#i signed up for a careers fair that i was really excited about because the timing seemed great

[fingertipsmp3]

I love finding out my past self did something really nice for me that I forgot about

[mamirhodessxox]

Daddy Dearest <3

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Girl dad!Leon x Mom!Reader

Blue for Leon pink for reader & purple for D/N

Desc: Despite his career path Leon has been developing pretty well to his girl dad life & revolves entirely around world around his wife & sweet little angel babygirl

Tags: Tooth Aching fluff, Dilf Leon, No smut ‼️‼️‼️, Just dad Leon living his dream! No use of y/n, D/n stands for Daughters Name

I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated!!!

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Leon Loving his life was an understatement, He was a miserable guy not so long ago but it all changed once he met you & had his very first child! Of course after first he was worried about being a deadbeat father, but eventually he suited up and prepared for everything was to come, dropped his drinking habits, went to therapy for most of his trauma from working on the most messed up cases world wide known to mankind & even baby proofing the entire house you two shared for over 4 years.

He even went out of his way to take random target trips with you during your pregnancy to stare at nursery furniture and random trinkets and toys he found, holding up gender neutral baby clothing before knowing the gender & asking “you think this is cute sweetheart?” It was amazing how he became so obsessed with the thought of having his own little family with a white piket fence & beautiful front lawn garden (He started gardening as a coping mechanism which would soon be one of his top hobbies he brought onto his daughter.)

During the gender reveal he was nothing but pure excitement and joy to have a little baby girl that the next day he even went back to target and came home to baby-proof the entire house, testing objects to see if they would fall on a random baby doll etc, so much so that you had to go downstairs at 12 am and force him to take a break and come to bed, “You don’t think she’ll hit her head on the table one day right? I really wouldn’t want my little princess to get hurt” “I think you need to put down the baby proofing tools for the night & actually come to bed hun, it’s almost 1 o’clock”

Some days you would be in pure anguish because D/N would be doing pure gymnastics in your belly that Leon had to ‘have a talk’ but most of the time during your pregnancy he was always talking to your tummy, Asking her to relax on the jumping around in there, Sometimes waking up super early in the morning to talk to your belly & sometimes waking you up & hearing you tell him off a little bit in a muffled voice since you were buried in your body pillow. “Hi babygirl, you excited to get outta there & see your new room? Yeah? Oh I know your excited angel but you can’t keep kicking mama like this sweetheart it hurts her!”, “Can’t keep jumpin’ around in mommy’s belly sweetness your driving her insane sweetheart” “oh yeah!?You excited babydoll?” “Good morning my sweet girl, I can’t wait to see you y’know, mommy & I are so excited to meet you & hold you & love yo-“ “Leon what the hell are you doing awake at 5:30??” “Uh oh I woke up mom” “leon I swear to god if you don’t go back to sleep.”

And then came along the arrival of his awaited babygirl, he was so excited he even set up a little mini red carpet infront of her nursery & stars next to the door & even putting a little sign on your guys’ front door in bold glittery pink ‘Welcome Home Princess D/N” He even brought a little camera to make a home tape for every memory he makes with you & your daughter so when she is finally old enough she can watch, this tape includes her birthing where your shouting & screams could be heard such as “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT LEON!!” “I’M GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP!”& his light crying of when she was born

After your daughter was born it was extremely difficult for you two to set a fair sleep schedule so for the first few weeks Leon would wake up at 2:30 AM whenever D/N was crying on the baby monitor and move the rocking chair placed in her room right next to the crib “What’s the matter sweetness? Can’t sleep again? I know babygirl it must be so tough trying to get your little beauty sleep huh?” He would slip his hand through the little bars of the crib and smile giddily every time she would wrap her little hand around his thumb, growing up was the most difficult for him, he cried every-time his sweet angel took her first steps, said her first word which was obviously a strained “da-da” which was to be expected since D/N was a total daddy’s girl. most of the time when he was off he would let you go to work so he could spend his days with your guys’ daughter, take her to the petting zoo, a random aquarium where she discovered her favorite animal was a sea horse, Leon’s entire existence revolved around D/N to the point where if her little fist was directed at something she wanted he bought it, she starts crying? He jumps right up to take her off your hands so you can relax, his entire world was revolving around her & you loved to see it, sometimes when you got home from work you’d see Leon on the living room floor with your daughter as she babbled playing with a random stuffed animal monkey “Hi honey, Took her to the petting zoo today, we discovered she really loves monkeys”

Some mornings when you would all sit at the table eating before the day started Leon would watch her in her high chair chew on whatever she had in-front of her causing a small mess where he would chuckle & clean up after her “Your just one messy little girl huh princess? Gonna have to teach you manners now little lady.” And then came the day where she got her very first booboo, I’m sure you can imagine what happened, Little D/N was running around the backyard chasing a butterfly while you & Leon just finished harvesting this falls apples and then randomly you heard a tiny little wail behind you causing Leon to jump up from the ground and scoop up his baby girl “Baby she has a cut on her knee we need to take her to the hospital now! Get in the car!” “Honey I think she’s alright nothing a little rubbing alcohol & a band aid can’t fix.” When the two of you went inside and into the bathroom he sat on the edge of the bath tub and sat little D/N on his knee while you rubbed some alcohol on her knee which reasonably made her wail out more than she did beforehand causing Leon to start tearing up and kissing the top of her head “I know angel I know it hurts but we can’t let your lil’ booboo get worse & nasty now can we?” Once you finished that 1 minute of anguish you two sat in the living room holding her close as you slightly teased Leon for his light crying “You love making daddy cry now don’t you honey? You know you have him tied up around your little finger huh” You joked while Leon grunted while worryingly making sure she didn’t hurt herself again

One day you caught him in her room when she was around 4 years old having a little tea party, he was sat in a chair next to her that was far to tiny for him to fit in as he wore a pink tiara around his head that was again to tiny for him & a pink fluffy tutu around his waist while fake sipping tea from the tea cup while causing her to giggle, You had just gotten home from work & leaned against the doorway smiling and holding in a laugh but Leon smiled back and stood up and had the tiny chair stuck on his ass causing you & D/N to laugh obnoxiously especially after he eventually was able to pull it off and walk over to you mumbling “shut up.” Before kissing you lightly & asking how your day went. Obviously because of his career he had to miss some important events at school for D/N and he felt AWFUL. He cried in your arms one night after returning from a 1 week trip where he missed father daughter school day where he imagined his poor babygirl sitting at her table in kindergarten watching everyone else with their dad while she had a confused expression. And every single night after that for a month straight he would have little sleepovers in her room where he read her bedtime stories, you know that one 3 little kitties book from despicable me? He obviously read that to her with the brightest smile on his face and once it was time for bed her would sleep on the floor right next to her toddler bed “Goodnight babygirl, daddy loves you so so much y’know that? You got his heart right in your little fist”

By the time she was 10 he was always helping her with school projects & homework & even going to father daughter dances with her, if

D/N wanted something all she had to do was ask and bat her little lashes, some days when he went to go pick her up from school with you in the car he would see her talking to a boy before running off to the car leaving him with a puzzled face “who the hell is that little twerp near my daughter? She does know he is not good enough for her right?” “Nuh-uh Leon, Don’t start let her have friend alright?” “Sweetheart just look at the little shit! He’s practically blushing looking at her right now!” “Oh stop it.”

Just imagine what it would be like when D/N is finally a teenager and brings a boy home for the first time..Leon makes it VERY clear nobody is good enough for his little girl & never will be, he is the entire reason why her standards will be extremely high…

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

🏷️ List: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert

[toboldlygohome]

Hold Me Closer

Mark Watney X Reader

Chapter 1

Summary: You were looking forward to your month on Mars, but what happens when a month-long mission becomes indefinite? Will you and Mark make it back home, or were you doomed from the start?

Character(s): Mark Watney, Chris Beck, Melissa Lewis, Beth Johanssen, Alex Vogel, Rick Martinez

Warning(s): Cursing, Injuries

You stared out the window as you ate, watching the endless expanse of darkness spin around the ship. A week from now, you would be on Mars, conducting geological surveys and testing core samples. You were a chemist first and foremost, but you were also sort of a jack of all trades aboard the Hermes. You could fix things, run telemetry, conduct space walks, keep the plants alive, identify minerals, and of course you had a fair bit of medical training. It was because of your proficiency for all things scientific that you landed yourself a spot in Ares 3.

The excitement practically radiated off of you. You were so stoked, you couldn't even eat the food in front of you. So much to see, so many samples to run! You hoped there would be signs of past water in Acidalia Planitia!

"You know Y/L/N, the food is supposed to go into your mouth." Beck strolled in with his water bottle in hand. Evidently he was here for a refill.

"Thanks for the tip, doctor. I'll keep that in mind." You said before shoveling a spoonful of rehydrated ravioli into your maw.

"You looked lost in thought there, wanna share with the class?" He asked as the water reclaimer slowly filled his bottle.

"Just thinking about Mars," you shrugged.

"Ah, for a second there I thought you were thinking about your botanist," Chris smirked.

You stared daggers into his back. "My botanist?"

Beck grinned at you over his shoulder. "Well who else would you be thinking about? You've got such a wistful look in your eyes, I thought for sure your mind was on him."

"You really need to stop with the teasing Beck. It's a small ship, it'll get back to him eventually," you grumbled.

"Look, I just call it like I see it."

"Well, you're seeing wrong."

"You've been more and more distracted lately, there's no way it's only because of Mars," Beck chuckled. Dammit. You hated when he was right. You did like Mark, but let's be honest here. Who wouldn't like Mark? He was funny, smart, and he looked way too good in his grey flight suit. Completely unfair.

"God, you can be so annoying," you laughed.

"Only because I'm right."

"Mark and I are just friends, that's all we're ever going to be. Even if we didn't work together, and for the government no less, there's no way he'd ever go for the likes of me."

"What makes you say that?" Beck tilted his head curiously.

"Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Dude, he's like the second most attractive person on this ship!"

"Second?!"

"Objectively speaking, Johanssen is the first. Her posters sold out like hot cakes!"

"I know Johanssen is first! I meant, how is he second? What about me?"

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Who's the one who got the super sexy Under Armor ad again?"

"... Y/N? How many times have you watched that ad?" Beck laughed.

"Shut up."

"It must have been a lot for it to be this fresh in your mind."

"Don't you have a computer nerd to go flirt with?"

"Don't you have a botanist to ogle?"

You groaned and pushed your food away, but Beck scooted it right back. "Fine, fine. No more teasing for today," he laughed. "Just make sure you finish your food, it's important that you eat well."

"What if I'm not hungry?" you asked.

"Eat anyway, doctor's orders," Beck sassed as he left the dining area with his water.

You snickered and poked at your ravioli. If only you could just follow your heart like Beck. He was set on Beth and nobody was going to keep him from her. You just hoped he'd wait until after the mission to make it official for the sake of his career.

Of course you wanted to date Mark. Beck wasn't wrong on that front, but relationships are strictly prohibited among crew-mates. Maybe if you didn't work together, you might have worked up the courage. Probably not, but it would have at least been an option.

You slowly ate the rest of your cold meal and tried to think about anything else. Anything but the plant-loving engineer who had a choke-hold on your heart.

~~~

Mark groaned and climbed out of his bunk. It had to be at least two in the morning... at least according to the Kennedy Space Center. Jeez, he was starving. Luckily their food reserves came with snacks for just such an occasion! He exited his quarters and looked toward the room beside his. The door was open, which was quite a surprise. You were normally asleep by now, and Martinez was keeping an eye on the telemetry tonight. What were you doing awake?

Watney made his way to the dining area and took a look at all of his options. Hmmmm... trail mix it is. He grabbed a bag and took the ladder to the zero g portion of the ship. Everything was quiet except for the hum of the ship and Rick clicking his pen in the cockpit. He decided not to bother the pilot and instead went in search of his favorite crew-mate.

He found you floating in the cupola with your earbuds in. You watched as Mars inched ever closer, calling you to its surface. Mark couldn't resist the urge. He grinned mischievously and grabbed your ankle, causing you to yelp in surprise.

Mark laughed as you smacked him on the shoulder half-heartedly, "Mark! you scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry, sorry!" he floated up and settled beside you. "I saw an opportunity and I had to take it."

"Jerk," you laughed and returned your focus to the lonely red planet.

"What are you doing up?" Mark asked.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I was hungry," he caught a floating peanut in his mouth and looked at you as he ate. "And you?"

"I couldn't sleep. I'm too excited," you admitted with a smile. "Ever since I was little, I wanted to go to Mars... I can't believe it's actually happening."

Mark smiled gently and watched as your eyes sparkled with adventure. That was one of the things he loved most about you. He loved seeing you light up when you learn something new or complete something for the first time. And for the few instances you failed, he loved watching you gear up to try it again. Nothing could shake you when you had your mind set on something. (He wished you had your mind set on him...)

This was a lifelong dream of yours, something you'd thought about, planned for, and fought tooth and nail to achieve. Now here you were, watching all of the pieces fall into place. Mark felt so lucky he got to be on this mission with you, that he'd get to see every moment of excitement, every vivid dream become a reality.

"What are you listening to?" he grabbed your earbud and stuck it in his ear. He grinned.

Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway. Lay me down in sheets of linen, you had a busy day today.

You scooted closer to Mark so he could listen with you, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder to keep you steady. Oh what Watney would give to stay with you like this. Floating softly, slowly, taking in the view. He offered you his bag of trail mix with a cheeky smile. You laughed lightly and grabbed a bite. Fuck. He loved your laugh. He would listen to it on repeat if he could.

"Hold me closer tiny dancer," He mumbled along with the song as the chorus kicked back up.

"Count the headlights on the highway," you whispered back.

~~~

Finally.

Mars was so close, you could almost touch it! And here in a few hours, you would be~

You suited up for your ride in the MDV and helped Martinez and Johanssen with the pre-flight checks. Mark and Beck were loading the descent vehicle with everyone's personal items and Vogel was making sure all of the Hermes experiments were on autopilot. Commander Lewis oversaw the whole operation and kept in contact with Mission Control about the progress being made.

Once all the checks had been made and all the cargo had been loaded, everyone piled into the MDV and prepared for descent.

You took a deep breath as you checked the on-board navigation. You were really going to make it! You were going to walk on Mars! You checked, double checked, even triple checked your numbers before giving Lewis a thumbs up.

"We are go for separation," she told Martinez.

"At your command," Martinez said, poised to initiate the separation.

"Launch," Lewis said.

Your heart rate increased as the MDV shuttered out of the docking port. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my GOD!

"Approaching ten meters from Hermes," Johanssen said.

"Engine power readings are nominal. Ship internal pressure is stable." You said, unable to keep the excited quiver from your voice. The cabin was quiet for a few minutes. The tension could be cut with a knife. It wasn't a bad kind of tension. It was exciting, like teetering at the top of the world's tallest roller coaster.

"Approaching two kilometers from Hermes. Go for engine start up," Beth said.

"Martinez, go for engine burn," Lewis said.

You squeezed the arms of your seat and closed your eyes. This was the hardest part for you. You'd worked in the International Space Station before and reentry was your downfall. What was worse about entering Mars was that there was no water to break your fall if you crashed.

You felt a gentle pressure on your hand and looked up to find Mark already watching you with a smile on his face. He squeezed your hand as the MDV inched closer and closer to Mars.

"Hanging in there?" he chuckled.

"By a thread," you joked.

"You got this, tiny dancer," Mark winked.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. You both listened as Lewis and Martinez went back and forth calling out each action they performed. Mars completely filled the window.

You held onto Mark a little tighter.

~~~

The actual mission started off promising enough. The landing was good, setting up the Hab was a breeze, and life support was running at maximum efficiency. Unfortunately, life seemed to have this obsession with throwing you curve balls.

You scowled as you watched the screen while the storm outside raged on like an angry god.

"Jesus, we're gonna end up in Oz," Watney said. "What's the abort speed?"

"Technically one fifty kph. Any more than that and the MAV's in danger of tipping." Martinez said.

"Any predictions on the storm track?" Lewis asked.

"This is the edge of it. It's gonna get worse before it gets better," Johanssen replied.

"All right, prep for abort. We'll go to the MAV and hope for the best. If the wind gets too high, we'll launch."

If only that were the end of your misfortune. You literally had the audacity to think: 'How could this get any worse?' You got your answer when Mark was struck by a piece of flying debris. His vitals were offline, his suit depressurized on impact. He was likely dead, but still you were searching for him. The only trouble with that was you couldn't see two feet in front of you. The dust was thick and the wind was threatening your stability.

"WATNEY!" You called out, hoping the urgency in your voice would stir your friend from his incapacitation. "Watney, please respond."

"Y/L/N, I need you to get back to the MAV," Lewis ordered.

"But he could still be-"

"This isn't up for discussion. MAV. Now."

"I'm not leaving him behind. I know if it were any of us, he wouldn't give up. Not when there's still hope we could be alive."

"He's dead Y/L/N. W-we need to go, please," Beck pleaded.

You closed your eyes and forced down a cry. You didn't want it to be true, but Beck was right. Of course he was right. You were in denial... Still, you couldn't do it. If he was dead, you needed to see it for yourself. What if the numbers were wrong? What if-

You were struck with a sudden, blinding pain.

"Y/N!!" Lewis cried.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went dark.

~~~

Mark awoke with a gasp to the sound of beeping in his helmet.

"Oxygen level critical." A robotic voice said, causing him to pant heavily. His abdomen really fucking hurt. It took all his willpower to sit up. When he looked down, he found the source of his pain. The antenna for the com dish had turned him into a human shish kabob! He let out a cry as he tried to keep the antenna steady. Every movement sent a shock through his tired body.

Watney paused when he heard static in his helmet.

"Wa---y... W---ey c--- -n. Watney, If yo--- the-- please respond!"

"Y-Y/N?" Mark winced.

"Watney! Oh my god!" You sounded on the verge of tears. "I thought you were dead! I've been trying to call you for hours!" You sniffed and leveled your voice as much as you could. He could tell you were still coming down from your emotions. "What's your status?"

He groaned and pressed his head against the sand bank. "I've been impaled. Small puncture. Feel like shit," he said through heavy panting.

"Can you make it back to the Hab?" You asked.

"Yeah, I'll make it. I don't think it's deep enough to kill me." He stood up and immediately screamed.

"Mark! Are you okay? What happened?!"

"Antenna is still attached to the dish," he said through gritted teeth. He made quick work of the wire and struggled to his feet. "W-where are you? What's your status?"

"I'm trapped under the MDV. It plowed through me when I was looking for you. I'm not sure you can get me out in your condition."

Mark looked around and found the partially-mangled MDV a short distance away. Watney clutched his side and hobbled over, fearing the worst. He choked when he saw you. You were being crushed from the waist down by a fucking space ship. "O-oh my-"

"It's not as bad as it looks. I landed in some really soft sand. I managed to dig myself out from underneath, but I hit something solid and now I'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. The sand shifted under the MDV and now my chest hurts, but I can still feel my legs," you sighed and closed your eyes. "You need to get back to the Hab, Mark-"

"I'm not going to leave you." He grunted as he stepped closer. "If I lift this thing, can you pull yourself out?"

"Mark that's-"

"Can you?"

You grimaced and nodded, "Yes."

Mark nodded back and racked his adrenaline fueled brain for an idea of how to get you out. Still panting, he grabbed a metal bar from the ground and shoved it under the MDV. "On three," he said.

"One."

"Two."

Three."

He shoved the bar down and the ship eased up just enough for you to drag yourself out. You screamed as a searing, blinding pain ripped through your ribs. Mark felt his stomach drop at the sound.

He reached for you, but you pushed yourself into an unsteady standing position. "Fuck," you bit out and stumbled forward. "M-Mark" You inspected his wound. "Come on, we have to get this treated right now." You wrapped a supportive arm around his back and helped him shuffle back to the Hab.

His panting and gasps had only grown more pained as he stepped into the empty habitation. What little adrenaline he had left was wearing off. You rushed out of your suit as quickly as possible and helped Mark undress.

"Do you want to pull it out, or do you want me to do it?" you asked with as much calm as you could muster.

"I'll do it," he bit out. After a series of short, shallow breaths, he ripped the antenna out with a gut wrenching scream. You didn't have time to feel distraught as you shoved down his suit. He placed his hand on the wound. "There's something in it," he managed.

"Sit down," you ushered him to a chair and slid on some gloves. You made quick work in cutting away his shirt, administered a series of injections for pain and infection, and grabbed the retractor and forceps. "I'm sorry Mark, there isn't time to wait for the medicine," You didn't hesitate to insert the retractor and open the wound. He tossed his head back and blew out a long, shaky sigh. You bit the inside of your cheek and grabbed the object with the forceps. Carefully, you pulled it out and sat it in a dish. Mark groaned deeply. He was so pale and sweaty. You wanted to reach out and hold him, but you had a job to finish.

With the hard part done, you were able to relax and clean him up. The stitches were the final step. By then, the medicine was kicking in and Mark's strangled cries slowly turned into steady breathing. You leaned back in your chair and relished in the sound before standing up. You felt around your ribs for a moment and huffed before grabbing Mark some juice.

"Thank you..." He said, taking the bottle with shaking hands.

"You're welcome," you sighed and carded your fingers through his damp hair.

"Are you okay?" He rasped.

"I'm fine, just a couple broken ribs on the right side. I'll live." You gave him a tight smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just ran a marathon," he chuckled, then winced.

"We should get you to bed-"

"Not yet," He shifted awkwardly in his seat. "There's an elephant in the room..."

"Ah," you sighed and sat down across from him, pushing away the pain in your ribs.

"What are we gonna do?" Mark murmured.

"Our odds aren't the best, but we'll make it work," you reassured him though you weren't sure it was the truth.

He closed his eyes and blew out a sigh. "You should be safe on the Hermes..." He swallowed. There were many stupid nights he wished you and him were the only two people in the world. Now he was beginning to realize how selfish that was. You were trapped on Mars because of him. If he hadn't have stopped to suggest the stupid rover plan, none of this would have happened.

"You should be too," you pressed a hand to his knee, sending a trail of goosebumps up his leg. Even now, you had him entranced with a single touch. "We should both be on our way home right now, instead we're here. But we're trained for this... We'll make it back, we're just gonna be fashionably late is all," you gave his knee a squeeze and pulled back.

"Can I see it?" he asked.

"See what?"

"Your ribs."

You opened your mouth to disagree, but decided a second pair of eyes on it might be for the best. You slowly lifted your shirt. Mark paled again as his eyes fell on your ruined abdomen. The whole thing was covered in splotches of purple and blue. Your back wasn't much better and he was sure your chest had received similar treatment.

His fingers ghosted over the bruises. "Shit," he whispered.

"It'll buff out," you lowered the hem of your shirt.

Watney closed his eyes and wished that this was all a nightmare, but upon opening them again, all he saw was you. You looked exhausted. No, exhausted was an understatement. There wasn't a word in the English dictionary that could describe your expression. You were devastated and trying to hide it. And why wouldn't you be? You had an endless supply of family and friends expecting you home. He only really had his parents to worry about. You had your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, all your university and work friends... It should have been him and only him. You didn't deserve to be trapped here, least of all with the lowest ranking crew-mate on Ares 3.

"So, we're in a Hab designed to last 31 days..." You thought out loud. He could tell by that look on your face that you were puzzling through something.

"If the oxygenator breaks down, we're gonna suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks, we die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, we'll explode. And if none of that happens, we starve to death." Watney said, giving in to the hopelessness of it all.

"If the oxygenator breaks, we have the spare. It's built to last 5 days for seven people. With only two of us, that will be... 30 days. More than enough time to fix the oxygenator." You thought out loud.

Ah, now he saw what you were up to. "If the water reclaimer breaks, we build a piss distillery while we fix it..." Mark corrected his earlier statement.

"We'll do bi-weekly checks on the Hab canvas to look for tears." You leaned back. "But you're right. Food is our biggest problem. We're gonna be a couple of hungry, hungry astronauts in a few months."

Mark laughed and shook his head. "Looks like we're gonna have to science the shit out of this..." He looked at you and was pleased to find you smiling back at him. "But that sounds like tomorrow-Watney's problem."

"For sure," you snickered. "There is no way I'm doing all that math tonight."

His heart fluttered as he watched the grin spread over your lips. Your enticingly soft looking lips... What is wrong with you Watney? Stop thinking about that! JEEZ... Creep... Anyway, just a moment ago, Mark was ready to give up. Now he had a little more hope that everything would turn out fine. Today fucking sucked, but tomorrow was a new day. Things are only hopeless when you give in to fear, and it was clear you had no intention of giving in.

"Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"You should run for President when we make it back."

"What?" You laughed and clutched at the spot above your broken ribs.

"I'm just sayin' I'd vote for you," he shrugged in a playful manner.

You sighed, "what am I gonna do with you, Watney?"

"Make me your Vice President?"

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'll settle for Secretary of Agriculture."

"How about the Secretary of Homeland Security?" You smirked.

"But that's the bottom of the line of succession," Mark grunted as he sat up.

"Exactly," you laughed before groaning and cradling your side again.

"Alright, that's enough for today," he pushed himself into a standing position. "No more laughing for... how long does it usually take for broken ribs to heal?"

"Like, six weeks."

"I knew that," he smiled and helped you stand up. "No more laughing for six weeks."

"What you're asking for is impossible," you winced. "You always make me laugh. It's why you're my best friend."

"I'm your best friend?" Mark asked, unable to hide his surprise at the admission. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around your back, worried about making the pain worse in his attempt to help you.

You huffed and leaned into him, "don't let it go to your head, Watney."

"Too late," Mark smiled and led you slowly to your bunk. It wasn't easy for either of you to maneuver with your injuries, but eventually you managed to get settled.

"Comfy?" Watney asked.

"That's a relative term," your eyes softened at him, causing the botanist to go all weak in the knees. What a mess he had gotten himself into... "Are you sure you don't need help getting into bed?"

"You took good care of me Y/L/N, It doesn't hurt so much anymore thanks to you... Maybe if the President thing doesn't work out, you could be a doctor," He leaned his bare shoulder against the ladder.

Your eyes trailed down his chest to the bandages keeping the stitches from view. Your eyes started to burn, but you pushed it down and looked up to the bunk above you. "And take Beck's job? As if~"

Mark could almost believe things were normal. That they weren't all alone in a desolate wasteland. You were an anchor. He wasn't sure what he'd do if you weren't here. Would he have the strength to try? This would have broken most normal people... was he one of them? Or was he like you? Brave, selfless, and full of resolve to keep going. His chest hurt. You had gone looking for him... and now you were here. It was his turn to be your anchor.

You felt his eyes on you, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet them. You felt pathetic. Once again, Watney had to pick you up when you were down. For as long as you'd known him, Mark had been your helping hand. He had a sixth sense about these things. The moment things go wrong, he's there to dig you out of the rubble. You closed your eyes and remembered being in orbit. You remembered how he covered your hand with his and made everything okay again. You couldn't keep relying on him like this. It was your turn to be his helping hand.

"Somebody's sleepy~" Mark cut through the silence.

"It's been a day," you sighed and dragged your eyes to meet his.

"A sol," he corrected.

"Smartass," you fought the urge to chuckle. "Go to bed, before I get up and make you..."

"Don't need to tell me twice," He raised his hands in defeat. Mark moved to leave, but paused and grabbed your hand. "Hey Y/N?"

"Y-yeah?"

He gave your hand the gentlest of squeezes, "you're my best friend too..."

You glowed as the smile reached your eyes.

"Don't let it go to your head," he winked.

"Too late."

You held onto Mark a little tighter.

....................

Taglist: @jolovesfandoms

If you would like to be added to my taglist, feel free to reach out!

Thank you for reading!

[uramilf]

hi love can I request some angst with a happy ending. singer y/n and matty being official but y/n is having some trouble with her reputation lately (inspired by the whole taylor & kanye beef) so she tries to breakup with matty in order to protect him and not drag him anymore (saying he deserves better or something like that) so she booked a flight and goes back to her hometown but then our sweet lover boy matty chases her then one day he knocks at her door and they talk it out ;* I really need some angsty happy ending rn thank you my love!

A/N: Okay I loved this is I decided to turn it into a proper oneshot, thank you anon!! Fair warning: I'm not fully sure what happened between Taylor and Kanye but I know he accused her of not deserving an award so that's what I went with in this fic! Sorry if that wasn't what you meant!!

Warnings: angst, swearing, very sad shenanigans ensue

Reputation

"Y/n Y/l/n is currently in some hot water with pop music fans as she is accused of robbing other artists of Artist of the Year award. Y/l/n may have won multiple awards this year, but did she really deserve them?"

"Music sensation Y/n Y/l/n is a talented artist, fans agree, but it looks like her time in the industry could be limited as other artists express their upset at her recent win - could her rockstar boyfriend Matty Healy be the real reason for her success?"

"Brit award and Grammy holder Y/m Y/l/n slammed for her recent success this award season as she is called 'undeserving and untalented'. Her boyfriend, frontman of the global phenomenon The 1975, is yet to speak on the issue after being accused of helping her to acquire her fanbase."

You shut your laptop with a slam before you could delve any deeper into the comments being made about you online. You had been ecstatic with your recent win, and as Matty had also won an award the same night, you two felt invincible. That was until you began to be talked about negatively following your win, and you started to doubt how deserving of it you were. You started to believe what was being said about you online. That out of the hugely talented list of nominees, you were the least exciting. You started asking yourself if the only reason your fanbase had expanded was because of Matty. You wondered if you would lose fans in the event of a breakup.

It only took a few hours for the tabloids to bring Matty into the situation. They accused him of writing all your songs for you. Of course you had collaborated with him in the past, but you had credited him as a co-writer. The rest of your discography was your own. Matty was accused of begging Jamie to sign you at Dirty Hit, but of course you had been signed due to your musical talent and songwriting ability. In fact, you hadn't even known Matty before you were publicly represented by the label. Nevertheless, you could see you boyfriend beginning to be dragged down by the accusations made against you. You knew you couldn't let it happen. He had built such a successful music career for himself, and you couldn't be the reason he lost respect in the industry. It was going to hurt, but you knew what you had to do.

-----------------------

You had booked yourself on the first flight back to your hometown and told your parents you were coming to stay. Your stuff was packed up in boxes, ready to be transported back home, while your essentials were in a suitcase by the door. You sat anxiously on the sofa waiting for Matty to arrive home from the studio. When he did, you could hear him ranting from the second he opened the door. "Babe! Have you seen what those fuckers at The Sun have said now? This is bullshit!" He didn't get much further before spotting your suitcase. "What's this? What are you -" "Matty, I'm sorry?" "What are you talking about? Tell me what's going on!" "I never wanted you to be dragged into this. My reputation is ruined. It's only a matter of time before the label drops me." "That's bullshit babe, and you know it! Jamie loves you like family, he's gonna get you through this." Matty took your hand. "Please don't listen to what the press is saying, babe. You deserved those awards. And you have never lied about writing your own music. Now will you please tell me what's happening?" "I'm leaving, Matty. I'm going home." "That's ok baby, you just need a break. How long will you be gone?" You just shook your head at him, a tear falling down you face. You couldn't say it. "Darling, please, what are you saying?" "We need to break up, Matty. I need to protect you from this. You deserve so much more than me. More than the person who's ruining your image over a stupid fucking award."

Matty's face fell immediately. His eyes filled with tears and you could barely look at him knowing the hurt you had caused him. "I'm sorry," you whispered, and turned to leave. "No. Absolutely not." Matty caught you hand and pulled you to him. "You can't leave, not after everything we've been through. I love you. I need you." "I love you too, Matty. More than anything in the world. That's why I have to go. You love your music, and I can't let you be dragged down by my reputation anymore. We can't be together. We just can't."

--------------------------

As you lay in bed in your rented apartment near your hometown, your mind wandered to the look on Matty's face when you walked out on him three months earlier. He cried when you left, you could hear him sobbing behind you as you walked out the door. You had seen him cry before, but never like that, and it scared you. Maybe that's why you were so quick to leave. You didn't want to see the damage you had caused.

The comments online and the seemingly never-ending news articles had died down, of course. Not even a week later, some actor you had never heard of said something problematic and you were left alone. As for the public, they began to see sense and you had received hundred of comments on your social media saying things along the lines of "We support you Y/n!" or "We all know you deserve every bit of success." It was encouraging, but you felt you weren't ready to return to the studio yet. More than that, you weren't ready to return to the label and potentially face Matty.

It must have been one in the morning when you were awakened by frantic knocking on your door. Startled, you jumped out of bed and ran to the door. You opened the door a crack, and your breath caught in your throat when you saw who it was. Matty Healy, with his curls tousled by the wind, tearstains on his cheeks and a tiredness in his eyes you had only seen when he returned from a tour. He must have gotten off a flight and come straight to you. You swung the door open and he tensed up when he saw the worried look on your face.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Is everyone ok?" "Everyone's fine, darling. Except me." "What? What happened?" "You. You happened. I can't be alone anymore love, I just can't. I need you back home with me." "Matty, you know I can't do that." "And why the hell not? All that stuff with the press cleared up after you left me." "And what if it starts back up again? I can't let you be dragged down by me again." Matty took your face in his hands. "Listen to me darling, please. I simply can't be away from you any longer. I have never loved someone like I love you. I don't care what those fuckers on the internet have to say about me. I would have my reputation ruined a thousand times for you. I would do anything for you, I would die for you. You know that. So why won't you come home and be with me?"

You couldn't stay away from him for a moment longer either. You threw yourself into his arms and started to cry into his chest, his fingers running through your hair to soothe you. He was whispering between pressing kisses to your head. You couldn't hear what he was saying, but it was comforting. Matty picked you up with ease and you threw your legs around his waist, still crying. He shut the door behind him and walked you over to the sofa, where he stayed with you, holding you tightly in his arms until you had calmed down. "There, angel. You're ok." "I'm sorry, Matty. I didn't know I had upset you so much." "Of course you did, babe. How could you ever think I would be better off without you?" You almost started crying again, overcome with guilt, but Matty took you in his arms again. "Don't cry, sweet girl. It's ok, I'm not upset anymore. But I don't give a shit about what's being said about me online, as long as I have my best girl with me." He wiped away your tears and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, the first in months. "I wanted to go back, I really did," you assured Matty. "But I thought you would have forgotten about me and moved on. And I definitely thought you stopped loving me." Matty's heart sank at your small voice and he mentally kicked himself for not calling you more times after you moved away. He kissed your cheek reassuringly and brushed your hair behind your ear, before pulling your closer and speaking in a low tone into your ear.

"I could never forget you, angel. And I have never stopped loving you."

[notalkingbusiness]

The Billing Situation Continued: She's Earned Her Place

So, I talked about the billing situation the other day but I want to reiterate why billing matters and why unequal billing is so troubling. 

First things first, there is no way that the current billing arrangements were accidental. It's not an honest mistake. An honest mistake is leaving a plastic water bottle on the table during shooting (à la GoT).  People signed this billing off and lots of people will have reviewed the title credits before they were approved for Tribeca. Anyone who distributes materials to clients or consumers will know that things are checked and checked again before being sent out into the world.

The order of billing can't be an honest mistake because it's tied up with professional and commercial negotiations. Your position in the billing and credits matter because it's intrinsically linked with pay and your position within the cast.  Staggered but equal billing signals that you and your co-star are equals.  AMC have rightly opted for staggered but equal billing for the other TWDU shows - Cohan and Gurira deserve to be up there with their co-stars. Why won't they put McBride's name up there with Reedus'? Why break protocol?

There is no way in which you can positively spin this billing.  It will matter to Melissa because this billing means that she's getting paid less than she's worth, and this billing will impact future pay negotiations because she's starting from a much lower level than her co-star.  No professional is okay with accepting less pay and recognition than they deserve. There's a world of difference between being happy to accept something and *having* to accept something in order to keep your job.

AMC have a track record of treating their talent badly. Remember when Lauren Cohan left TWD over pay disparity? I've seen people talk about how Melissa was behaving at Tribeca - how she seemed happy. I wasn't at Tribeca, but I think it's worth bearing in mind that panels, cons etc. are work events. We all have to put on brave faces at work events. You can't say to a client or customer, "Actually, I'm being undervalued and I'm really unhappy about it." Not if you want to keep your job. The entertainment industry runs on contacts.  If you're labelled as "difficult" because you've advocated for fair pay and recognition, then it's potentially game over for your career. That's not to say that she's not excited about aspects of Carol's journey, but I don't see how any professional actress could be happy with the current billing situation.

Like I've said before, if something feels off about this billing that's because something is off.  The same way a lot people felt something was off when they saw the title for the show. Carol is Daryl's equal - that should be reflected in the title. Melissa is Norman's equal - that should be reflected in the billing. Melissa McBride has earned her place.

If the idea of Melissa being treated as an unequal partner bothers you, please make some noise about it.  Here's hoping AMC come to their senses and do the right thing.

[scaryl3gs]

https://www.tumblr.com/scaryl3gs/757391631451389952/okay-i-take-back-everything-i-said-about-this?source=share

Okay not to play devil's advocate, but they cheered for Carlos joining which is different from cheering for Logan being replaced.

I am sad for Logan, but i am not going to act like Carlos isn't a better driver than him.

Logan was unlucky in his career, and that's unfortunate. But let's not turn things around and change words.

If I say i like sweets I am not saying I hate salty food

I just saw this ask, and I think I'm starting to realize that people may be taking my "take" on the whole situation the wrong way. And to be fair, this is totally my fault! I've been semi-private about it (I haven't been actively posting about it, but I have liked others posts) so I think it's time to finally give my full opinion? Also, I'm sorry that this isn't really directly answering your ask, but it will definitely be included here!

I wanna preface this whole ask by saying that while I'm a Logan fan, I'm also a Williams fan at heart. I may hate Williams sometimes, but that doesn't change that I still want Williams to do well and one day be a more solid mid-field team (which I want to add they have been becoming.) I think it's also important to add that I've only really started watching a year or two ago, but I've always heard about F1 from my parents (specifically my dad). I'm pretty close with my Dad, and one thing we like doing together is watching sports, but for a long time I just wasn't old enough to stay up and watch some race happening at one AM in the morning, or during school hours. It was easier to watch baseball for me when I was younger, but now that I'm older I've been starting to watch some races with my Dad (who has always rooted for Williams.)

That being said, as a Williams fan, I'm ecstatic at Carlos signing. I don't think I've said this publicly, but I really do think he's a great addition to the team. I also have to admit that James is a great TP for Williams. He needed more funding during the beginning of the year--- we now see more sponsorships on the cars. He saw that Williams was backed up years--- he decided that it was time to get off the damn Microsoft word doc. So, I like James for what's he's doing for Williams, but I also think he needs to shut his mouth sometimes! Like dudes making the PR team work overtime.

I think the Carlos signing is a boot leg (?) Lewis to Ferrari situation, and I can talk about this a whole lot more, but I will leave it with this: I'm glad that if Logan's going to get replaced, it's with somehow with as much talent as Carlos.

Carlos is undeniably a great driver, and someone who can really push the team. He has more than four times Logan's experience in F1, and he's known for being great for a teams development (look at McLaren). He's good at giving feedback, and at this time, that's what Williams need. They need a driver who can give proper feedback to make the car better. I'm not saying that Alex or Logan are bad at this, but it would be stupid to look away at what Carlos is bringing. We also know that Carlos is good at making his own strategies which we see Williams constantly failing in.

I think it's also a good time to say that while I understand why people are freaking about Alex not being the number one driver, it's important to understand that Alex has only been the number one driver because he's been better than both his teammates (Logan and Latifi). Someone recently brought up a very good point which was that we haven't seen Alex against anyone actually competitive (as much as this hurts typing as a Logan fan...) and if Carlos does end up performing worse than Alex, then we'll know what Alex is actually capable of. Team dynamics change all the time, and it's unfortunately how it goes most of the time.

I think Carlos has proved himself to be a wonderful driver (though maybe not top two like James said), and I'm actually very excited to see such a strong line up for Williams next year, even if it's at the expense of Logan. I also think that we will see Williams improve drastically over the next few years, and that James is right that they're developing the right direction. Two strong drivers, a team ready to work, and a sponsor (Dorilton Capital) who is keen to help Williams build up to a top team again. Maybe this is delusional, but I do truly believe what James is saying about Williams. With the new regs in 2026 and that Mercedes engine I can see Williams doing very well in the coming years.

Now finally to your ask. To me, they were cheering at Carlos joining AND Logan being replaced for next year and they sound essentially like the same thing, but I'm open to you expanding on that idea? I do like your analogy, but I don't exactly understand what you mean by that? Maybe this is just me being dumb, but to me they seem to go hand in hand? Like I don't see how cheering for Carlos joining isn't them also cheering for Logan not being there next year? Like their actively cheering for his replacement? And I personally find that just as bad? I think it's one thing for it happen, and another for James to actually spread it around and then later post the video??? I remember James saying how they want to help Logan continue his career in racing, but posting a video about people cheering about his replacement definitely isn't helping that. It gives off the vibes of "we're finally getting someone better"--- which while essentially being what happened, I don't see why they had to show that to the world as well?

I also want to say that, I have never said Carlos was a bad driver (and I'm low-key kinda shocked you said that?), and I've never said that Logan is a particularly "good" one either. I know why he's being replaced, and that he hasn't been performing as much as the next person. I don't think I painted Carlos in a particularly negative way either? I don't think I'm twisting James' words either, but once again, I'm happy to hear what you take from what he said. Everyone reads texts differently, and I read it as what I said in my original post.

Anyways, thanks for the ask, and if you have any follow ups on anything I said, I'm happy to read them!

[ari-kari]

Where to start?

Both of these images were captured in the Knott’s Berry Farm Hotel, about 7 years apart. The first was taken the night before I left for college in LA; the second, the night before I moved out of LA to Wisconsin. More has happened in those seven years than I could possibly summarize in this post, and it’d be somewhat insane of me to try. So for now, I’ll focus on the girl on the left. Lord knows the one on the right has received her fair share of analysis 💀

She wasn’t technically “Ari” yet, first and foremost. That shift would happen at a later date. But from an outsider’s perspective, it was a time in her life where all signs were pointing upwards. She’d been scholarshipped into a well-known conservatory after a decorated academic and musical career. Her best friend would be staying in the dorms with her and tackling college at her side. As of yet, there’d been no deviation from the clear-cut, linear narrative she’d been following all her life, and damn if she wasn’t fully intending to keep it that way.

The cracks had already started to form by then, though. Her last year of high school had been the most demanding of her life - and unlike the other times, she hadn’t really bounced back afterward, not all the way. There was this lingering gloom that seemed to permeate everything, coloring her vision and making her loved ones feel like strangers. People kept asking her if she was excited for college, and she’d tell them she was “excited and nervous.” That was a lie. She felt nothing but dread for what was to come - like the best years of her life had already come and gone, and everything from this point out was just an epilogue.

She was right to be afraid. I can’t sugarcoat that. Just thinking about what was gonna happen to this kid in the years that followed chokes me up a little. But she was wrong about the most important things - namely, that life after high school was going to be little more than an epilogue. Because no matter how you slice it, one thing is certain; life had barely even started for her yet! The world was so much bigger, and brighter, and harder than she could’ve possibly imagined. And for all the pain she had coming, I don’t think she could’ve imagined how much joy she was capable of in the same breath.

Two days ago, I graduated full-time therapy - not with honors, per se, but with as much love and support as a single human can possibly receive. My therapist bawled like a baby during my ceremony while telling everyone how proud she was of me. The last time I’d made her cry, 6 months prior, she was filling out my suicide risk assessment form on my way to the hospital. We both agreed afterwards that the progression felt right.

I don’t know. I feel like I have more to say about this than I could possibly fit here, and I’ll probably have to save some of it for another post. But right now, in spite of the uncertainty that awaits me in my new home, I’m honestly just…content. I’m on a train heading cross-country through the American Southwest. I am dating one of the most beautiful and wonderful people I’ve ever met. And on top of all that, I have you! Followers and friends who’ve stuck with me through some pretty intense highs and lows, and allowed me to share my writing with the world for the first time in my life.

Thank you all for your kindness and enthusiastic support. And thank you for giving me a space to be my authentic self. I hadn’t felt like a real human being for a really long time when I first showed up here; that has changed, in no small part, because of you.

@laas-yahnir tagging bc I’m love you

[russilton]

Alright I’m listening to beyond the grid, my notes are going here if I have any:

- THIS WAS RECORDED RIGHT AFTER SINGAPORE?? bruh poor guy

- Shov calling George up to comfort him bruh I love shov he looks after his guys

- “Oh my god he’s hit the wall- then I hit the wall” is unintentionally a hilarious delivery

- Legit glad to hear this growth in George, he’s changed his mindset on how much he criticises himself and he’s sticking to that promise last year where he said he wanted to exist more outside of the track, find his passions and person away from the job.

-“He lets Lewis get away with it! but when it comes to me it’s like- [he has all these safety warnings] but I can’t wrap myself up in bubble wrap”

- don’t put baby in the corner he wants to do the extreme sports too

- [Toto can’t treat Lewis like his kid because Lewis was a household name before Toto joined the sport, but he signed me as a 16 year old I guess so it’s not paternal but-] it’s paternal George

- George really lives 200m from Toto and Susie oh my god child

- He did in fact say all three of them (Lewis, George, Toto) are learning to free dive, sometimes together because he finds it RELAXING

- George is learning to spend more time under water and not push it but Toto however keeps trying to go deeper and deeper

- BOX BREATHING! (it’s fantastic for panic attacks by the way, I fuckin love box breathing)

- “I can feel the car through my bottom” George drives with his ass confirmed (it was among other things but those aren’t as funny)

- he never felt not at home in the team in 22, since he’s been part of the family for years, it was more that the whole team was feeling unstable because of its new place not in a winning position

- “in 2021 max won the championship… or at least there was a battle” this man is trying so hard not to start an argument about 2021

- “at what age did it become a career and stop being fun” “probably when I was 11 years old..” oh so you’ve been experiencing the horrors for a decade that tracks

- without Toto’s funding George thinks he never would have touched F1, in his days you didn’t get picked up by F1 teams during karting, and without Toto funding his journey, George couldn’t have been able to continue beyond F4. That’s why he stressed so heavily his need to win that year or he might have lost it all.

- new baby is his brothers, his sister just has her husband and a dog lmao

- on imola and Valtteri: “I did give him a phonecall!… which he did not answer.. but we’ve never spoken about it” “is that because you never speak at all?” “No! No we’ve spoke all the time, around drivers parades and around the paddock” (they get on well now, it’s just considered part of the job, but George has learned from it, and how to accept sometimes going for more than the maximum only ends badly)

- Austin is George’s 100th Race

George ends the podcast monologuing about Lewis and how excited it was to be racing without max in Singapore

- George prefers Brazil to potentially winning Sakhir, because he wouldn’t have felt like he truly earned it, because he wouldn’t have put the work into the W11, and he wouldn’t have had lewis’ pressure

Tldr: he feels like he truly earned his Brazil win because he had to fight the Goat for it

- “Brazil it- it truly felt earned, for all of the hard work everyone had put in, for all of the hard work I had put in, the pressure that I was under from Lewis for the last fifteen laps of the race I think, because he is the greatest driver of all time, and you know every single weekend I go out, practice, Quali, race, you are direct compared to the greatest driver of all time, and having that sort of fair fight was extraordinarily rewarding for me and uh, and why it is an incredibly satisfying position for me to be in, and an incredibly privileged position for me to be in because not many drivers get that chance”

- “I don’t think I’ve ever been pushed as hard in my career as I have in these last year and a half (against Lewis) and that gives me the confidence I can do it”

- “I recon I’ve got a good 15 years left in me”

[nerdzzone]

Tiny Dancer

Summary: Following in her mother’s footsteps, Grace has her first big dance recital.

Part of the Back To You series

-----

June 2025

“Okay, so Grace has to be there in about an hour and a half,” Madeline reminded Chris as she flitted around the kitchen, collecting a few small snacks and a bottle of water to put in her bag. “She’ll need her hair in a bun, but if you can’t do it then just let me know and I can fix it before she goes on stage.”

It was at least the third time that Madeline had given him that information, but considering how stressed she was about the big recital, he chose not to point that out.

“I think I’ll be able to do it, I’ve been practicing all week.”

“I know,” Madeline flashed him a smile. “You’re probably better than me now, but if she’s nervous and won’t sit still then I can deal with it at the theatre.”

“Okay,” Chris nodded, but as she paused her hurried movements and lifted her arms to put her hair up and out of her way - a clear sign of her stress - he took advantage of her stillness to slip his arms around her waist. “How are you feeling?”

He felt her tension ease as she leaned into his embrace and let out the deep breath that it seemed like she’d been holding all morning.

“I’m good,” she assured him. “I’m excited, it’s just a lot to organize. I feel like my head is spinning.”

It was a fair assessment considering it was only the third time that she’d been in charge of organizing a recital - although she had doubts that it was something that would get easier over time - but it was also the first time she was doing it as not only the lead teacher, but as the mom of one of the dancers as well.

Despite a few delays because of the pandemic, Madeline managed to get the studio space she’d leased when she’d first moved home up and running by September of 2020. It wasn’t a seamless process due to the kinks in the supply chain and the added interruption of her pregnancy, but after running the first fall program herself, she’d called in reinforcements. 

Her friend, Heidi - who she’d been dancing with since she’d joined the American Ballet Theatre - had retired due to an injury just a couple of years before Madeline had and after taking the time to heal, she’d moved to Boston to teach. When Madeline had pitched the idea of her joining the little up and coming school that she’d started, Heidi had been immediately on board. She took over classes completely while Madeline was on her maternity leave and by the time she returned, interest was rapidly growing. They decided to split the classes and take on more students with Heidi in charge of the younger kids - between three and six - while Madeline took care of the older ones - six to nine – before they could ‘graduate’ and join a bigger company if they chose to continue their dancing careers.

They were still a relatively small company with only one class per age, but that still meant they had ten dances to coordinate for the recital including all the numbers with combined age groups and the perfectionist side to Madeline had her very stressed about making sure it all ran smoothly.

“It is a lot to organize,” Chris agreed. “But just remember what Ma said, even if you’re in charge it’s still supposed to be fun.”

“Oh, it’s definitely still fun,” Madeline smiled. “I just really want to make sure it all goes well.”

“I’m sure it will,” Chris insisted, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “And I’m really proud of you for putting it all together.”

He felt Madeline squeeze him a little tighter before she pulled back and looked up at him with a smile.

“Don’t say that yet, it might be a complete disaster.”

“I’m positive that it won’t be,” Chris chuckled. “You’re all gonna do great.”

“Let’s hope so.” Madeline let out a sigh as she glanced at her phone to check the time. Seeing that she was already running a bit late, she tossed it into her bag as she grabbed the bag off of the chair. “Okay, I’ll say goodbye to Gracie, but then I’ve gotta go. Let me know if you need anything, otherwise I’ll see you when you drop her off.”

Chris nodded and pulled her in for another soothing kiss before following her to the living room. Madeline quickly wrapped Grace in a hug as she murmured her goodbyes and Chris watched as Grace hurried to the window, waving until Madeline’s car had disappeared from view. However, once her mother was out of sight, Grace turned around and let the smile fall from her face as her eyebrows furrowed together.

“Daddy, I have a question.”

Biting back a smile at her suddenly serious expression, Chris nodded his head.

“Sure, Gracie, what’s up?”

“Will Mama be mad if I’m too scared to dance today?”

The question alone was upsetting for Chris, but the way her voice shook as she asked it wiped away any hints of his amusement.

“Of course not,” he assured her as he moved to squat down in front of her to get to her level. “Your Ma would never get mad about something like that.”

“But Mama loves dancing,” she reminded him. “And she’s never scared.”

“She does love to dance, but she does get scared sometimes too. She’s actually a little nervous about today too.”

Grace’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” Chris nodded, flashing her a smile. “Everyone gets a little scared sometimes. I used to get scared all the time before I did anything.”

“You did?”

“I did, but do you know who was always there to help me?” Chris waited for her to shake her head before he answered. “Your Ma was. Whenever I got scared, she knew just how to make me feel better.”

It was the truth and Chris hoped that knowledge would bring Grace some comfort. 

While Chris had prided himself on being Madeline’s protector when she got herself into more trouble than she could handle, she was always a fairly brave kid and Chris had to admit that in certain situations, he was not. Until he was about nine or ten, going anywhere without his family was practically torture for him. He hated school, he hated camp, he hated any activity that took him away from the comfort and safety of home, but despite their age difference and the fact that he was older - and should have been more emotionally stable - Madeline was always there to comfort him. 

One memory that popped into his head was of a time when his mom had tried to force him into summer camp. He’d cried and screamed and refused to go until she eventually took him home. He’d sulked in his room for most of the morning, but when Madeline and her mother came over that afternoon, she’d tracked him down and - despite being only four at the time - she’d given him her best attempt at a pep talk and loaned him her favourite stuffed animal to take with him the next day in the hopes it would give him as much comfort as it gave her.

While he’d appreciated the gesture, it hadn’t worked and he never made it to that camp, but he left that part out as he shared the anecdote with the nervous four year old in front of him.

“Oh,” Grace murmured as she mulled over his story. “That was nice.”

“It was,” Chris smiled. “So you don’t have to worry about your Ma being upset that you’re scared, but what’s making you so nervous?”

“Everything,” Grace sighed. “I don’t want there to be too much people there.”

“There probably will be a lot of people,” Chris admitted, feeling a wave of guilt that she’d clearly inherited his anxious nature. “But you can just look for me and Mama and Grandma, we’re the only people you need to focus on.”

“I just want it to be only all of you.”

“I know, but everyone’s families want to see them dance too.”

“But what if I do it wrong?”

“Then you just keep going,” Chris assured her. “You just have to do your best.”

“Okay…”

Her soft response and the worry still swimming in her eyes had Chris’ heart aching as he opened his arms to pull her into a hug.

“If you really don’t want to do it then you don’t have to, no one will be upset or disappointed if you’ve changed your mind.”

He felt her clinging to his shirt as she buried her face into his neck for comfort while she took a moment to debate her options before she spoke again.

“I think I wanna try.”

Chris felt a wave of relief at her decision as he knew that she would probably regret it if she didn’t and he squeezed her tight.

“I think that’s a good choice,” he agreed. “But you can change your mind at any time, okay? We can just take it one step at a time.”

“Okay,” Grace nodded. “Can you help me do my hair?”

“Sure,” Chris smiled. “Let’s go find your hairbrush.”

-

Grace is kinda freaking out, think you can give her a pep talk? We’re heading over now, be there soon.

By the time Madeline saw the text from Chris, she knew they would be arriving any minute and her concern had her rushing outside to meet them. She made it to the parking lot just as Chris was getting out of the car and he smiled at the sight of her.

“Hey,” she greeted him. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“I think so,” Chris nodded. “But she’s nervous. I think we’ve talked it through, but she was worried that you’d be mad if she was too scared to perform…”

“Me?”

The incredulity in her voice gave away her shock at that information and Chris rushed to assure her.

“She was just saying that she knows how much dancing means to you and she doesn’t want to disappoint you,” he elaborated. “But I told her about how you used to help me when I got nervous about stuff and we talked it out so I think she’s gonna be fine.”

“Okay,” Madeline sighed. “I’ll talk to her and make sure.”

Chris nodded and opened the back door of his car just in time for Grace to hop out. Her hair was in a perfect bun and she was already dressed in her little leotard and tutu and Madeline’s heart melted at the sight.

“Hi, baby,” she grinned. “You look great!”

“Thank you! Daddy did my hair!”

“Well, he did a great job!”

“Thanks, it only took four tries,” Chris chuckled. “But I should go pick up Grandma. I’ll be back for your show. Okay, Gracie?”

A look of worry briefly flickered across her little face, but Grace quickly wiped it away and nodded stoically at Chris. He smiled and squatted down to pull her in for a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead before getting back into his car, waiting for Madeline to lead Grace out of the parking lot before he drove away.

“So,” Madeline started as Grace slipped her little hand into hers. “Daddy told me that you’re feeling a little nervous.”

“Yeah,” Grace admitted, her voice so soft that Madeline almost didn’t hear her. “I just don’t like all the people.”

As they walked into the lobby of the theatre, Madeline led Grace over to a bench by the door where she sat down and lifted Grace to sit sideways on her lap.

“It is scary when there’s a lot of people watching,” Madeline agreed. “But can I tell you a secret?”

The lure of confidential information had Grace’s eyes widening as she leaned in and nodded enthusiastically.

“Most people won’t be watching you,” Madeline informed her. “Everyone’s moms and dads and families will just be paying attention to them so the only people who will be really watching you are me, Daddy and Grandma.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Grace smiled softly. “Do you get scared too?”

“All the time,” Madeline admitted. “I used to get nervous before every performance, but I just try to remember that everyone just wants to have fun. We have fun dancing and the audience have fun watching us, right?”

“But what if I mess it all up?”

“Then you just have to keep going. I remember one time that I messed up really bad and I was so embarrassed, but you know what happened?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Madeline shrugged. “No one even noticed because the people watching don’t really know how the dances are supposed to go. Daddy doesn’t know any of your moves, does he?”

“No,” Grace giggled at the thought. “Daddy doesn’t dance good at all!”

Madeline’s mind flashed to the many family dance parties they’d had where Chris would bust out his silliest dance moves just to make Grace laugh and let out a giggle of her own.

“Exactly! I bet most people who come today won’t be really good dancers like you and your class are so no one will know even if someone makes a mistake. You just have to keep your head up and keep going.”

Her assurances had Grace sitting up a little straighter and looking much more confident than she had when they’d walked in, but after she gave Madeline a firm nod and a confident ‘okay, Mama’, Madeline had one more thing she wanted to mention.

“But you know that no matter what, I’ll be proud of you, right?” She asked. “Even if you mess up or if you’re too scared to go on stage at all, I’ll always love you and I’d never be mad.”

Grace looked down at her hands, shrugging in a way that had Madeline’s heart sinking.

“I didn’t want you to be sad.”

“Listen to me, Gracie,” Madeline instructed, her voice firm so there was no room for any misunderstanding. “I’ll never be sad or disappointed because you’re scared about something. I’m so proud of you just for being here and trying to be brave, if you change your mind then that’s okay. Even if you wanted to quit dancing completely, I wouldn’t be mad.”

“I don’t!” Grace frantically shook her head. “I don’t wanna quit!”

“I know,” Madeline smiled. “I’m just making sure you know that I won’t be sad about whatever choice you make.”

“Okay,” Grace nodded, slipping her arm around Madeline’s neck and snuggling in close. “Love you, Mama.”

“I love you too, Gracie.” Madeline squeezed her in tight and took a minute to soak up the moment of calm amongst the busy day before she reluctantly helped her hop down from her lap. “I’ll take you to Heidi now, but if you need me at any time you just let her know, okay?”

Grace agreed as she slipped her hand back into Madeline’s and followed her down the hallway to the room where her class was getting ready.

-

Almost an hour later, Madeline was racing around the backstage area trying to make sure everyone had their shoes and hadn’t messed up their hair too much when one of the moms who had volunteered to help stopped her.

“Heidi wanted me to tell you that Grace will be on in five.”

“Okay,” Madeline smiled. “Thanks for letting me know.”

She felt a pang of guilt as she’d been hoping to get the chance to check in with Grace again, but she had no time to worry about it as she made sure no one was in desperate need of any help before slipping away to find Chris. Thanks to the perks of being the one in charge, she found him in the seats she’d reserved on the front row just as the applause went up for the dancers in the number before Grace’s class.

“She up next?” He murmured softly, not wanting to detract attention from the kids prancing off the stage. Madeline nodded and a smile slid onto his face. “How’s she doing?”

“I think she’s okay,” Madeline whispered back. “We talked before I took her to Heidi and I haven’t heard about any issues since.”

“Good.”

Madeline could see Chris’ shoulders drop as if that information soothed him, but as the shadows of the dancers filed onto the stage take their positions in the dim lighting she felt her own stomach turn with nerves. It truly didn’t matter to her - or any other person in the audience - if any of the girls made a mistake, but she knew how hard Grace could be on herself and she worried about how she would handle it if she did. 

Madeline adored her daughter, but there were times when she felt like they’d set her up to fail by passing on so many of their more difficult traits. She’d taken on her stubbornness, overly ambitious nature and inability to back down from a challenge, but also had Chris’ tendency to beat himself up and overthink himself into a world of doubt. They’d seen snippets of the traits in various ways through her life so far, but this was the first time they were seeing it collide into a heap of anxiety for her. She had the drive and desire to perform, but her self-doubt and the noise in her brain had clearly knocked her confidence. If anything did go wrong while she was on stage, Madeline knew it wouldn’t be easy to help her shake it off.

However, to her relief, it quickly became apparent that her worries were just as unfounded as Grace’s were.

Grace leapt and twirled around the stage with perfect precision and a passion that had her parents’ hearts swelling with pride. There was a look of focused determination on her face, but there was no sign of her earlier nerves and she completed the entire routine without missing a single mark. As they struck the final pose and the sound of applause returned, Madeline laughed as Chris jumped to his feet, letting out a cheer as he clapped so loud that the sound echoed around them. Madeline hopped up to join him just in time for Grace’s eyes to settle on them and her parents watched as a proud grin slid onto her face.

As much as she would have loved to stay and watch the rest of the show with Chris, Madeline hurried off as soon as Grace was exiting the stage to get one of her own classes ready to go on. She stayed in the wings for the rest of the performances - including Grace’s group number which she performed with the same ease as her first dance - but she was relieved when the final dancers left the stage and the show was over meaning she could just focus on being a mom again.

Wading through the crowds of other parents that had entered the backstage area to gather their dancers, Madeline hurried to find Grace and felt her heart swell when she saw her standing with Heidi.

“Grace!” She called out, catching her attention just in time for her to whisk her off the ground and into her arms. “You were amazing!”

“I did it, Mama,” Grace grinned as she wrapped her arms tightly around Madeline’s neck. “I didn’t get too scared or mess it all up!”

“I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!”

“She was a star,” Heidi agreed. “She warned me that she was feeling a little nervous, but we went through some calming breathing techniques and she persevered.”

“Thank you,” Madeline smiled at her friend before glancing back at Grace. “Should we go find Daddy?

Her question was met with a very enthusiastic nod and after quickly reassuring Heidi that she would be back soon to help with the clean up, Madeline hurried out of the theatre with Grace in her arms. As soon as they got out the door and Grace could see her other family members waiting by the parking lot, she wiggled until Madeline put her down.

“Daddy!” She cheered, bolting towards him. “Did you see me dance?”

“I did!” Chris smiled as he literally swept her off her feet, tossing her in the air before he settled her on his hip. ”You were so good!”

“Thanks,” she beamed proudly, but as her grandma stepped forward with a big bouquet in her arms, her eyes widened. “Are those for me?”

“They sure are!” Lisa smiled, holding them out for her take. Grace did so eagerly, whacking her dad in the face with the large arrangement as she thanked her grandma profusely. “You’re so welcome, honey. You’ve earned them, you did a great job!”

“She really did,” Madeline agreed as Grace was distracted by the flowers in her arms. “It’s a whole different kind of nerves watching her do it than it is being the one on stage.”

“Well, you had no need to worry,” Lisa assured her. “She clearly got your natural talent.”

Letting out a scoff of laughter, Madeline pulled a face at that claim.

“Most of my talent was not natural,” she reminded them. “I was the least coordinated dancer in my class when I started. Her ability to perform must come from the Evans side because she’s way better than I was at her age.”

“Maybe she just has better teachers,” Lisa pointed out. “It’s an amazing thing you’re doing here, building a little community of ballet that focuses on uplifting the kids above everything else.”

The compliment had Madeline swelling with pride more than any other congratulations she’d received that night. Her ultimate priority when she’d started the dance studio was to keep the environment positive. She was determined that there would be no pressure on any of the dancers, no unrealistically high expectations that set anyone up to fail and no using fear as motivation or insults disguised as well intentioned advice. She made sure that everyone was on the same page - including some of the more overbearing dance moms - and that the focus always stayed on having fun and enjoying ballet.

She knew that there were many people in the world who would think she was wasting her time - that her strategy wouldn’t enable the dancers to thrive in the way required to reach a higher level later on - but it was inspiring to see that she appeared to be right. It seemed that her teaching style was creating dancers who were more passionate and confident than the ones who were taught in a strict, almost abusive way and they were excelling just as much - if not more - than students from the schools she’d attended as a child and they had none of the emotional damage.

“Thank you,” she smiled at her mother-in-law. “Nothing is better than watching someone do what they love and really pour their heart into it, right? It just makes sense that empowering them is a better option.”

“Absolutely,” Lisa nodded. “And if anyone can prove that to the world, I know it’s you.”

Her assurance warmed Madeline’s heart as she knew that without the unfailing belief that Chris and his family seemed to have in her, she wouldn’t have been able to achieve even half of what she had. She was proud of what she’d accomplished, but she knew that she never would have been able to do it without their support and she shared that thought with Lisa just as Grace let out a yawn.

“I should probably get this little monster to bed…”

Chris’ observation was said with a chuckle, but it put a frown on Grace’s face.

“I’m not a monster,” she insisted. “I’m a ballerina!”

“Oh, of course, how could I forget?” Chris smiled. “Are you coming home with us, Maddie?”

“I’ve gotta stay for a bit and help tidy up backstage, but I won’t be too long.”

Chris nodded and took the flowers from Grace with the arm that wasn’t holding her before passing her over to Madeline to say goodnight. She squeezed her tight, murmuring more praise and congratulations as she moved towards the car and by the time she had her all strapped into her car seat, Grace was fighting desperately to keep her eyes open.

Placing a soft kiss on her head, she smiled at the sight before gently closing the door and turning to Chris.

“She’ll be fast asleep by the time you get home.”

“I’m not surprised,” Lisa chimed in. “She’s had an exciting night!”

“And all the nerves she had earlier probably didn’t help,” Chris pointed out. “It’s been an emotional day for her.”

“It has,” Madeline agreed, slipping her arms around Chris’ waist. “It’s been a long day for all of us, I think, but I should get back inside or we’ll be here all night.”

“You want me to stay and help? I’m sure Ma would take Grace home for us.”

Lisa voiced her agreement to that claim, but Madeline shook her head.

“There’s not a lot to do, we’ll be fine.”

Chris nodded and reluctantly let her slip out of his arms after stealing one quick kiss, waiting for her to make it safely back inside before he followed his mother to the car.

-

As Madeline pulled into their driveway almost two hours later, she felt the exhaustion hitting her full force. It had been a hectic, emotional day at the end of a long, busy week and now that it was all over, her body was screaming at her to take a break. Dragging herself from the car, motivated to move by the knowledge that her bed was only moments away, she made her way into the house and was surprised by the silence that greeted her.

She knew that Grace would have been in bed, but considering it was barely after nine o’clock, she’d expected to find Chris lounging in the living room with sports on the TV as he usually was on Saturday nights at home. However, the living room was dark - as was most of the house - so Madeline ventured down the hallway towards their bedroom and the sight that greeted her had a smile sliding onto her face.

Chris was laying on the bed, leaning against the headboard as he watched the muted TV on the wall with Dodger at his feet and a sleeping Grace tucked under his arm.

“Well, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes.”

Chris’ gaze snapped towards the doorway where she stood, relaxing when his eyes settled on her.

“Hi,” he flashed her a lazy smile. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Apparently neither did our fierce guard dog,” she teased as Dodger twitched his tail in acknowledgment. “Why’s the party in here?”

“Grace woke up when I was changing her into her pajamas and wanted to sleep in our bed,” Chris explained. “Then she didn’t want me to leave so I stuck around for a bit.”

“She’s hard to resist,” Madeline sympathized. “And she deserves a little comfort after her big day.”

Slipping off her shoes and moving towards their dresser, Madeline lifted the dress she was wearing over her head and dropped it in the laundry basket before grabbing one of Chris’ old t-shirts out of a drawer and pulling it on. As she turned back towards the bed, she saw Chris brushing Grace’s hair out of her face as he watched her sleep with a look of adoration on his face.

If she hadn’t been so exhausted and eager to join them in the comfort of their bed, she would have been loath to interrupt the moment, but her exhaustion took over as she crawled up to lay in the empty space next to Grace.

“She did so well today,” Chris murmured. “She was so nervous, but she pulled it off.”

“She really did,” Madeline nodded as she rested her head on her pillow. “I just can’t get over how big she looked on that stage. It feels like it was just two minutes since we were bringing her home from the hospital.”

Chris smiled fondly at the memory as he thought back to their first night with Grace when they’d spent most of the night in a similar position, watching her closely as they were both too paranoid to take their eyes off her for more than a minute.

“I was so terrified,” he admitted. “I just kept thinking ‘man, who thought we were qualified enough to look after an actual baby’.”

His words pulled a snort of laughter from Madeline, but she stifled it with her hand to stop the noise from disturbing the child sleeping between them.

“We were in way over our heads,” she agreed. “But I think we’re doing a pretty good job.”

“It’s easy when you’ve got such a great kid.”

Madeline let out a hum of agreement, but as Chris flicked his eyes away from Grace, he noticed that Madeline’s were already flickering shut. Knowing how hard she’d been working and how little she’d slept all week, he wasn’t at all surprised and stayed quiet until he was sure she’d drifted off to sleep before shifting the blanket that he’d draped over Grace to cover her too.

As he watched them sleep beside him, he felt his own eyes grow heavy as the adrenaline of the day caught up with him as well. He was used to watching one of his favourite people perform as he’d sat through countless ballet recitals for Madeline, but he hadn’t truly been prepared for how it would feel to see his daughter up on that stage. He’d heard before Grace was born that having a child was like watching your whole heart run around outside of your body and that was the only way he could think to describe how he’d felt as he watched her.

He was constantly blown away by just how much it was possible to love someone and he was immeasurably grateful for the opportunity to be her dad. Knowing that the days of her wanting to snuggle up in bed with them were limited, he flicked off the lamp beside the bed and let himself fade off to sleep as well as he soaked in the sounds of her soft, gentle snores.

-

Next

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[unitedbydevils]

Bizet's a red!

So, it wasn't a MASSIVE secret, given this photo with Grace Clinton...

...but it was still a surprise late window signing for the Manchester United Women of Tottenham & Norway forward Celin Bizet.

Part of me wonders if this is because she's bezzie mates with Grace and GC is the future of United ergo keep her happy. That said, it would be disrespectful to Celin to suggest she isn't at United on merit.

The Norwegian international got 4 goals and 1 assist in 20 appearances in last season's WSL, and is weirdly both highly rated AND under-rated a talent. Bizet is known for her direct wing play on that right side, versatility to play left, and the stamina/teamwork to drop back and support RB or to cover a RB overload - something that would benefit Jayde Riviere undoubtedly.

She joins an impressive list of signings so far, as detailed by Conner Roberts of the All For United podcast:

United triggered Bizet's release clause, believed to be around £60,000, and have signed a three-year deal with the wing forward.

Speaking to MUFC media, Celin said: "I'm very excited to take this next step in my career and sign for such a great club as Manchester United.

"I cannot wait to pull on the famous red shirt and create winning moments in front of these wonderful fans."

Not all fans are buzzing from this summer's excellent recruitment, which is fair given the issues with manager Marc Skinner and his "selection preferences" shall we say. Several midfielders, most recently Irene Guerrero, were criminally underused by Skinner and fans are right to be wary about getting giddy just yet. That said, Terland a top striker, Janssen a top CB, Clinton a top midfielder is back from loan, Awujo a promising DM, Bizet a hot prospect winger, Malard retained after her loan up front, Sandberg in to rotate with Gabby George so we're not relying on Hannah Blundell to cover out of position... we have done well across the board. The only spot you could argue we haven't acted on is GK, but really, should Phallon not be given a shot at the no1 spot? She should. She's good, and cost enough last summer.

Celin has already joined the United squad away in Marbella for the pre-season training camp (hence the airport photo with Grace) and hopefully we get more media insights from the club to gauge her thoughts on the move.

As I mentioned All For United earlier, you can check out their excellent rundown on what sort of wing forward United are getting in Celin Bizet.

[rwrbmovie]

RE: Red, White & Royal Blue

Quotes from interviews on #RWRBMovie about the book & film's story

This post will be updated as content is released

Click here for the other roundups

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Last updated: August 7

From Glamour

Says Galitzine, “We were all aware that we wanted to make one a classic rom-com but with a sort of new spin. Matthew's a very sensitive, very feeling person, and we obviously wanted to inject our movie with that kind of emotionality. He had a great balance in being able to facilitate both lightness and emotion within his work.”

Zakhar Perez tells Glamour he knew the movie “could be something special” as he read the book—a feeling that only amplified after seeing the script.

Galitzine continues, “It's a really heartwarming story. Not a lot of films like this are made, and I hope it's important for the LGBTQ+ community because there needs to be more films like this. I hope it resonates with everyone. I've been really touched to hear how widespread the book became and affected many people from many different backgrounds. I hope our movie can do the same because a lot of love went into it.”

From Entertainment Weekly

"I first read the book in early 2020 and I decided I wanted to make the movie by page 100," he tells EW. "I fell madly in love with the characters and I wanted to bring them to life on the screen. I also was excited at the prospect of filming scenes set in the world of the presidency and the British Royal Family. I shamelessly harassed [producers] Greg Berlanti and Sarah Schecter into backing me with the studio to direct it. The idea that someone else might make this movie filled me with unbearable jealousy."

But now Lopez gets to turn his eye to a happier gay love story. "[I found] in the book something I had rarely seen on screen: a love story between two young men that is hopeful, funny, and deeply romantic," he adds.

From People

Perez, 31, tells PEOPLE it's "a classic fairy tale with a twist for all generations," adding that he hopes viewers take away "joy" after watching it.

Shahi, 43, says it was a "no-brainer" to sign up, as she "fell in love with" the screenplay for the film, in which she plays Zahra, President Claremont's deputy chief of staff and right-hand woman. "I was floored by the dialogue," she says. "It didn’t matter that it was a gay love story — it was a bottomless well of relatability. Love has made a fool of us all at one point or another, and it was nice to see myself in both characters."

From What to Watch

"I mean, it’s a fairytale, right? It’s just an absolute fairytale, there’s something aspirational about it, and when I read the books, it just felt like a wonderful bit of escapism. I think the reason people love these characters so much, in the book, and hopefully when they see Taylor and Nick in the film, is that these two people can only exist together in fiction, right? The rarefied world that they live in, that these two rarefied worlds would collide like this, can only happen in fiction — that’s what makes it so delicious. For me, there’s something so beautifully ludicrous about how sort of unattainable their lives are, and it allows us actually to go full circle with them and deeply humanise them in some ways. That’s the other thing too, they live these extraordinary privileged and sort of high-flung lives, but what I’ve always loved about the book and what was really important to us in creating the movie was that there are two beating hearts at the centre of this book. At the end of the day, you actually end up forgetting that they’re two princes, basically, and you really do, in the novel, and I hope in the film, just fall in love with these two people."

From Vanity Fair

“I read the novel back in early 2020, and I fell madly in love with Henry and Alex,” López says from his home in the UK. “There are a lot of projects that have come and gone in my career that I have had the ability to let go of,” he continues, “but if I wasn’t able to make this movie, it would’ve cost me something. It was really a very, very irresistible passion.”

From Out Smart Magazine

With the film’s highly-anticipated release approaching, López reflects on the imaginary world that his cast and crew created in this film, and how this story of queer love can impact people of all ages who yearn to see more representation on screen. “It’s aspirational. We knew we were very consciously making a fairy tale. But I think it’s within fairy tales that we we express our truest desires in some way. I think that, for me, seeing this kid living this life is something that, if this book had been around when I was 18, 19, 20, or maybe even younger, it might have helped me. I’m hoping that the movie can do that, as well.”

From TV Times

'Beyond the LGBT love story itself, this is about two people who are trapped by circumstance and responsibility, and how that can get in the way of love,' says Nicholas. 'I think that's a very universal feeling.'

From BroadwayWorld

I read the book in early 2020 and I fell madly in love with Alex and Henry. It was the two characters. Everything else I loved as well, but those two people, that love affair that they have, it just turned all of my imagination on. I really wanted to make this movie in order to tell their story.

This movie isn't designed to address the issues that you mentioned. It isn't designed to fix the problems. That was never what this book was intended to be and this film isn't. What I hope is that this film does in some ways give solace, in some ways bring joy. I think at the end of the day, bringing joy to people who are under siege is a very valuable, valuable tool in the arsenal. I think Alex being someone who sort of sets a goal for himself and his family politically and that in the fairy tale version of it, he pulls it off. That these two people, through their queerness, can change the world. I think the other thing that you learn from this story is that like the best way to challenge the preconceived notions or to challenge authority is to be yourself. I think that you see that happening in America where in response to these draconian laws, it's like, instead of don't say gay, we're gonna scream it. I think that defiance, which has always been a hallmark of the queer community, is going to serve us well. In a very rom-com fairy tale sort of way, Alex and Henry do the same thing.

From The Queer Review

“I actually discovered the book a long time before most other people did because I was sent it pretty early on. I fell madly in love with it and I knew very quickly that I wanted to make this movie. I started lobbying for this job very soon after the book was published. When I started working on it I didn’t really pay attention to what the book was doing in the world because I was already focused on the movie. It wasn’t until September 2021, when it was finally announced that I was directing it, that I noticed something. Overnight I got about 15,000 new Instagram followers. It was right after the Tonys, so initially I thought that maybe it was because I had just won a Tony. I was like, ‘Wow, that’s a lot of new Instagram followers for the Tonys!’ Then it started to dawn on me that it was down to Red, White & Royal Blue. I remember saying to Casey McQuiston at one point, ‘You know your book is really popular, right?’ She was was like, ‘Yeah, I know. Thanks for telling me that!’ I think I needed to work in that place of ignorance because if I had understood just how popular the book was I probably would have frozen up.”

From Tatler

'I read it – like most people in America – and fell madly in love with it,' says the film's director, Matthew López. 'There was something very hopeful, romantic, funny and sexy about it. And I thought, "Well, if I can't turn this into a movie, then I should just stop doing anything productive with my life."'

[hldailyupdate]

With less than a week’s notice, Louis Tomlinson announced two special shows, one in NYC and one in London, to celebrate the release of his sophomore album, Faith In The Future. To ensure no scalpers got tickets, fans had to go through an application process on Ticketmaster to verify they were going to be the ones using the tickets to the show. Tickets were requested on Monday, and by Thursday, fans knew whether or not they were selected for their purchase to go through.

The anticipation to see the One Direction-member-turned-BritPop sensation was high, especially because the NYC show was at Irving Plaza, a venue that holds about 1,000 people, and getting to see Tomlinson in such an intimate venue is a treat for his fans. The opportunity to feel up close and personal with the singer was something fans didn’t want to miss out on. The night before the gig, a line had already formed outside of Irving Plaza. Fans huddled together on blankets and shared snacks, and one girl was even sleeping on a full-size air mattress outside the iconic venue.

With 20 minutes until show time, the line to get into the venue still snaked around the block, but any signs of camping out the night before were long gone. Tomlinson and his band took the stage about half an hour later than expected so that all the fans could get into the venue. He looked like a well-dressed skater boy in a plaid collared sweater, what looks to be track pants and his signature just-rolled-out-of-bed hairstyle and started the set with "The Greatest," the first song off his new album. The excitement from the crowd was palpable, but rather than losing their minds in the pit, it was a sea of cellphones shoved toward Tomlinson trying to capture every moment of the live debut of his second record.

The set didn't just feature songs from Faith In The Future, though. Along with cuts from his debut, Walls, fans got to hear his unreleased song "Copy of a Copy of a Copy," and of course, he wouldn’t deny them his BritPop rendition of One Direction’s "Night Changes," a staple moment in a Tomlinson set. During his performance, the crowd seemed too mesmerized by being in his presence to really lose themselves in the music.

LGBTQIA+ fans have found a comfortable home supporting Tomlinson, and this support can be seen by a fair amount of rainbow flags waving in the crowd. His first single off Faith In The Future, "Bigger Than Me," became a defacto anthem, taking on a special meaning to fans that can be felt in their response to it being performed.

Throughout the set, there was minimal fan engagement — other than Tomlinson flipping off a few fans who are being cheeky in the front few rows. Every time he tried to address the crowd, his clearly thought-out monologues get interrupted by fans trying to get one of his signature sassy responses out of him. When he does manage to be raw with the audience, he’s sentimental and seems almost surprised by how passionate his fans are about his music. He addressed the crowd with a moving speech about how he wouldn’t have his career without them, saying, “I would not be able to make this record without all of your support. I stand upon this stage and think of what’s to come and feel really fucking confident and really fucking proud, and that’s all thanks to you.”

While it’s expected for Tomlinson to feel like a seasoned performer given his time in the world-renowned boy band One Direction, his comfort level in his solo music shows a different side to the singer. This music feels more organic to Tomlinson, after all. His lyricism and vocal abilities were always destined for BritPop, and getting to see him become the rock star he was always destined to be is a treat for new and old fans alike.

-Alt Press on Louis Tomlinson's release show for Faith In The Future. (16 November 2022)

[msfbgraves]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by @puella-peanut, thanks dear!

What book are you currently reading?

Snippets of several books, tbh. Eine Frau in Berlin by Marta Hillers, because I wanted to know what it is like to live under an invading Russian army. Columns from the collected works of Carl Friedman. Rereading Karakter by Ferdinand Bordewijk.

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I've bothered to see exactly one, yesterday. Piece of my Heart, inspired by the life of Dutch star ballerina Olga de Haas. It's the story of a relationship between school friends Olga and Irma, while Olga has a meteoric rise through the company ranks. Irma deals with her jealousy remarkably well, but is tasked with keeping Olga functioning, which is too much to ask of any friend. It's also very, very gay. I mean it's not gay in the same way The Karate Kid III is not explicitly gay or kinky, which means the subtext is so shallow it is basically text.

What do you usually wear?

Whatever is comfortable, but I've been told that when I dress up it gets very posh.

How tall are you? A bit taller than 5'9'.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? 

I don't like astrology, mostly because astrology seems to not like me much. I share a birthday with the Dutch St. Nicholas! Which means I share a birthday with Santa.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

I go by my nickname with those I am close with; but that's because everyone with my name has this nickname, and when people start using it that usually means "Hey you! I like being around you." However, that is really awkward when it is a manager at work. I'm like: "I don't really think I want to be that buddy buddy", but if you tell someone not to use that nickname that is a huge rejection and your relationship is soured as a result. So I usually grin and bear it when that happens.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I might yet, though I find the presumption that this is always possible slightly arrogant. It assumes peace, health, and prosperity, and those are not givens in anyone's life. Which is to say I'm ashamed at not having achieved it yet but most people are not born disabled, and don't get potentially terminal cancer (remission baby, dinnae ye worry), and a childhood classmate of mine died when he was 16. (Although he had had quite a prolific career as a voice actor by then; still, he didn't technically grow up).

Who is your crush if you have one?

Anyone who follows me knows I have quite a thing for Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Colin Farrell, Ralph Macchio and Thomas Ian Griffith, but honestly I often really like the interplay between two Blorbos.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

Bad - everything in daily life, or so it feels. Good: I have been told that I have good insights in people's behaviour, and try not to hurt anyone.

Dogs or cats?

Cats.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

I quite like the lines: "He feels as crumpled as the money in his hand" and "He doesn't take his keys" from my fic Chasing Dragons. I also like all my headcanons about Terry Silver being one of the Fair Folk, at least partly. It explains everything about him and it is also simply hilarious to imagine him excusing himself from some board meeting to rage at the sky.

What’s something you would like to create content for?

My own book. If it is fandom, I pretty much already am.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? 

I think I am slightly less obesessed with Cuba and His Teddy Bear by Reinaldo Povod than three months ago which honestly? Might be for the best.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

New Year's Day. Somebody in my brother in law's family died on Dec 31 2021. Everyone was very morose, except for me, because I did not know the person.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

When talking wrapping presents, most of us are 'cutters', according to Michael McIntyre, but 'hidden in normal society' are 'gliders'. I'm usually not very handy but I am, in fact, a 'glider'.

Are you religious?

No, but I am both spiritual and quite superstitious. I often feel that something is nudging me a certain way and I'd do well to heed those nudges. That can get kinda annoying, with me being like: "why shouldn't I take that bus?" but sometimes when I heed it and take another, there was some roadblock or something going on, and then I'm like: 'Huh, thanks.'

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

An inkling of how best to earn a living. People just know how to find work and get jobs and everytime I'm like: "I don't know how I lucked into this and god knows what I am going to do for money when this work dries up." I mean I like believing in some career advisor's mantra about "jobs die", which they do and that's OK, and everytime that happens I'm like "Now what...?!" I seem to baffle people even in the arts and academia. Some people like being baffled, mind, but a lot of the time I got feedback like: "It's not that you're doing anything wrong, or unacceptable, specifically, but... Why Are You Like This?" I tend to look at things sideways, apparently.

[iloveuchuu]

I will say a controversial opinion.

i think bp’s contract renewal had more to do w keeping the brand name and yg’s support as a company rather than them renewing because they want to be a group. it was more aimed at their solo careers. it’s easier to stay w yg under some closures they probably negotiated rather than starting in another company western or otherwise. it’s been proven western companies have started caring less about kpop because it doesn’t give them the results they were expecting. kpop isn’t getting more recognizable or “global” and surely isn’t expanding. the numbers and the demand isn’t there – kpop companies just got smarter at pretending they are doing good in the charts. and bts isn’t active right now so any other mediocre bg would do to fill that space until they’re back.

i believe bp renewal won’t change anything. it doesn’t seem like they are in a rush to have a group cb and we are in it for a long hiatus. this tour proved to me they don’t operate as a group anymore. they feel like soloists doing a collab. this tour was so uncoordinated, everyone doing their own thing. the levels of energy were on the ground. no even the fandom seemed excited. I wonder if they even did rehearsals between concert dates and by the way they would leave separately after a concert to do their own schedules and only meet in the next concert date tells me they didn’t do rehearsals and it showed. the quality of performances was bad.

bp not longer feels like the passionate girls we saw on debut. if anything i feel like they will focus on their own solo thing and do some regular group related thing to keep up the name of blackpink. jennie will release a solo album after the idol gig blew in her face. rose will do an album or some western collab. jisoo will focus on acting and lisa doesn’t even live in sk anymore. her main base is paris/thailand now.

i think the girls want to grow their individual audience and don’t seem committed to the group anymore. like it’s not their first priority.

Anon, I couldn't agree more with you!! And thank you for sending me your thoughts, I really do love talking about things like this <3

I need to make my obligated disclaimer to all BLINKS who might come across this: I do not hate Blackpink, I do not think they are untalented or lazy or bad people. This is simply an opinion and discussion regarding THE GROUP and the MANAGEMENT.

I think business wise it makes sense that they stay together at Blackpink because that's a big name to use to promote solo material. Especially now that they are ONLY signed to YG for group activities and are free to sign for solo work elsewhere. The girls are definitely at the perfect launching point for solo activities like you said and I truly, truly hope they're able to focus on their solo work. I'm fully expecting this to become an F(x) situation.

"i believe bp renewal won’t change anything. it doesn’t seem like they are in a rush to have a group cb and we are in it for a long hiatus. this tour proved to me they don’t operate as a group anymore. they feel like soloists doing a collab. this tour was so uncoordinated, everyone doing their own thing. the levels of energy were on the ground. no even the fandom seemed excited. I wonder if they even did rehearsals between concert dates and by the way they would leave separately after a concert to do their own schedules and only meet in the next concert date tells me they didn’t do rehearsals and it showed. the quality of performances was bad."

This is also something that has really resonated and been apparent to me. The fact that when on tour there were journalists in attendance WHO NOTICED THIS SAME THING. It wasn't even them writing out of racist vitriol, these journalists were making fair and valid criticism. Part of me thinks it's not the girls fault, because how much time and how much support were they actually given outside of the staff pointing and telling them what to do. I can also sympathize with how nuts the tour dates were and how that could lead to exhaustion and injury. But I'll always be a firm believer that if you are charging fans THAT MUCH money for tickets, the show needs to be worth it. And when it's almost every show that the performances are sloppy or the energy is low that's a big issue.

I really think that YG let them down and I'm not surprised. I stand by my previous statement that their newest album was a lazy production (not because of the girls but because of Teddy and YG) that did nothing for the girls talents. I was talking with a friend about how many genres or styles that BP could absolutely KILL and yet YG keeps giving them remixes of the same song style. It's no wonder that the girls seem bored or uninterested honestly. I would be bored to! I hope the girls get to shine during solo work: I hope Jisoo keeps acting, I hope Rose FINALLY gets to sing beautiful ballads with her guitar, I hope Jennie gets to perform in ways that aren't going to "mess with her ankles" and in front of an audience she enjoys, and I hope that Lisa can continue to release bangers (and I would love to see her guest judge more competitions!). My criticisms and critiques have always and will always come from a place of wanting the girls to HAVE BETTER and wanting quality for and from them. It never comes from malice or hate.

[livemusiclexi]

Week 2 of my Internship

The second week of my internship was even more fun than the first week! I only worked one concert, which was the "Bone Thugs N' Harmony" show on September 5th. For this concert, I was the only intern that was able to work the show. I had to take care of all the responsibilities that are usually spread out to all the interns the day of the concert. Like the last concert, I still had some office hours that needed to be done before doors open to the audience. For these office hours, I did some of the same stuff as last time. I computed the data from the marketing surveys into the office computers. From this data collected, my supervisor will pick the most requested bands that are collected on the marketing surveys and present the ideas to management. So, people's input does matter in these surveys! It's exciting to see which bands have the most votes, especially if I really like the band! After this, I had to change out all the posters throughout the venue. For each show, the posters reflect on the band that is performing that night and we want people to be interested in upcoming Stage AE shows. Since "Bone Thugs N' Harmony" is in the rap genre, I had to see which upcoming shows were in that same category. Some posters needed to be printed out, so I had to print out 15 of each new poster from the office computers. From this, I went all around the venue and changed out the posters to rap genre posters. I even had to change out the big calendars that are located on the top floor by the bathrooms. After all of this is completed, my supervisor told me that I didn't need to stay for the promo table for this show only because it was a smaller crowd unlike the last concert I worked. So, I signed out from the office and made my way back to campus. Since I only interned at one show at Stage AE, I wanted to get more office hours for the week. My college had a career fair that lasted about 3 hours, and Stage AE had its own table set up. I helped my supervisor with getting students interested in upcoming concerts, and well as handing out marketing surveys. If the students filled out the survey, we gave out free Dunkin gift cards. I thought it was nice to talk to my fellow classmates about Stage AE, and to get to know what bands they are interested in to coming to the venue!

One of the last things that I did this week was more street teaming. I was assigned to hang Stage AE calendars for September to promote the bands that are playing this month. It took me a while to hang all the calendars since I had to go into campus buildings, ask permission to hang the posters, as well as traveling back and forth to do so. All in all, this week was very busy even though I was at Stage AE for one concert. I had to be at the career fair for a few hours, and I had to street team for some of the week. I try to spread out my street teaming throughout the week so that I don't need to rush to hang the calendars up. I am looking forward to working more shows this coming week at Stage AE!

[someventingspace]

A letter I could never send to you

My dearest [redacted],

I wish I could tell you how I feel about you. I say this not only because there are too many barriers preventing me from doing so but also because I’m not sure how to describe my own feelings. They’re complicated. Messy. But one thing shines through the complications and that is that I love you with my entire heart and beyond.

In my head I’ve experienced our entire relationship. I’ve held your hand, held you in my arms, write my vows to you, planned our wedding. In reality I’ve experienced our platonic relationship, our dynamic, our history, and our undeniable chemistry. We were fated to be together. You’re my soulmate. My other half. And yet we are star-crossed; some force begs to keep us apart by distance and circumstance. To be together, one or both of us would have to sacrifice a huge factor of our individual happiness. For this, I despise the universe.

I want you to know that you’re everything to me. My day is brighter when I get a message from you or we get the chance to call. It changes the trajectory of my week. You’re my favorite person. Everyone sees it; we’re perfect halves of a whole and are so much better together. There is no whole me without you, nor you without me. When people say our names, it’s in a pair.

I wish you had noticed my affection for you. I can’t blame you too much though, I was so scared of potentially losing your friendship that I never pushed the boundaries too much. At best you probably just thought I was being extra clingy because I hadn’t seen you in-person in months. I should’ve been more obvious. I should’ve initiated touch more, but I know that you aren’t a physical touch type of girl so I avoided it. Who knew that that would be such an obvious sign to you?

I’m so so so happy for you for maybe finding someone out there, across the country where I’m not. I’m happy for you because you like him and he probably likes you. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I wish you the best, truly. But if you knew where I was standing, you’d know how hard it is to be on this end of the situation. How hard it is to be the first person you call to explain the situation. To somehow try and give you advice based on my own experiences of having crushes. To hear you say that you’ve always been the one pursuing, never the one being pursued. To be the one that’s been pursing you all this time, then being the one to help you be with someone else.

Don’t get me wrong (see above–SO HAPPY FOR YOU) I’m incredibly grateful to still be close enough to you, even from 2279 miles away, that I still get calls from you about this sort of thing. I’m excited to be your advice giver. I’m excited to be your best friend.

At the end of the day, that’s what remains the most important thing of all. Just having you in my life in general makes it better, even if it’s solely in a platonic way. Our friendship is the foundation of everything we are, and I would never want to jeopardize that. That’s why I never told you any of this. Why I never told you how much I really, truly love you. The risk was far too much. Think about it. You live across the country and it would cost $700+ every time we wanted to see each other in person. If we ever wanted to be together physically in a long-term way either I would have to give up living near my family (something I VERY MUCH do not want to do at all because I love them and love where I live) or you would have you give up the life and career that you love out there. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Despite me feeling like hell due to all of this, it wouldn’t be fair for me to share my feelings with you. We couldn’t actually be in a relationship, so all it would accomplish is shifting the discomfort from being mine alone to being ours. Obviously, I don’t want to cause you any pain or discomfort and I definitely don’t want to risk our friendship. Therefore I stay silent. I’ll listen to your new relationship stories. I’ll cheer you on. I’ll give a killer maid-of-honor speech at your wedding one day.

I love you more than words can say, but I need you as my friend even more. Our friendship comes before anything else. If anything is meant to happen, it will, but for now I’ll be realistic.