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milkiane · 2 years

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I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU. eddie munson.

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summary: the four times eddie knew he was a goner and the one time he told you.

warnings: no spoilers! don’t worry, you’re safe here. profanities. gif credits to @his-name-is-ed <3

word count: 5.1k

i. the first time eddie knew he was a goner was when… he found out that you love mötley crüe.

eddie knows his presence is hard to miss. aside from his wild hair and clothing choices, which apparently do not fit the social standards, he makes it exceptionally difficult for people to ignore him.

and yet, on a particular, normal, chilly friday in the school field, you effortlessly grab his attention. you didn’t need crazy hair or seeking clothes or loud eccentric speeches on top of a cafeteria table. you’re just… sitting there with a frown on your face and eddie thinks…

eddie can’t think. his mind draws blank as he continues to stare at you.

so like dominoes, his abrupt stop results in the rest of the hellfire club bumping into him, which causes a streak of groans and complaints, but eddie pays them no mind because as if his legs have a mind of their own, they bring him right to you. “carry on without me, my little sheep, destiny awaits!”

you groan in annoyance, slamming your hand onto your malfunctioning walkman. “stupid, stupid, little shi-”

“y’know, i don’t think mauling the poor thing will make it work.”

you look up at the voice with a glare, your face softens just a bit after seeing it was eddie, but the glare prevails nevertheless, still frustrated with your walkman.

“i mean, sure, i guess that could make it work, too,” eddie shrugs, hopping on top of the picnic table instead of sitting on the benches like a normal person.

“it will work,” you grit your teeth, hitting the side of the device as it did nothing to fix the distorted voice of vince neil. “it just needs a bit of tough love.”

after watching you for a few more minutes with an amused smile, eddie snatches it out of your hands, convinced that you would break it if it doesn’t revive the next second. he ignores your objections as he opens his black metal lunchbox.

“it’s not a lunchbox,” he absentmindedly retorts to your murmur as he goes through his things, silently muttering a quiet no, not this, nope, what the hell is this? and finally, aha!

he raises a mini screwdriver before you as if it will magically take your problems away. “this, my lady, will magically take your problems away.”

huh.

you hesitantly watch as eddie pops open your walkman, taking out the mixtape to find the tape itself burst out of its case. he tinkers and meddles with it carefully, doing wonders as he manually rewinds it.

you use his current distraction to take a good look at him. you’ve seen him around the school; in class, in the hallways, at the cafeteria, but you’ve never crossed the borders of his personal bubble or actually spoken to him until now.

he isn’t a bad sight to see.

his hair, although gone rogue, looks so soft that you physically have to restrain yourself from touching it. he has tattoos inked on his skin, slightly covered by his hellfire shirt as if teasing you and leaving you wanting to see more. beautiful silver rings graced his fingers making you want to study each intricate detail that embellished the jewelry.

his tongue is poking out of his lips, brows furrowed in concentration. his nose is slightly crooked as if it’s been broken before. he has dimples piercing his cheeks and the lightest of freckles sprinkled over his face, only noticeable if kissed under the sun.

all things considered, eddie munson is a sight for sore eyes.

“are you done staring, sweetheart?” eddie teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “if you’d like, i can pose for you on this table.”

you were too deep in your reveries that you didn’t notice he was done. you blink up at him and scoff. “shut up, i wasn’t staring.”

“it’s fine, y’know, it’s normal to stare at pretty things.” he encourages you, satirically playing with his hair. “especially if you’re one of those connoisseurs of art.”

“wow, someone learned a new word today.” you praise him sarcastically.

“now, now, y/n, is that a way to treat someone who just fixed your lil walkman?” eddie chastises, grabbing your headphones from your neck and putting it on his ears. “what were you listening to anyway?”

he gives it a few seconds before the familiar music comes in. he whips his head towards you with a slack jaw. he winces, his hand coming in contact with his neck, massaging the pain from snapping his head towards you too fast.

… i've been a poet always tongue in cheek,

i've seen some scenes man you'd never believe,

and like a supercharged rocket ride,

you know they'd have gasoline if they had the time.

“you- you listen to mötley crüe!” eddie blurts out, standing on the picnic table and pointing an accusatory finger at you. “you’re one of us!”

“shut up!” you pull him back down with a yank. you can still hear angela blasting through your headphones. you look at him with a sigh before muttering. “i love mötley crüe.”

eddie lets out a choked laugh, jumping off the table and squishing your cheeks with his hands. “you’re a cute little metal freak!”

“shut up, munson! you better get your hands off my face or so help me god.”

it came out as gibberish but the point came across.

“you say ‘shut up’ too much, is that your favorite word?” eddie calls into question, leaning closer to you with a roguish grin. his gaze flickers down to your pouting lips before staring straight into your eyes. “i can teach you more ways to shut me up, y’know?”

“scout’s honor that it’s even more efficacious than the words itself.” he winks at you before grabbing his lunchbox, leaving you bewildered and baffled beyond belief. mötley crüe did not do anything to blur the forming thoughts in your head.

that was strike one for eddie munson.

ii. the second time eddie knew he was a goner was when… you knocked someone out cold with a box of frozen waffles.

you shouldn’t have been out at an ungodly hour, quite frankly, but you really, really, wanted some eggos. so clad in sweats and an oversized shirt, you walk out of bradley’s big buy with three boxes of mini waffles in hand.

and as if the universe wasn’t satisfied with only one interaction, you hear eddie munson’s voice. “hey, come on, man. you’ve been my client for over a year now and you’re only doubting me now?”

“we talked about fifteen grams, munson, so i’m expecting fifteen grams.”

eddie sighs, rubbing his tired face with his hand. they’ve been going back and forth and he was starting to get annoyed. he wasn’t even supposed to be dealing right now, but when money calls, you answer it.

“look, man. it’s fifteen. if you don’t believe me, give me the money, go find a weighing scale, and weigh your shit. it’s fifteen grams.” he says, grabbing his lunchbox, but just as he wrapped his fingers on the handle, he gets shoved to the ground, his things crashing with him, skin scratched from catching himself on the rough pavement.

motherfucker.

“hey!” you didn’t want to. you really didn’t want to, but before you can think twice, you get in between eddie and the ridiculously tall buff guy.

you should really start thinking twice.

said guy, although high as a kite, looks at the box of eggos on the floor and back at you. you had thrown a box of waffles at his head.

“take your fifteen grams and leave,” you order calmly, ignoring the whispers of objections of eddie, who immediately stands up at lightspeed, startled by your sudden presence.

“i don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but this is between me and your little druggy friend, a’ight?” he sneers, pushing you aside to grab eddie by his shirt. “besides, the fuck do you know about packing shit right?”

“i know how to pack a punch, for starters.”

you didn’t give him or eddie to process your words before, CRACK! your fist comes in contact with his nose — a sickening crunch and a cry had them both freezing, well, except for the junkie clutching his nose.

“you bitch!”

with the throbbing pain of your knuckles, you could only whack him across his face with the box of waffles in your hand as he leaped to get you.

eddie, still frozen in his spot, can only watch in both horror and amazement as the guy gets knocked out cold, face kissing the sidewalk.

“holy shit…”

“how much did he owe you?” you huff, clutching your victimized hand as you stand over the guy.

“twenty.” he blinks.

you shrug, digging a hand in the jean pocket of the junkie and placing the crumpled bills in eddie’s hand. “twenty-five for being a shithead.”

eddie took you out for some ice cream treat after that.

“remind me to never get on your nerves, you scare me,” he said, but there was no real fear behind his words, just a twinge of wonder in his voice and a sparkle in his eyes.

you didn’t say anything. you didn’t need to, so you just grinned at him before taking a scoop out of his ice cream.

and at that moment, under the moonlight with frozen waffles aiding your knuckles and discarded ice cream cups on top of his van, eddie just knew that you would stick around.

and the rest was history.

that was strike two for eddie munson.

iii. the third time eddie knew he was a goner was when… traces of you were slowly starting to bleed into his life, and he didn’t mind.

“is this… MADONNA?”

eddie snaps his head towards the curly-headed boy in his passenger seat, eyes widening at the sight of the manifold of mixtapes that sits on dustin’s lap.

he splutters incoherent excuses as he chucks them back into his glovebox, a hand still on the wheel as he tries to keep the van steady.

dustin watches in amusement as eddie fumbles with the mixtape that fell from his grasp. he snatches it out of his mentor’s hand and snickers, “wow, abba, too? didn’t know you were such a pioneer of music, eddie.”

eddie thwacks him with the d&d gazette before turning his eyes back on the road. “those aren’t mine.”

it was his. you left it for him.

dustin squints his eyes at his friend as if staring at him like that will force him to tell the truth, and it almost did, but thankfully, he chooses to go through the mixtape-filled glovebox again instead.

you brought half of your mixtapes with you when eddie had asked you to accompany him on a spontaneous road trip out of town one day. he always looks back to that moment.

you were passionately talking about the songs that graced your diverse music taste, hands animatedly moving around as words spew out of your mouth every millisecond. he understood every single thing you said, though.

just because you love mötley crüe doesn’t mean you don’t love starship. you love kiss but you also love the beatles. you love metallica but you also love bee gees, and maybe he was starting to like it, too.

if you ask eddie, he’ll choose cyndi lauper’s time after time as his slow dance song. absolutely irrelevant yet very relevant.

“why the hell are you smiling like a crazy man?” dustin pokes his cheeks, effectively snapping him out of his daydream.

eddie slaps his hands away from his face.

aside from mixtapes in his glovebox, eddie also has a special drawer with the clothes you often leave at his house, and with the best detergent he has – a discounted brand from a dollar store – he voluntarily washes it for you to wear next time.

“did… did you wash my clothes?” he remembers you asking the first time.

he turns away from his notebook to look at you. “uh, yeah. you left some of your stuff here and i decided to include it with mine last wash day.”

“oh,” you beam, pulling the material to your nose and breathing it in. “thanks, babe.”

eddie ignores the warmth of his cheeks and goes back to doodling in his notebook. “‘course, would you like me to wear a maid outfit while i’m at it next time?”

you laugh. “i’d like that very much.”

you bring the soft fabric back to your nose, it smells just like him.

you start leaving more clothes in his room after that.

that was strike three for eddie munson.

iv. the fourth time eddie knew he was a goner was when… he wanted to be the best version of himself whenever you’re around.

“okay, so i have a bag of those honeycomb cereal you like, some pringles, juice boxes, pints of ice cream…”

as you continue to list off the snacks you brought for the d&d campaign with the boys, eddie leans forward to buckle your seatbelt, letting you catch a whiff of his cologne. he tugs it twice to make sure it’s fastened properly. “safety first.”

you pause. “you literally never wear your seatbelt.”

“that’s because i sold my soul to the devil for immortality,” eddie pats your thigh before backing out of your driveway. “and because it will cause a decline in my precious reputation!”

“what, common road safety?” you snort. “do tell, kind sir, what would the great eddie munson be known for?”

“you don’t know?” he scoffs in mock disbelief. “i’m an evil self-proclaimed attention whore – i’m known for a lot of things, sweetheart.”

“speaking of being an attention whore,” you gravitate towards him to sniff him again. “are you wearing a new perfume, munson?”

“sit back down, dumbass! and it’s cologne, not perfume.”

“same shit. are you trying to impress someone?” you tease, settling down back in your seat before letting out an overdramatic gasp. “is it dustin? is it because he’s been hanging out with steve the past week?”

“what? no!” he wavers for a moment before sniffing himself. “why? does it smell bad?”

you laugh. “no, no. i actually like it better than your old one.”

“good, i bought it especially for you.” he winks, turning the volume of the music up before you can even reply.

“i can’t believe erica rolled a d20!” eddie exclaims, packing up the boards.

“and twice,” you agree.

as usual, you and eddie stayed back after the campaign, ushering the kids — and gareth and the group — out of the room as soon as you heard the distant rumble of the sky. you knew they’d be biking home, so you asked them to leave early, much to your best friend’s displeasure.

you pick up the empty chip bags and discarded juice boxes, prolonging the chat you’re having with eddie.

mid-conversation, you lean against his throne, garbage bag in your hands. he was talking animatedly and you’re not quite sure what he’s even talking about anymore.

the lights of the room give him a glow that makes your heart beam. the perfect combination of green, orange, and blue; it makes him look like a fallen angel. a devil in disguise. the right fusion of both.

his eyes are soft, it’s kind. his smile is, too. everything about him is. he doesn’t show anyone, but you always get the opportunity to see a part of him that makes you fall in love with him even more.

“…and then just as i was about to dream of rubbing their loss in their puny little faces — she slaps me with a crit hit! that’s twice!”

“yeah,” you whisper, a gentle smile on your lips. you push yourself off the chair and start helping him around the room. “maybe it’s a sign that you’re getting a bit rusty, buzz.”

“drop it with the nickname! it’s been years and i was only forced to have it shaved after stupid anthony chopped my hair nasty in history.”

you double down in laughter. “and wayne has been so gracious enough to show me the pictures.”

eddie glares at you before running towards you. you only advance two steps away from him before he catches you from behind and pulls you against him.

“salvage yourself, you insolent little minx.”

“no! i shan’t yield!”

giggles escape both of your lips, sounds slowly getting muffled by the drops of rain starting to patter one by one, making you and eddie stop in your tracks.

you exchange wide-eyed glances before hurrying with the packing.

you run out of the building, shoes splashing over the formed puddles, you didn’t even notice eddie shrug his jacket off to shield both of you from the rain.

a few meters from his van, you pull away from him and let the water hit you, dampening your clothes all within a second.

“what the hell are you doing?” eddie shouts over the loud pour.

“come on!” you pull him towards you, cold hands grasping his warm ones, you dance in the rain.

eddie watches you in disbelief, though there’s a smile on his face. “fuck it,” he mutters. “wait here.”

he runs to his van, almost slipping on the wet ground. “i’m okay!”

“idiot.” you snort.

eddie opens the door to the passenger seat and opens the glovebox. he grabs a random mixtape and fumbles to put it in the player, only then realizing that he didn’t even start the van.

a minute or two later of waiting, you hear a bees gees song blast from eddie’s van.

“come on, baby,” he whoops, grabbing your hands as he starts shimmying. “let’s dance!”

you let out a blissful laugh as he twirls you around. you jump around in the puddles, soaked clothes slightly weighing you down from being drenched. you attempt to twirl eddie around, too, which was a struggle due to his height.

he sings along to the song and you gasp in surprise. “you know this song?”

“do i- do i know this song?” he repeats in incredulity. “of course, i do! i’m in-”

adrenaline getting to his head, eddie realizes what he was about to say so he rectifies it. “you only sing it every second of the day. that damn song is engraved in my head!”

he pulls you back against him with a grin, a hand intertwined with yours and another supporting your back. he dips you, and you yelp in surprise.

the both of you are panting from all the dancing, but the smiles never left your face. you stare at his face, he stares at yours. you tuck a wet strand of his hair behind his ear, letting your hand rest on his jaw. he has a light stubble.

his eyes flicker to your lips, you do the same.

should i kiss him? should i not kiss him?

the loud boom of the thunder makes the decision for the two of you. the sound startles both of you, resulting in jumping away from each other faster than the next flash of lightning.

“we should head home if we still want to have this movie marathon,”

“yeah.”

eddie goes over his thoughts for a moment as you adjust the heater of the van. he recollects the resolution he made earlier, pondering over the idea of being the best version of himself though he already feels like he became it the first time he met you. how can one become the best-est best version of themselves?

that was strike four for eddie munson.

but for you… you lost count of how many it’s been because every day with eddie adds a tally to your strikes.

v. the time eddie tells you how he’s a goner for you.

“harrington? fucking harrington?”

“it’s a friendly date, buzz,” you point out, hand steady as you do your eyeliner in his bedroom mirror.

“with harrington?” he stresses, his own hands tugging at his brown locks.

“yes, eddie.” you sigh, it’s been a repetitive back and forth. “it’s not a date date. it’s friendly, as i said. robin will be there.”

he sits up against the wall, lips moving before his brain can process his words. “well, if buckley’s gonna be there then what else does he want with you?”

you pause, dropping your hand to look at him. “okay, ouch.”

“no, i-” he groans dramatically into his hands. “i didn’t mean it like that. i just- i don’t understand why you have to spend a perfectly great night with harrington-”

“and robin.”

“-and robin, when you can just spend it with me.” eddie pouts. he sounds pathetic, he knows, but he’s jealous. what if you decide to leave him for steve? – and although he understands; it’s steve harrington, for god’s sake. he would, too, if he can – life would have no other purpose for him if you do.

“aww,” you mimic his pout, walking over to him to pat his cheeks. “don’t worry, hotshot, you’re still my favorite boy.”

“whatever,” he swats your hands away, though the grin tugging at the corner of his lips persists. he takes his time admiring you properly. you looked gorgeous, as always.

“c’mon, you big baby,” you protested. “robin will be there! plus, you can always come wi-”

“well, why didn’t you say so?” he exclaims, leaping towards the door clad in his hellfire shirt and boxers. “let’s go! we better get goi-”

you throw his jeans at him. “for your modesty.”

eddie was glad he came along. he looks at you with clear fondness, watching as your eyes light up like a child on christmas day. you jump in excitement, dragging him into the fair.

“hey, you made it!” steve jogs towards you, but then his eyes flicker to your company. “…and munson.”

“harrington,” eddie grins, a hint of mischief in the glint of his smile as he bows to him.

you roll your eyes at them. “where’s robin?”

“right here, lovebug,” she smiles, offering you a pink cotton candy as she takes a bite off the blue one. steve’s mouth slowly falls slack in bewilderment.

“aww, my favorite,” you pout your lips as you clink your sweets like glasses of wine.

“that’s mine!”

“buy your own cotton candy, dingus,”

“you paid for those with my money.”

eddie pays them no mind as they continue to bicker. he snatches a piece of cotton candy as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “i see a kissing booth we can go to… the marriage booth, too, maybe?”

“stop,” you smack his arm. “let’s start with the basketball — eddie, they’ve got those big teddy bears!”

“well, the night is young, sweetheart,”

the night is young, indeed. you go around the fair with the group, steve has the giant teddy bear propped on his shoulders as if it was his child — “he is!” he argued. “his name is harry harrington.”

“harry harrington?” you had asked in incredulity. “that’s a shit name, steve!”

he gasped in mock offense, bringing the bear down to cover its ears. “don’t listen to her, harry, she’s just jealous you aren’t hers.”

eddie’s jealous he isn’t yours, too, but he wasn’t going to say that.

you felt as if you’ve managed to go through every single booth but according to the map robin had somehow snatched, there were more than half of it you have yet to explore.

“c’mon, there’s a ball toss over there,” eddie says, grabbing your arm to drag you away from steve. “gonna win you that giant fucking elephant.”

although as soon as you stop by before it, eddie does a double-take. “six dollars?”

“six dollars.” the merchant confirms.

he looks at you and whispers in disbelief. “six dollars?”

you shrug at him, letting out a chuckle at his expression. “capitalism, baby,”

eddie sighs. he’s glad he brought his wallet with him. he’s willing to spend all of his income if it meant getting you that elephant — and he will.

“we don’t have to, you know,” you reassure him, eyeing him as he reaches out for the dollars. “there’s still a lot of booths we can go to.”

“nah, i’m getting you that elephant.” he slams the money on the counter. the merchant smirks. three balls.

eddie grabs one and exhales. “wish me luck.”

he throws the ball, and again, and then again. and then he slams more money onto the counter, and then again, and again.

his aim’s good, but not enough to knock all the cans down. steve and robin managed to do a round before returning to the both of you with corndogs in hand.

with his promise of a last round, he sighs at the sight of what’s left of the standing cans. he gives you the last ball.

“are you sure?” you hesitate.

“do the honors, my lady,” eddie smiles, eyes so soft that subtle crinkles show at the corners.

and with a swift throw, you somehow manage to knock down all of the cans. you and eddie whoop in excitement, jumping up and down as the merchant sighs exasperatedly, grabbing your oversized prize.

“oh my god,” you whisper, hugging the elephant to your chest. “it’s so fluffy!”

eddie looks at you with a dopey lovesick smile. maybe it was the sparkling fairy lights overhead, or the distant music playing, or maybe it was because you’re practically bouncing off the balls of your feet, a giddy smile adorning your lips… or maybe it was because eddie cannot take it any longer so he says, “i’m in love with you.”

you falter for a bit, uncertain if you heard him correctly. “what?”

and steve, who had initially asked you on a date — although as friendly as he claims — leans against the wooden pillar, face contorting in realization, lips forming into an unmistakable o as he grasps what is happening.

robin grins, a quiet finally! unleashing from her lips. to give you two some privacy, well, as private as a conversation in a public place can be, she drags steve to a very friendly competition of high strikers. steve lets her, sending eddie an encouraging thumbs up.

“i-i’m in love with you,” eddie repeats, voice wavering at your blank expression. he couldn’t read you and it’s making him anxious. “i’m so terribly and undeniably in love with you – i knew i did the moment you said you love mötley crüe.”

you let yourself feel all the emotions bursting in all at once. he likes you. eddie munson likes you, so you ask stupidly, “are you sure?”

eddie scoffs a laugh. “am i- am i sure? are you asking me if i’m sure about my own feelings?”

you shrug.

he looks at you before breaking into a run without another word.

“eddie, where are you going?” you call out frantically.

eddie eyes the haystacks in the center of the park and clumsily mounts on them and nearly falls. he catches himself before he can tumble down. his eyes flicker to yours as he cups his hands over his mouth. “fair people of hawkins, i have an announcement to make!”

“what is he doing?” steve asks as he and robin appear from beside you.

“i have no idea.”

some people stop by to watch, some go on with whatever it is they were doing, and you just stand where you’re planted, unsure of what he’s about to do and what you’re supposed to do.

“i, eddie munson, a self-proclaimed attention whore, have something very important to say.” he starts – “well, get on with it now!” a guy exclaims. eddie ignores him – “i am in love with y/n l/n. i’ve been in love with her since i found out she loves metal, i’ve fallen for her since she knocked a guy out cold with frozen waffles–”

“frozen waffles?” robin questions.

“– i fell for her even harder when she introduced me to madonna – that’s right, i love madonna! but most importantly, i knew i was a goner when i wanted to become the best version of myself for her. i wanted to become the person she deserves because i am in love with you, y/n, always have.”

you soften and the world disappears around you; it was just you and him. there is an ache in your chest, but not because of heartbreak, it’s because it feels as if it will burst out of your chest out of love.

“we can’t help who we fall for,” eddie breathes out, walking down the stack. “but honestly, i’m glad it’s you because there’s no one else in this world whom i would love to love if it’s not you.”

you shove the elephant in steve’s hold and walk straight to eddie.

he sends you a small smile, arms extended. when you’re a step closer, he whispers. “i’m sorry, i just had to-”

“shut up,” you command, pulling him in for a heated kiss, fingers getting lost and tangled in his hair, his arms snake around your waist to pull you impossibly closer, no gap left unfilled.

your lips dance a fast-paced song, it’s all but intense and passionate – a hint of eagerness and the satisfaction of longing. you forget that it wasn’t just the two of you, that there was a crowd watching you both kiss. you can hear the faint coos of the moms by the corner.

“get a room!” a guy barks out. simultaneously, you and eddie flipped him off but the kiss decelerates into soft and sensual, a contrast to the shared feverish one, now easing up to the feeling of content and delicate love.

you pull away a second later, forehead touching his as you don’t dare to open your eyes yet. “i’m in love with you, too, if it’s not obvious yet.”

“well, i should hope so,” eddie laughs. he gives you a quick peck on the lips before fixing you with a teasing grin. “how about that marriage booth now, sweetheart?”

“take me out on a date first, loverboy.” you interlace your hand with his as you walk away from the spotlight.

“how about a kiss on top of the ferris wheel?” he proposes instead.

“sap,” you scrunch your nose up with a smile. “but i’m not opposed to the idea.”

that was strike ??? for you and eddie.

“just to let you all know, i am not going to sit next to steve on the ferris wheel.”

“what do you mean? i’m an amazing ferris wheel companion.”

“would you like to get shoved off the seat once we’re on top?”

“... how about the bumper cars?”

“deal.”

23K notes · View notes

webginz · 19 days

Text

i had the worst shower ever. i was like, tripping out. reminded me of my "episodes" i had in middle school. just like voices and not knowing where i am. and not being able to get back to reality.

well now im on my way to the dentist, theres no way in hell they wont be able to notice i was just crying. (from fear of going to the dentist, not from the shower thing lol)

im so scared :(

[took out a part here but it was just about stress and disordered eating things from this morning]

then i got to the dentist and it sucked. long dentist story ahead

okay dentist. everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong.. i tried acting normal, and we had small talk or whatever like normal dentist x ray stuff, but she could instantly tell something was wrong with me, i guess.

she gave me a health form to fill out. i was still chill and this point and was like oh yeah i have blood pressure problems but its only if im up moving around!! so not doing that at the desntist hehe amirite?! i also checked anxiety and i think thats what she wanted. just personal confirmation everything was gonna go wrong.

after she learned i had anxiety, she was nice, too nice imo... like i was a child. im okay with that though i guess. (i mean.. she could definitely tell i was just done crying)

she was like "the xray blanket is heavy and could help with ur anxiety" BUT I WANTED IT OFF AND COULD BARELY TALK SO I JUST NODDED. it made me feel so overwhelmed immediately. THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED GOING BAD

im also just constantly aware of my hair and when you lean back on the stupid dentist seat my hat falls off. its like LOOK THE FREAK WHOS SCARED OF THE DENTIST AND PULLS OUT ALL HER HAIR!!

whatever. so there i am on the dentist chair. bald spots for the world to see. xray blanket sensory overload. sunglasses on top of my regular glasses. but im pushing through.

she starts using the tool on my teeth. a metal vibrating thing that sounds like a drill. my worst most awful fear is high pitched drilling noises. if im in a good mood i can put up with them for a bit, but obviously todays not that day. i try not to freak out, but she notices and asks if im okay and im like "yah" (with tears)

but then my mom comes in and shes like "can you not do it a different way?!?!" "shes freaking out" and just making everything WORSE. (used the chaos here to get rid of the dumb xray thing)

ive been on and off hyperventilating through all of this btw... i heard one of the dentist ladies say "shes crying and breathing really fast..." which was like. kill me now please god.

so back to my mom asking "can you not just do it a different way?" they do have a different way btw. without the scary machine! but then dentist lady says "she used this machine the last 2 times she was here? we dont have enough time to do it manually." (proof i was just having a bad day and i totally can be normal!!! but hearing this made me feel awful like i could feel all the dentists were thinking "she did it fine last time why is she carzy today?!?")

she then asked to step away to find the MAIN dentist lady.

at this point i was crying shaking hyperventilating and felt like i was gonna throw up from nervous energy. also my mom is pestering me a bunch (shes concerned but making everything worse, her hearts in the right place tho ily mom)

so big boss dentist lady is here. she says she looked at the xrays (from the beginning, remember?) and i have A GAZILLION CAVITIESSSSSS!!!!!

she says for my dental things from now on i should go to a SEDATION DENTIST!!!!

i was so out of it i didnt even know what to say. well now i do!!!

im not usually that scared. i was having a VERY BAD morning.

the dentist i go to now is all women. the sedation dentist is a MAN, that none of the women there had ever met. I HAVE TO GO MEET A MAN TO SEDATE ME SO I CAN BE ALONE WITH HIM? SO HE CAN DO MY TEETH? i might have a silly joking tone to this post but with this im being so serious. im scared as hell that thats just gonna end with me being raped.

i dont like male doctors/dentists/anything and always have my mom with me when i have to. there was a female assistant when i had my endoscopy and female nurses when i had my surgery. i dont want to be alone, asleep, in a room with a man i dont know. JUST BECAUSE IM SCARED OF THE DENTIST???

god i keep seeing stuff in the corner of my eye as im writing this. i think my psychosis is coming back for some reason.

every things going wrong today and forever

pls like/reply this post if you read it all im sorry for my ranting

#personal #i need a journal im sorry

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enchanted-lightning-aes · 9 months

Text

Tent Set-Ups Going Wrong

[ID: a green badge of a tent with text that reads ‘Sambucky Summer Camp Bingo, Stuck in a Tent, ESTD. 2023 / finish ID]

Title: Tent Set-Ups Gone Wrong

Square Filled: Stuck in a Tent

A/N: just a light-hearted cracky entry for @sambuckylibrary. where sam tries filming a Cap P.S.A, only for it to go in shambles.^^

Word Count: 873

T.W: None-ish

***

Part of being Captain America was having to maintain one's presence in the media. And while Sam tended to be exhausted from handling press conferences and interviews, he did what he could.

Sure, he couldn't dodge inappropriate or racist questions regarding his position, he knew how to deal with them. He knew how to be composed, not allowing any initial frustration get the best of him. Aware it wouldn't do him any good.

Although, it would be nice to talk back, sometimes. Even Bucky wanted to slam some reporter's head against wall at how he got a question that he disliked. Immensely.

Unfortunately, it also included some certain things that he didn't think of. . .

"You want me to star in those P.S.As?" Sam asked in disbelief.

He had been summoned to a small studio in D.C, where he had to discuss of his schedule. They all decided to meet at Rock Creek Park, where they would be filming. Since summer was approaching, they needed to have commercials featuring Sam, front and center.

"Well, Steve did it and you might as well too," the producer explained, plastering a smile that looked more of a wince. "All part of the job, I guess."

Sam huffed a sigh. "Alright. Let's get this over with."

"Do you have to?" Bucky asked.

"I mean we can do something else," Joaquin added, sounding dismayed.

"Like I said, guys." Sam adjusted his cowl. "We should finish this."

Both Bucky and Joaquin exchanged a glance of chagrin.

They gathered at a small grassy field as the crew prepared the mini set. Just some bundles of wood, tents, and sleeping bags.

The director lifted a megaphone, adjusted in her seat.

"Lights. . . Camera. . . Action!"

Someone slammed the clapperboard and Sam propped his hands on his sides, facing the camera. And while Bucky and Torres stood by his sides, waving.

"So, you wanna learn how to arrange a tent, huh?" Sam asked, flashing his signature megawatt smile. "Well, lemme show you how it's done. With the help of my team, anything is possible!"

The wind howled, moving past him in a heavy current.

"Wow, you sure are pulling this off, Samuel," Bucky whispered wryly.

Repressing any urge to roll his eyes, Sam beckoned Bucky and Joaquin at the tent supplies strewn on the grass.

"First you gotta set it up," Sam said into the camera, sweeping an arm over at them. "Then put your components on the tarp. Connect your tent poles together. Insert those poles into where they ought to be and raise the tent up. Now watch as my good friends, Sergeant Bucky Barnes and Lieutenant Joaquin Torres, take this step by step."

Yeah, Sam had to memorize an entire instruction manual for this. So, if any of them noticed how he sounded automatic, maybe he could change it for another take.

Who knew how long would this go on? He had sternly informed those two to be on their best behavior. Although, that approach didn't work by eighty percent.

Bucky and Joaquin adjusted the tent's equipment, setting up the poles. They started raising the tent up slowly yet diligently. The breeze smacked a flap against Bucky and his fingers trembled upon adjusting the hook.

Whoa, it was such a big tent, he thought, refraining from gaping.

Just as Sam could have peered into the camera, the wind's heavy strength shook the poles. Yanking them off their positions. Bucky froze and flung an arm around, only for the tent to collapse down on him.

"Sam! Sam! Help! I think. . . I'm trapped!" Bucky sounded panicked.

Oh yikes, Sam thought. He tried maintaining his smile.

He should have known even filming a damn P.S.A wouldn't go peacefully. Most things in his line of work didn't.

The director and filming crew chattered in hushed tones containing concern. Joaquin winced, bowing his head while scratching his forehead.

"Okay, Cap to the rescue, everyone!" Sam sprinted towards the fallen tent.

He tried pushing it upwards and Bucky moved, crawling out of it. He scrambled to his feet, pressing his hands against the tent. The wind howled again, growing louder and denser. Streaks of grey scattered within the sky as clouds gathered.

The tent collapsed on both of them, sending them flat against the ground.

Both of them let out a grunt and a yelp, their shoulders budging and nudging. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and Sam tried kicking the tent.

If the weather was gonna be this concerning, he would have rescheduled the entire damn thing. However, he had to be in this predicament.

Yep. Sam was so not cut out for this shit. He should be a hell lot selective if he had to take up this gig. Ever again. Simple P.S.As filmed in a studio? Doable. Something he could manage, at the very least.

". . . you're going to cut this out of the finished footage, aren't you?" Joaquin asked, sounding hesitant.

"Cut! Cut!" the director yelled, her voice amplified by her megaphone's speakers. "Okay, can. . . Can someone get Cap and his sidekick out of there?"

Bucky sighed. "Maybe if we filmed indoors instead of outdoors, we wouldn't be in this tricky situation."

"Shoulda known this was a bad idea," Sam mumbled, clutching onto the tent's edge.

***

#sbsummer23 #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sam wilson x bucky barnes #ships: sambucky #enchant: fanfics

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dreamingdarklyblog · 7 months

Text

So what to write?

So I'm trying to think of what to write for my writing partner. He got called away before he could get off, and that's just no fun. Though I did get him to fuck my big soft tits and cum allll over them... Mmm...

If you're confused by how those two thoughts make sense it's because the tit fucking happened all in my head =/. I mean, that should probably be obvious since I don't have big soft tits, lol

It's also kind of a let down, cause... Well I guess it depends on how it's implemented somehow, but the way he does these things I don't have a lot of control over what happens. I mean I can more and do whatever, but because everything else is happening in my head, it can be hard to interact with it in like, unscripted ways?

Basically I really wanted to blow him and have him cum down my throat but I couldn't even get a taste, tried licking it off my tits but I guess my brain just couldn't make it happen. *sighs*

I'm not sure what the difference is, as I'm not generally awake for that part, but I've done uh... similar things before, and it worked okay. So there's something different I'm not seeing. *shrugs*

Aaaanyway. I'm trying to think what I should write about, and I figured actually I sorta did write about one thing earlier today when I was trying to make him cum.

So he asked me to like, make up stories about images and gifs for him to jerk off to? Which is pretty hot ;). I mean, I'd rather blow him, of course, but if the things in my head are getting him off, that's great too.

So anyway... I'm doing that, making up stories, and then I hit one and I started making one up and I realized, wait a second, I don't have to. Cause I've basically done this one before. So the gif is this lady sucking a guys cock by some trees, and I start telling him a story about how she's out for a walk with her boyfriend, and he whispers in her ear and she just HAD to suck his cock...

So yeah that totally happened to me when I was younger. The same guy as the classroom story I told you earlier. Really all these stories of me going along with really stupid shit were all that guy. We were young and stupid. I was reeeally far gone into how hot the hypnosis kink was, and making some REALLY poor choices, lol. And was letting him get away with stuff I really shouldn't have. Way worse than this. But yeah.

One of those things was a blowjob trigger. I know right? So creative... Did I mention we were young and stupid? I don't know if I always would have had a thing for giving blowjobs, or if it just started because of him abusing the fuck out of it, but yeah, I've had a thing for sucking cock ever since. But like I said, he was my first for a lot of things (including that) so maybe it's like, hypnotic conditioning, or maybe it's just the totally standard "formative sexual experiences establish very strong neural connections" thing. But like 95% of the physical stuff we did was what you'd call 3rd base. Oral, manual, etc.

So it was a pretty established trigger. I knew it existed, but not what it was, still don't really. We were out on a hike to a place not that far from here, a fairly popular hiking spot. There's lots of those around here. There were other people on the trail, we'd passed a few as they came back down, and could occasionally hear other groups in the distance behind us. The hike wasn't that long, about a half hour or so. And when we got to the top of the trail, at the nice scenic overlook, he sorta pulled me in and kissed me. A kiss with intent, I'd call it. I kissed him back, but pushed him back a bit. I didn't really want to make out in a public place. I was pretty embarrassed by the thought of getting caught (and we'd already been caught in the parking garage at school like the week before).

He smirked. And I had about two seconds to be concerned before he said something, and I wanted his cock.

That's how sudden it was. Always was. I just wanted it. Really badly. I kind of clenched my hands and closed my eyes I think, biting my lip, reminding myself we were in public and I couldn't suck him off. But I heard him say something again and my knees got weak. All I could see were scenes of me sucking his cock. His glorious cock. Rock hard and filling my mouth with cum. I wanted it so, So badly. I opened my eyes so I'd stop seeing those images, those thoughts, and I saw him. All I could see was his crotch. The jeans he was wearing. The zipper. His belt. It was like the rest of him vanished. The forest vanished. The world shrunk.

I was breathing hard. Trying to control the urge, trying to say something about it being a bad idea, but I don't know what words actually came out. And then he said something again and I couldn't think anymore. My knees gave out. My mouth was open and moaning. My hands were fumbling with his belt, waddling towards him on my knees as he back-peddled away from me to the side of the clearing. He was saying something like "Stop, Wait" but I didn't care. I needed it. I needed his cock in my mouth. I needed his cum down my throat. It was all I could think about. I could taste it. I was desperate. Like I was drowning and it was a giant inflatable cock for me to float on while I sucked it dry. Yes, terrible metaphor, what are you gonna do?

He kept trying to pull away but I wouldn't let him. I couldn't. He had the cock and I needed it. He couldn't leave! I yanked his pants down and grabbed his ass so he couldn't back away, but he tripped over his pants and fell on the ground. Bare assed on moss and dirt. I just followed. I was on my hands and knees over him, his legs under me, his cock in my mouth, and that was the only thought I had room for. His cock was in my mouth! I had it! I was sucking his cock! His amazing, perfect cock that I needed more than anything!

I sucked and slurped but, he was barely hard. He was talking but I couldn't really hear him. I assume telling me to wait, or get off, or something like that. But I really didn't care. I had his cock and that was all that mattered. I stroked him with my hand, sucked on the head, frantically trying to make him harder, moaning around it in my mouth. I'm not sure what worked exactly, but clearly something did, because he quickly got hard. Rock hard. I bobbed up and down, stroking him faster and faster. I wanted his cum. So badly. I needed it.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position so he could push my hair back (it was longer then) and put his hand to the side of my face. He was still talking, I ignored him and just sped up. He was so close. I could taste it. Literally. I could taste his pre-cum and it tasted So fucking good. I was moaning louder. I could feel myself getting more and more worked up too. Which was a thing that seemed to happen when I sucked his cock. I wonder why? (sarcasm)

I heard voices coming from down the trail. He tapped me on the head, once, then again, then repeatedly. Probably trying to get me to stop, but I didn't care. I couldn't care. He was going to cum. I could taste it. That was all that mattered. I just sucked harder, my neck was straining. I knew somehow if I didn't hurry than he wouldn't cum. That I wouldn't get to taste it. And I couldn't let that happen. I needed it! So I did the only thing I could think of and sped up more. My tongue was circling the head of his cock while my hand pumped up and down frantically. I was moaning, gasping for air around his shaft, when he finally came.

I could finally taste him. Exploding. I could hear him gasping. Feel him twitch and pulse. Every glorious spasm. It filled my mouth. I gulped, swallowing as fast as I could, and I felt that heat spreading through my body. That taste. I could feel the heat burning through me. Feel my body pulsing in time. Feel it building and building as I moaned and gulped and shuddered and Came.

So hard.

I lay gasping and moaning and twitching on the ground. In that little clearing. As he pulled away and pulled up his pants. Zipping and buckling. I caught my breath and pulled myself together. Straightened my clothes and took a big gulp of water. Then blushed furiously as we quickly left, passing another group on their way up, who gave me so strange looks.

Was it because I was blushing? Was it because they had heard what happened? I have no idea.

Anyway. Most of the walk back down was me telling him what a colossal moron he was, and to never do that where we could get caught again... >_<

Sadly he... Wasn't a great listener. *sigh*

#young and foolish

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theadventurerslog · 1 year

Text

King's Quest III: To Heir is Human | Part 1

The Adventurer’s Log

King’s Quest III: To Heir is Human Part 1

Release date: 1987 (original 1986)

Introduction:

King's Quest III time along with a departure from the first two games and a bit more complexity. Again, like always, I have seen a Let's Play, so not blind.

Some backstory from the manual:

In the land of Llewdor there's a powerful wizard named Manannan who, after getting sick of using spirits to handle his all his menial day to day chores, took a boy and raised him as his slave. As the boy grew up he started getting into and practising magic until Manannan discovered this when the boy was 18. He got mad and killed him.

He took another boy as a slave and kept a tight leash on him, punishing him whenever he tried to leave the house and generally the boy caused him little trouble and despite seeming to not get into magic he killed him anyway at 18 because I guess that's the magic age to start doing it or something. Okay, Manannan.

Then he has the gall to complain about having to train a slave all over again, like he didn't bring this on himself. But, he sticks with it and every 17 years kidnaps a boy and kills them at their 18th birthday or a little earlier if they're being a problem.

And that leads us to now with the 17 year old slave boy, Gwydion.

Here we go.

Now Gwydion is Manannan's slave and has no idea where he came from, who he really is or how he came here and of course Manannan ain't about to tell him.

So we begin with Manannan (doot dooo doodoodoot) yelling at him to get back to work and it's time to look around and ultimately find a way to escape from Manannan.

I explored around the house and this game is very mean to Manannan's cat. Maybe the cat is a jerk; sure liked getting in my way on the stairs, but. Cat. Maybe I was in its way, huh?

I did some chores such as sweeping the kitchen.

You can also empty his chamber pot, dust his desk and feed the chickens outside. There are chances Manannan can catch you doing things you shouldn't be like trying to leave, and punish you through things like temporarily hanging you upside down from the ceiling in the kitchen but I managed to, somewhat unfortunately, avoid that.

I did however find a secret lever in his study and he showed up and killed me oops. If he catches you doing anything related to magic like that lever or finding certain ingredients he'll kill you.

After poking around for a bit, I'm not sure what triggers it or if it's a time thing, he'll pop up and say he's going on a journey. This came up pretty quickly for me, which is a bit unfortunate as I didn't get to go bug him in his study or anything like that. Let me bug the foul tempered evil wizard!

There's a time limit for how long he'll be gone based on the in-game timer. The timer doesn't go up when messages are displayed, so that's a way to pause for a moment if you need to think.

With him gone, we're free to explore both the house and the surrounding region. I used the aforementioned lever to open a passageway down to Manannan's lab. Here, you find his spellbook and several ingredients.

There are a few different spells you'll need to cast eventually and they're all listed in the manual along with the steps needed to cast them. This was apparently a form of copy protection.

The spells we have available are:

Understanding the Language of Creatures

Flying like an Eagle or a Fly

Teleportation at Random

Causing a Deep Sleep

Transforming another into a Cat

Brewing a Storm

Becoming Invisible

All the spells will have a use but we'll first need Transforming another into a Cat.

If you mess up any step in the spell you'll get a game over with some amusing result from having messed up. I fully intend to deliberately screw up each one, and of the two I've done, I have messed up ...entirely accidentally.

I just wanted to look at the book and tried the page for the cat spell. I didn't have any of what I needed, but I figured I could back out. Nope... You have to do something, so that was a mess and Gwydion was turned into a partial cat.

Oooops. And that's a game over.

Reloading, I was ready to go again. Now, knowing these spells exist and what their needs are, it's time collect both the ingredients and a magic wand.

The magic wand is in Manannan's study in a locked cabinet, so we need to find a key and it's kind of bullshit.

The key is in his bedroom. There's 0 indication it's in there at all let alone where it might be. Of course it has to be somewhere around, but there are already a few items in here.

In the drawers there's rose petal essence which is needed for one of the spells. There's a magic mirror in the drawer below the tall mirror. In the closet there's a magic map that will fill in as you explore and lets you teleport to any tile you've been. Yay, I don't have to map! But where's the key? It's nowhere around the bed or the mirror. You would think as you've already searched in the closet and already found something it wouldn't be in there either and you'd be right. No, it's on top of the closet that looks entirely out of Gwydion's reach and has nothing for a visual indicator.

Sigh. Thank you, let's play. Because they sure got stuck here and I sure as hell would have too.

Continuing on! I got the magic wand, grabbed a bowl and utensils from the kitchen and set out to explore.

Another piece of bullshit. Just follow the path you can't see behind the giant boulder. I didn't do too badly coming down here--only a few falls--but going back up I fell several times. Who needs a wizard to kill you when you have a winding mountain path? That point right in front of Gwydion where you essentially need to turn up but can't see is bad. It's not like Gwydion wouldn't be able to see. Bad design is bad.

I found a little dock area with a shop and a tavern.

Dog! Can't pet the mean cat, but can pet the dog and acquire a spell ingredient. There were things to buy all of which I'd need for the spells but I had no money yet.

I kept exploring and found the three bears' house.

Papa Bear wasn't thrilled with me.

And look! You can see the mountain in the background. You can actually see things that are on further off tiles. That improvement in technology.

I kept exploring, picking up a few ingredients on the way. I found a bandit lair up a tree. RNG was a killer here. There's a chance there'll be a bandit in the lair. There's only a narrow platform outside the tree house and so it's extremely easy to fall off when coming out of the place. I died here two or three times before entering to find a bandit asleep. I stole a pouch of money and carried on my merry way.

With money in hand I went back and bought several things. I also went back to the bears' house and this time they were all out but left their porridge on the table. As the standard thieving adventurer I took the porridge that was juuust right.

I had what I needed for the cat cookie and was getting a little worried about time, so I went back, and worried needlessly as it turned out. I still had plenty of time, so rather than waste that I reloaded and went back down to explore more, particularly the desert, as I figured I could at least find the cactus and reptile skin. I did so, but not without some difficulty.

There's a very high chance you'll run into a medusa who will turn you to stone. I had my speed set to fastest which made it next to impossible to react to her before being immediately petrified. You have to make sure not to face her and let her get close enough to show her the mirror. I lowered my speed back down to normal and took a couple tries but got her.

Unfortunately, I got lost in the desert and took too long to find the items, so by the time I got back to the mountain path I only got part way up before Manannan returned and murdered me.

Since I had a better idea of where things were, I reloaded that save and got my desert items much faster a second time.

I was able to make the cat cookie. And then you have to put everything back and hide your stuff before Manannan comes back. So close the secret door with the lever, put the book back, put the wand back and hide all your stuff under your bed as he never enters your room.

Y'know, for how controlling and paranoid he is you would think he would check on your room more, but if he ultimately just murders you anyway, I guess it might not matter that much.

Once he comes back he demands food. And boy do I have food for him! Mix that gross hairy cookie into the porridge and let him have at it.

Yum yum cat cookie porridge.

He makes a much cuter cat.

Now there's more room to breathe. I was going to cast the spells I could cast before leaving. It was a sound plan. I headed back down, started the spell for invisibility! And had nothing I needed so it immediately messed up.

Because I forgot to take all my stuff back.

I reloaded and got my stuff back. Tried again, made it through all the steps and...

realized I forgot to grab the wand back as well.

Then I stopped for the night because I was clearly getting too tired for this.

Now that's a healthy inventory for an adventurer.

I'm still missing mud, mistletoe and an eagle feather to finish all the spells, but I can do some of them at least, so I'll cast those I can do, hopefully without accidental dumb mistakes, before setting out to find my missing ingredients along with my next goal.

Death Counter: 24 (give or take a couple deaths I may have missed from falling or Medusa)

Time Played: 1:35

Points: 90/210

#king's quest #king's quest III #king's quest III: to heir is human #KQIII #KQIII_Log #adventure games #sierra

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sparklywastelandmentality · 7 months

Text

So, this is the first time I have done something like this as far as -actually- deciding to just vent. I love to write and I love to journal and unfortunately sometimes shit happens in life that really just gets under my skin, or I just had a thought about nothing in particular that my mind goes down rabbit holes on that I happen to find interesting. However, I don't always have my journal and pen with me whilst I'm out and about. Sometimes, that shit's a bummer. So yeah, essentially I have decided to come here and talk through some stuff.

Probably like most people, I have problems with emotion management. Anger, more specifically. For as long as I can remember, I have lived most in anger. I imagine I am not alone in this boat. Having been in and out of therapy off and on since I was a teenager, they have all concluded that I have Manic BiPolar Depression. I guess that's different from 'regular' depression somehow? Granted the way I perceive an emotion (whatever it may be) could be different from how my neighbor or husband feels the same emotions. Everyone's different. Living with BPD feels like you're a visitor in your own body. It feels like you're only allowed to pop in and say 'hi' when it gets bored or tired. When I feel that feeling I get a small glimmer of relief until it decides that it wants me to go back in this little box in the corner of my mind. All the high days are great when they happen and low days are still pretty rough, yet have become easier to manage (without medications) as time has continued to drone on. Feeling like I'm not allowed to have control over my emotions and feelings further perpetuates and deepens the loop of what most would call "self-sabotage".

As time has gone on, I have found it easier with time for me to get along with myself for a lack of a better way of putting it. Much like the rest of the world, my upbringing was fucking bullshit. I can't and am REFUSING to speak for anyone else when I say that my flesh portals into this realm were absolute, hot garbage. Both are also to blame for ALMOST EVERYTHING wrong with me. When it came to handling anger, my father had no issue telling you what was on his mind and how dumb you were for trying to do shit that was ill-explained in the beginning prior to starting tasks. He was a screamer and leaned towards the physical side of expressing this emotion in particular. If I were to -try- and take the time to explain to you some of the stories; this post would never end. My mother, on the other hand, when dealing with her anger she's a massively petty and childish individual. Just imagine the stereotypical high school mean girl, add meth and about fifteen to eighteen years and there ya go. Some of the fights we have had in the past had ended with me walking away because I don't want my fucking heartbroken by literally the one person we are all just supposed to trust from day one, by saying and quote, "I was only a bad parent because you didn't come with the instruction manual when you were born." Like, excuse me, bitch? CHILDREN HAVE NEVER EVER come with instruction Manuel's and it should NEVER be the oldest siblings' responsibility to 'step up' to the plate and raise the other sibling(s). Unfortunately, none of us got that choice. And if you were/are in a situation like that, I'm sorry and my heart hurts for you. As forementioned with my father, my mother would probably have to have her own post... DON'T DO METH KIDS!

So yeah, with those two 'shining' examples of homosapiens getting me started in life and watching the way they handled their anger, that's what I thought was okay and acceptable, and having to spend so far eighty-six percent of my life alone, I am having to work super fucking hard to make sure that I don't end up like them and I would say so far so good. Growing up I had a dream about becoming a professional wrestler and I am so thankful to whatever ultimate power there is out there, that I actually get to wake up and be excited about life because I get to say I am the only one in the immediate family that has had a dream as crazy as this (maybe they did, I don't give a shit.) In a weird way, I feel like I'm above them. That may sound crude to those who only read this and will never have the misfortune of meeting my mother (father died, just waiting on the last one to go at this point.) "You shouldn't talk about her that way, she's your mom." Yeah well, just the same as she shouldn't have picked meth over her kids. If she decides to get clean, good for her, if not, still no skin off my shoulders there pal. I'm living my dream, she smoked hers away. She had the chance when she was a junior in High school to become a full-out actual model. She fucked that off by getting her a tattoo just because she wanted it -in the moment- without it thinking about the toll it would have on her life later down the road.

Yeah, I know we're all fucked up, shaken never stirred and always sit a little too far over to the left, and everyone has issues that are similar if not pretty close. I just don't know anyone in real life that I feel I can talk to about these types of things. I would talk to my husband about it but I stopped doing so when I started listening to myself as I talked. Repetition, Repetition, Repetition. I got self-conscious about talking the poor man's ear off about the same stupid shit. As his wife I am supposed to be there and make sure his life is positive and not the other way around. I guess in a weird way, it would be kind of nice to know that I'm not alone right now. In my day to day activities I am the only person I know of who has BPD. Shit is lonely. Almost isolating.

Sorry for the long post if you made it this far, neat! Thanks for indulging me, friends.

#vent post #blog #mental health #dear diary

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8wisewebsite · 2 years

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MASTERING MONEY MADNESS

Hi, everybody. Welcome to Live the 8Wise™ Way podcast with me, Kim Rutherford, psychotherapist and creator of 8Wise™, the methodology for better mental health and wellbeing. Today we are on episode nine and we are going to be talking about mastering money madness. How excited does that sound, because let’s be honest, money tends to make us all go a little bit mad from time to time and today I just want to talk through the reasons for that and things that we can do to try and prevent those issues surrounding money from taking over our brains too much and causing us mental health issues, or certainly mental health deterioration.

So, as always, the episode is based on my 8Wise™ methodology, which if you haven’t done already, you can learn more about, you could head to my website which is www.8wise.co.uk, which gives you some information there or you can purchase one of the books. So 8Wise™ has been turned into a few different books, you can get a copy of what we are calling the mental health manual side of things, which is 8Wise™ Ways to a Healthier, Happier Mind and that’s the book that you can use to follow along with each of these podcast episodes as well. Of course, if you are wanting to commit to developing your mental health and wellbeing using 8Wise™, then not only can you buy the book, but you can also use the 12-week journal which helps you set some very simple goals to achieve over the next 12 weeks, linking into 8Wise™ and the 8Wise™ methodology. If you are looking to change your life entirely and start living your life the 8Wise™ Way, then you can also get a copy of the 12-month planner which helps you to manage your life day to day, month by month, throughout the year, embedding all of the skills, knowledge, and methodologies of the 8Wise™ program. For those of you who are thinking, do you know what I just need a cheeky little reminder every now and then, then you can get yourself a copy of the 8Wise™ wellness pocketbook as well. If you’re wondering where you can get those, well you can pretty much get them anywhere that sells books plus all the big ones, names will not be mentioned, and you can also get a copy from my website too. Again, that is www.8wise.co.uk.

Now, if you already have a copy of the book, then for today’s episode, if you head two page 190 you can follow along and there’s a lot more detail with regards to the topic that we’re talking about today.

So, mastering your money madness. What does money mean to you, and that’s the big question for today really. We are on the final element of the 8Wise™ model, the final element that links into the lifestyle dimension and, in our last episode we talked about occupational wellness, which links us beautifully to financial wellness because, let’s be honest one of the main reasons we all go to work is to earn money and we all go to work to earn the money so that we can then live the life that we want to live. We know what life we want to live if we have gone through all of the previous elements of the 8Wise™ model as well, which has explained to us how we keep a healthy body and mind, it’s taught us about who we are and knowing what our purpose is and what we believe in, it’s helped us to identify what stimulates us and keeps us changing and growing and out of our comfort zone. So far, we’ve also learned about which environment stimulate us and make us feel safe and secure and then we also touched upon which and who are the right people for us to have in our lives as our support system, through our social wellness.

So, so far we should know everything we need to know about ourselves now to keep a healthy mind and the final one is financial wellness, as we’re going to talk about today, mastering money madness.

I guess the first way to start this, and this is how I would work with any one of my clients when they talk about financial issues, is really you need to establish what money means to you and that might seem like a really silly question, but realistically speaking finances and money are one of the number one stressors in the modern world, meaning that a lot of the stress that we have in our life tends to come from financial issues in one way or another. We know that, again I’m going to be talking about the pandemic, but we know that during the pandemic, people were hit quite hard financially. We know we’re entering a recession soon, so we are seeing worse and worse scenarios with regards to finances all the time and we know that financial pressures tend to lead quite strongly towards mental health issues and very, very sadly to worst case scenarios and what we see an increase in suicide linked to issues surrounding financial wellness.

It all starts with understanding what money means to you. Now money can mean lots of different things to lots of different people. For example, some people really just love all of the bling in life, you know, the nice cars, the nice houses or the wonderful handbags, the best shoes. So they might be interested in the status elements and the materialism that comes with money. Absolutely fine, no judgment whatsoever, but it’s important for you to know that if that’s who you are and own that that’s who you are, because then you’ll understand why it’s such a big deal to always be able to afford your car payment because your car means so much to you. For some other people, money might mean security for themselves and safety for themselves. For others, it might mean that they’re able to provide to other people or for other people, or maybe look after their family. For me personally, my financial wellness comes from being able to have some freedom and some independence, knowing that I can look after myself no matter what happens and to not be able to look after myself really worries me and it bothers me and it causes me some stress when it might be threatened. I understand myself from a financial perspective, I know that if suddenly I don’t have enough in the bank, that means that I can look after myself no matter what, that I don’t have to rely on other people, that I can’t be independent that starts to cause me some major issues. It’s demonstrated through all of these different types of things, it’s demonstrated through the fact you might have two different people.

For example, two different people, both with £10,000 pounds in the bank. Now one person might look at that £10,000 and go brilliant, that is fantastic, that is exactly what I need to be able to survive the life I want, to be able to get what I want, it gives me some freedom, it gives me some independence. I feel safe and I feel secure with that £10,000 in the bank. Somebody else might look at that £10,000 in the bank and go, oh my God that is not enough, it’s hardly enough. I can’t look after my kids with that, I can’t give my kids what I want to be able to give them, I can’t provide for my family members as much as I want to with only £10,000 in the bank. Somebody else might look at that £10,000 in the bank and go, well £10,000 is quite nice, it means I can get a couple of handbags and I’m quite happy with that.

So, it means different things to different people when it comes to what money really means to you. If you are wondering, how do I work it out, how do I find out what that is, give this a little go right now. Think about if you won the lottery tomorrow, what five things would you do with your money immediately. So, if you won the lottery tomorrow, what five things would you do with your money immediately. Now put those five things down and then rank them in order of what you would do first and what you would do last. If at the top of your list you’ve identified that you’re going to buy things, then ultimately, right now money means for you some form of status. If you say you are going to go on holiday straight away, then that indicates that money for you represents some freedom. If you’ve put on there straight away I’m going to pay off mom and dad’s mortgage, then that shows you that looking after other people, when the safety and security of others is your priority, when it comes to money. If you say to yourself, you know what I’m probably going to do is save most of it and then invest most of it straight away that indicates to you that money is something that you have because you want to feel safe and you want to feel secure with it.

Ask yourself, if you won the lottery tomorrow, what are you going to spend your money on, what’s the first five things you’ll spend your money on and identify the importance of each of those things, ranking them one to five, and that gives you some indication.

Now, like I said, it’s really important for you to understand what money means to you and what money represents to you before you fall into all of the other trappings of financial wellness and financial wellbeing, because ultimately money and financial wellness all links to stress. As I said, in the modern world, it’s one of the number one stress triggers in the world and it causes most stress on a day-to-day basis and it has a huge, huge implication on people’s mental health and wellbeing.

Understanding, as I said from the beginning, what money means to you starts to help you understand what is going to be your stress trigger related to money, which then means you have some idea of the things you need to implement into your life and into your money management skills and into your financial planning in order to try and prevent that stress or reduce that stress or you know what you have to do if money becomes a problematic situation.

So understanding your financial wellness and what money means to you, helps you to prevent yourself from entering into serious issues with regards to money if you’re in the position to actually start stopping that and preventing that from happening, but it also means you’ll understand better when you are stress triggered and you can implement really good and effective strategies for coming out of that. So, as I said, question number one, what does money mean to you. When you understand what money means to you, you then need to go and understand money and by that I mean you need to develop financial literacy.

Financial literacy is all about the skills and the knowledge linked to money so that when you walk into a bank, you know all of the lingo, you know all the language that they’re going to use, you understand what all of that means. You understand information with regards to credit and debit and things like understanding what your credit score is, that this is language that you understand, that it’s processes that you understand, it’s systems that you understand.

It just means that when you are dealing with your money, you know what to ask for, you know what support to ask for, you know what questions to ask and you know which of these elements really affect your financial income and your payments and things like that. So after you know what money means to you, you need to then understand financial literacy.

There is nothing worse than being in a situation where you were okay financially and then, because you didn’t understand something, you’ve then been seriously affected. I, don’t judge me on this guys, but when I was at university and I had to pay the rent I wasn’t lucky enough to be able to get gigantic big loans and things like that, so I pretty much had to pay my way through uni, I went and worked in debt recovery and I was that horrible person who would ring you up and get you to pay your bills and I’m sorry for anybody I rang, it was just my job I had to pay my own bills. But I learned an awful lot through that was understanding different financial situations.

Now I personally was a mess with money so everything I’m talking to you about today genuinely comes from experience professionally and personally. When I was younger, I did not understand financial literacy. I just didn’t understand it. What I knew is you could go to the bank, you could get a loan out and you had to repay that loan. That’s all I knew. So one day when I was 18 years old and I was legally old enough to go and get a loan that’s exactly what I did. I went and got a loan and I used that loan to help me with my personal situation at the time with regards to paying rent and putting a roof over mine and my sister’s head at the time. But what happened was, I got to a stage where I couldn’t repay that loan and because I was young and I was stupid and I was naive and I didn’t really understand anything, I just stopped making payments because I didn’t have the money coming in, so I just stopped making payments. Eventually, obviously, for those who’ve been in my situation know, if you stop making payments, you go into arrears.

If you can’t pay off those arrears, then that causes major issues and my major issues actually led me to a CCJ at that time, and for those of you who don’t know what a CCJ is, it’s a county court judgment. I had a county court judgment from the age of 21. Now you imagine being in your twenties and you can’t have a bank account, a proper bank account, you’ve got no credit options to you whatsoever. You can’t have credit cards or anything like that. Literally the only bank that would touch me with a barge pole was actually a building society and the only way that I could pay in and pay out was to actually go in and give money and go out and go and be able to take money. I couldn’t do direct debits. I couldn’t do standing orders. The amount of stress that I had in my life because of that situation was humongous.

I was living in a situation where I had to rent, and most places want you to rent either by direct debit or standing order, all of which I wasn’t able to do. Some places wanted me to be able to provide 12 months’ worth of cheques and they would then cash the cheque once a month, all of which I couldn’t do. I had to rely really heavily on friends and family to be able to provide me with those options and sometimes it was just as simple as I would tell them I’d set the standing order up and then I would be rushing around town with hundreds of pounds in my handbag, going to my bank to be able to make these payments because it was the only option I had. Every single week, every single month, my financial situation caused me major, major stress. It caused me major depression because I couldn’t live life, I couldn’t do the things that everybody else needed to do or wanted to do at my age and that stayed with me. It stayed with me for, I think it was seven or eight years.

I remember now very clearly the day that I finally got a credit card, I burst into tears. In fact, who I bank with now I’m so loyal to them because they were the people who gave me a credit card. I couldn’t believe it after seven or eight years that suddenly, finally, I was able to have the normal bank accounts with everything else. Even to this day, I will never take my financial situation for granted ever again and I will never take it for granted because I know how horrific it felt, that fear, that anxiety that would come through and when the bank letters came through the door, that fear and that anxiety when the phone rang just in case it’s someone trying to collect something from you.

I know what it’s like to have a bailiff turn up on your door and they’re looking around your house, identifying what you have in your home that equates to the amount that you owe. I know what that feels like. It’s horrific. It feels horrific and it’s incredibly stressful and a lot of that came from the fact that I didn’t have really good financial literacy.

I didn’t have the knowledge and I didn’t have the skills, I was just really, really naive with regards to money and the fact of the matter is, if I’d had a better understanding, I would’ve known to go and have a conversation with my bank before it got to that stage, not be scared of it, not be ignorant to and actually make some arrangements. When I was working in debt recovery, and I had all of this going on in my own life, I was actually really empathetic towards the other people and I used the time to help them do the one thing that I hadn’t done earlier on in my life, which is the financial planning and helping to educate them on that financial literacy.

When you know what money means to you, and you’ve developed those skills and knowledge with regards to financial literacy that suddenly starts to make you feel like you’re in control, that starts to reduce the anxiety and it builds your confidence because now you know if I’m in a mess I know who to talk to, I know what to do.

So now what you’ve got to do is do the financial planning stage and this is facing realistic situations head on. This is looking at your life and going, okay realistically, what is my current financial situation, and this will mean that you’ve got to do some sort of analysis of what money you’ve got coming in and what money you’ve got going out and maybe think about budgeting and all of those types of things.

When you’ve got a really clear understanding of what your current financial situation is, then it’s about setting financial goals. Those goals might link to what you want to be able to achieve financially in the future and some of those goals might be well, how do I rectify the financial situation that I’m in right now.

A big part of financial planning is actually having a budget and understanding, trying to set up direct debits to pay off your bills, direct debits to pay off any of your debts if you can, trying to manage that debt credit cycle so you are paying off what debt you have rather than getting more and more into debt. The reason I say all of this is that without financial planning, it’s very easy to spend without understanding and knowing what you’re spending and then what happens is it leads to these issues with regards to finances and what we’re trying to do is, if we can try and get in front of the game and we understand the literacy and we know our own financial situation and we know where we want to be, and we know the things we can do to get there we feel less stressed out about the money because we feel like we’re in control of it all and as I said, that’s really, really important.

If you haven’t done so yet, I highly recommend that you start a budget. Look at it, you can actually go online, you can go online and you can find so many different budget forms. You can find so many websites that will help you develop a budget. I highly recommend you go and do that and start that for yourself. I’d say for the next three months, just really keep a close eye on what’s coming in and what you are spending. Just focus on that to start with. Then when you know what that looks like over about a three-month process, maybe then start looking at okay If I’m spending too much, what could I change, where could I save the pennies a little bit more. So look at savings. Look at things that you don’t need. Get back down to basics. Maybe choose some different shops to shop from, do what you can in that financial planning stage so that you are starting to make the changes you want to change, or you need to change in order to reach those financial goals that you might have.

When you’ve done all of that, you then need to move on to the next stage and the next stage is money management. This is about making sure you’ve got access to all the tools and techniques that you need in order to manage your money effectively so that it meets your financial plans, it means that you are understanding that financial literacy well enough and putting it into practice with these tools and techniques and skills that you now have and it means that no matter what, you are always focusing on reducing the stress linked to what money actually means to you.

I have so many clients come into me with high levels of stress and anxiety, especially linked around jobs for example. Those people who are worried about not doing a good enough job in the workplace. When we always delve deeper, and we always do, we always delve deeper, and we delve deeper, and we delve deeper, one of the biggest things that comes out pretty much anybody who’s got major stress at work is the fear of losing their job. Because if they lose their job, then they would lose their income stream and if they lose their income stream, that then triggers all of those different things that is linked to what money means to them.

I have a lot of parents who come in and their fear is that they won’t be able to provide for their kids. I have those people who just think, oh my God it means that I’d have to rely on my own parents again and I will lose all my freedom. So when we start to look at all of the stress that comes from other areas in our life, it’s then really useful to identify well how many of those also link to the financial implications. Finances, when we’re looking at it from a psychological perspective, actually link in to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and it’s right at the foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Ultimately, we want to feel safe and we want to feel secure and in order to do that in our society, we need money and therefore, anything that could affect us from getting an income stream, that could affect the amount of money that we are getting, that triggers that primitive response with regards to safety and security. That just happens to be safety and security looks different for lots of different people and again, whatever money means to you, there’s no judgment on you whatsoever, it’s your life, money can mean whatever you want it to mean to you, but it is really important that you understand that, own that, and live your life by that.

That’s why financial wellness sits within the lifestyle dimension, but it triggers and affects all the other elements of the 8Wise™ model as well. As I said, financial wellness will trigger emotional wellness without doubt the amount of stress that can be linked to it. Therefore, it triggers our physical wellness because, as we know, anything that affects us on a mind perspective or mentally it’s going to affect us physically. Money, and links to money, can really affect our value base and who we are and our identity. I mean, I work with a lot of people, senior people, who have worked up the ladder to those CEO roles with that certain financial income stream coming in, then they have to retire and suddenly it’s not just then losing their title, which is affecting their spiritual wellness, but suddenly they lose that income stream as well. So who are they now without that income stream, who are they now without that big salary, those big bonuses. Money really plays a huge part in our identity and therefore it heavily influences our spiritual wellness as well.

Money is what we have to spend to do all of the things we want to do. All of those hobbies and all of those interests that help stimulate our mind and keep us intellectually well, they all come at a price of money. So having no money or having issues around money, then triggers our intellectual wellness too.

When it comes to safe environments, there are lots of people that, unless they have financial support, can’t get out of unsafe environments and we can’t necessarily always create the safe environments if we don’t have the money to support us in doing that. Then we have social systems at the end of the day. If we want to spend time with people, you can argue spending time with people is free, but let’s be honest, most of us want to do exciting things with our people and a lot of family situations or situations with friends actually come from money. Lending people money that we didn’t want to lend money to, or lending money to people we don’t get paid back and this causes relationship issues, which then causes major stress, which opens the gateway to that plethora of mental health issue as well.

We know at the end of the day, occupational wellness wise, we’re in work because we want to earn money to live the life we want to live, the amount of stress that comes from not hitting a bonus each month or not getting the pay rise that you deserved, or the fear of redundancy, all of that links to financial wellness and the fear of losing money.

So people ask me an awful lot, Kim why does financial wellness play such a huge role in what you’re calling a mental health and wellbeing model. Because whether we like it or not, money makes the world go round and because it makes the world go round it implements itself firmly within our lives and firmly within our stress triggers.

I work with my clients and when we start to understand what money means to them, we start to look at what was their knowledge and understanding of money when they were growing up. It’s always quite interesting to see those that have always had money, how hungry they are to still have money and for those who never had money, how driven they are to have that safety and security with money in the future as well.

So, you’ve got to look at your life and go, am I mastering this money madness for myself, am I reducing the amount of stress that is in my life that is linked to my financial wellness, do I know what money means to me, do I have good skills and knowledge with regards to financial literacy, do I know how to create a financial plan, do I understand my current situation realistically with open mind and open eyes. Do I know what I want to achieve with money and how I’m going to get there and do I have good money management tools and skills. If the answer to all of those is no I don’t, no I don’t, no I don’t then you know right now where you need to start, you need to start with that one. What it means to you. You need to develop financial literacy, you need to start financial planning and you need to go and get the tools to help you manage your money effectively.

As I said, financial wellness and money is one of the biggest triggers of stress in the world and as I’ve said multiple times, stress itself is not a mental health issue, but it is certainly a big gateway to many mental health issues and if you already experience a mental health issue, you already know that financial issues don’t help that in any way, shape or form. When we’re looking at the continuum of mental health and we’re looking at going from thriving and excelling down to crisis, you might have somebody on an everyday basis that is firmly in the middle at the survival zone and just a bad month with regards to money can take them into crisis. I was watching a friend’s Facebook page only a couple of days, they were very upset on Facebook and what they did is they shared this video of a friend of theirs filming themselves, just explaining a few things and what that video was, was actually a video taken just a few minutes before this person had taken their own life due to financial issues, not knowing what to do, not knowing who to turn to, not knowing who to talk to, just feeling so lost and so alone because money and money issues was causing them so much pain. I don’t want that for people. I’m sure you don’t want that for people.

As I said, money makes the world go round and it can make us all feel really mad and I mean, mad in all of the senses, mad in angry and mad in chaos as well. So learning to master your money will hopefully help you to look after your mental health and wellbeing and develop a healthier, happier mind, and also lead to a better quality of life for you, for your family and also your friends and all the loved ones around you as well. So please, please, please, if you haven’t done it already, start to look at how you can develop your financial wellness and start reducing that stress and start Living the 8Wise™ Way for better mental health and wellness.

I hope that one has been useful for you. I can’t believe we’re at episode nine already. Join me next week for episode 10, which I’m not telling you about now because it’s going to be all a surprise on the day.

Little competition time for you now. If you would like to get a free signed copy of my 8Wise™ Ways to a Healthier, Happier Mind book, then you just need to do the following. Follow me on my LinkedIn page, follow me on my Twitter page, follow me on my Facebook page and follow me on my Instagram page. You will find me everywhere either as Kim Rutherford or @8Wise something, so it will be @8WiseKim or @8WiseTherapy or @8Wise. Follow me there, support the posts that are linked to the podcast and then the big one, this is the big one that I want you to do, I would love it if you would share the podcast with 10 people on those platforms and tag me into the post. So, share the podcast with 10 people on the social media platforms and tag me into the post. The first 10 people who do that, I will get you a signed copy of the book sent out to you ASAP.

So get on that and do it, or just follow me anyway, why not just follow me anyway, where I give you day to day tips with regards to 8Wise™ and helping you to Live the 8Wise™ Way as well.

Now, if you want more information, please head to www.8wise.co.uk. There you’ll find all of the books that you can access, you’ll get all of the episodes of the podcast as well so you can listen back to those. There is so much free resource for you as well plus the 8Wise™ evaluations so that you can learn to identify where your current level of wellness is so you can actually look at where you might be with regards to that mental health spectrum. That’s all there at www.8wise.co.uk.

Some exciting news is that I’m currently recording the audio version of 8Wise™ Ways to a Healthier, Happier Mind, and that should be available in the autumn. If you are somebody who likes to listen rather than read, then absolutely fine, that is coming to you very, very soon and I hope that you love listening to that when it does come out. If you do want to listen to more, and this is your first episode of Live the 8Wise™ Way, then you are at episode nine so head back and start listening from the beginning at episode one, where you will learn all about the 8Wise™ model and how it can affect your mental health and wellbeing.

What I would really, really love you to do is, if you don’t mind, why not subscribe now to Live the 8Wise™ Ways podcast so that you can always know when a new episode is coming out. It would be great if you would like the podcast or all of the episodes, whichever one you want to do and I would love it if you shared, it, told your friends and family about it and would leave me a little review as well. That would be fantastic.

I always say this, there’s one in four people who are currently experiencing a mental health issue, which means three in four people are always at risk. 8Wise™ was developed to help the one in four experiencing mental health issues but it’s also been developed to be used as a prevention model for those who are trying to prevent mental health issues from developing so we look after the one in four, and we’re trying to look after the three in four as well. But we can only do that if we reach as many people as we possibly can so I’m really, really relying on everybody listening to this, to share and review and get the message out there and get the news out there that mental health can be looked after if you choose to Live the 8Wise™ Way.

Now another way that you can be able to Live the 8Wise™ Way moving forward, and I’m really, really excited about this is, as of next year I am going to be traveling around delivering 8Wise™ training, and you will also be able to access 8Wise™ training online as well.

If you are someone who’s really loved listening to the podcast and would really like to learn an awful lot more and almost have me as your own personal psychotherapist within a group format, then you will be able to book on 2-hour training courses as of September. A lot of those training courses will be available from early 2023 and, as I said, the face to face courses are going to be delivered around the country later next year as well so I would love to see you there. I would love you to come on and learn to Live the 8Wise™ Way with me personally and I can take you through all of the tools and techniques that I share with my one-to-one clients as well.

So that’s it. Episode nine, mastering money madness. Go ahead and start looking after your finances in order to look after your mind.

Thank you so much for joining me. Kim Rutherford psychotherapist, author, podcast host and, most importantly, the creator of the 8Wise™ method.

I hope you have a great month and I look forward to seeing you at our next episode of Live the 8Wise™ Way.

Take care and bye for now.

https://8wise.co.uk way is meant to help you to manage potential turbulences, triggers, and traumas, so that you can continue to work towards a state of optimal mental health. It helped me, it has helped my clients, and I passionately believe that it can help you too.

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tech-and-life-bean · 2 years

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Before Selecting a CRM, Consider These 11 Questions

You’ve made the choice to jump in and sign up for a Customer Relationship Management (CRM) system. I guess the days of keeping track of customer information on notecards, spreadsheets, and emails are gone.

Take it slow!

A CRM is not a magic wand that can be “turned on” to instantly solve all of your issues; in fact, without a well-thought-out plan, you might be setting yourself up for even more frustration.

In order to help you make a wise choice, I’ve listed the most crucial questions to consider in this post.

1. Are We Ready for a CRM in My Company?

You most likely already know what you want to do if you are reading this article. I won’t try to dissuade you from using a CRM, of course, but you should at least consider how your team will react to a potential system. The discussion should without a doubt take the company culture and technological skill levels into consideration.

2. What Qualities Must Exist?

Numerous CRM solutions can be found quickly online, each promising more sophisticated features than the last. Avoid ignoring the fundamentals despite the fact that a feature-rich application can offer immeasurable value.

According to my observations, the majority of businesses should have at least these attributes:

Administration of contacts, opportunities, and accounts

Record Linking

Reminders and Tasks

Multiple User Login

Management of the Sales Team

Customization and Reporting for Pipelines

Compare vendors first who provide these features across all plan tiers. You might not want to shortlist vendors who restrict access to these features (or don’t offer them).

3. Which data structure do I have?

The term “data structure” may be unfamiliar to you unless you work for a tech company, but it’s critical to be very familiar with it in today’s tech-driven world.

I am by no means a software developer, though. However, from my perspective, your data structure is simply how your business relationships translate to software, whereas programmers would likely give you a much more detailed definition of “data structure.”

Think about owning a small insurance company, for illustration. The typical complexity of relationships in an agency can number in the thousands. The list of sources never seems to end: business clients, clients on the personal line, underwriters, recommendations from friends and family. Therefore, setting up a CRM from scratch is challenging.

Slow down the process and make an effort to see the bigger picture before you become too overwhelmed. Search for patterns that could help you organize your data in a CRM. For our hypothetical insurance company, I might suggest the basic record structure that is listed below.

Organize each person’s contact information.

Connect contacts with the appropriate organizations

Label businesses as necessary (clients, suppliers, etc.).

Create a contact tagging structure for personal lines (home, auto, life, etc.).

Establish pipelines and start opportunity tracking.

The implementation of a CRM is much easier to handle with such a framework in place.

4. How Am I Going to Import Current Data?

For the majority of businesses, manually entering hundreds or thousands of records is impractical. Even then, errors are still possible when entering data manually.

Fortunately, a wide range of data import options are provided by most CRMs. For instance, Insightly enables you to import from a CSV file or by connecting to your current contact management system. In either case, you should research thoroughly before importing your first record. Prior to uploading your contacts in bulk, try importing some test data.

Taking advantage of this opportunity could be a great way to efficiently record your contact and organizational tags. Look into whether tagging is possible at this time if you’re using a CSV import. Future labor hours could be reduced if this were done.

5. Which integrations do I require?

There are third-party integrations available, which is another benefit of web-based CRM software. Integrations might not have much of an impact on your company if you’re new to the software industry. The majority of businesses today are already using a variety of other apps, even though they might not be aware of it.

Keep in mind that your CRM will act as the “hub” for all information regarding your customers, sales, and (in some cases) project management. By automatically “feeding” information to and from your hub, significant efficiencies can be realized (if done correctly, your team may even check the system more frequently than social media). Typical instances include:

Integrating all email correspondence with contact record histories

importing estimates and suggestions for opportunity records

Including integration with outside document management databases

Delivering fresh leads to your systems for bulk email marketing

Synchronizing tasks and events with mobile calendars

The options appear to be limitless. Prioritizing your wish list after exploring what is feasible is crucial when selecting your CRM. Don’t extract too much at once.

6. Who Requires Entry?

There are several advantages to moving your sales data to the cloud. Accessibility is a clearly beneficial factor. Users have access to crucial data simultaneously from any web-enabled device, unlike email inboxes or spreadsheets.

New options are presented to you with greater accessibility. In your company, who needs access to the CRM? Which users ought to have administrative rights? The task of allocating new leads will fall to whom?

There are several reasons why these are crucial questions to think about. Many CRM plans allot a set number of user licenses in order to be more financially feasible. Because each paid plan with Insightly allows for unlimited users, it stands out from other similar services. If you didn’t choose more features, your per-user cost doesn’t rise as you add more employees.

Consider these queries from the perspective of data security as well. Regarding data security, you should also consider these queries. Even more, some businesses limit access to just the user-required records. This strategy necessitates more administrative oversight, but it can lessen the possibility of unwelcome security issues (or turf wars).

7. Who Will “Own” The CRM, exactly?

You must determine who will “own” your CRM account once you’ve decided on user access. It’s possible for chaos to occur when dozens of potential users have access to your system constantly. One person must be in charge of your investment’s success or failure. Choose a dependable person who is familiar with the fundamentals of technology. The ideal candidate would also be qualified to serve as a leader in these fields:

Implementation Your choice of CRM may have a significant impact on how your implementation goes. Others take a DIY approach and provide step-by-step instructions for success. Some vendors demand that you work with an “approved” In either case, you require an internal project manager who can tie things together.

Employers hire and fire personnel. But after implementation, your CRM will continue to benefit your business. Smart businesses make ongoing investments in employee training and education materials. Workflows, regulations, and standards must be specified by your CRM owner. Then, as procedures change, this information should be made available to users and regularly updated.

What should happen in the case of an unintentional deletion of several customer records by a sales representative? Do you have a system in place to keep an eye on this sort of undesirable activity? Your administrator ought to follow a procedure for looking for (and punishing) policy violations. Your business and your data are both yours. Guard it.

Protection How frequently should your users change their passwords? Can users export customer information in CSV format? Which additional CRM-related risks will you have to deal with? These kinds of queries ought to be on the mind of your CRM owner at all times. It’s his responsibility to ask for the right resources if he doesn’t already know the answers.

8. Should I Hire a Consultant?

The need for a consultant is largely determined by the circumstances. A consultant can be helpful in creating a logical data structure, importing customer records, and directing implementation for smaller businesses with little IT experience. A consultant can create new capacity for larger businesses while minimizing needless resource shifting.

If either of these situations applies to your business, a consultant might be a great fit. If you’re just beginning your search, bear in mind that consultants frequently present themselves as one of the following:

CRM-specific advisors

IT specialists (not CRM specialists)

Sales process advisors

It might be a good idea to work with a licensed consultant if you’ve selected a highly complex CRM system. But keep in mind that licensed experts frequently demand exorbitant hourly rates.

Furthermore, when interviewing candidates, make sure to ask lots of questions. A sales consultant would not be the best choice if you required technical assistance. In the same way, hiring an IT consultant would not be wise if you wanted to scale your lead management. Finding a good match will be easier once you are aware of your own needs.

9. How much will this cost?

Some CRMs require you to pass several hoops before receiving a quote. Some companies list their prices on their websites, but they omit to give a thorough description of each feature. Because of these factors, determining the actual cost can occasionally be difficult.

Choosing a vendor is easy if they have clear features and pricing. Think about the pricing page for Insightly. Customers-to-be can register for a free account or examine a number of premium plans. The most notable is the There are numerous features listed in the helpful “Features Included in All Plans” section that are available to all accounts. Without ever speaking to a pushy sales representative, you have access to all the information you need to make an informed choice.

Regardless of the system you choose, you should also account for indirect costs like:

Consultation costs

Costs of training

Subscriptions for integrating third parties

Opportunity costs

The total cost (CRM fees plus indirect costs) should be compared to the anticipated benefit from using our CRM. Hopefully, the math makes your investment worthwhile.

10. Is This System Capable of Meeting My Future Needs?

The nature of your company is dynamic. In fact, I bet you’re working on some major future plans.

It’s crucial to think about whether a CRM will meet your needs going forward with this in mind. Does the software provide business-level plans? Could the system support a growth of two or three times in terms of users and records? In terms of its development roadmap, does the vendor seem aggressive, or does the business rarely announce new features?

Don’t settle for a CRM that only caters to your needs right now. The process of moving a CRM can be complicated. Although it is possible, the long-term costs of switching to a better system at the beginning may be significantly higher. Reviewing your long-term objectives in the context of each CRM you’re thinking about should take some time.

11. How Can I Calculate ROI?

According to experts, CRM technology is essential for businesses that want to expand. Theoretically, that’s fantastic, but how will you demonstrate it in practice for your own company?

At a high level, CRMs are made to support the achievement of two objectives: raising sales and lowering acquisition costs. Even if you have never used a CRM before, measuring sales growth is not too difficult. Produce revenue reports for the previous eight quarters using your accounting software. This will provide a starting point from which you can evaluate your CRM reports.

Cost of acquisition measurement is a little more challenging. The cost of travel, marketing expenses, and some types of labor expenses can all be crucial metrics to keep an eye on. Naturally, one could contend that the cost-per-sale is moving in the right direction if gross sales revenue significantly rises while overhead stays the same.

Create a recurring task to examine ROI-focused metrics on a regular basis. Include milestones, email reminders, and links to significant sales data. You can then hold yourself (and your team) responsible for ensuring the highest possible return on investment.

#areteautomation #marketingautomation #business #marketing #startup

Credits: Nellie Ann Mones Date: July 4, 2022 Source: https://nellieannswork.blogspot.com/2022/07/before-selecting-crm-consider-these-11.html

0 notes

joanwebautomation · 2 years

Text

Before Selecting a CRM, Consider These 11 Questions

Take it slow!

A CRM is not a magic wand that can be “turned on” to instantly solve all of your issues; in fact, without a well-thought-out plan, you might be setting yourself up for even more frustration.

In order to help you make a wise choice, I’ve listed the most crucial questions to consider in this post.

1. Are We Ready for a CRM in My Company?

2. What Qualities Must Exist?

According to my observations, the majority of businesses should have at least these attributes:

Administration of contacts, opportunities, and accounts

Record Linking

Reminders and Tasks

Multiple User Login

Management of the Sales Team

Customization and Reporting for Pipelines

Compare vendors first who provide these features across all plan tiers. You might not want to shortlist vendors who restrict access to these features (or don’t offer them).

3. Which data structure do I have?

The term “data structure” may be unfamiliar to you unless you work for a tech company, but it’s critical to be very familiar with it in today’s tech-driven world.

Organize each person’s contact information.

Connect contacts with the appropriate organizations

Label businesses as necessary (clients, suppliers, etc.).

Create a contact tagging structure for personal lines (home, auto, life, etc.).

Establish pipelines and start opportunity tracking.

The implementation of a CRM is much easier to handle with such a framework in place.

4. How Am I Going to Import Current Data?

For the majority of businesses, manually entering hundreds or thousands of records is impractical. Even then, errors are still possible when entering data manually.

5. Which integrations do I require?

Integrating all email correspondence with contact record histories

importing estimates and suggestions for opportunity records

Including integration with outside document management databases

Delivering fresh leads to your systems for bulk email marketing

Synchronizing tasks and events with mobile calendars

The options appear to be limitless. Prioritizing your wish list after exploring what is feasible is crucial when selecting your CRM. Don’t extract too much at once.

6. Who Requires Entry?

7. Who Will “Own” The CRM, exactly?

8. Should I Hire a Consultant?

CRM-specific advisors

IT specialists (not CRM specialists)

Sales process advisors

It might be a good idea to work with a licensed consultant if you’ve selected a highly complex CRM system. But keep in mind that licensed experts frequently demand exorbitant hourly rates.

9. How much will this cost?

Regardless of the system you choose, you should also account for indirect costs like:

Consultation costs

Costs of training

Subscriptions for integrating third parties

Opportunity costs

The total cost (CRM fees plus indirect costs) should be compared to the anticipated benefit from using our CRM. Hopefully, the math makes your investment worthwhile.

10. Is This System Capable of Meeting My Future Needs?

The nature of your company is dynamic. In fact, I bet you’re working on some major future plans.

11. How Can I Calculate ROI?

According to experts, CRM technology is essential for businesses that want to expand. Theoretically, that’s fantastic, but how will you demonstrate it in practice for your own company?

#areteautomation #marketingautomation #emailmarketing

Credits by: Nellie Ann Mones

Date: July 4, 2022

Source: https://nellieannswork.blogspot.com/2022/07/before-selecting-crm-consider-these-11.html

0 notes

nellieannmones · 2 years

Text

Before Selecting a CRM, Consider These 11 Questions

Take it slow!

A CRM is not a magic wand that can be “turned on” to instantly solve all of your issues; in fact, without a well-thought-out plan, you might be setting yourself up for even more frustration.

In order to help you make a wise choice, I’ve listed the most crucial questions to consider in this post.

1. Are We Ready for a CRM in My Company?

2. What Qualities Must Exist?

According to my observations, the majority of businesses should have at least these attributes:

Administration of contacts, opportunities, and accounts

Record Linking

Reminders and Tasks

Multiple User Login

Management of the Sales Team

Customization and Reporting for Pipelines

Compare vendors first who provide these features across all plan tiers. You might not want to shortlist vendors who restrict access to these features (or don’t offer them).

3. Which data structure do I have?

The term “data structure” may be unfamiliar to you unless you work for a tech company, but it’s critical to be very familiar with it in today’s tech-driven world.

Organize each person’s contact information.

Connect contacts with the appropriate organizations

Label businesses as necessary (clients, suppliers, etc.).

Create a contact tagging structure for personal lines (home, auto, life, etc.).

Establish pipelines and start opportunity tracking.

The implementation of a CRM is much easier to handle with such a framework in place.

4. How Am I Going to Import Current Data?

For the majority of businesses, manually entering hundreds or thousands of records is impractical. Even then, errors are still possible when entering data manually.

5. Which integrations do I require?

Integrating all email correspondence with contact record histories

importing estimates and suggestions for opportunity records

Including integration with outside document management databases

Delivering fresh leads to your systems for bulk email marketing

Synchronizing tasks and events with mobile calendars

The options appear to be limitless. Prioritizing your wish list after exploring what is feasible is crucial when selecting your CRM. Don’t extract too much at once.

6. Who Requires Entry?

7. Who Will “Own” The CRM, exactly?

8. Should I Hire a Consultant?

CRM-specific advisors

IT specialists (not CRM specialists)

Sales process advisors

It might be a good idea to work with a licensed consultant if you’ve selected a highly complex CRM system. But keep in mind that licensed experts frequently demand exorbitant hourly rates.

9. How much will this cost?

Regardless of the system you choose, you should also account for indirect costs like:

Consultation costs

Costs of training

Subscriptions for integrating third parties

Opportunity costs

The total cost (CRM fees plus indirect costs) should be compared to the anticipated benefit from using our CRM. Hopefully, the math makes your investment worthwhile.

10. Is This System Capable of Meeting My Future Needs?

The nature of your company is dynamic. In fact, I bet you’re working on some major future plans.

11. How Can I Calculate ROI?

According to experts, CRM technology is essential for businesses that want to expand. Theoretically, that’s fantastic, but how will you demonstrate it in practice for your own company?

Take Action with a CRM

After considering these issues, it’s probably time to get going and test a few CRMs. A free trial is frequently provided by CRMs, which is very beneficial. Make sure to make the most of your trial period, involve numerous stakeholders, and come to a well-informed decision. In the end, you ought to select the platform that has the best features, offers the most potential for development, and facilitates greater productivity for all users.

#areteautomation #business #marketing #startup

0 notes

delimeful · 3 years

Text

Snapshot: Release

new WIBAR Snapshot!

warnings: mention of trafficking, PTSD, mentions of funeral rites, catharsis, crying, sad hours

Patton liked to think himself an optimist, but even he could admit that there were some days where things were bad.

He didn’t like to, of course. Gratitude was a virtue in Ampen culture, and he had carried it with him gladly when he first started spacefaring. It was easy, most days, to find something to be grateful for and thank the sea’s tidings.

Most days.

Though it had taken time, Patton had learned to loosen his grip on the idea of the foam edge, the bright side to a bad situation. He still found the cup half-full, of course, but he also knew that sometimes things were hard, and it was okay to be sad about that.

He was still getting to the part where he told others when he was sad, but that was okay! He was working on it, and as Logan always said, growth took time.

A few rotations after Virgil and him were reunited with his best friends, Virgil had one of those days.

It had started innocuously enough. Patton had been sprawled over Virgil’s legs, continuing his not-so-secret agenda to show Roman and Logan exactly what kind of Human Virgil was. Not harmless, certainly, but-- what was the Common word? Disciplined.

They both knew how easily Virgil could hurt him, could hurt any of them. Patton had been there watching while they escaped, when Virgil slammed into aliens much stronger than an Ampen with unforgiving force. There was no question of his capability for violence, when faced with a threat.

But that was just it. Virgil knew he could hurt them, even through simple carelessness, and he worked so hard not to.

It was clear in every movement. How could Patton feel the subtle tremor in Virgil’s hands when he held him, the attentive stillness of his body when Patton perched on him, the careful softness of his fingers carding through feathers, and feel anything but treasured?

Virgil had protected Patton with everything he had, and Patton was going to return the favor however he could. That’s what friends were for, after all.

So, Patton was nestled into the crook of Virgil’s legs, listening intently as he told a story from back home, occasionally piping in with questions or a story of his own.

Logan would have metaphorically killed for the opportunity to even just listen in on these firsthand Deathworlder anecdotes, but Virgil was still avoiding the Ulgorian with skillful determination. It was a little saddening, but Patton knew better than to push.

Everything was still settling down from their last incident; he didn’t want to disrupt the delicate balance again by shoving Virgil out of his comfort zone.

Instead, he just listened, happy to see the little differences that had overcome his friend since they’d finally gotten free of that horrible cell.

This was far from the first time they’d sat around storytelling.

There was little else to do in their cell, and besides, it was one of the fastest ways to share words, telling tales tall and small and only pausing whenever a word didn’t quite translate or their voices went out. Back then, though, Virgil had shared his stories with an almost bittersweet air about him.

It reminded Patton of the way Crav’n held wakes, long stretches of time spent gathered around their pyre, sharing stories, remembering and honoring the deceased in every way they could. It was as though Virgil was giving up those little pieces of himself in advance, for someone to remember after he was gone. As though he was performing his own funerary rites.

His coatfeathers fluffed up sharply at the thought, and he shuddered a few times to try and settle them back into place. That time was past, Virgil was safe, and so it bore no further thought.

Unaware of the way Patton’s attention had strayed, Virgil ran a hand over his back, shifting feathers back into alignment with surprising delicacy for such a large being. Patton trilled lowly in pleased gratitude, wishing wholeheartedly that Roman would stop glaring long enough to notice this aspect of the Mindscape’s newest resident. They could get along so well if they gave each other a chance, he just knew it…

“Hey, Patton?” Virgil asked, shifting from the bright, long vowels of Patton’s native language to the lower register he used for his own home tongue. Patton perked his antennae up to show his friend that he had his undivided attention; Virgil usually only used English when he was asking something he didn’t want anyone else to overhear.

Nobody was nearby to listen, but that didn’t stop Virgil from casting a guilty look over his shoulder when he admitted, “I snuck into the map room yesterday.”

The ‘map room’ must have been referring to the nav room, where they plotted courses. It had a manual pilot control station as well, which was why Roman had been safeguarding it from Virgil as though he thought the Human would suddenly take up space piracy and seize control of their vessel.

Patton certainly didn’t have any problem with trusting Virgil in there, so he didn’t even twitch at the confession, only narrowing his eyes in silent encouragement for his friend to continue.

Just as Patton no longer shied away from bared teeth, Virgil no longer assumed narrowed eyes signified anger or doubt. He had picked up on a fair amount of Ampen body language during the course of their friendship, and so his lips quirked to the side slightly before he took the invitation to explain.

“I just wanted to know where we were, I guess. It was difficult to make sense of the maps-- It’s not like I’ve had a lot of opportunities to check them out on any of the other ships I’ve been on,” he said, and only the way his eyes rolled up slightly told Patton he was mostly-joking, the hesitant way he did sometimes.

Patton knew their time spent with the smugglers was something everyone on the ship would prefer to forget, including them, but things like that changed a person. They couldn’t be denied. If small, slightly-bitter jokes like this one were how Virgil honored that change, Patton could support it.

“I’d be mappalled with their terrible hosting skills, if I were you,” he chimed in, and he couldn’t help the way his feathers’ glow increased at the sight of Virgil’s smile, even muffled behind a hand. “Do you want to learn how to read the maps?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered, unable to conceal the too-quick way he leapt on the opportunity. There was a pause, his face going slightly pink, but Patton didn’t comment, feeling a swell of sympathy in his upper heart. It was hard to remember sometimes, with how adjusted Patton was to the wayfarer lifestyle, that Virgil was immeasurably far from everything he’d ever known.

“I mean, yeah,” he corrected, clearing his throat in a way that Patton had once mistaken for a growl, “but that’s not actually-- I was trying to see if I could recognize anything. Any stars, or-- or planets, y’know?”

He was avoiding eye contact now, staring at a distant point. He hadn’t moved his hand, which meant that Patton could feel the tremble in it when he butted his head into the point of contact. He crooned soothingly, the type of sound a parent would use to soothe a hatchling.

“I, um. Well, I figured if I knew how far it was, I could figure out how much it would cost to make that sort of…,” he fumbled for a word Patton would know, slipping back into Common for a few words, “extra trip. But I couldn’t find anything familiar. So, I... I thought I’d ask. Like I probably should have in the first place.”

Patton waited, but that seemed to be all Virgil could manage. “Ask what?” he prompted gently. “Space is big, but if there’s certain skysights you miss, I’m sure we can get started on finding them! What are you looking for?”

Virgil’s attention dropped down to him and then flitted away again, not a single sign that he’d even heard Patton’s pun. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and then dragged his gaze back to meet Patton’s.

“... Earth?” he managed, in one of the smallest voices Patton had ever heard from him.

Oh.

Patton’s antennae flicked back in dread before he could stop them, and Virgil’s face twitched slightly, making an expression that he’d never seen before. His chin had dimpled, his jaw clenched, tense as though waiting for a blow.

Waiting for Patton to tell him he couldn’t go home.

This wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it, Patton realized. Far from it, it seemed as though Virgil had been cradling this question like an egg surrounded by downy feathers, keeping it tucked away, waiting desperately to be secure enough, safe enough to ask. To try hoping for a future again.

He was so afraid to want, and Patton couldn’t help but whine slightly, because this time, he was right to fear the worst.

They couldn’t go to Earth. Patton knew, because it was the first thing he’d talked to Roman and Logan about, that first day, as soon as Virgil had retired to his new room.

It wasn’t a matter of should or would. They couldn’t, not even if they all agreed to try, not even if they were willing to go directly against the council’s edicts. They didn’t have the equipment to get past the barricade undetected, they didn’t have the knowledge to slip between patrols, they didn’t even have the cloaking capabilities they’d need to land on an uninformed planet. They didn’t have enough funds to try and obtain any of those.

Honestly, they were barely scraping by as it was. Roman and Logan had halted their normal cargo runs to search for him, and their savings had suffered as a result. It was part of the reason they had been taking more jobs, any they could find that wouldn’t put them in the sights of any potential Human-hunters.

He’d done his best to shield Virgil from realizing just how much his presence had changed their routine, but going by the way he thought he’d have to pay them just to get back to a home he never should have been stolen from in the first place, he hadn’t been successful.

Patton glanced to the door with a half-formed desire to go get Logan, who had patiently walked Patton through every possible scenario until it sunk in that they really, truly couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t fair. Patton had chosen this life, and he could still go home, and see his family, and greet the ocean breeze. Virgil hadn’t had a choice in anything, hadn’t had the freedom that spacefaring brought so many, and now he didn’t have the option to return home, either.

“It’s not— I don’t want to leave you,” Virgil forced out, looking a little frantic. “I mean, we’re friends, right?”

He used the Ampen version of the word, the one that translated literally to ‘treasured one’, and could be used by any who had bonded closely, blood or nest-sharing aside. Patton nodded firmly, mouth clamped shut to keep from sobbing.

“Right,” Virgil continued, near-pleading, “so it’s not you, I promise, and I can find a way to pay back my debts, I know Roman wants me gone and Logan wants s-samples, and I can do that. It’s fine, it’s worth it, just… I miss home. So bad. Even the parts I used to hate.”

“I’m sorry,” Patton said in the most honorable way he had, the low, agonized call of I repent and I regret. “If we could— I promise we would, Virgil. It’s not your fault, you have no debts here. You deserve to go home.”

Virgil’s face was miserable to even witness, the way faltering hope had been crushed under the weight of his worst suspicions being confirmed. Patton reached for him automatically, his attempts to comfort his friend coming out as a soft empathetic cry instead, and that wounded sound was all it took for Virgil’s self-control to finally break.

He crumpled all at once, a breezecatcher with its tether cut, crashing to the sand below. The top of his head butted gently against Patton’s side, a mirror of the way Patton so often sought comfort from him, and he began to cry in earnest, as though releasing months of built-up misery.

Disciplined, Patton remembered with a pang of bitter sorrow, and let his Deathworlder finally weep for everything that had been taken from him.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #wibar #wibar snapshots #ws #ts virgil #ts patton #platonic moxiety #writing #my writing #release #angst

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pascalpanic · 3 years

Note

Lovely Josie! Can I request a Frankie piece? Where reader is part of the friend group and really into Frankie. She knows he's also into her but just typical insecure Frankie. So she flirts with him and tries to seduce him every chance she gets until one day she's had enough and really goes for it. And if course Frankie likes it 😇 Merci!

Spicy-Sweet (Frankie Catfish Morales x f!Reader)

summary: ^^

W/C: 4.3K

Warnings: lots of talk of alcohol, food, god Frankie’s an idiot but a cute one, so much pining and flirting, implied age gap and Frankie’s insecure over it, Frankie has a brief and mild anxiety attack but is comforted

A/N: this is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written, I really hope you guys enjoy it!

Bucky- that was what the men called you. When you’d first joined the group of men, it’d been as Pope’s friend, a shock to all of them; you weren’t sleeping together, weren’t sneaking around. Just friends. That threw them for a loop. You were always at his side, his right-hand wing-woman. Frankie had been a little put off at first that he’d been replaced, but he grew to like you just as much as the other men. That’s how you’d earned Bucky: Cap’s sidekick, Pope’s sidekick.

When you finally bonded with the rest of them, became friends with them, you were less Pope’s sidekick and more yourself. You grew to love the men for different things. Benny was always there to cheer you up, full of bad jokes and energy. He’d take you out when a date stood you up, buy you a beer on your shittiest days. Will Miller was a shoulder to cry on. He was smart, strong, emotionally intelligent. Wise beyond his years, Ironhead always had the best advice for you. Pope was the partier, and was the one who got things done. Organizing plans was his forte. He loved getting the group together to hang out, and was the only one who could rally the group.

Frankie was all of that and more. Everything. Frankie had caught your eye the moment Pope introduced you to the men. Frankie was the quietest, even quieter than Will. He never enjoyed the spotlight, especially when you were new, but he loved making his friends laugh. He was comforting and helpful, lending you a jacket or helping you with a manual labor task you couldn’t quite get.

Frankie is the one you have a crush on. All of the men have their attributes, and you have to admit that any of them would make a good boyfriend and surely a good lover, but they are and always have been brotherly first. Frankie was something different. You wanted to stay in his arms forever, wanted to kiss the bald patch on his jaw and steal his Hawaiian shirts. You tease him endlessly to hide your feelings, though never in a mean way at all. Always soft and joking, always reciprocated by the teddy bear of a man.

You were the same to him; the first time he saw you, he thought he wanted to marry you someday. He loves your laugh and your humor, loves the way you nudge his side and even though it’s a little painful, wants you to do it again just so he can feel your body touching his. He loves how you can hold court over the men with your stories, can get them to agree on the most divisive of issues. He’d even proposed once that you become Cap, not Bucky. You were clearly a leader. But Santiago brushed it off by saying that Bucky was getting his own show now, so he’s just fine, and besides pendejo, you can’t change a nickname once it's been given.

Emotionally constipated Frankie is just fine to sit to the sidelines. If he has one principle with love and friends, it’s that he’d rather have you as a friend than not have you at all. That’s why he doesn’t necessarily openly flirt with you, why he suppresses his feelings until it’s late at night and he’s alone and can daydream about your pretty face and tight jeans and the crinkle of your nose when you smile.

You’re different. You wear that green shirt you know Frankie always ogles you in when it’s a night out. You buy him a drink or two. You insist he dance with you, take him on errands with you on a Saturday morning. You can read the man; you’re pretty damn sure he likes you too, but you don’t want to ruin it. Rushing him is the last thing on your mind.

As you wander through the farmer’s market on a spring Sunday morning, you shiver as the breeze rushes past your bare arms. Frankie doesn’t notice; he’s too busy admiring a booth selling hot honey. You can’t help but laugh as he delightedly samples a spoon of the syrupy-sweet-spicy product, and turns to you with wide eyes. “Bucky, you gotta try this,” he insists, handing you a sample spoon.

Nodding, you give in and taste it. The flavor on your tongue reminds you of Frankie if he were a flavor: a little spicy, but more of a warm feeling. Infinitely sticky-sweet, floral and tasting of sunshine. There’s heat, just a little, enough to awaken your tastebuds and mingle with the honey perfectly. “That’s good shit. How much is it?” You ask the vendor.

A few minutes later, you walk away with two bottles. You hand one to Frankie. “Here. This is for you,” you tell him with an earnest smile.

Frankie’s brows slide together beneath the brim of his favorite ball cap. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” you shrug and pat his cheek, your path curving to the right as you approach a bakery stall.

The morning is sunny and just slightly cold, making you shiver every so often. Sweet Frankie walks dutifully at your side like the dogs and their owners similarly strolling the tent-lined sidewalk. His eyes light up as he sees breads and flowers, homemade jerky and beautiful jewelry. The variety is exciting, and you often hear Frankie shouting for you from a new booth.

While you admire the jewelry made of local stones, something warm and soft covers your shoulders. You look down to find that it’s Frankie’s suede brown jacket. “You looked cold,” he tells you and turns a little pink before patting your shoulder and wandering off.

At the end of the day, you have a full reusable bag, brimming with goodies: a small bright bouquet, two loaves of bread, cookies, fresh berries, and a bottle of hot honey. Frankie’s is similarly stuffed, though it’s with much more unhealthy choices. The two of you sit on a grassy hill, munching on a pack of thumbprint cookies Frankie purchased.

The morning sun is just starting to warm up, but the jacket you’re now wearing is cozy. You lean your head on Frankie’s shoulder as the two of you rest there without words, lost in your own thoughts.

God, he’s so cute. So sweet. A little stupid. Just how I like them. Is my flirting not obvious enough to him? You wonder internally.

Frankie’s thoughts are similar but different. She’s so sweet. She’s so nice to me. I wonder if she’d ever like me like that.

Partying is Pope’s favorite pastime. The man enjoys getting shitfaced and taking a similarly drunk date home. Lord knows what they do; you’re glad you don’t. That leaves you and the Millers and Frankie. You and Benny dance and sing karaoke, twirling and shouting the lyrics to the song blasting in the bar. Frankie and Will sit on the sidelines.

That’s exactly where tonight has found you. A surprisingly sober Pope has gone home with a pretty girl he flirted with briefly before she tugged him by the jacket sleeve. He shot a look of excitement at the four of you before leaving.

Now, Benny requested his favorite song through the pay-per-tune machine in the corner. You’d squealed and dragged him out, dancing with him on the wooden floor the bar provides. Frankie can’t help but think the two of you would make a good couple. The two of you are full of sarcasm and energy at most times, around the same age. Frankie’s a bit older, and he can’t help but think that it would be weird for you, that it would prevent him from liking you. If only he knew.

Benny does, actually. He’s annoyed that your group doesn’t give him enough credit for his smarts. He might be mostly muscle, but he’s packing brains too. He’s great at observing social interactions, and he can especially tell that there’s something between the two of you. He’s learned his best friend like he knows how to drive or what his own phone number is. Benny knows Frankie, and he knows he won’t make the first move for fear of upsetting you. That’s why he’s taken it upon himself to be your blonde, blue eyed Cupid and queued up Frankie’s favorite song next.

You know it’s his favorite song. Of course you do. When it comes on, you turn to the bar with wide eyes and wave to catch Frankie’s attention, then wave him over. Benny says something or another and wanders off. It takes some nonverbal persuading, some pleading eyes and pouting to the man, but Frankie eventually adjusts his jeans and gets up, leaving that suede jacket behind on his barstool.

“It’s your song!” you exclaim as you throw your arms around him, starting to dance along with him. He moves back with you, though nowhere near as fluid or free.

He shakes his head but smiles, and you flick the brim of his cap. “Oh come on, you love this song. Don’t be such a dope,” you tease and grab his hips, forcing him to move them a little more than the stiff motions he’s making.

“I am a dope,” he mumbles and you roll your eyes, moving in a way that invites Frankie to move back against it. It’s a two-person dance, and you’re starting to get him moving.

Chuckling, you look up at him. “You ever seen Footloose?” you ask him.

He blows a raspberry into the air, laughing. “Of course I have. It’s my favorite movie.”

“Then how come you can’t dance?” You tease.

Frankie makes a noise of mock-injury, clutching his chest. “Damn, Bucky. Right in the heart.”

You giggle and rest your head on his shoulder. “I was going to say that you remind me of Willard. I guess that’s fitting though. You can’t dance.”

His scent is the only thing you can think about, the way his cologne is spicy and sweet on his flushed skin, warm from having you in such close proximity. “Does that make Pope Ren?”

“And it makes me whatever the girl who dates Willard is named,” you shamelessly flirt, swaying him to the side as the song changes in keys.

If there was anything in Frankie’s mouth right now, he’d be choking. Maybe it’s just because you’re dancing together, he rationalizes. Maybe it’s just because you wouldn’t want to date Pope. It can’t be because you like him. That’s not even a thought that crosses his mind. “Ha. Sure,” he shakes his head, taking off his cap and teasingly placing it backwards on your head.

It’s loose on your head, and you laugh as you look up at him. Frankie has that feeling again in his gut: he’s going to marry you someday. It can’t be the alcohol, not in either of you. You’ve both only had a drink each. No, in this moment he realizes the depth of how bad he wants you, but he cannot comprehend that you want him too. There’s no way you could ever love a man like Francisco Morales, he tells himself. But he wants you to. He aches for you to.

The song ends and the ache only grows. Frankie is not a dancer. This is his time to retire to the barstool. “Well, thank you for holding my hat,” he teases you and steals it back, putting it on himself and patting your side before wandering back to his spot next to Will.

You frown, but then Benny finds you again and the energy returns somewhat. You long to feel Frankie’s arms around you again, to dance with him and whisper jokes next to his ear so that you can feel the way his laugh buzzes in his chest. You consider buying another play of Frankie’s song later, but that would be suspicious. You’ll have to find another way, but you have to do it soon; you’re not sure how much longer you can last before you combust from not getting to kiss his soft lips, to feel his scruff beneath your fingertips as you cup his face and finally close the gap between the two of you.

Frankie is much too old for parties. He’d decided that even a few years ago now, that that sort of thing was best left to the young bucks who could drink endlessly and awaken with only a mild headache. How the hell Benny had talked him into attending this party, he wasn’t sure, but he knew that you’d be there and that was enough for him.

You’re not a big partier either; you can get wild, but only around your friends, usually only with Benny there to egg you on and hand you shot after shot. You don’t particularly like getting drunk, just enough alcohol to make things a bit lighter. Benny and Santiago were the ones who’d insisted you and Frankie come along to this party a mutual friend of theirs is hosting.

Of course, the boys wanted you two there but had failed to mention they were each bringing dates. When you wandered in with Benny and a girl flung herself onto him, peppering his blonde stubble with kisses, you’d quickly learned that you weren’t going to get a good night with your favorite guys. Santiago was similarly taken, a girl draped across his lap in a busy living room, each of them holding a drink. He’d given you a two-finger salute as you wandered to the kitchen, kind of annoyed.

You’d dressed a little nicer, though nothing too special, and you immediately hoped at least Frankie and Will would be around tonight to hang out with. Will’s not a big partier, though he’s a little more social than you and Frankie. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket and your face falls as you read the text.

Ironhead: sorry guys. Not gonna make it out tonight.

He provides no explanation why; Will never does. You know better than to question it. Your only hope now is that Frankie doesn’t blow you off.

Frankie could never. The promise of you being at the party was enough for him to meticulously shave and spray that cologne he knows you love on his flannel, which you’ll surely ask for because you’re always cold. He’s not here yet, so you lean against the kitchen counter and crack open a hard seltzer as you look around. Bringing your drink with you, you hit the bathroom and when you return, there’s a familiar ball cap poking above the crowd, labeled with Standard Heating & Oil. Frankie.

Sneaking up behind him, you snatch the cap from his head and put it on yourself. “Hey, pilot,” you sing as he turns and his face lights up to see you. His hair is still slightly damp from the shower, leaving an indent in those curls from where the cap was.

“Goddamnit, Buck,” he laughs and tries to steal it back, but you dodge out of the way.

“Looks like it’s just us tonight, flyboy,” you sigh as you prop an elbow on his shoulder and look around, finding Benny and his girl making out on the dance floor and Santiago playing with a woman’s hair on the couch.

Frankie has to admit he’s okay with that. “They didn’t tell me they’d be bringing dates,” you grumble. Frankie holds back a chuckle. This was most definitely planned, Wingman Benny embracing his role in forcing the two of you together. Frankie couldn’t say he was too upset about it, in all honesty. “Come on, let’s get you a drink,” you shake your head and grab Frankie by the bicep, trying not to shiver at how muscular his arms are.

In the kitchen, you toy with the hem of his shirt as he mixes himself an old fashioned from the vast cocktail bar. “I love this one,” you murmur absentmindedly, admiring the worn fabric and the ripping seams at the hem. It’s so perfectly Frankie: an old black Fleetwood Mac shirt, nearly falling apart. There are holes in the hems and under the left armpit but it always smells sweet and spicy, just like him, and feels like a security blanket. “Looks good on you.”

“Looks like a piece of shit. I need to just throw it out, but I can’t bring myself to,” he chuckles as he finally takes a sip of his drink. He knows the reason he can’t: you love it too much.

“Good,” you nod and set down your hard seltzer, making yourself a drink.

“What you got there?” he asks as he watches you stir up a concoction.

“Essentially the same as you. Old fashioned but with Fireball instead of regular whiskey.”

“You seem to like the spicy-sweet thing, don’t you?” he teases.

God, if only he knew. “Spicy-sweet, just like someone else I know,” you tease him and nudge your shoulder with his. “Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”

Frankie’s heart does several backflips in a row, complete with a roundoff and a cartwheel. He’d earn the gold in the Olympics, the way his heart tumbles and turns in his chest. “Ha,” he laughs dryly, looking down at his own drink, swishing it and watching the ultra-sweet cherry spin through the dark liquid.

The music gets louder from the other room as you and Frankie drink in silence, both of you leaning against the kitchen counter as the amount of alcohol per cup steadily decreases. “I’m gonna go see if I can find Pope,” Frankie finally speaks over the loudening noise, nodding to the living room where everyone is clustered.

“Sure,” you call back, even though he’s just a few feet from you.

It’s practically a maze, trying to find his way through the people. They’re all moving and bouncing, the sound overwhelming him. It’s like a goddamn mosh pit, he thinks, or how it must feel to be buried inside one. How did this party become something like this, and why the hell is he here? Frankie wanders through, getting turned around as the group moves and sways.

His breathing gets heavier, and suddenly Frankie feels suffocated. His primary objective no longer is finding Pope, it’s getting the fuck out of here before this herd stampedes him to death. He feels pathetic and small, like a single fish in a giant school wandering through an abysmally deep sea.

When the tide loosens its hold, when Frankie sees a path, he takes it out. He’s not sure how long he was trapped in there- 20 seconds, a minute, five minutes, but he’s overwhelmed and his head is spinning, his drink somehow gone and lost in the shuffle.

You see him stumble out, looking terrified, and rush over. “Hey, hey, Frankie,” you murmur as you grab his forearms. “Are you okay? Did you find Pope?” You ask, your thumbs tracing over his pulsing veins.

He shakes his head, and you take it as a no for both. “Okay, come on, did you drive here? Is your truck out there?”

He nods and grabs his keys, putting them in your hand. “Alright, pilot, come on. Let’s get you out of here.” You stick the hat back on his head and hope it could maybe bring a sense of normalcy back to him.

Frankie’s head feels like radio static as you bring him to the truck, unlocking it and sliding in first across the bench seat. He follows in after you and closes the door, and he turns the air conditioning on full-blast, feeling desperately hot.

“Hey, hey. Talk to me,” you beg of him, cupping the side of his face with one hand. You shiver under the quick breeze of the vents, the cold air immediately filling the cab of his truck. “What happened?” You ask, just above a whisper, fingers tracing the stubble of his jaw.

His eyes are getting more normal, less panicked and more sane. He must’ve had some kind of anxiety or PTSD moment in the crowd. “Just… thought I was gonna get crushed,” he murmurs, not looking at you.

“Frankie. Let’s breathe together, okay? Look at me.” His eyes find yours and you smile. “Good. Follow me.”

You ground him nearly instantly, your chilled skin under his hands as he grips your upper arms, your soft lips parting to breathe in and out. The flutter of your eyelashes when you close those beautiful eyes, the one that have such a distinct unique color. He would kiss you right now if he had the courage.

He breathes along with you and is calm enough by the second breath to think rationally again. The wave has passed, leaving his body feeling tired and limp. “I-I’m good,” he assures you, tracing his fingers across your skin. “Bucky, you’re freezing.”

“Frankie,” you give a sad chuckle. “I’m supposed to be calming you, and-“

“I’m super hot, please, take this,” he says as he shucks his flannel and hands it to you. “It would help me,” he says simply, enjoying the way the air conditioning more directly contacts his skin without it on.

“Well, okay,” you laugh and slip it on, breathing in the warm scent that is Frankie and sighing contentedly. “See? I love the sweet and spicy thing, like your cologne.”

He shakes his head and looks away. “Oh, stop. You don’t mean that.”

You frown at him. “Frankie. You’re thinking straight again, right?”

He nods.

“Then how aren’t you processing how in love with you I am?” You ask with a soft laugh, resting your head against his shoulder. “I flirt with you endlessly, and it feels like you never pick up on it. So now I’m just going to say it: I like you, Frankie.”

Biting his lip, Frankie looks down at you with slight confusion. “Really?”

You laugh incredulously, burying your face in his neck. “Yes, Frankie, really. I like you a lot. I have since the moment I met you. And I’d like to think you like me too.”

There’s a beat of silence and he nods, taking one of your hands in his and lacing the fingers together. “I really like you too. I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met, Buck,” he admits, wide brown eyes looking down at you with all of the love in his massive heart. “I just… didn’t want to assume anything. You’re so good to me, but you’re so good to the other guys too.”

“Do I buy the other men bottles of hot honey? Have I ever brought a date around like the other guys do?” You ask, lovingly and hoping he sees your point. “I’ve been pining for you for so long, Morales. I just want you to get it through your thick skull that I care for you and I’ve been in love with you for quite a while.”

“I feel stupid,” he mumbles, ears turning pink at the tips. “It was pretty obvious. You’re right.”

“Hey, you’re not stupid,” you assure him and squeeze his fingers. “I personally think it’s fucking adorable that you didn’t want to assume that. I like that, that you didn’t want to do anything first without knowing the same about you. I like all of you, Frankie, from that scruffy beard to these cozy flannels you always let me borrow.”

His heart melts in his chest, reducing him to a puddle. “Then I guess I should ask if you’d be my girl.”

His girl? If you thought he couldn’t get any cuter, you were wrong. You can’t hold back any longer and you swing your leg across his lap, straddling him in the bench seat of his truck. “Can I kiss you, Frankie?” You ask, gently removing his cap and setting it aside.

“God, yes please,” he practically whines as he cups your face in both of his big hands, kissing you deeply and breathing out heavily through his nose.

It’s the best thing you’ve ever felt, Frankie’s body pressed to yours as your lips meet. You both taste that perfect spicy-sweet flavor, the way that’s so Frankie in your head. This might be the sweetest and softest man alive, you think to yourself, and goddamn, you’re lucky, Bucky.

His body radiates the heat of his love and stress and everything, completely melting into yours. You’re never going to stop doing this now that you’ve started. You’re never going a day without holding Frankie like this.

Your legs are firmly planted on either side of him, and Frankie moves his hands to grip your waist and pull you in closer. Shivering at the way he practically manhandles you, you moan into his lips, murmuring his name breathlessly. It’s like the most perfect melody, the way you say it. He mumbles your name back, your real name. Not Bucky.

Your arms wrap around his neck and you press yourself tight against him, running one hand through the soft curls at the nape of his neck. He tastes like heaven, just as perfect as you’ve dreamed about for as long as you’ve known him. When you break away, you smile softly, admiring the way he’s panting beneath you. His head is tilted back to look at you on top of him, his eyes glazed over and cheeks warmed with pounding blood. You gulp and trace the side of his face with feather-light fingertips, admiring his beauty. “God, Francisco,” you murmur. “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years

Text

Little Wolf, Pretty Wolf, Your Wolf

; Omega!Jungkook x Alpha!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, smut, angst

; Word Count: 22.3k

; Warnings: Stereotyping, blowjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, knotting, sub!Jungkook, dom!reader, impregnation kink

; Synopsis: An Alpha wolf is supposed to be strong, powerful and bold. A commandeering presence that can rule a pack efficiently. An Omega is supposed to be submissive, quiet and meek. A calming influence and a lucky charm for a pack. But you’re not like a normal Alpha wolf. Just like Jungkook is not a normal Omega wolf.

; A/N: I’m very unsure over this story. We’ve been having troubles but I finally got it finished and out! It’s half proof read...I hope you enjoy. If you do, please reblog and leave me comments, feedback or reviews! Or send in an ask, I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions :)

“Now, what you need to remember is that the Ancient Greek’s weren’t one nation like how we think of them today. They were a collection of city states which were called polis back then. In their times, this was considered a nation on it’s own like the Vatican City or Singapore is today. You might realise that polis is actually still used today in words such as metropolis, which basically means ‘mother city’ as it comes from the Greek word for mother, necropolis which translates to city of the dead basically and so forth.

“The notion of ‘nation’ as we understand it is actually a relatively new concept that has only emerged in the last few centuries so trying to discuss things like a ‘nation’ or a ‘nationality’ is hard. Particularly when we’re talking about ancient civilisations.” You carry on talking, hands gesturing to the interactive whiteboard behind you that currently shows a map of Ancient Greece.

Your students are watching intently, some nodding slightly while a few of them jot down notes in their exercise books or read from their textbook. History was one of those topics that many people found boring but it had always inspired a fire inside you. The desire to learn from the past and incorporate it into the future was strong. Over the course of your own education, you’d also felt it was important to teach and mould the minds of the young with the lessons of the past.

It was why you’d gone into the teaching career, despite the concerns of your parents and everyone around you. Alpha’s like you simply didn’t go into teaching, the aura of power and dominance around them normally too strong for youngsters to cope with.

But you’ve always been a little different to the other Alpha’s you’d known throughout your life. Your wolf was always present and willing to protect when necessary but mostly she was content to lay back and watch the world. While most Alpha wolves were tall and extremely well muscled, a genetic quirk that gave them a visual representation of strength along with the metaphysical one that all wolves could understand, you were of average height and just looked in shape.

Your scent was sweet and pleasant to be around, according to your friends growing up you smelled like the tastiest candy with the slightest hint of rose. That on it’s own was unusual because Alpha’s were supposed to smell like...well an Alpha, power with that hint of earth that reminded everyone of the forest. Instead, you just smelled like a candy shop.

While great for the Delta’s, the general population that made up most packs, or Omega’s, the rarest and most treasured of all wolves, it wasn’t really great for an Alpha. You were the equivalent of a teddy bear instead of a grizzly, which didn’t really mix well with people's expectations.

On the plus side though, it meant that you were excellent at getting through to people because they listened to you first and only if you needed to would you show the aggressive and dominant side of yourself. You may not look or smell like an Alpha, but you were still an Alpha and you liked to make sure some people remembered that.

A sudden movement out of the window in the door to the corridor catches your attention and you continue to speak, only looking in that direction for a moment. The mop of silver hair on the lithe wolf standing outside tells you immediately who it is and you stifle a smile, glancing over at the clock and noting the bell is about to go.

“Okay class, it’s time to end. I want you all to read this chapter and then write a one page essay on any Ancient Greek city state. I want you to try and be creative though, don’t all do Athens and Sparta. There’s plenty out there.” Smiling at them, you watch as they begin to put their stuff away into their bags when the shrill ring of the bell causes you to wince slightly.

You always hated how loud they put it, but you guessed that was the whole point.

Once everyone has left the classroom, a few of them running to catch the bus that was waiting for them outside, you lean back against the table and let out a deep sigh. That silver mop of hair darts through the door just before it closes and grins at you broadly, his eyes almost disappearing as the roundness of his cheeks takes over.

“Ahh Ancient Greece...your favourite topic.” Jimin says cheerfully, moving over to give you a quick side hug before standing back and looking around. Your big brother was taller than you, though not as tall as any Alpha got. He was a Beta though, so just below you in the pack social hierarchy. He used his height to his advantage in any arguments you had though.

Smiling at him, you nod as you begin to clean up the classroom that teenagers have made messy throughout the day. There’s a whole stack of papers on your desk that need to be taken home and marked, plus a whole new lesson plan to come up with for next week. For now though, you’d just focus on this and be thankful it was the weekend.

Jimin begins to help you, moving through the desks and placing the chairs on top of the tables carefully. He’d come straight from one of his jobs and so is still wearing the oh so stylish black work trousers that have a billion different pockets sewn into them, some of them still filled with items from wherever he’d been. A plain black polo, covered in a few stains from whatever he’d been doing has the logo of his company on the left side.

Your big brother had always been good with his hands and he’d developed a love of manual work when you were younger. Everyone in your family had thought that he’d become a mechanic or something, but he’d surprised you all by becoming a plumber of all things. But he seemed to enjoy it and he’d founded his own company last year, enabling him to take on jobs at his own pace while also taking on another plumber along with an apprentice.

“Have they called about your car?” He asks absentmindedly, throwing the trash that he’d found on the floor into the bin before moving over to wipe your whiteboard clean. You’re putting away some of the books that you’d used earlier in the day before storing the printouts you’d made but you give him a quick nod.

“Yeah, it’s all done. Are you okay to drop me at the garage so I can grab it?” Jimin smiles and nods, giving you a thumbs up as well before hopping up onto your desk. His hands drop between his legs while his feet dangle happily as he watches you.

“That’s fine. I can take you there and then go get some pizza if you want? The job today will pay well and they’ve already signed up to be a repeat customer. Which is exactly what I want as it’s a chain of businesses!” He says excitedly, wiggling in place and you grin at him.

“Awww, that’s so good. Congrats. Told you that you’d do well.” Turning back to the little bookcase you keep in your classroom, you place the final book into its place before standing back and moving over to him. Jimin has that look on his face now and you sigh, knowing where he’s going to go with this already.

“Yeah, I’m doing well. And I think you’re going to do well in the elections too. You just need to actually...get out there and talk to people in the pack. They know of you, but most of them don’t really know you, know you? I mean...you work out here in the city so there’s not really any reason for anyone to get to know you well.” Jimin points out, leaning back on one arm and raising a brow at you.

Sighing again, you look over at him before chewing your lip. “I grew up there and I live there again. How is it that people don’t know me? They’ve known me my whole life. I’m only really doing this because you’re adamant on it and think I’ll have a chance, which I think is stupid by the way.”

The pack leadership elections were going to be in less than a year and the candidates had already put their name forward for consideration a month ago. You’d been one of those to enter your name and had been confirmed as a potential candidate only a week ago.

Unsurprisingly, only Alpha’s could enter the pack leadership contests because Alpha’s had the required inherent characteristics that allowed them to lead. They needed to be strong enough to cope with everyone’s demands, empathetic enough to listen to people, diplomatic enough to make decisions about people’s problems and tough enough to defend the pack if necessary.

You didn’t think you really had the required skills given your unusual nature, but Jimin thought you’d make a good leader. Family and friends had thrown their weight behind you too and so you’d found yourself submitting your name, wondering what on earth you were doing.

The idea of you being the Pack Alpha was ridiculous, but you knew that you were going to receive a lot of stigma and hate because of your differences to a regular Alpha. On top of that, there had also been the creeping misogyny that had been spreading throughout the wolf world in recent decades, in direct contrast to the humans, which meant that many of the old schoolers in the pack were beginning to look down on a female Alpha.

It was all bullshit and everyone knew it. That was actually one of the reasons you’d gone along with it, because if you somehow did win then you’d love to be able to rub it into all of their sexist noses that you’d beaten their little boys. Petty? Yes. But you had to do what you had to do.

“Yeah, you grew up there. And we both live there. But you also went to the other side of the country for five years to go to college. They remember the baby Y/N, the teenage Y/N. Most of the folk in town don’t even recognise you. It’s only when they scent you that they realise it’s you. You went away and became all cultured with the university elites, became friends with other wolf packs and even other shifters. Most of the people in our pack have never seen another shifter breed or even left the state. They don’t know you anymore and you need to show them.” The look on your brother’s face is incredibly serious and you let out a groan that ends in a whine.

It’s very unbecoming for an Alpha but you don’t care. The idea of having to ingratiate yourself with a lot of people who would likely laugh at you for the very idea of thinking you could be Pack Alpha makes you want to throw something. But you know he’s right.

Jimin’s always right, unfortunately.

“Fine. Fine. What do I do? Go and knock on everyone’s doors? Hold a party? A meet and greet? Come, meet the pack’s weird Alpha and vote for her to your leader!” You make an overly exaggerated gesture as you talk, walking towards him and he rolls his eyes in response.

“Just...become a bigger part of society. Join some of the groups, come with us on pack hunts or runs. It’s easy. I don’t get hugely involved but everyone still knows who I am. I swear, you’ll be able to do it. And if you get to be our Pack Alpha, then you can start to make all those changes that you rant to me about regularly.” He shifts off the table at that, stretching his arms back until you can see the toned muscles of his abdomen.

Reaching out, you poke at them hard and he lets out a soft whine as he recoils forwards, arm covering himself before pouting at you. You grin and ruffle his hair, leading to even more complaints before he escapes your grasp.

“Those aren’t rants! They’re issues that need to get sorted out! I mean...you know that I thought this place was a little backwards when we were growing up here but moving away and coming back? God, you wouldn’t believe it.” Jimin grabs your bag from beneath your desk, placing it onto your desk before carefully putting your stuff into it.

You don’t go to stop him or anything, you trust Jimin with your personal belongings. The two of you live together in an apartment in the town you’d both grown up in, the ancestral homeland of your pack. It was partly to save on money for rent and utilities and partly just because you both liked being around each other.

Unlike other families in your pack where having four or more kids was normal, your parents had only been able to have you and Jimin. And it had taken six years for you to come into the world after Jimin. So despite the age difference, you were both close and adored each other.

“I do believe it. Because you tell me it’s true and I know you wouldn’t lie to me. Plus, you know I think there’s a lot of people in our pack that need to come into the 21st century. Some of them make me think they don’t even know what electricity is. And this is all why I think you’d make the best leader for us. Someone to modernise us finally and stop making us just look like the little backwater pack still stuck in the 18th century. I know we can do it, we have good wolves in our pack and there’s probably a lot who think like us but just don’t want to rock the boat.” Handing you your bag, he waits out in the corridor as you do a final sweep before turning off the lights and leaving.

“Yeah...you’re right. God yeah, you’re right about it. I’m trying to teach my kids here about the mistakes that were made in the past so that they know not to repeat them but I should try more with our pack too. And then...then I can make sure that our kids learn better and how to be better right?” Jimin grins broadly and hugs you to him, kissing your forehead sweetly tickling your sides until you growl gently.

“Yep. So...Operation Leader is a go.”

Humming lightly, you looked over the basket of potatoes that was on display in your local supermarket. It was your turn to do the grocery shopping, which was why you were stocking up on all the vegetables that Jimin turned his nose up at half the time. Sometimes you felt like you were living with a child but he always ate them eventually.

Tonight you were going to make lasagne and garlic bread, one of Jimin’s favourite meals. It was incredibly easy to make and you’d found yourself craving it as well, realising it had been a month or so since you’d last had it. And given Jimin was going to be home tonight, you’d decided it was time to make the cheesiest lasagne possible.

You might even indulge and make the garlic bread cheesy too. It was more than an indulgence really, because you would happily cover it all in cheese until it made you sick. Jimin wasn’t a huge fan of it though, so you knew that you’d have to limit it.

Picking up a tomato, you squeeze it experimentally to see how fresh it is before nodding and placing it inside the little net bag you’d brought for the vegetables. Fresh herbs go in as well and you get enough vegetables to make a hearty stew tomorrow, figuring that if you make a big enough pot then you can freeze some for the future and let both Jimin and you take some for lunch at work.

It’s only when you walk towards the dairy aisle, intent on grabbing a bottle of milk and deciding upon which cheese to liberally accentuate your lasagne and garlic bread with, that you accidentally knock into someone. A small ‘oof’ leaves your mouth as you wobble slightly, dropping the bag of prunes that you’d grabbed as you’d passed the end of the fruit aisle.

“I’m so sor-” You paused, brow creasing as a delicious scent fills your nose. Inhaling deeply, you take it in with wide eyes as your inner wolf growls lowly, her instincts immediately roused to life by the smell. Omega, she rumbles to you and you immediately get the biggest urge to press yourself to this newcomer.

The reaction from you isn’t surprising, given what you know of Omega’s. You’d never encountered one before, not until now, but everyone grows up learning of Omega’s. They were the rarest kind of wolf and a pack with an Omega present was considered to be exceptionally lucky.

Due to their rareness, an Omega was often treasured and deeply adored by the rest of the pack. They were to be protected at all costs, with the entire pack often banding together to ensure that they were okay. The reason for this was that Omega’s were considered to be the most submissive in a pack, naturally weak and timid along with being passive. It was a pack’s duty therefore to protect their Omega.

So you were beyond surprised that you’d encountered one in the supermarket of all places.

Shifting backwards slightly, you turn and pick up the packet of prunes before grabbing the tin of tomato soup that’s rolling your way. Standing back up, you hold out the tin to the Omega before pausing, your eyes going even wider as you look up.

He’s taller than you, a lot taller when combining what must be his natural height with the thick sole of what look like combat style boots. And he’s broad, his shoulders wide and accentuated by the black leather jacket he’s wearing, the silver embellishments of the buttons shining in the light.

Skinny jeans in black adorn his thighs and you can’t help the way your eyes drag over them, in awe of how...tight his jeans are. Especially when combined with the fact that this Omega evidently does some serious workouts given how thick and muscular his thighs are. In fact, how muscular everything looks.

His white shirt doesn’t give much away to you, but you have no doubt that if his legs look like that then the rest of him must look quite similar. Long, wavy hair is messed around his face, the strands wild and dark as they cover part of his eyes.

And it’s here that you discover the only part of him that looks like what you’d imagined an Omega would look like. Because right now, they’re wide open with shock and you freeze at the sight of them, the inner instincts that have been bred into you over centuries roaring to the fore and telling you to protect.

His eyes are filled with innocence and a tiny hint of fear, almost as if he’s afraid of what you might do. To any onlooker, that might look comical given how tiny you look in comparison to him. But his scent gives away the difference, because despite how...non-Omega he looks...he is still an Omega.

Which means if you wanted to, you could make him bow at your feet in submission as you forced a wave of dominance towards him. It wasn’t something you liked doing as it often felt like an assault on the receiver and you felt gross doing it. Some Alpha’s abused their ability, finding it amusing to lord their status over others.

But you only used it how it was meant to be used. When you were faced with someone who was refusing to follow the rules and putting others at risk. It was the only time you felt was acceptable to use that power, in order to save others.

So the fact he was looking at you like that made you pause, confusion making you hesitate as you wondered if maybe he thought you were going to force him to do something. And you realised that he’d probably be right if he’d met anyone else. There were plenty of asshole Alpha’s that you knew that would be pleased to play with an Omega, despite the reverence that a pack held for them.

Gesturing towards him with the tin, you give him a sweet smile as he takes it from you carefully, the way his fingers carefully avoid yours almost comical. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you or I would’ve moved out of the way.”

He doesn’t answer, his brow creasing in confusion as his eyes scan over you. You can’t help but watch those eyes in complete fascination, they’re so naturally big and you feel a strong urge to protect him. Not because he’s an Omega, but purely because he looks like someone with an innate curiosity that you don’t want to see die.

His nose twitches ever so slightly as he inhales deeply before speaking. “Why do you smell like that?”

You know what he means. An Alpha is supposed to smell earthy and musky, to remind a wolf of their forest homelands from centuries ago. It inspires confidence and trust, yet you smell sweet and gentle. Jimin said that you often smelled like he’d walked into a candy store.

This Omega though, he smells like an Alpha should. His strong scent is so reminiscent of the pine trees that grow in the forests around the town you’d grown up in, the only reason you know he’s an Omega is that genetic knowledge that distinguishes that part of his scent that’s different. It amuses you that you’ve found someone as contradictory in their nature as you.

“Why do you smell like that?” You counter, lips quirked up on one side in amusement as you tilt your head to look him over once more. A true contradiction of everything. Now you can understand why people find it hard to understand you.

He doesn’t respond, just stares at you with that same confusion that everyone always gives you. Only it seems a little stronger now, causing you to laugh slightly as you shake your head. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I really have to finish my shopping and go. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

Turning away from him, you continue onto the dairy aisle as you ponder what you’ve just said. You’re naturally nice as an Alpha, always polite and helpful to anyone who asks it. As someone running for the pack leadership, you’d resolved to be even more helpful from now on in order to try and help. Jimin had said it was a good idea, and you’d long ago discovered that it was easier to just go along with whatever he says instead of questioning it.

Questioning it would just lead to him whining.

But you’d felt the need to be extra nice to the Omega, almost as if to prove that you were not like other Alpha’s. Which was ridiculous, because why on earth would you care to prove that? You’d never even seen the Omega before, and you doubted that you’d see him again. They were so rare that you doubted it would be long before some Alpha snapped him up as a mate.

Pursing your lips, you hum to yourself in thought before shrugging and carrying on. You’d discuss this more with Jimin later. No doubt your brother would be fascinated to find out what you’d discovered today.

Jimin turns up in the kitchen within two minutes of you getting home, his curious expression ever so familiar as he tries to peer into all the bags. You don’t know why he’s so interested as he knows that you always buy the healthier food compared to him. Whether or not his card has ever seen a vegetable remains a mystery known only to him and the universe.

“Oooh, lasagne?” He says excitedly as you pull out the familiar items that make up his favourite meal. Grinning at him as you place the perishable items into the fridge and begin organising everything else, you nod.

“Yeah, I thought it’d be nice to have since you’re home tonight. I’m gonna try and make it so that I make one side be overloaded with cheese while the other side is more normal for you.” Your stomach gurgles at the thought and Jimin snorts in amusement, taking one of the apples that you’d bought and biting into it eagerly.

He may not be fond of vegetables, but you knew that he loved fruit.

“I fully expect you to make a mac n cheese lasagne one day. No meat or anything.” Jimin says, sitting down at the table as he watches you finish putting everything away before you turn on the oven to preheat.

Your nose wrinkles at his words and you shake your head in response, taking the minced beef out of its packet and into a saucepan before turning on the hob. Waiting for it to heat up so you can brown the minced meat, you turn to making the sauce for the lasagne.

“No way. I may love cheese but that’s because it can make the lasagne go all lovely and crispy. Mmm. I do enjoy the meat too.” Lips pursing, you take the juicy tomatoes that you’d bought to make the sauce and look at it for a moment, memory suddenly sparking.

“Hey Jimin...when I was at the supermarket...I bumped into an Omega there? It was really weird, I didn’t even think the pack had an Omega or anything. But like...he didn’t smell like one properly, nor did he look like what I imagined an Omega would.” The tone of your voice is wondering and Jimin can tell that you’re going through scenarios in your head.

He lets out a long noise as he considers for a moment before making a small ‘ahh’ sound. “That was probably Jeon Jungkook. You remember him? Or...remember of him?”

Nodding slowly, you frown as you try to think back to when you’d been younger and you’d heard of the stories of him.

“Yeah but I thought he, like, never left his house. Weren’t his parents super overprotective of him? He got homeschooled and everything right?” Jimin shrugs in response, biting into his apple once more and chewing carefully.

“He did. I think they did it so he wouldn’t get bugged by any Alpha’s or anything. I mean...your reaction right now is telling me that was probably a good reason and you’re one of the best Alpha’s I know. But he’s spent the last year living on his own, away from his parents. I think he’s trying to gain more independence and experience the world in a safer way or something. I see him occasionally around town. Not really what you expect of an Omega, huh?” That makes you laugh as you nod.

“The man is built like a truck. Honestly, I think he could probably take on most Alpha’s and win. He didn’t say much to me. He bumped into me and I gave him back his soup. In fact, all he said to me was ‘why do you smell like that?’ to which I asked him the same thing. He smells like an Alpha should smell, only with the overlay of Omega. He was very brusque, almost confrontational.” You ponder that as you turn the meat over, evenly browning it all before setting a second saucepan on the hob.

“Well, that’s understandable. I mean...he gets accosted by a lot of the Alpha’s and Beta’s who see him around town. The whole stereotype of Omega’s means that they think they can basically bully him into hanging out with them or...doing stuff with him. I think he’s probably been given a ridiculous number of mating requests and he’s turned them all down. Despite what many wolves think, apparently Omega’s are not as submissive as they’re stereotyped to be.” His voice gets light at that and you can practically hear the irony in it, knowing that Jimin probably severely disapproves of how Jungkook is treated.

It makes sense though, he’s grown up seeing how people have mistreated you because of how you don't adhere to the stereotypes of a traditional Alpha. Hearing that about Jungkook makes you feel angry though, almost resentful of everyone else in the pack who make Jungkook’s very existence a likely chore to him.

“Well that’s just rude. He’s still a person, a wolf with his own mind and abilities. Why are they so mean to him? I mean...I’m the least Alpha you’ve ever seen but it doesn’t mean I’m not an Alpha, you know? This is what I mean I say the pack is so ridiculous and outdated! It’s just gross. Why are they so bigoted and small minded? There’s no one way to be an Alpha and there’s no one way to be an Omega. Jungkook and I both show that. There’s nothing wrong either of us.” You say vehemently, grip tightening on the large plastic spoon in your hand.

Your argument makes Jimin laugh lightly, causing you to glare at him until he holds his hands up in defence, one hand holding an apple core. “Hey, hey. I agree. I fully support Jungkook being an ass to everyone if they’re being an ass to him in turn. See, this is why you need to win the leadership! So that then everyone can see how stupid they’re all being and backwards!”

That makes you groan loudly, eyes rolling to the ceiling as your head tilts back. You don’t even look over at Jimin as he deposits the core into the bin and makes his way over to the door frame. Your defeated expression makes him chuckle though.

“Jimin, I swear, every conversation with you better not end with you bugging me about this stupid fucking leadership competition. If it does, I promise that I stick this spoon up your damn ass.” You threaten, lifting the spoon threateningly as he laughs even louder.

Licking the ice cream that remains on top of the cone you’d bought, you let out a little happy noise before grinning over at Sana. She’s eating her own ice cream, only she’s already onto the cone now and you snort in amusement. Salted caramel was her downfall and you’d known immediately which flavour she was going to pick when you’d both headed into the small, family owned ice cream parlour in town.

It had been years since you’d been in there, long before you’d headed off to college and part of you had been surprised that it was still going. Mainly because it seemed that in this day and age, a lot of smaller stores like this seemed to die off as bigger conglomerates took over.

There was a Baskin Robbins just on the outskirts of town so it was impressive to see just how busy and popular the old ‘50s themed parlour still was. And also kind of nice, to see people still doing well in the pack while the pack supported them in turn.

They’d upped their game since you’d left though and now offered a ridiculously large range of flavours to match the national chain that had opened up while also expanding their range of milkshakes and smoothies in turn. And that was to say nothing of the cakes, cookies and other baked delights they’d invented.

Sana swore that it was the best place in town when you’d agreed to meet up with her today, praising it to the heavens. You were both just going to chill out and do a little shopping in the smaller, more boutique stores that your town had to offer while catching up on everything.

She was your best friend from childhood and when you’d gone off to college, she’d chosen to stay behind to attend the college in the closest city. It had allowed her to attain her degree in law and she was now working towards the bar, while interning at the only law firm in town. Quite obviously, it specialised in wolf law and inter-species relations and Sana had been determined to be a part of the law network around here.

Understandable, given her mother was a human and her father a Beta wolf. Their relationship hadn’t been entirely well received by the pack, yet another reason you felt spurred on to enter the leadership contest as it was another example of the pack being outdated. Human-wolf relations were completely normal when you’d been in college, the city you’d been living in cosmopolitan and liberal.

Perhaps it was too much of you to expect your small town to be more open, but you were determined to try. For wolves like you, Sana and Jungkook.

Bumping into her gently, you smile softly before taking the final lick of what remained of the ice cream in your cone. You’d picked your old favourite, chocolate chip mint, and had enjoyed every bit of it.

“Mmm, this was a good choice. It tastes even better than when I last went there.” Sana grins brightly, her face lighting up with happiness at the combination of the ice cream and just being with you again. It felt good to hang out with her and you were determined to spend more time with her now that you were living here once more.

“I know right? I mean, it was good five years ago but that Baskin Robbins has really made them up their game. Along with the general like for more flavours now. And thank goodness they decided to invest in learning how to make a salted caramel flavour because I swear, I go here once a week for this stuff.” She sighs dreamily before eating the last bit of her cone, licking her fingers in an attempt to make sure she got all the flavour before pouting dramatically.

Chuckling, you carefully bite your own cone before licking at the remnants of mint ice cream that cling to the inside. “Do they sell tubs? They should, it’d be a good business venture. They could even stock them in the stores here. People would buy it.”

Immediately, Sana’s eyes go wide with excitement as her jaw drops.

“Oh my god, yes they should! Why have they never thought of that? That's the best idea ever. We need to suggest it to them, they have a suggestion box and I would like to have my entire freezer filled with delicious salted caramel ice cream. Oooh, and the cookies and cream. And the pecan ice cream! Oh, and the pistachio!” Snorting, you shake your head as you finish your own cone and push her arm lightly in amusement.

“It’s a good thing you’re a wolf with a wolf’s metabolism because I don’t know how you’d keep that figure otherwise. Honestly. Does your fridge or pantry even have any food that doesn’t contain sugar?” You tease her gently, smiling as she scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Of course. There’s water. That’s the perfect remedy for when I’ve indulged in too much wine.” Amused, you look away from her to the window of the store you’re both passing. Sana hadn’t changed much since you were both eighteen and you were thankful for it. She was still the happy, bubbly girl you’d been friends with for years, only now she has a veneer of adulthood about her.

Hopefully you were the same.

“You know, I can see why Jimin started dating you. You both have the eating habits of a five-year-old. If it wasn’t for me, I’m not sure Jimin would even know what a vegetable looks like. And I mean any vegetable.” That gets Sana smiling as you mention your big brother, and her boyfriend of two years.

The two of them had started dating in your final year of college. It hadn’t been too surprising as you’d known that Sana always had a little crush on Jimin but you’d been surprised that Jimin had reciprocated it. He’d always been steadfastly avoidant of anything that could potentially encourage a crush with your friends when growing up, which you’d definitely appreciated.

But apparently they’d come across each other a few times in your small town and one thing had led to another. They weren’t mated yet or anything, but you had a sneaking suspicion that it was only a matter of time. Jimin never did anything quickly, always taking his time to be as sure as possible before doing anything. It’s what made him a good plumber with a 100% success rate.

You had no doubt that Sana probably appreciated it as well, as being mated would mean they would have a higher chance of creating pups. And you knew damn well that Sana had big dreams for her career before starting a family. Not that she wouldn’t welcome them into her life, but you were pleased that they were both taking things slowly still.

“I don’t know, I’ve seen him with a cucumber before.” Frowning, you look away from the display of the latest book releases and over at her. You were about to ask her a question when you recognised the sly look of mischief on her face and you gagged loudly, turning away and back to the display.

In the window, you could see your expression of pure disgust. “Sana. That is my brother! I do not want to...oh god, ew. Ewwww.”

Sana’s high pitched giggle takes over as she enters the bookstore, her pure amusement at your horror causing you to smile despite the gross image you’d just had ingrained in your mind. That was the last time you were ever buying cucumber for the apartment.

The scent of fresh books welcomes as you enter the store and you instantly relax, closing your eyes to take a deep inhale. You’d always loved books and reading, it had been a strong passion of yours which was why you’d taken a dual subject degree; English literature and history. Your master’s degree had been in teaching, meaning that you were qualified to teach both English and history in the school you worked at.

Books were one of the most important things in the world to you as they not only informed and passed on the knowledge that people had gained over the centuries, even millennia, but they also opened up entirely new worlds to positively millions of people around the world. There was no world too big when it came to books and you felt passionately about encouraging everyone to read and indulge, whether they loved a bodice ripping romance or the autobiography of a popular sports star.

Sana tugged at your arm as she directed you towards the shelves of the popular novels, both of you scanning over them quietly. Reading had been a passion of you both and your parents had always been amused to sometimes come into your room when you were younger to find you both reading separately, the only thing making any noise was the stereo that played your favourite songs.

“You heard of anything good coming out?” You ask idly, crouching down to examine the history section and pursing your lips when you see an interesting book on the history of Ancient Mesopotamia. Flipping it over, you read the blurb intently before standing with it firmly in your hand.

“Not really, I think I’m just in the mood for something really light though. Easy to pick up and read for ten minutes or so at night.” She says, pulling out a copy of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. You take in the cover before laughing and taking it from her, putting it back in its place.

“That is not the book you want then. Trust me, you have to read that book like, twice, to even understand what happened. Hmm...I’d recommend this, I have read it and it’s got a few sequels so you’ll be able to sink your teeth into it.” You hand her a copy of The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. “It’s a series called The Witcher, they made some games from it and there’s a Netflix show out too. You’ll enjoy it.”

Sana makes an interested noise and reads over the back before nodding in approval, giving you a smile of thanks before wandering off to her favourite genre section of the store. She’d always been a sucker for the fiction books with a particular love of crime and thriller. No surprise really, given her career choice.

Smiling, you make your own way over to the non-fiction section. You would read anything but you really enjoyed your history, autobiographies or memoirs. Tilting your head, you scan over the titles carefully before pulling out a book called Educated by Tara Westover. It only takes a quick scan over the blurb to see that it’s something that interests you and you add it to your small pile before continuing to look.

“Are you stalking me or something?” Comes a deep voice to your right, the sound so low and unexpected that you jolt in surprise, a hand coming to rest on your chest as a noise leaves you. It’s probably not a very Alpha-like response but honestly, what did he expect when jumping up on you like that? He was lucky you hadn’t responded the other way and tried to rip his throat out.

Turning quickly, you go to snap at the intruder and pause, eyes having to scan upwards to meet him. You’re so surprised at who it is that you take a step backwards, any irritance you might have had vanishing as you take in the sight of Jeon Jungkook standing before you.

Today, he’s got an oversized black hoodie covering his entire torso while black cargo pants adorn his legs, the numerous pockets looking empty and meeting the same boots he’d been wearing the other week. You take all of that in within seconds, brows narrowing inwards as you try to understand how you’ve come across him again.

“I’m not stalking you. I’m buying books. What does it look like I’m doing?” The words fall from your lips before you even run through them mentally, causing them to come out simultaneously belligerent and confused.

Jungkook’s beautiful eyes narrow slightly at you and his free hand pushes his hair out of his face, his surprisingly soft looking lips going particularly pouty. You take the moment to admire how clear his skin looks, the crappy lighting of the store making him probably look worse than he actually does. Which is impressive, because he already looks monumentally handsome.

“Well I don’t know. Wouldn’t be the first time an Alpha stalked me.” He grumbles, glaring at you before turning to face the bookcase. It’s almost with amusement that you note he doesn’t even look at the spine of the book he grabs, instead just pulling it out immediately.

Brow rising, you bit your lip to try and stop your smile. “So...got an interest in the history of sex hmm? Not really something I’d try and teach my students but it’s always good to have more information.”

You can’t help it, not when you see the obscenely large pink text that clearly states ‘A Curious History of Sex’ on the front cover. Of all the books he could’ve picked out, he managed to grab that one. And you think he’s probably mentally thinking that too by the way his cheeks flush the prettiest pink, even his ears going red with heat as he lets out a sigh and quickly shoves it back into place.

“Shut up,” The growl he gives is actually kind of impressive. “Of all the fucking books. Of course you picked out a sex book with an Alpha next to you.” He mutters quietly to himself, rolling his eyes and actually taking the time to read the spines this time. You’re kind of impressed that he gave you an order, particularly given the unfortunate stereotype of Omega’s. Evidently, there were a lot of things that were exaggerated.

Silence falls between you both and you sigh this time, eyeing him out of the corner of your eye. His raised shoulders indicate that he clearly wants nothing to do with you, but you feel a deep and innate need to say something to him.

“Hey...Jungkook. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me and I swear I’ll leave after this. Or at least...go to another part of the store. First of all, I know your name because my brother told me about you. I’ve not been in town for a few years. And second of all...I know it’s probably not much but...I’m really sorry about how you’ve probably been treated over the years. As you can probably tell, I’m not really like other Alpha’s so I’ve been on the receiving end of some negative treatment too and I know how cruel wolves can be. I just...I’m sorry for anyone who has stereotyped you and felt they had some right to you as a result. It’s probably not a lot but I hate that you felt the need to say that to me.”

Taking a deep breath, you give him a hesitant smile before carefully stepping away from him. It was probably pointless that you’d done that, and he would probably laugh at your idiotic behaviour lately. You knew Jimin sure would. Why the hell would Jungkook care if one Alpha apologised for the bad treatment he’s received for years? Particularly given you’re the least Alpha-like wolf out there.

But Jungkook is staring at you intently, his eyes narrow not in anger or suspicion but careful thought. His lips purse slightly before he licks them, his body posture loosening up slightly as he relaxes a little.

“You’re not like other Alpha’s are you? I mean, besides from the whole being tiny and smelling sweet thing,” He gestures to all of you at that, causing you to give a smile of amusement to let him know you’ve taken no offence. “You’re the first Alpha that’s ever apologised to me. For anything really, and you haven’t even done anything to warrant the apology.”

Chewing on your lip, you play the books in your hands before shrugging at him.

“Yeah well, no one ever apologised to me for all the comments they’ve made over the years. Not sure if I’d like to accept one either but I at least like the thought of someone trying to apologise. Won’t help everything that’s happened but it’s a start, you know?” You offer the words to him gently, hoping that he’ll understand why you felt the need to apologise to him.

He was right, in that you hadn’t done anything to offend him so far. You hadn’t said anything rude or negative to him, you hadn’t stalked or pursued him. In fact, the very idea of it was absolutely abhorrent. Sure, he smelled delicious and you had the biggest urge to press yourself to him and preen but you wouldn’t do it. You were an Alpha, and Alpha’s were supposed to have the best control.

Jungkook pauses slightly before nodding, running his hand through his hair once more. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Does feel a little nice to get some form of apology I guess. But you didn’t need to. You’re the first Alpha to not try to bully me into submitting to them or obeying them. I’ve even had a few try to force me into sex. In fact, I think the only time I’ve ever smelled your dominance was when I just scared you. And that was my fault, so I’m sorry.”

Grinning, you nod your head at him in acceptance and casually reach to the bookcase, grabbing a book about the history of the British SAS and adding it to your pile. You don’t even need to read the blurb, already knowing that you’d enjoy it and Jungkook eyes your books curiously.

“I don’t like making people submit to me if they don’t want to. It’s cruel and demeaning. We only have that power so that it’s used in dire circumstances. Anyone doing it to you is an asshole and you should tell them that. Or...well...think it at them, don’t do anything that might get you hurt,” Pausing, you frown over at him as you feel your heart expand in sympathy while a fire of anger burns in your stomach. “And I certainly don’t force people into sex with me. There’s a legal definition for that, and the act is most definitely illegal. Anyone does that, or tries it, I hope you report them because that’s disgusting.”

The vehemence in your voice is strong and firm, causing Jungkook to back away ever so slightly, his eyes widening as you accidentally let slip of your control. But you see no fear in his eyes, because it was quite clear that your anger was not directed towards him. In fact, it was more of a protective anger, an anger that he’d possibly been hurt or scared.

Still though, you don’t like the fact that you’d slipped and you bow your head, apologising quickly to him. He doesn’t say anything and you take a deep breath, calming yourself down before giving him a very neutral smile.

“I think it’s probably time for me to go now, I’ve got enough for my bookcase and my friend is waiting for me. It was nice to meet you Jungkook and I hope that whenever we meet next, you can feel a little more comfortable with me. And that you don’t terrify me at the start.” That gets a laugh from him, the sound high and lou. You end up laughing in turn, your own laugh quieter and more gentle.

Turning from him, you go to head over to the cashier before you feel a slight pressure on your arm. Pausing, you realise that it’s Jungkook before you even turn around, his delightful scent surrounding you so much that you can’t help but close your eyes and take a deep breath. Combined with the heavenly scent of books, you’re not sure you’ve ever smelled anything better.

Shifting until you’re facing him, you see Jungkook’s face looking a little nervous. His eyes glance about, almost as if he was checking to see if there was anyone around and you wonder what he wanted from you.

Finally though, he gestures down to the phone in his hand that he points towards you, the screen open to a new contact page. Glancing back up with a raised eyebrow, you have to seriously fight to stop the smile that wants to spread when you realise that his cheeks are pink once more.

“I’m sorry if this is...a little forward or anything but, is there any chance you might be okay with giving me your number?” He smiles at that, his white teeth perfect and straight in his mouth as his eyes positively light up with the same mischief you see in Jimin sometimes. “I think I’d like to get to know you a bit more...if you’re okay with that?”

You’re positive that your jaw has dropped and you desperately want to shove it back into place, feeling that you were probably being a little rude. Okay, a lot rude. But seriously, Jungkook had just asked for your number. An Omega, who had a clear dislike of Alpha’s for a good reason, had asked for your number.

Carefully, you eye him and realise he’s being completely serious. There’s a small delay between you realising this and your hand moving forward to take the smartphone from him, your fingers carefully typing in your name and number.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Handing back the phone, he glances down at the screen and smiles softly.

“I think so. It was nice meeting you Y/N. I’ll talk to you soon.”

It had been over two months since that day at the bookstore, when you’d experienced how...non-Omega like Jeon Jungkook was. And he’d continued to surprise you ever since. He was bold when you expected submissive, arrogant where you’d been told to expect meekness and so much more.

You were thoroughly delighted by how contradictory he was and enjoyed testing the limits with him. He seemed to enjoy it too, given how he let you push at his boundaries while he in turn pushed at your own experimentally. It was an odd give-and-take with him, something you’d never experienced before and you were finding yourself increasingly enamoured with him.

Not that you were going to tell him that of course. The last you wanted was for him to feel like there was yet another Alpha pressuring him for anything. But it was just hard to not develop any feelings for him when he was so sweet and kind.

The two of you had texted frequently for the first two weeks before you’d met up at a local café, learning how to translate that easy going conversation via text into face-to-face conversation. You’d learnt how to though, carefully navigating the intricacies of a friendship with an Omega.

Jungkook could often be abrasive and sometimes took things to heart. A simple sentence from you that had no negative implications would be misunderstood by him to the extent that you were sometimes left wondering if you’d said something bad. And then he’d apologise, his cheeks red as he’d admit that it had been him who has misinterpreted you.

It was the strangest friendship you’d ever had, yet also one that you’d grown to love. Jungkook had a big heart beneath all his overly large, black clothing and his blunt personality. You had certainly enjoyed discovering that, finding out all the ways that made him smile in that soft and shy way, how to make him laugh in the overly sweet giggle that made your heart race a little.

Tonight he had come over to your apartment with the promise of freshly made Greek food and a night of watching Locke and Key on Netflix. You’d both watched the first episode independently before deciding that you’d watch it together when Jimin and Sana had shown no interest. Which meant that tonight, you would hopefully both blitz through the rest of the series in one go.

Of course, Jungkook wasn’t going to turn down food. Especially free food. So he’d happily said yes and had been a surprisingly good help in the kitchen as you’d shown him how to help prepare the food. Right now, your stomach was pretty content and happy; full of pork souvlaki, dolmades made of hollowed out and stuffed tomatoes with a whole array of delicious sides including homemade tzatziki and fresh olives.

The dessert had been a store made baklava, because you weren’t quite willing to put your talents as far as making that. But it had been just as delightful and you knew that Jungkook had enjoyed every mouthful. In fact, he’d probably wanted more when he’d realised there was no more souvlaki left. He’d even eaten all the salad.

And now you were both sitting on the couch, your feet curled under you as your belly protested ever so slightly from being filled with so much food and a glass of red wine in your hand. Jungkook had a bottle of beer and you were surprised by how...domestic it all felt really.

Jimin wasn’t home tonight, he was spending the night with Sana and had given you a very peculiar look when you’d told him that you wouldn’t go with him because Jungkook was coming over. Normally, you’d spend a few hours at Sana’s before heading back home and leaving them both alone to enjoy each other.

Your brother had met Jungkook over the last few weeks. Even become quite friendly with him. Jungkook’s own friends, Kim Taehyung and Kim Namjoon had slowly become friends with both you and your brother as well. They were both Delta’s, the general population of a pack, and so were completely harmless to Jungkook thankfully.

It had been particularly amusing when you’d met them to see how protective they were over the Omega. Especially given the fact that as an Alpha, you were the top rank out of them all. But their hackles had slowly gone down as they’d gotten to know you better and realised that you had no intention of pushing your will on any of them, particularly Jungkook.

All of you had gone out to the city one day, checking out the giant shopping mall there and even playing around in the old school arcade that they had. Jungkook and you had engaged in more than one round of the classic Time Crisis, both of you yelling whenever you died and had to feed more money into the machine. The others had stood around watching for a while before moving off to play the basketball game.

After that, you’d both devoured fully stacked cheeseburgers and a portion of large fries before drowning them in a large cookie dough milkshake. It had been fun and had almost felt like a date, if there hadn’t also been Jungkook’s two friends with you along with Jimin and Sana.

Thankfully, the presence of an Alpha and two Beta’s had prevented anyone from trying anything funny with Jungkook, leaving him to simply enjoy the day out. And you were beyond happy that had been his experience so far with you every time you’d both gone out together. Your mere presence as an Alpha kept others at bay.

Despite how easy everything was being tonight, you felt a little funny and strange. Jimin had made a casual comment the other day about how your scent seemed to change when Jungkook was around, taking on an almost earthy scent while Jungkook’s in turn became sweeter. You thought it was just because you were near someone who was awakening the primal instincts in you, and vice versa with Jungkook.

That had got you a droll stare.

But you would have to admit that being like this, sitting with him and his warmth being so close to your own while his scent overwhelmed you so delightfully, made you feel happy and content. A small voice in the back of your mind was telling you what it was, what it all meant. But you didn’t want to acknowledge that voice, didn’t want to let it gain ground in your mind.

What you had with Jungkook was good right now. It was solid, surprisingly stable given the short amount of time you’d known him and how drastically different both of your backgrounds were. Though you couldn’t help but think.

Okay, if you were being entirely honest with yourself then you wanted Jungkook. You wanted to date him, to hold his hand and make him smile. Kiss his cheek and his nose, feel all of that strong body beneath his clothes, feel his hands on you while you run your hands along him, learn the taste of his mouth and…

Shaking your head, you try to push those thoughts out of your mind before your scent changes in a way that even Jungkook is going to notice. Taking a deep swallow of wine, you point at the screen while scoffing loudly.

“Is it just me, or are these kids taking all this weirdness in their stride way too easily? Like, oh look! A key opens a mirror world where you can get lost and die! Nothing weird there. Casual day in their lives.” Jungkook snorts, grinning as he takes a drink.

“They do seem to be quite calm about this whole thing. I mean, I’d be freaking the fuck out if that was me. Taking the first train to Nopeville and stopping at Hell the Fuck No City on the way.” Laughing, you press your face into his shoulder. He had the strangest humour sometimes.

Jungkook particularly liked those old school ‘90s comedy films or early 2000s. He’d already made you watch Dumb and Dumber along with Clerks, Happy Gilmore and Dodgeball. You’d admit to enjoy Dodgeball, okay so maybe you’d laughed particularly hard at the ‘if you can avoid a wrench!’ scene, but the others had questionable humour to you.

To him though, it had been the funniest thing he’d ever seen. His laugh was particularly loud when he was enjoying something so freely, the sound infectious until you were giggling along with him. So even though you weren’t exactly enamoured with the films he liked to watch, you went along with them because he liked them. And you liked it when he got the happy look in his eyes.

“I guess it wouldn’t really make it exciting though if they just noped the fuck outta there, huh?” You muse, casually eating a fruit gummy from the pack of Haribo you’d bought at the grocery store too. Jimin would kill you if he found out that you’d bought them when he wasn’t here, but whatever.

Offering the packet to Jungkook, he gives you a sweet smile before carefully reaching inside and picking out a tangy cherry gummy. He pops into his mouth quickly, a hum of happiness leaving him as he wiggles slightly, rosy pink lips pouting slightly as he chews. Snorting, you smile brightly and poke his cheek affectionately.

Looking at you, his eyes widen in that innocent way of his that makes your heart strings tug. Despite his bold and aggressive exterior, the tattoos that line his arms in what you’re convinced is a way to express his creativity while also protecting himself from anyone looking, he was still an Omega. He growled at you and grumbled frequently, ignoring your requests and straight up argued with Jimin frequently.

Jungkook defied every stereotype of an Omega and almost took great delight at doing so. Yet at his heart, just like you were still an Alpha when you stripped everything away, he was still an Omega. The way he would watch with boundless curiosity when you cooked or helped to build the new bookcase you’d bought last week. His sweet nature was always so giving, how he would happily share his food with you and how much he loved affection despite his initial belligerence.

You knew that the only reason you were seeing this Jungkook was because he felt comfortable with you. That you gave him the stability and protection that made him feel like he could be open with you and honest about himself.

“Jungkook...how...okay, don’t answer this question if you don’t want to or anything. But...when we first met, and the second time, you were surprisingly aggressive. For an Omega. And I know, I know, stereotypes and all that. But...having got to know you, I’m a little surprised by how unlike you that was. You’re so sweet and kind and funny, genuine and honest. I was half convinced that you were gonna bite my head off the second time we met.” Jungkook’s cheeks flush bright red at that, one hand coming up to rub at them before he lets out a quiet laugh.

“Yeah...I know. It's an, erm, survival mechanism. My parents taught me to be...bolder than I actually am. Inside, I’m quaking with fear when I act like that because all it takes is one genuine command and I’d be on my knees. Usually an Alpha is so surprised by my aggression that they don’t do anything further. No one wants to fight an Omega, right? And then I make my getaway.” He takes another gummy from the pack, chewing on it carefully.

“That makes sense. Your parents were smart. I know I confused my parents when I was younger because of how...non-Alpha I was. By all of the stereotypes, I should’ve been hammering and pushing around Jimin when I was old enough to walk and shift. But instead, I would let him push me around. It was almost amusing how confused it made them.” You laugh, grinning at him brightly with an aura of smug amusement. “I have the instincts in me, but I don’t feel like-”

“Like you’re being run by them. I get it. Same here. I get the urge to be submissive and quiet and meek, all those lovely instincts that Omega’s have for some godforsaken reason. I just don’t feel the need to let them come to the fore. Instead, I can almost push-”

“Push them away. They’re there, in your head and your body, your wolf knows them, but you don’t need to use them.” Jungkook looks at you for a moment with a serious expression, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly and you wonder what he’s thinking. He looks like he’s considering something.

“I’ve never met anyone who understands what it’s like. And it’s even weirder given how different we are in the pack hierarchy.” Reaching for his drink, he takes a long swallow and you watch the way the muscles in his throat work as he does so, your own mouth suddenly bone dry. His words permeate your mind and you purse your lips, shrugging slightly.

“Same. But...it’s nice not to feel so alone, you know? Part of the reason why I’m running for leadership. I mean, a big part is to shut Jimin up but...I genuinely want to change the way this pack thinks and how it runs. Wolves like us are just as normal as any other and I don’t see why a stereotype should be the way we have to run our lives. You’re an Omega, yes, but you’re so much more than that. I know we have our wolves in us, and there’s part of us and instincts we can never change, but the human side of us needs to learn and grow. Move with the times.” That gets a laugh from Jungkook as he places his bottle back down, grinning at you.

“You sound like you’re giving some great speech. But you’re right. I’ll vote for you.” Looking at him sharply, you scan over his face closely to see if he’s joking or anything. You’d had plenty of people who were being honest when they said they would vote for you, but you’d also had plenty of people who had been joking.

It would be nice if you could say the high school nastiness had stayed in high school. Instead, it had just become an unfortunate personality trait of some wolves.

But his face was serious, his expression earnest and his eyes wide with his sincerity. Your hackles slowly relaxed as you chewed your inner lip before giving him a small nod and an even smaller smile.

“Thanks. I mean...I’m not gonna win but you know.”

“Well, not with that attitude. Come on, you’re an Alpha. Embrace your stereotype for once and be braggadocios. It’s the one time I won’t hold it against you.” Dancing his finger around your nose, he practically sings the words and you laugh while also noting he has a nice voice.

“Okay, okay. I guess. Even though I’m all about dismantling the stereotypes of the pack, I will embrace my own this once. For Jimin and you, because I think between you both, you’re going to drive me crazy until it’s all over.” The Omega laughs loudly, the sound so pure that you can’t help but laugh along as your heart soars and you feel almost light headed. You’re not sure if that’s basically of his basic nature, or if it’s just because it’s Jungkook.

“Good. And while you’re embracing your stereotype, I’m going to take your advice and go against mine and be bold right now,” He pauses for dramatic effect. Or at least, you think it's a dramatic effect, until you see the nervous way his eyes look away from you constantly. “I like being your friend. It’s really good, and I really like it. I do. But...I was wondering if maybe...you wanted to be...more?”

Jungkook’s boldness dies away by the end of his sentence until his words are so soft and gentle, you can barely hear them. His cheeks are a flaming red now and you get the impression he’s trying to hide behind his luscious locks of hair. But you heard the words all the same, and you let go of the breath you’d been holding.

Part of you wants to interrogate him, to ask if he was being serious. If this is what he really wanted. If he was really okay with being with an Alpha. You wanted to make sure this was all comfortable for him.

But the bigger part of you, the part that was jumping for joy and your wolf who was howling in excitement along with you, wanted to just say yes. Jungkook was a grown man. An adult who just happened to be an Omega. If you were serious about ignoring the stereotypes that had been placed on you both, then this would be a prime start.

By letting him have true agency over his decisions and acknowledging that he had evidently thought them through until he had come to this request. Jungkook was naturally shy beneath his veneer of boldness, and you knew he thought things through a lot. So to know he’d been thinking of this...in the same way you had.

You only have one word to say to him, a word you both evidently want to hear and you can’t stop the giant smile that paints across your face as you give it to him.

“Yes.”

Standing in front of the mirror in your bedroom, you contemplate whether to wear the olive green shirt or the buttercup yellow one. It was traditional for the candidates for pack leadership to wear the colours of nature on the election day and you were keen to uphold this one tradition at least. If there was one thing you did agree with the pack on, it was the need to appreciate and love nature.

But still, you were unsure of what to wear. You had to make a good impression after all and you were the only woman going forward for the Pack Leadership. That thought immediately makes you scowl though and you want to pinch yourself. There was no need for you to put more effort in than the other two candidates just because of who you are. That was the kind of thinking you were rallying against.

“You should wear the yellow. It looks pretty on you.” Jungkook’s voice pipes up from where he’s laid on the bed. He sounds a little tired and you know that he’d been up late last night trying to finish the project he’d been assigned by the digital marketing company he worked for. Their deadline had been moved up drastically which meant he’d had to work harder to get everything finished, being one of their few website and graphic designers.

“Really?” You hum, shifting to assess yourself as you hold the yellow shirt in front of you instead. It does look pretty good on you but you were going to be wearing sand coloured jeans. That would be too pale overall and you didn’t want to stand out too much, plus there wasn’t any green in your wardrobe. But then again, the olive would make you look like some kind of army dropout.

“Don’t you have some dark green pants in there? I’m sure I saw them.” With that, he heaves himself out of bed and stretches, looking mighty fine as you’re gifted with the view of his muscled body and tan skin, the abundance of tattoos he loves so much scrawled across his arms. His hair is just as long and ruffled as the day you first met, only it’s looking even more like a mess right now and you snort.

You don’t remember the pants he’s talking about so you wait for him to finish scratching his belly, nails scraping against the fine hair that leads above the band of his boxers. Finally though, he walks over and rummages through your closest while humming lightly to himself. Smiling, you run your fingers along his back and enjoy the way he shivers against you.

It’s been a good few months since the two of you had started dating. The rest of the Pack had been surprised to find out that the impossibly grumpy Omega had finally agreed to date an Alpha and you’d gotten plenty of suspicious words from people over time. There were a lot who didn’t understand why Jungkook was with you of all Alpha’s, given how...unlike the one you were.

But it had also bizarrely had a strange effect on your popularity in the rankings. Given the almost mythical status afforded Omega’s, it was almost like the Pack viewed you as someone more worthy of the very idea of leadership because he’d chosen to be with you. Jimin had told you it was because of yet more antiquated ideas surrounding Omega’s and the fact that a lot of wolves believed that they would only mate with superior Alpha’s.

While you weren’t going to push away the idea of mating with Jungkook, if anything you were pretty positive that your wolf had long ago picked him, you didn’t like the pressure it placed on him. Nor did you like how you felt like you were manipulating the people who were coming to know and appreciate.

You’d tried not to let it bother you too much and had instead focused on getting to know the people of your town and Pack once more while exploring the budding relationship between Jungkook and you. He was perhaps the sweetest wolf you’d ever met with a pure heart of gold and you adored the gruff exterior he presented to keep away others.

“Here it is.” He says proudly, bringing out a pair of olive green pants that you’d forgotten you even had. How he’d found those, you had no idea but you were pleased to see that you’d had the forethought to at least hang them up, meaning there were currently no wrinkles.

Ideally, you’d obviously have washed them but whatever. As long as it looked good and not like a last minute decision. Smiling brightly at him, you take them and pair them up with the shirt, liking the neutral tones that look like sunshine and earth combining.

“Good decision ‘kook. I like it.” You’d already showered, hence why you were currently wrapped in a towel, and carefully chose some underwear as well. This wasn’t as important obviously and you preferred to be comfortable instead of sexy. Though there were certainly occasions when the latter worked...particularly with a certain wolf.

“I’m gonna go shower quickly and then get dressed. We’re meeting up at the parking lot right?” Jungkook asks, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek to avoid morning breath before heading over to the bathroom. You gave him a nod before he slipped inside and began to get ready, taking a deep breath to steel yourself.

Jimin had moved out two months ago and Jungkook had moved straight in, your relationship deepening even further. You’d say it was fast, but you were probably just used to Jimin and Sana’s snail pace relationship. They’d finally mated though and you’d been informed only last week that you would be able to play with a nephew or niece sooner rather than later.

But logically, you knew that a true mate pairing just knew with each other. And you suspected that had happened with Jungkook. You were taking things slow not only for him, but for yourself to make sure that you weren’t just rushing into something. Which was silly, because your wolf wasn’t going to change her mind anytime soon.

Pulling on your clothes, you accessorise with a few pretty rose gold bracelets and a beautiful necklace with a small, bejewelled hummingbird pendant. Jungkook had bought you it for your six month anniversary, which made you laugh because you didn’t realise he’d been counting, but it was a sweet gesture and worked perfectly with your colour scheme today.

A few touches of make up to your face are finished by the time Jungkook comes out and he snorts at the sight of you nearly finished already. Apparently he was constantly surprised by how quickly you got ready, more used to his mom’s time consuming efforts.

He pulls on a white, button up shirt along with some dark grey skinny jeans. Witnesses aren’t required to dress to a code like the candidates were, but you couldn’t deny that he looked almost outrageously attractive. You didn’t even realise you were growling at a subvocal level until Jungkook looked at you with a grin, drying his hair and styling it to make sure he looked good.

He always looked good though.

Before you even realise what you’re doing, you’ve placed the lipstick down you were about to put on and are standing in front of him, arms wrapping around his slim waist to hug him. Jungkook hadn’t buttoned his shirt fully yet so none of your makeup got on his pristine shirt but you didn’t particularly care right then.

Humming lightly, you inhaled deeply and took in his scent, body relaxing as your nerves washed away with his presence. This was why you weren’t protesting your wolf’s choice of mate too much, or the fact that she’d become more insistent over the last few weeks. Because he made you feel happy and stress free.

Honestly, you weren’t entirely sure what you’d been doing before him.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead wrapping his arms around you in turn and simply hugging you back. The two of you sway slightly as he moves you both and his chest vibrates as he hums a song in his usual habit, the sensation gentle against your ear.

“I love you.” The words fall from your mouth before you even realise what you’re doing and you go to freeze, uncertain if he’d accept the words. Declarations like that were not taken lightly in your world given how mate bonds were permanent. You simply didn’t ‘fall in love’ with someone who your wolf didn’t want and trust implicitly.

Which meant you’d just given the game away to Jungkook. And on this very important day that you had been anxiously waiting for, you now had to comprehend with the fact that you needed to hear whether he would reciprocate or deny. Because it was entirely up to him now.

He could respond, meaning all you would need to do was consummate the bond together later, or he could deny you which would mean your relationship probably wouldn’t last much longer. Swallowing thickly, you wait to see what he’d say.

“I love you too.” They’re so soft and gentle that you almost don’t hear them, even with your superior senses. And you get the impression that he’s a little choked up himself, a little shy and beyond all that, happy with the way his arms tighten around you. It makes you want to cry too but you’ve just put your damn makeup on and you are not going to ruin it when you don’t have time.

Pulling away, you look up at him and bite your lip in excitement, taking in the way his eyes practically glitter with reciprocal emotion. You’ve never seen a more beautiful sight in your life. The two of you move like magnets attracted to one another, lips connecting as if there’s not a force on Earth that could stop you both and you sigh into his mouth happily.

It doesn’t take him long though to gently push you away, his hands firm on your shoulders as you whine at the loss of him. He doesn’t give in though, very carefully directing you back over to the make up he’d distracted you from before kissing your forehead quickly.

“There’s no time for that right now. We can discuss this further after the election, okay?” Jungkook’s voice is soft as he crouches next to you, resting a hand on your thigh and giving you the sweetest smile that makes his eyes positively glow. Resting your hand on his cheek, you stroke the skin there softly before sighing and nodding.

“Well...at least one good thing has happened today.” He laughs at that, standing up to finish dressing while you finish up as well. The two of you chat about the show you’ve both been watching, carefully avoiding any discussion of what had just happened or what was about to happen.

It stays like that until you’re meeting up with your friends and family in the parking lot outside the entrance to the forest. Well, there’s lots of entrances but this was the entrance. The one that led to the ancestral clearing that had been used to determine the leader of the Pack for centuries now. Long ago, the election had actually been a competition in which Alpha’s would fight to claim the leadership.

Those who didn’t submit, or die, won the right to lead. Thankfully, that had been outlawed long ago or you wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of entering the election. The very idea was simply barbaric and despite the fact you turned into a wolf, and had a wolf with her own mind inside you, you were still also human.

“You ready?” Jimin asks, smiling at you reassuringly as he moves over and hugs you tightly. Smiling, you press yourself into your brother and inhale the smell of him, the familial connection helping you to relax. Sana soon joins in the hug and you laugh softly, enveloping her too and taking in the difference of her own scent now that she is pregnant. There were subtle hints of Jimin in there, indicating he was the father and you wanted to squeal with excitement.

You’d been beyond happy that they’d finally bonded together after what seemed an absurd amount of time but you were even happier than they were pregnant. The two of them were going to make fantastic parents and you were beyond excited to be an aunt as well.

Looking back at Jungkook, you reach out for his hand and tug him into the hug too, making him whine before laughing. He was still pretty shy with affection in public, almost like he was afraid that people might make comments about him or something but you weren’t going to let him get away with that right now.

That baby was going to be his nephew or niece too now. Though obviously Jimin and Sana didn’t know that just yet. Still though, they welcomed into the hug with open warmth and you sighed happily as some of the most important people surrounded you with their love and support.

“Thank you all for coming.” You mumble before separating yourself from them and giving your parents a hug as well. They give you their own well wishes and support as well and you chat with them for a few minutes about everything that’s been going on, promising to visit them more often.

“Come on, we’ve got to go.” Sana says suddenly, interrupting you with an apologetic smile before looping her arm through your own. The two of you start doing the dirt trail, quiet for a moment as you take the time to inhale the clean scent of the trees that surround you. Reaching out, you run your hand along the rough bark of the trunk of the nearest one and feel yourself centre with the help of the nature surrounding you.

Generations of wolves had been born, lived and died under the watchful gaze of these trees and you wondered what stories they could tell. The love stories they’d seen or the battles they’d been witness to. What would be the story they were going to see today? Would it be you, taking leadership or someone else?

“You’ll be fine,” Sana whispers to you, giving you a big smile before squeezing your arm reassuringly and you give you a tight smile in response. “Seriously, I think you’re going to do great. You underestimate how popular you are with people.”

“That’s just because I’m with Jungkook.” You mutter, pouting slightly as you contemplate just how much of people's warmth towards you was because of what you had done yourself or because you were dating the pretty and mysterious Omega. Glancing back at him, you watch as he chats with Jimin contentedly, laughing softly at the sight of him so big and broad next to your slight brother.

“You’d never think he was the Omega.” Your best friend muses, her tone light as she looks back too and you nod with a snort. Out of the two of them, Jimin looks like he would be the Omega instead of Jungkook. People would get a shock if they tried to treat Jimin like a submissive though. He’d probably bite their head off first.

Your brother could occasionally have a bit of a temper.

“He puts effort into looking that badass. Works though.” Chuckling, you turn back and take in a deep breath as you spot the opening just ahead. There’s sunlight streaming through, giving everything an almost ethereal look and you bite your lip as trepidation burns in your stomach.

“It doesn’t matter if I don’t win anyway. It’s all fine. I took part and hopefully changed some people’s minds too.” Nodding in confidence, you eye Sana for a moment before pushing at her lightly with affection. She raises her eyebrows at you before grinning and you both burst into nervous giggles.

“Okay, okay. Let’s be serious now. Game faces on. This is important.” You say, holding out your hand in front of your face before bringing it down in a gesture to simulate you getting serious. It makes Sana snort but she doesn’t say anything to contradict you. She knows you’re not entirely confident about this but you don’t want her to say anything about it.

Letting go of her arm, you turn and take a deep breath as you take in the faces of support from everyone you love. Sana’s parents along with Jungkook’s have joined now, having already reached the clearing and moving over to be with your supporters on the outskirts. You give them a nod of acknowledgement and thanks before heading into the centre of the circle of trees.

It’s bigger than you’d expect when you heard the word ‘clearing’. The tall sentinels that stand guard in an almost perfect circle have wide, foreboding trunks that indicate they’re old while the centre is wide enough to have wild grass growing freely. The strands sway slightly in the gentle breeze that filters through the trees and you note that there are a few wildflowers beginning to pop up as well, their colours bright and vibrant against the lush green.

Quiet murmuring and soft discussions mean that you can’t hear any of the natural sounds of the forest, the Pack members who were eligible and able to vote clustered around the outer edges. It always surprised you just how many wolves there were in your Pack, particularly considering it was considered to be small compared to Packs elsewhere.

There were a good few hundred people in the clearing though, making it seem even smaller. Even then, a lot of them were actually in the trees, waiting for their moment to come forward and vote. One day, the Pack wouldn’t be able to fit in this clearing. They were already spilling over the edges and you frowned, wondering when it had all gotten so big.

That was a thought for another day though and instead you simply go round, greeting as many people as you can and giving them your most gracious and humble smile. You would be leading these people if you won, but you would also be serving them too. It’s something a lot of people didn’t seem to realise about leadership positions, that they were designed to serve the very people who put them there.

Most were happy to greet you, giving you equally polite smiles and making small talk while there were a few others a little more frosty. You weren’t surprised that the families of the other candidates, Kim Seokjin and Oh Taewon, weren’t exactly the happiest to see you but there wasn’t exactly a lot you could do about that except be civil.

Soon enough thankfully, the current Pack Alpha is calling for quiet. His strong voice has a deep timbre and is still strong, despite his age. Though that might be because he was using the dominance he’d been born with to reinforce his words and ensure that everyone was listening to him.

A few of the Alphas in the crowd bristled to be ordered about, not exactly an unusual occurrence given the clashes of dominance that could happen. It wasn’t usually a problem but with this many wolves around, the election would have to take place quickly to ensure it didn’t cause any issues such as fights.

The quietest whine from behind you causes you to turn, catching Jungkook’s eyes and taking in the slightly distressed look in them. Almost immediately you feel protective, a need to rush over to him and comfort him. You’d been worried about him coming here, with so many dominant personalities present and how he’d handle it all but he’d been determined to come for you.

When he realises you’re watching him, he gives you a tremulous smile that’s a little weaker than he probably anticipated. It makes your heart clench and you catch Jimin and Sana’s attention subtly, indicating towards your boyfriend who was now fidgeting with his hands. They take approximately a second to realise what’s wrong before nodding at you with a smile, Sana’s arm wrapping around his waist in a hug.

It’s not you, but the comfort of someone he knows and trusts makes him relax and you sigh in relief. The last you needed during this moment was to be constantly fretting over him. As much as you love him, you need to get through this.

Turning back, you stand in between the other two candidates and listen to the current Alpha talks. He explains the history of your Pack along with how important the role of leader is. You zone out for a little bit, the nerves causing you to ignore what he’s saying until you realise people are moving forward slowly.

The way your ancestors had devised the more democratic, and less brutal, method of choosing the new Pack leader was for each member to place a stone in a wooden bowl that was set in front of you. Once everyone had voted, the stones were counted by the current Alpha and the leader declared. In case of a tie, the vote was decided by the Pack Alpha, who didn’t vote normally.

As people came forward and voted, you decided that while you appreciated the concept of voting, you didn’t particularly appreciate having to actively watch as people you had come to know voted for others. It was beyond awkward as you tried to avoid eye contact while also making sure you didn’t appear too upset or offended.

But what surprised you more than anything was the fact that...you seemed to be winning? The stones in your bowl were growing more and more plentiful while your opponents had only handfuls each. Frowning ever so slightly, you realised with a start that at this rate, they wouldn’t even need to count the stones. It was that obvious.

Instead of fretting over that, you focused instead on who was giving you their trust and loyalty. The people who were telling you that they thought you were the best Alpha to lead them forward, despite how you’d always been considered a lesser Alpha in the past. Part of you, the part that didn’t think you were ready, wondered how much of their choice had been impacted by Jungkook.

Shaking your head slightly, you pushed the thought away. It didn’t matter at the end of the day. If the final votes kept up like they did, then Kim Seokjin and Oh Taewon were going to be congratulating you on your win and acknowledging your leadership. You, the Alpha who defied all stereotypes.

Smiling slightly to yourself, you looked down at the ground as the final votes slowly trickled in. The win was to such an extent that your bowl looked like it was in serious danger of overflowing and you felt almost embarrassed at it. Glancing over to the other two candidates, you saw them give you a warm smile before they both walked over to give you a congratulatory handshake.

Given how temperamental Alpha’s could be, you were thankful that both Seokjin and Taewon were magnanimous and kind in defeat. Though you supposed that only level-headed Alpha’s would even be allowed to contest the election. No point allowing a candidate who was a hothead and would start a fight just because they lost.

Still, you made sure to be warm and welcoming to them both to avoid any future awkwardness. He current Pack leader, or rather the previous now, didn’t even bother counting the stones and instead moved over to you with a wide grin. Once you’d finished talking with Seokjin and Taewon, he grasped your hand and lifted it high above your head.

“I think this is probably the easiest victory in a while. Which is a testament to the popularity of Y/N and the strong belief that she will lead this pack in a positive way for the future. With this, I officially relinquish my role as leader and bestow it to you. May you experience good health, a fortuitous life and no troubles.” He smiles at you as you have the bizarre knowledge that you’re now higher ranking than he is. This is the wolf who has led the Pack since before you were even born, the wolf you had acquiesced to every time when he made a decree. And yet now, he bowed to you.

Well, he didn’t actually bow. But the metaphor was the same. Eyes widening at the thought, you accept his words before turning to look at the Pack. Your Pack. Catching the sight of your family, you see the tears of joy and pride your mom and dad cry while Jimin beams so brightly at the knowledge his little sister had actually done it.

And then you see Jungkook, who’s smiling so brightly at you that his nose is all wrinkled and his eyes have disappeared into the sweetest crescent moons. His cheeks are flushed with a combination of happiness and what you presume to be stress from the presence of so many dominant personalities but he pushes through it for you, focusing firmly on you as he cheers and howls alongside the rest of the Pack as they celebrate.

Getting them to calm down with a gesture, you laugh as the howls continue for a moment before stopping and simply look over the wolves who are now yours. Yours to rule and nourish, protect and discipline if necessary. It’s a big ask for someone who’s simply a teacher, but if you can handle a day full of moody teenagers then really, the Pack would almost be a vacation.

“Thank you, for putting your trust into me to lead you. I will try my best to be fair and kind, an Alpha who you can come to with your worries and stresses. I know that many of you may question me given...how I don’t appear like other Alpha’s but I promise you that I am just as ready to protect and fight for you if necessary. I am here for you and I will respect each of you. In turn, I expect equal amounts of respect back. I may be your leader, but I am not your ruler. Please, if you have any concerns then bring them to me sooner rather than later. And with that, I think that’s enough of discussing politics for the day. I’m sure you’re all waiting to go back to your homes and have your parties so...please enjoy.” Grinning, you stifle the laugh that wants to erupt at the enthusiastic howls and yells from many in the crowd as they begin to disperse.

Election day in your Pack had long been a day that everyone would take off from their normal work, turning it into a day of voting in the morning and partying in the evening to celebrate the election of their new leader. You would spend a few hours visiting random parties tonight throughout the town, making an appearance to them and showing that you were there before settling in at the party your parents would be hosting.

Glancing over at Jungkook, you bit your lip as anticipation roiled in your stomach. Under normal circumstances, the next few hours would be a breeze as you socialised and got to know people. You may not particularly enjoy it, but you were well versed in how to do it thanks to your job. But today?

Today you just wanted to rush home and into the arms of Jungkook. Because tonight you had more important things to do than having a party. Tonight, you were going to join together as mates for the very first time.

You wish that you could say that you enjoyed the parties that you went to that night, but it would be a complete lie to be honest. What you really want to do is get home, spend some time with your family and friends while you were still in a content and happy mood before spending the night with one Jeon Jungkook.

But you were, after all, the leader now. So you didn’t get to be selfish when it came to things like this. Though you kind of wished that you could because as much as you’d ended up wanting this role despite only doing it because Jimin had bugged you enough to sign up, some of the people in the Pack weren’t very accommodating to you. Or even nice really.

You were generalising really, because the vast majority of wolves who you had met and spoken to tonight had been very sweet and congratulatory towards you. Many of them had openly told you that they’d voted for you, leading to you awkwardly thanking them for their support. A lot of them had laughed at your uncertainty regarding their words but they seemed to appreciate how genuine you were being.

Perhaps they thought you might have ended up being like another Alpha who was brusque and almost rude, as if their support was never in question. There were plenty like that in the Pack and you were glad to give them someone who defied their expectations.

But after three hours of driving around town and greeting people, you were just ready to leave. So you give a polite smile to the young couple whose barbecue you’d crashed along with all of their friends and family, including their grandparents who had haughtily told you that they’d voted for Kim Seokjin, a real Alpha.

That had just amused you and you’d shrugged apologetically when they’d told you, telling them that you’d do the best you could for them to meet their expectations. Of course, they’d just sniffed at that but you didn’t see any point in trying to change their mind.

After finally saying goodbye to everyone there, you hop into your car and drive to your parents house with a relieved sensation in your stomach. Pulling up into their drive, you smile brightly at the sight of the cars of all your beloved friends and family, realising that they’d all congregated here for what must have been hours now.

“Ah, here she is. Our noble Alpha.” Greeted you when you walk through the door, Jimin’s bright smile accompanies his sugary sweet words and you snort in amusement, punching his stomach lightly as he goes to hug you. The whine he lets out is overly exaggerated but he embraces you tightly, his emotions genuine.

“Seriously, congrats. Told you that you could do it.” Rolling your eyes at him, you acknowledge his words with a nod before hugging Sana just as tight. She’s already babbling on about the election and how she’d thought it was going to be tense but that you’d made history with the landslide. Of course, she then starts to suggest laws that she’d like to have in place and you take her hands gently, squeezing them.

“Hey, hey. Sana...I love you, but can I please at least have tonight? We can talk about laws tomorrow, I promise you. Okay?” She pouts slightly, her pretty pink lips giving away her eagerness and you just chuckle.

“Sweetheart, what did we say about talking law tonight?” Jimin asks his mate, brows rising slightly with an expectant look and you watch in fascination as your best friend pouted even further, her shoulders dropping.

“To leave it alone for the night. But it’s important we get started on the right foot!” She protests, looking from him to you and you just smile at her. Jimin sighs deeply before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek affectionately.

“Peanut, I love you, I really do. But I’m sure that Y/N has had a really tiring day and probably just wants to go round and say hi to everyone before dragging Jungkook off.” He’s looking firmly at Sana when he says that but you feel yourself go warm with embarrassment at his words. Not that he’d said anything crude out loud, but because he was perfectly right.

You did want to drag Jungkook off, because you had something very important to do with him. So you take Jimin’s words as permission and give them both a warm smile of happiness before hugging them both tightly together.

“Thank you both for all your support these last few months. I really mean it. I couldn’t have done any of this without you both. Especially you, you weasel. It’s because of you that I probably am going to have a massive headache and a short temper 24/7 with the Pack. I’ve already met some grouchy folk so I’m sure it’s going to be fun.” Jimin laughs loudly at that, his eyes almost disappearing with the intensity of his emotion and he squeezes you even tighter round the neck, causing you to yell as he drags you down.

“That’ll be nothing for my little sister. She’ll put them straight, won’t she?” He teases and you growl, the sound rumbling from your chest without even meaning it. But the wolf inside you is displeased at being caught like this, being restrained, and so before Jimin realises what’s happening, you’ve grabbed his arm and twisted with an enormous amount of force and strength.

A cry leaves him as he gets flung over your body, his ass thumping the ground hard as he lays there with a stunned expression. Not that he should be too surprised really. You’ve done this with him plenty of times over the years so he really should be used to being thrown around by his smaller, younger sister.

Still, it makes Sana laugh with wild abandon at the sight of seeing her mate so thoroughly put in his place. Grinning at her, you give her a high five before heading further into the house and saying hello to the people closest to you.

Your parents give you the tightest hug possible and you can practically feel the pride dripping of them, that their little girl is now the leader of their Pack. It was something they’d told you that you could do as a child but you doubted they’d have ever considered you were actually going to go for it.

“Are you going to quit teaching now? Being the leader is basically a full time job.” Your dad asks, a frown on his face as concern fills his expression. Humming, you shake your head with a smile before squeezing the hand of Jungkook. He’d been talking to them when you’d arrived and had slipped his hand into yours as soon as he’d been able to, the pride in his face possibly equal to the one in theirs.

“No. But I will transfer to the high school here instead. And maybe teach some classes at the local community college for anyone who wants them. I still love teaching and I don’t want to give it up. If anything, I think I want to encourage more people in the Pack to learn. I’m considering offering some cultural lessons to try and broaden the minds of some of our more...reticent members. Maybe offer cultural exchanges by inviting other Pack’s to send a representative and tell us how they operate and live. You know...every little helps right?” Your mom is nodding thoughtfully, her arm looped through your dad's arm and you feel pride at knowing she approved of your thoughts.

“Sounds like a good idea. There’s plenty of people that need to be dragged into the 20th century in our Pack, never mind the 21st century. So if you can succeed in that, then I’ll be a very proud dad.” He grins before hugging you, and you contemplate the fact that you’ve probably never had this much physical contact in years.

“Anyway, as much as I love you all and this is a great party, I’ve already been fed about six times by now so I’m ridiculously full and I’m tired. Are you okay if Jungkook and I head off? I know I’ve barely been-” You barely even get the words out before your mom is pushing Jungkook and you with a tut, rolling her eyes.

“Honestly, you don’t need to apologise. It’s been a big day. For both of you. I’m proud of you too Jungkook, for doing so well with everyone there. So I want you both to go home and just relax! You’ve done enough for today.” Snorting, you let her practically push you out of the door while you manage to wave your goodbyes to everyone, noting the amused expressions on their faces as well.

Getting into the car once more, you turn and look at Jungkook with raised brows. “Ironic that I’ve spent more time with other people at their parties today than with my own parents at my own party.”

“Hey, they understand. Don’t be too worried about it. They’d already told me that they planned on sending you home as soon as you got here to be honest. We all knew you’d be a bit tired and stressed after it all and I don’t think anyone wanted to cause you anymore anxiety than needed after what’s happened.” He says thoughtfully, running his fingers over his lower lip and you hum quietly.

“Are you okay? I’ve been worried about you since I left. It was a lot to take in and you did so well Kook. I’m really proud of you. I can only imagine how hard it was to be there with almost the whole Pack, all those different personalities and dominance battles going on.” Your voice goes soft with worry and you see him smile out of the corner of your eye, reaching out for your hand and intertwining your fingers once more.

“It was hard, yeah. I wanted to run away for most of it but I’ve got a reputation to uphold you know? I’m an Omega, yeah, but I'm also a badass,” He puffs his chest out at that and you snort, gently pushing at him without taking your eyes away from the road too much. “Seriously though, I’m really proud of you too. You were so convinced that no one was going to vote for you because of who you are and how you don’t meet the stereotypes others have for you but...you were wrong. And now you’re our lovely leader.”

“Yeah...you’re right.” Silence falls between you both but it’s not uncomfortable, instead it’s familiar and comforting. Sighing softly, you run your thumb along the back of his hand before smiling once more. You’d managed to do it, despite a year ago being convinced that you wouldn’t even be considered. And along the way, you’d found your mate.

“This morning...what you said...do you still think that?” Jungkook’s voice is soft now and you pause at his words, thinking back and remembering the intimate moment you’d both had in your bedroom. It felt so long ago now, but those emotions came swarming back with a vengeance as you pulled into the parking lot of your apartment building.

“Every word.” Turning the engine off, you look at him with a serious expression and he swallows thickly. His eyes are wide, reflecting the light from the nearby buildings and you feel your heart positively clench at how beautiful he looks. It’s not that he’s innocent, because he’s not, but it’s like he has an innate curiosity and wonder about the world that his eyes can’t seem to hide. As if he wants to learn and see everything before his time ends and you want so desperately to give that to him.

“Me too.” He whispers and you don’t stop yourself from leaning forward in your seat, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that is gentle and yet needy at the same time. The underlying ‘I love you’ is so prominent between you both and you feel the need to mark him. To make him yours and show the whole world that he chose you.

Pulling back, you look at him at him intently and see the way he swallows at whatever he sees in your own eyes. Nipping at his lip playfully, you nose along his cheek before biting softly at his jawline and enjoying the way he gasps.

Sex with Jungkook is more than satisfying and you’ve been pleased to discover that he’s not as submissive as he looks in that department either. There’s days when he takes control and you love it almost as much as the days that he lets you wreak havoc with him. But today is a day when your base instincts will take over, the wolf inside you demanding you dominate your mate to show him that you were capable of protecting him, of loving him and keeping him safe.

Unsurprisingly, Jungkook’s own wolf was obviously telling him to go along with his own instincts as well as he leans his head to one side, revealing the wonderful expanse of golden tan skin stretched over the strong tendons and muscles of his neck. The beautiful skin that is currently unmarked.

“We need to go inside. Now.” You growl and he nods immediately, hands grasping at the door handle before you even finish and you almost want to laugh at his eagerness. But you don’t, because you’re following him every step of the way, almost stalking his steps like the predator you truly were.

The idea of doing this to him normally would be horrifying because it would immediately set off his Omega instincts. And no matter how much he’s managed to suppress them over the years, no matter how much he can pass for something other than what he is, he is still an Omega at the end of the day.

But tonight, the tension in his shoulders wasn’t from fear. It was from anticipation. And from the way he looked back at you with eagerness in those pretty eyes, you got the sense that he was turning this into a little game. The rumble of appreciation rolls from your chest before you even realise and you bite your lip at the sight of him shuddering when you reach the apartment door.

Getting your keys into the door is a bit of a challenge when your mind is solely focused on him. You finally do it though and as soon as the door latches shut behind you, you turn and pull him down for another kiss.

This one is deeper than before and more frantic, the need to join stronger than ever. The two of you leave a trail of clothes through the apartment as you move to the bedroom, his shirt torn from the force of your pull. Humming happily at the feel of smooth, warm skin beneath your palms, you nip at his collarbones playfully and delight in the way he squirms and whines for you.

Running your hands down his toned and muscular stomach, you reach the waistband of his boxers and eagerly pull them down. They slip past his slim hips with complete ease and you resist the urge to salivate at the sight of his cock, bouncing gently as it strains against gravity.

Jungkook is not a stereotypical Omega. He is tall, broad, muscular, tattooed, has a black belt in taekwondo and will snap at anyone if pushed. And his cock is just as beautifully magnificent as the rest of him, not too long to be painful but beautifully girthy and with the most delightful veins that make him whine when you trace over them. In a simple word, Jungkook is physically perfect.

"You're so damn beautiful," The words slip from your mouth reverently and you press your lips to the dip in his hips to a kiss that turns into a nip. "You're perfect and all for me, aren't you?"

As you whisper words of affection, praise and dominance into his skin, you wrap your fingers around his shaft and stroke slowly. The whine he gives it like music to your ears and you growl in appreciation, licking along his stomach before rewarding him with one, slow glide of your tongue along the underside of his cock.

He sighs in contentment at that, his hands clenching and opening repeatedly as he struggles to find something to do with them and you laugh. Pulling back, you stand once more and point to the bed.

"Lay down for me, pretty boy." You almost don't manage to get the words out before he's practically throwing himself on the bed and you have to stop yourself from snorting and ruining the mood. His eagerness to please suddenly is endearing and this is the one Omega stereotype you're glad he embodies.

The sight of him laid out on the bed, his skin almost glowing with health from the soft lighting of the bedside lamp he’d turned on, has you almost turning into a cat as you practically purr in contentment at the sight of him. His big, sweet eyes are focused firmly on you while his cock strains against his stomach, desperate for your touch.

“Good boy.” You praise him sweetly, running your hand along the muscle of his calf and biting your lip at the way he shivers in response. Slowly, you remove the final pieces of your own clothing and delight at the way Jungkook lets out the softest keen at the sight of the damp spot in your panties, a visible sign of just how unbelievably wet you were for him.

It didn’t take much for him to get you going, you’d discovered this in the past, but there’s something particularly delightful about him today. You may not be a typical Alpha but you’d be damned if Jungkook’s willingness to submit right now wasn’t hitting every dominant bone in your body.

Kneeling on the bed next to him, you continue to let your fingers dance along his body in a slow, steady exploration that only heightens his arousal. Everywhere you touch tenses beneath your fingertips and you don’t miss the way his hips subtly move, trying to catch your attention and give him the blessed relief he wants.

But you don’t want to yet. You want to make him desperate for you, to make him whine and pout and cry out for your touch before you finally mark him. The wolf in you demands it, demands his full submission as your mate and you want it as well. From the look of pure need in Jungkook’s eyes, he wants it just as much.

Pressing a kiss to his lips, you dart away from him quickly when he goes to follow and smile at the whine he gives you. Tutting quietly, you begin to kiss down his body in hot, open mouthed kisses that leave a slick mess to follow, a few spots darkening from where your kiss had been particularly forceful.

“What do you want, baby boy? Tell me.” You whisper, biting gently at his hip and enjoying the way he writhes beneath you. There’s almost zero resistance before he’s speaking to you, the subtle whine in his voice telling you he’s trying to hold back.

“I want you. Please. Please. I love you, please.” Pursing your lips, you move down till you’re kissing along his inner thigh, enjoying the way his muscles twitch with need. There’s no missing the way his cock jerks occasionally, his balls tight and firm in your eyesight and you resist the urge to play with them. Not yet.

“Tell me what you want.” The words are repeated back to him and now Jungkook does let out a whine, the sound strained in his throat with frustration and need. But he responds to you perfectly, causing you to grin.

“Please touch my dick. Jerk me off. Lick it. Put your mouth on it. Anything. Please.” He mutters a few more times, almost praying to you with how much he wants your touch on his cock and you pause for a moment to watch him. His face is ever so slightly flushed while his hair isn’t as put together anymore, his hands having ruined what he’d carefully arranged this morning.

“Since you asked so nicely.” You purr to him, voice going low. It’s not really because he asked, but more because you can’t handle not touching him anymore. Not when you want him this badly.

Grasping his cock at the base once more, you give him a slow stroke while squeezing tightly, enjoying how he gasps. A second stroke has his hips jerking, but not nearly as much as when you lick him from bottom to tip, flattening your tongue to try and reach as much of him as you can. The noises he makes are nothing though compared to when you wrap your lips around his head, engulfing him in your mouth and sucking tightly.

It’s pure enjoyment from your part as you take in how he reacts, moving your hand to meet your lips in a rhythm that’s perfect for you both. Head lowering, you press your tongue to him as hard as you can on the way down before hollowing out your cheeks as you rise back up, trying to increase the amount of pressure he’s feeling. The gasps tell you he likes it and you hum, adding vibration to the mix while your free hand moves to cup his balls, running your fingers along him until you find what really makes his hips jerk.

For a few minutes, you continue on like this. Changing up the speed with which you tug on him, the pressure you apply to his cock and how you play with his balls to make sure he doesn’t get too complacent or too near completion. It would ruin the fun if he came too early.

Pulling off him, you begin to lick at his tip almost like you’re enjoying an ice cream, eyes closing as you let your tongue slide around the head of him and find all the places that make him quiver with need. Your hand slows on him as well, squeezing the base of him tightly to stop him from reaching his end if he is near and the reduction in pleasure has him whining your name.

“Please, please. Oh god, please fuck me. Please. I want to be inside you.” He begs desperately, his hands moving to grasp at the covers of the bed as you press kisses to his cock, letting go of it and enjoying the way it stands for a moment for falling back to his stomach with a wet slap from the weight of it. Smirking, you sit up and wipe at your mouth before looking down at him.

His pupils have blown out from lust while his cheeks are a beautiful, rosy pink and his chest is breathing a little heavier than before. Moving over him, you carefully avoid his cock as you lean down to kiss along his neck, biting gently and sucking in other places before moving up to his mouth. It’s already swollen from your previous kiss and the way he keeps biting at them, but it doesn’t stop you from nibbling on his lower lip.

“You want to be inside of me? Do you think you deserve to be in me, baby boy?” You ask the question lightly, whispering the words into his ear and he shivers in response. Jungkook is nodding before you’ve even finished speaking and you hide your smile.

“Yes, yes please. I’ve been good. I was good today, right? Please. Please let me.” Sitting back up, you lift yourself and grasp his cock, straightening it till the tip is brushing against your wet folds. The slight sensation has him making the strangest noises, his throat tight while his hips try to push up and you tut at him.

“Stop pushing. We go at my pace, okay?” He settles down, forcing himself to be still at the thread of dominance you weave through your words before nodding. Feeling a little bad that you’d done that, you lean forward and kiss him gently.

“I’ve got you baby boy, don’t worry. I love you.” You try not to grin at how he almost preens at that, his chest pushing out while happiness and pride fills his eyes. Despite the lust rushing through your body and the incessant desire that makes your pussy ache to have him inside you, your chest feels full of love for him.

Slowly, you lower yourself onto his cock. There’s no foreplay for you, but then you don’t need it given how wet you already are for him. Slowly, he penetrates you inch by inch and you let you the deepest sigh of relief once you’re finally seated on him, clit rubbing against his pelvis as you lean forward ever so slightly.

You feel full and an experimental squeeze of your muscles has slight pleasure rolling through you while Jungkook moans at being so deep inside your warm depths. Biting your lip, you rock your hips slowly and feel the perfect friction as his cock slides out of you before pushing back in just as deep. The slickness of your excitement allows him to glide with each and you hum at how good he feels.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good in me,” Panting slightly, you slowly speed up your movements until the room is filled with the lewd sound of him slipping in and out of your soaked pussy. “Mmmm, Jungkook. Fuck, you’re perfect.”

Half of you isn’t even actually sure what you’re saying anymore to be honest, the sensation of him inside you as you fuck him is all you can really focus on and you’re just saying whatever comes to you. But it’s all praise for the man beneath you, the man who is grasping the sheets so hard to avoid touching you yet because you haven’t given him permission to.

Who is holding himself so steady to avoid pushing up into you, letting you use his body however you want. You love it and opening your eyes, you tell him so while shifting, leaning forwards ever so slightly to lightly scrape your nails along his chest. It makes him writhe and whimper, the sound deep from his throat and you automatically squeeze around his cock when you hear it.

“Good boy.” You whisper absentmindedly, your fingers reaching down to rub at the swollen flesh of your clit. It’s almost hard beneath your touch from how turned on you are and you slick your fingers in the sticky mess before rubbing in a rhythmic circle that has you gasping and tightening.

Rocking your hips on top of him, you take all the pleasure that you can get and slowly, your movements begin to match so every circle of your fingers is complemented by a rock of your hips. You mix it up occasionally, circling your hips and sighing in relief at how Jungkook’s cock presses against every part inside of you that sparks fires of pleasure.

“Touch me Jungkook. I want your hands here,” You take one of them and press it to one of your breasts, making his fingers twist and pull at your nipple in exactly the way you love. “And here.”

His other hand goes to your clit and you press his fingers in exactly the manner that you enjoy the most. It feels even better with the extra stimulation and you whine loudly, the sound mixing with your gasps as you feel almost overwhelmed.

“Are you close?” You whisper to him, opening your eyes after a few minutes of enjoying some of the best sex you’ve ever had with him and he nods quickly. His eyes are scrunched close, jaw tight as he clenches his teeth together in a desperate effort to control himself. Your wolf growls at the sight of it and you feel your chest rumble too, the sound causing Jungkook’s hip to push up automatically.

“I want you to knot me,” Moving to almost lay on him, you kiss and nip at his jaw insistently as his eyes widen suddenly at your words. “I want you to fill me up with your cum until you’re spilling out of me.”

“Seriously?” He pants and his hands still on yours. Looking into his eyes, those beautiful eyes that you love so much, you nod and kiss him deeply. Tangling your tongue with his, your hands move to cup his cheeks almost tenderly as the kiss takes over your thought process. Your hips slow down until you’re simply rolling them, your clit getting the pleasure of rubbing against him and it suddenly changes from sexy to intimate.

Parting from his lips, you pant softly, chest heaving from the effort of riding him for so long before nodding. “I want you to cum in me, and I want your knot. I want you to breed me while I bond with you, fill me up with your pups. Do you understand me?”

His eyes are bigger than ever and you wonder if he’s about to say no or something. Knotting is only done when you’re trying to impregnate and you want that desperately, want to feel him swell inside you until you can’t even move while he fills you up with rope after rope of thick cum. The thought of almost intoxicating and you tighten around him.

“Give me your knot baby, give it to me. I know you can. Don’t you want to give me pups? Watch me grow with them, all with the knowledge that they’re yours? See your Alpha, your leader, all swollen with your pups while I deal with everyone, knowing that they can see I’m yours?” The dirty, dark words whispered into his ear work and he lets out a deep growl of his own, the first time you’ve ever heard him growl.

His hands grasp at your hips, holding you steady as he begins to thrust up into you and you moan in delight at the increased sensations. You encourage him along, nipping at his jaw and continuing to coax him to knot you as you squeeze on his cock tightly, trying to encourage him and you finally begin to feel it.

It starts almost slowly and you’re not sure it’s happening at first, but then you’re certain his cock is beginning to swell in you. Reaching between you both, you rub at your clit exactly how you like as he continues to expand slowly, his jaw clenched so tightly. Any sign of the sweet, innocent Omega you’d fallen for is gone at the moment and you could easily mistake him for an Alpha with how strong he looks.

His hair is matted to his forehead, the strands ink black while his skin shines with the sweat he’s worked up and you’re not sure you’ve ever seen a hotter sight. Though looking between you both and taking in the sight of his cock thrusting into your pussy, there may be one thing hotter.

“Cum for Jungkook. Knot your mate.” Panting into his ear, they must be the magic words because he pushes into you harder than ever, pressing down on your hips to keep you in place while he swells inside you. A deep moan that sounds like it’s been pulled from his chest comes from him and you shudder as your own release takes over, pussy tightening around him as your orgasm washes through you.

Before it finishes, you snarl softly and bare your teeth, the fangs that have grown suddenly biting into the soft skin of Jungkook’s neck as you mark him. He stiffens momentarily before letting out a ridiculously loud groan, his knot growing even bigger and you hum contentedly as you practically feel him orgasming inside you.

The remnants of your own orgasm continue to rush through you and are intensified when Jungkook bites back at your own neck. Almost immediately, you feel the mate bond snap into place between the two of you as you mark each other at the point of orgasm. There’s no ceremony, no special words, just pure instinct that drives you both to fulfil this need.

Pulling your fangs from him, you slowly lick at his neck to help the wounds to heal while he does the same to you. Warmth fills you with the knowledge he’s your mate now while you can feel the oddest sensation of the knowledge that someone else occupies space within you now. You can’t talk to him telepathically or anything like the books, but it’s more just an awareness that he’s there.

A bottomless pit of love and protection for him along with an oath to love only him for as long as you live.

Resting against him, you take a moment to simply enjoy the feeling of being on him while his knot continues to keep you held in place. The knowledge that he could even now be impregnating you is hot and you sluggishly lift your head up to gaze into his own tired eyes. Jungkook gives you a slow smile and you kiss him lazily, realising the sensation feels a little different now that you’re bonded.

“I love you.” You whisper, your dominant flair vanishing in the comfort of his embrace as he wraps his arms to simultaneously hug you and keep you in place to avoid you hurting yourself. A gentle kiss is pressed to your nose before he kisses you once more, a quiet hum of contentment leaving him.

“I love you too.” Neither of you say anything after that, simply enjoying each other as you wait for his knot to go down. When it finally does, there’s an almost uncomfortable feeling as a rush of his cum begins to seep out of you and onto him. You’re used to him orgasming inside you, knotting was the only way to get pregnant and wolves didn’t get STI’s like humans after all, but this was entirely different.

“God, how much did you cum?” Laughing, you shift until you can see between you both. His cock has slipped out of you now, resting against his thigh and shiny with your own excitement. But your thighs and his groin are beginning to become covered in white cum as it drips out of you.

“Well...you did tell me to get you pregnant.” Is all he says, his face innocent and you laugh loudly at that. Nodding slowly, you kiss him once more and enjoy how comfortable he is with you. There’s not much you wouldn’t do for him, you decide to yourself.

“I guess I did. You did a good job...baby boy.” Teasing him for how much he likes his submissive nickname, you watch as his face screws up into a scowl and he goes to reach for you. But you dance out of the way, moving off the bed and heading to the bathroom while he whines quietly.

“Please don’t call me that in public. I’d never live it down.” He begs and you pause at the door frame, looking back at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Well...I guess the only solution to that is that you give me a reason to make sure I only use it in private...right?”

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