#i may have been the scapegoat but at least i got out from under her thumb and dragged my dad and other sibling out with me

[waitfuckitsnotjustptsd]

been coming to some realizations about the ol' teenage years and the effects of social isolation, csa, emotional and physical abuse, and religious brainwashing all whipped up into a nauseating salad while you're going through puberty for the first time

that's where a lot of my relationship and sexual dysfunction come from. being forced to confess every single fucking thing to a parental figure who then threatened to go tell the creepy old bishop about "your little problem." as if me touching my own body was some kind of horrible addiction. she made me dissociate completely from my whole body and suppress every natural urge i had. she told me god would only forgive me a few times and then he'd stop after that because clearly i wasn't really sorry enough for enjoying my body at all

and then she just engaged the rest of the fucking family to make sure i never had any time alone, which was the most horrible overstimulating shit ever for my autistic ass. i wasn't allowed any alone time for any reason. shower? she'd always find a time to sneak up and knock on the door really hard just to make me jump and keep me on edge. actually she did that for fun all the damn time, just like she pulled the hair at the nape of my neck to see me tear up because she found it hilarious. she screamed at me when i finally did it back to her though.

never had a problem holding me down to stick needles in my face, feeling me up under my shirt, touching me everywhere no matter how much i hated it and made that clear, pulling up my shirt and bra in front of the rest of the family. people make fun of the weird kids who bark and growl, but it was the only thing that made her back off.

and there was nobody i could talk to, because "family things stay in the family." i wasn't allowed to go to public school or leave the house at all without a parent until i was 17 just so she could control my entire world. i had exactly one crush for about a week until she found out and started tearing me down for it. i couldn't have any friends she didn't personally approve, and she also had to personally approve their parents. i wasn't allowed sleepovers. one time i came back from a church activity wearing blue eyeshadow one of the youth group leaders had put on me because i liked it, and she told me i looked "like a prostitute" and freaked the fuck out. the Sunday after that, she copied her own makeup onto me to show me off as essentially a tiny version of her to all the adults at church.

she was honestly just a possessive jealous creepy gross incestuous pedophile, and i wanted to die. the only way for me to escape was burying myself in a book and getting my consciousness outside of myself completely. even that wasn't enough after a while.

she realized one day that i was getting bigger than her, and she decided to start having weird wrestling matches with me on the living room floor. i'd been carefully supervised through tae kwon do classes but i was too scared to hit her. she always ended up tickling me and sitting on me in ways that weren't right for anyone to do to a kid to win. i just wanted to let loose, crack her jaw, throw her out the window, but i knew if i did that the consequences would be severe.

if i ever see her again i'm showing her what a left hook feels like. she loved to complain about how i was born evil and just the most badly-behaved kid of all time, but sometimes i wish i'd really unleashed everything and shown her what an unholy terror really is.

nowadays touch is still a minefield for me, even just a tap on the shoulder can send me into furious shaking. i don't know how to have sex without ignoring what i feel and just trying to make someone else feel good. i can't cuddle anyone but my girlfriend, and even that kinda freaks me out sometimes.

the moral of the story is, don't fucking have kids if you're going to abuse them. don't even get a pet. collect rocks or something, find a hobby, tie a boulder around your neck and chuck it off a cliff into the ocean like that jesus guy said, but don't have kids if you're going to abuse them. oh and burn your bible/book of mormon/christian scriptures of choice, that's not a childrearing manual.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

Must know your Furina thoughts cause I’m forever a Furina defender. I see her as different from Focalor and like… I get why Focalor did what she did but god I’m so… I don’t like her

I have more thoughts but I’d like to know yours and then I’ll explode

Heyy hiya hi hey! Sorry for getting back to this a bit late, I have been in a hole. You know how shrimps are

But the short answer is, regretfully, MHY's writing made me really viscerally dislike her, at first. There was definitely resistance in my heart and that was frustrating in itself, because I do not hate Her exactly and I see why a lot of people liked her a lot (my friends liked her too. I was pretty solitary in my extreme disdain of her). I just hated the story that MHY is trying to tell with her, I hated what she represents (to me, at least), and I hate that I'm seeing people being a lot more forgiving with her (compared to Ei) because she's shown to be more emotionally vulnerable, which makes her more relatable (this isn't so much as like, a 'her fans are bad!' take from me, just to clarify. More so, it is an observation about how MHY is able to very easily use their storytelling to sway the audience and keep their attention on certain narratives, and I don't like the effect of their writing decisions).

Disclaimer, though, I hate, hate Marie Antoinette and that "sad, helpless, rich (white) woman" archetype, so when Furina/Focalors clearly has some inspiration (and when I see the audience immediately make some of that connection), it was immediately rigged against her in my head, lol. She had no chance.

In retrospect, though, the Marie Antoinette reference isn't that strong, but I don't know if that's because MHY really chickened out of the French Revolution inspiration, or because they just vaguely wanted the vibes of it without ever intending on committing to it, and I end up looking silly because I'm making connections where there are none. MHY writing is notorious for making people do that because it expects you to extrapolate from minimal and vague writing at times.

Anyway, then I started writing her. I wrote her into the family dynamic of the WRLT family, streamer modern/future AU thing I've got going on, and even for my canon rewrite/reinterpretation/filled-in-the-shit-I-didn't-like-and-made-it-work-for-me fic where she shows up very briefly at times, I couldn't exactly make her completely villainous either. That role I reserve solely for Focalors (who, arguably, isn't portrayed as a villain in canon, either. I just hated her more, and she's specifically written as a scapegoat for Furina Criticisms by MHY, anyway, so she's literally used, narratively, as an excuse for Furina's action as the ruler of Fontaine, so. It's functionally the same shit as Ei being like "erm that was the robot, not me..." just much, much better executed).

And she's really grown on me! Like, if I'm not so hung up on her whole "I may be the ruler of a police state, but I have feelings, too" thing, I think her personal story of having to perform a role, and having to meet an expectation that just gets further and further out of reach, and how she was shown to quite literally fall apart under that pressure was (through gritted teeth) well done. I Guess. I liked the way they unravelled her on a literal stage at the end of the MSQ. If anything, I will give it to MHY for their understanding of effective visual storytelling.

In her defence, Neuvillette also had the whole "I may be the ruler of a police state, but I have feelings, too" thing going for him. In many ways, you can argue that he's Worse because he's the actual, functional facet of Fontaine's Justice System, while she was treated more as the theatrical side. But, I will Say, MHY tried to sneak it in there that she also does work behind the scenes to help vulnerable people, and they also tried to say that she takes her job very seriously behind the scenes as well. She just acts like she's all fun. But, once again, because of their writing, I think it's horribly executed. Because aside from those Few Specific Moments where they showed her doing these things, no actual impact of her leadership was ever shown within Fontaine aside from the way she represents the Theatre-Court thing, BUT EVEN THAT MEANS NOTHING ANYWAY.

(So once again, in the same way as my Neuvillette ramble, you have MHY being like "is she actually helpless? Is she not? Can she actually make changes, can she not???" and they end up playing Accountability Hot Potato between her and Neuvillette where they're like, No, Actually. You're the one In Power! No You! No You! I'm a clueless Sovereign, I don't know humans, you're the Archon! But you are the one people actually take seriously as the Iudex, you're the one with actual political influence, and I'm not the real Archon anyway! Then Focalors is like, Wah, Celestia! That's the actual party you should blame! I'm actually the martyr here! Feel bad for me! And if Celestia pops up with playable characters you know they're gonna be like erm, actually, we also have clones who's been acting as us who's the actual evil ones, but it's not us I prommie.)

Like how the fuck have they not figured out about the Primordial Waters shit, like, a hundred years ago. You're telling me they are so damn good at their jobs, but it took them this long? To realise??? The Primordial Waters can be a big ass problem in the future that they should have prepared for in the past? It's almost like a nod to how IRL governments will ignore global warming and line their pockets allowing big corpo to continue wrecking the environment at the cost of the common people— oh wait, MHY vaguely suggested that too in the world lore about pollution caused by Fontaine's rapidly growing technological landscape, but they didn't do anything with it, because the Government that would get narratively criticised in Fontaine is Entirely Made Up of the Two Characters Products they're trying to Sell?

Oh, you're telling me the way Oratrice Mechanique D'Analyse is feeding off the people's belief in Justice while it literally hoards all the energy of the nation in order to fulfil Focalor's plan can almost be seen as commentary on how Media like True Crime commodifies Justice while platforms like TikTok literally profit off your engagement— oh wait it falls apart the moment you try to say that Focalors did this out of necessity in order to give Neuvillette back his sovereignty because those vaguely evil, undefined Ceslestia people?

And I'm sure someone could pop up and say like That's The Point! They're trying to show that someone is always above someone else, pulling the strings, and that Everyone has to do a little evil sometimes! As if that's not the easiest excuse for MHY to wave off writing accountability into their character stories.

But you know what poisons all of their writing to me? Knowing that they make products first, stories after. Every writing decisions they make, I am sitting there like, "This is designed for an audience, this is specifically made this way to sell to the most people possible." I can't look at Furina and think "they're trying to make a sympathetic and relatable character" because I Know there is a board of Rich Guys somewhere who sits there and say "but she has to be redeemable, she has to be relatable, and she has to be just a little bit of everything to be palatable to the widest swath of people."

Like, all the "flaws" of Genshin's writing are barely "flaws" at this point, in terms of intention. There's no one sitting there being like "this is what we wanted to achieve, but we went about it wrong", it's more like "this is good enough to make us money. Some people might complain or look into it deeper, but most are still gonna buy and keep using our product." And they're right. Fuck, I might come back for Natlan just to see what the fuck they'd do. And I hate it lol

[karasbroken]

Sixth story, I'm going to run out soon! The first bit of this could be a little mini-fic of its own. But I decided to write a whole long exposition on attraction, loneliness, and vulnerability, on top of that.

The basic plot is Aeryn and John are on edge for their own reasons, have a stupid fight, and stop working out together. Aeryn hurts herself trying to fix something and they end up spending a bunch of time together as John takes care of her, which brings them closer again. Lots of Aeryn thinking about John being hot stuff happens along the way.

Rating: T    |   Word Count: 12,481   |    Tags: Post-"PK Tech Girl", Angst, Bickering, Hurt/Comfort, Masturbation, One-Sided Attraction, Pre-Relationship, Unresolved Sexual Tension

“Are you distressed, John Crichton?” Aeryn Sun heard Zhaan’s voice right before she entered the central chamber. Sun had expected the room to be empty at this arn. She was uninterested in making conversation, particularly with an unhappy John. But while she should have left, curiosity drove Aeryn to slip into the shadow of ridge near the door instead, and listen.

“Oh you know, Zhaan, just another pity session as I contemplate the cosmic joke that is my life.”

“You haven't seemed yourself lately, John. But I do not see the humor in it.”

“Me either.” Neither spoke for a few microts. “I just can't stop thinking about Gilina.”

Aeryn hadn't expected to hear the name. It had been more than ten solar days since they left the Zelbinion behind. But as soon as he said it, the nausea that was becoming familiar stirred to life.

“The Peacekeeper tech? Why does she still trouble you?” Zhaan had barely met the woman, having been aboard Moya through the entire encounter. The priest hadn't really seen them together.

“Lots of reasons, starting with wondering whether I got her killed.”

Aeryn thought it was even odds. The tech was intelligent; rewiring a hundred-cycle-old defense screen in under five arns with mismatched, equally ancient cables would have been impressive for a team of techs. And Renaez had that shy, self-effacing demeanor that many low ranking techs learned to adopt. It was protection from the misplaced anger or unreasonable expectations of disgruntled pilots and impatient commanders.

But Crais was always mercurial. Lies and false innocence wouldn't save the tech if the loss of the Marauder required a scapegoat. And if Gilina let slip what truly happened on the Zelbinion, death would be a mercy.

Zhaan was more reassuring than Aeryn would have been. “If we had not found the Zelbinion ourselves, Gilina may very well have died when the Sheyang returned. Whatever her fate afterward, it should not lie on your conscience.”

“Maybe not, but… I keep thinking I should have asked her to come with us.”

“That would not have pleased Rigel or D’Argo.”

“Well, we owed it to her. What about you, Zhaan? Would you have let me bring her on Moya?”

“If you wished it, John. But that doesn't mean I would have approved of the idea. You do not know the Peacekeepers as we do. What they are, how they think. She would have found it very difficult to leave that life behind.”

“She couldn't be worse at it than Aeryn. At least Gilina wouldn't be impossible to live with, or trying to kill everyone we meet.”

Sun felt the impact of his words like a slap...

[keyboardthenerd]

DMC OC Week 2022: Day 3 - Past & Future Part 1

I actually refuse to get better at writing these opening paragraphs. Y'all are just gonna have to seethe and mald about that.

Did you know that if I leave my window open in the summer, the cat will climb onto the roof and bring moths into my room?

Did you also know that I hate flying insects? Anything that can manoeuvre in a 3D space better than I can is an immediate threat.

This... is not relevant. Stay mad.

Roman Eques Laurel: King of Doubling Down

Reference Sheet by andy.rea (instagram)

Past

Operatio Redemptionis. A demon-lead project to produce hybrid nestlings capable of “paying for the sins of their parents''; Demons and their descendants hunted down for the sole purpose of sending a human woman in to attempt to produce some sort of child, who could then be raised, brainwashed, and used against their parents one day, if they are successful.

Edora Laurel. Not much is entirely known about the human woman used for this project. Perhaps she was just not an interesting human before the project. For all intents and purposes, it may have been better this way. Edora was given a warm home, large enough to care for all of her children. Seated inside an old cross-dimensional phenomenon, often referred to as a “Hell Tunnel” or “Hell Bridge”; an area of nomansland that’s neither The World of Darkness or the World of Light, but acts as a very hard to close doorway between the two. An artificial demon called Uri was “gifted” to Edora to act as an eyes and ears for the demons running the project. Uri and everyone else involved with the project would use the Hell Tunnel to pass in and out of Hell. Anything Edora could possibly need was taken care of to the minimum effort, all Edora had to do was produce and raise at least one successfully manipulatable hybrid nestling.

Roman is the 2nd oldest biological child of the human Edora. This quickly turned into being one of eight hybrid children. Being born and raised on the line between The Mortal Plane and Hell makes for a complicated upbringing. Used as the scapegoat for most of the siblings' mistakes, as Roman was the most outspoken about their mistreatment under Edora and Uri. Often pitted against their other siblings in an attempt to curb their temper, they spent most of their upbringing isolated from their siblings, but not the rest of the world.

At around eighteen years old, one of their half-siblings had since been considered “successful”, and been taken into hell to theoretically continue their brainwashing. Since then Edora had disappeared, but Uri hadn’t. And unfortunately for Uri, she had perfectly crafted an entity willing to kill her. With a rock-paper-scissors match to decide which sibling got the short end of the stick, Roman was left behind to deal with Uri while Sadie and Tobias made an early getaway. And after disposing of Uri, “repairing” the Veil Piercer, and creating the Afterthought, Roman left the manor too. Unbeknownst to them, while Sadie and Tobias turned left, running into the city further into mainland, Roman ran right, heading for some dingy little city called Redgrave, and eventually even further, to some strange island called Fortuna.

Future

Roman has a long future ahead of them, while there are many timelines in which I can imagine an angst filled death, their canonical timeline leaves them living a long and healthy life… eventually… 

At the end of it all, all the Spardas are able to live happily and healthily together. Roman does not work directly with Devil May Cry, but pitches in to help whenever anyone asks them to. They much prefer spending their time cataloguing the different underground Demon Groups around the region. The largest cache of information is, of course, on the Order Of The Sword, which is still their biggest special interest.

Part #2 covering AUs will be out and linked shortly. Roman is part of many AUs, so it was very hard to pick just one. But I think I've got something that y'all will like.

[mercuryonparklane]

I seriously debated keeping this one in the drafts...

Okay, I felt compelled to analyze the timeline of all of Taylor’s rumored/alleged boyfriends (barring any that she supposedly dated pre-fame) and why I believe they could have been fake/pr setups...

Disclaimer: this is all speculative and is just my opinion. No one has to agree... we don’t all have to agree because really the only people who know the truth are Taylor and those she has shared it with. I do have a very skeptical view of the entertainment industry and pr, so that is a bias I will own up to. I especially think Taylor, for a very long time, was willing to play along with the pr side of things, but eventually reached a breaking point (as any normal human under that amount of pressure and scrutiny likely would). Whether that means she has faked all of her public relationships or some of them or just aspects of them... I can’t really, truly know that. So, just keep in mind that this is one little, insignificant person’s view of Taylor’s public relationships and that I do not personally know any of the people involved...

Don’t take this too seriously, peeps... I’ll even tag it as crack theory...

Joe J.: June/July-September/October 2008

If nothing else this feels like a typical pr setup of two young stars. He had Camp Rock, a Jonas Bros’ album and a tour and concert film to promote. Camp Rock came out on 6/20/2008. The Jonas Bros’ third album, A Little Bit Longer, was released on 8/12/2008. In August, Taylor joined the band on stage during the filming for a concert movie that would be released in February 2009. 

Taylor had an album that was released just weeks after their alleged breakup. An album which contained a few songs that would be attributed to Joe J. due to the publicity surrounding their relationship. Hmm... what a great way to drum up interest in an album that includes quite a few heartbreak songs. Not saying I know that is the case, but they both had a lot to promote between June and November 2008.

Lucas T.: March-April/May 2009

He was in the Hannah Montana movie, which was released 4/10/2009. Taylor had a cameo in that movie and also wrote a song for the soundtrack. Lucas also played Taylor’s love interest in the mv for YBWM, which premiered 5/2/2009 on CMT. He was in one of her Myspace vlogs in April 2009. IMO, this was a setup to promote the Hannah Montana movie and the YBWM mv, but it didn’t really take off. Lucas later said they dated briefly, but he realized that he just saw her as a friend...

Taylor L.: August-December 2009

 They played a couple in Valentine’s Day. In September, just days after the VMAs where KW interrupted Taylor on stage as Taylor L. stood a few feet away, Taylor went to an Owl City concert at the Bowery Ballroom where she met the man who would supposedly inspire “Enchanted”. Umm... “please don’t be in love with someone else”... even though I am currently dating Taylor L. and he is my forever crush, but like, I am totally crushing on you actually. I have no clue if any Swifties have ever picked up on that discrepancy.  

Oh, and Taylor L. also “dated” Selena in early 2009 and I doubt Taylor would go there, even if they ended on good terms. I mean, it’s possible, but idk it seems unlikely to me. 

John M.: December 2009-February 2010

I think Taylor admired him as a musician (this seems to have been mutual with John praising her talent multiple times) and she may have seen him as a mentor at first. I do not believe that anything happened between them beyond that. I think he was so thrown off by “Dear John” because of that. He was already tweeting in the spring of 2009, hinting at wanting to collaborate with Taylor. The album their duet was on came out in November 2009, right before they started “dating”. Although it wasn’t released as a single until June 2010.

Besides, Liz (friend or otherwise) has remained a fan of John and even went to his concert a few years back. So, either she didn’t care that he screwed one of her supposed good friends over or it didn’t go down how people were led to believe it did.

Jake G.: October 2010-December/January 2011

Unless this relationship started much earlier than everyone has been led to believe, it is very unlikely that ATW is about him. It certainly seems to have been written prior to the maple latte/scarf/sister’s house articles that were abundant after that pap walk. Either Taylor used him as a scapegoat for a song that wasn’t about him or he was a willing participant in a pr scheme to make sure people thought the song was about him. 

He couldn’t have been setup with his costar, Anne H., because she was already in a long term, committed relationship. At the time Taylor was still good pr since she was still known as a kind of girl next door, all American type with genuine talent. 

I’m not saying I know for a fact it was fake. I’m saying there are plenty of reasons why I think it was. Everyone has different perspectives... mine is that this was purely a pr setup.

Will A.: sometime in 2010 and/or mid or fall 2011-January 2012 or May (?) 2012

They were likely just friends, but people did think they were dating back then. The songs that people think he wrote about Taylor (”White Dress” and “Kiss Me Slowly”) were recorded in 2010. So, if she started dating him in September 2011, which people think because the dress she wore to his May 2012 birthday party was the one she is wearing on the “Begin Again” cover art, then those songs aren’t about her. About the party dress...  Sarah B., who took the picture, was also friends with the Parchute guys, so maybe the photoshoot that the picture on that cover art came from happened earlier that day. 

He was friends with Liz’s ex Jason and one of his best friends is still to this day very close friends with Liz, so that’s probably how he met Taylor. I think Taylor hung out with that crew a bit back then. AND those times Will and Taylor were seen hanging out in late fall/early winter 2011, Jason and/or the other friend were there. Yes, I am saying that Taylor was hanging out with Jason in November/December 2011, just a few months after he and Liz supposedly broke up. She was also still hanging out with Liz a lot at that time and after, though, so I think it was all good.

Conor K.: July 2012-September/October 2012

This was Taylor’s worst pr. If it was a real relationship... it is borderline predatory. If it is fake... still a big yikes... I don’t have much to say about this one. I think it was fake and an attempt at making him the muse for “Starlight” (how cute, this song she wrote about his grandparents sort of became about them), “Begin Again” (nevermind that the copyright record say the song was written in 2011), and EHC (nevermind that the song was written in May 2012). It would have been great pr, though, if he was a couple years older. Taylor should have fired Paula after this one... (because the public should have never known about it, real or fake).

Harry S.: November 2012-January 2013

Similar to all the others before (and after), there were “random” sightings, including a birthday trip to “the lakes” and blatant pr (go on and wear that fox sweater and paper airplane necklace, Taylor...). That NYE kiss, though...

Calvin: February 2015-May/June 2016

Taylor finally dropped her old publicist and brought on Tree. First step, was to erase the “boy crazy”/“man eater” label (and possibly the “professional beard” label) and become an independent woman who just wants to have fun with her gal pals. It got a bit gayer than expected (whether Kaylor was really a thing to some degree or not is irrelevant to the point). The gay rumors were actually catching on even faster and people were like “oh, that’s why she couldn’t keep a man” (sexist/homophobic as all of this is/was, ofc). 

Enter Calvin... a playboy DJ who some might deem “tall and handsome as hell” (peeps, I am not really the best judge of a man’s attractiveness, so this is just how I think people see him). He seems sooo straight. I don’t know how else to say it. All of her other supposed boyfriends had gay rumors, whether or not those rumors were just people gossiping or had some basis in reality... I think he is the only one that doesn’t have them, that I know of anyway. 

I know a lot of people think they were really together, but I think this was an attempt to have her in a more serious, long term relationship to counteract both the gay rumors (not necessarily as a cover for a woman because I don’t think all of the guys have been or need to have been covers for a secret relationship with a woman, it’s about appearing straight) and the “can’t keep a man” narrative that had followed her around. Even if they were in some sort of situationship (not what I think, just theorizing here), it wouldn’t have been a steady thing and they seemed to not like each other very much when all was said and done.

I still laugh that he said Taylor was the opposite of his type (and specified that he likes brunettes) in November 2014 and then he allegedly dated her for almost a year and a half, starting literally a few months after he made that comment. If that was a real relationship, he was either playing it cool when he said that or he misjudged her or Taylor was determined to date him because it was a challenge.

Either way, it seems like her team controlled the public narrative and maybe Calvin was okay with that at first, but over time it seemed like he wasn’t a big fan of that. Maybe that visit to the strip mall massage parlor was a bit of a rebellion... 

At least they both got some royalties out of it...

Joe A.: September 2016-Present

Taylor’s team absolutely has control of the public narrative and he seems okay with that. He is a literal mirrorball. He is whatever Taylor supposedly says he is in her songs/whatever Swifties want him to be.

He likes to drop fun facts like how his family jumps into a freezing pond at Christmas or that he worked at a yogurt shop as a teenager. Whether they are real or not... he seems to be playing into the pr. Dropping little bits of information that will tie him to her songs... it is very “maple latte”/“paper airplane necklace”/dark jeans and Nikes... OR Taylor is just taking the few facts people know about him and using it to pin songs on him.

If he is a beard (which imo he likely is), I think he gets along with Taylor and doesn’t mind the minimal pr of it all.

I don’t think he is WB, either way...

Again this is just my view of things. This has no bearing on which women Taylor may have dated. I could do a separate post on what I think that timeline might look like.

One point I will reiterate is that I do not think that a beard would always be a cover for a secret relationship with a woman. I think it sometimes is, but it can be more of a general cover for someone who is gay. So many people think Taylor is the straightest person who has ever lived simply because of her public dating record. I mean, heteronormativity and homophobia also play a big part in that...

Edit: I completely skipped Tom lol. I just don’t buy that one either. Maybe he thought it would be good publicity or maybe he was led on to think it was more real than it was or maybe he was just having fun. Idk. All kinds of articles written about them at the time included some caveat about how they seemed fake or were maybe filming something...

[cry-stars]

May I suggest an AU where Don Paolo finds the Golden Apple first and adopts Flora instead of Layton? :)

Absolutely!! Thank you so much for asking! This turned out to be... pretty long, actually, almost 2000 words :'D I'm going to post it here under a cut, but I also put it in Puzzles Left Unsolved if you'd rather read it on Ao3. Thank you again for the request; it was a great chance for me to write for Don Paolo for the first time!

...

“Welcome to the Future.”

Dr. Allen smiles broadly, throwing open the clock shop’s door with careless abandon. Flora can’t hold back a gasp at the sight before her. Yes, the scenery in front of her is Midland Road, but it’s unmistakably changed: worn down, and dirty with ten years’ worth of grime. The bus stop is gone, and tall poles mounted with loudspeakers tower above the ground.

Could they really have travelled through time? It seems impossible, but then again, the evidence seems too solid to brush aside. Flora’s still reeling from the trip through the “time machine.” Between the rocky ride down here, and the changed London that she sees before her now, she’s almost convinced that she truly is in the future.

Hesitantly, she looks toward Paul, hoping that she can take a cue from his reaction to what Dr. Allen referred to as “The Future.” Her mentor looks almost as dumbfounded as she does. Then, he seems to notice her gaze. He clears his throat, calming his expression, and turns toward Dr. Allen. “For ‘Future London,” it’s not all that futuristic, is it? Where are the jetpacks and the robots?” he asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m so sorry that the future isn’t completely what you’d hoped it would be.” Dr. Allen shrugs nonchalantly. “Now. If you’re done gawking, then we can begin discussing business. Follow me.”

As they follow Dr. Allen through the streets, Flora casts a questioning glance up towards Paul. “What do you think about this?” she whispers.

“Feh. It’s all a trick. Although I’ll admit it’s a good one.” Paul waves his hands dismissively, then brings his arm to his mouth, stifling a theatrical cough. “As bad as the air quality is in ‘present’ London, it’s nowhere near this horrendous. Coupled with the yellow sky, either the Apocalypse happened within the last ten years, or we’re underground.”

Flora’s half-disappointed, but half-not. An underground city, particularly one that so closely mirrors an existing city, is almost as fascinating as a future one—and, as Paul had said before, now that she thinks of it, she’s a little disappointed at the lack of futuristic technology. “So there’s still a chance for the jetpacks, then,” she says thoughtfully.

Paul chuckles. “If you get started on inventing them tomorrow, then there’s a slim chance that they’ll be around in ten years.”

“You could invent them too, you know,” Flora says mildly.

“Let’s stay focused on the present, my friends,” Dr. Allen says lightly. “Right this way.” Turning the corner, they enter a large tunnel, and Flora stares up in awe at the sloped roof above them, the beautiful stone-tiled road, and the pretty shops lining the walls.

“A pretty little arcade, isn’t it?” Dr. Allen says proudly, leading them toward a restaurant built into the wall of the arcade. “It’s a pity that it has no counterpart in the present. I hope this restaurant is to your liking. My partner is very fond of the place, although I don’t entirely trust his judgement.”

“You’re paying, right?” snorts Paul as the group steps through the door.

Dr. Allen raises an eyebrow. “Of course; you’re my guests. Paul, you wound me.”

“My name is Don Paolo, Allen.”

It’s strange to hear Paul reacting adversely to being called… well, Paul; Flora’s grown so used to calling him that over the last several months. Yes, he wanted to be called “Don Paolo” at first, but after the first ten times she’d called him so, he’d grunted that it was “too formal, and that she should call him “Paul” instead. Flora’s secretly glad of that; the name had always struck her as funny, but she’d hate to offend him by giggling by mistake.

Dr. Allen shrugs, and the three of them take a seat at the table, the cook coming to take their order. “Just coffee for me,” he says nonchalantly, “but give these two whatever they like. I’ll be paying.”

Paul gets a coffee as well—a smart move, Flora thinks; he wants to seem like an equal match to Dr. Allen. Flora would do the same, but upon further consideration, she just gets water; she’s not sure that she could handle anything more right now, with the amount of butterflies in her stomach. Her nerves are frayed, and being seated here, in the Future, in front of the man that summoned them here, is only exacerbating her anxiety.

“I supposed I was careless, Paul,” Dr. Allen finally says, as the coffee arrives at the table. Once again, he raises an eyebrow, glancing in Flora’s direction. “I never thought to tell you to come alone, simply because I never thought there’d be anyone who wanted to come with you.”

Flora blinks. What a rude thing to say! But now that she thinks about it, Paul really doesn’t seem to have any friends, except for her. He doesn’t often leave their flat, except when they both go to the lab to work on their engineering projects. Occasionally he’ll go off on his own, but he never talks about seeing anybody else.

Of course, there is his archnemesis, Hershel Layton, but they certainly aren’t friends, not with how Layton hurt Paul in the past! Paul never talks about what that man did, but Flora doesn’t want to force him to tell her, as curious as she is. Whatever it might be, it must’ve been traumatic, and she wouldn’t want to make him remember anything painful. But other than Layton, Flora can’t think about anybody else that Paul even knows.

Well, there is that framed picture of that pretty lady with glasses on his work desk, but Flora doesn’t even know her name, let alone if she and Paul are friends.

“If you want to know who she is, you can just ask,” Paul scowls.

“I’m his apprentice,” Flora chimes in eagerly. “I’m studying engineering, and disguises, and robotics, and… and lots of things.”

“Well, isn’t that interesting?” Dr. Allen chuckles. “I never thought you had it in you, Paul. I knew you were good with disguises, but masquerading as a mentor is a new one for you.”

“As far as you know.” Paul shrugs. “It’s not as if we were ever best friends or anything. There’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me.”

“True, true.” Dr. Allen leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. “But at least there was one thing that we had in common. And that’s what I’d like to talk about today.”

A shadow crosses Paul’s face. Is that… sadness in his eyes? “I’m not really in the mood to reminisce, Dimitri.”

“Maybe not. But perhaps you’re in the mood to help me make those precious memories reality once again?” There’s a feverish light in Dimitri’s eyes, despite his serene expression. “What if I told you that my time machine—”

A time machine?

Flora’s mind starts racing. A real time machine? Could it really exist? How does it work? What—

“That’s what killed her, Allen.” Paul’s harsh voice cuts through Flora’s daydream. “You’re delusional if you think that it’ll actually work, or that I’ll waste my time helping you.”

“I don’t think I’m delusional,” Dimitri says calmly, but Flora can see pain in his face. “But even if I am, at least I’ve got a plan. What are you going to do if you don’t help me? Continue living in your delusion of thinking Layton cares one iota about being your ‘archnemesis?’” He stands slowly. “I’m giving you a chance to help bring her back. It’s up to you if you’ll take it. I’ll give you five minutes to think it over.”

Before either of them can say anything, Dimitri exits the room.

Flora avoids looking at Paul, staring into her water glass. She feels like it isn’t her place to say anything, as curious as she is; she should wait for—

“I suppose you want to know what in the world is going on.” Paul grunts, crossing his arms, and stares into one of the paintings adorning the wall.

“If you want to tell me,” Flora says hesitantly. “I mean, it’s not really my business, is it?”

“Well, you are my apprentice, so it’s at least partly your business. Especially since you’ll be helping me make my final decision.” Paul sighs. “You’ve seen that picture on my desk, right?”

Flora blinks. “That pretty lady?”

A small smile colours Paul’s face. “Yes. She was… well, she was a friend. Well, she… she died almost ten years ago.”

Flora bites her lip. So that’s why he takes such good care of that picture. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, not knowing what else to say.

Paul shrugs. “It was a long time ago,” he says dismissively, but Flora can hear the sadness behind the words. “She worked with him,” he says, gesturing dismissively toward the door, “building a time machine, and she died because it malfunctioned, exploding and killing her and nine other people. I… Well, I blamed him for a while, even though it wasn’t only his fault. I felt like, since he was lucky enough to work with her, he should’ve been there to save her. My only satisfaction was that he blamed himself too.” He chuckles wryly. “You probably think I’m awful now, don’t you?”

“N-no, not at all!” Flora hurries to assure him. “I… I understand why you reacted that way.” It’s all too easy to search for a scapegoat when there’s nobody else to blame. She remembers how much she hated and feared Dahlia for replacing Mama, when Dahlia really did nothing wrong… but it’s too late to mend that. She pushes the thought to the back of her mind. “But there’s a chance to bring her back, then isn’t there? If he’s got the time machine working, now.”

Paul snorts. “No way that he’ll ever actually get it to work. Not after it failed so spectacularly last time.”

Flora shouldn’t feel so disappointed at his words, but she does. She wants to find out more about this time machine. Before today, she’d hardly even thought of the concept, but now that she knows it’s something that could plausibly exist, she wants to find out more. But Paul so easily dismissed the idea. Maybe he’s right about that; after all, it did fail ten years ago. But that doesn’t mean it will fail today.

(What if she could bring her parents back?)

(What if she can bring Paul’s friend back to life?)

“Shouldn’t we give him a chance?” she asks tentatively. “Maybe he can tell us exactly how he plans to do it, and then we can make a more informed decision.”

“The only thing he’ll inform us with is more of his delusions.” But Paul looks at her curiously. “You’re really excited by this time machine thing, aren’t you?”

Is it really that obvious? Flora flushes, staring into her drinking glass once again. “Maybe a little bit. I just… I just think that if there’s a chance that it works, then we should consider all our options.”

She waits in silence for Paul’s reply. Finally, he sighs, chuckling. “Why is it always so hard to say no to you?” He stands, heading towards the door to let Dimitri back in. “Fine, fine. We’ll listen to him ramble for a few more minutes, and find out what he wants from us, and then we can decide what we’ll do.”

Flora smiles after him. “Thanks for listening to reason, Paul,” she says jokingly.

Paul grins back at her. “Don’t mention it.”

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

WKM Role Swap: The Séance

Prologue, Previous Chapter

-

The roles have changed, but the séance still has to go on.

Mind you... Is this the first time we've ever witnessed Celine and William have a private conversation?

-

"What do you think you’re playing at?” Celine's presence blazed before him like an inferno the moment the door was closed. “Do you think this will help you gain my favour after everything that happened?” William lifted his hat and brushed out his hair with a hollow laugh.

“You’re still the same as always, Celine. Not everything revolves around you, did you know that? Sure, I missed you as much as everyone else, but this isn’t about you. It’s not about whatever we shared long ago. There’s a likely case of homeo sapio zombifus or some 'ghost' that we need to sort out. I’m the only one with a reputable sharpshooting reputation, and also the ability to not believe whatever horseshit you want to feed everyone with -”

“William!”

“- which is why I’m the only one who can help you here. How can any of those ghosts possess someone who doesn’t believe in this? If you want to work on a plan, you need a man with years of military experience on your side.” William pulled the empty chair out, only to stop as he spotted Celine’s bag laying there. She was empty-handed when she arrived, yet here it was. It was passed to her so he could sit down. He slumped into the chair, arms loosely crossed and legs spread as Celine began setting the table. There was no ignoring the anger simmering under the surface as she lit the white candles.

“You haven’t changed at all. Mark was killed, and here you are acting like you two had another petty spat.”

“Huh, funny that. You ultimately took my side in that ‘petty spat’, didn’t you?” The empty bag was flung at William, who was quick to catch it and drop it on the ground beside his hat. “But if you really must know, I came to this party to try and make amends with Mark and try and find some sort of peace with that madman. Just because I’m used to being surrounded by death does not make me immature and dismissive to what happened. So why don’t we act like adults and get to the bottom of this?” Celine’s temper rose, only to slowly fade with a deep breath.

“You’re right. There are more important matters to deal with right now.” Calmer now, she cleansed and shuffled the tarot deck. “I just can't shake the feeling that Mark's death is the start of something much bigger. I've never been fully comfortable in this house - and I understand why, now that I'm here with my eyes fully open to the world beyond. There's an energy that made me so eager to escape the house if I was stuck here for too long...” She trailed off as the pair locked eyes. Their dates mostly consisted of trips outside the manor. How much of it was genuine romantic feelings, and how much was actually the actions of something hidden inside the walls influencing the minds of two who lived and worked there? Celine’s eyes widened in realisation. Was their entire relationship something staged by whatever lurked in the house to advance its sick plot? William pulled himself up, sitting properly on the chair as he finally gave Celine his full attention.

“Something dark, far beyond our control, is going on right under our noses. It has acted out and used us as pawns before. If we don’t reach Mark, it will happen again. Please, Colonel… Don’t joke around.”

“I won’t.”

Celine drew three cards and set them on the table. William didn’t understand the significance of them, and Celine’s explanation of their symbolism shot over his head, but he could understand that they confirmed ‘the path was clear’ (whatever that meant). William followed Celine’s breathing instructions as his thoughts slipped away. His vision grew blurry and then… Everything went black.

-

William stood in one of the empty bedrooms, his back against the closed door as he gathered his bearings after promising to hunt the 'old bag of bones'. He could hear footsteps and a voice pass by, “- we were celebrating something, but he never specified what". Frowning, William opened the door -

  Mark was standing on the stairs, addressing the group in a hollow, dramatic performance. "It's not all about the poker. It's not about me… it's about you." William glanced to the right. Mark had pointed to the stranger William met outside. The rest of Mark's speech faded out as the location morphed to the cellar.

  "A fully loaded gun? It wouldn't be you if you weren't armed to the teeth, would it?" Mark had the pistol, casually dumping the bullets onto the counter. William tried to snatch his gun back, but hesitated as he felt the bullets rattle in his pocket - the bullets he had taken out of his gun before the party ever began...

He looked up. There was a closed door in front of him. "This place is cursed!” William hesitated. He recognised the voice. But when he turned his head -

  He was looking out an upstairs window. An older man with fair hair and brown overalls stood in the garden. He was surrounded by Chef, the Detective, and the Attorney as he leaned on the handle of his shovel. “However, there is one reason. One incident. One manifestation - that will get me into that madhouse… And you had better pray to God that reason never comes to pass.”

---

William pulled himself back to his body with a heavy gasp as he lurched forward.

"Colonel? What happened? What did you see?" Celine called out. William didn't answer at first. He heaved as he gathered his bearings. Both hands tightly squeezed his knees to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. It was only when he lifted his head that Celine could see how shaken he was.

"This place is cursed." 

"I know. That's why I'm trying to-"

"No, you don't understand. This place is cursed. If we stay here, any of us, the curse will get us too. It's like you said - we're on the verge of being used as pawns." For someone who was such a firm sceptic minutes earlier, William was very set on this change of heart. "Tidy your things. We need to go. All of us."

"I'm not going anywhere. That's why I came back! There's an unseen force that needs to be dealt with."

"Whatever it is, it got Mark. Do you want to be next? Pack up. We can continue this outside."

"We are NOT going anywhere! We are NOT done! Tell me what you saw!"

"I saw people talking about how no one knows what's going on around here. George has the answers, but we need to go out to him."

"... I told you not to play around."

"I'm not. That's exactly what I saw."

"How does that give any indication of the truth? You need to go back and take this seriously! This is a matter of life and death!"

"That's what I'm TRYING to do! Why don't you BELIEVE me?!"

“What in the shit are you two yelling about?!” Abe charged in, taking in the scene before him. The Attorney trailed just behind him with worry on their face. “What is -”

“Get out! We aren’t done - Colonel!” William took advantage of the distraction to snatch his hat and put it back on. “Where do you think you’re going?!”

“Get her to pack up. We all need to get outside. Someone find Damien. I need to talk to George." William shouldered past the Attorney and stormed off.

“George? Who the hell is George?” Abe noticed the change in demeanour in both Benjamin and the Chef and quickly cornered them. “What do you two know?”

“Well…” Benjamin looked aside as he scratched his cheek. “George is the manor’s groundskeeper. But he only works weekdays. I don’t know where the Colonel would be going since he wouldn’t be here...”

“It looks like your friend here may disagree with that notion!” 

“Me?” The Chef pointed to himself with feigned innocence.

“Yeah, you.”

“I don’t know shit. I plead the fifth, man!” Chef folded his arms, intending that to be the end of that. Instead, Benjamin turned and sharply poked Chef’s arm.

“Chef, if you know something, for God’s sake spit it out!”

“Okay, alright! You’re twisting my arm.” Chef took a half-step back to give himself room away from the others. “Alright… George has been living on the grounds for years-”

“WHAT?!” Benjamin’s reaction perfectly encapsulated what everyone else was thinking.

“And you just now thought to share that information with us? How the hell did the Colonel know that if no one else did?” Abe lifted a hand in frustration at this revelation.

“Private lived in the manor when he used to work here. The two were friends, and the only one that fuckin’ hermit would talk to while working in the gardens.”

“Oh great! Wonderful! Now we might have a case of an accomplice of a murderer being right here!” Abe’s outcry was drowned out by a clap of thunder.

“For the last time, stop saying that word!” Celine snapped, storming out of the séance room.

“Look, George… He’s just a guy who tends to the grounds -”

“I don’t have time for fucking excuses! The Colonel has just run out there to find this man, and we’d best find him before anything else -"

"Can you all stop bickering and leave?" Celine interrupted sharply.

"You're not coming?"

"I'm not finished. I need more answers." Abe pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a heavy sigh.

"I can't keep an eye on all of you if you all insist on being so immature… Partner," the Attorney looked surprised as Abe called them over, "I need you to stay here and be my eyes. 

“Excuse me? I don’t need to be kept under surveillance, least of all under your order!” Celine’s eyes narrowed as she took in the numbers around them. “Shouldn't they be with Damien, if you're so stressed about everyone splitting up?”

“I just checked in on him, madam. He's asleep in his room with his leg propped up." While Celine was relieved her brother was resting, it also eliminated her scapegoat. She turned to the Attorney.

"Fine. You can stay. But I need to do my work first." The Attorney was doubtful, but Celine's mind was set. Why were they staying if the Colonel ordered everyone to go outside?

“C’mon. We’re wasting time.” Abe gestured for Chef to lead the way out. Celine returned to the room with the Attorney in tow. They glanced over their shoulder and caught the gaze of Abe. “We’ll be back in a few minutes, Partner. We're going to get to the bottom of this mess.”

All the Attorney could do was give a small smile as they closed the door. What else could they do? Their hands were tied.

-

Next Chapter

[mxrisabelaxqua]

Ons theory: Prediction of Asuramaru’s betrayal

(I had stated before that I’m not really one for writing theories and such. That remains true, however, there will be some times where I’ll actually write for the fandom.)

Okay so here we go! Theory time, ons nation.

This theory mostly revolves around chapter94 of Owari no seraph. It’s gonna talk about how Asuramaru’s betrayal could’ve been predicted.

So, let’s get started!

There was always one thing that never sat right with me while reading chapter94. I may be over-examining the art style here however, I always found this panel over here a little skeptical.

I’d like to talk about Ashera’s expression here. To me(at least), THAT does not look like a genuine smile. At first glance, it looks like a forced one— a possessed one, even. (However, by the information we got in chapters100-101, we know that Ashera is not at all possessed by the First.)

Again, I could be over-examining but the biggest give-away to why I think that is his eyes. They look, well dead, there’s no emotion in them whatsoever. The only thing that shows us that he’s smiling is his opened mouth.

Another thing I’d like to mention aside from his expressions, is his dialogue to what he says to Krul in that moment. There’s a pause between two specific words.

“Trust me....Krul.”

I have reason to believe that in that moment, Ashera didn’t know whether everything was under control, he said it more as a bluff to reassure his sister.

We know that Ashera knows who he is working for, his allies and he acknowledged the responsibility(or more so burden) of betraying the Shinoa Squad and his contractor.

By knowing all of this information, I am fairly certain to say that Ashera was very confident in his plans, having set everything up and such by knowing the first will awaken soon.

(With Mikaela out of the picture and Yuu being naïve in the eyes of many, Ashera wasn’t worried about anyone interrupting his plans.)

But, there was one obstacle in his way that came last minute — the one thing that caused him to hesitate and think things through. He didn’t anticipate Krul’s arrival way before Sika Madu awakened and Demon!Mika spawning into the world.

What I’d like to think that happened is when he told her everything will be fine, it was more out of necessity instead of sincerity. Ashera knows that if Yuu gets involved, things could go wrong with Sika’s plans. Since Yuu is with Krul now, it sort of causes a threat to Ashera’s confidence.

So, as a last ditch effort to try and not have Krul involved(for his benefit), he tells her to trust him and even appears to her.

Speaking of the Tepes siblings’ reunion, I’d also like to add this panel here.

I feel like that was a bit too casual on his part to say after not seeing his sister for 1200+ years. Ashera focusing on his betrayal and to retrieve demon!Mika instead of showing at least the littlest of concern for his sister raises red flags for me.

Why does it raise flags, it’s mainly because Ashera recovered his memory from when he used to be a slave to Sika Madu and of his sister. We saw during the flashbacks that Ashera would do anything to protect those that he cares about from danger. Truly , a scapegoat.

In conclusion, if we paid attention to Ashera’s dialogues and looked for the signs, we could’ve predicted his betrayal and alliance with Sika Madu and the other demons.

[flowesona]

Temperance - Yandere! Seokjin x reader

The Tarot Series

Warning: Mentions of Suicide/ Self Harm, Blackmailing

“I love you more than anything in the world. You know that, right?” 

“You told me that less than an hour ago. I couldn’t possibly forget.” (Y/N) beamed as Jin passed his fountain pen to her, letting her finally sign her name next to his. 

She’d dreamed of the perfect wedding for years, with many Pinterest boards on dress options, decor and catering. A simple registry and a plain black dress weren’t a part of her dreams, but they were now her reality. After all, with Jin’s occupation putting him in the spotlight at all time, it was the best they could do to avoid being detected.

“Well, now I can tell you how much I love you every day for the rest of our lives.” He said, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Until death do us part.”

Her heart thumped as he spoke. It was like a dream come true to marry the idol of her dreams, the caring, sweet man whom she’d spent so many years pining after. 

“Let's get out of here. We’ve got so much ahead of us, I can’t wait!” Jin pulled her out of the registry straight into the waiting car once all was said and done, the driver doing his very best to keep his eyes on the road as the couple got closer than would be appropriate under the protection of heavily tinted windows.

*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*

The dream of waking up next to her dreamy idol husband didn’t quite become a reality for (Y/N). Often, she was woken up by him giving her a kiss before rushing out the door. Then, he was at interviews, photoshoots, dance rehearsals until the early evening. Finally, usually around 8 PM finally his wife got to see him properly, awaiting him with a freshly made dinner that stuck rigidly to his diet plan, no matter how much she hated it.

He would mumble a few words of thanks but otherwise the meal would be silent until Jin had finished eating and would retire to their room, (Y/N) trailing behind him once she’d cleaned the dishes. He’d often be fast asleep by the time she was ready for bed, not even stirring as she crawled in beside him and held him close, the heat of his body being the only comfort he was able to give her.

The routine was set in stone, virtually nothing changing. (Y/N) didn’t hate it, but she wasn’t happy. It pained her to see the spark in their romance die, to see such Jin become so distant and apathetic as if he didn’t love her like he’d sworn.

But even as their relationship was on the slow decline, they weren’t ready for the huge drop that awaited in the form of a new article.

(Y/N) felt like she was about to vomit. The phone in her hands was trembling, teetering in her weak fingers as she tried to process the headline.

‘Kim Seokjin has a secret WIFE?! Fans React to the news!’

Somehow, someone working in the records office had evidently leaked the marriage certificate. Now, her name was trending on social media, accompanied with possessive threats and scornful hate upon her husband and herself. There were a few tweets congratulating the couple or trying to calm the angry cult,  but it wasn’t enough.

The door burst open, Jin immediately at her side wiping her tears away.

“The lawyers are on the case, we’ll get everything removed. I’m taking a break from music and we’ll go somewhere remote so you won’t get harassed anymore. I’ve got this all under control, you don’t need to worry babe.” He soothed, alarmed as (Y/N) wasn’t comforted at all.

“This isn’t fair, Jin!” She protested. “Why am I the scapegoat whilst you don’t have to worry about a thing? Why am I the one that everyone hates?!”

“I know, I know. I wish we could do something about the fans, but they’re out of my control. We just have to wait, babe.”

“I don’t think we should be together anymore.”

Jin looked like he’d just been shot.

“B-babe, you don’t mean that. This will pass, we can still be together. Just wait for the lawyers to deal with it all-”

“This isn’t right for my happiness.” (Y/N) pressed on. “I don’t want to be the hidden away wife, deprived of all my husband’s love just because of his career. I want to live life as free as possible, and if that means leaving you then so be it.”

He gave her a pleading look, the best he could do to persuade her without getting down on his knees and begging, but she wasn’t swayed.

“I really do love you.”

*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*

The change to their relationship was very welcome for (Y/N). She lived far out from the city, away from prying paparazzi cameras. Every day she was free to do as she wished, no bodyguards, no feelings of guilt. Then, every fortnight she arranged to see Jin in the private of her new home. 

But it only took three weeks for their routine to break. After all, finding a weeping Jin at her door was not how (Y/N) planned her Tuesday evening to be, as she pulled him inside after glancing around to make sure that there were no lingering witnesses.

Even in separation from him, (Y/N) was still undeniably in love with Jin. She couldn’t bear to see him out in public in such a low, pathetic state.

“Jin, what’s wrong?” She asked, wiping away a stray tear as he leant into her hold.

“I can’t do this, (Y/N).” He whimpered. “I can’t live without you. I thought it would be okay, but seeing you once a month just isn’t enough. I need you, you’re my everything.”

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered as he sobbed harder. “I wish there was something I could do.”

“I need to see you more. Twice a week at my house, at the very least. Preferably on the weekends, since I have shorter practice hours.” The waterworks stopped, even though Jin’s voice was still slightly croaky.

“People will find out. It’s better to let them forget. You care about my safety, right?” 

“But what about my happiness? I can’t live like this, keeping you away like some mistress when I should be loud and proud calling you my wife.” Jin protested, eyes wide.

“But your fans hate me. I’ve had to endure the wrath and harassment of thousands of your fans. I’m sorry, it’s your career or me.”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, fiddling with its alpaca case.

“I wrote a message to my fans.” He said, “Would you like to hear it?”

Before (Y/N) could open her mouth, he was reading it aloud.

“I’m sorry for leaving you so abruptly, but I can’t live like this. Knowing that my wife (L/N) (Y/N) does not love me truly breaks me to my core, but perhaps there may be someone in another life who can reciprocate my feelings and care for who I am, not what I have. So long, babe.”

(Y/N) was frozen to the spot.

“By the time they realise what I’ve said, I’ll be dead and gone. Do you want that, babe? Do you want my blood on your hands? Since you care so much about how my fans feel about you, how would you like to see how they react to you being the reason I kill myself?”

Every word Jin was spitting was acidic, far from the light-hearted man (Y/N) had fallen in love with.

“Are you seriously saying that if I don’t toe the line and see you once a week, you’ll kill yourself and blame me?”

Jin nodded.

“Trust me, (Y/N). I’ve tried being without you, and life just isn’t worth living. I know now that I’d rather die than have us be apart any longer. If you won’t come back to me, I’ll make your life hell.”

He reached out for her hand, pressing a kiss to it.

“Let’s go home. I’ve missed you so much, babe.”

[sepublic]

Amity Ramblings

           For my –current- read on Amity, one important thing to consider for myself is that she would NEVER speak up against an authority figure… at least not at this point in time, as of writing this. In episode 3, Amity is clearly frustrated over the Abomination Teacher flippantly giving the Top Student badge to Willow, and then she… Blames the situation entirely on Willow, and never once speaks up against the professor about it. Amity treats Willow as the sole cause of the situation, and not the professor for being so easily swayed. The Professor doesn’t realize how much the badge means to Amity, but to her it means a lot for a number of… disturbing reasons. Amity also makes a point about NEVER getting in trouble with Principal Bump… Then in Covention, Amity doesn’t get mad at Lilith; She focuses her issue on Luz.

           And looking at her parents, this just reinforces this belief- That Amity never questions the adults, because her parents have conditioned her to believe that the ADULTS know what’s best for her, that they’re talking; That Amity is just a dumb little kid who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. By enforcing the idea of obeying authority and blindly trusting in it, because don’t you DARE question what the older person has to say… It makes sense that Amity is way too conditioned to speak up against adults. So everytime she’s frustrated by one, she wouldn’t dare vocalize her anger at them; Instead, she’ll find a scapegoat to project her resentment towards, because Amity doesn’t have any other outlet to release her unhappiness on.

           (Well, besides herself… But as we can tell, she has REALLY directed that resentment inward at this point, so.)

           Not to mention, Amity takes her parents’ opinions very seriously, because if she doesn’t- You get the idea. Keep in mind how strict they are with Amity having one, particular friend- Literally just ONE friend, Willow doesn’t even have to be Amity’s only friend! It can be Boscha & Skara AND Willow… But her parents are so adamant about keeping their daughter ‘proper’. If they’re that strict about a single friend, imagine how controlling they are about their daughter’s personal mentor and tutor, the one who’s meant to make Amity become the strong Witch she’s supposed to be? So Amity doesn’t get mad at Lilith either, because not only is she an adult, but getting mad at Lilith means that Lilith messed up; And it means that Lilith is an imperfect teacher and choice, and thus that her parents didn’t make the perfect decision… You get the idea.

          Doubting Lilith is, by extension, doubting her parents and Amity fears the retribution for that in many ways. Not to mention, Lilith is the head of the Emperor’s Coven, the very organization that Amity dreams of getting into… She wouldn’t DARE feel resentment towards Lilith, because that might lead to Amity vocalizing her anger, and thus sabotage her chances at joining the Emperor’s Coven! So Amity definitely looks up to Lilith, but I also fear that she’s lowkey afraid of her as well… Of course, given how much Lilith cares for Eda, and how much she respects her sister’s autonomy; This fear may very well be unfounded, at least towards Lilith herself and not the decision of Amity’s parents. I can see Lilith being much more willing to accept criticism and not really realize that Amity fears Lilith, in part as an extension of her own parents…

           So, yeah- To Amity, the adults know best and if anything goes wrong at some point, obviously it’s the fault of some other kid. I get BIG “I’m more mature than other kids my age” vibes from her, you know the ones where a kid thinks that by being quiet and obedient they’re more ‘mature’, especially since adults act like they are… But then they grow up and realize they were just unable to stand up for themselves and as a result end up emotionally stunted. That’s… basically what Amity is, to me; It’s part of why she can be so cold and off-putting to other Witches, amongst OTHER reasons…

           Similarly, it’s worth remembering that while Amity may TRY to be all professional and mature and proper, and hold herself to these sacred rules and ideals of strength… She’s still a kid. Amity Blight is still an impressionable dork of a kid who wants validation, is lonely, and when allowed to be herself is a total nerd. She has her moments of being frustrated and impulsive and trying to cope with her emotions and immaturely projecting them onto others, because she’s not allowed to express and handle any frustration in life; Just repress it all under the idea that she’s ‘stronger’ for it.

           So you have Amity, who beneath it all can sometimes be petty and mean-spirited, but also still an unprofessional kid. Looking back at Episode 3, I really think that after she cut ties with Willow… I think Amity began to internalize and project some of her own resentment towards herself and her parents, onto Willow herself! Hence why she’s so initially condescending; In order to cope with the pain of losing a friend, Amity tries to justify it by deciding that Willow really WAS too weak to be her friend!

And then she internalizes anger at Willow for having not been strong enough for Amity, for not being ‘worthy’ enough to hang out with her… Because obviously, Amity’s parents are NEVER wrong and if they were, why, it’d imply that Willow suffered unjustly! And at this point, Amity can only really cope with the idea of suffering by justifying it to herself; Particularly when it’s directed at Amity, because then how else can she make sense of the world? What is the alternative; A reality where people are unfairly punished?

           No, the adults are right and are always correct, Amity needs SOMETHING to believe in… So instead she just accepts what her parents say at face-value. She resents Willow for not being strong enough to be her friend, for ‘abandoning’ her, because Amity is still a lonely kid who has her immature, petty moments. I know I’m being harsh and I kind of am… But at the same time, my point is that Amity’s pettiness and moments of immaturity are worth considering under the lens that she’s a kid who has undergone emotional abuse and gaslighting. She’s not some cold, calculating bully; Amity is a person with insecurities just like anyone else. In other words… Give her a break, man!

           Going back to what I said about Amity projecting her own anger towards her parents at Willow, I think the implication in Episode 3’s beginning… Is that at some point, Amity got the idea to reconnect with Willow, because deep-down she doesn’t REALLY blame her and also she just misses Willow- I know I would! So Amity gets the bright idea to make Willow strong; To make her worthy enough to be her friend, and then she can get away with being friends with Willow again without her parents being mad about it!

           Obviously, Amity is the target of abuse and probably doesn’t even realize it, so a lot of the ‘methods’ and tactics she uses, to get Willow to incentivize learning and becoming stronger… Aren’t actually all that helpful and just serve to make Willow feel even worse. As far as Amity knows, all the things her parents did to her worked; So why not do the same to Willow? Amity still believes in the lie that she’s a weak person who has to be beaten into shape, after all…

           Then of course when it just makes Willow feel worse and results in her resorting to cheating, Amity holds Willow accountable for this; Because SHE never cheated under the same lessons and guidance of her parents! And she REALLY wouldn’t want to confront the implication that what seemingly ‘worked’ for Amity, is actually making Willow feel terrible… Because that’d imply that Amity feels terrible, and obviously Amity is aware of her own unhappiness! But she may not want to admit its true source, and instead find a scapegoat for it. Again- Why she blames Luz and Willow for her problems in Episodes 3 and 5, and not the teachers who caused the mess to begin with!

          TL;DR The Blight Parents are straight-up garbage, utter dumpster-fires who completely messed up their own kid. The Blight Parents are like Look we made a Strong Witch, and I’m just like… NO, you messed up a perfectly good kid is what you did. Look at her, she’s got anxiety, emotional repression, trauma, and self-loathing!

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 133 Results

The chapter poll closed with 1456 responses. This month’s poll results brought to you by /u/berthototototo ,u/staraves, u/_Puppet_, @shifter-lines​ and @momtaku​

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,365 responses

Nearly 80% of the fandom rated chapter 133 as good or great. In comparison with most SnK chapters, that’s on the low side. Since this was yet another set up chapter it’s possible that the fandom is waiting to see what payoff there will be before they throw their full support behind the developments introduced this month.

lmao good chapter but wtf

It's the best paced chapter since the rumbling began.

All I can say is I can't wait for the next chapter.

Great start to the end

There were a lot of contrived moments here on the first read but I'm hopeful things will play out in an unexpected way.

One of the better recent chapters, felt well paced and most of the dialogue and events seemed logical and fitting. Nice to see one more location added to the AOT world before the end.

I’ve been doing polls for almost 30 chapters now, this is the first where I have no chapter rating, I need to see how all this plays out before I decide if I love it or hate it.

All of this self-reflection is annoying. Though that feeling is just more because of the fact that waiting a whole month for another ‘these hands have killed’ chapter is not exciting when we are so close do the end and I just want to see the ending already.

Average as fuck, the intention is good but the execution is not it, and the dialogues feel very forced and repetitive.

Not good at connecting the narrative plot points 'cause there's...hundreds of them at this point but I'm here for the character interactions and to see just what the hell that "See you, Eren" from the beginning actually meant

Good but I worry about the pacing, some of this should have came earlier, will wait to see what comes from it.

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT 1,379 responses

Looks like a lot of people were glad to see that this conflict will not be resolved with a little heart-to-heart (34.9%). People also loved seeing child Eren being spooky with his new pal Ymir (18.8%). 11% liked seeing Eren’s friends reach out to him – or at least try.  9.4% liked Levi, because Levi. Connie, Jean, and Reiner sharing a moment of understanding warmed 8.6% of your hearts. 5.6% were happy to see Falco and Gabi brainstorming, and seeing Mr. Leonhart being a badass was the favorite moment for 3.6%.

I don’t know how it didn’t come up in this survey that Levi called Armin COMMANDER. That was my favorite moment by far. I also enjoyed the confirmation of Levi still caring about Eren. He always uses Zeke as a scapegoat. I somewhat feel bad for monke.

Isayama yeeting the Talk no Jutsu trope was my favorite moment!

I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT FLYING TITAN IS CANON LIKE HOLY SHIT

It was tough for me to decide a favorite moment from this chapter because every scene in this one was awesome. That's how fantastic of a chapter it was! I guess the only issue for me is the possibility of the Flying Titan actually becoming a reality when it felt too good to be true, but looking back, I think there was some foreshadowing to this becoming a reality.

God bless Isayama for the flying titan reveal

Favourite part was child Eren and Ymir standing in the paths.

Kiyomi being willing to die and sink with the ship actually hit me harder than I expected

Levi being the smollest husband is my favorite.

The gang forgiving RBA makes my heart weep with both melancholy and joy

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP 1,363 responses

Kiyomi and Eren are similar shades of green in this chart but I assure you it was Eren’s ranting about freedom (39.8%) and not Kiyomi’s talk of sacrifice and atonement (1%) that granted Eren this month’s MVP. Armin (18.9%), Mr. Leonhardt (9.5%), Falco (6.2%) and Levi (5.7%) are the other visible pieces of the pie.

#TEAMEREN

ANNIE IS THE BEST GIRL!

EREN IS A GENEROUS GOD

Falco is a good boy

Proud of armin for not backing out from commander role🤩

I love every time Eren shows up nowadays, other characters are getting a little worrying tho, Its starting to seem like alot of them have outlived their usefulness to the story and are just repeating stuff until their deaths.

Reiner handsome. That is all.

eren is just a cool badass

  WILL ONYANKOPON ACTUALLY MANAGE TO GET THE PLANE TO EREN WITHOUT ISSUE, OR WILL THE HALF-CAPACITY FUEL TANK BECOME A RELEVANT POINT? 1,363 responses

Because Isayama has made clear that details as small as which direction Grisha is looking while leaving the house can’t go unquestioned in this manga, we asked about the fuel tank which is at half-capacity thanks to Floch, and whether or not it will present problems for those on board. A strong plurality, at 44.2% of you, think that they’ll run out of fuel, but it won’t be a massive hindrance. In second place, with almost exactly half of the votes as the first answer, 22.2% of you think Onyankopon will use the plan in some sort of suicidal attack, and just under 20% think the fuel tank will be a major roadblock in some other way. Lastly, ~14% of voters said they’ll make it just fine despite the damage. I admire your optimism.

I hope in vain that Onyankopon doesn't die. He won't even get to go to PATHS if he does.

  THE TALK WITH EREN FINALLY HAPPENED… SORT OF. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DESCRIBE YOUR THOUGHTS? 1,371 responses

Multiple select charts aren’t the prettiest but we like to think they do a good job of showcasing what the fandom thinks on a topic. While none of the options this month reached any sort of consensus, they do provide a snapshot of what we want and expect from Eren.  

Of the items offered, only “I’m glad Eren was firm and there will likely be no Talk no Jutsu” reached 50%. The other more popular choice were “I’m surprised Eren reached out to them instead of the other way around” (41%), “THAT PATHS STUFF IS STILL SO COOL” (38.8%) and “I’m glad so many were able to talk to him and it wasn’t just EMA” (33%).

The more negative options, ‘Eren was unnecessarily cruel, his friends deserve better”(13.8%), “I’m mad that Eren is letting them fight him. It’s like he wants to lose” (10.6% ) and “I don’t like Eren dismissing the possibility of talking” (8.1%) received only a fraction of support.

it looks like Eren is committed to HIS path, which backs his friends into a really tough corner. I can't say I'm surprised; we've seen it coming since they got to the ocean, we just didn't want to believe it.

Paths do be lit tho

I really wish Eren would stop the rumbling. He had done more than enough.

Eren's speech, didn't feel like him talking. It was way too typical, he used his catchphrases way too many times. This could be done on purpose for an in-story actual reason, but if it wasn't, i'm not a fan of it. The alliance talking about the colossal being able to defeat eren, makes me think armin won't be able to. I think Armin and Reiner still don't understand Eren's intentions, i fully think he does not want to be stopped. Eren is going to try to kill all of them.

I love Eren dialogues. I just loved the chapter and paths scene so much. Quality character development!!

Feel sad about Erens "catch me if you can" - I wish that the alliance will work together with Eren ....

Thank god for no talk no jutsu

he's been allowing them to use their titan powers, even against the Yeagerists who were supposed to defend their country. That means Eren doesn't dise with his friends, but doesn't side with his own supporters. Yeah, Eren's a dick.

  WHOSE WORDS TO EREN DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST? 1,366 responses

The attempts at talking to Eren were almost a character rorschach test as each individual brought up what was closest to their hearts in an effort to stop the rumbling. While none of their pleas impacted Eren, we were curious which one the fandom enjoyed most. Levi’s promise of an ass kicking (32.5%) was the favorite, distantly followed by Mikasa’s more impassioned “Let us share your burdens” (24.9%).

Levi beeing sassy again - awsome

Mikasa saying she wants Eren to share his sins with her may be a hint for what's to come. I think she won't be able to let go of Eren and turn against the alliance to protect him.

Levi is hilarious

Honestly, the alliance have been so clueless that even Eren himself had to spare a moment for them, explicitly telling them that talking is never an option with Eren ‘I must always fight’ Yeager.

Look man, I'm an Eremika shipper and all but I really wish Mikasa didn't go on her usual "I'm here for you Eren" spiel in paths. It felt a little forced, and this would've been a good arc to have some more upfront and major changes as to how Mikasa sees Eren, but to get that usual "100% devotion" Mikasa that we've seen all series after we got signs that she's changed how she sees Eren was kind of disappointing.

I knew that the alliance talking to Eren won't work

Everyone is all sad while trying to convince Eren to stop the rumbling, and there's Levi cracking up jokes 😂 

  EREN PREEMPTIVELY TOLD THE ALLIANCE TO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH HIM AND TO ATTACK HIM WITH THE INTENT OF KILLING HIM. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 1,357 responses

It seems to be another month of Isayama dangling Eren’s motivations in front of us, though this time we got some substance in the form of some surprising words to the alliance. The most popular interpretation is the straightforward one (30.1%), that it’s as Eren says and he is genuine in not wanting to step on his friends’ freedom. Up next is people who support Reiner’s hypothesis of Eren wanting somebody to stop him (21.2%), with decreasingly popular choices being Eren wants to be killed only after the rumbling is complete (15.5%), he’s just continuing his daily “freedom” spiel (12.4%), and he’s confident in the alliance’s inability to stop him (11.6%). Many opted for the write in option to share their original theories (5.6%).

Seemed like a cry for help to me.

Im convinced that he wants to be stopped, he just doesn’t realize it yet.

Inconsistent character writing lol

Eren loves his friends, so much that he is unleashing the Rumbling, but he only cares about them on a physical level. He wants them to stay alive, no matter how they are mentally.

Eren is in the darkest part of his mind and wants to die. However, his obession with freedom is strong, so he keeps moving foward and won't allow his friends to just kill him without fight.

He wants the alliance to challenge fate, as he thinks the destruction of the world is inevitable

I believe that Eren does want to win but doesn’t want to live with the guilt, but I just felt this moment was too forced, and honestly a little bit cringe, just didn’t feel like something Eren would say

It wasn't Eren talking

No idea, not even sure it's really Eren talking

There are only a few possibilities that make sense: Reiner is right and he wants them to kill him, Ymir is controlling the PATHS and trying to imitate Eren but doesn't quite understand that his concept of freedom is hypocritical, OR Eren only sees restriction of freedom enforced through PATHS as being truly taking away their freedom, like he thinks it's alright to manipulate, gaslight, beat and imprison his friends using his own voice and hands, but using the Founder is somehow too far.

it’s all a part of his plan even tho the fandom hates it. Just wait for it guys ;)

Eren wants the world to see that the Eldians they hate are saving them from the rumbling

If allaiance kills eren then the world will respect eldians more

Zero Requiem

I don't like the Lelouch scenario, it is contrary to what Eren's character really is. I believe there is more to this because why say it now, when he could have said it before ? There has been many holes with what he's doing.

Lelouch ending

LELOUCH LELOUCH LELOUCH

It means he values freedom over safety... which makes him look like a hypocrite because a lot of times he had no problem taking their freedom from them lol

hes hypcritical asf, getting to decide who can be free or not when he that literally was bothered by that himself. I think it was very selfish

Eren has become crazy had this point and his reasoning doesn't make sense, he's trying to dodge reality

Eren is just trying to define, create, and justify his own version of “freedom” because he can’t let go of his childish way of looking at the world. Letting his friends have their “freedom” almost feels like a cheap necessity he had to toss into his homemade definition of freedom.

Eren is a fucking narcissist, a hypocrite.

Eren is dumb

Eren is just doing what he has to do.

Eren's cool as fuck

He's literally giving them the choice to do what they want. The freedom of will. It's up to them to decide if they want to stop him by force or not. At the end of the day, Eren is already firmly set on doing what's necessary for Paradis.

If they want to die trying to stop the rumbling, they are free to do so. But, he wants them to know that negotiating is useless

Reiner is wrong, Eren doesn't want to be stopped because the Cringevengers are trying to take away his freedom to destroy his enemies

  EREN IS DEPICTED AS A CHILD, AND WITH THE SAME SHADED EYES AS YMIR ONCE DID. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING EXPLANATIONS DO YOU BELIEVE? 1,339 responses

Child Eren appears again in this chapter, but now resembling Ymir even more. About half of the fandom thinks that the shaded out eyes is a sign of loss of free will. The other popular option, at 42.1% is that they’re depicted at the age they first got their titan powers. The idea that their eyes symbolize ignorance and that their child form symbolizes immaturity each got about 16%, and 10.5% of fans think Yams drew it this way just to look cool.

Alliance POV. They cannot understand Eren/Ymir, therefore their eyes (=windows to the soul) are obscured. Note that Ymir's eyes gradually got clearer from Eren's POV as he humanized her.

Carla died when Eren was still a child. He never healed from this traumatic experience, his child-self is still strongly suffering, that why he appeared as a child. I believe that the child next to Ymir is the darkest part of Eren's soul.

child self image is reflective of eren entering a state of naivety so as to bear the pain and gravity of the rumbling which he has caused  

I think it symbolizes a kinda immature concept of freedom

"Slaves don't need two eye balls". Eren is a slave to freedom.

shaded eyes represent being blinded by their desire for freedom & child-like state represents their innocence even if deemed to be something more

The are the ages of their greatest trauma

Adult Eren couldn't live with the guilt so he's letting child Eren carry the weight.

Both of them are doing everything for the sake of others, at the moment they aren't even thinking about themselves. EREN wants the people he loves and cares about to live a happy life and for that he is ready to sacrifice himself.

Bert had shaded eyes when talking to Armin too. I think it means the character is going to do questionable actions but in a mysterious manner. If that makes sense…

Bertold had the same shaded eyes when he was acting as the villain in rts. Same for Eren/Ymir here. Like Bertold, he is willing to kill his friends

Eren could have split his psyche similar to Reiner did with Marco. He is so distraught from his actions that he is using his child self's willpower to continue moving forward.

What about that parasite thing that attached to Ymir in the tree? What if that's the big bad of the series, and has taken over Eren?

The eyes are closed because they are tapped into the Yggdrasil network and are looking at what is happening in the real world through an inner eye.

  YMIR APPEARS TO BE ALIGNED WITH EREN. WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS? 1,329 responses

Ymir and Eren standing side by side was quite the sight to behold, but what does it mean? The large majority at 55.9% believe it indicates that they’re on the same side wanting the rumbling. 19.2% believe Eren to be a pawn to her now, 15.6% think it’s the other way around, and 9.3% think she’s on his side but is having doubts about her allegiance.

Corrupted by the Eren’s idea of freedom (Ymir’s freedom was taken from her); Child Eren is a prisoner of Adult Eren’s future actions.

Eren is taking Ymir's place as the lord of the Paths. Like Ymir, after he dies, he will live on in the Paths.

I low key think Eren is kinda being controlled by Ymir/ conflicting with her

Eren is now like Ymir, enslaved in Paths to something bigger

Ymir started controlling Eren when he was a child

Ymir and Eren are tied together now. One is definitely being influenced by the inner emotions of the other (possibly Ymir's years of resentment for her life since we saw Eren "sleeping" at the end of one of the previous chapters with the birds)

Eren as a child symbolises regression, immaturity and narrow-mindedness. Eren refuses to be an adult (aka making compromises, listening to others…) and enslaves himself to the simplistic ideology he had as a child. Ymir was a literal slave who never managed to emancipate herself despite her power. I think the parallel between the two is to make Eren's state of mind more explicit than it already was in 131.

EY is cute and canon

  EREN SAYS ALL THAT’S LEFT IS TO FIGHT. WHO IN THE APPROACHING BATTLE WOULD HE BE WILLING TO KILL? 1,333 responses

Eren’s willingness to kill his own friends has been a topic of debate ever since the two sides separated, and this chapter pushed that question further. People seem to think Eren would hesitate the most with Mikasa and Armin, and hesitate the least with Pieck and Reiner, with the others falling into various middle positions, as the chart shows. The requisite to avoid Eren’s hit list seems to unsurprisingly be a pre-existing bond with him, with some leeway being given to children. Except for Gabi, it seems, but we all know how Eren fondly refers to her as “that brat”.

Eren has accepted that he will kill his friends, and wants to get it over with

Eren explicitly said "If someone tries to take my freedom, I won't hesitate to take theirs". That was in private to Zeke, so I don't doubt for a minute he will kill anyone in the Cringevengers he needs to in order to achieve it.

He is willing to kill them and I can't wait when some of the 104th will die already

Eren kill Armin already please

If Falco dies, I cries.

  IF NEITHER SIDE STEPS DOWN, EREN SAYS THEY’LL COLLIDE. WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE BATTLE? 1,349 responses

The time to make your bets is here! As the long-awaited battle between the alliance and Eren approaches, the audience is almost evenly divided on what they think the outcome will be. If this poll counts for anything, the alliance are projected as the victors (50.6%), narrowly edging out (by only 15 votes) the believers in Eren as the winner (49.4%). Whether you attribute the neck-and-neck result to the unpredictability of the setup, or simply too many clearly incorrect people from the opposing side to yours, is up to you.

The alliance will win GG WP

The alliance have 1 skilled warrior , 2 skilled former SC soldiers , 5 Titan shifters and 2 Ackermans but I still thinking that they can't defeat Eren or Ymir .

th Eldian empire will win in the end and the outside world will get what it deserves...I hope

Eren naturally shouldn’t be able to be stopped. He’s way too powerful.

I appreciate the fact that Commander Armin definitely has no tangible plan and it was the SC part manifesting their death throes for a peaceful end. Still I can't help but cringe and not feel anything at their attempt.

don’t think it’s a win/lose situation between eren and alliance, both with win and lose in some way and there will be some 3rd option

I can't wait to see the alliance-Eren fight. I just can't wait

Isayama's writing with his asshole. Whoever side gets to win, we lose.

  LEVI RETURNED FROM PATHS WITH MORE FINGERS THAN HE STARTED WITH. IS THIS A MISTAKE? 1,342 responses

We’ve seen Isayama make mistakes that the fandom took too far before, is this the case again? In an incredibly close vote, 51.5% think it is just a mistake, while the other half at 48.5% are convinced Isayama slipped in this plot development.

I've been saying this for years but Levi getting his fingers back from the Paths was definitely intentional and I'm sure the relationship between Ackermans and the Paths are going to be a major plot point. And after 132 I'm wondering if the 'afterlife' aspect will prove important too.

Is it just me or has Annie been going through a growth spurt lately? Either that or Isayama's artwork is getting sloppy. Not to even mention Levi's fingers…

This was quite a chapter. So many things that could happen especially with the flying titan. And then levi possibly having his fingers back. Then learning annie’s titan power. I heard aot will have a bad ending but i hope the the alliance will win.

Levi is being healed by the coordenate. Ackerman's blood is "half titan" so he must have recovered because of that just like titans do.

  WHICH COMMANDER HAD A BETTER TITAN DRAWING? 1,352 responses

Can Armin live up to Erwin? While he’s asking himself that, the fandom has decided that in the drawing department he has not. Erwin’s (in?)famous turkey titan drawing ate up 61.2% of the votes compared to Armin’s drawing from this chapter at 38.8%.

none of this would have happened if my goat erwin was still alive

  IF EREN IS INDEED STOPPED BY SOMEONE, WHETHER IT BE KILLING HIM OR INHERITING HIS TITANS, WHO MAKES THE MOST SENSE FOR THIS ROLE? 1,349 responses

The bets are on Mikasa being the one to stop Eren and/or inherit his burdens at 30.2%. Her words to Eren this chapter could definitely be foreboding in hindsight. Armin, leader of the uphill battle against Eren, is the runner-up at 26.5%. 18.6% think the answer is no one – presumably because Eren will either wipe ‘em all out, or be the one to decide his own fate. 13.5% think Reiner will be the one, he is the same as Eren after all. But everyone is the same nowadays, so who knows?

We then have Gabi (4.3%), Falco (2%), and Zeke, Jean, and Levi tied (1.5%). Annie follows with a tiny fraction (0.4%), and Pieck, the ultimate underdog, has the fewest votes at 2, or 0.1%.

...Hang on, aren’t we missing someone? Yes – even below Pieck, there is the underdog of underdogs: literally nobody thinks Connie will be the one to end it all. Will he ever be considered a real main character? :’(

I'm leaning towards Mikasa.

It feels like there was a lot of foreshadowing for Reiner to go head-to-head with Eren one final time.

Can't wait for Gabi to eat Eren.

  WILL LEVI KILL ZEKE? 1,322 responses

It’s been over 4 years both in and out of world since Levi vowed to kill Zeke. Will he end up doing it after all this time? The majority of fans think he will, at 54.8%. 18.5% think he’ll die before completing his goal, and 14.2% think he’ll reassess the situation and his goal of killing Zeke.

Both will die fighting each other

He may kill him and realise it was pointless, both as revenge and to stop the rumbling. Or possibly he'll be prevented from using violence as a solution this time. No forgiveness though.

He will defeat him but die just after killing him

He will fulfill his promise to Erwin but he'll die soon after

I do think he will but I don't think it's about Erwin's promise anymore

He will prioritize stopping Eren over killing Zeke

Please don't kill monke. Let him redeem himself first. Monke to save the world!

He won't necessarily forgive Zeke, but he will take pity on his sad state of affairs, but more importantly realise stopping the rumbling is more important than his petty revenge.

I predict Levi will kill Zeke, but it will be some kind of suicidal attack that will get him killed in the process.

Zeke will die but not by Levi's hand

He'll be forced to team up with him to save the world. But won't forgive him.

Nah, characters never get what they want, plus I don't see a real fight between them, that would be repetitive and too predictable and Zeke is probably too distressed/depressed over what happened in paths. And that would be really boring if Levi killed him tbh.

No, Because Zeke is already dead

I can’t believe the Beast Titan could be any animal they wanted, including a T-Rex, and that boring jackass picked a monkey. As if he wasn’t enough of a loser.

HOW CORRECT ARE ARMIN AND LEVI IN THINKING THE RUMBLING CAN BE STOPPED BY KILLING ZEKE? 1,343 responses

Levi suggests to the alliance that instead of ending Eren’s life to stop the rumbling, they could opt to kill the man previously called the key to the Founder, Zeke. Only 4.2% of people agree that this would help in stopping the rumbling, with the most popular response at 41.8% being it would fail due to Eren having full control of the Founder. The belief that Zeke’s death would have alternatively disastrous consequences is also popular, with 27.8% thinking Ymir’s presence would allow the titans’ advancement to continue, and 26.2% expecting the lack of command over the titans would render them mindless, but still functioning.

killing zeke probably won’t solve anything since the rumbling has already started, it might make a difference since eren isn’t royal but i think it’s just too late, and I really don’t want zeke to get killed

They'll find either that Zeke is already dead and was only needed alive for a moment to begin the rumbling, or that his continued existence is still necessary for defeating Eren somehow.

Everyone's talking about "stop Eren using Zeke," and here I am remembering "Zeke, stop Eren."

How is killing Zeke going to solve what Eren is doing? The poor guy just wanted to achieve his dream of eliminating all pp’s and instead he has to bear the burden of the destruction of the whole world.

Killing Zeke instead of Eren would be an emotional cop out for the Alliance. I hope that won't become the case, because that would make the ending of this manga super dissatisfying.

  WHICH WHOLESOME MOMENT BETWEEN COMRADES DID YOU LIKE THE MOST? 1,334 responses

In such dire times, wholesome moments really are appreciated. 43.5% loves seeing Annie recall her 104th days the most, while 28.3% appreciated Connie accepting comfort from Reiner. The rest of you were split pretty closely between Gabi and Falco being adorbs together and Armin emulating Hange in his interactions with Onyankopon.

Annie's flashbacks of the Warriors I rly liked, Reiner smugly looking at Bertholdt was rly heartwarming...

It is very heart-warming how close the surviving members of the 104th still feel to each other after all said and done, including Eren.

the 104 got some understanding /closure for previous actions, so that's nice

Gabi and falco should have listened to Annie when she told them to take care of the charcoal, instead of ruining the chapter, and spewing some nonsense

WHICH OVERUSED PHRASE FROM THIS CHAPTER ARE YOU MOST TIRED OF? 1,315 responses

Isayama sure is hammering home certain themes and character motivations; is it too much?  29.1% are tired of hearing everyone scream EREH, which is most often attributed to Mikasa, but it branched out this chapter to all his friends. 22.3% got bored of everyone being the same as each other; because when everyone’s the same, no one is. 19.5% are tired of every other word out of Eren’s mouth being freedom, 16.4% want Levi to get an original thought, and 12.7% want Eren to shut up about his other catchphrase and just stay put for one second.

Muh ereh

I LOVE YOU EREN KEEP MOVING FORWARD 4EVER

"The dialogue between Jean, Reiner, and Connie couldn’t have been worse. It felt like a bunch of stock phrases, “we’re the same”, “traitor”, etc.

Can't remember who said this and where but Eren does love his friends, it's just that he only cares about their physical well-being. ""You are free to do as I see fit.""

Ereh: Reiner, I am the same as you. I know that my enemies are the same but I have no choice because Society™

Rainah: No, you are wrong. I had a choice, but I attacked the walls because I was selfish and because I wanted to.

Ereh: Damn bro, same. Time to commit war crimes!

Man, each time I feel like the 104 can't be more annoying... I can't stand their whining about ereh, how they don't wan't to kill him and that ereh is just misguided, let's talk, please come back uwu.

The forced ""We're the same"" bullshit is really getting on my nerves. Reiner broke a wall with the goal of committing a genocide against innocent civilians. Jean and Connie killed a few soldiers with the goal of STOPPING a genocide against innocent civilians. No, these actions are not the same, and I'm sick of Isayama trying to make us think that they are. Now, I can forgive it because it seems like he's just going for a "Jean, Connie and Reiner all murdered former comrades and are racked with guilt because of it" comparison, which I'm fine with, but we're on thin ice here with the moral reductionism.

"We're the same". I'm sorry, are they suggesting the 104th and Warriors are ANYTHING alike? the 104th are victims of circumstance who were forced to make terrible choices. The Warriors willingly slaughtered hundreds of thousands. The Warriors are horrendous monsters beyond redemption, and it's insulting of Connie to say they're the same as those inhuman creatures.

even tho I liked that Connie and Jean acknowledge their similarities with the Warriors, they are still not the same, the Warriors were brainwashed coerced children when they started their crimes, the 104th were adults in high positions when they killed innocents and they enabled Eren to do the Rumbling by ignoring the signs, while RBA almost from the start fought to prevent the Rumbling.

The chapter's named Sinners, Isayama called feeding a person to a titan a sin right as chapter 84 came out, and EAMJC killing Bert still hasn't been addressed under these circumstances? They're saying they are the same as the warriors which isn't true in any capacity and I hope they fall on their ass soon to realise they are not at all the same.

Eren saying freedom all the time has been cringe since the EMA table confrontation.

  WHAT WILL FALCO’S FLYING TITAN BE USED FOR? 1,335 responses

The most popular two options, at roughly a third each, are that Falco will come in clutch at the final battle, and that he’ll save them when the plane starts to falter.

Carrying the Eldian evacuees to safety but remember there are also Marleyans there. A titan saving Marleyans, by its own will, will all help for the final peace treaties  

Either taking Annie, Gabi, Yelena, and Kiyomi off the boat and picking up the Alliance in case the Flying Boat runs out of fuel at any point, or carrying the Eldians from Liberio to safety in case there are no airships left at Fort Salta to escort them.

What's the point of Annie going off if she's just going to join back a chapter later after more aruani flashbacks?

I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IN THAT

Eren is baiting him with that "scenery" because he needs to have the 9 titans to end the Ymir's curse

Fly gabi to the founding Titan to snipe eren

I get a feeling that he is the one who may inherit Eren's titans. What would be the point of giving him the titan powers, if he doesn't have any bigger role to play? Falco is somehow opposite to Eren, so if the power of the FT and AT are given to such pure boy like him, the future of the world might become brighter.

I thought the dialogue hinted more at Annie eating Falco's spinal fluid and gaining wings. Also I think it will be funny if Falco's memories are not from the previous Beast Titan but is actually the "Scenery" (it looks suspiciously similar)

Transporting Annie, Gabi and Falco where needed for the plot.

I wonder if Annie mentioning eating birds meant anything, or if it was just another poor attempt at humour by Isayama?

He'll transform thinking he can fly, find out he can't, the ship will sink and that's how Isayama will kill the characters on the ship

He'll fly far away on a different planet and start a new colony. Oh wait there is atmosphere. Whatever paths will lend him some cheat codes :P

  THE PLOT POINTS HINTED AT IN THIS CHAPTER HAVE SPARKED SOME BACKLASH. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EACH ONE?

So many revelations! The most controversial ones are Falco potentially becoming a flying titan, him getting Zeke’s memories, and the Female Titan powers; though more people are ok with each of these than not. Eren letting his friends continue to use titan powers, and the Beast Titan being multiple animals are the most accepted developments.

The idea of a flying titan is forceful and too convenient. I wonder how Isayama will draw it and not make it look like something odd.

The flying titan thing is the dumbest and most forced thing in snk I've seen. It feels like something from a fanfic and just seems so out of place. It's so sudden and forced. There are other things that seem really rushed in this chapter too. Like the bits about Annie's titan etc.

Lol at people calling anything about this “forced”. AoT fans pretend they’re a lot smarter than they actually are.

The stuff about Female titan and flying titans and memories being distributed was maybe a bit too conveniently delivered in the very end of the whole series, but tbh it's still plausible in-universe. I take it as a sign that Isayama knows what he wants and he wants to do the ending justice, not just get it out there as soon as possible with as little work as possible."

I'm glad the Falco can fly because it means the rest of the alliance can join the final battle and him flying was well built up. What I think should have been set up better is this power coming specifically from the Beast Titan. All past users we have seen of it was a monkey and we're just being told it could be other animals now?

some things (like zeke's beast memories, female titan abilities, flying titan, warrior families being alive) were so convenient, but I'm not too mad about it

Someone had thought about the beast titan animal theory before, since there was a giant horse at those old "paintings" that tell the story about eldia in marley's perspective, it is in chapter 87 i think, when grisha's parents are lecturing him.

The falco thing is too forced. The beast titan being any animal isn’t that forced but it should’ve been revealed waaay before, not in the same chapter as this whole falco flying thing.

I fully expected the Liberio Eldians to be alive, but was not expecting them to be en route to Fort Salta.

I don't like how plot convenient it is that the Eldian evacuees from Liberio are heading for Fort Salta just like Eren with his rumbling titans, the Alliance fighters on the flying boat, and now apparently the boat crew as well.

I always thought that suggested all the forms that titan could take. In retrospect it feels obvious -- Yams, you practically telegraphed that by naming the kid Falco in the first place.

What do you mean it's stupid that Galliard cured world hunger by creating bacon with his Titan form? His name is PORCO

since when could the Female Titan copy other powers? Did I just miss that? Because it just comes across as a convenient way to get Falco, Gabi, and Annie to the final battle.

annie will eat a boat and tranform into a boat titan AND KILL EREN WITH HER BOATNESS.

  WHICH TRAIN MOMENT DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST? 1,332 responses

After being implied in 125, we get to see the Liberio evacuees on the run. As set up in that chapter, 44.8% were most happy to see Mr. Leonhart continuing to be a boss, while 33.6% were most hyped for another great double spread of the rumbling, as we’ve gotten for the last 4 chapters. Mr. Finger and the Brauns' concern for the children came in after that, followed by Karina and the Grices.

Papa Leonhart is a true badass. It wasn’t said if Bertolt’s mother was still alive, and the lack of Galliard parents/zeke’s grandparents was interesting- how the only warrior/cadet families shown were ones with a child that the readers know is still living.

Go Mr Leonhart we stan

I can’t believe karina is still alive

While having all the warriors' family (expect for the Yeagers) be there is forced and not natural, I'm really hoping that Falco gets to reunite with his parents.  He's so precious that he deserves that.  If the other parents die then so be it as long as I can have a Grice family reunion.

The approaching rumbling has pretty much lost its impact as a visual image because Isayama has overused it to death.

I liked the new character in the train

This chapter was a beautiful demonstration that ANNIE GOT ALL HER GUTS FROM MR. LEONHART THAT BADASS JUST REFUSED TO DIE AND FORCED THE MARLEYAN SOLDIERS TO GET TO THAT TRAIN WHAT A LEGEND

  WILL THE BLIMP BOMBERS BE EFFECTIVE AT ALL? 1,348 responses

The chapter ended on the cliffhanger of the blimp bombers approaching Eren, but will it be worth the wait? The Majority, at about 75% think they will take out a few colossals but nothing to write home about, 19.7% think Eren will wipe them out without a second thought, and 5.6% think they will help deal a decisive blow.

I think The bombs on the plane , The colossal Titan nuke ability and the blimps won't do any kind of damage to Eren .

the blimps Will be destroyed by founding titan eren using his thorn on his spine

I'm itching to see eren finally take some sort of action against marley's bombers :D

I’m wondering if Isayama is going to flip the script a bit and showcase how the advancing technology is gaining the upper hand over titans, and cut Eren off in his tracks abruptly/make him change his tactic. Or, if it’ll just be the catalyst for the alliance to stop him after they witness it has no major affect on the titans.

I'm not sure about the direction of the final battle but everything's colliding at Fort Salta one way or another. I'm curious about this volume's cliffhanger."

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 855 responses

Continuing with the theme of underwhelming reception, the responses to this were, at least compared to others months’, very low in quantity and disparity between the top words. The 5 most chosen words for this chapter, quantity and average rating included, are:

Setup/Set-up [32 ; 3.91] Amazing [28 ; 4.79] Freedom [25 ; 4.20] Awesome [19 ; 4.84] Paths [19 ; 4.16]

Honorable mentions (because they all had the same or only one less amount of picks) include Ereh, Interesting, Great and Pain.

  WHAT CHAPTER DO YOU THINK THE MANGA WILL END AT? 1,337 responses

Since Isayama’s self-appointed deadline of 2020 likely failed to stick, we’ve decided to revive this monthly question. The last time we asked, the majority of respondents chose 138 as the final chapter, which remains the most popular option now, though now losing a majority (39.5%), with 140+ (20.9%) and 139 (21.3%) hot on its tail. Perhaps it has something to do with the shared opinion that this chapter is one of setup, but it’s safe to say most of us are unconvinced this is ending anytime soon.

I think that the manga will end at chapter 138 or 139, and so 133 has to be the last "transition" chapter before the climax (end of volume 33/beginning of the last volume)

I think the story is going to end either at 138 or 139.

it will be over in a few months and both like Eren and Yams, we will finally be free.

I just hope Iseyama doesn’t rush to end this before the end of the year. 138 is the minimum

Idc at this point i just want it to end now it feels like it's stalling

I CANT WAIT FOR CHAPTERS 134+ TO COME OUT

im sad its ending :(

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,366 responses

Wow this was close!! We have a lot of hopes for next month’s volume closer. Of the options we presented, “The alliance finally taking action against Eren” (23.1%), “ZOOK WHERE ARE YOU” (22.1%) and “I’m always down for more Eren Jaeger” (20.9%) created a tight three way race. Historia’s return to the story was a distant fourth (12%).

I'm really curious about Zeke's whereabouts, I'm sure he will play another big role from now on

I’m just confused about Eren’s motivations and desires at this point.

Love the thought of a flying titan

levi better kill zeke next chapter!!!

Pls bring back historia

I just want to see Historia. Please I miss her lesbian greatness. Please I'm tired.

Next chapter is gonna be crazy

where is monke??

Isayama has something up his sleeves and I’m scared for the next chapter lol

Just let Levi kill Zeke already

Kiyomi backstory when?

One thought, the same as after every chapter, who's gonna bite the dust next ?

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,274 responses

Reddit (41.3%) and Twitter (40.7%) remain the two most active platforms for fandom discussion, with Twitter stealthily creeping up on Reddit ever since we allowed multiple selections. Discord follows at (21.6%), with those lucky enough to talk about SnK in real life close behind (20.4%). Wherever you discuss the series we appreciate your support of the chapter poll! Even the Snapchatters.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 365 responses

WOW, something something the japanese fans are not happy copypasta

The rumbing started some time ago and our heroes should get hungry in a little bit, will they be able to call pizza? Or something? Because it'd be very sad if they had to die without dinner :(

If Falco's cloud memories end up being child-Eren's view from last chapter, that would be incredible. So many characters will seemingly play an important role now that I have no idea what will happen next.

Reiner keeps thinking that the dialogue is about their guilt and since they are the same, then Eren wants to kill himself. But one of Eren's main statements is that he keeps moving forward despite everything (and he thinks Reiner is the same). I think Reiner's ""Eren wants us to fight him because he wants to die"" will be proven wrong, and he'll come to the correct conclusion in the end.

it's frustrating seeing eren continue the rumbling for the sake of his friends when it's not what his friends want

It's good but it could freak me out

it's honestly making me feel more hopeless...

Connie Reiner conversation was perfect to bring up his late best friend Bertholdt, but I guess they forget again and pretend they never killed him brutally, and he just got thanosed one day lmao

i'm really enjoying annie's development. she's went from one of my least cared about characters to one of my favourites just from her development with armin and reiner alone. really looking forward to how isayama will finish her arc.

Eren is gonna be defeated by the power of friendship and the power of the scarf he gave to boring Mikasa and also by two kids who should honestly be dead by now but somehow are still alive in this mess anyways boring chapter i don’t care what happen anymore I just want to this to end

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a Falco should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The Falco, of course, flies anyway because Yams don't care what nerds think is impossible.

I don't mind the "inconsistencies", because most of what people are complaining about is just nitpicking that doesn't have much of anything to do with the story being told. I just hope that we're done with setup and can finally get to the final battle next chapter.

Everybody in this chapter was admitting their sins, but Bert still wasn't mentioned when so far he's the biggest elephant in the room when it comes to Reiner / AMJC. They watched Armin devour Bert and felt nothing about it, they participated in a terrorist attack against Liberio and threw a party instead/didn't protest against it, but the moment they betrayed their countries and slaughtered their comrades, suddenly they're evil sinners. It really feels iffy as shit.

Eren should finish what he started, I actually support him, I do understand his anger, his past anger, and everything that has been done to the Paradis Island. The only way to stop the exterior world’s way they think about them, is killing them all (or nearly), otherwise it’s never going to stop. It would be too much of a childish way of actually allowing the alliance to stop him knowing that he’s really REALLY powerful.

I don't get why people are having so much backlash about Eren allowing the Alliance to kill him, it's not a goad of "come get me", it would be hypocritical of him to take away their powers to stop him when he preaches about freedom, because then he'd just want PERSONAL freedom when want he truly wants it freedom for everybody especially Eldians.

@ isayama as a yumihisu shipper stop the Ymir smelling Historia's hair gag it isn't funny :/

I just think Eren doesn't detour from his character cause he's persistent on continuing the rumbling, having his own definition of freedom while he also doesn't take away his friends' power to fight him. It's just kinda frustrating that Eren is so blinded by his concept of freedom and chose this path.

People who think Eren will complete the rumbling are in heavy denial.

I kinda hope that we get to see Hizuru at least once. I also believe that Mikasa deserves to know the truth about her Ackerman blood and that it does not make her a slave in any way. More than anything though I just wanna see her character done justice in this final arc so that people will finally quit complaining about her always being "Eren-obsessed." She is without a doubt one of the most misunderstood characters in the entire series.

I liked the Paths stuff. But I'm bored of the cringe 104th, Isayama please give back Bertholdt I wanna see him, Paths is the perfect opportunity T-T

I maintain that Eren allowing his friends to fight him and potentially die because FREEDOM is fucking weird and OOC because he had no problem taking their freedom away in 112. He lied to their faces (same chapter he stated that ignorance=slavery) and locked them in prison. He also couldn't stand losing anyone close to him for most of the manga (serumbowl, hiding info about Historia, etc.), even if it went against Paradis, and so far nothing states that he suddenly and consciously changed his mind on that. If there is no explanation for his sudden change in behavior then parts of his character just went down the drain for the sake of covering up a plothole (that could easily be resolved by just saying that the founder can't control the shifters......)

I read some theories of Hange come back as a Titan Shifter. The parallel of both Ackermans put their fist on Eren and Hange before they died. Eren came back to life again as Attack Titan after that. There are also similarities between Hange and Xavier, both do research on titans, wearing glasses and I wonder if we would find out who is this person that Zeke could trust, as Xavier mentioned. We've seen Hange almost died 3 times, during the battle with Bertholdt and Reiner revelation, the crystal underground with Kenny's team and Bertbomb. Hange managed to come back again and again. Maybe I'm just being hopeful here (crying again) but I respect if Isayama sensei really killed Hange for good. But but but.. T^T

I'm beyond sick of the alliance. If they win at this point Isayama has officially destroyed his own manga.

No Hanji = nothing to smile neither to hope for in this chapter. I hate Eren for not even reacting to her death.

Isayama's doing a terrible job with the Alliance. I have many reasons to want the rumbling to be stopped, but if I forget for one second that Armin's my fave charac., I need to ask WTH?? Characters say one thing while the narrative says another. Yo, every damn chapter they've been feeling guilty and shitty, yet their constant regretting says they're good people. The heroic sacrifices say they're good people. The refusing to bring the kid although the kid can fckin fly says they're good people. This is more complex than calling an oldman with a career built in genocide HERO then calling these lost as fuck teens SINNERS. Repetition won't make me buy it. Btw, I'm not taking proJeCtiNg five chapters from the end. I refuse to believe these characters are at the same. damn. mindspace as 10 chapters ago. Nah. Losing or winning, this finale should feel dignifying, not pathetic. I'm desperate here. :(

I'm tired of Eren and the alliance. My feelings are with Levi's promise, nothing else. What comes after that (if Levi is able to kill Zeke) it would be interesting (and amazing, I'm sure) conceptually, I will love to read it, but my heart is with our midget. He deserves to rest.

Also Levi...I get why he's still ""muh kill monke"", it makes sense with his character... But that doesn't mean it's not annoying.

I REALLY enjoyed this one

Can't believe that flying titan was a sort of joke since the Marley arc, but now it's a thing uh.

More evidence that freckled Ymir may be alive.

where bert

where IS ZEKE

Where Monke?

Ymir distorting the space and keeping Mikasa, Armin, Connie and Jean away from Eren makes me think she's controlling him.

YOU ARE FREE

There was so much information given to us this chapter. The reveal of the possibility of Falco flying and the possible death of Zeke.

There were some alright points to this chapter but for the most point, it seemed like so many things were forced, the most ridiculous points of this chapter for me were the warrior families living, and Falco deciding he can fly simply because he had a dream

This chapter (like all the others and the others to come) made me cry. 😔

This chapter made sense. Too much sense. All the plot points we’d been expecting like Falco being able to fly, Eren bringing the alliance into Paths to tell them they have to kill him if they want to stop the rumbling, and the folks from Liberio surviving, were all present. I think Isayama is about to throw some wild curveballs and ruin our whole careers

Something's wrong with Eren

Thanks Isym for ruining Armin and make him Annie's waifu

Nice, a little boring but also not disappointed

The alliance was so annoying this chapter. Reiner projecting his pathetic suicidal thoughts into Eren was just absolute cringe. Then Jean and Connie actually saying they’re the same as the guys who killed their friends and families just made me damn near bust a vein. Then Pieck was just being a passive aggressive bitch. I was hoping that at least the 104th would make it out alive but now I straight up want Eren to kill them all. They’re just flat out insufferable, incompetent traitors at this point.

Pieck passive aggressively roasting Armin felt good

Levi is sexy take the bandages off his face and let me see the scar

Levi's really fed up. he doesn't care anymore about eren he just wanted to kill zeke. But I do agree that by killing Zeke, maybe the rumbling will end.

People thinking that Eren became a slave are speedreaders

For me, the Rumbling represents Eren’s own death drive. He’s killing others and wants do die in the process or afterwards. And his talk to the alliance is what his "if you don't fight you don't win" ideology boils down to. Blind, narrow-minded kid!Eren doesn't really see any other outcome other than him completing the Rumbling (aka "winning") or getting killed by his friends before he can complete it. I (heavily) suspect Isayama is going for a third option though.

This arc has highlighted Eren's internal contradictions regarding freedom. We have him forcing his friends to fight, imprisoning them, beating them, gaslighting them about their own free will, but most of all forcing the rumbling onto them, which completely takes away their agency to choose their own fate. I would be disappointed if Isayama has dropped this consistent pattern of Eren contradicting his own ideals of freedom, just to rectify his mistake of making Eren too overpowered due to rule of cool (something I initially feared), so I'm hoping the true reason has to do with Ymir taking the reins and speaking for Eren.

Eren can't help what he wants and believes in and he can't stop his convictions to move foreword, but at the same time he recognises his friends own free will and different convictions and has decided that both sides will never be able to give up their own convinces or meet at a middle ground and has decided to just let things play out.

Eren is resigned to his fate to rumble the world, but he will not command his friends to do anything. He is willing to die by their hands.    

Eren prizes freedom above all else. If someone uses their freedom to try to kill him, he wouldn't mind

Eren isn't sure if he's right so he wants them to have the chance to stop him if they feel so strongly

Sooo due to the Warhammer nutcracker incident, does that mean Falco has a portion of the Warhammer, or something?

Spectacular chapter completely closing the possibility of dialogue between Eren and Aliance. It's good to see that Eren remains firm with his actions and hasn't changed his psychology of freedom out of the blue. Although many people think that Eren wants to die, I'm sure that he will fight against the Alliance to survive and carry out his plan to destroy humanity.

Still a Beruani shipper...and...OMF ANNIE IS THE 2ND SASHA SHE WANTS TO EAT GIVE MY BABY FOOD

Still feels like buildup ready for the final showdown already

Telling the story as if the alliance stands a chance, or has anything close to a complete picture of Eren, is still dumb

historia pov when

Honestly I think everything about Annie is forced and she never should have come back.

Hope Jean survives 💯

Hope will reveal historia's baby connection to the series

I believe in Isayama

I believe that Annie got the ability to harden by eating part of Reiner, I think by revealing her ability yams intends to lay foundation for Annie getting wings as well and joining falco in the sky fuck ya

I hope Annie's father dies in front of her

I hope any inconsistencies in Eren's character get clarified later.

I hope more is discussed about Historias child

I hope My beloved Eren kills levi and armin

I just can’t wait a pray that MAPPA don’t fail us💀

I don't know man why the fuck does a flying titan exist

AC130 INBOUND, wait, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BIRD THING AND WHY DOES IT HAVE BOMBS IN ITS HANDS

Isayama is a hack

isayama never misses

isayama the goat, incredible as usual

[filmnoirsbian]

I just wanted to say that I saved your latest poem about the hungry dogs and trauma and I've read it miltiple times a day since you posted it bc....I'm pretty sure I have some trauma memories that I've repressed like I've been reading about them and there are some signs...I guess I'm just wondering ehat inspired that poem? It really means a lot to me thanks for writing it.

Hi honey, I'm glad you liked it, or at least that it did something for you. 💘

As for the inspiration, this is obviously going to touch on some traumatic things so I'm putting it under a read more just in case

Recently i reread It, and started thinking about how pennywise could have been the perfect metaphor for childhood trauma and how it and the damage it's dealt never truly leaves us, no matter how far we run physically or mentally. Our minds may repress the memories altogether, but the trauma must actually be confronted in order to be healed. (I say could have been because i think his turning out to be just an evil extraterrestrial weakened the strength of the metaphor) So then i started thinking about what monster metaphor i would use to visualize childhood trauma and specifically the webs our minds craft to try and process it. And i thought about how in my neighborhood, when i was a kid, there really was a sand lot where a real pack of angry, starving dogs lived. These were not friendly strays. They were ex fighting ring dogs, turned loose after their owner was arrested. They attacked my best friend, and he needed stitches in his face. These dogs terrorized me and the other neighborhood kids for 2 summers before animal control finally rounded up the last of them. (We never saw them much from October to March, but May through September they prowled our block pretty consistently). Those dogs were a very real source of fear for us, one which we could physically point out and explain. A fear that was understandable. Oh, you're scared of a pack of angry, bloodthirsty dogs that keep chasing and trying to bite you? Who wouldn't be? 

But me and my friends also all had quieter, more private sources of fear and trauma which we almost never talked about. My best friend, the one who needed stitches, was watching his house devolve into a drug den as each of his family members fell farther into addiction. Christina's step grandpa was sexually abusing her. The leaders of the group home where Jamal lived were starving the kids that stayed there. Alfredo's dad was a raging drunk. And i was being physically and emotionally abused by my mom. Ultimately, all of these things traumatized us far more than the neighborhood dogs, but the dogs were something safe for us to focus on. The dogs became the scapegoats for all our fear.

Beyond just the idea of childhood trauma, I'm interested in trauma memories and the repression of traumatic events by young, still developing minds that simply aren't equipped to proecess what happened/is happening. So it convinces us that something else happened. That it wasn't that bad. That we just shouldn't think about it. 

It took me many years to even understand that my mother was abusing me. At first, i assumed it was a recent development. I thought she didn't really start in until i was a teenager, because that’s when she started leaving marks. But then, over time, more and more memories began to trickle in like a leaky faucet. I couldn't turn them off. I'd remember how i got the scar on my knee when i was too little to understand. I'd remember how i used to have panic attacks at my elementary school whenever i got on the bus to go home to her. I'd remember how i used to hide whenever i heard her coming, because i never knew if she'd be in one of her moods. These fragments began to form a larger, damning picture; i have no memory of a time when my mother was not abusive. A lifetime of evidence, and still it took me into adulthood to unravel.

Now, because i was introduced to abuse and trauma at a very young age, i also began to repress at a very young age. I became very good at it. Convincing myself it wasn't that bad. Convincing myself it wasn't anything at all. Not thinking about it, until eventually, I'd just forget it happened. I did this with my mother's abuse. I did this with other things too.

Recently, my mental faucet has begun to leak again. I'm not sure if i subconsciously did something to prod at it, or if this is simply my brain's way of declaring that I'm now emotionally stable enough to process the truth. I'm starting to remember something that I'd managed to bury so deep, that I'd genuinely convinced myself I'd made it up. But, no matter how good at repression you become, the body always remembers. The fear response remains intact. It's survival instinct. It's why i had panic attacks at the thought of going home, even when i was sure that home was fine. It's why i still jump at the sound of a key in the door, fighting back that initial response to go hide under my bed like a little girl. It's why, I'm now starting to understand, i feel nauseous every time i see slatted closet doors. I never knew why, before. I'd forgotten, but my body hadn't.

So: hungry dogs. The things our minds convince us to survive. The way we cause the gas lights to flicker ourselves, without realizing it. The memory of the body, outside the rest. Ultimately, i mean for this to be my October writing project. A group of children are terrorized by hungry dogs, which may or may not be real. Beyond each dog lays very real trauma, which may or may not be remembered and realized for what it is. And then the question we're always left with; how do we break the cycle? How do we heal?

I wish you the best 💝

[toysoldiers-rwby]

[CS] 4. Duty

4. Duty

Cutting Strings

Characters: Penny, Winter, Xanthic Word Count: 8k

If robots are just tools…

Read on Ao3

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Primary Function: Protector  

Penny learned many things during her few short hours outside her father’s facility. Those with familiar background and status gravitate towards each other. Penny suppose the human variable meant different was of understanding the world. Same behaviors and actions can be used to express different emotions, particularly when people whisper under their breath and avoid looking at others.  

Though Penny still had a difficulty figuring out how May and Winter communicated with just looks. Even sign language used an actual method of communication.  

So far the Military Event was the best day of her excistance. Her true first day out in the world! She got to learn more about her future teammate and possibly made two new friends, Winter Schnee and May Marigold. But… It was odd, that the best day of her excistense could affect someone that was not present.  

Penny was starting to understand how powerful the gaze was.  

She sat at the facility’s kitchen table, head casted down and hands intertwined in her lap. She ignored the slamming keys and hard-light screens. Across from her, Ashley Xanthic furiously typed lines of code. The hacker would run simulation after simulation, until the checks ran red and continued working. Bit by bit, she hacked into Atlas’ network, byte by byte Penny Polendina was becoming an official citizen of Atlas.  

Ironwood wanted her to supervise the hacker. Something that required closer observation but Penny didn’t want upset Ms. Xanthic anymore. She sighed quietly, squeezing her hands. She wasn’t doing a very good job…  

“What’s the point in running the Kingdom if you can’t cut corners?” Xanthic growled to herself. Penny spared a glance up. Her future teammate took a break to sip her coffee but her head just kept tilting back and back before she just groaned into an empty cup.  

“It’s to prevent-”  

“Abuse of power, total dictator ship,” Xanthic droned. She put her cup down, looking at Penny through the gasps of her hard-light screens. "But here I am, in a secure military facility, hacking into Atlas Security with resources the General provided."  

If the public found out General Ironwood manipulated the system, he would be stripped of both his council seats. If the public found out a hacker had done it, the consequences wouldn’t be as dire. Still the General must have other reasons for using her as a scapegoat.  

Penny looked at her hands again, “He cannot make such quick changes legally, the process would take too long. Everything has been signed and approved-”  

“Of course,” Xanthic snorted. After hours of working, the hacker finally stood up. In a few short strides she was at Penny’s side, boxing her into the chair with slender arms. Penny knew Xanthic wasn’t fit, wasn’t a fighter. Her hands weren’t calloused like Aro’s but steady, soft, and precise. Penny could easily win but somehow she felt small and weak under that white burning glare.  

Staring into eyes that were so similiar to her own… but so full of resentment was not pleasent.  

"So why would the General," Xanthic hissed the title out like venom, “Need me to skip the queue?”  

“And why should we tell a criminal, one caught red handed by General Ironwood himself.”  

“Winter!” Penny gasped, hydraulics in her back straightening her posture. The specialist’s voice alone lifted her Aura, but seeing Winter glower back at Xanthic corrected any insecurities the hacker caused. “What are you doing here?”  

“I don’t resume my duties till tomorrow,” Winter said, eyes closed and shoulders tensing for a moment. Xanthic sneered. Penny ignored it because Winter refused to acknowledge the hacker. “I did offer you a tour of Atlas Academy.”  

“How about you don’t make my job harder?” Xanthic asked throwing up her hands. She walked to the fridge, making sure to brush against Winter so the Specialist was forced to acknowledge her. Xan was shorter, but somehow she seemed to have just as strong of a presense. “Marigold gets a pass but you and Glade are aware of the consequences that comes with fame. You really think people wouldn’t look up the mysterious ginger? She is a ginger right?”  

“Penny did not disclose her identity until after we witnesses saw us together,” Winter said with an annoyed sigh.  

“Now you know. Yet you still insist on parading her around?” Xanthic reason. She crossed her arms and glared threateningly at one of the best Huntresses in Atlas. Both women were too busy posturing and trying to intimidate each other to see Penny shrink ever so slightly. She quickly straightened out again when Xanthic lost with an infuriating sigh. “Seriously. Please don’t make my job harder than it is.”  

“Penny’s cover is already ruined, what else would hinder your task?”  

“Research,” Xanthic said opening the fridge. She frowned and gave Penny a disapproving look. “It’s practically empty. Is that why you’re all skin and bones?”  

“I’m not skin and bones…” Penny mumbled under her breath. It felt… bittersweet, a small victory in admitting what she is but what was the point if they didn’t understand it? Predictably Xanthic didn’t believe her. The hacker rolled her cybernetic eyes and peeked into the freezer next.  

“Neopolitan ice cream. I can forgive the lack of food,” she said with a small smile. Penny added the favorite flavor to Xanthic’s notes. “I can do what Ironwood-”  

“General Ironwood.” Winter corrected.  

Xanthic continued without any acknowledgement, “Told me to do, get the legal documents into the system or I can do a good job and actually leave some breadcrumbs for people to find.”  

“Breadcrumbs?” Penny asked.  

“According to Ironwood,” Xanthic started, ignoring the way Winter’s hand twitched in frustration. She looked for cups and spoons. “You’re another SDC orphan.” At that Winter’s composition changed, for a split second she looked guilty. Guilty and sad over a lie. Penny sealed her lips tight and looked down at her hands. She wasn’t lying but her Aura still flared across her system. “I’m editing old security photos and videos too hide a very obscure Penny in it. So it doesn’t look like she just magically appeared out of nowhere.” The hacker finished, looking at Winter. There was a shift between them… Xan’s voice barely audiable to Penny’s sensitive eqiupment, “We don’t want a repeat of last time…”"  

The Specialist hummed, eyes glaring in Xanthic’s direction but not really focused on her until whatever thought left Winter’s mind, “Very well. I’ll inform General Ironwood.”  

“Unnecessary but it’s your energy to waste,” Xanthic said waving her hand. She sat back down in front of her temporary workstation and went back to writing lines of codes.  

“Waste of…” Winter paused, practically growling under her breath. No sound came out but with her facial expression, Penny practically heard it. “And what would be an optimal use of my energy?”  

Xanthic pointedly looked at the near empty fridge. Dr. Pietro’s facility was locked down durng P.E.N.N.Y’s finalization process. There was no reason to stock so much food in the recreational kitchen.  

“I am not doing your grocery shopping!”  

“I’m under house arrest!” Xanthic threw up her arms. Around both wrist was a bracelet with gravity and lighting Dust built in. Once activated it would pin her arms together or send a volt of electricity. Ideally non-lethal. "And I’m gonna be here for at least three days."  

“I’m sure the General wouldn’t mind if we accompany you.” Penny said quietly. The two barely stopped from yelling at each other and looked at her. “The Ace-Ops rudely escorted you here from you’re home. I didn’t see any bags either… so…” Luckily Xanthic was dressed for the day… still dressed from the previous day. Under Xanthic’s unblinking cybernetic eyes Penny’s confidence waned.  

Winter took a deep breath, a finger on her temple. Penny stared, wishing she would unclenched her jaw instead. “Was it Herriet and Elm? Those two are quick and rash.”  

“Herriet and Vine, actually.” Penny said.  

“Figures. Vine has always been to the letter,” The Specialist started to walk down into the living room, “I’ll contact General Ironwood and request your cuffs be synced with my Scroll.”  

“Oh how kind! Ms. Schnee and her girlfriend taking me out for a walk. May I have a treat Mistress?” The hacker asked, her monotone voice alive with sarcasm. She even struck a pose along with batting long eyelashes. Perhaps it would be more effective if her makeup wasn’t so intimidating.  

Winter scowled and the two Atlas elites stared at each other for a minute. The silent challenged ended in a draw, they broth broke eye contact with Winter taking a seat and closing her Scroll. Within a few minutes Xanthic had finished her ice cream and checked the fridge again. With a some excessive force, Xanthic shut the fridge and continued working. Penny watched her hit the backspace more than she should.  

“Alright!” Xanthic yelled, ten minutes later. “I’ll play… nicer than usual.”  

Winter looked too dignified and controlled to smirk but the air around her was far too smug. Maybe it was the lack of reaction that held superiority? Whatever it was it annoyed Xanthic and puzzled Penny.  

The call only took a few minutes. Winter returned to the kitchen and held her Scroll to the gravity cuffs around the hacker’s wrist. It beeped twice, the cuffs flashing green. Outside an unmarked car pulled up. Once Winter opened the door Xanthic’s attitude resurfaced.  

“Are you fucking serious?” She asked staring at the front seat. Their transport was being driven by an AK-200. “I’d like to live.”  

“I’ll drive if you’ll shut up,” It seemed the Specialist was nearing her limit.  

“Again, I’d like to live.”  

“They aren’t that bad,” Penny reasoned softly. She physically stepped between them, even if they could clearly see above her head. That chip of insecurity wedged into her a little. Winter’s patient gaze gave her the strength to continue with a straight spin and even voice, “Safe driving is within their capabilities.”  

“Hm… fine,” Xanthic huffed crossing her arms. “I suppose three VIPs dying will finally help people realize these things are horrible.” Winter quickly got into the car, hiding her face but the door slammed with enough force to shake their transport. Xanthic sneered, a small victory. It would take more than a simple crash to harm a huntress… but her future teammate was a civilian.  

“How terrifying is it to live without a protective Aura?” Penny asked following Xanthic in. This time Xanthic glared at her while Winter sneered. Penny merely tilted her head in confusion, staring at the hacker for an answer.  

“You and fucking Glade,” Xanthic muttered. She looked out the window and the car was relatively silent as Penny tried to figure out how she insulted her future teammate.  

Their first stop was Xanthic’s house. It was big enough for a family and gated, Penny could see some trees growing in the backyard and a garden being tended too by a robot and two Ace-Op members. Before the gate could close behind them, Xanthic swung the door open and jumped out of the slow moving vehicle. Winter was quickly to follow so Penny felt compelled to do the same, even if her steps weren’t a confident march like Winter.  

“Welcome back, Lady Xanthic.” The robot gardener greeted with a bow. “May we prepare a meal for you and your guest?” Xanthic ignored it, pointing a finger at Clover then Marrow. Rude, Penny frowned looking at the robot. It didn’t seem to mind…  

“What the fuck are you two doing here?”  

“I could ask you the same question,” Clover said. His eyes gently swept to Winter and momentarily lingered on Penny. She ducked her head, eyes on the ground and stepping behind her Specialist. “But knowing Schnee, it’s classified.” He smiled but it wasn’t directed at Winter. Her professional mask didn’t recuperate any friendliness but the lack of a negative response was approval, in a way.  

“We’re ensuring you don’t escape a previously hacked into facility, pack your things, and run off,” Marrow answered. By Xanthic’s scowl and huff at a proper answer, the question must have been rhetorical. Penny was realizing most of her questions weren’t actually questions. Marrow plucked an apple from the robot gardener’s basket and took a bite. He hummed at the taste. “Oh and wonderful place! Very hermit and simple.”  

“The singular word would be self-sustaining,” Xanthic growled arms crossed. She finally looked at her butler. It was a different model than the one Penny first saw, smooth and curved, the design and cut in the chassis flowing almost gentlly. “Pack all the leftovers and anything you can prepare in 10 minutes. Not staying long.”  

“Understood, Lady Xanthic.” The gardenerbot bowed a little, then knelt back down and resume working on the garden. Through the window Penny saw two more robots walk into the kitchen. The robot did use we when addressing Xanthic, the robot’s AI must share a network, a hivemind. One of the butlers was definitely the model Penny saw driving the night they first met. Sharp edges, thick layered metal plates, intimidating faceplate, a bodyguard?  

Marrow whistled, “Impressive. For a criminal.”  

“Standard. For a genius.” Xanthic scoffed walking to the front door. She pressed her Scroll to the lock and it slide open. When Marrow moved to follow Clover stopped him.  

“You heard the bots, we can enter the yard but not the house. Until we have a warrant, they are authorized to open fire under the Home Defense Clause.”  

Xanthic chuckled softly, “Good Bobs.”  

“Thank you, Lady Xanthic.” Her butler chirped. Penny frowned staring at it before following Winter. The synthetic voice was flat, could almost past as human if Xanthic wanted it too.  

“Man… how does manage to show us up on her day off?” Marrow mumbled walking to Clover. “And the girl?”  

“Classified,” Winter called over her shoulder. Marrow yelped, a little surprised his loud voice carried that far.  

The first thing Penny’s sensors detected was an increase of temperature. Once she entered Xanthic’s home she understood why. Servers and machines lined the walls, countless of physical monitors mounted onto a surface and displaying news channels across the world. Others had lines of code or blueprints, one monitor occasionally flashed red and ‘Simulation Error. Project: BILLY unable to sync’.  

Xanthic stared at it but glanced at Winter. The Specialist glanced around the room for any weapon, then trained her eyes on the hacker. Xanthic grumbled, walking into the kitchen and sitting at the table. Like Aro’s home there was small electrical components and tools, but only one.  

A broken robot that looked like a ram laid on the table, small enough to fit in a pocket.  

Penny sat down and slowly reached for it. “May I?”  

“I can’t exactly stop you.” Xanthic barked. Penny flinched and recoiled. Xanthic sighed, “Right, I’m suppose to play nice… Yeah go ahead.” Slowly Penny scooped up the broken bits of metal and wire. Cradling it. “It was meant to be a monitoring bot.”  

“You mean spy?”  

“I mean as in a kid’s pet. The current cybernetic pets haven’t been changed in half a decade. It’s boring.”  

“… But a goat?” Winter asked with a raised brow.  

Xan smirked, “Greatest Of All Time.” This time Winter did let out a visible display of distain, along with… some surprise? Penny giggled at the light flush across her face.  

She politely decline the food the serverbots offered. Winter accepted a smaller portion while Xanthic scarfed it down. They continued their neutral banter for a few minute, talking about mundane robots walking around Atlas. Penny tried to focus all her processing power into examining the broken robot, but she kept focusing in on Winter’s voice.  

They were objects, they were supposed to be weapons. Xanthic scoffed and argued, they were flexible tools, with familial potential. The two agreed that robots were things but not on the functions. Penny’s function was to protect, she was a weapon. She was her father’s daughter, family… Her Aura stirred throughout her systems, sinking and sinking like it was trying to unplug her power unit.  

In her palm was a pet… “May I have this?” Penny asked.  

Xanthic looked at her through the glass of her cup and finished inhaling her water. “Sure. I doubt I’ll be able to work on any of my personal stuff now.” She held up her wrist, cuffs shining in the sun.  

The hacker spent the remainder of the 10 minutes packing some clothes and books. Winter looked through both, packing it even neater than Xanthic originally had it.  

The trip for groceries was short and uneventful now that Xanthic was cooperating. Penny almost missed her antagonism. It was entertaining, Penny found herself fiddling with the broken bot, thoughts drifting. The future members of APCX were quiet. Winter had her usual professionalism on but every so often worry would break though when she looked at Penny.  

Robots were tools, not meant to function outside their purpose. According to General Ironwood, she was a protector. According to her father-  

“I lied.” Xanthic said suddenly. Her volume was neutral but after a car ride with soft music it was an abrupt cut in Penny’s thoughts.  

“Surprising.” Winter sneered. It wasn’t as hostile as it was earlier but not as playful as with May or Aro.  

“Me and Glade have… history. That was supposed to be a gift.”  

“Really?” Penny asked. Winter held her Scroll to the facility’s front door and escorted the two VIP’s back to the recreation quarters. “I checked Aro’s files. There was some inconsistences during her internship with my father.”  

“I’ll have to fix that later then.” They were in the same environment nearly five years ago. That was enough confirmation for Penny. She helped Winter put away the food and memorized what they bought. Penny doesn’t eat, Winter isn’t a frequent visitor- though Penny hope that is going to change, so everything is Xanthic’s. She noted a surprising amount of sweets, either mint chocolate or some kind of strawberry flavor. She favored salt and vinegar snacks. The meals her butlerbots packaged was well balanced, most things fresh from her gardens.  

Winter synced the hacker’s cuffs back to the recreational area. Penny pulled the remains of the robot from her pocket… and stared at it. If weapon can’t be intimate with people, what does her time at the Military Event classify as?  

“Penny?” She heard Winter’s whisper shortly before registering a light pressure on her shoulder. She almost jumped. Her Aura ramped her system, nearly triggering a fight response. With concentration Penny was able to calmly look up at the Specialist. “Are you alright? Did the crowds at the store bother you?”  

“No…” It was her and the hacker that troubled Penny. “I’m-” fine. The words stopped in her synthetic vocals. She could feel her Aura swirl in her chest at the lie. “Just thinking. I’m going to gather some tools and materials for this little…”  

“Billy. I’ll send you the software after you fix it.” Xanthic said.  

Penny quickly excited the room, Winter’s hand just hovering there for a few seconds before Penny turned the corner and lost visual of both of them. Weapons can’t be friends. Penny shrank in, hands squeezing tighter and tighter. She ignored the warnings and only focused on the wires tightening in her chest.  

Then the squeezing gave way.  

Six days since her last artificial skin tear, rest to zero.  

Her room was simple, very similar to the workshop back in Atlas Academy. No bed, only an examination table with mechanical arms for maintenance. The drawers were full of tools, parts, or accessories. Things that was on the workbench for weapons. People did not wear artificial skin. The tear was easy to repair, thin layer of sillicone and wires around her index finger was torn clean off.  

A light knock on her door made Penny jump. Xanthic would be stuck in the recreational area, trying to leave would meant a painful shock. Winter… she was Ironwood’s second-in-command, she may have access to most of the facility but-  

Another knock.  

“Y- Yes?” She called out. To her surprised and relief her father opened the door. “You… knocked?”  

“Winter fetched me, told me that you seemed upset,” Dr. Pietro said. His chair slowly walked forward, as if ready to turn on a moment’s notice. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted privacy or not.”  

“Ms. Xanthic is restricted to the living quarters of this facility. Winter would be authorized entrance if allowed here,” Penny said. Pricacy was a human concept. She wasn’t… “My privacy is unnecessary.”  

“That does’t mean you can’t want it,” Dr. Pietro said gently. He looked at Penny’s hands and took a breath. Concern, worry, love. Emotions meant for people. It was easy to read these emotions from her father, yet somehow tiring.  

She was tired of seeing him worry.  

“I’m sorry,” Penny mumbled.  

“Maybe this entire Vytal Festival is a bad idea…” For once, Dr. Pietro’s voice was stern. It wasn’t hard like how the General’s could get but it was so odd hearing him frustrated.  

“No!” Penny yelled. She gasped at her own volume. Dr. Pietro jumped in surprised but he didn’t look mad. In fact he nodded and encouraged Penny to continue. “I want to fight! I want to see Vale.” And after the stories Aro told them during the Military Show, Penny wanted to see Minangire. May told stories about the mountains in Minstral and Winter balked at the heat in Vacuo. She wanted to see the world. Her simulations programs were the most accurate ones developed but nothing compared her own experience.  

Her father looked concern again and Penny made a noise. It was a reflex she hadn’t perform before, that hum of frustration May did so much. Her father looked shocked but smiled and laugh.  

“I’ve never seen you pout before. My, my, one day and you’ve learn so much already,” He said patting Penny’s hand. “And that’s really the General decision to make. And I doubt he’s changing his mind.”  

Penny let him repair the tear in the artificial skin. She made sure to watch, wanting to cherish the moment just as the others cherished their visits to other kingdoms. A moment that was truly hers and not programed into her. A special gel will act as a conduit for the wires and adhesive for the silicone. His hands went to work soothing everything back in place, encouraging the material to bound in a way that wouldn’t leave a mark.  

“I will always worry, my dear,” Dr. Pietro said. “I know you are fully capable of taking care of yourself, but it’s just what fathers do.” The word stirred in Penny’s processors, she hoped it would stick. After all, weapons didn’t have fathers.  

“Then… what do daughters do?”  

Whatever Dr. Pietro had to say wasn’t fully vocalized. Instead the smile dropped for a moment and he sighed. “That depends on the girl,” Dr. Pietro said, “Specialist Schnee chose to leave her family… Family company to protect others.”  

“And… Ms. Xanthic?”  

Dr. Pietro raised a brow, “I think it’d be best if you asked her yourself.”  

Penny flinched at the thought. There was a 2% chance of a pleasant conversation. 95% chance Xanthic would yell at her. Penny left the remaining 3% as open-to-human-nature.  

“I… suppose,” She grumbled. There was a 100% chance of avoiding confrontation with Xanthic if she did not ask.  

Primary Function: Protector Daughter

[luckcycler]

hi! i know you have a info page (or whatever it's called) for your characters butt doesnt work on mobile? anyways i wanted ask if you could tell me what ultimate talents they have?

Huh…

Not sure how invested you are with how you phrased your question but I just copy-pasted all the info on this ask.

I’ll put it under read more because otherwise, it will be super long

Basic info:

Heartbreak is a story of 16 former students of Hope’s Peak Academy who have found themselves locked in the bizarre setting of a love hotel. And thus, a new exciting killing game takes place once again!

As the concepts of guilt and justification clash together inside the sickeningly pink walls of the hotel, one starts to wonder who exactly is the morally righteous one?

And to shake things up… a new rule has been added to the monopad.

The cast:

Aino Inoue

Former Ultimate Mermaid

Age: 20

Class:75-B

Blood type: O

Likes: Long Walks on the Beach, Astrology

Dislikes: Sand

It’s time for opinions! Meaning opinions from this woman! This is Aino Inoue, the ultimate mermaid! Or more precisely a professional underwater mermaid actress. It appears childhood career dreams do come true! She became a very known underwater actress for her infectious charm and her ability to stay underwater for 9 minutes without breathing.

Her attitude towards others is very straightforward but that doesn’t mean she is unfriendly, actually quite the opposite and especially if she is under the liquid courage. What’s personal space? She certainly doesn’t know.

Aino is a very nosy person and loves to give relationship advice to other people, even when these other people really don’t want it. It doesn’t help that quite a lot of these advices come from her obsession with astrology and blood type personality theory.

She can also be seen more often than not with a cocktail in hand to a point her constant state of tipsiness worries some of the others. In Aino’s opinion, it just makes her twice as fun!

Daisuke Okamoto

Former Ultimate Robot Combat Champion

Birthday: May 25th

Age: 19

Class: 76-B

Blood type: B

Likes: Logic Puzzles, Memes

Dislikes: Raisins in Bread, Academic writing

Here comes the local memester! Daisuke Okamoto is the current robot combat champion. But despite his promising career path in the art of mauling battle robots and much to everyone’s bafflement. After his time in Hope’s Peak, he went to study engineering at his local university. He refuses to tell why he had such a change of heart even when he still regularly competes.

Daisuke is a second-generation immigrant with his mother being American and father being Japanese. Because of this, his sense of humor is influenced a lot by western internet culture. He tends to joke around a lot giving him a carefree attitude. He loves to entertain, although in serious situations his joking nature can come off as insensitive.

But under all the jokes and terribly outdated meme’s, he is very intelligent and a hard realist who wants to know every detail of the rules and isn’t afraid to ask them from Monokuma.

Gina Higanbana

Former Ultimate Biochemist

Birthday: October 31st

Age: 23

Class: 72-A

Blood type: B

Likes: Poetry, Family

Dislikes: Frankenstein (Story), Sour Plums

Speaking of eccentric mad scientists! Gina Higanbana, the ultimate biochemist is the sort of person who definitely befriended every monster under her bed when she was young. Gina is a boisterous workaholic which has paid off since she is known most for her study of parabiosis. Unfortunately, not all of her fame is from positive feedback, as some of her testing methods have been found very unorthodox…

Gina presents herself as larger than life, after all, she is a woman of science! Though she delves with modern problems, her way of talking is very old fashioned, and even poetic, making her sound like she would fit right into a 19th-century romance novel.  

While being a semi loud presence to the group, Gina tends to withdraw to her own space and has trouble talking about subjects outside of her interests. But when it comes to teaching neighbor kids how to turn a volcano eruption experiment into a baking soda canon, she is the right person to tag along.

Hotaka Muramaru

Former Ultimate Florist

Birthday: January 27th

Age: 22

Class: 73-B

Blood type: A

Likes: Frogs, Bellflowers

Dislikes: Kiwa Fukuda

Hotaka Muramaru, the former ultimate florist… Well, a former florist, really. He isn’t doing too hot in his life at this moment. These days he mainly does gardening work around his area. It is unfortunate as he was known for his striking floral arrangements and attention to small details before his family’s flower shop business went down.

Hotaka as a person is very forgiving by nature. He doesn’t like causing conflicts and it is very hard to get him angry. Despite these positive traits, he seems to be nice for the sake of being nice which makes it hard to get close to him in a way that matters outside of everyday small talk. It seems preserving what little image he has left is more important to him. This has also made him quite the perfectionist.

Kana Nakano

Former Ultimate Lifeguard

Birthday: May 2nd

Age: 25

Class: 70-A

Blood type: O

Likes: Children, Geocaching 

Dislikes: Spontaneous Plans

Kana Nakano, the ultimate lifeguard is very passionate about her job. She is the mom friend of the group you know you can always rely on in any hardships, niche killing games included.  She has become a very popular lifeguard at her local kids’ poolside as she has a knack for talking to children. Though because of this her way of talking can sound very condescending when speaking to other adults. She tends to simplify her words and soften the meaning much to some of the group’s irritation.

As a person, she can also be very stubborn until she meets her goal. If nothing else, she makes a great leader figure with a lot of survival abilities and experience in tough situations.

Katsurou Furusawa

Former Ultimate Hunter

Birthday: September 5th

Age: 23

Class: 72-A

Blood type: A

Likes: Sewing, Peace and Quiet

Dislikes: Wet Socks, Attention

This timid yet patient boy who looks like he just crawled out of a swamp is Katsurou Furusawa. Though he doesn’t like talking about his talent that much, he is known as the ultimate hunter. He got his title for his exceptional trap making skills and the ability to stay unmoving for hours to no end, blending to his environments seamlessly, and waiting for a pray to trigger his traps.

Personality-wise, Katsurou is bashful and likes to talk to himself rather than others. He has a tendency to be a people pleaser, disregarding his own beliefs and feelings on topics just to appease both sides of the argument. He was never a problem child, as he has always done what his parents told him to. Even accepting the invitation to Hope’s Peak was not his idea.

Katsurou is also a huge daydreamer. He seems to be more comfortable with the world inside his head than the real world, and it shows.

Kiwa Fukuda

Former Ultimate Scapegoat

Birthday: December 31st

Age: 23

Class: 72-B

Blood type: AB

Likes: Citrus Fruits, Tacky Decorations

Dislikes: Paper Cuts

Though she looks quite sporty, her talent is far from a healthy career. This awkward and accident-prone woman is Kiwa Fukuda, our protagonist. Unfortunately to some, she is known as the ultimate scapegoat, though this information is confidential especially in court. Her line of work is basically taking the fall for a singular person’s or even a whole company’s mistakes. If that’s not deemed realistic, she will direct the fault towards a more suitable candidate. The amount of guilt Kiwa’s work as a scapegoat leaves her with has made her desensitized and apathetic towards others.

Personality-wise, Kiwa is laidback and can come off as an airhead thanks to her apathetic demeanor towards their current situation. She tends to joke about terrible subjects that make people around her a bit uncomfortable to say the least.

Kiwa is also clumsy and tends to get involved in accidents without trying to. Be it an injury, a misunderstanding or a terrible accident, it’s easy to assume she always has something to do with it whether it was her fault or not. Kiwa now wears a bicycle helmet all the time to make sure she won’t get a third fracture on her skull.

Kohaku Iwatomi

Former Ultimate Gemologist

Birthday: June 4th

Age: 19

Class: 76-B

Blood type: O

Likes: Shiny Things, DIY

Dislikes: Loneliness

This is Kohaku Iwatomi and he is happily ready to talk your ears off! Kohaku is known as the ultimate gemologist, mainly because he changes his specialty in gemology quite often, always wanting to try out something new. He seems to excel in all the areas he has tried out so far through pure dedication and excitement towards his profession. Though, for some reason, he has been working as a gem appraiser in his local pawnshop for longer than his peers thought he would withstand to.

Kohaku is a very cheery young man who loves to mingle no matter the topic. If you know him, you probably know his whole life story. He doesn’t like silence, nor does he bode well if left alone for too long. He isn’t narcissistic though as he is very empathetic and wears his emotions on his sleeve, he just really likes company and he has so much information to share with everyone!

Kohaku also has a liking towards thrift shop clothes and DIY projects hence his striking and pretty mismatched appearance.

Masami Kiyokane

Former Ultimate Croupier

Birthday: July 17th

Age: 22

Class: 73-A

Blood type: O

Likes: Board Games, Philosophy of Ethics

Dislikes: Alcohol

As if there were not enough party poopers in this group… This is Masami Kiyokane and he is known as the ultimate croupier. He got his title through diligent croupier work at organized events and after coming of age, at established casinos. Masami also has gotten quite good at seeing who is cheating and he knows most card games by heart. He seems fascinated by game rules in general.

Masami’s personality is pretty uptight and passive-aggressive. His way of talking tends to be a colorful use of personification, especially when he is going on a tangent and complaining about something. Though he talks big, very rarely is his bite worse than his bark as he mutters under his breath before admitting he is in the wrong.

Masami has a very strong moral system he believes in. His rather judgmental attitude is unusual for someone who has a hobby of learning about ethical philosophy though and often he gets called a hypocrite for playing favorites. He is not very happy about that.

Mei Kaneko

Ultimate Phonologist

Birthday: March 21st

Age: 18

Class: 77-A

Blood type: B

Likes: Corvidae, Accents

Dislikes: Wasting Time

This young girl is Mei Kaneko. She is the youngest of the group as she is the only one still studying in Hope’s Peak. She should be set to graduate soon and she is more than excited to continue with her dreams towards a real working life as the ultimate Phonologist!

Personality-wise, Mei is very energetic and will give her all to any task at hand. She is also very loud and a bit of a daredevil. If you tell her to not push the red button, she will definitely push the red button.

Growing up, Mei’s neighborhood had always been surrounded by corvids. As she slowly got more familiar with them, she developed a fascination towards the crows that kept playing in her backyard. Mei had been studying dialects and languages since she was little thanks to her bilingual home and decided, quite abruptly, that her life work from then on would have to deal with establishing communication with corvids.

Nori Ikari

Former Ultimate Sailor

Birthday: December 8th

Age: 20 (?)

Class: 75-A

Blood type: AB

Likes: Folk Tales, Making Rope Knots

Dislikes: His Knee Brace

This theatrically boisterous man is Nori Ikari, the ultimate sailor. Believe it or not, he is as young as 20 years old, which has led some of the group to believe he is a vampire in disguise. Nori comes from a vast lineage of sailors of different ranks but all just as proud seafarers! Nori got his title as the ultimate sailor after recklessly making a week-long fishing trip alone in a trawler boat made for a crew of 10.

Nori tends to tell long tales of his ancestors which sound just bizarre enough that no one is quite sure if Nori is speaking the truth or not. To be honest, everything he says just sounds downright like a big fish story all the way down to his accent. Is this man real? No one has a good answer to that.

Personality-wise Nori can be pretty intense. He has a habit of making a bigger deal out of very normal things. Nori values honor and traditions and tends to get quite defensive if his integrity is challenged. And if needed, he might challenge you to a sword fight at a parking lot if he deems you need a fair ass kicking.

Okemia Momose

Former Ultimate Opera Singer

Birthday: March 10th

Age: 24

Class: 71-B

Blood type: A

Likes: Vintage Aesthetic, Home

Dislikes: Hope’s Peak, Luck

This nervous woman is Okemia Momose. It’s been a while since people have heard her sing, but she is still regarded as the ultimate opera singer. She got her title for her incredible range and her ability to hold a note for almost half a minute.

Nowadays though, her fame is shadowed by a traumatic event she went through in one of her performances. She was one of the performers at her local opera house which was run by a Yakuza family. However, there was a very strained turf war going on around the area that one day resulted in a shoot out at the opera house. Unfortunately to Okemia, she got caught in the crossfire and a bullet hit her temple. Though she survived, she got inflicted irredeemable damage to her brain which developed into a stutter.

Despite her towering over everyone with her height of a 6’5 feet, she is not very confident in herself. Okemia is a very high-strung person who tends to think the worst possible thing will definitely happen to her. Though she is nervous she has a lot of resentful opinions that are made from wise words

Shion Arai

Former Ultimate Figure Skater

Birthday: July 23rd

Age: 21

Class:  74-B

Blood type: B

Likes: Rhinestones, Straightforwardness

Dislikes: Cleaning, Bootlickers, Mornings

This person here is Shion Arai the ultimate figure skater! Under all the glitter, rhinestones, and an eccentric personality lies a somewhat kind-hearted individual who is willing to cooperate… as long as it doesn’t inconvenience them.

Shion got their title thanks to their impeccable ability to adapt and improve fast. They have won multiple competitions in their teen years despite starting the sport at age 12, which is considered quite late. After graduating Hope’s peak, Shion’s placement in the podiums has started to steadily drop. If asked about the slow decline of their career, Shion just shrugs nonchalantly, leaving it at that.

Shion identifies as nonbinary and they are very prideful towards their identity and their achievements. Despite this, they are also incredibly lazy and rarely bothers to do something they don’t want to. Their goal is to go where the bar is the lowest and if that’s not possible, they WILL complain.

Suzu Nagahashi

Former Ultimate Ballerina

Birthday: November 1st

Age: 21

Class: 74-A

Blood type: A

Likes: Rainy Days, Leather Jackets

Dislikes: Dancing

This cold and assertive young lady is Suzu Nagahashi, the ultimate ballerina and she is not here to get herself killed over some dumb motive. Suzu has been known for her skills all her life. Rumor has it her mother, a former ballerina, started teaching Suzu how to dance the moment she was able to take her first step. Absolutely no one was surprised when she got her invitation to Hope’s Peak, though she rarely showed up to school thanks to her harsh performance schedule.

Suzu is very stoic and she picks her words carefully. Though her tone of voice is very serious, her pink frilly dress makes her attempts to be taken seriously harder for her. Luckily Suzu is stubborn and will try her utmost best to keep the situation she has been thrown in solely under her control.

Tetsu Asukaze

Honorary Ultimate Taxi Driver

Birthday: October 1st

Age: 26

Class: N/A

Blood type: AB

Likes: Radio, Coffee, Extraterrestrials

Dislikes: N/A

This funky young man is Tetsu Asukaze and he is known as the ultimate taxi driver. Who would’ve thought that was a talent, huh? Tetsu’s situation as an ultimate is a bit different from others because he only discovered his talent after getting old enough to drive which meant his high school days were already over. Despite this, Hope’s Peak decided to give him an honorary title of an ultimate taxi driver. Whatever that means…

Even though Hope’s Peak had given a public acknowledgment of Tetsu’s talent, he doesn’t think much of it nor does he feel he really belongs with the other ultimates.

Personality-wise, Tetsu is your serene local cryptid whose life has no order and looking at his sleeping schedule it’ll stay like that. Despite his harmless chaos, he is a very sweet lad with a passion for the unknown and obscure theories.

Tsubaki Ito

Former Ultimate Mortician

Birthday: May 8th

Age: 24

Class: 71-A

Blood type: O

Likes: Medical History, Bad and Gory Horror Movies

Dislikes: Spirals

This unnerving and small woman is Tsubaki Ito, the ultimate mortician. She was born as a miracle child to an old couple that ran a mortician family business. In fact, everyone in her extended family is at least a generation older than her. As the years went by, her family slowly passing away from natural causes had become a regular occurrence.

Tsubaki is specialized in body restoration and desairology, as she tends to work with victims of causalities. She got her title by her ability to make even the worst of murder victims to look like they are merely sleeping in their caskets.

As the concept of death is an old friend in her family, Tsubaki has become desensitized towards the subject and can come off as insensitive towards the killing game. But what can you do when your daily routine occasionally includes pulling out a chainsaw from someone’s chest cavity due to a gruesome accident?  Despite this, Tsubaki is very sweet and will address everyone with an endearing tone.

[intangiblyyourswrites]

Kaleidoscope - Chapter 3

*NOT Legend of Zelda related*

(needed that disclaimer because I’ve been obsessed lately.)

After 3 years, I finally updated this baby and it’s a whopping 26 pages. 

Read on FF.net

Here’s a very long A/N under the cut for anyone interested:

Alright, so you guys now have the whole back story (Erina's part probably spanned across ~8 months)! I think there may be some confusion with how their relationship is working out (yikes, that’s on me as the writer), so I just want to clarify the situation thus far, since there will be no more back tracking.

This story is a continuation/sequel to my one-shot “Whispers,” which talks about how Soma is not as oblivious to his surroundings as people peg him to be. As such, he knows how Megumi and Erina feel about him, or at least he thinks he does, in the case of Erina. At the very least, he knows it’s hard for Erina to love him, even though they share an intimate relationship. Because of her “rejection” of the New Year’s kiss, he is discouraged from thinking they’ll be anything more. Ultimately, it’s his “it doesn’t have to mean anything” is what really drives the nail in the coffin. Erina doesn’t understand love, doesn’t know what to expect, and has a difficult time reconciling that she’s feeling all these emotions due to actions that are supposed to mean nothing.

Also, I would like to point out that, in the last chapter, Soma isn’t being a jerk just to be a jerk. He doesn’t know how to accept that Erina is leaving, and this results in the needless things he does to her and Megumi in an attempt to make himself feel better. A defense mechanism, of sorts. He knows he has royally screwed up though and is actually the more mature out of the two at the end of this chapter. Doesn’t mean it’s going to stay like that with Erina’s new soul searching endeavor.

If anyone is disappointed because of the lack of a love confession, it’s because neither of them truly are. Erina can’t really love Soma when she can’t love herself, and has pretty much been using him as a scapegoat for all her problems. Soma, this entire time, never fully gave into his emotions due to the sheer impossibility (in his POV) of it becoming anything more than a FWB situation. Am I saying their feelings for each other aren’t real? Absolutely not. However, they both know they’re young and immature and deserve better than what they’re currently offering each other.

These children just need time to grow, and they will, but it’s going to be done apart before it can be done together.

Thanks for reading!

—Intangibly Yours

P.S. In case you’re wondering wth I’ve been up to: I’ve been going through grad school and am finally in my last didactic semester, though I won’t be graduating until the end of the year. I got married in 2018 (and my gosh that was stressful) and life has been good, albeit busy. I hope to continue writing for this fandom, though you’ll see me post things related to The Legend of Zelda too because I am absolute trash for Zelda x Link right now. Go play Breath of the Wild and you probably will be too. Till next time!

[hobbitkiller]

Raw

A/N I’m not really sure whether Kelly knows who Kara is atm on the show. Seems like she does, but the show’s never been great at consistently demonstrating how much anyone knows. Also, not sure how much of this Alex would actually share or be allowed to share with Kelly, but I think she needs to talk about this with someone other than J’onn, or, obviously, Kara. So, this is written under the assumption that Kelly does know about Kara. Also, it has been a looooooooooong time since I have shared some fanfic (We’re talking pre-AO3 here), so I am deeply sorry for the quality. I just thought this is a scene that the episode could have benefitted from.

---

“Ready for some Sushi?”

That smile. Alex hadn’t melted so quickly for a smile since...

“You bet! Let me just finish getting ready!” 

Kelly had shown up at Alex’s apartment right on time. Alex, on the other hand, had only just gotten out of the shower and was still in a robe, hair still damp.

“No problem. Did you get caught up at work?” Kelly walked over to the kitchen counter, putting down her purse and perching on one of the stools as Alex disappeared into the bathroom. Kelly raised her voice to compete with the sound of the hair dryer. “FROM WHAT I HEARD ON THE NEWS, SOUNDS LIKE IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME DAY!”

The sound of the hairdryer stopped, and Kelly waited for a response from Alex. And waited. When several minutes passed and there was no reply from her girlfriend, Kelly slowly stood and approached the bathroom. “Alex?” she called out cautiously as she reached out a hand. The sound of a shuddering breath was all she needed before she gently pushed open the cracked door.

Alex stood hunched over the sink, one hand grasped a hair brush while the other grasped the edge of the porcelain. Both hands’ knuckles were pale as Alex clenched sink and brush like lifelines. “Alex?” Kelly asked again.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I almost killed Kara?”

Kelly didn’t answer. She knew that the best thing to do right now was to give Alex space. She sensed that any comment from her could easily be misinterpreted right now as judgement.

Alex took the silence as an invitation to continue. “It was when Non deployed Myriad. I thought, somehow, I would be strong enough to not be mind-controlled. As long as J’onn was with me, there would be no problems, and I’d be able to...I don’t even know what help I thought I was going to be able to give Kara. But, you know how I am.” Alex briefly glanced up at Kelly through the mirror, making eye-contact for a second before looking down again. “Anyway, J’onn got hurt almost immediately and, before I knew it, Indigo and Non had made me their puppet and sent me with a kryptonite suit and a kryptonite sword to kill my sister, knowing that she would never hurt me.”

Alex’s hands both clenched tighter as she said this, and Kelly took a slow step forward, gently placing a hand on Alex’s back. “I’m sorry that happened to you. James told me the basics about Myriad, but I never knew...”

Alex sniffed, finally letting go of the sink and hairbrush. Standing straighter, a hand darted toward her eye to wipe away a stray tear. “Yeah, it’s not something a lot of us like to discuss in detail. Non made James and Winn jump off CatCo with a third employee that Kara was unable to save. I was seconds away from killing Kara when J’onn brought my mom in to talk me out of it.”

Alex picked up the hairbrush again, this time actually running it through the now mostly-dry hair. “Lena, of course, was in Metropolis at the time. Maybe if she had been here, if she had been forced to become a drone, to become a passenger in her own body, she would realize that...” Alex clearly couldn’t find the words she was looking for, instead slamming down the brush, and heading out of the bathroom, forcing Kelly to quickly step out of the way.

“Alex,” Kelly said gently, following her toward the bedroom area, “what happened today?”

Alex stopped digging through her dresser at the question. Without turning around she answered, “I had to make a choice. Let the whole world be subjected to Myriad boosted with Malefic’s inception powers or...”

“Or...” Now was the time for Kelly to push.

“Or take out the threat with whatever means necessary.” Alex rubbed the sweater in her hand with her thumb. It was one of her favorites. Soft, dark red. Inhaling a quick breath for courage, she continued, “and in this case, the threat was Lena. Lena, for whatever convoluted reason she has come up with because she’s mad Kara didn’t tell her she was Supergirl, has decided that she has the right to...”

“To take away your freedom? Your choice? Just like Non and Malefic did?” Kelly finished for her.

“Not just mine! Everyone’s!” Alex let go of the sweater and was soon pacing. “At least in some twisted way I signed up for this shit. For the kidnappings and mind controls and White Martian impersonations--which, may I stress, has happened TWICE.” Kelly paled a bit at that, and Alex knew she should be more sensitive to her girlfriend’s trauma, but she was just so angry. “But there are people in the world who had no idea that they were about to lose at least a part of themselves because Lena thinks she has the right to play God.”

Kelly was desperately trying to digest the slew of information that was coming at her from Alex’s casual list of the things that had happened to her to the information that Lena was apparently trying to mind control the world when Alex continued. “And in doing so, she hurts Kara, who of course refuses to be mad about it because, ‘Hey, at least Lena didn’t go all the way and kill me!’ and forces me to trust the guy who tried to kill you, me, and J’onn--who forced me to say horrible cruel things to the person I love like a father--and to put the whole world in jeopardy. Because it’s either trust Malefic and have a greater risk of everyone on Earth being incepted or kill Lena who refused to surrender, refused to listen to reason, and has managed to make Eve her scapegoat so she can do it all again.” 

“So...” Kelly was still mentally trying to catch up. “Lena’s...?”

“Fine,” Alex finished. “Well, clearly not fine. She’s been lying to us for months, is somehow working with Eve again, and just tried to use an alien terrorist’s mind control device on the whole planet. So, not fine. But she is alive.”

“Okay,” Kelly grabbed Alex’s hands and gently pulled her to sit on the bed with her. “So, let me try to recap. Lena used the Myriad device to try to incept the world for some reason. You had to stop her. You found a way without killing her, even though it was riskier. Do I have that right?”

“Yes, but...”

Kelly cut Alex off. “So, the world is safe. You’re safe. Kara’s safe. And Lena is safe.”

“Yes, but what if Lena does something like this again, and next time I don’t have another option? I love Lena. I do. She’s basically family. But I can’t let her take her anger at Kara out on the world.” Alex slumped into Kelly’s side, lips quirking into a hint of a smile when her hand was soon held in another. “I just...this job was a lot simpler when I was just out there bringing in Fort Rozz escapees and Kara as safe being Cat Gran’t assistant. When no one was forcing me to choose between potentially killing a friend or letting the world lose its free will.”

Kelly squeezed Alex’s hand tightly, and tried to give her the most reassuring smile she could. “Maybe it was simpler. But was it better? Was it better when you didn’t know who J’onn really was, or when Kara didn’t know the amazing things you did for her?” Kelly leaned closer. “Was it better when you were lying to yourself about who you were?”

Alex sighed. “I guess not.”

Kelly nodded in affirmation. “Don’t ever try to diminish the amazing person you have become. You’re 30 and the director of an armed federal agency. You are the strongest woman on earth’s hero. You are someone who faces hard choices and makes them for the good of everyone, personal consequences be damned. I can’t even imagine what you and Kara, or Lena for that matter, are going through. But I know one thing.” Kelly leaned in to place a soft kiss on Alex’s temple. “If there’s anyone who can save your family and protect the world, it’s you, Alexandra Danvers.”

“You know I hate being called that,” Alex grumbled, but she was ever-so-slightly smiling.

“I do,” Kelly nodded. “But you’re just so cute when you pout. So,” Kelly stood, “are you still up for Sushi, or are we ordering in?”

Alex shook herself and stood. “Sushi,” she said. “I think I need to get out and see people tonight.”

Kelly smiled. “Sushi it is.”