#i really needed to hear this today
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My statement is that you're a very good bean, and I enjoy seeing you on my dash ouob
That is so sweet of you to say Lynn!!!
You're such a peach!
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hi! ahh i love your fic and art!! citrus and lavender is one of my favourite fics and im loving bell the cat!!! and your art is so cute and all your au's are to die for 😌
Thank you so much, anon! ❤️ That's really sweet of you to say! I'm so glad you enjoy my writing and art 🥹💕
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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To every trans person realizing their gender makes them straight:
You are good. Not despite your sexuality but because of it. Please don’t let yourself be ashamed about it.
There are queer people who say male heterosexuality is disgusting. There are queer people who say female heterosexuality is stupidity. There are queer people who will laugh about how silly and nasty it would be to be straight only to halfheartedly say “oh I guess trans straight people are the exception!” There are transphobes who pretend they’d care more about you if you just admit to your internalized homophobia/lesbophobia and stop being trans.
They’re all so fucking wrong. You are good for who you love. You are not ‘one of the good ones’, you are just simply good. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking idiot.
You have a place in the queer community. You belong there as much as anyone else
#transhet#i definitely needed someone to tell me this when i was figuring out my gender#and no one really did#and so today I’ll say it just in case some other people need to hear it#queerhet
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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Sending the love right back at you!
The way you write Alan and Sam is SOOOO wholesome! All your characters are very distinct from one another, and it never fails to amaze me. I love grumpy old man tron (even though I've never had a thread with him, and... wow, that needs to be remedied...), I love funky gremlin man Dyson, clueless, stressed Sam is precious (and such a mood, tbh), and Alan... Alan is wholesome beyond words and I want to wrap him in a large fuzzy blanket.... I could go on about all your other characters... Even the way you portrayed Sark was fantastic.
I love reading all your threads, I get excited every time I see them on my dash. You're so talented, man. I can't even be jealous, I'm just in awe.
Augh thank you so much you've no idea what this means to me. I don't know why but I am constantly afraid that my characters are muddied or ooc. I'm gonna screenshot this ask for a rainy day
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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staff logging on to tumblr dot com today
#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site#changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too#this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus#if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear#if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine#the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money#someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont#tumblr staff#EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but#that doesnt stop the post from being stupid#the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase#if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything'#staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did#so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post#edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post#they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us#i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded#and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money#tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol#ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years#but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one
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hobbies include: sketching phos (particularly not having a great time). yeah this is just a sketch dump pretty much!.
the last 3 were done while listening to the most phos-core song ive ever heard: Low – More (discovered thanks to @punpuncake) (no seriously, google the lyrics. mind-blowingly accurate. angst.mp3.)
aaand a bonus sketch from an aggie.io session with friends – blindingly white next to the previous pics, so im putting it under the cut:
#phos#phos hnk#phosphophyllite#houseki no kuni#land of the lustrous#.txt#hnk#i honestly really am just.#a big fan of how it (phos). crumbles under all the pressure. literally. self-destructs is how i read it being described today#like it cant handle all of this#so it crumbles and melts away sometimes with a big pow in an explosion and sometimes kind of quietly#just letting its hands lose their form letting the alloy drip through the cracks#it scratches my brain like nothing else#for some reason#maybe it's how it isn't being addressed in the manga directly.... nobody says a thing about it it doesn't get acknowledged verbally iirc#but it very much happens regularly and no explanation is even needed yoy just understand#;_;#i want to hold phos#oh lmao *you#yoy is such a funny typo i instantly hear my inner reading voice's speech being reversed like in a ytp
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Asking in good faith (check my blog if you want) but what's the trans Nova Graxx Bunny Girl's @? Does she have social media? Please, I loved her speech, it genuinely made me tear up. MagicThighs your speech made my day, I hope you see this somehow. 💖🥺
If needed, send it privately over because I understand the potential dangers & things obviously, I just wanna drop a follow if she has an account or something because omg that cosplay is so good & omg she made me tear up. 🥺💜
#someone send this to her please if you know her; I really needed to hear something like that today; I've been going through it#you were my favorite cosplayer out of the competitive category I hope you know that; from one animal sister to another im sending you love💜#magicthighs if you're out there thank you for being visibly you; i know how hard that is to do & I stand with you on that 💖#I don't have much to say; i just really want her to see this & to follow her cosplay account or whatever if she has anything like that#also bunny ears are a permanent cosmetic now?!? i somehow missed that im so salty I didn't get my hands on them last easter event now#that is massive news to me & a massive W too at that! 💜#warframe cosplay#warframe#tennocon 2024#tennocon#nova graxx#nova cosplay#bunny nova#nova bunny#through the looking glass#nova#mine#op
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do you ever realize after masking intentionally and unintentionally so much in your life, you completely forget who you are.. and how it feels like every time you mimic someone you lose a part of yourself and personality. and fear you’ll never figure out who you are or who you were once.
yeah.
anyway pictures of moth !!!
#YEAHHH#came out to my neurotypical friend as autistic today and she was like “but you don’t act like one”#SIGHHHHHH#the quote i hear a million times#i’m just decent at masking i think#copying other people’s behaviors can be easy SOMETIMES#but i think i really need to learn to just be myself i know it’s a overused lesson but god it’s so hard for me now..#ANYWAY ROSY MAPLE MOTH N MORE…#my babies forever i love you i wish i could give you forehead kisses but too little :(#ily ily ily#moths#neurodivergent#autism#adhd#tw bugs
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Richard Lester introduces the European trailer for A Hard Day’s Night, filmed at Twickenham Studios on 3rd April 1964
#paul trying to hold it all together as always#I don't know why hearing john saying 'hey paul' feels me with such joy but it does#I really did recognise that wall straight away#my old vhs of ahdn came with a postcard of them in the prams so I’ve never really thought of it as strange until now#poor twickenham#we need to give it less credit as the miserable get back location and more love for ahdn#the beatles#john lennon#paul mccartney#george harrison#ringo starr#richard lester#a hard day's night#it was sixty years ago today
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Luke via Shan Rizwan on IG
#all the love to ig user Shan Rizwan for the content today but Tumblr is tumblring & i had to keep editing the pic to get it to post 😭😭#5sos#5 seconds of summer#luke hemmings#luke#instagram#other ig#boy ep#boy#my tags for this era are so inconsistent I really need to figure out what I'm doing 😭😭😭#kh4f post#so yeah Tumblr deleted my og post and like 3 reposts so i have no idea what my tags were originally#i definitely mentioned that he is tall#and perhaps broad#I probably acted like i wasn't looking at his neck but dear reader I am looking at his neck#definitely noted how much i love that his hair is growing out#i need long hair Luke back in time for my show 😭😭#long hair Luke at the Fonda last year was a miracle and a surprise and a religious experience can lightning strike twice for me pls#manifest it oh please hear me cries dear thirst gods don't i deserve a lil treat#anyways#Luke in a suit with a T-shirt and sneakers is my preferred Luke in case you were wondering#yeah Vampire Luke has been fun yeah Model Luke is great and obviously slutty stage Luke is Important#but suit + t-shirt is just 🤌🏻 everything idk why#i had more to say but then i got distracted looking at the forehead curls#bye 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
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i kind of sort of really hate cringe culture.i hate this idea that you should feel ashamed that you should self flagellate the seconf you experience any sort of self indulgent joy about anything ever that is one of the worst feelings in the whole world. screw cringe culture do whatever yuou want forever i know its been said a dozen times but its true. write that fanfic draw that self insert x canon ship art make those amvs do what makes you happy if it brings you joy then its good and its worth being made and no onehas the right to take that away from you.
#sorry. emotions go Brrrrr lol#brambles#on todays episode of “feeling awful and cringe so i make a post basically sayinf the stuff i really need to hear” :sparkles:
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It’s Teddy Thursday because I watched this episode last night and this poster and Teddy’s voice keeps playing on loop in my mind.
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Listen, you CANNOT tell me that they didn’t meet at least ONCE
Please accept my headcanon that Rondo just keeps growing out his hair to wear it like Sazantos, thank you
#ZootaDoodles#Octopath#Once again if you search up anything on Rondo Ravus you WILL PROBABLY GET SLAPPED IN THE FACE WITH SPOILERS#Anyways just hear me out on this okay#Therion pops in through the window and there's just this ridiculously tall man standing there with a sword#Instead of thinking oh that must be her brother he immediately assumes Heathcote was sacked#OR that this guy broke in somehow and therefore must be really REALLY strong and therefore Therion is in trouble#Also UGH I had the hardest time drawing Rondo today but I needed to get this out of my system#It makes me happy that we have a mostly coherent timeline of the first OCTOPATH game and CotC#If we say that the attack when Rondo was 13 was the same one that Cordelia and him lost their parents in then that makes Rondo 23 y/o now#Octopath Traveler#Octopath Traveler CotC#Octopath CotC#Rondo Ravus#Therion#Octopath Therion#Cordelia Ravus#CotC
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