#i literally had this post written up yesterday and i forgot to post it

[echinoderma]

TEN YEARS (and one day) ago 1) i turned 20 years old and 2) i signed up for flight rising. and im still fucking here baby!!!!!!!!!!!

[seungkw1]

better late than never — kmg

♡ pairing: kim mingyu x afab!reader ♡ theme: smut [18+ mdni], best friends to lovers, non-idol au ♡ wc: 2.7k ♡ warnings: size kink, oral (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), riding, unprotected piv sex (stay safe y’all), creampie, mingyu is a boob guy, praise kink if u squint ♡ a/n: written for my bestie <3 and posting just in time for his birthday - happy mingyu day!!

knock-knock-knock-knock

“come on! let me in!!” 

you approach your front door, but you don’t unlock it yet. 

“what happened to the copy of my key i gave you?” you inquire to the voice on the other side. 

“i forgot it!” 

you turn the deadbolt, opening the door to reveal the man standing outside - the look on his face is sheepish as he stands there, arms full of grocery bags. 

“kim mingyu i asked you to get me three things, not the entire store,” you say incredulously. 

“i saw your fridge the other day. you literally only had cheese, beer, and a jar of pickles in there,” he retorts, shooting you a judgemental look. 

“the three main food groups.”

mingyu rolls his eyes as he enters your apartment. “whatever, i'm cooking you dinner. a real dinner.”

“aye aye captain,” you say as you jokingly salute him. 

you met mingyu freshman year of college, when he burst through the door of your dorm room - thinking it was his own (he was on the wrong floor). his eyes turned wide as saucers as he realized his mistake. 

“SORRY,” he blurted out before fleeing out of the room. he was gone before you had even processed what happened. 

the next day he returned - this time knocking first. you opened the door to see the tall man, holding two packs of ramen. 

“sorry about yesterday,” he apologized, still a bit embarrassed. “i'm an idiot and thought i was on the sixth floor.”

“you're not an idiot, mistakes happen. it's okay,” you assured him amiably. 

“thanks, i’m glad you’re not mad at me or anything,” he replied with a smile. he extended the ramen to you. “it’s not much but i just… felt like i should bring a gift for some reason?” he told you, looking like he was second guessing himself as the words came out of his mouth. 

“ooo it’s the good kind too,” you replied eagerly as you took the ramen from him. “you wanna have one right now?”

he looked surprised, but delighted at your suggestion. 

“actually that would be awesome, those were my last two,” he admits with a laugh. you grin back at him. 

“well, come on in. again.”

–

and so mingyu inadvertently became your best friend. if not for the dorm incident, you probably never would have even crossed paths with him - he was your typical business bro, while you were majoring in psychology and literature. but, something just clicked between you two. 

a handful of years later now, he’s still your closest friend. and here he is, in your kitchen, grabbing the appropriate pots, pans, and utensils to get started on his spaghetti carbonara. as independent of a person as you are, you're not particularly the best chef - so you're grateful for his culinary expertise and willingness to make food for you. 

over dinner, mingyu is his usual chatty self. he tells you about his day, about how his neighbor has picked up the irritating hobby of learning to play the trumpet, about the dog he met yesterday while at the park, about his new coworker who seems to like him a little too much. 

“well, is she cute?” you ask nonchalantly, swirling the wine in your glass.  

“huh?” your question seems to catch him off guard. “i don't know. i mean, i've never thought about it.”

“bullshit,” you tell him, taking a big sip. 

“it's true!”

“right. well think about it, is she?”

“she's conventionally attractive i guess. i don't know why it matters though,” he says sincerely. 

“well if she likes you and she’s cute, you should ask her out.”

“that would be extremely unprofessional,” he scoffs, appalled at your suggestion. “besides, she's not my type.”

“what, is she weird or something?”

“no. and besides, i like weird. but i definitely don't see her like that.”

“what do you mean, you like weird?” you ask, raising your eyebrow. 

“i mean, you’re weird. and i like you.” he says it matter-of-factly, as if he was telling you the grass is green. 

“okay well obviously you don't want to date me,” you reply, rolling your eyes. “but come on, you haven't dated anyone in years. i'm trying to help to you here.”

the expression on his face changes, but you can't quite decipher what he’s thinking. 

“i don't need help.”

you give him a weird look. 

“not like that!” he quickly insists. “i just mean, don't worry about me, i’m fine.”

“ooookay, whatever you say gyu.”

his face remains calm, but you notice the corners of his mouth twitch upward slightly. normally, he’s not a fan of the nickname, but you know you're the only one who's allowed to call him that. he’s told you before. 

“well, what about you?” he asks suddenly. 

you look at him while chewing a big bite of pasta, confused. “what about me what?”

“are you, like… seeing anybody these days?” 

he speaks timidly, as if treading on eggshells. 

“why? are you asking me out?”

“ha ha, very funny,” he says sarcastically. he then shrugs. “i was just curious.”

“i actually did go on a date last week,” you admit. he looks up, surprised. 

“really? how'd it go?”

“surprisingly, really good,” you tell him.

“that's good. you have a long history of terrible first dates.”

“it was a second date, actually.”

mingyu pauses. “and you didn't tell me about the first one? fake as hell.”

“oh shut the fuck up,” you tease back, grinning at him. 

he picks up the bottle of wine sitting on the table. “should we finish this?” he asks. 

“duh.”

he removes the cork, pouring you another glass before refilling his own. 

after the delicious meal, you begin to clean up the kitchen, but mingyu quickly gets up and takes the dishes from your hands. 

“i got it.”

“you did all the cooking, let me do it,” you tell him. 

“nope,” he insists, already scrubbing plates. 

you help anyway, but mingyu is fast. the kitchen is sparkling within ten minutes. 

“damn, this looks better that it did before you got here,” you remark as you start the dishwasher. 

“don't go on a third date.”

you freeze. you look back at mingyu - he's reclining against the kitchen counter. his face, sincere. 

“what?” you ask hesitantly. 

“i said, don't go on a third date.”

he rises, walking toward you. he stops inches away from you, extending his arms, leaning his palms on the counter on either side of you. his face hovers above yours, his warm eyes locked onto yours. 

“gyu, are you drunk?” you ask, knowing full well he's not. your heart is suddenly pounding. 

“i'm not.” he brings his hand up to your chin, tilting your face upwards. “can i kiss you?”

you’re stunned, standing motionless, breathing deeply as he strokes your jawline softly with his thumb. sure, you’d thought about the possibility of dating mingyu before. more than once, even. and you figured he’d probably thought about dating you before. but truly, you never thought he had serious feelings for you. 

but here you are, pinned against your kitchen counter by your best friend. your best friend, who happens to be incredibly attractive. and the way your heart is racing - you really do want to kiss him right now. 

you try to think logically, rationalizing whether this is a good decision, but the emotional part of your brain takes control. you kiss him. you kiss him - and he kisses you, and you stand there, in your best friend’s arms, kissing each other, as if you'd both been waiting for this moment for years. and deep down, you know you have been. 

mingyu grabs hold of you, pulling you up onto the counter. you wrap your arms around his waist, running your hands slowly up and down his torso, feeling his toned body through his soft shirt. he caresses you gently, kissing you still - you're suspended in time, just the two of you, bodies connected like never before. you suddenly cannot believe you've spent years with this man and never once made out with him - but better late than never. 

he softly brings his hands to your sides. your lips finally part - you instantly miss the sensation. he slides his hands under your shirt, pausing right before he reaches your breasts.  

“can i touch them?” he asks, his voice breathy. you nod fervously. he caresses your over your bra, kissing you again as he squeezes your tits in his large hands. you inadvertently let out a soft moan. mingyu grabs the hem of your shirt and pulls it off of you. he looks at you in awe. 

“you're so perfect.” 

he is utterly gushing and swooning over you right now. you feel your heart skip a beat. 

you slip your hands under his shirt, running your hands over his abs and chest. he pulls his shirt off too, standing there before you. you've seen mingyu shirtless before, but not like this. his muscles are striking, perfectly sculpted - his golden, sunkissed skin glows beautifully. you feel a sudden, strong carnal urge to lick him, kiss him, bite him all over. 

you look up at him - the look in his eyes reciprocating your desire. you hop off the counter, taking his hands in yours. you pull his arms, tugging him in the direction of your room. his cheeks turns flush as he realizes your intent - a roguish grin spreads across his face, revealing his pointy canines you’ve always loved.

mingyu wastes no time taking your pants off as you throw yourself onto the bed, reclining against the soft pillows. he gazes at you lustfully as you lay there in your lingerie, unzipping his pants and pulling them off as fast as humanly possible. you feel throbbing in your core at the sight of him standing there - his light gray underwear doing absolutely nothing to disguise the prominent erection underneath. 

he crawls into bed, his body hovering above yours. you wrap your arms around his broad torso, pulling his large frame into yours as you begin to move your hips, grinding against his cock - the wet spot on your panties grows as you rub your cunt against him. it was clear from the moment he took his pants off that he is big, but feeling its length, its thickness, against your clothed pussy is making you clench around nothing - making you wish you were clenching around him instead. 

mingyu gently grabs your arms, pinning them next to your head as he interlocks his fingers with yours. his lips lightly graze against yours. 

“are you sure you want to do this?” he asks softly. you nod immediately. 

“yeah.”

he buries his head into the crook of your neck, kissing you repeatedly. he gradually makes his way down your body, his hands moving to take your bra off, but he pauses.

“can i-”

“you can do whatever you want to me,” you interject.

you feel his cock twitch. “oh god, don't tell me that.”

he unclasps the hook, letting out a moan at the sight of your bare tits. immediately he takes your nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud before taking it between his lips. he sucks on your tit like his life depends on it - his hand squeezing and pinching the other as his cock grinds against your core. you're gone already - a moaning mess, putty in his hands. he eventually switches sides, cool air hitting the wetness remaining on your nipple. you get the feeling mingyu could suck your tits forever. 

he eventually moves on, planting kisses down your stomach as he situates himself between your legs. he kisses your inner thighs - slowly approaching your core, but not touching you just yet. you whimper as he finally touches his lips to your clit over your thoroughly wet underwear. he licks you slowly, his tongue running over the thin fabric several times before he slips his finger underneath, pulling your underwear aside, exposing your soaked core. he groans at the sight of it. 

“fuck, just as pretty as i imagined.”

you part your lips to say something, but your words become lost - instantly replaced with cries of pleasure as he begins eating you out. you run your fingers through his hair, grasping onto it as he sucks repeatedly on your clit. he places a large hand on your belly, applying pressure, as he takes two fingers to your pussy, slipping them in with ease. you moan as he begins to fuck you, your hips beginning to buck. 

“more,” you beg. 

you cry out as he adds a third finger - your cunt has never felt so full, but you know this is nothing compared to how his cock would feel in you. he continues sucking your clit, heat rising in your lower stomach as you feel yourself nearing orgasm. you writhe in pleasure, screaming mingyu’s name as he makes you cum - and he makes you cum hard. 

your head spins as you come down from your powerful high. as you catch your breath mingyu crawls back up, laying against you, his radiant body heat making your skin turn hot. he strokes your cheek, pressing his lips hungrily against yours once more. 

“can you… will you ride me?”

your pussy throbs at the mere thought. wordlessly you nod. mingyu reaches down, sliding your panties off before discarding his own underwear. you gasp softly as his cock springs free. you reach down, taking hold of it - its size making your hand appear tiny in comparison. he leans his head back, sighing as you stroke his length, your palm becoming wet with his precum.

you give him a push, rolling over on top of him. his tip grazes your wet cunt as you straddle him, his eyes locked onto yours intensely. you sit up, taking his cock in your hand, rubbing it against your folds a few times, before finally slipping it inside. you slowly lower yourself onto it, whining softly as its thickness stretches you. mingyu groans as you bottom out, sitting entirely on his cock. you haven’t even moved yet, but his breathing is heavy, inhaling deeply as he reaches up to grab onto your breasts. you begin to ride him, slowly moving your hips up and down, his cock filling you up beyond anything you could’ve imagined. you gradually increase your pace, both of you moaning at the overwhelming sensation, until you are fully bouncing on his cock, your palms resting against his muscular chest to steady yourself as you unravel over him. 

mingyu begins to whimper. “you’re so fucking hot,” he utters between heavy breaths. “you’re gonna make me cum.” 

you ride him relentlessly, crying out at how good he feels inside you. his eyes close as he releases, thrusting his hips powerfully as he cums in your pussy - the warmth of his cum filling you up. your pace slows, riding him gently as he finishes, his moans tapering off as he begins to come down. you settle onto his cock, laying on him as you kiss him. he kisses you back lovingly, one hand running through your hair, the other caressing the small of your back. you lay there for a while, his chest rising up and down as he breathes deeply. your heartbeat slows, pounding heavily in your chest as you recover.

slowly, he finally pulls out. you roll to his side, wrapping your arms around him in a warm embrace, squeezing him with all your might. he giggles. 

“mingyu?” you ask softly after several moments of silence.

“hm?”

“you should’ve told me sooner.”

he sighs. “i wanted to - many times. but i didn’t want to risk our friendship. i didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“i think… i think i’ve always loved you. i just never realized it.”

mingyu smiles. he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

“so… what does this mean? for us,” he asks you.

you look up - his warm eyes are fixated on you, optimistic, awaiting your answer.

“well, i really don’t think anything is going to change.” a nervous look washes over his face - you quickly add, “except that we fuck now and also i want you to be my boyfriend.”

he closes his eyes, letting out a laugh. he pulls you closer into his embrace.

“i like the sound of that.”

–

[yellowocaballero]

“I’m afraid I must call you out of retirement for a final mission.”

Cold ice shot through Tobi’s chest. Fuck.

Did he know? He couldn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t show it like this. His visit with T&I would be a lot less cheerful, that’s for sure. Was he prodding Tobi, watching for his reaction? Did Sarutobi honestly think he’d slip up? Tobi was incapable of slipping up. He couldn’t tell the truth with a kunai to his throat at this point.

“What sort of mission is it?” Tobi asked excitedly, ripping open the folder. He held the paper up and slowly mouthed the words on the page, fighting to get through the page. Look at him, he filled out his mission reports in crayon and could barely read. “Mission report…assignment duration, promotion or release…pay…oh, ew…assignment…jounin sensei…”

Tobi trailed off.

Distantly, he heard himself say, “Um. Maybe this is a mistake?”

As promised in last post. Kakashi & Obito roleswap. Barely. It's complicated. Please pay no attention to how many roleswaps I have written. Just ignore it. Do me a favor and do not think about it. OK? Thank you.

Snippet from a much longer, much messier document. This part was the very first part writiten and very much a proof of concept. I'm trying to figure out if I should overhaul the thing and turn this into an actual story, so let me know.

Short beginning scene of Tobito's Wild Ride under the cut.

“Tobi. Thank you for coming.”

Obviously, Tobi didn’t bow or kneel. That wasn’t the sort of person Tobi was. He just grinned broadly, waving so broadly that his body swayed with the motion. “Gramps! Hello! Wow, you’ve gotten old since I’ve seen you!”

Sarutobi chuckled, raising a pipe to his mouth. The pipe - either ‘I’m thinking hard’, ‘I want to pretend I’m thinking hard and giving due consideration to your idea when I don’t really care’, or ‘I’ve already decided and I’m pretending that you have a say in this’. What was the point of the last one? This was a literal military dictatorship. Tobi forgot how exhausting this man could be. 

“It has been a while,” Sarutobi said indulgently. “Since…the T&I incident, I believe?”

Tobi giggled, high and childish. “Inoichi-san got sooo mad. But Tobi said he was real, real, real sorry, so I hope he’s not still mad…oh, no.” Tobi gasped, face falling in desolation. “Is Inoichi-san still mad at me? Oh, Tobi can go apologize again -”

“It’s water under the bridge.” Tobi exhaled gustily, wiping the back of his hand against his brow. It wasn’t his fault Inoichi hated him. Apparently his mind was absolutely impenetrable. Something about constant children’s lullabies just playing full blast in his head. Or songs regarding a specific time of day someplace in the world. “I have to apologize, Tobi. I always feel as if I should keep a better eye on you. There’s never enough time in the day for all of the people we care about. Please forgive me for my inattention to you.”

Manipulative old fuck. Tobi panicked, embarrassed by the attention and affection. He waved his hands quickly, almost jumping up and down. “Gramps! It’s okay! Tobi’s not lonely or sad! He still has Sasuke-chan! Sasuke-chan wasn’t brutally murdered, so Tobi’s A-OK!” Tobi had to tell himself that a lot. Every morning after a nightmare, which meant every morning period. “And I met a really nice old lady yesterday and helped her down the street. She gave me an apple sweet. It was delicious! So there’s nothing to forgive, Gramps!”

“I’m glad,” Sarutobi said warmly. Ugh. Tobi knew objectively that Minato-sensei had tried to imitate that tone, but he still liked to convince himself that Sarutobi was mimicking Minato-sensei. That was a good one, he’d have to use it. “Sasuke-kun is actually why I called you here today.” 

That kid. Tobi sighed. “Tobi is sorry that Tobi cannot control Sasuke-chan. I’ve told him that punching Naruto-kun is bad, but he just doesn’t listen…”

“I’m sure you’ll find a method somehow.” Sarutobi pushed a thin file folder across the desk, and Tobi curiously stepped forward and picked it up. He’d know a file like that anywhere. It was a mission assignment folder. “I’m afraid I must call you out of retirement for a final mission.”

Cold ice shot through Tobi’s chest. Fuck.

Did he know? He couldn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t show it like this. His visit with T&I would be a lot less cheerful, that’s for sure. Was he prodding Tobi, watching for his reaction? Did Sarutobi honestly think he’d slip up? Tobi was incapable of slipping up. He couldn’t tell the truth with a kunai to his throat at this point.

How did Tobi feel about this? Tobi sure as hell knew how Obito felt - desperately wondering if a T&I visit was in his future. Tobi was scared of the missions, sure. But he was a five year old. How would a five year old react to these things? 

Well. Tobi knew how he would have reacted. He would have sighed and rolled his eyes about yet another mission. Pretty impressive when you were burned out of your career at five years old. He blamed the two month graduation for years before he learned of Rin and Kakashi’s hell and eventually concluded that it could have been worse. At least Tobi was paid for his war zone. 

“A mission?” Tobi gushed. He clenched on the folder far too tightly, like a child clutching a wheezing frog. “I’m going on missions again?” He jumped a little, his usual little show of excitement. Kept his energy up. “Does that mean Gramps isn’t mad at me anymore?”

Tobi carefully snuck a glance up from the folder, checking Sarutobi’s expression. Sarutobi’s face was impassive stone, as usual, but he looked a little worn too. “We were never angry with you.”

Tobi fully looked up, tilting his head and frowning. “Nuh-uh. Tobi remembers. Everybody was so mad at Tobi. Just because his hand slipped…it wasn’t Tobi’s fault.”

“We know,” Sarutobi said gently. “Minato didn’t retire you because he was angry with you. He was only looking out for you.”

Well, Tobi didn’t want to be out of fucking retirement. It was objectively insane to put him on any mission. Tobi had gotten sabotaging every attempt to make him a useful member of society down to a fucking art. He had a shitton of inheritance to blow and a nice long civilian life to blow it on. Maybe he was too stubborn about it - Iruka was definitely convinced that he was the second laziest person in the village and sabotaged his assigned jobs on purpose, which Tobi would have resented if it wasn’t absolutely true - but spite was important. Spite woke him up in the morning. 

The only thing that helped him tolerate this stupid village was his hate for it. Ain’t that just the way.

“What sort of mission is it?” Tobi asked excitedly, ripping open the folder. He held the paper up and slowly mouthed the words on the page, fighting to get through the page. Look at him, he filled out his mission reports in crayon and could barely read. “Mission report…assignment duration, promotion or release…pay…oh, ew…assignment…jounin sensei…”

Tobi trailed off.

Distantly, he heard himself say, “Um. Maybe this is a mistake?”

“Trust me. You’re hardly our first choice.” Finally, they agreed on something. “But you’re the only one in this village with a Sharingan, Tobi. You’re the only one who can teach Sasuke how to use his power.”

“Nuh-uh. Um. This is a mistake. Ha ha.” Tobi ripped the paper from the folder, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder. “Because, um, I can’t use my Sharingan. Did Gramps maybe forget that? Ha ha?”

“But you still remember how to use it. Even if you can’t use it yourself, you can still walk Sasuke-kun through using his.” Sarutobi eyed Tobi knowingly, the dim glowing embers of his pipe reflecting a soft light in his eyes. “You were once a genius with the Sharingan, Tobi. They said you were the best since Madara.”

Yeah! Yeah, they did say that, old man! That was the whole fucking problem!

Mention of the Sharingan or Tobi’s old talents always upset him, so this was a great springboard into nipping this in the bud. He’d throw a hissy fit if he had to. Tobi had killer hissy fits. That was how Sasuke was given a seat as head of house in the Clan Council. Tobi’s wail could pierce eardrums and Sasuke had deserved that fucking seat. 

“Tobi doesn’t like the Sharingan anymore!” Tobi exclaimed. “Tobi wants to help Sasuke-chan, Gramps, cross Tobi’s heart! But Tobi doesn’t like the Sharingan and the Sharingan don’t like Tobi. And that’s just the truth.” Tobi crossed his arms, sniffling and scrunching his nose. “And don’t say what you’re gonna say. Tobi knows what’s up. Minato-sensei’s little boy is on that team too, isn’t he?”

He absolutely was. Tobi had speed-read the entire document while he was reading it out loud. But even the remnant of Obito’s genius was still considerable, and Tobi’s moments of keen insight were useful for pushing the enemy into a corner. 

“I thought you might appreciate the chance to look after your sensei’s son,” Sarutobi said mildly, removing a silver lighter from his pocket. Engraved, a gift from Biwako. Was that on purpose? A mind game on Tobi, an unconscious memory on his part, or a purposeful evocation of a memory just for him? Was he trying to remind Tobi of something or corner Obito? Damn this man. “Help him like your sensei helped you.”

The really great thing about Tobi was that he could get away with saying this. It was only to the left of cathartic, but at least it was in the zone. “I’m not stupid, Gramps!” Tobi yelled. The ANBU in the corners twitched, but when Sarutobi’s fingernail clicked on the silver lighter they subsided. “You’re giving Minato-sensei and Kushina-neechan’s little baby and his fox to the last Sharingan because you want the Sharingan to eat the Fox! Why are you doing what you want when you know it won’t work? Tobi’s tried, he can’t - he can’t, Gramps.”

It wasn’t the sort of thing any self-respecting Uchiha would admit. Half of them would kill themselves if they lost their Sharingan. Uchiha Obito, whose Sharingan was the pride and joy of the clan - who was the Uchiha’s Uchiha before Itachi-kun was even a twinkle in his mother’s eye - would never abandon his one point of value. 

And everybody knew how prideful the Uchiha were. There was no Uchiha alive who would pretend to be Tobi. Could you imagine? What Uchiha would humiliate themselves like this with a goofy smile on their face? A regular human being could barely do it. An Uchiha? Forget it. Impossible.

But Kushina-neechan’s favorite shinobi was always the most surprising of all. And Obito cared about that more than all the rest. 

The only ninja who would have ferreted him out was Kakashi. Kakashi and his dopey, stupid smile. His ridiculous porn books and his clumsy pratfalls. His laziness, lateness, and utter underachiever lifestyle. Only Kakashi ever said those words, with a wink and a smile: a true shinobi looked underneath the underneath. So save your energy and watch the clouds with me, Uchiha-kun. No? Maybe next time…

The next time never came. Being a good Uchiha had always meant something, and the useless son of a disgraced clan meant nothing at all. Nothing to anybody but Minato and Kushina and Rin and Obito.

“You’re better than nothing.” In that second, Sarutobi really did look very tired. He didn’t look like he was lying at all. “You’re the best we have, Tobi.”

Tobi was silent. Sarutobi knew it wasn’t much of a compliment. Even somebody like Tobi would know that. 

“As a favor to Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun,” Sarutobi said, “and as a favor to me. Please give these children the help you can. Don’t worry - I’ll ask the other jounin to pitch in and help.” 

Tobi lowered his voice, and he allowed his tone to grow a little more serious. “I’m not strong. I’m not good at molding chakra and I haven’t really fought anyone in a long time. I can’t protect the children.” 

“We’ll be careful,” Sarutobi allowed. But there was something in his eye… “You may be rusty, but I doubt you’re out of the ring yet. Have a little faith in yourself.” The look in his eyes glinted and grew, and for the first time he stared right at Tobi. “You did hold your own against Uchiha Itachi.”

They stared at each other for a long second, two. A little too late, Tobi laughed and scrubbed the back of his neck. “Silly Gramps! I said a billion times. Tobi hid. I don’t think Itachi-kun thought it was worth it to kill me…I don’t think Itachi-kun ever thought I was a real Uchiha. But we’ve showed him, huh?” Tobi grinned, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Now there’s three whole Uchiha in the whole wide world! One third’s a serial killer, one third’s twelve, and one third is…drumroll please…Tobi! Konoha’s in good hands, ne?”

Tobi smiled at the man who ordered Uchiha Itachi to kill their entire family.

Sarutobi smiled back at the man who was currently pulling the most intricate and improbable lying campaign in a village of ninjas. In Obito’s defense, it was to save his own life. Sarutobi had murdered his family to - well, save the village, but Tobi didn’t have to like it. 

“Thank you for accepting the mission. I trust you’ll do splendidly.”

“Uh. Tobi didn’t -”

“The children ought to be waiting for you in the schoolroom at 1000 hours. You ought to head over - I expect you’re already late.”

Tobi squealed, looking at the unwound watch on his wrist and slapping his head. “Oh no! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! Bye, Gramps! You promise-promise to get back-up for Tobi, right?”

Pleasantly, Sarutobi said, “I would not trust you alone with those children, no.”

“Yay! Okay, gotta goooo!”

When he left Sarutobi’s office, he was about ten minutes late to his meeting with the children. By the time he arrived at the school he was over an hour late. Lost on the road of life and all that. It didn’t matter - venting about this ridiculousness to Kakashi was way more important than meeting the brats on time.

This would be a disaster. There was no way this would end well. Tobi was a brain damaged, traumatized moron who couldn’t use his one skill and who hadn’t been on active duty since he whoopsie-daisy’d his sword into his best friend’s heart. If Sarutobi didn’t keep up his promise and drag in the other jounin to take up his slack then he’d riot. Did he want Tobi to do work? Tobi? He had resigned from capitalism and the military industrial complex. Pulling him into this shit again - as if he hadn’t suffered enough -

As if Sasuke and Naruto hadn’t. Maybe one of Sarutobi’s stupid-ass motivations was because he knew that only Tobi would be nice to Sasuke and Naruto. Damn Naruto especially. For that, at least…if only as a favor to Minato-sensei…

To make up for it…maybe a little bit of real work would be the least he could do.

Ugh. Hopefully not that much.

Tobi finally touched down at the school, following the Academy hallways to Sasuke’s classroom by route memory. He dropped off Sasuke’s lunch a lot. It embarrassed him so much. It was classic.

Tobi walked into the classroom and allowed a large basket of glitter to fall on top of his head.

A peal of laughter squealed throughout the room, and Tobi opened his eyes to see Uzumaki Naruto clutching his sides and laughing his ass off. Quite rudely, Sasuke had his feet propped up on a desk. That third girl was sitting primly in her seat, terrified. 

“What an idiot! Our new sensei actually fell for - wait.” Naruto straightened, squinting at Tobi. He yelled, jabbing a finger at him. “Hey! Number Two Ramen Fan! What the hell are you doing here?”

Sasuke almost fell out of his seat. He scrambled to his feet, panicked in his special Sasuke way - that was, eyes a little wider than usual. “Tobi? Did I forget my lunch?”

“Um?” Sakura Haruno hunched her shoulders in her seat, picking at the corner of a scroll. “Uchiha Obito’s our sensei. I thought you knew. Did you…not know?”

“Is this a joke?” Sasuke cried. “Who the hell thought this was funny? Tobi couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag! If they’re bullying us again, I swear to god I’ll strangle whoever -”

“Whoah,” Naruto cried, impressed. “Violent!”

“Everybody’s always bullying Tobi,” Sasuke snapped. “I’m an Uchiha. What sort of Uchiha would I be if I tolerated that?”

Glitter dripped down Tobi’s hair and sprinkled onto his clothing. He smiled, big and bright, and clapped his hands together. Sasuke was groaning, but Naruto and Sakura just leaned in closer - caught in a morbid curiosity, desperate to meet their own fate. Signed and sealed. “Tobi’s first impression of you all is…you’re so funny! Tobi likes you!”

The kids paled. 

[specialized-rexan]

SCREENSHOTS I GOT FROM THE JEREMY JORDAN LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY. especially love the comments on his duck drawings. he was very proud of some of them since he needed to practice before the stream. he admits he does not draw much lol

and here's Lucifer's signature that Jeremy came up with: a cursive capital L attached to a pentagram!

the stream was SO FUN and literally only felt like 20 minutes even tho it was almost an hour

at one point he mentioned he's making pancakes with olive oil now since he has high cholesterol, and that he LOVES how the pancakes turned out. someone responded:

(later someone joked he should make pancakes with bacon grease and he almost shouted (not angrily) "DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE? I JUST SAID I HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL. I just said. I had high cholesterol. Are you TRYING. To kill me."

anyway back to screenshots lol)

"Take that, depression!" was a popular quote to write on prints, and he said he hoped we're not depressed and it was very sweet

some more quotes written during the stream and other notes:

"I'm gonna be signing these prints of my boy Lucifer, the short king of Hell"

he drank both a cold smoothie and hot tea during the stream. "Doesn't make any goddamn sense, but here we go."

"It's never too late to fuck up--too late to fuck shit up" (a legitimate accidental stammer. but still perfect in its own way)

"Every time I hear the name 'Shay' I think of my daughter's friend at school. My daughter's obsessed with a friend named Shay. 'S all she talks about. 'Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay.' Shay and Madeline. It's like 'You can be your own person. Clara. You are your own HUMAN.' …HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATHERINE."

hopes to go to some conventions for Hazbin Hotel. more likely to go to cons in New York, New Jersey (where he lives), or Philly area

"He's just a li'l cutie. :3 Is he really da bosh? :3" (wondering if Lucifer really is the Big Boss of Hell Himself or if it's just more of a title)

"Hope you're not depressed"

" 'Write something Lucifer would say to cheer someone up.' And I think Lucifer would think that… 'SINGING MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!' At least when it comes to rebuilding your relationship with your daughter."

"Guess what's in my smoothie. There are six ingredients. Go."

"…said draw a little duck, so I drew the smallest duck I could. (holds print up to camera then says in small high-pitched voice:) It's a little duck!"

MORE QUOTES UNDER THE CUT. THIS POST IS GETTING LONG ASFQJSKSKSKKS

_____

about his smoothie again: "Obviously, I just went to the gym. So I gotta have some kinda supplement in there. ... WHAT'S THE BASE, Y'ALL? YOU GOTTA HAVE A BASE." (someone could use that audio and give a character a bass guitar lol)

(still about people guessing smoothie ingredients:) "WATER? Why would I put water in my smoothie. (mutters:) Water is for losers. ... Kale! -grins and points at camera- That's it! You win. That's my smoothie."

his smoothie was blueberries, bananas, strawberries, protein powder, almond milk, kale

"…with a hUUGE shmiley faysh! :3" (about a little " =) " smile he wrote with an autograph)

"THAT DUCK IS CUTE!"

"We love, we stan Lilith"

AGGRESSIVELY, ABOUT A JOKE HE MADE: "GET IT?"

Some fatherly advice from Lucifer: "Don't fuck up your lives like I did 😎"

HE SANG THE START OF HELL'S GREATEST DAD AND WANTS A MIMZY-LESS VERSION THAT ACTUALLY HAS AN ENDING QSJFKSKKSKS

he's only seen Hazbin Hotel once, and he had "~champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to staaart~" going through his head for the two+ years between recording his lines and the show airing. he wasn't able to tell anyone it because of non-disclosure stuff, and eventually he even forgot what that song line was from. but it still went through his head

"[Person he was signing an autograph for] is a bi girl [bisexual], and that's pretty baller"

"AN INCREDIBLE DUCK YOU SHALL HAVE"

"Take that depression!! Quack"

"Hold please!" (i just liked imagining Lucifer saying almost any small thing)

Jeremy Jordan says Lucifer is short, and not just that all the other characters are tall (i cannot confirm that that is canon even tho that's what i want LOL) "What gives!? There are short people in this world, and they need some love"

someone asked what he thinks about OC x canon ships. he was confused about what OC means and then when the chat explained, he was confused about how "OC x canon" works. but he figured it out after thinking for a moment. "So basically everybody wants to fuck Lucifer. GOT IT."

"Am I going to Hell for this" (about all the pentagrams he's drawing)

"…so i just did a bunch of stars and hearts around Emery's name 💜"

someone asked about his favorite Hazbin Hotel song, and he answered that season 2 has a rock song he really likes 👀 👀

"(a requested phrase for an autograph:) 'Duck lord loves you no matter what.' ...Don't know what that particularly means but…"

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

I Would Tell Them If I Could, But I Can't

Words: 1823

Warnings: angst, reference to reader and Spencer having previous relationship, probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

Criminal Minds Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

Reader and Spencer had a relationship for about 2 years before they broke up and then they just kinda slept with one another after bad cases which lead to the reader getting pregnant. They kinda have a co-parenting lifestyle where reader is the "lead" parent and Spencer get's child (Avery) on weekends and some weekday

Only Hotch and Strauss and JJ and Emily know (Hotch because he's her boss, Strauss because she's Hotch's boss, JJ because she's Spencer best friend, and Emily because she's reader's best friend)

Takes place during JJ and Will's wedding/the end of Hit/Run (Yes, I am aware that Emily also left in this episode, it basically was a double whammy. Except the whole team knew about Emily but not about reader)

I literally forgot about this...it's been sitting in my drafts for about 1-2 weeks lol

This was originally written for my OC Abby (which will be posted on my other account @imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters later)

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

Y/N stared at her friends laughing and dancing around in Rossi’s backyard. She watched as Avery chased Henry and Jack around with a stick. She watched as everyone was happy. And she could tell that they were truly happy. Happier than they had been since Emily’s “death”. She wanted to keep it that way, but she knew that soon it would change. They go into the office on Monday and see her desk cleared. She placed the papers on Hotch’s desk yesterday morning. Before they were called down to the bank. She had no idea if he had seen them. But it didn’t matter. She was changing to work with the CIA. It was a better job. Better hours. Not much of a better pay...but she would get to be home for Avery more.

So she felt like this was a good goodbye. Everyone smiling and happy for JJ and Will. No one had to know about her resignation. Not yet. She knew it was cruel, leaving that down to Hotch to tell them. But she thinks it would be easier for her. She already knew that she wouldn’t be able to handle Penny’s crying. The only person who knew was Spencer. And him trying to convince her to stay was hard enough. She knew that if she had everyone trying, she would give in and let them convince her to stay.

“Does anyone know?” She jumped slightly at her Unit Chief's voice. He let out a small chuckle, “Sorry, I should have announced myself. I know you aren’t in the space to not be startled by someone coming up beside you.”

“It’s fine Hotch.” She blew out a bit of air, “And except for you and Strauss, it’s Spencer.” She crossed her arms, “Figured I had to tell him since he’s taking Avery this weekend.”

“Oh yeah? Where is he taking her?”

She laughed, “God I wish I knew. He’s keeping it a secret.”

“So, the CIA?”

She nodded, “They’ve been trying to get me since before that talk you had with us a few months ago.” She looked at him, “About the budget cuts. I was going to talk to you about it that day, but you walked out so fast I never had the time. And then we just kept getting cases so I never had the time to breach the subject with you.”

He nodded, “So what made you decide to take it?”

She looked back at everyone, “Something JJ had said about her time at the Pentagon and something Strauss told me.”

“Which was?”

“JJ told me that while she missed us, she would never deny how happy it made her to get to see Henry more. And to not have to worry about being pulled out and away from him randomly. More stable hours. All of it.” She pushed some hair out of her face, “I talked to who would be my boss to see if that would be possible. They offered me a different position. One I could only get with Strauss’s permission. That was how she found out and I started on the papers.”

“And what did Strauss say?”

“To think of Avery. To think of what would be better for her. And I did. The job at the CIA provides more stability. It’s more of an executive role. I could be home at a more reasonable time. And it’s a closer drive than it is to Quantico. Plus, it is a promotion.” She laughed, “I actually was in disbelief of Strauss convincing me to take it.”

Hotch laughed with her, “That is a strange feat.” He sighed, “So today was your last day.” She nodded, “And you’re leaving the responsibility to tell the team to me, aren’t you?”

She sighed, “It’s not like it’s what I want to do, but it’s easier for me. I don’t think I could handle Penny’s crying.”

He nodded, “You know you’ll just have her showing up at your apartment in tears, correct?”

“Yes, but she’ll also show up with a container of cookies. So it’s more of a win than a loss.”

“I can’t deny that one.” Hotch turned to face her, “It’s been a pleasure to work with you these past 4 years. And if you ever wish to return, the BAU will be happy to have you back.”

She smiled at him, for once she wasn’t surprised to see a smile on his face. If there was one thing Y/N had to say about Hotch, it was that he could be predictable. And she knew that he was going for a handshake, the more professional option, but she wrapped her arms around him. While he could be a pain in her ass sometimes, she would never deny that he knew when she needed a break and forced her to take it. And she wouldn’t deny that sometimes she saw him more as a father than a boss, which she knew was what he wanted sometimes.

“Thank you for not getting upset and trying to convince me to stay, Hotch.”

“If I know anything, Y/N, it’s that sometimes you need to make the choice that would be better for your kid. It may not always be the easiest, but it’s the best.” He pulled away, “I’m going to head back to the party before anyone becomes too suspicious of us talking.”

She laughed, “They are profilers afterall, I think they got suspicious the second you smiled.”

He laughed as he walked away, “That much is true.”

And as he walked away, she saw Spencer was walking towards her with Avery on his hip. She gave them a soft smile as they neared.

“Someone here is getting tired.”

“Aw,” She took Avery from Spencer’s arms, “Is my little girl tired.” Avery nodded softly, “Okay, it is getting late. We’ll soon.” Avery nodded again and laid her head on Y/N's shoulder.

“So, did you tell him?” 

Y/N nodded, “Pretty sure it was reluctantly, but he approved my resignation letter. I start Monday.”

He sighed, “You know that the only reason I didn’t really fight you was because it’ll be better for Avery. Otherwise I would have argued with you. And won.”

She hummed, “Nah, I would definitely have won and not given in. Only Penny can out-argue me and I will accept defeat from.”

He laughed, “That’s understandable. Like, totally and completely understandable.”

“Well, I think that I am going to go on out, join me out front in about 10?”

He nodded, “You gonna get my keys from the bowl?”

She nodded, “Yep, I’ll get them and transfer the stuff to your car.” She sighed, “I’ll go tell everyone bye. And try to avoid promising to see them on Monday.”

He laughed, “That’s gonna be a hard one.”

“Shh,” She hushed me, “Let me dream.”

She followed Spencer down and saw as he went to talk with Emily and Rossi. So she started with Penelope and Derek. Derek saw her walking over to them and threw his signature smile at her. “Hey Pretty Girl, how can we help you?”

“Hey, I’m gonna head out. Avery here is all tired out. So I think I’ll see y’all later.”

Penelope gave her a goofy smile, “Yeaaaah. We’ll see you on Monday!”

Y/N's smile faltered slightly before she kept it up, “Yeah! Totally! See you later.” 

She blew a kiss at Penelope and brought Avery’s sleepy hand to wave at the two as she walked over to Emily and Rossi. She told them the same and soon enough she was walking over to Will and JJ. JJ shot her a happy, but tired smile.

“Hey, you heading out?”

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, Avery is all tuckered out so I’m gonna take her home.”

JJ raised an eyebrow, “You or...?”

Y/N laughed, “He is. But I’m leaving first to be able to switch everything over to his car.”

JJ laughed, “Alright. I’ll see you on Monday?”

Y/N froze for a brief moment. Thought that she should maybe tell her the truth. But she didn’t. She just smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll see you Monday.” She waved at them both, didn’t even try to have Avery wave as the small girl was dead asleep. “Bye JJ. Bye Will. Tell Henry bye for me.”

Henry nodded, “We will.”

Avery walked away from them and then out to the front of the house. She grabbed both hers and Spencer's keys from the bowl on the table and walked out of the house. She walked down to her car and carefully opened it without waking Avery up. She was able to move everything from her car to Spencer’s without waking the small girl on her hip. Just as she was getting Avery ready to place in Spencer’s car, he walked out. 

He gave her a soft smile as he got closer. “Is she asleep?”

Y/N glanced at him as she was buckling Avery in. “Yeah, she fell asleep as I was talking with Emily and Rossi.” She kissed Avery’s temple before carefully shutting the door. “So, when will I learn what you are taking her to do this weekend?”

He hummed, “Never if I have anything to say about it.”

She smirked, “So evil Spencer Reid, oh so evil.” She sighed and leaned against his car door, “Are you really okay with me leaving?”

He crossed his arms, “If I’m going to be perfectly honest? Absolutely not. But I know that it is what’s best. For your mental health and for Avery.” He sighed, “You know that the team is going to be upset that you’re leaving without telling them.”

She nodded, “I know, Spence, I know. But as you said, it’s what’s best for me and for Avery. And besides, Hotch said that if I wanted to rejoin, I always could. So who knows,” She shrugged, “I could end up being JJ and coming back because I miss this all too much.”

He laughed, “Maybe I’ll hope for that.”

She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, maybe.” She said, “I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you later, alright?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Y/N walked away from Spencer and back to her car. And as she got into the front and started it, she smiled sadly as she listened to “This Year’s Love” by David Gray played through her speakers. As she drove home, she thought about the past nearly 5 years she lived on this team. All of the good and bad things that had happened in the past years. All of the good and bad memories that she had.

She knew she still had more to go through. More to learn. More to live. But she was happy to have lived this life the past years of her life.

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” ― Tim McGraw

[akechiguro]

studying for O.W.Ls with them ♡

headcanons

included: sebastian sallow, ominis gaunt, garreth weasley, poppy sweeting, natsai onai, imelda reyes

Synopsis | a collection of headcanons for when the hogwarts legacy cast asks to study for the O.W.L. exams with you.

Word Count | 2.3k

Content Warnings | none.

Author’s Note | alternate universe where professor fig lives! totally not because i forgot he died midway through writing ♡ also posting this tired sorry for types in vance!

sebastian sallow

what subject are you studying for? | magical theory.

“[Y/N], you know I’m complete arse at Magical Theory…please, study with me?”

-though you didn’t sit next to him in professor fig’s class, you could tell just by the desperation in his voice when he asked to study with you that he didn’t pay attention in magical theory. he found you sitting outside your common room late one night and practically begged you to help him study, and how could you say no to that face?

-even with your light wrist taps every time he went off focus, sebastian found it hard to stay on task while studying. the subject just didn’t appeal to him. he got distracted by the smallest things it felt like, such as discovering the contents of the enchanted books flying around the library or subtly shifting the conversation to something that would distract you both. he was good at that.

-after discovering sebastian’s sly tactics to change the subject from studying to literally anything else, you changed your approach. you found a study book that included diagrams and visuals for magical theory, which held his attention a lot more than the blocks of text in the other books. it’s no wonder he does so well in classes with practical applications, he’s a visual learner.

-on the day of the exam, sebastian walked in semi-confident, or at least more confident than he would have been had he not studied at all. professor fig was proud to see sebastian look more confident than he did with ordinary end-of-unit exams, and even more proud to see how well your study session paid off.

-upon seeing his score, sebastian was so grateful that he swore he’d do anything you asked to make up for it– which he quickly realized wasn’t as good a thing as he hoped. he clearly underestimated your mischievous nature.

final score | A, for Acceptable.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

ominis gaunt

what subject are you studying for? | potions.

“You need help studying? Do you not pay attention in class? Well, I suppose I’m rubbish potions as well…fine. I will study with you.”

-ominis is one of the best listeners you know. despite being one of the main mischief makers in slytherin, he always seems to be on top of his grades and never turns in an assignment late. despite this, there are some classes he just cannot grasp, and potions is one of them. he’s studied all he could, even tried brewing what he heard was going to be on the practice part of the O.W.L, but it seems nothing works. maybe studying with you will be different.

-ominis was actually the one keeping you on task. while studying your textbooks, you would find a funny potion or potion name and show him, which would earn you a small chuckle from him but a scolding immediately after. the only thing that seemed to make him lose focus was the idea of brewing amortentia, which you found the recipe for in one of your books. even so, he made you go back on task immediately after.

-when both of you felt confident you could nail the written portion of the exam, the practice came next. you migrated from the library to the undercroft and got to work. you took turns timing and grading each other for how well your potions turned out, and because of the year you had, you were understandably better at brewing than ominis was, but he was learning quick.

-ominis waited for you outside the potions classroom before walking in to take the exam. you took a moment to make sure yesterday’s cramming session was still fresh in your minds and then finally went to take the test. ominis was at a different brewing table than you, so that plan you came up with to give light taps to remind each other what answer you got quickly went down the drain.

-both of you did really well! however, ominis did better on the written portion while you did better on the practical. ominis treated you to butterbeer at the three broomsticks to celebrate.

final score | E, for Exceeds Expectations.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

garreth weasley

what subject are you studying for? | divination.

“I told you, I like astronomy, not so much divination! I can barely foretell what the next few hours are going to bring, much less the next month! Please, [Y/N], you have to study with me!”

-you weren’t surprised when garreth came to ask you for help studying divination. while he was a much better student than everyone made him out to be, especially in transfiguration and astronomy, his grade in divination wouldn’t reflect that in the slightest. he didn’t understand how it worked, thought the whole class was stupid, only took it because his mom made him, etc…so of course you agreed to help.

-initially, you’d gone to the three broomsticks to study since garreth has a weird aversion to the library, but after seeing who could drink the most butterbeer before their stomach started to hurt, it proved incredibly ineffective. you ended up moving to a quieter place on the edge of hogsmede to practice reading tea leaves, which worked a little—but not much—better.

-after a while, you’d finally worked out a system that worked enough for both of you to at least try and retain information. study for the written section for 30 minutes, practical for 30 minutes, chill for 20. between when you started to now, garreth had learned the basics of reading oracle cards and could decipher 8 out of 10 message in tea leaves!

-the divination final did NOT go as well as he’d planned. while you studied everything you needed to for the written portion, which he finished relatively quickly, the practical was something neither of you studied: palm reading. luckily you were partners for this section so you could at least try to bullshit your way through it, but you were caught.

-the written portion went decently and that’s what matters. to celebrate, garreth took you back into hogsmede for a honeydukes / zonko’s shopping spree. when will he ever use palm reading anyway, right?

final score | P, for poor.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

poppy sweeting

what subject are you studying for? astronomy.

“Hey, [Y/N]? With O.W.Ls coming up, I’m starting to worry about my Astronomy grade…if you’re up for it, can you accompany me to the Astronomy Tower to study before the exam?”

-poppy is one of those people where you would have never guessed they’re bad at any subject. it feels like you’ve never seen her anywhere outside the beasts class, and yet she currently had a low A in astronomy— you had to giggle. you couldn’t judge her, though, she just wanted her grade to be better and was asking you specifically for help. how could you say no?

-while her asking to study with you was surprising, her preferred study spot was not: the beasts classroom (class hut?). you had to be pretty quiet with the time of night, but it actually proved to be a really good study spot! the easy access to the night sky accompanied by the white noise from the fantastic beasts wasn’t something you would have expected from the outdoor class.

-poppy knew a lot more than you did when it came to what would be on the written portion. despite her asking you for help, she was actually the one helping you study for a while— or at least, until you got to studying for the practical, or studying the constellations. there were a few easy ones to remember, such as Draco and Sirius, but stuff like Camelopardalis and Horolugium were harder to retain. understandably so; the names tripped you up, as well.

-knowing all the work you put in to help poppy study for the exam was enough to make her more confident. all the constellations that weren’t animals were easy to remember, anyways; for the zodiacs, she could just recall one of her friends born under the constellation, and as for the ones not animal or zodiac related, she’d been up all night with you memorizing flash cards. there was no way she could fail this test, not with the help you gave her.

-after the exam finished, she practically dragged you out to the forbidden forest to take Highwing for a ride around the castle. seeing her so enthusiastic after the exam probably meant good things, and watching her have a good time afterward was almost infectious. seeing her in such a good mood put you in one, too, and you decided you probably did good on the exam as well.

final score | O, for Outstanding.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

natsai onai

what subject are you studying for? | herbology.

“If you are not too busy, would you mind helping me study for the Herbology O.W.L? The concepts are not as easy for me to grasp, since my Herbology class at Uagadou was not this extensive.”

-natty is a kind soul. she has a gentle nature and everyone close to her knows that. so when she came to you requesting you study for the herbology exam, you were…surprised. natty is in no way a bad student, in fact, she’s probably one of the better ones, but herbology felt so trivial in comparison to some of the classes she took, and you told her this. she responded with a shrug and just said she didn’t grasp it as easily as, say, arithmancy.

-spending time in the greenhouses with natty actually proved to be a lot of fun! you went off task a surprising amount, just goofing around with the chinese chomping cabbages and seeing who could make their fluxweed grow faster (through your ancient magic connection, you won), and yet somehow you both retained a lot of information. studying with her actually made you feel smarter, in a weird way. maybe it’s the way she explains things– she’s very articulate.

-it was the written portion that was messing you up. while natty could answer some of the practice questions pretty easily, you were getting tripped up, since a few of the questions made it sound as though any answer could be correct. it turned more into natty-making-you-study than studying together. but she helped you understand why each answer was what…at least, mostly. did bubotuber paste really work as a beauty modification tool?

-natty was one of the first to finish the exam, just after adelaide oakes and leona everleigh. on her way back to her seat, she very subtly pointed out the answer to a question she noticed you struggling with. when you thanked her for it after the exam finished, all she said was, “It is thanks for helping me study…but I will not let you cheat again.”

-post-exam celebration was in order, and a trip to the three broomsticks was natty’s pick. she explained that they didn’t have butterbeer in Uagadou, or at least not any this amazing, so she often found herself winding up here in her free time. sirona was more than happy to hear about how exams went, and even offered you a couple drinks on the house, as a reward for doing so well.

final score | O, for outstanding.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

imelda reyes

what subject are you studying for? | defense against the dark arts.

“[Y/N], there you are. Come study with me. That’s not a request…hm? What subject? Whatever, you’ll find out!”

-imelda actually had to swallow her pride to ask you to help her study for the D.A.D.A. exam. while she’s wicked on a broom, and not half bad at arithmancy or magical theory, she struggles with defense against the dark arts…ironically. if quidditch has taught her anything, it’s how to think fast, but agility and strength don’t correlate to skill in wandwork.

-despite initially asking to study in the quidditch field, she knew she would get you both distracted with the presence of a time trial on the pitch and opted for the slytherin common room instead (the viaduct courtyard if you’re not a slytherin). she claimed she’s already studied everything she needed to know on the written portion of the exam, and only needed help with the practical part…which was essentially her way of getting out of work to gossip with you. she knew a lot more than she let on, that’s for sure– could anyone have seen Everett Clopton having admirers coming? have you heard the rumors going around about Ominis and Sebastian? Leander Prewett got a new broom for his birthday and swears he’s gonna take the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor next year…fat chance, hah. (her words, not yours!)

-when you finally convinced her to start studying for the practical portion, she genuinely wasn’t as bad as she made herself out to be. while she wasn’t on your level, she could hold her own in a fight and was especially good at dodging attacks to follow them up with one. ironically enough the thing she struggled with was the pace at which you fire spells back to back. there was a point where she almost singed her eyebrows off casting an Incendio and Expelliarmus combo, since her movements were uncertain, sparks from the flame ended up going towards her rather than the training dummy. she wasn’t too happy about that.

-imelda seemed her usual self walking into the exam, overconfident and snide. you watched her intently during the practical portion of the O.W.L., and she did alright, albeit with minor mistakes. she waited for you outside the classroom until everyone was gone to thank you for studying with her and that she, “probably could’ve done it [her]self, but your help is appreciated.”

-prior to the exam, she made you swear you’d go racing with her once exams were over, and she held you to that. you went a lot farther than you thought you would– you expected to just run the timed trial a couple of times and let that be that. instead, you flew the entirety of the castle, past the station, and headed into Irondale before starting back to the school. admittedly, you had a lot more fun with her than you initially thought you would, especially considering her attitude. perhaps you misjudged her.

final score | A, for Acceptable.

[aloneinthehellfire]

Eight Months (Part 4)

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n went missing at the end of spring. A note was left explaining that after her father, Bob Newby, died, she just couldn’t bear to stay in Hawkins. The others were shocked but after gaining no leads on where she could be, they had to accept that she was gone. But when summer rolls in and Hawkins starts getting scary, Steve and Dustin find themselves venturing into a Russian base and uncover more secrets than they bargained for.

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: swearing, [flashbacks], mentions of drugs (being drugged), blood, mentions of guns

[A/N: this one is really short just bc i completely forgot this fic existed and i wanted to post before i forget again oops. i do have more planned and i promise to continue with it once my uni work is done!!]

Eight Months [Masterlist]

Eight Months: Drugged Confessions

[Part Four]

“You sound like a muppet.”

“She sounds like a muppet.”

Robin and Steve’s laughs echoed from the walls, showing joy you clearly didn’t have.

After Dustin and Erica’s rescue mission, you had been on one hell of an elevator ride, stuffed into a cinema, and curled up to a mall bathroom toilet within the space of an hour.

It had been one big blur, and from everything that happened, you still couldn’t believe you had escaped.

Eight months. That’s how long you had been down there. Even sat with Robin and Steve watching Back To The Future, half out of your mind, you couldn’t ignore the thought that lingered in the back of your mind; you had been tortured for eight months.

Once it got too much, you had ran away from the others and sprinted towards the furthest stall in the bathroom, retching up the last of the drug before leaning against the wall, curled up with your head on your knees. It didn’t take long for the tears to come.

You were still crying when Steve and Robin stumbled into the bathroom, getting the drug out of their systems. You should have called out to them once they entered. Hell, you should have called out to them as soon as Steve started confessing his feelings. But the pain you felt when you realised Steve liked Robin was too much to bear. So you kept quiet, head down, willing the tears to stop.

And then Robin explained herself, sharing her deepest secret, and you realised you shouldn’t be there listening in.

You took your cue to leave once they started laughing about singing muppets, slowly uncurling yourself and reaching out to take hold of the toilet seat, using it as a prop to pull you up.

Which, to your mistake, was the worst possible decision to make. Because the seat was slippery. And so was your hand.

“Ow.” You squeaked when you hit the ground again, elbow surely bruised from the impact.

There’s a shuffle of movement, and then your stall door is slowly being opened, revealing you led awkwardly on the floor.

“Y/n?” Steve frowns, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Oh, heyy.” You attempt, sitting up and wiping your hands on your jeans. He laughs for just a second before noticing your tear stained cheeks.

“Are you okay?” He crouches, concern written across his face and you let out a breathy laugh, gently brushing over his bruised face.

“You’re not the one who should be asking those questions.”

Steve simply shrugs it away, helping you off the floor, and leading you around to where Robin is sat, the girl looking sheepish.

“Look,” You slide down the wall to sit beside her, offering a smile. “I didn’t hear anything if you didn’t want me to. But… I don’t really know you, we literally only met today, or yesterday, I don’t know. What I do know is… you deserve to be happy with who you are. And I’d never jeopardise that.”

Robin’s lips stretch into a sincere smile, nodding her head before a laugh leaves her lips.

“What?” Steve frowns, smirking despite his confusion.

“I’ve barely known her twenty four hours, and I already like her better than you.” Robin admits, still laughing.

You try and contain your laugh when Steve’s face drops to a glare, but soon it giggles out of you until you don’t think you can stop. Steve soon joins in and you all sit on the floor of the cubicle, laughing.

“We should probably tell Dustin where we are before he freaks out on us.” You finally say after your laughter dies down, and when your friends give you their best blank stares, you groan. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

You stand up and quickly swipe the toilet roll to dab at your face, just in case, before sending them a smile and stepping out of the bathroom.

“You need to tell her.” Robin speaks once the door swings shut.

“Huh?” Steve looks back at his friend, the image of your smile playing on his mind.

“Today’s all about confessions.” Robin smiles, tilting her head. “And I know for a fact that you weren’t talking about me a second ago.”

Steve sighs, resting his head against the bathroom stall wall, “I never got the chance to tell her when she left. Because I was an idiot.”

“No objections here.” Robin jokes, leaning forward and smirking at her friend, “Well, guess what?”

“What?”

“She’s here now.” Robin points out and Steve nods slowly.

“Yeah, yeah I-”

His words are interrupted by the sound of a loud gunshot, fear striking their spines.

Then, after a moment of heavy breathing, Steve’s stomach drops and he looks to Robin who bore the same terrified expression.

“Y/n.” Steve says before scrambling from the floor, the door of the bathrooms swinging open in that moment.

Dustin and Erica step through, panting.

“We heard a gunshot!” Erica’s eyes were wide, “You said nothing about guns.”

“Okay, actually, we mentioned it dozens of times, but that’s not important. We need to find a place to hide, like, right now.” Dustin panics as Robin stands next to Steve, nodding her head quickly.

But Steve didn’t care about his safety right now as he pushes past the kids.

“Hey, didn’t you hear-”

“Yeah, I did!” Steve spins around, backing towards the door, “But I’m not hiding away when Y/n is out there!”

Dustin’s face falls before he lets out a frustrated sigh. He only just got you back, he wasn’t letting you go. “Then we should move quickly.”

They all run out of the bathroom, sweat they didn’t even realise they had soaking their clothes, and turn the corner, immediately freezing.

“No.”

The word escapes Steve’s lips as they stare at the Russian man, his gun still pointed to a figure on the floor, blood staining their clothes.

As the man turns around, the others fight to drag Steve away. But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t leave you bleeding on the floor.

taglist: @hereiamhereigo | @snackycake1975 | @zbeez-outlet | @sadbitchfangirl | @evansflowers | @sammy-is-not-smiley | @tattooedkiss13 | @steveslittlefreak | @thrown-off-her-rhythm | @live-the-fangirl-life | @s3xymoonman | @starkleila | @phantomxoxo | @suniloli | @actuallybarb | @harringtonshairychest | @manyfandomsfanvergent

[cryley]

Petrichor - Part 1

matty healy x reader (fluff) word count: 2.4k A/N: (moved from @cryley-fics where it was originally posted) ♡ Helloooo, it's Ry. This is actually the first fic I've posted on tumblr and also the first fic I've written in 7ish years. I've recently been yanked back into my 1975 obsession and literally can't stop thinking about Matty, so I decided to write again. Please please please be kind since I am v rusty with my writing ♡ ▹ masterlist ▹ part 1 ▹ part 2 ▹ part 3 ▹ part 4 ▹ part 5

I quickly brushed my hands off onto my apron before walking to the back room. Glancing at my watch, I groaned. It was too early to be awake. Well, I didn’t feel awake, but I tried my hardest to appear coherent. My eyes scanned the shelf full of metallic-looking bags until I found the one I needed. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here this early.”

“Good morning to you too, Atlas.” Grabbing the full bag of espresso beans, I chuckled. “I requested this afternoon off.”

Pushing my way back through the swinging door, I plopped the bag on the counter. The cafe was really quiet in the mornings before we opened. It was nice to see it this way before the rush of equally tired people waiting to get their dose of beans.

“Well if you ever want to switch permanently to mornings, I can maybe convince Lansen.” Atlas stood at the end of the counter tying his apron around his waist. 

I liked working the afternoon shifts, but it is nice working morning shifts when you end your shift at noon. Yeah, waking up at 3 am to get ready for work is the least fun thing to do in the world, but it beats retail. 

I shrugged and continued filling the machine with the beans, “When you’re done clocking in, can you finish setting up while I count in the back?”

Looking over to Atlas, he nodded. He didn’t mind staying out front all morning if I’d let him. Paperwork was his enemy. 

We were both some of the only shift leaders at this cafe. Most employees were either underage, newer hires, or simply just didn’t want the responsibility. Atlas was a very charismatic people-person who is perfect for customer interaction while I was…well let’s just say I liked doing back-of-house paperwork. 

Walking over to my side, he bumped my shoulder to give me the queue that he will take over. Before pushing past the door, I switched on the speakers and put on the “manager-approved playlist” which mostly just consisted of repetitive weird piano and smooth jazz.

I placed the register drawers on the desk and got to counting. My head bobbed to the awkward sound of cups clanging and off tempo trumpet. Checking the clock on the office wall, I stood up and sighed.

Jamming the drawers back into the registers, I heard Atlas humming to the speaker’s music. He always seemed too happy in the mornings. I watched him lightly dance around behind the bar as he made iced tea.

“Going to the restroom quickly before we open in 10.”

I untied my already somewhat messy apron and placed it behind the counter before walking off. The bathroom was well-lit and clean. Thankfully the closers did their job yesterday without me around. 

My tired reflection stared back at me in the mirror. In a rush, I could only manage to throw a beanie over my blonde hair and had to skip the contacts today. I pulled off my round wire-framed glasses to give them one last clean before inevitably becoming covered in splashes of coffee during my shift. I already couldn’t wait to go home and shower.

“Got any plans this weekend?” Atlas questioned as I placed my apron carefully back around my waist. 

I grabbed the keys to unlock the front door, “Going to that show I told you about last week.”

“Oh yeah! I forgot that was today. Makes sense now why you are working a morning shift.” He ran his fingers through his messy brown hair while looking at his reflection on a spoon. 

I rolled my eyes and settled into my usual spot behind the espresso machine. Atlas didn’t mind handling the register. More people to make conversation with.

A couple groups of customers came in over the next couple of hours. Most of them left with coffee to go, but some of the regular visitors made themselves comfortable at their usual tables. Atlas and I would sometimes switch positions with me at the register, but he would often chuckle at my fake chipper small talk, so I would make him switch back with me. 

“Hey Y/N! Hey Atlas!”

I finished my last cappuccino for the small crowd of customers and peered over my shoulder.

“Morning Lindsay.” I smiled, grabbing a rag to clean the counters, “Can you take over the bar for me so Atlas can take his break?”

She nodded as I stood behind the register. Atlas lazily saluted to me before disappearing to the back room. 

Lindsay started to clean and organize the drink area while I emptied the old pot of dark roast, so I could brew a fresh batch. It was nice to breathe for a second after the morning rush of customers subsided. 

“I’m going to go get some more beans from the back. Did you need anything?” Lindsay skipped over to the door while her ponytail twirled behind her. 

My finger tapped BREW, “No, I don’t think so. Thank you though Lin.”

I turned back to the register to check the time, 10 am. Only two hours left and I can leave for the week. I decided to use my time off this week after the concert because I never seem to have a reason to take vacations throughout the year otherwise. At least this week I might be able to take a trip somewhere after I recover from the show. 

The cafe seemed to quiet down until the sound of the door closed. I looked out at the now pouring down rain I didn’t realize started during my shift. A man shook off his dark umbrella before walking up to the counter. He had his head down, putting the umbrella away in his bag. He was a bit taller than me and dressed in a long black coat. It was open just enough to see his forest green distressed sweater over top of a white shirt. 

“Good morning.” The man mumbled in an unfamiliar voice.

It almost sounded like he spoke in an accent, but you couldn’t put your finger on it since it was so low and mumbled. 

“Good morning. What can I get for you?” I fidgeted my fingers, tracing over the tattoos on my arm. 

“Uh, a dark roast please.”

He was definitely British. 

I looked up from my hand tracing over the ink on my skin, “I actually just started brewing a fresh pot of dark roast. If you grab a seat at a table, I can bring it to you when it’s finished if you’d like?”

My eyes finally met his. Oh god. I know this man.

His brown eyes stared back at me. The sides of his mouth curled up to form a slight smile.

“Yeah, I’ll be here for a bit. I have some work to do, so it probably won’t be my last cup either.” His hand raised to his curly brown hair to push it out of his face. 

I finally broke eye contact to turn towards the pot of brewing coffee, “It’ll probably be about 5 minutes. Would you like anything to eat? It’s on the house.”

The dark-haired man cocked his head to the side raising his eyebrows, “Well I would love a scone.”

“I’ll bring it to you.”

He pulled out his phone and tapped it to the reader to pay for the coffee, “Thanks.” 

I definitely knew who this man was. I didn’t think I’d be seeing him before tonight. 

I grabbed the scone from the bakery case and placed it onto a plate using some tongs while the man found a seat at the table closest to the front window. I watched him as he took off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair. He just started to settle down into his spot when I placed the plate on his table.

He cheekily smiled up at me with a wink, “Thank you, love.”

I flirtily winked back at him before heading to check on the brew. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked behind the counter. 

Atlas emerged from the back and placed his apron back on. I checked the clock and replaced the now empty apron hook with my own apron.

“Let me make myself a drink quickly and deliver this man his dark roast before I go on my break.”

Atlas nodded and began to take a couple of lingering orders at the till. 

As I finished pouring myself a hot tea, the dark roast was finally finished. I smiled back at the man at the corner table and realized his eyes never left me. A cup in each hand, I made my way back to the familiar face. 

“Here’s your dark roast.” I placed the cup gently on the table as I glanced down at his tattoos, “Did you need any cream or sugar?”

He caught me glancing and rolled up his sleeves to show off the art, “No thank you, love. I prefer it as is.”

“Nice meeting you, Matty. Enjoy your coffee.”

The man took a break from sipping his drink to look back in my direction. His eyes met mine once more as I blushed through a smile. 

I turned and made my way over to my usual couch in the opposite corner in front of the cafe. I usually took my breaks out on the floor since the back office didn’t get service at all. I could use the hour to catch up on emails. At least I would try to start catching up on emails until I undoubtingly get distracted from my crush sitting opposite me. Placing my tea on the coffee table to save my spot, I rushed to the back to grab my phone and headphones.

“Do you know that guy or something?” Lindsay followed me into the back.

A giggle escaped my mouth, “Not exactly. Just indirectly, I guess.”

She side-eyed me with a cheeky look before grabbing a refill of vanilla sweetener and heading back through the door. 

I could feel the heat rising to my face. Shoving my headphones in my ears, I decided to check the mirror in the office before returning to my tea. Man, I looked terrible. When I had dreamed of meeting Matty before, I didn’t look like I had been run over by a van. Managing to straighten my hair out as much as possible, I took a deep breath and made my way back out to the cafe. Pulling out my phone, I navigated to my music.

“On break” I mumbled over to the others while still staring down at my phone. 

My feet carried me over to the familiar maroon couch until an unfamiliar sight was sat in my spot. Matty. 

“Sorry,” He smirked, “were you going to sit here?”

Speechless, I picked up my tea, “It’s okay. I can sit somewhere e-”

“I’m joking!” He scooted over to the other end of the couch away from the window, “Come sit with me. I could use the company.”

“Didn’t you have work you wanted to get done?”

“It can wait.” He took another sip of his coffee. 

Without much hesitation, I shuffled my way into my seat realizing it was a lot closer to him than it had seemed. I blushed and picked up my tea, eager to take a sip. 

“So you obviously know who I am. Will you tell me about you?” He nudged my shoulder with his own. 

I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, “My name is Y/N.”

“Lovely name.”

I smiled, “And after work today, I’ll be getting ready to go to your show.”

“Oh, are you not one of those people who wait outside for hours and hours?” He takes a long sip of his drink, still not breaking eye contact. 

I’m the one to break it first as I look down at my hands and chuckle, “unfortunately I could only get stadium seating. GA was impossible to snag.”

“Oh yeah?”

“And expensive as fuck.” I rolled my eyes at him. 

“Okay, well that isn’t exactly our fault.”

I gave him an accusing look and shrugged. 

“Hey! I promise it isn’t our fault!” He laughed while leaning into my side, “Anyway, you shouldn’t accuse someone of lying when they could get you a side-stage view of your favorite band.”

His body leaning into mine felt like fire flowing through me. He was just a normal person like everyone else. I usually didn’t feel nervous when meeting famous people before. I used to meet loads of my favorite artists back when I went to shows more frequently. Maybe because I was just caught off guard in “the wild”?

“You’re telling me that you could get me side-stage tickets to Phoebe Bridgers?”

He matched my smirk, “Hah Hah. Very funny. I meant my band.”

“Bold of you to assume the 1975 is my favorite band.” I sipped my tea. 

“Your tattoo gave it away.” He lightly grabbed my arm in one hand and pointed with the other. 

I had a lot of tattoos on my arm, but in between some of the larger pieces I had a little box with the words “modernity has failed us” in scribbled writing. 

I immediately blushed. Not just from him noticing my 1975 tattoo, but mostly from the grasp he had on my arm. He rubbed his thumb over the scribbled words decorating my skin. 

“You have a lot of other cool ones too, but I think this is my favorite.” He winked. 

“So uh,” I tried not to stumble over my words, “what else do you want to know about me?”

“A lot actually. I have time.”

“Well, I only have 40 minutes left on my break.” I gestured with my free hand to the clock. 

He let go of my arm to rummage through his bag. I really wished he hadn’t let go. It felt cold and lonely without his warm thumb brushing over my skin. 

“That settles it then,” he handed me his phone, “can I have your number?”

My heart dropped. Is he serious right now? Even if I give him my number, it’s not like he is actually going to reach out to me. 

I take his phone and type my number into the field. I saw that he had already added my name at the top. Y/N (cute barista). 

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

STARFIRE (DC COMICS) (CW: Sex Trafficking)

1.) She is frequently put down in the og 80s comics due to being more expressive and open with her emotions, and ever since the og she has frequently been painted as just eyecandy (ignoring her sexual trauma) when her character is so incredibly complex. Special mention goes to red hood and the outlaws (2011) (written by a sexual harasser) for just terrible stand out awful reasons which will be seen in the below photos and her 2015 solo for combining her vapid portrayal there with her cartoon quirkiness to culminate in a trash comic that is just her basically being the born sexy yesterday trope.

2.) 2011 reboot, in RHATO she was turned into a walking fetish by retconning most parts of her character and erasing all personality displayed in the past 30 years of comics. in that iteration she is only interested in sex and is dehumanised and ‘exotic’. she ‘forgot’ all her past relationships because she doesn’t care about them only sex. her only purpose in that book is as a powerhouse and a sex/love interest for one of the male characters who view her as a trophy because she used to date someone he dislikes (in this continuity) let’s also not forget that she was first created just to be a love interest and although she did grow into a hood character at some point, she is treated horribly time and time again by writers because of conflicting ships. she’s written as a ‘vixen’ as opposed to another ‘good girl’ female character who is shipped with the same guy in canon

3.) Her original characterization was fairly decent, however it still had her stuck in relationships with men that weren’t very good for her and had overtones of racism with how she was written. Post that her characterization was slowly chipped away at, some writers with harder sledgehammers than others, culminating in current writing where she’s dismissed as “just a fling” to her original counterpart (Dick Grayson) to prop up a different ship (Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon) and frequently has been used as eye candy in other comics. Simply open the first comic of Red Hood and the Outlaws, which obliterated her personality to make her associate/be subservient to the Red Hood, and you’ll find plenty of panels of her appearing simply for eye candy in the boobs and butt pose for absolutely no reason. This is not the only time she’s been used to cater to the male gaze (I’d argue even in her original context that was part of her appeal) but in this comic she essentially has no personality beyond “i want sex” as her memory of all past events has been erased. She’s essentially just a tool for her male counterparts in the comic to bounce off of, and eye candy to bring more male readers in. She does eventually get more storylines later on, but that doesn’t excuse the bad writing she was put through. Her own solo series also cashes in on her sex appeal, by infantilizing at the same time as drawing her in skimpy outfits + more boobs and butt poses galore to go for the “born sexy yesterday” misogynistic trope.

MARWA (WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (TV SERIES)) (CW: Mind Control, Domestic Abuse)

1.) okok so a major character (nandor) uses a genie wish to bring back the 37 wives he had when he was human (he’s a vampire who was turned in the 1400s but is alive in the modern day) to pick his favorite to live with and settles on marwa. she’s established as someone who’s passionate about science and mathematics, but nandor uses his genie wishes to essentially mold her into his perfect woman like a doll, from changing her hair color to making her not want to go to the night market with him to making her like all the things he likes. this culminates in him LITERALLY TRANSFORMING HER INTO A BRITISH MAN NAMED FREDDIE and that is her send off from the show. the treatment of her is disgusting i’m sorry for ranting i love wwdits but honestly the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth

2.) WHERE TO START my god. Marwa is introduced into the story as one of a crowd of women who are interchangeable to the man summoning them, WHO IS HER CANONICAL HUSBAND but he gives less than half a fuck about her, which is played for laughs. The writers made it completely unclear whether she is a real person or basically a magical simulation with no inner life and did not bother to clarify that at any point. Her plotline consists of her husband using magical wishes to modify various aspects of her body and mind and the writers never explore whether she is aware this is happening or not, much less how she might be experiencing it. It is a terrifying psychological horror story from her perspective but we are not given any insight into her perspective so who cares I guess!! For example, he wishes for her to have a rounder ass and then wishes that all of her preferences align perfectly with his own, so that she’ll stop nagging him about wanting different colored flowers at their wedding than him. There are SEVERAL more examples. Her experience of having all of her desires replaced with her husband’s desires shows up only for jokes, plus one moment that is used to confirm that her husband’s real love interest is one of the other male leads in the show. (I ship the two male characters, I’m not complaining about that, but like COME ON SHE WAS A HUMAN PERSON ONCE AND SHE IS LIVING IN A HORROR MOVIE AND THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH THAT???) THE WORST PART is that when it’s time for her to exit the story because her body and personality have already been essentially replaced by magic and she is now a boring toy, she is LITERALLY PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY transformed into a random British man so that her husband can have that guy as a love interest instead of her. She (he? It? Again it is never NEVER explored whether Marwa is like, alive inside this British man’s mind somehow? Or if she was ever really alive in her body?) moves to England to be in love with the original British man she was based off of, so basically her twin. This is also played for laughs. Her entire personality and body are not even killed off with like a death scene but literally ERASED FROM REALITY AND REPLACED WITH A COPY OF THIS SHITTY WHITE DUDE.

3.) (Context: Nandor is a vampire who has been alive for a while. When he was human he had 37 wives. (Btw some of the wives were men but that’s besides the point.))

She was brought back to life (along with a couple others) via Djinn wish just because Nandor wanted to have a ‘wife’ (some of the ‘wives’ are men). After being deemed the ‘best wife’ by Nandor she is the only one left alive. It is clear the entire fourth season that Nandor doesn’t care for her much and she is only there because Nandor wants to be married to someone. He ignores her wants and interests the whole season. Via another Djinn wish Nandor makes Marwa like everything he likes so she is more agreeable with him. Later on, he meets another character’s boyfriend named Freddie. Nandor basically falls for Freddie immediately and via Djinn wish, wishes Marwa to be exactly Freddie. :| With that wish, Marwa is effectively gone. She now looks and acts like Freddie. The two Freddies meet and after freaking out a little (and some magic) they get along because they like the same exact things. By the end of the season both Freddies are sent off to never be seen again. Also, Nandor has some extra Djinn wishes so he could’ve turned Marwa back but he didn’t.

Additional links: Article about the Freddie thing:

She likes what he likes:

Also This:

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 1.9.2024

Bleh. I was holding off doing this update, hoping I was going to be able to report that I had finished That Stupid Scene that I have been working on since before Christmas. I had so many thoughts in my head while I was cooking dinner and then, when I actually sat down to write, they had departed. Maybe they'll be back tomorrow.

In any case, I did make a huge amount of progress this week. It was hard! I had a lot of writing time, which was nice, except that I spent a lot of it staring out the window or clicking on my other browser tabs, which is always very irritating. However, I did manage to get most of it written, and it hit all the bullet points I needed it to. I basically just have to wrap it up and transition into what happens next. It shouldn't actually be that hard, I'm just tired and I'm not sure I can swing it right now. It's a big scene, too-- I clocked 4,375 words on it this week in addition to the 900 I already had, so it's probably going to be about half the chapter.

I've had a feeling for quite some time that I had not actually budgeted enough space in the outline for the back half of this fanfic. The thing is, though, it is nearly always the case that an extra chapter manages to sneak in somewhere along the way. I decided to just leave the outline as it was, and that way, if an extra chapter appeared, then my pacing problem would sort itself. That...may be happening. I am not entirely sure. I'm in sort of a weird place where I simultaneously feel like I am very close to done and also very, very far away from being done. Hopefully, in the next week or two (that is, when I finish Ch 7), that will sort itself out. Either that, or I'll just keep writing chapters, like Zeno's fanfic. I sincerely hope that doesn't happen. I will die.

Ugh, I want to post. I am wallowing in the pit of it's been so long since I posted, I feel like I have literally stopped existing, and I keep getting dumb urges to "just take a little break and write a short one" (note that I do not actually have any ideas towards "a short one", it's 100% urges only). Anyway, I definitely do not want to do that, because I want to finish this one very, very badly, and it's taking long enough as is. What I should probably do is polish up Chs 5 and 6 and send them to the beta, but that would require coming up with a name for the art museum that I placeholdered a bunch of times in Ch 5. I actually named it in Ch 1 and then decided I didn't like it and needed to rename and I just haven't yet.

Speaking of names, I've also fallen into It-Needs-a-Title Madness, where I start to go Actual Nuts because I can't think of a title for this stupid fanfic. I forgot that in addition to staring out the window, I spent a lot of time looking through the lyrics of songs on my Ductwork playlist and googling for, like, "phrases with injury" in them. I hate this. It's such a waste of time and yet I do this every time. Why can't you pay someone $10 to name your fanfic for you? Can I just call it "Ductwork"? Does it even matter? (it does matter. I regret every terrible title I have ever slapped on a fanfic in a fit of "Fuck It, We Post")

In other news, I drew all seven days last week (the theme was fruits and vegetables). I took yesterday off, but then I drew a can of soup today, which was hard. It's cool. The people in art club are very nice. I am really hoping to draw a Rukia for her birthday. I have never drawn a bankai Rukia, and I'd like to give it a shot. I bet it would be a lot easier if I could resist doing a full body shot, but somehow, I always do a full body shot. We'll see!!

[octagledestroyer]

Good Omens Episode 2

Ok so first of all

...that first post blew up. Or at any rate it’s become more popular than any post I’ve ever made before so THANK YOU to my new followers and everyone who liked or reblogged it! 

I start the episode and the first people I see are Gabriel and Sandalphon- what an encouraging opening.

Also, forgot to mention yesterday but Aziraphale’s bookstore is a LOT bigger than I had imagined and I want to live there. 

Gabriel’s so friggin oblivious he has absolutely no idea what pornography is and I am cacklingggg

that side-eye from the other guy in the shop

“You can’t have a war without War” ah yes very clever. 

oooh I love Crowley’s flat. Wouldn’t want to live there, but it’s cool. 

the red-haired chick is War, isn’t she. Oh, yeah, here come the guns. 

I still don’t get the theme song, but I like the music

Agnes’ letter to the milk-man is so matter of fact

oh no, she cured people of diseases and thinks running is good for you, she must be a horrible satanic person

gonna be honest, this isn’t how I expected Agnes to look. I didn’t have a specific idea, mind you, this just isn’t it

well I wasn’t expecting THAT. I don’t think Mr. Adultery did either

pppft she wrote a prophecy about a phone company. Stocks 101 with Agnes Nutter. 

aaaand of course I haven’t been pronouncing Anathema right either. See kids, this is why you watch the show first. 

oohhhh cool, Agnes’ descendant and Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery’s descendant end up together. Hm. Well, at least I got Newton right. 

Oh Newton, you poor boy. Also Anathema’s hilarious and hot. 

whoa Anathema’s cottage is cute

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” How did they get the plants to tremble like that?

Poor Newton’s so confused and flusteredddd. I don’t like anyone that way but I just want to protect him. 

Now I’m starting to think Mr Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer might not have had that strange of a name for a witchhunter 

“You’ve lost the boy-” “WE’VE lost the boy.” “A-a child has been lost” nice use of the passive there

Did Brian just BITE his ice cream? Who BITES their ice cream?

I love the introductions, although Brian’s shirt and face are sending chills down my spine

Does this happen a lot? Aziraphale makes some grand speech on philosophy and theology and then Crowley just slices through it with logic?

pppft Anathema’s so concerned about their game she’s like “Inquisition? TORTURE?” and its a tire swing

She’s looking so hard for the AntiChrist and he’s right there 

That is a TERRIBLE parking job and as a permit-holder it is making me            c r i n g e 

He’s so obvious trying to get Crowley to get the stain off his coat 

Lol Norman with his tie around his- oh. Wait, no, I read about this, those guns don’t actually kill, right? ...right?

Right. Oh, he’s gonna call him nice, isn’t he? And then we’ll have the classic pinned-to-the-wall scene. 

“This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.” If that isn’t the truth... 

oh my god it would have broken her armmmmm also they act exACTly like an old married couple 

“Open thine eyes and read, foolish principalite, for thy cocoa doth grow cold” how very useful. No sarcasm here, for once. 

Literally I want Aziraphale to look that shocked all of the time it’s fanTAStic

Alright, that’s the end of Episode 2 and my ramblings which people seem (for some reason) to be interested in. The next post should probably be coming out sometime tomorrow. 

[fangbangerghoul]

My week in a set of photos~

The black pictures represent the back of my eyelids cause my ass has been asleep for most of it.

Monday started out normal, I had a presentation that I forgot about coming back from spring break but I nailed it because I've seen enough politicians bullshit in my life to replicate that.

Tuesday I slept in on accident but turned out it was for the best because I got a stomach bug. Which fuck all of that.

Yesterday I managed to keep down, jello, bananas and bread along with my water only diet for those two days.

Today I have managed to eat one solid food and it thankfully cured the ever-present headache. Currently I am still eating jello in between stuff to not test my luck but I have upgraded to some more tea for caffeine reasons.

I have been brainstorming while all this has been happening and watching a lot of The Resident because apparently Medical Dramas are my sick go to (used to be Trailer Park Boys but I cannot tell you how many times I've rewatched all those episodes, so I had to switch it up recently)

Am I still on a writing hiatus? Yes. Will I be off it very soon? Probably not. I really want to give myself a whole month off plus I promised my brother I would crochet a big project for him soon and he just ordered the yarn. I think when I do decide to start publishing material again it will be material, I have a sum of, so I am not stressing myself out about posting. I also just prefer to have things of quality written instead of what I felt I did last time and gave lots of quantity. I don't think my writing was bad, but I also felt like I always made myself feel I had to produce a lot and I am trying to step away from that for my own mental health.

But I do have ideas, many ideas, and I have spoken about these ideas with several people who have helped me focus them. Are they Starfield related? No. But yknow I am not gonna say that ship has sailed yet because I do have a bunch of nonsensical notes and a maybe false hope the story will still be cared about. But my passion in brainstorming exists for other things right now.

Currently I am rushing to finish a paper that was due yesterday to make my English grade not look like I am failing.

Thats about it for the update from me. Y'all have seen my BG3 posts from over my spring break. That's literally all I did. I was gifted an Xbox as a late graduation present (I graduated in the Fall with an Associates of Science in Psychology; I am just crazy and am now pursuing a bachelor's in political science pre-law. I could just stop and call it a day, but I like this whole learning thing too much) So now I will forever have to choose schoolwork or Faerun.

[c2-eh]

Eva! Must have been the wind and versainz post Dutch gp 👀 please!

skkjdak i can't believe how many people are curious about that one, i baited ya'll with the name 😭 but it's answered here!

also minute of silence for my DUMB brain, because post dutch gp is meant to be named POST SPA.... i renamed the doc months after i started writing it and i forgot it was belgium not netherlands 💀 do not ask me how i mixed it up. i dont KNOW. i am stupid i have to rename it again, BUT it's ok, back to the point.

we all remember the shitshow that was quali in spa last year yes? well and we remember these pics yes?

yeah so my mind went places and it's fwb versainz! i don't have a lot written there, because i literally forgot it exists, but c'est la vie, i will give you a tiny snippet

„Carlos! Good job, man. Starting from pole,“ Max exclaims cheerfully and claps Carlos‘ hand in his own, shaking it. His other hand falls on his shoulder. Carlos‘ hand automatically found his place on Max‘ waist, his fingers squeezing around it.

„Yeah,“ Carlos says dryly. He knows Max doesn’t mean it in the wrong way, but it feels like it. True, it is pole, but at what cost. It isn’t a real pole - that one went to Max. Max who is starting in the middle of the field, because of penalties and still had to steal it from him. Plus giving him 6 tenths is just mortifying and Carlos doesn’t even wanna know, where that pace came from.

They had a good setup yesterday, with Carlos dominating FP1, then changed a few things for FP2 that didn’t really work out. And now this.

[jeonqkooks]

2022 end of the year recap

thank you so much for tagging me ash @jimilter! <3 🥰

rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

top 5 works you’re most proud of:

this is how you fall in love

supernova (specifically part 1)

strictly platonic

our beloved summer

fool me once

top 4 current wips:

a case of you (actor!jungkook x actress!reader, strangers to lovers)

isn’t it romantic? (yoongi x reader, coworkers to lovers, magazine columnist au)

take your time (seokjin x reader, established relationship turned strangers to lovers ish???, memory loss au)

narcissist (jungkook x reader, roommates to lovers, college au) or i know it’s delicate (fuckboy!taehyung x reader, strangers ish to lovers, college au). i haven’t decided which one i wanna prioritize more bc i wanna post narcissist but i also desperately want to post a tae fic

top 3 biggest improvements:

(kinda) learned to live by the words: done is better than perfect! i think one of the reasons why i was slow with my writing was because i wanted everything to be as flawless as possible on the first try, and that was really frustrating sometimes bc we all know that's basically impossible, that's what editing is for! so yeah, now when i write, i try to do just that - write, just jot down whatever my brain's coming up with in the moment and not think too much about whether this or that could be better, because i can always come back to polish it!

stopped being so scared of beta reading 😭 even tho i had my writing beta'd for the first time literally yesterday lmao but damn it is a game changer idk why i avoided doing it for so long

i've been actively reminding myself to stop comparing myself to other writers! sometimes i'd sit in front of my laptop, stuck on a wip, and think damn my favorite writers are all killing it out there, they have such a way with words that i'll never be able to compete with. and then i'd have to tell myself that nope, what each person puts into their writing is what makes it special and then i'd calm down a bit lol

top 2 resolutions:

to stop being so damn impatient and wait until a series is fully written to finally start posting lol

branch out into other genres! i'd love to try my hand at fantasy or action (i have a spy!jk wip that's just been sitting there for more than half a year bc idk what to do with it lol)

top 1 favorite line written:

i had to really think about this bc i have the worst memory lol, but i knew it had to be smth from supernova (01) and it is!!! i forgot that i even wrote this but omg i think i must've peaked with this line (it's better with context lol):

"Your star collides with his sun. Mortality rate: 2. Life goes on."

tagging: anyone who wants to do it! bc i think at this point most people have already done it lol

[josiebelladonna]

you know, nevermind the problematic aspects of greendruidess’ behavior and writing for a second. really, nevermind the shameless copying thinly veiled as “inspo”, the slut-shaming, the misandry, the rigid toxic gender roles, the racial insensitivity, the unjust anger, all of that, for just one second.

after all this time, there’s one thing that i simply cannot get over with in her writing, and it’s the exact same drawback that fifty shades of grey suffered from.

think about the one shot that i posted yesterday, day 9 of kinktober, “diamonds and guns”. i don’t even have to look at it to tell you what happened: chuck and alex are driving home from their wedding in santa cruz and alex is a bit raw because he wanted to take a walk on the beach and chuck caught him and stopped him because they were newlyweds (i.e., do things as a couple). those feelings come into play when they get caught up in a car accident of sorts: a car ahead of them caught on fire and they swerved and spun out but didn’t hit anything, and alex realizes that that very easily could’ve been them. they get home to dublin and alex takes a bus to san jose to a little sex shop for a stripper pole, a couple of leather teddies, and some body glitter. he goes home, sets it all up, puts on his teddy and slings his pants down low. chuck walks in and the show gets started.

just out of morbid curiosity, i read her new one shot, “peter, peter, pumpkin eater” which just makes my skin crawl just writing out that title before my walk this morning and…

uh. um. something about… pumpkins? there’s a buggy à la the munsters or something like that? some corn, something about burning a corn maze down or some shit? a photoshoot with pumpkins… i think? idk i’m trying really hard here, you guys.

bro, i remember alex and krista’s conversation about pho in day one better than i remember the dialogue in this one shot here (hell, i remember the pho scene in fever better than i remember this)

i remember 31_4am’s james hetfield one shots as of recently better than this.

shit, i remember louder than love better—and do i ever. i remember chris and andi’s first meeting and also time after time in particular: i liked time after time, too, mainly because it’s a sci-fi story.

yeah, that’s undoubtedly the one thing i cannot get over with in her writing is…

i literally cannot remember anything about a chapter or a one shot that she’s written: in fact, i think i forgot it the very second it was done. i literally could not tell you what happened or at least the gist of it without going back and looking at it. 

(that was the problem i had initially when the whole thing started between me and her was she deleted the anthrax fics and reuploaded them before I had the chance to take screenshots: saw my own writing being read back to me and yet i couldn’t even remember it because of different context). and yes, fifty shades had the exact same problem for me: there were like two things i remember and they were in the movie rather than the book.

that’s… kinda sad, actually. seeing this girl get thousands upon thousands of reads on basically emptiness, such that an outsider like myself couldn’t even tell you what it’s about after the fact. and she uses the excuse that she’s “not an artist or a creative like [me]”, when that is such a cop out—see my whole thing from the other day, “if you’re a human being, creativity is innate to you.” it’s sad, it makes me sad. and it should make sense that i felt bad for even going off on her for a little bit. makes me even more sad when i know that a bunch of people are eating this shit up. it’s like eating empty calories: it doesn’t nourish you because… it’s dishonest. there’s no honesty, there’s no “guts”. it’s played up as raunchy when it doesn’t even titillate a regular old schlub like myself on the outside who enjoys erotica and loves seeing new blood in the fic tags. her female leads are played up as “ballsy” and “tough” when marla, belinda, and zelda from fever could probably whump up on ‘em without even trying. it’s all played up with lots of build-up and no pay-off.

fewer things in life are as sad as a comedy that’s not funny or a horror movie that isn’t scary. well, i’d like to add to that list and say that fewer things in life are as sad as a fanfic that i can’t remember. it’s not her fault, though, it’s one of the hardest things to pull off, like there’s a reason why so many writers themselves—actual pros, people who have been writing for years—will say that writing is hard. hell, i’ll tell you this to day i die. so, really, it’s nobody’s fault.

the thing that is her fault, though? the fact that she’s made herself on a bullshit excuse and refuses to reach across the aisle, a problem that is far too common now, from my facebook feed to the talking heads i see on tv. there’s no realness and no one can agree to disagree if it saved them, and i see it in droves with her. maybe that’s why she’s so appealing to so many people: it’s something they’re all familiar with.

[gurugirl]

I just read the sneak peek for the next part of the outlaw and I'm DEAD. I cannot wait til you post it tomorrow. The first parts are so amazing. It's written so well and it's so emotional and now knowing we'll be getting two more parts I'm on a high right now. Not even joking.

Do you know what time you will post? I'm at the edge of my seat and want to be sat for the moment its out.

Love all your work btw guru. Boyfriend bff is so good. Eating up everything you give us on patreon.

Hiii! Sorry I saw this ask yesterday and got busy and then forgot 😭

I'm so excited for you to see part 3!! I'm literally pulling the doc up now to finish the last part of it off and then I'll proofread/edit and post! Thank you so much for this feedback too! Ugh this makes me so happy! I had no idea the story would turn out to be a 4 parter but it didn't seem right to rush these characters into being in a relationship given everything that's going on 👀

And as for what time I'll post today? I am not sure yet! I still have to finish writing the last part and then clean it up before posting. Part 3 will be around 12-13k words so there will be a lot of editing/proofreading happening as well.

Thank you so much hon!!! I really appreciate your support 💕

xoxo