#i really wish i had executed this concept better because i really liked the concept

[dduane]

Salutations and good wishes to you. I am an Indie Author seeking to go Pro. Some good advice and guidance might help minimise the mountain of my anxiety about doing this. I know you got your start with fanfiction, but did you find a publisher/agent through that door? [lots sneer at these days. Still] How many rejections did you suffer before you found your place in the literary world? Thanks for your time and sorry for bothering you <3

Hi there! And don't sweat it: this is no bother.

I have to apologize in advance, because my own career arc isn't likely to serve as much of a good example. In terms of how I got into this business, I'm a serious outlier.

Quickest and easiest to discuss: my agent and I got together after my first book was already bought and published. (Which back in the day was seen as a good enough way to go forward, and then still entirely possible.) He was recommended to me by one of my editors, as—like me—he was just getting started in the business: a likely-looking newcomer then scouting new talent. We met up and chatted, and it seemed to both of us that we'd be a good fit for each other. After forty-odd years of working together, we still are.

About the fanfic: (Adding a cut here so as not to carpet people's dashes with wall-to-wall text...)

What writing all that fic did for me—from about age sixteen onwards—was give me a whole lot of practice in getting the initial garbage associated with a story written and out of the way. Best to admit it here: we all have plenty of crap writing in us. And yeah, even long-term professional writers do. Whether you're at the beginning of your career or right in the middle of it, this is what "zero drafts" are for. You tell yourself the story, first time out... and routinely at this stage a lot of what proves to be unusable stuff emerges, and can be discarded in rewrite. (Of course crap writing can also emerge without warning in the later stages of a project, but there are many reasons for that, all beyond the scope of this discussion.) And you learn even more from reworking the material after you've gotten rid of the dross.

During the period when I was executing what might have been, oh, half a million words of fanfic—Trek originally, and then LoTR—and while reading a whole lot of everything, as I'd been doing since I was first allowed to go raid the town library by myself at age eight—I learned a fair amount about writing without realizing it. Some of it was simply about writing inside a set of rules. (Which I hadn't been doing previously: between eight and sixteen I was writing original fiction, mostly fairy tales.) Naturally in fanfic you have to obey the laws of whatever universe you're working in... or even if you wind up flouting them consciously, you do have to be conscious of them. But this work also led me to something that I hadn't really spent a lot of time thinking about: the concept that fiction writing as a whole had rules. I realized I'd better find out what those were.

The best stuff I found out during this period was what I picked up by direct example from other writers, whom I'd immediately start imitating and then sort of leave by the wayside when I found others I liked better; at which point I'd start imitating them. (This being a great way to learn and hone new skills, and to start getting a sense of what a writer's "voice" is and can come to mean. I think every writer does this, to some extent: because it's really, really tough to learn how to write without reading. And the more extensively the better.)

I have to emphasize here, BTW, that the fanfic that came out of me as I started slogging up this learning curve was all almost uniformly terrible. All of it, mercifully, along with my earliest original fiction, is gone now: long since burnt, shredded, composted under many layers of time. Trust me, it's just as well. Gah was it awful! Nobody else ever saw the stuff, for which I thank great Thoth every time I think about it. ...What's interesting, too, in its way, was that I didn't even know that what I was doing was fan fiction. I had as yet no contact with any kind of organized fandom, and it would be a long time yet before "online" was invented. I was working in utter isolation, unaware that anybody else might have been doing the same thing. (And it's difficult to describe the sense of astonishment and joy that hit me the first time I went to an SF convention, saw fanzines for the first time, and found out that I was not alone. All unsuspecting, I'd stumbled onto one of my tribes.)

But somewhere along the line, as the years went by—as I finished high school and went to college, and then from there to nursing school, and graduated and started working as a psychiatric nurse, and kept on writing—at some point, as I started writing original fiction again, as well as fanfic, the quality of the output began to improve. The combination of constant practice and voracious reading of better writers outside my chosen genre was slowly having an effect. Trusted friends who saw this later material started saying, "This isn't bad, you should try to get it published!" But since none of these folks were writers, I didn't pay too much attention to their opinions.

I did pay attention, though, when my good friend and mentor David Gerrold said something similar on reading my first novel in 1976. And when that was bought by the first publisher who read it, I had to admit he might have had something there.

This too, though, is unfortunately also a way I'm an outlier: I haven't had a lot of rejection. (Even in my TV work, where rejection is pretty much the rule rather than the exception.) Speaking very generally, just about anyone I've pitched something to in the prose market has bought it—or if they didn't like the idea I came in with, they've immediately said "But would you like to do this instead?" And often enough, what they've offered or suggested has been something that sounded like fun. That's how I wound up doing the Star Trek: Rihannsu books, for example: they were "instead of" a Romulan dictionary. Paramount essentially ringfenced an entire AU-area of Trek and gave it to me to play in, which struck me at the time as amazing. And continues to do so.

Now all this may make me sound almost unfairly lucky. But things do tend, slowly or quickly, to balance out. Over time the universe has made up for its relative kindness at the rejection end of things by making sure I knew plenty about the non-rejection forms of writer-career pain: projects from which I was not rejected but which went terribly wrong (wheels come off a huge deal just before signing, promised actors or directors fail to materialize...), projects where I did the work but didn’t get paid, or where I was brought on board and then got fired/ghosted unreasonably or for no reason at all, or sometimes (mortifyingly) for quite good reason. And let's not forget how, as what could seem a very pointed shot across my bow when my career-vessel was just pulling out of port, half the print run of that very-much-buzzed-about debut novel wound up being pulped in the warehouse because another, far better-established writer's new book needed the pallet space that mine had been taking up. (insert rueful smile here) Believe me, entropy is running, and will catch up with you one way or another. So make yourself as ready for it as you can.

I don't mean to increase your anxiety. Yet that said: you're preparing to enter a business in which, for a freelancer, at least some level of anxiety is more or less part of the basic ground of being. You are going to have to develop ways of dealing with the everyday forms of that to keep it from routinely derailing your work.

I find it helps a little if you can come to consider this as a modern form of Going On An Adventure. Good things will happen; bad things will happen; and all of these will be in service of building your career. Think of yourself as being on a quest.

Your job now becomes the business of suiting up with the best equipment and advice you can find (ideally not from outliers like me). The web is full of useful pages on subjects such as how to query and how to find an agent.

Here are links to some.

Compare these resources one against another to see how their different kinds of advice seem to stack up, and which ones are the most congenial for you.

Then use this data to start drawing your personal roadmap across the terrain. Get as clear as you can in your own mind about what you're trying to get out of being in this business: what kind of writing you want to do and what results you want to produce. Then set out, redrawing your road map as necessary as you keep moving forward through the new terrain.

And I wish you good fortune on the journey! (Because luck, as you can see from the above, can definitely be part of this... but fortune favors the prepared.)

Meanwhile, get out there and have a blast. :)

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?

:D an ask! Yay!

Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.

They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.

No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!

Best Quality - His Wiggles

This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!

Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!

The All-Blades

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.

HOWEVER

I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!

...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh

Normal Ass Swords

They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?

Guns - Real Bullets

Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit

Guns - Rubber Bullets

Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.

I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!

JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!

My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!

Bombs

Love it, give him more bombs forever

ka-BOOM!!!!

His Brain

This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.

He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!

Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.

I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!

[coraniaid]

I'm pretty critical of Buffy's final season (because ... well, I've watched it), but there are some things I think it does well and, since I'm trying to talk myself into working on my S7 AU fic again, I thought it might be worth trying to write down what they are.

I like the sense of completeness there is in going back to some of the show's beginnings. I like seeing Buffy in school again, but this time as an adult with a job. It doesn't just let us re-examine the high school years from a new perspective, it gives Buffy's arc over the last few seasons a nice sense of direction. I like what little we see of Dawn in high school. (I wish there were more episodes like Help.) In principle, I even like the fact that this season's Big Bad is a supernatural threat we've seen on the show before.

While I think there are a lot of problems with the execution (and even with the wider concept) of making the First Evil the primary (frequently the only) antagonist, the First being around does give you a lot of possibilities for having characters literally come face to face with their pasts. I like the final scene of Lessons and I like Conversations With Dead People and I like seeing the Mayor on screen again. I wish the show had done more with this concept.

I like meeting new (Potential) Slayers and finding out more about past Slayers. I like Robin Wood. I like Kennedy. (I wish the show did a better job making the audience care about any of the other Potentials.) I like that Faith comes back. I like that there is a focus on what it means to be a Slayer this season (compare how the show opens, with Buffy taking Dawn on patrol and telling her "it's about power..." [which Dawn doesn't have], to the scene in Chosen where Buffy asks the Potentials "what if you could have that power?").

I also (sorry) really like the fact that the writers resisted the urge to make Dawn a Potential or have her suddenly develop any magical powers as a result of being the Key (which there are at least rumours they were talking about doing). I like that the show stuck with the idea that Dawn is the part of Buffy who gets to be an ordinary girl.

For all its flaws (silly CGI battle against monsters I don't care about which is resolved by a random mcguffin from a different show; weird retcon about Sunnydale apparently being inland; a bunch of other unfortunate writing choices I won't get into here) I really do like Chosen a lot. It feels very fitting that the show ends with Buffy both finally getting to leave Sunnydale and with her no longer having to shoulde the burden of being "the" Slayer (or one of only two Slayers, anyway) anymore. I love how open-ended and hopeful that manages to be.

And speaking of Chosen, I like Buffy's "cookie dough" speech. I like the fact that the show lets Buffy end the series single, and recognizing that she doesn't have to be in a serious romantic relationship if she doesn't feel she's ready for one right now. (I like post-S7 Fuffy as a concept a lot, sure, but I think I prefer it as something that neither of them rushes into.)

I like that Amy comes back? I mean, I don't like anything the season does with her, but still: points for remembering she exists, I guess.

I like the fact that Willow gets to grieve Tara but also move on with her life and start dating again. [I don't know if I would have killed Tara off if I was writing S6 -- I think probably not -- but given that Tara did die I think this is the only good option.]

Empty Places is a good .... name for an episode?

For all my (many, many) issues with Andrew Wells this season (and in particular with just how much Andrew Wells is in this season, which is ... a lot), I think Storyteller is ... pretty good? I liked Jonathan, I think it's sad he dies (and his speech about missing high school now that he's left is another good moment from this season) but I wouldn't really have wanted to have him turn up and help save the day either. Having Andrew kill him (and then have to face up to the fact) feels like the right choice, to me, if you were going to bring either character back [I'm not really sure I would have done that though, to be honest].

Equally, for all my irritation at the time wasted on the "is Giles the First Evil?" subplot and at some of the other character deaths the writers did go for, I'm glad that the Core Four all survive. What the season actually does with Giles isn't very good, and neither Xander nor Willow are in this season enough (especially not in its second half), but at least they all get to live.

Oh, and Anya. I'm glad the writers didn't give in to the temptation to kill off Anya for some sort of cheap shock value, the way some leaked early drafts of Chosen suggest they were thinking of doing. Can you imagine how infuriating that would have been? I don't know if I would ever have accepted it. I might even now be living in denial. Thankfully common sense prevailed there and Anya definitely survived.

[beanghostprincess]

Dropping some silly Shuggy content bc it's how I cope-

Shanks was found as a baby in a treasure chest. Buggy was semi-force-adopted off the streets at about 6/7. Roger really just went "Anyone gonna parent these kids" and was already signing pretend adoption papers furiously before anyone could so much as breathe.

The Roger crew tried to teach the boys school-like things, but Shanks HATED it while Buggy was just gobbling itt up like a dehydrated horse in a desert oasis.

Buggy LOVED reading (and still does in the present), but he has a soft spot for fantasy stories and fiction. He worries the others would make fun of him for it, but Shanks is Not Having That. He offers to be the one to ask for those books on the condition that Buggy read to him before bed. He acts put out and huffy about it, but Shanks can see him blushing every time he snuggles closer or asks a question.

Roger knows damn well about the truth bc he too sometimes joined story time. Buggy has that Performer Energy down to a SCIENCE.

It gets out eventually, and the crew tries to tease Buggy for it ((even though they didn't tease Shanks, and the redhead Will Remember That)). The guys ask if Buggy likes them bc he wants to be a princess, to which Shanks goes surprisingly nuclear, going on about how if Buggy was ANYONE'S princess, he'd be HIS because the princesses are smart, brave, strong and beautiful, and their knights need someone to be the brains and drive. Buggy is the brains and Shanks is his knight. Pirate princess and pirate knight!!

A few hours later, once he has successfully calmed Buggy down and Captain has punished everyone for bullying his kids, Shanks has the BRILLIANT idea of getting "married".

"Princesses can be flashy, but the warrior queen from the last book was SO COOL and I think you'd make a better queen than a princess because queens are SUPER SMART and lovely and strong and just like you!"

"You think so...?"

"Mmhm! So we just gotta make you a queen! How do princesses become queens?"

"Don't they get married?"

"Oh yeah! Then let's be married! That way you can be MY queen and I'll be YOUR king!"

They sneak into the treasury, looking for rings. There are none - at least, none that would fit. ((Shanks stole one for Buggy when they get bigger)). So they decide to do the next best thing!

They drag Roger onto the next island, make rings out of dandelions, have him officiate, and marry each other with flower rings so they're king and queen now. Then they make a wish on the dandelions.

They consider it their Real Marriage. It was officiated and everything, and they still refer to each other as Husbands ((or Wife when Buggy's feeling more femme)), and everyone is absolutely flabbergasted when it comes up in conversation.

Shanks lost his band when he gave his arm up for Luffy, but Buggy sent an 'anonymous' gift with a replacement. He wears it on a necklace now.

Buggy wears his ring on a necklace as well, or sewn into the inside of his hat or in a jewelry box he keeps under lock and key, depending on the day.

The breakup they had post-execution was smoothed over, they have an open marriage, and they still love one another in the sweetest, most cavity inducing way imaginable.

((PS, Luffy, once crowned King, mentions to Shanks that he was the closest he had to a dad. While Shanks I'd emotional, Luffy grins at Buggy and goes "so should I call you mom or dad?"))

Shooting me would've been less painful than reading this because now I am sobbing crying and shaking on the floor and I will never forget this. The whole concept about Buggy loving to read and Shanks doing it for him always makes me go insane, but the crew making fun of Buggy and Shanks protecting him without hesitating? Not even once? And telling him that they should get married? Okay. Wow. Okay. I need a second. Because this is just,,, So sweet. And Roger and Rayleigh would literally die when they told them about the idea. Like they would probably have a tiny heart attack from how cute these kids are. Rayleigh would probably go "Isn't it a bit too soon? Think about it first you idiots-" but Roger is already planning everything because his impulsive romantic ass can't wait for his kids to get married lmfao. Also, non-binary/genderfluid Buggy my beloved because me too, Buggy, me too.

[guardianspirits13]

Ok now for a list of things that I'm kind of iffy about or wish they had kept from the books. It's worth noting that I can't think of a single show exclusive scene they added that I did not like, and most of the changes were integrated flawlessly.

Starting out, the pacing. I'm hoping this gets better with time, especially given that the second episode has much more time to breathe. The whole first episode felt a little cramped, and some of the exposition felt a bit... exposition-y. I don' t think there is much they could have done to get around this though so I'm not gonna dwell on it.

As a fan of the series, I love how they introduced the structure and function of the PJO world with the intro, but I think the jump from "Percy sees things" to "everything is all real" felt a bit abrupt. I am curious what first time fans think about this, and again the first episode covers a lot more ground page-wise than ep 2.

Manchild Gabe... I am not sure how I feel about this. In the books he seemed downright threatening and even with Percy's 12yo bravado, he was still an intimidating figure. His bickering with Sally seemed more like your typical dysfunctional relationship than a power imbalance... both can be harmful in their own way, but I'm still undecided on how much giving Sally a bit more agency in her relationship with him effects the larger story. The whole "not all monsters look like monsters" thing works well in the books with Gabe, but I guess they were redirecting it to foreshadow Luke's betrayal? I'm not sure.

...which brings me to Sally. I was unsure about the casting, but she has earned her stay to me. I always imagined her as a bit more subdued, especially with the more intense iterations of Gabe. She's kind and gentle and has a rebellious streak, but as worried as she might be for Percy she hides it inside of herself. I think her being a bit more expressive as a character works in this setting though, especially since we aren't seeing her through Percy's kid colored lenses. She feels a bit less like the perfect, kind, and understanding mother Percy sees, and a bit more like a real-life single mother trying to keep some of that childhood wonder alive despite everything. She does seem younger than I would have expected, but that's a nitpick on my end. I think she is one character that I will always have a separate book/show counterpart for in my mind.

Ok. Now for Clarisse. Out of all the characters I was skeptic about, I think she's the only one who didn't win me over. This is a writing issue, nothing at all to do with the actress. She was characterized more as a 'queen bee' type mean girl than a bully who picks fights just to feel worthy of her father's approval. She would be better fit for a vindictive daughter of Aphrodite than a daughter of Ares. My mind might be changed in the future but we got most of her scenes in these first two episodes so I'm doubtful. The one moment that had potential was when Percy broke her spear, but the Clarisse I know would not back off just because there is an audience.

There was no hellhound... I was kinda looking forward to it, and it does emphasize that even camp isn't really safe for Percy and is a catalyst for both his quest and the idea that there is a traitor. I can kind of see why the cut it for thematic purposes so Percy feels safe for once in his life, but that's only if I squint.

The scene cuts. I know, I know they're supposed to mimic book chapters. I get it. But it just doesn't work for me, it feels like there's a lack of establishing shots and the black screen is long enough you think the tv is buffering. It's an interesting idea in concept, but the execution falls flat.

OH also as far as things that were missing- the 3 fates. I know this is in the show since it was in the trailers, but I'm curious as to where they're gonna put it now.

Anyways minor nitpicks aside these two episodes were an emotional roller coaster and absolute masterpieces of television cinema.

[dutchdread]

Hey Dutch what is your opinion on crises core reunion ? I had few ca tell me it didn’t do anything for zack and aerith relationship it just made things worse ? I don’t know we’re they get that belief from but it’s there opinion. Did you think the story was ok and gave good context on what they mean to each other?

People give too much flack to Crisis Core. I only played the original CC back on the PSP so I can't say anything about whether or not Reunion made it better or worse, but I enjoyed the original. But part of that is because I simply had lower expectations for portable games than I do for AAA pc or console titles. I won't deny that the game has a bunch of stuff that could have been done better (Cough, genesis, cough), but it had its strong points as well. I think some of the basic concepts of Crisis Core are good in principle, like theme of hopes and dreams, and watching how Zack through adversity unwillingly becomes the hero that he always wanted to be. But the execution was often lacking. I love the idea of watching a several friends slowly break, and I think there is potential in tying that story into them being "monsters" and exploring what it really means to be a monster vs being a hero. But again. The way it was handled made it rather ridiculous and overly obtuse. The constant quoting of Loveless, ESPECIALLY without it ever getting a clear meaning that allows the player to connect with it, Angeals random dramatic self-pity, and a bunch of other stuff just made it so that storywise a lot of the bad overshadowed the good. But I played CC for Zack and Aerith, and they were perfect in my opinion.I loved seeing Aerith like an actual 16 year old girl and how her time with Zack rubbed off on her and caused her to start living every day to the fullest. I still think that the scene with Aerith hugging Zack from behind is one of the most romantic scenes in FF, simply because of how viscerally real it is. Her trying to make small talk, him just being there, choosing to mourn in the presence of the woman he loves, not needing to be consoled, but just needing her presence. And then that hug "sometimes you don't need words to tell a person how you're feeling" indeed. This is also a part of the reason I am convinced Aerith was still projecting Zack onto Cloud at the end of Rebirth "our place", "the church", Yeah right. For Cloud and Aerith the church is just a place they happened to spend about 5 minutes at one point, not even the place they met. Meanwhile Zack went there to see her for I think about one and a half years. He goes there instantly in intergrade, he goes there in Rebirth, we see him waiting there for Aerith at the end of rebirth, the core visual for Crisis core was changed to TAKE PLACE IN THE CHURCH. But the Church is Cloud and Aeriths place.....yeah right. Either that is an intentional hint that Aerith is still projecting, or the writing has fallen off a cliff. Then we have the other character moments, Cloud and Tifa pining for each other, the parallels between Cloti and Zerith. Zack promising Aerith he'll come for her underneath the water tower. And my favorite Aeriths "23 tiny little wishes", all encompassed in the one with to "spend more time with Zack". Which is then ultimately fulfilled via Cloud in the OG/rebirth. And then of course there is the ending, my favorite ending of any game ever aside from Nier:Automata. Man I bawled my eyes out. So yeah, I like Crisis Core, it's messy, but it's messy with a lot of gold in it, and for a portable title I think that's not half bad.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

was thinking about this since there's the action duel event in duel links, what's your opinion on the action duels in the actual arc-v anime?

OH THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION i looove action duels. i love a funny Spinoff Series Duel Gimmick, i think theyre so SO fun. but also like everything else in arc-v action duels are....hm. it's very 'the concept here kicks ass but the actual execution in show is DETERMINED to throw itself off a cliff" LMAO

LIKE THEYRE SO COOL ON PAPER. AND FOR LIKE ALL OF SEASON 1. youve got this natural progression of Solid Vision where the sets and the monsters have physical mass to them and are also kind of alive but dont worry about it, you can climb around on shit and RIDE YOUR MONSTERS!!! and duck and weave and explore and it's so fuckin cool, it's got such a crazy kinetic energy to it that just entrances me. I didn't realize until literally like a couple days ago that the Japanese game show influence is HUGE wrt the way duelists navigate Action Fields and scramble to grab Action Cards and such and it's such a such a fun vibe to bring to the ever-evolving depiction of this insane card game. It's like if a yugioh duel was also Wipeout but was also an old Nickelodeon kids' game show but was also the battle at the beginning of a pkmn movie but was also an old crash bandicoot game. fucking obsessed with them

And the Action Fields in season 1, these critical Duel Settings, are also just especially so cool, and it's frustrating that after that point we kind of just Dont Get Action Fields until literally the last few duels in the series. 'Crossover' is barely an Action Field let's be so real. It turns the immediate area into a platforming minigame but it is not nearly on the level of MASS SWORD GRAVE DUEL FIELD or TURN PARADISE CITY INTO ZOOTOPIA DUEL FIELDS.

and i think that's kind of just another unfortunate element of how much the wheels on arc-v's quality/storytelling start falling off by mid season 2 and 3. it's like seeing budget cuts in real time. we can't do Cool Volcano Field anymore. get on the Bland Floating Platforms.

at least we'll always have yuya's hippo showgirls

but anyway. i think the one (1) big issue Action Duels have, and the one thing about them that has me a bit Agonized watching action duels is the GODDAMN ACTION CARDS. FOR SOME REASON THE WAY DUEL LINKS IMPLEMENTED THEM IS LIKE LEAPS AND BOUNDS BETTER THAN IT IS IN THE SHOW. Like the way in DL you have to carefully pick out your 3 Action cards, they have to fit the 10 point quota the game gives you, they need to work With your deck and not Critically Carry Your Deck and Your Ass, I wish all of that was how they were in the anime!! Would make things more interesting!!

Cuz like in the show it's more 'ok random burst of Action Cards is scattered on the field' which could be cool but then the writing doesn't do anything remotely unique with them 90% of the time. They're like the Plot Crutch of all time in-show. It really just has this vibe of "it doesnt matter if your dueling sucks if you just grab the asspull action card that's in every single action duel that just Makes Your Opponents' Attack Miss" and thats just what Yuya does for like. every action duel he's in. other people have talked more eloquently about it but you really kind of realize just how BAD Yuya is at dueling when you sit and look at duels he won because he pulled the Convenient Ass-Saving Action Spell at the last minute and not because of anything he did with his dueling ability. And I do love me some Yugioh Plot Ass Pulls but here it just never feels earned... just like a bunch of other shit in arc-v HJDFGSDF. it just feels like the writers backing themselves into a corner and popping an Evasion Ex Machina. I Am So Goddamn Tired of Seeing Evasion. Miracle is Also On Thin Ice

THERE JUST HAD TO HAVE BEEN BETTER WAYS THEY COULD HAVE IMPLEMENTED THIS FEATURE. like idk make action cards more like speed spells in 5ds where theyre already IN your deck. or. or. oh the world if action cards in the show were more like a Chopped Basket where you get a set random selection of them predetermined before the duel and then characters have to really figure out how to use them creatively to help bolster their deck. life could be a dream

tl;dr I LIKE ACTION DUELS A LOT AND I THINK THEYRE SOME OF THE MOST FUN 'GIMMICK' YUGIOH DUELS. BUT WHY DID THEY MAKE ACTION CARDS LIKE THAT wish they were used in a more interesting way!! wish we got to see more insane duel fields past season one!! really curious to see how theyre handled in the arc-v manga. yugo stuck in the volcano field to look at if you dont like my posts

[theastrical]

HII OMG IM NEW TO YOUR PAGE AND I HAVE TO SAY I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE SM! 🫶🫶 after stalking your page a bit I was kinda interested if you could write a fic with Akaashi x fem!reader where they are both married with kid/s (number of kid/s are up to you! Also you may make up your own name for the kid/s if you wish to mention them) and reader isn’t the best at her mom duties and whenever she tries to execute anything like cleaning or cooking it always ends up as a mess so Akaashi will have to take over for her. After a while the kids would start to prefer Akaashi more since he does most of reader’s work better and it makes the reader a little more insecure. For the ending could you do like how Akaashi would comfort reader after finding out about her insecurities about being a mom? Sorry if it’s pretty long and specific 😅😅 I’ve had this brainrot in my heads for days and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since 😭😭

(BONUS: TOTALLY OPTIONAL BUT I JUST GOT THIS IDEA AS I WAS WRITING THIS REQUST BUT IF YOU COULD ADD A SCENE WHERE SOME OTHER MOMS/PEOPLE START JUDGING READER FOR HER LACK OF ABILITIES IT WOULD BE MYCH APPRECIATED BUT YOU CAN CHOOSE TO IGNORE THIS IF IT RUINS THE CREATIVE FLOW IN YOUR BRAIN 🫶🫶🫶)

Sorry this is a total mess of a request I hope you still follow! ❤️ tysm for your time and effort! ❤️❤️

imperfection is your best trait

synopsis: it’s been quite sometimes since you and akaashi have been gifted a child, it was your peak moment of realisation that you are going to be a “mother”. Yet, it has been hard for you not to messed up even during the smallest task because the pressure of being the perfect role model for your child and surroundings, how can akaashi comfort you in this moment as a father, but also as a husband..?

Akaashi Keiji x fem!reader

hurt/comfort, fluff, slight angst

ps: this is akaashi post timeskip. also before hand, thank you so so much for requesting such an idea!! It’s so pretty and interesting to write hehehe. There are twist to your request which i hope you don’t mind (still is the same as to your idea dw!), hope you enjoy reading this

Morning was once your favorite day. Night was once your least favorite. Either from the fact that night was once dark and luminous or that morning was the time where keiji and you spent more time with each other; which nowadays are opposed to what you were once believed in. Night is your reason to stay sane within the pressure of being a good mother…and a great wife. Because it’s new…it’s very new to you, who’s already used to the work-life and new to the concept of motherhood.

You were cooking food and preparing a bento for akaashi. It was a surely nice day-predicted by you. No burden to deal with…just making a bento for keiji and…dealing with your child who has been making unwanted burdens for you. But hey, this is your now job. Who cares if you scream for help, because neighbors will think you aren’t doing your job and instead just complaining. Who cares if you slowly lose the enjoyment and love to your own child because of society pressure? Nobody! And really…it’s because you never want akaashi to know how inferior you felt when your child picks him over you just because….”mama food taste too salty…i don’t like it!! Papa food taste aweeesomeeee!!” Or that time in the past where you were carrying your child to the playground and she suddenly says something alongside…”i wish papa is here..mama is boring..”.

because if keiji knew…what will be worth of you?

he’s marrying somebody that isn’t competent.

suddenly the neighbor voice disrupt your flow. Your hands trembling as you dreamt about that day. That same day you heard about their jealousy..insecurity, all targeted towards you.

and akaashi’s bad luck just for marrying you.

“look at that girl, she looks all messed up! I wonder if her household is also as messy as she is!”

i’m messy because i’m playing with my child! I’ve been playing with her all day because i’m all she has!; Your thoughts replied.

“Hahaha look at her child, crying all day just because she didn’t make her favorite food, i wonder if she’s even present in their life?”

if i’m not there, my husband would’ve been ill since day 1 and my child is sick!! That’s why i’m only mak—

“her husband worth more than her…”

you can only remember the same words over and over again. Your heart rate gets higher and disruptive-your adrenaline combust. You look around you, trying to remember….what am i doing? why everything fell apart just like that..?

why am i still here..?

“excuse me miss are you listening..?” The sound of the nurse suddenly scheme through your earlobes. It seems you forgot your place, you forgot where you are, and most importantly…You forgot what matter are you here for.

You’re inside the hospital because of your own mistake as a mother; your own child, worsening day by day because of an illness-dismissed by your own self as a normal cold (spoiler alert, it’s not). It just kept worsening until you realise that you barely care for the symptoms your child was suffering through, you just thought it’s a simple cold because it’s what your child think as well.

As a guardian, as a mother; aren’t you supposed to be the one to make sure everything is well..? Then why are you here? Because you’re a new mother? No. That’s not an excuse, you’re a mother now. It’s your job to make sure all goes well.

but…if i don’t agree with my own child and how she thinks. she will hate me. She will thinks i’m a know it all. I don’t want her to hate me. I don’t want her to dislike me. I want her to love me the same as her father. To trust me. She’s still a child. She doesn’t know how to sympathise with me. I’m just a mother.

The cycle didn’t stop until you fully breakdown, your mind is filled with no more than thoughts of giving up. You held onto your child’s palm, your sobbing gets more louder as you sniffle-“I’m sorry…i’m so sorry…i’ll make sure to be a better mother…i’m listening towards everything but…i-…i’m so sorry, thank you for helping us…” you replied with dozens of sniffs coming into your way. You kept your hand onto your child’s palm, never to leave it…to remind you-

“….[name]..?” Oh, that’s keiji’s voice.

“K-keiji..?” You immediately gaze at him. Your eyes already wet and red by this point, the stress on your face is visible enough as it is. You still wanted to greet him, at least with a smile, you already look too miserable-even the nurses have been pitying you for hours now and…yet, here you are, on the chair beside your child’s sleeping state, trying your best to keep your emotion intact, trying your best to smile even when it hurts like hell. “K-kei—“

He runs towards you and hugged you. His whole arm lingering upon your back, the warmth of his body immediately sets upon your cold sweats.

“don’t smile….it will hurt more…feelings are harder to fix than physical problems, you know?…” he soothes your back and kisses your cheeks. “do you need a moment?”

the tension immediately drops…your heart can’t bare it in any longer. You know you’re safe…because keiji, your keiji, is your safe place.

“i’m so tired keiji….i’m just so tired…everything fell down all at once, our child got here and….” You paused. “Everybody…thinks i’m not good enough, at least for you and…our darling..”

“one because…i can’t keep the family perfect…two because…i’m imperfect…and three…nobody sees me the way you do…even our daughter, sees you better than me..”

“how come can i be perfect..? This is all i have of me..”

he paused for a moment before looking at your eyes, the view of his emerald eyes left a certain…tinge of comfort. “Because it’s all you have…because it’s you…no matter what you do, it feels like i’m at home.” He replies shortly. His fingers start to soothe your cheeks in circle.

“the comfort you’ve given for me…the nights you’ve sacrificed for our little girl…the pride you have for being a mother…and lastly, your ability to stay on your feet. That is more than a human can do.” He smiles warmly at you, bopping your nose at the process. “You’re more than what i’m worth for…you’re everything.” He silently caresses your cheeks before continuing. “Being a mother and a wife at the same time is hard. Imperfection is normal. And lastly…our daughter knows your good and bad the most, our daughter knows your good and bad better than how she knows me…”

“she knows me as a father…somebody who brings her favorite onigiri everyday.” He chuckles slightly at his own comment. “But…she knows you as a mother, her best friend, and her teacher.”

“As a child, it’s scary to be taught, all you want to do is receive good deeds….all you want to do is play. But you’re here as her mother, teaching her good and bad, but at the same time love her equally even with how naughty she is sometimes heh.” He pats your head. “Making a mistake is always normal..it’s your first and life, might as well enjoy what’s to come, right?”

you don’t know how words can explain how much his existence meant for you. How much his words made you feel a hopeful future, even when you faced your darkest nightmare. Keiji is here, to help you, to be the husband he had vowed to be. He just kept on patting your head, making circles around your cheeks, making sure your heart stays stable, making sure that your tears have stop flowing.

and suddenly, you hear…

“mama….mama…..” your child has awakened from her deep sleep, her hand tugging onto your shirt…making sure you won’t leave her alone. “im sorry….please don’t leave me…not when papa isn’t here with us…” and that realization hits you like crazy. It’s insane that even the slightest word can change everything.

keiji replied with a short scoff, as if to say that he’s right all along.

“don’t worry, mama’s here…” you smiled warmly as your tears turn into another stain on your clothes. Leaving your eyes and cheeks, remarking a happy turn out of the event.

ps: hello anon!! Thank you so much for requesting this idea! I hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoy writing it hehehehe. See you soon in your future/next request if you’ve ever had one! <33

to request, please check the request requirements and send your request to my ask box.

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Overture

. While I am being kind to the show as it is, I cannot push out of my mind the fact that this is still Vivienne Medrano, and while this seems to be an interesting direction the series is considering to take the story, I am lacking any intrigue. Medrano has a knack for interesting ideas, but once executed are often trimmed down from all nuance and then played in the most straight forward and storybook fashion.

Evil existed before and separate from Lucifer

Eve is linked to the root of evil through the animation

Dichotomy of Lilith and Lucifer

Why does Heaven think Hell will rise up?

Charlie is reading the storybook to herself. Aloud. And the reason is because she’s like a child seeking comfort. Also Charlie’s delivery of “Pretty worked up” is just feeling off. Like isn’t this supposed to be a somber moment? Why is it delivered so chipper? The pilot had her crying and singing a lamentation. Downgrade.

Info dump dialogue

“This kingdom was something she really cared about.”

Vaggie’s voice is such a downgrade. She sounds so uninterested.

“Daddy issues by fixing you” So alastor knows about Charlie’s family situation already.

The lineart around Alastor is so distracting. It’s so bizarrely thick.

I wish there was no dialogue

Her dad calls her but she is supposed to have a strained relationship.

I feel like Medrano doesn’t know what Angel Dust is. As in the actual drug. PCP is not Cocaine.

That was the worst segue into a song I ever saw.

“If you dont mind the smell, it’s a happy day in hell.” I hate this line.

Vaggie just never sounds right, does she? Her singing is so nasal dominate it doesn’t sound like her throaty modal voice.

What was the contract? What did it say? Why even have Charlie sign anything if we have no concept of what that is? It is such a rip off from Ariel’s contract in the Little Mermaid that it feels more like an Easter egg than relevant to the story actively being told. You need to show why the actions happening are taking place, you cant just do things and expect us to pick up the pieces for you. Are you trying to get across that Heaven is full of bureaucracy and paperwork? There is no receptionist and no other person in the building until she signs ONE paper. You failed at portraying an overabundance of bureaucratic red tape and it is distracting and infuriating. All I see are the better DISNEY MOVIES that were clearly just plagiarized. Not an homage, not inspired. Plagiarized.

Lucifer calls Charlie to meet Adam. Adam says he knows. So this doesn’t feel like this is Charlie filling in, the way the dialogue is written is that it was specifically planned for Charlie to meet Adam.

Everything has a gradient.

I bet $15 that the Dickmaster portion of Adam’s dialogue was Alex Brightman’s improv. I was not impressed by his Kaiju Dick improv in Oops and this is just as flaccid. Pun intended.

There is a clear discccrepency in talent between Alex and Erika. He has such a smoother voice and range while Erika feels like a Disney understudy where every delivery is pretty much identical to the last. Like the songs themselves are not doing her any favors. They range from bad to mediocre, and even in the better songs, there is always one horrifically bad lyric that just ruins the entire experience.

I like Lute. She feels like Peridot.

RIP Katie Killjoy.

Nifty is cute. The joke for her had a lot of potential of being hilarious but didn’t meet my threshold of comedy due to lacking a feel for Nifty. Imagine if she was in every scene with Vaggie talking her head off and never shutting up. Then when Vaggie is like, “If anyone can sell this hotel, it’s Nifty.” And we had this foundation that Nifty is known for being a huge chatterbox only to then be dead silent when the camera is on her. It would have been hilarious. But we see her once and she has one singular line previous. So it just feels like a cheap visual gag.

As a musical, it is lackluster. I see that Evil is something separate from Lucifer and something he dislikes. Lucifer is said to see free will as a spring of creativity, but humans used it to suck and that killed Lucifer’s love of life. In the meantime, Lilith is empowered by Hell. Hell fuels her sense of freedom, which she spreads through her “songs”. Only for her to just vanish I guess. She just hopes out without a word, Charlie says she must be doing something important over the last 7 years, but no inclination on what important things Lilith would be doing. Additionally, Lilith is said to have loved Hell, like Charlie. So it sets up this idea that Lucifer dislikes Hell or even hates it, while Lilith revels in it. Alluding to their marriage falling apart from this dissonance. At the same time, Lucifer calls Charlie to meet with Heaven, despite the pilot being canon. So we get the impression that Charlie and Lucifer had a falling out (“Maybe dad was right.”) but she doesn’t have much more than surprise at her father calling. Then he just sets up this meeting for her to meet with Adam off screen entirely. It is unclear how this was conveyed, but Lucifer doesn’t believe in Charlie and her meeting Adam has nothing at all to do with her hotel.

But the way Adam talks about the meeting is unusual in that it gives the impression that it wasn’t about Charlie “filling in”, but that this whole meeting was specifically set for Charlie and Adam. This is compounded by how the ending reads like they didn’t know if the angel was dead until that moment. So the extermination being moved up has nothing to do with the angel’s death. Maybe I’m wrong, but this all feels really disjointed.

But Lute really is just Peridot. So much so that when asked what I liked about the episode, I literally said “Peridot”, not Lute. The one good aspect of this episode is another stolen concept from a better show with a more competent creator. But I also like Alex Brightman’s singing. He is very talented and he does elevate the material by really playing with his delivery, but it’s still at best Mid due to the weak lyrics,

3/10

[cartoonrankings]

10 Cartoons With The Best Racial Diversity

Diversity is important in cartoons, and while racial diversity has been done well a lot for a while, I am happy to say that it is continuing to be done more and executed in a better fashion as time goes on! Today, I will be discussing what are, in my opinion, the 10 cartoons with the best racial diversity.

10. OK KO! Let’s be Heroes

Kicking off the list with a series that was also featured in my list counting down the cartoons with the best LGBTQ representation! OK KO! Let’s be Heroes had many awesome instances of racial representation throughout as well. A good portion of characters all have different races, which is amazing to see! While many shows do have different races between characters, one thing that separated OK KO! Let’s be Heroes from the rest was one episode called “No More Pow Cards”, in which KO’s friend Dendy feels that she will never be a hero due to the fact that her turtle race has been viewed as monsters. Due to this, these cards that KO and Dendy collect do not represent Dendy’s race. However, instead of just letting that happen, KO and Dendy confront the CEO. When seeing Dendy, the CEO sees that some of the Kappa are heroic, and due to this, he finally allows Kappa cards to be made. This episode was one of the main standouts to me, but aside from that, the series does stand strong in the field of representation!

OK KO! Let’s Be Heroes was a Cartoon Network series that ran from 2017 to 2019 for a total of 3 seasons and 112 episodes. The series was about Kaio Kincaid, also known as K.O. who hopes to become the world’s greatest hero. While hoping to accomplish this, he works at a store known as Gar’s Hero Supply and Bodega, which sells a variety of items, whether that be food, or even hero supplies. He works alongside two other employees known as Radicles and Enid. Oftentimes, the trio have to fight off Boxmore, a store that sells items to supervillains. OK KO: Let’s Be Heroes! is an amazing series with a unique artstyle, interesting characters and a great concept! It is definitely an amazing series that is racially diverse, and just a good series in general!  You can watch OK KO! Let’s be Heroes on HBO Max or Hulu!

9. The Hollow

Now, we move onto another show that I feel is quite underrated! The Hollow was a series which had a diverse main cast, all having a different race. Furthermore, the characters all feel normal, and they do not act differently based on their race, making them all feel more human. Having almost every main character different worked very well for me because it just felt that the series had the goal of showing people that different groups can get along well regardless of race. This series was one that was made in Canada, and in Canada, diverse groups like the one in The Hollow is very common.

The Hollow was a series running from 2018 to 2020 for a total of 2 seasons and 20 episodes. The series takes place in a strange world, where three teenagers named Adam, Mira and Kai all wake up. The three do not have any memories, and all they have at the time they wake up are each other. Due to this, the three work together to explore this new world, and to find their way back to their home (wherever their home is). However, they soon find that this world is not all that they think it is. The Hollow was a great series to me. Alongside its highlights, I loved the worldbuilding present in the series. Furthermore, the darker colors really stood out to me! It really matches with the feel of the show! It was definitely a fun series, and I do wish Netflix treated it better! You can watch The Hollow on Netflix!

8. The Loud House

Now, the Loud House is definitely another series that has to be mentioned if talking about diversity! The series has a lot of diversity among the different characters, from the Loud’s being a family with a Scottish Heritage, Lincoln’s best friend being African-American, and another family somewhat close to the Loud’s, the Santiago’s are Mexican! Furthermore, the series is a great representation of how different families can be as they have different struggles that they face, and different circumstances overall. The Loud House may have a bit of a negative reputation these days, but diversity is one thing it did well!

The Loud House is a series that is currently running on Nickelodeon. It has been a Nickelodeon hit series since 2016, and it has so far had 6 seasons consisting of 156 episodes. The series revolves around the Loud family, a family of 10 sisters and one single brother. The show is mostly focused on the brother, Lincoln, with some episodes focusing on certain sisters. The sisters, from oldest to youngest are Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lily. Each of them have their own unique quirk, whether that be being good at a sport (Lynn), being a great musician (Luna), or even being filthy (Lana). The family often go through different sorts of adventures, some of which being adventures that most everyday families go through, with others being a bit more quirky than your average real life family. While the series is mostly episodic, there is some change as the series goes on, but none of these changes are huge. The Loud House has a lot to love! I love how there are so many characters, but all have unique quirks to set them apart, I love the comic book art style and I love the wholesomeness it has! While it is not as good as it was when it first aired, The Loud House is still pretty great to me! You can watch The Loud House on Netflix!

7. The Ghost and Molly McGee

I’m sure someone expected a Disney show in here somewhere seeing how I am obsessed with Disney, and I had to have The Ghost and Molly McGee in here somewhere! Now, this series was a standout to me because it includes a bi-racial main character who is half Irish and half Thai. The series is great at representing what our current society looks like - a mix of all sorts of races and religions. In fact, there was a whole episode where Molly was confused on her heritage, and was trying to find out where she truly belongs. Furthermore, while this is not direct, the ghost and Molly’s friendship symbolizes inclusiveness to me. The reason for this is because the two are clearly different in terms of their backgrounds, but once they meet, Molly is excited to have a friend, which shows kids that having friends that are not similar to you doesn’t have to be scary, and it can even be exhilarating!

The Ghost and Molly McGee is a series which aired first in 2021 on Disney, and is still airing! The series is about a 13 year old girl named Molly, who alongside her family moves to a rusty old house. Little did they know that this house has been inhabited by a ghost. Now, unlike most teenage girls, Molly wants to be his friend. He puts a curse on Molly, but that only brings them closer together! While he does not like Molly at first, he slowly opens up to her as well, and they eventually become good friends! Now, there is a lot to love about The Ghost and Molly Mcgee! Firstly, I love the designs and the brighter colors the show has. Furthermore, I love how vibrant the characters are! While The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is one of my less preferred shows from Disney’s more recent hits, I still have lots of love for it and hope it succeeds! You can watch The Ghost and Molly McGee on Disney +!

6. Amphibia

Now, I had to include this somewhere as it definitely has great representation for a variety of different races! The three main friend group consists of three girls, all of a different race - one of which being Thai, one being German and one being Taiwanese. Outside of the three main girls, many of the human characters are also represented through different races, which can be seen with the girl's classmates or even their principal. Amphibia has definitely done well with the representation, and they have shown how a normal society is with different races of people interacting with others, and not just sticking to one race in the series, like some do.

Amphibia is a series running from 2019 to 2022 on Disney, and has had a total of 3 seasons and 58 episodes through its runtime. The series revolves around Anne Boonchuy, a middle schooler, who steals a box with her friends Sasha and Marcy. However, they were in for a bit of a surprise. The box was actually a magic box, and once they stole it, they were transported to a new world, which is known as Amphibia. Amphibia differs from their regular world because it is full of frogs. When waking up in this new land, Anne realizes that she has been separated from her friends. Now, she must go on a quest to not only get back home, but to find them along the way to take them with her. She is originally found by a frog named Sprig, who came with the purpose of hunting her. However, after he finds her, they become good friends, and Anne moves in with them temporarily. However, along with meeting new friends like Sprig, she also runs into quite a few obstacles. Now, Amphibia is truly one of my favorite shows! I love everything from the characters to the humor to just the concept of middle school students getting sent to a frog world! It is definitely a great show, and I am glad to have found it! You can watch Amphibia on Disney Plus!

5. 6Teen

6Teen was another Canadian series that accurately captured Canada’s feel. In Canada, we have such a diverse range of people, and we get to see so many people mix around and mingle. In 6Teen, we have a mixture of different races among the main six characters, and we have the different background characters all from different ethnic groups. Seeing this accurately represented in a TV series was great, and it made me connect with the different characters.

6Teen was a series which ran from 2004 to 2010 for a total of 4 seasons and 93 episodes. It is about 6 teens who are 6teen! The teenagers go by the names of Wyatt, Jude, Jen, Caitlin, Jonesy and Nikki. They all just go through typical teenager situations that we all have been through, with some definitely being more insane than others! These situations are all that I am sure that we can relate to, whether that be the pressure of making money, the pressure of school, the pressure to impress a crush, you name it! Now, 6Teen is definitely a loveable series! Some of the standout attributes for me are the raunchy humor that was not overdone, the relatability and the development of certain characters (especially Caitlin). 6Teen is definitely an amazing series, and the diversity was a highlight! You can watch 6Teen on the YouTube channel Retro Rerun or on Tubi!

4. Detentionaire

I previously mentioned an underrated show, but now, we will be talking about what I think is the most underrated show! Detentionaire is a pretty unique show when it comes to diversity. The show takes place in a high school, and the different cliques that the school has is similar to cliques you would find in real life. Furthermore, the school has a bunch of different races and ethnicities mixing along. While many of the different characters in these cliques seem like stereotypes in the first few episodes, the series illustrates how while someone may seem shallow from surface level, they have much more to them. While the series is mainly focused on the main character, some background characters get shine on them, and we learn much more about them than we thought they had. Detentionaire did a great job at illustrating that all sorts of people are more than what we think they are, and that all people do go through different circumstances.

Detentionaire revolves around a highschooler named Lee, who on his first day of school, gets framed for a huge prank, and gets a year of detention for this. With some help from his friends, he goes on a quest to clear his name by investigating different students and cliques. However, early on, he realizes that whatever is going on is more than the prank. Instead, he finds out that the prank was just a small set piece that connects to this huge government level conspiracy. He is not the only person who has a connection to this conspiracy - his parents do as well! Due to his connection, he realizes that the whole world may be at stake unless he does something. Now, Detentionaire is so great that I do not know where to start - firstly, I would say that the characters all feel like what you would see at an actual high school, and as they open up, it makes them all feel very real. Furthermore, I love the plot progression - the show really starts with a prank in episode one, and by the final episode, he is trying to stop an ancient pyramid from opening up as an ancient species is inside, waiting to take over Earth. Finally, the mystery itself was a pleasure to watch as it had so much depth to it, and each answered question would open up many new questions! Detentionaire is one of my favorite shows, and I could go on forever talking about how amazing it is! You can watch Detentionaire on the YouTube channel Retro Rerun, or on Tubi!

3. Glitch Techs

Now that we already have a Nickelodeon show down, I might as well add another one to the list! Glitch Techs was another series that had great diversity! The series had two main characters, with one being a Mexican American, and the other one being a Japanese-American. The Glitch Techs (which is the name of the group as a whole) has a lot of members of different races, whether that be Zahra, who is an Arab-American girl that actually wears a hijab, or the Leader, Mitch, who is a Black British male. Now, I brought up these two in particular because they really stood out to me. I do not usually see characters represent their religion by wearing hijabs in animated TV shows, so it was amazing to see! Furthermore, I have watched lots of cartoons, and it’s rare for me to see a black character leading a group, which I always found sad as they are underrepresented! Seeing this in Glitch Techs made me really happy!

Glitch Techs is about two teenagers named Hector and Miko. The two often work together to stop “glitches”, which are video game characters that leave the game and try causing havoc on their world. Now, there is a lot to love about Glitch Techs, whether that be the concept alone, the vibrant and as I mentioned earlier, diverse characters, or the amazing designs that the series uses! Glitch Techs is an amazing series, and it truly deserved better from Nickelodeon! I hope that one day, it gets the continuation it deserves! You can watch Glitch Techs on Netflix!

2. Dead End: Paranormal Park

Now, I recently started Dead End: Paranormal Park, and I have to say that in the field of representation, it is spectacular! The series has a variety of characters of different races. For instance, the main character Barney is white, while his best friend/co-worker Norma is Pakistani. Through the series, there are many other characters coming from different races such as his boyfriend Logan, who is Vietnamese. Another thing that makes the diversity powerful to me is that each of the characters are being played by a person who is the same race as that character, which, to me, is going above and beyond to contribute to a diverse environment. Many shows do not do this, but Dead End: Paranormal Park stood out for this.

Dead End: Paranormal Park is a Netflix original that originally aired early this year for a season of 10 episodes, with plans for a second season to come out soon. Dead End: Paranormal Park revolves around Barney and Norma who were recently hired at a new theme park that is actually haunted. However, aside from being actually haunted, there is actually some big lore that is being built upon. From the first scene itself, we see Pauline Phoenix, the actress who the park is based off, get killed. This indicates what there is to come! Dead End: Paranormal Park is one of the more recent shows I have checked out, and there is so much greatness the show offers! I love the representation, the color choices they use and the horror elements (I will be rewatching it this Halloween! Dead End: Paranormal Park is a great show with awesome representation, and it is probably my favorite series that came out this year! You can watch Dead End: Paranormal Park on Netflix!

1. Craig of the Creek

I have seen many shows, but in terms of racial diversity, Craig of the Creek is outstanding! The series has had so much when it comes to racial diversity as we get introduced to so many characters of different ethnic groups. For instance, we have the main character, who is African American, but outside of that, we have Indian characters, East Asian characters, you name it! The characters are not only all there and have an important role, but these characters also all embrace their different ethnicities, and the specific cultures that the characters have are mentioned in the series! For instance, one of the Indian characters Raj, had a short dedicated to him and his grandma, where the main character Craig was trying to learn more about their culture. Acts like these go a long way as they encourage children to embrace their culture and to not be ashamed of it. Craig of the Creek also showed how so many different people can become great friends regardless of the ethnicity they are from. The main cast of characters are all so diverse, and instead of running from that diversity, they all embrace it and continue to spend time with each other.

Craig of the Creek is a series that is currently running. It started in 2017, and through its time, it has had a total of 3 seasons with 120 episodes. The series was about a young adventurous boy named Craig, who often goes on different sorts of adventures at this creek he lives near. He is accompanied by his friends Kelsey and JP. The adventures vary from episode to episode. Sometimes, they are more nature-esque in the creek, and sometimes they are more technical. Whatever they are upto though, is always entertaining to see. Now, with me, I love the character designs (with JP being my favorite), I love the characters who bring these designs to life, and I love the wholesome feeling that I get when watching it as it definitely has some touching moments. I am almost caught up with Craig of the Creek, and I have to say I definitely love it from what I have seen! You can watch Craig of the Creek on HBO Max!

So these were the 10 cartoons with the best racial diversity in my opinion! Which ones did you agree with? Disagree with? Would you change anything? And follow me for more cartoon-related blogs!

[ziptie-bouquet]

Signalis is living rent free in my head rn

When you play the cassette and get to that first person section in the train, you can see that on one side the buildings look much newer and well kept than the ones on the other side. It's so simple, but it's one of my favorite bits of environmental storytelling in the game. I fucking love how the game shows you the miserable living conditions of the miners and how it has small details to really illustrate class difference.

I love how it uses "expired" instead of "dead" because "dead" has mostly likely been banned. This is also really simple, and the control of language has been explored in a ton of other dystopias (literally 1984), but I don't know, it's so frightening to see it fully in effect. You see it in paperwork, it's just broadly accepted that the word is gone.

I think an even more horrifying concept is how Falke units are made to look like the dictators of the Nation. Replikas are based on a Gestalt's neural pattern. The very mind of a human worker was used to make an android that has the face of their dictator. That's so fucking scary.

I wish so badly that this game could scare me. It would have been incredible had it executed its "survival horror" aspect better, but god, I love its environmental storytelling so much.

[metanarrates]

Hiii I see you're playing isat!!! As an orv+utena and more recently isat fan this is very exciting. I love your meta posts. How far are you into isat? Spare some of your thoughts so far?

im on act 4 and I've got some mixed opinions on it! as a certified Timeloop Story and Ludonarrative Mechanics enjoyer, I think the execution in those departments is great! as a certified Character Driven Narrative enjoyer... I can see what the author is going for but I don't always think the execution is fantastic. I like a lot of the characters but the humor and prose/narration/dialogue styles are often grating to me, and there's a strong tendency to spell things out that I think the viewer would be better off figuring out for themself. i also tend to wish that some of the interparty character relationships were more nuanced, because theres stuff there that could be interesting but I'm not sure will ever be touched upon.

isat's concept is difficult to pull off well. I have a lot of respect for the author, because I think there's a ton of fantastic ideas in the game and I appreciate the ambition it takes to tackle something like this. however, starting a game like this in media res creates a difficult situation where I'm expected to immediately be invested in these characters as a found family with an entire unseen adventure's worth of bonding behind them, and their relationships so far aren't compelling enough for me to feel that kind of investment. I feel like there's a lot of gesturing at common rpg party tropes and going "you know, they're like this" and while that's fine, i can't help but wish the developers had found a better way to introduce me to their relationships. it ends up feeling a little unintentionally fanficcy.

that said, the mystery and fantasy elements? the spiral that siffrin undergoes while being trapped in a time loop? the grief and unrest underneath everything? super fun. i'm officially hooked on that. I also think loop, mirabelle, and odile are all wonderful characters and I love seeing them on screen! art, game design, and music direction are also A+. it's a great project! i just think it was something that the author might have benefited from a bit more writing experience in order to make it really shine.

[teeth-cable]

Just say your reply and dam let me say it

Nifty makes me so sad shes everything i love in concept yet her execution kills me; she loves cleaning shes a bug and not only that a old timey bad alien movie inspired

I wish this show was actually about the hotel and that she had gotten the "alastor is allowed to not tell us his backstory because we need a season 2 " treatment, if this show actually follow the premise of redemtion Niffty, V and Angel (heh all bugs) would be the most complex ones and satisfecho ones to write about

V even if i prefer she wasend an exorcist if she n camilla carmine were former winners turned exorcist and them fallen we coul have both sides of going to hell

Angel Hess from the mafia! How how you teden that?? Even if he gets his sould how you fix all the blood or family spill! How did Molly did! (Rip my girls desing wtf she has maneged to look bald n hairly??) Just the journey he would have to go tru a looong road, would charlie put him on the back burner? Would that make him have a relapse?? Would he learn Molly make it hell would that be his motivation? Just this man

NIFTY she is conected to Al and im fascinanted to know why he favors her so much, why shes like this do Al know- does she even know? Its this her cope, was she murder or the murderer ?? Was she too a rasing overlord? Its her past the reason ? How does she feel in general honestly shes done so little in the show but i wanna disect her n know why shes like this so bad

Sorry for the rant n probably bad english just had to get that out my sistem at 1 am lol

Niffty was done dirty by the writers, everyone but her, got character development or a moment that hinted to some sort of character depth (Even if it was shallow).

Why the writers decided to reverse the seasons I have no idea. Charlie finding out Heaven is corrupted doesn't work since the plotline hinges on the audience's investment in her reaction and the cast, but why should we? We don't see the cast trying to actively improve themselves and the show repeatedly tells us sinners are the worst. At this point, it makes no sense for the show to continue the hotel premise because we know Heaven is corrupted now. What's the point, when we already know any effort the cast puts towards redemption will be in vain?

The characters are fulled of mystery and great ideas but the show refuses to explore them. I was surprised by the lack of references at their human backstories. The cast's human lives are why they're in hell and the person they are now. Like, how are we supposed to know Husk's cheesy love for magic came from watching the magic shows in the casinos he grew up in????????? That seems like a very important piece of information to know about his character, considering it's one of the few things he still loves. In that one line alone, we learn so much about Husk and why he turned out to be an alcoholic gambler. At the end of the show despite spending time with characters, I feel like I don't know them as much as I should. I don't know their motivations, beside for Al and Angel we don't see them struggling through their flaws (The show has Husk tell us, writing 101 /sarc), and the show doesn't really explore the cast's relationships with each other or their world. So any potential information we could have learned about them from their interactions through others characters and their environments isn't utilized.

The show just keeps important info locked, tells you character's infos that would have benefited better from showing it, and then except the audiences fill in the missing gaps between info-dumps.

Don't worry about ranting, it's was fun to read and respond too. I understood you just fine.

[hypervoxel]

I think that Hazbin Hotel criticism has become a fandom all to itself, which I don't like because it makes me feel awkward when I want to do criticism. Sorry, I don't go here, I just have many gripes with the show. With that non-disclaimer out of the way,

I love the concept of Angel's character so much, but the execution of those concepts in the show made me like him less and less. It was way too rushed - as was the whole show - which makes his becoming a better person seem so cheap. Like, the characteristics he showed when Charlie tried to prove to Heaven that redemption is possible, weren't nurtured throughout the series, but instead just there, hinted at even in the pilot. Also I really hate how the show handles addiction without much care.

Sir Pentious is... fine. I don't like remembering the rape joke the show made at his expense. You can't go from treating assault as a serious issue to making jokes. On the note of the show's quick pacing, I straight up didn't realize at first that he died, so watching that scene, I was trying to figure out what all the other characters were reacting so dramatically about because I did not get that he had been completely vaporized, not just blasted out of the sky.

Vaggie is actually The Most Interesting Character to me. I love you fallen angels who fell because of love and compassion that were incompatible with Heaven's dogma. Conceptually, perfect to me. I wish there was a lot more about the conflict she has from her own internal biases about Sinners. Like it's there, but it's not addressed much. She wants to believe in and support Charlie, but it's Hell. Charlie is wonderful, but she's an outlier! And Vaggie feels the need to protect her from her own optimism, which is so so good, I love that conflict.

For Charlie herself, I wish she were just... I'm not sure the way to phrase this. More flawed? Like, the scene of her having Pentious and Angel acting like a middle school D.A.R.E. program, where Charlie just obviously doesn't understand the things she's trying to make her hotel inhabitants work through. She doesn't understand addiction, and in her lack of understanding, she hurts Angel! I wish there were more of a focus on that. I wish her clumsy attempts to help without any knowledge of how to help - as she did again trying to confront Angel's abuser - was shown more to make things worse. I wish she got a chance to reflect and realize that she needed to change the entire way she went about redemption as a concept instead of her going to Heaven to try to prove her idea works. She hasn't figured out how to redeem Sinners! She still doesn't know what they really need in order to be better.

I wish the series had gotten more into the very concept of redemption.

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

genuine thoughts on Sokeefe. Go 🎤

This is gonna piss somebody off. They're probably one of my least favorite ships in fiction to date. Only coming slightly before Jude and Cardan lol It's not a popular opinion, I know, so please don't come @ me. And I haven't read the books in so long... I might have details screwy.

PS: I don't hate Sokeefe shippers, ship away, it doesn't bother me. but I hold deep animosity for the way the ship is written.

Sokeefe feels contrived, and unplanned. Which is the appeal to many, but the turn off for me. Genuinely. I think I just have issues with the writing and execution of it. If you have to completely ruin the other love interest (Fitz) to convince me that the runner up is better... we got issues.

Allow me to explain:

Fitzphie felt intentional and planned. And sue me, I hate love triangles and I like when someone can just unequivocally choose someone and stick with them.

I used to really ship Fitzphie, but after Legacy I was really annoyed with the way Shannon wrote it all playing out. It felt fabricated and convoluted and completely out of character. Sure, I can pathologize why Fitz would care about matchmaking to the moon and back... but canonically, it doesn't even make sense. He was okay with going to Exullium and ruining his reputation that way, he was okay with infiltrating the ogre king's mind, and throwing hands with his brother publicly, being seen with Sophie, and befriending outcasts- but matchmaking is his last straw?? That's what suddenly got him pissed off? Not the fact that Sophie was keeping secrets, emotionally confiding in Keefe and not Fitz, whilst claiming Fitz as her boyfriend, letting his traitorous brother go etc...

^THOSE are all way more valid reasons to break up a ship like Fitzphie. That's a break up I can respect. Bc we know Fitz values honesty, trust and dependability. That tracks. We know he struggles with anger, but only when something actually serious is happening: His dad's mind breaking, Alvar betraying them <- arguably bigger deals than matchmaking by a LANDSLIDE. but anyway- I'm fine with them being broken up. I just wish it hadn't taken a complete character assassination and a stupid reason. I am of the mind that Fitz straight up just deserves better atp and that he's been ooc for the last few books and held to unfair standards compared to Keefe and Sophie's characters. Which just makes me pissed off at the whole ship lmao

(this all led to me beginning to dislike the series as a whole, and Fitz becoming my favorite character.)

OKAY- now for Sokeefe.

They feel contrived and like a fan-service. Don't hate me PLEASE-

You mean to tell me I read 7 books straight of Sophie pining after Fitz, never commenting on having romantic feelings for Keefe (aside from loving him in general as a friend and finding him attractive and him making suggestive comments about her feelings and being overly touchy feely and her deliberately choosing not to examine it) only for Sophie to suddenly act like she hadn't been obsessed with Fitz for 7 books straight the moment she had him?? because of some stupid concept about head and heart emotions?? (It's world building. I get it. Doesn't mean I don't find it hilariously dumb.)

I ALWAYS got the undertone of Keefe pining for Sophie, but she did not have that energy back towards him. In fact, she seemed wildly uncomfortable in some scenes (the one in Nightfall?? I think?? Where he backs her up against a wall??) and she seemed to not understand and be completely oblivious to his suggestive comments, aside from making her blushy and self conscious cuz she's an insecure character.

So anyway, after the Fitzphie break up, reading Stellarlune- I KNEW she was going to end up with Keefe. Not because it made sense, or because it had been foreshadowed in SOPHIE"S POV, but bc the fans wanted it and Keefe is a favorite, and he grew on Shannon. I just- maybe I'm just bitter, but I have never been under the impression that Sophie genuinely wanted a romantic relationship with Keefe. Until this book. Which felt like whiplash to me.

Wasn't our girl just crying over Fitz? like what is going onnnn

I could respect Sokeefe If Sophie had been having a mental war between Fitz and Keefe since at least book five, I'd believe that she had real romantic feelings for Keefe. BUT SHE DIDN"T. at least- not that I remember. So with the lack of build up on her part, but the readers obvious awareness of Keefe's feelings for her... it falls flat. Had Shannon planned on Sokeefe being endgame and had she sprinkled in more deliberate and crushy thoughts that could only be interpreted as romantic on Sophie's part, I would feel less blindsided. I would feel like it was all intentional. Like Keefe wasn't the only one pining for 9 books. Like Sophie wanted it just as bad as him.

like how long does it really take someone to realize they like someone?? I just find the whole thing to be unrealistic. How can Sophie be THAT unself aware? (I know the argument is that she didn't allow herself to like him bc it would put their friendship on the line but girl- it was obvious Keefe liked her and I just don't think she's that purposefully dumb.)

bro I could go on forever.

I didn't even touch on Keefe and Sophie's personalities and why I don't particularly like them as individual characters. That's a rant for another time.

im sorry! please forgive me.

[alice-the-brave]

“If Spock were here and I were there, what would he do?”

He asks the question urgently, thoughtlessly. Spock is the smartest guy he knows, the quickest, the best. He’s better at this than Jim is, could think up three alternate plans of action before Jim’s even managed to reign in his panic enough to think clearly. 

If Spock were here, and Jim was down there, he’d already be halfway to safety. 

“He’d let you die.” Bones doesn’t even look at him when he says it. 

Jim’s breath doesn’t catch - he hasn’t caught enough of it yet for that - but his racing thoughts do stutter. Bones had said it with bite, squeezed out through gritted teeth, but he had still said it. Had still meant it. 

Jim blinks at the screen, reboots his thoughts, gets back to planning.

Bones exaggerates, loses his temper. It’s one of the things Jim likes about him, the way he’s so easy to rile up, the way he gets surly and indignant even when Jim forces himself to laugh things off.

But he doesn’t look like he said it in the heat of the moment. He looks angry, worried, sincere. He does not look like he would take it back if given the chance. 

Jim can’t linger on that, or why the idea hurts quite so much as it does. He’s good at compartmentalizing, and he does. He orders his ship into the worst possible course of action, flies her through half a dozen protocol violations, lies in his report, and he’s not the least but sorry. 

Spock is predictably fixated on the protocol violations more than his friends and their distress, more than his own, but he is standing on the transporter pad, alive, confused, indignant about both of these things. 

Jim cannot bring himself to regret any of it. He couldn’t leave Spock to die. 

Spock stabs him in the back for it. Of course he does. Vulcans do not lie. And Spock likes to pretend that he doesn’t understand emotional motivations. He makes his report to Starfleet and Jim loses his ship for it. 

He wishes he had the gall to be cold about it, at least. If he didn’t know Spock - a chilling concept but one worth entertaining - he might think that his actions having a negative impact on his crew mates would be of no concern to him. But he does know Spock and, more than that, he knows that he cares a hell of a lot more than he pretends to. 

Spock is, as much as he ever is, upset about the whole thing. He never meant for this to go so far, Jim knows. He can see it in the sharp glance he cuts him when Pike confronts them, the lost look he gets when Jim turns to him in anger. The attitude he throws at Pike when he’s questioned. Spock is a prideful, sarcastic bastard, but rarely toward his superiors and never without cause. Jim realizes, through his embarrassment and betrayal, that Spock is defending him, however minutely. 

It doesn’t make it hurt less. If anything, it’s worse because it means Jim can’t really stay mad at him about it. It’s Jim’s fault. It always is. 

Jim is consulting his old friends Jack and Jose about it, considering consulting that pretty woman across the bar about it, when Pike shows up and pulls him from the gutter. Like always, the old man just won’t let him lick his wounds and feel sorry for himself. 

Still, Spock is reassigned and Jim has lost - a lot. Everything, really. He never expected to be made Captain but he felt at peace in that chair more than he ever had anywhere else. The Enterprise had become his home and her crew his family. He had come to rely on them in a way he never had his actual family. It makes the loss all the harder. He is, as he has always been, the kind of man that squanders any good fortune he finds. He ruins everything he touches, pushes all the good people away. 

Spock is waiting at Starfleet Headquarters just to remind him of that, sharp in his dress grays. Jim can hardly stand to look at him. 

“Captain.” He says, ostensibly in greeting but Jim can see the speech he’s itching to start from across the hallway. 

He stalks into the lift, doesn’t make eye contact as he sends it up to executive levels. 

“Not anymore Spock - First Officer.” Spock looks almost baffled when Jim finally turns to him. He folds his hands behind his back, fingers the brim of his cover, in an attempt to keep himself from doing something stupid. He has to keep this professional. Spock is usually the one that does that for the two of them, but for once he looks as stunned as Jim felt hearing the news. “I’ve been demoted and you’ve been reassigned.” 

Spock is silent for a beat but he recovers quickly, though his brow is still furrowed when he speaks. 

“It is fortunate that the consequences were not more severe.”

Jim breaths in deeply, breathes out slowly. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says, more to himself than to Spock. 

Predictably, Spock doesn’t deign to respond to that. 

“Captain, it was never my intention-“

“Not Captain,” he interrupts pointedly, turning to meet Spock head on as they shoot up floor after floor, “I saved your life, Spock. You wrote a report. I lost my ship.”

The doors hiss open and Jim turns to leave, stepping into the white halls. Spock stays still a moment more than he usually would, but he follows soon enough. 

“Commander,” he says, and Jim almost rolls his eyes, “I see now I should have alerted you to the fact that I submitted my report.”

It is more concession than Spock would usually ever make in such an argument. Jim doesn’t want to hear it. 

“I am…” angry, betrayed, disappointed, “familiar with your compulsion to follow the rules. But you see, I can’t do that.” 

He stops, turns to meet Spock’s eyes, only a step or two distance between them. He needs Spock to hear him, to listen, really listen for once. 

“Where I come from, when someone saves your life, you don’t stab them in the back.”

Spock looks almost offended by the implication, whatever he thinks it may be.

“Vulcans cannot lie,” he says, which Jim knows is, ironically, a goddamned lie. 

“Then I’m talking to the half Human part of you,“ he bites back, desperate enough to touch upon even that sorest of subjects. Spock does not talk about his Mother but Jim knows without ever being told how dear she was to him. How close. 

Spock tenses at the words, eyes a fraction wider as they track across Jim’s face, startled, uncertain. Jim hasn’t brought up Spock’s family since their first mission, has tried to make amends for the things he had said out of necessity. Hearing him mention it now must trigger some memory of their violent altercation, of Jim’s cruel taunts. But Spock doesn’t look angry or offended, only concerned, alarmed. He seems only now to grasp the gravity of Jim’s upset. 

Jim had thought, bitterly, that he would be glad to finally be rid of him. They’ve come a long way from insults and violence, so far that he can’t imagine how they started so at odds. Still, he knows what he’s like, and he knows that Spock finds him difficult - at least as difficult as he finds Spock. But he likes that about him, too. Spock wouldn’t understand that kind of illogical paradox though. He would not feel the same. It doesn’t stop him from trying to chase after Jim and mediate whatever argument this is. Jim doesn’t think even Spock understands what it is he’s trying to fix here. 

“Do you understand why I went back for you?” Jim barks, irritated. He doesn’t know why he can’t just be pissed off about this. He is mad, yes, but there’s also an unfamiliar pain in his gut, a pressure in the back of his throat like heartache. 

Spock blinks at him, confused. He doesn’t know. Of course not. Spock likes to pretend that he doesn’t understand emotions. Jim is very good at compartmentalizing. 

It’s a bad mix. 

Captain Abbey of the USS Bradbury - Spock’s new CO - saves Jim from having to explain himself, interrupting their argument to introduce himself with a raised brow. It must be strange to see a Vulcan in such a heated disagreement. They’re well known for their aversion to any such thing. But Jim knows Spock and he forgets sometimes that they might be expected to keep their very commonplace arguments private. Jim finds himself relieved at the interruption, regardless, thinks that it would be better for them both if they continued pretending that he did what he did out of brash stupidity. It’s what Pike thinks, it’s what the Fleet thinks. It is not the truth - at least not wholly. 

“The truth is, I’m gonna miss you,” he says, because he will and Spock deserves to know it. 

Spock doesn’t have many people left to miss him, and hasn’t ever heard it enough from the ones he does. Jim will always miss him, misses him even now, standing a foot away from him. There’s a distance between them that wasn’t there before and Jim knows it’s necessary as much as he hates it. 

This is what separations feel like. He’s done it before. 

Spock stares at him for a moment, mouth open on words he doesn’t voice. He looks - Jim doesn’t know. He’s never seen him make such an expression before; blank, surprised, but more of a mask than true calm. He knows what calm looks like on that face. After a moment, Spock closes his mouth with a wet click, a puzzled look overcoming him and Jim can’t believe that the only time he’s ever managed to render the man speechless was likely the very last real conversation they’ll ever have. He scoffs and stomps away and refuses to feel anything about the conflicted look Spock spares him before he follows his new Captain. 

The man is older, colder, wiser than Jim. Spock will probably learn a lot from him. He’ll probably argue with him less too. Jim is almost sad about that, weirdly. He likes when Spock argues with him. The way his brow raises, the irritation hidden by aloofness. It’s fun. He likes to see how far he can push him, likes when he does that thing that’s like a smile without actually smiling. 

He’s going to have to learn to live without it.

He sits at the table with the admiralty and tells himself it is doable. He has adapted to survive worse things than a lost friendship. Than a lost home. He breaths and closes his eyes and focuses on the mission Pike needs him to complete. It’s what he’s good at. 

Things go from bad to worse quickly after that. Most of John Harrison’s ambush is a blur, but he knows that when the dust settles he is running for Spock. 

He doesn’t know how he knows where to find him but it is as easy as following the tug in his gut, the unconscious itch in his feet to take him where he needs to be. When he does find him, Spock is sitting there, at Pike’s side. 

The admiral isn’t moving. 

Jim doesn’t quite register what that means, not until he’s knelt next to him, not until Spock turns to look at him with wide eyes. It is a look of unmistakable shock and Jim startles, his own shock shattering at Spock’s alarm, and he reaches forward, scrabbles to find a pulse. 

There isn’t any. 

Jim had lost his Father, and the absence had hurt despite never knowing him, but the pain of that loss was a reverberating echo, the sucking pain of a hole where someone should have stood. This is not like that. This is sweeping and aching, a tide of grief crashing over the whole of him. He crumbles before he can catch himself, buries his face in Pike’s bloody chest. It is as close to an embrace as they will ever get again. He fists the cloth of his uniform, feels the cut of the Fleet insignia in his fist. 

He cries.

Looking at that aged face, for the first time he feels the fear of what it’s absence will mean. There will be no more guidance, no more safety net. No one in his corner, to go to bat for him with the Fleet, to pull him out of the gutter. No more crooked grins and pats on the back, no more beers and stories and arguing about nothing. 

He ruins everything he touches, pushes all the good people away. Pike is gone so far now that Jim won’t ever be able to make it up to him. He knows exactly how much of a pain in the ass he was. Pike stuck with him anyway. 

He takes a breath, and another, tries to find that resolve in him that Pike swore he could see. He doesn’t know if it’s really there, but he thinks he can invent it, make it out of the fragments of the people around him. 

Pike’s grit, Spock’s steadiness. 

Spock sits next to them - Jim and the only man who’s ever really treated him like a son. He watches Jim cry over his corpse and it doesn’t feel like the intrusion it should be. He watches him pull himself back together, sits there silent and grieving too. 

The Vulcan condolences will come to Jim later - formal, ceremonial as Vulcans tend to be. 

I grieve with thee.

Spock does. He does not say the words but Jim feels it, knows it as if he had. Spock has grieved so much, but still he grieves with Jim. 

He stumbles to his feet, pushes himself up with Spock’s shoulder. Spock lets him. He turns just slightly into his touch and Jim squeezes tightly before he let’s go, stumbles  away. Spock turns toward him but doesn’t quite manage to focus enough to see him. Jim doesn’t notice. 

They are both far away.