#i proofread this shit

[cloudbrooksblog]

my misinformation journey (lmao)

When i was like 11 or 12, I was watching a movie with my sisters. I'd recently watched a Cinema Sins video on the movie. I parroted things that were said in the video.

My sister pointed this out. She said, "you got that from a Cinema Sins video, didn't you?"

I was intensely embarrassed, so much that I still think about it. Of course, I'm 17, so it was relatively recent, and also parroting other people word for word is cringe, but it's also because I attempted to deny it. And later on, I couldn't figure out why it was wrong. If I saw the flaw after he pointed it out, why is it bad to make the same comment? I can see that he was right, even if I hadn't watched the movie on my own before that. Even if I hadn't double-checked, he presented the evidence to me.

I was evaluating my actions in a flawed way. Obviously, there's something annoying about someone pointing out petty flaws in something you're just trying to enjoy. In the Helluva Boss fandom, I've learned that. But it's also flawed in a way that's extremely important once you bring it to a more serious context.

Near the start of this year (2023) I was in an online discussion, in the comments of a Youtube community post. There was a meme about Hamilton (the musical), and I recalled my sister saying the creator of the musical (Lin-Manuel Miranda) was white. I parroted this without double-checking. If you'll see my profile picture, this was insane of me. I left the situation only halfway learning the lesson, but at least I didn't argue with people calling out my bullshit that time, and at least I apologised. I'm saying this as a personal acknowledgement of my growth since 12 years old, but compared to the bare minimum there's no silver lining. It's a flaw of mine that still needs work to this day. Speaking of which...

Talking out of your ass/bluffing is a thing that's easy to spot in others, especially if you disagree with them or are more knowledgeable about the subject than they are. I said that while talking out of my ass. I have one singular example of this from a podcast I recently watched where Fredrik Knudsen (documentarian) went onto the Official Podcast and fact-checked one of the hosts, who was being extremely judgemental, speaking about subjects that Fredrik knows tons about, and also was being extremely disrespectful to Fredrik the entire time via interrupting him. He also used the word "schizophrenic" as an insult. Remember that.

It was easy to spot then, but that's because it was an extreme example with a (hyperbolically) fact-checking expert present. I can't think of other examples off the top of my head, and I'm not going to check. I think a better framing would be to point at that situation as one single example of this flaw being fatal, rather than using it to generalise, unless I plan on checking. I'm trying to get better at it, but this post isn't just a personal benchmark, I promise.

I watched a video about AI by a relatively small Youtube creator named Jimmy McGee today. I absorbed the information without really thinking about it. I already mostly agreed with him, and what I didn't agree with him about I was simply neutral on and/or uninformed about. In the comments of a video called "The Dream of the Internet", there's someone using the word "schizophrenic" as an insult; an awkward synonym for the word "batshit". I also recently saw it being used as an insult by the previously mentioned podcaster, and overheard it being used as one while out in public. This is more frequent use than I'm used to witnessing. I wanted to make a post about it. I connected it to the way Andrew Tate and Sneako have undeniably made an impact in our culture already-- According to the viral video of teenage Sneako fans, and some vague anecdotes about Tate fans being numerous and loud. There's nothing wrong with believing individual anecdotes, but there's something wrong with basing a portion of your worldview on them, in my opinion.

The fear of mind control-- of algorithms designed to keep you glued to your screen-- is brought out in me by these anecdotes. It was almost certainly created by them, I reckon. I connected these fears and anecdotes with some final parts of McGee's AI video, and suddenly there's a fully-formed opinion: "Casual ableism is becoming more common because ableist people are getting popular online-- all because of the algorithms that want you glued to their sites".

It's an unnuanced, reactionary opinion. I'm glad I caught myself. This flaw of mine is something I started thinking about vaguely after the Hamilton thing, because I TRUSTED my sister, and I was CERTAIN she told me that, but it was also put at the forefront of my mind after seeing the podcast episode where a host got continuously spotted talking out of his ass in a way that's extremely easy for anyone to do, especially myself. Even though I'm against cringe culture, extremely left-leaning, etc, I still talk out of my ass like Alex Jones does. I steadily work on it, slowly, and now that there was an example where I caught myself BEFORE posting, I thought I'd make a post analysing myself. Thank you to anyone who read this. Pls don't roast me too hard about it LOL

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

So, that deja vu fic got me thinking.. and what if katsuki has a childhood friend (obvi friends w deku too) where he is always trying to impress her and class 1-a notices or ( if you’d like them older ) the agency notices and starts betting on when he’ll confess to her. turns out, she actually confesses first and everyone is happy (and slightly disappointed… nobody got their money) 😋😋

Also, when i saw the notification “@cashmoneyyysstuff started following you” i have never hit a follow back button so fast 😭🫶

Remember you’re amazing, take care of yourself, drink water, stay safe, and know that you are loved ❤️

WAAAA @itzjustj-1000 this is soo cute ! especially since katsuki being a loser n tryin to impress us instead of just confessing is honestly adorable. ALSO ALSO ur LITERALLY THE SWEETEST !! ur the loveliest it's a given i had to follow u !! i tried to honour ur request as best i could, i hope you like it ! also say it w me yall: WEEWOOO WEEWOOO CHILDHOODFRIENDS TO LOVERS ALEEEEEERRTTT (yall r forcing my hand atp (not that im complaining tho))

fem reader, katsuki is a whipped little loser, katsuki likes getting praised by reader but acts like he doesn't challenge (fails miserably), kaminari n sero are little shits, m*neta (he doesn't say anything creepy don't worry <3) everyone is in their 2nd year in this one. lemme know if i missed something else !

for as long as izuku midoriya could remember, you and kacchan have always been a packaged deal.

deku remembers all the way back in primary school, how kacchan would bend over backwards to impress you, spending his days trying to win your praise like he was collecting it. whether it be showing off how good his reading skills were, or showing off his newly acquired quirk to you at any given chance. (away from the eyes of the teachers, of course)

or even with silly things. like the time he showed you how long he could hold his breath underwater. it didn't matter, as long as he could show it off to you, he would.

deku remembers how pride would fill his childhood friends face, cheeks practically glowing and a smile basically reaching his ears. a simple "woooah, you're so cool kacchan !" had the boastful blonde giddy for the entire day, chest puffed out as he walked ahead of everyone, with you right next to him, of course. (you were the only one worthy enough to stand by his side after all)

and though he spent his time trying to win your praise, he also needed your attention constantly. katsuki constantly demanded your attention. he's the only one who's allowed to sit next to you in class, you're always the one he picks first when it's time to pick teams to play dodgeball. he's your partner for every project and you're the one who walks beside him when you and your friends go venture out in the woods to go out on your adventures. and even though they would usually take place in the park, katsuki always claimed he'd be the one to protect you if anything were to happen.

as kids, deku was probably the only one who noticed how hard katsuki tried to impress you.

and he's probably the only one to notice how he still does it now.

"sooo...kacchan totally has a thing for yn, agreed ?"

"mhm. definitely."

"yup."

"'m suprised you just noticed that now, kaminari...actually i'm not really suprised." jirou drawled, twirling one of her earphone jacks around her finger.

okay, so apparently he isn't the only one who noticed.

kaminari pouts "i noticed ! i noticed, like, ages ago !" he huffs into his folded elbows on the desk " i just wanted to see if you guys did !"

"you'd be stupid to miss it." sero cuts in smoothly. their grouchy homeroom teacher somehow ended up absent, leading to an impromptu free period. which in turn caused for loads of gossip he had somehow gotten roped into. kirishima, kaminari and sero were talking about you and katsuki, happily chatting off about something they couldn't hear from where they were sitting.

"maaaannn, bakugou's way too lucky, scoring such a pretty girl. what's he got that i don't ?!" kaminari whines. kirishima shushes him lightly, afraid to rouse the attention of a certain blonde they just so happened to be talking about

"now that i think about it.." sero wondered, leaning onto kirishima's shoulder "midoriya, you guys are childhood friends, right ? have they always been..." he cuts himself off, pointing over at you both with his chin for midoriya to look back. ".. like that ?"

you're chatting about something that's apparently funny or exciting, with katsuki listening along attentively, his head resting in his palm like he's admiring you. his full focus entirely on you, as it usually was.

you're using your hands a lot while you're talking and deku recognizes it as the thing you do when you've gotten to the juicy part of the conversation, deku almost wishes he could listen in, then remembers it's not good to be nosy and shakes the thought away. every once in a while katsuki interjects with a subtle smirk on his face and his remarks have you either giggling or playfully pouting at him unable to hide your smile. the playfulness in his heavy lidded red eyes remains at any reaction you give him, though. kacchan's worked on his poker face over the years but it seems he can't control himself when it comes to you.

izuku realizes he's been openly staring for too long and quickly turns back to look at sero who raises an eyebrow, awaiting a response.

izuku chuckles to himself "yeah, pretty much." he hums, playing around with the ends of his tie as he speaks.

"oooouu~" kaminari sings, suddenly lifting his head up from where it was hidden into his shoulder with a sudden burst of energy, startling kirishima. "juicy details about kacchan, i'm in !"

"i don't know if it's exactly 'juicy'" izuku sweatdropped, chuckling awkwardly. "but kacchan and yn have always been really close. when we were younger, kacchan would always be seeking out yn's attention. he'd be really possesive..or protective over her, i guess ?—it was all pretty harmless though." he recounted, smiling softly at his childhood memories nostalgically pouring into his mind.

both kirishima and sero let out quiet hums when he finishes while denki simply pouts "s'not as juicy as i thought it would be" he huffs petulantly, receiving a knock on his head from jirou who hisses a "he told you that, idiot"

kirishima places his head into the palm of his hands and sighs dreamingly "man, that's so cute. bakugou's been a major softie for yn for so long.." he clenches his fist and izuku thinks he sees a little tear in his eye "so manly !" he exclaims through his sharp teeth.

"yeah, i don't know if 'manly' is the word i'd use to describe someone who's been whipped for so long and still doesn't have the balls to confess" sero ribbed, snickering to himself with denki joining in shortly after.

"hey, don't be assholes !" jirou shot "i think it's kinda cute y'know ? not really..manly..but—cute." she said.

"how much you wanna bet he's not gonna confess until graduation?" kaminari challenged.

"wouldn't put it past 'im." a voice suddenly chimes in. the five of them all turn their heads left, right then down at the voice that came from none other than mineta, who had somehow wormed his way into the conversation.

"and what the hell do you think you're doing sneaking into our conversation, freak" jirou sneers, glaring down at mineta who had already dragged his chair over, including himself into the group.

mineta decides to ignore jirou as he places his arms onto the desk seriously like he's imitating some type of mafia don. " bakugou's never gonna confess any time soon, he's too much of a pussy" he waves off nonchalantly "i bet he won't even have done it by the time we've finished school ! "

" and i bet you wouldn't say that to his face !" kaminari guffaws and the purple haired boy sputters. izuku can't hold back his grin as he watches them bicker.

" kacchan's always been pretty..sure of himself" he settles "i don't think it'd take him that long to confess" he guessed, pressing his thumb onto his chin "though maybe the fact that he's so sure of himself could hold him back.."

ah, there he goes again.. the rest of them thought as they watch midoriya babble on and on into theory land.

denki suddenly slams his fists on the desks, startling everyone. he sucks in a breath "alright ! i bet a thousand yen and the entirety of my lunch box that bakugou won't confess by the end of this year !" he exclaims, not too loud but loud enough so everyone in the group could hear him.

"oooouu~ what're we betting on ?" mina chimes in, suddenly appearing behing jirou and in turn startling her. she flashes her a little glare causing the pink haired girl to offer a weak apology and a hug.

"kaminari just bet a thousand yen and his lunch that bakugou won't confess to yn by the end of this year" sero smirked, clearly enjoying the drama

" ou, that sounds fun ! lemme join in too !" the pink skinned girl pleaded giving her best puppy eye and pout combo.

"sure ! just don't come cryin' to me when you lose" kaminari agrees, playfully jabbing at his friend.

"this is so stupid. i'm not betting money on this.."jirou scoffs rubbing at her temple. "c'moooonnn, don't be chicken, jirou ! " denki whines

"mhmm, c'moonn jirou give into peer pressure !" mina joins in, wrapping her arms around the purple haired girl and swaying her side to side.

jirou groans before finally conceding "..five hundred yen. that's all you're getting from me." she concludes sourly crossing her arms.

" i'm gonna go with kaminari's and say his balls won't drop 'till graduation" sero says simply, smirking almost mischieviously at the display of sudden chaos. he looks a little too pleased, izuku sweatdrops.

"i'm not betting on my bro, that's so unmanly." kirishima refused " i say just let them go at their own pace" he finishes, receiving a nasty look from his chaotic classmates.

needless to say kirishima gave in to peer pressure soon after, offering a modest 1,100 yen by this summer for his friend to confess.

"well i stand on what i said, i don't think he has the balls to say it at all. and i put that on all the money in my pockets ! " mineta proudly spoke.

"how much is that, like, one fruit roll-up ?" mina deadpanned, not missing a beat causing the group to erupt in laughter. mineta's objection's falling on deaf ears.

meanwhile, katsuki notices you've stopped talking all of a sudden. it takes him by surprise as you were so into it a minute ago. "what's up ?" he asks. his question snaps you out of your trance and you jump slightly, turning back to look at him "oh , nothing ! they just seem to be having fun " you gasp, a smile crawling up on your face as you look back at your friends having a good time.

katsuki on the other hand has a slight pout forming on his face, displeased at how his loud mouthed friends distracted you from your conversation. and from him he thinks, but that makes him feel like a snot nosed little kid again and his expression turns even more sour.

"tch. the fuck are those losers so loud for" he grumbles under his breath. you catch it though, and you giggle. his eyes brighten and his brows unfurrow the slightest bit when he hears it.

"don't be such a buzzkill katsu, s'not their fault you're no fun." you jest, chuckling to yourself when he scowls at you.

"fuck off ! m'not a buzzkill" he rolls his eyes, huffing indignantly "an' i'm plenty of fun" he finishes grumpily. you laugh a little more, covering your mouth with your hand when you catch a peak of him narrowing his eyes at you making fun of him. he simply rolls his eyes and sighs, shaking his head. he'll let it slide, he always does with you.

"right, right. my apologies, sir dynamight" you chuckle, bowing slightly at him, he huffs out a laugh "that's sir lord explosion murder god dynamight to you" he snorts. you throw your head back and laugh and katsuki feels the same pride he used to feel when he'd found something cool to show you back when you were brats. his stomach feels fuzzy and his head feels clouded the way it used to when you'd offer him your big, bright sparkly eyes and a "you're so cool kacchan !"

god, it never failed to remind him how much of a whipped loser he was for you.

and unfortunately still is.

you scoot your chair a little closer to his and katsuki has to use all of his might not to blush at the sudden proximity, as miniscule as the distance between you both was to begin with.

"well okay then, sir lord explosion murder god dynamight" you say rapidly, laughing to yourself. katsuki let's out a breathy chuckle, it's cute. he's cute. " i'm sure it doesn't mean much, but i at least think you’re plenty fun to be around"

katsuki feels his heart skip a beat too many.

you whisper, like it's a secret. you're in your own little corner while all your classmates are chatting away yet you say this to him like it's something between you and him. batting your eyelashes up at him. god, it's like you're out to kill him and honestly katsuki thinks for a second he wouldn't mind dying by your hand.

he's such a whipped loser.

he can't think straight. you're sitting so close to him, you're lips are glossy from that lip gloss you always have on you. you smell nice, katsuki feels like a creep for smelling you like you aren't a breath away from him.

"yeah, well.." he utters lowly. he licks his lips, feeling himself grow dizzy as he watches you watch the movement intensely and swallows. his adam's apple bobs and he can feel himself blushing like an idiot. " i don't think you're all that bad either" the end of his sentence comes out a little breathy, he barely realizes he's speaking. like his body is deciding for him, he doesn't mind much.

you give him a sweet little smile and your eyes shine like stars and you look up at him like he's everything, like he's the coolest. he wants you to look at him like this all the time.

you suddenly lean in and kiss him, right next to his lips, just at the corner. it lasts for about 0.3 seconds but katsuki feel his entire body exploding from the inside like he's let off his quirk onto himself.

"i take it back actually" you start "you're super cool to be around, kacchan." you whisper bashfully. katsuki huffs out a little laugh once his heart had stabilized itself a little bit, a small smile growing on his face—

" AW MAN? WHAT THE HELL ?!"

you both turn to the sound of your electric classmate, sporting a little pout on his face. proceeding to get dog-piled on by your other classmates surrounding him, causing him to let out whines and moans of complaint.

"i-ignore him !" mina waves off nervously "just keep doin' what you were doin !— i mean, we weren't watching or anything !" she splutters.

"nice one." jirou deadpanned sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "look, we don't mean to pry or anything, but who kissed who first ?"

at that, katsuki's cheeks flare up, turning a damn near violent shade of pink. he's about to yell obscenties at his classmates, about to tell them it's none of their business when-

" i did !" you giggle, a cat-like grin on your face

"you sneaky fuckin minx-" katsuki growls, shoving his index fingers into your sides and you let out a squeal mixed with a giggle. you're quickly drowned out by your classmates releasing a group groan, with sero and kaminari yelling and booing at katsuki, who in turn starts threathing them, his hands crackling and popping.

you don't exactly know what's happening, but you can't help but feel extremely joyful and happy.

"soo.." mineta starts "since i said bakugou wouldn't confess first doesn't that technically mean i-"

" IN YOUR DREAMS ! "

[saetoshis]

TOO MUCH OR NOT ENOUGH? [‹ DEMON SLAYER ›]

[‹ WITH ›] tengen ; akaza ; haganezuka ; gyomei

[‹ SUMMARY ›] how much of a size kink do they have?

[‹ MATURE CONTENT WARNINGS ›]

fem!reader, size kink, dacryphilia, praise, pet names [baby, bunny, pretty thing, sweet girl], some teasing, modern au (not canon), minors + ageless dni

[‹ TENGEN ›] 8 out of 10!

tengen won't lie that he has a bit of a size kink, and it's prevalent in the way he always makes comments about your cute expressions when you have to look up at him, or how you can't seem to fully wrap your hand around his cock.

he can't lie - he really gets a kick out of it.

"oh- almost there," tengen teases between a pearled smirk as he watches your mouth slowly but surely take his cock between your lips, and it feels impossible with how much there is. he coos sweetly at the little tears adorning your bottom lashes with a sneer of, “so good, baby. show me that pretty mouth, you almost got it, now…”

you mumble and hiccup incoherently onto his cock, your smooth tongue pressing tightly against his nerves from the sheer lack of room and it makes tengen groan. you bob your head back and forth, the wet noises and little chokes and hummed moans making tengen’s abs shudder hard.

“that’s it, just like that… love the way you suck it,” tengen lets out little grunts and shaky breaths between an egotistic grin, his hips slowly starting to rut into your now-drooling mouth as he watches you flutter your wet eyelashes up at him meekly. “oh, you’re just so pretty trying to take all this, aren’t you? wanna let me go a little faster now? hm?”

[‹ AKAZA ›] 6 out of 10!

akaza doesn’t initially notice the size difference between the two of you, so he didn’t know he had a kink for it until you sat on his lap and still had to crane your head to look up at him.

from then on, it was all he could notice - how much of your thigh he can manage to grab with one hand, or how small your hands are when they’re intertwined with his. he definitely has to admit, he enjoys it at least a little.

“oh, bunny,” akaza pants out the words between little moans, his hands grasping your hips and rocking your frame on his cock over and over. you’re so much smaller than him, it’s so easy for him to maneuver you like this - and it’s clear by the open-mouthed, half-lidded look on your face that you love it, too. you whimper and hiccup and akaza gives you a little shush, “shh, s’ okay… feels good, right? just relax, lemme take care of you, m’kay?”

“mhm, mhm,” you hum and stifle back moans as he rocks you onto him a little harder, a little faster. every push of his cock into the hilt of your cunt feels like a little jolt of pleasure flowing up your spine, and it takes everything in you not to cum on the spot now. “g- cum, gonna cum…!”

“that’s it… c’mon n’ lemme have it, don’t be shy,” akaza leers as he feels his cock twitching with every clench of your walls around him, the whimpers leaving your lips making his breath hitch in his chest. he grips your waist, easily picking up the pace of your hips just a bit more. “lil harder, okay? just a little more, you can handle it, right?”

[‹ HAGANEZUKA ›] 9 out of 10!

hotaru has always known he’s had a size kink when it came to you. from the way his big shoulders can easily block your view to the way your head only makes it up to his chest, he’s always known.

he gets turned on so easily by the way you’ll playfully push him to be met with no budging, and especially by the way you look so small when he’s kneeling behind you on the sheets with his big hand pressed on your back.

“s-shit. feelin’ so tight, pretty thing,” hotaru mumbles and grunts out when he slips his cock between your taut walls, his brawny hands holding your hips stable as you kneel on all fours on the bed in front of him. it takes a little before he can fully push himself inside, and he shudders hard when he does. “there it is. so good for lettin’ me put it all in…”

you whine as your frame shakes when he leans forward, curling his body overtop of yours as he presses messy kisses into your nape. hotaru’s hips slowly start rutting forwards, every wet smack making you keen for more. you whimper with each time he pushes further inside, feeling a burning tingle in your cunt as you pant, “s-so stretched…”

“oh, i know, baby… i know it is,” hotaru sneers out the words as he presses messy kisses and drags of his tongue onto your neck, his hips rocking a little faster as the sounds get filthier and louder. his cock twinges inside of you when you clench even tighter around him, “fuck- you tryin’ to make me cum already? but even if i do… i’m definitely not done for the night yet.”

[‹ GYOMEI ›] 10 out of 10!

gyomei can’t help how big he is, both his body and what’s in his pants - so naturally, he finds it attractive when you saunter around in his oversized clothes or have to ask him to reach the top shelf for you.

it drives him crazy with way you look so small in his lap, or how you have to use two hands when you’re just trying to get him off - it’s endearing, almost, and he just can’t resist it.

“shh, i know, i know…” gyomei murmurs against your lips to soothe your hiccuped whimpers at the way the head of his cock pushes in your cunt, and it’s such a big stretch that it makes little tears prick your eyes. he knows to go slow, and he knows to make sure you’re as wet as possible beforehand, but even then - it’s still a struggle. “i got you, sweet girl…”

gyomei kisses you hypnotizingly as his thumb toys with your clit, running small wet circles into your nerves to help him start to slip inside, albeit at an agonizingly slow pace. bit by bit, he pushes further until he reaches the hilt of your cunt with still more length to spare. you whimper and hiccup against his cheek, “gyo… t-too big-! too… much.”

“i’ll go slow, alright? promise, it’ll feel nice in a second, hm?” gyomei tries not to grunt out the words from how warm you feel around him, especially when you tighten up in tandem with his thumb circling your clit. every heavy rut of his hips makes you tear up a little more, mewls and panted whimpers leaving your gaped lips. it doesn’t take long until you’re both desperately keening for more, and gyomei can’t possibly hold back another second. “shi- oh… just a little faster, okay? j-just… a little more. you can do that for me, right, sweet girl?”

2023 SAETOSHIS. do not copy or repost.

[maddietries]

Katsuki and you dated a few years ago. You broke up because he just wasn’t there enough. Little did you know you’d run into the man you’d never stoped loving 3years later.

You own a little cafe now, you opened it after you finished school. It’s your pride and joy plus the community loves it. You’ve had a few pro hero’s stop by but you never expect him to walk in. It was like every other day taking orders and making them. You never expected your ex boyfriend to walk in though. When you come back from the kitchen with someone’s order about to call it, the surprise on your face but remembering you have to be professional. You call the order and step up to the counter.

“What can I get you today dynamite?” You ask with a small smile.

“Don’t act like you don’t fuc’in know me.” He says back a little harsh.

“You’re right, Hi Katsuki what can I get you?” You try again.

“Didn’t come here for food. Came to talk.” He says like it’s obvious.

“I’m sorry we close in like 30 minutes we can talk then alright?” i say softly.

“S’fine, gonna sit down somewhere.” He says walking away to go sit down at one of the small tables. I’m completely shocked he’s here but I take the next order and make it. I continue that cycle til we close. I walk over to his table and sit down once the doors are locked.

“What’d you want to talk about?” I ask quietly.

“Heard you opened this place. Been flirtn with red?” He asks bluntly.

“Ah no he comes in sometimes and we joke but nothing more. Yeah I did open this all on my own.” I say smiling.

“S’nice.” He says.

“Is that all you wanted to ask?” I ask gently.

“Let me try again.” He mumbles to me.

“Try again?” I ask.

“Wanna be a better boyfriend. Wanna treat you right.” He says and I just stare at him.

“Do you even have the time to treat me right?” *i ask looking down and fidgeting with my hands.

“Do now. Didn’t before and let you go and I shouldn’t have.” He says looking like he’s pleading with his eyes.

“You’re a jerk, because i still love you and we both know that. So I’m not gonna say no. I’m gonna let you try again. Just please let me take care of you this time. Please take care of me to.” I say feeling tears well up.

“If I didn’t love you still we wouldn’t fuck’n be here.” He says bluntly.

“M’gonna take you on a nice date okay?” He says looking at me and swiping away one of my tears when it falls.

“Okay. I’d love that.” I say smiling softly.

[hakusins]

cw // cursing, foul language, ooc?

doing whatever it takes to survive ~

whitney x eri (my pc) for @digenerate-trash's apocalypse/forgotten AU. thank you for making such a fun AU idea !!! so the story is that eri is pregnant with kids and originally was from robin's faction, though there had been incidents that occurred to some other pregnant members of robin's faction and she decided it's not safe there anymore and needed to move to whitney's faction.

small note: i made the first two panels when the AU was still just a suggestion HBJERFBHJERF so there's a lot of inconsistencies, such as them being outside when thats supposed to be dangerous 🥹! just pretend they're in a room safe and away from windows.

[blindmagdalena]

Trick & Treat

18+ 2.1k Dullahan!Homelander x F!Reader. established relationship, body horror, dirty talk, cunnilingus, cream pie. written for monsterlander mania

A world in which all supes are the results of humans experimenting on one another with the blood of Fae from the Seelie Courts. Homelander is one such amalgamation, and as a result of his Gan Ceann blood, he has a particularly neat party trick to show you. 

Homelander always kisses you like he means to devour you. You’re certain he could, especially when your teeth touch the sharp juts of his canines. Never do they seem more like fangs than when he’s dragging them along your throat, licking the salt from your skin with a wicked, hungry noise.

“You said you were going to show me a trick,” you remind him with a giggle, carding your fingers through his hair.

“Mmmm, that I did,” he hums, walking into you, forcing you backwards until the back of your legs bump his bed. You laugh as he gives you a gentle push, sending you down onto the plush bedding with a bounce. “Think you can handle it? It’s an awfully spooky trick,” he warns, those fangs of his flashing in a brilliantly white smile.

Sitting up, you scoot forward on the bed so that you can begin working his belt loose. “I’ve handled everything else you’ve thrown at me, haven’t I?”

Dating Homelander has more or less been a gauntlet of how many strange quirks you can endure from a single partner. You’ve grown accustomed to his fussiness when it comes to the rules of hospitality, his severe aversion to any and all iron, his penchant for milk–he likes it best when you leave it out for him unprompted–and most importantly of all, his deep love of jokes and trickery.

“True,” he supposes, cupping either side of your face. He strokes the rise of your cheeks, smiling down at you with the kind of tenderness that makes your stomach flip.

Returning his smile, you tug at the zipper of his pants, but he stops you. “Ah ah ah. I’ll be the one giving you head tonight, missy. But first,” he says, which tells you he most definitely has a scheme in mind. “Undress for me.”

Huffing a playful breath, you withdraw your hands and instead pull off your own shirt. You shimmy out of your pants and underthings next, leveling Homelander with an expectant look once you’re fully undressed. He lets out a low whistle, leaning down to kiss you. “It’s like a self-opening present. Never gets old,” he says, nipping at your bottom lip.

“What’s the trick?” You ask, bouncing lightly on the bed. 

He laughs. “So impatient! Fine, fine, alright, Christ,” he says, reaching up to the collar of his suit. He unzips a concealed zipper, and tugs the opening loose. Watching you, he places both hands flat over his temples, and gives you one last lingering look, lips curled in a devious grin. “Y’ready?”

Apprehension crawls into your gut and nestles there, your own smile faltering slightly. “Ready…”

You jump when he snaps his head to the side with a strange sound. It almost sounded like the tear of velcro, and before you can question what the hell it was, the wind is knocked completely from you when he lifts his head clean off his neck. No connective tissue, no blood, no gore. He simply holds his head up like a trophy, the bottom of it an empty, black abyss.

“Surprise!” He says, his disembodied head still grinning as he suddenly holds it out to you.

You scream, scrambling back on the bed, your eyes wide. “What the fuck! Oh my god, what the fuck? What the fuck, Homelander!?”

He starts laughing, kneeling on the bed. “Whaaat? I thought you liked tricks,” he says, placing his head on the bed while he adjusts his collar. “Yeah, we don’t advertise this one too much. Freaks people out,” he says, rolling his eyes. It’s beyond surreal to watch him emote like this, his neck cushioned by the bedding while his body continues to operate behind him.

Mouth agape, you continue to stare at him, a morbid curiosity slipping in amidst the horror. “How… How is this possible?”

“Same bullshit that makes flight and laser vision possible,” he says, watching you. It takes you a moment, but beyond the perverse enjoyment of your shock, you’re sure you see a flicker of apprehension in his expression. He’s waiting, you realize.

Waiting to see how you’ll respond. If you’ll reject him.

These are often the stages of your relationship with Homelander. He parts the curtain of himself bit by bit, daring you to flee with each confession about his existence. This is by far the most alarming reveal so far.

“Does it hurt?” You ask, the tension in your body easing.

He looks surprised, as if no one has ever asked him that before. Behind him, his body shrugs. “Uh, nope. Feels like stretching.”

“This is insane,” you say, crawling towards his head. Of all the things supes are capable of, you’ve never seen anything like this.

His smile slowly returns. “Pick me up.”

Your expression blanches. “What?”

“C’mon! Pick me up. Gimme a kiss,” he says, puckering his lips, coaxing you with kissy sounds.

Oh god.

“I…” You sigh. “...Alright, I’ll… Okay. Let me just…” You slip your hands behind his jaw, cupping the back of his neck, using your thumbs to brace him from tipping forward. “Oh, god, okay, I don’t want to drop–your head is really heavy,” you grunt, surprised by the density of it.

“Thirteen pounds, baby,” he confirms proudly.

“I was sure all the hot air would lessen the load,” you say, hefting him up to your eye level.

“Veeery funny,” he drawls. “Kissy time.”

After one last beat of hesitation, you lean in, bringing him close as you do. Closing your eyes, kissing him feels like it always does. His lips are as hungry for yours as ever, coaxing them into a dance. If not for the weight of all thirteen pounds of his head in your hands, you might forget anything was different at all.

Distracted, you don’t notice the bed dip behind you until you feel Homelander’s gloved hands on you, pulling your back to his chest, startling you. “God,” you gasp as you look back, a shiver running up your spine at the image of his headless torso poised behind you. “That is so fucking scary,” you say, returning your gaze to his head in your hands.

“Relax, babe,” he purrs, licking his lips. “You got your trick. It’s only fair you get a treat now.”

“What do you–oh!” You startle at the press of his fingers between your thighs, grip tightening on his skull. “You seriously want to–to fool around like this?” You ask, unable to do anything but fall back against his chest while his fingertips stroke your clit, his other hand sliding up your side, cupping your breast.

“Do I seriously want to eat your pretty pussy while I fuck you? Uh, yeah. I do,” he says, which admittedly lights a spark right at your core. “C’mon, sweetheart. Like this,” he says, taking his hand from your chest to grab a handful of his own hair, pushing your hold on him down, bringing his head between your legs. He nudges your knees further apart with his own, and brings himself close enough to drag his tongue over your clit, glancing up to watch you shiver, the glint in his eyes downright wicked.

“This is so weird,” you say, but it fades off into a moan as his tongue swirls. He only stops so that he can suck his own fingers into his mouth, thoroughly wetting them before he returns to licking your clit while his spit-slick fingers stroke your cunt, rubbing back and forth a moment before slowly sliding in.

Your head falls back against his shoulder, hips jerking. “Oh, ffffuck…”

It’s almost like being in bed with two different people at once. Homelander is as voracious as ever, licking and sucking every drop that spills from you. You feel his tongue lap at where your pussy is stretched around his fingers before dragging back to your clit, lips closing on it while the pointed tip of his tongue swirls.

“That’s it,” he says between the drags of his tongue. “Taste so fuckin’ good, babe. Ready for me?” He asks, slipping his fingers free. You’re not left hanging for long, the wet head of his cock eagerly nudging your pussy. He moans at that first hot press, giving a playful little growl as he nuzzles against your cunt, sucking hungrily at your clit.

“Yeah, yes, yes, m’ready,” you pant, thighs shaking. His head is getting heavy, but his tongue feels too good to let go of, or even adjust. “Don’t stop, keep–keep doing that.” He eagerly complies, humming against you while the head of his cock splits you open in one slow delicious slide.

You’ve had his head between your legs, and you’ve had the fullness of him inside you, but never could you have imagined both at once. The sheer heat of him is overwhelming, and you shudder bodily against him. His arms move to either side of you, and he nudges your hands out of the way, taking his head from them and relieving you of the weight.

“Touch me,” he groans against you, bracing you firmly in place within the bracket of his arms. You do so readily, slipping one hand into his hair while your other falls to his thigh, gripping it tight. He snaps his hips harder, knocking a moan out of you as he picks up a rhythm, his tongue never once faltering. Your breaths grow pitchier the faster he moves, his arms giving you nowhere to squirm, no reprieve while he fucks and devours you to his hearts content.

All you can do is hold on.

“I-I’m gonna come,” you whine, struggling to get the words out with the way each crack of his hips knocks the breath from you, edging you closer and closer to your climax.

“Me too,” he murmurs, though you feel it more than you hear it. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Do it. Wanna taste it when you come on my cock.”

“Fuck, fuck, Homelander, Homelander!” You cry, your nails biting into the fabric of his suit, yanking hard on his hair as your body locks up. The orgasm that hits is torrential, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you. Your thighs shake, and if not for Homelander’s arms braced on either side of you, holding you tight to his chest, you’d collapse. 

All the while he sucks and licks you through it, fucking greedily into your quivering pussy, gasping hot and wet against your clit as he comes, too, fucking it into you as deep as he can while lapping up whatever spills on his tongue.

You sink back against him, loose-limbed and shuddering. Every pass of his tongue earns a jerky little thrust from you, the wet slide of it creating a burst of little aftershocks of pleasure.

Eventually, overstimulation begins to edge out your enjoyment. “Okay,” you rasp, giving his hair a gentle tug at the same time you pat his thigh. “Okay, good, good boy, that was… Fuck.”

Homelander pulls off of your clit with a pop, humming a pleased little purr. You completely collapse against him as he lifts his arms from you–lifting them over your head like the bars on a rollercoaster–and takes his head with him as he does. You hear a shuffle of fabric, and then an odd kind of crunch not unlike the one you heard when he first popped it off.

“Mmmmm…” He sighs, wrapping his arms around you, nuzzling at your neck. As he tenderly kisses up your neck, it's good to feel his lips where you expect them to be relative to his body again. “God, I’ve been thinkin’ about that for awhile,” he says, nipping playfully at your ear.

“I can confidently say that I had never once considered that,” you say, your words half slurred. You barely feel like your own head is attached after how hard you came.

He laughs, the heat of his breath on your ear giving you goosebumps. “Think you’d do it again?” He asks, voice pitched low and wicked, but you can hear the slight edge to his voice. You’ve been with him long enough to know that he wants to know that you liked it. That you like him. 

You turn to look at him over your shoulder, and you can’t help but smile. You kiss him, licking the shared taste of you both from his lips. He squeezes a little moan out of you, hugging you like he’ll never let you go.

“Yeah,” you say softly, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. Part of you is surprised you don’t feel some kind of seam. “In a heartbeat.”

[shivology]

i wrote the fake stewy profile and it turned out longer than i thought lmfao

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I know theres a lot ot talk of Hobie's past and I love the idea of BigFamily!Hobie. But may I PLEASE add to the table:

StreetKid!Hobie -

It's not as happy or wholesome of a backstory as Hobie with a big family, and a big community - but there's still tenderness there I PROMISE.

Like - Maybe Hobie understood what Gwen was going through because he's been through it himself. He knows what it's like.

I like the headcanon that Hobie just...didn't have a family. No tragic backstory or anything. Just the sharp reality that the system lets some kids fall through the cracks.

Because it's a story or reality we hardly ever see, but it's one that exists - being a homeless street kid. We hardly see that story in it's entirety, rather than just the dramatic scenes.

But like STREETKID!HOBIE

He doesn't have anyone to take him to school or buy him uniforms - so he went to the library to teach himself. He doesn't have much money, but the men at the kebab shops know him, the kid that comes in asking for 'anything they've got' , with 2 pounds 50 pence. So they start feeding him, free of charge.

He helps run errands for the old ladies, and they make sure he has clothes for the winter. They'll knit him sweaters and scarves, and give them to him, telling him to run home and get inside, not knowing that might not be an option for him.

But even if they don't know the whole story, the know Hobie the streetkid, who looks tough but has a heart of gold and will help with anything - the kid who'll feed the stray cats before himself.

Most nights, he sleeps at F.E.A.S.T - because we always talk about how great F.E.A.S.T is but never what it's like to actually have to live there as a homeless person for an extended period of time.

The adults know his face, they worry if they don't see him in a bit. They set blankets aside for him, ask him if he's eaten, and for the first time in forever, maybe in his life, he has people who cares - people who want to help.

F.E.A.S.T makes Hobie wanna help people.

And THAT's where he finds his family.

He starts finding other kids too. Older Streetkids start helping him out. They let him squat with them, and show him how to do things like steal electronics, and which shops throw out a bunch of good food at night.

And he starts meeting people, and seeing the teens that'll make him person he is later.

He starts hanging out with them more and more - and they start calling him Hobie.

The take him under their wing. They looked out for him, made sure nobody messed with the youngest of the bunch.

Anywhere they sleep or squat - Hobie does too. And on the nights that it's the worse, that's it too much, or too scary - or the nights where he's just angry at the world,

They're there to remind him there's kindness in the world.

That kindness and joy and having a laugh with the mandem is RADICAL, it's an act of defiance, and a form of power. And that you don't need a big house with the picket fence and 2.5 kids to grow up 'right'.

One of the street kids give him his first patches. They snag him the leather vest he wears today, back when he was tiny and short and he had grow into it.

They taught him everything he knows - from laces code to how to stud a jacket. They start taking him to protests, starts explaining why things are the way they are, how the system is meant to keep people like them down.

They teach him what ACAB means and true anarchy

The first person he ever met wearing blue laces - was a Streetkid. An older kid that Hobie couldn't help but look up to, or even be a little jealous of. A cooler kid with tall leather boots and blue laces.

And when the kid smirked and told him what they meant, Hobie couldn't help but think 'That's SO kickass'.

One night, one of the kids brings a record they stole. They play it on the player - and it's Ramones. Hobie, maybe only 13, hearing rock for the first time.

And he's wide eyed and asking who that is, who's playing the guitar, what's the song name, and the older kids just smirk and chuckle cause they KNOW -

That's when Hobie falls in love with rock.

And Hobie spends his teens with these people, becoming the punk rock anarchist god he is. He learns how to help people like they help him.

Some of those kids are still around, some on their feet now, and some living free, sticking with the life of a Streetkid by choice. Some he sees often - they're the ones he has a laugh with at the pub.

Others, have moved on, or passed away.

And one day Hobie looks around and realizes he's the oldest one now. He looks around and realizes he's the older street kid now. He's the big bro - and he loves it.

Gwen wasn't the only one staying there when she lived with him. She's not the first Society recruit either.

Because of the streetkids that gave him a family, Hobie is who he is - he has a houseboat that always has at least one or two kids staying there, just looking for a place to stay or a meal to eat.

No matter what - Hobie will help.

At to all the StreetKids that came before, Hobie remembers them all - all the help they gave him and all the times they saved him. He hopes that one day, there are people to remember him too, the same way.

Because that's what he wants to be remembered for.

Because he's not a hero - SpiderPunk isn't the hero. Those streetkids were the heroes.

They way they helped him - is the way he helped Gwen.

I need more StreetKid!Hobie SO BAD S OBADDDDLLY

What if Hobie's brown ideology and fashion and beliefs and his love for everyone around him is a reflection of the very teens who raised him and kept him safe and they're the reason why he does any of this to begin with for the streetkids MY GOODDDDDD

HOBIE BROWN - THE PATRON SAINT OF WARWARD TEENS

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Ok this idea is haunting me and I want to know peace again.

A reader who wants to get revenge on Kirtch for that first day punishment and tries to slap his ass as hard as they can... starts crying like a baby because they hurt their hand.

Anyways I love you writing so many of your yans give me brain worms lol. Have a great day and thank you for the amazing content.

It was one of the few times that (Reader) saw Kirtch walking about without his robe on, wearing a soft top and bottoms that showed off the shape of his long legs. It was his day off, and he was cleaning his office, trying to get through his chores quickly so he could spend time with his sweet pet.

It was shortly after (Reader's) 'purchase', and they were doing everything in their power to make life difficult for their abductor owner.

Kirtch's back was turned to the mopey human for a good while, cleaning his bookshelves thoroughly. Although he knew everything about human anatomy, there were no studies on the effects of allergens common to the planets they visited on humans, so he took every precaution to keep (Reader) healthy. His arms reached high above his head, leaving him exposed.

Leaving his tight little ass exposed.

(Reader) couldn't act out too much, not wanting a repeat of their first night with him, but they could annoy him, refuse his affections, and get away with a surprising amount of shit under the guise of plausible deniability. Kirtch infantalized them so much, that if they accidentally pushed him too far, all they had to do was act dumb and he would instantly forgive them.

They snuck up behind Kirtch, holding their breath. Weighing the pros and cons, they decided that if they were punished for this, seeing his expression of pain and discomfort was worth it.

(Reader) wound up their hand, pulling their arm back behind their body like a spring trap, smiling triumphantly as they released, swinging their hand at top (Reader) speed towards Kirtch's butt.

Something bumped against Kirtch's bottom. It was so light that he thought maybe his pet had thrown a stuffed toy at him. He smiled, turning around to pick up whatever had bounced off of him, instead finding (Reader) doubled over, forehead on their knees, shaking violently.

"(Reader), pet?" Kirtch bent down in concern, confused by their vicious weeping. (Reader) cradled their dominant arm, sobbing. "What's wrong?"

"F-Fuck yo-you..."

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

Hmm so what about mommy Wanda coming home after a long and stressful day. She’s spent the entire time in meetings at the compound receiving very explicit text messages from you and very revealing photos. Her patience wearing thin. As soon as she gets home she’s forcing you to the ground and making you please her until she’s satisfied. Then lets you cockwarm her enchanted strap as a mini award while she works on reports that she couldn’t finish because you were being such a slut for her. She doesn’t let you cum that night but she lets you cockwarm her while going to sleep. You wake up in the morning to her still inside you and admiring your restful face. As soon as she notices you’re awake she covers your face in kisses. As she’s kissing you she unintentionally moves inside you causing you to let out a soft moan. She takes that as a sign to start teasing you and rocking gently into you. She gently pushes you onto your back so she can go a little faster. You can start to feel your much needed release rise and you know that Wanda is close too. You grasp onto her back desperately right as she cums. She she pulls out and makes you suck her clean and then tells you she has to go back to the compound for more meeting. She leaves you there soaked with a kiss to your cheek and the soft whisper to make it up to you tonight.

yesssss, reader lovesssss testing wanda. also edging as a punishment??!! top tier for sure.

as soon as she gets home, her eyebrows drawn and underwear damp, she sees your smirking face peeking out from your spot on the couch. at the mere sight of you sprawled out casually in only her sweater, she can't stop herself from grabbing your neck and forcing you to your knees. sitting down where you had just been on the couch, she spreads her legs as she pulls her skirt up, her hand firmly tangled in your hair as she brings your face closer to her.

"you've made mommy very upset, sweetheart. you know how much i hate teasing, it's almost as if you're begging to be punished." and when you let out a soft moan at her words, she knows she's right. taking no mercy on you, she practically shoves your head against her core, grinding softly on your face as she's finally releasing some of the pent up tension she's had since the first text message she received from you. you do your best, your tongue lapping up her arousal as she comes, not stopping even when your jaw starts to ache. by the third time wanda orgasms, you feel tears welling up at the tight hold she still has on your hair, your neck tightening from the awkward kneeling position you're in.

"did you think mommy was going to go easy on you? punishments aren't fun, darling. and i really don't like doing this, but how else will you learn your lesson?" wanda is unforgiving, holding your face against her as she comes two more times, before she pulls you up by the neck and drags you towards the bedroom.

you think she's finally going to fuck you when she walks over the the closet, grabbing her favorite strap on. you wait, not protesting when she leads you to her office, and sitting down on her strap with no resistance, your arousal leaking onto her thighs as she powers on her computer. "you're going to sit here and be quiet, like a good little slut. alright? a single sound or movement out of you and mommy won't touch you for a week."

you want to cry at the thought, but you stay still, every muscle in your body shaking as you tense up. wanda softly rubs circles into your thigh as she types with one hand, the movement letting you know that she's only punishing you for your behavior, not because she's actually mad at you.

after an excruciating half hour, your eyes have glazed over and your head is resting on her shoulder. she allowed the movement, saying, "i know my baby is tired, just a few more minutes and mommy will be done. you're taking me so well, honey."

then, finally she brings you to bed, carrying you with the strap still buried deep inside your pussy. you wake up immediately, your eyes hopeful as wanda laughs. "oh, sweetheart. did you think you were getting fucked tonight? no darling, you made mommy wait all fucking day, so now you get to wait all night."

you go to bed drenched, your pussy squeezing around her strap as she holds you close.

waking up the next morning, you're surprised to see her green eyes already open, her face soft as she smiles gently. you smile back, leaning forward to kiss her, your arms wrapping around her shoulders. that's when you feel it, and all the memories of the night before come rushing back in an instant. her strap is still buried in you, and you rock your hips slightly.

bad mistake.

the low simmering arousal that had been festering all night, returned with a vengeance. it swept through you, and you could have sobbed when wanda started moving, her hips purposeful as she slowly thrusts into you. you can barely think, the only thing on your mind being your orgasm.

wanda can tell that you're close, and she feels her own orgasm rising as she watches your face scrunch up and feels your hips attempting to rock against her. she rolls the two of you over until your back is against the mattress, and pins your hands against the pillow.

"go on, sweetheart. come as much as you'd like. mommy's sorry she made you wait all night but i think you've learned your lesson now, haven't you?" you nod frantically, your eyes wide and hopeful as she begins fucking into you earnestly. your nails dig into her back, your pussy over sensitive from cock warming her all night, and wanda comes instantly at the sensation. her hips stutter and jerks against your, pressing against your clit perfectly, and you come right after her, your moans filling the room as she brings you down from your high.

you're absolutely devastated when she pulls out, feeling empty and definitely unsatisfied. she presses the strap against your lips, and you immediately stick out your tongue and clean her off, your juices dripping down the soft skin of your inner thigh as you do so. even sucking her off doesn't fully sate your hunger. wanda just smiles at you, her eyes glinting as she urges you out of bed, kissing you softly before saying, "mommy has to go back for a few more meetings. if you behave yourself, i'll reward you tonight by letting you come as many times as you want, however you want."

[teisubrainrot]

minedai doodle dump from a while back (that may or may not have been all on one huge canvas that i kept expanding)

[cryptidfuckery]

Alex's Guide to Being the Best Ever Client at a Hair Salon

Hi my name is Alex and I've been a hairdresser for about 6 years now. Obviously over that time I've come to learn what things clients do that make me very happy to see, so here's some tips on how to be the best ever client and make your hairdresser love you to pieces!

Also please note that this is coming from a relatively independent hair stylist. My salon does not have a receptionist or assistants, just the stylists. All tips should work across most salons though.

BOOKING AND CONSULTATIONS

When calling or otherwise directly messaging a salon or stylist to book an appointment, KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO COME IN. If you need to check your schedule, do it before or have it open before you make the call. This will speed up the booking process exponentially!

DON'T BOOK A SMALLER COLOR RPOCESS JUST TO GET IN. If you're booking online, do not choose a color process with less time just to fit in to the stylist's schedule if you actually want a longer process. By this i mean not booking a partial highlight when you actually want a full. We will not be able to accommodate you, and will either have to leave you with the shorter process or reschedule you on another day when we would actually have the time to deliver what you want.

UNDERSTAND THEIR CANCELLATION POLICY. I know they can be annoying, but let me put it this way. When you are booking with a stylist, you're not booking a service, you're booking our TIME so we can provide the service you want. If you cancel last minute or no-show, you are costing us money that we could have made back by booking other clients. Especially on big ticket services that take hours. Cancellation policies allow us to y'know... still make rent.

YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT... BUT... Part of a stylist's job is to ask the right questions to figure out exactly what you want out of your color, style, or texture. If you don't know exactly what you want, BE READY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS AND MAKE DECISIONS. We are trying to get on the same page as you so you will leave happy.

If you are coming in for a color that is more work than just an all over color or root touch up (aka single process), please do a tiny bit of research into what you'd like. You don't need to know EVERYTHING, but for reference showing a search for "BRUNETTE WITH HIGHLIGHTS" isn't going to narrow it down as much as a search for "DARK BRUNETTE WITH NATURAL WARM HIGHLIGHTS" would. A good stylist should be able to ask the right questions to get down to what you want, but this will make it much easier and quicker.

On that note, DEAR FUCKING LORD WE LOVE PICTURES, SHOW US PICTURES. BRING US YOUR PINTREST BOARD. SHOW US THAT TIKTOK YOU SAW. It's one sure fire way for us to physically see what you're talking about, and a good starting point to then ask qualifying questions with a reference! It doesn't mean we can 100% make it happen, but it helps us get on the same page you're on and see what you're looking to achieve.

Last but not least, research your stylists! Check what they specialize in, see if you can find any of their work posted online. Finding a stylist can sometimes be like finding a therapist, you have to find the one that's right for you (both in personality and technique). Don't feel bad about switching stylists; if your old one kicks a fuss they weren't the right one for you anyway. You deserve to be taken care of by a person you're comfortable with, and who delivers the service you want to your standards.

The hair industry is. Fucking huge. There's so many of us. You can literally call and book a consultation for a cut or color without getting it done that day. You can do that at 5 different salons before deciding. If they get weird about it just say you had a bad experience with an old stylist that you'd rather not get into. There is always options for another stylist.

BEST BEHAVIOR IN THE CHAIR

#1 thing i wish i could tell my clients without being rude: phone goes away for the haircut. Color is more lax, we don't always need your head in a specific position to apply it. Hair cutting completely relies on the position of the head, especially for the perimeter length of your hair. If you are looking down at your phone the whole time, the haircut will not come out as good. We also will be asking you to move to other positions, so we need at least some of your attention. It's also so we as hair stylists aren't having to contort our body into weirder shapes to cut your hair.

To piggyback off that, it's also because of the cape. Best client thing to do is once that cape is on you, make sure it's draped fully over the arms of the chair you're in. We'll take care of the back. The cape is there to protect you from getting hair or color on yourself, but it can't work unless you are completely covered by the cape. Including arms. (I'm looking at the fucking phone again >:( )

When you are in the sink, your nose should be pointing toward the ceiling while you are being washed. This allows us to not drench your face or neck when we are washing your hairline around your face. If your nose isn't pointing toward the ceiling, ask if you are able to readjust.

Best ever tip for in the sink: if the stylist is lifting your head up to rinse the nape of your neck, do not lift your whole neck. Crane your head forward while keeping the base of your neck secure to the sink. This will help you avoid getting water down your back. Your stylist might cup their hand at your nape, just lean back into it like you were a rag doll. We don't want to get you wet, but you gotta trust us with your head at the sink.

If you wanna get an A+ as a client, watch how they fix the chair at the sink for you to get in. The clients that put their own feet up or adjust themself to the right position (after an appointment or two with them) are my loves. my life. yes babe make yourself comfortable, you're doin my job for me.

If you are looking for extra styling past a blowdry (IE: curling iron or flat iron), let us know at the beginning of the service. This can take more time or is an extra charge, so letting us know in advance can allow us to communicate that to you or make sure we have the time to provide the service you want.

And probably my best tip/hack for all my introverted or neurodivergent people nervous about having to keep up small talk. Before or after the consultation, when they inevitably ask how you are or how your day has been, repeat after me: "I've had a really long day/week and I'm looking forward to closing my eyes, relaxing, and being pampered." This will signify that YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK other than what needs to be communicated. If they press, just say work or school has been really hard and stressing you out, so you booked this to relax and have some personal quiet time. Heavy on the relax people. Then just fuckin vibe bro.

If we ever give you our number to text, ask if we cant coffee. Ouughhghgh give us a coffe we love a fucking coffefee. Or ask your stylist what their favorite treat is. Just lil things like that. It's like an extra tip for us!

FINISHING AND PAYING

So your service is done! Make sure you check it out yourself and ask for any adjustments. Remember, you're the one leaving with your hair on your head, and will have to live with it until you return to the salon. If you need something fixed or adjusted, ask! A good stylist will prompt you.

Ask how tips are accepted. You can do it during the service or at checkout, but asking is always appreciated! Not all salons allow you to tip on card, but cash will never be turned away. Venmo is also extremely common.

I work in the USA where a 20% tip is the norm. If you can't afford that, don't worry. If you can't tip at all, don't worry. We don't know you financial situation, and we are in no place to judge that. You still deserve to get the service you want. More often than not if you talk to us about it, we will absolutely be sympathetic. If your stylist kicks a fuss about a tip they get (or don't get), drop them and find someone else.

That being said... yes we like it when you tip more than 20%. Of course we do, it's more money directly to us for doing our job. But I'll be honest with you, I will go out of my way for a kind client i get along with that tips 5% the same way I'll go out of my way for a difficult client who tips 100%.

If you like us, rebook! By having an appointment already in the system you're guaranteeing a time for you to get back in. And if you can't make it, you can cancel it or reschedule. It will help your stylist's rebooking data, which can help them within the salon depending how the business is set up. Sometimes stylists have to reach a certain percentage threshold of rebooking to move up a level of prices or get a higher percentage of commission.

Last but not least, if you're chatting with your stylist after the service, be aware of two things. 1) do they have their next client waiting for them? 2) are you their last client? If either of these are true, try not to linger. We hate having to do the "Well, I've gotta get to my next client/start cleaning up to go home." This can change as you form a deeper relationship with your stylist over the years (sometimes even a friendship!), but please remember that we are at our job.

As of right now that's all I can think of. If I come up with anything else I'll reblog and add on. And please feel free to shoot me an ask if you have a question I didn't answer here, or want to know more about something I mentioned.

But finally I will leave you with this.

Yes, the hair stylist is the expert in hair. Yes, we can give you advice about your style. But here's the thing. When you walk out of the salon door, we aren't the one's dealing with your hair day to day. Even if you don't think you know a lot about hair, YOU ARE THE EXPERT ON THE HAIR ON YOUR HEAD. YOU are the expert on what you do and don't want to look like. We're the tool to get it done. Remember that!

[gazspookiebear]

Ghost x gn reader

Here, have some platonic fluff. I just had the worst milkshake and I can still taste it- to be fair, I was warned

It all started with a craving. The desire, no, need for a milkshake was getting to you, but you didn't have any regular ice cream.

Ghost stood behind you in the kitchen as you checked the freezer, again.

"I wonder if a banana mint chocolate chip milkshake would be any good?" you wonder out loud.

"Sounds horrible. Wouldn't recommend it, love. I'll get some vanilla ice cream tomorrow and we can make a milkshake then," he says, leaning against the counter.

You glare playfully at him in response, not willing to back down just yet. "C'mon, don't knock it 'till you try it! You're such a hater," you huff.

Too tired to argue, Ghost rolls his eyes at you. "Alright, you win. We'll make the bloody milkshake." He sighs in defeat.

Gleefully, you grab the pint of mint chocolate ice cream, milk, and bananas. In hindsight, it was a horrible combination.

With the monstrosity successfully created, you pour a glass for yourself. You glance at Ghost, who is giving you some serious side eye right now.

"Want some?" You offer.

"I'd rather not," he says bluntly. That doesn't stop him from grabbing a mug and pouring himself just a little bit of it.

He raises the bottom half of his mask to take a sip. He immediately regrets the decision, a small grimace flashing across his face.

You take a sip as well.

It's bad. Worse than you thought. It smells strange and tastes worse- not that you'd ever admit it to Ghost.

"It's not that bad." You sigh, glancing at Ghost's reaction. "Like I said, you're just a hater!"

He raises an eyebrow at you. "It's all yours, love. I'm not gonna fight you for it." He lifts his hands in mock surrender.

Later, you're both sitting on the couch. You convinced him to watch the barbie moving with you, not that he was particularly paying attention to it.

You sigh, and he looks over at you.

"Somethin' the matter?" He grunts.

"It's the fucking milkshake! I can still taste it! It was awful, why did you let me drink that?" you rant at him, feigning annoyance.

He crosses his arms at you and gives you an 'I told you so' look.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he chuckles.

The next day, you're much happier after having a normal milkshake with vanilla ice cream.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Autism and Amane

(CWs: Ableism, Child Abuse, Cults)

(Note: This is mostly based on personal experience and stories I’ve heard from other autistic people.)

It’s a bit of an understatement to say that I love Amane Momose. She’s my favorite character in the series, and I think about her constantly. It’s why I have this blog, I thought about her too much that I needed to write it out somehow.

A personal favorite headcanon of mine is the idea that Amane is Autistic. Mostly cause I’m autistic and I like head-canoning characters who I like with it. So now I'm just explaining why I find this reading of her character compelling.

Right and Wrong

There's no doubt about it that Amane is someone who is heavily constrained by rules and standards, and she expresses frustration towards certain rules in subtle or obvious ways throughout Milgram.

For example, the flag for vulgarity is the only one that is laying down on the ground in Purge March, something that is usually a sign for disrespect.

Implying that this is the rule that Amane breaks the most, something that is consistent with a lot of the other information we know about Amane. Since it seems like a lot of the things she finds enjoyable (cute outfits, amusement parks, performance art) are either neutered to the point of being boring or outright banned.

Outside of that, Amane doesn't operate on the rules of "normal" society. She operates on her own rules. Rules that are molded by the cult but still Her Rules. She does not care much for acting in ways that would be considered normal to people, and has stated that she is alright with that.

(T2 Amane VD)

Amane: Aren’t we the same? Me and Warden-san. You know, I’m aware that I’m out of the ordinary. That my environment was peculiar, and that everyone [else] is normal. Es: Amane… Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.” Es: … A: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

While this is influenced by her abuse and her justification of it, even before this Amane has been very consistent on repeating this idea that she does not mind not being considered normal and is not going to change how she acts just because other people said she should, for better or for worse.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either……

That isn't to say Amane Doesn't operate by rules, she does, to an extreme extent even. Something that is even shown above.

But she operates on rules she personally believes makes Sense. If she does not agree with a rule she believes to be nonsensical she will express that. If she does she'll follow it to the letter, even if it harms her or someone else.

21/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Shidou: Amane, I heard it was your birthday today. I asked Es-kun if we could get this cake to give to you…… Amane: I don’t need it. I’ll gratefully accept your well-wishes, but I don’t eat things like that. Also…… Shidou-san, I can’t say I’m especially fond of the way you assume that all children will love frivolous things like this. Shidou: ………… Is that so… I apologise. I’m sure everyone else will be happy to eat it, so don’t worry about it. Sorry for intruding. Amane: ………… ……cake……

She's very inflexible and dogmatic in that sense. But not just because of her cult. As stated she seems to disagree with her cult's view on vulgar things, and seems to have broken that rule multiple times before in the past and has gotten punished for it.

Not only that but she is insistent on certain ideas of "rightness" that are Outside of her cults worldview. For example, she consistently reiterates that children also have feelings and agency, to the point that's her Major focus in her T1 VD. Not her religion, not her crime, but her feelings about agency. The idea was just too important to her to simply let go.

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

What is a promise, if not a rule you swear to follow?

Good Interests

Now I would personally love to argue she has a special interest in religion as someone who was a kid with a Catholicism special interest (trauma is weird) but I don't think I have enough ground to argue that interpretation.

What I can argue, is a performance art special interest.

Amane seems to be deeply invested in performing arts. While it is a metaphor for how she's performing for her family and cult, outside of that she seems to actually show a genuine interest in it.

Amane is a bit of a critic. She seems to be a choirgirl that hates the songs she's singing.

T1Q14: Do you listen to music? A: Not really to songs that are highly entertaining.

Which implies that she knows what songs she Does find entertaining, and also that as established before Amane likes looking cute and pretty. She keeps on dressing herself in her MVs in cute outfits, and there is even a minigram about her being self-concussion about her hair and then getting it styled.

There's a Sincerity in these aesthetics, it really seems like Amane Enjoys Performing as an art form. The way she portrays her revenge is not her Stopping the performance, but for the marching band to break from the routine and to go full force into the "real world."

Not only that, but when Mikoto mentions he's an art student. Amane immdieatly asks him if he's good at drawing. The entire conversation shifting from their discussion about studies but about art.

20/07/15

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Her critic side even pops up here. Being surprised someone so "normal" seeming would be an art student.

It also seems like TV was a way for her to cope with her situation, judging by the final shot of Magic.

This stuff is so Important to her that it bleeds in Everywhere. Even when she tries to hide it to seem more like a "good girl." The visual ideas of performing arts and music come through.

As mentioned above, it seems like these interests were considered "vulgar" by her cult. It's not something a "good girl" like her should like.

It's something...abnormal.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Normalcy

Amane is not as good of a girl as she wants us to believe or wants herself to believe. She knows it. She knows it too well.

Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself? I promise! A pinky promise is a pinky promise!

She's promising that she'll follow the rules this time. Promising that she'll be a "good girl." A status that gets her a modicum amount of respect and safety.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

However, there's a sense of impossibility to become one, as if she was made Unable to fulfill the arbitrary conditions that were set by the people around her. Amane can only pretend to be a good girl, to...mask as one per-say. But she cannot Be One.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

Amane has been masking for basically her entire life, to various levels of success. To blend into the cult, and to seem "normal" in their eyes.

Except, she's inherently Unable to be one. It's not something about herself that she can change. To turn Amane into a good girl is to make Amane into something that isn't herself.

Amane isn't Human in the eyes of her cult, she isn't good enough to be one, she wasn't born in a way that allows for her to be Respected as one.

She's even Represented by The Cat in Magic.

Her feelings of pain and anger and isolation by being different are given to something inhuman. And since this is Amane's MV, this is partially an acknowledgement that she is not good enough to be a human

Not only that, but even in the prison she's isolated. The way she speaks is surprising for a child so the people around her aren't sure how to interact with her, and her unwillingness to act in a "proper" way gets certain people (Shidou) upset.

However, she doesn't seem to even view her seeming inhumanity as a bad thing.

Amane is consistently more frustrated at people not understanding her than her not understanding them. She cares about her feelings because no one cared to adjust to Hers. She cares about asserting her agency because if she does she'll be infantalized.

Because, In spite of everything, Amane deeply loves herself.

T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy.

Conclusion

I wrote this post partially cause I was inspired by this really good Dunmeshi analysis of Laios' autistic frustration. Which made me go "Wow I should do that but with Amane." So I did.

There's so much I can talk about really, but to me. Amane is a character who is in a world Hostile to who she is. Stuck between having to pretend to be "normal" for her own safety and hating having to do it because it's sickening and confining. Where her interests are controlled or considered "abnormal" meaning she is unable to indulge in them. Where the people around her can either demonize her or infantalize her for not fitting the standards they hold her to.

And, maybe it's just me. But I personally relate a lot to that, and I think there's something really amazing about how she's still able to love herself in spite of it all.

(And, I also think she's trans but that's a whole other discussion.)

[whump-queen]

In Relief and Reverie

continuation from this

Tags: vampire whump, creepy/intimate whumper, prettyboy vampire whumpee, starvation, worship and withdrawl ~ my usual nonsense

The vampire’s knees were starting to go numb.

He had no idea how long he’d been made to kneel there, at his owner's feet.

Aris didn’t move from where he’d been placed--the heavy rings of steel locked around his neck and his wrists weighed him down and tethered him to them.

Rowe leaned back in their seat, slowly wrapping one hand around the chain on the vampire’s collar. There was a tug on the chain, forcing a sharp exhale from Aris' throat as he was forced to lean in.

Rowe smiled.

The vampire’s eyes stayed locked to the floor, perhaps not willing to give Rowe the satisfaction. But Rowe was fine with that. They knew how to get the mutt’s attention. 

Rowe reached for their pocket, grinning wider. Fingers found what they were looking for; they slid a small shining object from the dark folds of fabric and flicked it open with practiced ease.

Sure enough, those red eyes darted up the moment he heard it—that all too familiar metallic shing that seemed to echo in the otherwise silent room. 

It was the scalpel. 

Again. 

Aris flinched back, expecting the pain, before he saw his owner bring it to their own skin and his eyes went wide.

Rowe snickered and aligned the blade, smug eyes never leaving the vampire for long; they began to carefully drag the blade through the skin on their own shoulder. It slid painfully slowly through the uppermost layers of skin, and Aris’ held his breath–it was so silent he swore he could hear his master’s skin ripping.

He knew nothing cloud prepare him for what was about to happen.

The moment the first bead of blood hit the air, his eyes shot alarmingly wide—irises glowing a bright, hungry red. 

He was panting; his fangs extended to full length without him even realizing. He bit back a whine and exhaled sharply through gritted teeth—his breath was coming in hot and fast—his chest was heaving with desperation—he instantly lunged forward when—

Rowe’s foot moved just slightly, the toe of their boot pressing forward to firmly meet the vampire’s sternum.

The vampire froze instantly. His eyes snapped up to his owner—wide and terrified, yet still alight with that deep hungry red, shining like glowing tail lights.

Rowe just sat there, looking casual as ever. The sole of their boot pressed more firmly into Aris’ chest, pushing him back a bit, and allowing absolutely no room to move forward. It wasn’t a rough gesture, but the message was clear enough.

“Move one more inch without permission and this boot will be buried in your mouth.”

Rowe could feel Aris shudder at the threat– poorly hidden.

“I should whip your back to shreds for what you just did.”

The vampire cringed at the whine that escaped his own lips. He wanted to sink into the floor. He sounded utterly pathetic.

Rowe couldn't help but crack a smile, a low, pleased hum buzzing just behind their teeth.

“You’re lucky you make for such a nice view.”

Rowe sat back, getting comfortable, vowing themselves to enjoy this.

“Today I’m feeling… generous. I might give you a chance to prove you can control yourself before I decide just how badly you’ve fucked up.” 

They leaned casually against the armrest of the chair with their chin resting on their hand. An amused hum slipped past their lips; their features twisted into a narrow-eyed smile as the vampire desperately tried—and failed—to compose himself over and over. 

Rowe let the blood drip freely.

...

It was a losing game, really.

Aris knew it was.

He knew it had been weeks now.

Weeks since he had last been allowed to feed.

But the blood was right there—fresh, delicious, hot, red, human blood—god, his owner had the best blood he had ever tasted—and it was trickling down their collarbone right in front of him and—

He didn’t deserve it.

He had lunged.

Was this all just a trick?

Was he not going to be hurt for this?

He’d rather just get it over with, so he could stop waiting around and suffocating in whatever terrifying limbo this was. 

So he could just suffer and make it better.

Aris knew.

He knew.

He had lunged. He was so sorry.

God, he’d take the beating gratefully if it meant an end to this—to the twisting poisonous feeling that squeezed around his insides.

It was torture, to not know where he stood.

Maybe if Aris took it well, he’d be allowed to beg, to plead and apologize over and over, as many times as Rowe allowed.

But it was a losing game, wasn’t it? 

A game against his own hunger, his instincts, his desperation—against that smell.

And then he understood.

This was his punishment.

To be made to wait.

To be made to fail.

To be locked in an unwinnable battle against the part of his mind that was screaming at him to lunge, to bite, to gnash his teeth like a wild animal, to clamp his jaws around anything he could reach.

It was right there. It was right there— in front of his face.

Rowe held him there for what seemed like ages, watching him with a pleased smirk—pressing the sole of their boot into his chest and swirling around the trickling blood on their own shoulder until the vampire was fucking drooling and whining, ensnared by the smell wafting through the room and the screaming voices in his own head.

At last, Rowe was sure that the vampire had reached his breaking point, that he would say or do anything if it got him out of this. They relished in his pitiful expression when Aris raised his gaze—the defeat in his teary eyes—and God he was pleading—

“Please— it’s been so long since… since you fed me.”

Rowe snickered, uncrossing their legs for a better view.

Perfect.

“Beg properly, pretty thing, and maybe I won’t make your punishment worse.”

The vampire bit straight through his lip trying to stop the low pained whine that slipped out through gritted teeth when he heard them say it. 

’Beg.’

“Please — you— you can’t make me do this—”

“What do you think, another three weeks? Or should we do four? You know I can starve you as long as I want to. It's not like you’ll die.”

Aris choked on his words, his throat closed up at every attempt, and nothing came out but a pitiful, terrified whimper.

Oh, he loathed it. A prouder version of himself might have held out, just to spare himself the shame. But it had been weeks. It had been weeks and god—it was the smell of them.

It was the sound of Rowe’s heart beating.

The way he could feel the blood pulsing through his owner’s veins—it was driving him beyond insane—he could barely think at all—

Fuck it.

His voice cracked and he felt the tears spill over.

That was no time for pride.

A icy pang of dread accompanied the realization that he had never been allowed to beg for forgiveness like this. Not for something this bad.

He only had one chance.

What if he got it wrong?

What if Rowe changed their mind—and—

please, I don’t know what you—

I—I don’t—

I don’t know how to please you.

He gazed desperately at the cut on Rowe’s shoulder through teary, glistening eyes.

Please—this has to work.

Slowly, he lowered himself to the floor, all the way down to Rowe’s shoes.

When that boot didn’t immediately rise up to crack across his face, he allowed himself to exhale, brushing his lips just barely against the cool leather.

The steel toe.

Kissing the thing that could slam into his face at any moment, that could shatter his entire jaw in a second, if Rowe so chose it. He was desperate.

He could only pray that this would please them.

His voice was a shaky whisper against the freshly shined leather—

”Please—please, please, please-”

Slowly but firmly, Rowe's boot hooked under his chin, forcing his head up to face them.

“Almost there, sweetheart.” A sickly sweet smile spread across their face. They could feel him shaking through the leather.

‘God, you're so gorgeous like this.’

“Please what... Come on, pet, tell me what you want.”

Rowe looped the chain that connected to his collar around in their palm once more, and Aris nearly choked when the metal tightened around his throat.

But he stayed down.

He knew better.

“Don’t be shy now, pretty. Tell me what you need.”

Every time Rowe opened their mouth, Aris felt another pang of humiliation hit his chest. He wanted to curl in on himself and cry.

But he knew better, and he pressed his lips once more against the leather of Rowe’s shoes, trailing slow kisses from the steel tip to the laces.

Though the thought of blood never faded from his mind, he started to drift into the task without realizing it.

His head felt fuzzy and so... heavy.

He heard Rowe give a pleased hum from somewhere above him, and felt his mind slowly melting into a foggy, desperate sludge—disorienting waves wrapped around his chest and his head until he was open-mouthed and tonguing at the laces and whining again.

Each breath was laced with an edge of something from deep within his chest. Something that had long since wound itself around his mind--a slow, slithering python that had now found its moment strike.

And when he felt the weight of Rowe’s other boot rest heavily on the back of his neck, he groaned.

It was bliss.

It was forgiveness.

It was a relief to be good.

To obey.

To have pleased them.

It was a relief dwarfed only by an imagined end to his hunger, but a relief he would take nonetheless.

Aris remained there, lips and tongue pressed to his owner’s shoe, worshiping in relief and in reverie, for as long as Rowe decided to keep him there.

—

Update 11/23: I did a rewrite of this I think its much better now <33

general taglist: @whumpshaped  @whumpsday @emmettnet   @a-whump-sideblog  @whump-it-like-its-hot  @wolfeyedwitch  @whumper-soot  @unorganisedalienrubbish  @hidden-dreamland @whumpedydump @lonesome--hunter @ashh-ed @whump-in-the-closet @oriantthegiant @banditosong @anonymustyou @feralwhump @jieunie-23 @whumpasaurus101 @morning-star-whump @whmp @captain-bo-bob-bobby @the-beasts-have-arrived @spooky-scary-vampires @burningkittypoet @veyroswin @painsandconfusion @skittles-the-whumpee @demondamage

[kobb4ni2]

So I recently got into Godzilla Minus One and in the novelization Godzilla made a symbiotic relationship with the islanders where they would give him gifts and in return he gives them fish.

Now imagine that with Sea Serpent Reader where she travels island to island and they see her as a protector/goddess of the ocean and gives her gift (nothing to drastic like a sacrifice) and in return she gives them food and protection. Let's say the that island manages to piss of the world government to the point of a buster call or Imu is about to destroy their island. Newsflash! Reader arrives and saves them and shows them the strength of what an enrage Sea Serpent can do

[ GENERAL NEUTRAL READER]

STOOOP YOU'RE LITERALLY READING MY MIND AND ALSO THERES A NOVEL FOR GODZILLA FR 😭😭⁉️⁉️ this is genuinely my first time knowing that!!

OKAY OKAY I CAN SEE HOW THIS ASK GOES

Ever since Sea Serpent! Reader awoken from their deep slumber and just swimming island to island, helping marine life and bringing seafood stock up to smaller island, Sea Serpent! Reader is just exploring the world and stuff trying not to get noticed by the World Government.

One normal day you saw a small island that was newly destroyed, most of its town were burnt to crisp and the island was tilting to the ocean surrounding it. You quickly try to see what happened and you were relieved to see that their were still people but all of them were badly hurt and were slowly dying because of famine and their wounds, you quickly realized that this was a work of buster call, you quickly get to work, having a HUGE body came also with ridiculous strength, so you use your strength you tilted the island to its normal landscape making sure that it won't ever tilt again, but by causing so the survivor's of that island came out of their hiding spot and and saw the gigantic beast aka you come out the water to see your work, the survivor's were shocked and thought that you were there to end the last remaining of them but before they can throw more insults at you, they were greeted with your hand that opened to reveal a handful of fishes, and when you put it all down you went to your human form, you then came up to them to see that they were also badly injured and they didn't have much supplies. Since you've lived for a thousand or even millions of years and gathering knowledge, you slowly helped the villagers to be in shape, using your many years of knowledge of how to treat injured people and rebuilding the island again.

Slowly but surely the islanders saw you as a deity for how you help them during their worst, and for your endless kindness they keep on giving foods after your long voyage and they even built a shine for you and for the islanders to give their offerings to you. You tried your best to explain to them that you don't need the offerings after all they need it more then you but they truly insisted no matter how many times you visit to check up on them your shrine would be filled with many delicious foods that were still piping hot, and the islander would even throw festivals when you come and visit, all the island kids will jump on your tail and use it as a slide, you can't decline or say no to them and with that you gave to accept the offerings they gave you.

And when the World Government sniffed this out that the country they tried to destroy was infact now striving and being helped by a "Sea deity" they immediately called for another buster call on the island.

When your heard the calls of help of the island, you swam as fast as you could and as your entrance you crushed a NAVY ship with you huge tail, they shouldst really have enrage the Sea Serpent themselves now they have to pay the price of the innocent civilians they hurted before.

AA such a cool ask tbh! I can see that this is how the World Government took noticed on Sea Serpent! Reader!!