#i so dont wanna get my shit removed but its fucking terrible

[the-silent-hashira]

having PMDD is probably the worst thing i can think of that i have because everything else will be FINE and then i spend a week wondering why reality is so wonky and why i cant sleep and im reminded afab bodies are literally just. fucking SHIT

[rei-does-stuff]

watched anymore episodes of the dub?

Yup! 4 eps! So this’ll be long!

SaH dub

Ep 7

-Bad voice acting strikes again!! They just can’t get it right

-They made Goseum a girl, #feminism???

-Please…Please stop using the same track over and over again I KNOW YOU HAVE DIFFERENT MUSIC PLEASE USE IT

-Drowing your enemies! You know, for kids!!!

-AGAIN WHY ARENT THEY CENSORING GEUM STABBING A GUY???

-They made Geum straight </3 this is so sad

-They talk about freedom so much…You are not the wolves Geum, you are no freedom loving American!!

-Also…Giving Geum a backstory of “oh I enrolled in the military with her blah blah blah” feels weird, ig just cuz im used to his regular backstory

-Everytime I hear Mul’s voice in this I wanna kill myself it’s so fucking irritating like HOW DO YOU MAKE IT THAT BAD??

-“You kidnapped me for no good reason!” Like theres a GOOD reason to kidnap someone???

-Geum is a TERRIBLE liar in this, how the hell is he staying undercover??

-Goseum being a badass girlboss is pretty cool tho ngl

-Even here Jogjebi is like “Geum is my bestie he would never hurt meee”

-Goseum is only good voice actor in this whole show

-“I wanna shoot something!” Lmao

-“What is he talking abt” EVEN THEYRE CONFUSED

-THEY TOOK THE HOMOEROTICISM OUT OF THE GOSEUM-GEUM BOUQUET SCENE I HATE THIS

-AGAIN WITH THEY JUST CUT TO THE CREDITS??

-Also I’m rewatching some of these in 2x speed and it’s…Very Very funny but it also makes me see how slow paced the dub makes everything feel, in the original the slow pace works but the dub just fucks it up in a way that I can’t really describe

Ep 8

-“My boy!” They are so father-soncore

-Again the untranslated Korean, 4kids was able to at least remove Japanese text why can’t you?

-This is NOT a battle of wills everyone here is dumb as rocks

-Geum im so sorry they dont know your character like I do </3

-I do like aekkus voice in this ngl…

-Mul is ALWAYS having a bad day NO MATTER WHAT!!

-“I promise well stop acting stupid”

They are all so brothercore in this too I do like it ngl

-“Well if you say so” THAT QUICKLY??

-The way they cut to the next scene is insane…

-The quality shifts is insane

-END AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR ONCE

Ep 9

-Oh god the Goseumdochi death ep…

-Rodia’s voice is different AND bad wtf…Why did they ruin the only good voice actor

-Beautiful sound effects…Don’t you just love the horrible mixing of everything?

-“Oh no, its broken” you sound SO devastated Rodia

-Dan green once again explains what’s happening on screen

-They removed a lot of context for this too

-NO SONG EITHER :(

-“Without weaponry” EXCUSE ME??? HAVE YOU MET GOSEUMDOCHI??

-“Fight for freedom” things Geum would never say

-Again with the quality shifts…

-“You talking to me little rat??” iconic

-Terror? He’s barely done shit!!

Ep 10

-JOEY WHEELER?? FROM YUGIOH???

-JUL! Time for the “were brothers!” Censorship!

-His voice….I dont like it….

-NOT THIS MUSIC—

-Not the running sounds 😭

-Bad video quality strikes again

-Again no translation of korean text

-Not the yellow filter coming back with a vengeance 😭

-Now daramis a girl??? Transgenderism…omg

Overall they suck, had some funny moments tho so ykyk, rlly recommend watching it on 2x speed makes it WAY more tolerable

[faenemy]

Hii don't mind me, just wanted to ramble abt Mark and friends series in ur ask box cuz why not :3 (you've drawn fanart of them b4 btw!)

SO LETS START OFF WITH SOME CONTEXT. Mark and friends is a completed series on YouTube made by this guy ashur gharavi, it follows the story of Mark blah blah i can't talk in this format snymore I need to go silly mode holf on. SO MARK IS GHIS 'LITTLE MONSTER' KID RIGHT, AND ANOTHER CHARACTER IS BILLY WHO IS AN ADUKT HUMAN. SO THE SERIES IS KINDA LIKE A KIDS CARTOON BUT WITH BLOOD AND MURDER. BILLY KIDNAPPED MARK AND FORCED HIM TO DO STUFF FOR CAMERA. AS THE SERIES GO ON, THERE WILL BE LITTLE HINTS IN THE FORM OF NEWSPAPER OF LIKE WHATS ACTUALLY GOING ON AND WHY HES FOING THIS. READ EVERY SINGLE BACKGROUND NEWSPAPER EVEN IF IT DOESNT FEEL IMPORTANT, THE LITTLE DETAILS ARE SOOOO GOOD. MARK IS LIKE 10 YEARS OLD AND HES LITERALLY SO CUTE, HE DONT DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENWD TO HIM. IM NOT GONNA SPOIL THE ENDING FOR U, CUZ ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD I REMEMBWR WHEN I FIRST WATCHED IT AND THE ENDINV IS JUST SO PULLING MY HEAET STRINGS AND LIKE SUCH A TENSE SCENE YK. ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD, THERE ARE 3 COMPILATIONS OF IT (PART 1,2 AND 3) I THINK ITS LIKE 2 HOURS LONG PLEASE PLEASE WATCH IT (ONLY IF U WANNA OFC NO PRESSURE) I LOVE THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN, I HATE BILLY BUT I LOVE HOW WELL HIS CHARACTER AND MANIPULATION IS WRITTEN HES SO FUCKING CRUEL. I LOVE HOW ASHUR ISNT AFRAID TO JUST FUCKIMG MAKE HIM DO TERRIBLE AWFUL SHIT. I LOVE IT SO MJCH ITS SO CREATIVE I LOVE MARK TOO, HWS SO CUTE I LOVE DRAWING HIM. OH AND ALSO, ITS CANON THAT TWOMP TAKES PLACE AFTERRR THAT SERIES AND MARK IS FRIENDS WITH ARGOS AND MR PLANT. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO UGHHHHH. THE ACTOR IS EYE CANDY TOO HES SO COOL. PLEASE WATCH IT ILL GIVE U A COOKIE IF U DO (AGAIN, ONLY IF U WANNA THO NO PRESSURE) :3

SOME PICTURES ^^

(This ask wasn't proofread btw)

HI HI HI Thank you for the ask box rambles I love them <3

Definitely did not go and binge the whole series, nope, not me

ANYWAY MY RAMBLINGS AS I WATCHED AND THOUGHTS UNDER CUT

I love this little green guy!

Marks parents seem to be murdered (go figure)

I'm assuming he was kidnapped in an ice cream truck/van??

Mark is kept in a cage without an actual bed it seems, at least when he isn't on camera

Are the puppets the actual children, or do they just represent them?

Mark keeps rubbing his side/stomach, maybe where his kidney was removed??

Child star shows an actual person so kidnapper might have started as a child star?

Grandma knows her kiddo is still alive (GET HIS ASS)

Is the plant guy who killed Big Monster Mr plant?

Donovan escapes???

Cupcake monster gets killed (very sadge)

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY PUT TOMATOES IN A FRUIT SALAD??? JAIL!!!!

apparently monsters are edible, might be some cannibali going on?

Also humans are considered monsters in this world

In "cooking" the newspaper is obscured, but it seems to read (missing childs body found, but not his head) Cupcake Monster???

UPDATE DEFO CUPCAKE MONSTER NOOOOOO

No Illinois, Minnesota or Indiana

Maybe the other kids were from Minnesota and Indiana, since Mark is from Illinois?

Aight my man was defo the child star, I'm assuming he is repeatimg the crimes of big monster???

Oop so search led to Indiana, snap my prior theory lol

Big monsters cousin changes last name

Frame lasted long on that, so I assume it's important

I keep forgetting Billy's name LMAO

Big monster and sewer? Seems like an It reference

So they're near Michigan now, noted

WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME :(((( I luv paper bag dog NOOOOOO

Mark seems more vocal and challeging billy more now

Billy straight up gave the kids psychedelics my god

Someone save the child pls

Donovan my beloved is traumatized:((((

Oooooh the photos in the background are crying now, I think those are Marks parents?

Mr plant defo killed Big Monster, king shit

OOOOOH

okay so kid star (johnny) met with big monster in the sewer, got murdered

But Billy was the one who encouraged him to, Billy was going to star in the movie before Big Monster was convicted. So he was the kid who was crying in the article because his role was dropped

NOOOOOO MARK IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS

Get HIS ASS GRANDMA

I can't read the teleprompter, get this dude some glasses.

Just remembered how Mark cannonicly has his photos taken???? And sold I think??? Wtf???

Donovan had started a charity:((( he thinks his friends are gone

The date on the newspaper in the back keeps changing

Can I fight Billy??? I think I could take him easy

Mark straight up ate a razor blade get this kid a doctor

OH MY GOSH THEY'RE GOING TO THE DOCTOR

APOLLO HAS BLESSED ME

the eye test in the back reads "Mark has one more week before I kill him" if my new son dies I riot

Can I adopt Mark

Goal list; dispose, replace, repeat

I wonder if there are other shows featuring Donovan and Cupcake Monster?

Why were they kidnapped?

Befriend that strange man??? NOOOO

Did my son just kill Billy???? HELL YEAH

RUN BOY RUN

MY SON IS SAFE!!!!

In conclusion, I would like to adopt Cupcake Monster, they are now my child. I would also like to punch Billy repeatedly :D

[our-inspire-verse]

;-;

(Dont open unless you're ok with negative vent)

Yeah im doing really fucking poorly rn. Like. I know we expected to go downhill staying here, i know its expected with everything and the abuse and the trauma here and. The bad. All of the terrible horrible. Just bad. All the trauma coming up from our past, the FLASHBACKS.

Its too much. I can't hold onto stability and wellness right now. It's not in the cards for me and i think that has to be okay. It isn't anti recovery for me to say that i cannot recover here PERIOD. Im so insecure about that. That im just not open to recovery, i wanna get worse and wallow in my shit. I don't. I really don't enjoy feeling like this, and i dont get some kick out of it. I get my reality shunted in my face again and again and i get the reality of all of the people around me. I get ripped down from where i climbed by people who should have pushed me upwards farther.

Im hurting. Its not enough to just be hurt, i am actively hurting pretty consistently. And my body physically cant take it anymore. These episodes only used to flare up sometimes. Now its night after night, and sometimes during the day aggressively. Its unending and way more intense than it usually is. Even Alder and Kiba dont know how to handle me. I'm angrier, i lash out where i dont mean to.

To anyone, even those who will never see this message. Please do not let me lash out at you. Don't let me hurt you. Please tell me I'm being irrational. It keeps happening. Please dont let me isolate myself. Please dont let me do this. I've deleted messaging apps, removed myself from chats, told people i was unavailable to talk. I cut people off only from helping me. I dont cut people off in any other way.

And im desperately afraid right now. Just so sick and scared. Who the hell can i trust? The 3 or 4 friends who have proven over and over and over and over they're unconditionally here for me? The several others who are relatively new in my life that would do anything for me? The family members i never call who tell me to just let them know if EVER i need anything?

How many people have offered me solace and comfort and i dont go to it? How long has it persisted and how long will i continue to thirst for it? How long will trauma keep me desperate and sick and hurting? What am i to ask for when asking for help?

What is to be said? As someone who has NEVER. Had help. Period NEVER. I genuinely dont know what im supposed to ask for. What is there. Because anything they say is stuff i already know and say and do. It isn't fair that that makes me angry.

My cousin said all the comforting little phrases, things will get better. Shes right, ill find someone, this isnt the end of my life. But I'm about a fourth the way through my predicted life span(if im lucky) and it has hurt so bad the entire time that i formed a dissociative disorder. And i still can't act like a person, and not only am i so supremely isolated now, its about to get much worse in that area.

Do you really think that after a year of hell and overstimulation that being completely alone will be GOOD for me? That even though i crave quiet and peace and alone time where im not being percieved, within a month or 2 i will not be behaving incredibly ill? I will be so unbelievably sick in a way i have never been before. I am not prepared. Because if this is how i am with people near me, how will i be once I've finally writhed out and gotten on my own? Im not going to be okay. Im not okay now and im not seeming to improve at all rn. I have opportunity to feel better. But all i feel is agony

[thithesandofferings]

Shopping with Raian

Raian x Reader 

TW 18+ MDI

Jealousy sex, dirty talk, Raian...being Raian, terrible food puns- please read at your discretion. semi-public sex- heavy petting.

Normally a shopping trip would be one of the highlights of your weeks but this time has been one of the most draining trips you've ever taken. Raian had been wanting you to help him with his new diet for sometime now so all that was left was to get the proper foods.

"I really dont understand why i HAVE to be here when you get the shit!...you know what to get right?"

"The reason you're here is because everytime i restock your fridge with health foods you dont EAT them. They go bad or ohma comes over and eats em for you-"

"...how'd you-"

"YES I KNOW"

"Ohma that fucking niko style bitch...can't wait to crush him this match"

"Not with your current diet you won't"

"And whats wrong with my-" You stopped suddenly and faced him, admittedly on your tip toes but not the point right now.

"Dont you DARE call the slop you eat on a daily...healthy" you glared at him. "Its nothing but junk, sugars and protein. I understand you're literally part demon but you need to take better care of your health sooner or later"

"Y-yeah thats all i need...come on dont-the demon in me got this kitty" he backed back from your threatening gaze. You let out an exasperated sigh and continued on with the shopping, leaving Raian with a confused look on his face.

You were moving to the next aisle when suddenly a hand tapped your shoulder. "...yes Raian- oh..hello"

"Um hello, sorry for bothering you but i was just wondering if you can point me in the direction of the olives" the strange man asked.

"Oh i believe thats two aisles down" you pointed.

"Ah ok. Thank you."

"You're welcome" you said turning on your heels to continue down your aisle

"..i mean ive been lost for a hot minute" he continued

"Oh" you faked a laughed and then attempted to walk away again.

"Its for this new recipe i saw online...yeah its main ingredient is olive so...you can't have it without the olives. The main star am i right?" He laughed "Y..yeah...yeah you're right. Anyways good luck with your dish"

"Oh i should probably let you go huh. Sorry for talking up olive your time" he laughed again 'Oh lord please save me' you cried internally. And just as he was about to open his mouth another time he stopped just as suddenly. His whole face went pale and mouth gaped open. Come to think of it the aisle also got darker...

"Oi!" a loud voice boomed from the back of you 'RAIAN..THANK GOODNESS. Well he's not an angel but still'

You turned around only to be met with eyes darker than the night sky, he was practically steaming...oh shit he's pissed...

"Now...i know shes too nice to say it to you but me? I dont give a fuck! So how about you and your lame ass, corny ass puns get to your olives olive boy. Cause im feeling very eggcited to beat your fucking ass right now!"

He gripped the trolley in the front of you, maybe a little to tightly, bending the metal as if it was silicone.

"YE-S SiR..SORRY SIR!!" And with that he ran off

"Wooow that guy almost pissed himself. Im surprised you actually held back, the last guy you almost punched him across the road" you laughed.

"I honestly tried to leave but goodness he just wouldnt-" Your words were suddenly cut off by Raian lips covering yours. He dragged you closer as his tongue dominated your mouth. His grip tightened as he bit down on your bottom lip, causing you to gasp into the kiss.

"-shut up" he snarled His hand slowly slid downwards cupping one of your ass cheeks completely and squeezing almost to the point of pain. With Raian everything was almost pain inducing but oh was that pain sweeter than anything else.

The way his hands moved along your body as if it was made for him and however he saw it fit to be used. Used. Thats what your purpose was in moments like these. When he kisses you breathless, when he pushes out those lewd reactions out of your body, the way he can easily have you twisting and turning...eagerly awaiting any further ministrations from his hands...or mouth...or tongue...or-.

You felt your back firmly pressed against the shelves now and as his knee parted your thighs and rubbed up against your now wet panties. His thighs...those muscular thighs... thighs that destroyed faces, broke teeth, drew blood and took the wind out of people. Yet here you are just wanting to straddle the deadly appendage and just ride it until you climaxed....which felt pretty soon alREADY!!

A wonton moan escaped your mouth once he broke the kiss. Before you knew it, you were literally dry(well not so dry) humping his thigh, your wet heat begging for friction or movement.

"Always so eager for me huh...so eager for what i wanna do to you...to this body.." he growled in your ear.

You were at the mercy of this man...this demon. Right where he wants you... "Who do you belong to?...answer me now! Tell me who this fucking wet pussy belongs to"

"...mmmm..i..it...b-you" He slides a hand in the front of him and rubs along the dampened spot between your legs.

"Mmmmmm and who made you so wet kitty? Your pants is basically soaked... have you no shame? Hm?....humping my thigh like a bitch in heat...i should fucking take you now... right in this aisle. Somebody could walk in on our little scene any moment now...you're lucky i dont want no one else seeing this fucked out expression on your face right now."

And just as suddenly he removed himself, almost causing you to fall over. Your legs was jelly, your pants was literally soaked and who the fuck knows if people didnt walk pass your little scenario just now.

"Ahhhhh just kill me now...what if someone sawwww....i...i should just melt into the ground.. please..."

"Come on lets go, as soon as were done here i'll help you with that little....problem"

"A PROBLEM YOU CAUSED" He simply shrugged

"Not my fault that slim dick was trying to talk to something of mines....you know i dont take sharing very well" he smirked.

-Krissy

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra (again)

i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think  this one will be better written

What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.

In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills

Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.

“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.

As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that. 

So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.

So she came to Republic City, it was a mess. 

Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky. 

Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.

Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok

The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.

In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.

And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.

Tarrlok in the  other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.

Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.

The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain  power. And that was exacly what happened

Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it. 

But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event

In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.

Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was  physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.

Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.

Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this

I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.

Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible  when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this.  And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her

One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.

And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about  Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming 

[wassupmygays]

so you know how tubbo immediately started crying and wailing when he took his hazmat suit off today? yeah. here have some angst

~~~~~~

cw// worthlessness, bad thoughts i guess. im not good at tagging warnings akhsjsks

/roleplay /dreamsmp

tubbo removed the hazmat suit and immediately fell to his knees, crying out and covering his ears. the egg is speaking to him. and it has nothing nice to say. tommy doesnt know what to. his best friend just fucking collapsed and is sobbing, clawing at his ears. so he just crouches down and puts his hands on tubbos shoulders, trying to comfort him.

-

tommy said that the egg was weird. that it said crude things. holy shit was that an understatement

"theyre right, you know?" the egg says. the voice isnt something tubbo could place. it shifts, almost glitching between tones. some words are dream, some quackity, some he doesnt even know. some are tommy.

"youre nothing but a pawn. a sidekick. you arent liked until you are useful. look how easliy everyone shoves you aside. remember how much youve been used. youre easily used, easily pushed over. youre a terrible president, nobody listens. quackity was more of a leader than you ever could be. you are worthless"

tubbo screams until his throat stops him, trying to block out the lies voice. he can vaguely hear someone elses voice, barley feeling his friend shaking him.

"tubbo, mate. cmon, you need to get up. bad and ant are here"

tubbo shakes his head, trying to clear his vision. "n- no" he mumbles. "i dont wanna"

tommy crouched down in front of him, grabbing his shoulders and staring him dead in the eyes. "listen, tubbo. i know its hard and the egg is shitty but we need to get out of here. these fuckers are shady. please"

tubbo only nods weakly, and tommy pulls him up and supports tubbo against his shoulder.

"hold my hand, ok? itll be alright, tubbo"

[angeloncewas]

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

[wolferals]

🌝AIRPORTS AND SNOWSTORMS🌝

arón piper preference

*

*

-„girl hurry up!“

-you had spent the last week in Amsterdam to do some research for college and to take some pictures for the magazine your class was currently designing for a project

-and now you were at the airport waiting for your plane to Italy to take off

-it was new years eve tomorrow and you had promised to come to your friends‘ huge party she wanted to celebrate in Sicily

-you were wearing a warm coat and a scarf since it was super cold out and its been snowing for the past 2 days

-„What am I supposed to do? Fly the plane myself?“ you joked over the phone

-„whatever. I cant wait!“

-you then hung up and leaned back in your seat, looking around

-there werent many people here, probably since no one is crazy enough to fly somewhere in a snowstorm

-but the airport people had told you there wouldnt be any problems due to the snow

-you noticed two girls sitting together, talking

-they looked excited about something

-and there was an older woman talking on the phone

-she was wearing a super long red fur coat and some black lace gloves

-rich bitch you thought to yourself

-you wish

-a couple of others were sitting nearby just talking to each other or scrolling through their phones

-you then decided to listen to some music because you had about 30 minutes until boarding started

-25 minutes later you headed towards the gate but a woman stopped you and spoke:“we are so sorry, the plane cannot start right now, the storm is pretty drastic and it could cause some problems.“

-you just stared at her and then asked:“And when will the next plane to Italy go?“

-she shrugged her shoulders and replied:“I‘m sorry, we dont know that yet. But of course you will get a full refund or a rescheduled flight.“

-you stumbled back a little

-they had promised the plane would go

-and now you were stuck here

-you had already cancelled your hotel because you were sure you‘d be able to get to Italy tonight

-„is there nothing you can do?“

-she shook her head and said:“I‘m sorry, we had to cancel all flights.“

-you nodded and then slowly made your way back to your seat

-the first thing you did was call your mom

-and you asked her what to do

-she just told you to either stay at the airport or go back to the hotel in hope of getting your room back

-but since you didnt have enough money with you you couldnt

-so you just stayed there

-you hung up and leaned back in your seat

-„fuck.“ you muttered to yourself

-the other passengers had found out already as well and some were leaving the airport and some just sat down and pulled out their headphones

-after sitting there thinking about what you should do, a guy made his way up to you

-looking just as pissed off as you were feeling inside

-he sat down close to you and put in his headphones as well

-over the course of the next hour you guys kept glancing at each other every now and then

-he was cute, you thought

-he was wearing a brown jacket and a black beanie to keep his ears warm

-and he had chocolate brown eyes that you caught looking at you

-at some point he pulled out his headphones and just looked at you

-so you removed your airpods too and looked back at him

-„i like the 1975.“ he simply said

-his voice was deep and raspy

-you had a thing for such voices

-you then realized you were wearing your 1975 sweatshirt under your coat and you looked down for a second

-„thanks. Really? I thought you were more of a drake kind of guy.“

-he chuckled and then replied:“Maybe i am. But id say I‘m more of a Gregory Palencia, Kanye West kind of guy. You know i like some good rap, not that basic shit.“

-you smiled and answered:“Alright makes sense. So whats your favorite song by the 1975?“

-he laughed

-then he unexpectedly grabbed his suitcase and sat down next to you

-„honestly, i dont listen to them. I just said that because i needed a reason to talk to you.“

-you couldnt believe him

-so you scoffed at him before giving him a playful grin

-„alright Mr Kanye, great first impression check. Maybe wanna continue with some bad pick up line?“

-he grinned at you

-seeing him from so close made you realize that he had some golden specs in his brown eyes

-„actually thank you for mentioning it. I got some great ones. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?“

-„oh god no!“ you exclaimed and looked at him in disgust

-he started laughing and replied:“wait i got an even better one. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to come in again?“

-you started laughing in his face before answering:“thats funny though.“

-he smiled and started again:“Okay my last one, in my opinion the best thing a guy can say to a cute girl like you. Were your parents beavers? Cuz damn.“

-you hid your face behind your hands while laughing at his terrible jokes

-„so do you think im funny now?“ he laughed

-you turned back to him

-„u know what, yes i do.“

-he laughed with you

-„Arón, encantada.“ he held out his hand

-„Oh hola. I‘m Y/n.“ you answered

-„Hola.“ he just joked

-„so tell me, mr latino. Where were you going?“

-arón started laughing again and then said:“I‘m from Spain, not a Latino. And i was heading back to Madrid actually but since this wont happen tonight im here, like you. Where were you going Ms... where are you from?“

-you told him where you‘re from just to get a:“oh ya i figured.“ from him

-„right. You already knew huh?“

-he looked at you, grinning

-you looked back at him and he smiled

-in his eyes you could see something you hadn’t seen in a man‘s for so long

-passion, emotion, maybe even interest on a larger scale

-and he made you feel good even though you had just met him

-his eyes smiled with him

-„tell me something about you.“ he then spoke leaning back

-„what do you wanna know?“ you replied just as cocky

-„well we got time. Everything.“

-and it felt like suddenly it wasnt too bad you were stuck an airport on a cold December night

-because you met him

-you didnt know what would happen once you got a new flight but you sure as hell knew you wanted to see this guy again

[crowsent]

the man hasnt even started the stream yet and his chat is spammin “technolate” truly the best and most supportive fans

amazing

=

i have to make my own fences like a loser

=

“tommy is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud tommy”

=

“they keep dying on my thorns”

then fucking remove your armour mr technoblade??????????? you have the option to remove your armour

i know you have trust issues and that the last time you removed your armour tommy tried to kill you but like

you can remove your armour, find someplace else for your zombie villagers to be in, and then put the armour back on

you have options mr blade

you can make unenchanted armour for the purposes of moving your damn zomvillagers out the way if you really dont wanna be armourless

you have the materials

you have the opportunities

fucking seize them

=

mr blade: “my sleep schedule is terrible”

my dumb ass, waking up at 10pm on a monday after falling asleep on a 6am the same monday, after not sleeping for 2 days on sunday and saturday: “damn right your sleep schedule is terrible”

i have good self-awareness

=

mr blade: “im not stalling”

proceeds to stall:

• “happy new year! i forgot that happened”

• reads donations

• begins to try and cure his zombie villagers

• makes fun of skeppys “clickbait” title (it is clickbait by the way. the video is not structured like an actual manhunt vid. totally not a technosimp but techno was a fantastic hunter in the skeppy v techno manhunt. yep. techno was v fair about the entire thing go watch it if you havent hes great and skeppy was also there /lh)

• talks about chess

• talks about the Gifted Child™ Syndrome without ever saying the words Gifted Child™ Syndrome

• DONT DISRESPECT CHESS

(hes a fucking athena kid. im fucking TELLING YALL HES AN ATHENA KID and if i have to fucking write a goddamn academically cited paper to prove it with actual fucking receipts i goddamn will)

• even when tommy came on stream, techno immediately proceeded to discuss the Kings Fianchetto opening

• “i dont know what kind of science textbooks youve been reading, but youve spent too much money on them. those are trash. those are TRASH”

exactly mr blade. exactly. see? athena kid. hes smart. he went to college. he knows the score. mmmhmmm. yup. checks out mr. blade

• types “You’re talking sounds” -tommyinnit (genius)

• into the mc chat

• “Tommy, you’re talking words, but the only universal language: is sounds”

IF SBI NON CANON WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS READ AS AN OLDER BRO MAKING FUN OF HIS YOUNGER BRO EXPLAIN MR BLADE

Techno fucking lists out languages that do not have sounds like: sign language, written language, braille

and then fucking thomathy “tommyinnit” minecraft hits us with “and russian”

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS

RUSSIAN IS A CATEGORY OF NON-SOUND LANGUAGE

=

and for a good few minutes, mr blade and associate tommyinnit talk about crimes and the fbi and using it to farm views. big brain moved here today

(and then tommys alexa turned blue when he said fbi and then they both freaked out it was great)

=

new york-ian

=

mr blade and tommyinnit just IMMEDIATELY trying to pander to new yorkers once they realise the population size. they out here fucking complimenting the statue of liberty (even tho its in new jersey), the empire state building, the bronx, queens, fucking SPIDERMAN

if they arent brothers

why they have this energy

=

prime to tommyinnit

sub to technoblade

yall

my heart

i love these two terrorists so much

(for legal reasons, i am obligated to say that they are video game terrorists please and thank you)

=

tommy, about music he wanna sing: its from nintendo

mr blade: nintendo copyrights EVERYTHING tommy they got like SUPER COPYRIGHT

tommy: well, technoblade, every last one of my videos uses nintendo music

mr blade: DUDE YOURE GOING TO DIE. nintendo will KILL you

=

“new york is not canon in the dream smp universe”

mr technoblade over here just fucking ruining every new yorkers day huh

yall hear that? new york is non canon

=

you want cock to join the revolution

=

tommy out here trying to be intimidating but hes stuttering, knocking himself off of things...

its great

its great

i love their dynamic

=

im spawning the wither, somebody get me my sword

techno “one-liner” blade ladies and gentlemen

=

techno using the wither to vandalise lmanberg is very poggers of him

amazing mr blade

=

tommy is such a delight in this stream

“i dont know this man”

“why would you bring this near me im WEAK im FRAIL im LIKE AN OLD LADY”

thank you mr innit

=

if i had gotten this stream live yall bet your asses i would be chanting “blood for the blood god” with chat

chat is BLOODTHIRSTY

chat is feral

chat is amazing

thank you chat for being the chaotic fucking bastards yall always are

=

“lookit muh muscles. BITCH”

tommy

i love him

=

so last stream, techno and tommy waterboarded a hostage who died by a spider immediately after he was released

THIS stream, techno and tommy waterboard an orphan fox until he cries

good times

=

fundy drowned

ha

canon?

=

wait

i just remembered

FUNDY GOT DROWNED BY HIS UNCLES

TOMMY AND TECHNO ARE FUNDYS UNCLES BRUHHHHHHH

these two fuckers legit said “what if i waterboard my nephew to the point where he drowns”

=

i find it really funny that techno is the one fanon portrays to be this remorseless out of control entity when the entire time during the fundy waterboard torture, techno is the one holding tommy back and saying that hes going to far

and last time, techno is the one chiding philza when philza just casually murders and slaughters his way around the map

bruh

techno has more of a moral compass than fandom gives him credit for

where is my "techno is actually the moral compass of the sbi” fanfic

=

the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack amiright? eyyyy hes homeless

techno

techno

so funny

=

“useless, annoying, loud, british. you know. the worst combination” techno says

then he fucking makes tommy weapons, gives tommy the helmet, makes tommy weapons and tools and armour...

yeah. 

=

“i will not rest until that entire country has been completely obliterated for what it did to me and phil, tommy”

ME AND PHIL

ME AND PHIL

technoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

bruhhhh

mr blade please

=

LMANBURG IS MY UNFINISHED SYMPHONY

tommy what the fuck

what the fuck

tommy

tommy

what wait tahgjkjxbglsjbnouafsfv

WAT

=

“you could actually be, dare i say it, a friend” TECHNO

TECHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

=

“technoblade ill join you”

ANTARCTIC ANARCHIST COMMUNE POG

YES BITCH

YES BITCH

SBI

SBI

SBI

SBI

SBI

=

“this bodes poorly for the eventual sbi meetup”

shut up

shut the fuck up

i cant handle this

i can handle the dream sapnap meetup conspiracy

but i CANNOT handle the sbi meetup conspiracy

techno please shut up

i cant

dont do me dirty like this man

=

you know how tommy keeps saying that hes weak and shit but like

he fought in wars

he has fucking armour, weapons, potions, gapples

he can hold his own in a fight

do

do you think tommy keeps calling himself weak bc DREAM calls him weak? like. his self-confidence and belief in his abilities is just eroded by dream so tommy thinks hes weak even if he isnt?

=

“we have sand at home”

at home

at home

at HOME

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

techno literally out here singlehandedly giving me serotonin

=

beak on

=

bless you

=

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

[boojersey]

content warning for this long ass fucking story: lots of medical fuckups and body horror in the doctors office. this is super graphic depiction of my doctor visit which entailed a procedure. you have been warned >;)

i went to the foot doctor today to get my lifelong ingrown toenail issue corrected on one toe after i stubbed it so bad the nail split down the middle and the entire top half of my toenail unseated and snapped off and this was easily the weirdest doctor visit ive ever had so strap in folks. so i was talking to the doctor and she was telling me about the procedure and i was like i get to watch right and she was like uh ya if u want ! and she was literally drop dead beautiful in an intelligent and passionate slightly frazzled doctor way and i was so fucking chill every second she was in the room.

the nurses come in and tell me theyre gonna apply the anesthetic and one of them is brand new and in training and i was like UH i need to be laid down. bc if i see the syringe while you do this i WILL pass out. and they were like sweet ok just fine and so the anesthetic involved two syringe applications (since both sides of my toenail get ingrown) basically ballooning up my foot with some anesthetic and as they did this they “froze” my toe with i believe nitrous? it was weird bc it wasnt the same chemical i was familiar with that was a numbing agent but it was a freezy thing anyway. anyway the first syringe goes smoothly. the second one???? FUCKING snaps in half on the way in. the plunger literally *pop* snaps in half and theyre like ...........thats never happened. so they go for another syringe and im like. heave ho in the brain trying to be ok but i was SMART AS SHIT before going to this appointment because i knew what the surgery would entail and i Wanted to watch. so i drank about half a twisted tea and i was feeling very liquid courage otherwise i literally mightve cried during this appointment. anyway. they come back and administer round two again? and THE SAME THING HAPPENS. and my toe is NOT NUMB YET and so i FEEL as the nurse says well im not wasting another needle AND MACGYVERS IT PRETTY MUCH TREATING MY TOE LIKE PLAY DOH AND SQUEEZING ANESTHETIC AROUND SWISHING IT THRU THE FLESH. ALL WHILE I FEEL HER FORCING THE ANESTHETIC IN BY HAND AND NOT BY PLUNGER BASE.it was seriously terrible.

nurses eventually finish. they have to bring me a cup of water. anesthetic didnt totally do its job. i still feel on the bottom of my toe. they say its fine. im thanking the gods im tipsy. i feel as she pokes the bottom of my toe with the surgical pliers again and im about to ask if they can just do it anyway because im so terrified of more anesthetic. the beautiful doctor reenters and im suddenly feeling completely better. she tells me the fact i can feel only on the very bottom is no big deal.

i dont give a shit about the anesthetic. she tourniquets me up at the base of my toe (this is usually something that my phobia kicks in with since its usually a sign im getting a needle; pretty doctor is here so all is well and my anxieties do not appear) and goes ‘still wanna watch?’

the nurse who was training the other answers first saying im skittish. i say yes. her jaw drops. ‘you cant take the needle but you can take watching your toe get ripped apart?’ i nod eagerly. i do not tell her this is because i watch dr miami’s snapchats and ran a gore blog in my teens. i can tell the doctor likes me. she goes into a story about how she’s kind of glad about the new safety features corona brought because she is less able to smell patients with foot odor. as shes saying this shes inserting something inbetween the receding nail and the skin it has so long bruised and hurt in my life and in one smooth motion pries my skin apart. i watch, rapt, as she sections off the piece of the nail she deems ingrown with a pair of scissors, then takes the pliers and like a first grader’s baby tooth yanks and removes the nail. the piece that had been causing me so much pain was ENORMOUS. im talking like a centimeter wide which is a lot for a nail. it’s jagged and sharp, having grown only into whatever flesh it could. she pries out a few more bits, then picks up an object that reminds me of a microscopic spoon? if you’ve seen the tiny kitchen videos it reminds me of what an ice cream scooper would look like on there. she takes this and cores out the area like an eye on a potato. its insane to watch happen to myself, especially with the reminder that its happening to myself in that theres still a dull thumping feeling regardless of the anesthetic during this procedure, theres just no pain or Feeling feeling. she repeats this on the other side, then tells me about the chemical shes going to be inserting into the now gaping wounds in my toe. it’s got a 99.9% chance of making these changes to my toenail width permanent, meaning i should never be plagued by a purple and sore toe just because my brittle nail broke the day before. im practically crying in relief as she takes pointed qtips dipped in this chemical and spin cycles them into the wounds like a pneumatic drill. she gets up and says i should think about the medical field if i dont get queasy at such an event, and i let in on my phobia to the room of her and the two nurses. theyre all clearly confused by the parameters of it as i tell them i have a tattoo and pierce my face, i just cant Look at a syringe or ill pass out. the doctor leaves and im left in her wake of calm as the nurses wrap my toe in bandages. theyre red. it looks like a clown nose for my foot.

i hobble out of the room and schedule my follow up for the other foot. i need a sharps bag taped around the lower portion of my sock because it’s raining as i climb the stairs of my apartment. i have had to piss like a motherfucker the entire procedure but was too afraid to interrupt. i cant wait for the rain to let up to take my socked foot up to the third floor.

my mother tells me its disgusting that i cant shower for the day. i go into my room, drink the rest of the twisted tea, and promptly fall asleep for four hours.

send tweet.

[cryinggameff]

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

[flame-cat]

a ramble about vegetal mans

this is probably far removed from canon but toriyama can suck my dick. my city now

soo the things i like. try to Convey with vegeta. are like, a sort of deeeep deep need to rely on people. wanting things but not knowing how to ask for them so just sorta. putting yourself to a point where they can tell without asking.. but also because you feel like you deserve it

like... theres sooo much guilt in there. guilt that he KNOWS he deserves. so its a kinda seesaw between feeling sorry for himself and being like 'i dont deserve to feel bad'

so its a sort of limbo/alternate timeline situation with where i put him. maybe like, if he had some more time to fester on earth without the androids and shit. he sorta takes time to reflect and realizes oh!!! im a piece of shit and should die actually! and it becomes a game of trying to improve self destructively while decieving himself into thinking hes just doing more of the same

and he has ptsd which. m. sucks big time. so when it gets to triggering things hes just kinda like HUH! OK! totally shuts down and doesnt move or respond and then acts like nothing happened

he doesnt... know who he is. hes friezas war machine, hes a saiyan, hes the prince, hes... hes on earth, where none of that matters. hes... kakarots rival? but kakarot doesnt seem to care about that

he obssesses unhealthily over his "rivalry" with goku, antagonizing him and trying to get him to just FIGHT!!! HIM!!! like LOOK HOW STRONG I AM KAKAROT!!! TOTALLY DANGEROUS! YOU SHOULD KILL ME! and it sort of turns self destructive, he stops fighting back as much and just kinda. takes it. loses himself in it. anything to just NOT THINK

because he thinks a lot, constantly overthinks everything, and its starting to feel like his brain is eating itself. so hed rather just die, and after all whats left for him? doesnt he deserve it?

and frieza. m. yeah hes not over that. doesnt like to think about it, blocked out so much shit, but it still affects him a ton. like someone says or does something that triggers him and hes just like what the FUCK was that????

very very prone to taking the blame. everything is his fault. anytime something goes wrong the world is ending and its because of him, but he cant let that show so it a bunch of quiet screaming for like, years

but he doesnt deal with ANYTHING so it just stretches and stretches and doesnt really snap. that stress just grows and grows and nothing happens and its torture but he doesnt KNOW what else to DO or how to just FIX IT, doesnt realize the cure to stress isnt more stress, and it just kinda piles up

until finally, fucking FINALLY, goku notices

and hes like dude. this isnt a fair fight. ive been indulging you here since you wanna fight me so bad but youre not even dodging me and youre gonna tell me why. and vegetas just like, spittin blood, all FUCK OFF AND KEEP HITTING and goku is like dude. no. you look terrible. and vegeta is all trying to get him to just STOP asking him things and goku is like no!!! >:( and finally, finally, FINALLY!

it snaps

and its a horrible feeling but a relief all at once, to just!!! let everything out!!! its like throwing up basically. and vegeta is TIRED and WEAK and FRUSTRATED and SO SO HURT and he just wants it to be over, just wants something, anything, wants to know what the fuck is going on and he feels like he just toppling head over heels into the abyss and he doesnt even know WHY

and goku is like. woah. ok. what the fuck. and is like... dude... its ok. and of course vegeta is like ITS NOT!!! ITS NOT OK!!! ITS NEVER GOING TO BE OK AND IT NEVER WAS OK!! and sorta realizes like. oh. yeah. his whole life has been a giant ball of "not ok" and woah, yeah, thats... fucked up

and um. yeah. ramble over

[n1chijou]

abc tag

rules: answer the questions, and tag blogs you would like to get to know better

tagged by:〈 @c-huuu 〉thank u rey!!!! u da best!!

A - age: 19!

B - birthplace: oregon

C - current time: 9:38pm

D - drink you last had: water

E - easiest person to talk to: hmm probably my friend claire! 

F - favourite songs: waaaaaaahhh ummm rn im into office lady by toshiki kadomatsu, cherry by rina sawayama, sunflower by rex orange county, 1998 truman by brockhampton + love trip by takako mamiya

G - grossest memory: STORY TIME one morning I was walking my parents skittish full sized greyhound bernie before school + I realize I ran out of poop bags. I spot a lady walking her 2 dogs and ask where they keep them! well she has 2 HUGE DOGS and one of them lunges at bernie, causing her to freak out and knock me the fuck over! the adrenaline and need to just like run away in shame makes me just be like “its ok!!!! im fine1!!!! :)” when the lady is fakely like “are u ok???” meanwhile at least 4/7 layers of skin have been removed from my right foot/ankle. I dont even notice how badly im bleeding and how deep the scrape is until I finally get to my apartment + am literally gushing blood. I dont like blood!!!!! so this is terrible!!!! it literally didnt heal for over a month + 4ish months later its still tender to touch and I have a massive discolored scar. it turned so many gross colors and would constantly reopen every time I walked (I was a cosmetology student at the time so I was ALWAYS standing) so I was just like constantly bleeding and hurting. I remember id have to wrap it w gauze....but then the gauze would fuse into the wound...and id have to............pull it off..........erwren2qrenpqerjkn2q32rn23iuoifnpejncmk

H - horror yes or horror no: horror yes! but also no bc i get stressed out lmao

I - in love: no but I WANNA BE

J - jealous: I guess!

K - kiss or be kissed: be kissed uwu

L - love at first sight or should I walk by again: idk i dont like the concept of love at first sight bc I like to start out in a relationship as friends first! I wanna see u grow! I wanna see how u react to conflict or adversity! I feel like -love at first sight- suggests that you jump into a relationship in a romantic context w/o really getting to know someone and I feel like its something thirsty straight guys would do....maybe im being overly analytic tho lmao

M - middle name: faith!

N - number of siblings: 1

O - one wish: employment!!!!!! please!!!

P - last person you called: my stepmom!

Q - question you are always asked: “is that a tattoo of the buster/master/??? sword?” ITS NOT

R - reasons to smile: my cat!!!!!

S - song you last sang: chinese restaurant by takako mamiya!

T - time you woke up: this morning I woke up at 7 and it was way harder than I would like to admit lol 

U - underwhelming experience: matador in smt 3....its the only thing I could think of im sorry,,,

V - vacation destination: somewhere where I dont have to do anything!!

W - worst habit: I HATE doing dishes....its my fatal flaw...please fix me..

X - x-ray: I think I got one when I was 6 and ate shit down a flight of concrete stairs lmao 

Y - your favourite food: hmm either dim sum style beef honeycomb or bun thit nuong w a big ol egg roll on top!! 

Z - zodiac sign: gemini

[shadowed-moonrise]

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

uh

uh

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

like

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

hi

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

oh

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

:(

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

:(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

oh

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

uh

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:(

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:(

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

mm

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

uh

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

uh

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross