#i mean ryan reynolds is Fine

[pedroscurls]

secret crushes (one-shot)

summary: you've known hugh for years, having not only a personal friendship with him, but also a professional one. then, ryan decides to play matchmaker unbeknownst to you or hugh. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader word count: 4.5k warnings: this is complete filth bc how can you not look at that first photo and just be fine??? anyway - porn with little plot, unprotected p in v, public beach sex, seated cowgirl, oral - m receiving, light dirty talk, no use of y/n. a/n: this is for the anon who requested this spicy idea! i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it. i haven't opened up my requests since 2017 (i think), but ya know, that might change after this lol. i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman! this is purely fictional.

“All expenses paid,” you hear Ryan say over the phone. “You deserve a vacation. Even Blake agrees.”

“Ryan, no,” you protest, beginning to clean up your small coffee shop for the day. When you opened your own coffee shop so many years ago, you didn’t expect that not only would it be great business, but that you’d be very close friends with Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. 

“Oh, come on!” he says. “When was the last time you took time for yourself, hm?” 

There’s a silence that engulfs the two of you.

Before you can even speak, Ryan chimes in. “Exactly. You’ll have your own hotel room. You don’t have to spend the entire trip with us, though, we will be hurt if you don’t hang out with us, and–” he teases. 

“Okay, fine! Fine,” you huff. “I’m sure after Deadpool & Wolverine, you need some time for you and your family too.”

“Yeah,” Ryan replies. “I feel like I can be a good dad now.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “You’ve always been a good dad.”

“Eh,” he chuckles. “So, we’ll see you at the airport this weekend?”

“Sure.”

“Actually, we’re going to pick you up.” Ryan decides. “That way, I know for sure you’ll be coming with us.”

“God, you’re annoying!” you laugh. “Fine. I’ll see you and the family this Friday night. After I close up.”

“No, no. We’re leaving in the morning. Your coffee shop will be fine.”

“I know, it’s just–” you sigh, resting the phone between your ear and shoulder as you rearrange the bags of coffee on the display. Your mind drifts momentarily when you see the Laughing Man coffee beans, thinking about Hugh. “Nevermind.” 

“You think too much,” Ryan points out then his voice turns serious for a moment. “You’ll be okay. Your shop will be okay. In the time we’ve known you – Hugh and I – you’ve always been working, busting your ass.”

“I know,” you then move your gaze to the amount of photographs on your wall behind the counter. They are photographs that you’ve taken, candid ones of your employees, landscape portraits of the trips you’ve taken to find the best coffee beans, even personal photos of you and your family and friends, including Hugh, Ryan, and Blake. 

“So…” he says. “Pick you up Friday morning?” 

“Yes, Ryan. You can pick me up Friday morning. You’re very convincing, do you know that? You just never quit until you get your way.” 

“What can I say? I’m very persuasive.” He chuckles. “Okay, I’ll see you Friday. Have a good rest of your week. Call me if you need anything.” 

“I’m sure I’ll see you and Hugh before then,” you tease. “At this rate, all this free coffee I give you does amount to a free trip.”

“Exactly! Talk to you later.” 

—

You hadn’t spoken to Hugh in weeks, knowing that he and Ryan had been doing constant press conferences and interviews after Deadpool & Wolverine came out. You’d never admit it to either of them, but you did go out to watch the movie and it only fueled the crush that you had on Hugh. Especially that final scene. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t go home that night with thoughts filled of him. Shirtless and glistening. It was rather inappropriate, really. Not only did you and Hugh start out as friends, but you also had a partnership with him where he sells his brand of coffee at your coffee shop and takes a cut of what the sales make. It’s worked for years now and you never really looked at him in a way that was more than a friend or partner. You knew he was good looking, so sweet and funny, but it wasn’t until months after his divorce that you started to look at him differently. You had to wonder if he looked at you the same way because you started to notice how often he would come by when you were closing up to help you clean, or how his gaze on you would linger, his touches seemingly becoming more and more less friendly and more intimate. 

You’re already on the plane with Ryan, Blake, and the rest of their family. It never felt like you were the odd one out. Both Ryan and Blake always made you feel like you were part of their family. There were plenty of times where you and Hugh would babysit Ryan and Blake’s children while they were busy and always, they’d ask for Uncle Hugh to sing songs from The Greatest Showman. You were always right there next to him, singing and performing alongside him to entertain the kids. 

When you moved to New York, it was a big leap of faith. It wasn’t always easy, but Hugh, Ryan, and Blake made you feel less alone when there were times you weren’t sure you were ever going to make it out here. Now, you can’t even think of leaving New York. It has become your home. These people… They have become your family. 

You look up from your notebook to see Blake and Ryan staring at you, both with big grins on their faces. You can tell they were hiding something, so you shut your notebook and point at them.

“Okay, spill.”

Ryan feigns a gasp, palms raising up in surrender. “Can’t my beautiful wife and I stare at you lovingly?” 

Blake lets out a quiet laugh and rolls her eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re both really bad liars,” you point out. “What is it? Why are you both smiling at me like that?”

“We’re just happy that you’re finally taking some time to yourself,” Blake replies, moving to sit next to you. 

“You’re much more convincing than your husband,” you say loud enough for Ryan to hear.

“I take offense to that,” Ryan says. 

Blake turns to you and looks down at your notebook, tilting her head in amusement. “Even away from your coffee shop, all you can think about is how to improve it. Don’t you ever stop working?” 

“Never,” you laugh, opening your notebook for her to look through. “Fall is right around the corner, so I’m just thinking of a few specialty drinks that I can introduce for a limited time. I hear pumpkin spice is very popular.”

You and Blake stare at each other and then erupt into a fit of laughter, both of you shaking your heads. “Can you promise me one thing on this trip?” she asks.

“I can try.” 

“Try to have some fun, don’t think so much about work. It’ll be there when you get back. We’re in Hawaii for two weeks. Just–” Blake shrugs. “Be open and let loose.” 

You arch an eyebrow. “I feel like there’s a hidden meaning there somewhere.”

“Oh, there is!” Ryan nods, a grin lining his lips. “Or is there?” 

“The both of you,” you shake your head. “Are ridiculous.”

“Ah, but you love us,” Blake grins. 

“Unfortunately,” you tease. “But okay, I’ll do my best. No work. No thinking about work. I’ll try and focus on being in the present.” 

“Maybe you can meditate,” Ryan calls out. “You know, Hugh swears by it.” 

Hugh. The mere mention of his name makes your heart flutter and you subconsciously bite your lower lip. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Blake who tries to bite back a smile. 

“Yeah, maybe.” You stand up and then motion towards the bathroom, excusing yourself from both Blake, Ryan, and their kids. 

Blake then turns to Ryan and grins. She whispers very quietly. “I think it’s going to work.” 

“I sure hope so. Neither of them have any clue what we’re trying to do.” 

“You’ve seen it. I’ve seen it. They’re the only ones who haven’t seen it,” Blake says. 

“Oh, Hugh’s seen it,” Ryan winks. 

Blake chuckles. “Well, let’s see how this trip goes.”

“If it all goes well, they’ll be leaving together,” Ryan replies. 

—

You’ve been in Hawaii for three days now. You’ve possibly spent every moment with Ryan and his family since arriving. You didn’t mind though. Being in their company helped keep your mind away from work, away from the responsibilities that await you at home, away from Hugh. Today, though, Ryan and Blake want to spend the day at a secluded beach to allow their kids to roam free and have fun without worrying about possible paparazzi. 

You look at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a deep blue bikini set – a halter triangle top tied at the base of your neck and back, and a cheeky bottom with side ties that rest on the side of your hips – with a white, long sleeve cover-up. You take a few pictures of yourself, wanting to send it to Hugh or even post it on social media, but you don’t. Instead, you turn off your phone and set it inside your bag before you leave your room to meet Ryan and the family. 

Throughout the entire ride to the island, Ryan and Blake can’t keep their eyes off of you. You busy yourself, though, with playing with their kids, hearing their laughter fill the car. You can tell they’re excited, jumping up and down in their seats as they talk amongst one another about the things they’ll do once they get to the beach. 

It isn’t until you all arrive at the beach and climb out that you notice another car in the lot. Ryan had mentioned before that it would just be his family and you, so you had to wonder if maybe he had gotten something wrong along the way of planning this. But if you were concerned about it, he certainly didn’t show it himself. Instead, he climbs out of the car and grabs the kids’ bags from the trunk before he and Blake motion for you to follow them onto the beach. Your toes hit the sand as you slide your sunglasses on your face. You tell Ryan and Blake that you’ll be at a distance, allowing them at least some time to spend with their kids without you and it gives you enough time to try and meditate. Maybe it will work, you tell yourself. 

You don’t see anyone else nearby and you’re at a good distance from Ryan and Blake, so you set down your towel and bag, removing your cover-up and sunglasses. You make sure to reapply more sunscreen before you walk towards the water. It’s cold and it causes a shiver to run down your spine, so you force yourself to dive in to get acclimated to the temperature of the water. 

The beach had always calmed you down, kept you grounded. It was one of the reasons why you had been so hesitant to leave your hometown of California. From one side of the coast to another. Once you come back up, you run your hands through your wet hair, slicking it back away from your face as you stand, the water only reaching your upper thighs. When you open your eyes, though, your jaw drops. 

Hugh is within a few arms reach as his eyes meet yours. The surprise look on his face tells you all that you need to know. 

He had no idea you would be here.

And neither did you. 

You can’t help but let your eyes take in his frame. His broad chest, water trickling down his frame, disappearing into the waistband of his black board shorts. He’s pulling his shorts up just a bit, but it gives you a good view of the v-cut he has and immediately, you’re aware of the feeling between your legs.

But just like you’re checking him out, Hugh’s also allowing his eyes to roam over your frame. The bikini you’re wearing is so tiny and tight around your frame. He tries to tell himself not to get excited at the mere sight of you, but it’s hard. He’s getting hard, so he does his best to think of other things that could lessen his excitement. 

Since his divorce, Hugh had taken comfort in your presence. What started out as a friendship turned partnership had blossomed into something else. Surely, you felt it too. Or at least that’s what he told himself. 

“Hello, you,” he calls out. 

The both of you begin walking towards each other, meeting in the middle as the waves crash around you. 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” you say softly. Out of instinct, you reach out to give him a hug, warms snaking around his shoulders. This feels good, hugging him like this feels fucking great. You feel his hard chest and hair against you. He’s so wet, so slick and you just want to–

“I think Ryan may have forgotten to tell us both,” Hugh says, voice deep and husky against your ear as his arms wrap around your waist. Hugh shuts his eyes as he feels your breasts against him, his fingertips resting just above your backside and he feels his manhood stir awake. 

Quickly, Hugh pulls away, slowly lowering himself in the water to cover the growing erection between his legs and also to keep some distance between your bodies. You do the same, swimming further into the water as you both continue to float. 

“And Blake,” you add. “You think it was intentional? You ask, turning to look over your shoulder to see both Ryan and Blake staring at the both of you. 

Hugh looks over at them and lets out a quiet chuckle. “Dunno,” he answers. “But I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too,” you blush, heat rising in your cheeks. “How long– How long have you been here?”

“Three days.”

“Those fuckers,” you chuckle. “They totally set this up.”

Hugh laughs alongside you and tilts his head in amusement. He watches you closely, seeing you gnaw at your lower lip nervously (it’s something he’s noticed about you very early on). You bring your hand up to stroke your hair back away from your face and Hugh can’t help but smile to himself. He likes you. Really likes you and he knows that he shouldn’t act on it, knows that there should be some boundary, but he can’t help himself. 

“You nervous?” he asks quietly. 

“What?” you answer, looking up at him. “No…”

“You’re doin’ that thing you do,” Hugh points out. He gently reaches out and runs the pad of his thumb along your lower lip, causing you to release it between your teeth. 

“What thing?” 

“You know what thing,” he chuckles, slowly swimming closer to you. “You bite your lower lip a lot when you get nervous or when you’re deep in thought. So, you’re either nervous or you’re thinkin’ about somethin’. Which is it?”

“Neither,” you lie. 

Hugh narrows his eyes slowly and drags his thumb at the center of your lower lip and down to your chin until he hooks it in his grasp. “Now, I know you’re not someone who lies,” he begins, moving his thumb across your jawline. “Don’t tell me you’re lying now.”

“I’m both,” you blurt out, leaning against his touch. “I’m nervous and I’m thinking about something.”

“You’re always thinking about something,” Hugh points out. “Do I…” he asks hesitantly and drops his hand back into the water. “Do I make you nervous?”

“Right now you are.”

“Why?” 

“Because…” you whisper, looking deeply into his eyes. “One, we’re both basically half naked.”

“We’re at a beach,” he says with a small smile. “We’re in our bathing suits.”

“Half naked,” you correct. “And two, you’re just–” you stop yourself and drop your eyes to his lips then back up to gaze into his eyes. You then remember what Blake told you. Try to have some fun. Be open. Let loose. Now, you understand exactly what she meant by that. So, you let out a shaky breath and continue. “You’re just so fucking hot, Hugh, and yes, you’re making me nervous because you’re literally shirtless and wet, and you’re muscular and it’s just–”

Hugh’s laughter interrupts your rambling. You notice the way his nose crinkles upwards when the laughter comes deep within the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, you’re very aware that you just made a fool out of yourself and you gently shove him. 

“It’s not funny! You asked and so I told you. I was being honest!” 

“I’m not–” he sighs, his laughter dying down. “I’m not laughing at you, baby.” The term slips past his lips so effortlessly and he reaches out from underneath the water to grab a hold of your hip, pulling you to him. “I’m laughing because you think I’m hot to a point that you’re stuttering over your words. Have you seen yourself?” The smile remains on his lips and his thumb begins to rub circles at your hip. “Because if anyone should be nervous, it’s me.”

“You?” 

“Oh, come on,” he says. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that I’ve got the biggest crush on ya.” 

“Wait, you what?” your eyes slightly widen in surprise, but you can’t help the way your stomach flips in excitement. 

“I’ve got a crush on ya,” he whispers. “And I shouldn’t even be having crushes at this age,” Hugh chuckles nervously. “But I do. I like you.”

“You’re not joking?”

“Why would I be joking?”

“Because you can have literally anyone you want and–”

“I want you.” Hugh says, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. “Do you want me to?” 

“More than you fucking know, Hugh.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press your lips against him. You sigh against him moving your legs to wrap around his waist underneath the water as you move your lips against his own. 

Hugh growls against you, both hands moving to your hips as he leans further into you, tilting his head to get a better angle of your lips. He didn’t realize this was how his trip was going to go. After Ryan convinced him to take some time off, especially after the success of their movie together, he was hesitant. He didn’t want to take time off. He was used to being busy, especially after his divorce, but Hugh had only agreed to come on the trip to figure out his feelings for you. 

He just didn’t realize that you’d be here too. 

In the distance, you and Hugh can hear a faint clapping and hollering. You both pull away to look over at the noise and see Blake, Ryan, and their kids jump up in excitement, cheering for the both of you. You see them wave in your direction before they begin to grab their things, making their way back to the parking lot. You then look at Hugh and gaze into his eyes.

“Are they leaving us? Leaving me?” You ask. 

“I can take you back,” Hugh says softly. 

You bite your lower lip and nod. “Only if it isn’t–”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if our hotel rooms are right next to each other,” Hugh chuckles, slowly then moving his hands down as he grasps your backside in his large hands, pulling you flush against him. His gaze darkens as he stares into your eyes. He thinks maybe he might have moved too fast, but when you roll your hips against him, he knows exactly what’s going to happen next. 

You want him just as bad as he does. 

“Hugh,” you whisper, voice laced with desire. “Please.” 

“Tell me, baby.”

“I need you.” You bury your face in the side of his neck and gently nip at his skin, feeling his hands move under you, his long fingers brushing against your core as it causes you to gasp. 

Hugh’s painfully hard against his board shorts and he lets out a low groan when he feels your teeth scrape against the skin at his neck. He feels you squirming against him, moaning into his ear and he has to pull away briefly to look into your eyes. 

“Are you sure?”

“If I have to say please one more time…”

“I don’t mind hearin’ you beg,” he winks. “Come on.” Hugh leads you out of the water and towards his towel in a much more secluded area. You drift from him for a moment to grab your things before following him, watching him lay out his towel before he takes a seat on it, legs spread wide. 

You bite your lower lip and lay out your towel in front of him, dropping to your knees as you crawl towards him until you're seated on your knees between his legs. “We won’t get in trouble, will we?”

Hugh shrugs, reaching down to cup your cheek. “Don’t think so. Ryan made sure that no one but us should be here and–”

“That’s good enough for me.” You lean down and move your hands to the waistband of his board shorts. He’s dripping wet from the water and you can see the outline of his length perfectly due to his shorts sticking to him. You hook your fingers into the waistband and slowly pull it down enough to see his length spring free. Hugh lets out a low groan of relief and reaches behind you to undo the knot at the base of your neck. Once loose, he watches your top fall open to reveal your breasts. He doesn’t have enough time to take in your newly exposed chest because your hand wraps around his base, soft lips grazing the head of his manhood. 

“Ah, baby,” he growls, moving a hand to your shoulder, gripping it tightly as your mouth wraps around his tip. Hugh shuts his eyes and tosses his head back, moving one hand to rest on the towel while the other remains on your shoulder. 

You look up at him, feeling an immediate possessiveness wash over you. He looks so beautiful like this, eyes shut, chest heaving, and at your mercy. 

You begin to stroke his base as your tongue swirls around his tip, lapping at his precum. His groans slowly become louder as you lower your head to take more of him, stroking his base when you realize you can’t take him whole. He’s larger than you expected, girthy and long, and it excites you. As you continue to stroke him in time with sucking his length, you feel Hugh’s hand move from your shoulder to the back of your head as his hips slightly lift itself. He pushes himself further into your mouth, feeling the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat repeatedly. 

“Fuck,” he moans, eyes opening to look down at you. God, Hugh can just come at the sight of you. Tears slightly stinging the corners of your eyes and your mouth stuffed full of him. What a beautiful fucking sight, he thinks.

Slowly, Hugh has to pull away from you because he feels the pit of his stomach tightening, searching for release. He lets out a low growl that reverberates through his chest and you lean up on your knees, licking your lips. Hugh reaches out for you and pulls you on his lap, hurriedly moving your bikini bottom to the side. He grasps his manhood and runs his tip along your length, feeling your wetness coat him with each movement.

“You’re wet for me?” he asks, eyes staring up at you. 

“Only for you.” you reply, eyes fluttering as you feel his tip slowly push into you. He releases his hold on his length and rests his hand on your hip, leaning down to press soft kisses against your chest before he moves onto a breast, flicking his tongue against your nipple repeatedly before he wraps his lips around it. 

You let out a loud moan, moving your hands to his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself onto him, your walls tight and wet sliding down his cock. You feel so full of him and he’s not yet fully in the hilt. The stretch is almost painful, but you’re so wet and throbbing that you have to stop yourself from slamming down onto him. 

“Oh god, Hugh,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders as you move along his length, not yet allowing him to fill you to the hilt as your walls begin to make way for him. 

Hugh moves his lips to your other breast, eyes staring up at you. He wants more of you, needs more of you so he slowly lifts his hips, inching further within your depths. 

“Shit,” he groans, watching as his cock disappears into you completely. Hugh’s hands rest over your hips as you pull him closer to you, chests pressed against one another as you slowly roll your hips against his. “So fucking tight, baby,” he whispers against you, forehead resting on yours. 

“You’re–” you gasp, feeling his hair at the base brush against your clit as you continue your movements. “So big,” you moan, eyes falling shut. 

Hugh gently pecks your lips and takes a hold of your hips to guide you along his length. He watches you reach for his cowboy hat, placing it on top of your head and Hugh has to force himself to hold back his release. 

“You’re so hot,” he moans, allowing you to take control of your movements. Hugh can’t help the way your walls tighten around his cock – you’re so warm and wet, so inviting and tight. He knows he’s close, but he can’t– he can’t finish without you finishing first. 

“Baby,” Hugh whimpers, holding you flush against him in a tight grip. “Don’t– Fuck, baby, don’t move.” 

“It’s okay,” you whisper, hands moving to link at the base of his neck. “You can come, Hugh.”

“No,” he shakes his head, losing his resolve as your hips move forward and backward slowly. “You have to be first– Shit…”

“This won’t be the only time,” you say reassuringly, lightly pecking his lips. You then increase your movements, hips moving forward and backward at a faster pace. Hugh’s so deep in this position and you know you’re close, but you’re determined to have Hugh finish before you. 

“Sweetheart,” Hugh grunts. “Baby, I’m–” His eyes flutter shut as he lets out a loud groan, mouth slightly agape as his fingertips dig almost painfully into your hips. His release shoots inside of you, painting your walls as his manhood throbs within your depths. 

He’s still half hard and you take this moment to begin bouncing along his length, using your hand to reach down between you to rub your clit and Hugh’s eyes narrow. He pushes your hand away and rubs your clit with his thumb in a circular motion. 

Hugh feels possessive and almost animalistic at the sight of you using him to get yourself off. He can feel your walls begin to tremble and he’s still a bit sensitive, but you just feel so fucking good. 

“Come on, baby,” he coos, applying pressure to your clit. “I know you’re there. Come for me, sweetheart.”

That’s all it took. Your walls tighten around his length as your body trembles against him. Hugh moves his hand to wrap his arms around your waist, leaning up to press his lips against yours. He’s still inside of you, his length softening as the moment passes. 

You move your lips lazily against his, heavy breaths passing through the both of you as Hugh pulls back slowly. “Wanna head back to the hotel?” he grins. 

“Oh, hell yeah.” 

[veronicawildest]

NAKSHATRA SERIES: OBSERVATION FROM DIFFERENT NAKSHATRAS (TERCERO)

If you're offended just block me. If you get it, you get it, if you don't, fuck off

PURVA PHALGUNI:

When you're in a Laziest competition and the opponent is Purva phalguni native: ☹️🙁🫤😰😰😨😞

They're the 2nd place for being cheesiest interms of being relationship and inlove (I will revealed the winner of this on the next observations)

I realized just I've been googling Sydney Sweeney that her fiance is 13 years much older than her. The Purva phalguni sun celebrities too as well:

Blake Lively (Purva phalguni moon) and Ryan Reynolds

Beyonce (Purva phalguni sun) and Jay Z

Mena Suvari ( Purva phalguni moon) married Richard Brinkmann on March 4, 2000, when she was 21 and he was 37

It's really a pattern and the Opposite sign of leo is aquarius which is saturn.

Purva phalguni love cars. Aside from Elon Musk, Sydney Sweeney has a tiktok account about repairing cars. She has Purva phalguni sun conjunct rahu (intensifying the energy of Purva phalguni)

The physiognomy of this nakshatra is that they have THICK and unruly eyebrows. (Brooke Shields, Taylor Hill) even that i known in my life has this trait

Certain Purva phalguni celebs talks about anxiety and stressed a lot. The lead singer of Twenty One Pilots, Tyler Joseph is a Purva phalguni moon and you can observe that his songs has a lot of topic about this certain extent. Doubt and Stressed are some of this.

They really love music and arts. Claire nakti specifically talk about performing arts but all kinds of arts related to pleasure. They really love it.

Don't let the laziness of this nakshatra fool you. If they have a goal they'll be great at focusing and getting the goal (Just give them a reason to give a F*** to get it but if they really don't care, they be lazy ass about it)

UTTARA PHALGUNI:

Connections are important to them (even if it's shallow at some extend you will observe them social climbing up way to the top)

Friends before hoes nakshatra (The girls of this nakshatra are more hoes into friends they love their partner more than friends tho)

The older partner one that i observe over purva phalguni girls earlier extend to this nakshatra. but for girls too.

Much funnier than you would expect and also not afraid to speak their minds even if someone is gonna get hurt by them. My classmate has this. If she is a celebrity, one second = cancelled!

Now that I've mention that Nicki Minaj has this moon. No wonder why, Some would say her unhinged opinions on certain things is her manifestation at Jyestha, but i would disagree.

(Some unevolved) girls of this nakshatra are not so much girls girl. They don't claim to be one which is fine but you don't need to bring down others. (They doing it for their friends because of connections y'know shittalking)

The abbreviation of I of Uttara phalguni is INDEPENDENT

HASTA:

I underestimated how this nakshatra gets a lot of hate (some of them are understandable tho)

They're great friends tho. they're are f yapper (if they're comfortable at you)

I always observe them. They're like a sexy librarian (common sidereal virgos that i known have a glasses)

If you want a manipulation teacher who can teach you all kinds of manipulation techniques (I'm talking about drawing, forgery and tarots manipulation involving hands) Go to HASTA!!!!!

They're great mimicker and impersonator (not all are accurate but most of them are funny)

Witty nakshatra (they known how to banter)

Females with this nakshatra have MANY male friends.

They're fvcking horny. Don't let the hasta = nun, virgin fool you bruh

Chitra:

Major trolls!! What i mean to be troll is They like to play dumb even if they are not dumb (Extends to Mrigashira and Dhanistha) They're not DUMB.

They have a manipulation for cameras, If hasta excel at being at work or manipulation of paper involving hands, Chitra would excel at editing, photos and also jewels.

Catriona Gray (Miss Universe 2018) has Chitra moon. As you would see, she looks like Olivia Rodrigo (Chitra moon). Her iconic answer in M.U is Silver Lining and correlation of this nakshatra to jewels.

Most of the gay people that i known have this nakshatra

Kylie Jenner has Mars in Chitra conjunct her moon. That's why the influence of the body is very mars like nakshatra (Her sisters that have some Mars nakshatra/Sidereal mars sign have curvy BBL vibes are Kim Kardashian (Chitra sun) Khloe Kardashian (Dhanistha moon) and Kourtney Kardashian (Ashwini Sun))

SWATI

Others expect that Swati would be the Sweet side of the Libra compare to the other two (Libra side of Chitra and Vishakha), They're fvcking BLUNT!!!! They're also proud to be "Scorpios" just like Vishakha.

Common placement to have on Celebrities. Especially on states. The Celebrities we have on my home country is dominated by Mars nakshatra

In the past, I have a crush on this swati guy. First impression to him that he wasn't real (my mind is foggy remembering him, he's the first one I met to be that unique) even tho I spoke and everyday we talk on school (i didn't know vedic astrology when i met him) wasn't aware that i've been channeling this nakshatra and picking up the vibes of him. ( He loves to joke as well)

My interpretation and explanation of why Libra ( extends to Vishakha) are debilitated on this sign is the misguided aggression of this nakshatra. Some would argue that Magha and Purva phalguni have this too (Magha being cocky about it) but Libra are passive aggressive for some reason. They dont know how to properly assert themselves.

Swati are Physically attractive (you're lying if you found one ugly, or just a hater)

VISHAKHA:

I read on tumblr once, I forgot what her tumblr astrology name was but she mention that Vishakha and Cowboy correlation and I agree to this. Beyonce recently made this. In the past Miley Cyrus has Vishkaha moon and she made Jolene cover. Also, Owen Wilson famously play cowboys in his film.

I just don't know how to word this properly but Vishakha looks good (like goody two shoes good noy reffering to good looking) even if they're not (bad attitude).

If were talking about attractiveness of this nakshatra: i would say HOT, SEXY, SEDUCTIVE. Honestly, this nakshatra extends to femme fatale in my opinion.

They're fucking two face ( I know this is the symbol of Purva bhadraphada but Vishakha? Backstabbing if you're UNEVOLVED)

They great at fashion tho. If you want advice just go to Viskaha interms of beauty and fashion. They're great (among all nakshatra i considered them to be great at transforming other people, Claire nakti said this nakshatra was great for makeover so)

[nyoomfruits]

For the Valentines trope: roommates to lovers, landoscar, prompt 4

Please Nyoom I’m on my knees begging your writing keeps me alive 🙏

“before you say anything about me being at home tonight, i want to remind you that you are too.”

He runs into Oscar in the hallway. Oscar’s dressed in his usual evening clothes consisting of a pair of loose sweat pant shorts and a well worn t-shirt, glasses perched on his nose and hair standing in every which direction. There’s a mug in his hand, empty, which means he’s probably on his way to the kitchen to refill it.

The kitchen Lando just came from, which is why he’s currently holding a bag of crisps and a can of coke. “Before you say anything,” Lando says, when he sees Oscar’s eyes swoop down to his slightly disheveled state and the snacks in his hands, “about me being home tonight, I want to remind you that you are too.”

“I’m always home,” Oscar says, almost on autopilot. His eyes zero in on the crisps. It’s a bag of Doritos. Nacho cheese, real brand ones, not the knock offs. Lando keeps one in the pantry for emergencies, likes to eat them when he feels down.

Oscar knows this.

“Well, now so am I,” Lando says, goes to shoulder his way past Oscar, but Oscar is too fast, grabs him by the upper arm, bring him to a halt. “What happened?” He says.

And god. Lando so doesn’t want to talk about what happened. Especially not to Oscar, who’s like. Way too sweet about everything always. In an ideal world, he’d be into Oscar instead of all these douchebags that keep breaking his heart. “It’s fine,” he says, but there’s a shake in his voice, and Oscar doesn’t let go, just keeps staring at him.

“Carlos broke up with me,” Lando eventually says, shoulders sagging. “Or well. Apparently there was nothing to break, actually. Apparently it was just a casual thing anyway. Which I wasn’t aware of, so,” he shrugs, and tries not to cry, all at the same time.

“Hm,” Oscar says, considers this for a second. “I don’t think the Doritos are going to cut it,” he eventually says, and then promptly turns and disappears into his bedroom.

Lando is too stunned and confused to really react to that, so he’s still standing in the hallway a few seconds later, when Oscar reappears with a bag of gummy words and a packet of microwave popcorn. “My personal emergency stash,” he says, when Lando just stares at them. “Now, come on,” he adds, nudging Lando in the direction of the living room. “Go pick the worst action movie you can find. I will go make us some horrible cocktails. We need booze for this.”

The cocktails really will be horrible, Lando thinks, as he makes his way into the living room in a slight daze, still clutching the bag of Doritos in his hands. Oscar’s a good cook, in general, does most of the actual cooking in their little household, as long as you can call two people living together because housing prices in the UK are off the charts really a household, but he’s terrible at making drinks.

Lando’s just settles on the newest Ryan Reynolds movie, when Oscar reappears with a tray holding the snacks and two horribly pink drinks. At least he’s stuck umbrellas in them. “What do we have that’s pink?” Lando asks, holding up his drink.

Oscar pulls a face. “You don’t want to know,” he says.

Lando hums and takes a sip. It’s so, so incredibly gross, in a way that weirdly loops back to good. “God, you suck at this,” he says, with a little cough. “It even tastes pink.”

“I did promise you they would be horrible,” Oscar says, takes a sip of his own drink and grimaces. “God, that’s fowl. Alright, what’re we watching?”

They turn on the movie, and Oscar lets Lando talk through almost the entire thing, someone his other friends always find wildly annoying but that Oscar never really seems to mind much, smiling fondly at Lando and quietly chewing on his popcorn.

When the movie is over they put on another one, and then when that ones over, and the room has gone dark, and the snacks have all been finished, Oscar turns towards Lando, tucks his feet under himself, and says, “Okay, you want to talk about it?”

Lando sighs, lets his head fall back against the couch. “Not really,” he says. “I mean, what is there to talk about? Once again I thought I had found the one and once again they only saw me as a casual fling. Tale as old as time. You know, I’m starting to think maybe I’m not meant for love. Maybe I’m just meant to die old and alone.”

“You won’t die old and alone,” Oscar immediately counters. “Come on, no. You’re a catch.”

“Really?” Lando asks, lets his head fall towards the side so he’s facing Lando. “Why is no one catching me, then?”

Oscar bites his lip. “Maybe you’ve just been looking in the wrong places.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Lando sighs. “Anyway, how’s your love life going. Now we’re on the topic.”

Oscar never talks about his love life much. Lando knows there was a girlfriend, but she left the picture long before Lando entered it, and there hasn’t been anyone since.

“Bad,” is all Oscar says.

“Aw, no, Osc, come on, you gotta give me more than that,” Lando says, poking Oscar in the knee.

Oscar shrugs. “I mean. I’m in love with someone, I guess. But uh, they’re not in love with me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Lando says. “Who wouldn’t be in love with you? You’re adorable.”

Oscar smiles a little ruefully, ducks his head. “Yeah, well. They aren’t.”

“Blegh,” Lando says, picks up his third? Fourth? Suspiciously pink drink, holds it up to Oscar in a toast. “Well, here’s to shitty love lives. Let us stick together at least, so we might die old but not alone.”

Oscar’s smiles a little sadly. “To dying old, not alone,” he says, and takes another sip. “God, fucking hell, please never let me make another cocktail ever again.”

[daphnethebanjolover]

Thoughts on IF

Also known as "Ryan Reynolds Looking Hella Fine for 1 hour 44 minutes Straight"

You gotta watch this movie. Don't ask why. Just do it.

I've always wanted to know what Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends would look like in a live-action setting, and if John Krasinski has to be the one to bring that to life, then so be it.

I will admit, I was confused at the beginning as to why Bea was at the hospital when the mom was already dead.

Before I say anything else, the soundtrack. This is why music is in movies. The music always seemed to fit both the specific scene and the whimsical mood of the film as a whole.

Also, the CGI. All of the IFs fit seamlessly into the live-action scenery without being excessively photorealistic. I mean, there's one scene where Bea walks past Blue, and he casts a shadow on her. How do they do that?

Speaking of Blue, 10/10 casting. Steve Carell has the exact type of energy needed for Blue.

John Krasinski had to have heard of Foster's. I mean, come on. There's literally a character named Blue.

Blue: I'm Blue. Me: You're purple. Bea: You're purple. Me: (hits arm on armrest from laughing too hard)

We wear suspenders in this house.

The surprise I felt when I heard Steve Carell's voice coming out of that guy was exactly the same as when I realized Billy Crystal voiced Calcifer in Howl's Moving Castle.

I like that lil' freak who looks like the Faker from Jackbox, but he's gotta stop climbing onto people.

Also, that art mannequin guy looks kinda sexy. Is that just me?

That ghost guy just spent the whole time vibin'.

The Better Be Good to Me dance number has me convinced that this would make waves on Broadway. We just need the budget for Bea to re-imagine the house.

The underwater scene after Cal gets pushed in the pool was sick. This must be why people like that one Nirvana album cover.

I had a feeling that Blossom used to be Grandma's IF just from looking at Grandma's tutu in the picture. I didn't even notice her in the background.

The scene where Bea is by her dad's bed while he's sleeping makes me think this is the type of movie that would make my mom cry.

I know that the "picture was folded the whole time" trope has been done before, but that twist actually got me while also putting together so many pieces at the same time.

Seeing Ryan Reynolds in that dorky-ass clown outfit was simultaneously the most beautiful and the most hilarious moment in the entire movie.

Overall, 9/10. That 48 on Metacritic is wack.

[lachiennearoo]

It feels sometimes like I'm living in a crazy world. It's so frustrating to me, to feel so much that I am right yet most people I encounter act like I'm insane;

I'll give you guys some context;

As we all know, I'm a huge Deadpool fan. And that means I follow a lot of stuff related to the media.

And recently I made a comment on Threads complimenting the stunt work in the new movie, saying "I'm a pacifist, but the way the action scenes in Deadpool are shot makes violence look sexy as fuck". Y'know just a funny little joke, what have you.

And then... Some person (probably a lady by the way they talked) replied to me and said basically that she watched the movies with her 11 year old kid.

And well y'know, I was concerned. Because all the Deadpool movies are rated R. So they're adult-oriented, made for adult audiences, with nudity and sex and gore and violence and swearing...

And I told her that. And the lady just started getting mad like "oh you don't know me or my family" and "he's very grown up for his age" and "it's just a movie it's not a big deal".

Like... Fuck, man. I've been in the adult industry for years now. I've encountered minors who have been raised on unadulterated violence and sex and all that shit. Kids whose parents didn't think it was a big deal and vehiculated that idea to their children.

And yeah sure, sometimes it doesn't do anything to the kid. But sometimes it does, and then we, the adult content creators, are the ones having to deal with that shit.

Of minors posting comments under our posts, talking about our work, hell I even had some try to get free art or flirt with me, knowing I was an adult and they weren't.

Or minors making their own adult art and sharing it online, and then of course getting mad when told it was dangerous and saying "it's not a big deal" and whatnot.

This is how it starts. Being surrounded by people who enable that behavior. Yes, even if it's "just a movie" and "there are worst things out there".

The risk is real.

I actually made a comparison in the argument with that lady with seatbelts, because with cars, plenty of people will never experience a crash and be fine their own lives, and yet seatbelts are still heavily pushed because they are a safe method in case something happens. And people who scoff at seatbelts and say they're useless are usually looked down upon because they're actively ignoring risks associated to piloting a car without any safety measures.

And that's the same thing here

Oh wait, and it's not over yet

Because THEN, during the argument, the lady brought up an article about how Ryan Reynolds showed his 9yo daughter his new movie (Deadpool 3). And I just... Feel so disappointed.

I assume the lady showed me the article to "prove her point" but instead all it did was just make me feel even worse because not even the fucking lead actor of an adult movie cares about this shit

And it sucks

I'm just... So tired. Of everything...

[book-place]

Sleep on Set

Warnings: none (I think), let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Ryan Reynolds x reader platonic

Request: Yoooooo could you write a Ryan reynolds x teen reader :) (maybe costars or like his adopted kid or something) maybe Ryan catches them at like 3 am doing homework even though school or filming is the next day at 7 am. Y/n is just super burnt out but trying to at least cram material

Request by: @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression

*not my gif*

Summary: Ryan wakes up to find you still awake at an ungodly hour and demands that you go to bed

A/N: Slowly but surely getting out of my writers block

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

Ryan let out a long yawn, trying to put a hand over his mouth to stifle it as he did so. The last thing he wanted to do was accidentally wake up every trailer on set by being too loud at this ungodly hour of the night.

It was three in the morning and he honestly didn’t know why he was up. Filming didn’t start until seven and he was downright exhausted, but for some reason, he just couldn’t sleep. So, instead of tossing and turning for the next few hours, he decided to try and take a walk to see if that would clear his head and then he would be able to hopefully get in a couple hours of rest.

A frown pulled at the corners of his lips and he came to a sudden halt right in front of your trailer. There was lights spilling out from underneath the door and peeking out through the curtains.

He chuckled to himself as he came to the realization that you probably just fell asleep unexpectedly again, cuddled up underneath blankets on the couch with the television playing softly in the background.

As slowly and quietly as he could to not wake you up, he crept up the stairs and gently opened the door in hopes of turning off your lights and tv. In the past, this had happened and he sometimes carried you to bed if you were in an uncomfortable place.

Ryan froze though, as soon as he stepped in and was met by the sight of you hunched over a desk, hair askew and eyes holding dark bags beneath them.

Your head snapped up at the sound of your door closing and you froze like a deer in headlights, caught.

“Y/n?” Your costar asked in shock, eyes roaming to take in the scattered papers and textbooks that lay every which way.

“Oh, Ryan,” You chuckled nervously, placing down your pencil and clearing your throat.

He raised an eyebrow, “You better have just woken up.”

For an actor, you weren’t very good at lying offscreen, “What? Of course! Just wanted to do some homework before filming!”

“The same filming that starts in a couple hours?”

You nodded your head vigorously, “Yep! Yeah! That one!”

“So, you weren’t up all night?” He asked sarcastically, clearly already knowing the answer.

Your face fell at his tone and you dropped your head into your hands with a groan, tiredly rubbing at your eyes with the palm of your hands, “I didn’t mean to,” Your words came out slightly muffled, “But I have so much work to do.”

He sighed, walking over and offering you a hand to help you out of your seat, pulling you to your feet, “Come on,” He gently tugged at your arm, “We’re getting you to bed, kid.”

Quickly, you planted your heels into the ground so he couldn’t pull you, “But, I have so much-“ You began to protest.

“Nope,” He cut you off with a small glare, “You’re going to bed and staying in there until I come to wake you up.”

You sighed, head falling in defeat, “Fine, fine,” before following him to where your bed was.

He watched you climb under the covers with his hands on his hips, “Good night, kid.” He ruffled your hair and turned on his heel to go.”

“Ryan!” Your voice made him look back in curiosity, “Thank you.”

He smiled down at you affectionately, “Anytime, kid. But, don’t do this ever again. You need your sleep.”

With a lazy nod, you finally allowed your eyes to flutter shut and you were asleep before he even fully exited your trailer.

Instead of going back to his own though, he made some calls and demanded that filming be moved to later in the day so that you could get extra sleep.

Taglist- none yet

[xenosagaepisodeone]

it's so funny that this documentary exists. a retrospective on a band that has existed for nearly 30 years that is as tepid as said band's creative output. This is all clearly marketing for I guess younger post-covid nickelback fans who weren't old enough to participate in making fun of nickelback when it was the in thing, but ultimately the documentary has nothing to say because there isnt anything to say. a representative from their label accidentally alludes to this: for a time, nickelback's uncontroversial commercial sound was the only thing keeping the lights on at the studio, and the money they made went on to support the metal artists under the same label (take from that what you will). the beats the doc takes us through are the following: "were small town guys who aggressively marketed and got big because we were in spider-man" "we had some health problems, but we're fine now" "we were a meme and it kind of hurt our feelings, but were fine now" "we had some lows where things were difficult for us creatively, but were fine now". there's even a dramatic point where one band member talks about nervously going back to make amends with a bandmate they had to kick out and....it goes completely fine. No talk of struggles with sex or drugs or family, even! A largely safe, frictionless career, which is probably why this film struggles to escape the confines of it's blatant marketing framing. nickelback was monoculture without a brand in the 2000s (at least Here In Canada). This is How You Remind Me was smattered all over the radio for years (the documentary mentioned at one point nickelback would be played on the radio once ever 3 minutes in the US) but what was nickelback as a band? the exact same as seether or creed or 3 doors down...did I mention that their current drummer is actually the former drummer of 3 doors down? the film is painfully aware that part of the reason why it was so easy to take potshots at nickelback was because of this interchangeable identity but refuses to contend with it. as ryan reynolds proclaims at the beginning and towards the end of the film "it's time to admit nickelback is actually awesome", because if they sound good, what else do they need to really be, right?

if taylor swift is monoculture as horror then nickelback is monoculture as existential horror, specifically. at one point in the doc, chad kroeger says that he doesn't know what he is without nickelback, that the band is more or less his identity, and that all he would be without it is "the guy who makes jokes". this could easily be played up to give some semblance of heart, but I don't think it's necessarily dishonest. at a point, kroeger talks to his brother about how they can't rely on doing covers as often as they do. at his concert he wears band shirts for other bands (not a weird thing on its own btw just in this one context). Hes aware of being "nirvana-lite" and its likely the inspiration behind his infamous ramen hair/beard look. his mom says that being the face of the band is what repels him from getting married or having kids like his brother (do i mention that this doc barely gives a shit about the other members). they mention his brief marriage to fellow canadian export avril lavigne, who is the only person he or his wikipedia article ever reference romantically, and I can't help but wonder if there was some motivation to be a canadian musician power couple behind it all. the documentary predictably makes a big deal about the fact he's from canada, and with the lack of well, Self that is present here I can only assume that "canadian" was meant to fill the slot where "identity" was meant to be.

none of this is even me being mean. I like buttrock. when their songs from the aughts come on the radio, I go "mm...alright" and let it play like i do with old eminem or evanescence. my mom is a nickelback superfan (self professed #1 fan, even) and the copy of All The Right Reasons I bought for her birthday when I was 12 is probably one of the few non-burned cds she still has. and when I ask her what she likes so much about them beyond the passable rock angle, she goes "chad kroeger is so cute n_n"

[aropride]

trying to draw lines of who's queer and who's not is unhelpful and a waste of time and i find it's an impossible task to categorize something as uncategorizable as attraction and identity. i've started thinking of it as more of a sociopolitical label as well as an identity label, and in my opinion that's a lot more useful than sitting around trying to decide if a guy who's only ever been attracted to women and ryan reynolds counts as queer or not. because i feel like if, for instance, a straight cis man who does drag and regularly engages in trans activism and sits down with his state senator to discuss making trans sanctuary laws or whatever. wants to identify as queer. i don't really care? i don't think that affects anyone negatively. i think if someone's involved in queer activism and the queer community and they want to use the word queer for themselves i think that's fine and i think it's not any of my business.

also there's this tendency, especially online, for people to go "well what if an allocishet person uses the word queer for themself even though they arent!" and that doesn't feel like a helpful thing to worry about because like.. what if? who is really getting hurt if a gender nonconforming cishet person identifies as queer? or a woman with two husbands? i saw a post along the lines of "we've got straight girls calling themselves fagdykes this is why inclusionism is bad" and i mean. first of all i genuinely just do not believe that. i don't think there are cishet women calling themselves fagdykes. i don't think people who wouldn't be considered queer by cishet society are often proudly declaring themselves part of the queer community in general. people don't paint targets on their backs for fun. i think it's much more likely that the person they were mad at was nonbinary or bi or otherwise queer. but even if they were, like. if for some reason a completely cis completely straight woman wanted to reclaim slurs for herself, she probably has a reason for that. and it's not really our business anyway.

and i think if someone actually is "only identifying as queer to infiltrate queer spaces and cause discord and hurt people," i think that's a them problem, not a "person who uses labels i don't fully get" problem. and i don't think that happens often except for possibly in discord servers, and i think that's generally called "lying" and "being an asshole."

whenever i see stuff trying to draw a line on who's queer and who's not, whether this person can say fag or not, whether it's okay for this person to use they/them pronouns or not, whatever. "are polyamorous people queer?" "can a cis guy use they/them pronouns?" i think of ace/aro exclusionism and bi exclusionism and nonbinary exclusionism. because the arguments sound the same. something about not being "oppressed enough," about "stealing resources" (what resources?), about "well these ones are okay but those ones aren't," about fakers, about people reclaiming slurs they can't use, about how they're "making us look bad," how they're "not queer enough," whatever. and i think it's petty and useless and pretty stupid when we're in the face of a rise in violent transphobia to focus on that instead of actual problems.

i had a friend in high school who talked about how she doesn't understand sexuality and gender and gender roles because she's autistic. she was a lot like me in that we'd both pick at strict definitions of things like "queer" or "trans" and find exceptions to common strict definitions until they fell apart entirely. and she identified with just her name, not trans, not nonbinary, not cis either. not bi or pan or ace or aro or anything else, and not straight. just herself. and she was fully accepting of me and other queer people in our life and was involved in queer activism and was actively deradicalizing her mom from radfem ideology. i don't know if she identified as queer then or if she does now, but if she did/does, i don't see why she shouldn't. i don't think it'd be my place to tell her not to.

i don't know. i just think if someone wants to consider themself queer it's not my business why. because they probably have a good reason. and i think trying to define something like queerness is an impossible task, and i think there's better things to do. it's not hurting anyone for someone you or i see as allocishet to identify as queer for whatever reason. sometimes you don't have to understand the intricacies of someone's identity and life story and why they use certain words for themselves.

[drunkenskunk]

Welcome to another Drunk Skunk™ rant!

So.

I've had some time to sit and stew on the Fallout show, and I think I've finally figured out exactly what I want to say. Because kids? I got Opinions™ about this fucking series. I sincerely wish I didn't have all these Opinions™, because that would almost certainly cause me significantly less stress.

But here we are.

The Fallout show annoys me, but not for the reasons you think.

Let's get the good out of the way first. And by "good" I mean "damning with faint praise."

The Fallout show, as a piece of entertainment and experienced in a vacuum with no prior knowledge or context of the rest of the series or any of the other video games, is... fine. It's an entertaining television show. It's not great, but it's not terrible. It's okay.

The best part of the show is, unquestionably, Walton Goggins. Which is probably the coldest take here, everyone agrees that he's fantastic in this. And it's true! Granted, he doesn't look nearly as gnarly as he should, as the makeup is really giving Ryan Reynolds Deadpool Hugo Weaving Red Skull vibes, but I can honestly give that a pass. He steals every single scene he's in. He has all the best lines. Plus, all the pre-war flashbacks with him are excellent. That first scene when the bombs drop is fucking harrowing.

SPEAKING OF THE BOMBS!

The big reveal that Vault Tec were the ones to kickstart the apocalypse. My initial gut reaction to that was... Not Great. I didn't like it. In fact, I kinda hated it. I thought it was an answer to a question that nobody asked, because nobody cared, because it was never supposed to matter who shot first. The original point was that the end of the world was the inevitable outcome after so many years of war, so many years of stockpiling nuclear weapons, and so many bad decisions from everyone in positions of power on all sides of the conflict.

But the more I think about Vault Tec being the ones to destroy the world... I dunno, the more I... kinda like it? In a fashion. Sort of. As you can see by the remaining length of this fucking rant, I have Complicated Feelings about this!

See, Fallout has never exactly been subtle with its themes, but the show drops all pretense, and openly embraces a staunchly (and honestly, extremely surprising) anti-capitalist narrative.

The Fallout show pulls a Garth Marenghi unironically, and it honestly... kinda works?

Vault Tec were the ones to drop the bombs because they wanted to recreate the world in their image of a capitalist "paradise" free of any and all government regulation. The inevitable end result of the "great game" of capitalism is the literal end of the world, and the capitalists will do everything they can to destroy any attempts to rebuild any civilization not explicitly under their direct control. Because that's what capitalists do: they pursue an ultimately self-destructive goal that is not, and never was, sustainable, and will destroy everything else in their pursuit of endless, infinite, exponential growth, forever. Nothing else matters except Make Number Line Go Up.

Side note: it is extremely funny to me that Bethesda - a hollow shell of greed and excess who have been releasing the same game with different wallpapers over and over again since Oblivion - and Amazon - which is fucking Amazon - bankrolled a show where the villains are greedy capitalists who explicitly destroyed the world because of fiduciary duty to the shareholders. Like... guys, you do realize you two are Vault Tec in this scenario, right?

Ah well. That's capitalist realism for ya.

Anyway, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes that Vault Tec were the ones to drop the bombs.

HOWEVER.

Maybe this is just me being a cynical, drunken asshole here, but... it feels like this was a decision that was made, not because it was the best way to take the narrative, but instead as a means of enforcing the Status Quo of Bethesda Fallout.

See, the thing I liked about the west coast Fallout games was that it showed a world ravaged by the apocalypse, but it also showed that world beginning to heal. 200 years after The End, and civilization was returning. It was a natural evolution of things, emphasizing the post part of "post-apocalypse." It showed us a world that really sucked a lot of the time... but also gave us a small sliver of hope that, no matter what nightmares existed after The End, things could - and would - get better, so long as we put in the work to make it better. It was a world that showed us that nothing was ever so broken that it couldn't be repaired. We just had to fucking EARN that happy ending.

Bethesda Fallout, on the other hand, is just Wacky Wasteland Adventure Time. They are not interested in showing a world evolving or changing or growing, they just want a blasted hellscape that looks like it was freshly nuked yesterday. Why? Because that's the surface-level Aesthetic of Fallout. That is what is recognizable. And Aesthetic is all they know how to do. That's the mother fucking Brand.

Doing something different would risk changing the Brand, and if that kind of change happens, then it's no longer easily marketable. So they just keep with what's familiar: freshly irradiated hellscapes, caps as currency, makeshift weapons, psychotic raiders with no purpose or goals beyond Fuck You, and more of the fucking Brotherhood of Steel. It's all the stuff we remember, so we can point at the screen and go "I recognize that!" instead of allowing the setting to evolve and creating something new.

And that's what annoys me the most. Because even though Vault Tec destroying the world in 2077 makes a certain amount of sense, it also feels like it only exists as a means of artificially enforcing the status quo of the setting. Which means that nothing will ever matter in Fallout ever again. It doesn't matter what happens, or what changes in the future, or who wins the next ideological conflict between the same factions that keep reappearing over and over again like radroaches. Because whenever something strays too far from the established setting, Vault Tec (or, more accurately, Bethesda) is just going to nuke it again, like what happened to Shady Sands.

And, y'know, Shady Sands getting nuked like that really does rankle. Not because I ever had any attachment to the NCR, but because destroying it in the way that they did just felt so fucking lazy. If they wanted to get rid of the NCR, there were easily half a dozen other things they could've done that would've made far more sense. The NCR was a fantastically corrupt government, making the same mistakes as the same governments that (up until the show) were responsible for destroying the world. California was running out of food and clean drinking water because of gross negligence and mismanagement, public unrest was high because of excessive taxation and the "stop tolls" of corrupt border guards shaking down people, and both the military and bureaucracy of the NCR was spread fucking paper-thin, due to their policies of violent imperialist expansionism trying to take far more territory than they could reasonably hold, far more quickly than they could ever manage.

And did any of that matter? No. Not at all. Pursuing any of those plot threads would've required the writers to actually come up with some new ideas. So, instead, it was destroyed because of a cryogenically frozen Vault Tec middle manager with family problems. It was such a fucking lazy solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place. It felt like the Fallout equivalent of "Somehow, Palpatine has returned."

That's why this show annoys me so much. Because this show that exists without subtlety or subtext, is telling us, to our face:

Don't hope for a better future, because it will never come. The world of Fallout is a destroyed, irradiated hellscape, entirely devoid of hope, and it will never, ever change, ever again.

Because that's the Fallout Brand, and that's what fucking sells.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

You know what makes Taylor’s mental health imagery worse. Is that she has/had friends that suffer with it. Openly and publicly. She has peers whose whole platform is about mental health support. Same goes for addiction issues.

She genuinely couldn’t get more disrespectful.

(Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Joe Alywn, Britney Spears, Emma Stone, Cara Delevingne, Ryan Reynolds, Sophie Turner)

Yes.... I really just can't believe she would do this. And I forgot to even get into how disrespectful it is to represent taking medication for mental illness as something that is scary or edgy like how she does in the music video.

Mystifying medication like that only adds to the stigma people face for needing medication in the first place.

And you mention Cara. I feel extra bad for her because Swift starting distancing herself from Cara the minute she was having a public mental health crisis... as if the friendship didn't mean anything to Swift anymore once the optics of it would affect her painstakingly perfect image.

I just can't imagine living like that, where it's fine to throw away your friends if they start having "too many" issues

Just the sheer lack of empathy on display is a lot to take in...

I had never really thought about it like this before because Swift has never been so blatant about her disrespect before

but I really feel like I've been bamboozled into supporting an..... asshole.

[psychicreadsgirl]

Hi! Hope you are doing well!!❤️❤️ would you be interested in doing a reading on Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds? They seem like Hollywood’s IT couple but some of the jokes he makes about her are so disrespectful 💀

Hi ! Thanks! Hope you're doing fine too.

I sense that Ryan has a bit of a controlling side in the marriage and his anger/temper can be kind of bad sometimes. He recognizes that he can have temper problems and I do see him occasionally taking steps to stop his anger tantrums, but it can be difficult for him to do that.

Blake is more docile and more obedient in this marriage. She looks up to Ryan and respects his decisions, almost blindly sometimes. She tends to internalize a lot of her frustrations/stress/unhappiness or brush them off, so this can cause strain in the marriage at times. It can seem like she doesn't have much of a voice/say in the marriage; I feel she doesn't realize this yet until someone points that out to her.

Blake is quite dedicated to supporting the family and the kids. She loves her kids and likes having a big family. I do sense that she has help when looking after the kids as she has trouble managing all of them at the same time and as she and Ryan have the financial means to do so. There's a possibility that she and Ryan may have more kids. Ryan seems to very much like more and more kids..

I do feel that in a few years or maybe even earlier, Blake and Ryan will start to fight more and will have more conflict. Blake will feel more suffocated in the marriage with Ryan's controlling behaviour. I don't sense that Ryan would be physically abusive but he does control her in different ways like her image in public/how she dresses/her career etc. Ryan would feel threatened if Blake were to have a more successful career; he would prefer Blake to be a full-time homemaker or not as well-known as him. I feel that Blake would want to do more towards her career as the kids get older and that would lead to the couple's marriage being shakier.

They may have some chances of getting divorced this life, more likely when the kids are a bit older.

[allthingsfangirl101]

Frumpy First Date–Joe Keery

I walked onto set, busy looking at my phone. I gasped when I bumped into someone. I looked up to see a laughing Joe.

"Careful," he teased. "Walking while texting is awfully dangerous."

"I'm a talented girl," I winked. My face didn't burn until I walked away.

Joe and I have had a kinda awkward back-and-forth. It was randomly flirtatious. The first time I met him was at our table reading. Ryan Reynolds introduced us as best friends that were secretly in love. Instead of being awkward or uncomfortable about it, Joe and I laughed it off. We made jokes constantly about it. That led to more jokes and eventually to us flirting back and forth.

We've been filming for about two months now and mine and Joe's relationship got stronger. It got to the point where the flirting wasn't a joke anymore. It actually stopped being a joke after our first week of filming.

After going back to my trailer and changing, I walked into the costume trailer and dropped off the costume I wore today. The door opened just as I was finishing putting things away.

"These give me a headache," Joe sighed as he took off his prop glasses and tossed them onto the counter next to me.

"They make you look cute," I blurted out. My eyes widened. I snapped my mouth shut and looked up at Joe's face. He was smiling softly at me. I opened and closed my mouth, struggling to take it back.

"I'm glad you think that," Joe said, not an ounce of teasing in his voice, "because I wear glasses in real life."

"I've never seen you in them," I mumbled, still embarrassed by the last time I spoke.

"I wear my contacts while filming," Joe shrugged. "I usually take them out as soon as I get home."

"I didn't know that," I said, barely audible.

"I know," he chuckled. "I'm still a work-in-progress. Unlike you."

"Unlike me?"

"You always looked drop-dead beautiful," he smirked. My face started burning all over again.

"Not always," I said, trying to return my face to its normal color.

"Yeah right," he scoffed.

"I'm not!" I giggled. "As soon as I get home, I change into a pair of spanks and an oversized shirt. Then I pull my hair up into a messy bun at the top of my head. I look like a homeless gremlin."

"Shut up," Joe laughed.

"It's true! I only dress nicely when there's a risk of paparazzi finding me. If not, I'm frumpy."

"You're not going to convince me," he smirked. "You could never be frumpy, Y/N. Not even if you tried."

I just rolled my eyes and started walking out of the costume trailer. My heart slightly sank as I headed to my trailer. I walked inside and sat on the couch. As much as I loved these flirtatious exchanges with Joe, they still broke my heart.

Joe Keery would never go for me.

I jumped when someone knocked on my trailer. I looked up right as Joe walked in.

"I had an idea," he started but stopped when he saw me. "You okay?"

My heart clenched as Joe instantly moved to my side. He sat down and moved like he was going to grab my hand but didn't.

"I'm fine," I said, clearing my throat. "What was your idea?"

"Do you have any plans tonight?" He asked, still not fully believing that I was fine.

"No," I shrugged. "Not really. Why?"

"Let's go on a date," he said, sounding fairly confident and calm.

"What?" I stuttered.

"But not a normal date," he continued. "Let's do a frumpy date."

"Frumpy?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "Usually, when people go on dates, they try extra hard to look nice. Let's do the opposite."

"Meaning we try easily to look frumpy?"

"Exactly!"

I looked away, unable to hide my insecurities. "Hey," he whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut when Joe reached over and grabbed my hand. "What's wrong?"

I opened my mouth to say I was fine, but Joe continued, "And don't say you're fine. I know you better than you think I do, Y/N. Talk to me."

I looked down and saw Joe's hand gently holding mine. He gave me a reassuring squeeze, trying to get me to open up.

"Why me?" I mumbled.

"What?" Joe stuttered. He started to say more but I cut him off.

"Why do you want to be with me? I'm a nobody, Joe. Everyone knows you. Nobody knows me."

"I know you," Joe whispered, scooting closer to me. "And that's all that matters, Y/N. Fame and popularity mean nothing to me. What does mean something is how I connect to that person. And I'd say we connect pretty well."

I turned to him to object, to tell him that all I would do would destroy his career and his reputation. Before I could get a word out, Joe leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. He didn't push things. He didn't try and speed things up. Joe was simply showing me how he felt.

He broke the kiss before I could show him how I felt. He looked into my eyes and I could tell he was holding his breath, waiting for my response.

"You still want to go on that frumpy first date?" I asked, my voice soft.

"It'd be a first date for the history books," Joe smirked.

                                * * * * *

Even though we agreed it was a "frumpy" date and we wouldn't worry about how we looked, I worried. A lot.

I know we agreed to it, but I couldn't help but worry that he might not like that his idea was to have a frumpy first date. I looked at my reflection, overanalyzing everything about my outfit.

I was wearing my usual pair of after-work spanks and one of my oversized flannels. Usually, when I wore this outfit, I wore a sports bra underneath and left my flannel open. Not tonight. Tonight, my flannel was buttoned up.

"You went back on our deal," Joe said the second I opened the door.

"What do you mean?" I panicked. I gasped when Joe pulled grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest.

"You look way too beautiful to be considered 'frumpy'," he teased.

This time, I was the one to initiate the kiss. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. He didn't hesitate to kiss me unlike I had for our first kiss. Joe wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips moved hungrily in sync, neither one of us holding back anymore.

We broke apart when someone cleared their throat. I looked over my shoulder to see the pizza guy awkwardly standing there.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said, clearing his throat. "But I got your pizza."

"Thank you," I said, pulling out of Joe's embrace.

I grabbed the tip I set out after I ordered off the table and handed it to him. He nodded as he took it and quickly left. The second he got in his car, Joe and I broke. We laughed as we walked into my place.

Joe and I spent the night eating pizza and watching a movie. We weren't really paying attention to it. We started to but eventually turned our attention to each other. We talked over the movie, catching each other up on our lives. Soon, we moved on.

He pulled me onto his lap, his hands massaging my hips as our lips moved in sync. He started unbuttoning my flannel as I rocked my hips against his. Once it was open, he laid us down.

"Joe," I gasped, breaking the kiss.

"I'm sorry," he started to stutter. "I shouldn't have jumped you like that. I wasn't trying to force myself on you, Y/N. I just. . .  I couldn't stop myself. I've been into you from the first moment that Ryan introduced us."

"Joe," I gently interrupted him. "I wasn't stopping you because I didn't want to continue."

"Oh?"

"I was stopping to say something."

"What were you wanting to say?" Joe asked, slightly shifting his weight to the side.

"My bed is more comfortable than the couch," I said under my breath. "And not as itchy."

[ordinaryschmuck]

Good things that happened today:

Made great headway with talking about another theme in The Owl House.

I got to pet a dog that looked like the one I once had. They were precious.

I didn't have to stay to take out thirteen delivery orders that not all of our drivers picked up. That was someone else's problem, and I'm fine with that given the hot, shitty day I had. A day so shitty, that I honestly struggled on thinking THREE good things that happened in it. On the bright side, three is the minimum number for these lists, so...

There was at least THREE good things that happened today...Yes, I'm counting that. You don't KNOW how stressful of a day it's been today...

Oh, and I guess a Deadpool post I made, praising Ryan Reynolds' performance of the character blew up over night. That's another good thing as other people see what makes the character so fun to watch. Hooray for me.

Good things about myself:

I do my best at work every day, and that's all that matters.

I make good conversation with the customers and try my best to give them a good time as I deposit their groceries into their trunks. Just because I'm suffering, that doesn't mean they should suffer with me.

I've been gaining a better sense of patience and restraint with people. I COULD HAVE yelled at idiots at work having this whole conversation about whether cookies count as bread or what is and isn't a sandwich or salad...but I didn't. I kept it in most of the day.

I have great visualization for art and at times picture how to draw something of my current skill level.

I am good at writing group chemistry and knowing what characters would bounce off better with other characters...At least I hope so. Some of you read those Team Action posts I made. Those have good chemistry, right?

[sloshed-cinema]

Rango (2011)

Las Vegas was a mistake. Where films like Chinatown or Who Framed Roger Rabbit tackle the dark side of the development of Los Angeles in some form or other, Rango is in a way a similar approach to the monument of hubris and human folly in the desert that is Sin City. When would-be thespian and all-around chameleon out of his habitat Rango stumbles into a frontier town called Dirt, he quickly learns they’ve got a water crisis. And as is tradition with this sort of matter, of course the politicians are never the true controlling or corrupting hand in the mix. Never! There are plenty of colorful characters and Wild West archetypes to explore, from the feisty gunslinging love interest holding out on selling one final land deed to the mayor to the gaggle of saloon ne’er-do-wells to the old dude with the bristly mustache who sounds like a rusty door hinge. As a chameleon, if you will, Rango slips effortfully between various Wild West caricatures himself as the need fits him, easily digging his own grave deeper and deeper only to escape at the last second. Similarly, a heavy leaning on the visual stylings of John Ford Westerns makes for fun action set pieces where the filmmakers combine gambits we’re familiar with and this specific world. An endless pursuit of stolen water is replete with low-horizon images of our heroes on roadrunner-back as they traverse Monument Valley. Bats with Gatling guns and musical accompaniment dive-bomb our fleeing caravan after a bottle of water has been retrieved, and make airplane noises when they crash and explode. This race to and from becomes, if you will, Mad Max: Furry Road.

The approach to character design in this is equal parts clever and gleefully horrifying. The bristle-mustached feller is an owl, so his pointed nose is his upper beak, but his lower beak? What happened to it? Where did it go? Why does that bar wench frog lady have giant frog tits? Why does the mayor’s turtle face remind me so much of the bad guy from A Bug’s Life? There’s also a very perplexing Goofy and Pluto situation. Most bird characters in the film are sapient, and yet they ride roadrunners because it’s a fun gag. Our villain predators—Rattlesnake Jake and the hawk—are both more animalistic in form, but only one of the two speaks. Interestingly, both have fun metal mods: the hawk has a metallic beak tip, and Rattlesnake Jake’s tail is a Gatling gun. Why are some insects actual insects, and others part of this town? The answer is “because a character designer thought of a sick-ass way to make a snaggle-toothed scorpion dude for one scene so it made the cut” and fuck it, that’s FINE.

In a year when meta is so exhaustingly oversaturated (oh boy, I can't wait for more Deadpool killmenow), it’s wild to see something so self-aware in an earlier form. Opening with commentary from our adorable narrator mariachi burrowing owls who ferry us through the film, the story wastes no time in letting us know it knows what it is. Rango literally breathes condensation on the fourth wall to draw a rectangle and put himself in a frame, which is both the screen and the glass of his habitat from which he is about to escape. He will break the fourth wall, if you will. Along the way he encounters briefly “himself” in a nod to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and the Spirit of the West is a gruff Clint Eastwood type who also draws that same rectangle. I mean, it’s no Ryan Reynolds making asinine pop culture references which will be irrelevant 15 seconds after release, but it’s something.

THE RULES

SIP

Someone says 'quest' or 'water'.

The mariachi owls show up in a scene.

Direct camera address.

Isla Fisher's "Western" accent gets very dicey.

BIG DRINK

Humans appear in a scene.

Someone gets pricked by cactus thorns.

The hawk shows up.

[transpool]

You’ve honest to god changed my perspective on Deadpool like ‘awe yes he can be a lil pookie cause rowie likes him. It’s fine.’ I’ve also been meaning to ask on Ryan reynolds deadpool, watched a vid on the guy n I’d like ur thoughts lol

YAAAAY i will try and add my thoughts on mcu deadpool but they might not be goodrn sorry:p

main reason i dislike ryan reynolds deadpool is just because i think his voice is too high (and also hes straight....?????) which is literally just a me thing. like i just cant watch it because the deadpool in my head has a fucked up voice. but (mind you - i never watched the movie, so anything i say is just me and i dont rentirely know how accurate it is!) i think his movies focused more on the comedic aspects of his character rather than the tragic aspects? which i think are incredibly interesting and actually make his character as great(ehhh. debatable. writers really screw him over) as it is. his struggle with his mortality and morality is such a big part of his character and the complexity of it all!!! but i know deadpool doesnt really get too far into his morality until later in the comics but. idk. it really does feel like he is just.a purely comedic and or badass character to marvel or marvel fanboys when he is so interesting !!

[destinyc1020]

https://www.tumblr.com/destinyc1020/739166642904481792/yes-i-did-post-that-long-ass-message-to-other?source=share same anon here ;) i am back again, i wasn't saying that tom isnt successful. He is. In the blockbuster, fun, popcorn movies. which is awesome because he can afford to take a year break when he needs it which other actors dont have the luxury of, that being said, anytime he tries to be serious with his acting, yes he's got the talent ofc, he knocks it out of the park with TDATT, cherry, TCR, wonderful but none of those are critically acclaimed, nor did they make enough noise. they werent successful nor liked (idk about TDATT but talking about cherry and TCR). I Love spiderman but i feel like marvel and uncharted r not the movies he should be doing right. hes got FA biopic awesome, i hope it does well and i cant wait but u know what i mean it feels like he need critical acclaimed projects to climb that award contender ladder. and maybe CCA is the first step, i hope but i do feel like some people r more likely to be nominated than others is these type of prestigious awards, they tend to go for the actors who already have critical acclaim under their belt do u know what i mean.

tbh i dont want him to be like chris hemsworth or ryan reynolds who r only known for certain typed of characters.

same anon here ;) i am back again, i wasn't saying that tom isnt successful.

Hi there again...

You were the one who said: "I just want Tom to be successful".... Which, to me, implies that you think he's not. 🤷🏾‍♀️

He is. In the blockbuster, fun, popcorn movies. which is awesome because he can afford to take a year break when he needs it which other actors dont have the luxury of

So, Tom is successful, but just not in the way that YOU want him to be.... Got it...

that being said, anytime he tries to be serious with his acting, yes he's got the talent ofc, he knocks it out of the park with TDATT, cherry, TCR, wonderful but none of those are critically acclaimed, nor did they make enough noise. they werent successful nor liked (idk about TDATT but talking about cherry and TCR).

Actually, TDATT received some pretty good reviews, and was generally well-liked by people who saw it. The subject matter though was a bit "heavy", so it just might not be everyone's cup of tea. Same way "Saltburn" isn't everyone's cup of tea either.

Also, keep in mind that TDATT came out around the time of a massive pandemic as well, so there may have been other things on people's minds during that time.

Cherry was in conversation for FYC, and even for Oscars around the awards season. You remember all of the Zoom interviews Tom was doing for "Cherry" during his filming in Atlanta for NWH??

And TCR was actually VERY well-liked by audiences! Just look at what audience members said about it on RT.

TCR even has a 7.7 score rating on IMDB.com, which, for IMDB, that's actually pretty GOOD.

it feels like he need critical acclaimed projects to climb that award contender ladder. and maybe CCA is the first step, i hope but i do feel like some people r more likely to be nominated than others is these type of prestigious awards, they tend to go for the actors who already have critical acclaim under their belt do u know what i mean.

I think fans just need to be PATIENT. Do you know that some actors out here don't get any award recognition for MANY years? Everyone has their season and time to shine. Just because Tom hasn't received a bunch of award nominations or wins NOW in his career, it doesn't mean that he NEVER will. Fans need to stick with Tom (or any of your faves) through the ups AND downs, through the good times AND the bad, and through the lulls in their career, or whatever.

Personally? I think Tom is doing just fine, and it seems like he's doing exactly what he wants to do? He's also very well liked and respected in Hollywood, so there's no way he hasn't had any offers. He might just not like what he's being offered? He might be staying VERY selective in what he chooses also. Even he said himself that he's going to be more selective going forward about his film choices.

tbh i dont want him to be like chris hemsworth or ryan reynolds who r only known for certain typed of characters.

Believe me, I don't think ANYONE puts Tom in the same category as Ryan Reynolds or Chris Hemsworth.

And even if Tom had a career like Chris or Ryan, so what?? Who cares?? Those two are still very successful, and everyone knows their names. Why do people want to push Tom into some type of box and into being only a certain type of actor? 🤔 I don't get it... Not every actor wants to do super heavy, deep, and serious roles. Some like some light-hearted roles. And after what Tom has said about how TCR affected his mental and emotional health, who knows?....maybe Tom himself might choose to do more lighter roles in the future. We never know. 🤷🏾‍♀️

All I care about is whether or not TOM is happy. And as long as TOM is happy and fulfilled in his work, then I don't need anything else honestly.

Now, if he starts saying that HE would like to do more serious roles, or more roles with critical acclaim, THEN I'll start to feel for him, or hope that he gets the fulfilling roles that he always wants. But Tom hasn't been saying that lol. He doesn't seem unhappy with what he's being offered.