure him in a chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I’m literally such an unsexy mess. First I say penis and then I mention my mom."

"Kook, you’re aight", you assure him and pull his hands away from his face, "why don’t I undress first?"

"Really?"

You nod your head and sit back. Undressing in front of Jungkook is scary and weird and makes you feel so nervous. But you are willing to take those feelings when it means that he can have a comfortable experience. Besides, it is only really scary for the first few seconds and then Jungkook's flabbergasted yet completely starstruck expression makes you feel so incredibly sexy.

"Holy shit you are so beautiful", he whispers.

"Yeah? Do you like them?"

He nods his head vigorously, "they are so perfect. So...so pretty a-and wow. ___ I don’t wanna look away."

"Gosh, you’re gonna make me fluster", you confess.

"Can I maybe touch? Maybe? Please?" he asks shyly, "just for a second. Maybe?"

"Of course you can touch them. Go ahead."

"Thank you", he murmurs mindlessly, placing his hands on your tummy to guide them up your torso. His palms are soft and warm. His thumbs touch them first, running along the swell of them.

"Wow", he whispers, placing the rest of his hands on them, "wow okay, wow."

Wow indeed. In his completely mesmerised nature his touches are slow and placed with intent. He doesn’t even know just how good he makes you feel. Without even trying, Jungkook does exactly the things you like so much. Warm, soft palms rolling over your nipples, strong yet tender fingers massaging your flesh, fingernails tickling your skin every now and then. You are in heaven.

"I can't stop touching them", Jungkook confesses, "___ they are so pretty and soft and warm and nice."

"Thank you", you say, voice slightly lowered in arousal.

"Are you sensitive there? Do you feel what I'm doing?"

"Yes Kook, I feel it and I'm in heaven."

"This is wow", he whispers, touching your nipples with his pointer fingers. They harden under his touch, making him widen his eyes in wonder. You moan softly, making his eyes flit to your face. Jungkook rolls his fingers over your nipples to test your reaction.

"Yes", you sigh.

"Wow", he feels his heart begin to race in excitement, "does it really feel that good?"

"Yes, so good", you tell him slightly breathless.

Jungkook gulps and feels his dick twitch in his pyjama pants.

"This makes me hard too."

"Mhm", you hum, looking at his crotch and the very prominent dent behind his pants, "I can see. Do you want me to take care of it?"

"Maybe? But c-can you do it slowly?"

"Of course. I'll take off your shirt first and then massage you for a little. How does that sound?"

"Kinda sexy", he says and giggles shyly.

"I know, right?" you caress his tummy, "come now sweets work with me."

The aspect of getting a massage mixed with the view of your boobs made Jungkook comfortable enough that taking off his shirt doesn’t feel scary anymore. He throws it on the floor and lies back down. He has your hands on his torso in an instant, feeling them run along his every inch. It feels so good that he has to close his eyes.

"Jungkook seriously, I've never seen someone with a more perfect body than you. You’re making me want to paint you shirtless."

"Oh god", he giggles shyly with his cock twitching in his pants. He feels so good inside and also out.

"Do you want to lay on your tummy now?"

He follows, whining softly when this puts pressure on his cock. You help him get comfortable with your hands on his hips. Jungkook feels the touch so well that he has to bite down on the tip of his tongue in order not to moan. You are guiding his movements. Somehow this is so sexy to him.

“There we go”, you say, running your palms all the way from his hips up to the beginning of his pits. You do that motion repeatedly, watching how this covers his skin in goosebumps and how he closes his eyes.

You rest yourself on top of him, making sure your boobs are snug against his back and your lips ghost over the shell of his ear.

“Relax sweets, I’m gonna send you to heaven and back”, you whisper, making him squirm and blush furiously.

“Oh god w-why are you so good at sexy t-talk?” he stutters, having to giggle.

You grin, pecking his cheek, “practice. Now”, you sit back up, making yourself comfortable on the back of his legs, “let’s get started.”

You laid out a few things for tonight. Condoms, lube, oils and his favourite snacks and water for later. This is supposed to be his evening and you want to make sure that it is going to be perfect. You open the bottle of massage oil and let some trickle along his spine.

“Oh”, he lets out and giggles, moving his back from side to side, “what’s that?”

“Oil for the massage”, the bottle does a little click as you close it again then it does a thump as you place it back on his bedside table. You place your hands on his back and begin spreading the oil in big circular motions.

Jungkook tenses up before he relaxes in a shiver.

“Wow”, he just can’t stop saying that word. Everything just feels so good and amazing and wonderful that he can barely believe that it is actually happening to him.

You and him are silent for a while, floating on the sensations and letting the music do the rest. And while you touch his perfect back, you can’t stop letting your eyes run over every inch of it. You have never seen Jungkook shirtless before. This was your rule. You do not look at the other when they are fresh out of the shower or in only their underwear. Jungkook obeyed the rule and in return you obeyed it as well.

So seeing him shirtless with his strong muscles and those pretty dimples on his lower back leaves so many tingles in your stomach. He is so handsome. You stop on his lower back, tracing the slight indent where his spine is running up his back. So pretty. Jungkook is so mesmerising.

You abandon his lower back to travel along each side of his spine, rolling small circles on his skin. You reach his shoulder blades, outlining them with your thumbs all while massaging some of the tension out of them.

Jungkook makes a tiny sound.

“Too hard?” you ask him.

He shakes his head, “it feels so good”, he lulls, drooling on his pillow.

“I’m glad it does. You have such a sexy back”, you praise and opposite of what you are saying you run your hands along his relaxed arms.

Jungkook shifts and flutters his eyelids.

“And your arms are so nice too. I can see that you’re working out really hard.”

He giggles, hiding his eyes behind his hand. He is so giddy. You think his workouts pay off. This makes him feel so handsome and good.

You run your hands down his arms, reaching his back again. Down and down you go, shimmying down his legs until you rest between them. You place your hands on his thighs.

“Ah”, he lets out, parting his legs on instinct. He feels breathless. He didn’t think that it is possible for him to feel that turned on, but he does. He feels so restless and hot. You begin massaging him, touching the back of his thighs first before slowly but surely sneaking closer to the inside of them.

He sighs, lifting his hips from the mattress just to roll them down a second later.

“How’s that Kook?” you ask him, putting pressure into your touch and drawing circles.

“I-I-“, his voice cuts off as he lets out a shuddering breath instead. His hips lift and roll down again. You can watch how this makes his butt tense and relax.

You run your hands closer to his middle, making the tips of your fingers disappear under the wide legs of his pants. You are just inches away from the beginning of his buttocks, kneading his muscles in ways that go straight to his cock.

“Oh god”, he whispers, burying his face in the pillow to muffle the involuntary moan he lets out. You can watch how his back begins to heave up and down quickly and when you take a look down you can see that he began flexing and relaxing his toes repeatedly.

You grant him one gentle touch, running it along the swell of his butt and making sure that it would tickle his balls just slightly.

He flinches, scooting up a good two inches involuntarily. He laughs breathily, sneaking a shy glance down at you. His cheeks are so pink, his pretty eyes glassy.

“Do you want more sweets?” you ask him.

He hides his mouth behind his fist and nods his head shyly.

“Yeah?”

He puts more vigour into his nods, giving you big puppy eyes.

“So why don’t you roll over and I’ll suck your cock?”

Jungkook obeys with shaky knees, pressing his tiny fists into his chest as he looks up at you shyly. You claim his lips in a kiss before doing anything else, making sure that he can feel your boobs rub against his chest. It makes him open his fists and touch your back instead. Slow, deep kisses with tongue and encouraging moans on your side and Jungkook feels himself stumble further and further into this warm fuzzy space you created. And while you kiss him and silence all the worry in his mind, your left hand begins touching his torso. You play with his nipples for a while, realizing that this makes Jungkook kiss you back sloppily. You also realise that if you pinch them, he flinches and loses his rhythm for a good moment until you lead him back on the right path again.

Once his nipples are swollen and oh so sensitive, you move further down his torso, tracing his abs whilst whispering praises against his lips. Jungkook lets out a shy giggle each time you do, tasting even sweeter when you kiss him.

But then you begin playing with the hem of his pants and Jungkook’s lips still.

“It’s alright sweets, it’ll feel good”, you encourage him in a whisper, nibbling on his lower lip gently.

“___”, he says, making his lip slip from your teeth.

“You’re doing so well”, you praise, trailing your kisses to his neck instead.

Jungkook sucks in air through his teeth and shivers.

"Good", he whispers and sighs.

Good that means he stops worrying again. In one swift movement, you slip your hand inside his pants and begin running it up and down his terribly swollen cock.

“Oh my god”, he gasps and reaches for your wrist with both hands.

You lift your head, making eye contact with him for only a second and then he looks to the side in embarrassment.

“How’s that Kook?”

“Mh-hm”, is all he can get out and then he feels so embarrassed about the entire situation that he has to close his eyes.

“Relax sweets, your reactions are perfect”, you assure him, watching him peel his eyes open, “there we go, you’re doing so well. I’ll start with the blowjob now, alright?”

He is still looking to the side but he nods his head vigorously.

"Yes? Can you tell me that you want it?"

"I, I want it", he whispers shyly.

"You are so perfect", you praise, lowering your lips to his chest. You begin kissing him, starting on his pecs and drawing them down his torso like perfectly placed paint strokes. You linger on his lower stomach just that little bit longer, eliciting the sweetest of sounds from him.

He is so sensitive. It tickles but he doesn’t want it to stop or flee from it. That tickle feels different than normal ones, it starts wherever you kiss him and then goes straight down to his cock. It actually reaches such intensity that he soon wants to reach down and cup his cock just so he could relieve some of that pressure.

"More please", he asks quietly.

You answer him by shimmy down his body and sitting down between his legs. Your hands are resting on his hips, fingers hooked in the hem of his pants.

"Lift your butt for me", you say and Jungkook obeys.

His pants leave his body easily, landing somewhere on his bed. Holy moly. Jungkook is gawking at you with scared eyes, looking between his exposed cock and your face. He is naked. Completely buttnaked. Do you like it? Do you think that he is too small, too big? Does he smell weird? Wait, did he make sure to wash his dick today? Yeah, he did. Or did he? Oh no, Jungkook can’t remember if he did. Do you not like it?

“Wow Jungkook, your cock is so perfect”, you gasp, taking it between your fingers to jerk it off slowly.

Jungkook’s mind shuts up immediately. Warm electricity shoots through his dick.

“Ah”, he lets out, mouth falling open in bliss.

“I can’t wait to taste it”, you taunt, drawing closer and closer. You lock eyes with him and stick your tongue out. One last playful smirk and then you finally flick it over his cockhead.

“Hngng”, Jungkook mewls, ripping his eyes open widely. He grows restless within seconds, legs squirming on the mattress.

“So delicious”, you rasp, taking in his tip and sucking slowly.

“Ah”, Jungkook moans loudly, throwing his hand over his mouth quickly. He seems devastated, as if he just committed a crime with the moan, “sorry”, he whispers, tearing up.

“Don’t apologize. Your noises are perfect. Just let them out, don’t be shy”, you tell him, rewarding him by sinking down his length again. You let it glide over your tongue until it tickles the back of your throat.

“Ah, ah”, he muffles most of the noise with his hand but you heard it nonetheless.

You answer him with a hungry moan, bopping your head up and down his length. You make sure to fondle his balls while you do it, drawing skilled circles on them with your thumb.

“I-I can’t stop – ah!” Jungkook stutters before he moans, dropping his head in the pillow and keeping his mouth agape, “ah, ah, ha, ah”, the noises leave him freely eventhough they make his cheeks literally burn up in embarrassment. He twists the sheets as he squirms and shakes, having his eyes squeezed shut so tightly that the corners of them are creasing.

“There we go, you’re so sexy for me”, you encourage him, flicking your tongue over his tip for a little, running your left hand up and down his shaft in slow strokes. You make sure to time the swirls of your tongue with one skilled movement of your thumb each time it reaches his sensitive tip.

Jungkook throws his hand over his mouth, letting out a cute squeak. You encourage him to give you more by taking him into your mouth again, sucking on his cock. You can feel his balls tighten, tasting his precum on your tongue. Oh Jungkook lets out the prettiest of moans, rolling his head to the side.

“Feels so good…”

You begin moving your head up and down while you suck on him, starting off slow but becoming faster gradually. Jungkook starts off with excited little pants before shy squeaks replace them. He hits the mattress beside his hips, legs shaking all on their own.

“Please”, he squeaks, burying his face in his hands. This feels so good and he is going to cum. Jungkook feels so embarrassed about it, but somehow doesn’t want you to stop.

“Just let go sweets”, you encourage him, returning to the rhythm afterwards. You roll his balls between your fingers, jerking off the parts you can’t get into your mouth and swallow around him.

“Eeh!” he squeaks then gasps and tenses. Then you feel it, his cum shooting down your throat and his cock pulsating in your mouth. Jungkook lets out a surprisingly deep growl, arching his back off the mattress. He shakes three times then drops his back rather aggressively, throwing his hands over his face to hide away.

“I’m sorry”, he presses out.

You let go of his cock, giving it one last kiss.

Jungkook sobs.

“Hey sweets, why are you crying?” you gasp, cradling him in your arms safely.

“I-I s-sorry. S-sorry”, he hiccups, shuddering in a sob. He is so embarrassed.

“For what? You did amazing.”

“I-I ruined it.”

“You didn’t. Why do you think that?”

“You, you didn’t even cum. And there, there w-was no s-sex.”

“Kook”, you brush his tears away, “we’ve been having sex ever since we started touching each other. Sex doesn’t always mean penetration. It’s about making the other feel nice. Don’t be ashamed about cumming too soon. This is your first time after all, you did amazing.”

“Really?” he looks at you shyly. He sniffles but doesn’t cry anymore.

“Yeah, it was so hot”, you smile at him, “did you like it?”

He nods his head, “so much”, he whispers and giggles shyly, “thank you so much, I feel so, so good”, he confesses and hugs you.

“I’m glad you do”, you give his cheek a gentle pinch.

He looks at you with sparkly eyes.

“Do you wanna have more?” you ask him.

He blushes, “maybe”, he whispers.

“Yes? Do you wanna make me feel good until your cock’s good to go again?”

“Yes”, he says in complete awe.

“Yeah? Something you want to try out on me?”

He blushes, lowering his gaze. He touches his own lips before he giggles.

“Do you want to eat me out too?”

“Yes”, he whispers and hides his face in your chest in shyness.

“Okay that’s really hot, I’m down”, you say and roll on your back.

Jungkook watches in awe as you take off your pants and then spread your legs. He is staring at your face almost obsessively with his eyes big.

“You’re allowed to look”, you tell him and watch as Jungkook sneaks one not so sneaky look down at your core.

He does a quick double take before finally looking properly. His mouth falls open, hands rubbing up and down his own thighs.

“This is what a pussy looks like?” he gasps, crawling between your legs to get a better look. His eyes run over it in wonder.

“You look like you are seeing your first ever pussy”, you joke, but the look that Jungkook gives you lets you know that you weren’t even that far from the truth, “no way, you are. Aren’t you?”

He begins blushing.

“Seriously? So no porn?”

“I tried watching it once, but I felt really uncomfortable”, he confesses.

“Wow, okay. That’s so rare”, you say, making him lower his eyes in embarrassment, “but totally valid. You’re so hot, sweets.”

Jungkook giggles, looking less nervous in an instant. He lets his eyes land on your pussy again, features morphing into that of awe.

"It's so pretty", he whispers, "and so wet."

"Yeah, I know that means I'm really turned on", you explain to him.

"Oh I see...really?" he looks into your eyes.

"Yes Kook, really. You make me really wet."

He snorts very ungracefully and laughs quietly before throwing his hand over his mouth and widening his eyes.

"Sorry, that was a weird laugh."

"It wasn’t, you’re really cute", you assure him.

"I, I wasn’t laughing at you. Please don’t t-think that. It’s so weird to hear you talk so sexy t-that's why I laughed. Not that I don’t like it! Please don’t think that", he babbles, blushing vividly.

"Kook, you’re aight. Don’t worry", you give him a smile.

"Okay", he says in a breathy laugh, letting his eyes fall back to your pussy. He stares at it, licking his lips almost hungrily.

“Taste her whenever you are ready Kook”, you encourage him.

Jungkook sticks his tongue out and presses it against your core. He just rests it there, hot and wet. Then he pulls back again, smacking his lips.

“Mhm, yummy”, he decides, cracking you up, “what?”

“Nothing, this is just the first time someone smacks his lips and goes mhm yummy after pressing his tongue against my pussy”, you explain in a chuckle.

“Oh, sorry”, he blushes.

“It’s alright, it’s cute”, you pet his hair, “go on, try her again.”

Jungkook is eager to please, sticking his tongue out and connecting the tip of it with your pussy. He flicks it up and down, doing so rather softly.

“A little closer”, you tell him.

Jungkook scoots closer, adding more tongue. He keeps the slow rhythm going, eyes glued to your face to see if you look pleased. You look really happy according to him. Your eyes are so pretty now that you look at him and give him a smile.

“Give my clit more licks.”

Jungkook furrows his brows in confusion. It is obvious that he has no idea where exactly your clit is located. You tug on his hair gently, guiding his mouth further up your pussy until you feel his tongue on your clit.

“There”, you sigh, eyelids fluttering, “it’s right there.”

To your dismay Jungkook lifts his head, looking at your pussy.

“Can you show me? So I know how it looks” he asks with a little bit more confidence in his voice. This is so typical Jungkook. You give him something new to try out and he is so eager to learn and improve himself that he completely forgets about his shyness.

You part your folds with your fingers and run your pointer finger over your clit. It feels good, but you really miss his tongue.

“It’s this little part right here. The area around it and right on it is especially sensitive and it feels really good when you touch or lick it”, you explain, drawing slow circles. Jungkook watches with his brows furrowed in serious concentration. He nods his head.

“I got it. It’s so pretty. Small but so important, I like it a lot.”

You give him a lazy chuckle. He is truly so endearing.

Jungkook takes over for you, keeping your folds parted with his fingers. He connects his tongue with the area you showed him and mimics the movements your finger made. Slow circles all over your clit and her surrounding skin.

“Holy fuck” you can’t help but swear, dropping your head into the pillow and gasping for air. Jungkook hit the nail right on its head. Or in your case nailed your clit right with his tongue. It is warm, it is wet, it is so soft and at the perfect spot, “Jungkook”, you moan his name.

Jungkook makes a shy sound and speeds up just a little.

“Ah!” you squeak and flinch. Hot electricity shoots through your pussy. In an instant you pull his head away, confusing him.

Your eyes meet, his lips glisten in your juices.

“Okay what the fuck Kook?” you pant, “you seriously almost made me cum in like ten seconds.”

He blinks his eyes at you, cheeks heating up.

“Really?” he asks shyly.

“Yeah, what the hell?”

He giggles, lowering his eyes, “w-why did you stop me?”

“Because…I don’t know, I wanna have it longer.”

“Should I lick at other parts? O-or what do I have to do to make it last longer?”

You smile because his eagerness to learn is sweet but also sexy.

“Yes, that sounds good. Give my clit a few licks every now and then and it’ll help make it last longer.”

“Got it”, he says and connects his mouth with your pussy again. He dances his tongue through your folds for now, watching your face for a reaction.

“Yes Kook, yes”, you sigh and moan, closing your eyes.

He mewls softly and stays at your entrance. He licks at it as if he was eating a popsicle, making shy sounds of approval because he very obviously liked the taste of you. His hips are grinding into the mattress, his fingers are squeezing your thighs. Also, he has eyes closed for now, furrowing his brows in bliss.

“That’s it sweets”, you moan, floating on cloud nine.

Jungkook opens his eyes again and dances his tongue up your pussy. For only a second he lifts his head, parting your pussy with his fingers again before connecting his tongue with your clit. He starts off a little too far to the right but corrects it naturally, one flick later and you have his warm, skilled tongue grinding up and down on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Yes, ah – yes”, you moan and gasp, relaxing and closing your fingers around a bundle of his soft hair rhythmically, “yes, Kook, Jungkook, ah yes.”

Jungkook, that perfect amazing man, moves down your pussy, making your approaching high die down so lovely that you feel like melting. He begins licking up the new droplets of your arousal at your entrance, sneaking a quick glance at your face and grinding his hips into the mattress again.

He will never get this view out of his head. You on his bed, completely naked and with your face contorted in pleasure. Your stomach looks so pretty and your boobies aren’t as round as when you sit up, but Jungkook likes how they look like when you lie down nonetheless, they look so soft and he wants to hold them. So he does. He reaches up with his left arm and gathers your breast to squeeze it softly.

“Yes, do that”, you encourage him, voice cracking at the beginning.

Jungkook squeezes it repeatedly, accidentally pressing down on your entrance too much and making his tongue slip in. He gasps, watching you part your lips in a deep moan. You are even warmer like this and you taste stronger. Jungkook slips his tongue free, swallowing down the massive amount of saliva in his mouth and with it your sweet taste.

"So tasty", he whispers more to himself than to you. He connects his tongue with your clit again afterwards, hand on your breast stilling because it is impossible to multitask now that he begins touching your entrance with his finger in curiosity. But you don’t mind, he is still holding your boob safely and the finger playing with your juices feels so nice that all you can do is roll your hips up and moan his name.

Jungkook slips inside on accident, gasping right with you.

“I’m going fucking insane, that’s amazing”, you moan shakily.

Jungkook mewls, grinding into the mattress with more vigour. You are so warm and wet and tight around his finger. This feels so good. Is this how it feels around his dick? How should he ever be able to fuck you when it feels like that?

Jungkook moves his finger in and out of you, feeling you tighten.

You whimper his name, grasping his hair with your other hand as well, “right there”, you squeak out and tighten even more.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to make of all of this. This is so sexy, it turns him on like nothing else, he feels so good. It overwhelms him so much that he feels his eyes tear up in utter gratefulness. He closes them before he can cry and licks at your clit more eagerly.

You clench around his finger, flinching into his mouth.

“I’m gonna fucking cum”, you groan, arching your back.

Jungkook mewls, speeding up his tongue and finger all while giving your boob a squeeze. This is all you needed.

“Jungkook”, you cum with a loud moan, feeling it all the way down to your toes. It spreads from your pussy in hot spurts of electricity, the kind that makes it hard to concentrate on anything other than how fucking incredible it feels. You didn’t have that type of orgasm in such a long time and definitely not with another person. You blame it on the feelings you have for Jungkook and how good he makes you feel, but holy fuck this is going to haunt you in the most inappropriate of moments.

Jungkook is so far gone, whimpering and squeaking as he licks and sucks on your clit like there is no tomorrow, he pumps his finger in and out of you quickly, blinded by the feeling of you pulsating because of him. And while it felt fucking incredible while you were cumming, now that overstimulation sets in, it feels like too much.

“Slow Kook, slow”, you groan, pulling at his hair, “g-give me a break.”

Jungkook lifts his head groggily, locking his sparkly eyes on yours obsessively. His cheeks are so pink, his chin and swollen lips are covered in your orgasm. He looks so eager to please you more and more.

“This was incredible”, you say, “I’m serious, I haven’t cum like this like ever.”

“Woah, are you serious?” he gasps, mouth falling open.

“Totally”, you say and drop into the pillow. You let out a disbelieved laugh, rubbing your hands over your face, “I’m fucking fucked Kook. Phew”, you exhale loudly.

Jungkook shimmies up your body and lies down next to you. Propped up on his elbow, he drapes an arm across your chest. You open your eyes.

“So I’m the best you ever had?” he asks, acting slightly cocky.

You chuckle fondly, “now, now Mister. You’re growing cocky”, you tease him, pinching his cheek.

He blushes and just like this, his shy demeanour returns.

“I’m sorry, I just feel proud because I made you feel good.”

“Mhm”, you trace his cheekbone, “you can feel proud, you were the best.”

Jungkook giggles.

“How did you like it? Was it how you imagined it to be?”

He shakes his head, “it was better. I imagined pussy to taste like candy just like Ariana Grande says, but it doesn’t. It still tastes really good eventhough it doesn’t taste like candy so don’t worry. I want to do it a lot in the future.”

You grin. You are pretty sure that you don’t just have a crush on him by now, but that you are actually head over heels in love with him.

“I’m happy you liked it. Do you want your reward now?”

“T-there is a reward?” he gasps.

“Of course there is. Your cock’s good to go again and I wanna ride it.”

“Oh god”, his cheeks glow red immediately, “you say so much sexy stuff.”

“I know”, you grin, “go on sweets, lie down for me.”

Jungkook obeys, giggling in excitement for what was to come.

You get to your knees and reach for a condom.

“Do you want to put it on for me?” you ask him, handing it to him.

“I’ll try, I never did it. Do I have to hold the tip?”

“Yep and then just roll it down smoothly.”

Jungkook follows your instructions.

“That’s it, you’re a natural. How does it feel? Does it pinch or feel too loose?”

“No it’s comfortable, I don’t really feel it.”

“Perfect.”

You and him exchange a look. You just have to touch his face again. You can’t help it, you are so obsessed with it.

“I’m gonna fuck you so well now, Jungkook”, you whisper.

“___ please”, he breathes and mewls.

“Do you want me to fuck you?”

He nods his head vigorously.

“I can’t hear you sweets.”

“Yes”, he whispers, tensing his body in anticipation.

“There we go, good boy”, you praise, climbing on his lap and sitting down on his thigh.

He tenses up and looks down.

“Do you feel how wet I am?”

“Y-yeah”, he presses out, breathing speeding up.

"I know, that's what you do to me sweets. Your mouth made me so, so wet for you."

"That's so sexy, oh my god", he whispers, feeling his cock twitch.

You give him two grinds up and down his thigh then lift your hips. You grab his cock by its base, stroking it through your folds.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god”, he chants, covering his face behind his hands. He is so excited and nervous and excited.

“Look at me Kook.”

Jungkook tries to obey, brows furrowed and teeth biting down on his lower lip so hard it appears white on some parts.

“You can cum whenever you feel like it. There is no pressure to last long, okay?”

He nods his head.

“Now place your hands on my hips.”

Jungkook holds them tightly, eyes flitting to your core. This is it. The moment he dreamt of ever since he was twenty two. The moment which will turn him from an inexperienced boy to a real man. And to top it all off, he is experiencing it with the one person he had hoped he could experience it with. He is so excited that he could burst.

You sink down on him. Jungkook’s face goes from shock to confusion to surprise until it finally lands on what can only be described as blissed-out epiphany.

He groans loudly, dropping his head and staring at the ceiling with big eyes.

You bottom out.

"Wait, wait, ah wait", he stutters.

You caress his pecs, studying his face.

"I just need to bask in it for a moment."

He takes a deep breath, furrowing his brows in the distinct Jungkook way.

"Holy cow, I’m not a virgin anymore…"

He makes you laugh and so you lean down to kiss his cheek. When you lift your head just enough to look at his face you realise that he is gazing at you.

"It's nice, isn't it?"

He nods his head vigorously, "it's so warm."

"Right? You feel really good inside, you fill me out so well."

"Oh?" he blushes but doesn’t break eye contact, "y-you fit around me so nice" he giggles, "was that sexy?"

"Yes Kook, it was sexy."

"Okay, uhm. You are so warm and squeeze me so much, I feel really good", he attempts to talk dirty, ending it with a cute giggle and a shy look down.

You chuckle lazily and straighten up again.

"I'm glad you do, sweets", you rasp and put slight pressure on his chest, beginning moving.

"Oh go- fuck", Jungkook’s face contorts in utter pleasure, eyes falling closed and lips parting. He is squirming so much, panting uncontrollably all whilst squeaking.

You lean in, weaving your fingers in his hair.

“That’s how it feels like Kook”, you rasp, circling your hips when he is all the way inside of you, “that’s how sex feels like baby.”

"Don't stop", he keens and hooks his arms behind your head, pressing out a pathetically hoarse moan afterwards. He can’t think. He can’t breathe. He is also sure that he doesn’t live anymore. His soul left his body and all there is left is his dick and your warm walls around him. How should he ever feel anything else and go “yep that’s good” when he knows how pussy feels? He decided. Pussy is the endgame and he is happy that he played and won.

“Do you like it Kookie?” you ask, tickling his ear with your lips.

“Ye”, he brings out and then he moans again, scratching down your back in an attempt to hold you tighter, "so much, I like so much", he mewls, throbbing inside of you.

“Fuck, baby”, you moan, speeding your hips up at the slight pain of his scratches. You twist your fingers in his hair, make sure that you squeeze your pussy around him and press your tits against his chest, making his nipples rub against them.

Jungkook lets out a gurgled moan, following it up with a high-pitched “oh my god.”

He shakes and trembles, whimpering your name all while squeezing tears out of his closed eyes. His cock is so hard inside of you, throbbing uncontrollably. You know that he is close. You have known ever since you sank down on him. Good, you want him to cum. It’s what he deserves.

You add skilled rolls back and forth to your bounces, making sure that his cockhead would hit your g-spot each time you bottom out. You can still have some fun, even if this right here is all about him. And Jungkook is giving you a hell lot of fun. He has the perfect length and girth and curve to make each bounce feel like heaven.

"I can't ah - oh - eeh please ___", he stutters and pants, hands running over your back vigorously in search of support.

“You know it Kook, just cum whenever you want”, you pant, connecting your ass with his thighs in fast bounces, "just cum for me baby, let go."

Jungkook lets out a loud moan, pressing his head into the pillow so aggressively that it makes his shoulders arch off the mattress. This feels different than it did when you gave him a blowjob. While that one began on his tip, this right here makes his stomach tighten and his cock throb and he has literally no idea where it begins. Maybe everywhere. Jungkook sobs your name, arching his back. Oh god, he is going to cum so hard.

“That’s it baby, let go for me”, you rasp.

And he does. Jungkook feels his body spiral out of complete control. It happens automatically that he reaches for your hips and stills their movements only for his own to begin slamming up into you. And you let him, watching his face contort into the prettiest of expressions all whilst moaning his name over and over again. Jungkook needs eight hard thrusts and then he drops into the mattress, whimpering shakily.

He is breathing quickly, whimpering the entire time. So cute. You just have to lean down and kiss his pretty face all over.

“My pretty boy, you’re my pretty baby, oh Kookie”, you whisper, kissing his tears away, “did you have fun, baby?”

“Yes”, he presses out, still catching his breath.

You giggle and straighten up, helping him slip out of you and discarding the condom for him. You make sure to place his very sensitive cock down carefully, leaning down to give it one kiss. You have no idea why you did that, you have never done this to anyone before, but Jungkook makes you feel so good that you just want to keep kissing him.

You kiss up his torso next until you finally trail them up his neck.

He turns his head slowly, peeling his eyes open to gaze at you.

“Thank you so much”, he whispers, voice raspy in strain. He tears up, “this is the best day of my life.”

“Mine too Kookie.”

"I'm sorry I didn’t last long."

"There's nothing to apologize for. Nobody lasts long during their first time and you were amazing."

"Will it get better? I-I don’t want it to always be over so fast."

"Yes baby, it'll get easier."

"Did you cum too?"

"No, but that’s alright. Tonight was about you."

"I'm sorry, I'll do better next time", he whispers.

"I know you will Kookie", you whisper and caress his cheek.