#i literally had 15 things on my reference layer

[zincbot]

i use more drawing references than anyone alive

[juliasgoodusername]

Ley Lines Map for All the Gansey-core Girlies

Have you ever wished there was an interactive map that not only graphs the ley lines described in TRC, but also has layers full of possible spiritual points, arranged in loose categories and sloppily curated by sheer force of mental illness?? Okay baby here you go:

FAQ under the cut 😘

Was this necessary?

Genuinely it was not. My investigations uncovered that Maggie Stiefvater does not really care about geography, nor does she remain consistent about the ley lines, so I can't even really say that it's book-accurate.

Example 1 - There are multiple understandings of ley lines. Some are circles, patterns, connect the dots, etc. but TRC goes with the definition of "perfectly straight" lines "that crisscross the globe" (The Raven Boys Chapter 2, Chapter 15). One of the big three lines connects Boston to St. Louis (The Raven Boys Chapter 22). And the main line also passes through Boston (see example #2)! But half of all the Pynch drama in Call Down the Hawk specifically blames Boston/Harvard for not being on the ley line. Hello?? It's on TWO of them!

Example 2 - Maggie makes it clear that the connection between D.C. and New York, which also connects to the UK and Pilot Mountain, is the main line that Glendower's squad traveled on (The Raven Boys Chapter 7, Chapter 22). The weird part is how after defining this line, all of Adam's ley line adventures place it directly along the Shenandoah National Park/Blue Ridge Mountains (Blue Lily, Lily Blue Chapter 2 + many other quotes I don't feel like looking up). There's no way to connect the DC-Pilot Mt line to Shenandoah, but I can totally see how Maggie Stiefvater would think it connects when looking at a flat map.

So yeah. It doesn't really matter, but thanks to my research we can CONFIRM that it doesn't really matter. You're welcome.

So why did you make this?

For fun...it wasn't exactly worth it. But by sharing it with y'all, hopefully no one else will make the same mistake.

What about line #3?

The third line never has specific connection points in the books so I basically made it up :) but I narrowed it down to 2 candidates, with my chosen line based on Ronan's mention of the "Pando thing" in Greywaren's epilogue.

How did you decide on/find points?

Honestly it was a lot of vibes. You can read in the description of the map how I started from certain resources, like all the stuff in the books, and other people's Google maps. My big discovery was realizing that UNESCO World Heritage Sites covered a lot of territory between history and nature, but before that I was literally googling things like "strange places Kentucky" and pouring through articles. If a place seemed weird and magical, I added it.

Yes this took forever. Easily 3x as long as the 300 Fox Way floorplan, if not longer.

Is this map complete?

I had other ideas for things I should add to it but I got tired, so nah.

You've put down everything from urban legends to alien sightings, but why don't I see many hauntings on the map?

Blatant author bias; I firmly don't believe in famously haunted houses! The vast majority of "haunted" places operate as tourist attractions, so if I took them at their word I'd have to also log Disney World for being the most magical place on earth, wouldn't I? Also Re: I got tired.

Can I copy this map / add to it / use it for reference?

Please please please please

I found a typo

I bet you did! I'm not even proof reading this post bestie.

[emeryhiro]

Thank you so much for answering my questions last week!! Your answers were so insightful and interesting, and have made me even more excited for the book of carol!!

That's awesome to hear that you're more confident about caryl canon after watching ep one. I totally agree with you about how them being alone will open up opportunities for it in a way it never has before. And i agree that if it doesn't happen, it's probably because Melissa & Norman don't want it (which I'd be super disappointed about but would respect their choice). But from everything I've seen, i also think they do want things to go in that direction!

Haha emotional and unhinged are great words to describe caryl in general! And I'm excited for nostalgia. The emojis are intriguing! They're making me think Carol blows up a plane, hopefully once she's safely in France lol! And that's interesting about how the people at the nest treat Daryl, that also frustrated me in s1!

I had a couple of other questions but no worries if you can't answer any of them:

1 Do we see anything specifically relating to Carol from Daryl's pov in this ep? Or is he talking generally about 'people at home'?

2 What did you think of the opening credits?

3 Did you see the ep title? I'm really curious about what that might be!

4 Where would you rank the ep in terms of your fave twd eps?

Thanks again for everything you've shared! I love how you've given us hopeful teasers without spoiling the details!

Hey Anon ♡

You're so welcome!!! I've been having a lot of fun answering your questions, so feel free to let me know if you have any others, and to be honest, I'm happy with any excuse to talk about Caryl 😅

Mild spoiler warning for my response to question 1 ♡

1) No, there was no situation where Daryl directly spoke about Carol. However, I do think there's a good reason for it, which I've spoken about in detail in a previous post [HERE]. It's also important to note the screen time division; episode one is about 85% Carol and 15% Daryl, so we don't get many scenes with him and very little dialogue. The dialogue that we do hear from him sounds very frustrated and resentful as if he's tired of being held back by the Nest and wants to leave as soon as possible (like he's rushing a resolution for the conflict in France).

The line below that we hear in the teaser is actually in episode 1, and it's the only time he references anything about home.

"I don't know if this is the place I'm supposed to be. I've been thinking about all the people I left behind, wondering if they're still thinking about me."

This is then followed by a few other lines where, in no uncertain terms, he says that he doesn't think he'd ever be happy at the nest.

2) I loved the opening credits; there were some really nice animated scenes of Carol that I really liked, and my favourite is the closing shot of the opening credits which is one of Carol and Daryl together. 🥰

3) No, unfortunately, I don't remember seeing or hearing anything about the episode title. But I think they'll announce the title either during San Diego or the following week, but most probably during the next screening of episode one that's being held on the 26th of July (tonight).

4) Honestly, episode 1 is now my favourite episode of TWD. It hit all the right emotional notes and delved deep into Carol's mindset, which is way overdue. It also had the walker action and suspense that left me on the edge of my seat (literally) the entire time. Melissa is incredibly talented and has everything it takes to play a leading character, especially one like Carol, who has so much depth and layers.

I have no doubt that the rest of the episodes will be just as good, if not better, especially the reunion episode!! And I'm confident that this season will be my favourite of all time, from any show.

~~~~

Thanks again for the questions! Once again, they were a joy to answer😊🩵 I'm sorry if this was a little delayed. I've been very busy with my uni finals during the past couple of weeks, and I wanted to wait until I had enough time to give your questions proper responses.

Also, I can't believe today is the day we finally see the trailer!!! I'm SO EXCITED, and my brain/emotions are already on overdrive. I also apologise in advance 'cause I already know I'm gonna be over analysing it and sharing my thoughts as soon as I can 😅

[fantasymindpalace]

Stacked Up - quinlar stripper au

sooo here's the first chapter of my fic. i had a good time writing it so i hope u guys enjoy <3 idek if its like any good at all but whatever lol. you can also read on ao3

A lit mirthroot blunt resting on the side of an ashtray sent small tendrils of smoke idly floating up toward the ceiling of Bryce's bedroom. She picked it up between her first finger and thumb and took a long drag. As she exhaled the smoke, her phone buzzed with a notification where it lay next to the ashtray, amid a vast collection of makeup products that she was in the process of applying. It was a text message from Hunt Athalar. 

What time are you planning on leaving for work tonight?

Bryce rolled her eyes and smiled softly. Her shift at the White Raven would start at 10 tonight and would last until around 3 in the morning. The first shift with this new 'partner' or 'bodyguard', or whatever the hell Hunt was supposed to be. Without meaning to, her mind wandered to the conversation she'd had with him earlier that day. A debrief about her "side hustle", as she'd referred to it. 

"I also work night shifts on weekends. I start at 10 tonight."

"Wait, you have a second job? Where?" he'd inquired, looking confused. 

"Yeah. It's at the White Raven. It's like, my side hustle, I guess. But I'd really appreciate it if you kept it on the low. Only Juniper knows about it." She'd replied in a mildly irritated tone. 

"Not even Ruhn knows?"

"No, he doesn't know. Literally only Juniper."

"What, is it like, a secret or something?" Hunt had asked her. 

Bryce had let out a dramatic sigh accompanied by an exaggerated eye roll, then said, "No, it's not! Well, kinda. I do bottle service there. I don't tell anyone because it would be considered like, unbecoming of the prince's cousin to work in nightlife. But, whatever. It's how I afford my apartment and all the nice things you say I have."

"You do have a lot of nice stuff." he'd replied, earning another exasperated sigh from Bryce. It was true, though. Her closet was full of designer clothes, shoes, and accessories. Her apartment was beautifully furnished. And, on top of that, it seemed as though she was constantly getting her hair or nails done. 

"Well, I have expensive taste. Something you clearly don't know about," she'd said. Hunt had raised an eyebrow at that. 

Ignoring his expression, she continued, "Anyway, you should wait on the roof for me just like you do at Griffin. Just don't come in. Under any circumstances. Send me a text if you need me. I think it might compromise the investigation if the wrong person sees us there together."

The corner of Bryce's mouth quirked up into a little smirk at the memory of their conversation that afternoon. Hunt had seemed suspicious but didn't press any further. She picked up her phone, opened the message, and started to type. 

9:15. i need to get there early to change into my work clothes

He responded quickly.

Why not just put on your work clothes now?

because the uniform is a little........revealing lol

Understood. I'll be at your apartment at 9:10.

Bryce felt a slight twinge of guilt in her stomach at the lie. There was no uniform. She'd selected and purchased all of her work outfits herself. Her stomach twisted even more as she remembered the bigger lie from earlier. She wasn't doing bottle service at all. Whatever. His nosy ass was already in her business too much anyway. After taking another substantial drag from her blunt, she began to apply several layers of mascara to her long eyelashes. 

In the dressing room of the White Raven, Bryce leaned down to fasten the ankle strap of her heel. She wore a skimpy, hot pink bodysuit with crystal fringe adorning the minimal fabric that covered her hips and breasts. Her pink platforms were seven inches tall. Her burgundy hair was straightened and pulled back into a sleek ponytail, perfect for swinging around as she danced. The other girls were chattering and the heavy bass from the music playing on the club's speakers could be heard from above the ceiling. The room smelled of blunt smoke and hairspray. Vanities with lights around the mirrors displayed an assortment of beauty products and bobby pins scattered across the counters. 

"Juniper!" she called across the room, gesturing for her friend to help her with her outfit. "I can't tie this in the back."

Juniper pranced from the vanity she sat in front of over to Bryce.

"Turn around," Juniper said softly as she tied the strap of Bryce's top behind her neck. "This outfit is so cute! You'd better get a stack tonight!" she exclaimed with a wink and a tap on Bryce's mostly bare ass. Bryce giggled and turned around, crossing her arms and cocking her hip out to the side. 

"I'd better! It looked packed in there when I was coming in. I've made a thousand marks in a night with way less people in this bitch!" she said. "Your outfit is hot as fuck too, June. I'd say we're both leaving here with a stack!"

Juniper laughed aloud at that. Bryce glanced down at her phone screen, eyes widening. 

"Fuck! I'm supposed to be onstage in like, 2 minutes. See you on the floor, sexy!" she called out to Juniper as she started to walk toward the stage entrance. Her heart started to beat faster as she mentally prepared for her stage set. In her mind, Bryce ran through the songs the DJ would play for her and the choreography to each. She arrived at the backstage door and quietly slipped through, the volume of the music increasing substantially as it opened. She remained out of the crowd's sight as she waited for the dancer onstage to finish out her set. The DJ's voice boomed over the music coming through the speakers.

"Please give it up for Roxy Onyx!"

Bryce watched Roxy blow kisses toward the crowd, then bend down to start picking up the money at her feet while everyone cheered for her. Bryce applauded her as well. From what she could see, people were tipping well tonight. So, yes, she decided, she would be going home with a stack of marks tonight. As if on cue, the DJ's loud voice echoed through the club again as Roxy made her way offstage. Bryce gave her a high five as she walked past. 

"And now, please give a warm welcome to the star of tonight's show, Starlight!"

As Bryce walked onstage, the crowd erupted into cheering and applause. A wide smile graced her beautiful lips as she sauntered towards the center of the stage, swaying her hips purposefully. As soon as she placed her pretty hand on the pole, the first song of Bryce's set started playing, and she began to dance. She circled the pole a few times as the tempo started to increase. Her eyes scanned the crowd gathered before her, winking at a few regulars in hopes of getting them to tip more. Then, right as the beat dropped, she dropped to her knees. Placing her hands on the floor in front of her, she leaned forward slowly until her ass was high in the air. The volume of the crowd grew louder the higher Bryce's ass went. She scratched the floor with her long nails as she slowly rose to her knees again. In perfect time with the music, she popped back up on her feet, but remained low in a squat, working her hips to the rhythm. With one hand, she gripped the pole for support as the other hand snaked leisurely from her ankle all the way up her leg. She grabbed her ass cheek, jiggled it, and smacked it with a demure smirk toward the crowd as the money began flying all around and landing at her feet. 

Hunt could feel the heavy bass of the music vibrating in his chest as he sat on the roof. He tapped at a game on his phone, uninterested. To be honest, he was struggling to stay awake. He should at least be able to go in and get a drink, he thought, but he'd promised Bryce that he wouldn't. He opened the text message app on his phone and began typing.

Just checking in. Still want to leave at 3?

He knew he shouldn't be worried that Bryce didn't reply immediately. He knew she was working, obviously she wouldn't be able to get back to him right away. In an attempt to keep his mind off her, he closed the app and went back to the game. It didn't work. His thoughts kept returning to when he was picking her up from her apartment earlier. When she'd first opened the door, he'd barely been able to stifle his reaction. He was fixated on her alluring eyes, which were beautifully enhanced with dark, smoky makeup. Her long, pretty lashes left him breath taken. Then, he'd noticed her seductive, full lips, which were glossy and pink. Seeing that had caused another reaction. A physical one, which was much more difficult to conceal. And, as if all that wasn't enough, her perfume was purely intoxicating. Hunt had been trying not to imagine the "revealing" uniform Bryce was wearing right now. Trying, and failing. A deep sigh passed through his lips as he set his phone face down beside him, gazing toward the night sky. For a moment, he closed his heavy eyelids. He'd almost started to doze off when his phone vibrated with a notification. It was a text message from Bryce Quinlan. 

yeah. im doing good, ty for checking in. i'll be out in 20

Cool. See you then.

As Bryce and Hunt made their way back to the apartment, he noticed how tired she looked. She kept shifting her duffel bag of work clothes from shoulder to shoulder, so he offered to carry it for her. 

"I don't need some alphahole to carry my shit for me." she quipped. About two minutes later, she wordlessly handed the bag to him. The pair continued silently until they reached the door to Bryce's apartment. As she unlocked the door, Hunt asked, "How did your shift go?"

Bryce pushed through the door and said, "It was pretty good. I met my goal for the night!" stifling a yawn as she spoke. 

"Your goal?"

"Yeah, June and I set goals for tips sometimes."

"Oh? And what was your goal tonight?" he asked absentmindedly. He was more focused on her sleepy eyes, reddened from smoking mirthroot. 

"A stack," she stated simply.

"What?" 

"A stack!" she replied, pulling a zipper wallet out of a side pocket on the duffel bag Hunt was still holding. 

"Like, a stack as in a thousand marks?" Hunt questioned her. He wasn't sure they were referring to the same amount, considering it would be an outrageous amount of tip money to make in a single night. 

Bryce beamed as she removed a thick wad of cash from the wallet. "A thousand marks!" she exclaimed and started to count the money. One thousand three hundred and twenty gold marks. Hunt couldn't believe his eyes. He was simply too tired to conceal the disbelief on his face as he gently set the duffel bag down by the door. He couldn't fathom how she did it. But, he supposed, he would tip extra too if someone who looked like Bryce was his bottle girl. In fact, if Bryce was serving him bottles in the club, he'd probably end up giving her everything in his wallet. So he could potentially see how she pulled it off. Still, it was almost unbelievable.

"What?" she teased. "This is how I afford all my nice things, Hunt."

He shrugged. "I guess that explains it." He was trying to act casual, but his name coming from those pretty lips would be his undoing, and he was becoming too exhausted to resist them.

Bryce laughed unabashedly. Hunt's heart melted. 

"Well, I'm going to bed," she said, "I work again tomorrow night, same time. Rest up!"

With that, she swiped the cash off the counter in one motion, sauntered past him, and headed to her room. Hunt, still contending with his skepticism and intense attraction, obeyed her and went to bed.

[northwest-cryptid]

So if you're at all curious about how we do the 3D printing for the Mabinogi models it's actually kinda cool in a really dumb way.

First we rip the old game files and upload them into Blender 2.78 where I can then import them as a PMG and export them as a proper OBJ since most things outside of Mabinogi have no clue what a PMG is suppose to look like. The models often have big squares where transparent textures should be and are horrifying with a bunch of flat planes everywhere. They are far too thin to print and generally have a lot of clipping and other potential problems.

After I export it from 2.78 I can import the newly exported OBJ file in 3.1 where I can now directly edit and fix the model, in this case I'm adding pegs and peg holes to limbs so they can be accurately attached to the body as well as filling in thin areas, and fixing any clipping issues or random holes/non-existent planes that would otherwise be covered by a texture. It's important to remember these files were not designed with printing in mind, so they work just fine being loaded into a game with textures and transparency and floating parts connected by code, but when you try to print them you're going to have a ton of issues.

Here I've aligned everything to be printed in such a way as to make it as easy as possible to print without too many supports as to reduce time and filament cost per print.

I actually had to end up slicing the whole thing in half and mirror it as to reduce the sheer amount of work I'd have to do converting it to something we refer to as "thick and printable"

Speaking of which, once I'm done editing and fixing the model so it can actually be properly printed, I load it into Cura and figure out the best size and settings,

I figured out the settings to get the model to print at roughly 6-7 inches give or take .5 should my calculations be correct here.

The fun part of printing these is that your print can screw up horribly if the bed isn't level, if the bed isn't hot enough or is too hot, if the nozzle is too hot or not hot enough, if the machine is moving too fast or too slow, if you didn't glue the surface well enough, if you didn't let the glue set long enough, if the machine happens to clog, or just about any other bullshit reason the machine might throw at you. The result of which is that you have to babysit the machine for a lot of the early stages to make sure everything is working, unfortunately it looks as though a lot of it isn't sticking or is sticking incorrectly however I'm going to give it a few layers to potentially correct itself as it sometimes manages to and for now it's only building the raft and supports so nothing too important has been entirely lost if it does fix itself. The image you're seeing above is from 11 minutes into the print.

And this image is current at 50 minutes in, amazingly showing everything printing just as it should.

This print is projected to be roughly 10 hours long according to the machine however I'm predicting closer to 15 - 17 since the computers prediction at 50% speed was 14 and I'm running it 50% slower than that (I guess I technically could have just said 25% total speed but it's literally 50% of the 50%)

The only thing I'm worried about is how it's not projecting any supports for the pegs somehow, it just expects to print on thin air...

This confuses me greatly

[silentsockfeet]

tlou hbo s1 ep5 thoughts (spoilers)

i don’t know why but i was surprised that the fedra overthrow happened so recently? in the fourth ep it seemed like it happened years ago and that kathleen had been running the militia group for a while

the parallel of henry telling sam to look at him and not at the rebel activity and joel saying the same thing to sarah in the first ep

reallyyy liked the line about ‘burning the bodies’ because of how it connects back to ep4, where one of the first shots of kansas city was of a giant pile of ash and bones. like you don’t think much of it in that moment beyond maybe like ‘oh shit something happened here’ so getting that extra layer feel very fulfilling

kathleen sitting and talking with all those prisoners caused me so much pain mostly because it reminded me of like every shitty know-it-all teacher with a superiority complex i had in middle/high school. but honestly it kind of works for the character like the fixation on doing what she wants and getting everyone else to fall in line,, idk it was just a genuinely terrifying characterization tbh and for that i liked it

i kinda wish they explained the relationship between perry and kathleen more, perry is literally ride or die for her but we have no idea why and it makes that side of the story feel a lot more emotionless than it could’ve been

i like the fact that sam is deaf in the show, mostly because it’s a new perspective on how people navigate the apocalypse. it was cool to see the different ways he communicates with people, or the ways he and henry have to adjust their actions to account for his lack of awareness. i do think it felt a little cheap in the sense that they only did it to make him rely more on henry, all of the important scenes with sam were the same as the game so it didn’t feel as if making him deaf enhanced those scenes.

absolutely LOVE this henry’s characterization. in the game he seemed way older for his age because he had more experience and was a lot more intense about things, like not letting sam play soccer and that sort of thing. but in the show he actually feels more like his age, maybe even a bit younger. he’s inexperienced, scared, immediately looks up to joel in almost a mentor-mentee way. he’s more lenient with just letting sam be a kid (and this could also be due to the fact that sam is younger here) which gives him a bit of his own child-like wonder. idk i just liked that they made him a bit lighter, a bit more earnest

the re’s all sorts of parallels in this ep i love it. henry having ellie and joel at gun point and he tells joel to look at him, not at sam, the same way marlene tells joel to point the gun at her, not at ellie. just the same drive towards protection

i don’t know why it never occurred to me that fedra could be like. worse or better depending on which qz you live in lol. like the games always characterized them as like a shit government period but never really went into nuance, so it wasn’t until the scene where joel and henry talk about it where it liked clicked to me that some could be worse than others. really makes the whole kansas city storyline feel a lot fuller now

“you ran into two clickers and you’re still alive” this line hurt so much. like he didn’t mean anything by it but he doesn’t realize that actually no they lost so much for it

ellie sticking close to sam, keeping an arm around him or giggling with him or whatever :’) they really nailed their friendship i’m so glad for it

the ish reference 🤌

i had my doubts about the kansas city / kathleen storyline after ep4 but i’m a lot happier with it now that we have more of the backstory. knowing that kathleen’s brother was the leader of the resistance and that on multiple accounts he was a genuinely good man makes all of kathleen’s and the milita group’s actions make a lot more sense. that plus the fact that the revolt happened only like a week ago and like yeah okay i get it now. still think they could’ve afforded an extra 10-15 min in the last ep just to flesh out KC more but at least we got something here

“i am a bad guy because i did a bad guy thing” love this line because it’s like the antithesis of tlou’s main themes, first the idea that there are no bad guys in this kind of world, and then also the idea that joel doesn’t care about good and bad, he cares about keeping ellie safe.

the infected scene was so fuckin sick, i was cheering the whole time!! i get why they’re a little stingy on showing them, it keeps the horror and suspense up and all, but i really do wish we could see more of them. and the bloater!!!! so cool!!!!!! when he killed perry using the same death animation from the game i got so fuckin hype lmfao

the running theme of the superheroes throughout this ep, and then the way it all ties into ellie seeing herself as the hero and thinking she’ll be able to save sam,,, it’s so good but so painful. i could write a whole post about ellie’s characterization and how all the threads connect together (her naivety, her fixation on violence, the way all these things contribute to her hero complex) but i won’t do it here. i just love that we’re getting to explore this more, i feel like the game has more emphasis on the idea that being the cure is an obligation for ellie, so having this side of it helps fill in the gaps for her motivations (and also sets up the foundation for pt2, but that is also a separate post)

also really the love the parallel of henry asking sam ‘do i look scared’ and sam shrugs as if to say ‘i mean yeah kinda’ but then at the end of the ep ellie asks sort of the same question of ‘do i NOT look scared?’ and sam says never and i just love the differences there

i’m not gonna say much on henry and sam’s death, other people have already shared my thoughts in better, more articulate posts than what i can write. while i do wish sam and henry had a happier ending i don’t really know how they could’ve changed the story without impacting that narrative beat. and while i wish that didn’t come at the expense of black people i can’t say i expected them to do anything different. just a small summary of my thoughts

overall did like this ep better than the last, tho the complaint about pacing feeling too fast is still there and sadly i’m expecting it to only get worse through the rest of the season :/

[mahalshairyballs]

Oscar was awesome too at his panel, and what an handsome man ❤️

But the panel had a moderator and they usually hog the time, which he did.

They also mostly promoted an original comic book story Oscar is producing and coming out soon. They even brought in two artists for the comic. It looks good, maybe? I'm a bit hesitant about it. They showed a trailer and it looked like a mixt between Moon Knight and Constantine (even the art, the main character looked like 616!Marc with a side of John Constantine, and throw in the biblical lore of Constantine too). And it's the redemption story of a bad cop through mythology elements? Hmmmm

Not sure about it, but I'd give it a try.

.

And then there was only 15 minutes left to the panel for the fans questions. So even though I was pretty early in the queue, I didn't have time to ask my question 😩 and nobody asked a similar question. I wanted to ask it so much ugh >_< maybe he'll go to other conventions who knows

He hinted again at a season 2 or something more with the Marc system coming in the future, but as long as we don't get any official confirmation I'll stay skeptical with my expectations.

He answered often with how much he cares about the character(s) (and he literally said the verbal version of my 'character(s)' to talk about the Marc system, I love him ❤️) and how it's one of the roles that stuck with him/impacted him the most. He said that was why he became one of the producers of the show along the way, how he got so into the stories and the character(s) and wanted to be even more involved ❤️

He said something so great about how comic books are modern myths, and that myths have always been used by people to tell deeper story, and how speculative fiction was even better to tell these stories/shows layers of emotions than regular stories that shows you things literally. I do hope we can find a clip of that answer somewhere online

Someone asked how he prepared/what research he did about DID for the show. And I already knew his answer for that question but it was nice to hear it irl. He said he consulted with mental health professionals and mentioned that one autobiography that became his reference for the show.

Someone else also did tell him that his British accent was perfect (and he was from the UK himself).

Oscar also talked about how much he enjoyed playing Steven because he is 'so honest, so authentically himself', I love how he put it, aw Steven ❤️

I think that was all the questions/answers related to Moon Knight there were at the panel.

And then, as someone else said it, Oscar 'basically called Pedro Pascal a slut', yeah but he called Pedro Pascal his slut. Pedro gets close to everybody but Oscar only wants him ❤️ when is he going to get announced as Frenchie? I'm waiting !

I was pretty close to the stage when the Q&A stopped, and even though they asked us all to wear a face mask in the room for the panel, Oscar when he left touch the hands of everyone he could like a rock star before he left. ❤️

.

I really wish I could've asked him my Jake question, but he was adorable and amazing anyway ❤️ he makes jokes but can also have very deep and interesting answers.

There's no way he won't play the Marc system again, he loves them too much.

Oh and he read comics as a kid, and as seen by his new original comic project, he still likes comic books, so maybe that means he'll read the one I gave him ❤️

[mx-mongoose]

Edit made by Derpy Banana

God I really wish i could rp like a portal and Infinity Train crossover thing. I would make a server but A: I don’t know if the audience is out there and B: I feel like I don’t know enough about the lore to make a coherent plot by myself (i know Portal’s story to a T, just I don’t know ANYTHING about Half Life. Which i feel like is important since The Train is in some sorta alternate earth and I know Half Life’s whole plot revolves around different planets and dimensions i think)

Btw hey! My name is Goose (he/they)

Boundaries:

- Proshippers stay the hell away

- But other then that i’m cool with most ships (Portal and Infinity Train)

- i’m sixteen, so please don’t bring up anything sexual

- please don’t vent this is supposed to be fun

- you have to be 15+ and below 25

- Please tell me your triggers beforehand so we can rp safe!

- As well as your comforts!

- I’m iffy with OCs, so please don’t take it personally

- I play Tulip, she’s a BIG comfort character for me but because of that you can be literally anyone (Infinity Train and Portal characters). Chell, Wheatley, Glados, Jesse, Lake, Grace, Simon, Ryan, Min, etc, the whole buffet of characters is yours as long as I write for Tulip.

- I prefer discord! (MxMongoose#4163)

—

Reference so you know my writing style (not indicative of rp)

The snowflakes fell on Tulip’s warm skin, bolting her awake from what felt like a deep sleep. The sort of sleep where you don’t feel well rested in any sort of way but as if you blacked out suddenly. All she remembered was a train screaming to a halt in the middle of the woods, a light from the entrance beckoning her over and then felt something grab her through the doorway. But that was it really. It felt distant, like a bad dream.

She sat herself up, swaying her head from left to right in a baffled state.

“Did I just hallucinate a train station?” Tulip blurted out, scratching the back of her neck.

“Well that’s… boring,” She said it as more of a confused conclusion rather then a statement. She can’t dwell on it for to long after all, she has to keep moving.

She got to her feet and brushed the lightly piled snow off her clothes, a scowl laced on her face.

“‘Oh Tulip we missed you at game design camp’. Oh i’m sorry, I decided to fall asleep in the middle of a field and dream of OUTDATED MODES OF TRANSPORTATION!” She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation, kicking up the snow like it was dirt and trudging along with a grunt.

She subconsciously ignored the distinct scent of wood and animals missing from her surroundings. As well as the abundance of trees being absent for that matter even though she was just in the woods a second ago.

On her path, there were four snowmen. Snowmen who Tulip suddenly deemed as her worst enemies apparently.

She flipped one’s cowboy hat off to the side, the other’s she slapped the round framed purple lensed glasses off completely, and the other had a full space helmet on in which Tulip had to take in for a minute. Who would put that much effort into a snowman? Considering the helmet didn’t look like a toy. A replica maybe?

“What the…” Tulip mumbled, proceeding to tap the helmet belonging to the dopily citrus eyed snowman.

“Hello there!” An english voice chirped.

Tulip nearly broke her neck when she swung it near where the noise was coming from, her soul made itself known through her throat by bellowing a scream.

"Don't be alarmed! Calm down, calm down!" The ball exclaimed anxiously. "I'm not going to hurt you, little child!"

What she saw was a robot... ball ...thing??? The ball was made out of a smooth metal with darker patches welded onto them from presumable damage; it had two symentric handles on its vetrical sides, and the most noticable aspect of it was its lens. Its lens was pillowed between layers of metal encasing, shining a bright aquamarine blue and staring at Tulip as if it were its eye. Wide and shaken.

"Wha- I'm not a little child?!" Tulip snapped, cringing.

"Oh yeah, I guess you are bigger then me! Kids are getting taller by the day I swear, granted I haven't seen one before but from what I know they are typically pretty small,"

Suddenly on impulse, she went to hold the ball but as soon as Tulip lifted it off the snowman perch the robot gave yet another yelp of a scream before quickly simmering down as it processed.

"AHHHHhhhhh..?... Huh... Oh god, whoever put me on this snow clump said if I ever disengaged from it I would die! I don't even know why they even said that to be honest with you,”

"Uh," was all Tulip could say from that response, staring at the ball as if it grew a second head.

"Oh right, the question! I am not a toy, a nasty generalization of small robots really, so do better on that one, mate,"

"Well, what are you then?" Tulip asked,

"Well uh... I know i'm some metal ball thing, but that's about it. Don't really have any recollation about anything from before this, so your guess is as good as mine! Just don't guess that i'm a toy, because-"

"Ugh, I don't have time for this," Tulip groaned before tossing the robot aside and moving along.

"Wait, where are you going?! Don't leave me here!" It called, panic apparent.

"Well if you wanna come so bad, why don't you follow me?" Tulip snapped, cocking her head back.

"I can't move, not really the rolling type of ball apparently. Hm... Hey, what about you hold me?" It offered.

[brizzlovesyou]

Hiiiiii sabrina 💕 3, 15, 27 and 29 for the ao3 wrapped game!

3) What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

It's gotta be a dwindling, mercurial high! That was a passion project born out of both sheer love and sheer frustration at what Netflix robbed us of. I related to my beloved Grizz perhaps more than I cared to admit and because he's such a well-read character, I got to experiment with how I write? It's much more poetic than my other works I think, and it was fun to challenge myself with how many literary references I could insert. Also, writing for a completely dead fandom that got one (1) season of a show 3 years ago definitely teaches you the value of writing for intrinsic validation and it was so fulfilling to know I was literally only writing it because it's what I wanted to read.

15) What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

late nights at the old arcade!! I'm really hoping to take my year-end holiday time to revamp my outline and figure out a plan for getting the rest of the chapters done. I have so many exciting plans for that story and I know exactly how it's going to end.

27) What do you listen to while writing?

Okay I love making playlists!! Sometimes I make them for a specific character or fandom, sometimes I make them for a specific fic. Sometimes I can't actually write with them on, but they're a really great thing to listen to while editing or beforehand to get me in the mood.

29) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Alright my memory is really bad and I sometimes completely forget whatever I've written as soon as I hit publish as;ldkfj but here are two I'm very fond of:

From a dwindling, mercurial high Ch 1

Because Grizz has spent his entire life trying to speak a different language than the one that’s truly in his heart. He learned how to talk to girls, about girls. Learned terms like blitz and snap and fumble while trying to forget ones like kick-ball-change. Learned to keep his words and phrases simple, lest they fly far over the heads of his less eloquent peers.

He’s thrown himself into literature, into poetry, into any medium where people can bravely and beautifully express what they feel. He’s been memorizing their words since before he can remember - an instinct borne from the gratitude that someone somewhere can speak about the things he cannot. 

From late nights at the old arcade Ch 6

She flinched, finally hearing verbal confirmation of all the fears and anxieties that had kept her in a chokehold during those lonely nights in Atlanta, the ones whispering that there was no point in reaching out because they didn’t need her anymore. That JJ was somehow better off without her.

Somewhere, at the bottom of her heart, under layers of scar tissue and insecurity, she knew he was lashing out. Knew better than anyone that JJ Maybank didn’t let people in easily. Could almost see the scene before her replaced by neon fluorescents - a pink hue on his face as he told her about his shitshow of a childhood, each new revelation unlocking with a different jukebox selection.

Time warped, expanding and contracting, as it all flickered through her mind, all the different ways this could play out. She was just drunk enough to let her own hurt take priority, just high enough not to care about being the better person.

ao3 wrapped [writers edition] - send me a number from this post and I’ll answer!

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Concert Log: Seeing Lita Ford & Jack Russell's Great White

This one was at my usual venue and wasn't really one I was dying to see, but one I wanted to go to just for the hell off it bc I didn't have any concerts planned at the time. DISCLAIMER: this is NOT Great White. Jack Russell's Great White and Great White are TWO DIFFERENT BANDS. I know, I know.

I got there SUPER FREAKISHLY EARLY. As in doors opened at 7pm and I got there at 12:30.

my reasoning for this was because last time I was at this venue, I got there at 1:15 and the very first couple in the line was already there, so I figured if I got there at 12:30 and got lunch at the restaurant first, I'd be outside in line by 1:15.

No one else showed up until 2:45.

No one else showed up in the GA line until 4pm.

It was very cold. It's was extremely uncomfortably cold. It was 50F degrees (which is perfect weather for this time of year) but this venue is on top of a fucking mountain. So it felt like 30F instead. And it was WINDY. Convert to celsius if you must but it felt very much below freezing it was BAD.

So the first couple to show up in the VIP line (there are 2 lines- general ((GA)) and venue VIP) brought chairs and while the man was getting food the lady invited me to sit with her bc it was cold ;-;

gonna refer to her as Cherry she's like 50

Cherry and I got along real well and she overshared so much about her relationship with her boyfriend (the guy who she came with) and how he's not her cup of tea and how they haven't had sex bc "he's a fuckup", and that their 2 friends from Florida who are engaged to each other were flying in for the show to meet up with them and how she's in love with the friend who's engaged

it was a lot to unpack

at one point Cherry and I were talking about how we only love Nikki Sixx out of the Crue guys, and she said how she's spoken with Lita a few times and at one point she said "i gotta ask... about Nikki... is he... good?" to which Lita allegedly replied "...enh?" and we were both grieving going "NOOOOO"

time went faster and it actually felt a bit warmer by the time the line built up and people started talking too political it was fun :3)

I also met a 12 year old who really put it into perspective for me how fucked up covid was/is bc she said "THIS STARTED FOR ME WHEN I WAS IN 3RD GRADE. I AM NOW IN 7TH GRADE. AND WE ARE LEARNING THINGS AT A 4TH GRADE LEVEL BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TEACH US" and how they do active shooter drills 6 times a month and how they took away the school's library and maybe this generation is gonna be ok after all bc you go sweetie go tf off at ur world KNOW what's wrong and what's fucked up

the guy in line right behind me wouldn't stop talking to me and I guess he was alright he also kept calling me skinny? I was in layers g_g

everyone kept complimenting my jacket with all the patches on it :D

right before i got let inside someone saw my outfit and said "it's like the 70s all over again" (I was in my jacket and bellbottoms)

doors opened a half an hour late bc Jack Russell's band was having problems with an amp :'3

I was first inside for GA so it was worth it

I was the most center I've ever been in this venue

Cherry was on my left and the man she's in love with was on my right and they were talking secretly and talking shit about her bf around me and i was there like :) "I know things"

poor Jack Russell he can hardly move but he still sounds REALLY good

like he was shaking the entire time and didn't move around (he prefaced the show with "sorry if I'm not moving around as much, I have to have back surgery soon so I gotta stay put")

for half the set he was looking off to the side at the techs literally like -._-. and trying to signal them directions bc they were having problems with the sound

Jack saying "you remember the 80s?", me going "HELL YEAH" and Cherry dying

"If you missed the 80s- you MISSED OUT" "DON'T REMIND ME"

his guitarist playing to me numerous times and DIDN'T GIVE ME A PICK >:C

Lita Ford standing on the side of the stage watching his set

her hair is half pink we stan

Jack saying "after us we have the queen of rock Lita Ford" and everyone up front turning and screaming at her offstage and she was like :3D "oops"

Jack's other guitarist looks like a Slash and Gene Simmons lovechild

Jack introducing Rock Me by saying "This next song is one that I'm very proud to have been involved in the writing of. It's a- ah fuck, you'll know what it is."

During Once Bitten Twice Shy, Cherry pointed at me and said "my best friend told me you're the-" and I'm like wha srtgonisrogtintrh

He walks with a cane when he's not onstage

He also sat off to the side and watched Lita's set it was adorable how they both did that for each other

after their set, the tour manager gave Cherry a setlist and said "send me that pic of Lita off to the side and I'll get Jack to sign this real quick- is that okay?" so she said yeah and he went back for a minute and came back out with 5 or 6 copies of the setlist, each signed by Jack and started handing them out to people at the front so I have Jack Russell's autograph now?? okay??

Lita was in platform boots what a mcfuckin queen

also i wasn't expecting her to be so tiny??? idk how tall she is *googles it* she's 5'5 but she looks so petite?? she's just skin and bones and boobs

I was in contact with her PR guy in the summer and asked him for a photo pass and he said "technically i can't give you one since you don't work for a publication, but if I have a VIP custom guitar going onstage that night, I could probably just sneak you in. Get back to be in October closer to the show and I'll let you know." I messaged him last week. No response. Ghosted me.

I'm thinking "oh well what are the odds someone HERE is actually gonna purchase this ultimate VIP custom guitar packag-" two. Two people did. I could've gotten in with my camera. I'm still salty.

Lita's Stoli's Vodka guitar is so cool

I want Bobby Rock to choke me just look him up you'll see

Lita telling the story of the previous night how they were on a 90 mile drive from Nashville and "we were all,,,, drinkin,,,,....... and stuff."

Her playing one of the custom guitars and showing it to the crowd going "so if you can't tell, that's me on the front"

*flips it over* "and that's my butt."

(it was indeed her butt)

she also did a cover of Only Women Bleed by Alice Cooper but it was just her singing and Patrick playing and I almost cried it was so beautiful

Patrick Kessinton is very talented and it's VERY attractive. He's like if Nikki Sixx looked more metal

he sang Ozzy's parts on Close My Eyes Forever and HOOOOOO

I got to talk to him after (will elaborate)

Cherry had a wedding gift for Patrick since his wedding is in a few weeks, and also had a late birthday present for Lita so she was gonna go meet her after the show since they're acquainted, and I was gonna go with them obvi bc I always wait at the busses too

after the show i said i was gonna get a shirt and a drink and meet them out back

THEY ONLY HAD 3XL SHIRTS LEFT AFTER THE SHOW SO I HAD TO GET ONE AND IT'S LITERALLY A NIGHTGOWN ON ME RTGORTRGTRGERG

I went outside and wandered around for a few minutes and didn't see Cherry or anyone else waiting by the artist exit so snuck back inside (which you're kinda not supposed to do)

and while I was looking for Cherry I noticed Patrick was right next to me talking to friends and i was like "omg i didn't know you were right there hi :DD" (I did know)

i told him how awesome he was and all and he said "I think i tried throwing you a pick, did you get it?" and I pulled it out and was like yeah :DDD

We briefly chatted together (I kinda interrupted a convo with them all ngl but it was worth it)

security guy: *comes over* (@ patrick) are they all with you?

Patrick: yeah, yeah

me, internally: heh :3 I'm with him

EVEN PATRICK ASKED ME IF I WATCHED THE FUCKIN DAHMER SHOW AND I WAS LIKE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

the one roadie/staff/security guy complimented my jacket as Patrick and I went separate ways

I didn't see Cherry again but I'm going BACK to this venue on Saturday and she said she was gonna be there too so...

Bonus:

everyone I meet at concerts is always so happy for me ;-; happy I'm doing this myself and such

on the way home I stg i saw a ghost twice won't elaborate

on the way home: *hotel california playing from car stereo in the middle of the night on a completely deserted road in the woods* me: *drives over a HUUUUUUUUGE patch of blood on the road that suddenly appeared right in front of me* me: :D I'm in danger

me: is that a fucking deer (it is a ton of political signs on the side of the road that look like a deer from afar)

[preciadosbass]

15/8/24 [1 DIY/2, if you concider the jacket diy due to the custom aspects + got 2 CDS!! key & significant photos at end]

reguarding the end of yesterdays journal, the update for when i actually went to sleep was 3:40-50. i woke up today at 8, fed boris and briefly said goodmorning to him, checked my socials, and got to adding a new addition to the things i post. i’ve decided to do weekly recaps/highlights to focus on the cool things i’ve done because i can imagine most people dont want to read the long journals i write and find out if there’s anything interesting hidden in there. i therefore started screenshotting parts of my previous journals to write it down and make a draft/drafts. at 9:20 i started making just random drafts, like unposted pictures ive taken at reptile experience, things like that.

AND saw the new gerard way sighting via my tumblr feed!! apparently he was at the cinema again XD — at 9:30 i started downloading drawing references of my fav musicians and got to drawing my killjoy oc again at the same sort of time. i finished at 10:30 and had to keep on redrawing stuff before uploading it to my phone because i couldn’t find a layer id drawn scribbles on so i could delete it lmaoo // i’m not really happy with how it came out, look for more than a quarter of a millisecond and you notice everything wrong with it. hopefully if i keep up drawing everyday i’ll improve.

i cant expect much from a second time drawing since like 4 years ago but i’m just disappointed. everyone else on here is so talented *cries /hj* i scrolled on scenemo-related posts on my tiktok feed until getting ready to go out. i didn’t plan on going out today, mostly because i thought i’d be sleeping all day, but i didn’t have the urge to go back to sleep so i tagged along to see some family with my parents. i got dressed into my dark cargo jorts [told you i’d be wearing these a lot] and my skinless shirt, as that and my silent hill shirt are the only ones that go with the cargos. i also accidentally forgot all of my bracelets, so i felt naked the entire time i was out. 11:20, i went outside with boris.

he was SO affectionate and spent the whole time i was out there circling around me while pressing his-self onto my back and then going over to my hand to nudge it, and prompt me to stroke him. he’s like this almost all the time but something about it today just made me more happy than usual. i literally couldnt stop smiling. like he was propped up on me that’s so adorable 😭. i must’ve looked crazy to all the people driving past though. i stayed out until 12:10 when i had to leave.

i went out to see my grandad at his assisted living facility, his daughter [my distant aunt], and my other grandad, of whom i didn’t know was coming until we got there. i listened to underoath and paramore during the car ride and we got there at 12:30. i was greeted by the care home’s cat and with my grandad [the one who lives independently] WITH LITERALLY JUST HIS FRONT TEETH AND NO OTHER ONES APART FROM HIS BOTTOM SET 😭 he talked about something to do with this when i came round his house not too long ago but i thought he’d have more than two?? just joking, he found it funny i was surprised too.

the care home had this outside music thingy on so me, my mum, and my mums dad sat in the garden while my aunt and dad wheeled my grandad down to our table. he wasn’t as unresponsive as he sometimes is today. it was clear he tried to make conversation and said a few things which were just so - him. [he has dementia and dosent usually speak/has little to no mobility to an extent/has been this way since i can remember etc. just tryna give you an idea of why this was amazing.] a few times he came out with like, full sentences, which was nice to hear. my aunt also gave me the can tabs shes been collecting for me. me and my dad left to go charity shopping [thrifting] at 2, while the others stayed. we went into at least seven/eight and in the third i found an evanescence cd RAA - such a good find. not even a minute later my dad pointed out an avril lavigne cd which i also took and bought.

i cant wait to play them both, i just need to find something to do while listening. i’m bad at just listening to music without another task, i end up focusing on my thoughts and not taking in or processing any of the lyrics etc. me and dad walked back to the home and sat with the others for a bit before my dad and aunt took my grandad back up to the living room area. to be fair it was getting colder and we had to head off anyways. he didn’t like the lift very much but they eventually got him into his signature chair around all of his housemates and i said goodbye to him. i gave him a hug and he kissed me on the top of my head without any prompt whatsoever, which was heartwarming. we starting driving back at 3 and i listened to gerard way on the way home before having not even a minute long nap.

we got home at 3:10 and boris was so happy to see me. he ran up to the car once we’d parked and meowed at me while lifting up his head for me to stroke it. i stayed outside with him and added the new can tabs to my tab bracelet. it was enough to finish it so i tied it off and it’s a perfect fit. its big enough to go down my arm a bit, but not big enough to fall off my wrist. at 4:50 i randomly sparked an idea to make an upcycled necklace with one of my favourite musicians on it. i didn’t have any pictures of jaime or chi that were small enough to fit on a bottlecap, so i resorted to a print of kellin quinn. my dad drilled holes through a corona bottlecap and once he was done i used mod-podge to still the picture onto it. i left it to dry on a book and went back outside with boris.

he came inside to sit on the table so i also sat there with him until around 7:20 as my phone ran out. while i was sitting with him however, i attempted to draw my killjoy oc again. its honestly embarrassing so i’m never letting anyone see it and i hope i neevr do again — but it’s a shame because i genuinely thought it’d turn out alright. in my room i checked to see if my necklace had dried [it had], doomscrolled on tiktok, and saved outfit inspo. this lasted up until 8:30 and at this time i got dressed again to try on one of the outfits in question, just so i knew how it looked on me so i can wear it the next time i do something.

the outfit was: [there’s a photo at the end but you can’t see a few things because of the lighting] a sleeping with sirens shirt, with a long sleeved burgundy shirt underneath it rolled up to just above my elbows. with my can tab bracelet, a studded single rowed cuff, a wooden bracelet, a string bracelet consisting of lots of shades of blue, an earth colour schemed crystal ball bracelet, ripped skinny jeans, and a sleeping with sirens band bracelet. after taking photos for journal reference and so i don’t forget anything when i wear it, i found a plain black zip up jacket. i took a few pins off my backpack and added them to the pockets and neck piece/line.

they consisted of: a saw pin, a paper clip with the gay flag on [again, not even really because i’m gay - i just love the colours, a paper clip with a black stone/crystal sphere attatched, a pin implying taxidermy, a kellin quinn pin, and a pentagram pin. i tried it on, and maybe it’s just because of the general heat [although i tried it on at night and my room dosent have a working radiator or anything] but it warms me up almost immediately. which is great because i haven’t worn a coat since i started dressing alt and im always cold. i did all of the above while listening to my new evanescence cd — my favourite song from the album hasnt changed, its imaginary. afterwards i went out to the kitchen table and sat with boris.

my sister suddenly [i say suddenly, she’s always like this - which is why it’s so draining.] started screaming at the top of her lungs and jumping and punching the floor [the ceiling above the kitchen] and it was terrifying boris and archie. boris was already panicking, and then it set off the dog because he must’ve thought someone was dying. it was deafening. i went upstairs, frustrated, because she genuinely acts like she dosent share a house with anyone else and screams while gaming everyday; despite also being told to quiet down everyday. she also knows how loud she’s being, and how sound sensitive me and the animals are. anyway, i asked her to be quiet because she’s scaring boris [in an slight angry tone, because it was angering. but not like, anywhere near shouting.] and she replied with something along the lines of ‘no im not, and i don’t care.’

i told her to stop again and she shook her head and continued speaking to whoever she was playing a game with. i just said her name, again, implying for her to stop and she smirked and started waving at me. i said ‘what is wrong with you?’, she told me she hates me, and i walked off. then i cried for like 30mins because i felt guilty about saying that. i’m just really sick and tired of my cat, who lives here, feeling scared in his own home because of her. aswell as me, i also feel on edge here because of the whole screaming thing, and how angry she gets over it when she’s told to shut her door or quiet down. [shutting doors dosent make a difference though, as our house is from the 1800s and the walls are paper thin.] i carried on accompanying boris and made a couple of gerard way gifs at 11.

i went into my room for a split second and when i came back i saw that boris was sitting in corner beside the doorway of the kitchen. which i immediately thought was really weird, and then i saw that he’d been sick. i called my dad because i don’t know how to clean stuff like that up from our old floors and tried my best to comfort him. he wasn’t really having it, which makes sense because he obviously couldn’t have been feeling good. it was a hairball, thankfully [and unkthankfully, of course], most likely due to him licking/biting out lots of his hair because of the bugs from outside getting on him. my mum will be giving him treatment for it soon, it’s just always trouble when its applied, because he gets very agitated and one he runs away, your not getting another chance. and if you do get through to him and apply the treatment, you can’t really fuss him for over a day.

which is such an obstacle for me because i try my best to spend a lot, if not all, of my free time with him. he kept on wanting to go outside afterwards, so i left him to his own devices as he was still quite skittish over being around anyone. at 12:20 i was in my room after checking if he wanted to come in, when i decided i was gunna nap. i slept on and off for 10 minutes before my mum came back from being out with her friend. i napped again, this time on and off for 15-20 minutes. she came back once id woken up and let boris in with her. he straight away had something to eat at the bowls outside my room’s door and was purring. my mum told me that it was raining outside so i felt terrible that id accidentally left him out there while i slept. hopefully he managed to get under my dads car/the bit over the front door but he was clearly wet.

i attempted to fuss him and apologise. i spoke to my mum about why i think he’s not okay and then got the yes to coming up and doing the questions. on the way upstairs, boris followed me round the living room and onto the living room table. he put his head back for me to stroke it and purred again. which sort of gave me the idea that he was/is feeling better, which i hope with every part of me is the case. upon going up to ask the questions, my sister got into a huge heated argument with my parents over some update that’s coming to one of the game she plays tomorrow. she said that it’s being released at 4am our [UK] time.

my mum said my sister could put an alarm on her phone, but she said that it won’t wake her up and started begging my parents to wake up at 4 to get her up. they said no and she started screaming and everything. she finally went into her room after my dad looked it up and found out it’s allegedly happening at 9, so she got her phone back for 10 minutes to put on another alarm and tell her friend that the original time is most likely wrong. i started doing my questions after my sister agreed she wouldn’t disrupt them and everything would still be okay, even though she’s not supposed to be awake when i do things like this. mainly because of change in routine.

i started doing my questions and she came into my parents room and i had to stop. she eventually left after kind of verifying that didn’t mess everything up and i finished doing my questions. i actually managed to get downstairs at 2:25, so that’s also when i finished them. it took longer that it should’ve because of the really long argument and after boris being sick, i had even more reasons to believe he isn’t okay. and, my parents didn’t ask me to do them until quite late. i went on to pour myself some icy water, feed boris, do my teeth, and then say goodnight to boris.

i showed him what i’d done today and fed him his treats like always. he was purring like crazy throughout the whole time i was speaking to him which made me feel really relaxed. i finished at an unknown time [i thought i logged it but apparently not] and went to sleep at 4:10.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/immediate family’s dog, questions [about boris]/i ask my parents questions about my cat to verify he’s okay + will be okay in the morning. its a compulsive thing and i’m hopefully going to be tested for OCD in the future.

have a good day/night O_o

[diamondeyes-deluxe]

Sometimes I think about this old friend I used to have. I think he was 6 years older than me? And in hindsight this friendship was like a buffet of red flags but nothing really came out of it?

Cw for talk of grooming and mentions of drawn csam

I literally met this guy on 4chan, so... Yeah. First red flag. I was 14 and really into mlp and i drew fanart for it, and he wanted to put together like a fan art collection for a specific niche on the board. We exchanged contact info on it (I know) and just started talking and being friends. So I'm pretty sure he was 20 at this time.

We'd talk about sex pretty frequently? Like not in regards to doing it with each other at all just, sharing turn ons and offs and casually sending each other nsfw things. I was always really open about that kind of stuff even from a young age and they're like the same kind of convos I had with people of my own age too at the time that don't seem unhealthy to me in hindsight. Lots of just raunchy humor too. But I have to wonder if the age gap between us put those conversations in a different context for him.

I even specifically remember him sending me an nsfw drawing one time of a character from a 90s kids cartoon. And I was like "woah isn't that character only like 9 or 10?" And he was like "yeah but it's fine cuz it's a cartoon" and I, at like 15, didn't really know much about this topic and didn't want to argue and possibly push away someone who had become a close friend to me but it felt icky so I was like "hmmm I just don't like that so please don't send me nsfw art of children characters" and he backed off. Years later I realized this is a tactic used by groomers to normalize the concept of underage ppl having sex. But like I had already been sexually active with ppl my own age at this point and just was not attracted to him? So the only thing I felt was "ew please don't do that again."

He'd commission art from me a lot. I wasn't very great at art but he'd consistently commission me, mostly nsfw. I had no problem with that but again in hindsight I wonder if there was an extra layer of enjoyment for him knowing that a 14/15/16 year old was drawing his porn. He even asked me like a few days after I turned 18 if I could draw nsfw art of him and his gf (yeah he had a gf this whole time too) and send me nude photos "for Reference" now that I was "legal". I was like sure and he sent them but I never ended up drawing them.

When I was like 17 or 18 we actually started hanging out irl after realizing he lived close to a family member who I visited every summer. (My family was so paranoid about me "meeting up with a guy you met on 4chan???!!!" And I was like girl relaaaaax it's fineeeee I've been talking to this now 24 year old for 3 years. Lmao. Sorry fam I get it now.)

Nothing ever really happened on these hangouts? He even took me to his house twice but didn't do anything. There was the same raunchy jokes and openness about sex but he didn't ever touch me or afaik try to flirt with me. EXCEPT one time he said something like "you know i always thought if me and [gfs name] weren't together that you and I would go out" n I was like "huh? No silly we're just friends and you're too old for me lol. I've never thought of you like that!" And he never brought it up again.

Anyways we didn't talk as much the next few years because I just kind of ghosted EVERYONE after high school (no object permanence and bad mental health) until eventually when I was 20 he randomly blocked me. Welp. I'm 25 now and haven't heard from him since. Anyway that's my story of how I was probably definitely being groomed but was saved by the power of autistically not realizing he was showing interest in me.

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

Bioshock Ships I think are Gross, and why

Like I’m sure a lot of fans agree with me that Booker/Elizabeth, Lutecest, and Delta/Eleanor are all gross. Though there will be those who disagree with me on one or more of them.

They’ll give shit excuses like: “They’re not technically siblings!” in the case of the Luteces, “Well he didn’t raise her.” In the case of Booker/Elizabeth, and “He’s not literally her dad.” In the case of Delta/Eleanor. Which are all incorrect and in no way erase the incestual parts or undertones of the ships.

The Lutece siblings are literally siblings. Genetically they’d be recognized as Sesquizygotic twins. As in half-identical. Same egg, two different sperm. Incest doesn’t tend to go well between non-identical full blood siblings, I don’t imagine it’d go any better between half-identical siblings.

Booker is literally Elizabeth’s father, something that doesn’t change just because he didn’t raise her. There’s reasons why there’s laws that sperm banks have to follow that prevent them from over saturating an area or population with too many samples from a single donor. As the risk of unknowing donor children running into each other and accidentally committing incest increases with every use of an individual's donation. DNA is DNA, it’s not something that stops mattering just because genetic family members weren’t raised together, or weren’t raised by each other.

Delta/Eleanor is gross on two fronts. The first being that Eleanor is a minor, 17 years old at the oldest, but possibly as young as 15. While Delta is a grown man, and has been a grown man since Eleanor was a small child. The second is that Eleanor herself canonically views Delta as her “real” father. In her eyes Delta is just as much [and possibly more] her parent as her biological mother. So in my mind the fact that they’re not blood related is irrelevant.

I can’t ship Jatlas due to Fontaine literally referring to Jack as the closest thing he’s ever had to a son. Not to mention the master/slave undertones to the whole relationship with Fontaine having literally purchased Jack as a zygote, and having him brainwashed and programmed into obeying whatever he commanded. Absolutely not. There’s multiple layers as to why Jatlas is a problematic ship. Such as the fact that until Jack ingests 192 he’s literally incapable of entering any kind of consensual relationship, considering before that he’s vulnerable to being mind controlled into doing whatever the other wants.

These are the four biggest Bioshock ships I think are outright gross. There’s more that I think are wrong for different reasons. Like Daisy/Booker due to the fact that Booker is still lowkey racist even if he’s not as openly racist as Comstock, and that he’s an alternate timeline version of the man who pinned the murder he did on her.

[puttingherinhistory]

“ Madison, who works a customer service job at an airport spa, has an employee handbook that says “makeup should be well maintained” and “hands and nails must be well manicured.” She says the few men she works with just ignore these guidelines “because they’re meant for women but [it] doesn’t explicitly say that.” Her wages ($13.25 per hour + 15% retail commission) do not include additional pay to purchase manicures or makeup. During her interview, her now-boss commented on how nice her makeup looked and how well her shoes matched her purse—comments that make her feel like she needs to keep up that kind of appearance even though she already has the job. 

It’s well known that a persistent wage gap exists for women workers in the United States, a gap that becomes even wider when race, industry, age and geography are taken into account. But less frequently discussed is the often silent expectation around appearance imposed on women workers, which has its own financial costs—known as the “grooming gap.” The grooming gap refers to the set of social norms regarding grooming and appearance for women, including the time women workers must spend to conform to these norms and the material consequences it has on their lives. 

We’ve all heard the common advice to “look the part” at work. For men, that can often just mean business casual clothing and a short haircut. For women, it can mean hours spent each week on makeup, hair styling and curating an outfit that’s both attractive and professional. 

The rules are usually unspoken; even when employers do not explicitly require workers to wear makeup, for example, women workers often feel required to wear it anyway. 

They’re not wrong: Sociologists Jaclyn Wong and Andrew Penner found that physically attractive workers have higher incomes than average-looking workers, but that this relationship is eliminated when controlling for grooming in women. In other words, if you purchase the right clothes, makeup and haircut, higher wages are more within reach. It’s true that men need to abide by certain grooming rules, too, but they are less complex, less expensive and less time consuming. Men’s haircuts, for example, often cost much less than women’s haircuts—regardless of hair length. The grooming gap essentially constitutes a pay cut catch-22: If women don’t conform, they are paid less; if they do conform, they’re expected to use those higher wages on beauty products and grooming regimens. 

Grooming costs for women can be extremely expensive; the global beauty industry, valued at $532 billion worldwide, directs aggressive advertising toward women to convince them they need to purchase a whole host of products to have a chance at being beautiful, well-liked or successful. The industry relies on maintaining impossible expectations around women’s looks so it can continue to rake in enormous profits. One 2017 study found the average woman puts $8 worth of product on her face each day; another found the average woman spends up to $225,000 on skincare and makeup during her lifetime. And then there’s the “pink tax”: Studies confirm that, 42% of the time, products marketed to women are more expensive than comparable products targeted to men. 

The grooming gap also results in a loss of free time: 55 minutes each day for the average woman, the equivalent of two full weeks each year. Sara Nelson, president of the Association of Flight Attendants-CWA (AFACWA), says that, in her industry—a workforce that is 79.3% women—the expectation around appearance literally “interrupts your sleep”: Flight attendants get minimal rest between flights, and that rest time is further shrunk because they are expected to appear “perfectly coifed” before their next flight. Nelson says that all of her grooming tasks took 30–40 minutes each day (more than two hours in a five-day work week). Madison agrees: it takes her 45 minutes to do her makeup and style her hair before her 7 a.m. shift—and she wakes up at 5 a.m. to get it all done. Prior to this job, Madison says she worked at the beauty department at Target, where she spent $200 on products every other week. 

Restaurant and hospitality workers are perhaps hardest hit by the grooming gap, as they rely on tips to survive. When I was a barista in 2010–2011, the only official dress code rule was to wear closed-toed shoes, for safety. Still, I knew I had to show up looking pretty to pay the rent; I made less than $10 an hour and I needed the tips.

Katie, 36, a veteran bartender and server in Fort Smith, Ark., says at her current job, it’s “understood” she should wear makeup. At a previous restaurant, a manager even told her and her coworkers they would “make better tips if [they] wore makeup.”

“Based on my own appearance—weight fluctuations, makeup versus no makeup, jewelry versus no jewelry—there’s a definite difference,” Katie says. She adds that she was passed over for the most lucrative bartending shifts at her previous job after overhearing her managers say they wanted “cuter girls” to bartend instead.

Multi-billion dollar industries also market fad diets and anti-aging products to women. Both Katie and Jeeva, 24, a bartender and member of UNITE HERE, the union representing hospitality, hotel and airport workers, worry about aging. “As you get older, as a female bartender, your tips can go down,” Jeeva says. Katie says she “hope[s] to leave [the service industry] in the next 10 years, before I get too ugly.”

The grooming gap’s effects are compounded for women of color. According to Restaurant Opportunity Center, restaurant owners look for workers who are “clean-cut, [have] good hygiene or a professional appearance, all potential code words for race.” For instance, Black women spent $473 million on relaxers, weaves and other hair care in 2017, in part because of racist ideas that natural Black hair is not professional or attractive. Black workers annually spend nine times more on hair and beauty products than other workers. 

For transgender women, too, there can be an added layer of work, stress and self-consciousness. Autumn, who transitioned while at her current publishing job in Washington, D.C., says she quickly realized how much time and energy it takes to perform femininity for work. She used to spend 20 minutes to get ready in the morning, but now takes at least 45 minutes. Autumn adds, “I have to do things that cis women don’t have to… [but] it’s gotten easier with time and practice,” like tucking and dealing with facial hair. Because she presents extremely femme, Autumn says she hasn’t dealt with enforcement around her appearance, but other women workers around the country have been disciplined and even fired for appearing insufficiently feminine. Women workers have sued—and won—over gender discrimination that manifests as attractiveness discrimination.

Nat, a trans woman who works at a union in the Washington, D.C., area, says, “I didn’t feel like I was allowed to be a woman if I liked masculine things. It delayed any kind of self-reflection” about gender and identity “for such a long time.”

At work and in the world, all women—cis and trans—feel the pressure to conform to normative standards of femininity and attractiveness. But the solution to this problem isn’t to throw away all the eyeshadow or take out a new line of credit for weekly manicures. The solution is to organize together.”

Continued in the link to the article, but uh

TL;DR: There’s a significant wage gap between women who conform to traditional feminine beauty standards by, for example wearing makeup and heels and using a lot of hair and beauty products, and the women who don’t. Meaning women are financially punished for not conforming to femininity or beauty standards. The gap is worse for women of color and trans women because there’s higher beauty standards for women of color and trans women.

And when women do get those higher wages by playing the game and conforming to beauty standards and femininity, they have to spend 2x-3x+ more on grooming and their appearance than their male colleagues, so those high wages just disappear and go right back into keeping up their looks, making it difficult if not impossible to keep up financially with men, this isn’t even mentioning how much more time women lose each day to having to keep up their “professional” appearance compared to male colleagues.

[nikadoesanart]

Chuuya's sense of fashion and will we see the SB outfit again?

What if the reason why we see Chuuya having such basically flamboyant/more stylish outfits Dragon's Head Conflict onwards (idk how else to describe it but it’s clearly his own style), is because of everything he learned about himself in Storm Bringer as well as partially in memory of/in spirit of the flags (like just look at Albatross tell me he didn’t inspire Chuuya with this).

Cause I’ve seen a post recently circulating a bit wishing for Chuuya to bring back the SB outfit but my guess is that he has multiples of it/things that are similar not just because he hadn’t learned about his past yet but more so because at the time he was essentially one of many in the PM. Sure he’s clearly different due to him quickly going up the ranks and getting achievements but he was pretty much forced to join. It’s also not like he was the only powerful ability user and he does still have to dress professionally for things like meetings (especially since he’s still making impressions and forming connections during his first year) vs becoming an executive candidate and later an executive, when not only his name is more known but he’d probably want to start to come off as a bit different/as himself. Just the smaller accessorizing he does is already super iconic and it adds the personal touch to his outfits.

“After the ‘Assassination King Incident’, Chuuya’s reputation within the Organization had risen explosively. After all, he had defeated the denim beast Guivre, who had threatened to destroy the Mafia in its entirety, all by himself. By now, there was no one in the organization who did not know Chuuya’s name anymore, and he had his own subordinates at the ready.” (this is shortly after he became an executive, as we find out a few-ish paragraphs later) (Storm Bringer, Epilogue, translation by Steffi’s team)

Maybe I’m starting to overanalyze with this now but picking out his outfit randomly vs picking out specific things (even if it’s just accessories or individual layers to add) says a lot to me about how he perceives himself at the time. In the Sheep, not only was he in charge but even people outside of the Sheep knew of him and his strength (like this might’ve been novel character sheet only cause it’s a small detail but he even had a sheep belt buckle). 1 year into being in the PM he’s starting to make a name for himself because of how fast he’s getting achievements and climbing the ranks, but he hasn’t actually become too well known yet (ie look at Dazai already making people too afraid to even approach where he lives cause his greeting could literally be anything from a tea party to like brutal murder or something). DHC he’s now an executive candidate and he’s learned about himself/is much more sure of his own identity.

There’s also just no point in him trying to blend in among the PM once he became an executive candidate because him being recognized for his achievements and then as the one in charge as an executive just makes sense to me (why would you want a boss that tries to hide in the crowd constantly, especially in the PM? I’m not talking about undercover missions or being off work, this is different from Mori and Aku dressing casually for when they’re off duty or just in broad daylight trying to set up for their target.)

(In order, 15 yo novel character sheet, SB character sheet, colored reference art from Rakugakki Note artbook, compilation of anime Chuuya character sheet)

Anyway, I don’t think we’ll see a return of Chuuya’s exact outfit from SB unless there was a reason (ie. disguise/a need to blend in with the crowd). He does still dress similarly now to his SB outfit, except with some added accessorizing. The only part of how he dresses that “needs” to be kept is the hat, due to its special properties (as explained in SB). And even if Chuuya did need a disguise, he does already dress pretty “normally”, just with his own added touch that isn’t too in your face (there’s probably a better word for this that I’m just not remembering rn lol). Also as you may have noticed from the references above, manga Chuuya does also have a chain on his hat and a belt that honestly reminds me of Hatsune Miku's belt.

This is just my own personal take inspired by the tweet I mentioned and linked above, I just write too much to want to make a whole thread. Also no hate to op by any means, I also have my own wishes of what I want to see happen in bsd that may not be the most likely to happen.

[femperials]

before s5 drops my long-winded takeaway here is that fallon cheating on liam was a really good writing choice and made me care a little bit more about fallon again in a deeper way that i haven’t really thought about since s1.

most of these characters are THE definition of ‘believe people when they show you who they are’. these writers really don’t seem to be ‘doing the right thing’ when they just randomly drop or leave holes in plots that you don’t like but then making a huge mistake when it’s one you did want to see properly fleshed out. it’s not ‘out of character’ for characters to, entirely within the realm of canon context, continue doing exactly what they’ve always done or to have backtracks in their behaviour or positive growth. characters can’t positively grow on a flawless uptick because that leaves you with two options: they literally ‘improve’ to the point of becoming doug forcett or they’re forced to plateau at a ‘reasonable’ point which makes for uninteresting writing no matter what.

additionally i just don’t think it’s ever in really good taste to make assumptions about the entire character of people’s self based on your own interpretations of them. i may as well address being told that i ‘think cheating is okay’ accusations that i got when i first talked about this publicly but i won’t dwell on it. i really like when damaged characters are realistic and that was really all i meant by talking about how much i enjoyed this plot, even though it obviously ultimately won’t be going anywhere imo.

a lot of the “positive growth” that fallon has gone through over the last four seasons involved having to outright drop previous plots and/or hints about her character and her past. a lot of details that i always really liked about characters seemed to get dropped the quickest as the show progresses which is always kinda :/ but i didn’t realize until i was going back over some of the s1 and s2 content how much of that fallon i actually missed.

her having both mommy and daddy issues was one thing (scrapping her dynamic with alexis for a frenemies situation is another story entirely) but i always liked the manipulative way that she seemed to be extremely perceptive of the people around her and knew exactly what moves to use when. she’s still a #bossbabe or whatever but a lot of the darkness and edge to her manipulation has softened up which most people attribute to her being in love and a better person now or whatever but i’m glad that the writers got that those habits and skills don’t just go away at random - or even go cold from not being used. nor do terrible coping habits - in this case, sex. 

dynasty reminding us that if fallon gets pushed into a corner and feels like she has no other way to handle how she’s feeling, she’s going to probably recklessly bang it out wasn’t the terrible blow to her character development that a lot of people seem to think it was but moreso a quick little note that said: “hey, just a reminder - if you’re a relatively shitty or hurtful person and then you meet a great guy, you’re not magically cured.” and they’re right to say so. it IS dark, especially for fallon and liam considering how the majority of their conflicts are solved within 10-15 minutes, sitcom style, regardless of whether or not they were big enough themes or interesting enough plots to deserve better attention. 

on an unrelated-to-the-plot-itself note i am so sick of the drunk regrettable sex scenes. it’s so uncomfortable to watch on a personal level not to mention the intentional addition of alcohol adds no context (the way that it’s been used so far). 

there’s also layers to why it had to be colin that fallon cheated with. the argument that she wasn’t even interested in him or attracted to him is null and void but on top of that, their entire discussion before they actually sleep together is laced with important references to how they’re both powerful people, they’ve both hurt their significant others and recognize that but still feel hurt themselves, heavy themes of power - or rather powerlessness - and then of course, colin literally saying “of course [i’m here for you right now], i enjoyed my time in charge” quite literally verbally handing fallon’s power back to her before they hook up.

as the audience we already knew that the affair wasn’t like fallon cheating on culhane in 2.05 which we can attribute to her obvious confusion about her feelings and the actual basis of her relationship, but i personally don’t see it as ‘she got her feelings hurt because liam wasn’t talking to her and lashed out’ moreso than she had her ability to dominate her relationship taken away and no longer felt in control of it (which, for a woman who we’ve been taughts mental and emotional wellbeing are often directly tied to her ability to control every aspect of her life, would probably be relatively terrifying.)  

i would love to see more of this side of fallon in the next season - i know that to a lot of shippers it can be super upsetting to see her act out but i also don’t think she has to be necessarily ruining her relationship to still have this sort of darker side either.