#i shouldn't even be feeling this way because it's a youtuber of course they're gonna have a different persona in rl/content

[killerandhealerqueen]

for the soft asks - all of the even numbers that you haven't answered yet :D

Took, I love you, god damn

4. what flower would you like to be given?

Oh, sunflowers! I love sunflowers, they're my favorite

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

Alright, alright...hmm

Physical

I have nice hair

I have a nice voice

I have pretty eyes

Non-Physical

I'm compassionate

I'm smarter than I give myself credit for

I'm kind

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

@mishathewtf @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @kpopfantasywriter @seonghwacore @nineninepetals @zennialemo @missjudge-me @zzzhoonie @hyperbolicgrinch @fourth-quartet (obvs) @clawbehavior and there are so many others...I just love y'all

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

I'm excited to finish my current wip that I'm working on and post it after doing some edits to it. I'm really happy with how it's going so far (I can't write a short fic for Killer and Healer to save my fucking life)

12. how are you?

Tired. A little stressed. And nervous cuz I have a job interview coming up on Wednesday...

14. favorite feel-good show?

Now, Killer and Healer is my go to answer for every show, but it's not really a feel-good show, if you know what I mean. So I'm gonna go with White Cat Legend because there are some episodes, ep. 18 in particular, where I just screech with laughter because it's so god damn funny. But my other feel-good show is any show that talks about Ancient Egypt. I love Egyptology and wanted to be an Egyptologist when I was younger (mainly to study mummies, is anyone surprised that I ended up in forensics? No, you shouldn't be). But yeah, any nature documentary or documentary on Ancient Egypt is my go-to feel good show

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

You're an absolute delight and I love seeing you on my dash and getting asks from you and I thank God every day we became friends because of The Devil Judge

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

You fucking kidding me, of course I do. Love my stuffies

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

To get a fucking job and stop feeling like I'm behind all of my friends, even though I know I'm not. It's just that my timeline has not exactly worked out the way I wanted it to, so...yeah. Getting my job in my field would be the cherry on top

22. what would you say to your future self?

Keep being badass

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

Work on/read fanfiction or watch youtube videos

26. what movie would you want to live in?

Uh...Princess and the Frog. Good music, bombass food...sign me the fuck up

28. hugs or hand-holding?

Hugs. I've been told I give good hugs

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

Going into any asian grocery story. See, I lived in Hawaii and spent a lot of time in Chinatown because my great-grandmother used to go there a lot. And Lunar New Year and other stuff like that. So anytime I go into an asian grocery store and smell all the spices and what not, I feel like I'm home

soft asks to get to know people | send me asks

[froothjuce]

The youtube mobile channel page redesign is fundementally wrong (big suprise, i know) (longe post)

why the hell is the banner in a box. just put the last fuckin vestige of customization we have left in an even smaller box so it looks like shit. fucking of course. its called a fucking channel banner they literally had it put together so it fit to the screen and it looked fine but NOOOO everything gotta conform to their "shove everything in fucking rounded boxes" aesthetic because fuck you and common decency i guess.

so heres the previous layout, courtesy of an old screenshot i took

and, like, this layout works. the spread fits well and acts as a good divider on the header on initial appearance

frankly in general I'm just tired of people rounding edges that really shouldn't be rounded

they did it to the video player on desktop, and i dont care if all you miss is like 15 pixels, its still really dumb just in concept

they want everything to be as bland and inoffensive as possible for the fucking adwords money, and they're applying the same principle to their fucking web design. they are burning our balls off for the insurance money.

this website is the only thing making me realize i'm not taking crazy pills and that literally everything is getting worse in more ways then even most people are talking about.

and you wanna know the fucking cherry on top? of all of this? here's the previous layout before that.

(only image i could find on short notice.)

…thats right. the new layout is just a much shittier version of the older one. like, i could get behind left aligning the icon. cause thats how they do it on desktop, it makes sense, you know?

and double guess, lets go back to the original goddamn One UI layout, the initial "taking the horse of user customizability and fun out back and shooting it to death." inciting incident.

(ignore that this image is like 5 pixels)

THIS IS A BETTER LAYOUT THAN WHAT WE HAVE NOW. THE LITERAL FIRST VERSION WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE FUCKING PRODUCT OF THE SHAREHOLDER ROOM THROWING DARTS AT THEIR DICK TO DECIDE HOW TO SIZE THE ELEMENTS.

and i have no doubt in my mind that they're gonna continue to make it worse somehow. they will take every last ounce of customization we have left. because thats what they always do. trust nobody. nothing is ever safe. THIS FUCKING WEBSITE ISNT EVEN SAFE HAVE YOU SEEN THE STATE OF THINGS AROUND HERE? and before you say "oh just use fucking blungovidupload" BUDDY ALL THOSE WEBSITE ARE EITHER FILLED WITH RACISTS OR HAVE AN VIEWERBASE OF LIKE THREE PEOPLE. THERES NO FUCKING WORTHWILE PLACE TO RUN. WE ARE ALL FUCKED. especially me, who was kinda banking on being able to at least hit something on youtube, because i feel like i probably couldn't handle the world as it is without fucking breaking my entire spirit to a depressing extent due to the current state of, like, everything.

its weird to end this incoherent rant on a bleak note, but its true. nothing we do matters in this context. because they hit it big, and they don't care about us. honestly, people say kill them with kindness? i dont get it. we've tried compassion, it doesn't work. i am beyond the need for compassion. i run on spite, anger, and shitposting. at all times.

god gives her shittiest website designs to her most mentally unwell internet history gals

[frannypanpan]

.

[carriereedwrites]

HOW TO (NOT) FEEL OVERWHELMED AS A WRITER

Life happens, ya'll. When it does, it hits hard and is unforgiving. And sometimes, the people in your life- as much they love you and vice versa- don't seem to understand why you're flailing about at 2 AM and crying into your cereal bowl.

Fear not, dear writer. I, too, have cried into a cereal bowl at 2AM and I will deftly defend your right to do so. But, allow me to offer... better... ways to deal with that overwhelming feelings of despair.

***NOTE: This does NOT replace professional advice in ANY way, shape or form. This is coming from someone who has a therapist. And this post is DEFINITELY not meant to down-play those who are struggling with mental health issues. You guys are amazing. I see you. Mmmkay?

Take deep fucking breaths, people. You're in it to fucking WIN IT.

"And, this too, shall pass..." is a good quote for a reason. Now, I won't get too much into Persian poetry. But basically, everything that has come to or ever will be, passes. This all-consuming feeling of anxiety or depression or doubt WILL pass.

Of course, your brain could be convinced but not your body. Which is why deep, calming breaths are essential to refocusing yourself. Go into your Don't-Touch-Me corner, hiss at everyone who comes near, and put on a five-hour rain drop loop on Youtube.

Also, you're a fucking WRITER. You create worlds out of nothing, give your characters hope and despair and love and hate. You can create political intrigue in a made-up empire or create a post-apocalyptic world. You are amazing and wonderful! Don't let shitty feels keep you down, you fucking superstar.

Write out your feelings. And no, don't do it from a character's POV.

This isn't an opportunity to write a story. I'm serious. Don't belittle or disrespect yourself by writing your feelings and struggles from a character's point-of-view. We may want to do it to lessen the blow, but then you bury yourself in a fictional world when your troubles are tangible and real. It's going to be hard and that's the point. Get it out of your head, but don't self-insert.

Feeling vulnerable isn't easy. But, the more you admit to the struggles you're having, the more you can identify and staunch the incoming shit storm. Will it get easier? Maybe. But, it sure as hell would be better than what's happening right now.

Talk to someone who knows the struggle - even if they're not a fellow writer

As in, a close friend or a colleague or a loved one. Or even better, a therapist. But, ESPECIALLY someone who won't judge you. Suuupperrr importante.

The reason? Sometimes when you're close to a situation, you can't often see the obvious. This is why we have beta readers, critique partners, and editors. As writers, we don't often see the faults, or the missing pieces, or what works and what doesn't because the stroy is our baby and it's perfect the way it is.

We have to remember, life is a lot like our stories. We don't often see the issues. We don't often see the good. And people -ya know, those freaking normies, gah!- can offer surprising insight and comfort.

Give it a try. Be patient. Be open-minded.

DO. NOT. GOOGLE. YOUR. SYMPTOMS.

I... I really shouldn't have to explain this.

If I catch you WebMD-ing yourself or thinking Tiktok "gets" you, I'm gonna smack you with a waffle-boot. DON'T DO THIS. PLEASE.

If you really, really think something is wrong with you, please seek professional help. I know not everyone can afford it. I know. I got hit with my bill last month and I'm panicking a little. But, it's worth it. It really, really is. I wouldn't let you fuck yourself.

Look for programs in your area. Reach out to someone in your community. Talk to the place you work and see if they offer a free or affordable program. But for the love of all things holy, DO NOT GOOGLE. PLEASE.

Allow yourself the break

Yes, you're gonna feel guilty.

Yes, your Imposter Syndrome might rear its ugly head.

And yes, anyone who is a complete asshole may notice you're not doing the "writing thing" and will point out the fucking obvious.

Deep breaths, smile... and tell them to fuck off. You DESERVE to have this break.

Creative people can't keep pushing out content. Burn out is a REAL thing and can happen to ANYONE. And there's no shame in it. Idfc who says otherwise. You need to reset and get your creative energy back. And it's not something that can be rushed. It'll take however long is needed. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.

And that's it. That's my shit list for today.

This week has been ROUGH for me. For writing and... functioning in general. But, we have to remember to keep things in perspective, right? Am I feeling this because I'm overworked? Stressed? How often does it happen?

Just remember that you and your feelings are valid. It's the actions we take or the words we say that can invalidate how we feel.

And if you, dear writer, feel like this post is inappropriate... please let me know. It will be taken down. I felt like sharing what I go through and how I deal with this. But, I understand it may be triggering to some. Let me know. Or come talk about life with me. I don't mind. My page is open.

~ Happy Writing, Ya'll ~

[dreamhot]

Lee, what do I do...

I just read up on the Sky does Minecraft situation, and now I feel... Both sick but severely conflicted.

Sky got me through one of the harder times in my life, not the worst, but not the best, and now all that's come forward, how am I supposed to deal?

Can I trust anyone online anymore? What if dream is just like him and I'll pour my heart and soul into adoring something only for it to come out and be absolutely awful... Can I get some advice/reconciliation???

all right so - this got a bit (very) long and discusses some sensitive topics so i'm gonna put it under a cut

it's never easy when this happens. obviously there are varying levels of creator sins - sometimes entirely contained with the cc's social life, and other times involving the fans. either way, there are few feelings like the gut punch of finding out that someone you looked up to isn't a great person. it's like the ground crumbling out from under you. yeah, we don't know the ccs, but we still trust them to be decent people. so when they're not ... that trust is broken.

the first thing you'll always hear is that we shouldn't put anyone on a pedestal. of course that's a given, but that doesn't mean that we can't be disappointed by someone even if we didn't expect them to be perfect. definitely recognise that the people we follow are flawed - especially since we'll never see the entire extent of their personalities or personal lives - but don't feel bad for expecting basic morality either. that's just common sense.

i think one of the best first steps - in a general situation, not specifically this one - is to evaluate the nature of the situation and do your fact checking. how severe was the offense? are there concrete details or only hearsay? are we talking 'i don't support their actions, but i can still watch their content' or is it more 'this is so deplorable that i'm no longer comfortable engaging at all'? bear in mind your personal comfort level and that of victims who might be affected by the situation. compassion goes a long way here.

from a personal standpoint, i followed tobuscus, ryan haywood from achievement hunter, and another (non youtube) figure with a muddy history. i've been through assorted tiers of creator scandals and on the sidelines for others - for example, i never watched cry, but i had friends who loved his content dearly and were shattered when the news came out. it feels almost like mourning... and it is grief, in a way. we lost something that was a comfort to us, something that brought us happiness. that source of joy has effectively died, and it makes sense that we would feel the pain of loss.

and it always creates the worry you mentioned - what if it happens again? what if i trust another figure and they let me down like this? you almost want to tell yourself that you won't let yourself get in that deep again, because it hurts so much worse when you let yourself be that invested. it's the double-edged sword of parasocial relationships - the more you care, the harder it hits you when something falls through. that much is inevitable.

the thing is ... it sucks not to care. it's in many of our natures to see the best in others. when a cc brings us joy, we're going to be passionate about that interest and assume that they won't let us down. and, honestly, i don't think it's wrong to keep that faith even when someone else has hurt you. of course you might be cautious or even wary. of course you might be hypersensitive to potential red flags or worried that the ball is going to drop at some point. i think any of us who went through this sort of upset are familiar with that anxiety - what if [current fixation] is next?

but we don't have to assume the worst, especially when we haven't been given cause to do so. trust me when i say i was extremely wary of dream before i joined the fandom (i mean, i didn't like the guy for a while lmao). the cry-adjacent branding, the encouragement of parasocialism within the fanbase... it made me nervous. but actually following his content and hearing what he has to say has put so many of those old fears to rest.

(the cry stuff is admittedly unfortunate, but the branding also happened before the situation was made public, so i'm willing to let that slide. however, i respect the reticence of anyone who was more invested in cry's content before everything happened - i can understand that anxiety, even if i don't think it's merited here.)

sure, dream openly cherishes his fans, but he's also notably good at maintaining communication boundaries. when he engages with the fandom, we see it. i'd even wager he has less direct interaction with individual fans than he used to, which is a good move when your popularity reaches a certain magnitude. he loves his audience, but imo there's still a clear line dividing his personal life from that of his creator persona - not that i would call his public face ingenuine, but hopefully you know what i mean.

dream's not so bubblegum perfect that it seems like a facade, but neither does he behave in a way that sets off any alarm bells. of course it's true that we can be blindsided by shitty behaviour - because we can never know their whole lives, sometimes bad news will seemingly come out of nowhere. with dream, though, i've allowed myself to have faith in his character. he's fallible, yes - he's only human - but i've not yet seen anything that would lead me to believe that we'll get a horrid bombshell one of these days.

and, while it's sad that we can use this as a point of reassurance... people want to defame him. there are those who constantly seek to find evidence of him being a shitty human being - even going so far as to straight up lie about him to tarnish his name. nothing he does goes unscrutinised, and i feel as though we would know if something was amiss. the fact that nothing meaningful has been dug up by bloodhound antis is a fucked up sort of relief, i guess.

dream's just a guy. he loves his cat and his family and his friends. he has his own history, messy or otherwise with all the high moments and low. he's flawed, but who isn't? the difference between him and others who have let me down in the past is that i believe him when he says he wants to be a good person and make people smile.

i care a lot about him - so much so that if something happened, i would feel beyond crushed. but i have to go with my vibes on this one, and he doesn't cause me to worry. he makes me happy, and if he makes you happy as well, i would try to embrace that feeling. take care of yourself, but don't let yourself shut out the potential for caring just because someone else failed you. there are always going to be good people, ones worthy of our support and affection. and, god willing, dream is always going to be one of them.

<3

[stellocchia]

My problem with overconfident people, especially on Tumblr, is because they think they are morally superior to everyone, and that gets into their head to the point that they start to just accuse people of vile crimes without evidence or second thought

Like, those types people who you feel would fit perfectly in the hellhole that is the commentary community on YouTube, those people.

They don't care about people getting hurt they just want to play the game of "let's see who's morally superior today owo"

Oh yeah, I mean, I'm not sure that's due to overconfidence though.

The climate on the internet sort of encourages that sort of behavior. I mean, Twitter is possibly the most renowned one for that behavior, but it's also definitely not the only platform that encourages it.

The problem often is that the internet, as much as it facilitates the spread of information, it does so tenfold for misinformation. Someone claimes something inflammatory because they want to be angry and people believe them because the original post is worded in a way that makes them enraged enough to believe it's true.

It's a cycle of misinformation feeding into itself.

And the biggest issue is that a lot of people aren't taught how to search for reliable information to discern some bullsh*t statement they read about from decently believable ones. And often the subject of whatever is being talked about isn't something the person themselves is an expert on (because most of us are maybe experts in one thing if that) which makes it even harder to discern the two.

Add to that the whole... internet activism so to say and you have a cocktail for disaster. Now, there is nothing wrong with spreading awareness about certain issues on the internet of course. The problem comes from when you assume that everyone has the same access to information as you do and has seen the same resources you have.

Because then, when people inevitably slip up and make a mistake out of genuine ignorance you'll tend to just assume malice and read their every mistake as intentionally malicious. Which will elicit from you a much more toxic response than needed and make it harder for the person to actually learn what they did wrong and why it was wrong.

That said, a lot of people who are involved in this sort of behavior are young. Not all of them, of course, but a lot are teenagers. And teenagers do tend to see the world a lot more in black and white. And, as my dad always said, that's perfectly fine for their age, and we shouldn't judge teens for acting like teens. It's ridiculous. All we can do is wait for them to grow past that phase and that's it. They're kids, they aren't unchanging assholes set in their ways. Most of them aren't gonna start a cult or a commentary youtube channel, they're just very opinionated and still growing and learning how to express it.

[annavysoul]

I can confirm, they introduced themselves as 3 readers and they made a post how Bee is leaving and starting their own channel. They even made a post to support it and linked the blog, that's how I knew of the Bee drama. But yknow whatever. But they shouldn't demonize those poor future apouses lmao, it's not gonna be them, or any of us.

Warning very long, I got carried away my bad lol

But the drama on tumblr is kinda mild conpared to Youtube "readers". At least the readers here on tumblr try to hide the fact, that they're describing themselves very well but yoooooooo.... Youtube readers are a different breed. Most of them are super young (12-13, but there are a handful of readers old enough to fucking know better) and just straight up describe themselves with no shame. I even found some who put pics of themselves lmao. Me and my friends like to go through readings and bet, who is describing themselves as a spouse. There is one reader who has over 30+ vids on Mrs. J, and most readings are like over 20 mins long. How much is there to know about a person, that doesn't exist yet??? But most YT readers are obssessed with the fact, that Mrs. J is from India, what a coincidence that the reader is also from India lmao. I'm not saying BTS wouldn't ever date someone from that country, I'm saying it's impossible to get a specific country, age, height, religion etc from tarot cards. The pics on the cards might give you clues and the cards can say that the person is different from you, but they go into way too much detail. And it's funny because they're always soooo specific for Jungkook and V, but for the other ones....crickets🦗 On one hand it's so sad bc you have these little girls, putting out their private info, looks and secrets for the whole world to see (these vids have thousands of views) and they don't really grasp the consequences of their actions bc yknow, their just children. The internet never forgets. But on the other hand, you have these grown women who, like I said, should know better than these little girls. Not only do they get so defensive if you don't 100% allign with what they said, they are borderline so obsessed of the idea of being a spouse. Like tf??? Bts aren't Gods. They're very attractive celebs, who's purpose is to entertain people with their contents and music (hence the word idol & entertainer), while they do feed into that perfect bf material scheme, it's up to the fan to not actually develop real romantic feelings (a celeb crush and being a stan is something very different). Most are actually fans for very superficial reasons, they just find them attractive, not the music. And if you take the glitz and glamour of fame and money away, Bts are regular human beings, with flaws and issues. Like. The. Rest. Of. Us. They only show you the best side of them, because it's part of the whole idol package. We truly do not know these people, no matter how sincere or authentic they appear on camera. Like so so many were suprised that they wanted to disband a few years ago, bc they couldn't handle the pressure. These readers always believe if they meet/marry them, their life is going to be better and they feel alive again or smth. Most of these readers actually need therapy, I don't mean that in a condescending way. They imagine that their spouse, a celeb they've never met, will be their sole reason for their happiness and only then they are able to fix their issues and unhappiness. That reeks of co-dependency. And even if they'd become couple and be public, then what? A really big big chunk of Armys are actually in love with Bts, no matter if they even know tarot or not (Armys usually claim that only 2% of the fandom are delulus but that's definetly not true🥴). You'd get send d*eath threats, be harrassed, get doxxed, be hated for all eternity, even if you'd decided to break up. Look what happend with Jk and the tattoo artist he only hugged. She lost her job bc Armys were reporting her, some were trashing her workplace, she got threats, her friends got harassed and doxxed and she lost a friend (Jk). Not only that, but people would legit stalk you and try to hurt you, if you were a romatic partner of Bts. Then you also have the tarot side, who'd try to curse youa nd paint you as the evil demon, who is toxic to member xyz. And I don't think you'd want to spend your entire life locked in your house. And I personally could never deal with like millions of haters, no matter how hot my partner is.

Yoooo! i search again in yt and watch a couple of videos... these are kids for go sake🥺🥺 where are their parents and why they let them public private infoooo?!? internet and children isnt the best combination...

and yess, theres also grown up women and thats really creepy, u can understand that children might do that cause they are young, BUT WHEN U ARE OLD ENOUGH, U SHOULD ACT BETTER!! and i insist, they just trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are worth it to be with a celebrity, like yeah of course u are worthy, like any of us, but this is not the way u know? its weird, i dont think its sane at all, they just are using the cards to feel better, and thats bs. and if it is just a cope mecanism, plz work on yourself, get help, life its better when u are in a healthy place

also its interesting about mrs being from india and most of all the videos i watch where from indian armys, tarot doesnt work like that, yeah u can feel the energy that its different, perhaps different culture and think that maybe it could be a foreing, but the cards will never tell you something that specific, less if u dont even know in person the people you are reading for

we dont know them at all, and people put them in a such high pedestal just for being famous and hot, so i really have trouble to think that some tarot readers can pick their real energy, im a very intuitive person, but i need to be in the presence of the person to feel their real energy, so to be so specific in a reading they need to energise the cards with the energy of the person, they need to at least shuffle the cards and connect with the reader, sooo thats why i only see these reads as enterteiment, and its bad for the community to claim that we can see ALL of about them.

i'll never forgive the people who threaten the tattoo artist, poor girl, and thats why the guys cant have healthiest relationship, let them have a LIFE

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you done 🐕🏃? Janis: yeah, just about Janis: what you up to? Jimmy: how long for? Jimmy: ages? Janis: I'm walking my last lot now so Janis: where's the 🔥 dickhead Jimmy: at the 🏖 Jimmy: you wanna come or what? Janis: oh, alright for some Janis: finally put your 😎 to some real use Jimmy: will do in a bit Jimmy: if we EVER leave 🏠 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: can't find your best 👙? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm waiting for you, obvs Jimmy: get a move on ☀️ girl Janis: alright, why not Jimmy: not gonna 🏃 my own 🐕 am I? Jimmy: earn your 💰 Jessica Janis: 🖕 Janis: she might be my fave customer but you're my least fave owner so Janis: drags her well ⬇ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: poor pup Jimmy: she won't be 💔 now you're going Janis: goes without saying Janis: have to deal with how #gutted you are Jimmy: sit next to my 🤬 sister then, can't I? Jimmy: 🥇 company Janis: what's making her 🤬 today Janis: besides you Jimmy: needs nowt else Jimmy: I'd be 😒 if I didn't have a top mate to bring Janis: fair Janis: been on enough outings with my siblings shit mates in tow Janis: least you can tell her I won't be all over you or anything this time Jimmy: did do, only reason she agreed, DUH Jimmy: nowt to do with how bored she is Janis: welcome to the real 🌍 init Jimmy: You'd reckon I invited Ian and Sharon how she's going on Jimmy: try and do a 🏆 big brother of the year thing Jimmy: just chuck myself in front of the train instead Janis: top starving artist thing though Janis: can't be appreciated in your own lifetime Jimmy: be about right, that Jimmy: and I get that I'm not really making this #goals so if you don't wanna it's alright Jimmy: as sales pitches go Janis: we're all bored, like Janis: but yeah, get your dad to give you some pointers when he's having his #mantoman Jimmy: bit late, I've had that Janis: oh, yeah? Jimmy: any chance to be a bellend, he don't hang about Jimmy: got in there soon as you pissed off Janis: wow, showing Shaz a well good time then Janis: 🙄 Janis: look forward to when she tells me all about that #justbetweenusgirls Jimmy: she weren't there long after you, mission accomplished ✔ Jimmy: you might be going dress shopping with the next one, soz like Janis: 👍 Janis: as long as she's a bleach blonde, not fussy Jimmy: neither's he, you're alright Janis: #fated? Jimmy: gonna get the bleach out, are you? Jimmy: don't reckon the ☀'ll do enough for you Janis: rude, just 'cos I'm getting a new best mate Janis: don't be jealous Jimmy: just looking forward to you having a tan that ain't out of a bottle tbh Janis: not that twin Janis: your 💌 got lost Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: emojis is her preferred method of communication Jimmy: I'll leave her a youtube comment, make yourself scarce, tah Janis: I'm going 🏖 Janis: fill your boots Jimmy: bit of a weird coincidence, that Janis: yeah, if you invite her, I'll be ��� as well Jimmy: What would I invite her for? Jimmy: don't need a babysitter Janis: hmm Jimmy: alright, dickhead Jimmy: do you wanna be uninvited? Janis: don't be a 👶 and prove my point, boy Janis: I'll 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: lasses mature faster, that ain't my fault, only an actual proven point Janis: we'll leave out you ain't hit puberty if it's all the same to you Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: oh THAT'S why my skin's so clear Jimmy: no need to drop my #nighttimeroutine now Janis: such a twat Jimmy: yeah and? Janis: 🤐 yourself Jimmy: but I LOVE a bit of feedback, me Jimmy: ask Bill's 👻 Janis: you NEVER take his notes, liar Jimmy: bollocks do I not Jimmy: always 👂 to him Janis: why you so crap at fake dating then? 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm 🥇 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you'd said it before now Jimmy: if any dickhead's lying, it's you Janis: I said it 'cos I'm 🥇 Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be grumpy Janis: if you were shit, we wouldn't still be doing it Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: marding at me 'cause my balls ain't dropped Janis: stop it Janis: lesbian would be a preferable rep Jimmy: til you've got 💀👑 after you Janis: you want me to say it's better than 12 year olds? Janis: 'cos obviously but fuck off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: you wanna leave it out now? Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: ? Janis: trying your #daddy bit again Jimmy: you wish, girl Janis: *👶girl Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: how rude Jimmy: I'm not fake calling you that, don't care if it's bad manners Janis: 🤷 Janis: if you don't wanna make 💀👑 💚🤢 Jimmy: I can do without that bollocks Janis: go 🥇 or go home Janis: could do without all of it really Jimmy: I am 🏠 hurry up, like Janis: I'm on my way, keep your 😎 on Jimmy: keep your 🧢 on, Joanne Jimmy: oh no hang on, you're fucked it's ⛅ Janis: nah, you're alright Janis: straightened it Jimmy: sounds fake Jimmy: if you're gonna bother lying 🥉 at least Janis: words have an impact Janis: think before you bully Jimmy: 📷 do an' all Jimmy: show us Janis: keen Jimmy: to show you up as talking bollocks Jimmy: always Janis: for me to show up Janis: definitely Jimmy: that'd do an' all Janis: sweet Janis: one more drop off Jimmy: the 🍬🍬 are for the journey but alright you can have one before if you don't say owt to the others Janis: you know me Janis: 🤐 always Jimmy: which 🐕 is it? Janis: not your rival Janis: the fat pug thing Jimmy: were gonna say bring it instead of ours but nah Janis: poor thing breathes worse than you 🚬 Jimmy: every lass would be shitting themselves that there's a perv on the train Janis: another one, anyway Jimmy: Oi, it's just my ☠ lungs Jimmy: stop making me breathless and we'll be alright Janis: unless you truly have invited the gals on a road trip, you won't have to fake that Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: too late or? Janis: you joking? they need 3-5 business days to get ready for school and we have a fucking uniform Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: you know that Janis: yeah Janis: we could do something like that though, might be useful Jimmy: should probably ask 'em what they're doing a bit an' all Janis: you can do that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you're better at it Jimmy: dunno if that's a compliment or an insult but alright Janis: take it as a compliment so you take on all the work Janis: I just Janis: I hate them more than you do Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: take the 🥇 and 😇 Jimmy: not til I say we don't have to go to whatever bollocks party they're 🗨 about at a guess Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I can fake something here 🏠 whenever Jimmy: and you're still 🥇 Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but we're trying to make shit easier, that's the whole plan, and all I'm saying Janis: and trying to fuck their shit up, all I'm saying Jimmy: okay Janis: if I didn't wanna do it no more, I'd tell you Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll leave it out now Janis: it's whatever Janis: I'm on my way to yours now, sorry took so long Jimmy: 👍 Janis: more meant to the kids than you tbh Jimmy: I'll tell 'em how 💔 you are that they got to watch telly for a bit longer then Janis: well, nothing worse than hanging about whilst the adults piss about doing fuck knows Jimmy: I've been doing fuck loads, first off Jimmy: second of all, Cass is outvoted on wanting you to piss off in the other direction so Janis: I bet Janis: having a ☕ putting the 🧺 out taking some well important well long 📞s Jimmy: 45 not 85 tah very much Jimmy: you'll have me 🌱 next Janis: selfish of you not to 🌧 Jimmy: don't reckon 👦 and 🐕 who are both ✔🏖 would see it like that Jimmy: probably call it a dickhead move 💔🎻 Janis: that's a self-explanatory sign, I remember Jimmy: when you get here he wants to 🗨 about sandcastles Jimmy: you* Jimmy: I'll just say you're 🏆🥇👑 nowt to worry about Janis: well I actually am so don't you be chatting shit about me Janis: I'll know Jimmy: 🙈 🙉 🙊 Janis: he's my little mate Janis: dob you well in Jimmy: he would Janis: bless Janis: better be nice to me then Jimmy: I said about 🍬🍬 what else do you want? Janis: it's a start Janis: can see as we go Jimmy: still high maintenance as a mate then Janis: you want one who'll be friends with any dickhead, do you Jimmy: can't even fake that being a yeah to wind you up Janis: feel 🍀 Jimmy: you should Janis: HA Jimmy: steady on, you'll hurt yourself Janis: I'm outside whenever you're ready Jimmy: [comes out and over to her to touch the curls like oh hey you're still there then] Janis: [😏 and bats his hand away like obviously I did not] Jimmy: [Twix running out like HEY GAL v excited] Janis: [give her some love 'we going on the bus or train or what?'] Jimmy: [just shouting your sister like if they don't hurry up we're not going anywhere vibes because doing his head in already lol] Janis: [just doing the 😬 face] Jimmy: [makes you 😏 in spite of everything] Janis: [gestures to her mouth like, you did promise me sweets though] Jimmy: [obvs chucks them at her] Janis: [taking two and putting her finger to her lips] Jimmy: [the kids appearing as soon as she's eaten them so the secret is safe] Janis: [chat to Bobby about these sandcastles] Jimmy: [he wants to know if you've got skills gal] Janis: [just like 'course I do, let's make a better one than him lol] Jimmy: [competition is definitely happening, we must] Janis: [fosho] Jimmy: [I wonder how long this train ride is, I hope it's not awkwardly long lol] Janis: [there's beaches near enough it shouldn't be crazy] Jimmy: [at least you've got the dog and kids to distract you lads] Janis: [just being so sociable rn] Jimmy: [we know it's because there's a vibe between you too but I'm still here for this family unite so go ahead and #bond babe] Janis: [you'd try anyway 'cos not a prick but this is helping can't lie so pop off] Jimmy: [always nice to see another side of him too so I'm about it, we should probably let Bobby win this sandcastle contest soz Cass] Janis: [you can slay all the arcade games don't be too fuming] Jimmy: [don't kick his sandcastle down he will be devvo] Janis: [ahh the drama, so arcades, ice cream, candyfloss, the little rides they have at the beach, sandcastles, chips, anything else?] Jimmy: [getting chased by seagulls and Twix chasing them, having to get her when she legs it into the sea and it being freezing lol] Janis: [should be near the end so they then have to wait to dry off, anyway, all of this has the potential to be awks, like anything they inadvertently end up doing as a pair] Jimmy: [when you're so in love and in a rom com that you can't stop having romantic moments] Janis: [not like you can just ignore each other the whole day, would be weird] Jimmy: [soz again Cass you still gonna be 🙄 even though they're not smooching] Janis: [ugh, so cringe] Jimmy: [Jimothy 100000% has to get her a shit thing from the arcade with his tokens because she gave him that bed screw after school trip so it's his turn for a memento] Janis: [a must] Jimmy: [you two are cute nerds] Janis: [when you've not had close friends or a boyfriend so all of this is so confusing like is this how it's meant to be or what] Jimmy: [and she doesn't even have anyone she can talk to about it, soz for doing this to you babe] Janis: [can't really put the feelers out like hey] Jimmy: [especially not with him because he'd be like obvs this is fine, because you're not gonna be like no actually I'm in love with you so] Janis: [we're not doing that again] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to snuggle after being in the freezing sea] Janis: [true] Jimmy: [Twix shaking all over Bobby who is the only one who didn't get in the sea like thanks for that babe we're all wet and cold now] Janis: [oh Twix] Jimmy: [she's living her best life, oblivious to all this JJ drama] Janis: [I like to think there's a stop that's a few before theirs that is closer to the farm so just hopping off there like you ever go home] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: yeah, it was fun, cheers Jimmy: didn't make me wanna 💀💀💀 Jimmy: must've been Janis: practically a 5🌟 review Jimmy: I won't tweet it out but Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for it Janis: you already gave it to me Jimmy: have another one then Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: do you have enough 🎫s Jimmy: they're all asleep, I can be nice to you now Janis: yeah? Janis: you've been pretty nice Jimmy: [a picture of them all snoozing on this train like see] Jimmy: you don't reckon I can be any nicer? bit rude Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 they bring that chill home but won't hold my breath for you Janis: I'm sure you can Janis: whether you will is a different question Jimmy: don't matter, I can chuck 'em at Ian in a bit Jimmy: Oi, why wouldn't I? Janis: you're pretty busy Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend or real mate? Janis: 🥇brother Jimmy: I ain't got a mug, can't be Janis: should've looked Janis: must've been one with all the kiss me quick shit Jimmy: I'll get our kid set up 🎨 keep him busy crafting so I'm not too busy for you Janis: can use all the 🐚s he got Jimmy: don't fancy drinking a brew out of a 🐚 but I'll have him crack on with one for you 🧜 Janis: you should ™ it now, we're only a trend or two away Jimmy: might be a way to get 💀👑 and her mates on side, tah Janis: they'll be all about the salt water, DUH Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: think even your sister had a good time though Janis: between the 😒🙄 Jimmy: she's probably moved from 🤬 to 😠 scale wise Janis: take it as a win Jimmy: you can do Janis: 🏆 you said Jimmy: don't worry I'm not taking it back Jimmy: you earned it Janis: you can try Janis: already on my shelf with all my others Janis: not find it now Jimmy: too 💪 for me to have a go an' all, you Janis: 🤔 Janis: now you're being too nice and it's weird Jimmy: Hang on, I'll wake my sister and slag you off for a bit Janis: 👍 Janis: can give me the notes when you're done Jimmy: you know I can't write Jimmy: no need for you to be mean Janis: voice notes exist Jimmy: you can just say you miss me, mate Jimmy: it's alright Janis: how could I Janis: literally just left Jimmy: your accent kink were unlocked ages ago Janis: if I had one, I'd have better taste 😏 Jimmy: the whole north is 💔😭🎻 girl Jimmy: 🤞 you're proud of yourself Janis: you show me your fit long lost cousins, I'll take it back Jimmy: if I find 'em I'll be too busy arranging a lift home to chuck 'em at you Janis: rude but fair Jimmy: crack on after if you fancy Janis: don't really need your permission Jimmy: you put your sister off limits, I can do the same Janis: immediate family only Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that only gives me Ian Janis: and he's well 😍 Janis: appreciate my struggle Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you've got some fit sisters AND a gay brother Janis: you piss off Janis: no I don't Jimmy: none of 'em? 💔 Jimmy: your fit mum'll have to do then Janis: shut up Jimmy: @ her I'll be over for my tea in a bit and I don't eat nowt like 🥦🌽🥕 Janis: you're the least funny person I've ever met Jimmy: 🤡💔😭 Janis: 🖕🔥💀 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: alright, ALL my attention's back on you Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: you don't have to want it to get it, Jill Janis: 🙄 you telling me things I know now Jimmy: head that big we'd never 🗨 if I didn't Janis: and what a tragedy that would be 👻🖋 Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll go to sleep an' all then 🤞 we'll miss our stop and end up somewhere more #goals Jimmy: 👋🏠 Janis: unlikely Janis: don't go 🌙 Jimmy: worth a 🎯 Janis: that was what I reckoned but weren't buzzing for me so Jimmy: make Ian 😤 when he has to come fetch us if nowt else Janis: worth it Jimmy: 👍 night Janis: whatever idiot Jimmy: parting IS such sweet sorrow with you 💕 Jimmy: so lovely to me Janis: you want gutted I can offer a tweet or an insta post Jimmy: stick with 🖕🔥💀 it's more real Janis: that it is, mate Jimmy: no need to take over telling me shit I know Janis: 👍 Janis: sweet dreams then Jimmy: tah Janis: hmu when you wanna do something fake Jimmy: lasses first Jimmy: loads of options in the group 🗨 Janis: well I got some 📸 today I can make look goals Jimmy: #same Jimmy: can fake you're here as long as 💀👑 ain't at yours when you get back Jimmy: might make it a bit harder if she 👀 you Janis: unless she's that 😍 she sees me everywhere Jimmy: 🤢🤢 Jimmy: be about right, that Janis: don't chat like I'm not a top mirage Jimmy: weren't me saying nowt Janis: hmm Jimmy: I rate you, I've said Jimmy: don't rate her 😍💕🔪 with you Janis: Bill probably does Jimmy: @ him for his review Janis: might be the storyline he goes with Janis: if one of us pretends to be a lad for a bit or whatever Jimmy: does LOVE a bit of that but you'd still end up with a lad by the end though Jimmy: if you're not 💀💀💀 Janis: obviously 💀💀💀 Jimmy: go on and make me feel less special, dickhead Janis: never promised you're the only one that dies Jimmy: you can't be my Juliet and some other lass Jimmy: for or with 💀👑 Janis: stick to the script, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 not ✏️ Janis: where's your chainmail look then Jimmy: Oi, least shout me a drink first Janis: I'm with the astronaut not fannying about getting you drinks Jimmy: bit rude Janis: talk about rude Janis: you're gatecrashing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Jimmy: know where I ain't 💕 Janis: have you not seen the 1996 classic or what Janis: main plot point there Jimmy: Leo's dead distracting, who can follow owt going on with the plot Janis: it's my parent's party, you, your cousin and your mates gatecrash 'cos you're off your tits Janis: astronaut is my fiance and you're well in love with this other girl, 'til we 👀 through a massive fish tank Jimmy: Oh Bill, he don't know you're the pisshead, well awkward Jimmy: I remember that bit 🐠 🐟 Jimmy: must be the fish kink you said I had Janis: see Janis: 💫 Jimmy: Who's the dickhead you're marrying? Janis: Paul Rudd Janis: well in, tbh Jimmy: does the lass I dump for you even get a face? Janis: nah Janis: you're that dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be like my ex who you've only got my word for existing Janis: she is my cousin and all, why you're at the party Janis: which is a bit rude to bin her off there and then but Janis: 🐠 🐟 kink Jimmy: I told you it shouldn't only be immediate family off limits, Jules Jimmy: you weren't having none of it Janis: don't matter Janis: you don't even speak to her before reckoning you're well 😍 Jimmy: finally sounds like me Jimmy: nice one Bill Janis: 'course Janis: he is well mopey Jimmy: DUH, not just him 'cause I'm the lad Jimmy: if the 😭 fits Janis: try out for Hamlet next, boy Jimmy: don't reckon that's the school play on offer Jimmy: but I'll have a word Janis: please do Janis: Shane who's had every lead since we were 👶 would piss himself Jimmy: only if you're at the front to 👏 and chuck 🌹 at us Jimmy: very shy, me Janis: like fuck are you Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: you're practically an exhibitionist Jimmy: Dunno what you've 👂 or 👀 Jimmy: but that sounds well fake Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌👌 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: not like I've ended up nearly naked at a party 'cos of you or nothing Jimmy: that weren't deliberate Janis: nah? Jimmy: it means nowt but I'm heavy handed and that dress weren't worth the 💰 Janis: nicked it anyway Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: and you never flashed nobody 'cause I gave you my jacket Jimmy: what kind of exhibitionist would do that? Janis: joke 🤡 Jimmy: Oi don't be calling me a joke Janis: would be a compliment, if I were Jimmy: how would it? Janis: clowns are meant to be funny Jimmy: funny weren't what you said Janis: what's a joke if not funny Jimmy: you're taking the piss, not giving me a compliment Jimmy: might be thick but I can work out the difference Janis: so you know I was saying I was joking and you're being picky about nothing right now Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: 👍 Janis: you're the one being a dick but alright Jimmy: nah you're the one winding me up about something I already feel 😳 about Janis: why Janis: not like I actually care or cared Jimmy: shut up about it then Janis: fine, jesus christ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be about it alright Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Janis: no need Jimmy: you said you were gonna stop going on about it Janis: I'm just saying Jimmy: no need Janis: okay Jimmy: 👌 Janis: they're not here by the way Janis: so pretend I'm there Jimmy: Alright Janis: cool Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: not going nowhere far so it don't count as covering Jimmy: weren't asking Jimmy: it's a piss easy job when it don't drag on Janis: ? Jimmy: faking that we're 🏠💕 Janis: alright, thrilled for you then Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for when we've got 👀🍿 Janis: I get it Jimmy: nowt to get, I don't need 👏🏆🌹 for this Janis: you want me to piss off Jimmy: sounds like you've got somewhere to be Janis: so we can't 💬 Jimmy: do you want to? Jimmy: 'cause it didn't sound like it Janis: that was you Jimmy: you started it Janis: no I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: 1. jumping off the train without even a 😘 2. getting engaged to Paul Rudd 3. being a dickhead to me Janis: 1. I said bye 2. if you were paying attention you'd know we was already 👰🤵 before I could be forced to marry him 3. you're a bigger dickhead to me Jimmy: very convenient all that Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: What are you doing other than 🙄 at me for nowt? Janis: going for a run Jimmy: so how do you reckon we're gonna 🗨? Jimmy: you gonna send me breathless voice memos or what? Janis: I don't get out of breath 'cos I'm not 🚬🍔🍻 Jimmy: *🥧🥔 first off Jimmy: second, not 🏃 hard or far enough then, are you? Janis: its called pacing Jimmy: next you're gonna try and lie to me that you don't sweat like that pervy prince Jimmy: it's called bollocks Janis: fine then, no one is about to force you Jimmy: What, to believe you? Weren't likely, my dear Janis: talk, prick Jimmy: I don't need to be forced, I only asked how you were gonna manage it whilst being SUCH an athlete Janis: talk to text, as if it matters Jimmy: was that so hard? Janis: why did you need tk know, just to be awkward Jimmy: it were an easy enough question Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what have I done now? Jimmy: too nice a bit ago, too much of a dickhead after Janis: forget it Jimmy: Why, 'cause you don't wanna talk to me and you're just putting it on me like I don't or? Janis: if I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't be Jimmy: What then? Janis: it's just Janis: weird Jimmy: it's always been weird Jimmy: you're my fake girlfriend Janis: too weird maybe Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: that I duon't reckon this is gonna work Janis: don't* Jimmy: which bit? Janis: being mates Jimmy: So what, you just wanna treat this like another job? Janis: yeah, I guess Janis: be easier Janis: and that's the point Jimmy: except I'm not a 🐕 that needs a piss but alright Janis: I'm not saying you are Jimmy: you're just saying that's what you wanna treat me like Jimmy: job done Janis: no, we don't have to be cunts to each other Janis: but I don't do friends, where are the rest of mine, like Janis: can't hack it Jimmy: you could've said before you spent the day becoming mates with my little brother Janis: I was trying Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'll sign that to him then, tah Janis: I didn't think it'd be this hard Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: it's you, I can't be around you Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: but you reckon you're alright to be around me at some bollocks or owt else where you need a fake boyfriend Jimmy: party* Janis: if you don't want to do it no more then fine Jimmy: it's you who can't hack me Jimmy: I had a lovely time Janis: you know why Jimmy: I said no to fucking you once, there's why Janis: yeah, I already feel like a piece of shit for it, you don't need to do that for me Jimmy: how do you think I feel? that's all you want me for Janis: I don't do friends it ain't tat you wouldn't be a decent one Janis: that* Jimmy: right and as long as I can fake being a decent boyfriend, what does it matter? Jimmy: tah for the heads up Janis: obviously we're not going to do that no more Janis: I didn't want to just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: obviously I don't get a fucking say Jimmy: why would I 'cause you don't care what I want Janis: Yes I do Janis: that's why I did this, 'cos otherwise I was just lying to you Jimmy: bit late to chime in with that bollocks when you've already pissed all over everything Jimmy: but alright Janis: what else can I do Jimmy: nowt clearly 'cause you tried really hard for a day Janis: you shouldn't have to try to be someone's mate, would you, that's the whole point Jimmy: you shouldn't have said you were up for it if you weren't Janis: nah Jimmy: 📞 that dickhead, bet he'll have another go at ending this for us Janis: don't, alright Jimmy: soz, you've probably 💭🥇💡 while I were pissing about on the 🏖 Jimmy: go on Janis: No, I haven't Janis: I had a good time too, it's not about that Jimmy: let me know when you have then Jimmy: so I know what I'm going along with Janis: it doesn't matter, I don't care Jimmy: you're not gonna pull your weight with this either Jimmy: tah very much Janis: literally the furthest thing from my mind right now Janis: so sorry Jimmy: yeah, you gave out the apologies a bit ago, no need to tack that one on Janis: so what, I'm meant to keep hanging out with you all the time, and pretend I don't want to kiss you, that's normal, is it? Jimmy: how about I gave you 3 days and you can't even give me one Janis: what? Jimmy: I told you why I only wanted to be mates, that I didn't wanna fuck this up, and you're just cracking on with that anyway Janis: and it's me that only wants a fake boyfriend? Jimmy: yeah, THAT'S what I meant by any of that Janis: how would I know? all I know is I can't fake be all over you one second then barely talk to you the next Jimmy: I weren't asking you for that, I never have done Janis: that's exactly what we do Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: I talk to you Janis: would you rather I lie about it Jimmy: if it means I don't get left with fuck all, I might do Janis: I get fuck all too Jimmy: that don't make me feel better, funnily enough Janis: there ain't nothing I can do that will Jimmy: you could not do this Janis: if that were true, I wouldn't have Jimmy: there's nowt else to say then Janis: alright Jimmy: just go Janis: I have Jimmy: stop talking to me, dickhead Janis: [shall I post? or are we skipping to whatever is next?] Janis: [how should we start whatever is next, for that matter?] Jimmy: [I was thinking maybe he could be drunk and feelsy because we've done her already but I don't know how to just kick that off like] Janis: [I had a similar thought that regardless it needs to come from him 'cos she's put it out there low-key twice now and has got ultimately a no response each time so, could go the route of it being a party and thus like, come fake, even if it's a no obvs 'cos can carry on the convo or you could commit to just starting the convo from the off] Jimmy: [when I was in your archive looking for beach stuff which I rudely never found I did find a convo where it was like he'd been locked out because there's a shortage of keys in that house always and forever thanks Cass and she ultimately helped him break in so I'm wondering if I can do something with that hmmm] Jimmy: [it was a whole #mood is why I'm considering it lol] Janis: [I vibe with that] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: where's your 🔑 Jimmy: ???????? Janis: on my dog-walking keys with the rest of them Janis: why? Jimmy: 🏃🏠✔ Janis: no, didn't get that Jimmy: UGH Jimmy: just run here Janis: I've not got them on me, not walking dogs at this o'clock Janis: you lost yours? Jimmy: bring me a jacket then Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: is everyone at yours asleep? Jimmy: except Ian but it were him who chucked me out Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: alright, I'll come but I'm a bit away so you'll have to keep warm Janis: why'd he throw you out then? Jimmy: how? you don't do mates and I don't do 🏃 Jimmy: that's not why he chucked me out, don't care about my fitness Janis: not even on the spot? Janis: what about that 🍾you been drinking? not enough left to do the trick or what Jimmy: 🥂 very civilised Jimmy: I get it, you've forgotten who I am Jimmy: and you want me to chase my tail Jimmy: 🐕💔 Janis: dinner party, was it? Jimmy: you need mates for that, girl Jimmy: should've done 🐕💕 you'd like me more if I were Janis: I like you just fine Janis: and who needs mates, just steal your other glass 🥂 Jimmy: I'd have let you have it Janis: you're very generous, I've always said that Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: love a compliment, me, I remember them all Janis: 🧠 flex Jimmy: and you can't even tweet it Jimmy: 🎻😭😭 Janis: that is a tragedy, truly Janis: could do it for old times sake but Jimmy: there's loads of other things I'd rather do for old times sake before that Janis: 😱 tweeting weren't your fave Jimmy: I don't have a 🖋 can't do you a list Janis: s'alright, won't keep you warm and that's priority Jimmy: you'll keep me warm Jimmy: you'll be well warm when you've 🏃 here Janis: I'll get you in your gaff, yeah Jimmy: I don't want to be there Janis: no? Jimmy: DUH I should've kicked the door in like we did to Lucas', I didn't wanna scare him but he can't hear it, can he? Jimmy: turn back around, it's alright Janis: I reckon your house doors are a bit sturdier, don't do that, alright Jimmy: Cass won't be 🤬 she loves kicking a door in Jimmy: unless she thinks it's my mum coming back Janis: and your dad will be regardless Janis: it's not a good idea Jimmy: be a 🥇 entrance if it were here though Jimmy: her* Janis: pretty impressive Janis: have to at this point, right? Jimmy: 🍾 be out then Janis: yeah Jimmy: what are you doing? Janis: coming to get you, obviously Jimmy: but before Janis: with all my mates? Janis: nothing, really, just Janis: about Jimmy: 🧛 business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: 🦇🩸 Janis: exactly Janis: if I told you I'd have to eat you Jimmy: just don't be biting anyone else Jimmy: I don't care what you do to me Janis: I haven't Janis: that kind of night, I get that, too Jimmy: on any night, don't Janis: it's very unlikely Janis: even though it's a bit mean you want me to starve Jimmy: I said you can have me Janis: you'd get me pissed right now Jimmy: wouldn't even cost you nowt Jimmy: 🥇 date, me Janis: cheap, too 😏 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: no 🎫 needed either Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: weren't enough for my ex Jimmy: I @ed her but she don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: there's a mate you could have Janis: reckon that's her loss Janis: but I'm alright for her Jimmy: #savage Janis: don't think she's dying to talk to me either, it's alright Jimmy: might be now I fucked this up an' all Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: you can swap stories of how crap I am Janis: she fucked around on you, you've told me before, can't be your fault Jimmy: DUH 'cause I was crap Janis: you aren't crap Janis: this were my fault, remember Jimmy: no, it weren't Janis: of course it was Jimmy: of course it weren't Jimmy: you said why you pissed off, it were nowt to do with me, what were I gonna do, hold it against you forever Janis: you told me why you can't have that and it's probably a lot more valid than why I stropped off Jimmy: people leave me Jimmy: or wanna Jimmy: 🎻🎻 etc Janis: it's really fucked, about your mum, you don't need to act like it ain't Janis: I get why you reacted how you did Jimmy: you came back Jimmy: I didn't have to be a prick about it Janis: when I came back Janis: I made loads more mistakes too Jimmy: I didn't even ask if you were alright Jimmy: I haven't now either Janis: 'cos you know Janis: like I know Janis: we're clearly not alright, as people, are we Jimmy: owt could've happened to you and I just had a go, without waiting a sec or leaving it out for one Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: and I'm sorry I set you up to piss off again by reckoning you would Janis: it's alright Janis: nothing happened to me Janis: well, I'll tell you what it actually was, but I don't know if it'll sound like much now Janis: my dad, as Mia pointed out ages ago, died a few months back Janis: but before that he was a piece of shit and had loads of kids and fuck all to do with any of us for a proper amount of time Janis: and his mum likes to act like he was some saint, and one of his exes is clearly in the same boat and for some reason they've got it into their head we all need to get together as if he gave a shit about family when he was here or is gonna now Janis: that day they just showed up, when my mum weren't about, and wouldn't fuck off or shut up or get out my face so I just Janis: I can't even remember but my nan was on the floor like I'd stabbed her so I just had to go, no time to think or prepare anything Jimmy: 🍻 to shit dads Jimmy: I meant what I said, you can always stay here Jimmy: I'm still your mate even though you're not mine Janis: drink to that Janis: I meant what I said, or tried to say Janis: I wanna be your mate but I dunno how to be one or have one Jimmy: I know, and I'm not an expert myself, like Jimmy: it's different with lads and she were my mate, alright, but we weren't good mates to each other so Janis: you did a better job than me at any rate Janis: you were probably different before, yeah Janis: I was Jimmy: 🌧😒 still Jimmy: it were shit before an' all, just a different sort Janis: that's not gonna stop me wanting to be your friend, bit hypocritical Jimmy: just want you to know Jimmy: not sainting my mum, she were as bad as Ian when she were about Jimmy: alright, he's got worse since but Jimmy: 🌧🌧🌧 Janis: different shit, I hear you Jimmy: I didn't wanna get in over my head when you could just walk off again Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: understandable Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about how I feel Jimmy: or you Janis: no, there ain't Janis: but makes sense why you'd try Janis: half the reason I say no mates Jimmy: what's the other half, you just like being fit and mysterious? Janis: no, the, not knowing how to do it and not liking to be shit at things thing I mentioned Jimmy: you're not shit Jimmy: you said you were sorry you like me, but I'm sorry now you don't no more Jimmy: and I'm not sorry I like you Janis: It hasn't just turned itself off Janis: but it'd be unfair to have this conversation when you're wasted, wouldn't it Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: 1. what I can remember when I ain't 2. if you're gonna make me 😭 Janis: exactly, can't and won't be holding you to anything you say tonight Janis: and don't wanna make you cry either, as a rule Jimmy: but Janis Janis: you never say my name Jimmy: there's loads I don't say Janis: I can tell that much Janis: you don't have to tell me anything Jimmy: can I? If I want? Janis: yeah Janis: of course Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I'm scared Janis: what of? Jimmy: not seeing you after this Janis: after this conversation, or like Janis: when you go Jimmy: both Janis: well, you'll see me after this conversation, I can promise that Jimmy: but not like before Janis: that can be a good or a bad thing Jimmy: yeah Janis: if you do remember, and you feel the same about any of it, then we can talk about that then, work it out Jimmy: what if I don't remember? Janis: you'll read this back, I'm sure Janis: whatever you said to your ex too Jimmy: have you forgotten I'm a MASSIVE dickhead Janis: met worse Janis: sorry 💔 Jimmy: you said you don't wanna make me 😭 Janis: 🤐 Janis: you're the worst person I've ever met Janis: better? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 😏 Jimmy: do we have to go in? 🔑🏠 Janis: you should probably go in somewhere, to warm up Janis: but there's other places we can Jimmy: @ your nan who isn't evil Jimmy: tell her to put the kettle on Janis: maybe Janis: we'll see how quiet you're capable of being first Jimmy: what are you gonna be doing to me? Janis: oi, not like that Janis: more like she probably don't wanna have a chat with you but the spare room is basically mine so if you can 🤫 a tea ain't out the question Jimmy: what time is it? Janis: pretty late Janis: she ain't evil but she is 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Janis: you might 😭 Jimmy: like you Jimmy: cute Jimmy: is your mum on the scale an' all? Janis: not cute Janis: not really Janis: she's a bit of a hippie throwback but not all ✌&💕 Jimmy: that'll be why you live in the middle of nowt, I get it 🌳🌼🌻🌱 Janis: a longer story than that Janis: but cut short, my dad was such a dick, his granddad would rather live with and leave my ma a farmhouse than him, and that's what happened Jimmy: wish I could chuck Ian out for being a knobhead Janis: when you got enough to pay the bills Jimmy: gonna start chucking stones at your nan's window of a night Jimmy: have that spare room out from under you, girl Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean, really harsh to take my role and my balcony from me like that but I get it Jimmy: your granddad still about or what? Janis: yeah, unlucky Janis: if she don't fuck you up he will Jimmy: 💔 but not for her probably, just me Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: used to it, been dumped more times than I've had girlfriends Janis: explains why you're used to the #drama Jimmy: 🖋👻🎭 Janis: she can be rosaline then Jimmy: Bill would have one of his characters end up a child bride to their dad's best mate Janis: seriously, do need to ring someone about that Janis: remind me Jimmy: it's grim up north, babe Janis: so you keep telling me Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see for yourself Jimmy: I'll pack you in my bag Janis: 👍 Janis: why not Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how are you, are you still cold? Janis: I'm basically there now Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: okay, I'll 🏃 this bit fast, hold on Jimmy: you're so Janis: shh Jimmy: you said I could tell you Jimmy: owt I want Janis: okay but I won't be replying Jimmy: 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [😍 af] Janis: [immediately coming at him and putting your coat on him and hugging him really tight for the warmthing] Jimmy: [SUCH a hug and SUCH a happy sigh because you missed her so much] Janis: [just telling him it's alright over and over] Jimmy: [just not letting her go for the longest time and we know it's not because he was inappropriately dressed to be thrown out into the cold] Janis: [we're allowing it, before trying to get him to walk like come on then] Jimmy: [helping her like she's the one who needs it because sweet drunken nerd] Janis: ['you're an idiot' but in a purely affectionate way] Jimmy: ['you're a top runner' what a genuine and pure thing to say sir] Janis: ['thanks' amusment] Jimmy: ['it's alright' such a genuinely cute smile like] Janis: [can't help but smile back 'I'll get you another key done tomorrow, you can hide it somewhere for emergencies'] Jimmy: ['Dunno what you heard but I'm living with your fit nan now so'] Janis: [nudging him but very gently so he's not falling] Jimmy: [dramatically hitting the deck like he's been shot but extending his hand once he's down there like come lie with me not like help me up] Janis: [being like 'Jimmy!' and getting to his side so fast 'cos you think he's actually hurt himself so then you're 😒 'how about we wait 'til we're inside to lie down, yeah'] Jimmy: [popping back up v quickly but forlorn because you don't want her to be mad at you and touching that grumpy face v softly like hey no I'm okay it's fine] Janis: [cupping his own face 'don't scare me' like barely audible even though it's assumedly pretty quiet and you're the only people about] Jimmy: [shaking his head cos he didn't mean to and he doesn't want to ever and giving her another hug] Janis: [being like soz 'cos feeling like an overreaction now and shamed] Jimmy: [just snuggling her and being soft until she feels more chill, like hide against me gal it's okay because we understand] Janis: [just have a moment kids] Jimmy: [then have a walking and handholding moment] Janis: [get to mcvickers] Jimmy: [try not to anger this nan] Janis: [just putting him to bed and going to sneaky get a tea] Jimmy: [tbf all you'd have to say is that he got locked out and she'd be fine, we know the life she lived] Janis: [although #yesallmen lmao] Jimmy: [distrust of all y'all except her own bae] Janis: [fair tbh] Jimmy: [Caleb that's something else you did, you prick] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [tea will make you feel better though Jimothy] Janis: [bring that up] Jimmy: [drinking it whilst 😍 because we're not hiding nothing tonight] Janis: [looking at him like what you looking at but knowing saying that would be dangerous rn] Jimmy: [just being like 'come here' even if she's already next to you and as close as she could physically be because you always wanna be closer than that] Janis: ['drink your tea' but sitting next to him on the bed instead of at the foot of] Jimmy: [does what he's told] Janis: [after a while 'how do you feel now?'] Jimmy: ['gutted there were no biscuits but I'll live'] Janis: [😏 'if you're actually hungry-' and half getting up] Jimmy: [lowkey probably is but stopping her from going and pulling her into him in one swag movement because priorities and having her on his lap is a shameless fave] Janis: [soft 'hey' forever] Jimmy: ['please don't leave' softer and quieter] Janis: ['you can go to sleep, and I'll still be here when you wake up' squeezing his hand in silent promise] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on that hand with his other one but not moving other than that because we're having emotions] Janis: [laying down whilst in his lap so with her head on his chest and telling him it'll be alright again] Jimmy: [just have your snuggle kids] Janis: [lull that boy to sleep]

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

sjjssiissoas ok so I'm just browsing youtube as usual and I see a LEGO stop-motion video. And I see it, it's like someone making a wooden duck toy but with LEGO blocks, in stop-motion, and I'm like oh that's pretty neat! I wonder what else this channel has? And they have more stop motion LEGO videos, yeah...and their featured one (you know, whatever is the big one that appears when you click on a channel) is the fucking. Passion Of Jesus Christ. In LEGO stop motion. Right under a "subscribe and buy our merch!" banner.

And this us already hilarious and I could've ended the post there but there's more. See, in this video (or at least in their own comment for the video) they promote a Christian Movie by "their friend", called Because Of Gracia.

Now just out of curiosity I watch the trailer they linked, expecting it to be terrible, and...it doesn't look too bad at first. Bland, sure, and it's about a basic heterosexual romance, but it seems to be generally ok and even just promoting good values, you may not even realize this is a christian movie! It seems generally harmless and mediocre (ok ignoring the fact Gracia, the main romantic interest who is also Latina, has her first line in the trailer be "just call me Grace :)" idk I feel that's problematic) until we meet this guy.

Now if you couldn't tell by how he looks or the only line he says, "just because something is improbable, you assume it comes from a higher power", this guy is the straw atheist™. And honestly he's not even making that bad a argument like... Wonderbread Boy (that's our main char) replies "and what about dialogue and the pursuit of truth?" and if you know these movies you know damn well he's not gonna do that, he's gonna go through endless fallacies lmao.

But yeah right after that it just goes full American Evangelical Bullshit™. And you may be thinking...hey this is familiar! Yeah aren't like half of these things from that awful Christian Movie from a few years ago with a weirdly edgy title? And yeah, you're right. I watched another trailer and

It's the same fucking guys. In case you weren't familiar with God's Not Dead or knew about it but didn't care to look too much into it, the main plot is Christian Wonderbread boy arguing with an atheist professor about the existence of God, who is revealed to be atheist because of his wife's death and yes, gets evangelized at the end.

Now idk if the first one delved into the theme of fake opression but the second one certainly did, the main plot of that one (oh yeah this paragraph is about this strap in) is a Good Christian Wonderbread Professor Woman getting into a trial because she dared to talk about Jesus Christ when asked in a lecture that was relevant. Now even casting aside the fact this makes no sense even in-universe, she then gets actively opressed by an atheist court, saying all education should be secular and yadda yadda, again, despite the fact he was talking about Jesus in a purely historical context. In real life like...That's just...not how it works. Christianity is the norm both in America and the world in general. They're just not opressed.

Of course this isn't just a silly world they made up, this is how they genuenly feel. See, at the end, they bring up a list of real cases of "Christian Ooression", cases where Christians were supposedly opressed by law for expressing their faith in America in some way. Besides the fact it was like...20 cases total? Most if not all of them were cases like the infamous one where a bakery refused to bake a cake for a gay wedding. So yeah, to these people not being able to discriminate to an actually opressed group is discrimination and opression.

Idk I guess I went on this rant to say that like, christian propaganda (or at least white american evangelical one,) isn't just silly, it's dangerous, and we shouldn't just laugh it off? I wasn't planning on this post being this lonh and I'm not good at conclusions, I kinda just started typing and couldn't stop.

Also I feel like I should source basically where I got all the info for the GND trilogy

[lovetheplayers]

Taylor's interview on the Zoe Ball Breakfast Show | BBC Radio 2 (April 29, 2019)

Richie: Taylor, hello.

Taylor: Good morning!

Richie: How are you, my love? You okay?

Taylor: I'm so good. I'm so happy to talk to you!

Richie: I love the new song by the way.

Taylor: Oh, you do? Thank you!

Richie: I drove to Liverpool on the weekend which is about two hours from where I live and I must have listened to it about 20 times on the way there and 20 times on the way back; it's so good.

Taylor: Seriously?

Richie: Honestly. It was so amazing, we couldn't stop playing it all the way there, all the way back and already this morning I've listened to it twice, Taylor, so I'm feeling it.

Taylor: Oh, you're so sweet to say that. Thank you. I really just feel, like, it's so nice when people say that it makes them happy. Like, that's legitimately the best thing you could say.

Richie: Well in general, your music does. We were talking about your music on the show last week. You always make me kind of feel warm and fuzzy which is good, which is what music is meant to do.

Taylor: Aw, thanks.

Richie: So just give us sort of like a window into the world of Taylor Swift. Where are you right now?

Taylor: I'm sitting on my couch; I have three cats within 20 feet of me which is how I prefer to exist. So I had rehearsals and then I came home and then I watched the latest episode of Game of Thrones which was beautiful. I'm not going to spoil anything for anyone but, whoa.

Richie: You watch Game of Thrones with your cats? Are they your Game of Thrones buddies?

Taylor: Well, I'll watch with anyone who wants to but I get really emotional so there's a lot of clapping and screaming and crying that happens when I watch Game of Thrones, so sometimes when I know it's gonna be, like, I heard this was going to be the most intense episode and it was, so I kind of felt like I should probably do this, you know, alone.

Richie: Because I imagine that would scare the cats. I imagine they'd look at you like, "Are you okay, hon?"

Taylor: They're so used to it.

Richie: What I love about you is that you write your songs yourself. I mean, that is incredible and this new single ME! again you have written. Now with me, when I kind of have, like, an idea or a brainwave it seems to happen at the worst possible time, so, like, in the middle of the night, if I'm walking down the aisle in the supermarket. So what do you do if you're out and about and you get a melody or a lyric come to you?

Taylor: Oh, completely. You never get an idea—almost never—when you're, like, sitting in a writing session or you're in the studio or something; it's always in the middle of the night. There are times when I've written a really cool hook in a dream and then you wake up and you're like, "I'll definitely remember that, right?" and then you don't. And that only has to happen to you a couple of times before you start recording every single idea you ever have and so my phone has all these, like, three second voice memos of me just, like, mumbling what I think might be a good idea and if you go back through them, like 97% of them are really, really terrible or completely unintelligible. Like, you have no idea. I'll be, like, "That was 4:00 in the morning. I have no idea what this even is. This sounds like it doesn't even sound—it sounds like a grizzly bear. It doesn't even sound like a human." But sometimes you get an idea that really works out and this was one of—this was one of those where I had this idea, I stored it up for this writing session because I felt like when we when we went to the studio next this was the first thing I wanted to bring in, and so we constructed the first half of the song and then we're like you know what this seems like it might be a you know a narrative where we want another person in here to say his side of it, like a duet because it's about confidence, it's about expressing your individuality and I think that it's kind of cool to have, you know, the story be that this is a love song two people in a relationship but both of them feel irreplaceable within that relationship because I think people often times everybody struggles with insecurity, so I just wanted to get a song that was catchy enough to get stuck in people's heads that also makes them feel like they're worthy and special and irreplaceable.

Richie: Now I love the video and it's already been one of the fastest most watched music videos on YouTube. 10 million views in just two hours. There's so many parts of this new video but what I also wonder, 'cause your videos are always very colorful, there's lots of outfits, there's a lot going on. Do you ever take any mementos from the set of your videos?

Taylor: Oh, yeah, definitely. This didn't happen on this shoot but there have definitely been times where I've been, like, "Okay, so this video has a really nice rug in this, you know, in this room. Can I buy this?" When I bought my first apartment I was, like, always shopping basically on photo shoots and video shoots, being like, "Is there any way that's for sale? Can I buy that for my apartment?"

Richie: Well Taylor, thank you so much for speaking to us. The next time you are in the UK please come and see us in the studio because you're welcome any time.

Taylor: Well thanks for inviting me! I'll do that.

Richie: I don't think Zoe would mind if you just turn up one Tuesday morning. And of course this year is your 30th birthday year, so I hope you have a fabulous 30th. I hope you've got a special party planned?

Taylor: I haven't started planning. I don't even know what I'm gonna be doing in December but I think that's—like,the Cats movie is coming out so I have no idea—which I'm in. I didn't explain that at all, but I should have a party this year, shouldn't I?

Richie: You should. I had a karaoke and I did Spice Girls tracks for all my friends and family. They weren't very thrilled about it, but I mean, that's an idea. I don't know if it's an American thing to get really drunk and sing in front of your family?

Taylor: I think that's an amazing idea. Like, I might steal that idea completely because that sounds like the best.

Richie: You know what, you can have that one, Taylor. Thank you so much and don't forget Taylor's brand new single and video for ME! is out now. Taylor Swift, you are absolutely lovely. Thank you so much, my darling.

Taylor: Thank you! Great to talk to you.

Richie: Lovely to speak to you too.

Taylor: Bye!

Richie: Bye!