#i loved this feud so much and I wanted to dedicate some time to them <3

[skylessknights]

GET TO KNOW ME: ♡ favourite wrestling feud/storyline - Swerve Strickland vs Hangman Adam Page

"You must be a masochist. You must want suffering or something. But guess what? I'll give you what you want."

[misojunnie]

DELICATE ─ psh. ☆ (teaser)

does love ever cross the line?

# genre: rich kid!enemy!sunghoon x fem!reader, forbidden love, enemies to lovers, slow burn, family feud, non idol au

# warnings: substances, lots of pining/angst, cursing, insults, mature jokes, implied sex, I have no idea how businesses work plz don’t roast me

# featuring: sunghoon & enha! + le sserafim

# playlist: delicate by taylor swift, take care by beach house, love by kendrick lamar, babydoll by dominic fike, hurts so good by astrid s

# a/n: hello all! been a long time :,( my life has taken several turns since I started this account, and I've been so preoccupied with my own bs that running this blog is becoming harder than ever... hence my little disappearing act. but I don't want to disappoint u guys! this fic was supposed to be released several months but it completely slipped my mind :( I decided to log in once again to finally let you all see it! I hope you like it and I hope to be back again soon 💓 much love to all my dedicated readers and I appreciate you all more than you know!

# word count: 13.2k

# taglist: @lovialy @minniejenseo @powerpuffstuts @mnxnii @idkdykilr @ionlyreadforfanfics @heelovesmeknot @100520s @simjyunnie @scrumptiousloser @eneiyri @pinkkami @milkycloudtyg @enhypenlovre @pinkkami @m3chigo @saythenameseventeen178 @desistay @capri-cuntz.@taerifin @ohmykwonsoonyoung @vixensss

# unable to tag: @hohohobo

this was written upon anon request; check it out here!

when your father’s company cratered after a faulty business deal, a vendetta was formed between your family and the biggest export company in south korea. but that rivalry begins to falter when you fall in love with the ceo’s son.

[more under the cut!]

You hated the business world. 

It was ruthless. Bloodless. It had no heart and no compassion. It taught you that humans were created to tear their own kind apart; it was a dog eat dog world.

A couple years ago, your family’s company went bankrupt, and you blamed it all on the Park Company. Fine, maybe your father held some culpability for throwing his business away in a deal that was obviously so faulty. But naivete and malice were entirely different things altogether; one was mostly harmless. The other? Not so much.

The Park Company was the most ruthless corporation in the business world. Working in any kind of business guaranteed running into them sooner or later. And now, not only had they run your business into the ground, they owned over ¾ of your company’s wealth in stock. Not that it was worth much anyway.

Well, it turns out fixing your father’s mistake was a little harder than you thought. Reviving a company from the dead was difficult, especially when public opinion wasn’t exactly favorable. So you made the riskiest decision yet; to start from scratch. You invested all your family’s ruined fortune on establishing your dream hotel. Even if it was the last thing you did, you would have more than a ruined corporation as your legacy.

With ten cents to your name and a pipe dream, you managed to create what would later be the most successful hotel chain in South Korea. Your wealth grew, and so did your reputation. Some praised you for making such a comeback, some degraded you for your family’s mistakes. And it definitely didn’t help that your father became a raging drunkard after his failure, raving the streets like a maniac. You even considered having him taken out just so he’d stop damaging your reputation, but you decided against it. To you, it didn’t matter. Your success was your only concern.

Destroying your life was all in a day’s work for the Parks. They were so obscenely powerful, that losing a mere company like yours was like losing an eyelash. Meaningless. You were nothing to them.

You hated them with a vengeance. They didn’t even know your name.

Or so you thought.

☆☆☆

Awards banquets were Sunghoon’s least favorite part of being in business. Forget the ruthlessness and backstabbing, dressing up in a suit and pretending to be successful blew all that warfare out of the water.

“It’s too tight.”

“It’s fine. You’ll be fine. Just stop complaining.”

“I’m not kidding, Jake. Loosen it or I’ll kill you.” Jake sighed, tugging on the navy blue tie until it was hanging loosely around Sunghoon’s neck, a stark and messy contrast to his crisp black suit and neat button up.

“Jesus Christ. After fifteen years, you’d think you’d know how to tie a tie.” Jake said, shaking his head as his best friend checked his hair in the mirror. 

“Are you sure we have to go to this thing tonight?” Sunghoon huffed, brushing a stray piece of hair into place.

“Don’t be stupid. You’ve been going to these galas since you were six, and dragging me along with you.” Jake scoffed, pushing Sunghoon’s head from behind and ruining his hairstyle yet again, the latter glaring at him.

Jake Sim, heir to the Sim corporation. An airplane manufacturing company that was this close to going under when the Parks took pity and bought nearly all their stock. These days, their company was worth next to nothing, but young Sunghoon took Jake under his wing, and there was no escaping now, to his chagrin. Though they’d never admit it, they had grown very fond of each other.

“You love it.” Sunghoon teased, tearing his eyes away from the mirror after checking his hair a last time. “God, I can’t believe we’re still having these idiotic galas. Everyone just knows they’re a coverup for big corporations to distract from the fact that they’re abusing their poor workers.”

“Nobody cares these days. Put a bow on anything and the media will eat it up.” Jake said, adjusting his tie before slapping his friend on the shoulder. “Ready to ruin some lives? Destroy some young futures?”

“Not funny.” Sunghoon warned, pointing his finger at Jake while trying to tug on his shoes with the other hand. “You know how much I hate the company.”

“Say that as much as you want, but you’re still wearing shoes bought with your daddy’s blood money.” Sunghoon huffed.

“Hm...I suppose you’re right.” he said, putting his hands on his hips.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the ball, Prince Charming.” Jake dragged Sunghoon out of the room by the wrist, locking it behind him, Sunghoon in tow.

Sunghoon sighed. God, how he hated his life. A legacy built on deception, and nothing he could do about it. Him and Jake made their way to the elevators, his dull eyes disappearing behind the closing doors.

He didn’t belong anywhere. Certainly not here.

☆☆☆

On the other side of the city, you were having an entirely different conversation.

“Take that off, Chae.” you said, biting into an apple. Your red lipstick bled into the fruit as you stared judgingly at Chaewon’s enormous diamond necklace.

“But it’s so pretty.” she crossed her arms, but you gave her a stern glance and she turned around to change with a roll of her eyes. “And you, put that out.” you swatted at Jay’s hand, a lit cigarette perched between his two fingers, roiling smoke spilling from the top. “You’re gonna make my new dress smell like smoke.”

“Jeez, what’s got your panties in a twist?” Jay asked, putting out his cigarette on the corner of the coffee table, which made you frown. “No need to stress. You’ve done this business routine a million times over.”

“I’m just nervous, I guess.” you said, hands fidgeting in your lap.

“I thought you didn’t care what the Parks thought about you.”

“I don’t.” you said firmly, tongue poking into the flesh of your left cheek. “I just want things to go smoothly, that’s all.”

“So you’re not gonna stand up to those fuckers that ruined your life? No protest?” Jay asked, resting his chin on his hand. “You always wanted to take them down.”

“Of course I do. But tonight’s not the night.” you sighed, rubbing your forehead, smudging your foundation and cursing when you realized what you had done. “I just want to be put together, just for one night.”

“Well you certainly look the part, honey.” he said, eyes trailing over your floor length red gown. “You’re a proper businesswoman.”

“I hope so.” you laughed.

“You’re gonna kill it. I know it for a fact.” Jay said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before standing. “Now let’s get you to this ball.” You grinned up at him, getting to your feet and brushing the dust off your skirt with determination.

“Let’s show these people who the Queen company is.”

☆☆☆

When the email stated “an intimate gathering”, you didn’t exactly expect nearly 300 people crammed into a dancing hall. The building was bursting at the seams to hold all the milling guests as they sipped on champagne and dined on fine food, laughing boisterously, teeth chattering. You hid your mouth behind the rim of your glass. You didn’t want to talk to a single person tonight.

Across the room, Sunghoon was doing the same. He had just about enough of the noise, and was considering running to the bathroom to hide when his father clapped him on the back and engaged him in a conversation he didn’t care about.

You wished you could escape.

He wished he could escape.

You stood, leaving your empty glass on the tray of a passing waiter as you walked around the crowded hall, searching the crowd for anything of interest. Your eyes landed on the desserts, and you beelined for the table of sugary treats, hoping to at least find a bit of solace in them, head down as you avoided the public eye.

Your hand bumped into another’s when you reached for the tiramisu.

“Oh, excuse me.” he said softly. He was beautiful. Dark eyes, silken hair and pink lips. His posture was straight as a ruler, shoulders back and a kind look on his face. It was almost too cliche, running into this beautiful stranger. 

If only you didn’t know who he was.

You turned to look at him, eyes meeting. “It’s you.” you said, and he stiffened at the sight of your face. “I was wondering when we would meet.”

Sunghoon wasn’t expecting the daughter of the Queen Company to be so beautiful. Sure, he had seen pictures, but they had never done you justice. And putting a face to the name was suddenly making him dizzy.

“Hello.” he said politely, avoiding your eyes as he gulped, throat dry. “I’m Park Sunghoon. Son of the Park company president.”

“Oh, I know who you are.” you waved him off. “No need for introductions between us. Time is valuable, let’s not waste it.”

“And patience is a virtue, so let’s make time.” Sunghoon said, smiling a tight lipped smile with his hands behind his back.

You looked at him skeptically. You didn’t think it was possible for Sunghoon to be more of a prick than you expected him to be, but he had somehow done it.

“Y/n Y/l/n,” you said, holding out your hand for a handshake. “President of the Queen company.” Rather than shaking your hand, Sunghoon bowed his head, his lips brushing over your knuckles as he held your hand, pressing a chaste kiss to it.

“Charmed.” he said, and your brows raised instinctively.

“I’m sure.” you scoffed, pulling your hand away and rubbing it on the side of your dress in disgust. Sunghoon’s eye twitched. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m rather busy.”

“With what, buzzing around the dessert table?”

“With running a business.” you snapped, turning on your heel and walking away as fast as you could. Sunghoon watched, listening to the faint clicking of your off-brand heels against the marble floor, shaking his head the moment you were out of sight.

He totally fucked that up.

“Jesus, that guy is more of an asshole than I thought.” you huffed, taking your assigned seat and placing the desserts you had gathered on the table, Chaewon excitedly reaching for a mango pudding.

“What, is that even possible?” Jay asked, sparking up another cigarette. You swatted the lighter out of his hand, and he scowled.

“Apparently so.” you sighed, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms. You couldn’t wait for this night to end. You could feel eyes on you from all sides, judging, watching your next move. Waiting for you to fuck up, waiting for you to make a mistake or a rash decision they could broadcast to the media.

“I think we started off of on the wrong foot.” you heard a voice say from behind you, and you craned your neck to meet the eyes of Park Sunghoon, yet again. Those damn dark eyes. Swimming with emotion.

“I think there’s a reason for that.” you responded sharply, quick as a whip.

“Let’s start over. What do you say?” he grinned, leaning his head down until he was at your level, ignoring the stares he received from your friends.

“I say I’d rather die than become acquainted with you. Sorry.” you said very unapologetically, pleased with the put-out expression on his face.

“Well,” he said, straightening up and adjusting his jacket indignantly. “Doesn’t someone have an enormous chip on her shoulder.” Your smug expression crashed, morphing into a scowl. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Y/l/n.” With that, he stalked away, nose turned up and an unpleasant look on his face.

“Stupid piece of shit.” Jay said, sparking up his cigarette with the lighter he retrieved from the floor. You didn’t try to stop him, just stewing in your own displeasure. You couldn’t believe that audacious bastard. Was he aware that his family was the sole reason for the ‘enormous chip on your shoulder’?

You tried not to let it get to you, and quickly gave up. Suddenly, this was feeling all too real, and you got to your feet, brushing off your dress, bunching it in your hands. You felt like you were going to throw up.

“Bathroom.” you mumbled, pushing your way past to get to the exit.

☆☆☆

If you didn’t know better, you’d think Park Sunghoon’s spirit was haunting you on purpose. The only thing convincing you otherwise was the fact that he was alive and well –to your chagrin.

You sat, fuming from your office as his snotty face stared at you from a newly mounted billboard across the street, a wide smile on his face as he endorsed some brand of cologne. So not only was he a scumbag businessman, now he was some kind of model? It turned your stomach to think about it.

“I want that billboard down, now.” you grumbled, dropping your head onto your desk in despair as Jay watched you with amusement.

“I can get someone to set it on fire, if you want.”

“Not necessary, but I appreciate the thought.” you said, standing and pacing around the room restlessly. “We need to take them down.” Jay snorted, taking a seat in one of your office chairs, twirling around comfortably.

“What, take down the biggest corporation in the country? It’s not as easy as it seems, honey.” You glared at him, continuing to pace. “Look, don’t get me wrong. I wholeheartedly support your ventures to destroy Park Sunghoon, but don’t you think your fury is a bit misplaced? His father is the one that destroyed your company.”

“Evil by association.” you waved him off. “Plus, he’s rude.”

“Can’t disagree with that.” Jay took a long drag. You hadn’t even noticed that he lit a cigarette, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“You seriously need to stop smoking.”

“I’ll stop when you stop seeking vengeance.”

“...Touche.”

☆☆☆

You seriously needed a vacation from work. After five 16 hour shifts, the exhaustion was beginning to set in. You couldn’t even remember the last time you went out with friends. A couple of years ago, there wasn’t a weekend where you, Jay and Chaewon weren’t in some hole in the wall drinking until you forgot your failures. But ever since your company took off, you didn’t have time for that behavior. But that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy a good dive bar now and then.

You snuck through the entrance of your favorite dive bar on the East side of the city, your slip skirt waving in the wind as you nodded to the security. This was the only bar in South Korea that wouldn’t sell you out to the papers, and besides that, they made a damn good Manhattan.

There were less than 10 people in the whole place, an odd couple here or there and some folks in need of a pick-me-up. You took a seat in the middle of the bar, your usual seat at the end taken by a sodden boy with a big hood that covered his face.

“Hey, Won.” you greeted the bartender as he wiped his hands with a towel, smiling at your entrance.

“Hey, y/n.” he said, throwing the towel over his shoulder. You heard the man beside you stir. “Manhattan?”

“You know it.” Jungwon reached for a bottle of whiskey, expertly mixing and measuring like it was muscle memory, finishing your cocktail with a flourish and sliding it over the counter. You had gone to high school with Jungwon and Sunoo, the two men who owned the bar, and had been friends ever since. You trusted them.

“How’s the business?” he asked, leaning with his elbows resting on the marble. “Saw you on the news the other day. Said you stormed out of the Park’s gala.”

You sighed, “Yeah. It’s been a tough week.”

“I hear that,” he said, straightening up with a grin. “You’ll get through it, stronger than ever. You always do.” you smiled, pressing the rim of the glass to your lips.

“Thanks, Won.”

“No problem. Just kick those greedy bitches in the ass for me.” That elicited a chuckle from you, Jungwon smiling upon hearing your laugh. “I’ll go get Sunny. I’m sure he’ll wanna say hi.”

“I’d love that.” you said gratefully, watching as Jungwon weaved around the back of the bar and into the back room. You looked down, sipping your drink, lost in thought.

“What are you doing here?” A grating, angry voice interrupted your haze. You turned to the boy sitting beside you, and it felt like you lost your buzz in an instant.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” you said, staring into the dark eyes of your nemesis yet again, this time foggy with drunkeness. “You seriously had to find the one place where I could escape your face?” he asked bitterly, taking another swig of his vodka soda.

“My face? There’s a sixty foot billboard of your face outside my window.” you grumbled, and he snorted gracelessly. You could tell by his hoodie being pulled forward and his bangs covering most of his face that he was trying to hide, just like you. “I’ve been going to this bar for four years.”

“Lucky you. I just found it last week.” he took another sip. You suddenly felt silly sitting multiple stools away from him, but you’d be damned before moving closer. “This is the only place that won’t sell me out to the press,” he sighed. “And their bartender is pretty damn good.” You observed the four empty glasses sitting beside him, the way he was slurring his words. Clearly he had come here for the same reason you had.

“Won’s a pro.” you said, averting your eyes. The Sunghoon before you was throwing you off. He had humanity, and you hated it. It gave you a reason to hate him a little less than before.

Jungwon emerged from the back, a bright faced brunette in tow. Grateful for the excuse to end the conversation with Sunghoon, you leapt out of your seat and rounded the bar to pull the man into a hug.

“Hey, Sunny!” you said brightly, and he grinned.

“I didn’t get a hug.” Jungwon rolled his eyes, reaching for a bottle of tequila to complete another order.

“How’ve you been?” Sunoo asked, releasing you to get a good look at your face. “Wow, it’s been awhile since you’ve been in here. You look all adult-like.” You scoffed, brushing him off. “Where’s Jay and Chae? I haven’t seen them in months.”

“I didn’t tell them I was coming.” you admitted.

“Ah, one of those nights?” he asked, and you nodded. “You busy working? I’ve seen you in the news, the company’s looking good.” Sunghoon snorted from beside you, and you resisted the urge to glare.

“Pretty busy, yeah. The business world is a battlefield right now.” you said with a pointed look at the man beside you who slammed his glass down on the counter.

“Another.” he muttered, and Jungwon looked him up and down skeptically.

“I think you’re done for the night. I’ve gotta cut you off.” Won said decisively, and Sunghoon looked up at him with glassy eyes.

“Fuck, whatever.” he said, getting up from his seat and drunkenly stumbling, tripping as he dismounted from the stool, using the counter to steady himself.

“He doesn’t look so good.” Sunoo said quietly, and you watched him, poking your tongue into the flesh of your cheek in confliction.

“You need help?” Jungwon said, ready to assist as he clapped a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder, but the older boy shook him off frustratedly.

“I’m fine, get your hands off of me.” he stuttered, swiping at him.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help.” Jungwon said defensively, shaking his head as Sunghoon tried, failing, to make his way to the door. You huffed, setting your drink down and abandoning the last sip as you made your way to him.

“Hey, stop being an idiot. Let’s get you a taxi.” you chastised, and he scowled.

“I don’t want help from you.” Sunghoon mumbled, and you rolled your eyes.

“You’re drunk, Sunghoon. It’d be a nightmare if the news caught you wandering on the street.” That made him think, and he begrudgingly wrapped an arm around your shoulders, refusing to speak.

“You need help?” Sunoo called after you, and you waved back at him.

“Don’t worry, I know him. Put the Manhattan on my tab.”

“It’s on the house, angel. Get home safe.” Jungwon said, and you sent him a grateful wave as you attempted to get Sunghoon out the door, shutting it behind you.

“Why are you doing this?” Sunghoon said, almost incoherent. “You could’ve sold me out to the press. To get your revenge.” You pondered his question, then shrugged.

“I can’t say I don’t want to.” you admitted. “But you’re vulnerable right now. I know what it feels like to be blindsided when you’re defenseless. I wouldn’t do that to anyone. Clearly not even my worst enemy.” Sunghoon snorted.

“You’re a good person.” he mumbled, his eyes practically closed with the weight of his exhaustion and intoxication.

“Take notes.” you chuckled as you texted your driver, simultaneously attempting to get Sunghoon over to a bench. “I called a car for you, so just sit tight.” You both sat in silence, staring into the dark city, breath fogging in the air.

“I am sorry, y’know.” Sunghoon said, nose and cheeks red from the cold air. “About what my father did. I never would have condoned it if I had the power to stop him.” You stared at him blankly, before the corners of your lips turned up.

“Thanks. You must really be drunk.” He chuckled in response.

“Yeah, maybe.” He shook his head.

“Y’know, Sunghoon,” you started. “I hope you run the company the way you think it should be run. Stand up for yourself.” He didn’t respond to that, just staring at the floor, twiddling his thumbs. 

“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “I think I will.” A car pulled up to the curb, and you sighed in relief. Sunghoon stood up, insisting he was fine when you tried to help.

“Goodbye, Sunghoon.” He looked back at you in silence, before nodding.

“Get home safe.” And with that, he shut the door of the car, the engine rumbling as he turned the corner and disappeared into the night.

☆☆☆

Park Sunghoon was an idiot. And he was finally beginning to accept it.

He woke up with a pounding headache, grimacing and gripping his forehead in pain. It felt like there was an 80 decibel bass pounding his head, and he blamed it all on the vodka soda. And you, of course. You were making his head spin.

He stumbled out of bed, attempting to shove his feet into the slippers next to his bed, confused to find that they were pink and at least three sizes too small.

“Morning, sunshine.” a feminine voice called, and Sunghoon was beginning to realize that this wasn’t his home at all. He froze as a beautiful young woman stepped out from the bathroom, a lush robe wrapped around her body. “Feeling sober?”

“How did I get here?” Sunghoon asked, dropping back onto the bed as the woman snickered, reaching into her closet.

“You were on the floor whining and crying outside the office building. I took you home when the press got wind of your theatrics. Remind me to get a key to your apartment copied if you’re gonna keep acting like this.”

“You don’t need a key, Yunjin. Don’t be stupid.” Sunghoon rubbed his head, frustrated. He didn’t even remember going to the office in the first place, much less being picked up by her; aka the daughter of his father’s closest business partner, aka the woman he was predicted to wed if all things went his family’s way.

He wasn’t partial to the idea. Neither was she.

“A thank you would be nice.” Yunjin rolled her eyes, emerging from the closet fully dressed, already on the phone and pulling on a pair of high heels. “Now get out of my apartment. I have to get to work.” She tossed him a key and a fresh tee shirt from her closet. “Get dressed and lock up when you’re done.”

“Got it.” Sunghoon said, rubbing his eyes and pulling the tee shirt over his head. Yunjin looked back at him, tongue poking into her cheek.

“My mother still wants me to marry you, y’know.”

“Well she and my mother have that in common.” He rolled his eyes. She frowned.

“You’re too careless, Sunghoon.” The door shut, and Sunghoon was left to think about her words. His mind raced as he recalled the night before.

Your kindness.

Your smile.

How he apologized and didn’t think twice.

He shook his head, shuffling to the kitchen and opening the fridge, the cold tile pressing against his feet. Maybe he was too careless.

☆☆☆

The room felt stuffy, and so did your nose. You wondered if you were catching a cold, or if you were just allergic to business dinners.

“Hey, y/n.” Jake said, taking a seat beside you. You wiped your nose, flashing him a tight smile.

“Hey.” you replied, looking at your lap. Jake was one of the rare people you respected, and part of that was due to his company’s failure, like yours. He had built it back up to its former glory, but remained humble. You didn’t mind him. He was sweet.

“You seem bored.” he said, watching as you stared at the floor, clearly ambivalent toward what was happening around you.

“Astute observation.” you chuckled under your breath.

“I get it. These dinners can seem like a chore.” he said, picking up his wine glass by the stem. “Trust me, I’ve been going to them since I was six.”

“Lucky you.” you snickered. “Why do you even bother?” “Sunghoon always drags me here one way or another.” Your mood visibly dampened at the mention of his name, and you took a sip of your wine, hiding your mouth behind the lip of your glass. “How are things between you two?”

“If he dropped dead, I wouldn’t cry at his funeral.” you cleared your throat.

“But you wouldn’t cheer either?” Jake grinned, and you rolled your eyes.

“Whatever.”

“Baby steps.” he laughed, and you failed to suppress a smile. “I’m happy nonetheless. It’s nice to see you get along.” You wiped your nose again.

“That’s a stretch.” you scoffed. As if summoned to disprove you, the presence of Park Sunghoon suddenly entered your view, his hands tucked into his pockets. You couldn’t help but notice how nice he looked when his hair was pushed back.

“Mind if I borrow the lady for a moment?” he cleared his throat and Jake stood, flashing you a knowing look when Sunghoon wasn’t watching.

“Point taken.” you grumbled, as Jake snickered to himself, making himself busy on the other side of the room. After a moment of hesitation, Sunghoon took his seat.

“Hi.” he said slowly, and you nodded in acknowledgement. The energy was painfully awkward. “Um, I just wanted to say sorry about the other night. I haven’t really gotten a chance to contact you or anything, but I am sorry, and I should’ve called-”

“It’s fine.” you said tightly, shaking your head. “It happens.”

“Not to me.” he said defensively. “Look, I only apologize once in a blue moon, so just let it happen.” That elicited a chuckle from you.

“Alright. I accept your apology.” you said amusedly, and he let out a sigh of relief. You watched him blow a piece of hair out of his face, his lips parting for a moment to let out a breath. You averted your eyes when he caught you staring. He truly was beautiful.

Sunghoon’s thoughts were similar at the moment. While you avoided his gaze, he watched the way your eyelashes batted, pushing a strand of hair out of your face.

“I gotta go.” Sunghoon cleared his throat, and you nodded, eager for his exit. “Um. I’ll see you around, I guess.”

“Don’t sound so excited.” you said sardonically, and he rolled his eyes as he got up, giving you a dramatic bow as he walked away and towards another table. You watched him leave, eyes following his graceful figure and the way he smiled.

“You want to fuck him so bad.”

“Ew, Chae!” you yelped at the sudden interruption, waving off the smug girl leaning on your shoulder. “No way. Me and him? No, never. Don’t be silly.”

“Whatever you say.” she shrugged, taking his seat as she sipped on her third glass of red wine. “But the eyes don’t lie.” You glared up at her.

“I seriously hate you.”

☆☆☆

Three clinks of a wine glass, and your attention was at the front of the room. Sunghoon seemed to be giving a speech, and you brought your eyes to the stage. When you realized he was already looking at you, an unfamiliar feeling flooded your stomach. It felt something like dread.

“Welcome, everybody.” Sunghoon said, smiling warmly into the crowd, met with applause and good natured whoops. His father, however, was looking at him like he had just killed his cat, leading you to believe he wasn’t intended to make this speech.

And you were right. Sunghoon’s heart was pounding in his chest as he stared into the hordes, some faces familiar, some not.

“I’d like to thank you all for being here today.” Sunghoon said. “And I’d like to make a toast to the company and all of its potential. All it has accomplished, and all it will continue to accomplish.” The clinking of glasses resounded through the room as your frown deepened, your arms crossing over your chest. “And I would like to say, as the heir to the Park legacy, that I will try my hardest to steer this company towards kindness.” he said, with a fleeting glance towards you. “And so, cheers to the Park company. And cheers to ushering in a new era of ethical business.” The crowd, while mildly confused, burst into applause, their glasses rattling, champagne and wine alike spilling over the rims as people took celebratory gulps.

You shook your head, picking up the hem of your dress as you stood, walking to the exit with a smile on your face.

You sat on the steps outside the building, your knees pressed to your chest as you took a long drag of your cigarette. You told yourself you would quit, but something was itching at you that you couldn’t quite scratch, and nicotine seemed to do the trick momentarily. You were yearning for some peace.

“Flighty, aren’t you?” An amused voice said, the sound of light footsteps preceding it. You turned around, exhaling when you saw Sunghoon’s face towering over you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“Nice speech.” you said, ignoring his comment.

“You mean that?”

“I do, actually.” Sunghoon chuckled, seating himself beside you with a grunt. “I didn’t say you could sit with me.”

“I don’t need your permission.” Sunghoon scoffed, folding his knees. You glared at him, but didn’t protest, taking another drag. “Put that out. I hate smoke.”

“I don’t need your permission.” you mocked him.

“Touche.” he said, resting his chin on his knees. “I suppose the both of us are equally headstrong.”

“Trust me, I’m more stubborn.” you laughed, ashing your cigarette and watching the sparks hit the floor. After a moment, you stubbed it out against the bottom of your shoe, rubbing the dark ash off with your thumb. Sunghoon noticed, but said nothing.

“I meant what I said in my speech, y’know. It wasn’t just to impress you.” you snorted at that. “I mean it! I do want to reform the company.”

“That’s admirable.” you nodded. “I’m glad to see my words had an effect.”

“Me too. See? I’ve only spent a couple days with you and I’m already becoming a better person.” Both of you went silent at his words, his eyes widening as he realized what he said. But he didn’t take it back, the two of you staring, searching through each other's eyes. You hesitated to say something, but there was no hesitation when he reached out for you, your lips colliding as he kissed you.

His hand ghosted across the back of your neck, resting at your nape, making the hairs rise. Your skin felt like it was on fire as he tilted his head, pulling you closer, one of his hands resting on your waist, his thumb rubbing over the fabric of your dress. After a breathless moment, you pulled away. Both of you stared at each other in silence, panting to regain your breath, hungry for more, but hesitating.

After a second, Sunghoon’s swollen lips split into a grin, and he began to laugh, leaning back on his hands as he snickered. You heaved out a sigh, but you couldn’t hold back the smile on your face.

“You are so fucking annoying.”

☆☆☆

You now had Park Sunghoon’s number. It had been three days since you kissed, and you hadn’t yet texted him. You wondered if he assumed you would.

But you didn’t have time to worry about that now. You had work to do.

“Jay, I need you to run a diagnostic on the hotel website and check for errors. And Chaewon, please call Mr. Choi, for the millionth time, and request some new cleaners. We need three dozen rooms cleaned before 10:0o pm.” you said, flipping through a checklist. You had been buzzing around your office drinking coffee and handling busy work since 4 am. It was sufficient to say that you were in business mode. “And both of you, be quick about it. I have a million more tasks to take care of.”

“Okay, Mom.” Jay rolled his eyes, getting out of his seat on the couch and you sent him a quick glare. “Since when have you taken anything seriously?”

“If you haven’t noticed, I have a business to run these days.” you said facetiously, and Jay placed an apologetic kiss on your cheek before running out of the door. “You too, Chae.” She shut her laptop, sending you a quick salute.

The minute the room was empty, you dropped onto your chair, letting your head loll backwards, closing your eyes. The minute you opened them, you were confronted with the enormous, cheesy grin of Park Sunghoon facing you from the billboard across the street. You huffed, getting to your feet and tugging down the blinds with a frown.

You could not get him out of your head.

As you sat in silence, stewing with rage at the fact that Sunghoon, of all people, was occupying your headspace, your landline rang, the little light flashing green as the phone vibrated. You picked it up with a sigh.

“Y/n speaking.”

“Why haven’t you called?” You froze, slamming the phone down and hanging up as quickly as your hands would move. That infuriating, smug voice, you’d recognize it anywhere. You stared at the phone blankly until it began to ring again, and after a moment of reluctance, you picked it up again. “What exactly is your problem?”

“How’d you get my number?” you said exhaustedly, spinning in your chair and getting tangled in the phone cord.

“I called your secretary.” you internally cursed Chaewon, letting out a deep breath through your nose. “I gave you my number so you’d text, you know.”

“I’m busy.”

“I’m busy too. I still found the time to call.”

“I wish you wouldn’t have.” you quipped. “What, you wanna see me?” You could hear him chuckle from the other end.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. Vice prez told me you’ve been waiting on upper management’s approval for your budget. I’m here to take care of it.”

“Oh.” you replied embarrassedly, crossing your arms.

“Aw, don’t sound so disappointed, sweetheart.” he tutted. “We’re sending a representative over tonight to discuss business.”

“I’m assuming that’s you.” you said, and he hummed in response. “I look forward to it. And by the way, we aren’t close enough for pet names.” You hung up without allowing him time for a reply, taking a moment to collect yourself before you straightened your jacket and got back to work, a deep frown on your face.

Sunghoon, on the other end, was grinning like a fool.

☆☆☆

Three knocks resounded from your door, and you looked up from your laptop for the first time in hours, cracking your neck in the process. Rubbing the back of your neck, you called out into the empty room.

“Come in!” you said, and Chaewon’s head peeked through the door, her black bob swishing as she walked inside, her pink heels clicking against the floor.

“Park Sunghoon is here to see you.” she said, and you sighed, looking down once again. “He’s in the lobby. Says he’s getting impatient.”

“Let him in.” you waved her off, and she nodded. “Oh, and Chae? Give out my number one more time, and you’re so fired.” She grinned coyly, blowing you a kiss as she slipped through the door. You rolled your eyes. You were beginning to wonder if you had a single competent employee in your entire company.

It didn’t take long for Sunghoon to find your office. It felt like the air chilled when he walked through the door.

“Hey,” he said warmly in greeting, his hands tucked into his pockets. He looked incredibly handsome in his tailored gray suit. You slapped yourself on the forehead internally, shifting in your chair uncomfortably. You were acting like an idiot.

“Hi.” you said tightly, straightening a pile of papers. He dropped onto the couch, kicking his feet up on the table. “Make yourself at home.” you said sarcastically.

He grinned, “Let’s talk business, sweetheart.”

“Remember what I said about the pet names?” you reminded him, getting up from your desk and slipping into the chair across from him.

“Aw, c’mon. Loosen up,” he urged you, leaning forward in his seat. “Now, whaddya got for me?” You looked down at the stack of papers in your hand.

“Well, due to necessary improvements, budget has increased this year. We’re in the process of funding a new computer system, and we’ll definitely need more support if we want to expand the branch in Seongbuk-gu. So, I’d say we’re looking at a couple hundred thousand, minimum.” you explained, sorting through your files.

“Boring.” Sunghoon mimed a yawn, standing up and walking to the makeshift bar on your side panel, unscrewing a bottle of whiskey.

“Can you please take this seriously?” you asked exasperatedly.

“I am,” he said defensively, pouring a sizable glass of whiskey. “I’m more of a vodka guy myself. I’ll have someone go on a grocery run next week and get you stocked.”

“Sunghoon.” you deadpanned, and he rolled his eyes.

“Aw, c’mon y/n. Aren’t I supposed to be the uptight one, and you the free willed?”

“You seem free willed enough for the two of us.” you grumbled.

“Alright,” he said, moving to sit back down on the couch. “I have a confession to make.” You stared at him expectantly. “Management approved the budget. I sent off the form yesterday and it was done by 9:00 am this morning.” You raised a brow.

“So…”

“So I came here just to see you, yes.” You smirked, and he groaned in annoyance before you even had a chance to respond.

“I fucking knew it!” you laughed, and he took a sip of his drink. “Park Sunghoon, you are a player.”

“Whatever.” he sassed, standing back up to refill his glass. “Promise to call me next time, and I won’t have to make any surprise visits.”

“I can’t make any promises.” you grinned. “But you can make me a drink.” He looked at you for a moment before chuckling, pouring a second glass of whiskey with a splash of sweet vermouth and bitters for a makeshift Manhattan.

“There’s no cherry, but I did my best.” he said, handing it to you.

“You remembered.” you said warmly, and he nodded. You took a sip. It was a bit too sweet for your taste, but you didn’t mind. You were smiling so brightly, he was itching with the urge to kiss your cheek, so he did. Your smile fell as you rubbed your cheek, Sunghoon avoiding eye contact with you as he sat back down.

You sat across from each other in momentary silence. The window was open, and the night air brushed against your cheeks. Sunghoon’s nose was pink from the cold.

“Do you like me, Sunghoon?” you asked, breaking the silence. He stared.

“Whoah,” he chuckled nervously, slender fingers toying with the rim of his cup. “You get straight to the point, huh?” You didn’t respond. “Let’s not talk about it.” You thought for a minute, before nodding, folding your knees and resting your chin on them.

“I’m okay with that.”

☆☆☆

Surprisingly enough, your friendship with Park Sunghoon was persistent if nothing else. In front of the press you still acted like enemies—you both agreed it was better for your respective companies if nobody knew you had become unlikely companions. But behind closed doors, you would smile when you saw him entering a room, and he would call you on a late night after a hard day of work.

Tonight was one of those nights. 

You tore your eyes away from your phone lighting up the black night, ringing on the table. You and Jay were sitting on the fire escape of your apartment complex, passing a lit cigarette back and forth and watching the smoke disappear into the evening sky. You could see all of Seoul from the penthouse.

“You gonna answer that?” Jay asked smugly, taking a long drag as he watched you stare at your phone in conflict. You turned it over.

“Nope.” you said, reaching for the cigarette and taking a drag until you felt lightheaded. “I don’t have time for him tonight.”

“You seem to be spending a lot of time together lately.” Jay replied, and you glared at him. “Hey, I’m not poking fun. I’m genuinely curious.” You turned away, staring at the glimmering skyline. “You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?”

“No.” you brought the cig to your lips again. “No, I haven’t.”

“Then what is it?” “...I don’t know.” you admitted. Watching the cigarette burn into ashes in your unmoving hand, Jay began to light his own. “I used to hate him so much, Jay. And now, he’s something completely different than what I thought. He’s a good person.” you turned to look at the boy sitting beside you.

“I know,” he affirmed. “I know.”

“So,” you said, remembering your cigarette and ashing it on the railing, watching the gray ash fall to the ground several stories below. “What now?” Jay took a drag.

“I think that’s for you to decide, y/n. I think you’ve earned the right to let go.” His words touched you. Had you finally worked hard enough to look past those who had wronged you? You had achieved everything you dreamed of, and more.

Were you finally more than your own vengeance?

You didn’t respond, only grabbing your phone and wrapping your jacket a little tighter around your body to protect yourself from the cold breeze.

“I think I’m gonna call him.” you announced, and Jay chuckled.

“I had a feeling,” he said, stretching. “I’m gonna head home. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.” you said, watching as Jay walked out the door, giving you a little salute before shutting it behind him. You sighed, staring at your phone.

3 Missed Calls From Park Sunghoon.

You hesitated for a moment before pressing the call button, letting your phone rest on your lap as it rang. He picked up on the second ring.

���Hey.” his muffled voice said through the phone.

“Hey.” you responded.

“I’m outside.” Your eyes widened, and you immediately ran to the edge of the fire escape, peering down to the entrance of your apartment building. Surely enough, there he was, his back resting against the wall, polished shoes tapping against the concrete.

“How long have you been waiting for?” you called, and he looked up, his face barely a speck from so high up.

“Not long.” he responded.

“How’d you know I’d answer?” you could barely make out his grin in the dark.

“You always do.” you rolled your eyes, retreating inside and tugging on a pair of flats. You took the elevator down, and when you entered the lobby, Sunghoon’s solemn face was the first thing you saw. His nose and cheeks were tinted red from the cold, and his hair was messy from the wind. You smiled, tucking your hands into your pockets.

“You wanna come upstairs?” you asked. “I’ll make tea.”

“Tea sounds nice.” he said quietly, smiling as he followed you to the elevator.

This was the first time Sunghoon had seen your apartment, and he was fascinated to say the least. As you fussed over the boiling water and choosing the right tea, he toyed with the perfumes on your coffee table, running his hands along your brown leather couch and smelling the fresh flowers you kept in glass vases. He was enchanted by this little space you had created for yourself. His apartment was just a bachelor pad, filled with expensive furniture and lacking life.

“I like your apartment.” he said, staring at a print of Marilyn Monroe that you kept on your wall. “It’s stylish.”

“Thanks. You want jasmine or oolong?”

“Jasmine, please. And bring a shot of vodka with it.” You snorted, pulling out two tea bags and pouring two shots, bringing them to the coffee table.

“So, what brings you to my side of the city?” you asked.

“I had a hard day.” Sunghoon knocked back the shot of vodka, wiping his lips. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” you said, throwing back your shot and setting the small glass cup on the table. You didn’t want to think of the implications of Sunghoon coming over in the middle of the night without any warning. It made your head hurt.

“I’m finding that, as of late,” Sunghoon began. “That you have a somewhat calming presence in my life.” You froze. “Lately I’ve been under a lot of stress, with remodeling the company and everything. My father’s been giving me hell about my new policies. I don’t think he likes my idea of ‘ethical new business’.” He let out a large exhale. “At the end of the day, you’re really the only one who understands me.” He smiled bittersweetly. “And, well, I’m grateful for your company lately. Spending time with you has been the only thing keeping me sane. It’s hard to imagine that we ever hated each other.”

You couldn’t think of a single thing to say. You felt like your heart was rising in your throat, and you cleared it, attempting to collect yourself. Sunghoon chuckled, looking at the floor with red cheeks.

“Is it cool that I said all that?” he said after a moment of silence. “Cause I know that it’s delicate.”

“Y’know, I used to hate you more than anyone in the world.” you laughed gently. “But I agree with you. These days, you’re the only thing keeping me sane.” Sunghoon gazed at you, but you were looking into your cup of tea. “And yeah, it’s delicate. But I don’t really care what anyone thinks but you.” You met his eyes. Those damn dark eyes. Swimming with emotion. And they were trained quite blatantly on your lips.

Before you could register it, he was reaching for your face, his rough palm caressing the soft skin of your cheek, pulling you into his embrace as he kissed you gently, his other hand on your waist.

You had kissed before, but nothing had felt as intimate as the moment you were sharing now. Those past kisses had been a fleeting moment, an impulse decision, but now Sunghoon was kissing you like you were the only thing in the universe, like you were all that mattered. His grip on your waist was bruising, as though he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go. You felt drunk on love and vodka, shifting yourself onto his lap as you tangled your hands in his hair. You were both breathless, hearts racing as you held each other tightly, losing yourselves in the taste of each other’s lips.

Sunghoon pulled away, his lips splitting into a smug smile as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, your lips red and swollen as you attempted to catch your breath.

“Remember when you asked if I liked you?” he asked, hands trailing over your bare thighs, eyes trained on the way your eyes twinkled under the dim lighting and the thin tank top you were wearing underneath your jacket. “Well, I think I have my answer now.” you licked your lips, before grinning.

“You’re an asshole, Sunghoon.”

“Then I’m really lucky you like me.”

☆☆☆

You woke up to two things; Sunghoon’s face, and the sound of yelling.

His eyes were closed, his full lips slightly parted as he let out gentle snores, his dark hair sticking up. As much as you wanted to admire the way the morning light hit his skin, you stood up and walked to your balcony, peeking outside.

You yelped, slamming your glass doors shut as you ran inside, pulling on a pair of sweats, simultaneously shaking Sunghoon awake.

“Sunghoon, get up. The paparazzi are here.” you said frantically, attempting to retrieve a shirt from your closet when a pair of strong arms pulled you back into bed.

“Five more minutes.” he groaned from under the covers, and you fought back a smile, attempting to pry his grip off of you. His hands made their way to the straps of your bra, pulling and letting it snap back onto your skin. “Lace, huh? I didn’t notice.”

“I’m not kidding, get up.” you said, pushing him off of you and running to your closet to grab the top half of your tracksuit, pulling it over your head.

“What’s the rush?” he said, finally sitting up, ears perking when he heard the loud voices coming from outside. Peering out the window, his eyes widening.

“Oh shit,” he cursed, getting to his feet and hurriedly pulling on his shirt. “How’d they find us?” You shook your head, biting your lip as you thought about what to do.

“Not sure, but we should try to preserve our image.” you grabbed a snapback from your nightstand, putting it on his head to cover his face. “You go out the back, I’ll curse them out and keep ‘em distracted.”

“What happened to preserving your image?” he snorted, buckling his belt.

“Well, my reputation’s never been worse.” you said, tapping him on the nose. “So you must like me for me.” He smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

“Mm, I do.” he said, before tugging on his shoes. He blew you a kiss before running out your front door, shutting it behind him, making sure it didn’t slam. You watched him leave, your fingers tracing where he had kissed you, and you smiled for a moment before collecting yourself.

“Hey!” you yelled, stomping towards the paparazzi stationed outside the lobby of your apartment. They immediately whirled in your direction, cameras flashing as they all fought to get their questions out. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Ms. Y/l/n!” a reporter yelled. “Are you aware of the rising scandal between you and Park Sunghoon?” You scrunched up your nose.

“Park Sunghoon?” you repeated in disgust.

“Sunghoon was reported to have arrived at your home at midnight last night! Do you have anything to say to these accusations?”

“Do I have anything to say?” you scoffed. “You must be mistaken. Park Sunghoon is a pig, just like the rest of his family. I hope the media understands that I do not, and never will, have anything to do with a pompous asshole like him.” The paparazzi erupted into questions and flashing cameras, but you turned on your heel and sashayed back inside, waving them off as the sliding doors closed behind you, drowning out the noise.

On your face you wore a grimace.

☆☆☆

A newspaper slammed onto Sunghoon’s desk, his drowsy eyes snapping open at the sound. “‘Park Sunghoon is a pig, just like the rest of his family!’ States Queen Corporation’s CEO After Being Accused of an Illicit Affair with the Park Company’s Son”, stated the title. Sunghoon smiled momentarily, but his amused expression dropped when he saw the furious face of his father towering over him.

“Would you like to explain this?” he asked, his tone deceptively calm. Sunghoon was smart enough to know that meant he was enraged.

“Um, is there anything to explain?” Sunghoon said timidly. “She said it herself, we’re not involved.” Sunghoon’s father rubbed his temples.

“Well, obviously, Sunghoon. I’d hope you’re smart enough to not get involved with the one woman who could ruin our company.” Sunghoon winced internally. “We must do something about this issue. Y/n is the only threat to our company.”

“Surely she’ll leave us alone if we don’t encroach upon her business.” he attempted to reason, but his father looked at him as though he had gone insane.

“Absolutely not. We’ll have to speed up your engagement to Huh Yunjin.” Sunghoon leapt out of his seat.

“Father, you can’t be serious!” he said in disbelief.

“I won’t hear any complaints. The Huhs own the largest company in Korea, second to ourselves, and we can’t afford to make an enemy out of them. Merging our companies will give us total dominion over the business world.” his father said with finality. “Not to mention their only heir is a woman. We’ll control their company through you.” Sunghoon bit his lip.

“But I don’t want to marry her.” His father shook his head.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.”

☆☆☆

A newspaper slammed onto your desk.

“Park Sunghoon, a pig? A likely story.” Jay snorted, slipping into the seat across from you. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, picking up the newspaper. “Late night, huh? So it must be true.”

“Shut up.” you said, but you couldn’t hold back the smile on your face. “Guess I went a little overboard, but it makes for a good story.” Jay raised his brows at you, taking a sip of his coffee. “Will you stop looking at me like that?”

“I think you’ve got a little crush.” He said in a sing-song voice. You snorted.

“I’m a grown woman, Jay. Us hooking up doesn’t mean I have feelings for him.” Jay shrugged.

“Say whatever you want, but it’s obvious that you like Park Sunghoon. There’s no denying it.” You were about to respond when your phone rang, and you shooed Jay out of your office as he mimed kissing childishly.

“Hello?” you asked, and a familiar voice responded.

“A pig, huh? A pompous asshole?” Sunghoon spoke smugly.

“I did what I had to do.” you shrugged, spinning in your office chair.

“Mm, sure.” he said, holding his phone to his ear with his shoulder as he jotted down notes. “Well, Ms. Y/l/n, I’m calling to let you know that the Parks are throwing a very exclusive fundraising gala tomorrow, and there’s an empty seat for a certain CEO if she’s so inclined.” you snorted.

“Oh, really? And would your family like to see me there?” “A little trouble would do them some good. Plus, I want to see you.” You blushed on the other side of the phone, covering your mouth with your hand. “And I’ve booked a private reservation for two at the shittiest bar on the East side,” he joked. “So?”

You thought for a moment. After your recent statement in the news, walking into a Park gala would be like walking into a den of tigers. But since when had you been afraid of stirring the corporate pot?

“I’ll be there.” you promised, and Sunghoon grinned, tucking a pen between his lips. “I should look for a dress.”

“I’ll have it taken care of.” He twirled his pen. “Just wait for my call.”

“See you tomorrow then.” you grinned.

“See you tomorrow, m’lady.”

☆☆☆

It was three hours and counting until the Parks’ big gala. You stared at the wall ahead of you while Chaewon tried on countless lavish dresses and Jay sorted through piles of patterned ties. Sunghoon had assured you that you could bring your closest friends, but you weren’t certain that his family would appreciate your troupe of misanthropes intruding upon their event.

“Cheetah print, or zebra print?” Chaewon asked you, holding two dresses against her body. You shook your head, biting the nail of your thumb.

“Neither. Pick something nice, Chae.”

“This is nice.” she protested, but put the dresses down and continued to look around. Jay noticed the way you stared vacantly ahead, stressfully chewing your nails, and he set down his ties, scooching in closer.

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked cautiously. “Nervous?”

“I couldn’t care less what those people think about me.” you said, and Jay chuckled at your classic behavior.

“Okay, so. What’s wrong?” His eyes held concern as he rubbed his thumb along your arm, and you sighed heavily.

“I do care what he thinks. And that’s the problem.” Jay let out a quiet sound of understanding. “I don’t understand. Why do I even care about him? The only thing on my mind for the past six years has been destroying that family.”

“Y/n,” he began. “You don’t have to punish yourself for forgiving someone.” You stopped biting your nails. “Especially someone with no fault in the situation.”

“But he’s one of them.” you mumbled.

“Does he seem like a good person?” Jay asked. Your eyes made contact for a moment, before you nodded and quickly looked away. “Then that’s all that matters.” You considered his words for a moment, before sighing, folding your hands.

“You’re right, you’re right. Thanks Jay.” 

“I’m always gonna be here for you. Try not to worry.” He patted you lightly on the back as he stood, and you gave him a tight smile. Your eyes were drawn to your bed, snug in the corner of your apartment, a large bag lying on top. Fabric peeked out from beneath the top, a shining sapphire blue. You held your head in your hands.

Trying not to worry was proving to be impossible.

On the other side of the city, Sunghoon was tightening his tie.

“You finally learned how to tie a tie.” Jake snorted, but Sunghoon didn’t laugh. He was staring vacantly out the window and into the horizon, zoned out on the skyline. “Hello? Earth to Sunghoon?”

“What?” Sunghoon snapped out of his trance, whipping around.

“Something on your mind?” Jake tucked his hands into the pockets of his ironed blazer. They were both dressed in their nicest suits in preparation for the night’s events. Sunghoon shook his head.

“I can’t stop thinking about her.” Sunghoon admitted, and Jake grew serious. “This whole time, I feel like I’ve been looking for something deeper than just being the heir to this bullshit company. When I’m with her…I feel like I found something real.” “Sunghoon,” Jake said tenderly. “As of a couple days ago, you’re engaged.” Sunghoon sighed. “You can’t do that to y/n.”

“I don’t want to get married.” Sunghoon said, his voice breaking, which he quickly covered up with a cough. “I don’t want to marry Yunjin, and she definitely doesn’t want to marry me.”

“As sad as it is, you don’t have a choice.” Jake said sympathetically. “I know you’re upset. But just try to keep it together for tonight.”

“Yeah, got it.” Sunghoon scoffed, fidgeting, adjusting his cufflinks. “After 21 years, I’ve become accustomed to putting away my emotions for my father’s benefit.” Jake watched sadly as his best friend adjusted his jacket, shaking his head before exiting his room and striding downstairs to where the gala was taking place.

☆☆☆

Your eyes scanned the luxurious room, full of familiar but unwelcoming faces. Chandeliers were draped from ceilings twenty feet high, crystals glimmering in the golden glow, sending fractals of light spiraling around the room. You were receiving dirty looks from every corner of the ballroom, judgemental whispers echoing. You tried your best to tune it out. Jay stood behind you, glaring back tenfold at every disapproving partygoer, Chaewon oblivious to it all as she enjoyed the decadence.

You needed to find Sunghoon or you would lose your mind.

His face shone from the other side of the room, and when your eyes connected it was like the rest of the world fell away. His warm, brown eyes captivated you as he quickly left whatever conversation he was a part of, weaving through the crowd to get to you. He was breathless by the time he made it through the sea of people.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” you responded unsteadily, looking over your shoulder to see his father watching you with a fierce glare. “Sunghoon, I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Since when have you cared what everyone else thinks?” he said with a bittersweet grin, and you chuckled, some of the tension relieved. “C’mon, I’ll show you the dance floor.” He tugged on your hand, whisking you away. You attempted to hide your face as you left with him.

Jake watched you leave, sipping gin from a crystal glass. Jay approached his side, picking up a bottle and emptying its contents into the largest glass he could find.

“They’re so fucked.” Jake said without thinking.

“I don’t know,” Jay said, taking a swig. “They seem like they really love each other. Who says love doesn’t conquer all?” “The business world.” Jake chuckled, looking at his reflection in the bottom of his glass. “I just hope he lets her down easy.”

“What do you mean?” When Jake looked up, Jay was staring at him inquisitively, brows furrowed. Jake’s face dropped, his heart in his throat.

“He hasn’t told her yet?” Jake asked hesitantly. Jay’s grip on his drink tightened. The two men stared at each other in silence, the tension palpable.

“...Told her what?”

☆☆☆

Sunghoon closed the towering, intricate wooden doors behind you as you entered the ballroom. Ceilings made of mirrors caused the light to bounce around the room like stars, and you watched, breathless. The smooth floor was slick under your stiletto heels.

“It’s beautiful.” you said, and Sunghoon watched you with a smile.

“A dance, m’lady?” he asked, offering his gloved hand to you. You took it with a grin, and he pulled you into his arms.

The two of you swayed, rocking back and forth in each other’s arms as he attempted to guide you in a waltz. You were uncoordinated, and you both giggled as you tripped over your feet. His thumb rubbed across your hand as he counted out the steps for you. There was no music playing, but you could both feel the rhythm in your head, like a grand orchestra was conducting a song just for you.

When you were alone, your head was suddenly clear. The stress from earlier melted away as he gazed into your eyes, and you rested your head on his shoulder, the two of you twirling as he hummed a song under his breath.

“You’re improving,” he joked. He was right, you were no longer tripping and stumbling. You had gained a sense of the rhythm, following his lead gracefully. He extended his hand, prompting you to spin, and you did.

“I have a good teacher.” you laughed, watching your gown twirl. The dress that Sunghoon had bought you was beautiful, trailing against the ground, the crystal detailing lighting up underneath the dappled golden light. Only then did you notice the sapphire shade of his tie, and how it perfectly matched your dress. “Let’s hope the press doesn’t get wind of our fashion faux pas.” you joked, gesturing to your matching attire.

“To be honest, I don’t really care.” he said, and his honesty made you gulp.

This was all too real for you. Your feelings for him were ripping you from the inside out, and you felt too nervous to speak. The feeling in your stomach was more akin to wasps than butterflies.

“Y/n.” he said seriously. “You know how I feel about you, don’t you?” He was overcome with guilt. He really didn’t want to do this to you, not now, not when he knew he’d have to break the news soon. It was too soon. His time with you was too short lived, he couldn’t let it go. Not when you were the only person who made him feel complete, the only person who made life feel like it was worth continuing.

“No, I don’t.” you grinned, baiting him to say the words himself, and he chuckled. “Why don’t you explain it to me?”

“Maybe it’s easier without words.” he said, unclasping his hand from yours so he could trace his fingers along your cheek. 

He dipped his head to kiss you, and your hands were tangled in his hair as he held you tightly. There was something desperate about the way he kissed you, holding you like you might slip through his fingers if he loosened his grip. The two of you kissed fervently, full of convolution and mixed emotions. He pulled away from you for a moment, but only for long enough to whisper,

“I love you.” You pulled away from him, his gaze intense. You always had a weakness for his eyes. It felt like they held galaxies. The weight of his words sunk upon you, and you opened your mouth to speak.

“I love you too.” you whispered.

☆☆☆

You and Sunghoon had parted ways after your illicit meeting, him fleeing to the front of the room to discuss with his father, you hesitantly retreating to your table. Chaewon was sipping vodka; Jay was nowhere to be seen.

“Everything okay?” she asked immediately, setting down her cup.

“I’m okay.” you assured her, your lips splitting into a bright smile despite your distressed exterior, and she let out a breath of relief, wrapping an arm around the back of your chair when you sat. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

“Same.” she agreed, taking another swig of her drink. “Though I bet your reason is different than mine.” She sent you a wink, to which you shook your head amusedly.

Your eyes were drawn to Sunghoon, standing onstage with his father. He seemed nervous, and you wanted nothing more than to be standing beside him, but you knew you couldn’t. Not in public, and you were wondering if you two would go public one day.

You would do it the moment he asked, no hesitation. And that scared you.

You picked up a glass sitting on the table that you assumed was Jay’s, taking a large swig. It burned your throat, and you put it down with a wince. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a tall and elegant woman standing on stage, honey colored hair curling gracefully on her shoulders. Her floor length golden gown sparkled in the light.

“Welcome, valued guests.” a loud voice and feedback from the microphone snapped you back into reality, and your attention was drawn to the stage, where Sunghoon’s father was speaking with a cheesy, large grin. “Thank you all for attending our fundraising gala, graciously hosted by the Parks. We appreciate all of your generous donations.” he cleared his throat. “And on behalf of my lovely son, we have some news.” You began listening, setting down your cup.

“We are delighted to announce our own Sunghoon’s engagement.”

Your face paled. You felt like the world was crashing down around you, everything muffled. You could vaguely sense that Chaewon was talking to you, but you couldn’t process it. You felt like you were going to throw up.

“Sunghoon and Huh Yunjin of the Huh Company are set to wed in three months, and our companies will officially be merging.” Flashing cameras went off like grenades, the sound filling the room as the woman smiled for the camera, holding onto the arm of the man who told you he loved you. Despite the camera demanding his attention, his eyes were on you. And those beautiful eyes that you loved, they were devoid of feeling.

He stared at you, pale as a ghost, lips parted in silent surprise. The cameras snapped photos of him as he barely breathed, lost in the injured gaze of the woman who loved him. And you stood, striding towards the exit before you could even register what you were doing, ignoring the curious stares you were receiving. All you could see was the exit, the door that would lead you out of here.

The sound of cameras flashing and the hum of gossip silenced as you walked into the night, taking a deep and ragged breath. Tears spilled from your eyes before you could help it, and you swiped your palms over your face, smudging your makeup, sobbing unsteadily.

As Sunghoon watched you stand, he pulled himself away from the tight grip of Yunjin on his arm, eyes trained on your disappearing figure as panic rushed through his head. His father turned back towards him.

“What are you doing?” he asked quietly, urgently, as Sunghoon pushed through the crowds of paparazzi, jumping off the stage and running towards the exit. He burst through the doors, chasing you until he found your weeping figure running away.

“Y/n!” He chased after you. You knew you couldn’t outrun him, so you didn’t try. You just shook your head, turning away from him.

“Fuck off.” you replied harshly, and he grabbed your wrist.

“Please, I’m sorry, let me explain.” he begged.

“Explain?” you snapped. “Sunghoon, you’re engaged. There’s nothing to explain.”

“I don’t want to marry her.” he said desperately. “I never have, and I never will.”

“You told me you loved me,” you sobbed, wiping your eyes with your free hand, and Sunghoon’s eyes burned with tears and the cold wind.

“I do,” he said gently. “I love you more than anything.”

“Then why?” you said. “Why are you getting married?” “...I don’t have a choice. It’s for the company.” he said reluctantly, and you shook your eyes, pulling your wrist out of his grip and wiping your eyes for the last time.

“I can’t believe I thought you were different.” you laughed incredulously. “I thought you were different, but it turns out you’re exactly like your family.”

“Y/n, don’t say that.” he pleaded. “I’m not like them.”

“Yet you do what they say, slaving away for a company that does nothing but hurt people?” He went silent. “I should’ve known from the start that you would hurt me. God, I can’t believe I thought you really cared about me.” “I do.” he insisted, reaching for your hands, but you pulled away. “I care about you, I care about us-”

“There is no ‘us’, Sunghoon!” you yelled. “There never has been! Because you always knew that at the end, you’d leave me the minute someone told you to.” 

“That’s not true, y/n.” he shouted. “Everything we went through, that meant something to me. I meant everything I said, I’d do anything for you! I’d leave the company if you asked me to!” You scoffed.

“You wouldn’t do that for anyone, Sunghoon. You’re too much of a coward.” He didn’t respond, his hands hanging weakly at his sides. He felt numb.

A black car roared to life, approaching from the parking lot. The windows rolled down, and you were comforted to see Jay’s stony face in the driver's seat, Chaewon watching you from the back seat with concern. He nodded to the passenger side.

“Get in.” he said, requiring no explanation. He already knew.

You ran for the car, and Sunghoon came after you. You had one hand on the handle when he caught your wrist in his fingers.

“Please,” he begged, his voice a whisper in the night as his eyes pleaded with you. “Please, don’t leave.” You almost yielded, but instead you removed your hand from his, opening the door and sliding into your seat.

“Go.” you said quietly to Jay, and he accelerated, speeding out of the lot. His hand rested on top of yours, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. You silenced your tears, chin resting on your palm and staring out the window into the city to ignore how much your heart was aching.

☆☆☆

It had been four days since Park Sunghoon told you he was getting married to another woman. It had been three days since you called out of work sick, and two days since you blocked his number after countless missed calls. It had been only one day since you stopped crying yourself to sleep.

You weren’t used to being vulnerable. Since your father ruined both his career and your own, you were used to building up walls around yourself. You were filled with bitter irony that the person who tore those walls down was part of the family that hurt you so badly in the first place.

You felt like an absolute idiot, to say the least.

You flipped through a magazine, your hair up as you lounged in a salon chair. You had just gotten your nails done, and you tried not to smudge the gel as you flipped through pages of jewelry ads and gossip articles. When you stumbled across a promotion for cologne, Sunghoon’s handsome, smiling face decorating the page, you shut it with a sigh.

“Do you have any other magazines?” you asked the woman who came to do your hair, sharp nails gripping at the edges.

You strode down the bustling streets of Seoul, your fur coat clenched tightly around your body, a designer purse held in your free hand. You got plenty of stares as you walked down the street, some admiring, some judgemental. But you had learned not to care. You sighed, your warm breath fogging up the cold daylight, before dissipating.

The sound of screeching static froze you in place, and you turned to look at the towering screens lined up in the window of a store, all glitching. You stopped for a moment, waiting until they regained their sense, switching to a news channel.

An anchorwoman with a bad blowout and a gaudy diamond necklace was pointing very seriously at an image behind her, her other hand wrapped around a stack of papers as she read off a script.

“The business world- is sh-shocked,” she began, her voice skipping as the tvs froze and unfroze in sync. “At the alleged emancipation of Park Sunghoon from his family’s very successful enterprise. Mr. Park made a public statement this morning, claiming that he ‘would not continue to entertain unethical practices, and could not condon the idea of marrying purely for business’. Rumors are, according to inside sources from corporate high society, that he left his company for love.”

You stared quietly at the tv. A million thoughts were rushing through your head, but the majority of them were this;

You needed to find Sunghoon.

☆☆☆

The door to his apartment creaked open, Sunghoon peeking out from behind. His hair was matted to his forehead, sticking up in places, and his typical nice clothing was replaced by a white t-shirt and a pair of baggy sweats. He looked like hell, but it didn’t matter; he looked the most beautiful you’d ever seen him.

“You’re not a coward.” Was the first thing you said when he opened the door.

“I am,” he replied.

“You’re not, and I didn’t mean that. I was scared.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” he said, shaking his head. “It was all my fault. I fucked up, and I lose the only person I care about in this world because of it.” You stood up a little straighter, clenching your fists.

“At the end of the day, you’re really the only one who understands me.” you said firmly, and he smiled, recognizing his own words. “Sunghoon, I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. And that’s why I was so afraid of you hurting me.”

“I wish I could take it all back.” Sunghoon said, his hand tracing your cheek, too afraid to make contact. “I wasted so much of my life being complacent. You were the one that taught me to be brave.” You nodded, eyes watery. “I’m sorry that I made you mad.”

“I’m not mad.” you said very unconvincingly, and both of you laughed. 

You wiped your eyes furiously, hands trembling.

“I really do love you, Sunghoon.” you said shakily, and he pulled you into his arms. You melted into his warm embrace, his arms circling your waist, holding you tight. Your touch felt so familiar, and for the first time since you left him, he felt whole again, basking in the glory of your presence. He couldn’t help but kiss you, his finger under your chin as he lifted your face to his, pressing his lips against yours eagerly.

You had forgotten all the things you adored about kissing Sunghoon. The way his hands always held you so tightly, how he always tasted like honey chapstick, and the way he smiled against your lips when you lost your hands in his hair. You were both sick with love, and you were only just beginning to realize that you didn’t need a cure.

“I love you.” he mumbled between kisses, unable to pull away. “I loved you from the start, even when everyone told me not to. Nothing could, and nothing can, stop the way I feel about you.”

“I love you, Sunghoon,” you said, your tears wetting both your face and his. “And I hate you for even considering otherwise.” he chuckled, tapping your nose with his index finger.

“Well, my reputation’s never been worse,” you giggled at your own words being used against you, as he spun you around in his arms. “So you must like me for me.” You pressed a chaste kiss onto his lips with a glowing smile.

“Mm, you’re lucky that I do.”

☆☆☆

[batsplat]

let’s talk about casey/vale helmet swap https://www.tumblr.com/charlespecco/667773184404324352/they-got-the-taste-for-it

(link)

we should!! dropped everything when this happened, big big day for the feud lovers amongst us. here are the posts in all their glory:

jacket and cap situation - and possibly even cardboard box situation - changed between photos, raising the exciting possibility that more than one meeting occurred at this venue, perhaps even on separate days. and more documentation of the historic event:

casey's got a helmet with a little turtle on it sitting somewhere in his house... peeking at the helmets and the captions, clearly "pleasure" was very much the word of the moment

during that weekend valentino said this:

while casey said this:

discussed here but there really is something to how valentino always talks about casey's talents and casey always talks about valentino's smarts. also details that are important to me personally, like valentino's (sincere) enjoyment of that rivalry, how casey would have enjoyed to see valentino fighting at the front, the learning from valentino thing, this idea of casey's achievements being validated by racing in his era... yeah that weekend gave me a lot

this is obviously all hugely endearing but deadass the funniest aspect of this whole encounter is that like,,, y'know, casey was talking shit about valentino less than a month after the race weekend where they met. I just don't think there's a purer distillation of their unique, beautiful dynamic for casey to show up, take some smiling photos with valentino, say "the pleasure was all mine", while during the same time span extensively having a go at valentino to the press. complete disconnect as ever, this disciplined dedication to never moving on that is... well, I was about to call it 'unmatched', but I suppose valentino shows he can very much match it when it comes to non-casey rivals. the two supreme grudge holders, bless them. like I need to be very clear here that casey was saying this in the very same month in which these photos were taken:

just so charming to me. "the pleasure was all mine" casey are you sure though. zero compunction at chatting shit about valentino in practically the same breath where he's the-pleasure-was-all-mine-ing him, like this is a crucial aspect of his characterisation. these little details like him having another go at valentino over the towing (a lovely theme of their rivalry, casey in general was on a bit of a one man crusade against towing)... "he was good in the head-to-head battles, but also at catching a tow" - there's no real relationship between these two statements, bit of a non sequitur if we're being honest, which is delightful because it lets you know it's something that still pisses casey off years later. one of those things where you can tell he's been sitting on this for nine years, just like the intense ducati schadenfreude - the years have passed, but the emotions never fade <3. "from then on, I didn't want to be his friend" so you wanted to be his friend before that, casey? is that what you're saying? it's so key to this rivalry that every single element of it was felt so intensely by casey.... whereas valentino is going "can't do this, too many memories" buddy full on having his nostalgic moment because this rivalry has just gone down in his mind as a fondly remembered part of his career he has done zero hand-wringing or reflection about in the intervening nine years. what a fantastic little episode like it really nails their dynamic perfectly in the year of our lord 2021

this is why they're great, right... if you put them in a situation where they just talk face-to-face, they would be fine. yeah, even if you made them get dinner together if the premise of the conversation isn't exploring their respective challenges, emotional revelations and soul-searching. their interpersonal chemistry is decent, casey enjoyed chatting to valentino... always, always it was valentino the character and not valentino the person he has his problems with. you can tell valentino thought casey was all right too - the podcast thingy confirmed my belief that valentino just fundamentally did not vibe with jorge from day one in a way that clearly isn't true of valentino's relationship with the other aliens. valentino took one look at jorge and went 'hm this guy seems annoying', but casey? yeah no he'd happily chat with him, just plays it by ear depending on how the rivalry is going and sometimes enforces a little distance just because. no complicated feelings, no massive emotional investment, no compunctions about any element of how that whole story unfolded. when they meet again, there's no real ill will because,, hey, they just did a bunch of things to each other rivals sometimes do to each other, right? whereas casey - my intrepid little grudge holder and reluctant student of the dark arts of communication - doesn't waste the opportunity to proselytise his version of events to the press shortly after the encounter, a tasteful full week after valentino's final race. whole thing fits in perfectly with my thesis that casey sometimes gets to play the valentino role in this rivalry - and does such a lovely job at it. love them both, love this encounter, love that casey's "the pleasure was all mine" is so blatantly flirting with dishonesty. a meeting of the greats

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Regret It

Aran x gn!reader

“There can only be one screw up in the family and I’m already here. Get yourself together.”

Aran was shocked when he heard those words leave your lips, but you seemed unbothered as you laughed, phone still pressed between your shoulder and ear as you looked over the team’s training schedule.

“Of course they expect more from you, to them I blew off work for some big company with bonuses to manage a bunch of sweaty dudes. Do I regret it? Well…”

As the door to your office shut softly behind you, Aran found himself hoping and praying for you to step back out. Could it be possible that you regretting signing on to manage their team? You made sure to clean Sakusa’s things separate, using the soap and laundry sanitizer he preferred. You could pull Bokuto out of emo modes so fast that most of the guys would just call you without trying to help themselves. You handled Miya’s ego, could keep Hinata and Kageyama from letting their school age feud leads to fights now. You regularly had to moderate Suna’s online presence, ensure that there were no PR disasters. You were exhausted all the time, you had to stay until the overworking players finally finished and had to show up at dawn to let the early arrivals into the gym, there were times he was convinced you had snapped awake at your desk when he knocked to come in. But you never complained.

You were an integral part of the team being successful, there were no two ways about it.

But if you regretted taking this job, where would that leave them? They would never find someone as good at it as you were, they’d never find someone as dedicated.

And moreso, what would happen to the two of you? Sure, you weren’t together, but Aran felt like you were getting close. You’ve had coffee together, dinner. He knew Atsumu referred to it as the talking stage, the setter claimed it wasn’t passed that until he finally kissed you. But he was afraid to take that step, worried that he may have misunderstood what he saw as flirting on your part. He didn’t want to make the move and be another reason you regretted taking this job if you were just being friendly.

So instead he did what he could.

He called the team in for a meeting, explained the situation as he saw it, and together the team came up with ways to ease your load.

Sakusa started taking his things home, washing them himself no matter how much you promised he didn’t have to.

Komori and Yaku took over Bokuto’s emo mode, never once asking for your aide even when it was offered. They took longer than you would, but it was a fair trade off to them.

Iwa kept Atsumu in check when he needed to be, his long-standing practice with Oikawa lending a hand in knowing what to say and how to act.

Ushijima stepped in whenever Hinata and Kageyama got too close to a boiling point, never choosing one side or the other as he logically acknowledged what each of them said.

Suna stopped recording as much, knowing that if posted anything that the publicity team didn’t like then you’d be the one hearing about.

Aran, for his part, kept an eye on all of them. He started getting up earlier to unlock the gym, staying later so you wouldn’t have to. He was so worried about taking the burden from you that he didn’t even realize how often he missed a text from you because he wasn’t as accustomed to the multitasking that you excelled in.

But what didn’t occur to any of them was how you’d feel about the changes in your routine. Because while they felt like they were helping, easing your load, you started feeling like they didn’t need you.

You couldn’t figure out why Sakusa would snag his things out of your hands like you were dirtying them.

You didn’t understand why Bokuto no longer wanted your help, you had thought there was a bond between you from all the times he sought you out.

Atsumu behaved fine without your intervention now, even though you felt like Iwa’s tough love was too tough sometimes, but the setter never complained to you, so you stayed away.

Ushijima seemed to be a better mediator than you ever were, keeping the two of them in line and on the right side of their friendly rivalry.

You no longer had to check Suna’s phone, because with everyone taking care of the others it was like there was no longer an excitement for him to pull out his phone to record.

And with your new free time came less communication. Your friends on the team didn’t reach out as much, Aran didn’t respond as much or as quickly as he used to. That’s probably the bit that hurt you the most as the days seemed to dragged on until suddenly it had been weeks. You had really believed he liked you, but now it was like you had just been convenient.

They didn’t need you anymore, maybe they just didn’t want you either.

Kuroo sighed, waiting as the players filled the seats in the conference room in a mess of loud noises lacking coordination. When they finally settled down, he gave them a solemn look, “I wanted you guys to be the first to know, but Y/N has tendered their resignation to me.”

“WHAT!?” He couldn’t be sure which players yelled it, too many voices drowning each other out as they started arguing, but he pushed on.

“I don’t know what’s been going on, all I can say for certain is that something has changed in the last few weeks.” He frowned as he looked at them, “Y/N said they weren’t needed anymore. Said you guys must’ve figured out how you needed to cover the things they helped with.”

“This isn’t what was supposed to happen…” Aran muttered to himself, weren’t they supposed to be helping you? “Have you turned it over to the Olympic Committee yet? Give me a chance to get them to withdraw the resignation.”

Kuroo shook his head, “I’ve known Y/N a lot of years. Seen them manage all different types of players. I know they can handle all kinds of issue. It makes me wonder what happened, so I thought I’d let you guys explain. Maybe we can figure it out and get Y/N to reconsider.”

So Aran explained what he heard, the assumptions he’d made, just like he did for the team. In hindsight, he should’ve just asked you what was too much.

“Please reconsider.” You looked up from where you were emptying your desk, the box momentarily forgotten as you looked at the outside hitter standing in the doorway. “We don’t want to you to leave.”

“You guys don’t need me.” You smiled softly, sadly, “You’ve made it clear.”

“You’re wrong.” Aran said quickly, taking a step toward you. He needed to fix the damage he caused. He couldn’t lose you like this, not because he tried to fix a problem that didn’t exist when he should’ve talked to you instead. “We would be a mess without you. I just- I talked the guys into picking up their own slack. I heard you on the phone one day, when someone asked if you regretted taking the job here. I realized how much pressure we put on you.”

“I like the pressure.” You offered, shaking your head with a smile, “Yeah, it’s a lot. Yeah, I get exhausted and overwhelmed sometimes. But it’s still me doing my part. I like meeting Sakusa’s particular needs, I like helping Bokuto get back to himself so he can annoy you guys, I like being someone you guys feel like you can depend on. If you had heard all of it, you’d have heard me say that I’ve never regretted the decision to come here. But more than all of that…” you took a deep breath, taking his hand in yours as you stared into his eyes, “More than all of that, I like you. I like how close we’ve gotten because of the job I do, I like knowing that I make a difference in your day.”

Pressing a kiss to your forehead, Aran leaned back to take your face in his free hand, “So stay here. Do the job the way it’s done best- by you. Don’t make it a regret by leaving.”

“Fine,” You chuckled, a mischievous glint in your eye, “on one condition.”

“Anything.” He answered, just holding your face in his hands like it was something precious.

“Finally kiss me?”

Well, who was he to say no to that?

Masterlist

[sunwarmed-ash]

🔥Sinful Sunday🔥

Dedication: This ones for you EndlessGloaming!

Fun fact, comments breathe life back into my fics, so if you want a specific one updated, lmk 😘

Love bites, but so do I: Chapter 3

Fandom: Twilight Ship: Edward/Bella/Jacob Rating: Teen->Explicit Tags: pre-poly, eventual poly, she can have BOTH okay? eclipse tent scene, but bi-er, pre poly dynamics, canon divergence Preview:

“What happened in the tent when I fell asleep?” Bella asks, breaking the tranquility.  Edward flexs his jaw, obviously not thrilled or rushing to tell her. She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow stubbornly. Edward finally yields.  “Jacob explained a potential- alternative option, to our current set of circumstances.” “By current set of circumstances you mean your never relenting, childish feud over me?” Edward smirks, not looking ashamed in the slightest for his actions, past or present.  “You're one in a billion Bella, forgive me for being greedy.”   She didn't give him an inch.  “So what's the compromise?”  “You date both of us,” He says and her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.  Date both of them? If she thought it sounded ridiculous coming from Jake’s mouth it was even more ridiculous coming from Edward’s. Her awkward squeak of a laugh conveyed her true surprise.  “And- okay, I’m sorry, how exactly do you see that working out?” “I’m not- as hesitant, as I was before,” He says seriously, and she instantly matches it.   “Really? What changed your mind?” He lets out an irritated sigh, but it’s not directed at her.  “The wolf. Though, your persistent and stubbornness certainly didn't help.” She laughs, high and amused before slapping his arm gently. When he returns her smile she leans in for a kiss. She could feel some of his unease melt when they embraced. Her heart is still pounding like crazy.    “Okay, start from the beginning, what did he say?” Now Edward chuckles uncomfortably, looking down in embarrassment.  “He didn't so much say as he, uh, showed me an example of a relationship in his pack.”  “Emily, Leah and Sam?” She confirms.  “Yeah. How are they, in your opinion?” She shrugs, hard to say, she had only met them a handful of times.  “Happy enough. He imprinted on Emily but he loves Leah just as much. People can love two people, can’t they?” “I’d say so. Because you do.” Her breath hitches in her throat in fear. It's still hard to hear confirmed out loud. It's been such a burdening secret for so long. But Edward’s not angry with her, instead he's holding his hand out patiently offering his comfort when she wants it.  “Yeah, I do.”

[nakanotamu]

2023.09.24 5 Star GP 2023 in Sanjou Sanjou City Public Hall 504 people (sold out)

Hanan vs Waka Tsukiyama

The Hanan to Club Venus saga continues. I mean not really since Mariah was about to leave and it’s more just a fun interaction than a real story per se but it’s still fun seeing them interact. Anyway I thought this was a perfectly solid singles opener. Maybe a little slow but I think that’s understandable given Hanan was in the 5 Star and this is right in the peak of when people were dropping like flies. It’s interesting in hindsight given where Hanan’s at now and the two of them feuding over the New Blood Tag belts but nothing crazy, totally fine for what it is. - 3

Koguma vs Saki Kashima vs Yuna Mizumori

Wow…. Saki before the days of “No running, no bumps, no high speed”... I had fun with this but it’s also a very standard house show sort of high speed three way. It was fine and the finish was fun but there was really nothing to it and all 3 of them can for sure do more. In my insane dedication to watching my backlog shows it’s such a bummer seeing perfectly fine matches like this that just have no story running through them at all. - 2.5

Suzu Suzuki & Mei Seira vs Megan Bayne & Hanako

Mei really really brings out the best in Megan and Hanako is so good, especially for how long she’d been around at this point. I don’t like Megan no-selling and warping a whole match around her at the best of times, but she actually gave Suzu & Mei a little, and even got to lose bc she was with a rookie! She’s also at her best just literally tossing someone like Mei around, even better given how much fun Mei obviously has doing it. She took some gnarly bumps here too that were really not necessary for what the match was or this house show but I hope she had fun. - 3

Red Stars: Syuri vs Starlight Kid

I thought about skipping this match bc I didn’t really want to watch Kid bust her ankle, but she came in with it already taped up and was pretty clearly trying to work around it already. Given she was working against that I thought this was really solid and I remain pretty consistently impressed the 5 Star is as good as it was given the backstage stuff at the time. I liked Kid trying to work Syuri’s leg vs Syuri being. Syuri. And you could kind of see Daichi and Syuri using the fake checking on Syuri’s knee at the end to actually check on Kid’s ankle, which I thought was sweet. I’m sure in a better situation Kid and Syuri could do way more than this but I still liked it. Oh, and the booking of this show itself - like, the order of the card was fucked. Why on earth was this not the main. On a 5 Star show where it’s the only 5 Star match???? - 3

Mina Shirakawa & Mariah May vs Natsuko Tora & Ruaka

Every Rose Gold match is a precious treasure to be cherished, and this was the last one…. Truly tragic, not doing anything crazy but an enjoyable sendoff for a tag team I would not have expected to like as much as I did or see kiss as much as I have. I hope everyone else is taking notes. - 3

Giulia & Maika vs Hazuki & Saya Iida

This would be like a perfectly fine house show main event but again it’s just absolute nonsense that this was the main to this show. Has no character stuff really at all even, coming during a weird down period in the on-again-off-again Maika leaving DDM story that ultimately went nowhere. Not that that's their fault but it still sucks. I did actually end up enjoying this more than I expected to, my hopes weren’t high going into it but I enjoyed every combination of people in this and Hazuki and Maika in particular were really cooking, that could very much be My Shit and I’d love to see a lot more from them together. I mean I would like to see a lot more from Hazuki all of the time in any context but this was a good combo. All in all perfectly solid house show when you take into account when it took place and what was going on. - 3

[litgwritersroom]

Let's Chat

Chapter Five of Love Island, Actually

read it on AO3 | chapter one | chapter four

Things are looking up for Jules in her professional and personal lives, River can’t hide the truth from her best friend, Thea gets deeper into her international affairs while Bridget and Gary have some ups and downs on their honeymoon.

JULES: ambitions

“Thank you,” Jules told their waitress, the girl having set both of their entrees down on the table before disappearing. “So, Delilah, what are you hoping to accomplish with this interview? I know Mason hasn’t done many so I’m just curious what he has to say now that you think is so important to his brand?”

“Is this the off-the-record part?” Delilah grinned, only half-kidding.

Jules smiled, reaching for the glass of Pinot Noir she’d been sipping on since they got there. “This is completely off the record, Delilah, I promise,” she said, already feeling more at ease than she had in any other pre-interview she’d done. Delilah was charming and intelligent, the kind of person Jules would have loved to grab a drink with outside of work. “Is there anything that would be off-limits? If you decide that I’m a good fit, of course. Anything I should avoid bringing up? I’ll send you a list of the questions in advance, but if you could give me an idea now so I don’t spend too much time drafting ones I won’t be able to use.”

It wasn’t typical for her to ask these sorts of things, but for someone as notorious as Mason Knowles, she knew Talia would throw a fit if they ostracised all of his fans by publishing something that wasn’t very flattering.

“The only thing we don’t want to focus on is this ‘rivalry’ with FourWay. Since Mason left the band, the blood’s stayed bad. If they want to focus their album’s promotion on the drama, that’s on them, but Mason doesn’t need to sell records by focusing on feuds.” She took a drink. “His work stands on its own. You’ll see it for yourself if we give you this interview. Mason wants you to have early access to the full album, focusing on the leading single.”

“How long have you been working with Mason, exactly? It seems that he trusts you a lot. When did you enter the picture?” she asked, more so for her own curiosity rather than satisfying an element of the story.

“We’ve been collaborating for around a year now, and we’ve both been working towards being each other’s number one focus. I’ve got less than three-quarters’ worth of clients now than when I first met Mason. He always came across as a bit of a bone-head when he was in the band, but since leaving he’s really proven to be more than the box he was forced into, and I’m so grateful to be by his side as he shows the world his potential.”

“That’s so sweet I might have to just include it in the feature,” Jules said. “Seriously, it’s very rare that managers nowadays have that level of respect and genuine dedication to their clients. So many are just in it for the paycheck.”

“It is a good paycheck if you do your job right,” she grinned. “Something I can imagine you understand well. Tell me, Jules, why you really, really want this Mason interview? Cross my heart and hope to die that I won’t be judgemental.”

“Honestly?” Jules waited for the nod that Delilah gave her before she continued on. “I never really wanted to work in music. I’ve always wanted to work for TIME Europe. Securing an interview like this…well, it would do wonders for my portfolio. As grateful as I am for my time at The Record, it’s not a magazine that I see myself staying at long-term.” Telling Delilah about all the cattiness and drama behind the scenes was all-too-tempting, but Jules knew better than to throw her job under the bus. As satisfying as it might be…

“But I think that makes me the perfect candidate,” she continued. “I’m not in this interview for the connections in the music industry that it could bring me like so many other writers on my staff. I have no ulterior motives, so to speak. I’m in this because it’s an interesting story that holds a lot of weight.”

Delilah hummed for a moment, lips pursed. “Believe me, I’m sympathetic to the cause of wanting something just out of reach. I appreciate the openness and honesty, too. This is your goal, it’s not your dream; it’s a stepping stone, but why should that make it any less significant? Why shouldn’t you fight for it? I admire that, Jules.”

Any anxiety Jules had been clinging on to after admitting her real intentions for pursuing the interview was gone in an instant upon hearing Delilah speak. “Do you admire it enough to give me the interview?”

A wry look sat across her face as she circled her wine glass in hand. “I’m rooting for you, Jules.” Delilah winked, adding, “Let’s finish this bottle of Pinot and really get into it, but as things are, I’m happy with the idea that I’ve helped a woman on her way to accomplishing her big dreams.”

“Cheers, Delilah,” Jules said, extending her own glass, tapping it lightly against Delilah’s with a wink of her own. “And here’s to dreaming.”

They finished lunch (and their wine) and said their goodbyes. Jules had been about to leave when she walked by the bar and saw Jake Wilson standing behind it, seemingly taking advantage of the lack of people seated there at noon on a Monday to count inventory. He looked up for a brief moment, meeting her gaze, and he smiled.

“Jules Taylor.”

“Jake Wilson,” she grinned, taking a seat at the empty bar. “Do you live here or something?” She put her purse down on the stool next to her own, propping her chin in her hand. 

“I try not to,” he said, placing his clipboard down on the counter. “Busy morning?” he questioned, glancing over at the table she and Delilah had been occupying a few minutes ago.

“Busy, but good,” Jules said, and when he arched an inquisitive brow at her she continued on. “I’ve been working on getting this big interview for work for what feels like months now; I mostly just need it for my portfolio but anyways I uh…I think I got it.”

“Jules! That’s amazing, congratulations,” Jake said, his smile wide.

The way he looked at her made her feel simultaneously wonderful and terrible if that were even possible. It felt good to have someone acknowledge her accomplishment, to tell her “congrats” and at least pretend to be proud of her if they didn’t really care. But it also reminded her that there was no one else for her to talk to. Suresh had been all she’d had for so long that she’d grown used to not needing anyone else.

But now? Well, now that she didn’t have him, she wasn’t sure what that left her with.

She wasn’t good at making friends, really. In Uni, she’d only had a handful of close acquaintances, people she met in classes mostly, but the majority of her time had been spent with Suresh. Even at work, she rarely spent time with any of her co-workers outside of the office. 

The realization that her only confidante was a bartender (as cute as he was), didn’t leave her feeling very warm and fuzzy, all of a sudden.

“You okay?” Jake’s voice snapped her out of whatever spiral she’d been about to go down and she nodded, ignoring the odd feeling in her chest at the concern she saw in his dark eyes.

“I’m fine. I should actually head back to the office,” she said, rising to her feet, grabbing her purse off of the neighbouring stool and sliding the strap over her shoulder. She lifted her hand in a slight wave before she headed towards the front door, unable to keep that warmth in her chest from burning even brighter as she heard his voice calling out “Goodbye Jules Taylor” right behind her.

RIVER: sharing secrets

River: so, wifey is back?

Noah: Unfortunately, yes. I wish I could see you.

River: maybe that can be arranged. i know a place.

As soon as she heard the steps approaching, River locked her phone again. She realised she was still holding some papers from her kids' homework, too distracted with the thought of talking about the possible next time she'd have with Noah to really finish grading them. So, with guilt burning in her heart, she let them pile up before fixing her hair and stared patiently at the door frame of her class until Thabi showed up.

She taught a grade ahead of River and was as sweet and quirky as they would come. 

Thabi smiled as she knocked on the door just for politeness' sake. "River, your ride is here."

River sighed, leaving the four to five papers she still needed to grade on her pile before taking off her own glasses to look back at Thabi with a grin. "I wish he would stop bothering you guys instead of just calling me."

"I asked him about it and he just told me that this way you're forced to make friends," she laughed as a mum would laugh at their kids' antics.

River just clicked her tongue humouredly as she got up from her chair. "Please, if anything he’s just being annoying," she joked, grabbing her handbag and coat before saying her goodbyes.

She left her classroom with a spring in her step. Ever since the wedding and the night she had shared with Noah, she was feeling happier than ever before. She didn't even mind having to hold the door for the head-in-the-clouds art teacher, Will, nor the off-hand comment she always would get from Johnny during lunch. 

Using her hips to help her open the door, River stepped out of the building. The sun hit her skin before she had the chance of putting her coat on, wrapping her body with much needed warmth during the November weather.

Bobby was leaning against his car. Hands in the pockets of his jeans while he looked around the car park. He was wearing his typical jeans and t-shirt combo, this time paired with a thick coat and boots instead of his typical all-star on his feet. When he clocked her, his face lit up and he beamed at her, arms open for a hug.

"There you are!" He said as soon as River shortened the distance between them. His arms enveloped her in a quick hug. "Thought you had forgotten you offered me some help at the bakery."

"Of course not," she said. Her blue eyes rolled with amusement as she took a step back, putting some distance between them. "Let's get inside your car before I freeze."

And so, they did. After years of being picked up and dropped off by Bobby ever since he got his driver's licence, River was used to the ins and outs of his car better than her own. How the seat belt would always jam halfway through if she tried to fasten it too quickly. How the radio bluetooth stopped working after they spilt Coca-Cola on his control panel. How his glove box always had too many candy bars for his own good. And exactly the angle her feet needed to be so the heater would reach them.

As she mindlessly adjusted herself to his car's peculiarities, Bobby turned the radio on. Baby, kiss it better by FourWay blew out of the speakers. It took a little more than a second for Bobby to realise which song it was before he was laughing.

"Oh, my god, turn it off!" River demanded, cheeks blushing. "So cringe."

Daring to bite back a smile, Bobby teased: "Aww, c'mon Riv, you should support your dear brother!"

Ever since they were little, Charles Edwards was the worst. A mummy's boy, he would always snitch on River's mischiefs, even when they were as little as "mum, she ate all the chocolate chip cookies!"

You could say they were not the closest of siblings.

This meant growing up he was the object of most of her jokes and when Gary and Bobby were around, he was always the butt of their joke. It was his fault, really, after all, he insisted on being the stereotypical posh teenage boy — stuck up and a real self-centred narcissist knob. So it wasn't a real surprise the trio would take his impossible flaws and make a few jokes about them. Except, of course when he wasn't around. When that was the case, the two boys would turn against River and laugh at her expense. You know, boys will be boys.

It all got so much worse when he started the band. River never really saw much future in them but they managed to build a really strong, teens-based, fan army that was very focused on buying their merch and streaming their lead single. Charlie Edwards, known as River’s annoying older brother, was now Eddie, the dream of every fifteen-year-old girl.

“This song sucks,” she sighed, changing the stations while Bobby laughed his ass off. “And as far as everyone else is concerned, his sister is really private.”

“Oh, yeah, River Edwards, known for being private,” he teased again and she rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you date one of the other members?”

“Oh, shut up!” She nudged him. “I kissed Henrik once when I was seventeen and his hair was still short. That doesn’t count.”

“That definitely counts.”

"Anyways,” she said with a huff while they drove out of the school's car park, trying to make talk about something that wasn’t her brother’s silly little band — that somehow was a massive hit now —  as she watched the post-rain pavement glint, “how did the weekend turn out for you, Bobby?" 

"Oh, you mean after you left me by myself and then Delilah also left me and I had to drink myself to sleep?" He asked, his voice filled with humour but she could hear the small hint of disapproval under it all. If only she didn't know him that well.

"I told you to have some fun, you should have listened to me," she countered. "Did you know Thea is in Spain right now? Apparently, she and Talia broke up after she caught her fucking a dude."

"Talia or Thea?"

"What?"

"Who was fucking the dude?"

"Oh, Talia!"

Bobby hissed. "Poor Thea…" but then he stopped, and glimpsed at River. "Are you changing the subject?" Now, why was he so smart when it came to it?

River only huffed, adjusting her hair. "Of course, not! I just remembered something and I thought of telling you." She cleared her throat. "How was the night with Delly before she left you on your own, then?"

"Well, I was drinking, as you told me to, and she came up." River held back a laugh. When he said it like that, it seemed like a tale out of his 'one-night stands' book. "Said she was feeling like shit and that she was eyeing Noah up all night."

Oh no.

Crossing her legs and her arms, River tried to pretend normality. "And what did you say?"

"That was probably the worst idea I've ever heard." He deadpanned as if it was the most obvious thing one could say in that kind of situation.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

"Mmm…" River simply hummed, hoping to god that would kill the conversation.

But Bobby wasn't having any of it. Bless his heart, he fucking adored her, she never doubted that for even a second. But sometimes being loved meant being taken care of, which just translated to him always wanting to know what was happening in her life.

"What?"

"What?"

"What was that 'mmm' about?"

"Nothing!" She tried to counter. "Just a regular 'mmm'."

He was looking at the road but River could feel him trying to catch a glimpse of her. She ignored it, facing out of her window, and watching as people lived their normal lives — where they hadn't fucked a married man and were about to get caught by their morally pure best friend.

Fuck, she could almost see the look on his face after he found out — the wrinkle between his brows dusted with freckles, his eyes looking puzzled as if he couldn't wrap his head around the information, his fingertips tapping against the steering wheel as his mind worked it out. She would become another person before his eyes and she could not handle that.

It was the kind of heartbreak she wouldn't ever be ready for. He was her best friend, her person. He was the best part of her and if Bobby McKenzie didn't love her anymore, what was there for her to love about herself?

"You don't do regular 'mmms'," Bobby told her, his voice a little more annoyed than it was two seconds ago. He had sensed something was totally not normal. "Tell me what's wrong!"

"There's nothing wrong!" Everything was wrong, starting with the fact he was asking her about it. Was it too late to throw herself out of the car? Maybe if she opened the door…

"Is there something about Noah?"

The thing about having a best friend of ten years was that he knew her. He knew when she was lying, when she was trying to hide something and when she had the hots for someone, anyone, even the married man. So it shouldn't shock her that Bobby was aware of her illicit crush on Noah but she couldn't help but wonder when he figured it out.

"No!" Holding the last streak of hope she still had so Bobby would let the subject die, River repeated herself. "I just…"

"You just… ?"

"I wouldn't judge her, you know, Noah's marriage is falling apart and he is… like, hot."

There was a silence in which River really thought she was out of the woods. Bobby had simply stopped talking and while that could never mean something good, she still hoped for the best and sighed with relief, finding it was over.

Until, of course, he had to ask. "Now, why would you say that?!"

"Forget it!"

"No, no… Is there something you’re not telling me?"

If you asked anyone else, they would tell you River never could keep a secret from Bobby. Even when his mother planned a surprise birthday for him when they were 16, they never, ever told River in advance. When you wanted to tell her a secret, you should know Bobby would know it as well, and vice-versa. So the reason why she really thought she could have that big of a secret without him knowing was unknown.

Calling her out of her silence, Bobby reprimanded her. "River…"

In the end, the truth was that keeping things from him killed her every single second he spent without knowing.

"Fine! Ok! I slept with Noah, happy now?!"

Nothing could explain the look on his face. It was a mix of confusion, shock and deep disappointment. The car was overtaken by pure silence, almost as if the world had stopped. River had to remind herself how to breathe. She watched him expectantly, bracing herself for the worst, as he opened and closed his mouth, eyes on the road, trying to make something out of it.

"You did what?!"

She rolled her eyes. That was it, the cat was out of the bag. Hooray! "Yeah, yeah, slutty River slept with a married man. Can we move on to the next topic, please?!"

But Bobby for the first time didn't appreciate a joke. "Are you being for fucking real right now, Edwards? Are you out of your mind?"

"I don't wanna talk about it!" She matched his tone, both of them going into fight mode. "Not with you!"

"Well, we are going to talk about it, like it or not!" He said, hands gripping hard on the steering wheel as he stole a look at her through the rearview mirror. "And what do you mean 'not with me'?"

"Because you get all judgy when someone does anything wrong."

"This ain't 'anything', River, you slept with a married man."

"A married man who likes me." She said, begging to be listened to for the first time. "For once a guy chose me over someone else, so yeah. I did. And I plan on doing it again."

"You can't be for real."

"Like you’re one to talk."

Bobby frowned and she could see his brain trying to work out what she had just said. If he thought he could magically disappear with all the memories she had of telling him Bridget wasn't worth his time or wrecking his relationship with Gary, he was wrong.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That we both like married people but I am the only one with balls to do something about it."

She watched as realisation hit Bobby and he took a deep breath. With a low voice and a blush under his freckles, he said, "It's different…"

"How exactly is it different, Bobby? Or is it different because it's me and when I do it, it's wrong?"

He shook his head and huffed. "Please, don't turn this into something it's not."

"I'm not! It's the same thing but Bridget is in a happy relationship, and Noah is not!"

It seemed so simple in her mind. If Noah wasn't happy and his relationship was obviously one step from falling apart, why should he stop living? If his wife didn't want a divorce, what could he do if not that?

But Bobby never saw the nuance of things. "You know who else wasn't? Your father! Did that make it any less wrong?"

River hadn't felt guilt once. Not when she finished, not when she kissed him goodbye, not when she slept, not when she woke up the next morning, not when she saw the hickeys on her body, not when she texted him, not when he mentioned his wife, not when he told her it was the best sex he ever had.

But as soon as Bobby said that, it hit her all at once.

That relationship was absolutely wrong yet her consciousness had failed to mention her every single time. When Bobby's words hit her harder than her actions, what was left to her except his disappointment? With a mind so selfish it wouldn't even weigh the weight of her actions, could she claim to be better than the woman she absolutely despised? 

Her parents' unavoidable divorce was on the horizon and Bobby knew how much that had fucking damaged not only her but her mother and siblings. Her father had a home, with a loving wife and kids. Noah was different, he didn't have those. Fuck, he didn't even use a ring and River had never even met the wife. How could he ever think those things were slightly similar?

She felt the tears pricking behind her eyes and her cheeks burning. From embarrassment, maybe from guilt but most definitely from having to hear those words out of his mouth of all people.

"… Fucking great…" she whispered more to herself than to him. Pure disappointment. Yet, he heard her anyway.

"No… Riv… I didn't…" He tried to fix it, hand reaching out to her but she didn't take it. "Fuck, I'm sorry…"

River knew he didn't say anything wrong. That it was more her fault than anyone else’s. That she was the stupid girl falling for the words of a very much married man. But her pride spoke louder than her head and she just turned to the other side, weeping the tears that insisted on falling.

"Please, you knew exactly what you were saying."

"… I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

She nodded. She knew he loved her and that he would never hurt her on purpose but sometimes you just want to have the upper hand. "It's fine," she said, sniffing.

"Really?"

"Yeah, more than fine, it's great."

"Fine then," he narrowed his eyes.

"Cool."

"Great."

"Yeah."

Quiet took them over again. It was so not like them. Her mother used to say that where there was noise there were also River and Bobby. Chattering and loud laughter were almost their registered brand, a mark on their relationship that was already known for bringing chaos.

Because Bobby knew River hated the silence. He always made sure they were doing something when they were together. That there was some music playing, even in the background. She always guessed that was the kind of thing that made best friends, best friends.

She wondered if she had broken that bond.

But then he broke the silence. 

"So… Did you fuck him in my car?"

And that was worth more than any other words of apology he could have said.

"What?!" She almost gagged. "Why would I do that?!"

He laughed, "I don't know, I found a pair of pants in my backseat."

Well, what a turn of events.

"No way," her mouth hung open, face taken by complete shock. "Like… Underwear?"

"Yeah, Amazon, underwear," Bobby said, voice humoured once again. "It's not yours, then?!"

"Of course not!" She nudged him. "I wouldn't ever, oh my days, not in your car."

"Gary's then?" Bobby asked before chuckling and she followed him and soon enough they were roaring with laughter together, almost crying. 

She guessed there was no Bobby without River as well as there wasn't River without Bobby.

THEA: international headache

“Ok, so, this is only the first meeting with the director, I’ll translate everything you need to know, don’t worry,” Tim said as they walked down the hotel's hallway.

Thea had barely slept. Who would’ve thought that having her heart broken would keep her awake at night? Yet, her lack of sleep didn’t matter much right now. Nor did the whole hour she was ahead of England and all of her friends. Nor the fact the only person she had to talk to was a guy she had only met 12 hours ago. It didn’t matter. It was silliness.

What mattered was that she was dressed and ready to go at eight o’clock — even though her body was still used to London time —, that Tim was by her side to translate anything she couldn’t understand and that the director and singer were about to have a meeting in which she would be present.

But like, only in spirit, because good lord, she was tired. 

When they reached the main hall, Tim approached another woman. She was one of those tropical beauties, with long tanned legs and a really fit body, looking gorgeous. Not that Thea paid attention to that, of course not, she was not looking for attractive people, no!

… but a little peep never killed anybody, right?

Tim spoke to the woman in a language Thea would guess was Spanish. She laughed way too hard at whatever the fuck he told her and slapped him lightly on his shoulder, making him laugh back and blush. Well, Thea might not have understood what they said but she knew flirting when she saw it.

“Tim?” Thea called for him, motioning at her Smart Watch so he would get a hint. It would be such a fucking disaster to be late for her first meeting with the director.

“Oh, Thea, this is Valentina, she’s part of the team!”

Ah, now it makes more sense, Thea thought to herself before her eyes moved from him to Valentina, who had the kindest smile she had seen in the last 48 hours. “Nice to meet you, my name is Valentina but you can call me Val!” she said with a half-American, half-Latino accent.

“Nice to meet you, too!” Thea shook the hand Valentina had offered. “I’m Thea but my friends call me Thee.”

“You never told me that,” Tim butted in.

“You never asked!”

“Well, I guess that is true.”

“So,” Valentina interrupted them, clapping her hands together. “I will be your assistant for this job, Thea, so, don’t worry about your schedule, I’ll take care of it all for you. And, well, Tim as well.”

“I’ll be counting on you, then!” Thea smiled back before looking from Tim to Valentina and pointing at her watch again. “And… I guess we have a meeting now?”

“Oh, shoot, yeah!” Tim gasped. “Let’s go.”

What a fantastic team.

Valentina guided them to one of the meeting rooms. Apparently, the place was one of those that were used to receive companies and they had a bunch of utility rooms like those, or at least that was what Tim told her when Thea asked what kind of hotel had meeting rooms.

Even though she was nervous about coming in last, as soon as they stepped inside the room, they found the place nearly empty. There was only a man and a woman, sitting near to each other, discussing something in what now Thea could recognise as Spanish.

Tim said something, announcing their presence, and then the man replied. Thea watched as the four of the Spanish speakers talked to each other, awkwardly putting her to the side as she looked down at her own feet. Maybe travelling to another country wasn’t the smartest decision she had ever made.

That was when a man showed up next to her.

As a model, Thea was used to being around tall people but there was something about that man’s presence that really stuck out to her. That close to him, she could even scent the smell of ocean and breeze that surrounded his body, adding to the fresh look he had on his face. He looked so casual, so in the right place, unlike her.

He had a geometric-patterned, white buttoned-up shirt missing the first few buttons, and blue board shorts paired with old-school Vans. On his head, a white panama hat was hiding his dreadlocks, while a black cord scapular hung around his neck. Oh, and he was breathtaking.

Thea didn’t know what was exactly the thing that made him so good-looking. Maybe it was a mix of things instead of just one especially. It had something to do with the way he looked so peaceful, or maybe how his cheeks had a blush to them, or even how long his lashes were, or, who knows, maybe it was the soft look in his eyes.

It was safe to say she was looking for way too long when she realised he was talking to her.

“Sorry?” she asked in a reflex after not understanding a single word — partly because she was paying attention to his looks and partly because it was in another language, again. 

“He said his name’s Nicky and asked yours,” the blonde girl behind him said. Wait, how long has she been there?  “I’m AJ, by the way, his translator.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m Thea, the model.” Even though she had tried her best to sound as normal as she could, there was no way a conversation which needed a third party could ever sound normal.

“Ela disse que é a modelo, Thea,” AJ told the man, the only thing understandable was Thea’s name.

“A gente acertou em cheio com a modelo, hein?! Muito gata,” he said.

AJ giggled, making Thea a little bit anxious as to the exchange that was unfolding before her eyes. “He said you’re beautiful.”

Oh.

She barely noticed when everyone was sitting down; barely breathed when he got the seat next to hers; barely understood while they were discussing the video details in a half-English half-Spanish conversation; barely let herself look to the side, otherwise, she would be taken by the most incredible view. 

Nicky's presence was, to say the least, the most overwhelming it could be, positively and negatively. Suddenly, the once big and fancy meeting room was as small as her room in the loft she shared with Lottie. She wondered if that was the very cool consequence of being famous: even international models would be starstruck in our presence, even if they didn't know who you were five minutes ago.

When the meeting was done, Thea hoped that Valentina had taken the notes she said she would and then told Tim she had a really bad headache and was going to take a break in her room, if he couldn't explain that to the big boss director. He reassured her it was fine and told her everyone could understand she was jetlagged.

So she left but not before stealing one last glance at Nicky, who was staring back.

His smile was like sunrise and she found herself blushing, heartbeat so fast under her shirt. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she left the room, wondering if her fake international headache was becoming real.

BRIDGET: hot & cold

She stood at the balcony of their suite, bracing her arms against the wooden railing as she took a deep breath and watched the air condensing as she slowly exhaled, the white wisps blending seamlessly after a moment with the white scenery surrounding her. When it was high noon the sunlight glinting off the snow was nearly blinding, but with sunset approaching now the sky was painted in a gradient of several tones of gold, pink, lilac and blue, creating the most unbelievably beautiful sight. The surrounding mountains with their snowed peaks made it all look even more majestic and otherworldly.

Bridget sighed again, a smile forming on her lips even as she remembered Delilah telling her she was crazy for wanting to honeymoon somewhere as cold as the Swiss Alps during winter. Her best friend turned sister-in-law had said they should’ve gone someplace warm, like the Caribbean or Southeast Asia with their wonderfully hot beaches to get away from the dreary cold of winter in the UK instead of going to an even colder place. But the truth was Bridget and Gary had always loved winter and all the snow and how cosy it made everything, so this had been a perfect place for them.

The village of Gstaad looked so quaint and magical, and with the lead up to Christmas the place was already fully decorated for the season: there were pine trees, big red bows and twinkling lights all around. That and the local architecture created a whole atmosphere that almost made one expect to find Santa’s workshop around a corner. The honeymooning couple had already taken the obligatory tour around the streets, visiting the renowned restaurants and the cute shops, looking for gifts and mementos to take back home.

The area was mostly known as a prime location for winter sports and the amazing scenery. She wasn’t much of a skier, but of course they did it all: going down a few slopes (which was fun, even if she did fall on her bum a few times), ice skating (which she fared much better, if she’d say so), even doing some trekking in the snowy woods and going up to see one of the famous peaks.

She knew Gary loved all that outdoorsy stuff, but she had to admit her favourite part was the five star hotel. The restaurant was amazing, there was everything they could want for evening entertainment like a bar and game room, not to mention the spa treatments and the outdoor heated pool they got to enjoy while literally being surrounded by snow. They had a gorgeous suite with their own fireplace, an enormous spa bathtub and a balcony with one of the best views all around. Which was where she was now, just taking everything in as if she could take mental snapshots of the place, and she suddenly realised that she’d been alone for quite a while.

Where the hell was her husband now?

She smiled to herself, still getting used to that word and the fact that she did indeed have a husband, then walked back into the warmth of the suite, shedding the heavy coat that had been wrapped around her. She looked around the bedroom and called his name as she went down the steps, checking the lower floor with the sitting room but she could see no sign of him.

Just then the front door opened and the man himself walked in.

“Hey, honey,” Bridget greeted him with a smile. “Where you been? I was just about to organise a search party,” she said jokingly as she leaned against the small table in the breakfast nook.

“Humm?” He said lightly as he turned to her. “Oh nothing, I just had to take a call,” he said with a smile, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “My mum, you know how she gets,” he added with an eye roll.

Bridget merely raised an eyebrow back at him. While she knew Juliet was quite frankly the epitome of the overbearing mother and she was constantly sending her son messages and calling even while they were on their honeymoon, Gary had never hid any conversations with his mother from her. In fact, he’d always made sure to include her in them because he said if he had to suffer through his mother’s ramblings then she needed to bear the burden with him and they’d always make a joke of the whole thing, rolling their eyes and making silly faces to each other as they listened to her and answered back when necessary. So that and the fact that he seemed to be trying too hard for nonchalance made her feel this wasn’t exactly true.

It was only a few moments of her staring later that Gary relented. “Okay, fine,” he said with a shrug. “It was a work call.”

If possible, that actually made her more aggravated than the fact that he’d initially lied he’d been on the phone with Juliet. She loved Gary, she truly did with all her heart, but she’d never met someone quite as obsessed with work as he was. Sometimes it got too much.

“Seriously?” She still had that raised eyebrow, and she crossed her arms to make sure he could see how displeased she was in case there was still any doubt.

“C’mon, Bridge,” he said with a sigh. “You know I wouldn’t take it if it wasn’t serious.”

“You always say it’s serious, Gary.”

“Well, yeah. Construction jobs are serious work,” he argued back, a slight frown marked between his eyebrows. “Not only are there several safety and regulation issues that I need to keep an eye on, remember that now I’m responsible for the whole company.”

“I know, I get it,” she said, raising a placating hand. She did not need to hear him going off about how stepping up as the CEO was a huge responsibility and too many people were counting on him. “I know you’ve taken over for your grandpa only a few months ago and you want to do a good job. But hun, this is the only honeymoon we’re gonna get. It’s literally a once in a lifetime thing and we promised we would leave work back home while we’re here.”

“I know,” he said, his eyes and the lines on his forehead softening a little. “And we had a few wonderful days here just the two of us, didn’t we?”

“We had,” she agreed with a small nod.

“But if there’s an emergency I can’t very well leave my people hanging, can I?” He said, making a gesture with his hands as if asking her to be reasonable.

“You left people in charge while you’re out,” she countered, tilting her chin up a little and taking a few steps forward, getting into his personal space. “And we didn’t even take a full week to be here. I don’t want to lose the magic of this place worrying about things back home. Can’t it be just the two of us, at least while we’re here?”

He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a soft smile. “You know it’s just the two of us.”

“Not when you’re going outside to take work calls,” she pointed out, leaning back a little to look him in the eye, even as she accepted his embrace and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. “Look, I also have things I need to worry about, what with both Rocco and Thea taking off so suddenly. But I’m trusting Noah is handling it until we’re back, and you should trust Najuma to take care of things for a few days. She’s your work partner and the COO for Construction Operations Rennell & Reid, after all.”

He nodded a little, seeing her point. “You’re right,” he said with another smile. “Yeah, you’re right, darling.”

She beamed at hearing his pet name for her. “Of course, I am. You should know I’m always right, by now.”

“Yeah, you really are.” He let out a low chuckle before leaning down to give her a soft kiss. “I’m sorry. If this happens again, I’ll just tell people to talk to Naj and that I’ll get back to them next week.”

“Thanks, hun,” she said, wrapping her arms tightly around him and breathing in his scent as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “It means a lot to me.”

“You’ll let me make it up to you?” The husky tone of his voice in her ear sent shivers down her spine.

“Maybe,” Bridget answered with a smirk, her dark eyes already twinkling with excitement.

She did let him make it up to her later that night. But she might’ve enjoyed herself a little too much ‘punishing’ him as well. But she figured it was fair, after all, how was he supposed to learn his lesson unless she made a point?

Gary laughed a little when she showed him what she’d brought over in her luggage and what exactly she had in mind, but then he grinned broadly and said he was game. One of the many things she loved about this man was how willing he was to try things out, as long as she was with him and it was something they both thought would be fun.

She knew the pink fluffy handcuffs and the rest of the kit had been a half-serious, half-joking gift from one of her uni friends for her hen party. After all, Blake had known of certain predilections and curiosities of hers for a long while now. But truthfully Bridget had never felt comfortable enough with her partners to explore these things.

Until Gary, that is. With him, she felt she could try anything, at least once.

Initially, she’d thought she’d like to be the one restrained — and honestly, she still thought she’d enjoy the hell out of it, on another occasion. But since the idea was to make Gary regret the errors of his way, so to speak, they’d decided he’d be the one tied up first.

“Is this okay?” She asked with a rather nervous smile as she snapped one of the cuffs around his wrist. She was glad they’d made sure to get a room with a king-sized bed that came with a beautifully carved headboard as she looped the handcuffs through the spaces above Gary’s head and closed the other cuff around his other wrist.

“It’s more than okay, babe,” he reassured her with a grin, his blue eyes practically sparkling up at her. He tilted his chin up and she leaned down, teasing a slow, tantalising kiss as she pressed her lips to his, her tongue swiping his lower lip. He opened his mouth, his tongue meeting hers in a series of languid, sensual movements that left them both a little breathless.

It was just what she needed to feel emboldened enough and, after checking on the restraints that tied his feet to the foot of the bed, Bridget set out to tease Gary until he’d be positively begging her for mercy.

She started by kissing and caressing his exposed skin, starting at the hollow of his throat, leaving slight bite marks on his shoulders and collarbone. Her hands travelled down his chest and abs, her nails scratching gently as she took her time, her lips following as she brushed kisses after the invisible path her hands marked. The way his breath caught when she reached one of his sensitive spots was music to her ears and she felt a little heady with how completely exposed he was, how he was literally putting himself in her hands for her to do as she pleased.

If she were honest, she’d never been a blowjob enthusiast. She knew some of her friends loved giving oral, but she’d always rather be on the receiving end. But having him restrained and her being the one solely responsible for his pleasure did something to her. He could barely move his hips, even as he pressed the heels of his feet against the bed for leverage as she took him completely in her mouth. She licked, sucked and teased him in all the ways she knew would drive him crazy and she felt herself growing so excited that she was the one causing him to react with soft moans and groans, curse words falling like a blasphemous litany from his lips.

She could feel he was close, as his stomach tightened and his thighs seemed to shudder under her hands, and she eased her lips off him with a loud pop. He let out a loud gasp as she licked her lips and lifted her eyes to meet his. He groaned and strained against the cuffs around his wrists, but she merely sent him a sweet smile as she sat back on her thighs between his legs.

Bridget brought one of her hands up and made a trail down her own body, watching as Gary avidly kept track of her movements. The sound he made when her fingers reached for her centre was a mix between a moan and a whimper. She teased herself for a few moments, building on the pleasure she already felt running through her veins before she leaned forward and wrapped her lips around his length once more.

She honestly lost track of time as she did this over and over, bringing him to the very edge only to back off and tease herself as he was forced to watch. To be fair, she also always stopped just before she could reach her own climax, barely containing her own whimper as she caught her breath and leaned forward to take him into the heat of her mouth once more.

She could feel the desperation rolling off of him, his body completely straining in her direction as if she had him pulled by a string. His muscles strained against the cuffs around his wrists and ankles, his body trembling with sweat glinting off his skin as he tried to buck against her lips. They’d established a safe word before starting this, but he hadn’t cracked yet. Still, she could see it in his eyes, he was on his breaking point — only he was too stubborn to say it out loud. She eased off his erection, mindful of how oversensitive he was and she paused for a few moments, the two of them breathing heavily in the still air of their room.

She crawled up until her lips hovered just above his and he pushed up, taking her into a desperate, messy kiss that left her head spinning. She gasped against his lips, and asked, “do you want me to untie you?”

“No,” he growled even as he strained against the cuffs. “But f-fuck ─ I-I need ─ Bridge!”

Even though he seemed incapable of completing his thoughts, she knew what he meant. She pressed her forehead against his and said soothingly, “I know, baby. I got you.”

She positioned herself above his hips, making sure to keep a light touch so he wouldn’t be overwhelmed. She was so ready for him that they both gasped when his tip first touched her wet folds, then she pushed down until she’d taken his entire length.

“Oh my fucking god,” Gary hissed as he closed his eyes and pulled against the cuffs on reflex, but then he snapped his eyes open to look at her and she leaned forward, meeting his lips even as she flexed her hips.

“Oh fuck,” she gasped against his mouth, as she could feel the tendrils of pleasure building with the slightest of movements.

“Babe, I’m not ─ I can’t─”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, once more meeting him for a kiss as she reached her hands up and laced her fingers with his as she moved her hips against him. He arched his back and levered his hips as best as he could, thrusting up into her, meeting her rocking movements and it wasn’t long before she felt him tensing under her.

Tremors wrecked his whole body and she kept on riding him as she felt him being overcome by his orgasm. She could swear stars exploded behind her eyelids as she reached her own climax with a muffled cry against his lips.

Time seemed to stand still as they came down from the high and simply recovered their breaths. Bridget reached up with slightly trembling fingers and removed the cuffs from his wrists, Gary immediately wrapping his arms around her. She made a move to sit up to remove the restraints around his ankles, but he just shook his head and kept her firmly pressed against his chest.

“Fuck me,” he said after a moment, laughter bubbling up with his words. Before she could respond with a cheeky ‘I just did’ and he said, “listen, if that was supposed to be punishment for bad behaviour I might just start pissing you off more often on purpose.”

“Don’t you dare,” she said with a chuckle even as she pressed a soft kiss to his neck. “Or maybe I could just threaten never doing this again if you cross me.”

He gasped in mock outrage, making her chuckle again and he turned to press a kiss to her temple. “I love you so much, darling.”

“I love you too, hun.”

JULES: turn around

Jules went to the office early Wednesday morning, as much of a mix of emotions as she’d been when she’d left Sweet Cheeks Monday afternoon. Today was a little harder considering she was supposed to be meeting her lawyer during her lunch to review the divorce papers; they’d look over them and then schedule a time to meet with Suresh and his own lawyer when they were ready to sign. 

It felt like a storm cloud was hanging over her head, as dramatic as that sounded. Any high that she might still be feeling from how well her lunch with Delilah went had been washed away by the realization that her divorce was moving full-steam ahead. Despite the fact that she wanted to sever her ties with Suresh, it didn’t make it any easier. It definitely should have made it easier, she should have been ready to sign those papers and be done with it, but she just wasn’t ready to admit that she’d failed.

Jake’s words suddenly rang in her mind. 

It doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you grew and you changed, and maybe he didn’t grow and change alongside you. 

He had a point, didn’t he? Jules had always felt like her ambition had been bigger than her relationship, her desire to do more so much greater than her husband’s. Maybe she’d finally outgrown him, after all?

She didn’t even realize she was standing outside of her office, the walk there a hazy memory. Jules went in and settled down behind her desk, prepared to tackle the mountain of emails likely waiting for her. What she hadn’t been expecting to see was Delilah’s name sitting at the very top of her inbox.

Jules,

We’d love for you to do the interview. I’ll follow up with more information soon.

It was great talking to you and I look forward to working more with you.

Delilah

Holy shit. Had she really gotten it? She’d had such a good feeling leaving lunch on Monday but she hadn’t thought she would actually get the interview. If anything, she was fully expecting a very kind rejection letter to be sitting in her inbox, not this. That black cloud hanging over her disappeared in an instant as she read over the email again and again, soaking up every word.

This wasis exactly what she needed. This interview would give her the chance to move to a better magazine, to write about things she was actually passionate about rather than about who was going to be the next to chart the Top 40. Not that she didn’t respect the people she worked with, but it wasn’t what she wanted to do. 

She sent a quick message to their marketing director, Hope, letting her know they’d need to get a promo shoot in the works before she headed towards Talia’s office. The thought of seeing her boss today of all days didn’t really instil a whole lot of confidence in her but she just needed to get it out of the way. Then she could focus all of her attention on her research and drafting her questions.

When Jules approached the door to Talia’s office, it was open just a tad, far enough that she could hear bits and pieces of the whispered argument happening inside. She cracked open the door a bit more, not even surprised at the sight of Suresh standing in there, the lines of his body tense and defensive. 

“What do you want, Jules?” Talia bit out, reluctantly drawing her attention away from Suresh to focus on her, instead.

Something akin to anger flared up in her chest, but she forced herself to take a deep breath before she spoke. “I was just coming by to let you know that I secured the Mason Knowles interview. His manager just emailed me.”

Suresh’s green eyes widened as he turned to look at her, the shock on his face almost as satisfying as it had been the other day when she’d told him she knew about Talia’s fiancée catching them together. “What do you mean you secured the interview? I’ve been trying to get in contact with his manager for months now, how did you––”

“I already emailed Hope so she could start organizing the shoot. Once I have the details nailed down, I’ll send it to you. That’s all,” Jules said, giving them both a sharp look before she left, shutting the door firmly behind herself.

As soon as she was back in her office, she sent a quick email to her attorney, asking to reschedule. The last thing she needed was to ruin her good mood with what would no doubt be a hellish meeting. She would ride this high for as long as she could, knowing that she’d finally succeeded in something that he hadn’t. For so long, it had felt like she was competing alongside him and losing every step of the way. When they first got together, he told her he admired her ambition, but now she was starting to wonder if he just liked that he thought he could always do better than her.

She worked her morning away, contacting everyone she needed to make sure that this interview went off without a hitch. By the time lunch came around, she wasn’t particularly hungry so she headed to the lounge to make herself a coffee so she could power through the rest of the day.

“Jules!”

She’d just finished adding her creamer when a voice sounded from the doorway. She looked up to see Hope standing there, a bright smile on her face. For a moment, Jules wondered if the marketing director had her confused with someone else but no, Hope was looking right at her. 

“Oh, hi!” Jules said, giving the other woman a smile of her own. “Did you uh, get my email earlier?”

“Yeah, I did, but I was actually coming to ask you if you had plans after work?” Hope asked, and Jules shook her head, bringing her coffee mug to her lips.

“No. No plans,” she confirmed before taking a sip of the drink.

“A few of us were going to go grab drinks after work if you wanted to join? It’s just myself, Jen, and Blake—we always go to Sweet Cheeks on Wednesdays to have wine and decompress. The bartender, Allegra, is a friend of Jen’s and always treats us really well. And by that I mean she always over pours our glasses,” Hope said, and Jules had to fight the urge to let her surprise show on her face.

She hadn’t thought anyone in the office really knew who she was, or if they did, they only knew her because of Suresh. And they hadn’t exactly been a couple that got invited to things…

But she and Suresh weren’t together anymore. And now it was like people could really see her.

“That sounds great. Yeah, I’d love that,” she said, and Hope’s smile grew.

“Amazing. We’ll all meet in the lobby and walk over together, okay? I’ll see you then!” the other woman said before she left the lounge, leaving Jules smiling into her cup of coffee.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Have some more bits from The Magi. Or, Ficino rambles for five pages in a letter and Cavalcanti is trying to keep him from dying.

~~~

Marsilio Ficino to his most unique friend Giovanni Cavalcanti: Greetings

Father died in March and I cannot help but I feel I owe him a book. I have dedicated many to you, my dearest Vannino, my Hero (I thank God daily that in his wisdom he made us for one another). Others I have dedicated to Lorenzo the younger, out of love for him, naturally, but also out of the love I bore and bear for his grandfather. Others and others, I’ll not list everyone. Kings! Popes! Wisest of friends!

Get to the point, Marsilio, I hear you say.

In my mind’s eye you are in our secret oak grove. The one with the tree that has twisted itself into a knot which we’ve named Diana after the great huntress. Sometimes, I call the tree Venus, for what I assume must be obvious reasons. But! my Vannino is in his pretty blue set—the one with the silver buttons on the doublet which has collar and cuffs pricked out with leaves of gold. Your Court Suit, as you call it. You’re looking remarkably handsome and seated on a heavy brocade blanket reading Ovid. Maybe Virgil. You have both with you—there, I’ve resolved it.

Above you a spotless sky, the sun shining brighter than Orpheus’ genius or Plato’s light. (Tell neither I said so.) Your hair has gone that pretty autumnal auburn it becomes when you are much on horseback or walking the hills with your Marsilio. At your hand a cup of wine. Something leathery and dark that Dante would have had. Maybe it is a varietal he might have shared with your ancestor Guido.

You are thus, in my mind, and I am telling you all this and you say: Marsilio, Marsilio, you’ve come away again from your point.

What is my point?

Nothing so grand as to warrant this letter but as you are in Florence and I am in Celle, where I have been since April, I must write it all down. I’m driving my father’s hounds mad, I make them come with me when I walk the hills and I’ve been doing a good amount of walking.

I suppose, the hounds are mine, since my father left me the majority of his estate, large, hairy Bruno and Orpho included. My brothers have written me about the issue of the houses and how they feel a little done-over by our father. It will come to more legal trouble. Arcangelo is so swift to jump into the lap of a lawyer he hardly waits for me to reply to say: very well, take this place or that. I wish to keep our father’s property at Celle. My place near Careggi, thankfully, was made over formally to me many years back. Arcangelo and Danielo can argue and feud over the place in the city and that one that is down in Gaville. My father’s ill thought-out olive venture which ate into half the estate. I’m still clearing the ledger of his life, so to speak. My mother frets. She came in only an hour ago to say to me, ‘Marsilio, if Angelo is to have the house in Florence I could not abide to live there for I cannot be under the same roof as his wife Julia.’

‘You are free to stay here or at Careggi. Wherever you would most be comfortable,’ I replied.

‘But I would be most comfortable in the city.’

‘No matter, I will let a house there.’

‘Your father left you our home.’

‘Father didn’t want to bother to properly divvy up his property fairly so left it all to me as the easiest thing to do, therefore it is fair that I divide it amongst my brothers.’

Alright, I didn’t say out loud that last line. I simply said that I sympathise with my brothers—how must it look to them? The one son who has no wife, children, nor dependents gets everything. It would grate the most patient and kind-hearted of men.

Marsilio Ficino, you cry, Get to the point! I’ve no time for your dithering.

(I know my actual Vannino would not be so harsh. He would be kind. But, I know you have some frustrations with my foibles, thankfully patience for them as well.)

My point.

Plague is here. We are all miserably aware of this. I mean to write a treatise on how to protect oneself from it and how to take care should one become so afflicted. I will dedicate it to my father Diotifeci and hope that he finds pleasure in it and looks on it, with his spirit’s eye, fondly.

Perhaps it is for the best that he died when he did. He would have died of worry, otherwise, because of the fall out from the cruel, pointless foolishness of those who I hoped would, at the last gasp, see sense. Perhaps that was foolish of me.

This leads me to my second point: If you think it wise, please send my love to Lorenzo. Tell him his brother is in my prayers every day. Also, that Giuliano’s untimely death should not be carried as a loadstone in his chest. I know what it is to lose someone senselessly and without warning. Lorenzo should look to the future of our beloved Republic and act in her best interest—that is the best and finest way to honour Giuliano’s memory. (Add that it would also spite the Medici opponents and rivals, if you think it would be received as a gentle jest from Lorenzo.)

Live justly, openly, honestly, and with Christian forgiveness.

However, if you think it unwise to pass on my love to him, say nothing. Or, at least, say very little on my behalf.

Between you and I, Lorenzo is killing us all because of love. Senseless! Senseless!

La—now, I’ve gone and written something you must burn. Just as well I end here, my mother has come to say that there is a man here asking to see me. That he wishes to discuss both my father and Hermes. Most strange. But, I must away.

My love for you never diminishes, you are my soul’s other half and I yours. Write me when you are able. Give my love to Poliziano and Landino, should you see them. And your brother Lenzo, of course.

Come to me in Celle, my Vannino. I miss you more than a starving man misses bread.

San Leo a Celle, October 1478

Addendum: The man was not a friend of my father’s, as I had presumed. He wished to discuss Hermes and Picatrix. I may need to return to Florence, briefly, to collect my copy as I do not have him with me here and I wish to check a few points.

~~~~~~~~~

Giovanni Cavalcanti to his Marsilio Ficino: Greetings

Marsilio, if you come within ten miles of Florence I will have heart failure. You will, by that act alone, be the death of your Vannino and neither of us wish for that. Tell me where you’ve hidden your little, illicit magic book and I will send it to you. Or, perhaps, bring it to you myself should my business here wrap up swiftly.

On no account, Marsilio Ficino, are you to come here.

My brother saw Lorenzo just last evening and Lorenzo said to him: How is our little Platonist?

Well, I’ve heard. Handling his father’s estate out near Figline.

I suppose I will have to resolve that issue.

When I saw him three days back he asked: Tell me again how it was that our Marsilio should be out of the city when the Pazzi so heinously murdered my brother? Know you an answer to that riddle, Giovanni?

I just smiled. Which is always my answer when Lorenzo stares at me and asks me difficult questions.

God help me, Marsilio, the things I will do for you.

Florence, October 1478

NB: I found your Picatrix stashed in a secret place with little intimacies I’ve sent you. You fly close to the sun, my Icarus. Please remember the lesson we are to take away from that!

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

Elle’s Unsolicited Commentary on BOSJ 30 Night 1

WHAT A SHOW. BELOW LIE THE COMMENTS I RANTED INTO MY PHONE AS I WATCHED, HOPEFULLY PROPERLY EDITED THIS TIME XD

Match 1 - Clark Connors vs. Kevin Knight: okay so my first thing is that when the bullet club music and it wasn't Ace I was sad because like my mind is just triggered to react to the "BULLET CLUB 4-4-4-4-LYFE" being Ace and Bey because I am an Impact girlie at heart. Also I'm sorry I still can't take Clark Connor seriously in Bullet Club mode. Will I get there are some point? TBD. Why is Kevin Knight's title upside down also how do he and Kushi see in those sunglasses. The way that members of the crowd laughed at Clark when he shouted "WHAT?" at them - it was a fun moment,  good fun heel work, ya know? Clark winning this match makes sense because it boosts his credibility as BC's newest member. Gedo, oh Gedo, why must you introduce a chair. Also why didn't Kushi come help Kevin :(?

Match 2 - Taiji Ishimori vs. Ryusuke Taguchi:  Taiji, I love you, I do, but that hat and the mask are just not it (to me, to each spider their own web). Yes I love Taiji but I am rooting for Taguchi to win unironically. Can't be mad at Taiji for winning, but rooting for Taguchi in the next one. I'm surprised he kept his promise longer than 30 seconds this year...

Match 3 - Dan Moloney vs. Bushi: skipped (no hate to either, I just only have so much time to fit nooj in)

Match 4 - Douki vs. Kushida: I just let out the dreamiest actual chin resting in hand sigh when Douki came out - the silver and black look on him is just chef's kiss I just WOW. Kushida, I'm so sorry you know that I love you but I must root for Douki. Very important Douki update THERE ARE SPARKLES ON HIS PANTS. Also I should probably mention the onion? That is part of commentary today? The crowd cheering for Douki has me emotional also it does appear we may have disheveled-hair-out-of ponytail-Douki, so I must thank Kushida for that. Douki's reversal on that submission! Avert your eyes his nosey is out I repeat HIS NOSEY IS OUT and he's in a double wrist lock so he can't cover it back up! This just in Douki is actually trying to kill me at the end of the match where after he gets the pin he rolls back and there's a close-up shot of him with disheveled hair like coming out of his ponytail while dramatically moving his arms in victory which emphasizes his biceps and also looking like he's suffered. Post match, first of all I love the little lyrics with the Just Five Guys song that's hilarious, second, DOUKI VICTORY 😭😭😭

Match 5 - Akira vs. Wato: Commentary mentioned Ace Austin and it hurt me stop mentioning Ace if you're not going to give me Ace. I'm not saying the timing of me saying that into my phone and then Ace posting on Instagram is like a thing but it is kind of funny. Also my son  Wato should be allowed to kill anyone he wants. We have the Young Lions acting as human guardrails which is a like that makes sense and glad they're doing it hope they stay safe also kind of adorable and funny and also also because Kyle Fletcher has a feud with guardrails does this mean he has to fight the Young Lions? The reversals and counters at the end of this match were really really fun also I love a win for my son.

Match 6 - Lio Rush vs. Sho: Sho coming out with the definitely not a wrench in a handkerchief. Classic. Also, I appreciate his dedication to the Yugioh card aesthetic with that jacket. Two things - first, Sho immediately breaking his promise to play things clean? Hilarious. Second, Kevin Kelly going "YOU LYING ASSHOLE" or whatever like that's me, XD. I ended up skipping to the end of the match but I do love that Lio won.

Match 7 - Yoh vs. Robbie Eagles: ZSJ's son coming out with Robbie Eagles is very cute. Said son also needs to stop with his cute little smile. Was not ready for sassy Yoh was not ready for sassy Yoh WAS NOT READY FOR SASSY YOH. Yoh's calves are visible his calves are visible why can I see his calves??????  Okay he just took his ring jacket stuff off and he's wearing shorts made entirely of Jean Pockets I think and also cute little fringed armbands. Yoh doing the air guitar and then throwing it to Tana was very cute. My poor Yoh :(

Match 8 - TJP vs. Titán: skipped Good for Titán on the win!! Also I am shocked that TJP gave him a high five (most reluctant slap of hand when offered a handshake ever but STILL).

Match 9 - El Desperado vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru: Commentary mentioning that Suzuki-gun is no longer a thing hurt me deeply. I knew that watching New Japan again would force me to recognize that this has happened instead of being denial like I have for the past several months but it still hurts.

Match 10 - Speedball Mike Bailey vs. Hiromu Takahashi: Chris Charlton is so correct: "I am blinded by his smile and his positivity." I'm so here for Chris fanboying over Speedball, he's SO RIGHT. Hiromu, dear strange cat man, this is going to be so good. CHRIS' DESCRIPTION OF SPEEDBALL'S PRESSER SPEECH IS SO ON POINT NOT ONLY FOR HIS SPEECH BUT SPEEDBALL IN GENERAL, THIS MAN WILL SMILE HAPPILY WHILE DEAD SERIOUSLY SAYING HE WILL DESTROY HIS OPPONENT AND IT'S SO. Speedball going for the handshake bow hug combo and then Hiromu pulling him in for the attack! Speedball's purple and gold gear is everything. THIS MATCH GOES HARD, AS EXPECTED. OH MY GOSH SPEEDY ACTUALLY WON I'M FREAKING OUT I DID NOT EXPECT HIROMU TO LOSE HIS FIRST MATCH IN THE TOURNEY BUT THIS IS SO COOL ALSO SPEEDY LOOKS SHOCKED TOO. Speedball, sitting next to Hiromu and reaching his hand out with the most desperate expression I'M FEELING EMOTIONS. HIROMU TAKE HIS FUCKING HAND. OKAY GOOD. OH WAIT, HE HELD UP A FINGER. HM. OH SPEEDBALL IS GONNA SAY WORDS NOW. AW I LOVE THE CROWD CHEERING FOR HIM. Speedball casually flexing Japanese, French, and English in the opening of his speech before going into English aldkjaldj. He's such a darling bean and I love him.

Post matches -  "The onion and I have standards." -Kevin Kelley XD

[jackoshadows]

the books repeatedly tell us that jon loves free-spirited, strong, "lonely lovely lethal" gnc women like arya and yet this fandom insists that akshully jon is meant to overcome this ~bias~ and realize that tradfems are the only worthwhile women and end up with the sister who internalized cat's disdain for bastards and pretended jon didn't exist for their entire childhood. please get me out of here.

Just ignoring the text or twisting the text to shove their crackship through somehow.

Like I said, Jonsa !Jon Snow is not at all, in any way canon book Jon Snow. Which is why it's unfathomable that someone who actually likes book Jon Snow would ship him with Sansa.

Just the other day, I saw this post on the tag.

I mean....

It's not possible that someone actually read the books and came up with this.

According to this person, Jon Snow, the Jon Snow who:

had a sword made for his 9 year old little sister without anyone knowing, made Satin his steward, garrisoned NW castles with spearwives, shook hands with Tyrion Lannister and called him friend, made peace with the Freefolk ending an 8000 year old feud, hired them to work for the NW, made friends with a Giant, aided Stannis Baratheon with his Northern campaign as LC of the Wall breaking neutrality rules, send Mance to rescue ‘Arya’ breaking rules of neutrality, broke his NW oaths to fight the Boltons and save Arya....

This Jon Snow wants everyone to follow the rules? The rules that label him bastard and treat him as less than his fellow siblings?

And when has Sansa been upset in the books that Ned broke the rules? On the contrary, in the books Sansa sees Jon's bastardy and how Jon is treated (including by herself) and wants to punish Arya the same way because she looks and behaves differently. Sansa is not upset that Jon is a bastard, she's upset that Arya is not one as well!

Sansa could never understand how two sisters, born only two years apart, could be so different. It would have been easier if Arya had been a bastard, like their half brother Jon. She even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon’s mother had been common, or so people whispered. Once, when she was littler, Sansa had even asked Mother if perhaps there hadn’t been some mistake. Perhaps the grumkins had stolen her real sister. But Mother had only laughed and said no, Arya was her daughter and Sansa’s trueborn sister, blood of their blood. Sansa could not think why Mother would want to lie about it, so she supposed it had to be true. - Sansa, AGOT  

At no one point does the author dedicate page time to Sansa pondering on Jon's bastardy or how her father broke the rules. The only characters who tackle this are Catelyn, Jon and Ned himself.

Honorable Ned siring a bastard is thrown at Catelyn by Jaime Lannister, while being held prisoner and at the Wall it's pointed out to Jon, that even his own father was not true to his honor.

The simple reason for Jon and Sansa not getting along is that unlike his other siblings, Sansa treated Jon like a bastard and kept her distance from him and rarely interacted with him. The reason why Arya and Sansa did not get along was because Sansa looked down on Arya for not being pretty enough or graceful and elegant like she was or for playing with the smallfolk.

The problematic relationships Sansa had with both Jon and Arya was because Sansa did not want a relationship with them. It's not Jon's fault and it's not Arya's.

Not to mention, looks like good ol' Sansa was a regular snitch, telling on both Arya and Jon and getting them into trouble, so much so that they even had a catchphrase

“You’ll find someone,” Jon promised her. “King’s Landing is a true city, a thousand times the size of Winterfell. Until you find a partner, watch how they fight in the yard. Run, and ride, make yourself strong. And whatever you do…”

Arya knew what was coming next. They said it together.

“…don’t… tell… Sansa! - Jon, II, GOT.

Instead of making up headcanons like how Jon wants all the rules to be followed and therefore does not get along with Sansa because those rules were broken etc. etc., why not just read the books, which lays out pretty clearly why Jon and Sansa didn't get along?

[lunapwrites]

[...]Inversion serves no practical purpose for the layman caster, being a complicated and delicate process that requires such a high level of skill in abstract visualisation that most would struggle to perform even a basic matrix alteration without risking compromising the integrity of the spell. Conversely, adding a twist of the wand during the final motion will increase the shield's efficacy by approximately 33%, while adding a reflective effect. The direction and degree of the twist determines the angle of the rebounding spell within a statistically insignificant margin of error[...]

"I leave you alone for five minutes, and you've got your nose in that book again."

James reached down and pulled the journal from his hands -- gently, and with care not to lose the page, which Remus appreciated.

"I only had an idea--"

"You're always having ideas," James supplied archly, pressing a cup of some dubious liquid into his hands.

"At least mine are good," Remus grumbled, sniffing the drink tentatively. "Urgh, what did you put in this?"

"Little of this, little of that," came the cryptic reply.

Remus briefly debated the merits of burying his best mate in his own backyard. Maybe beneath the tree; he'd probably get a kick out of that. Probably make a joke about permanent wood or something equally crass, which honestly would just set Remus to giggling like one of his third years and he'd never get the job done. He'd keep dropping the shovel.

He must have made a face because James just laughed at him -- that big, booming laugh of his, like a shot in the heart, and Remus loved him so much he could just punch himself in the fucking face.

"I hate you," he insisted, kicking James in the shins (gently.) James grinned and kicked him back.

"Love you too, Moony."

"I will rip your arms off and use them to play YYZ off your fat fucking head."

"It will be the best thing to happen to it, I assure you."

"Since when do you play the drums?" Lily asked as she swept into the room with her own drink in hand. She paused to brush her lips against Remus' forehead before kissing James on the cheek and settling down on the chair beside him.

(Lily did not ask why Remus was threatening her husband with violence, because after more than twenty years of dealing with their antics, she was well inured to them.)

"I don't," Remus admitted, "but I'd learn. I'd learn just for that."

Lily shook her head fondly.

"I'm sure you would, you're obsessive like that." She took a sip of her mystery drink and grimaced, but did not flinch. "Speaking of obsessive, how's the feud?"

Remus groaned, dragging a hand down his face.

"I'm about to single-handedly start a war with France at this rate." He picked the deck up and shuffled it, just to have something to do with his hands. "He's fucking relentless. He published a thirty-three page treatise on my subject, in English, in one of the biggest international journals in existence and it's like he went out of his way to disprove every word I've ever written in the snidest way humanly possible."

"That does take some dedication," James allowed.

"He included pictures."

"Oh, now that's just petty."

Remus began dealing.

"The worst bit is with the pictures, I can see what he's doing with his wand" -- James snorted -- "so I know he's not lying, which was my first thought, or fucking up the wand movement. So it is rebounding on him. Somehow."

Remus was still not entirely clear on how Black was managing that, but it had also not been Black's first time reproducing his results, as he had worn full protective gear in the photographs -- including a face shield. And while it was gratifying to watch the bastard set himself on fire, that was... also very much not the result that Remus wanted to see, from an academic perspective.

... He was definitely framing that picture, though.

"So what's your next move?" asked James as he examined the hand Remus had dealt him.

(It was shit; Remus could tell because that little knot between his brows had flickered into existence for just a second.)

If Remus was honest with himself -- and he generally wasn't -- what he should do was use Black's findings as a starting point for testing his own methods for flaws. And he would do that. Probably. But what he was also going to do was to test Black's suggestions -- because oh, did he ever have suggestions, and of course they all included using Mordenkainen's sodding Method, because Black obviously had a hard-on for the man the size of the fucking Eiffel Tower.

So yes. Remus would play by his rules, and he'd figure out a way to break them. It was kind of his thing. And then...

"You know that guest lecture I'm scheduled to give at the end of August?" he asked lightly, meeting Lily's eyes over the table. She nodded.

(She'd also been chewing her lip. A middling hand; not bad, not great.)

"At the academy in Reykjavík, wasn't it?"

Remus hummed affirmatively, leaning back in his chair as he picked up his own cards.

"Well, I'll have a captive audience of aspiring academicians and a whole stage to myself. Reckon I can get in some quality time making my bloody point."

James discarded two cards and replaced them, throwing his head back and letting out a single, sharp bark of laughter.

(Whatever he'd just drawn was worse.)

"Aren't they broadcasting you over the Wireless? I think I remember you saying something about that before. It was rather a big deal."

The only answer Remus gave in return was a wide, wild grin, and two quiet knocks on the table.

James folded with a colourful oath; Lily frowned, but raised him, pushing a small stack of three red chips forward.

Favours.

She would, that arsehole.

Remus responded by pushing a red stack of equal size towards her, followed by a pair of black chips.

Dares.

They stared one another down unblinkingly, each trying to bluff the other into breaking.

Lily pushed two black chips forward, and knocked twice.

"Call," said Remus. Lily arched a brow at him challengingly.

"Show 'em, Lupin."

They slapped their cards down on the table in unison, and Remus felt his triumphant shout die in his throat.

He had forgotten, in his hubris, that Lily bit her lip when she was trying not to laugh, too.

"Oh, cachu hwch," he groaned, dropping his head onto his arms.

"Aww, Lily, you've broken him," James cooed, poking Remus in the shoulder and earning himself a firm punch in the ribs.

Lily grinned smugly.

"Right, so the favours you can cash in by getting Harry through History, kicking and screaming if you must."

"Oh, I must," Remus muttered.

"And the first of your dares will be to attend a luncheon with me on Sunday, in James' place."

"Polyjuice?"

"Yes."

Remus looked at James, who shook his head.

"I am begging you. Her sister will be there."

"Brilliant." Remus turned back to Lily with a deeply aggrieved sigh. "The second?"

Her grin turned positively wicked.

"If you ever happen meet your eternal rival in person, you are hereby honour-bound to buy him a drink on my behalf."

[linkedhearts]

Some of my headcannons about the gods and Links. It’s really more of an AU at this point.

•I believe while Fierce Deity is a god of war he fights on the good side.

•I like to think he’s actually Hylias older brother who used to care for her deeply.

•When the Hylians started treating the other species of Hyrule unfairly he chose to step in (the ostracization of the Gerudo, the massacre of the Sheikah).

•Hylia didn’t like that he was fighting against her chosen people even though what they were doing was wrong so she ordered him not to interfere with her world and it’s people. He loved his sister so to avoid conflict he backed off.

•When Hylia split into three each sister gained a part of her personality.

•Farore is the kindest. She just wants people to live in peace. She’s conflicted towards Nayru’s hate towards their brother. (We’ll get to that)

•Din is hotheaded and she doesn’t really think before she acts or speaks, lead mostly by emotion. But she still cares and has kind heart. She respects Deity for his strength, battle strategy, and his dedication to protecting the people of Hyrule.

•Nayru is the worst part of Hylia. She is her stubbornness. Jealousy. She believes that she is the one true goddess and she should get her way. She believes all other beings are beneath her and her chosen people should be allowed to do as they please. She is the leader of the three sisters.

•That being said she knows, even as Hylia, she is not stronger than her brother. She becomes paranoid he will try to overthrow her. She is scared of his power and tries to convince him he should split into three like her that way he does not hold to much power.

•Deity refused.

•Thus begins a bit of a sibling feud. Mostly one-sided. Deity still loves his sister/sisters and chooses not to engage.

•The feelings in Nayru don’t subside but grow stronger and she convinces her sisters they must do something about him.

•Her sisters don’t quite like the idea she has in mind, but she is the wisest of them and therefore she must be making the right decision.

•They trick Deity into a false sense of security. He believed they were putting the past behind them and making amends. But instead, they use his trust against him and when he’s weakest trap him and his power in a mask.

•They seal him away in his temple in the moon and it isn’t until Time’s adventure that he is finally found.

•Deity helps Time through his adventure in Termina, this is how he learns Hylia has been sending children to do they’re dirty work and it infuriates him.

•But he is honest with Time: if you keep using my power, it may alter you. You are only mortal after all.

•But Time was a child at the time. He was scared of the monsters and the war, and chose to continue to use the Deity. It did change him.

•As Time got older he wore the mask less and less now understanding the weight of the power, but after wearing it for so long they still have a connection and can speak to each other.

[ibijau]

Can there be grovelling in the next chapter of the concubine au? That's one of my favorite tropes in royalty au's -- where the one with power gets mad and the other person goes right down on their knees (or flat on the ground as appropriate) to talk to them (or not talk to them), and they're terrified because the power differential is so big... Favorite trope ever

oops, I'm... not sure that really counts as grovelling? But nhs is suitably terrified

concubine nhs pt9 / on AO3

If it had been up to him, Lan Xichen might never have returned to that little house. The humiliation of having been lied to for several years, and in so intimate a manner, the realisation that everything had happened for the sake of political scheming, had broken his heart too thoroughly. Nie Huaisang must have been laughing at how stupid he’d been to believe so wholeheartedly that he was loved.

An idiot, like his father before him.

But unlike his father, Lan Xichen wouldn't hide in shame, nor wash his hands of the whole matter.

Because some people had nothing to do with their time but to watch the life of others and comment on it, it was quickly noticed that Lan Xichen had suddenly stopped visiting his beloved concubine. It had already raised some eyebrows while Nie Mingjue was in the capital, but might have been mistaken as an attempt to save that general some face by not sleeping with his brother while he was there. But Nie Mingjue was only briefly around before returning to his troops, and it became a topic for discussion when Lan Xichen still did not go to the little house.

Much as Lan Xichen had enjoyed pretending otherwise when spending the night with Nie Huaisang, he was not an ordinary man, and even his private life did not fully belong to him. He refused to give any importance to the whispers he heard around him, but knew he could not ignore them forever. When Lan Wangji, who disdained gossip of any sort, felt the need to comment on the situation after his weekly visit to Nie Huaisang, while Lan Qiren started looking as if he too wanted to have a word with his nephew on that matter, Lan Xichen gave in.

Unwilling to deal with a lecture, and mortified at the thought of what his uncle might say if he learned how much Lan Xichen resembled his father after all, the emperor had no choice.

A week after learning the truth, Lan Xichen knocked on the door of that little house.

Because he'd come earlier in the day than he normally did, Nie Huaisang had not yet adorned himself with all the delicate silks and golden jewellery he usually wore. Dressed in a simpler manner, he looked again like the young man who had made him laugh in Qinghe, unaware of his identity.

Lan Xichen had been so sure back then that there had been a spark between them. He would never have asked for Nie Huaisang to be sent to the capital, nor dared to flirt so boldly, if he hadn’t been sure.

There was no spark that day. Nie Huaisang wasn't laughing, nor even smiling. Instead he stared at Lan Xichen the way most people did, with a mix of awe and fear. Not a lover in front of his beloved, but a subject in front of his emperor. Something broke inside Lan Xichen’s chest at that realisation.

"We must talk," he announced, using the tone of voice his uncle had trained him to favour during councils and official business, hoping that would hide his pain.

Without a word, Nie Huaisang stepped aside, lowering his gaze in a manner befitting an emperor's subject. Whatever comedy they'd played before had been abandoned. Lan Xichen came in, letting his concubine close the door while he went to sit at their table. There he found a book open, and some paper on which notes had been taken. The subject appeared to be military discipline, something his little bird would never have bothered with, but which Nie Huaisang appeared to understand quite well.

"Sit," Lan Xichen ordered. Then, fearing that Nie Huaisang might attempt to play his old role again and try to climb on his lap, he pointed at the other side of the table. "Over there."

Nie Huaisang meekly nodded, and obeyed without a word. Lan Xichen should have been glad perhaps, but could only think that he'd have preferred for Nie Huaisang to protest at being addressed so harshly, or to complain about being abandoned for so long. His little bird always grumbled if he went too long without a visit, demanding even more affection than usual to make up for the absence, never satisfied until he had been kissed a long while and heard everything that Lan Xichen had done while away. That was how things usually went between them, and if Nie Huaisang had done that, then perhaps Lan Xichen could have hoped that he'd just misunderstood the other day, that something between them had been real…

His father too must have hoped the same, as had many others upon discovering their love was never returned.

"Did your father order you to seduce me?" Lan Xichen asked.

Nie Huaisang startled but didn’t answer, still avoiding his eyes. Of course he’d avoid his eyes. It was not right for a subject to look at their emperor’s face, was it?

“Answer the question.”

“He encouraged it,” Nie Huaisang confessed in a low voice, pulling in the hem of his sleeve, his gaze refusing to meet Lan Xichen’s.

“You’ve lied to me.”

That was met again with silence, when Lan Xichen would have preferred a vehement denial, or perhaps a tearful plea for mercy, or just about anything but that quiet resignation. He hated to see Nie Huaisang afraid of him. He didn’t enjoy inspiring fear in anyone to begin with, but to do so in the person he had loved, whom he still loved in spite of the betrayal, was unbearable.

He wanted to leave right then, to never see so much fear in his little bird. But that, of course, was impossible.

“If I could, I’d send you back to your father,” Lan Xichen said, and that at last got him a reaction. Nie Huaisang shivered and hunched his shoulders, daring a quick glance at him.

Lord Nie could be a very pleasant man. He was well liked by many, including Lan Xichen’s own uncle who had little talent for making friends. But pleasant as he was, Lord Nie was also well known for his peculiar sense of justice, and the way it made him strike hard on those who failed to accomplish their duty. Even his own family was held to those standards, or so Nie Mingjue used to say when they were young.

Nie Mingjue who had been ordered to become friends with Lan Xichen when sent away from home to become the child emperor’s companion, though he’d had the honesty of just saying so, and made it clear at first he didn’t much care for Lan Xichen, not until he’d proven he was worth befriending. Perhaps it should not have come as such a surprise to Lan Xichen that Nie Huaisang too would have had orders, and unlike Nie Mingjue, he wouldn’t have had the security of being a legitimate first born to help him stand his ground.

“I won’t do that,” Lan Xichen announced. “The political ramifications would be more than I wish to deal with at the moment. If I do anything to imply that your family has fallen out of favour, their enemies will try to take advantage, which would complicate our war against the Wens. I don’t want to see that war drag any longer than necessary, so I must continue showing support to you and your father.”

He could only imagine what Jin Guangshan would do if he thought the Nie were no longer under imperial protection. There was an old feud of sorts between the two families, going back a few generations, and Jin Guangshan was the sort of man who would care more about improving his own position than about winning a war. Not only that, but Jin Guangshan had already offered to give some of his illegal children as imperial concubines, and he would try it again, selling his own children for favours. It had disgusted Lan Xichen the first time the offer had been made.

It still disgusted him, and Lord Nie had fallen in his esteem for having done the same.

But hearing this reassurance, some tension appeared to bleed out of Nie Huaisang’s body at last, though he still remained hunched up. He looked small, and frailer than Lan Xichen had ever realised before. He’d always been aware that his little bird was not a very big man, but he noticed for the first how thin he was, how pale… Much paler than he was when they'd met, and more delicate as well. Nie Huaisang looked almost sickly, though his usually animated nature hid. It was almost painful to see him so miserable. Lan Xichen wanted to pull him into his arms and comfort him, the way he’d done so many times before.

He would have done it, if not for the suspicions that his touch would only make Nie Huaisang more miserable.

“I will have to continue coming here regularly,” Lan Xichen said, and again Nie Huaisang’s eyes darted toward his face, wide and terrified. “I will come less. I will say that you’ve encouraged me to start thinking of taking a wife.” It wouldn’t be a lie. The reason he’d been so reluctant to enter a proper marriage had been because he’d wanted to dedicate all his free time to his lover. With that consideration removed, Lan Xichen could more easily do what duty demanded of him. “But I cannot simply stop coming. It would cause too much gossip if we ended things too abruptly.”

Nie Huaisang weakly nodded, and still wouldn’t react.

“Won’t you say something?” Lan Xichen hissed, hoping he sounded angry rather than desperate. “Won’t you defend yourself?”

“You have… I mean, his highness has made his decision. How could this humble one contest it? Whatever his highness decides, this humble one will comply.”

“I see,” Lan Xichen said.

What he saw, what he understood, was that even with his father’s anger to fear, Nie Huaisang was entirely unwilling to continue his comedy, now that he had a chance of escaping it. Lan Xichen could only imagine how much his little bird must have hated him, if he was so eager to be rid of him. It had all been a lie then. Every moment of joy, every kiss, every night spent together…

How pathetic that he'd never suspected anything.

It would take a while to fully accept that none of it had been true. That they hadn’t been in love, no matter how sure of that Lan Xichen had been.

It would take a while to stop loving a little bird who had never really existed.

And still, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t look at him, his eyes cast down, submissive and resigned. Had he looked like that when his father had ordered him to seduce Lan Xichen? He could imagine it too well, Lord Nie tall and domineering, demanding that his second-born sacrifice his pride, while Nie Huaisang, dutiful son that he was, accepted without protest to spend his youth in the bed of another man whom he disliked.

It would have been decided only between the two of them, Lan Xichen thought. He could not imagine Nie Mingjue approving of this, not with how angry he’d sounded the other day when Lan Xichen overheard everything, not when Nie Mingjue had spent so much of their youth complaining that he wanted his half-brother to be given the same respect he got. He’d always said he wanted to see his brother live to his full potential, harassing his father to recognise him, pushing for Nie Huaisang to be more than a mere servant, to be given a chance to study and enter the administration where he was sure to shine.

Nie Mingjue had to hate Lan Xichen, for robbing Nie Huaisang of that.

Lan Xichen, then, realised that he hadn’t lost just his lover. He had also lost his oldest, dearest friend. How could he ever have faced Nie Mingjue after this, how could he have confided in him, now that he knew the truth?

Shaken by that realisation, Lan Xichen stood up. He needed to leave that house. To stay there even one moment more, in front of that man who had lied to him for the entirety of their acquaintance, was more than he could do.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Lan Xichen said, struggling to keep his composure as he opened the door of that little house where he once was so happy.

He left, and still Nie Huaisang didn’t run after him, didn’t beg for another chance, didn’t so much as shed a tear. Lan Xichen, to his shame, wished that he had, just so he could have broken down and tried to salvage something that had never been real in the first place. Even with Nie Huaisang so cold, it was tempting to run back inside and ask what he could have done to earn his love, or if that were impossible, what he might offer to continue this comedy they’d been playing. He would have done just anything, like his father before him.

But unlike his father, Lan Xichen valued his dignity, and would not delude himself into thinking love was possible once it had been proven to be absent.

He walked away from the little house, whipped away the few tears that had escaped him, and returned to his duty.

[seungmvnnie]

Ravenclaw!Renjun x Slytherin!Reader 

word count; 2.7k words (longest one yet, my bias really do be showing)

warnings; *very* suggestive kissing, female reader, bullet point au, unlike the other fics in this series, this one is pretty much entirely based on the build up to the relationship and has little about the characters together, enemies to lovers au. also i researched year 7 DADA content for this to make it realistic so never say i dont put effort into my writing ahahaha

Huang Renjun had been your enemy the second you had stepped foot into your first class at Hogwarts

It was only natural; you both came to school, bright eyed and ready, with the expectation and aspiration to be top of the class

you had read through and memorized all the books on the provided reading list before you had even boarded the train - everyone thought you were made to be a ravenclaw which is why it was a bit of a shock when you were sorted into Slytherin, but you supposed it was your ambition

you had planned to become the youngest minister of magic there had ever been since you were 4

which meant going to Hogwarts, achieving the highest grades and being top of your year, becoming prefect, head girl and going on to work in the ministry and work your way up

little did you know, Renjun also had big plans

to ruin your perfect record

the very first lesson you had with him; you hadn’t even noticed the quiet ravenclaw who sat behind you

that was until the Professor asked a question and he had stated the answer so confidently, you almost flinched

you had answered the first few, which was why his voice interrupting was so shocking

you hadn’t even gotten the opportunity to open your mouth

you knew the answer of course, you just weren’t as quick as he was

which is why the next time your Professor asked a question, you made sure to get there first

it continued like that the whole lesson, a vicious back and forth game of who could answer first

you enjoyed some healthy competition and all, but it was like he was purposely trying to annoy you

the final straw was when you turned around in your seat at the end of the class to glare at him and he had that stupid smug smile on his face that you learnt to despise over the next few years

ever since then, everything was a competition to you two

and everyone at Hogwarts knew it

quidditch

house cup points

you name it, you’ve had an argument over it

neither of you even played quidditch but you would still argue with him about how Slytherin was better

you even once partook in a particularly heated game of wizard chess that ended with a flipped chess board and a few choice words being shouted at each other

there were many people that Renjun didn’t like but you were the only one that could make him flip a wizard chess board in rage (Although, if you asked him he would say you were the one who threw it)

wizard chess was banned after that

everyone hated you for it

this competition was helpful to an extent; you were top of the class in most classes, except the very, very few in which Renjun had beaten you

your days were spent in the library, cramming as much as you could, the desire to beat Renjun outweighing your need for sleep or basic human needs

needless to say he was the exact same but you both made sure to sit as far away from each other as humanely possible in the library

you could honestly say the best day of your life was when you realized that you had made prefect and he didn’t 

that got held over him for a good two years

then again, Renjun could also say that he beat you in your O.W.Ls, so it evened out 

when you started dating Han Jisung in 6th year, who was another Ravenclaw, you had him reporting back Renjun’s grades in the classes you weren’t in with him

you both competed for who had the least amount of detentions given - you had 2, which were both caused by the few times your competition had turned physical and you had shot a few jinxes at him, and Renjun had 5, two from his incident with you and the other 3, a result of his unfortunate friends 

which meant both of you had pretty much squeaky-clean records

you attributed your near perfect grades and having the best record in your year as the main reason why, the summer before seventh year, a neat little green pin with, ‘head girl,’ had arrived in the mail

of course, you were happy that your parents were proud of you, but you felt a vindictive joy knowing that you had something new to hold over Huang Renjun

That was until, you showed up on the first day to the first prefect meeting on the Hogwarts express and were met with the one and only Huang Renjun, the pin on his chest sat bright blue with ‘Head Boy,’ proudly etched into the metal

according to the pale look on his face, he hadn’t expected you to be Head Girl either

Professor Lee, the Headmaster, seemed to recognize his mistake almost immediately, considering he had two teenagers debating each other in his office before the school year had even started

“You can hardly expect me to work with him-”

“Of course, you can’t expect us to work together, I actually know what I’m doing-”

“Know what you’re doing? You weren’t even a prefect you poser-”

“You’re right I wasn’t, but I’m still smarter than you!”

the Headmaster had silenced you both with a wave of his hand, before you could retaliate with the fact that you’re beating him at potions, what does he mean, smarter than you?

“Okay. If you can’t work together, that’s fine. However, I expect one of you to make the mature, adult decision to step down from your position, not push the other one to resign.”

You looked at each other

there was no way either of you were going to do that

He stared at you both for a moment, before sitting down calmly at his desk

“I chose you both because of your maturity, exam results and impressive behavior these past 6 years. I would appreciate if you both put aside this feud and worked together for your student body.”

You stared at your hands, refusing to look at Renjun as shame gnawed at your chest

“Now, back to your dormitories.”

And so you were stuck with him

you thought that perhaps, Professor Lee’s words of wisdom would create a newfound maturity

but no, he was the exact same annoying little shit he was before

just this time, he had authority

As Head Boy and Head Girl, you were required to do prefect duty late at night together

which essentially meant you both had to walk around Hogwarts late at night on a Friday and Saturday and make sure no one was out of bed and wandering the castle when they shouldn’t be

you spent those nights in an awkward silence

you wished you could split up but you had to walk around together for, ‘safety reasons’

realistically you thought that schools were meant to be safe to walk around late at night by yourself but Hogwarts is just built different

as head boy and head girl you were given the most hectic two days of the week as well, which meant you had broken up more parties than you were comfortable to admit

you had even caught your boyfriend at a few parties, but you discreetly avoided giving him detentions

he couldn’t say anything though, he had let off Donghyuck and his girlfriend when you had found them making out

speaking of which

the amount of times you had caught a half-dressed couple attached to each other was just kind of gross

the amount of time you spent with Renjun was starting to defrost you both a little

not a lot though; just simple things like how you would ask him how he found the potions homework

sometimes it would spark an argument, but you could now have a conversation without some sort of spiteful remark

you kind of had to; otherwise you were just left in silence

your time spent together was usually uneventful

 until the weekend of valentine’s day

that Saturday was valentine’s day and the day of a hogsmeade trip

Jisung had asked you to go, but you had an important Herbology exam on Monday, not to mention you had to be alert for prefect duty so you couldn’t be running around Hogsmeade

he had seemed annoyed, but he had always known how much your future meant to you

it seemed Renjun had thought the same because the only people in the library, or it seemed the entire castle was the two of you

prefect duty that night was the least awkward it had ever been

he had even said something that had made you laugh

however the lack of awkward tension between the two of you counterbalanced with the awkwardness of having to check every single broom cupboard you happened across as, as you had expected, many people had been affected by valentine’s day

what you hadn’t expected though, was to spot your boyfriend leaving the Gryffindor common room, hair disheveled and his t-shirt on inside out

“Jisung? What are you doing out of bed at this time?”

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights 

“Sorry, the Gryffindors were throwing another party again. You know what they’re like,” he laughed awkwardly

your eyes flickered down to the red and purple bruises which littered his neck

“I didn’t put those there. You were cheating on me, weren’t you?” You asked so matter-of-factly, that Renjun was somewhat taken aback

you were using the voice you used to answer the teacher or argue with him

you didn’t seem emotional at all

Jisung looked like he wanted to pretend, but his face fell into a tired, yet annoyed look

“Can you blame me?”

You blinked at him

“Yeah.”

“Your whole life is dedicated to another person, (Y/N).” Jisung gestured to where Renjun stood

“No it’s not! Don’t be so ridiculous.” You had scoffed

“You didn’t go out with me today because you wanted to beat him in a test and be awake to spend time with him.”

“That’s not true!”

“You didn’t spend time with me on my birthday because you couldn’t miss a prefect meeting or Huang would hold it over you. You made me spy on him, and he tried to get me to spy on you too. Ever since dating you my life has just been this whirlwind of Huang. You do realize everyone in school thinks you’re in love with each other!”

He was shouting at this point

You looked at him, unable to argue with him this time, but the coldness in your eyes refused to budge.

“That doesn’t give you the excuse to cheat. I’m breaking up with you.”

He rolled his eyes

“Fine. At least now you can fuck Huang to your hearts content, considering the whole school is already betting on it.”

Before you even had time to react, Renjun had shot across the hallway, raising his fist and, with a sickening crunch, broke his nose

“Renjun!” 

You grabbed his arm, pulling him back before he could do anymore damage

“Go to the hospital wing, Jisung.” You instructed

He glared at the two of you before swinging on his heel and leaving

you and Renjun didn’t look at each other for the rest of the night

or the next few weeks after that

Jisung had told everyone what had happened

he kind of had to, the bruising around his eyes gave away the events of the previous night

the whole school were watching you and Renjun intently, now that they knew how he had punched Jisung for you, thinking that this was finally it

you were finally going to get together

but you didn’t interact at all

not even to correct each other in class

the truth was, both of you were deliberating your feelings for each other

Jisung was right

you had told yourself that everything you did was for your career path, but why then did you have such a hyper fixation on Renjun?

you did well in life without your on-going rivalry with the Ravenclaw

was it just petty stubbornness? or was Jisung right in thinking that it was because of some other reason?

You found yourself staring at him in some of your classes

he was good looking, there was no denying that

but did you like him like that?

Renjun had been having the same internal battle 

why did he suddenly find it in himself to punch Jisung in the face?

that was incredibly unlike him

just the way he had spoken about you and to you had made him so angry

the year flew in, and soon it was June and you still hadn’t spoken to each other

It wasn’t until your very last day doing prefect duty that the silence was broken by you

“How’d you think you do on your exams?”

he looked at you, shocked. You hadn’t spoken to him in 5 months.

“Uh- good. I go stuck on familial curses on the Defense paper, but I think I did okay in the end.”

“Oh, I wrote that the spell needs to be tied to the bloodline as opposed to the surname.”

“I thought it was that you had to tie it to the surname, because it doesn’t count as a blood curse?”

“No, because if the caster doesn’t understand familial relationships it doesn’t work, any first year could understand that.”

He went quiet for a moment before mumbling,

“I’m going to cast a goddamn familial curse on you in a moment.”

“Why are we like this?” you asked, stopping your walk to pause for a moment in the middle of the hallway

He stopped too, but he refused to look at you

“You started it...” He grumbled, staring down at his feet.

You rolled your eyes

“Why did you punch Jisung?” You asked blatantly

His head shot up in surprise

“Why did you have Jisung spying on me?” He challenged back, taking a step forward

“Why did you have Jisung spying on me?” you repeated

you both fell silent, and only then you realized how close you had gotten

you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment

“If you’re going to kiss me, kiss me. Don’t pussy out now.” you uttered, your words sharp and cutting

“Oh, shut up.” He replied, rolling his eyes

“Make me.” You challenged

Grabbing your waist, he pulled you to his body, colliding your lips with his violently

you let out a muffled sound of surprise, not expecting him to follow through, but upon feeling the smile which had grown on his face at your shock, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you

you couldn’t let him win, not after the past how many years of sexual tension

your lips competed in mess of sloppy kisses, his hands moving down from your waist to your hips, pushing you against the wall in the hallway as yours moved to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of his hair, using the way he gasped at the feeling to deepen the kiss, sliding your tongue into his mouth

you let out a shameful groan at the feeling of his body pressing against yours and almost whined when he pulled away

your lack of contact didn’t last long, as he attached his mouth to your neck, biting down sinfully

you threw your head back against the cool stone wall which felt deliciously cold against the the heat of Renjun to allow easier access to him as he continued to suck marks into your skin until-

“Renjun?”

You practically threw Renjun off of you, ignoring how erotic the sight of his mussed hair and swollen lips were

in front of you stood the two hufflepuff prefects, Zhong Chenle and a girl who’s name you could never remember, staring at you

the girl seemed shocked, but Chenle simply had raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on his face

you had forgotten him and Renjun were friends

“You do know I’m going to have to give you both detention for making out in the hallway. By your rules.” 

Renjun rolled his eyes

“New rule. We’re the exception.”

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

for @bend-me-shape-me's spn advent calendar 2020. prompt: carols.

dedicated to @one-more-offbeat-anthem!! happy birthday <3

After Chuck's defeated, and Billie's gone, and the Empty has been bargained with (semantics, any of the Winchesters would say if you asked one of the four to elaborate) into returning Cas in exchange for eternal sleep, there's peace.

After they're done, and really done, there's time.

A moment to breathe, a minute to look at the clouds, and hours stretching endless, days on end, resonating with something resembling quiet.

And then, there's a guitar.

*

"Nope." Dean declares. "Never seen that thing in here before. And I once did Christmas inventory by myself, so I should know."

Sam snickers at Dean's cavalier tone. He'd been content to examine the instrument from a distance, unlike his brother, but that didn't mean he wasn't paying attention. "You had to do it yourself, Dean. Those were the exact words of the bet."

"I was drunk, and you hustled me!"

"You've known I play poker my entire life!"

"Well, yeah." Dean flashes his best shit-eating grin. "But you've sucked, your entire life, so —"

"— sure I have —"

"— your entire life has really just been a very long, very lame hustle!" Dean spreads his arms in a display of triumph. "And ergo, you hustled me into Christmas inventory-ing. The case is rested, your honor."

"That's not how you say —"

"Sam. Dean." Cas interjects, loud and exasperated. Sam shuts up immediately, eyes falling to his lap, while Dean exchanges a sheepish look with Cas (and Jack, who to his credit, seemed to be unaffected by the mini-feud. But that's less the part about him being God-Lite and more about him being himself. A kid who grew up watching his dads bicker endlessly and mostly, uneventfully, and has come to terms with it as a primary aspect of (at least, his) family.)

Cas, as usual, puts up with less of their crap. "Is this really necessary right now?"

Dean loves him for it, except when it's targeted at Dean and since that's kind of a lot, he isn't sure he loves it, or just loves Cas and generalises the things he does under the wider bracket of Cas.

"And if it's not," Cas goes on, using what is probably his I-led-garrisons-in-heaven voice, which automatically sends a shiver up Dean's spine. "Can we agree the guitar is, somehow, a recent addition and leave it at that?"

Sam nods slightly, apologetic. Dean just rolls his eyes, but it's a yes. (Everyone there knows it's a yes.)

"It's not cursed." Jack cuts in brightly. "Or out of the ordinary at all."

"So," Dean blinks. "We just happen to have an awesome new guitar show up, completely randomly, in this top secret Bunker no one know about, minus any ulterior motives or death curses?"

Jack grins. "Yes."

"Cool." Dean says immediately, and Sam huffs an amused laugh. He thinks he sees Cas smile as well, and a smirk grows on his face.

"Dibs."

*

Unsurprisingly, nobody counters his dibs, and Dean ends up taking the guitar to his room.

It's after a few days of insecurity, leading right into embarrassment, leading further to ignoring its existence, and further still to a mostly depressive array of memories — before it circles back to insecurity, and is about to repeat all over again, when he stops himself in his proverbial spiral, and decides to just friggin' do it.

That night, he picks up the pick.

Fiddles with it in his hands for a minute, and proceeds to abandon the idea again, because it does not feel right. Different shape, different weight.

And Dean Winchester's already enough of a misfit for this project, for his guitar pick to be a poor goddamn fit in his hand too.

But there's something about being so close that stirs up motivation in his heart, similar to the first day they found the damn thing, and next morning, he's out looking for a music shop in town.

That night, he finally plays.

It's uncertain — experimental — and he soon realizes why nobody ever says a damn thing about guitars when they say you never forget how to ride a bike.

But then, slowly, and really slowly at that, music seems to return to his fingers.

It isn't smooth by any chance, or even really accurate, but there's a faint tug in his brain that leads him to the next chord, and a twitch in his wrist that tells him when to strum, and he's awful, he's really friggin' awful, but even repeatedly saying so in his head refuses to dampen the overwhelming feeling that lights him up from the inside to start to feel like maybe he can play again. There's hope, and there's terrible, off-timed, broken music, and there's Dean in the middle of it, and maybe he can actually do this.

Recollection of how to play had come to his hands as they trembled, and tried, but the exhilaration of it, and the joy, only come back to his heart once he'd stopped, heart racing, adrenaline high, and unexplainable tears pricking his eyes.

Dean Winchester goes to bed that night, giddy in a way he hasn't been in years.

And outside his bedroom, his family of three exchange confused glances when the playing stopped abruptly, and then smiles when a sound that can only be said to bear semblance to a squeal, follows the silence.

(The first song Dean had played in over twenty five years had been Joy to the World.

It had also been the first song he'd ever learned — Cassie's choice, not his. Sam, Cas and Jack didn't know any of that. To them, it had just been a christmas carol. But there was also something so moving about that, soft in a way each of them knew Dean would fight against being, that they didn't realize they hadn't budged from Dean's door, long until faint snores replaced the quiet, and they left for their own beds, wordlessly already having decided on a plan for the next day.)

*

Cas knocks first on Dean's bedroom door, and all music immediately ceases. There's a yell from inside after ten seconds of a shuffling kind of silence.

"Yeah?"

"May I come in?" Cas asks.

Another pause.

Cas wonders worriedly if Sam and Jack were mistaken when they said that Cas had to be first, that he was their best shot at getting Dean to open up — the easiest past Dean's line of defense.

Then Dean says, a little quieter. "Yeah, sure."

Cas enters, gently closing the door behind himself before his eyes land on Dean — and he fights the urge to smile, because Dean hasn't kept away the guitar or anything. It's still on his lap, not in playing stance, with his arms folded over it — but he's not trying to hide it from Cas.

"Is everything okay?" Dean interrupts his reverie. Cas nods.

Neither of them say anything for a minute.

"Can I listen?"

Cas surprises himself with his own courage to ask — no twisted words or excuses to stay, just a simple question. Things were so rarely simple for them, but this wasn't a common occurrence either so it evened out.

"Y-yeah." Dean mutters.

Cas lights up.

"I suck, by the way." Dean adds, almost immediately. "But I'll suck less with time, I'm hoping. I mean, I'm supposed to, you know, but I — uh, I mean — maybe I —"

Cas realizes that he hadn't stopped smiling at Dean and that's what had made Dean falter, and he looks away, embarrassed.

"I'll just play, I guess." Dean manages smally, sounding as embarrassed as him.

"Please."

Dean clears his throat instead of playing.

"Yeah."

Cas can tell he's nervous. Even if he weren't good at, and very used to reading Dean, he could've gauged as much. And he wishes he had the right words, he really does, but he's aware a sincere speech of how much it means that Dean let him stay, and listen, would have the opposite effect of calming.

Then there's another knock on the door, and Cas relaxes.

"Dean?"

Sure enough, it's Jack.

Sam had explained how Dean was most likely, unfortunately, to deflect if he was there — "his denial fires up, Cas. I associate it with a parenting complex of some kind, and he just won't let go of it." — so the order had been decided as Cas, Jack and Sam. No overwhelming by arriving all three at once, or one after the other as if it were planned. No, they'd enter after some time, giving the previous person time to make Dean comfortable to them before the next enters.

Cas thinks it's a rather brilliant plan, and wonders if he should ask Sam to formulate a similar one to get Dean to open up about other things too. He doesn't, ultimately.

"Yeah?" Dean yells back.

"Have you seen Cas?"

That had been the plan.

"Yeah," Dean raises his voice to answer. "He, uh. He's right here. Come on in."

And Jack does, and eyes Cas with probably too much meaning (he means triumph) for Dean to not have noticed, before turning to the latter. "Oh. Were you about to play for Cas?"

Dean colors at that, his ears reddening almost instantly, and Cas files it away for pondering later.

"Can I be here too?"

And Dean's eyes widen a little — sign of anxiety, maybe understanding — and he licks his lips and then he nods. "I guess. I mean, okay, fine. But didn't you need Cas for something?" He adds, confused.

"I," Jack hesitates. Oh no, Cas thinks. Sam's prepared him for this, but Jack looks like he's about to, as Dean would say, wing it. And all-powerful or not, he knows his son is a terrible liar. "No, I just wanted to know if you'd seen him."

Dean narrows his eyes.

"Now I do know. That, uh, you've seen him." Jack braves on, determined to reach the bottom of the proverbial hole he'd dug for himself apparently. "So now, I don't need to know anything. Now I can stay."

Dean sighs.

"I can, right?"

There's a lightness in Dean's voice instead of tension when he says, "Yeah."

"Thank you." Jack says brightly, and all Cas can do is shake his head when Jack turns to him for feedback, and the both of them proceed to wear (nearly matching, but not on purpose) excited stares as they focus on Dean.

*

The final straw is when there's a third knock on the door, and Sam pokes his head in. One unconvincing "Where's everyone at?" later, he's joined Cas and Jack in staring with a unnecessary (and hopefully unintended) comfort-the-vic's-family smile at Dean.

God, he loves these dumbasses and would give his life for everyone present in the room, but none of them can act for shit.

It's glaringly obvious they've all respectively shown up to listen to him play.

Which is bullshit in itself, because Dean wasn't being modest when he told Cas he sucks — he does suck. But then, he doesn't think any of them would mind. Sam would probably unlock new levels of the puppy eyes if he knew how happy even playing awfully, made Dean. Jack would be blunt, of course, but undeterringly sweet. And Cas? He'd probably smile at him all the way through, just — that smile of his, that always seems to make time freeze and Dean's heart stutter.

So Dean decides magnanimously to not call them out.

Right away, anyway.

Instead, he turns to them with a question. "Any requests?"

(He can't play one of the only songs he remembers having learned without errors yet, so obviously asking for requests is the right way to go. But you see, once you've given up on impressing, it's only fair to see yourself to the end of the chaos.)

"Christmas carols." Jack answers before anyone else.

"It's May."

"Sam's," Jack swallows. Dean should really get on teaching the kid how to lie. "Sam's making me listen to carols."

"In May?" He asks his brother this time.

Sam shrugs, struggling to keep a diplomatic face.

"You're going to grow up to be the young adult who doesn't take off the Christmas lights in January." Dean informs Jack, who absorbs his words with all the seriousness Dean should have expected. "And, fine. We can do carols."

Cas speaks up. "Any carol you'd like, Dean."

"Nah," Dean shakes his head. "Jack requested it. We'll do what he says." And he insists to his conscience that he said so because he wants to make Jack happy, and not because he's well aware the kid isn't being subjected to carols by Sam in friggin' May, and probably doesn't know any.

"Oh." Jack's face falls. He looks at Sam in the most conspicuous way anyone's ever looked at anyone. "I —"

"Uhhuh?"

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!" Cas blurts, on behalf of Jack, and there's a two second gap where Sam facepalms and Jack exchanges a conspirational glance with Cas, and then Dean's throwing his head back and laughing.

And soon, Sam's joining in with an exasperated kind of chuckling as if he's gotten stuck in the wrong team but he doesn't regret a thing, and then Cas starts too, mostly from looking at Dean losing his shit (Dean strictly ignores thinking about that part and focuses on imprinting Cas's laugh to memory) and probably also because the ridiculosity of the entire situation probably struck him, and of course Jack's smiling at all of them, and it's, altogether, everything Dean could ever have wished for.

The evening ends with Dean playing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (of course) for at least an hour while consistently getting better at the repeating music, and although it's him humming under his breath (like he always has while playing) that starts it off, soon all of them are offering their own awful renditions to the chaos. Cas is off-key, Sam somehow manages to screw up the lyrics, and Jack is as flat as a friggin' plateau.

And it all comes together in a wholly unmelodious kind of awesome — to Dean the same way they say a mother's love comes through for an ugly child.

After Rudolph, it's Silent Night (another song Dean's learned, it hits him, once he's trying to find the right chord) and even Cas manages to look disappointed at the lyrics Sam and he come up with to make up for not knowing the real ones, and since Jack's never heard this one, he simply listens in rapt attention leaving Dean wondering if he probably ended up learning the wrong version on account of all his concentration.

And last of all, it's We Wish You A Merry Christmas, and Dean plays the chorus enough times that he's perfect at it, because for once, no one messes up the beat or the lyrics, and everyone has the most fun.

All in all, it's an evening to remember.

What Dean learns through it all is primarily the lesson that letting your family think they tricked you into having an audience is sometimes an excellent choice to make, and that things can be crap, but still be enjoyed. That doesn't mean he's not going to practice his ass off learning to play at least the choruses of the Led Zepp tracks he gifted Cas (the idea came to him in bed last night, and Cas has always sounded like he enjoyed them, okay?) so he can play them 'for Cas' as the kid so casually put — but then, some things are different from other things, just the way some love's different too.

And while some things are about efforts, and saying the words that scare you, others are about letting go, and singing carols in bright and sunny May.

The only thing Dean's sure about is that just about all of it comes down to being free.

[theworldofotps]

Silent Stranger (Part 1)

Pairing: Dexter Lumis x Reader Word Count: 2,377 Description: New to NXT, Y/n makes some new friends who warn her to stay away from one of their coworkers. Misunderstood and silent Dexter can’t help but admire the new woman at work.

Part 2

Part 3

Dedicated to the sweet anon who said they would like to read some Dexter fics in the future. And I had been planning to but never had an idea, my sweet friend Rachael gave me this idea which I love. Anon I really hope you like this, and thank you so much @new-zealand-chic for all your help. Xx

Warning: Povs switch between first and third person throughout the fic. They are separated by ~~~ so hopefully you don’t get confused. ____________ Tag list:

@hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @the-beastslayers-queen @thewrestlingwarehouse @new-zealand-chic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666  @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @youcantreignonmyparade @melblacc @undiscovereddisneyroyalty

If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _____________

“Glad you could finally join us Y/n we’ve heard some amazing things from the PC about you, I truly hope you enjoy working here with us at NXT.”

“Thank you so much Hunter I really appreciate it, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

I smile shaking his hand, standing I pull my bag over my shoulder following behind him as he leads the way from his office.

“I’ve already gone ahead and asked Shotzi to show you around just until you learn the ropes and know where everything this. She was thrilled to be the welcome committee, any questions you have just go ahead and ask her.”

“Thank you that takes away some of the nervousness I had.”

Following Hunter, down a few halls, we come to the back area where a few superstars were sat at tables doing their own thing or eating.

“Hey Shotzi come here for a moment please.”

I watch as an energetic woman comes over quickly her green hair standing out brightly, at least I wouldn’t lose or mistake her for someone else.

“What’s up boss?”

“This is Y/n, she’s the new superstar I was talking to you about the other day.”

“Of course the one I’m showing the ropes to, it’s so nice to meet you I hope that you enjoy working with us here.”

“Thank you, it’s nice to met you too I really appreciate you helping me.”

“You’re welcome, it’s no trouble at all I know how hard it can be when you first get here and who better to befriend on your first day than me?”

Shotzi laughs and lets out a little howl then hooks her arm with mine quickly leading me away from Hunter who chuckles waving. Walking around Shotzi points out a bunch of different areas and even introduces me to a few of the other wrestlers sitting or walking around. 

“What do you think so far?”

“It’s great better than I ever dreamed it could be I’m honestly so excited that this is going to be my life.”

Smiling as we sit at a table with some bottles of water and a bag of chips to share I look around watching everyone.

“Is this everyone?”

“No way, there are some in other parts of the building working out and some didn’t come in today. But you’ll see most of them on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.”

“Okay got it.”

I say eating a few of my chips as nervous as I was to be finally here I was more excited and hoped to befriend some of my coworkers.

“Once you’ve finished eating we can head over to one of the practice gyms and do some work to practice for whatever match you end up having first for your debut.”

“Sounds good to me I’m more than ready to get started.”

Shotzi smiles at me patting my back as we make small talk finishing our snack then heading off to find a ring to work out in. ~~~~~~~ Dexter walks quietly down the hallway he had just finished a match and gotten a shower. Since he wasn't needed for anything else tonight he was going home. Adjusting his duffel bag on his shoulder, he gets halfway through the center before feeling a smaller body crash into his from behind. Thinking it was someone doing an unexpected promo he quickly turns around stopping when he sees the new woman that joined NXT a few weeks ago. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to run into you. I'm trying to hide from my friend and wasn’t watching where I was going.”

She says and gives him an apologetic smile, Dexter offers his hand helping the woman up off the floor looking her over to be sure she wasn’t hurt then gives an incline of his head. She was trying to keep her balance as she adjusted her shoe. Hearing someone call her name he turns and leaves continuing on his way to the parking lot. Not noticing the woman left standing behind, staring after him. Getting into his car he starts it pulling out of the lot and driving back home.

That was the first time he had seen her face to face, the last few weeks she was at Full Sail he had taken a genuine interest in her. He had learned a little about her having overheard conversations with their coworkers while he was eating lunch. He honestly was kind of hoping to run into her sooner or later and found himself wanting to befriend the woman. He just wasn't sure how to go about it, maybe it was just best for him to be silent and wait. It was what he did best and he really didn't want to let people know he was curious about her.  

The drive from Full Sail to his house was filled with a little music playing on the radio. Other than that his mind was just wondering, he couldn't help but smile when he moved and the faint scent of your perfume hit his nose. You hadn't even touched him for that long. Parking in the garage once home he goes inside. Dexter was more than ready to sleep; he just needed to brush his teeth and change into pajamas. Stepping into his bedroom Dexter begins stripping crawling into bed once he is changed and settled. He was excited to go back to work to see you. 

~~~~~~~~~ Looking up from my book I smile seeing Finn walk into my room carrying a small vase full of flowers. 

"Y/n delivery." 

"Hey Finn, wow those are beautiful where did they come from?"

"I don't know I was coming to see if you wanted to grab lunch with Shotzi and I. They were sitting on the floor outside your door and there is a card that says. 'Hope you enjoy these flowers, they pale in comparison to you.'"

“Awe that’s so sweet.”

Standing I took the flowers, smelling them then reading the card, it was typed out so I wasn’t able to find out from handwriting who sent them. 

“I wonder why they didn’t sign their name.”

“Well if you ask me I think you have an admirer.”

“Oh come on Finn I haven’t even been here that long how could someone admire me?”

Setting the flowers on my small table I read over the card once more as he sighs dramatically and sits down next to me.”

“Because you’re an awesome person who just seems to draw people in even when you don’t mean to. I know you don’t feel like you’re good at making friends but people just can’t help but want to be around you.”

“If you hadn’t trained me at the PC would you have felt that way when I came here?”

“Probably then again I don’t know, being the champ makes me busy so it’s a probability but I’m sure we would have become friends quickly anyway.”

“Awe that’s sweet of you.”

Pinching his cheek lightly I laugh as he swats my hand away standing back up and stretching. 

“You wanna go get some lunch?”

“Yes I’m hungry.”

Standing I grab my phone pocketing it and following Finn from the room shutting the door behind me, placing my arm through his grinning.

”Lead the way Prinxey.”

~~~~~~~~

Dexter watches from the shadows as Finn picked the flowers up that he had left for y/n, he really hoped that you liked them. Waiting until you left he walked over with a small gift box full of a few things for a self care day. Opening the door a crack he slides the gift in, he didn’t want to invade your privacy by going all the way in. And he was thankful you hadn’t remembered to lock the door before you left. Closing your door gently Dexter quickly leaves just to keep anyone from spotting him. Going back to his room he sits down to start on a drawing he was doing for you.

For the next month Dexter left you small gifts, drawings and notes just something to make you smile. Nobody could tell you who it was doing this all and he couldn’t believe his luck that you hadn’t found out it was him yet. You two still had no communication apart from the night you ran into him. He was good at staying hidden and to be honest he was nervous about how you’d react. It wasn’t any secret that a lot of people thought he was weird and even a bit scary. But the few people he had managed to befriend they all stayed out of each other's intimate relationships. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to go changing that now. ~~~~~~

"I can't for the life of me figure out who's been sending these gifts."

"Have you gotten any new ones lately?" 

Looking across the table at Johnny whose wife I was currently feuding with, I nod my head. Reaching into my bag I pull out the most recent picture. Handing it to him I watch as he looks it over then shows it to the guy beside him. 

"I can almost guarantee you that it's Lumis, he's the only person around here I've seen that draws like this."

Johnny says and hands the picture back with a chuckle.

"Which one is he?" 

I ask as if I didn't already know, I had been paying attention to Lumis since that night I ran into him. There was just something about his presence that made me want to know more about him. 

"He's that really tall guy kind of blonde colored hair, mustache and muscles he wears those leather gloves when he wrestles." 

Johnny says and then points towards the door over my shoulder. 

"That one right there, aye Dexter! Are you the one sending these weird pictures to Y/n?"

"Like you'd actually stand a chance?"

The guy sitting with Johnny laughs loudly, frowning I watch as Dexter stops in his tracks staring at our table. He quickly turned away leaving the catering area.

"Why would you do that?"

"Oh come on y/n don't worry or waste your time on Lumis he's a freak that's why he stays to himself."

Johnny listens to his friend before turning his attention back towards me.

"You'd do your best to stay away from him y/n honestly."

"I think that should be my choice to make and right now I'm going after him. I suggest you two find something else to do then be awful to someone who just doesn't wanna talk to people."

Grabbing my things I quickly leave the catering area looking down the hallways. I had no idea where Dexter had gone or even what room he stayed in. Pulling my phone out I text Finn.

Y/n🎶⭐: Do you know where Dexter's room is?

Hitting send I begin walking around if Finn couldn't help me I may have to find a staff member who could.

Finn😈👑: It's one hall down from mine left turn

Finn😈👑: Why?

Y/n🎶⭐: Cause Johnny thinks he's the one that's been sending me the pictures and gifts and they called him out on it and I think they made him feel bad

Y/n🎶⭐: So I wanna talk to him

Finn😈👑: Dexter doesn't really talk to anyone here except for the few people that he's friends with

Y/n🎶⭐: It's worth a shot

Finn😈👑: Just be careful and if you need anything let me know

Y/n🎶⭐: I know thanks Finn

Pocketing my phone I make my way down the hallways heading for Finn's room. Once past it I go down turning left. I look at the doors, not all the superstars had their own changing rooms but Dexter's was one of the only few back here. Taking a deep breath I knock on the door then step back to wait and see if he opened the door.

"Hi Dexter."

I wave after he opens the door.

"Can I come in please?"

Dexter steps out of the way after a moment of hesitation, stepping inside I walk a little farther in his room and look around. He motions to the couch, smiling at him I sit down fiddling with my fingers in my lap.

"We haven't formally met apart from me running into you, I'm Y/n. I wanted to come and apologize for how Johnny and whatever his friend's name treated you. I didn't think showing him the picture would cause that, I was just hoping he could help me figure who sent it."

Pulling out the picture I place it on the small coffee table between us.

"Did you do this? Are you the one who's been giving me the flowers, little gifts and drawings."

Watching Dexter rub a hand against his neck then nods his head, smiling at his gaze darting around the room I place it back in my bag.

"I want to thank you for everything. It was really sweet of you. You don't have to be embarrassed about it either if you were, I'm actually quite flattered."

I explained looking around the room, he hadn't said anything yet and I wasn't sure what else to really say.

"I know you don't really say much but maybe would you like to exchange numbers? I think we could be really good friends, and it would be easier for you."

Dexter nods and grabs his phone, swapping we put our names in and I hand it back.

"Well I guess that I better go, I have a practice match coming up and I don't wanna miss out. Thank you again."

Standing I walk to the door Dexter holding it open for me, stepping out I turn giving his hand a light squeeze then quickly making my way back towards my room. I felt really good about how it went and I hoped we could be friends. Stopping at my door when my phone goes off I pull it out smiling.

D. Lumis👁️👁️: Would you like to go get coffee or something sometime? Maybe Wednesday morning?

Y/n💮: I would love to😊