#i literally was googling all the doctors to see what i’m in for and my mouth fell open at the fifth doctor

[fingertipsmp3]

Whyyyy have I never watched classic Doctor Who before, it’s such a vibe

[ohbo-ohno]

Kinktober Day 12 - Somnophilia

Soap x Reader - 5.5k (on ao3)

summary: Your doctor offers to help you get home after your lasik eye surgery. (Reader POV & Johnny POV)

cw: noncon sex, drugging, kidnapping, briefly mentioned lasik eye surgery (no description past one mention of a scalpel)

note: tysm to ceil for giving me this idea <3 i did a few google searches on lasik eye surgery and tried to mention the actual feelings as little as possible, and also the drug johnny uses is probably literally impossible but its fic so who cares lol

“And… how long did you say I have to wear these?” You ask, tentatively touching the glasses resting over your eyes.

“Och, not long at all. Just until tonight, then you come in for a check-up tomorrow afternoon and I’ll let you know what other care you’ll need.” Dr. MacTavish replies, big hands adjusting the frames and pushing them up your nose.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are they usually painted like this?” You’d hardly been able to see post lasik-surgery - mostly just big swaths of color - but you feel far more vulnerable with the sunglasses on, their blacked out lenses leaving you entirely in the dark except for the blurry light around the rims. 

Your doctor’s laugh is low and comforting, his hand patting you on the shoulder before you hear him moving away. “Of course. Not all optometrists use them, but I’ve found for patients like you they have the best results.”

“Like me?”

“Yes,” another chuckle, and the sounds of what you assume are tools being put away. “Patients who struggle to be good and sit still during their surgery.”

“Ah.” You feel your cheeks go hot in embarrassment. “I really am sorry about that…”

“No need,” he reassures, his hand coming to rest on the back of your neck. You can’t help but jerk a little, the glasses slipping down your nose. “Oops, don’t be losin’ those, bonnie.”

Your cheeks go hot and you have to fight the urge not to reach up and fix them yourself since his hand gets their first. He rights them quickly, then taps the tip of your nose with a finger. “There you go. Let’s keep those where they should be, hm?” He gives the nape of your neck a squeeze, his palm warm and rough, and you do your best to nod without awkwardly dislodging him.

“Now, do you have a ride home?”

You suck your teeth a little at that. You hadn’t known you’d be wearing the dark glasses after - the care plan you and Dr. MacTavish had discussed beforehand had made it seem like you’d be able to ride the bus home, but you’re not comfortable doing that in your blinded state.

“Ah, not right now,” you start, tangling your fingers together in your lap to avoid rubbing at your itchy eyes. “But I can probably call a friend-”

“Nonsense,” Dr. MacTavish dismisses, moving away from you and back to whatever he’d been moving before. “You’re my last patient of the day, how about I give you a ride home?”

“Oh,” you start, startled at his offer. “Oh, that’s… no, that’s alright, Doctor. I’m sure one of my friends could-”

He interrupts you with a tsk, and suddenly there’s a hand at your elbows guiding you up, then just one as he walks you out of the office. “No, that won’t do. We need to get you home and in bed as soon as possible - it’s not good for you to be keeping your eyes open so much after surgery, you know.”

“Oh, really?” You gasp a little, letting him guide you. “Should I be keeping them closed? I don’t want to make anything worse…”

“You’re doing just fine, bonnie, no worries.” The hand on your elbow squeezes as you come to a stop, and you hear the sound of something being written on. “I’ll take good care of you now. C’mon.” What must be a pen is dropped onto what you can only assume is the front counter, and you’re guided forward again. “We’ll have you safe at home in no time.”

Dr. MacTavish’s car is nice - the seats aren’t cracking at all, the air conditioning works to cool the interior quickly, there’s a faint minty smell - but it disconcerts you more than you might’ve expected to be left completely blind in an unfamiliar environment, and with someone you don’t know past a professional relationship.

You give him your address after he buckles you in (you swear his hand brushes your chest, but it doesn’t linger and you don’t want to accuse him of something unfounded just because of a slight touch) and he doesn’t bother to input it into the GPS, tells you he already knows where the neighborhood is.

You haven’t felt so vulnerable in a long time. Even around the edge of the glasses, all you can see are blurs of color, and you feel oddly exposed without the ability to see. Your eyes itch and sting, and it takes conscious effort not to rub the feeling away. 

You lift a hand to rub them without even thinking but before it’s even halfway to your face Dr. MacTavish grabs it, pinning it to your thigh and making a low noise of dissent. “No rubbing now, lass, you know the rules.”

The heat creeping up your neck is entirely involuntary, and you tuck your free hand beneath your leg to resist the urge to squirm. “Right, of course, I’m sorry Dr. MacTavish.”

“Johnny, lass, no need for titles off the clock.”

You try to make a vague noise of understanding but end up sounding a bit like a bird, your hand clammy beneath his. He gives you a squeeze, but doesn’t let go. You’d ask him to move but… well, you don’t want to make things awkward when he’s your only way home at the moment and you figure he’s just helping. So you try to relax your fingers, and zone out to the sound of him humming along to the radio.

“Here we are,” he announces eventually, the car slowing to a stop before he turns into your driveway. “Nice neighborhood, hen. Very safe.”

You try to laugh casually and cringe when it just comes off as awkward - you’re unsure how to naviagte small-talk when all you really want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. “I just moved here recently, but it seems to be a pleasant area. I certainly don’t have any complaints.”

Dr. MacTavish - Johnny - hums in response, turning the car off and getting out to come to your side. He unbuckles you quickly and again there’s a little voice in the back of your head that says his hand lingered by your waist for just a few beats too long. But his fingers don’t venture anywhere appropriate, and you tell yourself that you’re seeing something that isn’t really there.

He keeps a hold of your elbow as he guides you up the stairs and into your building. He pauses and then a moment later you hear a ding, and the clear familiar sound of an elevator opening.

“Oh,” you say, shocked as he tugs you forward. “I had no idea the elevator was fixed - it’s been out of order since I moved in.”

“Really?” You hear press a button.

You stand there in silence for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, before you feel the elevator start to move.

“Um, Dr Ma- Johnny, what floor did you pick?”

There’s a pause before he answers, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“Och, silly me,” Johnny laughs, the sound echoing in the metal walls. “Force of habit, bonnie, I picked my floor in my building. What’s yours?”

You try to laugh it off, but the way his fingers tighten almost imperceptiably against the crook of your elbow has you sounding a bit too stiff. “Four, please.”

“Four,” he hums, and you hear him press another button.

The ride up is a bit awkward, at least from your perspective. Johnny makes no attempt at conversation past the occasional hum along to the music, and you’re a little too on edge to worry about small-talk right now.

Calm down, you insist to yourself. He’s just being polite. Making sure you get home safe. You’ve got to stop seeing the worst in people.

You take a deep breath and force yourself to relax.

There’s a slightly uncomfortable silence when the door opens for the first time, both you and Johnny just waiting for it to close and take you to the proper floor. 

The doors are much quicker to open the third time, and you figure Johnny must live on the third or fifth floor in his own building for you to have gotten to your floor so quickly.

“What’s your apartment number, lass?”

You tell him, and his hold loosens slightly against your arm. There’s a part of you - the part still a little cautious for reasons you can’t quite name - that relaxes when the path he takes is familiar. Only a few steps, apartment on the right side of the hall.

“Let me get my keys,” you mumble, tugging your arm away from his and pulling your keychain out of your pocket. You’d opted not to bring a purse to your surgery, thinking you’d be riding the bus home mostly blind, so you’ve got virtually nothing to dig through before offering your keyring up. 

They’re taken, you hear the familiar jungling soun, and then you’re being guided into your apartment by a firm hand placed at the small of your back. You can’t help but sigh deeply in relief, the familiarity of your home a comfort when you still feel so unachored without your sight.

“Very cute place you’ve got,” Johnny compliments, a smile audible in his voice.

“Thank you.” You hesitate just a moment before going on, unsure of how to phrase your next sentence. “And thank you for all the help getting home, Doctor, I really do appreciate it.”

A.k.a., I’m safe, you can leave.

“Aye, of course!” Johnny says, sounding almost offended like you were implying he wouldn’t usually take his patients home. Another part of you relaxes - he probably does this for every patient he sees at the end of a workday, you’re certainly nothing special. “Now, let’s get you settled nice and snug in bed, and then I’ll be on my merry way.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to-”

“Nonsense!” You’re cut off as he drops a heavy hand onto the nape of your neck, ignoring your slightly dramatic flinch and guiding you forward. “I’ve gotten you this far, would be a shame if I left you now and you took a tumble, hm?”

“I think I can get around my own apartment well enough, “ you try to protest, a little huff of offense escaping without your permission.

“Well, now we won’t have to test that theory.”

He moves quickly and just seconds later you’re sort of shoved onto your bed - almost oddly high off the ground, but you chalk it up to the way you stumble onto it. 

Johnny scoops your feet up, laughs a little at your yelp and lays you out on the bed. You blink up into the dark glasses, a little gobsmacked at the sudden shift and odd amount of manhandling from the doctor.

“Do you have any pain meds, love? We wouldn’t want you wakin’ up in the middle of the night, all uncomfortable and hurt. Something light, like Advil or Tylenol?”

“Um, yes,” you stutter a bit, pushing yourself up onto your elbows and glancing up at where you hear his voice. “In my bathroom, on the counter. But Dr. MacTav-”

A hand presses into the center of your chest, forcing you back to the bed with a little oof before your hear him walk away. “Johnny, lass! What’ll I have to do to get you to call me the proper name, hm?”

His voice is almost jovial, and you hear him muttering to himself a bit through the open door of your bathroom before he returns. You hear water running for a moment, and then his shoes on the carpet of your bedroom as he comes back.

“Here,” he says as he grasps your hand, holding it palm open and dropping two pills into it. “And you had a spare cup in the bathroom, so you won’t have to swallow dry.”

“Thank… thank you, Doc- Johnny, truly, I appreciate it.” 

You swallow dryly, suddenly thankful for the glass of water. The pills are small in your palm, familiar but there’s something in the back of your head screaming at you. You run your fingers over them absentmindidly, the stinging itch in your eyes growing.

Johnny scoops an arm around your shoulders, helping you sit up a bit and guiding the glass to your lips. “Here you are, lass, quick sip.”

You listen, then pop the pills into your mouth and swallow them with the water.

“Good girl,” Johnny hums, his voice vibrating through your side. His hand squeezes the shoulder in his grasp, and you shudder out a breath at the odd… intimacy? That doesn’t quite feel like the right word, but affection feels too distant for how close he holds himself.

You’re guided back down, head resting on a somewhat-flat pillow, and Johnny moves down to the end of the bed to take off your shoes.

Now that you’re resting in bed, it hits you how exhausted you are. The past few days of worrying over your procedure, the actual stress of the surgery itself, and the odd tension you’ve carried since all leave you feeling drained entirely once your head hits the pillow.

“We’ll get these shoes off so you’re nice and comfortable,” you hear Johnny say, his voice a little muffled now that you’re nearly half-asleep already. “Tired, lass?”

You only hum a bit, curling onto your side once both of your shoes are off, the sound of them thudding on the carpet almost silent. Your nose scrunches a bit as you get your first scent of the pillow. It doesn’t quite smell right, the lingering air of shampoo is definitely not one you’re familiar with.

There’s a shift of weight against your back, then a hand stroking over your head.

“Just sleep, bonnie. I’ll watch out for you.”

There’s a part of you, still awake enough, that thinks that isn’t right. But the more major part of you is already asleep. 

———————————————————————

Johnny can’t help but smile as he watches you sleep. The little trail of drool dripping from your lips onto his pillow, the soft sounds of your breathing, the twitches to your expression as you dream.

You’re truly adorable. He’d known it as soon as you came for a consultation about the surgery, and every moment spent after has only cemented that in his head. Even the way you tensed and squirmed in his chair while he was working was cute, your desperation to be good and listen overpowering your fear of what he was doing.

He reflects on the day as he gets undressed, folding his clothes on your dresser. You’d been very nervous, and even his most soothing tone and friendly conversation topics hadn’t done much to help. It’s natural - nobody’s ever at ease with a scalpel held over their eye - but he’d still felt a little dissapointed that his presense wasn’t of much help calming you down.

But it’s alright. You’ll learn very soon that you can trust him.

It was easier than he’d expected to get you back to his home. You’re far too trusting, apparently - another reason it’s for the best if he keeps an eye on you - and past some clear tension in your stance, you hadn’t fought him once or even tried to make sure he had taken you to the right place.

Johnny’s certainly not going to complain, though. His plan had been half-baked at best. Honestly if you’d even put up a slight bit of resistance, he probably would have taken you back home - your home - and gone back to the drawing board.

He can’t help but smile a bit. The fact that you hadn’t fought at all is just more proof that this was meant to be.

He climbs over your body, his naked skin brushing against your clothes. You don’t shift at all as he rolls you to your back, your face still relaxed in sleep. His smile grows.

“Pretty girl,” he coos, brushing a hand over your face. “Can you hear me?”

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

It’s easy to push your shirt up your stomach. He doesn’t take it off, not quite willing to risk that much movement while the drugs could still be settling in.

God, the way you’d just taken his pills with no hesitation, with just complete and total trust in him to do right by you. It makes his cock stifen against your stomach, the way you’d just listened and trusted him.

He moans as he finally pushes your shirt up to your collarbones, the sight of your tits bringing him to full hardness almost immediately. You’d dressed up for him, soft white lace wrapped around your beautiful chest. 

He ducks down to suck a peak into his mouth, tonguing at a nipple through the fabric. He groans a bit at the taste of your skin, muted as it is, and quickly tugs down the cup of the bra to get a real bite of you.

He could lay there at your tits for hours, he just knows it. He kisses his way across your chest, gives your other nipple some love and thumbing at the first with a free hand. He forces his movements to stay soft and slow, resists the urge to bite and leave a ring of teeth marks around your areola.

“Taste so good, baby,” he whispers as he pushes himself up, admiring the shiny spit across your skin. He rubs it in a little, spreading himself across any place his lips hadn’t touched. “Gonna let me get a taste of your pussy too?”

Obviously you don’t respond. Still, Johnny smiles down at you and moves to pet your stomach.

“Yeah, I know you will. Just wanna be a good girl for me, hm?”

Of course you do, he already knows you’ll be good to him - be good for him. 

It’s easy to wrap his hands around your waist and flip you gently to your stomach. He guides your head to the side and pulls your hair away to make sure he can get a good view of your pretty face, leans down to give you a soft kiss on the cheek and breathes in the scent of your bodywash and shampoo. 

Your pants are easy enough to get off, and he forces himself to tug them all the way off both legs before even looking at your sweet little ass. He’d been staring at any chance he could all day, had kept his eyes glued to your backside for the entire elevator ride up to his apartment when he was sure you couldn’t see his leering. 

Now he can’t help but groan aloud when he kneels over your thighs, the sight of you vulnerable and limp beneath him almost too much to handle.

“C’mon, spread your knees for me, lass,” he mutters, slowly moving your legs to the side and moving between them. He’s careful as he props you up onto your knees, folding them beneath you and making sure to balance you with one hand on your hip so you don’t fall to the side.

He’s nearly drooling as he gets his first sight of your core - lips just slightly spread, pretty pink pussy peeking out at him. It’s almost too much, he has to give himself a few quick jerks just to lessen the ache building in his cock.

“Look at you,” he says on a sigh, dipping his head low enough to breathe in your scent. He hikes your hips up a little higher to keep you at the right angle, quickly shushes your little noise of discontent at the shift.

“It’s alright, you’re ok,” he reassures, petting over your hip a few times to calm your unconscious mind. “Just wanna make you feel good, pretty thing. You got nothin’ to worry about.”

He licks you, from clit to ass, to help you calm down a bit more. It works - your body goes a little more limp in his hold, your back arching more easily into the position he wants. He licks you several more times, groaning as he tries to cover every inch of your cunt, tasting every piece of skin he can. He lays his tongue flat at first, then uses the tip to make sure he doesn’t miss a spot.

“So good,” he moans, burying his face into your center and just breathing there for a moment. There’s a little bit of slick beginning to drip from your hole, but not much. He licks it up anyway, savoring the taste and promising to feast later. 

He stays glued to your clit for a bit, taking the little bud between his lips and running the tip of his tongue over it again and again until he finds the exact spot that makes your thighs twitch, the pattern that has you whining every other breath.

Johnny moves back up, laps at the sweet nectar dripping steadily from you now. Every little flick of his tongue arouses you more, and no matter how long he keeps his mouth on you he knows he’d never run out of your taste.

It’s with only a bit of reluctance that he pulls away. He spreads both of your cheeks with his palms, admiring your two tight little holes and the sheen covering your most sensitive spots. He’d like to give your ass a few smacks, paint it red and watch you squirm, but he’s not sure how much sensation he can give you without pulling you from the drugs’ hold.

Which is also why he tucks a few fingers into your cunt, just to stretch you out. He’d like to fuck into you without any prep at all, watch your pretty face scrunch up as you’re spread on the thickest cock you’d ever taken (and he knows he’s the biggest you’ve had). Maybe you would even cry a little, blink teary eyes up at him and ask him to slow down.

He groans at the image, scissoring his fingers inside of you to prepare you as quickly as he can. 

It’s easy to ease himself forward and line his cockhead up with your little hole. He knows another finger would’ve been a kindness, but with how his cock throbs between his legs he’s not sure he’ll make it very long once he’s finally inside of you. 

So he taps the tip against your leaking hole, snorts quietly when the thought pops into his head that he’s almost knocking on a door, then slowly lets himself sink inside of your heat. He’s stares transfixed at the way your body opens for him so easily, a smooth coming together that he wishes he never had to look away from.

He keeps a secure grip on your hips, letting gravity do most of the work as his hips push forward steadily. His head rolls back on his neck, mouth hanging open and grunts spilling from his lips as your tight heat envelops him further and further.

He pauses halfway in to take a breather, just so he doesn’t come before his balls even meet your clit. Your body’s grip on him is unlike anything he’s ever felt, and he knos he made the right choice in bringing you home with him.

It’s hard, but Johnny manages to control himself and keep from fucking you too roughly. His thrusts are long and slow if a little extra harsh, and he stares down at your scrunched up little face and imagines all the filthy ways he’ll have you in the coming weeks.

You shift on your knees when he hits a particularly nice spot, little whines pouring from your throat on exhales. His thrusts nearly punch the air from your body, and he finds himself breathing in sync with you as he loses himself more and more to the pleasure.

He slips a hand from your waist to your clit as he gets closer. It would be awfully selfish of him to leave you needy after getting himself off, and he’s not about to deny himself the tight clench of your body as he brings you to climax.

It takes a little bit of trial and error to figure out what feels good for you - he can’t quite discern the difference between a nose scrunch of frustration and one of pleasure - but the steady pumps of his hips and the constant motions against your clit quickly bring you to the edge.

Your cunt tightens deliciously around him as you finally come, but the true beauty is in the way you go absolutely boneless beneath him. He has to firm up his grip on your waist just to keep you from sinking flat on the bed, huffing a laugh as he thrusts just a bit faster, just enough to get himself there too.

He lets his head fall beside yours as the two of you ride out your climaxes together, staring wide-eyed at the way your face relaxes into the pleasure. He leans forward enough to mesh your lips together, messily forcing your mouth open and licking at your tongue.

It’s not the best kiss - he has to do all the work, and he ends up soaking both of your chins in spit - but he relishes in it anyway. Your first kiss together is something he knows he’ll want to remember for years to come.

He hardly notices as he slips from your body, tingles shooting through every nerve leaving him mostly unaware of his body’s functions. He hardly has the energy to make sure he doesn’t crush you beneath him, instead laying beside you and tucking you into his chest.

“Thank you, bonnie,” he whispers into your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “That was fantastic. Can’t wait to do it again, maybe you’ll do a bit more next time, yeah?” He laughs a little at his own joke, snuggling you close to him and letting his eyes shut slowly.

———————————————————————

You’re not sure how long it’s been when you wake up next, but you can tell immediately that something isn’t right. 

First of all, you’re half naked. And you can tell you’re half naked because your legs are being cradled by someone else’s naked legs. And you know for a fact that you didn’t bring anyone home with you.

Except… it occurs to you slowly as you finally blink stinging eyes open, except you did. Dr. MacTavish brought you home.

And you let him into your apartment. You just handed your keys over to a man you hardly knew, let him guide you right to bed without any sort of fight.

Your head pounds with a vengeance, right behind your already hurting eyes.

You let him give you pills, too. You remember that, though it’s the last thing you remember. He asked where your pain meds were and you didn’t even bother to check that he’d given you what you expected. You just swallowed them with water, like this was a man you could trust.

The slight soreness between your thighs tells you that you couldn’t.

The tears that begin to gather in your eyes hurt, which makes you want to cry even more. You can’t hold back a sniffle, then a hiccup, then what sounds more like sobs than anything else.

You bring your hands up to cover your mouth, briefly recoil and the weight over your torso.

You can’t bring yourself to look, but you know who’s in bed with you.

Johnny wakes up just minutes later, shifting and making a soft sound of confusion. It must not take him long to put the pieces together because it only takes him a few seconds to start cooing, his rough palm cupping your face over your own hands.

“Lass?” He hums, and from your peripheral you see his brows furrow. It’s only a slight comfort that you even can see. “What’s wrong?”

That almost gets a laugh out of you. You nearly choke on the sound, spit catching in your throat. “What’s- what’s wrong?”

He sighs, like he already knows. Of course he knows. He has to know.

“Don’t be upset.” He leans a little closer, and to your horror you feel him press his lips against your forehead. “You can be awake next time, yeah? Then you won’t feel so left out.”

“Left out,” you echo, a strain of horror making its way into your voice.

“But only if you can be good,” he clarifies. “No fighting me now. Just keep being good for me and you can stay awake, alright?”

“Good…” You feel like a robot, but the combination of your headache and the absurdity of your situation leaves you unable to process what’s happening.

It processes much faster when you feel one of his hands slide up the shirt you’re - by some miracle - still wearing. It’s instinctual to jerk up the bed and away when he goes straight for one of your breasts.

“Get- get off me!” Your voice is nearly a shriek, the pitch sending a shock of pain up your skull.

You don’t make it very far in your tiny escape attempt, Johnny quickly hefting himself above you and pinning you down with his weight.

“Now, lass,” he scolds, face set in a frown that you can’t tell is sarcastic or serious. “What did I just say?”

You can’t make yourself speak, fingers trembling beside your head as you stare up at him with wide eyes.

“C’mon,” he goads, dropping his weight a little lower. “Just gotta do one thing for me to stay awake, tell me what it was.”

“I’m not-” you gasp a big breath, blinking up at the man above you. “I’m not fucking calming down! Get off of me, you freak, how dare you-”

“Alright!” He nearly shouts, drowning you out. “That’s enough of that. Back to sleep with you, I think. We’ll see if you can handle participating next time.”

He’s leaned to the side before you can really register what he’s said, scooping two little white pills into his palm and coming back over you.

“Open wide,” he taunts, lips curled into a small smirk as he holds his closed fist above your mouth.

Every instinct in you says to scream and shout, to fight back. But he’s got you pinned with your arms stuck between the two of you, unable to lift your hands and cover your mouth, so you clamp your lips as tightly shut as you can to keep him out.

Johnny only sighs, like you’re making his drugging terribly inconvenient. You squeeze your eyes shut to block out his face, praying that you’ll open them and this will all just be a terrible nightmare.

“Really, lass?” He complains, his free hand reaching up to pinch your nose. Without anything to hold him up, you’re nearly crushed beneath his body weight. “Very mature. I can pinch far longer than you can hold your breath, y’know. You’re making this difficult for no good reason.”

Your eyes fly open at that, glaring up at him with what you hope is a scathing look.

He only laughs.

“Very cute,” he hums, rubbing his nose against your cheek. Your chest burns from the lack of air. “I think you’ll be just perfect to keep around the house. You’ll brighten this place in all the right ways, won’t you?”

Your eyes well with tears as black stars begin to dance across your vision. Completely against your own will, your lips part and you suck in a deep breath.

Johnny doesn’t waste any time - you nearly choke on the pills as they fly down your throat with the air you desperately inhale. You nearly choke, hacking with tears streaming from your eyes, but Johnny just holds a hand over your mouth and brings you both up enough to harshly pat your back.

“There you go, you’re ok,” he mumbles in your ear, rubbing the place he’d slapped as your chest heaves with desperate breaths. The pills leave an uncomfortable lump in your throat, and you reach up to rub at it as if that will make it any better.

He stays like that, holding you close, for several long heartbeats.

“Good girl,” he hums, lips pressing to your temple and the sound rumbling through the contact. “I hope you won’t make me do that next time, I’d much rather you be awake for this next part.”

He lays you back slowly, and you distantly wonder what on Earth he’s given you to knock you out so quickly. Already your eyes feel heavier and you’ve hardly swallowed. You try to keep your eyes open as long as possible, which leaves you staring up at Johnny as he hovers above you.

“It’s not the worst thing, though,” he whispers, hand cupping your cheek and thumb passing your undereye. “I don’t mind having you like this, soft and sweet for me.”

Your eyes finally flutter shut just as you feel your legs being nudged apart.

[serenewrote]

Purely Platonic ~ Harry Collett x poc! non-binary! reader

THIS MANNNNN! If only we were seahorses…

Synopsis: You and Harry are co-stars in an upcoming film called ‘Swords & Spirits’. Due to your close nature, everyone wants to know if there’s romance in the air. (I gave the characters their own names because it would hard for me to keep track otherwise)

Rating: M

Warning(s): swearing, one sexual remark

Y/n L/n and Harry Collett answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions | WIRED

“Hi, I’m Harry Collett.”

“I’m Y/n L/n."

"And this is the WIRED Autocomplete Interview!"

The staff handed Harry a board that was done up to look like google.

"Ok! Here we go. Is Y/n L/n married?"

You giggle at the question, "Damn. I knew that was gonna be a question."

Harry looked at you and then down at the board, confused. "Why is that a question?"

"I'm about to answer that. Ok, I am not married. I just wear a ring on my ring finger because I am very much a rebel. One time during a get together with my family when I was 16, I believe, my aunt had told me to switch my ring onto my middle finger because I wasn't married. I had thought about it a bit after she said that and I realized that I didn't give a fuck about marriage and I still don't. So, that's why people think I'm married and why I wear a ring on my ring finger."

Harry laughs and grabs your hand to show the camera, "It's a beautiful ring."

"Yep. Straight from the Game Of Thrones x Pandora collection, courtesy of this one right here."

You ruffle his hair.

"Next question. Is Y/n L/n in Bridgerton? Ooh, are you?"

"I.... am not. I'm not in Bridgerton, but I am a big fan of the show. Next question, please."

"Is Y/n L/n and Harry Collett in Swords & Spirits?"

"Yes we are. I play Z Andreas."

"And I play Icarus Kennedy."

"Are Y/n L/n and Harry Collett... dating?"

"Dating someone or just dating?"

"Just dating."

"No. We are not dating. Just friends. I don't believe I can go past that with him."

"Someone needs to snatch you up."

"I don't wanna be snatched up. I wanna be d*cked down."

You wink at Harry, and then at the camera.

"When did Y/n L/n start acting?"

"Earlier this year." You start laughing, "Literally just this yearrrr!"

"In what?"

"Doctor Who."

"Oh yeah. I think that's the only reason I watch now."

"Awww, Harry! So sweet. Sweet boy."

"Next question! Who did Y/n L/n play in Doctor Who?"

"I played and still play Jenny Smith aka the Doctor's daughter. Georgia Tennant, I fucking love you. Tell your son to stop calling me during interviews."

You pull your phone out of your pocket to show that Ty was calling you.

"Decline."

"That's all of them. Do I just put it down or...?"

"I've seen these videos. They throw it."

Harry throws the board on the ground.

"Next one please."

The staff hands you the board this time.

"Is Harry Collett. Is Harry Collett... Jacaerys Velaryon?"

"Yes. I play Jacaerys Velaryon in House of the Dragon. Watch it on HBO Max."

"The rightful heir. The future king. Handsome boy."

"Thank you. Thank you for your gracious praise."

"Is Harry Collett. Is Harry Collett... engaged to Y/n L/n? Oh my god!"

"No. Unfortunately, I am not engaged to the amazing Y/n L/n. Although, they are a catch. Why are people searching for this?"

"You know what, I think it's because I visited you a lot during filming. I remember I saw this tweet, I think, on my way to Spain. You were filming for House of the Dragon. I saw it and it said "Harry is such a d-tier fiancé cause Y/n wears their ring all the time in Doctor Who and we never see Harry's ring." I laughed for like 2 minutes straight."

"Yeah, you sent me that. I read the, like, the replies to it and one was like umm, "maybe because they aren't [redacted] married, you delusional [redacted]. Stop, you do this all the [redacted] time." I laughed, admittedly."

"Damnnn."

"Right? Overall, Y/n L/n is an amazing person. They are funny, smart, talented, all of the above but, what we have is purely platonic."

"Yes, purely platonic."

fin.

love this man from ♾️ to ♾️!!!!!

[lains-reality]

hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

[ovaruling]

@non-suspiciousname @junipercastor i’m not a dietician or doctor disclaimer disclaimer if you have preexisting conditions this may not be for you disclaimer disclaimer i cannot account for every human experience disclaimer disclaimer BUT the easiest way to do this is to first learn what “high fiber foods” means.

and before i begin, here’s how much fiber we more or less need via a helpful Harvard health article.

so, to recap: for women—the ones who matter to me—that’s 25g for adult women who are 50 and under. women 50 and over, that’s 21g.

and i included the extra paragraph about Metamucil etc bc that is important to note. a lot of people do think they’re getting quality daily fiber in these powders.

here’s a helpful article abt the differences between soluble and insoluble fiber. both are important in their own ways!

and just so we’re clear on the benefits of upping your fiber intake:

so!

i recommend a quick google to see the fiber content per serving of a variety of foods that i don’t have time condense here. but, like, beans are a really inexpensive way to do this (add some rice to it and you have a complete muscle-lovin’ protein btw! all the essential amino acids are covered when you combine rice and beans 🫶). beans and legumes are incredibly rich in fiber, and they’re budget-friendly, shelf-stable, and easy to make and easy to incorporate into infinite delicious possible dishes.

but your fiber can be gotten from so many different sources! (my data here is approximate from individual checking. pls allow 1-2g of fiber for margin of error in case i mistype!)

for fruits: 1 cup of blackberries OR raspberries has 8g of fiber!!!!! 1 medium apple has around 4-5g of fiber. an average banana or a serving of strawberries have 3g of fiber. an average avocado has 10g of fiber. and so forth

for grains: steel-cut oats have 5g of fiber per 1/4 cup uncooked (oats are generally rich in fiber anyway, but steel cut in particular). a slice of whole grain bread should have around 3g fiber. brown rice contains 3.5g fiber for every cooked cup. one cup of cooked quinoa (which is also a complete protein!) contains 5g of fiber. bran is almost 15g per one cup serving.

if you’ve got access to chia seeds, a 1oz serving provides 10g fiber. here’s a yummy super easy recipe for peanut butter chia pudding!!!

nuts and seeds provide a lot of fiber too. 1oz of walnuts contains nearly 2g fiber! 1oz of almonds contains 3.5g fiber. peanuts contain 2.5g fiber for 1oz. sunflower seeds are 12g per 1 cup serving (though that’s a lot of them to eat—1/4 a cup would be closer to 3g)

and my fave prunes are 12g per one cup serving. again, that’s a lot of them to eat. 1/4 of that would be 3g.

beans/legumes are king for fiber. 1 cup of cooked black beans contains 15g of fiber. 1 cup of navy beans contains around 19g of fiber. 1 cup of kidney beans contains 11g of fiber.

split peas are i think around 8g per cup when cooked? cooked broccoli is around 5g. corn is around 4g.

i could go on but i’m literally hooked up to an IV for medication rn so i’m one-handed lol i apologize for how cramped this is

but here’s a great list from the Mayo Clinic of high fiber foods and another list of 40 foods from a women’s health mag and also another from healthline, which also has a handy chart for fiber requirements for more specific age groups based on sex

and yes, there are also high-fiber cereals, but beware of the much-touted and rightly-feared ingredient of psyllium husk. it’s more or less used as a laxative and can be outright dangerous for your digestive system and is very painful if not consumed in militant moderation. ask me how i know lol. please please be careful of psyllium husk. like, for real. just stay away from it altogether imo.

sorry this is a lot of discombobulated info, but again i’m one handed at the moment. but hopefully that helps a bit! fiber is linked to longevity and good colon health and that’s what i want for women forever

EDIT: go slow with this! if you’re not used to the recommended daily intake, you will need to gradually work up to this so as not to upset your gastrointestinal system. you may otherwise find yourself in discomfort. GO SLOW. add fiber-rich foods in small portions over time to allow your body to adjust. it is well worth the patience—but don’t overload your system by eating a ton of prunes and thinking you’re doing yourself any good that way. introduce gently and in moderation until you feel comfortable with how it makes your digestion feel!

[luinhealthcare]

Hello lovely Lofty❤️

What would you say is the pros and cons of EMS work?? Or like, things you would say to someone looking to be an EMT?

I have a full time job I don't plan on leaving, but tbh learning about what you do and reading your stories has kind of put it on my heart and I was curious if volunteer EMT jobs are a thing. Like, getting all the training done and then volunteering when I can?

Idk, I was just curious if you had anything to say regarding this😅

I could probably google some of this info but if if you feel like answering it would be appreciated! I value your opinion❤️

Ok, give me just a sec—*SQUEALS excitedly into pillow*

Hello Anon! :D That’s so exciting to hear!! I’m glad you’d rather just do it volunteer, as career EMS pays very little (my nursing job is what keeps a roof over my head, not my EMS one lol), but nearly every agency in my area has volunteers so I imagine it’s the same for your area!

So general pros and cons for EMS:

Pros

Tight knit work crew - These people see some bad things together, and trauma bonding is a thing, so they tend to be pretty close and have a lot of fun together. A note of care, we all have dark senses of humor. It’s a natural coping mechanism for people, and it can make life really funny too. But generally, working with EMS providers is quite fun! There will probably also be things like banquets, cookouts, and other fun bonding activities!

Boo boo bus - Driving is one of my least favorite parts of the job, but it is very fun to drive the truck around with lights and sirens and have the power to stop traffic and go through a red light lol. Super dangerous, but very fun

Knowledge - You learn so much in EMS! Medicine and our understanding of diseases and injuries is constantly changing, so you’ll always learn something new if you keep up with your training. Speaking of which, your agency will provide training opportunities to help you grow!

Patient care - You’ll find that the majority of your calls aren’t actually emergencies, but when you can actually take care of someone who needs you, you’re gonna ride that adrenaline high for ages. I still remember calls from years ago where I actually made a difference in someone’s life, and it’s a thrilling feeling.

Shift style - We work in 12-24 hour blocks, which means you knock out your work week in 2-3 days. As a volunteer your hour requirement would be much less than 36, but you could knock out a 24 hour monthly requirement in a single day if you wanted. Also, depending on a few factors (day vs night shift, busyness of your run area), you could literally just be spending your time chilling between calls. Sometimes I bring video games to work and play the switch because we have so much downtime. At night we get paid to just sleep if nobody’s calling 911.

Cons

Management/staffing - Like most jobs, somehow we’re all cursed with idiots in charge. Obviously this is variable, but a general trend in EMS is to overwork its people and toss them out to sea before they sometimes feel ready. And also like most jobs, we’re perpetually short staffed and everyone gets stretched thin to make up for it. Luckily for you, this shouldn’t be as big a problem because volunteers are usually treated very well!

Patient care - It’s a pro but it’s a con too. 85% of your calls are going to be for things that people should have never called 911 for. Your big pretty Boo Boo Bus is mostly going to be an Uber. And it will get frustrating, and you will have frequent flyers, and some people are not kind at all. They’ll call for your help and then get pissed off at you for trying to help. Anyone who’s worked customer service can relate, I’m sure. You get trained to handle life and death emergencies and then instead you’re picking someone up for a cough they’ve had for three days and you’re wondering when you became their mother/father and have to take the baby to the doctor when they haven’t tried anything to take care of themselves at home or see a less urgent health facility. It will burn you out if you’re not careful.

TMI - Speaking of patient care, get ready to see people at their absolute lowest. Hoarder houses, maggots, abusive households, all that jazz. Another reason for trauma bonding with your coworkers! 👍🏻 (This won’t be the majority of your calls, but you’ll see them)

Physical strain - If you don’t take care of your body, this job will hurt you. I’ve thrown my back three times working EMS; there were times where I was hobbling around like an 83-year-old and I was 22. You’ll be lifting patients of every weight, you’re gonna be contorted in weird positions trying to splint someone, CPR is a cardio exercise in itself (lol), you will probably be sore after some calls like you just went to the gym. Also, we don’t take meal breaks - you eat when you can, and you will become a speed eater very quickly in this line of work.

Mental strain - You’re gonna learn a lot about yourself and others in this work. How do you cope with stress? You will watch people die, you will see suicides and shootings and stabbings, you will watch family hurt each other and grieve over lost loved ones. You will be on edge for the majority of your shift as you wait for the tones to drop, you will be stressed trying to find an address or navigate the road and make sure nobody gets into a wreck with you. Military and first responders are so alike because the stress level and distribution is quite similar - downtime with boredom gets interspersed with spikes of huge adrenaline rushes. Have good coping skills, have a strong support system, take care of yourself. 95% of the people I know on duty are in therapy to stay sane.

Overall, I adore EMS. If I could survive off EMS pay I’d work it full time and do nursing as a side gig for funsies lol. The majority of the work is fairly mundane, but when you get to make a difference boy do you get to make a difference. And you’ll have so many funny stories to share. And the people are awesome.

Hope this helps! :D

[littlethingwithfeathers]

What to do if you get caught by the Adderall shortage:

So, it’s not getting picked up by the news much (at least not that I’ve seen... NPR, BBC, AP), but there’s a pretty serious Adderall shortage happening right now. It’s been building for awhile helped along by the usual suspects (labor shortages, limited manufacturing facilities, shutdowns due to illness... blah blah) and some not so usual ones (More people getting diagnosed with ADHD... when you take away someone’s coping mechanism, which for some people it’s their in-person work environment and social activities, people start to have more issues!). And it looks like this could last until the beginning of 2023... so... what to do?

Please note, I’m not a doctor or medical professional of any kind. I just had to deal with this, and it’s worrying and a little troublesome to manage, so I thought I’d pass on some advice from my experience. It might not be one size fits all but it might help someone to know who to talk to and what to ask.

Also, if you’re going to use this as a moment to spout some drivel about “Maybe we don’t neeeeed all these meds, you guysssss!” please kindly fuck entirely, completely, and all the way off into the void. Same goes for people who are looking at this as an excuse to whine about “addicts” or drug related crime. Read the room. This post is not your soapbox. 

SO! You’ve gotten a call from your pharmacy that they can’t fill your Adderall prescription because your scrip is on backorder. Wat do??? Step one: Don’t panic. It is one pharmacy out of one version of a drug. You’ve got options, though it might take some legwork. If your prescription is at a chain like CVS, Target, Walmart, etc see if the pharmacy tech will call around to other stores in the area and ask about their stocks. Step two: 

Call your prescribing doctor, inform them of the situation, and ask for a paper prescription. Go pick up the prescription. Ask them for their advice and for information on which pharmacy to call (they might know of a pharmacy with the med in stock).

Step three: 

Start phoning pharmacies. Begin with the big chains. Places like CVS, Walgreens, Target, Walmart, and major grocery stores... places with multiple locations in town. Start here because they might be able to check with other stores in their chain to find out who has your prescription in stock, which will save you a phone call or three potentially. They also have more integrated supply networks and will have a better handle on their inventory. Fan out from your location with the help of Google. If you live in a big city, don’t be afraid to start checking in the ‘burbs or outlying towns. Also, if the pharmacy tech doesn’t seem like they’re in a rush, ask them if they’ve got other options... the generic form, other measurements, other types (long acting, short acting, etc). That will potentially save you this rigmarole a second time if you come up dry.

Step four:

If you call every pharmacy and have no luck, call your prescribing doctor back. Tell them you’ve phoned literally everyone and no one can fill your prescription and ask if there is a way you can change it by a few milligrams or switch to generic for this month? Could you get a shorter prescription (fewer pills, thus easier to fill)? Could you do short acting instead of long acting or vice versa for a few weeks until backorders get filled? In short, see if you can get an alternative to tide you over. Go get that paper prescription, and then start over (this is why asking some of those questions to the pharmacy techs could pay off).

Concluding advice:

-You do not have to do this by yourself. You don’t even actually have to do this yourself. Someone can do 90% of this for you. Other than the call to your physician for the script, a parent, spouse, friend, sibling or otherwise can help with this. They will just need the paper prescription, your insurance card, your name and date of birth, and your prescribing physician’s name and place of business. Get someone to help you if you can.

-If you’re not getting bit by the shortage, take this as a sign to stockpile your meds a bit. And this kinda goes for everyone, not just the ADHD/Adderall people. Shortages and supply issues are not going to go away any time soon. Next it might be blood pressure meds, or a particular steroid... who knows. Talk to your doctor about how to effectively plan for this with the meds you’re taking. Future you will thank you.

[dietcokeprincessss]

everything about me is just so big, like my nose is big my jaw is so wide and big and cheekbones are huge but my face isn’t even really square it’s like an hourglass shape bc my cheekbone go way out and then it goes in bc my face is sunken in and the my jaw get super fucking wide and big and face is so fatty and jiggly and puffy all the time and my upper arms retain all the fat and my legs do too and my hair is big as fuck it’s so thick it’s so fucking annoying my hair has to be down to my ass for it to look good but it takes forever to grow out and i keep just having to cut it shorter bc it get unhealthy and it’s to my chin rn it’s literally a bob but my hair is so big i look like i have a really huge bowl cut and then everytime i ask anyone to THIN it out so it’s not as fucking BIG they just give me more volume after barely even thinning it out LIKE OMFG i’m so done why do i look like no one that’s ever existed before my face shape doesn’t show up on google i don’t have a celebrity look a like my face looks deformed in photos and no matter how much i starve myself i’m still fat and everyone tries to gaslight me like my mom is always like “ur DEATHLY skinny ugh u make me SICK” and then i’ll literally be like 105 lbs like wtf are u even talking about shut up ur so fucking annoying like have u not seen actual skinny people before and then i go to the doctors and they are questioning me bc they think im anorexic when im literally barely underweight and also im 5,3 so i’m not like super tall to where my weight is concerning it’s literally normal to be in the 90s-100s when ur 5,3 like i feel like everyone just has no idea what there talking abt and they have never actually met someone who’s ACTUALLY sick and they are hounding me for being like one pound underweight like i’m literally pigging out all the time and then my dad will be like why are u always making food blah blah and i’ll be like i haven’t eaten all day and then i’ll just not not make what i was gonna make and then when i go back to barely eating anything he’s like “durrr are u starving yourself” LIKE FUCKING YEAH EVERYONE THINKS IM SO FUCKING FAT and then whenever ppl take pics of me caught off guard like WHY WHY WHY WOULD U DO THAT AND THEN SHOW IT TO ME I DONT WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE EVER and then they laugh abt it as if that’s not literally just what i look like. like i get it i’m ugly as fuckign fuck.

[tiktaalic]

Most shift of my life just happened. What if. Literally day one. You were told you will never ever get a positive shiga. Don’t even worry about the procedure because it will never happen. And tonight. After your supervisor went home. It happen. And you text him to ask what to do and he says idk look at the procedure. Procedure says call the health department IMMEDIATELY. this is not a 2 day notice or 24 hour notice this is IMMEDIATE as soon as you see it call. You have never called the health department before. You ask your supervisor if they need anything special (you are thinking some code your lab is registered or accredited under nationally that you do not know) he says. Idk check the clipboard that’s taped to the back of the micro hood. You spend ten minutes scrounging around the micro department for a clipboard anywhere (nowhere) on the back of a hood (all empty). This is because when you find it it’s a red binder in a book shelf. TASK PREREQUISITES NOW COMPLETE!

You call the number listed for the health department. Get sent to voicemail. You legally cannot leave a voicemail and HAVE to speak to a real live person to report this kind of bacteria. For After Hours Immediate Sensitivity Reporting Press Zero. Press zero. Robot says. Goodbye. Immediately hangs up on me. Get really confused. Call again. Robot voice. Goodbye. Really scrutinize the health department infographic. Find a different (after hours specific!) number. Call. No dial tone at ALL. no voicemail explaining everything. Just. Robot voice. Goodbye. Find ANOTHER number that by the looks of the call log is what people usually get in touch with. Whew. For After Hours Immediate Sensitivity Reporting Press Zero. 0? Goodbye. Google Redacted Health Departmnet. Call the office number. Finalyyyyyyyyyyy get an extension that works that is listed absolutely nowhere in any work documents. Guy I talk to says oh huh that shouldn’t happen. Didn’t know it was happening. I’ll have to call IT to look into this. Doesn’t matter to me! TASK 1/2 COMPLETE!

Now I have to call the doctor. Thank god we have a phone number for him! On a soreadsheet even! Hello. You’ve reached our office out of hours. FUCK! To speak with the on call for DOCTOR SO AND SO call X. Okay fine. Call X. Hi I’m calling about doctor so and so’s patient and oh my god I’m so sorry I need to put you on hold because the health department is on the other line. Get health departmnet shit straightened out. Get back on the line. The most annoyed woman you’ve ever spoken to answers. I’m the on call doctor. Great thanks sorry for the hold I’m calling about doctor so and so’s patient. Well he’s not in our office anymore. Ummm. Okay. I called his office which gave me the call center number which forwarded me to you. So. Most annoyed sigh in the world. I’ll take the result but here’s his cell phone number don’t call me again. OK! TASK DONE! Except. Since i had to call the health department about it I have to call them again to let them know that I have not actually spoken to the actual doctor. I have a whack ass slide review and whack ass UA and failed QC I need to troubleshoot and an Hbsag confirmation panel I need to set up by hand all waiting for me to get done with this fucking emergancy btw. And it’s 10pm which is when I usually shut down for the night to be done by 11pm when I’m off. AND JUST WHEN you THINK ITS ALL OVER. Peach still down

[polyacrylamidepensieve]

Today I was at work late because I needed results / data to come out the flow cytometry lab to figure out how to work up two different patient cases, and if I didnt order the right stains by 6 pm the patients’ cases wouldn’t be resolved until after the long holiday weekend. Because of the timing of pathology. And the lab techs were super sweet and pushed those two cases out for me first simply because they like me. And I helped them resolve a specimen swap mistake a few weeks ago.

Anyway that’s not the point. What happened was, I was sitting at my desk worrying and working and the janitor girl saw I was alone. She came up to me and said, I hate to bother you but… do you have any insight on lupus? I just got diagnosed.

I had about fifteen other patients swirling around in my head. I had half an hour to interpret the data correctly, double check with my attending, and order the stains.

Her question was so out of the blue - normally all the janitors and I say to each other is “thank you” and “you’re welcome” or “good morning”

I didn’t manage to do more than blink at her, pull up uptodate (“doctor google”), print out three articles on lupus diagnosis, treatment, etiology, etc, and ask her to get them from the printer because I was truly that dead tired. I pointed her in the right direction toward the printer. She thanked me on her way out a few minutes later. I completely forgot that any of this happened until literally just now when it hit me, four hours later in bed.

Fuck. Is this what it’s come to? Being too burned out and busy and exhausted to actually stop for a second and hear a person’s story and explain their situation to them in spoken words, with compassion? I gave her only a handful of kind words. I used to have so many. I don’t have any idea if she’s going to understand the articles whatsoever. I’d never seen her before, she wasn’t one of the usual janitors.

What is happening to me. I am barely functioning this week. My attending is horrific. Worse than my mom, but similar in so many ways that I’m constantly triggered. I can see she has ADHD signs and symptoms like I do, but can’t talk to her about it bc she’s old school and likely to respond poorly. she’s rude, constantly expecting too much of everyone else, slow, and her overwhelming anxiety is mostly expressed via shouting at and belittling everyone with “this won’t fly” and “why did this happen? Who did this” when anything goes wrong. We’ve had over 20 marrows four days in a row, which is busier than any other week so far, marrows-wise. I’m just trying to survive. Am on call for two weeks straight (which is a duty hour violation), even though my PD is getting actively yelled at for duty hour violations by the ACGME. I just. Completely forgot about this human interaction. It just fell out of my head as it was happening. I mean. I know I’m dissociating but fuck.

[arlo-venn]

Oh! But back to meeting with the surgeon about my gallbladder!

First of all, I love him. He is kind and thorough and respectful. Every time before he’d start to explain something, he would say, “as I’m sure you’ve already read,” / “I know you already know this, but…” and things of that nature. He spoke to me as if I am just as educated as he is.

He wants me to be seen by (his favorite) infectious diseases specialist so that we can test to see if there is still MRSA active in my body (which I didn’t know was a thing you could do! W H Y has NO ONE offered that to me before now?? Why didn’t Dr. Evil suggest that when I asked to come off the antibiotics!?) before we schedule the surgery, which I’m grateful for. He said even if it doesn’t end up relevant for the surgery, I deserve the peace of mind.

He ALSO wants me to see a rheumatologist to see if they can gauge “how bad of an Ehlers Danlos case” I am… I have NO idea what that entails but he wants to have as much info as he can in that regard with things like bleeding and anesthesia and slow wound healing in mind. I wasn’t aware that things could be assessed in such a way? Doctors who know about EDS are few and far between in this area but he says he will find one. I told him I’m willing to travel for it. (He doesn’t know one, he’s looking for one for me.)

He also does NOT cath for this surgery and confirmed there won’t be any need for anything below the belt to be messed with 🙏 He did say that sometimes, after surgery, people have bladder complications that may then require a catheter be placed, but he assured me that is rare and he’s a hardly ever had to.

He said, “you may have read that [word that means I have thickening of my gallbladder walls] can be a sign of cancer, but recent studies have come out showing that isn’t actually the case,” and then explained why. I didn’t even bring up cancer, he was just letting me know because he knows that’s what comes up when you google that word (I forget the word). He also went on to assure me that while he does not feel that cancer is a concern in my situation at all, they will be biopsy-ing every single one of the gallstones to make sure.

And! He had a female nurse come in so that we would not be alone when he needed me to lift my shirt, even though it was only my belly. He felt so safe that I didn’t even feel the need to ask about the pelvic exams under anesthesia thing or about having a witness present or anything. Literally ALL green flags.

Not only was he completely open to taking my personal experience with which pain medications do and do not work for me into account, but he seemed to genuinely appreciate the information bc it helps him do his job better. I forgot to ask if he’ll be willing to send refills if I am slower to heal than is expected, but he was so open to hearing me out and considering all things EDS that I’m not concerned about that at all. I think he will just believe me if I say that I need more.

[djarins-cyare]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

Thank you to both @ishabull and @amywritesthings for tagging me! 💖 There were a few more categories in Isabel’s version, so I’m using that template…

Last Song: Ready Now by dodie. Spotify has somehow figured out it’s the soundtrack to my fic and has put it in ALL my playlists! But I love it, so that’s okay.

Favourite Color: Teal if I’m looking for bold, or duck-egg blue if I need a softer pastel.

Currently Watching: Good Omens season 2 when I have time to give the screen my full attention (so mainly on my train journeys to London). When I’m making dinner and doing the dishes, I’m re-watching Elementary. I just finished re-watching seasons 1-13 of Doctor Who as well (prepping for DT’s return!). I’m also halfway through a second viewing of The Clone Wars (bc I was doing a whole Star Wars chronological re-watch), but I skipped ahead to watch Rebels a second time before Ahsoka comes out… and haven’t finished that yet either!

Last Movie: Attack of the Clones (during the above-mentioned SWU chronological marathon). Lately, I haven’t had the time to stop what I’m doing for the length of a whole movie!

Currently Reading: I mean, I’ve literally read nothing but Din Djarin fanfics for the last 24 months or so. On AO3 I take all F/M Din/Reader fics, sort by kudos, and then read everything one by one. I’m on page 15, and there are 20 fics on each page, so I guess I’ve now read the 300 top-rated fics. Right now I’m on chapter 2 of Birdsong by Lilac_Sugar.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Definitely sweet. I don’t mind savoury. I cannot deal with spicy, though - I’m a supertaster, so what’s mild to others makes me feel like my mouth is on fire. I would NOT make a good Mandalorian 😅.

Relationship Status: Utterly proud of my singular status, having finally let go of those damaging social constructs that teach us we’re ‘one half of a whole’. I’m not half of anything - I’m independently whole and complete, and instead of being afraid to be alone and desperately chasing the wrong people, I’m letting love come to me when the time is right… jate’kara. Though come back to me when I’m an old crone surrounded by dozens of cats… my opinion may have changed again!

Current Obsession: Continuing in my two-year obsession with Din Djarin. He is my every waking thought. Many of my unconscious ones too 🥰. More specifically, I’m obsessed with perfecting my fic, even though it’s now published, but that’s a neurodivergent thing. I literally won’t be happy until I’ve proofread and edited it to a professional degree. I’m also busy brewing my next fics… doing a lot of planning right now.

Last Thing I Googled: Boring real answer: it was a work thing, I was looking up criminal damage sentencing guidelines for a case I’m working on. Non-job-related more interesting and creative answer: I needed synonyms for ‘desire’ for my writing. There are seriously not enough nouns in the English language for this. I did learn this one: ‘cacoëthes’ - an uncontrollable urge or desire, esp for something harmful; mania. Sounds familiar… 🤔

Currently Working On: See obsession section above. Perfecting Be-All And Endor, and considering what else to write. I currently have 22 concepts and/or summaries, some short, some long, so I’m trying to decide what’s most appealing. It’s difficult! I’m also open to requests, as I think I’d like to do a few one-shots for practice.

No Pressure Tags: @missbabyjay @dins-riduur-anthe @space-cowboy-like-me @katiemando @linzels-blog @nervoushottee @frickatives @davnittbraes @littlewriter

[beatrice-otter]

Easy ways to make food taste better

Like many people, I don't cook meals from scratch very often. I can! My parents viewed cooking as a basic skill that everyone needs to know, so they both taught me themselves and had me do cooking in 4-H. (4-H is very good at encouraging children to build skill sets in whatever area they're doing projects/competing in, so that if you start as a pre-teen and continue on through High School you will end up with a very complete skill set in $area, whether that's cooking or photography or raising/showing animals or sewing or woodworking or one of a million other subjects. If you have kids and you live in the US, I highly recommend seeing if there is a 4-H club in your area because your kid will learn so much.) But I don't often choose to cook. I eat a small range of basic, low-prep foods, but I (literally) spice things up so that a) they taste better and b) they don't get monotonous. But I know how to do so because I know what I like from learning to cook a wide variety of things, and a lot of people who eat the same way I do don't have that skill. So here's a cheat sheet. First of all, you have to learn what spices you like. And I don't mean spices as in just "things that make food spicy" I mean all the stuff that goes into food to flavor it. There are a lot of spices out there, it can get very complex, but spice blends are your friend! Do you like Italian food? Italian Blend Seasoning is for you. Is it as good as tailoring all the herbs and spices to the flavor profile of each dish as a true chef would do? Nope! But it is perfectly acceptable. Do you like Indian food? Curry powder is the same way. There are others, too. Garam Masala is a spice mix for people who like South Asian food. Creole Spice Mix is for Cajun food. If you want to move beyond spices mixes, google recipes for your favorite dish and see what spices/seasonings are used in the recipes. Chances are, you will like those. In addition, you're probably going to want powdered garlic and either dried onion flakes or onion powder. Are they as good as fresh garlic and onion? No! You know what they are? Easy to use and shelf stable. Also, you can buy them in large containers relatively cheaply, and they make pretty much ANYTHING better. Second, learn what condiments you like. Not just ketchup, I'm talking all the other sauces that come in bottles. This one is easier, because you probably already know So now that we know what spices we like, we start adding them to things! Basic Rules for learning how to put seasonings in stuff: 1) Start small. You can always add more, but it's a lot harder to take stuff out. 2) Keep tasting as you add seasoning, so you can tell when you're done. 3) limit the number of seasonings/flavorings you're adding, especially when you're starting. Pretty much everything goes with garlic and onion, but not every spice goes with every other spice. If you're using a spice blend, you probably don't have to add anything else. If you're using individual spices/seasonings and you don't already know what flavors pair well together, keep it simple. 4) Garlic, onion, salt, and pepper are the basics. There are extremely few flavors that won't go well with them. If you think it needs something but don't know what, try one of those. 5) If you want to get fancy and do your own combinations of seasonings, check out recipes of dishes you like to see what seasonings are used together and what proportions they use. You can adjust it to your taste, but it will give you a place to start. 6) If you are doctoring a prepared meal and don't know where to start, check recipes online for what that dish would have if made from scratch, and add those seasonings to taste. Over time, you will get better at figuring out what you like and how things combine and what goes with what. Once you know more, that's when you start getting wild and crazy. Yes, I know, there are a lot of jokes about white people and spices, but "intense, in-your-face flavors" are for people with a lot of experience at making it the right intense flavor. You can get there! But if you're just starting out, start small and work your way up. Here's the key: since I only have spices I know I like, and I add a little bit at a time and taste it as I go, I can mix and match fairly easily. The worst that's going to happen is that sometimes two flavors don't mix as well as I'd like. Some results are better than others, but the only times I've had something I couldn't stand to eat was when I dumped a whole lot in at once. So now we're ready to start adding flavors to things. Here are some examples: Campbell's condensed Tomato Soup is kind of boring. But if you cook it with milk instead of water (so it's creamier) and add some Italian Seasoning mix, it is no longer boring. Campbell's chicken noodle soup is much better if you put some dried onion flakes, garlic powder, and spice mix of your choice in before you cook it. Unless you're buying the really high-end gourmet stuff, you can probably improve any soup by adding the right seasonings (to find out what you should use, google that type of soup and look at recipes.) Boxed macaroni and cheese is also easy to change up. Tonight, I was feeling fairly basic. So when I made it, I put in a generous dash of garlic and onion powder, a smaller dash of paprika, a dash of salt, some frozen peas (cooked with the noodles in the same pot), and some grated Parmesan cheese out of a can. It tasted great. (All of this is in addition to the regular packet of cheese powder that comes with it and the milk and butter it says to add.) If I'd been in more of an Italian mood, I could have used Italian seasoning mix instead of the paprika. Or maybe grabbed some other spice from the cupboard. Or put in a dollop of ranch dressing or salsa or other condiment that goes well with cheese. There are so many possibilities. This works in a lot of other ways too! I eat a lot of baked potatoes. They're healthy (providing lots of nutrients), cheap, and easy to make. (About 4-5  minutes in the microwave for a large potato.) And you can put almost any flavor with potato and it will work. Seriously. Microwave the potato, cut it open, mash down the insides, put a little butter on it, put your seasoning of choice on it. Or pick a condiment. Or melt a slice of cheese on top of it (I recommend waiting until the potato is pretty much done, cutting it open and mashing the insides, then putting the cheese slice on top and microwaving it for another 30 seconds). On weeks where I'm really low on spoons, I will have baked potato and chicken nuggets every night of the week and the baked potato will taste different every night of the week. Night one: Italian seasoning mix. Night two: Ketchup and Mayo. Night three: Curry. Night four: melted cheese. Night five: honey mustard salad dressing. Night six: paprika and garlic and onion powder. Night seven: barbecue sauce. In fact, most vegetables work really well for adding flavorings. Take the veggie, throw it in a bowl, put in a bit of butter and your seasoning of choice, and microwave it for a few minutes. Voila! If I want to cook and want something simple, the easiest "from scratch" meal you can make is "meat with condiment." No, seriously, choose your condiment. Here's an example with chicken: take the chicken pieces, cover them in condiment of your choice (barbecue sauce, honey mustard salad dressing, etc.) and bake it for 30 minutes. At 30 minutes, take it out, turn it over, put a tiny bit more of the condiment on what is now the top, and bake it for another 15 minutes. There you have it! Whatever cut of meat you have, you can put the condiment on it and bake it according to the instructions for that cut of meat, and it will be good. (Unless you pick a condiment you don't like, but why would you do that?) Eggs are also easy to doctor up with the seasonings and condiment of your choice. I make scrambled eggs a lot. Sometimes I put in mayo and italian seasoning. Sometimes I put in ranch dressing. Sometimes I put in curry powder. With scrambled eggs, put the seasonings in while you're cooking them, but put condiments in after. What are some simple tricks you use to make basic and pre-packaged food taste better?

comments Comment? https://ift.tt/iHWDgpd

[missamyshay]

what gravitated you towards peter & mj, what is about their relationship and characters that make you want to write them so often?

also i literally love everything that you write i didn’t think it was possible to love everything someone posts but here we are 🤭

Oooooo Anon, you have made The Ultimate Mistake of asking me The Perfect Question. I hope you have time on your hands…

Let’s start with Peter.

This might seem like a detour (I promise it isn’t), but I grew up watching Dr Who (if you’ve never seen/heard of it a quick Google search would be fun—it’s a very weird, very English show). And a lot of the same things I love about The Doctor are the same things I love about Peter Parker. There’s something so captivating about following the journey of this person who is at once both an invaluable hero and an absolute menace to society lol. A person who creates half of the problems that they solve and who is completely unhinged and often reckless but is also the one person you’d want around in a dire situation. A person who has probably seen a little too much, lived through a little too much, and still somehow has the ability to possess all the whimsy of a child and such a lust for life. A person who is so deliciously flawed. I love the undercurrent of grief that sets the foundation for what these characters choose to do with their lives, but also the abounding message that There Is Always Hope.

Although I have my issues with Far From Home as a story, it contains, in my opinion, one of the best Spider-Man moments across all the movies: in which he gets hit by a high speed train, wakes up in the middle of nowhere…and just fucking walks it off 🤣 That’s peak main character energy and such a great example of what makes him so freakin’ annoying (awesome).

And now, to the beloved MJ Watson.

MJ, in my humble opinion, is canonically Built Different. Being beside Peter Parker is simultaneously the safest place and the most dangerous place to be all at once. It’s both the most fun and most frustrating place to be. And MJ navigates that with such finesse. She’s her own person who forges her own path (many different ones) and doesn’t let Peter consume or dwarf her. She has a complex and intricate life of her own, and yet is still able to find enough space in her heart to love, unconditionally, this guy who is not just one person but two people in one. I think she’s one of the few people who understand the entirety of what it means to be Peter Parker, and that’s a really big thing.

I think there’s a reason why writers—both in the comics and in fan fiction—can’t seem to keep them apart. As evidenced by their history across the comics—the inevitable tragedy of them, the loss, the suffering, the reconciliation, the passion—they’re two characters who are destined to orbit each other forever.

As for why I write them—

It’s something I only really started doing in the last couple of years. I’m definitely not a veteran here lol. For a long time I was just a reader, mainly because I didn’t think I had the capacity to take on these characters and stories that are so well loved—especially when there are so many other people who do it so much better than I ever could. I read some of the comics growing up (but have to admit that I was more interested in the art than the plots at the time), and like many readers rediscovered my love of the characters through their few iterations on film. These films, and many of the fics I’ve read over the years, have led me back to the comics I grew up with and perhaps didn’t appreciate as well as I should have. So, in short (but actually quite long), me writing them is me showing appreciation for them. For the complexities of the characters as they were created, BUT also the possibilities of seeing them in new lights informed by my own experiences and writerly whims.

I’m sure this is a hell of a lot more than you bargained for, dear Anon, but if you made it to the end of this near-nonsensical ramble, then thank you very much for your time lol.

And thank you, so much, for reading my work, and loving my work. You have no idea how much it means to me. 🫶🏾

[ticklystuff]

hi i know i’m on hiatus but i need to vent bc it’s nearly 10 pm and i’ve been at work for 12+ hours dealing with an actual nutcase

Okay, so there was a mama goose that laid her eggs on the third floor balcony of one of the buildings at work and they hatched back in April and I have posted about them a few times. Since there are no resources on a third floor balcony for them, one woman started feeding them lettuce and grass clippings from her yard and then a couple other people, me included, started helping her feed them too. Everything was fine for the first month.

Eventually, the facilities manager caught on. For some reason, she believes they can fly (they cannot) and has posted signs saying to stop giving them food and water. They clearly cannot fly because they have their baby feathers, but this woman will not believe anyone that tells her. The woman that started feeding them initially got caught and had her third floor badge access revoked, so the rest of us have been smuggling food and water up there. It has been very stressful because facilities has been throwing food away that we’ve been storing, so we’ve resorted to hiding the food in different places, and they’ve been throwing the geese’s water bowls and will sometimes station security guards by the geese to prevent people from feeding them and then we will have to wait for the security guards to leave, which can be really late in the evening.

Today, my co-worker sent the facilities manager an email regarding the geese and potentially relocating them. The facilities manager calls her and tells her that they don’t need to be relocated because they can fly off on their own. My co-worker then asks “Well, what if you’re wrong and they can’t fly?” but the facilities manager just laughed and repeated that they can fly. 

I went up earlier to check on them and heard a loud noise coming from the geese area and initially thought some construction going on. When I get there, I see the facilities manager and three guys blasting music with a stereo to the balcony where the geese are. I go up to one of the guys and ask him what they’re doing and the guy is like “We’re trying to scare the geese away, but some of them seem like babies so they can’t fly” and I’m like no fucking shit. Facilities manager comes up to me and asks if I’m here to see the geese and I tell her no and that I was just stretching my legs and heard a loud noise. She then tells me “Well we’re having a party up here with the geese!” and I’m like “HA HAHAHA ROFLOLMAO XDDDDD” and then I leave. She is still up there trying to scare them away, but obviously they cannot leave. She is still blasting music at almost 10 pm and I am waiting for her to hopefully leave so I can give them food.

This other woman that has been feeding the geese goes up after I do and she sees the facilities manager. She goes up to her and starts having a conversation about the geese and she asks her are they going to be relocated and the facilities manager tells her no and that she’s gonna wait for them to fly. When the woman tells her that it takes about 8 weeks for them to learn to fly, the facilities manager asks her how she does she know these bird facts. The woman tells her that she just looked it up on the internet and the facilities manager says “Is everyone an internet doctor these days?” and it’s like bITCH YOU ARE LITERALLY STANDING IN THE RESEARCH BUILDING TALKING TO PEOPLE THAT DO RESEARCH FOR A LIVING WTF DO U MEAN BY THIS HAVE U NEVER GOOGLED BASIC SHIT BEFORE??????????

Honestly, yeah, you should not be feeding wildlife, but also, the facilities manager did nothing to help relocate them when they were born so they were probably going to starve up there if the initial feeder didn’t step in. I cannot for the life of me understand why she still refuses to relocate them

Anyway, still waiting for her to leave. I refuse to leave until I can feed them because they haven’t eaten all day and no one will be able to come in over the weekend to feed them because the heating/cooling system at work is being worked on, so they’re not allowing employees access this weekend and I wish to give them something in preparation for the long weekend. Wish me luck that I don’t get caught *sobs*

If I come back to dead geese on Monday, I’m going to rip the facilities manager to shreds *sigh*

[twistedappletree]

personal/medical stuff, cancer mention tw

At the doctor now for my appointment and it’s literally $125 just to see the doctor lmaooo (don’t have insurance and can’t enroll til the market opens up. what a great time for a cancer scare!)

I have the biggest headache too idk why and I took ibuprofen but it’s not working so I think it’s just stress or something?? But anyway, the lady at the desk said even after all this, I’ll still have to get a primary doctor so I’m just gonna get one here since they do primary as well as urgent.

Only thing I’m worried about is the doctor referring me out for a mammogram and idk if I have the money for that right now because I have zero idea how much a mammo costs without insurance ajdhjafdj tried googling but there’s too many different answers so I guess I’ll ask then when they see me 🙃