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literatemisfit · 9 months

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Hi! I don’t have a subscription so I can’t read this full article you posted.

https://www.tumblr.com/literatemisfit/720928934490980352/david-tennant-on-his-wife-georgias-cancer-scare

Could you possibly give a summary or copy/paste what it says (if you’re comfortable with it)? Especially that last part you mentioned as being especially sweet?

Somehow when I went to open it I also got stuck behind a paywall so they must have added one. But I was able to use incognito mode and get access to it anyway. I've copy pasted the entire thing for you so you can see what I mean by sweet ;)

See below:

Georgia Tennant is recalling the moment, at the start of the pandemic, when she realised she was going to be locked down with her husband. ‘David was supposed to be filming in South Africa,’ explains the 38-year-old actor and producer. ‘But then there was a series of phone calls, South Africa shut down, and he turned to me and said: “I’m not going back”.’

Georgia and I share a look that speaks volumes: about the slo-mo dawning experienced by wives all over the world when it became clear they would be trapped with the man they’d promised to love and cherish – but not, crucially, have lunch with every day for weeks on end. About what became more like the premise of a twisted reality TV show when those weeks turned into months

‘I remember having this sudden realisation…’ Glancing at her Scottish stage and screen star husband, Georgia pauses, blue eyes wide, and at this point I’m already smiling because I think I know what’s coming. ‘That, oh my gosh, David’s just going to be here, the whole time.’ I nod compassionately. ‘Which obviously I’d never had before.’ Another nod. We’ve all been there.

‘And just thinking: that’s really exciting!’

Oh… It’s a needle-across-vinyl moment and I stop mid-nod and stare. Georgia and I are not on the same page. In fact, she seems to be reading an entirely different book: this wife can’t think of anything nicer than being holed up with her husband of 12 years.

‘We just really like each other,’ she says once all three of us have stopped laughing. ‘Even now, we like hanging out with each other more than we like hanging out with anyone else.’ Some might say that’s a pretty good basis for a marriage. ‘Exactly. And when all the kids are around it’s like a commune here, which I love.’

With a semi-apologetic shrug the 52-year-old Doctor Who and Broadchurch star confirms, ‘It’s true.’ There’s no way around it: he too just really likes his wife. ‘In fact, the more time we spend together the more we get on,’ he says. And although I’m not sure I can deal with any more bombshell revelations so early on in an interview, this is probably just as well. Because the Tennants didn’t just end up marooned on the couch together for the duration of the pandemic – with their five children, Ty, 21, Olive, 12, Wilfred, 10, Doris, seven, and Birdie, three – but filming a lockdown TV comedy series, Staged, which became the surprise summer comedy hit of 2020.

The whimsical meta sitcom follows David’s fractious friendship with Welsh actor Michael Sheen as they plan various ill-fated ventures from either side of the world on Zoom. Only this isn’t reality TV, but a hammed-up version. Its two actors forever making a drama out of a crisis, as their partners watch, bemused, occasionally stepping in when things get out of hand.

Georgia and Swedish actress Anna Lundberg’s attitude is probably best described by the bumper sticker quote: ‘Behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes’, and audiences liked them so much that their roles get progressively bigger with each series.

Amazingly, Staged outlived the pandemic premise it was built on and I’m here today, in a sleek home office at the back of the couple’s west London home, to talk about the third and final series, which is currently airing on BBC One. Having spent the past 24 hours binge-watching six episodes of the show, I’m slightly thrown by how dialled-down the real David and Georgia are compared with their on-screen personas. He’s far less wild-haired and neurotic in real life – perhaps in part because after a trip to the dental hygienist this morning, he’s not yet been allowed his coffee – and she’s just as beautiful, with the same poise she maintains throughout Staged, but more amused than exasperated, today, by her man.

‘This wasn’t our first project together,’ David reminds me when I ask whether working on the show together over three years didn’t tip this perfect partnership over the edge. ‘After all, Georgia and I did meet on set.’

It’s true that it was while he was playing the Tenth Doctor in 2008 that he met his future wife, who was cast as his genetically engineered daughter in the BBC show. Does Georgia still get endless joy from that? ‘Oh, I’ve had 15 years of joy from that,’ she flings back. ‘Of course, I was already 900 years old at the time,’ David deadpans.

After the Doctor Who years, the pair went on to co-star in the 2017 film, You, Me and Him, which Georgia also produced. Still, when it came to filming Staged, he got ‘incredibly nervous’, he admits. ‘I think we were quite anxious about what that would… do, weren’t we?’

His wife murmurs her agreement, although like her Staged character she seems serene and in control and it’s easy to imagine her talking David down from various ledges in daily life.

For all their harmony, they seem quite different. Certainly, they come from different backgrounds. As the daughter of actors Peter Davison and Sandra Dickinson, Georgia was born into the profession, making her debut at 15 in ITV’s Peak Practice, before going on to appear in shows such as Where the Heart Is, Like Father Like Son and The Last Detective.

Bathgate-born David, meanwhile, is the son of a Presbyterian church minister, who attended the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama and established himself with the Royal Shakespeare Company and National Theatre early on. After winning the game-changing role of Doctor Who at 34, he has continued to demonstrate his versatility as an actor, flitting from hard-hitting TV dramas like Des in 2020 (playing serial killer Dennis Nilsen) and Litvinenko in 2022 (as the former Russian spy) to playing a demon in Amazon’s ongoing fantasy series Good Omens. Then there’s his stage work: the recent West End play Good, in which he played a professor drawn into Nazism, and a forthcoming stint as Macbeth at London’s Donmar Warehouse in December.

Despite his success, the actor has suffered from acute anxiety ever since he was a boy, fretting about everything from ‘not being good enough’ and ‘being found out’ (as he told one interviewer in 2019) to the loss of anonymity he knew he’d experience back in 2005, when he was cast as a TV hero he’d idolised from the age of three. ‘Because with a show like Doctor Who,’ he tells me, ‘it’s on a different scale.’

As anyone who suffers from anxiety knows, the primary, all-consuming worry is that everything ‘probably will go wrong’ at any given moment. In 2018 something did go very wrong when Georgia was diagnosed with cervical cancer – something she shared in her blog, despite usually being a private person. ‘I thought it was easier than having to phone everyone and tell them,’ she explains today.

‘It was a very weird experience,’ muses David. ‘Because we found out the bad news after it had been dealt with, so we had the relief at the same time as the horror.’

Following an abnormal smear test result, Georgia had a biopsy and a cervical excision to remove the tissue causing concern. It was only after that procedure that test results showed the cells had been cancerous. David pauses, looking at his wife. ‘At least we were spared the prospect of living with, “You’ve got this, and can it be caught?” But I still have these flashbacks of “What if you hadn’t…?”’ He shakes his head. ‘I don’t think I acknowledged at the time how serious it could have been.’

The couple were too busy ‘just dealing with each stage’, David goes on. ‘The slightly funky test and then going in and having the biopsy.’

‘But I did make you answer the phone, when we were waiting to hear [the results],’ Georgia cuts in. ‘I obviously knew there was going to be something, so David got the news first: that it was bad but that they’d got rid of it. And then he made me get on the phone so that I could hear it from the doctor myself, because he knew that was something I needed to do.’

Afterwards, ‘both of us were just numb,’ David murmurs. ‘It was such a Sliding Doors moment. Even a few months later it could have been too late.’

‘Which is why now,’ Georgia concludes wryly, ‘I’ll tell everyone with a cervix: go and get yourself checked.’

With the couple’s eldest son Ty now a successful actor – having starred in the TV series War of the Worlds and HBO’s House of the Dragon – and Olive, then 10, making her big-screen debut in Kenneth Branagh’s Oscar-winning film Belfast, two years ago, I’m curious to know how they both feel about their brood following in their footsteps? ‘I just want them to be happy and to be able to survive in the world,’ Georgia says. ‘So if acting is what they want to do…’

It helps that the industry feels fairer now in almost every way, they believe, and we segue into a discussion about inclusivity and ‘real representation’ in acting – meaning, for example, that only LGBTQ actors should play LGBTQ roles. Until we’re all caught up, David maintains, ‘you have to protect those spaces for actors who come from those communities’.

It also helps that the industry is a safer place for women now than it was 10 years ago, says Georgia. ‘Because it

definitely is,’ she adds. ‘Things happened to me when I was younger that I now realise were not great, but at the time I thought it was all part of it – that I had to laugh them off. I’m talking about situations that made me feel uncomfortable,’ she explains. ‘Now I would be able to say so, but at the time the dialogue just wasn’t there. And I don’t think any of our kids would have to feel like that now. Even if they did, they would have the words and the people behind them to say: “that’s not OK”.’

David is currently filming the Disney+ series Rivals, based on Jilly Cooper’s famous bonkbuster, he tells me. ‘And there’s an “intimacy co-ordinator” on that because there’s quite a lot of shagging, so everyone’s being very appropriate and careful.’

But doesn’t it feel strange having your sex scenes ‘co-ordinated’? ‘Oh, it’s ludicrous.’ He grins. ‘Because it means you’re making the most intimate, private moments very compartmentalised and that there’s someone there asking the embarrassing questions nobody did historically – but that’s because you’re not doing these things with your actual partner. So that’s another thing that has got better over the years.’ He tilts his head to one side, narrows his eyes: ‘That said, there are still lots of reasons not to become an actor.’

This seems as good a place to end as any, and as the Tennants take me back through the garden to a side gate, Georgia tells her husband she’s ‘going for a manicure – and you have to come with me’. When I leave they’re still bickering gently, with David asking: ‘Why do I have to come?’ I don’t catch his wife’s reply, but I suspect it’s just because she really likes him.

#david tennant #georgia tennant #interview

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enam3l · 1 year

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love, lola / the prequel III / november 6th 1983 (5.5k)

In the Upside Down you spotted something strange and realised you weren't sure what you were doing when Will went missing on November 6th 1983... but Eddie does. (chapter one reference)

And now in August 1986, you're starting to feel a sense of deja vu. (chapter eight reference)

So what happened on the night that you don't really recall?

a/n: happy ending eventually, slow burn, will they won't they, a lil angsty but never mean eddie! tw: alcohol use

to be read after chapter eight.

series masterlist / follow #enam3l love lola for instant updates / my other work / now available to read on AO3!

comment for tag list. requests open for prequel stories.

Eddie Munson does not want to get out of bed. It had been an arduously long day at school, senior year freaking sucks and to top it all off, you have a boyfriend. What makes it more infuriating is that he's cool.

Previously, any boy you'd been associated with had been a halfwit jock or the occasional artistic overachiever but Sean was different. Before, Eddie could attempt to put a plaster over his broken heart by telling himself I'm just not her type, there's nothing I can do about it but Sean was just a cooler, older version of himself. Now you were both eighteen, the realisation at fifteen that he was in love with you, was really starting to destroy Eddie. With age, hormones and overall increased maturity, he truly began to understand the scope of his feelings. No longer could they be brushed off and no longer could he fool himself into believing one day they might be reciprocated. That dream became more out of the question as he watched you date and grow. It was clearer now, more than ever that you were going places and in true Munson tradition, Eddie was not.

So it was a real punch in the gut when Sean came along. He'd graduated from another nearby high school the year before, you'd both crossed him at parties, once or twice at The Hideout. Eddie had always thought out of all the usual asshats in Hawkins, Sean looked like he probably had something in common with him. Then, in September, you and Eddie had gone to a new record store in town, only to find Sean behind the counter. He had a crop of dirty blonde curls and light stubble, a mass of tattoos (far more than Eddie could afford), a leather jacket and a motorbike (worth triple the price of the van). Yes, Sean was an older, bigger and better Eddie and the second you walked through the door, he had his eye on you. You left with his number and a free record, Eddie left with a crushed heart and the need to hurl.

Since then, he now has to hear you everyday talk about all the adventures with Sean that previously, you'd have done with Eddie. You hadn't completely ditched him, no, you would never which is some ways was harder. Because now when you hung out, Eddie could sometimes still smell Sean's aftershave on you. Sometimes, when you'd rest your head in his lap, Eddie could see the marks Sean had left on your neck, claiming you as his own. Too many physical reminders that you didn't belong to Eddie and of what he'd never be able to do to you.

Therefore, that's why he finds himself curled up in his bed at only seven at night. Sulking from watching you be marvellous all day and then reminding him you'd be going home with someone else. Despite it only being the sixth of November, it's already bitterly cold and windy, marching how Eddie feels inside. He just wants to sleep and feel sorry for himself, maybe dream of a reality where you are lying there with him. But that can't happen because the phone will not stop fucking ringing. Wayne is working nights so can't even answer for him. Usually it's just a sales call or someone trying to collect a debt but this is now their fourth attempt at ringing. Groaning at life's ability to be endlessly infuriating, Eddie rolls out of bed and trudges to the phone.

'Ugh, what?' Eddie snarks, the Munson residence is not know for its phone etiquette.

'Fuck, finally! This Eddie?' A man's voice sighs in relief.

'Um, yeah? Who's this?' he asks confused.

'Oh shit, thank god. It's Carl from The Hideout. Look man, I'm sorry to call randomly but I need you to come down here. Got a situation...'

Eddie's eyebrow raises, totally baffled. Why the fuck is Carl from The Hideout calling and what does he need me of all people to deal with?

'Oh right, hey... 'sup?'

There's a fumbling over the line, as if Carl is trying to juggle tasks whilst balancing the phone. Then a bleary voice crackles through.

'Tell that boy t'get his fuckin' ass s'over here, s'its a party!'

The hair on his neck prickles, that's a voice Eddie would recognise anywhere.

'Yeah, I don't know if you can hear that man but your girls here and she's fuckin wasted. I didn't wanna call Hop on her and her Gran scares the shit out me but she said you're who to call. Can you get here?'

Carl barely finishes the sentence before Eddie has agreed, grabbed his jacket, keys and shoved his feet into his sneakers. The weather is starting to look lethal but he is speeding more so than usual. He'd have walked over Legos to come rescue you. As much as his heart is swelling that you asked for him, it's sinking wondering why you're hammered on a Tuesday evening. Where the fuck is Sean? he thinks to himself as the van skids in front of the bar.

'Jesus Christ...' is all Eddie can muster when he enters The Hideout and takes in the scene before him. La Isla Bonita by Madonna blares from the jukebox. A bewildered Carl stands behind the bar, head in his hands. The rest of the place is more or less empty beside a few regulars who come rain or shine. There's one local in particular, who is currently enjoying spinning around with you on the unofficial dance floor. A dangerously tempting black satin dress swishes perfectly with every roll of your hips. Your hair that was clearly one perfectly done is now a little wild and your slurring giggles can be heard even over the music. She's absolutely trashed, Eddie thinks, eyes wide at the scene before him. He storms over, stepping into his least used character - the responsible adult. Your recklessness in wearing that sinful dress, getting wasted and dancing with old men on your own has his blood boiling.

Standing only a few meters away, Eddie stands unnoticed, hands on his hips like a disapproving mother. His voice booms over the music, calling you by your full name and causing everyone in the room to freeze and turn to him. Your dancing partner drops your arms as if they were suddenly made of hot coals and finally you notice Eddie's arrival. Despite the serious tone in his voice and overall awkward mood in the bar, you beam. Heeled boots clicking on the wooden floor as you skip over and hurl yourself at him. Arms tight round his neck as your drunkly squeal into his skin,

'Teddy! You're here!'

Eddie is so overwhelmed by the feelings battling inside, that he wonders if he'll spontaneously combust. He wants to tell you off but ask you what's going on because there's surely something but also he wants to gush over how unbelievable you look in that dress. It's hard not to let himself melt into you, so much of your bare skin exposed for his fingers to brush over. But he stops himself. Compose yourself Munson, something has clearly happened, he scolds himself. Pushing you back by the shoulders, he observes you at arms length. Your pretty make up is clearly smudged by tears. Now he does want to just take you in his arms, coddle you and fix it.

'What's going on, sweetheart? Why are you wasted on a Tuesday and all alone?'

You squirm under his big brown gaze, eyes full of concern - it's too much to take.

'Just wanna have a good time s'all,' you lie.

'Hmm, that sounds like a fib, princess,' Eddie tuts.

The nickname makes you scowl, looking down at the floor as you irritatedly scuff the floor with your boot.

'Don't you mean Duchess,' you snark, 'I thought that was my royal title from the ingrates of Hawkins.'

Eddie is now more confused than ever. He's stopping himself from frustratedly flailing his arms around. Why are girls so confusing? He wants to scream, what the hell is going on?

'Okay, somethings clearly happened, Y/N. Please can you tell me? You're worrying me here, doll...'

He tries to tug you over to a booth to sit and talk but you resist - surprisingly strong, as if the whisky he can smell on your breath had given you powers. You pull him back in return so that you're now just playing tug of war with each others limbs.

'No! Wanna dance, Ted!'

Realising he's not getting anywhere, he lets you win. With a satisfied little smile on your face you drag him over to your dancing spot. You gesture 'one moment' with your finger as you totter over to the jukebox.

As you return, the soft melancholy tones of Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths begin to hum through the room. Eddie rolls his eyes, god I really hate the fucking Smiths, he thinks.

'You cannot dance to The Smiths,' he argues.

'Slow dance!' You chirp back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Eddie freezes, gulping as you take his hands, placing one on your waist and keeping ahold of the other. The way you look at him makes him want to cry. All wide eyed and expectant and clueless as to how his heart might jump out of his chest because holy shit you want to slow dance with him.

Eventually Eddie manages to force his feet to move, attempting to block out the perplexed look on Carl's face. Trying to focus on holding you in his arms and swaying you both to this unnecessarily apt song that feels like the universe is mocking him. Sighing into his embrace, you rest your head against his shoulder and he thinks he could stay like this forever. Then you speak.

'S'over with Sean,' you whisper.

The announcement causes him to freeze entirely.

'Keep dancing,' you murmur and he does as he's told whilst his mind races with questions a mile a minute.

'What happened?' He attempts to ask casually but fails miserably.

An exhausted sigh leaves you and he feels your entire frame sag.

'We were supposed to go out tonight but I came to the store early. Caught him with a girl, laughin' about the silly stupid little Duchess of Hawkins,' you snort half heartedly, 'how I can't have everythin' whilst this random bitch sucked his neck.'

Eddie's entire body goes rigid, fingers balling into fists so tight his rings begin to bite at his skin. How dare he, how dare that motherfucker, he's raging inside, how dare he have the most precious girl in the world and cheat and mock her. What gnaws at him the most is he never thought the guys you saw were good enough, but he'd let his guard down with Sean. He thought he might actually be okay. That if Eddie can't have you and look after you properly, it seemed like Sean just might. But no, it was clear now that truly no one was worthy of you.

'I'll fucking kill him,' Eddie snarls through gritted teeth. You chuckle, looking up at him with hazy lovesick eyes, brushing your fingertips over his dimpled cheeks.

'Don't bother, s'not worth it. Already know I can't have everything.'

His face falls at the thought of you thinking that.

'That's bullshit. You deserve everything - can have anything, sweetheart,' he says it so sincerely that it hurts. If only he knew what you really wanted.

'I wasn't upset cos I couldn't have Sean.'

The way you look at Eddie makes it feel as if the world stops spinning. It makes him think for one indulgent moment that you might love him back. Both of you stare into each other's eyes wondering what's going on behind them. The soft orange of the dim bar lights causing your skin to glow. The aura of the room stuck in a limbo of melancholy and sweetness as both of you clutch onto each other. Softly swaying as internally the pair of you plead along with the lyrics,

For once in my life, let me get what I want. Lord know it would be the first time.

Once the song finishes, you both appear to realise how vulnerable you've let yourselves become. Simultaneously jumping apart as if it was a school dance and your bodies were forbidden to touch. You stare awkwardly like you'd been caught in a compromising position. Eddie is the first to break the silence.

'We should - I should take you home,' he says as monotone as possible. Desperate not to reveal how flustered he feels. You feel mortified, like he'd caught you out and knows your true feelings. This feeling is worse than seeing Sean wrapped up in another girl's arms and mocking you. Far worse. Why won't the ground just open up and swallow me whole? You cast your eyes at the ground, watching how Eddie's scuffed sneakers shuffle.

'I - I gotta pee first!' You suddenly declare before grabbing your bag and fleeing to the bathroom. Once you're behind the security of the women's toilets door, you crumble to the floor. Sean's betrayal didn't hurt, what hurt was that it didn't hurt. It was painful to realise not even distracting yourself with a cheap imitation of Eddie, could kill off your love for him. It hurt that you actually did like Sean and it still wasn't enough to eclipse the all consuming love you felt for Eddie. You now realise that if that hadn't worked, nothing ever will. You're condemned to this cruel unreciprocated love forever and it's all too much. Manically, you dig through your bag until you feel the cool glass. There's still some liquid remaining of the concoction you'd brewed. Biting back the tears and the harsh taste, you down it, praying each sip numbs you just a little further.

'Owwww!' you whine dramatically as you're forced forward by the door. You're oblivious to how long you've been sat on the bathroom floor, dazed and drunker than ever.

'Y/N! The hell are you doing in there? Let me in, sweetheart. You've been gone for ages,' Eddie's concerned voice carries through the crack. Groaning, as if each movement was hugely inconvenient, you shuffle away from the door.

'S'open!'

Wincing, he slowly opens the door, worried about what state he'll find you in... and it's much worse than he thought. You're slumped on the floor, legs wide like a toddler playing but your toy is an empty sprint bottle. There's a glaze over your eyes as you stare at him, he can't quite workout what the look your give him means. He snatches the bottle, to a barrage of protests from you. Nostrils flared and brow furrowed, Eddie has stepped back into responsible adult mode after you disarmed him early.

'Where the fuck did that come from?' He waves the bottle, one hand on his hips.

'S'not your business...' you slur back defiantly. You were clearly taking the role of petulant child. Eddie's eyes roll to the back of his head, he slams the bottle down on the sink countertop.

'That's it. You're coming with me, right now!'

You attempt to move out of his reach but you're all limbs, flailing like a new born foal. Taking advantage of your stumbling, Eddie sweeps you up and tosses you over his shoulder.

'Edward!' You try to protest by kicking your feet but a large hand stops you in your tracks.

'Ah ah ah, be careful of the family jewels!'

The words would usually make you blush but the alcohol speaks for you now.

'Oooops! We gotta take care of them. Make lil Munsons,' you say so casually that Eddie nearly drops you. He's grateful your vision is limited to the floor and his backside so he can't see the way his Adam's apple bobbed and his pupils blew up at your words. She didn't mean it like that you pervert, he chides himself.

'Um... where's your stuff?' He mumbled trying to distract himself, 'oh nevermind...'

He answers his own question, spotting your bag and jacket on the floor. Gathering them whilst you absentmindedly hum and pat a tune against the backs of his thighs. It makes him smile, the smile turns into a gawp as he straightens up and sees himself in the mirror. That already dangerously short dress now risen up due to your angle. Tiny lace pink underwear on show. Tiny. When he feels his soul return to his body, he carefully drapes your jacket over your backside. The pervs in the bar did not get to see this, he thinks, even I shouldn't be able to see this. But the image is etched in his brain. The expanse of your thighs, soft skin all the way up to your barely concealed ass, thin pink fabric running between the cheeks and disappearing to a region he's sure he'd have died had he seen. He scolds himself for the initial instinct of sinking his teeth into the plump fat. Sean must be possessed not to realise what perfection he had, he tuts whilst carrying you out the van.

Selfishly, it feels good to take care of you like this; it always seems the other way round. Placing you inside, strapping your seatbelt, tucking your hair behind your ears. Eddie smiles to himself as he watches you determinedly fiddle with the radio. Eventually you find something that satisfies, naturally it's something you love and he hates. A snigger escapes his lips as he listens to you attempt to drunkly harmonise with the lead singer's high pitch. It's a mistake and only draws your attention to him, now directing your serenading to him.

'Why do I find it hard to write the next line?

Oh I want the truth to be said

Huh huh huh hu-uh huh

I know this much is true'

An adorable smirk is spread across your face, delighted in tormented him. Eddie tries not to crash as you punctuating your crooning with actions. Leaning over close to him, fingers trailing down his cheek, his arm... his thigh.

'Stop it, sweetheart,' he grunts harsher than intended but god, did he need you to stop. You look at him with infuriatingly innocent wide eyes and a pout.

'Why, Teddy? S'funny.'

He groans, how is someone so intelligent so utterly clueless to what she does to me.

'You'll make me crash,' he insists.

'Why-' thankfully your second round of questioning is cut off as something catches your eye. A small boy on a bike whizzes past and into the night, already pitch black by eight in the evening. It causes you to pay attention to the path Eddie is taking you down.

'Um,' you retract your hand from his thigh much to his dismay, 'were you going?'

He looks at you perplexed, how drunk were you?

'I'm taking you home?'

A furious scowl appears across your face, taking him aback, as if he'd said something diabolical.

'S'not home!' You protest. Eddie waves his hands, exasperated by what on earth you mean.

'Wanna go to the trailer... go with you...'

His heart skips a beat, does she think home is with me? But he can't have you there, not like this, not looking like that.

'I don't think that's-'

The pleasing expression on your face stops him in his tracks. Lip trembling, lashes batting, the glitter smeared over your eyelids shimmering in the street lights, you look more ethereal than ever. He's screwed.

On the path from the van to his bedroom, you cling to Eddie's arm like a lifeline. The moment the door swings open you toss yourself onto the bed, dress flipping with the movement. You're on his bed, looking like this. He stumbles around gathering blankets as you watch intently, he feels hot under your following eyes.

'Whatcha doin' Ted?'

'Getting stuff so I can sleep on the floor?' He replies as if it were obvious. You cock your head, confused.

'Huh? Why? You always sleep in the bed w'me for sleepovers?'

'Yeah but - but you're drunk. Wanted to give you space...'

You manage to get up on your feet and wobble over to him. Taking the blankets out his grip, you smooth over his tense hands, fingers spinning his rings.

'I don't want space,' you whisper.

He immediately assumes you don't want to feel alone after today's heartbreak.

'Okay... well... you should get ready for bed then.'

For the first time all night you behave and do as he says. Wobbly feet attempting to make your way to the bathroom but you're clearly not going to make it without cracking your skull. He quickly catches you and escorts. Guiding you to sit on the toilet, Eddie gets to do the one thing he wants to do with his life - take care of you. You smile and hum happily as he damps a cloth and wipes away your smeared make up. Chatter about how you made Carl hand over control to the jukebox as he carefully brushes your wild hair. Toy with the chains around his neck as you look up at him, mouth wide so he can brush your teeth. Then you sit patiently, enchanted watching Eddie perform his own nightly routine. He's far clumsier with himself than he ever was with you. It's heart achingly endearing. Dribbling toothpaste onto his shirt causing him to cuss.

'Son of a...'

Your giggles cease as he tugs his T-shirt off, exposing his taught porcelain skin. A new tattoo has appeared since you last saw him shirtless. You hadn't seen him shirtless since you had gotten with Sean, Eddie always becomes more reserved when you have a boyfriend. Or maybe you just stop yourself from spending so much one-on-one time with him when you do. Either way, seeing him like this is just another reminder how perfect he is. Not just his appearance, but everything else. No one has ever or would ever look after you like Eddie does. Subconsciously your hand has sought out the exposed skin you've been drooling over. The touch makes every hair on his body stand on end but you're oblivious to it. Your

finger dipping into the V shaped lines of his abdomen, following the sweeping alone the trail.

'Maybe you should go get changed...' he tries not to moan.

His sudden words snap you out of the trance you hadn't realised you were in. Retracting your hand, you nod and escape the small bathroom. Once he hears you're in the bedroom, Eddie splashes water over his face. Looking at himself in the mirror, he lectures himself,

'Why are you torturing yourself like this? Freak.'

When he returns to the bedroom, Eddie is surprised to see you stood swaying near your usual side of the bed. Instead of curled up under the duvet like he expected, you're still dressed and perusing the clutter on the nearby dresser.

'You okay, sweetheart?' He coughs to get your attention. You spin round, nearly tripping with the movement.

'Needed help...' you admit, turning round again and looking over your shoulder, you point at a zip down the back of the dress. Right now, Eddie could get on his hands and knees and shout up to the sky God, why do you hate me? Instead he nods and silently pads over. Careful to brush any hair out of the way, he lets his hands linger on the smooth skin of your shoulders. He gulps as they trail down your spine to the zipper, evoking goosebumps on your exposed skin. With more delicacy than he's even attempted before, he tugs the zip. It's stiff at first and then slides down easily, exposing the back of a bra that matches the panties he shouldn't have caught before. Internally he curses, fuck every asshole who got to touch her like this, especially Sean, fuck you Sean.

Before he can even move, you slip the dress off your shoulders and it pools down by your feet. Eddie's breath catches and it comes out as a choke as you turn around. Now, you stand before him fully exposed beside the tiny lace set that barely conceals anything. You're looking back at him as if this is normal, like you always find yourselves in situations like this. You don't, this is a first. He's seen you in panties and a t-shirt before but never ones this small and you've seen him in just boxers. But it's never been like this. The air is thick with tension and lust, although Eddie is clueless that it's mutual.

'I - I - I'll get you a shirt,' he stutters.

'Thanks, Teddy,' you smile, as if everything is normal.

Quickly he turns to the dresser behind you and rummages for a shirt and shorts for you. Upon turning back to you, his pupils eclipse his brown irises. Your back is entirely stripped, bra and panties now amongst the black satin pool on the floor along with your boots. He flusters and bumbles, closing his eyes, spinning around and thrusting his arm out to throw the clothes at you.

'Shit, shit, shit, sorry sweetheart, I didn't know. I'm so sor-'

'S'fine silly,' you hiccup.

Eddie keeps his eyes shielded until he hears the mattress squeak. I basically just saw my best friend naked, naked in my bedroom, what is happening, what is happening, his insides scream.

'Are you getting in or standing all night, Teddy?' You giggle.

When he dares to peak again he's met with his favourite sight - you, soft and warm in his clothes, curled in his bed. You've not been like this since you met Sean. He hates himself for being pleased it's over so he can selfishly have you to himself... almost. Stripping to just his boxers, Eddie climbs along side you. A gasp escapes as immediately you curl into him, arms draping around his stomach and your head on his chest. Gradually, he lets himself settle into your touch and allows his arm to wrap around you.

'It stops spinning when I'm with you,' you mumble into his chest. Eddie laughs, rubbing your back.

'You're that wasted, huh, sweetheart?

You sigh because he just doesn't understand and your brain can't unscramble what you feel and vocalise them when you're in this state. It's not the room that stops spinning, it's the world, it's everything, you keep me grounded, Eddie is what you mean.

The pair of you continue to lie there, fingers tracing shapes on the other. Both of you could stay like this, blissfully content, together, forever. But the self-doubt in Eddie rears its ugly head. She's not yours, she's only here because she's drunk and Sean broke her heart, this isn't real.

'So...' he bursts the bubble, 'what are you gonna do now, with Sean?'

Just saying his name leaves a bitter taste in Eddie's mouth after what he's done to you.

'Don't care,' you confess, 'don't want anyone else.'

You don't care about what Sean did, you don't want anyone else but Eddie, there's no pretending that anymore. But of course, he can't understand your cryptic drunk words. His touch stops.

'You're staying with him?' The words come out sharp, it's clear he doesn't understand you. You're tired and angry and drunk and exhausted from not being able to love anyone the way you love Eddie.

'No! You don't understand, I-' you've sat up to look at him now. Both of you scowling at the other, mixed messages infuriating both. Even with the bleary tiredness of your eyes he looks so beautiful. It's drained all you have, all these feelings and now, you give up and let the alcohol speak for you.

Without thinking, you crush your lips to his. For the first time in your life, you do what you've always dreamed of and kiss Eddie. You kiss your best friend, the boy you've been sickeningly in love with since you were twelve. Eddie's eyes feel as if they might pop, heart feels as if it may burst. His entire body is frozen as if a spell was cast. The only thing he feels is your warm whisky breath on his lips. She's kissing me, she's kissing me, she's... drunk. He's dreamt about your first kiss for the last three years, fantasising how, when or where. But this isn't how it's meant to be, if he was ever lucky enough for it to happen. Eddie wants you to kiss him because it's him, not because you're drunk and heart broken. You don't mean this. For just a second, he lets himself taste the dream; returning your kiss. For just that second sparks erupt and they're nauseating, too much to handle. He can't let himself fool himself like this. You don't end up with Eddie Munson, that isn't how the story ends. Guiding your soft cheeks, he pulls you away. Absorbing your half lidded eyes and kiss bitten lips whilst he's so privileged to see the sight. Then, he guides you back down to his chest. No word is spoken. Within a minute or so, Eddie feels your breathing even and you fall asleep. It was just the alcohol, he lectures himself all night. Wide awake and staring into space, wishing there was a world somewhere in which you were in love with him too. As he fades into his fantasy, he's occasionally brought back to drab old Hawkins as the lights outside the trailer park flicker and surge. I hate this fucking town, he thinks and then he sees you peacefully asleep against him, except for her.

It's late afternoon when you wake, sleepy eyed and bed headed. Eddie lets you sleep in, the both of you missing school. Despite the clear hangover and stumbling steps, you're chirpy and completely unaware of the events of last night. He jiggles his knee anxiously as he tries to see what you recall over a bowl of Honey Comb.

'So I got ready and I went to the record store and ugh. Caught Sean, that fucking skeezeball. Then...'

Eddie nods, waiting for you to continue. It takes you a moment, mouth twitching as you recall.

'I think I was at The Hideout? I think there was Madonna... then you?'

He gulps the orange juice to hide his nerves.

'Then you were there and... that's it. I'm drawing a blank. Did we just drink and then come back here?'

Gone, all of it gone. Mind wiped clean by liquor.

'Um, yeah, sure. Yeah, pretty much...' he agrees, this way is easier, 'anything else?'

You tap the spoon against your lips, pondering.

'Nope!' You pronounce the P with a pop.

'Cool, well... was pretty much it.... do you want me to drop you home?' He asks but really he's pleading, he needs you to go.

'Shit, yes please. Guess I gotta get explaining to Gran,' you grimace and giggle. Totally oblivious.

The moment he's back from dropping you off at Ruby's, Eddie sparks a joint. Desperate for something to numb the painful buzzing in his body, the racing thoughts and the burning skin on his cheek where you kissed it goodbye. Last night it was his lips you were kissing. He traipses to his room defeatedly and goes to the dresser where records are stack. Only the loudest music possible could clear out his head. But his foot catches on something as he turns to the record player. The record flops to the floor as he realises what it is. He stands, sinking in the pool if your discarded clothes. That tiny satin black dress and those even smaller pink lace bra and panties. He's glad you forgot, glad you didn't spot them incase it jogger your memory. Carefully Eddie picks them up. They smell like whisky and cigarettes, but mostly the fabric is infused with you. He stubs away the joint, not wanting to contaminate your scent with the acrid smoke. Really, he should put them aside and return them to you. Yet, he's terrified of bringing that night back to your memory. Doesn't want to embarrass you by making you remember you were so distraught and drunk that you stooped as low as kissing him. Then, the darkness inside him taunts. Maybe she does remember and she's being kind, not wanting to embarrass you because she hated the kiss so much. Both options suck but he can't bring himself to just toss the only tangible memories of that night, that kiss, away.

Eddie crouches so he can reach under his bed. Shuffling junk, discarded campaign plans and forgotten guitars picks until he feels it. A tattered old leather suitcase, worthless but filled with treasure. Placing it on his bed, he opens it. Inside are mementos: pictures of his Mom, of you, Gran and Wayne, song lyrics, old picks, gig tickets and birthday cards. With greater care than he ever has with his own clothes, he folds your dress, tucking the underwear inside so it's hidden. The secret will be safe in here, he reassures himself.

Eddie locks it and returns it safely under his bed. Letting your clothes lie there with other precious moments he wants to preserve. It stays there untouched for years, that sacred memory.

tag list: @tlclick73 @probablyin-bed @fangirling-4-ever @booksarekindaneat @azydrateanatomy @sadbitchfangirl @fluffybunnyu @big-ope-vibes @beam86 @midnightsgetawaycar @stevieharringtonswife

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modernmanblues · 6 months

Text

i’ve just realised i haven’t done an official review of all the places i’ve been to this year and since i’ve been to so many, i will try to keep it short and sweet. i might even divide this review in two parts. anyways, without further ado here we go:

starting off with the countries down undah

australia

-the koalas and joeys were absolutely adorable. shame i didn’t go to the bigger zoo (taronga) to hold a koala but you know, there is always a next time.

-this is very american of me to say, but i had one of the best McDonald’s burgers at sydney airport. i usually go out of my way to go to the nearest McDonald’s in any country i go as it always fascinates me how international menus differ from the standard macca’s menu in US

-scenery was okay

-bondi beach was pretty. it gave southern france vibes.

-downtown sydney had some great areas for running (esp in the morning when not too crowded)

-i went there during their winter. i would like to go back to experience their summer to see what it’s like.

-overall, Sydney like a diluted version of London

overall rating: 7/10

new zealand

-absolutely stunning views

-i only went two cities (Auckland and Queenstown), but i was still amazed with the view both places had to offer

-i would say NZ is a cross between England and Ireland with regard to the scenery

-food was okay. they basically eat like the english. meat and potatoes, that sort of thing.

-queenstown was absolutely breathtaking.

-again, similar weather to australia when i went. i would love to go back and experience their summer as well

-would be nice to explore the northern end of the island to the southern end (personally, i would love to visit Stewart Island for obvious reasons)

overall rating: 10/10

moving on to european countries

england

-london is london. business as usual. didn’t spend too much time there as i have already been there a few times as i was more interested in exploring the countryside. anyway, the tube is always fun to ride. not to miss!

-i really enjoyed driving “on the wrong side” didn’t take long for me to learn the rules of the road there. absolutely worth renting a car especially if you’re wanting to explore england’s rural areas.

-now, the countryside (i went to Banbury bordering the Cotswolds, Peak District and Lake District) and i was truly amazed with just how stunning the views were in these places

-oxford was also very stunning. loved exploring oxford university and the vicinity.

-food was okay.

-liverpool and manchester are literally the loves of my life (and yes i am biased about those places for personal reasons). I want to back again and again and again and ag-

overall rating: 10/10

..i will stop here and do a part 2 (maybe 3 as well)

#official travel review #part 1

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taegularities · 1 year

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i think i included this as an option last time and you picked the other one so i'm throwing it in again lol say drabble for the first time they slept together at that party? 🥰

fic: songs about you

pairing: fwb!tae x reader, childhood best friends to lovers; fluff, smut warnings: sexual tension, unprotected sex, manhandling, rough sex, fingering, crying, big dick tae, masturbation, drunk and bathroom sex (i seem to love that), they're also so cute :((( wc: 1.7k a/n: awh i remember that it was one of the options 🥺 and you know i love that couple so much, i'll keep coming back to them <333 btw ari, please tell me why this almost made me cry lolll. this took ages omg... also, unedited !!

ask my character! <3

"You remember when you'd invite me to those events during senior year?" you ask, closing your tired eyes for a moment.

Taehyung is as gone as you, perceiving his surroundings in a neverclearing blur. He looks at you with confusion in his starry pupils, and hums, "Hmm?"

"You'd take me to those parties, and I'd hate it here."

"Still hate it?"

"Despise it. You rich people spend money on parties that no one will remember."

"Ouch," Taehyung jokes, "it's not like I'm the host. No need to diss me."

"Well, your eighteenth birthday party was a lot more fun when we went to that burger place. The official, fancy one? Eh."

In your head, your speech is clear, but you bet that you're mumbling and swallowing words; not that it's any kind of challenge to him. He'd understand through your movements alone.

"Tell me then," he says, the tone of his voice shifting. His eyes are dazy, and his breath smells like bitter alcohol. "What was so great about the burger night?"

Your and Taehyung's friendship dates back to an easier time. When you'd gather with your friends, hunched over your homework and projects. Living through high school days, complaining about its pain as though no bigger issues existed.

Back then, you guess they didn't.

Taehyung liked to play the piano to you. The feeling that engulfed your heart back then, listening to every gentle note he gifted you, was still a veiled one.

Today, things have changed. Realities have shifted. Maybe you're not head over heels in love with him – maybe – but you still know what lingers in your heart.

And the inebriated version of you has a lot less inhibitions; a lot less fears to voice her mind.

So you say, "It was just us. You and me. The entire night felt a little different, you know? Maybe because the diner was empty that time..."

"It was empty. I liked it, too."

You move a little, though you soon realise that you shouldn't have – because the world is spinning.

"But it was the first time that I really hoped for you to kiss me."

Wait. What?

Why are you saying that? For fuck's sake.

"Kiss you?" Taehyung asks. When you look at him, his forehead is wrinkled in confusion.

Oh God, what have you done?

"I'm sorry," you hurry to exclaim.

"No, I... wait, tell me more about this."

"...Why?"

"I just. It's not every day that your best friend says anything like that."

"It's so dumb. I know, it's really fucking stupid."

"No, I..."

He gulps. Looks around. The guests are busy conversing, fake laughing, stepping onto their own dresses, discussing whatever the party's purpose might be.

But Taehyung's focus is somewhere else.

Which he proves when snatches the glass off your hand, placing it along with his own on a nearby table.

And then, he's pulling you away from the crowd, somewhere where none of you will be missed.

Your heart bursts behind your chest, hand clutching his in anticipation.

"What are you doing?" you inquire, slower in your heels than him.

"You just..." he shakes his head, whispering your name. Halts when you reach the bathroom, rushing to open the door and pull you inside. "You can't say that and expect me to stay calm."

"Why are you... not ca–"

"I–" He's breathing heavily, blinking slowly. Holding you against the door, not entirely sure what he's supposed to do.

"Why did you never tell me about that?" he prods.

"I... didn't think it was necess–"

"It's important. Of course it is."

And that's all you get. There's no more chance to say much more; the palms on your waist silence you.

So does the way he pins you harder against the door.

And so does the plush mouth that falls on yours, hard and greedy.

Whatever you thought how this evening might evolve... that wasn't it.

The following minutes, the entire night pass in a dense fog. You barely breathe – he doesn't let you.

He explores your body. Kissing up and down your skin. Sheds your clothes, touches every part that you need touched. You've dreamed of this before.

You didn't think it'd actually happen. Ever.

"I've fucked so many women, wishing they were you," he admits at some point, fucked out and drunk beyond belief.

Until now, most of his and your utterances consisted of moans, each others' names, crude curses. Until now, you blamed the booze, the effect it has on you, the craze that flows through your veins.

But the way he's looking at you now... despite his lewd statement... it's something else–

"Have you?" you want to know; a tight knot builds in your tummy.

"This is unreal."

"Tae..." You squirm in his grip, gasping when curled fingers press against a spot inside you. "Fuck me, please. No more wishes... I'm here now."

"Are you sure? God, I..."

"I am," you promise immediately, "I am. I... thought about this a lot." He stares at you in silence and tenderness. Like he can't believe what you're saying. "And besides... I've always wanted to be the one to wet your dick."

Taehyung chuckles, a deep, soft sound directly from his chest. He looks sweet like that, but when his lips return to your neck, his demeanour changes.

Buried in your skin, pecking your shoulder, he guides his cock to your clit. He doesn't do much yet – except for the torturous teasing, rubbing the head against your nub, toying with your patience.

And when he's had enough, he leans back.

A strong hand turns you swiftly, pressing your cheek against the door and pulling your ass back until you're angled. Palms firmly against the door.

His length continues to prod your entrance, never quite shoving it inside, no matter how wet you already are.

But he breaks. Of course he does.

You hear him spit into his palm, and close your eyes in anticipation, taking a deep breath before he finally gives in.

You saw his member just a minute ago – if it's anyhow as menacing as it looks, you're screwed in the best way possible.

Quite literally.

"Careful, yeah? You'll tell me when it's too much?" he says. His voice is strained. He's heavy breathing.

"Mhmm..."

And that's when you mewl.

Louder than before, shaking in your spot.

Taehyung is quick to slap a hand against your mouth, muffling your sounds as he dives in inch by inch. "Nod if you're okay."

You do. Though you can't suppress the constant moans that fall out of you. And he makes sure to silence that sound.

There's something about it.

Having your best friend and long-time crush fuck you against the door. Thrust into you gently first, before he picks up on pace and rails you into oblivion. The way he's controlling you and your undying moans, hand never leaving your lips.

The tears that escape your eyes fall on his fingers, and when he notices the sensation, he tenses. "You good?"

You nod hastily, sure that your make up's smeared. God, you'll need to leave after that.

"Good. Holy fuck, that's hot."

Which is when you realise that he didn't tense solely because he was worried.

But because he's enjoying your reaction.

Of course he is. Kinky bastard.

"More? Harder?"

His suggestions come broken, every other syllable swallowed. Fuck, he's battering your pussy. Ruining you, slamming his hips against your ass.

Shit, how did you get here?

You nod once more, and he laughs, presumably surprised that he's still not pushed you to your limits.

Delightful.

So he drills you rougher, burying himself to the hilt, balls deep inside you; breathing hard, losing his mind when your fingers shift to your clit.

A minute later, you're coming undone – swaying so hard that you reckon you must be moving in circles, until you realise that it's just in your head.

Mind empty, you let the high ebb down; he’s still fucking you, chasing his own release, guiding you through your orgasm.

And when he pushes in one last time, remaining in you with his entire cock buried, you think you’re dreaming.

The deep, reverberating groans of his are insanely dizzying. You can’t do this. You can’t– how did you–

You didn’t know. You didn’t know that intimacy with him entailed all that. Where was this insanity all your life? Why didn’t you reveal your thoughts to him earlier?

Fuck.

“How... was that?” he dares to question.

“It was...”

“What you imagined? What you wanted?” There’s cockiness in his voice. But somehow, there’s worry, too. “Better... worse?”

“It was– just right.”

“Okay. Good.”

He remains in the position, leaning in to kiss your shoulder, your back, your arms. Then, he pulls out, immediately backing away to grab some toilet paper. He cleans you up; you wince.

And then, he says, “Look at me.”

You turn around; the ache between your legs is too tangible. You’ll feel it harder tomorrow, you know.

Still swaying, you slip your eyelids open. Gaze into his; there’s affection and post-coital bliss in his stare. Something you can’t decipher as he brushes your hair back.

Thumbs wipe the remnants of your tears away, hopefully clearing your cheeks of the make up.

You don’t know what he’s thinking until he claims, “You’ve always been so pretty, Swan.”

Your eyes widen; you put your palm on his hand, lifting it to your lips to plant a gentle kiss on his skin. “And you, Tae.”

“Do you wanna leave?”

“Yeah,” you answer, no hesitation in your words. “Please.”

And so you do.

Goodbyes are uttered in a hurry, the car ride in some cab a faint memory.

At his place, you fall into each other deeper. Kiss every inch of him, hugging him close, moaning the night away.

To you, this is still just a drunken night’s mistake. You’re sure you’ll talk about it in the morning. Think about the next steps in your relationship.

You’ll wonder what the hell happened, and how a single confession could lead to something this big.

You won’t know that it’s the beginning of something you’ll never be able to fathom.

Or that there’s unbearable pain ahead. Joy. Lust. Love.

Or that you’ll become his song; the very last he’ll ever play on loop.

–

i’ll edit this later, but oh my god i hope it was okay !!! some quick smut :’) lemme know what u think <3

#oh also i've already quite a few drabble requests in the inbox mwahaha thank you guys 👀 so send in questions too!#would be even easier than drabbles <33 #*amc #notes for rid 🌹#ari <3 #taehyung smut #bts smut #taehyung fluff

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on-a-lucky-tide · 2 years

Text

Another draft for the Witcher Summer Camp prompts? More likely than you think. I wrote this a while ago and queued it up to be expanded. I don't think it fits anything on the list though, so here it is.

CW: internalised homophobia and fear of being 'found out'; Lambert's canonically abusive father; keeping relationships secret. Lambert is always his game version.

I've been listening to Westlife, and I have an idea where twelve-year-old Lambert watches something like X-Factor. He watches sixteen-year-old Coën win with the most amazing voice; he gets his recording contract and becomes a big star.

Lambert follows his meteoric rise; he sings his songs, buys his albums, and steals a poster from the centre of a teen magazine while collecting his dad’s booze and cigarettes from the off-license.

Lambert knows the feeling; it’s the same one he gets when he sees Betsy-May, the cute girl in his year, at the park.

If he keeps it quiet, then it stays… abstract. He can dream, right?

Dreams aren’t dangerous, he tells himself as he sings into his hairbrush in front of his ma’s mirror. He can dance on stage with Coën and they can jet across the world, leaving the grey streets of London behind.

But Lambert's hotshot football manager father won't have any son of his being into that poncy performing arts shit and Lambert has that dream... removed from him.

Fast forward 15 years later.

All grown up now, Lambert went into security because that is a suitably Man-like career. He still sings privately in the shower, in his bedroom, where no one can hear. And hates himself for it because he should be over it by now.

A record label hires his company for security. Some of their best-known artists are getting harassed by fans. One was even photographed in his home in his underpants by a girl that climbed the security wall.

It's a huge contract. Of course, he accepts, and he even appears in person to meet the client's intended asset.

It's fucking Coën.

Lambert would recognise him anywhere. He almost fucks up the contract completely by being a dick because the walls all come flying up.

But, for some reason, Coën really likes him. Lambert's head of accounts tells him they fucking well need this client because there could be endless work from all the different assets. And Coën? He doesn't want anyone else. He wants Lambert.

Something about treating him like a real person, not a prized pig.

So, Lambert grits his teeth and returns. Because he doesn't have an explanation for potentially writing off a load of jobs.

For some reason "I had a gay little boy crush on the dickhead and my dad beat me for it, and it's easier to blame a faceless famous person for having your dreams crushed than realise how fucked up your childhood was and work through that" is a bit too raw.

He tells himself that he will keep it strictly professional. Protect the asset, get the money. But the more time Lambert spends around Coën, the more he realises the guy is so, so desperately lonely.

He wants to talk to someone who doesn't instantly squeal at his "hot body" and "hot voice” or see him as a walking cash machine.

Coën is open, quirky, funny, and a little mischievous, and he loves cooking, which Lambert is shit at and doesn't really have taste buds, or so he's told, but Coën's curry is the best thing he has ever fucking tasted, and they're both equal at MarioKart so those evenings are...

..well, good. So good.

And... Oh, Coën is gay. He lets it slip after he'd had too much to drink. That one day he dreams of being able to marry the man of his dreams, but how is that ever going to happen when his record label needs him to be a heterosexual heartthrob?

Lambert makes a mistake then.

He runs away. Because he's a coward.

Coën has just shared with him a secret that he's been made to keep. Something that he has been told makes him not good enough. And Lambert can't deal with it. He can't. So he runs.

Lambert calls Geralt. Because Geralt may be a bigger mess than he is, but he's way better at navigating it. They stay up all night, drinking and talking. And Geralt helps Lambert realise he needs to take the leap or live forever wondering.... what if.

He goes back and finds a wounded, devastated Coën who still, somehow, underneath it all, has the strength to hold the bruised scraps of his heart out for Lambert to take. Coën is in a really hard place. A desperate place.

Over the years, he's been told to "change" his music, and style, to keep up with the times. More jaunty tunes like “Blurred Lines". Emotionless, heartless drivel that shoots him to the top of the charts. He hasn't sung or released anything he's written himself in years.

Lambert sits down next to him at the piano and timidly sings the first few lines of a very, very old song. Coën is shocked. Lambert confesses... almost everything. He's not really ready to tell the whole story yet. But Coën knows there's more.

He can see the shadows behind Lambert's eyes, so he says they'll sing it together. For the twelve-year-old who watched Coën win the X Factor final with adoration and hope.

What they have will stay between them. It doesn't belong to anyone else. They don't owe anyone a "coming out", let alone the rabid hordes of fans and media jackals. Lambert will walk at Coën's side as his bodyguard in public, and then hold him in private.

It's not shame. It's not staying in the closet. It's protecting something fragile and precious from a world that would tear it to pieces before it even has a chance to bloom. They'll work it out. Together.

#Coën #witcher Coën #lambert #witcher lambert #Coën x lambert #Coën/lambert #Coëbert

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burningthetree · 1 year

Note

I LOVE ASK GAMES! please talk to me about your year in writing! okay for ao3 wrapped! Would you pretty please answer numbers 3, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and/or 29 😇

I realize I am being unreasonable but I cannot help it :) please feel free to skip any or all

YES CAT OMG THANK YOU <3 i love talking about my writing let’s go!

(if you know me irl don’t you dare read under the cut)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Either of my longer fics. I always had trouble writing longer stories (which is fine! Shorter stories are just as great, but I always wanted to write something longer and never seemed to be able to) so I’m just proud that I somehow managed to tell a story that is unreasonably and unnecessarily long. I specifically have forget me not in mind, but also safe and warm because I feel like my initial plan for that one is just as big a lie as my plan was for fmn and it’s going to be over 100k again I fear. But that’s something I’m proud of! Starting out with a small idea and then realising it’s going to evolve into something bigger than I’d anticipated, and then still sticking with it to see it through to the end, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes.

6. Favorite title you used

safe and warm! I struggled with what to pick for the title at first, but then felt relatively content with it. And I don’t want to base my satisfaction on outside validation but the people that did comment on the title pointed out the exact things I had in mind for it and that gave me a boost in serotonin

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I’ve been struggling with literally everything this year LOL I don’t think anything was quick to write. Especially after writing forget me not last year within four months everything just feels painfully slow. Albeit not quick per se, safe and warm is the quickest in comparison to the rest I’ve had lying around for months lol

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

So many 😭 let me go count them. I think it's seven. Yikes. But I'm currently only actively writing two. And one of those two will be finished in December, so currently it's eight but 2023 it'll be seven 'only'.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

My gut feeling says Hurt/Comfort and Angst. Let me go check. Yeah, it's definitely Hurt/Comfort. All my fics except one have that tag. I just…vibe with it a lot. As does everyone I know.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Kuroo! I genuinely think he’s my absolute favourite in all of Haikyuu!! and I’m having such a good time writing him, though I was very surprised because I always thought it'd be Akaashi or Oikawa. But writing him gives me so much joy and I find it relatively easy (though whether or not my version of him is accurate in relation to the canon-version is debatable). I'm also having a lot of fun with Kiyoomi and Atsumu, they're both such little shits it's a delight to write them.

I'd be a fake if I didn't mention Hawks, though. I find him very easy to write as well, and I had a lot of fun! Some of the whumptober prompts (I haven't forgotten about the collection, I promise, I will finish it one day!) went by really fast because they were Hawks-centric, even though it was my first time writing him. But I don't know, I enjoyed it a lot.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Iwaizumi. I swear to god. I keep including him in my fic for the sake of IwaOi but sweet jesus he is driving me INSANE. I’ve never had this many issues with any character and I’m losing my goddamn mind because I don't know how to fix it. Also Edgeshot. I hate that man (I don't, but I do. I really do. I don't).

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

YakuLev! I’m not the biggest fan of Lev because I find him really annoying but I’ve had an idea for them for the longest time now and I’ve started writing it a bit but it’s nowhere near done, so I’m hoping I get to finish it next year at some point! Also I've had an idea for SunaOsa for a while now that I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to get around to yet. So hopefully 2023 will be when I'll get to it!

I've also started to get a little invested in Aizawa/Mic so I've been thinking about them a little as well, also Levi/Erwin for some godforsaken reason lol (kudos to that one person on TikTok making constant videos about them and dragging me down that hole). So maybe I'll explore them next year, who knows, but I don't know if I'm well-versed enough in these fandoms to write something I'd be happy with regarding quality, but we'll see.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably forget me not, purely because it’s the one long fic I’ve ever written. And I didn’t have any trouble writing it at all, with barely any writer’s block or creative block, which has been an ongoing issue with my current bokuaka that I just cannot seem to continue atm. So I'm looking at it for the character dynamics and set-ups of the scenes to get some inspiration and to revisit how I did it in the past in a way that works for me, and to see if I've changed anything without noticing that makes it work a lot less. Also just structure-wise it’s nice to revisit an older work that is relatively long to see what can be adopted into the new fic and what wouldn’t work.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

On my way to reread my writing to find something! Okay, as much as I always complain about writing Iwaizumi, some of the IwaOi bits I've written are my favourites. This is from Chapter 5 of safe and warm so spoilers if you haven't read it yet, but I had a lot of fun writing this star-crossed lovers bit, and it's a little long so my apologies, I just didn't know how much to include in this post and where to cut off. So it might seem a little odd out of context, but oh well.

Walking up the stairs to where Tooru had been hiding for a long time – they had both lost count of how long it had been – Hajime started to doubt everything about their plan, even though he had been the one to come up with it in the first place. Though he’d had the idea, that didn’t mean he had to like it, because he didn’t. If there was a different way, a way that would ensure Tooru’s safety and keep him close, Hajime would choose that, without hesitation and without a doubt. But there was no other option. There never had been. Not for them. Their love had been doomed from the start. And Hajime had walked into it head-first, fully aware of the pain he’d encounter on the way, and yet he hadn’t been able to stay away from Tooru. The same was true for the other man. “Hey,” Tooru greeted him in a serious tone that he rarely ever used. The grimness of the situation had finally settled in, and Hajime longed for the times when he used to get annoyed with Tooru’s usually playful and obnoxious tone. Hajime didn’t greet him back, didn’t find it in him to say anything, not with how tight his throat was feeling. He was sure that if he opened his mouth now, he would end up crying, and he wanted to avoid that at all cost. Because if he did, he knew that Tooru would object to ever leaving, and he couldn’t risk that, not if he was already risking everything he had by simply coming here. “Hajime,” said Tooru, approaching him carefully as if Hajime was a frightened deer that could be set off at any minute. He wasn’t scared for himself, he really wasn’t. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his life anyway, not when he remembered how many people were scared of him for following his father’s footsteps. Not when he remembered how scared Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou had appeared earlier as Washijou thought it necessary to injure their friend in such a pointless manner as well. “Hajime, look at me,” said Tooru and walked up to him, cupping his face with gentle hands. The warmth of Tooru’s palms against his skin was filled with love, and it helped him calm down a little bit, to stop his thoughts from spiralling out of control. Hajime did as he was told, and Tooru’s loving brown eyes were set on his, his eyebrows creased in worry even as his lips gave him a smile.

It was a rare sight, having Tooru express such genuine emotion without hiding it beneath a layer of pretentiousness which Hajime hated and that he could see through as if it was a clear window with the curtain withdrawn. Only when they were alone did Tooru allow him to see his real emotions, and even though Hajime could always tell when his boyfriend wasn’t being sincere, he appreciated his honesty and transparency whenever it was just the two of them. “I have to go soon,” said Hajime as he took Tooru’s hands in his. “They are going to the palace soon, to try and find Sakusa and Kuroo. Most of us will go there, so take these.” He handed Tooru the tickets, who took them hesitantly. “It is your best chance. The sun is setting soon, so escape in the dark. Go to the train station, take these, and leave.” ��Hajime, I–” Tooru started, but Hajime interrupted him. “There is no time for objections, Shittykawa,” said Hajime, pressing the tickets into Tooru’s palm with such urgency, he almost tore the paper as he did so. “I wasn’t going to object,” said Tooru, faking disappointment and something that Hajime couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I was just going to say that I love you, but I guess you don’t want to hear that, so–” “Shut up,” said Hajime. “I want to hear that.” “What now?” said Tooru, and Hajime could feel the familiar annoyance rise in him at Tooru messing around with his emotions, fully aware that Hajime had a horrendous understanding of his emotions and a hard time dealing with them. “You want me to shut up or tell you that I–” “I am begging you,” said Hajime, “to quit teasing me so. I need you to tell me. Please.” “You’re annoying,” said Tooru. “You’re grumpy and you insult me all the time and you are the sweetest and best person I know. I love you, with all my heart, and after

There you go! This was the first passage that came to mind because this drama has such a chokehold on me, and I cannot wait to dive into it deeper. Thank you so much Cat, I absolutely loved rambling here <3

#asks #cat #thank you for making me talk about my writing #if you know me irl and you see this no you didnt #julie is rambling #julie is writing #<- been a while since I used that one

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cakesexuality · 2 years

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do you have any goal you want to accomplish by the end of the summer?

I didn't really have any goals in mind before receiving this Ask, but now you've got me thinking!!

I need to work on my sewing because I have a few projects in mind right now and a lot of materials taking up space!! I also wanna get through those projects so I can work up to making clothes for adult humans... we went to Fabricland yesterday and my mom offered to buy me a dress form since they were 50% off but I said no since I'm at the stage of making small crafty things, although that would maybe be motivation to start making bigger, more complex things, especially since I lowkey offered to make stuff for a local queen a little while back

We only went into Fabricland for A zipper!! I got a new heating pad a couple months ago and it's bigger than the one I already had but I hate the covers that come with them, so I made a new cover only to realise that out of ALL the zippers I have in my stash, none would be appropriate for the project, so I needed a SINGULAR pink, plastic, 12-inch zipper to be able to close the cover... now I've got one and can finally check that off my list very soon!! I know that the zipper is a different pink than the spots in the fabric, but I figured I'd rather have the wrong pink or the wrong blue and have it look like a style choice than to get the wrong white and have it look like a mistake

While we were there, I went to look at the quilting cottons, because I was hoping they'd have this purple and pink medical print since I already have some but it's so cute that I'm scared to use it, and then I stumbled upon this sprinkle print which I went for because a) I love things with a sprinkle design because it reminds me of cakes and cupcakes, and b) just earlier that day, I'd been watching a video of Crystal Methyd opening her mail and she got gloves with a similar print, so it felt meant to be. (Fabricland has a lot of photorealistic food prints in their quilting cottons and I live for it. Get you some photorealistic potatoes on your quilt.) The medical print was $27/metre and the sprinkle print was $29/metre so I only got a little bit of each 🥲 but I plan on making scrunchies and masks with them.

I also found this Barbie panel yesterday. I don't know what it's meant for since it only has the two designs on it, but I figured I'd make it into a tote bag, and I'm now realising it could be for a throw pillow. This was on clearance, so luckily it was only $5/panel. (There were more Barbie fabrics, but they weren't on sale and cost $35/metre, forget about it lol)

While I was getting those cut, my mom wandered off and found this fabric in a remnants bin. The label says it's made of unknown material, but it feels like a lighter version of canvas and is one of those home decor fabrics, so she wants me to make it into curtains for the kitchen. The photo is me holding it up like that to compare to the wall colour. My mom said something about "finding a pattern" and I didn't really know what she meant until a while after, when I realised she meant a pattern to cut and sew from, but... they're curtains... the pattern is a rectangle...

And since I mentioned Barbie earlier, I've had this fabric at home for probably 3 years now, and I bought it for making into a skirt but haven't gotten any fabrics to go with it so I can do the lining, waistband, etc. I tend to mumble to myself about the project in question while I get my fabrics cut, so when I got this one cut, I must've said something about the length down the leg or something, because the employee asked if I was making a child's dress and I had to tell her it was a skirt for myself lol

My great-aunt went into a nursing home a few months ago and she was a very crafty lady up until she stopped being able to do so (like, I've inherited what seems to be an Anne of Green Gables costume she made herself for teaching elementary school), so I've ended up with a lot of her sewing stuff as her sister, my mom, and their cousins have been working to clear out my great-aunt's belongings. Some of it is half-finished projects, some of it is leftover materials, and some of it is materials that are completely unused. We came across a dinosaur plushie that is nearly done, all she needed to do was close the seams, attach the limbs to the body, and add a face, so I wanna do that!! There's also these train engine buttons still in the complete set and my cousin works with trains, so I don't know whether to make something for him or for his young son, but maybe a lunch bag or something.

🧵 ✨ Lots of things to do ✨ 🧵

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ldhphotography · 1 year

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Here are some of the edited versions of my week 3 photoshoot. These were some of my favourites.

For this first photo, we went down to Silo park and my focus for this area was shadows. I knew there would be lots of shadows casting themselves onto buildings as it was around 5:30 at night so the sun was just getting low in the sky. I found this pole with an interesting pattern on it. I also liked the fact that it was yellow as it gave the image a pop of colour. The shadows being cast onto it and her face were from a nearby tree which I instantly wanted to capture.

For the second one we walked a little further down and I came across this wooden wall which also had cool shadows being cast onto it. I also liked the texture from the wooden wall as I felt this allowed for her to pop out from the background nicely. It was also really windy while I was taking these which at first I thought was going to cause problems with the shots, but then I realised it could make them more interesting and unexpected as her hair blowing in the breeze made for a more real and honest shot and some of the best images are the spontaneous more natural looking ones.

This red fence along by the water is so striking and I have always love the pop of red against the blue sky. For this one I wanted to experiment with depth of field and leading lines. I had a bit of technical difficulty when trying to blur the background, as that meant a smaller number therefore a bigger hole, however this obviously then let in more light which caused some of the images to become slightly over exposed. After playing round for some time, I finally got this one, which I like.

For the fourth image, we were just walking through Commercial Bay when I came across this arrow sign and I just wanted to see what I could do with it. I wanted to illuminate only part of her face without completely obscuring her which took quite a lot of playing around with settings, but we got there in the end.

This second to last image was taken at Seoul Night in the city. I wanted to capture the vibes of night life and I wanted to take a still image with a slight bit of motion blur to see what effect that could have on an image that would usually be fully still. I liked the slight blur effect of the straw when she moved her hand so I played round with that for a while. For this image, I had to be careful not to put the shutter so slow that too much light got in.

This final image is probably my favourite. I love the colours in it and I love the mood the shot generates. This sign was so fun to play around with. The way the blue and red light capture her side profile, I felt was pretty strong so this was probably the area I spent the most time shooting, as I was pretty happy with the turn outs.

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thegrazingblacksheep · 2 years

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So for Christmas of 2021, my Other Half surprised me with two tickets for the Hans Zimmer live show in Manchester, in the AO Arena. He hates driving in / around and even near to cities, but still did a heroic drive here from Cardiff.

After dropping off the car at our hotel called The niu Loom, we took an Uber to the Northern Quarter to grab a bite before the show, and we were heading to the What The Pitta. I was not that hungry, because we did a bold and sinful lunch in a Burger King somewhere on a motorway; so just went with some waffle fries. Other Half chose chicken nuggets, and he was quite satisfied with it.

I'm from a big city, and I miss them so much. Every time we visit anything bigger than Cardiff, I am flying in happiness, because I feel the sizzling city life, the sound of traffic, the view of lots of people are heading somewhere, which is always inspiring me to do stuff.

So I loved Manchester. All of those red bricked buildings, the Peaky Blinders vibe around, heavy traffic, and a Friday night looking Thursday night - happy days. I love when there are options: cafés, food, shops, trade - life, nah.

Getting in the AO Arena was actually quite well organised, apart from a guy from crowd management who said that the venue won't let me in with my 40cm x 20cm rucksack, and caused a smaller worry. But loads of people had their bags let through, and our security guy liked Other Half's beard, so we were fine.

Those who know Hans Zimmer's work, know. From Pirates of the Caribbean through Interstellar to Sherlock Holmes via the Lion King and Dune, he called many movies into life with amazing scores and themes. Impossible to express what this guy can do with instruments, singers and music patterns, honestly.

For those who don't know his works, I recommend a good quality - nothing less than at least a Sennheiser - headphones, a quiet corner, solitude, and decent volume to listen basically anything he wrote the score of. Okay, maybe start with the Dark Knight, or Inception...

It was lovely to see his crowd cheering for him, shouting in "We love you, Hans" many times. He was good, easy going, brilliant, and appreciated his musicians a lot.

So far, I kept Muse at Wembley (16th June, 2007) on the first place of all time live favourite, but sorry guys, Hans took over tonight. I know they are not even comparable, but what can you expect from someone who shuffles a playlist which has Fleshgod Apocalypse, Muse, Lana del Rey, random-heroic-obscure-metal-band, classical music and the Tron (Daft Punk version)... Nevermind.

I found it quite a big moment when he expressed his appreciation for Ukraine, highlighting that some from his orchestra are from Ukraine. Two seconds later the whole Manchester Arena stood up without asking, clapping and giving a moment for them. I don't think I will ever forget this. Thank you, Maestro.

Also, he effortlessly opened different dimensions with his music as well. Especially during Paul's Dream from Dune and then Leah Zeger with the Interstellar.

I find it pointless to write about it, because this experience is something that you have to go through at least once in your life. It is impossible to describe and explain it, because it is music, and that is above everything, really. Just grab the previously mentioned headset and a random Hans Zimmer playlist, and you will know what I mean.

I wish the show never ended... But it did, and after a super kind Uber driver dropped us off at the hotel, we were still somewhere in one of those HansZimmerian dimensions, not realising that we submitted a Uber Eats order 5 minutes before the restaurant's closing time. We were not sure we will get it, but it turned up eventually, big thank you for that! Was a tiny bit different than to what we ordered, but we didn't really mind.

What a day! Seeing, hearing Hans Zimmer's live show. Honestly, I will never forget this.

Update: sorry, when I started writing this post, it seemed a good idea. But I realised how impossible is to write a review about a live music event - simply pointless :) You have to be there, that's it!

#hans zimmer #manchester #pauls dream #dune #pirates of the caribbean #live music #music #lion king #uber eats #dimensions #arena #classical #northern quarter

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demonsandco · 3 years

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hi!! i was wondering if you could do a headcannon of the brothers + dia, barb and simeon reacting to mc asking if they could do it in their demon/angel forms?

I sure hope that by “demon form” you meant my version of their forms, because only after I finished writing, did I remember that they have canonical demon forms, too, woops! But Simeon doesn’t have a non-human form in-game so hopefully I was right gjhfkfjh

Lucifer : It’s a rare occurrence to see Lucifer speechless, yet somehow they’ve managed to stun him into silence with a single request. Being intimate in his demon form isn’t something that’s even crossed his mind before, not seeing his true form as anything more than a tool for intimidation. With too many eyes, elongated limbs, and crisscrossing scars highlighted by patches of missing feathers, he truly doesn’t understand what they see in him to pick that over his much more palatable, human form. Yet, despite his initial shock and hesitance, he can’t find it in him to deny their request. If they really want to see his true form, especially in such an intimate setting, then he’ll humor them, but the entire time he’s preparing himself for some sort of rejection, expecting them to flinch away from his touch or to ask him to switch back. He’s astonishingly vulnerable in this form, and craves a positive reaction from them.

(cont under the cut)

Mammon : When he hears their request, Mammon’s relief is palpable. Having sex in his human from has always felt distant to him, as though he were wearing a costume or a skin tight suit. He’s desperate to feel their hands on his demon form, often fantasising about how their hands would feel running across his wings or buried in his feathers, but, while he may have not so subtly hinted at his desires in the past, he’s never had the courage to initiate such a thing himself. He’s immensely excited about their request, so excited in fact that he’s prepared to stop whatever he was doing and drag them off to somewhere private to have his way with them. It also encourages him to spend more time in his demon form around them, now that he knows that it won’t scare them away.

Leviathan : Levi’s knee-jerk reaction is to say no right off the bat. As much as he trusts his partner, he can’t help but think that there’s some sort of ulterior motive behind the request, refusing to believe that anyone would actually want to see his demon form, much less touch it in such an intimate way. While his true form grants him confidence and immeasurable power, in a relationship, it becomes his biggest insecurity. It takes a lot of patience and encouragement to convince him to go through with it, and even then he’s hesitant to even touch them, worried that they’ll think he’s creepy or gross and change their mind. It doesn’t help that he’s practically useless on land and that they’d need to join him in the water to comfortably have sex. He’s understandably nervous, but praise and affection go a long way in easing his worries, and once he gets a taste of how nice it feels, he finds himself asking them to be intimate in his demon form more often.

Satan : Satan isn’t all that surprised by their request. In fact, he’d been expecting it to come up sooner or later. After all, he wants to know every intimate detail about his partner, to see them in their most vulnerable state, so he assumes that they’d eventually want to get to know his true form intimately, as well. He feels some anxiety, of course, his demon form not exactly being human friendly, all rough skin and sharp edges, but he does a good job at keeping his fears at bay and enjoying the moment. It feels freeing, in a way, to have them accept him so readily, to allow something as monstrous as him so close in such a vulnerable moment. With every soft touch of their hands and kiss from their lips, he finds himself falling in love all over again. He craves their acceptance, and the fact that they can see him at his worst and still show him love speaks volumes.

Asmodeus : As much as he wants to tease his partner for having such a lewd suggestion, or to think of it as a chance to introduce them to something new and pleasurable, the only thing Asmo feels at their request is genuine fear. There is very little that he’s afraid of, but the idea of them rejecting him is terrifying, and he’s convinced himself that no one could possibly love him if they saw his true form. He’s very calculated in what parts of his demon form he lets people see, making sure he looks cute and unassuming at all times. He has no problems showing those parts of him to his partner, but the rest of his demon form isn’t anywhere near as cutesy, and he doesn’t want them to associate him with such an “ugly” appearance. Yet at the same time, he wants to be able to be himself around them, to have them see the parts of him that he’s kept hidden. It takes a lot of worry and hesitation, before he finally shows them his true form during sex, the shared lust giving him the push he needed. He’s so prepared for a negative response that their positive reaction is enough to make him melt against them.

Beelzebub : It’s not uncommon for Beel to be seen in a not quite human form around the house, his wings and horns unconsciously coming out while he eats or works out. Knowing this, he’s surprised that his partner has seen those parts of him and instead of being scared, they want to see more. He’s not the type of person to hide who he is to make himself more palatable. He trusts them to know what they want, and he takes their request at face value. At first, he didn’t think too much of it, but the moment he feels them touch his true form, watches them search for his most sensitive areas, he becomes addicted to the feeling. The fact that he’s even bigger than normal in this form excites him more than he thought it would, too, his massive frame making his partner seem tiny in comparison. Needless to say, he finds himself letting his demon form out during sex more often, both because he wants to feel their touch again and because he finds it more comfortable.

Belphegor : Belphie is genuinely surprised that they’d want anything to do with his demon form after how badly things went the first time they saw it. Hearing that they not only want to see it again, but that they want to see it in such a vulnerable moment is a relief to him. He’s always thought that actions speak louder than words, and he sees their request as a sign of trust, something he values greatly. He’s more than happy to show them his demon form, to let them explore his body and create new, much more enjoyable, memories. He also takes it as an invitation to show his demon form more often, taking every opportunity he can to let out his horns as he cuddles up to them or conveniently resting his tail within petting range. Now that he knows they’re not scared of his appearance, he wants them to associate his form with positive and intimate moments.

Diavolo : Diavolo is positively ecstatic to hear their request! He’s wanted to don his true form while being intimate with them since the start of their relationship, but he’s held back out of worry, not wanting to risk frightening them. Truthfully, he’s not too fond of maintaining a human appearance for so long, and he’s almost too excited to let out his demonic features. Hopefully, they had nothing else planned for the day, because he’s already got them wrapped up in his many wings, with his scaly face pressed against their neck. He plans to take his time with them, practically acting as though it was their first time together again, treating them like a priceless treasure in his clawed grasp, showing them everything he can do in his true form that a human could never hope to accomplish.

Barbatos : Barbatos has been waiting for them to ask this for quite a while, and he can’t keep the small smile off his face when they finally do. While he’s perfectly comfortable in his human form, he feels as though it greatly limits his abilities in the bedroom, and he hates to think that he’s not pleasing them to the best of his abilities. He knows that his true form isn’t something a human would be used to, though, so he waited until they were confident enough to bring it up themselves. He sees it as taking the next step in their relationship in a way, knowing that they not only are willing to accept him for what he is, but that they embrace it. With his extra limbs, slick tail and long, powerful tongue, he’s more than happy to show them how much more skilled he is at servicing them in this form, and he’s also surprised to realise just how sensitive his demonic appendages are.

Simeon : It’s rare for Simeon to feel the need to turn his partner down, but he finds himself initially denying their request when they first ask, coming up with some half baked excuses in an attempt to avoid hurting their feelings. Humans never seem to react well to an angel’s true form and he can’t bear to see them regard him with fear, especially not during such an intimate moment. While his angelic appearance may not be as monstrous as a demons, the extra limbs, many eyes and inhumanly tall frame are more than enough to make him look rather disconcerting. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t like the thought of hiding his true form from them, leaving him conflicted. With enough reassurance, he eventually feels comfortable enough showing them bits and pieces of his angel form at a time, and each night they spend together his human form slips away a bit more. At first it’s just his wings, letting his partner run their hands over his sensitive feathers and getting used to the extra limbs, before slowly showing them more of him. Soon enough, he reaches a point where letting out his angel form around them is like a habit, feeling like it makes their time spent together feel more intimate, especially now that he knows his looks alone won’t scare them away.

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #rip sol he's just a regular ol human #angel form #demon form #obey me headcanons #lime time

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ddudumemes · 2 years

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FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION) SENTENCE STARTERS PART ONE

(( collection of ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY SEVEN sentence starters taken from TRACKS 1 - 13 of TAYLOR SWIFT’S album ‘ FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION) ’ . ))

001. FEARLESS . ‘ there’s something ‘bout the way the street looks when it’s just rained . ’ ‘ you know , i wanna ask you to dance . ’ ‘ you’re just so cool . ’ ‘ i don’t know how it gets better than this . ’ ‘ i don’t know why but with you i’d dance in a storm in my best dress . ’ ‘ baby , drive slow , ‘til we run out of road . ’ ‘ i wanna stay right here . ’ ‘ in this moment now , capture it , remember it . ’ ‘ i’m not usually this way . ’ ‘ it’s flawless , really something . ’ ‘ it’s fearless . ’

002. FIFTEEN . ‘ it’s the morning of your very first day . ’ ‘ try and stay out of everybody’s way . ’ ‘ you’re gonna be here for the next four years in this town . ’ ‘ you know i haven’t seen you around before . ’ ‘ when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you , you’re gonna believe them . ’ ‘ count to ten . ’ ‘ take it in . ’ ‘ this is life before you know who you’re gonna be . ’ ‘ we’ll be outta here as soon as we can . ’ ‘ in your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team . ’ ‘ i didn’t know it at fifteen . ’ ‘ all you wanted was to be wanted . ’ ‘ back then i swore i was gonna marry him someday . ’ ‘ i realised some bigger dreams of mine . ’ ‘ don’t forget to look before you fall . ’ ‘ i’ve found time can heal most anything . ’ ‘ you just might find who you’re supposed to be . ’ ‘ i didn’t know who i was supposed to be at fifteen . ’ ‘ take a deep breath . ’

003. LOVE STORY . ‘ we were both young when i first saw you . ’ ‘ my daddy said “ stay away from juliet ” . ’ ‘ i was crying on the staircase . ’ ‘ please don’t go . ’ ‘ romeo , take me somewhere we can be alone . ’ ‘ i’ll be waiting , all there’s left to do is run . ’ ‘ you’ll be the prince and i’ll be the princess . ’ ‘ baby , just say “ yes ” . ’ ‘ keep quiet , ‘cause we’re dead if they knew . ’ ‘ you were everything to me . ’ ‘ they’re trying to tell me how to feel . ’ ‘ this love is difficult , but it’s real . ’ ‘ don’t be afraid , we’ll make it out of this mess . ’ ‘ i got tired of waiting . ’ ‘ my faith in you was fading . ’ ‘ i’ve been feeling so alone . ’ ‘ i keep waiting for you , but you never come . ’ ‘ is this in my head ?? ’ ‘ marry me . ’ ‘ you’ll never have to be alone . ’ ‘ i love you and that’s all i really know . ’

004. HEY STEPHEN . ‘ i know looks can be deceiving . ’ ‘ i know i saw a light in you . ’ ‘ you might have me believing i don’t always have to be alone . ’ ‘ i can’t help it if you look like an angel . ’ ‘ can’t help it if i wanna kiss you in the rain . ’ ‘ come feel this magic i’ve been feeling since i met you . ’ ‘ i can’t help myself . ’ ‘ i’ve got some things to say to you . ’ ‘ i’ve seen it all , so i thought , but i’ve never seen somebody shine the way you do . ’ ‘ don’t you ever change . ’ ‘ why are people always leaving ?? i think you and i should stay the same . ’ ‘ you’re perfect for me . ’ ‘ why aren’t you here tonight ?? ’ ‘ i could give you fifty reasons why i should be the one you choose . ’

005. WHITE HORSE . ‘ say you’re sorry . ’ ‘ that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to . ’ ‘ i honestly believed in you . ’ ‘ stupid girl , i should’ve known . ’ ‘ i’m not a princess , this ain’t a fairytale . ’ ‘ i’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet . ’ ‘ this ain’t hollywood . ’ ‘ i was a dreamer before you went and let me down . ’ ‘ it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around . ’ ‘ maybe i was naive . ’ ‘ my mistake , i didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand . ’ ‘ there you are on your knees . begging for forgiveness , begging for me . ’ ‘ i’m not your princess . ’ ‘ i’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well . ’ ‘ it’s too late to catch me now . ’

006. YOU BELONG WITH ME . ‘ you’re on the phone with your girlfriend . ’ ‘ she doesn’t get your humour like i do . ’ ‘ she’ll never know your story like i do . ’ ‘ dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time . ’ ‘ if you could see that i’m the one that understands you . ’ ‘ why can’t you see , you belong with me ?? ’ ‘ i can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be . ’ ‘ hey , isn’t this easy ?? ’ ‘ you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town . ’ ‘ you say you’re fine , i know you better than that . ’ ‘ have you ever thought just maybe .. you belong with me ?? ’ ‘ you belong with me . ’

007. BREATHE . ‘ none of us thought it was gonna end that way . ’ ‘ people are people and sometimes we change our minds . ’ ‘ it’s killing me to see you go after all this time . ’ ‘ i don’t know what to be without you around . ’ ‘ you’re the only thing i know like the back of my hand . ’ ‘ i can’t breathe without you but i have to . ’ ‘ never wanted this , never wanna see you hurt . ’ ‘ people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out . ’ ‘ nothing we say is gonna save us from the fallout . ’ ‘ hope you know it’s not easy for me . ’ ‘ no one’s here to save me . ’ ‘ i’m sorry . ’

008. TELL ME WHY . ‘ you might think i’m bulletproof , but i’m not . ’ ‘ down here from the ground , i see who you are . ’ ‘ i’m sick and tired of your attitude . ’ ‘ i’m feeling like i don’t know you . ’ ‘ you tell me that you love me , then cut me down . ’ ‘ i need you like a heartbeat . ’ ‘ you know , you got a mean streak . ’ ‘ here’s to you and your temper . ’ ‘ yes , i remember what you said last night . ’ ‘ i know that you see what you’re doing to me . ’ ‘ tell me why . ’ ‘ you could write a book on how to ruin someone’s perfect day . ’ ‘ i got no one to believe in . ’ ‘ you tell me that you want me , then push me around . ’ ‘ why do you have to make me feel small ?? ’ ‘ you ask me for my love then you push me around . ’ ‘ i let you go . ’

009. YOU’RE NOT SORRY . ‘ i’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down . ’ ‘ it’s taken me this long , baby , but i’ve figured you out . ’ ‘ you’re thinking we’ll be fine again , but not this time around . ’ ‘ you don’t have to call anymore , i won’t pick up the phone . ’ ‘ this is the last straw . ’ ‘ don’t wanna hurt anymore . ’ ‘ you can tell me that you’re sorry but i don’t believe you , baby , like i did before . ’ ‘ you’re not sorry . ’ ‘ you’re looking so innocent , i might believe you if i didn’t know . ’ ‘ you’ve got your share of secrets and i’m tired of being last to know . ’ ‘ and now you’re asking me to listen ‘cause it’s worked each time before . ’ ‘ you used to shine so bright , but i watched all of it fade . ’ ‘ this is the last straw , there’s nothing left to beg for . ’

010. THE WAY I LOVED YOU . ‘ all my single friends are jealous . ’ ‘ he says everything i need to hear . ’ ‘ i couldn’t ask for anything better . ’ ‘ you look beautiful tonight . ’ ‘ i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain . ’ ‘ it’s 2am and i’m cursing your name . ’ ‘ you’re so in love that you act insane , and that’s the way i loved you . ’ ‘ it’s a rollercoaster kind of rush . ’ ‘ i never knew i could feel that much . ’ ‘ that’s the way i loved you . ’ ‘ he’s charming and endearing and i’m comfortable . ’ ‘ he can’t see the smile i’m faking , and my heart’s not breaking , ‘cause i’m not feeling at all . ’

011. FOREVER AND ALWAYS . ‘ you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me . were you just kidding ?? ’ ‘ we almost never speak . ’ ‘ i don’t feel welcome anymore . ’ ‘ baby , what happened ?? please tell me . ’ ‘ one second it was perfect , now you’re halfway out the door . ’ ‘ you feel so low you can’t feel nothing at all . ’ ‘ he said “ forever and always ” . ’ ‘ it rains when you’re here and it rains when you’re gone . ’ ‘ i was there when you said “ forever and always ” . ’ ‘ was i out of line ?? ’ ‘ did i say something way too honest ?? ’ ‘ thought i knew you for a minute now i’m not so sure . ’ ‘ you didn’t mean it , baby . ’ ‘ did you forget everything ?? ’ ‘ we said “ forever and always ” . ’

012. THE BEST DAY . ‘ i don’t know why all the trees change in the fall . ’ ‘ i know you’re not scared of anything at all . ’ ‘ i know i had the best day with you today . ’ ‘ i don’t know who i’m gonna talk to now at school . ’ ‘ don’t know how long it’s gonna take to feel okay . ’ ‘ i have an excellent father , his strength is making me stronger . ’ ‘ god smiles on my little brother , inside and out he’s better than i am . ’ ‘ you’re the prettiest lady in the whole wide world . ’ ‘ now i know why all the trees change in the fall . ’ ‘ i know you were on my side , even when i was wrong . ’ ‘ i didn’t know if you knew , so i’m taking this chance to say , that i had the best day with you today . ’

013. CHANGE . ‘ somebody else gets what you wanted again . ’ ‘ i believe in whatever you do , and i’ll do anything to see it through . ’ ‘ these things will change . ’ ‘ these walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down . ’ ‘ it’s a revolution . ’ ‘ the time will come for us to finally win . ’ ‘ it’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair . ’ ‘ they might be bigger , but we’re faster and never scared . ’ ‘ there’s something in your eyes says we can beat this . ’ ‘ fight for what we’ve worked for all these years . ’ ‘ it’s the fight of our lives . ’ ‘ we’ll stand up champions tonight . ’ ‘ the walls that they put up to hold us back fell down . ’ ‘ we never gave in . ’

#fearless taylors version ask meme #taylor swift meme #taylor swift ask meme #sentence starters #rp starters #music starters #lyric starters #rp meme #rp prompt #rp prompts

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alpines-bucky · 3 years

Text

No one said Starks weren't a little dramatic

This is the first time I write Tony x daughter reader I hope you guys like it :)

Word Count: 2319 ( Things got a bit out of my hands while I was editing and eventhough it's edited I can't promise that there aren't any typos and I dtill wasn't satisfied with what I wrote but 🤷‍♀️Ig )

Warnings: Major character death, a lot of angst

Y/N loses her dad when he decides to save the universe with a snap of his fingers but when did anyone see a Stark not getting what they want? Let me answer for you, Never. ( AKA Y/N gambles with time and space and universes surprisingly there isn't any VA involved cause in my opinion they suck to save her dad but apparently there are always consequences)

Y/N had arrived at her destination albeit being a little late. She wanted to be there when the team tried to go back in time to get the Stones in hopes of saving aunt Tasha too but she had one and only shot at this so she had to make do with what she had. What she didn’t realise was she accidentally changed universes instead of going back in time.

The way she found out that the place she had arrived wasn’t when or where she intented to was Morgan, the little girl with big Brown eyes who had total control over her older sister the second they met. Y/N had to lay low and do her research before approaching them. But when she heard about Morgan she had to meet her before doing what she came to do. And that’s exactly what she did.

She found Morgan in a house by the lake with a woman who she assumed was Pepper.Her visit was short since she couldn’t afford getting caught by Pepper which would mean jeopardising the whole plan she had spent months making. She left a message for her dad before going off to save the man itself.

Her dad was fighting with Thanos when she arrived to the scene. The more she looked around the more it looked like the place she fought along with her dad and that meant one thing, she had to act quick.

‘’I am inevitable’’ Thanos said as he snapped his finger but nothing happened. Confused, he looked at his gauntlet to find that the Stones that were there a minute ago were no longer in their places. He looked around to see that Tony had them somehow.

‘’And I’m Iron Man’’ said Tony full of emotions as he was about to snap his fingers. He thought having all six Stones in his hands would kill him being a mortal and he was fine with it if that meant she could ensure his family’s security but he felt nothing. He thought he had died instantly but he found out that wasn’t the case when he got startled by an unknown voice.

‘’Oh, the hell with that!’’ said a girl who wore a similar suit to Tony’s. She seemed to appear out of nowhere. Which confused both man further.

‘’Who the hell are you?’’ asked Tony. Who the hell was mad enough decided to mess up the only chance of him stopping the big purple psycho of a man.

‘’Who do you think?’’ said the girl, winking at him confidentally but her eyes told a different story. There was sadness in them, grief and loss but it seemed like she was happy at the same time.What surprised him was the familiarity she carried but he couldn’t put his finger on it. So he searched her suit for some clues which led up to him finding the Stones. She was the reason he was not dead, she somehow got possession of the Stones.

‘’Kid, no!’’ yelled Tony. He attempted to get closer to her but she snapped her fingers before he could stop her. Everything stilled for a second. The other avengers thought Tony had done it as Thanos’ soldiers had started to turn to dust all of a sudden but when they found a girl that they’ve never seen before in the arms of Tony with fetal injuries they were puzzled. They gathered around Tony and the girl who struggled tos tay alive.

‘’I made it! I… I saved you, Dad.’’Tony was shocked at her words. He was processing what he heard as Pepper landed next to them and kneeled. They couldn’t Wrap their heads around what was happening but they both were not going to let a dying kid down for sure.

She had a difficulty breathing, she was in agonizing pain but she had a peaceful smile on her face. She tried to lift her hand but it pained her more, she whimpered. Tony sensed her intentions and put her hand on his cheek for her. He put his hand on top of her, gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘’Friday, what do we have?’’ asked Tony.

‘’3 to 4 degree burns from her right hand up to her face. Internal bleeding. Her lungs are collapsing... Life functions critical.’’ Answered the voice from both of the suits. Pepper grimaced, she didn’t know who this girl was but she had sacrificed herself for Tony, the man she referred ‘dad’. ‘’Who are you?’’ asked Pepper.

‘’I’m–‘’ she coughed, blood was pooling in her mouth. ‘’I’m surprised you couldn’t figure it out yet…’’ she let out a bloody laugh. ‘’I’m Y/N. Y/N Stark.’’ She said with her last breath. That shook the whole group to their cores. The girl wasn’t lying or confusing Tony with someone else. The girl who lied in his Tony’s arms nonbreathing was infact the daughter of Tony Stark. From the moment they realised the truth everything was a blur to the Stark Family and the avengers.

Y/N was Tony’s first daughter who had died in a cross fire 7 years ago. She was a teenager at the time. She would have been a few years older than Peter if she had lived. It was a wrong place wrong time type of situation, she had died on the scene. Tony had nightmares after that, his insomnia got worse. He had blamed himself although it had nothing to do with him. The guilt ate him alive day by day. He realised why the girl’s eyes were so familiar to him now, she was his Y/N/N. A grown, older version of her, but his Y/N nontheless.

He didn’t think he could recover from her death but losing her, seeing her die in his arms for the second time ruined him. He had no idea what was happening outside of his head, he was in a trance, he had stayed still looking at his hands where Y/N laid. Until his little girl, Morgan came up to him with a disk in hand and said ‘’Daddy! Daddy! A girl called Y/N wanted me to give this to you’’ That got everyone’s attention.

Tony told Friday to scan the disk and display whatever is in it. When he saw Y/N in front of her, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling and when she started speaking as if she could see her Tony lost it. He couldn’t hear her because of his own sobs, he didn’t even realised the rest of the avengers and his wife as they piled in the room when they heard Tony and Y/N’s voice. He had to stop the hologram a few times to gather himself. When he got control of his breathing, he built up his courage and displayed it all over again.

‘’Hey dad. I’m assuming since you are watching this I suceed. I’ve saved you.’’ She had to stop for a second to take a breath in to compose herself. ‘This time’ she said under her breath but Friday caught it.

‘’You are wondering how the hell I am alive. Well… For starters, I didn’t know that I was dead in this world which… makes you realise that I’m not from this world. I’m actually from what you call an alternative universe. Things got out of hand in my universe after… after you… Oh shit! This is too hard. I knew I couldn’t do this shit! I can’t even talk to my own god damn suit picturing it as my hypothetical dad without messing it up’’ that made a few people chuckle and a few others tos mile. The girl really was his father’s child after all.

‘’Okay I’m hoping you either won’t have to watch this or I can cut that part before giving it to Morgan. Anyways, I’m rambling.’’ Tony saw his younger self in Y/N which put a sad smile to his face. This was something he never got to experience before. To see her this grown up. To see a pieces of him in her.

‘’ So things went down hill after you did the whole ‘I’m Iron Man’ thing –which by the way I’m still mad at you about- You… You died in my hands, dad.’’ She gulped. She had begun crying a while ago but now that she was talking about her dad’s death, she felt like the lump in her throat got bigger and bigger, suffocating her. ‘’ I was all alone for years! You were all I had and then within a second you were gone! I didn’t have anyone else!’’ She tried to calm herself. She wasn’t recording this to make him feel guilty or get answers she was possibly never going to hear. This was a goodbye. A goodbye she knew he deserved just like how she did from him.

‘’That’s why I made the decision to change it but I accidentally changed universes instead of going back in time. But this was my only chance, only shot at making it right. And then I found out that I had died in this universe and you had moved on. Good for you, dad. I’m really proud of you. You did what I couldn’t. It was a relief to know that you were happy and that you had a family now. I thought for a second that maybe the blip didn’t happen. That in this universe, you had a lovely life and I thought for a second maybe I could be in it too. Stay with you but that hope was shortly lived.’’ She gave a sad smile.

‘’And now I’m about to go to the battle field. Before I go, I have to say, I don’t know how if there is any way for me to stop you. I can’t take it all back but I will do anything to not let another girl grow up without her dad. And I ain’t going to let my own sister down. Oh, did you know that I always wanted a sister?’’ she chuckled making Tony’s heart warm. It has been so long since he heard his daughter chuckle the damn way he does. She stopped for a second to think ‘’Well, she has the Stark charm, that’s for sure. I only knew her for a few hours and she had me the second we met. I wish I could be there for her as her older sister. I would give anything to see her grow up but if that has to be for only one of us to see, I’d rather that be you because I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to lose your dad. I could see clearly what she would have to go through and the moment I realised that I knew what I had to do. I would stop you at all costs and since this reacording is being played I could sleep peacefully knowing she has you.’’ She smiled with tears escaping her eyes once again. Tony was full of emotions. His daughter he has been longing for years was right in front of him but way too far away at the same time.

With a sigh she started ‘’ You have people you can hold on to. I never did. Pepper, Morgan, Rhodey, the spider kid... Hold on to them Tony. Hold on to the team. Oh, speaking of the team, tell them I love them and I missed them so badly. I’m sorry. I thought I was going to have more time to talk And maybe if a miracle happens and we all can manage to stay alive I could tell you all about it but I have to go now. Have an old man to save’’ She saluted and looked around right where the broken team of Avengers were with longing in her eyes. She moved closer to the disk to cut the recording but decided against it the last second. Tony hung his head, his heart broke to hear the hope in her voice when he knew what already happened. He thought this was the end of the recording but he looked up when he heard her talking and she had turned to him and looked right at him as if she knew where he was stated. That sent shivers up Tony’s spine.

‘’I know you think I made the wrong decision but I saved you. I refuse to let you down once again. I refuse to see you die in front of me once again. I’m not sorry for what I’m about to do, I knew the consequences when I made this plan months ago. I’m only sorry because although I tried so much to have the future we always talked about with you, I won’t be able to, Tones. But Morgan will be. And I would give up anything for that little girl. And for you.’’ She said as she caressed the necklace Tony gave her when she was a child. She took the chain out of her neck and put it somewhere Tony couldn’t see. And Tony knew this was only a tape but he tried to hold on to his daughter, to stop her from going out there. His breath caught in his throat when his hands went through Y/N’s body. He fell to his knees.

‘’ But hey if it turns out that I, this badass manage to get both of us home in one peace one we can laugh our asses off as we watch me being the drama queen that I am… Well, no one said Starks weren’t a bit dramatic.’’ The heart Tony thought had broken to a million pieces broke further as he heard the tremble in her voice as she tried to put her brave face on. But she couldn’t hide it when one last tear escaped from her slightly swollen eyes as she ended the recording.

Why do I never have good endings? Cause I write in the middle of the night when I feel sad most of the time and it's easier to write sad than it is to write happy.

I hope you liked it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. I'd also like to discuss if you'd like the alternative ending that could be a happy one :)

#avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers endgame #tony x daughter!reader #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fanfic #tony fanfiction #tony fanfic #stark reader #tony x reader #tony x you #tony x y/n #tony stark #avenger reader #avengers fic #marvel fic

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emiewritesthings · 3 years

Text

doctor, doctor - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n takes it into her own hands to look after a sick jay

a/n: i’m not gonna lie i think this is one of my fav things i’ve ever written, i would really appreciate some feedback and p.s the beginning of it is based on that scene from brooklyn 99 :)

masterlist

“okay, it’s 10 o’clock, meaning halstead is officially an hour late to work,” y/n announced as she appeared from the break room with a mug of poorly made coffee. looking around, she had immediately distracted everyone in the room with her playful smile. “okay let’s do this, theories!” she encouraged, taking a sip with excitement, but immediately regretting it as s he spat it back in the mug and abandoned it on adam’s desk as she leant against it.

“uh, he forgot to set his alarm?” antonio suggested, willing to play along with the little game that y/n had created. however clearly his answer didn’t suffice as y/n scrunched up her nose and shook her head in disappointment.

“you are a detective in a unit that just last week rescued 5 people kidnapped and used as chess pieces in a human sized version of the game and the best you could come up with is he forgot to set his alarm? pfft, disappointing, dawson. who’s willing to take this seriously?” she scoffed, brushing his idea off with a simple roll of the eyes as the group laughed at her ridiculousness.

“maybe he has been murdered by a gang looking for revenge.” adam piped up, earning a sudden and rather forceful slap on the back as y/n cheered. her eyes looking over at antonio as she gestured towards the less experienced detective.

“yes, that’s what i’m talking about. bit dark, ruzek, but better than dawson’s,” y/n hummed, adam clearly pleased with the praise he had received by the pretty detective. “any one else wanna shot?” she offered it out into the room, suddenly the sound of rolling wheels on the chair had everyone turn to face al who was munching on a ham sandwich.

“he walked into the middle of a drug ring, slept with the kingpins daughter and is now having limbs removed, one by the hour.” suddenly an eery silence fell in the bullpen as al suddenly disappeared back to his desk and everyone was left with an image that she was sure was burned on the inside of everyones mind.

“uh, okay, someone might want to arrange a psych check for olinsky asap,” y/n mumbled, pointing in the direction where he had once been and looking around as if checking that she hadn’t been the only one to hear al’s suggestion. “anyways, all of you are wrong. clearly he has joined a motorbike gang and now makes his money on the road striking off names on the government’s hit list.”

just as the room erupted into discussion about how idiotic this conversation was, as well as their ideas, the sound of footsteps caught y/n’s attention as she arrived at her desk. however as he reached the floor, the reason for his absence was clear.

“woah, you look like death.” adam chuckled, it immediately being silenced as jay sent a deadly glare his way. with his skin paler than normal with undertones of green, a layer of sweat draped over his forehead. jay flashed as smile at y/n as he passed, reaching his desk and collapsing on his chair with a wince.

as everyone went back to what they were doing, y/n found herself straying her eyes away from her computer screen for longer and longer periods of time until she found herself by his side with a sickly sweet grin, pun intended.

“i don’t wanna hear it, y/l/n.” jay mumbled, massaging his temples with his fingers hoping it would somehow sooth his pounding skull. whilst usually he had every minute of his day just to hear the woman chat away about whatever crossed her mind, he had found himself in quite the state since last night, leaving him restless and irritable.

“believe it or not, i just wanted to make sure you were alright,” y/n’s entire demeanour crumbled as she melted at the soft features of his face that came with being so vulnerable. but from the look in jay’s eyes, it was clear he didn’t 100% believe her excuse. “and to ask what the hell you think you are doing here? you are sick jay, you need to rest.”

it was very rare that jay found himself ill. in the years that y/n had been working by the man’s side, she could count on one hand the times she had seen him with so much as a cough. in fact she had called him captain immune system for a period of time when she realised he was pretty much indestructible. y/n couldn’t deny the concern bubbling in her gut seeing him so weak.

“i’m fine,” with her eyes slitted in a look that practically shouted ‘bullshit’, jay continued. “i promise, it’s just a little cold. nothing serious, i think i’ll survive.” he joked dryly, finding it incredibly hard to look away from y/n for her eyes were filled with a warmth that he knew was an expression usually saved for those she cared deeply about.

“yeah well, you need to take care of yourself, jay, i’m being serious. chicago can cope if you just have one day off, get your energy back.”

y/n was reminded of the times she had the exact same words spoken to her by the exact person that didn’t seem to want to take them onboard. every time she had so much as a sniffle he would be straight over with some soup that his mother used to swear by and the name of a box set that he would put on for the two of them to watch as he sat stroking her hair in order to try and convince her body to rest. neither of them had anyone else to take care of them, so had taken it upon themselves to be that person for the other.

“now, i’m gonna go tell voight that i’m taking you home before you infect this whole office.” before he could object, she had already ran (not literally but jay was impressed by her speed walking) to her boss’ office. knocking on the door, with a sweet smile and a sea of words running off her tongue so quickly that voight had to agree just to shut her up, y/n returned by his side. “come on, germ face, your carriage awaits.”

“you know i love it when you talk dirty to me, y/l/n.” winking at her, y/n giggled as she supported him back down the stairs and out of the station. the two chatted away, y/n explaining how she thought al was secretly a sociopath and jay filing her in on the newest instalment of his apartment block drama until they pulled up in front of jay’s apartment building.

as they walked through the door, jay’s arm resting around y/n’s shoulders as he struggled to find strength, they managed to reach the sofa before y/n’s body gave up. both of them letting out large breathes before looking at each other and falling into laughter.

“you hungry, i could try making your mom’s soup?” y/n asked, as she pushed herself up to look down at the man. her hair falling down around her face and tickling jay’s skin. “i’m sure it won’t be as good as her’s but i’m willing to give it a try.”

the way she was sat with the large window gleaming light behind her, y/n almost looked like an angel. her eyes and smile were wide, with her beauty wrapping its hands around jay’s neck squeezing until his head felt light and he nearly reached up to touch her porcelain skin. but jay had noticed the sensation way before he was blocked up with a cold.

“yeah, uh, that sounds nice.” jay agreed with a minimal amount of sass, but y/n didn’t seem to notice as she moved off the cushions and towards the kitchen. she had pretty much memorised the recipe when jay had finally given it to her on her birthday after offering to pay for it multiple times. whizzing around the kitchen, she was too busy to notice the tired eyes admiring her from afar.

jay wished his mom was alive to see the woman that she would have loved. all the times he had brought girls back to his family when he was younger didn’t add up to an ounce of the beauty and power that y/n held in her middle finger. the way she bit back at his wit, but also had the ability to spot when he was upset from the other side of the city. she was everything her mother wanted in a daughter in law, everything she wanted for her little boy.

“okay, give me your honest opinion. i can take it i promise.” y/n sudden appeared with a tray that held a large bowl of the semi-thick orange liquid, a glass of water and a couple pills. approaching jay, she carefully helped him up from where he laid and placed it onto his lap. “actually that was a complete lie, do not tell me the truth. i may just cry.”

“why thank you, nurse y/l/n.” he teased.

“it’s doctor actually.” she quipped back.

jay chuckled lowly, as he grabbed the spoon and took a large spoonful to his mouth. feeling the slight sting of his tongue at the heat, it was only when the flavours hit that he was suddenly transported to an earlier time in his life. a simpler time. only this time there was y/n by his side.

“the verdict?” she prompted, taking a seat besides him, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“not sure whether i want to tell you, don’t think you’ll fit in this room if your ego grows any bigger.” y/n grinned as she leaned over to press a kiss against his shoulder. jay closed his eyes at the contact, feeling the ache in his body freeze for a moment as it registered the tingling sensation. “all jokes aside, it really is good.”

“i’m glad, your mother was a smart woman.” she nodded, leaning forward to turn tv on. jay continued to spoon the soup into his mouth, as y/n chose a show that they both had started together and had refused to watch another minute without the other. y/n leaned back making herself comfortable, having already texted voight telling him that she would most likely need the entire day off, and getting the go ahead, she had no plans other than being by jay’s side for the next however many hours.

it was sometime in the early evening and the tv continued to emit light, but neither jay nor y/n was paying any attention to the drama. jay, with his head on y/n lap, was leaning into her touch as her short, thin fingers ran through the dark strands that sprouted from his scalp. his body wrapped in a blanket that y/n had grabbed from his room, he felt completely at peace.

“you know what, i think you are more bearable when you are at death’s door.” y/n joked quietly, as the forest green eyes were exposed back to her own. jay groaned in annoyance, realising that there was no sweet y/n without the sharped tongue y/n. a trait he adored, but at his own expense.

“and to think i was starting to think you had gone soft on me, y/l/n.” he hummed, wishing he could forever have her giggle on repeat wherever he went, for the sound made goosebumps run down his neck and down his arms, like some kind of magic that only y/n possessed.

“as much as i love you, i can’t risk my bad ass reputation for you.”

although jay was sure it was just part of her banter, the moment the ‘i love you’ fell off her tongue, he found himself wide awake, unable to push past the feeling in his gut as it looped over again and again in his mind. y/n could see the conflict in his face, as he glanced up at her with something she had never noticed before.

“you mean it?” he asked.

“mean what?” confused, her fingers fell from his hair, making jay regret ever opening his mouth.

“do you really, you know, love me?” he knew he had committed too far to try and retreat. maybe he could blame it on the fact he couldn’t think straight, although she was like a lie detector that wouldn’t let such a bogus excuse pass. y/n blinked down at him, watching as he sat up to look at her with a hunger that needed to be addressed. swallowing the lump in her throat, y/n nodded.

“of course, you are one of my best friends, jay.” it was true, but it wasn’t the full truth, both of them knew that.

“i didn’t realise we had started lying to one another,” jay’s eyes were soft, as he reached to place his hand against her cheek, smiling as she slowly leaned into it. closing her eyes, she tried to find what direction she was looking for, but didn’t dare take the first step. without even thinking, jay jutted forward and captured her lips before they could form a single syllable.

gently, but passionately, jay and y/n moved their lips against the others. the feeling was ever-growing as the kiss deepened and deepened until they had no choice to pull back, deprived of their ability to breath. as jay’s eyes came back into view, y/n, for the first time in her life, had lost the ability to form a sentence.

“we just...” she began but it ran off quickly. jay chuckled.

“we did.”

the two sat in silence, examining the other one’s face until y/n found herself moving forward until she was sat in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist as she pressed her lips against his. just like before their bodies and minds were set ablaze with desire and what had remained unspoken for what felt like forever. jay had nearly completely forgotten about the illness that had put him in the care of the woman that he craved more than anything else the world had to offer.

as their lips parted ways, suddenly the air had thinned and everything felt... normal. jay’s lips were unable to break out of the large grin mould that y/n had put them in, which was soon mirrored by the young woman. a small giggle escaping her lips.

“if i get whatever it is you have, i expect the exact same treatment.”

“only for you, doctor y/l/n.”

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