#i might do this for the other aspects of my gender

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

auDHDgender (pronounce aw-dee-aych-dee gender) - a gender that is in any way defined/influenced by someone's autism and adhd, linked to someone's autism and adhd, and/or someone's idea/perception of gender as a concept is in any way altered by their autism and adhd. only for use by people who have BOTH autism AND adhd.

flag description: seven equally sized lines going across horizontally (top to bottom: gray, darkish yellow-green [more green than yellow], light yellow-green [more green than yellow], blue-gray-green, light green, teal, and royal purple), with a black infinity sign overlayed over the light green and teal, and a black butterfly made with one infinity sign wing overlayed over the gray, darkish yellow-green, light yellow-green, and blue-gray-green in such a way that it looks like it's coming out of the black infinity sign below it

the flag is a combination of the ADHDgender (a gender that is influenced/etc by their adhd) flag and the autigender (a gender that is influenced/etc by their autism) flag, bc im comorbid and why would i use two flags that are super different when i could combine them into one and make my own?

created/coined by: me

image desc: the same as above except stretched to normal flag size

[uncanny-tranny]

At this point, gender nonconformity is about what the person says their experience is.

If a woman with a beard or a man with lipstick and a mustache says they're gender nonconforming, then they are! If a woman with short hair or a man with long hair says they aren't, they aren't! And that's not even getting into the awesome nonbinary, abinary, genderqueer, intersex, and general genderfuckery that may both be and not be conforming.

So much of what is even considered gender conforming or gender nonconforming is based on a world of exclusion. When we start defining one's conformity with whether they fit into white cishetero perisex standards or not, we play into the idea that there's only a very narrow window of what is considered worthy of time and thought.

[nerdnag]

I keep finding it so uncomfortable when people differentiate between women and men in my surroundings, and assume that some people are men and some are women. It's uncomfortable both because what if someone doesn't identify with whatever gender they may look like, and because why is it an important distinction in the first place?

Granted, there may be circumstances where it's relevant, but for context let me list some examples of what I mean. These are examples that I've experienced in the recent weeks:

When playing a game that requires two teams, someone suggested that the women should play against the men, and then when this ended up being the case, regular jokes were being made related to gender whenever someone made a bad play

At lunch, someone said "looks like we're all women here today"

Whenever someone who presents as a man has done something stupid or whatever (whether a celebrity or just a regular person), it's common for people to tie that stupidity to the fact that the person is "a man". This seems like a tactic that's sometimes used in order to gain social benefit with women. For example, ending a story about something stupid someone did by going, "ugh, men"

It's also common to hear people mention someone's gender in a story they're telling as though the gender is relevant to the story, when usually it really isn't relevant at all. For example, "... and then she did X and Y, which isn't strange at all because she's a woman, and then he said Z ..."

I know these are innocent things people do and say, and they likely aren't even aware that it can be uncomfortable for some people. Maybe for people who strongly identify as either gender it can even be affirming to have people say these things. I just wish I knew a good way to say that it's making me uncomfortable without having it become a big thing or making them think I'm overreacting

[callixton]

i do have my sexuality pretty firmly figured out at this stage it just irks me sometimes bc it doesn’t fit as neatly into the box i’ve assigned it & i like when things in my brain r tidy so i don’t have to rehash them 500 times……

[dykethevvitch]

That post has got me thinking about how the queer community treats butches in general. And studs too, but I ofc have more knowledge, and are more comfortable talking about, the butch experience.

It's either unthinkable to be attracted to a butch, or butches exist only as an object of desire. Neither is accurate, as both ignore the butch's relationship to sexuality and desire. You don't have to like butches or be sexually attracted to us, but you should not treat us as if we are inherently undesirable. And on the flipslide, we are often seen as objects of desire. Not a person who is attractive, but a sexual object who exists for the gratification of a partner.

Gays are soo past upholding gender roles, except for butches. Because don't butches want to be big strong chivalrous men? Don't all butches do physical labor and work on cars and stuff? This ignores that fact that while butches are masculine, and often emulate masculine gender roles, we, the same as cis men, should not be expected to perform these gender roles. And not to mention how this isolates disabled butches who can't uphold these gender roles.

And these are sentiments I have seen expressed by gay people, often gay people who say they don't believe in sexualization and gender roles. Being butch can be so isolating, because as a gender nonconforming person I'm obviously Othered by heterosexual society. But the gay community is not immune to their own anti-butch sentiments. There's a problem with toxic masculinity in butch communities, and while butches are not immune to upholding it, I think it's important to consider how we're pushed in that direction, in the same was cis men are.

In short: butches are people, and while we may choose to uphold certain traditional pillars of masculinity, we are not defined by our masculinity, and our relationship to masculinity is our own to decide.

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[oflgtfol]

like i havent faced blatant sexism in physics yet but there is something incredibly alienating about being like one out of five women in a class of 50 people. my grades have been slipping and my passion is basically nonexistent now and it’s due to Mental Illness and that alone is enough to push me away from grad school but there is this constant undercurrent of always worrying about how my male classmates and professors view me and my inability to do anything; like are the judging me because im a girl? am i reinforcing their biases, even subconsciously, that women are too stupid, shallow, disinterested in science? it’s actively ruining my mental health even more, worrying about the way my downward spiral might appear to other people, not just as a reflection of myself but also as a reflection of greater social disparities. it’s to the point where i want to let people know that hey im like at rock bottom mentally right now, please dont judge me for this, please dont look at this as anything other than me burning my own life down around me, not even because its a cry for help, but just a cry for patience

[angelltheninth]

Genshin Men + Babygirl, Girlboss, Girlfailure

Pairing: Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Gorou, Thoma, Childe, Dottore, Pantalone, Neuvillette, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Zhongli x Reader

Tags: fluff, kissing, cuddles, teasing, being protective, very much a joke but not really

A/N: I believe anyone of any gender can be these things and so can all my blorbos.

BABYGIRL - Diluc, Gorou, Thoma, Tighnari, Neuvillete

Despite him denying it when you call him cute he blushes so hard at any kind of praise you throw his way. How could you not want to compliment him when he's being so sweet to you all the time and makes you smile all the time?

He might be very capable of many things but he is cute when he does them, no matter what he does, so you kiss him for doing good and making you happy. You know it makes him feel happy too, he even has to hide his face sometimes to escape some of your teasing.

GIRLBOSS - Dottore, Pantalone, Wriothesley

Will take things in his own hands because he doesn't trust many others to do the same job as well. You can help him of course but you have be ready for him to check in on you a lot, for your own health too.

Knows when to stop working and tell others to do the same. If you don't want to he will talk you into taking a break with him, even if he has to literally hold you in his lap and do everything in his power to distract you. The work will get done, just make sure to follow his lead.

GIRLFAILURE - Kaeya, Itto, Childe, Zhongli

It doesn't matter how much he has to fall he always gets back up and you support him... but you also think he's cute when he gets mad about it. You want to assist him, to make sure he achieves his goal, to protect him.

Encouragement goes a long way for him but he really likes it when you do things together, just the two of you. It makes you think that he's faking some aspects of his failure just to spend more time with you. But then he makes very dumb mistakes and the doubt goes away fast.

[starryknight-tarot]

𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼?

pile 1 -- > pile 2 pile 3 -- > pile 4

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello beautiful souls✨ Today we will be looking into what kind of people your future friends are and maybe a little more into your dynamic together. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath, and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Credit to @benkeibear for the divider and @thuminnoo on instagram.

Pile 1 Cards: Temperance, Three of Swords, Six of Swords, Strength, Three of Pentacles, Nine of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Ace of Cups rx Back of the Deck: Five of Pentacles

The energy for this pile has a lot of layers to it. While I was shuffling, I heard the word "first" pretty clearly, so your future friends might be the first time you can really call someone a friend or simply your first time having friends at all . I feel like all of your future friends are going to have very big personalities. If you are an introvert, you are going to feel like you were adopted by a bunch of extroverts. I am actually getting Mean Girls vibes from this pile, like in a school setting, all your friends would be the talk of the school. The cool kids so to speak lol. And the energy you are going to feel with them also feels pretty complicated. In friendships, you can have good days where everyone is getting along and having fun, and then other day when things can feel more awkward and even a little uncomfortable, your friend group isn't going to be safe from this. Although, you may feel like you may feel like you don't truly fit in with them. I am hearing "Imposter Syndrome" so with your future friends, you may feel like you don't deserve to be around them. But I am getting that your future friends REALLY don't want you to feel this way. In fact, I feel like there may be a moment in your friendship where all this doubt in yourself comes to the surface and you and your friends have a deep conversation about. I am getting for some of you that really don't resonate with this self doubt energy, it might be the other way around where one of your future friends isn't too confident in their friendship with you. Also, no matter what gender you identify as, your future friends are going to help you embrace your feminine energy. For some specific groups of yall, your friends are going to spark your interest in makeup. Some of yall are going to be making new friends at the gym or on a run, something physical. Like I am seeing the visual of someone running a marathon and chatting it up with the person next to them. I think for my pile 1's, yall need to start having a clear idea of what you want and need in a friend. Because if you just let anyone that shows you kindness, you might end up in a distasteful situation. If you don't feel like you and another person have a connection, it's time to cut ties with that person. But with the Page of Pentacles, I feel like you guys will actually find friends that will feel like manifested them into existence. If you have a manifestation journal, it may help to dedicate a page for qualities you want in a friend and spirit is saying that this will bring you closer to these friends. I also keep hearing "They aren't perfect" so even if you are manifesting them, they may not be the perfect person but they are going to be there for you. Also one last message for my introverts, you may want to try and put yourself out there to find friends.

Advice Cards:

Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspects of your life

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

Be adventurous. It's time to go for it!

A powerful dream will guide you

Your heart is a center of institute intelligence. Listen to it!

You are greater than your story

Channeled Songs: (I laughed when I got Please Me but some of yall may have a message there lol)

Pile 2 Cards: Ace of Swords, Nine of Wands rx, King of Swords, The Tower rx, Ten of Wands rx, The Fool, The Emperor, Two of Pentacles Back of the Deck: Three of Swords

So I was picking up a few different types of energies for this pile, I feel like a lot of people may pick this pile so there is a lot of different people involved or each one of your friends is going to be very different personalities, take it how it resonates. One of the first things I was picking up was that your friends are gonna be labeled as the "weird kids" lol. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, they just might be the type to be labeled as nerds or dorks or whatever but they are just have really silly energy. Specifically, someone in your group is gonna be quite eccentric and unique but I think you will love that about them. This eccentric friend has lovely energy. I keep hearing ENFP or they may might just be really into MBTI. I am also picking up on someone that has a really regal vibe to them? Maybe, they feel like they were royalty in their past life or they could come from wealth. But I am getting such a sweet vibe from this person. This friend group seems like a bunch of softies and I am living for it. I was also picking up that you might have to go through some really shitty friends before you get to the friends that we are currently looking into. Spirit said "those people were never truly your friends" so some people who you thought were your friends may actually be pieces of shit and never even truly saw you as a friend. I am hearing for someone of you that these might be your current friends, of course that isn't going to be for everyone but you are seeing some signs from your current friends that they don't truly respect you as a person, or that they are leave you out of stuff, those people aren't your friends. But with the Fool, I feel like you guys are really going to start a new journey in terms of friends so there are going to be quite a few people who are coming into your life. I heard "They are going to turn your life upside down" so you may start seeing the world differently after meeting them. I do feel like you and your future friends may not always see eye to eye and may have a falling out, I'm not too sure why, it seems like a lot of misunderstandings may happen between yall. These misunderstand may cause yall to have prolonged times apart for a little while. But I do think you will come back together. I'm also not too sure this energy is for everyone or perhaps that keeping this message in mind may cause these misunderstands to be avoided. Spirit is saying "Keep an open mind" so you may need to just hear each other. I am also getting for this pile that your group of friends may be really big, like a lot of people that are gonna hang around you.

Advice Cards:

Hold your life from a sacred viewpoint. Witness the universal picture

Relax and feel good. You deserve more joy!

Your are greater than your story

Pay attention to your breathing, it's reflecting your life

Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy

You are wiser than you think

You are a natural teacher

Channeled Songs:

Pile 3 Cards: Three of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, The Emperor rx, Six of Pentacles rx, Ten of Pentacles, The Fool rx, Ten of Swords Back of the Deck: Four of Cups

Excuse me for my language, but I fucking love this pile so much, your future friends have top tier energy. These friends might be people from your childhood that you rekindle with or just friends you have known for a while. Actually I am also getting that for some of you, you may meet them very suddenly and become friends very fast in your adult life, but I'm not really getting an in between. For some of you, I feel like you are already around your future friends. They seem to be more of the rebellious vibes, I am hearing Lost Boys energy. Your future friends may be strong activists and are very vocal about what is right and wrong. Your friends seems like the type of people that really stand out in the crowd. Probably for a very specific group of you, I feel like you may meet in an art class or just somewhere surrounded by art. And your future friends are SO creative and have such big imaginations. For some of you, you are going to make a career with these future friends and I am hearing starting a Youtube channel or something like that. Whatever it is, it seems like it will be really successful because of the chemistry you and your friends share. Especially with all the pentacles in this pile, yall might make major bank together. For a lot of you, these friends are going to be your soul family. For some of you, there is going to be someone in your friend group that takes up a sort of mother role and they are going to help heal you through a lot of childhood wounds that you may not have even realized you had. I heard for some of you, they are going to get you out more and get you out of a hermit period for you. There is a very small group of you that I feel like you will very suddenly stop seeing each other or perhaps this friendship will have been going on for years and some of you will want to expand your friendship to other people and not talk as much, I am getting maybe two people. A little larger group of you may just drift part after time and find new friends, but you guys would never forget each other and always hold so much love for each other. Yall story seems like it could be made into a story lol. But even then, I won't let that stop you from enjoying your friends with these people and trying your best to make it last since yall do seem really compatible. For real it's so beautiful I almost want to cry. But there is a group of you that I see growing old together basically. Yall will still be causing trouble till yall's hairs grey and you are chilling in the nursing homes lol.

Advice Cards: Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspect of your life

Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy

Be aware of your inner messages

A powerful dream will guide you

The key is in the application. Practice!

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

Channeled Songs:

Pile 4 Cards: King of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Four of Pentacles rx, Five of Swords, Six of Pentacles rx, Nine of Swords, The Tower, The Fool rx Back of the Deck: Six of Wands

This pile is very interesting indeed. So one of the first things I was picking up was that you may marry one of your future friends and it is going to be like "Marrying my best friend" kind of moments. Which is real cute for yall. I was also getting that your friend group might be pretty well off, like they all grew up in a pretty wealthy area or something like that. I am kind of picking up on those people that grew up rich but don't really even realize it until you point it out. But they seem like might spoil you a little, take you around to see things you may have never seen without them. I am also hearing some of you may be the rich friend. I am also getting that the way you guys will meet will be through shared struggle. Like I am getting that you and your future friends will go though an experience that not many will have gone through and while you will walk away with a lot of trouble from this experience, you will also walk away with new friendships because not many have gone through what yall have gone through. I am getting that you will have around three or four friends that you are particularly close with. With the mixture of the Tower and the Five of Swords, I feel like you are going to have a big falling out with these people. Although since we have the Six of Wands at the back of the deck, I feel this story will have a very satisfying ending. I just suddenly saw people meeting at a very tropical setting. It could just be the beach but for some of you, this feels like a different country and you will meet up there and it will feel so nice. I am also getting that instead of this falling out energy, your future friends are going to have A LOT of trauma and they may feel like they don't deserve your friendship, something along those lines. Your future friends have very shy energy. They don't seem to trust a lot of people but you managed to gain their trust. Although I feel like one of your friends is very shy and the another is very bold and confident, but even this person seems to have some inner struggles as well. I'm sorry because I feel like there is part of a puzzle that your future friends don't really want to share here. Perhaps your story with them is just something they really want you to experience without any expectations. They seem to have really good intentions with you.

Advice Cards:

Release all attachments that do not serve you

Take a lighter approach and smile about all facets in your life. A smile reflects a heart at peace You are ready to receive your fortune. Be miracle minded!

The key is in the application. Practice! You are intuitively gifted. Trust you guidance

Pay attention to the issue that time plays in your life right now

Channeled Songs:

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

[princessjojo-x]

Venus Synastry

ignore the crossed out parts, that’s only for me & my chart

💝 venus conjunct mars - usually mars takes on the masculine role & is the one that makes the first move whilst venus acts more feminine, passive & seductive. the couple become sexual with each other quite quickly due to the guaranteed sexual attraction. however, they may get under each others skin & mars isn’t afraid to bite back.

💝 venus conjunct sun - sun will naturally & easily attract venus. venus seeks attention & validation from sun. in my opinion & from my experience, the chemistry wasn’t strong enough to warrant any sort of longing for him; plus the connection didn’t feel that sexual or romantic. it might be bc it reverses traditional gender roles, with the man’s feminine side amplified through his venus & the woman’s masculinity amplified through her sun. i feel this is a very “all or nothing” rxship. the rxship felt too demanding & i felt quite suffocated at times. however, these rxship always take on the qualities of the sign the conjunction is in. in my case it was in aries which explains why i felt that way.

💝 venus conjunct venus - partners express love in the same way as one another. but sometimes it’s too much of the same energy causing partners to clash over their more challenging venus traits. this aspect works best if the venus signs aren’t in detriment or malefic.

💝 venus conjunct jupiter - partners experience joy when together. this aspect gives an element of luck financially so partners may gain financial abundance & material gain. partners are prone to a lack of discipline & overindulgence when together (overeating, overspending, laziness, partying, etc).

💝 venus conjunct chiron - can indicate a trauma bond which is why it’s so hard for partners to to cut the cord & completely forget each other & the impact they had on them.

💝 venus opposite venus - powerful physical attraction & undeniable passion between both however mind games are possible. partners give very subtle hints & vibes to each other but there’s always one partner who is more oblivious than the other. oppositions in astrology often represent polarity, two energies in tension, pulling in opposite directions. partners have different love styles, needs, values, desires & rxship expectations. this difference can lead to conflict & misunderstandings. but this difference can also create a sense of intrigue & fascination for one another. partners are drawn to each other’s differences & find they complement each other well. the difference pushes both partners out of their comfort zones.

💝 venus square venus - unresolved trauma from both parties taint the rxship. both partners may have very different ways of showing affection & different tastes. (music, lifestyles, slightly trivial things). (aquarius/leo venus)

💝 venus square mars - this can be an awkward aspect in friendships bc there’s a bizarre sexual & touchy tension that neither partners are comfortable with. mars can come off a little too strong & possessive with venus. this behaviour from mars makes venus feel repulsed & venus may distance themselves. not to mention, harsh aspects (square/opposite) between venus & mars creates strong s3xual attraction but creates obstacles & challenges within rxship too. unfavourable aspects between venus & mars is a sign of a rxship possibly turning very toxic if the parties involved do not have the emotional intelligence & maturity needed to work through their differences. (leo/aquarius/scorpio venus or mars)

💝 venus conjunct pluto - both partners feel intense emotions for eachother even when they're not together. pluto sometimes wants to control venus into only looking & thinking abt them. (sag venus)

💝 venus opposite pluto - instability (gemini venus/ scorpio pluto)

💝 venus square pluto - creates a lot of sexual tension between the two. pluto becomes very possessive & jealous over venus, even if they’re not together, pluto will act like venus is theirs. however, pluto tends to be very lowkey abt their feelings it’s rare anyone will notice. (aqua/leo pluto or virgo/pisc venus)

💝 venus square eros - lack of common ground (leo/aqua eros or scorpio/taurus venus)

💝 venus conjunct jupiter - healthy, happy rxship

💝 venus conjunct north node - difficulty sustaining longevity (gemini venus or taurus nn)

💝 venus square saturn - painful aspect. saturn feels like they’re babysitting venus. venus feels misunderstood & isn’t able to express themselves. saturn restricts venus from being able to express any kind of loving venus like nature. (virgo/pisces venus or leo/aquarius saturn)

💝 venus conjunct lilith - possibly a secretive rxship that feels so taboo & probably is. the attraction lilith feels for venus is so deep yet toxic. lilith is repulsed yet can't keep their eyes off venus. obsession is definitely possible & venus could feel trapped really fast. there is so much sexual tension & attraction that making this synastry quite unforgettable.

💝 venus square ascendant - asc is not just how you look but how you act too, so venus dislikes how asc acts & carries themselves. partners have different social preferences or lifestyles which causes tension or discomfort. partners sweep problems under the carpet to maintain harmony but overtime this turns into hate & resentment. if asc is a man & venus is a woman, this aspect will cause her to view him as not manly enough. for example, she might not like how he handles conflict, doesnt see him as ambitious enough, etc. (leo/aquarius asc or libra/aries venus)

💝 venus trine saturn - found in many long term rxships (libra/aquarius venus or capricorn/virgo saturn)

💝 venus square neptune - doubts from venus preventing trust (leo/aquarius neptune or taurus/scorpio venus)

💝 venus conjunct juno - juno views venus as perfection personified (leo venus or taurus juno)

💝 venus square saturn - a very binding aspects regardless of how much partners love or hate one another. however, venus is going to feel frozen & very misunderstood. venus is restricted from expressing lighthearted affection & is giving negative undertones from saturn. (leo/aquarius saturn of virgo/pisces venus)

[transmutationisms]

from a non-academic, i find parts of comphet to be useful (heterosexuality becomes compulsory when you’re raised in a heterosexual society) but the foundations . suck. what do we do with theories like this, that have touched on a truth but also carry a lot of garbage? can we separate the truth from the founder?

i have to be slightly pedantic and say that i don't think rich's essay is an example of this phenomenon. my central issue with her formulation is its bioessentialist assumptions about human sex and therefore also sexuality. if i say "capitalism includes economic mechanisms that enforce heterosexual behaviour and exclude other possibilities", then what i mean by "heterosexual" is plainly not the same as what rich means—and for this reason i would seldom formulate the statement this way, without clarifying that i am talking about the enforcement of heterosexuality as a part of the creation and defence of sex/gender categories themselves. so rich and i do not actually agree on the very fundamental premises of this paper! rich was not the first or only person to point out that economic mechanisms as well as resultant social norms enforce heterosexual pairings; i actually don't even think the essay does a very clear job of interrogating the relationship between labour, economy, and the creation of sex/gender; she means something different and essentialist to what i mean by sex and sexuality; and i think her proposed responses to the phenomenon she identifies as 'compulsory heterosexuality' are uninteresting because they mainly propose psychological answers to a problem arising from conditions of political economy. so, in regards to this specific paper, i am actually totally comfortable just saying that it's not a useful formulation, and i don't feel a need to rescue elements of it.

in general, i do know what you're talking about, and i think there's a false dichotomy here: as though we must either discard an idea entirely if it has elements we dislike, or we accept it on the condition that we can plausibly claim these elements and their author are irrelevant. these are not comprehensive options. instead, i would posit that every theory, hypothesis, or idea is laden with context, including values held and assumptions made by their progenitors. the point is not to find a mythical 'objective' truth unburdened by human bias or mistakes; this is impossible. instead, i think we need to take seriously the elements of an idea that we object to. why are they there? what sorts of assumptions or arguments motivate them, and are those actually separable from whatever we like in the idea? if so, can we be clear about which aspects of the theory are still useful or applicable, and where it is that the objectionable elements arise? and if we can identify these points, then what might we propose instead? this is all much more useful, imo, than either waiting for a perfect morally unimpeachable theory or trying to 'accept' a theory without grappling with its origins (political, social, intellectual).

a recent example that you might find interesting as a kind of case study is j lorand matory's book the fetish revisited, which argues that the 'fetish' concept in freud's and marx's work drew from their respective understandings of afro-atlantic gods. in other words, when marx said capitalists "fetishise" commodities or freud spoke about sexual "fetishism", they were each claiming that viewing an object as agentive, meaning-laden in itself (ie, devoid of the context of human meaning-making as a social and political activity) was comparable to 'primitive' and delusory religious practices.

matory's point here isn't that we should reject marx's entire contribution to political economy because he was racist, nor is it that we can somehow accept parts of what marx said by just excising any racist bits. rather, matory asks us to grapple seriously with the role that marx's anthropologically inflected racism plays in his ideas, and what limitations it imposes on them. why is it that marx could identify the commodity as being discursively abstracted and 'fetishised', but did not apply this understanding to other ideas and objects in a consistent way? and how is his understanding of this process of 'fetishisation' shaped by his beliefs about afro-atlantic peoples, and their 'intelligence' or civilisational achievements in comparison to northwestern europeans'? by this critique matory is able to nuance the fetish concept, and to argue that marx's formulation of it was both reductive and inconsistently applied (analogously to how freud viewed only some sexuality as 'fetishistic'). it is true in some sense that capital and the commodity are reified and abstracted in a manner comparable to the creation of a metaphysical entity, but what we get from matory is both a better, more nuanced understanding of this process of meaning-making (incl. a challenge to the racist idea of afro-atlantic gods as simply a result of inferior intelligence or cultural development), and the critical point that if this is fetishism, then we must understand a lot more human discourse and activity as hinging on fetishisation.

the answer of what we do with the shitty or poorly formulated parts of a theory won't always be the same, obviously; this is a dialogue we probably need to have (and then have again) every time we evaluate an idea or theory. but i hope this gives you some jumping-off points to consider, and an idea of what it might look like to grapple with ideas as things inherently shaped by people—and our biases and assumptions and failings—without assuming that means we can or should just discard them any time those failings show through. the point is not to waste time trying to find something objective, but to understand the subjective in its context and with its strengths and limitations, and then to decide from there what use we can or should make of it.

[fallingdownhell]

Hello! Can I request some slightly possessive Zhongli, Tighnari, Cyno, Kaveh, Tartaglia, and Xiao? Like, maybe someone’s flirting with the reader, and the boys start to become slightly possessive in a non-toxic way.

I do love your writing, and I would really love it if you could write one (or all) of my favorite Genshin boys in this scenario!

I do love me some possessive men sometimes:)

Characters Included: Tighnari; Cyno; Kaveh; Xiao

Content: gender neutral reader; mentions of jealousy; possessive behaviour but not extreme; slight teasing im Xiao's part

Word count: 2,2k words

Everyone, please enjoy the meal<3

Tighnari

He knew that you could handle yourself..

There was no need for him to interviene in every little conversation you had with another person. He wasn't THAT jealous.

Then again, this situation probably didn't count as a normal conversation in the first place.

He has kept a close eye on you for the past 15 minutes, observing you and that researcher you were talking to.

As it so happened, there were a couple researchers coming to Gandharva Ville for a few weeks to gain some deeper insights on ther fields of study, but this particular man seemed to have more of an interest in you than his academic education.

While he was obviously flirting with you, yoir entire body language told Tighnari everything he needed to know, that you were not interested in him in the slightest.

Which, of course you wouldn't be, since you were his partner already. And he always made sure to keep you happy with him, that you didn't lack anything. He prides himself on taking good care of his partner.

Yet, that researcher just didn't seem to get your hints and Tighnari could tell that you were starting to feel uncomfortable. At least, if the way your bidy was facing away from the man was any indication to that. If not, then your searching eyes were indeed a decicive clue.

As he was still debating wether he should interviene or not, the guy suddenly grabbed you by the wrist and tried pulling you along with him. You resisted of course, but that was also the moment Tighnari snapped into action.

He quickly, but sternly, made his way over to the two of you. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pulling you away feom the guy and into himself.

You tensed up for a second at the unexpected touch but quickly relaxed as you realized who it was.

Tighnari kept his arms wrapped around you while resting his chin on your shoulder, his cold gaze fixed at the researcher in front of him.

"Is there a problem here? Do you have any questions to my partner?", Tighnari asked him, his voice sounded friendly, but there was an underlying layer of sheer coldness.

"N-no.. I.. gotta go now.", the guy mumbled as he walked away swiftly, not looking back one. Tighnari kept watching him until he was out of sight and turned to look at you as he felt one of your hands reach up to pet his ears.

"Are you alright?", he asked, trying to ignore his tail swaying behind him from side to side. He enjoyed your touch but didn't want to sucumb to it out in public like that.

"Yeah, I am. Thank you for saving me there.", you smiled up at him, turning in his arms to place a soft kiss to his cheek.

At this, Tighnari cleared his throat, trying to will his tail to stop with the intense swaying, while a blush also started to appear on his face.

"That's good then.."

For the rest of the day, he kept you close to him to ensure that no other guys would try to come up and talk to you.

He might not get jealous often, but if you let him act on his jealousy, he can get quite protective of you. Not that you mind that, though..

Cyno

Being the General Mahamatra meant that he would be gone on missions often, some of them even taking a couple of days where he would not return home.

Though you weren't always happy with that particular aspect of his job, you knew what you got yourself into when you decided to date him and you've come to terms with it at this point.

At least he makes an effort not to go out on missions when there's an important date coming up, like birthdays or annyversaries.

But it can get lonely from time to time, bot for you and for him. Every time youbwere apart, you would yearn for the other, praying that he would return sooner rather than later.

And for once, the prayers were answered. A job that Cyno thought might take him a week was solved within only three days, meaning that he could return to you much sooner than anticipated.

He was excited about this turn of events. As soon as he came back to the Academiya, he quickly organized things so that he got the remaining four days off, planing to surprise you with the great news.

As he was on his way to your place, excited to see you again, he halted when he hears a sudden commotion on Treasures Street, noticing people whispering among themselves.

At first he wanted to ignore it, seeing as he was officially on leave, but quickly found that he couldn't. So, he made his way to where the heart of the commotion was, and boy was he glad that he did not ignore it.

He was surprised when he saw you there in the middle of the street, but even more surprised, an furious, about the guy who was clearly pushing himself onto you.

You were looking extremely uncomfortable as the guy kept getting closer to you, leaning his face close to yours. You kept trying to escape him but he would always chase after you, not leaving you alone.

"Come on, baby~ one kiss won't hurt anyone. Your guy doesn't even have to know!"

"No! Leave me alone already!", you yelled, trying to slap hin away but the guy caught your hand mid-air.

But before he could do anything else, you were suddenly pulled out of his grasp and pulled into another person. A huge wave of relief washed over you as you glanced back and saw Cyno there. You quickly got around and hid behind him, shielding yourself from this creep.

"Uhh.. uhm.. G-general Mahamatra.. what-!"

"What do you think you were doing with my partner there? Trying to force yourself on them?"

"N-no! Not at all!", the guy yelled, awkwardly laughing before quickly bailing out of the situation, running with his tail between his legs.

Cyno let out a deep breath then turned around to you. "Are you alright?"

"I think so.", so nodded, still shaken up by what just happened. Cyno understood that. He placed an arm protectively around your waist as he guided you to your home, keeping an eye on his surroundings at all times.

He made sure that nothing was out of the ordinary as he got you home safely where he proceeded to take care of you, getting you a glass of water and telling you to relax for now.

It might not have been the best start ibto his four day break, but it could only get better from here on out..

Kaveh

He wasn't usually one to get jealous easily. He really wasn't..

So why was it, that it ticked him off so much that you were enjoying your conversation with this other man?

Maybe it was the fact that you were SUPPOSED to be on a date right now!

After all, he just won the Interdarshan Championship, so he invited you out for a nice dinner to treat you, his beautiful partner.

But, somehow, you became engrossed in conversation with your waiter. This guy has been standing by your table for at least a few minutes now, after he was done taking your orders.

It ticked Kaveh off, how you laighed at what he said. How the guy was blatantly ignoring him and how he was obviously flirting with you!

Did you not notice? Or did you not mind this?

But you should mind, right?

Because, Kaveh is still your boyfriend, after all. So you should pay attention to him!

But he said nothing. Instead, he simply continued to stare daggers at you, but mostly this waiter. He just wanted him gone already, this guy was ruining the date.

An exasperated sigh left Kaveh's lips, which finally caught your attention.

"Are you alright, Kaveh? Not feeling well?", you asked, worry present in your voice.

It made him blush slightly, feeling cared for by you.

He was about to answer you, telling you not to worry about him. But his gaze shifted to the waiter, still standing at your table, and the guy had the nerve to throw a nasty glare at Kaveh!

That's when an idea for petty revenge came into Kaveh's head..

Instead of simply answering your question, he took your hand into his, bringing you close to his face and placing a chaste kiss to the back of your hand.

"I'm fine, my love. No need to worry about me. I'm just happy to spend time with you."

You blush at Kaveh's words but let him act on his antics, since you're already used to it at this point.

Too caught up in what your boyfriend was doing right now, you didn't notice the waiter leaving without another word. But Kaveh did, and he smirked as he watched the guy storm off into the kitchen.

For the rest of the night, he acted like that, offering up his affection at any chance that presented itself to him.

And after you were done eating and on your way out, he placed a hand around you hip, guiding you out the crowded building. While doing so, he threw a glance back, seeing your waiter staring at the two of you.

And Kaveh just couldn't hold back the triumphant smirk he gave this guy before he leaned down and captured your lips in a short kiss.

He felt the stares of the guy but paid them no mind anymore. He already won this battle, and he would fight a thousand more if he had to, knowing that he would imerge victorious every time because he has already won over your heart...

Xiao

Knowing that you were his significant other still felt like a dream to him. One he never thought he deserved to live.

But life thaught him different, especially with you by his side.

He never felt so comfortable with another person by his side, he never thought he wouldn't mind feeling vulnerable, but he didn't care for that so long as it was you.

You thaught him many different things, and he appreciates you for that. Even more so because you helped hin learn things about himself and how to become in touch with his own feelings and emotions.

One thing that Xiao realized during all of this... was that he was feeling quite possessive over you. Or maybe, protective would be the better word.

For example, he always had a strange feeling when he saw you talking to other people, especially other men. It's not that he didn't want you to, he didn't want to lock you up or anything. He was just concerned for your saftey. You never know who the other person was and what they might do to you. He just wanted to look out for you.

But he also knew that he couldn't always act upon those feelings, so he kept them down. But he still followed you around from time to time, only to make sure that you were safe throughout your day.

Currenrtly, he was just finishing up dealing with a group of monsters near the harbor. He looked around the area close by, trying to find any leads on other monster activity, but couldn't find any, so he assumed this problem to be done.

Thinking about you again, he decided to check up on you. His body vanished in a mist of green as he imerged only a few seconds later again at Wangshuu Inn, his first destination in trying to find you.

Luckily, you were here, apparently on your way up towards the balcony he often resided on, but you were apparently in conversation with another guy.

Xiao couldn't quite make out what the conversation was about, but he didn't like it. This guy was standing way too close to you, smiling at you like he wanted something from you.

When looking at you, he noticed the slight hint of uncomfortableness in your eyes, yet you tried to remain nice and friendly with this man.

"Like I said, I already have a boyfriend, so-!"

"That Yaksha guy? Come on, if you wanna lie to me, at least think of something better! Now come on, one date won't hurt anybody, right?", the guy smirked as he leaned down closer to you.

That's where Xiao's patience snapped. He quickly teleported right between you guys, making the dude jump away from you at his sudden appearance.

"Is there a problem here? Do you have business with my partner?" His look amd tone of voice was stern, focused on this man in front of him.

"Wait.. you're really..?", the guy glanced between you and Xiao, before bolting away, not daring to say another word.

Xiao looked after him before turning around to you. "Are you alright?"

You nodded, smirking at him. "Were you jealous there?"

Immediately, his face turned red as he turned around, trying to hide his expression from you.

"D-dont you dare-! I-I'm not-!"

"Cute!", you say while still giggling. And as much as Xiao was embarrassed and wanted to be mad at you, he couldn't.

Although he did wish that you wouldn't tease him like that all the time..

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

ATSV Fun Fact!! - Mumbattan Cultural Details

Gayatri & Inspector Singh follow the Sikh Religion

Have you ever heard of Punjabi Sikhs?

If you don't know - Sikhism is a religion that originates in northern India, specifically Punjab.

The turban Gayatri's father wears - along with his last name 'Singh' implies that her father is most likely a Punjabi Sikh.

I notice this the first time watching ATSV and was like 'wow that's so cool :)'

It only hit me today that 'Oh wait I don't think a lot of people know about this very-specific, rarely-mentioned religion maybe i should say something,'

And because I LOVE yelling about world culture, LET'S GO!!!

[a SHORT essay where I explain the basics of Sikhism, a religion built on equality and justice. And details in The Singhs design, and exactly why Sikh Representation matters]

So What's Sikhism about?

Often mistaken for Muslims - Sikhs are actually a non-Abrahamic religion, with 20 million followers worldwide.

But even with so many visible practicing members, most people know very very little about this beautiful religion!

Sikhs believe in equality and unity - and defending the oppressed. Their book of faith, The Guru Granth Sahib Ji, is called 'Guru' for a reason - Sikhs see the book as not just a code of conduct, but as a living, breathing teacher for every practicioner;

From Wikipedia on Guru Granth Sahib: Sikhs since then [1708] have accepted the Guru Granth Sahib, the sacred scripture, as their eternal-living guru, as the embodiment of the ten Sikh Gurus, the highest religious and spiritual guide for Sikhs. It plays a central role in guiding the Sikh's way of life.

The Guru Granth Sahib is the spiritual leader of Sikhism, and it's treated as such.

That's why in Gurdwaras - their place of worship - it's treated as such, being clothed and held in ornate structure, constantly fanned throughout it's readings (the fan you can see in the left picture).

They believe that by following the Guru Granth Sahib Ji, they can cultivate compassion, peace, and harmony in their communities, while diminishing 'Mara' - concepts like hatred or violence.

Sikhs believe that every Sikh should revere themselves as champions of unity. And because of this many Sikhs have the same last name -

Kaur for women (Meaning Princess) and Singh for men (Meaning Lion).

Having the same last name also does away with the Indian caste system, making it another point of equality.

In ATSV Gayatri last name is Singh. However from my understanding, her name would most likely be Gayatri Kaur in reality.

I think they kept her last name as Singh as a deliberate choice to keep her initials as GS, like Gwen Stacy.

So is Gayatri Sikh?

Maybe - most likely.

But we can't be sure. Mainly because of her hair.

Gayatri has a short bob haircut, and while that might not seem like it matters, it does!

In Sikhism there are the '5K's - different aspects Sikhs wear to show their faith.

Notice the first one?

'Kesh' is the practice of leaving ones hair completely uncut. That's why you may see a lot of Sikh men with long, long beards!

And hence, the large turbans.

It's done as respect for God's creation - leaving it unaltered.

[Fun Fact! - Rastafarians, a Jamaican religion, also don't cut their hair for this reason. Think Bob Marley. Rastas call God - Jah]

So, Gayatri having short hair means she doesn't keep Kesh.

However, Sikh is a super accepting and open religion, and it's main focus is on acceptance of difference, not conformity - so she could entirely follow the faith without doing all of any of the 5Ks.

Also, if you're curious about the steel sword K - Kirpan, yes that's a thing!

Sikhs of all genders are encouraged to carry a small ceremonial blade with them.

Instead it's a symbol of the commitment to fighting for what's right - and defending those who cannot defend themselves.

A Kirpan can ONLY be used to defend the life of yourself or others, which is incredibly rare.

Why is this all so rad, cool, and important?

If you haven't noticed by now, Sikhism is a religion driven by justice. Not just in theory, but in really life as well.

That's why you may see many Sikh police officers and politicians, even here in the West. Most of them wearing the emblem on their turbans.

In fact, Canada has SO MANY Sikh politicians, that in 2019 they elected 18 of them.

For centuries Sikhs have been dedicated to justice, and developing systems of support, whether that be political involvement or feeding those in need.

The biggest Gurdwara (a place of Sikh worship) The Golden Temple feeds over 100,000 people A DAY.

For FREE.

It's a practice called Langar. A communal meal anyone can enjoy. And of course, Langar food is vegetarian.

Making Inspector Singh a Sikh - and showing him saving people and being warm to his daughter on screen is great representation for a community so often overlooked! Despite the fact they are over 20 million practicing Sikhs.

It's a great detail for Indian and Punjabi representation in specific. It accurate shows their beliefs and commitment towards helping others, no matter the cost.

And from what we can tell, this choice came later in development. We know this because ALL of his concept art shows him with a turban, not keeping Kesh.

It seems like someone later on down the line said 'Wait if his name is Singh I think he's Sikh and if he's Sikh then we're gonna have to redesign him and make that obvious oops'.

That, dear audience, is why you always have an Anthropologist in the writing room. Or some amateur anthropologist like me :)

-------------

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really enjoyed writing it!! Sikhism is one of my favorite religions and if you have never heard anything from the Guru Granth Sahib I HIGHLY recommend it, it's very optimistic and compassionate. Sikhnet(.)com is also a great resource!

I have no idea if this will pique anyone's interest, but I hardly ever see Sikhs reflected in media and I know many many people may confuse them with Muslim, especially since many women Sikhs keep kesh and cover their hair as well.

But if you ever wanted to know the difference, here it is! If you read this far, thank you SO MUCH. And if you're a Sikh and reading this, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

As usual, here's a photo of Hobie for your travels.

BYE.

[cardentist]

Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

.

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

[easays]

To Ragh; or, On Fatness

Hi! Below is an actual play mini-essay. These are written as part of a personal writing practice of thinking critically about actual play. I hope you find this reading engaging and know that all I write reflects my own interpretations rather than as an official representation/canonization of these shows. Keep reading for my interpretation of Ragh Barkrock's fatness as part of queer representation in Dimension20.

Ragh Barkrock may be one of the most beloved NPCs in Dimension20. It would be easy for Ragh, a bloodrush player good enough to potentially play professionally, to be presented as hypermasculine. In fact, the freshmen year art for Ragh, when he was antagonist rather than beloved ally, showed him in a muscular, inverted Dorito shaped body typical of a jock.

He's, obviously, built, and his cut jaw and cheekbones only bolster that image. As Ragh comes to terms with being gay at the end of Fantasy High, his countenance changes. When we see him again, the new art reflects a chubbier, happier Ragh.

The show aligning weight gain with acceptance and happiness already works against prevailing stereotypes that use weight loss as a quick metaphor for improving yourself and being the "real you." Moreover, connecting Ragh's acceptance of his sexuality with what seems like a larger comfort in his own body is a strong indictment of hypermasculine gay culture. As Gabriel Arana writes, gay men "must reconcile their sense of masculinity with their failure to conform to its heterosexuality." Not doing so has negative mental health outcomes, as Arana points out, and contributes to a culture that devalues fat queer people (see the popular "no fats, no femmes, no Asians" that often is touted in masculine gay subculture).

All of this, I think, is why Ragh's art for Junior Year was particularly impactful for me as a fat queer person. If being a gay man (or half-Orc, in Ragh's case) means having to situate your life in relationship to failing compulsory masculinity, then it seems there is an inherent queer aspect to embracing, celebrating, and showcasing a beloved NPC in an explicitly fat and happy body.

FHJY Ragh art by @caitmayart

Ragh is still strong and he is still fat. His body radiates a commitment to the power of fat bodies to exist in spaces they are often violently unwelcome in, such as gyms. Existing in gyms and sports spaces as fat people means dealing the "impossible standard that rejects nearly all of us" and upholds a diet culture rooted in impossible, Eurocentric and colonial body standards. In TTRPGS or actual plays, there is a unique opportunity to think about how bodies might exist in worlds different from ours, to imagine bodyminds as otherwise. However, as queer critics like Paul Preciado have noted, sci-fi and fantasy representations of cyborgs and other transformative bodies often lean into "fixing" disabled people or moving gender nonconforming bodies more easily towards technologies upholding a normative standard rather than questioning the standard all together.

Spyre is a world that deals with similar issues to ours, even without direct one-to-one correlations, so it, too, is a place where the narrative and artistic choices should be examined in how it helps us interpolate the world the audience resides in. From the Applebees cultish adherence to a deity-based nationalism to the various representations of parental neglect and abuse and every side story in-between, Dimension20's flagship show does not shy away from difficult realities even when recasting them through fantasy. Ragh, as a half-orc gay son of a disabled single mother, then, I see the arc his fat body goes through as meaningful and intertwined with his self-acceptance and queerness. He moves away from the toxic masculinity engineered into his blood rush team to instead pursue coalition comraderie with his friends to the point that he and his mother end up joining a communal living situation with those friends and their parents. Ragh's body expands as his family does, as his ties to community do, and to me, the gift of his fatness is the invitation to expansion that it holds out to us as viewers.

[lasirenatarot]

{18+}What turns them ON about you?❤️‍🔥

Pick -a-card reading.

*intended for your specific person in mind, but can be used for future spouse if you modify the question. If traditional gender roles don’t apply to your situation convert the words to feminine&masculine energy.*

->Pile 1

{Brad and Angelina}

{cards that fell: king of fire; mirror; justice; the world;5 pentacles;ace of swords; 7wands; ace of swords;2 wands}

This pile is really interesting, this person loves earning you in a way, feeling emotionally $ubmi$$ive, like you have control over them in all aspects without even touching them.

You may be bossy,this is definitely a turn on for your person. Ironically you chose the Brad&Angelina pic, and the situation being painted with those cards is exactly Mr and Mrs energy.

They enjoy a push and pull dynamic. If you try to dominate them I feel like they would also enjoy it👀 (even if they seem sceptical at first).

Arguing may be a turn on of theirs, puni$hing them with your absence or other ways when they don’t act accordingly; (that includes the makeup $£x after.) May sound toxic for some, but they may be one of those people that start little arguments for the smallest things sometimes, on purpose, so you two can ‘make up’ and they can ‘apologise’ by being good and pleasing you however you want (you know how) after..

They like when you’re acting kinda bitchy & like you’re ‘the prize’ they need to earn, but the key here is to do everything in moderation and not be mean&rude 24/7.

Your confidence may be a turn on for them. When you’re seducing them on purpose and then pulling away &acting like they can’t have you..(yet), because they should work more and ‘be better’ to get your attention. Your person needs constant passion to feel stimulated.

->Pile 2

{Vincent and Monica}

Cards that fell: 2fire,the punishment,earth,the priestess, 9water,king of water, 9swords,10chalices,knave of chalices,9pentacles,2pentacles }

This person loves the fact that you seem to have no restraints around them, you are quite open emotionally, in tune with your emotional side and know how to balance it well. (earth sign moon/venus energy).

Getting dolled up for them is sth they would probably appreciate- nice dress, hair & makeup done..

It may be a turn on for them knowing only they can have you in ways other people cannot.(you can tell them some bs like ‘yOu’Re tHe bEst I eVer Had..’ etc😂😂 it doesn’t matter if it is actually true, it would make them feel like a God.)

Praising them may be a turn on as well, it would make them feel more dominant, more in their power. Letting them take the control in bed, as well as non-$€xu@l situation would also be a little turn on for them, again, it would make them feel appreciated.

Knowing they can be the person that is capable of fulfilling all your needs is something very important to them. This pile is heavy on the praise k/ink, they need to feel desired&needed.

When you attend to them & their feelings, have obvious feelings for them ( i feel like this is important to mention, they may have been in a relationship where they’ve felt unappreciated, unwanted, not desired enough by their previous partner. The partner might have used them in a way.)

$€xting and writing notes to keep the anticipation during the day when u’re not together may work on them.👀

->Pile 3

{Jane et Serge}

Cards that fell: the moon, justice, the tower, 8pentacles, 10wands, 8fire,6air, 4swords, the world, king of air, ace of fire, temperance }

It will be hard to explain this energy but bare with me:

This person probably likes what I like to call more « bright » women- women who are confident&feminine, such who love the spotlight and getting lots of attention. ( in my mind is this scene where Jessica Rabit where she performs..)

People who are sensual & confident but not arrogant may be just their type.

A situation where they can feel turned on by you is for example if (hypothetically speaking) you’re in a group setting with some ppl who do not like you, they are passive aggressive with you, but you choose not to reply with the same energy and remain kind&graceful.(they may feel the urge to protect you and stand up for you in such situations) When you act like a « damsel in distress » basically, and they can be your « savior »..

A turn on for them I feel like it would be a situation where you’re ‘feeling yourself’, for example if you’re dancing in the club and they happen to be there as well and see you doing that.. $educing them in public places where you can get caught (or public $\€x)

Another turn on for them would be for you to ‘put on a show’ for them (you can decide yourself how, ex. give them a lap dance or sth, beautiful lingerie, a special dress..). They probably like the concept of « femme fatale » type of women who can ‘turn their life’ around.

This may not resonate for all, but if you are from a different culture/country, this may also be a turn on for them.

Decks used: ‘$£xual magic’ oracle deck by Lo Scarabeo; ‘Manara’ €rotic tarot deck by Milo Manara/ Lo Scarabeo;

That was all from today’s PAC.

thank you for reading! Hope it resonated.💞 Don’t forget to follow for more.

-La Sirena.💋