#i realise not everyone has been here following my entire life story for the last decade

[danielnelsen]

sometimes i’ll randomly remember someone from primary school and go and see what they’re up to and today’s guy is now working as a child & adolescent psychologist with explicit mention of working with trans kids

[tarotwithlove]

PAC ⋆ the worst date you will ever have

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · BOOK A 2024 YEAR AHEAD READING WITH ME (GENERAL OR NSFW) · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · two of swords, the high priestess, eight of cups, strength, ten of pentacles, queen of cups. 

channelled songs · cozy by beyonce. friday i'm in love by the cure. lovers rock by tv girl. no snakes by cable. 

my dear group one ♡ the worst date you will ever have will honestly not even be that bad. i’m thinking of a bad date i had last year, where while the date itself had been bad, the aftermath is something i look upon fondly -- i had a lovely chat with the security guard outside the restaurant, then took my brother to this quaint little market that gets held every saturday, and bonded with my friends and family by complaining and laughing about the experience with them. 

so this bad date will be much like this, though, in your case, it might bring you and the person you’re on a date with closer together. especially as this may not be your first date together, and a precedent has already been set that your dates are good. especially, as well, as a lot of things that make this date ‘bad’ are out of either of your control.

you may have plans to go to one restaurant, only to be told that you don’t have a reservation there -- even though you both know that you did make one. you’ll argue about this reservation and show proof that you made the reservation, only to be told there’s nothing the restaurant can do. 

you’ll have to go  looking for another restaurant, which may be annoying as you’re both all dressed up and not exactly dressed to walk from place to place. you may settle for a cheaper restaurant that doesn’t need a reservation -- one that you both have visited in the past -- only to get there and see that it’s also full. 

you’ll end up going back home, miserable and frustrated at the way the night turned out. you may grumble and complain. but your partner will turn things around by deciding to cook for you. and while they may not be that good of a cook, the effort and the conversation -- the genuine care you feel for each other -- is what will make this enjoyable. 

GROUP TWO

cards · seven of cups reversed, six of cups, eight of swords, eight of pentacles, nine of wands, the devil. 

channelled songs · hallelujah jonghyun. say my grace by offset. the beach by vince staples. wtf i want by megan thee stallion. 

my dear group two ♡ the worst date you will ever have may put you out of the dating scene for a long while. this date may be with a friend or coworker, with someone who you find physically attractive but do not know all too well. you will get along well in your daily life -- as acquaintances or colleagues -- and so when they ask you out on a date you feel absolutely overjoyed. 

only for the date itself to completely ruin your image of this person. the scene from white chicks comes to mind, where terry crews’ character goes on a date with one of said chicks, who does everything in her power to ruin his image of her -- eating messily, being crude, and burping. in your case, however, it will not be intentional on this person’s part.

they will bring up their ex a lot, complaining about how the relationship ended and how this ex was an awful person -- following up with stories and examples that makes you realise this person, not the ex, was entirely in the wrong. 

they may eat or drink a lot, chew with their mouth open, and otherwise just carry themselves in a way that immediately makes them unattractive to you. and the more that they drink, the more touchy they become, encroaching on your space and being overly flirtatious. not keeping to themselves no matter how much you try to push them away and set a boundary that you’re not interested in taking the night any further. 

they may try to kiss you and try to take you home, and while you may have been interested in the idea at the beginning of the date, at the end of the date you just want to run out of there. especially as the jokes they tell, which are unfunny and filled with crude sexual innuendo, only get worse as the date drags on and act as the final straw for you. 

GROUP THREE

cards · knight of wands, strength, the world, ten of pentacles, page of wands, nine of wands. 

channelled songs · no more ma boy by sistar19. dna. by kendrick lamar. i was king by one ok rock. greedy by tate mcrae. 

my dear group three ♡ the worst date you will ever have may be with someone in a position of power. or someone with some kind of authority over you. this may be someone wealthier than you, more stable than you, and may be someone you look up to -- like a professor, manager, or a celebrity that you admire. and all these things come together to make you utterly nervous about this date, even as you are utterly excited for what will ensue. 

you’ll be entranced in the beginning, as this person will go out of their way to spoil you. bringing you a bouquet of flowers and picking you up in a luxury car. you’ll feel awed, loved, and appreciated. 

but the date itself will make you feel as if you are completely out of your depths. they may go out of their way to ensure your date is as private as possible and that you are comfortable as possible -- the latter, because they are taking your power imbalance into account. they will choose the place -- which will be a place they’re familiar with -- and, thus, you will run into a lot of their friends and colleagues. these friends and colleagues may be as famous, wealthy, established, or intellectual as them, which will make you feel insecure. 

you’ll feel as if everyone is looking down on you and making fun of you. that to even be asked out of this date was a joke that everyone is in on but you. you’ll look around the room and feel like you just don’t fit in. that you don’t belong. and that it was obvious to everyone but you, from the very moment that you walked in. 

this will be mostly projection on your part. your partner will pick up on your anxieties and try to put you at ease, but you’ll be so in your head that you won’t believe them. you might have a panic attack or feel like crying, to the extent that you have to excuse yourself and run to the bathroom to take a moment to breathe or to break down into tears. you may end the date early, which leaves your partner feeling confused because -- as far as they know -- they hadn’t done anything wrong.

GROUP FOUR

cards · ace of cups, nine of wands, six of swords reversed, the chariot, strength, nine of pentacles.

channelled songs · obsessed with you by central cee. sparkling by chung ha. no blueberries by dpr ian. as it was by hozier. 

my dear group four ♡ the worst date you will ever have will be with an established partner. you may be in a long distance relationship, and when you finally get to see each other you are absolutely overjoyed. you are thinking about all the things you will do together, all the cuddles and kisses you will share, all the dates that you will go on. you even think that this may be when you finally get engaged -- something you’ve wanted for a long time, and something that you thought they wanted just as much. 

up to this point, all your conversations may have been about the future. about how you plan to marry and spend the rest of your lives together. 

but on this date, this will all fall apart. surprising you. actually, shocking you. you’ll go out on this date, all dressed up and holding hands and not really feeling like anything is different. they may be on edge, so you’ll think that it’s just because the proposal is coming or because they want to tell you something important. you won’t think too much about it, figuring you can ask when you sit down for dinner. 

when you do ask, they’ll heave a deep sigh and tell you that they didn’t know how to bring it up but they think you should break up. 

you’ll feel your world shatter around you. you’ll feel confused. you’ll feel like you’re in physical pain. this may lead to an argument in this restaurant and may lead to you running out, tears streaming down your face; unsure about what to do now that this person has so plainly told you that they no longer love and want to be with you. 

[padfootagain]

You and the King (II)

Chapter 2: The Announcement

Hello!! Here I come with the second chapter of my sequel for The King and You! Things are being slowly set up into motion…

I hope you like this new chapter! Let me know what you think!

****

Pairing: Caspian x reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Sequel to The King and You – After meeting Caspian in your own world, you decide to follow him to Narnia, your love for him too strong for you to keep your old life. But as you discover the magic of Narnia, you soon realise that this extraordinary world is as dangerous as it is magnificent. Will your love for Caspian be enough to defeat your new enemies?

Word Count: 3314

Masterlist for the series – Caspian’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

As soon as Caspian entered the room, there was nothing but silence.

It was impressive, to say the least. The way he stood in front of the crowd assembled in the throne room. Tall, straight, kingly.

It was time to announce your presence, to set things into motion for the two of you. In the throne room were gathered most people living in the fortress, the entire court… you were trying to forget about all these people you would soon have to face, there were too many of them for your heart not to pound at the mere thought. Instead, you focused on Caspian who was standing there, before the entire room, looking like a King you could barely recognize, and yet still wore the features of the man you loved.

And yet when his dark eyes fell upon you, his gaze softened, like it always did. Same familiar love held in his irises…

It was still him. It felt a little strange, still.

“Thank you all for coming,” Caspian spoke in a loud, firm voice.

Instead of taking his usual seat on the throne now, he remained standing. Many were surprised. It wasn’t the protocol… something important must be happening.

There were rumours about you going around the Castle, about this woman who had burst into the signing room, and single-handedly destroyed an alliance. Lord Cirvan had been thorough as he spread the words. But almost no one knew what you looked like, and even less people knew who you truly were.

You spotted the small group of friends Caspian had introduced you to earlier that day. He had warned you that tonight would be a long evening: after the announcement, he would conduct a meeting with his advisers, ministers, and generals, to introduce you to them properly. It would be boring, he had warned you about that too. But he had also promised to hold your hand, so everything would be fine…

You spotted Diego and Ammos as well, your bodyguards, although Caspian had not called them that. Ammos was impressive, standing near the entrance of the room, taller and larger than everyone else. But then again, he was a minotaur…

All of this was pure madness…

“Many things have happened in the last few days, and I have no doubt you have heard many versions of these events. It is time you hear about the real story.”

Silence was heavier than ever as Caspian spoke again, it made the air thick, almost palpable. Everyone was hanging to his words.

“A woman from the other world has come to Narnia.”

There was a true commotion throughout the room. Instead of silence, now there were whispers shaking the air, eyes growing round, exclamations ringing across the room.

You really did have a better welcome here than Caspian had in your world…

“She is from the land of our Queens and Kings of Old. And just like them, she will rule.”

A new commotion shook the room. You couldn’t say there was animosity, it was more of a global sentiment of disbelief.

“Please, welcome, Lady Y/N Y/L/N.”

Caspian turned to you. You were sitting in one of the front-row seats, he had chosen a beautiful velvety dress for you. Had given you jewellery too. It felt heavy, all of it. The fabric falling around you, the necklace and its gems at your neck, the gold at your wrist. It felt heavy, like royalty, like something you weren’t…

You stood up as he extended his hand towards you, and he met you at the base of the five steps leading to the thrones, holding your hand as you climbed with him.

When you turned towards the crowd again, your head was spinning.

So many faces gathered, all staring at you. All silently asking a thousand questions about you.

You read one in almost every stare: who is she to the King?

You tightened your hold on Caspian’s hand, and he did the same. But the gentle squeeze of his fingers was reassuring, when yours was made of pure panic…

So many people before you… at least two hundreds… how could so many fit in a room like this anyway?

You could feel your heart beating faster and faster, the air struggling now to travel to your lungs… Your head was spinning… dangerously so…

And I cannot believe that even after twenty chapters I – your loyal narrator - still have to come to your rescue, and yet, here we are again. Because you need to calm down, now. You can’t faint in front of the entire Narnian court. So, take deep breaths. Deep breaths… that’s it… your head is spinning a little less now, that’s good.

I really am not paid enough for this… in fact, I’m not paid at all! You’re lucky I like you…

By your side, Caspian was still perfectly calm, waiting for the whispers to shush down again by themselves.

“We will remain here for one more week before going back to Cair Paravel. Once we are there, we will have a celebration to plan.”

You felt him looking at you, and you were much calmer again once you had caught his dark eyes with yours, once you had exchanged a smile.

The feeling was gone as soon as he looked away though, and you were left to deal with the stares from the crowd with merely my not-so-efficient breathing exercises.

I’m doing my best here… Sorry if I can’t compete with King Caspian X…

“We will celebrate our engagement there.”

This time, there were no whispers in the hall, only gasps and cheers and claps and everyone was smiling, everyone was laughing.

You smiled, relieved… and when Caspian turned to you again, you were both grinning, like the two lovesick fools that you were.

And everyone was clapping, chanting even. Cries echoing down the hall and escaping through the windows to spread the words beyond the boundaries of the fortress.

Long live the King and Queen of Narnia!

The Queen! The Queen!

And it was a moment of great joy, of celebration. You were relieved. Nothing else seemed to matter in the room. The King was to be married, to someone sent from the world of the Kings and Queens of Old. She had to be a friend of Narnia. All was well. Happy days were on the horizon.

Everyone in the throne room was happy…

… or well, almost everyone.

Caspian had told you about a small meeting, but actually, there were about thirty men in the room.

Only men, you noticed that immediately.

Great start, to boost your confidence…

You felt reassured when you recognized Drinian and Reepicheep. Trufflehunter and Trumpkin were there too. There was an empty spot though, close to Caspian’s chair, you wondered who it belonged to.

All rose as you and Caspian entered the room. A long room, with walls of stone. Cold. Tapestries hung on the left wall; and on the opposite side large windows of stained glass painted crazy shapes and colours onto the wooden table sitting at the centre of the room. It was easy to spot Caspian’s chair, it was much taller than everyone else’s.

A King’s chair…

He gave the men in the room a kind smile as they bowed before the two of you. You were too nervous, and tried to smile, but it came out shy and hesitant.

Caspian guided you to the chair on his right, and you noticed that it was bigger than the others too, more richly carved.

A Queen’s chair…

He gave you a discreet nod, and you both sat down. Only then did the rest of the men stood straighter again, and then sat down as well.

An awful lot of etiquette, that you needed to learn as fast as possible, you reckoned.

You were calmer now than in the throne room, but you were still scared, it was obvious. And Caspian was worried. Because you were unwell, but also because you were not as used to hide your emotions, not as much as he was.

He liked that about you. But would you fit in the court if you remained this way? He hoped you would…

“I reckon we should start this meeting by addressing our newcomer.”

There was humour in his smile, and many of the lords and generals smiled as well. You relaxed a little bit, unsure if it called for a response on your part or not.

But you didn’t need to speak for now. Caspian started by explaining the situation with Lord Cirvan, and the true reason behind the loss of their previous arrangement. You.

“Lord Baras,” Caspian called, turning to a tall man in his forties on his left, “you have followed the progress of our negotiations since the beginning. We will meet together tomorrow morning to discuss the new treaty.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Lord Luis and General Amiraz,” Caspian went on, giving away his orders. “You will be in charge of our travel back to Cair Paravel. Get the preparation started, we will meet in three days to discuss the details.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

On his right, Drinian seemed lost in thought, and Caspian noticed it at once. He didn’t address him for now, though.

He went on, giving orders, planning things out, and you felt quite useless for a while. You glanced over at the empty chair on your right. You wondered who was supposed to sit there…

You were surprised when Caspian reached for your hand, but his touch was welcomed, it always was.

He offered you a kind smile.

“I’m sure you have many questions, it will be easier to answer them than to tell you everything from the beginning. So, go ahead.”

There was a moment of silence, of hesitation. And then, the first hand was raised. It was Lord Baras’s.

“For how long has lady Y/N been in Narnia?” he asked, his voice hesitant, clearly unsure if he meant to address himself directly to you or to Caspian first.

But Caspian didn’t answer, instead he turned to you with an encouraging smile.

You needed to talk now. You needed to learn how to address people in this kind of meetings. You were to be Queen, after all. And Caspian reckoned it was not his place to speak in your name. You were far too strong and independent for that kind of game.

You cleared your throat, your hands clammy with anxiety, and you wondered if it bothered Caspian. But he was still holding your hand in his.

“I’ve arrived only yesterday,” you answered with what you hoped was a kind smile.

“Have you come to Narnia before, my Lady?” Baras went on, talking directly to you now.

“No, never, I’m afraid.”

Someone else spoke, this time without asking for permission, a rather old man, at the far end of the table.

“You must be quite unfamiliar with our ways then, my Lady. Is it not something we should worry about?”

“I have already asked for several of my must trusted advisers to teach Lady Y/N all she will need to know about Narnia,” Caspian answered. “Still, it is true that she will need a little bit of time to adapt to our ways. I am counting on all of you to help her, if need be, and to be benevolent with her, even if she makes mistakes at the beginning.”

“But… if I may speak plainly, Sire?” asked Baras.

Caspian nodded, giving him a silent authorisation. But you read in the way his smile had tightened that you were right, as you guessed that this kind of question could only mean that the remark that followed would not be pleasant at all for you.

“If Lady Y/N has arrived only yesterday, and if she knows nothing of her ways… Of course, I understand that she comes from the same world as the Kings and Queens of Old, and I do understand then why you would choose her for a wife, but… is it not a little rushed, My Liege? Maybe… a few months of courting could be wise.”

But Caspian smiled.

“I have already met Y/N before. We know each other well. I am certain about my choice.”

“But if she has never come to Narnia before…”

Caspian took a deep breath.

“I have travelled to her world.”

The room was shaken by exclamations and questions, but Caspian rose his hand, and all fell silent again.

“I have no intention to share with you what happened there. As you can see, I am here, perfectly well. Y/N and I met in her world. I trust her. I have chosen her to be my wife, and that is all you need to know. And to reassure you, Lord Baras, Y/N and I know each other enough. There is no need for courting anymore.”

The Lord nodded, and he seemed to relax indeed.

“Actually, it could be to our advantage to hurry the wedding,” the lord went on. “It would prevent Lord Cirvan in his plotting to build an alliance with Narnia through marriage.”

“That is why the announcement was spoken today,” Caspian nodded.

“After we have celebrated your engagement at Cair Paravel, everything will be completely official, and we will be more at ease to plan the actual wedding,” said Reepicheep.

You answered a few more questions, although you couldn’t claim to relax even if you spoke more. It was still impressive to be the focus of so many stares, of so many questions…

The meeting went on for a while; when you all got up to leave it was night time already, and torches had replaced the colours of the stained-glass windows.

You were about to leave and follow Caspian when Lord Baras called for you.

“My Lady, I simply wanted to bid you an official welcome to Narnia,” he told you with a kind smile. “In the name of all of us here. We understand your situation must be difficult, and we will help you, if we can. We are but servants to the Throne.”

“Thank you, Lord Baras,” you nodded, still hesitant but your smile was earnest this time. “I have to admit that I’m not very at ease for now, but… I will learn to be. And I can assure you that I will do all I can to learn your ways and… to… do what I’m supposed to do.”

He seemed a little amused, but he smiled kindly all the same.

“I have no doubt you will, my Lady. And I congratulate you for your engagement.”

“Thank you.”

Caspian was waiting for you a couple of steps away, listening closely to the conversation. You turned to leave with a last kind smile towards the lord, and followed Caspian outside.

Lord Luis and a couple of others lingered by the door with Baras, waiting for most of the room to be empty again.

“Are we going to mention the fact that our King has apparently left Narnia?” Baras asked the small group.

“And seemed quite unbothered by it. What if he had not come back?” added General Amiraz.

“Indeed… We need to learn what happened. Where he went…”

“And what do you think of the woman?” Luis asked his colleagues. “Is she a good one? Or is she crawling her way up to the throne through him?”

Baras heaved a sigh, staring at the high chair where you had sat.

“For now… hard to tell…”

You spotted Ammos and Diego before the door of your chamber. Caspian had walked you back to your room, but you knew what the presence of your two bodyguards meant.

“Caspian… can we have a moment?” you asked him in a whisper as you walked closer to your door.

He nodded, but glanced over at the two soldiers, who stood straighter as you approached them.

He couldn’t walk inside your bedroom, not if anyone was to witness the scene. It would make too much of a scandal.

He smiled at the two guards.

“Leave us a moment, make sure we are not disturbed,” he ordered, and the two soldiers bowed before him and left the corridor, each one securing one end of the hall.

“What is it, my love?” Caspian asked in a whisper.

You frowned a little at his tone.

“We cannot enter, they saw me accompanying you,” he explained. “And I always fear eavesdroppers.”

“Nice…”

“You get used to it.”

He reached up to brush his knuckles across your cheek, and your heart skipped a few beats under his touch.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, his tone more tender now, more worried as well.

“Did everything go fine today?” you asked in a trembling voice.

“Yes, it went fine. Everything went as planned.”

“Who was absent during the meeting, then? Was someone sick?”

Caspian clenched his jaw, looked away, but didn’t answer. You frowned at the sight.

“Who was it?”

“It was Dalia,” he answered.

He heaved a sigh, but shook his head.

“She might be sick, she was not herself this morning either.”

“Or she simply doesn’t like me,” you argued, but Caspian shook his head.

“No. Why would she not like you? She does not know you at all.”

You shrugged.

“You said that she was your oldest friend. Perhaps she’s trying to protect you.”

He wanted to deny it all, but he had to admit that it made sense. Maybe that was what was wrong.

“Do not worry over this, though,” Caspian answered. “I will talk to her in the morning, see what was wrong with her.”

You nodded.

“So… you’re not coming in?” you asked in a whisper even lower than before, barely audible, just a breath.

“Not tonight. We must be careful. Now that the announcement has been made, many will try to track our movements, many rumours will run through the Castle. There is no need to fuel them.”

You nodded, but couldn’t hide your disappointment.

“Good night, then,” you gave him a smile.

“Doctor Cornelius will come to your chamber tomorrow morning. Dalia will help you during the afternoon. I am not certain to be able to see you before tomorrow evening for dinner. I will have a busy day.”

You nodded.

“I’ll see you then. But… Caspian?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we get away with a kiss?”

He gave you sad smile.

“Not tonight. Let us be irreproachable tonight.”

You nodded, moving to the door.

“I love you,” Caspian whispered as you reached for the doorknob.

You turned to him with a grin.

“I love you too.”

He waited until you had disappeared, until he had heard the loud click of the lock, before walking away.

He found Ammos down the corridor with Drinian, they were talking in whispers as well, but they stopped when their king approached them.

“Ammos,” Caspian spoke louder now, but his voice was still low, just above a whisper. “You and Diego will remain stationed before Y/N’s door for the rest of the evening. Make sure guards are stationed there too before going to sleep. No one is to see her but Doctor Cornelius tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, Sire.”

The minotaur walked away, leaving Caspian and Drinian alone.

“We have much to discuss, Your Majesty,” Drinian sighed.

“Bad news?”

“Many. And more to come.”

“Cirvan?”

“Indeed. But there are others who are starting to look for answers too.”

“Baras and Luis, I guess, are among them.”

“Indeed. I am not certain if their intentions are evil or good though, not yet.”

“Let’s go to my office. We have a long night ahead. Oh, and Drinian?”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

“While I go change into more comfortable clothes, send someone to Dalia’s chambers, I will see her tomorrow at dawn.”

Drinian bowed slightly, and turned on his heels.

Caspian heaved a sigh, alone in the corridor again.

Dalia? Of all people?

********

Taglist : @reg-arcturus-black @intothesoul @sergeantbuckybarnes @pat-sirius @rockintensse

[ninadove]

i can’t pick a snippet but whatever meta you want from sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall! and good morning, nina! 💗🦚

Good morning Noctie! 🌅

Yes, let’s talk about the sword-fighting fic while I procrastinate writing another fight scene.

Ask game here!

One thing about me is that I absolutely love short stories with a twist ending. Give me a reveal in the last few lines that reframes the entire work in a brand new light, and I will be giggling and kicking my feet uncontrollably.

Sometimes It’s Worth It All is my attempt at recreating this kind of narrative. And, of course, the twist comes from Felix.

By the time he enters the fray, Kagami is exhausted from twenty-four hours of fighting for her life… But also from months of watching her world crumble around her following her mother’s murder. She’s accepted that she spent her entire life tangled in an elaborate web of lies, and that she alone can see through the deception.

But… That’s not entirely true, is it. Like many abuse survivors, even as the fog progressively lifts from her eyes, she’s still held back by a few persistent convictions:

Before he even gets a chance to speak, Felix is introduced as a monster, and well. It doesn’t help that he’s been sent to kill her, does it. Yet, as soon as he opens his mouth, he warns her against her own prejudice:

In canon, too, Felix is constantly navigating others’ perception of him and proving them wrong. He’s a Sentibeing lost in a world that wants him dead, but also just a regular child; he has a PhD in identity theft; he’s a manipulative little bitch, but is constantly searching for the truth; he masqueraded as a hero, only to become one on his own terms.

But in the context of this fic — Kagami hasn’t seen season 5! She doesn’t know the themes! And so, her natural instinct is to believe he is trying to tear her newfound rebellious spirit to the ground before ultimately getting rid of her, 1984 style:

If Felix was genuinely trying to torture her, it would be easy for him to land a blow on an already exhausted target, to accompany his little rant with actual physical pain. Instead, he is careful to stay out of range of her blade, but never strikes back (Get it? Strikeback?), except to disarm her when she pierces through his fan.

What he’s actually doing here is trying to uncover who she is as a person, and pushing back against the wonky convictions she still has left.

Which of course culminates with the realisation that she is, in fact, just like him, and the decision to commit treason for her:

Because of course he would. As much as I leaned into Felix’s moral ambiguity earlier in the fic, this is the only option that makes sense for his character: he’s willing to put everything and everyone at risk to rescue his kind.

The broken fan is, of course, an allusion to Pretension, and how easily Felix rearranged his entire moral compass to stand by her side. In every universe, Kagami is his priority: he’s always going to choose her, whether it means abandoning the fight of his life or starting what is absolutely going to turn into a civil war.

Kagami has never been shown mercy in her life before, much less this level of insane devotion. From the moment he chooses to spare her, her worldview shifts entirely, and this is of course most visible in the way she refers to him: abandoning his title to call him by his name, and even catching a hint of Argos magenta in his eyes.

They see each other now. Everything is going to be OK.

[jacaranda-bloom]

Five Fave Fics

The always lovely @haztobegood tagged me to share my Five Fave Fics - thank you so much! This is always really hard because my favourites oscillate depending on my mood and how recently I’ve written them, but here’s how I’m feeling it at the moment...

🍁 Man, Deconstructed | 14k | Explicit | I think this one will always be high up on my list of fave’s. It’s just the right length to read in one sitting, the characters are so earnest and adorable, and the secondhand embarrassment just gets me every single time. 

Where a well-meaning best mate, a sculpture-worthy arse, and a heaping dose of misunderstanding combine to create sheer and utter chaos, and also, maybe, the best thing Harry’s ever found.

🍁 The Future Is Now | 16k | Explicit | Another short one that always makes me smile. Louis is charmingly oblivious to what the universe (or rather the fortune telling machine) is trying to reveal to him about his best mate. He eventually gets there, of course, but the road he travels and the scenarios he has to navigate are deliciously infuriating and that just makes the ending even more satisfying.

Where Louis follows the fortunes five times to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him all along.

🍁 In A Twinkling | 90k | Explicit | Ahhhh my 2021 Advent Fic. It never ceases to amaze me how the underlying messages in this fic crept up and whacked me over the head. I still remember calling my sister mid-meltdown when people started commenting about Louis’ journey of self-discovery and how much it resonated with them. It had started as a quick romp of a thing, and then ended up consuming me in the best possible way. I’ll forever be grateful for the ride the readers took me on with this one, for how they embraced the characters, and for giving me the most wonderful Christmas Present that lasted the whole of December. 

Where Louis’ Nan just wants him to be happy, to settle down with a nice boy, and bring him around for Christmas. Louis is too busy with his career to bother about relationships, but in an attempt to appease his Nan, he sends her photoshopped pictures of him and his pretend boyfriend, Harry. The fact that the man in the pictures is none other than Harry Styles, world famous Gucci model—and recurrent star of Louis’ fantasies—is irrelevant. It’s not like their paths will ever cross… So it comes as somewhat of a surprise when Louis returns home for Christmas and walks into his Nan’s sitting room only to find the real-life Harry Styles happily chatting away with the grey-haired ladies of his Nan’s Crochet Circle.

🍁 No Going Back | 56k | Explicit | This one will likely make any faves list of mine for a long time to come. This was the fic where I felt I found my writing style and really hit my stride. The setting on an isolated island off the bottom of Australia where they were caretakers for a lighthouse just really landed with me. But it wouldn’t have been half the fic it was without being able to work with an amazing collaborator to create the separate travel blog, which was such a treat! 

Where one choice - a left instead of a right, a go instead of a stop, a yes instead of a no - can change the future forever and that sometimes, taking that leap of faith, is worth the risk.

🍁 If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) | 56k | Explicit | I know hybrid fics aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but this fic was where I felt like I really started to push the boat out and be braver with my writing. The amount of world building that went into this story was overwhelming at times, but is probably also where I found the passion for it that has continued up until this day. Creating an entirely new society, with many of the same problems we have in our own world, just revealed through a different lens was so rewarding for me. Anyway, I adore this fic and I will love it until the end of time.

History teaches us many things. It allows us to learn from the mistakes and achievements of our past, it colours our present, and guides and influences our future.

Sometimes change comes quickly, barrelling on and sweeping up everything in its path.

Sometimes change comes more slowly, one tentative step at a time, barely making a ripple in the fabric of society.

Sometimes change needs an army, a force so powerful it overwhelms all who try to stand in its way.

But sometimes, all it takes is one man, whose love for another is so pure, so enduring, and so powerful that it can rise up and triumph against all the odds.

This is the story of how one man’s love changed the world.

I’ll tag @allwaswell16 @disgruntledkittenface @lululawrence @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @evilovesyou @neondiamond @parmahamlarrie and @fallinglikethis if you’d like to do this and haven’t already xx

[rataltouille]

LITTLE BY LITTLE

HI IM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS SILLY LITTLE STORY. it is:

a feel good lighthearted story about a bunch of kids in high school 👍

one half enemies to lovers romance, other half queerplatonic coming of age 🤨

dual storyline following two annoying siblings who will die for each other 🤱

set in chennai because i want to draw the city i grew up in and have a crisis over not having seen it enough 🤯

me deciding to compensate for my non existent final years of high school via fiction because who needs therapy tbh 🤔

BLURB

It’s Sameera’s last year of high school, and everything’s going her way: she’s a student council head, the captain of the girl’s Kho-Kho team, and she’s liked by almost everyone in her grade. Almost. Frigid, uptight Kayalvizhi, fellow council head, is the lone exception. Their first interaction was a nightmare, and while Sameera is told that Kayalvizhi’s just indifferent to everyone around her, she still feels personally attacked. So when the two of them are paired up as the cultural leaders for their school’s end-of-year ceremony, she’s more than thrilled to prove Kayal wrong by outshining her in everything. Too bad the latter’s determined to shut Sameera up by competing just as fiercely. What neither of them expects, though, is to find common ground, or to realise that the other person isn't who they thought they were, or, god forbid, actually start to enjoy each other’s company.

Anbu is a reserved kid, Sameera’s younger sibling by two years and the apple of every teacher’s eyes. Still just getting used to adolescence, Anbu is, to say the least, a bit disoriented. They’re exploring their confusing world, trying out new hobbies, grappling with their gender identity and pushing the limits of the life they’ve led so far. But right when they think they’ve got it all figured out, change hits them between the eyes in the name of Tamizh—their cool, mysterious neighbour who’s come back from Mumbai years after moving away. Anbu and Tamizh were childhood best friends, but that's childhood, and they know better than anyone else that adolescence upends everything with a rage. As the two’s rekindled friendship begins to deepen, Anbu is left questioning whether they see him as a friend, a crush, or something else entirely.

At least one thing’s certain for them all: this will be an unforgettable year.

CHARACTERS

SAMEERA. she/her, bi. annoying ass extroverted jock mf. everyones fave gremlin. needs constant love and validation or else she will perish

ANBU. they/them, trans. former sweetheart now saddled with a growing bloodthirst. going through too much all at once and is on the verge of emotional burnout.

KAYALVIZHI. she/her, trans, lesbian. moody ass introverted nerd mf. hates every single person to ever grace this planet and i love her so much actually

TAMIZH. he/him, aro. Resident Cool Kid™ except he feels very uncool and very unchill, ball of nerves just barely keeping it together. is unlearning a lot of toxic beliefs on gender and he’s doing it with style.

SO WHATS THE DEAL HERE

idk what happened in the last two years but i’ve gone from being a prose hoe to a webcomic bitch and it has been working out great for me. comics are such a brilliant format for someone who’s equal parts artist and writer and recently all my important all-consuming story ideas have been webcomic ideas and im so excited to get to make them!!

there are two parts to this story, two parallel arcs, one for each sibling: sameera’s enemies to lovers story with kayal and anbu’s queerplatonic coming of age thing with tamizh. i think the main inspiration behind this was a) bridgerton season two which was the first time i actually ENJOYED an enemies-to-lovers romance and which made me go hmm yanno what. i’m going to do the same but without british people. b) me realising that as much as i love romance and writing romantic relationships i also would like to write a queerplatonic relationship please and thank you [it is endlessly amusing to me that my favourite genre is romance despite me being aromantic lmao] and i esp wanted to try writing a qpr from the pov of the non-aromantic character, just for that extra spice!

in the very short time ive had these four they’ve taken over my brain completely and i love it so much!! im currently working to on getting the basic prep work done [character turnarounds, uniform designs, bg models etc etc] and i’ll post updates on progress whenever i feel like lmao

[dandelion-sugar]

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐟𝐞 『Adam x Reader』

Summary: Reader was Adam's first wife before he married Eve.

Warning: Angst, a little fluff, death, deities are really cruel

15,8k

Author's note: Requests for Genshin have not been forgotten! I'm working on it BUT I just finished season one of Record of Ragnarok and needed to write about Adam. I think he deserves more writing about him...he's the best husband and father Earth could have!

"A demoness? A succubus? No! A human whose legends turn her into a fearsome ruler of the underworld! She rules an entire army with an iron fist! Made of the clay of creation, she is made in the image of the gods! N°00000000002 : Lilith!" shouted Heimdall to announce your entrance.

You have been chosen to save humanity. The creation of Adam and Eve. You don't know why Brunhilde trusts you to save the humans. What could she possibly have been thinking in choosing you? Were you the best choice for this? Protecting the beings conceived by your ex-husband and his new wife. Unlike your ex-lover, you refuse to walk around naked. Your body is far too precious to be revealed to the world. You stand in the middle of the arena waiting patiently for Heimdall to finish presenting your opponent.

Your eyes rest on your army led by your only son. The only being you have ever given birth to. The third human born. A slight smile appeared on your lips. Your son resembled his father, and you found that particularly funny. You couldn't help but think that Adam's genes were particularly strong. But the way your son stood proudly at the head of your army...he took that from you. Even if you were to perish in this fight, you know that your army and your son will come through.

Your right hand will be around the shaft of your spear. You hear the mocking laughter of the gods, announcing your crushing defeat. You hear the hesitant whispers of humans about your place among the fighters of humanity. You are known in human legends to be a danger to pregnant women and newborns. To be honest with yourself, you hate this legends. You are a mother, how can humans think that you would harm a woman and her child? Your eyes drop slightly to the floor and your lips pucker into an unpleasant pout. After a few seconds, your face frees itself of all displays of emotion and your hand rises to challenge Heimdall.

"Yes, Lilith?" asks the god who has the role of announcer.

"I will not fight under that name," you announce.

"Huh?" he blurts out in surprise.

"I will not fight under the name of the monster the humans wanted to make me," you reply immediately.

"So...what do you want to be called?"

Lying in a meadow, you enjoy the sun and the soft breeze on your bare skin. Rabbits and foxes quickly surround you to enjoy the comfort with you. Everything is perfect in the Garden of Eden. A shadow covers your face, forcing you to open your eyes to discover the obstacle between you and the sun. It is a pleasant surprise when you discover your husband's welcoming smile, his blonde locks framing his face. Adam sits down beside you, placing his fruit basket between his legs. He pulls out a bunch of grapes and takes one between his long fingers. He then brings the fruit to your lips to let you savour the sweet, pleasant taste of the fruit. A sigh of contentment crosses your lips. Your husband's smile widens as he notices your relaxed state.

"You have grape juice running down your chin, Lilith," Adam informs you.

Your eyelids droop slightly as your eyes express your displeasure. Adam only lets a laugh emit from his throat as he leans forward to lick the grape juice off. Your hand gently but firmly pushes him away. You want him to understand that his gestures of affection will not be tolerated again until he realises his mistake. And you know perfectly well that he has understood what he has done.

"Stop teasing me," you say, a frown appearing on your face.

"I like to see your eyebrows furrow. You look like that kitten that was trying to scare us." replies Adam, running his hand over your hip stroking it in lazy circles, as if to soothe you.

"But unlike that kitten, I can bite," you reply sharply.

"I know you can..." he hums in the hollow of your ear. "Y/N."

This memory was a moment of pure happiness that you experienced in the Garden of Eden before you were forced into exile. This name you chose with Adam was the beginning of your independence from the gods. You had never accepted the principle of being subject to a man and Adam always supported you in this choice. But the gods did not like this and in response you abandoned the name they gave you at your creation. Perhaps this is why Eve was created from Adam's rib? To prevent her from becoming like you.

"Y/N. Call me that," you proudly announce.

The gods of your creation frown but do not protest. They hope that you will perish against one of their own and that your soul will disintegrate in space and time.

Adam had slipped out of the room where he was locked up. When he learned of your presence here, he did not expect you to fight for the humans. The children he had with another woman. He snuck into the bleachers to get a better look at your figure. A sense of nostalgia stirs in his heart as he sees that you haven't changed in all this time. You stand with dignity, your weapon in hand. You are strong and independent, you have become the woman you always dreamed of. A woman you could not have become if you were in his company because...everyone wants his wife to be submissive to him.

Adam does not regret his married life with Eve, he enjoys it too. But he has enjoyed the life he has lived with you. He believes in your victory. He wants you to win. He does not want to witness your complete disappearance from the universe without any chance of reincarnation. Your first separation has already split his heart in two, Adam does not want to experience this intense pain a second time.

You swing your divine spear with one hand, deflecting your opponent's first blow. The strength in this attack was not worthy of a god, was he testing your abilities? Your eyes meet. The victorious and arrogant smile on the god's face already irritates you. He underestimated you because you are a human AND a woman. His leg comes to sweep over yours but you manage to dodge by gaining height. You position your spear, blade towards the ground to pierce his skull. The god quickly dodges in a backward leap, leaving you to land on the ground, puncturing the concrete floor which cracks under the impact.

Your exchange of blows lasts for a while. Or should we say: the god throws blows at you that you deflect with your spear. But suddenly, his paterne changes. The force that the god uses becomes more powerful. His leg comes to meet your stomach. You prevent the blow from reaching your skin by placing your spear between your stomach and his leg. Unfortunately, the attack sends you flying a few metres away. You manage to land with difficulty and before you can regain a stable footing, the god launches himself at you. You are forced to fall to the side in a roll to narrowly dodge the punch. Your cheek begins to bleed.

"Mother!" your distraught son shouts.

"Commander! Get up!" your soldiers shout to encourage you.

You let out a breath, your muscles relax, making your movements more fluid and lively. Your eyes fall on the figure of your opponent. The aura around you changes completely, causing the small smile on the god's face to disappear. Your hands grip the spear and your feet anchor themselves to the ground to give you a good foothold.

"Answer my question before we resume this fight. Why are you fighting for the humans?" the god asks.

"Do I need a reason to fight? The gods have forced me to be submissive and men have clothed me in a veil of monstrous lies. It's like choosing between the plague and cholera," you explain. "But I had to choose and I chose my ex-husband's children.

The humans observing the exchange begin to stir, either out of guilt or because they were moved by your story. Humans get teary-eyed easily, you think. But you can't help but find this side of them very touching. Perhaps it was a good thing that Eve was the Mother of humanity?

"Humans have the will to survive and a strength that allows them to constantly evolve. This is a strength that the gods can never possess," you say with contempt.

Your hatred for the gods is much stronger than your hatred for humans. On your words, the fight resumes. You manage to follow your opponent's movements. Like Adam, you were forged from clay in the image of the gods. You are Adam's equal, you have the same ability as him to copy the techniques you see. Your movements remind the gods of Athena. You had copied the movements of this goddess a long time ago.

Your body and that of your opponent are covered in blood. You are bleeding from the wounds inflicted on you, but you were able to avenge yourself by seriously injuring your opponent as well.

Adam clenches his lips into a thin line, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands but he still believes in your victory. You must win. You can't give him up a second time...you can't.

"They've created a second wife for you," you scream indignantly.

"You're the only one for me," Adam admits in an attempt to calm your nerves. He can't bear to see you cry.

"It's only a matter of time before the gods kick me out of the Garden of Eden! I don't understand their desire to have me submit to male authority! Do goddesses submit to male deities?" you growl in frustration. The anger was so strong that you can't hold back the tears.

"If they chase you away then I'll go with you," Adam announces, interlacing your fingers together.

A soft warmth spreads through your chest as a gasp of surprise passes through your lips. A slight blush marks your cheeks as you look away from your husband. You can't help but enjoy the tender feeling. Adam wraps his muscular arms around you in a soothing embrace. His scent calms your restless nerves.

"Spend the night with me tonight," you whisper.

"We always sleep together," he says, tilting his head to the side, not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Adam..." you gasp shyly. It almost sounded like a soft moan.

His blue eyes widen slightly as the implied request is processed by his brain. A teasing smile spreads across his face as he leans in to your blushing ear to whisper provocative words.

That was the last evening you spent in his company before the gods kidnapped you and threw you away from the Garden of Eden. You never tried to return to that place, you knew it wasn't possible. So you did your best to survive. You were able to thrive and enjoy your newfound independence.

That night Adam gave you a gift, your son: Eurynome. A child identical to his father, who grew up with you as his only role model. He has become an independent young man capable of leading an army. But he remains a child... a child afraid to be alone without the reassuring presence of his mother.

It is impossible to understand the pain of losing a parent when you have not experienced it. No one could understand a tenth of the pain of Eurynome's scream as the god's fist plunges into your chest.

Your eyes crinkle under the sudden fatigue your body feels. Your right hand struggles to hold the spear. The humans weep in despair as the gods celebrate the downfall of Lilith, the woman who did not obey divine orders.

Nausea takes hold of Adam's body. All that blood, your blood spilling on the floor. Will you die? Disappear forever...you don't even know that he witnessed your fight. You will never know that he missed you terribly. You will never know that he wanted to feel your warmth in his arms again and whisper those three words to you.

Your eyes linger on your son's tear-streaked face. A peaceful smile appears on your lips. A fire of determination shines in your eyes. Your hand tightens around the spear and you slice the god's jugular before collapsing to your knees. If you must die...then you will prevent the gods from achieving a victory as well.

Your eyes slowly close and your hearing becomes increasingly blurred. The voices are now just an indistinguishable din.

Adam could only watch as your body and the god's dematerialize into a smoke of green glitter. His legs move towards the battlefield as if trying to retrieve the flakes that represent your soul dissolving into space. But your son's crying snaps him out of his trance. His eyes fall on a miniature version of himself.

Cain and Abel have some characteristics of their father but Eurynome is a carbon copy of Adam and you would have to be blind not to notice. Adam walks over to your son and takes him in his arms, sharing his pain. Adam fully understands the tug of war that Eurynome feels.

That night Adam gave you a gift, your son. Today, this gift will show the world that you existed. That you are not like your legends.

You are an independent woman, a mother and Adam's wife.

"Adam," you call to your husband, who is perched on a tree branch.

"Yes?" he hums, keeping his eyes closed.

"Don't you think I'm strange?" you finally question him. "Do you think I owe you obedience too?

Silence passes between the two of you. A pain assails your heart at this lack of response and you instantly regret having asked him the question. The disappointment was much stronger than you had thought. You look up abruptly when you hear a thud only a few feet away. Adam had just jumped from his branch. His back was to you. He turns towards you, his face devoid of emotion. He encircles your cheeks with his warm palms. His piercing blue eyes almost seem to probe your soul and you struggle to hold his gaze. But your desire to know the answer prevents you from looking away.

"We are husband and wife, I accept you as you are. Don't change for the world, for anyone," Adam says with conviction.

"So...you love me like this?" you ask aloud, wanting to sound confident.

Adam looks at you slightly surprised at this sudden question. He hums softly before leaning in to kiss your forehead. The smile he flashes makes your heart race.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too..." you admit after a few moments.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || His Girlfriend Doesn’t Like You [Request]

A/N: For reference the girlfriends name will be Areum. Also I kept them as just friends because I didn’t know if you wanted fluffy best friends or fluffy relationships so I hope this is okay! If not let me know!

CHAN: 

It was no secret to you that Chan's girlfriend didn't like you but the two of you were best friends, had been since he moved to Korea when he was younger and nothing was going to stop that. No matter how hard she tried, or at least, you thought it would never happen. 

"What's wrong?" You laughed looking at Chan as he walked into the studio you and Jisung were sitting inside of, immediately the atmosphere in the room changed and it suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe as he stared you down. 

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that Areum just came to me with a red cheek," You frowned shaking your head, clearly not following along with what he was trying to say to you but then she walked into the room. A red mark across her right cheek as she let out the fakest tears you'd ever seen, whimpering and sniffling as she pulled at Chan's sleeve. 

"Just take me home, I don't want to be here anymore," She pleaded, looking over at you and for a second you could see her smirking as she realised she was playing Chan like a violin. 

"You slapped her across the face, because...Because-" He stopped as he looked back at Areum, 

"Because I told her I was falling in love with you," You blinked as you stared at them, even Jisung was starstruck by what was being said. You'd been sitting with him for the last two hours waiting for Chan to come for some lunch, he would have seen you if you randomly decided to slap his bitch of a girlfriend. 

"I didn't slap her, why would I?" You scoffed looking at her and then to him, hoping he would see straight through her but as usual, he had his blinders on, where only she was right and everyone else was wrong. 

"I've been here the entire time, I haven't even seen her until now," You got up from the sofa trying to defend yourself but Areum flinched as dramatically as she could before cowering behind Chan who was red in the face. 

"I want you to leave," He spoke bluntly as he waited for you to leave the room but you were still standing there, 

"Chan...We're best friends, surely you don't believe I would do something like this?" You searched his eyes for any sign that he believed you, even a little but it was as if you didn't even know who he was anymore. 

"Why would you even slap her?! You know I'm in love with her," You knew he was which was why you stayed away from her, you didn't want to get in the way of their happiness. Seeing your best friend happy made you happy as an end result, 

"I would never-"

"STOP LYING TO ME!" He yelled out as you backed up, your mouth fell open as you couldn't believe Chan would ever raise his voice at you, or anyone, like that. It wasn't in his nature to scream and yell.

"Leave." He muttered calmly this time, you scoffed at him, getting your bag and turning to leave when Jisung got up from the sofa.

"Hyung!" Jisung tried to say something but you held your hand up to stop him, staring directly at Chan as you spoke to Jisung, 

"Don't. If he wants to believe someone over his best friend, let him. But he can't come crying to me when it all blows up in smoke," You grumbled, slamming the door as you made your way out of it not wanting to be around them any longer than you had to be. 

(X) 

Later in the night, there was a knocking on your apartment door, you knew it was Chan since he had text you that he wanted to talk to you but you ignored him but he was starting to get louder and you didn't want your neighbours complaining. 

"Finally came to your senses?" You questioned as you opened the door to see him sitting on the floor, he stared up at you nodding weakly. 

"Jisung told me that you'd been with him all morning," You nodded, folding your arms over your chest. 

"And it took you all day to come and see me?" He shook his head, stumbling to get up from the floor before he came face to face with you. 

"It took me all day to get her stuff out of the dorms, anyone who doesn't like or can't respect my best friend shouldn't be with me," He smiled at you that big cheesy grin that he normally did whenever he wanted you to forgive him for something he'd done, 

"You've never yelled like that before," You whispered as you moved aside, letting him into the apartment as a sign of peace. 

"I'm sorry...I saw the mark, I heard the story and I just-"

"It's fine, she was your girlfriend, you should have-" You sighed not believing you were saying this, 

"You should have believed her since she was your girlfriend," He smiled wrapping his arms around your shoulder, 

"I bought food but it's cold, I'll order some more, we can watch a movie..." You nodded at his suggestion and pushed the door shut behind you both, heading into your living area space. 

MINHO:

The boys had been acting weird around you for days and it was starting to freak you out, normally when they were being weird it was because they were planning to prank you or something but this time it was different. They were going out of their way to avoid you, purposively changing plans so they wouldn't have to hang out with you, that was until tonight when you caught them going out after they told you they felt too sick to go anywhere. You'd brought them some soup to the dorms when you saw them heading out, deciding you wanted to talk to them you asked Minho to explain everything.

"You've been acting so weird lately, did I do something to piss you off?" You asked as you pulled Minho into his dorm room, you wanted answers and you wanted them now, 

"Why don't you ask your boyfriend?!" You stared at him awkwardly shaking your head as you tried to think of what he was talking about, he never seemed to get this angry in the past whenever you were in a relationship only this time there was no relationship. 

"I'm not-"

"Save it! I know you're dating Felix so why don't you both stop acting as though you're not," You were even more confused at the mention of Felix's name, the two of you had been close but never the dating kind of close. 

"We're not dating-"

"Save it! I don't want to hear it! If you want to go behind my back and fuck my best friends you go ahead and do it, but don't come crawling to me when you're done," He looked at you with a disgusted look on his face that sent a shiver down your spine, he'd never looked at you that way before and you didn't like it, 

"Why would I date Felix and not tell you?" You laughed thinking this was all some kind of joke but Minho wasn't laughing, he had a straight look on his face as he shook his head. 

"Areum caught you together in the studio, you can both stop lying about it to my face." There it was. The name, she had been the reason things between you and Minho had been rocky for months, she was constantly pushing you out of his life so she could spend more time with him but bringing the rest of the boys into it only made your blood boil.

"You can't seriously believe her over me and Lix?" You questioned as he walked away from you, waiting for you to leave the room first but you stayed where you were, wanting to talk this all out with him.

"She's the only one being honest around here,"

"Why do you even care if I was dating Felix?! I thought friends were supposed to be happy for one another, support each other. I have ever since you got with the wicked bitch of the west," You snapped as you finally lost it with him, he pulled the door open with such force that it hit the wall making you jump. 

"Get. Out." You shook your head, sitting down on his bed so you could talk everything out but he didn't move. 

"Get out of the dorms. Don't ever speak to me again," You stared at him as he walked out of the room leaving you alone with nothing but your thoughts. 

(X)

When Minho returned later that night he found you asleep on the sofa in one of his hoodies with the TV running, he turned it off before pulling a blanket over your body. 

"You're home," You whined, sitting up ready to talk to him about it calmly this time.

"I know you told me to get out but I didn't want to end our friendship on bad terms and I didn't want you and Felix to fight...There is nothing between me and Lix. Never has been, never will be-" You stopped talking when Minho wrapped his arm around your waist and laid down behind you on the sofa. 

"Shut up and go to sleep, Areum dropped herself into it," He mumbled as he pulled you closer to him, it was his way of admitting he was wrong without saying it aloud so you took it. Snuggling into your best friends arms and going to sleep for the night.

CHANGBIN:

"I bought snacks and dinner! Move over because the party is here!" You yelled out as you walked into the dorms to greet your best friend who was normally excited to see you but right now he looked beyond pissed off at something, 

"What happened? Jisung and Chan been bullying you all day?" You teased as you sat down beside him on the sofa, hand-feeding him a chip from the bag of fast food you had bought back with you but he ignored you.

"Binnie?" You frowned, waving a chip in front of his mouth but he continued to ignore you staring down in front of him as he was in deep concentration mode. 

"What's up with you?" You frowned, dropping the chip back into the bag and sitting back against the sofa, there was clearly something bothering him and you wanted to know what it was.

"Why have you been spreading rumours about Areum?" You frowned, Areum had been his girlfriend for the last six months but you'd never said anything bad about her or even to her, mostly because she hated you for being so close with Changbin. 

"Binnie, I don't even speak to her, I don't know anything about her to spread rumours about," You tried to defend yourself but he shook his head not wanting to hear your excuses about it as he got up from the sofa, 

"You've always had a problem with her, ever since we started dating! You've been so weird with her when she's been nothing but nice to you," You scoffed at the idea of her even acting remotely nice to you, if constantly throwing digs your way about the way you dressed and acted was nice you didn't want to know her. 

"Please, she's the one that's been nothing but mean since the day I met her, accusing me of being in love with you, calling me names whenever she gets the chance," You rolled your eyes as you got up from the sofa, standing face to face with your best friend. 

"She's been mean to you? I think you'll find it was the other way around, you're always trying to start fights with her, telling everyone that she's this petty girl that always yells at you when in reality it's the other way around." You couldn't stand to him anymore, hearing him take her side over yours after ten years of friendship, 

"I thought you believed me through everything, we're best friends."

"Not anymore, if you can't respect Areum then we're over, I want nothing more to do with you," It hurt more than you were expecting it to, like a stab in the chest as he stared at you blankly, looking into his eyes it felt cold and unwanted so you left the dorms, ignoring Jeongin he called your name out after passing him in the hallway. 

(X)

The more time passed with Areum the more Changbin began to notice her lies, they were painfully obvious and she kept forgetting her stories most of the time until he couldn't deal with it anymore and broke things off. 

"You know you have to forgive me sooner or later," He said as he slid you your favourite hot drink, he'd invited you out to one of your favourite coffee places as a way to say sorry for what he'd done to you. 

"I know, but until then I'm going to take all the free drinks I can," You mumbled, sipping on the drink before looking around the cafe, you hadn't been there since your fight, too scared you would accidentally walk into him and the dragon, 

"Does that mean you forgive me? If you say yes I will buy you food and drinks every day in this cafe for a month," 

"Bribery will get you everywhere," You smirked as took another drink from your cup.

HYUNJIN:

Waking up you rolled over to see Jeongin was passed out beside you, drool running down his cheek so you pushed him away and walked out into the dorms main seating area, Chan was awake on his laptop as usual and Felix was beside him playing some video game on the switch. 

"You stayed over?" Felix questioned looking up at you with a confused look on his face, you walked over to the fridge and took a drink from a carton of juice before going to sit next to him, tiredly laying your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, why? I always stay over on Friday nights. It's my hiking day with Hyunjin," You reminded him but Felix didn't look convinced as to why you were there, 

"I just meant...Well- Areum said he wasn't allowed to be around you anymore, so I figured you wouldn't-"

"She said what?" The door to Hyunjin's room opened and he came out into the living room tiredly, not noticing that you were sitting there until he sat down.

"You're not allowed to be around me?" You asked with a small laugh to your voice, the thought of not being allowed near your own best friend waking you up as you stared at him. 

"What? Y/n! I told you I was busy this weekend," He grumbled as he looked at his phone with a panicked look on his face, 

"You need to leave, now."

"Why? Is Areum coming over? What's her problem? I'm your best friend," You wanted him to see why you were upset about this, he was constantly ignoring you or putting off plans to be with her which you didn't mind since they were new to their relationship but stopping him from seeing you, was too far. 

"You used to be my best friend, look I can't get into this but you need to leave," You frowned wondering where this was all coming from where there was a knock at the door, 

"Hideout in Jeongin's room until we leave,"

"Why can't we be friends anymore, does she hate me that much?" You questioned but he ignored you, pulling you up and pushing you into the bedroom with Jeongin once again,

"Because she thinks I'm in love with you! I don't want her to think that, so we can't be friends." He was being an idiot, just because a guy and a girl were friends it didn't mean they were in love with each other, 

"Just explain to her-"

"No! Get a grip, we don't need to be friends anymore," He slammed the door leaving you with a scared looking Jeongin,

"Move over." You mumbled as you climbed back into the bed with him, you were close with all of the boys so this was nothing new, last night you'd slept beside Jeongin cause he was the only one home when you arrived. 

(X)

Yelling happened instantly since Areum could tell you'd been in the house, your shoes were all over the floor, your clothes were hanging on the coat peg so she knew you were there. 

"You can come out now," Hyunjin mumbled as he opened the door to Jeongin's room, the two of you had been hiding out in there ever since the shouting began, you didn't want to be the reason they fought but it was over you anyway. 

"She's gone?" Hyunjin nodded and you sighed going over to hug him softly, she'd been accusing him of cheating and lying to her throughout the relationship until it bubbled out that she was the one cheating on him instead, she thought he would do the same thing with you if he ever found out and she wanted you out. 

"She's an idiot if she doesn't realise how amazing you are," You whispered to him, trying to comfort him but he broke down into tears as he hugged you back it was going to be a weekend of making him feel better.

JISUNG:

Jisung had been acting insane for days and it was starting to get to you, he'd been ignoring you and if he wasn't ignoring you he was getting angry over nothing, snapping at you for stupid things that had nothing to do with him. 

"Why are you even here?!" He yelled when he walked into the dorms to see you sitting with Felix and Jeongin,

"Waiting for my turn, we were taking it in turns," You mumbled as you tried to concentrate on watching Felix beating Jeongin in a game of smash bros, 

"You're always following me around and it's freaking me out, don't you have any of your own friends to be hanging out with?" He snapped angrily as he looked at you, you frowned wondering where this was coming from all of a sudden. The two of you had been best friends for years but ever since he'd gotten with Areum he'd changed into a different person, especially towards you. 

"We're friends? We hang out?" You were even more confused as he snapped at you for something you were used to, the two of you used to be inseparable what was his problem?

"Yeah, friends, but you won't more don't you?" He scoffed as he stared at you, you could have sworn you saw a look of disgust flash across his face as he mentioned your crush on him. It wasn't true, Jisung was always like a brother to you there was never another way you could see him.

"I don't have a crush on you, you're like my brother," You stumbled over your words trying not to laugh at the accusation thinking it might hurt his feelings,

"Save it, Areum told me all about your little plan to split us up and it won't work, I'm in love with her," Of course, she had something to do with all of this, she had something to do with everything. You knew he was in love with her but how could he be so blind to her to see what she was doing to your friendship,

"If you could stop stalking me, being around me, clinging to me that would be great." He mocked laughing as he thought it was funny but the rest of the boys were staring at him in horror at the way he spoke to you, laughing at you even though he was supposed to one of your best friends. 

"What? She needs to realise there's never going to be anything between us," The emphasis he put on the "never" in his sentence would have hurt if you did have a crush on him but there was nothing there. 

"He's right, why would he want his best friend who's been there for him for almost everything in his life when he can have a cheap no-good, money stealing hoe around him all of the time," You knew it was wrong to take swings at Areum but you'd finally lost it, you grabbed your bag and began to leave. 

"I'm throwing out the money stealing hoe and keeping my girlfriend," The door slammed before he could finish his sentence but you stormed off, never wanting to speak to him again.

(X) 

It had been months since the incident at the dorms and you hadn't spoken a word to Jisung since you would go out of your way to avoid him and you wouldn't hang out with the guys if they were going to be with him. 

"You have to speak at some point," Minho said cockily as he watched you from the dorms kitchen, it was the winter break so most of the boys had gone home for the holidays except Minho, Felix and Chan so you decided to keep them company. 

"No, I don't. I am perfectly fine in my world without him, I don't know why I ever had a crush on him, he's a no-good-" You stopped speaking when the door to the dorms opened followed by the sound of Jisung's voice filling the air, 

"She's not at her apartment, her boss said she told her not to tell me where she is and now I'm-" Jisung stopped as he locked eyes with you for the first time in months, you gave him a small wave not knowing what else he wanted you to do in this situation but in the end, he sprinted over to you and pulled you into a tight embrace. 

"I missed you, I never should have listened to what Areum was saying, I should have just gone to you and asked you...I didn't need to be so rude about you having a crush on me," You began gasping for air as he tightened his grip before letting go of you, 

"I don't have a crush on you, it was a stupid thing she said to stop us hanging out so much." You said as you stepped away from him, he nodded his head, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I know, I spoke it out with the boys and tried to tell you but you ignored me for months,"

"Do you blame me?" You questioned as he shook his head, promising you that he would do anything to get your friendship back to the level it was at before Areum ruined it all.

FELIX: 

You had no idea what you had done wrong to Felix but clearly, it had to have been something bad for him and the rest of the boys to ignore you for months, you'd tried calling and texting but they never answered you, phones going straight to voicemail. In the end, you gave up trying to call him, if he really wanted your friendship to last he would make an effort, you moved on from things and tried to just do things on your own. 

"Y/n?" You glanced up from reading the bag of flour you had picked up to see Seungmin standing there with a giant smile on his face he suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly. 

"Hey Seungmin," Your voice came out strained, confused as to why he'd ignored you and was now hugging you as he greeted you after so long, 

"We've missed you, where have you been? Felix has been going out of his mind, he said whenever he went to your apartment you were out?" You frowned, no one had been to your apartment, come to think of it Felix didn't even know your new address, you moved shortly before not being able to get hold of him and the boys.

"I tried to call you guys but you never answered, never replied to me texts," You explained to a very confused looking Seungmin who dug out his phone to show you that he hadn't gotten anything from you in months. 

"Just last week I text to tell you Happy Birthday..." You mumbled, taking out your phone to prove to him that you weren't going crazy and so he went through the contact, 

"You have me blocked, that's why...You couldn't call me." You frowned as Seungmin began mumbling about how he would never block you and then it hit you. The only other person with access to all their phones was Areum, Felix's girlfriend who had a disliking for you. Since she started dating Felix she made no attempt to hide the fact that she hated you, going out of her way to make it obvious but this was just a step too far. 

"Is Lix at the dorms?" You questioned, wanting to go there right away so you could straighten everything out between you and someone who used to be your best friend.

(X) 

"Why would Areum do something like that? Just admit you did it! Now you're doubling down on lies because you can't take responsibility for your actions," Felix yelled at you as he stood in the hallway of the dorms speaking with you, you'd tried to talk to him calmly about it but he started yelling from the start of things. 

"Why would I do something so stupid?! I loved hanging out with you and the guys, god I've been worried sick about you, I even created a twitter just to try and keep up with what was going on!" You yelled out, Felix knew how much you hated that app but he shook his head, nothing was going to make him believe his own girlfriend would go to the lengths of blocking your number in everyone's phone just to stop him from seeing you.

"You've just never liked her and can't stand to see me happy," You rolled your eyes at him not wanting to have a fight about someone you didn't care about, 

"You think I care about her? Do what you want, as long as I never have to be around her but don't you dare! Don't you dare blame me for something like this, I'm not the petty one here," You snapped, hanging Seungmin his bag of items you'd carried home from the car for him. 

"You're going to just walk away?!" Felix called out, you turned to look at him shrugging your shoulders, 

"What does it matter? You don't believe me, so why should I stay somewhere I'm not wanted?" 

(X) 

"She admitted to everything," Felix panted as he fell onto your bedroom floor, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. 

"Lix. It's 4 am." You mumbled shutting the window he'd just climbed through, you were on the second floor so he used the balcony below to climb up since he knew you would never open the front door. 

"I knew you wouldn't answer the door,"

"How did you get my address?" You mumbled climbing onto the bed to sit down as he sat up, 

"Seungmin noted it down when you took your shopping home with him earlier," You glared at your phone reminding yourself to kill Seungmin the next time you saw him, 

"Areum admitted to blocking your number...Move over," He shivered, getting under your covers as if nothing had happened, no friendship break and he was just here for a sleepover. 

"You think I'll forgive you this easily, for yelling at me." He shook his head at you, 

"No, but I'll annoy you into it anyway, so just go to sleep." He laughed softly knowing that you could never stay mad at him.

SEUNGMIN:

Seungmin was the type of best friend that would come to you whenever he had a problem, he would come to you for anything that was bothering him which was why he came to you when he first heard about what was going on between Areum and you. The two of you never got along, since she began dating him she would do anything in her power to make sure Seungmin would never be around you without her and when she was with you she would belittle you in front of him without him noticing what she was doing.

"This is going too far, the two of you are supposed to be adults and here you are acting like a child Y/n," You stared at Seungmin dumbfounded as you wondered what he was talking about, it wasn't until he showed you a phone with fake text messages from you that something clicked, 

"That's not me, I-"

"It has your name on it, why are you sending threatening messages to Areum? She's been trying so hard and you do this?" You stared from the screen and up to Seungmin, you could see why he would believe the fake screenshots since they looked so real but it wasn't since you and Areum never exchanged numbers with one another. 

"Why would I ever threaten her? I've been trying to, it's not my fault you only see her as the good guy when she's nothing but a bitch to me," You grumbled without thinking about it first but it was too late, the words were out in the open now and he was staring at you, with an angry look on his face. You'd never seen him look this angry until now, 

"Did you just call my girlfriend a bitch?" You sighed not wanting to turn this into a huge fight but it was out now, 

"Yes! You know what, I did because she is! Do you know how often she belittles me? Makes me feel so small and stupid? All of the time." You told him but he walked away, he ignored you as you continued to list all of the things she'd said and done to you over the course of them dating but he didn't want to hear it so he wouldn't. 

"You only see the good in her but she's always hurting me, always making snide remarks about me," Somewhere inside he knew you were right but he didn't want to believe it, he only wanted to believe Areum because he was hopelessly in love with her. 

"You're making it up," He shook his head but this time you weren't going to let the subject be dropped, it needed to be spoken about so she couldn't get away with it anymore.

"Why would I make something like that up? I know you're in love with her and I know this hurts to hear but she's a bitch, she's always doing it and not just to me but to the boys," Felix was standing in the hallway when he heard what was happening, 

"It's true, she's always making snide remarks about my freckles or Jeongin acting like a baby," You nodded and looked to Seungmin who wasn't saying a word, he just stormed out of the dorms slamming the door behind him as he left. 

(X) 

Hours later Seungmin came back into the dorms with a sad expression on his face and after knowing him for almost nine years you knew what that face was. 

"You ended things?" You whispered, putting down the uno cards so Felix couldn't see what you had and he nodded, 

"I-I'm sorry I didn't see what she was doing to you all before...You're  my best friends, you don't deserve that." He sighed, sitting down beside you as he felt stupid for believing her over you, 

"Don't, you were in love, it's hard to see sometimes when you're in love," You nudged him softly so he knew all was forgiven and then you let him take over for you in the game of Uno.

JEONGIN:

"So you just decided you didn't want to come to my wedding?!" Jeongin boomed out as he walked into the cafe where you worked, luckily it was almost empty besides for the two elderly women in the corner who seemed startled at the sudden yelling, 

"Well, hello Jeongin. Would you like a drink?" You asked sarcastically as he stormed over to the counter and began questioning you on why you hadn't responded to his texts, calls and voicemails about getting married.

"Okay calm down, A) I haven't had a call from you in about a week and B) You're getting married?!" He scoffed at you, 

"As if you didn't know, you've been ignoring me because I decided I wanted to Marry Areum right? She said you'd always hated her and you would never be happy for us," You were still trying to come to terms with the fact that your best friend was getting married and hadn't told you, or at least claimed that he had told you. 

"Jeongin, I haven't had any calls or texts from you for a week, you went off the grid. I assumed you were busy with a comeback," It wasn't unheard of for him to go radio silent whenever there was a comeback coming up, you understood and gave him the space he needed but this was insane. 

"Well I've been calling and texting," He pulled out his phone as proof but you shook your head, 

"That's not my number, someones changed the last four numbers..." You knew who it was but there was no way that Jeongin was going to think it was Areum, in his eyes she could do nothing wrong but in your eyes, she was a witch with a capital B instead of a W through and through.

"Oh-oH I might have done it by accident, I'm sorry I yelled." You shook your head, 

"Are you that naive? Clearly, you didn't accidentally change my number, someone who has access to your phone must have done it," You were trying to hint at the fact that it was Areum but he played the dumb card, breezing over it as he told you the exciting news again but you weren't excited for him. The thought of him marrying Areum sent a chill down your spine, she wasn't nice to anyone except Jeongin, in fact, Felix hated her from the start but never said anything since he never thought the relationship would last.

"Please, you're just jealous that I'm getting married while you're still alone." You dropped the mug you were holding and hot coffee splashed up your legs but you couldn't feel it, you were too busy staring at someone who was supposed to be your best friend.

"What did you just say?" He repeated it again but you shook your head at him, 

"Get out. I hope you're happy in your little bubble Jeongin I really do," You began pushing him toward the exit as he continued to hurl insults about you being jealous of him. 

"Don't worry dear, men like that always come to their senses in the end," The elderly lady commented as you began cleaning up. 

(X) 

Only he hadn't come to his senses, it had been nine months since the last time you spoke to him and through Felix, you learnt the relationship was strong and that they were going through with the wedding.

"Y/n?" You turned around in the cafe to see Jeongin standing there in his suit panting and sweating heavily, 

"Aren't you supposed to be getting married?" He walked up to you and shook his head, 

"I should have listened, I was...I was going to talk to her before we got-" He began breathing heavily so you took him over to a table and gave him some water, 

"She was telling her bridesmaids about how she'd gotten rid of you and how she was going to do the same with anyone who got too close...I should have listened to you," You knew right now was a bad time to tell him you told him so, so you kept your mouth shut. 

"I ran away from the wedding, told her I couldn't do it and ended things." You bit down on our lip feeling bad for him as he sipped on his water, 

"A relationship isn't worth it if I don't get to have my best friend at my side...So...Do I? Still have you by my side?" You smiled softly before nodding, 

"Always. I have some of your clothes at my place, use your key to get in." You said as you softly patted his back and got up to finish your shift. 

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs​

[thefirstknife]

Some of the more interesting bits of today's reset and dialogues. I loved this from Mara. She acknowledges her participation in steering Uldren towards his downfall AND she realises that she will have to do better with him in the future. This is from the ending dialogue when you finish the exotic quest for the Ager's Scepter.

I want to mention something from the start of the week because I've seen people get angry (but when do they not when it comes to Mara?)

Long post under read more:

It's about the discussion she and Ikora have at the terminal. Hot take, but both Mara and Ikora are right and wrong in the argument. Transcript:

Mara: "How long have your Hidden been privy to Uldren's resurrection?" Ikora: "Long enough to watch over him in your absence." Mara: "And you didn't direct him home. Why?" Ikora: "There was a concern he'd pick up some old habits." Mara: "You know the Garden made him sick. Riven twisted his mind. Eris would have seen it. She is not so easily deceived by skin-deep tricks." Ikora: "It's true I made mistakes, out of an idea of justice... out of grief. Are you leveling this same scrutiny toward Petra? Wasn't she supposed to be watching his grave?" Mara: "Petra has paid her dues. The Vanguard murdered him and has yet to pay theirs." Ikora: "We both lost family. I am sorry for my part in yours, but... Crow has been treated --" Mara: "My brother is dead. He was exhumed; his body twisted into a caricature. You had your vengeance." Ikora: "Is that what you're after? Cayde... I still feel that grief like a stone caught in my chest. Some days, it's more pronounced than others. Vengeance didn't erode that grief." Mara: "Then tell me. Who am I to blame? Who sent him to Savathun's clutches? Who bludgeoned Uldren into a scared animal and drove him from his home?" Ikora: "You did, Mara. And those Guardians that hurt him, did so out of misguided anger. Don't make the same mistake. Don't make my mistake."

This is some heavy stuff and there's a lot going on. First, I like that Mara doesn't respond at the end. It's uncharacteristic for her. It shows that Ikora's words did something to her. This is evident in the exotic quest later which I've already put at the beginning of the post. She's had time to think and she's admitting the part she played.

I dislike some of Ikora's arguments a lot. First, "concern that he'd pick up some old habits" goes entirely against the Vanguard policy and belief that Guardians are new people. They were only concerned because of bias towards Uldren due to what he's done. And Crow knows this! He said so last week when he wondered why is he the only Guardian judged by his past life. No one else is subjected to the same way of thinking. This is the reason why Guardians aren't supposed to dig around their past lives. Obviously with Crow, there's no way for him to avoid it, but the argument that, if he knew, he'd just magically become Uldren (and not just base!Uldren, but murderer!Uldren who will... I don't know, go after Ikora and Zavala or the innocent people in the City?) really shows how much the Vanguard mistreated Crow.

I also dislike the move to Petra. As Mara says, Petra has paid her dues. She really has. Let's not forget that Uldren was not just some guy to her or just her Prince; he was her friend. She had to watch him spiral out of control due to things she couldn't help him with, she had to make the choice to put him away until Mara comes back and at the end she had to make the choice to kill him. This trauma has shaped her.

The Vanguard hasn't paid any dues. That's kinda the whole point of Mara's questioning. Ikora tries to explain that this was due to grief and losing family, but pray tell Ikora, has Mara not lost family too? Mara mentions this immediately as expected.

Ikora is however right to say that it was ultimately Mara's actions that led to the situation we're currently in. The Vanguard had no say in Awoken royal family affairs. Mara knows this, she said as much in the past few weeks and other lore in general: she spoke at length about the distance she pushed between them out of perceived necessity, the need to shape Uldren in a way to make him less like himself (since she disliked his recklessness and dangerous behaviours), but ultimately that only made things worse. She's aware that his venture into the Black Garden was fuelled by Uldren's need to prove himself. Ironically, in an effort to make him loyal and devoted, Mara pushed him into more recklessness instead of stopping it. She's aware of this. Asking Ikora "who am I to blame" was just waiting to be roasted.

But Mara is also right to ask about how the Vanguard treated both Uldren and Crow. How they washed their hands from killing him "officially" by hiding behind the Guardian, how nobody in the Tower answered for this. Their treatment of Crow as well: forcing him into hiding, isolating him. Excusing all the suffering he felt at the hands of the Guardians as "misguided anger." The torture he endured from Guardians just for showing his face was so much more than just "misguided anger" and Mara is right to feel heated and enraged when she talks about this and when she asks her questions. She expressed similar distaste and anger in a voice line with Glint in regards to how the Spider treated Crow.

I got an interesting dialogue at the end of my Shattered Realm run which also made me really irritated on behalf of both Crow and Mara when it comes to the Vanguard. Ikora asks Crow why didn't he send his latest report and Crow replies that he's had a lot going on and a lot to deal with. Which is true! He's not the Drifter who doesn't send reports out of spite; Crow genuinely wants to help but he's struggling with a lot of things that we can't even begin to unravel. He deserves patience and understanding. However, the following then ensues.

Ikora:

Crow:

Ikora:

This last part is a nice sentiment. But excuse me. Crow has literally been resurrected, isolated, tortured, enslaved and then "rescued" only to be thrust into a cage in the Tower and given "responsibilities." He is not obliged to be the Vanguard's errand boy. It's honestly quite rude from Ikora to tell him that he has to take his responsibilities seriously. The man hasn't lived a single day in his life without anxiety over whether he'll be tortured to death in the street if he shows his face.

I know the Vanguard gave him protection from the Spider and stuff to do (which he enjoys) and accepted him into their ranks. That's all good. But there's very little empathy here that acknowledges the life he's lived. Crow deserves to experience things that aren't isolation, imprisonment and following orders.

And most of all, he deserves to know the truth. Something the Vanguard has denied him for almost a year now. I know Savathun's schemes were involved and specifically, they were involved through impersonating Osiris which made a lot of people turn a blind eye. But now that this is known?

Crow can't share his burdens without knowing the truth. That's the whole problem. Everybody, except him, knows who he was. Everyone looks at him and treats him through that lens. He can't unburden himself without being told half-truths and being denied information. His burdens exist precisely because he doesn't know while everyone else does. So while the sentiment is nice, it reads more like a "that sucks buddy" than a genuine offer to help him with what is really bothering him.

On the other hand, obviously sharing the truth is difficult. His past life is more complicated than for most other Guardians. He's been through things that other Guardians haven't. The situation is complex on every single level and every character has a reason for the choices they've made.

Sometimes those choices are wrong and they are mistakes. And Mara isn't the only one who made the wrong choices and mistakes, consciously and unconsciously. It's a disservice to the complexity of the situation, Ikora, the Vanguard and Uldren to boil everything down to "Mara bad." Doesn't make for a compelling story.

That's what I wanted to address in detail because on the surface, it's easy to just dismiss either of the character you dislike more. And that's just reducing the story to a spectrum of black and white that Destiny really, ironically, isn't about.

[agustdakasuga]

Between The Bloodshed | Epilogue

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

At this point, what can be considered normal? 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

It was a nice late morning. The sun was shining but thankfully, it was blocked out by the dark curtains. It was nice and quiet, only the sounds of your breathing as you slept peacefully. There were no alarm clocks or phone calls-

*BANG BANG BANG*

“Yoongi hyung! You’ve been holding onto her for hours! She needs to come out!” Taehyung was banging on the door. You could hear Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok and Jin there too. 

“Yeah! She needs to work!” 

That was a lie. After coming back from performing Geumjae’s surgery yesterday, the boys had insisted you take a break since it was a long, gruelling surgery. But then again, the others would do anything to get the pale man to open the door for them. 

“Just keep quiet and they’ll go away soon.” Yoongi grumbled, holding you tighter, totally unaffected by the screams. 

“No, we won’t!” Seems that they heard him. 

“Come on, I have to get up.” You patted his back. He tucked you into the crook on his neck like a mother holding her child. His cheek pressed against the top of your head as he huffed. 

“You don’t have to get up. It’s your day off.” He murmured. You giggled, arm slinging around him in defeat. 

“That’s my girl.” He kissed your head. 

“That’s it! I don’t hear movement! Either get the keys or Jungkook, kick the door down.” You heard more commotion outside. Everyday was a chaotic day in the Bangtan household. 

“Ugh, hang on a sec.” Yoongi got out of bed, ready to give them an earful. But the moment he opened the door, he was mowed down by everyone else as they approached you, who was on the bed. You welcomed them with open arms and they piled on, engulfing you in big hugs and smiles. Yoongi stood there, glaring at you.

“Yah! Get off!” Yoongi shouted. 

“Okay.” They willingly slipped off the bed, which was surprising. Until Jungkook scooped you up into his arms, running out of the room. He cackled evilly while you yelped, arms tightened around his neck in fear. 

“I’m hom- What...” Namjoon stopped in the doorway when he saw what was going on. You have him a pleading look.

“Kook, let her down now.” Namjoon frowned. As much as you liked to play around and have fun with the boys, sometimes, all you would like is a peaceful morning. 

“With all due respect, hyung. If you try to take my baby away from me, I will actually fight you.” Jungkook said. 

“Rich coming from the guy who took her from me. Fight him, Joon.” Yoongi snorted from the top of the stairs. Knowing that the boys will actually fight each other (which you do tell them is dumb), you pinched Jungkook’s pressure point, temporarily immobilising him. 

“Ah!” He yelped as he let go of you. You fell onto the couch, standing up and straightening Yoongi’s your hoodie. With a sigh, you headed over to Namjoon to properly greet him after his early morning meeting. 

“Welcome home.” You grinned. 

“Thank you, my love.” He wrapped an arm around you, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. 

“You’re bleeding!” Your eyes widened when you saw his knuckles. It looked exactly like Jungkook’s knuckles. Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. Grabbing his wrist, you brought him to the office. 

“Love, I can patch it up. They’re small wounds. You’re supposed to be resting.” Namjoon told you. You shook your head while washing your hands. 

“Small wounds that can get infected, Joon. And I don’t need to rest much more, I knocked out like a light with Yoongi last night.” You chuckled, grabbing your first aid kit. You pulled your stool to sit in front of him and began to clean his wounds. The first thing you did was remove some of the dried blood that crusted on the side. 

“It’s gonna sting.” You said before putting the antiseptic. He winced slightly, his nose scrunching up. 

“You guys never get used to it.” You laughed. Once the wounds were cleaned, you bandaged his knuckles. You placed his hand in yours, inspecting his hand for more injuries. 

“You’re lucky you didn’t break anything again.” You lectured. 

“Because I have a doctor that takes good care of me.” Namjoon grinned. You shook your head, kissing his cheek. 

“Please, I already told you not to overwork them considering they just got better after you broke them. And you always scold the younger ones for not listening to me when you’re no better.” You teased. Namjoon laughed. 

“If I have you to take care of me, I will get injured more.” Namjoon hugged your waist. You flicked his forehead. 

“I dare you, Kim Namjoon.” You frowned. 

“Alright, alright. Namjoon looks good and patched up! Now it’s my turn, I want my morning kiss. Come here.” Jin yanked you away by your waist, dipping you down and showering you in kisses. You burst out laughing, grabbing onto his shirt so you won’t fall back.

“I’m going to get a coffee.” You shuffled away to the kitchen. The maids prepared your usual iced coffee. 

“Thank you.” You yawned and sipped before going back out. You sat on the couch and Jimin sat down, bringing your legs up to drape over his lap. When your phone buzzed, you took it out of your pocket to check. 

“Ah, I have to go check on Geumjae. He just woke up.” You announced. 

“But it’s your day off.” Hoseok said. 

“I know. But it’s the day after his surgery so I have to make sure he’s feeling alright and not having any complications, considering it was a major surgery.” You grunted as you stood up. You quickly finished your drink and went to change. Yoongi would be accompanying you, of course, to visit his brother. The other boys decided to tag along... just to not be left out. 

“You guys go grab a bite. I shouldn’t be too long.” You sent them a kiss as they dropped you off at the staff entrance. 

“We love you.” They said. 

“I love you all too.” You smiled and waved as they drove to the public parking. Slipping on your coat, you went to Geumjae’s private ward. He was awake, sitting up slightly and watching the television that was provided.

“Hey, got here as soon as I heard you were awake. Yoongi should be coming up soon, he’s parking the car.” You greeted. 

“Hey... Thanks again... for everything. Not just the surgery... but for making me realise my mistake. I’m so glad Yoongi and I are close again. It’s really all thanks to you.” He smiled weakly.

“Don’t mention it. How are you feeling?” 

“A little light headed. And sore.” His hand lightly touched his clothed chest where the surgery sutures were underneath. 

“That’s normal, considering the effects of the anaesthesia is wearing off. I’ll still put you on IV painkillers for the next day or two, until the wound starts to heal more and cause less pain. Can I check your wound?” You asked. He nodded and you unbuttoned his shirt to check the sutures. 

“Looks good. I’ll replace the gauze.” You removed the protecting gauze above the sutures and replaced it with a clean one. 

“Good news is we managed to remove the affected tissue. You still have to be on your medications for the next week? We will do a follow up biopsy after just to make sure we have completely eradicated the cancer.” You instructed. 

“Okay. Thank you.” He nodded as you buttoned his shirt up. 

“Hyung.” Yoongi came in. 

“Yoongi.” His brother greeted as you straightened up. You let Yoongi get closer to his brother as you removed your gloves and washed your hands. As they chatted, you checked his charts. 

“Take your time, Yoongs. I’ll go find the others.” You smiled. Yoongi nodded, reaching to peck your temple before sitting down to speak with Geumjae. You gave them privacy, exiting the room. You went to the nurse’s station to update Geumjae’s file. Although the surgery was tiring, you learnt a lot and was glad for the experience. 

“Mr Min in Room 32 should be in IV fluids until he’s no longer nauseated by the anaesthesia. Then move him to soft foods.” You told the nurse, who nodded her head and keyed in the instructions to the patient’s system profile. 

“Thank you!” You smiled and handed the file to her. You went to the vending machine to get a can coffee. 

“Hi, are you a doctor here?” Someone appeared. 

“Kinda?” You chuckled, pressing the button for your cold coffee. You weren’t gonna tell some stranger the long story about you being a private doctor to singular patient here. 

“I’m a new resident. Nice to meet you.” He held his hand out. You gave a small smile, shaking his outstretched hand. 

“You’re Dr (y/l/n)’s daughter right?” He asked and you nodded your head. 

“I look forward to working with you, sunbae. I know you did the recent lung cancer tissue extraction surgery, it was very knowledgeable and I learnt a lot.” He bowed. 

“Thanks... But I don’t actually work here as a mentor so you won’t see me around anymore. The other doctors are just as good, I’m sure of it. Everyone is trained and of professional calibre, you will learn a lot from them as well.” You were starting to get a little awkward by his overly enthusiastic disposition. 

“Baby, there you are.” A voice appeared and you saw your 6 other boyfriends there. They did not look pleased. 

“You took so long so we came to find you. We had to stop Kook from ordering everything on the cafeteria menu.” Jimin laughed. You shook your head at the maknae, who pouted. 

“I’m still a growing boy.” He argued. He wasn’t, actually. 

“Who’s this?” Jin raised an eyebrow. 

“Uh... He’s a new hoobae that works here.” You explained, realising that you hadn’t even learnt about this resident’s name. But it didn’t matter, you probably weren’t going to see him after this anyway. 

“Come, jagi. We should go.” Taehyung grasped your hand, glaring at the now scared boy. You shook your head, knowing exactly what they were doing. Even before you got together, the boys always said you were their partner just to keep other girls away. Vice versa, they branded themselves as your boyfriends to scare other guys away. 

“I-I have to go. Bye.” He bowed and scurried off. 

“You guys are horrible, you know that?” You folded your arms with a shake of your head. Hoseok grinned, leaning to peck your cheek. You reached over to straighten his blazer. 

“Oh, you’re still here.” Yoongi blinked, seeing the group of you there. You nodded your head. 

“Are you hungry? We bought you guys sandwiches.” Namjoon lifted the bags up. Instead of sitting there to eat, you ate in the van as Hoseok drove. 

“Here.” You gave some to Jungkook. 

“But you hardly ate any of it yourself.” He told you. You just shrugged, not really having the appetite to eat anything. Jungkook leaned forward to eat the last bit of the sandwich out of your hand. You would much rather have your coffee instead of the sandwich. 

“Shall we have barbecue tonight?” You asked the boys. 

“It’s been a while.” They nodded their heads. Hoseok detoured and went to the big supermarket. You split into 3 teams, Jin and Yoongi buying the meat, Hoseok and Namjoon drinks and you with the maknaes for everything else. 

“Buy a lot of meat, hyung!” Jungkook shouted to Jin as he placed his hands on your shoulders to push you to the other aisle. 

“Hyung wanted coarse salt for his shrimp. This or this?” Jimin held up both the boxes. You looked at both of them before pointing to one. He happily placed it into the cart. 

“Shall I make japchae?” You asked them. 

“Yes!” Taehyung cheered. You sent a message to Yoongi to pick up some beef for japchae from the counter for you. After that, you picked up some vegetables that would go into japchae. Jimin trailed after you obediently while Taehyung and Jungkook disappeared. Jungkook had reappeared with loads of bags of snacks in his arms. 

“Koo! That’s too much.” You chuckled at your now almost full cart, half filled with bags of chips. 

“But we need more snacks for our movie nights! And besides, Jin hyung and Taehyung hyung keep eating my snacks. This is so they won’t take mine.” Jungkook pouted. 

“Banana milk!” He quickly got distracted by the dairy section and ran off. 

“You know, I can see why people don’t believe our line of jobs sometimes and how Jungkook is supposedly our best fighter.” Jimin scoffed. 

“Well, take his banana milk and you’ll truly see how well he can fight.” You giggled as you placed some carrots and bell peppers into the cart. Taehyung came with 3 different ssamjang containers. 

“Tae, why are you getting so much? We won’t be able to finish them all in one night.” Jimin scolded.  

“But these are brands I haven’t tried before! So I wanna see which is the best. Then I’ll know to buy it next time!” Taehyung argued with his best friend. You shook your head and continued, Taehyung loved ssamjang. There’s no arguing in that. Jungkook came back with banana milk and cheese. 

“You want cheese rice?” You asked. 

“How did you know?!” 

“Koo, even if I’ve only been your girlfriend for a short while, I have lived with you longer. You practically breathe cheese rice.” You scoffed, offended. Jungkook bunny grinned, wrapping his arms around you. 

“Of course, you know me well.” He peppered kissed all over your cheek. When you were done, you went to meet the others. 

“Boys, I may not be specialising in hepatology but that amount of alcohol is definitely not good for you.” You raised an eyebrow at the amount of alcohol that was stacked in Namjoon and Hoseok’s cart. Totally not in a helping way, Taehyung even got a few bottles of his and Seokjin’s favourite plum wine to add in. You laughed. 

“We needed to stock the bar anyway. We promise not to drink so much.” Hoseok winked. 

“Yoongi hyung and Seokjin hyung are ready. They’ll meet us at the cashier.” Namjoon informed. You nodded your head and you all went to pay. 

“A big party?” He joked as he scanned. 

“You could say that.” You smiled, waiting to pay with the card that the boys had given you for ‘house’ items like their groceries and meals. But honestly, they just wanted an excuse to give you a card to spend on yourself. 

“You’re pretty.” He complimented. 

“Oh... Thanks.” You blushed. A sudden clear of the throat made you jump slightly. You turned to see Namjoon and Yoongi with stern looks on their faces. 

“Are you done yet, baby girl?” Yoongi emphasised on the pet name, which he never really uses at all. You blinked, still in slight shock. The cashier looked terrified suddenly, quickening his pace to finish scanning all your items. Namjoon wrapped an arm around your waist. 

“Love, later let the others load the van alright? Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.” Namjoon smiled sweetly at you. 

“O...kay?” 

“Uh, payment please?” He squeaked. Before you could hand the card over, Yoongi plucked it out of your hand and handed it for him to swipe. He gave it back with two hands and a deep bow. 

“Let’s go.” Yoongi held your hand and led you away. The boys loaded the car and you were ready to head home. Suddenly, their phones all rang at the same time. Namjoon took his phone out to check the notification. It was quiet for a while. 

“Everything okay?” You blinked. 

“Yeah... But looks like we’ll have to return to work for a while.” Namjoon sighed. You nodded your head. 

“We’ll drop you home. It’ll be safer.” Jin told you. Again, you nodded. You knew how these business meetings could go from bad to worse in only a couple of seconds. Hoseok pulled up to the house and you jumped out. 

“Stay safe, boys.” You told the 7. They sent you in with hugs and kisses, waiting for you to disappear into the house with the maids before Taehyung pulled the butler closer to whisper something into his ear. The butler nodded his head, bowing deeply. He closed the door for the van, standing on the porch until the van disappeared. 

“Agashi, I was told that there will be barbecue tonight? Shall I prepare the ingredients?” The butler smiled as the other staff brought the groceries in. 

“I wanna help cook! Let me change first.” You smiled and went upstairs to the room. You changed out of your hospital clothes and into more comfortable clothes, aka Jimin’s lounge pants and Hoseok’s hoodie. 

“Thanks for bringing this all in guys!” You said to them as you saw them clearing all the bags of shopping and keeping everything in its place. You really bought a lot. 

“What do you want to make?” The maid asked. 

“Taehyung likes marinated kimchi. And Jungkook was saying he wanted cheese rice to go with the meat. I also bought japchae ingredients.” You said. 

“Alright.” 

“You guys can take a break. Don’t worry, I would like to think I’m better in the kitchen than Namjoon is.” You joked and they all laughed, loving your attitude. The mansion’s staff loved working with you. 

“We’ll help where we can.” The cook took the ingredients out for you, laying them out neatly. You started with the marinated kimchi, which was frying kimchi with garlic, spam and minced meat. While the rest of the staff attended to the things in the mansion, the cook stayed by your side in case you needed help. 

“I think a bigger dice is okay.” He demonstrated. 

“You can put it here to cool. Then I’ll close the container later.” He gave you the plastic container. You scraped the contents from the pan to the container. 

“Are there some side dishes that go well with the barbecue? That the boys will like.” You asked him. He went to the fridge to look through what was inside to make side dishes. 

“We have a few hours so we can do some pickled radish, spicy cucumbers, the fried anchovies that master Seokjin likes?” He suggested. 

“Sounds exciting!” You clapped your hands. 

The next few hours were spent cooking and preparing various meals to go with the barbecue for the night. You learnt a lot from the cook and your energy was mostly fuelled with iced coffee (of course). You were just happy to prepare so much food for your boys now that you knew what their tastes were like. There was even time to make grapefruit syrup for Taehyung’s sodas. 

“I’ll help prep the shrimp too.” You rolled your sleeves up to prepare for Yoongi’s salt baked shrimp on the grill.

“Ah, agashi. Let me. Your hands may smell. After all, you’ve been cooking the whole day, why don’t you take a break? I insist.” The cook shook his head. 

“Oh, alright. I’m only giving in because I need to make Koo’s cheese rice later.” You giggled. The cook nodded and you grabbed a snack before leaving the kitchen. You helped the staff set up the barbecue outside. 

“Let me help.” You arranged the chairs. 

“It’s okay, agashi. Please rest.” The maids shook their heads. Going to retrieve Kookie, you sat under the gazebo with a book. 

“Kookie ah. Don’t do that.” You stroked his head as he began to nibble the corner of your book again. Looks like even without the boys here, you still wouldn’t be able to read in peace. 

“Where are they?” You checked your phone, there were no calls or messages from any of the boys. As the sun set, you were seated in your designated seat, which was in between Jungkook and Hoseok. You checked your phone to see the time, it was getting late. 

You perked up when you heard the door to the backyard open and footsteps. However, when you turned your head, the smile dropped from your face. 

~~

Ko-fi link

Series Masterlist

[If you are reading this, thank you for making it to the end. For now. I’ll see you in the sequel ‘Everything Between Us’]

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[seiyasabi]

Momma’s Boy

(This is a Yandere Severus Snape x Hufflepuff! Female Reader story :)) Sorry if this is too OOC!

TW: Bullying!, unhealthy feelings!, manipulation!, Mommy kink!, face sitting!, creampie!, Femdom!, consensual sex!, etc..

Please proceed with caution!)

A wide hand smacks his books from his hands, casting everything onto the cobblestone floor. A soft sigh leaves the blach haired man’s mouth, as he slowly looks up from his belongings, to see a smirking Sirius Black. 

“Watch where you’re going, Snape-boy,” The four males let out ugly laughs, eyes filled with mockery. Severus says nothing, moving to pick up his things, only to be stopped by James. 

“Don’t think that we’ll let you off the hook that easily,” The brunet’s glasses gleam with a dark delight, making the bullied boy gulp in fear, “We’ve seen you creep around that cute hufflepuff- what was her name again?” He pretends to think, allowing a grinning Peter to take over. 

“Yeah, you’ve been creeping around that cutie, (Your Name), for far too long. We’ve noticed you following her like a kicked puppy,” Remus shoves Severus into the wall, causing the 6’1 (1.85 m) man to hit it harshly. 

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed you telling her lies about us,” Confusion is clear on the tall man’s face, causing all four of them to scoff, “She refuses to hang out with us, because she claims we harass you! That’s not true, is it, Snape-boy?” 

“I-well, uhm-”

“I-well, uhm,” James mocks, a knowing grin on his devilish features, “Don’t be nervous, we won’t hurt you.”

“Well, you lot haven’t been too kind to me these past few years,” More scoffs echo off the cobblestone walls, making the tall man feel small. 

“That’s not true, and you know it. We’ve been joking around with you, because we’re friends, aren’t we?” Remus reassures condescendingly, “Plus, friends tell friends when they’re wrong. You’re wrong for pursuing (Your Name), because Remus, here,” He slaps the dirty blond man on the back good-naturedly, “Liked her first. So, having you around, writing in your creepy notebooks about her, will no longer be appreciated.” 

An angry flush covers Snape’s pale cheeks, “It-it’s not like that! (Your Name) is my friend, please don’t make me-”

“Make you? We never make you do anything. We’re just suggesting you leave her alone, unless you want us to take matters into our own hands.” 

Sweat beads on the brow of the black haired man, as he tried to look around for anyone willing to help. No one besides the five of them are in the hall. 

“No,” The four raise a collective eyebrow at his disobedience, “No, I won’t stop being friends with (Your Name). I don’t care what you do to me.”

“That’s sweet, really, but I’m going to have to change your mind,” Remus snarls, his hands balling into fists. In a swift motion, the dirty blond man starts to punch at Severus’ face and chest. The tall man doesn’t have time to put his hands up, getting wailed in the head and torso multiple times. 

The blond’s friends jump in as well, quickly bringing their victim to the floor. Their kicks and hits are rapid paced, disorienting him relatively quickly. He curls into the fetus position, trying to protect his head, luckily stopping their punches. 

His assault continues for a few moments more, before he’s dragged to his feet, and held against the wall by the collar of his shirt, “Are you going to leave her alone now?” 

Snape shakes his head, blood dripping down his face, entire body aching, “No, I won’t. I let you lot walk all over me for far too long. We’re in our last year, why are you acting as if we’re first years?” 

Remus tightens his grip around his collar, teeth bared like an animal, “That’s the wrong answer.”

The blond raises a fist to punch him once more, only to be stopped by a familiar voice. 

“What are you doing?” Your concerned voice rings through the hall, along with your running footsteps. Hurrying up to the group of boys, you start to shove at Remus, trying to break his hold on your close friend (crush), “Let him go! Are you crazy?” 

Your friends are seen down the hall, looking at you in both surprise and slight disdain, “(Your Name), stay out of their business. Once they settle it, everything will be fine-”

“You can’t honestly think that I’ll let them hurt Severus! He’s our friend, and-”

“Stop standing up for him, he’s a total creep. The Marauders are doing you a favour-” You block out what your friends are saying, continuing to push at the blond’s hands. 

“Stop it, Remus! Just leave him alone!” He quickly pulls away, causing you to sigh in relief, only for you to be the one pinned against the wall. Your friend is being held by the blond’s lackeys, holding him back from helping you. Your other friends watch on in horror.

“Why must you always get in my way, Love? I’m trying to teach him a lesson,” You wrinkle your nose in disgust, trying to wriggle out of his grip. 

“Don’t call me that. Just leave Severus and I alone. I understand that you have taken a liking towards me, but that doesn’t excuse your horrid behaviour. If anything, it makes me dislike you! You’re nasty, big headed, crude, and mean for virtually no reason! I don’t understand why you and your friends act this way-”

“He doesn’t deserve your affection!” He blurts out without thinking, his grip on your wrists tightening, “He hangs around you like a dark shadow, he makes everyone around him uncomfortable-”

“I think he’s cute,” You snap out uncharacteristically, “In fact, him following me around is harmless; you following me around, on the other hand, is very harmful. People are afraid to talk to me because of you, and he’s one of the only people who stayed being my friend. I don’t want to hear you talk badly about him, when he has made my life better than it was before.”

Remus releases you after a long moment of silence, a hurt look on his handsome features, “Fine. Stay with the freak if you want to, just don’t come crying to me-”

“I won’t. I won’t seek you out, ever,” The blond motions towards his friends, prompting them to release your friend. You hurry to the dark haired man, cupping his face with soft hands, “Are you alright, Severus? They didn’t hurt you too badly did they?” His lip trembles, signaling oncoming tears, prompting you to turn towards your friends and wave off their concern, “It’s alright, you guys go to class, I’ll take him to the nurse.”

They stalked off, Remus constantly looking back at you. Unfortunately for him, all of your attention is on a certain tall man. 

“Come along, Sev, let’s go to the nurse,” He shakes his head as he sobs uncontrollably, “No? Well, I can’t let you stay battered… Do you want to go to my dormitory? I’ll heal you there,” He nods, allowing you to half-drag-half-pull him towards the Hufflepuff dorm. You’d picked up his things and set them in your satchel, before heading off. Many cast the Slytherin man questioning looks, but quickly realised who was helping him. You’re known as one of the kindest souls at Hogwarts, so it’s not too unlike you to help the freaks of the school. 

Once in your room, you help him sit on your full size mattress. You share the room with only one other girl, leaving two empty beds between the both of you. Luckily, she’s out of the room, most likely at her boyfriend’s dorm room. 

Sitting beside him, you quickly pull out your wand, “This might feel a bit weird, but I promise I’m helping,” You murmur a healing spell to yourself, watching as his skin becomes smooth and even toned once more, “There we go! Good as-oh no, why are you crying again? Did it hurt?” 

Hearing your distraught voice, he tries to comfort you whilst bawling his eyes out, “Nu-no, no, you du-did nothing wu-wrong,” He throws his arms around you, bringing you into a tight hug, “It-it’s just… You treat me so well, and-and I love you so much-” He cuts himself off to hide his face in your neck. Oh no, he just accidentally confessed!

You giggle to yourself at his shy behaviour, and run a hand through his messy hair, “It’s because I love you too, silly,” When you say that, Severus practically feels his soul leave his body. His Darling loves him?

“You-you love me too?” Nodding against him, you cuddle him sweetly. You rub his back reassuringly, rocking him slightly. 

“Yep! I’ve liked you for the past few years, but I never had the courage to confess,” He raises his head, looking at you with watery eyes. 

“Really?” When you nod, he can’t help himself, “Can I- Can I please have a kiss?” 

“Of course!” You lean forward, giving him a sweet peck. Severus practically creams his pants at the feeling of your lips on his. Seeing his bright red face, you frown a bit, moving his hair out of his face, “Are you alright? Did I make you feel uncomfortable?” 

“No! No, it was nice,” A dreamy smile crosses his handsome features, as he leans in again, “Can I please have another one?” Smiling, you nod, smooching him softly once more. 

This, in turn, turns into a whole makeout session. You slide onto his lap, making it easier for you to reach his mouth. Your new seating arrangements allow you to feel his hard cock under your ass, a small smile quirking its way onto your lips, “Are you excited, Sevvy?” You hear a small whimper in response, causing you to giggle, “Do you want me to help you?”

“Please?” Instead of responding, you start to grind against his clothed cock. Your panty clad cunny is directly against his fly, your skirt just barely covering your ass. Grabbing his hands, you place them on your hips, their massive size making you feel secure. Severus whines at your grinding movement, hips bucking into your own. To silence him, you give him an open mouthed kiss, your tongue dominating his own. 

Drawing away from his mouth, there’s a long string of saliva connecting you both together. Using a manicured finger, you break it, and bring it to your mouth. Your tongue darts out, licking your shared spit off seductively, “Do you want me to fuck you, Sevvy? Wanna be inside of me?” 

“Yes! Yes, please!” You run a hand over his clothing clad chest, kissing him on the cheek. 

“Okay, Baby. Do you want me to suck your cock? Or do you wanna eat me out?” His hands grip at the fat of your hips, drool practically dripping from his gaping mouth. 

“Let me eat you, please,” Snape begs, bucking slightly into you. You cup his face with both hands and grin, pinching his cheeks teasingly. 

“Okie dokie, Sevvy. Lay back for me,” He drops back like a corpse, flopping haphazardly on your, surprisingly comfortable, mattress. Unzipping your uniform skirt, you slide it down your legs, tossing it on the other side of your bed. Your cute boyfriend gasps at the sight of your thong, never seeing one before. Chuckling at his shocked reaction, you quickly strip yourself of your blazer and dress shirt, exposing your lace bralette, “Do you like what you see?” 

His head practically snaps off his neck with how fast he nods, “You look so… so beautiful, (Your Name). I feel so lucky to see you this way,” A dark blush coats your (skin colour) cheeks, as you look away a bit shyly. 

“Thank you. Will you let me see you undressed?” He squeaks out a ‘yes,’ prompting you to practically rip off his slacks, dress shirt, and blazer. Only in his drawers, your heart jumps into your throat. His broad shoulder and lightly muscled abdomen look wonderfully full, and the very apparent bulge in his boxers make you lick your lips hungrily, “Are you ready to eat my pussy, Sev?”

“Yes, please sit on my face,” You gawk at his out-of-character words, but do as he asks. Slipping your panties off, you scoot forward, placing your bare cunny on his awaiting maw. He helps you settle on him by wrapping his arms around your (Size) thighs, relishing the feeling of your fat being squished between his forearm and bicep. 

Because he wrapped his arms over your legs, he is able to part your pussy lips, giving him easy access to your throbbing core. He gives an experimental lick to your slit, making your legs tremble. Now knowing that he’s doing something right, he dives in like  a man starved. His teeth lightly nip at your engorged clit, all whilst his tongue dips into your dripping hole. A squeal leaves your lips, signaling the pleasure you’re currently feeling. 

Gripping his head by his hair, you throw your head back in pleasure, “Ye-yes! You’re doing so well for me!” He keens at your praise, increasing the speed of his ministrations. Though you can tell that he’s a virgin, he’s exceeding your expectations by a long shot. Lightly grinding against his face, more moans and whimpers leave your throat, your entire body becoming rigid as your orgasm approaches. With one last well placed suck, you’re cumming into his open mouth. Your juices run down his chin and splash against his cheekbones, causing Snape’s heart to practically beat out of his chest. You’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

Moving off of his face, you pat him on the head affectionately, “Did I do good?” He wipes some of your juices off of his mug, before slurping them down. 

“You were amazing, Sevvy. Have you done this before?” He shakes his head no, making you coo softly, “You’re a natural! Such a good boy.”

“Thank you, Mommy,” It’s like his entire body took a screenshot, with how still he became. He must have thought you’d be disgusted… but you aren’t. Instead, a small moan leaves your lips, before you bring him up into a hug. 

“My Baby Boy likes calling me Mommy? You’re so adorable,” You reach down to his cock, pulling him out with a tender touch. His tip is a dark pink, his precum dripping down his thick length. A large vein runs up the underside of his circumcised prick, and you can’t wait to sit on it, “Is it ok for Mommy to sit on your pretty cock, Sevvy?” You slip him between your cunny lips, grinding down on his length, and mixing your liquids together. 

“Ye-yes, Mommy! Please, please fuck me!” Taking him in one hand, you guide him to your opening, before pushing his tip inside teasingly. His whimper causes a gush of your slick to coat his length, helping you ease down him, until your pelvises touch. You can feel his dark, trimmed pubic hair rub against your cunny, making you squeeze down experimentally, “You-you’re so tight!” 

Smiling at him coyly, you reach behind you, and unclasp your bra, letting your perfect tits jiggle enticingly. You toss it aside, before grasping Severus’ hands, and guiding them to your breasts. He immediately squeezes, loving the feeling of them in his hands. You let out a small whimper, moving your hips in a circular motion, ultimately grinding him against your cervix. 

“Can I move, Pretty Boy?” Groans of pleasure rattle his chest, as you start to suck dark hickies onto his pristine skin. 

“Yes! Yes!” Giggling, you quickly lift your hips almost off of his cock, before slamming down harshly. Both of you groan in pleasure, signaling you to increase your pace. Moving at lightning speed, you start to bounce rapidly. Tits jiggling in the Slytherin boy’s hands, you bring him into a heated kiss. 

You swallow down his desperate whines, your hands pulling at his unkempt locks. Juices dripping down his cock, both of your thighs are quickly covered by your essence. His abdomen rubs against your clit with every bounce, bringing you closer and closer to your release. 

Breaking from the kiss, you suck on the skin of his throat, before speaking, “You’re so big, Sevvy. My pussy can barely handle how thick you are,” His hips meet yours, hitting your cervix harshly. A loud moan escapes you, “Fu-fuck! You’re so good for Mommy! Come on, Darling, meet my movement, and you can cum inside.”

At your words, he starts a breakneck pace, meeting your every movement with a mighty thrust. Your hands reach up to pinch his pretty, pink nipples, making him falter in his movements. 

“Mommy! Mommy-you feel so good! Please let me cum inside!” Increasing almost impossibly in speed, you feel yourself quickly hurtling over the edge. 

“Gu-go ahead! Mommy wants you to cum with her!” With one last sitting movement, the both of you orgasm harshly. Your back arches almost painfully, as you feel him fill you to the brim with thick, hot cum. Your own juices squirt out, coating the both of you in a sheen of white sperm and a glossy cunny juice. 

Severus face plants into your chest, practically drowning in your perfect teats. Whilst catching your breath, you run your hands through his hair, loving how silky the strands are. 

“You did well, Sevvy. You were so good for me,” You fully embrace him, as he buries his head further into your plush chest. 

“Th-thank you, Mommy, I’m glad I was good enough for you,” Bringing his face up to your level (wish is relatively hard, because he’s tall), you smile sweetly at him. 

“You’re always enough for me,” Kissing him on the forehead, you cuddle into him for a while longer. 

While you’re content and happy, Severus is over the moon. 

The girl he’d pined over for years is finally within his grasp! He’d have to write this moment down the moment he gets to his dorm! 

He’s just one step closer to stealing her away the moment they graduate. Hopefully, you’ll still be the homemaker he knows you’re meant to be, even if you’re a bit angry at him at first. 

Wrapping his arms tightly around you, he knows that you’re the only one for him. Hopefully, you think the same, too.

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[ahtsumu]

目送 ; oikawa tooru

「alt. title: five times oikawa didn’t look back and the one time he did」

↳ pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader

↳ synopsis: you spend a lifetime watching him go, sometimes with your stomach tied in knots, sometimes with tears in your eyes, but always with love.

↳ genre(s): angst, fluff, basically an emotional rollercoaster, non-linear storyline

↳ warning(s): profanity, depiction of a panic attack, suggestive themes

↳ length: 5.4k words

↳ a/n: hq fam how we doing after 402 ?? LOL anyway this is my birthday gift to oikawa tooru: my sun, moon, and stars, second to none, yadda yadda. the title is taken from a book with the same name, in case you were wondering. please pay attention to the roman numerals ahead of each section!! enjoy!

v.

“This is the last call for Japan Airlines flight 717 to Buenos Aires, now boarding at gate number twelve. This is the last call…”

Goodbyes are hard when you know they’re forever. Or at least a while.

The clamour of Haneda airport dims to a faint buzz as the two of you continue standing with touching shoulders–– facing the jetliner instead of each other–– in futile hopes of delaying the inevitable.

Oikawa knows that you’re holding in your tears by the light tremors running through your body. Permitting himself to steal a look at your side profile, he notices the familiar tensing of your jaw and hard-set look in your red-rimmed eyes.

Tch. You said you wouldn’t cry.

Impulsively, he unzips his backpack and pulls out a familiar turquoise banner. It feels like just yesterday the team handed him the silk fabric with everyone’s farewell gifts wrapped inside.

Out-of-sequence memories of the Spring High qualifiers flash through your mind. The orange-haired Karasuno player’s spike ricochets off Oikawa’s forearms. The numbers on both sides of the scoreboard slowly inch up like they’re taking turns. Oikawa’s white knuckles against the metal basin. Red eyes. Heaving chest. Something soft against your skin. Rule the Court.

And just like the last time, he gently drapes it over your shoulders, brushing his fingers against your neck as he does so. God, how he wants to kiss you.

“But it’s yours,” you protest weakly, making no move to give it back.

“It won’t be for a while.” His voice cracks when he speaks. But it will be mine again when I come back for it.

He wants to kiss you. One last time.

He wants your mouth against his like absolution to a sinner because he knows that what he’s done to you, what he’s doing to you right now, is comparable to desecration. But he remembers the look on your face that night he broke the news to you. How your megawatt grin caved into a wince when the length of his contract with Club Athletico San Juan finally registered in your mind.

You swallow your feelings of betrayal. You knew what you were getting yourself into.

“Five years is an awfully long time to be apart,” you say after a while.

Oikawa bites his lip. He doesn’t have the heart to say that five was just the starting number. If he does well there, he’ll probably stay longer. He’ll probably do well there. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

Seconds drag into minutes. The cavity in his stomach festers as he waits for your response, but he has a feeling that he already knows your answer.

So instead, all he can do when your floodgates finally burst open is cup your face in his calloused palms and wipe away some of your tears before offering you his own watery smile.

Through your blurred vision, you watch as the boy in front of you steels his resolve and disappears from your life through the jet bridge, ignoring his heart as it begs for one last look over his shoulder.

Oikawa nods numbly when the old man sitting beside him asks if he’s leaving home for the first time. Home, he realises, isn’t anywhere with walls, isn’t an address, isn’t even a person. When someone says they want to go home, it’s not a space that they yearn for, but rather, a time.

He watches Japan grow smaller through the window and feels himself yearn for the time he still had your heart in his hands. It felt like he was holding the sun.

i.

You wouldn’t consider July 21st to be a special day. Nothing special happened earlier that morning when you woke up without your usual alarm. Nothing special happened when your friends texted you four simple words–– come to Azukihana beach!–– during breakfast. But (and this will come to you much, much later) something special happened when said friends left you to guard their things as they dashed to the supermarket for more snacks.

For now, it’s just July 21st, and you’re lying with your back against a towel on the first day of summer break, soaking in the sun, peacefully flipping through a book.

“DON’T FUCKING DO IT, YOU COLOSSAL PIECE OF SHIT!” The familiar voice tears through the beach. Was that Iwaizumi? You set the book down and sit up to check.

And suddenly, the yellow and blue volleyball that had been leisurely rolling your way halts perfectly before your toes. Behind it jogs a shirtless brunet you’ve definitely seen around school.

Oikawa Tooru stops right behind the runaway volleyball and peers at you through half-lidded eyes. “Sorry about that,” he says, flashing you a charming smile.

After casually picking up the ball with one hand, he flexes his abdominal muscles as he straightens back up. Chestnut irises attempt to discreetly sweep over your features but you catch his gaze in the act, quirking an unamused brow. You also catch the intrigued twitch of his lips that follow.

You’re not stupid. Despite having never met him, you know a lot about the Grand King (as many call him). He’s the constant subject of Iwaizumi’s ire and you’ve heard a lifetime’s complaints about him at joint-family luncheons.

But here’s what’s important: you know that he tears himself apart to be the player his team needs him to be, that he sometimes makes Iwaizumi wish he’d passed the Shiratorizawa entrance exam, and that he fiddles with hearts like origami and sets fire to those beautiful fragile trinkets right after.

And in the interest of self-defence (but against what the devil on your shoulder begs), you choose to not place your most prized possession on the table.

A simple “no worries” passes through your lips. You return to your book. A page turns.

Oikawa Tooru is dismissed.

Though your gaze is trained on the page, you can feel his presence at your feet for a few seconds longer. You wonder what his next move is. Much to your surprise, instead of trying to strike up another conversation, he simply lets out an airy hum and strolls back to the sand court where he came from without a second glance.

Iwaizumi wonders why Oikawa is smiling so victoriously after watching the whole ordeal, but your tan family friend has, unlike the calculating Grand King, failed to notice one important detail:

your book is upside down.

And, as if in a trance, your eyes have followed Oikawa all the way back to his sandy kingdom.

Once the sun has set, Iwaizumi checks his phone and notices a text he’d missed in the afternoon. It’s from Y/N. Unease digs itself in his chest when he realises it can’t possibly be for anything except…

hey what was that about?

This can’t be good. Thumbs rapidly typing a response, he races to quash any interest you may have budding in Oikawa. You… you’re good. Nice. Smart enough for UTokyo. A bit naive, but he’s been around your overbearing parents long enough to see it’s not entirely your fault. And even though you run in different circles at school, he feels obligated to protect you from monsters that hide beneath pretty surfaces. He’s known you since the two of you were in diapers.

just trash being what it is

Iwaizumi watches the three grey dots on your side appear, disappear, reappear, and disappear again. And that’s when he realises that he cannot help you. The villain in this arc of your story has already sunken his teeth in your tender, unsullied flesh.

trash?

He sighs.

oikawa

It isn’t a surprise to Iwaizumi when summer break ends and Oikawa’s chestnut eyes start hunting for someone in the cafeteria during lunch. He doesn’t raise a brow when he hears that the second-year captain has been sneaking into Class 7, sometimes with flowers in his hands, and strolling out with a dazed look on his face. He slaps his teammates out of shock when Oikawa mentions his troubles with pursuing some girl–– but not before slapping himself first. Because the Oikawa he knows is not a chaser.

“Her name’s Y/N,” the brunet says, suddenly realising that he has never introduced any of his temporary interests to the team. But it’s been well over two months and he’s starting to think he’s been friend-zoned. Or worse. “I think she hates me.” He laughs melodically, then cocks his head in contemplation. “Is it weird that I kinda like that?”

Iwaizumi hides a satisfied smile behind a sip of water. Oikawa’s revelation has cleared the unease your name brought to his chest. Just a little. Perhaps he’d misread you. You have a bite of your own.

iii.

It’s routine for Oikawa to slink into Class 7 with a dazzling grin during morning break, but he’ll sometimes show up with flowers instead just to remind you that his affections, along with his modus operandi–– haven’t changed since he first started visiting you in September.

The girls in your homeroom have grown used to seeing the six-foot-tall volleyball captain hovering around your desk like a butterfly. Most treat him as part of the scenery nowadays. To them, Oikawa Tooru is no longer the mysterious, out-of-reach deity the rest of the school still paints him to be.

So when he strolls into class on a chilly January afternoon with your name a tune on his lips, they leave him be. Recently, the ladies of Seijoh have focused their attentions on some fellow on the swim team, anyway. Oikawa doesn’t feel as upset as he thinks he should about his shrinking fan club, but when his gaze finds yours already steady, expectant, utterly adoring on him, he understands why.

“For the lady,” he says like he does every time. A cluster of yellow flowers wrapped in brown kraft paper plop onto your desk. He pulls a chair up to your side, purposely ignoring, again, how two certain grooves in the wooden floor keep growing deeper with his visits.

You remember the first time he started bringing you flowers.

A posy of pink flowers sits awkwardly on your desk, untouched.

“I tell you I’d rather take your serve to my face than attend the bunkasai with you and your response is to give me weeds?” you reply with your chin in the palm of your hands, amusement blossoming over your features.

“Stop being a tease, Y/N-chan, they’re flowers,” he huffs, crossing his arms on your desk. “And I know you want to take them. The florist even said I have immaculate taste.”

“Really? Then what do these mean?”

Oikawa falters.

“Hmm?”

“Pink camellias,” he finally says, carefully enunciating the flower's name, “means that you’re a fucking tease. And that you should come to the bunkasai with me.” You snort and tell him to quit volleyball and join comedy club, feeling a strange warmth in your chest when he laughs.

The two of you fall into the same rhythm as always, talking a little bit about this and that, throwing in witty remarks where they belong, never passing up the chance to make fun of each other’s little idiosyncrasies. He’s enraptured by the way you string words together to describe the story behind your class’s bunkasai performance and all the gears in your brain whirr when he explains the strategy he’s using against the team Seijoh’s playing later that day.

When the bell rings, he reluctantly drags his chair back to the desk he stole it from. Just before he slinks back out the door, though, you tell him with a stern gaze that the Ushiwaka from Shiratorizawa he just spent the break shit-talking doesn’t hold a candle to Seijoh’s Grand King.

It’s like you had just stepped under a new light. Oikawa pauses in front of the doorway, trying to decipher what it is that’s different about you. And suddenly, the roses in his cheeks are in full bloom. Delighted and puzzled at his own realisation, he turns around without a second glance your way and strides back to Class 5. Oh, man, he muses as he passes through the emptying corridor. Oh, man. Iwa-chan is going to love this.

Your phone buzzes later that evening.

seijoh v. shiratorizawa 1-2, the text reads, quickly followed by, GAH.

Your lips twitch, though it doesn’t reach your eyes. Tapping your fingers against your phone screen for a response that’ll cheer him up, you suddenly remember a phrase Oikawa said earlier that day. It drew a laugh from you when it came out his contorted face.  He was obviously still hung up over with the words of the opposing team’s ace. Hopefully, it makes him feel something else coming from you.

you should’ve come to shiratorizawa, you send, grinning.

His response is immediate.

l m f A O

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

And then you’re reminded of his petalled gift on your desk, now comfortably sitting in a glass vase at your bedside. Pink camellias, he said? Curious, you open your laptop and type in the name for its meaning.

Longing, you remember, watching your boyfriend chatter about something–– probably aliens–– animatedly. The yellow flowers on your desk, you realise, are ones you’ve never seen before.

“Oikawa, what’s the name of these?” you suddenly ask. He stops in the middle of his sentence (he was definitely talking about aliens, by the way), and grins smugly.

“Jonquils,” he says with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “spelt J-O-N-Q-U-I-L-S, means that your boyfriend’s going to colonise Mars one day. And if you’re lucky, you can be the first queen of Mars. How ‘bout that?”

It doesn’t mean what he says it does, by the way.

ii.

Splashes of pink and orange have already settled into the blue sky above when you step onto the rooftop of Seijoh’s humanities building. Despite the breeze that has swept through the air, the flame of curiosity in your stomach burns just enough for you to turn a cheek to the cold.

Come to the rooftop at 6 PM.

It’s 5:59. Impatient, you study the note in your hand again. Maybe you’ll be able to glean something from the laconic letter this time.

Much to your irritation, no one had seen the author of this note. They had expertly placed the unsigned card on your desk with a single rose and Hershey’s chocolate kiss on top during lunch. Elegantly scrawled, their seven words have had your brain running circles all day around their identity. Could it be…? No–– he seemed completely normal earlier today. Still, you can’t shake your suspicions. They borderline hope.

Who else…

You inhale the cool air deeply and lean back against the rooftop railing, eyes burning a hole into the metal entrance. The door swings open with a high-pitched groan. Your breath catches in your throat.

… if not him?

Time briefly stops when Oikawa Tooru steps through the entrance, still in his volleyball uniform, sweaty from practice, cheeks the same colour as the setting sun. There’s an unusually tentative look on his face, though it’s immediately wiped off and replaced with the realisation that this is real when he sees you slightly slack-jawed, blinking once, twice, three times before letting out a breath.

“You look surprised. Expecting someone else to confess today?” he asks, crossing his arms in front of his uniformed chest. Despite how his features are contorted by his poorly hidden jealousy, you can’t help but feel a flood of blood rush through your veins, lighting every inch of your skin on fire.

Because whether he knows it or not, Oikawa, the Grand King of the Court, prettiest boy in all of Miyagi, has skipped the table and placed his heart straight into your hands.

“Of course not,” you retort. “I just didn’t think you’d… well, do something like this.” And I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Iwaizumi’s words still find their way into your mind sometimes. I didn’t want origami made from my heartstrings.

Oikawa’s demeanour changes and his eyes dart away from your face. Shoving his hands into his windbreaker’s pockets, he admits, “I’ve honestly never done something like this before.” A faint blush spreads across his cheeks.

“Really? You’ve never stepped foot in the fourteenth shrine of Sendai?” you tease, referring to how Seijoh students have claimed this very rooftop as one of the God of Love’s many temples. You both know he holds the school record for the number of visits to this rooftop. At this rate, he could be one of its caretakers.

“That’s not what I meant,” he replies with a scowl, though the awkward tension between you two dissipates. And it feels like the two of you are back at your desk in Class 7, snickering uncontrollably while throwing playful jabs at each other. Sensing the change in atmosphere, Oikawa finally steps forward to join you by the railing.

Humming softly, he rests his elbows on the metal bar, props his head up with his hands, and sets his gaze on the lowering sun.

It’d be unfair to say that you didn’t at least try to enjoy the moment of peace with the boy beside you. But there’s a burning question on your mind that you can’t put off asking any longer.

“Why me?” you finally blurt out. “You could have any girl in this school. What made you choose me?”

The brunet whips his head around, disbelief written all over his face. “You think I chose to chase after the most annoying girl in all of Miyagi?” He laughs. “Ridiculous. I’d never willingly put myself through that unnecessary angst.”

You scoff and cross your arms.

“I think that when you like someone, it’s harder to explain why,” he quickly adds. “‘Cause it’s not supposed to make sense. I bet that the inability to explain your feelings is a prerequisite for true feelings, actually. It’s logical to say that you’d date Person A because they’re smart, or Person B because they’re hot, or Person C because they’re rich. But I’m pretty sure that that’s not… that’s not falling for someone. When you fall for someone… you just do. No logic required. You weren’t an option I ultimately settled on, Y/N. One day I just woke up and thought, if not you, then no one else.”

A beat passes. A flurry of words floods through your brain, only to evaporate when the devil on your shoulder decides that words aren’t quite adequate for what you want Oikawa to hear.

So instead, your feet take you one step closer into his space. Impulsively, your fingers find their way to his nape and your eyes flutter shut and suddenly–– suddenly, your parted lips brush against Oikawa’s. Instantly, he deepens the kiss, soft lips surging against yours like a pulse under pressure. You barely register his arms snaking around your waist, tighter and tighter until the space between your bodies is completely closed off.

Breathless, you finally detach your lips from his. Oikawa, who still has you encircled in his arms, pouts at the loss of contact, though he sulky façade only lasts a second before it gives way to a grin that stretches from ear to ear. He looks magnificent. Cheeks red, lips flushed, chest heaving, eyes wide with excitement. You want to kiss him again.

“One more.” It’s as if he read your mind. “To celebrate that last one.”

When Oikawa finally detaches himself from your lips, it’s to respond to the buzzing in his pocket. Noticing your raised brows, he explains that it’s an alarm for practice. The Spring High Prelims are just around the corner and he doesn’t plan on graduating without never having taken his team to Nationals.

“That’s my cue,” he states with a warm–– read: not apologetic–– smile. He doesn’t grab your hand or look imploringly into your eyes in hopes that you understand, never mind that you just shared your first kiss, never mind that you just became his girlfriend.

If Oikawa’s looking for any sign of your objection, he won’t find any. Instead, you step out of his space with an acquiescent nod. You knew what you were getting yourself into.

“Play well,” you say softly.

But before he heads for the creaky rooftop door, he presses one last kiss to your lips. And then he turns around, whistling as he goes, leaving you beaming behind his back with the light of a thousand suns.

iv.

When Matsukawa hands you the turquoise “Rule the Court” banner after the team lunch with a shit-eating grin on his face, the only resistance you offer is a resigned sigh.

“I’ve been dating Oikawa since we were second years,” you say flatly.

“Sorry, Y/N-san, but it’s the team’s hazing ritual,” he replies, not appearing sorry at all. “And you’re the only one who hasn’t done it.” He jerks his head at the blonde girl standing a little farther from the group with Hanamaki. “Emiko-san did it at the last game.”

“Plus, it’s the Spring High qualifier semifinals!” Kindaichi adds. “It’s an even bigger deal for you to do it now, especially since you had to miss our games on the first two days for school.” The team murmurs in agreement.

You shudder at the thought of your impending distress. Sit in the front row of the cheer squad and raise the banner with a scream every time your boyfriend serves? Fleeing from the Sendai City Gymnasium back home in an expensive taxi suddenly becomes very appealing.

Seeing the expectant and hopeful looks on the rest of the team’s faces, however, you begrudgingly place the banner in your backpack, signalling your acceptance of the horrible, cringe-worthy tradition.

“Where is Oikawa-san?” Kindaichi asks, rotating his turnip-shaped head around rapidly. “He was just at the team lunch. Iwaizumi-san’s missing too…”

Kunimi shrugs, pulling out his copy of the team schedule. He starts herding the team towards one of the courts. “Our game against Karasuno starts about an hour, so we should start warm-ups in around fifteen minutes.”

Worry creeps up your spine. For the past few days, all Oikawa has talked about is this match against his bratty kouhai’s team. And in the past two weeks leading up to today, you haven’t been able to even catch a glimpse of his face outside of break or lunch. To suddenly go missing before warm-ups doesn’t seem like Oikawa. You’re about to ask the team if he’s ever done this before, but your phone starts ringing a familiar tune and the question is set aside.

“Iwai––”

“Third-floor bathroom by the orange pillar. Come alone. Don’t tell anyone. Emergency.” Through his harsh and abrupt tone, you pick up traces of fear.

“What––”

“It’s Oikawa.” The call is cut before you can ask any more questions. Heart suddenly racing, you tell the team that your mother just called with questions about your new smart blender and excuse yourself to “explain what the manufacturers mean by salsify”. No one sees you bolt towards the nearest set of staircases with Oikawa the only thought on your mind.

There are very few things in this world that scare you. Stray hairs in the bathroom, the dark, essays longer than three pages… but the terror that short-circuits your brain when you find your boyfriend in the bathroom–– knuckles white around the sink, chest heaving violently, frenzied pupils surrounded by broken blood vessels–– trumps any fear you’ve faced before.

Iwaizumi stands helplessly beside him.

“Is he having a panic attack?” you question, still unable to move your feet. You’ve never seen Oikawa like this before. He’s the Grand King who hums while he walks, who spams your phone’s camera roll with peace-signs and funny faces, who winks and flirts and teases without regard. But watching the long-deified setter crumble like a measly human before you, you realise that Oikawa is also the guy who tore his meniscus from overexertion, who trades sleep to study his opponents play, who works his body to the bone just to stay a hairline above a certain Karasuno setter.

“A scout for the Schweiden Adlers said that Kageyama will soon surpass Oikawa in skill.” Iwaizumi explains how they had overheard the conversation lowly in your ear. “I got us into this bathroom just before he completely lost it. 5-4-3-2-1 isn’t working. And he won’t listen to a word I say.” What’s 5-4-3-2-1? Well, if it isn’t working then don’t focus on that right now.

Your eyes dart to Oikawa’s quivering body again. “I don’t know how to pull someone out of a panic attack.”

“The goal is to ground him. So use physical touch, make him feel something with texture, and get him to talk,” he responds instantly. Mechanically. Like he’s all-too-familiar with this set of instructions. A heaviness grows in the pit of your stomach when you realise what that means for Oikawa. And yet, from that very dread sprouts strength.

Slowly, you tread over to Oikawa and place a hand on his arm. His muscles tense under your touch but when you murmur over and over that it’s “Y/N, your girlfriend, the most annoying girl in Miyagi”, his fingers loosen ever-so-slightly from the metal basin. He lets you lead him to the bench by the door. He lets you drape the Seijoh banner over his shoulders like it’s armour and wrap your arms around his waist. He lets you press your cheek to his sweat-drenched back.

Get him to talk.

“Remember that quote you showed me from that interview of yours? What was it again?” you question softly.

No response.

“If you’re going to hit it, hit it until it breaks,” you say into his ear.

Through the mirror, you see his eyes widen with recognition. In the brief moment of lucidity that washes over Oikawa’s glistening face, you repeat the original question again, followed by his own quote.

Again and again.

And Oikawa finally says back.

“If you’re going to hit it, hit it until it breaks.” Focus re-enters his gaze. He blinks as if just waking from a spell.

“That’s right,” you say as firmly as possible. “So don’t you dare break first, Tooru.”

An unreadable blend of emotions scrawls itself over his features. While Oikawa washes his face with cold water, you remember rumination and resolve but can’t decipher the rest, giving up anyway when Iwaizumi pushes open the bathroom door. When the light washes over Oikawa, his face shows no signs of the episode he just had. It’s just like how the sky moves on after a storm, how the sun beams to say, “I’m here now. The rain has gone.”

But sometimes it still rains in spite of the sun.

A sunshower. It sounds so beautiful. But it’s wonderfully sad.

The three of you wordlessly make your way to the court where the rest of Seijoh is likely getting ready to warm up. What are you supposed to say after that? What can you say?

Once the smell of air salonpas and sweat finally greets your nose, Oikawa slips the Seijoh banner off his back and hands it over to you. Guessing that’s your cue to leave, you tell him to play well like you always do before starting to head for the upper deck. Softly, Oikawa asks you to wait.

“Stay for warm-ups,” he adds. “Please.”

From your spot behind the Seijoh divider, you carefully watch for any signs of another breakdown. To your relief, he goes the entire half-hour without a single crack in his disposition, exchanging laidback grins with the team, bantering with Iwaizumi. At one point he even has the audacity to taunt the Karasuno setter Tobio-chan, as Oikawa often says with a sneer.

Sunshowers, Y/N. Sunshowers.

Just before the referees call for the teams to line up at their ends of the court, Oikawa jogs over to you, eyes folding into thin crescents when he smiles.

He pulls the Seijoh banner out from your hands and gingerly cloaks it around your shoulders. Oikawa presses a quick kiss to your lips and murmurs, “Thank you.” Something in face tells you that it’s supposed to mean more than gratitude. Before you can read more into it, he turns back around and jogs to the line where his team awaits. Oikawa grins ferally.

Knowing that your luminous eyes are fixed to his back like his own set of wings, the monster crows on the other side suddenly look more like humans.

vi.

Oikawa isn’t surprised that his text is still unopened. At twenty-seven years old, he’s had his fair share of dead-ends when it comes to love. But he hadn’t expected radio silence from you of all people.

After closing all the tabs of Team Japan’s latest matches, he powers off his laptop and checks his phone again to reread what he wrote to your old number one last time. Still nothing. It’s highly probable you’ve changed phone numbers at least once in the last nine years, but the disappointment’s still there after he powers his phone off for the night. Tomorrow’s a big day and he’s not the same victim of self-destruction he had been in high school.

Or so he thinks, realising that texting the last person he loved the night before the 2021 Olympics volleyball finals might have been slightly irresponsible on his part. A thought arises in his head, though he quickly quashes it. Asking Iwaizumi to pass the message along would be a little overboard, wouldn’t it? Oikawa chuckles, imagining he response he’d get from his best friend (and Team Japan’s team trainer, that traitor).

“Go the fuck to sleep or I’ll put you to sleep, you dumbass simp,” he hears in Iwaizumi’s gruff voice.

He convinces himself that you’ll be there like you’ve always been. After all, he’s spent a lifetime with your pair of watchful eyes on his back. Satisfied, he drifts into a dreamless sleep.

The volume in the Ariake Arena is astronomical. Blood pounds against his ears as he sets the ball in the air, a monstrous grin carving into his face when his teammate José spikes the set straight down the net, drawing a wave of oohs and aahs from spectators on both sides.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at the flashy Team Argentina setter and finishes taping up Ushijima’s arm.

Oikawa turns haughtily towards the opposite team, gaze zeroing in on Team Japan’s raven-haired setter and the shrimpy ginger beside him. It’s been a while since he last saw them this close in person–– the chance encounter with Hinata in Brazil happened well over three years ago and he hadn’t had the time earlier in the tournament to say hello. Of course they’re the final boss in this arc, he muses, though the thought is void of vexation. Instead, begrudging pride blossoms in his chest. Truthfully, he had expected nothing less from his kouhai.

And he expects nothing less than finally tasting the ambrosia of victory against that monster–– no, an entire generation of monsters–– today. Monsters who happen to be the kids he grew up beside.

He wonders what you’d say at the sight of Japan’s greatest players all gathered on one court. On instinct, his eyes dive into the bleachers, searching for your face. Knowing he’s not likely to find you like this, he tsks, deciding to look for Iwaizumi instead. Maybe he knows where you are.

The referees signal for both teams to line up at their ends of the court. As he steps onto the white boundary line, he notices Iwaizumi’s gaze transfixed on someone in the upper deck on Team Argentina’s side. The neutral expression on his face morphs into shock, then recognition. And then he glances at Oikawa.

The latter’s brows furrow before everything clicks in place.

Who else…

All your memories together hit him at full force–– your face shimmering with tears in front of gate twelve in Haneda Airport, the feeling of your shallow breaths against his neck, the savvy lilt to your voice as you speak.

… if not her?

For the first time in his life, Oikawa Tooru looks behind his shoulder.

And there you are, leaning against the railing with the old Seijoh flag draped over your shoulders, a tender, splendid smile on your lips.

“Play well,” you mouth.

And Oikawa feels the sun rise back into his hands.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Winning the Championship Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 夺冠之约, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

[ Released on 28 September 2021 ]

The vibrations of my phone rouse me from the tediously long document. After looking at the caller, I answer it hurriedly.

MC: Gavin? Has your mission ended?

Gavin (on the phone): Soon. I’ll be back before the weekend. I should be able to make it in time for that café event you mentioned.

I suddenly recall how I had mentioned this event to Gavin before he left for the mission last month, but...

MC: Sob sob. I can’t go this weekend. I’m producing a new show, so I’ve been busier lately.

Gavin (on the phone): Is it a difficult show?

MC: A little bit... Come to think of it, Gavin, what type of sports shows appeal to you?

Gavin (on the phone): ...appeal to me? Competitive sports with commentators.

Just as I’m hesitating on whether to tell him about the problems I’m facing, someone on the other end of the line seems to be calling for him.

MC: Go and do your thing. I’m not facing any issues.

Gavin (on the phone): Okay. Contact me anytime if needed.

Right after hanging up, Minor knocks on the door and comes in.

Minor: Boss, I’ve made the arrangements for the collaborative filming of “Life’s Limits” with the City Sports and Culture Bureau. As per your request, I’ve selected a group of amateur racing hobbyists. The name list and materials have been sent to your e-mail.

MC: You’ve worked hard.

Minor: Boss, why don’t you take a break? Your dark circles have appeared.

MC: The company competing with us for this project is Light Media, and it’s much more experienced in producing sports shows as compared to us. We can’t let our guard down.

After more than half a month of research, I locked in my decision regarding the filming site - Hurricane Club.

This club is very well-known amongst motorcycle enthusiasts, and often organises competitions for amateurs.

This weekend, the club will be conducting a three-day training, and participants will be guided by professional coaches. There will even be a friendly race at the end.

The competition has a very novel format - it’s a three-person relay.

I intend to search for three photogenic motorists to form a small team. By following their daily experiences throughout the entire process, including their training sessions and the race, I’d produce a story about the team.

Minor: Boss, according to your request, isn’t the best choice Bro Gavin?

MC: That’s true...

During the initial planning stage, the first person I thought of was actually Gavin.

However, he doesn’t like appearing on shows, and was only willing to appear in previous shows because of me.

Moreover, he’s been away for a mission which lasted close to a month, and should get a proper rest over the weekend.

MC: In short, he... doesn’t quite fit the standard. You can leave work for now.

After sending Minor away, I re-focus on the thick stack of materials in front of me.

-

Before the peak hour on Friday, I head towards Hurricane Club in a rental car. While doing pre-filming checks, I answer the phone.

Minor: Boss, the three people we agreed on have set out. I’ve also found a suitable substitute. After careful selection, he’s definitely a top quality choice. I can guarantee that nothing will go wrong! You’ll get to see him once you reach the club! Boss, thanks for your hard work!

Before I have a chance to probe further, the dial tone sounds in the next second.

MC: This fellow is once again acting first before reporting afterwards... there shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Upon reaching the club, I meet up with the three team members we had contacted earlier.

Based on background research conducted by the company, they are generally outstanding, and are very enthusiastic when it comes to racing.

One of them is a young participant called Kelly, who obtained an amateur championship title in the past.

I quickly introduce the details of the shoot to them.

MC: Bro Liu, Xiao Yu, Kelly, thank you all for participating in this shoot. Afterwards, the club will be allocating you to your coaches for guidance. Even though this team was put together at short notice, I hope everyone can have faith in each other, and motivate each other. We also prepared a substitute team member...

??: Sorry I’m late.

A familiar voice drifts from behind me, and I immediately turn around.

Sunlight falls on every step Gavin takes towards me. The pair of eyes looking at me are bright and clear.

Gavin: I’m the substitute team member, Gavin. I’ve kept you waiting, Producer.

-

After the club assigns the coaches and enters the test run phase, I finally digest the “unexpected surprise” of Gavin’s sudden appearance.

I initially think of finding a chance to talk to him privately, but the coaches who arrive one after another leave me with no choice but to retract the gaze which keeps straying towards that figure.

I shake my head, forcing myself to focus on my current task. By the time all the filming angles are checked, most of the morning has already gone by.

Scanning my surroundings, I don’t see Gavin anywhere.

MC: ...where is he?

-

Walking along the racetrack and towards the vending machine, I decide to get a bottle of coffee to fill myself up before looking for Gavin.

Perhaps because I didn’t have breakfast, I suddenly feel dizzy after taking a few sips.

By the time I regain my senses, I’m carried over to a long bench by a familiar force. Meeting Gavin’s evidently frantic gaze, I quickly tug the corners of my lips upwards into a smile.

MC: Gavin, I was just about to look for you. Turns out you were here.

He doesn’t speak. Lifting his hand, he wipes away the thin sheen of sweat on my forehead lightly. Then, a breeze envelops me gently, warm and comforting.

He takes the coffee in my hand smoothly, then retrieves soya milk and a sandwich from the bag in his hand.

Gavin: Eat your breakfast.

MC: ...okay, I’ll listen to Sir Gavin.

I munch on the sandwich obediently, occasionally blinking at Gavin to convey a message which says, “I feel much better, so there’s no need to worry”.

Gavin’s slightly furrowed brows finally arch subconsciously.

Gavin: I heard from Minor that you’ve been working overnight to prepare for this show.

MC: Haha, don’t listen to his nonsense. It isn’t that exaggerated...

Gavin: I also heard that I didn’t fit the standard. What standard did you set?

MC: ...

I clench my fists in secret, condemning Minor from the bottom of my heart for his “heinous act” of betraying me.

MC: I can explain! You don’t like appearing on camera, and your identity in STF is a pretty sensitive topic...

Gavin: Mm, you’re right.

Gavin deliberately elongates his words, as though he doesn’t plan to let the matter go just like this.

Gavin: So what’s your standard?

MC: ...we hope for the motorists to have a certain level of professional competence, to be sufficiently photogenic, and most importantly, to have an enthusiastic heart. But I really didn’t mean to say that you didn’t fit this standard!

Gavin is finally unable to suppress the upward turn of his lips.

Gavin: Once you’re done today, sleep early tonight.

-

The training proceeds methodically, and filming goes very smoothly.

The roar of motors drift from the club’s racetrack, and motorcycles of every hue speed freely along the racetrack.

In the camera lens, two blue and white motorcycles seem to be speeding at the same pace, as though they’d break through the finish line at the same time.

Kelly: Have you ever participated in professional racing?

Gavin: Nope.

Kelly: The way you cornered the motorcycle a few times - you can’t do that with ease without a few years of experience. How did you do it?

Gavin: I just drive often.

Kelly: Let’s find a chance to ride together some time.

Kelly pats him on the shoulder before continuing the training. Gavin walks over to me, twisting open a bottle of water before taking a sip.

Gavin: Is filming going well?

MC: There’s too much footage from the training sessions. I might consider adding a special segment for interviews.

While speaking, I’m struck with an idea.

MC: Mr Gavin, why don’t you have a pre-interview with me to test out the effects?

I lift a bottle of water towards Gavin. 

MC: What made you like motorcycles?

Gavin: I don’t have a precise answer. By the time I realised it, I already liked them.

MC: In that case, are there any motorcycle-related experiences which left a deep impression on you?

Gavin is silent for a moment. He seems to think of something, then chuckles softly.

Gavin: The time it overturned.

MC: Overturned? When did that happen? You can tell me in secret - this will definitely not be disclosed to the public.

Gavin looks at me, and he speaks in a volume only the both of us can hear -

Gavin: [whispers] The time when I rode on a snowmobile with the girl I like.

The snow field in my memories is cold, but the breath at my ear causes the temperature of my ear to rise.

[Note] This is a reference to Snow Mountain Date

MC: [blushing] Cough, that was...

All of a sudden, a clamour from the racetrack interrupts my words. The both of us stand up, only to discover that a motorcycle has overturned on the track.

Many people are standing at the side, and some call out for the medical staff.

Gavin: That seems to be Old Liu. Let’s go over to have a look.

-

Doctor: There are soft tissue injuries to your wrist and leg. Recuperate properly over this duration, and don’t engage in any intense activities.

Bro Liu: What about the competition tomorrow...

MC: Bro Liu, just recuperate. The doctor said that once your injuries are healed, you can still ride motorcycles in the future.

Bro Liu glances at Gavin.

Bro Liu: I guess I must admit that I’m getting old. It’s time to hand the baton to the young.

After contacting Minor and telling him about what happened, Gavin and I leave the hospital.

MC: Bro Liu worked so hard over the past two days. He must have really wanted to participate in tomorrow’s competition...

Gavin: In that case, we’ll work hard together with his effort. This is when the substitute steps in.

-

It’s the night before the competition, and I’m looking through the contents of the edited shoot over the past two days in my room.

After cutting the cornering training, I modify it into a slow-motion feature, then insert a few casual interactions between the team members as embellishments.

But no matter how I edit it, the clip is unable to convey the feelings I hoped it would.

I grab my hair in frustration, unwilling to accept my defeat. I locate the original video, watching it from the start.

The sound of the doorbell interrupts my slightly muddy train of thoughts. Opening the door, I see Gavin standing outside.

Gavin: I saw that the lights were still on in your room, so I came over to take a look. Why aren’t you sleeping?

MC: Gavin...

Hearing the gloominess in my tone, he takes my hand and pulls me over to sit down on the sofa.

Gavin: Filming didn’t go well?

Placing the notebook laptop between us, I play the recording.

MC: For this shoot, I wanted to edit it into a small unscripted story to showcase the competitiveness and fun of being a racer. As of now, the story aspect is going smoothly, and the interactions between people are interesting too. But I think it’s missing something which can grab one’s attention immediately...

Gavin looks at the screen and ponders for a moment. Then, he suddenly asks me a question.

Gavin: Want to go for a stroll? It’s too stuffy in the room. Getting some fresh air might give you new inspiration.

-

Likely to conserve energy for the competition tomorrow, everyone has returned to rest very early, and the racetrack is completely empty.

Gavin leaps onto the bleachers, then reaches out to me.

Gavin: Let’s go for a spin.

He takes my hand, guiding me onto the vehicle. Then, he puts on a helmet for me, teaching me how to grab the throttle and brakes.

MC: Gavin, are you sure this is okay?

Gavin: You can’t go onto the road, but we’re still within the venue. After filming for days, don’t you want to experience it yourself?

MC: I want to!

Gavin sits behind me, two arms securing me steadily in his arms.

Along with the familiar sound of the engine, the motorcycle moves. The speed is incredibly steady, and is just right for enjoying the pleasant evening breeze.

MC: Gavin, can we go a little faster?

Gavin: We can. Sit tight.

A loud roar drifts to my ears, and the motorcycle flies forward like an arrow leaving a bow.

Very soon, the most difficult part of the racetrack appears, comprising of consecutive bends. During the training sessions, many motorists faced many trials at this area.

Gavin grips my hand, loosening the throttle, causing the the motorcycle to slow down.

MC: There’s no need to step on the brakes?

Gavin: No need. Engine braking is enough to reduce the speed.

While speaking, the motorcycle tilts at an unbelievable angle at a turn. Gavin controls the direction with composure, air currents at the side keeping the motorcycle steady.

The motorcycle dangerously yet steadily completes the curved track, returning onto a straight track and picking up speed once again.

Gavin: MC, can you see where the cameras are? That’s the goal. On the racetrack, that’s the only thing in a racer’s eyes.

The sound of wind at my ears seems to quieten down. The moment we charge past the finishing line, I suddenly have a feeling that a full stop has been drawn on the racetrack.

Even after the motorcycle makes its gradual halt, I’m unable to return to my senses.

Seeming to understand my silence, Gavin doesn’t speak. He simply pushes the motorcycle that I'm on patiently, walking slowly.

MC: Gavin, I know what this story is missing. Stirring the emotions of viewers requires the most important thing which can make them seethe with excitement -

Gavin: Winning the championship.

MC: That’s right. All the effort from before is meant for the final sprint towards the goal. Winning the championship is the core of a competitive spirit, and is also what the show’s theme of “limit” is seeking after. But... Gavin, do you think we have a chance at winning the championship tomorrow?

Gavin: Yes. But while we’re improving, others are improving as well. Everyone on the racetrack will be aiming towards victory. The people you selected are very outstanding. Believe in them, and believe in yourself.

MC: Mm, everyone has already worked very hard. When it comes to winning, it’s good enough if they try their best.

Gavin parks the motorcycle properly, then carries me down from it.

Gavin: Go back and have a good sleep. You don’t have to worry too much about the competition tomorrow.

-

It’s finally time for the competition. Seeing the filled audience seats, I feel incredibly nervous.

Kelly: I didn't expect to see so many people.

MC: It’s a Sunday, and the club decided to open the venue to the public as publicity.

I take a deep breath to calm my emotions.

MC: Let’s enjoy the fun of racing to our heart’s content! Shall we do a pre-competition ceremony?

While speaking, I stretch out my hand. Gavin cooperates, placing his palm over the back of my hand. He gives it a gentle pinch, and it feels as though an endless stream of strength is being transmitted.

It’s a sense of security belonging only to Gavin.

MC: Safety first, the competition second. Everyone, all the best!

All the motorists have taken their places at the starting line. Based on prior suggestions by the club, I’ve arranged Kelly to take on the first battle, and Gavin will be the finale.

With the green light signalling the start of the competition, twenty motorcycles which have been waiting for action seem to sprint forward at the same time.

The sound of motor engines causes everyone’s adrenaline to spike, and the crowd becomes immersed in the competition.

I’m positioned closest to the audience seats. This is the first time I’m viewing a competition from such a close distance. Even though it’s an amateur competition, it’s sufficiently astounding.

Xiao Yu makes a few minor mistakes at the bends, causing the team to lag behind temporarily.

Carefully observing the changes on the racetrack, I don’t feel overly anxious.

Because it’d be Gavin’s turn next. With him around, I always feel exceptionally at ease.

I look at Gavin as he waits at the handover area with a helmet over his head. He seems to sense my gaze, and turns around to see my thumbs up.

In the next second, his motorcycle charges into the racetrack.

The blue and white motorcycle courses past the bends nimbly in almost “L” shape movements.

As compared to my experience last night, I can see Gavin’s cornering techniques even more clearly from the audience seats.

Although the camera is unable to capture his expression, it isn’t difficult to imagine his focused and bright eyes from underneath the helmet.

When the competition enters its final round, Gavin has already reached the second place, and there’s hardly any difference between him and the first competitor.

The audience’s emotions are stirred by this intense competition, and the sound of cheers surge forward like a tide.

I find myself being influenced as well, staring fixedly at that sprinting figure.

After the upcoming bend, the goal will not be far.

Unexpectedly, a motorcycle behind suddenly accelerates towards the bend, using its full strength to make a last effort.

However, the motorcycle tilts too much. It’s clear that the centre of gravity was not controlled properly, sending the motorist collapsing onto the track.

At this point, Gavin’s motorcycle is already over half of the bend. He controls the dip of the motorcycle, barely avoiding the fallen vehicle.

Because of this incident, some distance is pulled between himself and the motorist in first place.

On the straight road, Gavin’s motorcycle suddenly accelerates, keeping pace with the motorist in front.

In this moment, time seems to slow down. I hold my breath, feeling as though my spirit has become one with that sprinting figure.

The rustling of leaves, the flapping wings of birds, the yelling of the audience, the checkered flag waving mid-air... all of them gather into one voice-

Announcer: The first place goes to No. 07!

On the big screen, Gavin’s name is listed impressively at the top.

At the final moment, he attained first place with a 0.06 second difference, winning the championship.

Gavin did it!

The motorcycle comes to a gradual halt. Gavin removes his helmet, droplets of sweat reflecting bright rays of light beneath the sunlight.

The smile on his face is sparkling and dazzling, bringing with it the confidence belonging to a victor.

Such a result is both unexpected yet within my expectations.

Gavin turns around, looking squarely in my direction.

He shakes his head casually, which has gotten messy from his helmet, and says two words.

Gavin: We won.

-

The employees push the motorcycles back to the venue. Gavin heads over to the referee’s seat, lowers his head and says a few things before walking to me.

The gold medal in his hand dangles slightly, reflecting a dazzling light.

Cheers from the surroundings grow brighter as he draws closer. Separated by the bleachers, he stretches out his hand towards me -

He leans over the bleachers slightly. As he draws closer, I can detect the scent belonging only to Gavin.

Gavin hangs the medal around my neck, announcing our victory.

Gavin: The champion title - we’ve got it.

My mouth opens, but I have no idea what to say. My body reacts faster than my brain. I stretch out both arms, hugging him with all the strength in my body.

Scorching warmth and the dampness of sweat from the competition linger on him.

Gavin returns the embrace. It’s as though this hug is enough for us to understand each other’s sentiments.

Gavin: I think I heard you cheering me on.

MC: I did it so softly, but you could hear it?

Gavin: Mm, the wind told me. Everything you say - I can hear them.

MC: There’s still one thing the wind hasn’t had the time to tell you. I’ll say it myself right now.

Turning my face to the side, I bring it close to his ear.

MC: Gavin, you’ll always be the only champion in my heart.

🏍 Call and Moments: here

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[tartagilicious]

sun and moon > xiao

happy (late-ish) valentine’s day yall! thank you, mihoyo, for once again reminding me that i’m easily attached to emotionally unavailable pretty boys. the "I hate everyone but you" trope is real here, I wanna be his friend and gain his trust like this is a mf otome game. to anyone still pulling for him, good luck~ don’t worry, you have a little bit more time and more free rewards are also on the way!! have some soft xiao for good luck >:D // w.c 1.9k // not a request 

also a big ty to @seerie​ for being my beta reader, bc I don’t know what I’m doing 🥴

summer sky by asking for a friend

You hiss softly as Xiao runs a damp cloth over the gash adorning the length of your cheekbone, face scrunching as his eyes narrow in concentration. It feels somehow wrong to have him taking care of you, much less sitting in front of you and dressing your wounds himself.

A majority of the bleeding had stopped not long ago, but there's still another fear that plagues you more -- your agreement with the yaksha adeptus, or rather contract, specifically trying to combat injuries on your behalf.

You aren’t sure if chickening out on calling him in the midst of the situation you were hurt is grounds for breaking the contract somehow, though either way, Xiao has always seemed to be quite serious regarding his promises. You remember his first and only instructions to you weeks ago being clear and concise,

“If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name; adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”

Surely a small wound like this wasn’t serious enough?

Xiao pulls the fabric away from your face and silently notes what must be the mess of blood covering it, lips turning up in a grimace. His standards of emergency are usually as one would expect, though lately for whatever reason, even the smallest of your wounds tend to put him in a bad mood.

From such a standoffish person, it’s a bit hard to get used to or understand -- but a part of you is only happy to know that there’s a chance he might care more than he lets on.

“...The abyss mages, they just came out of nowhere,” You try to explain but the silence is deafening. Eyes downcast to the stool beneath your legs, you mumble, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Xiao doesn’t give any more of a reaction than an arched brow and a slight gesture with the gruesomely dyed cloth. You half expect him to be irritated; to give you a lecture on keeping an eye on your surroundings or to take better care of yourself, but he doesn’t. Instead, he looks away and shakes his head, spiking your nerves with a low sigh.

He looks back at you as he rests his elbow on his knee and thrusts out the cloth again, almost in exasperation. “Why didn’t you call my name?”

You feel the blood drain from your face as the words leave his mouth, and suddenly, you’re terrified to answer honestly. As already long-established, Xiao is someone who despite thousands of years of trauma, remains as hard as the rock of the nation he watches over. Compared to his lifespan, you’re relatively immature, so the last thing you want is to give an embarrassing reason to make him think that you suddenly don’t trust him enough to help.

“I-I don’t know,” You stutter and curse pitifully inside your head as you return his eye contact. “But I can’t just call you every time I’m in trouble, especially when I think I can deal with it myself, right?”

He scoffs as if you’ve just said the most ridiculous thing.

“This shouldn’t have to be a discussion. Your capabilities don’t lack anything, but your hesitation may very well be the death of you.”

“I never hesitated,” Though your voice is more steadfast, any illusion of confidence is shattered by the way you fidget with your hands. “I only misjudged. I make mistakes sometimes, but I think you forget that I’ll heal even after the worst of these injuries.”

Xiao sighs and crumples the bloodstained cloth in the palm of his hand, caging himself in his arms before speaking again -- just as he always does.

“Don’t be outrageous, I haven’t forgotten anything.” He averts his gaze and for a moment, you swear that you notice the tips of his ears flush. “It’s only ignorant to assume that I want to see you injured.”

Your brows knit as a similar knot slides down your throat. “I just, I just don’t get why you’re so worried about it.”

He stares at you, once again, as if you’ve just said something completely outlandish -- as if it wasn’t as hard to tell what he was thinking beneath such a guarded personality as you made it out to be.

“What?” You ask, slightly exasperated as you sit up straighter. You had still been sitting as if he were cleaning your wounds. “Is that not a valid question? It seems like you want nothing to do with anyone, but then turn around and worry when I’m hurt?”

“How could you do that and still not know why I hesitate to call for you?” Exasperated, you exhale and shut your eyes for a moment, deliberately avoid seeing his reaction to these words.

“...All I mean, is that sometimes it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking -- I feel like I’m bothering you, even if it might be in a situation where I really do need you.”

For a moment, Xiao is blatantly surprised by your reason for not upholding the contract you’d made. It almost gives you the impression that in your spiel, you’ve said something completely idiotic. A gradual flush of embarrassment flares up beneath your skin, but thankfully, you contain yourself before you have the chance to blurt out anything you’d regret.

His lips twist ever so slightly, as if he’s combing through things to respond with in his head. Obviously a bit flustered to hear your reasoning, it’s odd to see him in such a way, albeit while somehow remaining so uniquely him

“You… really are incomprehensible.”

Turning his head to shield his expression, he discards the cloth by tossing it in a nearby basket and stands. Your eyes follow him up until his own turn back towards you, golden irises glinting with a sort of hesitant concentration. You blink.

“If you trust me enough to enter a contract where i very well might decide between your life and death, do well and also trust me as someone who doesn’t break their promises.” Xiao’s brows fold delicately, as if mulling over the words coming out of hisin real time. “___, I don’t want to see you hurt like this.”

Your heartbeat briefly stutters, lips opening and closing as if to say something even when no thoughts are formed. Eyes trailing back down to your hands, you let out a small sigh. Before you can say anything, though, a gloved hand takes your chin and gently guides your eyes back upwards.

“So don’t hesitate.” His touch is soft as he maintains comfortable eye contact with you despite the straight-forward words. “I won’t allow you to die because of me.”

Blood pumps wildly through your ears as you suck in a breath of apprehension. As hard as you try to break away your gaze, something in his face keeps you anchored even when your chest begins to seize; a face that has been hardened over a millenia of suffering stares back at you with the improper care of a hopeful innocent, as if you are something that is worthwhile in the purest sense.

You swallow, Xiao’s hand’s position above your throat making it painfully obvious to him how caught off guard you are. Though naturally, if this action of yours makes him falter at all, he does so unnoticeably.

“I won’t,” It’s said slowly, as if you can’t comprehend what exactly you’re saying just yet. “You said I don’t lack anything, but in the moments I do--”

Your lips rest parted as anxiety cuts off the last part of your sentence, but Xiao’s patient expression pushes you forward.

“...I trust you to help me.”

Those words echo in his mind for a moment, ricocheting and hitting even the most unfamiliar parts of himself that he’d long buried. Feelings and memories that have since collected cobwebs begin to resurface and remind him of a more simple time he treasures dearly.

Trust.

Xiao’s thumb ghosts over your jaw, slowly wiping across the skin as he’s propelled deeply into thought -- fortunately too much so to notice the rising pigment on your cheeks.

He himself places his trust in people far and few. You might be different, well acquainted to human customs and the world around you, yet those words from you somehow feel just as special as if the roles are reversed. Your honesty and courage to accompany him has always dug at the cavity in his chest, but to hear you voice the metaphorical fruit of your labour so clearly is an entirely different sense.

All this time he’d blindly protected you, warned you about monsters lurking in the darkness, he’d fallen too far to even realise that you were beginning to change him. He no longer ate alone, nor did he adventure or sleep as he once did -- you had stuck onto him like a stubborn thorn despite, in your words, tending to feel as if you were bothering him. Regardless, he had somehow still earned your valuable companionship, and with it, commendable words that he could accept from you alone.

But there were times where he despised feeling such a way. He battled over the reasons he felt so inflicted when it was you who was injured, or you who chose to stick by him even after he tried so desperately to push you away. It was frustrating, dealing with a gentle care so foreign. Once he was used to your considerate nature, though, it became a different story.

Seeing you hurt began to shift from an expectable casualty to a blow to his own chest.

“...Xiao,” Your voice is hesitantly quiet, and suddenly, his eyes come back into focus. You’re staring at him with hesitant concern, setting his heart abuzz. “Are you okay?”

It’s when you reach up to wrap your hand around his that his mind finally completes his thought.

I love her.

As an Adeptus, he’s lived thousands of lives and outlived many more, and has taken the role of slaughterer before protector throughout many of them. In a way, the latter ways of his previous life have been ingrained him, regardless of those he manages to save in the more current centuries.

He imagines the figures of the spirits of those he’d wronged watching him in this moment, screaming a sound of contempt that he would never hear. They’re right to do so. They have no reason to pray for his happiness, much like he has little reason to pray for forgiveness.

Yet looking down at you, for the first time in a long time, none of that seems to matter.

With little thought, he grips your hand a bit tighter before letting go, his own hand travelling the length of your jaw to bring himself down to you. You remain completely still as he places a gentle kiss above your brow bone, breath hitching.

“I’m okay.” He reassures you quietly, resting there for a moment and sighing a small gust of air onto your skin. You mumble his name softly, hand reaching out to grab a hold of his shirt. The thin layer between your skin and his sends a sudden shiver down his spine, but regardless, he hums in response.

Your voice comes out in a whisper. “Are you sure?”

He nods, for the first time completely certain.

[chudleycanonficfest]

Nobody Compares

Day 22, Story #1 is by @arianatwycross

Title: Nobody compares Author/Artist: arianatwycross.tumblr.com Pairing: Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger Prompt: In Vino Veritas (under the influence) Rating: T Trigger Warning(s) (if any): n/a

Hermione admits to kissing Ron, brags about him to Sarah and her friends. They don’t believe her because she’s acting so out of character.

Ron comes up from behind her and kisses her neck. 

Her friends gasp loudly and she smiles at their shocked expressions. She doesn’t give them time to question her properly, instead she spins around and places her  hands on his chest. 

He’s smiling down at her, his eyes a little glassy from the alcohol. He bends down to whisper something in her ear and Hermione can’t help but bite her lip and nod back. 

Hermione wasn’t surprised that Ron got signed young. He had the sort of edge a football player needs in the modern world, the passion to do more while simultaneously keeping a smart head, his humour, his witty but sensible remarks about teammates and competitors. She wasn’t surprised when he got picked for the first team, the team he grew up supporting, watching on TV and following in magazines. 

She was surprised however, at how easily it was for them to drift apart. She always thought that they would be able to overcome issues like time zones and schedules, but she was wrong. Hermione graduated University with a first in Law, and was on her way to study her Master’s in London and Ron was upping his training and committing to the first team at Manchester United. 

At the beginning they emailed and texted frequently, while Hermione was still settling into her Bachelor’s degree and Ron was still playing for the Under 23’s. But in Hermione’s second year, her course load increased and she had barely had time to even watch a single tv show. Ron tried his best to see her on his weekends off, but in the end Hermione convinced him it wasn’t worth it. The conversations over email and phone started to dwindle to monthly, then every few months and then finally they stopped altogether. 

Hermione did mourn their friendship for a long time. She blamed herself mostly, she knew she was the one that had a bit more freedom to call him when she could. Ron was too busy dealing with training schedules and away games to think about calling his best friend from secondary school. 

It had been four years since she had seen Ron. She still thought about him at times, how could she not when he was one of the most famous football players in the country? Sometimes she saw him in the sports section of the newspaper or saw him on the TV. She was a self-proclaimed Manchester United fan and so she saw him play every game on the TV. Her friends had no idea they were best friends just a few years ago, they had no idea that he was Hermione’s first love. No one knew that, not even Ron. 

So when she walked into the pub down the street one Friday night, and found him standing at the bar she froze. Every muscle in her body just stopped, only her heart thumped heavily in her chest. There he was, back leaning against the bar, red hair still cut short, shoulders a little bit broader, arms definitely more toned, the same cheeky grin plastered on his face. Her heart flipped and cracked all at the same time. 

She hadn’t seen him for four years and on a random Friday night she runs into him? She quickly looked at Sarah next to her, glaring at her as if she had planned this. Sarah of course, did not. Sarah had no idea that Hermione was friends with the famous Ron Weasley. 

“Oh my god, is that Ron Weasley? Doesn’t he play for Man U Hermione? You support them don’t you?” 

Hermione just stared at Ron, her eyes drinking in the mannerisms she hadn’t seen in years. The cross of his arms across his body, the tilt of his smirk as he listened to his mates next to him. 

“Hermione?’ 

“Right, yeah that’s him” 

“Shall we say hello?” 

“No!” Hermione quickly interjects and steers Sarah away from the bar and towards a booth on the opposite side. She can still see him from where she sits but he can’t see her without turning around. 

Sarah gives Hermione a bewildered look. 

“Bit of a fangirl are we?” Sarah asks. 

Sarah works with Hermione, the two of them only just starting to hang out outside of work. She doesn’t know much about the smart solicitor yet, just that Sarah has a boyfriend that works at the bank and that she enjoys a large glass of pinot noir a bit too much. 

She’s nice, and smart and the two of them get along really well. But Hermione wasn’t about to go blab about how the man at the bar was the love of her life between the ages of 15-21. 

“No, just I’m way too awkward to say hello” She mutters, “Shall I grab us some drinks?” 

Sarah nods and rattles off her order. Hermione makes sure she goes to the furthest side of the bar to where Ron leans. He’s still looking in the opposite direction so she calms down a little, lets her muscles relax and breathes steadier so her heart doesn’t go into overdrive. 

She orders her drinks and while she waits she watches Ron. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans. She watches the smooth muscles in his back tense as he talks, he’s still as mesmerizing as the day she last saw him. 

She drinks another three glasses of wine before Sarah calls the rest of her friends, begging for them to join them at the pub. The pub has grown loud and rowdy, the drinks have been flowing and the heat has made everyone boisterous and excitable.  Ron has relocated to a table with his mates, a pint in his hand, the group of them laughing loudly and Hermione feels herself being pulled towards him. 

Sarah waits at the table for their friends while Hermione goes to order them another round. The alcohol is now freely flowing in her veins, so she doesn’t realise who’s next to her before it’s too late. He stands tall, his elbows resting on the sticky bar. She tenses, her entire body feels inflamed. 

“Mione?”

She might just cry. 

She looks up and finds Ron staring at her in shock. His blue eyes wide and his mouth wide open. She laughs. 

“Hey” she replies, smiling at him. 

Ron instantly smiles back and before she knows it he’s grabbing her into a hug and engulfing her with his scent. 

He smells exactly the same, she thinks. 

“Fucking hell, I can’t believe its you!” he says, pulling back and cupping her face with his large palms. 

She freezes at such an intimate touch but he doesn’t seem to realise. 

“You look good” she says, watching as his eyes also scanned her face. 

“You look stunning” he replies openly, making Hermione laugh again. He drops his hands. 

“How long has it been?” he asks. He’s shaking his head now, still in shock at seeing her. 

“Four years?” 

“Fucking hell, I’ve missed you” he says quietly. 

“Yeah, I’ve missed you too” 

They smile at each other. Hermione grabs the wine glass in front of her as the bartender makes Sarah’s drink. Her entire body is shaking. 

“Are you here with someone?” he asks. 

She points out Sarah, who is now sitting with three other girls. Girls that Hermione hardly knows. 

“Sarah, I work with her. It looks like her friends just showed up” Hermione gives Ron a tight smile.

“Oh well do you have time to chat?” 

“Yeah, let me just give this to Sarah and let her know” she holds up Sarah’s wine glass and Ron gives her a smile. Such a familiar smile that Hermione can’t help but smile back, her jaw hurts already. 

She walks over to the table, tells Sarah that she’s just bumped into an old friend and will be back soon. Sarah’s friends greet Hermione kindly but don’t complain. 

Then Hermione finds herself sitting at a table in the corner of the pub with Ron Weasley. 

She can’t quite believe it. She’s 24 and sitting across a table with her childhood best friend. He looks exactly the same but completely different. She feels exactly the same as she usually does when with him. The old feelings are bubbling up and overwhelming her. How can feelings from four years ago still be so strong?

They end up chatting for hours, the drinks fueling her excitement at seeing him, the alcohol probably fueling another type of feeling that she probably shouldn’t encourage. They talk about their families, their friends, football and her job.  She’s giggling and laughing and then Ron’s telling her he’s sorry. 

“I’m so sorry we feel out of touch. I still think about you all the time” he admits. He’s been drinking beers and she can tell he’s slightly tipsy by the redness of his cheeks. 

“Me too, I guess life just happened”  she murmurs. 

He nods sullenly. 

“I watch all of your games” she admits bravely. She blames the wine, she’s never normally this forward. 

“You do?” 

“Of course I do,” she smiles at his bewildered look. His blue eyes wide and searching hers for the catch. 

“You’re great” 

He laughs modestly. 

“I ask my mum about you every time I go home” he admits and she blushes furiously. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, that’s probably embarrassing but I think I’ve drunk too much to care.” He laughs and she laughs with him. His laugh is so contagious and familiar, a warmth that she had never found in anyone else.

“I’ve heard all about your big job in the city and your nice apartment,” he admits. 

“My mum still talks to your mum so I guess I’m not surprised. Does she also tell your mum that I haven’t had a proper boyfriend in years and that I need to get a move on?” she laughs. 

Ron smiles tightly and she watches as his eyes scan her face and settle on her lips.

“So still no boyfriend?” 

“Nope. What about you? Have you found a hot model to marry yet?” 

He screws his nose up and Hermione laughs. 

“No way, models are too much trouble. But no, no girlfriend. I was seeing a girl last year but it didn’t work out” 

Hermione’s heart flips. She doesn’t want to imagine Ron with another girl, falling in love with another girl.

“That’s a shame” she mutters, hands grasping the stem of the cool wine glass. 

“Not really” 

She looks up and finds him staring down into his beer. 

“Why?” 

He ignores her question and instead looks at her, catching her eyes with his. 

“Do you think everyone has that one person they compare everyone to?” 

The question surprises her, so much that she opens her mouth to answer but finds that she has nothing to say. Or at least, the words don’t seem to form. Instead she can only say one word. 

“Who?” 

His eyes widen but he looks down at the table and smiles. 

“Well, you of course” 

Hermione feels like she’s dreaming, like the alcohol running through her body has numbed her and she is just playing out a fantastic scenario in her drunken brain. 

“What?” she gulps. 

Ron nods as if he’s agreeing to something in his head. 

“You were my best friend and you’re gorgeous, of course I fancied you” they don’t break their eye contact, it seems too important, too life-changing of a conversation to not look at each other. 

“No you didn’t!” she scoffs, thinking of an 18-year old Ron fancying smart-ass, frizzy-haired Hermione. 

“Oh come on Mione! You’re beautiful, smart and funny! I was always flirting with you!” 

She tries to remember a time when he might have been flirting but she can’t, all she can remember is her 18 year old self watching him play football, the way he moved when he sprinted, his laugh when he scored, the way he hugged her when they celebrated. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she gulps. 

“You just got into Uni and you needed to focus. You were always stressing about how important your first year was and then when I called you, I felt like I was distracting you and I knew how important it all was for you so I just stopped calling” he had his hands running through his hair now, settling on his neck and squeezing. 

It was too much for her, to think that she was the reason Ron stopped talking to her. All she could think about was disappointing him, choosing her degree over his friendship, over something more. She stood up frantically and mumbled something about needing air. She heard Ron say something as she walked off but the air was suffocating her, the crowds were too much, the alcohol was making her feel slightly nauseous. 

She shoved open the front door to the pub and pushed through the small crowd out the front. She found a quiet corner near the car park, gulped in the fresh summer air and breathed. 

She couldn’t believe that Ron had fancied her this whole time, that he wanted to talk to her and that he didn’t just feel obliged to talk to her after school. He liked her and she liked him. She spent years watching him play football, happy that he had moved on, trying not to think about the time they had missed. 

“Mione?” 

Hermione looked up to find Ron standing idly a few meters ahead of her. 

“Ron,” she sighed. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

She didn’t consciously walk towards him, it just happened, like the sight of him spurred something in her , made her gravitate towards him. She was inches from him when she stopped and she looked up, her heart warming at the familiar blue eyes and the freckles on his cheeks. So familiar and so him. 

“I missed you so much” is all she can say, and she feels her heart filling at the way he smiles back at her. 

“I missed you too” 

“I’m probably a little drunk but can I kiss you?” she says, the words tumbling from her mouth before she can catch them and swallow them whole. 

He smiles brightly and takes her jaw in his hands, his palms back to where they belong. 

He leans down and kisses her deeply. His lips are soft beneath hers. She wraps her hands around his neck and her fingers lace between his hair, something she had only dreamt of doing. 

She tugs at his hair and he responds by slipping his tongue into her mouth, she moans as their tongues tangle and their breaths deepen. She’s feeling dizzy and she knows it’s not from the wine, it’s from being this close to Ron. It’s from all the pent up feelings she’s had buried for years, for the disappointment she had felt, the deep sadness from him not being in her life. 

They pull apart and Ron kisses the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her cheek. 

“Mione?” 

“Yeah?” she murmurs, still breathless. 

“Please tell me you have time to see me” 

The desperation in his voice breaks her, she grabs his face and kisses him fiercely. 

“Ron, I’m not letting you go this time” 

He smiles as he kisses her this time, and they laugh in between kisses. 

He asks if he can take her home and she delightfully finds out that he lives nearby, just a 20 minute walk from her own house. He explains that he’s actually been transferred to Arsenal and he moved to London just a few weeks ago. He seems happy about the change and Hermione can’t help but grin proudly as he tells her about the transfer and his new apartment. She feels like this is all too good to be true, that he’s now close by, he’s here and with her. 

She goes back inside the pub to say goodbye to Sarah, he pulls her in for another kiss before they enter the pub. He also says goodbye to his mates and she feels feverish as she wanders over to the crowded table. Sarah squeals when she appears and Hermione notes how intoxicated everyone is and smiles. Sarah’s friend, Ashleigh asks if Hermione knows Ron Weasley and Hermione nods, not stopping the huge smile that graces her face when she hears his name. Sarah squeals again at Hermione’s blush and Hermione ends up gushing when Sarah asks if they snogged. 

She revels in the faces of Sarah and her friends when Ron kisses her neck, and she lets his lips spread heat over her entire body. 

“We have a lot of catching up to do Miss Granger.”