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skittlewaffle · 10 months

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Different Flavors of Daycare Attendants (WIP maybe ??)

PLEASE NOTE that I do not read fics a lot and certainly don’t know everything. These are just general headcanons about the Daycare Attendant placed into categories! Personally my view is a mix of a good handful of every category

But yes this was all made for fun because I have brainrot. I’ll keep adding to this post or make a part two if this is something people enjoy, and I’m happy to accept any help! I know there are plenty more headcanons that I don’t have under categories yet.

… Some sections were rushed because I just wanted to post this before Ruin comes out and the Biblically Accurate section gets muddled.. haha. JUST,, enjoy !!!

Canon

Sun

Unhinged

Potentially partially virused, though it’s generally assumed not

Theatrical antics

Probably overdramatic on purpose / playing his theater role but in a child care setting

LIGHTS ON!!

Overbearing, offputting, and loud

Stickler for rules and cleanliness

Keeps daycare clean and organized, but not himself or his room

Might not be restricted to daycare out of frame, but implications are present that he may be lonely

It’s unclear if he and Moon have a connection in their headspace, but it is sometimes assumed they don’t

Probably unaware of Moon’s virused state

Moon

Silly gremlin

Fully virused

Theatrical antics amplified; evil stage persona is more literal

Naptime protocol amplified; what feels to him like putting people to sleep is actually killing people

Childcare and entertainment programming still seems functional

Creepy

Loves to stalk, dance, and play pretend

Shares Sun’s obsession with rules and cleanup

Strong enough to knock out a Glamrock

Seems quite lightweight

Sounds like he has a built-in, broken music box ??

* HEADCANON: Has a different mode meant to reflect the gentler character he appears to be in the Moondrop candy advertisements, instead of his theater villain role

Anxious boys

Sun

Restricted to daycare, refuses to take even a single step out

Doesn’t know what he’s doing

Scares or hurts the kids on accident, proceeds to freak out over it

Weak to compliments and praise; he just wants to do a good job

Needs affirmation, stat

Will 100% fall in love with anyone who is consistently nice to him

Acts like a kicked puppy when spoken to sternly, lectured, or yelled at

Lets people walk all over him

Constant fidgeting

Stutters a lot

Stressed OUT

Constantly at his breaking point; help him

Moon

Self-conscious about his naturally creepy looks and mannerisms

Bad first impressions

Often keeps a distance, watching from afar

Uses few words

Wishes to be liked

A kid likes him? His child now.

Sad to see them go :(

Rather graceful, slow movements that give him eerie vibes

Tends to word things in ways that sound like red flags (like offering candy in a shady area), but doesn’t quite realize it

False reputation amongst patrons

Many complaints from parents for his bad vibes

Heavily misjudged; really means no harm

Wet napkin

Likes to dance on his wire; keeps him busy when he can’t socialize

Will perform many tricks for people who do become his friend

Never forgets anyone who is kind to him in even one instance

Confident boys / high experience DCA

Sun

Practically built for childcare; knows what to do in pretty much every situation

Loved by all the children

Social towards everyone, no matter how stubborn or closed off they may be

Manages to put a smile on all faces

Really not afraid of drawing attention or being embarrassing if it means making a child happy

Always knows just what to say

Very helpful to new employees

Might step outside the Daycare from time to time

Reads faces very well, in adults and children

Capable of disobeying protocols for more serious reasons

MUCH more observant than you think

Roasts Karens lol

Moon

Is both the Naptime Attendant and a nighttime security bot

Many children want to cuddle with him during nap time

Has a ton of patience

Especially loves getting to hold babies

Very protective of the little ones

The most feared security in the entire Pizzaplex

Takes his job as security bot very seriously; loves his job as a childcare worker

High Tech

DCA has many upgrades

Still very versatile and could be upgraded more

AI advanced enough to be considered eligible for human rights

Movements, speech, and feelings are very realistic, almost not robotic at all

Can experience human senses (smell, touch, etc.)

Softer casing to simulate a more human feel

Can blush and cry tears, but not bleed (unless it’s oil in their machinery)

Feels pain and temperature, and is ticklish

Can get overstimulated and feel disgust at certain textures

Has certain mannerisms that could classify them under certain diagnosable human conditions or mental disorders (which they technically aren’t; the diagnoses are worded for us humans to better understand and relate to)

Cannot get sick and doesn’t need to eat or breathe, but can pretend to

Has eyelids, lips, tongue, and movable facial features to emote better

Acts sleepy or drunk when low on battery, and genuinely feels like that

Has a simulated heartbeat and breathing

Waterproof

Multipurpose

Perfectly capable of obtaining a PHD

Seems to have built-in tools for almost anything, mostly for human health and first aid purposes

Might need some recovery time after P&S visits, similar to pain after human surgery (tight screws, rearranged wires, etc)

More capable of fighting viruses and defending themself and others

Low Tech

Basically a stereotypical cartoon robot

Still sentient and can learn, but still operates mostly on programming

Still have the basic qualities of Sun and Moon’s original personalities (cheery and loud; calm and quiet)

States what they’re doing out loud (processing, downloading, initiating protocol, etc.)

States warnings and errors out loud (low battery, update failed, null object reference, ERROR!!)

Static smile

Uses prerecorded lines often; new lines sometimes sound broken like AI or TTS

Might not understand certain topics

Might mishear you

Sometimes treats other everyday machinery like they are alive, mostly holding grudges, fearing them, or being jealous of them

Cares much more about the feelings of others than their own

Less capable of fighting viruses or preventing other unwanted actions towards them

Whores

Aimed towards the more mature side of the fandom

Bastards / smug / absolute sluts (affectionate or derogatory, whatever you feel lol)

Wear suits, ties, suspenders… fancy stuff

Shirts are often only partially buttoned, ties loose or just draping over

Also may wear feminine clothing, depending on the type of storyline

Can drink and smoke somehow

More laid back and flirtatious

Occasionally / casually threatening

Might have cool hats

Sometimes have guns / some kind of weapon

AWOOGA

Often involves suggestive implications

Call you nicknames you probably love but your Y/N often hates

Plot involving high stakes and serious danger

Simp material

We are attracted to any red flag they may have /hj

Animalistic

Sun

Dog

A big dog who thinks he’s a lap dog

Probably fell in love with you immediately

Separation anxiety / abandonment issues

Loyal; will always wait for you no matter what

Whines if you’re gone for too long :(

Misses you sooo much

Begs a lot

Head tilts

Extremely attentive, affectionate and excitable

Might tackle you

Loves playfighting

Always weak to praise and cuddles

Is a good boy, the best boy

Full of energy; loves to play

Rays fold backwards / retract when guilty, angry, or defensive

More apologetic than really necessary

Would probably be very sorry if you called him bad, even if he did nothing wrong

Easily excited / distracted at particular things or favorite items

Highly possessive of favorite items

Hides his favorite items in random corners of your house

Gets the zoomies (and may or may not accidentally break something from jumping over / running into furniture and stuff)

Very aware of people

Likes to sunbathe

Got muddy and needs a bath .. again

Has stim toys, many of them squeaky

Doesn’t sit on the couch right

Wants to protect you

Loves the outdoors and going for walkies

Always sleeps on your bed / somewhere in the same room

Wakes you with a complete ONSLAUGHT of smooches

Moon

Cat

First meeting was likely him hunting and pouncing at you

Still likes to stalk and prowl for fun / as a game

Likes to rest in elevated places, including the top of your fridge

Loafs

Hisses

Interested in silly / shiny little trinkets

Gremlin; knocks your stuff down on purpose and runs away

Has claws, could be retractable

Eyes dilate / shrink

Might flinch when touched, but still leans into it if he wants the attention

Slinks away from touch when distracted by something else

Likes to fall asleep on you; you can’t move (he is aware of this)

Likes laser pointers and dangly thingies

Enjoys sneaking up on you

Purrs (or has some robotic equivalent of purring, like whirring or broken music box)

Gets 3AM zoomies

Elegant s t r e t c h

Changes from bipedal to quadrupedal when he feels like it

Likes the window

Hates water, but likes to keep clean and tidy

Movements are fluid; he is liquid

Tries to fit into small spaces, twists his animatronic body to do so

Has favorite hiding places

Territorial

Hunts pests in your home if he’s bored.. might even bring them to you

Stares at you. Slow blinks. Affection.

Head bonks while sitting next to you

Lazy / sleepy bitch disease

Prefers to stay inside, but likes to explore occasionally and go for nighttime walkies

Always curls up beside you at night

You wake up to him kneading at you or rubbing his face on you

* DCA may have tails and / or beans

Brothers

Mostly tends to be a separate bodies view

Inseparable either way

Chaotic duo

Quite the opposite in a way they still have a close bond

Lots of playfighting

Sometimes actual fighting

Care a lot for each other, but have a sort of friendly rivalry

Never one without the other

Not afraid of speaking their mind plainly, to their benefit or detriment

Great teamwork on their better days

Immature pouting / silent treatment on their worse days

Do most everything together

Often competitive

Disagreements are most often more comedic than serious

Their fights are childish and silly; you can’t help but laugh

Sometimes complains about who the “big brother” is

Get into the silliest shenanigans; it’s trouble, but endearing all the same as they love having a story of adventure to tell

Know each other better than anyone else can

Look very closely after each other, especially when someone else gets close

Favorite colors are what the other wears most often / is themed after (Sun: blue; Moon: yellow)

Applies to their eye colors, especially if chosen by them for upgrades

While both are very different, both also exhibit certain behaviors that directly parallel / mirror the other

Lovers

(NOT brothers at the same time. Fuck off)

The most wholesome shit you’ve ever seen

Fluff, comfort, cuddles, words of affirmation… the dream

Tons of celestial nicknames, phrases, and metaphors

Very poetic; immerses you in calm, dreamlike scenery, like a storybook

Emotional support partners

Each often doesn’t take care of themself until the other notices and helps them

The cutest little dates (tea parties, art sessions, and sleepovers are common)

Still prone to angst, but has a happy ending

I hope

AUGHH

That is all for now; I hope you enjoyed!! If we have a continuation of this, I have category ideas, such as a Cartoonish DCA, a DCA with very very many features, Sun and Moon as enemies, or any other types of DCA you have in mind! Thanks for reading :D

#sundrop #moondrop #fnaf #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #daycare attendant #k rambles #k’s writing #???#man it’s 2:38 AM

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chalkysgarbagefire · 1 year

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There were certain undeniable cosmic truths that all human beings had to reckon with:

1. Everything dies; humanity, earth, the universe.

2. Change is inevitable.

Then there were the everyday truths that were no less earth shattering, but smaller, more personal. These little truths were fractals of the big two, broken down until they were easy to consume, palpable, and more importantly, Eddie’s legacy.

There were benefits to being the town freak; he knew things no self respecting member of Hawkins would know. They were too blindsighted by the theatrics and the yelling to notice that he listened, too. He was able to live above society, playing the role of the Fool and spouting his wisdom laced heresies, but never within it.

That’s how he knew:

1. Barbara Holland didn’t die from a gas leak. (see point 1)

2. Karen and Ted Wheeler’s marriage was dead in the water. (double whammy of point 1 and 2)

3. Larry Kline had a bit of a cocaine problem (change is inevitable; if it wasn’t white powder, it would be some other vice)

4. Steve Harrington was a grade A douchebag. (cosmic truth)

Eddie Munson was a burnout, a true Munson. He knew things he shouldn’t, much like his father, like how to hotwire a car and how to pick a lock.

He took pride in knowing things--knowledge was power, and these little truths were a currency of their own.

That’s why when he found Steve Harrington high out of his mind with a concussion, laughing in a bathtub in the middle of a party, he realized the worst truth of all:

He didn’t know a goddamn thing.

+++

The weight of just how much he didn’t know Steve Harrington was all consuming. He’d always been a stupid pretty jock, with too much money, riding the coattails of his parent’s name. Untouchable.

Not the boy wrapped up in his sheets with bruises lining his throat, splintered from the touch of too many hands.

I didn’t know.

He reached out with a trembling hand to move a lock of hair from his forehead. Long lashes fluttered against his cheek, daring to pull from dreams the waking world.

Thankfully, he didn’t stir.

Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to look away from the light of the cracked trailer window dappling the boy’s skin. His hair fanned out like a broken halo along the pillow, golden.

He thought back to the night of Tina’s party, walls vibrating with music and laughter, while he sat on the dingy bathroom tiles with Steve Harrington.

I didn’t know you.

He was no longer untouchable, not a marble statue, but a living, breathing, breakable thing. He couldn’t help himself, running a thumb along the frayed shirt collar. It was an old band shirt worn thin with love, light and airy. Fingers trailed along his skin, mapping out scattering of moles that lined them.

“That feels nice.” It was soft and sleep mussed, but warm. Steve cracked an eye open, sliver of hazel peeking through.

“Hey, pretty boy.” He tried to swallow the emotion bubbling up, feeling a calloused hand tangle with his own.

I didn’t know you would mean so much to me.

+++

There were certain undeniable cosmic truths that Eddie Munson had to reckon with, but none were more important than this: he knew he loved Steve Harrington.

#steddie #steve harrington #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson #steve x eddie #chalky writes

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nomorerww · 1 year

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I think this review of Memoirs of a Geisha is on point.

It is a smarmy film. And it dehumanizes it's subjects, who never really feel 'real'. the monotonous tone of the narrator makes the whole thing feel like a parody. It's just so weird. If you were a woman talking about some of the most dramatic times in your life would your priority be keeping the voice as breathy as possible?! And it underscores the overall predictability of the script and the fact that the white people who wrote it really loved stereotypes and making characters weirdly disney-fied. Memoirs just doesn't feel convincing

Speaking of convincing, it's just strange that Chiyo/Sayuri's laser focused on being in contact with a guy who bought her a freaking shavd ice as a little kid. She's bffs with Pumpkin, she's spending EVERY DAY with her and the other women in the okiya but the movie wants us to think that she's only thinking of this man old enough to be her father. idc what trope this is or what male wish fulfillment fantasy it came out of (virginal, young woman/teen obsessed with old guys....🤮🤮🤮) but it's WEIRD. It makes her character seem very bland. Not to mention the drama between the original male novel writer, Golding and the actual geisha he interviewed and wasn't supposed to name b/c of the backlash they'd get, which he did anyway and got sued over it. The geisha he talked to was also appalled that he portrayed prostitution (a virginal teen selling her body to old men a.k.a 'mizuage') as part of the role....

anywho

she gets it

back to the original review:

The first sign of trouble for Memoirs of a Geisha was the much reported hullabaloo over director Rob Marshall's decision to cast a slew of Chinese and Malaysian hotties to play the Japanese geishas in his film adaptation of Arthur Golden's best-selling novel.

The notion of national interchangeability irritates people who like to believe we have moved past the old-timey Hollywood where Caucasians in dark makeup used to play Native Americans and white guys in blackface were considered a laugh riot. But ethnically blind casting is the least of Marshall's problems.

[...]

Marshall's glamorized take on sexual slavery imagines Sayuri as a kind of rice-powdered Pretty Woman anxious to learn the art of walking on high heels and pleasing a man so she can win the love of the rich man she met as a little girl, the Chairman (Ken Watanabe).

Sayuri is adopted and taught the tricks of the trade by master coquette Mameha (Michelle Yeoh) and transformed into a geisha-to-be-reckoned-with. Miss Thing becomes the toast of Kyoto. But she has an enemy, rival geisha Hatsumomo (Gong Li) that she'll have to claw past first to become the top geisha in town.

master coquette lmfaooo

Like the battling she-devils of Chicago, Sayuri and Hatsumomo have the kind of hair-pulling rivalry more typical of women-in-prison films and dramas set in American high schools. The ultimate Mean Girls, the geishas are prone to arson, drag-out girl fights and trash-talking about the other geisha's sex life.

When Marshall's geishas don't get their way, contrary to the myth of submissive china dolls hiding behind their fans, they get medieval on somebody's ass.

As Marshall demonstrated in Chicago he has a thing for sexy, trouble-making women and theatrical lighting. A dance number in Geisha where Sayuri entices every codger in the city to bid on the privilege of deflowering the virgin geisha features fake snowfall, a dramatic blood red light and Sayuri in ankle-breaking wooden sandals. It looks like a Flashdance outtake. We know dance is former choreographer Marshall's thing, but it may not work in every film.

the amount of times that they force gong li to grab zhang and shove her face an inch away from hers as she purrs a threat is... too much. it def. feels like lesbian fetishism.

[...]Memoirs of a Geisha is ultimately just another fluffy love story in which Sayuri's desire to be loved by the Chairman becomes her life's ambition.

unfortunately

Despite its strong cast of Asian cinema divas, Geisha feels like a botched opportunity. The film never achieves the vibe it's aiming for, of a female-centric tale of Dickensian struggle for self-determination. Marshall has instead crafted a mildly smarmy, heavy-breathing fantasy about some super-hot babes knocking each other down to get to the man meat while ignoring the fact that they are essentially sex slaves.

Sounds like someone else's fantasy entirely.

*nods vigorously*

#Stereotyping #ethnic stereotypes #memoirs of a geisha

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bewitching-elizabeth-olsen · 3 years

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Press: Streaming, With Only a Little Trepidation

“I’ve never had more fun on a job before,” says the WandaVision lead who spoke with the Ted Lasso star about their shows, the Scarlett Johansson lawsuit, and what happens to the theatrical moviegoing experience now.

In Reunited, Awards Insider hosts a conversation between two Emmy nominees who have collaborated on a previous project. Here, we speak with WandaVision star Elizabeth Olsen and Ted Lasso co-creator and star Jason Sudeikis, who previously starred in the 2017 film Kodachrome.

VANITY FAIR: Elizabeth Olsen and Jason Sudeikis met for the first time just before filming their 2017 indie Kodachrome, but they already had at least one thing in common: a “big old crush” on Ed Harris, as Olsen describes it. “He did not disappoint at all,” adds Sudeikis. “He stuck up for us. He cared about us. He cared about the movie.”

A guide to Hollywood’s biggest races

Now, the two have much more in common, as first-time Emmy nominees. Olsen is nominated for lead actress for her work as Wanda Maximoff in WandaVision, a Disney+ limited series that explores grief and loss, through a superhero story wrapped in a parody of TV sitcoms. Sudeikis earned four Emmy nominations for Apple TV+’s darling Ted Lasso, which he cocreated, cowrote, and stars in as Ted, a cheery American football coach who attempts to coach an English Premier League soccer team.

In early August, Olsen and Sudeikis reunited over Zoom to chat with Vanity Fair about transitioning these characters to TV, their views on the new streaming empires, and what they think of the lawsuit Scarlett Johansson recently brought against Disney regarding the strategy to stream Black Widow simultaneously with its theatrical release.

Vanity Fair: It’s been quite a few years since you shot Kodachrome. What do you remember about where you were on your trajectories at that time?

Elizabeth Olsen: Of life? It was when I was at a down trajectory.

Jason Sudeikis: Personally or professionally? I feel like from the outside, it only seems like you operate in one direction [motions upward].

Olsen: From a personal standpoint. So, I was excited to get to do a small movie, an intimate job that had some levity. And that was really nice. And I have a big old crush on Ed Harris and I still do.

Sudeikis: Yeah. To know that the director was like, “hey, we’re thinking about Jason Sudeikis for this role” and then Ed Harris stayed on, It was like, “all right, pleasant surprise. Pleasant surprise.”

Your current projects, WandaVision and Ted Lasso, may seem very different but do have one thing in common: they both feature characters that originated elsewhere. Wanda is obviously from the Marvel films and Jason you played Ted Lasso in commercials. Why did you feel these characters would work on a TV series?

Olsen: I got really comfortable in the Marvel movies, taking up my piece of the story and my piece of, how does my little arc work in this much larger arc with 30 other characters? And so the idea of all the focus being on me and Paul [Bettany] totally freaked me out. And that it was on television felt weird because these characters are superheroes and maybe they should be seen on big screens and not televisions. But the entire DNA of the show was meant for television. It was written for television. The arc has to be told through television. And from an actor’s point of view, it was something I’d never done. I’ve never done sitcom acting, let alone go through the decades with it.

And I’ve never had more fun on a job before. We got to go to work and just feel like an idiot all the time. And all of us, we’d be like hamming, hamming, hamming, and use each other as these barometers of “are we doing this too much? Is this now just a parody? Is this a joke? At what point are we supposed to dial it back?” And at one point I did, I think, a quadruple take, and that was the first time the director asked me to pull it back and just do a double take. So it was pretty incredible to get to expand on the character and this world, but do it from a totally different perspective. I’m so grateful for that job.

Sudeikis: Have you hosted SNL yet?

Olsen: God no!

Sudeikis: No? Well, I’m not going to agent you and be like, “if they ask, would you ever want to?” But, look, I know you’re funny. It was really fun to watch you do multi-cam sitcom acting. And then the genre thing, it made me be like, “oh, she would crush on SNL”. You’re always going to internalize stuff because you’re, in my opinion, very, very talented and very, very smart. So then even when you externalize things, like a quadruple take, it would be joyful to watch even in the attempt. Watching the show, it didn’t seem at all like an aberration or like you were putting it on. It felt well conceived and well thought out. And it almost made me wonder if the creator was aware of that or was it all just an act of faith on their part.

Olsen: It was a total act of faith. What they did is they took comedy actors who are really funny and gave them the more dramatic stuff. Because they thought that would balance out when we failed. And we’re like, “You guys are very smart for doing this.”

Sudeikis: Now, are you putting that on them or was that articulated to you day one?

Olsen: We talked about it. We were so open about it. We’re like, “this is very clever that you guys put some of the funniest actors in MCU in these dramatic parts.” But SNL, I watch it every Saturday when it’s live. I’m obsessed with SNL and that’s why I would never! It’s like the ocean. I respect the ocean so much and that’s why I don’t need to go in it.

Sudeikis: I don’t know. I think we’ll see. This is going to be like Charles Foster Kane’s declaration of principles. “I would never host SNL.” And then, “And your host, Elizabeth Olsen.”

Olsen: So tell me about Lasso: small to big.

Sudeikis: Me and my buddies, Joe [Kelly] and Brendan [Hunt], did those commercials in 2013, 2014, and we then sat down to talk about it in 2015. And it was kind of like, “okay, is it another set of commercials? Is it a movie?” I knew what the character was and we all grew up with great sports films, by Ron Shelton and Rudy and Hoosiers and things like that. But then also liked Nora Ephron, you know? We wanted to make something that had a little bit of romance. And romance may not be sexual, it’s also a platonic version of romance. And the story just sort of spooled out of us in a way that garnered a pilot episode and then a well-beat-out outline for a season. Because we were kind of modeling it after the British Office where it’d be like six episodes, six episodes, and then maybe an hour and a half special, like a movie type thing. Not wanting to take up too much space and not knowing how long it would go. And so it only could be a TV show, was the way it felt.

And so then it went away for a while because that was in 2015. And then lo and behold, it comes back around when I met Bill Lawrence for this other project. That one didn’t work out, but he was like, “Do you have anything?” I said, “Well, we have this.” And I remember having a whole bunch of stuff in this office, more work than I think he realized. He’s like, “Oh yeah, this is definitely, this is a whole thing. Okay. Wow. You guys have really thought this through.”

Olsen: Did you have a [writers] room or did you already write most of it?

Sudeikis: No, we definitely had a room. It was like I knew the chords, I knew the structure of things. We had a great room of 11 people for the first season. With hiring people, we just had good fortune. I didn’t know it was interesting at the time, but asking people during the interview process who their mentors were, who were the people that encouraged them, who made you think you could do this for a living—you can learn a lot about a person by listening to them talk about their mentors, their heroes.

Olsen: With the jokes, I feel like they’re so quick, but they’re so specific to people who watch sports and who knows sports. Well, not all of them, but a lot of the jokes are. Do you have a list of ones that you want to get in there or are these coming up in the room? Because it gets me as a big sports person.

Sudeikis: It really depends on it. There’s some ideas that I’d had for years and years that are just from old notebooks that I used to carry around when I worked on SNL before you would type things into a phone. And storylines and themes and characters that have just been ruminating in my head based on other ideas for either movies or sketches that didn’t make it. And then a big part of the room is that we have this collective consciousness that isn’t all sports.

And then with specific soccer jokes, we do try to include jokes that we call “two percenters” that only football fans would like. Just as our little tip of the cap because we wouldn’t be here without that group of people digging our shit back in the commercial days.

Your shows were on Disney+ and Apple TV+. Did you have any concerns about them being on streaming services, which were relatively new at the time, and finding an audience?

Sudeikis: It’d probably be more so if it was like Goodyear TV+, if it was some brand that didn’t already rule the world of entertainment and technology.

Olsen: I did a version of that with Facebook. And I didn’t like that experience. I loved my show [Sorry for Your Loss] and I loved everyone that I worked with. But the Facebook relationship was frustrating because of the lack of television experience and how the platform is organized. When we went to season two, we had a meeting that our show called for Facebook to have with us, so that we can give them our notes about their platform and why we think it’s really hard to find our show on their platform and how it’s congested. So I was anxious going into Disney+. But I knew it was Disney. And I think I was more anxious with the Marvel characters being on television than I was about the Disney+ element.

Sudeikis: Golly, I didn’t even consider that. And you’re absolutely right, because Facebook would be closer to Apple. Truth is we didn’t have a choice. We pitched it to a bunch of different places. They were the only ones that would open the door and say, “yeah, come in out of the rain, you can hang out in here. You can do your little show in here.” And so, the trepidation was alleviated by the fact that there was nowhere else open to us.

Olsen: Facebook and Apple I feel like aren’t that similar.

Sudeikis: No, but they hadn’t created content before.

Olsen: Well, Facebook now is [scaling back] scripted content.

Speaking of streaming, both of you have starred in big theatrical movies. Are either of you worried about the theatrical experience, in the way that COVID has changed how movies are being released at this point? We saw how that’s playing out with Scarlett Johansson’s recent lawsuit.

Olsen: I’m worried about a bunch of things. Not worried on Scarlett’s behalf. But I’m worried about small movies getting the opportunity to be seen in theaters. That was already a thing pre-COVID. I like going to the movies and I don’t necessarily want to see only an Oscar contender or a blockbuster. I would like to see art films and art house theaters. And so I do worry about that, and people having to keep these theaters alive. And I don’t know how financially that works for these theaters. I do hope that there’s some sort of solution that the larger companies are coming together to keep, at least in L.A. this is going to happen. But I do think it’s going to be how it kind of used to be when studios owned theaters. And I have a feeling that we might go back to that being the only way to keep them alive with such expensive real estate. But when it comes to actors and their earnings, I mean, that’s just, that’s just all contracts. So it’s either in the contract or it’s not. What about you? Are you worried about Scarlett?

Sudeikis: Of course. How could I not? She’s married to my comedy brother [SNL’s Colin Jost].

Olsen: I think she’s so tough and literally when I read that I was like, “good for you Scarlett.”

Sudeikis: Well, I mean, it is appropriately bad-ass and on brand. I think it’s also married to yes, the COVID of it all and success of the streaming sites. But also just technology. I mean this thing [points at his TV] is as good as any movie theater, and all that stuff is getting cheaper and cheaper. If you’re a family of five and you’re going out there and it’s a whole thing. And yet the communal experience, towards Lizzie’s point is, is one that you can’t replicate in home. You can’t replicate through social media. I think both of our shows have succeeded greatly on their own merit, but it’s certainly written further through people’s love of them socially. Which would have happened back in the day around a water cooler. And while that’s nice, it’s still not the same as sitting next to everybody and getting scared at the same time or cheering at the same time and laughing at the same time.

I do think though, if we just use anecdotally, Kodachrome as an example, more people probably have seen it because it got on Netflix than they would have in the theater. And the more that happens, the better. So it’s like there is that reach that as long as those streaming sites are still paying to make those little movies, they have the opportunity to be seen. And so it is this balance. I just hope that with that still comes creative autonomy, and we don’t lose sight of that.

What about the experience of making these shows will you take on to your next project and the one after that?

Olsen: Well, I definitely had a shake-up to use my full body as an actor. I had to create a character and voices. And just all the technical stuff that I have loved doing my whole life was just shook up a bit. And so I’m now really excited to do more of that and to feel a bit freer in building characters. And so that has really informed the next thing I’m working on now and preparing for. It’s just kind of put me back in my actory body in a really good way.

And hosting SNL.

Olsen: Of course, now I’ll host SNL because stage fright has nothing to do with that. I can do a monologue in front of people and make them laugh.

Sudeikis: Not a prerequisite. Having worked there for 10 years, not a prerequisite. Well, the tacky answer is it’d be tough not being the boss again. And I’m fucking flabbergasted that people have picked up so much what we set down for them. You know what I mean? From colleagues on the writing and acting side to just regular folks back home, people I’ve never even met. It’s thrilling. I have to try to make sense of that for myself. And I think a lot of it has to do with it being something so personal. And so that might be the thing to lean into.

Olsen: It’s interesting you say that because immediately three days after wrapping, I had to go into a film where we’re not in WandaVision land, obviously. I mean, they kind of are a muscle, these Marvel movies. Instead of going back to that routine of it, I tried to do what you’re saying. I was like, “okay, so what can I play with that I haven’t gotten to that’ll at least satisfy something inside me that I want to play with right now?”

Sudeikis: I don’t know when I’ll get to do that again, when I’ll do that next. Because yeah, it’s Lasso—

Olsen: Lasso forever.

Sudeikis: At least for a little bit longer.

Olsen: Is it what you said, three seasons and then a special?

Sudeikis: I mean, the special would have been the third season with the initial thing. Now you sound like you’re my agent or manager.

Olsen: Oh good, that’s what I came here for. That’s what I wanted to do.

Sudeikis: Who sent you? I know the end of this story. I mean, the fact that we have a third season could fucking blow it all and ruin what would people like so much of the first season. We might be in the middle of doing it now in the second season. I don’t know. We’re just doing it the same way we did it last time. So we’ll see. But yeah, that’s a big old, long winded question mark.

Olsen: Or an ellipsis.

Press: Streaming, With Only a Little Trepidation was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

#Elizabeth Olsen #WandaVision #Avengers #Scarlet Witch #Wanda Maximoff #Sorry For Your Loss #Avengers Infinity War #Avengers Age of Ultron #Captain America Civil War #Ingrid Goes West #Godzilla #Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness #Marvel #MCU #Candy Montgomery #Love and Death #Avengers Endgame

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duhragonball · 3 years

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Chi-Chi

I think I’m gonna wrap these up today so I can get back to work on my fanfic. For the record, I got Buu, Frieza, Jolyne Kujo, Father Pucci, and Jobin Higashikata left to go, and then I’m done.

But I hate to call it here, because this has been fun. Maybe I’ll bring this back some time.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: I started watching DBZ back in the fall of 1998, and I didn’t get very serious about it until 2000. Chi-Chi didn’t have a very big role in the Saiyans or Frieza arcs, and I wasn’t making a point of watching every episode, so it took a while for her character to be fully revealed. Starting out, she was basically popping in every so often to remind us that she wanted Gohan to study. She stood up to Garlic’s henchmen in Movie 1, but didn’t really get a chance to do anything. In the Garlic Junior Saga, it’s stated that Chi-Chi is the strongest woman in the world, which sounds pretty impressive as long as you don’t think too hard about how many women are on the show.

I don’t think I really understood Chi-Chi well until I got to the part where Goten spars with Gohan, and he reveals that Chi-Chi had been training him while Gohan was studying. That was where it became clear to me that she only emphasized book-learnin’ over ass-whoopin’ because she knew Goku had that side of things covered. With Goten, Chi-Chi had to be both mother and father to him, and she didn’t shirk from that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Chi-Chi’s a great supporting character. She maintains a presence in the story whether she’s on-screen or not, and you learn about her gradually through these short appearances. And when she does show up, it’s just a treat to see. She’s always got something to say, and she’s cute and she can beat your ass. What’s not to like?

Why I don’t: Yeah right. Look, the biggest gripe people have with Chi-Chi is that she makes her son do homework, which is dumb. She explains this a number of times: There’s more to life than fighting, and she wants that for her son. And Gohan’s not exactly worse off for her style of parenting.

I think the disconnect here is that people watch this show and they want to see Goku and Gohan screw around and go on adventures, and they feel like Chi-Chi is here to kill their buzz. I guess it’d be like watching a football game, and every so often some guy wanders out onto the field and scolds everyone for playing football. But that guy would be right, because football is dangerous, yo. Everybody keeps telling Chi-Chi that the only hope for the world involves her little boy getting his ass kicked by aliens, and she’s like “no, that’s bullshit,” and she’s absolutely right. She’s a saint for tolerating it as much as she does, but I think a lot of fans refuse to look at it from her point of view. They just want the fighting.

I remember Lanipator observing that he used to hate Mr. Satan when he was younger, but the older he got, the more and more he appreciated the character. I can’t relate to that, because I was old enough to drink when I started watching this show, so for me, there is no “when I was a kid” perspective on Dragon Ball. I thought Mr. Satan was awesome from the start, and I never had much of a problem with Chi-Chi either.

They did tend to overexpose both characters in the anime, cutting to them when they needed a filler moment to pad out an episode or five. So maybe that’s got something to do with it. But that’s not the fault of the characters. But yeah, if I was watching the Cell Games at age 10 I’d probably get really sick of them constantly cutting to Mr. Satan or Chi-Chi for analysis.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): It’s probably hard to top the one where she fought Goku. That was one of the last Chi-Chi moments I got to see, because I didn’t get caught up on OG Dragon Ball until 2004. It’s an excellent use of the character and her lengthy absence from the show. By the time she reappears, no one recognizes her, and she’s upset about being forgotten.

Favorite season/movie: I think I’d have to go with the Buu Saga, on the grounds that she got more time to shine, mainly due to so many other characters being unavailable. It was a real roller coaster ride for her too. Her husband’s dead and she’s raising two kids on her own, then he comes back, then he leaves again, and maybe Gohan’s dead too, and now Goten has to fight, and then she’s dead, and then they’re all back together in the end. Wild.

Favorite line: In the Cell Games Saga, there’s a TV show where Mr. Satan drags three buses onto the set, cuts a scathing promo on Cell, and then punches one of the buses to put an exclamation point on the whole thing. Wait, I take it back, I’m pretty sure 10yo me would have loved Mr. Satan.

Anyway the live audience is marking the fuck out for Mr. Satan, but at Kame House Yamcha and Krillin are unimpressed, because they punch holes in like fifty buses every morning as a warm-up. But in the dub of that episode, Roshi remarks that Mr. Satan’s theatrics are “sad”, and Chi-Chi goes “It sure is. Somebody could have used that bus.” Classic, total classic.

Favorite outfit: It’s hard to pick, honestly. I like the Buu Saga yellow, but I prefer the way her hair looked in the Saiyans Saga. And that outfit she wore near the end of DBZ was pretty great too.

OTP: Goku. come on.

Brotp: I think Bulma sort of stepped into that role after Trunks was born, but Chi-Chi seems like a loner to me. She basically rolled in, got Goku to marry her, and then retreated deep into the mountains to interact with as few people as possible. I need me a freak like that.

Head Canon: I think she’s genuinely proud of Goku and the boys being so great at super-karate-laser wars. She doesn’t talk about it much, because there’s plenty of other people to congratulate them on that sort of thing, and I think they sort of look to her for as someone who grounds their family.

To put it another way, I don’t think Goku wants Chi-Chi to talk a lot about the androids or the Saiyans or whatever. I think he wants someone to bother him with household matters and chores and ordinary stuff. And Gohan and Goten just want a regular mom to balance out their alien monomyth dad. And she plays that role well, because that’s who she is. But she’s still proud of them for saving the world and so forth.

Unpopular opinion: Chi-Chi was right.

Look, how was Gohan going to make a life for himself as a fighter, in a world where Goku and Vegeta have that market cornered?

Where’s he live? In a big-ass mansion. Why? Because he married a rich man’s daughter. Where’d he meet her? In the school Chi-Chi made him go to. How’d he get in to said school? He aced their entrance exams. How’d he do that? Chi-Chi made him study.

What does Goku do all day when he isn’t training? He drives a tractor? Why? Because his wife has a thing for farmer aesthetics. Why does he just do whatever his wife tells him? Because he didn’t study.

A wish: I wish all the Chi-Chi haters would stay out of my soup, because it’s salty enough as it is. (Heyoooo!)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I’ve been seeing Manalorian spoilers lately, and I don’t want to give anything away, but it seems like every time something happens on Mando, all the chuds come out of the woodwork to complain about Episode VIII and/or IX. They’re like “thank you, Disney, for giving us the [Star Wars thing] that Disney refused to give us.”

My fear is that Star Wars has become balkanized into this thing where people praise half of it as fixing or undoing the damage caused by the other half. Used to be, people would either like the Ewoks or hate them, but they couldn’t ignore the fact that they were there. Now it’s like any movie that doesn’t feature Ewoks is done to cater to the anti-Ewok crowd, and any movie that does is solely for the purpose of keeping the pro-Ewok side engaged.

My point is that I worry that this will happen to all media franchises, and Dragon Ball Q will feature a Chi-Chi that gets turned into a hateful she-hag to satisfy the haters, and then Ultra Dragon Ball Deluxe will feature a more nuanced version of Chi-Chi as a make-good, thereby pissing off the haters. And they’ll go back and forth trying to please everyone while the character ends up becoming an incomprehensible mess from it.

5 words to best describe them: Adorable tiger mom/bus advocate.

My nickname for them: Cheech.

#ask duhragonball #dragon ball #chi chi #Anonymous

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curatedkmen · 3 years

Text

“Closer”chapter II

Song rec: Blood Knows - Rhye

2016

“Seonho have you met everyone? This is Bae Sung Woo hyungnim, Park Sodam, and…” Le Dong Ha was introducing everyone to Seonho who just came in the theatre meeting room for a first script reading with the cast of “Closer.”

Closer. The theatre play that leave a huge impression in Seonho’s heart, mind, and body. After the alley accident that happened 6 years ago, Seonho could not get rid of Geunyoung’s image in his head. Well despite the fact that Moon Geunyoung is an actress and she is everywhere on tv so it’s impossible to forget her face but he specifically could not get rid of the image of Geunyoung kissing him and moaning between their kisses while his three fingers were moving deep inside her. That night when he went home, he was feeling a little pain and discomfort on his scrotum. The guy was feeling the symptoms of blue balls from holding that erection for a long time without having an orgasm. He got home riding the subway, went to his room and took a bath, feeling ecstatic from remembering Geunyoung’s face when she came and painful at the same time from his dick.

A month after that alley accident, yes, Seonho prefered to call it an accident because both can't possibly know that they were gonna make out in an alley with strangers they just met in a club, Seonho went to the military. Fulfilling his duty as a South Korean citizen for 18 months and came back again as a theatre actor.

He continued to land on offers and more offers for a theatrical role. He was given the nickname “theatre idol” because of how famous he is amongst the theater fans due to his great acting and irresistible dimples. His career gradually grew as he got more important roles and played in biggere auditoriums, which showed how more and more people were expecting his performance on stage.

He continued with his life and had a couple of girlfriends but no one could ever help him forget Moon Geunyoung.

One day in April, Seonho received news from his theatre crews about a role in “Closer” stage play that was going to be held in the second half of the year. He was offered the role of Dan.

When he first got a call from the directors, he almost lost his shits. He was so happy because he loved the play so much, the range of emotions, the dialogues, and the build up was so stupidly intense but delicate at the same time so as a theatre freak he was so excited to challenge himself in that role.

“Kim Seonho-ssi, I’m sure you've heard about the offer, so I just want to confirm if you would like to join us on this year’s “Closer.” I watched you a lot already, I couldn’t watch “True West” but I watched “Almost Maine” and you were brilliant in it.��

“Yes, Director. I would love to join you. It is an honor, really. I have been a fan of “Closer” for a really long time. I would love to challenge myself to bring Dan into life this time.”

“Wonderful, I’m so glad to hear that. Oh did you perhaps watch “Closer” in 2010?”

“Yes, yes I did. It was a month before my enlistment so I couldn’t miss it”

“Actually we will have some of the same actors from “Closer” 2010 but it is still being discussed”

Seonho almost could not believe his ears. Same actors? Don't tell me she’s gonna play as Alice again? I’m not sure I can behave for the second time looking at her in that freaking dress for fuck sake.

“Really? Which actors is it?”

“Bae Sung Woo and I’m not sure again with the others. But I’m sure you’ll see them all in two weeks for our first reading”

“Okay Director, I will see you in two weeks then. Thank you very much again for this opportunity”

Seonho couldn't get the thought out of his mind that Geunyoung might be acting again on this year's closer again but he just decided to not let that thought bother him or even to ask the director about it and see for himself if In two weeks he will find her in the room for their first script reading.

Two weeks went by and he finally met his co-stars on the first group reading when he first entered the room. He quickly screened everyone out to make sure the girl that he would love to see once again but at the same time also the girl that he would hate to see in this setting is not in the room. Thankfully she was not there.

“Sunbaenim, I actually went and saw ‘Closer’ six years ago and I watched the one where you were acting as Larry. I just wanna say that I admire you as an actor and it is an honor to be able to act in this year’s ‘Closer’ with you” Seonho said to Bae Sung Woo as they wrapped up the script reading session.

“Thank you Seonho. It is like a fate then that you’re here now acting as Dan six years later. I’m really looking forward to your performance, I’m sure it’s gonna be great”

Next to Bae Sung Woo was Park Sodam who acted as Alice in the play. She overheard Seonho talking to Sung Woo and jumped into the conversation.

“You’re so lucky Oppa, I did not watch the Closer in 2010, I wish I did. Did you watch the one where Sung Woo Oppa and Geunyoung Unnie were in it?”

“Uhm yeah actually I watched the one with Moon Geunyoung in it” Seonho answered her question while trying to stay calm.

“Oh gosh, I bet she was amazing as Alice. I should call her and ask for advice.”

Seonho forgot for a second that these people in front of him have been working in the industry for years and it came as no surprise that they knew Geunyoung, the verteran actress. Suddenly, he felt a hand landed on his right shoulder, he looked towards his right, apparently Park Eunsok, the one who was gonna play Dan other than him, now stood beside him.

“Hey you should invite her to come to our play Sodam-ah. For old time sake. I’m sure she would love to see it. I will contact her as well so she’ll come hahaha. Sung Woo Hyung you should also invite her!” Park Eunseok said eagerly.

Fuck, oh right he worked with her in that drama last year. Why does everyone know her? Well she could come when Park Eunseok plays instead then I’ll be saved. I’ll just see her from far away in the audience seats.

A month later, after countless practice, they finally had their first show. Seonho had been so busy practicing for his role that he forgot about his worries about the possibility of Geunyoung watching the show for a while. He did a lot of shows already for 2 weeks and he had not seen Geunyoung in sight. He thought maybe she came already when Park Eunseok was playing as Dan and he did not even bother to ask Sodam or Eunseok because he could not even bear saying her name in front of her colleagues or friends.

Until one day, in the middle of the show, he was saying his lines for the scene where he was arguing with Alice. He sat on a chair facing towards the right side of the audience. As the emotion built up, among the words of Dan, he spotted those eyes.

The eyes that he could not possibly forget since he first saw them so close six years ago. Moon Geunyoung was amongst the audience. Wearing a black dress and a grey sweater on top of it. Even in the darkness he could see her eyes shining. He was lost in her eyes for a split second as she was also looking at him from her seat before he continued to deliver his lines. His heart was beating so fast he felt like he could explode on that stage in that second. The sudden adrenaline rush has caused him to scream louder when he finally hit the moments where he had to show frustrations to Alice. He thought that maybe letting it all out would reduce the surge of energy that he was feeling after he saw Geunyoung in the audience.

The show finally ended, successfully, like usual. All casts went backstage to do a short evaluation and to pray once again for another successful show next week. Afterwards, usually the cast’s close friends or colleagues approached them backstage to say congrats and all.

Seonho was talking to one of his college friends when he saw Geunyoung again, entering the room and went straight to Park Sodam to congratulate her. She had not seen him yet so Seonho had the liberty to stare at her still in disbelief from across the room since he was not able to do it in the auditorium. Not long after, Bae Sung Woo and Park Eunseok approached Geunyoung and Park Sodam. Seonho can see the four of them talking and laughing from where he was standing.

Not long after, his college friend bid him goodbye and so he was finally left alone. He was not able to think straight. He knew that Geunyoung just saw his performance on stage and now she is in the room standing just 7 metres from where he was standing. He did not have the guts to approach her. Not tonight. So he just packed up his stuff hurriedly and when he was finally done, he turned around and he felt like his heart dropped. Park Sodam was standing in front of him.

“Kkamjjag-iya, why Sodam-ah? What’s wrong?” he said hurriedly while putting his right hand on his chest.

Park-Sodam looked at him while trying to hide her laugh, “why are you so surprised Oppa? Hahaha you’re so red right now.”

“It’s just, because it’s hot here.”

“Wait are you leaving? No way, I want to introduce you to Geunyoung Unnie first. You’ll love her. You don't know her right?”

“No it’s fine you don't have-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Sodam was already calling Geunyoung, “Unnie, come here” and she looked towards them. Now he could not possibly just run away. As Geunyoung walked towards them, he could feel his heart beating even faster every time she took a step closer to him.

“This is Kim Seonho Oppa, he played as Dan earlier. He is good right? He said he saw Closer in 2010 when you were in it. Talking about fate huh and now he is in it”

Geunyoung was standing in front of him, looking even more dazzling, mature and beautiful from the last time he saw her.

“It’s nice to finally meet you again Seonho-ssi. It’s been awhile” she offered her hand and he shook it while trying his best to stay calm and to not smile creepily. The moment his hand touched hers, he felt like screaming inside.

“Wait, you guys know each other? How?” Sodam asked in curiosity. Before he could answer Sodam, Geunyoung spoke.

“We had a drink together after my show in 2010, i met him in that Jazz club near this auditorium.”

Seonho was so surprised at her answer, he thought she would pretend to not recognize him and besides, forgetting a face of a stranger after 6 years of not meeting them is understandable for him. Even when that stranger fingered you the first time you met.

“Really? But you guys did not know each other before that? Interesting“ Sodam said as she smiled at both of them cheekily. “Well, you guys should catch up then. I’m gonna talk to Eunseok Oppa for a sec” and so they were left alone.

“You look so handsome Seonho-ssi. I was enjoying your performance earlier. Dan really suits you. Finally I got to see you on stage six years later huh” Geunyoung broke the silence. She was lying when she said he was handsome. She thought he looked so hot the whole time Seonho was acting as Dan on stage, but she could not bring herself to say that. That suit and tie and the way he delivered his lines and acted out Dan’s emotions was so sexy. She could feel herself as Alice as she fell in love with this Dan on stage.

“Thank you. You look-” he took a pause to find the appropriate words, “very pretty tonight. Thanks for coming to our show.”

“When I saw you on stage, I wished I was Alice.”

Seonho could not believe what Geunyoung just said to him. He stared at her in silence, hoping the woman in front of him would say something but she just stood there smiling at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I guess I’ve missed you? Can we talk in private?”

#geunseon #kimseonho #moongeunyoung #geunyoung #kdrama #catchtheghost #fanfics #tvn #tvndrama #au

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theartofbeinganeldar · 4 years

Text

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Prologue

Summary: You're a fantasy-loving, LARPing human from this world, who's the black sheep of society because of your obsession for the unreal and alienation of what's real. When you're in the middle of a LARP battle with some pretty phony boars, you fall out of a tree and bust your head. You wake up, alone, and are suddenly attacked by some very pissed-off, very real wargs. Without any idea of how you got there, you got dropped into Middle-Earth, with only bits and pieces of memories of Tolkien's masterpiece, though your recollection of everything else is perfectly clear. And of all places in Middle-Earth, you got dropped into Mirkwood, with some suspicious, potentially hostile, Woodland Elves...

Chapter No.: Prologue

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color

Notes: So, this is my first fanfiction on tumblr, and I'd thought I'd try it since I have very little time for DeviantArt's chaos. It's much different from my Legolas x Reader on there. I added a small loving family to make the emotions relatable-- even if you don't have siblings, or have more than what I added, it's just fanfiction! Also, I tried to make my pronouns for said reader gender-nuetral so that everybody can enjoy it! The reason your character is so wild is for the sake of not fitting in to this world, yet you're used to it, so that later points in the plot can become more... Well, you'll see. And yes, I made Elves pansexual because I don't think they'd care much about gender or age at that point. LARPing plays a big role in the prologue, because your character is really into it for personal reasons. If this isn't your cup of tea, don't drink it. I hope you like it! Feedback, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused, Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir lives, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

You'd never been considered normal by anyone. You enjoyed LARP instead of reality. Your "job" was just staying at home and captioning videos all day every day you weren't LARPing instead of interacting with society at a normal job. Your home? A tiny studio apartment that only cost $450 a month without bills, and you did without cell phone, car, and electric for the sake of being your weird self. You hadn't been to college yet, despite the fact that everyone told you to go once your gap year was over, and it almost was. What would you even study? Acting was all that got you close to who you were, so, ok, guess that's fine, but nobody else thought of that as a career. Maybe you could write fiction-- you were good at that much.

You weren't always like this. There was a time when you were just a normal kid, living a normal life. But somewhere around ten, you started to change, and by sixteen you'd become who you were today. If the Old You could see the New You, you weren't sure if they'd think you were weird too, or if they'd stare up at you in awe.

Hopefully it was the latter, which made you feel good.

I mean, come on, were you born in the wrong timeframe or what?! That's what you thought, anyway. There's no way that this world was for you. The fact that nearly all people were heartless jackasses that enjoyed destroying the planet, the fact that everybody had to be the same or were considered freaks, prejudice and injustice were key factors of life and the rich got handed everything on a silver platter while the poor had to scavenge... Just, everything of this reality made you hate it. If only you'd been born five hundred years earlier, or, y'know, in Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings...

You'd really liked to have been born in Middle-Earth. You had so many books about it, you knew practically everything there was to know, even the confusing shit about Faramir being in the Fall of Gondolin. You'd practically memorized Elvish, and dwarvish, and you knew the whole six movies by heart, every line. And of course, like most Lord of the Rings fans, you had a massive crush on a certain Elvish princeling who was too pretty for his own good. In fact, Legolas was who inspired you to learn archery; maybe one day you'd be as good as he was.

Despite your wishes, you were stuck in reality, however much you hated it

. Even amongst your LARP groups, you were considered outlandish.

Everybody else had normal lives outside of their games, whereas you pretended this was your life. You didn't have any job aside from the small caption jobs you did when you weren't LARPing, no social life, nothing. The only people you had was your mother, brother, sister, and your only friend, [F/N]. They accepted you and your strange fantasies, even if they thought you'd one day regret acting in a way when you could've been beginning a normal life and being productive.

So excuse you if you decided to invite them to a LARP event and let them borrow some of your costumes. It wasn't the end of the world. But your LARP group apparently didn't get that memo.

"You invited your mom?!" A royal asshole sneered, yet you took satisfaction in the fact that his knight costume looked like it was made of cardboard painted silver, whereas your sci-fi Elf getup was actual leather and cloth. His name was Jacob Brent; you'd never really liked him. He'd always had it out for you because your costumes were so much more fabulous than his. Plus you may or may not have actually known swordplay and archery and dagger throwing and martial arts... Kinda. You were still in the process of learning kickboxing.

You cocked a sky blue-- yes, sky blue-- eyebrow to your equally bright blue hairline, spiked up in a short faux hawk. This was your first sci-fi Elf, and you'd wanted to go all out. A cocky grin split its way across your face. "Yeah, so? It doesn't effect you on any level, Tin Can."

He sniggered with his cronies. "I can't believe you don't have anyone else to come with you." He mimicked rubbing his eyes like he was four. "'Oh Mommy, I need somebody to come with me!'" His whole group burst into laughter.

You surprised them by joining in, actually appluading. "Oh, wow! Wonderful, just wonderful! Hey, should I tell Mindy that I seen you feeling up Roxie behind your fort last week?" He paled, and almost everybody in his group of crappy cosplay got 'o' faces. You put your hands on your hips. "Guess what, asshole, just 'cause I'm close with my family and you're not with yours doesn't make it a crime to hang out with them. It's my life, my decision, and I enjoy spending time with them." You hefted up a disappointingly fake spear, turning to walk away. "Oh, and by the way, your paint's chippin' off."

Reason for Hating Reality Number 6, 965: Immaturity levels are almost incomprehensibly high.

Your mom glared daggers at Jacob's Immaturity Harem. She'd always been a tough gal, always sticking up for you when you got bullied when you were younger, but now that you were an adult, she had to let you kick ass yourself; you were pretty good at it. "I don't like him." She stated casually, and you chuckled.

"'Course you don't. He looks like a cheesy robot costume you'd get from Wal-Mart with a too-big crotch protector that's not impressing anyone but himself, and he has the face of a roasting pig. Too tanned, too grubby, and always with something in his mouth."

She smiled slightly. "Has he always been giving you trouble?"

You swung your gear pack off of your shoulder, letting it yank itself down to earth. "Since the day he tried kissing my ass 'cause he didn't know me." [F/N] must've overheard that last sentence, because he burst into laughter when he approached with your brother, [B/N], and your sister, [S/N]. "You talking about Jacob?"

"Sure as hell."

You'd first met [F/N] a year ago, when you'd joined extra-curricular activites for your last year of high school. He thought your personality was incredibly brave, especially in this modern world, but even still... He was just a friend, not a best friend. You'd never had that luxury outside of your tiny family. You just didn't trust him after the life you'd had.

Unfortunately, it seems they didn't like the getups. "Do I have to wear this?" [B/N] asked dramatically, slumping over. He didn't look right in the pauldrons and leather breastplate.

"It's too heavy!" [S/N] complained.

You sighed theatrically. "My piteous children, deal with thy armor, for it must be worn despite thou complaints."

[B/N] pressed his palms together and bowed down. "Screweth thou, false companion."

You mimicked his bow. "Off to hell with thee."

"Hey! You guys! It's starting!" [F/N] cried, and ran off, his pack of weapons and magic bags trembling dangerously on his back. The rest of you followed more slowly, as you explained to your family how exactly LARPing worked. Battles weren't actually bloody, magic was just colored powder, you get points for a hit, and so on and so forth. [B/N] and [S/N] got it immediately, but your poor mom, who hadn't even ever played Skyrim, had no idea how the point system and leveling up worked. You had to explain it six times over before you'd reached the massive gathering of LARPing cosplayers. [F/N] returned to you as you reached it, carrying a map. "We were in Larsgyushter Prairie last, right?"

"Duh," You shrugged, at the same time [S/N] asked with a grimace, "Luckyestire Prairie?"

[F/N] inclined his head. "Well, I made some arrangements because your family joined us. We made for Glewnburg, where we picked up their characters, and then headed into the Elder Woods."

You took the map. "Sounds fair enough."

[S/N] frowned. "What exactly were you guys doing last time?"

[F/N] blushed; he must've liked her, which made you feel proud and like pummeling him all at once. "A quest to defeat a horde of wildebors in order to get a good amount of gold."

"How much?"

"Four hundred."

Your mom seemed confused. "Is that a lot?"

"For the land of Sisgremor," You retorted, "Not much. But it's enough for us. We hunt for food, and sleep in the woods. It's summertime, so we don't have much need for shelter unless it storms, and we know where to find caves. The coin is for some new bits of armor, and some weapon upgrades and a couple of magic books for [F/N]."

"Oh," Your mom said, and you took the lead, getting into your Elven character with a huge grin on your face.

"Come, my children! We must meet the bors by midday!" You ran off, but you didn't miss the looks over half of the LARP community gave you.

~le time skip~

The one thing you didn't like about LARPing was the enemies. They weren't believable and were crappily dressed, at least in your community. They were crappy actors and their dying acts were unrealistic. Unless they were orcs that had good makeup skills and good cosplay, they weren't worth fighting, but you had an imagination to kick them up a notch.

As always, the wildebors were just some guys in black outfits decorated with needles, and wearing pig masks with an underbite bearing tusks. Your imagination knocked them to eight-feet long beasts with bloodstained tusks, wild red eyes, and porcupine-like needles that shot out of their near-impenetrable hides if provoked.

You'd only fought these beasts once. They had three separate healthbars, each a different strength: eight hundred, four hundred, and one hundred. Your spear-- the only weapon you could afford after your bow snapped (Poor prop craftsmanship.), had a damage rate of ten health per hit, thirty if you could make a three-combo move (The highest combo move allowed.). [F/N]'s magic bombs, bolts of energy, and other magic stuff only varied from ten to fifty health damage per hit, except for his Fyrering, which was a once-a-day power that was ninety health damage, plus a three minute window of burning which took ten damage every thirty seconds.

The boars were also viscious; one hit from them took around fifty health, and at level nine, you and [F/N]'s health bars were only at two hundred and fifty, plus your armor rating of fifty and his of twenty. Your family, however, were only at level one, with a one hundred strength health bar each and armor ratings varying between ten and fifteen.

In short: that meant a hell of a lot of hits, very little openings, and there were always numbers to consider. There were six of them, and five of you. If you had your bow, this would be easy. You'd climb a tree, avoid their needles, and fire your twenty-five damage arrows relentlessly (With the thirty plus bonus from your actual bow.) while [F/N] pelted them with magic. You could take down two, maybe three that way before retreating, waiting for your strength to regenerate and your undamaged arrows to "respawn" before coming back for more battling (The arrows don't actually exist, for safety reasons. You had to wait for ten minutes before an approximated number of arrows, determined previously by the quest-giver, "reappeared" in your "inventory.").

But you had to think of a new plan. A brand new plan. You had three level one novices, two level nine intermediates, and six angry-as-hell wildebors that were level twenty. This was an impossible quest. You should never have accepted it knowing your family was coming.

You were hiding behind a huge oak, and glanced around it; for a split moment, you saw the crappy actors, but your mind quickly fixed that. Above and to your immediate right, [F/N] hid behind a mound of boulders up on a hill, and you'd positioned your family similarly. You just couldn't see them. [F/N]'s hand waving caught your attention. Frantically, he pointed above you. You whipped your head up, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. You gave him a look like WTF dude, and he rolled his eyes. He picked up a rock as an example and pointed back up into the branches, but still, you didn't see anything. He gestured again, almost forcefully, and this time, you seen it: brightnuts, a specialized kind of walnut bred specifically to explode into a bright white light on impact, with dangerous shrapnel and poisonous fumes that had one hundred and fifty health damage.

Of course, in reality, they were just blue and white beanbags hanging in nets rigged all over the branches, but you pretended they weren't.

But still, perfect.

You'd start calling out orders as soon as you started throwing them. [F/N] knew how to improvise to a plan already, but your family didn't. You propped your spear up on the tree, and started climbing, wincing when the bark scraped your palms; you were wearing what'd used to be white bridal gloves, but you'd tinkered with them to match your costume, sewing sky blue patterns into the gloves.

You personally didn't make a sound, but a couple of leaf-covered branches fell; luckily, wildebors were mostly deaf and blind, so you should make it to the top of the tree without any consequences.

You flashed [F/N] a triumphant smile when you reached the topmost branches, snatching a bag of brightnuts and holding them high above your head. He shot you a double thumbs-up, then made a wheel-like gesture to get you to move on. You stuck your tongue out at him, then readjusted yourself on the branch to get a good aim.

A few seconds of struggling against the knot, and you'd gotten the net open. With barely a minute of hesitation, you drew your arm back, and fired. Your aim was almost perfect. You hit one of the wildebors in the side, and you seen the actor as he started the most over-acted reaction you'd seen yet: a violent jump, then what sounded like a deranged "Guuuugh!" You rolled your eyes. So dramatic.

Either way, [F/N] whooped behind you. "Hit! A hit!"

Before you could give any orders whatsoever, [B/N] charged down the hill with his realistic-looking wooden battleaxe bellowing a war cry. You slumped over. "Aw, shit."

In the blink of an eye, [B/N] was officially dead but still pummeling the poor actors, your mom didn't know what to do, [F/N] didn't realize what was happening from behind his rock, and [S/N] was dodging air like a boss. You waited on the branch until the coach of the actors stood, took off his mask, and blew his whistle.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You with the axe! You died already! Come on everybody, regroup, come on..." Your mom and [S/N] were laughing it off with a couple of the actors, but [B/N] was having a heated argument with the rest of them, and they were starting to shove each other around; he'd always been a sore loser. The coach separated them, and [F/N] called to you from below. "Guess we failed this quest, huh?"

You shrugged. "It's all good. There are other, less dangerous quests."

He perked up. "Yeah, so hurry up and get down here! We've gotta get back to Glewnburg!"

You tossed the beanbag you'd had in your hand back into the net. "Comin'." Unfortunately for you, you were a bit of a show-off. You stood, stretching your arms out for balance, walking quickly and carefully across the bough. A loud snap that echoed through the forest silenced everyone: your sudden movements had weakened the branch down the middle, where a split was slowly cracking open.

"Oh shit." Did I have to choose the top branch?

Everything seemed to be in slow motion as you fell. Your ribs exploded with pain as you slammed into a slightly lower branch full-force. Your ankle snapped. Your arms were whipped and bruised. Your head cracked painfully across the thick, unmoveable base of one branch, and white and yellow dots burst in your vision. Your sight started to fade, as did the pain, until you met the ground with a dull thud.

I should've went to college.

~time skip~

When you woke up, the first thing you realized was, Hey, I woke up! I'm alive! which was immediately followed by, Holy fucking shit what the fucking hell did I break, then a much more painful thought of Why the fuck am I still in the goddamn forest?

And you were. You were laying on your side, in a couple of very small but still immensely terrifying pools of drying blood, one of which came from the corner of your mouth. Your entire body throbbed painfully. Every breath you took caused sharp, white-hot pains to spiderweb across your entire torso. Your ankle was burning up, and you couldn't move it or your left arm. Your head felt like you'd been hit by a truck. A truck made of solid wood...

Why were you still in the forest? You knew your mother well enough to know that she've panicked. She'd've screamed your name and ran to you and called 911 immediately. [F/N] would've done the same. In fact, there was no reason why they wouldn't have called for a medic. You fell from the equivalent of a three-story building with poles sticking out of it.

By all accounts, you should be near death.

So why were you still in the forest, exactly where you'd fell?

With immense effort, you rolled onto your back, panting heavily and wincing against the pain. Your vision swam, and things were blurry. The trees were different; the tree where you'd fallen from was tall and branchless for most of the way up, and definitely not an oak. To boot, there weren't any nets full of beanbags, and your spear was gone. Behind you was a cliff with an outcropping of rock that looked similar-- but not the same-- to the one [F/N] had been behind. There were roots and underbrush and bushes and walls of thorny branches surrounding you, and in between the ground was filled of orange and gold fallen leaves; up in the canopy, which hadn't been as thick before, the leaves were all dressed for Fall. You stared at it in confusion. "What the hell?" Shit. Even that hurt.

Where were you? Why weren't you in an ambulance with the sirens blaring? You were pretty positive you'd broken quite a few bones, and from that fall, you couldn't not have internal bleeding. So where were you?

You waited, but no one came. When the sky started to darken and the pain began to worsen, you were forced to move, slowly getting up, inch by inch, until you'd managed to be in a sitting position. It felt like all the blood rushed from your head and torso, making you cold in the evening chill. You hugged your right arm to your chest, really wishing you'd've worn arm cuffs or something; your short, high-collared, sleeveless, sky-blue leather jacket over a thin white crop top and a black corset-style belt really weren't meant for chilly weather.

"Hello?" You called out. Your voice carried on, but you got no return call. Blood trickled down your chin from where your lips had rebusted; you were lucky you hadn't bit your tongue off or shattered teeth. "Hey! Help!" Still, nothing. "Hey!"

After a twenty-minute bout of screaming for help, you gave up. You were confused-- so, so, confused. Where were you and why were you here? Where was your family? Where was [F/N]? Where was the coach, and those shitty actors? Hell, where was the rest of the LARP group? You'd even be relieved if Jacob appeared out of nowhere.

The moon had risen by the time you’d made it to your feet. Your ankle wasn't as bad as it was earlier; you could put some weight on it now, even if it wasn't a lot. You must've only sprained it. You tried calling for help a few more times, but only the crickets replied.

Then, they went silent.

You frowned. In books and movies, that was usually a bad sign. What'd caused them to shut up so abruptly? Not aliens, you hoped, like in Signs.

A low growl from behind you-- behind you, dammit-- made your skin crawl. A chill ran down your spine. You turned, slowly, hoping you wouldn't aggravate the wolf or coywolf or whatever it was; it wasn't either of those.

It stood on top of the small cliff, and it was at least the size of a horse. A boar-like coat, dull brown, covered its entire body, spotted in places. Its head was broad and massive, bearing an underbite of fangs and small beady eyes. Drool fell from its jaws as it snarled at you. You were half tempted to try the "Nice doggie" before you seen the rider.

Damn, it was ugly as hell. Small, malformed, with dark green skin and a crooked nose. Greasy, thin hair hung from its wrinkled scalp. Nasty claws protruded from its wart-covered fingers and dug into the horn of some kind of saddle. It sneered with an evil grin, and a mouthful of sharp teeth.

You didn't know what else to do; you took off running at full speed, ignoring the pains shooting up your leg from your sprained ankle. Branches and weeds whipped your skin, trailing blood. You glanced back once. The monster-- which you knew was an orc-- and the giant dog that you couldn't place the name of watched you for a couple of moments more before the orc gave a sharp order in a language you didn't understand, but it felt familiar. Two more of the giant dogs burst from the bushes on either side of the first, and they did give chase. Shit, were they what'd happened to your family? Some whackjob dressed as an orc riding a pitbull on steroids mauled everybody?!

You pushed yourself to run faster. Your heart pounded in your ears. Adrenaline rushed through your veins. Each step jarred your aching body, but you couldn't stop. The dogs were enjoying the chase, keeping their strides slow enough to still be on your heels, but not close enough to get you yet. A new sound-- a river, maybe-- gave you hope, and you tried to move even faster, your lungs burning from the strain.

It was a river you'd heard, but it was down a steep hill filled of arching roots and thorny bushes. You didn't have time to stop; you barreled forward, tripped, and rolled the rest of the way, hurting your body even further. By the time you reached the pebbly shore (With all of the sharp edges of the rocks jabbing into you unnecessarily.), the dogs were halfway down, the orcs riding them laughing like hyenas.

You couldn't swim, but you'd rather take your chances with the river than with the giant pitbulls. You waded in, and were immediately swept off your feet by the strong current. It dragged you under, and you were bashed into some boulders, getting cut up badly. One slammed into your hip, nearly causing you to suck in. Another rammed into your already-broken ribs, and this time, you did scream, getting a huge gulp of water. A crimson cloud engulfed you as something long and sharp burst through your calf. You were pushed up against another boulder, and you grabbed on, hauling yourself out of the water and hanging on for dear life, hacking and coughing out the water that'd filled your lungs.

The dogs had chased you up the shoreline, and the orcs carried shortbows with arrows of dark wood. A glance down and, sure as fuck, they'd hit you with one in the calf, dammit. You looked ahead of you: rapids, a slow and drawn-out death. Ahead of you, probably a very painful death, but hopefully it'd go faster than drowning while being battered to a lifeless corpse.

I should've gone to college.

You squeezed your eyes shut tight and braced yourself for the next arrow, but you were pretty much forced to open them again when you heard the sound of dogs yelping and orcs wailing. One of the dogs was dead, neck slashed open and pouring blood onto the rocks. It had landed on its rider, who struggled beneath its weight. The other dog had taken off, but its rider had an arrow jutting out of its face.

A troop of warriors, clad in forest-colored tunics of dark browns, greens, and grays had appeared in the second you'd closed your eyes. Every one of them had long, straight hair, braided away from their faces. Most had a quiver of arrows and a longbow, but some, like the one who'd killed the dog, had a curved longsword. Others still had long knives. Compared to the dark orcs, these people seemed to almost be made of light...

Oh shit.

Elves. These were Elves.You could see it clearly now, in the way they carried themselves: regal, majestic, every move perfectly balanced and smooth. Their ears were pointed, but not drastically like the ones from Zelda, and they were taller than most average men. You were in awe.

These were some damn good actors.

No, they couldn't be actors. That clicked, finally. Especially when you were able to see the one that'd killed the dog slice off the struggling orc's head cleanly and deftly before kicking it into the river. Thankfully, it didn't come near you.

Shit. These were real orcs, real giant bloodthirsty dogs, real Elves... This was all real. But how...?

You heard the sound of a bowstring being pulled taut, much closer to you. You couldn't exactly whip around in your current state, but you still moved as fast as you could. Another Elf, standing on the flat rocks halfway across the river, no less than thirty feet away. How the hell did he get there?!

After the initial shock passed, you realized there was an arrow nocked in the bow. You'd already felt one once in the last ten minutes, you didn't need to feel it again, so you stayed still. He watched you with eyes so blue you could see them from where you were. He was illuminated from the side by the moon, giving him an almost ethereal appearance. His hair was somewhere between platinum and very light blonde, and a quiver of orange-feathered arrows hung over two identical sheaths for ivory-handled long knives. His bow was almost as gorgeous as he was: dark wood engraved with golden leaf designs. His tunic was dark green, and you admired his fancy Elven belts and buckles and bracers for a second before your eyes were drawn back to his face, the profile of which was almost... Dished, in a way, like an Arabian horse's. Your eyes locked, and you felt as if you'd seen him somewhere before...

An Elf on the shoreline spoke, breaking the trance. You couldn't understand what exactly he said; you could've swore you knew some Elvish...

The Elf staring you down watched you for a minute longer, then jerked his bow toward you in gesture, shouting an order to one of his comrades. His voice sounded so familiar... It was on the tip of your brain... It was deep and soft and gentle and commanding all at once. You couldn't explain it. Two Elves followed his order, nimbly leaping from tiny rock to tiny rock to get to where he was, then past him, coming to you. Their weapons were sheathed, so you hoped they were going to help you instead of kicking you into the water or something.

Carefully, noticing how banged up you were, they grabbed you underneath of the arms and lifted you onto the flat rocks the blue-eyed Elf stood on, still ready to fire, and stepped back as you coughed up some water in a delayed reaction to nearly drowning.

When you finished, your eyes felt like they wanted to close on their own. You felt too tired, too weak, too pained... Despite that, you sat up, shivering in the chilly evening air. "Th-thank you..." With a start, you realized they might not even understand English.

"Who are you?" The blue-eyed Elf demanded. "Answer me quickly; do not think we cannot throw you back to the river."

Shit. Pressure. Suddenly you forgot your name for a split second. "I-I'm [Y/N]."

"What are you doing in these lands?"

"I was chased," You looked pointedly at the dog and orc.

The Elf watched you for a minute, judging you... He signaled. "Throw them back into the river." Suddenly, you were being dragged.

Aw, fuck. You struggled against the Elf's strong grips. "W-wait! I don't even know where I am! The last thing I knew I was playing a game with my family and I fell out of a tree! All of a sudden I'm being chased by giant dogs and being manhandled by a couple of Elvish pri--!" You were cut off by a bought of coughing that wracked your body so hard that you doubled in on yourself, pulling the Elves down with you. Your eyes widened when blood trickled out of your mouth, leaving crimson droplets on the rocks. Shit.

The blue-eyed Elf ordered something in their tongue, and the two dragging you halted on a dime. He finally decided to lower his bow a little, inspecting you. "Are there more of you?"

You shook your head; you were getting dizzy, and your vision was blacking out. "I-I don't know... I was alone when I woke up."

The Elves conversed in their own language for a few minutes, and the blue-eyed Elf finally came to the conclusion that you weren't much of a threat in your current state. He looked to the Elves on the shoreline, and gestured at one of the ones holding you, who then scooped you up bridal style, but like you were the ugliest bride he'd ever seen. "Und win'doheim!" Shouted the blue-eyed Elf, obviously the one in charge, and lead the progression back to the forest.

I should never have gotten out of bed today...

Despite the crazy situation, you managed to doze off a few times on the Elf that carried you, until a coughing fit or pain would wake you up. A fever spiked up as you crossed a bridge, and you were half out of it as you entered some kind of woody building surrounded by trees and rivers that you couldn't comprehend very well in your feverish state. You were panting and wheezing, and couldn't see straight. It all seemed so surreal, like you were viewing this from somebody else's perspective. This had to be a dream... A very vivid, very painful dream...

The last thing you remembered was Elvish chanting, golden and white lights surrounding you, and the silhouettes of the Elves. Your pain faded, and you fell into a forced sleep.

When you woke up, a breath of relief whooshed out of your lungs. It was a dream! It was all a dream! It was night, and your nighlight had gone out, but your hall light was still on. You turned over to see what time it was, but your nightstand was gone. So was your window, and shelves and desk and computer and all of your things. Your bed was different. Your relief dissipated to terror.

Fuck. It wasn't a dream.

You were in a small room. An orange-hued light came through the low doorway, and the dark walls were ridged, as if carved from the earth itself. You felt the remains of your injuries from earlier-- or days ago, you couldn't tell how much time had passed-- as throbbing remains. Your clothes were still ripped and bloodstained, and as you stood up, it felt like you were just coming off of the flu.

Wobbly, you staggered over to the doorway, hoping to find somebody that definitely wasn't an orc or Elf.

You slammed face-first into elaborately crafted iron bars.

Outside of them, fully-armored Elves patrolled on small ledges beside the spiraling rows upon rows of cells like yours. This was a dungeon.

...Well shit.

Tag List: @tesserphantom @thedragonghostofmordor @taurlel @hauntedsiriel

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nadziejastar · 4 years

Note

I find reading headcanons fun and a lot of people interested in Lea and Isa who want to stay canon compatible go with the idea of "they were technically apprentices, but they were still used as test subjects." It just goes to show how important those implications were to their story, anyone invested is looking for a way to retcon them back in.

Yeah, I get why people wanna stick close to canon. I like to stay as close to canon as possible too, unless I feel like canon just absolutely dropped the ball, which is relatively rare. But that’s what I feel KH3 did with Lea and Isa. There were just FAR too many implications that they were test subjects to be hand-waved away so easily. I can totally understand why people are looking for a way to retcon those implications back in. They fit soooo perfectly and they were MUCH juicier than the canon backstory, which is really very boring.

Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the “darkness of the heart.”

I wouldn’t even know HOW to write Axel as a former apprentice, without being a former test subject, too. Because it just doesn’t fit him. You have to ignore everything interesting about him and change his whole character. When I first played KH2, I was always interested in the experiments on the darkness of the heart and especially what the organization members were like as humans. We only got to know a little about that. We learned that members I-VI were apprentices of Ansem the Wise, which I thought was very intriguing. I started to speculate about what the other members’ backstories might be.

Are they the people who lost their hearts, or incarnations of darkness? Or something entirely beyond my imagination? All my knowledge has provided no answer. One thing I am sure of is that they are entirely devoid of emotion. Perhaps further study will unlock the mysteries of the heart. Fortunately, there is no shortage of test samples. They are multiplying underground even as I write this report. They still need a name. Those who lack hearts… I will call them the Heartless.

I am not even exaggerating, after reading the KH2 Ansem Reports, my first thought was that Axel was most likely a former test subject, due to the way he slaughtered Zexion and Vexen so mercilessly. He had a side to him that was rather…twisted. And I thought that was so fascinating. No way in hell do I believe he acted like that because he was trying to find some girl. No. He had a HUGE grudge against the organization which was very personal.

The only other organization member I thought might have been a former test subject was Saïx. Number VII. The first one to join after the apprentices.

And the reasons for that were obvious. He was freakish, like a science experiment. He was a werewolf/vampire type character with a large scar on his face. I have talked with people online about Axel’s apprentice backstory who said that they “saw it coming”. It was foreshadowed in advance. And I’m like, “Did we play the same games?” If anyone says that they thought Axel and Saïx made more sense as apprentices than test subjects, I simply do not believe them. I think they are either lying or they are such a fanboy/fangirl that they cannot bring themselves to question canon.

THIS is what always stood out to me about Axel in Days. He said very little about himself. It seems like most of the fandom latched onto Axel as this happy-go-lucky big brother figure who “adopts” Roxas and Xion and that was the extent of his character. Personally, I was always far more interested in Axel’s past. That’s what really made him an interesting character. Without that, he’s a bit flat, honestly.

When I played Days, it seemed to confirm my suspicions that Axel had a dark past.

The way the camera zoomed in on him when he mentioned his past said SO much. It was so subtle, but so dramatic. They obviously were hinting at something.

And it even involved Saïx, too. They really were BOTH test subjects. How fascinating, I thought.

Then I played BBS, and it showed them sneaking into the freaking castle! I was so excited! OBVIOUSLY these kids were experimented on. They were in the right place at the right time. It explains why they became organization members. It explains why Saïx is so…freakish even though when he was a kid he was so cute and normal. I mean, come on!!!! How could anyone not see what they were hinting at here? I was SO SO excited for TEN years to see their backstory.

When I played KH3, I was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. Turns out Lea and Isa were connected to the experiments on the darkness of the heart (duh). But they weren’t the test subjects. It was Skuld. Ya know, that random NPC from KHUX? That’s right. Skuld.

…

Skuld!? Are you freaking kidding me!? All the spotlight is gonna be on her as the lab rat!? After all the subtle hints that Lea and Isa were experimented on? I felt like I had been led on and betrayed by the series. I was so sad and angry. KH has a lot of, well, bullshit in it. Like Ansem the Wise turning Kingdom Hearts into data and releasing everyone’s hearts. And it has a lot of retcons. It’s a series where “willing suspension of disbelief” is important. But what they did to Lea and Isa’s past? That crossed the line for me. That was unacceptable. And my willing suspension of disbelief was shattered. I simply cannot retroactively view Lea and Isa as apprentices. It just doesn’t fit with what we saw of them. It’s the worst, most ill-fitting backstory I have ever seen.

Lea’s whole character revolved around his mysterious past. And in the end, his whole past was summarized in a two minute cutscene where we were TOLD (not even shown) it. And his past isn’t even about him or his relationship with Isa or their shared pain. It’s all about setting up a plot for a character who, IMO, is supposed to be dead.

Yes, that’s right. Dead. IMO, Skuld and Ephemer and everybody else from the age of fairytales were supposed to be dead. The final world is like limbo where people with lingering regrets cannot move on to the afterlife. Sora wound up there, probably because the spirits drew him there. But he wasn’t dead. He could come back with the power of waking because his body was still alive. Demon Tide doesn’t kill your body.

But yeah, as far as I’m concerned, everyone else from the age of fairy tales is DEAD. KHUX wasn’t supposed to monopolize KH3′s plot the way it did. It wasn’t supposed to be that important. IMO, The main role of KHUX was to provide history to the Keyblade War and MX’s Keyblade. You would have the scene where the Keyblades come to life and take out the Demon Tide. It’s a nice little cameo to people who played KHUX, but nothing essential. Then, the hearts of the dead are finally at peace and they can pass on. The end. Their role is done. They weren’t supposed to come back! It’s stupid! Leave characters like a Ephemer and Skuld in the past where they belong!

Xaldin: It’s an order. Why do you hesitate? You, who has been ruthless towards those who’ve turned their backs on the Organization?

If you take away Axel’s past a former test subject and give it to Skuld, you change the very nature of his character. Look how KH3 downplayed Axel’s dark and ruthless side by making it seem like Saïx was the only one willing to get his hands dirty. Axel was apparently some perfect angel who was just innocently trying to find info on Subject X the whole time. Not, ya know, ruthlessly executing people. No! No, no no!

Don’t pretend like Axel was not a fucked up killer. He was almost as twisted as Saïx was. Not quite. But almost. Of course, I guess I understand why they downplayed this side of him. It really doesn’t make much sense for Axel to spend a decade ruthlessly killing people just to find a complete stranger who may or may not even be alive, does it? It would make a lot more sense if he was doing it because he was experimented on and his best friend was being held hostage by the organization.

But Axel being a fucked up killer was the very foundation of his excellent character arc. Why did he change and join the good side? It wasn’t because he became friends with Roxas or Xion. It’s because he became disgusted with himself. He was disgusted with himself after he killed Vexen and Sora was horrified at how much pleasure he got from it.

He was disgusted with himself when he saw Xion’s face for the first time and saw that she looked just like Namine. He was willing to slaughter Namine without a second thought in Castle Oblivion. But here was a girl who looked just like her, innocently asking to be his friend.

“You didn’t have to use force…”

Axel sighed theatrically and circled his shoulders. “Didn’t I?”

Still gripping Axel’s collar, Roxas shook his head with the emphatic refusal of a little kid. “No, you didn’t…” But he sounded uncertain as he said it, and his voice shrank even more. “We’re supposed to be best friends.”

Axel brushed Roxas’s hands from his collar. “This isn’t about friendship.”

Roxas raised his head. The glare in his blue eyes was sharp as a knife.

Axel had never seen that from him before. His chest twinged, just a bit. He let out another sigh. “Listen, if that’s all, I gotta go.”

Roxas wilted again, and something in his expression weakened Axel’s resolve slightly.

I just did what I thought was the best thing at the time. For Roxas, for Xion, for the Organization—and for Isa. But most of all for me.

He turned away from Roxas and made himself walk away.

He was disgusted with himself when he attacked Xion and brought her back to be destroyed. Why was Axel so upset with Saïx at the end of Days? Because he threw his morality away for him! Axel was willing to do anything for him. He was willing to kill innocent kids like Namine and Xion all for his sake. And at the end of the story Axel realized that Saïx didn’t even really love him anymore. Axel was more than happy to kill anyone if he thought Isa still loved him and appreciated the sacrifices he made for him.

He had been using the Organization for his own ends from the start. The only thing that had changed in the meantime was who it was all for. Maybe Saïx would call that a betrayal. But his world had changed.

But Axel realized that Saïx just used him as a murder tool to take out anyone who got in his way. He wasn’t even worried about him when he was at Castle Oblivion nor did he thank him when he returned. He took advantage of Axel’s devotion to him. That’s why Axel changed. It wasn’t like a My Little Pony episode where the power of Roxas and Xion’s magical friendship changed Axel. It was Axel’s own conscience. And yet, Axel still couldn’t bring himself to leave with Roxas at the end of Days. Even after Roxas left him the “Winner” stick. Because he was still attached to Saïx.

Axel: Look at what it’s come to. I’ve been given these icky orders to destroy you—if you refuse to come back with me.

Roxas: We’re…best friends, right?

Axel: Sure…but I’m not getting turned into a Dusk for…Wait a sec! You remember now!?

Roxas: Y…eah.

And Axel being a human test subject also seemed like the most reasonable backstory for him due to the way he seemed so…maladjusted. I was only 16 when I first played KH2. I was the same age as Roxas. And even then, the way Axel related to Roxas made me think that he had a really fucked up childhood. At first, Axel was willing to destroy Roxas, too. His “best friend”. In the original KH2, he seemed like he was just following orders because he was afraid of being turned into a Dusk. Which is still pretty screwed up.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saix finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. Cause I’m tough.” Axel puffed out his chest.

“How stupid,” said Saix, and for a moment he smiled. “Let’s hurry up and prepare. Time is limited. The hero will wake up soon, too. I’ll send you in right in front of Roxas.”

“Okay.” Axel stood in front of the sending device. Saix rested his finger on the button. “I’m off the~n!” Waving to Saix, Axel’s figure disappeared.

But in the “Axel 7 Days” novel, you see that IMMEDIATELY before confronting Roxas about destroying him, Axel was looking at the white envelope and then flirted with Saïx. I hate the way the Axel/Roxas relationship was so misunderstood by the fandom. Why did Axel decide not to kill Roxas? IMO, it wasn’t because they were “best friends”.

It was because, once again, Axel was like “WTF am I doing? I’m trying to kill this innocent kid all so I can salvage my relationship with Saïx. I am a selfish piece of shit.” Why did Axel say that Roxas would have a next life, but not him? Because Axel knew what he was capable of and was prepared to do to him. Roxas was innocent. Axel was not. He had a lot of blood on his hands. He was not like Roxas. Roxas’s innocence is why Axel was so attached to him in the first place. But it was exactly why Roxas could never truly understand him. There will always be a part of Axel that he keeps hidden from Roxas.

On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.”

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

Even after he left the organization, Axel was still twisted. He was going to kill Kairi. And notice how it zoomed in on his tear mark. A bit of a hint about the true meaning of the upside down tears. IMO, the tears meant that Axel was willing to do absolutely anything to make his wish come true. And that was to be with his best friend forever. Saïx betrayed him and broke his heart. Axel decided to channel all of that grief and despair into his relationship with Roxas. He was now willing to kill innocent kids for his new best friend in order to forget about the old one. He was still selfish.

He only started to doubt himself when Kairi empathized with him.

And then he felt like shit and was disgusted with himself again. That was the last straw. Axel really doesn’t work as a character without a horrific backstory or being a killer. He just doesn’t. Being a twisted killer was fundamental to his story. And being a test subject was really the only things that could have made Saïx more sympathetic and redeemable.

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stuffdealwithit · 4 years

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Wiz “Hex” Headcanons

Ah, wiz hex... you either love it or hate it. And when you’ve been playing this hell hole of a game since it first came out, you come up with some weird concepts. Because some people absolutely hate the concept of wiz hex, I will put a “continue reading” cut as to not burn your eyes. But, if you are over 18 and are willing to view some weird stuff, then feel free to continue on!

Word count - 1,257

Created by @stuffdealwithit and an anonymous friend! <3

Fire - Wizards and witches from the school of fire are aggressive romantics. They love their partners openly and passionately, which mirrors how they treat their partners in bed. If a fire wizard or witch is single, they will usually sleep with the same person for a few times before moving on to a new person. Fire wizards love temperature play (no surprise there). The heat, sweat, and the sound of their partner panting in pure ecstasy gets fire wizards all riled up. They love to see their partners squirm and moan in pleasure as they react to the warmth the fire wizards give off. One downside is that when fire wizards orgasm, they lose control of how hot they are, which leads to their partners coming out with a few minor burns.

Ice – Ice wizards, like fire wizards, are romantics and are into temperature play. The difference between these two schools is that ice wizards are more shy and show love to their partners in a move gentile and intimate way. Ice wizards usually do not like to have multiple sexual partners since they enjoy having a relationship that is based more on one’s natural self. Ice wizards understand that feeling freezing cold while having sex is not the best feeling in the world. Therefore, they opt out for a light, icy tingle around their partner’s sensitive areas (I.e. nipples, thighs, lips, etc) Ice wizards have more control over their orgasms than fire wizards, which usually leaves their partner with a cool (no pun intended) experience without any harm!

Storm – Storm wizards are a bit unpredictable. Most storm wizards are into the BDSM scene. They usually prefer to play the dominant role in a sexual relationship! Storm wizards are given a bad rep for being “mean” and “rude”, but that is not always true when it comes to choosing a sexual partner. Storm wizards love to have sex with people they’ve known for a while and have a good connection with. It’s rare that you’ll find a storm wizard at a bar late at night looking for a steamy one-night stand. They prefer to share their bodies with people who won’t kiss-n-tell. When storm wizards orgasm, be prepared to feel a few tingly shocks travel throughout your entire body, making the hair on the back of your neck stand erect. Storm wizards do tend to move relatively quickly between sexual partners, which makes their pool of sexual partners a little bit larger than the average wizard.

Death – Death wizards are the most versatile when it comes to intimacy and sex. Death wizards and witches do tend to dabble more in the BDSM scene, however, and tend to show a liking towards light pain in sexual situations. Death wizards relate the feeling of lustful pain of being alive, and reminds themselves that life is not permanent and to savor every feeling they receive. A Death wizard’s sex life will differ from one individual to the next. Some Death wizards enjoy living their life with a plethora of sexual partners, while other prefer to have only a few. Some Death wizards, to many peoples’ surprise, do not desire any sexual encounters at all! Some Death wizards are soft and sweet in bed while others are rough and aggressive. It all depends on the individual. One thing that all Death wizards and witches have in common in what happens when they orgasm. When they orgasm, they can feel an icy electric energy rush out of them from their core into their partner. Many would describe it as the feeling of life being drained out of them and into their partner.

Life – Life wizards, like Death wizards, are very versatile when it comes to sex. Life wizards are people pleasers! They love to satisfy their partners and make them feel special and loved. Life wizards tend to dabble in just about anything as long as it won’t cause damage to either party. Life wizards are more open to having sex than the majority of wizards from other schools, however, just like Death wizards, some desire a tame sexual lifestyle and others do not desire sex at all. At a bar setting, you’ll most likely find a life wizard engaging in conversation with many other wizards. They are like a social magnet. When life wizards have sex, they tend to favor a more romantic setting with bodies being close to each other, whispering words of encouragement into their partner’s ear, and just savoring the moment. When Life wizards orgasm, both they and their partner can feel a tingly explosion deep in their core. It is almost impossible to explain how blissful the orgasm feels for the Life wizard and their partner. It is like a mixture of butterflies being released inside their core and the feeling of witnessing a breathtaking sunset while holding hands with your beloved. When sex is over for the life wizard, they feel refreshed, almost as if they have been reborn again.

Myth – Myth wizards are vert straight foreword with their desires. Wizards and witches from the school of Myth are very theatrical people, which mimics how they perform in bed, they love to be attended to and they love to woo their partners at the same time. The Myth’s wizard’s love for the dramatic makes their kinks and sexual desires very widespread. The most common kinks amongst Myth wizards are roleplaying and BDSM. Myth wizards are not usually found at bars, although you might run into a few looking for a quickie. Myth wizards will most likely be found at a club with exotic dancers. The sexual beauty that those clubs provide are right up Myth wizards’ alley. Myth wizards are usually viewed as one of the biggest sexual “freaks”. They’re notorious for being the wildest of the schools while having sex. Rough and aggressive is how the majority of Myth wizards prefer their sex. They like to mark their “territory” and give and receive as many orgasms as they possibly can. When a Myth wizard orgasms, they feel an animalistic side of them pry at their core, begging to be released.

Balance – Balance wizards are very secretive about their sex life, they enjoy being mysterious to outsiders. Balance wizards tend to be the least sexually active out of all the schools because they tend to enjoy taking in the world as a whole, and not take in a single individual for two to ten minutes of sexual intercourse. Very few balance wizards will be found at bars, and if you do find one, they will most likely be there to hang out with their friends from other schools. That being said, there are quite a few balance wizards to do enjoy incorporating sex into their lives. Balance wizards and witches who do enjoy sex in their daily lives tend to not be as adventurous as the other schools. Balance wizards love sex as it “naturally” occurs in nature. Some people would label that as being “vanilla”, which is not a bad thing. It is what the balance wizards are most comfortable with. Like all the other schools, there are some Balance wizards and witches who are more sexually adventurous and enjoy teasing or dom/sub play. When Balance wizard orgasms, they feel a special connection with the universe for a few moments. Almost as if they have been realigned with their inner self and centered with the universe. A balance wizard’s orgasms almost feel like completing a puzzle that one has been working on for weeks.

#Wizard101 #W101 #W101 fandom #Wizzy #Wizzy101 #Wizzy101 Fandom #Merle Ambrose #Fire school #Ice school #Storm school #Death school #Life school #Myth school #Balance school #Wizard101 memes #wizzy meme #W101 memes

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fullstop-official · 5 years

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A Hellish Freak Disaster with Burning Rubble and No Survivors

AKA: Chapter One - July 18

In three days, everything will change.

But right now, Travis Longfield is swatting his free hand at my shoulder as punishment for having my feet up on the space above the glovebox in the Gator – his Wrangler nicknamed aptly for its military-appropriate paint job. I have to laugh a little at his feeble attempt to keep straight on the road and hit me at the same time, more to mock him than anything else. But I finally give in and give up my recline before he takes his chance at the next stop sign to go for the ankles.

“You care about this thing too much, dude,” I tease, “I’m not allowed to sit comfortably – Jesus, I can’t even eat in here!”

“Do you want her to end up like Cole’s car?” The Gator, of course, has always been a her. “He wrecked that Cherokee. It can’t be saved. They should write it off for internal damage.”

“Yeah, okay. Sorry I upset your girlfriend here. I won’t dirty her up.”

“I’m not really worried about that,” he says with a smirk. “You’re not even the one dirtying up your own girlfriend.”

His comment makes my mood immediately plummet, and, as we pull into the Mechis’ driveway behind a sleek, black Lexus, my mood suddenly becomes a satellite that drops from the stratosphere, falling down, down, down toward the earth at thousands of miles per hour and on fire. Travis parks the Gator and we both climb out. He takes a moment to pull his guitar case from the back seat before we go about picking our way around the aforementioned Lexus and Cole’s hopelessly-stained, wrapper-littered Grand Cherokee to reach the side door to the garage.

We enter, and we’re the last two to arrive. Cole is sprawled out on the duct-taped loveseat by the wall that’s way too tiny to fit all of him. He looks over and his shaggy and badly-highlighted hair flips naturally as his head turns. Still, our appearance isn’t enough to steal his attention away from loudly strumming a progression of power chords on his guitar in order to mess with Matt. Matt is attempting to tune his bass on the other side of the room in spite of the noise, but probably isn’t having an easy time without anything that resembles quiet. Bryson is on the beat-up couch opposite of Cole, scribbling in a binder that’s full of schedules, sets, general to-do lists, and other notes that he says are necessary and need to be kept – though the entire thing is so crammed with papers that it will explode one day.

My satellite mood fails to brace for impact and crashes against the ground, colliding in a hellish, freak disaster with burning rubble and no survivors when I see the Lexus’ owner practicing the screeches that she calls “vocal warmups” by her mic stand, front and center. Saying she’s my mortal enemy undoubtedly makes me sound like some sort of comic book supervillain, but I’ve never come up with anything more accurate and less theatrical and childish to describe what we have. Our rivalry would probably take an entire war map with battalions and flags to comprehend.

I met Selena Walton when we were in seventh grade – briefly – but truly got to know and dislike her the following year when our feud officially ignited. It was just shortly after that, during the same year, that the rest of us really jumped on the idea of forming the band and, by the end of eighth grade, we’d seen it through.

There was just one problem. I play the drums. Travis is lead guitar, and Cole is on second. Matt plays bass. Bryson covers keyboard when we need it for certain songs, but otherwise acts as our manager. We were good on our own, just the five of us, but when things started getting more and more serious, we had a debate about lyrics.

Cole is an incredible singer – when he’s singing unclean vocals (the screamo parts). When it comes to singing regularly, he may as well just strangle a bird on stage; the sound it would make is more or less the same. Our preferred genre of punk and its “close-enough” offshoots (we’ve found that a healthy mixture brings in a bigger audience) are starting to blur the lines a little, but we all agreed that we wouldn’t be a full-fledged screamo band. We resolved to use his talent conservatively. The rest of the guys couldn’t carry a tune to save their lives.

I can sing, but drummers stay at the back of the stage, and squishing the two roles together makes the show lose a certain kind of energy. The audience generally likes to see the singer while they’re singing. I can sing backup, but there needs to be someone up front. A hype man.

Enter Selena Walton. Unwelcomely welcomed to the band after our first five months of minimal lyrics with a three-to-two vote.

And whom I hate more than anyone else in the universe.

And maybe it would be slightly better if she didn’t front our band. I have nothing against female punk singers, or really just female singers in general. Many of them are good, even pretty great. Selena, however, is an exception. She hates the vast majority of the music that we perform. And, though what she does is technically considered singing, she is an alto who thinks she’s a soprano, which is the worst kind of alto and does not make for a spectacular – or even subpar – show. Her signature style is going up a few too many notes at the end of nearly every line, regardless of whether or not she can hit them, and it is such a pain to listen to that I’m surprised my head hasn’t shattered like glass, or exploded like Bryson’s band binder is going to do. This is all in addition to her entitled, annoying, spoiled brat attitude which is all wrapped up into one short, oblivious, bitchy, brunette package.

I wish that was the end of it, but, devastatingly, having Selena as our lead singer isn’t even the terrible part. I can deal with that. But about a year ago, band practice went from being the few hours a week that I had to tolerate the fact she exists to my own, personal hell.

Bryson’s managerial skills are sharp, but PR-wise he tends to run things like a scripted reality TV show in order to make us stand out from other local acts so people can invest in our “personal” lives. I don’t know what celebrity dating scandal gave him the idea, but a fake inter-band relationship was proposed and, by some weird misfortune, not immediately vetoed. After a ton of arguing, I literally drew the short straw.

Selena Walton is my fake girlfriend.

And I hate her.

At the very least, after a year of playing pretend (and having her hang off of me during shows after spitting in my face behind the scenes), I haven’t actually been forced to kiss her or anything yet. I think I’d have to tear off my lips and cauterize the wounds if that happened.

Bryson still sticks to his delusional claim that having us fake date is a good thing for the band, even though it causes more drama when we’re alone together than it ever does when we’re out in the public eye. I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be able to keep it up because Selena only acts like she’s staying faithful to me when, in reality, she’s probably slept with every guy who’s ever looked at her for more than five seconds. Pretending that I tolerate her is a tough challenge, but I deserve an Oscar for acting like I love her.

And so, when Travis and I walk in, she pretends to ignore me, but I watch her in my peripheral when she thinks I’m not paying attention. She gives me a look; it’s a spiteful, almost disgusted scowl. For what it’s worth, I’m glad she can just barely endure my mere presence. It’s the one thing about this entire situation that makes me feel all happy and light inside.

Travis sets his case down to take out his guitar, and I go sit on the arm of the couch next to Bryson. Since we cleared out his garage to act as our rehearsal space, my setup has lived here permanently and I’m the only one who ever touches my drums. They only move for gigs, and I don’t have much to prepare before practice.

Cole gives me a subtle nod, but doesn’t stop strumming one of our originals. “S’up, Scott,” he greets me. He uses my last name instead of my first. Bryson, Matt, and Cole have all done that as long as I’ve known them – apparently, the single syllable of my surname is easier than having to waste energy saying the two in Morgan.

I glance over Bryson’s shoulder after nodding back. The paper he’s mentally wrestling with has July twentieth – Friday’s date – and the time of our show at the top. The rest is the final setlist he’s been compiling that has only just been finished. It takes us a long time to decide which songs we’ll be playing, and in what order. (I blame Selena.) The one thing that Bryson has left blank is the space after encore:.

We always do an encore. And it’s always a Paramore song because they’re the only non-objectionable option Selena likes. Paramore is an amazing group, and I do like their music, but if she doesn’t learn to like literally anyone else, I’ll start to lose my goddamn mind.

Bryson taps his pen against the paper for another minute, and then grabs the list and, leaving the space empty, shuts the binder. Our logo is on the front of it, slipped into the plastic cover. It’s just a black circle with our band name, Full Stop., inside of it in an all-caps, blocky, white font. We let Cole design it – we’d said we wanted something simple, and, though it looks like something that was created in Microsoft Paint (and it probably was), he’d delivered. Selena thinks it’s too plain, which is why I think it’s the most wonderful graphic in the world. I wear one of our T-shirts as much as possible and I’m met with her judgy glare each time.

I watch Bryson set the binder aside and look over the setlist another time before rising. “I guess we can start,” he announces. Cole’s instrument abruptly stops. The garage, however, is not entirely silent. Matt and Travis use the absence of guitar riffs to actually tune their instruments. At the very least, Selena shuts up.

I proceed over to my kit, and purposefully bump Selena’s shoulder with my arm as I pass. She’s about five-foot-four – about a head shorter than me – and it irritates her when I “accidentally” run into her. It makes my whole day. I sit on the stool and the others slowly start to claim their positions. Cole drags his amp over from the loveseat, and Travis pulls the elastic from his hair so it falls just to his shoulders. He claims having it loose helps him rock harder. I fail to see the correlation, but he’s a damn good guitarist, so I try not to question his methods.

As Matt takes his place, and Selena taps her microphone to make sure no one (me) has muted it behind her back again, I put my earplugs in and grab my sticks. They feel like an extension of my body when I hold them – like having just a little bit more to my arms. My nerves begin to hum with anticipation. I saw the first song and I’m pumped to play it.

Bryson gets started and reads the set from the paper like always: song title, and then the artist for Selena’s music-illiterate benefit. He only skips the artist if it’s one of our originals – at least she knows the titles of those. And she seems to tolerate singing them. Sometimes.

“Okay, open with This Could Be Anywhere in the World – Alexisonfire. Selena will take a sec to introduce everything, then Silver Bullet – Hawthorne Heights, right into Bring Me To The Light. Selena can improvise something after that. Green Day’s Holiday smoothly into Boulevard of Broken Dreams, then You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid – The Offspring, and this is the working title for the story of two crazy kids.”

“We never really found a title for that, did we?” Travis says teasingly. He throws a small smirk my way.

“No,” I agree in a similar manner, “We really didn’t.”

If he’s going to make fun of me, I’m taking it in stride. I wrote that particular number, and a fair chunk of our other originals. I think that sometimes my titles are pretty good, even when they’re just chorus lyrics. But sometimes – well, they’re that.

“Selena improvises something, and then we go to the Red Block,” Bryson continues without missing another heartbeat. I’m pretty sure I hear his voice raise a little to grab our focus again. “Red Flag – Billy Talent, Red Sam – Flyleaf, and Something Different – Red As Dusk. Selena says stuff. Changing – Saosin. Pressure – Paramore. Selena talks. Be Like The Zeros. Kiss Me, Kill Me – Mest, and Selena introduces the final song. Strong finish with Postcards – Amber Pacific. Got it?”

Four of us nod, or make our brief sounds of agreement. Selena ruins the unanimous confirmation.

“And my encore?”

“If I keep thinking about that, I’ll have a fucking aneurysm,” Bryson says with a straight face. He passes her the setlist. He knows if we start having that discussion now, this won’t be a rehearsal, it’ll be a homicide. “Just run through what we’ve got. We can look at that when I know this set is okay.”

She mutters, “Well, for once I’d like to know what we’re doing before the night of the gig.”

“Yeah, then maybe we could do something other than Misery Business, or Still Into You, or Rose-Colored Boy, or – no, wait. That’s about it, huh?”

She doesn’t turn, but she does stick her middle finger up at me. I hear Travis try to softly suppress amused laughter; a small, entertained huff escapes him. She hates me. It’s so great.

“Please just practice the damn set.” Bryson’s voice has shifted to something like exhausted pleading. He’s not in the mood to break up a fight today. I mean, he’s going to have to anyway – there’s not a single doubt in my mind there – but he doesn’t want to. He always gets this way so close to a show. The stick doesn’t come out of his ass until the stage lights go off.

To ease his stress a little, we do as he says.

This Could Be Anywhere in the World is one of Cole’s favourites to perform because nearly half of it is unclean vocals. This means that it’s one of my favourites to perform because Selena’s unstable wailing only has to pierce my auricular space half as much.

And it’s a ton of fun to play on drums.

Once she’s butchered her way through Silver Bullet and one of our originals, I’m introduced as the representative from California by one of Travis’ very few spoken contributions during Holiday. Even though its absolutely necessary, Selena hates the fact that I’m the best she’s got for clean backup vocals that won’t make our audience’s ears bleed. She especially despises this brief part Matt and I share – my voice and drumming and his iconic bass line – simply because it takes the attention off of her for nearly a full bridge. I sing the rebellious lyrics with a smirk shot her way. She flips me off.

Selena hates singing You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid, and sings this is the working title for the story of two crazy kids terribly in an attempt to annoy me. She makes it painfully obvious that she’s suffering through the Red Block, and gets a smidge better during Changing because a Paramore song follows. She always complains that I use too much cymbal during Pressure. I wonder if she’s actually listened to the song, or if she’s just deaf.

I watch her reach for the list again as it comes to a close and beat her to it.

“I Love How You Say We Can Be Anything But Treat Us Like Shit.”

“That’s not what it’s called!” she snaps.

“Sorry. Be Like The Zeros, parentheses: I Love How You Say We Can Be Anything But Treat Us Like Shit.”

She turns a bit just so I have the luxury of seeing her roll her eyes.

“What? Do I need to say it backwards too?”

I can visibly see the rage manifest inside of her head and, with another smirk that I can’t help at this point, and that I can’t say is innocent, I launch into a hidden talent that frustrates her to no end. I don’t know exactly how I came across it, I just know that I’m able to do it and she’s not. Travis can do it as well, and he watches me with amusement as I drive Selena up the wall. I picture the smoke coming out of her ears as she glares at me.

“Tihs ekil su taert tub gnihtyna eb nac ew yas uoy woh evol I,” I recite. “Bryson knows the title – he wrote it!”

“Just start the damn song, Scott,” Bryson sighs rather than taking a side, even though I’m right.

I don’t give Selena the chance to have the final word. The crash cymbal screams beneath my stick in the intro. Thankfully, Bryson purposefully wrote this song in the right key for her alto voice, so I don’t have to hear her try and fail to sing outside of her vocal range.

“My mind is clouded like a smokehouse / I think I need a light to find what I was gonna say / My body’s numb and feeling funny / Lost here in a strange place / Just another average day.”

I’m sure Bryson is relieved when we finally make it to the end of Postcards without another interruption. The first hour of practice ends with our finalized setlist played in full and no unstoppable brawls.

“Can we talk about my encore now, Bryson?” Selena demands at the final note, ever the princess.

Bryson starts to look as if he would rather eat his own hand than discuss the encore and incite her wrath, but also that he knows if we don’t talk about it beforehand, we’ll have to pick ten minutes before the show and we’ll end up doing Let The Flames Begin again.

“Okay, fine,” he relents. “Band meeting.”

I set down my sticks and pull out my earplugs as the guys put their guitars on the assorted stands. Selena leaves her mic and goes to take a seat. She hates sitting on the furniture because everything in here is a relic too shitty for a thrift store; it’s all either tearing, patched with duct tape, or just too stained or dusty to be used by anyone other than a semi-successful garage band in LA. Selena’s in one, but she doesn’t act like it.

We make it a habit to sit as far away from each other as possible. Matt and Bryson take the loveseat where Selena’s perched herself on the one not-duct-taped arm that’s probably going to need a layer of the stuff in about a month. Travis, Cole, and I take the couch.

“Thoughts?” Bryson asks. I can tell he’s bracing himself.

I am too, but I keep my mouth shut and wait for Selena to get her terrible idea out of the way first.

“We should do Ain’t It Fun,” she pitches. “It’s always a crowd-pleaser.”

“It would be if our regular crowd hadn’t already heard you sing it a hundred thousand times.”

“What’s fucking wrong with that?” Her angled eyebrows raise, and I can already see her pupils filling up with fire. If anyone else had said it, she wouldn’t be as pissed off, and that simple fact alone is why I argue in the first place.

“Should I say it forwards or backwards?” I demand. She scowls. “They’re getting bored! If we lose the audience at Underground, we won’t get gigs, and Full Stop. is just fucked! Back me up here, Bryce.”

Selena whips her head around to glare at Bryson so fast that I expect her to break her neck, and I’m almost disappointed when she doesn’t. Bryson’s biting into his cheek, not wanting to say that I’m right in order to avoid her fury, but not denying it either. The others show their agreement plainly – Matt’s mouth takes on an uncertain slant, eyes bright, and Cole can’t stop himself from nodding subtly. Travis wears a smirk. He always takes my side in this war.

“Oh, fuck you guys!” she spits. Her defeat is a delicate sound. It’s like music to my ears.

“What do you want to do, Scott?” Bryson asks. His voice is calm, a mediator.

“We already have a Paramore song in the set. We can’t do another. We need to try something new this time. An original, or–” I rifle through my mental music library. I know which songs we’ve done, and all of the options we haven’t ever tried because Selena is a brat with bad taste. “Maybe actually try some My Chemical Romance for once? They’re a fucking staple to the punk-pop genre.”

“Ew, no,” Selena interrupts. “Veto.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Where do I start? They’re terrible.”

“First of all, how dare you.”

“Here we go,” Bryson sighs. He goes unheard.

“Second, do you have a better idea?”

“Yeah, like fifty! We should do something by The Chainsmokers.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“What? They’re good!”

“No, they’re overplayed! The crowd will be asleep before we even start. They’re not even punk!”

“You’re such a fucking snob!”

“Wow! Look, everyone! The pot is calling the kettle black!”

“Guys! Holy fuck – calm down!” Bryson’s voice cuts through us both. He’s rubbing his temples to curb the migraine Selena’s clearly bringing upon him. “Can we all remember that music is subjective?”

For a moment, the silence rests. Travis is clearly entertained and firmly stuck on my side. Bryson’s trying to fight off that brain aneurysm he promised himself. Cole and Matt are somewhere between rolling their eyes and coming up with an excuse to leave.

Selena is on the brink of completely detonating. Her jaw is set, posture disturbed and rigid. She doesn’t remove her beady, flaming eyes from me, and looks like she’s trying to murder me with her sheer force of will. In her imagination, she’s probably stabbing me with one of my drumsticks. Her tiny fists are clenched.

“Marianas Trench,” she says through her teeth.

“Are you joking? You’d need a church choir just to sing half their crap,” I say. “Dead Kennedys.”

“Veto. Ed Sheeran.”

“Worse than The Chainsmokers. Jimmy Eat World.”

“What? With their one fucking song? Vance Joy.”

“Who?”

That one really makes her mad, so I grin as I say it. She knows I know who Vance Joy is – if only because she’s mentioned him four million times and butchered one of his stupid indie songs over and over again with her shrieking.

“Good Charlotte,” I suggest.

She rolls her eyes. “Twenty One Pilots.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Really?” For a brief moment, I watch her little, round face light up.

“Yeah, as soon as you can rap, feel free to buy us all synths and ukuleles. I’m sure your Daddy can afford it.”

She’s so angry that I can nearly see her brain boiling. There are a few Twenty One Pilots songs I would willingly relent to adding to a Full Stop. setlist, but at the moment I know she’s too pissed off to even name one. I almost want to laugh.

“Taylor. Swift,” she hisses, enunciating every single syllable with a seething staccato. She knows I would never agree to it and that’s the only reason why she suggests it. Everything she ever does or says is designed to make me mad. In this way, we’re one and the same.

So, I mimic her tone. “Fuck. No.” And I’m just about to throw out The Gits – not that Selena could ever dream to live up to Mia Zapata’s legacy – when–

“Wait!”

The single word from Cole breaks our staring contest. I still feel my blood thundering from the rush of adrenaline that comes with pushing Selena to her breaking point, but I turn my attention on him. Cole’s straightened up from his lax slouch and, even though he’s sitting, he’s still a human tower – it’s no wonder the football coach spent nearly two years trying to recruit him. His eyes are stretched wide with an idea.

“What?” Travis asks.

He takes the question, but turns to me. His massive hand is slapped against his forehead, an indication of an epiphany. “Punk Goes Pop.”

“Excuse me?” Selena demands. Her teeth are clenched, and her brows are high.

Cole doesn’t need to explain it to me – I’ve caught onto his idea the second my mental music library dredges up the collection. He elaborates for everyone else.

“Yeah, okay, so Fearless Records has this series where they have punk bands cover pop songs, and, like, they’ve done some Taylor Swift stuff. Uh, You Belong With Me, Trouble – oh!” – he claps abruptly as the next idea enters his head and, again, his eyes turn on me, full of excitement and what appears to be an ego boost due to his own perceived genius. He’s gesticulating with the approximate energy of a German Shepherd – “Blank Space from the volume six rerelease! Dude, I Prevail goes so fucking hard on it! I had it on repeat for a month, and I can do Eric Vanlerberghe’s parts no problem!” He’s practically already playing air guitar.

“There. See? It’s a compromise,” Matt agrees.

And maybe it seems too good to be true…

Because it is.

“Yeah, too bad we can’t do it,” I object. Bryson sighs audibly and mutters under his breath. “If we let her sing the clean vocals, it won’t sound anything like a punk song! She’ll just try to sing it exactly like the original and fuck it up!”

“Fuck you!” Selena fires at me.

“Then you sing it, Morgan.”

I give myself whiplash turning to look at Travis, and the energy of the garage turns palpable – a thick, stunned tension that I could slice through with a razor blade and a ton of effort. Arms crossed over his chest, Travis shrugs, completely relaxed and completely, unbelievably serious.

In an instant, the initial surprise melts away, and I’m more confused by his proposal than I am shocked – or maybe it’s just an intense mixture of both. But the point is that I can’t sing it! I’m a drummer! That’s the only reason she’s even here in the first place!

“What?! No!”

“Yeah! ‘What?! No!’” Selena parrots me. For once, we’re actually in agreement on something.

“Why not? You’ve got a good voice, and I know you know the song.”

“Who’s going to play the drums?!” I reason. “That’s why she’s here!”

“I suggested Taylor Swift! I don’t want him singing it!” Selena protests.

“Exactly! Then she can’t hog the stage and be an attention whore and has to settle for being a regular–”

“Morgan,” Travis interjects (scolds), still calm despite presenting me with an insane idea just a moment ago. Selena flips me off with a look of pure hatred. I generally don’t like to push it that far, but I stand by what I was about to say. Her name is synonymous with it.

“I’ll find someone to drum for you,” Bryson says.

I scoff. “What? Am I that easily replaceable?! You’re all fucking ridiculous!”

“Scott,” Bryson starts in his middleman voice. I look at our manager and lift a brow. He seems to wait until everyone has copied me and all eyes are on him.

And then he supports Travis’ idea.

Using some of the most glorious words I have ever heard in my life.

“If we can just get this over with – pick the cover of Blank Space with you on clean vocals so this discussion will fucking stop – you can dump Selena.”

I have no idea what to say.

So it comes out unfiltered.

“Oh, screw you, Bryson.”

Not meant to be hurtful. Just… I can’t even explain it – just some sort of instinctual, astonished reaction.

I would be free of Selena Walton. And I would get to steal her encore.

But I would have to sing front-and-center. Even though it’s a cover, it’s still a Taylor Swift song. I wouldn’t have to sing all of it – about half the vocals in I Prevail’s version are unclean, so Cole would take them. But it’s still a tough debate.

I can’t really feel my body. I guess the shock is still settling in. Or it has settled in pretty deep and fried my nerves or something. But, while I’m internally wrestling against my own opinions, I dare to steal a look at Selena that ends up lasting longer than just a glance. Her eyes are narrowed, her jaw is tight, and her back is rod straight. She’s still inconsolably pissed at the idea that she could end up without an encore even though she’s had plenty already, but I see something else underneath that.

She wants me to take it. She doesn’t want to have to pretend to be shackled to me any longer. The feeling is mutual.

They’re all staring at me as I weigh the pros and cons a few more times.

In the end, I look Bryson dead in the eyes using what I can only describe as a defeated, cold glare.

“I want it in writing.”

Chapter: 2

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tisthenightofthewitch · 6 years

Text

LAUGHING WITH THE DEVIL • GHOST PREPARES TO RIDE A PALE TOUR NAMED DEATH THROUGH SACRAMENTO

When I was a fourth grader, a friend of mine got me hooked on Iron Maiden’s Live After Death. Sure, there was a zombie looking dude on the cover that kind of creeped me out, I figured it was harmless fun. A cousin of mine found out I was listening to heavy metal and freaked out on me. She told me it was the devil’s music and I was going to go to hell or something for listening to it. I don’t really remember the whole thing because I was, like, 10 and it was the ‘80s, and she freaked me the fuck out. Turns out that traumatized me more than any Maiden song ever did. I thought about this while I was coming up with questions for the following interview with Tobias Forge, frontman for Swedish metal band Ghost, who has tapped into that whole satanic panic thing and ran with it. Heck, it’s even earned him a Grammy.

Ghost released its debut album (Opus Eponymous) in 2010, but no one even knew who was in the group—at least officially—until 2017. Forge, Ghost’s sole songwriter, had his identity revealed when former bandmates filed a lawsuit against him. The ex-band members claimed they were owed profits because Ghost was a collaboration, whereas Forge saw the band as a solo project with a rotating cast of players. After our interview, on Oct. 17, a Swedish court dismissed the lawsuit, ordering the ex-band members to pay Forge’s legal fees, according to Blabbermouth.net.

Prior to his legal battle, Forge was known as Papa Emeritus I, II and III, the skull-faced anti-popes who front Ghost’s band of Nameless Ghouls. For the band’s latest album, Prequelle, which was released April 2018, Forge has taken on the mantle of Cardinal Copia, who looks sort of like a demonic Tony Clifton. The album is loosely based on the Black Plague, which ravaged Europe during the mid-14th Century. The lead single from the album, “Rats,” is a driving, arena-sized rocker. Its corresponding music video is as whimsically choreographed as it is gory. These things may seem contradictory, but Forge probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your stage presence is pretty theatrical. Are rehearsals for your live show more akin to, say, those for a Broadway show, or do you focus primarily on the music? We tend to focus more on the music. I’m not a super-fan of rehearsing [laughs]. It’s hard to summon the spirit to appear when there’s no smoke machine on and when the lights are different. I tend to find those sort of rehearsals are more for muscle memory, in terms of just making sure I can sing a certain thing … Especially when you’re rehearsing a new set, because this time around we’re going to change up the set a little and at least try to play a few songs that we haven’t played before, and you always want to try that … More than often, there’s a reason for a song not being played, and it might just be that it doesn’t work out very well. It’s hard to play, and you never really get that vibe going. The placement of the song in the set is very important. Like, OK, we’re going to try this song after this one now and see if the energy is right. It’s a little bit more mathematical and in a sense more scientific, whereas once you do the first show, that’s when you go into the role a little bit more, and it gets a little bit more magical or whatever.

Is there a particular song that you’re looking forward to playing live for the first time? Oh … aaaahhhh … I don’t really want to give it away right now! There may be a song on the list right now that we end up not playing. Let’s put it this way, there are some songs from the new album that we haven’t played before, and also there are some songs that we’ve played in the past, and other songs that we haven’t played from previous albums that we are considering playing. But again, you need to play them together and try them out. The real test is trying them in front of an audience. There have been songs throughout our tours that I thought were going to be really good to play live, but then once you play it, it just does not fly because the crowd isn’t responding very well. It doesn’t mean that they start booing, but you notice that it goes down in intensity … or you see people lose their interest, or that’s when they all of a sudden go buy beers.

Does that take you out of character when you’re on stage? You have the music, which is awesome, but you also have the visual component that goes with it. Is that part of why the setlist is so important? Oh, absolutely. Sometimes, I guess people, especially nowadays, people have a tendency to watch live shows beforehand on YouTube, and some people want to know the setlist beforehand, which I strongly recommend people not to. There’s a reason for a setlist being the way it is. As much as I admire Bruce Springsteen for taking requests, basically, for us it does not work like that …

In my perfect world, I’m a little bit of a … what do you call it? I like comfort in the sense that preferably, I’d like to play the same set every night and get better at performing it that way, because you know how to distribute your energy so that by the last couple of songs, which are our most intense … You need to sort of sit on energy to make them explode.

It’s interesting to hear that you look for comfort in your live sets since you change your persona every album. Is that something that’s difficult to juggle—comfort versus not wanting to repeat yourself? When it comes to certain aspects, yes. When it comes to the live show, I think, let’s just say, most bands throughout rock history have found their form at some point. And then, after you’ve found that form, you don’t want to change too much. If that form has taken you to a certain plateau and that has given you a certain amount of success, that will be what people expect of you and that will be what you’re comfortable doing … However, what we do intend to change up, what will always change, more from a production point of view, is what we wear, what the stage looks like, effects and props and actors or whatever. One easy example of what I’m talking about that we should not do is that over the years, ever since Papa I became Papa II and onwards, there’s been a little vocal minority that felt that Papa I was menacing and evil, and they wanted that menacing evil to stay and any animation that went beyond that rigor mortis that he had was selling out or whatever. The thing is we can never return to that. That worked because we played 30 minutes in the dark, basically, with all fog on stage. That worked because you saw very little. But we can never go back to that because we’re playing big places now. We’re playing for two hours. You need animation. You need things to happen.

I watched the webisodes for the Prequelle album, and what struck me most about them was how funny they were. I liked that there was a sense of humor to them and not just all grim and foreboding. Is that something you enjoy playing with, too? I don’t want to say absurdity, but maybe the campiness that’s always been the backside of horror. Absolutely. I think campiness—for the lack of a nicer word for it—is very much in line with the trashier nature of the culture that is horror. I’m a big fan of kitsch. I’m a big fan of trash culture. For some reason, there’s a minority of people who tend to think that the devil and death metal and all that shouldn’t be in any way about humor. Even though, believe me, I truly admire and I really appreciate a good dose of serious, orthodox darkness as well, but for me, looking at it from a philosophical point of view, laughter and satire and comedy is very, very against establishment, church, conformity. For me, humor and comedic elements is, for one, very natural for me. I like things that are in one way or another comedic. But I think if there was an argument for the campiness overshadowing the seriousness that should be satanic metal, I definitely beg to differ. No, no, no, this is very blasphemous, because it’s about laughter. Laughter is the work of the devil. Remember The Name of the Rose? According to old ways of Christianity, laughter and comedy were definitely the work of the devil. I think this is in all aspects utterly blasphemous from that point of view. But, at the end of the day, I’m a big culture fan. I love kitsch and having fun and living my life and filling it with as many enriching things as possible. I think a lot of the things I find rewarding and pleasant in one way or another are represented in what I’m trying to do with Ghost.

Prequelle is sort of a modern re-telling of The Black Plague. How do you think that period of history relates to now? I’m talking from a Westerner living in a Western world perspective—we tend to talk about our contemporary time as being almost pre-apocalyptic. We tend to talk about the world as something that’s about to end. Of course, from an environmental point of view, maybe it is. I do not know, but maybe it is. But there are a lot of people on this earth who tend to persevere. We will probably do whatever it takes not to melt the ice, eventually … Maybe too late, but whatever. The thing is, the world has come to an end many, many times. In the 1340s and 1350s, people thought this was the end of the world. I’m sure that people in places other than the Western world are facing the end of the world. We all know that in Syria, millions of people were facing the end of their world. Looking in hindsight on The Black Plague in the 1300s, we know that it wasn’t. We had the 1400s, the 1500s … way further than anyone in the 1300s could ever imagine. I think especially now in modern days, we tend to pride ourselves in thinking, well, there’s nothing new to say, there’s nothing new to write. I think we overblow our significance and also the ultimate nature of the day that we’re living in. Who knows, maybe in 20 years, we’ll look back and say, “The 2010s, wow, I’m glad that’s over.” Like, look at a presidency. It’ll end after a few years. It’ll change. Things fucking change. They always do.

That’s an oddly hopeful message from the leader of a satanic metal band … It’s there to shine a light on the idea that things do change. Even though Prequelle on the surface is a record about death and dying, it’s actually a record about survival.

SubmergeMag.com

#Tobias Forge #Tobias Interview #The Band Ghost #Ghost Band #Cardinal Copia

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sweettoothshipperrotg · 5 years

Note

okay I know I said last one but,,,,,, i couldn’t help myself- SO how about Superhero AU? With FrostedNature? (loveuthankubye)

Oh you and your promises of not sending more prompts. LIKE.YOU.COULD.HOLD.OUT (don’t you worry baby it’s fine, your prompts always make me happy :3)

Sorry this took so long, but I’ve finlly completed it.

Based on: ‘You’re my arch nemesis but our best friends are dating…I guess I’ll play nice in civvies, for now’ AU

Hope you enjoy!

SECRET IDENTITITES, MY FOOT

Jackson Overland Frost couldn’t believe his eyes when Bunnymund introduced his girlfriend’s best friend.

This was supposed to be a nice evening. He had cleared up his schedule specifically for tonight (if he kept on canceling every time something “came up”, Bunny would probably have strangled him) and was more than ready to enjoy his first free night in three years.

Luckily, he had been spared his friend’s backlash since Tooth’s friend also had to unexpectedly rain check their outing several times.

It wasn’t like Jack didn’t like the idea of his friend now being engaged (albeit, it had shaken him a little). Toothiana was a lovely woman, a bubbly behavior that balanced Bunny´s down to earth personality. The aussie had never been in such a long relationship before, but on the four year mark he decided to pop the question.

Jack, as the newly designated best man, was having a hard time handling his responsibilities for his friend’s wedding, his job at North’s store, and his “extracurricular activities”.

The couple had declared that their two friends had to meet in order for their nuptials to smoothly continue.

Toothiana had told him a little about the future bridesmaid. Emily Jane was a no-nonsense successful botanic researcher who Tooth had met at college and become friends with.

To anyone else such a friendship would have seemed rather odd, but considering that he had and Bunny had become friends when the blue-eyed boy was getting his ass handed to him during a bar fight, he understood. His opponent had managed to throw him over the table when Jack had tried to be a knight in shining armor and save one of his friends from a rather insistent ex-boyfriend. Aster had knocked the douchebag with a mean right hook and helped Jack up from the floor.

They had been besties ever since.

Now he was at a fancy restaurant in a five-star hotel, surrounded by his two friends and sitting in front of a stunning woman in a black dress who was sending intense glances his way.

Not in the sexy sense, more like “I want to murder you with this very steak knife I have in my hand” kinda way.

Although his presence had never warranted such a reaction from anyone he had met, there was a little problem.

He knew this woman.

And judging by the recognition in her eyes when they shook hands for the first time, she knew him as well.

Despite his best effort to keep his night job and his personal life separate, it seems it had come back to bite him.

The woes that betides a superhero.

Yes, he had superpowers. And yes he spent most of his free time as a vigilante making the streets of Burgess City a little safer to tread.

By now, Jack Frost had become more than just a fable among people.

It had been quite a decision when his ice powers manifested for the same time after his close call with death at the local pond he used to skate at with his little sister.

He remembered the cold and the dark water that surrounded him. He can even recall his sister screaming out his name from the surface. But then he woke up in a hospital bed after being unconscious for days and with his mother and sister asleep by his bedside.

His powers took two weeks to show themselves.

A glisten and a flurry of ice shot out of his hand into the tree next to him and covered it with an intricate and budding frost pattern. And the rest was history.

Had it not been for the present tense atmosphere, he would have chuckled at his memory of his first years as a superhero, running around with a mask and in an old blue hoodie. What a reckless kid he had been.

Thankfully his current supersuit was now more outfitted for combat and to handle his powers. North had been very helpful after Jack had busted into his shop to stop a large robbery.

And yes, of course North knew of his double life (the ex Russian scientist was his go to tech guy, after all). A superhero couldn’t keep down a stable job as easily as the comics made it look, and he had rent to pay.

In his many comings and goings he had faced many different foes: the low life criminals that preyed on the streets, the low level grunts of the mafia families, even a few corrupt leaders of the crime syndicates that sat atop of the city.

But none had been such a challenge like his arch nemesis. Persephone.With such a taste for dramatics, no wonder the universe had decided to search for someone to meet her match.

Her phytokinetic powers had him gawking at her when they first met at a bank robbery – that she orchestrated!

With a graceful swoop she and her plants had descended upon him and confronted him in one of the most engaging combats he had had in ages.

He was quick and nimble, but her defense and her strikes knocked the wind out of him.

Luckily, he had entertained her enough for the police back up to arrive.

She had left him fighting off thorny vines and unable to follow her and end the dance they had started.

Jack Frost had encountered the mysterious woman several other times.

She seemed to dabble in several types of crimes, but was quite adept to burglary. The high-class type. Although those pompous fishes could do with having a little less money, the upper class victims were outraged at the inability of the police to catch the masked villainess.

The mystery that was Persephone had kept him awake many nights. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all from a sleuth-related nature.

Her sly smile was ever present when he closed his eyes, so was her taught yet lithe body he had felt during close quarters combat and her alluring and taunting voice.

In other words, his imagination was playing against him. And he was losing, part of him wanted to put her behind bars so he would stop thinking of her so damn much.In another universe, these two characters would have never recognized the other; oblivious of their double life until some convoluted hand of destiny revealed their identities at a more inconvenient time.

But it seemed that fate had other plans.

His mind was brought back from his machinations all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry, I have to take this call.” Emily’s voice apologized profusely to her friend. “I’ll be right back. I promise.”

She sauntered out of view, almost as if she knew that his eyes would follow her.

“I…uh…I gotta use the restroom” He spluttered and excused himself away from the couple.

Jack passed the restrooms, and made his way to the open courtyard the hotel had.It looked quite pretty with the lights that illuminated the ornate fountain.

She was there, with her back to him and appearing to admire the abundant yet harmonic greenery that surrounded them.

Oh how freaking convenient.

He approached, carefully as you would to a deadly animal. The frost was starting to surge on his palm but yet he didn’t attack. The place was secluded but not enough for a full on battle to go unnoticed.

“Of all the places in this city, I find you here.” She still did not turn to face him. “How odd, isn’t it?”

Jack didn’t answer, sizing her up. He felt relief that she hadn’t take the steak knife with her, but that feeling burst when he realized she was far more deadly without it.

“And here I was planning such a show for when we met again.” Persephone said in her usual tone; the type of confident voice that came from always holding all the cards.

“Eager to see me, sweetheart?” The word escaped his mouth before he could help it.

They had slipped into well-known roles; their war of wits just as accelerating to him as their physical warfare.

“Flirt all you want, Frost.” Her head turned to glance at him, a smirk blooming in her lips. “But you’re not handing me over to the police just yet.”

The plants around them swooshed, but not because of the wind.

“Really?” Jack clenched his jaw, his muscles tensing. “And why is that?”

She now fully turned around and stepped forward, but he held his ground.

“Because you wouldn’t want to break your dear friend’s heart, would you?”

That sent a rush of fear through his blood. Instantly, a sharp spike of ice was forming onto his hand and was inches away from her neck. She didn’t even flinch. “If you dare harm Bunny or Tooth-”

“Spare me the theatrics, Frost.” She said calmly, as if she didn’t have an ice blade to her neck ready to run her through. “I’m not going to hurt any of them.”

Ok, that had him baffled.

“What?”

“I happen to truly care for Toothiana, and I even like Bunnymund enough to entrust him the safety and happiness of the only true friend I’ve ever had.” She firmly explained in all seriousness. “I would walk through burning coals for her and make anyone who hurts her wish they were dead.”

“What I meant to say is that we happen to be their best man and bridesmaid, quite crucial to their wedding if memory serves me right.” Emily continued to explain. “And I think it would put a damper on their wedding if I were to get rid of you or, in the most unlikely case, for you to send me to prison. That’s why I’ve decided we should reach a compromise.”

“What exactly did you have in mind?”

“A truce.” She replied with a confident smile. “I don’t go around on my nightly activities and you don’t try to throw me in jail while our friends are planning their wedding. Heck, we might have to work together to make it happen so it would be useful to not be at each other’s throats.”

Jack Frost had not expected this at all. Was she truly going to just play nice with him until their friends were married?

It felt like he was missing something. Once more, she had pulled the rug from under his feet.

Jack shook his head to clear out the fog, as the wheels spun inside his head. “How can I trust Burgess City’s top criminal to keep her word?”

“I guess it’s all about a leap of faith” She stepped closer and gently placed a hand on his chest, the ice dagger now pressing firmly against her skin but she paid it no mind since she was finding him far more interesting. The conflict that battled within those blue eyes of his was positively delicious, and so was his accelerated heartbeat. “Aren’t you heroes all about that, anyways?”

Silence stretched over them, both enemies sizing each other up for the others next move. But, in the end, it was him who spoke.

To be honest, he was probably making the biggest mistake of his life.

“Fine.” He warily acquiesced. “We play nice until Bunny and Tooth get married, but if I find out that you’re at it again then the deal is off.”

“Sounds good to me” She grinned, trying to suppress the mix of anticipation and adrenaline that had her self-control in such shaky grounds. “Now would you kindly put the icicle away? I need to get back to our table before Tooth gets worried.”

The spike vanished, and he retreated back so her influence would stop messing with his head.

She made her way out of the garden, but turned around to end their encounter with one last warning. “Don’t worry, once we cart them off to their honeymoon we can go back to destroying each other like always”

He didn’t grace her with an answer as the sharp click of her stilettos faded away in the distance.

Jack combed a hand through his hair and sighed.

There were definitely going to be some interesting months ahead of him.

TADA! Hope you liked it.

If you feel like sending asks, don´t hesitate to do so (it might take time but I’ll eventually get there, I promise!)

#emily jane pitchiner #Jack Frost #frosted nature #rise of the guardians #ROTG #jackfrostxemilyjanepitchiner #guardians of childhood #GoC

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kuragin · 6 years

Text

be more chill: book versus musical

i very recently (like, friday night) got my hands on a copy of ned vizzini’s be more chill, a novel i have been meaning to read even before i had heard of the musical due to the fact that i have read another one of his novels, it’s kind of a funny story, but i could never get my hands on a copy of due to the fact that the bookstore never had any. being a diehard of the musical, i decided to do a little review of the book, how it compares to the musical, and why it should not be getting all the hate that it deserves. here we go:

I instinctively knew that the original book version of Be More Chill is a wildly different product than the musical. Also, neither one is better than the other considering that they are two very different things. The novel Be More Chill by Ned Vizzini centres on the struggles of Jeremy Heere, a socially inept high school aged theatre kid who takes a pill called a SQUIP in order to be with the girl of his dreams, the blonde, popular, and frankly hotheaded Christine. The musical Be More Chill by Joe Icons and Joe Tracz deals with a similar situation- Jeremy Heere, an anxiety ridden teenage boy who likes video games, takes a pill called a SQUIP in order to be less sweaty and more cool, and to hopefully go out with his long time crush, a passionate, ADHD Asian theatre kid named Christine.

When I see a lot of people on Tumblr comparing the novel to the book, I feel like they’re forgetting the fact that (a) Ned Vizzini wrote the novel in 2004, and (b) The novel is not a hero vs villain story like the musical, but rather the protagonist vs himself. The musical is about Jeremy vs the SQUIP, with some character development for him thrown in. The book is about Jeremy vs his own anxiety, fears, and self-set limits.

When you get into theatre, it’s hard to stay away from well, the theatrics. Adapting anything to the modern stage can be a challenge, especially a stream-of-consciousness book like Vizzini’s Be More Chill. Instead of having your character's thoughts be portrayed through text, they have to be shown through dialogue. Vizzini’s books are projections of himself, his experiences, and a place of vent. The musical is not Ned Vizzini.

Having the SQUIP be villainous makes for a much better show. Motivations are clear, the setup is easy, and the audience reception is much more well-received. However, if you were to novelize the musical version of Be More Chill, I can guarantee that it would be tacky and not very well recepted. And I think that’s a credit to the Joes of the Musical, who managed to pull off such an insane show. The concept is strange and unusual, but the exposition is wonderful. A ballad like Michael in the Bathroom would have absolutely never been well translated into text, because the entire song is pure, raw, unfiltered emotion coming from Michael, rather than it as experienced through Jeremy’s point of view (which is how the novel is written- Note: the novel features 0 instances of Michael freaking out in a bathroom).

Here’s some things I noticed in the novel that made somewhat of an appearance in the musical:

Novel!Michael mentions that his older brother got a SQUIP, and he went from a failing student to attending Brown University, but because it was a SQUIP 1.0, it also made him go insane. In the musical, (the dialogue just before Michael in the Bathroom) Michael tells Jeremy that he couldn’t find anything about the SQUIP on the internet, but he says that, “Finally, this guy I play Warcraft with told me how his brother went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard” which is obviously a reference to his novel!brother.

Michael and Jeremy are much closer friends in the musical. In the book they were friends, but they weren’t die-hard-I-would-put-on-pants-for-you friends. They weren’t as dedicated to each other in the novel, which I think, when you watch the musical, was meant to provide a best-friend-who-saves-the-day type situation, a la Lord of the Rings Samwise Gamgee style. Novel!Jeremy is much more isolated from other characters and social situations than Michael is, which is apt for a novel about the individual vs self. Having Michael and Jeremy be outcasts together makes for a much more interesting climax at the end when they’re on opposite sides of the social hierarchy and pitted against, yet still want to care for each other.

The novel was written in 2004, at a time when Mountain Dew Code Red was readily available. In a modern retelling, having Michael be some hipster ass gamer who buys expired soft drinks for his collection is downright hilarious and a wonderful way to explain why it was hard for Rich to get his hands on some, it further asserts the importance of Michael as a character, and creates even more suspense for a climax (as the soft drink was only available in limited quantities, AKA 1 bottle, and it would be extremely difficult to get more).

(Can you notice that I love Michael Mell? Personal bias, I guess.)

One of the things that surprised me the most was that Jeremy’s mom was in the novel. I just figured that she was also absent in the books, and that it was one of the many other things that Jeremy was struggling with. Having his mom absent is a strange decision, but I can see only two possible reasons for it: a smaller cast, because there really isn’t a need for a grown adult woman in the play besides his mother, and Jeremy already has a parent (for reference, the actor for Mr. Heere also plays the drama teacher Mr Reyes and other background characters; Mrs Heere would not have had any secondary roles), and for dramatic situation. Having Mr. Heere a depressed father whose wife left him adds another layer to his character, rather than just having obese divorce lawyer who eats peanut butter oreos. Mr Heere is the one who shows up to Michael’s house and motivates him to help Jeremy, even after he had been a jerk to him. It’s much more suited because the musical has different conflicts and requires different resolutions, including those of background character development.

Despite being written in 2004 and now retold, Eminem is still relevant and mentioned in the musical, and canonically dies in both. I think my favourite addition though is when Brooke says “he was super old and mean to women” just after they all find out he dies.

Also Jenna takes much more precedence in the novel, but in the musical she’s reduced down to the “school gossip”. This is done for a reason though, because she is a main catalyst to how Jeremy keeps spreading the SQUIP to the other students of Middleborough. Brook is also a lot less apparent in the book. Overall, I think the female characters in the musical have a lot more personal development and personality than what the novel reduces them to. In defense of Vizzini, however, the novel is written in the POV of Jeremy and that is how he sees the girls, rather than the omniscient point of view that the musical provides. Ie: Christine, who is a much more likable girl in the musical for her dorkiness and self-aware theatre geekiness.

So overall, the book and the musical versions of Be More Chill are still different things, adapted for different modes of sharing, and for different audiences. One is not better than the other, one is just much more culturally relevant than the other, especially because were in an age where the Teen Musical is increasingly becoming popular and centralized for a pretty specific group of fangirls.

Also jeremy is a furry in the novel ok i said it

#bmc #be more chill #be more chill book #ned vizzini #long text #post

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xoruffitup · 6 years

Video

youtube

Just want to flail over Adam’s parts? People, I AM HERE FOR YOU. Here’s a time-stamped cheat sheet of Adam’s comments and generally precious moments. (Basically Round 2 of my overall flaily recap of this panel right after it happened.)

I start the video and my heart freaks out remembering when he first walked on stage. Get me a paper bag before I pass out... His little ‘Hello!’ and one-handed wave when he walked out I was already deceased.

1:35 - Everyone please just watch this adorable tall man awkwardly sit and fidget and bite his lip and make his oh god public attention face

11:25 - Adam makes no judgments about his character’s morality. He empathizes more with Ben Stiller’s character in the While We’re Young film than with his own, but recognizes that his own feelings about the character are irrelevant; as are his feelings about his own performance.

“It’s not about me feeling it, it’s about an audience feeling it.”

I’m constantly struck by his humility and maturity in always thinking of himself as only a small part in every film project, regardless of how large his role might be. He’s hyper-aware that none of it is about him, and becomes uncomfortable when people try to make it so. Although he explains here that he relates to the “debilitating” pressure to play a role correctly or authentically, and we know that he constantly over-thinks and scrutinizes his own work to the point of not being able to watch himself on film; He also recognizes his personal gratification with his performance comes second to the overall story being told. Internally, he might hold himself to high personal standards, but he never presumes those standards should be projected on anyone else. He finishes this answer with “Who am I to say if they’re right or wrong?” (If audiences respond to a less authentic version of a work.)

I would love to hear him answer this same question about Kylo’s character.

27:50 (One of the moments when I had to physically restrain myself from flailing in my seat because he’s so damn presh) - The moderator tried to “bring back Adam” because he’d hardly spoken so far, and Adam goes “I’m good, I’m good.” Ben Stiller interjected, “Can I just say something about acting with Adam?” and Adam immediately shakes his head and waves his hand in a silent “Please no”, but then very magnanimously tells Ben to go ahead, even while squirming in his seat a tiny bit while Ben talked about him.

29:00 - Adam says Noah’s writing is very “theatrical.” I did find it interesting how he talked here about a whole range of different potential meanings within the same words of a script, depending on how they’re delivered. I also love when he talks about working in theatre, just because I have a soft spot for stage actors.

(Watching this whole video back makes me realize Adam really did quite effortlessly and unconsciously charm the audience (not just me), even speaking so little compared to the other panelists. I remembered clearly when he had his ~showdown with the moderator towards the end the audience was 100% on his side, clapping for him, but generally there are so many audience laughs for the little self-deprecating jokes Adam mixes into all his answers.)

31:10 (Alert alert, fangirl moment) - Perfect capture of how he fiddles with his fingers and listens so attentively.

33:28 - THAT L A U G H

35:08 - My other favorite funny/presh moment! “There’s humor in doing the same things in life and still trying to make them more efficient... Like I still don’t think I’ve ever gotten into a car the right way.” (Confused audience laughter?) Then Adam gets serious with chagrin right away like “...that was a bad example...” (Audience continues laughing with him even though most people probably don’t get it.) He made a last-ditch effort to explain himself by saying “the Tesla” - but didn’t quite get to fully explain that he was referring to the uber-modern Tesla car that was driving him around the island over the weekend. Regardless, everyone found it amusing and I was there like I stan a man who can’t get into a car right WHAT A GEM

36:27 (Alert alert, another fangirl moment) - Everyone please just watch him take a drink of water. Why every single damn thing he did was totally mesmerizing to me I don’t know, but you’ll thank me later.

46:13 - The moderator mentions Paterson screened at the Nantucket Film Festival several years ago. Adorable moment where he goes to start listing all the famous people from Paterson and has to give up with “...and a bunch of other people I can’t remember right now.”

47:10 - Hilarious moment but first strike against the narrator. Ben Stiller had to ask Chris Matthews if Paterson was the first movie he’d seen Adam in because yeah, he’d kind of been neglecting Adam a bit (not that Adam minded, clearly), but Ben went “...he’s also in Star Wars,” and the whole place cracked up.

49:10 - Non-Adam moment, but I was really intrigued with Noah Baumbach’s comment here, talking about developing his dialogue and how “there’s communication, and then there’s talking.”

50:10 - THIS IS IT, FOLKS, THE GOLD MINE OF ADAM CHARM AND SASS. THE LEGENDARY MOMENT IS NEARING. Watch Adam’s life flashing before his eyes in a panic when the question “Who is the most influential person in your life” is suddenly thrown at him. He wasn’t ready for this!! (Although great question, Rea, so glad it was asked!) Then after he says he’ll pass on the question, you can see him basically flying to Mars in his head pondering. Then the cuteness and laughter when he announces he does have an answer!! He was 1000% the whole audience’s darling by this point. Then his answer is basically, “Listen to how insightful my wife is because she’s the best.” Then after boasting about his wife it’s right back to his modest self: “On to the next question and then I’ll finish this monologue...”

LOOK, okay he wasn’t even talking for that long! He’d given what, 3 answers before this during the whole hour-long panel?! The moderator himself blabbed at least twice as much. I was loving this monologue because it was the first time Adam was actually talking for an extended time. But apparently we can’t have nice things becomes here comes Mr. Rude-ass, Clueless Moderator...

(Also, Ben and Noah were 100% engaged with what Adam was saying so literally this was only the moderator’s problem...)

52:32 - The moderator audibly sighs into his microphone in the middle of Adam’s “monologue” and I’m SO glad Adam unpretentiously called him out: “.....Are you bored by my answer?” The whole audience laughed in sympathy with him because it was so weird and rude? Then Adam went on to be even more of a clever QT like: “You were thinking about another question? That’s what I was doing during your answers...” And the man is so straight-faced about it you genuinely can’t even tell if he purposefully meant that well-done, five-course ROAST.

I cringe so hard at this memory I can barely watch it back, but ughhhh queue the moderator interrupting Adam’s attempt to resume his answer, with some bullshit about Jeff Goldblum... What even? Jeff Goldblum was mentioned once in the panel previously, but wtf how does your mind go there when Adam Driver is giving a painfully earnest, precious, and over-thought monologue for you???

52:50 - “...SO STAR WARS.” BOOM. In three words Chris Matthews has been KO’d. omg look at the almost proud look on Noah’s face like yeah you tell him bb and Ben’s cracking up, and the whole audience flips out like DAMN, SAVAGE!!!

(Also for ~context reference, walking out from the auditorium afterwards, I remember overhearing two guys saying to each other “Chris Matthews was like one of those old guys who just blurts whatever’s going through his head.” “Yeah but you’d think when you’re talking to Adam Driver you’d be more respectful and reign it in.” and in my head I was like DAMN RIGHT. Watching this whole thing back, Matthews gets on my nerves basically the whole time. He seems to enjoy hearing himself talk so much that he forgot what a moderator’s actual job is.)

58:40 - Adam’s advice to aspiring filmmakers about the usefulness of going to school, getting a firm foundation in your craft, and having the insulated space to fail and build yourself.

Just so I can ~complete my revisiting of this whole experience~, I’ll add this photo taken by @wherethepastaat aka Rea aka https://twitter.com/cosmicreas in the parking lot outside after the event. I love her for asking the incredible question that gave us a world-class #SassybutClassy Adam moment, and also for snapping this A+ covert photo documenting the referenced Tesla car that caused Adam so much stress about how to get in it correctly. (Joanne’s getting in before him.)

I also owe her my firstborn because she inadvertently GOT ME IN THE PHOTO WITH ADAM!! That shoulder in the pink tank top directly behind him? THAT’S ME. THAT’S ME AND ADAM. IN THE SAME PHOTO. DEEP BREATHING, OKAY. Now I can always prove that I really was that close to him! (He came by even closer when he walked down the sidewalk. No, a month later I still have not gotten over it even .00001% percent.)

Admittedly, there have been brief moments where I berate myself like ‘ugh why didn’t you ask for a photo?!’ but A) I was frozen in awe for the 10 seconds he was in front of me (pretended to be on my phone so I wasn’t overtly staring, lol) and B) You can see in this photo that there were a bunch of people milling around. If I’d asked him to stop, he probably would have gotten stuck taking pics with lots of people. I did the right thing AND got to witness more wholesome Adam moments as he was leaving!

Once again, Rea I owe you a gift basket because I am SO glad I got to witness when you/your brother called ‘Bye!’ to Adam from your car and your dad called “Hi Kylo!” and ADAM RESPONDED, smiled and waved and said ‘Hi Thanks!’ back. IT WAS SO PURE I CRY AT THE MEMORY.

All in all, despite the fact that Adam didn’t actually talk that much on the panel, it was still a 100% Quality Event and I still think about it daily. :’) My Adam crush has morphed into an all-consuming real-life thing that I do my best to control but look, a girl can only do so much in the face of THIS. I AM ONLY HUMAN, ADAM.

#Adam Driver #Nantucket Film Festival #gettin hella fangirly once again #driverdaily

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