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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months ago

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Fortune Favours the Bold

A drabble to congratulate @honeybee-reads on their college acceptance! Yay!

Character: professor!Friedrich Harding

While this is written as a one-shot with a bit of a cliffhanger, I could definitely continue this one :)

Warnings: mentions of loss, some dark undertones, but nothing too serious. As always, please be aware of these warnings and proceed with caution. Have a happy Saturday, yall.

Please reblog and comment if you read/enjoy!

You’re used to being the odd one out. Even among your peers. You expected as much when you got that acceptance, almost a decade late.

There’s the crushing sense of intrusion as you sit among the rows of giddy coeds and naive study bugs. That same dejection follows you outside the walls of the lecture hall. You’ve all but deleted your social media. The feeds just show how much further along all your friends and family. Married, set in a career, having children. Doing all the things you feel as if you’ve missed out on.

You’re not that old. It’s not too late. Those mantras can only do so much. You’ve never found self-affirmation very effective.

“Midterms,” Professor Harding begins his lesson, never one for a grand introduction. “You will write three essay questions. You will have a choice of four questions, and I expect you to show comprehension. I am not looking to reread the textbook by rote.”

He’s strict but you don’t mind. Some of these young ones need that, even if they can’t appreciate it. Nevertheless, his demeanour surprises you. It does not match his appearance. He eyes a bright, almost glittering, and despite the bloom of silver twinkling in his beard, he retains a sort of boyish affect.

Beneath that, you sense more. Something that has him so stoic. He is clearly well-read, an expert without doubt, those three letters after his name would assure you of that, yet you sense a passivity in him. A passion barely flickering as he goes through his lessons.

You imagine he was once like the more diligent of your classmates. Excitable at the prospect of debating ethics or the meaning of life. Tossing back Descartes or Marx in a war of naive certainty. Or you think too much. You might even be projecting your own apathy upon him.

You take notes as he goes over a brief recap of the course so far. You know you’ll be stressing over the eight-point font of the dense textbook until you’re ready to cry. The textbook price alone was daunting, then when you opened it, your chest filled with stone.

It isn’t your strong suit. An elective far from your major. Philosophy. It’s all semantics, all subjective. You don’t really see how you can make any sense of it. There is no right or wrong, yet you could fail this exam.

A silence wells in the hall. All eyes go to the third row as Harding stares down it. The pall thickens as everyone watches the clueless brunette smiling at her phone and scrolling. Her thumb flicks in a rhythm.

He swiftly shuffles down the row ahead of her and shooes away another student. The skinny and spindly nineteen year old doges the professor. Harding reaches and snatches the phone. He flings it without looking and turns away before it lands. He marches back to the centre aisle.

“Is the essence of life endless distraction? Is it denying one’s mortality for the mindless pleasure of seeing others follow a trend? Something so inane and pointless? Dancing to the detriment of those around them. Intruding upon anothers existence so arrogantly,” he begins to rant, not so subtly in the direction of those apps that encourage only the most shallow interest.

Several fidget uncomfortable. The girl who lost her device gets up. He turns and crosses his arms. “If you go to retrieve that, you might as well drop this course.”

She sits back down with a harrumph. You bite down on your lip. If it was you at that age, you’d be crying. Even then, your chest is bound up in the tension.

“Let us think of real matters,” Harding redirects. “I will put upon you an assignment. Bonus marks for those who might not be so prepared for next week. You will sit for the next hour and write for me a precis on this very simple question; ‘why are you here?’”

Several students glance at each other. You frown. What kind of question is that?

“Sir, uh, Doctor,” a guy in a bomber jacket dares to raise his hand, “what do you mean?”

“This is a philosophy class,” Harding sneers. “Figure it out. Think!” He turns and charges back to the podium. He looks at the watch on his wrist. “Your time starts now.”

✒️

You tried the library. The tables are always full and you don’t have any study buddies. You only feel more isolated trying to find a place among the sleep-addled student body. The campus cafes were little better. Too noisy.

There’s a place closer to your apartment. A locally-owned hole-in-the-wall where the tinted windows often make it look condemned. You don’t think it’s a very good marketing tactic but you appreciate the atmosphere.

You order a scone and coffee and claim a table in the corner. You spread out your books across the surface and muddle away at making sense of it all. Well, if you can find any in it.

A cyclist comes in for one of the organic iced teas and a pair of older women arrive and order shortbread with lattes. They claim one of the tables outside the window. The soft hiss of the machines and the low chatter of the only two employees lulls you into your study.

The door opens again, closing heavier than before. Soles scuff across the floor and approach the counter.

“Dark roast,” the voice tweaks your ears as there’s a slap on the counter.

The register opens and closes, change jingles, and coffee pours. The baristas are as friendly as ever but only receive grumbles in return. The figure drags his feet toward a table. He sways and drops into a chair, just at the table next to yours.

He leans over the table, his elbow on the wood, and he drinks with a groan. He drains half the cup without pause. You don’t know how he isn’t scalded by the brew.

You glance over as he holds his head. The spiral in his hair, the signet ring on his finger, the elbow patches... it can’t be him.

You grab your own cup and sip. It’s cold. You break off a piece of the scone and nibble, resisting another peek in his direction. He drains the cup and sits up. He sighs heavily.

You pick up your pen again. You wiggle it as you try to find your place. You copy out another philosopher’s name and make a mind map of all their thoughts. You find it easier than listing it all out.

“There’s an E at the end of Voltaire,” the voice drawls across the space between your table.

You glance over. It is indeed Professor Harding. His hair is not combed tidily behind his ears as always, rather dissheveled, and his eyes darkened from fatigue. He it sideways in his chair as he leans over to read our handwriting.

“Professor,” you clear your throat. “What a coincidence--”

“Yes, what is chance?” He tilts his hand flippantly.

You look down and add the ‘e’ you missed. He hooks his arm over the back of the chair and slumps. He cradles his face and covers a yawn with his other fist.

“You are in Section B. You sit far right.” He says.

“Yes, sir.”

“Hm.” He hums and offers nothing else.

You shift the chair closer to your table. The scent of alcohol wafts over from him, mingled with his sweat. It’s not even ten in the morning.

“Just studying up for Tuesday,” you assure him.

“Ah, yes,” he mutters.

You hesitate. You’re on fire. You don’t know how to interact with him and he certainly doesn’t make it easy.

“Professor,” you look at him again. “Are you alright?”

He chuckles and pushes himself up, keeping himself steady with one arm on the chair, the other on the table.

“It is kind of you to pretend. The hangover will kick in soon,” he sneers. “Though I find them more tolerable when they are gin-induced.”

You blink at him. The flush in his cheeks, the slant of his brow, the wobble in his head. You nod.

“Coffee,” he declares and stands. He leans but regains his composure. He struts to the counter and pays for another dark roast. The baristas exchange a look of concern but say nothing.

He returns but does not resume his own seat. Instead, he claims the one across from you. You sit up and watch him as he takes a shaky gulp.

“You remind me of someone,” he says.

You nod, still as unsure as ever. “Oh?”

“Yes, a lovely woman...” he looks into the depths of his cup. “She is gone now.” His lips downturn. His hand lolls back and forth. He takes a deep breath. “Gone forever.”

You’re unprepared for this. The unshakeable professor is falling apart in front of you. He wipes his nose and lifts his head. He looks at you.

“Chance, you said.” He intones, “I ask, what do you think of fate?”

You furrow your brow. You shrug. “I don’t... know. I think we make reasons for things that happen so that they make sense.”

His blue eyes gleam at you. His long lashes flick and his cheek dimples.

“Ooh, very apt,” he praises with a smirk. He pauses to chug back the coffee. He coughs and lowers the empty cup. He braces the table with his free hand and lurches it as he stands. “Let us see then where chance guides us... or if fate has a hand in such a vast reality.”

He taps the table with two fingers and twists away from. He tosses his cup in the bin as he passes. He gets to the door and peers back at you.

“How lucky a man should be to pluck a four-leaf clover, but that he might do so twice,” he tilts his head, “could he ever hope for such fortune?”

He swings the door open and stumbles through. His drunken words linger as you stare across the cafe.

You slowly look at your notes. You’re even more confused than before. And nervous. If he remembers this on Tuesday, you’re not sure you have much hope of passing.

#friedrich harding #friedrich harding x reader #nosferatu #drabble #professor au #au

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wangxianficfinder · 10 months ago

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Fic Finder

Aug 3rd

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1. Hi can you help me find this fic ?

So it was set during the Sunshot Campaign, vivid war setting, a lot of explicit sexual content,a long fic I think but definitely more than 10k. It was about Wangxian getting too during the war. I remember only some bits. LWJ asked JC for permission to get married or something of the sort and JC got mad because he thought LWJ was joking but started to negotiate with LXC when it became apparent he was not. Before the final battle WWX promised LWJ that they won't die.During the final battle LWJ got hurt and seemingly died and WWX lost control and made a giant earthquake that collapsed Koi Tower with JGS inside. LWJ was kind of dead for a while but his spirit stuck around (I don't remember why really just that maybe it was part of some spell?) and WWX managed to resurrect him but he needed to regain his memories slowly.

FOUND? The dreamers. by orange_crushed (E, 17k, WangXian, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Spells & Enchantments, Canon Divergence, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, War, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Temporary Character Death, The Character Dies But Does Not Stay Dead Trust Me, Resurrection, Suicidal Thoughts, Loss of Identity, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Injury Recovery, Trauma, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, War Is Hell Etcetera, I Promise The Characters Do Not Stay Dead and Will Absolutely Be Okay, Masturbation, Fantasy, Very Brief Mention of Burial-Mounds-Era Cannibalism, Major Character Death... but only for a minute honestly!!, Awkward First Times, Marriage Proposal)

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2. I'm looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian wasn't killed at the attack at Nightless City but taken captive by the Jins. It's discovered that, to escape the loss of his loved ones and the abuse at the Jin's hands, that he's grown a new core while dreaming and can now dream cultivate. He even manages to bring back Jiang Yanli. I can't find it and hope it hasn't been deleted. Any help tracking this one down would be greatly appreciated!

FOUND? Dream a little dream of me by Moominmammashandbag (M, 60k, WangXian, NHS/MXY, Prison, Hair Washing, WWX thinks he is dreaming, Hurt/Comfort,vFluff and Angst, mentions of torture, MXY deserves love, Mention of dismemberment, Coming Out, Plotting and scheming, animate body parts, goose, and supporting avian cast, Anxiety Disorder, Anxiety Attacks, Reincarnation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Do not fuck with NHS, Dreamwalking, Angst with a Happy Ending, I have read chapter 118 of MDZS ergo I regard JGY as a villain, JC is not a villain, just flawed, JZX Lives)

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3. looking for a fic that's set during the sunshot campaign, after wwx leaves the burial mounds and is found by lwj and jwy. all I recall is one chapter where jwy attacks wwx and endangers wwx. lwj rescues wwx and takes him to the medical tent, and then confronts jwy. I believe the fic author provided two versions of lwj's confrontation w jwy, one of which is a full on physical fight. does this ring a bell? thanks! @potatokunst

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4. hi, i vaguely remember reading a fic where wwx runs around the lan sect political hall in front of the other sect leaders threatening to strip to defuse political tensions HAHA i dont remember the name of the fic but if you could find that that would be great! thank you so much :)

FOUND? Kingfisher Feathers by anonymous (E, 165k, WIP, WangXian, A/B/O, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Rut Sex, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Palace, Royalty, Everyone Lives, Married but one of them doesn't remember it, Amnesia, Historical Inaccuracy, Harems, but not really because we all know lwj only ever sees wwx, Emperor LWJ, War Hero WWX, Collars as a status symbol, Eventual mpreg, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Mutual Pining, Breeding Kink, hints of dubcon cos the whole situation is kinda icky, trope-typical sexism, Dubious Consent, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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5. Hi! I am looking for this fic:

Wei wuxian either goes back in time or loses his memory. But it is back in burial mounds. And he has lost any love for Jiang Cheng. His golden core starts to come back to himself. Jiang Cheng comes to burial mounds demanding an explanation and wwx is rude as he doesn't have that brotherly love anymore

FOUND? 💖 Return to Sender by Thesaurus_with_no_words (M, 72k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX , WangXian Get a Happy Ending, YLLZ WWX, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, canon JC characteristics, Temporary Amnesia, Partial Memory Loss, Literal Emotional Manipulation, Unreliable Narrator, Unreliable Narrator WWX, they are all unreliable ok, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon typical horror and gore, Slow Burn)

FOUND? The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

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6. Im looking for this fic please let me know if you can find it

I don't remember a lot of it but in the end there is a battle and lwj and wwx are together and all the sect leaders are also on the battlefield. They can see that there is another flute and xichen finds out its jgy and su she responsible for it.

FOUND? 🔒 Living by WithBroomBefore (G, 15k, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, POV LWJ, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Family Feels, Siblings, Crying, Lots of it, Suicide Attempt, just the one though, everyone goes to Lotus Pier, plot happens offscreen, Healing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death,nmostly just hugs and weeping and healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs)

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7. Hello! I have another fic finder request for you. I think wwx is a prince of the royal family that rules of gods/goddesses. I think lwj might've been mortal, but I'm not sure. I can't remember exactly how wwx and lwj meet, but I think they promised each other that they would marry. lwj then goes home and finds out that his marriage has been arranged - turns out it was wwx's family who got too excited and asked behind his back. I think wwx goes to find lwj in a tent(?) and tells him the truth before the wedding happens. Sorry it's kind of vague. Thank you everyone!

FOUND? cloudy autumn heaps the sky by anatheme (T, 23k, WangXian, Fantasy, Universe Alteration, Secret Identity, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Timeline What Timeline, wwx is a little older here, wwx piling gifts on lwj and encouraging hoarding tendencies, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Arranged Marriage)

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8. Hi! This is fic finder. A modern au where WangXian an ex. WWX works as a model and LWJ is a parfumer. LWJ got a job for YZY. When he goes to the meeting, he sees a bilboard that has WWX on it. Then he messed up the meeting. WWX and LWJ then work together. LWJ places got blown up. WWX asked LQR to sponsor LWJ. Thats all thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! 🔒 heart notes by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 92k, Modern, Fashion & Models, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Reconciliations, Family Drama, exes to friends to lovers, Second Chances, Breaking Up & Making Up, Flashbacks, POV Alternating, Perfume, Fire,bminor injury, Perfumer LWJ, Model WWX, just this once CSSR lives, LWJ's past mistakes come back to haunt him, the inherent eroticism of perfume and the application therein, a little bit of pining while fucking, shockingly enough this narrative does not rely on misunderstandings to fuel the plot)

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9. Hello!! Could you help me find a fanfic where wwx travels back in time as a ghost(? some people cant see him) and he stumbles upon lwj and lxc when they were kids, and he starts taking care of them like giving them treats and comforts lwj & lxc when they lost their mother

Thank you ! <3 @reredamancy

FOUND! Waiting by Morgana_avalon (G, 46k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Short Story, LWJ is five year old, LXC is eight year old, LWJ as a boy kneeling in the snow at the jingshi waiting for his mama to return, brothers looking out for each other, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, canon divergent but also canon compliant, Mystery, Mysticism, Chenqing, didn't know the name of Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen's father when I started writing this, Bichen, happy endings!, The Qilin, Author has no clue how to use birth/courtesy names correctly, Based on the TV-series and not the novel)

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10. Hi sorry to bother y'all, I am looking for a fic I've lost, (I need to learn to Bookmark them with Tags I can remember), and I need help finding it.

A) Basically WWX gets taken in by the Lans because YZ traumatized him to be afraid of Lotuses and Purple? I can't really remember but he gets to stay with LWJ because of it.

B) Mingjue after death gets turned into a talking head/loud goose and the cultivation world looses it's head.

Thanks so much for your all's effort in this blog! (^_^♪)

10A)

FOUND!🔒 this body yet survives by RoseThorne (T, 54k, WangXian, WIP, No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals, Near Death Experiences, Attempted Murder, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Siblings, Protective Siblings, Soup, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LWJ, reference to poisoning, reference to assassination, Reference to chronic illness, reference to infanticide, Depression, Minor Injuries, Painting, Gift Giving, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, BAMF WWX,, Jealous SS, WWX Protection Squad)

10B)

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11. I cannot for the life of me remember this fic although I'm sure it's a time travel fix it. The scene that has been stuck in my head is:

During the sunspot campaign (?) jzx admits he wants to marry jyl, and wwx and jwy sit down to negotiate the terms (it is implied that they're going to take him for everything he's got and he's going to let them). Just then mianmian bursts in towing a very confused jgy who then realised what's going on.

I thought it might be paper moon but they never broke their bethrothal. I've gone through my bookmarks and still can't place the scene. Please help!! @theladypeartree

FOUND! Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

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12. Hello there! I need help i am looking for a fic it was an Alien Invation au i think? Lan Wangji is in the Military with his brother Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue. They were trying to fight some of the aliens but Lan Wangji got seperated and met wei wuxian who was a scientist. There was also Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning. Hope you can find it please! Thankyouu! @lynthecat

FOUND? Deleted "Son Of A Soldier Boy" by FireAwayy. The cached link for chapter 1. If they want to read the rest of the fic they will have to search each chapter to find the cached version. I did check the Wayback Machine but the fic isn't available there (but here is that link too if interested: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41843295 ) // Number 12 for yesterday’s fic finder sounds like “Son Of A Soldier Man” by FireAwayy. They deleted some of their fics a while back including this one. The fic is not available on the wayback machine but you can access it, chapter by chapter, through cached search results. I haven’t been able to find all the chapters but I imagine some more sleuthing can dig them up. You can follow this tutorial for info on how to access cached pages. Note that Google Chrome no longer caches links, so you have to use an alternative like Microsoft Bing (ext for Chrome available) to access.

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13. For fic finder: My apologies if I recently sent in this ask: this fic has been on my brain for the last few days and I can’t remember if I already wrote in about it or not! It was a modern au about pro e-sports. The different sects are different gaming teams in this fic. WWX was accused of cheating a few years back and had to leave the Jiang team. LWJ, captain of Lan team, eventually finds WWX again and asks to enter a competition with WWX, and I think together they can pull off some kind of special move in-game that shows they have incredible teamwork or something. The fic reminded me of the danmei novel God Level Summoner, but I think the general theme of “fallen champion player gets back on his feet and wins the league” is pretty common in esports stories.

NOT FOUND! Love OP Please Nerf by LikeTheTide (T, 13k, WangXian, WIP, Esports, Gamer AU, Modern, Gaming, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, screw top and bottom whos the tank and whos the squishy dps, Slow Burn) Based purely on synopsis, could this be 13?

FOUND! 【为梦想而战】for this dream, i'll fight by paradisetrain (M, 27k, WangXian, JYL/MM, Modern, Gaming, Gamer AU, League of Legends, Video & Computer Games, Gaming Jargon, Social Media, Internet Hate, cancel culture, Hacking, Cheating Scandal, Internet Scandal, Bad Parenting, Parent Death, Loss of Parent(s), Family Issues, Family Feels, Healing, Falling In Love, Threatening unborn babies, Death threats to unborn babies, Blackmail, Implied Incest, Canon Typical Incest, Between JGY and QS, Illegal Activities, The game is League of Legends but with different names, Why do people on the same team all have the same surname?, just because, featuring:, WWX Goes Back to Gusu, WWX's canonical self-worth issues, LWJ's unconditional support of WWX) #13 might be this one - I've not read it, but my bestie says it might be the one.

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14. Hello! I'm looking for a fic that's is a university au, maybe lwj pov? In this fic, lwj is selectively mute and took a semester off from college to learn sign language so that he could communicate solely through that. When he meets wwx and his siblings, they can all speak with him because Madam yu is deaf and they know sign language because of her. I think wangxian meet at a cafe where wwx works? At some point point lwj is forced to make a speaking presentation in on of his classes and he prerecords a video to show in class instead due to his anxiety, also somewhwere in the story jiang cheng helps him through a panic attack. I swear I have looked all over AO3 for this fic, but I haven't been able to find it, so there's a chance it might have been deleted, but I hope you all can help!!!!! @kavlobebeki

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15. Hello, thank you for all your help! I am now looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian was raised as Jiang Cheng's whipping boy. This was a common practice among the gentry except for in the Lan clan. JC grew up and he tried not to do anything that would lead to WWX being whipped in his place but during the Cloud Recesses lectures Jin Zixuan demands WWX be whipped and JC can’t really stop it. Lan Wangji tried to intervene but Lan Qiren held him back saying not to get involved in other sect’s conflict. I think Meng Yao was also a designated whipping boy for Huaisang, possibly all the whipping boys for all the young masters also attended the lectures as manservants? I would love to read this again, if anyone can find it! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND? the price of a home by JemTheKingOfSass (T, 13k, JC & WWX, Whipping Boy AU, Pre-Canon, Canon verse events, TW details in top Notes of any chapter when necessary, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, the price of a home [podfic] by esbielle)

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16. I'm looking for a fic where the Lan are the most powerful sect, or maybe they were royalty, and take over Lotus pier because Lan Wangji thinks Wei Wuxian has very impolitely spurned his marriage proposal, only for it to be revealed that Madam Yu did it. @mullk6

FOUND? Warrior Prince by QteCuttlfish (M, 4k, WangXian, Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alpha/Omega, A/B/O, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Implied Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant)

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17. Hi can you help me find a wangxian fic where wei wuxian either runs away after the golden core transfer/did not participate in the war and works at an inn? He ends up finding and rescuing the wens and they work at the inn with him. Then lan wangji found him and so did jiang cheng at the end. @fjcfanatic

FOUND? The Taste of Home by For_the_Love_of_Bichen (E, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bar/Pub, inn owner WWX, WWX never learns demonic cultivation, Human WWX, canon compliant up until the golden core removal, set in mdsz world, Fantasy Medical Procedures, Medical Procedures, Golden Core Transfer, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, canonical kinks, Anal Sex,bAnal Fingering, Oral Sex, Bathing/Washing, Dual Cultivation, LWJ & WWX Have a Breeding Kink, WWX Has a Rape/Non-Con Kink, mild cnc kink, mentioned cnc kink, no actual cnc play, Mild Breeding Kink, Drunk LWJ, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Slow Burn, Possessive LWJ, First Time, LWJ Has a Praise Kink, WWX Has No Golden Core, WWX Has Self-Worth Issues)

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18. Hi, I really hope you find this fic! It was WIP which I found only a few months ago. I think it's Jiang bashing altogether because the last chapter ended with Jiang yanli giving tea to Jiang fengmian saying she will take care of something. I tried the "Jiang yanli is not an angel" tag but I cannot find it. Can you help me with this one please?

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19. For some reason scrolled by this fic when browsing through someone's bookmarks and now cannot remember whose, so must turn to you once again! Time travel by Jin Zixuan. Judging by the summary, I think he comes back to awareness in the middle of the fight with Wei Wuxian at Cloud Recesses; he wonders about the fact that he's sure he was bleeding out just a moment ago, then about the fact that WWX suddenly looks a lot younger but still very angry. @linderel

Had no idea that there would be several fics with that premise but then again, perhaps not surprising! Sadly, none of the three suggested for #19 so far sound right. I'll probably still read them at some point.

additionally, about #19: I'm fairly certain that the summary mentioned JZX bleeding out or something, which none of the suggestions have. I also went back to dig through several authors' bookmarks myself but alas, no luck yet; not even any of the suggested ones has popped up

NOT FOUND 一寸光阴一寸金, 寸金难买寸光阴 by orphan_account (G, 11k, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, JZX Tries, JZX Has Friends, (frenemies really but still), Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, JZX-centric, Reconciliation, Everyone Lives, Socially Awkward JZX, Second Chances, Cloud Recesses, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Pining, JZX can see the love, Matchmaker JZX, did he sign up for this? no but he's gonna try anyways)

NOT FOUND Brittle Steel Slicing Through by meyari (T, 19k, JYL/JZX, WangXian, Major Character Death, Sunshot Campaign, War, aftermath of war, PTSD, Warning: Jin Guangshan, fuck that guy, murder as a method of problem solving, murder as a flirtation method, learning to communicate for idiots, Time Travel Fix-It, Jin Murder-Babies FTW, Fluff and Crack)

NOT FOUND 🔒 Rise of the Peacock by JustAWanderingBabbit (Not Rated, 70k, JZX & JGY, JYL/JZX, 3zun, WIP, Canon Divergence, Re:Birth/Transmigration, Drabble to Full Story, JZX is all grown up in a boy's body, Time to save the world, Or at least save JZX's chest cavity, I just love saving JGY, Definitely NOT Untamed timeline, Reasonably intelligent gamers, The Jin Brothers are a team, Attempted Sexual Assault, unwanted sexual touching)

NOT FOUND With you, I can fight the World by Weiyingbestboy (G, 2k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JC & WWX & JYL, JZX & WWX, Everyone Lives, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, JC is so done, JZX and WWX Friendship)

FOUND! 🔒 long bygone burdens by humancorn (T, 17k, JYL/JZX, JZX & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Time Travelling JZX, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, JZX-centric, JZX Tries, JZX & WWX Friendship, Wife Guy JZX, He's doing his best ok, Canon Divergence, mentions of corporal punishment) So none of the fics suggested for #19 were right but I finally braved the search function and found it myself! I think I skipped it because it wasn't Wangxian content 😅 Anyway, it was this

~*~

20. hello! for the next fic finder, i’m looking for a fic where lqr ends up being able to hear wwx’s thoughts. there’s this distinct scene where lqr is traumatized by wwx jerking off to thoughts abt lwj. thank you!!

FOUND! Judge Softly by Chrononautical (E, 32k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LXC & LQR, LQR & WWX, Accidental Voyeurism, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Mind Reading, Oblivious WWX, WWX Has Self-Worth Issues, Cloud Recesses, BAMF WWX, Genius WWX, sex makes WWX stupid, LQR Tries, It may be more accurate to say LQR learns to try, Suffering LQR, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Post-Canon Fix-It, mostly web series with a few influences from the broader canon, Ghosts, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Teacher LQR Mutual Pining, Longing, Playful Sex, Use Your Words, Canon-Typical Violence, Switching, Virgin WWX, Love Confessions)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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cursedmagician · 8 months ago

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so. let's talk about that episode shall we?

major ii 17 spoilers under the cut, and lots of theories. read at your own risk.

divider by strangergraphics ✮⋆˙

I have no idea what to even think about that episode. I watched this at about 8 in the morning my time, and now I am in shambles and have been for the last several hours. I'm going to dump all my theories in this one blog post.

my first topic, and the elephant in the room - THIS IS NOT THE LAST ACT. NO WAY.

I've seen people asking if this is the last act and therefore the last ever episode in the series, and to that I say... obviously not. there's still so many plot points to be resolved.

like, for example, why would they add in a scene of the prime shimmers going to the contestant grounds if they weren't going to do something for it later?

yes I know that they were already used as merely a small plot device to allow the episode to progress, but when you think of it in the grand scheme of things there must be something more to it.

also, and - I may be going crazy here - but there might possibly be some sort of parallel of when cobs tells mephone to go "home" with him. we now know that all those previous theories of mephone being made with the shimmer egg are correct, because of fan. since that is the case, I feel like it would make sense for mephone's true home to be with the prime shimmer, right?

I feel like this could be a plot point in the next act. mephone feels more at home with the prime shimmer than he does with cobs (obviously). he would meet them and realise he feels strangely connected to them, and then he figures everything out which leads up to him discovering his true family. and I hope cobs rots and dies FOREVERRR

another point to add onto this is that remember how soap and mic took that photo together in the last episode?

well, soap was going through her recently deleted.

on apple (and I'm assuming meeple as well) devices, it takes 30 days for photos in the recently deleted photo to be fully erased from the device. before that, you can restore and fully erase as many photos as you like.

at the end of this episode when everything created by melife has been erased, baxter is seen walking up to soap's phone here.

in a scene where everything is gone, don't you think this is weirdly symbolic? they didn't have any other reason to show this which leads up to the next theory.

mephone is most likely going to find a way to bring everyone back through some way, and it might be through this system. I'm not saying I know how he's gonna do it, but this will totally be some sort of factor in the next act. hopefully.

second topic - what about bow and bot?

and I know what you all are thinking. I know that bow is definitely not gone, since she obviously isn't supported by melife anymore. (I'm a little curious, bow mentioned that she can't escape the confines of purgatory mansion, but since now that's been deleted, would she be able to roam free? just a thought...)

the same could be said for bot, since they were made by fan and test tube and not by melife. but there's been some speculation going around saying that since bot was made out of materials from test tube's lab, they would be deleted too right?

I actually think that's not necessarily the case.

we have no idea if test tube's materials or her lab was made out of things generated by melife. for all we know, she could have ordered the mechanical parts from overseas. she could have dug up the space she needed for the lab herself.

all we know is that the locations made for the game itself are generated by melife. however, test tube's lab has really nothing to do with the contest because it is its own thing.

so I think this entire theory is genuinely plausible. bot might still be out there somewhere, and I'm not going to say on the invitational island because we don't know if that entire thing was deleted too or just the floor's face. they genuinely might be making their way over to the season 2 grounds right now, wondering what is going on.

which could possibly make way for a bow and bot meeting, AND they might team up too to save the day!! that definitely feels like a direction that adam would be going for, and I personally would totally stand for it.

third topic - can mephone X be avoided or stopped somehow?

here's what I'm thinking.

lightbulb actually managed to dodge mephone X here, and even though yes she did get got in the end, you can at least delay the process or maybe even outrun them altogether.

there must be a reason as to why only the person who is being targeted can see mephone X, but that's a theory for another day.

now, this part is less of a theory and more of an idea - that is supported by numerous twitter posts - but what if you are able to see mephone X with another me device thingy?

think about it, what if taking a picture or just going through the camera app enables others to see them, therefore allowing the contestants to potentially disable mephone X for good?

assuming my theory is correct and they do come back somehow, I doubt that adam forgot about this plothole completely. there must be more significance to this in the future.

we all know how the main writing team writes. they think of everything, down to the small details, and the reference previous things that were thought to be insignificant before!! reminds me of bfdi in a way.

fourth topic - misc stuff/yapping

and well of course I had to dedicate an entire section to just my yapping alone. I know I'm still pretty new to blogging, I don't have many posts yet, but I think it's worth it to just leave my thoughts out here for people to cry over also.

firstly... OJ and paper's last conversation was an argument. lol!! XD!! also it was so funny as to how paper got so ticked off after salt said OJ is her boyfriend. I understand that he might have still felt pretty heated after everything that had been going on, + the argument they had earlier. and I know that OJ is very important to paper. but I still think it was really hilarious. some could say jealous. "he's not your boyfriend he was MINE!!"

ALSO!!! also also also THIS fucking scene...

this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life man. what the fuck. imagine if slasher movies were like this... like jigsaw or something. if I saw this in a slasher movie I would be terrified for my LIFE (something these contestants don't have).

I really really liked the scene where paintbrush was crying over lightbulb btw. jazzy did an amazing job at that, and they said that they didn't even cry to be able to voice it!! she's a very talented va, I aspire to be like her someday...

another thing I wanted to mention is this tweet made by brian a while ago (screenshot I nabbed from me_phone4 on twitter) yes this is absolutely going to be for inanimate insanity. no questions asked. hope is on the horizon guys.

ok I think that is the end of this post. likes and reblogs are appreciated, and also reblog if you want to add onto my theories later!

for now, signing off!! - CURSED MAGICIAN

#stage.drive #osc #osc community #object show #object shows #inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity act 2 #ii #ii osc #ii2 17 #ii 17 #ii 17 spoilers #osc discussion #ii discussion #ii predictions #fan theories #ii theory

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heta-on-the-books · 5 months ago

Text

Long post so check under the cut!

FAQ

What is this blog?

Est in 2019 This blog was a one-of-a-kind impulse decision brought upon by a time when all the lovely active Hetalia listing blogs were not as common as they once were. So, it's not a new idea, in the least, but a decent one! So my dream is if you are looking for fellow blogs, reviving your dash, looking out for that favourite muse, or craving the crowd in your favourite fandom and looking for a Group/lack thereof? I hope this place can offer it to you.

Who’s behind the books?

You may or may not have heard my name around the block, the names Gypty. I’m a fellow rper, ask blog mun, something of an artist and overall curious rat floating oceans to find a place in the world, Nice to meet you~

What is each tag?

Currently, I have devised five tags that are the organization to this blog's listings, let’s call them the five books.

🧡RP, is where the role play blogs reside, Hetalia muses such as 1p’s, 2p,s Nyos, au, multi muse, world is your oyster. Pay attention to what sort of rp style they use as well, it might answer some questions about your own rp style preference.

💚Ask, are the blogs where Hetalia muses take your questions and answer them as they see fit, this category is also quite versatile as alongside having many styles of Hetalia muse the diversity of how they are answered can be quite intriguing!

💙Creator Blogs, these are the people who fill the fandom with all sorts of content, cosplay, art, themes, aesthetics, fanfiction, anything under the sun and moon really.

❤️Hetalia, That's what it is, to be honest, Hetalia. This is where the blogs who reblog, share and some even take on the task of bringing all the Hetalia, fan or official, news or art. They are the spiderwebs that get the fandom’s content around. A great person to follow if you’re looking for Hetalia on your dash of all sorts.

💜Groups, ‘Groups’ is the tag for all the Hetalia group blogs that could be looking for exposure and even new members to join the ranks. Rp, ask, Art, all of it.

💛Oh Yeah! With the group tags, I will be listing the Hetalia Discords! If you have one of those fill out the application all the same.

What to look forward to

Things have been slow, so my next steps will be entirely on how much traction this blog gets. The way I have been working is having links in the blog that direct you to each book, then when enough new blogs have asked to be written in said books, I take them and copy them into the form of a post.

I will also be creating and reblogging the blog promos as per request from those who submitted an ap. If your blog also wants to advertise a new occasion, event, or point out some official Hetalia news go ahead and send it to my inbox or message box. You can also @ me, here's is to hoping tumblr does not break and I get to see it.

How to get your blog on the books?

Application is under the rules~ If you need any help please send an ask or DM ✨

Rules

Everyone has em

At this time if you have a muse/s blog, I would highly prefer that the blog you request to be listed for said muse/s be made for said muse/s. In short, don’t merge your main blog

If your blog appears to no longer exist, be it you changed the name and forgot to notify, deleted, ect, the blog will be taken down from the listing.

If your blog is to be placed on Hiatus please let me know and I will list it appropriately.

If your blog has not been active for two years, it will be considered inactive and taken down unless stated on hiatus (I will give that four years)

If your blog is listed as a Hetalia blog, and the blog has deviated with its majority being non-Hetalia for a year, it will be removed.

Should you find that your blog has been removed and the reasons listed above do not apply to your blog (aka your reviving welcome back, you have an updated username, coming out of hiatus) feel free to reapply! We would love to have you back!

Application! Congratulations! You made it to the end. Here is the information you will need to fill out and send to this blog. It helps me to properly list your blog/s. Please note I do not add blogs unless they ask. I don’t want to run into any mishaps is all.

Blog Name:

Blog Type: (Ask, Rp, Creator, Hetalia, Hetalia Group)

Blog Characters if your blog has specific muses it concentrates on: (single muse, multi muse, yes we list OCS)

Specifics: (listed down below)

Muse type: (1p, 2p, Nyo, chibi, human, AU, etc.)

If you’re an ask blog: (Cosplay, lit, art)

If you’re an Rp blog (Lit, Script)

If your a creator: (what do you create Fan Art, Atheistic, Cosplay, Handmade, Food, etc.)

If your a group: What sort of Hetalia Group do you run? Does it have a Discord?

Lastly, do you want us to reblog your character ad post?

Or have this blog promo with a custom promo template? We can totally do that!

And that is all I got for the moment! Don’t forget if you have any questions don’t be afraid to visit my inbox, your questions may help someone else or even me.

#Hetalia #aph #hws #Hetalia blog #tell your heta friends!

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desiredcaramellatte · 2 years ago

Note

Do you think you could do some crk self aware au stuff?? The tag is painfully dead.. if not feel free to delete lmfao

That aside, during Cookie Odyssey, I was **convinced** that soulstones we're going to come into play somehow, it was like my major theory during ch.2, and nobody could convince me otherwise but it never happened. Giving the soulstones an in lore explanation would've been fricking awesome imo..

Can we get some HCs of the player (or their in game kingdom) basically having a monopoly on soulstones while the cookies are left scratching their heads as to not only how they work, but also how the reader got what is technically a part of their souls.

Write for anyone really, idm that much. I generally like the Creme Republic though-- whether reader is still behind the screen or knows the cookies are self aware is up to you really.

That would be very cool if they actually had a lore explanation :0 I thought the soul jams were soul stones first time I heard about them tbh, they just linked together in my mind, also reader is so real for trading monies for souls

I have never written self aware before so apologies if it sucks-

Anyways enough of my ranting, hcs yes

Self aware cookies & reader

(Who has a soul stone monopoly)

Gingerbrave & friends

Gingerbrave is one of the least confused cookies regarding this, to be honest. Mainly because he doesn't really care enough/doesn't notice to really question it. You gather these little trinkets that make him stronger! Cudos to you from this boy.

Wizard, on the other hand, is confused as hell of this process. Where do these stones come from? Are they truly linked to the Cookie's souls? Does that mean that they are not fully themself and/or complete until they are fully leveled, even if they only materialize with twenty of them?

Wizard just wants to know. He has asked you multiple times over, getting confused by your answers and delving in deeper whenever he can. Exactly WHERE do they come from? He's obsessed with finding out by this point.

Strawberry really doesn't mind. She's a little confused where they come from, but, like Gingerbrave, she doesn't question it too much. She does like to occasionally made theories, but she doesn't really like to share them.

If you're good friends with her she may share some of her theories with you, but none of the wild ones, and only if you ask.

Clotted Cream

WHOLE ASS ENGROSSED. He wants to know everything about the soulstones. Where do they come from? How would one even 'farm' these and how does farming a soul even work?

More specifically, he is trying to find a connection between soulstones and souljam. They do almost the same thing and have very similar names- they're both linked to the soul, and make cookies stronger.

He has spent many restless nights awake thinking about this.

Much like Wizard in that he's harassing you for answers, but he does asks questions more subtly.

Clotted Cream has flipped a few tables (with occasional assistance from Financier) before, mainly when he gets annoyed enough at not having a verifiable answer to this.

Financier

It is what it is. She accepts this. She's got dragged into the theorizing by Clotted Cream.

Chilling, mainly. She doesn't really mind not care. Likely to thank you for doing your best to collect them and to make everyone, including her, stronger.

Black Raisin

Intrigued by the sparkliness of most of these soulstones. Much like a crow, she is attracted to shiny objects. Her crow friends are too.

Black Raisin has a small hoard of soulstones that she's occasionally found, of all different sorts of cookies. The sparkler the soulstone, the likelier she and/or her crows are to snatch and hoard. If the soulstone is just a pretty rock then she'll also hoard those too.

If you really need a soulstone she will likely give one to you. How often and/or how many depends on her connection to you.

She's farming them with you by this point.

Oyster

Yoinks you.

She wants to have conversations about this. She wants to know what they are and where they come from. She will offer you tea and scones while the two of you converse.

When she first found out that her stones are Super Epic, she was very proud of herself.

Probably sends you back with some every time you come visit her.

Captain Caviar

Doesn't believe they exist. They're just rocks. Nothing more.

He will stand by his claim to the death. This WILL be the hill he died on. Captain Caviar does not believe soulstones exist.

Probably has made some propaganda about soulstones being fake. Socks, hats, jackets, you name it, he's likely made it with the words "Soulstones do not exist, numbskull" in big letter on it. Except shirts.

Pure Vanilla

Very much like Oyster. Will likely join in on your conversation time and/or will invite the two of you over for his homemade tea and treats!

Most likely to understand how Soulstones work due to him wielding Souljam, which is the most similar thing to them. Also the fact he has lived for a long time and has gathered many knowledge on the subject.

Probably has a book on the subject somewhere.

He likes to sit and watch the Ferris Wheel Landmark rotate. He likes the motion.

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phantomswimmingtimemachine · 12 days ago

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Hello, this is Gin, As in NewGin, I need to talk about what I’ve done in the Pizza tower community...

I’ve been far too parasocial, far too clingy, to the point of crossing boundaries and making others uncomfortable. I’ve never made an apology like this before; I’ll be honest about everything. I can only explain what was going through my head at that time, but none of it is a justification, it never will be, and I can only work on it to prevent all of this from happening again.

My previous account was deleted out of guilt and panic, and I kept checking others accounts then in late March, only to see what those who blocked said about me, I wanted to know what I was doing wrong then, but it only crossed boundaries again. And it led to further spiraling until someone sat down and spoke to me, I was too upset to think, I hurt so many fans in the community, and I wanted to fix things fast then than give it more thought and time. I was too impulsive and panicked, and it only made things worse.

For the last several months, I’ve been talking and thinking about what happened with professionals. The majority concluded That there was no malice involved, but I suffered from “dependency disorder”, a disorder in which you constantly rely on others for assurance or fear of being alone. And I was afraid of being alone more than anything. This has gone undiagnosed for years, and considered to have maladaptive skills. I’m currently still in group therapy to practice better boundaries, learning how to manage stress, anxiety and panic. Better coping skills I never bothered to learn out of fear of change. I never wanted anyone to be emotionally hurt, I constantly fear accidentally hurting people because of my social skills, I’m aware how damn oblivious I am, and it hurts how so much of this could have been avoided if I bothered to learn healthier skills sooner, it’s my fault everyone is hurt, It’s my fault I’m like this. No one else is at fault.

I kept breaking boundaries in thoughts of “maybe like this its ok?, maybe this can be an exception if I can make it work like this?” And other times it is just barging in freaking out without considering the person’s feelings. None of what I did was healthy for those involved.

I’m horrified with how many I’ve hurt, I gave so much trouble to everyone, I’m sorry for putting so much pressure on you when I struggled with communicating to others, I’m sorry for coming into your dms when I was panicking, and used you as a therapist, a sort of security blanket. I’m sorry, I took so long to get help. I thought that after getting advice, I would instantly know not to make that mistake again, but I’ve should have taken time to sit down and think about it more than panicking to fix things or avoid my own uncomfortable thoughts. I’m so sorry I put you through so much crap instead of looking to a therapist, you told me multiple times to take it to them, but I feared so much they wouldn’t understand, I…I never bothered trying out of fear and ended up hurting you more. I kept crossing your boundaries when you were so patient with me, and I took it for granted rather than getting proper help. I’m still getting help, and its been a good progress but I still need more to do with the program. I understand if you don’t forgive after my behavior. I hope you’re doing alright. And I hope the future is kind to you.

I’m sorry Dingle, for getting you involved. I’m sorry for putting gore in your fic, I didn’t think at the time it would hurt, because to me, it was mild...but it still hurt you. I really did think at the time that peppino sacrificing his own chance at a cure to cure his adopted kid ( dingles oc) while getting himself injured showcased how peppino is willing to go through hell to help his kid. a character going through hell but having a happy ending, but in my excitement, I didn't realize how hurtful it was to write such angst of their comfort character without their permission. I’m sorry I vented my fears to you. I really shouldn’t have interacted with them as nervous and panicky as I was, I shouldn’t have said “oh your uncomfortable? Maybe I’ll cancel the fic then :(“ though that wasn’t meant to be guilt tripping but me being sad because I liked the concept, but I said it guilt trippy. I shouldn’t have interacted with my self-esteem and emotional instability. It got them hurt, confused, and traumatized. I never wanted them hurt or feel used. I thought I was being a friend with sharing small vents. But I should have stepped away. They probably wouldn’t be as hurt today. And it wasn’t exclusive to them, my instability and low self-esteem made others “emotional care givers” I’m sorry I went in others dms and get others involved, adults and teens alike in my nervous breakdowns, and constantly seeking validation. I honestly thought it was normal to share distress to a certain extent with people you knew, but I was too over trusting, and it put pressure on the same people I looked up to. I was maladaptive.

I’m also sorry for sharing private conversations with others in forms of text or screenshots, the intent, in my perspective then, was to avoid misunderstandings, as I felt I poorly explained things or poorly understood what the messages were saying due to be aware of my own autism, a part of that reassurance aspect handled in the worst way. It made people instead feel they were only getting side of the issue, not to mention a breach of trust and privacy as they did not consent to these. This was not the correct way for me to handle those situations at all, and I will never do it again, I’m sorry.

I never wanted drama, slander or harm. I just wanted to be a part of the Pizza Tower community, I saw people sharing art and making art for others in the PT community, and I thought, hey I like their characters and ocs and art. Maybe I can write for them, I can’t draw so why not write for them. I want to do nice things for others fans, make friends with people share my creations and make people come together and be happy. I wanted fans to get along with each other, I wanted to bring everyone closer together as a fandom, I wanted to be part of it. But all I ended up doing was being parasocial and clingy and hurt everyone, I just wanted to make friends, I just wanted everyone happy. And I was stupid about it.

I thought I was making friends by writing those fics, but despite truly liking those ocs , and respecting those artists, was more of a seal of friendship than building a natural friendship. What I thought was a kind gesture was crossing a boundary. And it put those creators in uncomfortable positions. Not on

This fandom made me so happy that whenever I saw someone lose interest or leave, I felt scared I would lose that happiness. It’s also why I reacted to people leaving Rads server. I also tried to make sure people got along and felt scared when people fought or were angry with each other and would share it with those who knew another, out of fear of people breaking apart. To keep the peace, I didn’t want people to misunderstand each other because I knew how scary that feeling was. And I saw myself in turn, being so intent to be happy and checking on people if they were ok, as annoying. None of this is an excuse, I got too invasive and involved. In wanting to make friends and felt liked and belonging as well, I got too nervous that I was stressing people out and panicked, asking if I was annoying them. And yet I kept doing it just to be liked and validated. Because I feared being disliked and alone more than anything in the world, and developed unhealthy coping habits I feared to stop, afraid to develop healthy ones only fearing “what if the healthy ones won’t work? The current one can’t be hurting anyone.” They did, and it snowballed to what lead up to this.

I was selfish in trying to avoid paranoia and keep myself happy without taking another’s feelings into consideration. I will no longer be doing such and will keep it completely between my therapists. And the reason I didn’t before, is I feared they wouldn’t understand fandom or my fears well.

I kept wanting others happiness but also my own, and it conflicted with each other, and I got selfish. Sometimes you have got to sacrifice your own happiness to make others happy, but I wanted both. And it made me controlling just to have both.

It’s been scary writing this all out, I have autism, anxiety disorder, but its not an excuse. I can’t undo what I did, I wish I could, knowing how many people I hurt, But I can move forward with healthier skills I’ve gained and learned from Group therapy and the therapist. Though I tend to fear the unknown when it comes to the future. I won’t be doing what I did before for certain. After all what happened, I understand if you guys don’t want to forgive me, I still can’t forgive myself. But I never want to hurt anyone like that again. I want to be a better person.

I don’t know what to do from here, I'm still in group therapy for healthier skills so I can be a better person and never do this again. I don’t know if I’ll come back here. I understand if I’m wanted gone. I can only say sorry so many times. But I hope everyone can be at peace.

#pizza tower #drama #personal #made it read more so people can avoid it if they wish

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oceane4loveu · 2 years ago

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☾𝕄𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 BEAUTY ☾: 1 week to glow up

I really need a quick and simple glow up because I'm starting my job soon so I created a program to glow up in 1 week and really get to know myself and improve myself physically and mentally. You can do this program in 2 weeks or more if you want.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day 1: lunar preparation

★shadow work: It’s time to work on yourself, answer their questions to get to know yourself better.

1. What did my childhood need most?

2. What am I avoiding?

3. What am I addicted to?

4. What secrets am I hiding and why?

5. Am I honest with myself and others?

6. What are my biggest misconceptions about myself?

7. What are my biggest fears?

8. What should I give up?

9. Am I a victim of trauma? Have I done enough to heal?

10. What do I need to forgive myself for?

11. What lessons do I still need to learn?

12. What do I want most in this life?

13. What are the first signs you notice and know that your mental health is deteriorating?

14. Do I try to hide parts of myself from others? Why ?

15. What was I like when I was a child?

16. What's the worst way someone could describe you?

★moodboard: makes a Moodboard that reflects your aspirations and your inspirations that you can look at every morning; you can put it as a wallpaper or hang it on the wall.

★ Do a major cleaning: tidy your room, delete numbers, sort through your phone, sort through your series and films, social media and my playlist, cut off toxic people.

★make a list of all your goals, choose 4 big goals in your life and separate them into smaller goals to make them easier to achieve.

★create a morning and night routine: you can copy that of someone who inspires you or simply create your own.

★do 1 hour of sport per day

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day2:inner radiance

★ start Journaling: write down your thoughts, your emotions, your thoughts for the day and also positive affirmations.

★make a list of things you like about yourself

★become softer:

1. When someone calls you, first turn to the person and smile: This helps you to be gentler and more polite towards the person you are talking to and after smiling it gives you the opportunity to speak in a kinder tone.

2. think before you speak: this is very important when learning to speak softer because it gives you time to pay attention to the tone of your voice and also be careful with the things you say.

3. Avoid yelling at others out of frustration: Yelling is the most important thing you should avoid when trying to speak softer. When you're frustrated or going through a tough time, try doing something you enjoy to calm yourself down like music, drawing, etc. instead of taking it out on others. if someone tries to make you angry, politely tell them to stop and don't let your anger control you.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day3:educational brilliance

-listen to a podcast: I only listen to podcasts in French but if you don't like listening to podcasts you can watch videos from tam kaur, thewizardliz, simonesquared and more

-read a book: I recommend atomic habit, ikigai, the why cafe, the other books that I read are in French.

-learn a new language: on YouTube there are plenty of videos that you can find on the language of your choice.

-learn another skill: I chose to improve my computer skills but you can choose any skill it can be drawing, cooking whatever you want.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day4:celestial radiance

-work on self-love

-work on self-esteem

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day5:lunar dream

-spa day at home

-meditation

-listen to your favorite music

-watch your favorite series or films

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day6: lunar flight

-find your ikigai: that is to say your reason for being, explore your passions, your values and your talents to really find what motivates you here is an example:

-Black Swan mindset: the Black Swan mindset is about knowing your value and not letting others tell you your value, it is a mindset of trust and knowledge of your value.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day7:moonlight beauty

become more feminine

1-have good posture: gives you more elegance, you seem taller and more confident.

2-smell good have a characteristic scent: could remind someone of you, smell good shows that you care about your hygiene.

3-Getting Your Nails Done: Getting your nails done could make you look confident and well-groomed.

4-style your hair: hair is a key point of your appearance and a good hairstyle could automatically make you even more beautiful.

5-wear jewelry: simple jewelry can enhance your outfit a lot and bring out your features.

things to do every day

☆ Workout

☆ Learn a new skill

☆ Listen to subliminals

☆ Meditate

☆ Read a book

☆ Do Journaling

☆ Listen to Podcasts

I'm going to start tomorrow and to stay organized and always have an idea of what I have to do I created a simple Notion if you want it's right here જ⁀➴

𝕄𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 BEAUTY

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chichirid · 6 months ago

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hii, sorry if you've answered this before but what do you use to make your edits ? your stuff is so cool it's inspiring me to try it out for myself hdkghdkgj,,

oh my gosh tysm 🥺 i really appreciate this but ill just get straight into the list! underlined = link , highlighted is website names

sorry for the long post i ended up yapping.. tldr photopea, ezgif, lunapic, alphabetiser, nameberry, magic baby names, baby centre, sekaipedia, pinterest, tumblr, . also at the bottom is a tutorial on making stamps & some templates

for basic editing i use photopea - https://www.photopea.com/ , if its too confusing you can also try ibis paint but its too confusing for me. i click "new project" and then use the dimensions i need ( tumblr banner = 1280x720 , twt banner = 1500x500 ). i can also make basic photopea functions tutorial if you need it bc a lot of people find it difficult to navigate. i dont have any specific favourite layer blends but i recommend light colours -> use the section under "lighten" , dark colours -> use the section under "darken" , blacks and whites -> use the section under "difference". of course once ur more comfortable u can just do whatver layer blends u want ^ ^

for gif editing / merging (layouts, pixels, blinkies) i use photopea's layer -> animation -> merge settings, however if that doesn't work i use ezgif - https://ezgif.com/ , specifically the gif maker.

for adding animations to stamps, i use lunapic's animations tab - https://www6.lunapic.com/editor/?action=animation-examples . i also used to use this website a lot for old layouts before i knew how to use photopea. below i highlighted my fav settings (3x for sizing)

for npts i use alphabetizer - https://alphabetizer.flap.tv/ to organise name lists. if you use this make sure to turn ON "ignore case" in the side menu!! it sorts capital letters as normal, and then i delete the capital letters later when formatting a post. for names i use websites like nameberry, magic baby names, and baby center. not sure how to explain it but i just get a feeling that a name suits a character ^ ^. as an example in all of these i used "orchid". for titles and pronouns i just use my imagination based off the character's wiki page.

for resources: i find proseka transparents online at sekaipedia - https://www.sekaipedia.org/wiki/Characters , or at @prosekaipng or @sekaitransparents . i find frames and pngs on pinterest or tumblr, and use unscreen to remove the background of gifs and remove.bg to remove the background of any image i cant be bothered manually removing. when i need to do touch-ups myself i use photopea

i find colour matches for layouts on pinterest, and then edit the shit out of them until it looks close enough to a colour palette (example below of some colour editing i've done recently). most of the things i do are extreme changes but i started off by making subtle changes in my old layout posts on lunapic, which i still sometimes do today like in the last example from a post currently sitting in my drafts i havent finished. (￣￣|| )

(this is how i found out my emu photopea file didnt save btw so excuse the missing elements ...)

for overlays, btw i use A LOT OF THESE, and also lots of custom PSDs. a psd is basically a colouring file you overlay on top of something, and are similiar to smart filters. in photopea you can click "image -> adjustments -> (whatever)" and apply that to one singular image, and these are called smart filters because you can transfer them to other images by individually dragging them. OR you can click "layer -> new adjustment layer -> (whatever" and this is a PSD because it automatically applies to all images. in photoshop, there are no "smart filters" iirc. i use a combo of smart filters & psds & overlays. i find overlays sometimes on pinterest, but mainly on tumblr. my favs below. use layer blends on these!!

for stamps i use templates in photopea using a raster mask. you can find templates on tumblr and deviantart, majority of tumblr dumps are from deviantart, so i focus on using deviantart myself and finding original stamp works on tumblr rather than reposts. some accounts i recommend are caterpillar-with-a-crayon and dixons-graveyard. remember to credit artists!!

to do this, first open a template in photopea using either " file -> open " or " open from computer " . next select the magic wand and select the inside of the stamp. next open a new layer using the blank page (second from the right, bottom right, next to the trash can below the layers) and use the brush tool to colour in the selection from earlier. it may look like an eraser, or any other icons shown in the menu. right click and select the brush tool, then hold down to colour it in. you should have something now looking like the fourth slide, with a stamp template on one layer and the colour on a layer above it.

to make the raster mask, de-select the colour by clicking anywhere in the dark grey surrounding the canvas. while on the colour layer, select "layer" (fourth from the left, next to "image" and "select, menu in the top left), then select "raster mask" -> "from transparency" . your coloured layer will then split into the colour surrounded by black, and a white version of the colour. both connected with a chain.

now, create a folder above your stamp template by clicking the button shaped like a file (bottom right menu, 3rd from the right, between a sheet of paper and a circle cut in half). now, click on the RIGHT split from the layer (the white colouring) and drag it onto the folder. it should stick there. now, anything you put inside that folder will fit the stamp inside! remember to turn OFF the red layer by click the eyes next to the layer. this wont affect your raster mask. i used an image and the text tool.

you can also do more complex things involving stamps but this is a basic tutorial ^ ^.

#tutorial #editing #editblr #stamps #graphics #photopea #chichirid corner

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armoricaroyalty · 4 months ago

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How I organize my files:

Every time this subject comes up, people are like ??? so here's a quick explanation of how I do things

One folder per chapter, one subfolder per scene

I have a folder on my desktop where I dump all of my story-related files (screenshots, edits, WIPS, personal recolors), and every chapter/arc of my story has its own folder. Within that folder, I create a sub-folder for every scene.

Each folder is numbered and named with each of the major characters who appear in that scene. If there are scenes with the same characters, I number them. This helps with pacing and planning arcs within chapters, because I can see when characters appear and reappear and look for other patterns.

When I finish a scene, I rename the folder to add DONE. This is for the ease of tracking my progress and figuring out what I still need to work on. This is especially helpful if I decide to skip around and work out of order, as I did on this chapter!

Within each subfolder, numbered screenshots

I dump all the screenshots for a particular scene into my scene folder, and as I sort through and decide which screenshots to use in what order. I number the screenshots as I go, and I move the unused screenshot into the "not in use" folder.

000_letterbox is a template file I use that has my format and colors for captions, along with some other reference stuff saved. I copy the template folder into the scene subfolder, and then use it to begin editing the screenshots for each scene.

When I finish editing a screenshot, I export it and add a c for captioned to each screenshot name. That way, all the raw screenshots are in order, and all of the completed, edited screenshots are also in order, separate from the raw images.

Finished chapters go in the archive

When I finish a chapter, I copy any screenshots I especially like into a separate reference folder, delete the "not in use" folders to save disk space, and then I use 7-zip to compress each chapter into a zipped folder. I move the zipped folder into a portable drive and then delete the original unzipped chapter files off my computer.

Why I do this

I'm just like that. But also, it makes sure that my things are organized and I can easily find the original, raw file for a particular screenshot if I ever need to use it for anything.

There's not really a single best way to organize your files, but I think it's a good idea to come up with some kind of method. You don't need to go back and organize old stuff (unless you want to!) but it's nice to have a simple system to help you find stuff on your computer.

This is a transferable skill btw, if you end up with an office job and you're good at file management and can easily find stuff, people will think you're a genius.

#armorica tips #dont ask to see how i organize my mods folder because the answer is I don't #PVP enabled zone in there

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dallasgallant · 8 months ago

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Ok so it’s @your-unfriendlyghost w/ that goddamn Ao3 comment 🥲

For whatever reason, Ao3 keeps sayin that “We can’t upload your comment because the content is blank” when it like. CLEARLY ISN’T. I dunno what’s going on with that, so I’ll just paste it here 😭

(This is the comment I woulda commented on chapter 2 btw lol)

“Well, twenty-five just makes ya a delinquent… you ain’t a ‘juvenile’ then, man, it don’t got the same ring to it, ya know?” Steve muttered. < Damn, this is SUCH A GOOD LINE. It’s so real, yk? Like I know I personally get swept up in the fantasy of it all- of greasers and JDs and the adrenaline of teen rebellion- but someday (pretty soon now) I’ll grow up. And then it won’t be so fun anymore. For all the lousy stuff that comes with it, it’s fun bein a kid- But when I’m an adult I won’t be a cool rebel for pulling the shit I do now, I’ll just be sort of a loser. I dunno how to process that sometimes. But it’s nice seeing all that confusion put into words as succinctly as you did.

Was that it? Their only two options? Lose your life or your identity? Die young, hard and fast — just like everyone’s waiting for. Or grow up and watch your denim collar turn blue. <Ugh again this is painfully real. You capture the feelings of being a sorta wild teenager so damn well. And the line about denim collars turning blue is so like…poetic too. It’s real and also real pretty, yk?

Steve had never been particularly fond of the idea of aging, but he didn’t want to be a bum like Two-bit or a con like the Brumly boys. He realized when morning came, none of them would mention tonight. Not how it really was. <This is such a sad but significant insight. Both bits are- Steve’s acknowledgement of the fact that the future is coming, and the point that no one would talk about tonight- or at least not the real, raw, tragedy of it. You just don’t DO that, especially not as a group of teenage guys in the 60s, but even nowadays you don’t, least in my groups. And how can you? How can you make sense of that, of seeing something so gruesome and being so helpless…holy hell, I guess what I’m getting at is that this was a real observant point.

Their tears would be buried alongside their friends, and they’d come to accept some twisted narrative that served to make them feel better, instead. That’s what he’d do; make it about justice rather than loss. Feed his anger into some kind of action. He’d always been better with his hands than his words. <man I sound like a broken record here, but this is so real. I don’t like how true this rings. But like I do, yk? And god, it feels like so much of a STEVE thing to think, and a Steve way of saying it. You’ve really nailed his voice.

Anyhow, sorry for takin’ a minute to comment- after ao3 deleted the vast majority of my last one I couldn’t bring myself to type up anything substantial for a bit- but I needed to get it out at some point, because this is such an amazing fic. This bit of commentary just scratches the surface, because there’s so much I love here. Once again, great job.

Ahhhhhhh thank you, I honestly love this so much. Taking the time to point out these little details and things you relate to. It’s djsjsnsms glad people notice this stuff you know?

Not to make you have a comment get deleted on ao3 again but would love to hear chapter 3 thoughts or anything else you want about the fic lol. Love your insight.

—

I get that. I tend to romanticize the rebellious, both teen and adult. Idk maybe it’s because I’ve had a comfortable life and all but there’s also so much to go through and experience.

I’m glad this line is getting attention as I was really excited about being all poetic too! Lol, it seemed like the most expressive way to put it without having to over explain, I can’t even begin to imagine having to grapple with putting up such a distinct identity… though I imagine you’d have to pry the vest from Steve’s cold dead hands but we’re talking metaphorical.

Steve and the brand of masculinity all the guys are seeped in is such a fucking interesting thing to explore. Because there’s simultaneously so much fun with all the “boys will be boys” of it all but also… oh… you don’t know how to feel hard emotions in a healthy way.

Also just Steve has grown on me so much and I think it’s really being in his head and it’s he’s more than the best buddy and he has his place in the friend group. His loyalty and sensitivity may compare him to others in the gang but what’s great about him and them is that there’s other aspects that make even those emotions distinct to them.

#hope it’s ok to publish this as I really wanted to respond!#the outsiders #Steve angst fic #comment

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cosmerelists · 1 year ago

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Kelsier and Taravangian Have A Conversation

Inspired by these two being compared in Kelsier's Coppermind entry.

[Contains major spoilers for Mistborn and Stormlight Archive!]

Kelsier: So, you're a king, huh?

Kelsier: Exactly the sort of person I'd assassinate, back in the day.

Taravangian: Yes, those in power can rarely be trusted.

Taravangian: In my case, I do, uh, run a large-scale hospital that welcomes all.

Kelsier: Knowing what nobles are like, it's probably a front to hide some sort of greater crime.

Taravangian: Ha, ha, yeah! I actually use it as a front to kill people in order to obtain the prophecies delivered by the dying, hoping to piece together enough clues to save the world. It's one of the only reliable ways to obtain reliable information about the world's fate.

Taravangian: You know how it is. Somebody has to be willing to do whatever it takes to save humanity, no matter the cost.

Kelsier: Damn it.

Taravangian: Hmmm?

Kelsier: I hate it when the worst person I know makes a good point.

Taravangian: Oh? That's not usually the reaction I get.

Taravangian: Usually it's something more like "Oh my dear god you monster why"

Kelsier: Well sure. That's a perfectly normal reaction.

Kelsier: Which is why it takes people like us to actually save the world.

Kelsier: I sacrificed myself and had a friend eat my bones to create a mystical religion and overthrow an immortal god-king.

Taravangian: How did eating your bones help?

Kelsier: Oh, it was a kandra. They can ingest bones and then reconstruct the original body.

Kelsier: Is that really the first question you had, though?

Taravangian: I mean, dramatic martyrdom that spawns a religion in order to manipulate the masses seems pretty straight-forward.

Kelsier: ...It took a lot of planning, you know.

Taravangian: Well, but that's the fun part, isn't it?

Taravangian: I may be damning my own soul, but storms if it isn't fun to lay out an extravagant plot every now and again.

Taravangian: My Diagram was written over the walls and floors of an entire room!

Taravangian: Good times.

Kelsier: Unhinged scrawls on a wall? Seems like a hard sell for your crew.

Taravangian: Bah! If people are put off by genius that spills off the page, then you need better men.

Kelsier: With all sincerity--I could not have had better men.

Kelsier: Take Spook. He started off as a just a scrawny skaa, but in the end, he was in charge of an empire with me as a his ghost advisor, and we made great progress in hemalurgy.

Kelsier: Speaking of doing whatever it takes.

Taravangian: I'm not familiar with 'hemalurgy.'

Kelsier: Oh, you'd like it. You can take investiture from people using special spikes. It kills them, of course, but the power does not die with them.

Kelsier: I think it's probably gonna save the world. My world, at least.

Taravangian: You know, I hadn't wanted to ask about the spike in your eye since it seemed impolite, but...

Kelsier: Yup. Hemalurgy.

Taravangian: Fascinating! I wonder if it would work for my world too.

Kelsier: Probably! If my agents on your world ever get their shit together, maybe we'll find out.

Taravangian: ...You have agents on my world?

Kelsier: Well, yeah. What, are you not out into the wider Cosmere yet?

Taravangian: Look, I only just became a god. I'll get there!

Kelsier: Well, I can't wait to battle with you for supremacy in the hope of sacrificing your world to save mine.

Taravangian: Aw, thanks! Right back at you.

Kelsier: We'll probably need to deal with that bastard Hoid first, though.

Taravangian: Eh, he's not so bad if you have the power to delete his memory.

Kelsier: You...got one over on Hoid?

Kelsier: Could this be...love?

Taravangian: No, I think it's just the warm glow of something bad happening to Hoid.

Kelsier: Yeah, that must be it.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Kelsier #Taravangian #Hoid

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kindlespice · 1 year ago

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🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

#now...#is it extra if i change my theme right before i leave for an indefinite period of time?#...#it's never stopped me before!#also i hate this knock-off twitter layout i wanna burn it all down #why can't i put a real line in my text posts anymore i--#i take it all back #the tumblr changes are the reason i'm on hiatus #>:|#kspice.text

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fearcrowz · 3 months ago

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I feel like a lot of young people need to hear that advice you gave. I'm not trying to call anyone out, but I've seen art posted made by young people on Twitter and animated videos and shorts young people made on YouTube and then either get upset that their videos or original art works aren't making those big numbers like the want.

I've seen a lot of young people get upset when their fan works, both art and videos, do better than their original works and then either give up for some reason or delete their fan works hoping to draw attention to their original works. News flash, it doesn't work. It had the opposite effect actually.

But yeah, I think a lot of young creatives need to hear your advice because they seem too focus on numbers and growth and wanting to stand out without understanding what they actually want or liking what they are even putting out or even knowing what kind of audience they are trying to court.

Almighty rambling below ✨️

The art world is really hard to be in these days. A lot of it is luck based, sometimes algorithms don't even work. Sometimes it isn't even us, sometimes it just depends on one certain person to share our art and it sees thousands. I knew someone who was stuck at like 4-6k and they made one post and the next morning they already hit 40k followers. Sometimes it's just pure luck. (Totally am happy for them btw)

It's not an easy dream and the chances of it happening overnight is like 0.0001% out of like thousands. I've had this dream since I was like... 13 to be an artist, make comics, go to conventions, etc. As someone has posted nonstop constantly for almost 20 years, I haven't been able to do any of these things, you can tell the dream is not easy. (But to be honest, my life is not good and never was growing up, and I had a lot of things taken away from me at a very young age, so just because I suck major balls and can't get anywhere doesn't mean YOU can't!!! DON'T GIVE UP EVER AHHHHH)

I've tried to figure it out for so long on why I'm a ghost in the machine, but after awhile you just grow tired and just draw whatever, it is NOT worth the stress at all. Never give up, do all sorta of things, everything, all the things and keep posting and posting and posting. If you keep posting it will get there, that I can promise you. It may not be tonight or tomorrow or the next month but it will get up there in time.

When I was a teen, things were much harder to share and stretch out. Nowadays these kids got all these social media and tags and can draw and animate on easier programs and all sorts of things now. I think they can do it, they just have to have a lot of patience, and have very strong unmoving willpower of pure stubborness. It isn't suppose to be easy. But who knows? Maybe one day you make the right thing and it hits big? But until then DRAW for yourself and your OWN GROWTH, not for the sake of being the next big thing. This job isn't going to pay you in followers or money any time soon if you are startin' out. You're gonna have to get jobs to support this dream, you are gonna have to do a lotta things you dont wanna, but if you love art as much as I do, I know you can do it. Like I said before, art is a passion, and though some people say "oh you are so gifted and talented"... well yeah you are! But you also have to WORK for it. Art world ain't free baby. Gotta work your butt off. A lot. Even when you get ✨️famous✨️, you still have to work your butt off. Especially if you get money. IRS loves artist money they stick their grubby feelers in it like crazy.

All I'm saying is if I can keep going in my state, I absolutely KNOW you can. Whether it is for fun hobby, for dreams, for work, for whatever you wanna make your art. We are constantly growing as humans, and decisions will change, but if you are firm on what you wanna be, it will happen. I can promise you that and I cheer anyone who reads this to have all their dreams come true! I want them to very much so.

#fearasks

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sophieinwonderland · 11 months ago

Note

Not that prev religion anon, but the fact is, you’re not just hurting sysmeds “in their bigotry.” You’re hurting pro-endos too, such as myself, by saying these sorts of things so loudly and with no nuance.

I love the idea of a plural God for others, but not for me. I don’t agree with the idea based on my teachings. But furthermore, I don’t agree with my God being used to… further… plural acceptance? That’s not the point of spreading Christianity.

If you’re looking for actual theological discussions, then yes! Fuck yes discuss! But you aren’t. It doesn’t feel like you’re saying God is plural out of any desire for theological debate or a deeper understanding of Christianity. It feels like you’re using it solely to upset anti-endos into foaming at the mouths loudly enough that Christians will look at you and… somehow go, “Oh, this plural thing sounds good!” And that will somehow make plural acceptance a thing.

I don’t like feeling so used. ):

I'm sorry you feel that way.

But furthermore, I don’t agree with my God being used to… further… plural acceptance? That’s not the point of spreading Christianity.

Right. Of course. The point of Christianity is spreading homophobia and taking away people's bodily autonomy...

Yes, I know that's not true of all Christians. But the point I want to make is that... I think we need to acknowledge that the Church is always used for politics. And there's power in whoever can use it best to their advantage. If it's not us, it will be the pluralphobes.

Can I ask, have you thought about what a plural future will entail?

Or, to be more specific, have you thought about the Church's place in a plural future?

Because I have, and frankly, it's more than a little worrying.

Did you see the article about tulpamancy from Rod Dreher?

Either the tulpa is a wholly psychological phenomenon generated by the mind, or it is an unusual way of allowing a demonic spirit to take possession. Or perhaps both. It is at best a sign of great mental disturbance, and at worst a sign of evil spirits inhabiting a person’s body. Whatever the case, it ain’t good.

Then there was the right-winger not too long ago who infiltrated a plurality panel at a gender conference, and claim she felt a demonic presence. She's STILL claiming this plurality conference caused her to be possessed by a demon.

And in fact, the first time I ever brought up the Trinity being plural wasn't on my Tumblr blog. It was in a catholic subreddit in response to members saying that tulpas sounded demonic. (I regret deleting those comments now.)

Like it or not, widespread plural awareness means that plurality WILL become a topic in churches. And we can't afford to allow the narrative to be shaped by the right-wing evangelicals alone. We NEED to get ahead of this and appeal to churches before it comes to that.

Because I already have a pretty good idea of what talking points they're going to be churning out.

They'll say that plurality is evil. That we're getting children to open themselves up to demonic forces. They'll say that our experiences of plurality are impossible because God designed each of us to be one person, and anyone claiming otherwise is delusional. I mean, this is pretty much what they're saying right now, just on a smaller scale.

So this is my counternarrative. God is plural and Mankind is made in God's likeness. To claim plurality is unnatural is to claim God is unnatural. To hate plurals is to hate God. Coming our of the gates with this will be an immense help in the battle to come.

And I do realize that this only applies to Trinitarians, but that's the large majority of Christians.

If you don't agree with my methods, that's fine. But I think the seeds need to be planted now. We have a chance to gain a foothold in this conversation before it really starts. Because let me tell you, once it really kicks off, the rightwing talking points will spread fast and countering them isn't going to be easy. Changing a firm belief is way more difficult than convincing someone who is undecided.

Every sympathetic Christian we can introduce to the idea that God is plural is hopefully going to be somewhat inoculated against the right-wing propaganda when it comes in full force.

We're going to need every advantage we can possibly get when we're going up against these massive right-wing evangelical Christian institutions.

And I've decided that potentially offending a few people along the way, even a few pro-endos, is going to be worth the long-term benefits.

#syscourse #systempunk #syspunk #pro endogenic #pro endo #religion #politics #political #christianity #sysblr #multiplicity #actually plural #actually a system

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