#i mean it's normal and human to be mean and fight from time to time

[cosmicjoke]

Parallels and Contrasts between Levi and Eren in "Bad Boy" and "Attack on Titan":

So one thing I find really interesting is the parallel and contrast between Levi and Eren in the two scenes in which we see them kill for the first time, and what it tells us about each of them.

I talk a lot about how Levi isn't naturally inclined toward violence, while Eren very much is, and I think we see that truth play out in how opposing these two scenes are, and how Levi ends up in the opposite position from where he started, and with Eren, vice versa.

In Eren's scene, he seeks out the men who have kidnapped Mikasa, and does so with the express purpose of killing them. Eren is the aggressor throughout the opening pages of this scene.

He uses manipulation to attack and kill the first man, pretending to be lost and seeking help. He gets the man to let his guard down and then stabs him to death.

This isn't normal for any child, but most especially one who's grown up with a quiet and stable life the way Eren has, free of violence or brutality of any kind. And yet we see him here take very naturally and easily to taking another human beings life.

He then uses further, manipulative tactics to draw the second man after him to catch him in an ambush, and we see here that Eren has come prepared. He's fashioned a kind of spear out of a mop, tying a knife to it's end and charging the man with it. This shows premeditation on Eren's part. Again, he came there absolutely planning on killing these men, and had a plan worked out as to how he would go about it. A plan that worked with frightening efficiency.

He runs the man through and then falls on top of him, taking up his first weapon.

And then begins to stab him repeatedly and violently, screaming that he's an animal and that he's getting what he deserves.

Now, let's compare this to Levi's scene.

Levi seeks these men out, too, but it's for a totally opposing reason and with completely different expectations. Levi goes there hoping to retrieve his mother's tea set, but we can see from him immediately getting beaten down that he didn't go into this situation with any, real forethought or plan. One of the men says he tried "sneaking onto a cart headed for the surface", but clearly he was caught, and we can guess that Levi didn't do a very good job of thinking this situation through or trying to be subtle. And, as we'll see in a few pages, he didn't go there at all with any plan of success.

Levi continues to get the hell beaten out of him, and appears completely helpless, which he is. Compare this to Eren, who easily took out the first man, and then proceeded to do the same to the second, using manipulation and premeditation.

Levi shows an honestly heartbreaking passivity here, telling the men to give "it" back, meaning his mother's belongings, but again, showing no real plan or initiative towards convincing these men to do as he asks. He continues to be manhandled and talked down to, easily overpowered and unable to do anything as they refuse, and begin talking about selling him as a prostitute. And then the man holding Levi by the hair says "We should make him do the same job as his mother. He might have inherited her talents."

And finally we see Levi fight back. Only when his mother is spoken badly of does he do this, and we see what happens. Levi's punch is totally ineffectual against the man, and only serves to make him angry, leading to the man beating Levi repeatedly and brutally with his head against the stone ground. It's important to remember, now, that Levi has been raised by Kenny for the last, several years at this point, and taught how to fight by Kenny, a man who makes a sport of taking human life. He's been raised in a world of violence and cruelty and desperation, a marked contrast to the world Eren was raised in, one of mundanity, safety and peace. Eren, who was raised by a doctor, a man of healing, vs Levi, who was raised by an honest to god serial killer, a literal man of death. And yet, it's Eren who shows unusual ability and determination in taking the lives of Mikasa's kidnappers, planning out exactly what he needed to do to succeed, using lies and manipulations to get these men into a vulnerable position and then striking unexpectedly, while it's Levi who gets beaten down and brutalized, because he had no, real, plan, because he went into a situation he couldn't handle, knowing he couldn't handle it. Levi shows no, real cunning here. No cleverness or deception. As he says on the next two pages:

He went into this situation expecting to die, only wanting to "rebel", wanting to "spit on this shitty world", to defy the ugliness of his life and this existence by refusing to give up the only good thing he'd ever had to it, that being this single memory of his mother. He knew he wasn't going to succeed, but he only wanted to stand up to the cruelty of it all, even if that meant dying.

And then Levi's power awakens, sparked by his physical body being put in mortal peril.

And here we see Levi's and Eren's positions flip.

Eren finally lets his guard down, thinking he's taken out all of the bandits, only for Mikasa to tell him that there were three.

And then, not expecting or planning for this, Eren starts to get beaten down. The same thing happens to him here as happened to Levi. He gets kicked in the stomach and immobilized as a result.

But even in this state of being beaten up, and then starting to be choked, we still see Eren struggling and fighting. His face is one of rage and determination, even as he's getting the life choked out of him. And he tells Mikasa "Fight!!". This, again, is a marked contrast to Levi's demeanor of passivity and helplessness while he was being beaten up. Levi was resigned and showed no, real anger until, again, they started talking badly about his mother. And even then, it wasn't enough to keep the fight in him. We see his limp hand against the ground as he begins to be beaten to death, his entire body language one of giving up. Compare this to Eren, who, even as he's being choked to death, stares with absolute hatred and rage at the man with his hands around his throat, as he tells Mikasa again to fight, that if she doesn't fight, they were going to die.

When Levi's power awakens, his mind is flooded with all the power and knowledge of every Ackerman that came before him, and it's THAT, not his own will to survive, that moves his body into action.

Levi says here that he didn't think it was strange that something had happened to him at the time. He talks about a calmness coming over him, and then:

He talks about the idea of what to do just coming to mind suddenly, and him following the instinct of that and acting accordingly.

This was similar to a fight or flight response, without any real, conscious thought to action on Levi's part. He's just doing what his body suddenly knows to do, rooted in his Ackerman lineage, more than anything to do with Levi's actual personality or will.

Again, this is a truly sharp contrast to what we see from Eren, who premeditated the murder of these men. Who went into his encounter with them fully determined and expecting to kill them. He only ended up needing Mikasa's help because he made a mistake, failing to account for the third man. In contrast, Levi would have certainly died if his power hadn't, totally involuntarily, awakened when it did.

It important to see how both these scenes basically play out in reverse, and I think the fact that they do demonstrates how Levi was always a foil to Eren's character, by showing how Eren was always naturally inclined toward violence, always had an affinity for violence, despite growing up in a peaceful life with a loving mother and father, while Levi was very much the opposite, very passive and showing no, real affinity for violence until his power awakened, this despite his growing up in desperate and cruel circumstances, and having spent years with Kenny, a brutally violent man, teaching him everything he knew.

[tobiasdrake]

I'm curious what Tenshinhan's fighting style is beyond general weirdness lol. I always interpreted it as a "showing off" sort of style back in the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai, with most of his moves being visually impressive and/or intended to instill despair in his opponent, but then you have his kikōhō, a move that damages the self for greater strength...

Tenshinhan is fucking weird is what he is.

I mean that sincerely. Fitting for a man who walks in with three eyes like that's totally normal and no one ever speaks of it, Tenshinhan's style comes straight from the realm of the bizarre and esoteric. He's an outside-the-box challenger to test the limits of Goku's counter-fighting.

He is the drunken boxer. The fighting game character that plays utterly differently from all other characters, making them hard to learn but unpredictable when mastered. Ten forges his own way through martial arts with off-the-wall tricks and game-changing shenanigans.

It's just. Easy to forget how weird he is because the rest of the cast have thoroughly cannibalized his style. Kame-senryu are a bunch of fucking thieves.

This eye-searing image is the most normal thing Ten has in his repertoire.

Ten and Chiaotzu lay out that they're going to be... unlike anything we've seen before right from the get-go, when they use psychic powers to rig the matches.

Already, it's clear that we're about to see some weird shit. Both of these characters are built on the martial arts philosophy of "Okay what the hell even is that, how did you even bring laser eyes to a knife fight?"

Ten in particular is a formidable martial artist.

But as early as his first match, the oddball nature of his abilities start to settle in.

Okay, so Ten can just Nope any Kamehameha thrown at him. Sure. Guess that's a thing now. New rule, guys: No more Kamehamehas.

But you also kinda get it. Like. Tsuru-senryu is the rival school to Kame-senryu, and the Kamehameha is the signature technique of Kame-senryu. So it makes sense that they'd develop countermeasures for the Kamehameha.

Also, they can levitate.

Well, that's going to make scoring a ringout fucking hard, isn't it? One of the two ways you win in this tournament is by making your opponent fall in the grass outside the ring, and these fuckers can fly.

That's unfair, is what that is. They don't even need to use helicopter tail shenanigans or a well-aimed Kamehameha for propulsion to do it. They can just decide that they don't feel like being rung out today.

This is the first technique that doesn't seem so special today because everybody cannibalized their Bukujutsu. But at the time, it was unique. Even Taopaipai, their idol, couldn't fly. He got around by the delightfully comical method of throwing something really hard and then jumping on it and being taken for a ride.

Taopaipai was doing Breath of the Wild rock transit decades before it was cool.

As the tournament picks up, Chiaotzu foreshadows the bizarre nature of the fights ahead when he reveals his ultimate technique: Binding his opponent in place with psychic powers so they can't defend themselves.

That's. Not. Really. A martial art? Even by the incredibly loose definitions already on display in this manga. It's closer to General Blue's paralyzing glare. And there's a lot more of that to come.

Further included in Ten's repertoire of Weird Shit (TM) is his third eye, which serves a vital function in combat until everyone starts ki sensing and it ceases to be relevant.

Ten has enhanced perception, allowing him to see things that others can't. This is notably distinct from being able to sense people by following their ki signatures. A distinction the Muten-Roshi helpfully lays out by stating he can't see Goku but can sense him just before Ten confirms he can still see him.

When Goku meets Popo, we'll have entered the realm where the limitations of human eyesight can no longer keep up with the speeds of the characters, and learning to perceive through ki sensing becomes necessary.

But right now, Ten's enhanced perception lends him a number of edges over other martial artists that have to rely on eyesight to track their foes. Advantages such as thwarting this particular invisibility technique of Goku's.

Or piercing the illusion of the Zanzoken/Afterimage speed technique.

As an aside, I love the way both of those moments draw attention to Ten's two normal eyes looking one direction while his third looks the other. It's such an eerie but effective way of conveying the idea that he can see more than a normal man.

Ten and Chiaotzu play by different rules than everyone else.

Sometimes he has four arms. That's life, man. Again, they make a point of showing us what this looks like as a speed technique:

Both to set up Goku's counter for this and also so that we understand how meaningful it is that Ten is not doing that. Chapa and later Goku perform Hasshuken, moving their arms so fast it creates the illusion of eight. Ten physically sprouted two extra arms. He can just. Like. Shapeshift, I guess. He's a flying shapeshifter who sees faster than everyone because of his three eyes and he hangs out with a telekinetic doll.

Also he can flashbang his opponents as a clincher.

This is another move that seems mundane now because everyone stole it from him. They took his Bukujutsu/Levitation and they took his Taiyoken/Solar Flare. But it's another data point on the list of ways Ten's such a weird and complicated opponent to try and fight.

Even by the standards of Tsuru-senryu, he's weird. Taopaipai didn't do half of this shit. Ten specifically refers to the Taiyoken/Solar Flare as a New Tsuru-senryu technique, which implies that he created it himself.

Which makes me wonder just how much of his moveset is actually part of the Tsuru-senryu curriculum and how much is Ten. Just. Being weird.

Notably, at the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai, Ten shows up with something even more absolutely freakish than the Shiyoken/Four-Armed Fist.

Shishin no Ken also known in English as the Multiform Technique is another departure from your illusory speed techniques, in that Ten splits his body into four bodies. How does he do that? Fuck you, that's how. This is the evolution of both his enhanced perception and his ability to sprout extra arms - And, in being so, a demonstration of how Goku has left him behind.

It's an admittedly creative solution to the problem that Goku, following his training with Popo, can move too fast for even his three eyes to follow. But now he has twelve eyes.

TWELVE. That's as many as four Tens! And that's terrible.

The Shishin no Ken was another weird-ass technique from a weird-ass martial artist, serving a practical function in enhancing Ten's unique characteristics to compensate for Goku's now godly abilities.

But it was ultimately undone by a catastrophic vulnerability, which is the reason nobody ever tried this shit again.

Splitting into multiple copies of yourself turns you into a team of useless scrubs who can't throw a punch to save your life. It's a bad technique and was written off immediately after this fight, never to be seen again.

...except in anime filler, where everyone stole that from Tenshinhan too.

You guys were both at the tournament when Goku pointed out that this technique makes you throw punches like slow, limp noodles! Come on, guys! These characters would not even try this shit.

But I digress.

Not to be outdone, Chiaotzu invented a technique where he blows himself up and dies ineffectually.

Tenshinhan never let him fight another person again for the rest of his life. This cost him fighting privileges. Straight up left him with the non-combatants during the Android arc. You are done, Chiaotzu.

Look, just because their shit is weird doesn't mean it's all good.

Of course, we can't talk about Ten without talking about the Big Gun. His ultimate technique. The thing he's known for better than anything else, especially by people who never watched or read the material prior to Raditz.

The Kikoho/Tri-Beam is not a Tsuru-senryu technique or a Kame-senryu technique. It's not even a Tenshinhan original. It's a forbidden technique known to both schools but, at least in the Muten-Roshi's opinion, inappropriate to ever pass on. Tenshinhan's going to use it to win at recreational sports.

And people complain about Korra entering the Avatar State to win a race. If Goku broke out the Genki-Dama/Spirit Bomb to punch Krillin out of the ring, Kaio would have his ass for that....

The Kikoho is, so far as we know, the most powerful individual technique in Dragon Ball in terms of the gulf between the wielder's power and the destructive force output by their technique. It punches far above Ten's weight class. Whether that means:

Managing to fuck up Nappa pretty bad.

Holding back Semi-Perfect Cell.

Or even dissipating a shot from Super Buutenks, the Kikoho is in a league of power far beyond anything Tenshinhan would be capable of himself. This technique lends Ten the ability to show up and be occasionally useful even after the power scales leave him far behind.

At least, for a short time.

Sorry, man. You cannot fight at this level. But at least you got that killer shot in.

Tenshinhan and Chiaotzu are wild cards. Not as characters, mind you, but as martial artists. Their greatest strength is their unpredictability. You never know what they're going to pull out of their pocket next, which for a time made Ten in particular into a fun and engaging rival for the ever-analytical Son Goku.

[actual-changeling]

genuine question is aziraphale truly selfless if he does most selfless things to feel good? And is crowley truly selfless if he's ready to run as option b when things go really south? I don't mean to start bs i really wonder abt that for a while now

have a good weekend :)

Two very different questions, so let's have a look.

Being selfless is (broadly) defined as caring more about other people's needs, wants, and well-being than your own. If you only care about other people because you personally benefit from it, that's selfish, even if you still help people in the process.

While the outcome is the same, the intention and motivation behind it are opposites. So no, Aziraphale is not selfless because he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself (which has been canonically established over and over again).

Crowley, on the other hand, genuinely cares about people and helps because he doesn't want anyone to get hurt. Whether it's goats, children, humans, or a random angel he doesn't even know—his acts of kindness are coming from a selfless place.

Sure, sometimes he is selfish, and sometimes he helps people because it's important for reasons outside of their well-being, but that's normal, that's what everyone does. No one is 100% selfless all the time. But compared to Aziraphale, his kindness is genuine.

I have talked at length about the fact that Crowley is not a runner. His plan B is not to run away, it never has been. He fights until it seems hopeless and then he fights some more; he was ready to go down with his stars, with the universe, with planet earth, and he paid greatly for that.

However, even if he were to prioritize keeping himself safe, his previous actions would still be selfless. Just because he is slowly learning how to centre his life around himself (something everyone needs to learn how to do or you're gonna be fucked up and exhausted and then die unhappy) doesn't mean he suddenly no longer cares. Crowley is starting to find a balance away from Aziraphale, and that's good. He's allowed to do that.

[duvewing]

little pet peeve of mine is when a person’s only idea to make kyrie a ‘stronger character’ is to just give her a sword

[raeygina-george]

I need to do art style studies but i CAN'T

[loverboybrightsideghost]

3, 20, 25?

3- Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

it's Queen, and okay yes everyone knows queen, but i feel like this year i actually listened and particularly appreciated them more. i have the LP of a night at the opera and every single song on that album is imprinted in my soul it's sooooo good. i got another queen record recently so >:)))) i plan to one day get them all, or at least all the ones i like (which is probably gonna be all of them anyways lol)

20- what's something you learned this year?

someone told me this a few years ago, but this year especially is when it really sunk in for me: if you think you're really good at something (like in a hubris-y way specifically), you're not as good as you think you are, and if you think you're really bad at something, you're not as bad as you think you are. 

i also learned from antigone funn and bijou from wooden overcoats that "you're out there, being you, in front of other people!" "that matters to you?" that matters. your heroes may seem perfect and graceful and put together, but they're people just like you and just like you, they get nervous and have their own insecurities. you are your own worse critic, and that also applies to the "best of the best" too. and here's the thing, no matter how good or bad ANYONE thinks they are at their craft, it matters to somebody out there. maybe it's just you, and maybe it's someone in a crowd you'll never meet, or maybe it's someone long long after you're dead. but what we do matters.

25- did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? describe one.

sadly i did not :/ i can tell you a bit about my oc renata though (in the tags)

[pepprs]

like . omg i know i need to stop POSTINGGGG but god thinking abt the argument w my parents last night and all the implications of it hurts so bad it’s unreal it hurts literally so bad. and it is ruining my life in so many ways and ive been fighting back tears all day bc of it. Lol

[heniareth]

Help my Lavellan's found Inquisitor Ameridan and he's asking about his friends and the Dales and I don't know what to tell the poor man

[anarchywoofwoof]

i feel like i'm going to vomit

raytheon, who is a salesperson on behalf of agony and death, casually unfolded their disgusting, exploitative blueprint of human destruction in their latest earnings call. raytheon executives, in suits soaked with the blood and sweat of global suffering, gaped at the "opportunity" unfolding re: the ongoing war crimes and horrific brutality being carried out Palestine.

while Palestinians watch everything they've ever loved get turned to rubble, raytheon stockholders see dollars in destruction, profit in pain, and business blooming on the battlefield. imagine, turning the tremors of traumatized, suffering people into a system of fuel for your war machine - this is their normal. this is the shit that sales people at raytheon live for 9 hours a day and then go home and sleep at night.

history bleeds from the pages of raytheon's diary, filled with tales of technologized terror, largely carried out against minority peoples with little means to fight back or defend themselves. tales where human lives are turned into rows and columns on spreadsheets and civilizations’ calamities are converted into cold, hard cash trails.

meanwhile, the boardroom buzzes and swarms with heartless vultures, circling the globe, eyes peeled for the next plot of despair to descend upon, beaks ready to peck at the literal carrion of communities in conflict.

oh, and Biden's Defense Secretary was on the Board

“see a benefit,” they have the fucking audacity to say, as if the orchestras of war are trumpeting some sort of symphony of success for their gross and disgusting contributions. raytheon's portfolios pulsate with the rhythms of air strikes and raids, and their balance sheets boom with the bass of bombs dropping on communities that have been traumatized so many times over that they have nothing left to give.

in the tragedy of others, raytheon finds triumph. in the heartbeats silenced by their symphonies of destruction, they find the rhythm of their entire revenue stream.

the engine of exploitation, oiled with oppression and fueled by the flames of conflict, roars at the center of raytheon's profit model. call it out when you see it: capitalism is incompatible with the preservation of human life.

[x]

[daytaker]

The Gang React to You Breaking Your Ankle

Lucifer

"This was bound to happen sooner or later."

I mean, really, with all the stunts you play with his brothers and that sorcerer, it's more surprising that you didn't break anything before now. Thank goodness your room is on the ground floor. Now, here is a schedule of where you need to be and when, along with the brother who is your designated companion at all times to ensure you don't get stuck somewhere or fall over and break something else. This is a rotating position so stop fighting all of you!

Mammon

"Holy shit, humans break easy, huh?"

Assuming for the moment that Mammon didn't accidentally get your ankle broken by pulling some stupid stunt for Devilgram clout and involving you in it, he'll be extra careful with you for a little bit. People keep jostling you in the hall! Don't they realize you're basically made of glass and paper?! He'll clear the halls for you to hobble by with your crutches. Yep, you're earning all sorts of new friends.

Leviathan

"E-sports are the best activity when you're injured."

What a convenient excuse to drag you to his room more often than usual for anime marathons and all-night gaming sessions. Like Mammon, he's a little uneasy about this revelation about just how delicate you are, but nobody gets injured playing video games. He's basically protecting you from your next inevitable accident.

Satan

"Stop trying to do so much on your own."

Satan acts extremely annoyed when he sees you trying to hop somewhere without your crutches or lifting anything more than fifteen pounds unaided. Of course, he's just worried about you and expressing that in the most practical way he can. He repeatedly reminds you of advice on improving your recovery rate he found in medical books and the blogs of reputable physical therapists (he always checks into their credentials).

Asmodeus

"Poor thing! Let me spoil you!"

And that's basically what he does, whenever he gets the opportunity. This is a great excuse to get some much needed R&R, in his opinion, so the two of you will be visiting spas and getting massages and you aren't walking anywhere anymore, he is one of the Rulers of the Underworld and you are going to be carried on a litter, so help him Gardonus.

Beelzebub

"You need to eat well to get your strength back."

Prepare yourself for Beel's version of "eating well". You only had three eggs for breakfast? You'll never heal at that rate. Have another six and some bacon. Here's a protein shake. It's designed for demons so it's probably a little grittier than the soft stuff from the human world but it's exactly what you need. No, he doesn't have any science to back this up. Yes, he expects you to clean your plate.

Belphegor

"Of course you got hurt, running around all the time. You should just relax with me."

Little did you know this was all part of Belphegor's master plan...

What a perfect opportunity to spend every second of the day with you. Now that you're forced to sit around and avoid being too active, he has you right where he wants you (specifically, under the blankets with him while he sleeps). He'll remind you at every opportunity that you normally run yourself ragged, and you've earned some time to laze around. And now that you're injured, you have the perfect excuse!

Diavolo

"Your poor human bones... My home is always open to you if you need somewhere more convenient to stay. Please take care of yourself, in the meantime."

Rest assured, he will provide you with all transportation necessary to and from RAD. Or perhaps you would like to try remote classes? Leviathan finds them productive! And if you need anything, please let him know. He'll be in touch about five times a day just to make sure you remember that.

Barbatos

"I am only a phone call away should you require my assistance."

And he will be on call at all hours of the day and night, just in case. You'll be treated like royalty when you visit the castle too, of course. (Even more like royalty than usual, that is.)

Solomon

"Oh, that? Here."

He just magics your ankle better. There, there, little apprentice. He's surprised you didn't do that yourself.

Simeon

"What are you carrying? I'll take it for you. No, I insist!"

Simeon will be a perfect gentleman, helping you up and down stairs and carrying your books and shopping for you. He's very concerned about you somehow re-injuring yourself, and even when you're alright to walk without crutches anymore, he still *really wishes* you'd use them for an extra week or two, just to be on the safe side.

Luke

"You did what to your ankle?! Ankles can do that?!

Congratulations, you've introduced Luke to the concept of broken bones, and he will find the human skeleton creepy and gross for the rest of his life.

--------

@thefandomthings I know this isn't exactly what your ask was, but it's similar, so I hope you like this!

[headspace-hotel]

okay but like this is what deeply bothers me about the whole "tiktok is making people think every negative experience is a trauma!" thing

Trauma is common. Like really common. How do we accept statistics like "1 in 4 women has been sexually assaulted" or "1 in 3 people grew up in a home with domestic violence" or whatever number of people will fight cancer or be in a car crash or an abusive relationship, and at the same time doubt any suggestion that a lot of people may actually be traumatized?

It's in our cultural definition of trauma—that trauma is some extreme event outside "normal" life, and that the people that experience it are a sequestered group that is well outside the "average" person.

but like, even strictly Criterion A PTSD type "traumatic" events are...not rare. at all. You can be a hardass about it and say that you have to be raped or threatened with death or violence to have trauma, and that's still a lot of people that have experienced that. People around you. People that pass by you every day. People that appear and seem "normal" to you.

if you accept the idea that belonging to certain marginalized groups can have some traumatizing elements to it, "most people are traumatized in some way" is just the most blandly obvious statement ever.

but even if you're for some reason squicky about "watering down" the definition of trauma (lol), we can at least agree that most people are hurt, right? Deeply hurt. Most people have been mangled by their experiences in one way or another. People's behavior is guided by the fact that they are hurt.

One of my dad's sayings, which is earnest and not at all shameful or demeaning, is that People Are Broken. And in church settings (because he was a pastor and is still very devout) his measure of the quality of that church setting was always their ability to come to terms with the fact that People Are Broken, not just people Out There or hypothetical people but us, the people around us, the people we live alongside and befriend and love. And if a church thought of Broken People as an external category of people to be "reached," instead of a near-universal experience of being human in a cruel society, well that church was likely to be, ultimately, toxic. And hardly any church passes that test, because our brokenness is hard to talk about.

We can't admit that most people are traumatized because it means that the call is coming from inside the house, that the menace is contained within our society instead of being a freak accident/act of god/attack by a lone wolf outside of the normal confines of our world.

But this is the truth. That our world, the nice, "normal" world, the everyday world, hurts people. We are not gentle enough for other humans, our society is not kind enough for humans to thrive.

We have to try to be less cruel. We have to understand that almost everyone has endured something unspeakable and has not fully healed. This is why I don't care about watering down the definition of trauma. We have not even begun to fully define the wound. There is no virtue in conserving recognition for the most obvious and extreme human pain. Why would we need less compassion?

[vikkirosko]

The last story was amazing, hope you can get this one in before the holdidays, and have a nice vacation. And just a great next few months on top of that! But I was wondering ( sorry this may be long ) if you could do a headcanon of alastor, lucifer, Angel Dust, lucifer, fizz + Ozzie, and Rosie? ( sorry if that's to many characters there all just great characters ) x a reader who has CIP ( the inablility ) to feel pain? Thank you! Also how have you been?

I'm all good. I haven't had much free time lately, so I'm a little behind schedule on writing requests, but I still don't lose hope that I'll be able to finish everything before the end of the year. And how are you doing?

Headcanons CIP

🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖

You and Angel have known each other for a long time. You knew that he often got into various scuffles and always reminded him to be careful. One of the times you knew for sure that he was going to get into trouble, you went with him. You were right and helped him cope and not get hurt, but there was something that caused him concern. You were hit by several bullets, but you didn't seem to pay any attention to it at all

Only when you noticed the blood on your clothes did you say with irritation that you had ruined your favorite sweater. Angel jumped up to you, worried about your wounds, but you didn't seem to feel the pain, which you soon informed him about. That's why Angel took you back to the hotel, where he treated your wounds. You told him that you had a CIP. You haven't felt pain since you were born, even when you were human, and even in Hell, the absence of pain has remained with you

Angel was surprised that for so long he didn't know that you don't feel pain at all. You had to pay attention to little things so as not to harm yourself, for example, be careful about hot dishes, because you might not notice how hot the soup could be or how hot the cup of coffee was. Angel listened attentively to you, surprised that he didn't notice it

Angel has become more attentive towards you. He didn't constantly take care of you, but sometimes he reminded you that the food or drink was hot, that you held the knife too close to your fingers, or that you were injured. Angel understood that even if you didn't feel pain, it didn't mean that the wounds didn't hurt you, which is why he tried to take care of you at least a little

📻 Alastor x Reader🎙

Alastor found out that you don't feel pain when he noticed that you returned to the hotel with an injured leg. You weren't even limping. You just went to your room like everything was completely normal. He didn't know any other reason for this. He went to your room with a first-aid kit and you did not hide from him either your own wound or the fact that you really did not feel pain

Alastor stayed in your room while you treated the wound on your leg. You told him that even when you were human, you didn't feel pain. You assumed that at least in Hell this would change, but it turned out not to be so. Because of this, you didn't notice the wounds you could get until you noticed the blood on your clothes

The origin of the scars on your skin was now clear. He understood that you probably got these scars in Hell. On your palms, hands, and obviously not only there. You really weren't very worried about your own health, and the lack of pain only made it harder for you to take care of yourself

Alastor understood that in Hell there was much less harm from this for you. Dying in Hell was much more difficult for a sinner than when you were alive, so Alastor didn't worry too much about you. He knew you'd be fine, but he still left a first-aid kit in your room in case you needed it

💀Rosie x Reader 🌹

You were a frequent guest at Rosie's and helped her with some problems at her store. You often stayed at her house for weeks at a time, but Rosie was only too happy to spend time with you. Sometimes you came in with wounds after fights, but Rosie was sure they weren't that serious, so you didn't pay attention to it. However, when you came in seriously injured but behaved as if everything was fine, she became worried

Rosie insistently asked you to sit down and brought a first aid kit. She was in no hurry to ask questions or jump to conclusions, primarily focusing on your wounds. You didn't make a sound when she was treating your wounds, which gave Rosie certain thoughts

You honestly told her that you didn't feel pain at all. Even before your death, you had CIP and you learned to live with it, but in Hell you became more relaxed and took much less care of your own health, which led to your injury. Rosie listened to you carefully, then gently stroked your hair and asked you to be careful

Rosie didn't want you to try. She knew that you tried to be more attentive to yourself and tried to avoid new wounds. You didn't want to upset Rosie and make her worry, which is why you tried not to put yourself in danger, not even realizing that Rosie was ready to show those who would harm you why she was overlord

🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍

Lucifer knew perfectly well that you didn't feel pain. You've known each other for a long time and he often saw you after fights. You didn't pay attention to the wounds, just talked irritably about stained or torn clothes. You both knew that the lack of feeling pain had its own characteristics, so you made sure that the wounds were treated, and Lucifer made sure that no one dared to hurt you

Lucifer was much stronger than you, and when you were together, no one dared even try to look at you askance, but sometimes you got involved in fights, especially when it was the end of the year. You didn't want to hide, even though you knew you could have died. Every time Lucifer found out that you were fighting again, he watched, taking his time to intervene. It was only when he saw that you were seriously injured that he intervened

Lucifer sometimes offered to pick up personal guards for you, but you kept telling him that it wasn't necessary. Just because you didn't feel pain didn't mean you were reckless. You tried not to put yourself in excessive danger, realizing that even in Hell you could die

You didn't know how long you would be in Hell and whether it was possible to leave Hell at all, but while you were there you weren't going to let yourself die again, especially because you didn't notice any wound and Lucifer didn't mind helping you with it

🎪 Fizzarolli x Reader x Asmodeus 💕

In your relationship, Asmodeus has always tried to take care of Fizzarolli and you. He had sincere feelings for both of you, and you responded in kind, but if Fizzarolli really tried to be careful, then you got into trouble more often. They both saw the wounds healing on you, but you always said it was just a small accident and they had nothing to worry about. This went on until you returned with bloodstains on your clothes and serious wounds that you didn't pay attention to

They immediately rushed to you, both very worried. You convinced them that you were fine, but this time it was obviously not the case. Asmodeus treated your wounds, after which he seriously asked who did it. To his question, you smiled gently and said that they were much worse off than you, so you shouldn't have worried about it. However, there was something that did not escape their eyes. It's like you didn't feel the touch of your wounds

When Fizzarolli asked you if you were in pain, you were confused and said that you didn't feel any pain at all. You've had CIP and you've never felt pain in your entire life. There used to be problems because of this, but now you have learned to avoid serious problems, at least you tried

Asmodeus and Fizzarolli weren't going to leave you alone until your wounds were completely healed. They both surrounded you with care, worrying about you, to which you laughed softly and hugged them. Even in Hell, you were able to find those who gave you the warmth that warmed your heart and soul

[1800jjbarnes]

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐈𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

【Synopsis】 : You suggest something new, and the boys love the idea.

『Word count』 : 2.1k 

Paring: Steve x Bucky x Reader [Poly Au] 

[Warnings] : Making out. Hickeys. Big dick energy. Light-hearted sex. Poly relationship. Swearing. Pet names. Praise from Bucky. Steve is a moaning mess. Multiple orgasms. Protected anal sex. Unprotected sex (Steve didn't wrap it).

Masterlist | Navigation

"Please, please. Please." You sounded like a broken record. One that had been broken by none other than the infamous lone wolf Bucky and his best friend, Steve. You were the good girl around the compoud. You weren't the best agent by all means, but you weren't an unskilled either. You had friends in and out of the heroing and crime fighting. You try to live a normal life.... well, that was until Bucky, the deep-voiced man that recently joined the Avengers, started to take interest in you.

Everyone wanted him and his best friends. They were the walking sex on legs. But none of them were interested in relationships or flings or even hookups. Especially with the women and some men shield agnets that only started working for the avengers because they wanted to get closer to them. People would lie, saying they'd been with them, but in truth, Bucky and Steve were untouchable, and that made them even more desirable. Heck, Bucky didn't even like human interaction with anyone other than their friend group. But yet when Bucky saw you, he knew he wanted you. And so did Steve.

It became a game of cat and mouse. But in this case, it was two very, very large cats cornering one scared little mouse. You wanted it, though. As much as you fought it at first. You wanted the pleasure you knew they would provide. But part of you wanted to keep your dignity, not wanted to be plastered as a whore in the compound. But Bucky and Steve reassured you that no one would come to know your dirty secret. And yet, no one would even believe it anyway if it were to get out.

So here you stand, with two large bodies holding you close in between them. Steve's fingers were paced fast as you high came, ripping closer and closer. Bucky's tongue lapped the bright purple marks on your soft skin, the ones he created so he could show others you were taken without anyone knowing who exactly gave them to you. They were both possessive over you. Learning more and more things about you and your body every time they had you in these situations.

"Steve , I.." You gripped his biceps, nails digging into his flesh as you could feel your orgasm approaching. Steve just chuckled, going faster while Bucky snaked his hand from behind you to place a finger on your clit, circling it quickly in time with Steve's thrusts.

"Fuck fuck fuck.." you swore, knees buckling, you fall into Bucky's arms, making him keep you up while they continue. Your orgasm comes quickly, Steve letting out a chuckle at his work. You were so fucked out already and they hadn't even started yet. Bucky swopped you up, laying you on his bed while Steve takes this time to undress, finally making you not the only one naked in the room. Bucky kisses your forehead whispering how good you were, making your heart jump at his words.

“Bucky.” You shakily place a hand on his cheek, bringing him close so you could kiss him on the lips passionately. Buck’s hands snaked down your body, gripping your breast, giving them a squeeze. You moan into his mouth, making him smile. The noises you made were always music to his ears.

“So Me or Buckaroo first, baby? Since we chose last time.” Steve rubbed your ankles as he stood by the end of the bed. You sat up, looking at your lover. A hard gulp ran down your throat as you tried to prepare yourself to answer him. You recently found you wanted to try a new thing but became unsure how to ask. No better time than the present, right?

“I…I want both of you..” You glance over to Bucky, “At the same time.” Steve and Bucky could feel their dicks twitch at the idea. don’t get them wrong, they both fantasised about taking you at the same time but they didn’t want to scare you away with the act. But hearing the thought roll off your tongue, god it made them go feral. Bucky jumped up, ripping his shirt off while he jogged over to his dresser.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” Steve shouted with a huge smile like a teenager. You tilted your head in confusion as you watched Bucky strip down while he held his fist out.

“Deal.” Bucky smirks, throwing the lube on the bed next to you before also placing his fist out. They swung, Steve getting scissors, and Bucky getting rock.

“Fuck!” Steve swears with a whimpering tone. Bucky laughs smugly, walking over to you with pride. He lets his hand out for you to take, so he can pull you up off the bed so you could stand on your wobbly legs. Did they really just play rock, paper, scissors for who fucks you in which hol-

“Oh god….” Your cheeks run a blush in a similar shade to the evening sky. Bucky twirls you, so you face Steve, and he could stand behind you. He kisses your neck from behind, rubbing your ass slightly before letting his hand land a smack on your soft skin.

“Next time, Stevie. But right now, this ass is mine.” Bucky chuckles to himself.

He lathers himself up with lube and then coats his fingers again. With one finger, he begins prodding at your ass before slipping it in slowly. It’s a foreign feeling, and it has you squirming under his touch. He murmurs something in your ear you can’t quite make out, but it’s all a blur anyways when he begins sucking at your neck. He adds another finger, and he has to hold you in place. It’s almost painful, but the lube is a blessing.

Steve is suddenly in your sight, grabbing your chin to look at him. “Keep your eyes on me, I wanna see your face.”

Steve cups your core, chuckling slightly at how wet you still were... He’s able to slip two fingers in easily, and the noise that comes from your lips is something that you wouldn’t imagine. They go at two different paces, and you can’t think. You forget that you’re meant to be looking at Steve, and you focus on him again. Bucky has to hold you up as your knees keep wanting to give way. You have never felt this much before in your life.

“I...I feel weird..” The tingle in your gut was growing differently than any other orgasms you’ve ever experienced before. You lent more into Bucky's body, while Steve got down on his knees so he could be face to face with your dripping pussy. His tongue licks a long strip, making you gasp out, gripping his short hair. His fingers got faster while Bucky stayed at the same pace, making your brain shortcircuit. Before you could tell what was going on, you were cumming all over Steve’s face.

“Fuck, our baby just squirted,” Steve said in amusement while Bucky chuckled against your ear, making you blush even more than you were prior. They both pulled out making you whine. You left dizzy, unable to register what was happening. All you could do was watch Steve disappear for a second before reappearing with a towel, wiping his face clean with a smug smile plastered to it. You could hear the sound of a wrapper being opened behind you. You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Bucky rolling a condom on his thick length. He had a sweet smile, but you knew this man had a dark side. He was going to enjoy ruining you.

“Okay, Stevie, lay back and let our baby ride you.” Steve does what Bucky asks, laying down on the bed so you can straddle his hips. You guide his cock to your entrance and sink down on him, watching his face contort as you squeeze his length. He fills you perfectly, hitting spots inside you that make you see stars. Fuck, you swear every time you feel his cock it gets bigger. From behind, you suddenly feel Bucky’s fingers, slick from the lube, slide against your ass like he had done before. You shiver at the feeling but welcome it, angling your hips so he has better access.

“You feel so perfect squeezing me,” Steve moans from below you, hands reaching out to grope your breasts in order to distract you from the discomfort you might feel soon enough.

“Isn’t she tight, Stevie. Always so good for us ?” Bucky grins, pressing a finger into your ass. You hold your breath at the feeling, but Steve just whispers calming words to you. You relax into them as Buck slowly moves his finger. One finger becomes two, and you ride Steve a bit harder as you warm up to the feeling. He grips your hips and guides you on his large cock, working the pleasure from you.

“Please, James, please,” you beg, leaning back up against his chest. He kisses your neck and smiles at your neediness.

“You ready for me, Doll?” he teases, thrusting his fingers at a quicker pace.

“Fuck yes, Bucky, I need you so bad.” Bucky pulls you into a bruising kiss as he removes his fingers and replaces them with the tip of his cock.

“You’re doing so good for us, baby. Now be a good girl and take a deep breath.” Bucky keeps kissing you as he presses his cock further and further inside of you. Steve helps you relax, but you can tell it’s difficult for him, too. His strokes are getting messy as you get tighter around him. His release came quicker than he expected. Only a thin wall now separates Bucky and Steve’s cocks, and that just turns them on even more. It turns you on even more.

They pump into you simultaneously, finding the perfect rhythm that makes your heart stutter. You’re at mercy to them, putty in their hands while their thrusts become different pacing, making it near hard to breathe.  All you can do is moan and beg, your brain becoming jelly the harder they fuck you. With their stamina, they last so much longer than other men. I guess the serm could be a blessing in some situations. They bring you to orgasm after orgasm, pleasing you seems to be their only goal.

“I’m gonna come,” Steve whimpers from below you, fingers digging into your hips with bruising force. “Please, I’m gonna come.” Bucky leans over to bite your shoulder, pumping into your ass with deeper strokes than ever.

“You gonna cum Doll? You want Stevie to cum inside you?” Bucky’s fingers wrap around your neck, giving it a tight squeeze.

“Oh my god, Stevie, please give it to me. Please come inside me,” you moan through your strong high, gripping onto Bucks’s metal arm. Steve comes on a long, drawn-out moan, sending Bucky over the edge right after. He thrusts into you a few more times before he becomes too sensitive, and then they’re both pulling out.

The three of you fall into a heap on the bed, panting and sweating for a moment. Bucky kisses you deeply before shifting to give Stevw the same treatment. Buck gets up to grab a washcloth while Steve holds you tightly, pampering your face with sweet kisses. They take care of you sweetly. Ensuring not to irritate your sensitive skin, Bucky cleans you up, and together, you and Steve care for Bucky. Once you are all done, you flop on the bed with Bucky on his back and you half on top of him. Steve cuddles up next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist while nuzzling his face into your shoulder. it was silent for a moment. The only things that could be heard were your bumping hearts and breathing that finally began to slow down. It was peaceful until Steve opened his big, smug mouth.

“Ready for round two?”

You have never wanted to slap him so much as right now.

[cozage]

Hi hope you are having a good day

I wanted to know what would it be like if, Mihawk, Shanks and Buggy had a female s/o that was basically like inosuke from demon slayer, they are a bit dumb but will pick a fight with everyone, and they only wear a bandaged top with like shorts or smt.

You guys have been asking me lots of questions and making me feel loved so here is this!!! (And maybe more spicy things to come later this week 👀)

Characters: female reader x Mihawk, Shanks, Buggy Wordcount: 850 CW: the last bullet point in all of them that are a little spicy

She’s Kinda Stupid, but…

Mihawk

This man is literally so tired. He’s so tired. 

Will very often say things like “I didn’t know I was in charge of three children.” (yes Perona and Zoro are his CHILDREN okay) or “Are you acting your age today, or are we pretending you’re six years old again?” or “I’ve met dogs more behaved than you.” (it’s all coming from a place of love and he knows you won't take offense because you don’t take offense to anything)

You’re a brat and he knows it (and loves it). He loves you but god you are so much work when the two of you are out in public. He feels like he can’t take his eyes off you or you’ll end up in a fight with some random guy because he looked at you funny. 

Most of the time he doesn’t acknowledge your shenanigans. When you fight with someone, he’ll grab your wrist and physically pull you away from them, usually with some kind of snide remark. 

Sometimes you’re justified, though. And when that happens, he gives the guy who wronged you five seconds to apologize before he sets you loose. Most of the time the guy sees Mihawk and apologizes, but the swordsman secretly hopes the guy won't apologize. And on the few occasions they don't apologize, he smirks as he releases you. 

He always has to pull you off the guy because you just don't know when to stop. In all truthfulness, it kind of gets him hot and bothered, but he always pretends to be irritated. “You’re psychotic. Do I need to teach you how to behave?” he scolds, his gold eyes scanning your body. “I can think of a few ways to get you to listen.”

Shanks

Shanks adores you. Cheers you on. Loves watching you cause absolute chaos. Why? Because you are him without a conscience. 

Shanks knows when he needs to flip the switch from polite to fight, but you don’t. You are always at 100%, your most authentic self 24/7. And he absolutely adores that about you. Even if that means that sometimes you take it a bit too far. 

Sometimes Shanks will even use your emotions to his advantage. “Can you believe that guy just did that?!” or “Talk about rude!” knowing full well you’re ready to throw down whoever wronged you or him. 

The absolute only time that Shanks will stop you from fighting someone is when you all are in a building. He’s had to pay SO MANY owners back for you destroying glassware and furniture and plenty of other damaged goods. You learned pretty quickly that the first words out of your mouth should be “Wanna take this outside?!” because if you were outside then Shanks didn’t stop you. 

The first few fights, he watched carefully, making sure he would be able to jump in if he needed to. The next couple of fights, he watched you with an amused look, excited to see how you were going to beat up the guy (and just to make sure you would win). Nowadays, he doesn’t even feel the need to go outside with you, but sometimes he does just to cheer you on. 

After your victory, he always rewards you with a bunch of kisses and sings your praises. He pulls you onto his lap at the bar, making sure everyone knows you're his. “You did so well. I loved how you stomped that guy into the dirt,” he’ll coo, dotting kissing across your neck. “How about later I show you just how proud I am of you, okay?”

Buggy

You never cease in stressing this man out. He is always on high alert now because of you. 

Stealth missions? Forget it. Normal day in town? Absolutely not. He BEGS you to be a normal human being in public. To have an ounce of self preservation. But you cannot comprehend that. People who talk shit deserve to get hit.

He is constantly running after you, screaming at you to stop fighting people for no reason. Sometimes he’ll even jump in front of your punches to try and de-escalate it (which of course doesn’t work and results in you just punching him in the face). You don’t even feel bad, you just scream at him to get out of the way and beat up the other guy even more since he made you hurt your boyfriend.

If anyone makes fun of him, he doesn’t even have a chance to scream at them anymore. You’re already pounding their face into the ground. And every time you do, he falls in love with you a little bit more. 

“That’s right, that’s my baby!” he screams, watching you smugly walk away from some guy’s beaten body. “Let’s go celebrate, you can do whatever you want.” He grabs your hand, practically pulling you back to the ship.

[mykneeshurt]

How would 141 boys react if the reader (female) has a tendency to be unintentionally lewd and radiates submissive energy. Example: looking up at them with frowned brows, doe eyes and teeth biting onto their lips as they listen to them. Always responding with “yes sir, yes lieutenant, yes please, please ghost” even for the minor inconvenience. Moaning/groaning when they are pissed or tired. Always slipping out something inappropriate like “Lt can you pull my hair?” “Si, can you tie my hair in a ponytail (while the reader is knelt down)” “cap zip my pants please it’s stuck” until one day they finally break and have their ways with the reader, teaching her a lesson for being a tease (sorry the prompt is a bit long)

Lmao I am this person, I don’t mean to be hahaha. F!reader

Price 🥃

It started with a simple moan, you stretched in your seat after a pretty long and intense meeting. You arched your back over the top of your seat and let slip a satisfied moan. No one else caught it but Price did.

It happened again after a sparring session, you massaged your thigh as a string of moans fell past your lips. He tried not to listen, tried to focus on the fight in front of him. ‘So tight’ you muttered to yourself, completely oblivious to the effect you were having on your Captain.

The third time you were summoned to his office and as you walked in your hit your elbow on the door. Rather than swearing or saying ow like a normal person you again, moaned.

He’d had enough. Price threw his pen down and stormed over to the door locking it. Pinning you against the wall he cupped your jaw ‘gonna make you moan for real love.’

Soap 🧼

You and Soap were close but there was underlying tension, ever since you first met. You danced along it never crossing the line.

You were a tactile person. Very touchy feely, you loved human contact. You loved giving hugs in the nicest most innocent way possible, but Soap found it incredibly difficult to keep his thought pure.

Your breasts pushed into him, accentuating your cleavage every damn time. You’d look up at him with innocence written all over your face. When ever he’d hug you back a content sigh would always fill the gap between you.

A hand on a shoulder there, a pat on a thigh there, innocent little touches but coming from you? They felt like fire to him. He knew you were being nice, this is who you were but the way your touch lingered, killed him every time.

It came to a head after a pretty tough mission, everyone was emotionally drained. Hugs always made you feel better, so naturally you hugged Soap. As he tightened his grip you did that damned sigh, pulling back he stared into your eyes before placing the most tender and loving kiss on your lips. He finally got a different type of hug later that night, one he’d been dreaming of for so long.

Ghost 💀

Ghost had always watched you from a distance, regarding you. You reeked of submissive energy to him, always eager to please. Always so polite. ‘Yes sir.’ ‘Yes Lieutenant.’ Your voice always so sultry and pleading. He had to keep to his distance, you were destroying him.

Which is why he was dreading having to ask you if you could fix his tac pants. You were good at sewing so the 141 lads would often ask you to fix their clothes. You obliged because why wouldn’t you.

You’d forced him to try on the trousers that needed fixing so you could assess the damage. As you knelt down you tied your hair into a ponytail and looked up at him. Huge innocent doe eyes a warm smile plastered over your face.

You poked and pulled at the fabric to see if it could be fixed, completely unaware of Ghosts growing erection. He tried desperately to think of something else, but seeing you on your knees in front of him? He couldn’t take it.

He lifted your jaw with two fingers, and wiped his thumb over your bottom lip. That’s when you bit it. Game over. His trousers were soon down to his ankles stuffing your throat with his cock.

Gaz 🇬🇧

It had been a freezing day whilst doing the drills set out by the captain. So cold in fact your couldn’t move your fingers. ‘Gaaaaaaz’ you drawled innocently ‘can you undo my pants please? I can’t move my fingers.’ He hated how sweetly you said his name. He’d move mountains for you if you asked.

He pulled you in close to him as he tugged at your trousers. He could feel his heart pounding, once he’d finished you gave him a quick peck on his cheek. Meaning nothing by it, but it’s all he thought about.

After another long training day you were all sat in the rec room, you leant against Gaz and asked for a head massage. Sitting in between his legs he pulled out your pony tail causing you to drop your head back into his lap and moan at the release of pressure. Instantly he felt himself become hard.

It only got worse from there. As his massaged your head small moans and gasps came from your mouth. At this point it was late and it was only you two in the room. He couldn’t take anymore. Placing his hand along your neck you offered him a devilish smile.

The rest is history, you spend all night with his cock buried in you as he drank your moans like a sweet nectar.

[purple-babygirl]

in the far corner of the forest IV

Pairing: Orc!Bucky Barnes x human!f!reader

Word Count: 6,540

Summary: For the longest time, the kingdom has used Bucky as their number one fighter, forcing him to win their wars for them. The only thing he asked for in return after he was done was that they give him a wife, and they did. They handed him the orphan he picked on a silver platter; it wasn't like anyone would miss her. It would've been perfect if she actually wanted to be there though.

Warnings: mentions of hand injury, idiots in love, feels, jealousy, racism against orcs, angry behaviour, shouting, fight gets slightly physical, bruised arm, crying, angst (i'm sorry). I think that's all.

A/N: good news result in long chapters. thank you from the bottom of my heart for everyone who has wished me good luck with my interview, you guys are angels. please enjoyxx💜💜

~

“You’re in love.”

“I’m what now!?” Bucky chuckled dismissively as he dropped his axe.

Bucky had spent half a day at home, refraining from going to work because of his hand’s condition, but as much as he loved staying home with her, he knew he wasn’t made to take a break.

So he thought he would visit, talk to Sam for a bit and maybe get some pent up ‘feelings’ out on some tree logs. His metal arm was still working just fine after all.

“I said, you’re in love with your human wife,” Sam repeated, smiling so warmly that Bucky wanted to smack him.

“I got her a few weeks ago.” Bucky shook his head in denial of the mere idea of him falling for anyone, let alone a human.

He did love Sam and Sarah, but that was it. They were the only humans he could tolerate. He hated the rest of them. Hell, he hated the human half of himself.

Bucky was just trying to make life easier for himself, that was all. He has been through enough conflicts and he didn’t need this in his marriage too. He deserved to live a normal life like everybody else.

Yes, he was courting her, and maybe he did constantly crave the feel of her body against his ever since she let him hug her the night of the injury, and he was definitely getting hopeful now that she hadn’t tried to run for a whole half day, but that didn’t mean he was in love! Did it?

“And now you’re in love with her.” Sam smirked, knowing how much it drove Bucky crazy that a female human had him on his knees for her love.

“Quit saying that!” Bucky stood up, ready to walk away from his annoying friend.

“Why does it make you so angry that you’re in lo—”

“Don’t,” Bucky warned him, eyes angry and glaring.

“—ve?”

“I am not in love with her, okay! She’s human! Plus, that girl drives me crazy! Do you know how many times I had to bring her back after she’d tried to run in the first two weeks? Five fucking times! That’s almost once every two days, Sam. And she only had one foot working!” Bucky ranted heatedly, desperate to negate his best friend’s theory.

Was he in love with her? And if Sam could see it, did that mean she could too?

“Well, why do you care to bring her back? Why not just let her run?” Sam shrugged, internally dying for Bucky to acknowledge his feelings.

“She could die out there! Humans are weak.”

“So?” Sam probed, intentionally ignoring Bucky’s remark about humans’ strength.

“So— so I signed all those things when she was offered to me. She can’t— I can’t—”

“You can’t?”

“I can’t let her get hurt,” Bucky admitted lowly, sitting down on a log with a loud sigh.

“Why does that make you so upset?” Sam dug deeper.

“Because I think you’re right. I think I might be in love with her.” Bucky rubbed his eye with his good hand, pushing his hair back angrily.

“And?”

“And she thinks I’m the devil.” Bucky’s face fell to his palms.

“Did she ever say that to you out loud?” Sam asked, touching the end of his sharpened blade.

“She doesn’t need to, Sam. I see it in her eyes every time I find her after she’d tried to run away.” Bucky’s voice was broken like his friend has never heard before.

“I thought you said everything was better after your injury?”

“Yeah, but that’s not gonna last forever.” Bucky gave a sad grin, “she’s soon gonna go back to seeing me the same as before.”

“Well, it’s up to you to change her mind, Buck.” Sam patted his friend’s shoulder, giving a squeeze.

Bucky sighed once more before getting up.

Sam was a human. A very handsome one with much less scars and non-icy skin. He would never understand. It would never work. She hated him.

He could continue trying, but it wouldn’t change anything of the way she felt about him and their marriage. She had told him time and time again how she felt about both.

“Going home already?”

“Yeah, I can’t miss the running away bit. It’s my favourite,” he sighed, Sam's laugh trailing behind him.

“Smile at her for a change.”

“Shut up.” I do smile at her. I only ever smile at her.

“Sarah loved the jam by the way!” Sam yelled.

“I’ll let her know!” Bucky yelled back before exhaling sadly.

Sam would never understand. Her taking pity on him those past couple of hours was nothing more than sympathy and likely even guilt.

Sam would never understand that of all the eyes in the world, it seems like Bucky has managed to fall for the only ones that knew how to hurt him, the eyes that would only look at him as a disgusting, frightening monster.

~

When Bucky got home, everything was creepily in place. His door was closed like he had left it and he actually had to use his key to open it for the first time in a while.

Stepping inside, the warm smell of roast chicken welcomed him back.

The house was warm because all the windows were actually shut, too. It was all so calm and homely; the orc was seriously worried.

And then he heard it: his human wife’s sweet voice, humming the melody of a song unfamiliar to him. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.

Bucky carefully shut the door behind him, not wanting her peaceful mood to end so soon as he tried to take lighter steps to where she was.

Much to his dismay though, she needed something from the other side of the kitchen and when she turned around she saw Bucky and gasped, jumping embarrassingly high.

“You scared me!” She whined, holding a hand to her heart.

“Sorry.” Bucky smirked, entertained by how cute she looked when startled.

“Welcome home,” she mumbled with a bit-back grin, holding onto his forearms before getting on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.

She never told him, but she was unbelievably thankful when he didn’t specify which type of kiss he expected weeks ago, and even more thankful when he didn’t object to her pecking his cheek before burying herself under the covers.

Life with Bucky has gotten undeniably familiar lately and leaving him was all of a sudden an idea that didn’t interest her as much as before.

Everything he was saying and doing has brought her closer to him without her even comprehending it.

As the days passed, she had realized running away was too exhausting, too risky, and for what? It wasn’t like she had a home to run to or a treasure buried somewhere or a lover worth escaping her orc for.

Her orc.

Hers.

A word she never felt the meaning of until the day Bucky made her his wife.

Bucky was the first and only one to present to her a taste of something she has never had: the feeling of exclusively owning things.

The smile that graced her face when she brushed her hair the first time with the brush Bucky got her was new and unprecedented.

Her brush, he called it.

Her shoes. Her chair. Her towel. Her clothes. Her books. Her side of the bed. Her cottage. Her kitchen.

And her husband.

Everything was brand new and completely hers.

Nothing was handed down to her, nothing was used before the minute her fingers had touched it. None of the things Bucky gifted her had previous owners, including him and his heart.

Most importantly, she didn’t have to share any of it with anybody.

“You’re home,” Bucky said, a surprised yet very happy smile lighting up his handsome features.

“I thought the wife was supposed to say that,” she replied playfully, going back to the bubbling pot.

Bucky raised his eyebrows at the good mood she seemed to be in. He was liking this.

He watched her sprinkle some black pepper into the soup as he came behind her.

She could feel the heat of his body surrounding her even when they weren’t touching and it had her heartbeat going crazy.

“Thank you, little human,” Bucky whispered, before he leaned down and pecked her cheek as well, his stubble and blunt tusks tickling her jaw.

She felt her whole body jolt with electricity at the simple graze of his lips and tusks on her skin as she closed her eyes.

Bucky left the kitchen and went to the bathroom but she was still hot as if his warmth never left her.

And when she opened her eyes and absentmindedly reached her fingertips to touch her cheek, she found herself smiling too.

What was happening to her? What was this foreign feeling lifting her off of her feet in the middle of the kitchen?

“Sam’s sister loved your strawberry jam by the way!” Bucky shouted to her from the bathroom, making her jump again before smiling to herself.

He didn’t use Sarah’s name on purpose, not wanting to ruin her happy mood as he had noticed how angry she got every time he would say it.

“I’ll make her more tomorrow!” She replied with a grin, proud of her hand’s work, her jealousy long forgotten after Bucky’s words of the night before.

After all, how could she be jealous when she was the one that Bucky was looking at like that?

~

When she finished setting up the table and Bucky didn’t come out of the bathroom, she got a little worried.

He never took too long during his showers, and now that he only had one arm to use, she thought he would cut his showers even shorter.

What if his wound was bleeding again and he didn’t want to tell her and was trying to fix it by himself inside the bathroom? She knew she should have stopped him from going to the yard!

“Bucky.” She knocked on the door softly, wanting to make sure he was okay.

“Yes, little human?” Bucky instantly opened the door for her.

And he looked like a dream.

Steam has surrounded him inside the bathroom, water drops from his still-wet hair dripping down his muscular, bare chest and for the first time since Bucky has been naked around her, she found herself looking at him. Actually looking.

Bucky’s chest was so broad, beefy and ribbed down to his abdomen. Scars of all sizes and shapes littered the beautiful, icy greyish skin, a reminder of the battles he had fought and all the sacrifices he had made.

Her heart clenched at the sight, a pang of sympathy coursing through her as she could only imagine the pain he must have had to endure.

Still, she found her hands tingling in curiosity, desperate to know what tracing the healed skin would feel like under her fingertips.

Bucky was a sight for sore eyes, a sight that both captivated and unnerved her, stirring a flurry of unfamiliar emotions in her chest that she struggled to contain.

She averted her gaze, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over her at the unexpected intimacy of the moment.

“Are—” she chocked, her voice barely above a whisper as she coughed it out, “are you okay? You took a while.”

“Yeah, I’m just having a hard time drying up my hair with one arm,” Bucky reassured her, chuckling lightly at his dilemma as he let the towel around his neck drop.

He was completely oblivious to the way he just made her face burn up as her thoughts spiraled out of control.

“Come.” She took Bucky’s hand in hers, careful not to squeeze his palm, and led him outside to their bed.

It took Bucky a second to move his feet, but when he did, he felt like he was being carried on top of a cloud.

She felt herself drawn to him in a way she couldn’t quite explain, her heart pounding with a mixture of nervousness, curiosity and… desire. A new sensation was tingling all over her body, specifically in places she didn’t need to be tingling right now.

Positioning herself between his parted legs, she reached to take the towel from around Bucky’s neck.

His eyes watched her, surprise flickering in them as he realized what she was going to do, unable to believe what was happening.

Sensing her nervousness, Bucky offered her a reassuring, grateful smile, silently encouraging her to continue.

And as she began to carefully pat his damp hair dry, her touch tentative and her eyes focused, he felt warmth welling up inside him.

She couldn’t help but steal glances at his bare shoulder and chest, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the engrossing sight. It was a feeling unlike anything she has ever experienced before, her heart racing with unparalleled excitement.

The awkwardness of the situation began to fade bit by bit as she focused more on the task at hand, in its place growing an overwhelming sense of closeness and familiarity.

Bucky’s hair was so soft under her fingertips as she took the towel up and down the brown locks. She wished she had given herself a chance to touch it more before.

As she finished drying her orc’s hair, she met his gaze with a shy bite of her lip, her eyes sparkling with newfound confidence.

Bucky reached out to take her hands, his smile appreciative as his lips pressed a deep kiss on each palm, silently thanking her for her kindness and care.

~

“I didn’t know your cooking was so good. You surprise me every day,” Bucky praised, as she filled his mouth with more lentil soup, trying not to think of his conversation with Sam or the way his body was still on fire from the mere act of her drying his hair for him.

He couldn’t even believe she was feeding him after seeing him struggle to keep the food on his spoon using his left hand.

“All the girls at the orphanage know how to cook. They teach us all sorts of things and make us to be good housewives,” she replied, suddenly nostalgic of her days at the orphanage, curious to know how, where and when Bucky got the chance to see her back then.

Bucky didn’t say anything, busying his mouth with chewing some bread as his smile shrank.

She didn’t look happy. Why did she stay then? Was she planning on running away at night that day? Maybe she put something in the food?

“I’m glad you like your dinner though,” she said, breaking the thick silence with a soft smile as she fed the orc a piece of chicken.

“Why didn’t you try to leave today?” Bucky couldn’t hold back.

She was taken aback by his question. She thought he wanted her here.

Was he finally done? Did he want her out? Was he not going to look for her this time? Has Bucky given up on her? Was he going to leave her be had she gotten out today?

Most importantly, she didn’t know how to answer because it seemed like she was done running away from her new life with him, and she didn’t know if she could admit that.

“I– did you want me to?” She asked, her voice strained as she tried to hold in the tears.

“No! No, of course not!” He assured her quickly.

“Then?” She chewed on her lip.

“I don’t want you to stop running if it makes you feel alive,” Bucky told her, his blue eyes gushing with love he didn’t intend to show, “I’m willing to go to the ends of the earth to find you.”

“What?” She wasn’t expecting this at all, all the tingles she had hardly managed to shake off after drying Bucky’s wet hair coming back to attack her.

How were these words coming out of an orc! And why did they make her heart stutter in its beats?

“I love your fiery spirit and I’m afraid I’m killing it by keeping you here against your wishes. I never want to be the one to snuff your fire out.” Bucky admitted, eyes sincere as he watched her.

She just stared at him for a moment, stunned as her heart skipped yet another beat.

If he only knew that he was the one who had managed to bring this fiery personality to life.

Bucky respected her silence and went back to enjoying his dinner, not wanting to push her for a reply. She could take her time.

She kept staring at him in confusion for another minute before taking her almost untouched plate and getting up.

She almost ran to the kitchen with her hand on her heart.

What was going on with her? Her heart wasn’t seriously beating this loud for the orc. Could it be?

He sounded so selfless and spoke so gently like he has never before and she was overwhelmed.

His words were doing things to her that she has never felt before. What was wrong with her?

She knew she had caught herself staring at him without a shirt just minutes ago, maybe admiring his eyelashes as he slept in some early mornings, but she rendered it curiosity and nothing more.

She shook her head, her thoughts startling to her as she emptied her plate in the garbage and started washing it vigorously.

Bucky no longer had an appetite, sighing at her reaction.

He told himself he could understand, but it was still hurtful the way she jumped out of her chair.

He left his plate on the table, not wanting to invade her privacy by going to the kitchen before leaving the cottage altogether.

He probably shouldn’t have said anything.

~

She revisited the subject the same afternoon though, not wanting there to be any misunderstandings between her and Bucky. Not any longer.

“I don’t wanna leave anymore,” she admitted timidly, making Bucky’s smile betray him and his usual frowning.

“But I don’t like being locked away in here all day either,” she said carefully, scared to upset him.

“Where do you wanna go? The forest is dangerous, little human.” Bucky was back to frowning at the thought of anything bad happening to her again.

It was torture for him when her foot was still healing and he was the most relieved when it finally did. He couldn’t just let her roam around when she didn’t know the area.

“Take me out when you come back from work maybe? Or even on your day off,” she suggested, desperate to see the world.

“And go where?”

“Anywhere. We can walk around the woods before it gets dark, you could show me your shop, I could meet Sam? Or we could even go to the market!” She suggested eagerly.

She has been locked up for so long and she didn’t want to continue her life like this.

Bucky actually thought about it and he didn’t hate the idea. Taking her out with him would ensure her safety. He would be by her side and he would protect her. He also liked the thought of taking her out and properly courting her even if she didn’t know that that was what he was doing.

He said he didn’t want to kill her spirit by keeping her in here and she gave him the solution.

“Okay.” Bucky nodded at her with a smile.

“Okay?” She exclaimed happily, not believing Bucky would actually take her out to see around.

“Okay.” He nodded again reassuringly, her happiness making him laugh.

“Well, don’t you have tomorrow off?” She asked suggestively, gesturing to his hand.

Bucky laughed, nodding, “put your shoes on.”

“Thank you, Bucky.” She involuntarily gave his healing hand a squeeze, kissing his cheek before running to get her shoes.

Bucky swallowed hard, hoping he would be able to hold himself together and not completely melt under her sweet company.

“You’ve got to promise me though,” he said.

She looked at him questioningly as she slipped one foot into a shoe.

“No running away, little human.”

“No running away. Promise.” She promised, shaking her head with a shy smile.

Bucky smiled big, taking her smaller hand in his as she grabbed her basket in the other, ready to browse the market with her husband.

Her husband. That was starting to sound unquestionably comforting.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

“What?” She tilted her head with a grin.

“You owe me a kiss,” Bucky said, his tone serious.

“No, I don’t! If anything, I just gave you an extra kiss!”

“Yes, you do. From that morning. You’re still one kiss behind!”

“I just made up for it!”

“Doesn’t count. That one covers the night before.” Bucky shrugged, a smile etched on his lips.

“Okay, fine.” She kissed Bucky’s cheek, “stop going around saying other girls’ names though.”

Bucky laughed, “I only know one!”

“Still too many,” she whispered under her breath, but Bucky heard it, smiling from ear to ear as he took his hand in hers, taking the right path out of the woods. ~ It was a beautiful afternoon, full of warm sunshine and fruitful deals. She has got some pretty good stuff for really good prices.

She couldn’t believe Bucky actually gave her pocket money.

He didn’t want her to have to ask him for money every time something caught her eye. He wanted her independent, fulfilled and brave as she bought herself whatever her heart desired.

Her heart was so full and her smile was inerasable.

Bucky didn’t let go of her hand all day and she actually liked it so much that she never complained. The feel of his calloused skin against her soft palm wasn’t like anything she has felt before.

She didn’t want to let go of his hand even while looking at the different stands and booths at the market.

But she eventually liked the flower stand too much and told Bucky she would take a look at them while he continued buying them the fruits he was picking.

“Good afteroon,” a smooth voice interrupted her admiration of the potted plants before her, making her look up for a second.

“Good afternoon.” She smiled coyly.

“Any favorites?” The handsome man inside the booth asked her.

“All of them,” she giggled softly, the sound catching Bucky’s ears at once.

The man laughed back, “okay, I think I have something special for you. How about this one?” He brought her a purple flower from the batch hidden behind him inside the booth.

“Oh, how beautiful! What is this one?” She wondered, amazement sparkling in her eyes at the sight of the pretty petals.

“That is a Globemaster Allium. Pretty, isn’t she?” He asked, staring at her desirously as she looked at the flower.

“Yes, she’s stunning!”

“I’m Cole by the way—”

She heard Bucky clear his throat next to her and looked up at once, the innocent awe in her eyes softening the orc a little.

“Look, Bucky! Isn’t this the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” She pointed to the flower pot excitedly.

Bucky leaned in, his frown scaring her a little, her breath hitching when his lips tickled the shell of her ear, “no, little human, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

She chocked on her own saliva, hiding her hot face with her hand as she coughed, “Bucky!” She whined with a shy smile.

Where did that come from!

“Let’s go,” Bucky said with a nod of his head, eyes stern as he glared at Cole.

“Can—” She held his wrist, “can I have it?” She asked softly, gesturing to the flower pot.

Bucky wanted to say no. He didn’t want her to have this farmer’s flower. But he couldn’t say no to those hopeful, beautiful eyes of hers.

“Fine.” He watched her get the money out of her pocket and she smiled gratefully as she almost set them down on Cole’s counter.

“It’s on the house,” Cole said, still smiling dreamily at her.

She could all but swallow as she gave a polite smile back before looking up at Bucky for help.

“Take your goddamn money.” Bucky made a quick job of paying for the flower, taking the money from her and slamming it on the counter, making the whole booth shake.

He quickly took his wife home, deciding that was enough socialization for the both of them for the day.

She wasn’t going to lie, she was loving jealousy on her orc. It felt so intoxicating to have someone love her so much that he was jealous of other men talking to her.

She wouldn’t tell Bucky, but she would probably spend the nights of the next week smiling at the wall every time she remembered how he held her hand back home just a little bit tighter that day.

Her own heart was running wild at the sight of the orc now and she didn’t want it any other way.

~

“Now you know how it feels,” she teased with a smile as they were getting ready for bed.

Bucky couldn’t let it go, talking about how they were never going to stop by that farmer’s flower booth ever again.

“That’s not the same! I was never into Sarah! But that man was openly ogling you!” Bucky grumbled, his frown digging deep into the skin of his forehead.

“He was just being nice, trying to sell his flowers,” she laughed, upsetting Bucky even more.

How couldn’t she see it? The guy was all over her!

“He was flirting and you were all giggles and blushes.” Bucky copied her, going to the bed and burying himself under the covers, facing the wall.

He understood now why she had done that.

“Hey, that’s my spot!” She joked, not knowing if Bucky was being serious.

“Not tonight,” he murmured from underneath the covers.

“Bucky,” she whined, uncovering her orc’s face.

Bucky didn’t reply, pushing himself closer to the wall.

She tried to bring him on his back by the shoulder like he so easily did her a couple of night ago, but he was too strong for her and his body wouldn’t budge.

She huffed, “okay, you left me no choice.”

Bucky remained still, wanting to see what she meant by that as he felt her shift behind him.

Before he knew it, she was on top of his bicep, trying to slot herself between his body and the wall.

“What on earth—”

“You started it, Bucky!” She said, voice determined as she kept pushing, trying to squeeze herself in the small space accessible.

Bucky looked at her in amusement for a second before moving back, making her body drop as larger space became available.

She landed with the tiniest “ouff” on the mattress, facing Bucky on her side with her back to the wall, its coolness helping soothe the heat rising to the surface of her skin.

That was the closest she had been to Bucky since their hug the night of his injury, face to face as his passionate sapphire eyes watched hers.

“Hi,” she whispered, heart in her throat.

“Hi,” Bucky replied with a charming smile, smoothing some of her ruffled strands back in place.

She stared at the orc’s eyes, not the slightest bit scared of the fact that she was trapped against the wall by his huge body.

“You’re not the only one who wants to be loyal to this marriage, Bucky,” she said, surprising Bucky and herself, “I don’t want the farmer. I don’t want anyone else.” but you.

Bucky smiled in disbelief, taken aback by her words, and she took it as permission to move closer to his chest. He instinctively wrapped her up in a protective hug, wondering how he was able to hold himself back from kissing her.

She pushed her face into her orc’s chest, his scent and warmth engulfing her into a protective bubble.

She couldn’t believe she said the words she has just said and it made her bury her burning face deeper in Bucky’s arms.

He could only hug her tighter, his nose in her sweet-smelling hair as his smile grew bigger.

This moment right there was everything Bucky has ever wished for. He could die a happy orc right then and there.

~

It became a habit for them to go out to the village on Bucky’s day off. They were both having a great time, getting closer and falling harder.

Cole hasn’t spoken to her again after learning that the snow orc was actually her husband, and she respected Bucky’s feelings and never approached Cole’s booth no matter how pretty the plants on his stand were.

Market outings were their thing now and she wasn’t going to let anything ruin that.

She didn’t want anyone else’s attention but Bucky’s anyway. His hand has almost fully healed and she could now squeeze it all she wanted whenever she got excited about anything they encountered.

One thing did occur that annoyed her though and that was the way the jewelry lady would look at her every time she and Bucky would pass by. The woman had so much pity in her eyes when she saw her hand in an orc’s and she hated it.

She despised the way people misjudged her orc when he was far better than any human man she could’ve ever ended up with.

Yet, the lady kept giving her those pitiful looks, probably thinking Bucky had enslaved her or something.

But enough was enough.

When Bucky was busy looking at the knives, she made her way to the jewelry lady, determined to put an end to the ridiculousness.

“He is my husband,” she sternly told the lady in the jewelry stand, taking the chance that Bucky wasn’t listening.

“Oh.” The lady quickly gave a kind smile, turning from concerned about her to happy for her, “I apologize for misjudging you, dear. I was only worried about you. We’ve all heard stories about him.”

“Well, that’s all they are. Stories.” She ferociously defended, her eyes still stern.

“I’m sorry,” the woman sincerely expressed her regret, squeezing her hand.

She nodded with a small smile, accepting the older woman’s apology.

“I don’t see a ring on your hand.” The jewelry lady gestured to the collection of rings in her glass box with a wink.

“Oh.”

The sentence caught Bucky’s ears as he turned away to look at her embarrassed face.

“We didn’t get time to buy one. It all happened so quickly,” she explained awkwardly and Bucky’s expression fell.

“I have a pretty collection if you wanna take a look, and don’t worry about the price,” the older lady suggested kindly.

“No, it’s okay—”

“Choose what you like, sweet thing,” Bucky whispered to her, immediately by her side when he saw her eyes skimming over the jewelry, “I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the human marriage traditions. I should’ve gotten you one sooner.”

“It’s okay, Bucky. You don’t have to,” she reassured with a tender smile.

She didn’t need a ring to know that she was Bucky’s.

“I want to. I want you to wear my ring, little human.” Bucky raised her hands to his lips, placing the softest kisses on her each finger.

Her heart surged as a shy smile spread on her lips, heat rising to her cheeks.

“Okay.” She nodded happily, feeling like she was in a dream and she never wanted to wake up.

Though very expensive, Bucky ended up buying her the ring she chose. It was the prettiest gold ring with a moss agate blue diamond.

She tried to talk him out of it, wanting to pick something cheaper, but Bucky wouldn’t have it.

She has never felt as special as she felt with Bucky’s ring on her finger. It was the prettiest thing from the most handsome orc.

And in that very moment, she was the happiest that she trusted her gut; that she gave Bucky, and herself a chance for this marriage to be something more than a contractual deal.

Bucky couldn’t believe she has finally let him make her his. When he slipped that ring on her tiny finger, he felt like he was king of the world.

While walking back to their cottage, a new dream got unlocked inside of her, one that included her and Bucky and their very own little stand in the market.

“Can we stop by the shop before we go home?” She asked tentatively.

“Sure, why? Did you forget something there yesterday?”

She has been to the shop a couple of times, curious to meet the important people in Bucky’s life and possibly have friends of her own, too.

“No, just wanna show Sarah the ring,” she said, a shy smile lighting up her happy face.

Bucky brought her hand to his lips, kissing her ring finger this time, “to the shop it is.”

~

Everything was going amazingly and she wished with all her heart that it would stay that way, but unfortunately, the very next day was a day for another fight that none of them saw coming.

Bucky still hasn’t recovered from her little stunt a few weeks ago and today he came back to find the cottage empty again.

He should have locked the door. He shouldn’t have trusted that a ring on her finger might stop her old habits or give her a magical change of heart.

What about all the small moments she had shared? Did those mean nothing to her?

Bucky’s anger and feeling of betrayal wiped away everything nice that had happened between the two of them, only remembering that she never wanted to be here in the very first place.

“Why are you so adamant about making me lose my mind?” Bucky asked, pushing her inside and slamming the door behind them.

“I’m not! Would you just listen?!” She yelled back, startled by the harsh treatment.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Bucky shouted as if he didn’t hear her.

“I was just—”

“Wandering through the forest alone is dangerous, I’ve told you time and again, and yet you keep doing it!”

“Would you listen to me?!” 

“No! You acted like you would stop running, so what changed?!” Bucky threw his big arms in the air, making her take a step back.

Bucky looked bigger than he usually did when he was livid like that.

“I wasn’t running!” She repeated, her voice tinged with anger of her own at the distrust.

“Stop lying!” Bucky growled, roughly grabbing her by the arm.

“I’m not lying,” she insisted as she tried not to wince at the way Bucky held her forearm, her jaw clenched defiantly.

“Then what were you doing up the hill, huh?” Bucky unconsciously squeezed her arm harder.

“You’re hurting me.” She tried to pull away, but Bucky wouldn’t release her.

“You think you’re the only one who has fucking feelings?” Bucky shook her in his hold, unintentionally bruising her further.

She cried out but it fell on deaf ears, “Bucky, let me go!”

“Do you think what you do doesn’t affect me just because I’m not a goddamn human?!” He forced her closer, making her tears fall as he barked in her face.

His words hung heavy in the air, echoing through the spacious room.

“Bucky, please,” she tried again, not wanting to fight anymore.

Bucky finally listened, suddenly shocked at his actions as he let her arm go.

It’s been so long since he had made her cry and he just ruined everything good he had worked on building with her.

She just stood there, whimpering in pain as she held her arm to her chest.

Bucky watched her roll the sleeve of her winter dress up to look at her arm and there they were: thick fingerprints on her flesh.

“I— I’m sorry,” he whispered, trying to get closer to look at her arm, swallowing hard.

To his surprise, she let him.

“I’m sorry, little human.” Bucky wiped a few of her tears away, regret evident in his voice.

“I wasn’t running,” she repeated, pushing her hands in the pockets of her dress, “I was collecting berries to decorate the cake I made earlier.” She pulled handfuls of now ruined wild strawberries, raspberries and blackberries out of her pockets and dropped them on the wooden table for him to see.

She left Bucky alone to stare at the berries and went to the kitchen.

And boy did he stare.

He felt so stupid and ashamed at the way he had reacted. He just hurt her and she wasn’t even trying to leave. He wouldn’t let her explain either and had unjustly judged her.

She got out a cold water bottle from the fridge, pushing it to her bruised arm.

Bucky walked into the kitchen, shame branded on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, not knowing what to do to correct his mistake.

“What do you think?!” She irritably snapped at him, waving her bruised arm in the air.

“I just wanted to help!” Bucky barked back.

“Well, I don’t want your help!” She shouted.

“Fine! Don’t want it!” Bucky walked out, his feet stomping on the wooden floors.

He stormed out of the cottage, violently slamming the door behind him.

Bucky then realized what he has just done and how he had made the situation even worse. He kicked a rock so hard he was sure it flew to the other side of the forest as he saw birds flying disruptively.

“Damn it!” He yelled out loud, slamming his fist to the door, making her flinch inside the cottage.

The fight between the orc’s rough exterior and his rather tender feelings for her was torturing Bucky. What he meant to show was that he cared about her and was worried for her, but instead he’d done what he’d done.

She, on the other side of the wall, irately got out of the kitchen with the trash bin and swept the berries from the table, throwing them in the garbage.

When Bucky got inside again, she was cleaning the stain of the berries from the table, her features still twisted in a frown.

He opened his mouth, trying to think of anything he could say to fix this, but nothing came out. With a sigh, he left the cottage once more, leaving her all alone.

She sat down with a huff, throwing the cloth in her hand across the room.

She let her tears run in frustration.

It was supposed to be a peaceful night where they enjoyed a delightful desert that she has worked hard on making and was going to work hard on decorating.

She was trying to start a life with him. Why did he have to ruin it like that? She wasn’t running. How could she make him believe her?

She desperately wanted, needed Bucky to trust her.

She cried harder, feeling helpless in the face of her orc’s rage as her heart clenched at the thought of a happiness gone so soon.

Part V

~

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