#i still can’t believe i finished this i usually draw shit in one 2-8 hour session then move on forever

[sonic-adventure-3]

brothers :]

[fairest]

Sleeping through the siege: three dreams in a week of war & peace

1.

In his September 1939 journals, Albert Camus wondered where the war was. “Where does this absurd event show itself, except in the news bulletins we have to believe and the notices we have to read?”

In May 1940 he wrote, “The Stranger is finished.”

I doubt the truths of The Stranger, a book about blaming the fact you killed an Arab on the sun being in your eyes.

2.

I make coffee. Betsy and I feel like shit. Leo is fine, he just has pneumonia. We try to figure out if this current sickness is left over from the Covid, the cold, or if it’s the flu. We fail to understand. The current sickness is too much to hold in our heads or the bobbling head of the household. We don’t remember when our sickness started. We no longer know how long it’s lasted. That’s the way the sickness makers like it. For those who build the sickness, business is booming.

3.

I haven’t been this pissed off at America since March of 2003, and back then I was pissed off at everything. I can’t stop thinking about how things might be different if Bernie were president. Joe Biden stands up there in old glory. World War will be his “joeissance.” He talks about the “rules of war” like war is a game of Sorry! But nobody follows the rules when they play Sorry!, not really, you just kind of move around the board. This is what we mean when we say Trump & Biden are the same thing.

The worst voices of all are those like mine. Those I 100% agree with. Those who know the god’s honest truth.

4.

In the dumpling place, I hear two artistic-looking white college students ask themselves, “If they know anything about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.” They don’t. They text their friend Matt, who should know. Then they talk about the new season of Big fucking Brother.

Last week Leo, my six-year-old son, asked me if there was, “War that wasn’t Star Wars.” I loathe the beautification of war in Star Wars, but these days I shake like Ben Kenobi when Alderaan explodes.

Matt is still typing, the college kids say, slurping their soup.

Matt is still typing when the dumplings arrive.

5.

I am drawn to music that offers surprise attacks. The first Roger Sessions Piano Sonata. The cello in the second movement of Mozart’s “Dissonance” String Quartet. The final timpani in the Adagio of Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony.

When I clip the YouTube video of that final timpani, I notice it ends at the “9:11” mark.

6.

Betsy has a dream Jewish children are writing in sidewalk chalk Oseh shalom bimromav, Hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu, V’al kol Yisrael V’imru, and then Palestinian children come and write their prayer for peace, too, and the children leave their chalk drawings and walk off hand-in-hand.

In the dream Betsy knows the Palestinian prayer for peace, but when she wakes up, she doesn’t.

7.

I read the news. I buy the actual newspaper and tell myself I will only read news at night. I download news apps I’ve downloaded before, because I’m told by the App store I can just open.

Those who don’t read the news make me choke even more. They are usually the ones with central air conditioning.

8.

When there can be no peace is the time for peace.

9.

Yoram Kaniuk on, I think, the vastness of land in the United States:

“We drove along dirt roads between cliffs and blue and brown mountains for about five or six hours until we reached an isolated ranch surrounded by hundreds of acres of pasture and cows. I went to the foreman and as he gave me a tour I thought, I could put the entire State of Israel somewhere here in the middle of the ranch.”

10.

Always the drumbeats of war. The A1 snares of Taylor Swift. The below the fold snares of Gang Starr. The pots and pans of screamo bands that broke up in 2006 for unknown reasons. This war feels like those demos, a tape taped off another tape taped off another tape taped off another tape taped off another tape.

11.

Fred Moten:

After September 11th American imperial policy took no time off to mourn. We could have no share in that. No matter how much like that whatever we do is, no matter how many times we did things like that before that was done to us.

12.

I dream Hamas has gathered us in a cowshed and sent us against the walls. There are thousands of barns in this field and we wait. Hamas fighters enter our barn. They kill the cows first. I have my arms around my California cousins, my Florida aunt, my eyes are closed and I’m humming, I see the figure five in gold, I see the figure five in gold. They spare me. They spare my aunt. They kill my cousins. I’m in an airport Starbucks, removing the “ham” from an Egg McMuffin. I see a Pakistani woman holding a Guyanese child. The child is dead. The mother wailing. I recognize them from the barn.

13.

The poet Erich Kästner, in 1930:

“One day in the year 2003 a thousand airplanes fly from Boston loaded with gas and bacteria to kill all of humanity, because this is humanity’s only way of achieving the goal of world peace.”

14.

Matt is still typing.

15.

Sahir Ludhianvi, which, right now, sounds behind the times:

War is itself a problem. It isn’t the solution to any problem; Today it will offer fire and blood, And deliver hunger and want tomorrow.

16.

We go apple picking. We eat donuts. We enter the maze and get out of it. Leo rides a pony named Betty. He slides down the slide. He pumps on the swings. The rapper Billy Woods, watching his child swing on the swings, realized, “anything in the world could happen to him.” But the things happening to children right now are not things that will happen to my Leo. They somehow don’t even feel, right now, like the things happening to an African American like Billy Woods.

During the car ride home, Leo tells us he had a dream Ryder and Chase were having a contest on the swings. I get a little excited. I think he can sense there’s war outside of Star Wars. “Are Ryder and Chase enemies?” I ask. “No, Daddy” he says, “you know Ryder and Chase are the same.” So he does understand war.

[hydroponicjj]

No Body, No Crime [2]

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Female!Peterkin!Reader

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Mentions of Drugs/Alcohol, Swearing, etc

Summary: Rafe is finding himself having trouble trusting Y/N, even after what she did for him.

A/N: Hello! This is the second chapter of No Body, No Crime. Please enjoy and, let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist! <3

「 ₊˚.༄ 」

The entire drive over to Topper's made you extremely nervous. Your stomach felt as if it was in a knot that couldn't be undone.

It only got worse when you began to recognize the scenery of Figure 8.

It was unusual of you to be so anxious.

Usually, you’re hyper-focused. You don’t have time to worry about all the possible things that could go wrong but, Rafe made you feel different.

Typically, the two of you would only interact in passing. Oftentimes in the kitchen at his house when you needed him to help you reach something on the top shelf.

Now, you’re about to see each other in a brand new light. Going from strangers to...

Honestly, you didn’t really know how to classify this blossoming relationship, considering it hasn’t started yet.

Turning a corner into a neighborhood, you recognized Topper's mansion almost immediately.

It was the second house on the right with pillars and a baby blue door. There were tiny American flags pitched in the yard with small lights showcasing their entrance.

There were so many cars parked on the street and in the driveway that it was nearly impossible for you to get close without clipping a vehicle.

Finding a good spot near the sidewalk, you emerged from your car, making sure to check that it was locked (a habit you learned from your mother).

Drawing closer to the front door, you spotted Rafe.

He was sitting ominously in a rocking chair on the porch, looking out into the yard.

"Hey." You called out. He broke from his intense gaze and glanced at you.

"Shit, I totally forgot that you were coming." He pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his head.

"Well, I'm here so.." You trailed off, taking a seat next to him.

Instantly, Rafe began to draw away from you. You noticed but refrained from commenting on it, not knowing what his problem was.

It wasn't long after that the tension started to fill the air. You’re usually the one keeping your distance from him, not vice versa.

“Are-Are you going to say anything?” You asked, nervously.

You had no idea what made his energy shift from the last time you spoke to him but, this wasn’t the same Rafe that you saw that afternoon.

“What do you want me to say?” He replied sharply, glancing over in your direction.

You were taken aback by him, “Rafe. You asked me to meet you here. I have no idea what the hell is going on. So, I just— I wanna know what’s happening.”

He froze, inhaling deeply. It was clear that he was searching for the right words to say that would get his message across.

“Y/N, I don’t trust you. You might be Sarah’s best friend but, you’re also the sheriffs' daughter.” His voice was cold and distant.

He genuinely viewed you as some kind of threat. Less than 7 hours ago, he was more than willing to rope you into whatever he had going on, and now, you’re just a burden to him.

You scoffed, “You seemed pretty happy to get your drugs back this afternoon. Was I the sheriffs' daughter then?”

“I stole from my mom, Rafe. That’s not something you just do for fun. Especially when you have a lot to lose on your end, okay. So, if I rat you out, I’m going down too.”

Guilt instantly flashed behind his blue eyes. It was evident as his features began to soften and he lowered his eyebrows.

He began to speak but, you cut him off, “Listen, Rafe, I don’t expect us to go out and get matching tattoos anytime soon but, we have to learn to trust each other, or else this thing isn’t going to work.”

He chuckled lightly, flashing you a crooked smile, “Yeah.” Rafe replied simply.

The loud booming of music coming from inside filled the silence.

“Didn’t you graduate high school yesterday?” Rafe asked, quirking his head to the side.

“Yeah... I-I did.” You replied, still surprised.

You weren’t valedictorian like your mother planned but, you were pretty damn close. Still, it wasn’t enough to satisfy Susan Peterkin so, you spent the entirety of graduation sulking.

You didn’t even get a chance to enjoy your High School graduation.

A sour taste formed in your mouth as your throat began to get tighter by the second.

Rafe noticed your sudden discomfort, “Well, you’re at a party. Why don’t you go inside and have fun? Celebrate the milestone.”

“You should celebrate too. I mean- finishing your first year of college.” You acknowledged, awkwardly trying to shift the conversation toward him.

“I took a gap year. Too many things to do and not enough time.” He shrugged.

You were so entranced by the way Rafe spoke. He wasn’t like you, who felt the need to give the deepest, most profound explanation for everything.

He was simple.

You liked simple.

Standing up, you extended your hand in his direction, “Come on,” you paused, grabbing him by the wrist, “We’re going inside.”

“No no no,” he protested, “I already told my friends I was leaving so,” Rafe resisted your grasp, staying firmly in his seat.

“I think we can handle Topper and Kelce.” You scoffed, giving him a playful look.

Rafe knit his eyebrows together, contemplating. It had already been an extremely long night. But, he was having a hard time pulling out the response from his chest.

"Shitttt," He drew out, "What the hell. It'd be nice to see you pull the stick out of your ass and relax."

Eyes lighting up and a smile tugging on your lips, you yanked on his wrist again. This time, he rose from the rocking chair, peering down at you, "Don't make me regret this, Peterkin."

"How could you possibly regret anything when you're with me?" You sent him a sly wink.

Twisting the front-door handle, you entered the Thorton household.

Your senses were instantly triggered. Your ears struggled to determine which was louder, the music or screaming of teenagers. Your eyes reacted to the fluorescent light projected on the ceiling.

The scent was absolutely putrid. Sweaty bodies and alcohol were not a good mixture, not under any circumstances.

"Ugh," Covering your nose with your right hand, you peered back at Rafe. He seemed completely fine.

This was normal for him.

Watching as he maneuvered around this situation with such ease inspired you.

Rafe was a complete mystery to you. Although with every interaction, he became less of a riddle, it was still a challenge trying to figure him out.

Abruptly, someone from behind you yelled, tearing you from your trance, "I said that you'd be back!"

Turning around, you saw Kelce and Topper making their way towards the two of you.

"Yeah, yeah," Rafe responded, playfully, drifting closer to his two friends.

A mere seconds later, Topper noticed you standing at a feeble 1 and a half feet shorter than Rafe.

"Holy shit," He gasped, "A-Are my eyes deceiving me, or is Y/N Peterkin at a party?"

This caught Kelce's attention and, he certainly couldn't resist making a sly comment, "How's your mom? Is she still 6 feet up the Pogues ass or....?"

Scoffing, you began to walk away but, something caught your shoulder.

"Listen, she's a bitch but, not as nearly as much as you think." Rafe defended.

You couldn't help but laugh, “Thanks.”

Yes, it was a shitty, backhanded compliment. But, it was coming from Rafe Cameron so, that's the best you're gonna get.

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it," Commented Kelce, turning his head to look around at the scenery.

“Rafe,” Topper paused, “Are you trying to get even more fucked up tonight?”

Glancing at Rafe, you noticed how tired he looked. Drooping eyes and hunched shoulders gave away how he was feeling.

“No, he has other priorities on his mind.” You chimed in.

“Ohhhhhhhh.” Kelce raised his eyebrows.

Wiggling two fingers between the two of you, “Are you guys....? You know?”

“Shut the fuck up, Kelce. You’re a goddamned idiot.” Rafe rolled his eyes, pushing his friend lightly.

“Relax. I’m not gonna swoop in on your girl. Just curious who you’re fucking this week.”

Glancing up at Rafe, he appeared extremely fed up with the current conversation.

“Come on, man,” Topper said, pulling Kelce by the shoulder, “Let’s leave these two alone. I’m sure they’ve got loads of shit to catch up on.”

The two walked out of the entryway, side by side, and floated right back into the epicenter of the party.

“Why do you do that?” You questioned, almost instantly.

Looking in your direction, he responded, “What are you talking about?”

Sighing, you began, “You willingly hang out with Dumb and Dumber,”

“You could be surrounded by people that are on the same intellectual level as you. Yet, you surround yourself with people like those 2 that are only interested in being so high that they can’t remember their name.”

Rafe shook his head, “It doesn’t matter.”

There he goes again. Being simple. Summing up everything he has to say in a mere 3 words.

"He deserves better than that." You thought but didn't say.

In your head, you could see Rafe walking away from the conversation and, you wanted him as close as possible (because you're not used to parties.... no other reason.... of course).

"This is stressing me out," You commented jokingly, running your hands through your hair.

If you weren't so hyperaware of your surroundings, you would've missed the way that Rafe was glancing at you.

He looked as if he was trying to decipher what was going on in your head.

“Come on.” He nodded his head in the direction of the living room (aka where 90% of the party-goers were).

You grinned slightly, “I was deprived of partying my entire 4 years of High School. I don’t think I should start now.”

You turned around and sat on the love seat in the Thornton entryway.

“You dragged me back in here so, the least you could do is sway your hips to some shitty music.”

“Maybe.” You smirked, teasing him.

“Alright, I’ll find Topper and Kelce. I’m sure they’ve got something interesting for me.” Rafe began to exit the room.

“Fine,” you rose from your seat immediately, catching his attention.

You shook your head in disapproval, “So manipulative.”

A smug look was plastered on Rafe’s face, “Yeah, well.... it worked.”

He shrugged and sent you a smirk.

「 ₊˚.༄ 」

You had never felt so free in your entire life.

It was surprising that such a wild atmosphere made you feel a sense of comfort and enjoyment, rather than fear and anxiety.

Maybe it was the fact that you clung to Rafe for the majority of the time.

He was such a social hotspot.

People of all ages and demographics were speaking to him. He kept the conversations brief and, it was clear that he wasn't very interested.

Nevertheless, he was dragged into a game of beer pong, and (with the help of Topper and Kelce) he agreed to play BUT, only if you did.

At first, you were hesitant, having no idea how to play but, there was something inside of you that hated the thought of saying no to Rafe.

You indulged him and decided to play, with the exception that you didn't drink, considering that you had to drive back home to the Cut.

It took a few tries for you to actually get the hang of things but, Rafe helped a lot.

He would often adjust your form, wrapping his arm around your waist and tugging you in another direction.

It made you nervous yet excited having him in such close proximity to you, whispering in your ear which direction to throw the ball.

Ultimately, the two of you ended up winning against Topper and Kelce (who were pissed that they lost to such an inexperienced player).

That was the beginning of the fun.

After that, you didn't feel the need to cling to Rafe as tight as you had been before.

You went off and had conversations with people that didn't go to your High School, which also meant they had no clue who your mother was.

You used to be extremely familiar with Figure 8 and you often found yourself missing it from time to time.

It was very nice to be able to surround yourself with people that weren't foaming at the mouth to run and tell your mother everything they saw.

It wasn't until you began to dance, swaying your hips to the beat that Rafe found you again.

"Y/N, I--I need a ride home." He began, speaking in a low but rushed tone.

"What?!" You yelled, not being able to hear him over the music.

You took a glance at him and, he looked horrible.

His eyes were extremely red and he reeked of alcohol and plenty of other illegal substances.

Not only that but, Rafe seemed extremely jittery. Almost as if something bad was going to happen if he didn't leave immediately.

Seeing the stress of the situation, you gripped Rafe by the arm and tugged him out of the hectic scene and into the nearest quiet room.

Finding a bathroom right before the kitchen, the two of you entered.

You sat him on the edge of the tub, crouching in front of him.

"Rafe," You paused, clutching the sides of his face, "Look at me. What's going on?"

Opening his eyes, he began to speak, "Please, just, please. Take me home." He buried his head into your shoulder.

You were stunned by his actions, having no idea what drug he took that made him act like that.

But, now was not the time to question Rafe, he needed your help and after all the progress the two of you made that evening, you weren't going to leave him behind.

"O-okay, okay. Yes, I'll take you home."

You stood up, continuing to hold his arm, afraid that he'd fall back into the tub.

"Rafe, can you stand? Can you walk?" You asked.

He nodded then rose, towering over you.

"Here," You directed him towards the sink, "Splash some cold water onto your face, okay?"

He did as you told him, gathering a scoop of water in his palms and splattered it onto his face.

After, he seemed slightly more coherent but, not nearly enough.

The two of you emerged from the bathroom. You were still clung to his arm, leading him in the direction of the exit.

Once, you left the inside of the house, you were bombarded with cars from all angles.

It then hit you that you had to park on the street.

As you led Rafe down the infinitely long driveway, you cursed in your head, upset at the universe for making you work against gravity in order to keep him from face-planting.

Finally, making it to your car, you reached in your pocket and unlocked it.

Opening the door to the passenger's side, you plopped Rafe in the seat and buckled him in.

You ran around the front of the car, trying to get back to Rafe as soon as possible.

"Rafe, do you have everything? Your phone, wallet, keys?"

"Mhm." He replied, setting his head on the back of the seat.

With that, you took one last glance at Rafe and put the car in drive.

「 ₊˚.༄ 」

Pulling into the driveway, you noticed that the Cameron household was quiet.

The only light coming from inside was the glare of the TV from Wheezie's room.

"Rafe, we're here." You said, shaking him. He had fallen asleep seconds after you started driving.

He didn't waste any time getting out of the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door, he headed in the direction of the garage.

As he approached, it opened.

"I know they're rich but, damn, motion detected garage?" You commented, continuing to watch, making sure Rafe made it inside safely.

It wasn't until you started saw him stop that you noticed a figure standing in front of him.

It was Ward Cameron.

"Shit."

You knew Ward was going to give Rafe crap for staying out late, partying so, the least you could do was try and cover for him.

Emerging from your car, you walked towards the garage.

"Rafe, I need you to do it, okay? I don't want Sarah getting involved-" You caught the end of what Ward was saying before he stopped.

"Y/N!" He greeted, a smile on his face.

"Hey, Mr.Cameron." You waved awkwardly, sending a forced smile.

"Thank you so much for bringing this one home," He grabbed Rafe by the shoulder, pulling him into a side hug.

"No problem! I just needed his help with some things. The least I could do was take him home." You replied.

"Yeah, yeah," Ward nodded his head, looking back at the door.

"Listen, Y/N, thanks for putting in a good word with your mom. We really appreciate it."

"I'm sorry?" You knit your eyebrows in confusion.

"I got a call from the station today saying the charges against Rafe had been dropped. All of us are so thrilled that we can resume a normal life and move past this." He placed a hand on his chest.

You had no idea what he was talking about. Your mom wasn't home yet. There was no way she could've seen the drugs had been taken from her safe yet.

But, you had to play it cool, not wanting Ward to ask any questions "Sure, sure." you answered.

"Okay, welp," He paused, "Have a nice night, Y/N. Come by tomorrow and see us." Ward finished, hurridly.

With that, he turned around swiftly and went back inside his house, through the garage door.

That entire interaction was odd. You had never seen Ward act so tense.

Also, you couldn't help but wonder what was so urgent that Sarah couldn't do?

It had been less than 24 hours and, you're already wrapped up in things you couldn't begin to comprehend.

"I need to sleep."

Walking back to your car, you entered the driver's seat.

Putting the car in reverse, you exited the Cameron house and began your journey back to the Cut.

TAGLIST *strikethrough it won’t let me tag*: @oopsiedoopsie23 @a-bolanos @cocobutterqween @gabiatthedisco @athenastarkey @halsmultibitch @water13 @avaspringtime @niamhvivo @haterpenny @nerdypartytrashpsychic @casually-kook @mynameberose @malfoylaufeysonweasley

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[cosmicbash]

One the angsty prompt ideas I’ve been thinking about is Kells practicing how to cook for weeks so he can surprise Em by cooking him dinner, maybe for an anniversary or something, and on the day Kells has planned to surprise him, Em is hours late, leaving Kells alone for the evening. If you’re interested maybe you could write something like this? 🥰

3 years together. One thousand and ninety five fucking days between him and this old dorky man.

It's insane. Downright impossible to believe but Colson knows it's as real and true as the 2 year sobriety chip he's got hung around his neck on the gold chain Marshall gifted him with it this morning.

Both their relationship and his sobriety are as intertwined as their lives are now. Marshall's like the glue that holds all of his pieces together. Picking Colson back up, time and time again whenever he shattered in the beginning and filling in the gaps with his own loose pieces until it was Colson's turn to do the same. Which, by then, it only made sense to combine their puzzles and broaden the picture.

Now Marshall swoops in for Casie's PTA meetings he can’t make during tour. Holding the phone and helping him FaceTime for soccer games and school conferences when flight delays or bad luck keeps him late.

Colson tags along to Whitney's first few dates out in LA, weaving through the public spaces Marshall never could without drawing attention just to make sure she's safe and respected.

They tag team any situation involving the girls, even though Alaina and Hailey both still snicker at him from time to time, and Casie rolls her eyes at Marshall's rules. They're more than just dating now.

They're family.

And even just thinking about that brings tears to Colson's eyes.

Or maybe it's the onions. Baze said chewing gum helped mitigate this fucking problem but goddammit does it burn-

"Fuck!"

He has no idea how he got it in his mind that he could actually cook a meal, let alone a full anniversary dinner for Marshall but here he is. A pot and pan already cooking on the stove and his fingers knicked a dozen times in his rush to cut up more veggies for the sauce. 

It's insane.

But Colson's following through with it anyway, because he fucking loves Marshall and that bastard cooks dinner for them every single holiday or occasion so it's about time he stepped up to the plate and did it himself. 

Plus he's been secretly practicing for weeks with Baze over both FaceTime and a few in person lessons. Perfecting his simmering styles and meat seasoning to make the tastiest meal he can manage all on his own.

So far the last three times he's made the dish his bassist had given stellar reviews so there's little chance he'll somehow fuck it up tonight knowing it's for Marshall…..at least, he hopes.

The minor setbacks his butchered fingers have brought aside though, so far everything was coming along perfectly. His noodles are boiling (never over the rim, thank you wooden spoon trick), his meats marinating, and as soon as he tosses these sliced onions in his sauce will be cooking down beautifully.

All in all the night is starting to look like it just might be perfect.

Until 6 o'clock passes by and Colson's ears never pick up the click of the front door knob, or the hum of Marshall's escalade pulling up front outside.

The food's still simmering, minutes away from being actually done so he doesn't worry too much. Sure he was hoping to have a sweet moment where his boyfriend comes home and catches him cooking at the stove like a traditional housewife, but seeing his face when the food's done and plated promises to be just as cute.

Besides, Marshall has always fit the housewife role so much better than him anyway. Even the apron Colson's wearing is one of the older rapper's, stolen from his small collection in the pantry to protect his designer sweater.

Colson doesn't start to worry at 6. Traffic can be a bitch.

7 though? And then 7:30 when his texts go unread and his calls ring all the way through to voice-mail? That's when the blonde starts to fret. 

He's luckily put off plating because some brief flash on uncertainty had run through him after the food finished so it's stayed warm and simmering on the stove. But even that had to come to an end before 7:30 because his sauce would singe or his noodles might squish, so now Colson's trying to keep busy by perfecting the presentation. Shaky fingers swiping around the edges of Marshall's plate to clean up a splatter of sauce. Every Chopped Judge rambling off feedback in his head until he has it looking like something he's certain even Gordon fucking Ramsey would ask for a bite of.

By 8 the dinner table is set. His plate, Marshall's, the bucket of low alcoholic wine they both love chilling as a centerpiece. Colson even lights a few candles and adds some flowers from this mornings gift exchanges to keep himself from screaming.

There's a pit in his stomach that's steadily been growing though. Every passing minute and glance to his phone where he finds no change only carving it deeper. 

Marshall should be home. He never runs this late at the studio without a call, let alone without a message. He's treated his work like any other 9-5 job since before they ever even got together, always strict about his routine and careful to make up for over run hours by leaving earlier the next day. Usually Colson likes to bust his balls and insist he live a little more spontaneously but tonight isn't the one to pull that.

Especially not if it means Marshall's going to completely forget to check his fucking phone and leave him trying not to think the worst.

Colson only males it another 5 minutes before he caves and texts Paul. Fingers tapping fast across his screen to draft multiple desperate sounding messages before he finally settles on a "Em bust his phone again?" That feels just casual enough to not embarrass him in the off chance Marshall decides to burst through the front door seconds after it sends.

The door stays closed though and Paul doesn't open the message at all. 

Now Colson can't even start passive aggressively eating dinner on his own if he wanted too. The pit in his stomach has torn itself open wide into a nauseous chasm. Every scary possibility he wanted to avoid thinking about spilling forth from the dark trench like ghouls.

He's dead. Some crazy fan broke into the studio and shot the whole place up. No one's gotten around to tell him yet, that's all. They're too busy dealing with the fallout.

No, Em's security is beyond top tier, and with how close Colson and his current bodyguard are he knows the guy would call him immediately. Marshall's fine.

Unless… what if he was in a car accident? Or some road rage incident gone fatal? Colson's seen Marshall's short temper flare up while driving. They've made dozens of jokes about it in the past, so is it really that unreasonable to believe?

Colson's pacing in the front haul when he calls Porter. Phone tucked between his ear and shoulder while he fights his shoe laces, heart racing in his chest. Prepping to fly out of the house the second Denaun tells him what fucking hospital Marshall's staying in, praying it's at the ICU section and not some fucking morgue.

"Kelly?" The older man sounds confused when he finally answers. Voice high and tone light like he's expecting this to be a butt dial. "What's up man?"

The lack of rush or worry in Denaun's voice almost soothes Colson's panic right on the spot. Surely he wouldn't sound so casual if something had happened. 

It's enough to keep Colson from immediately pleading for Marshall's safety at the least. "H-hey, uh nothing really-" Maybe Marshall is even with him right now, realizing how fucking late its gotten and how shit of a boyfriend he's been and that's why Denaun sounds awkward too. "Just uh, waiting for Marsh to get his slow ass home ya know? Sorry, aheh, I'm probably sounding like a fucking needy girlfriend right now, calling his friends and shit-" the longer Colson rambles the more embarrassed he actually feels in the moment.

God he must sound pathetic right now. Panicking over Marshall being a few hours late.

"Waiting? Didn't Marshall head out like 2 hours ago?"

"W-what?"

Colson's blood feels like actual ice in his veins.

"He isn't home? I mean, I know he was gonna stop at- fuck is it already half past 8? Marshall seriously isn't home?" Denaun's sudden panic only heightens Colson's own, but he can't get any more words to come out. Not with how a rock feels like it's jumped up his throat. "Shit, Ryan are you getting through to him? Try Paul-"

Ryan's there too? 

"What? Paul's gotta fucking answer-"

They can't get ahold of Paul either?

"Kelly have you-"

Marshall's missing. Colson's been standing around making dinner for hours, worrying over the portion sizes and appearance of his plates and Marshall's been fucking missing. What kind of partner is he? What will he even tell Hailey? Alaina? And fuck Casie is supposed to be coming up this weekend so they can all go vacation together before his next tour-

The front door bumping into his shoe startles Colson out of his frozen panic. Denaun's angry shouting dropping from his ear, as he twists and meets a pair of sheepish blue eyes peeking around the hardwood.

"Hey." 

Marshall's…..

"Is that my apron?"

So fucking dead.

"Is this your--" Colson's fingers are curling around the edge of the door so fast he doesn't even care that it makes his phone fly to the floor. "That's what you want to fucking say to me!?" His anger is boiling fast, replacing the cold in his veins with lava. "You fucking piece of-"

Marshall stumbling inside with the yanked door is expected, but the flash of bandages and a sling douse Colson's flames like a bucket of water. "Ow, fuck just give me a second to explain-"

He's hurt.

Now with all of Marshall visible Colson's hyperaware of dry blood splattered on his white graphic tee and scratches partially hidden within the rapper's beard along his cheek. "I got in an accident out on the M-8, it was minor but-"

Colson really can't handle all these rapid mood switches Marshall is putting him through today.

“You fucking idiot-“ Tears are bubbling up in his eyes and it’s like his hands can’t reach his partner fast enough. Pulling Marshall into his arms for a tight hug despite the pained noises his actions inspire. “Stupid, old asshole-“ Marshall’s hurt, the cars probably wrecked, but he’s home and that’s enough of a relief to finally smother that pit weighing down his stomach. “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

A moment passes before he’s hugged back, shock more than likely freezing his partner up but when Marshall does loop his good arm around Colson he pulls him close. So close Colson is the one who’s bones feel like they might ache. “Can’t make any promises about that,” The older rapper’s palm feels warm when it climbs to cup his neck, Marshall’s face turning to press a kiss into Colson’s throat. 

That brush of lips is the final crack to release the flood gates.

"I love you."

"I know."

"I really really fucking love you."

"I know baby."

"I don't care how old your ass is, you better hold out and fucking die after me like a proper goddamn boyfriend, you hear me Marshall?" He's getting snot all over the older rapper's shirt. Full on smearing it across his own cheek and the fabric with every pointless rub of his face. "I love you so fucking much. Can't do this without you."

"Told you I'm not dying after you unless you kill me first, and I'm chasing you into the afterlife once you do go too. Fuck all the marriage shit, death ain't parting us either you brat." Marshall's tone is light and his palm is doing wonders to comfort him by rubbing circles into his back. It's enough to slow his hiccupped breathing down a few notches. "I dunno if you noticed but, I'm a little obsessed with you."

That drags out a wet snort. "Y-yeah?" When Colson pulls back to meet Marshall's eyes he swears he can see a wet shimmer starting to glaze over his partner’s as well. "Prove it then."

There's a flicker of something in blue eyes, so fast that Colson almost thinks he hallucinates the emotion altogether. But then Marshall's wrapped up arm wiggles between their bodies. The dark blue of the sling catching and sliding so his scratched up fist can shimmy its way partially out. "Planned on it-" There's something clutched tight there, black peeking out from between Marshall's finger and thumb. It's got Colson's heart dropping down into his stomach all over again. "What do you think I was driving so late on the M-8 for?"

"Marshall-" It can't be.

"Colson." But his shithead of an accident victim boyfriend is pulling back, both his good arm and slung arm awkwardly flailing in the air for a moment as he drops down on one knee. The visible wince not hidden as well as Colson imagines the man wants it to be. But Marshall's eyes are softening, and the blonde feels completely cemented in place. The only part of him moving being the uncontrollable shaky quiver of his bottom lip. "I had a whole moment planned, there were flowers, balloons, and those stupidly expensive alcoholic chocolates you love, but they all got absolutely trashed in the crash. Like, half of Detroit is probably going to think the Macies Thanksgiving parade started early. Paul called to have it all replaced, and honestly some intern is probably going to come banging on the door in about 20 minutes but I don't want to wait-" There's a flash of genuine worry that's furrowing the skin between Marshall's brows as he continues. "So I'm sorry this isn't gonna be that fancy perfect proposal you've always dreamed of-"

"Shut up." Colson's voice can't go above a whisper. His tone quick and clipped from how anxious he is to hear the man finally finish. "Just- shut up, ask me. Ask me Marsh, please-"

"Fine, always need to rush me."The rapper's lip quirks at the corners. Hands transferring the small box between eachother with a bit of fumbling. "Will you, Colson Baker-" Until Marshall can finally get it open with an audible clunk. "Legally commit to being with my annoying old ass forever?" 

[ryttu3k]

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

[outer-bnks]

Two Burning Hearts Are Dared To Break (JJ x OC) Ch. 5

Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

In which Elle finds a drunk Rafe on the beach after her fight with JJ and turns to him for comfort.

Warning: mild swearing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of being drunk/intoxicated

A/N: this gif is something else!!! Drew Starkey deserves more scenes in s2, just saying!! Was really fun to write Rafe as a big softie and explore their history together. Elle doesn’t know that Rafe killed the Sheriff. This chapter gives a little bit more info on Elle’s background and her relationships with the other characters. Also this chapter kind of made me wonder whether Rafe would be a good match for Elle. 

Who should she end up with, JJ, Rafe or Topper? Let me know.

Word count: 2k

She had ended up at the beach at the bottom of her house. It wasn’t a surprise that this is where she’d end up, the water glowing in the moonlight, the waves calmly washing onto the shore. It had been a few hours since she had left JJ’s house, her mind still reeling over what had happened between them. The tears had long gone, but the churning in her stomach felt like it wasn’t ever going to end. Watching her feet as she walked along the water's edge, she heard quiet muttering coming from the beneath the tree line. 

Walking towards the sound cautiously, she caught sight of a figure moving up into a sitting position, “Hello?”, the mystery person sounded. She recognised that voice, sighing at the realisation. 

“Rafe? What’re you doing here?” Elle questioned as she moved to inspect the situation more, his face coming into focus.

“What does it look like?” he responded, arms out wide. Elle remained silent, taking note of his tear-stained face and the slight vulnerability that came through in his voice.

“Want some?” he offered, outstretching his hand holding up an almost empty bottle of whiskey. She shook her head, taking a seat next to him, holding her bent legs close to her chest. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“What’s up with you?” he asked confusedly.

Keeping her eyes on the water so as to not give her emotions away, she asked “What do you mean?”

“Well aren’t you supposed to be with your Pogue friends in The Cut, instead of sitting here with a kook, drinking Whiskey on Wednesday night?”. He was right. She should be with her friends right now, grieving, sharing memories, eating, Elle would’ve been happy doing anything with them right now. 

She remained quiet, moving her gaze away from the water to her feet in the sand, not able to find the courage to open up to Rafe of all people yet.

“Did something happen?” he asked softly, wary of pressing too hard, after picking up on her defeated body language.

She scoffed, “You could say that”.

He studied her side profile for a minute, “Do you wanna talk about it?”.

Elle let out a short chuckle. Never would she have imagined that she would be sitting next to a drunk Rafe considering telling him about her feelings.

So instead of doing just that, she put her defences up, sarcasm seeping into her tone “As if you care Rafe”.

He sighed, “I know I’ve been a dick-”

“You could say that again”           

“but… things are different now”

“So what, I’m just supposed to forgive and forget all the times you’ve come after us? You, Kelce and Topper have nearly killed us, on more than one occasion”, she snapped, her eyes narrowing to finally look at him.

Rafe swallowed, his throat working at the seriousness in Elle’s tone. And although he was drunk and couldn’t form coherent thoughts, he felt himself sobering up at her words.

“No. You’re not. You shouldn’t forgive me at all. But you’re one of the only people who would actually understand how I feel right now, and it seems to me that you need someone just as much as I do”, his voice quieting at the last part of his sentence.

Elle searched his eyes, for the smallest glimmer of insincerity, silence falling upon them once again.

“It’s just that. Usually when I need someone to talk to, I go to John B. And now that he’s, um, gone, I don’t know who to turn to” she blurted out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Rafe masked his surprise at her outburst with sympathy, “Can you not talk to the others?”

“Hard to talk to them about the issue when they’re apart of it”, she sighed, twirling with the rings on her right hand. It was one of her nervous habits that she did without realising, along with playing with her earrings. 

His eyebrows raised, finally understanding what she was upset about, “Oh”.

He paused for a minute, trying to gather his sober words amongst his drunk thoughts, “Maybe just give it some time? From what I’ve seen, you guys are like...real friends. That doesn’t just disappear after one fight”.

Elle nodded, his words somewhat comforting her.

They both looked back out to the water, a calmness washing over the both of them.

“Do you ever think that they might still be alive?”, he mumbled, taking another swig from the whiskey bottle.

She sucked in a breath, surprised at his question. Everyone was still too sensitive to talk about John B and Sarah, which made it hard for Elle to process her thoughts and emotions about the whole situation.

It was her turn to study his side profile, watching for any emotions to arise, “Yeah, sometimes. But holding on to that slim possibility, I don’t think it will do us too much good”, she confessed.

He nodded, looking at her quickly before turning back to the water, not wanting to see her reaction when he admitted this. “It was my fault”.

“What?” Elle questioned, her eyebrows furrowing.

“She’s my little sister. I was supposed to protect her. I’m supposed to protect my family”, his tone was rising, his frustration shining through.

She held a calm and steady voice, “Rafe, it’s not your fault.” 

“Yes it is Elle! I’m the reason they got on that damn boat and drove into the storm.”

“Rafe you can’t think like that. You’ll tear yourself apart!”

“A little too late for that”, he scoffed. He ran both hands through his hair before resting his arms back onto the top of his bent knees.

Elle felt an urge to open up to him. To tell him about everything that she was feeling, about her grief and her anger and her loneliness.

She shifted in her position, moving into a crossed legged position. “JJ and I had a fight”.

Rafe waited for her to continue.

“He does this thing, when things become too much for him, he pulls away and tries to shut himself off. Usually you just need to give him time to cool off and he comes back to you. But I don’t know-” Elle shook her head “this time felt different.”

The words that came next didn’t need much preparation, “Well these circumstances are different Elle, he probably just doesn’t know how to cope. I’m sure he’ll come back to you. I doubt he’d ever give you up by choice, that kid’s like in love with you”, he finished, laughing lightly.

Elle laughed, stunned by his response, “What? No he’s not!”.

He shook his head, knowing she’d deny it. “Come on Elle, you’d have to blind- or just stupid, to not be able to see that he is head over heels for you”, he turned, watching as a glimmer of hope flickered in her eyes.

“Nah Rafe, you’re being dramatic”.

“Whatever you wanna believe Elle, but trust me on this,” he paused, maintaining eye contact with for, “if I had someone who cared about me the way that you care about him, I’d never let that go”.

Elle felt her heart swell slightly. Rafe hadn’t been this kind or honest to her, in a long time. She gave him a close-lipped smile, grateful for his words.

Elle watched as the wheels in his head turned, waiting for what question was coming next. Her and Rafe used to be good at this, at sitting and talking and asking each other questions about their lives. 

When Rafe landed on the one he wanted to ask, he turned to her again, his eyes glazed over from his intoxicated state. “Is it fun being a Pogue?”

She took a minute to think about his question,“When you’re a Kook who doesn’t have to worry about money it’s fun. Why do you ask?”

He broke his gaze from her, looking down to the sand, drawing shapes into it with his index finger, “You guys just seem so… carefree?”. His statement came out more like a question.

“I guess. It’s easy for me to be carefree because I come from a privileged background, but uh, for the boys, there’s definitely a lot more to it. Can’t be all that carefree when you have to work 24/7 just to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head”. Her mind flashed back to JJ, the way it always seems to.

He brushed the sand off from his hand, “You know, if I was sober I definitely wouldn’t be saying this but” Elle’s heart quickened for a moment, worried about where this confession was going- “I have a lot of respect for you.”

She couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Respect? Ever since I left the Kook Academy you’ve bullied the shit out of me”. Although what she had said was of a usually serious topic, Elle kept the smile on her face, amused by this conversation.

Rafe nodded, “I know I know. But leaving this lifestyle to be with people who you actually love, that makes you a far better person than I’ll ever be.” He hoped she wouldn’t question him further, he wasn’t ready to hurt her more than she already seemed to be.

Thankfully, she didn’t, “Never too late to be a good person Rafe”

Moments of silence passed before Rafe sighed addressing the elephant in the room, “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“I’m sorry too,” she responded, sincerity in her tone.

Rafe’s face contorted out of confusion, “What are you sorry for?”

“Well, after everything that happened with Archer, I kind of just... got up and left you guys” she said, bowing her head to look down at the sand.

He understood what she meant. Her departure from their friendship group had been abrupt, but for a good reason. He let out a soft laugh,“I don’t blame you, he was a piece of shit”.

“Yeah he was, but we were friends.” 

“How do you trust people again after what happened with him?’’ he questioned quietly, afraid to open old wounds.

“Rafe we had a shitty relationship, it’s not like he ruined my life entirely” she laughed.

“It was more than a shitty relationship Elle. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. And I should’ve told you about her as soon as I found out about it all”. Elle detected regret in his words, but the usual anger that she felt when thinking about Archer and her was absent. Even though it was an emotionally draining time for Elle, life seemed so much lighter back then compared to now.

“Can’t argue with that one.” she shot back, adding in a laugh to let him know that she wasn’t angry.

“Rafe-” she paused, unsure if she wanted to know the answer, “how long did you know about them before I found out?”.

“Uhm,” he hesitated, “maybe like 5 months?” he confessed regrettably.

Elle nodded her head slowly, processing his answer.

“If it’s any consolation, I beat the shit out of him for you”

Elle broke out into laughter. “Yeah I don’t doubt that, but thanks, I guess?”

His face broke out into a full smile, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him smile like that, let alone be the reason for it. 

“You’re welcome.”

A cool breeze washed over Elle making her shiver, deciding that now was probably a good time to get drunk Rafe home. “Hey, we should probably get out of here”.

“Yeah you’re right, I can feel my hangover coming already”.

Elle got out her phone, unlocking it and searching for one of the numbers she never thought she’d have to call again after leaving the Academy- Topper Thornton. 

-----

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[waejinyoung]

Can’t Swim - EP . 5

word count: 4.4k+

a/n: a quicker comeback unlike last time. i know the ending might annoy some people but i wanted to try out a cliffhanger having got the chance.

warning: swearing, thats it lol

EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP .7 , EP . 8 , EP . 9

Well, Friday was unexpected. Friday answered many things. Jinyoung’s job. Jinyoung’s friends. Your feelings. Jinyoung’s feelings towards your feelings. So much happened in one day even you couldn’t believe your life had gotten so much action.

Now it was the weekend and luckily you had things to do to take yesterday’s doings off your mind. The eco-hotel.

Saturday Midday

You had Beck come over for the weekend to work on the eco-hotel together. The sheets for the new hotel plans were distributed across the living room floor and the sun was at its peak. You went over to your air con and switched it on. Beck wasn’t a stranger, so you were dressed in a pair of shorts and an oversized short sleeved top. Your hair was up in a messy bun with a pencil behind your ear. You had all your equipment around the room. To be completely honest, the room was an organised mess. Note the word organised.

“Y/N can we take a break? It’s boiling in this room.” Beck looked absolutely drained from the morning session working to finish the eco-hotel.

“I was about to ask the same thing. Want an ice cream or a cold drink?” You signalled that you were gonna head to the kitchen.

“A cold cup of water should do. I’ll be out on the balcony.” You headed over to your kitchen and grabbed a glass of cold water for both of you.

You made sure to manoeuvre through the sheets of paper without dropping a single drop on the them. You gave the drink to Beck. He downed the whole glass in seconds.

“Beck, if you were this thirsty you’re no stranger you could have gotten some water.” You chuckled at his obvious thirst. You sipped some of your water.

“I didn’t even realise how thirsty I was either. Let me go grab another glass.” Beck went back to grab more water.

“Be careful of all the sheets on the floor. No frog movements please, just be extremely careful.” You shouted back into your home hoping he got the message.

You thought to yourselves how you’ll be able to have all the drawings done for Monday morning. You and Beck decided that it was both of your faults for having one of the pieces of land stolen from the next door firm. Hence why you called off all your employees that were working on this project. So, it was just you and Beck until Monday morning

“It’s going to be a rough weekend isn’t it?” Beck came back onto the balcony and saw your nervous face.

“I’m so scared we won’t finish it on time. I even considered calling the client and completely blowing off the project.”

“Good thing you didn’t. I believe we can do it. Even if it does mean less hours of sleep. This is nothing new Y/N. This has been our lives since the first year of architecture school.”

“Speak for yourself. I didn’t cut any hours of sleep for our under grad.”

“That’s true and somehow you still completed your work with flying colours.” You brushed your shoulders and flicked your hair trying to act out the phrase ‘what can I say? I’m that good’ in actions.

“Don’t get too happy. We need those skills back in action until the end of this project.”

“I think what hurts is that this project is actually finished but the client wants hand drawings as well as digital orthographics. Who even wants hand drawings anymore?” You sighed at the unnecessary request by the client.

“Ya! Don’t say that, especially not near the client.”

“I know, I know. He’s a big deal. Everyone knows him and his creations. Who thought he’d want a hotel built in a small town like Jinhae?”

“I guess he heard about the increasing number of tourists coming to Jinhae, especially during the cherry blossom season. If you ask me, it’s a smart move.” You nodded in agreement.

“Come on, let’s get back to work. Enough chit chat.” You headed back into the living room. Beck straight behind you.

“I finished the floor plans. So, we have elevations and sections to draw. We’ve done the axonometric drawings digitally anyways. Mr Chan is gonna have to excuse us for one missing drawing. I may try and do it if we have enough time.” Beck looked at you with a shocked expression.

“You have all the plans done already? Why in hell are we stressing then?” Beck had a smile on his face. Why in hell is he smiling?

“Why are you smiling? We still have so much to do, come on.” You faffed your hands around trying to get Beck to now focus on his work.

“Okay, okay! I’m working.” You guys returned to working at a reasonably fast pace hoping to have most of the drawings done by the end of today.

6:00 PM

You both ended the day by 6:00 pm. You guys had most of the drawings done by then anyways. Beck had never actually had a sit down session alongside you and was shocked at how quick you were. You were done with your drawings, but he had a couple left which you guys both agreed on finishing for Sunday. You still insisted for him to stay the whole weekend which was the original plan.

You guys made eye contact having declared that was enough for the day.

“Takeout.” You both mouthed to each other at the same time.

“Great minds think alike.” Beck exclaimed as you grabbed your phone to call in your usual order. Pizza. A food that’s simple, easy and you just can’t go wrong with.

“Can you order a x-large for today? I’m feeling extra hungry.”

“Alrighty, give me a second?” You rang up the usual place and processed your order. The person on the other end of the call took your order and read back that it should be there in 20 minutes.

“We have 20 minutes to kill. What do we do?”

“I think you should make a call to the leisure centre too.”

“Why?” Were you missing something?

“The meeting is at 11:00 am. Your swimming lesson?”

“Ah shit. I was looking forward for that lesson too. Maybe I can move the lesson so it’s after the meeting. Are we available then?”

“Bad news. The client said to leave the rest of the day free after the meeting. He didn’t say exactly why but I say we listen to him.”

You were looking forward to seeing Jinyoung. More than that whenever you couldn’t make it for your lessons, Max would be the one to cover for your group. Although, everyone knew that wasn’t a good option considering the awkward situation. But you had no choice, it was now up to Jooheon to solve the issue.

You dialled Jooheon’s number.

“Hey Y/N!” He seemed really cheery. You were sure the news you were gonna give him now would kill the mood.

“Hi Jooheon, got some bad news.”

“What is it?”

“You know about the eco-hotel… The presentation for the project is at 11:00 am on Monday meaning I won’t be able to come for the 10:00 am beginners class.”

“That’s fine. I’ll let Max know he has a cover for Monday.”

You waited in silence hoping Jooheon got the idea why it was bad news.

“Oh shit…” Took him long enough.

“Yh… hence why I said bad news.”

“We don’t have anyone else free during that period too. You know about that.”

“I was going to see if we could rearrange the time but turns out the client wants the whole day off with us. No clue why.”

“I’ll talk with Max, you don’t worry. If you can contact Jinyoung prior to the lesson too that would be great.”

“I’ll try my best to squeeze in some time. We are busy as you could imagine.”

“You guys get back to work. I’ll solve the problem. You don’t need to worry. If that’s all I need to get back to my own work too. Talk to you later Y/N!”

“Thank you so much Jooheon!”

You hung up.

“Sorted?”

You nodded at Beck.

The afternoon continued calmly, and you guys discussed the eco-hotel presentation that’ll take place. The pizza arrived and you guys tucked into your food. Your anxiety was growing as the minutes went by. How was Monday going to turn out?

…

Sunday Evening

You guys were actually ready. You both were shocked after rehearsing the presentation for the 10th time how well produced all the work was.

“I wouldn’t have even thought that I’d be getting a night’s sleep before this meeting.”

“I think sleep was the big motivator. You know how I can last on a hand full amount of sleep.”

“That’s true. You’re useless when it comes to working during the night.”

“Wooow, rude much.”

“I’m kidding. You performed really well. You reminded me why I partnered with you to start up a company.” You smiled at this compliment.

“You gonna stay over tonight as well or crash at home?”

“Could I stay over so we can just go to the meeting together tomorrow?”

“Yeah sure, this is like your second home after all. I feel like you’d also want to take advantage of my signature breakfast.”

“Was I that obvious?” Beck laughed at his failed attempt.

“I can read you like a book. You don’t need to hide your intentions.”

“Damn it.”

“I’ll prepare the long awaited breakfast tomorrow morning. Be up for 9:00 am. Set an alarm if you have to. I’ll tuck into breakfast with or without you.” You headed over to your bedroom and waved Jooheon goodnight.

“Goodnight! Sleep tight, don’t let the cantilevers bite.”

You went back to react to his really dead architecture joke.

“Get in the bin.” With Beck laughing at this really bad joke, you went back into your room and headed off to bed.

…

Monday morning

“Beck get your ass up its 9!” Typical, he hadn’t moved a single inch for the past minute that his alarm has been going off for.

“Y/N 5 more minutes.”

“5 more minutes and you’ll get no breakfast.”

“Breakfast…BREAKFAST!” Beck jumped out of the bed and flung himself grabbing some clothing on the way straight to do bathroom.

“This guy” You laughed at his reaction.

You left him to get ready and went back to the balcony and poured both of you some rich black tea. You settled in your usual seat and started filling your plate with all the different delicacies you laid on the table earlier on.

“You’ve done it again! I love these Mediterranean breakfasts you make. I need to come here more often.”

“Be my guest. It’s sometimes lonely enjoying a feast alone.”

“I could imagine. Although, that should have changed no?” What was he on about?

“Once you’re gone I’ll be back to having lonely breakfasts.”

“No, I mean you and your new boyfriend. When were you planning on telling me? You’ve been silent all weekend about it- “

“Boyfriend?? In who’s world did you hear that I have a boyfriend?” You used all your strength to not spit out the tea you had just sipped.

“The singer-actor guy? What was his name again? You were making headlines with him all weekend have you not checked your phone at all?”

You leaped back inside and grabbed your phone. No messages. No calls. What? Was this some kind of joke?

“Beck I haven’t got a single notification. Are you taking the piss?”

He grabbed your phone from you and enabled your WIFI. He knew you would switch it off whenever you had important things to do like this weekend. As soon as your phone connected to your router, all sorts of things flooded your phone screen. You took it back off him and read all the headlines.

Love strikes under the full moon

Waves were not the only things crashing that night

GOT7’s Jinyoung and his secret lover

Who could she be?

Secret Girlfriend and Aspiring Actor kicking it off on the Beach

“You’ve got to be kidding me?! Right before an important meeting as well. The company’s image. My image. My parents. How in the hell did this all happen?”

“Y/N sit down. It’s kinda late. You’ll just have to explain everything to whoever asks. Don’t worry about the company’s image, we all know how hardworking and talented you are.”

“Give me a sec. I need to make a call.” Jinyoung must have seen all the news too. You gave him a ring but no answer. He might be thinking that he’ll speak at one point during the leisure centre and you hadn’t found the time to let him know you won’t be in.

“Y/N calm down. Focus on the meeting please. You can sort out whatever this is afterwards.” You sat back down and tried to calm yourself down. Beck was right. You guys had an important meeting to focus on.

“Sorry.”

“Y/N shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Eat up, we have a long day ahead of ourselves.”

You tried to eat something, but it just wouldn’t work. Every mouthful felt like labour. You guys cleared up the table and went to prep for the meeting. You brushed your teeth and took a quick shower. You knew you were ready for this meeting, now it was just time to act on what you knew. You took out a pair of cream shorts alongside a white oversized tank top and a brown belt. You grabbed your nude heals and the gold accessories off your drawers to put on as you left. You had your hair wavey from your twisted bun that you always slept with in and a little mascara, the usual. Beck had loaded your car with all the sheets to pin up for the meeting alongside all the small scale models you had at your house.

You locked your house and ran to your car. Beck was ready in the passenger’s seat running over the minor things on his iPad.

“Have you rung the company to check the room is prepared, refreshments all that jazz.”

“Erm… yeah but there’s apparently loads of paparazzi that security is trying to hold off.” Your head shot towards Beck. As if that was needed.

“Guess we are entering through the back entrance. Call the client at let him know to do the same.”

“On it.” Thank god for Beck.

…

20 minutes later

You were driving past the usual entrance of the company and saw the tons of people that the security was blocking off. In a million years you wouldn’t have thought you’d have paparazzi at your company door.

“Can today get any worse?” You questioned out loud.

“Don’t say that. Just get in through the back, it’ll be over soon.”

Your receptionist let you through the back entrance and you guys moved to the meeting room that was prepped for the meeting.

“The room looks great. Just like how we agreed on.” You smiled at your receptionist.

“The presentation team did a great job. I’ll treat them for a meal.” Beck offered. You agreed with his statement.

“Mr Chan should be here in 30 minutes. Let’s pin up the sheets and bring all the models to this room.” You both left your belongings in the room and went down to the fabrication labs down stairs. To head to fabrication, you guys had to walk past the front entrance. You peaked to see if the people had gone but no. It had gotten worse. There were more people we even bigger cameras. How on earth?

JINYOUNG’S POV

You were right on time for your lesson. You and the kids were waiting at the pool side for Y/N. You kind of felt giddy after what happened on Friday. What stage would you call you and Y/N now? You checked the clock and saw that she was 5 minutes late. This didn’t seem like Y/N, she’s always early. Or has been for the past 2 lessons anyways.

“Woojin, is Miss ever late?” Woojin shook his head no.

Jaehyun heard from his dock and decided to let you know about the news.

“Jinyoung hyung, Y/N has a really important meeting today. She called in to say she won’t be making it for this lesson meaning Max will be taking over for today.”

Max… is taking over? This isn’t going to go well.

“Thanks, Jaehyun.” Jaehyun saluted which is his way of saying ‘no problem’.

You were thinking why Y/N wouldn’t have told you until you realised… the missed call this morning. She tried to get in contact with you, but you weren’t available. Damn it.

“Jaehyun, do you know where Y/N’s company building is at?”

“Yh, it’s the one and only big fancy glass building in the town centre.” She works there? She’s very humble for a CEO.

“Right, I’ll be absent for today. You can let Max know when he does the register. Also, what time is the meeting?”

“It starts at 11:00 am, why did you ask?”

“I’m going to attend.”

Jaehyun started cackling, “Do you think you can just walk into a client meeting? You must be mad. Jinyoung hyung it’s a serious meeting, you can’t just barge in.”

“Fine, I’m going to wait for there then.”

“No can do.” Max was behind you ask he listened to the conversation. You turned around to face Max.

“I can leave if I want.”

“Kids, do we want Jinyoung to leave this lesson? We all want him to stay don’t we?” You couldn’t believe he was going to use the kids as bait for you to stay.

“Yes, Jinyoung oppa please stay!”

“Jinyoung hyung, don’t go!”

The kids started whining, hoping you would stay for the lesson. He used his weapons well; you couldn’t break the kids’ hearts especially when you knew how much Y/N cares for the kids. You were gonna stay for her sake.

You knelt down to the kids and gave them a smile, “Fine, I’ll stay.”

You gave a glance to Max and hopefully you both sided with getting through this lesson without any disruptions. And so, the lesson commenced.

“We will be doing a test today.”

“A test?”, Hyungwon gulped, “But Miss didn’t mention a test last week?”

“Well Hyungwon, this is a surprise test. I’ll be marking everyone on how well they perform on the things Miss taught in the past 2 weeks.” This guy is doing this on purpose.

“How will you be marking us?” You spoke up.

“3 columns. Speed. Technique. A race. The place you come in the race will determine how many points you get for the ‘race’ column.”

“I’m gonna beat you all.” Woojin was already hyped to get the highest score. You would have probably been as excited as Woojin if the teacher was different.

“Right, we will be starting with Technique. I’ll be going off the register order so line up in that order and I’ll be testing your technique swimming front stroke.” You lined up along with the kids. You were obviously last.

Max got to you. You had a feeling he was gonna try and do everything to give you a bad mark. You remembered all the things Y/N had taught you and starting swimming to the area Max marked. You hated that this man was good at something you weren’t. Knowing he was ahead in something gave him more say and material on you.

“I feel sad for Y/N,” You waited for him to continue to see what he meant, “For having such a crap student.” He jotted down a fat 0 next to your name under the technique column. Jaehyun heard from his dock the comment Max had made and made eye contact with you. He was pleading for you to not react to Max’s words since that was exactly what he wanted to do. You clenched your fists and took a deep breath. You weren’t gonna lose this easily.

“I feel sad for Y/N too. Different reason though.” You gave Max a dirty look so he got the idea that you were referring to him in some way.

“Max hyung, are we moving onto speed now?” Woojin separated both of your focusses onto him.

“Yes Woojin-ah, get ready I’ll be timing you guys. You all have to swim in whichever style you want from one end to another.”

“Get to the side.” Max turned his face back to you and spoke in a demanding tone. He was really grinding your gears. This was going to be a long hour.

Y/N’S POV

“Good morning Mr Chan. I hope your flight yesterday was well.” You shook Mr Chan’s hand as he took his seat in the meeting room.

“Good Morning Miss Y/L/N and Mr Longing. I arrived without any problems. I got some rest too. All in all, I’m ready for today’s meeting.”

“Agreed, Mr Chan. I’ll begin with the site analysis and our response with our design.” You and Beck agreed for Beck to start the meeting and then you to end it.

“So, as you may have heard one of the plots of land were taken out of our hands. There was some complications with the landowners, but we decided that one plot of land was enough to fulfil the criteria of an eco-hotel.” With that Beck continued with explaining the new updates on the hotel design after the land issue.

“Mr Chan, the maquettes and models are laid out in the order of development. This is how the overall design developed into the final result. The 3D printed large model at the end is the final version of the hotel in a simple representation of the surrounding area around it.” You moved towards the model and showed Mr Chan where the sun would be travelling throughout the day. You brought along all the hand drawings from the past couple days too to show what each individual room would look like from all angles.

“These look amazing. I’m really thankful for the models and the drawings, they give a really good idea of what the final outcome will look like.” You and Beck looked at each other and gave a smile. All the hard work you both had put on for the past couple days had come through.

“Although, I wanted to ask one thing.” You diverted your attention to Mr Chan.

“Yes, Mr Chan go ahead.” You were nervous from his sudden question. You were sure you and Beck hadn’t missed out on any information.

“It hasn’t got to do with the project.”

“What exactly are you referring to Mr Chan?”

“You, Miss Y/L/N.” You looked up at Beck. What could Mr Chan want to know about you?

“Go ahead, Mr Chan. I’m listening.” If you were honest, you weren’t feeling well. You started breathing heavier than usual scared of what Mr Chan was going to ask.

“The paparazzi’s at the front door. Why are they here?” Fuck. This should have been something you should have thought about earlier on. You looked at Beck for help. You had no answer to give.

“That wasn’t Miss Y/L/N, Mr Chan. There has been a misunderstanding. The news reports are still speculating who the person is and Miss Y/L/N has just been mistaken for the girl that the actor was with. As you may have seen the photographs were taken at night, so it is hard to tell who it is, as expected.” Beck covered up for you.

“I see… and Miss Y/L/N what do you plan on doing about the news.”

“I’m aiming to get in contact with the actor’s agency to speak up and deny allegations about my involvement since that is the truth. I’ll also be holding a conference soon to news outlets about the situation. I don’t want anything like this to throw dirt under our company’s name.”

“I thought it was you Miss,” Is he being serious?, “I was going to congratulate you on your new relationship. That was the reason for the flowers. You’re also human. I thought you were taking a step forward in your person life. I know about how popular you are among fellow architects, for your work and for you too.” Me? Popular among architects? Step forward in my person life? Can life stop throwing new surprises nowadays, you were happy with your boring life.

“Mr Chan.” Beck addressed your client.

“We thought you would be disappointed about the truth. If that is the case I’d like to firstly apologise for what I just said. I didn’t mean to lie Mr Chan, but we didn’t want anything to cause you to- “

“It’s fine Mr Longing. Congratulations Miss Y/L/N. It’s really nice to see the new generation finding love. I’m sure you have found the right person for you.”

“Mr Chan, I appreciate your comments although it’s a little more complicated than that. We are not exactly dating or haven’t exactly clarified it between ourselves.” You struggled to keep eye contact with your client at this rate. Beck eyed you knowing you could have just suggested that you had a fling days before an important meeting.

“I’m sure you guys will even end up getting married one day. I sensed it when I saw your photos side by side.” You just smiled at Mr Chan’s observations.

“I hope whatever is best for the both of us is what happens.” Mr Chan agreed and focussed back on the project.

“Was there anything else you’d like to ask Mr Chan?” Beck wanted to make sure Mr Chan was completely clear of the new changes in order to process the build.

“Can I decide on which trees and floors to have planted in the hotel? I know the botanic designers tend to do so.”

“Of course, Mr Chan. As long as the greenery you choose passes the climate test meaning they’ll stay alive in Jinhae’s weather conditions, you can choose which ones we decorate the hotel with.”

“Great, that marks the end of the meeting. You guys have done an outstanding job. Better than what I expected. What’s the estimated date of completion?”

“If everything goes well, the hotel should be completely finished and ready for service for the month of March 2022.”

Mr Chan clapped in happiness. You were happy to have made your extremely important client over the moon.

“I’d like to take you guys out for dinner. I hope you guys made sure the rest of your days are free-“

You were getting a call from Jooheon. You never get calls from Jooheon during meetings, he knows not to disturb unless it’s an emergency.

“Mr Chan, could I please take this call?”

“Sure, go ahead. Me and Mr Longing will decide on where to eat.” You smiled and left the meeting room and picked up the call.

“Jooheon, what is it?”

��Y/N.. I-“

“Jooheon please tell me. Did something happen?”

“Jinyoung…He’s in the- “

“The what Jooheon can you just say it already?”

“The hospital.”

“HOSPITAL?!?”

---

Oooooo… the suspense. I haven’t tried these sorts of endings before, so I wanted to give it a shot. I want to leave it up to you guys for now to imagine what may have happened. Until the next episode, see you! Next episode will be extraordinary, you can count on me.

writer-nim x

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2020

Hey y’all. So 2020 happened. That was a thing. Apparently. I know for a lot of people this year was uhm… pretty shit… but it was still a year that happened so it’s time for my annual reflection post (probably the only time I still post about myself on tumblr lol) and maybe we might even find some good things that happened this year!

 The Beginning of 2020 vs Now

So, a lot has changed since the start of the year. A pandemic happened, for one. I can’t believe that a year ago I could still go to class every day and see my friends and now I’m pretty much stuck at home every day. The year started out pretty normal and then march happened and well, you all know what happened next. The worst part about the pandemic for me personally was probably the fact that I barely see my friends anymore and I can’t go to class every day. Some people may not think that not going to class is that bad, but I really enjoyed university more than I ever enjoyed school and I was really happy going there every day, and I was already sad I’d only have 4 to 5 years to spend there, so when that period got even shorter it made me kinda sad.

On the other hand, I do think that mentally I’m in a much better place than I was last year around this time. Being home this much really gave me time to reflect and work on my issues, and because my sister was stuck in our house for a couple of weeks I got to talk to her a lot which really helped me feel better. I think in general my entire family (my brother, sister and mom) have become a lot more open with each other which I think is great! I guess quarantine can have some benefits.

 The Best Things about 2020

Okay, here’s is where we’re going to get even more positive and go over all the good things that happened (to me) this year! To be honest, most of the year was a bit of a blur so I probably will forget quite a bit, but I’m going to give this a try anyway. At the start of the year (when things were still normal) I was super excited to get into the next semester, as the one before had,,, kinda sucked, and those 6 weeks of class I had at the start of the year were really great. I remember me and my friends having a competition of who could get mentioned the most in our teacher’s powerpoint presentation so those classes were always interesting. I also finally got to dye my hair for the first time with the help of my friends. I’ve been wanting to do that for so long, and I’m so happy I finally got to do it! I even know how to do it myself now, and my hair hasn’t been brown since the start of march! Then, at the start of march, my dad and stepmother moved away and I permanently moved in with my mom. Before, I used to live with both my mom and my dad and I got really really sick of switching houses every week, so to finally live in one house and have all my stuff in one place was a bit of a relief to me, and I’m still really happy with it. After that, things become a bit blurry. I remember that at the start of quarantine in … April? I watched Sex Education or the first time, which is now not only one of my favourite shows ever, but also taught me a lot and helped me with some of the issues I was dealing with. We’ll skip over the subsequent sexuality crisis I had (I think I might actually be straight??), and skip straight to the summer, when I started watching I-Land. I watched every episode as it aired live, and because of this show my Fridays really became the highlight of the week. I don’t think I’ve ever been so invested in a survival show XD. The rest of the year was mostly just me spending time with myself. It got a bit lonely sometimes, but I also don’t think I’ve ever written as much as I have this year, and my drawing has significantly improved (if I may say so myself)! Especially towards the end of the year, when I started making a planning every day to prevent myself from wasting away all my time on youtube, I got super productive, and I wrote a lot, and made a lot of art, and I really felt good. I even started (gasp) working out. Yeah I know. Shocking right.

There was also a lot of good music that was released this year, and, to close this section on a great note, through one of my classes I finally found a group of friends to play D&D with! We haven’t actually played yet, but we will, and I’m so excited to play the game and get to know these people more! They all seem really kind!

 My Resolutions for 2020?

Now, here’s the part where we check whether I actually reached all the goals I set myself for 2020. As usual, I have no idea what my resolutions were, so I honestly have no idea how I did. Let’s see, shall we?

Express my feelings more (as in I get really awkward in any sappy or mushy situation but I would like to be able to tell people I appreciate them without cringing) – UHM way to attack me on the very first resolution jeez. I did get more open with my family but I still can’t tell people I care about them without cringing so this is a fail lol

Again, learn to depend less on other people’s opinion and trust my own – I’ve been working on it, I think I’ve gotten a bit better? So win?

Get my sleeping schedule back on track – did that! It’s a bit whacky again now because of the holidays, but October and November were a big success regarding this resolution

WRITE MORE. This time I’ll make some concrete goals: Either I’ll get my story’s first draft done, or I’ll write 100 pages on a single project – okay, so here’s the thing. I don’t think I did any of these particular things, however this time I am 100% sure I wrote a lot more than the past years. I cannot count all the files and pages and notes I have now, but I wrote a lot, so I’m counting this as a win

I want to try NaNoWriMo (not necessarily in November, but at some point) – yeah, didn’t do that oops

I want to read a lot again but maybe not as much as this year because I want to focus on writing too. 40 books? – 49 books babey

Read all my current unread books (Aru Shah 2, Skullduggery Pleasant 9, Gemina, The Mistborn Trilogy and Call Down The Hawk) and finish my reread of Heroes of Olympus and the Raven Cycle) – Did all of these except Skullduggery Pleasant 9 (the start was so boring I decided not to read it all) and The Mistborn Trilogy (I am about halfway through the first book I think?) so I’m counting this as half a win

Finally read a book by V.E. Schwab (I’ve been wanting to try one of her books for ages) – Did that! Read a whole trilogy. It was good but not as great as I expected them to be. I think my expectations were too high though

Finish Playing Twilight Princess (I promised my brother) – Did that! I’m really proud of myself and so is my brother

Go. Swimming. Seriously. It’s scandalous that I still haven’t done that after waiting so long to be able to – IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I LAST WENT SWIMMING WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I did buy new swimshorts but I still haven’t actually used them… shame on me

Try to worry less about school and not overwork myself – kinda?

Maybe try another drawing challenge somewhere this summer? I haven’t done any of those in a while and I feel like my art needs more attention – okay, so I didn’t do that, but I did at the start of the year make the resolution to make portrait/photoshoot-like drawings for my 8 main oc’s, and I did actually manage to finish that, and they are some of the best drawings I’ve ever made, so though I haven’t actually done a challenge specifically, I did do something

I want to try a 24 hour readathon – Yeah, didn’t do that oops

I kinda want to learn a piano piece as well, but I already have so many hobbies I want to focus on so I don’t know if I’ll have the time ☹ – yeah my dad sold our piano so… fail XD

 Expectations for 2021

Now, after last year I think it’s safe to say we can never really know what to expect. But! I’m going to guess anyway because it’ll be really fun to see next year whether I got anything right.

The first thing that I think will probably happen this year (if I don’t majorly mess anything up) is I’ll be writing my thesis next semester, and then in the summer I’ll get my bachelor’s degree. Honestly I can’t believe how fricking fast those 3 years went, but I guess I’ll just have to roll with it lol. Corona vaccinations will also probably start happening next year, and hopefully this will mean that going outside and seeing my friends will be possible again next year – at least a lot more than it was this year. I hope 2021 will be the year of hanging out with friends and getting to live a little again. Maybe even get to go to class. That would be great.

On to more minor – but no less exciting – things, 2021 will probably bring us a new season of Sex Education! I’m sooo excited for that holy shit. And, in a similar vein, I have high hopes for kpop releases now that SHINee is finally back, and it looks like Haseul is also returning to LOONA! 2021 will also be the year in which ENHYPEN makes their first comeback, and some of the other I-LAND contestants will also make their debut, and there might even be a new season of I-LAND as well in the summer? So there’s a lot of things to look forward to. Oh, and I almost forgot, Dan Howell’s book will be released in May, and there will be a new Grishaverse book, and the Shadow and Bone show will start airing, which I am really curious about. Again, lots of things to look forward to!

 2021 Resolutions

I’m not feeling as ambitious as I was last year, but there are a couple of things I want to try and do, so let’s jump into the resolutions!

I just came up with this today, but I think I want to try and build a bit of a skincare routine? The skin on my nose is kinda flakey, and I think it couldn’t hurt to try and take better care of my skin

Keep up with my daily workouts. I want to work out every day, except when I’m at my dad’s or when it’s a special day, like Christmas or something.

Be able to do either 50 push-ups on my knees, 25 normal push-ups, or both

GO SWIMMING

Keep up with planning daily! It’s a really good way to balance all of my 3195 hobbies and it helps me to not get stressed about school

Write (almost) every day. I need to make it a habit

Draw at least once a week, every other day if possible

Go outside at least once a week. That doesn’t seem very hard but with corona I did not realise how little I go outside if I am not forced to. Sometimes I spend 3 weeks without going out and I don’t even notice it. That can’t be good for me lol

Try to make healthier food choices. Maybe follow the lunch meal plan of the guy whose workout videos I follow.

Get my bachelor’s degree

Grow a beard. I’m getting closer… I know I’m getting closer…

Meet with my frIENDS and give them the alBUMS I have for them

Be more careful with my money, maybe even save a bit of money

Spend less time on social media

Read more educational books

I think that’s it! I can’t think of anything else right now so these will have to do. I wish that 2021 will treat all of you much better than whatever mess 2020 was! Happy 2021!

Last year’s post: (x)

@the-official-pentacorn @asiandutchgirl

[chyrstis]

I won’t ask for much (but just this once, I’d like you) 10/10

Time is absolutely a construct, because I can’t believe it’s been over two weeks since I posted the previous chapter here. This is the final chapter of this (and for the third time I get to give this little fic a bit of a send-off), and definitely not safe for work below the cut. For anyone looking to dodge that, however, just skip to the section right after this one, and you’ll be good to go!

To say that there’s a bunch of stories I have left to tell in this universe is a bit of an understatement. I’ve got at least 5-7 scattered ideas for this AU in various stages of completion, some of them taking place during the fic, some after, and I can’t wait to be able to share them.

And last but certainly not least, thank you all for reading and checking this out, both at AO3 and here! I hope you enjoy it. <3

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw x John Seed Rating: E Word Count: 3.5K  

Link to AO3!

Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 3 / Ch. 4 / Ch. 5 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 7 / Ch. 8 / Ch. 9 / Ch. 10

—

Sharky steals a boat. It just happens to be John’s boat, and when it’s damaged along with his boathouse, John proceeds to lay out a means of having Sharky pay him back. [No Cult AU]

———–

Turns out the bedroom was too far to go.

It also didn’t have a sweet couch and a roaring fireplace, something John mentioned as a selling point. Not that he needed any convincing, but John kept up with it, describing it in perfect detail by his ear all while helping him to shimmy out of his clothes.

Sharky was usually pretty quick on his own. He’d timed himself once to see how fast he could whip his pants off, and was proud of the record even though he’d almost busted his ass on the floor. Here and now, with another set of hands on him, it should’ve taken zero effort to shed what he was wearing, and he’d left his coat, shirt, and hat on the trail to the living room.

Now, doing so while trying not to break the kiss he was engaged in was harder.

Struggling to keep any sense with John’s tongue in his mouth, Sharky bumped into the doorway, nearly tripped over one of those little foot-cushions, and almost took a table corner to the kidney, all while helping John wrestle his sweater over his head.

He couldn’t help but jump at the first brush of John’s hands, however, both cold against his sides and lower back. They warmed fast as they traveled over him, one skimming down the front of his pants before going for his belt. Getting past that, then the zipper, John’s palm ground down, pressing against him over his underwear, and Sharky couldn’t keep from moaning at the contact.

A cold hand on his dick wasn’t the most pleasant thing to consider, but he’d forgive him. Shit, he’d forgive him for damn near anything as long as he kept up with that slow, steady pace as he hardened quick under it.

However, it was John that also nearly made him pitch over the back of the couch when pressed against it. His mouth hot against his, then along and down his throat, Sharky held onto him tight only to nearly lose it by leaning back and slipping on the leather.

“Whoa, wait, wait-fuck!” Sharky yelped, breathing hard as John steadied him, one hand on the couch, and the other digging into his hip.

Trading a look, the two held it for a few seconds before John’s concern gave way to exasperation. “Is there anything in here that you haven’t tried to maim yourself with?”

“Yeah. You, for one,” Sharky said, then broke away and worked his pants down, tugging at them as he hopped on one leg. “Jury’s still out on if that’ll change, though.”

John almost looked offended. “That’s hardly fair to say.”

The pant leg snagged on Sharky’s foot, and he glanced down to see what the deal was. “Dude, you know my blood’s been running south to my dick for the last ten to fifteen, right? You wanna add to that?” He yanked at it to free it, struggling. “Shit, all you’d have to do is fucking offer to-“

“Offer to do what?” John drew his belt out, and tossed it onto the coffee table. “Because I’d like you to be a little more specific.”

“Just…” With no other helpful suggestions on his end, he felt himself grasping for straws.

He glanced over his shoulder, trying not to keep on hopping, but once John removed the last of his clothes, he suddenly knew just how far those tattoos of his went. The answer? Pretty damn far, and he didn’t want to stop looking at him.

“Just, you know. If you wanna finish the job, and find some way to blow my mind, I guess.”

“Or I could just blow you,” John all but purred at him.

Did he just purr at me? Wait a sec, did he also just…?

Hopping in a slight turn, he skidded, the world pitching sideways. Stumbling, his shoulder took the brunt of the impact as he hit the floor.

His foot was freed, but his pride? Just as bruised as he’d be come tomorrow.

“Charlemagne?”

“It’s fine! I’m cool,” he wheezed, feeling his face burn as John started over towards him. One very naked, and worried John judging from the way his eyebrows kept on drawing together, “just give me a sec.”

Shucking off his pants and underwear at last, he stood up, and huffed out a breath. So much for that record. And so much for John not finding a way to, as he put it, ‘maim him’.

“Right. I’m sitting down now.”

John guided him over to the couch, resting a hand on his lower back. “A wise choice. The wisest I’ve heard yet.”

And when he’d settled down onto the leather seat, the material cool against his skin, he took in the scene in front of him. Like some weird parody of what he’d catch in a holiday movie. The room was warmly lit, the fireplace just the kind of cozy he’d like to stretch in front of and watch for hours.

It was the kind of thing that belonged on a postcard. Not what he’d be met with back at his house, even with the small tree he’d cobbled together year after year to bring some cheer into his place.

“Shit, that’s pretty.”

John gave him an amused look as he followed his gaze to the fire, “I thought you might like that.”

“So’s you,” Sharky murmured, looking up at him, “just in case you were wondering.”

John had opened his mouth to say something else, but let it fall shut. Backlit by the fireplace, he faced him, and in that moment it really hit him. Just how bright, and seriously, fucking beautiful his eyes were as they focused on him.

“Am I now?”

Resting a hand on the back of the couch, he leaned forward and Sharky met him halfway.

Sinking back against the cushions, he pulled John with him, and felt him slide a hand along his jaw before it sank into the hair behind his head, helping him to angle it up towards him. There he could keep on kissing him, feeling his lips tease at his, followed by his tongue.

Resting a knee next to him on the couch, John kept himself propped up and over him. Balancing himself as his fingertips pressed into his skin, grabbing tight whenever Sharky would do something with his tongue that John liked.

He added that to the other things he’d noticed so far. What made John’s breath catch, or his ears turn pink. All the little things he wanted to hold onto, now and for later, and hoped to build up an entire goddamn catalog by the time they were too beat to even think about giving another round a shot.

But he didn’t let himself think too much about that yet. Not when he was in the middle of kissing John like this, hoping the hand tucked along his side was heading straight for where he wanted him most.

John’s mouth traveled over to his ear. “Still with me?”

His teeth tugged at Sharky’s earlobe, the sensation sharp. But that had nothing on the way he sucked hard on his skin after that. And when John wrapped his fingers around his cock and squeezed, Sharky couldn’t stop his hips from bucking into his grip.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yeah. Fuck yeah,” Sharky gasped, grabbing for him. Doing all of the moving for him, he wanted that slide, and didn’t let up.

“Good. Seeing you this eager’s not making me want to be patient at all.”

John tried to steady Sharky’s hips, to ease him back into a slower rhythm as he followed every movement, and that’s when he felt him start exploring. Trailing and tracing his fingers all over him, and Sharky nearly jumped when the touch tickled. His mouth stayed at his neck, however. Sucked a line of spots that were going to show if he upped the pressure any, and sure enough, he did.

But the slower pace he used, the longer strokes still had him moving with John’s hand before long. Not slick enough by far, but one lick to his palm would’ve fixed that quick. Not that he was going to, but he thought about it. Thought pretty damn hard about it as he started bucking into John’s hand harder again, and swore under his breath.

“Is that good for you?”

“Yeah. That’s-that’s getting good,” he managed, his breath short. “That’s getting real good.”

He glanced down, wanting to see if reality was anywhere close to the mental image he’d supplied himself with, only to groan at the sight. It wasn’t easy peeking between them, but he liked that. Liked seeing John’s hand on him, his fingers wrapped around him, and hoped he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

But on the other hand, he needed to last. They’d been at this nowhere near long enough for it to be satisfying for all parties involved, and he wasn’t about to be that asshole. The one that’d come early, making every weird face in the book only to fall dead asleep right after, so he needed to put some of this on ice, and fast.

Forcing his eyes up, Sharky sucked down a breath. Tried to tap into some of the shit he remembered Xander telling him once. That whole finding your mind palace, or a way to use that zen to chill the fuck out, and looked for another focus. Another thing he’d have no trouble zeroing in on-

“I’m losing you again, aren’t I?”

That snapped him out of it. He’d let his attention drift towards the fireplace, concentrating on the cracking of the wood, but shifted it quickly back to John.

“Look, it’s not-it’s…you caught me at a bad time.”

“I see. A shame, then,” John tutted as he pulled back to look at him. “But don’t spend too much time watching the fire, like I know you want to.”

“Why?”

“I’d prefer if you watched me instead.”

Having John kiss him hard, only for him to slide down his body and press another directly to his cock, Sharky forced his eyes to stay open. He wasn’t fucking missing this. Not for a second, though he knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

“Jesus Christ, man.” Every long lick of John’s tongue made him want to tilt his head back and enjoy the ride. “This ain’t gonna last long. Not that I don’t-“ John’s hand joined in, stroking him slowly as his lips closed around the tip of his cock, and Sharky’s groan was ragged. “N-not that I ain’t loving this, it’d just suck to bust one this fast, just when…”

“We’ve only begun to get started?”

John took him completely into his mouth after that, and Sharky swore loudly. The chuckle didn’t help, not when he could feel every last vibration, and he clenched both of his hands into tightly balled fists.

He wanted to touch him. Wasn’t sure where he could, as John’s fingers gripped his thighs, nudging his legs further apart to accommodate him.

His hair? Not that he needed to encourage him much, feeling him take him in deeper and deeper with every slide of his tongue. But it looked like the kind he’d enjoy running his fingers through, and maybe John would be into that? Wouldn’t hurt to try either way.

But his shoulders were an option too, Sharky noticed, watching his muscles flex as he moved. So were his arms. Not bad runner ups at all, if he was being honest.

Shit, there was a hell of a lot he needed to be honest with concerning himself, John, and what this was shaping up to be, but this was a start.

It wasn’t the mistake he worried it’d been either, because he’d thrown himself into this. Done what his gut and heart had agreed on this time around, knowing full well this was his last shot and he wasn’t about to pass it up. And somehow it worked out. For once in his life, he hadn’t fucked a good thing up by going with his instincts. Thinking he’d read all of the right signs when he’d missed every one, and still wondered on some level if he was sleeping off one hell of a bender somewhere.

Not that having a wet dream about John would’ve been a bad thing, but considering he was living out the alternative? Sitting here with the real deal, with John, on his knees in front of him, determined to see how far he could deepthroat him before he’d pop?

Sweet, tap-dancing Jesus, he could get used to this. Yes, he damn well could, he muttered between heavy breaths as he finally broke, gripping John’s shoulders tight.

“You…oh, fuck. You, you just…”

He was struggling. Genuinely struggling now with the new pace. Lips tight, all of it so tight and hot as he slid down his throat. Encouraged by John’s hand stroking him, then his tongue as he pressed it flat. Kept that slide going, urging him along as John moved his other hand from Sharky’s thigh down south and out of sight, and he felt that. Felt the hiss of breath as John withdrew, his eyes slipping closed before leaning forward to take him into his mouth again.

Fuck, he wanted to touch him. Wanted to wrap his own hand around him tight, as he was sure he was gripping himself. It made every hum damn near agony. Every muffled sound the roughest kind of test as Sharky tried not to buck his hips forward. Trying to back off from the harsh and deep his body said it wanted, only to dance right on the edge of it.

Both hands slid up the back of John’s neck to tangle in his hair, and he was begging now. With every tug, pull, and word that managed to slip out.

“John. Fucking, fuck, John.”

Sharky felt it - felt him moan around him, and that nearly did it right there. So, having him back off in that moment was a jolt, but having John climb up to kiss him right after, hurried and sloppy, and with his taste on his tongue, was hot as hell.

“This…this shit ain’t lasting,” he tried to get out between kisses, “so, y-you want this?”

That hadn’t been meant to get a response. But at the “Yes,” John gave him, breathless and strained, Sharky might’ve been rougher when he kissed him. Liked it when John’s teeth caught on his lips, no longer careful, but desperate.

He’d half-dragged him onto his lap, only for John to press up against him. Then climbed on as Sharky kept on touching him. Got him gasping just as hard, and didn’t stop. Neither of them seemed to want to, and he only did when the last few hurried strokes of John’s hand pushed him there.

The sound that came out of him after that he’d rather not describe, or admit to anyone. But he let it out, and somehow his eyes didn’t roll back into his head.

Curled against him, John eased him down. Used softer strokes to coax him through the last few tremors, and let go only when he heard his breathing even out. Resting his forehead on John’s shoulder, he felt his heart rate slow, everything in him relaxing as he breathed, and felt John press a kiss to his neck.

“It’s…it’s gonna suck to clean this, isn’t it?” Most of the mess was between him and John at the moment, but it wasn’t going to stay there. Not at this rate. “Like this shit’s conditioned, and oiled like a fancy set of boots, and we probably fucked that up, huh?”

John sighed. “Possibly. But that’s a worry for tomorrow. Right now, I think there’s more important things for us to think about.”

Still aware of just how hard John was against him, Sharky was inclined to agree.

“Yeah. Think you’re right, there. I also, I…I haven’t really done much of this shit before,” Sharky blurted out as he leaned back, knowing it was late by this point, but couldn’t hold onto it any longer. “Now this I know, but anything else? It’s…um.”

“We’ll go slow.” John lightly touched his chin, making sure he was looking right at him. “Sticking to anything you’re comfortable with.”

“Not that I’m not…not that I wouldn’t mind anything else, just-“

“Be gentle?”

“Yeah,” Sharky breathed, and leaned into the kiss waiting for him, “let’s go with that.”

---

There was a voice speaking. Low, and almost too hard to hear, but it was the first thing Sharky noticed when he shifted. Moved to stretch. That, and the sheets that were almost too damn soft to touch under him.

Rubbing first his hands, then his cheek against it, he hummed in contentment only to recall his own bed. The sheets which he’d worn a hole into before tearing, that he swore up and down he’d replace three months back and counting. Those sheets didn’t even hold a half-burned match to these.

He opened his eyes, confused for a few seconds until he caught the figure sitting only a few feet away from him.

John sat at the bed’s edge, his back to him as he held his phone up to his ear. His responses were on the quiet side, not meant to disturb anyone, but Sharky could make out some of it as John’s voice drifted over to him.

“No. Well, there is a possibility. …Brother dear, you’re prying. I hardly think you-” John paused, scoffing right after, and a wave a self-consciousness hit him.

This was some private shit. Something Sharky wasn’t sure he should’ve heard at all, not while John thought he was sleeping it off next to him.

But John was there. Still with him, not leaving an empty space for Sharky to find after waking up alone on his all too large bed. That was a shock. One that pushed up a whole lot of other shit that he didn’t want to feel. Not right now, not here, but his mind always had a habit of dragging it all up when he least wanted it.

Watching John helped, though. Seeing someone there, even if he was focused on the conversation at the moment. Added more to the whole ‘the last eight to twelve hours weren’t a lie’ thing, and he held onto that fact tight.

When John ended the call, Sharky quickly closed his eyes. Waited, not sure at all what to do or say, but figured this would give him time to decide.

He felt the bed shift. Nerves running on overdrive, he took in a deep breath, and cracked his eyes open. “Hey, just so you know-”

Partway to him, John paused, startled.

Sharky blinked up at him, and lost his train of thought completely. Because it looked a hell of a lot like he was going in for a kiss. Like he’d planned on waking him up that way all along.

Because John still hadn’t done it yet. Hadn’t kicked him out, or wanted him out, like a whole lot of his morning afters usually went.

Funny how that was the hardest thing to believe yet.

So, he tugged him down. Felt John respond immediately, as Sharky rolled onto his back, and focused on kissing him. Hard at first, then softer. Each lazy kiss holding on just long enough for him to need air right after.

John trailed his fingers along his jaw, everything about it gentle, and Sharky let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry, I, uh, I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

“…Neither did I.” John took in a slow breath, and wet his lips. “But it’s morning, and whoever this person is that I’ve found in my bed, I’d like to see more of them.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes. One and the same,” he murmured, grazing Sharky’s lips with his. “Maybe even keep him there, if possible.”

It took effort, but Sharky drew back. Just enough to take John in like he wanted to. Hoping to try and catch even a hint of this in his mind to hold onto, only to want to dive right back in. Hell, if his mornings all started off like this, he’d gladly give in every time.

“I think he’d like that. Shit, I know I would. But you know what sounds good right now?”

“What?” John asked, gentle still.

“Breakfast. Never really got to that step before.” Sharky gave him a small grin, and chuckled. “Always wanted to, though. Got eggs and toast? Or…shit, I can try pancakes.”

Watching him still, John gave him a slow smile, and it was the prettiest one he’d earned yet. “Promising to keep any and all fires to a minimum?”

“Hey, I’m certified remember? For fire-starting and stopping. Guaranteed.”

“Very well then,” John replied, leaning in for another kiss. “Breakfast it is.”

[twokinkybeans]

Jar Of Dirt Chapter 6: Bow Tie [Starker Fanfiction NSFW/18+]

Kink/Sexual Warnings: Public Teasing, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Exhibitionism, Striptease. Anal Sex, Daddy Kink, Praise Kink, Verbal Humiliation, Feminization. Other warnings: Tony's ex saying some hurtful shit to Peter as he tries to crash the party

All Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10 ... Masterpost (More to come!)

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Chapter 6: Bow Tie It’s a beautiful Sunday morning. New York City, the rising sun shining over its tall buildings surely is a magnificent sight. Peter’s at the kitchen table, working through his Nuclear Physics homework. Yesterday, he and Tony were chilling in the lab together, working on Peter’s suit. It didn’t really need any enhancements, but that didn’t stop them. It was just so much fun to be in the lab together. Peter didn’t have to hold back. He could say everything. He’s smart. He knows that it makes people uncomfortable. From a young age, he’d learned to keep his mind from spilling all his new theories or excitement about specific topics. But Tony. Fuck. That man was just as intelligent and had years and years to study whatever topic the man put his mind to. Peter loved learning from him. They would bounce off ideas on one another until both of them would be out of breath from rambling on and on and on. It’d been rather late when they went to bed last night, meaning Tony was still fast asleep. Peter figured that if he finished his homework right now, they’d be able to spend the rest of their day together.

In the end, Peter thinks Tony is taking a bit too long and he wakes him up with a blowjob. Tony loved the surprise and groaned the filthiest things as he guided Peter, fingers tangled tightly in his curls. This time, Peter didn’t allow Tony to get him off. Yes, the boy had been hard, but he wanted to put all focus on the other man for now. Tony’s been working very, very hard on opening up and trying to stop using his mind’s filter around the boy. Peter loves it. Loves him. He’s happy to speed up the process. He feels like they’ve made huge steps when it comes to experiencing all their kinks together so far. It makes him feel more confident.

Later that afternoon they’re curled up on the couch together, watching the last Pirates movie. Peter had been skeptical about the possibility of Tony liking the movies, but to both their surprises, he did enjoy it a lot. He’d been making references all day long. Tony figures they should watch movies together more often. He’d get better at all those pop culture references, and Peter would get some education of the hot items when Tony was younger. It would bring them closer together, he knew that much. “Hmmm, Tony, what do you want for your birthday next week?” Peter asks with a wide grin on his face. Tony groans. “Oh God, why’d you have to bring that up.” “Aren’t you excited?” “To become even older? Not exactly.” “Hmmm, well, I am excited. I want to get you a present. A nice one. What do you want?” “You’re all I need.” Peter huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes. “I know. But, I still want to give you something else.” Tony looks at Peter, who’s eyeing at him with the sweetest and loving look in his eyes and his sarcastic demeanor softens. “I don’t know, actually. I don’t want to sound cliché but, I’ve literally got everything I could ever want or need.” “Hmm, guess I’ll have to be creative then.” Peter grins, causing Tony to raise his eyebrows. “You already got something on your mind, kid?” “Maybe?” He doesn’t have a single clue, but he’ll figure something out. Maybe he could ask Aunt May or Ned for help.

Tony kisses his cheek and turns off the television. “Sooo, is it time for our jar of dirt? No matter how much I think Johnny Depp’s got quite the value in his, I think ours is more… exciting. Peter laughs and nudges his side. It’s pretty much a daily ritual for them now to pick a note when they’re together, so they decided to keep the jar in the living room for the time being. No one else really visits Tony’s private suite anyways. Peter reaches to pick it up and then leans back against the couch. He sticks it out to Tony. “Your turn, daddy!” “Hmmm, let’s see what we got today.” Tony opens the lid. “Are you excited to try some new stuff before you gotta pretend to be an innocent boy back in college?” Peter’s sad that he has to leave again tonight, but seeing how amazing their phone sex had been last week, he knew they would pull through it easily. Besides, they still got tonight. “Very curious what it’s gonna be!” He watches Tony’s hand carefully and the man laughs. “No worries, Peter. I’m not cheating anymore. Look-” Tony fishes one out and Peter doesn’t miss how it makes Tony swallow when he sees it’s one of the white, crisp notes. One of Tony’s. He watches carefully, looking at Tony’s lean fingers as he opens the paper. The man looks at it, frozen in place. Peter doesn’t miss the panic sparking in his eyes, the billionaire’s skin turning paler than he’s ever seen.

“Fuck, no way.” Tony folds the paper and throws it back in the jar, his eyes widened in shock. Peter stares, startled. The other man mutters something inaudible and he draws away from the boy. Peter’s mind immediately chants fuck, fuck, fuck. “Tony?” The older man closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Tony,” Peter says, more gentle this time, scooting closer and placing his hands on his knee, squeezing reassuringly. He can’t let Tony shut down again. He won’t let him. “-what happened?” “I am so sorry. I… This is like, the kink…” Tony takes a moment, taking a deep breath. Peter feels a stab in his chest looking at his lover. He’s never seen Tony like this. So scared. So insecure. “God. Peter. I want to do that one with you. Very, very badly. But I’m not ready for this one yet. I’m sorry.”

Peter swallows down the lump in his throat. Slowly, he pulls Tony in for a hug, holding him close and tight. “Tony… Daddy. I’ve got you. It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s not, though. You’re so brave for me, Peter. You were still a virgin when jumping into all of this with me. And here I am, scared of-” he says, gesturing at the jar angrily, “-something I know you probably wouldn’t judge me for. I just can’t shake this horrible feeling of it being the one thing that might drive you away from me.” He nuzzles his head in the crook of Peter’s neck. He suddenly seems so small compared to his usual composed self. So fragile. “Do you want to talk about it?” “I… Not really. I’m sorry. Let’s say my ex ran away from me when he found out, and I’ve been made fun of more often than not when people knew. I just… Stopped telling people altogether. Haven’t brought it up in years.” The man sighs, breath shaky. “I want to, Peter. You deserve to know. I will, one day. But not today. I can’t.” “That’s okay, Tony. I’m here. Thank you for telling me, I don’t want you to push yourself just because you’re the dominant one.” Tony nods slowly, a hesitant but still nervous smile playing on his lips. “You’re a smart kid.” “Mhm.” They put the jar away and decide to just keep with just cuddles and sweet kissing today. Peter wants to give Tony the space he needs, and Tony enjoys the downtime with his boyfriend. He couldn’t bring himself to have any type of sex after this… fiasco. However, Peter not bolting right away is a good sign. They’ll get there. They will.

-

Peter’s staring at his reflection in the mirror. Tomorrow, it’s Tony’s birthday. Tonight however, is the celebration with all his friends and families and random people that are interested in Mr. Tony Stark for whatever reason. It’ll be fancy. Peter’s never been to a fancy party like this and it’s making him anxious. God. He’s wearing a tux. Everyone knows he’s Tony’s boyfriend. He’s not sure if he’s ready to face all the judgmental staring. The whispers behind his back.

“You look absolutely gorgeous, baby.” Tony whispers, hugging him from behind. “Love seeing you all dressed up. It suits you.” He kisses the boy’s hair and turns Peter around, away from the mirror. “Got you a little something, the cherry on top.” Tony hands him a deep red bow tie and Peter’s eyes widen. “I have no clue how to tie that,” Peter rushes out right away. His nerves are getting the better of him, dammit. Tony shakes his head slowly with a smile. “Let me help.” He takes the bow tie back from Peter’s hands and wraps it around him. Peter closes his eyes as he let’s the man work his magic. He tries taking a deep breath, focusing only on the way Tony’s fingers brush along his skin as he ties it into, of course, a flawless bow. “I know you’re feeling a bit uncomfortable,” Tony starts, lifting his chin up with one finger. “-but we’re gonna show all those idiots out there what we’re made of. Just stick with the people who know us. Know you. If people talk shit to you, talk shit back. Permission granted. If they don’t like it they’re free to leave.” “But- I don’t want to ruin your party." “Kid, believe me, good riddance and all that. I want you and my friends to have a good time. If I could, half of the people here tonight wouldn’t have been invited in the first place.” Peter nods. He gets it. He knows that if it were up to Tony, he would’ve just wanted to invite his closest friends and have a lazy pizza party or whatever. But, him being as famous as he is, it’s not gonna happen. Next year, Peter promises himself, next year he’ll organize a surprise party like that.

And of course, he’s got a surprise for Tony tomorrow.

Two hours into the party, Peter let his guard down. It was a lot of fun. Good music, the happy laughter and clinking of wine glasses, creating a nice, open atmosphere. It was still too fancy for Peter’s liking, but not too stiff. No one seems to be actively bothered by the fact that he’s there. Of course, there’s been some side glancing, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Tony’s advice to just stick with the people he knows had been good. He’d been hanging with Cap and Bucky for a bit, and then, to his surprise, Aunt May who’d been invited as well. When he saw her walking out the elevator he’d nearly teared up. He knew Tony invited her for his sake, and he couldn’t have been more grateful. “Oh, Peter! Look at you!” She’d gasped, her eyes glimmering with pride. “Such a handsome gentleman, aren’t you.” She’s been supportive of their relationship since day one, after interrogating Tony for about an hour, that is. Peter’s lucky to have her in his life.

Right now, he’s trying to get to Tony through the dancing crowd. Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and he flinches, turning around fast. He breaks out into goosebumps right away and he takes a step back. He doesn’t think he’s seen the man in front of him before. Blonde hair slicked back, a slight beard. The man is staring him down and it makes him highly uncomfortable. Something’s definitely off. “Oh, uh, hi, Sir. Can I help you?” “You must be Peter Parker,” the man starts, dragging out his name and then scoffing a laugh. “I’m Quentin Beck. I’m here because I have an offer for you.” “An offer?” “Yeah, you see,” the man leans in as if he’s trying to spill a secret, “-I know that Tony’s rich. But so am I. I can give you more. And not just financially.” He glances down to look at Peter’s crotch. “I have a few inches on that man and just hearing you talk to me like that has me imagining what pretty little sounds you’d make. Sounds that I would get you to make. I know how greedy Stark is. I-” Peter needs a moment to process everything this man is throwing at him and he tries to shift a little to hide his crotch as much as possible. “Look, Mr. Beck. I didn’t get with him for his money if that’s what you’re asking and also no. I’m not interested in… that.”

Peter tries to get away from this creep, feeling sick to his stomach by the comments he made. However, the man grabs his shoulder again, holding him in place. Peter clenches his fists, trying to keep himself from turning around and pushing the man off him. He easily could. He doesn’t want to ruin this party. He wants Tony to have a good night without having to deal with men like this one. “Fuck, you know you want to.” Quentin hisses, his voice getting louder. People around them start to notice, their whispers increasing. “You’re just a needy little boy toy, running after his riches. Such a fucking gold digger. I can see it in your eyes. Don’t deny it.”

That’s it for Peter. He will not let some douchebag talk shit about him and Tony at his freaking party. He grabs the man’s arm and drags him to the elevator, ignoring the shocked faces of the people they pass. He pushes Quentin inside the elevator, with just a tad more force than a normal man would be able to use. The man groans as he comes to a halt against the wall, looking up at Peter in surprise. He too steps into the elevator, closing the doors. He wants to make sure Beck leaves the Tower.

“Take us to the lobby, F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” he says through gritted teeth. “Oh, you’re stronger than you look, aren’t you?” Quentin narrows his eyes, eyeing him once more. “And all that coming from a cute, little twink like you. It’s adorable. I’d have so much fun with you.” “Shut up.” Peter can’t hear another word from this man. “Now, now, don’t go all tough on me. You’re hotter when you’ve got that submissive vibe going on. Don’t think I didn’t notice you re-tying Tony’s shoes earlier tonight. On your knees right in front of him. Like an obedient bitch. God, aren’t you his perfect little toy to play with?” “Shut. Up.” “You’re really living up to his perverted tendencies, aren’t ya?” Peter’s expression falters for only a millisecond, but it didn’t go unnoticed. It sparks something in the other man. “Ah…” Beck coos. “He hasn’t told you yet, has he?”

Before Peter has time to comment on that remark, the elevator comes to a halt and the doors slide open. “Get out.” “Oh, didn’t you like our little bonding session? You think I don’t know what it’s like to be Tony’s slut?” Beck laughs as he steps out the elevator, brushing past Peter. “But sure, I’ll leave you two to it, for now. When you change your mind, come find me. I’ll be looking forward to your pretty moans.” The man laughs again and walks towards the front door, blowing him a kiss. “Ruuffffff!” Peter frowns. Did the man just… Bark?

Peter stares as the doors slide shut, locking the man out. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., deny access to Quentin Beck throughout the entire building.” “Access denied, Peter.” “Good.” He steps back into the elevator. “Take me back to the party.” As the elevator brings him up, Peter thinks about everything that Beck has said. The insults. The insinuations. God. He can’t even believe the things this… creep said to him. If this is Tony’s ex… He feels a tug on his heart. No wonder the man has such trouble opening up to him. And fuck, how brave of Tony to try it anyway. Whatever happens, no matter what Tony’s kink might be, he’s determined to make sure Tony will never feel like this again. He’ll show Tony that Beck is wrong.

When he walks back into the party he goes to find Tony, wanting to give him a long, loving hug. Which is exactly what he does when he spots the dark-haired man in the kitchen, grabbing a little snack. “Hey, Peter, where have you been?” Tony smiles, returning the hug. “Hmmm, just taking out some trash.” “Honey,” Tony laughs. “We got people for that.” “I know, I know.” Peter answers, trying to figure out whether he should tell him what happened. He’d find out anyway. “Just wanted to be absolutely sure he’d leave.” “What, he?” Tony looks down at Peter, his face filled with worry. Oh God. Peter should’ve just not said anything. He knows Tony would never leave it at that. “Hey look, whiskey! You should try it” “Kid, I picked this whiskey, I know what it tastes like, who’d you throw out?” “No one. Just this dude being a little too drunk. It’s fine. I handled it.”

“Peter!” Aunt May’s voice chimes in, and he sighs, grateful for the distraction. “It’s late, darling. I’m going home. You,” she says, pointing at both men. “-have an amazing night. I’ll see you both soon!” She hugs Tony, then Peter, giving him a kiss on his forehead. When the elevator doors close, Peter can almost immediately feel Tony’s demeanor shift. The billionaire wraps his arm around Peter’s waist and pinches him in his side, making Peter jolt slightly and laugh. “You know, Mr Stark-” Peter raises his eyebrows. “I appreciate you waiting for my aunt to leave to become all grabby, but that was fast.” “What can I say?” Tony says softly. “I just prefer you at my side.” Peter scoffs and looks up at Tony with a cheeky smile. “Gonna show me off to all of New York?” “Now, why would I do that?” Tony licks his lips with a smirk, setting the idea aside for later, and he and eyes a small group of people near the bar. “Let’s get you something sweet to drink.”

The rest of the evening felt way different. Tony was teasing. Constantly. From having Peter suck on an ice cube to his hand wandering a little too low on Peter’s back to be socially acceptable. It had the boy hard and aching within half an hour and he still had to pretend everything was all fine. Quentin Beck was long forgotten when Tony fed Peter a bite of some small French treat. One by one people are leaving. It’s late and Tony - as generous as he is - arranged chauffeurs to bring all the people who are too drunk to leave of their own accord to their homes. Tony winked at Peter when he said that he didn’t want anyone to sleep over that night for… Personal reasons.

At about 2am, Steve Rogers was finally ushered out of the Tower. He insisted on helping clean everything up, but Tony promised that it was okay. Tony drops himself on the couch, surrounded by leftover snacks and empty glasses. Multiple party poppers had exploded in this area, leaving confetti everywhere. God, they were going to be finding small pieces of paper for the next half year. Small pieces of paper. Tony’s mind goes back to the jar. Maybe he should take out what scares him the most. Just… Do that when he really feels he and Peter are ready for it. His head falls back and he closes his eyes as he widens his legs, airing out. He groans, tired, and he manages to lift his hands to loosen up his tie.

Suddenly, he feels Peter sit down on top of him, his legs on either side of Tony’s body. His soft, small hands take the tie out of Tony’s rough ones and he tightens the tie again as he leans in, grinding down into Tony’s crotch. A sweet moan falls off Peter’s lips. “Look so hot in these clothes, boss. Keep them on, please?” Tony’s eyes go dark with lust as he pushes Peter back slightly. Oh, he likes where this is going. He bites his lip and his hands roam over Peter’s chest. The soft fabric of his button-up wrinkling under his touch. “I like you better without clothes,” he mutters. One by one, he starts opening the buttons of Peter’s shirt. Peter keeps grinding against Tony, whimpering at the attention. When Tony opens the last button, his hands move up to Peter’s shoulders to push both the jacket and the shirt down his arms, discarding them to be found after the fun. Tony flicks the bow tie he didn’t take off with his index finger. “Though… I’ll leave the little bow on my present.” The compliment makes Peter blush and smile.

After an entire night of teasing, Peter’s feeling bold. Also horny as fuck, but bold. “Want me to put on a show for you, daddy?” He asks, cocking his head. Tony nods, an uncharacteristically loving look in his eye. Peter wastes no time, trailing his hands over his body, teasing himself further. He traces the lines of his abs until he reaches his nipples, evading them and letting go to push his hands through his hair, all while still grinding down on his daddy. He lowers his hands, presenting them to Tony, bringing them to his mouth. The billionaire slowly licks up Peter’s index finger and then moves quickly in order to wet all of Peter’s fingers with his tongue. Peter thanks his daddy before bringing his digits back to his nipples. He squeezes them. Plays with them, not pausing his slow grinding into Tony’s crotch. They’re both hard and the friction is dizzying. Soft, sweet whimpers and moans fall down Peter’s lips and Tony soaks up everything, taking in every second of how his good boy plays with himself.

Peter starts speeding up. His breathing quickens and his moans turn more desperate. It’s too much for Tony’s liking. He doesn’t want the boy to come just yet. “Get up, Peter,” he orders. “Why don’t you strip naked for me and get on your knees like a good boy would?” Peter obeys without second thought. He hates the sudden lack of attention on his hard-on, but he can’t say he’s not enjoying the attention he gets from Tony. Tony angles his head up to look Peter in the eye, yet Peter still feels like he’s smaller. With one turn of his hand, F.R.I.D.A.Y. knows exactly which playlist to turn on. Peter had made fun of Tony for having a sex playlist, but he now realizes that the music has a whole different effect on him in this situation. Peter takes the music as an invitation to start swaying his hips. He smiles and closes his eyes, amazed at the fact that 15-year-old Peter Parker would never have imagined giving Tony Stark a fucking striptease. Yet here he is. Shoes and socks discarded, playing with the hem of his trousers.

Tony drinks it all up. The way Peter is thoroughly enjoying himself. Touching himself. As if there is no one else in the room. Eyes closed, a dreamy smile on his face. Peter toys with the belt around his waist and something inside Tony screams at him to take the belt and use it. Maybe as a collar with a leash, or maybe to spank his pretty boy’s pert butt. He holds back, though. For now. Tony lazily palms his hard-on through his pants while Peter tosses the belt aside. He slowly pushes down his pants and underwear at the same time. His cock springs free and Tony can tell it must be aching, so hard.

The air is cold on Peter’s skin and he feels naked. Well, he is naked, but it feels worse. More humiliating, with Tony still fully clothed in his incredibly expensive, Italian suit. Peter keeps turning eights with his hips, in tune with the music, pushing his hands through his hair again and letting his fingers with the remains of Tony’s saliva still on them linger on his lips. He sucks on his digit, feeling the sensual beat of the song thrum through his body. His hands move down, not touching where he wants to be touched. He knows he doesn’t have permission. He vaguely recalls Tony had ordered him to get on his knees, so slowly, he lowers himself and sits down with his knees slightly spread, displaying himself for daddy. His hips still rolling sensually and slowly to the music.

“My perfect, little slut…” Tony groans as he unzips his pants, relishing in the power imbalance. He slowly pulls out his hard cock and strokes it a few times, watching Peter’s jaw go slack. The boy nearly drools at the sight and it only spurs Tony on. “You want this, don’t you?” Peter nods, only half present. His mind hyper-focusing on the throbbing shaft in Tony’s hand. “Yes,” he whispers. “Want your cock, daddy.” “Mmm…” Tony moans. “Such a good cockslut for daddy. Come here, boy. Come get your reward.” Peter has to get on all fours to be able to move closer and Tony nearly bursts at the sight of Peter crawling towards him, back arched, butt sticking out and eyes still strained on Tony’s cock. He decides that he imagined the boy’s tongue hanging out slightly, but part of him is sure he saw it.

Peter opens his mouth wide and his lips wrap around Tony’s dick. Moaning lewdly at the contact. The vibrations send shivers through Tony’s entire body and he pets the boy’s head as Peter does as told, his hands slightly trembling. It nearly knocks his breath out of his chest. Peter’s perfect. So submissive. So eager. “Oh yes,” he sighs, “-just like that, baby. Sucking me so well.” The older man can’t help himself. He knows he’s threading the border of giving into his kink too much, but with Peter unconsciously initiating it, he needs to have that little taste. He hooks his finger through the bowtie still around Peter’s neck, tugging on it. Peter whines, letting Tony guide him without pausing the movements around Tony’s cock. ““F-Fuck, baby, the things I wanna do to you. My pretty boy,” he grunts, tugging at the tie.

“Mine.”

Peter’s entire body is burning, tingling underneath the dominant presence that’s Tony. He loves how much he praises him, spurs him to go on. He wants to. Never wants this to stop. Every gasp that leaves the billionaire’s mouth, every little brush of his fingers, it sends Peter closer and closer to that mindspace that Tony had explained to him last week. “Peter, baby, slow down for a bit, will you?” “Hmmm?” He moans around Tony’s cock and obeys, slowly bobbing his head up and down while looking up. “That’s right, look at me sweetness. Daddy wants to see that pretty gaze of yours.” Tony whispers, making Peter’s mind spin even more. Tony’s eyes are sweet, and loving, yet demanding in a way that has the boy shiver all over. “Want me to fuck you?” Peter nods desperately. “I could fuck you over the desk, huh, how does that sound? You could call me boss again, I really liked that, Peter.” Tony caresses the boy’s cheek, enjoying the little blush creeping up there. “Or I could fuck you against the window. Show all of New York who your pretty body belongs to.” He tangles his fingers into Peter’s hair gently, tugging the boy off his cock. Peter gasps for fresh air. Fuck, he looks obscene. “What do you want, Peter. Answer me,” he orders, “-honestly.” “T-the window,” the boy chokes out. “Please, boss.” Tony smirks at his newly given name, licking his lips. “Excellent choice, now, get that pretty ass of yours to the window. Hands on the glass, legs spread. I’ll get the lube.”

He watches as the boy scrambles to his feet and walks over to the window. Tony has to bite back a moan when he sees how incredibly stunning he looks. His pale skin shimmering in the New York City lights. “Good boy. Stay.” Tony startles himself with those words and he bites down on his bottom lip harshly. Fuck, he should really get a grip on himself. He shakes his head quickly and rushes off to the bedroom to get the lube.

Once he grabs the bottle, he realizes he should probably buy a new one soon as they’ve nearly run out. It makes him grin. He hasn’t ran out of lube this soon in a long time. When he walks back into the living room and is pleased to see Peter still in the exact same position. Waiting patiently. His eyes are closed and his body occasionally twitches to the music that’s still playing. He walks towards the boy slowly, knowing that Peter must be hyper-aware of his movements.

“You’re gorgeous,” Tony whispers, “-can’t wait to ruin you.” When he’s nearly reached Peter, the boy reaches into his presence. Arching his back real nicely, sticking his ass out a little further. Tony trails his fingers across the soft skin and he leans in, his lips mere inches away from Peter’s ears. “Tell me how badly you want to fuck me, baby boy. How eager are you?” “Oh, shit, Mr. Stark. So badly, please. Been thinking about you fucking me all day!” “Yeah?” “Y-Yeah! I-” Peter cries out when Tony’s hand reaches around his waist to grab his hard-on. “Need you inside me. Please.” “Hmmm, you sure you don’t want me to just jack you off, you respond to it so nicely.” Tony coos, voice sweet as honey as he gives a few experimental tugs. “No, I need more than that. I want you to pound into me fast, and rough, and hard. Claiming me as yours, daddy.”

Tony’s composure is crumbling down with each word the boy speaks. He curses under his breath and lets go of him quickly to squirt a generous amount of lube on his dick, dropping the bottle to the floor. He spreads the lube across his shaft and grips Peter’s hip tightly with his other hand. “The entire city’s gonna know you’re my pretty slut, baby.” “Y-yes. Show them. I want it.” That’s it. Tony growls, taking every little bit of effort to not push himself all the way in. He’s slow. Just pushing in the head and waiting for the boy to relax in his arms. He hasn’t been prepped, not really. He knows the kid’s been using the dildo multiple times throughout the past week, but still. He wants to make sure he’s good. The tight heat clenching around him isn’t making that any easier, though. “Peter, baby, I’ve got you.” He says, grazing his teeth across the smooth neck. “Can’t believe how big you are, daddy! Please, please go all the way in. I want to feel you more.” Tony swallows and complies, pushing until he’s completely inside his sweet little boy. He’s so tight. So warm around him.

“Can you see your own reflection in the window, Peter? See how hot you are?” Peter nods frantically in response, feeling one of Tony’s hands curl around his neck, raising his head and making his back arch. The vague image of himself opposite him has him whimpering, but it’s when he sees Tony’s hungry look- his eyes boring straight through Peter via his reflection that has him buck. He tries to keep still but he presses himself against Tony involuntarily, jolting and moaning. “Fuck, you’re already so desperate. So gorgeous. All of New York can see what a horny, little slut you are for me.” Peter can’t contain himself, moaning obscenely and closing his eyes, feeling Tony’s fingers dig into his skin on his hip and below his jaw. “I’m your slut, daddy, I’m yours, yours alone, please fuck me-”

Tony slowly moves out, bending his hips at an angle before pushing back in. The boy gasps and the thrust has them both move closer to the window until Peter’s chest is flush against it, nipples rubbing on the cold hard glass. “Oh, Peter-” Tony moans, his mouth leaving wet kisses on the back of Peter’s neck. He moves back out again and when he pushes back in, he decides to follow the rhythm of the song that’s playing. It’s slow. And he knows how much Peter hates that. Well, he doesn’t really, but Tony likes to tease. Halfway through the song, Peter’s ragged breaths turn to continuous whines as the window fogs up from their fucking. The glass constantly stimulates Peter’s nipples. Tony’s been leaving hickeys all over the boy’s upper back and neck, quietly annoyed that they will be gone by morning because of Peter’s increased healing speed. And his thrusts…

“Sh-shit, Mr. Stark, Tony, daddy, boss, please-” Peter pleads. “H-harder, faster!” “As you wish, sweet pet,” Tony growls, once again swearing at himself for letting go too much. It does fuel his arousal though, and he speeds up, slowly, knowing which angle to take to hit Peter exactly where he wants him. “R-right there-OH!” Peter opens his mouth wide, a pleasured frown curls his brows. His eyes roll back in their sockets. “Go on, Peter, push back. Help daddy out. Fuck yourself on me.” Tony has to move both hands to Peter’s hips to keep up with the boy’s sudden surge of excitement. A string of short “ohs” falling from both their lips as they fuck each other. Peter’s hard cock bounces against his abdomen, occasionally bumping against the ice-cold window, causing him to gasp at the impact.

Last week, after one of their phone sex sessions, Tony had explained to Peter that men don’t have a G-spot, but a P-spot. Peter said that, though he knew, he liked G-spot more. He chuckled when he said: “My penis is my P-spot.” Which in turn, had Tony laughing out loud. “So you prefer it if we call it G-spot?” Peter was quiet for a second before replying. “I… I do.” “What’s with the pause, kid?” “I- I kind of like the female terms, Mr. Stark.” If Tony didn’t have a cooldown-time on his dick, he’d have been hard again.

He’s been wanting to test other female terms ever since, but they haven’t really had the chance. Now, however, with Peter as far gone as he is, he knows it’s the perfect timing. “How’s it feel, boy? My cock fucking your pussy until you’re leaking my cum-” Peter scrunches his eyes shut in response only able to let out a string of incomprehensible vowels. Tony grins wickedly, pumping into the boy without remorse. Peter’s eyes roll back in their sockets and he’s unsure if he’s able to keep himself upright. Tony holds on to him though. Tony’s got him. Daddy’s got him. “Fuck, so pretty with your tits rubbing all over the windows. You’ll be seeing stars tonight, Pete, and it won’t be the stars out there-” Peter feels like he’s losing himself in the moment, the sensation of Tony’s dick ramming right into his G-spot overwhelming him. He cries out when the man grabs his cock and pumps it fast. “Daddy-daddy-daddy-daddy-” Neither of them can hear the music anymore. The slapping noises of their skin clashing together and their moans and whines drowning out everything else.

“You’re gonna cum all over the glass, baby? Such a messy boy aren’t you?” Tony growls, increasing the pace of his hand around Peter’s throbbing cock even more. “Show me.” Peter’s trembling by now, unable to hold still, unable to form any coherent word. His forehead resting on the glass, just taking everything that Tony’s willing to give him. He’s so close. So damned. close. “I want you to come for me. Let it all out. Come, Peter, darling.” All it takes is just a couple more strokes for Peter to cry out loud. His body tenses, clenching around Tony and spilling himself all over the glass. He collapses, holding himself up but barely. “That’s my boy, good job, baby,” Tony praises his lover and picks up his speed, holding Peter steady. “Daddy’s gonna come inside of you. F-fuck!” Tony grunts, his hips buck forward and don’t move back, pushing into Peter as deep as he can as he releases into his sweet body.

Both men try to catch their breaths as they sink into each other. Tony’s still fully clothed body supporting Peter from behind. This must be Tony’s favorite moment throughout all this. He loves everything; the teasing, the stroking, the fucking. But this, having Peter soft and sweet and fucked-out in his arms. That’s what makes his heart flutter in his chest and want to hold onto this boy forever. “Mr. Stark…” Peter breathes softly. “That… That was amazing.” “Oh, it was sweetness. Best birthday present ever.” Peter chuckles at that, pushing himself off the glass a little and craning his neck to look Tony in his eyes. “Can we go to bed? I want to cuddle.” “Of course,” Tony smiles and presses a kiss on Peter’s cheek before pulling out carefully. Ignoring the strain in his back, he picks the boy up bridal style, making him squeal. “-I’m gonna cuddle you all night.”

--- More: Chapter 7 Masterpost

[kashyyyyk]

i was tagged my the lovely @theleavesoflorien to answer these questions, so here goes :))

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

blue actually! but idk why

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

the country ideally, bc cities are just too noisy, too grey, too many people. but on the other hand, ppl in the country are boring af... so. guess i could live anywhere where i had some peace and quiet and nature on the one hand, and some interesting ppl on the other - one can dream ig, lol

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

any skill would be nice X’D but i guess writing, always. and not being a procrastinator. just being able to focus and actually finish/achieve smth. would be great (if that’s even a “skill”)

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

coffee sometimes (aka when it’s bad coffee lol); tea never (tho i’d put in honey sometimes)

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

gosh i have no idea. i remember liking most books by Marc De Bel and Patrick Lagrou (both Flemish writers) and then as a teenager ig it had to be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!   

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

i like both, but maybe baths, which have that additional element of “i’ve got time to relax rn” which is always great

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

werewolf :’) or smth that lives in the ocean (not a mermaid tho, i’m not 12) like a giant turtle or smth, or some big cat (i don’t know my mythology wow), or a dragon :33333

8. Paper or electronic books?

paper! ♥ which goes against my eco principles but i just loooove books and can’t get myself to read on a screen

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

my mom jeans :’) 

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

i don’t like it at all D: if money wasn’t a factor, i probably would’ve changed it already, sorry @ my parents but yes

11. Who is a mentor to you?

George Harrison :’)

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

writing fantasy/scifi books or shows/movies pls and thanks ♥

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

i sleep like a log, which ig is why i wake up feeling like one XD

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?

lol. i used to... guess deep down i still am, even tho i’ve completely embraced ace/aro life for now. would never go for any of that sappy stuff tho, but some epic kind of soulmates love, i’m one of the idiots who believes in that shit :’)

15. Which element best represents you?

water ♥ and i guess air to a certain extent

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

lmao @theleavesoflorien, Henry Cavill, HARD SAME :’))) or Dhani Harrison for that matter :3 ~the 2 Main Platonic Baes~ but in all realness, i’d just wish i had any rl friends that i vibed with on a soul level /rip

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

my brother i guess, always ♥

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

re-enacting The Lion King with my brother XD and generally just making up stories with him - @theleavesoflorien, we did the radio shows/quizzes too! brilliant XD

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

fermented shark, in Iceland. i highkey would not recommend 

20. What are you most thankful for?

still being alive i suppose :’) tho sometimes these days i wish i wasn’t. also, great music, books, tv shows, movies ♥ and whatever unspoiled nature we still have

21. Do you like spicy food?

sure! tho not like really spicy ig

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

i met Michael Palin in 2018 at a book signing ♥_♥ after a talk he did. and i said i’d liked the talk and he said thanks :’))))) also met Terry Gilliam last year and we talked for 2 secs ♥ and ig there were others but i can’t remember right now. oh yeah, talked to Finn Jones at a con one time :’)

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

lol yeah like about 5 of them XD all for different aspects of my life i suppose. i have the worst memory in the world, so i need this to literally remember things

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pen

25. What is your star sign?

cancer sun / leo moon / scorpio rising 

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

oh my fuck who would like soggy cereal o_____O

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

idk, just generally being remembered at all would be nice. would be great to have contributed something noticeable, but having made people happy in some way at all would do ig

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

LMAO yes :’) i’m reading a few dozen atm, but the last one i finished was Sign of Chaos by Roger Zelazny, part of the Amber series i’ve read about 6 times now instead of reading new things

29. How do you show someone you love them?

no idea :’)) just be there for them ig. giving them some of my time must mean i love them bc i loooovvvveee my time :’)

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

not really actually. if it needs to be cold i’d rather just have it chilled than have ice in it

31. What are you afraid of?

dying without really having lived :’) /harsh truths hour

32. What is your favourite scent?

peaches, basil, privet, monoï, ....

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

gosh, depends on the situation. i guess i’d say sir or madam (without the surname tho) and i mean older as in at least 20y older

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

not working for anyone else another day in my life. except if i found something i really want to get behind and put some effort in. hopefully write for pleasure tho, which would hopefully come easier since i wouldn’t be stressed at all times. i’d like to live near the ocean and the jungle, surrounded by a only few but likeminded people ♥

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

love ♥ the ocean, tho i also scares me lol. would say a natural pool or a lake without too many weeds in it :’)

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

take it ofc

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

oh yes! i always make a wish :) and the same one each time too

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

that they’re okay, that of course growth is important, but that they’re enough as they are, and only have to change if they want it, not for anyone else. i’d try to teach them empathy and respect for all beings and the earth we live on

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

got three already, but i’m contemplating George Harrison’s squiggly sun drawing from his Here Comes the Sun manuscript, maybe on my ankle? still considering Tolkien’s dragon drawing too. an ॐ somewhere definitely, maybe combined with some lotus thing, idk yet..

40. What can you hear right now?

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig in the Sky (Live, from Pulse)

41. Where do you feel the safest?

in my flat. or in nature when there’s no one around. in fact i feel safe most places where there’s not too many people around

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my procrastination

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

ooof, difficult choice. maybe just super far back to hunter-gatherer times tbh XD like okay, not that intellectually or spiritually developed, but still in touch with the actual earth we live on as simply another species, before assuming we were anything “more” or w/e, before any money or power or religion came into play ♥

44. What is your most used emoji?

i’m on the computer now so, hmmmm but: ok hand, and the crying emoji, and the two hearts, and ofc the “this is fine” content smiling one XD sorry idk how to describe it

45. Describe yourself using one word.

idiot

46. What do you regret the most?

not having taken my life into my own hands in my 20s... but i honestly try not to regret much anymore. i guess my 20s couldn’t have gone much different all things considered, and i did learn from them

47. Last movie you saw?

Mortal Kombat X’D

48. Last tv show you watched?

Red Dwarf ♥♥♥

49. Invent a word and its meaning

this is too difficult :’)))))

as usual i’m lazy and tag anyone who feels like doing this! ~♥

[inkedsevans]

seeing red. | solo

WHO: sam evans (with mentions of others)

WHAT: he should have expected this. sam runs into an old, unfriendly face.

WHEN: 2/8; evening.

WHERE: the maggie

WARNINGS: mentions of alcoholism; and also violence.

In hindsight, Sam realized maybe, he should have expected this. Perhaps not subconsciously, but part of him was at least prepared for the talk. After all, it was all anyone in Castleport ever fucking did. And growing up the son of the town’s most infamous bar owner (and notorious drunk), he was used to it. The looks, the whispers, the same snarky comments from the people who’d mock his father but still find their asses on The Maggie’s bar stools on any given night. 

And maybe, that was the reason he never got as angry as he could have, should have. Make no mistake; he was plenty angry at the overstepping and invasion of his family’s privacy. But these people would talk their shit while lining the tills though that was barely enough to keep his temper leashed. 

Until that blog interfered. Once again, putting his family’s business on blast for all the town to see...and for what. What was the reason for bringing the attention to his father’s whereabouts? Sam wasn’t sure what irritated him more. That it happened or that if it hadn’t, he wouldn’t have even known the name of the facility where his father was currently drying out. 

He’d discarded the paper with the information Quinn had given him, pushing it back towards her after their fight. And true to his word, he hadn’t mentioned his father to Stacy. He didn’t know if she’d gone to visit James, choosing instead to maintain his icy silence where their father was concerned. It wasn’t his money paying for this overpriced excursion and he wasn’t about to dig deeper. 

That attitude had obviously not been extended to the rest of Castleport. The antics of some anonymous asshole had once again put a spotlight on his family and their issues. The mean-spirited, callousness of it all called to mind the weirdness from last year. The pranks inflicted on him and others he knew. It wasn't completely off to think it was connected, the anonymity and hyper focus just as irritating as being locked in a freezing shed, but Sam couldn't connect the dots. 

Maybe the only thing it all had in common was his anger. It was harder to push aside now, though. The strain of it visible in the hunched line of broad shoulders and his jaw, clenched so tightly it gave him a headache. Hiding away wouldn't do. He couldn't do it; he had hours at the shop, clients to see and he was thankful the distance between Castleport and Portland was significant enough that he could work in relative peace, dodging looks and questions. 

It lasted until he reached The Maggie. 

The new bartender Natasha was a recent transplant to Castleport, from an even smaller town in upstate New York and Sam was glad to have her around. She was funny, good at her job, and Sam wouldn’t have to worry about replacing broken glasses. Really, all he needed to do was come in occasionally whenever office work was required. 

It could have waited until the next morning, when the bar was empty and he didn’t have to make small talk with anyone outside of the AM cleaning crew. But Sam told himself it was just a quick check-up. He parked around back and entered through the back exit, ignoring the sounds of clinking glasses and the din of voices that came from the bar. 

The office was spotless, everything in order, just the way his father had left it. At least there was some semblance of business as usual, the bar chugging along smoothly, even with the months-long absence of its owner. Marie, angel that she was, had even managed to take care of the liquor orders and the other business particulars, leaving Sam well and truly free for the evening. 

He turned to leave, this time going down the hallway, past the bathrooms and into the bar. It was packed, just like he figured. It was karaoke night and he could already see Wade, their usual MC gabbing on the microphone and getting the crowd hype in between the list of singers. 

Wild how even something like gossip wouldn’t stop people from coming in. Or maybe gossip was the reason, despite his very public opposition to it. He didn’t miss the furtive glances in his direction as he shouldered his way through the crowd to the bar. Sam barely acknowledged people with nothing more than a passing nod, unwilling to be drawn into a conversation that would no doubt bring up whatever that gossip rag had to spew. And he was nowhere near drunk enough for that. 

Not that he wanted to drink. Sometimes, he thought about it, being so bombed out of his mind that thinking was made impossible. But the idea of it, the visions of cleaning up his father’s messes, and the glassy-eyed stare of nothingness stopped him from ever going too far. He couldn’t remember the last time he was wasted. Buzzed, maybe. But getting past any point beyond that terrified him. He was already dealing with enough shit as it were, no need to add a drinking problem to the list. 

Thoughts swirling, he let them take a backseat when he approached the shiny bar top, greeting Natasha with a smile and nodding at Danny, the other evening bartender. He was a good guy, graduated two years behind Sam and coached little league baseball in his free time. 

Sam shrugged out of his leather jacket and leaned on the bar top at the very end, blocking any drunk random from coming around and into the employee area. Olive eyes scanned the room, taking note of the mood. It seemed no worse than usual, but the night was fairly young and everyone wasn’t as deep into their cups just yet. He winced as the opening notes of some stale classic rock song filled the space, followed by a voice that could only be described as ‘godawful’ singing the words off-key and loud, seemingly spurred on by the raucous cheers that rose up. 

Natasha dropped a beer in front of him with a sympathetic smile, and Sam figured his displeasure must have been evident if she was placating him with a pilsner peace offering. Long fingers gripped the tall glass, watching the white foam settle into the golden lager before he lifted it to his lips for a tiny sip. 

One beer, and then he was out. The day’s exhaustion and bullshit drama had worn him out and Sam was tired of being ‘on’. He was ready for a quiet night of sweats and clearing out his streaming queue. 

Twenty minutes and four singers later, he was still nursing his beer and surveying the action. As much as people eyed him, they seemed more interested in staring him down than actually approaching. And he wasn’t sure which annoyed him more. Being treated like some ticking time bomb, some sideshow spectacle to take it at a distance, as if his feelings were unimportant. Whatever. Soon as his beer was finished, he was leaving, anyway. He was still weighing the options of going out the back way or taking the less crowded route through the front door when the smell of sweat and cheap beer hit him suddenly. 

He glanced up, nose wrinkling slightly at the sight before him. Rick ‘The Stick’ Nelson. Former hockey captain at Castleport High and forever a jackass. Sam had never liked the guy, not since their days in youth hockey, when Rick had swiped Sam on the ice, nearly fracturing Sam’s wrist with his stick and Sam returned the favor by smashing Rick into the Plexiglas. 

Last he’d heard, Rick had been in some front office job with the Bruins, no doubt bought and paid for by his father, who owned several sports equipment stores in Maine. So it was a surprise to see him lingering around town, and hovering around Sam, no less. 

“‘Sup, Samantha” Rick offered, thin lip curling into a cocky grin as if he’d delivered the best joke ever. 

“Rick the Dick. Least that hasn’t changed. Nice to see you lost the mullet, though.” Sam shifted back slightly, needing to get away from the overwhelming smell of the other man’s cologne. “Why are you here? In my bar, and in my face.” 

“Just passing through, checking out some possible recruits. Can’t believe this shithole’s still open. Gotta be tough to keep the place running when the owner’s drinking half the profits.” Rick’s grin slipped into a sneer, one Sam knew so well when it came to a particular tax bracket in a town like Castleport. Those types who always enjoyed reminding everyone else just how beneath them they really were.

Sam turned, elbows resting atop the bar to keep him from clenching his fists as outwardly, he attempted a look of bored indifference. “Shouldn’t you be moving along? There’s no jockstraps you gotta collect back in Boston? The Bruins must miss their best errand boy.” 

Rick laughed, the sound of it chipped and hard like ice and it only stoked an ugly feeling in Sam. “Nice. You were always a funny guy. Guess you gotta be, balances out the fuck-up. But hey, I hear congrats are in order. The old man’s in rehab. What’s that, first time sober in a decade?” Sam felt the hand come down hard on his shoulder and the smell of Rick’s boozy breath hitting him hard as the other man leaned in. “Shit, Rock Harbor. Gotta draw a lot of shitty tattoos to make those payments.” 

“Get your fuckin’ hand off me.” Sam didn’t bother turning to face him. He knew baiting when he heard it, knew it wouldn’t take much more for him to react, and he wasn’t sure if he was more annoyed at Rick or himself. 

Nah, it was definitely at Rick. 

He could see the look of concern that Natasha sent his way but he brushed it off with a minute shake of his head. He wasn’t going to drag anyone else into this shit. Rick was looking to be an asshole, and Sam didn’t want to play that game. 

He jerked out of the other man’s hold, his elbow clipping Rick’s bottle of beer and Sam winced when it slipped and dropped to the floor, smashing in a mess of glass and beer. 

“What the fuck, man!” Rick sputtered, loudly, drawing the attention of a few people sitting around. “It was just a joke, no need to smash my drink.” 

“That was all you,” Sam replied simply. He was in no mood for the show Rick was clearly gearing up for, especially as more people seemed to be paying attention. “You talked your shit and now your drink’s gone. Time to call it a night.” 

That didn’t sit well with Rick. His face, as ruddy as his rust-colored hair, contorted with anger and he glanced around at the growing audience before replying, raising his voice dramatically. “That’s how you treat a paying customer? Shit, everyone in here knows you need the money. Your daddy’s rehab bill ain’t gonna pay itself.” 

There was an audible gasp at that, and Sam exhaled, slowly. The ugly feeling rose, churning hotly in his gut and he could feel the twitch in his fingers. It grew watching Rick, who now that he’d gotten some attention, decided to kick it up a notch. He pulled out his wallet and tossed some bills in Sam’s face, the crowd’s reaction louder as the bills fluttered to the floor. 

“Better pick those up, Evans. That’s at least three therapy sessions for your drunk ass father. Better yet…” More money followed, landing right on the others but not before clipping Sam in the collar and his fingers flexed before curling tightly. The nails dug into the flesh of his palms and his peridot eyes were hard and flat as Rick fixed him with that stupid fucking sneer. “That’s for you. Just in case. ‘Cause it’s obvious fuck-up runs in the family.” 

Sam didn’t even know when he reached for the other man. But it was only when he felt that first punch connect with Rick’s cheek, and heard the exclamations did he realize what he’d done. 

It didn’t stop him, though. 

Something inside him snapped, the throb in his knuckles jolting him into the moment, focused and steeped in a hot fury that shook his hands but they were steady when he delivered another blow. It was so satisfying, seeing the blood, Rick’s lip already swelling before he managed to even hit Sam back. 

Sam barely registered the right hook to his eye, ignoring the pain of it and busied himself with busting Rick’s nose. The crunch of cartilage and Rick’s pained groans as Sam delivered another blow was the only sounds he could register, ignoring the way the music stopped and how people clamored out of their way, the noise of voices and shouts fading while he pummeled Rick, not even bothering to dodge the other man’s wild defensive swings. He didn’t feel anything, only that angry, ugly heat burning in his belly, letting his blows land hard and fast. 

Rick was on the ground when the bouncers finally managed to make it through the crowd to see what the commotion was about. Sam stood over him, chest heaving. He licked his lips, tasting the blood and the sting of an already swelling cut on his bottom lip and that only made him angrier. He watched the bouncers help Rick to his feet, cursing and swaying and Sam stepped forward,ready to bust him up again but was met with a hand to his shoulder from Kevin, one of the bouncers. 

He looked around, at the various reactions from the crowd. Stunned, impressed. Disgusted. 

Fuck them. 

Fuck this. 

“Get him outta here,” he told Kevin, who simply nodded and led the way while Rick shouted back at Sam, the words inaudible over the chatter of the crowd. 

Adrenaline pumped through him, his hands shaking with it as he grabbed his jacket from the bar top, not even bothering to look back at the bartenders as he stepped over the small pile of bills on the floor and moved toward the back door, finding it easier to get through the crowd with nearly everyone giving him a wide berth. 

He made it to his truck out back, and slid inside, the tremble in his hands still going strong, and the cold had done nothing to ease the hot anger roiling inside him. His gaze fell to his knuckles. Stinging and slightly bloody. Barely able to grip the steering wheel. Sam didn’t know how long he sat there, waiting for the shivery feeling to leave him before he finally pulled away and drove towards home.

[someonefromseoul]

Fuck Me.

Hello. I don’t know who or what I’m directing this to but I’ll just pretend there’s someone actually reading this. Temptation is a strong fundamental desire that doesn’t always have our best interest. Like that time you look in the mirror wishing you haven't had that donut for lunch, or that other time when you turn and toss, only to find yourself not being able to sleep at 4am from the nap you had earlier that day.

I feel like shit right now. I had oily ass bacon for breakfast, cup noodles for brunch, pepperoni pizza for lunch, ice cream cone for dessert, almond soy bean milk as my “work drink”, only to transition my day into a nap.

I feel bloated as fuck and my pimples are having the time of their lives, meeting new friends and such. 

So this only leads me to my usual routine of self hatred and disgust for a solid hour, drotting down what the rest of my day will look like just to fool myself to thinking I’m productive, and get on Tumblr to waste more time complaining about my day!

Okay, but here’s the deal. I really do want to get better again. I stopped working out ever since my gym closed down from that fucking coronavirus (yes, I am that spoiled and self centered only to be complaining about my gym closing during this time of crisis) which has been a couple of months now. 

I had diet fillers on my chin area to get rid of my chin fat right before the quarantine. That was a fucking waste of money since my double chin is back.

Anyway, my point is that I want to be somewhat sane again. My mind is literally going crazy over being stuck at home and I clearly don’t love my body enough judging by how I’ve been treating it. 

I put a face mask earlier today. That’s a change. I’m going to work out starting NOW. In like a few hours. And I’m going to document the progress and process because I want to see the change and actually hold myself accountable if I don’t go through with this. 

So this is the plan.

1. I am 51.8kg (114.2 pounds) right now. My goal weight is 48kg (105 pounds). Okay, so basically my goal is to lose around 10 pounds.

2. I just started an art instagram. Try to post three times a week. I want to have 10 followers by the end of May. And NOT by asking my limited amount of friends to follow. I want to connect with real strangers who are really there for my art.

3. My fucked up skin. Let’s try to clear that out as soon as possible as well. I know I have oily skin and a huge part of that comes down to what I consume. Let’s fucking please stay away from oily and salty food. Drinks permitted is only water, tea, and sometimes alcohol. 

4. Speaking of alcohol, try to stay away from that. Which I’m doing a good job of these days because I’m “social distancing” (no friends). I’m going out tomorrow though but let’s really try to keep it like max 3 drinking nights per month. MAX. preferably once to none.

5. You can never single out alcohol when you’re a smoker. Hi, hello, I’m a smoker. I’ll write a post going more in depth about my smoking journey. Long story short, I’ve been smoking since August of 2013. So like 7 years already. I genuinely don’t know why I started it. Actually that’s a lie, I got into it because I thought it looked cool and I wanted to fit in. Sad, sad weakling I was. Anyway, I’m going to QUIT. I literally say this like merry Christmas to the point my friends just roll their eyes at me whenever I say this. Like, let’s really try to make this a reality instead of this having to be that time I cried wolf again. LIKE PLEASE. For yourself, man. You know you’re getting old and it’s not like you have any more health to spare.

6. Work on my art project. You know which one I mean. I want to keep it on the down low. To roughly plan, I want to work on my portfolio around June July and August. but by June, let’s focus on instagram, enhancing my drawing skills from proko, and this personal art project I’m not going to specifically go into because it’s confidential. Let’s call it Arty. So yeah, finish Arty.

7. My relationships. Mind you, I’ve never seen a therapist because I’m not financially independent and it’s a taboo subject to bring up in Asian culture. At least with my family. So no, I haven’t been professionally diagnosed, but who needs a doctor when we have google, right? So to preface, this is not a legitimate claim I’m making. But I strongly think and believe that I have anxiety; especially social anxiety and an avoidant personality disorder. I definitely deal with SOMETHING-I do plan on going to a therapist the moment I get the chance to, which is hopefully, soon. Anyway, getting back on topic. I want to work on my relationships with my friends and family because I’ve literally been in my shell for the past couple of months. Avoiding people at all costs. Not healthy at all.

8. My mental health. Probably the most important one. If this was a meat house and I could grade my health, I would give it a B+. Definitely not a S, not exactly an A either-but on the fence between A and B. Not quite A- but more of a B+. I don't have any serious health issues but I’m not great either. I feel slightly uncomfortable when breathing, my mind is foggy, and I think I might have hemorrhoids soon. Literally keeps me up at night because it frightens me-I constantly flex my butthole just in case things might peep out (sorry for the TMI but this is my fucking blog so deal) (me still pretending like someone’s actually still reading this shit post) I lose sleep over it, don’t even get me started. Anyway, if my body health is a B+, my mental health is probably around a B-. I don’t think it’s around the C level, but it’s definitely below average (average being a B). It’s at the verge of either becoming average or enter into the C level. A or S is obviously out of reach with my potential right now. But I want to get to an A; possibly to a S some day. Some day. A girl can dream. Anyway, how I want to go about this is to keep writing on this blog. Because I have a fake ass personality, I literally hide my real self to everybody. Kinda psycho like that. At least this little spot can be my safe space where I can get all my genuine shit out. To be serious for 2 seconds, I think I’m fake to people these days because I don’t feel comfortable being completely myself. My self esteem really plummeted after I graduated high school. I’ve been shushing myself internally too-shaming myself about how stupid and weird I sound. I’ve been trying to press down all my negative judgements and thoughts because I didn't want to spread that kind of energy to other people which made me be fake positive all the time. That can be really fucking suffocating, guys. Those of you who know what I mean say I. 

Anyway, I want to find my color again. I think I’ve been shushing and shaming myself for so long, I don't even know who I am anymore. Hopefully writing like this helps. And apparently physically working out does as well. Let’s try to aim everyday, maybe a lazy day per week.

Side note-Kakaotalk keeps spamming me about the sakura flowers and how beautiful it is, suggesting me to go see it. Um, hello. Can you stop harassing me with these insensitive messages? Some people don’t have friends to go with. And it’s quarantine season? Are you dumb?

9. My looks. which goes under self care as well. I’m not gonna lie, I think I’m a fairly okay looking girl. I’m going to change my makeup style because after not putting on makeup for so long and looking back at my old photos, I’ve seen my bare face for so long, I grew fresh pair of eyes to see how I REALLY looked prior to this quarantine. And I finally got what people meant by “your makeup looks obnoxious.” Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE makeup. I’ve loved makeup ever since I was a sophomore in high school. I follow many of the beauty gurus (how they used to call it back in the days. I think people call them beauty influencers or makeup artists now) from youtube and Sephora was my second home. My broke ass owns like majority of the urban decay naked palettes in exchange for eating kimchi and eggs for weeks with my poor college student self in exchange. Poor college student with a BEAT makeup look though.

Anyway, the point I want to get across is that I respect and love ANY form of self expression. There is no such thing as too much or too less (is that even a word) makeup as long as YOU feel good in it. I personally did and I enjoyed my extra caked face. But not anymore. Maybe on some occasions, but I just don’t feel like that’s me anymore. So I need a new make up look, and I literally want new clothes. I hate my freaking outfits. Going to invest in some soon.

I can’t really think of anything else. I want to go in further with some of the topics I’ve tackled today but I think that’s enough journal writing for today. If I think of anything else, I can always update later. I just fucking pray I don't get hemorrhoids. I don’t have it now but I’m just so paranoid because I literally sit down 25/8 and apparently sitting for an extended period of time continuously can cause hemorrhoids. And for some reason I keep feeling like I’m going to get it soon. Like my butthole low-key feels a little weird at times. Hopefully I’m okay.

[fireflysummers]

Delta Rune: Addendum

People have asked me if my opinions have shifted at all in light of Toby Fox’s FAQ.

The answer is yes and no. 

Also, I’ve gotten a fair amount of...unasked for feedback on my other post, which was mostly just my own musings and opinion? So I might as well just kinda...address a bunch of things here, based on a couple observations over the last 48 hours.

What People Didn’t Like (And Why)

The Repetition of Plot Elements from Undertale in the Dark World

This one’s pretty common, and very justified given that, when the demo first launched, we had no idea that it was a demo. For all we knew, it was some kind of finished product. 

Although I didn’t want to believe that this is the case, it’s not uncommon for creators to accidentally fall into a sophomore slump of sorts, where under the pressure of measuring up to their freshman fame, they end up creating something dull and uninspired. 

Despite that, there wasn’t any level of self-awareness that indicated that the Dark World was supposed to be a cheaper version of Undertale. And then it ended by falling into the “it was just a dream” trope (not entirely, but close enough), which is one of my least favorite tropes, so I was just turned off altogether. 

The Battle System

I didn’t really enjoy the new combat system (that’s definitely a personal thing though...turn-based jrpg games have always been a struggle for me, and I straight up don’t have the time for the strategy that it often takes). That aside, Fox himself admits that the system is rough and really unbalanced.  

Also, I get the sense that he wants to bring home that theme of your choices mean nothing, but isn’t exactly sure how to do that yet, which explains a lot of the issues with ACTing in the demo.

Even after he gets it fixed up, I’m not sure I’m really going to enjoy the battle system, although I do commend him for his creativity and the attempt to integrate Undertale’s bullet hell into a turn-based game style.

Underdeveloped Characters

This one I can forgive almost entirely, by nature of it being a demo rather than a finished piece of work. I can relax my criticism of the Dark World NPCs as a result.

That said, I still failed to really feel anything other than aww...cute a couple of times (usually as Ralsei)

Oh, that and a shit ton of existential horror at Undyne and Alphys not knowing each other, the world being generally indifferent to whatever made Susie the way she is, and that everybody is turning a blind eye or actively punishing Asgore for some unknown crime. 

But I’ll talk about that a bit more in the next section.

The Vague Relation to Undertale and the Re-Use of Characters

Okay so like. I understand that Toby Fox insists that it’s Not Undertale.

Except that like.

I don’t buy that for a second.

Like, it’s Not Undertale only in the sense that it’s not related to the pacifist ending, but doesn’t disqualify it from being a follow-up to the genocide run (and therefore a direct sequel of sorts). 

That aside, if it truly was Not Undertale, then he wouldn’t have named it Delta Rune, brought Gaster into it, and drawn visual and flavor text metaphors to the original game. It’s related, it might be an AU, but that doesn’t make the OOC meanness of the familiar faces easy to swallow.

It could easily interpreted as “unsettling and OOC to show the player that their expectations will be subverted and that there is something Seriously Wrong with this world,” and a lot of people have interpreted it that way! I’m on the fence there myself, but you gotta understand that not everybody shares that interpretation.

For others, including myself to some extent, the message was: 

In the absence of dire circumstances, the characters that you were led to believe cared deeply about each other and you, are indifferent, apathetic, and  downright mean.

I mean, even if Kris on their own is a total dick? That doesn’t justify the way that the other characters treat each other. 

And that lack of warmth in the story was felt like a gut-punch to a small number of people.

On top of that, the weird twist ending didn’t do much to subvert that message. It gave no sense of whether or not the entire thing indicated a fundamentally sick world, or disprove that sense of they only cared about you and others out of a mutual need.

And if you can put yourself in that mindset, you can understand how that could be painful.

What People Didn’t Like About Me (And Others) Not Liking It

You’re Complaining Because it’s Not Undertale

No, I’m complaining because it’s Too Much Undertale. Because my personal prerogative is that Undertale is perfect the way it is and any additional content would only detract value from the original.

I was sincerely hoping for a totally new game, with maybe cameos or nods to Undertale, because I didn’t want to risk that horrible sequel syndrome. 

And while we, as fans, can opt to ignore horrible sequels (see: the entirety of the Harry Potter fandom), at the same time...sometimes you can’t unsee what you’ve seen. Sometimes sequels are enough to mar your affections and feelings for characters, especially because it comes from The Voice of God Dog.

You’re Can’t Complain that Things are OOC When It’s an AU!

-rubs forehead-

Look. I don’t know if you know this, but I adore AUs. Not every AU, of course, but I loved the concept and how the community came together to create some kind of semi-cohesive multiverse.

I mean, I literally drew over 100 different AUs:  SET 1 || SET 2 || SET 3 || SET 4 || SET 5 || SET 6 || SET 7 || SET 8 ||

But there’s a difference between fandom AUs and canon AUs--namely in that fandom AUs can be as out of character as they want, because it’s a fan creation.

There are multiple series that play with that multiverse theory as well, within their own canons, starting with the entire body of Osamu Tezuka, but also including the works of CLAMP (most notably XxxHolic and Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles), Adventure Time, the Final Fantasy series, and so on.

And the key to making an effective multiverse? The thing that makes it work? 

Keeping the characters in-character. There has to be that kind of consistency, otherwise it doesn’t function on a narrative level. You’re just reusing character designs and assigning new personalities, because you’re too lazy to design new characters.

Or worse, you’re baiting in previous players on a sense of nostalgia which is a trick I do not appreciate. 

You Shouldn’t Rely on Fictional Works to Aid Your Mental Health

Screw you. 

Everybody has Real Issues in their lives. Sometimes we need a hand from something or somebody else to keep moving.

Fine, But There’s No Reason To Be Publicly Upset by DR

It’s okay to dislike additional material, for whatever reason, so long as you’re not attacking others for liking it. It’s okay to be upset by something, even if it’s not rational, and you don’t need to force others to like what you like, nor should you feel guilty that somebody else doesn’t ‘get it.’ 

Will You Play Chapter 2?

I will purchase it to support Toby Fox on his endeavors. 

But you gotta understand, I straight up don’t play video games most of the time. Don’t have the time or the energy.

I only played Undertale after I’d had the whole thing spoiled to me, and knew it was worth the investment of my time. I should’ve waited on this one too, but I was too eager, and instead lost 4-5 hours of critical time for my graduate coursework (which definitely contributed to my annoyance).

TL;DR

You guys realize it’s okay for people to dislike deltarune? It’s okay for them to have been hurt by the characterization in deltarune? And people don’t have to write an essay in order to hold those opinions?

And that you don’t have to aggressively convert people to it like you’re some kind of church missionaries?

-sighs- At any rate, beginning to feel a bit more optimistic overall, and after that interview I can feel Toby Fox’s enthusiasm (he had something cool and he couldn’t wait to show it off!!), and I can get excited for him and others, even if as a whole the entire game experience fell flat.

Some day, I might even warm up to the game well enough to draw some stuff some time. I’ve got some fun ideas and theories, but still refuse to be hopeful that it’ll actually shape up. 

Because I am made of salt. 

[heliantyr]

ALRIGHT!

Time for questions! I’m going to put 1-9 here plain and simple, and then the rest will be under the break just so that you don’t have to scroll to oblivion if you don’t want to see this! Let’s go!

1: Name

     My name is Jude, or Coreta if you wanna use my pen name! A few of you might also know me as Virchude since that’s my main blog!

2: Age

    I won’t tell you plainly, but I am still in high school.

3: City that you live in

     I’m just gonna tell you which state! I live in the lower peninsula of Michigan!

4: What do most people not know about you?

     I’m almost certain that none of you know this, but I am the youngest of  my dad’s (kinda) six kids.

5:  What do most people know you for?

     If we’re talking just here, I hope to all get out it’s my headcanons, but in real life it’s the fact that I get offended rather easily...

6: Hobbies!

     I do a lot of pointless writing (meaning I never finish anything)... I also draw a lot of random junk, I rad a shit ton of fanfiction, I sing/write songs a lot... uuhh and do nothing.

7: What are your passions?

     I have a very large passion for helping those around me who have suffered like I have mentally and emotionally. I also really like debating (more like arguing) with people about politics!

8: When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?

     Just yesterday my mom, older sister, and I ended up accidentally sitting down in the living room and ranting about how shitty out lives are... so.......... yeah

9: have you collected anything? What is it?

     I have a small hat collection (that I hardly ever wear), and I’m beginning a plant collection! There is also a ever fluctuating collection of cups and bottles in my room T-T

10: List ten things off your bucket list (I may not remember half of these TvT)

*Take a trip back to Colorado with my friends

*Start a business

*Travel to at least 8 countries

*Go to Andorra

*Be known for some great feat

*Have one of my works (whether art or writing, etc) become famous or greatly known

*Meet one of my favorite actors/band members (doesn’t matter who)

*Learn to swim...............

*Make drastic strides towards saving the planet

*Meet more people from my dad’s side of the family

11: What was the last thing you learned?

     Seeing as I got out of world history an hour and a half ago, we learned about the Cold War and how the USSR fell apart because of silly putty

12: How many relationships have you been in?

     Counting the ones that didn’t mean shit, 4. Only counting the ones that actually meant something, 2.

13 + 14 I am not answering.

15: Favorite food

     Menudo. Fuckin love it

16: Favorite drink

     hm... either tea or ginger ale, but out of a shot glass TvT A TWO LETER OUT OF A SHOT GLASS

17: What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?

     I went to NYC over my birthday weekend this year with my school’s choir, and our tour leader on my bus got me a pastry in Little Italy! It meant so much because I didn’t even know her! 

18: Are you optimistic or pessimistic?

     I’m usually pessimistic unless my friends are also being pessimistic, cuz then I’m frigin sunshine and rainbows!

19: Do you sleep during class?

     Not very often, and only if what I’m doing isn’t actually important.

20: What is the most expensive thing you own?

     If not my actual bed, my laptop, which is $200.

21: What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?

     ..... I... Don’t know... uh I got a huge fukin thing of cocoa butter lotion at the dollar tree... and it’s kind of multi use?!?

22: How many time a day on average to you check your phone?

     .........don’t look at me like that.

23: Text or call?

     Text. I wanna call people, but what if they don’t pick up? Or it’s really awkward? or I can’t hear them? or vise versa? or-

24: Opinion on long distance?

     Sounds like torture. I honestly couldn’t do it.

25: What is your definition of success?

     Feeling satisfied or content with what you’ve done.

26: Favorite song?

     um. At the moment, Killer Queen by Queen.

27: Favorite artist?

     Music wise, Patrick Stump. Art wise, Van Gogh.

28: Celebrity crush/crushes?

     That’s a long list. But my main two recently have been Sebastian Stan and Tom Holland...

29: When was the last time you read for fun?

     Aside from fanfiction? Last Wednesday night I stayed up reading Shakespeare’s sonnets to myself...

30: Favorite flower?

     chrysanthemums!

31: What is the best gift you could receive right now?

     A confidence boost that lasted at least the rest of high school...

32: Any guilty pleasures?

     Day dreaming about random shit.... random weird shit about people I know...

33: What is one thing you’d like to change about yourself?

     Hm... I think I’d change my mental health. I just wanna be perfectly okay for once.

34: What do you search for in a friend?

     being able to understand me, relate to me, and be weird with me. Also mutual interests. And reasonable barriers.

35: How many times have I said “I love you” in the past month?

     You expect me you count???? A shit ton! Do you know how many times a day I have a family member leave the goddamn house????

36: Where dd you last go other than your room/home?

     School.

37: Why do good things happen to good people?

     Because that’s not how life works. Our society constantly has people suffering, no matter who they are or what they’ve done.

38: In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out, or being stabbed in the eye?

     Seeing as I’m just about used to the pain of being left out, I’d say being stabbed in the eye. I am such a wuss T-T

39: How many green shirts do you own?

     1. It’s a St. Patty’s day shirt.

40: Do you like anime?

     noooooooooooo.......... not at allllll.... TvT I’m tired!

41: What do you invest the most time in?

     Either videogames or fanfiction.

42: What is the name of the last book you read?

     The Hobbit (even though I haven’t finished yet)

43: What’s the difference between loving and liking someone?

     No clue... Still trying to figure that out.

44: Where are you most productive?

     My art classroom

45: List three things you enjoy doing with friends:

*Complaining about life

*being gay

*Pretend to kidnap one of them my dragging them around the floor during lunch

46: List three things you like to do alone:

*Listen to music

*Think

*Read

47: Do you think that world peace will ever exist?

     As long as there are living things on it? Never.

48: Do you have any allergies?

     Absolutely none! I knew this kid in the third grade who was allergic to nuts, milk, AND gluten!

49: When was the last time you cussed at someone?

     My friend and I got into an argument about who the best actors are during english....

50: What was the last promise you made?

     .......Is it bad that I don’t remember?

51: What was your last dream about?

     I had a hedgehog (which I really frikin want), and I was taking care of them, and hen this asshole in my grade was in my living room and I had to be nice to him.

52: If you won a trip to Hawaii and could take 5 people with you, who would they be? 

*My best friend Kiara

*My friend Raph

*My other friend Molly

*My other other friend Faith

*My dog

53: How many countries have you visited?

     1, if you count the fact that I live in one!

54: What is your favorite medium of art?

     Music. It moves me so easily.

55: When was the last time someone complimented you?

     My friend Laura jokingly complimented my hair during english (we were looking at old english compliments) and she winked at me TyT

56: If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?

     uh... hol up, wha? 

57: Do you consider yourself mature?

     At times, yes.

58: How many days in your life do you think you’ve wasted on tumblr?

     so frigin many, but there’s more to come!!!!

59: What is your favorite quote?

     “I was so good at sports when I was in high school, that I started a band.”

                                      -Patrick Stump

60:  If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?

*Be kind to all (see how that’s turned out???)

*Spend life learning. Try to find the lesson in your experiences.

*Mental growth is more important than anything

61: What is your greatest accomplishment?

     Being alive today.

62: Do you believe in the death penalty?

     No, not really.

63: What are your goals in life?

     To be a better person than my mother is, and to help others on a mental level.

64: What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?

     I honestly have no clue... maybe something weird?

65:  If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.

     I would have to go with.......... oo that’s hard................... the bnha universe      T-T I want powers!

66: What were you like in 2013? 

     I was an awkward, abusive, shitty little child.

67: Do you have a job?

     Nope! I’m planning on possibly finding a part-time one soon, though!

68: Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.

     His name was Parker, and he was a year older than me. He was my first friend other than my older sister, and I loved him so much. I don’t remember much, seeing as the last time I saw him I was five... It was early fall, just when the leaves start to fall. We had one of those trees in my front year that dropped the seed thingies that twirled around. Parker and I would always toss so many of those in the air until out hands got cold... I really miss him.

69: If you could change one thing in society, what would it be?

     I would get rid of corrupt governments and people in positions of power.

70: How many all-nighters have you pulled before?

     Never have I pulled one for school, but I find myself staying up til the crack of dawn the day before school starts, usually. Or on nights when I can’t but help contemplate everything to the point of not being able to sleep at all.

71: Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is it?

     Tumblr is one of my favorites, but Ao3 has my ass.

72: What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

     Nothing. I tend to be very hard to bribe. But if I reaaallly needed the money, I wouldn’t be able to kill someone, I’ll tell you that.

73: Does money equal happiness?

     It can for some people, but not for all.

74: How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?

     I don’t know, a few? I’m never truly happy until my thoughts leave me alone. 

75: How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?

     More than happy, I can tell you that.

76: What’s the funniest joke you have ever been told?

     My generation is going to save the planet.

77: When was the last time you looked at the news?

     We actually watched a news clip during history today!

78: If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?

     Stop being a dick!

79: What is your favorite animal?

     A hedgehog!! 

80: If you could earn a million dollars for pretending to be dead for three years, would you do it?

     NO! I have people who would miss my sorry ass, then murder me for coming back!

81: What is one thing everyone is bad at?

     Having a lot of friends. A lot of the time (in my personal experience), the more friends you have, the less time you can spend with them, and the less close you are, until eventually you can’t keep dividing your time!

82: What time do you normally sleep? How many hours do you usually get? 

     uuuhh... yes, and not enough!

83: Does age necessarily equal maturity?

     No, but that does not excuse digusting things like p*****ilia.

84: What is your favorite clothing store? 

     ....The Hot Topical.

85: In the winter- beanies or gloves?

     why not both?!?!?!?

86: Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?

     Wings. I can’t swim, and I panic underwater.

87: If you had the power to erase someone from the world so that nobody remembered them but you, would you do it?

     That depends, does it fuck up history? Cuz in that case, no!

88: What do you fear the most?

     Being abandoned by everyone.

89: How many digits of pi can you recite?

     3...

90: If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, what year would it be?

     2015, so I could leave a better version of my for my friends that I leave at the end of the year,

91: Describe yourself in one word.

     Invasive

92: Describe your last victory.

     I had a conversation with that asshole from my dream without arguing with him.

93: What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?

     SO! This one time towards the end of the school day in the seventh grade. This one kid (let’s call him V) was sitting next to his friend (C). I look over as I go to shoulder my bag, and V is running his hand down C’s thigh. V catches me looking, and goes “WHAT?! he did it first!” like that made it better! (and it kinda did because that’s still one of my best stories!)

94: What is something you will never forget?

     Something traumatic

95: Would you rather forget all of the past, or remember everything in vivid detail?

     Vivid detail. Then maybe I could win arguments with my sister!

96: Have you ever broken a bone before?

     yeah... I fractured the growth plate in my foot in the sixth grade... by walking.....

97: Is it harder love someone, or hate someone?

     love is so hard....

98: Coffee or tea?

I drink both, but tea ftw!

99: What are some little things you do that have changed your life in a positive way?

     I have become more friendly with my dog, and he actually likes me now!

100: How many hours do spend on tumblr a day?

     quite a fukin few....