#i need feedback on my writing

[muffinlance]

Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???

Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:

Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.

"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.

None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.

An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:

I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it

I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.

Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”

TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.

[eightyuh]

CHAPTER 2

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: 😳. Iiiii ... Ok. So I'm never this creative to think of such things like ... oh, idk. Kafka likes to roleplay with his girl - kinda fucked up things. Like, being a little rough in bed. Both ways - roughing and being roughed up. Idk. I just totally see him being the best fucking husbando/boyfriendo ever. Sorry Draken, Chifuyu, Mitsuya, oh god, and Baji. ANYWAY. Yeah. This Kafka stuff just keeps oozing from my fingers and I'm in no hurry to stop. I hope you guys enjoy this!

C/W ::: Roleplay (on the rougher side - not violent, per se - but not like petting a kitten either ... no pun intended), unprotected P->V, hands-on stuff, a little tossing of the other person around but like I said, I don't think it's like, too too rough. You've read this far, heed the warning if you think this won't be for you =). That's why we put them here!

WC ::: Under 1,200 (I'm coming back around, you guys!!)

MDNI UNDER THE CUT PLEASE, THANK YOU.

You bite your bottom lip as Kafka growls against your skin. His words and his tone are harsh, but his touch … it’s painfully soft. The slight pressure of his mouth, the rasp of his tongue against the sensitive skin of your neck. It makes your stomach flutter, and your eyes roll back.

He breathes heavily against you as he moves his mouth lower, to your shoulder, then down, across your collarbone and back up again.

"You're sending me really, really mixed signals here, Kafka. You're mouth is literally saying one thing while your body does another."

"You don't say," he says.

"I do say."

He huffs and lifts his head to look you in the eyes, his own dark, pupils blown wide. "What do you want me to say?" he says, his voice low, rough. "That I like you?

"I mean, yeah. That would be nice. But maybe a little consistency first?"

"I like you," he says, "But I also hate you. So I don't know. What should I do?"

You try to shimmy away from him but his grip just tightens and there's no way you can get out of his arms.

He leans in, his breath tickling your ear and you shiver. "Do you want me to let you go?" he whispers.

"What I want is ..." You sigh, "What I want," you say slowly, "Is for you to get over yourself." You take a deep breath. "I know that you want me, at the very least. Why are you being so gentle and rough with me at the same time?"

He huffs. "It's complicated," he says. "I like you. I do. And .... But ..."

"But what?" You ask.

"But nothing. It's not important."

He looks down again at your body pressed into the mattress. His hands sliding down your shoulders to your elbows.

You try to wiggle your wrist free from his large hand. You want to grab him by the chin and make him look you in the eye, but he still has an unreasonably tight grip on you.

He glances at you through his lashes, his mouth curled into a devious smirk. "You want something, little one?"

You shout, "That's it! That's it! I've had enough of your patronizing. You're gonna get it now, Kafka."

You can feel your temperature rise and your willpower falter. Mustering every tiny little ounce of strength you have in your much smaller body you flip him over so he's on his back. Though you have a feeling that he went willingly. You don't care though. You're just happy that the tables have turned - in your favor, too.

For now, anyway.

You squat over him on the bed and straddle his torso, placing your knees on either side of his ears, careful not to put too much pressure on his chest.

He laughs at you and asks why you're not putting your full weight down on him. "You think you're gonna hurt me, you little fly."

You see him smile at you, a sharp-toothed grin. "Come on," he says, "You're not going to hurt me. I want you to give it your best shot, though. G'head."

You lean forward, putting your full weight on him and he laughs. "Oh-hoh, now you've done it," he says. "You should not have done that."

The laughter stops and his eyes narrow as you press your hand to his cheek, running your thumb across his bottom lip. He leans forward, trying to bite at your fingers and you pull your hand away, making him growl again. This time in frustration, you’re sure of it. 

You place your hand on his throat, pushing him back down onto the bed.

"Enough," you say, your voice low, barely more than a whisper. "It's time to stop playing around."

His eyes widen as you lean in, pressing your mouth against his. He stiffens at first, but then relaxes, his mouth opening under yours.

His tongue brushes against your lips, and you open for him, your own tongue meeting his.

You can taste the sweetness of his mouth, and the taste makes you hungry for more. You press closer, your teeth clicking together as you try to deepen the kiss.

Kafka wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer as you continue to kiss. You feel his cock harden against your thigh and you moan.

You press your hips down, rubbing against him, his cock sliding against your pussy through the thin black lace of your underwear.

You break the kiss, panting, your body is on fire.

Kafka groans as you begin to rock your hips, grinding your pussy harder yet against his cock.

"Fuck," he whispers, his eyes glazed over, his lips swollen from your kiss.

You reach between you, grabbing his cock, squeezing it tightly as you stroke it, your hand sliding up and down his shaft.

"Do you want me?" you ask, leaning in, your lips brushing against his.

"Yes," he says, his voice rough, his breathing ragged. "Fuck yes."

"Then," you say, kissing him deeply. "take me, Kafka."

An animalistic sound escapes his throat as he flips you over onto your back, his body pressing you down into the bed.

You moan as he pushes his cock inside you, stretching you open. He fills you completely, his cock buried to the hilt in your pussy.

He begins to move, his thrusts slow and steady as he fucks you, his cock sliding in and out of you. Your walls squeeze him tightly.

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as you rock your hips, meeting his offerings.

You look up at him, face flushed.

He looks down at you, his expressions are intense, but he never shifts his focus. His movements become harder, faster. Almost desperate in his attempt to navigate this fare.

You gasp as you feel him hit just the right spot, making your vision blur. You dig your nails into his back, clinging to him as your orgasm hits you like a surprise wave. Despite knowing full well what the outcome of this would be, the result never ceases to amaze you.

He never ceases to amaze you.

Kafka groans, his thrusts becoming erratic. As he fucks you through your orgasm, he approaches his own.

He slams his cock into you one last time, his body going rigid as he begins to cum, his cock pulsing heavily as he fills you with all he's got.

You cling to him, your bodies pressed together, your heart racing as you both come down from the almost violent release of energy.

Kafka rests his forehead against yours, his breathing ragged.

"You are amazing," he whispers. "Absolutely … fucking ... amazing."

You smile and kiss him softly, your fingers stroking his cheek. "I almost believed you for a minute there, Kaf. Your growly voice is super sexy, but my god. I thought you were a little pissed for a second. Let's do this again. Soon, mm?"

You lift his chin to take stock of his face and you know you'll never tire of seeing his kind eyes looking back at you. "Hey, I love you, you know."

You can't see it, but you're pretty sure he's blushing. The heat radiating from his face against your shoulder washed up like a sunrise; It was slow, but you felt every little prickle of warmth overtake everything it touched.

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin.

"I love you too," he whispers. "You know I do. You know I'll never stop, yeah?"

You smile and close your eyes, letting the near total darkness of the room wrap you both up in a blanket of promises.

@southside-otaku @kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo

@supersecretsaga @trevengersprincess @reiners-milkbiddies

@arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82 @bakubunny

[matcha-binz]

🧸 . drabble mdni.

cute boyfriend beomgyu, loves being called pretty, loves when you push his hair behind his ear and call him your pretty boy. But he loves it more when you call him your slut. The nickname has him reeling, eyes rolling back, whimpering. Subby!gyu is smth i can't get over, especially in his long hair era, he'd love to get his hair pulled while you make him eat your out, humping the bed and shit, the sensation of his hair being pulled makes him let out the sluttiest, high-pitched whimper against your pussy. And you get off on it, honestly. Call him your slut, call him your fucktoy and watch him nod his head, whimpering and moaning dumbly, getting lost in the taste of your pussy.

drabble cute boyfriend beomgyu, loves being called pretty, loves when you push his hair behind his ear and call him your pretty boy. But he loves it more when you call him your slut. The nickname has him reeling, eyes rolling back, whimpering. Subby!gyu is smth i can't get over, especially in his long hair era, he'd love to get his hair pulled while you make him eat your out, humping the bed and shit, the sensation of his hair being pulled makes him let out the sluttiest, high-pitched whimper against your pussy. And you get off on it, honestly. Call him your slut, call him your fucktoy and watch him nod his head, whimpering and moaning dumbly, getting lost in the taste of your pussy.

"m-mhm! yes, baby, m' y-your slut! ah..." "N-no! keep going, p-please~... been a good boy please p-please let me cum..!"

also we have to bring up dacryphilia. I just know what a sight it would be, riding beomgyu, his hands pressed beside his head by your hands, having him weak underneath you as he lets out high pitched and whiney moans, hips bucking up into yours that were barely hovering over his, whimpering and stuttering out "p-please don't- ah! tease..." with tears sticking to his ridiculously pretty lashes.

[soullessseraphim]

Valdemar - Touch headcanons

-Valdemar isn't very touchy, but it is only because they don't see the point. Not that they don't like it, it just doesn't come to their mind : you'll ask them for a hug and they will respond something like "what for ?". I think it's mainly because they've lived for so long. When you keep living for centuries and the people around you wither away, you kind of learn how to detach yourself from them and avoid getting attached as to not suffer unnecessarily in the end. So imagine the shock when you're starting to get attached to them and they realize they're also kind of attached to you.

-once persuaded you need it however, they will give small affectionate touches here and there (a hand on small of the back, a kiss on the forehead, resting their head on your shoulder while they watch you do something, holding your hand) ; they have to remember what physical affection is like, because they gave it so little importance since they've turned into a demon. A little awkward at first but they get the hang of it eventually.

-What about intimacy? You will have to prove to be the most trustworthy and respectful person in the world for them to even show their hands. But once you do gain their trust, something like (the bath scene) will happen. But if you try initiating anything too drastic they're more likely to back off. They need their own pace and will allow you very progressively (and I mean very progressively) to initiate anything serious. However it'll never go further than a make-out session. Never.

-Don't expect them to be affectionate in public, no no. Valerius commented on how they'd gotten softer once and the poor man found himself strapped to a chair and forced to watch them dissect someone. If you try : will nudge you or tap your hand away. Not to be mean, they just don't want to.

-Overall, where they're most affectionate is in bed. They'll hold you while you sleep, as you'll hold them. But that's really it.

-However there is one exceptional instance where their behavior will shift completely : It is if you make a deal to live as long as they will. They'll- they'll break down. You've never seen them cry before but this sure is going to bring tears to their eyes. They won't break out sobbing but will hug you for two hours straight, occasionally sniffling. Because it means that now they can get attached. Now they don't have to worry about you being mortal anymore. Now they can allow themselves to love you. It'll take them some time to fully come to terms with the fact that they are having feelings again, since it's a very human thing, but with your support and patience, they'll manage to let themselves feel fully. They're still a little reserved, especially in public, though now that you're immortal too, they've considered making your relationship public.

Then they will be much more affectionate with you. Expect more hugs, more hand holding, more kisses, a bit more frequent make-out sessions, some dancing even.

-Congrats you two are alive forever now. You'll make a legendary duo in scientific history.

________!_Bonus Headcanons_!________ @lunumochi :D

-So I've already explored cat-like behavior with them ('so why is it that when I-', am I right?) and I headcanon they stand in rays of sunlight with their eyes half closed like our beloved furballs do. Or like reptiles. I don't know. I'm pretty sure they have vertical translucid eyelids underneath the normal ones. It's warm. It's nice. You can almost hear them purring (they don't, you're just imagining it). But they don't actively think about it you know, they just be walking and suddenly there's a warm ray of sunlight hitting them and they freeze in their tracks like 'huh. That's nice.' and then will stay close to the window half asleep for... A while.

-Speaking of sleep, I think they actually sleep. Just... They do it for three days straight every seven months. 

[lu-inlondon]

It's always great to get the confirmation that students weren't listing in class. Like, at all.

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

[dapper-lil-arts]

Thought i might as well make an icon for my ponysona! fitting for that fimfiction website.

[aardvaark]

scooby doo but instead of solving mysteries they just beat up cis people out of nowhere

"i would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you meddling ‘cisphobes’"

[ID in alt]

[therantingsage]

Hey Too Close gang uh. This. Lemme know what y'all think :P

[eldrith]

I’ll get around to the 11 or so anons that just popped up in my inbox telling me they didn’t like my a golden cage fic or the way i write eventually 🫶🏻

but fr im gonna take a step back with the discourse and answer other stuff,… maybe ill pretend i never posted anything on this fucking website for a bit lmao😭 peace and love

[blorbocedes]

prompt: lewis' film debuting at cannes, nico only an hour away

Lewis' film is premiering at Cannes. Nico takes his daughters to go.

It's apparently in collaboration with Liberty Media, lots of big Hollywood A-listers attached as producers, and actual F1 tracks and cars in use. The story is loosely based on Lewis' life, the titular Black kid from a small town in England becoming the Greatest Of All Time. So not too loosely, the main character is named Louis Harrison after all.

It's the kind of feel-good inspirational movie that Nico thinks is important for his girls to watch. The promotion for the film went all out, inviting all F1 stars. Nico himself has been vaguely aware of this film, his social media guy told him his mentions and engagement was way up ever since the main cast included a German blonde, with some speculating it would focus on the "silver war." He clarified to the German tabloids he had absolutely nothing to do with the making of the film after they spread rumours about it being a collaboration.

His daughters, like their father, love to dress up and they walk the red carpet hand in hand in their matching floral dresses, and Nico in his organic, tailored velvet green suit; pausing for the photos.

Their seats aren't too awful, very middle of the pack. A few rows ahead Nico can recognize Lewis from the distinctive shape of his braids, and glittery jacket; talking to someone Nico assumes is the director. Nico never quite had that Hollywood fever, but it seems Lewis is enjoying his retirement.

As the theatre goes dark, his daughter appropriately chastises him for having his phone out, texting Vivian a thumbs up on when she wants the girls home before pocketing it. It starts off with Young Lewis -- or Louis -- watching Senna race, a voiceover about dreams and becoming the best. The younger actor is appropriately charming, doesn't have Lewis' gap tooth but has a mean scowl when people underestimate him. It reminds him a lot of the real Lewis. The usual diatribe about the humble beginnings, the actor playing Anthony being Louis' one man pit crew taking him to races within England, an incredible wholesome father-son racing representation, one Nico was lucky to experience in his own life.

Moving on to karting years, Louis as the only black kid getting certain looks from the rest of the boys, lily-white and jealous. One even shoves him while walking past, making a pointed racially charged comment. There is a time when Nico would've assumed this is exaggerated for dramatic purposes, that his experience on the paddock, even being around Lewis as tightknit as they were, was never that bad. But he knows better now, that there's some things he will simply never experience or flew over his head at that age, and makes a mental note to bring it up with his girls and make it a teachable moment later.

And then, a young blonde boy with the thickest German accent congratulates Louis on winning the race, and Louis' eyes go wide. "You're Julian Richter. Your family is racing legend, man."

Julian. Nico snorts. He supposed it's better than Erik or Klaus as far as stereotype go. He tries not to read too much into it, as Julian and Louis become best friends -- skateboarding on the tracks, instead of unicycling, probably to seem cooler or relating to the kids, -- and karting teammates. Something wistful in Nico aches when the scene is on a beach in Spain, and the characters in the face of their uncertain futures promise they're going to become F1 World Champions together.

The story focuses on Louis' unlikely odds, a chance meeting with an F1 team principal, nothing but a handshake promise and then the road to F1, to win on his rookie year.

And then Julian enters Formula 1. And then Julian signs with Redbull. And then Julian wins consecutive championships, in the backdrop of which his and Louis' friendship crumbles in jealousy and competitiveness, and Nico feels sick to his stomach because Julian Richter is Sebastian Vettel, and the racing legend family he comes from -- the Richters -- are the fucking Schumachers.

The regulations change, Louis starts winning, he has a famous actress of a girlfriend, there's a love story angle. It isn't until Louis wins his 4th title that Julian comes over to congratulate him, both equals again -- remember what we promised on that beach in Spain? and their friendship rekindles. If the timeline Nico's keeping track of adds up, that makes it 2016. His daughter excitedly squeezes his hand when the two characters embrace on screen, making up.

The third act conflict sets the stage for Abu Dhabi 2021, naturally. But before that, it does show Louis becoming complacent with winning, arrogant and cocky as his celebrity profile increased, a rocky relationship. And then, the Niki Lauda wise mentor older character who was there for Louis all this time passes, and it tugs at the heartstrings -- is also Louis' wake up call to change. His girlfriend ends things with him. The young Belgian villain has fully set the stage.

There's a lot of emphasis how winning this final race will match Harrison to Richter's record, the legacy of it all. And then, the controversial safety car decision. Louis Harrison has the championship slip out of his fingers. The crowd gasps, the FIA are not painted charitably, stubbornly sticking to the decision out of 'decorum' after the Mercedes team argues for it to be reversed. Someone definitely boos from the back.

One thing Nico can admit is the racing scenes are quite fun and realistic, even if Toto doesn't break headphones quite as often and once a car was in 5th gear instead of 3rd.

The Julian Richter character shows up after the race to tell Louis he's retiring to go plant trees, and that Louis needs to "win it back and match my dad's legacy, it's what he would've wanted." Nico wishes he knew where Sebastian was so they could lock eyes in this moment at this Frankenstein caricature of them, that exists only to support Louis.

'Loosely based' is correct, because this shows the next season after a lot of sulking and Louis not believing in himself, the Mercedes is immediately competitive instead of whatever the W-13 was. It's a repeat of the 2021 season, which is a repeat of the 2016 season when Julian and Louis were bitter rivals. Louis is also more outspoken now, and shows how he's changed. It all comes down to the final race. The film narrates the speech from the beginning, of believing in yourself, there's a montage of Louis ever since he was a kid falling and getting back up with dramatic music swelling, and then a shot of him slapping down his visor. Lights out and away we go.

Louis Harrison wins the race.

They got Crofty to do a voiceover line for 'This year while off the track Louis Harrison has found his voice, and on it, once again he’s found his groove, and now he finds himself alongside Richter, as top in the record books, the world championship record is equaled,' His girlfriend jumps into his arms in parc ferme. Somewhere, Julian is planting a tree and smiling at the small radio. It's hugs and kisses all around the team, champagnes bursting.

The actual crowd erupts in cheers of emotional catharsis, and it cuts to a future scene of the real Lewis Hamilton in an interview setting, being asked about how he feels about his journey in F1 and if he ever thought he would make it -- if he believed in himself, winks at the camera.

The screen goes black. A Kendrick Lamar song plays as the credits roll.

There is a minutes long standing ovation, which Nico stands and encourages his daughters to clap along, with an inscrutable feeling in his chest. It was a good movie, very awards season bait, the director and lead actors are on stage giving a speech about how much it means to be able to inspire young people with Hamilton's real life story. Nico walks down the steps with others almost on autopilot.

He hadn't realized it, he didn't know he'd been holding out some tiny shred of hope that they would watch this film and through sheer nostalgia of shared memories, he and Lewis would have something to talk about again. He didn't realise how much weight he'd held to those childhood memories until he saw it be attributed to Sebastian Vettel of all people, who was too young to kart with them. It's a piece of fiction, that Nico has no right to harbour resentment towards, he tells himself.

Nico stops for a second, and is in direct eyeline of Lewis in his glittery jacket who is conducting an interview. He feels frozen when they lock eyes.

"People are saying the true heart of the film is Julian and Louis' friendship. How closely does it mirror real life from the actual F1 scene? Like the whole best friends as kids. Would you say you guys are still close friends now, and will the driver it's based on be attending the screenings like a few other F1 drivers have?"

"Yeah definitely, man, as fans have already figured out that friendship is loosely based on my friendship with Seb -- Sebastian Vettel. And yeah, it's -- you've been racing these guys since you're in karting, you feel like you've known them your whole life. [...] No, I don't think Seb's attending, this isn't really his scene."

Lewis meets Nico's eyes for a split second, before turning back to the camera. Nico carefully plucks the emotion he's feeling for something to be discussed with a licensed professional. To be quite honest, he didn't know Lewis could still make him feel like this.

His daughter tugs at his suit jacket sleeve, and Nico guides them towards the vegan ice cream and gelato stalls. There's a PG rated animated film screening at 4.

[homestuckreplay]

Homestuck Is A Game, Who Is The Player?

Week 3 Retrospective

'Video games have long been associated with spectatorship as well as play, from their origins in quarter-fueled arcades, where high score displays implied the presence of admiring or competitive spectators, to their migration to home screens and consoles. Live streaming chat emulates these older models, but its interaction with economies of scale on streaming platforms brings a different kind of intimacy and intensity to the experience. Chat lets spectators feel like they are there with the streamer as well as a part of a crowd, even if they are alone in their room.' [Jeremy Antley - emphasis mine]

From Homestuck’s very first page, the comic has made something clear. We are not allowed to immerse ourselves in John Egbert’s world. There is a layer of separation between us, an interface mediating our access to his life and story, a voiceover narration from the person who’s really in control. Who is this person, and what form does their control over John take?

Homestuck is presented like a video game, yet unlike a video game, we don’t control the character’s movements with arrow keys or have the chance to type our own commands directly into the text box. Instead of being able to explore the game on our own terms, we are confined to a specific and predetermined route, even though others seem theoretically possible. Simply put, we are not the ones playing the game.

Essay continued under the cut - about 2.6k words

I think there are two really important questions to consider when analyzing the meta elements of Homestuck and treating it as a game. The first - what kind of game is it? The second - where exactly do we stand in relation to the player(s)?

The most obvious answer to question one is ‘Homestuck is a text based adventure game.’ This guide to text based adventures is a great overview, and we can map the example commands here onto commands we’ve seen in Homestuck. ‘Examine room’ (p.4) is a one-word action, ‘Captchalogue smoke pellets’ (p.9) is an action and direct object, and ‘Nail poster to wall’ (p.19) includes the indirect object. John hasn’t given any orders yet - he’s too nice a guy for that - but ‘Report progress to TG’ (p.39) is definitely communicating with another character. All of these, and most other command lines, feel like reasonable instructions that could be recognized by a game.

However, commands like ‘Fondly regard cremation’ (p.52) and ‘Play haunting piano refrain’ (p.77) honestly feel too characterful to be fully interpreted by a computer, and ‘Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk’ (p.16) is… well, I tried typing this into the command prompt for the classic text adventure Zork, and got the following response.

A text adventure is just not set up to interpret wacky, left field ideas, much less respond to them in an entertaining way. And we know there is a real person behind Homestuck doing exactly that.

If my party enters the wizard’s study in Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition, and I tell the Dungeon Master that I squawk like an imbecile and sit on the wizard’s desk, that statement will be understood. Sure, the DM will probably call me an idiot and put a nasty spike trap on the desk, but what I said will become part of the story in the way that a nonsense command in a text based video game never can. It’s interesting to think of Homestuck as a tabletop roleplaying game, where the narrator is the Game Master, the command prompt is a player, and John is a player character (presumably TT, TG and GG are the rest of his party and they’re just really late to the session).

Homestuck isn’t just text based, though - it has a strong visual element, including interfaces and overlays where the player can click and drag items between John’s inventory and his environment, or around his space. This suggests it could also be a point and click adventure game, a genre that grew out of text based games as graphics improved, and is defined by a strong inventory management component (check), puzzle solving quests (check - we’ve recently solved our first quest of acquiring the Sburb Beta) and dialog trees (????). The sprite based, isometric art style is really good for getting an overview of the space and seeing possible interactable objects, and Homestuck does feature extended dialog sequences - we don’t know if there are other possible inputs from John, but it's interesting to think that there might be.

These three genres - text based adventures, point and click adventures, and tabletop roleplaying games - all developed throughout the 1970s and 80s. It’s reasonable that Andrew Hussie (born 1979) could have grown up with some of these games. But to answer the second question, ‘where do we stand in relation to the player’, we might need to look at media forms still in their infancy - let’s plays, livestreams, and actual play.

[Michael Sawyer, 2004]

In the past few years, ‘Let’s Play [Game]’ has become a relatively popular thread format on the Something Awful forums, as well as personal websites. This began with posters taking screenshots of their playthroughs of a game and adding commentary in the text. The medium has now advanced to video and is typically hosted on YouTube, with commentary overlaid. Either format gives a creator the space to play through as much of the game as they choose, and then edit exactly what content they want to show to the audience, providing commentary after the fact. 

Homestuck, with its per-page illustrations, could be seen as a long thread of forum posts by the player, each including screenshots as they move through the game. The inclusion of short Flash animations shows the edge into video, and makes me wonder if we’ll see longer or more complex videos, perhaps with voiceover narration, as Homestuck expands its focus. The self-referential and aggressive yet helpful commentary in Homestuck is similar in tone to Sawyer's playthrough above, and could easily be the work of a player who knows where the story will go, at least in the short term, and is dropping hints to the audience while purposefully concealing some things.

Livestreaming video games is a similar concept to Let's Plays, but performed in real time. Often hosted on Justin.tv, an open video broadcast website that’s been gaining prominence in the past couple of years, a livestream is an improvised and unedited way to watch someone game. Any commentary from the creator happens without knowledge of how the playthrough will turn out. Homestuck, by Hussie’s own admission, is being written similarly in real life - they don’t know more than the broad strokes of how the story will go, and it’s possible that neither the author nor the narrator knows the long term implications of an action such as John stealing his dad’s PDA. 

Livestreams open the possibility for viewers to influence game events, if the streamer listens to their audience. We know this is true in Homestuck - readers are able to submit commands, and some are chosen for the story. The real time nature of Homestuck, waiting each day for the new update, is equivalent to waiting for a streamer to come online and start playing again so we can find out where their game goes next. This is compounded by us having no access to Homestuck outside of the streamer - we cannot buy and play this game for ourselves, it’s still in some kind of early or limited access, and the streamer controls all our knowledge. 

The livestream is definitely most similar to how Homestuck is made by its author, but it's hard to say whether its narrator is commentating in real time, or after the fact. I can't find any definite clues in our pages so far - I think the narrator wants to seem smart and superior, but I can't say whether they have the knowledge to back it up.

[img source]

Our final media format is known as Actual Play. Almost a year ago, the creators of Penny Arcade (along with Dungeons & Dragons game designer Chris Perkins) began releasing Acquisitions Incorporated, a short-run, officially licensed podcast where the group plays through a D&D adventure to demonstrate gameplay interspersed with jokes. This isn’t the first time a TTRPG publisher has recorded sessions to help people learn the game, but this idea seems to be crossing over into the entertainment genre - and webcomics are part of that movement.

In the first episode, the group have a brief aside. The DM says that ‘some players prefer to refer to their characters in the third person… others prefer to get into the first,’ and one player says they’ve observed the same thing in World of Warcraft. What’s not explicitly said is that the Game Master typically refers to the player characters in second person, describing what happens to ‘you’ and what ‘you’ see - much like streamers talking to their chat. The blocks of narrative text below pictures in Homestuck could easily be a Game Master balancing giving information to an unruly player, and providing entertainment for the audience. John’s lucky or unlucky moments with his sylladex could be the result of particularly good or bad dice rolls from his unseen player.

Actual play is a really great format for deep diving into a small cast of characters, and exploring their emotional state in ways that aren't intrinsic to a lot of video games. As we're already seeing the beginnings of John's emotional arc, we know this will be a focus, but we need two to four more characters with equally large roles in the story to really form a TTRPG party. Actual play also tends to include a lot of combat and its mechanics. We know Homestuck can handle crunchy mechanics due to the sylladex, but I'd expect to see the Strife concept become just as in depth and central to the story if Homestuck ends up fitting into this mold.

All three of these formats can have a mass audience, just like Homestuck does in reality - but Homestuck also feels like a very personal experience. Two people playing the same video game, even a highly linear game such as Portal or one that doesn’t involve much active interaction such as a visual novel, have slightly different gameplay based on the speed they move through the story and their missteps on the way to finding the solution to a puzzle. 

Similarly, my experience of Homestuck is different from yours. I read the new update every day, while I know some people wait for a few days of updates to build up and then read a larger chunk. Maybe I clicked ‘Aggrieve’ and ‘Abjure’ three times each on p.90, alternating the options, while you clicked ‘Aggrieve’ five times in sequence and then ‘Abjure’ only twice. Maybe I didn’t realize p.110 had an interactive element at first, and skipped over it until somebody pointed it out to me (really telling on myself here). These elements of Homestuck that we have direct control over are currently only a small part of the story, but they do exist.

In this way, Homestuck feels a little bit like sitting in the living room as a kid watching your older brother play a game, begging him to let you take over for a minute, occasionally doing so until he gets frustrated with your inability to Strife and takes the controller back. The nostalgia of the simplistic graphics and the 70s and 80s games that are being evoked only adds to this cozy feeling. If Homestuck starts to add more interactive elements, such as branching paths, opportunities for us to take over the cursor, or a chance for us to use John’s sylladex ourselves and choose what he picks up, it might be worth thinking of Homestuck as different iterations of the same game, each of us watching our own, slightly different player, and even co-playing with them.

So, who IS this narrator? In my mind, I’m trying to draw a clear distinction between the author and the narrator. Hussie is the author in the real world, and the narrator, or player, or GM, exists within the work. Their role is best described on page 82:

‘The game presently eluding you is only the latest sleight of hand in the repertoire of an unseen riddler, one to engender a sense not of mirth, but of lack. His coarse schemes are those less of a prankster than a common pickpocket. His riddle is Absence itself.’

The narrator is this unseen riddler (or perhaps unseenRiddler?), providing a secondary layer of control over what happens and what we are able to see. They’re the person clicking and dragging objects around John’s room, and choosing what actions to take next. The narration is their perspective on the game - whether we see this as a GM describing a scene to their players, or a streamer reading aloud information that the game has given them and providing their own commentary. 

So, we're watching the narrator play Homestuck, in whatever form it takes - but there's another layer to this. On page 22, an equivalence is made between the Sburb Beta, which John was supposed to receive on April 10 (and finally acquired on April 13 in-story, p.100), and the Homestuck Beta, which launched to us on April 10, but was quickly canceled and replaced with Homestuck proper on April 13. The Homestuck beta is linked within the comic, and might be canon within it - the narrator making an initial run at the game before restarting their save (perhaps on a different computer or console?) and trying again. Homestuck the game is currently about a kid who lives in the suburbs - and if the name and logo are anything to go by, Sburb could also be a suburbs-themed game. While we watch the riddler play Homestuck, the riddler will be watching John play the game Sburb. How deep does this go? Are there more layers inwards or outwards?

I’ve been puzzling this over for days, and I’m definitely left with more questions than I can answer. Here are the ones I'm focused on:

Is the unseen riddler playing the game as intended? Now that they’ve passed the tutorial, are they keeping the game on the rails and trying their best to follow a linear story, or are they pushing the boundaries, going for some kind of pacifist or resource-stripped run, trying to interfere with John’s intended story? Have they played the game before, and if so, how does this affect their gameplay?

If the unseen riddler is a character within the story, distinct from the external author, are we the true audience? Will there be an audience within the story, or perhaps other players? If so, how big will it be? What kind of reach does Homestuck the game have, and how many people are playing it or tuning in to watch?

How permeable are the boundaries? Is John simply pixels on a screen for the unseen riddler to play with, with no agency of his own outside of the riddler’s interpretation, like if we were playing The Sims? Or is it possible for the riddler to enter the game, or for John to leave it, and the two of them to communicate directly? Or a middle ground - something like ‘character bleed’ in TTRPGs, where a player embodies a character for so long that despite their not being real, they come to influence each other even outside of gameplay?

What the hell is the Midnight Crew? Is this a different game that exists separately to Homestuck? Will our riddler, or a different one, eventually play it? If we have three games - Homestuck, Midnight Crew, and Sburb - what exactly is the relationship between them, and how interrelated are they?

This is a lot of thoughts for what is, at time of writing, is 125 pages of comedy webcomic. But the story is just beginning, and we’ve been told it’s going to be a long day. Anything could be important, and with the frequent in-text nods to the meta elements - ‘examine third and fourth walls of room’ (p.61), ‘you decide it’s time for less meta, and more beta’ (p.113), the title appearing in the clouds on p.82 that John may or may not be able to see, the integration of the physical captchalogue card into the sylladex interface on p.98 - I don’t want to draw any firm boundaries, or make any assumptions about what is and what isn’t part of the story. Instead, I’ve cataloged the meta elements of Homestuck that might be worth paying attention to as we move through the comic, to develop a more concrete theory in time.

[thefarminggoblin]

Cuddling with the Gotei 13, with visuals

I’ve been in a super soft mood lately so here are some soft headcanons for the captains and lieutenants of the Gotei 13.

This is a part 1.

In order, the to do list is:

- Lieutenants

- Seated officers

- Vizards

- Arrancar + defectors

- Karakura gang

No warnings. Just good ol’ fashioned fluff 🥰

🔥 Yamamoto

(platonic - are there any simps I should apologise to here?)

“Yes, what is-OH!” He’s surprised as you jump into his arms. He’s not sure if it’s appropriate for him to return the hug. If it’s a spontaneous friendly hug, he’d probably just pull away a little and ruffle your hair fondly or pat your shoulder, “While I appreciate the affection, I am not sure what it was you are seeking. However, you could be spending your time much more productively. Now, go and finish your duties.”

BUT! If you’re visibly upset over something he wouldn’t hesitate to give you a comforting bear hug. “There, there. Whatever is bothering you, you are strong enough to push through it. Until then, you have my ear.”

🥷 Soi Fon

You wake up, unable to move. “Soi-chan?” No response. You try wriggling, but the more you struggle the more you become trapped, “Soi-chan, we need to get up.”

“Mmm… a few more minutes won’t kill anyone.”

“…you sound like Captain Urahara.”

You’ve never seen get out of bed so fast.

💉 Unohana Retsu

Her sweet voice rouses you from sleep, “Good morning, my love.”

“Good morning, honey.”

She kisses your forehead. You move to leave, only to find yourself suddenly caged in underneath her, a twinkle of mischief in her eye.

“Shall we take advantage of these early hours?” Her voice has dropped a few octaves, and you find yourself unwilling to leave her embrace as she begins peppering kisses down your neck.

🌸 Kuchiki Byakuya

You gaze into the beautiful slate grey eyes of your lover. His face is serene, his eyes half lidded and a tiny smile on his lips. You’re both still trying to catch your breath after your previous… activities. The tender expression on his face as he strokes your cheek ever so softly makes your heart ache. You adore him, and he adores you. You mirror his movements, hoping to convey the same emotion, brushing away some of the hair sticking to his damp forehead.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

His eyes widen slightly, gasping so softly you swear you imagined it. “I mean it, ‘Kuya. You’re so beautiful it hurts.”

He takes your hand and kisses the palm, then your wrist. He shifts himself slightly to press a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering on your brow.

“Beloved, it is you who are the beautiful one.”

You wriggle even closer to him, nestling your head under his chin as he draws you in. You fall asleep to the soft sounds of his soft breathing.

🦊 Komamura Sajin

You treasure mornings like this. Mornings when it’s raining heavily, and the two of you are snuggled together. Gazing into each other’s eyes, stroking each other’s faces, tangled up in each other’s arms.

“Sajin?”

“Yes, dearest?”

“You know I love you right?”

“Of course I do-“

“In both forms.”

His eyes widen in disbelief.

“You don’t have to keep shifting for my sake. I know it takes a toll on you. Your appearance doesn’t change how I feel.”

His eyes tear up, but he can’t bear to expose you to his insecurities getting the better of him, so he buries his head in your chest and draws you to him.

His shoulders start shaking and you feel your heart break, “Oh sweetheart, no, it’s okay.”

“Are you certain you can love me in my other form?” His voice is muffled but you can hear it crack with emotion.

You cup his face and make him look at you, “It’s who you are. I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

He sighs and kisses your eyelids before gently pressing his lips to yours.

You grin, “And besides. You’re super cuddly either way, my love.”

Finally, he smiles, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

🍶 Kyoraku Shunsui

You’re suddenly tackled onto the bed, and Shunsui is merciless as he tickles your sides, “And just wheeeere do you think you’re going, hmm?”

You’re laughing so much you can’t breathe. “Sh-shuun- AHAHAHAA- st-stoooop-“

Brief, bristly kisses are placed up and down the column of your neck, “I will as soon as you tell me where you hid it.”

“N-never!”

“I see.” He says gravely as he stops, sighing, “Tsk, I’ll have to resort to some other tactics then.”

“I-I s-s-suurrende-AHH SHUNSTOPPIT!!” He’s tickling again, this time blowing raspberries into your skin. “I GIVE UUUUP.”

He stops and pulls you onto his chest, pressing kisses against your scalp as he runs his hands up and down your back soothingly. He sighs as he runs his fingers through your hair, wishing the moment could last longer. But he had to leave before his lieutenant scolded him for his tardiness.

“So, a deal’s a deal. Where’d you put my hat, petal?”

❄️ Hitsugaya Toshiro

“‘Toshi?”

You’ve caught him napping on his office couch again. A flash of annoyance runs through you; judging by the dark circles under his eyes, you can guess that he’s been pulling long hours, trying to pick up his lieutenant’s slack again. He’s likely spent the night in his office.

He needs real sleep. You try to gently rouse him, stroking his hair and face gently and calling his name.

“Mmm… whaaaa?” He eventually opens his eyes, blinking rapidly. They’re bloodshot from eye strain. You take his hand and give a little tug.

“Come on, honey. You need to get some sleep in a real bed. It’ll be more comfortable.” You make to pull him up again, but tugs right back, and you fall back onto the couch with a yelp.

Before you can protest, he readjusts the both of you, encompassing you in his arms and pressing a few kisses on your face. It’s surprisingly comfortable. He sighs, nuzzling his face against yours.

“I’ve got all the comfort I require right here.”

🗡 Zaraki Kenpachi

You knew better than to ambush Kenpachi while he was doing his hair, but getting payback for him bumping your arm - on purpose - while you were doing your make up yesterday was far too tempting.

However, now you found yourself in the middle of the most intense pillow fight of your life. You’d managed to get to the bedroom faster than him, getting in 2 decent shots before you were unarmed.

In hindsight: this was a TERRIBLE idea.

“You’ve done it now, kid.” His face lights up with glee as he snatches the 2 offending objects from the floor and lobs them at you, which lands you flat on your back on the bed.

You manage to grab one and throw it back, but he catches it single handedly. He springs onto the bed, straddling you, the pillow raised above his head as he grins maniacally.

“Any last words?”

You did the only thing you could think of: spring up and throw your arms around his waist, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.

“Truce?”

“Truce.” The pillow was thrown to the side, and suddenly you were laying on his chest, his strong arms wrapped around your waist. “I win, though.”

🧪 Kurotsuchi Mayuri

In the blink of an eye, the book you’re reading is ripped from your grasp and thrown across the room. A split second later the air leaves your lungs as your lover’s head lands on your chest, his body crushing yours.

“‘yuri, can’t… breathe…”

“Mmmph.” He grunts, shifting his body so you’re not completely smothered and you take a deep breath. He huffs, burying his face in your chest.

“Bad day?”

“Mmph...”

“Failed experiment?”

“Mmph.”

“Poor dear.”

“Mmph!!”

“Oh. Head rubs. Gotcha.”

“…mmph.”

He’s asleep in minutes, snoring softly. He may conduct countless experiments on himself to improve his stamina, but he’ll never be a robot.

🍵 Ukitake Jushiro

Jushiro places a soft kiss on your lips as you slowly open your eyes, “Good morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?”

His soft smile is almost blinding, “Mmm, how long have you been awake?”

“Not very long.” He smirks, mischief suddenly gleaming in his eyes, “You had quite the look on your face.”

“…I was dreaming.”

“Oh, was it an interesting dream?”

You smirk back at him, you fingers tap dancing on his chest, “…possibly.”

He chuckles, “I see. Then, shall we make your dream a reality?”

You’re suddenly pinned underneath him, laughing as he peppers your face with kisses. It quickly becomes heated, all deep kisses and roaming hands and-

“You wrecked it, monkey brains!”

“No, YOU wrecked it, booger breath!”

-aaaand there they are. You huff, the moment ruined. Jushiro rolls off you, a frustrated groan leaving him as he pulls the sheets over his head.

“I’m not here.”

You join him. “Neither am I.”

[soullessseraphim]

May I present to you...

My take on a potential Valdemar bath scene

because I am one thirsty slu-

I was standing at the edge of the pool, waiting for them. They contemplated the water for a moment, as I did, listening to its soft ripples. I then started to undress. They did too, but much more slowly. I entered the warm water with a satisfied sigh, looking up at them with a playful smile. The process of unbuttoning their lab-coat seemed tedious, but to them, it was natural. I had never seen them in anything different, so it was already quite strange to watch them take of those long leather gloves of theirs. But it was even more surprising to me to see they weren't wearing anything underneath other than bandages.

They weren't fully wrapped in them, like a mummy would. I think I would've found it even stranger. bits of their green skin appeared here and there, the areas most covered and invisible being mainly their torso. The bandages were more sparse around their elbows and knees, leaving their arms and thighs half covered and their forearms and calves bare. They stepped in the water with me, and I looked at them, still smiling.

It wasn't the typical bathing attire, but it suited them. I was about to speak up, but it didn't look like they wanted to discuss yet, therefore I closed my mouth, tilting my head slightly, in a mix of concern and confusion. They looked right at me, with those red irises that always pierce so easily into my soul. I didn't mind. I got used to sustaining their gaze... But there was something I could see, this time. I couldn't fathom what, but there was an emotion there, other than their usual excitement and morbid curiosity, or the spark that usually accompanies their sinister grin.

They walked one or two steps away from me, pushing a floating flower aside with surprising gentleness before turning to face me. I was about to ask again if anything was wrong, but then... They loosened the bandages, letting them delicately fall off their shoulders and hips and into the bath's water.

I had a feeling they just made me a most precious gift... A sight that few, if any, had seen before. I couldn't help my jaw from going slack and my chest from growing warm as I looked ; delicate droplets of water glided down their skin, nestling near their collarbones.

I looked back up at their eyes, which gauged my reaction. They had not spoken yet. The silence went on for a while as I stared at them, a mixture of feelings flowing through my veins. But overall, I could only say I was moved : they'd trusted me enough to show themselves to me... I found them beautiful. All of them.

"Thank you."

It was all I could say while looking back in their eyes, full of gratitude.

They relaxed ever so slightly, as if they'd been anticipating a more intense reaction on my part. And then they smiled. Not one of their usual unsettling grins, no... A soft smile. A rare instance where the tiny bit of humanity left in them resurfaced. It was another gift in itself. I felt as if I could cry in joy.

They invited me to sit comfortably in a corner of the pool, our bodies half sunken in the water. They let me wrap my arms around their waist and rest my head against their shoulder as we looked at the sun go down behind the horizon. We did nothing but bask in its warmth and let our precious moment sink in.

I knew they wouldn't offer me anything else, and I was perfectly content with that, for I didn't need anything more.

[kazumist]

TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME .ᐟ

✩ — childe had always told you he liked you, but you never took his words seriously and dismissed them as his antics. however, after seven years of pining, can he prove to you that he's actually serious about his feelings? (or in which childe wants you to have a chance with him.)

✩ — childe x gn!reader. best friends to lovers trope. fluff, and uhm angst if u squint. no cws. wc: 784. reblogs and feedback are appreciated !!

✩ — zhongli was mentioned for no reason at all tbh. reader isn't oblivious btw it's more like indenial i think idk theyre complicated lol but yea you'll get it once u read it,, a proper drabble for this ramble i did back then :]

childe had told you numerous times that he had liked you for as long as you had known him. he always slips it into the conversation, even if it's completely off-topic. if you could get a penny every time childe says he likes you, then you'd be pretty rich right now.

it's not that you doubted his words (well, okay, maybe you do have a bit of doubt); it's more like you always thought that it was just another one of his antics. though you don't actually know if he's serious with what he says on this matter, you just dismiss it as childe teasing once again.

you and childe had this thing on fridays where you’d watch movies together. it’s a new movie every week unless you both agree to rewatch something. and while sitting on his couch, it isn’t any different. childe has said that he likes you about two times now, both with that cheeky grin he usually wears when he's teasing you.

(you wondered about it at some point—what if it's all true? maybe the reason he confesses in this way is to make it less awkward, and he could take it back if he ever gets rejected? you wouldn't really know, not when you can't keep count of the "i like you"s that childe has told you the whole time you have known him.

but one question always stuck in the back of your mind: who are you to childe? or rather—who is childe to you?

if you were to ask that of someone else, they’d say that you’re his best friend—the most obvious answer. you two have been inseparable ever since you met. however, the term best friend for him didn’t sit well with you.)

the movie was paused due to your quick bathroom break, and as you were going back, you were telling childe about the time zhongli forgot his wallet while you two were out buying materials for your project. but by the time you sat back down, childe looked troubled—agitated, even.

you called his name once or twice, yet there was no response. it wasn’t until you snapped your fingers in front of childe’s face that he snapped out of his thoughts.

"hey, you look pretty bothered; should we ditch the movie for this week?" you asked him.

but he didn’t answer; instead, he asked, "i know this is sudden, but... did you at least believe me once?"

you were speechless. what did he mean by that? surely he isn’t referring to that, right? (even if you wanted to not believe it, deep inside you knew what he was talking about.) you knew this would be a topic between the two of you sooner or later, but you didn’t expect to have this conversation now, of all times.

however, if you were to answer yes, you did believe it. you did, you did, you did—you believed all of it.

despite your lack of response, childe continued on. "i guess you didn't. i mean, it's okay. i guess my confessions didn't really seem sincere to you which is understandable."

"childe." you called.

"i mean, who would actually believe a guy who randomly confesses in the middle of a conversation? and the fact that i did it countless times? god, why did i do that? i'm stupid, aren’t i?"

"childe."

"i'm sorry, i really should've been more sincere at least once—" 

"childe!" he shuts up immediately.

before you could actually say anything else, childe spoke up again.

"i love you."

in the seven years that he has loved you, childe has never felt this impatient. he never felt this suffocated from all the feelings he kept for you this whole time. 

he expected the silence you gave him again, but his chest felt lighter now that he managed to say those three words. although the silence stings and now there’s a tense atmosphere between you both, childe has never felt any better.

on the other hand, you were still processing it all. you were asking yourself again: who is childe to you? he’s your best friend, of course. you love him—

oh.

oh.

you love him. you love childe, and he loves you. but it was no ordinary love between friends; it was a love that was more than friends could ever share. and it all came crashing to you that, truly, a universe without childe by your side would be mundane.

"i love you too," you finally replied.

"take a chance with me?"

a small nod is all what childe needs as a sign to kiss you.

there’s really no one else in the world with whom you’d rather fall in love except for him.