#i really seriously doubt that’ll happen

[stingyslegslookweird]

gonna work on an update for Limitless Evolution (my Agito font), but i want to ask:

people who have downloaded/used the font: are there any problems, complaints, etc. you have with it so far?

i know the upper and lowercase M and N are barely and not at all differently sized, respectively (which is the main issue i’m planning to fix), and there aren’t any parentheses or brackets, but if there’s anything i’ve missed or that you think should be added, i’m more than willing to hear you out, at least.

[myjealouseyes]

Request from an anon: ravenclaw reader x Harry where she meets James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, etc for the first time when coming over for a holiday dinner or something?

A/N — hello Nonnie! This actually cuts off right before they meet so if you want a part two with them actually meeting just request and I’ll be happy to write it for you <33

Request Drabble here.

Part two

“You’re sure the house apparel is okay?”

The words tumble out your mouth as you smooth out your blue sweater for the fifth time over the ten minute walk back to Harry’s Parent’s house. You thought meeting his family after your date instead of before would ease some of your nerves, but the opposite had occurred. Dinner had giving you more time to ponder over all the things that could go wrong.

While you don’t doubt that his family is just as amazing as he is, meeting them is working you up a little. For some reason, meeting them just feels so official. Not that you aren’t sure about Harry. You plan to cling to his side until he’ll no longer have you. (Which you hope is a day that’ll never come.) It just sends a kaleidoscope of fast-fluttering butterflies to your stomach to know things were getting serious. That he was serious about you.

“I’ve told you, it’s fine.” He squeezes your hand And kisses the side of it. The affection is almost enough to make you drop the anxiousness completely. “They won’t pay much attention to your sweater. And even if they do, you look great. Better than that. You look perfect.” His words bring a warm flush to your cheeks as you nibble on your lip, now with something akin to bashfulness.

“I just want this to go—“

“—perfectly, I know.”

His smile is calm and kind, like you’re being completely reasonable and not freaking out over nothing. “If I’m honest, I don’t see how it could go any other way. You’re perfect, so everything you do is just as. By extension.” A sheepish giggle bubbles from your throat as you squeeze his hand. “Science?” You tease as your shoulders start to relax “Hardly. Everything you do is magic,” he stops walking to give you a little smirk. “Literally.” You reward him with another, louder and more boisterous, laugh. (Next time he wants to go for full belly.)

As you approach his house, you look at him one more time for reassurence. He presses his lips to your cheek. “They’ll love you. Seriously, what’s not to like?” He kisses your other cheek. “And even if they don’t—which won’t happen—they’ll have to warm up to you because I really, really like you. More than that. I love you.” Your eyes widen like saucers, but he chooses is to ignore it for now. “So this’ll be fine, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for your answer as he pushes the door open, dragging you through the door.

[somethinginthewayiam]

Dress-up

pairing: Chibs Telford x plus-size reader

words: 2477

warnings: there is 18+ content throughout (minors DNI), use of alcohol, body insecurities and self-doubt

Summary: another party at the clubhouse but a brand new outfit with the help of Lyla. Hopefully you will get Chibs’ attention...

link to my masterlist and previous parts

a/n: this is the dress Y/N is wearing. The model is no indication for reader, it’s only about the dress.

It was your first time back at the clubhouse since your late night at the warehouse with Chibs. You had seen him at the warehouse a couple of times, always being flirty, chatting a bit, you’ve gotten quite friendly with him. A bit too friend-like for your taste, though.

You had asked Lyla for help to dress more clubhouse appropriate and to gain Chibs’ attention. It didn’t take her long to catch on to your little thing for him and you needed someone to finally talk to about that night. You had never done anything like it in your life.

“I like the two of you together, I could see this happening”, she said as she looked through the clothing rack at the warehouse. “There is nothing happening, Lyla. We just had sex, once”, you clarified, sitting in her make-up chair, applying some eyeliner.

“But you want it to happen again”, that wasn’t a question. “Of course, I do, it was fucking awesome. And not just because I was a bit drunk”, you said and got working on your other eye.

“Okay, I gotta ask. How big is he?”, Lyla asked you and turned around from the clothing rack. You looked at her through the mirror of the dressing table. “You’re not seriously gonna think that I’ll answer that?”, you asked and raised an eyebrow at her.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll just move my hands and you say stop”, she suggested and started by putting her hands together. She slowly moved her hands away from each other. You chuckled and got back to work on your eye make-up while she kept moving her hands away from each other. “Oh, my, Y/N. I’m glad you are still able to walk”, she joked and got back to finding you an outfit.

“I really appreciate the help, Lyla, but I don’t think you’ll find anything here that’ll fit me”, you said and put finishing touches on your lips with some red lipstick.

“No, I know there is something for you. We used it in a shoot once”, she said and kept looking through the clothes. You put the lipstick down and turned around. You were only wearing your black, lacy panties and a strapless bra which wasn’t doing much without the straps but you felt better wearing it, all hid under a silky robe.

“You want me to wear porn clothes?”, you asked in disbelief. “It’s just a dress used in a porn photoshoot, no need to freak out about it”, Lyla rolled her eyes at you. For working at a porn productions office and witnessing the making of porn pretty much every day, you could still be a little presumptuous about it. “Sorry”, you said sheepishly.

“Ha! Found it”, she said and pulled out a black faux-leather dress. “You would have to cover my whole body in Vaseline to get me in there”, you said as you saw the thing in Lyla’s hands. “I bet Chibs would like to help you with that”, she joked with a wink and handed you the dress.

“It got cotton lining, you’ll slip just in. And more importantly, slip out just as easily”, she said and wiggled her eyebrows at you.

Since it was only Lyla and you at the warehouse, you just untied your robe and let it slip off your shoulders. You opened the zipper on the back and stepped in. You pulled the dress up, struggling a bit at the hips and slipped your arms into the mini-sleeves. The skirt ended only halfway down your thighs and since it was a wavy, loosely fitted skirt, it revealed even more when you were walking.

It hugged your waist nicely and showed off your hourglass figure. Your shoulders were bare and the broad straps ran around your upper arms, working as little sleeves.

“Could you zip me up?”, you asked Lyla for help. You sucked your belly in as she pulled the zipper up in one pull. It was a bit tight around your boobs as was almost everything you had ever worn. You pushed them into place and smoothed out the fabric.

“Fuck, I’m good. You look amazing, Y/N”, Lyla called out when she looked you up and down. You turned around to the body length mirror and took a look at yourself.

You looked different, that’s for sure. And for a second you also thought that you looked kinda hot, but then your eyes wandered over every region you deemed problematic about your body and the good feeling washed away just as quickly.

“I feel like it’s Halloween and I’m playing dress-up”, you said and pulled at the skirt of your dress to make it longer. “Nonsense. Here, put these shoes on and let’s go”, she said and handed you some black wedges with straps across your insteps and ankles.

With a deep sigh, you complied and put the shoes on. You took a look in the mirror once more and fluffed up your long, wavy hair before Lyla led you out to her car to drive over to the clubhouse.

 You were beyond nervous when you drove onto the lot. What Chibs would think of your outfit was the least of your worries right now as you were more terrified of how people would stare and make fun of you. At least, that’s what you were convinced would happen.

“Ready?”, Lyla asked when she had parked her car. “No”, you answered truthfully. “Alright, then let’s go”, she patted your thigh and got out of her car.

You took another deep breath and got out as well. You immediately pulled at your skirt again before you followed Lyla over to the clubhouse entrance. A few people were sitting outside on the benches, drinking, chatting and laughing together. You didn’t see any familiar faces but Lyla greeted a few people as you were walking by. Some turned their heads to see who had arrived but nobody said anything to you.

“We definitely have to get a few drinks into you to ease you up”, Lyla said when she saw the frozen smile on your face and the beads of anxious sweat on your forehead. She walked straight over to the bar where Chucky was handing out drinks. You took a look around the house and didn’t see any of the usual Sons hanging around.

“Chucky, where are Jax and the others?”, Lyla asked before you could. “They’re having a meeting in the chapel. They’re already in there for a while”, he answered.

“Hey, Chucky, I can take over if you want”, you suggested, but it was more like a request. Behind the bar was kind of a safe space for you. It was a surrounding you knew, it gave you a little bit of authority and for today, it was ideal to hide all the parts of your body your dress didn’t.

“You’re not supposed to work tonight, you’re supposed to have fun”, Lyla said as she sat down on one of the bar stools. “I’m having fun doing this. If Chucky will have me as his co-bartender tonight, of course”, you turned to him. “I accept that”, he nodded a bit eagerly and made you laugh.

“May I say, the delight of your appearance warms my heart”, he added out of nowhere. “That is very nice of you, Chucky, thank you”, you said and squeezed his arm. He blushed a little bit and looked away. “I’ll get new beer from the storage”, he said and rushed off to the room behind the bar. You continued filling the cooler and handing out your first beers and drinks of the night.

You noticed that a few of the liquor bottles were almost empty. You crouched down to look in the cabinets under the bar if you would find any new bottles before you had to ask Chucky to check the back.

From down there, you could hear how the doors of the chapel opened and the Sons came strutting out. The noise in the clubhouse immediately increased with chatter and the music even turned up.

You suddenly got up and scared Bobby, who was sitting right across from you. Nobody had seen you back there yet.

“Hey, boss”, you said and could see Bobby almost falling off his seat. “Good gracious, doll. Where do you come from?”, Bobby called out. You had to hold back a laugh as you pushed a fresh bottle of beer over to him as an apology. “I’m helping Chucky behind the bar. We’re a good team”, you said and put an arm around his shoulders. In your high heels, you were the same height as him. The other guys were all standing around the bar, waiting for their drinks.

“She’s hiding behind the bar instead of showing off her new outfit”, Lyla chimed in. “No, stop it, Lyla. I’m not hiding”, you waved it off. “Then come around that counter and show the guys what you’re working with today”, she said as she came around the counter and pushed you out from behind it.

You really didn’t want to do it, but you sucked it up, put on a big smile and walked out like you had an ounce of confidence in your body.

“So, what do you say, boys? Am I earning some tips tonight?”, you joked and paraded around in your high heels. “Look at that ba-ba-booty on that one”, Tig said and made grabbing motions at your ass. “You look hot”, Juice confirmed with a wide grin. “The tips will come flying in tonight”, Jax commented with a smile and grabbed a beer off the counter that Chucky had put there.

“Look, you even made Happy happy”, Tig pointed at Happy at the other end of the bar who looked at you with a normal smile. At least normal for other people. For Happy, that was a wide grin.

“Thanks, Happy. That smile means a lot to me”, you walked over and put your arm around his shoulders, squeezing into his side and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Oops, sorry”, you giggled as you saw the stains of red lipstick on his skin and wiped it off with your thumb. These guys made it easy to flirt and joke around.

“Alright, cut it out now, you’re already drinking for free. You can turn the charms off now”, you told them, feeling a little overwhelmed by their compliments. The tiny voice in the back of your head trying to convince you that they just wanted to be nice and that Lyla pretty much begged them to say those compliments.

“I can’t turn that off, I was born with it, baby”, Tig said with a smug tone as he came over to you, put his hands on your hips and pressed a light kiss to your cheek. You liked Tig but that made you feel kind of weird. “Alright, big guy, I got it”, you patted his chest and walked around him and back behind the bar.

From that point of view, you watched Chibs grabbing a bottle of beer from the counter as well, throwing you an indecisive look and walking over to the wall across the bar, getting into a conversation with two guys sitting there.

You got back to preparing drinks, trying not to feel discouraged that he seemingly had nothing to say about your appearance since you were doing this all for him. You put on your brightest smile and kept on chatting with Lyla and some people at the bar.

 Chibs might have been across the room from you but he kept an eye on you the whole time.

 A little while later, you noticed that his bottle was empty, so you poured him a Jameson and asked Chucky to take over the bar again.

“Here you go”, you said and put the drink in his hand. “Thanks, darlin’”, he said and took a sip. You had downed a shot of Whiskey before you came over here to work up some courage.

“Can I ask you for something?”, you began. With a nod of his chin, he told you to continue. “Can you tell me I look good and not as weird as I feel?”, you whined to Chibs and pulled a face.

You pulled at the hem of your skirt again, trying to magically make it longer than it was. “I still feel like I’m playing dress-up”, you huffed.

“Don’t you gals have each other for that?”, he asked back with a raised eyebrow and took a sip of his drink.

“Lyla said I look good but I think she just wants to be nice”, you waved it off and shrugged your shoulders. “And the comments from the guys are not enough?”, he asked further. “They were also nice, but I haven’t heard anything from you”, you explained and made a pause for him to hand out his compliment but he just looked at you. You rolled your eyes and sighed out loud.

“I’m also asking you ‘cause you’re honest, you don’t give a shite about being nice”, you added with a smirk as you imitated his accent.

Chibs cocked his head to the side, scanning your face as if he was contemplating if he would answer you or not.

Then he leaned down to your ear and said, “You look fuckin’ gorgeous, lass. And if I wasn’t such a gentleman, I’d take ya right fuckin’ there on the pool table.” He leaned back up and against the wall behind him.

His words made you swallow hard but it was exactly the kind of validation you were hoping to get from him tonight. You looked up at Chibs with big eyes, seemingly shocked by his comment.

“Since when are you a gentleman?”, you asked and a smirk appeared in the corner of your lips.

“Aye, ya right”, he answered. He slammed his glass on a surface near him and the next second, his lips were on yours.

Your hands gripped his kutte in an automatic reaction and pressed your body against his. One of his arms snaked around you and held you in place, making sure you’re not pulling away too soon.

You felt him pushing a leg between yours and your hips involuntarily started grinding into him, your mind seemingly completely blocking out that you were at a party at the clubhouse, surrounded by people.

He pushed you back with his body and for a moment you were worried that he would actually follow through on his comment, but then he turned you around by your shoulders and put an arm around them.

“Have you ever seen the rest of the clubhouse?”, he said in a voice louder than necessary, making sure that nobody came looking for him in the next 40 minutes or so.

next part Dress down

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Booky, you’re such a sweet person. I know it’s probably hard for you to be a fan and see stuff that annoys you, but remember that it’s probably happening to other fans with celebs they like.

Those poor Henry Cavill fans - though I don’t even think his gf is that bad. Lol.

And as for the Jeff Conway person…

lol. First of all he’s very very cringe. I’ve rarely seen an interviewer editor be this thirsty to repost his own articles and also be so unbelievably tacky as a grown man. But hey.

That being said, he was the one who wrote the Forbes article for Chris and his jinx thing at the end of December, right?

He was also one of the writers who wrote a people article of them going public. Somebody should check back those archives because I’m almost positive Jeff started following fish the night before or around the time they went public.

He also interviewed Chris the day Chris said his long term partner was his dog 🤣 - I wonder if he told Chris that 😭 and gave him a very cringey shirt “my dog is my soulmate.” A grown ass man.. giving another grown ass man a shirt like that. And then repeatedly bragging about it on twitter. How is he not embarrassed by himself?? (Jeff)

My personal thought is he goes where he has an assignment. I sometimes have to write really cringe social posts for work but thankfully they’re not attached to my name. He was probably instructed to hype her up because tbh, I still believe they’re trying to make her happen.

Think about how the kardashians, TikTok influencers, and other random ass “Celebs” pop up and start being placed everywhere and nobody is asking for them and the comments are filled with hate. But do these outlets ever stop? Really think about it. Step back from the fishbowl and observe the other industry ppl who have basically been shoved into our faces without our desire. I think the media knows Fish is DOA but she’s here and unfortunately here to stay for awhile. I think people can and will continue to ignore her so that’ll be pretty funny to watch.

I’m also sure fish wasn’t rude to Jeff because I doubt she’s like openly a rude person. I’m not trying to defend her because I know people on here will feel how they feel about this girl, but she’s not going to be a brat to everyone just because people want to hate her. I do think it’s interesting that post had Jeff hyping her up and then just mentioning Chris was also there. As if he’s her plus one and not the other way around.

I feel like she’s getting way too much attention for being virtually nothing and a nobody. The general public simply does not care about her.

I think someone just posted up TMZ posting celebs at the parties and they posted Chris alone and cropped her out. If true, LOLLLLLL TMZ 😂

Just Jared has written at least 600 articles at this point and they’re still getting her name wrong.

By the way, in my line of work, we have to proofread our articles before submitting them to post. So does every single outlet just accidentally miss fish’s last name?????

I’m starting to feel like it’s intentional.

🥹 Thank you, Marketing An🫶n!

It must suck for everyone, but it's good to know that what I'm feeling is definitely not just me. Makes me feel less crazy. 🙂

Good Lord, Jeff seems to be overselling and overdoing it, a little. But, as you said, it's a thing that needs to be done.

And you've got a point about celebs we DIDN'T ask for, just popping up. And it causes quite a stir. Which is effective for their reasons.

No, they do not. Hell, she's simply known as Chris Evans' wife. No more, no less. Imagine that as your only title. It's sad.

I hope it's intentional, because that's too many typos, and almost (I'm assuming they did this at least once) zero edits... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thanks for talking with me, Marketing An🫶n. It's really a highlight everytime you're here. So thank you ❤️ and it seriously means a whole lot. 🥰🥹

Until the next one...

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Now for a long, disorganized ramble about Scary and Lark, feat. Sparrow and Normal

I really wanted to talk about this in way that was more logically organized, but after today’s episode (25) I *need* to talk about Scary and Lark. I’m certainly not breaking new ground in stating that there are parallels between the two of them, but still it’s just-

It’s just- they’re so similar. It’s the way Scary is so unnecessarily cruel in a way that feels so reminiscent of how Lark was with Henry post-rogue in season 1. Scary doesn’t know why she feels how she feels, so she tries to justify it, tries to find explanations for her feelings at every chance she can get. Surely Lark would have had things to work out with Henry either way but, the rogue card no doubt worsened and solidified things on that front and, at the risk of straying a bit farther into speculation, I have to imagine he was very confused by these feelings. He suddenly hates his father so much, and knows nothing of the rogue card’s effect on him, so it’s only natural that he’d try to make sense of these feelings. Then Walter gets seriously injured, and Lark can mostly tie his anger to that for a while (I do think Lark was genuinely very upset by what happened to Walter, but the degree to which he blames Henry for it is irrational, and deep down I think Lark understands this too, but I digress). Walter didn’t have to get hurt for Lark to become so deeply resentful of Henry, that just gave Lark a false pretense for where those feelings came from (as for the reasons I think Lark actually resents Henry- that’ll be for another post another time).

So Scary and Lark are both confused by their own feelings and internally try to justify them. They lash out, they lie, they’re cruel, and they push everyone away. They confuse their coldness with strength, or “doing what has to be done” (a bit more on this later). Their behavior distances them from the rest of the group, either of their own volition, or as punishment (like in the end of today’s ep.).

Enter Willy, who correctly identifies the weakest link twice in a row. Willy, who knows he can use Lark and Scary’s isolation and resentment to his advantage, and does so without them realizing they’re being manipulated. Lark stabs Henry. Scary doesn’t stab Tony, but she might as well have. Willy has successfully led them to the tipping point, people get hurt, and everything is worse now.

Enter Sparrow and Normal. I see the world through Oak-tinted glasses, so yes we have to talk about them. I really wanted to talk about this after episode 24, so I’m scolding myself for only getting to it now, but I’ve become increasingly convinced that Scary and Normal’s relationship parallels Lark and Sparrow’s. Honestly, I think the whole exploration of that is still gonna have to be a separate post, but let’s talk about Sparrow for a bit, shall we?

For starters, I think it’s fairly easy to understand even without specific examples on hand that Sparrow tries desperately to stay by Lark’s side, largely at his own expense. Lark literally slept with his wife and that wasn’t enough for Sparrow to cut him out (or at least distance himself). In ep. 24 Lark is particularly abrasive with his brother, who seems to be so used to putting up with it at this point that he’s completely unfazed by it. I think Sparrow is no doubt angry with Lark, his performance in ep. 23 makes this pretty clear (even if there’s still so much left up to speculation from that scene). But I also think Sparrow still cares deeply for his brother, feels responsible for Lark to some degree, and will enable him so long as it means being able to keep Lark in his life and not let his brother slip any further into isolation than he already has.

And I think Sparrow deeply understands how big of a hand Willy had in his brother’s undoing. I dare say Sparrow blames Willy for Lark’s actions more than Lark blames Willy for them. So when he sees history repeating itself with Scary, he loses it. This is the most direct attempt anyone makes to stop Scary from being manipulated by Willy, and unfortunately, it is largely in vain.

Normal, on his end, bends over backwards to be empathetic with Scary, even when she really doesn’t deserve it. Normal has so much on his plate, so much to be upset about, but repeatedly ignores or understates his own feelings to validate Scary’s. Even when her cruelty is directed at him, he tries so hard to be receptive of her emotions. I’ll try to collect some concrete examples of this in a follow-up post, I think, because they really are plentiful. And like his dad with Lark, even though he means well, Normal unintentionally enables Scary every time that he does this.

So, admittedly without a very smooth segway, when Normal says they’re not going to kill the Doodler, and Lark reprimands Sparrow for being too soft with Norm, and just a bit later this exchange happens:

Lark: Yes, not trusting us. That's a very smart move. Scary, you're learning. Good job, Scary. 

Scary: Heh-heh-heh! 

Lark: You can learn something from Scary, Normal.

Scary: Yeah, you could, Normal!

It says so much, but it also just kind of makes sense. Lark and Scary both progressively learn to keep those around them at arm’s length. What’s more, they are both convinced that sometimes you really do just need to be cruel to get things done, as evidenced in Scary’s case by her decision at the end of today’s episode.

So let’s talk about that ending. As much as things went from 0 to 100 quick, I think what we got was in actuality a long time coming. Apart from Sparrow’s aforementioned outburst, any attempts to lead Scary away from Willy have been passive at best, and more akin to “do what you want but we don’t want him anywhere near us” at worst. Otherwise, there’s been a lot of tension building up between Norm and Scary, so I think that actually makes it so much more intense and perhaps even shocking when it’s Link who finally puts his foot down and kicks Scary out of the group. But with everything discussed up until now, I would say that this actually makes a lot of sense! Link is much more capable than Norm of setting boundaries (see his interactions with Grant), and even with what happened today I just don’t know if Norm would have had it in him to do that to Scary.

So where do we go from here? Hell if I know! I for one have not given up on Scary (or Lark for that matter), and I feel in my heart that Normal won’t either, but that remains to be seen. I’m so curious about how all the teens are gonna be in the next episode, and what will become of the dynamic from here on out. Who will blame Scary, who will blame Willy, and who will blame them both? How is Scary going to come back from this? Who is going to be the one to help her?*cough* Norm, I’m saying it’ll be Norm There’s just so much to think about.

Gosh I spent way too long on this- and it’s kind of a mess, but hopefully it makes at least a bit of sense!

[terrahlee-cup]

The finale of the ‘holy shit she has a lot to say about this one fic’ series before I return to my regularly scheduled random bullshit. Enjoy lol @raphaelesbian

Chapter 11

*sees author’s note, immediate fear*

Him thinking they look like they should be scared of him hurts me. The baby is not doing too hot tonight huh? Let them like youuuu 🥹

OUTFIT TIME YES! “We need to match if we’re going to be a team!” I KNOW I KEEP SAYING THIS BUT THEY’RE ADORABLE. 

“He’d gone past that feeling, to the frayed mess that he was now. He… didn’t want her to feel like this.” Buddy you shouldn’t feel like that either??? This child is so sweet with other people when he needs to be but never himself ow ouch.

These two are so excited to dress him up and I am excited to read it.

“Well, I love being difficult. Ask Leo.” And the self-deprecation is back. Ohp.

Love these two being legitimately concerned for him when they find out his family doesn’t know what he’s been doing. As much as everything they’ve been up to has usually been dangerous it’s really good for Raph to have more friends outside of his family.

Also, the actual effort to make him feel like he’s part of their little group is incredible and amazing and adorable and-

Ohp they found a landmine— wonder if that’ll come up again later?

Damn Raph didn’t even hesitate with that one did he. Call him a crybaby and he will have his revenge lol.

Oh yeah they still don’t get the turtle noise thing yet do they? And now the alcohol is really hitting time for the sad.

He’s… not going to be as quiet as usual while drunk. This could go poorly. He is so getting in trouble it is so obvious he’s intoxicated. Multiple people are up he is DOOMED.

Yep. Yeah his dad figured it out immediately. Oh boy. AND CASEY’S THERE TOO THERE GOES HIS EXCUSE FOR BEING OUT. I am. Uncomfortable. Agh, lying to his family is not good but he DOES need to be able to get out of the lair. He’s in a bad spot as it is without being cooped up all the time.

Ah. There’s the blow-up. Yayyyy. Donnie… hun, why in the actual fuck would you think suggesting that would be a good idea after everything that’s happened?

“None of you get to decide what I do!” Annnnd there’s the main problem. Sure, Raph may have been the ‘rebellious one’ before the brain worm, but people trying to control him (even if trying to protect him) is probably way more uncomfortable for him now. He lost all control of his body for what, 3+ months? Yeah can’t expect him to not need some level of freedom right now. Anxiety-inducing as hell for his family (entirely fair), but trying to keep him in the lair is probably going to do more harm than good.

Chapter 12

Oh hey he’s dissociating almost immediately after waking up that’s good! Yay! :D

“Karai would hate him for it.” Hun I very much doubt that. She definitely knows your family would find out eventually.

“If I’m such a disappointment, why do you even care what I’m doing?” Agh stupid dumb child must hug him.

“No wonder Shredder favored robots and mind control.” Oh boy. This can only go well. The self-deprecation is getting worse too lovely! Bud your family’s just really fucking worried damn it. They don’t hate you 😫

Mikeyyyyyy <3 bean. Lol he snuck Raph his phone, nice.

Of course he got caught immediately trying to sneak out. “for a moment he wanted him to give in.” This kid is NOT OKAY. AT ALL. That is NOT GOOD.

“the desperation woven into a noose that tightened with each word that fought its way through his esophagus.” EYYYYY HE SAID THE THING. (Ow.)

“Y’know, he said the same thing.” OW. FUCK. THAT WAS HARSH BUDDY- LIKE WAKE-UP CALL YES BUT ALSO WAY TOO MUCH.

I think I summarized a lot of my thoughts about these two chapters very well here:

But in all seriousness this is very well written and I am very excited for whenever the next chapter is uploaded. Seemingly we’re in for some more angst based on… certain posts *squints*

Love the chaos trio that is Shinigami, Karai, and Raph. They are menaces and will probably give Splinter gray hairs in the very near future lol. I suppose Raph and Karai have probably given him quite a few already on their own, though. Whoopsie.

[fictionalstoryteller]

How the Main Characters of LMK Would Babysit Your Kid

Fandom: Lego Monkie Kid

Characters: MK, Mei, Sandy, Tang, & Pigsy

TW: none at all! Just wholesome fluff here ^^

Hello there new people! Yes yes, welcome to my first post on Tumblr. These are just some personal head cannons of mine, so if you have any critiques or questions please ask me about them in the comments. I also plan to do this for the side characters and antagonists of the show, so be on the lookout for that! Now let’s get this show on the road 🚗💨

MK:

With all due respect, why would you let him babysit your kid?! He’s the main protagonist! Something bad is bound to happen, no matter how good of a job he does

Ok but in all seriousness he’s probably going to take his job super seriously. So seriously, in fact, that he’ll swear off any crazy adventures for the day I doubt that’ll stop the antagonists from messing with him though

Knowing MK he’ll get slightly freaked out by the notion of letting you down

When you finally drop your kid off MK has already set aside some crayons and paper on the counter

They both do some doodling, order some noodles, and talk about how cool Monkey king is

If it’s a good day for it then MK might even take the kid to visit Monkey King! He’s got good connections man 

Mk gets distracted super easily so he definitely lost the kid at LEAST once

Overall I’d rate him a 6.8/10. He has an energetic and lovable personality, and he will definitely will give it his all. That being said he can’t focus to save his life. And he’s the main protagonist. So there’s a 50/50 chance that he’ll end up taking the kid on some wacky adventure of his on accident 

Mei:

Yes this is definitely a good idea. The hyper green skittle themed teen with parent issues will totally make a good babysitter! What? No of course I’m not being sarcastic! Whatever gave you that idea? 🤭

Mei probably volunteered for the job because she likes your kid, after all she definitely isn’t in need of any money 

You’ll have to drop your kid off at Pigsy’s Noodles since Mei wouldn’t want the kid to break anything at her parents place

She doesn’t really have a plan for the day, so they start off the babysitting session playing Monkey Mech, the arcade machine game in front of Pigsy’s noodles

Mei definitely offered to take the kid on a ride on her motorcycle. But don’t worry! I’m sure she had an extra helmet! Heh…

Ok let’s be honest, Mei gave your kid a crap ton of sugar. Like your kid is gonna need to brush their teeth at least three times before going to bed-

Luckily your kid ends up running all of the sugar out of their system before you pick them up thanks to Mei’s liveliness

No way your kids going to be bored. After all, Mei is super energetic and basically radiates cool older sister energy! But there are some negatives, especially because she does less then… responsible things at times. (Like letting a kid ride a motorcycle) she means well! She just doesn’t want to be as boring as her parents were. I’d give her a solid 6/10

Sandy:

Sandy couldn’t be happier that you chose HIM of all people to babysit your precious little angel. 

This overgrown Smurf already bought a ton of stuff for your kid to use while at his place, even though they’re only going to be there for a couple of hours

You’ll have to drop your kid off at Sandy’s houseboat for babysitting time

If your kid is allergic to cats then your out of luck, because he has 28 cats besides Mo. (and yes… this is canon…) BUT if your kid loves cats they’ll practically be in heaven. Especially since they’re all technically therapy cats, so they’re bound to be nice! Heh- Right?

This man has the best type of snacks for your kid, a mixture of salty and savory stuff! And if you want him to he can also pull out some tea for the kid. No one’s going home hungry today. No one.

If Sandy ever got distracted Mo would be there to make sure your kid wouldn’t do anything dangerous

Since Sandy’s house radiates calm energy there’s a good chance that they end up falling asleep on his couch at some point

Sandy is a literal icon. He has so many activities for them to do, like painting, yoga, and crafts. (And don’t pretend like he wouldn’t play all game they asked him to play) He also has delicious food that’s healthy, and he has cats! But for some kids that’s just not their cup of tea, hence why I’m not giving him a perfect score. After all, kids can be absolute menaces when cooped up in one place for a long period of time. Therefore I’m giving papa Smurf here an 9.5/10!

Tang:

Just to be clear Tang ain’t doing this for free. He’s either asking for some moola, sacred texts, or ramen. Tsk tsk, Tang is so greedy 😔 

Tang has so much experience dealing with MK, so he totally knows what type of stories your kid would love. Most of them are probably going to be about past legends and what-not

If he’s in a generous mood he might take your kid to see a museum! If your kid isn’t into that sort of stuff then he’ll consider some other fun activities. This could be exploring the town, visiting a library, things like that

Tang would totally take your kid out for some Pigsy’s Noodles when they got hungry, and he might even teach them a few tactics that’ll help them get some free food… (Pigsy would be LIVID)

If your kid is a bookworm Tang might share a few of his favorite books. And if he likes the kid enough he might even let them borrow the books until the next babysitting session

Tang is a simple man with simple needs, unlike most kids. He’s a bookworm who has a cool kid complex, clearly the most normal out of everyone in the gang. Because of this, your kid will be completely out of harms way! But that doesn’t change the fact that he might appear a bit boring… at least in the beginning of the babysitting session. But I have no doubt that as time goes on your kid will grow to appreciate his swindling ways and his logical thought processes! After all, MK practically idolizes him, and he’s practically just a kid in a teenagers body. That being said it’ll definitely cost you some pocket change to hire him. Anyways, Tang is getting a 7.5/10 from me!

Pigsy:

Pigsy probably has the most experience with kids out of anyone in the gang since he basically raised MK

I imagine Pigsy wouldn’t want to take a day off to babysit, and so he’d probably get MK to help work in the kitchen so he can focus on your kid without getting too distracted. And if MK is busy he’ll just ask someone else in the gang! Though, he probably won’t be happy about it-

After you drop your kid off at Pigsy’s restaurant he’ll have two options for them to choose from: Help out in the kitchen or hang out at a table

If your kid wants to help in the back he’ll teach them all the basics of noodle making! But if your kid is a slow learner he’ll probably just give ‘em some dough to play with while he works.

If your kid just wants to hang out at a table, Pigsy will bring them some of MK’s crayons and let them do some drawing. Don’t worry, he’ll occasionally peek out of the kitchen to check on them

Pigsy is kind but stern, so your kid should be prepared to get yelled at lectured at least once 😅 (I’m kidding ofc, I don’t think he’d really yell unless he was in a panic or REALLY upset. Something tells me he has a soft spot for kids)

Whoever is helping him work would also get to hang out with your kid during their breaks, so it’s like 2 babysitters for the cost of 1!

I love Pigsy, and I’m sure other people do as well! He has experience and is fairly responsible, he definitely wouldn’t let your kid get away with doing something bad. He can be tense at times, so if your kid is sensitive he might not be the best babysitter for them. But I’d like to point out HE DEFINITELY HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR KIDS which means he might be nicer than normal. Because of this I’m rating his babysitting services an 8/10!

[waywardsou2]

IM WATCHING THE FINALE OF ROTTMNT SOMEONE SEND HELP I AM DYING. I AM SOBBING AT ALL OF THIS. THEY KNEW KARAI FOR 10 MINUTES AND NOW SHES GONE. THIS IS SO HEART FELT AND SO SAD AND SO BROKEN AND IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND! I don’t know if I can commit to this.

I’ll keep this thread going but damn is this a lot to take in.

AND RAPH CARRYING EVERYONE AND HAVING TO HOLD LEO BACK AND SPLINTER AND DRUXUM BEING THAT AWESOME DADS THAT THEY ARE, STAYINF BEHIND TO STAVE OFF SHREDDER.

Aaaaa

Pt 2:

OMG LAST EPISODE BEFORE THE MOVIE AND I AM FREAKING OUT. AND CASSANDRA?! OMG I KNOW HER HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT OMG. THIS IS GONNA BE INSANE

also is shredder voiced by the same guy that voiced splinter in 2012? Coz if that’s the case I’m gonna die, yk again

I also thought Draxum was gonna betray them, but thank god he didn’t. I love Him too much

This is going to end my life. I hope my boys are gonna be ok.

OMG OK HERE IT IS, FINAL BATTLE. AAAA

Pt 3.

OMIGOSH OK WOW. I JUST FINISHED IT BUT IVE GOT WORK SO ILL HAVE TO WSTCH THE MOVIE LATER. BUT GOD DAMN THAT WAS EPIC. WHY DID I NOT GIVE THIS SHOW THE BENIFIT OF THE DOUBT WHEN IT CAME OUT YEARS AGO. WHAT WAS I THINKING. I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THE MOIVE!!!

Pt 4.

ITS MOVIE TIME, HERE WE GO, MY SHIFT IS OVER AND I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS THE ENTIRE TIME, SO IM NOT GONNA WASTE ANYMORE PRECIOUS MINUTES, AND GET INTO IT!!!

Pt 5.

OMG THAT MOVIE WAS AMAZING, WHY DID I WAIT 5 YEARS TO START WATCHING THAT FRANCHISE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT WAS I THINKING!? THAT MOVIE WAS FANTASTIC, ITS SO WHOLESOME AND RELATABLE AND HEARTWARMING. OMGGGGGGG! THAT IS AN AWESOME FAMILY MOIVE. BRUH OMG. ok ok but seriously I do have some actual things to say.

1. I’m sad that we didn’t get to see future Donnie and raph or much of the future at all, that sorta felt like a really big chunk that was just kinda missing. Maybe that’ll be cleared up in the new season/s coming out soon.

2. I wanna see what happens to Casey, I want him to meet his mum or something like that, because that is awesome.

3. The power of family is such an amazing element to me because realistically, they can’t be family they are different spiecies of turtles and their dad is a rat and their…dad is a yokai BUT THAT MAKES IT FOUND FAMILY. And I fucking love that even more. I never understood the unrequited love of family but found family makes it so much more close to home for me. I love them

4. DONNIE IS FUCKING AWESOME. I KNEW HE WAS MY FAVOURITE FOR A REASON. HELL YEAH!

5. This whole thing was a blast and an emotional rollercoaster and I really recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it (but let’s face it I’m the one that’s late to the party here) but holy fuck yes, awesome movie, awesome part of the franchisee, turtles forever

COWABUNGA!!!

💙🐢

❤️🐢

💜🐢

🧡🐢

[anjumbai]

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis – Thoughts

“… and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.”

First of all, this is one huge book. I was skeptical of whether I should really even pick this up, will this put me in another reading slump and yada yada. Surprisingly, I managed to finish it in a very short time. The narration style and dialogues are something I found to be absolutely hilarious. Bret Easton is very crafty with the dialogues he constructs and I don’t understand how he comes up with such elaborate and funny conversations. Honestly, I’d research a little bit more about the book and the writer but there is no network in my country as I’m writing this. So yeah, giving it to you raw.

Can I talk about the movie first? I’ll talk about the movie first. I love Christian Bale. He’s one of my favorite actors, a master at his craft and worthy of respect for his diverse set of roles. His dedication to play a role is unmatched. He starred as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho and I’m glad I watched the movie first. The book is written in first person narrated by our P&P executive, working in murders and executions, Patrick Bateman. And every time I imagine a scenery with this guy, pop, it’s Christian Bale’s goofy ass acting popping up in my head and I absolutely love it. Somebody said while working with Bale that during the shoot of the film, he thought that Bale was deliberately acting horrible. He couldn’t understand why and when the movie came out, his doubts were gone. He seemed like the perfect sociopath, trying his best to fit in while being absolutely horrible at it. His deliberate bad acting just made the character Bateman come to life. It was bad acting to the point it was amazing acting. I don’t know, 10/10 for Christian Bale.

Let’s start off with the contents of the book. The book is a series of narration of the events happening in Bateman’s life and his mind by Bateman himself. There are often whole chapters dedicated to Bateman naming designer and luxury brands, describing popular music bands and their history and what their songs mean, there was even a whole chapter dedicated to his panic attacks; considering he is always high on Xanax, Velium or some other drug. Pages and pages worth of creative and witty dialogue, callbacks or just the total unhinged way of how Patrick treats everyone else when he is on bloodthirst mode. So much to highlight. So much to highlight, cause all of it is just so funny. Something like- “What is this continuing inability you have to evaluate this situation rationally?” when Patrick is being harassed by his fellow gay co-worker(who thinks Patrick loves him cause that one time he was trying to strangle him but dude thought wow Patricks in love with me) is just comedic. Or something like – “Patrick, why aren’t you looking at me?” “I’m ignoring you, Luis.” Just makes me laugh out loud. And of course, the movie. Lines from the movie written out in the book and you’re just sitting there Leonardo DiCaprio-ing all over. “He said the thing.”

All jokes aside, it was also a very clever critique of the free market. All the characters are extremely self-centered to the point of obsessive narcissism, where Pat just takes it up a notch. I don’t need to describe some of the scenes from the movie or the book because I can’t. It’s just not possible, the things Bret writes in the book, to put in a review. If you do wanna see an uncensored review, do pull up your Platinum AmEx card and sign up for my patron, where you’ll find exclusive content. Seriously, if you don’t have a Platinum AmEx card you might as well just be gutter garbage. Did I tell you that Patrick just gave me a face care routine that’ll set me back thousands of dollars but it’ll make me feel, quote, “I feel like shit but look great”?

Overall, my thoughts are all over the place and there’s nothing in particular I want to say about this book. It’s just the day to day life of a psychopath who commits heinous and gorey acts of crime, murder and what not. The book is basically him trying to fit in society while also maintaining his bloodlust. The lines “My nightly bloodlust overflowed into my days and I had to leave the city. My mask of sanity was a victim of impending slippage” sums up the book pretty well. He doesn’t necessarily leave the city all the time but rather he leaves his “I work in finance” façade behind and goes full on Ted Bundy all over the city. Graphic and gorey descriptions of his murder, torture, assault is just horrifying to even imagine. The very fact that someone thought all of this and put it in a book is gut-wrenching alone but let’s just say that the book tries to put some heartfelt moments too. Sentences like “I just want to be loved” are spoken out loud by Patrick after he, pretty graphically, cooks a part of a human body for his dinner. Words are written but not said out loud when Patrick feels love from someone. Genuine, heartfelt love that doesn’t want fame or money or anything else from Patrick, unlike every other girl he has slept with. “yet she weakens me, it’s almost as if she’s making the decision about who I am, and in my own stubborn, willful way I can admit to feeling a pang, something tightening inside, and before I can stop it I find myself almost dazzled and moved that I might have the capacity to accept, though not return, her love.” A slight attempt at humanizing a monster, I’d say. Not very successful. And I found it funny that even until the end of the book, I couldn’t tell most characters apart from one another. Just like in the movie, and I think the movie captured that essence pretty well.

Most of what you can know about the story is summed up pretty well in the movie, except that the book delves into much more comedy and, of course, gore. The movie ends at a better note in my opinion, simply because the part where the movie ends is just one of the few final chapters of the book. The movie couldn’t have done well with what the book offered as its ending and well done to the script writers for that. The book is hilarious, graphic and just a really funny mockery of materialism. It’s definitely worth a read but it does drag on without a proper goal or anything. But did I still enjoy it a lot? Yes, I did. 8/10. Hilarious and witty.

Now you know what to do when life is getting you down. Just tell yourself “You’ve got a negative attitude. That’s what’s stopping you. You need to get your act together.” Wise words, honestly.

Big ideas, guy stuff, boy meets the world, boy gets it.

[njwinterquartz]

Kind of a genuine question but how did/do people think buddie was/is going to happen this season? I’m not being rude, i didn’t think buddie was going to happen this season but I could see the possible build up to it in a season or two in the future.

One it’s a short season so not much time to hyper focus on only a couple characters. Two we only got Bi Buck just about halfway through the season, and they made it clear he didn’t know about it before now.

Three what about Eddie? Like seriously Eddie’s plot at the beginning didn’t really have room to move towards buddie yet. He had a girlfriend and they finally started to wrap up the Shannon story. Now we’ve got him just starting to delve into Catholic guilt, and from the bts stuff we can guess that’ll continue with Shannon appearing again. Like we’ve gotta wrap up Shannon finally and have Eddie be able to move on. And that looks like it’s happening in episodes 7-9. That only leaves the finale, and since Buck had his major plot line in the 3-4 episodes I doubt he’ll have another major plot line so that doesn’t give much time to do anything with Tommy.

I get being hopeful but some people truly seemed to believe it was going to happen in this season. But I just don’t see how they could have fit it in, especially without rushing it to fit into a shortened season. Because yes you can still rush a slow burn.

(Don’t even get me started on the leakers and what they say on here and Twitter, I ignore everything they say because of how condescending they sound all the time)

[demonic-silver-and-gold]

Diary of an Attendant/Friend/Stranger (3)

Excerpt 3: Pets and Shenanigans

{Masterlist} {Ao3}

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Spoilers for all games, cursing, liberal use of strikethroughs

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

That wasn’t fair. So not fair. But hey, at least I know how Levi got Henry 1.0 and how Lucifer got Cerberus. I should’ve known better, honestly, than to expect them to have gotten such large and dangerous animals not in the midst of chaos and a near-death experience.

But hey! Solomon’s muffins work wonders to repel everyone unwanted creatures (thanks, Asmo, for ignoring me this time). Also, can’t fucking believe I might’ve had an impact on the block of ice idea for Goldie — here’s to making life easier for future/past me! I was JOKING this guy has a sense of humor my god.

I guess it’s like Sol said, that even through time and space we’re still connected. I’m even missing the punishments I can’t get here, how messed up is that? Not to mention the fact Dia wants to add me to the founding of RAD which is just baffling. Heck, I said so myself but his mind was made up and I couldn’t help but agree. It's... weird, but nice, in a way.

And then the fuzzy feeling in my chest had to be ripped away after Lucifer just confirmed what I already knew — that I wasn’t trusted nor wanted but hey, SNAKES.

And as I can never really get a break, of course Solomon had to go and wave the idea that there was a monster that would get them respect. He might be my teacher, a mentor — hell, even a friend — but it’s still not sitting well with me how easily he chose to manipulate them into the situation. I’m overthinking again, whatever. Right now he’s my main hope of going home. Maybe I'm just bitter that he can come and go as he pleases, what exactly is that Nightbringer being getting at by having me here? Do I know them?

Then the situation with that (those?) dog(s?) happened. (Love you Cerberus, but you're in my nightmares for a reason).

I can’t shake off the feeling I got when Mammon and I started talking about pacts. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, when he admitted how he saw such a connection and I silently compared it to how ours had happened. I almost apologized on the spot but held my tongue. Can’t apologize for something you technically haven’t done yet, right? You sure can try, but I still didn’t. It’s the guilt, it got to me. I’m starting to doubt everything about our relationship (my time Mammon and I). I wouldn't blame him, honestly, if he'd push me away for it. Maybe I do need therapy, actually.

Oh, and can I just say — Solomon, how the fuck do you get a relatively passive demon to absolutely despise you openly? Seriously, it’s Barbatos, of all demons. What did you even do?! Regardless, I’m glad I got to spend some time learning about tea etiquette with him before this whole mess happened, otherwise I’d have lost it in the middle of that interview.

I'll write about Cerberus more in depth later, I don't want to think about it right now. Quickly in summary: traps to get to Cerberus happened, shenanigans ensued (loved seeing Satan getting dragged into the lake like a kitten getting its first bath), Asmo was shaken with his newly unlocked power, Beel was summoned somehow and then BOOM — Lucifer got a three headed dog.

I still worry about the brothers more than I should. Seeing them being so vulnerable is awful, like I shouldn’t be here. I really should just tell them the truth just to shut them up, for them to believe I care. I hate lying like this, taking advantage of their trust. Maybe I should try harder to make pacts, even if it feels so wrong, just to get out before it’s too late. Maybe that’ll help. I don’t know anymore.

I think Levi's in trouble, I'll see what I can do next time I see them all.

[megamanrecut]

Become the Night part 6: A Rumor from the Underground

That night, Pharaoh Man paid another visit to Fulmen Financial to check in with Elec Man.

"Another attack?" Pharaoh Man muttered. They stood over the lifeless body of the scrapper back in the dark chamber Elec Man's windowless office.

"Yes—but it was not an issue," Elec Man responded airily. "It never is. These lesser mobs should take a hint and leave Syndicate grounds alone."

"Yet I expect attacks to become more frequent," Pharaoh Man responded dryly. He glanced over at Elec Man. "How is your guest? Has he mentioned anything about wanting to return to his creator?"

Elec Man shook his head.

"Hmm. What do you have him doing?"

"Paperwork."

Pharaoh Man chuckled. "That'll settle him down. I still can't believe a rogue domestic android was behind all of those burglaries. Yet, his programming is advanced. More advanced than ours. Does he really sleep?"

"Yes, just like a human. His room had to have a bed set up for him."

"Strange. Centum's very interested in his programming…" Pharaoh Man shook his head. "I know you were the one who captured him, but don't feel obligated to manage this situation if he becomes a bother. If there's anything I can do to help—"

"Not necessary," Elec Man cut him off. "I can handle a rogue domestic android."

Though this was more than true, Elec Man had not yet told Pharaoh Man that Proto had overheard their last conversation on the true nature of their Syndicate mission orders. It was embarrassing that something like this had happened in Fulmen Financial, besides, it would come to nothing, Elec Man would make sure of it.

Pharaoh Man nodded. He looked down at the scrapper again for a moment, then said in a low voice, "...There is something else I wanted to talk to you about. Big Buck, leader of the Good Boys Guild, was found by the docks earlier this evening—dead."

Elec Man did not feel very sorry about this news. Based on the conduct of the Good Boys Guild, he doubted few would—still, this was unexpected. "By whom? We were supposed to take care of him…"

"Based on the condition of the body, a scrapper was responsible. No mob is taking credit for it, but all fingers are pointing toward the Peacekeeping Collective."

"The Peacekeeping Collective? That wannabe racketing ring?" Elec Man rolled his eyes with a disdainful huff. "Some mobs think if they give themselves a big name they will be taken seriously, but the Collective is just a disappointing assembly of poorly constructed Robot Master knock-offs. They'll be wiped out within a week."

"My thoughts exactly. It's a favorable turn for us—Big Buck is one less problem for us to settle, and with any luck the Guild and the Collective will tear each other to pieces while we keep our hands clean."

"Perhaps…" Elec Man paused. "…But doesn't it seem strange to you? The Collective is an F-tier mob, why would they risk a gang war with the Good Boys Guild?"

Pharaoh Man shrugged. "Rumor is, the Guild had something the Collective wanted—a software program the Guild had acquired a few years ago but didn't consider valuable—or at least, the Guild didn't know what it was, so the Collective stole it."

"Oh? We should investigate. It would be simple for me to hack into the Collective's systems, find out what this program is—"

Pharaoh Man gave a soft chuckle. "It's just a rumor, Elec Man. I know you are thorough, but curiosity killed the cat."

Elec Man wrinkled his nose at the expression. "The Peacekeeping Collective is a joke. I've taken down mobs ten times their size. Besides, I have Thunder Beam, I'm practically unbeatable—"

"Think of the Collective as a slow and stupid pigeon pecking out the eyes of a bulldog to steal a shiny rock from its junkyard," Pharaoh Man interrupted again. "The rock may not have value, but the bulldog will not care when it bites off the pigeon's head—it would be foolish for lions like us to become unnecessarily involved in their fight to the death."

Elec Man gave him a flat look. "I don't need metaphors, I'm not a child."

"That attitude…" Pharaoh Man muttered, shaking his head and turning toward the door. "Neither the Guild nor the Collective are very bright, don't get caught up in their crossfire, it's not worth your time. Remember what I've told you, if either of us fell into a bad situation, I might not be able to rescue you, and vice versa."

"I know," Elec Man uttered, trying (in vain) not to be annoyed by Pharaoh Man's relentless words of caution—but he couldn't help as his thoughts returned to the obscure Peacekeeping Collective and the mysterious program they had stolen.

To be continued…

[unchataparis]

A Review of Multiplication (Part 2)

Part 1 here.

Nino’s face is so expressive.

A time skip. That’s unexpected. I never expected something of this narrative to be used in Miraculous, for a show that chronologically stuffs all the events of Season 2, 3, and half of 4 into 2 weeks. It’s very realistic, which is great! Really shows how seriously events in this season is going to be taken.

Félix has been missing for weeks at this point? People really should be more concerned. What if Monarch killed him? Just saying.

I wonder if Nino feels abandoned.

Been some time since we’ve seen a full Ladybug transformation. I like the music! Like the theme song, it sounds far more mature and edgier, with a little electric guitar twang.

Chat Noir’s theme has so much snazziness in it. The electric guitar is a lot more pronounced. It is very light-hearted, however.

Ladybug mentioning that the last time they fought Ikari Gozen, they had assistance, which fosters doubt about whether or not they can manage the feat this time. The power levels in Miraculous are very askew. Maybe it’s because they are children, but Papillon was far too powerful, he shouldn’t be giving the Holders of the two Central Miraculous this much trouble. He doesn't even fight, while Adrien has fencing training, and Ladybug and Chat Noir risk their life and limb every other Tuesday. Ladybug and Chat Noir should've been able to beat Papillon up.

"I love architecture too much to let her keep going like this." Adrien canonically adores architecture. A check in the personal headcanon board.

"If only we could stop her blade", sounds like a job for a Bee Hero.

And here’s the big surprise of the season! The villains can now use Miraculous superpowers! So Monarch isn’t going to attack Ladybug and Chat Noir on his own with the Miraculous, or raise his own army of villains (although that option is still out there, it’ll be funny to see Gabriel offering Adrien a Miraculous, although that won’t happen, that’ll end the story immediately), he’s gong to imbue his Champions with the power of the Miraculous Jewels. Oh no! How will Ladybug and Chat Noir fare against the abilities of the allies they’ve been relying on for so long?

The Eiffel Tower always falls so perfectly, like a model toy. No foundations ripped up, no parts crumbled. 

"Think she’ll take the bait?" "We’ll just have to find the right fishing spot." How does the writers manage to come up with perfect puns for each Lucky Charm?

Ikari Dozen, lmao.

Ladybug says Point Final instead of "Bug out!" in French? Huh. The French version is a lot more mature, in a way.

Tomoe and Gabriel are undeniably working together. What does Tomoe want from this? Her daughter is distant from her, but she doesn’t care about that, and as far as the audience knows, Tomoe doesn’t have any family member in comas. Power? The ability to destroy historical parks to build her Technophones?

This advertisement is amazing, it looks like a high-tech apple campaign, which is what the writers are going for, I assume. A fashion and electronics collaboration. I could get behind it. Like Maison Kitsune and Samsung, or Hèrmes and Apple Watches.

Adrien and Lila as the avatars! That’s so cool! My OTP.

The advertisement ends with the two of them before a (incredibly empty) Gabriel store. That’s very chic.

"Your father is a genius."

Shoulder touch.

What did they put in this episode? Why does Adrien look so good??

I can’t even being the describe the amount of ethical violations that Gabriel is subjecting Adrien to by digitalising him. Is Alliance purely for the purpose of defeating Ladybug and Chat Noir? Does Gabriel realise how dangerous it is to put his child’s model out there in the world? What is he going to do after this, should he win? Continue utilising Adrien's face? Is Adrien going to be sufficient paid for this? That’s his image, after all, Gabriel doesn’t own that.

This was a pretty sweet episode. Évolution deals with the immediate aftermath of Season 4, but Multiplication really introduces the mood for this new season. Time passes, Paris grows, and the whole debacle between Adrien and Lila, Gabriel and Tomoe begins. Alliance is a really, really interesting plot device, this little ring is going to get both Gabriel and Ladybug in a lot of trouble, I bet, because Gabriel is going to catch Ladybug with it, somehow, but Ladybug is going to pull a signature UNO reverse like she always does, and get him back too, I’m sure.

I think this is also the first time we had an after-end card scene? Like a post-credit scene that introduces a new Marvel villain, here Félix is. Revealed to be hiding in his house after all. Amélie is a great mother. She has a close connection with her son, and it’s apparent that Félix really trusts and respects her. She doesn’t seem to entirely know what’s going on, but that’s not because Félix is scared to tell her, it just appears that Amélie isn’t interested in knowing. As long as Félix is having fun and isn’t hurt, that’s all she cares about. This is a dynamic that makes Amélie and Félix unique, in a universe full of abusive, ignorant, or distant parents. 

Félix drinking tea, how British. 

Unlike Adrien’s Miraculous jewels, Félix’s covert style is gold in contrast with his silver.

Although Félix plays at being villanious, I’m sure he and Duusu will have a great relationship. They both have the wild card, maverick kind of vibe to them. Duusu, alone, out of all the Kwami, doesn’t seem to be bothered by their captivity, playing along with their kidnappers even. Duusu actually has something of a mutual relationship with Nathalie, which is far more than could be said for Nooroo and Gabriel.

Duusu is also quite unique, solitarily for the fact that the onus lies on their Miraculous jewel for triggering this entire series.

[kariachi]

Some fic inspired by that post from last night.

Kevin and the struggle of ‘do I tell people who I am’.

~~

“I think, they don’t know who I am,” Kevin said, running a hand up through Argit’s mane in search of loose quills. His ear twitched.

“What?”

“Between, everything, that’s different. I don’t think they realize who I am.” The apartment was filled only with Kevin’s music for a long beat, before Argit snorted hard enough to double himself over.

“Seriously,” he snickered as Kevin yanked him back into place by the back of his shirt.

“Seriously. It’d explain why they’re being so… chill.” He had been so fucking confused these past couple weeks. With their history he had been expecting more than the, admittedly annoying as fuck, ‘yeah he’s a criminal they’re like that’ treatment he’d been getting. A little more wariness, little more concern, less willingness to be alone in a room with him. But the other day, the topic of the gladiator ring had come up, and Ben had proceeded to explain the whole thing like Kevin had not, in fact, been there.

The realization had hit him like a truck at that point.

“I’m trying to figure out telling them,” he said.

“Kev, buddy, Ravrsa, noo,” Argit pleaded, laughter still bubbling up out of his throat as he grabbed his sleeve and turned to try to puppy eye him, “it’s the funniest shit!”

“I know-” It really, really was, and he’d be perfectly cool with keeping his, mouth shut and seeing how long this lasted, but circumstances were what they were. “-but if nothing else having Gwen gunning for me when she doesn’t have vital info…” The whole situation was awkward enough before. He was interested- though most he’d been hungry, and she was a lot of energy in one space- but she was uncomfortably pushy about it, and his addiction issues hung over the whole idea like a guillotine even before bringing their history into account. Now? Knowing she probably didn’t know they had history? Made it all worse.

“Eh, fuck her. What’s she got that Looma doesn’t? Besides a chance for you to relapse.” Kevin groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Looma is gonna get beat by somebody else and that’ll be the end of it.”

“Hasn’t happened yet.”

“It’s just a matter of time. She’s royalty, and I’m not that good a fighter, no way someone isn’t gonna come along.” He’d only won in the first place because he had more experience fighting Tetramand than she’d had fighting non-Tetramand. The fact nobody’d managed yet was a little worrying, but he wasn’t especially concerned. There was time.

“You keep telling yourself that, Earthboy. I’ll keep practicing my Khoron.”

“You go right ahead.” Shaking his head, he shoved Argit’s back into position and set back to grooming. “I just don’t know how to go about this.” It wasn’t even the history thing that was the big problem. Yes, it was an issue and he damn well expected it would change everything when they learned exactly who they had been dealing with. No doubt everything was going to be worse than he felt it should have been, given the gap between them starting working together and finding out who he was. Still, that was something he could deal with. Wouldn’t be the first time what had seemed like a good thing had shattered and it wouldn’t be the last, at least this time he could stop himself from getting too attached ahead of time. But letting them know would, by it’s very nature, require coming out to them.

He'd never come out to anybody before.

Okay, that was a lie, he’d come out to Argit by grace of being bestfriends and living with the guy for the entire time he’d been going from ‘I’m a tomboy who really wishes she could be a boy’ to ‘I’m a boy and anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong and can bite my ass’. He hadn’t come out to anybody else before. In the greater galaxy he’d just let the ambiguity that came with nobody knowing what humans were, nonetheless anything about their biology, work for him. Since coming back he’d reveled in having inherited his grandma’s broad shoulders and easy muscle, how much easier it made passing. And now here he was, trying to figure out how to come out, on Earth, where he knew damn well people were willing to start trouble over this shit.

He had no idea how to tell if the Tennysons would be the type to start trouble over this shit. They’d at least stay professional, right? They had to. The planet was at stake.

“So, don’t bother with it,” Argit said, pulling him out of his head with a shrug. “If the big worry is that it’s not fair to Gwen, shut her down and move on. Don’t like that she’s been pushy with you anyway, you can do better. Throw the body over the edge, and it won’t matter if she knows or not anymore. Then you can just let the whole mess be, we can keep laughing at their stupid, and if they ever figure it out you can feign ignorance at how they could’ve not realized who you are.”

It probably said something that for all he was interested in Gwen, the option was very tempting.

“You talk real sensibly for a complete asshole,” he said, dumping a handful of old quills into the trash.

“Love you too, buddy.” Argit’s tail wrapped affectionately around his arm. “There’s no reason for you to make yourself uncomfortable just so they can have something new to be annoying as shit over.” Snorting, Kevin flicked his ear.

“Thanks, Hedgehog. It’s not the worst option I’ve got…”

[raxistaicho]

Are we not engaged?

What, did you think I wouldn’t buy Engage just ‘cause I had ill hopes for it? You’d be wrong, bucko. Raxis from the past took notes while he was playing :)

Spoilers under the tags, I guess.

-Raxis from the past here

-Fuckin’ Timerra gets no real estate space on the cover because Marth has to have cover to leer at us.

-The game opens with a still image of the cover art why?

-Title screen is pretty at least.

-Skip power rangers intro.

-“Select a form” instead of “gender” again, that’ll piss off the shitbags on twitter who complain about this.

-Casual’s the default setting now, is that how it’s been for a while? Not sure. Still neat.

-Invisible Ties-like intro, I see.

-Timerra’s voice is young.

-Marth says the thing.

-Wait this flash-forward has no bad end? Boring. It’s like “hey here’s Marth” and a basic gameplay intro. Was I supposed to be tricked that this is a flashback instead of forward? But that wouldn’t work because Alfred, Ivy, Timerra, and Diamant are here, unless they inexplicably had duplicates in the past. Did we time travel or something?

-Why the fuck were the kids standing over Alear.

-”No way,” “no way.” Riveting dialogue.

-Game indofumps on me about how cool Alear is right away.

-The game wastes no time kissing Alear’s ass.

-Alfred and Celine coming to worship Alear while she was asleep is super creepy.

-ENEMY JUMP SCARE WTF LOL. Just BAM! Suddenly an enemy in front of you!

-”Let run!” okay Alear’s actually fine lol.

-So Vander is supposed to be a veteran knight but he’s all “your courage is legendary, Divine One, let us fite!” Dude, your charge just woke up and has no memory and you have no idea how good she is at fighting, are you TRYING to risk her life?

-And then Clanne and Framme decide to give tanking a try, who the fuck trained these clowns? They’ve got no discipline between the three of them and they’re making a mockery of the supposed sanctity of their position and the Divine Dragon by extension.

-”Remember Fire Emblem?” asked Marth.

Chapter one was just another basic tutorial, I don’t see anyone struggling, even though it’s made to look tense at first with Clanne and Framme appearing to be in danger.

-Lumera is introduced tits first okay.

-Lumera’s infodumping us again.

-Does this war have a name?

-Nobody knows where Sombrom came from. What, was my guess about time travel right?

-What does Lumera DO? Does anyone live in this holy land?

-Lumera was gonna gather the rings herself but she didn’t get around to it. Fucking incompetent protector.

-The game’s rushing into fights.

-Lumera’s defeat quote doesn’t sound appropriate for a training battle, so whatever happens to her after this I’ll see her again after this chapter.

-I didn’t get a chance to fight the two sword cavs because Lumera rushed wtf ahead to lay the smackdown on Vander lol.

Chapter two you just gotta mind archer range and Lumera’s mobility with Sigurd.

-Lumera’s spike clips through her shawl thingy. I can’t unsee it.

-This game’s pacing is unreal, it’s just blitzing through everything to get to the next fight.

-Red Alear dream. Marth’s cadgy about Alear’s past.

-Alfred’s a fucking goofball. Can’t take flower country seriously after seeing its prince and his retainers.

-At least Etie’s abs aren’t spray-painted like Rinkah’s, what with her rocking 10 base strength.

-First human boss is a generic woman, that’s actually pretty cool.

-Why didn’t Lumera pick Alear up and fly her away instead of just tank the dark magic.

-”Divine Dragon” keeps being used like a noun. My “Divine Dragon” energy. Really clunky.

-I don’t think Lumera is Alear’s real mom, she said she was happy to “become” Alear’s mother.

-Lumera dies way too early for me to care. It lacks both the time spent getting to know her that Greil and Jeralt had and also it drags out way too long to have the cruel suddenness Mikoto had.

-Alear’s voice actress is doing her damndest to save the scene though.

-Lol pinky promise.

-Lumera says she’ll talk with Alear again? So I doubt she’s dead for good.

-Lumera has enough life in her for an extended infodump while DYING. Is she operating under Practical Guide to Evil rules?

Chapter Three is getting better, you have to carefully be aggressive so you don’t have to fight too many of them at once. This game’s pretty well playtested mostly, Etie exactly one-shots these pegasi. That said, Framme does dick-all for damage so it’s healbotting for her.

-So Corrupted have been attacking Freline long enough for Alfred to sail to the holy land seeking help. Alear just woke up this same day so what the fuck has Lumera been DOING? Isn’t she supposed to be protecting the land?

-The Somniel can only be reached by Divine Dragons, so WHY NOT KEEP THE RINGS THERE? Why doesn’t Lumera just live there, she didn’t appear to be doing any actual protecting from the holy land!

-Vander Alear C: Vander is devoted, Alear is awkward about it. Nothing new learned.

-Framme Alear C: “Four three two one, who’s our favorite dragon?” Fucking kill me. Framme’s a fangirl but that was obvious during her literal first moment.

-Framme Clanne C: Framme and Clanne are the same fucking character, jesus christ.

-Framme Vander C: Vander is devoted, Framme is kinda lazy. Scene feels like it ends before it’s supposed to, like one of those Three Houses cutscenes with multiple scenes but it stops at the first.

-Bam! Jump cut to Firene!

-Alfred infodumps us on the land. Apparently Firene is a land of plenty, next to a shitty canyon and a shitty desert, and yet nobody attacks them because Solm is chill and Brodia is busy attacking Elucia.

-Brodia is trying to expand their territory yet they’re on the good guy side. Imperialism okay then?

-Celine’s retainers aren’t as annoying as Alfred’s. Also Celine herself seems to be more mature than Alfred, which is... not remotely what I expected, to be honest.

-I feel like the game’s trying to trick me into warping Celine into danger to save Chloe and Louis.

-”Village pillage” fml.

That’s all for now.

[hiiamamy2]

Jenna’s quick guide to anal orgasms

Since I still get asked a lot on how to do it, I’ll try to sum it up quickly for you guys :)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and I realize that not everybody is built the same. What works for me does not necessarily have to work for you. I also realize that there’s a difference between milking your prostate and having an anal orgasm. Short explanation: Milking feels nice and ends with ejaculation while an anal orgasm explodes inside your body and doesn’t always mean you eject semen.

STEP 1

Chastity. You don’t need a device to lock your penis away (even though I think it’s fucking awesome). But you shouldn’t jerk off for at least 10 days if it’s your first time. That’ll help, also when you’re having moral doubts for whatever reason.

STEP 2

Hygiene. Give yourself an enema and make sure that you’re really clean. And make sure that ass is completely hairless. Objects entering your anus will pull on your hair down there and it will not feel nice.

STEP 3

Choose the right weapon. For me, a realistic dildo works the best. And it’s shape is very important. See this picture?

The parts that I circled is the most important ones and are going to rub against your prostate. That’s right. Don’t poke your prostate like you’re trying to stab it. Firmly scrape against it with that part of the glans instead. Forget about your own penis. Don’t even touch it. I mean it. Only one cock matters right now and it’s not the one attached to your body.

STEP 4

Relax. There is absolutely no need to hurry. You don’t have any other place to go right now. It’s very important that you explore your ass gently with lots of lube until penetration does not feel uncomfortable at all. Fuck yourself for a while and don’t think about how much time already passed. Watch some anal porn while you’re at it and try to visualize how you might cum from getting fucked in the ass. Remember that awesome sex is mostly happening in your brain.

STEP 5

The right position. I have no explanation for this. But when I started with regular anal masturbation, doggy style worked the best for me to cum from getting fucked. But every person is different.

STEP 6

Don’t be a lazy fuck. Some people play with their asses for hours and expect a miracle to happen. That’s the wrong idea, in my opinion. You gotta work that cock. Like this:

missing picture

Well I realize that this little animation might look a bit silly. But that’s actually what I usually do. While my sphincter stays mostly relaxed during my fuck sessions, I flex the inner part of my ass against the cock that’s pounding it.

STEP 8

Practice. It took me over a year to learn this. And when I first fucked the cum out of my balls anally I was playing with myself for more than an hour. But today it only takes me a few minutes, when I’m in the right mood. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t seem to work. Give your ass a few days rest and try again. And remember that no part of this should ever hurt. If it hurts you’re doing it wrong and you should stop before you injure yourself. Seriously.

Good luck and happy assturbating!

this is amazing! thanks for the advice!

Excellent advice for all gurls trying to have anal sissy gasm’s! Took me a fair while to get it sorted as well! But never fail now! Practice makes prefect ladies! ❤️❤️