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noweyesee · 3 years

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Let’s talk about •••

••• Spirit Work

Pt.1/2

• Spirit Work 101

Spirit Work is a term that was coined very recently, mostly having an upsurge with the new age witchcraft in social medias - that is not to say that the practice of communicating with spirits is new, rather, that such a term can be used in an overgeneralized manner. That in turn leads to misinformation about the topic.

•• So, what is Spirit Work?

Broadly, it is seen as a witchcraft practice where a person uses their abilities to communicate with spirits - people who have passed, guides, ancestors and such. What the term doesn’t clarify is that there are a multitude of ways in doing that, from religious practices to self developed methods as well as the target audience of that spirit work.

Taking a look at the word spirit we find the first divergence of intent: those stated before all fall in the category of deceased human spirits; then we have those who through their animistic or similar beliefs include the spirits of animals and all beings (and “things”) who once lived. Then, we have another category, those that communicate with the otherworldly and nature centred beings that have passed (though most commonly those are still alive), such as the Fae. Others include communication with deities in this practice, and lastly, we have another modality of those that work with the essence of spirits, be they dead or alive - they are included for they too have soul. • This is the first break, and as such themes and different styles of practitioners can already be found, most commonly used are Mediums, Healers, Channelers, Communicators.

Outside of that, we have believers and followers of certain religions that also have this designated space for that type of communication, though I won’t go into detail for this, Norse Paganism, Spiritism and African Traditional and Descending Religions, are some of them.

••• So, no, it is not a bad thing that this practice has been disseminated and made accessible to all practitioners, witches, pagans and heathens out there - but one must always take a step back and analyze the information they have as well as the intent they will follow in this path.

Spirit Work is no game, it can have serious consequences and that should not discourage you to try - rather, encourage you to be attentive and take it seriously.

• What not to do

This here, at least for me (but feel free to add on or disagree, the beauty of the community are the different methods after all) - are some of the absolute don’ts when practicing Spirit Work, divided in two topics as there is a theoretical and a practical side to it.

• Theoretical

Don’t immediately go following any instructions, no matter if they explicitly are for summoning, inviting or channeling or just imply that it’ll make your communication with spirits easier.

Because: You need to be 100% aware of what exactly you are doing, though there are some good sources, it is always good to double and even triple check ingredients, intents and procedures before starting anything.

Don’t begin anything if you don’t have contingency plans and a way to clear a possible mess up.

Because: When doing this type of work, you are the only thing you have control of - spirits can be volatile, especially if you’re starting communication with ones you never had contact with before. Plan ahead and certify yourself that even if something goes out of what was expected you'll be able to deal with it.

• Practical

Don’t call forth anything that you have no idea what and who exactly it is.

Because: There are opportunistic spirits that excel in impersonating. If your intentions are unclear when channeling or inviting someone or something they can and will take the chance. Be clear about who you are working with.

Don’t be rude or insistent towards spirits.

Because: Spirits deserve respect, and as such, you won’t want to anger an immaterial being just because of impatience. Treat them as you would like to be treated. Being firm doesn’t mean being rude.

Don’t keep your sensitivity channel open, if you can.

Because: The Spirit World is everywhere, and it exists alongside our material World. When working with spirits you’ll see that there are moments you need to distance yourself otherwise the input will be constant. Learn how to control and lock your sensitivity as it is being developed to minimize bothersome encounters or overload of inputs.

Don’t do your Spirit Work in any place - reserve a specific place for it.

Because: Not only is this a sign of respect towards the spirits you’ll be communicating with, but it also makes it easier for you to control, cleanse and protect that environment.

•• How to

Preparation and Protection

After that many Dont´s, we finally go towards the Do´s. Let me get this right, I by nature am extremely paranoid, and due to that I find preparation and protection essential to control variables, be confident and to keep calm - like this, I don’t fear the unknown nor the uncontrollable because one way or another I'm ready for it.

Now, once again, these preparatory and protective steps will depend a lot on what method of Spirit Work you’re practicing, but some of them are pretty universal and these are the one’s I’ll be passing on to you.

• To Prepare

A spirit worker's body and spirit must always be clear, attentive and sensible. To prepare you must do whatever rituals pertain to your practice, that prepare you emotionally, psychologically and spiritually to deal and work with spirits.

This might include meditation, trance work, cleansing rituals and so on - this takes off the layer of mundane impressions that could marr your interpretation and leave you like a clean slate through which the Spirit’s voice can be clearly understood.

Your working space should also be clean on any influencing energies, organized and quiet enough (or loud enough depending on your vertent) for you to focus solely on the presence you’ll be working with.

I particularly find that asking for permission and guidance from my guides always makes this preparation process easier, as that is their realm and their ponctuations, advice and warnings are always welcome.

• Being Protected

There are three points of protection: Your Body (which is the conductor of your energy), Your Mind (which contains your Spirit - though not all beliefs follow this) and Your House (or de place you do your Spirit work).

These three should be duly protected and warded as you see fit before you start your spirit work. Methods for those vary as they can be easily found around the internet, in books and such. I wouldn’t be able to tell you which method of protection and warding you’ll prefer, which you’ll absolutely trust to work and which will be ideal to your specific target audience with spirit work but, one advice: Never share all ingredients nor steps of your protection and warding spells.

You may realize that I rarely, if ever, post spells. The answer is simple: any spell can be counteracted, especially if people know everything you used.

And trust me when I say that these protection and warding spells of your for Spirit Working are ones you wouldn’t like to be tampered with.

•••• 👁 ••••

For now that’s it, this post was very broad as I talked about general warnings and things of importance that precede the practice of Spirit Working. It’ll be a short series of posts, with only two.

The second one will be more action centered, most likely bigger with explanations of what to do in each case of spirit working. Till then, yeah?

-Lou

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usergreenpixel · 3 years

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JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 2: The Black Book (1949)

1. Introduction

Welp, here it is, Citizens.

Welcome to the second meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Please, enjoy some snacks and drinks and get comfortable because we’re in for a pretty wild ride.

The review of “The Black Book” is finally here. Initially released under the title “Reign of Terror” in 1949, it acquired its second (and more famous in our community) title during its rereleases, as far as my research could tell me.

Now, before we proceed, allow me to give you some background info on the way I found this movie.

I have seen @frevandrest ‘s posts referring to it. A few other people too, but I simply don’t remember the usernames. Still, I immediately got the impression that it’s a rather infamous movie in our community so I decided to review it simply out of morbid curiosity, just to see what the fuss was about.

I found the entire thing on YouTube so it’s available for anyone curious or masochistic enough to check it out.

Let’s just say that I dropped the movie several times and the reasons for this awful impression are going to be listed below.

2. The Story

The story reeks of propaganda, which is to be expected.

Basically, The Evil Misogynistic Gay Pigeon Boi Not Yet Dictator ™️ Robespierre wants to become, well, the dictator of France.

Problem is, apparently only Barras can appoint him as the dictator and that guy is in hiding, refusing to comply. And to make things worse, the titular book, Robespierre’s personal death list of sorts, has vanished.

Robespierre believes that he cannot control the Convention without the book and summons Duval, the butcher prosecutor from Strasbourg, to locate the death list in 24 hours. Unbeknownst to him, Duval gets replaced by one Charles D’Aubigny, who is eager to stop Robespierre...

Yes, Citizens, they attempted to make a thriller/detective story of sorts, which isn’t a bad idea. If my prompts are any indication, there’s a lot of genres that fit the setting of the French Revolution. In fact, I would love to read a good detective story set in this era.

The keyword here is ‘good’ though, and, unfortunately, this movie simply didn’t cut it for me as a detective story.

(Spoilers ahead!)

In all honesty, it’s actually quite predictable in its execution. Personally, I predicted rather quickly that the book wasn’t actually stolen and it was a distraction move.

The complete lack of logic in the actions of this Robespierre and the ridiculous levels of seriousness also were really painful to watch and kept breaking any potential immersion on my part.

For instance, Robespierre’s method of controlling the Convention is not telling who is and who is not on the list.

Now, in Real Life ™️, this hardly stopped the Thermidorians but apparently that’s not the case in the movie! Nobody even tries to speak up against him or, you know, quietly assassinate him to prevent him from getting all the power, which is hardly realistic if you ask me.

I also feel like this plot line of Charles and Madelon (the female lead) being these bitter exes is boring and really done to death. It’s actually one of my least favorite tropes and I would rather prefer them to simply have a professional relationship (because yes, men and women can have platonic relationships), like old acquaintances who went on a spying mission that one time or something similar.

This romantic subplot was really shoehorned into the story in my opinion and I do believe that it would’ve been more tolerable with only the main plot left in the final script, but oh well.

3. The Characters

Once again, boring is the best adjective I can come up with. Fouché felt less out of character than the others though, which is not a good sign.

Madelon is the femme fatale mixed with damsel in distress and Charles is the stereotypical single detective character. That’s about it. They’re both just walking clichés.

Anyway, since the OCs are kind of archetypical and blander than oatmeal without milk, let’s discuss the historical figures.

Robespierre is once again stereotypical, but I find it funny that his HQ are connected to a bakery and his scene with pigeons near the beginning is surprisingly accurate in the sense of the “he likes pigeons” tidbit. I don’t know if the creators did any research on this but it’s a nice detail nonetheless.

And now let’s talk about Saint-Just in this mess. He is ridiculously and cartoonishly evil, kicks kittens to prove it, giggles and grins like me when I write something funny in my chapters and is incredibly dumb. Also, he sounds and acts like he belongs in a Western, not in this kind of movie.

Fouché is...well, Fouché, believe it or not. Opportunistic, cruel, a backstabber and he turns on Robespierre so he is not as out of character as the others. He also makes a face similar to an owl or that “You don’t say” meme. His almost friendly banter with Charles is pretty entertaining though, I’ll give him that.

4. The Setting

The authors didn’t do their homework here properly. I’m not an expert but most outfits don’t fit that epoch and a lot of names are butchered when they’re pronounced. Danton and Marie-Antoinette in particular suffer from that, but so does SJ.

I know that the Internet was not a thing yet but it baffles me that apparently the creators couldn’t bother to consult native French speakers? Dig up information about the time period in archives? Look at portraits? Read books? You know, the usual parts of ❇️ research ❇️. Apparently, they couldn’t and it really shows.

The backgrounds are better in this department, but nothing particularly impressive here either.

5. The Acting

A+ for effort I guess. Look, guys, people trash actors a lot but I think that here they tried their best with what they had so props for that. The over-the-top acting and the extensive seriousness even made this boredom fest kind of funny to watch at times so I’m going to give it credit where credit is due.

6. The Conclusion

All in all, a pretty bad and boring movie filled with propaganda, clichés, flat characters but also occasional unintentionally funny and cartoonish moments sprinkled in.

If you’re into bad movies, I won’t stop you from watching it but I highly recommend you to do something else with your free time if you’re looking for an actually good movie.

This concludes today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Stay tuned for updates, Citizens, and stay safe!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

#french revolution #frev media #frev #maximilien robespierre #louis antoine de saint just #I still refuse to make a fouche tag #napoleon #history #movies #Jacobin Fiction Convention #review

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af1899 · 3 years

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FEH - af1899 summons for Scion Julia

Finally! After the trailer was revealed I was excitedly looking forward to summon on this banner, so how did it go? Here are the results... Originally, I was going to share a video of my summons done yesterday, after finishing the video itself today, but my PC suddenly has "decided" to break again, the first time was over a year ago because the processor and motherboard short circuited between one night and the morning of the next day, even though it wasn't plugged to the power outlet... weird, some months have passed before it could finally be repaired. This time, it turns on, the PC can turn on whenever I press the power button, the processor fan works and all but nothing appears on the screen, plus there's a red LED lighting up constantly, which seems unusual.

I'm just commenting on my issue for context but feel free to ignore it or provide suggestions on what else I could try for diagnosing/repairing. I'm currently investigating and trying different suggestions available on internet.

But if I manage to get it working again or at least, recover all of my files, then I'll finish the video and share it in another post.

Anyway, here's details of my summons for Scion Julia.

So, I've started with the total of 212 [Orbs]... and it was a good beginning, with these off-focus units appearing shortly after a few summons without even raising the rate:

Alm just likes to show up, this is probably my third or fourth copy so far, Idk...

And the Morgan is welcome, someone will eat really well at a later time...

Uhhh... nice, but I'll need to think to who I fodder her to... at least with her [Dragonflowers (I)] and those of the Morgan I can finally fully boost Sonya.

Some time after, I get her:

It's so nice to have a merge for her! 🥰

And after getting to 3.5%, she appears... for the second time ever:

Honestly, I have no idea what do I do with her, I'll keep her around in case but most likely going to fodder to whoever needs either of her skills first... Ideally I'd like both, but Legendary Ryoma is still somehow the only source of [Kestrel Stance 2], and this is in 2021. 🤨

After this, things just have been getting worse, as it seems to be customary of red hell seasonal summoning, I was getting to a rate of 4.5% and had to do a couple of [Chain Challenges] to raise 20+ [Orbs] before pulling, at some point, I got 4 rounds with no single red in a row, that's the worst that can happen when you're desperately trying to gather up [Orbs] and can't whale/dolphin... but a miracle finally took place:

In the same circle, I finally got Julia, and since I had a rate of 4.25%, I pulled on the rest of the round which eadly had no colorless but all the other colors, didn't get anything other than just my second Hinoka.

Aftermath

Well, after getting Julia I was really happy, yet feeling also sad and frustrated because things went so ruinously.

I spent some time looking for the skills I would like for Julia and came up with this build:

Sadly, there's not much I can give her, but she got two rare skills there, which of course she deserves.

I haven't exactly decided how I want to build her but this'll do for now, [Mystic Boost] is there for the healing but I know both it and [Light and Dark] have the adaptive damage disabler.

"Ouch, and how much did you spend?"

Well, after looking at my recordings (before my PC stopped working because I moved all the recordings to there), it was a total of... 244 [Orbs], I had to gather [Orbs] until 20+ a total of 6 times so that I could append their matching recordings to the main video and get over with summoning.

"Do you plan to summon as you said? Emptying your [Orb] savings over weeks?"

I'm well aware I've mentioned that she'd drain my [Orbs] for weeks when she was announced, but this "luck" has been not so good and made me get some of my emergency savings from the [Main Story] section, which I want to keep as intact as possible.

But this experience reminded me to not to be so haphazard when it comes to planning (specially amidst hype), it also drained my willpower to keep pulling so I will at least save, I'm interested in getting Duo Deirdre+Sigurd and/or Soiree Ishtar, but I'll plan accordingly once the calendar rolls out (and I'm aware that red seasonal hell across two banners with so little to spare is a bad idea but I appreciate those guys a lot, so I feel like at least pulling on first circle), for now, I'm saving again.

Resume of obtained 5★s and their destinies

«The fates in each of these Heroes has been carved in stone ever since their first days walking into the World of Zenith.»

Fallen Male Morgan (+hp/-att): fodder, TBA recipient.

Alm (+spd/-hp): fodder, TBA recipient.

Lysithea (+res/-att): fodder, TBA recipient.

YouTube Olivia (+def/-res): merged into neutral unmerged copy, now +1 with neutral IVs.

Say'ri (+res/-hp): likely fodder.

Scion Julia (+hp/-def): IVs are all right but she's guaranteed merge project. Completes Julia themed team.

Hinoka (+def/-res): Scion Julia gets [Hone Fliers].

Complete themed team

And with that, I've completed the themed team:

...well, at least I have all the versions, but sadly none fully merged.

Yet I adore her too much, so she deserves her own team anyway. 💜🥺

#fe heroes #FEH #fire emblem heroes #fe julia

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signetxego · 4 years

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The twst dorm leaders playing gbf, purely for meme purposes, something i spent too much time on. below the cut for long post.

Riddle

⁃ Rank 101

⁃ Plays casually but consistently, riddle is a perfectionist and wants to make his teams good, but he’s also realistic and pragmatic. He knows he’s a busy guy, and can’t join trains all day to bust up all his grids at once

⁃ The type to focus on one team at a time based on a predetermined order. Probably not in a crew (if he is, it’s just him, Cater and some of Cater’s friends) so he doesn’t worry about guild wars and building his teams based on that.

⁃ f2p, he’s responsible with his money. probably mains light since he likes the comfort of a high hp pool + stamina, and the typical light play style is reliable and safe.

⁃ Has only recruited one eternal—funf. Her voice probably drives him up the wall, but he likes the security of her heals to his light team. Is planning on 5*ing her!

⁃ favourite class is doctor. Practical, and he won’t admit it but sexy as fuck

⁃ He plays for the gameplay rather than the story/characters, the one exception is sandalphon, who he is incredibly fond of!!! he reads stories if the plot interests him, however, and if he’s got some spare time.

Leona

⁃ Rank 1

⁃ Leona doesn’t play he’s in it like a collecting game and so ruggie can use his randomly lucksacked mlb shiva as a support summon

⁃ like vil, plays on roulette season

⁃ reads some stories, but on ruggies account bc he cba to unlock them himself

⁃ ruggie made a joke about leona being percival ‘if he lost his sense of honour’ which made leona go and read the dragon knights stories

⁃ bruh he fucking stans percy so hard after reading between frost and flame but he won’t admit it

⁃ frequently throws money at the game just because he feels like pulling in gacha. ruggie is crying. leona don’t buy the scam star draw set you don’t even play the game please

⁃ is always really lucky in gacha

Azul

⁃ Rank 200

⁃ Only started playing recently, but was determined to catch up to Idia and become the best player so he got the twins and some poor unfortunate souls to help him grind and pay his way to instant victory

⁃ Doesn’t care for the plot, is purely driven by competition and wanting to have the best grids at any given time. Mains water for the Octavinelle Aesthetic and bitches about having to play the summer cagliostro crit setup to compete with other elements.

⁃ Likes quatre because they are both driven purely by spite and revenge, and is desperate for him to get a rebalance so he can run him w/ a clear conscience

⁃ Also likes Six, probably cried like a bitchboy during seeds of redemption which is to this date the only story he has read but you didn’t hear it from me

⁃ In a crew with idia and is waiting to overthrow him as captain

⁃ Has a weird spreadsheet showing exactly when to cast a status effect for it to land with the highest success that’s virtually unreadable to anyone aside from him

⁃ Plays chaos ruler as default bc he thinks it looks cool

⁃ sparks for the weapon rather than the character

⁃ hates farming for mats and gets the twins/his slaves to do his dailies when he’s busy a lot of the time god i wish i had slaves to farm ubaha host mats for me rn

Kalim

⁃ Rank 50 but his grids are the best of anyone in the game bc haha money go brrrr

⁃ He is cursed with bad gacha luck, and managed to deck himself out with the sexiest primal grid possible (puts idia’s to shame) thanks to jamils help, and a lot of money spent on trying to get Vikala’s ssr (before realising the spark function existed...)

⁃ He doesn’t favour any element, because he likes all the characters! He has a soft spot for Anila and Vikala though, since they’re so adorable and fun!

⁃ Doesn’t play seriously and mostly just reads the stories, idia wants to cry when he sees his fire grid with four flb ixabas going to waste

⁃ He likes Sarasa, and thinks she’s really funny, so when he does play it’s mostly grinding to recruit her!

⁃ Actually likes Vyrn and doesn’t find him annoying! has actually read the main story.

⁃ solos as soon as he has 300 crystals, he literally can’t save, i hate it here

⁃ his favourite class is lumberjack, but he hasn’t unlocked it yet ;-; ccws are hard to forge for rank 100 and below ;-;

Vil

⁃ Rank 25

⁃ seasonal player, shows up for roulette season and then leaves

⁃ downloaded the game because of the pretty art and the cute character designs, but can’t be bothered to learn how to play—he’s a busy man!

⁃ Europa was his first SSR and is still one of his favourite characters, she’s so pretty! He also loves michael and gabriel, and would start playing properly if they became playable mark my words

⁃ won’t admit it but probably wants belial to smear his makeup a little

⁃ kinda a basic bitch, has only read the wmtsb series cried at the ‘i’ll be waiting’ scene

⁃ criticises the fashion choices of every character he pulls, summons included. Won’t go into raids if the boss is ugly.

⁃ Does his makeup with zero playing in the bg and once parades lust...

Idia

⁃ Rank 275

⁃ that insane player who has soloed faasan hl in every element, has all the eternals 5*ed + the sexy blue skin, and all the evokers

⁃ a legendary figure in the community

⁃ plays as tormentor in every team bc he’s that bitch and also has a damascus knife mh for every element even if he doesn’t always use it

⁃ is both serious abt gameplay and the characters, watches all the gbf channel episodes and keeps up with news

⁃ was probably in a gbfvs tournament

⁃ his favourite character is caim, who reminds him of ortho with his childish innocence! Second is Nio, who is quiet and cute! He’s fond of a lot of characters though, like esser, funf, ferry and narmaya.

⁃ Strictly plays with his faves, but his grids are so good that he manages to make any setup meta.

⁃ Has siero scratcher ptsd bc it didn’t give him his third flb blue sphere but got tempted with it so. many. times.

⁃ Is in a guild w/ azul and ortho + some internet friends and if anyone doesn’t meet the gw quota in a day he screams at them w his hair all red and angry

⁃ owns the gisla body pillow.

⁃ He mains all elements. He has a primal whale grid for every element. His favourite to play with is probably wind, because he thinks it has the most flexibility in its play style. Hes a little mad that winds evoker is not as good as most of the others...

⁃ Idia: “i play for strategy” also idia: ‘gets fraux before alanaan bc the waifu is too strong’

Malleus

⁃ Rank 200

⁃ he can’t play, he’s just been farming tiamat omega raids daily since the games launch

⁃ he downloaded it to get closer to lilia, who is really *really* trying to teach him how to play with... little success

⁃ Still, he doesn’t give up!

⁃ Used his free gold bar uncapping a celeste horn

⁃ forgot to collect his free eternal

⁃ used parazonium as skill fodder (dw malmal i did the same and i live with the guilt)

⁃ uses auto select for his grids

⁃ lilia is crying in the background and often steps in to make the grids himself, but malleus always accidentally deletes them...

⁃ his favourite character is vania, she reminds him of lilia! and also, himself, in a strange way...

⁃ he also likes song, and has worked very hard to recruit her! he almost cried reading about how she was ostracised in her village for her talent at archery, and how lonely she feels, even in the eternals.

⁃ whenever the characters give him a seasonal message, he cries

⁃ gives valentines/white day/christmas gifts to every single character he has

#twisted wonderland #twst #granblue fantasy #gbf

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Speaking of Riley and other friends who are excellent, allow me to take a moment to pimp some of their books if anyone’s got some spare coin and is looking for good reads while on lockdown.

Noteworthy by Riley Redgate

It’s the start of Jordan Sun’s junior year at the Kensington-Blaine Boarding School for the Performing Arts. Unfortunately, she’s an Alto 2, which—in the musical theatre world—is sort of like being a vulture in the wild: She has a spot in the ecosystem, but nobody’s falling over themselves to express their appreciation. So it’s no surprise when she gets shut out of the fall musical for the third year straight. But then the school gets a mass email: A spot has opened up in the Sharpshooters, Kensington’s elite a cappella octet. Worshiped . . . revered . . . all male. Desperate to prove herself, Jordan auditions in her most convincing drag, and it turns out that Jordan Sun, Tenor 1, is exactly what the Sharps are looking for.

Rio’s got two other books you should also check out, I just grabbed this one at random because they’re all great (though its actually ‘7 Ways We Lie’ that’s my personal fave because Reasons).

Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack and kill her best friend Saengo.

And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life.

Unveiled as the first soulguide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soulguide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

This one is the start of a new duology and doesn’t actually come out until June 23rd, but Lori’s got a couple other books out already that are also worth the read. Her Infinite series starts with Gates of Thread and Stone and has the first two books out, there will be a concluding third volume still to come. But I’m lucky enough to have gotten to read Forest of Souls in advance cuz Nyah nyah (I’m so mature, phear my age and wisdom) and its by faaaaar my favorite of hers to date, including more than just the other two books she’s had published so far, and just look at that cover. Ugh. I love it so much.

(It wasn’t her original cover, actually, they originally wanted to go with this cover of Suck that made me go umm how do you say “Eww” in polite, and authors have little to no feedback they can give on the cover, but Lori took a shot and sent in some examples of other cover artists she really liked and thought had styles fitting her image of the book better, and they picked one of the ones she sent and commissioned a whole new cover, and voila, ended up going with the above cover in all its spooky, thematically ominous glory.)

On The Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis

A thrilling, thought-provoking novel from one of young-adult literature’s boldest new talents. January 29, 2035. That’s the day the comet is scheduled to hit—the big one. Denise and her mother and sister, Iris, have been assigned to a temporary shelter outside their hometown of Amsterdam to wait out the blast, but Iris is nowhere to be found, and at the rate Denise’s drug-addicted mother is going, they’ll never reach the shelter in time. A last-minute meeting leads them to something better than a temporary shelter—a generation ship, scheduled to leave Earth behind to colonize new worlds after the comet hits. But everyone on the ship has been chosen because of their usefulness. Denise is autistic and fears that she’ll never be allowed to stay. Can she obtain a spot before the ship takes flight? What about her mother and sister? When the future of the human race is at stake, whose lives matter most?

Cory is actually one of my oldest friends lmao, like, I first met her through another writing friend when we both roleplayed on this messageboard X-Men: Evolution RPG over fifteen years ago, and just....somehow never lost track of each other through all our various hyper-fixations and divergent fandoms and even with years-long ‘vanishing from the internet’ periods by yours truly (I am was mysterious and enigmatic, hear me roar). This is actually her third published novel? Or maybe second, I forget the order....her first, Otherbound, is great too, she’s written a Guardians of the Galaxy tie-in novel for Marvel, and she’s got her next book, “The Art of Saving the World” coming out this September, and its soooo good and head-trippy and the premise is so mindfucky that I have no idea how she pulled it off as well as she did and its great and you will love it or you will answer to me (lol no you won’t, I am all talk, I bruise like a peach, don’t doxx me yo). But On The Edge of Gone remains my personal fave of hers, Denise is an in-text disabled autistic black girl and suuuuuuch a fantastic main character, and her love for her family against the backdrop of an apocalypse actually in its on-going stage, no post about it, is like.....unfortunately a little too prophetic in various ways, lolol, but like, timely as hell and resonates.

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee

Welcome to Andover, where superpowers are common, but internships are complicated. Just ask high school nobody, Jessica Tran. Despite her heroic lineage, Jess is resigned to a life without superpowers and is merely looking to beef up her college applications when she stumbles upon the perfect (paid!) internship--only it turns out to be for the towns most heinous supervillain. On the upside, she gets to work with her longtime secret crush, Abby, whom Jess thinks may have a secret of her own. Then theres the budding attraction to her fellow intern, the mysterious “M,” who never seems to be in the same place as Abby. But what starts as a fun way to spite her superhero parents takes a sudden and dangerous turn when she uncovers a plot larger than heroes and villains altogether.

I actually met C.B. on tumblr here, via this account, thanks to a mutual mutual, which just goes to show you never know who you might end up meeting on tumblr dot hellsite dot org, and only after that fact did we find out that we had various other mutual friends from our writing/publishing circles of friends, including Cory, lolol, so y’know....small world. But this series has three books out, with a fourth to come, and its such awesome fun, with superpower hijinks galore, an Asian protag and tons of LGBTQ+ supporting characters, trans superheroes, and compelling plots. She’s also writing Ben 10 comics for Boom! Studios, a comic book company that does original content but also publishes a ton of licensed properties like various other cartoons like Ben 10, the Power Rangers, etc, etc. And this reminds me there’s a certain story she was working on the last time we met up for coffee like, lololol probably three years ago now, which means I am way overdue to bug her about it and ask “Is it done yet is it done yet can I read it yet is it done yet” because I am a paragon of patience and a bastion of self-control, obvsly.

Anyway, here endeth the pimping of my friends, go forth and buy ye their novels, verily and such. Or y’know. Don’t. If you don’t want to be cool, I guess. Nerds. (LOL no but if you like my content and posts and topics I think you stand a better than average likelihood of enjoying at least one of the books by the aforementioned ladies, and you’d be supporting LGBTQ+ authors as there’s nary a straight among them. LOL, like I would ever have straight friends, hahahaha could you imagine, what would we even do).

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ladymaigrey · 4 years

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Tales of Little Monster - Minecraft Part 2

Here I am, typing this with slightly shaking hands, pausing to take desperate gulps of red wine. It’s really not great. I think it’s cooking wine. But I. Don’t. Care. It’s alcohol, and I need it.

We have just survived an evening full of horror, a tale of heartbreaking woe, an encounter with the cosmic forces of death and destruction that have scarred us all; marks of which we will bear until these eldrich adamantine powers come to claim us in the end, as is the fate of all who live and breathe and scream under this apathetic sun...

But, to start at the beginning of my tale.

As I already related to y’all in my first post on the subject of Little Monster and Minecraft, our 6yo daughter is really partial to animals. All kind of animals. Any kinds of animals. Unfortunately, as our apartment is quite small, we cannot keep an actual pet, so she makes up for it with dozens of stuffies residing on her bed (a pile that she burrows into happily every night, like a little worm into its favourite heap of compost). And - she scours the countryside of Minecraft, naming and bringing back to her virtual “home” whatever type of animal she is interested in collecting at the moment.

It started off with a pig called Lily. A pig who she resided with in the White House of Washington DC (because, let in never be claimed that our Little Monster is lacking a sense of grandeur). However, she soon moved her abode to the Washington Monument, because it was easier to see from afar when she goes hunting around for new pets.

So, she brought Lily, and a few more pigs that she encountered on the way, to the Monument, settled them inside, and fed them beetroot and potatoes. Favourite Minecraft pig food. Pigs emoted with lovehearts when she did that. You should’ve heard her squealing with happiness!

Now Minecraft being a fairly simple game, treats issues such as reproduction prosaically: get two adult animals, feed them, make them happy, they do what happy animals do. Lo and behold, Little Monster had cute piglets running around. If they squealed, it could not be heard over the happy chatter of our Little Monster. The more she fed them, the faster the piglets grew, the more piglets appeared and ... the Washington Monument rapidly became full.

Welcome to what we dubbed the Big Pig Problem.

Oh and, yes, she put little saddles on all of them... (DON’T ASK!)

Eventually, she figured she had enough pigs and turned her hand to sheep. Rinse and repeat ... see them on the side? That’s just a small fraction of them. Lotsa sheep! Happy Little Monster!

Next - she found a pair of cats! Oh, and some bunnies! Cute grey bunnies! She named them Dididoo and Tititoo. My husband and I were in the lounge room giggling (in a slightly manic way) and wondering whether Minecraft took into account rabbits’ most-famous attribute, and whether the swiftness with which they multiplied would quickly result in a grey bouncing carpet underneath the pigs and the sheep.

Instead, we heard a scream! The sort of heart-wrenching scream, followed by a flood of hysterical hitching sobs that can only be produced by a six year old who came face-to-face with the bottomless cruelty of this world, and whose innocence was shattered into irreparable shards by the encounter.

We rushed into the room, stuttering hollow words of comfort, attempting to draw the story out from between the sobs, until we pieced together a tale of tragedy.

It was a tale of two cats, and of hunting, of stalking and of EATING, that unfolded before the Little Monster’s eyes. We think it was Dididoo that met the grisly fate first. But, perhaps, it was Tititoo... Either way, all we saw on the screen was the remaining bunny, disappearing between the legs of the packed pigs and sheep, with a cat on its trail...

Maybe, we could, at least, stop the slaughter of the remaining bunny?

I raced to the keyboard (have I ever played Minecraft before?! Nope! But when you become a parent you have to learn to do all sorts of things you’ve never dreamed about, and parenting books never mentioned!) and fumbled my way through isolating one of the cats away from the other animals....

Phew. “See, the bunnies are safe!”

”Nooo... there are TWO cats!”

Fuck.

OK, plan B: when all else fails, misdirect and switch! Oh yeah, parents are supposed to be magicians too.

One of us coaxed the hiccuping girl into the bathroom for her nightly shower routine, while the other desperately tried to locate the other f-ing CAT!

But... there was no way to locate the said f-ing cat in the milling, bopping, bouncing, teeming pile of sheep and pigs that was taking up the bottom floor of the Washington Monument! So, Step 1: build a fence outside and try to coax the Pig-Sheep population out and disperse them over larger area, without, God forbid, losing any of them.

My husband was in charge of Step 1. Step 1 failed dismally. The new fence wasn’t tall enough and the old barricades were now broken.

Sheep and saddled pigs were EVERYWHERE!

I hissed sotto voce at the poor man “fix it, or else”, while I went back to distracting the Little Monster... Fortunately, he knew that the or else entailed a fate far worse than anything I could heap on him and complied.

The second wall held.

The f-ing cat was found and isolated with it’s ravenous mate.

But there were no more bunnies....

And, so, we resorted to the good old fashioned trick - get the kid another pet in lieu of the tragically diseased one.

And so, while the Little Monster was desperately trying to get back into the room to check whether her parents were indeed right in their assurances that nothing happened, and her pet rabbits were alive and well and all was a horrid figment of her imagination... I was finding the cheat codes on the internet on how to summon new rabbits, and name them, and place them well away from the f-ing cats!

Here they are: Dididoo and Tititoo Mark 2 (shhhhh!)

The tears dried up, some faith in humanity (if not in cats!) was restored for our little girl. Thankfully, she is still of age when she believes in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause and the magic of parents.

We, on the other hands, feel like we battled a Lovecraftian monster and barely scraped our sanity out of its teeth.

I need more wine!

#Tales of Little Monster #Minecraft #horror #cats #rabbits #pigs #sheep #mypost #comedy

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dustedmagazine · 4 years

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Dust Volume 6, Number 8

Angel Olsen

Now half a year in the pandemic, we’re starting to see the emergence of quarantine records, whether in the trove of reissues hastily assembled to stand in for new product or home recorded projects made with extremely close friends and family or albums that are conceived and written around the concept of isolation. Music isn’t real life, exactly, but it lives nearby. And in any case, it’s still music and can be good or bad whether it’s been unearthed from a forgotten box of tapes, recorded at home without collaboration or side people or technologically gerry-rigged so that distanced partners can work together. So, as long as you all are making music, we will continue to listen and find records that move us, as the world burns all around. This edition’s contributors included Patrick Masterson, Andrew Forell, Tim Clarke, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Jonathan Shaw, Justin Cober-Lake and Ray Garraty. Enjoy.

+ — #playboy (Deluxe Edition) (self-released)

#playboy (deluxe edition) by +

One of the most genuinely confounding records I’ve heard this year comes courtesy SEO-unfriendly artist + aka Plus Sign fka Emanuel James Vinson, a Chicago rapper, city planner and all-around community activist who spends his time helping with the city’s Let’s Build Garden City initiative when he’s not making music (which is frequent, by the way — take a look at the breadth of that Bandcamp discography). The concept with #playboy, originally released in April but deluxed in late May, is simple: Two kids find a music machine called #playboy in their basement and start tinkering with it. Its childlike whimsy is conveyed in the song titles (“Getting the Hang of It,” “Wake Up Jam (Waking Up)”) every bit as much as it is in the music, with occasionally grating indulgences, the odd earworm and a brief appearance by borderless internet hip-hop hero Lil B that makes perfect sense in context; the kindred spirit of that community-building cult auteur is strong here. You may wind up loving this record or you may wind up hating it, but I can promise you this: You’ll be thinking about it and the artist behind it long after it’s over.

Patrick Masterson

Actress — Mad Voyage Mixtape (self-released)

I once suggested Darren Cunningham mucks about with his music because he can’t help himself. That was about six years ago on the occasion of his purported “final” album Untitled; with the benefit of hindsight, we can see he was (like so many others, to greater or lesser consequence) just pulling our leg with that PR. Hell, he’s released two albums worth of music in July alone: The first was the mid-month surprise LP 88, which follows in the vein of his acclaimed high period as an often brilliant, occasionally frustrating patchwork of submersible beats best played at high volume with a low end. The second came at the end of the month in an m4a file shared the old fashioned way on a forum via Mediafire link, nearly an hour and a half long, and per the man himself, “All SP-303, sketchbook beats, recorded this past week [the first week of July] straight to recorder or cassette.” It feels very much like a homespun Actress mixtape and is probably best thought of as livelier accompaniment to 88 but, even still, there’s no noticeable drop in quality — once Actress, always Actress. If headier lo-fi beat tapes are your beat, this will slot comfortably in line.

Patrick Masterson

bdrmm - Bedroom (Sonic Cathedral)

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Hull five-piece bdrmm play a satisfyingly crepuscular version of shoegaze on their debut album Bedroom. Ryan Smith, his brother Jordan on bass, guitarist Joe Vickers, Danny Hull on synths and drummer Luke Irvin combine the widescreen sound of Ride with a cloak of gothic post-punk. Like the late, lamented Girls Names, bdrmm find a sweet spot where atmosphere and dynamics either build to euphoric crescendos or bask in bleak funereal splendor. Bedroom seems deliberately sequenced from celebration to lament. “A Reason To Celebrate” evokes Ride at their most anthemic, the tripping staccato driven “Happy” summons the spirit of The Cure of Seventeen Seconds before the pace drops for the second half, the songs become quieter and darker as the band finds a more personal voice. “(The Silence)” is an ambient whispered wraith of a thing, “Forget The Credits” impressively mopey slowcore. bdrmm don’t always transcend their influences, but this debut is an atmospheric treat if your taste runs to the darker end of the musical buffet.

Andrew Forell

Circulatory System — Circulatory System (Elephant 6 Recording Co.)

Circulatory System by Circulatory System

Nearly 20 years after its initial release, the excellent eponymous debut album by Will Cullen Hart’s psychedelic chamber-pop band Circulatory System gets a long overdue vinyl reissue. While his previous project, the undeniably great Olivia Tremor Control, tended to lean more towards classic psych-pop’s traditional tropes — hard-panned drums, loads of disorientating tape effects, wonky harmonized vocals — Circulatory System taps into something utterly uncanny. Both Signal Morning (2009) and Mosaics Within Mosaics (2014) have their moments, but this is front-to-back brilliant, conjuring a sublime atmosphere of reflective estrangement. The music is a thick, grainy soup of shimmering instrumentation, from the eerie (“Joy,” “Now,” “Should a Cloud Replace a Compass?”) to the joyful (“Yesterday’s World,” “The Lovely Universe,” “Waves of Bark and Light”), but part of the album’s magic is the way everything flows into a seamless whole. As is vinyl’s tendency, the rhythm section really comes alive here, the fuzz bass and tom-heavy drum parts booming out, with plenty of vivid details in the mix swimming into view. A worthy reissue of an essential album.

Tim Clarke

Cloud Factory — #1 (Howlin’ Banana)

Cloud Factory #1 by Cloud Factory

Cloud Factory, from Toulouse, France, overlays the serrated edges of garage pop with a serene dream-pop drift. It’s an appealing mix of hard and soft, like being pummeled to death by pillows or threatened gunpoint by a teddy bear. “Amnesia,” for instance, erupts in a vicious, sawed off, trouble-making bass line, then soars from there in untroubled female vocals. Later, “No Data,” punches hard with raw percussion, then lays on a liquid, lucid guitar line that encourages middle-distance staring. None of these songs really up the ante with memorable melodies, sharp words or that intangible R’NR energy that distinguishes great punk rock from the so so. Not loud, not soft, not great, not bad. Cloud Factory resides in the indeterminant middle.

Jennifer Kelly

Entry �� Detriment (Southern Lord)

Detriment by Entry

Nuthin fancy here, folks. Just eight songs — plus a flexing, fuzzing intro — of American hardcore punk. Entry has been grinding away for a few years now, and Detriment doesn’t advance much past the musical terrain the band marked off on the No Relief 7-inch (2016). That’s OK. The essential formula is time tested: d-beat rhythms, overdriven amps and Sara G.’s ferocious vocals delivering the necessary affect. That would be: pissed off, just this side of hopeless. Detriment sounds like what might happen if Poison Idea (c. 1988) stumbled into a seminar on Riot Grrrl; after everyone got tired of beating the living shit out of one another, they’d make some songs. “Selective Empathy” is pretty representative. Big riffs, a breakdown, and more than enough throaty yelling to let you know that you’re in some trouble. You might recognize the sound of Clayton Stevens’ guitar from his work with Touché Amoré — but maybe it’s better if you don’t. This isn’t music for mopery. Watch out for the spit, snot and blood, and flip the record.

Jonathan Shaw

Equiknoxx — VF Live: Equiknoxx (The Vinyl Factory)

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There’s nothing like a little roots music to get you through the sweltering summer heat, and this early July mix by Gavin “Gavsborg” Blair (half of forward-thinking Kingston dancehall unit Equiknoxx) was a personal favorite of the past month for hitting that spot. The group tends to throw curveballs at the genres it tinkers with, and Blair’s mix highlights why they’re so good at it: The crates run deep. Spanning everything from legendary producer and DJ Prince Jazzbo to in-house music fresh out the box (e.g., “Did Not Make This For Jah_9” was released in late May), Blair sets the mood and educates you along the way. Like everything else these cats do (and that includes the NTS show — support your independent radio station!), it’s hard not to give the highest recommendation.

Patrick Masterson

Ezra Feinberg — Recumbent Speech (Related States)

Recumbent Speech by Ezra Feinberg

Knowing that Ezra Feinberg is a practicing psychoanalyst, it’s tempting to read meaning into the name of his second solo album. But be careful to think twice about the meaning you perceive and ask yourself, is it the product of Feinberg on the couch or your own projection? His choice to name one of the record’s six instrumentals (there are voices, but no words) “Letter To My Mind” certainly suggests that there’s an internal dialogue at work, but the music feels most like a layered deployment of good ideas than an exchange of intrapsychic forces. The synthesizers shimmer and cycle like something from a mid-1970s Cluster record, resting upon a pillow of vibraphone and electric piano tones, which in turn billow under the influence of undulating layers of drums. Feinberg’s guitar leads are bright and pithy, like something Pat Metheny might come up with if he knew he was going to have to pay a steep price for every note he played. Ah, but there I go, projecting an implication of adversary process where there may be none. Might it be that Feinberg, having spent a full work week immersed in the psychic conflicts of others, wants to lay back on the couch and exhale? If so, this album is an apt companion.

Bill Meyer

Honey Radar — Sing the Snow Away: The Chunklet Years (Chunklet)

Sing the Snow Away: The Chunklet Years by Honey Radar

Jason Henn of Honey Radar has a solid claim at being his generation’s Bob Pollard, a prolific, absurdist songwriter, who tosses off hooky melodies as if channeling them from the spirit world. His least polished material glints with melody hidden beneath banks of fuzz, whispery and fragile on records, but surprisingly muscular in his rocking live shows. This 28-song compilation assembles the singles, splits, EPs and bonus tracks Henn recorded for Chunklet between 2015 and the present; it would be a daunting amount of material except that it goes down like cotton candy, sweet, airy, colorful and gone before you know it. Like the Kinks, Henn has a way of making strident rock and roll hooks sound wistful and dreamy. In “Lilac Pharmacy,” guitar lines rip and buck and roar, but from a distance, hardly disrupting Henn’s placid murmur. “Medium Mary Todd” ratchets up the tension a bit, with a tangled snarl of lick and swagger, but the vocals edge towards quiet whimsy a la Sic Alps; a second version runs a bit hotter, rougher and more electric, while a third, recorded at WFMU, gives an inkling of the Honey Radar concert experience. A couple of fine covers — of the Fall’s early rant “Middle Class Revolt” and of the Monkees rarity “Wind-Up Man”— suggest the fine, loamy soil that Henn’s art grows out of, while alternate versions of half a dozen tracks hint at the various forms his ideas can take. It’s a wonderful overview of Honey Radar so far, though let’s hope it’s not a career retrospective. Henn has a bunch of records left to make yet if he wants to edge out Pollard.

Jennifer Kelly

Iron Wigs — Your Birthday’s Cancelled (Mello Music Group)

Your Birthday's Cancelled by IRON WIGS

As an adjective, “goofy” had gotten a bad rep in hip hop. Anything that is unusual, inventive and not in line with “keeping it real” is immediately stigmatized as goofy, weird, nerdy and bad. Iron Wigs is goofy but hold the pejorative connotations. Chicago representatives Vic Spencer and Verbal Kent team up here with Sonnyjim from the UK to do some wild rhyming. They collaborated before, but Your Birthday’s Cancelled is a complete, fully fleshed project, masterfully executed from start to finish. Instead of the usual gun busting you get a fist in the ribs. Instead of drug slinging, a blunt to activate your rhymes. Each member of the group has a distinctive delivery which makes you to listen carefully for every verse, no skipping. It’s a relief to listen to rap artists who don’t pretend they’re out in the streets while they’re at home enjoying a favorite TV series. The standout track here is “Bally Animals & Rugbys” with Roc Marciano dropping by for a verse.

Ray Garraty

Levinson / Mahlmeister — Shores (Trouble In Mind)

Shores by levinson / mahlmeister

Jamie Levinson and Donny Mahlmeister’s Bandcamp page indicates that they’re based in Oak Park, a suburb of Chicago. This goes further towards explaining their association with Trouble in Mind Records, which is located in the same county, than their music, which brings to mind something much further north. The duo’s music is mostly electronic, with modular synthesizers setting the pulse and sweeping the pitch spectrum while lap steel guitar adds flourishes and a shruti box thickens the textures. The album is split into two, with each track — one is named “Ascend,” the other “Release” — taking up one side of a 50-minute cassette. The first side trundles steadily onwards, and the second seems to bask in a glow to that never totally fades. Since there’s no “Descend,” it’s easy to imagine this music sound tracking a drive into the Canadian north, the journey unspooling under a sky that never darkens, its progress towards Hudson Bay unhindered by other traffic or turns in the road. Perhaps that’s just one listener’s fantasy of easy social distancing and escape from the present’s grim digital glare into a retro-futurist, analog dream. But in dreams we’re free to fly without being seated next to some knucklehead with his mask over his eyes instead of his mouth, so dream on, dreamers. This tape is volume one of the Explorers Series, Trouble in Mind’s projected program of limited edition cassette releases.

Bill Meyer

Klara Lewis — Ingrid (Editions Mego)

Klara Lewis’s latest recording shows a narrowing of focus. Previously she seemed to be trying ideas and methods on for size, investigating ambient electronics or hinting at pop melody without completely committing. Given the approach to music modeled by her father, Graham Lewis of Wire and Dome, she probably does not feel the need to do just one thing, and that’s a healthy angle if one wants to stay interested and flexible. But there’s also something to be said for really digging into an idea, and that’s what she has done here. Ingrid is a one-track, one-sided 12.” Burrowing further into one-ness, it is made from one looped cello phrase, which gets filtered and distorted on each pass. The effect suggests decay, but not so much the gradual transformation of a William Basinski piece as the pitiless abrasion of a woodworker going over a plank with sander. The combination of repetition and coarsening hits a spot closer to one that Tony Conrad might reach, and that’s an itch worth scratching.

Bill Meyer

Luis Lopes Humanization 4tet — Believe, Believe (Clean Feed)

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The cruel economics of contemporary creative music-making favor an ensemble like Humanization 4tet. At a minimum, the filial Texan rhythm section of Stefan and Aaron Gonzalez (drums and bass respectively) and Lisbon-based duo of Rodrigo Amado (tenor saxophone) and Luís Lopes can each count on having the other half of a band on the other side of the Atlantic. But any project that’s on its fourth record in a dozen years has more going for it than the chance to save on plane tickets. For the Portuguese musicians, it’s an opportunity to feel an unabashedly high-energy force at their backs, as well as a chance to drink from a deep well of harmolodic blues. And for the Gonzalez brothers, it’s the reward of being the absolute right guys for the job; it has to be a gas to know that the heft they put into their swing is so deeply appreciated. While Lopes’ name remains up front, everyone contributes compositions, and everyone gives their all on every tune.

Bill Meyer

Joanna Mattrey — Veiled (Relative Pitch)

Veiled by Joanna Mattrey

This solo CD, which closely follows a collaborative cassette on Astral Spirits, is only the second recording with Joanna Mattrey’s name on the spine. But Mattrey is no newcomer. The New England Conservatory-trained violist has been playing straight and pop gigs for a while. If you caught Chance the Rapper on Saturday Night Live, Cuddle Magic with strings or a host of classical gigs around New York City, you’ve seen her. But if black dress and heels gigs pay her bills, improvised music nourishes her heart. And if sounds raw enough to scrape the roof of the world nourish yours, this album is new food. The premise of Veiled is finding veins of concealed beauty concealed, and that search impels Mattrey to tune her viola to sound like a horse-haired Tuvan fiddle, clamp objects to the strings and blast her signal through some satisfyingly filthy amplification. And whether it’s a slender tune or a complex texture, the reward is always there.

Bill Meyer

Angel Olsen — “Whole New Mess” single (Jagjaguwar)

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Everyone processes a breakup differently (though, to be fair, that’s probably less true now than ever). For Angel Olsen in 2018, it meant retreating to The Unknown, a century-old church in Anacortes, Washington, that Mount Eerie’s Phil Elverum and producer Nicholas Wilbur made into a recording studio. What ultimately came from those sessions was All Mirrors, but Whole New Mess is a chance to revisit that album (fully nine of these 11 songs are ones you’ve heard before; only the title-track and “Waving, Smiling” are new) in a more intimate framework — just Angel, a guitar, a mic and her reverberant heartache. The most cynical view to be taken here is that it’s a stopgap capitalizing on people’s vulnerability amid a pandemic quarantine, but it could also be a corrective for the bloat of All Mirrors, a record I listened to once and haven’t thought about since. Late Björkian excess doesn’t suit her nearly as well as the light touch delivered herein, and your interest will similarly hinge on how much Whole New Mess sounds like the old one.

Patrick Masterson

Ono — Red Summer (American Dreams)

Red Summer by ONO

Ono, the long-running noise-punk-poetry-protest project headed by P Michael Grego and travis, tackles the Red Summer of 1919, evoking the brutal race riots that erupted as soldiers returned from World War I. During that summer, conflicts raged from Chicago to the deep south, as white supremacists rioted against newly empowered returning Black veterans and an increased number of Black factory workers employed in America’s northern factories. Ono captures the violence—and its links to contemporary race-based conflicts—in an abstract and visionary style, with travis declaiming against an agitated froth of avant garde sound. “A Dream of Sodomy” lurches and rolls in funk-punk bravado, as travis declaims all the nightmarish scenarios that haunt his nocturnal hours, while “Coon” natters rhythmically across a fever-lit foundation of hand-drums, mosquito buzz and flute. “26 June 1919” wanders through a blasted, rioting landscape, sounds buzzing and pinging and roaring around travis’ fractured poetry. “White men, red men, Manchester town, send ‘em home, Oklahoma, send ‘em home, in a Black man house, send ‘em home, send ‘em home,” he chants, ominously, vertiginously. The center isn’t holding, for sure. The disc closes with the uneasy truce of “Sycamore Trees,” where steam blasts of synthesizer sound rush up and around travis’ vibrating, basso verses about meeting under the sycamore trees, a metaphor like the blues and gospel and nearly all Black music is full of metaphor about reuniting in a better place. Powerful.

Jennifer Kelly

Julian Taylor — The Ridge (Howling Turtle, Inc.)

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Singer-songwriter Julian Taylor does the little things well. That's not to say that he doesn't do the obvious things well, too, on his latest release The Ridge. His easy voice fits his songs, letting autobiography come with comfortable phrasing. As a writer, he tends toward the straightforward, avoiding extended metaphors or oblique references. The title track considers a particular form of life, and Taylor sticks to the tangible, singing about the stable, “Shovel manure, clean their beds, and prepare the feed for the day.” Taylor's songs make sense of the immediate world and relationships around him, but they avoid woolgathering. The album feels a bit removed from the current climate, but that's no complaint when Taylor's developed a welcoming place to visit. It isn't always easy here, but it's always companionable.

But back to those little things. Each song has carefully detailed orchestration and production. The record goes down easy whether tending toward James Taylor, Cat Stevens or something closer to country, and much of that easiness comes from the precise placement of every note. Burke Carroll's pedal steel, for instance, never exists for its own sake, but to serve the lyric that Taylor sings. The album contains enough space to feel like a rural Canadian ridge, with details drawn into to support Taylor's direct stories. The Ridge could easily go unnoticed (unobtrusiveness not being a highly rewarded trait), but its subtlety and care make it worth taking your boots off and sitting down for a minute.

Justin Cober-Lake

Various Artists — For a Better Tomorrow (Garden Portal)

For A Better Tomorrow by Various Artists

Compilation albums loom large in the American Primitive Guitar realm. Takoma, Tompkins Square and Locust all had larger ambitions than merely offering a sampling of wares, and to them, Garden Portal says, “hold my beer. I’ve got some collecting and playing to do.” For A Better Tomorrow started out as a Bernie Sanders fundraising endeavor. But when Bernie bailed and COVID-19 came on the scene, Garden Portal pivoted to support Athens Mutual Aid Network, an umbrella organization that coordinates aid to the underserved in this trying time. But in addition to good works, there’s some good work going on here. Not all of it is guitar-centric, but even the tracks that aren’t are close enough to the strings and heart template of the aforementioned parties to merit consideration under the same rubric. Joseph Allred’s been ultra-productive recently, so it’s actually helpful to be reminded of the spirit that infuses his playing by listening to it one track at a time. Rob Noyes’ “Diminished” takes the listener on a deep dive into the construction of sentiment and sound. And Will Csorba’s Pelt-like blast of fiddle drone, “Requiem for Ociel Guadalupe Martinez,” will put your hair up high enough to make that self-inflicted quarantine do a bit easier to execute.

Bill Meyer

Various Artists — The Storehouse Presents (The Storehouse)

The Storehouse Presents by The Storehouse

The coronavirus pandemic put the brakes on many things. You doubtless have your own list of loss, but for the proprietors of The Storehouse, the catalog of things kissed goodbye directly corresponds to their endeavor’s inventory of reasons to be. Over the past few years, the Storehouse has invited audiences out to a West Michigan farmhouse to enjoy a potluck meal and a concert played by some musicians of note. If there had been no lockdown, listeners could have enjoyed the Sun Ra Arkestra last April. Instead, no one’s playing, and no one’s getting paid, so the Storehouse has compiled this set of live and exclusive studio tracks to sell on Bandcamp in order to benefit the musicians and the Music Maker Relief Foundation. The cause, is good, but so are the tunes. Want to hear Steve Gunn and William Tyler in sympathetic orbit? Or Joan Shelley pledging her love? Or the first hints of Mind Over Mirrors’ new direction? Step right this way, preferably on one of 2020’s first Fridays.

Bill Meyer

Z-Ro — Rohammad Ali (1 Deep Entertainment / Empire)

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On one of his previous tracks, Z-Ro admitted that he’s basically just writing the same song over and over again (that’s how meta he is now, writing songs on writing songs). While he exaggerated a bit, he was not that far from the truth. In the last half dozen years he’s been writing the same three or four songs in various combinations, reconfigurations and forms. Rohammad Ali follows the same template: haters hate him, but he’s OK and is counting his money. Multiply this by 17, and here is the album. Despite this self-cannibalizing (lots of poets did that), Z-Ro with every new album sounds fresh and far from tired. The self-repeats just fuel him. Rohammad Ali has only one rap guest, and it’s Shaquille O’Neal whose rap career didn’t jump off in the 1990s. A lack of guests only proves that Z-Ro can self-sustain without support from the outside. The only thing from the outside he needs is hate.

Ray Garraty

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brynnmck · 4 years

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Shipping post game

Tagged by @pretty--thief, thank you!!

Rules: tag 9 people you’d like to know better

Top 3 Ships

I’m bad at choosing favorites, but in no particular order...

1. Jaime/Brienne, GoT/ASOIAF

LISTEN. I was wholly unprepared for this pairing that is DIABOLICALLY MY THING to show up in the midst of a canon that contains so many things that are very powerfully Not My Thing. (I am a delicate flower! I have very limited tolerance for bleakness and brutality! AND YET HERE THESE TWO FOOLS ARE.) Can I tell you about one of my very most favorite character types, which is the Genuinely Good Person who just doggedly, patiently, fiercely, compassionately tries to make the world a better place and do the right thing even when the world makes it really difficult for them? Yeah. Oh and how about one of my other favorite character types, the disaster with all the feelings who is ALSO trying very hard to get their shit together and do the right thing even though they have no idea what they’re doing most of the time? YEP. Oh what’s that you say, also they snark and banter a lot, profoundly respect and admire each other, see and appreciate and understand things about each other that most people don’t see, have repeatedly risked their lives for each other and stood up for each other, drive each other crazy in the best way, pine for each other but are too chickenshit to admit it, AND THEY FALL IN LOVE ON A DAMN ROADTRIP????? I had no chance. UGH.

2. Benton Fraser/Ray Vecchio, due South (with honorable mention to Vecchio/Kowalski and Fraser/Vecchio/Kowalski, which I also wrote a LOT of)

(One of the many injustices of the world is the dearth of easily accessible, good Fraser/Vecchio gifs/images on this internet.) Basically I could mostly copy @ajoblotofjunk‘s answer here, lol. But I love partnerships, and best friends who fall in love, and these two are so damn weird about each other from the very beginning, it’s so beautiful. Fraser is also a classic Good Person who is determined to transform the world around him by sheer force of will, and Vecchio is more jaded but he loves SO HARD--I swear Ray Vecchio has one of the biggest hearts in all of fiction. And they make each other laugh (even when they won’t admit it), and they learn from each other, and they believe in each other, and together they’re better than they are separately, when Fraser’s done with his day of taking care of everyone else in the damn world, Vecchio is right there to take care of Fraser, and I DIE. Also there’s an episode where their LITERAL HEARTBEATS ARE LITERALLY CONNECTED. I love them, and even though it ended pretty rough, I loved 99% of my time in that fandom--wrote so much, learned so much, organized so much, met some of my very favorite people--and I’m so glad to have been in it.

3. Lee Adama/Kara Thrace, Battlestar Galactica (2003)

It has been over 10 years and I can still summon a FULL rage spiral about this trash fire of a show in approximately three seconds, and for a while I thought everything about it might be ruined for me, but fortunately I have managed to keep my enormous love for these two despite how the writers ultimately treated them (and almost every other character) like absolute shit. Again: a justice-y one whose still waters run deep and a feelings-driven fuckup who’s trying (there is a reason I have seen more than one familiar name from this fandom in J/B fandom!), soooooo much banter and snark, bone-deep loyalty and love and friendship and history and PINING and sparking and clicking with each other in all the most fascinating ways. Shout-out to canon for having them get together multiple times in THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE and rarely letting them be functional in any long-term way despite illustrating repeatedly that they very very clearly could and should have been had anyone in that world been allowed to be happy for more than ten seconds (UNLESS YOU’RE GAIUS BALTAR GOD I’M STILL SO MAD). Anyway. I wrote some of my favorite fics for this fandom, met some wonderful people, can still fall down a deep well of feelings about these two at the slightest provocation, and I’m so glad that the show ended after the middle of S2!

Last Song You Listened To

Hmmm. I’ve had the Local Strangers’ Solid Ground in my head all day, which I am into as a J/B song even though it doesn’t QUITE fit but it also really kinda does.

Last Movie You Watched

I’m not great at movies. I think probably Rise of Skywalker? And I have tickets to see Birds of Prey next Tuesday and I’m SUPER excited about that.

Reading

Currently I’m mostly reading the eight trillion words of amazing fic y’all are churning out on the regular! Next up on my list of published books are Kate Clayborn’s Love Lettering and Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want To Talk About Race.

Last thing you ate

I had a few peanut butter stuffed pretzels earlier, and I’m about to go get a tasty soft taco and a latte.

Tagging

I can’t remember who’s done this already, so if you haven’t and you’d like to, please consider yourself tagged! And @ me when you post, if you want, I’d love to read it!

#memeing

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wheremytwinwatches · 4 years

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 3

Time for more Brotherhood! When we last left off, we got the backstory on the Elric Brothers, and they were off to investigate rumors of ‘miracles’ by a priest that I don’t think is quite on the up and up, given all the oh-so-subtle “THIS IS A BAD GUY” clues in the last post-credits. But hey, I’ve been wrong before. Let’s get started!

Hmm. Same “Alchemy 101” intro from last episode, should I count the mention of “Equivalent Exchange” here if this shows up each time? I’m happy just spotting it in normal dialogue, but I’ll leave it up to you guys if I should include this mention. Urgh, seeing smiling Mama Elric is still a kick in the gut. Still don’t know some of the characters here, but looking forward to meeting them. Maybe not the Goths so much. We’re at the town! And there’s a [Radio Voice]? Is this the (corrupt) priest? Who… huh, he’s preaching about the “Sun God Leto”. This the primary religion in this setting, or just one guy who’s all “Praise the Sun!” NPC Shopkeeper is asking if the Elrics are street performers in their getups. Gotta admit, Al’s pulling off an impressive loom here, leaning on the counter. “Street performer” wouldn’t be my first guess looking at the giant fanged suit of armor. Ed in his red cloak, however… yeah, gotta side with NPC Shopkeeper here. And really Ed, what did you expect? Why would he ask if you were a carny unless he thought you might be? Oops! Watch your head, Al! Don’t break the poor guy’s radio! Well, that’s smashed. But nothing a little Alchemy can’t fix, right? [Energetic Strings] as Al preps the TC, and a crowd of curious villagers are looking on. And tada, good as new! Smug Ed is proud of- “Amazing, it’s a miracle! You’ve been touched by the Sun God, just like Father Cornello!” No no, it’s alchemy! But to their credit, the villagers come around quickly at the mention of the Elric Brothers, are pleased to meet… *sigh*. Saw that coming a mile away. Wavy-armed Al has to correct his well-meaning friends, point out the “little guy”. Who does not appreciate the running gag. Episode 03: “City of Heresy” So now that that little misunderstanding is out of the way, Ed asks the now-terrified villagers about the voice on the radio. Shopkeep and [Man 1] talk about their leader Father Cornello, who came into town with some pretty big claims, up to bringing the dead back to life. Ed says that’s something he needs to see. And here’s the priest, smiling to a huge crowd of cheering villagers as glowing roses rain from the sky. On of his miracles? And the crowd goes nuts as he catches one of them, and then a bright red glow later it’s a large crystal? Not sure what he just did, but something about that shade of red… just didn’t seem that wholesome to me. Again, trying to reserve judgement, but not getting the best impression of you right now, Father. The Brothers are watching the show, Al says that there’s no doubt it’s alchemy. But somehow he’s ignoring the Law of Equivalent Exchange? EEC: 4 Oh, I see! Normal rules would be that you can’t add mass or change organic matter into inorganic, but here he is catching a rosebud and making a great big crystal statue. And you can’t do that, unless… But that ring on his finger can’t really be a Philosopher’s Stone, could it? That’s like the end-all of this magic system. I could buy one showing up earlyish in this series, but the third episode? Let alone as a tool of a minor villain. Heck, either the Goths or the Government should have already swooped in and taken this, no sane power-block would let such an artifact remain out of their control for long. Anyways, inside the chapel a lady with striking red highlights is praying for “him” to be brought back, when Ed and Al show up. Lady, who captions have named Rose, asks if they are interested in Letoism. So she works for Cornello? Or just a religious villager? But nah, Ed says he’s not really the “religious” type. Given we’ve seen him encounter a demon who claimed to be God, I can understand his position. Rose is sorry to hear that, saying that to know God is to know hope, that through divine grace all things are possible. I’d rather not have religion get pulled into this Watch, but I can- “If you believed… I’m sure Leto would bless you and make you grow taller!” ...wow, ok then. I’m just gonna put away my heartfelt religion discussion, and just sit back and laugh at Al holding Ed back. Come on dude, she’s so sincere she’s got “Sincere” above her head! Don’t hate the messenger! Anyways, back to the topic at hand. How’s about this “bringing the dead back to life” business, does Rose believe in that as well? She does, and in the face of so much optimism Ed just pulls out a ratty notebook and starts reciting… chemical compositions… oh dear. Yeah, Rose has no idea what all this chemistry is about. Ed hunches over, talking about how the chemical composition of the human body has been calculated down to the last microgram, but still no successful human transmutations. And here Rose is saying that they can do with prayer something that modern science can’t do? Rose starts reciting scripture… and Ed holds no punches, explaining any kid could buy those ingredients down at the market for pocket change. “As it turns out humans are pretty cheap.” Hoo boy. This is turning into a proper religion v. science slugfest, isn’t it? And I really, REALLY don’t want to open up that particular can of worms on the Internet, but… Ed’s saying that Alchemists are scientists, they don’t believe in unprovable concepts like creators or gods. And heck, with the progress of science they’ve gotten the power to play gods themselves… Rose takes offense to this sheer arrogance. And Ed… brings up the myth of Icarus? Oooh, topical, isn’t it. About how someone flew too close to the sun and came crashing back down to earth. Al… Ed jumps up and asks if Father Cornello could save an arrogant scientist like him, which Rose jumps upon. *Sigh* Rose isn’t going to have a good time this episode, is she? Higher in the chapel, someone named Cray is talking to Father Cornello, saying a child and a man in a suit of armor wish to see him. Cornello is scowling out the window, says he can’t be bothered right now and to send them away. What’s the trouble, Father? But then he recognizes the Elric name, and- Oooh! Bad Father, you just swore in church! Both men are upset at realizing that the Fullmetal Alchemist (“The man in the armor?” “Dressing the part, it would seem.” Ha!) has come calling? Oh wow you guys are definitely bad, scowling and muttering about your “plans” to ominous string music. It seems Cray is leading the Elrics now, saying that they’re in luck, he can spare a moment of his time. Ed says they won’t take too much, and Cray- gun! Brother Cray has pulled a gun… and is pointing it at Al, while two guys in robes with staves block Ed. Yeah, not too worried about this, although Rose is. Cray claims that they are evil heathens come to discredit the Father, to which Ed agrees to make it quick and instantly takes down the Robes. And Armor Punch to the unfortunate Cray’s face! Father Cornello emerges from the shadows, welcoming them to the hope of their ‘sacred order’ and “apologizing for his disciples’ behavior”. Ed doesn’t buy it for a second, demanding to know how Cornello has been using Alchemy to deceive the villagers. Cornello claims that it’s the work of Leto, creating a statue in his hands as proof of something Alchemy couldn’t do. And Ed agrees, saying he didn’t get how he could just ignore the Law of Equivalent Exchange. EEC: 5 Poor Rose, looking back and forth between the increasingly irate Father Cornello and the angry Edward, who calls out Cornello’s ring as a Philosopher’s Stone. Cornello keeps claiming to be “God’s humble servant”, so Ed says he’ll just have to beat the Truth out of him. Cornello… what. Dude. Dude, NO. That is messed up. Cornello just told Rose to pick up the fallen gun. And then shoot the Fullmetal Alchemist. Thankfully Rose is shocked at that order, says she can’t do that. But Cornello says that his word is that of Leto himself, and finally opens one eye to look down on them. “Shoot him, Rose. It’s God’s will.” Bad Father, very very bad Father! Rose? Rose, honey, please put down the gun. Aw crud, and now Cornello’s bringing up the loss of her fiance, reminding her of a promise; if she had faith, he’d bring him back to life. And with that, she’s pointed the gun at… Al. Ok, that’s ok, we can work with aw damnit Al shut up! You’re the suit of armor, take the name for just a few minutes! And oh my god Ed just shut up shut up stop getting pissed that people keep mistaking your brother for you. “Person about to shoot the Fullmetal Alchemist” is not the time to insist that you’re the Fullmetal Alchemist! And aw crud, Cornello’s shocked that it’s “the short one”. You dun goofed. Ok, back to the gun. Rose is apologizing, saying she has no choice. Ed tries to convince her that Cornello’s been lying, but she’s still believing in the Father’s “miracles”. So Ed tells her to shoot, and- Al! Rose fired blindly and hit Al’s helmet! On the one hand, impressive shot if it had been intentional. On the other hand, what the hell Rose?! Rose rightfully drops the gun in shock and starts screaming, Cornello smugly says that “God Leto is pleased”. And then tells her to pick the gun back up and shoot the other as well. And then the headless suit of armor sits back up and chides Cornello for making her do enough already! Ha! Take that, fake priest! [Exciting Music] starts up as Cornello blathers about Al being an abomination, how the ‘evil’ must be purged… and pulls a switch? Gah, manticore! Manticores are a thing in this setting! Cornello says his chimera should be up to the task. Or not a manticore? In the light it looks like the front half of a lion, and the back half of a rat. Edward calmly summons a spear, further shocking Cornello at the lack of a TC. But… ooh, the chimera just sliced right through the weapon. Seems the claws are sharp enough to “tear through iron”. Maybe Al should step back? Ah, nevermind. Ed’s pants may have been shredded, but the chimera’s claws didn’t do jack against his steel automail leg. And a bite attack likewise failed against his automail arm. And the pieces finally click into place for Cornello… wait, hold on. This seems really familiar for some reason… didn’t we just go through all this two episodes ago? Yeah, we did! This is almost word for word from Ep 1! Failed attack against an automail limb, Al getting his head knocked off, bad guy smugly accusing them of breaking the “No Human Transmutation” rule… you guys were saying this was the first proper episode in the manga, right? How Brotherhood’s first episode was mostly to show off the characters, and they put all the backstory into the second? Not saying this is bad or anything, just figured I should mention it. Poor, poor Rose. You’ve had a rough day, haven’t you? And good grief Cornello shut up, stop blathering about their attempting human transmutation. I don’t know exactly why you’re evil, beyond your earlier attempts to kill these boys for getting too close to your “plans”, but you are not helping your case right now. Yup, there it is, you just insulted their arrogance for trying to bring someone dead back to life. Remind me, what was your promise to Rose? Al plaintively asks for Cornello to hand over the stone before he gets hurt. It goes over about as well as you could expect, Transmuting his cane into a good grief is that a minigun? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are a terrible priest! Ed blocks the shots with Earthbending, boasting about he and God don’t get along very well, as Al swoops up Rose and gets her out of the line of fire. Or not really, because Cornello takes aim at them and starts blasting away, Rose only protected by Al’s bulk. And Ed… ha! Ignores the door and Transmutes a new one to get past the hapless disciples, and the brothers prance off down the hallway as gun-toting Father Cornello runs out and orders them to chase. Brothers are running along, but a couple of disciples have blocked off the end of the hallway, saying that’s far enough. Ed just laughs and goes full Alex Mercer on them. Disciple Group #2 are waiting in the wings… and their boss gets a Armor Boot to the face. Next! Now they’re… up in the clocktower? Al’s doing something to the bell, talking to Rose who is understandably upset. Al says that they aren’t evil. They just wanted to see their mom’s smile again. And guh guh don’t show that Thing again get it away, we already know it failed don’t show us again. Al goes on to talk about how Alchemy’s based on the Law of Equivalent Exchange- EEC: 6 -and how the price of their failed attempt was enormous, costing Ed his left leg and Al his entire body. And then Ed gave up his arm to bind Al to the armor. Now they’re on a mission, Al to restore Ed to his original body, and Ed to do likewise to Al. It won’t be easy, but it’s the path they chose. All they can do is keep moving. And here’s the sticking point, Cornello’s “promise” to Rose. And true to her optimism, she still has hope, going so far as to say that even if the Elrics failed, that doesn’t mean he will. Poor, poor Rose. Back inside, Cornello runs past a room… and then looks back in, finding Ed sitting on a desk. Cornello’s office? Ed seems confident, is he planning something? Wait, what? “Tell me what I need to know and I’ll be on my way... “ Cornello. Cornello, buddy, tell me you aren’t going to fall for that… oh my Sun God, really? You can’t seriously believe after all you’ve done that Ed will just walk away after a few questions. He’s obviously stalling for whatever Al was doing. *Sigh* Fine, whatever. What’s your deal, Cornello? Why waste time with these phony ‘miracles’ when you can ignore Equivalent Exchange? Oh? So you’re attracting disciples with your ‘miracles’, building an army of fanatics? As unimpressed as Ed is, it’s not actually the worst plan. Why do everything yourself when you can convince some schmucks to do it for you? I mean, they won’t last a second against the State Alchemists, but whatever. Although it’s still not answering the question of “why”. Why do you need an army? Why do you want to use the Philosopher’s Stone to “tear the country apart”? Heck, ignoring your stupid offering of a ‘slice’ of the country to Ed (do you really think he’d go for that?), I still want to know how you got a Philosopher’s Stone, and why someone smarter hasn’t beaten you up for it already. Alright, whatever. [evil laughter], glowing white eyes, cast in shadow. Are you done monologuing? Because it’s probably time for Al to come busting down the door or whatever. “Wait, what are you laughing about?” You, dude. You are just cartoonishly evil. You got nothing on Mr. Freeze. See, Ed’s even calling you a novice! Evil Overlord List, Cornello. Read it. Wait, what? “On”? No. YES. YES. On Switch + Microphone = Dawning Realization the Radio Transmitter was turned on, plugged into the Church Bell Transmuted into a Loudspeaker. “There were never any miracles, Rose…” Shut up Al don’t ruin this moment for me! Ok, moment slightly redeemed by the “Are you f*cking kidding me” looks on the disciples’ faces. Here I was thinking Ed was recording it maybe, delaying for Al to show up and knock his teeth out? But transmitting Cornello’s monologue over the entire town? Genius. I am standing up and applauding, I am not even kidding. Oh man, these reaction cuts are gold, NPC Shopkeeper in particular looks pissed. Even the dog is shocked! Ok, ok. Give me a second to breathe… Just give it up, Cornello. You aren’t talking your way out of this one. And stop trying to fight, Ed way outclasses you. And… ouch, your Transmutation on your damaged gun just failed, looks like it melded with your arm? A rebound, like the failed Human Transmutation? Yep, Cornello’s lost it, yelling about being the ‘chosen emissary of the Sun God Leto’. Cut to the chapel, and Hulk-Cornello just smashed through. They’re smashing the place up, Cornello still ranting about being the Fist of God (does he really believe in Leto?), to which Ed Transmutes the great big statue to give him what he asked for. And Cornello’s down, like the half-baked villain he is. Now Ed can grab the… Philosopher’s Stone? It just stopped glowing and fell to the ground before dissolving. I mean, way too early for Ed to get the Quest Item, but still. Ed’s all shocked, saying the Stone is supposed to be the perfect material. So it was fake? But then how did Cornello do all that? Speaking of, the guy is just whining and whimpering now that he apparently can’t Transmute anymore. And Ed just… lets him go, yells at him to get out of there? Dude, arrest him! Guy was brainwashing a village, tried to have you killed, and was working to take over the country (no way he would have succeeded, but still). Don’t just let him get away! But apparently he does, it’s later as the Elric Brothers are talking outside the chapel. Come on, perk up guys. Just because this was a dead end- Rose, what the hell?! Put the gun down! Didn’t you hear him, it was a fake! And whoa, accusing them of keeping it for themselves? To get their bodies back, and bring back- Oh. Huh. Apparently that’s not even a consideration. “People don’t come back from the dead, Rose. Not ever… Not ever…” So, it really is just a quest to get their bodies back? Not to bring back Mama Elric? Rose collapses, crying about how Cornello promised her, that if she was faithful a miracle would occur. Without that hope, what is she supposed to believe in now? She’s begging them, asking what to do… and the Brothers walk right by her. Dudes, not cool. Don’t just leave her like this. “I can’t tell you that. You have to figure it out. Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. You’ve got two good legs. So use them. You’re strong enough to make your own path.” ...while I admire the intent behind the message (and is this the show that Monty Oum’s catchphrase of “Keep moving forward” came from?), I can’t help but think that this isn’t he best time. Rose has just had her world destroyed, the source of her faith uprooted, the hope of getting her fiance back shattered. She needs something a little more gentle than “suck it up”. Later that night, seems the entire village has gathered, the [angry mob yelling] for Cornello. Inside the chapel, Cornello is clutching his new metal arm and ranting about the little brat… until another voice interrupts him? Lust? The lady’s complaining that they should have just incited a rebellion, while the fat guy chews on one of the chimera’s legs, then says he’s hungry and asks to eat the old man. Lust tells Gluttony no, she doesn’t want to risk indigestion. Cornello does not appreciate being mocked, says he won't SWEET LETO WHAT THE HELL Um, so Lust apparently has Terminator 2 claws on her glove, just stabbed Cornello through the forehead. Camera pans to an ouroboros-like symbol above her bust? Anyways, Cornello dead. Lust complains about ‘Father’ not being pleased about starting from scratch- Gluttony? Gluttony, no. Gluttony NO. No eating him. Don’t you- Ok, didn’t not need to see that. Well ok! Good episode, some parts seemed a little bit repetitive, drawn from the previous two I guess? But good overall, more establishment of the Elrics and setting stuff up for future episodes. So what’s up next? Riza! Doing paperwork! Seems the Elrics travel to the Eastern Command Center and to report to Colonel Roy Mustang (name is still manly). And there they meet the Sewing Life Alchemist? Oh, so bio-alchemy’s a thing? I guess with the divide between organic and inorganic matter, with all the Earth and Waterbending we’ve seen so far time to see the other side. And will this get us details on that chimera that Cornello made? Oh hey, is that a Cerberus? Looks like a three-headed dog in a cage, captured experiment or what? Episode 04: “An Alchemist’s Anguish” “Some meetings in this life are destined only for heartbreak.”

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranubis #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 3

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flibbertigiblet · 5 years

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Episode 1: FORESHADOWING GALORE

Was it a perfect episode? No. The pacing is still a bit iffy, the dialogue bland, and important scenes felt rushed/undeveloped. But did it give me hope and/or satisfaction? Yes. Light on action, but heavy on foreshadowing, this episode lays the groundwork for three of our favorite theories – Dark!Dany, Political!Jon, and Jonsa.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I never thought that we would get all our theories openly confirmed in the first episode. The showrunners are giving us the last moments of calm before the storm, and it makes sense that they allow the viewers to enjoy Jon’s homecoming and the various reunions between several beloved characters before they hit us with the major twists those theories entail. What they do instead is pepper the episode with strong hints of these outcomes. In this post, I’ll be highlighting the plot points and dialogue that support these theories, rather than going through the premiere scene by scene.

Let’s jump right into it. This is a long one.

Arrival at Winterfell

After a heartfelt hug with Bran (and thank the gods that we finally get a semblance of humanity from the Three-Eyed Raven in this), Jon turns to Sansa, who had been watching their reunion with a small but fond smile on her face. As Jon rears up to embrace his “sister”, the camera makes sure to cut away from them to focus on Daenerys and Jorah, watching them from a distance. Bran is kept in frame, observing their reactions. Sansa too, turns her gaze on the newcomers, even as she wraps her arms around Jon.

I will admit to being disappointed that the reunion hug between Jon and Sansa was much briefer and less intense than what we got in the HBO trailer, but in retrospect, that fact makes me go “hmm”. After all, they chose that particular sequence to be the first and only snippet from S8 to show in that trailer, despite the episode’s truncated version of the hug (or any other scene from the season, really) being a possible option. A photo of this scene shot from yet another angle from a Spanish(?) publication was circulating the internet only days ago. D&D want us to pay special attention to the relationship between Jon and Sansa.

Podrick Dany certainly is.

Dany and Sansa eye each other from across the courtyard, before the former approaches the Starks. As Lyanna Mormont and Lord Royce stare at her with suspicion, Jon makes introductions.

“My sister, Sansa Stark, the Lady of Winterfell.”

“Thank you for inviting us into your home, Lady Stark,” Daenerys says with a fixed smile. “The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed, as are you.” (You know, one way of interpreting this line was that it was Jon who told Dany that Sansa is beautiful. Because, well. She is.)

Sansa is not impressed by the transparent attempt at flattery. She looks Dany up and down and leans back slightly in thinly-veiled disdain, but her words and voice are perfectly civil. “Winterfell is yours, your Grace.” Take note: neither she nor anyone else in the courtyard bends the knee to their would-be queen.

Daenerys doesn’t buy Sansa’s act for a second, but Bran doesn’t have time for this catfight and tells everyone what’s what. The Wall has fallen, and the Army of the Dead (+ dragon) are marching to Winterfell. That sobers them up quickly.

Meeting the Lords

Everyone is gathered in the Great Hall. Pay attention to the framing. At the head table, Sansa has been relegated to Jon’s right, where Davos, as the Hand of the King, used to sit. Daenerys has taken up Sansa’s former seat to his left, where the Lady of Winterfell typically sits. In this first shot, however, Dany is standing by the fireplace, leaving a visual and metaphorical gap between the Northern pair and Team Dany, represented by Tyrion, who is seated at the far end of the table.

As acting leader of Winterfell, Sansa is the one running the meeting. She establishes the fact that she has called on all the banners to retreat to Winterfell, and asks for an update from Lord Umber, last of that once-mighty House. A young boy no older than Bran was in season 1 pops his head out from behind one of the nameless Lords. He is small, and cute, and has been singled out by the script, so clearly he is doomed.

He addresses first Sansa - “We need more horses and wagons, my Lady,” – then Jon – “and my Lord,” – who flashes him a quick smile – “and my Queen.” – and only then Daenerys, who does not love being third on this list. “Sorry,” apologizes awkwardly. His business is sorted out, and he is sent off.

Jon instructs Maester Wolkan to send ravens to the Night’s Watch to summon them to Winterfell. “At once, Your Grace,” says the man, out of habit, probably, but it’s all the excuse Lyanna Mormont needs to stand up to sass Jon for renouncing his crown (mostly because D&D have designated her the improbable mouthpiece of the North and have not bothered to introduce us to any of the other lords).

Jon tries to make his case, but nobody is convinced, not even when Tyrion tags himself in. As he tries to sway the Northern lords, the camera cuts to the other three – Jon in between the two women, Stark and Targaryen, black and white. They really couldn’t be more obvious about the symbolism here, but in case you missed it, the showrunners give us more evidence that we’re not about to get The Hair Braiding That Was Promised.

Sansa is facing the lords, addressing Tyrion, but is clearly speaking to Daenerys when she asks just how Winterfell is supposed to feed Team Dany’s massive armies and the dragons. Like the responsible leader that she is – take notes, kiddos – Sansa had spent the past few months stockpiling supplies to help her people through winter. Was the North expected to support these newcomers too? “What do dragons eat, anyway?”

“Whatever they want,” says Dany.

The two women look at each other with no further pretense at friendliness. Battle lines have been drawn.

(Jon sits there, pretending not to notice.)

A Proposed Proposal

Davos, Varys and Tyrion are discussing how to salvage the alliance between their respective sides. Davos tells the others that Northerners do not trust easily, that this trust needs to be earned. But he is hopeful that it can happen. “On the off chance that we survive the Night King, what if the Seven Kingdoms, for once in their whole shit history, were ruled by a just woman and an honorable man?”

He is talking about a possible marriage between Jon and Dany, but at this point the audience knows the truth of their relationship, and by the end of the episode – spoiler – Jon does too. Whether or not the GA realizes it yet, this makes the conversation equally applicable to the Jonsa side of the triangle.

Plus, le gasp! A Stark-Targaryen marriage? How dreadfully romantic.*

*Okay, I am actually strongly anti-Rhaegar, but the show plays them as some kind of grand romantic pairing so I will try to contain my antipathy for the purposes of this review.

A Darker Turn

Down at the courtyard, Daenerys is feeling somewhat put upon.

“Your sister doesn’t like me.”

Jon tries to mollify her. “She doesn’t know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t like me either when we were growing up.”

“She doesn’t need to be my friend. But I am her queen. If she can’t respect me…”

WHAT, DANY? IF SANSA CAN’T RESPECT YOU, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

We’ve been saying it for a long while now, but guys. Dark!Dany is coming. While certain elements of the fandom persist in denying the obvious trajectory of her character arc, the foreboding undertone of this line is hard to ignore. What made this even more chilling was that she said this to Jon, a member of her family, who doesn’t yet know at this point in the episode what Dany’s extreme reaction tends to be for insubordination.

(Oh, but we know.)

When Sam learns of what Daenerys did to his father and brother, he could barely hold it together long enough to excuse himself from her presence before falling apart. Despite what Dany stans would have you think, this is a perfectly human and normal reaction to hearing such dreadful news. Also human and understandable? Mistrusting the kind of ruler who would execute a man for not bending the knee. Especially since Sam has personally seen a more humane sort of leadership before in Jon, who he later urges to take up his birthright as the true heir to the Iron Throne.

Other metas have discussed Dany’s approach to leadership and her increasingly draconian (an apt word, no?) attitude towards what she feels is her rightful position as Queen of the 7K. That she can and will take what is hers. A sense of entitlement not dissimilar to that which she attributed to her dragons earlier in that public display which did not endear her to her Northern subjects…

Side note: We’ve seen the indiscriminate destruction that an unchecked dragon can reap before when one of them – then only half-grown – killed the young daughter of a goatherd in Meereen. We even received a handy reminder of this straight from the mouth of Dany’s staunchest supporter and ally only in the episode before this one: “Dragons don’t understand the difference between what is theirs and what isn’t. Land, livestock, children…letting them roam free around the city was a problem.” – Jorah Mormont, S07E07.

And because it hasn’t been hammered into our heads enough, we are reminded of this again later on, when her Dothraki riders list exactly how much her dragons had consumed just that same day (“only eighteen goats and eleven sheep”, which apparently means “the dragons are barely eating”). This is followed by a powerful shot of said dragons surrounded by the charred bones of the livestock that could have fed dozens of people.

The same people who cowered as the dragons flew over Mole’s Town, and whose fear she appeared to relish.

Foreshadowing much?

That Dragon Flying Scene

Oh boy. I’ll be honest. I wasn’t excited to see this one at all. In the end it was both more and less awful than I imagined it would be. The dragon riding scene is bound to be controversial. Thrilling to some, pandering of the worst kind to others. To me, it smacks of fanservice, but let’s give the show the benefit of the doubt and try to parse its storytelling purpose in the greater scheme of things.

Despite Daenerys’ unsubtle threat towards Sansa in the previous scene – which Jon was conveniently prevented from addressing due to the interruption of the Dothraki – and the sight of Drogon and Rhaegal apparently sulking whilst surrounded by the remains of the food they are “barely eating”, the showrunners made the odd decision to play this scene with a note of levity.

Out of nowhere, Dany oh-so-casually encourages her lover to try riding her dragon, a foolhardy decision based on what, exactly? The one time Jon had a moment with one of her “gorgeous beast(s)”? Dany teases him about his initial reluctance, and laughs at his ungraceful attempts to hang on as the two dragons freewheel over the snow-covered lands of the North before landing in front of a beautiful waterfall for a “romantic” moment.

In dialogue calling back to Jon and Ygritte’s famous cave scene (listen, are D&D just going to troll us by recycling all of Jon’s best hits?):

“We could stay a thousand years, says Daenerys, looking back at Jon. “No one would find us.”

“We’d be pretty old,” says Jon with uncharacteristic humor.

I believe Jon’s lightheartedness stems as much from his being home with his family at long last as the thrill of dragonriding with a pretty girl by his side. The two flirt using cheesy lines straight out of bad fanfiction before sharing a kiss which I suppose will please the stans.

Not me, though. Romantic music playing in the background or not, like in boatbang, the supposed passion of the moment is interrupted by a third party which makes the whole thing awkward. The final shot of Jon’s eyes widening as he sees Rhaegal staring directly at him as he kisses the Dragon Queen made me snort, but it is unclear whether it was played for a laugh, is meant to underline the awkwardness of this romance, or be an ominous portent of the revelations to come.

And Now For the Good Stuff

That terrible unnecessary Disneyfied brightly lit, panoramic, even mildly comedic sequence contrasted sharply with the scene between Jon and Sansa only minutes later. We are treated to a Jonsa staple: a warm, candlelit scene full of tension, fluttering eyelashes, and heaving bosoms. This time, the air is shimmering with a new emotion – jealousy.

The two start off by discussing a message from Lord Glover, who “wishes (them) good fortune but he’s staying in Deepwood Motte with his men.” This immediately sparks an argument between them about Jon having bent the knee. They’ve had variations of this fight before, and to be honest, it’s a little tired. While I fully understand Sansa’s reservations about the presence of Dany and her armies in the North in terms of logistics, I tend to be more sympathetic to Jon’s insistence that the discussion on Northern independence needs to take a back seat for the moment given the gravity of the threats they are facing. But Sansa clings stubbornly to this old argument, and she (rather unfairly) lays the blame for Lord Glover’s desertion at Jon’s feet (let’s blame who is really at fault here, Sansa – the disloyal lord himself).

But of course, that’s not really what they’re fighting about.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to abandon your crown,” she says, voice shaking with anger as she turns her back on Jon.

Jon, frustrated, moves several steps closer. “I never wanted a crown. All I wanted was to protect the North. I brought two armies home with me, two dragons.”

Sansa spins around. “And a Targaryen queen?” she spits out.

Ah, and here we come to what appears to be the true cause of her wrath. Jon reminds Sansa that without Daenerys (and her martial strength), they don’t stand a chance against the Army of the Dead. Sansa is silent. She cannot argue the need for the armies and the dragons, but she takes particular exception to the woman who leads them. Why, Sansa? TELL US WHY.

It’s in their eyes as much as their words.

Jon heaves a deep sigh, closes his eyes. “Do you have any faith in me at all?” (Y’all, this line just about broke my heart cause he just wants her to love trust him.)

Sansa’s eyes are soft and slightly glassy. “You know I do.”

Jon takes another step or two towards Sansa, never breaking their gaze. “She’ll be a good queen. For all of us.” His eyes move away briefly. “She’s not her father.”

Sansa looks down, gathering herself with a deep breath. “No, she’s much prettier.”

Jon gives a pained smile of acknowledgment. It is his turn to avoid her stare.

“Did you bend the knee to save the North?” Sansa asks him, her eyes unfocused. “Or because you love her?”

Jon glances up at Sansa, but doesn’t respond.

END SCENE.

(Let’s give a standing ovation to Sophie and Kit for acting the hell out of this scene. I want a hundred gifs of this, people. Please get on it.)

The subtext is rich, rich, rich, my Jonsas. The dream is still alive.

One Last Thought - The Importance of Sansa Stark

Nothing made me happier than seeing our Queen in the North Lady of Winterfell given all the credit and respect that is her due after seasons of anti bullshit. See:

The people’s deference to her position and the role that she plays in the North

Tyrion’s acknowledgment of her survival skills - “Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.”

Arya’s steadfast defense of her - “She’s the smartest person I ever met.” - when Jon (Jon???) himself was expressing frustration towards her (check out @athimbleful 's recent ask for an explanation for Jon’s behavior in this scene)

Even Dany’s behaviour towards Sansa (first with that cringey introduction), and later when she singles her out for not “respecting” her, despite the fact that none of the Northern lords were showing her any warmth is an indication of her awareness of Sansa’s alpha status, which is right and just and exactly as it should be.

As recent promo materials, cast interviews, etc. seem be strongly pro-Sansa, I am reasonably optimistic that this all bodes well for our girl. For that alone, I will breathe a little easier...

...at least for one more week.

#got spoilers #got episode review #anti daenerys #dark!dany #political!jon #political jon #jonsa #jonsa is coming #got s8 #got s8 spoilers #jon snow #sansa stark #sansa stark defense squad

228 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

Note

Hi ! I recently read the fics "Uphill" and "A Hundred Crimson Sols", and I also remember reading "Perfomance in a leading role" a while ago, and I really loved them so I was wondering if you new other AUs where they have another job than in canon ? Especially ones where one of them is famous ? I love your blog btw, and you're so nice with everybody

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could recommend any true AUs? I feel like getting away from the canon setting. Thanks!

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hi, do you have any coffee shop/different first meeting au fic recs? thank you! (:

Hi Nonnies!!

I hope you don’t mind that I put y'all together, since y’all are looking for pretty much the exact same thing! Funny because these all came in around the same time, LOL. I’ve SO many AU’s, but I’ve those ones sorted too, and Nonny 1, you’ve got a good suggestion here for today’s AU list, so we’re gonna go with Other Professions, which works great for Nonny 2′s request as well!!

And Nonny 1, thank you very much for your kind words! I’m not THAT nice, but I try, LOL

Nonny 3, I’ve added in the “see also” some fics you may also enjoy! Believe it or not, I’ve never read a coffee shop AU fic. I think it’s because they’re mostly Unilock and I don’t really care for unilock :P (I like my John and Sherlock older because I can then relate to them :P)

I’ve also added some fics on my MFL list since I like making long lists LOL LOL.

ALTERNATE PROFESSIONS

See also (for First Meeting Nonny):

Fairy Tales and Fantasy

TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)

Magical Realism Where John is the Powerful One

Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock

WWII AU’s

Faes / Faeries

Alternate First Meetings (Canon-Feeling)

First Meeting Via Internet / Phone / Letters

Angel John

Ghosts / Figments

School Fics

Soul Mates and Soul Bonds

Omegaverse

where the good things grow by anchors (M, 7,066 w. || Tea Shop AU || Alternate First Meeting, Magical Realism, Gardens, Tea, Friends to Lovers) – “I have a magic garden.” As come-ons go, John’s heard worse.

He’s Not Paid Enough to Deal with This Shit by janonny (T, 9,828 w. || Personal Assistant AU || Humour, First Meetings, Snarky John) – One of the first things John did was to write up step-by-step instructions on how to conduct a proper job interview before handing it over to Mycroft for his perusal. There were no kidnapping, deserted car parks or stolen therapy notes anywhere on that list. (Or the one where John returned from the war and ended up working for Mycroft as his personal assistant slash doctor on retainer. Everything was fine, until he was sent to post bail for one Sherlock Holmes.)

The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w. || Nutcracker AU || Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy’s present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w. || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn’t. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara’s American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she’s also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she’s placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157w. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family’s private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it’s time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant – but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief…

Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 77,750 w. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school’s Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who’s been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

The Swan Triad by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers’ attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship’s surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there’s more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin’ the eye, he has to choose… is it a pirate’s life for him?

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Actor / Hollywood AU || Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Secret Relationship, Coming Out) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE ||70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That’s all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

MARKED FOR LATER

(these are fics I have in my MFL list for future reading and have not read them yet. Read at your own discretion).

My, She Was Yar by blueink3 (M, 5,313 w. || Cinema AU || Teenlock, Mention of Sex for Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – YAR: adjective; (nautical term, of a sailboat) agile, quick, easily manoeuvred. Or, the exact opposite of what Sherlock Holmes is when he stumbles into John Watson’s cinema and turns his life upside down. Part 7 of the Tumblr Prompts series

come be my april fool by a_different_equation (M, 6,473 w. || Great British Bake Off AU || Writer!Sherlock, Est. Rel., Fluff / Humour, Baking, Marriage Proposal, Military Kink, Domestics, POV John, Romance, Sherlock Wears Glasses, Sweet Sherlock, Bookstores, Queer Themes) – After leaving ‘The Great British Bake Off’, Sue Perkins has written a book about Victorian baking. Tonight, on April 1st, she is reading at ‘The Bard’, Mike Stamford’s bookstore in central London. It is the exact same spot where John Watson, battered and bruised, had learned all about his magnificent bastard – one Mr. Sherlock Holmes, famous gay crime fiction writer – for the first time. A story about found family, DRAMAtical lesbians, how to react when your boyfriend has a military kink but he doesn’t want to act on it, oh, and popping the question. Sequel to ‘i read your book, you magnificent bastard’. Part 2 of Magnificent Bastard!AU

Idle Hands by kinklock (E, 7,226 w. || Deaf Sherlock, Phone Sex, Alternate First Meeting, Dirty Sign Language) – While working as a video sign language interpreter for the deaf, John’s last client of the day asks him to interpret a highly unusual call. (aka deaf Sherlock wants to call a phone sex hotline AU)

What To Do With An Atypical Animal Within by HarveyDangerfield & swimsalot (E, 7,804 w. || Harry Potter AU || Animagus, Porn With A Little Plot, Tail Porn) – Sherlock is determined to be an animagus. But what happens when it isn’t a fox or a horse or a dog he’s turning into?

Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John’s Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock’s Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It’s not a love story, until it finally is.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 24,904 +w. || WiP || Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Meet Cute, Prince Sherlock / Soldier John, Alternating POV) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Aquiver by Junejuly15 (M, 25,852 w. || Fashion Designer AU || PA John Watson / Fashion Designer Sherlock, Sherlock’s Feelings, Romance, UST, Arrogant Sherlock, Drug Use, Confessions, Protective Mycroft, Parties, BAMF John, Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time) – Sherlock Holmes is a successful and arrogant fashion designer and John Watson his new PA. Of course, sparks fly between them.

False Advertising by ravenscar (E, 27,722 w. || Office AU / Devil Wears Prada Inspired || Victor Trevor, Flashbacks, Hurt / Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Younger John/Older Sherlock, Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock is John’s boss and mentor at an advertising agency. Can they find love in the cut-throat workplace?

Out and Loud by paradigmfinch (M, 28,233 w. || Popstar AU || Dancer/Ballet Sherlock / Singer John, Fluff, Falling in Love, Mutual Pining, Jealousy) – John Watson is a 22 year old pop star who’s about to come crashing out of the closet.Sherlock Holmes is a reluctant fanboy auditioning to dance in his next music video. Part 1 of Out and Loud

Looking Glass Cabaret by lymphadei (E, 30,874 w. || Cabaret AU, Alternate First Meeting, Drag Queen John, Fluff and Smut, Drama, PWP) – Lady Grey leant up on her toes, her hands on either side of his neck to steady herself as she pressed her lips against Sherlock’s ear. “I wouldn’t say a devil, Mr Holmes, but I’m definitely not on the side of the angels.” Then, she pulled back slightly to place a lingering kiss on his cheek. Part 4 of the Interpersonal Affairs series

Through Dangers Untold by hogwartswitch (E, 32,003 w. || Labyrinth AU) – The Goblin King has fallen in love with John Watson and visits him in dreams. But the evil wizard who cursed the Goblin King cannot allow that to continue. Will John survive the labyrinth? Or will he become a lost goblin like all the rest?

An Everlasting Inferno by thatawkwardfriend (M, 35,011+ w. || WiP || Criminal AU || Different First Meeting, Minor Character Death, Gun Violence, Sherlock Whump, Friends to Lovers / Enemies to Lovers, UST, Mutual Pining) – Sherlock and John are both men who operate outside the law. John works for Mary and her hitmen in order to keep a roof over his head. Sherlock does anything his drug dealer asks of him in exchange for free drugs and housing. They meet one night in a darkened garage to negotiate a deal. But they soon find out that neither of their bosses are being entirely honest with them about their goals or motives. With a little poking around, they stumble upon something much bigger than themselves and discover that perhaps, it might be in their best interests to work together. (Loosely inspired by StartUp and Little Favour)

Leveling Up by philalethia (M, 36,961 w. || Video Gamer AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, Gaming, Internalized Homophobia, Sexuality Crisis, Past Drug Use) – John plays video games, Sherlock writes a guide on GameFAQs, and they get on quite well together… eventually.Told entirely through emails, text messages, and voice chats.

Learning Curve by thpontiacbandit (M, 41,422 w. || Teacher / Parent AU || America, Fluff and Smut, Parentlock, Frottage) – John is a Kindergarten teacher. One of his students, a boy named Henry Holmes, refuses to speak in school. John is determined to get to the bottom of it, and that is how he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Fly Very High by yalublyutebya (E, 46,533 w. || Formula One AU || Rivalry, Permanent Injury, Hate / Angry Sex) – John Watson was born to be a racing driver, and even a crash isn’t enough to keep him out of a car for long. But coming back is not that easy, especially when he meets his new teammate, Sherlock Holmes.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock’s closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don’t need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Doubtful Comforts of Human Love by PoppyAlexander (M, 61,500 w. || Ballet / Rugby AU || Ballet Sherlock / Rugby John, Est. Long-Term Relationship, Marriage, Case Fic, Blow Jobs, Implied Infidelity, Angst, Dirty Talk, Violent Outbursts, Arguments, Relationship Discussions, Love Letters, Grand Gestures, Hopeful Ending) – UK Ballet principal dancer Sherlock Holmes and assistant rugby coach John Watson met and fell in love as ambitious, optimistic teenagers. Twenty years on, they are entering midlife, facing the break-down of their bodies and the ending of their careers, and contemplating what the future holds for two middle-aged men forced to start over. With a frightening crisis unfolding at the Ballet, Sherlock must balance the demands of his career, his friendships, and his marriage with his own struggle against bitterness and discontent, while John takes a long-overdue glance from the outside, in, and stutter-steps toward making a kind of peace.

The Craving in Between by love_in_mind_palace (E, 69,349 w. || Wedding Planner AU || Infidelity, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Sexting & Texting, Alternating POV, Mary is Not Nice) – Sherlock Holmes, The wedding Consultant. Picky about his projects and a nightmare to work with. Rejects ninety percent of the couples after just having a look at them and can predict how long a marriage will last. But when unassuming, plain, John Watson reluctantly limps his way in his office, with his more than enthusiastic fiancée, Mary Morstan, instead of dismissing the ill-assorted couple on the spot, he promptly decides that the project, and the groom.. are definitely worth working on.

Philia and Eros by distantstarlight (E, 84,660 w. || Historical AU || Friends to Lovers, Time Travel, Kilts, Possessive Behaviour, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Implied Rape/Non-Con) – Love is timeless but time isn’t necessarily linear. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are about to embark on an unintended adventure that will take them far away from the comfortable confines of 221 B Baker Street. Part 1 of Strange Paths

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.” Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Cake and Other Sins by Indybaggins (E, 100,670 w. || Great British Bakeoff AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Baking, Desire, Disability, Incest (Holmescest/Holmescest with John), Masturbation, Falling in Love, Oral, Outdoor Sex, Past Drug Use, Poisoning, Voyeurism) – Sherlock and John meet as competing bakers on The Great British Bake Off. There’s intense baking, lush recipes and enticing food. Mycroft, guilt, past sins in chocolate and gingerbread. And love. That too.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Emperor Tales of the Frozen South by cwb (M, 153,444 w. || Penguin AU || Adventure, Rituals, Fluff, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Gay Rights, Bonding, Antartica) – At the bottom of the world, two intrepid explorers make their way in the harshest of environments. An important journey must be taken, and prophecies fulfilled, but not before family meddling, political interference, and self-doubt threaten to alter the future of an entire species.If you know me at all, you know that this had to be done. Part 1 of Emperor Tales of the Frozen South

The Jewel in the Tower by PoppyAlexander (E, 207,079 w. || Dystopian AU, Violence, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Mild Dub Con, One World Government, Class Issues, Assassin John / Geisha Sherlock, Self Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Espionage, Miscommunication, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Letters/Texting, Phone Sex, Infidelity, First Time, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Injury Recovery, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Scars, Misgendering, Happy Endings) – In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace – despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world’s pleasure districts. John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world’s most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned “drashaskaya,” the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled. In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London’s pleasure district. (PUBLISHED AS “At Night in the Floating World”)

You Go To My Head Series by 7PercentSolution and J_Baillier (E, 257,765+ w. across 8 Stories, WiP || Surgeon AU || Medical Realism, Doctor John / Doctor Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Addiction, Angst, Slow Burn, PTSD, Pining, Insecurity) – This series is an alternate universe one, featuring the exciting medical and romantic adventures of doctors Watson (senior neuroanaesthetist) and Holmes (neurosurgeon).

Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies’ encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.

Deflowered - Director’s Cut by Lorelei_Lee (E, 328,535 w. || Mafia / Mob AU || Rape/Non-Con, Dub-Con, Boss John/Rentboy Sherlock, Bottomlock, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous John, Prostate Milking, Sounding, Anal Beads/Plug, Anal Sex / Fingering, Spanking, Begging, Blow Jobs, Riding Crops, Begging, Romance, Desperation, Minor Character Death, Implied Self Harm, Violence) – It should have been strictly business. Being a Mafia boss with a sadistic sexual streak, John had long since realised that his playthings were in it for the money only. Being a masochistic rent boy, Sherlock seemed too good to be true. Little did they know…

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #johnlock au #alternate professions #Anonymous #long post

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