#i really really hope this makes sense

[carriehobbs]

i mentioned that each of my detectives have at least one central issue that defines a significant part of their lives and personality. then i was asked to elaborate on this thought.

to me, i can't divorce how these characters are in-game from why these characters are that way. so i think i'll need to start at the beginning.

under the cut for (very long) length.

this is an obligatory reminder that i have a list of my detectives here, along with some of their dominant traits and their romance routes. think of this as a handy cheat sheet, if you'd like one.

when i first heard about wayhaven, it was shortly after book 3 had been released and someone i follow had been posting about the a route. so, going in to playing, all i really knew about wayhaven was a very small bit about a (namely that their route involved a lot of will-they-won't-they slowburn denial) and that they, as the only character i knew in the game, were the ro i intended to romance first.

thus, when i made lauren renfield, my adam-romancing detective, i had only one question in mind to guide her character: what kind of person would not only tolerate being jerked around by someone who is supposed to love them, but would come back willingly?

the answer i came to was: someone who desperately wants to be loved enough by someone for them to choose her.

from this concept naturally emerged lauren's terrible relationship with rebecca. stats-wise, their relationship is bad and, though it fluctuates somewhat, it stays bad. the issue in their relationship isn't that lauren doesn't know that rebecca loves her, because she does know this (how could she not when rebecca says as much surprisingly frequently?), but lauren also knows that rebecca is incapable of loving her in a way that (in her view) has any meaning.

to lauren, love is choice. you can feel the emotion of love for someone, but it means nothing if you will not choose to be with or stand beside that person. and she knows that rebecca will never choose her or prioritize her, especially not over the agency. there have been enough times as it is where her life has been in danger and rebecca has come to her to tell her how worried she is, only to receive an agency phone call and leave within five minutes to take it (for example, the end of book 1 or, if i remember correctly, in book 3 where the ro interrupts the detective and rebecca talking to say that the agency couldn't reach rebecca for a phone call, which she then leaves to take).

so lauren knows that she will never be rebecca's priority and that rebecca will never choose her, but god does that not stop her from wanting. every time rebecca reaches out or expresses concern, there's some part of her that truly believes that maybe this time will be different. she cannot stop herself from reaching back. and yet every time it is not different: rebecca still leaves and still shows her where she exists in the hierarchy of things rebecca deems important. and then the other part of her berates herself for always getting her hopes up. in truth, lauren hates herself for this - her ultimate, incurable weakness.

and so, as one does when they grow up this way, lauren eventually came to see herself as the kind of person that no one would ever choose. she grew detached and distant from other people, and then ultimately abandoned trying to form meaningful personal relationships in favour of focusing on her work (which, in turn, conveniently gave her an excuse for not having personal relationships - it's not that she's isolated herself, it's that she's too busy with work). her work becomes her source of pride and from where she derives her internal sense of her own value. she lives in a home she's barely furnished because she spends all her time at work. (prior to meeting ub) her closest friends are tina and verda, who she met through work and who she does not believe actually like her. she genuinely cares about them, but she believes that they see her as little more than a particularly competent coworker. she hates bobby, but she always lets him back in to her house and her life because he seems to be the only person who keeps coming back for her, even if it's only for his own self-serving interests.

enter adam du mortain.

lauren does not doubt that adam is in love with her. nor, really, does she doubt that she's in love with him. the problem with adam is that his favourite hobby is dangling the possibility that maybe this time he will confess to his own feelings, only to pull away when she tries to get close. and lauren falls for it every time. as much as she hates herself for it, she cannot stop herself from hoping that this time adam will stay. she's never the first one to pull away. so many of the problems present in her relationship with rebecca repeat themselves in her relationship with adam. she knows that she loves him and that he loves her, and she also knows that he will never choose to be with her (and so ultimately his love does nothing but hurt her), but every time he offers her any affection or hint of closeness, she can't help but hope that maybe this time things will be different.

the second detective i made was alina langford, my nate-romancing detective. after lauren's bad relationship with rebecca, i wanted to play through wayhaven with a detective who has a good relationship with rebecca. i knew i wanted alina to be a fundamentally kind person (i've mentioned previously that i need to play a nice person who wants to make friends with everyone at least once) but, much like with when i made lauren, i asked myself one central question that underpinned much of how alina developed as a character: what kind of person could be raised by an absentee parent and still love them uncritically?

for alina, the answer i came to was: someone who cannot see that they deserve better.

alina never blamed rebecca for her absences growing up; instead, she made excuses for her. rebecca wanted to be home on time, but she's just very busy. her job is very important. it would be selfish, even, to be upset when rebecca is doing her best. she just has a very busy, very important job. rebecca loves her. rebecca wants to be there. and when rebecca is there, alina soaks up as much of her time and attention as she can get, so grateful to be getting any of it at all that she never considers what more she could have.

over time, alina learned to see herself as less important. not just less important than rebecca's work, but less important than everything. it's not that she thinks she deserves to be treated poorly, per se, as much as it is that she can't really recognize that she deserves to be treated better.

consider, as an example, alina's relationship with bobby: i've always imagined them dating in college for about 2-3 years and even living together. i think that alina really was in love with him at first, but then that feeling slipped away as their relationship progressed (up until she broke up with him after she caught him plagiarizing her work). i don't think that they were miserable together (though i don't imagine they were particularly happy either), and i think that, for the most part, they stayed together because it was easier to do so than to break up. alina could not even consider that she might deserve a better relationship than this: that she might deserve romance and passion and a relationship that gives her more than just consistency.

all of this, of course, is compounded by the fact that alina has been constantly, painfully lonely her whole life. her self-confidence suffered significantly. she lost (if she ever had) the ability to view herself as someone with value to contribute. she comes off as incredibly humble - constantly trying to share any accolades or credit she may receive and downplaying her own achievements - almost uncomfortably so. she doesn't think much of herself, and so she does not think to ask for much either.

as a result, her relationship with nate surprises her. in book 1 (especially just before the murphy attack, when he tries to kiss her), she doesn't think he takes her seriously - he's a special agent with a secretive supernatural government agency, whereas she's just some detective who didn't even deserve her position. once they're dating, however, he treats her the way no partner ever has before. she's taken aback every time by his thoughtfulness, his care, his love for her, because she never thought being on the receiving end of all that was even a possibility. she never knew that something like this could exist, and certainly never knew she could have it for herself.

alina told nate that she loved him in the book 3 research scene, which is the moment she realized that she loved him, but in my heart of hearts i know that the scene played out differently. instead, when he showed her everything he had arranged for them out in the garden, she says to him tearfully and in that bewildered way, where something is so wonderful and unexpected and incomprehensible that it hurts old wounds you forgot you had, that no one had ever done something like this before and that she loves him. in that moment she knew and in that moment it erupted unexpectedly out of her - she wouldn't have been able to wait until later while they were doing research to tell him.

after alina came sydney "syd" kingston, my morgan-romancing detective. syd didn't have a central question, but came into being because i wanted to play a sarcastic asshole (neither lauren or alina are the type). i also knew i was romancing morgan, so my character inspiration for this romance route was "two cunts in love". syd cares a lot about people, and actually cares a lot about her job, but it's all hidden so far underneath a veneer of assholery and dickishness that most people don't really get to see it.

syd is fine. syd is always fine. syd is never not fine. her relationship with rebecca is fine (to the point that she was taken aback in book 3 when rebecca wanted to be closer, because why would rebecca want that? things are fine). her recovery (mentally and physically) from murphy and the trappers is fine. her relationship with morgan is fine (in book 3, she realized that she's in love with morgan, and immediately decided to never tell her. in her mind, morgan has warmed up to her as a person and as a friend, but their relationship was set out to be explicitly and exclusively sexual back in book 2, no feelings involved. as far as syd knows, this is still the agreement between them. so morgan can never know that she has feelings). no one needs to worry about her. she's fine.

but she can never not be fine, because if she starts to pull the thread of this particular sweater, she will unravel the whole thing. if she acknowledges that what murphy did to her was traumatizing and that she still has nightmares about it, it will mean that she has to reassess everything else she has ever been "fine" about: if she thought she was fine with murphy but is actually decidedly not fine, then what other things has she said were "fine" that aren't? it means opening the door to not just acknowledging but feeling her anger at rebecca for being absent during her childhood. it means being vulnerable with people and being sincere about the ways that she has been hurt.

so she doesn't examine any of it. she's fine. it's all fine.

after syd came andrea "andy" reeves, my farah-romancing detective. i actually struggled the most with andy (i had to do two passes at her character) and i only settled into what she's like after a) i figured out what's wrong with her and b) i explicitly made her a lesbian. andy is in the unique position amongst my detectives of having what's wrong with her be (almost) completely unrelated to rebecca!! congrats andy!! 🎉🎉

andy's relationship with rebecca is also unique in that it is the most dynamic of all of my detectives': lauren's relationship starts bad and stays bad, alina's relationship starts good and stays good, and syd's relationship starts meh and is (at least for now) likely to stay meh. andy's relationship, in comparison, starts bad, and starts to get better in book 3.

andy spent her entire childhood hating rebecca and acting out against her. much like lauren, andy realized from a young age that rebecca would never give her the kind of love that she wanted in the ways that she wanted it, and she decided that having nothing was better than having something less than what she wanted. andy felt so much anger towards her mother for years. it was only in book 2, when she was talking to farah about how farah came to our world from echo world (farah mentions her mother, but doesn't explicitly state that her mother is dead/didn't make it through the portal until book 3 - but andy's not an idiot), that she began to reassess. over the end of book 2/the time between books 2 and 3, she thought about what would happen if rebecca died or if she died while doing this job. it's clearly a dangerous job: rook died doing it, andy's almost died several times doing it. andy took for granted, i think, the idea that rebecca would always be around to hate, but hearing farah's story about losing her own mother made her realize that that assumption isn't true. and andy realized in that moment that if something happened and she never got the chance to speak to rebecca again, all she would be able to think would be that all of this, all of the anger and hatred, had been so stupid.

in book 3, she tells rebecca that she wants them to grow closer. she still knows that rebecca will not be able to give her what she spent her life wanting, nor would they ever get the time back, but she feels now that she was wrong before: her relationship with rebecca will be different than what she always wanted, but it won't be worthless.

andy's second issue is mainly the realization that she can die. andy is my high combat skill detective. the short version of this story is that, when she was in university and starting to dress more masculinely and come into her own identity, she stopped some drunk guys at a bar from harassing some friends she was out with (very get-in-their-face, intimidate-them-into-backing-down). in that moment she realized that she had the power to protect people, to make a meaningful difference for them. that she could put herself between innocent people and the things that want to hurt them and that she could protect them.

this became a big part of her identity, and for years this worked without a problem. she became overconfident. when the agency asked to run the blood tests, she declined: not because she distrusts the agency (though she doesn't really trust them), but because she was confident enough in her own abilities to handle the situation that she didn't think she needed the extra help.

then murphy got her.

now she's incredibly traumatized by the experience with murphy, and is scared in a way she hasn't ever really felt because of her blood, and because the trackers are hunting her. for the first time, she's prey and not predator. and she doesn't know how to cope with it. she doesn't know how to cope with the trauma itself, and she doesn't know how to cope with the fact that she is traumatized when she thought herself invincible. because, as she's learned so many times since the beginning of the series, she isn't invincible.

and none of them got therapy (mostly because none of them recognize that they need it)!

[chloesimaginationthings]

These clown animatronics in FNAF wild as hell..

[pigswithwings]

to care for you i must take you apart

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[zephyrchama]

(obey me!) moments where they fall in love with you all over again

---01

It’s dinner, and you’re talking about mundane things that happened during your day. You saw a cool bird, got some gum stuck on your shoe, and bought a new flavor of toothpaste to try. Everyone is listening intently. If only they would pay this much attention in class.

Lucifer knows the way his brothers look at you all too well. It’s a look full of respect, admiration, and fondness. It’s a look that’s often reflected on his own face when in your presence. At first he never really understood why you put up with his siblings, as the option to ignore them and be on your way was always there. Yet you continue to make time for them anyway. How unusual.

Moments like these where everyone is together and you don’t treat them as the Seven Rulers of Hell, you just treat them as your dear friends and family. That’s what makes Lucifer soft. He tries to imagine a long future of things staying just like this.

---02

Mammon’s hesitant to lend anybody money, even you. It takes a few minutes to butter him up and fluff his ego before he relents. At last, he hands you the crispest bill in his wallet. “Don’t spend it all in one place,” he kids, knowing full well he’d do just that if he was in your shoes.

He’s curious what you plan to buy. It never dawns on him that you have no intention of spending the cash. Half an hour later, he finds it on his desk. The exact same bill, now creased and folded neatly into an origami bird.

He picks it up to wiggle the little paper wings, entranced, then looks around frantically and catches your eye. A playful smile graces your face and tugs at his heartstrings.

---03

Leviathan is not typically one to make mistakes when it comes to anime. But even he’s not perfect.

He had it set in his mind that the new show premiered at 6:00pm, which left plenty of time to prepare the ultimate solo viewing party after school. He was humming quietly to himself when you walked over. “Isn’t your show starting soon?”

You specifically took an interest in his hobbies. You remembered that it started at 16:00 (four o’clock), not 6:00. Leviathan wondered, how could he make such a egregious mistake? You were the one who dashed back to the House of Lamentation at full speed by his side. When your human stamina started failing, he unconsciously picked you up so you’d both make it in time. You made it with two minutes to spare.

Sweaty and out of breath, still in uniform, you were able to watch the premiere together. It wasn’t until after credits rolled, you went elsewhere, and the live reactions on social media started calming down that Levi realized what a big deal this was to him. What a big deal you were to him.

---04

Satan wasn’t expecting you to be spacing out in his favorite armchair. He had plans to read in it that evening, and considered asking you politely to move. But the way the lamp light shines on your skin, the thoughtful expression on your face while pondering ideas unknown. The way your lips part ever so slightly and your eyes gaze off into nothing. It captivates him. You look like a painting. His breath gets caught in his throat, and in clearing it he manages to break your trance.

“Oh, hey. Welcome home, I didn’t realize you were there.”

You go to get out of the chair, but Satan insists you stay. It doesn’t look right without you anymore. He doesn’t feel right without you anymore.

---05

Asmodeus does not have wardrobe malfunctions often. His outfits are of the highest quality and a lot of care goes into putting them on. Still, things happen.

When his fans rush forward out of nowhere, sometimes they are successful in tearing his clothes. A fistful of shirt here, a mouthful of pants-leg there. Being in the center of a lust-fueled stampede can make even the most collected people lose their minds, but you are steadfast. You shout at the rabid demons, shaming them for their disrespect. You believe you can chase them off all on your own, not knowing that the Avatar of Lust behind you is exuding a killer aura and warning his fans to back off with a powerful glare.

As you sloppily stitch up what remains of his shirt so he can walk home without the incident repeating, Asmodeus is smiling from ear to ear. You’re so focused on genuinely helping that you don’t even notice the bedroom eyes he’s flashing. The scene of you waving your arms and trying to chase off a pack of demons as if they were stray pigeons is permanently ingrained in his memory. Just as your existence is ingrained in his soul.

---06

Beelzebub knows what he likes. He knows what will catch his interest and is pleasantly surprised when a new one crops up.

One thing he likes is you. Another is food. Both are in the cafeteria. He piles a tray high with carbs and goes looking for you at lunch time, finding you seated in the middle of a long table at the edge of the room. He calls your name.

It’s unexpected, the way you quickly swing your head up mid-bite. Your cheeks are full and noodles dangle from your mouth, sauce dripping back onto your plate. Your eyes light up as you look at him from below. It makes him stop in his tracks, causing several shorter demons to walk into him. Such a simple action, yet so profound. You hurriedly chew and offer him a seat while Beelzebub powers through his emotions. He takes a seat across from you to offer a napkin, wondering when he’ll see that face again.

---07

It’s late, far past everyone’s bedtime. Yet Belphegor forgot to tell you something during the day and decided now would be a great time. When you don’t respond to the quiet knocks at your door, he lets himself inside. Your sleeping figure looks too comforting to resist and he gets the brilliant idea to crawl into bed with you to whisper in your ear.

The problem is, as soon as he lifts the covers, you fart. It’s loud. You don’t move an inch, remaining fast asleep and ignorant of what just happened.

Belphegor freezes in his tracks to process it, but is soon doubled over on the futon laughing. The vibrations wake you. You sleepily open your eyes to see who is in hysterics and ask the obvious: “what?”

Belphegor is laughing too hard to tell you. He doesn’t want to tell you. It’s too priceless. You groggily smack him with a spare pillow and it makes him laugh harder. While he loves to look at you, that week it becomes difficult for him to meet your eyes without erupting into a fit of giggles.

[cosmosnout]

Girliesss

[ozuzo]

🎮 Multitasking 🎮 (my part of an art trade with @hivepixels 🖤)

[cametotheshowinsd]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT | TAYLOR SWIFT

A debrief, a detailed rewinding For the purpose of warning For the sake of reminding As you might all unfortunately recall I had been struck with a case of a restricted humanity Which explains my plea here today of temporary insanity

[redysetdare]

I don't think a lot of people realize that lot of their advice to disabled people often boils down to "Get over it." they are trying to be helpful but their idea of helpful is "Just do the thing" because that's what they do. for them they just do things. It comes naturally to just do it.

They don't know how to bridge the gap between you and the task. For them the bridge is already pre-built and stable. For disabled people the bridge is run down, not well kept, it feels unsteady and is hard to get across without being slow and cautious - hell for some people there is no bridge and we need to build it ourselves but we don't have the bridge building tools and no one gives them to us.

"Just cross the bridge." They say before walking over their pre-built bridge. They never gave you the tools to build a bridge to cross.

[lightbulb-warning]

today i offer you prompts 11-20 for isat month!! ignore your calendar THANKYUUUU <3

[saturngalore]

afrofuturism🪐

☆ one ~ solange hair by darknightt (tsr warning) ☆ two ~ loretta hair by @simtric ☆ three ~ bahati braids by @sheabuttyr ☆ four ~ isonoe hair by octetsica ☆ five ~ binah braids by @sheabuttyr ☆ six ~ cornrows & curls hair by @leeleesims1 ☆ seven ~ indie hair by @sashima ☆ eight ~ loc petals by @shespeakssimlish ☆ nine ~ mnemosyne hair by octetsica ☆

mini dedication essay to black simmers and ts4 creators below! pls read if you have the chance! <3

this edit is a small homage to afrofuturism and the various unique black hairstyles (and especially the black creators of most of these hairs) that i have downloaded and admired over the years! some of these are old and some of these are new.

to me, afrofuturism means constantly honoring/reclaiming/challenging the past while constantly creating/dreaming of a better society/world/future. a society/world/future that embraces and empowers all of our differences, ingenuity, aspirations, and unique lived/cultural experiences. a society/world/future that does not limit us through the various systems of marginalization and oppression (racism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, classism, colorism, etc.) that often affects how we, as black people, live today.

blackness is so diverse and intricate yet it's always been a struggle to find my culture within a game that's known for being so limiting, bland, and extremely eurocentric when it comes to hairstyles, clothing, food traditions/events, etc. black simmers have always had to figure out how to make this game more inclusive and make it resemble either more like how our ancestors lived, how our current lives are, or how we would want our lives (and even our children's lives) to look like in the future no matter how dystopian the real world look and feel now. fortunately, these hairs and their uniqueness bring a huge sense of culture and style to this game. they have always inspired me and made me feel extremely proud to a part of the lovely african diaspora (and the ever-growing black simmer community).

in a way, being a black simmer and cc creator usually means that we are often digitally creating our own worlds as afrofuturists to varying degrees (whether we know it or not) every time we open our game, make our sims, make houses, and/or make black cultural cc. also, now i know that cc making is not easy to do and is extremely time-consuming so this post is also just me giving all black cc creators especially those who create for free their well-deserved flowers! here are some other black cc creators who created cc that have greatly impacted my game since i first started playing sims 4: @/leeleesims1 @/simtric @/hi-land @/yuyulie @/sims4bradshaw @/ebonixsims @/xmiramira @/sheabuttyr @/qwertysims @/oplerims @/sleepingsims @/shespeakssimlish and so many more im forgetting probably (im too shy rn to tag ppl but i greatly appreciate y’all fr i hope y’all telepathically get this message somehow 😭).

last but not least, i am hoping that this inspires somebody to keep creating or start creating regardless of what they think their skill level is! somebody will absolutely fall in love with your work and/or your art/work will 100% change someone's game forever <333

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

[blackkatdraws2]

This little NPC is lost. The Narrator [Black] has come to guide her back to where she needs to be. [Blank Scripts AU]

I imagine Black would be a lot more tolerant toward his NPCs since they're basically just the Dungeons spawns, and by extension, his own creations.

[If you're familiar with manhwas / manhuas that features the dungeon / system genre, you'd be able to understand this AU a lot easier. The majority of my inspiration for worldbuilding came from those specific genres.]

[NOTE: 'Dungeon' is just another term for the Parable. Technically, Black owns a Dungeon and the Parable is just a small part of it. The Dungeon itself is much, much larger.]

For context, the comic below references this post about the Dungeon's children/guard dogs.

[They're more like the immune system since all they do is make sure the (body) is safe.]

[The reason the Narrator [Black] considers them his children is that the Dungeon is feeding off his energy and in turn shares the 'nutrients' to the monsters it produces, which transforms them into an image that resembles his power.]

And the old man below is Joseph!

Joseph is NOT AN NPC! He is a person who exists outside of the Dungeon!

[There are two separate 'worlds' for this AU. Inside the Dungeon (where most of the game-like stuff is happening) and the world outside (pretty much their normal world.)]

[There is a secret third world, and that's our world. Our reality.]

These characters are not actually important or anything, I just made them to make the AU feel more lively. To make a world that exists, you know?

When the Narrator [Black] first established himself in their world, he found a growing problem with homelessness. Not understanding human norms or why this has become a problem in the first place, he offers (tricks) them into working for him as janitors for the Dungeon and they accept for the money.

Most of them left after they got paid, but Joseph was one of the people who stayed. He doesn't have anywhere else to go and has no ambitions in life. He just wishes to live a peaceful life with food and a roof over his head.

Joseph defaults to referring to the Narrator [Black] with feminine terms due to his appearance despite his voice. The Narrator [Black] is not the type to care for such terms anyway so he doesn't care how other people refer to him as long as there's respect.

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This post focuses more on the worldbuilding and background aspects of the AU! There are a lot more in store for the Blank Scripts AU, and I want to explore more on how the characters might interact with their surroundings and how this would work to make a world that makes sense.

It would be so cool if people made self-inserts or OCs for my AU actually. I'd love to see how you guys would work with my stuff. Play around with it like a barbie world for your little barbie dolls. Be canon compliant, be canon divergent, who cares, have fun.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[allmightluver]

@hhbluedynamite I’m going to make separate post here to address this. Tumblr mobile is a pain and I can’t add all picture examples I want to it here goes.

This has been a debate ever since My Hero came out,

“Why are All Mights eyes black?”

There’s been multiple explanations from how his borrowed quirk works to simply his own emaciated state. I’ve come up with my own theory. It’s said the eyes are the windows to the soul. I believe All Might’s eyes grow darker the more “weight” he carries.

For example,

When All Might was a kid, his eyes were normal. White. After losing his family, rendering him an orphan, white. Even after losing Nana, still he looked normal.

And after first releasing to the public.

This is because although he’d already been thru hell and back emotionally, he’s still normal. Even with his quirk.

Then, after he’d been in the game a while, they suddenly darkened.

Why?

Because by that time, the full gravity of his position, his responsibility and the realization he was essentially alone in that place, had fully sunk in.

Because he was so over powered above everyone else, everyone including the heroes left him to take care of almost everything they felt was too hard. And because he’s a selfless person at heart without a care to his own safety, he willingly allowed it to happen without asking for help. He didn’t want to risk losing anyone else. Which is also why he didn’t take on any sidekicks.

Until Nighteye.

Vigilantes showed us Toshinori when he wasn’t being All Might. And his eyes turn back into white in his more relaxed form, albeit with tired lines beneath them. However this is when he had Nighteye to count on. And Nighteye can see the future, so perhaps he would be safe, right? Well we know what happened there.

After he and Nighteye break up go their separate ways, we never see Toshinori with white eyes again. (Unless I’m forgetting so please tell me if I am). Now he’s injured, only a handful of people to trust, and none can truly understand what he’s going through. At this time he truly is alone, and the one thing that gives him joy is slowly but surely being fizzled out within him.

All Might’s eyes continued to remain black for years. Even after giving his quirk to Izuku. He still felt the weight of the world on his shoulders because he feared for Izuku’s safety. Blamed himself for every scar and Injury the boy suffered thru. Even though he was retired, nothing had changed. In fact it was worse now, because he could do nothing to help anymore.

And then he gains support items to face AFO for the last time. He’s a distraction, a willing sacrifice to slow the monster down, and he couldn’t be happier. We see the whites of his for the first time. All through the fight we see them, shaded albeit, but they’re there.

When he speaks to Nighteye asking if this isn’t the place he was meant to die, Nighteye confirms that it is. The fact that he’s still alive makes him raise the question, why is he still here then? I’m the mentor, Izuku is a ready and worthy apprentice. He doesn’t need me anymore. I’m supposed to be dead by now. His eyes seem darker here, as if the weight and his own depression have increased again. Perhaps begrudgingly accepting his fate.

But then here after Nighteye tells him he reads too many comic books, and that there’s no way he would go out that way, we get a closer look. Although his eyes are still shrouded in black because of his emaciated state. His eyes themselves are clearer, brighter. Even if Nighteye is only in his head, his words are still bringing him hope deep down.

While being tended to medically, his eyes are dark again, though I believe this is mainly due to him barely being alive and conscious at this point. And they’re still white, more than we’re used to seeing.

Finally after the war while they’re recovering, his eyes remain white, though they’re still shaded. The weight is still present. His work isn’t done yet. Izuku is losing his quirk, and he still feels like a failure in some sense because of that. Also because he and Bakugo almost died. And because of everyone who did die in the war all because he failed to stop AFO after three tries.

People who weren’t qualified to be heroes were even involved in this battle. And he thinks it unfair to hold such high standards when there are people who can still help, even if not at the extreme levels of the top heroes. He and Deku are proof of that!

In the last chapter several years later, we finally see Old Man Might! And his eyes-they’re so bright. ❤️

Of course they’ll always have a little shadow to them because of his sunken in appearance, but the tired lines under his eyes are gone. There’s not the black bags from pushing himself too hard, just the normal wrinkles that come with age.

This is Toshinori that’s been missing for decades. The man whose impossible weight has finally been lifted off his shoulders. He knows he can finally relax, he doesn’t have to be on alert or on call anymore. The world is safe without him.

He even found a way for Izuku to keep up his hero work with a suit similar to his own during the war (though most definitely suped up).

Finally, he can be at peace. His body, soul, and mind can finally begin to heal. He can work through all of the trauma he’s been stuffing down all of his life.

Finally, he can live.

[magicshop]

his smile could cure the world ♡ [for @morshiberna ♡]

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