#i should start a snail and worm wall like you

[faithdeans]

i love you so so sooo much 💖💖💖

[chuluoyi]

Chu!! Noo it's fine I enjoy talking to youuuu

HAHHA well what can I say? I just love Lukey! Aww hope you'll get a good break soon! When are you taking your 1 week off?

FR Unholy blood is unbeatable 💪🏻💪🏻

OMG SAME but for me it's either I end up liking the guy or hating him... Like for Gojo and Callisto I was like "Omg they're so hot but why are they so full of themselves?!" at first. Then after some time I ended up liking them HAHA- And omg ikr his hair >>>>> It's the side-swept hair that adds on to his looks. AHAAH LIKE Vinter is actually nice and all but he has so little screen time!

Thanks Chu!! Hehe I love beaches! And I have this childish obsession with picking seashells oops- Aww... You don't have to know how to swim to enjoy the beach tho! I don't like beaches cause I want to get tanned or play beach volleyball, it's more of the scenery that draws me in! Plus the sea creatures!

YEAH the leaks broke me... 2 Panels but I miss him sm now...

Yepp! But I'm unsure if I chose the right path... Like my interests are more arty like I love reading, writing, drawing, music, etc. But I chose a business course hahaha. There's no turning back for me too.... LOL A WALKING STICK 😭😭 AHAHH your teacher tho! My secondary school made it mandatory to have skirts at knee-level too... But I didn't change my skirt for the 4 years I was in school so as I grew taller over the years my skirt just naturally went above my knees... My teacher did scold me for that tho, I just didn't care...

FR like bros why don't you guys try putting on makeup bruh. Like y'all judge us girls as if you guys are hot asf... If you guys WERE that hot I wouldn't even complain about you talking shit about us girls... But you aren't so f off.

RIGHT My mum and I couldn't stop laughing omg It's easily one of the best comedy K-drama I've watched! Yeah omg "See you in my 19th life" Webtoon was great but after ep 1 of the drama I stopped cause it was honestly disappointing... "Good day to be a dog" is good tho! Not Shin Hyesun but this and "See you in my 19th life" are by the same webtoon artist!

Oh damn Gojo figurines never fail to impress... Did you see the new one with the skeletons and all? It's the one where he's been sealed and the skeletons just all around him. He's super hot there like I almost wanted to start being a Gojo simp...

I somehow want to go back to school... I've been swamped with housework and miscellaneous stuff that I'm so close to losing my mind... Thinking about New year's makes me want to pull my hair out... And Chinese New year is in Feb too... I'm so doomed for the next few months...

30 isn't that bad! Hahaha I feel you mate... I flunked my end semester test and it pulled my A all the way to C+ AHAHAH my GPA really suffered from that... Eh that 'interesting' doesn't sound too convincing 🥲🥲 How did you survive that class omg Chu ...

Hmmm that makes sense! I'll keep your words in mind. 😭😭It's always the luck.... Our gacha luck sucks too... I think we should avoid taking risks yeah?

HAAHAHAH I just enjoy solving the qns! I prefer math to the rest of the weird stuff I used to take... I had English, Chinese, elementary math, Additional math, Chem, Bio, History, Social studies, Accounting, Literature. It's real disgusting I tell you. Algebra really made my life slightly better in Secondary school... Omg 😭Fr Bio is really not easy I don't get how people get A+ in that like your memory must be crazy good. SO TRUE Chem is complicated at times but if you compare that to bio... sigh...

YAAA Omg I have a soft spot for sea animals (Not snails and worms tho) Especially baby ones like ahhhh they're so cute 😭😭

Nahh it's not my room walls I'm painting... It's my whole living room... Like 4 walls.... I didn't want to do it but my mum forced me to soooo I didn't really have a choice hahah!

Also Merry Christmas!!! I know I'm slightly late but 😭😭 Hope you had a good rest!

-🪩

discoo anoon!!🫶🏻 finally i can sit in front of my laptop!!🥹

i'm taking my break in mid january!! i just have to bc if not then i'll surely go mad with how little i'm taking my leave🤧 like i still have so many leave balance too! lately i've been thinking "why am i so tired"😵‍💫 and when i look at the whopping number of my leave balance, i realize "this is why i'm so miserable i barely take any leave!"🤡

HAHAHAHA same same i didn't use to love gojo the way i do now if you can believe it. but he's so charismatic in the way he presents himself that's why... and HAIR it's so true the hair makes the looks, especially for men🤭

omg me tooo!!! i love finding seashells too! but i hate the way the sand would submerge my feet🤧 it's stupid but i'm afraid of a crab or something will bite my feet off ugh and yeah, so true the scenery is one of the points that make us want to go to the beach too!!

ah... i don't mean to presume but i once felt like that too. i chose engineering as my major, and yet i'm neither that good or bad at it, and neither do i like it (i hate it occasionally)😔 my interests are more in reading and writing too! and obviously i can't go back to restart my major bc my mom would hang me🤧 i once had 0 thoughts as to where and how i should get a job, and yet now i found the best job there is for me, unexpectedly, that's (thank god) not related to engineering at all! i don't think it's easy at first, we'll get lost and even doubt ourselves often, but i believe that by doing the best at what you do, we'll find a way somehow, and it's always the unexpected that's the best <3 <- this is my words of encouragement!! i don't mean to preach or anything bc when i was in that position, i wished someone would say those exact words to me :')

BUT FR I FELT LIKE A WALKING SUSHI ROLL😭😭 thank the gods the teacher don't realize it. but omg that's nice that you're tall! :') i'm short so yeah, i'm still a walking sushi roll

HAHAHAHAHAAH i wish i could say all of that to their faces! i did say some of it to them though, about "you don't get to say that when you're that lousy yourself"🙃 but yeah, in the end, to each their own. it's irritating but we have to protect our peace first🤧

my mom loves her too!🥹 ahahahha oh really?! i put off watching a good day to be a dog bc i heard the ratings aren't that good... maybe i'll watch it then! now i'm watching gyeongseong creature! it's a good watch, kinda like sweet home, a bit dark and sinister but it's park seojoon!👀 and his dramas never fail ehehehe do you watch it too??

I SAW THAT FIGURINE omg that can be preordered now but will be released in 2025? i was like whaaat that long? but yeah, i want to be the skeletons—

OMG SOOO TRUE🤧 new years and our traditions :') now my mom is fussing over stocking food and getting new sheets and tomorrow i'm accompanying her to... stock up more food. and so true about the chinese new year! ahahahha i celebrate it too and it's a bit of a hassle esp with the family questions, but don't worry! we just have to keep our eyes on the prize... the 红包 :3 more pocket money!!😈

i know the feeling! like one mistake and the A... dissolved🤧 it's so disheartening. how did i pass?😦 by sending my prayers and confessing my sins daily basically🤧😵‍💫

yes yes!!

omg you're so smart for that!! and i do agree those are weird stuff HAHAHA literature got me like questioning my phrasing sometimes i was like 🤯 am i dumb bc i’m lazy or am i lazy bc i’m dumb— okay nevermind🫢

SNAILS AND WORMS😭 yes baby seals are like aaaaaa so precious🥲🫶🏻

AHAHAHHA it must have been a good exercise though!!🥹

and ofc merry christmas too disco anon!!🫶🏻✨ and happy holidays too!! wishing you only the best for the upcoming year also! pls keep healthy and don’t forget to take breaks and drink water🫶🏻✨

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper Pt. 8

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader Warnings: none? Length: 2.1k Notes: I’m sorry, Cyn, I know I said there would be smut but I was just enjoying the slow burn too much. And I just feel like these two NEED this. Not me nervous to write about his p in her v, nooope. Also, I’m wine drunk and did not spell check this bitch, have fun with that. Divider by @firefly-graphics

Series MASTERLIST

The day of the fair had finally arrived and you woke with more than a little excitement churning in your stomach. Multiple meetings at the community center had given you a chance to meet more of the town's population and you'd gained a deeper appreciation for them. Small towns afforded very few entertainments, which had resulted in some of the older kids, driven by boredom, getting into trouble. Minor things like graffiti and trespassing, but the community knew if they weren't careful that things could escalate. So, instead of making the kids feel judged or harshly reprimanded, the town was working towards better programs and facilities to keep them busy.

It was an unseasonably beautiful Autumn day, the kind that carried memories of Summer on the warm breeze. Knowing that cold and snow were just around the corner, these "second summers" made people act a little more recklessly and freely than they usually might. You had a feeling that the crowds tonight were going to be bigger and rowdier than anyone could have hoped for.

Jacquie had stopped by later to offer you a ride to town but you had just sent your baking with her, insisting that you wanted to enjoy the sunshine and bicycle in.

Once you'd entered the main square you were blown away by the effort from the town. Banners, balloons, streamers, and posters were everywhere. A stage for musical acts and a ticket booth had been built and donated by Hank's Hardware, food carts selling anything and everything you could deep-fry were scattered down every road. Carnival games had been set up in rows down multiple, closed-off, streets, as well as people setting up face-painting, balloon animals, and a smaller version of the Saturday Farmer's Market. The high school football field had even been converted to a tiny amusement park with a Ferris Wheel, carousel, and swing ride.

It was still early, and there was still a lot to do before the fair would be open, but the excitement was already palpable. After making sure your pies had been marked down for the auction, you beelined for the water gun race game that you and a lovely woman named Heather had been assigned to operate. 

Too preoccupied with making sure you had the water tanks filled, the pumps were working, and your ticket box was in place you didn't notice how some of the other volunteers were acting strangely, making sidelong glances and meaningful head nods. 

Nothing seemed amiss once Heather had joined you. In fact, you were getting along with her so well the two of you had already made plans to meet for coffee the next day.

Soon, the fair was in full swing. The games booths were a popular stop with families and you were having the time of your life cheering for every child who tried their hand at your game. 

Eventually, there was a natural lull in the festivities as fair-goers drifted from the games towards the food and live entertainment. You were just suggesting making a quick snack run when Heather's phone rang. 

"Sorry, one sec, it's my husband," she grimaced, holding her finger up to stop you from leaving.

In a bid to give her a modicum of privacy, you tallied up the tickets and bunched them into coils for easier counting later. Heather's normally calm voice rose in pitch and urgency, drawing your attention back to her in time to see a look of alarm and annoyance cross her face.  

"What do you mean, burned? Like, burned burned? There's smoke?! Oh, honey, what on earth..." she paused, listening to her husband's voice some more, giving you an eye roll that clearly said 'Men. They're hopeless' and interrupted whatever he had been saying. "Alright, alright. It's slowing down here so I can run home."

Putting her phone back in her purse, Heather turned to you with a huff. "He's burnt dinner, and it sounds like my skillet is toast, too. I'm sorry to do this to you but I need to run to the store and bring dinner home. I've got the only car, so they're stuck."

Assuring her you could manage on your own, you shooed her away and told her to take her time.

Walking backward to wave goodbye, Heather kept spouting numerous apologies and promising she'd make it up to you on your coffee date. Giving one last smile she spun around and immediately ran into old Mrs. Crawley who was being escorted by no other than a very bored and trapped-looking Frankie Morales.

"Oh! Mrs. Crawley! So sorry!" She began, steadying the white-haired octogenarian, "I'm being called home, ditching my post, gotta run, bye!" With that, she was gone, weaving her way through the crowd of people.

Mrs. Crawley had glanced over at you when Heather had mentioned having to leave and was currently shuffling her way towards you, Frankie in tow.

"Frankie, be a dear and help this beautiful lady out while Heather is away."

It wasn't a question but you still felt the need to speak up, giving Frankie an out if he wanted it.

"I can manage-"

"But what about your-"

You'd both spoken at the same time and stopped mid-way through to let the other go first. Mrs. Crawley broke the silence instead.

"My hip is feeling much better, and I think I'll just make my way over to the bandstand," she gave Frankie a meaningful look accompanied by a rather sharper-than-expected slap to his cheek, "alone."

You both watched her walk over to the stage, stopping to wave at Jacquie and Agnes where they were organizing the bake sale.

"What on earth is going on," you thought to yourself while staring daggers at Jacquie from across the street. This had zero effect on her, she was just sending you lewd winks and had the audacity to give Mrs. Crawley a thumbs up. That conniving little-

"Emmmm... hi."

His voice, sounding uncertain and shy, brought your attention back to Frankie. Taking a moment to soak in his presence, you noticed how worn down he looked. "Good," thought the petty part of your brain, but she was easily squashed by the rest of it appreciating the rest of him.

Tight jeans hugging his thighs, the buttons on his shirt working overtime where the material pulled across his back and chest, his hair was long and getting shaggy but when you saw the curls peeking out from under his baseball cap you had to fight the sudden urge to run your fingers through it.

Your eyes traveled up his neck, noting the way his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly, and across his face. He'd trimmed his beard, filthy thoughts of how it would feel on your skin flashed in your head.

Finally meeting his eyes with your own, you had to take a breath before replying.

"It's nice to see you, Frankie." Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, drawing his gaze "I guess we should talk-"

You were cut short by rowdy laughter and a crowd of people bustling onto the street, another wave of ticket-holders were coming to try their luck and win the huge teddy bear prize each game boasted.

For the next hour, you were kept too busy to talk more than what was necessary for running the booth. You used the time to gather your thoughts and make a list of what you wanted to say, how you wanted to say it, and how you were going to start the conversation casually.

Frankie wasn't sure how he had ended up as Mrs. Crawley's crutch. One minute he was dropping off a crate of fruit for the apple bobbing contest and the next he was walking at a snail's pace listening to the old woman reminiscing about her long-dead husband. 

She was sweet, and he didn't mind the slow meander around the square. No, it was the subject matter that had bugged him. After his divorce was finalized and his daughter was taken from him, which he could see now was the right thing to do at the time, Frankie had accepted the fact that he was alone.

Just him, his trees, and the memories of what he did to end up this way.

Then, you had come along. The first woman to catch his attention in five damn years. It wasn't just your beauty, or your easy smile, or the curves of your body. It was your goodness, your innocence, your ability to worm your way into everyone's hearts and not even know it. 

Listening to Mrs. Crawley and the love she had shared made his chest ache, knowing he'd never deserve it himself he still found himself longing for the same. The first moment he had laid eyes on you, it was like a movie about his life had played in flashes in his mind. The meet-cute at the market, romancing you with thoughtful dates like picnics and driving up to the city’s museums and theatre. Getting married, growing the business, then growing your family. It had all played out in a split second but the impression it had left was immeasurable. 

Then, he'd opened his mouth and ruined the moment. Crashed into your truck and ruined the moment. Spooked and burned you, ruining the moment. Gained your trust, broke down your walls, and then left like a coward in the morning and ruined it.

Shaken by his inward reflecting when Mrs. Crawley was jostled, Frankie froze in place once his eyes were directed to where you stood. You were glaring over his shoulder and refusing to meet his eyes, understandably, yet he still felt his chest contract with the hope you'd look at him and smile. 

The way your gaze had eventually taken him in, once he'd been abandoned by a suddenly spry-looking elder, had flared that longing back into a roaring flame. The sudden need to work the booth gave him plenty of time to plan his speech: begging for forgiveness and admitting to the way he felt. While his mind was busy planning his speech, his heart was bursting at how comfortably and effortlessly the two of you worked with each other, like you’d been doing it for years.

Heather returned, strolling over with a barely concealed smile on her face, not looking at all like she'd just come back from a domestic emergency. This whole town could win an Oscar for their performance tonight, it was mildly humiliating but you knew they were acting out of love.

She thanked Frankie profusely for standing in for her and wouldn't take no for an answer after suggesting the two of you go and enjoy yourselves for a bit. Glancing at Frankie you shrugged your shoulders and made a face that said "why not?". He smiled and nodded back, grabbing your bag and slinging it over his shoulder before joining you on the bustling street.

You walked in comfortable silence for a while, relishing just being near each other and absorbing the jubilant energy surrounding you.

Frankie bought you cotton candy and you made him belly laugh when you showed him the few bottles of cider you'd smuggled in your bag. Seeing the way his face lit up, how he exposed that delicious neck when he threw his head back, hearing the joyous rumble from deep within, sent a realization slamming into you so suddenly it made you stumble.

You loved him.

You might not be in love with him, not yet anyway, but there was a lightness and a warmth in your heart and he had put it there.

Frankie had grabbed your arm when you had stumbled and when you didn't pull away from his touch, his hand slid down your arm and his fingers wove their way through yours.

Walking like this, hand in hand, you found yourselves at the rides.

"I've never been on a Ferris Wheel," he admits to you, craning his head upwards to stare at the top carriage.

Dragging your eyes away from his neck, again, it took your brain a moment to acknowledge what he’d said. "What?!" You expressed with mock horror, already making your way toward the ride’s gate, "Then let's remedy that!"

"I'm- uh this is stupid," he was barely moving with you and adjusted his hat, a nervous tick you'd noticed, "I'm scared of heights."

This admission stopped you in your tracks.

"Frankie." You deadpanned, gripping his hand and pulling on it to emphasize your words, "You're. A. Pilot."

He groaned and you were sure you could see a blush creeping up from beneath his collar, "I know! I know. It's just that, up there?" He stops with a sigh, gazing at the stars wistfully, "I'm in control. I trust myself."

"Do you trust me?" You ask him softly gripping his hand between the both of yours.

Frankie gazed at your face for a breath, not in a way that made you think he was hesitating, it was more like he was pausing so you knew the full weight of his words.

"I trust you with everything."

PART NINE

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[blossomkoushi]

it’s what you feel, when you love someone.

summary: tsukishima kei spends his life discovering love. and the heartache that comes with it.

warnings: reader is a bit of an ass, but so is tsukishima one time, childhood friends AU, unrequited love, heartache, heartbreak, general angst things like that. gender neutral reader, referred to as “stinky” in texts. truly all hurt and no comfort in this one.

word count: 2.1k

A/N: i haven’t written angst in forever, so please let me know if this was okay or what i could improve on! i absolutely love angst and i want to get better at writing it, so any and all feedback is appreciated. fic is based off this prompt, thank you for requesting!

The sun shines through Tsukishima’s window. 7:30am. Rolling over in his bed and sighing, he reaches for his phone. The text messages you’d sent after he’d gone to bed sit at the top of the screen. A small smile grows on his face.

[from: stinky, sent at 1:43am] >> kei-kei, did you know that fish cough? Isn’t that so weird? >> like how does that even work >> wait I found a youtube video, look! >> *stinky sent a link* >> …doesn’t really look like coughing, does it? It’s more like a yawn >> kei-kei are you sleeping? >> laaaame >> sleeping is dumb

The nickname makes his heart flutter, just for a moment. It’d always had that effect on him, the blush creeping up on his face until he trained himself to keep it down.

[to: stinky, 7:34am] >> why were you sending me texts about fish at 1:40 in the morning >> stupid

Tsukishima pauses for a moment, hesitating before sending another text.

[to: stinky, 7:36am] >> are you still coming by practice later?

Getting out of bed, he starts getting ready for his morning class and practice. A part of him is grateful that you decided to go to the same university as him, being able to see you nearly every day made his life brighter. Not that he’d ever tell you that.

He’s out the door and walking to class when you text him back.

[from: stinky, 8:27am] >> obviously, I need to go see how ‘Taro is doing >> could you steal his shirt so I can see his abs during practice? >> *image attached*

Some kind of horny meme that Tsukishima never bothered to pay attention to, the kinds you always send when talking about his teammate, Kyoutani.

[from: stinky, 8:29am] >> oh, and you’ll be there too, ig

There it is.

He knows it’s a joke. He knows that he’s your best friend and you’re only joking. But the sinking in his chest and the knot tightening in his stomach is refusing to listen to his reasoning.

Swallowing down any anxious and sad feelings, he shakes his head and starts typing away at his phone.

[to: stinky, 8:30am] >> great. I’ll see you after class

Another message of seemingly random emojis pop up on his screen and he pockets his phone, taking a seat in the classroom and bringing out his notebook. He can feel himself zoning out before the professor even starts speaking.

-

Love is a strange word to Tsukishima Kei. It’s something his mom, and occasionally brother, say to him. Something on instinct, as if a promise would be broken if the words weren’t uttered.

Tsukishima had been 5 years old when he asked his mom about it. At the time he only repeated it back to her, an echo of her declaration, unaware of what he was promising her.

“it’s a feeling, Kei. Love is what you feel when you care for someone deeply. And so, you tell them.”

“do you have to say it?”

His mom stops for a moment, pondering before brushing his hair back and shaking her head. “no, you don’t have to say it. But you should at least show it to the people you love.”

Tsukishima continued telling his mom that he loves her up until elementary school. He still loves her after that, but his priorities shifted.

-

Tsukishima had been 8 years old when he realizes that he loves you.

The feeling grew stronger every day, your smile brightening his day and your laughter making his heart flutter in a strange way.

“Kei-Kei! Look, I found a snail! There’s more over there, come on!” your excited voice made his heart swell in his chest. Your small hand gripped his, tugging him through the mud and puddles on the yard, giggling happily despite the rain pouring down.

He starts drawing you pictures of snails. Small doodles placed on your desk before recess. He points them out after it’s rained, pulling you along to bend down and watch them slowly drag along the road on the way home from school.

You get interested in frogs, cats, worms, bees, even ants for a while. Tsukishima joined your obsessions, indulging you with drawings, books and pictures. One time he collected worms in a bucket on his walk home, handing them to you when he arrived at your house, knowing that you were ill and hoping the wigglies, as you called them, would make you happier. The smile you gave him burned into his mind, and he wanted to see it again and again until the end of time.

He loves you, even his young mind can grasp that. He hopes that you can tell.

-

Tsukishima is 12 years old when he realizes that he’s in love with you.

Valentine’s day was never something he’d pay attention to. It seemed silly to him, a whole day just to talk about love? Stupid. Love is something you feel, so you say it or show it and that’s that, why spend a whole day talking about it?

That is, until you run up to him the day before, excitement flashing in your eyes.

“Kei-Kei, do you know what day it is tomorrow?” your hands gripped his arms, nearly shaking him. The familiar blush grows on his face and he shakes his head, hoping you don’t notice how his skin is turning pinker by the second. “it’s valentine’s day! I heard some of the older boys talking in the hallway about what they’re doing for their girlfriends and it seems so cute! Like, oh, one is going to take his girlfriend out roller skating, isn’t that so romantic? And this other boy was saying that-“

Tsukishima tunes your voice out, focusing his attention to your lips moving. Your hands are still gripping his arms and a part of him wishes that you’d never let go, feeling his skin burning under his clothes. You’re standing so close; he could lean his head forward just a bit and his lips could be on yours. If he just-

“-Oh! And I heard some girls talking before gym that the boys in our class were going to confess to their crushes tomorrow! Do you think anyone will confess to me? I hope so” your words snap him back to reality. His eyes go slightly wide, looking into yours. Confess? You wanted one of the stupid boys in your class to confess?

A twinge of discomfort stabs in his stomach, his body filling with sudden annoyance. “no way” he scoffs.

He’s never regretted anything more in his life.

The excitement drains from your eyes and your hands fall from his arms. Before he can think, your chin quivers and you nod silently, turning around and running away.

The discomfort in his stomach only grows, changing and chafing along with an ache in his chest, all annoyance drained from his body in an instance.

He draws a picture of a snail and dinosaur, writing your names over them. Underneath he scribbles an apology. A quick “I’m sorry”, and he places it in your mailbox on his way home.

The next day, he sees you on the yard of the school, standing excitedly in front of a boy and throwing your arms around him.

-

Tsukishima is 13 years old when he realizes that you don’t love him back. Not in the way he wants.

Though, to be honest, he knew from the moment he saw you with the boy from your class walk home together from school, hand in hand.

You’re both in junior high and all you seem to want to talk about is your stupid boyfriend. It’s a different boy, not the same one he saw you with that previous February. This one is taller, not as tall as Tsukishima, but you say that height isn’t something you look for in a boyfriend. He can’t help but to feel the jealousy and sadness seep in at that.

“he’s older, you know. He’s turning 15 in a few weeks and he says that I can meet his family at his birthday party.” You’re seated on Tsukishima’s bed while he’s at the desk, trying to tune you out and do his homework. He hopes you’ll stop talking about him and do the same. You don’t. “oh, and I know you’ve never had a girlfriend, so you won’t know this, but he’s such a good kisser. Like, you can definitely tell that he’s got some experience compared to my ex. Isn’t that so weird? Me? Having an ex?”

Tsukishima doesn’t like this. You’re changing, trying to be older than you actually are to impress this older boy that he’s never even met. Not that he wants to. He’s gotten used to the dull ache of his heart breaking over and over again, the steady and constant reminder that you won’t ever see him the way that he sees you. He’s mastered the art of seeming okay, masking his feelings and pushing them deep down where no living soul will ever see them. But if he had to see you with this… boyfriend… he’s not sure that he’d recover.

So instead, he shuts up. He stays quiet and lets you babble on about all the little things that this boy does for you, letting the ache in his chest grow and grow. It’s better than the alternative, telling you how he feels. No, that’s not an option. He can’t risk losing you.

-

Tsukishima Kei is an idiot. He knows this for a fact after having to watch you pine after endless boys and men all the way up until university. Boyfriends that come and go, the make out sessions that he gets graphic descriptions of and a constant damp shoulder from holding you after your heart gets broken.

He pretends to laugh along when you joke about him being single for so long, his heart squeezing painfully at the reminder that his long-time crush has eyes for every man except him.

-

He only comes back from his heart-break haze when he steps into the gym after class. Only he wishes that he hadn’t.

Calling out a greeting, he sees you standing alone with Kyoutani. Except he’s not sure if it counts as standing, it’s more of a pinning to the wall. Kyoutani’s body caging you in, your back pressed to the wall with your hands around his neck. Even from a distance, he can see your usual excited smile, happy to have gotten attention from the boy you’d been pining after.

“sorry.” Tsukishima can only mutter, quickly turning around and walking out the gym again. He can hear your muffled voice, probably reassuring Kyoutani that it’s okay. He wishes that he’d walked faster, so he would’ve missed the unmistakable sounds of kissing and your soft sighs.

Tsukishima hasn’t let himself cry over you in years. He forces himself to go numb, push away any and all bad feelings until his breathing gets steady and he can look you in the eye again.

But this time, he can’t stop it. He’s fallen to the floor as soon as the bathroom door locks behind him. It’s disgusting, sitting on the floor with his hands pressed to his eyes, trying to force the tears back inside. His classes clink onto the floor, skidding away from him as his body shakes.

Tears stream down his face and drips down his shirt, turning the fabric into a blotchy mess, matching his flushed face and the snot running from his nose. His sobs echo off the walls, arms hugging his knees while the image of your body pressed against his teammate flashes behind his eyes every time he blinks.

He hasn’t cried over you in years. So, when it all hits him, it hits hard.

He misses practice completely, spending his time laying on the filthy floor in the bathroom and clutching his chest, trying to bring the broken pieces back together. He finally stands after what feels like an eternity. Picking up his glasses from the floor, he puts them on and watches himself in the mirror. Face flushed pink, eyes bloodshot and snot running from his nose, he thinks about what his mother said when he was a kid.

“love is what you feel when you care for someone deeply.”

A bitter laugh fills the room, his own hard eyes meeting him in the mirror.

His mother was wrong. Love isn’t what you feel when you care for someone deeply. All you feel is pain. The dull twisting of a knife in your chest as you watch the one you love fall for someone else, over and over again until you accept that their soft and loving eyes will never meet yours. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself when you’re standing in the bathroom of the gym where you saw said person fall in love with someone new. That you’ve accepted it.

[boop-le-snoot]

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previously on...

Star is getting better, Sam is getting a friend, Stephen is a Sad White Boy™. A layover chapter. I'm not very happy with how this turned out but hey, it's an update and its still pandemi-lovato outside, we gotta be gentle on ourselves. PA turned out to be way more serious than I planned it to be anyways and I think that's very yeehaw of me to expand my writing from the usual almost-crackfics that I write. Love you all 3000.

Days stretched like a piece of chewed up gum, bleeding into one another at a snail's pace, one dull grey NYC afternoon after the other. The hospital wing I was forced to camp out in Tony's tower was top notch but everything, starting from the constant beeping to the sharp, chemical smells, irritated me, and what little strength I had to communicate was mostly spent on listening to Sam's tall tales.

Odette had stopped by shortly after the first wave of weakness had set in; no, I didn't dramatically faint or suddenly develop third stage cancer, I simply turned into a near-catatonic vegetable, devoid of any emotion or will to exist. My bones were like Jell-o, my thoughts - sluggish, sparse clouds that rarely swam in the grey plains of my overtired mind.

My boss was fussing over me for hours, I heard faint echoes of her and Stephen's argumentative conversations before she flipped out and shut the door to my hospital room, strong aromas of incense and smoke briefly overshadowing the bleach and plastic stench every hospital seemed to have. I

I became mostly coherent after her ministrations; enough to see the dark circles under her eyes and the ghastly tone of her skin. More often than not, I couldn't even properly focus my vision, things like using the bathroom and eating three times a day were the worst chores I'd ever had to do.

My body was trying to convince me to wither away, to simply allow the vessel for my spirit to become one with the Earth once more. I had no energy to process what had happened on the foreign planet; when I slept, I didn't dream, I didn't have nightmares, time just flowed like a fast, untamed river, my weary body drifting along the calmer streams of the shoreline and occasionally bumping into a stone of daily routine.

My stubbornness, however, was an inherent part of me. I had considered, many times, simply giving up; the voices in my head whispered at me their poisonous ideas. It would be so easy, to fall asleep and never wake up. They baited me with the promises of afterlife, of golden halls and spaces full of light and warmth.

Sam had started spending a lot of time at my bedside absolutely unprompted; sometimes, he'd hold my hand, gentle, tender fingers drawing senseless squiggles on the inside of my palm. Faint echoes of his aura told me he was worried for me, but also grateful for what I did for Stephen and angry at someone. I tried not to think about the last part: I could sense their pity and their unease every time one of his teammates stopped by my hospital room.

A healthy-looking young woman spending most of her days blankly staring at the wall wasn't a picture-postcard view. Sam wasn't bothered by it in the slightest, and when I finally clawed my way out of the dredges to be able to answer questions with a simple 'yes' or 'no', he promptly lit up, speaking to me in a happy tone that almost wasn't forced.

Tony stopped by, too, usually late in the evening, when he thought I and everyone else was asleep. He sat next to me, his intelligent brown eyes fixed on my face for twenty, thirty minutes at a time before he'd stroke my hair or run a hot, calloused palm over my arm, and then took his leave, slow, shuffling footsteps quietly receding into the hallways. I really didn't know what to think about Tony, he had always been quite quirky, but his gestures were... Nice.

Stephen... Him, his actions, I understood the least. He had argued with Tony, argued with Odette and I was sure I heard him and the Black Widow scream at each other during lunch time. Sometimes I thought I heard his voice, at night, the darkness behind my eyelids suddenly bursting with golden sparks and green bokeh but when I finally mustered up the strength to open my eyes, the empty, white walls were all that greeted me.

Stephen never stopped by, I rarely heard his voice outside of my room and almost always it was one bickering or another, mostly with Sam muttering a few choice words as he noisily sat down on the chair next to me. As much as I hated to admit it, it bothered me. Near-death experiences tended to leave a strong imprint on the human mind and whether Stephen liked it or not, we were connected for life.

"Then Steve, the dumbass, just jumps out of the plane. No chute, no warning," Sam's voice, drifting between fond and annoyed, snapped me out of my stupor. "Robot-brain curses, yells at his boyfriend like he can hear him and just... Does the same fucking thing," the exasperation made a tiny spark of mirth settle in me. I flexed my fingers despite the dull ache, gripping Sam's fingers in my palm. I didn't need to see him to know he immediately perked up. "Meanwhile I'm standing there with my wings, trying to figure out where in life did I take the wrong turn to end up with these two idiots."

"You should get them," I swallowed, my throat dry, my vocal cords tense from the lack of use. "One of those... Backpack leashes," the words were a battle to get out, it was a fight with a brick wall to force my brain to string sounds into a sentence, but I persisted.

"Should I say 'welcome back'?" Sam's optimism is cautious.

"Gettin' there," I forced my eyes to meet his, to see the life bustling in him. To feel alive, even by proxy.

"I should get Strange here, he's been running himself ragged these days, tryin' to figure out how to bring you back," Sam's free hand scrambled for his cell as I struggled to raise my eyebrows. "Yeah, yeah, I was as surprised as you were, Tony barely gets the wizard to sleep and eat."

Faint pangs of shame wormed into my headspace, for assuming the worst when I knew that his façade of vitriol and sarcasm was just that - a wall to protect himself. My rediscovery of the ability to feel, even if it was gooey shame, grounded me in this plane of existence, forcing me to face reality and return to it.

"I feel like shit," for once in my life, I allowed myself to openly, publicly complain about my state of being.

"Yeah, I couldn't tell," Sam's tone was refreshingly teasing. "Odette and Strange explained what you did. Well, sort of," the man scratched his chin. "I understood about half of it, really, but what matters is that you were badass as fuck!"

I struggled to hold onto that sense of being present. "Well, it wasn't my choice," I felt the need to state the fact. "I'm a conductor, of sorts."

Sam's eyebrows rose, both of his hands encompassing my lax palm. "Wizard-man said you consciously directed the energies, or whatever."

I felt the tiniest laugh bubble up from the bottom of my throat, my dry, chapped lips stretched on their own accord. "Because it tickled and itched. It was annoying," I belatedly suspected that there was something... Off, about my explanation.

Sam's gaping expression, exasperated disbelief, put me on edge. "You thought that radioactive ash tickles and severe nerve damage itches?" His head shook from side to side, as if he was trying to get rid of a persistent mosquito.

"Um," I had the decency to look away. "I didn't know it was radioactive," I meekly supplied as the door to my hospital room all but flew open.

Stephen looked - not much better than me, if I had to guess, with the exception of a highly anxious face instead of the (probably) dead inside high school drama club goth that I looked like. The Cape billowed behind him despite a lack of any wind, wiggling as my eyes widened in response to the fabric moving on its own.

"You're okay," Stephen's baritone had me snapping up to meet his stormy eyes with a speed I wasn't aware I possessed at this stage of my recovery. The sorcerer stood silently, eyeing me in turn.

"I'll go get some coffee," Sam delicately interjected, giving my hand a brief squeeze and all but running out the door.

"Radioactive?" I repeated the question that bothered me the most. Shock seized my chest as I fully faced the implications of our impromptu adventure, but I welcomed the acrid sensations, desperate to feel anything at all.

"Yes," the sorcerer took a few long, hurried strides before crashing into the chair. "I didn't notice at first, but then you grabbed my hand and," a jerky inhale followed the confession. "I felt the healing burn, I felt how your body rejected the particles," his speech stuttered. Slender, gloved fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'd be dead in an hour, maybe, if not for..."

I was equally at a loss for words, it seemed. "Weren't we... Harmful to others when we..?" I struggled to form my thoughts.

"You burnt it all off," Stephen replied curtly, puzzled. "Your whole being rejected everything that came from that wretched place. Tony insisted we run tests, do scans. Neither of us have even residual radiation from past x-rays," Stephen's fingers twitched. "But that's not all."

"Your hands?" I offered, remembering some of Sam's words.

A sharp inhale coming from the sorcerer answered my question, if not in detail, and the man himself hesitated to reply for a reason I did not know. I didn't undo the damage, this much I knew was true. He swallowed loudly, eyes firmly planted on the wall opposite me. "They do not hurt anymore," the words were barely louder than a whisper.

I chewed on my lip, slowly, idly, letting Stephen process whatever bothered him that much. He should have been happy, or so I thought, that there was one less thing in this world that had the potential of giving him a headache. "Good," I simply replied, attempting to shrug.

"No, you don't understand," he suddenly lifted his eyes, staring at me hotly. "You did so at the expense of your own life, your lifespan, you energy, your ability to have child-"

I stopped his rant, lifting up one shaky, and my feeble gesture instantly made the tired, broken man deflate into someone that reeked of shame and regret. His shoulders dropped, head briefly touching the side of my bed. For all purposes, I nearly acquired a lapful of kicked puppy Stephen.

Mustering up my very last dregs of energy, I scoffed in his direction: "Don't fucking tell me what to do, wizard," before the familiar weight of apathy began taking over me again. One sluggish thought after the other, I came to a conclusion that he was experiencing a sort of survivor's guilt, except I didn't die.

Or maybe I did? Maybe I'd left some unknown, invisible part of me on the irradiated plains of a foreign world, coming home as a shell of my former self. To their eyes, at least, it could have looked the part; not too long after Stephen's departure, I mustered up the strength and the courage to look into a mirror, to properly see the damage I'd done to myself.

An ashen undertone to my skin, my eyes had sunken deeply into my surprisingly angular face. I had the look of a person who'd survived famine and torture, at least. I appeared to be as dull and disgusting as I felt. For what felt the first time in ages, I carefully, slowly ran myself a hot bath with some of the fancy toiletries placed in the bathroom, because of course Tony would have a full size bath in a hospital room, the steaming, herbal-smelling liquid almost instantaneously giving a boost to my blood flow and speeding up the living energies within my exhausted form.

Sam was waiting for me when I stepped out heated and pruney, a lopsided tilt to his lips and the mouthwatering smell of coffee gathering saliva in my mouth for the first time in days.

"Stephen needs to see a fucking therapist," I grouched, sitting down on the bed, bundled up in a fluffy bathrobe.

Wilson's responding eyeroll was pure reflex. "They all do," he reached out for his thermos, having noticed me eyeing it. A paper cup was promptly filled and given to me. "I can recommend a few, by the way. That specialise in unusual circumstances," he eyed me with kindness, gesturing towards the hospital room with a wide wave of his hand.

I chewed on my lip. "I don't think it will help much, at least right now, since all my hurts are- eh, magical," I shrugged. "I gotta figure out how to stop my limbs from feeling like cooked spaghetti noodles first." The coffee tasted like the usual hospital sludge but somehow, after being devoid of all feeling, it was the single best thing I've had in the past week.

"Seems like a solid plan," Sam agreed. "Your boss is a scary lady, by the way. And I mean it respectfully."

The corners of my mouth tilted up. "Yeah, but she's also very experienced and very kind. She knows her stuff."

Sam quickly looked to the side and as I followed the direction of his stare, i spied a pile of empty Tupperware boxes, causing me to lift an eyebrow at the suddenly bashful man.

"What?" He tried for indignant but it came out as a squeak. "I'm a man, god dammit! I am given free food, I take the free food!"

The realization set in. "She's feeding you now? Did you hit on my boss to get food, Sam?" I wagged my fingers, enjoying the face expressions the man was making, probably, a little more than I should. He looked like a right bird when disgruntled, all puffed up and glaring.

"No!" He almost shrieked. "She cornered me, said I was doing God's work by sitting and talking to you! She just started bringing those... Casseroles, every time she stopped by," the agitation in his voice was quite funny to me. "Not like it's a chore, I actually like the peace and quiet. You've been the best listener I've had in the past year," Sam's grin grew more genuine. "And I don't have to see RoboCop's mug all day or listen to someone argue over the best pasta shape."

"Your house sounds like a nightmare," I supplied conversationally, remembering my own peculiar place and the set of rules and- SHIT, I belatedly realized, someone might went to my apartment to get my stuff and gotten in trouble. "Sam, who went to my place to get my stuff?" I asked, trying to force down the bubbling unease.

"Some lady stopped by, I think her name was also Sam?" He quietly questioned. "Had two kids with her, the boy kept staring at me like I'd stolen his lunch money," the man finished off his coffee, gathering the trash and noisily throwing it in the bin.

"Yeah, that's my neighbor. And Armin is a cool little dude, he's just very shy," I offered absent-mindedly, inwardly breathing a massive sigh of relief.

"He looks like the boy from 'I see dead people' movie," Sam deadpanned, opening a large drawer and extracting my gym bag from it. "I'll leave you to get dressed," we nodded to each other before Sam left the room, phone to his ear and a relaxed atmosphere around his whole being radiating warmth and contentment. That was a nice change from the tense, grim atmosphere of the days past. I could get used to it, could re-learn how to let myself feel like a living being again.

I was eager to return home; stepping in through the portal, my living room greeted me exactly the way I left it the day I went to work, a few books scattered on the couch, my fleece blanket hanging halfway off the couch. Stephen hovered behind me as I set my bag down on the table, immediately surveying the state of my plants and my altar.

"Do you need, um, help with anything?" He was fidgeting, all but vibrating behind me.

Apparently, Sam had talked some sense into the wizard because he stopped by a few times since that day, for a short small-talk or a cup of coffee, the kicked puppy look back on full display.

I told Sam off, of course, saying that I was an adult and so was Strange, but something in his knee-jerk reaction told me that he was so used to playing referee, it didn't even register with him that I might be able to handle my own business. I told Sam that much, taking his hand in me: I wanted a friend, not a parent, not a therapist. It went pretty smoothly.

"No, not really," I figured I could water my own plants and vacuum my own floors. My phone buzzed at that moment, a number saved in my phone as "Tony 😎" coming through with an absolutely outrageous message.

"I'm bringing pizza in 20. You better have Netflix. Tell Dumbledore to pick up his phone."

I promptly thrust the phone in Stephen's face, who instantly developed an equally annoyed and fond expression, as he searched the numerous pockets of his robe for the sleek, light StarkPhone. "Resistance is futile," he sighed, sitting down on the couch as I went to change into something fresh and water my plants while Stephen flicked through my Netflix. I heard him mutter to himself: "Grey's anatomy? Sixth season? Oh my God," with the tone of a man tortured.

"I had a roomie in college who majored in Medical History," I snorted. "When she had a bad day, she'd absolutely pick apart every single thing in the show. From the doctor's misconduct to the way a surgeon was holding the scalpel," I explained, seeing Stephen's eyes sparkle with amusement. "She was absolutely vicious and it was the most hilarious thing."

The sorcerer stroked his chin, leaning back into the couch. "That's acceptable. All medical shows are rubbish," he stated firmly. His phone beeped, causing him to sigh and conjure up a portal within seconds, in the corner of my apartment I had aptly designated to be the landing pad to myself. Tony stepped in, a bottle of wine and three steaming pizza boxes in hand. Smiling at his boyfriend, Stephen turned to me with a curious look: "What did you major in?"

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox @secretly-a-weeb @stuckybarton

[robbyrobinson]

OWL HOUSE X CTHULHU MYTHOS: GOD AWAKEN (PT. XII)

The gang waited patiently for Hypnos to return with the Blight child. While waiting, Luz decided to relay the others on their plan.  

“Alright, so Amity and I will go to Earth in our astral bodies and when we find out where the book is, Eda will use this bell and bring us back.”  

Eda held the bell in her hand and rang it. “Why did you need Amity in particular to travel with you?”  

“I knew that Willow and Gus would be attending Hexside tomorrow, and I couldn’t bring them into this kind of situation,” Luz explained, “besides, if they notice I am gone, I am hoping that they’d protect our bodies when we are gone.”  

“I am still somewhat unsure about what we are trying to accomplish,” Lilith said, “Hypnos said that you needed to take these...drugs. How are we going to get them?”  

Eda flicked her hand. “Don’t worry, sis, I have the solution.”  

Eda walked out of the room and loud shuffling was heard. Some potion jars were dropped on the floor and exploded upon impact. The floor began to transform into different objects and shapes when Eda returned carrying a bottle in her hands.  

“Sister, that isn’t what I think it is,” Lilith started.

Eda grinned. “Yes, indeed, Lilith; apple blood from 40 years ago!”  

“Eda, why in the Titan’s name would you keep that bottle around for 40 years?” King asked.

“Pipe down, dog, I was actually considering saving this brew for Luz when she graduated Hexside, buuuut we could use this to help her travel.”  

Luz gagged on reflex. “I don’t know, Eda; what if that’s dangerous?”  

“Luz, how I see it, one of two things could happen: either this apple blood will send your soul out of your body so you can jump dimensions, or it could kill you.”  

Luz frowned. “Both options sound too risky.”  

“Maybe we can use a guinea pig for this experiment,” King suggested. “Hey, Hooty!”  

Hooty’s tube head popped into the room, startling Lilith. “Hoot! Hoot! Hey guys!!”  

King grimaced at the annoying voice coming from the house demon. “How would you like to play a game?”  

Hooty’s black eyes bulged excitedly. “Ooo, a game! What are we playing? Charades? Chess! Ooo, maybe we can see who can put the most worms in their mouths without swallowing!! Hoot! Hoot!!”  

“Shut up!” King yelled, his head throbbing, “we need you to drink this.”  

He took a mug and poured the apple blood into it. A dark red liquid dripped out of the bottle with a sickly nauseating plop. He placed the mug at Hooty’s invisible feet and waited his eyes growing more intense. Hooty shifted his tube body to smell the concoction. His feathers ruffled in disgust.

“That smells like a goblin soaked his socks in it for months!!”  

King nodded. “I know it smells bad, but we need you to drink it.”  

“Mmm...what’s in it for me?” Hooty asked.  

King scratched the boney part of his head for a moment. “If you do this, then...”  

Luz interjected. “We’ll listen to your stories for a whole week!”  

King turned to look at Luz with a hint of frustration on his face as if to criticize her for the suggestion. He turned back towards Hooty and forced his head to nod. “Eh...sure.”  

Hooty smiled. “A WHOLE WEEK!? You guys hardly ever listen to my stories; finally, I will have some acknowledgment, hoot! Hoot!”  

“Ugh, fine, whatever,” King said, “just drink it.”  

Hooty knelt his body down to look at the liquid in the mug. Along with the red tint that gave the beverage its name, there appeared to be green moss growing in it. “Ew...do I have to?”  

King flicked his fingers. Hooty sighed and closed his eyes so at the least he did not see what he was about to drink. The tip of his beak formed into a circular shape and he took a long swig of the concoction. King and the others felt their cheeks turning green.

“He’s...really doing it,” King observed, “I was kind of half-kidding when I said that we should test it on him.”  

Hooty finished the mug and looked up again at the others. He didn’t say anything to them.

“Uh...Hooty?” Luz said, “are you okay??”  

Hooty’s eyes widened and glimmered from seemingly glaring into the universe itself. Before they could say anything additional, Hooty fell to his side.  

“Oh cramity, I think we killed Hooty!” Luz said.  

Eda knelt down and placed two fingers close to Hooty’s mouth. “Naw, he’s still warm.”  

“If only he was dead,” King complained.

“Then that means the astral travel had worked?” Lilith asked.  

“Mmm...looks like it had.” Eda answered. “He’s probably already going down one of those wacko dimensions as we speak.”  

King poked Hooty with a stick. “He was the security system, though; are you sure we can handle things while he is gone?”  

“Of course, it’s just that we have to watch two girls’ bodies while they are traveling through the vastness of space.” Eda shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not that complicated.”  

Luz looked at the unconscious tube bird and then at the apple blood. “Well, Hooty’s a house demon, and I’m a human.”  

“Oh, that is true,” Eda said, “some drinks in our world might do unspeakably malicious things on your system.”  

“Knock, knock.”  

Hypnos came in carrying Amity on his back. “I got the girl!”  

“Amity!” Luz screamed.

Amity immediately blushed from hearing Luz’s voice.  

“Oh, Luz! Fancy meeting you here!”  

“I live here,” Luz pointed out.  

“Oh, right, you live here,” Amity giggled anxiously. “And I came here to see you.”  

Amity tensed up from Luz’s stare. “I spoke to much!”  

Hypnos rolled his eyes and sat Amity down. “You can have your infatuation moment later on.”  

“Amity, we need your help,” Luz said.  

Amity slammed her fist into her open palm. “Yes, who do I have to kill?”  

She scanned the room for a moment and saw that Lilith was sitting on the couch. “You wanted me to kill her?”  

Lilith held her hand out. “Woah, woah, I know it looks bad, but-”  

Without much prompt, Amity conjured up her Abomination and it towered over the older witch. “Abomination, kill!”  

Amity’s Abomination grabbed Lilith with his right hand and started to compress her with its large fingers. Lilith squirmed underneath the grip of the blobby monster to no avail.  

“Amity, wait, please!” Lilith yelled.  

“That’s what you get when you tried to kill my girl!” Amity yelled. She turned to look at Luz only now realizing what she had just said. “I-I mean my friend! No one tries to kill my friend.”  

Eda stood up and grabbed onto Amity’s hand. “As much as I can understand your anger, this isn’t why we called you.”  

Amity’s cheeks were red again this time from embarrassment. “Oh...sorry Lilith.”  

The Abomination dropped a traumatized Lilith on the couch. “So, why am I here?”  

They explained to Amity everything from Nyarlathotep’s return to the Boiling Isles, and how Emperor Belos was working alongside the dark god to enact the Day of Unity. Amity sat on the couch and quietly listened. Each passing moment, Amity felt a sense of dread overtake her. She looked down at her hands.

“All the times I used magic; you mean to tell me I was actually profiting off the sacrifices of different witches?”  

Luz nodded sadly. “I am sorry that you had to learn about the darker side of the Isles’ history.”  

“But if what you are saying is true, wouldn’t it make more sense to infiltrate the Emperor’s Coven and steal the portal door from Belos under his nose?” Amity asked.  

Hypnos wagged his finger. “Belos is far too powerful to take on at your state.” He walked over to a wall of the house. “You all would get slaughtered the moment you step foot in his kingdom.”  

“I guess that makes sense,” Amity said, “but...drinking this potent apple blood. Would it be too dangerous?”  

King pointed at Hooty’s lifeless body. “It worked for Hooty.”  

Amity frowned. “He looks dead.”  

“No, he’s not dead,” King assured her, “he still has a pulse, see?”  

He grabbed Hooty’s head and shook it in his hands. Amity’s fears were not comforted in the slightest. King tired himself out from shaking Hooty and unceremoniously dropped the head carelessly on the ground.  

“There is no other way,” Luz said, “there is only one portal key, and that is what Belos currently has in his possession.”  

“True, but...I am still worried,” Amity noted.  

Luz clutched her hand tenderly. “Don’t worry; I’ll be doing it with you.”  

Amity’s heart galloped quickly behind her ribs. Oh, sweet Titan, she was holding the hand of her crush. It was...soft, silky smooth like a baby’s bottom. Even though it was a mundane gesture, Amity felt that she was committing a grave sin. Her thoughts were spiraling out of control she couldn’t stand it. Dear Titan, give her strength.  

“Amity, are you okay?” Luz asked in concern.  

Amity quickly broke out of cloud nine still as red as ever. “I-I’m fine, Amity.”  

“But you’re Amity,” Luz pointed out.  

Sweat rolled down Amity’s forehead in beads along with some sweat accumulating onto Luz’s hand. “Oh, right, I am, aren’t I?”  

She giggled nervously hoping to at least get the others laughing to feel less awkward. When she was met with the dead eyes of the others, she stopped laughing. “Let’s just do it.”  

Outside of the owl house, the spy quietly listened and turned to return to Belos to report on what he had heard. As morning encroached on the Blight family, Odalia was already in the kitchen, having woken up earlier than the other members of her family.  

“And this time, serve us something that we’d actually want to eat,” Odalia said sternly to her maid.  

“As you wish, ma’am,” the maid groaned.  

Odalia withdrew one of her favorite mugs from the cabinet and started to prepare some apple blood for herself. While gathering the ingredients, she heard a slight knock at the front door. Odalia groaned in annoyance. “Who can that be at this hour?”  

She yelled for the maid to stop what she was doing and go to the door. She waited around a few minutes, but the same droning of the door echoed through the house. “Come on, what am I paying you for?”  

Odalia rubbed her chin. Oh, right, she wasn’t paying her in snails. She thought about waking up her husband, but she couldn’t remember hearing him snore or let alone hear him move around in his bed. Maybe the twins, but they would probably do something mischievous as they often do. Amity? She was still somewhat upset at her daughter’s scathing opposition of her demands so she was likely to continue to be on her rebel streak.

The knock at the door only further annoyed the Blight matriarch. “Alright, fine, I will do it.”  

She exited the kitchen and walked to the front door. “Yes, I am here; stop with your petulant, infernal knocking!”  

She opened the door and was surprised with what she was seeing. There stood one of the imperial guards of the Emperor. Odalia rubbed the tiredness out of her eyes out of fear of hallucinating the event. But it was very real. In the guard’s hand was a scroll.  

“Pray tell, why are you here at my house at this hour?”  

The imperial guard didn’t speak. Instead, the guard rolled out the scroll in front of her and read what was on it. “Miss Odalia Blight, the Emperor has requested an audience with you.”  

Odalia stepped back. “With...with me? Emperor Belos?”  

“Aye; now please come with me.”  

Emperor Belos was once again on his throne, passively waiting. His spy stood by the throne on the right side of it.  

“Yes, my lord,” the spy replied, “the human girl is planning on arriving to the Earth before you can claim the book.”  

Emperor Belos chuckled. He tentatively touched the scar on his mask that he received from his last encounter with the girl. “She is a very resourceful young lady, isn’t she?”  

“As you say, my lord; what is the purpose of the book if you do not mind me asking?”  

“It is an ancient book that was written thousands of years before I arrived to the Boiling Isles; it records many secrets and accesses to the dark arts. The book documents beings like the Titan and where they trekked and from where they will once again walk.”  

The spy was about to say something else, but he was interrupted by Kikimora.  

“We’ve retrieved her.”  

Emperor Belos nodded and held his staff in his hand bidding the spy to leave. The spy understood and began to walk out. Down the corridors, he caught a glimpse of Odalia. Both of their eyes locked on each other. Before Odalia could say something about the peculiar stranger, the spy turned away and fastened his pace. Odalia shrugged and subsequently shook out any iota of suspicion from her mind. Belos stood from his throne to glance at Nyarlathotep.  

“The deed is done, Master,” Belos said solemnly.  

“Very good indeed,” the Crawling Chaos replied. “Leave us.”  

As Belos turned to walk away, Nyarlathotep held out his staff. “I pray ask is your devotion still towards me?”  

Belos lightly pushed the staff aside. “Yes, Master; I would never betray you.”  

Nyarlathotep directly stared into Belos’ blue eyes for a few seconds and withdrew the staff. “Very well.”  

Belos left through the back of his throne, relieved that Nyarlathotep didn’t suspect the spear he had locked away. Nyarlathotep sat down in the place of the Emperor and waited.  

“Lord Belos, I’m he-”  

Odalia stumbled on her words. Instead of Belos, she was instead in the presence of some...swarthy man. And yet, something about the dark-skinned man was oddly enthralling. His chiseled appearance; the intensity of his eyes; he had colored strips of linen on his head. From what Odalia could speculate, he was without a doubt of royalty.  

“Welcome, Odalia, matriarch of the Blight family,” Nyarlathotep replied.  

He had a smooth-way of speaking, sometimes even deliberately prolonging the last letter of his words to burrow into Odalia’s mind.  

“Who are you?” Odalia finally asked.

“I am Nyarlathotep,” he replied, “I have risen from the blackness of twenty-seven centuries to deliver a message.”  

“What is it that you want with me?” Odalia inquired.  

“Why to join the Emperor’s Coven of course!” Nyarlathotep said extatically whilst raising his toned arms.  

Odalia couldn’t believe it. Joining the coven was always a lifelong dream of hers, but due to forces outside of her own, she was forced to leave it as it was: a dream. This was the exact reason she wanted Amity to try for the Emperor’s Coven when she became of age. But with Amity speaking a lot of insolence lately, Odalia realized that she could not live through her daughter, even if she forced her to dye her hair to match her own.  

“Well?” Nyarlathotep asked.  

Odalia fidgeted with her fingers. “It is a great honor, my lord, but I feel that my chances of officially joining it are slim.”  

Nyarlathotep tilted his head. “I am a representative of the Titan that you revere.”  

Odalia raised an eyebrow. “You are?”  

“The Titan has informed me that the Day of Unity is at hand: the gods have declared that there would come a new birth for the Boiling Isles, one where the weak are suppressed and extinguished from this land. The strong will rule this land and will never grow weary. Your lineage will be exalted above the heights of the clouds and will be a force to reckon with.”  

Odalia tapped her chin with her fingers. That sounded like a good deal; join the Emperor’s Coven and she would reap the benefits of it. “If I do this, I will make the Blight family name the greatest in the world?”  

Nyarlathotep sneered. “All of creation will know your name from the furthest parts of the galaxy to the fabric of reality itself.”  

“You have yourself a deal, Nyarlathotep,” Odalia smiled.  

Nyarlathotep took his finger and drew a circle. From the small portal, a book fell. The book opened itself up to reveal an empty page. Nyarlathotep took the pen fashioned from bone and motioned for Odalia to take it.  

“Your blood, please.”  

Odalia hesitated at first out of disgust that she would have to prick her finger and write her name in her own blood on some crummy old paper, but the promises that the Crawling Chaos promised her proved too powerful. She jabbed her finger with the bone with enough force that even Nyarlathotep was slightly taken aback by her decision. Her blood dripped through the page and onto the other pages.  

“Excellent work, Odalia,” Nyarlathotep proclaimed, “for enlisting, I will bestow you with this.”  

He produced a staff and placed it in her hand. “A staff.”  

Odalia looked at the staff with curiosity. “But I already have one at home.”  

“I know; but this staff, in particular, can collect magic, not just from your magic bile, but from any other source.”  

“Hm, that would be useful,” Odalia thought, “what shall you have me do?”  

Nyarlathotep turned her back into the hands of Emperor Belos and they walked down the empire. Through the doors, Belos stopped and talked to Odalia.  

“It is great that you are assisting in our cause; The Day of Unity is upon us.”  

They came upon a door that was locked away from the other rooms. Belos, with staff in hand, placed the tip of it on a sensor button. The door opened to allow the two in. Through the doors, Odalia saw more of the Emperor’s imperial guards walking to and fro on the stairways carrying heavy boxes. What struck her the most was the large machine in the middle of the bizarre laboratory.  

“What is that, my lord?” Odalia asked.  

“A gateway to other worlds,” Belos passively explained, “when the human girl came to rescue the Owl Lady, she tried to destroy the door that led to the Earth.”  

“So, you managed to salvage what was left of it?”  

“Very observative, Odalia,” Belos stated, “as we speak, the human and your daughter are going to go to Earth to acquire a book that I am after.”  

“Daughter?” Odalia repeated.  

The twins were still at home. She hadn’t heard anything from Amity when she had her talk with her which meant....her eyes doubled in size from the rationalization.  

“I told Amity to not associate with that rat,” Odalia lamented, “I apologize for her; if she did something treasonous...the family line then....”  

Belos held his hand out to silence her. “The Titan has told me that to stop the foolish human girl, you will lead a righteous crusade on the Earth.”  

Odalia bowed her head. “It is an honor to work with you in the name of the Titan.”  

Belos led her deeper into the laboratory. “As you know, the cost of treason against our way of life is petrification.”  

Odalia gulped deeply as a sign of her comprehending the cost of treason.  

“But you may not be aware of what becomes of the soul of the traitor, I assume?”  

He opened another door in the laboratory. The imperial guards were painstakingly melding together red scraps of metal to form rows of armor. A conveyor belt carried the scraps of metal to assemble them. At the top of the conveyor belt was a large vat. It contained a scorching hot, melted down liquid and tipped itself into tubes. The hot liquid flowed through a series of pipes to a slab of metal. The slabs of metal slammed together with great pressure.

The substance sizzled and cooled remaining that way for thirty seconds until the slabs drew themselves away. In the middle were more of the scraps of metal. Odalia’s eyes twinkled.  

“Armor? For what?”  

“For the crusade,” Belos explained, “but does something strike you as peculiar about the metal?”  

Odalia looked closely at the suits of armor unsure of what to expect. It soon became clear: armor that was being hammered into place moved about sluggishly. Each piece of metal that was hammered on made the armor jolt in excruciating pain. It was becoming crystal clear what Belos implicated with the armor: the armor was alive, and reacting in distress. The imperial guards picked and prodded at the armor suits forcing them into open boxes with their staffs laced with electrical wires.

Belos stood in front of one of the suits of armor and struck it.  

“When these former witches committed treason, their bodies were left behind, but as for their souls...they were incapable of escaping their fates. So...after giving it some consideration, I had tasked my servants with collecting pieces of the stone statues and mixing them with metal native to the Isles to create a sturdier metal.”  

“Then that means,” Odalia started.

“That is right; the souls of the executed witches were melted down to create the perfect metal for the perfect suits of armor.”  

The armor moved around in a method similar to how Abominations are maneuvered. However, it was apparent that they still retained enough of their senses to feel pain. Shrill screams seeped out from the helmets of the metal in forced fits of air. They wobbled on their feet yet could not go one minute without falling over. Black paste oozed out through cracks of the armor making it more unsightly. And yet the imperial guards cared not one bit about the suffering of the souls and resumed work on them. Any of the armor suits that failed to be fully operational were picked up by pulleys and dropped back into the vat to be melted down again so the process could start anew.

“And you need me to lead these...things?” Odalia asked Emperor Belos once again.

“Of course! But when your daughter goes to Earth, you won’t be able to see her without this.”  

One of his servants had a necklace on a small cushion. Belos thanked him for it and placed it around Odalia’s neck. “The necklace was crafted from a special type of salt that will make Amity and the human girl visible.”  

Odalia took the necklace in her hand and looked at it. “Very well; and how will I lead the armor?”  

“With the staff my master granted you, of course,” Belos responded, “you must collect enough magic in order to keep them under control.”  

More magic she thought. It could take forever to collect as much magic as she could, and the Day of Unity might already be over. While pondering, she shook her head deeply to Belos and turned to walk away. She was hoping for Nyarlathotep to give her advice on what she had to do, but he mysteriously disappeared without a trace.  

She returned home this time hearing someone else stir awake. Odalia tensed up instinctively and hid in the kitchen underneath the table. She held her breath hoping that she wouldn’t be found with the device. The staff glowed ominously sensing that magic was near.  

“Mom, is that you?”  

Odalia could recognize that voice as belonging to none other than her son Edric. It made some considerable sense because he would typically wake up at the time of day before his twin sister. Odalia was about to respond to him, but she saw that the staff was glowing a deeper shade. The thought crossed her mind: in order for her to control the armor suits, she needed magic. And lots of it. She did live in a house with four other residents...Belos didn’t say anything about where it had to come from.  

Odalia got up from the bottom of the table and tapped the top of the staff on its flat surface. “Yes, Edric, come in here.”  

Edric came in, hair disheveled and yawning deeply. He stretched his arms until there was a small, audible popping sound. “What’s going on?” He rubbed the tiredness from his eyes and caught a glimpse of the staff. “Oh, cool staff! Where did you get it?”  

Odalia did not respond to her son’s inquiries. Instead, she walked closer to him with the staff. Edric felt uncomfortable and tried to step back. This did not deter his mom, however. She held the staff’s head above Edric’s head. The spear glowed crimson red and began to “feed.”  

A vapor slipped out of the orifices of Edric’s face. They came together to create one green, thick puff of an amorphous, shapeless mass and was absorbed into the spear. Edric gagged and wobbled the more that the staff drew from him. He grabbed onto one of the chairs at the table to hold himself up whilst grasping at his throat with his other hand. The color in his skin began to fade away until nothing more than a paper-thin hue remained.  

“Mom, what are you doing?”  

He tried to reach towards his mother, but Odalia continued to hold the staff without issue. She stops draining Edric once he fell on the ground.  

“That might be enough for now,” Odalia said, “but to be sure, I will have to take you with me.”  

[washout-stars]

New Prescription

Bnha Songfic (x male reader)

TW: Homophobic slur, attempt suicide, cursing, and depression, basicly a whole lotta dark themes.

The song is Boys Will Be Bugs, by cavetown.

---------------------------

I’m a dumb teen boy, I eat sticks and rocks and mud

 I sat on the cold wet ground. Rain pouring down on my shivering body. My breath is visible and the tips of my fingers icy. But I still stayed sitting outside as I talked absentmindedly to the snails and worms.

 Then I heard a shivering voice yell out aggressively.

“Hey dumbass! What the fuck are you doing out here in this weather!” I flinched and turned my head quickly in the direction the voice came from. My [e/c] eyes landing on a familiar face.

I don’t care about the government and I really need a hug

 Scoffing I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the bugs. My wet hair stuck to my face as did my clothes, it was uncomfortable. The bandages on my face soaking, the stickiness almost gone. I bore it though, liking the rain, and liking talking to my only friends more.

I feel stupid, stupid, ugly, ugly, pretend it doesn’t bother me

 I heard a curse come from the guy and footsteps entered my hearing. And soon they stopped as he reached my form. He grabbed my arm and yanked me up. I yelled out In protest.

I’m not very strong but I’ll fuck you up if you’re mean to bugs

“Get up fucker, you’re going to get sick!” He yelled as he tried to pull me back inside the dorm building. His hand was warm causing me to have an urge to hold it in my freezing ones.

It’s getting cold down here underneath the weather, I’d skip class to sit with you, I really like your spotty sweater, if ladybugs are girls how do you make kids together, what’s it like in a female world I bet it’s just so much better

I continued to struggle against his grip. Twisting and turning my body in every direction I could. He wasn’t giving up though, him practically dragging me to the dorms doors.

I just turned fourteen and I think this year I’m going to be mean, don’t mess with me I’m a big boy now and I’m very scary

“Stop! Don’t mess with me! I’m very scary!” I shouted and tried to pull my arm out of his firm grasp. I used my other arm to punch him in the face.

I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate

 He groaned out in pain, falling to the floor with a ‘splash’. In the process letting go of my arm. He looked up at me with a fierce glare, his teeth baring.

“WHAT THE FUCK! I’m try to fucking help you! You’re going to get sick! Stop being so fucking  annoying!” He yelled at me as he stood up. Angrily closing the small gap we had between us from where he fell. 

Don’t message me cause I won’t reply, wanna make you cry

“I don’t need your help! Fuck off Bakugou!” I tried to shove him back but he grabbed my small wrist in his hand, stopping me. I gasped in shock as a sensation went down my spine when he touched me.

“Yes you do need my help! Stop fucking pushing me away dipshit! You’re hurt and you feel like the world is against you, but stop shutting me out!” He shouted as he placed his other hand on my cold, red, cheek. I instinctively leaned into his touch, missing the warmth he gave off.

Ain’t that how it’s supposed to be, though it isn’t me, boys will be bugs right?

Realizing my actions I shoved him away from me as hard as I could. My body stiff and shaking, but previous training had kept my body strong and in shape. He stumbled back a bit letting out a shocked gasp. Hurt flashed over his features, but it was quickly replaced with a mean scowl.

Boys will be bugs right?

“Fine [Y/n] I’ll leave you the fuck alone! I’m fucking done trying to help you!” He yelled and stormed off into the dorm, letting the doors slam shut.

I fell down to my knees, sobs escaping my mouth. ‘Fuck I really am so fucking pathetic.’ I held onto myself as I cried, rain pouring down on me. My body shaking, hands freezing, and my breath visible. I was sure to get sick, but I didn’t care.

I’m a dumb teen boy all I wanna do is quit, my mom told me that she’s worried, and I couldn’t give a shit

After my phone call with my mom I sat staring at my pill bottle. The conversation went awful, my mother not supportive of me being gay. She told me to kill myself, that no one would miss me, that I’m worth nothing. That I’m a disgusting fag.

Maybe I should kill myself, maybe she’s right. 

No not maybe, she is right.

I have friends who understand me, their names are spider, beetle, bee, they don’t say much but they have always listened to me

Knocks were heard on the other side of my door, causing me to flinch. I slowly stood to open my door, worried to see who was on the other side. Once the door was opened there stood Tamaki, he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

His head looked up from the ground when I fully opened the door, he gave me a shaky smile. I sighed and forced a smile back. I stepped back slightly to let him in, which he took notice of and quickly shuffled inside. He sat wearily on my bed, wringing his hands around, something he does when anxious.

“I uh- I wanted to see how you were, I haven’t seen you around lately,” he whispered out shakily, the tips of his ears a light pink.

The other boys at school think it’s cool to hate your parents, but they’re lying all the time, the bugs advise that I should let them

Maybe before I would have thought that he was cute, that it was nice he was checking up on me. Now though, it’s just annoying, he doesn’t care. No one cares, no one understands. I should just kill myself like my dumbass mother said.

“I’m fine,” I snapped at him as he flinched. I felt bad but I pushed that down. I’m not going to get hurt again trying to play friends with someone who doesn’t care.

“O-oh,” he stood shakily, his head hung low, “I’m sorry.” He spoke low, scared, and hurt. His voice shaking as he walked over to the door. He looked at me once more, a pleading look in his eyes.

If you wanna cry make sure that they never see it

I turned my head, avoiding his sorrow gaze. I knew if I made him feel awkward enough, hurt enough he’d leave. He would never want to feel like a bother to someone else. I heard the door close and my eyes started to water.

Even better yet block it out and never feel it

I angrily whipped at my eyes and picked up the discarded pill bottle. I opened it and dumped three onto my hand. I tilted my head back and shoved the pills into my mouth, swallowing them dry. I let tears roll down my pale, tired face.

I just turned fourteen and I think I know everything

I laid down on my messy bed and curled into a ball. Silent tears coming out like a sink faucet turned on. Everything hurts, but the pills will help me feel better.

Help me feel nothing, but emptiness.

Don’t mess with me I’m a big boy now and I’m very scary, I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate

 I walked through the school halls, ignoring the judgmental looks I received. Snapping at anyone who had something to say to me. Avoiding the ones who act like they cared for me, when I know they don’t.

“[Y/n]! Hey are you okay dude? You don’t look too good,” a ‘concern’ voice spoke out. I whipped my head in the direction it came from, seeing Kirishima.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “I’m fine, leave me alone.” I continued to walk ignoring the hurt look that stayed on his face.

Don’t message me cause I won’t reply, wanna make you cry, ain’t that how it’s supposed to be, though it isn’t me

I picked up my pace as I saw Bakugou walking up to me. I heard him scoff and he rushed forward to grab onto my wrist. I groaned in frustration and tried to shove him off.

“[Y/n], fucking stop! This shit isn’t fucking like you-!” He yelled down at my slightly shorter self.

I frowned and angrily cut him off, ”You don’t know that! You don’t know how I am! You out of everyone fucking else don’t get to know that!”

Boys will be bugs right?

He looked guilty for a second but quickly recovered. An angry, hurt, annoyed, and a little concerned looked rested on his face. I frowned a bit more at that, feeling confused with myself.

“I fucking told you already dipshit, it wasn’t what it looked like,” he squeezed onto my wrist a bit more and looked down, “I’m not that fucking messed up person everyone fucking paints me out to be.”

Boys will be bugs right? Just turned fourteen and I think this year I’m going to be mean

“Whatever Bakugou, it’s not like you even liked me back in the first place,” I whispered out, my tone harsh.

He quickly looked at me, his face twisted in confusion.

“What? That’s not true! Who fucking told you that, was it some dumbass fucking extra!?” He yelled angrily as he placed a hand onto my cheek. His face twisted in anger, but his gaze soft as they looked at me.

Just turned fourteen and I think I know everything, just turned fourteen and I think this year I’m gonna be mean, just turned fourteen and I think the world revolves around me 

“No dumbass, no one needs to tell me anything I could fucking tell,” I spoke quickly my voice sharp. I leaned away from his touch, even though my heart was screaming at me to get closer. In contrast to my heart my brain was yelling at me, reminding me of the truth. All the yelling was causing my head to pound and my eyes to sting.

He’s lying!

Don’t believe him!

He already fooled you once, don’t let him do it again!

No one would want you!

Don’t mess with me I’m big boy now and I’m very scary

His expression turned softer as he moved to place his hand onto my cheek again. His grip tight on my wrist, as if I would slip away again. Which I probably would have if given the chance, at least that’s what I’d like to think.

But when his crimson eyes met my [e/c] ones, I felt frozen in place. A forced away emotion building up inside of me once again. It scared me, but it also sent a thrill throughout my drugged system.

I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do Karate, don’t message me cause I won’t reply, wanna make you cry

I glared at him, but didn’t move away from his touch. I knew I shouldn’t feel like this, but it. No he was intoxicating , and I craved for him. More than I craved for the pills that numbed me every time I took them.

My glare was cold and full of annoyance, but he ignored it. He smirked down at me as he spoke.

“I see you’re still the same, even when mad you still wanted me to show you affection, it’s so fucking cute.”

Ain’t that how it’s supposed to be though it isn’t me, boys will be bugs right?

And then that wall I worked so hard to put up around my heart broke. And it felt scary, but it also felt like I was free. I let tears roll down my face as I put my hands on his cheeks.

“And you’re still the same over fucking confident guy, who thinks he’s better than everyone, when he’s not, cause you have your flaws too Katsuki,” a smile tugged at the corners of my lip. Tears entering my mouth, letting me taste the saltiness of them. 

Don’t mess with me I’m a big boy now and I’m very scary, I punch my walls stay out at night and I do karate

His smirk grew wider as he wrapped his free arm tightly around my waist. Pulling me closer to his fit body.

“I really fucking missed you loser.” 

Don’t message me cause I won’t reply wanna make you cry, ain’t that how it’s supposed to be, though it isn’t me, boys will be bugs right?

I moved my arms to clasp together behind his neck. He leaned down slightly to put his forehead against mine.

“I bet you did,” I smiled at him slightly. He rolled his eyes but he had a smile rested softly on his features. I chuckled slightly at this which caused him to groan.

“Why the fuck are you laughing!” He yelled out playfully, but also slightly annoyed. Causing me to laugh more, missing this, missing him.

“Nothing Katsuki, everything is perfect,” I smiled up at him.

He grinned, our eyes locking. He held a look in his eyes, one I would describe as fondness. We stood close, our hands wrapped around each other. And a fond, loving, look in our eyes.

He leaned down slowly, cautiously. I smiled a bit more and leaned up to meet his lips. Our eyes closing, and lips softly pressing together. Everything felt right, everything felt euphoric.

.

.

And then I woke up, tears streaming down my face. I reached over and grabbed my pill bottle, aggressively opening it. Dumping out as many as I could onto my shaking hand. I looked over at the letter I wrote, which was resting on top of my desk, a frown rested on my sunken face.

I shook my head from any thoughts and tilted my head back. I shoved the pills in my mouth and swallowed hard, the pills going down dry. It hurt, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt for long. I cried as I laid back down on my bed, head pounding and heart racing.

It would all be over soon, I would be free from heartache. I would be gone and I wouldn’t be a hassle to anyone.

Boys will be bugs right?

I don’t know how long I laid, but my vision started to blur, and I felt nauseous. I let my heavy eyes close, my brain shutting down, and I felt cold. I felt light, and then I was gone.

.

.

.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Soft beeping entered my hearing, my breathing slow. I felt a weight on my arm, as well as wetness. I moved my eyes around from behind my closed eyes, darkness being the only thing I saw. Confusion flooded my system, my heart rate picking up, causing the soft beeping to pick up. I heard a gasp as soft hands grabbed onto mine, squeezing them tight.

“Please, wake up [Y/n],” their voice was raspy, as if they had been crying. The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t quite match it to a face.

Memories of what I had tried to do flashed through my head, a soft gasp passing my lips. I snapped my eyes open, quickly sitting up. I was in a hospital, on a hospital bed, wires attached to me. I looked over to the person who held tightly onto my hand. A soft, relieved smile rested on his lips. His eyes watery as he leapt forward, pulling me into a tight hug.

“Fuck man, I thought I lost you, I thought I didn’t get you here on time!” he cried out, tears falling onto my thin hospital gown. I shakily wrapped my arms around his lean frame, and shoved my face into his choppy black hair. Breathing in his scent of faint weed, and his favorite candle scent mint.

“What happened? Why are you here?” I mumbled out into his soft hair. I have always been close to Sero, but I was never really able to hang out with him while I was ‘with’ Bakugou. Bakugou would get jealous, even though he wouldn't admit it, whenever I was with Sero. It’s funny cause I did end up developing a crush on him, but why would he like me back.

“I uh- I went to check up on you cause I missed my more relaxed homie, and I was worried cause I heard that you’ve been depressed lately,” he spoke lowly as he pulled me closer, “When I knocked on the door it was already slightly opened so I peeked inside.”

He breathed in shaikly,” that's when I saw you, and the letter, along with the pills.” He let tears flow down his face again as he recalled the scene, “I knew what you were doing, so without any thought I picked you up and used my quirk to get us here quickly.”

It was silent, the only sound was the machine attached to my wrist beeping softly. Regret flew through my system, ‘I thought I closed and locked the door before I went to sleep, I guess not.’ I sighed and pushed him away slightly, softly. I placed my cold hands on his tear stained cheeks, pressing our foreheads together.

“I-I’m sorry,” I croaked out, tears falling down my face. It was weird seeing Sero so emotional, he was never really one to act like this. Maybe that's why I felt a bit more guilty. He closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

“Please, just don’t do that again, I know you feel betrayed by Bakugou, and you're hurting, but I want to help, I want to show you what love feels like, and I would never try to hurt you,” He whispered, pulling me closer. My eyes widened and a soft blush covered my cheeks, and ears.

“We don’t have to date right now, but when you feel a bit better, maybe we can go out together,” he continued, a little scared but determined. He opened his eyes and met my gaze, flashing his signature grin.

“Okay, I would like that, but I swear to go if you hurt me I’ll hurt you,” I huffed but a small smile rested on my face.

He laughed out, “Of course dude, I give you my full consent, but it will never get to that point!”

And I felt a little happy, Sero and I exchanging soft looks and smiles in a hospital room, wires plugged into me. My ‘ex's’ best friend who was lean and silly, holding each other close, how ironic. Maybe, this is the new prescription I needed, one that would help heal my system of heartache. Yeah, I could get used to this, him and his lame jokes, his faint smell of weed, and his dorky smile.

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 11 notes (i’ll fix them one day but i’m agro this was tea hate this)

Two minute one shot while dom pees

Adam has a floaty tube

Asyna can't turn into a hippo

Giant seahorse

Jane austen

Elizabethh and darcy my hands are shaking

Dom has 4e books

Dom was pretty out of it last session

It's afternoon

Dom is toasty

In jacob's other campaign a goat bit off his penis so the goat's name is richard byter

"at first the goat was reluctant"

"what a goat"

Last week on dragon heist

We were meandering through the city

"one of you met with an old friend, briefly"

Zoo time

Aerana knows where the zoo is in the sea ward

Raised brick gate w high walls; on top are intricate metal railing spiked stuff

Entrance is v wide, not too many people going in bc it's raining a lot

Maybe

Apparently the weather is super important and I still don't know why the weather is so important

It is currently raining

Pouring

Ticket booth in the front

Gold piece per person

Botanic repository

We walk up to the booth covering ourselves w the hoods we have

Velvet rope line but we just navigate through it like in shrek

Adam goes first

Walks in and see smiling figure, human male middle-aged, heavyset, festive outfit, "thank you for visiting - oH how's it going?!" it's volo

He's doing research for his newest obok

Hi jacob's dad

Jacob's gonna go fishing

Volo under impression he would be one of zoological experts but no

"recommendations?"

They brought monsters in from the isle of chault

Points us off to the exhibit to go

Originally zoo was not a zoo as we think of but like throwing them in a pit and being like look at them think httyd

Now it's closer to what we'd consider a modern day zoo

Lots of foliage

It's a big zoo

Like the San diego zoo

Or disneyland

Dom talks abt his brother's haircut

We can run through it

Can asyna just sprint

Aerana and asyna r gonna run

Adam cel and theo r gonna not run

Most of the zoo taken up by exhibits devoted to the island

Looking in the entryway a lot of ppl r carrying pamphlets n papers and speaking in foreign tongues like tourists or smth ig

Adam casts disguise self to make him look as fancy as everyone else

Has feathered cloak

Three major pathways

Chault exhibits for weird stuff r left

Marine stuff and some chault r forward

To the right r monsters from the interior continent

Adam cel and theo (?) go to the right

Most ppl r in pairs

A lot of biologist-type ppl; ppl who look like they're used to handling animals

First real exhibit on the right is a human woman inside the exhibit throwing down pieces of meat to lions

Is asyna a moon druid ? Yes

How did the human woman get there ? But she doesn’t notice

"does this zoo have dippin dots" - lillian 2020

Perception check, 15

There r ppl selling stuff, sees dejected gnome sitting under a pedal cart w a dingy umbrella and he's grumpy n angry

Adam walks over to him

Selling diff snacks n refreshments

He's mostly selling a fizzle pop

Strawberry flavor, blueberry, butterfly flavor

"are ur fizzle pops made w organic butterflies ? Bc I'm kinda on a diet rn"

Adam says it's disgusting

"I'll have a blueberry thank you"

Cel is gonna try the butterfly one

It's sweet; doesn't taste like blood but does taste almost nutty

So like what I would think pistachio tastes like

Fun size popsicle

Theo gets strawberry

They go to the next exhibit

A really vertical exhibit

 Oneshot

Cel is gonna try and ride seahorse asyna but rolls a nat 1 for acrobatics and then a nat 1 for dex save

Smashes head on rim of the pool, bleeding out and unconscious

Healing words from adam

Climbs out of the pool

The water is now red

Three children on the other side of the pool

One of them gets really excited and pees when adam tells them that there's a chemical that turns pool water red

Asyna left the pool when the kid peed

Asyna leads everyone over to the hospital

Adam is gonna try and healing words fix cel

Cel is back to full health

One of the kids is crying scared when she finds out the water is blood

Theo is gonna go get the kids ?

Ok back to the zoo

There's a hippo exhibit

We go check it out

On the way there run into different typical zoo stuff

Apes

Monkeys

The younger ppl r around these exhibits

A lot of closed sections bc of weather like "don't worry next winter this animal will be back"

Alligators

Ringtails that r lemurs ringtail lemurs

Birds

Carefully curated trees that r uber high

Hawks and giant eagles

Oops my phone froze

Tap on the glass to say hi to the what now

Theo wants it to come say hi to her

Animal handling check, 10

Can't attract their attention but

The hippos

Asyna has speak with animals LMAO

Basically can't talk to worms

No more tapeworm talk :/

"Theo says hi . This is theo"

"everybody gangsta until they find out jacob thinks barney is a hippo" - dom 2020

Colombian drug lord one time built private zoos and the hippos broke out but now there's a hippo problem in colombia

Pablo escovar

Speak with animals is ten minutes

We're also probably fighting later

We're gonna talk to the hippos

Theo waves

One of them paddles over and tries to sniff

"hm . Can you eat it ?"

"pleaes don't"

 I just remembered seaweed is not a plant it's an algae

This hippo does not have a name

Calls sister sister

"ask about juicy hippo gossip" - adam

"no but if I did I would share it"

Originally zoo was place for research

Anything else to ask hippos before we check out rare animals ?

The hippo floats away and we say bye

To the chault exhibits

Getting late but there r a lot more researchers

First exhibit has a lot of strange, unfamiliar trees

Monkeys w really big fluffy sideburns clustering around overhanging branches bc it's raining

Some of them r taking leaves and using them to keep the rain off

One of the monkeys hops off the branch

The sideburns actually extend into wings and it goes to another branch

"it's like the wizard of oz"

"adam what's the wizard of oz"

Flying monkeys

Adam walks over to a researcher and asks the most must-see

Woman who is probably from chault bc wearing strange woven beret w branches n stuff

Alien to anything they've seen

"I would point you in the direction of the behemoths"

"what are behemoths"

Adam rolls nature check

9, he doesn't know what a behemoth is

She is from chault

Behemoths r considered friends there

Asyna and aerana know where chault is

Everyone else just knows chault is v far away, almost like a nightmare story told to children

Described as a hellscape

"I'd sooner go to chault than-"

Asyna and aerana know chault is a massive island to the sw of the sword coast, home to v tropical, intensely humid climate w lots of rain + some invasions in the past but now things r opening up

We're gonna check out the behemoths

From a distance, this exhibit much larger than others, much more heavily excavated

Not so much walls as railing looking into a deep cavern

All manner of plant life brought in to accommodate the creatures

Huge lizard of some kind

Huge size category

Irl a horse is large

Humans and dwarves are medium

Exhibit says it's a macetail behemoth

Ground trembles w each step of the behemoth

Slow, ponderous

Gigantic armored lizard w tough plating on its back and spikes on the sides of its head w bony, protective coverings all over it

Massive swinging tail protruding bone swinging back and forth as it walks

Looks like that one dinosaur

We would call it an ankylosaurus

Things that go over my head : see description bullet points before this

Tail end of speak with animals

Asyna can turn into dinosaurs

"you look really cool do you have a name"

One of them looks up but doesn't really respond

Doesn't answer

Look for velociraptors

Gonna look at all the exhibits

Spirehorn behemoths

Faces almost look like shields

Triceratops

Alien to us tho

I can't believe that like as dom's explaining these everyone else can like ,, imagine it

Like that's crazy they see pictures inside their heads

Feathered behemoths

Occasionally jump around

Claws and walk around on two legs

Bloodspike behemoth

Stegosaurus, baby and two parents

Asyna can turn into a deinonychus

We have enough time for one more exhibit

We see a creature alone in its pen save for two researchers dropping treats in front of it, other has a pickaxe and is tapping the ground and scooping smth up trailing the creature and brushing it into a bin

Creature reflects rainbow of colors ? I think

Huge snail, has three eyestalks but they kind of droop down and have heavy spikes off each individual one

Cel reads description

Flail snail?

It's a big boi

Described not as a beast but as something that comes from a realm of earth

As it moves it excretes glass

Generally docile but if prodded r really dangerous bc the things it has r more weapons than eyes

Adam asks if it's a petting exhibit

The flail snail is just as slow as a regular snail

"that is the most disgusting magic resistance I've ever seen in my entire life" - jacob 2020

Everything starting to shut down

We realize we should probs skedaddle

Time to find loser boy

Rain has not stopped but has kinda calmed down

Heading straight to the wig shop

Lamps in the trades ward r lit

Brighter than what we've seen recently

Adam peers into the shop

Perception check

6, tries to get water off the window, looks empty

Theo's gonna pick the lock

25, it's a simple lock and theo gets it open easily

Shop is empty

Somewhat eerie for those without darkvision bc the mannequins

Cel will go and investigate the back room, door is locked

Theo tries opening again

23, opens easily

Immediately smells weird powder

A lot of the perfumes for preserving dyes n stuff kept back here

Cel makes a perception check

16

V organized, neat and tidy

Manhole cover in the back

Sewer system v advanced in waterdeep but also means there's a lot of it

A lot of ppl will build over sewer openings bc cheaper real estate

"sewer access authorized city officials only"

Adam rolls nat20 for boxes

Looking for anything necromancy related, licking things, doing all manners of investigation

Feels a small leather sack, pulls it out, kinda heavy

Opens it up, sees coins that are kind of heavier and thicker; not silver, 5 platinum pieces

Platinum is 10 gp each

Could take the platinums

Scry the money and sack

There are cupboards at the front desk

Necromancy considered suspicious, looked down upon

"ah . It's like watching anime ." - jacob 2020

"no, it's not like watching anime" - dom 2020

The art itself is not a crime but the things that occur in tandem w it r usually crimes

Discussing what to do in character

Cel insight check, 16

Earlier dom mentioned we're aware many ppl in waterdeep use the sewers to traverse unseen in the city; kinda suss the building was built on top of a sewer

Adam is borrowing aerana's warhammer

Adam hits the floor, leaves big dent and a v loud sound

Cel makes strength check w advantage w crowbar

Rolls a 12, can't get it open

Can sort of shift it up

Adam smashes a jar over the floor

Dex check, 5

Cloud of neon yellow sprays out like a cloud of dust and smoke, just the color

Covered in bright yellow dye

Theo tries lockpicking

23, lock is more difficult and takes a little longer, but eventually it opens

Once it's opened, the chains undo themselves and snake out on their own accord

It's just a dark hole

Can see a short drop that leads to a staircase

Adam holds lantern

Cel's just gonna go w adam at the front, pitch dark

Darkvision lets us see to some extent; everything is in grayscale

Lantern beam does help us see a little

Asyna closer to front as well

Leads to a room, 10' x 20'

Descending down short flight of stairs, room totally bare save for a barred door that u can see out of, also locked

Hear faintly some water

Theo rolls 23 for lockpicking

Door opens

Adam investigating room for secret door, tunnel, anything

Investigation check, 10 and 5 for investigation checks

Look around but room is barren

Nothing stashed anywhere, nothing to indicate a secret door or anything

Adam and cel step out, to immediate right extends for 10ish feet before merging into wall

Directly in front is water and like a sewer river flowing to the right

"are there any rats" "make a perception check" "nat 1"

To left, passage curves so hard to see but for at least 40 or so feet the pathway continues

Adam rolls another 5 for investigation check

We eventually get to a small stone bridge

I FORGOT I RESEARCHED THE SEWER SYSTEMS idk if I should bring it up I brought it up

A 15 intelligence check

Waterdeep's sewers are a subject of fascination for the city

You know the passageway like the one ur in often has arteries or iron doors set in them leading to different areas

Also know sometimes due to poor planning or smth some areas without walkways also have access tunnels

There's a bridge ? Nasty water under it

Over the bridge we go

Cel rolls a 22, plenty of damp areas around ,, no light in the passage, walking for a minute or so and w each step just hear a wet squelching noise; we're leaving behind wet, muddy footprints

No sign of recent mud in front of us

10 minutes go by and every once in a while pass side arteries w more sewage flowing in

This part seems relatively well planned

Can only go straight ? No other curvature in the path

Traveling south

"I'm gonna try and get that rat" - adam 2020

Adam picks up the rat for sleight of hand check

22

"you're able to grab up that rat pretty good" - dom 2020

Adam holds rat out to asyna and tells her to do her thing

"hey buddy"

"uh you have to cast your spell first"

"hey pal how's it going"

"let me go"

"uh we'll let you go if you answer some of our questions"

"don't even"

"no he's saying don't eat him"

"my friend here holding you is gonna take a big chomp of you if you don't answer our questions"

"have you seen anyone"

"don't know"

"I open my mouth"

"I kind of want to squeak" - marguerite 2020

Rat points north

Adam wants a piece of string to tie onto the rat like a leash

Adam is starting to feel short of breath after 10 minutes of walking

"that's either from the powder . Or the key"

Adam doesn't feel indigestion right now just that it's difficult to get air

Adam tries to tie a leash to the rat

Dex check

Nat1

Rat runs away

We go back the way we came, another 10 minutes, we pass three of those stone bridges

Cel investigation checks the dead end again, adam will give bardic inspiration

"Open sesame" - song

18, nothing there

It's a maze, we'll try naya

Adam takes out sack of platinum

Naya appears, looks around and shudders and bounds away

Following the deer

Naya is guiding back to where we originally where

Moving south again

Looks at passage back again passage then vanishes

Naya was standing on one of the bridges

First artery

It's a passage

We gotta wade through the sewer

Aerana readies weapon

Wading through, halflings get disgusting smth in their boots

Passage goes 20 ft before turning on a diagonal, turn onto passageway then it extends v far into distance

"adam's adding to the sewage right now probably" - jacob 2020

Adam's feeling lightheaded

Cel makes medicine check on adam

Rolls a 6, don't know what's wrong bud

Adam rolls around in the sewer water to get the powder off ??

I guess he is

Adam makes a constitution save, a 3

OH? OH NO

The yellow stuff is off but adam is smeared in shit

Did I make a good or bad decision

We keep going but adam feels better like fine like nothing's wrong

Oh no adam's gonna die it's like hypothermia where u feel super hot at first then u die

Passageway stretches on for awhile until coming across a rusty ironed door raised so that we'd have to step up to access it

Aerana makes perception check on the door, 20 not a nat

Hears people shouting and what appears to be a cat

Can't tell if the shouting is bad or not

Theo wrings out cape

Go up to the door, realize there's no lock; the entire lock has fallen out bc the door is so rusty

Adam checks door for traps, 12 investigation

Does not appear to be trapped, looks p old

Adam is in middle, cel towards back, aerana at front

About 25' ahead is a wider chamber and a door set into the wall, the areas are lit

We already walked through the rusty door

Massive screeching sound that came from the door when u opened it

Gotta b stealthy

Door to the right is unlocked

Adam opens the door open, looks like a storage room w different crates and sacks; bland

Some water barrels, adam pours it on himself; the rest of us also do it

Moving into room adjacent to passageway; triangle things in the wall has arrow stuff to make it easier to fire from but the room looks abandoned

Deeper in we go

Don't go that far but hit a wider room extending out 40'

Center of the room; at one point looks like there was a wall covering the room but has since collapsed; several ppl looking at us

Far corner opposite to us is an old halfling man in dark robes, clutching wound at chest, long gray braid down back staring at us as if he heard we were coming

In front of him are two smiling skeletons

It's the necromancer

The skeletons r also looking at us

They appear to be guarding him

In front of skeletons are three kenku looking at us

Bingbong is not one of the kenku

"I can explain" - adam

"we came down here and I was covered in shit and" adam casts pyrotechnics centered in between skeletons and kenku

Initiative

Aerana, 19

Cel, 17

Asyna, 15

Adam, 15

Theo, 9

Aerana

Holds attack, if kenku move within 5 ft of her she'll attack

Cel

Skeletons have bows and shortswords

Kenkus have shortswords

Will hold an action if attacked

Skeletons

Appear to b human skeletons, medium size

Lash out at kenku

One kenku able to parry away an attack, other skeleton slashes another kenku

Asyna

Attacks kenku closest to her, the one not hit

15, "what are you attacking with" "iiiiiiiii don't knowwwwwwwwwww"

Asyna turns into ape

Runs up to terrified kenku

Swings both times but it gets out of the way and hisses like a cat

Adam

Casts pyrotechnics on kenku

One passes, one fails

Failed one is blinded for next turn

Cutting words on the kenku by asyna

Kenku

Blind

Tries to escape, skeleton misses and kenku staggers away and starts feeling way along wall and runs into room west of where we are

Other one

Makes attack on skeleton, half of ribcage slashed but it's still standing

Other other one

Tries to attack ape, misses

Halfling

Stands up, tries to flee

Theo

Hits kenku that tried to get asyna, 5 damage

Has sneak attack, deals 12 damage

Arrow shot into neck, still alive but not for long

Aerana

13 damage to other kenku

"how do you want to do this"

Kenku drops dead

Skeleton turns smiling to aerana

Cel

15 to hit, 6 damage, dead

"how do you want to do this"

Pulls arrow back as far as she can "and I don't know if it's bingbong, but I'm gonna pretend it's bingbong and shoot it right through his eye socket"

"I want to keep bingbong as a pet" - jacob 2020

"kenku are sentient beings, that would be slavery" - dom 2020

Looking around we see the bodies of three other kenku and remains of two other skeletons

The skeletons attack aerana

One hits, 3 damage

Asyna

Goes into the room to follow the halfling and the kenku

Some kind of exit around

The blinded kenku is in here

Can reach halfling or kenku

Marguerite wants to hug the halfling

Athletics check to do it

21

Old man screams but asyna can hold him, unable to escape

Kenku still feeling around on the floor

Adam

Follows asyna

Gonna cast sleep

Kenku falls asleep

Yells over at the halfling

"can you call off your skeletons please"

Halfling

Loser boy's turn

I don't remember how to spell losser unless it's losser

Tries to escape asyna's grasp

"he does not escape your grasp"

Asyna rolls another athletics check

17, he does not escape

Theo

14 to hit, 16 damage

"how do you want to do this"

Arrow to the skull just goes really far in and the skull falls off as do misc bones

Aerana

Misses hit

Tries to thrust forward w sword but it drops and contracts, sword slipping through ribcage

Cel

19 to hit

8 damage, hits shoulder and arm falls off

Skeleton

Misses

Asyna

Waddles the halfling over to adam

Gives him a little squeeze

Adam

baned halfling

And cutting words

No cutting words nvm

Halfling

Asyna rolls a 25

Can't squirm out

"unhand me there are more of them there are more kenku"

Theo

"ok. Bye bye skeleton boy"

22 to hit

12 damage

"how do you want to do this"

Hits him in the smile; teeth knocked out and all of it collapses like a xylophone type noise as the bones hit the floor

Out of combat

Aerana ties up sleeping kenku

Adam casts charm person

Cel is gonna loot

Investigation check, 7

10 gold combined on the kenku; takes

Halfling is charmed to consider adam a dear old friend

Says he just finished work on his new purse; his fanny pack (basically)

Not sure we recognize the material

Adam says he knows who sent the kenku

"you have the stone"

"they stole it from me"

Says he randomly found a nice stone from a rat

Adam puts his hand on loser boy's shoulder and asks if he wants to work from home

Trying to convince loser boy to come with us

Declines

The purse is made out of elf skin

Bc it's supple

Adam trying to get a magical weapon out of loser boy

Has a potion that protects from necromancers

Persuasion check, 24

Goes into side closet

Damage resist potion

Aerana kills him

Wow are you ?? Desensitized ?? Are you desensitized or does it help not being able to see anything ever

Adam rummages through loser boy's desk

Investigation check, 15

False bottom to one of the desk drawers w 100 gold inside

Cel investigation checks loser boy, 13

Finds a little wand w a skull tip

Adam is gonna look at the purse

This bag is a faint gold

Adam shakes the kenku awake, wisdom 13 saving throw

Fails

Charm person

Making dog noises

"you want to take us to your friends"

"I don't know where they are"

"then let's just go back to your base"

"get back to base ? No one knows where that is"

Adam introduces himself, mentions bingbong

Gets theo and cel's names, mimics sound of a hammer hitting metal when asked his name

His name is bonk now

Asks asyna's name, asyna is still an ape

Big hairy git

Aerana says she'll trade information for her name

Adam swings warhammer into ground to threaten kinda

Adam makes 12 insight check

We don't recognize any of the voices he uses

Asks if we live in a hole

Asks if the house is nice

Copies adam's voice for the house boom

Adam asks if he knows about the puppet

"couldn't tell you if I knew"

Nat20 adam runs insight check across entire conversation

He's lying abt not knowing where his friends are

I DFJGSLGJS THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING ABT US STILL GIVING UP INFORMATION ASFKJAFD

Adam asks him why he was lying

Hear a voice we've never heard before

But this one in particular is bizarre and warped as if it's through some filter

"do you know what happens when you lie to me"

Adam

Anyone w passive perception over 9 hears a bottle break and a door slam in one of the rooms to the south

Cel hits his brain basically

Some of you starting to piece together that smth strange is happening

Pattering of footsteps from room to the south

Session over for the night

[thestarsoutofyourwindow]

A smooth getaway- 7th Doctor x Reader

Requested anonymously.

Anon... this was only a simple request... but I got carried away. It’s probably not too good because this took me an intermittent week to complete.

Word count: 1,744

Warnings: Mild angst (?) at the beginning, fluffy end.

~~

Travelling with the Doctor, what a beautiful thing.

From the time you encountered the Kinda to the time you went to an alien circus, every moment of it is absolutely astonishing. New planets, people and objects.

Then there is the Doctor.

An insane Time Lord, that hurries around time, saving and maintaining the universe.

An alien caretaker. Something different.

You had travelled with him for a while, he had completely changed twice. Yet that didn't stop you hanging around. I suppose he's a hard person to leave, especially after you get attached in the way you did.

You and the Doctor had decided to visit a completely new planet together -well, at least it was new to the both of you-.

"So... Crius 4. Sounds interesting." You state, your eyes fixating on the Doctor.

He chuckled, "Well, There's one way to find out."

"I suppose you're right, Doctor."

The TARDIS materialises with a gentle thump and the doctor -after deciding to leave his umbrella "Due to the weather on Crius"- steps outside.

You hang around a second longer, just to grab a jacket.

As soon as you stepped out, you noticed the Doctor had disappeared. You briefly wondered where he had disappeared to, looking around a cold cave, before you were knocked unconscious.

You see, what you had both failed to research was the fact that Crius was going through one of the greatest wars of all time. Anyone who just appeared or didn't possess sufficient ID was locked up.

"Do you know them, Doctor?"

The Doctor sighed at his captor, "You already know the answer to that, seeing as you found us together."

"Very well." The warden scoffed, pulling a knife out of its sheath. "What are they to you?"

"I hardly know them." The Doctor looks the warden in the eye.

"Liar. Just before I came in you were-"

At this point, you stirred. waking up to your head on the cold concrete floor, which seemed somehow warmer than the rest of the room, which was also devoid of furniture and anything.

"Doctor?" You spoke in a hoarse voice, tugging at your handcuffed hands, sitting up to look at him, "Where are we?"

The warden glared at you, inhaling weightily and shouts, "This is hardly the time, you pathetic thing!"

You fall silent, realising what must've happened. Of course. Just your luck.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat my friend here like that."

After a small bit of threatening conversation, you had reached a level of understanding with them. They thought that the Doctor was a spy from the opposition, and 'need' his cooperation to tell them everything about the enemy plans. He kept insisting that you weren't involved in the war at all.

"Well Doctor, if you keep refraining from telling us the truth about your operations, we have one solution."

The Doctor grimaced at the warden, glancing at you for a moment. "Oh?"

"We'll have to torture it out of you."

Your heart rate rose at that, the thought of the Doctor in pain making you uncomfortable. No, it infuriated you.

"You'll get nothing out of me by torturing me."

The warden chuckled in a sinister manner, "We weren't planning to. Your partner, however... that should get you to open up, right?"

"No! Not them, I'll help you as long as you don't hurt them."

"Too late." He stated in a sing-song voice, standing over you. "Get up, or I'll slit your throat."

You shakily stood, with only a small bit of difficulty. He grabbed your hair and pulled your head backwards. You closed your eyes, taking shallow breaths as a knife was pressed against your throat.

"Go on, say goodbye." The warden hissed.

"Goodbye, Y/n."

"Be careful, Doctor."

You were thrown into a much colder, smaller grey cell with only a rough bed against the back wall (It just about fit in the room). You immediately began to think of ways out, but every way out had a few snags.

About three days in the cell, the warden came into the room. You were sat, staring at the blank wall.

"Look at me."

You turn your head and allow your eyes to settle on him, before zoning out again.

He blabbered insults, supposedly trying to get you to share anything.

Once the warden got irritated, he began to push, kick and hit you, but you just tried not to react.

After he had taken his anger out on you, you had a cut lip, bloody nose and a bruised cheek and body. Your knees and ankles were weak and felt as though they were on fire. One thing you had done was move so your hands were now in front of you, instead of behind, which just involved you moving the handcuff chain underneath you. As he turned to talk to your cell guard, you managed you grab his keychain from his belt.

As soon as he left, you quietly searched for the handcuff key on the massive chain.

It took you many attempts to find the right one. You had sore wrists from how tight the handcuffs were, but you sprung into action. You quietly approach the door and tap it.

"Guard?" You ask. The door opened a crack.

"Wot."

"Is there any chance I could get some water?"

"No."

"If I die, you won't be able to get any more information from the Doctor." You state, "And dehydration is a thing I'm very vulnerable to."

"I'll see wot I can do, lass." The Guard pushes the door shut, and you hear footsteps fade. You find the right key as fast as you can and slide out of your room. The corridors were surprisingly empty. His cell was just the other side of the corridor, so you moved as quickly and quietly as you could. Stupidly, there was only one guard for both of you, who was right outside of your door. You test the same key on his door, and the door unlocks. You hear the Doctors' breathing pick up, and you shush him. You peek in, and you realise the Doctors' state was worse than yours. He was much weaker and appeared to have irritated the guard so much he had gone back on his claim about not harming the Doctor.

"No reason to be so alarmed, dear." You smile. The Doctor beams at that, looking at you. You approach the Doctor and unlock his handcuffs. "After you."

You managed to find the cave opening, but the TARDIS seemed to be so far away - you couldn't even see it, and the cave was so cold any water that seeped in from the ceiling had turned in to icicles, which looked rather beautiful in the dark. In fact, the cave appeared to have an entire ecosystem of cold-resistant, glowing creatures that gave off the teeny bit of light you had. There were groups of seemingly tiny bugs that gave off a lot of light; and lone green worms that went about their business.

There was once a waterfall in the cave, alluding to a warmer time, where life would've flourished. However, the once-waterfall had glaciated - seemingly preserved in one point in time. A few of the bolder yellow snail-like creatures ventured near the spectacle which was seemingly avoided.

"No time for ogling." You whispered.

"So much," The Doctor shivered, "For a smooth getaway."

You chuckled, your head tilting backwards, "And I was doing so well."

The Doctor rolled his shoulders backwards.

"This is a surprisingly cold cave, hm?" He'd ask, tightening his arms around his torso.

You look at him with an empathetic smile. Shrugging off your coat, the Doctor asks you what you think you're doing.

"You're cold, I'm not. Simple problem; simple solution." You smile, throwing the clothing over his shoulders and rubbing his back. You realised it was a little colder than you expected, but that injured time lord couldn't make it through this temperature alone. "Is that any better?"

"Uhm... yes? Although I could be warmer, the jacket is appreciated."

You smile as the TARDIS slowly came into view.

You had dragged each other to the medbay and you were taking care of your own wounds and cleaning up. You had started with the grazes and small cuts on your skin, and then leaving to the bathroom to have a quick shower.

As you walk past the Medbay and peek in, you were surprised that the Doctor was still there awkwardly pulling at a bandage on his leg.

"Are you okay?" You hummed, strolling into the room and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm just a bit shaken." He reassured, standing up and facing you. "I'm just glad you're okay." The Doctor pulls you into an unexpected hug, his arms going around your waist, settling on your upper back.

You gently rub one of his shoulders.

You stood there for a while, it's not like you were complaining, though. You had had a crush- no, you had been in love with him for almost all of the time you had been travelling together. You understood, of course, that the Doctor could never really love a human. That was very clear in your mind.

That's why you were startled by the words he spoke...

"Y/n, I love you."

You both stood in silence for a moment, arms still wrapped around each other. In the silence, you pulled away from him, looked him in the eye and uttered,

"Really?"

The almost heartwrenching tone in your voice -the word drawn out and doubting- prompted the Doctor to cringe internally, had he really done such an abhorrent job at conveying his feelings for you?

"Of course. I wouldn't lie about something so serious, Y/n. I'm so-"

You were delirious, "But I thought- you said... never with a human."

"I suppose love makes its' own rules." The Doctor mumbles, making expectant direct eye-contact with you.

You smile warmly, "Well, I love you too. Promise."

"Oh." The Doctor chuckled in a nervous and really quite adorable way, "Well, I was going to apologise, but this is a much nicer outcome."

"I know you don't like labels that much, so... uh." You take a deep breath, "Would you like to be my significant other?"

"Of course, there's no one else I- that came out wrong. I.."

You just giggle at how awkward he comes across, "You don't have to say anything else."

[crlnsmnt]

today — but truly the day before yesterday

there was a day in which I woke up and I am not sure what time it was [and I am also pretty sure this is very irrelevant right now] but I woke up and it was a day.

a day it was, a day: a day in which an album had just come out and I listened to it lying down on the couch that we bought a few months ago. we bought it between canals in a building made of some sort of history and thin walls that are thinner than one's heater would wish they were. when we decided to buy it, I am quite sure there was nothing in mine or anyone else's mind that would've led anyone to think I'd end up listening to FETCH THE BOLT CUTTERS lying on it — also because back then, a few months ago, the album wasn't yet such a public thing as it now is, now that it is out in the world. when I finished listening to it for the first time, deezer did its thing that it does when you finish listening to an album and it started playing it all again from the start. no, wait: maybe it's not a deezer thing: maybe it's a thing when you have that button that repeats things in their entirety once they are done? and so I took that to mean I should and would very much like to perhaps listen to it right then at least a second time — which is not an idea I followed through when it had happened the time before but still. and so I was lying very still still and I waited for the bolt cutters to fetch me from whatever was keeping me inside. 

and yes sure I cried. but isn't it such an artless thing to say — "I cried"... isn't it what most humans do from time to time? and it doesn't mean anything in specific: it means as much as "I breathed" or "I ate" or "I walked" or "I stood up" or some sort of action like that that one might put after "I". and so what it is to say — what does it mean to say that "I cried"? 

yes I guess it is a way of avoiding the crying itself and why it happened and why it took me to a mountain I sometimes pretend I don't know and perhaps it's also a way to say that I just used a mountain as a metaphor for something else I don't want to say out loud, I don't want to write with all the letters that belong to it, I don't want to be louder than a whisper in the dead of night when you are walking alone inside an empty park that keeps you both detached and connected and lost and found. yes don't we all here inside me wish that that metaphor could've used a field or a forest or woods or a beach as an image but no: no, it used a park: it used a park because it was a different feeling, a different zone of being alive, different from the feeling the other things listed give out. I used a park because it was that day when you and I were walking inside it and it was night and I was drunk and high and you and my husband had seen each other on the train and both of you knew very well what was going on and you talked. yes, that is why I used a park. are we all collectively happy now?

and that is why I said I cried and that is why I used a park and not something else and that is why I talk of mountains when indeed I mean something else, something I don't know — maybe a mountain of feelings yes maybe that is what it is but then again maybe it is not.

now this makes less sense than it did before but I won't go back and edit anything out. and you'd be wrong to think I won't because no one will read this because you, dear reader, don't exist at all. you would be wrong, all of you in ethereal non-life. I won't edit it because they are my words and limbs and they are my words now and they come out as they came out and I do not intend to amputate myself any more than it is necessary to amputate oneself from time to time. luckily enough I am one of those animals that I can't name, a starfish perhaps if that's even an animal at all, that you can cut and cut and cut and somehow — somehow! somehow. and I can amputate myself too from time to time because limbs keep growing out. 

and that is how I feel about the album that I listened lying down on my couch the day it came out. is it clear enough? should I try and spell it out?

there is nothing that could make me more different than Fiona Apple and her album but there is also nothing that could make us even more alike. there is nothing at all that is not something it is and nothing that will not be what it will. her voice and lyrics and melodies and harmonies and whatever other sounds and those of the other people involved speak to me, speak to me, speak to me in softest tones even when it is loud. they speak to me because that is what art is all about and if they don't speak to someone else or if they speak in a language not to be understood by you or you or you and if they don't even speak at all then it is something else entirely that I don't have to account for — and that no art has to either. they speak to me speak to me speak to me, all her sounds. to me alone and to thousands at the same time. I am sitting in her living room while her dogs run and bark around. I am hiking with the sounds. I am climbing hills with them. I am walking at the beach and they are with me. I am high and looking at the sky, every song by my side. I am a cosmonaut together and alone with someone else and only with me at the same time. they guide me through the labyrinth that I am, that is life, that is Fiona Apple, that is the drum set gone, that is the other voices, that is the bass lines. they speak to me speak to me speak to me, all of them: them all. 

at times like these — and by that I mean all the time! all the time, for years now! —, I know that I will die. but once and again and often and sometimes surprisingly, there are thing that make me feel alive. alive not in the sense of lungs at work, heart is pumping, metabolism is moving somewhat slowly with its hushed sounds. alive not in the sense that I was expelled from an uterus soon enough to kickstart my life. alive not in the sense that at a later point, who knows when, I will be food to worms or if my wishes are kept, ashes somewhere. I am alive. in the sense that amongst thousands of other possibilities, here I am now. here I am now, with all the space dust that is far away from me. with the atoms that make up everything. with a poem by Yeats that I read. with my words that after having learnt them, I create out of the thin air. with the sunshine sometimes shining through the window to reach me, to caress my arm. with trees that feel as much as I do, it feels, when I pass by them. with a mind that might as well be equipped with free will and that as freely as possibly wills. with an entire uncaring universe that in its very uncaringness, cares for us all: us all that are the same though different and apart: us all that are trees and leaves and streams and grass and beach and birds and snails and moths and humans and books and sounds and instruments and babies and cells and clouds and wind and its sibling the breeze and storms and cars and viruses and an ugly building I sometimes pass by. us all that are Fiona Apple's songs. us all that are you and me, you who think I am silly, you who does not care, you who cares a lot, you who understands, you who judges my hand, you who ignores, you who does not read me ever, you who reads everything, you who listens, you who dislikes, you who loves, you who calls, you who is by my side, you who isn't, you whom I don't know, you who knows me too well, you who don't know me at all, you whom I am thinking about right now as I often am because I do and I will keep thinking of because I want to know you are doing alright because of all the people whom I love except the ones that are already dead, you are the one who is not within my reach, you never want to rest on my arms, you who birthed me then hurt me then stopped, you who didn't know what to do with me but did, you who shares your life with me, you who doesn't, you who are many, you who are just one, you who are all irreplaceable. and that is not all. but it might be all for now. 

I can't feel alive all the time. it is as beautiful as it is exhausting: it is as present as it is not: it is as rare as it is frequent: it is as intense as it is tall. but I know I will again feel alive and at one and in communion when I visit that sister of mine whom I don't know, that Fiona growing forever in the beautifulest tree, that fruit bat, that artist human I will never know and forever love...

[blankdblank]

Fin Pt 5

Pt 1  - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4

Tags –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @abiwim, @jotink78, @c-s-stars, @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @thequeenoferebor, @cd1242,  middle-earth-sindaelf

 …

Across your back a set of lilac ribbons settled for a moment before twisting around your sides as you turned for yet another swirling motion across from Tauriel who was standing in as your partner in Thorin’s absence. Your day had started with an eager squid that gently swayed above you between taps on the Prince’s nose stirring him from sleep and you along with him. Over the soft melody playing on the wind up music box along the wall you listened to Prince Legolas in his latest spin around you both taking the place of your passing partner for turns when you and Tauriel would split. In a slightly bored tone he continued his repetition of the proper etiquette and traditions for the upcoming welcoming feast for the long lost Princess they had found.

With a sigh you accepted his hand and teetered a bit through your nest twist under his raised arm Tauriel helped steady you through, “Is a party really necessary?”

Legolas couldn’t help but smirk watching you lower your hand to flick the long strips of ribbons hanging from the braided ribbons forming your halter top at Tauriel’s suggestion of aiding you in trying their traditional tops. It was far more comfortable and supportive than you had assumed at first with how they were knotted into place down the top half of your back leaving your midriff bare. After a chuckle he replied, “Ada is insisting we celebrate.”

“Can’t he find another reason to throw a party?”

Legolas’ smile grew as he replied, “He would, I’m certain, should you mention you were uncomfortable with being the center of attention.”

Teetering between them you tried to make the elegant S path to accept Tauriel’s hold again for your swish backwards then together again earning an awkward giggle from you at your bump against her chest making her giggle in return. “Sorry, again.”

Her smile grew, “You are getting better.”

You nodded as you three spun and twisted together while you sarcastically replied, “Oh yes, leaps and bounds. My long lost adopted family will be proudly watching me slam into the chest and sides of my partners for the night.”

Legolas chuckled again, adding playfully, “Well, Dwarvish dances at least would fit better with that.” Your eyes met his and he chuckled, “There’s a few with bumping involved.” Making you giggle again.

Tauriel replied, “Leaps and bounds Princess. You’ve had a tail for barely a week now, it takes our young at least two years to master theirs completely.”

“Oddly comforting somehow.”

In the doorway the velvety voice of the King sounded as you led the next S motion again only to swivel and catch yourself by grabbing Legolas’ shoulder making him chuckle when he helped you from falling over into Tauriel in your turn to face the King. “Impressive. You’ve made great strides already.”

Playfully you quipped back, “You are a terrible liar.”

With a playful glare he swam closer to you saying, “Lord Elrond and Lord Celeborn will be here by dinner.”

“Will it be the malta worms or the kelp wraps?”

He chuckled lowly accepting your hand to guide you in a spin of his own taking Tauriel’s place as he quickened your pace adoring the flaying ribbons and long braid joining your sheer fins swaying and settling around your softly glowing form and shimmering white and lilac scales. “They are bringing some of their prized salmon for us, and we are preparing the opening mackerel courses. I did think of trying for lobster, but they wader too far for us to search enough out in time.” His eyes scanned over your face after steadying you again once you’d accepted Legolas’ hand after he S formation, “What is that look for?”

“I um, I’m actually allergic to lobster.”

In a pause he turned his head to you, wetting his lips as the thought had completely slipped his mind about Land Elves having weaknesses to certain foods. “What else are you allergic to?”

“Oysters, clams, and certain types of snails.”

Tauriel, “Snails?”

“Um, they’re kind of like land oysters. They live in shells and slowly work their way around looking for food.”

Legolas, “Do they make pearls as well?”

“No. But their shells are beautiful inside.”

Thranduil, “I will ensure my cooks know those allergies.” Taking hold of your waist again his hand settled a bit firmer on your side locking his eyes with yours, “Are you nervous?”

“Honestly?” He nodded, “I’m more nervous about making a fool of myself in front of all your guests through the dancing. I don’t know Lord Elrond and, we’re not actually related my what you’ve told me. I don’t expect much past a friendly hello and a few questions.”

Legolas chuckled as he quickly spun in front of you accepting your hands for the hold to guide you through your motions with him, “You will be pleasantly surprised then at Lady Celebrian giddily clinging to you as her new baby Sister.”

Scoffing at his reply you turned to the King who grinned playfully stealing an extra brush of his tail against yours silently loving the tingling it caused through his body while his palms smoothed against yours. Tauriel turned eyeing the messenger arriving to claim the message as the King stated, “Blood or not, you are our kin and they will enjoy every chance to get to know you better.”

“So, what do they look like then?”

Thanduil smirked replying, “Elrond has dark hair, blue eyes. His Twin Sons and Daughter have the same while Lady Celebrian has white hair and silvery blue eyes after her Father.”

You nodded, “Are their tails like ours?”

“Celeborn, Celebrian have beta tails, and two of Elrond’s Children have tails similar to their Mother’s in varying shades while Elrond and his Eldest Son have Seahorse tails.”

Your body froze and your eyes locked on his causing him to stare at you blankly until you repeated, “Seahorse tails?”

He nodded, “Yes.”

“So, so does that mean he carried the Children, or does it not work like that with Elves?”

Thranduil couldn’t help but smile guiding you through the next dance, “He carried them.”

“So, how does that work with two different kinds of, excuse the term, fish halves?”

He chuckled lowly and wet his lips, “Betta females tend to have difficult pregnancies so they pair with Seahorse males often. There’s a, liquid, the female lets out that is absorbed by the male in the opening above his-,”

“Penis?” Thranduil couldn’t help his smirk as he inhaled trying to reign in his reaction, “You can also say secretion, I am a scientist. The terms don’t frighten me.”

He nodded shallowly, “Then the males carry them and eventually birth them.”

“Is it strange?” His brows rose, “My asking about the makeup of everyone?”

He chuckled lowly as Legolas answered, “Nope. In fact we all love the chance to help you learn more about our kin.”

Thranduil added after spotting Thorin in the doorway, “I am certain even the Durins would be grateful to be your subjects as well.”

Thorin playfully rumbled nearing you, “Subjects?”

With a giggle you accepted Thorin’s hold for his claiming your third partner’s place in the dance, saying, “Lord Elrond has a Seahorse tail.”

Thorin couldn’t help but smile at your ecstatic growing smile, “I am certain he will be thrilled to help you learn about his line, just as Master Baggins and his have been.”

You nodded, “Everything go alright?”

Thorin nodded, “Yes, Adad called a formal announcement for Dis’ third pregnancy.” His smile grew, “And yes, I did ask if she would be willing to guide you through it to sate your curiosity on it. Plus, my Cousin Gloin and his Wife Gorgo are expecting in a matter of weeks. Once your stay here is done they have gladly invited you to the birth of their Son.”

In a nip at your lip your hands left his hands to rest on his shoulders to lift up claiming a kiss on his cheek making him chuckle before you turned to join Legolas in his turn while he said, “Thror must be thrilled, two new heirs and an incoming Granddaughter in law.”

Thorin nodded, “He is. Whole clan is. Amad is also taken to embroidering our cushions for our beds.”

Thranduil glanced at you both, “Your clan is enforcing the boundaries of halls between fiance’s?”

Thorin smirked, “No, My Nephews and Dwalin are insisting on having them after sharing Jaqi’s bed in our shifting days.”

…

On the other side of the large front gates you shook your tail fins to settle properly, your hand curled around Thorin’s elbow to steady yourself through it before your eyes rose to the opening gates. The tall dark haired Lord led the way with his deep green curled tail similar to his eldest Son’s while his Daughter and Son’s were long silver shimmering scales with pale green flowing fins wrapped around nearly their entire tails matching the same billowing tail on their Mother. Her’s however being a silver and Pink mixture taking after her Father’s Maroon and black tail with fins fanning out on either side of his tail with a frill down the back of his tail striped in red and black. Before any words could be said you wet your lips at Celbrian’s approach readying to think of something to say only to have her crash into your chest pulling you into a tight hug earning a nervous giggle from you.

Pt 6

[damnit-samnit]

Chapter 22 Preview

Here’s a preview for the chapter that will drop after the holiday chapters (so first week of Jan).

Hope you guys enjoy it.

---

Hospitals had a very distinct smell to them.

It was hard to describe -- a strange mixture of sterileness, flesh, dankness and cleanliness that settled not just in your nose but at the back of your tongue too, adding an unpleasant level of taste to it. The combination of notes was very specific to hospitals. An aroma not easily replicated and, strangely enough, wasn’t particularly permeating either. Once you left the building, the smell would be gone.

But boy was it memorable. If you were ever on a game show and needed to ‘Guess That Smell,’ it would easy to pick out the stench of hospital among those presented.

You didn’t want to be there.

The large elevator you were standing in was slowing its already snail-like pace, carefully settling itself flush against the third floor.

You were headed to the fifth.

Two medical personnel in well-worn green scrubs were chatting to one another as the elevator doors opened. Though they caught sight of you waiting inside, they didn’t cease their conversation on medication dosage or change the decibel of their voices as they entered. They just pretended you weren’t there, which suited you just fine.

You gripped the stuffed bear in your hands tighter, staring at the elevator buttons, drawing imaginary shapes and lines in the grid-like assembly. Part of you wanted to mash ‘door close’ but you refrained, afraid your new companions would think your impatience was a slight against them.

The newcomers hadn’t selected another floor.

You were all headed to the same place.

It was hard not to listen in on what your the elevator’s newest occupants were talking about. Laparoscopic cholecystectomy resulting in complications. Bile leakage. Fever of 39 Celsius. Suggestion? A handful of milligrams of some kind of multi-syllable medication that mentally made your tongue twist yet they said so effortlessly.

The elevator was crawling to a stop again. The fifth floor. When the doors eventually opened, the two hospital personnel burst out with quick, purposefully strides. A stark contrast to your meek, hesitating form. They knew where they were going.

You did not.

Arrows pointing to clusters of room numbers were fixed on the wall in peeling black stickers. You were looking for room 523, which was to the right.

So, that’s the direction you headed in.

As you walked, you peeked into the rooms you passed. Nurses tending to patients in beds, crisp blue privacy curtains drawn, family visits in progress...

But mostly, you saw loneliness. Boredom.

517… 519… 521…

The door to Room 523, you could see, was propped open.

You stopped just shy of it.

Anxiety.

Just do it. Just do it. Just do it.

It was a hospital visit you had been putting off.

But you couldn’t put it off any longer.

You stepped into the doorway, rapping lightly on the heavy wooden door, not quite crossing the threshold into the room. The mousey woman seated on the bed looked up, breaking out into a smile when she caught sight of you. Gently she called your name, gesturing with her head for you to enter.

“Hey Mikki,” you said, the ghost of a tired smile appearing on your face, worms still wriggling in your belly. What to say? What to say? “How you feelin’?”

It was a dumb question and immediately you thought about using your quirk for a possible redo, but Mikki was giving you a one-shoulder shrug.

“Hanging in there,” she said with a smile still affixed to her face. “I’m glad you came! It’s been so slow today!”

You nodded as you tried not to look at the arm settled limply in her lap. She wasn’t a fool, she could obviously see and feel your uncomfortableness.

“Why don’t you pull up a chair?” she suggested, pointing at the empty seat in the corner. “My husband went to go pick up the kids from school, so he won’t be back until after dinner.”

“Yeah, sure… Oh! Here, I, uh, got you this…”

You held the stuffed bear out to her before faltering, afraid that maybe having her hold something wasn’t the best decision, but Mikki was already reaching out for it with her good hand.

“Thank you,” she said brightly, taking the creature and settling it on the bed beside her. “It’s cute. I love him.”

After dragging the chair to her bedside, you fell into an awkward lull, unsure where to start. Maybe ask her how she was? How her kids were? How her husband was? What was it like to have a wonky arm? Drag her into a conversation about yourself? You didn’t want to immediately start talking about your issues as she was obviously the one going through major trauma but damn if you didn’t have a lot you wanted to get off your chest. You weren’t sure you even should address the feelings that had been plaguing you since Odaiba Research’s destruction.

It wasn’t that you weren’t close with Mikki but it was a work friendship. She was your co-worker. Your relationship was not like one you had with your real friends -- they had been a choice, she hadn’t been. There was an obvious wall there -- a general niceness that wasn’t so much forced as it was required, as she was someone you had to work with.

It was just lucky that you did genuinely like her.

Kids seemed like a safe topic, so you cleared your throat, prepared to ask about them when she beat you to the punch.

“I want to thank you,” Mikki said after a quiet inhale. “For saving me.”

That was the last thing you wanted to hear.

It was like an arrow straight into the whirling eye of contempt you had for yourself.

Your shoulders slumped, distressed creases forming on your forehead. Everything in you was untying all at once and you just wanted her to take what she just said back.

“Mikki…” you voice sounded strangled and you swallowed but that squeeze of emotion hadn’t released its grip on your throat. “Please…”

“If you hadn’t been there, I would have died.”

“Mikki…” Don’t admit it. Don’t admit it. “Please don’t thank me. You don’t understand, I don’t deserve--”

“Stop it. You know--”

Don’t admit it. Don’t admit it. Don’t admit it.

“I wanted to leave you,” you blurted out in a great rush, the need to get the truth off your chest too great to ignore. She looked taken aback by your outburst. “Don’t think I was some real hero. Please. I was looking for a way out the entire time. I wanted to leave you, Mikki.”

Quiet filled the room again. You could hear voices in the hallway perfectly. Nurses talking about what they had for dinner.

It would be a short visit, wouldn’t it?

That truth had been the reason you had avoided visiting her ever since her injury. You were ashamed that you had taken on the title of hero when, in truth, you were very far from it. Instead of owning up to your failings as a human being, you kept quiet.

Sure, you weren’t boasting about the misappropriated praise -- in fact, every meeting and photo op made your stomach churn. Still, you didn’t fess up to the truth. You kept silent.

You were guilty of being a coward.

“But you didn’t,” she murmured. You paused before lifting heavy hands, showing her your palms, still very much defeated.

“Only because I was afraid of the guilt.”

“You didn’t,” she repeated with more force. “You didn’t leave.”

“I--”

“You stayed. You could have just ignored me but you didn’t. You stayed and when I--” she cleared her throat. “When I was… crushed. You… saved me. You brought me back.”

And then she was crying, great globs spilling from bright brown eyes. Your throat went even tighter and you felt yourself inch toward the brink of tears as well.

“I died,” she said, her crying turning into sobs. You were getting more and more distressed, your empathy on overdrive for once. “But you saved me. You could have left but you didn’t and you saved me. I still have my family.”

What could you say? Nothing seemed… worthy of saying at the moment.

So you sat quietly, staring at your hands, waiting until Mikki settled down into body-rocking sniffles.

“I don’t want to be labeled a hero,” you mumbled, picking at your cuticles. “That’s the last thing I want.”

“You’re a hero to me.”

“Please don’t tell me that. Please.”

You weren’t a hero. You were far from it, actually. You knew your true heart but the world at large didn’t. They just thought you were a citizen-turned-do-gooder, someone who risked their life to partake in a selfless act in a moment of crisis.

Not someone who gave villains the tools they needed to cause chaos. Not someone who inadvertently gave bad guys the means to hurt, maim and take lives. To rob and destroy.

For money.

Not someone who had been sleeping with All Might for months.

Had been.

“So it’s official that you’re leaving, then?” you said, forcing the conversation in a new direction. Mikki wiped her nose on the front of her hospital gown before nodding.

She had been in the hospital for weeks and you hadn’t worked up the courage to face her. Or steeled your stomach enough to pretend you were the hero the big-wigs had been making you out to be. When she finally got access to her cell phone, you had sent a few polite messages to each other -- you always doubling-down on the promise that you were going to visit soon.

In the last real message she sent you, she revealed she was being discharged.

And would promptly be relocating to Denmark.

That had been the push you needed to commit to your first, and what would probably be only, visit.

Mikki nodded, a large sigh expanding her chest.

“There’s a doctor there who has a quirk that might let me use my arm again. But the waitlist to see her is quite long. My husband was able to get a transfer to his company office there and has been working on getting our visas together.”

“How long will you be there?”

“I don’t know.”

You nodded, shifting your jaw, realizing this was already morphing into a possible goodbye conversation. Sheepishly you looked up to her arm, eyes darting away when you saw your glance had been noticed by her. She gave you a lopsided smile that didn’t quite match her usual matronly appearance.

“They were able to bring in a specialist with a bone and tissue regeneration quirk,” she said, looking down at her unmoving limb. “But they couldn’t fix the nerve damage. They said the doctor in Denmark might be able to but the more time that passes, the lower the odds become. That’s why we’re on a bit of a time crunch leaving.”

“Can you feel anything?” you asked, compelled by morbid curiosity. She shook her head.

“No. I can’t move it and I can’t feel anything there. It’s strange, I sometimes think I can still feel it. I usually wear it in a sling but…” she trailed off. “For now, it looks like my costume designing days are over.”

“Mikki--” you said, brows furrowing.

“Who knows, maybe not for good. But it’s hard to sew with one hand. And sketch. We’ll see what the future holds. People can do amazing things when given tough circumstances.”

It was such a mom thing to say. Despite the levity of the discussion, you found yourself grinning at the floor.

“I’m gonna miss you, Mikki,” you said, momentarily squeezing your eyes closed. “I really am. You were the best thing to come out of my time at Odaiba. I’m glad to have met you.”

“Don’t act like we’re never going to see each other again, kiddo!” she said face lighting up that the mood of the room was shifting. “You’ll see. I’ll bet my good arm I’ll be back here in two years time, maybe three!”

“Once you get all patched up, open up your own business and let me come work for you.”

“Deal,” she said with enough conviction that something airy bloomed in your chest. “Have you gotten a temporary work assignment yet? Some of the others have been emailing me. Looks like everyone on our team is getting split up.”

The airy feeling was gone already.

“Yeah,” you groaned, body growing heavy. “I’m being assigned to assist on the Endeavor Agency team with Doctor Kravitz as an assistant. I start in a week, I think. The first day I’m due in at 5 a.m.”

“Very prestigious,” Mikki commented. You shrugged, playing with the cuffs of your hooded sweater and she narrowed her eyes slightly. “Something is bothering you.”

“I’m just tired,” you said almost immediately, so used to using the excuse that it was second-nature to default to it. “It’s been… a trying couple of weeks.”

It was a gross understatement but you weren’t about to delve into the deep fissures that had cracked and ruined your heart. You didn’t have that type of relationship with her and, frankly, you didn’t want to talk about it.

Some people had the ability to cry and share their feelings with others.

It wasn’t so easy for you.

“You can tell me,” she said so soothingly, having caught the shadow of an expression on your face. You cracked a smile, blinking rapidly as you looked at the grating, cheap blankets on her hospital bed.

No, you would never talk about All Might to her.

There was, however, something else you could admit to her. A kernel of a thought that had appeared in your mind and had grown larger and more encompassing at each passing second. Hell, you were a failure already. A ‘nobody’ as a certain someone so eloquently barked at you.

Why not prove them right again?

Why not fail, again?

That was the one constant about you.

“I think…” you inhaled loudly before clearing your throat, finally meeting her eyes. “I think I’m gonna quit.” You paused before shaking your head. “Actually… no, this is not an ‘I think’ -- I am gonna quit the lab. Officially. I can’t do it, Mikki. I can’t. I’m just… I’m not cut out for it.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

(Thought I Couldn't Top It, Huh? OVER 2000 Questions! (Truly the Longest!) Created by distortedcognition Part 17 How... Are you? Mehhh. Are you doing? Isn’t that asking the same thing? Have you been? .... Do you wish you were? I wish I were doing and feeling better. Do you want to die? No. Many years can a mountain exist? Forever. Many planets are there? Innumerable. Many numbers are there? Numerous. Small can things get? Very. Big can things get? Extremely. Will the future turn out for you? Do you have an idea? I can’t predict the future, but I’m not feeling very optimistic.

How will the future turn out for me? How should I know? Many ways can the world end? i believe it will end how the Bible says it will. Many sports are there? A lot. Many colors are in the rainbow? 7. Do you do? I don’t do. What do you think is evil? Murderers, rapists, abusers, cold-blooded heartless people. Shampoo. Foamy cleanser for your hair. Conditioner. Cleanses and moisturizes your hair. Anime. Japanese animation. Walls. Barrier. Ceilings. Covers the top of a room. Fans. Circulate air to help keep you cool. Ceiling fans. Fans that hang from the ceiling. Donald Duck. A cartoon character that is a duck. Lie detectors. They work by your heart rate. Smoke detectors. They alert you of fire. Pedometers. It tracks your steps. Death. I believe in heaven and hell. The Grim Reaper. The story goes that he’s the dude that takes you when it’s your time to die. Christmas. Christmas is a holiday. It celebrates the birth of Jesus, but for a lot of people it’s a commercial/Hallmark holiday and enjoy just getting gifts. God. He’s the Creator of all things and the One in charge. Satan. He’s the evil one.  Jesus. He’s the Lord and Savior. Satin. It’s made from silk worms. Pepsi. A carbonated beverage. Electricity. Gives power. The Internet. You use it to do things, like research and communication. Mashed potatoes. Smashed potatoes. Orange juice. Squeezed juice from oranges. My computer. The hardware. Haappii Bouanmey What. Veeahhckomee Huh. Gaston. The arrogant, narcisstic ass from Beauty and the Beast? The world. That’s very complex. The universe. Even more so. Spinach. It’s grown and eaten raw or cooked in a variety of dishes. Celery. A veggie usually paired with ranch or peanut butter. Escargot. Cooked snails that some people eat. Pizza Hut. It’s a pizza chain that makes and delivers pizza and other stuff. Disney nowadays. Uhhh I don’t know what you’re asking exactly. Disney does a lot of things. Wal-Mart. It’s a store chain that sells a variety of items from food to toiletries to gardening stuff to outdoor stuff. Stores in general. Stores are places that sell things. Fish. They live in the water. Birds. They fly. Anteaters. They eat ants. Whole milk. A beverage from a cow. Skittles. It’s a fruity candy that comes in various colors. PLAGIARISTS. They steal other people’s work. Cupcakes. They’re baked and frosted and eaten. Very delicious. MTV. A TV channel that used to play music, but became a reality TV show channel. Television. A device that airs TV shows and yo can also use it to watch streaming services or connect to gaming consoles. VH1. Another TV channel that was about the music, but then started airing reality TV. Comedy Central. A TV channel that airs comedy shows. MAD TV. It was a variety sketch show. Comedy in general. Meant to bring entertainent and make people laugh. Jessica Simpson. A singer who was popular in the early to mid 2000s. People often associate her with the comment she made about tuna being chicken. Laughter. A reaction to somethig funny. Infections. Makes you sick and requires antibiotics or serious medical attention.  Viruses. Something infectious like an illness or one that negatively effects your computer or other technological device. Doors. A barrier, an entrance and exit to a room or place.

Windows. Made of glass that allows you look out or in.

Mirrors. A reflective surface made of glass.

Santa Claus. A jolly ol’ dude in a red suit who delivers presents on Christmas.

The Easter Bunny. A bunny that brings and hides eggs to find with candy and/or money inside.

Tooth fairy. A fairy that brings money to kids when they lose a tooth.

The Black Plague. A deadly infection.

Black cats. They’re cats that are black.

Ladders. Helps you reach high places

Vampires. They live off blood.

Werewolves. Human that turns into a wolf at night.

Gremlins. A mischievous folkloric creature.

Leprechauns. A mischievous elf that likes pots of gold.

Goblins. A mischievous, ugly fairy.

Gollums. That character from Lord of the Rings

Orcs. Another character from Lord of the Rings.

Mr. Skinnyhands. I don’t know.

Mortimer Mouse. Mickey Mouse’s arrogant rival.

Fruitsbasket. Isn’t that an anime?

Naraku. Another anime, I think.

Herbal Essences. It’s a shampoo that smells really good.

Head and Shoulders. A shampoo that helps with dandruff.

Biolage. A type of hairstyle.

Cheap shampoo. Uhh.

Cheap cologne.

Boxed hair dye. Store bought hair dye so you can dye your hair yourself. Gotta be careful with those.

The number 16. Is a number between 15 and 17.

The number 7. A number between 6 and 8.

24 + 2/3.5.

3.141592654. Pie.

Sundays. Weekend, 7th day of the week, day after Saturday and before Monday.

Tuesdays. Day after Monday and before Wednesday, 2nd day of the week.

Thursdays. 4th day of the week after Wednesday and before Friday.

Lights. Takes away the darkness and allows you to see better.

The darkness. Without light and difficult to see.

Roxie Hart. Who?

Shirts with words on them. They’re shirts that have words on them.

Mean shirts. How are shirts mean?

Stupid shirts. Are stupid.

Speedos. Swimwear. 

[cloudbattrolls]

I Can Take My Mind (I’m Fine)

It started with her cheating at cards. Harmless games of go fish on the spaceship - they’d lost several hands in a row, confused at cards that seemed to reappear and disappear without warning before they’d caught on.

Cards were hardly important. Nor were the post it note pranks given away by her mocking laughter, or the plant debris stuck in their horns or hair. They’d merely been annoyed at the damage done to their own clothes she’d made them draw on or tear at, nor had they cared when they had been made to water and prune her plants.

Then she had begun taking things - or making the drinker give them to her, whichever. Some snail food. Earrings. Tea packets.

On the third night in space their moon charm necklace vanished. The one that matched Uunive’s.

Tuuya could have told Karina. The teal wouldn’t have stood for it; not after how she’d talked about the limeblood before, seeing her as some sort of softening influence.

That would betray far more than they wanted either woman to know.

So they’d said nothing, and let Gliese continue using her psi as she willed. She’d give it back eventually; it was likely just another stupid prank.

They could ignore the itch of their fingers to tear at her thin neck. They could set aside the desire to drink her - she was hardly appetizing, all skinny frame and lean muscle. She’d undoubtedly struggle and scream and choke on her own blood if they even managed it, since she could bend them to her will.

Practicality came first.

After the necklace theft, she began to make them fetch things for her, to say things she thought would be funny coming from their mouth - the hare troll laughed and laughed, even as Karina’s mouth thinned, but the teal made no comment.

She’d looked at the drinker, searching for any sign of anger or discomfort, and Tuuya ensured she found nothing in their face or their eyes, nor any tenseness in their body. It was easy to make their worms go slack, smoothing their features to utter blankness.

Gliese would get bored eventually. It was a waiting game, and they were far older and more patient than she.

Then they’d come to as nothing but a head and torso, limbs and body broken and scattered. Hardly the first time.

Pulling themself back together was the crux of their sparring matches with Claire. If the blueblood thought this would rattle them, she was an idiot.

An idiot who began to look yet more appetizing, even if she’d hardly be much of a meal. At least she’d be out of their way.

They had pulled their right arm back on, the worms twining back together (Benral had shoved it in a hallway vent of all things) when they turned and saw her with a lighter. 

Their ears pressed back out of reflex, but they forced them to lie neutral. She wouldn’t. They hadn’t done anything wrong.

Firebird’s laughter seemed to echo in their ears, the stench of their burning worms surrounding them as it had when she’d incinerated half their body.

“Are you deaf? I just asked you how long it takes to regrow a limb.” Said the woman impatiently, apparently having already asked. “I want to see if I can make it go faster.”

“Of course you can’t.” They replied irritably. “I need extra blood for that. Unless you want to volunteer.”

The Lepus troll stuck out her tongue.

“Nah, not really into letting dead stuff touch me. Who knows where your fangs have been.”

“I wash them after every time I drink, thank you very much.”

“Still gross.”

“Would you like to dispense more obvious information? Please, tell me about the water cycle or how fire is - ”

They trailed off, still eyeing the lighter. The cerulean grinned.

“Aw, I won’t really use it on you.” She said casually, then took something out of her sylladex. “This necklace, though...what’s so special about it? You had it in a locked box and everything. Can’t be for a quad. What if I - “

Before she could finish another breath they were at her throat, gripping her body with one hand while holding her neck with another -

- they were back several feet, walking away -

- running at her again, letting worms out -

- worms writhed on her feet -

- her legs -

- her face was covered, and their awareness stops coming in flashes. She could just breathe through the smallest gap in the writhing white creatures swathing her face and arms. A single move or flick of her psi, and they’d start to chew her apart.

While moving more slowly from how many worms they let out, the drinker walked leisurely down the small ship’s hall as if they hadn’t a care in the world.

They let the worms over her eyes pull back so she could see, glowing orange eyes drilling into them, as they plucked both necklace and lighter from her hands.

“If you ever think to damage this necklace again, I will kill you.” They say softly. “From the inside out, every drop of blood drained bit by slowest bit.”

They put the objects away, beginning to bring the parasites back into their body.

“Anyone can feed the worms, miss Benral. So play with your toys a bit more gently.”

Gliese stared at the drinker, their long fangs bared at her in a predator’s grin, a sheen of sweat on her narrow face now that the parasites retreated.

Then she laughed.

The worm monster frowned in confusion.

“Oooh, I’m Tuuya and I think I’m suuuper scary, look at me, I’m gonna threaten to eat someone I made tea for and played pranks on our boss with.”

“Excuse me - ”

She struck a pose, hand on her chest.

“I’m basically a fogey old matron made of things you find in compost, so I’m literally older than dirt and twice as dumb, but you should totally believe I’m gonna eat you.”

“I have eaten people - ”

“Whoops, can’t hear you over the sound of your own bullshi - ”

“Enough!”

The drinker hisses, and the blueblood goes still.

“You can mock me, Benral, but I will let Karina know you’ve become a bit too free with your powers.”

Gliese sneered as she backed up a few feet, arms now crossed tightly around her body.

“Yeah, and what do you think that’ll do? Think she cares? Not like there’s other undead for me to use them on, except that one you turned.”

The worm monster’s voice became a dangerous purr.

“I don’t think she’d like it very much if you damaged my mind. Or if you dug a little too far and happened to strain yours again...accidents do happen.”

The hare troll scoffed, her ears pinned almost as tightly as the undead’s were when faced with flame.

“Like I would. I know when to stop. You think you can win a mental shoving contest with me? I was trained by Fleet. Fucking bring it if you think you’re so tough.”

“Ah yes, your stint with the empire.” Said the drinker softly, tapping their claws softly against their chin. “You burned yourself out just to avoid serving them. Enticed scores of revenants into your gasoline flames, and a little of that fire stayed in your very eyes. Who’s to say you couldn’t push yourself too far again? Perhaps your mind just wouldn’t ever come back.”

The young woman stared the older jade down, then snorted.

“You could just ask me to stop instead of being so damn melodramatic.”

The drinker went rigid, their eyes turning to slits.

“Oh? If you’re content to stop, why do you need me to ask? Do you want me to beg you?” The older troll couldn’t help but snarl slightly on the last two words.

“Ew, no. I just want you to talk to me like a person. I know someone a little - really little - bit like you. He used to never speak up for himself unless I pushed him really hard, and then he got better at it. I wondered what it’d take for you - you’re way less sensitive, but I figured if you did have troll feelings, you’d pipe up eventually.”

“I am not your social experiment.” retorted the drinker in a hard voice. “I am here for you to use - within certain boundaries. Whatever I feel or not is none of your business.”

“I’m in your head, dipshit. It is my business. I’m no mind reader, but I’m connected. Why can’t you just admit you’re uncomfortable?”

Tuuya turned around, tapping their foot rapidly against the floor. 

“I am a parasitic undead, miss Benral, we don’t get uncomfortable. We simply get annoyed at obnoxious children who push too hard.”

“Yeaaaaah, I’m sure that’s it and it’s totally not that you feel icky.” 

They felt the cerulean’s grin, even as they made themself keep looking away from her face and throat.

“What do you want?” They replied quietly, knowing she could hear as they stared at the ship’s silver walls. “Satisfaction about being right? It’s all a game to you, isn’t it. Something to win. But even you cannot demand answers from me, unless you want to force your way into my inner thoughts. And if that’s so...by all means.”

A heavy silence filled the space between the parasitic creature and the woman, weighing them both down with expectation and dread.

“No.” she said at last, sounding resigned. “No, I won’t. I’m...fuck, I’m sorry, okay?”

“You owe me no apology, miss Benral. I cannot be hurt. Only irritated.”

After another pause, they felt confident enough in their restraint again to turn back around. 

Her long ears were pinned back, anguish and confusion warring for dominance on her face.

“...that’s not true.”

The drinker managed a light laugh, if one that sounded stiffer than plywood.

“Of course it’s true. You suspected it, and now you know I only get angry. I don’t have the emotional range of a real troll.”

Gliese bit her lip.

“I can feel bits of your thoughts, dumbass. That Claire chick turns up a lot, so does someone named Oo-knife or whatever. I even get bits about me. Course, I tend to get distracted by the worms that want to make my brain explode so they can eat me, but whatever. I know you’re lying.”

“And if I were,” they said blithely. “It really doesn’t matter, because as you just pointed out, I’m made of blood drinking parasites. Did you get the bits where I wonder what ripping your throat out would be like, Benral?”

“I get the bits where you hate yourself for thinking that.”

“Hate’s such a strong word.”

She snorted.

“You still don’t want to. Yeah, I know you tell yourself it’s because Karina would kill you and maybe it is a little bit, but we both know damn well you could eat her too if you put your mind to it. You’ve thought about it enough.” She stated, very matter-of-fact.

They gave her a curious look. Perhaps as a blueblood, she simply didn’t care about their monstrous nature. She wasn’t too different, in some ways.

“I mean, she’s a pain, I get it. We wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her stupid ancestor.”

“You were quite happy to blame me when the attack happened.”

The young woman shrugged her thin shoulders, ears flicking.

“Eh, I was pissed. And it is kinda your fault. But more hers, and that medic chick’s. Fucker just won’t quit.”

At least she was off the topic of their feelings now. Why did people even care? Was it some sort of morbid curiosity exercise, prodding a bunch of parasites for how well they resembled their shell?

It didn’t matter if they had feelings or not - all that mattered was the safety of others, enforcing their restraint. Not that they were doing a stellar job on that front, but they hadn’t been kidding about the necklace.

Uunive would eventually decide she didn’t want to talk to them, and that and their photographs would be all they have left of her. Which is how it always should have been...but it was hard to stop wanting to be around her. Nothing had ever been more difficult, so they just...didn’t. Resisting blood was easy compared to staying away from their daughter.

They’d thought they could do it after she went off to the cavern. But given another chance in the server...the drinker had crumbled.

An unhealthy practice, for them and for her. A glaring weakness; look how it made them act toward Gliese.

They didn’t notice the blueblood prodding them with her cane until it was clear she’d been doing it for at least a minute.

“Hey, idiot, Karina says get ready to fight some pirates.”

“Right after I put myself back together? The things I do for you people.”

“Tell it to QPIN. We need this if we want any chance of my plan working.”

Ah yes. Ullane. The drinker put their body armor on, readying their guns and other weapons.

After this bout of nonsense was done, it was time they and the good doctor had a talk.

[defendthecake]

A large collection of concept art for Defend the Cake,

http://defendthecake.com/

game available on steam, itch.io and gamejolt.

Above is the promotional artwork for the Ant Queen. This post is all the concept art and 2d art for Defend the Cake that I could track down which @Drachis had a hand in creating. It is a collection of sketches, watercolor drawings and rough animations of ideas that came up during the production.

This is an idea of the carrot launcher transforming into a robot piloted by an eggbird.

The strawberry shortcake slice was one of the alpha walls we had in game

Picking colors for the frosting upgrades involved some glacial ice reference and non local colors.

These are the breakouts of the 3/4 ant queen perspectives for animation to help simplify from the promo art and ensure the important details came through.

This was a wine opening carrot launcher combo idea, where the spiral screw was used to harvest the carrots.

This animation rough sold us on the idea of the look and feel for the rocket snails.

The coconut palm was a potential rolling pin alternative, we deemed it too much plant and not enough kitchen-punk for the game

Spiiiice worm, with a little cleanup this ended up in game

Howe do eggbirds repair a cake we asked? With staples and tape, just kinda... putting the pieces back where ever. Not the smartest of biurbs.

A rough fat grasshopper animation on paper because Drachis left his computer behind one day.

Some of the early concepts for beetles, segways ants and bees, with a little glimpse at the death animation for ants in the top right.

This is a quick animation of how the carrot launcher that is in game could activate, we started in this direction on the model but didn’t get it completed.

One of the alternative ideas for the watermelon was this seed launcher, which spit an arc of watermelon seeds out.

This is the rough animation for the carrot launcher, we used it in game for a short while in alpha to help with prototyping.

A quick guide on how to make a nine-slice texture paired with ideatiaon on how to build blocks of walls.

One of the early potential strawberry shooter upgrades

Before there were flowers and leaves in the areas outside. the play space there was talk of filling it with brambles. They ended up looking too busy when used in game.

Strawberry tower rough animation, was top down to allow for simple 2d rotation.

Early strawberry shooter idea, too much seed, not enough gear.

The snail iteration that really hit their personality, thanks to @war-anth for encouragement to push it farther.

One early watermelon prototype, a trying pan... we decided it might evoke fried eggs in the player’s mind which wasn’t the goal.

The rough Defend the Cake Logo

One of the animation roughs for the watermelon tower.

“I’m still rather fond of this design, it does something really different and reads very well” - @drachis

Logo exploration for Defend the Cake, this was too much Defend and not enough Cake

When the watermelon slingshot was a cannon.

Exploration of the play space and cake designs, asking “how do we show the grid without always having to put a grid up?“ and “does the cake live on the grass or a tray?“

Watermelon slingshot animation rough, this was used in game during alpha.

Cupcake ideas, how much cute and what elements are most important. The proportion of the design on the left helped inspire the cupcake in game today.

This delicious Strawberry Volcano Brick Toast inspired the walls that you see in Defend the Cake. We tried a couple other baked goods but they didn’t quite hit that same same visual weight.It was sooo good, such delicious research.

Tried out the idea of wall-nut toast, it looked a bit too tiled in game and didn’t evoke that ‘put a thing on me’ feeling

A wee baby cupcake with a frosting beret, it was cute but those cheeks sorta make me die inside.

What if waffle wall? waffled on this idea and it fell out of favor.

Eggbird personality rough sketches, that smirking on in the top center was a big hit and that frame lives on in the game.

Cleaver rough, exploration of the cleaver shape and how it would look on toast.

toast. Toast. TOAST! This was a super satisfying animation that sold the idea of toast popping out of the ground.

Some exploration of what if the eggbirds were more like the babies from angry birds, didn’t quite stick.

Eggbird icon for the UI

Exploring how eggbirds look when we push it some, maybe giant eye highlights.

Making cheesy puns, this bone and cheese knife was the basic idea for the cheese cleaver in game

early cheese cleaver idea, exploration of shapes

The alpha watermark, stuck around until mid beta

A grasshopper all hopped up on 40k ideas ready to get cake for the Empara , er I mean Queen.

bee drone just wants you to remember to....

Building a backronym for the TROJAN EGG, and exploring how the rolling pin might pop out.

Rough ideas for the carrot animation and launcher.

color exploration for the watercolor launcher, banditapple notebooke and windsor and newton mini watercolor set.

Ant queen chair back at the animator’s request, this wasn’t designed until that request came in.

Exploration of the walls, what if they were a fruit tart?

A bread study, to try and figure out what even is bread.

Looking at tart shells and exploring the idea of walls.

Early website promo art sketch, sleeping eggbird getting ready to make a cake.

Toasty explorations, what shapes? Maybe pancakes?

Trying out the idea of braided bread to help give the bread a rather different look.

exploring more braided bread weave patterns

Pushing the eggbirds far past where I initially felt comfortable, what should the carton look like?

Exploring eyes and emotions for eggbirds.

What even is an eggbird, can I draw it in one line?

“Eggbirds always wear a hat” - Namtopia , here are eggbirds with tall chef’s hats.

strawberry shooter particle exploration, this looked too much like blood and was rejected.

happy little cake with raspberries, crayola watercolors

how do the ants die? rough idea of their souls making sad hungry faces and wafting away.

spiral shell rocket snail, when the snail was more jet engine than snail.

rocket snail with goggles, gotta go fast, so fast you hover.

trying to get that moar snailery life going.

Some rough colors on the rocket snail to solidify that pure horror

UI ideas, all the ingredients and recipes on a giant cutting board.

tower sketches , thinking about the rolling pin and how does it roll out dough and what that looks like.

beetle and ants, proportions didn’t quite work at game scale.

Watermelon launcher concept.

mail-egg for the newsletter, animated him walking as a promo for game before alpha during the search for more newsletter signups.

Tried out an idea where the cake was always screaming through the hole in the A.... didn’t go through for reasons.

The logo in full sketch and watercolor form.

This cupcake didn’t make it into the game, the chocolate eyes and overcooked body didn’t quite have the right appeal.

I’m hiding and sad says this cupcake, defend me.

You got this!

Eggbird and cake slice exploration, can they get tired and flop over? I think so.

Cleaver design, really close to final.

the eggbirds go on cooldown, how should that look?

Winter egg promo, standing on an icingy piece of cake

What if the alpha logo was an egg on a runaway eggbeater? too dark I guess.

More alpha logo exploration, some notes from working at a yoga studio.

The logo for Alpha, used as a watermark

beedrone sketch, determined to bee a little too much drone in the face and bee fur is a little creepy.

playing with grasshopper proportions

trying to get the grasshopper to be realistic and super squishable.

Crab apple, crab apple, better than glad apple. Exploring the shapes and progression of the crab apple.

Cake booth sketch for Otakon. It ended up fairly close to this.

Some alternative cake booth ideas.

Looking at plants and zombies towers and thinking about an eggbird cannon.

Exploring the cheese knife hole patterns

trying to figure out the eggbird integration with the cheese knife.

happy birthday egg, for the cake team and company anniversary

happy little watermelon, ready to fly

giddy watermelon just loves their aerial future.

scared cake as a potential logo.

rocket snail as a pod racer, rocket snail with a jet engine on its shoulder.

snail riding a jet engine, snail with an actual rocket.

At which point I determined that maybe there was an optimal engine to snail ratio.

Thinking about stacks of bread.

For a while wheat was delivered each day by a bread cart, we nixed the idea because for an animation you saw every day it just wasn’t cool enough.

Reasons I can never own a house as a millennial, all the eggs might be secretly avocados painted white.

exploring eye and feet shapes for the eggbirds.

fiddling with eggbird gesture.

happy egg bird gestures.

exploring which eggbird faces are the best,

tried putting faces on all the towers, it kinda worked but pushed the game a little too close to PvZ.

Exploring what ants look like and how dough should roll out.

I am an eggbird short and stout.

Watermelon baller, did a good job breaking visual tradition with other watermelon towers. A bit harder to understand it’s damage and function.

[themelbournetone]

Top 10 Albums of the 2010s [Countdown]

Written by: Ziggy Cross

The world has changed a lot in the last ten years, but luckily for us, music still exists. Without further ado, here’s the 10 best albums that were the soundtrack to our decade:

2010 - THIS IS HAPPENING, LCD SOUNDSYSTEM

This Is Happening is the third and “final” album by New York dance band LCD Soundsystem, released before their 2011 split (ending with the legendary 4-hour Madison Square Garden farewell show).

Following up their sophomore LP, Sound Of Silver, was always going to be a huge task, and This Is Happening holds up well, while also having an insanely ink-able title. It isn’t the group’s best album, it’s sure as hell a good way to start off the decade.

Highlights include the albums opener Dance Yrself Clean, I Can Change, and All I Want (which might sound strangely familiar to fans of David Bowie, who was a friend of LCD’s frontman James Murphy).

Notable mentions: Tourist History - Two Door Cinema Club, The Suburbs - Arcade Fire

2011 - THE ENGLISH RIVIERA, METRONOMY

The English Riviera is the third album from English indie pop band Metronomy. This is their most commercially successful album to date, including notable singles The Bay, and The Look. Most of this album was made solo by founder and producer Joseph Mount, with occasional assistance from the band members who have joined him along the way.

The album strongly rewards repeat listens, with tracks that might seem bizarre at first becoming certified bops after enough plays. The whole album is filled with some outrageous sounds from an extensive library of hardware synths. On the track Some Written, Mount brings out profound kazoo talent, as well as some impressive clarinet use in the following track, Love Underlined.

2011 was a huge year of development for the indie pop genre, with more bands embracing an electronic sound. It would seem that all the stars aligned for this release, and put them on the map. Metronomy is a band who have built a reputation for pushing limits, while managing to stay approachable enough for a wide appeal. They’ve got some pretty weird tracks if you’re willing to test the waters, but The English Riviera is without a doubt the best place to start.

Notable mentions: Torches - Foster The People, This Modern Glitch - The Wombats

2012 - BLOOM, BEACH HOUSE

Bloom is the fourth album from Baltimore dream pop band Beach House, and is their highest charting album to date. The album is packed with luscious synth and melancholy soaked guitar, reverberating in every direction far and wide. 

The track list is impressively solid, and while a lot of tracks may appear quite “same-y” at first listen, they are nuanced enough to allow for some great repeat listening. You always know what to expect when you’re listening to Beach House, and they never fail to please.

Bloom is filled with some incredibly memorable tracks, and some highlights include: lead single Myth, with its incredibly powerful guitar build and grounding synth line, Lazuli, with its catchy vocal stacking and driving synth arpeggio, and New Years, with it’s ear worm of vocal melody that will stay in your mind for all of eternity.

Beach House have established their own brand of melancholy, and Bloom is probably their best showcase of that. Along with many of the other great releases from 2012, this one is for those whose hearts play in a minor key.

Notable mentions: Dark Eyes - Half Moon Run, Bored Nothing - Bored Nothing

2013 - TROUBLE WILL FIND ME, THE NATIONAL

After the wild success of The National’s 2010 album High Violet, I’m sure many fans wondered what the band would do next. Trouble Will Find Me features wall-to-wall lyrical and instrumentational masterpieces. This is a *seriously* solid album.

The album has a great mix of ‘great-the-first-time’rs, and plenty of ‘this-will-hit-hard-on-listen-twenty’s too. Believe me when I say, every listen of this album will  leave you with a different ‘favourite song’.

Standout tracks include: I Need My Girl, a love song written by Berninger about missing his wife and daughter who stayed at home while he was on the road, and Don’t Swallow The Cap, a medium tempo alt-rock doomer anthem with the same understated power of LCD’s All My Friends.

Trouble Will Find Me also serves as a perfect warm up for the bands latest (2019) release I Am Easy To Find, if you’re that kind of fan. But I mean come on... even the titles match!

Notable mentions: The Bones Of What You Believe - CHVRCHES, Overgrown - James Blake

2014 - ABOUT FACE, #1 DADS

About Face is a special kind of album. Melbournite and all round musical genius Tom Iansek (also of Big Scary and No Mono) never fails to release pure magic into this world. His work truly is the hidden gem of Melbourne’s music scene - and those who have found it could not cherish it more.

Behind it’s quiet front, About Face holds the emotional force of a B-52 fighter jet. The production and gentle instrumentation will move you with force, there isn’t a single unremarkable track.

It should also be noted how impressive the lineup of collaborators on this album is; Tom Snowden, Ainslie Wills, Airling, AND that incredible saxophonist on Camberwell (you know what I’m talking about 😉).

It’s should come as no surprise that this album was nominated for an Australian Music Prize. While it did lose to REMI’s Raw X Infinity, at least we can have some comfort in knowing that Tom did win the prize the year before, for the wonderful Big Scary album, Not Art.

Notable mentions: There There - Washington, The Dew Lasts An Hour - Ballet School

2015 - CARRIE & LOWELL, SUFJAN STEVENS

“I don’t know where to begin...” where do you even start with an album like Carrie & Lowell!? How do you follow up an album that ended with one of the most powerful 25+ minute epics ever made? (I’m talking about Impossible Soul, if you haven’t heard it in full, drop everything and listen now - and if you have heard it, enjoy this shorter Car Seat Headrest cover)

Upon it’s release, Carrie & Lowell was hugely successful with critics, and was often cited as Sufjan’s best work yet. This album is quiet, I can’t count the number of times I've fallen asleep to this album on the train home from the city.

Despite it’s soft production, this album hits hard with it’s lyrics, something Sufjan now has now had over 20 years experience perfecting. Standouts include Should Have Known Better, Blue Bucket of Gold, and Fourth of July (see Sufjan leading a festival chant of ‘we’re all gonna die’ with the power of 10,000 suns here).

This album holds a warm place in many listeners hearts, and is well deserving of 2015′s top spot.

Notable mentions: Pretend You’re Mine - Pearls, The Things We Do To Find People Who Feel Like Us - Beach Slang

2016 - 22, A MILLION, BON IVER

Notable mentions: Not To Disappear - Daughter, Light Upon The Lake - Whitney

2017 - GO FARTHER IN LIGTHNESS, GANG OF YOUTHS

Standouts include slow burner Do Not Let Your Spirit Wane, anthemic Atlas Drowned, past punching What Can I Do If the Fire Goes Out?, and once in a lifetime worship anthem to Nietzschean affirmation Say Yes to Life. 

Read our review of the album here.

Notable mentions: Zone - Cloud Control, Visions Of A Life - Wolf Alice

2018 - FUTURE ME HATES ME, THE BETHS

Notable mentions: Lush - Snail Mail, Evening Machines - Gregory Alan Isakov

2019 - LOW GRADE BUZZ, HUNTLY

Notable mentions: You Deserve Love - White Reaper, First Body - Two People