#i rly can’t explain many of them either...
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detectivehole · 1 year ago
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hey man the anti-AI stuff you reblog is rly. Reactionary idk how else to put it. It’s a mixed bag. AI has been used in art for a LONG time, it’s not as new as ppl think it is. It’s used a lot in animation especially. Obviously there is a difference between AI as a tool and AI as a replacement for artists/writers, but nearly every single instance of them attempting this has been catastrophically bad. (Doesnt stop the dumbass studios like Disney and Pixar to keep trying it tho, bc they value short term profit over any actual value) For AI being used in a professional setting, it’s imperative the distinction be made between tool or replacement. Machines, despite how efficient they have become, are managed by humans. Letting them run without a person actually operating it that knows what they’re trying to do is always a bad idea.
However, using AI generated pics for like. Personal use? Let’s say you aren’t a good artist, or as many have pointed out, can’t be an artist due to disability (none of that inspiration porn abt painting w your mouth some ppl can’t do that either.) and you’d like a picture of your Tabletop game character or OC or something, and you do not have the money to spare for a commission from the artist you like. Doesn’t mean you can’t pay for one later on, as a human will take the finer details you want and bring them to life, but if you’re looking for like. A placeholder? And you aren’t planning on selling it or some shit, then ppl shouldnt get on your case. Except every anti-AI bro now hears “AI” and flies into a frothing rage, saying it’s “never ok”. Nobody should care of somebody made a meme using AI or tried to make something just for themselves or friends. It becomes an issue when it’s being marketed as a “replacement” for artists.
Tldr: AI is a useful tool, the tech bros that got a hold of ot do not represent the entire scope of it. If it is used as a tool or personal use, it’s not an issue. It only becomes one when it is used as an explicit replacement for writers/artists.
i agree with the first paragraph, though im a little insulted you'd assume my knowledge and opinions on AI image generation were so shallow and uninformed as to have to explain it to me- but you lost me after that
first off, i wanna make it clear that basically no one thinks you're some sort of amoral monster for having used or even enjoyed what AI image generation and art can give you. most people genuinely don't understand the intricacies of its ethics and effects, and while ignorance like that is annoying, it's something most people who do get it understand and forgive with a sorta... exasperation. most of the time. now, maybe you're not coming from a place of good faith, i can't say, but i choose to think you are
i don't have the chops, time, or particular desire to explain what exactly is wrong with AI art generation (there's a lot in way too many directions), so i'll just give you a link to get you started (it's not a long read, just some basic critiques to jump from) and some admittedly harsh sounding (but well meant) advice that pertains to your particular use of AI:
you dont always get what you want. you're not entitled, for any reason, to the fruits of stolen (and popular AI datasets have been proven to unequivocally be stolen) artistic labor, especially if that theft is impacting the livelihoods of independent artists. (and don't give me "what about other generic media piracy" because that's its own can of worms and you know it. i won't hear it). it's not the end of the world that you have, but it's just not ethical to generate that art knowing it's based off stolen work- if it was all consensually given data it'd be different- and sometimes behaving ethically means you dont get what you want. tough shit. plenty of people can't or won't draw for all sorts of reasons, and none of those reasons suddenly make it ok for them to take other people's art
to be clear, if all the datasets used to train AI were ethically sourced- bought, donated, or taken from free use material- this wouldn't be an issue. i mean there would still totally be issues with casual generative AI, but this particular issue would be moot. the issue with AI art isn't the AI, it's what the AI's being fed. every time you engage with it gets smarter, and better, and more efficient at chewing up its stolen foods and spitting out a knockoff. the issue is what it's being fed and you are putting tokens in the little treat machine at its petting zoo enclosure
you want a placeholder? you got picrew. doll dress up games. hell, pester your friends for doodles. save up. or even just learn to handle not getting it at all- just pick something else
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binders-and-beanies · 1 year ago
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Smth I don’t understand is how people can act like I’m uniquely busy in a way no one could ever imagine and also treat me like I’m the only one who believes that?? Like,, I’m obviously not the only one in my life with a lot going on. I’m in college, so a lot of my friends are in college. A lot of my friends have jobs, many of them full time. I’m clearly not the only one juggling several responsibilities, in fact I can’t rly think of anyone my age who isn’t at least moderately busy. I know this and try to treat people accordingly. But when I don’t have time to dedicate every free moment to everyone else it’s “you’re not the only one that’s busy.” Like ok so stop acting like I’m the only one that’s busy! If my situation is allegedly so average and relatable then why is everyone constantly so shocked and confused by it. Why does everyone think I’m lying, why does everyone not comprehend the sheer amount of things I have to do and lack of time to do them. If everyone is as busy as I am I would think they would have some concept of how I’m feeling but they don’t!! + I absolutely cannot relate to the kind of leisure and freedom of choice that a lot of people around me talk about having, like our lifestyles are drastically different and I don’t get it bc yeah it seems like you Should be busy. I guess it’s a disability thing but I don’t feel like that explains all of it. I guess a lot of people simply don’t do all the required things but I don’t feel like that explains all of it either. I’m truly just Confused at how the world around me p much teaches me that my situation is unheard of but then also dismisses my feelings of overwhelm with “oh but I’m busier than you actually”
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dangerous-disposition · 2 years ago
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F, K, and H if you haven't received those yet for the fic writers ask game!
Thank youuuuu for the ask!
F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.
I have answered this, but again I have so many fave dialogue scenes, so I'll answer this one as many times as I receive it ;p I'm choosing a scene from i can't tell where you end and where i start, with Our Boyfriend Tig:
“You’re right, it doesn’t, but just… those are the facts,” Steve said weakly, his lip trembling. “I love you and need you in my life, but just… not the same way as you, and I promise I hate myself so much for that.” “Steve, stop, I don’t want that,” Tig said and he shifted to sit at the edge of the bed and wrap his arms around Steve’s waist and pull him into a tight hug. “I don’t want you to beat yourself up over how you feel.” “Why are you comforting me right now?” Steve asked, his voice pathetically small as he wrapped his arms around Tig’s shoulders. “Because I’m hurt over something you can’t control, and you’re hurt because I was mean,” Tig said, his words a bit muffled against Steve’s chest. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
First of all, I'm just ridiculously pleased with the positive reception to Our Boyfriend Tig, and secondly just... I'm a huge slut for open and honest communication and I just... really like the way this entire conversation played out, but especially this part, especially the "I'm hurt over something you can't control, and you're hurt because I was mean" like idk how to explain it. I think about this dialogue a lot.
K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?
Okay so the angstiest idea I've ever come up with is actually something in my original fiction. So essentially there is this species of aliens that have like a tree that is their tree and such, and they're like magic trees (this is just a quick explanation there's a lot more to it than that i promise). Anyway, these trees are affected by the relationships the person has and such like, changing colours, have different leaves, growing thorns just stuff like that and there's a whole like... grieving/mourning ritual where, if a loved one or partner passes away, their remains are buried at the base of the mourner's tree and that tree will always have a piece of that person in them, and that person connected to that tree can... kinda commune with that loved one that passed, but it's largely just memories and dreams to fill in the gaps.
Anyway, this is relevant bc there's one character, who is one of these tree aliens, who has a human lover who gets uh.......... he gets got, and like they were so in love y'all, like they were soooooooo in love. Anyway, yeah so he gets got and the tree alien, who was reconnecting to their culture, performs this grieving/mourning ritual and kinda descends into this... rly gut-wrenching depression like it's just. ANYWAY THAT'S IT THAT'S MY ORIGINAL FICTION ANGST.
H: How would you describe your style?
I've already answered this one!
Send me more asks?
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aro-barrel · 1 year ago
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@danothen I hope you don't mind me rb-ing with your tags. ((They're good tags!!)) : D
#so i’m viet american and aro bi!#which sounds contradictory to my mostly-viet speaking parents ^^;#i don’t explain it to them bc there aren’t rly words or even cultural explanations that will make sense#they very much view it as an american thing#but there was this one time my mom’s (viet) coworker kept asking me when i’d start dating already and why i’m not thinking abt marriage#and my mom just said ‘oh danny’s just weird leave them alone’#which i thought was funny#i don’t think she even knows what she means by that but it’s nice knowing that she’d defend me even when she doesn’t understand#never has it been so clear why so many of us have adopted the label queer#language barrier aside i do feel this sense of guilt over it in relation to my heritage#esp as a 2nd gen immigrant#there’s a sense of debt that comes w a lot of asian families from what i understand and i certainly feel that#i remember crying in highschool bc i was grieving my mom’s fantasy of having grandkids#i didn’t ID as aro at the time but i knew i was never going to get married or have kids and it felt like freedom to accept that truth#but there was some kind of grief that my freedom came at the expense of the woman that devoted her life to me#i knew there was nothing wrong w me but idk. it’s sad to feel like i’m taking that away from her and it’s worse that i can’t even explain i#i think she still has hope but she stopped asking me abt it so at least we can co-exist#my dad still asks sometimes but more out of curiosity than concern#i think that’s it tho! idk i never rly thought abt my aromance as a race thing#i’m sure smth can be said abt the constant racial fetishization and dif cultural expectations for love/marriage#but idk i don’t rly think abt that lol. ppl will racialize me before anything else but i was always aro#even if i didn’t have the word for it i still know who i am so ig i don’t feel like my parents need to have a word either#it’s rly nice reading abt this tho. feels reassuring to hear that we’ve all found our own language to express ourselves#esp if we don’t understand our family’s language or if our family’s language doesn’t understand us#oh also it’s so weird to me that aspec is seen as a white ppl thing bc the only aro ppl ik are poc
i’d like to read about non-white aro experiences (as well as experiences of aro people from outside the US and UK). i don’t think there are enough explicitly non-white conversations about aromanticism. i remember seeing a demographic poll a long time ago, with a majority of aromantic tumblr identifying as white, but non-white aros exist!
i want to hear from people who can’t/won’t come out because of cultural expectations or language barriers. people who use different words to describe their aromanticism. people who experience isolation from the aro community because they aren’t white (enough). i want to hear about aromanticism from new angles!
of course, no one is ever obligated to reveal their ethnicity or race online. but if anyone has seen writing on diverse aro experiences or if they want to share their own experiences, i’d like to read about other perspectives! (pls send stuff my way)
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chocosvt · 5 years ago
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9 pix from your camera roll that describe you!
tagged by: @lowqualityseventeen @shoshishua @babiesanshine 💗
none of these have any correlation nor any significant meaning but somehow they have speak to me and i enjoy them 🌞
tagging: @tearsofsyrup @mypatheticaesthetic @ditzymax @fruitwoops 💗
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tokkiotears · 4 years ago
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my type - pt. 2
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note: italics are flashback/memories.. alright!! part 2 is here, im really enjoying writing this so far . its hard for me to write rly long parts but maybe we will get there one day lol; for @sapphireplums happy late bday darling
pairing: druig x (f)reader
summary: after telling kingo that the two of you are dating, druig asks why you had ever stopped being friends a few centuries earlier.
warnings: fake dating, slow-ish burn, not proofread!!
wc: 1.5k
“Hey man, I don’t wanna argue - I just came to ask…” You could make out Kingo’s voice pretty well from inside the bathroom, but the conversation dimmed and turned to mumbles that you could no longer comprehend through the door. . Now adorned in Druig’s clothes, you stood and fiddled with the hems. Checking your appearance in the mirror, you sighed. What was Druig thinking? You were going to have to explain to everyone that it wasn’t true and that you really were single - all alone for yet another year.
“Happy thoughts,” You say to your reflection. You open the door slowly, peeking out.
Druig is nowhere in sight, which is both a disappointment and a relief. As quiet as you can, you sneak into the hallway, towards your own room. It is just down the hall thankfully, but you have to pass many of the other Eternals rooms to get there. With the lack of light, you end up smacking your foot into the baseboard. A very audible thud echoes through the house. Your face contorts, a silent scream escaping.
“What’re you doing?” The voice behind you is unmistakable. Druig. You turn with a pained smile.
“Going to my room.” You whisper, wondering why he isn’t keeping his voice down. He shakes his head, pursing his lips together.
“Nah, come on.”
“But-“ His hand slipping in yours is what silences you, causing your heart to thud. You swear it's loud enough for him to hear, but his lack of reaction makes you think maybe he can’t. Once you’re back in the confines of his room, he turns to speak to you.
“Kingo has probably already texted Sersi and Sprite, likely even Ajak - and the others will have heard by morning. If they think we’re together then they will think something is wrong if we aren’t sleeping in the same room,” His accent is so mesmerizing to listen to that you almost don’t comprehend what he’s saying, “Is your foot okay?”
Looking down at it you can see it's slightly red, and still stings a little. But after all, you’re an Eternal. It’ll pass soon enough. You nod and Druig turns to grab a small throw blanket and a pillow from the bed. You extend your arms to take them, but he ignores you and tosses them onto the floor as if for his own use.
“I’ll sleep on the floor,” You say softly. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed, Dru.”
His head is hung low as he chews on his lip. His lack of response lets you know that’s not gonna happen.
You motion towards the bed, “We can both sleep on the bed?”
His head turns up and his eyes are now on you. He looks unsure.
“It’s not like this would be the first time,” Your tone isn’t suggestive, but an attempt to keep him from sleeping on the hardwood floor and guilt eating at your conscience. His lips pull into a faint smirk, but he doesn’t object.
⏤■⏤
A few hours into the night, you’re still unable to find sleep. Druig is breathing softly beside you, you could make out the rising and falling of his chest with the faint moonlight spilling in through the window.
Carefully, you remove yourself from the blankets and make your way to the window. It is a large clean-cut rectangle stretching from the ceiling nearly to the floor, lined with wispy chiffon curtains. Slipping into the windowsill, you let yourself relax. The cold walls feel fresh against your skin, giving you a sense of clarity.
Sometimes, it felt numb. Being an Eternal. Endless life.
Daily life felt as if it were reduced to monotony. Love was bitter, you either found it with a mortal; doomed to die before your eyes. Or hope that within the few other Eternals you were paired with that you’d somehow be so lucky to fall in love and be loved in return. It was fulfilling to help the humans grow - but many of them seemed destined to self-sabotage.
You press your fingertips against the glass, watching fog form around your fingertips as a response to your body heat. The rustling of blankets causes you to look towards Druig, his figure lazily writhing in the sea of blankets to face you. His eyes hesitantly open to make out the silhouette of your body in the window.
“Hey,” You whisper with a melancholy smile. Even from this far away, his eyes are a piercing shade, glowing in the moonlight.
“What’re you still doing awake, doll?” The raspiness of his voice conveys his lethargy well. The comforter is haphazardly draped over his abdomen and you can’t help but admire his picturesque-ness. Even after thousands of years of knowing him he somehow still managed to render you awestruck. You tried to suppress the flutters in your stomach that bloomed at the nickname.
“Why’d you tell Kingo…” You trail off, gazing out the window at the snowy hills. You glance back at him.
“I know it bothers you that they ask,” He was awake now, scooting to the edge of the bed and tossing the blanket aside. “I figured two birds one stone. I get to spend more time with you for a bit and they stop annoying you.”
Audibly, he sighs. Druig meanders to the windowsill, taking a seat across from you. All you can offer him is a smile. You don’t notice when he intertwines his legs with yours; Only when his fingers graze over the skin on the back of your hand. “What happened in Brazil?”
⏤■⏤
The party raged on for days. The famous Carnival. 1800 is a year to celebrate apparently.
The heat of the day was dissipating slowly into a comfortable warmth, yet the crowds only grew more sweaty. Glass beads, tinsel, feathers, they all littered the streets. You remembered when you first got wind that there were extensive festivals going on here - it was something that you and Druig couldn’t resist.
Luckily, you had snagged a small wooden chair on the edge of the alleyway. It was nearly morning and you were on your reserves to keep partying. Every now and then you’d see a pair of golden eyes - Druig taking over a person in order to find you. He couldn’t keep up with how fast you moved in these crowds. You spotted a young man, with a curly head of hair.
“Y/N,” He greeted in his mother tongue. His eyes beamed a bright gold.
“I’m ready to go home if you are,” You pant, desperate to peel the layers of sweaty clothing off and bathe in the springs. “Come get me.”
The boy scoffs, a mischievous smile on his lips. Then, his eyes dim and he returns to what he was doing before Druig took over. You spotted him in the crowd, mop of dark hair covered in glitters. His smile was so bright and his demeanor so happy. Something in the back of your head nagged at you. It had before. ‘Look how happy he is!’ ‘You’re holding him back.’ ‘You could never make him truly happy.’
A group of happy youth pulls him into their vicinity - forcing him to join their dancing. You give him one more look before you turn and melt into the crowd.
It was difficult to avoid him in Brazil, really in most of South America. You’d avoid those glowing eyes, even if they weren’t his. Somehow you had convinced yourself that he was better off without you.
⏤■⏤
“Y/N?” Druig’s low voice broke through your thoughts. No surprise there. “Lost in your own head again?”
You rest your head onto the window pane. “Mhm.”
The forest in the distance is bristling with movement, caribou wandering through the snow.
“I thought it was time to stop holding you back. That’s why I left Rio.”
Druig’s dark brows furrowed. “Holding me back?”
His hands grew firm against yours. You used to be able to read him so well, but now you could hardly tell what mood he was in. You missed the days where you’d surprise him with the first editions of his favorite novels and handmade trinkets. Druig rested his head on your clasped hands. Gazing at him, you say still. Admiring the way his midnight stands of hair shine.
“Cmon let's go to sleep,” You murmur. His hand is desperate to stay on yours, but he lets go momentarily. When he slips into his previous spot on the bed, and you yours, his hand ventures towards you from under the blanket. First, it grazes your hip and then finds its way back to your palm.
The shivers that ran down your spine soon dissipate as the heat from his body warms your own.
Is this friendship that has evolved over thousands of years, or is it something else?
✑ taglist : @dontbedumb3 @rexorangecouny @emptyloverofmine @who-even-is-galileo @justifymyfeelings @jelly4m @measure-in-pain
if you'd like to be added let me know xx
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heliosoll · 3 years ago
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🌊🌌! hello!! your pixie hollow dr made me want to rewatch tinkerbell aka my favorite movies when i was little and omg i fell in love with it all over again😢. i genuinely cannot tell if you’ve talked about it or not cause i feel like i saw a post about it and now i can’t find it… anyway here’s some questions; answer any u feel like!<3
when did you arrive at ur dr?
how long did u stay?
what’s ur funniest memory?
did you follow the plot of the movies and/or books?
who was ur fav girl?
did everything feel rly big or did it feel normal?
have you found lost things? if so what was the oddest/ur fav/funniest/confusing? (any)
did you like tinkerbell when she was in her first three movies? cause whew chile i didn’t realize how much i would hate her till she matured…
what’s your favorite part of being a fairy?
have you been to the mainland?
what’s your favorite season to change?
have you met queen clarion? (what was she like)
did everyone fr wear only one color for their jobs??💀
were there the really stupid jobs like the laundry fairies?
were u there when you first were “born” and the talent picking thing?
if applicable, how was the neverbeast? (my fav movie)
how inconvenient was pixie dust and the whole wing situation in general…
what’d your house look like? if im remembering, different talent fairies lived in different places in the movies.
how big is pixie hollow?
how many fairies are there? (estimate?)
is working fr all there is to do?
what’s the food like?
tysm for taking your time to read this!!! i feel like this was an interrogation.. sorry!
i wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH👏👏. ur post and sexyandhedonistic’s self concept helped me tf out of my rut and my self concept has improved and i’m so happy with my imagination and secure with my life rn… i’ve been ignoring all circumstances and literally laughing at them cause i know it’ll work out for me so thank y’all😔🫶🫶🫶🫶
Omg hi!! Yes, I did talk about it a little here!
I arrived about half a year before Tink! I stayed for a couple of years actually :) I wanted to get through the major movies and what I remembered from the books so I was there for a while!
Funniest memory... oh gosh I'm not sure... There was this one time when a new water talent fairy (her name was Cordelia! very cute and nice) had some trouble getting into the flow of things (hah) and she ended up completely soaking Rosetta hahah She made us all walk until her wings dried and she wouldn't come near the river for weeks after that 😭
My DR mostly followed the movies and occasionally had things from the books! Like all the book fairies that weren't in the movies were there and I remember specific book/comic plots (like the art contest with Bess, Rani's entire story {very sad :(}, and the issue with Silvermist and the "cursed" ladybug).
When I was a kid in my CR, I believe my absolute favorite was Silvermist! But I know I liked all of them too :) In my DR, I was closest to Sil and Iridessa!
Things felt big!! It probably would've felt normal to me if I scripted out my memories but I didn't do that with this DR so everything felt very big. It was kinda scary at first ngl!! It def took some adjusting to feel normal there (after a while it gets better and it does start to feel more normal).
I occasionally looked for lost things with Tink! Grossest thing was a condom (i didn't explain it to her...) and the coolest thing was a knife that was in surprisingly good condition!
Tink never bothered me that much! There were definitely times (especially when she first got there) that I got worried about her or annoyed with her actions but it was never that bad. And since I knew she would fix everything and act nicer, we were pretty chill! Tinkerbell wasn't the first fairy that had trouble adjusting to her talent so it wasn't a big deal with other fairies either :)
Favorite part of being a fairy... honestly? Probably flying! I know that seems like a basic answer but I love flying hahah
I have been to the Mainland! We actually went over there for every season change so I got pretty used to it :) And speaking of changing seasons!! My favorite was winter to spring and summer to autumn!
I have met Queen Clarion :) She's very nice! She feels... warm? I don't really know how to describe it but when you're talking to her it feels like talking to a mother figure (in a good way). She's just very nice and calming to be around :)
We didn't wear one color per se... but your talent almost gives you preferences? That was actually one of the things that everyone talked about (we all had different theories). You absolutely could wear widely different colors but it always feels unnatural when you do it (fairies with talents that didn't correspond with nature felt much more freedom). My theory is that it's some form of ingrained camouflage...
YES there were stupid talents 💀 It was highly discouraged to make fun of fairies for their talents (it's not like we can choose) but it definitely happened. Some of the nature talent fairies were also really mean to fairies who didn't have nature related talents :( which wasn't cool, i'd recommend scripting that out because they can get really nasty 😭
"were u there when you first were “born” and the talent picking thing?" I'm not sure what you mean by this tbh!! I did go through the talent thing (got water) though!
The Neverbeast is adorable 🥺 I was much chiller with him since I remembered the movie but I'll be honest seeing him up close for the first time was a little scary! He's very big compared to us 💀 I also changed the reality a little cause I didn't want him to go to sleep forever (or for the next 1,000 years) :( So instead, Gruff woke up every year! It only happened once a year (the storm thing happened every 1,000 years though), near summertime usually and it was always a big celebration!! All the fairies love Gruff :')
Pixie dust can be super inconvenient if you do a lot of flying, which like... most fairies do but whatever. I did script that it was a lot better in my DR though! So usually one bag of pixie dust can last for an entire week instead of just one day. I also scripted that we typically had an abundance of pixie dust so we never had to deal with running out and only rationed to make things fair!
I based my home on that one lotus home in the game! The inside was inspired by a couple of different pictures I found on Pinterest. My house was on top of a lake 🤭
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Pixie Hollow itself is pretty big (in comparison to us at least) and covers a very wide area. However, that's mostly due to each season having a section! If the entire place was condensed, it'd probably be equatable to a small town. But because everything is so separated it feels more like a big city!
How many fairies... oh goodness.... In just Pixie Hollow, I'd say there are around 2,000 fairies at any given time (sometimes that decreases/increases depending on what's going on in the human world).
Working is definitely not the only thing to do hahah There are a lot of random shops and places to eat. Tons of outside/sports activities to do (park-like areas as well) and even theatres! My DR had this one place that was kind of like an amusement park? But yeah, our work/life balance was actually pretty good! The most challenging part was the schedule since when we worked was based on nature and not like... specific hours. Some fairies were luckier in that regard, but some weren't so lucky (some of the light fairies worked really late hours due to fireflies).
The food is amazing!! Def one of the best parts about living in Pixie Hollow. The cooking and baking talent fairies are literally phenomenal. They get so creative and since everything is super fresh, all the food tastes good. Like I don't think I had a single meal there that was bad? Any food that goes bad just gets used as fertilizer so we never felt like we had to use it. It literally felt like eating at a 5 star restaurant every day!! Def recommend shifting there 😌
And don't worry! I don't mind the questions hahah If anything, they help me reminisce about my DRs :)
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a-little-lostmoon · 3 years ago
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Okay so if you had to assign a pokemon for the twisted wonderland characters which one would it be? I would definitely give Jade any of the mushroom pokemon.
a singular mon? damn making my life hard (lh nm) thankfully i already have set teams for most of the characters and done (a little too much) research on which pokemon i think would go best w them so without further ado,,,, (also this will be minor spoilers for their future team comps when i finally get to writing so if anyones waiting for that to come out for the surprise then maybe don’t read) apologies in advance, this is gonna be a long one
Ace, zorua! i believe him and zorua would make a good pair, the illusion ability would be a nasty thing to go against but ace would definitely make the most of it
Deuce, lucario/riolu. this pair i believe goes together especially well because of how in the games/shows lucario characters are typically these noble protector pokemon. having a lucario around i think would mesh well with deuce’s personality while also fitting well with his habit of jumping into fights (whether it be joining said fights or preventing them)
Riddle, hard to pick one for him but hmmm i think i’ll go with rapidash! member of the equestrian club, after all, and fire types suit him for reasons i don’t think i have to explain lol
Cater, another hard one but… i think either cinccino or panpour for no particular reason other than vibes
Trey, there r so many i picked for his team that i really like but,,, mmmmm i think i’ll pick slurpuff for him? trey’s team comp represents him more as a whole that one pokemon does so it’s hard to pick but i’ll keep my final answer as slurpuff <3
Jack, maractus or cacnea/cacturne bc cactuses
Ruggie, i told myself i wasn’t going to reveal starters but since i have t’ pick what i think is the most fitting, scorbunny for sure. the two would be mischief makers and i love it
Leona, tyranatar. that sandstorm ability would definitely b a bitch to go against in battle plus it’s super fitting with his magic
Azul, i’m going to pick one of the unconventional members of his team, but wobbuffet. i really can’t give much of a reason for it other than, vibes. wobbuffet’s a lot less serious than azul is but i think that’s kinda the point lol
Floyd, scrafty/scraggy. i was tempted to pick a water type pokemon but it has to be the scraggy line. fighting spirit vibes ! they’d get along well w each other me thinks
Jade, w jade i think ur absolutely right and all the mushroom pokemon fit him very well but if i had to pick one that’s not like breeloom, vileplume, shiinotic, foongus, etc thennn i think i’ll have to go with.. i’ll pick another unconventional and go with mawile. i think it fits jade and floyd rly well as a pokemon but the fairy typing plus it leaning more towards the more deceptively cute side (if you ignore the giant mouth on the back of its head) i think it fits jade a little more. ALSO IMAGINE MAWILE PICKING UP ON JADE’S HABIT OF THE HAND ON HIS CHEST THING AND HIS CLOSED EYES SMILES ITD BE ADORABLE
Kalim, when picking a team for kalim i struggled so much bc so many pokemon felt fitting for him which makes picking one all the mor difficult but i think i have to go with chatot. colorful little talkative bird, need i say more?
Jamil, arbok. not much competition rly, giant poison cobra snake. though i definitely still must admit, jamils another character im rly happy w his full team comp for :>
Epel, espurr because hair and because i said so! i think an epel espurr combo would b really cute and although it’s not a “tough strong looking pokemon” like epel is probably seeking i think having an espurr/meowstic on his team could really help him destigmatize the idea that strong people and pokemon have to be big w huge muscles and be able to lift a lotta stuff with their arms. they’re gonna have a great dynamic and arc <3
Vil, so many good picks again but gotta go with mienshao i think. elegant looking but strong fighting type pokemon, need i say more?
Rook, decidueye. another one i didn’t wanna name starters for but can’t help itttt rook w a decidueye was like half the reason i even started thinking abt everything in depth in the first placeee it’s just a perfect match
Ortho, i have no idea for ortho honestly but.. hmmmm i think ortho with a magneton would be neat!
Idia, hydreigon bc like,,, Cerberus. three headed dog, three headed dragon y’ feel me?
Sebek, Sirfetchekd. Just-sirfetche’d.
Silver, Aegislash. I was torn between putting Aegislash on Sebek or Silver’s team but i think it fits Silver a little more, though i’m not entirely set on the choice yet,,,
Malleus, Haxorus. I think most dragon type would fit him for again obvious reasons lol but haxorus more than the others
ANDDD FINALLY, Lilia, who i gift drampa bc. Drampa. (altho the bat pokemon would fit him too, but drampa)
hope my answer’s satisfied u, this took me awhile haha (but was still fun to type out <3) ty for the ask!
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shinkanefanatic · 4 years ago
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I have returned from the dead to talk about season 3
So recently after finally watching the trilogy on YouTube (movies were SO good, especially enjoyed the 2nd) so I decided to rewatch s3 hoping this time around I could follow it a bit better than when I watched it when it first came out. And the consensus after finishing my rewatch is this
While I can say i do understand a few plot points better having seen the trilogy, there are still many things I don't understand that the season nor the movies explained either. Did learn there is a manga for s3 just like the rest of the series but of course no legal, non-virus ridden sites have it available so I can't read it lmao I glanced and it does look like the manga has scenes that weren't in the anime but does that include answers to plot points we didn't get a lot of info on?
While the season sprinkled a little on certain things about, for example, Akane's situation, throughout the season, we never really got anything solid. I'm praying for another season at some point because I REALLY enjoyed season 3. To me I felt the writing was as good in s3 as s1, even with all the unanswered questions
So in short here are the main things I wanted to know and if anyone could explain these if they were answered in the season, my small brain would be foreever grateful
What happened to put Akane in jail and strip her of her job
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How did she and Mika meet Kei and Arata (we also got hints she'd met Irie too)
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This is probably overthinking on my part and forgive my small brain but rly, who exactly ARE Fredirica and Shizuka because both characters came out of no where and I feel they knew way too much about things, especially Shizuka. Idk it's one thing for the characters to be able to read others in this series or learn about others through their file but something feels different about those 2 compared to the others
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How did Shizuka know Akane and when/did they meet? Sure seemed like he knew her well since he made sure to demand her release from jail...
When exactly did Gino and Sugo join Foreign affairs? In the 2nd movie of the trilogy, Sugo turned down Frederica when she scouted him. I mean we assume maybe Kougami coming back had something to do with Gino changing jobs but I feel there's a story there
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Did Akane's arrest happen before or after Kougami came back?
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When was Mika made chief
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How did Yayoi's hue clear so much she was allowed to rejoin society and get a new job and when
This may have been stated in the season but I honestly don't recall: how did Kei's brother rly die and why did it say in the file Irie and them read that Arata's dad killed him?
Why the hell was Kou so hostile towards Kei and Arata? Ok I get Kei cause of him seeing him help Shizuka escape at the one scene. And also Kou kept saying he wanted to be the one to arrest Azusawa but he was soooo freaking pissy with both Kei and Arata, it felt almost off for his character to be so rude...or maybe it's just me lol I mean cause Gino was hella nice to both newbies but Kou, definitely not lmao
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Speaking of, Kougami obviously doesn't get along with Mika as shown in an earier scene. There's definitely a story there
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This one isnt that important and Im overthinking, but In the scene Arata meets Kougami and Gino, he focuses his gaze on JUST Kou. Assuming Arata personally knew Akane, did he know about Kou from Akane beforehand?
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And I'm sure I have more questions but right now that's all the comes to mind. So yeah if anyone else understood something I didn't or explain some of these of these to me, I'd be very happy lol
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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago
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I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.
As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.
Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?
(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)
Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!
For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.
Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.
With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:
Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.
Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.
Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.
Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.
Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.
Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.
His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.
This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.
The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.
I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he���s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.
As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.
For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.
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mikyouknow · 4 years ago
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Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.
I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀
So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD
Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣
Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀
But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:
My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao
“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀
HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌
Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-
Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍‍♀️
GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT
Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀
Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.
I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀
“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED
His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.
ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.
Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t
But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh
And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO
I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔
AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀
THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING
EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T
I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍‍♀️
Butterflies.
I’ve never. In my life. Like.
That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-
Dear lord.
Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)
Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣
I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍‍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍‍♀️
Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀
This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀
“TecHniCally🥴”
“My future is your future”
I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god
Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀
It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀
“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird
“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔
It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.
But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?
LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀
“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”
THE SILENCE
Also,
how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’
Some words hit this man different huh LMAO
“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣
HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??
“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???
God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-
Hold on.
Wait. A minute.
George.
George is doing that LMAOOOO
Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍‍♀️
AIGHT MOVING ON
George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅
Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍‍♀️
I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?
WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,
I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.
“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING
This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.
What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀
The Speed at which they move on 💀
And then George goes So silent 🧍‍♀️
Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO
I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)
So.
Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?
That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍‍♀️
Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO
“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend
George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴
Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.
He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)
“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?
“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO
“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO
OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT
I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD
Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO
And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀
‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀
“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR
“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING
NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-
HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-
The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀
:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!
Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’
He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀
Poor George 🥺
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nagichi-boop · 3 years ago
Text
Aight imma lay all my auditory cards on the table. And by that imma throw out a bunch of little auditory issues I have for input on what could be causing them because I have no idea what’s what anymore (and I wanna know if my doctor was right to dismiss me or if I should pester them to look into it).
I’ll put the stuff under a readmore cuz I don’t want people who follow me to be annoyed by my ear problem rambles.
Bear with me cuz I’m rly bad at explaining things like this. :’)
• Sometimes when people talk, it causing and uncomfortable crackle/popping(?) sensation in my ear and can be borderline painful.
- Happens more often over zoom calls (especially on tablets where you can’t turn the volume very low) and phone calls but also happens irl if people talk somewhat loudly.
- Often causes me to try to “politely” cover the effected ear(s) or sometimes distance myself from the source of the sound.
(This has been an issue since about 2018 I think. That’s when I first noticed it.)
• Freak out when I hear buzzing insects or similar sounding noises. Sounds loud and intense and I tend to cover my ears, become more sensitive to stimuli and cry. If I’m exposed to the stress for too long I become jumpy and find it difficult/impossible to talk for a while. (This has been an issue as early back as I can remember.)
• I don’t necessarily struggle to hear but I misunderstand what people say a lot, especially if the room is noisy.
- For example, I can’t understand what people are saying when I’m washing dishes cuz of the sound of running water.
- I also just generally struggle to understand people. I either just hear noises or I confuse the words. (I have been called “deaf” many times cuz of this issue.)
- Sometimes I’ll understand what they said midway thru them repeating themselves.
• I get occasional ringing in my ear but it’s not constant. It only lasts for a few minutes tops and seems to come and go randomly.
• I just generally don’t cope well will loud noises. Sudden ones especially. Like fire alarms or phone notifications make me very anxious. (In fact my phone is actually on silent all the time because of this. My phone only vibrates for calls and that’s it.)
• I often get irritated by my ears and I scratch them cuz they feel full and sticky, though I usually just clean my ears at that point.
These are the ones off of the top of my head. Idk I’m likely overreacting but the first two definitely have a fairly big impact on my life. The first one makes it difficult to concentrate or be in the room for conversations or zoom calls cuz it’s uncomfortable painful. And the second means I rarely go outside due to fear of bugs. I also don’t open my window cuz of them. Plus the embarrassment that comes along with it isn’t fun - everyone judges me.
Some possibly helpful side notes:
• I am on a waiting list for autism. My brother is diagnosed with it and my dad probably also has it (but refuses to get diagnosed).
• I suffer from what I assume to be migraines and have since I was a kid. My dad was diagnosed as having them.
Uhhh so anyways, hopefully someone out there knows what the hell I’m talking about. I’m assuming they’re a mixture of issues but I’m open to any experiences, input or advice!
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caribooed · 4 years ago
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[cha cha slide voice] reverse!
Freeze! Everybody clap your hands!
Ok so Catwoman Guardian of Gotham was a disaster so I'm taking it into my own hands. Only Bruce and Selina are swapped and Alfred still exists, not. The weird maid lady and Bruce is Not a bloodthirsty murderer
This got Very long so it's under a cut
Selina's parents were murdered by Joe Chill and she vowed to never let anyone feel the same pain she did, hence why she later became Catwoman
Bruce grew up on the streets with his big brother Thomas taking care of them both, but Thomas ended up killing a guy in a mugging and got sent to prison and left Bruce on his own
Catwoman hears about a number of high-profile thefts (museums, aristocrats) springing up and starts trying to track down the cat burglar and ends up interrupting a burglarly from a wealthy woman's penthouse
She chases the burglar down and they have a fight on the rooftops where they kick the everloving shit out of eachother but the burglar throws her off the roof and when she gets back up he's gone
Next night, she attends a charity event and meets an activist and fundraiser by the name of Bruce Wayne and they have a nice chat and hit it off
In the middle of it, a waiter bumps Selina in the side right over where her ribs got cracked from the other night and she doubles over so Bruce helps her out of sight and asks what happened
She tells him she tripped down the stairs of her house but he does Not believe it and ends up sticking by her the rest of the night, at the end of which Selina is like. "He's nice I think" and invites him out for lunch soon
Jump a day or two and Selina runs into the burglar again but this time he's got full body armor and a bat motif and she is Not Happy With This Development
Bruce stole a ton of armor and weaponry from the GCPD and made his own suit because Selina rly messed him up the last time they met
So they fight and Bruce hits her in the side and it floors her and he is like. Wait A Minute, but she recovers and he's forced to run
And then over a period of a month or two, Bruce starts hanging out with Selina in the day (lowkey stalking her to see if his wild theory is right) and while over at her manor he spots a bloodstain on her shirtsleeve from a wound that bled through the bandages she was wearing and when he questions her she says she cut her arm open on a nail accidentally and it's not a big deal but he's just. Hm
Also during this period, Catwoman keeps showing up to stop all of Batman's robberies and he's really getting sick of it because he's been using the money from his stolen goods both to like, feed himself but also to support a gang of homeless kids in the neighborhood he lives in and to help provide food for the local orphanage and it's getting Really Hard To Do That When He Can't Steal Stuff
So basically he knows she's Catwoman and Selina is his friend and he's just. I Have An Idea
Batman starts going out more often just to taunt Catwoman while she's on patrol and he starts going to other rogues like Two-Face and Cobblepit to egg them on and he actively breaks Bane out of prison and the Riddler out of Arkham just to set them loose
He's basically manufacturing a crime wave to try and wear Catwoman out and it's working
She's really exhausted because of all this and every time she has to make an appearance in public she's all tired and struggling to keep it together and Bruce makes a point to be there and to cover for her whenever she's too overwhelmed
Eventually Catwoman gets severely injured during a fight and she's too far from the Cave so, not really having another option, she shows up passed out in Bruce's apartment bleeding out and he's all surprised and helps her and gives her impromptu medical care but never pulls off her mask
Selina wakes up on his couch and he's asleep in a chair he pulled up next to her and she's like :] and leaves him a thank you note before going
So Batman has basically become priority one but he keeps causing so many new problems to spring up that she can't actually go after him while he commits a robbery spree, and every tine she deals with everything else he goes to ground for weeks on end
All the while Bruce is there being Supportive Friend Of The Year and they keep going out to eat and they spend events together and it's Grand
Eventually Bruce asks her out! And she's like. Oh No because while she likes him, she genuinely doesn't know if she can handle being in a relationship at the moment but she doesn't want to say no so she gives a tentative yes and so they're dating
Luckily he is a very understanding man and whenever she has to dip out to be Catwoman or when she's too tired to go out he's all "oh it's fine, I can reschedule" and it's a Very Big Relief
Batman goed to ground after another round of Mess With Catwoman and he stays that way for like three months and she puts all her rogues away so for the first time in a While she has proper free time to spend with Bruce and it's lovely! And shes like. "If this is how our relationship is, I don't want it to end" but because she's Catwoman and she doesn't know that she could hide it from Bruce if they were married and so one night she shows up in his apartment as Catwoman and shows him that she's Selina and he's just "!!!!! Oh that explains a lot, that's really awesome"
He swears he'd never tell anyone about her identity and makes a joke about how because Selina makes herself seem so ditzy at parties, nobody would believe him anyway and so Selina proposes to him the next night and they end up getting married and Bruce moves into the manor ❤️
Unfortunately Batman comes back and he pulls a pro gamer move which involves releasing every inmate from Arkham and Blackgate, including but not limited to her entire rogues gallery
So she's having a Time and literally just can't handle everything and every time she does well against a rogue Batman swoops in out of nowhere to divert her and really it's exhausting and she's working herself to the bone
Eventually she manages to wrangle most of them but the Joker is still on the loose and Batman keeps evading her and she Has Not Slept For Four Nights
While she's in the Cave, Alfred makes a comment about how at night it always gets so nerve wracking, especially since Bruce tends to leave after she does and Alfred is worried he might get caught up in something dangerous considering Batman and the crime wave and Selina is like
"He leaves the house at night??? [wh]" And Alfred gets confused tells her how he can never find Bruce in the manor from around eleven pm to two in the morning so he assumes Bruce goes out to visit friends or to deal with personal business and he tells her abt how he asked Bruce about it and he told Alfred that he and Selina had already talked about it
And Selina is just. "He was lying to you, I had no idea he was going out" which makes her Very Suspicious
She can't Do anything about it because she's trying to track down supercriminals but she checks the manor security feeds and she can't find any trace of Bruce leaving which is Concerning
Basically she ends up finding the Joker and stopping him from bombing the city and he gets sent back to Arkham, but before she can go home Batman shows up and they facedown on the roof
Batman goes all "I really didn't want to do this but you gave me no choice" and then starts trying to kill Selina
He gets a bunch of good stabs in but Selina seems to get the better of him and so he runs and she follows him into an apartment building but loses him in the hallways
She spots a bomb behind one of the doors and realizes the building is about to explode so she gets out of there just before it does and Batman corners her with a gun on a nearby roof
He tries to kill her again but Selina manages to get close and hits the gun away
Batman tries to run but she grabs him by the cape and yanks him back and manages to rip his cowl off before he gets away, at which point she sees that it's Bruce and she's Horrified
And it finally clicks that Batman has been trying to get every other criminal in Gotham to either kill her for him or wear her out so that he can do it himself, which would Also be killing Selina Kyle, and since she doesn't have any other heir, Bruce would get her fortune
And she's all "why would you do all this" and he gets really angry and starts telling her all about the people that aren't as privileged as her and he basically tells her that he wants her money so he can use it to help the people living in the East End and the Narrows, since Selina and the other aristocrats of her stature didn't know the problem like he did and refused to help
So Selina is just baffled that he'd go this far and he apologizes to her genuinely before he tries to kill her one last time because now that she Knows, this is his last chance to get away with the plan
It doesn't work, Selina fights him off and manages to get cuffs on him but he gets away and Selina goes home and Divorces That Man Immediately but also realizes that while he was living with her he'd been stealing things like jewelry she never wore or fancy paintings from rooms nobody ever went into and she is just Not Pleased
But she also allocates a ton of money towards charity projects focused in the more rundown areas of Gotham and actively starts funding all sorts of orphanages, soup kitchens, clinics, etc
She tries to track Bruce down but he's just Gone and so she lets it go even though she's very heartbroken and sad that he tried so hard to kill her
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georgescatcafe · 4 years ago
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heaven can wait (we’re only watching the skies)
rating: t warning/s: slight internalized homophobia pairing/s: dreamnap genres/tags: high school au, friends to lovers word count: 6,639 summary: Dream was initially going to go to prom with him. Not, like, as a date, but… as a friend. Just two guys hanging out together. They’d go together and hang out and make fun of the people there, maybe, and they’d eat food that neither of them trusted to be good and they’d see if the punch was spiked and they’d have fun. Together.
And then Sapnap had checked the school website to find the rules changed. Only students from their school allowed, no exceptions. And Dream was homeschooled in a program completely separate to the school.
It sucked.
And now here Sapnap is, emptily drinking soda and watching a basketball game featuring teams he honestly doesn’t even care about. And thinking about Dream.
+ao3
;;
“Dude,” Sapnap says into the phone, staring blankly at the school’s website, “I have, like, zero interest in prom now that you can’t come. That rule is so stupid.”
“It is, but you’re not sneaking me in and getting suspended,” Dream replies.
“That’s only if I get caught,” Sapnap argues, “which I won’t.”
“Don’t even risk it.” Dream sighs, and Sapnap lets out one of his own in agreement. “Just go, and think about what we can do the next day—ice cream, maybe a drive to the beach, hey! Monday is Skip Day, right? Let’s stay the night at the beach. That’s awesome, right? Prom and then all that?”
“Prom without you, though?” Sapnap isn’t convinced.
He can see Dream’s frown crystal clear in his mind. “Don’t throw away unforgettable experiences just because of me. Besides, aren’t some of your friends going?”
“Our friends,” Sapnap corrects, even though that’s not entirely true. In freshman year, before, they were always more Sapnap’s friends than Dream’s, and even then, there weren’t that many in their group—just Sapnap, Dream, a guy from chess club, and two guys from the egamer group that met once every too many months.
Dream lets out a breath. “Our friends,” he agrees, nonetheless. “So isn’t that enough?”
“It’s just not right,” Sapnap says. “You belong in my unforgettable experiences, Dream.”
“Don’t go waxing poetic on me, Pandas,” Dream scolds, though it’s hard to take him seriously with both the nickname and the fondness creeping into his voice. 
“I’ll do it,” Sapnap repeats, “sneak you in. I’ll do it and I’ll get away with it and it’ll be fun. For both of us.”
“Sapnap,” Dream tries one last time, and he sounds so tired, so utterly exhausted, that Sapnap cuts him off.
“Fine,” he says, “you win. You’re not going, and I’m going without,” Sapnap swallows, “without you.”
;;
Come the final day to buy tickets, however, and Sapnap is still without one for himself, and without a suit, and without a date, and without a plan on getting to prom. He eyes the ticket booth warily, knowing if he chooses not to buy one today, it’s over for him.
Janson, one of the guys from the egamer group, takes a seat at the lunch table next to him. “Are you going?”
Sapnap stares at the booth for another second before shrugging. “Not really my scene.”
“Your scene?”
“Loud,” Sapnap replies, poking halfheartedly at his soggy rice, switching to the fruit drowning in juice. “Lots of people. I don’t really care.”
“Is it ‘cause you don’t have a date?” Janson asks. “Because yeah, that sucks, but no one actually cares, dude.”
Sapnap glances over at him for a second before shrugging once more and finally taking a bite of his weird blueberry mush. “I know. It’s not ‘cause of that. I just don’t really want to go.”
Janson studies him before nodding and stirring his own blueberry mush around with a spoon. “Suit yourself. We’ll miss you, though.”
At that, Sapnap laughs. “You don’t have to lie for me. But thanks, man.”
Janson gives him an easy smile. “Any time.”
;;
The hardest part is telling Dream.
But Sapnap wasn’t lying when he told Janson prom isn’t his scene. It is a lot—lots of people, lots of noise, lots going on in general. He doesn’t care about nor want that. He’d rather take a quiet night at home watching basketball with his dad on the couch over getting knocked between sweaty girls and guys while bass shakes the floor beneath him. Maybe, if he doesn’t make him too angry, Sapnap can even convince Dream to come over before their scheduled meeting the next day.
He can only hope Dream understands as he types this all out in a late night Discord message explaining what happened. And then he tries to throw himself into a game of CSGO, and when that doesn’t work, a game of League. When that doesn’t work either, he just rises out of his chair and flops pathetically onto his bed, closing his eyes and praying for sleep to come fast.
When he wakes up, it’s to six new messages from Dream—a rare sight—and two missed calls. Sapnap stares at the notifications until his eyes sting.
Dream: i mean, it’s ur choice, but i rly don’t want u to regret this sap
He won’t. 
Dream: and as it turns out, my older sister has something going on this weekend, so we can’t meet up either :( sorry :(
That’s… okay. It’s fine. Sapnap gets it. Just a weekend for himself, then.
Dream: are u sure u don’t want to go? r u sure u’re sure?
Dream: i sound naggy ik i just don’t want u missing out on these things
Dream: ok?
Dream: sap?
Sapnap types his response—he won’t regret it, sucks about this weekend but it’s fine, Dream’s not being naggy, really, and sorry, he was asleep—then hits send and tries not to feel too bad about everything.
Unsurprisingly, “everything” doesn’t include the prom itself. Sapnap really couldn’t care less about the actual prom.
;;
The rest of the week passes by quickly, and before Sapnap knows it, it’s prom night, and he’s sitting on the couch next to his dad, basketball game on the TV and soda can in his hand. And then it’s time for prom to start, and the ball is tossed into the air. Briefly, Sapnap wonders if Janson scored a date—though he consoled Sapnap over his lack of one, he never talked about his own. 
Sapnap wonders what Dream is doing, why they didn’t decide to simply meet up tonight. Maybe he was sleeping? Playing Minecraft? Maybe he was thinking about Sapnap?
Maybe he was thinking about Sapnap.
Sapnap blinks, and the score changes from 12-8 to 12-11. From the other side of the couch, his dad leans closer to the TV. Sapnap sends a glance back to the kitchen, wondering if they still have those chips he likes. His dad crunches on cheddar Ruffles. 
Dream was initially going to go to prom with him. Not, like, as a date—not like that. That’s weird, but… as a friend. Just two guys hanging out together. Maybe they’d match, probably not, but they’d go together and hang out and make fun of the people there, maybe, and they’d eat food that neither of them trusted to be good and they’d see if the punch was spiked and they’d have fun. Together. 
And then Sapnap had checked the school website to find the rules changed. Only students from their school allowed, no exceptions. And Dream was homeschooled in a program completely separate to the school.
It sucked.
And now here Sapnap is, emptily drinking soda and watching a basketball game featuring teams he honestly doesn’t even care about. And thinking about Dream. 
Sapnap downs the rest of his soda. “I think I’m going to go play some League.” He stands and crushes his can in his hand.
His dad doesn’t look away from the TV. “Don’t stay up too late.”
“I won’t,” Sapnap says, but he doesn’t even know if his dad’s heard, since he’s already back in his room, door slammed shut behind him, can tossed into the trash and chair creaking as he falls into it.
Despite his dad’s words, Sapnap games late into the night, and when he wakes, his head hurts from the way he’s had it pressed to the desk, asleep for however many hours. He shakes his computer mouse till the monitor comes on and he stares at it blearily as he realizes he managed to close out of his games before falling asleep. His Discord is empty, no new messages, no missed calls, and he sighs before sending a message to Dream.
Long day?
He closes out of the app before spinning around and heading out of his room to scrounge for breakfast. His dad isn’t in the living room, though the bag of Ruffles he’d been eating from sits there on the coffee table, empty, and the remote still rests on the arm of the couch. Sapnap can only assume he headed to bed after the game ended.
Once in the kitchen, he searches through the fridge before deciding to just eat a bowl or two of cereal. Part of him is still into the fanfare of prom, and he’s filled with a quiet shock at how mundane Sunday morning feels, in comparison to what was likely a crazy night for a bunch of seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds. Sapnap bites back a derisive snort. Last night was so crazy for him. Totally.
But it was his choice, and he doesn’t regret it. 
Now if he had gone, he’d regret that he’d gone without doing everything he could to get Dream there. And that’s a regret he just couldn’t live with. 
Sapnap sets his now empty bowl in the sink.
Skipping prom? Yeah, he doesn’t regret it.
;;
Come two weeks later, and Dream is sitting next to him on a park bench telling him about a different prom, one they can go to together, one without rules, without limitations.
Sapnap doesn’t even need to hear the rest of it before he’s agreeing, throwing an arm around Dream’s shoulders and talking quickly about how great the night will be. 
“It’s actually themed,” Dream finally interrupts him, holding a hand up and stopping Sapnap mid-daydream.
“Oh?”
Dream nods. “Decades. Got any ideas?”
He doesn’t. When he tells Dream as much, Dream sighs, staring out at the empty swingswet, the swings swaying slightly in the summer breeze. Sapnap sighs too, though he watches his friend, not the playground. “We could do, like, Dad Rock. Seventies, y’know?”
At that, Dream laughs, full and loud, and Sapnap smiles by reflex. Dream rests his chin in his palms, elbows digging into the tops of his thighs. “Remember when we read The Outsiders in eighth grade? What were they called? We could be those.”
“Oh,” Sapnap bites back a snort, “uh, greasies? No,” he and Dream speak at the same time, “greasers!” The laugh he’d been keeping down finally breaks free, spilling past his lips as Dream grins. “We could be those. We’re hot.”
“So hot,” Dream agrees, though he’s still giggling slightly, turning away from Sapnap so the other can’t see his smile, but his shaking shoulders give away his amusement.
Sapnap grins, bright, happy. “When is it again?” he asks.
Dream leans back, head tilting back so he can stare up at the clear blue sky. “A month from now. June 7th. Think you can go?”
“Uh, yeah,” Sapnap says, like it’s obvious. (Because it is obvious. Even if he couldn’t, he’d find a way to go. He’s just that loyal. To Dream, specifically, but that’s not important.) He clears his throat at his own thoughts. “I definitely can go.”
Dream looks to him, then, small smile on his face. “Awesome.”
Sapnap smiles back. Awesome.
;;
May trudges on like its stuck in the mud, Sapnap counting down the days until this rule-less prom. Dream was pretty sparing with the details, only saying it’s date and theme, and Sapnap can’t help but itch with the need to know everything. When he questions Dream for more info, however, the other shrugs him off, turning the tables and asking him if he’s settled on a decade yet.
“I thought we were choosing together,” Sapnap tells him over a Discord call one night, prom finally only a week away.
“So nothing?” Dream asks. “Let’s meet up tomorrow; we’ll figure it out then.”
It’s a plan, and come eleven in the morning, he and Dream are meeting outside of the city’s mall. “This feels kind of stupid,” Sapnap admits when they go through the sliding doors leading to Macy’s mens’ department. “Like, wow, we’re really putting effort into it.”
“Says you when there’s only a week left,” Dream replies. “Putting effort into it means having had our costumes in our closets since the day I told you about it.”
“True,” Sapnap replies, picking up a paisley tie from the clearance table. “What is this?”
Dream takes it from him, setting it back down. “Something we definitely don’t want.”
“Yeah,” Sapnap keeps his eyes on it as they walk away, “no shit.”
They don’t buy anything from Macy’s mens’ department. For an hour they wander aimlessly up and down the mall, more time spent talking rather than looking. It’s only until Sapnap’s stomach rumbles that the two of them realize they’ve gotten nothing done. Their feet finally take them to the food court.
“Shopping for a prom outfit is hard,” Sapnap says into his fries, while Dream nods in agreement shoving a chicken nugget into his mouth and staring down at a greasy spot on the table. “I mean, my feet hurt, and we haven’t even bought a t-shirt or something.”
“We haven’t even gone inside a store,” Dream replies.
Sapnap groans, shoving a fry in his mouth. “This is so stupid.”
They walk the mall again, this time going into various stores, pointing out ridiculous gag gifts and Sapnap picking up more hideous ties. Finally, Dream grabs a leather jacket off the Dillard’s clearance rack and tugs it on over his shoulders. It’s military-style, almost, the shoulders strong, and when Dream turns, it stretches broad across his back before tapering off at his waist. Sapnap swallows. It fits Dream well.
When Dream turns back around, Sapnap’s eyes shoot back up to his face, and he hopes his face isn’t as red as it is hot. He grabs the jacket next to it, also a large luckily, and puts it on. Dream gives him a thumbs up when he turns around to show it off.
“Looks good,” Dream says, and his cheeks aren’t red, and Sapnap isn’t disappointed about that.
They buy the jackets, think about what shoes they own, then buy some cheapy black shades.
“I don’t know if I can do my hair like they did,” Sapnap tells Dream when they go back through Macy’s and pass some grooming kits, jars of pomade on the shelf next to them.
“I might be able to,” Dream says, studying his reflection in the mirror on the post next to the grooming kits. He’s always kept his hair cropped pretty close, but Sapnap knows it’s been awhile since he’s gotten it cut, bangs starting to grow in the front, actually almost reaching his brows. Sapnap thinks it suits Dream, but he sees the way Dream always tries to push his hair back, though it always flops back into place.
“Maybe,” Sapnap agrees. “I think the glasses and jacket should be enough if you can’t though, right?”
Dream glances at the jars of pomade before nodding. “Right.”
;;
Dream and him got their licenses at sixteen, but Dream says he can pick Sapnap up Saturday, “don’t worry about gas money.”
“Are you sure?” Sapnap asks Saturday morning, both about the picking-up and the gas money.
“I’m sure,” Dream replies. “Just be out in front of your house before six, okay?”
“Sounds good,” Sapnap says. “You don’t think our parents want any pictures, would they?”
“Of course not,” Dream answers. “Your dad taking pictures of the two of us?”
“My stepmom maybe,” Sapnap laughs, but she left the house that morning, heading to the city to do her own business. She’s not going to get any pictures of them.
Dream laughs too before he finally says, “See you later then,” and Sapnap is left rushing to get dressed.
He feels giddy, almost, heart racing and stomach turning over itself. His hair has grown out much like Dream’s has over the school year, him never bothering to get it cut or trimmed, and he gives up on the pompadour when it comes out a wet looking lump on the top of his head, strings of hair falling in his face. He sighs and rinses out the product in the sink, leaving it to air dry and drip droplets onto his white t-shirt. By 5:45pm, he’s sweating, face flushed and chest tight, stomach still doing flips, and he ties his mostly dry hair back into a low ponytail, hoping it’s not too off-brand. Finally, he pulls on his jacket, though it feels restrictive and hot with the summer air and his nerves, and he has to stare at himself in the mirror for the next ten minutes repeating to himself that it’s just Dream and that it’s not romantic and that he’s acting like a freak, stupid and quite possibly into his best friend. (But he’s not.)
Then he marches himself out to his curb and sits.
Dream pulls up a couple minutes after six, his hair actually done Greaser-style, and damn it, he looks good.
(Sapnap can think that. He’s not blind. Anyone could see that his best friend is attractive. It’s just a general thing. Not a thing.)
When he gets into the passenger seat, Dream grins at him from behind matching dark sunglasses. “Looking good.”
“We look hot, man,” Sapnap says, a lot more casual than he feels.
The grin doesn’t leave Dream’s face as he puts the car in drive and takes off down the road.
Sapnap honestly doesn’t know where his nerves have come from—how is this prom any different from the school one, like, actually? How is Dream and him going to this one any different from them going to the high school’s? They won’t know anyone at this one, he’s pretty sure, but who cares? Isn’t that better for them? He glances over at Dream, who’s got his wrists crossed over the steering wheel as they speed down the highway to their destination.
It’s just Dream. Sapnap is just excited. It’s normal. It’s Dream.
He lets himself relax.
;;
“What the fuck?” Sapnap whispers to Dream when two girls pass by them looking straight out of some period piece. “I thought you said this was decades themed?”
Dream looks just as perturbed, brows furrowed as a girl and a guy dressed like pirates enter after the Victorian girls. “Guess they meant all decades,” he replies.
Sapnap stares at him before they reach the check-in counter where a woman with her face painted like a member of KISS checks their ages and directs them to the room where the prom’s held.
Madonna plays loud over the speakers, and Sapnap eyes a kid who spins his hands around his face while a small group of onlookers watch in awe. He glances over at Dream, who continues to face forward, leading him over to an empty table, undisturbed. When they sit down, Sapnap turns to the dance floor, where the Victorian girls are, twirling and laughing, and where a boy looking straight out of the 80s sways with another who wears a hat like Jamie from Mythbusters and suspenders attached to plaid, fitted pants. Sapnap watches them for another second before turning stiffly to Dream.
“Where are we?” he asks carefully.
“Sapnap,” Dream starts, but a look from Sapnap has his mouth shutting fast. He stares right back before sighing, leaning back in his chair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—I mean, I knew, but I didn’t think it’d—look, we can leave. It’s fine.”
“Well,” Sapnap huffs, dropping his gaze to his lap, where his fingers grip the denim of his jeans tightly, knuckles turning white, “it’s not fine, but—I don’t really want to leave. I like—I wanted to go to prom with you.”
A laugh, and Sapnap looks over quickly to see the 80s boy tugging the Mythbusters hat’s jacket over his shoulders. Sapnap thinks he might be sick.
“Not like that,” he adds.
“Right,” Dream says.
The booming of the bass rattles Sapnap to his core, along with the table. Even the hand Dream has placed on it doesn’t stop it from shaking. Sapnap wonders what would happen if he were to take Dream’s hand. Dream pulls it back and drops it into his lap. Sapnap tightens his hold on his jeans.
“I am sorry,” Dream tells him. “But I didn’t really think you’d mind. We’re friends, Sapnap. Why does where we are have to change that?”
“It doesn’t,” Sapnap replies, but people can misunderstand. People will misunderstand. He tells Dream as much.
Dream frowns, leans forward. Sapnap doesn’t meet his gaze. “Sapnap,” Dream says, “why would they misunderstand?”
Because they match. Because, under the table, their feet knock against each other. Because when Sapnap looks at Dream, the rest of the world disappears, and he’s certain the rest of the world knows it.
“Doesn’t matter,” Sapnap mutters. “They just would.”
Dream says something. It’s lost to the sound of Rihanna, declaring that a bitch better have her money. Sapnap’s foot taps quickly against the floor, and this time, when it brushes up against Dream’s, he readjusts, feet no longer under the table. Dream sighs, resting his chin on his palm. 
Finally, he looks to Sapnap again. “Does it bother you that much?”
“Does what bother me?”
Dream stares at him for a second before looking out at the dance floor. “Them misunderstanding?”
“Doesn’t it bother you?” Sapnap asks.
Dream is silent for so long after that Sapnap almost forgets he’s waiting for a response. “No,” Dream says at last. “It doesn’t.”
Sapnap doesn’t know how to reply to that.
They just sit there after that, watching the crowd wax and wane, change based on the song playing. Dream pushes himself up out of his chair when a familiar number starts. He holds out a hand. “Come on.”
Sapnap stares at the hand. “Dude, he says, “what.”
“Dance,” Dream replies. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“What the fuck?” Sapnap lets out a laugh, glancing over at Mythbusters hat and 80s boy. They’re laughing over something on 80s boy’s phone, foreheads resting close together, cheeks flushed pink in the dim light that hangs over their table. He looks back at Dream. “No way.”
“It’s ‘Come on Eileen,’” Dream says, but Sapnap is resolute, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. They hold a short staring contest before Dream sighs, looking away. Sapnap doesn’t even have the chance to puff up at his W before Dream is reaching forward and taking him by the arm, pulling him out of his seat and to the dance floor.
“Dream!” Sapnap argues, trying to pull away, but Dream’s hold on him is lethal and Sapnap is unwillingly pulled into the circle that’s formed, one arm tugged behind Dream’s back by Dream’s free hand, and the other tossed over a girl’s shoulder. She gives him a bright smile before the circle begins to move, slowly, ever so slowly, then quicker.
It’s like a treadmill, Sapnap thinks, watching his feet and making sure not to step on the girl’s sparkly slippers. Her laugh is loud even with the music blasting and Sapnap starts to gain some of her enthusiasm as the chorus hits. And then a laugh comes from behind him, and he can’t help but look over his shoulder. 
Dream is already grinning at him. Sapnap couldn’t stop himself from grinning back even if he tried. The circle speeds up, and soon Dream is a constant cackle in his ear, Sapnap joining in as the group turns this way and that, before they all jump to a stop and kick a foot in the center.
Sapnap is awkward, slightly off-balance the way he holds on to Dream’s back and leans towards the girl, her shorter than him. He’s running out of breath quick too, kicking quicker and quicker before they’re spinning again and again, all smiling, all laughing, some singing, some panting, and Dream brings their heads closer together as they share one more laugh before the song is fading out, and then it’s just them alone, the others retreating back to their seats or to their own friend groups, just Dream and Sapnap breathing in each other’s exhales.
“That was fun,” Sapnap admits, and Dream nods, arm still around Sapnap’s shoulders, his other one eventually coming up to join it. Sapnap still has an arm around Dream, though it’s slipped so his hand rests at the small of Dream’s back. He swallows.
Dream notices his discomfort, and the smile falls from his face. “Sapnap,” he says.
Sapnap shakes his head. “It’s fine.” His fingers curl into the soft leather of Dream’s jacket. “They can misunderstand.”
I want them to misunderstand.
Sapnap looks up at the same time Dream lets go. “What?” he asks. Dream starts to take a step back, but Sapnap doesn’t let go. “No, you don’t get to—Dream, what did you say?”
“I—,” Dream’s eyes are wide, startled, scared, and Sapnap can’t help but think this isn’t fair. He stares Dream down, and eventually, Dream stares back. When he speaks, he can barely be heard over the music, even with the minimal distance between them. “I want them to misunderstand.”
It’s like he took the words straight from Sapnap’s brain, putting them out there for everyone to hear. Sapnap feels sick, and the feeling only grows when his head falls forward to rest on Dream’s chest. “What the fuck,” he says.
“Sorry,” Dream apologizes above him.
“What—no,” Sapnap’s face screws up, even though Dream can’t see, “you don’t get to apologize, dude. What the hell.” Sapnap feels a weight then on his back, hesitant then heavier. Dream’s hands. He closes his eyes. “What the hell,” he repeats.
“Let’s go back to our table,” Dream says. Sapnap nods, standing up straight, but Dream just pulls him into his side then, and Sapnap thinks about resisting, thinks about getting mad, maybe even leaving (but without a car, without Dream, where would he go?), but in the end, he just lets himself fall more into Dream, the other bearing his weight easily, leading them over to the table they had left.
When they sit, Dream stares down at his hands. Sapnap stares at him. “How long have you known?” he asks.
“About what?” Dream replies.
Sapnap shrugs.
Dream studies him for a second before looking back at his hands. “About myself, since maybe always. About you…?” He smiles then, bitter. “Maybe just as long.”
Sapnap sucks in a breath.
Dream looks over. “What about you?”
“I don’t know,” he answers. “I think—I think I didn’t want to know.”
Dream snorts derisively. “With your dad, I wouldn’t want to know either.”
That gets a laugh out of Sapnap, but it’s dry, empty. “Hey,” he defends his dad halfheartedly, “my dad isn’t that bad.”
The bitter smile on Dream’s lips twists into downright acidic.
Sapnap sighs. “I’m glad it’s you.”
Dream looks at him. Sapnap stares back.
“You’re my best friend,” he tells him. “I can tell you anything.”
“Me too,” Dream replies. “I’m glad it’s you too.” And then he frowns, looking out over the crowd. “But I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
Sapnap is too, but he doesn’t tell the other that. Instead, he shrugs. “Could be worse,” he says. “I could hate you right now. But I don’t. I think I feel about you how you feel about me.” The last sentence is hard to get out, like bile in his throat. He hopes Dream doesn’t realize that.
When Dream smiles at him, then, he guesses he doesn’t. “I,” Dream looks back down at his hands, “like you, Sapnap.”
And that’s the truth, isn’t it? Dream likes Sapnap, and Sapnap likes Dream. Now Sapnap just needs to figure out what to do with that.
“I like you too,” he says, and Dream turns to him, eyes wide, as if they hadn’t established this already—maybe, for Dream, they hadn’t, “but I don’t know—I don’t know if this is good for us, Dream.”
“We’re best friends,” Dream starts to respond, but Sapnap cuts him off.
“Exactly.” He pulls his jacket tighter. “I don’t want to lose that.”
“We don’t have to,” Dream replies. “Why can’t we be both?”
“Why isn’t what we are already enough?” Sapnap argues. “I can’t afford to lose you, Dream. You’re my favorite person.”
“You wouldn’t lose me,” Dream denies. “You’re the one that was willing to cut me from your life for losing.”
“We were ten,” Sapnap scowls. “That’s not the same.”
Dream doesn’t reply. He knows it’s not.
The upbeat ABBA song playing does not match the mood that’s settled over their table. Sapnap drags his shoe along the floor. Dream drums his fingers against the table.
“Should we have not said anything then?” Dream asks. “Do we act like this never happened? Because I don’t know if I can do that.”
Sapnap doesn’t think he can either. Nonetheless, he shrugs.
Dream huffs. “Look,” he says, “you’re my best friend. I like you. If we stay friends, I’ll still like you. If we become more,” he swallows, squaring his shoulders, “and that doesn’t work, we’ll still be friends in the end. Okay?”
Sapnap doesn’t entirely believe him, but when he meets Dream’s gaze, Dream looks so determined, so resolute, that Sapnap finds himself echoing an okay. Then the clouds part, and Dream smiles. Sapnap tries to smile back.
The ABBA song ends and a much more recent pop song begins to play, but neither of them move, choosing instead to sit in a still silence that leaves Sapnap wondering what Dream is thinking.
Sapnap squeezes his eyes shut, shoving his curiosity aside to instead gaze out at the dance floor. The girl that was next to him in the circle bounces around three other teenagers, light-colored hair a kaleidoscope of colors in the everchanging club lights. When she spots Sapnap staring, she smiles, throwing up a peace sign. Sapnap gives her a small wave. Their eyes stay locked for another second before she makes a little motion towards Dream and Sapnap looks at him, only to find Dream already looking back. Sapnap sighs before rising from his chair.
“Your turn,” he says, hand already extended out towards the other.
Dream doesn’t hesitate in grabbing his hand and letting Sapnap pull him up.
Sapnap leads them to the dance floor, fully prepared to halfheartedly bop his head to the song playing, but then—and of course it’s just his luck—the minute he steps onto the wooden panels, the song changes to something mellow… and slow.
So very slow.
He turns to Dream, eyes wide in alarm, but all Dream does is smile.
“Don’t back out now,” he says.
Sapnap glares at him. “You wish.”
Dream laughs before putting a hand on Sapnap’s waist and an arm around his neck. Sapnap lets out a harsh breath but doesn’t pull away, just follows Dream’s lead, pulling him close. The emcee is saying something probably absolutely humiliating, but Sapnap ignores the queen (oh God, the emcee is a drag queen, how did he not realize that upon walking in?) in favor of focusing on Dream, on not stepping on his toes, on not bumping into other dancers, on not getting lost in the other’s eyes, however stereotypical it may be.
Dream lowers his head until their foreheads almost touch, and Sapnap is painfully reminded of 80s boy and Mythbusters hat. He looks down to the floor.
“Pandas,” Dream whispers, and Sapnap curses his heart for jumping.
“What?” he replies, still looking down.
“Look at me,” Dream urges.
Sapnap shakes his head, but then the arm around Sapnap’s neck becomes just a hand, and then that hand is traveling up, up over his neck, to his ear, fingers curling around his jaw, forcing Sapnap’s gaze from the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Dream says.
Sapnap finds himself stuck staring into Dream’s eyes. “Why?”
“You didn’t go to prom because I wouldn’t be there, and now we’re at a prom together, and you’re not having fun because I’m here.” His thumb strokes across Sapnap’s cheek—Sapnap hopes he can’t feel the heat under his skin. “So I’m sorry.”
“I’m having fun,” Sapnap replies, automatic.
“Because having me confess me to you and forcing you to dance with me and taking you to a fucking,” he breaks their gaze only to look around demonstratively, “gay prom is fun for you.”
But even with his reply being automatic, Sapnap finds it true. It’s not conventional, and he’s felt vaguely nauseous this entire time, but the dance circle was fun, and just standing here with Dream, swaying back and forth, it’s fun too. And there’s something nice about having everything out in the open. He and Dream like each other.
Wait.
He and Dream like each other. He and Dream like each other. Dream likes him.
“You like me,” Sapnap whispers.
Dream still hears him. “Yeah,” he replies, easy, “I like you a lot.”
“I think I missed that,” Sapnap says, louder. “You like me.”
Dream stares at him. “Yes,” he replies. “I like you.”
Sapnap stares back before he removes his hand from Dream’s waist to put it on his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of Dream’s t-shirt as Sapnap tugs him down into a kiss. Dream’s lips are surprisingly soft for the amount of times Sapnap has caught Dream biting at them, and Dream himself is surprisingly gentle when he brings his other hand up from Sapnap’s waist to cradle his jaw. Sapnap lets out a quiet exhale when they pull apart.
Dream is looking at him, but his gaze is distant, his mind somewhere far away.
Sapnap lets go of his shirt to shove him slightly. “Dream?” he asks, wondering if he might’ve just ruined everything, despite Dream’s insistence that a change in their relationship wouldn’t affect their friendship.
“I think people might misunderstand us now,” Dream says.
Sapnap can’t help it—he laughs. “You think?” And then Dream is laughing too, pulling him in for another kiss even as the song changes and the floor becomes crowded with everyone else coming to dance.
The tension now broken, neither of them suggest leaving the dance floor.
;;
By the time the prom is ending, Sapnap’s feet hurt, and he’s sure his lips are red from the amount of times Dream has kissed him. They’re both giddy with teenage excitement, and Dream is singing a pathetic rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody,” words slurring together and pitch way off.
Sapnap laughs as Dream knocks their heads together, pushing him away with one hand while the other wraps around his waist to pull him closer. “You sound so bad.”
“You love it,” Dream murmurs into his ear, and Sapnap grins even as his cheeks flare red.
“You wish,” he replies.
“I most definitely wish,” Dream says, head now tilted to rest atop Sapnap’s own.
“Did you drink?” Sapnap asks, suspicious, though he’s pretty sure he and Dream only got water. “Are you drunk?”
“You know I’d never drink,” Dream replies before the most shit-eating grin takes over his face. “Actually, I’m just drunk on love.”
Sapnap rolls his eyes. “Now you’re just acting stupid.”
“But I mean it.”
Sapnap looks at him. Dream looks back. Sapnap shakes his head as they reach Dream’s car. “Don’t be dumb.”
“Okay, so maybe not like… love love, but I love you, Sapnap.” Dream leans against the door. “And it could turn into love love one day. If you let it.”
Sapnap stares at him. Dream stares back.
“It’s just a possibility,” he says, hand coming up to pat Sapnap’s cheek. Sapnap continues to stare until Dream leans forward to bump their noses together. “I won’t bring it up again.”
“Next month,” Sapnap finally replies. “Bring it up next month.” He pushes himself away from Dream to go to the passenger side. “Now unlock the car. It’s hot as fuck out here.”
;;
The car ride is spent in an easy silence, though Dream keeps glancing over at Sapnap every once in a while, always looking on the verge of saying something.
Finally, Sapnap snaps. “What is it?”
Dream has clearly been waiting to be asked. “You said next month.”
Sapnap frowns. “Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”
“So we’ll still be together next month?”
Sapnap’s eyes narrow. “Are you assuming we’re together now?”
“Yes.”
Fuck. He’s right to assume that. So much for Dream being the one to forget their friendship in order to pursue a relationship. Dream knows him too well. (It’s perfect.)
“I love you too,” Sapnap says. “As a friend.” He looks out the window. “But it could be love love one day too.”
He doesn’t need to look over to know Dream is grinning, and when a finger brushes his own over the glovebox, not asking for permission but not not asking for permission, Sapnap can’t stop a grin of his own from spreading across his face and lets Dream lock their hands together.
;;
A knock on the door startles Sapnap in the middle of his studying. He looks up from his notes to see Dream leaning in the open doorway.
Sapnap raises a brow. “Since when have you knocked?”
“Since British exchange students started chewing me out whenever I’d come in without knocking.” Dream smiles at him before looking into the room, green eyes searching.
“George isn’t going to jump out at you from behind the door,” Sapnap says, stretching out in his chair before rising to properly greet his boyfriend. “Besides, he likes you; he’s just a bitch.”
“Of course a bitch like you would say that,” George interrupts, his small frame almost invisible behind Dream, who turns around with a guilty look on his face. “Hi, Dream,” George says, shoving past him to toss his bag in his desk chair and collapse onto his bed. “I don’t like you, by the way.” He lifts his head slightly to look between Dream and Sapnap. “Either of you. I hate you guys.”
“We hate you too,” Sapnap replies cheerily before grinning at Dream and pulling him down into a kiss that Dream eagerly returns.
“Can you not?” George asks, even though they all know he doesn’t really care. “I already feel single enough, thanks.”
“Like you could ever feel single,” Dream teases. “You know nearly everyone here is into you.”
George pushes himself up onto his elbows to stick out his tongue. Dream sticks his own out too.
Sapnap laughs before picking his keys up from off his desk and checking that his wallet is in his pocket. “We’re heading out,” he tells George, who hums and nods, flopping back onto the bed. “Let me know if you want us to pick you up dinner.”
“That’s so sweet of you, Sapnap,” George says, “to go out of your way just to get dinner for me. I didn’t realize I mean that much to you.”
“You mean the world to me, George,” Sapnap replies, even as his hand links with Dream’s and George flips him off. “But seriously, we’ll get you something if you want.”
“It’s fine.” George waves a hand. “Go be in love or whatever. Better somewhere else than where I can see it.”
“True, true,” Sapnap says, even though his favorite hobby nowadays is antagonize George, which sits right under spend time with Dream. 
They leave the Brit alone to head out to Dream’s car, and it’s there that Sapnap finds them imitating the pose they had the night of prom. He hides his smile in Dream’s neck as Dream wraps his arms around his shoulders.
“Hey, Sap,” Dream says.
“Yeah?”
“Remember how you said ‘next month’?”
Sapnap lifts his head slightly to look through the car window. “Yeah.”
“Well, it’s been next month, and then it was the month after that, and the one after that, and then there was—”
Sapnap barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. “I love you, Dream. Now let go of me; I really am hungry right now.”
“Right, of course. Of course,” Dream releases him, “but for the record, I love you too. Like, love love.”
Sapnap shoves him even as a smile begins to show at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I love love you too.”
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yoditorian · 4 years ago
Text
lacuna- part 7
din/reader
cooking is my love language so i made it rebel’s too (as ever, thank you to my love my life @brothersdrxke for being my shara) 💛 there’s rly only two more parts after this huh
series masterlist // main masterlist
word count: 2.7k
warnings: i don’t think there’s any swears in this one but just to be on the safe side, rebel has PTSD although it’s more suggested than actually experienced there’s a couple of moments that are shaky, softness and domesticity or just sadness?, sadness, the usual type of smut, 18+ no babies thanks
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“No.”
At least Colonel Cintass has the decency to look surprised, he blanches when you show no sign of joking and sits up a little straighter. 
“If it’s a question of pay or location, both are negotiable. There’s academies all over the Inner and Mid rim, you’ll have your pick of the lot and a promotion if you accept.” He’s clutching at all the straws he has at his disposal, but you don’t budge. He huffs when you say nothing and asks, albeit agitatedly, what your plans are instead.
“Maybe I’ll go private. Pays well, I can do what I want-”
“There’s no glory in the private sector.” Cintass interrupts you, and your eyebrows furrow further.
“And there is here? If you joined up for glory, Colonel, I don’t think you should be calling the shots.” You’re right and you both know it. You’re all too familiar with the friends who’ve retired to find something quieter, and with the officers who spent their Rebellion days discussing facts and figures with politicians. People who’d never been on the front lines in the thick of it, never even seen a firefight, now in charge of fresh faced cadets and veterans with too many demons to feel like they belong anywhere else. You won’t stay here, not for any longer than it takes to pack your things.
You pulled out of Green Squadron the day after Shara told you she was retiring, the last of the original crew, you hadn’t wanted to fly any more missions without her. At least the Colonel heard you out and didn’t argue. He’d let you stay on as a temporary mechanic, while you figured out what it was you wanted to do. Although, now it’s clear he fought to keep you so he could get things in place to offer you a teaching job. 
It’s a good position, in all honesty. Miles better pay than you’ll get for the same job anywhere else, the choice to relocate to any of the shiny New Republic Navy training centres across the galaxy. But you can’t look a bunch of teenagers in the eye and tell them that this is everything they hope for. Not when the war chewed you up and spit you out the way it did. The scars on your back ache at the thought of it. 
Shara finds you in the hangar, loading up a couple of bags into your A-Wing’s pitiful storage compartment. All your belongings, your whole life, packed up and ready to go wherever you decide to take them.
“I don’t think you’re gonna be able to live in there.” 
“Ah, I’ll get a couple of hanging plants, maybe put up some curtains,” You smile at her from the top of the ladder, “Could be cosy.”
You know why she’s here. Not to talk you into accepting the teaching job, she knows you better than that. The idea was one she’d had right after she and Kes had found the old farm on Yavin IV, in need of a little tlc and a lot of patience, it was the perfect spot for them to raise their boy. And the little house further down the track, right at the edge of their land, was the perfect spot for you.
“I’m not saying you have to stay there forever,” She starts when you open your mouth to decline again, “I’m saying that when you need some solid ground under your feet, you don’t have to go looking for it.”
“Shara-”
“We’re family. You will always have a home with us.” It’s final. Non-negotiable. And something about the look in her eye makes you want to cry just a little bit. You think about the collection of scribbles tucked carefully away in one of your bags, the more recent ones at least are a little easier to distinguish as people. Four multi-coloured potatoes with legs. As far as little Poe is concerned, he agrees with his mother. 
You hop down the ladder and pull Shara tightly to you, maybe tighter than you have before. Because you’ve never really had a home, not a place you ever felt was worthy of such a title. But here she is, offering one to you like it’s nothing. 
“So, where are you off to now?” She asks when you finally have the strength to let her go. Both of your eyes are a little watery, but neither of you mentions it.
“Well, I turned down Cintass so it's up in the air. I’ve got some old contacts, so as long as they’ve forgiven me I can get a little income before I have to make any concrete decisions.” You don’t tell her exactly who the contacts are. Something about the way she raises her eyebrow makes you wonder if she’s already guessed where you’re going.  
It feels strange, guiding your A-Wing out of the hangar for the last time. You hope it's the last time. At least you had enough put by to get Green Four decommissioned and released to you, it might have been a little more difficult than you’d initially thought if you had to leave the ship behind. She’s old and you’ve put her through hell, but she’s yet to let you down.
You’re not overly surprised that your comm signal goes unanswered. You weren’t exactly the most gracious guest on your last visit. But you don’t get shot up on your approach, so maybe your old friends are feeling a little more amicable nowadays.
“Impressive.” Ran says when you hop out of the cockpit, helmet under one arm and a sheepish smile on your face.
“She used to be.” You know he’s already calculating how much he can get for it, or whether he wants to strip it for parts. Your heart aches at the thought of it but there’s not a lot you can do. If letting go of your starfighter is what gets you back on the team, then it’s what’ll have to happen. Even if it hurts.
Ran gestures at a couple of new crewmates, a Devaronian and a human, and you selfishly hope you won’t have to work too closely with them. There’s an insignia on the shoulder of the human’s jacket, one you don’t want to examine too closely for fear you’re right. He’s about to offer you your old room when the shooting starts.
The men are taking turns at a set of old side panels, blaster bolts melting the old steel on contact, and you know that. You flinch before you can stop yourself. Ran watches you suspiciously, but he says nothing. Before the war, you would never have even batted an eyelid at a little target practice. You probably would have been in the thick of it, laughing and betting and not watching your friends die over and over in your mind.
“You stink of soldier.” Xi’an sneers, although she means it more as an observation than an accusation. You don’t disagree, only shrug, and your hand hovers warily over your holster as you watch the shooting competition. Just in case.
“Where’s Qin?” You ask once your heartbeat returns to normal. Anger flashes across Xi’an’s face as Ran explains he’d outsourced a job a few years ago, and Qin hadn’t made it back. It’s unexpected, the odd way you find yourself a little disappointed. Even though he’d been cold with you on your last visit, even though you’d bickered and been at each other’s throats more than once. Qin had been a friend once, a lifetime ago. You suppose that’s exactly the problem.
“Are you still terrible at throwing?” Xi’an asks, and the awkward tension finally melts away. Her wicked smile returns and you find yourself mirroring it.
“I’m a little better.” You say. Although you’re still certain she’ll wipe the floor with you, it’s nice to see at least somebody around here missed you. It’s about as close to a confession as you’ll ever get from Xi’an. You’d be an idiot not to take the olive branch she’s so selflessly holding out in front of you. Maybe you won’t be so alone on the station after all.
Din’s wondering about you, some part of him always is, as he looks at the new pucks in his hands. A couple of humans, a mythrol, and a chiss. None of them should cause him too much trouble, but none of their last known locations are exactly close. He settles on one of the humans, last seen in the Yavin system, and tells himself it’s because he can stock up on supplies for some of the more long haul flights the new assignments will take him on. Definitely not because he could stand to be around people who might remind you of him, even just a little. Definitely not because he misses you.
Din watches you from across the market, chatting animatedly with a dark haired woman he’s half-certain he’s met before. The way she leans so casually, so naturally, against your shoulder as she laughs makes his ribcage ache. He wants that with you, always has. He wants to be able to take you to places like these. To hold you close in front of throngs of people and meet your old friends. He shouldn’t even be here.
The Armourer’s words still echo in his ears. He is responsible for the covert, their hardest working hunter. He cannot, should not, waste thought on times past. 
He shouldn’t be here.
But it’s too late.
Your eyes zero in on him, abandoning the conversation, and your friend follows your gaze. Din takes that as an invitation, slowly making his way towards the two of you in the shadow of a baker’s stall. The crowds part, as they always do, and for the first time he finds himself wishing they wouldn’t. You might have a life here, for all he knows. It’s been long enough. You deserve one, really. To have a home. To feel loved all the time, to not have to wonder. And then he’s there, in front of you, just staring. What are either of you even supposed to say?
A small boy peers around your hip, looking up at him in wonder. Too old to be yours, if he remembers correctly, but for a moment his heart seizes. You rest your hand in the kid’s curls, absentmindedly ruffling them. You’ve always fiddled when you’re nervous. 
“We should probably get home, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” The woman clears her throat, snapping the sudden tension into shards. Din’s careful not to cut himself on the edges. 
You nod enthusiastically, every language you know still lodged uncomfortably in your throat, and wrap an arm around her shoulders for a brief goodbye hug. She calls the boy after her as she leaves, their matching black curls bouncing when she heaves him up onto her shoulders.
“Shara,” You say, watching the two disappear into the waning crowd, “She teaches some of the older kids piloting basics. I help out when I’m here, mechanics mostly.”
“You find somewhere to settle?”
You shake your head. Give him some vague answer about drifting where the wind takes you. He doesn’t need to know you went crawling back to the only thing you knew before the war. It’s quiet for a moment, and even though you’re standing in the middle of the market, it’s as though you’re the only two people on the whole street. Din’s floundering for something to say, something to keep you here for just another minute, until you break the silence and save him. Just like you always do.
“When was the last time you ate something that wasn’t a ration pack?” 
Even with the way he treated you last time, you’re still showing him the kindness you always have. He’s still not sure he deserves it. 
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on.” You take his silence as an answer, and start towards an alleyway between two buildings. Din follows you without hesitation, and the path opens up to a small parking lot half-full of different speeder models. You lead him to an older one, yellow paint faded and scratched, and drop your bag in the backseat. He falters a little when you climb in and gesture to the seat beside you.
“Unless you wanted to sit in the back.” Your smirk is warm, familiar. It hurts to look at. So he hops in and settles on the front bench because he’s not sure he can bear to watch you look at him like that much longer.
The little home down the dusty farm track is not somewhere he ever expected you to call your own. You’ve always seemed like you should be on a background of stars, a hyperspace lane, not somewhere this domestic. At least that way he wouldn’t be consumed, so suddenly, with a very real idea of staying. 
You just look so comfortable, bathed in the low light of the afternoon sun through the windows, pulling vegetables out of a fridge covered head to toe in kid’s drawings. The little boy from the market, presumably. And it makes his ribcage ache to know that this too, is something that’ll always be missing from his every day. He won’t get to sit at your kitchen table and watch you fuss over a pot of stew, or have you slide up behind him and kiss his shoulder as he follows your favourite recipe. 
It’s the best stew he’s ever had. Easily. The sun has disappeared behind Yavin, bathing the whole moon in an odd red glow as he eats. The helmet seems to glare at him from the middle of your kitchen table. You’d ducked into the bedroom to eat before he could even suggest that you take the kitchen. Another sacrifice you’ve made for him. What does that make the number now?
His gloves stay on the table while he washes the dishes, at his insistence. Although you’d put up a little bit of a fight. Din doesn’t bother to pick them up when he passes the table, when he appears in your bedroom doorway and you look up from your datapad like it’s the most natural thing in the galaxy. 
You’ve pulled the curtains, shut the world out, and the room is plunged into darkness when you flick the lightswitch by the head of your bed. 
You’re expecting the warmth of his skin on yours when he finally finds his way to you in unfamiliar space. He always sheds his armour so silently. You don’t expect him to take your hands in his, and raise them to the sides of his helmet.
The breath catches in your throat, you know he can hear it. His fingers tremble slightly over yours but he doesn’t waver. He settles them both solidly on either side of his helmet, and guides you for a moment. Your hands follow the rest of the way when he drops his to your waist, you set it carefully on the bedside table and turn back to him. He’s not stupid. He knows you can’t actually see him. But it feels like every barrier between you is finally, melted away. And Din can lay you back on the bed as himself. 
It’s strange to have him in a space that’s become yours. Knowing that in the dark his helmet is sitting on a bedside table next to a picture frame of you and Green Squadron. That he probably saw every drawing Poe’s ever scribbled for you stuck to your fridge. But you force yourself to forget that. You shove it right down until there’s no room in your head for anything but the way he’s clinging to you. Until he is all you know.
“Tell me you don’t love me.” You’re almost asleep when the traitorous words slip out. 
Oh, you think you’re clever. You think you’re leaving him no choice but to confess. You think this is where things finally, finally, start to go your way. They don’t.
“I don’t love you.”
No differently than if he was recounting the weather forecast. And it hurts. But you don’t have it in you to run, to cry, to be angry with him at all. Instead, you fall back down to press your cheek against the warmth of his bare chest, defeated. He holds you there until you’re sleeping.
-
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amazingphilza · 4 years ago
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DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS
i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]
,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL
also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3
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character origin :
previous life was the l’mantree :D
allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)
reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree
i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]
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appearance :
my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue
clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms
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lore / history :
since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree
after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg
however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point
i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters
but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character
i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,
he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))
vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos
i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions
“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos
but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need
i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it
but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory
unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...
to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot
not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg
he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people
connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur
i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?
like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?
i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions
but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth
in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with
like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough
but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,
maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person
ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,
surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead
but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,
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personality :
to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side
however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out
in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding
i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions
i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though
schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j
because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical
i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves
maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people
like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)
i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived
everything is a constant blur hehe
i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!
in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people
but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”
we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,
but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream
there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth
like who am i really?
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powers , bonuses , etc :
since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???
i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well
maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff
assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—
i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows
seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)
like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general
you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)
i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool
i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO
omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow
also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j
i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—
since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj
i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree
like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now
he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it
not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway
canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj
also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D
also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff
and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj
apples am i right chat,,,,,
i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples
“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j
ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere
like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc
i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting
oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???
i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch
also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,
big existential crisis pls
and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg
lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j
oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]
ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything
not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost
yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D
like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?
tubbo’s gangnam style who?
like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future
on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows
also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff
anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO
and lastly if u read all of this ily /p
i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya
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