#i still have one more pb update to do this month ;_;

[quartergremlin]

And here we are! previews for this month. As always, the comic is early access for two weeks and the illustration and tutorial are exclusive!

If you're interested in supporting me you can mosey om over -> here!

[2af-afterdark]

What in Hell is Bad?: June 3, 2024 update

Alright people! The game has updated and I have thoughts about everything they have done. Excuse me while I mindlessly ramble about them down below.

Customizable hotbar

Let's start with something I actually like* for the most part. The new customizable hotbar is really fun and allows players to decorate their homescreen the way they like. It's a nice touch. Not necessary, but enjoyable. My only caveat is that, once you switch icons, the basic icons aren't avaiable to switch back to. I don't know why they aren't an option yet, but I hope that will be fixed soon.

My other gripe is that Beelzebub is not included in the shop. His icons are avaible in the Nightmare Pass, which feels like a middle finger to his fans and f2p players since most of the icons are on the superior pass route (one is on the free route). I don't like that.

Pancake Shop Update

We got a warning some odd months back that this was coming, but... oh boy do I have mixed feelings on it. On one hand, I like the accessories that you can buy from the new pancake shop in addition to having some L character people may want. On the other hand... I miss the old items I could buy from the shop. I bought my 30 red keys everyday, which is why I have over 3,000 of them at the moment. It was also really easy to use the pancake shop to fulfill any mission that required me to purchase items from the shop because of how cheap they were.

And I am almost positive that's why they changed the shop. The rate at which one could get pancakes versus how they were used made them pretty easy to use in a way I'm sure PB saw as unbalanced but that I, as a player, personally saw as unstressful. Instead... we now have there new nightmare pancakes.

I do not like the sell rate for these. Converting duplicates into these new nightmare pancakes is a lot less lucrative. S-ranks cards seem to go for 6 nightmare pancake whereas anything A+ or lower is exchanged for coins and books instead (a resource I have personally never struggled for. I currently have 25,000,000 of each. I don't need more).

By the time I converted my old pancakes, I had 150 of these new bastards and that was enough to clean out the entire shop. I don't know what I'm supposed to keep doing with these now. I guess I can get more Story Clear Tickets and maybe and L card I want every now and again, but... Unless they restock, the new pancakes just aren't as good or lucrative for a player.

All these items could have been added to the old pancake shop and the prices jacked up if they really wanted people to burn their pancakes.

Main Story Clear Tickets

I like them. I know they have to be bought with pancakes or gems at the moment, but they solve an issues I've had for a while. I hate grinding for candies by replaying the same level over and over. I like have skip tickets for that. And I'm sure someone will point out that we can do the Dark Sanctuary battles for free, but... I would point out that some games require all fights to use tickets (like Nu:C). PB is actually rather generous to only require them on main story fights, of which the only unique resource is candies. Basically, you only need tickets to farm free candies. And if you don't have candies? The boss fights aren't actually very complicated (I literally don't interact with my phone during the fights at all). Plus, you get 10 free skips a day from the looks of it, so... the tickets are just extra.

I MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT A STORY SKIP TICKET WAS!

THEY LET YOU SKIP FIGHTS THAT YOU MAY BE HAVING TROUBLE WITH WHICH SOME PEOPLE WILL FIND VERY USEFUL INDEED. YOU CAN STILL SKIP THE BOSS BATTLES 10X TIMES THOUGH! STILL LIKE THESE, JUST MISUNDERSTOOD THEIR USE.

Nightmare Pass

Fuck you, PB! I say that as a whale who has almost every card in this fucking game (missing 4 total). I know they need to make money. I try to be sympathetic to a company's need to make an income to pay for everything, but this is fucking ridiculous. The Lucifer (Victory) Nightmare Pass just ended and the Niflheim event is currently running. You cannot drop Nightmare Pass (paid content) one after the other without draining your fanbase dry. You need to put some space between those events. Once every other month is the most often I would reccomnd running these Nightmare Passes and even that is excessive.

You especially cannot have multiple events running at once. It forces players to split their attention between the multiple battle types and missions that are currently running. It's so player unfriendly that I fucking scoff and the gall of it all. This is real fast way to anger your playerbase. Not all whales are limitless wallets. Everyone has their breaking point. For some, that's needing to drop a stupid amount of cash for a card, and the first time they don't whale because they haven't had the time to rebuild their funds between these exploitative practices? They'll realize they don't need to whale at all.

And, as I said earlier, some of the default decorations are locked behind this nightmare pass (the Beelzebub ones), so that is just.... just shitty of PB.

Unholy Board

What the fuck happened here and who thought it was a good idea? Somehow, the update made it so that missions will light up in the unholy board when they are not completed.

Notice how the orb is blue, but the mission clearly isn't finished? That's what I mean. It has made trying to figure out which missions I have or have not finished much harder. I used to just look at the grey bubbles, but now I have to check the colored ones too. It's so much worse that what they had.

Yes, missions that are ready to be claimed still sparkle, but it's hard to find the unfinished ones.

For reference, the green checks are completed, the red Xs are not. Trying to keep this straight is a nightmare, especially since I try to finish the entire unholy board and not just the main path.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh wow, Prequel AND Homestuck updated this week? What year is it?

Dehydrated, grieving, and coming off of a particularly nasty sugar high

Sugar high, huh? One of my little theories is that Jane has the lollipop Juju still. Is that a theory? Maybe it was confirmed at some point and is just a thing that happened? I dunno, man, this comic's so long.

JANE: Sigh. JANE: Jake, do you remember when I went to the moon?

Jane's been to like several moons at this point but wait is this in reference to the snapchat epilogues, where Jane was kidnapped by carapcians? Those are actually officially not canon and no longer available, which I supposed makes them appropriate to mention in a story about the nebulous nature of "canon" to stories. Or maybe she's talking about something else.

JAKE: Uuuuuuuuuuuuh. JANE: No? It was a huge deal. JAKE: Was this around the time all those carapacians took a big chunk out of it?

Oh my god, it is referencing the Snapchat epilogues. They ended in a cliffhanger and got deleted, but Jane got kidnapped by someone and sent to the moon, where she met Jack Noir (the one who became Beq Noir) and the Felt who were there for some reason and then the Snapchat comics abruptly stopped and were decanonized so it was never explained.

JANE: Just what did *you* do, besides whimper like a kicked dog, as they took our boy away!? JANE: "TAVVY!" JANE: You can fly, you idiot! JANE: You're such a harmless, dunderheaded fucking nonentity that those seditious connivers would have *let* you tail them! DIRK: (Ouch.) JANE: Everything he has, *I've* provided. JANE: Everything he is, *I've* nurtured! JAKE: (Criminy, bro, she has a death laser.) JAKE: (Like goldfinger.) JANE: Remember how I willed him out of my body, 3 months premature, because I was so excited to see him?

This is Homestuck, so the line about how Jane forced Tavvy to be born early is either a what the fuck random joke like the guy who confessed to Jade he microwaved a hamster, or crucial important foreshadowing that'll pay off in 600 pages. Quite possibly both.

JANE: Across all the iterations of yourself, do you think your children ever felt even a MODICUM of that? JANE: Jade? Terrifying, JANE: I hate even thinking about it. JANE: And I don't doubt for a second that there were more. JANE: How do you imagine they turned out?

Speaking of referencing Other Media, this is an unintentional reference to Grandpa Harley's secret kids from Hiveswap, in particular Joey, who seemed to really hate him and have good reason for doing so. Lot of Expanded Universe references suddenly. It might be that this particular writer has a thing for references, but it might also be setting something up. And earlier update also referenced Pesterquest.

Also, engaging with the text on a non-meta level, yeah, Jake English is top ten worst parents in Homestuck, though he's still beating Jane herself.

Messy Jerry Springer melodrama?! In Candy?! Unprecedented.

JAKE: Gamzee. JAKE: Via some vile cosmic caper or another it is *always* gamzee! JAKE: He found out! JAKE: Started rambling on and on about "how motherfuckin' malicious" it was to see "A dIfFeReNtLy AbLeD bRoThEr MiSsIn' OuT oN tHe NiRvAnA oF tHaT nUtTy MoThErFuCkIn' NeCtAr." DIRK: (Why are you doing the voice?) JAKE: "ThErE's WhOlEsOmE, hOlIsTiC hEaLiNg PrOpErTiEs AlL uP aNd StUfFeD iNtO tHe HaRmOnIoUs UnIoN oF pB aNd J." DIRK: (You don't need to do the voice.) JAKE: "WhAt EvEn Is ThIs SuLtRy BiTcH oF a LiFe WiThOuT a LiTtLe PeAnUt BuTtEr JeLlY tImE?" DIRK: (It'd be so sick if you stopped doing the voice.)

Homestuck characters impersonating each other is always a solid gag.

JAKE: After that, the insane clown started stowing peanuts around the mansion, tricking little tavvy into eating them! JAKE: Poor squirt was thrashing throat-first into anaphylactic shock bi-weekly. JAKE: I epipenned him so many times, i learned needlekind! JAKE: Worried myself as sick as our boy was, just wishing that nutty nightmare would nix. JAKE: Then, wham. JAKE: It did! JAKE: Thank god! JANE: I- JANE: I had no idea. JAKE: Of course you didnt! JAKE: You werent there! JAKE: You might have expelled him into existence with your easy-bake tuna canoe. JAKE: But i kept him alive!

I'm not sure if that's how peanut allergies work, but "easy-bake tuna canoe" sure is a line.

JANE: I didn't even fucking breast feed him! DIRK: (Which is fucking crazy, all things considered.) JANE: I don't... even know what his first word was. JAKE: It was "honk." JANE: Jesus Christ.

This is such a fucking weird family. Also, a very odd attempt at a Jane...redemption arc? I guess it's important to make her more than a Trump analogue, even if there's a worryingly high chance of that reference becoming relevant again soon.

JANE: The rest of you couldn't be trusted! JANE: None of you even bothered to graduate high school! JANE: While you were all being shut-ins, and self-destructing, and fucking... cavorting!!! I was making public appearances. JANE: Somebody had to represent us, so people wouldn't assume the worst! JANE: They waited 5000 years for us, and for what? To see there was no plan, no reason, that none of their gods were really on their side. JANE: I had to become an adult before ANY of you decided to catch up.

I feel like this motivation doesn't really explain the Troll racism. I was kind of hoping that Jane, like Rose, didn't think of Earth C as "real" and was basically just larping as a dictator in their little game, and that's why she helped raise Yiffy. It seems like we're going in the opposite direction? Jane wanted to live up to the status of a God? You can kind of tell this wasn't the original plan for her.

JANE: I even forgave you for Dirk. JAKE: Forgave me for... for being with him? JANE: What? JANE: No, I was always an ally first when it came to that. JANE: What's a... a dalliance between bros, really? DIRK: (Word.)

Everyone in this comic is some kind of lunatic.

JANE: Dirk just never *got* you. JANE: He thought he could figure you out, make all the right moves, and you'd be happy. JANE: But people have to want themselves to be happy. JANE: And the only thing you've ever consistently wanted was to be absolved. JANE: I understand that now. JAKE: ... And? JANE: And I accept you, Jake! JANE: That's why I have confidence our union will endure forever. JANE: You release me of all my doubts. And I can't be disappointed by you. JAKE: Huh...

Jane's....maybe not wrong in her reading of Jake, here. His whole shtick is wanting to be a cool action hero, or at least a respectable dude, and not being able to do so. But Jane's wrong that he can't disappoint her.

JAKE: Do you still need that water tested? JANE: Haha, no. JANE: I drank it all in my hysterics without even noticing. JAKE: And youre okay? JANE: Completely fine! It really was just... water.

This is pretty clearly Thematique™. None of the threats Jane is worried about are ultimately real.

JAKE: Her guard is down... DIRK: And you have a gun. JAKE: I have TWO guns.

I do love, though, that we immediately transition from Jane going "I will love and forgive Jake forever, for I have nothing to truly fear" directly into Jake going "I should shoot my wife".

DIRK: He's gone, dude.

Oh, this is a great reveal. Brain Ghost dirk lowers his glasses so we can see he has Jake-Green eyes, confirming to Jake (and the audience) that this Dirk is a figment of Jake's imagination, and not "connected" to Ultimate Dirk in any way. That's just such a cool way of conveying that information.

DIRK: It'd be the only reasonable excuse you'd have for nipping this uncomfortable epiphany in the bud so you could slink back to following orders from Dirk. JAKE: ... JAKE: Gods hooks, i backflipped right into my old ways! DIRK: Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a running theme with literally everybody we know. DIRK: You all get caught up in these feeling jams, hugging it out in self-realizational bliss. DIRK: Then, bam. DIRK: Premature ejaculation. DIRK: That passionate growth grind ends before it builds to anything actually satisfying.

And Brain Ghost Dirk telling Jake the real hard truth that he needs to stop listening to Dirk and looking for someone to tell him what to do.

DIRK: You're fully dressed Jake now. DIRK: Sitting on the sticky floor of a custodial closet, hidden away from anything certain and good in this world. DIRK: Alone. JAKE: This is scary! I dont like this. DIRK: Fuck yeah it is. This is sweaty, achey, burning transformation, brother. JAKE: I want to go back! I want to be the other guy again. DIRK: You can't be the other guy anymore, Jake. DIRK: We're sending him upstate to live on a beautiful farm, where they're gonna immediately drag him out back and put him out of his fucking misery. DIRK: Remember when you told Egbert you wanted someone to hold you accountable? JAKE: No. DIRK: Well. JAKE: Nooooooo. DIRK: "Here's Johnny!" JAKE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! JAKE: Oh...

This is very Disco Elysium

JAKE: Cripes, if there really is no magical component to all of this, JAKE: if youre really gone, JAKE: then i am simply a forty year old man... being led by the nose... by an imaginary friend. JAKE: That is not cute. DIRK: It's kind of cute. JAKE: No! JAKE: Its mental illness! DIRK: It can be both.

It's also Homestuck

JAKE: Everyone is waiting around for this better version of me to pop up, but thats never going to happen. JAKE: Because if it did, it wouldn't be me anymore. DIRK: So, are you trapped being Mr. Pissy Pantyloos Loser Man no matter what? JAKE: Sort of.

Jake is defined by being a loser. What happens if he grows? He becomes someone else, same as happens to us all when we change.

JAKE: I never really understood all that much of the "doomed timeline" hoopla you cerebral types tend to gab on about. JAKE: But... its nice to think that there might be countless janes somewhere out there who never stopped being happy. JAKE: Baking, getting up to all manner of lighthearted mischiefs... true blue all around. JAKE: When i think of her, thats whats real to me. JAKE: What she is now, what these rotten unenviable circumstances have made of her, its all just... DIRK: Happenstance. JAKE: Is that stupid? DIRK: Probably, but you're a god of Hope.

Aw, I like that take.

JAKE: If i can believe in those janes, JAKE: i think i can let this one go. DIRK: Extravagant hoops to stumble through just to keep believing, man. DIRK: It's sneaky. I like it.

Even if this is the most cynical take on a hope-based hero I've ever seen.

Oh hey, it's the kids! All together for the first time! I'm shocked this big meeting is happening silently like this while someone else conversation narrates over it.

Fun fact: At no point in the entirely of Homestuck do John, Jade, Rose, and Dave have a conversation with all four of them together.

I was wrong last time, this is the page leading into the promised big flash. There is no longer anything left in Meat or Candy do to but [S] Get to the Point.

[rosemxze]

about the 10/19 update:

reminder: criticism is okay but do not be hateful, or send PB or anyone hate.

so, apparently a lot of players are really mad right now. the CN players pointed out PB's lack of transparency in their emergency maintenance notice. they pointed out that they were reducing store benefits while increasing exchange prices. to some players, they feel like PB is turning WHB into a cash cow.

additionally, allegedly some people have lost money from the shop passes where if you had previously made a purchase, you would have to pay again since PB had made adjustments to the rewards 😭 also they've also hidden the old levelling reward in shop passes according to this tweet. overall, it's super confusing so i'll just leave this topic as it is.

honestly, i do understand that PB needs to earn money to pay their employees but i think the way they package their bundles and paid gems are terrible and just doesn't seem to be worth the money.

for their 113+7 gems pack i can't even afford 1 lesser key, whereas for around the same amount of money i can spend it on arknights's monthly card which gives 11 pulls or genshin's welkin pass which gives 16 pulls.

so i just come to the simple conclusion that i'm going to stay f2p. it's just not worth it if i can spend it on a different game and get more. it's not a big deal for me as long as banners eventually get rerun ahahah

some were also upset about no maintenance compensation which i think is fair because the maintenance would usually have some sort of compensation in exchange for their player base not being able to play/grind during that time period. i feel like PB could have gave guilty gems, lesser keys, or solomon's tears. or even gold/books or jelly or any of the upgrade materials that is difficult to farm for right now. or even pies which is even more difficult to collect than tears atm.

there should also be compensation for those who have lost their money through this update :')

there were also some criticism regarding how they "fixed" the store instead of the bugs. not only that but more bugs appeared such as some units are now unable to be deployed after the update or how the secret shop's vortex will appear every time you log in but the shop itself never appears.

the more common topic at hand is the solomon tears. some players have argued that this is what you're supposed to expect when you are an f2p player. however, i would like to also argue that it shouldn't take months to fully max a single character— which includes promotion, skills (2 for most, 3 for L-tiers) and unholy board (for L-tiers).

reminder that this game is eventually going to have 80 casts (or more if they add the angels and humans like obey me has done) in the future. that is a lot of characters and they will each have different copies and versions of each of them in the future too.

using arknights as an example, that game is farmable for f2p players like myself. i never spent money on arknights but i was able to upgrade multiple characters much faster which is good for tower defense games where you need to strategise with different characters. albeit WHB is easier in that aspect of strategy, it still doesn't change how it is definitely a little more challenging in WHB to build characters.

though, i can also go on the other side and argue that perhaps PB didn't mean for us to speedrun the content either.

i'm personally okay with grinding and being patient as long as the event stages are reasonable and can be cleared without very high difficulties.

also i'm also personally okay if their gacha banners have a reasonable pacing and pity system. since that is my personal main concern as a gacha addict :p

though, seeing all the others' feedbacks also kind of influenced me a bit and made me skeptical of PB. this single update kind of made me look at them in a different light and not the positive kind 😅

but!! they still have another update on 10/25 so i guess we'll just have to see how that one goes. maybe there will be improvements? who knows. i'm just praying for the better because i do enjoy this game so far and want it to do well in the future too 🙏

reminder: again, it's okay to criticise and give feedback but please do not be malicious and hateful 🙇‍♀️

[pawborough]

Hey everyone!

Thank you for the patience before this check in. There’s a lot of new and exciting things to share. First, a small announcement…

We’ve had some restructuring of our organization. Holly and Meteor, previous project owners, have taken an amicable leave from the project. I (Blue) have taken up the mantle of sole project owner and senior, and am working very closely with the rest of the team as its head. There is no bad blood! We concluded that this decision would best benefit the project going forward. All three of us are beyond excited for PB’s future and development! I vow to be a strong, central lead, and to help vitalize the vision of this project.

With that being said, the previous iterations of art, information, mechanics, and layouts shown here have functioned as proof of concepts, and it's our plan as the team to upgrade and improve upon things as we begin serious building. The last few months following the Kickstarter have been dedicated to extensive pre-production (so we don’t build something and then impulsively decide at the last minute that it doesn’t work, wasting precious time and resources.) I myself have also continued this conceptualizing with the team after being appointed head this month.

Simply: As lead, I will be making changes. In this update, I am presenting a few changes and potential iterations of the game’s UI and aesthetic. With a strong and centralized vision, it’s my hope to improve upon a lot of what was previously shown.

Gene Stylization

The previous color and gene system helped us conceptualize the process of mass coloring and designing a cat, but it left some to be desired. Patterns look very messy when slapped together with such stark borders, very few genes compliment one another with artistic synergy, and the potential for good looking cats could definitely be expanded upon. We’ve started experimenting with more complex looking patterns, and where those patterns fall, and it’s greatly benefitted!

These color experiments aren't final, and may be subject to palette changes. But they're a start with the new direction. 

All the colors will all be getting upgrades to accommodate this new style of rendering. And the genes, well, will be re-rendered following the direction seen here! My goal is to more realistically be able to represent what an average cat looks like—as this looks much closer to your average mackerel tabby—and to open the door for some real beautiful mythical renderings (starry pattern...?) I’d prefer if a randomly generated cat was, on average, something that’s nice to look at – so it’s my goal to try to push and guide the art and gene system in this direction!

I also want to establish more aesthetic synergy with the customization, giving users gene options to customize smaller aspects, such as the skin color or the ear fluff color, while not being overwhelming (or requiring too many color slots for breeding.) I want to design it so that you essentially can't get an "unusable" color combination. Not too little customization, and not too much as to be overwhelming, confusing, or difficult to breed with. 

Doing so will also open the door for potentially a larger color wheel, as our wheel still lacks. The original intention behind a smaller wheel was to allow for getting a "good" color combination easily, but I believe the solution to a problem like that is to retackle the different areas of customization. 

So, hold out for that!

It's also worth noting that our developers have figured out the "colored shading" problem, allowing for us to make the current plain black shading tinted based on the color it sits above. The next update to the generator should include this colored shading! More on the state of the generator available below... 

New UI/UX Direction Preview #1 - The Camp

Let’s face it, the old displays and mockups shared here may have been passable, but they were rudimentary and amateur. I did them on my own, but they were no way up to speed with the demands of web design. As intended, the development team has been expanded. I’ve been working with a seasoned UI/UX designer to develop and improve upon the mechanics we originally conceptualized, and to adapt my original design intentions.

Everything is subject to change as we move forward, and of course this is low fidelity (please excuse the work-in-progress nature!) But it gives a new concrete direction for where elements will be placed. Everything will also be formatted competently for mobile.

New UI/UX Direction Preview #2 - Cat Profile

Once again, low fidelity! There are still some aspects which need workshopping, such as the formatting for the text in the heritage and traits boxes, and we may experiment with the margins and spacing of each element, but the goal was to create a much cleaner web view, and we're getting there!

New UI/UX Direction Preview #3 - Cat Generator

This is the biggest change that I am workshopping right now. An experienced consultant on our team pointed out that dropdowns, while popular within our genre, are difficult for users on average. They’re outdated, and they’re harder for accessibility, intuitive design, and user flow. We have gotten user complaints and requests to help accommodate the dropdowns in the past, but why not make the whole process easier?

NOTE: The "review" tab will also be added to the mobile layout

The mobile version especially will have to be implemented and tested for design and usability. I'm still back and forth on moving the randomize and history buttons to the top in the web view, but for the mobile view it could not stay below due to being where a user's thumbs often sit, and potentially causing frustration while designing. I wanted to keep some consistency between the mobile and web layouts, and it does seem to mimic a sort of "back button" placement, but what do you as the community think?

As to when the cat generator will be updated: I’ve been wanting to do a big bang of an update with all the breeds that will be available at launch. With this overhaul, it will depend on the speed of artist production.

Other low fidelity mockups are currently being workshopped, including new user onboarding, breeding, and a potential “dashboard” feature for registered users which accommodates completed dailies, site news, and monitoring timers for functions like cooking!

Next, let’s take a look at some art the team has done this month!

Pixels

Icons

Illustrated by Hybridremmie on Instagram

Work in Progresses

Lastly, let’s look at some sketches this month!

Fauna concept: The Lupiné

Illustrated by fulemy on Instagram

Backdrops Experiments

Illustrated by Runeowl on Deviantart / snowfinchstudio on Instagram

Illustrated by skazinbud on Instagram

Illustrated by hybridremmie on Instagram

Woo, what a big drop! Things have started moving quite quickly, and I’m working day to night with my teammates to develop on schedule and deliver something amazing! So far, despite the setbacks, we are on track. I’ll come back with news on the building process next month.

AS A FINAL NOTE: With art production speeding up, we are working on backer companions/Fauna. This process consists of us emailing backers our concept sketches and waiting for input. Please watch your Kickstarter email if you have backed a design tier!

To Summarize: We shared the beginning of a new direction for genes, low fidelity UX/UI designs for the user’s Camp, the cat profile, and the cat generator. We shared pixel icons, a few rendered icons, and a collection of work in progress sketches!

What to expect next month: Further UI/UX previews, progress on build functionality, further asset renderings. 

[divinekangaroo]

While "patiently" waiting for fic updates :) , was wondering what other stories you're working/will be working on? Will you be writing still when you go back to work?

No pressure btw, this is me trying to manage my expectations XD

lol, yeah -> my 8 hours of blissful 'do nothing but write idly' day has dropped to about 2 hrs in the evening. the increasing arc of life resuming. The writing is still ok in these 2hr bursts but getting it to a readable standard is agony. The one benefit is that these 2 hours are probably going to be the same 2 hours I'll have once back at work.

My past fandom experience is that I usually mono-play in a fandom for around 5 years -- but I've never had kids+work+other family commitments when writing before.

I do hope I still have the drive to keep writing once am back at work. I can already feel that anxious itch of pressure, though, and my way of coping with pressure is to aggressively prune everything (friends, family, hobbies, chores, self) that causes the slightest bit of peripheral friction so I can concentrate on the thing that I can't prune (work, money, survival). BUT, this time, I go back to a new area-director role rather than my past project-director role, which should have less crazy deadline pressure/inconsistent hours than most construction work, so I'm just not sure what to expect. It'll be the first time in my life when I actually have a desk job with consistent hours.

Of my current Last Second Ending arc, I really want to finish the Holford fic, the Diana fic, and the Charlie fic (the 'Churchill' vehicle, although I'm so many chapters away from Churchill it's nuts!), which are all the live and incomplete multi-parters-- but as multiparts they are more challenging to do. I have several other ideas/snips scattered through the timeline, but they're fairly short as drabbles, flash-fic or circa 10k standalones, so they will be less heavy to complete and easier to do around work hours -- but they do tempt me now because they're more easy and fun to produce. This timeline's list of ideas has stayed stable for a couple of months now, so at least I know what 'finished' looks like for this arc, even if I don't quite get there.

I do have two firm AUs which itch at me wildly (timeline arcs again). I'm desperate to write the first piece of both as an anchor/test, but keep deferring because I know I'll have to sanity-check my motivation after finishing (or hitting a motivational brick wall with) Last Second Ending.

The 'easy' AU is the 1990s AU which is Tommy x Lizzie, set broadly post S3 and to the end of S4 as an AU S4. It's easy because there's only a few scenes in my head but they're all pretty heavy/hardcore and I can't find an 'in' for framing them yet.

But the second is that weird-arse Dragon Age II fusion AU which is less pairing focused and more family focused, albeit a great deal of pairings and sex within - but it could be a fascinating little monster of a thing, so I'm letting that simmer in back of mind until well after I get back to work to see if there's sufficient motivational drive. It's likely to become a 'what if the PB version of the Real World also had five millennia of Blights, mages, the Fade and Circles as part of Real World history/currency?' idea (alternatively: magic is real but it's pretty fucking ugly what humans do with it).

I also have about five loose BUF-Britain AU list of flashfic sketch ideas, which are generally 'things and scenes that might happen if Mosley was voted into power and took over england', which is primarily Tommy and Alfie.

And I have one solitary sort-of crackfic sort-of-not-crackfic -- S5 from the 'My Property' scene onwards but with the addition of a male chastity device -- which despite the crack premise will actually be really difficult to write compelllingly with the amount of scene checking and chronology I'd need, and accordingly is so low on the list I only think about it in idle moments to amuse myself.

There were a range of other ideas (like a 28 Days Later AU, or a Butcher x Baker AU, or why can I not have these endlessly magnificent threesomes I desperately want to read) but mostly they were isolated 'wouldn't that be cool' scenes without any sustained continuity or theme, so with time limits, they've sort of withered away.

[mrxadreamin]

GACHA MECHANICS: Nu:carnival vs What in "Hell" is Bad?(Part 2 Final, the Electric Bugaloo)

HELLO I have made a second part to this, so hold onto you tighty whities because it's about to get WILD.

NOTE:  Please keep in mind that these are my opinions and criticisms. DO NOT let my perspective sway your decision in anyway unless you need otherwise. Same as pt 1, some parts of this essay is just an overview of how the currencies/pulling/banners work so feel free to skim to the thesis of each paragraph. Thank you and please enjoy reading!

Sorcery Gem Reruns vs. Chance up banner

As perviously mentioned in my last post, majority of the rerun banners for Nucarnival requires sorcery gems and for most f2p it's expensive because even 50 gems is equivalent to $53.97 and some of the banners require 100 gems to hit pity.

In What in Hell is Bad, The Chancce Up banners are for early access, and like most gacha banners, any character that shows up in the Chance Up banner will be put into the standard pool. Users can pull from this banner using Solomon Seals which are similar to sorcery gems, but like sorcery gems, they can be quite expensive...

SO we all know the Chance Up banners have 500 seals = 10 pull, and 500 seals cost up to $17.62(1200 ecoins) + $1.82(120 ecoins) which is comes up to $19.44. Another thing, for the most players can get is up to 3,000 seals would cost 6,527 ecoins which rounds up to 2,400($35.25) + 3,675($53.94) = 6075 ecoins for $89.19, but that's not enough since we need 452 more ecoins, so users would have to buy 720 ecoins($10.64). As a result, $89.19 + $10.64 = $99.83 so we would have to pay almost $100 for 60 pulls and if the math is correct, 500 = 10 pulls, the pity is 220 pulls, so we would need 110,000 seals. In order to get 110,000 seals, we'd have to pay even more than $200 at best and I've heard players who spent even $300. Not to mention the seals shop does not open until there's a new Chance Up banner and we can usually get them via achievements and the Holy Portal, but even by playing the Holy Portal, they usually give about 6 seals at best.

The best thing that PB can do is allow the seals shop to be permanent, which allows players to buy seals and save them overtime. Nucarnival has done effective job making the sorcery gems pack permanent and allows for players to buy gems and also accumulate over time until they want pull from a specific rerun banner or even buy other stuff with said gems(ie. Eiden's outfits in one of their recent updates).

HOWEVER the Chance Up are for players who want to pull for a character sooner rather than wait for three months. So having to buy the seals isn't a must, but if players can an the character exclusively then pulling on the banner is the way to go.

The Pancake Problem

Around July 4th, PrettyBusy released an update where they removed the original pancake shop and replaced with it nightmare pancakes. What's the big deal though? WELL my friend, based on the MANY criticisms amongst the fandom and community itself, the new pancake no longer has the red keys like the previous pancake shop. The new pancake shop has cosmetics and other characters for exchange(which...still doesn't really help..) Not only that, but buy selling artifacts and tealeaves below S+ grade, players receive coins and books of Crawley. In the previous pancake shop, users are able to sell their lower grade artifacts and tealeaves for pancakes and exchange pancakes for red keys. However, due to the recent update, players can only get nightmare pancakes by selling S+ or L grade artifacts and tealeaves. Oh and by the way, the only way to pull for S+ and L grade items is by using lesser keys TO WHICH people have to save up in order to pull on the lesser key banner. Keep in mind, it's already hard enough to save up keys and then having to use them for nightmare pancakes to get more? Saving for gacha is supposed to be funny, albeit it's not a cake walk, but it's not supposed to push players to break the bank.

The Lesser Key Shop

Later on July 19th, PB has yet again released another update, but this time they added a Lesser Key Shop.

It seems that they did not remove it entirely and decided to keep it in it's own section. Although it's a start to improvement, it's a long way to go considering the amount of guilty gems that players would have to exchange. If anything, the previous cost for 30 lesser keys were 1,980 guilty gems, but they reduced it so 1,366. Even if the keys were discounted, it doesn't accomodate to players that are trying to save. On the hand, it's to help compensate for the developers end to try and get players to spend on the game. In of itself is understandable, but not the best– let alone wisest choice to gets players to spend.

I also did a poll on how players feel about the update(link here) and by the looks of it, there's a large percentage of people who like it and people who do not like it. OH and by large I mean by a whopping margin of 54.5%. The margin between "it could be better" and "I don't like it" is 18.5% while the other margin between "I like it" and "it could be better" is 36%. Now the voting ends quite soon, but just by the results already tells and everyone in the community that they don't agree with this and it needs to get better. YES it's a stepping stone to better the game, but by sending more feedback and emails, it pressures the developers to listen to users, only then would we see changes for the better.

Some solutions

By keeping in mind of the most recent update...

Either remove the nightmare passes or reduce the cost. Players who are f2p or just on a budget do not need to go out of their way to spend hundreds to buy a characters then they can just pull on standard banners or change the method entirely. Not to mention, we now have gotten word the the nightmare pass may be an early access, but that doesn't mean that players should have to buy the characters.

Change the challenges. What on EARTH is the point of completing trials if we're just going to get free rewards instead of the superior ones? Let me iterate, a gacha is meant to be fun and yes requires effort, but what happens if that effort goes for nothing? It loses the players interest and defeats the purpose of having trials and completing them without being rewarded.

To refer to the first solution, maybe try a different method, like doing event trials to get the character that players want. Seeing how WHB has character events, it's only fair that players can earn characters through achievements. By doing so pushes users to login and play more. I would like to add this post because they provided a great, fair solution as well!

Reduce the cost of Solomon Seals and guilty gems. We do not need to remove it entirely, but micro-transactions are important. If PB wants players to pay, they need to consider who is their demographic and what kind of budget they would have.

Have different event banners using lesser keys. In many gacha games like Genshin Impact and Twisted Wonderland(yeah I'm going there–) use their standard currencies for banner reruns. OF COURSE taking into consideration of how players need to save lesser keys and how they are able to.

Either bring back the original pancake shop or remove the nightmare pancake shop. It's great that the new pancake shop has cosmetics, but players can buy that through another section instead of having to use pancakes. I also say this because players have to buy other material using nightmare pancakes and the cosmetics, although a bonus, doesn't quite help a lot and doesn't change course of the game and it's mechanics.

In Brief...

Prettybusy has a lot of work to do if they want their consumers to continue playing the game, they should consider the mechanics used in Nu:carnival because of how accommodating they are towards their players. Even if it's not Nu:carnival, they should consider other gacha games as well such as: Twisted Wonderland, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Wuthering Waves, etc. They should think about lowering the costs of nightmare passes, or removing it entirely or even reducing the costs of solomon seals and guilty games. By adding new banners or trial events to gain characters and have more people play the game. Overall, having new perspectives, new insights, and new feedback will allow for WHB to get better and to push the devs to do better.

On that note, keep sending emails, and feedback to the devs because it pressures them and based on the recent update, there's a new silver lining that will part the clouds. Keep pushing and keep fighting–POLITELY please...

[moronic-validity]

The Phone

Part idfk of the DWU (told you guys it wasn't done)

Listen, this one isn't 18+, but the series as a whole is. Not sure if there are any TWs.

Small note: There has been no editing. We're raw dogging this chapter. It's a shorty with some quality issues, but I'm trying to get back to it. I can't promise regular updates between work/school/life in general, but I'm going to do my best. Welcome back to the DWU fuckers <3

It was hard for Simon to focus, and who could blame him.

Of the twenty some odd requests for aid he sent, all but one had come back with a reply akin to thoughts and prayers. He was still waiting for the final response. 

Deep down, he knew it would be more of the same; he knew that all the kingdoms functioned within a balance and if even one was weakened, they all would be. Even knowing this, he wanted retribution. He wanted the Flame Princess to feel the pain and fear and sorrow that he had been faced with. He knew, deep down, he wanted to kill her.

He didn’t care what the consequences would or could be, he wanted her extinguished. 

Winter hated seeing his better half like this, glued to his desk, unwilling to sleep or eat, dark circles deep on his thinning face. He knew why, of course, but that didn’t make it any better. He had considered reprimanding his advisor when he found out about the letters sent. He was the acting ruler, it should have been his decision, not Simon’s, but that didn’t matter anymore, not at this point.

It had taken a shocking level of effort to locate Simon’s phone, buried in a small box of photos and mementos of his old life. Like its owner, it was a relic of a time long forgotten, but it was still functional and that was the only thing that mattered. He wasn’t sure who would pick up the phone as he dialed the number, but he had seen Simon chattering on it before. 

She picked up on the first ring.

“Hey Si, what’s going on? You haven’t called in like…months! Too busy with your new boyfriend?” The jovial tone of voice gave Winter all the confirmation he needed that the right person had picked up the phone.

“Um…Hi Marceline,” Winter started, unsure of how much Simon had told her, and even more unsure of how to talk to this version of her, “It’s Winter…” He trailed off again.

She went quiet for a moment, suddenly regretting putting the phone on speaker so that PB and Finn could talk to their friend too. 

“Is Simon okay?” 

“I’m not sure if I would say okay, but he is alive,” Winter confirmed, much to the relief of the girl on the other side of the line. “But, well, a lot has happened and most of it hasn’t been good, and he isn’t handling it well.” He trailed off for a moment, not sure how to explain a kidnapping, attempted murder, the beginnings of a war, and the sheer level of chaos to someone who wasn’t there.

“Okay WK, I’m gonna need more details than a lot has happened because he’s had a lot happen before and last time, it didn’t end great.” 

Winter pinched the bridge of his nose, before explaining the entire situation with Flame Princess and the last few months. 

Finn, PB, and Marceline stared at each other with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. Each unsure of how to respond to finding out the level-headed monarch was an evil bitch in the world Simon had willingly asked to be transported back to. 

“And now he’s not eating or sleeping, he won’t leave his desk, and I don’t know how to help him because every time he looks at me, it feels like he’s just being reminded of why he needs to do this; even though I keep telling him he doesn’t need to do this, that we can just fortify our own defenses.” He finally stopped to take a breath.

“Question, had your version of me written back yet?” Bonnibel asked. 

Winter blanked as her voice came across the phone. 

“Um, well, that’s the letter he’s waiting on. I just doubt it will be what he wants to hear.”

“Why? Am I irrational or evil in your world?” 

“Not anymore, she just…really doesn’t like me.” 

Bonnibel opened her mouth to ask why, before stopping herself, deciding that there are some things she would rather not know.

“Have you tried asking for my help?” Finn offered, trying to be helpful.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t recognize your voice… who are you?”

“Finn the human, we probably fought a little before you became cool,” Finn offered, hoping that maybe this version of his friend just hadn’t spoken to him in years.

“I’m afraid we’ve never met…”

Finn backed away from the phone, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Marcy shook her head and sighed.

“Hey Winter, can you do me a favor and give the phone to Simon?”

She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, trying to mentally prepare herself to talk to her oldest friend about everything that had happened to him, without letting her own worry guide the conversation. 

Winter held the phone to his chest as he walked back to the throne room, knowing he would find Simon still at his desk, anxiously fiddling with his pen. 

“Hey Si, there are some people who would like to talk to you,” he gently placed the phone on his advisor’s desk, his voice soft. 

Simon looked at the phone, then up at his other half, then back to the phone. He wanted to argue, but instead, he picked up the phone and held it to his ear. 

“Hello?” His voice was hoarse and tired, the result of refusing almost every glass of water and only sleeping when exhaustion forced him to. 

“You sound like shit Simon.” Marceline greeted, shocked with how bad he actually sounded. Finn and Bonnie looked at her horrified, but she couldn’t stop herself. 

“Thanks for that Marcy,” Simon laughed, knowing she was right, but still shocked at how blunt she was, “It’s been a rough couple of months.”

“So I’ve heard…Do you need to talk about it?” 

“I really don’t… but can I ask you for a bit of perspective?” He sighed. He didn’t want to trouble her with all of his problems, he was the adult and these were for him to handle. 

“Always.”

“Marcy, what would you do if someone tried to kill Bonnie?”

Marceline turned to face her girlfriend with a look of slight distress. Simon didn’t need to hear that she would tear them limb from limb. He didn’t need to hear that she would willingly go into battle just to save the love of her life. Bonnibel looked back at her, equally distressed because they both knew the answer and they both knew it wouldn’t be helpful. 

“Your silence speaks for you…” he trailed off, getting ready to hang up the phone.

“Have you tried actually talking to Winter about…any of this?” Finn chewed the inside of his cheek. 

“Finn? I didn’t know you were on the call too,” Simon greeted, before answering, “We’ve spoken about it.”

“Does he want you to get yourself killed over all of this?” Finn said plainly, despite the horrified look from Marceline.

Simon looked up from his desk to the man standing in front of him.

“I can’t keep him safe if I don’t do this.” His voice was more strained now, unable to cry due to his dehydration.

“You can’t keep him safe if you’re in the dead worlds.” 

“You’ve given me a lot to think about, thank you Finn…” Simon trailed off, “I’ll call you all when I have a moment…” Exhaustion was dragging him down again.

“We love you Simon,” Marcy spoke up, “I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

Simon was slumped back in his chair, having fallen asleep before fully exchanging good-byes with his friends, leaving the phone to clatter onto the desk.

Winter picked up the phone and held it to his ear.

“Thank you for talking some sense into him,” He said to the three, unsure which, if any, of them had managed to.

“Please make sure he picks up when I call tomorrow,” Marcy sighed, “He’s stubborn and self-destructive, especially if he thinks it’ll help the people he cares about.”

Winter nodded to himself, knowing the behavior all too well.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Day 4- New PBs

This poll is for which fic you want to see updated on July 16th as part of my 7 day birthday gifts to the fans! If you are unfamiliar with my works or need a reminder, check out the links and summaries below the "read more" before you vote. Other poll information for this week can be found here.

And any fics that don't win but still collect a substantial amount of votes are eligible for a Redemption Vote on June 24th! Otherwise, thank you for your participation! 😍😁

Missed out on a chance to vote in a previous poll? Shoot me an ask or comment on the poll and I'll factor your vote in! Voting officially ends for all polls on June 26th.

Just Out of Reach- Ladyhawk AU; Bilbo and Thorin were getting married in Laketown in secret when a curse was placed upon them. Now Thorin becomes a raven by day and Bilbo a raccoon by night so that they can never be together as hobbit and dwarf again unless they fulfill the catastrophic wishes of the curse bearer, whoever he may be...

Oakenshield: Prince or Thief?- Robin Hood AU; Everyone knows the story: After King Thrain took his best warriors, including Crown Prince Thorin, only to be slain by the orc forces in Khazad-dum, his advisor, Lord Smaug, was placed in charge and all the lands of Erebor suffered. Fortunately, rising past the oppressive tyranny was the one and only Oakenshield, to rob from the rich and give to the poor. In reality though...that's not quite accurate. For one thing, there are actually two beings claiming to be 'Oakenshield' with vastly different objectives, and then there's the small problem of them not being aware of the other until Bilbo comes across a rather interesting Company of dwarves in Mirkwood.

The Raven Prince- Swan Princess AU; Thorin never gave much thought to his fiancé past how much he didn't want to have a fiancé, especially not this hobbit. However, after the mysterious death of the Shire Kingdom's monarchs and Bilbo's disappearance, Erebor is approached by a sorcerer who flexes his power and influence on Thorin. Now he's a raven and he must somehow save Bilbo, save his kingdom, and get his father's blessing before it's too late.

To Spoon Feed You Comfort- Accidental Marriage AU; Marriage in the Shire is a relatively easy process. All you have to do is get your intended to eat from your hand crafted Love Spoon, and return the gesture. Bilbo was already displeased by his unexpected house guests but when the newest arrival used his Love Spoon to eat from...well none could blame the hobbit for fainting if they knew the circumstances.

An Unexpected Gift on a Journey to You- Dwobbit Frodo; Bilbo went back to the Shire, and Thorin couldn't necessarily blame him. However, eight years later, he starts to miss what once was and what could be and decides to journey to the Shire to plead forgiveness. Only problem, Bilbo supposedly had left for Erebor months before. Why had he not made it? Where was their former burglar? And what was with this little hobbit child who supposedly had been living with Bilbo?

[paperboy-pb]

🌈 Pride Ramblings!

Hey, I just realized that I haven't wished the PB Nation a happy pride yet! And that is a CRIME on my end-- there's so many amazing queer disabled people out there! And we deserve to not only be celebrated, but to celebrate together. So... hey, happy pride!

I'm very proud of us all, and how much progress we've made. But I also know that this is only the beginning of a grueling uphill climb; many people are too ableist to see that we, the disabled, can be queer as well. A lot of pride events & other queer spaces need to work on their accessibility. And even for the abled, they don't have it easy, either-- they're still fighting against homophobia & transphobia every single day.

We are a beautiful community who has the right to be visible. We have a right to take up space, and love who we love, and to be who we are. And we SHOULD have rights far beyond that under our belts, too! We should be seen. We should be heard. It's halfway through 2023 though, and a lot of shitheads still insist on standing in our way.

So hey, take this month as an opportunity to rise up somehow. Support queer creators, and queer small businesses. Push back against all the God-forsaken laws DeSantis & the other U.S. clowns are trying to lay down to erase us. If it's safe & possible for you, maybe attend some local pride events-- I definitely plan to later this month ;)

Whatever you can. Oh, and of course, it's okay for some of you to lay low, too. Not everyone is out, or in a safe enough situation. Remember-- taking care of yourself or just... making sure that you are safe & comfortable as an LGBTQ+ person is absolutely an act of pride, too! ☆

Personally, I've spent most of this month binging some of my favorite LGBTQ+ series' (One Day At A Time, Heartstopper, MacDoesIt's reaction videos, etc.) and making pride playlists. Oh, and working on projects that make me happy, one of which is VERY queer. You'll hear more about that in the fall.

Honestly, I think my #1 or #2 regret in terms of PB's story is not making queerness a more... prominent theme?

PB does have queer characters (I imagine Matthew to be SOMEWHERE on the ace spectrum; there is a very important enby character who has a crush on another character, and the two later end up in a little relationship; some of the kids come from queer families; etc.) but it's way more about friendships, and the dynamic between kids and authority figures, and just... how you view yourself.

But to be honest, out of my stories, it's probably the series that centers that kind of thing the LEAST. And I have it that way for a reason; PB is a very... specific story, I guess? But I don't know, if I could go back in time and make BIG changes before it was too late (aka now,) I think I definitely would've made queerness a little more prominent. 😭

Maybe I'll find a way to do it as we go?

Anyways, I'm rambling now. Wishing you all a very happy & inclusive Pride Month. Keep your eyes peeled for more PB-- comic updates AND otherwise!

...Oh. And don't forget my pride playlist!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ZIg3CCbSvoELxZNdVyMaT?si=22B3a_psSYaDi5ZuDa3svw

[ufuckingpastry]

I've been feeling in a rough patch lately and most of it's manifested in insecurities and a general lack of motivation to work on any writing projects. I haven't touched PB since I put it on hiatus. I came up with a really fun writing series that just petered off into nothing. I've barely progressed and done anything, even though I'm having all these cool story ideas!

If you've been here for a while, you might've noticed that I stopped writing a couple years back, right around when Homestuck ended. Homestuck was the first major fandom I was in and the first one I posted fanfic for. My AO3 has 50 works just for Homestuck. And, when it ended, it felt like so did my desire to create.

Of course, this was right around my last year of college and ohhhhh fuck that was stressful. Plus I got really into WoW too. I didn’t really have much time to write in general.

I struggled for 3 years feeling like I could barely write anything at all. I was in such a depressive funk at the time, and the feeling like I couldn't create only worsened it. It took me 3 months to write 1000 words.

And then, one day, something amazing happened. I got into dsmp, I got into these characters, and on a whim, I sat down and wrote my first fic for it. In the span of 3 days, I wrote 3000 words! And I was happy! And I posted it and people seemed to love it!

My AO3 now has at least 30 fics just for dsmp, and I've got folders upon folders of other projects and ideas springing up every day for new fics for other smp series!

And yet, I'm starting to see myself falter. With the dsmp ending, and especially ending like it did, it reminds me so much of Homestuck. And I see myself doing the same things and behaving the same way I did 6 years ago. Struggling to write. A lack of focus and motivation to work on any of my projects. An external source of immense stress that makes me feel like I don’t have much time to write anymore.

And it's frustrating on a personal level to see that. Therapy opened my eyes to recognizing my patterns of behavior. I can prevent myself from spiraling. I can recognize when I need a break and I can take that break and barely feel guilty for it. And yet, here I am again. Will it soon take me a month to write 1000 words?

Have I even written 1000 words this very month?

... so I've written 5000.

In 2022, I decided that I wanted to track my yearly word count. I wrote so MUCH in 2021 that I broke 100k words posted on AO3 for that year. But that was just finished works! None of my wips, which I knew I had a lot more of! So I tracked my word count in 2022 and I think I hit around 150k? And that's impressive! That's cool!

So I did it again for 2023. But it's been harder to keep up with that over the last few months. I've been in a limbo of not knowing how many words I've written. Based on the fact that I haven't made any progress on my fics, that number must be very low, I thought.

And then I updated my word count yesterday. And I realized something:

I've written over 5000 words this month. Which isn't a lot, sure, but it's a lot for me. And, you know what? That's on track for January and February. March was fucking wild cuz I broke 14k words in March. And I know from tracking it last year, whenever I get a huge spike of words in one month, it takes maybe another month to recover. So my next month won't be as big or grand, but that's okay.

And that made me sit back and really look at what that means. I've been rping a lot, which is where the majority of those words come from. I wrote 1.5k words in a single DAY and I'm over here wondering why I don't have any words left in me! When I was in my last writing slump, I was still rping. All I did was rp.

I'm still writing, even when I don't think I am. I'm still expressing myself in these creative outlets even when I don't think it's "real writing". And why does it matter what's real writing anyways? Isn't it enough that I'm still doing it?

It is. It is enough. Therapy helped me recognize my patterns of behavior, and sometimes the answer really is to just. Take a break.

It'll still be here when you get back.

[jodilin65]

Just got done at the lab and now I’m waiting in the car while Tom gets us stuff from Burger King. I told him to just get me fries and a shake since I make burgers better than they do.

Interesting that someone wants to message me on Pinterest who seems to be quite obsessed with Harry Potter, and that I'm also being suggested fan pages on Facebook. I thought Facebook didn't recommend those who might look in on us. Anyway, if it's who I think it is, and it sure seems to be, I replied on Pinterest addressing her by her name.

OK, now I'm a little more sure it was who I thought it was because their account is now gone. Did they mean to connect with me anonymously? From now on, if I see any accounts that I think are them, I won't say anything. I promise!

Are that many doctors that stupid, or are there just that many high on denying things to their patients? Pretty sure I figured out exactly what’s causing my cramps where my gallbladder used to be. It’s tied into what messed with thyroid absorption last summer and what I think is messing with it right now. I did more research on it and it clearly says that it can block the absorption of vitamin D along with a few other vitamins, and we know vitamin D affects the thyroid. This is just one of the post-cholecystectomy problems you can have. Yet the G.I. doc and other docs said they never heard of such a thing. I knew my rising TSH last year was connected to the cholecystectomy. I've had cramps, gas, and mild nausea.

It’s like I get punished for everything I have done to me. My TMJ was the result of ear surgery, then I had dental issues after having braces, and now this is the price I’m paying for the cholecystectomy. I swear I’m going to have more problems without the gallbladder than with it! It was either this, though, or eventually get stones and infections and have to have major surgery.

Anyway, they pulled three vials of blood and now I just wait and hope for the best. The scale is still down, but I feel cold at times, so I don’t know what to think. Either way, I’m not playing the dose-tweaking game again. I swear it's like something wants to keep the TSH games going, though, like I was never meant to be consistently under 10 let alone normal. Now that I'm not having anxiety issues to cause me to skip doses and mess with my TSH, I have this shit doing it for me instead.

PB is really frustrating the shit out of me lately. It seems I'm triggering the spam filter no matter what I do, even in private books. I'm contemplating updating there by the month in one big huge entry instead of daily or every few days.

I dreamed we moved someplace and I didn't want to leave it because they had the best weather and food, but I feared we would have to because it was expensive.

Then I lived in a small privately owned hotel that I also worked in. I knew Tom in the dream, but he was off working somewhere. The hotel was owned by a super-rich couple. They were so rich that at the end of their shift, I would watch them mount these horses sitting outside along with a woman dressed very professionally in some kind of pilot outfit. She wore a white blouse and a dark navy skirt. I knew they were taking the horses to their privately owned plane and that the professionally dressed woman was going to fly them to their home. This was their normal way to and from work. How the woman mounted the horse dressed as she was, I don't know.

[sioneus]

Twitter Memoir - 2022

As the year began, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to run. All I knew was that I wanted to finally get my driver's license and to submit, and hopefully get into, an on-site marathon, many of which were finally returning with the waning of covid surges. The rest I'd discover as the year went by. So I did.

After the Last Bible III run, the end stretch of my degree was getting closer so I took a quite long break from streaming and speedrunning. I decided to submit SMTV Safety Any% to ESA Summer 2022 but didn't consider it to be a strong submission at all so I didn't think too much of it.

When later I found out some friends from the Megaten speedrunning community were going to the event, who I decided to go with, I regretted not putting more effort into submissions. But sometimes things are just meant to be the way they are. The timing was simply right for this submission, it seemed.

In one of the most unexpected turns of the year, the organizares of the SNES Super Stars Marathon reached out to us in the Megaten Speedrunning discord and asked if anyone was up for doing a run of SMT I. I really was not up for it as I was buried in schoolwork but nobody else came forward. So.

This was perhaps one of the best showcases I've ever put forward. Gameplay and commentary wise it was great, in my opinion. The necessary intermession to then completely focus on school.

And oh so quickly, the summer began. And with it, came the on-site marathon I had tickets to go to.

I was invited to fill up an empty slot as a back-up run two weeks before the actual event. I was still taking exams to finish up my degree so I went to the event with barely any practice. Thankfully everything went perfectly and I had a great time.

ESA was everything I'd hoped for in an on-site marathon and more. All thanks no-less to the people I was with. Our group, though small, felt like home and I had the greatest time during those 10 days. I'm more than excited to come back and experience more that we couldn't do this year.

So I returned from Sweden more excited about speedrunning than I'd been since 2019. Many new runs ensued.

I did not, in fact, keep running it for a while. I, instead, got drawn back into a familiar addiction. A game I had been telling myself to return to all year. An annoying loose end. SMTV Normal Any%.

There were many reasons for my wanting to come back. First, the route was a Magic MC route which we suspected was not optimal. Second, the actual fusion and "dungeon" route which was unoptimized and took too many detours. I'd been meaning to learn the updated, WR route and get a better time - one that wasn't an honestly embarassing 9 hour time.

So, beginning of September, I decided to sit down and finally begin learning.

A very big PB followed two weeks later. I finally had the WR back and a better PB. But...

I still wasn't happy. That WR had a nasty death at the end that cost me nearly 10 minutes and I felt like it could be better. This route was still a Magic MC build too.

So I decided to put in the work and re-route the whole thing.

One, if not the, personal best I'm most satisfied with. The route is good, the run was good.

Which brings us to right now. We're still nearly 2 months from the end of the year but I haven't done much more speedrunning due to having to focus on real-life for a while. With the imminent twitter-pocalypse, as it's being referred to, I decided to transfer what were the highlights of my basically diary from the last 2 years.

What will come forward, I am not sure. But I hope to keep doing things I look back on fondly for as long as I can.

[choicesenthusiast]

Representation at Pixelberry: The Follow-Up

One year ago, on June 15, 2020, Pixelberry released a statement regarding representation at the company. Here is the LINK to the original blog post, and here was MY RESPONSE. Oh, how naïve and optimistic I was. It contained a list of goals and promises they hoped to accomplish within a year. Well, a year has passed, and here is my attempt to hold PB accountable. I'll be going over the five main points of their representation plan and if they achieved what they promised. All criticisms are about content released after June 15th. Long post beware, but I'm not putting it under a read more because I feel like it's important for all to see.

1. Commitment to diversity of Love Interests - FAIL

We’ve already been moving towards having Love Interests have customizable skin tones. We will continue to do this with some stories, while also having some characters with clear ethnic identities. At the same time when we have multiple love interests of different ethnicities, we are aiming for those Love Interests to have equal game time.

"LIs with customizable skin tones" mean they come in three flavours: white, black, and ambiguously Asian/Latinx interchangeably. So far I have rarely seen an LI as connected to their culture/ethnicity as Rafael Aveiro, and he just talked about his Vovo's food if he ever were on screen. They had many chances with the other OH LIs as well. Even Ayna Seth and Tatum Mendoza were confirmed to be Indian and Filipino, respectively, though FA gets a little leeway, as it was set in a fictional west-European continent.

As for equal game time? I'm sure the biggest example we can all think of was the mess that was Open Heart 3, which was written during the hiatus (which only existed because they were going to straight up kill Rafael in Book 2). Game time was not equal among LIs, and the white male LI was heavily favoured. PB also continues to pay female LIs dirt by giving them no screen time. In addition to that, LGBT+ players, who are consistently underrepresented, receive one (1) unprepared pride month survey, prpbably only because someone asked them about it on Twitter.

This is the meat and potatoes of everything because it's what they're outputting to their audience. It's what the people see. Given that things haven't been going so well lately in this department, consider this promise a big fat fail.

2. More authentic and diverse hairstyles for people of color - QUESTIONABLE

Our team will focus on providing more authentic and representative hairstyles. We are prioritizing these hairstyles outside of our normal book processes and will introduce them in new books as they are ready.

While, yes, they have added two new hairstyles in WEH, they also just took Jade Bonet's hair and recycled it for LoA F!MC. PB recycles all their hair more often than not.

3. More diverse book covers - QUESTIONABLE

This is an initiative we started in January of this year. As a result the number of Black, Latinx, Asian, Native American, Pacific Islander, mixed, and other characters on new book covers increased from 35% of characters in 2019 to 60% characters in the first half of 2020. However, the number of black characters is still not high enough this year. More are already scheduled for books later this year. We will make sure that Black characters are well represented on our covers in the future.

"Diverse" does not just mean by race, but also gender, sexual orientation, etc. FA has the only recent MLM cover. And don't tell me that the FA and LoA covers are any different from each other. The only black characters on covers are Zoey Wade (QB), and Black!Gabe Ricci (LoA) and Bastien (WB), which aren't even their canon races unless you choose them to be. This is the case for many single-LI books, such as Cassian Keane (W:ABR, which technically premiered on Mar. 16, but the sentiment is the same), Sam Dalton (TNA), and Dakota Winchester (WEH). Not to mention the customizable/multi LI books like DS, RT, BaBu2, MTFL, etc. Majority of these covers are just cishet couples delicately cradling each other's bodies or whatever. And we're not even gonna get into how PB literally put the Open Heart LIs in order of their favouritism on Book 3's cover.

4. Writers/Staff - QUESTIONABLE

We will be engaging in professional training on historical and current racism for our writers to ensure more of them have a better understanding and more context for views of diverse characters in Choices. We will also create a program that gives more authority to people of color in the studio to advise writers and artists on more authentic portrayals in both writing and art of black, brown, and minority characters.

A story with a Black-led cast is something I have asked for in the past, but failed to follow-up on. We will very likely start this with a Black-led cast story led by Chelsa, one of Pixelberry's Black writers.

We will increase the number of diverse writers we source for new stories, starting with hiring more Black and Latinx writers to lead the charge.

For all teams at Pixelberry we will actively work to bring in more Black and Latinx candidates with the goal to increase the number of Black and Latinx employees at Pixelberry. Although Pixelberry is over 50% female, on teams where females are not at 50% we will actively work to source more female candidates.

This promise seemed like a copout from the start because we have no way of knowing who works on what at PB unless we very meticulously stalk their LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever. We have no solid statistics except for what they feed us. I do know, however, that they recently let the Ms. Match writers go and were hiring for external writers, but there really is no way of knowing what's going on behind-the-scenes with their 112+ employees, and of course there would be NDAs involved. We are yet to see a book with an all-Black cast, and receive rare development updates with new books. Actually, I think a really good way to promote diversity is to do staff showcases on their social media. Just a way to show the public who's responsible for what. Writers, game devs, the art team, etc. Don't think it'll happen, but it's always a good idea.

5. Donations - QUESTIONABLE

Pixelberry will also be making $100,000 in donations to Black Girls Code, the Black Writers Collective, and the Latinx Writers Collective at Techqueria. Rather than as a lump sum, we will be making these donations over the course of a year to remind us that we are not making short term changes, but are committed to long term sustainable actions. We’ll also be donating up to an additional $100k from profits for this week, 6/15-6/21.

There has been no proof, no receipts, no evidence from PB that they have donated anything to anyone, and as far as we're concerned, their word doesn't mean anything. No news or updates news about it. I would love to believe that they did something, but as you can see, I've become quite the pessimist. BWC still uses PB's old logo (like, pre-Choices) on their sponsors page, and the last interaction they've had with BGC was in 2013. They don't even follow each other on Instagram. In fact, BGC received a huge donation from MacKenzie Scott, formerly Bezos last July. Yes, that billionaire Bezos, and that got coverage from them. Obviously donations don't need to be for publicity, but in this case I think it's important there should be proof. Again, it's really hard to tell with these behind-the-scenes things, but given how PB loves to gloat and hates to keep promises, we can assume that none of this happened.

~~~

So, what's the takeaway? That PB's fallen down the drainhole of shitty content and empty promises and has no intention of climbing out as long as they still make that bank? Seems counterproductive, because good representation gets good feedback and income. They pump out bad books with barebones "representation" if you can call it that, then drop their precious merch and pretend all is fine and dandy. But just as I suspected one year ago, none of this matters, because people forget things, and people move on, and shit gets swept under rugs. Yet, here I am, yelling at a company in a post I for sure doubt they'll see. Because if not me, then who?

@playchoices Your move. It's been your move for a year now. When will you actually make it?

[pawborough]

Hi all!

Welcome back! Let's cut to the chase. Lots of new things. 😸

New Fauna

A bunch of new Fauna! This last month we welcomed Hydde (@nettlenest on Twitter) to our Fauna team. She's made great strides in working together with our artists to help develop and refine our style. Let’s see some new and improved Fauna! 

Note, titles may not be final and are subject to change!

Flitaya

Design and illustration by Hydde

Lupiné

Design and illustration by Hydde

The Lupiné saw a few different iterations as we used it to help the team discuss and jump off which design methods and tactics we could improve to keep cat and Fauna consistent. I'm happy where we landed!

Romanovtsa

Design and illustration by Hydde

Next, see what backer designed Fauna we’ve completed!

Pixiebell

Sponsored and concepted by Sprigatito, designed and illustrated by Remmie

Adorvid

Sponsored and concepted by Mayumi, designed and illustrated by Hydde

Kodahiru

Sponsored and concepted by Markoth, designed and illustrated by Remmie

Our art team has really found its groove. Myself and the artists have all dedicated large efforts this past month to style development and consistency, and we could not be prouder of the outcome. Artists now work closely with one another on poking and prodding at design elements, rendering tactics, color choices, linework, and everything in between. After we had gotten a better, more cohesive idea of the direction to go, everyone got onboard with developing a tight-knit space of feedback and agile asset creation.

The results have been stellar! A big hand to the art team for their amazing care, skill, and diligence. The PB art style has become something I truly love and deeply appreciate, and we couldn't get here without this vital work!

Moving forward, we want to update all older, out-of-style Fauna and assets to more cleanly fit this better defined direction. I want to thank everyone for sticking by the project while we refined our artistic development and saw initial growing pains.

Accessories will also be retooled to better fit these style parameters. Backdrop style development and its synergy with the character art is still in the works by our backdrop artists. But I must say, based on what the artists are doing, good things are to come…

Our team, both art and development, has never been more confident in the visual strength of PB!

Updated Assets - Bovine

Icons

Tuna, Avocado, Red Snapper, Spinach, Eggplant, Cinnamon, Bamboo, Cacao, Lavender, Cotton, Egg, Wood, Carrot, Strawberry, and Sardine all illustrated by Remmie

Regarding icons, I’ve been experimenting with a new icon layout and design which I believe will vastly improve a player’s quality of life for item management.

This modal or “card” will be replacing a “tooltips” system. The goal in mind is to make things easier for mobile users. These cards will be available via button for any small icon view-- seen in the above mockup.

Important gameplay details about an item can now be at a player’s fingertips quickly. And, it's completely mobile friendly!

Icon cards open a wealth of opportunity for including far more information and user accessibility in a very easy, streamlined way. 

Within these cards, I can also add varying “flipside” QoL information, such as accessory previews and a display of which of your cats have the item equipped. 

Note that these are low fidelity wireframes of what icon cards will look like, but I'm intent on keeping the card design clean and simple to better accentuate its elements. This gives for a more refined aesthetic which better highlights our wonderful icon art. Overall, this approach intends to give more visual reverence to the items a player manages gameplay with, creating a more immersive vibe.

Updated Asset - Cardinal

Last month, we shared a new Tiger pattern which marked the start of a newfound art direction for pattern assets. Here is another to share, the Cardinal pattern!

Design and illustration by Fulemy

In addition, after refining the cardinal pattern, we took another pass at the Tiger pattern.

Not much to note, but we refined some style nitpicks.

White Coverage

Next, I am sharing something I feel very, very excited by!

Two things I most want to prioritize in PB’s gameplay are:

Cats looking good the majority of the time

Opportunity to bond with an individual cat, while viewing your cats as special and unique to your gameplay experience.

These priorities feed into one another when designing the aesthetics. New cats must be rarer, and the genetic/breeding/generation 1 system must be designed to consistently produce good looking cats as easily and consistently as possible.

But what about making them unique…?

Introducing White Coverage

Designed and illustrated by Hydde, refined by Runeowl

Inspired heavily by the concept behind Spinda the Pokémon, white coverage consists of several illustrations of white shapes which can be layered during cat creation to produce completely unique outcomes. Shapes are calculated and chosen by a cat’s coverage “percentage” of 0-100%.

Myself and the team collectively worked together to refine this mechanic and create a dummy test to prove the concept worked. Hydde illustrated 48 different white patterns on a single cat base, and we plugged them into a basic generator with a basic algorithm… results were exciting!

We're still tooling the algorithm behind generating breeding outcomes, but white coverage percentages and shapes already on the parents will be factored.

After our proof of concept promised success, the artists took to creating a consistent “map” of all shapes which will be available on each cat. We have over 100 shapes which theoretically equal several billion combinations!

Above are just a few examples of the different shapes which we are currently tooling with.

The benefit of a genetic slot like this includes repurposing the “calico” pattern! Calico can now be checked off by white coverage, and include many, many different calico cat options that weren't ever possible before this mechanic. It should be easier than ever to create differing, unique, fantastical yet realistic cat patterns.

Now your run-of-the-mill everyday cat which you worked to earn will have something entirely unique to it, at least in theory. If not entirely unique, pretty dang close! This concept should also never aesthetically destroy a cat, unlike what piling on a mess of patterns and colors can equal. Your character, which you take on adventures, dress up, and create stories for can now easily be a design which is not and never will be anywhere else on the site!

While the exact layout of the shapes won't be entirely customizable, rerolling and breeding for them will allow for changing them. I do plan to have some leeway for customizability of the percentages while maintaining that unique aspect. Myself and the team can't wait to further refine this mechanic!

Asset Previews - Cobblestone Clearing

Design and illustration by Skazinbud

Here is a sketch of one of the backdrops, and I feel it really encompasses and impresses this new direction. Could not be happier with the skill and progress!

New Breed - The Prowler

Based off the Bengal cat, the Prowler is meant to resemble a normal, typical, run of the mill cat! Among all the wacky shapes and magical variations, a normal domestic feline is much needed.

It also caught my attention just how little shape and breed variance there is in the original three starter breeds; Shorthair, Snowfoot, and Ragdoll. This is a criticism we have received several times, and it is one I agree with.

The Prowler will be replacing Snowfoots as a starter breed.

This means that the Snowfoot/Prancer duo will not be immediately available at launch, but will be available at a later release post-launch. Sooner, rather than later.

It is my hope that this change will not only serve to better separate the Prancers and Bovines, but to give the domestic starter breeds some much needed variation!

As far as the Prowler mystic is concerned… all shall be revealed in due time! :)

Functionality Update?

To maintain transparency, last month I brought aboard a new dev team, CKCollab, as our long term partners in crime. They're here to see it through, maintain the game’s vision, and are as invested in the game’s long term success as I am!

As explained previously, restructuring has been for the good of the project, and of no ill will! We want this to be the best it can be.

My goal was to find developers who could take a more agile development approach to the building, as an agile process saves vital time, resources, and if something like a planned mechanic needs to change during the building process, it can be done in an agile environment without much pain or waste.

So, we threw the old cat creator algorithm out (a painstakingly not optimized application) and started from scratch on making something efficient and optimized.

None of this is easy to display, but how the generator has been built on the backend got a huge upgrade, including optimization which allows us to vastly scale up our current resolution (3000x3000) and still generate cats quickly. With some cutting edge optimization, our current numbers show that we can easily generate 12 million cats a day, which is frankly mind blowing. It currently takes 7 milliseconds for the system to generate a cat and 300 milliseconds to call the image up from the server. Current focus is on bringing that 300 down further. Speed wise, we did this all during a two week sprint. So… we're feeling confident!

We also refined the algorithm in this new architecture to allow for more freedom with how assets are placed. It sounds simple, but things like line breaking accents and transparent wings on a Moontail can now be done much easier.

All very important groundwork, but the frontend display is a bit of a mess, so it's difficult to show in its current state. From here though, the backend foundation and database is there to start building out system accounts, breeding, item collection, and fun battle mechanics, all of which we are working on one sprint at a time. Current goal for closed beta is still somewhere between late 2023 to early 2024.

Videos on functionality soon! A half-baked product can look very sloppy, so we want to be sure it's presentable first.

That all being said, PB has frankly never looked better with these new directions, and I'm so, so excited for its future.

To Summarize: We shared new many Fauna with a hone in on stylization, the updated cardinal gene, updated Bovines, white coverage, icon art and early UX/UI icon cards, the Prowler breed, and an update on the state of the backend.

What to expect next month: Any polished functionality displays, further development of front-end UI designs, and further asset updates.

[not-poignant]

I hope you don't mind me asking this, but you've talked about not having much money but don't you make like $700 USD per chapter on Patreon?

Oh god no! (Also I don't mind you asking this <3)

Okay, I charge twice a month, and twice a month only, no matter how many chapters I put up.

Man it'd be nice to pull that kind of money (if I legit charged for every chapter oh my god - but I'd also have way less patrons lol), but I actually average out to about $1000 USD a month, which is amazing, but it's nowhere near a living wage.

So I make around $12-14k a year from my writing (with a bit extra re: Ko-Fi and Perth Shifters - the latter of which makes me $24 a month), this year it will be closer to $12k, and then I make some additional money per year from my Disability Pension. Both of those things together are still nowhere near a living wage in Australia.

The only reason I charge 'per chapter' instead of 'per month' is not to make more money specifically, but so I can put the Patreon on hiatus easily. In the past, if you were charging per month, you had to completely shut down your Patreon if your health crashed (which mine does, fairly regularly), you couldn't post 'update' posts anymore or tell people when you were coming back on Patreon, and people would either get charged for nothing at all or you couldn't communicate with them. I hated that. So I changed to 'per unit' (chapter), because that meant if I elected not to charge anyone at all during a bad month, no one gets charged, and I can take a break without kind of formally putting the whole Patreon on hiatus. I have taken multiple hiatuses since and been able to keep my Patreon running, and keep communicating to my patrons. Perfect. :D

People on Patreon can see which chapters they're charged for, because the post will say 'Paid for by patrons' (most posts don't say this!), and because I specifically use the tag 'Charged Update' so that patrons can see for themselves via the tags that they're not being charged for the majority of what's going up right now.

Even if I post three The Ice Plague chapters a month, I only charge for two. That's it. If it's not The Ice Plague it would be some other original story. But only that.

And then on top of that, I have always strongly encouraged patrons to cap their pledge, which means most patrons only actually pay for one chapter per month, even if I charge for two. That's why I don't make $1400 USD a month, but around $1000, because over half the patrons do this (I actually even have a 'how-to' post but Patreon has changed things a bit since then, but you can still cap your pledge!). (This is a smart way to do it, it means you can pledge a higher dollar amount, but only pay as much as a lower dollar amount, and get the early access chapters).

I actually don't mind people asking me about writing finances. I don't think enough writers talk about it, and it can be a bit 'secretive'/taboo which isn't helpful for writers who do actually want to make money. (Or for people who are imagining that I just made like, fuck, $7k this month from writing lmao). I am both doing 'well' as a writer, but not really anywhere close to my goals.

My actual all-time dream is to make enough money as a writer to finally come off government welfare, but truly, I don't think that will ever happen. Right now my writing income mostly serves to cover ancillary health appointments (like psychiatry/psychology/non PBS meds etc. I have no medical insurance), and sometimes like a new appliance if something breaks after 10 years. And I'm extremely grateful for that!

I'm definitely not making a literal $700 USD per chapter. I charge for 2 chapters per month, and I make around $1k USD per month because of that. :)

I hope that helps! :D