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o-neillwith2ls · 3 years

Text

I've waited for this!

Original/Fanfiction: Fanfiction

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rating: PG/13

Warning/ Triggers: none

FYI: The dates coinside with the airing of the eposides, some are a couple of days off but its obvious which one htey are meant to be.

14 July 2000

Carter,

I don't want this to be some soppy letter. I'm not good at expressing what it is I feel inside. I didn't even know until it was almost too late, until I saw you on the other side of that forcefield.

But you already know. I saw it in your eyes, and I wonder how long you've known.

You're smart. You've probably known a long time.

I can't even finish writing it out of fear this will be found, and my selfish feelings will rip you from me.

I promised myself that I won't be the reason your life gets ruined.

So, I'll wait.

28 July 2000

I could have lost you, Sam.

No sooner had we admitted to even a little more than our respective roles, you were mourning the death of the man and symbiote the Tok'ra who once shared your body loved for over 100 years.

I have no way of…. No, I have no right to comfort you.

I could have lost you, Sam.

Why does it feel like I already did?

4 Aug 2000

Sam,

I have something I have to admit and I'm not sure you'll like it.

I mean you did. Like it that is, but I have to bear in mind that it was consequences-free and you knew it.

For a blissful twenty seconds we were consequence-free.

You were surprised, but you soon relaxed; you were in my arms, and we were just two people together.

I'm sorry if my admission embarrasses or makes life awkward for you.

Believe me, it was the last of my intentions. I would never want to make you feel that way.

But I was curious and truly a free agent, and when Daniel pointed out I could do whatever I wanted free of consequence, my first thought was of you.

I think I'm in deep, Carter.

1 September 2000

Thera,

I'm addressing this to you as the man that can. Before too much of the man who can't admit it occupies my mind.

During the last few weeks, I have never been as happy, as complete, then I am with you. You make me happy, not my lack of memories.

I would never be a complete or real person without you.

It meant the world to me that we found each other and shared ourselves with each other.

I am yours whatever my name is.

Jonah.

15 September 2000

I remember a certain Blond Captain once asking me if I died would I regret anything.

Oxygen deprived really gets you evaluating as well as frostbite.

Turns out my biggest regret now would be in not telling you how I feel.

I still can't, so I hope you know I want to show you through my actions.

You came for me, Sam.

I live, because of you.

26 Jan 2001

Withdrawal is hard.

But it took everything in me not to overpower you and just get it over with.

I think there would be some kind of relief to the act, but I don't care for the feeling of regret after. Knowing what I would have done to you.

I might crave you for the rest of my life.

But this is stronger.

I'll be stronger for you, Sam.

29 June 2001

I lost Teal’c.

I can almost see you rolling your eyes at me, trying to comfort me, and tell me it’s not down to me.

But it is.

And I'm scared.

I'm scared next time it might be just as easily you.

I am a liability to your life.

In more ways than one.

Find someone, Sam, who can love you, protect you, and keep you safe. Can do all the things I want to.

Because I can't be trusted to be with you.

10 July 2001

Okay, I didn't expect you to move on that quick.

Or has it been slow?

Have you been trying to get over whatever it is we had? Of course, you're not as emotionally invested in this as me.

You have options.

Everyone who meets you loves you.

And this alien guy, Orlin, sees you for all the beautiful and wonderful things you are, and he got share it with you.

I want to be happy that you're loved.

I wish – no I didn't wish it were me.

I feel so selfish. I didn't believe you at first and you had to let go of something you wanted. You were caught… between saving the world or your own butt, of course you chose the former.

You… you'd give this world your heart on a platter.

And you had to do it alone.

I'm sorry, Sam.

7 September 2001

I lost you. Again.

All my fears rolled into one.

And it wasn't out there in the big wide void of space.

They took you here! From outside your gym!

I remember when I heard that gunshot which killed Charlie.

And then the memory of that dread spread through my body that day… that same dread overtook me.

We found you in the nick of time.

I don't know what I would do if they took you away from me now.

Because I love you.

2 March 2002

I won't lie. Today was a good day.

It wasn't because I got to tease the cadets into believing I'm a terrifying Colonel, although that was pretty spectacular.

It was a good day, because you stood by my side, you were with me and, to them, we might as well have been equals in rank in their eyes. And, Sam, that was a great feeling.

I love making you smile and laugh. I love we have lots of in jokes which scared the pants off those kids. I love--all of it.

I wish I could tell you.

15 March 2002

I love it when you're all happy and smiling.

But, Samantha Carter, there is something which turns me on so much and that’s when you're rightly indignant and you march on and prove them wrong!

Not only do I love it, but it saved Teal’c's life today.

Never stop being you.

17 May 2002

You want me to talk. To acknowledge my pain somehow.

I wish I could. If only for you, Sam.

I don’t think I can't verbalise the way I feel for you, not even those three simple words ‘I love you’ covers it.

Daniel brought me back from a precipice. One, I was sure had no route of escape. Yet he talked me from the edge. Even when he lived on Abydos for a year, he was the reason I didn't jump.

He was so full of hope and faith, and those kids I lied for.

They deserved to live.

Just like my Charlie.

So, I protected them as best as I could.

I protected Daniel, as best as I could.

And I still failed him. Failed them.

For all I love you, everything I love, dies.

I can't lose you, Sam.

So, I'm letting you go first.

19 July 2002

"I know I said I was letting you go. But I can't. The Tok'ra which they gave me looked inside of me and saw what I would do to protect you, and I ended up being tortured without the Tok'ra the wimp, who ran at first sight of trouble. Clearly, he didn't learn enough.

I'd do it all again to save you.

23 August 2002

I hate that the ship was taken from under our noses.

I love that you willingly sacrifice yourself to save the planet. I love that you don't think of yourself, that you would carry out exactly what is needed of you. I love you for holding out with no weapons, no way out until I got to you.

For all I love all this about you.

Please don't do it again.

Don't sacrifice yourself for this world.

Nothing in this world is worth that much.

24 Jan 2003

Thank you for believing in me so much.

I never quite say it, but I'm glad you're my second. I don't think anyone would willingly put their lives in my hands like you do.

It speaks volumes of the kind of trust we have. You knew without evidence, even though you've seen what I'm capable of.

Just thanks.

7 February 2003

It's like it's an annual thing! They try to take you from me. Your head on my shoulders, my heart in my throat. I could do nothing to save you.

The thought of losing you now to some psychopathic lunatic of a snake--

Losing Daniel was hard. Almost losing Teal’c was painful.

Losing you would be unbearable.

14 March 2003

A lot has gone on lately.

Daniel has helped ascend Abydos.

It's a painful reminder of where we all started, how this all started. It’s hard knowing I won't see Skaara again. I won't see him grow or raise a family. I won't see any of those kids again, and yet, they aren't dead and gone.

They've ascended, and if they're anything like Daniel, they'll show them how it should be done. It'll be good to have good people up there.

And yet in all of that, I think Skaara was trying to set us up! It's a sad case of affairs when I can't hide how I feel for you from a kid inviting me to his wedding!

But you didn't seem disgusted, you just seemed distant from the idea of us being romantically linked, jumping to "friends". I suppose it's not so terrible being your friend, it has led me to the conclusion that you no longer care for me the way you once did.

That's okay.

I want you to live your life. You're amazing inside and out, any man would be lucky. It's a shame, that's all. I wanted it to be me.

16 Jan 2004

I know it's been a while since I've written anything.

I thought I had started to get over you. Turns out the minute you go missing, I go crazy!

And T told me when Colonel Maybourne and I were stranded off world, you despaired at the thought of never seeing me again.

And I hoped -- I hoped you still wanted me, like I wanted you, but when we found you--I don't think you did.

I have to give up now, but if you ever find these letters, know that I will always be there for you. I will always care for you, if you need me, I'll always be by your side.

30 January 2004

It's bittersweet when you finally took my advice and found someone away from all this.

I always hoped it would have been me, but as long as you're happy -- I'll be happy for you, because you deserve the best in life -- and that's definitely not me.

I hope this guy is that guy.

I hope he gives you all you deserve.

6 February 2004

It scares me when I lose you. I've said it so many times in these letters, but it doesn't make it any less true. So, when you went missing at the Alpha site, even dad didn't believe you could still be alive.

I'm surprised. I thought he knew you better, if anyone can keep going to the last millisecond it's you, Carter.

Can I tell you something? When we found you all bruised and broken, you asked me to sit with you. I sat beside you and gathered you for a hug. It was to reassure myself. that you were alive, and real. Selfishly, I knew it was one of the only places your boyfriend wouldn't find us. Because I wanted you to myself, just to be sure you were safe.

20 February 2004

I should be telling you to talk to your boyfriend about this.

Not the specifics, but the situation.

That your best friend is dead. and your boss almost died too. I should be saying to you he can help; he'll understand how rough it is on you.

But I couldn't deny you. Never could.

When you stood in front of me crying telling me you were glad I was okay.

It felt like so much was not said, and we didn't confirm or deny anything, and maybe this physical barrier of a having a boyfriend was enough to let me comfort you as a friend.

Just a little bit, just a hug a little, and why I lied to myself when I spent the night with you as a friend when I really wanted more but that’s not what I told myself.

That it’s nothing but professional concern.

You have a boyfriend after all.

18 March 2004

I have so much to tell you. So much I want to say.

When you ‘dropped by’, I knew.

And I stopped you. Because that line has been drawn and neither of us would cross it.

I worried you were saying it because my life would end soon and you felt as though you should admit it, after all there would be no consequences.

But I know that sort of love.

Admitting with no consequences only makes you regret having not said it sooner.

I want to die, knowing I haven't caused any sort of regrets for you.

If I go now, promise me you’ll love him with all of you.

That you will be happy.

And there are no regrets.

Comdo.

20 August 2004

Sam, I think this will be my last letter.

You asked me, as if … as if I could change your answer.

Don't you understand?

I don't want to change anything about you.

I want you to be happy. It's my only desire, my one wish for you to be.

The world could go down in flames, but as long as you were happy and safe then it would be okay.

It felt like you were looking for validation of your emotions, of your thoughts and feelings, like you had to be sure I didn't love you and I do but I can’t tell you!

But telling you to drop your relationship, to change your mind and pick me… is selfish and self-indulgent.

To believe I could be worth it for you and let you wait for something that might never happen!

I can't do that to you, Sam, because I love you.

I've already lost you! You’ve moved on without me. And there’s no way back.

But for you, I'd endure it all.

Because you're worth it.

08 March 2005

It feels like I cheated on you.

You're not mine to love, I know it.

I'm with a beautiful, free to love woman and I feel like I cheated on you.

I shouldn't even be thinking it, never mind writing it.

15 March 2005

You're lying asleep beside me, in my bed, completely naked.

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep.

I should want to sleep, but I don't want to.

And I don't want to miss a single second!

Eventually I'll succumb to a quiet slumber, and, in the morning, you'll wake, we'll repeat last night then we'll sleep.

Together.

You picked me.

And I got to tell you. I can finally say those three little words.

I love you!

So, for now, I'm savouring it.

Remembering each little detail and storing it in my heart.

Because I've waited for this, and it was worth the wait.

-------

"Hey Sam, I'm just popping out to the store because we're all out coke and beer--" He called out as he walked into the bedroom, and when he did stop suddenly to see her sitting in the middle of their bed surrounded by those pieces of paper he had recorded those letters on, and the shoe box that had been their home for years.

He looked at her and saw she was crying. For a moment, he was shocked. Too surprise to move. His voice and thoughts fought to be in sync.

Her voice was thick with suppressed emotions and she stammered in shock. "I'm sorry. I was looking for my tennis shoes when I found this under the bed. I only opened it to check if we hadn't missed throwing this out at our last move. But then I saw the letters--"

"Were all addressed to you." Jack said swallowing as he carefully sat on the bed trying not to crumple them. "So, I guess it's only fitting--"

"They're love letters!" She cried. "It's our love story. All of it, the messy, the tender, everything it's here."

Jack looked at her for a moment before he asked, "Is that okay?"

She nodded before she reached over the letters that were strewn over the bed, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and hugged him.

"I've never had a love letter before." She told him.

"Never?" He asked surprised.

Sam shook her head. "This -- this is so romantic!" She sputtered. "I love you, Jack." She eventually whispered before she pulled away. "You waited."

He looked at her and wiped away her tears. "Yeah." He said softly.

"Am I still worth it? The wait?" She asked him.

Jack smiled and was amazed again at her humility. "I don't regret a single second."

#fictober21 #fictober2021 #stargate sg1 #stargate sg-1 #samantha carter sg1 #jack o'neill #jack o neill #samantha carter #sam x jack

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spade-riddles · 3 years

Text

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

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drarryboosterclub · 3 years

Note

I'm sorry but I need a boost? I saw an ask from a previous anon and it mirrors so much of what I'm feeling.

The amount of excellent Drarry fics is both awesome and intimidating.

English isn't my first language and I don't live anywhere near Britain. Although I have written fics in English before, it was for a different Fandom and that was a long time ago. I have loved Drarry for more than a decade but I've never had the guts to write any Drarry fics because I am always afraid that my writing isn't good enough, that I'll mess up some tiny detail that I had missed in the books/canon or something like that, or that my plot has already been written before and I'm not being 'original'.

I have been attempting several @drarrymicrofic prompts and I had so much fun. It reminded me of why I loved writing, but I cannot write anything longer (or commit to a normal-length fic) before I get intimidated/self-conscious again.

My insecurities have convinced me that Drarry fics have a certain 'standard' that I'm never going to meet and that demotivates me.

Darling, do not ever apologize for needing a boost. Everyone needs a boost sometimes. That is what this blog is for!

I’m going to take this from a more personal response than I did with the anon ask you are referring to, because I’ve felt many of the same things that you have. I hope that it helps.

While English is my first language, I also have loved Drarry for more than a decade. And although a part of me thought that I would never have the guts to write anything, let alone anything good, I took the plunge this year and started to write. And it has been so worth it!

This community is one of the most supportive, loving communities that I have ever been a part of. Everyone wants to see you succeed, and are happy to help you on your journey. If you are unsure about details when referencing canon, someone will know the answer or help you find it. And if you are concerned about your English (you shouldn’t be, it’s brilliant!) betas can help you with that and any other editing that you need. As someone who both writes and betas, I promise you, betas love being able to help you! Your work is already unique and wonderful because you wrote it and it exists. Betas are there to simply smooth out any rough edges and help make sure that you are confident when you share it with everyone else.

Regarding your concern about being unoriginal—it’s not possible here. Fandom is made up of tropes, and you will always find people who want more of the same thing. Because they’re never really the same! You and I could be given the same prompt—like we do with microfics—or the same trope and what we come up with will always be uniquely our own.

Trust me. We want to see what you create!

I’ve read your contributions to @drarrymicrofic, love, and they are amazing! I am so excited to see what else you create, and to see how your style evolves as you venture into longer fics.

Have you joined either the @drarrymicrofic discord or the larger Drarry Discord server? Joining both of those and beginning to interact with others within our community is something that really helped me start to explore my writing and see what I’m capable of. Everyone there wants to see others succeed, and will help you along the way!

You do not need to reach a certain ‘standard’ in order to write, darling. You simply have to try, and whatever you create will be stunning. I am here for you if you ever need it, and so is the rest of the community. Please let me know if you would like an invite to either Discord server. We would love to have you!

#boost #creators supporting creators #drarryboosterclub #boost for isamijoo #positivity and love #encouragement

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littlemulattokitten · 3 years

Note

Is writing cathartic or stressful for you?

Both. Writing is a compulsion and a hobby.

I got into fanfic really young (somewhere between 9 and 11) and it turned into a way to channel my already-existing habit of maladaptive daydreaming. And then the under-developed OCD would kick in and I'd have to write.

Not being able to write for 3 years really...messed with my head. My primary outlet for my primary coping mechanism just...stopped being something I was capable of. I could still do the daydreaming, and I did, often, but when I'd try to purge the dreams from my head, I couldn't.

For a while, I couldn't even use dreaming to plot out or plan Diary. I was so over-stressed by the story and the pressure of the rewrite project that I could barely stand to think about it. Nevermind play with it. My safe-spaces became old fic ideas for fandoms I'm no longer active in that I never planned to type out anyway.

And the more stress I faced in my day to day, the more I wished I could purge those emotions into other things. But everytime I'd sit down to write, I'd just stare at the screen. Maybe edit a few words here and there. But writing new words...they wouldn't come.

In the 3 years I was away from fandom, the most words I ever wrote at one time was 157. It took over an hour. A blink of the words flowing and then they were gone again and I felt worse.

It wasn't until right before the move, when my former therapist and I were talking about how I usually coped with stress in less time-consuming situations, that I brought up my long lost compulsive-hobby.

She told me, in the most jolly, unconcerned, and certain tone: "Oh it'll come back. You know that right?"

I told her how I had written something almost everyday of my life since middle school. That words and blocks had never really happened for longer than a few weeks. That despite my best efforts, nothing had made the words come back. They were gone and so was a massively defining part of who I was as a person. I couldn't describe my hobbies to people without a disclaimer.

"I'm a writer! Well...I used to be. I haven't written much lately. There's hundreds or maybe thousands of strangers on the internet who would get an email alert if I updated a story. Sometimes they tell me they miss me. But I can barely log into those sites long enough to tell them I miss them, and me, too."

After the move, I slept for a month. I had to wait to set my computer back up until I got a new desk. So I didn't do anything but eat, sleep, and heal.

Then I could play on my computer again.

I opened all my WIP docs, Scrivener, all my spreadsheet for Diary. Chapter 30 of Diary was mostly written, but incomplete. It had stopped somewhere vaguely around Tom giving her the reward hug after she becomes a parselmouth. That's where it had stalled out and frozen for almost 3 full years.

I backtracked a few hundred words, started rephrasing things. Tweaking the way the emotions came off. I changed how they talked to each other and how Hermione thought about the situation.

And then I wrote how Tom was feeling. And I checked my notes. Tom wants to charm a hair accessory to fix her curls. Hairstyle insp in locked Pin board. And I remembered what I was doing with the story as a whole and I wrote.

Since that day, I've written just over 40,000 words in Diary alone.

So while I can be cute and say "I love writing it's so much fun" that's bullshit. I do love writing. But not because it's fun or a neat hobby.

It's who I am. It's who I've been since middle school. And whether its a hobby forever or eventually something I do for money (*gives the Novel project a side eye*) it doesn't matter. I only sort of do this by choice. It's part of what I'm here to do, I think.

#stilleundregen #kyla says things #writing #this was longer winded than it needed to be #but #shrug #oh well #thanks for the ask lovely <3

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capricornlibraries · 3 years

Text

4 years and a hell of a lot of heartache

“This is what I thought I thought you'd need me This is what I thought so think me naive I'd promise you a heart you'd promise to keep Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep” (“Prelude 12/21” by AFI)

The anniversary of the day she left this world has come and gone for the fourth year in a row. Her absence no longer brings me sadness, but the thought of all she has and will miss does. My growth as well as everyone else’s has been so amazing these past few years. Sadly, I don’t think, if she was still here, that that growth would be as admirable. I think it’s the appreciation for the growth. A certain embrace of life that only happens following the death of someone close. I see death as more of a blessing than a curse. It starts out in a devastating way, but much like fire, there’s a following rebirth. There’s a reason Uranus follows Saturn. “How beautiful… the agony in the moment of destruction” (Sailor Saturn, Sailor Moon, vol. 8).

The day she died was a new moon. This year it’s full, in the sign of Aquarius, the water-bearer she was born under. Pluto cozied up with my Venus, Neptune winked at my own in 13 degrees, and Saturn hit my 3rd house cusp going backwards. The day of her deathiversary, the moon peaked full right where her natal Saturn nestled in her chart. How saturnine.

How strange it was that we both owned Saturn cars, hers white, mine black. She an Aquarius with her Saturn in Aquarius, me a Capricorn with my Saturn in Capricorn. When she died, my sun began its progress into Aquarius. The beginning of my Saturn return would soon follow. In the following Aquarius season, my journey into seriously studying astrology began, and so did the reclamation of my life.

I loved her so much that I would have taken a bullet for her. But that passion wasn’t returned and therefore unhealthy. She wanted me to love her for so long, but as soon as I was ready to commit to those feelings, she rejected me. I’ve matured enough to understand that we were both just queer, neurodivergent children in high school exploring ideas of sex and love through the lens of puberty and the closet in a world where we were outcasted. At the time though, I felt so scathed, that I was simultaneously angry and heartbroken. Angry enough to live a life through spite, depressed enough to die from a broken heart. It hurt so much to see she didn’t need me, and she didn’t want me. I listened to Pink’s So What on repeat. I dived into fandom to keep my thoughts occupied. She haunted my dreams every night for a year and a half. She still makes appearances in them even now.

Honestly, there is still a lot of anger, but there’s more sorrow and repentance. I’ve done shadow work to see where in our relationship I was toxic. I was overcontrolling, overbearing, and could be quite cold. I wish I could tell her I’m sorry for how I was, but I wonder if she would have ever done the same for me. She only ever apologized when she felt cornered. She lied to me a lot and gaslit me when I would figure out what she fibbed about. It would get to a point that I would have to provide scrupulous amounts of evidence, but then that’s when she would say the reason she didn’t ever tell me the truth was because she was afraid of my reaction, then later, accusing me of implying she couldn’t do anything right. At one point after the heartbreak, we talked to each other, and I had thought she had said sorry to me, but then ghosted me after that interaction. Months later, my friend had ran into her and she had mentioned me. My friend mentioned how she didn’t talk to me after she apologized to me, to which she replied “I didn’t apologize because I had nothing to be sorry for.” So I feel like even if I could apologize to her, face to face, or through text now, that she would have accepted it but would have returned no apology, and in fact, would have used mine as her high horse, leaving me to think it was all my fault in the end, instead of a combined effort of miscommunication and teenage angst.

Her death placed her on a pedestal amongst her friends. They’ve all been so devastated from her loss, understandably, but in such a way that all they remember was the good and none of the bad. She backstabbed a lot of people throughout the years; she could be pretty two-faced when it needed to benefit her. And maybe that’s just how people approach death. They only want to remember the good. But it’s difficult for me, when she caused me so much pain, to only ever hear about how wonderful she was. I feel like a recently divorced, ex Mormon who had to leave an abusive relationship with all the calamity from church goers insisting that they’re betraying god. I know that they all loved her, hell I did too, fiercely, but she also hurt me, and I am so tired of having to keep that part of me locked away because it’s a version of her that doesn’t fit the narrative everyone has made of her. She already made me seem like the toxic one ever since we broke up in high school, and now I feel like, if I were to speak my truth, I would face only backlash and accusations that I am lying, seeking attention, and playing the victim.

For three years, from about 8th to 11th grade, we resided in our imaginations in a fantasy world we had created together with up to 100 characters, different planets, and enmeshed relationships. We filled notebooks and email inboxes of roleplays back and forth to each other, as well as getting together before school, at lunch, and after school speaking the roleplays out loud to one another. This was how we communicated our feelings to each other, getting lost in emotions as we went from intense plots to slice of life storylines. If only I could share our expansive world to everyone, they would see how beautiful our creation was… but every time I try to write those stories, I find myself lost, wishing she could assist. She was my muse, another part of me, and I loved her with every fiber of my being for so long. But I also hated her because of the power she held over me, the way she left me behind to fend for myself as she rebuilt her life without me so easily. I still feel like I am easy to throw away, and it disrupts all my relationships to this day. I will try to get close but then shy away, feeling like people are better off without me. For others, she was the light of their lives and now they can’t face the darkness she has left behind. For me, she was pain and suffering, and I had fallen in love with the darkness.

So I use this full moon to release these pent up feelings, emotions that ran deep from her death on the Leo new moon 4 years ago. I have since then faced some of the darkest parts of myself and embraced them, dived into myself to reach a hand out to my inner child who I am still learning to soothe and let their voice be heard. I want to be able to speak my truth without feeling afraid. I want to be taken seriously, seen as someone who is capable and smart. I am a great friend who didn’t deserve to be thrown away; I deserved compassion and understanding in my weakest moments. The person she left in senior year of high school deserves to have their voice and story heard, even if it’s years later, and she is gone. I release the anger, the pain, and the sorrow. I embrace loving myself and speaking my truth. I loved her, but I also hated her, and both those parts of me deserve recognition and compassion. I know my worth now. I am worthy, I am loved, I am wonderful. I am a light in people’s lives; I have faced my darkness so I no longer need to see myself as only a shadow; I am both the shadow and the light. I may be saturnine, but I have Jupiter in Leo in my 10th house. The expansive, abundant planet in the sign of creativity and generosity shines above me, as I hold Saturn close to my chest. Maybe Saturn appears first, but don’t be afraid, because Jupiter lights the way towards bigger and better things.

#my thoughts #full moon in aquarius #a dose of sadness a heap of anger #i am beginning to move on #i deserve to be happy i am worthy i am loved

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plumeriaheart · 5 years

Text

How to persuade your dummy [Mammon/Reader]

I would give Mammon my soul within seconds. Also that one devilgram story for his ssr card, the Mammon Way, made me wish it ended differently so here’s me fulfilling my own wish.

FANDOM: Obey Me!

RATING: more fluff, with a little bit of spice

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

„Ugh, why do I have to bother with some stupid homework assignment?! This is beneath the Great Mammon!”

His sudden outburst doesn’t phase you nor Satan – it’s his fourth one already. Although Satan already explained to him that he had to finish his course work – lest he wants to repeat the year – it simply doesn’t seem to get through his head. And you can tell that he’s growing more exasperated by the second. If you look closely, you can see his smile twitch as he watches Mammon flipping through the pages of his exercise books.

“Satan, would you like me to handle this?” Not to mention that you’re just as much at a loss as he is; still, you would rather avoid him losing his cool. If everything else fails, you could simply command Mammon to do his work, right?

“Are you certain that you’ll be able to?” He seems hesitant, considering whether this is something he can leave in your hands. The concern on his face makes you wonder – does he think that little of you? After all, you were able to make most of the demon brothers enter a pact with you. You would have thought that you had proven yourself more than capable at this point.

“Of course I am. I have a pact with him, remember?” This seems to reassure him, and only a few seconds pass before he nods with a confident smile.

“Then I will leave this job to you. Do let me know about your success later tonight when you return to the House of Lamentation.” With those words, he bids you farewell. As soon as he’s out of eyesight, though, you hear Mammon getting up from his chair.

“Finally! Thought he wasn’t gonna leave at all!” You watch him as he stretches his arms above his head, a carefree grin on his face. Unless you act fast, you know he’s going to take the chance to disappear as quickly as he can.

“You know, I thought you looked pretty cute working on that assignment...” Voice as nonchalant as possible, you sit down across from him and notice his cheeks burning up right away. He turns his face away from you quickly as if to try and hide the fact that you made him blush.

“Ya’ think…? I-I mean, ‘course I did! I, the Great Mammon, always look pretty cute! And, uhm, attractive, too!” He’s right, technically, you do think he always looks rather attractive, but maybe you could use this to make him continue his work?

“There’s something really attractive about somebody that’s so focused on their work in front of them...” You mumble, letting your eyes drop down to his opened books. “I really like seeing you that focused, Mammon.”

You’ve never seen him sit down as fast as he did right now, frantically searching for the pencil he used to pretend to work while Satan was present.

“L-like this?” His voice is low and he doesn’t even look up at you, eyes glued to the page in front of him. Whether he’s actually trying to read or if he’s just pretending to, you can’t tell. Though you can see that he’s still blushing.

“Yeah, just like that – it’s really difficult to hold back the urge to kiss you right now.” His grip around the pencil tightens and the lead breaks from the pressure. With a gulp, he dares to look up at you for a mere second only to see you smiling at him. As if you didn’t just make his heart stop!

“Pfft, that’s… That’s just like a human, being too weak to… to ignore my devilish charms,” he mumbles, eyes flitting from your lips to the curve of your neck. Suddenly, he’s hyper-aware of how enticing you look to him; the thought of how soft your lips must feel and how delicate your skin looks. Mammon gulps, finding it even more difficult to focus on the work in front of him thanks to you.

You wonder if your plan backfired, if you only made it more difficult for him to finish his work, but then… Another idea sparks inside your head. Anything is worth a shot to make him work.

“I think my self-control is strong enough to hold myself back right now. But if you were to finish that first book… I don’t know if I’d be able to hold myself back then.” It’s unclear whether Mammon can tell that you’re sweet-talking him into doing his work or not, but the important thing is that it’s working. He’s pulled the book closer to himself, underlining passages within the text and scribbling down stuff in his notebook. And unlike before, they’re not just wiggly lines.

You grin to yourself, watching him work away – too focused to even look up for a single second. Now that you have to wait for him to finish the first book, you take out your D.D.D. and start a new group chat with the other brothers. You take a quick snapshot of Mammon and send it to them with the caption ‘I found a way to make him work!’

Immediate responses flood the group chat, all five brothers wondering just how you managed to convince him. You’re not willing to tell them you practically seduced him into doing it, but… Asmodeus can probably figure it out himself.

‘Did you promise to send him exclusive voice lines from Ruri-chan if he finishes his work? ROFLMAO If yes, you have to send them to me. Plz do it. Mammon’s such a normie he wouldn’t know how to appreciate Ruri-chan’s precious voice.’

‘Did you offer to pay him? With all due respect, you didn’t seem like the type of person to possess enough wealth to do so.’

‘I bet she promised to make dinner for him. Maybe even his favourite meal? I bet he couldn’t say no to that.’

You hold back a giggle to those texts, but then you feel as if somebody’s staring at you. Looking up from your D.D.D., you see Mammon with a confident smile – he’s at the end of the first book, and his eyes are watching you expectantly.

That was way faster than you imagined!

“You’re done already? I’m impressed, Mammon,” you say. His only response is a grin, a quick nod and another slight blush on his cheeks. He’s really waiting for that kiss you mentioned, isn’t he?

As you get up from your seat and move to sit next to him, he suddenly averts his gaze.

“This was nothing for somebody as clever as me!” His voice is not as cocky as his words, and he gulps audibly as you sit down next to him. Your arms touch, and you can feel the warmth radiating from him. You’re more than willing to hold up your end of the bargain, but he refuses to turn his head to look at you. As if you weren’t able to see how red his face was from this angle!

That’s not enough to stop you, though. You lean closer to him, placing your lips just below his ear. He jumps in his seat, clearly not having expected you to be so bold.

“I’m really proud of you, Mammon. You’ve done really well, you know? And the next two books are going to be a cakewalk for you,” you whisper. He shivers at the feeling of your hot breath caressing his skin. It’s entertaining to see how much such a simple action can affect him; it brings you more joy than you’d like to admit. Another soft kiss is placed, this time, a bit closer to his cheek.

“You’re… You’re right! This is nothing for me!” His hands are shaking ever so slightly as he reaches for the next book, aware of just how close you are to him. His skin still tingles where your soft lips touched. You decide to rest your head on his shoulder, watching him as he continues to work. The proximity makes his heart beat faster, nervous about how close you are, but you see him begin to work once more. Since he’s doing his best at focusing on the words in front of him, Mammon doesn’t notice the pink tinge on your cheeks.

It takes him slightly longer than before, which can be attributed to how close you were, but eventually, he finishes the second book as well. He doesn’t say anything, but… He does glance at you. He’s not going to say it, but he wants to hear you say how well he did.

You lift your head from his shoulder, humming a little.

“Can you look at me?” You ask, smiling brightly as he does. Raising your hand, you gently stroke his cheek with your fingertips; eyes never wavering from his. “I’m really glad to see you give it your all.”

His eyes widen as if in shock, but then he nods. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again – he can’t find any words to say to you right now. He’s way too overwhelmed: he’s nervous because you’re so close, anticipating the kiss you talked about before, and also exhausted from doing actual work.

You gently make him tilt his head so that your foreheads touch, and now you feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. At this rate, he’s likely to break a world record in blushing, you think to yourself.

“Do you think you need a little break before you continue?” It’s the least he deserves. “I can get us something to eat, and then you’ll finish the last book, okay?” He nods, but his face drops a little as you get up to order. If he had a say in it, he wouldn’t let you go at all. He finds an irritating amount of satisfaction in having you this close to him, being gentler than anybody had ever been with him before. He’s not the Avatar of Greed for nothing.

When you return, his face lights up with a smile. He may have begun to miss you already, but he also realised that all the thinking had made him hungry.

“I got you some coffee and a backstabbing sandwich – your favourite, right?”

He might just tear up at how kind you are to him.

Roughly two hours later, all three of the books are done. The final one took a toll on Mammon, being way harder than the previous ones, but somehow he pulled through. Maybe it was the way you smiled at him when he let out a frustrated sigh, or maybe it was the way you rested your hand on his when he needed to take a little breather.

You’re way too patient, Mammon thinks to himself, enduring his antics and lack of intelligence. He’s so used to the way his brothers talk down to him that he can’t believe anybody would take the time out of their day to stay with him, to encourage him – and yet that’s exactly what you did. No wonder you manage to make his heart flutter with joy.

“Should we go home?” You ask him as you get up to stretch your legs.

“Yeah… I’m beat. But...” He looks away from you, embarrassed to be asking for this. You did promise him a kiss, and you had yet to kiss him on the lips! How can he ask for it, without actually asking for it? He’s way too stubborn to openly admit to wanting you to kiss him, even if he knows that you can tell. You’ve got a certain way to read him, and Mammon’s not sure if he likes it or not.

“I haven’t forgotten about your reward.” Those words make him choke on his spit, cheeks crimson once more. A reward, huh? It has a nice ring to it, he has to admit. And to hell with it, he does deserve one, doesn’t he?

Gathering the books and his notes, both of you get ready to leave. When you take his hand and entwine your fingers with his, you catch him by surprise. You half expect him to pull his hand away, but he merely mutters unintelligibly as you two leave.

You tell Mammon to rest in his room as you bring the books to Satan. He accepts them, pleasantly surprised to see the results. There’s a fair share of mistakes, but not enough for the committee to fail Mammon. With a spring in your step, you return to Mammon’s room to share the good news with him.

A knock on his door to signal you’re back, Mammon jumps up from his bed and opens the door. You barely get a word out before he pulls you in, slams the door shut and wraps his arms around your waist. With a smile, you gently pat his head and hear him grumble into the crook of your neck.

“You’ve done so well today, Mammon,” you tell him. He raises his head to look up at you, and you wonder if you’re seeing things – do his eyes seem a little watery? The way he looks at you is unlike anything you’ve seen before, a mixture of gratefulness and pleas. It tugs at your heart to see him like this.

When you take his face into your hands, you can feel the heat rising to his cheeks once more. But this time, you’re not going to pull away like the times before. You get up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips, and when they touch, it’s as if he’s revitalised.

He kisses you back with fervour, with such longing that you wonder how long he’s been holding back. His lips crash into yours as if he was starving for you, eager to taste more and more of you. Now he’s not the only one that’s blushing, you’re taken by surprise at how forceful his kiss is. He rests his hands on your hips, trying to pull you closer and closer until you can feel his heartbeat against your chest.

You barely manage to break away to gasp for air before his lips crash into yours once more, hungry, begging to have a taste of you. One of his hands travels up your back, resting between your shoulder blades. The heat coming from his touch is enough to consume you, to set your skin aflame.

When you allow his tongue to slip past your lips, a groan reverberates from him; strong enough to send a shiver up your spine. You’ve given him a taste of yourself now, and it fuels him. The more he touches of you, the longer you kiss, the greedier he becomes – you’re unlike anything else he’s ever had, and suddenly he finds himself breathless, as well.

“P-Please,” he finds himself whimpering, and he’s not sure what he’s asking for himself. There’s an ache in his chest, and his heart is pounding painfully.

“Mammon?” You whisper, unsure what to do next – you can still feel his hot breath on your lips, almost touching. He refuses to open his eyes, not looking at you – but you ask yourself if you can see a tear glistening in the corner of his eye.

You run your fingers through his hair, and then you smile.

“Hey, can you look at me, Mammon?” For a couple of seconds, he refuses to do so, but you don’t mind. You give him as much time as he needs before he finally opens his eyes, looking at you with such a pleading expression that almost makes you wonder if he’s in pain. He remains quiet, gaze burned into yours.

“I like the way you kiss me. Can you do it again?”

You don’t need to ask twice.

A/N: I may get over myself and write a sorta sequel to this that’s more mature than this, given that I... gave it such an open ending tbh. we’ll see!! thanks for reading <3

#obey me!#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #mammon x reader #obey me fluff #obey me fic #this boy has me WHIPPED!!!#i LOVE him #and i want him to be HAPPY

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readerinsertfanfiction · 4 years

Text

The Bae’st of All

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Character: Kyubae the bae’st bae of all aka Kyubei

Prompt: Seeing how Kyubei is named after an alias that the real Mitsuhide Akechi used (Juubei) the chances of fans getting a Kyubei route from Cybird are slim. However, it is simply impossible not to fall for this man. He is too good. So here have my attempt at writing a route.

The key of the previous chapter was (Romantic/Dramatic):

+4/+4

+2/+4

+4/+2

Chapters:

1.1| 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 6.1

Avatar Challenge 1| 3.1 Gacha POV | 1st Letter | 5.2 Gacha

Hair dark like the midnight sky, long and luscious like the rich fabric in my hands. Eyes deep like the ocean, blue as the brightest summers, like the cobalt threads in hands. Alabaster skin like the glow of the moon and the pearl of the finish, with a handsome smile, sly as a fox, warm as my heart right now…

“My lady?”

I snap out of my thoughts when the head seamstress waves her hand in front of me, concerned eyes looking me over as she tries to pry the fabric out of my hands.

“You have overworked yourself, my dear. Go get some rest.”

I blink before I realise that I must have been idle again, my mind flying into panic as I take hold of my work once more.

“No! I mean, my apologies! I was spacing out because of something else.”

(More like someone, but she doesn't need to know that.)

The seamstress grimaces at me as she leaves me alone, her lips curling up into something devious while she sits down with her own work.

“I can see it. No young lady is spared that longing, but your hands have to keep moving if you want to stay here.”

I flush at her teasing words and quickly bow over the commission I had managed to nab in.

After much nagging and begging the seamstresses had finally given into giving me a chance. I shouldn’t waste the trust they placed in me.

“Who is the lucky one?”

She whispers to me as I nearly prick myself, so startled I’m by her sudden inquiry.

“Ah, eh, who?! What?!”

I panic as the seamstress chuckles once more, scooting closer to me as she leans in closer.

“Personally, if I had your youth, I’d aim for someone capable like lord Hideyoshi, though I know that the girls love types like lord Masamune, wild and brash.”

I flush once more when I realise what she is trying to get out of me, as my mind wanders off towards a particular vassal that often stuck close to the shadows.

“Or perhaps you think you can warm up that prickly lord Ieyasu?”

I gulp harder at her interrogation as I try to gather my wits together for an answer.

“Were I a woman I’d prefer someone like Lord Mitsunari; kind and friendly to all. Makes for fewer arguments.”

The teasing lilt in the voice was unmistakably familiar as I whipped around to face the man that had occupied my mind so.

“Kyubei! Wha—“

A chuckle escapes the man as he bows, dropping a package next to me as he does so.

“I didn’t mean to overhear, but I was tasked to bring over these sweets to a certain hardworking lady.”

A familiar smell drafts up from the package as I recognise the pastries Kyubei had treated me with when we played Go. It triggered another warm memory within me as I stared at the vassal with bated breath.

“Thank you.”

I manage to get out, earning another grin from Kyubei who shakes his head before responding;

“Just doing my job.”

(Has he always looked so handsome? Oooh, I’m head over heels, am I not?)

Resisting the urge to slap my hands over my cheeks I flash a smile back at Kyubei as I motion for him to sit down.

“Stay for a bit longer?”

(Let me have you near me a little longer.)

I wasn’t sure when I had grown so greedy for his time. Neither did I have a clue when I had started to think of him as someone I liked more than just a friend. But here I was and I wasn’t about to let go so easily, no matter the time left.

(Just allow me to stay by your side.)

I prayed this as Kyubei’s eyes crinkle into another smile, resigning himself for a moment as he joins me.

“If you allow me, but no word to my lord. He will double my work if he finds out I’m idle.”

The joke comes out in a hushed whisper and I find myself leaning in closer, making sure I don’t miss out on any sound of his voice.

“It is our secret.”

“I can be your job.”

“Just a break.”

The head seamstress in the meanwhile had retreated already, her inquisitive eyes staring me down as I realised that she had me.

(Welp. So much for her fancy warlord gossip!)

Though, I don’t feel any regret over having to miss out on that talk.

“I shouldn’t keep you long.”

Kyubei’s voice pulls me back to him, my eyes widening as I shake my head.

“No-“

“Don’t worry. With you around she might actually keep her head in the present.”

The head seamstress answers for me before I can protest, earning a blush crawling across my jaws and down to my neck while I quickly dive into my needlework with interest.

“If you say that I might actually get the wrong idea!”

Kyubei laughs as he returns a reply in good humour and the seamstress chuckles.

(They’re both enjoying my misery!)

I lament this as the two of them continue their friendly banter, my head lowering and inching closer to the fabric until I have buried my face into the folds.

“Oh dear, it has grown late.”

Kyubei suddenly announces as he gets up, the fabric of his hakama rustling when he moves. I peek out just enough to see that he has his eyes trained on me, our gaze meeting as I quickly straighten up.

“So soon already?”

I can’t help but let my disappointment sound through as Kyubei flashes me an apologetic smile.

“There is much to do, still. Forgive me.”

(It is unfair how I can never be angry at him.)

He reaches out and brushes some hair out of my face before turning and leaving me once more. As soon as Kyubei has exited the room the head seamstress chuckles once more, her knees quickly scooting over to my side as she stares me down with a mischievous glimmer.

“Now, that’s a choice. Though, I wouldn’t say it is a good one.”

Her expression tells me that she loves it, but her words spell something different. Confused, I keep quiet, hoping to encourage her to continue.

“That’s lord Mitsuhide’s shadow, not? The one who does all of the dirty work the lord himself can’t be bothered with, or associated with.”

Her words sting, but I’m aware of Mitsuhide’s reputation by now. The lord whose allegiances were unclear despite the position he held next to Nobunaga.

(It doesn’t help that the future has no clue of it either and I’m no more the wiser.)

“You will spare yourself a lot of heartbreak if you let go of that one, dear.”

The head seamstress continues as she gives me a gentle pat on the shoulder, leaving me rather cold and empty as I take in her words.

(I know she is right, but is it really so easy to let go of someone?)

My heart said no, and neither did my mind agree.

(Even if heaven and earth defies, my heart cannot lie.)

#ikesen kyubei #kyubei x reader #ikemen sengoku kyubei #kyubei's route #ikesen x reader #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku x reader

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invisibleinorange · 4 years

Text

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death, Suicidal Ideation Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties), Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington, Benedict Bridgerton Additional Tags: Bridgerton, Polin Summary: Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes". (#I’mHereToKillYouAllWithFeels)

---

Anthony and Benedict had expected a lot of different reactions from their younger sister, dead silence was not one of them.

They stood there though watching as she read the letter, complete and utter disbelief and confusion clear on her face.

Eloise Bridgerton was certain that Penelope Featherington told her everything. Sure, Colin had always been nice to Penelope but so were the rest of her brothers.

If there had been something out of the ordinary, she would have picked up on it. If one of her brothers was taking more notice or spending more time with her, she would certainly picked up on it.

Colin had barely broken off his engagement to Marina before he departed. Why would he have been so concerned about Pen?

This whole thing felt ludicrous and the only rational explanation was that this was some cruel prank. Sure, she knew that Penelope was incredible but her brothers were all idiots. As much as she might have loved to have her best friend have become a sister, she’d never seen it as the remotest of possibilities.

Reading the letter, she felt almost guilty for having never given Penelope enough credit for being capable to grab the attention of one of her brothers.

After a long moment she raised a hand as if to tell her brothers to not even say a word. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

“You had both better hope that I don’t have cause to leave Gregory my only brother when I return,” she muttered and then with was gone, leaving the safety of the drawing room toward the one person who could answer any of the questions she had.

The reason Penelope Featherington could get away with more than most was because no one actually ever paid her much attention. No one cared what she did honestly and that was why it was so easy to keep herself shut away in her bedroom, convince herself that it would be so much easier for everyone involved if she just disappeared.

There were certain things that she had to get in order though. She had forced herself to sneak in the night to allow Lady Whistledown to honor Colin but after that, she’d begun to get her affairs in order.

She had every intention of it being the last thing that she ever sent to print. She intended to have the secret die with her so that those she loved could at least keep some self-respect.

There were other letters that she had debated putting together too but somehow the words that were the most important were the most impossible to put together. Her family wouldn’t even put on a show of missing her. The only person left who might actually miss her was Eloise.

She kept plenty of things from her over the years though and perhaps, it was for the best if she never knew.

The saddest part of it all was that her mother never learned. The necessary toxins were still easily accessible in the home. Penelope had listened when Marina had detailed what all she’d consumed. Surely, if that could nearly kill her if she doubled it, it would actually do the job. If it didn’t work, she was pretty sure she would just throw herself into the sea.

Her normally healthy pink skin was pale, her hands trembled as she wrapped her hand around the deceptively sweet smelling cup of tea. She raised it to her lips, prepared to take a sip.

Her plan was interrupted by the door opening with a slam.

The look on her face must have said it all because all 167.6 centimeters of Eloise Bridgerton came at her with a horrified force, knocking the cup out of her hands letting it shatter and spill against the floor.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” the brunette bellowed.

It was enough the send Penelope crumbling into the ground, curling into herself. She was shattering and a part of her felt selfish for this all. She no longer had the strength to lie though.

“I want to join him,” she sobbed.

Eloise was completely taken aback but she still descended to her own knees, wrapping her arms around the red-head trying her to best to calm the storm. She didn’t have to understand any of this to understand that there wasn’t a chance in Hell of her letting Penelope actually harm herself.

“You will not,” she ordered. “I won’t let you.”

“This is all my fault,” Penelope cried.

Eloise didn’t see a possible scenario where that could be true. The letter that her brother had written was still clearly imprinted in her mind along with the millions of questions that followed.

She was starting to think her brothers might have been right to share it.

A loud sigh escaped her lips and she forced her friend to look her in the face.

“My brother would not want this no matter what happened between the two of you,” she said resolutely, knowing that without a shadow a doubt.

It was Penelope’s turn for confusion to show across her features.

“Nothing happened between me and your brother.”

Eloise couldn’t help but wonder if this was one of those situations where someone protested too much. Sure, she’d clearly missed something but her eyes were wide open now and she just wanted to know the truth.

“Then why did he write to you?” she couldn’t help but ask.

If Penelope could have turned paler in that moment, she was pretty sure that she would have. Eloise wasn’t sure if she swooned, she’d have been able to keep her up right.

“He … wrote … me?” she asked.

Eloise nodded.

“Before he left,” she said. “It just doesn’t make sense to me because you’ve never given me any inclination that you had any passing fancy for any of my brothers and – I know I’ve been busy with my investigation but surely, I would have noticed something. Surely, if you were this in love with my brother, you would have told me.”

She didn’t say it because it was of no relevance now that Colin was gone but she was a bit hurt with the thought that she wouldn’t have been told. As much as it might have been weird, there was no one she would have rather had become a sister. In many ways, she’d always felt as if they were sisters.

Her words shamed Penelope.

“I didn’t tell you because he wouldn’t have felt the same. I’m not like you and your sisters. I don’t have Lords and Dukes fighting over my hand. The only men who ever dance with me at balls do so out of pity. Yes, I … believe I loved your brother but he never would have loved me. Maybe he didn’t marry Marina but there would be another next season or the next.”

Eloise’s loyalties were completely and utterly torn. Did she defend her brother’s character? Did she argue her best friend’s virtues?

“ You’re incredible, Pen. Maybe the men and the Ton are idiots but that doesn’t change the fact you are one of the smartest, kindest and most loyal people that I’ve ever know. Even if I am furious at you for not telling me all of this, I’ll keep telling you as much.”

There was a pause, the folded letter retrieved from where she’d stashed it in her haste to get there to investigate.

She extended it toward her friend after a long moment of thought.

“I was going to say my brother was daft but apparently you both are when it comes to romance. I’m sorry that he’ll never be able to tell you as much himself.”

My Dear Pen, Everyone in my family has a bit of a label to them. I love them all dearly. It’s sometimes a big heavy trying to live up to their accomplishments. Being clever has always been my method of disguising my discomfort in my own skin at times. If you are reading this, I was a coward who couldn’t be man enough to utter the very words that have taken to plaguing my every waking hour. When I am with you, you disarm me. I am in awe of you to the point that it terrifies me. I’m not completely sure that you recognize how magnificent you truly are. I know that you think that no one takes notice of you but I do. You’re also my sister’s most beloved friend and as such I may have taken for granted the fact you would always be there. I know that I have acted beastly in recent weeks, throwing myself head first at an ill-fated engagement with little consideration for your own circumstances, ignoring you when you sought to warn me and taking our friendship for granted. I cannot apologize to you enough. I am completely and utterly undeserving of the repeated forgiveness you have bestowed upon me. I had hoped I might throw myself at you for your mercy once more. I know that you are facing bigger issues than my own selfish need of your company though. I understand now that this is why you spurned my request at the ball. I was wounded when you took leave of me but struggle to find sleep, I knew just how foolish I might have been to think that you would even want to spend the night dancing and talking with a rake like me. You have always deserved the attention of a man not a boy. You deserve someone who would put you above his own boyish whims. You deserve to be cherished always. By the time I return from Greece, someone else will have seen how magnificent you really are. Perhaps one day, I will grow into the man that you have always had faith that I could be and when I approach you won’t feel need to take leave of me. I will never be as good as Anthony or Benedict but if when we can meet again you so much as deem me worthy of friendship, I will not take such opportunity for granted.

Your most humble friend, Colin

#⚜ writings — polin #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington

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a-marlene-s · 5 years

Note

If you are still doing the 20 drabbles, maybe one where Marinettes parents come to school (she forgot something at home) overhear what Lila and her classmates are saying about her and just SNAP.

Sabine and Tom didn’t know the full extent onto what was going on at their daughter’s school. They knew something wrong is happening with how Marinette became more recluse from them but never to a degree where she cries herself to sleep every night. They knew right then and there, that they needed to figure out what is happening. When they got a phone call from Ms. Mendeleiev, they knew something was wrong. The woman told them that Marinette’s recent change of behavior has troubled her immensely to the point that it made her wonder why Miss Bustier isn’t taken note of the change, let alone trying to talk them them of it.

The next day, under the guise of simply bringing in sweets for Marinette’s classmates, they went to the school. When they arrived at the school, one of Marinette’s friends, a girl named Aurore, had pulled them aside and informed them of something that chilled them to the bones. Despite her best efforts in trying to convince Marinette to tell them what has been going on, Aurore decided it was for the best, even if it means losing Marinette’s trust, she told them everything she had witnessed since Lila came to Collège Françoise Dupont.

Anger doesn’t even describe what Sabine and Tom are feeling at that moment. They know that Aurore isn’t lying to them, they know the girl since she was in diapers and never once lied about anything of this nature. If anything, they seek her out whenever they knew something is wrong with your daughter and to hear this...

Heads will roll...

“Could you ask Ms. Mendeleiev to take us to Marinette’s class?” Sabine asked sweetly to the teen, making her gulp before agreeing. Aurore ran off as quickly as she could to look for her teacher, leaving behind two fuming parents. “I knew I always hated that woman.”

“We should have had Marinette transfer classes or schools after Bustier refused to properly reprimand Chloe.” Tom nearly seethed out. If it wasn’t for Mendeleiev for appearing the next second, the two would have made run of Bustier’s classroom.

“Mr. and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng.” Mendeleiev said, walking up to the obviously fuming parents. “If you two come with me, I already set a meeting with several individuals. We simply need to retrieve Bustier, Marinette and one other student.”

-.-

Marinette wanted to cry, but knew that would only show weakness to all of them. No matter how much she tried to defend herself, it interpreted as her being jealous, petty, or just a bully towards Lila. Everyone is against her.

Adrien is just a bad as the others as he refuses to say or do anything to defend her. Going as far to make her promise to take the high road when dealing with Lila. There is no high road here... it’s just being someone’s punching bag.

Alya has made it a point that she sides with Lila no matter how much the Liar’s words are just lies. Going as far to claim that she needed to check her sources but refuses to do her own. Far as Marinette knows, Alya is no longer her friend.

Then there’s Miss Bustier... Marinette should have known better to even remotely believe she could help her. After all the times she had allowed Chloe to get away with everything she had done against her. Now she wants a teen to set a good example, but being the bigger person? That’s a teacher’s job! Bustier should be making the example!

“Stop being so mean to Lila, Marinette!” Alya accused Marinette for what feels like the hundredth time. “Just stop being like this! Lila is trying to be your friend, and all you’ve done is being a self-centered, bigoted bi-”

“Miss Cesaire, that is enough!”

Everyone froze. All the students and including the teacher, turned to see Ms. Mendeleiev standing at the doorway, glaring at Alay. She turned her attention over to Marinette then at Lila. “Miss Dupain-Cheng and Miss Rossi, I am to take the both of you to the principals office... including you Miss Bustier.”

Many of the students wanted to say something but when Tom appeared behind Mendeleiev, this caused many of them to go quiet. He had a look on him that made many of them shrink into their chairs. Double once Sabine stepped around Mendeleiev for her daughter to run into her awaiting arms.

Sabine gave Alya a glare that could make any grown adult flinch away in pain. She then turned her attention to Bustier. “How dare you! How dare you sit there and not defend my daughter!”

Busiter tried to say something along the lines that there was just some sort of misunderstanding or that Marinette was capable of handling it on her own, but that just fell to deaf ears. Even more so when she brought up the topic of that Marinette needed to set an example.

“An example?” This time, it was Mendeleiev who spoke up. “You want a young girl to set an example? For what? You are the teacher, you need to set an example. Either way, you are to come with us... Superintendent Abreo wants to have a chat with all of us...”

Fin.

I am going to make permanent tag lists.

PT: Permanent Tagged: Tagged for everything. From one-shots to updates to every story I make from various fandoms.

MLC: Miraculous Ladybug Crossover: Everything related to the fandom, which also includes crossovers from every fandom.

ML/DC: Maribat or anything related to the crossover of Miraculous Ladybug and the DC Universe.

FT: Fairy Tail

Digimon

ML Alone: Just Ladybug, no crossovers.

Harry Potter

Avatar: The Last Airbender

My Hero Academia

More to come.

Please message me or write below which one you like to be tagged in. As I know some people don’t like to read certain fandoms.

Tag List:

Permanent Tags: @mewwitch

MLC/ML: @its-stevonnie-bitch @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @thequestionablyhuman

#One-Shot #Miraculous Ladybug #ms mendeleiev #salt

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empiregalaxy · 5 years

Text

Leaving Tumblr

Dear Tumblr,

The cliche goes 'this is a hard post to write.' Well, it's not. This is very easy to write. I'm leaving Tumblr, and you should too. Here's why.

I joined this social media site in 2012, as I was drawn to discussing films. Soon, I got into 'fandoms', mainly Buffy The Vampire Slayer and A Song Of Ice And Fire. For the first few years, there was no problem. Well, except one. Let's call her 'MN.' MN and I met on Yahoo Answers, and we shared private e-mails. I felt safe around her, and I confided in her some of my secrets. She helped me when a Tumblr user were sending sexually crass messages to me. During a time when my social life was falling apart, she helped me. Then one day, she stopped talking to me. She didn't block or unfollow me, but she pretended that I didn't exist. No replies to my friendly comments (she'd reply to everyone else).

At the time, I thought I did something wrong. But now I realise she was a coward who didn't have the guts to tell me that she no longer wanted to be my friend. That's the thing about Tumblr. It's full of cowards, who lack the intellectual or moral ability to confront their 'friends.' And when you mention that, they convince you that the problem lies with you.

So I moved away from the film fandom.

During the next few years, I get more involved in the ASOIAF fandom, particularly the Arya Stark section. And yeah, I was an SJW (vomit!). I would write posts about Arya, how sucky the Sansa fandom was. But overtime, I saw a shift. What started as simple, light-hearted bashing of Sansa fans turned sinister. They 'controlled' the fandom and the mods at ASOIAF university. Looking back it, I want to tell them that Arya and Sansa are both fictional characters. They aren't real. But the Sansa fans you were bashing and calling names, spreading lies about? They are. I often say that 'Tumblr treats real people like fictional characters, and fictional characters like real people.' It's true. All of these characters that you care about... they aren't real. And people don't have to treat them like they are.

So I 'defect' from the Arya fandom. And oh boy did they turn on me. Some are more slower than others, and they tell me that the reason why they didn't block me immediately was because 'they didn't want to hurt my feelings.' That's utter bullshit. They did it because they were scared of the fallout. They were cowards. But once they did block me, they'd post lies about me. That I was a stalker. That I was a bad person. I was open slather once they decided that I was no longer one of them. That's the thing about Tumblr: it's tribal. People think there actions are morally justified, if the person receiving them is 'bad.' Everything about me was insulted, even my gifsets.

A user who was particularly vicious was Marie. She and I were mutuals for well over 18 months. But she'd call me a bad person, a creep, mentally ill, an evil Reylo or whatever. Worse, was that these Arya stans were discussing me on Twitter. When I exposed them, I only had my closest mutuals at the time supporting me. (I had over 2,000 followers. Only 3 bothered to ask if I was okay). Users I never heard of suddenly had 'hot takes' about me.

Lies were spread about me, non stop. I realised that not only was this behaviour permitted on Tumblr, but it was actively rewarded.

And it was all over a FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

This happened in 2016, which involved Brexit and the presidental election of Donald Trump. Look, I believe in free speech. I don't care if you are for or against them. Personally, I despise the European Union and if I were American, yeah, I could have voted Republican. But that's irrelevant. Tumblr users were so unhappy with those results, that anyone who did like Trump and Farage were labelled all the awful names in the book. Racist. Sexist. Nazi. Not only did this teach me that Tumblr users have no idea what those words mean, but that they are willing to use them liberally in order to gain power. Looking back at it, I'm glad Trump won. I'm glad Brexit happened. Not only because of politics, but it meant that you guys LOST. You better get used to that feeling, because if you continue to treat people the way you treated me, that feeling will soon be the only thing you know.

A common misconception in the media is that Tumblr users act like 'SJWs' because they are young and ignorant. I mean, sure. But Tumblr users act like SJWs because they are fundamentally, cultish in nature and adhere to a hideous morality. I study Modern History, and a big part of that is empathy. What motivates someone to join the SS? Or run a gulag? Or torture someone? I manage to answer those questions, with relative ease. But I still have no idea why Tumblr users are so nasty and stupid. Like, none of you know shit about anything.

The breaking point, when I realised 'we are all fucked' was when neo-Nazi Richard Spencer got punched. Look, I disagree with EVERYTHING Antifa and the Alt-right do. Celebrating any form of political violence leads to a nasty path. One day you are celebrating some one getting punched, and the next, you are cheering people getting slaughtered. People should never be CELEBRATED for violence. There is no moral justification for it. And you guys are too stupid to figure out that once all the 'Nazis' are gone, you are next to be sent to the gulag. You see yourself as distributing justice, but never receiving punishment. And oh, that is going to hurt you long term.

I would subtely mention why Spencer getting punched was wrong. But people on Tumblr were saying 'if anyone doesn't support Antifa, they should get punched too.' That's utter tyranny, and its something a Nazi would do. Since 2017, the countless violence by AntiFa is astounding. And Tumblr cheers it on like its a fucking joke. Like the real world is a theatre, and we are all patrons in the globe. Well, I've got news for you. The world doesn't exist for your pleasure. People don't have to act in certain ways to make you happy. The universe is not a 'safe space.' And you have the arrogant audacity to think you can bully it into changing.

Worse, was that I was fearful to speak out against it. That's utter evil. I understood the meaning of the term 'self-censorship' and since then, have become a free speech advocate.

Of course, no letter about leaving Tumblr would be complete without mentioning Lindsay. Oh Lindsay. We were friends for 2 years, and then I said a historical fact (that the Nazis persecuted people beyond Jewish people) and she flipped out. She blocked me, sent me anon hate, and told all the Reylos to block me. And you know what? Alot did. I was put on hit and block lists.

Now, anyone who has studied World War II history knows that I am right. But because Tumblr is contrived of people who can't put Austria on a map, I was attacked and slandered. Lindsay would try to bully my friends into blocking me. They obviously refused. But Lindsay probably does the same shit to other people. Good thing she's a boring basic bitch with no personality, who has the charisma of a rock, because people with her mindset can really hurt people. She'll probably call me a 'Holocaust revisionist' for making fun of her.

I honestly don't care what she thinks of me. I don't care what Marie thinks of me. They will probably interpret me leaving Tumblr as a victory of sorts. And yeah, I'm gone from Tumblr. But I'm not gone from this world. I will continue to live, to write, to create, to argue. I know I matter. I know I'm a good person capable of a positive impact. I am not what you think I am, and I never will be.

You will always have the knowledge that I am out there, being me, being different and weird, and changing the world. Whilst you, are stuck on a computer screen, bullying people who think differently than you.

That's a bloody victory for me, and a sore loss for you. Although I am leaving, I will not delete this blog. I want people to comb through it, and study it. And learn. See my flaws, and know that it possible to leave Tumblr, and still have a good fucking life.

Goodbye Tumblr. Madeleine.

PS: I will say that the Sansa fandom and (some) parts of the Reylo fandom has been kind to me. It's sad to leave, because I will miss them. If you are one of them and you'd like to maintain contact, send me an e-mail at [email protected] and I'll give you my Facebook, Twitter or personal e-mail.

#i am done caring about this shitty place

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forkanna · 4 years

Link

ALSO READ ON: [AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

WARNINGS: Petplay, exhibitionism, cunnilingus, watersports(kinda). This chapter is going to remind people that I once co-wrote My Sister's Mistress, haha… though honestly it's not that bad.

Happy December!

I'm very sorry to all three of you waiting for the epilogue of this fic. I was feeling fairly dissatisfied with my writing, so I took some time off for reading, and NaNoWriMo to focus on my original work (expect news about that soon). Though some mental fog remains, I'm feeling a little sharper and more capable now to continue delivering updates. And to that end...

Prepare yourselves for WE'LL FACE OURSELVES: GOLDEN! This will not continue the story of Yukiko and Chie, though they will be around here and there; instead, it will focus on another unlikely ship entirely. I'll begin posting that in about a month, or sooner if I find time. You may also want to keep your eyes peeled for more content pertaining to another fandom of which I am a part...

Thanks so much for sticking with this until the end. If you'd like to look me up on other platforms, please check out my Carrd!

Until we meet again, Jessex

EPILOGUE

A horrific day that everyone hoped would never come had finally ambushed the Investigation Team. Yu Narukami was leaving Inaba.

Not a dry eye was to be had at the Yasoinaba station as they watched their gray-haired friend bid fond farewells to all the other friends he had made throughout the year. Chie herself was a little shocked to see just how many there were — hell, even after almost a year she was still shocked that Rise Kujikawa, the real Risette, was one of them! An internationally known pop idol! But there she was, hanging on one of Yu's arms and sobbing into his jacket.

"Yu-kun, don't gooooo!" she blubbered, long auburn pigtails trembling with her movements. "I wanna get to spend G-Golden Week with you, Senpaiiiiii!"

Naoto and Kanji weren't much better. They made for such an odd-looking pair, the rough-and-tumble yakuza-wannabe letting fat tears roll down his cheeks as he was comforted by the small, reserved boy-who-was-not-quite-a-boy. Even after finding out Naoto was a woman, not much had changed; she still dressed like a boy and even behaved like one in most ways. All of Rise's attempts to "girlify" her had fallen flat. Chie really had wound up with a colourful assortment of friends, but she wouldn't change that for the world.

"Yeah, man, you can't take off," Yosuke chuckled. Trying to suppress his feelings with humour; they all knew he was going to miss Yu as much as anyone. "Your girlfriend's gonna miss you, and that ain't cool."

Not that he was pointing at Rise. No, his finger was levelled at Nanako — the little girl she and Yukiko had run into once upon a time who turned out to be Yu's cousin. She was currently hiding behind the leg of her father, Detective Ryotaro Dojima, coming over shy after he had reprimanded her for being too clingy with the boy she had dubbed her big brother. Not that he could control Rise doing the exact same thing, despite having nearly ten years on the second-grader.

"Oh, shut up," Yu grunted — though his motivation was pure, as always. "Don't tease her."

"Whaaat? I'm teasing you, not…" But at the glares from everybody, Yosuke sighed and deflated. "You guys are no fun."

Rise pulled back, her large doe eyes shining with tears — on purpose, Chie knew. She was a top notch actress. "Can't you give me a little kiss goodbye? Something to keep me from… from dying from missing you?"

"Oh please," Yukiko muttered under her breath with a begrudging smile.

But Yu obliged. Sort of. Instead of sweeping her into a graceful dip and really planting one on her, he kissed her forehead. It was a tender gesture, though, so Rise couldn't complain; a much more genuine little smile pulled at her pouty mouth, and she hugged him around the middle.

"Excuse me? What do you think you're doing?"

They all pulled back to see Ai Ebihara approaching, hands on her hips. This bitch again? However, something was different about her compared to their last run-in. She was still glamorous, but Chie couldn't help noticing it seemed like her outfit was a little more… conservative?

"What is who doing?" Rise protested, clinging a little tighter to Yu's arm.

"You! Little trollop!" The teen queen stomped over to the two of them, getting right up in Rise's face. She was a little taller and therefore more imposing, but Rise didn't seem scared in the slightest. "Get your greedy little paws off my boyfriend!"

The idol stamped her foot and snapped, "HEY! I don't see your name on him anywhere!"

Yu gulped and began to back away. "Uh…"

"Really?" Ebihara scoffed. "What makes you think you have any claim to him, slut puppy? He went to the festival with me — and spent Christmas Eve with me, too! And for your goddamn information, we got pretty close!"

Poor Rise. Though she was flirty and manipulative toward Yu and Yosuke, it was in a playful way; she did consider them both friends but couldn't seem to suppress her impulses. And here Ai was making all kinds of accusations and getting legitimately competitive. Her lip wobbled, though Chie was fairly certain it had as much to do with losing out to Ai as it had to do with losing Yu himself.

"Senpai, say that's not true! How could you, when I… I let you… you know!"

"Hey, it doesn't count when I'm just sitting there and you plop your butt down on my hand," he protested at her. "And Ai-chan, we hugged a little; please don't tease her by making it sound like more."

Both of his would-be girlfriends pouted and averted their eyes, cheeks turning pinker. Ai seemed a little more genuinely hurt than her rival for the boy's attentions.

"Whew," Yosuke exhaled, wiping his brow. "Don't know how you get away with it, juggling two chicks like that."

"That's not- I didn't…" Yu sighed, shaking his head as he facepalmed. "Maybe I'm glad to be leaving."

But the minute he said so, even if it was in jest, all faces wore expressions of deep sorrow. Nobody really wanted him to go. They had all known his stopover in Inaba had been temporary and yet it was still a terrible shock that Yu would no longer be hanging out with them on a daily basis, going to school, having roundtable discussions in the Junes food court.

"The end of an era, man," Kanji grunted, trying to look tough and only partially succeeding.

"Aww, cheer up, guys!" Teddie proclaimed, bouncing up and down on his heels so hard his blond locks bounced with him. "We'll see Sensei again! Bet on that!"

"There you go, Teddie," Yu laughed quietly, nodding his direction. The bear-shadow-turned-human beamed.

"And in the meantime, I can look after all the girls for you! You don't have to worry about a thing!"

Rise stuck her tongue out at the well-meaning bear. "I don't want you, I want Senpai!"

As the squabbling only grew worse, other classmates began to approach to wish Yu bon voyage. Some girl from his drama class, those guys from the basketball team… even some young boy and his clearly married mother, though she did seem a bit too young to have a child of that age. Their team leader really had left an impression in the short year he had lived there.

When the train whistle signaled that it was about to pull away, the bickering came to an end so they could truly see their friend off. A lot of tearful hugs and well wishes were offered before he was inside, looking out the window at them as it pulled away from the station. They ran after him all the way to the end of the platform until they ran out of space, then stood waving after him until the train was completely out of sight.

Chie was amused that it turned out to be Rise comforting Ebihara, and Yosuke comforting Teddie. Those were some pretty mismatched pairings. Ryotaro took a sobbing Nanako home, and that seemed to be an unofficial signal for them to disperse from the station.

While Kanji was busy throwing an arm around Yosuke's shoulders, proclaiming loudly that they were about to go drinking despite the fact that neither of them had easy access to alcohol at their age, it was Naoto of all people who started drifting closer to Chie and Yukiko. At first, Chie assumed she just wanted some company, but it turned out…

"Forgive my curiosity, but I've been wondering about something for a while now."

"Hm?" asked a bleary eyed Yukiko. She hadn't sobbed the way Rise did, but she wasn't completely unaffected by the parting. "I'm sorry, what's that?"

"Why have you been wearing a dog collar for the past several months?"

Both girls stopped dead in their tracks. If this were an anime, there would have been a record-scratch sound effect. Yukiko flashed a nervous half-smile at her girlfriend, who was busy tugging at the neckline of her shirt and gulping.

"W-well, it's… a fashion statement," the junior innkeeper finally told her.

"Uh… huh." Her sharp eyes looked between the two. "You may have forgotten in all the excitement of defeating Adachi and Izanami, but I am a detective. Do you want me to simply state what I have deduced from my observations, or would you like t-"

"Okay, okay, already!" Chie hissed, waving back and forth rapidly with her hand. "Can you maybe keep it under that crazy blue hat of yours?!"

Before Naoto could respond to the crack about her belted newsboy cap, a throat was cleared behind the three of them. Ai had broken off from the others and approached them, looking penitent and uncomfortable.

"Yes?" Yukiko prompted her in mild surprise.

"I… thought I should say… I am sorry." She swallowed hard, brows furrowed. The expression still made her look angry and snobby, despite her tone of voice being gentle now; she just had resting bitch face. "Probably too late. But I was really going through some things when I sidelined you two in Aiya, and being rude is second nature to me. Can't be the most stunning girl in school without it going to your head, can you?"

"You say that like I would ever know," Chie snorted.

"Right. And… normally I would be agreeing with you and belittling you, Bowl Cu- I mean, Satonaka. I have a lot of practice." Grimacing, she growled, "Got so used to being queen bitch that it's so hard to just be nice."

After a brief silence, so awkward that it felt as if any sound would have been preferable, Yukiko laid a hand on Ai's arm, gentle and reassuring. "Please, Ai-san. We all have darkness inside of us; nobody is a perfect person. So I think it's very admirable you're seeing your flaws and that you're trying to improve. I am the same, and so are my friends."

"Oh yeah?" The girl let out a wet-sounding laugh; indeed, tears were budding at the corners of her eyes. "How the hell aren't you perfect, Miss Goody Two-Shoes? I mean… I've always been so jealous of how the boys talk about you. No 'buts'."

"No butts?!" Chie burst out. "What do you mean? She's got a GREAT butt!"

Ai chuckled a little more heartily at that. Naoto was the only one who tapped her chin while noticing Yukiko's slight blush from the compliment; the others weren't paying it any attention. "No, no, not her ass. Which fine, sure, it's fantastic. I mean like, they describe both of us as really beautiful, or hot or whatever. Same words for both of us. But with me, it always had a 'but she's such a bitch', 'but she's stuck up', 'but she's psycho' attached. Yukiko… a couple of guys said you were snooty if you turned them down for a date, but the rest of them saw through that. You're a good woman and I'm just a good-looking woman. I did so much work to be beautiful so boys would like me, but I'm just… ugly on the inside."

Though clearly, Yukiko was about to speak up, Chie beat her to the punch. "So that's it, huh? You're pathetic."

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon, Ebihara. You're made of tougher shit than that. Where's that girl who slammed her leg up on the table in Aiya and demanded we appreciate it?"

Though the teen queen had been firing up, being reminded of that moment in the diner made her squirm and fold her arms tightly over her chest. "That was stupid. Do you wanna know why I did that?" When Yukiko nodded, she pushed ahead, "Thing is, I was a... when I was little, I was nowhere near the adorable Ai you see before you now. Fat and hideous, got told I had pig hooves. So like, I'm sure it sounds really stupid to you guys, but having dainty little feet now is super amazing to me still."

"You were fat?!" Chie demanded, looking her up and down afresh. "No way! I call bullshit!"

"Yep, a total blimp. And I got hella teased because I didn't match up with their… whatever. Yu already knows all this stuff, but pretty much I decided to reinvent myself when I found out we were moving to Inaba. Obviously it went to my head, but… at least I'm better now. Getting better all the time."

None of them knew what to say. Chie, for her part, was stunned that Ebihara turned out to be more than a one-dimensional prima donna; she had never given any indication otherwise, even in Aiya when her interests in Yu were revealed to be genuine. Maybe he was the one responsible. After all, while the team had been doing their best to save the victims from dying inside the TV and stop further kidnappings in the first place, Yu Narukami had touched all their lives, brought about an awakening of sorts to their inner beauty that they likely would never have found within themselves without him shedding that light. It just seemed to be one of his latent talents. Unsurprising that he had done the same for the entitled fashionista.

"There seems to be only one solution for this predicament," Naoto was stating firmly with a small nod, finger tapping her chin. "We must return to Aiya to remember our departed friend, and strengthen our bonds with each other."

"Oooh, a party!" Rise piped up with an excited little bounce, despite the light drizzle that was beginning to fall. "Yes please!"

"I guess that's a plan," Chie agreed as Rise, Kanji and Yosuke joined them. "What do you guys think? We catching the portal to the meat dimension?"

Grimacing, Yosuke demanded, "Do you have to call it that every time, Satonaka?! Geesh! Sounds super nasty."

"Bet you can't even handle it."

"Wha- OH YEAH?! BRING IT ON!"

~ o ~

"Ohhhhh, I couldn't eat another bite," Yukiko groaned as they slid open the door to her bedroom at the Amagi Inn. They had whiled away many hours at the diner before the fellowship was broken, and they began to drift their separate ways. Rise was the most afraid to be alone out of any of them, and seemed to want to hang out with Ebihara, despite their strife over Yu's affections. Naoto went off by herself to think, Kanji and Yosuke reinitiated their quest for liquor, that girl from drama class was hanging out with Daisuke and Kou from the sports clubs… and the two illicit lovers had paired off with no one questioning why. Probably because they had already been best friends for their entire lives.

"Well I could," Chie laughed in response as she grabbed a pair of paper slippers. "But you know me, I can always eat."

Yukiko giggled as she began to strip off her remaining clothing. "You and Yosuke, I swear. Your appetites are bottomless."

"Hey, I'm a growing girl!" she said, jabbing herself in the chest with a thumb. "What's his excuse? He doesn't even do martial arts!"

Once fully divested, lithe form fully on display for the other woman in the room, the junior innkeeper approached her side and slid her hands up to gently perch on her shoulders. "Mmm, yes of course. So very strong."

It was impossible for Chie to keep the blush fully out of her cheeks. "Y-yeah. I mean, strong when you're not making my knees weak."

"But Master shouldn't say things like that in front of her pet. She might think she can control her Master, and that isn't very good, is it?"

"True, yeah." Chie shook her head with a vague smile on her lips. It was funny; she was supposed to be the one in control, but most often it was Yukiko who reminded them of their play. The roles they were to serve for each other.

"Mhmmm. Alright." Even though she was clearly a little nervous, she crossed to her dresser, slid open a drawer and began to rummage behind the various undergarments arranged there. "I think we're both ready now."

Poor Chie didn't even bother to ask "ready for what?", because by the time the words began to form on her lips, her best friend was turning around, dropping to the floor and crawling toward her… with a long leather leash dangling from between her teeth.

"A-ah."

"Wrgh dng hrrg trh," Yukiko said — before Chie took the leash from her to allow her room to speak. "I m-mean to say, this is only if you feel up to it, or are interested. But we've spoken a lot about it in the past few weeks, and… and I feel like I would be alright with it."

"Okay, whoa whoa," she laughed nervously. "Listen, I… know you think nobody will see us, but c'mon, the inn gets guests all the time! And like, what if your mom sees us?!"

Sitting up a little straighter, the puppy-girl reassured her, "No, no, I have a plan. Do you know the forest behind our property? It's a little bit of a walk, and I know it might seem silly to take a walk before my walk, but we will probably be free from prying eyes out there. So… so do you want to?"

Any fool in Chie's position could have been able to tell that this girl wanted nothing more than to take her love into the woods so they could play. Even if the type of play they wanted to do was highly unorthodox. How could she say no to those big, baleful eyes?

"Yeah, of course. So um, maybe just put this around your waist under your kimono?"

"YES!" she burst out — before calming herself and clearing her throat. "I mean, yes, that is a good plan. I'll get dressed, try to keep the leash on."

In no time at all, they were strolling through the grounds behind the Amagi Inn, seeming to the single gardener they passed as if they were merely two high school friends out for a stroll. Nothing telltale from their appearances to suggest otherwise — except the collar, and even that wasn't immediately noticeable.

"Okay," Chie whispered once they were in the treeline. "Are you really sure about this one? Cuz like, if you wanna bail on the idea, you can, right now, and I won't give you any shit. I swear."

But Yukiko was already shaking her head from side to side, even before she got halfway through speaking. "I've been looking forward to trying this for so long! Maybe it hasn't always seemed like it, but… how can we know whether or not we enjoy it if we don't try?"

That, as they say, was that.

"Okay…" Chie cleared her throat and tried not to feel too overly self-conscious. "Then take it all off so we can get started."

By far the most difficult thing to endure was watching Yukiko slowly disrobe — which she was clearly doing on purpose, adding to the anticipation. She even did that thing where she paused with the yukata halfway down her back, looking at Chie over her shoulder with a coquettish flutter of her eyelashes. 'Nosebleed City, population: me,' Chie thought to herself. Then she let it drop all the way to the forest floor, pooling amongst the grass and leaves.

Nude… except for two leather straps. One around her neck and another trailing down her back.

"Gooooood," she managed to groan. Then she shook herself and caught up the end of the lead. "Okay, so like… what now? I just take you for a walk?"

"Master, come on," she giggled. "You're not being a good Master." But when Chie frowned, Yukiko fidgeted and added, "I'm sorry. That was supposed to sound teasing, but instead… well, I really am sorry. I was trying to say that you weren't playing your role yet."

"Okay." Taking a deep breath, she cracked her neck and tried to shove away those feelings of inadequacy that had begun to brew. "So you mean I'm supposed to start being a dog owner for real? Like, until we decide we're done and wanna go back inside?"

"Yes," she sighed in obvious relief that Chie wasn't upset with her. "How about this: I'll get on hands and knees, and that's when we start? And I'll stand up if I need to stop."

"Sure yeah, that sounds pretty simple. Go for it when you're ready."

With a small nod, Yukiko stepped out of her zori and into the grass, toes flexing as it tickled them. Her lips quirked into a reassuring little smile before she dropped down to all fours, perky little ass high in the air. Chie wanted to dive right into that inviting sight now — but she could wait. They had a game to play; they could have sex pretty much anytime they were alone together, as long as they were careful about noise levels. And door locks.

"Okay girl, let's go!" she commanded her in a more cheerful tone. This wasn't their first time playing in this way, or even their tenth. They just had never taken the playing outside of a locked bedroom before.

And miraculously… they went. Yukiko started walking along on her hands and knees, making little panting noises now and then. Just to maintain the illusion. Chie was both disturbed and turned on, but that happened a lot during their more adventurous encounters. The more they learned about this strange new culture they were a part of — thanks to the internet — the more intrigued they were, but Chie wasn't as good at taking it in stride as her puppy was.

Her puppy, Yukiko. Still bizarre to her.

"What is it, girl? You like that one?"

"Wan wan!" she yipped joyfully as she continued to mime sniffing a tree.

"Then it's all yours," she laughed easily, reaching down to scratch behind her ear. Her girlfriend hummed at the pleasant sensation, and even tried to jiggle one of her legs. With some success. Then she unclipped the leash from her collar. "Wanna play fetch, Yuka?"

More gleeful barking. So she found a stick and wiped it quickly on her sleeve — which, obviously, she wouldn't do for a real dog like Muku, but she figured she owed Yukiko at least that much.

"Go get it, girl!"

As Chie watched Yukiko, a real human being, bound off into the brush after a stick, she couldn't help feeling that her life had really gotten off track at some point. Mostly, she just wanted to be a semi-normal girl who went to school, hung out with her friends, practiced martial arts. Lately she had been toying with the idea of going into law enforcement when she grew up. Maybe it was because of all their adventures inside the TV, and saving Inaba from the menace of a vengeful god who had judged humanity as both too complacent and too volatile. She had found that not only did her kung fu training really pay off, but she also had enjoyed the idea of saving people more than she expected. And it was important work.

But seeing Yukiko creeping back from the bushes with the stick between her teeth gave her pause. Surely a cop didn't do things like this. Or maybe they did and she was just naive. No matter how many times they discussed the fact that she obviously loved her little Yuka, it still felt foreign and weird to order her around, treat her like property.

Even if they both got off on the roles of master and pet.

They had probably been playing fetch for about twenty minutes when Yukiko dropped the stick at her feet, then reared up to rest her "forepaws" on her master's hips. Barking at her. It was as cute as it was bizarre. Privately, she kept wondering if it hurt her knees to romp around like that, but Yukiko never complained. So she crouched down to scrub all over her hair, disheveling it so badly that she would definitely need to brush it out when they got back to the inn, and her girlfriend responded with more happy yips and licking all over her face.

"AH!" she giggled, trying to push her away without any success. Yukiko could be pretty strong when she set her mind to it. "Cut it out, Yuka! Ewww!"

Of course, this wasn't the first time the kisses had turned to doggy kisses. Though it was still a little icky, it was also highly entertaining for both of them so they had slowly incorporated it into their play. Yukiko's wet pink tongue slathered all over her cheeks, lips, chin… anywhere she could reach. Until finally, Chie grabbed her by the collar and held her back.

"Okay, girl! I love you, too." Yuka barked again so she grinned and pushed their foreheads together. "Who's a happy girl? Huh? Who's my sweet, sweet, happy girl?"

The junior innkeeper's ass wiggled from side to side. They had discussed getting her ears and a tail to help complete the illusion, but decided it would be a lot harder to explain those versus the collar and leash, which could just as easily be for Muku as for Yuka. Besides, she was pretty good at wagging a non-existent tail.

Chie was distracted from her thoughts when she noticed her girlfriend was sniffing around the hem of her skirt. She saw a coy smile grace her lips just before her face shot beneath to nuzzle against her center.

"WHOA!" she gasped — and went down hard on her backside. "Oof!"

When Yukiko's face reappeared, she looked very concerned. Still, they had agreed she was not to break character unless Chie had made it clear that she should.

"I'm okay, girl," she reassured her pet with a shaky laugh. "Just, uh… did not expect you to go for it like that. What is it, girl? Smell something good?" Yukiko gave a very human nod before remembering herself, and letting out a bark instead. "Yeah? Um, y-you want a treat from Master for being so good?"

That prompted a very strong bark, and her girlfriend gave a pronounced wiggle from stem to stern, to make sure there could be no question she really wanted that treat. So Chie leaned back against her elbows, allowing her thighs to fall open. Within a single second, her face was right back between those thighs, snuffling around and making sure her lips and nose were pushing into everything firmly.

And God help her, it was so hot. Every time they played like this, she still expected to feel disgusted regardless of how often she enjoyed it. And then was still surprised again. Maybe she really did have a learning disability of some kind.

When the nuzzling began to feel a little more pointed and purposeful, she realized that Yuka had hit an impasse. Sliding a hand down between them, she shakily tugged the crotch of her panties aside to grant her pet access. No time was wasted. After only a couple of sniffs, a warm, wet tongue was pressing into her needy flesh.

Chie really hoped nobody else would suddenly decide to take a walk through the woods. Not with her screaming out in ecstasy like that, a buck naked girl's face between her legs.

After a few months of trial-and-error, Yukiko Amagi was nothing less than a professional when it came to cunnilingus. That tongue knew every little fold and crease of her lover's sex, and she was an expert at finding the ways to set her off. With almost brutal efficiency, even if the touches were sometimes so light and delicate. Chie gave herself over completely, reaching down to grip her raven locks and hold her in place as she began to buck her hips against that insanely gifted mouth.

So close… "I'm coming! Good girl, Yuka! More!"

Well, she most definitely got what she asked for. At this point the game had been suspended while Yukiko ate her out with all the skills she had learned over the past several months, almost as if someone had challenged her to do the deed as quickly and spectacularly as possible. Her tongue almost seemed to be in two places at once.

Birds took off flying from the treetops when Chie cried out from the climax rocking her entire body, back arching off the forest floor. It was beyond mind-blowing. And all thanks to a good little doggie.

"Tapout!" she finally gasped a few moments later. That was the codeword they had developed for when their eager clits had been overstimulated to the point they couldn't handle any more. Yukiko's tongue disappeared, and she breathed a sigh of relief as her entire body shook and shivered. "Nnhh… oh GOD, that was… super intense!"

A little giggle spilled from the shining lips of her love as she crouched over her. Looking at her with bottomless affection. Just a moment for that to be made known — before she bounced a little. "WAN!"

"Y-yeah… good girl… c'mere…" She patted her chest and Yukiko crawled up to lick all over her face. "AWWW, NOOOO! Yuka, down! C'mooooon!"

Of course, it didn't take long for her to shove her puppy off and to stand up again, though her knees were a bit wobbly. A few deep, cleansing breaths cleared her head enough to clip the leash to Yuka's collar again and set off walking around the woods with her.

"You did such a good job!" she told Yuka — and Yukiko, really. Though she knew she couldn't talk back while they were in the middle of play. "I'm really happy. And even though Narukami's gone, I mean, he'll be back… and the rest of our lives are pretty great. Kinda kicking ass and taking names lately."

"Wan, wan!" Yuka replied. Too cute.

"You like taking walks with Master?" She paused to turn and look up at her, panting with her tongue out; a doggie smile. "Awww, I'm so glad! Sweet baby!"

Yukiko put her paws up again, but this time Chie pointed at her and said, "Down. You know better than that, girl." In response, she let out a little whine and got down on all fours again, looking up at her with large, baleful eyes that would have melted glaciers. "I'm sorry, but you have to behave; I can't have you jumping up on my friends!"

Not that there was any chance of that happening. Even after Naoto had figured it out, they still agreed this was only something for the two of them — nobody else.

Mostly obedient, Yuka pouted a little longer before she resumed trotting through the grass. Once or twice she winced when she crawled over a stick or a rock, but mostly she picked her way around them; they already established their rules for this interaction were no permanent injury. Chie wouldn't begrudge her that, even for the sake of "committing to the role".

They came to a stop nearly half an hour later when Yukiko began sniffing around a white pine tree excitedly. Chie couldn't blame her; evergreens smelled amazing. But as she sniffled… a memory of a previous conversation came back to her master. Were they ready? Most importantly, was Yukiko?

"Okay," she suddenly said, though she could hear the nerves in her own voice. "Mark it so we can go home."

Yukiko's look of surprise was priceless. Even while in Yuka-mode, she couldn't seem to fully suppress that deep level of alarm. But she didn't argue or stand up.

"Go on… if you, um, you need to."

There was a brief moment where it almost looked as if her girlfriend would either cry, or stand up and tell her off. Then she raised one leg…

And let out a golden stream against the bark of the pine's trunk. Chie felt her stomach disappear: she really did it. Her girlfriend, poised, refined innkeeper that she was, a true classic Japanese beauty… was pissing like a dog on a tree. Curiosity spiking, she took a further step to her right to get a better view, and was greeted with the sight of the thin arc of urine issuing from the top of her flawless pink pussy — two fingers on either side, to help keep the liquid from catching on the flushed lips.

Flushed from arousal, from going down on her? Or did she like this? Maybe "like" was too strong a word: Yukiko found it satisfying to be degraded in very small ways, so long as they played into her role of belonging to a loving master. By now, Chie had figured out — thanks in part to her shadow — that this was due to her desire to be cared for, cherished. To belong. Perhaps having to pee like a puppy in the woods pushed the boundary of what constituted a small way, but it wasn't so overboard that she broke character. In that way, it had been a perfect thing to demand of her.

As her thoughts bumped around inside her skull, the stream petered out. Yuka shook her raised leg a little, to rid herself of lingering droplets, then lowered it back to the ground. She was trembling all over, and she winced, but still made no comment.

"Very… good, Yuka," she told her in a distant voice. "Oh wow…"

A whining noise came from her puppy-slash-girlfriend, and she made baleful eyes up at her. Not very often had she witnessed Yukiko's cheeks flushed as they were in that moment. But the moment Chie began to frown, she nuzzled her leg — reassuring her that she was not upset with her. Just that the experience had been a strange, unsettling one.

"Okay, um… well, you did your business, so I guess we, like… should head back? Y-yeah…" But she instead dropped to one knee, pulling her in for a hug. Yuka leaned into the contact gratefully but didn't embrace her back, since dogs didn't use their forelegs like that.

In a flash, she knew what she could do to make her feel better. It was so obvious! After petting over her hair and back a few times, she started sliding her hand all the way back to her rump, then angling downward.

"Wan?" Yuka barked, the noise holding a very human question even if it was animal speech.

"Shhhh, shhh," she soothed her, petting along the damp folds. "Master saw you were really wet back here, girl. I-is it okay if I clean you up?"

Her girlfriend let out some very sensual dog-whines. Which apparently were possible. Chie felt her stomach turn a tiny bit at knowing this wasn't just excitement she was playing around in, because some of it was pee, but probably not much. And either way… it was Yukiko. She didn't mind.

And clearly, neither did Yukiko. As her attentions grew more pointed and firmer, fingers parting the lips and dragging up toward her ass, then back down toward her pulsing clit, the puppy panted and moaned, hips squirming from side to side as if to shake her off. Their past experiences had at least taught them to stop taking that involuntary reaction as a sign that their partner actually wanted them to stop; there had been a few touch-and-go moments thanks to miscommunication. Practice makes perfect, after all.

Kissing the top of her head, Chie whispered, "It's okay, Yuka. Master's gonna take care of you. Just let it feel good, okay? Like you made Master feel good before!"

By now, Yukiko was full-on baying — when she wasn't making more human sounds of pleasure. They were terribly hard to suppress in that state. Her hips were rolling into the contact, begging for more. Not for the first time, Chie wished she had a cock to slam into her — and they had considered buying one, many times. Probably would soon. Maybe even one that had two ends…

Once she started in on her clit, it only took another minute of blistering punishment before Yuka couldn't suppress her climax anymore. Her back arched and she let out a howl as the pleasure racked her body, nearly sending her face-first into the leaves and grass. And even doing something so base, she looked as elegant as always. The magic of Yukiko.

"Gooooood girl!" Chie praised her, kissing between her shoulder blades as her other hand pet up and down her neck. "So good, you were amazing! I'm so proud of my pretty Yuka!"

There was a much more subdued little "Wan" that fell from her lips before she gave a weak wag of her hips from side to side. But at least she was clearly happy.

As they continued their way back to the spot where they left the yukata, Chie was all smiles, and kept praising Yuka or commenting on what they might do later in the day. They had fallen into the habit of Yukiko using happy barks and whines to show her approval or disapproval of their various plans; that way she still got to put in her two yen without fully breaking character. Maybe it was cheating, but who cared?

"God, I could use some lemon soda," Chie sighed as the clothes came into view. "Oh — there we go. Did you have fun out here today, Yuka?"

"WAN!" she barked with a huge, panting grin, bouncing a little. Then she winced. "Nnn…"

"Yuka?" But she shook her head, so Chie sighed and pulled her closer to the clothes. "Mkay, let's get outta here; we still have time to play some Famidrive. Bet I can whoop you in Power Intuition!"

But as Yukiko drew almost right up to the clothes, which would be the official end of their play, Chie suddenly stopped and held the leash taut. There was a quiet gag before her girlfriend turned around to look up at her curiously.

"Wait… um… I was gonna do this later, but I think… I wanna do it now. While you're still on your walk, Yuka." Meaning during play. She actually had been going to wait for her birthday, but that was almost a year away — and she hated that she hadn't thought of it before the last one. Oh well, better late than never.

"Wan?" Yuka asked in concern.

"Huh? O-oh, right! I got you a little something." Kneeling down, she produced it from her jacket pocket and held it out. "Hope you like it, girl."

It was a dog tag. Not just any tag, but a bamboo tag with an elegant burned-in design of flames on one side. When Chie's nervously twitching fingers turned it around, the kanji "優花" were emblazoned on the back: Yuka. Gentle flower.

There was a very real gasp from her girlfriend before she squealed, "CHIE!" and threw her arms around her, bouncing with happiness. Her owner just began to laugh when she suddenly drew back and cleared her throat. "W-wan!"

"It's cool," she laughed as she reached for her collar. "We were almost done, anyway, right? Hmm…" Then she delicately began to attach the tag to her pet. The big grin and the way she could barely keep still was too adorable — and doglike, which continuously surprised her. Even if Yukiko was a beautiful debutante in so many ways, she was also the world's cutest puppy. "There!"

And no sooner had she finished than she was pounced upon, licked all over her face amid a flurry of giggles. After a minute or two, she managed to push the girl away and stood up.

"Okay, you can stand up too now."

"Ohhhh, Chie, it's gorgeous!" Yukiko gushed as she finally rose to her feet, catching up the yukata along the way. "Where did you get it? How long have you been hanging onto this?!"

"Few days," she told her shyly, watching her slip her zori back on. So cute the way her little toes wriggled to slip the thong between them. "J-just… you got me that necklace for White Day, and I don't know why, I didn't even think about-"

"Stop that," she cut her off. "We already discussed this, I told you I wasn't even sure if I should get you something. Since we aren't boyfriend-girlfriend, we are two girls; the rules aren't the same. So you didn't disappoint me!"

Shrugging as she helped her slide the light kimono around her body, she muttered, "Y-yeah, but you still deserved a gift. And we've been going out for like a whole year, so…"

"Almost a year," she whispered back with a twinkle in her eyes. One that made her suspicious.

"Um… you're not planning some kinda crazy thing next month, are you? Like, because it's our anniversary?"

Trying to sound innocent, she pressed a hand into her clothed chest — now that she had finished tying her yukata, naturally. "Why, Chie-chan! Would I do that?"

"Yep. Okay, okay… I guess I do wanna celebrate it, but don't go wacko! Just like, find us something fun. Maybe we can have a nice din-"

"Don't you worry about a thing," she reassured her lover as she linked their arms together. "Just don't be too busy that day and everything will come up roses. Okay?"

Letting out a loud "UGHHHHH", Chie tried to be grumpy as they headed for the edge of the woods, and toward the Amagi Inn beyond. But she still ended up leaning over to whisper, "Fine, I'm excited. Just don't tell anybody."

"Because our relationship is anyone's business as it is," she giggled. "Hmm… are you sure this is the right way?"

As Chie Satonaka stared at the pretty little innkeeper, the shafts of light filtering through the trees, her heart stopped for a moment as time froze. Because her priestess was there, and warm, and real, and so sweet and beautiful. Because they were there together.

"Everything's right, Yukiko," she whispered with a huge, goofy grin. "Everything."

~ THE END ~

#We'll Face Ourselves #chiko #yukiko x chie #persona 4 fanfic #jess the writer #nsfw-text #tbh i almost didn't post this bc i got a bunch of hate on wattpad #on an old fic #idk maybe i should just stop

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wmhalliwell · 5 years

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a stroll back to town - missing 1x08 scene

A missing scene immediately following the wondrous 1x08 clifftop kiss and Sidney and Charlotte's return to town.

A/N: I was thinking about this the other night and then all of a sudden everyone on tumblr and on ao3 was like "what do you think happened?!" so here's my take!

(read on ao3)

They stood in the tugging clifftop wind, heads tilted toward each other, hands resting atop each other’s jackets. Sidney’s, rough and stiff under Charlotte’s small hands. Charlotte’s much softer and gentler under his own.

“Sidney,” Charlotte said, her breath nearly completely taken away from her, eyes lingering shut, desperately wanting more.

He smiled, ever so slightly, at hearing his name on her lips. “Yes?”

She opened her eyes slowly, the tip of her tongue momentarily seen between her lips before she took the tiniest of steps back, nearly drawing him with her. He would have gladly followed, wanting nothing more than to keep her here with him, digging his hands into her wild hair and kissing her until the sun set. But all fanciful desires aside, he was equally contented to have this moment with her.

Charlotte did not typically indulge in selfish behavior. It wasn’t in her nature, but even as her good sense was telling her they should now part and head back to town, keeping a respectable distance from each other, she found herself doing the opposite.

She surprised him by tugging at the lapels of his jacket and kissing him, soft and nervous at first, but accepting of his more experienced guidance. His hands hugged her waist and one of her arms slipped between his jacket and vest, pulling their bodies closer.

Her body flushed with heat from her toes to her cheeks.

Before long, the kiss ended gently, lingering far longer than the first. Hands slowly moved to more respectable places even as their lips continued to pull toward each others like an inexplicable force. Sidney’s breath shuddered out of his body as Charlotte’s hands rested for a moment on his abdomen.

Charlotte’s heart and stomach seemed to flip and twist on their own accord, though the feeling was not unpleasant. She stepped back once again, this time with more conviction. “I think, perhaps, we should continue our walk to town,” she said, breathing harder now than when they’d arrived at the clifftop.

Sidney took a few measured breaths. “Yes, perhaps we should.” And then he smiled because, God willing, he found himself happy for the first time in a very long time. He was finally capable of accepting that, and he was henceforth taken by Charlotte completely, like falling.

She smiled in return, clasping her hands together before her, as if worried what else they may decide to do if she didn’t control them. The air seemed to hum all around them as they walked, having worn out all subject of smalltalk on their way up here. So they walked in companionable silence, one occasionally glancing at the other while they weren’t looking, smiles playing on their faces all their way back to town. Halfway back, Charlotte dropped her hands, planning on busying herself with the childish activity of pinching the fabric of her skirt in between her fingers to give herself something to do.

She had not anticipated the closeness of Sidney, nor the way her heart leaped when their hands brushed against each other. Sidney glanced down as if shocked, and she just so happened to look up at that moment. They flashed nervous smiles at each other before Charlotte cast her eyes toward the rolling green before them.

“Do you suppose,” she started, breaking their silence, “that I may look forward to another dance with you tonight at the Midsummer ball?”

“With certainty,” he said, perhaps a little too quickly. His mind was whirling with emotions and thoughts he hadn’t had all that much time to process just yet. Feelings that swelled in his breast and made him realize how much he had been missing before circumstance brought Charlotte to Sanditon.

Charlotte, likewise was trying to keep her feet moving and head level as new bursts of feelings and thoughts she’d never previously felt came rushing to the surface. “Do you suppose Georgiana will feel well enough to attend?” She was desperately trying to steer the conversation to something more neutral, but she had the chance to let slip her fledgling emotions before she had a moment to formulate them into something more equivalent to Sidney’s words spoken the night before.

“I think so, yes.”

The town came into view. They really had just bypassed the shops, going straight through to the cliffs without even noticing. Charlotte was not rushing to leave his company, but she also wasn’t certain what would happen if they continued walking through down in the other direction. Her head swirled around their kisses atop the cliff and her cheeks flushed once again. It did not help matters when Sidney quite deliberately slid his hand into hers, their palms flat against each other for the briefest of moments before they came into the eyes of too many passersby.

Her breath caught in her throat and Sidney gave her an assured smile as they reached the shops.

“I would wait for you but I have some matters to attend,” he said, as they came to a halt in front of the dress shop.

Charlotte swallowed and glanced from the window and the clothes inside to Sidney, standing tall before her. “Actually, I’m feeling quite winded from our walk. I may return to Trafalgar Place to rest before returning to get my dress.” It was not a lie, as she did in fact feel winded, though not entirely from the walk itself.

He paused before he seemed to come to his senses. “Of course. I was going to stop in and see Georgiana…”

There was an awkward moment where Sidney frowned a little and Charlotte gathered up her senses and started walking. He fell into place beside her and they continued the little ways to the Parker residence, surrounded by the people of the once-village.

“Thank you, Mister Parker,” she said, as they neared the end of their journey. Mrs. Griffiths’ was just before Trafalgar Place and they paused in the road.

He looked at her in slight preoccupied confusion.

“For the cliffside walk,” she continued, head tilting to the side. “It was...inordinately enlightening.”

He found her eyes then, and his were soft and kind and made her stomach flutter. His smile was appropriately affectionate, if such a gesture could hold that kind of emotion. “I look forward to seeing you tonight, Miss Heywood,” he said, to which she smiled brightly and nodded. “As do I,” she replied.

They lingered another moment or two before turning their backs on each other to complete their walk to their respective destinations. Sidney paused and looked back as Charlotte got to the front steps, allowing himself one private moment of thought and feeling and intent before she disappeared into the house.

Mary had not been waiting for Charlotte specifically, but she did show a special interest in the younger woman’s return.

“Did you make it to your dress fitting?” she asked, standing from her place at the table in the drawing room.

Charlotte felt mildly dazed and blinked herself back to the reality around her at Mary’s words. “I...no.”

Mary moved toward her with a motherly advance. “Did something happen?”

Charlotte suddenly felt flustered anew. “Yes.”

Mary waited expectantly, though she did herd the poor girl to the sofa as it looked like Charlotte could very well faint, despite her naturally hardy nature. “Is there anything I can do?”

Charlotte was thankful for the seat as her heart beat wildly beneath her ribs like a bird in a cage. “I think there is nothing to do but wait for tonight.”

“For the ball?”

“Yes.”

Mary was a smart woman, and it took little else for her to be able to form her own speculations of what had occurred between Sidney and Charlotte. “Well then,” she said, taking Charlotte’s hand in her own. “We shall make you look as elegant as a princess.”

“I’m no princess,” Charlotte laughed, shaken from her mild shock at her emotions.

Mary smiled. “In any case...why don’t you eat something to regain your strength. I shall go with you to your dress fitting. And, if you wish, you can tell me about your...walk.”

She stood and helped Charlotte to her feet. With her own mother and sisters so far away, Mary was Charlotte’s lone confidant. She had already tried expressing her confusion and emotions to Georgiana but that had no gone over so well.

“Yes, all right,” Charlotte said before she made her way to the kitchens, having no qualms about gathering food for herself. It would do for a distraction, something to ground her whilst her heart wished to carry her off into the sky.

A/N: I love how everyone in the fandom has agreed that Charlotte is a thirsty binch even if she doesn't understand why. I am living with this characterization!

PS. you're welcome for Charlotte saying Sidney's name, I know y'all have been complaining we never got her calling him by his name in the show (at least not to his face).

#sanditon #sidlotte #sanditon fanfic #sidlotte fanfic #viviansternwood #charlotte x sidney #sidney x charlotte #mine #**#there's even some insight into sidney's feelings this time around

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battleshell · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @dansiere whom im care tagging: extremely informative meme for ppl who have lots of cross-over interactions, i encourage u to steal it from me anyway BUT @sternenteile @twelvians @stellamris @grandtales

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is a very, very minor NPC that i’ve essentially wrested from the game with my grubby hands; Gerson is a merchant NPC found in Waterfall, the third area of the game focused with water themes. he has less than 100 lines of dialogue (but jam-packed full of info) and doesn’t even have an overworld sprite. although noted to have a history with multiple major characters, it’s not often i’ve seen him be the main focus of any fanfics or art pieces. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ put that faaaaaaaar away from me please tyty ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ i personally believe that Gerson is a strong and potentially powerful monster with fighting capability that could rival some of the stronger Monsters in the Underground due to his background as a fighter during the Human-Monster War, but since has waned in both reputation and fighting skill. we never fight him in game and as such, will never see how he compares numerically, but it’s clear from his dialogue that he knows how to fight professionally/cleverly and would have given a hard challenge. ]

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ i mentioned before that Gerson has ties with lots of major characters - I hardly see it being put into action or talked about! i also have a soft spot for elder/older characters in general since they seem to be overlooked in favor for younger characters that carry the action of plots - which I understand and totally get, but I still like to put these characters out there for the sake of it ]

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ he was a funny merchant dude that said “wahaha” a whole bunch of times and carried a magnifying glass; sure he and Frisk would have been good friends after the golden ending but most people have forgotten about their interaction with Gerson once out of Waterfall ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ as one of the older if not oldest Monsters in the Underground, or from his reputation as the “Hammer of Justice” from wartime. he is also a historian and is noted to have written a few of the books in the Librarby. definitely known in the Underground, but probably only in that community ]

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ as mentioned before, a benefactor to the community and maybe even a sagely figure. a source of wisdom (even if cheeky) and a person of stability ]

How strictly do you follow canon? — ehhhhhhhhhh both extremely canon compliant and then hands off the wheel, let jesus drive me away~ i only have so much canon material to work with so i have milked as much as offered to me, then went off to forge my own path in order to patch up the missing holes then add a few sprinkles. the base of the character is all there, but if you really want to get invested with him (or me) then we have a lot to walk through.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — old tortoise (NOT TURTLE) guy sells knick-knacks and cracks jokes, knows everyone’s dirty secrets but thinks they’re just funny to think about them than use them. an elder in the community who has stories to tell and lessons to teach, who has lived through half of recorded history and now spends his time just trying to make things around him interesting. a war veteran who protects his community and understands the horror of the world, but keeps eyes looking into the future even in the face of grimness itself. plays the accordion and harmonica, could probably square dance if he knew what that was. will call you kiddo.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — little to no motivation to find a passion for himself that would benefit or service just himself; his entire sense of worth comes from servicing others in some way (being a soldier and protecting people; recording history in order to teach future generations; maintaining a shop in order to literally service others) and lack of action due to decrepitude in old age. close-minded compared to other Monsters, as he doesn’t actually take to think of humans or outsiders kindly; judgmental to the point of being racist. proud and dislikes being one-upped that it could lead to pettiness, and despite his positive outlooks, very pessimistic worldview.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — funfact: Gerson is my first tumblr RP muse ever, and since i was worried about duplicate anxiety when i first started i specifically wrote him since he was a smaller character with less attention - i’ve since learned i have no anxiety about it so it’s no longer a problem, but what keeps me going today is the challenge of writing someone so different from me. the elder aesthetic along with homely, almost cottagecore kind of vibe is also appealing, and the humor that comes with gerson is a joy to write out.

What keeps your inspiration going? — reading literature, music, artwork, pinterest, replaying the game, and doing little hobbies that would embody the character (collecting or sewing, for example) are things i can do by myself, but with other people i have the most drive when i can have friendly and nonpersonal arguments/debates about character motives or about source material like what made a character act like this or that, or about really anything as long as it makes me seriously think about characters critically and force me to recognize flaws.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ unfortunately i’m not a tortoise monster who lived for probably centuries if not decades older than myself, but i enjoy writing older characters and hope that other ppl see the potential gerson has like i do ]

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ bro i should.. ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ hmu if you got pinterest and i’ll give u tons and tons of boards ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ this is unfair to answer as (AFAIK) i am the only person writing Gerson in... any capacity. despite that i like to think i bring out the humorous side of him, and show ppl that he and other NPCs are tons of potentials and shouldn’t be overlooked because they aren’t popular ]

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. [ i always believed my style and my skill in not only PSDs or aesthetics, but analysis or understanding was always a bit plain, without much flourish or complexity. while that is appealing on its own and has its own merits, i can’t help but feel i can always push myself to do a little more, add a little flavor, or paint an image that could only be done in writing. although i am doing enough to get the job done, i’m searching for a certain voice of writing that i like and want to integrate into creative writing in order to make it more personalized and more engaging. ]

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / SORTA. [ i despise pussyfooting and will often tell ppl straight up if i have a problem with them or something about them; straightforwardness, honesty, and integrity are some of my core values and that includes being harsh if it comes to it in order to keep order ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — assuming it’s rooted in goodwill or from a point of analysis, absolutely! it’s one of the direct sources for growth and getting better at any craft, but as Tumblr loves to be.... jumpy, i’m always cautious when its not from someone i know.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — YEA BUDDYYYYY

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — absolutely, i thrive off friendly discourse as i mentioned.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — if we don’t discuss it as above, in lit any other case i’d say “well there are other blogs to follow” but since i’m like 99% sure i’m the only gerson blog that isn’t applicable lmao; the point still stands that everyone has the freedom to write a character as they wish. there are valid reasons to dislike a portayal but not a lot of valid reasons to attack someone for it - with the exception of ppl being gross. stop that, nasty.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — strangely. it’s not my job to make people like a character, you either like them or not. if you dislike them for unreasonable points then, to leave in the previous response, “clowns will be clowns, no matter what you do. I just don’t get why you would follow someone if you hate their character to begin with.”

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — of course, as long as it’s polite and all that jazz!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — depends on the meaning - i like making new friends and i find it easy to talk to new people, be it about roleplay or other things like organizing video game play sessions. however, i also have on multiple occasions have approached ppl privately saying “this is annoying/this is problematic/this is inappropriate, stop” and been met with general disdain for voicing such so Who Knows..... (tm). at least on a private level. here, publicly, i’m pretty relaxed! memes and jokes are abound. as long as a person can be mature and responsible for their actions we can vibe, yo.

#definitely plan to link this in rules or something #as a guide for newcomers #what a nice meme!#* verbatim ⟐ meme.

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