#i survived 5 hunts and found my way out on my own

[teddiesworldd]

could you do a pt2 of the zombie outbreak with ghost, maybe the zombie outbreak ends and they get used to being a normal couple? idk

after the world ends (p2)

this is part two of my ghost apocalypse au, you can read part one here!

a/n: thank you so much for all the love on part 1 and for this request which inspired part 2! i hope it's what you imagined <3 (1k words)

pairing: simon ghost riley x reader

tags/warnings: apocalypse au, fluffy, some descriptions similar to ptsd, starting a family, the ending they deserved ;')

day 154 of the apocalypse, 5 months after the first outbreak, 2 months after the second.

time creeped on slowly as the days melted into weeks, and then months. you’d become quite accustomed to life behind the fence, picking up various skills to make yourself useful in camp. the others had taught you everything you needed to know. you could now fish, hunt, cook - survival was something that came so naturally now, it was like your life before never happened. like it had always been this way. on your trips out of camp with soap, you had noticed shoots of grass and leaves sprouted up through the concrete over time and covered your city in an overwhelming green haze. 

other than the odd trip outside the safety of the fence, your days were calm and laid back. you often spent them laying out by the river with simon, watching the water flow past in the warm spring air. more recently though, you’d looked after the german shepherd you had found with soap in the city, which you had lovingly named riley after your love. there was always plenty to do - things needed fixing up, whether that be the equipment or each other. 

in the evenings, you no longer watched soap and ghost talking from your tent - you sat alongside them at the campfire, simon’s large hand holding yours. you shared stories of your lives before the outbreak, dreaming of what you’d do when the world turned the right way around again - if that would ever happen. and when your conversations died down, simon led you to his bed and you spent the night with your head on his chest, listening to his faint heartbeat to drown out the sounds of the infected who got too close to the fence.

it wasn’t all smooth sailing; some of the others in camp had fallen sick and the nearest pharmacy was completely stripped by other groups, leaving nothing to treat your own wounded campmates. illness spread like wildfire here and all you could do was nurse their wounds and cook hot meals to lift their spirits and provide warmth. a few lost their lives to disease or to the zombies, but most fought on, struggling through the days.

you’ll never forget the moment when you heard about the cure. 

head resting on simon’s shoulder, swaying gently to the faint crackle of the radio. his hands gently gripping to your waist, holding you close like he never wanted to let you go. it was a routine that you both had for a few weeks now, after your first night together in the tent. rocking gently to the music as the sun glowed shades of pink and orange in the late evening. "my girl, i'll marry you when this is over." he'd tell you every time you held each other like this. simon had never felt so enamoured with someone in his whole life. he couldn't wait for the day you shared his last name. it was what kept him going through all this - the thought of living a normal life with you on the other side. soap sat nearby, cleaning up whatever he’d found during the day, cheesing over the action figures he found in the house he raided, watching as you and simon fell utterly in love with each other.

the music cut off and the announcer said that a cure had been developed to treat the infected. and suddenly you remembered everything that you had left behind 5 months ago.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

four years later, you sat out on the porch of your home with a cold drink, watching simon play with your daughter in the backyard. he proposed to you as soon as you heard the radio broadcast and you married shortly after normality returned, falling pregnant and buying a house together. it never really got any easier - cuts turned into scars and memories of your days in camp turned sour, plaguing your dreams. often you’d wake up in a cold sweat, fear running through you like you were still there. but simon never failed to bring you back to earth again, stroking your hair and shushing you to sleep again. soap visited often, riley always jumping up at him madly as he stumbled through the front door. your daughter had grown accustomed to calling him “uncle johnny”, which he loved and it made him well up the first time he heard her say it.

nothing would really be the same again - you had lost most of your friends and family, and the world never quite got back to the way it was before.

but in a way, that was okay. because so much good came from it. 

“mommy, look!” you daughter giggled madly from the bottom of the garden. you snapped out of your thoughts, eyes landing on your 4-year-old daughter who was halfway up the tree at the bottom of the lawn.

“i- i did try to tell ‘er not to,” simon sighed, walking up to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “but you know what she’s like... little adventurer.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. it definitely wasn’t the first time she’d gone up there - she climbed up it like she’d done it a thousand times before.

“reminds me of someone i know.” simon said, looking down at you in your chair, nothing but love in his eyes. he kissed you sweetly, reminding you of the first time your lips touched that night in your tent. 

“i’ll start making dinner, yeah?” he finished, hand gently squeezing your arm before heading into the kitchen. you really did get so lucky the day you crossed paths in the woodland.

“can someone help me down?!” your daughter shouted, riley barking up at her playfully as she clinged tightly to the branches.

“yeah, honey, i’m coming” you replied, placing down your drink and heading down the garden.

˚✧. thank you for reading!

˚✧.please reblog to support me <3

˚✧. dividers by @ saradika-graphics and @ si-eunnis

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💌 send a request

[dryadalisliv]

Merthur ao3 recs

The trouble with Daisies 23.4k words

Merlin is just settling into his new role as Court Sorcerer and trying to figure out where he's exactly standing with Arthur when he finds himself adopting a dog completely by accident.

A dog who seems to hate the king with a burning passion.

Arthur is far from amused.

---

The moon stays warped in silence 12.6k words

"What is wrong with me Ma?" asks little Merlin his mother. "What is wrong with me?" asks Arthur Pendragon to the moon. About monsters and their hearts and how they love life so much that it hurts.

---

Little ones 14.5k words

“Did you just say you found two children in Arthur’s bed, Merlin?” Gaius gave him The eyebrow. Or, when two children who look weirdly similar to Merlin and Arthur appear in the prince's chambers, they have to find out where they came from. In which secrets get revealed, families founded and chaos ensues!

---

Sunny in Camelot 14.6k words

"Merlin," Uther says, "For your alleged crimes, I would normally sentence you to death by fire. But, because my son has requested it… I have granted you a fair trial. All witnesses and involved parties shall state their cases, and then a verdict will be reached. Is this understood?"

"Yes sire."

"Now you will each tell me, in your own account, what on earth happened this week."

"Your majesty, it all began Tuesday…"

---

The Hunt for Red Emrys 27.9k words

King Arthur sets out to keep his promise to the spirit of the Druid boy by repealing his father's ban on magic. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, for reasons including but not limited to the following:

(1) He can't change the law until he understands magic better, but no sorcerer is willing to explain magic to him until he changes the law;

(2) The sorcerers all have some strange obsession with Merlin, which is awakening all sorts of feelings in Arthur that he really doesn't fancy examining too closely;

(3) He is starting to feel like the butt of some Druid-population-wide inside joke involving the mysterious phenomenon called Emrys; and

(4) Oh yeah, Morgana is still trying to kill him.

Thus he embarks on a journey of discovery, diplomacy, accountability, and self-improvement, and maybe even falls in love along the way.

---

Forgotten Memories 8k words

Relying on pure luck and Merlin’s inexistent ability to keep a secret was not working any longer. So, Merlin figured better to be prepared and memorized a spell that could erase short-term memories. Honestly, he’d meant it as an emergency protocol, he had no idea how he’d become so careless that he needed it so often. It wasn’t his fault Arthur seemed to be paying way too much attention to him lately. Look, Merlin was just trying to survive while protecting his prince, he hadn’t done anything to deserve all this stress!

Or the 5 times Merlin erased Arthur’s memory of his magic and the 1 time he let him remember.

---

The Laughter From the Next Room 24.5k words

A small ball hovered in her hand, shining with a silver-blue light. It floated there, getting brighter and brighter before dimming again. Wisps of cloud swirled at its center. It was pure magic. And the breath was stolen from Arthur’s lungs. “I thought you’d recognize it. He said it was warm. He said it reminded him of home.”

It has been one year since Merlin's death when Arthur meets Morgana on the battlefield. Somehow, between all the guilt and shame, he discovers that his sister knew Merlin better than he ever did - and ever would.

^^

( actually one of the best fics i have ever read, and it made me sob and ugly cry, my god!)

[srgntjamesbuckybarnes]

The List (5)

Summary: When a hit list spreads around New York, Bucky’s ex-wife is the only one with any information.

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Mafia Bucky Barnes x Ex-Wife Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Not Beta’d. Thank you for all of the comments. I read them all! Let me know if I missed you in the taglist!

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Chapter 5

Nothing ages the soul faster than pain. Y/N had spent the entirety of her marriage to Bucky nestled under his wing. Warm. Safe. Hidden. He had always been her protector. The second her life was threatened she fell back into familiar habits. No matter how far she jumped, gravity always dragged her back down to Bucky Barnes. A sick joke from the universe or fate? Y/N would never know. She wasn’t the same person Bucky previously married, but neither was he. When they had first wed, neither could imagine a life without one another but if the divorce proved them wrong, why were they back where they started?

Like a snake shedding its skin, the pair was forced to grow. Each new scale bound together like the armor of a knight. The protective layer of thick skin was worn with honor, displayed like a war trophy. Neither one of them had made it out of the divorce unscathed, but they had both survived it. Bucky never doubted Y/N was the one for him, their timing had just been off. Right person, wrong time. Life is like a string. The ending and beginning are always the same, people are born and then they die. It’s all the knots in between that mold people and their relationships. Y/N and Bucky hit a knot in their string. Their perfect marriage became messy and tangled but if they could unravel the knot the string could resume its course. Y/N hoped all of their time spent apart had allowed them to grow together, not apart like they had thought.

Bucky had always held the power in their relationship, but now he was a king in check, trapped behind bars. Y/N was free, free to make moves. Steve had been right. The queen held all of the power. She had been playing the game wrong all along. It wasn’t her who needed protection, it was Bucky. He had just handed her access to the board, to his men. Y/N filed her nails and sharpened her teeth. The prey had become the predator and Y/N was ready to hunt.

Dancing her way into the kitchen with a newfound confidence, Y/N skidded to a halt at the sight of Steve. A coffee mug pressed against his lips as he occupied a stool at the end of the island. He barely spared her a glance, his focus trained on the newspaper in front of him. Y/N would have found it offensive had she not known the man. He had always been more of a brother to Bucky, and she had come to see him as a brother-in-law. She respected him. That was the reason she halted. He wouldn’t approve of her decision.

Clearing her throat, Y/N held her head high as her bare feet padded across the kitchen.

“Morning,” Steve’s deep voice rumbled.

With her back turned to him, Y/N poured herself a cup of coffee mumbling her own greeting. She needed a firm hand to guide her in Bucky’s world, but she hadn’t forgotten the way Steve toyed with her. Maybe he was disappointed Bucky hadn’t left him in charge. It didn’t matter now. Bucky appointed her. At least that’s what Steve told her.

She could hear the crinkle of the newspaper turning before he spoke, “Did you give my advice some thought?”

It was now or never. Y/N clasped her mug between her palms and sauntered across from Steve. Again, he didn’t acknowledge her standing across from him, his head buried in the paper. The sound of her mug connecting with the marble finally caught his attention. The blonde’s head snapped up to face her.

“I did,” Y/N said slowly, dragging the words out.

Steve raised an eyebrow folding the newspaper in front of him. “And?” He pressed; his hands folded on top of the printed paper.

Y/N eyed him for a moment, her tongue pressed against the roof of her mouth. “I’ve decided to take another direction.” Steve shook his head, his pink lips parted. Y/N could taste the argument on his lips so she beat him to it. “You’re demoted, Steve.” The bewildered look on his face almost made her take it back, almost.

“You’re not serious, Y/N.”

The way he said it made her jaw tick. It was a statement rather than a question. As if she wasn’t capable of being serious. As if he didn’t take her seriously. He was the child, not her. Pressing her palms into the marble countertop, she leaned forward. “You may have been right yesterday but what you did was childish. You may have Bucky’s best interest at heart and be Bucky’s best right-hand man, but you are not mine.” Steve opened his mouth again, but Y/N held up a hand. “I get it, Steve, really, I do. Bucky is your friend. It was you picking up the pieces when I moved out but that doesn’t excuse your methods with me. I love you Stevie, but I need someone who is going to be upfront with me and not play these games you and Bucky orchestrated. I need my best right-hand man, not Bucky’s.”

The stool screeched against the tile floor as Steve stood. “You’re making a mistake, Y/N. Bucky will be out soon and when he is, he will undo everything you change.”

Sipping her coffee mug, Y/N smiled. “Then it is my mistake to make. If I fail, you win. Enjoy this demotion. Take a break, go on vacation.”

“Lives are at risk Y/N, it is not the time to experiment,” Steve growled.

“Then Bucky wouldn’t have appointed me.” Y/N picked up her mug ready to exit the kitchen. “Effective immediately, Bucky will report to me.” Exiting the kitchen, the conversation was dismissed.

A nagging feeling in the back of her mind warned her she was making a mistake. That she should listen to Steve. He was in the business longer, he knew better. Y/N shook the feeling away, her feet carrying her across the house in search of her right-hand man. Bucky trusted her. She knew the enemy better than any of Bucky’s men. She hadn’t made her decision on a whim; Loki knew where Bucky was and was expecting Steve to take over. It was the logical thing to do.

“Hey Y/N, where are you off to in such a hurry?”

Y/N smiled at the familiar voice. Exactly who she was looking for. “Hey, Sam. I was going to head to the prison, but I wanted to get your opinion on something first.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest. “Shoot.”

“How would you feel about a promotion?”

Strumming her nails against the cold metal table, Y/N counted down the seconds the inmates would stroll through the door. Bucky was finally able to receive in-person visits. Her chest tightened at the thought of finally feeling his hand in hers, his arms wrapped around her, his lips against her own. Being so close yet so far was torture but she wasn’t here for Bucky. At least not yet.

Sam sat at a separate table a few feet beside her. He was just as eager to see his boss, his friend, but he had mastered controlling his emotions. Sam had been in the business for years. Prison wasn’t anything new to him. He visited plenty of people, even he mentored some of them before he joined Bucky. Sam was no stranger to visiting friends in prison, but visiting Bucky in prison was new. Steve had been Bucky’s primary contact since his arrest. How would he take Y/N cutting Steve off of him? Sam’s mind swirled with a million possibilities of the kind of man that would walk through the door. Would he still be the boss he knew or worse? The answer was neither.

A buzz rang out alerting the visitors of the arrival of the inmates before the door opened. Each visitor rose from their chair in unison fighting to make their presence known in the same way one would when picking up an individual from an airport. A sea of orange piled into the room followed by the rattle of handcuffs. Despite the matching uniforms, one person stood out amongst the rest. Bucky. His 6-foot frame towered over the other men. The white sling across his chest stuck out like a sore thumb.

Sam couldn’t help but scoff at Bucky’s appearance. Steve had told him Bucky was doing well but Sam had expected him to look rougher. A wolf in sheep's clothing; a true chameleon. Bucky was able to blend in anywhere, prison was no exception.

Bucky shuffled into the gray room one foot in front of the other. His shoulders squared as much as he could with his injury. The entire prison was dull, including the visitor room. It made sense considering the prisoners were dressed in one of the loudest colors imaginable. It made it easy for the guards to keep track of everyone. Bucky was shocked to have received a request for a visit from Sam. Steve would have at least mentioned it to Bucky the last time they spoke.

Bucky came to a standstill as the men in front of him stopped. Waiting for his turn to be guided to a table, Bucky held his head high, scanning the room for Sam. Given his height, he was able to see over everyone, easily spotting Sam. Feeling another set of eyes on him, Bucky’s eyes drifted around the room. It was possible Loki had sent someone reckless to take him out with guards around. He wouldn’t put it past him. Bucky would rather overestimate the man and be prepared rather than underestimate him and be dead.

During his scan, Bucky did a double take, his eyes landing on Y/N. Curiosity ate away at Bucky between Sam’s visit and Y/N being here. He wasn’t expecting her; she hadn’t requested a visit with him.

Y/N held Bucky’s intense gaze. She could tell he was confused, his eyes pleading for answers, but she would let Sam handle that. She had a more important task at hand. She saw Bucky’s jaw clench before a shadow towered over her.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” a cheerful voice called out, pulling her eyes from Bucky.

Y/N turned to the man beside her, uncuffed with his arms outstretched for a hug. His soft green eyes stared at her like a lost puppy, and she couldn’t help chuckle as she embraced him. “Scott Lang. It’s been a while.”

The brunette’s chest rumbled beneath the orange fabric as he pulled away. Motioning to the steel chair Y/N had been previously sitting in, Scott invited her to join him at the table which Y/N gladly accepted.

“So, what brings you to my neck of the woods? Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming sooner, I would have spruced the place up a bit,” Scott joked.

Y/N had met Scott on a trip to California after her split from Bucky. He too had been recently divorced. Unlike Y/N and Bucky, Scott and his ex-wife had a daughter, Cassandra, so they were in frequent contact. Y/N had wondered if she and Bucky had a child would they have been as civil as Scott and his ex-wife? Maybe they would have worked it out and wouldn’t have divorced at all. Maybe they never would have lost contact.

Y/N laughed, ignoring Bucky’s glare as he passed her. She forgot how goofy Scott was. He always made his daughter laugh. He was a good dad. Unfortunately, his career choice kept him from her. A regret he kicked himself over time and time again; however, no matter how illegal, it did support her. That was all he wanted to do, provide for his daughter. Y/N’s heart went out to the troubled little family. She couldn’t imagine having a child with Bucky while he was in and out of prison.

“You’re a long way from San Diego. Had I known you were here I would have come to visit sooner,” Y/N smiled softly.

Scott shrugged, “Judge thought a change of scenery would do me good. Little does he know; he just gave me access to more connections.”

Y/N hummed. That was the exact reason she came to visit him. Scott was an extremely personable guy, and he knew everyone in the wrong business. “Actually Scott, that is what I came to talk to you about.”

Scott clasped his hands together on the metal table, leaning forward. “I’m all ears.”

Clearing her throat, Y/N whispered, “I need to track someone down by the name of Thor and I need it to be done as discreetly as possible.”

Scott slammed his hand on top of the table, the bang ringing around the room. Everyone’s eyes shot to the pair. Realizing his mistake, Scott held his hands up at the guards who began to approach the table. Scott began to fumble over his words explaining he wasn’t being violent, but Y/N tuned him out. Staring at Bucky who kept his murderous glare locked on Scott, Y/N turned to Sam who looked equally as furious.

“Ma’am,” a guard called, snapping his fingers in her face.

Y/N jumped, tilting her head back to face the guard.

“Are you okay?”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Y/N nodded. “We’re fine.”

“Keep it down over here.” The guard eyed the two of them for a moment before turning on his heel.

Once the guard disappeared, Y/N waved a hand at Sam dismissing him. Then she reached across the table and flicked Scott in the forearm.

“Ouch,” he began rubbing his arm, “What was that for.”

“For causing a scene. What part of discrete did you not understand? Isn’t discretion part of your job?”

Scott gestured around the room. “I never said I was good at it.” Clearly or he wouldn’t have been caught several times. “Anyway, you’re looking for Odinson?”

Y/N nodded leaning back in her chair.

A dopey grin graced his face, “Well, you’re hot.”

Y/N’s eyebrows raised, “Excuse me?”

“The hot and cold game. Me and Cassie play it all the time.” When Y/N didn’t respond, Scott waved his hand. “Forget it.” He leaned closer, “Thor is here.”

Eyes widening, Y/N pressed her palms against the edge of the table steadying herself. “In the prison?!”

Scott nodded, “Apparently royalty isn’t above the law. At least not overseas anyway. Boozie one he is.” He began to mimic a drunken man passed out.

“Well, can I meet with him?”

The man tilted his head pursing his lips. “Thor is in solitary confinement for fighting the guards.” Y/N frowned. Her plan had been a dead end. Steve was right. She should have listened to him. “But I know a guy who can get a message to him when he gets out.” Scott offered. Y/N perked up nodding enthusiastically. Scott jerked his head to his left. “They frequent the same circle. He could get the message to Odinson.” Y/N followed the direction his head pointed and snorted. Bucky.

“He’s a cool guy. I think you’d like ‘em.”

Y/N held back a laugh at the irony as she glanced down at her ring. “Thanks, Scott. Can I give Cassie a message?”

“Actually, just send her one of those creepy dolls she likes so much. She’ll know it’s from me.”

Y/N rolled her eyes before squeezing his hand. “Will do. Thanks, Lang.”

Scott raised his hand signaling the end of their conversation. In a matter of seconds, he was escorted out of the room leaving Y/N alone at the table with her thoughts. In chess, the king wasn’t useless, he could still take pieces out and make moves. He was just limited, like Bucky. It was his turn to make a move.

Y/N stood, approaching Sam and Bucky. Without a word, Sam rose from his seat sending Bucky a nod before moving to stand to talk with one of the guards. Y/N was grateful that he chatted with the guards to avoid them making a fuss over her and Bucky not having an appointment.

Bucky would have stood and waited for her to sit if it wouldn’t draw attention to them. He yearned to hold her in his arms but that wasn’t going to happen, at least not now. Instead, he let his eyes shamelessly roam her face and body. Y/N blushed under his gaze and didn’t hesitate to grasp his open palm, outstretched on the table. Bucky squeezed her hand, his eyes admiring the ring on her finger.

“You got the ring,” he observed. Y/N hummed in response. Bringing her hand up to his mouth, his lips grazed the back of her hand. “I can’t wait to get out of here so I can fuck you wearing only this,” he growled, pressing his lips against her knuckle.

“Bucky,” Y/N gasped.

He sent her a sly grin adjusting the ring on her finger. He knew just what to say to make her squirm. “Sam told me you’ve been making some big changes. Good to know you haven’t changed that much.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes, “Why didn’t you tell me what you had planned?” 

Bucky didn’t need her to elaborate on what she meant. He knew she was talking about putting her in charge. For a long moment, he said nothing, his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. Y/N tightened her grip on his hand, reminding him of the question he had yet to answer.

Bucky exhaled, thumbing the ring on her finger. “I told you the conversations on the phone were recorded.”

Y/N bobbed her head, “We’re not on the phone now Buck. You promised to be honest with me, to let me in.”

His left shoulder slumped. “Steve and I speak in code sometimes. Makes situations like this and speaking in front of enemies easier. We’ve known each other so long that some things don’t need to be said out loud. Sometimes a look is enough.”

Y/N felt a pang of jealousy strike her heart like lightning. Bucky had always been close with Steve. They shared a bond that not even Bucky and Y/N had. Her ex-husband never let her fully in and it was the downfall of their marriage.

“You asked for my protection. Steve and I agreed that wouldn’t change no matter what, but I had to make sure you were all in before I handed you the keys to the castle.” His thumb stilled on the diamond. “Steve is mean sweetheart because I asked him to be. Not with words but I know he understood. He knows it would kill me if something happened to you. Hell,” he huffed, “it nearly killed me the first time. I already lost you once, I can’t do it again.”

Y/N frowned, “That doesn’t excuse the childish games you two play. This is why I demoted Steve. He’s not loyal to the mob, he's loyal to you.”

Bucky removed his hand from hers to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh, pretty girl, you don’t get how truly important you are.”

“Steve suggested we use the wedding as bait.”

Bucky leaned back in his seat. “What do you think?”

Y/N shook her head. “I met with Scott to discuss an alternative route.” Buck nodded, glad to have some light shown on why Y/N had been talking to Lang. “He said you run with the same crowd as Thor. He’s Loki’s stepbrother.” Bucky’s eyes widened. “I need you to talk to him. Tell him I sent you. Tell him the whole story if you have to. We need him on our side.”

Bucky stared at her as if she was crazy. “The guy isn’t stable Y/N. He lost his eye in a fight. He’s in solitary confinement. The guy could snap if he learns that his brother has a hit list on us. He could kill me.”

Y/N chuckled. “Don’t tell me New York’s big bad mob boss is afraid of a big oaf. Thor is nothing like Loki. He’s a good guy. He wants to help Loki.”

Ignoring her comment, Bucky pressed, “And what do I tell him when he asks how we're going to help him? I don’t think he’ll take well to us planning to kill his brother.”

Glancing around the room for anyone listening, Y/N leaned forward hissing, “We are not killing him.”

Bucky winked, “Got it.”

“I’m serious, Bucky. If we can get Thor to help us, we can lure Loki out and Thor can take Loki home to get help.”

“And if he refuses? If he gets away?”

“I need you to trust me. I know this family better than anyone else on our side.”

Bucky signed. “Should I be worried about the number of men you know that are sitting in prison?”

“You’re in prison,” Y/N pointed out.

The brunette nodded, running his fingers through his beard. “I trust you.”

“Good, because you report to me now. Not Steve, not Sam, not Peter. Me.”

Bucky groaned, “Careful darling, keep talking like that and I might not be able to wait until I get out of here.”

Next Chapter

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[sattlersquarry]

a sneak peak at orange juice 2 (title tbd)

a/n i am on a social media sabbatical but am here just to share this snippet of orange juice 2. i've been procrastinating on starting it because i'm unsure how i want to take this story and i feel so out of practice writing this style. but am really excited to keep going! For a [virtual, nonexistent] dollar, find the noah kahan reference 💵

icymi: this is the opening of the sequel to orange juice, my angstiest work yet

(tw for slut shaming, aka two old women at church speaking ill of sex workers)

AUGUST 1987

It’s been three months since you returned to the land of the living. You’re not taking it well.

Surviving in the Upside Down meant constantly being in fight-or-flight, scrambling to find food and clean water while avoiding demo-creature attacks. Thankfully, without Vecna’s evil influence, the animals weren’t so bloodthirsty—but they still needed to eat.

You were able to avoid them, surviving yourself off disgusting canned food from the Upside Down’s version of the Big Buy and whatever houses you ransacked. It wasn’t very appetizing. It made the meal you were serving up today seem like a 5-star, 5-course delight.

It was neither of those things. It was for a church potluck that your mother had a hand in throwing. Lots of casseroles and carbs. She dragged you along to volunteer in hopes to get you out of the house.

Ever since you left the hospital in May, you’d only ever left the house to go to doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments, and Steve’s place. Your parents wanted to encourage more of a well-rounded life and schedule, and although they’d never admit it, you figured they hoped you’d turn back to your normal self. To the person you were before it all happened.

You think she might have died.

As you plate some macaroni and cornbread for your next patron, you sense eyes on you. You glance over and see two women at a table a few feet away. To your chagrin, they’re gossiping about you.

“I mean, it’s appalling,” an old bat named Shirley hisses. “She claims to have lost her memory after the earthquake and gotten lost, but it’s obvious that she just ran away.”  

“Probably thought she was grown up, that she knew better than her parents,” Mildred says with a sniff, adjusting her too-big glasses.

“I can’t believe she left poor Steve Harrington high and dry,” Shirley adds.

Your heart clenches at the fact that these women see you as a villain, as an irresponsible idiot who up and left everyone who loved her out of spite. If they knew the truth…if they knew the nightmare you’d survived…

It only gets worse from there.

“You know what Cynthia told me?” Mildred says. “That her cousin’s roommate’s friend’s brother saw Y/N working a street corner in Manassas. It's just shameful.”

Anger burns through you, hot like hellfire. So you’re a slut now, too? What happened to loving thy neighbor and forgiveness and all that shit?

“Can I get some more of that?” an elderly man says.

It snaps you back to your task at hand: dishing out food to hungry churchgoers.

“Ah, yeah,” you say. You dump macaroni on his Styrofoam plate. “Sorry. Here you go.”

The man smiles and ambles off. You take a deep breath and try your best to tune out the whispers of the chattering hens.

Your mother must notice the scowl on your face. She makes her way to you, practically floating. She’s as graceful as ever. She’s totally in her element. She deserves a daughter who doesn’t clomp and stumble her way through life. Who doesn’t jump at every loud noise and sleep with a hunting knife under her pillow.

“Doing all right?” your mother asks you, giving you that sympathetic look that you think you might despise by now.

You muster up a smile of your own and nod.

Your mother can’t tell its fake and beams.

“See?” she says. “I knew getting you out of the house would turn that frown upside-down!”

She doesn’t know about the Upside Down. She thinks you got injured in the earthquake, stumbled through the Indiana woodlands, and got found by cops two states over. That you couldn’t remember where you came from due to amnesia, that since they pronounced you dead no one assumed you were the missing girl from Hawkins until your memories came back.

So you let her comment slide and continue to fake a smile and figure that it’s better to pretend you’re fine than feel it all.

[frankencanon]

Cora-san Lives AU

My sister and I were re-watching Law's backstory when I discovered the perfect little detail that if modified could create a "For Want of a Nail" AU where Corazón survives and Law still gets the Ope Ope no Mi, without making the fic unrealistic or out-of-character at all!

Click the :readmore: if you're interested...

—

First, let me recap the sequence of events that took place on Minion Island which ultimately led to Cora-san's untimely demise:

***[ Skip to the bullet points for a TL;DR since the numbered list kind of drags on, going into an unnecessary amount of detail... ]***

Cora-san and Law arrive at Minion Island. Cora-san at first tries to leave Law on the boat by himself, but Law stops him and makes sad eyes at him until he relents and takes Law with him—but not all the way. Cora-san leaves Law in an abandoned house in town, where Law wanders out onto the steps and falls asleep as snow rains down on him.

Cora-san attacks the Barrels Pirates and makes off with the Ope Ope no Mi. During his escape, he trips and falls and winds up surrounded by Barrels Pirates with guns. He gets away alive, but not before being shot several times.

One of the pirates—a kid with an X-shaped scar on his chin—flees the scene.

Cora-san heads back to Law with the Ope Ope no Mi.

When he finds Law asleep on the steps, Cora-san—for whatever reason—picks him up and carries him off somewhere before waiting for him to wake up to force-feed him the Devil Fruit.

Cora-san collapses. Before he can lose consciousness, he passes Law a capsule cylinder and tells him to deliver it to the Marines.

Law goes off on his own, trudging his way through the snow. He chickens out on approaching the first group of Marines that pass, but works up the courage to approach the next—Vergo—when he sees that he's alone. But before Vergo can leave, he begs him to come with him to perform first aid on Cora-san.

Vergo goes with Law, and when he sees Rosinante he immediately attacks him before reading the secret message and then brutally beating him; Law gets kicked around as well. With them down for the count, Vergo calls Doffy and relays the situation to him.

While he's distracted, Cora-san uses his Calm Calm Fruit to sneak away undetected. He hides Law in a treasure chest and uses his fruit to silence him and anything he touches.

Doflamingo and the rest of the Don Quixote Pirates descend on the island and begin to hunt Cora-san and Law down after Doffy creates a Birdcage for the first time.

The child with scar on his chin manages to get far enough away that he's clear of the Birdcage when it comes down. Afterwards, he is found by Marines and taken aboard their ship.

Cora-san makes himself bait and gets chased down and beaten while Law listens from his place trapped in the treasure chest. They hold back from killing him so Doffy can interrogate him about the locations of the Ope Ope no Mi and Law.

Cora-san tells him that Law ate the fruit and was promptly taken into custody by the Marines.

Almost immediately after, Baby 5 and Buffalo inform Doffy that they overhead a Marine transmission about finding a boy and taking him aboard their ship, thus convincing Doffy that Cora-san was telling the truth.

Doffy shoots Rosinante repeatedly. As he lay dying, the Don Quixote Pirates make off with the treasure chests.

With Law on the other side and Rosinante permanently down for the count, Doffy takes down the now seemingly pointless Birdcage.

As they are loading the treasure onto their ship, Tsuru shows up and chases them off the island forces them to hurry up and leave. Unbeknownst to them, Law sneaks off in the chaos.

Law escapes to the neighboring Sparrow Island, presumably with the small sailboat he and Cora-san had been traveling in.

...OK, I'll admit I went a little overboard with the details there, so allow me to quickly recap:

***[ TL;DR ]***

Rosinante and Law arrive on Minion Island.

Rosi wants to leave Law on the boat, but he refuses.

Law is left in a house instead as Rosi steals the Ope Ope no Mi.

Rosi is caught and heavily injured but manages to get away.

He returns to give Law the fruit before collapsing.

Law is sent off to deliver a message to the Marines, and he returns with Vergo who beats him and Rosi and contacts Doffy to spill everything.

In the background, Rosi quietly sneaks off.

Doffy arrives and puts up the Birdcage, forcing Rosi to take desperate measures to ensure Law's freedom and survival.

Rosi hides Law in a chest and uses himself as bait, convincing Doffy that Law had already escaped with the fruit in his belly.

Doffy kills Rosi and takes down the Birdcage.

Before he can loiter, Tsuru shows up to chase him off.

Law escapes on his own to the closest neighboring island.

Got that? Good. Now, here's how we can quickly and easily fix things so that most of the bad stuff never happens:

In the very beginning, Cora-san originally intends to leave Law on the boat while he gets the fruit, but Law stops him.

What would've happened if he hadn't?

With his sickness, Law has been in and out of it, often falling asleep. What if he'd been asleep when they first arrived and, rather than wake him up, Cora-san chose to leave Law a note telling him that he'd be back soon with the Ope Ope no Mi.

Law would have no way of following him had he eventually woken up, since Cora-san had to climb a very long rope to get to land.

As Law was not only sick and dying, but also far smaller than Cora-san, it's fair to say that he would have absolutely no luck trying to climb that rope.

Now, since Law is in the boat rather than in town, Cora-san's next destination after obtaining the Ope Ope no Mi would be to head back to the boat immediately.

I assume the reason he took Law to that broken wall in canon rather than feed him the fruit in town was because he was worried about being out in the open whilst the Barrels Pirates were all hunting him down—but he would have had no reason to do so had Law still been in the boat since that was far more hidden than some random half-wall could ever be.

...Plus it also had the potential for a quick getaway considering it's literally a boat.

Now let's try that scene again, but this time with Law and Cora-san in their little sailboat:

Law wakes up to a smiling Cora-san leaning over him with the Ope Ope no Mi in hand. Cora-san force-feeds him the fruit before collapsing. He then passes Law the capsule cylinder with the secret message, and tells him to pass it on to the Marines.

Now what does Law do? Does he go on the island to find a Marine? No! The kid is dying and can barely walk; Why would he do that when there's a perfectly good Marine ship parked just a little ways away? Especially since there's no way he'd even be able to climb that rope to get onto the island anyways, not unless Rosinante yeeted him up there or something.

Now, instead of running off, Law struggles to row the boat over to the nearby Marine ship. There, he is spotted by the Marines, the secret message is passed over, Rosinante's identity is verified, and Law is taken aboard the ship—for real this time.

In this scenario, Vergo is on the island when Rosinante and Law board the Marine ship. Maybe he hears a transmission about a boy and a heavily injured man being taken aboard, or maybe not. Maybe he identifies the man as Rosinante and reports it to Doffy, or maybe not.

It doesn't matter either way since they're now in Marine custody, under Marine protection, and there's nothing Vergo can do about it without breaking his cover.

In the meantime, considering the Marines' original reason for being there in the first place, the ship would undoubtedly be stocked with medical supplies and medics themselves, so that Rosinante would be able to receive prompt medical treatment—on Sengoku's orders, if nothing else.

Sengoku would likely command the ship to head straight towards him wherever he is, seeing as they most likely would have had to contact him personally to confirm Rosinante's identity.

Maybe he'll return to Sengoku and resume working as a Marine, or maybe not.

And seeing as he only had a few bullet holes in him at this point—which he was canonically able to run and jump around with, only really slowing down after Vergo and the other DonQuixote Pirates had beat the hell outta him and Doffy had shot him several more times—he should be able to recover just fine.

—

Before he died, there was a scene in canon where Rosinante had mentioned wanting to travel the world with Law once he was cured... Maybe in this AU they'll do exactly that.

Seeing as how Rosinante technically betrayed the Marines, it's entirely possible that not even Sengoku will be able to completely sweep it under the rug. At that point, it's not completely unbelievable that Rosinante and Law might wind up as pirates—for real this time—traveling the world and having adventures together.

Maybe they'll even drop by Sparrow Island for a bit, maybe pick up a kid or two...

...or a polar bear, even. You never know.

[lee-hakhyun]

orv ocs from lime? 👀 gimme gimme!

i've got them visualized in my head but i've barely got anything down about them besides a few sketches. got a little group together. not very good at names so some of them just don't have one yet 🥲

these ocs are american, living in the state i currently live in - new york - because i'm the most familiar with this area. however, as it's not a capital, most of these incarnations joins the scenario later on, after the 10th main scenario had already passed. something about seeing how the world progresses outside the domes... what happens if you have family trapped in the dome? what about the people who just don't believe the scenarios are real? it's really interesting to think about.

also, domes. it wasn't elaborated on how the domes are made outside of 'capitals', but in the side story we learn that extra domes are created based on population. the korean peninsula has a population of about 75 million with one dome, so assuming 75 million per dome, the united states would have 4 or 5 domes. we only know of the dc and las vegas domes in canon, so i'm assuming new york city ends up as a dome here. anyway, the incarnations:

arin, sponsored by the philippine goddess of lost things anagolay. she a matching skill and a stigma, dubbed [lost] and [found] until i can think of better names for them. [lost] is a stealth skill, which masks your presence / makes people 'forget' about your existence temporarily, while [found] summons things that have previously been lost (the type of item can be influenced, e.g 'weapon' or 'trinket', but the specific item is random. more probability spent generally means a better item.)

arin has a brother, who is actually sponsored by anagolay's husband, dumakulem, a god of the mountains/hunting! he was caught in a dome while traveling over there, and has managed to survive until the domes are freed and is now trying to get back to arin

a teenage incarnation with kind of hypnosis / control skills. she has (again, temporary names) [suggestion] and [command], with [suggestion] being used while talking to subtly influence the other party. on the other hand, when [command] is used the other party is notified through a system message, but the power of the influence is way stronger. i found it interesting to explore how much a character that you know could be manipulating you can be trusted

a girl sponsored by sherlock holmes. she has a skill that's something like a weaker character list. she can 'investigate' an incarnation, learning their sponsor, a limited amount of attributes/skills, and basic information.

elio and esmeralda. esme is an old lady who was in a nursing home, and elio her nurse, who paired up after a particularly bad first scenario. elio is a more supportive incarnation, and he's able to reinforce an enclosed space to block people who aren't allowed in. esme is sponsored by the grim reaper, and wields a scythe.

a dokkaebi! asong (아송), a mid-grade dokkaebi who isn't actually a streamer, but a dokkaebi who takes care of a museum of rare items collected from particularly famous incarnations who have died, or donated by their sponsors who liked their incarnations for showcasing after they died. she's shocked after an item is summoned out of the museum by arin's [found], and hunts her down to get her item back

there's a few more, but they're still just ideas and i don't have enough on them to list yet.

as these incarnations are in america, they do run in with anna croft and the zarathustras eventually. yoo joonghyuk is out there doing his own thing, but this world is set in a regression where he dies before he can impact the world too much. i think about these guys a lot... my own little kimcom. i really encourage everyone to make their own orv ocs it is so fun

[huginsmemory]

Plot Foils: On Ace, Robin, Marineford and Enies Lobby

Thought I'd put together a short lil meta on how Ace and Robin in the arcs of Marineford and Enies Lobby mirror each other within the plot, and what that thematically implies since I can't stop thinking about it and since any tradgedies immediately trigger my trap card of Write Meta Frantically. Also, note that there are spoilers for up to the time skip.

First, I'll start with the similarities between both Ace and Robin, and the arcs of Enies Lobby and Marineford, which can be laid out on the flow chart chart below, which I'll go into detail below, before digging into the themantic implications:

Parent figure involved with poneglyphs

mass violence by government in response to threat

survival of the character but widespread demonization of them

struggle with survivors guilt and suicidal inclinations

Acceptance into a found family, and who they are no matter their demonization

testing of the acceptance by capture of the World Government

resounding yes and declaration of War against the World Government by found family

do you want to live?

rescue/failure

1 and 2: Parent Figure and Mass Violence

Both Ace and Robin are survivors of violence from the government at a young age; Robin with the genocide of Ohara, and Ace with the hunting down and killing of babies in Baterilla after the execution of Gol D Roger. This violence by the world government is a response to both their parents being involved with poneglyphs, which threatens the power of the government (I also understand that Gol D Roger in his status of King of the Pirates was it's own impetus... but that's also intertwined with the poneglyphs in a way). Interestingly, both the parent figures desperately try to protect their children through denying or hiding the children away from the government as a form of protective love.

3 and 4: demonization, survivors guilt and suicidal inclinations

For both of them, their parents (or people's) demonization is transferred to their own lives. Robin quite literally becoming called a demon child and scorned by the world, while Ace is more round-about-ly called a demon child when talked about theoretically. Actually, even Dadan, who does love him, at one point calls him the devil's spawn (or some other variation, I can't remember exactly). As a result of the violence occurred by the government they both carry the feelings of survivor's guilt; and with their demonization, this guilt over being mere alive is compounded as the world repeatedly tells them that they should not exist. As a result, they both struggle with their own existence and suicidal ideology, unsure of what the world really tells them is true especially as both their parents are dead and cannot validate their existence. Also, as they are demonized, they are isolated from society, and other forms of love and acceptence from adults which could reassure them against such internalization of their demonization aren't really forthcoming. Although Ace has Luffy and Sabo for a good chunk of his childhood, and so is not entirely alone and rejected by everyone, he still clearly struggles with being alive and being accepted by others, especially adults and parental figures; this evidenced through his anger issues and his talk with Garp in which he asks if he should have been born (gonna fucking strangle Garp for being like 'Well I don't know' to a fucking KID who is asking if he should be alive or not). Robin on the other hand, is clearly alone and acutely lonely the majority of her life as she has to continue to be on the run, as she has a bounty placed on her head, and even kind people cannot accept her for long without the threat of the law.

ID: Ace asking Garp as a kid "would it have been better if I was never born?"

5: Acceptance

For both of them, their internalized suicidal thoughts and doubts becomes suppressed when they become incorporated into a family that accepts them wholeheartedly, breaking the stigma of their demonization. To Robin, this occurs when she begins to sail with the Strawhats who accepts her pretty quickly, not caring about her being a 'demon' in the eyes of the general populace and forgiving her for her previous transgressions against them; accepting her for who she truly is for the first time in her life since her very early childhood. Luffy, of course, I would bet sees the similarities between her and Ace; something that we the audience during the first read/watch though are oblivious too, but contextualized later make immense sense for why he has such strong feelings about Robin and suicidal characters. But I digress. For Ace this becomes suppressed when he is accepted into the family of Whitebeard; who is the first adult to not care about who his father is and still accepts him whole heartedly, to the point of seeing him as his own son. Again, Whitebeard and his family, like with the Strawhats and Robin, forgive Ace for his attempts of violence against them. This acceptence of them even spite their demonization, even in spite of them previously attempting to hurt or actually physically hurting the crew, allows them to begin to undo their internalized suicidal ideologies.

6, 7 and 8: capture, declaration of war and confessions

This acceptance by their found families ends up being tested as the World Government gets involved; for Robin in the Enies Lobby arc and with Ace, the Marineford arc as they are both captured as a result of them caring about their found families. For Ace, it is guilt over not recognizing Teach's dangerousness who was in his division, and the need to avenge his brother; for Robin, it is to ensure the survival of the Strawhats. As they are captured, the acceptance and love of their found family, in the face of both their demonization fully explained and having to fight against the World Government, is put to question; will their family declare war against the World Government and risk death to save them? The answer both times is a resounding yes. Yes, their found families love and care about them, those who have been told time and again by the majority of the world to be better off dead or never born at all are worth so much to their families that their families are willing to put their lives on the line to save them; in an ultimate display of acceptance and love. Both Ace and Robin initially refuse the attempt to save them, desperate for those they love to not get hurt, especially as they partially believe that they don't deserve to live, let alone be worth dying for. However, under the insistence of their found family who wants to save them, they both confess and cry out in desperation that they want to live, even after everything, even after questioning their own validity in being alive. However, here is when things begin to change in their parallels; compared to Robin's cry in Enies Lobby, Ace's cry is a lot more bitter, coming from the fact that Ace is already seeing those he cares about die before him to save him, such as Oars Jr. . Meanwhile in Enies Lobby, when Robin is asked if she wants to live, she has not already seen one of her crewmates die before her.

ID: first image of Robin crying as she declares she wants to live, second of Ace with his head bowed and crying saying 'why do I suddenly... Want... To live?!!!"

9: Rescue/failure and thematic implications

From here, it diverges further. Robin is saved in the end in Enies Lobby; there is no devastating death, and the Strawhats survive facing and declaring war against the World Government relatively without any negatives. Robin is told she is allowed to live, that she is allowed to want to live, and lives. The narrative of Enies Lobby showcases that the government will respond to potential threats to its power by mass violence excused through demonization of people or people groups; this dehumanization causes those who survive the initial violence to struggle with their mental health and the understanding of the value of their own life, as their life devalued by the world. In response to that, Oda displays and reminds the audience that no matter your perceived demonization, there will always be people who will accept you and love you for who you are and are willing to stand along side and fight for you to be recognized; no person is born illegal or wrong, that you are allowed to not only want to live but also to live, no matter what the world might say. This is directly implied with how Jaguar D. Saul tells Robin there will eventually in the future be someone that accepts and cares about her.

Building off of Enies Lobby, the same premise of the government enacting violence and the issue of demonization and mental health arises, as Ace is shackled to the scaffold and his parentage is revealed. However, unlike Robin, Ace is not that lucky; although he escapes the scaffold, it is his own inability to stand down that kills him in the end (something framed as heroic by the narrative which--yeah no sorry I don't think it's 'heroic'). He is told, right before his death, that he is accepted, he is loved, and that he is allowed to want to and to live no matter his heritage, by those who love him--but then he dies anyways, thanking everyone for accepting him. Marineford shows that, even if there are people who will accept you and love you, sometimes that doesn't stop the world from hating you to the point it kills you. It is realistic in that; if you are going to engage with these themes and topics, then you can't shy away from realistic depictions of what these systems actually does to people. Marineford and the death of Ace is built off of Enies Lobby and Robins rescue; Oda needed to show that yes, you can be loved and saved, before he was able to show--in a good way--that sometimes even the love of others isn't enough to shield you from a world that hates you. In the end, Ace was always meant to be set up to die, both as a narrative tool to display the violence of the authority of the government, in parallel to Robin being rescued in Enies Lobby, and as an impetus for Luffy to grow as a character.

To summarize:

Ace and Robin, through their false demonization by the World Government used as an excuse for mass violence, internalize this message and question the validity of their existence. This suicidal questioning is assauged by their acceptence into a found family which validates their existence. However, their capture by the World government reiterates their previous questioning, and bares their demonization to their families in a test of their acceptence. This causes a subsequent declaration of war by their families, who affirm their love and acceptence for the characters as they try to rescue them. Their arcs both deal with the demonization of people or people groups who threaten the power of the government, which is used as an excuse to eradicate these 'threats' to the government by mass murder, genocide and martyrdom. In exploring these systems, Oda touches on how people who are subject to such demonization often struggle with suicidal tendencies as they are told they should not exist, while also emphasizing that even through their demonization, these people (or people groups) will always find others who will love them for who they are, past the accusations and demonizations; no human is born illegal. As Robin in Enies Lobby is saved, this emphasizes that those who are demonized by the government will always eventually find people who will accept and love them no matter their demonization. Built off the back of this premise, Oda revisits this in the Marineford arc, but with a more somber cast, as this time Ace is not saved but dies, even after everything. In revisiting it with a different ending, Oda recognizes that sometimes, even being accepted and loved by people isn't enough to shield you from the harm of the government. (I mean also it had narrative implications of raising the stakes and giving luffy an impetus to get stronger but nevertheless...)

Application

The thing is, this is a tactic of demonization and dehumanization as a excuse for violence is one that has been used over and over again by governments and society all over our world. It's being used right now to excuse the genocide going on in Palestine. It has been/currently is being used against queer and trans folk, against POC, against Indigenous people, against unhoused people, against people with disabilities, against addicts. It's not something that's not applicable. It's highly applicable. By deliberately showcasing it, Oda validates those who are in minorities that have suffered under such systems of violence, often to the point of suicidal actions; he says instead it's ok, you are not who they tell you you are, you will find people who will accept you for who you are, you deserve to live.

But he also, in showcasing it, asks, what stereotypes and propaganda have you accepted? After all, being part of one minority doesn't mean you aren't able to be an oppressor. Are you standing there cheering when they enact violence? Or are you going to think beyond what you've been told and help them?

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 5: THE FLEA AND THE ACROBAT

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: This is a long one and based off certain scenes in Lucas on the Line. As a black person, I never realized I was other until it was pointed out to me and once I internalized it, I had questions I couldn't ask my parent(s) because it's not something discussed at length in the black community because trying to survive is hard enough. I honestly urge y'all to read Lucas on the Line because it's such a well written story about the Black Experience and how nuanced and difficult it is to navigate especially black kids who grew up in white neighbourhoods.

I hope y'all enjoy. Let me know what you guys think and if you'd like to be added to the tag list, let me know too! 🤎

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 4588

Masterlist

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV

THE WOODS 

I squeal dropping the mallet on the ground at the sound of a gunshot. Nancy giggles waiting for me as I pick up my weapon in the shrubbery. I never thought I would be on my way to meet up with Jonathan Byers on the opposite side of town to learn how to shoot a gun. But then again, a lot more bizarre things have happened this week so I shouldn’t be surprised. Nancy and I trek up the small hill as Jonathan shoots repeatedly at the target of empty tin cans or at least attempts to. 

“You’re supposed to hit the cans, right?” 

Jonathan looks over his shoulder smiling sheepishly. “No, actually you see the spaces in between the cans? I’m aiming for those.”  

“Sure.” Nancy answers, titling her head in amusement. She drops her backpack and baseball bat on the ground ready for practice. 

I don’t take off my backpack right away, taking in my surroundings. The wide-open space of dry leaves, weeds and shrubs. The tall pine trees encircling the space. The winter chill started to come in and I wish I wore a hat today to cover my ears, maybe even a heavier coat instead of a denim jacket. Jonathan opens the revolver to check how many bullets are in the cylinder before reaching in his pockets for more. 

“You ever shot a gun before?” 

“Absolutely not.” I answer. 

“Didn’t your dad fight in the Vietnam War?” I nod my head, shifting from side to side on my feet. My Dad would never let any of us touch a gun. There was no reason for us to. Jonathan shrugs.  “I’m surprised he hasn’t taught you how to shoot a gun,” he commented, directing his gaze to Nancy. “You?” 

Nancy scoffs. “Have you met my parents?” 

“Yeah, I haven’t shot one since I was nine. My dad took me hunting on my birthday.” I see the spark in his eyes dwindle to a low flame. “He made me kill a rabbit.” 

“A rabbit?” Nancy and I say at the same time.

“Yeah. I guess he thought it would make me into more of a man or something.” 

“Yes, because the world needs more men shooting guns.” I deadpan. 

Jonathan smirks, adding bullets to the cylinder. “I cried for a week.” 

“Jesus.” Nancy whispers. 

“I’m sorry.” I say to him. 

Jonathan didn’t say anything as he tried to drag emotion back under where he didn’t need to feel it. He snaps the revolver in place, the corners of his lips rise to a smirk again. “What? I’m a fan of Thumper.” 

“I meant your dad.” Nancy says. 

The detachment in his tone makes me uncomfortable. In seeing Jonathan’s dad for the first time today, the way he dressed and carried himself. There was something arrogant and insincere about him. When Will first went missing, I never heard Jonathan mention his dad, when Nancy and I found Jonathan at the funeral home, he was by himself picking caskets. Ms. Byers was at home grieving, but the whole town knew how adamant she was on finding Will, but where was his dad? The audacity to show up to the funeral of his youngest son, he did nothing to plan, to shake hands with the people who did care to find Will. Now with this story, it completed the picture. He was never in Jonathan and Will’s life and didn’t care to be. Only wanted to insert his toxic male dominance and masculinity onto the boys. 

“I guess he and my mother loved each other at some point...but I wasn’t around for that part.” 

Nancy gestures for the gun and Jonathan hands it to her. “Just point and shoot.” 

I walk behind Nancy to stand beside Jonathan, refusing to be anywhere near that sound. Nancy takes a deep breath aiming the gun at the can a few yards in front of her. 

“I don’t think my parents ever loved each other.” 

My eyebrows raise at the bold statement. “Nancy, you shouldn’t say that.” 

“I mean it.” she answers. 

“They must’ve married for some reason.” Jonathan states. 

“My mom was young. My dad was older but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So, they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family.” 

“Screw that.” Jonathan says. 

“Yeah. Screw that.” 

Nancy closes one eye aiming for the beer can. I put my fingers in in ears just as Nancy pulls the trigger hitting the beer can. I chuckle in disbelief. From shot gunning to shooting them, anything involving beer cans, Nancy is a natural. I shrug off my backpack, placing the mallet on top. Despite the awe, I am uncomfortable with what Nancy said about her parents. Sure, Mr. Wheeler was a bit…impartial. I was around the family many times to know that, but to say her parents never loved each other? I don’t know. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to try, Diana?” Jonathan asks, offering me the gun. I don’t move contemplating. “It’s not gonna bite.” He jokes. I make a face at Jonathan and he laughs as I cautiously take it from him with my gloved hand. 

“Just point and shoot?” 

“Just point and shoot.” 

I standing in front of a can, widening my stance so I don’t fall over. “There’s nothing wrong with starting a nuclear family.”  

“That’s easy for you to say,” Nancy voices. “Your family is perfect.” 

I narrow my eyes at her, shaking my head. The contempt in her tone is shocking. “That’s not true.” 

“Diana,” Nancy chides, shoving her hands in her pockets. “You never argue with your parents and your parents never argue with each other. You are perfect. Your siblings are perfect. Everyone in your family is perfect.” 

I don’t miss Jonathan’s eyes darting back and forth between us. Having never seen us go back and forth with each other, I can tell he is surprised by this. What he doesn’t know is this topic of conversation isn’t new. Throughout our years of friendship, Nancy and Barb always made fun of me for being “perfect”; how I never make mistakes; I am always put together. I need at least eight-hours of “beauty” sleep. From the nickname “Lady Diana”, to my mom making me lunches because I refuse to each cafeteria food. At first it used to bother me, but I moved passed it until Tommy H and Carol picked up on it and started calling me “Anal Princess”. 

This may not be a new conversation, but the undertone certainly is and it’s why I am thrown off by it. It doesn’t sound like a joke anymore and there’s something deeper going on. I never thought Nancy envied me. I know I certainly envied Nancy for being strong enough to stand up for herself and say no. For being able to be defiant without feeling like its wrong. I lift my head high lifting the gun eye level. 

“I’m not perfect and my parents do argue, just not in front of us and there’s nothing wrong with that.” I begin. “You want to know why my dad never taught me how to fire a gun?” I refer to Jonathan’s comment earlier. “Because he never talks about the War unless it’s to teach us a lesson. I don’t know any stories of his time there. My family is seemingly perfect because we don’t talk about things, we don’t have difficult conversations. We just keep our heads down and try to live without feeling more of an outsider than we already are.”  I pull the trigger and the bullet hits the can knocking it off the tree stub. 

None of us react. The heaviness of what I said laying on thick. My family isn’t perfect. We are far from it. We are compliant and conforming because it’s the only way to not be seen as more of an outsider than we already are. I understand it to a certain extent, but sometimes I wish my parents would talk more about it. About being black in an all-white religious town. About their past and how they came to Hawkins. I know nothing and it’s something I push down to be the “perfect” daughter when deep down it bothers me. This is not something I can discuss with Lucas and Erica because they are happy in their bubble and I want to keep it that way for them. 

“What do you mean?” Nancy asks with a frown. “You’re not an outsider, Di.” 

“Never mind.” I say, handing Jonathan the gun, feeling more uncomfortable than before.

Nancy didn’t question me again and after shooting practice we decided to head through the forest looking for the mysterious animal. Dried leaves crunch under my boots as we all walked in silence. Jonathan and Nancy walked together giving me space to be alone for a while which I am grateful for because I didn’t feel like talking. My mind feels like it’s been jostled back and forth, buzzing with many thoughts. I can’t believe I said that out loud. I’ve never talked about it because who do I talk about this with? Uncle Jack only comes to Hawkins once a year and when he does the environment is uncomfortable and stuffy because Dad doesn’t like Uncle Jack and doesn’t hide it. Long distance calls are expensive and I have no money to pay for it and if Dad finds out I’ve been talking to Uncle Jack he’d be furious. Maybe I should start journaling or writing letters I’ll never send. 

“You never said what I was saying?” Nancy speaks after a long period of silence. 

“What?” Jonathan says. 

The conversation about the photos began in the darkroom yesterday, but I interrupted when I saw the final development of the photo of the thing that took Will and Barb. It’s definitely been the great elephant in the room between the three of us and though the conversation in the darkroom was light in nature, it is a serious situation. 

“Yesterday, you said, I was saying something and that’s why you took my picture.” I glance around not focusing on anything, while keeping my ears perked. 

“Oh, I don’t know. My guess…I saw this girl; you know trying to be someone else. But for that moment…it was like you were alone or you thought you were,” I cautiously peer at Nancy. She looks like she’s about to explode. “And, you know you could just be yourself.” 

I ground my teeth. Jonathan just opened up a huge can of worms. A few days ago, I would’ve agreed but after talking to Nancy, I don’t think she is trying to be someone else. She’s a young woman exploring and there’s nothing wrong with that. Also, Jonathan isn’t close to Nancy to know who she is and who she isn’t. Nancy doesn’t respond right away, processing the soft insult. She stops clenching her hands into fists. 

“That is such bullshit.” Nancy fumes, glaring at Jonathan. “I am not trying to be someone else. Just because I’m dating Steve and you don’t like him—” 

“You know what? Forget it. I just thought it was a good picture.” 

My head retracts back. “So, you were intentional in taking those photos.” 

Jonathan’s head whips back. His brows shoot up in disbelief. “What?” 

“You said you thought it was a good picture which means you were intentional about taking it.” My voice hardens. “Taking all of it.” 

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Diana.” Jonathan mutters furiously under his breath, walking away. I march behind him trying to keep up with his long legs and quick strides.

“I’m not putting words in your mouth! Nancy asked you a question and your answer quite frankly, was bullshit. Because really? That’s what you were thinking when she was taking off her shirt?” It’s a cop out. A poor excuse to deflect from what he did. Jonathan scoffs. “Unbelievable.” I hiss, catching myself before I trip over a branch. “What about how Steve feels?” 

“Oh my god!” Jonathan throws his hands up in exasperation and I am filled with so much adrenaline I’m starting to shake. 

“I told you his privacy was violated too!” I snap. “As was mine, Tommy, Carol, and Barb!” 

Jonathan spins around, eyes bulging out of his sockets. “And I said I was sorry for taking the photos!” He shouts. I blink repeatedly taken aback by this attitude. No one has ever yelled at me like that and Jonathan was the last person I thought would. Nancy steps in scowling at him. 

“Don’t yell at her!” she shouts, pointing at him. Jonathan glares at her and keeps his mouth shut. I look down at my boots, done with the conversation. “Steve is actually a good guy. The whole camera situation. He’s not like that at all. He was just being protective.” 

“Yeah.” Jonathan scoffs, walking away. “That’s one word for it.” 

“And what you did was okay?” Nancy barks, following after him. I stalk behind her keeping my distance. 

“I never said that.” 

“He had every right to be pissed—”

“Okay, all right.” Jonathan says, rolling his eyes, coming to a halt. “Does that mean I have to like him?” 

“No.” 

“Listen, don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.” 

This is why he’s being like this. Because he doesn’t like Steve and has some sort of animosity towards him. I never thought I would stick up for Steve, but after my encounter with him in my garage, I think he’s a good person and deserves a chance to be seen and heard outside his bubble. 

“You know, I was actually starting to think that you were okay.” Nancy rages. 

“Yeah?” Jonathan challenges, eyes glowing with savage fire. 

“Yeah, I was thinking, ‘Jonathan Byers, maybe he’s not the pretentious creep everyone says he is.’” 

“Well, I was just starting to think you were okay. I was thinking, ‘Nancy Wheeler, she’s not just another suburban girl who thinks she’s rebelling by doing exactly what every other suburban girl does, until that phase passes and they marry some boring one-time jock who now works sales, and they live out a perfectly boring little life at the end of a cul-de-sac.’” His voice was stern with no vestige of sympathy in its hardness. “’Exactly like their parents, who they thought were so depressing, but now, hey, they get it.’” 

Nancy and I watch Jonathan march away. We look at each other absolutely gobsmacked at what just happened. Nancy’s face is so red, the veins in her neck pulsates with pent-up fury as she clenches her fists. I wrap my arm around her shoulders guiding her along the path. 

I admire the colours of the sky as we trek through the forest. Shades of pink, orange, and yellow blending and oozing together. The sun was setting and we would soon need to use our flashlights to navigate through the forest. My back aches from carrying my backpack for so long and I want to tell Jonathan to stop so we can take a break but he was far ahead keeping his distance. All of us have been quiet since the argument though Nancy walked beside me, we haven’t spoken focusing on our surroundings, deep in thought. 

A lot of truth has been said today and it felt like it was shoved down all our throats. I’m not mad at Jonathan for yelling at me and I hope he’s not mad at me for calling him out. What he did was stupid and I know he knows that, but picking a fight with Nancy was something completely different. It felt more personal and I can’t quite put my finger on why it would be since Jonathan and Nancy aren’t close. If anything, they may be farther apart now after what he said to her. I doubt Jonathan wants that especially because of how far we’ve come. 

“Are you okay?” Nancy asks quietly enough so Jonathan doesn’t hear. 

“Yes.” I respond automatically. Nancy looks at me and I drop the act. “No.” 

“Me neither.” she agrees, glaring at the back of Jonathan’s head. “I’m so sick of him and his holier than thou attitude.” 

“I can’t believe he yelled at me.” 

“I can’t believe that either!” she whispers hastily. “I didn’t like that.” 

“I know. Thank you for sticking up for me.”

“Thank you for sticking up for me and Steve.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

I debate on whether I should tell her he came to my house today, but decide it doesn’t matter and she probably already knew about it since he was in his way to see her anyways. 

“I can’t believe Princess Diana swore.” she teases, touching her chest in shock. 

“Oh, shut up.” I giggle, pushing her away. 

“Ou, again!” I roll my eyes. 

“I was just trying to understand why he took the photos.” 

“I honestly don’t even think he knows.” she says, looking at Jonathan again. There was no anger in her eyes, just curiosity.

“After that conversation, I think so too.” 

Nancy hums in response, tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ears. “I was going to bring it up later but, what you did earlier today about being an outsider. What did you mean?” 

A ripple of anxiety went up my back while my stomach fell to my feet. I shrug my shoulders shaking me head. “I don’t know.” I deflect. 

“Diana, we’ve been friends for so long, you can talk to me about anything. You know that right?” 

I do know that, but this conversation was not about a boy or anything menial like that. It was much deeper and something I’ve been pushing down for years. I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but when Nancy went on about my perfect day family, I snapped. This past week I feel like I’ve gone through the most significant changes which in turn has brought up subconscious thoughts, emotions and insecurities. I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction, perfect daughter, perfect friend, Juilliard, Blackness, otherness. But who am I? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be? 

“Diana.” Worry etched Nancy’s features. My silence makes her more anxious. I sigh, stepping over a branch. 

“Have you ever noticed there is no one who looks like me in our neighbourhood?” I mumble, uncomfortably. 

“No? What do you mean?” An expected answer. I close my eyes counting down from five. How do I go about this? 

“I mean, black.” I say, pushing down the lump forming in my throat. “My family…” I clear my throat. “My family is the only black family in the neighbourhood.” When Nancy doesn’t say anything, I continue. “I don’t remember when I noticed, but once I did, it’s hard not to. Even at school, I can count how many black people are there and majority are on the basketball team. Did you know that?” Nancy shakes her head. “I am the only black person in our classes, at dance. No matter where I go or what I do, who I am. I will always be the black one. Even in our friendship. That’s what I mean by outsider.” 

 “My mom and dad don’t talk about our blackness and I’m left to figure it out on my own. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. That’s what I mean when I said we don’t have difficult conversations. We just keep our heads down and conform, but sometimes I don’t want to conform. Sometimes…” I sigh feeling exhausted. Mentally. “Sometimes, I want to ask those questions but then I’ll feel like I’m not…” 

“The perfect daughter.” Nancy finishes. 

“Yeah.” I twirl the mallet in my hand. There’s so much to say but this conversation is exhausting enough. Nancy looks at the ground, kicking a rock. 

“I-I don’t know what to say…” she says lowly. “I’m sorry for not paying attention.” 

“You know now and that’s the first step.” 

“Of course, but please don’t be afraid to tell me these things. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you to feel like an outsider when you’re with me. What you said is something I need to know in order to change.” 

I nod my head and Nancy visibly relaxes, reaching to squeeze my hand. I rest my head on her shoulder feeling more relaxed than I did before the beginning of the conversation. It’s a conversation that could’ve easily gone south and I wouldn’t be prepared to handle it, especially after what happened hours before. Darkness quickly engulfs the sky and I am instantly aware of all the sounds in the forest. The wind slipping through leaves, the cracking undergrowth with each step Nancy and I make, the bugs crawling on trees. We all take out our flashlights to see and I notice Jonathan slows down to remain close, though still keeping his distance. I jerk at every unfamiliar sound making Nancy laugh again. 

“Do you remember Mei Wong?” I mutter, swatting away a fly.

“Yes. She auditioned for Juilliard!” 

“Well on Sunday at rehearsals, she told me…” I swallow to soothe the dryness in my throat. “She told me I should think about auditioning for Juilliard.” 

“Really? Wow!” 

I scrunch my nose. “I know.” 

“You definitely should. I meant what I said at Steve’s house. You’re such a beautiful dancer and you’re gonna go pro. I feel it.” I shake my head. Somehow Nancy sees it. 

“You are. I need you to be more confident in yourself.”

“I know, I know. It’s just…what if I audition and I don’t get in—”

“We’re only in 10th grade, you have time to worry about the auditions.” Nancy assures me.  “Maybe Juilliard has a summer intensive you can take beforehand to give you an extra boost.” 

“My dad will never allow that.” 

“Have you talked to your mom about it?” 

I shake my head. “Not yet.” 

“I say after all this is done and we find Barb, we will both help you research and come up with a plan for you to go to Juilliard. Because you’re going to Juilliard.” 

We find Barb. That’s the most important thing. It’s why we’re here now. The sound of her laughter echoed through my mind. The last time I saw her; felt her at Steve’s house. I don’t want to believe that was the last time I saw her. I shiver, crossing my arms above my chest. It’s so cold I can barely feel my ears and nose. Jonathan keeps pace with Nancy and I. There is still tension between the three of us, but now is not the time to dwell on it, not when we were outside in the forest on our own looking for God knows what. At random, Nancy slows down looking back and forth, her expression tight with strain. I keep myself composed despite the fact my heart is racing. Did she see something? Hear anything? Was it here? I tighten my grip on the mallet, my eyes darting from tree to tree. 

“What are you tired?” Jonathan asks. 

“Shut up.” Nancy hisses, looking around. “I heard something.” 

I follow closely beside Jonathan as we follow Nancy through the forest. I don’t know what we’re looking for or what she’s heard until I hear something faint…a whining sound. I gasp at the sight of a deer whimpering in front of underbrush. We all rush to the deer dropping to our knees. My stomach is in knots at the blood dampening its fawn-coloured coat. It looked like it’s been punctured multiple times. It’s ragged breathing and slow movements indicated it was in pain and about to die. I’ve never seen a deer this close before and I’m sad it has to be like this. Images of Bambi flash through my mind and I cover my mouth muffling my sobs.   

“Oh, God. It’s been hit by a car.” Nancy whimpers, tears brimming her eyes. She looks at the gun in her hand and holds it up. “We can’t just leave it.” 

“Wait!” I exclaim, grabbing her arm. “There must be something else we can do!” 

“It’s in too much pain. We have to.” 

“I’ll do it.” Jonathan says, taking the gun. Nancy and I look at him with wide eyes. “I’m not nine anymore.” Jonathan assures us. 

I stagger up on my feet grabbing Nancy’s hand. Jonathan points the gun at the deer. Time slows down and I feel like the forest is closing in on me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up just as Jonathan is about to pull the trigger when suddenly, the deer disappears into the underbrush. I jump back startled, mouth opening in a silent scream. 

“What was that? What was that?” Nancy shouts. 

I wring my hands jumping up and down. “Oh, my god. Oh my, god. I can’t. I can’t.” Panic shoots up my spine and I hold my chest struggling to catch my breath.

“There’s so much blood.” 

“Where did it go?” 

“I don’t know.” 

I quickly pick up the flashlight and mallet I dropped in my state of panic. My skin tingles and I shake my head trying to focus, aiming the light on the ground. Blood smears all over leaves and twigs. I proceed around with caution, shining my light on anything and everything in the forest, being cautious of not stepping on any gore. From the far distance I notice something dripping from a hollow tree stump. It looked like…sap. No, it’s too thick for it to be sap. I am vigilant taking calculated steps and kneel in front of the tree inspecting the foliage. It looked like the tree was creating mucus. Thick, slimy, runny mucus. There was no smell to it, but it was weird. I paid attention in biology last semester to know that this wasn’t right.

“Nancy.” I whisper. “This tree…there’s weird stuff falling.” 

Nancy joins me on my knees shining her light. She touches the tree stump, looking up. “Jonathan?” she shouts, looking around. I search as well thinking he was with us, but he’s nowhere to be seen. It would be unwise to leave Nancy here alone to look for him. We were better sticking together. When I turn back however, Nancy is taking off her backpack placing it beside her bat. My eyes widen. “You’re not seriously going in there!” 

“Watch my stuff.” 

“Are you crazy?” I snap. 

That mucus could be toxic or worse. There was no need to go inside the clearly rotting tree. Nancy ignores me crawling inside. I am lost for words because not only can she fit inside; her body completely disappears as if there was an opening on the other side. I blink, shaking my head, feeling disembodied. 

“Nancy?”

Adrenaline bursts through my veins to prepare myself to fight or flee. I feel like I am back in Steve’s backyard keeping watch while Nancy does something completely foolish like walk into the forest on her own or like now, crawling into a slime coated hollow stump. I curse colourful words under my breath that would shock my Dad. I can’t leave her alone. So, I take off my backpack and put the mallet on top; count down from five in my head and crawl through the hole holding my breath hopefully awaiting Nancy on the other side. 

Taglist 🤍: @tinydramatist

[soulslayer2020]

The Old Gods of CoTL: A Theory/Headcannon

When I first played through Cult of the Lamb, one line from Haro - the enigmatic owl - intrigued me: “Eons agone, these lands were rife with gods and their adherents...Those few who remained spread roots, spun webs, molded this world to meet them and theirs. 'Twere a land of many Gods once. Hundreds.” I was very curious about this as it meant there were once gods aside from the Bishops we know. But something happened that left only Shamura, Kallamar, Narinder, Heket, and Leshy. I wondered for a while who these old gods could’ve been and what were their roles/powers.

Well, I think Relics of the Old Faith may have given us a glimpse of who they might have been.

The main addition of Relics of the Old Faith is, well, the relics! Some of them reference characters we’ve met during the game (Clauneck, Kudaii, the Bishops, etc), but there are some names in there we’ve never seen before. I believe these might be the names of at least some of the old gods from eons ago. Now from what I can tell, relics can be made from either gods (e.g. the Bishops) or simply those blessed with power (Kudaii and Clauneck), so some of these names might not be gods but let’s go through them anyway!

1. GALVAR

So for each relic, we’ll be focusing on two things: what animal the god was, and what their role/power was. Starting off with Galvar, if we’re to believe the relic is reflecting their appearance, Galvar was a ram from the Ovis family due to their curves horns, with my person guess being an Argali due to the fact the horns twisting more than once as well as the overall thickness.

Now one might assume Galvar’s power was size manipulation due to their relic’s power, right? Well not exactly. After all, Heket’s relic doesn’t invoke anything to do with famine, nor does Kallamar’s have anything to do with plague. Instead, look at the description. ‘Famed Friend’. If I had to wager a guess, I would imagine Galvar may have been the classic gentle giant sort of character; looking big and menacing but is actually a big softy and uses their size to protect those weaker. So my guess would be Galvar may have been a god of protection or friendship.

2. LAPLACE

Laplace is a tough one to figure out from their relics. All that’s visible in their original relic is an eye and their blessed/cursed relic doesn’t help. But I can say for certain that they were a god of luck or chance. Not only are their relics dice, but I decided to look up the name Laplace and found a person born in the mid-1700s named Pierre-Simon Laplace who was a mathematician who focused heavily on probabilities. If I had to guess what animal Laplace could be, I would say a rabbit since they are heavily associated with luck.

3. FOWLER

Fowler is one of the easiest ones to guess in terms of species: a bird! But what kind of bird. Well, let’s look at the details. A fowler refers to someone who hunts birds. Also, take note that the only way to get this relic is to fish for it. With this, my guess is that Fowler may have been a great black-backed gull. These gulls not only eat fish, but also other, smaller birds. As for their role, my personal guess is that Fowler was a god of curses. They may have been the one to discover the uses for fervour and would go as far as cannibalising their own cultists to gain more. In other words, ‘drinking deep of their praise’.

4. ICEGORE

Probably one of the easiest ones, Icegore seems to be a yeti whose powers seem to revolve around ice. It’s possible that Icegore was a god of winter or just ice in general.

5. ALA

Going off the relic’s design, we can tell Ala was a predatory creature who seemed to value strength, pain, and survival. They also seem to have no qualms using it against others. But there are so many animals out there with sharp teeth so there’s no way to tell what animal Ala is, right? Well, what if I told you we may not only know what animal Ala is...but we may have even seen them in game. Think about it. A predator...no issue showing off their strength...associated with pain...and sharp teeth...possibly teeth in the darkness...

Ok here me out. I’ve theorised the Fox could’ve been an old Bishop in hiding for a long time. Not only are their eyes similar to the Bishops (black with red pupils) but whenever they show up, it’s through a black and red portal that looks identical to the ones the Bishops enter and exit through. So my current theory is Ala was the god of predators/hunting/murder who went into hiding due to their power deteriorating due to most of their followers being forced to join the Old Faith when they rose to power and was forced to hunt from the shadows to sustain themself, only making themself known to Lambert upon hearing of their crusades against the Bishops.

6. SLYTHOR

Another easy one, Slythor is a snake - specifically a rattlesnake due to their tail. According to their description, I think Slythor was a god of corrosion or decay.

7. SHUNRUE

Just like how small is opposite to big, I imagine Shunrue was the opposite to Galvar in every way. While Galvar is a friendly gentle giant, Shunrue may have been a small, selfish and cowardly creature. While one is a god of friendship and protection, the other is a god of betrayal and selfishness. But as for what animal Shunrue was...well unless he was a blob of goop, we can’t really say for certain. I would guess he would be either a rat (usually associated with selfish behaviours) or a bearded vulture (a predator of the Argali).

8. STIHI

So I did some research to see what animal’s have venomous tongue, and the most likely candidate for Stihi is a Gila Monster.

As for their domain, I decided to look up their name. Turns out a stihi is a fire-breathing storm demon from Albanian mythology. So I would like to guess Stihi is a god of storms or just destruction in general.

9. WARRACKA

...yeah, I have no idea what animal Warracka could be. I even looked up their name and came up with nothing. But due to the closed fist imagery in this and in Stihi’s description, I figured they could be a lizard like them. Specifically a cannibal lizard due to the method of gaining this relic. Therefor, I believe Warracka is an Aegean Wall Lizard - which was recently discovered to eat their own species - and the god of cannibalism.

 10. TURUA

Turua seems to be an octopus based on their relic, but their description doesn’t give much of a hint as to what they were the god of. So I looked up their name and it turns out Turua is Maori for ‘twice seen’, as the New Zealand town of the same name was built on a river, and the name came from the reflections seen in the water. So my guesses are Turua is either a god of reflections or illusions, or a god of the depths (maybe they knew Kallamar? Who knows!)

11. AETHRILE

This one has me stumped. There are no clues as to what animal Aetherile could be and looking up their name only shows CotL results. As for their domain, I originally thought they were the original crafter of the relics. But then I had a thought. What if they weren’t exactly a god? What if they were more of a benefactor of gods; someone who would aid them in certain ways? ...and what if ‘Aethrile’ was only one of their many names?

This is a complete theory with little basis, but my guess is ‘Aetherile’ was the first name the Mystic Seller was ever given and they made the powder box as a way to aid gods when they needed it. Just my own little theory though.

I won’t go into the unattainable relics hidden in the game files as I don’t know how cannon those are, so that’s it for my god guesses! But what happened to these gods? How did the relics come to be? Why does Chemach have them? Well join me in the next post where I’ll share my theory on how Chemach’s desire for power indirectly led to Narinder’s imprisonment.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book One of Three]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 3 out of 5

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m in love with a demon. Harley Laroux did not disappoint with this book and I’m so glad there’s two more in this series!

At first Rae bugged the hell out of me because of her stupidity, but then I realized the girl was just trying to survive. As any human would. And at least Leon loved her brattiness. His punishments were… wow.

And the whole Leon giving Rae his metal scene… fucking. swoon!

Dear lord, I loved it.

I loved it all.

Now here are my rambling thoughts...

* I’m already team demon. I don’t like this pompous Kent guy. Or his children.

* Kent’s son Jeremiah is such a little bitch lol

* What the fuck is waking up that gives a DEMON chills?!

* Oohhhh. Rae found a grimoire of her own 😏

* Who the fuck is this security guard and what just happened..?

* Wait.. Leon is the security guard?! lol. Demon asshole. Okay, it’s fine then.

* “I don’t tell stories for free, doll.” // “Yeah? What’s your price?” // “You, on your knees, begging for my cock down your throat.”

* Goddamn. Leon’s bold. I fucking love it 😂

* Aw damn. Leon’s got a hot friend. Another demon? And then Victoria noticed Rae checking out Leon. Not good 😬

* Well hello, Zane. I love you already lmao.

* Oh fuck. That alley scene. Get some, Rae.

* Fuck the Hadleigh’s for wanting Rae dead.

* And he fucking lost the grimoire… Kent fucking lost the book that kept Leon bound to him. Leon’s free!!!

* I have a feeling Everly “donated” the book and that’s how Rae got it when her friend from the library gifted it to her.

* Oh hell. That creepy thing was stalking Rae. And Leon saved her. God, I want a Leon.

* She totally just accidentally summoned a demon 😂 Time to play, Leon.

* “I don’t make idle threats. If you run out of here, then I’m going to hunt you. I’m going to catch you. And when I do- when I do, I’ll make you scream.”

* Well I was gonna stop reading for the night, but Leon just showed his forked tongue. I’m intrigued.

* Aw damn. Of course they’d be cockblocked by an Eld- that creepy as fuck creature that hunts humans.

* Holy shit. The way he ate her out and then fucked her… yeah, she’s totally giving up that soul of hers.

* Aw fuck. Why did Everly steal the grimoire? If she didn’t “donate” it, then how did it end up in the library? And please don’t let her father know she has it.

* Aww. Poor Cheesecake. The Eld snatched the car up and Leon’s totally risking his life for Rae’s cat 😂

* Rae is starting to piss me off. Just listen to the demon!

* Serves you right. You wanna argue, not you gotta squirm through your classes.

* …and now she’s invited him inside to patch up his wounds 😩 Just give him your soul!

* “I was like you once. I think I envy you, to still look at the world with such fascination.” // “You can still. Why not?” // “If you live in the dark long enough, you’ll forget what the light feels like.”

* I knew they were gonna fuck, but goddamn that was… intense lol.

* After everything, this bitch STILL wants to ask the Hadleigh’s for help?! I fucking hope they sacrifice her now. She’s so stupid.

* Now you’re trying to bind him and command him to protect you? Rae, you’re fucking up. I hope Leon makes you pay.

* And punish her he did. Goddamn.

* “I want you. Irrevocably. But I can’t settle for less than all of you. Body and soul, Raelynn. We demons, when we see something we like, we need to possess it. It’s in our nature.”

* Told you, you should have given him your soul. Now he’s gonna leave and the Hadleigh’s are gonna sacrifice your ass.

* Well shit. Everly has the grimoire and has an Archdemon protecting her. This is going to end swell.

* Goddamn. Callum the Archdemon fucked up Leon 😂

* Awww. Everly gave him his sigil back.

* Oh my fucking god. Did you really go to the Hadleigh’s for a party? You’re so goddamn stupid, Rae.

* Of course Jeremiah is gross enough to roofie Rae. I knew this party was just a ploy to get their next sacrifice. Thank god for Zane and “Sam”. And now Leon is here. Yay!

* Fuck. Kent was waiting for them 🤦🏻‍♀️

* Leon pierced her nipples. Why was that so hot 🥵 😂

* Whoa. Kent’s dead? A little anticlimactic, no? But which psycho will have after Rae now? The God has a Kynes, a Hadleigh, and now It just needs a Lawson. Rae is so not in the clear.

* Fucking hate Jeremiah.

* Oh my god 😭 Leon saying goodbye before he takes on the Reaper. I’m not okay. Fuck this.

* Oh my god… no matter that she’s marked for the God, she still carved Leon’s name into her flesh and gave him her soul. HE’S ALIVE!!!

* Omg I’m so happy. They both lived and she gave a big middle finger to that God.

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: webtoon edition!

my final 2023 wrapped post for the year! unlike previous ones, this list is every series i read this year vs. ones that started this year. previous lists for this year:

cdrama edition

kdrama edition

ranked from least favorite to most favorite, which doesn't mean objectively best, just ones that hit me more. ones that are completed series will have a * after the title

15 my deepest secret*. omfg i hated this webtoon. the twist was asinine and frankly ignorant. none of the characters were likeable by the end. hate quit this one with like 5 chapters left to go i just couldnt

14 my second husband. seemed promising at first! i was hooked for the first 40 chapters or so but then it just started getting weirdly paced, had big plot holes, and nothing ever felt like it was getting resolved. the ML had like 0 charisma as well. dropped.

13 to love your enemy. this one was REALLY fun until the cult arc hit and then it was the biggest wtf is happening. dropped it shortly after

12 i dont hate us*. i liked this one until the timeskip ending, where then everyone and everything just felt really off. the second female lead gets a special mention because i HATED her at first but by the end she was my favorite character <3

11 romance 101.* this was okay. the art style was really cute and i loved the FL. but there never seemed to be any chemistry with the main ship to me, and the plot became really focused on the app/programming club which bored the hell out of me. dropped this one around chap 100

10 shadow bride. nothing bad but nothing particularly noteworthy for me. fluff read.

9 high spirits neoma. im not very far into this webtoon yet, or it'd be higher up the list im sure. im around ch 5 and finding it really charming and i love the color palette for it

8 dreaming freedom/freedom in dreams. although the art style isnt my cup of tea, i really enjoyed this fucked up high school revenge/romance webtoon but where im currently at (ch. 111ish) it's starting to feel a little circular. hoping it goes back to what it does best which is Unsettling Shit

7 my reason to die*. man this would've been in my top 3 but the ending arc is just. really boring??? like i dont want to watch them search for a pot farm for 10 chapters. i havent finished this one yet, but ive been putsing getting back into it ever since post reveal. the drama is very pretty though and the reveal chapters hit me like a truck in a good way

6 operation true love. i borderline hated this webtoon when i first started, but the reviews had me wanting to stick it out and im so glad i did!! around ep 10ish it really finds its footing and just keeps going for it! very kdrama in flavor and endearing FL.

5 unholy blood*. a fun, dark, and nostalgic webtoon about vampires and vampire hunting that brought me back to my tween years in the best way. the character designs are really awesome. it's a little lower on the list because the ending felt a bit rushed, but it's a really solid horror/action comic with a lil romance

4 surviving romance*. this one's complete but i got about 10 chapters left. it's a really fun horror comic (NOT romance, dont be fooled by the title) that reminds me of extraordinary you but if the plot was focused on the metaphysical horror of it a little more. fun characters and relationships. a little lower just because the second "return" arc feels tedious/unneeded so far. we'll see. TEAM RINA.

3 maybe meant to be/fate found by chance. ive found that i tend to gravitate toward darker webtoons, so this is my c-c-combo breaker! cute, funny, quirky, and really endearing. standard contract marriage plot but between two delightful weirdos

2 purple hyacinth. this series is everything. the art is gorgeous, it has its own OST built into the reading. the characters are nuanced and complicated and omg it's a ride and a half so far.

1 olgami/trapped*. INCREDIBLE characters and such an intense look at enemies-to-lovers. the drama starts as a psycho-thriller about gravedigging for a vampire and ends up about two leads who have never learned how to love willing to try it with one another in their fucked-up way. dysfunctional. hot. SO GOOD. the art evolution for this series was great as well

[silverwings22]

Song of the Sea: Chapter 11: The Sound of Your Voice

Chapter Warnings: near death experiences, mind control, threats to eat weird things Series warning: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a.

Previous chapter:

Next Chapter:

“Are you ready?” Tech was standing next to Shinai, out in the hangar near the ship. She was sitting on the ground with a fully disassembled blaster on the ground in front of her. Omega’s target was propped up on the far end of the hangar, ready for her. 

Shiani nodded. “Ready.”

He hit a timer on his datapad. “Begin.”

Shiani started reassembling the blaster as fast as she could, having practiced this again and again over the last couple weeks. Tech let her get halfway through before adding the second layer of difficulty. “Plan 5.”

“Destabilize landing gear of a grounded ship.”

“Plan 88.”

“The Seeker. Batch is being hunted or tracked.” 

“Plan 82.”

“Electromagnetic pulse grenades to destabilize large groups.” She finished putting the blaster together and stood, taking a defensive stance and aiming. 

“Plan 00.”

“Radio silence.” She fired off three shots, hitting the edge of the target. She narrowed her eyes and recalculated. 

“Plan 72.”

“Divisive shuttle commandeer. One takes the pilot, one holds the ramp for the rest of the team.” She fired a second volley of three, closer to the center. 

“Plan 99.”

“I hate that one.” She fired again, this time hitting the center. 

“Tell me the plan, cyar’ika.” Tech urged. “The exercise is not complete until you finish the quiz correctly.”

She lowered her blaster, looking at him. “Plan 99. Self sacrifice to ensure the survival of the team.” 

Tech nodded. “Excellent. That was 3.87 seconds faster than your previous attempt.” 

She put the blaster in the holster on her hip. He had her in all the gear she owned plus some of his to assure she was still physically challenged as well. He’d put his own heavy gear bag on her shoulders, loaded her tool bag with everything he could find around the ship, put a holster belt around her waist, and put a brick he’d found in her thigh bag. She didn’t necessarily need to train with weight, just with the unwieldiness of the gear and how it affected her acrobatics. “Why do you even have that Plan?”

“We tried to anticipate every possible scenario.” He walked back over to her. “Hands.”

She held her hands out, palms down, for him to inspect any sign of shakes. She flipped them over when he tapped her wrist. “Could you really do it, Tech?” Her voice softened. “I know you could, to save them. But if one of your brothers called it, could you let them die to save you?”

Tech’s hands, lightly under her own, started to shake. Shiani glanced down, eyes wide, as he pulled back. “That is enough training for the day.” He said quietly, turning around. “I need to finish some repairs inside the ship.”

“Tech?” She reached out, fingers wrapping around his wrist before he could walk off. “Wait. Please.” 

He froze. He wanted to snatch away and walk off, lock himself in the silence of the cockpit and decompress from the sudden gripping panic that squeezed its way around his chest. Losing his brothers was a nauseating concept. They’d been fortunate during the war not to lose any member of the team…

But Crosshair is still gone.

The thought sucked the air from his lungs, and he twitched under her grip. “I do not like the idea.” He finally said. “In the moment, it may be necessary, however.”

“The aftermath of loss is hardest.” She nodded, sliding her fingers down until they slid into his hand. Gently, she squeezed it three times and waited until he slowly turned around to look at her. “Don’t use that plan. I don’t want to lose you either.” 

His own words out of her mouth made him pause, and he slowly tightened his fingers around hers. The ragged, caged-bird feeling in his chest slowly settled as he looked into those big blue eyes of hers. “I will… never use it unless there is no other option.” He finally said quietly. “Neither will the team. We agreed on that a long time ago.” 

She smiled softly and took a step forward, fingertips still entwined with hers as she silently prayed her subconscious mind was beaming how much she loved him directly into his brilliant brain. “Good.” 

This could be a romantic moment, if he’d let it. She could assure him that there was no way they’d fail if they were together, that she could give him anything he wanted if he’d only let her, that she’d never leave him like he was clearly so scared of. If he would just-

“Tech, we’ve got a mission.” Hunter called from behind her, startling Tech’s hand out from her own before she could say anything meaningful. 

“I will begin the pre-flight checks.” He said with a nod over her shoulder to his brother, before he turned on his heel and headed into the ship. 

Shiani unhappily deflated, watching him go. The sergeant caught up to her. “How’d training go?”

“Three seconds better timing. I hate one of your plans. I thought we were having a moment for a second before you walked up.” She sighed. “That’s everything.”

“He still hasn’t kissed you yet?” Echo jogged up behind Hunter, Wrecker with Omega on his shoulders next to him. 

“Kees? What’s kees?” Shaini blinked. 

"Do sirens not kiss?" Wrecker blinked. "You just squish your lips together and stick them on somebody."

"No, we don’t do that." Shiani shook her head. "What’s it mean?"

Echo chuckled. "Kissing different spots mean different things. But it's a… gesture of affection. On the back of the hand is polite, usually."

"The forehead is affectionate." Hunter smiled, glancing over at Omega. She got a lot of forehead kisses when she was falling asleep. 

"And on the mouth is romance." Wrecker grinned. 

Shiani blinked thoughtfully. "Sirens are different. We hold hands for affection, or wrap tentacles together. Polite is this…" She held her hand up and crossed it from shoulder to opposite hip, like a kind of salute. "Romance… we touch heads together and sing quietly, so only the special one can hear. But… kisses sound nice. If Tech wanted, he could kiss me anywhere he wanted."

Hunter and Echo tried not to snicker, knowing she had no concept of how dirty that could be taken. She really was a sweetheart. “He’ll come around, Shiani. He’s just being stubborn.” Wrecker reassured her with a shoulder pat. 

Omega wiggled down from the giant’s shoulders and offered her hand to Shiani. “Come on, we’re supposed to be catching a lizard. I want to pet it.”

“You pet everything.” Shiani let the blonde girl walk her up the ramp. “When do we catch something I can eat?”

“You can’t just eat things! What if it’s cute!?” Omega squeaked.

“Cute things can be tasty, Baby Mega.” Shiani laughed, sitting down in one of the red seats and letting Omega sit in her lap. She wrapped her arms around the girl and squeezed her three times, rubbing her cheek against the fluffy blonde hair as she often did. Omega liked how snuggly Shiani could be, especially when the guys didn’t always know what to do with their little sister’s affections. Wrecker was a hugger, but Hunter only ever seemed to accept them without starting many of his own. Echo just looked confused and awkward when her arms wrapped around him, and Tech… well, everyone said Tech didn’t like cuddles. Shiani seemed to be the only exception. 

Omega looked down at the siren’s arms around her middle. “You always do that. Squeeze me three times when you hug me.” She observed. “How come?”

Shiani dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Secret code. I used to do it with my old family when we had to be quiet for things. Three squishes means I love you.” She remembered hiding under a broken pillar when the city’s perimeter defenses briefly failed, arms around Kashae when they’d both been children. A monstrous carnivore fish was stalking the streets, the little prince and princess had only each other while they prayed their father and his hunting party found them before the predator did. Their clasped hands kept squeezing and squeezing, making sure the other one knew just in case this was the last moment of their short lives. 

I love you.

I love you too. 

After that, it was their little code. Boring meetings, lessons from their tutors, hunting training, it didn’t matter. Three squishes meant I love you.

Omega made a delighted noise. “Secret code.” She loved secrets, and quickly hugged Shiani and gave her three squishes back. The siren wrapped her coils over the girl like a seatbelt, and rested her chin on Omega’s shoulder, eyes drifting towards the cockpit where Tech was running the preflight checks. 

I love you, I love you, I love you most of all. 

"How long till we can make the jump!? They're on our tails!" Hunter was firing the tail gun, the Havoc Marauder being shot at by a pursuing ship. 

“As soon as Echo fixes the drive!” Tech was piloting and trying his best evasive maneuvers. 

“You wanna try this?! I’ve got one hand!” Echo yelled back from under a console. 

“I’ve got more.” The siren, who’d been in the hold trying to contain a two foot long squirming armadillo lizard creature, came sliding up into the bridge. “Baby Mega, get that lizard in box!” While Omega tried to tip the carrier on top of the little green creature, Shiani ducked under the console hurriedly. “Echo calibrate, I’ll wire.” 

Echo nodded, getting his scomp going while she spliced wires together with quick fingertips. Her nails were sharp enough to strip the insulation off them by herself. “Drive’s online! Make the jump.” 

Tech snapped the hyperdrive into life and they jolted out of harm’s way, Shiani sprawling out at the sudden lurch with Echo skidding across the floor behind her. In the hold, Wrecker and Omega were falling all over each other. Only Tech and Hunter, strapped into seats, were spared the indignity of going ass over teakettle. “Is everyone alright?” Hunter sighed. 

“Ruby’s loose! Wrecker’s scaring her!” Omega was still trying to chase the lizard around.

“Scaring her? She’s scaring me!” He huffed, being climbed like a tree by the scaly creature. 

Shiani rolled up off the floor, scooping the wiggly animal in her tentacles. “Open the box, Baby Mega. Don’t play with your food.”

Omega looked horrified. “Ruby isn’t food!”

The siren blinked, looking from Omega to Hunter. “Not a snack? Oh… Sorry, Ruby.” She smiled at the reptile, who cowed and scratched until Shiani set it down. Then it ran straight into the carrier and chittered until Omega shut it. 

“Were you trying to scare it into behaving or did you really want to eat it?” Wrecker rubbed his head where he’d hit the wall. 

“I’d eat anything once. But there’s probably not enough meat to be worth it.” She giggled. “Your head okay?”

“Yeah… just a headache again.”

“I’ll get a bacta patch.” She headed into their bare bones medbay, frowning as she looked at the supplies. 

"Everything alright, cyar'ika?" Tech called from the cockpit, handing the controls over to Echo and walking in to join her. It wasn’t the first time he’d called her the name, though she didn’t know what it meant. It made Tech raise an eyebrow, though, so she made a mental note to ask him later.

"Not enough. What if someone gets hurt?" She frowned, tapping her claws against her teeth. "We need money for supplies, and need work for money. But work means danger…"

"It is alright, my dear. We have made due with less." Tech lightly touched her arm, unaware of how her skin lit up with warmth at the brush of his glove. She wished he’d move his hand downward, curl his fingers into hers and pull her close. Or let her pull him. "Your concern is unwarranted."

"I can't help it."

"Your concern is endearing, but likely not good for your health. Come along, you should rest."

"You never rest either. Take a nap with me." She pleaded. “Just until we get back to Ord Mantell?”

"Alright." He sighed, but let her lead him by the hand to her room in the tailgun. He'd always struggled with a regular sleep schedule, working until he crashed and getting back to it after a short nap. His bunk was usually filled with parts and wires, the walls covered in chalk equations from his never resting mind. He barely used it anyway, falling asleep in the cockpit or work table most often. 

He still did it, but now he woke up with a blanket draped over him from her pile of them back here, or his goggles pulled up and set beside him to keep them from leaving marks on his face. More than once, he’d conked out sitting beside her while working and woken up with his head on her arm while she sat perfectly still for him. 

She sat up, propped up on her pillows, and he laid down with his head on her lap without thinking about it, talking about the lizard they’d stolen. Or not stolen, depending on how you looked at it. “They have remarkably sensitive underbellies, for being armored. They make very loyal pets, and are a good choice for anyone allergic to tookas-” He was rambling, arms in the air so he could gesture.

“What’s a tooka?” She smiled, enjoying the closeness as she put a blanket over him to make him comfy. 

“It is a domestic feline species, commonly kept as pets. They can be very temperamental, which is why Hunter used to refer to Crosshair as a feral tooka.” He explained, broken by a yawn. 

“You’re sleepy.” She smiled. “Take your goggles off. I’ll show you a trick.”

“I am not remotely tired. I am only laying here for your benefit, because you need rest.” He grumbled. “Our circadian rhythms are completely different, and once you fall asleep I will go back to the cockpit.” 

Shiani hummed, pulling his goggles off his face and hanging them on the armrest of the tailgun beside her. They’d left impressions on his cheeks and forehead again, and she wondered if it was uncomfortable or he was just so used to having his face squished he didn’t even notice. He blinked when she delicately stroked a claw from between his eyes and down the bridge of his nose, feather light and gentle. 

“What are you doing?” He yawned again, eyes getting heavier as she kept repeating the motion. 

“Shh.” She cooed, watching the furrow on his brow relax and his eyes slowly start to close. Her mother had done this when she and Kashae were young, to put them to sleep. It apparently worked on humans just as well, and she found herself smiling down at his sleeping face in her lap in only a few minutes. 

“He finally quit talking?” Echo stuck his head into the room after about an hour, raising an eyebrow at the sight of his brother out cold with his head on the siren’s lap and her tentacles draped over his chest and shoulders in a loose embrace. 

“I like when he talks. But he needed to rest.” She scrunched her nose. “He flew the whole way there, and ran the mission. The rest of us napped on the way.” 

“You look after him better than he does himself.” Echo noted, watching her smooth her fingers through Tech’s hair while he slept. 

“Of course I do.” She said quietly. “He’s my best friend.”

“You’re not fooling anyone, Shiani. We all know how you feel about him.”

“I’m not trying to fool you. He knows how I feel about him too… it’s just not what he wants. So I’ll be his friend forever, and be happy. My unrequited feelings are my problem, not his.”

“They aren’t unrequited, kid. You hear what he called you earlier?” Echo leaned in the doorframe. 

“Shar-eeka? He calls me that a lot.” She shrugged. “Dunno what it means, but it must not be bad, or he wouldn’t say it. Tech never makes fun of me.” 

“Cyar’ika. It’s Mando’a. Our donor was Mandalorian.” Echo explained. “It means ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart.’”

Shiani paused, looking back down at Tech’s peaceful face before one of her tentacles reached across the floor and brought her datapad to her. “Mando’a?”

“Mm. Most of us clones speak it.” Echo nodded. “Some of us adopted some aspects of the culture. I had a captain who put jaig eyes on his helmet when I was in the 501st.” 

She brought the datapad to her face and started furiously typing, needing to know everything she could in case Tech said something else to her. He’d been calling her sweetheart for weeks… what else did he say? “I’ll look into it.” 

Echo chuckled. “And they said I was a nerd.”

“You’re an ARC trooper.” She glanced up. “I thought that meant you’d be more into action than study.”

“The clone passed out in your lap is a genetically-enhanced blackops commando. No one in this squad does what they’re expected to do.” Echo grinned.

Shiani looked back at Tech. “Maybe I fit in better than I thought. Not doing what I was supposed to is how I got exiled.”

Echo crouched down, even with her with his elbows on his knees. “Sounds like a good story.”

She chuckled. “Sirens are forbidden from going to the surface, or letting anyone see us. I rescued Tech from drowning…” She could still hear Kashae’s voice, demanding she drown the cadet that would grow into this man she loved so much now. She could never have imagined how important he would become to her… or the division between her and her brother. He hadn’t even felt like her brother in that moment, her memories tarnished by the vicious looked he’d given her. “The king ordered me to kill him, and he’d let me stay. Exile is the worst punishment a siren can be given… we’re clan people. Being alone is torture… but I couldn’t hurt Tech. So I chose exile. They stripped my job, my name, my inheritance… but it was worth it. Every time Tech takes a breath, it’s worth it.” 

Echo whistled. “They told you to kill him?” 

Shiani nodded, her tentacles curling more protectively around her best friend. “Better to be alone than see him die.” She said softly. “I believed it then, and I believe it even more every day.” 

Echo nodded. “You’re a brave woman, Shiani.”

“Coming from a Chainbreaker, that’s a big compliment.” She smiled, pulling the datapad back to her face to start studying everything Mandalorian she could get her suckers on. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll handle the landing, so he can nap. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Wrecker and Omega pleaded their way into going out almost as soon as they arrived in the bar. Shiani good-naturedly took the lizard cage from Wrecker as he gave Hunter the same tooka eyes as Omega. "Where do you go after every mission?"

"We have a tradition!" Omega giggled. "Please, Hunter? Please?!"

The sergeant was a sucker for the kid and they all knew it. "Don't go far."

Omega grinned and took off with Wrecker by the hand. Tech raised an eyebrow at Hunter. “Do you have any idea where they go?”

“Not a clue. Do you?”

“Negative.” Tech glanced over at Shiani. The two of them usually had their own little post-mission ritual of walking around the city after it got dark. She liked to look at the lights, and he didn’t like her going off on her own in such a seedy area. 

Echo rolled his eyes. “Can we get paid before you two run off?”

Shiani nodded. “Got the lizard! It’s still trying to bite my fingers, though.” 

“You did threaten to eat it.” Hunter laughed, guiding the remaining team into Cid’s office. “Weirdest looking thing I’ve ever seen. I wonder what the client wants with it.” Shiani was glad Ruby was now the weirdest thing he’d ever seen. She was still very self conscious of her mouth after his one comment on Salucemi.

Cid huffed as Shiani set the cage on the desk. “Maybe it’s a pet. Maybe they want to make it into a stew. I didn’t ask and I don’t care.”

“As long as you get paid.” Sighed Hunter. 

“If I do, you do Dark and Broody. Here.” She slid a case of credits to the sergeant, who frowned. 

“You said this job paid three times this.” 

“For me. You guys owe me.” Cid snarked. 

Shiani’s nonexistent brows furrowed. “Owe? What do we owe for?”

“Here, Suckers.” The trandoshan tossed a manifest towards her. 

Shiani squawked, catching it in both hands. “Rude!”

Tech nudged her elbows up so he could read it over her shoulder. His eyebrow cocked. “Rations, fuel, docking fees… what is Mantell Mix, Hunter?”

Hunter groaned. “I have no idea."

"The point is, you guys owe me. You'd need a big score to settle us up… that thing on Corellia would have been perfect." Cid shrugged. "So you gotta figure it out unless you want to see my ugly side."

Tech glanced at Shiani. "This isn't her ugly side?"

Cid growled. "What was that, Goggles?"

Shiani pushed the manifest back into Cid's hands firmly. "Now wait a second-"

A clatter of blaster fire startled an argument from happening, and everyone darted down into the bar. The usual crowd was running out, leaving behind only a single figure in a poncho. Shiani frowned, blaster up and out with the guys. Her eyes moved over the sturdy figure, locking onto white plastoid leg armor. "It’s a reg!"

The man holstered his weapon and pulled his hood off. "You teaching the new kid to talk shit, Hunter?"

The sergeant relaxed immediately. "Rex."

Echo pushed forward to embrace the blonde man. Tech lowered his blaster and pushed Shiani's down gently. "This is a friend. Captain Rex assisted us when we rescued Echo."

Shiani nodded, holstering her weapon and letting Tech lead her over. "Rex." She repeated his name to be sure she heard it correctly. "Nice to meet you."

Rex gave her a thoughtful look. He looked weathered, with a fresh scar on his temple. "You're a unique one, little miss. Where'd they find you?"

"Kamino." She took his offered hand and shook it. 

Hunter chuckled. "That's Shiani. She’s a native Kaminoan species, and Tech's best friend."

Rex raised an eyebrow. "I dunno what I expected but this isn’t it, Tech"

Shiani blinked and looked curiously from Rex to Tech. “Should I be offended?”

“I do not believe so-” Tech started, when Wrecker’s loud voice drowned him out. 

“Hey, it’s the Cap!” 

Rex was picked up in a bone crushing hug as Omega trailed after him with wide eyes. “I thought you guys didn’t like regs?”

“This one we like!” Wrecker laughed. 

“Maybe.” Shiani smiled, reaching out to put her hand on Omega’s head. “I’m still deciding. This is Captain Rex, Baby Mega”

“She’s a clone too.” Hunter told Rex. “We rescued her off Kamino when we escaped. Shiani helped us get out, and we’ve all been together since then.”

Omega smiled as Rex knelt down in front of her, smiling. “I’ve met a lot of clones, but never one like you.”

She inspected Rex’s face for a minute, nose wrinkled in adorable concentration before grinning. “You’re a generation one!”

“How’d you know that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“The lines on your face.”

“... Yeah. I guess I’ve been around…” Rex looked stricken. 

Tech had an unimpressed look on his face while everyone else was laughing. “Omega has a valid point, I do not see what is so entertaining.” 

“It’s not nice to point out wrinkles.” Shiani nudged him gently with her elbow. 

“It is a natural progression of the aging process and nothing to be self conscious about. With our altered genetics, it is only logical that we would-” Tech was silenced with a clawed fingertip on his lips.

“Not about logic, Tech. It hurts people’s feelings. Never mention anything that can't be fixed in five minutes."

Omega looked around Rex at Shiani, listening to the gentle lesson. The siren had a simplistic way of counteracting the brilliant clone's accidental rudeness. Tech sighed. "Alright. I will… make an effort."

"I definitely like you, Miss." Rex chuckled, holding out a hand which she shook with a smile. “You’re nat-born, so you got a last name?”

“Not anymore. I’m an exile.” She shook her head and glanced over Rex’s shoulder with a concerned look on her face.

Behind him, Wrecker sat down at the bar and rubbed his head. "We got any more bacta patches?"

Shiani frowned. "You used the last one. Head hurt again?"

"Again?" Rex frowned. "This happen a lot?"

"Unfortunately." Tech sighed. "But if you are concerned about the inhibitor chips, you need not be. It would seem our deviant nature has rendered them ineffective."

"Except Crosshair…" Hunter shook his head. The missing brother hung in the air between them all the time, depressing everyone. Even Shiani, who didn't know him all that well, felt it. Tech was adaptable, but he didn't like change… and life without Crosshair was a big change. 

"You haven't removed your chips?" Rex’s hands drifted towards his pistols. "You have no idea how dangerous you are, especially to them. You can't control it. I couldn't." 

Shiani's tentacles wrapped around both his wrists, yanking his hands over his head. He came off the ground, startled, and found himself watching the corners of her mouth twitch like they were about to split her face in half. “If the chips have to come out, you tell us how.” She hissed softly. “But you will not shoot.” 

He stared at her for a long minute, then glanced at Hunter, who'd put an arm up defensively. "I'm not arguing on that point. I'd feel better with them gone." The sergeant nodded. 

Rex sighed. "Glad to hear it. I've buried enough brothers… you can let me go, Miss Shiani. I won't shoot."

She released him, stepping back and putting a hand over her mouth as she returned to Tech’s side. He glanced at her sideways. "That is one of the best soldiers in the GAR that you almost got into a fight with."

"I’m not scared." She mumbled.

"Captain Rex is nearly twice your weight."

"So? I wrestle with Wrecker."

Rex chuckled, years of Skywalker and Tano related banthashit making him pretty close to unflappable. "Scrappy girl. Gimme some time to figure out a plan. I'll be in touch." He nodded and pulled his hood up. "Take care of yourselves."

Hunter put an arm around Omega, who'd been upset by the threat of a fight. "See you soon, Captain."

Shiani looked up at Tech as Rex left, hand still over her mouth. There was an uncomfortable prickling in the energy around him. "Tech? You okay?"

The genius's eyes darted to Wrecker, concern pinching his eyebrows together. "... I am going back to the ship to work on something."

"I’ll come help." She nodded, and followed him as he headed out, having to jog to keep up with his long-legged strides. His face was impassive when she finally caught up, but he was moving so quickly… she knew Tech too well. He was upset.

He dropped to the worktable and started gutting an older handheld, eyes narrowed. He was silent, purposeful, and she sat down across from him and handed him tools. To anyone else, he just looked like an obsessive workaholic. Even to his brothers, he would appear to be trying to quiet his mind by keeping his hands busy. Not to the siren, who had tuned herself into the language of his mind until she was fluent.

"You’re not okay." Shiani finally murmured after an hour, when his grip on the tools softened some and he wasn't yanking wires quite so hard. "What's wrong?"

He set his tools down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I made a mistake. A dangerous one, that has put the entire crew at risk. I am seldom wrong, but this time I was… the process of coming to terms with that error is unpleasant."

She reached across the table with her hands open until he gave her his free one. She cradled it in both of hers, rubbing across his knuckles with her thumbs. "What mistake?"

"I assumed that because our inhibitor chips had not activated at the time of Order 66, they were non-functional. Rex made it clear that this was not the case. And Wrecker’s frequent headaches…" His leg started bouncing. "He has always complained at any discomfort, and has a history of head injuries. I did not make the connection. I should have. It is obvious now."

"You think Wrecker’s chip is gonna go off?" She frowned. 

"If it does, it could be catastrophic. He is the most physically powerful of us, and it would be nearly impossible to restrain him if he became violent. It would take multiple stun rounds to subdue him, if we even had time to draw our weapons." Tech finally moved his other hand from his face and looked at her. "In his correct state of mind, Wrecker is obnoxious but kind hearted. If he were not… he would be capable of killing any of us with his bare hands. Even if we did not perish, he would logically then leave to join Crosshair in the Empire. I am… not prepared for that. Not again.” 

Shiani brought Tech’s hand to her face, nuzzling into his palm. “I understand.” She said softly. “The way you say his name when he comes up… you miss Crosshair. And you’re scared for Wrecker. But it’s not your fault. Not your mistake.”

“It is an unacceptable level of danger for you…” He whispered, thumb stroking her cheek softly. “I do not know what concerns me more; that Wrecker could potentially hurt you if his chip were to activate… or that I could.” The very idea was intolerable, that his own mind could betray him. The brain he was usually so proud of was a ticking time bomb for the woman in front of him and his siblings.

Shiani leaned over the table a little more, holding Tech’s hand to her face. “If your chip went off, I’d keep searching until I found the real Tech again. No matter how long it took.” 

She knew very well that Tech would never stop looking for the real Crosshair either. He wouldn’t say much about it, the fact he’d even mentioned the missing brother was a miracle in and of itself. Tech kept his emotions tucked away under his chest plate, sorting through them in solitude. That hadn’t stopped Shiani from hearing the barest strain in his voice when he’d said “Not again” that let her know that deep down, he was in immense pain. Him sharing it with her meant she could offer comfort. 

She nuzzled into his palm quietly as he thought over her words. "You would keep searching for me? Even if I did something unspeakable?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I’d search for you forever. My hearts would always lead me back to you, one way or the other." She admitted it quietly, hoping she wasn’t overstepping the invisible boundary between friend and lover that he’d erected and she dreamed of tearing down. “The real you would be under the chip. That’s the Tech I know, and the Tech I wouldn’t let go.”

He smiled faintly. "I hardly feel I deserve that…" But he still didn’t let go of her face as it sat in his palm like a grand prize. "Still, thank you."

She looked down at the gutted handheld. "What are you making?"

"A scanner. I need to be able to locate the chips to remove them… somehow. I am not familiar with brain surgery, and an error could cost any of us our lives."

"Teach me how to help." She offered him her hands. "We’ll figure out what comes next after we build it."

"I am… not sure I even know where to begin." He sighed. "I do not like admitting to distraction, but… I did not see the danger before. What else have I missed?" He felt the clench of anxiety in his chest again. He'd messed up. He was unsure, distracted in this state which could only lead to more errors, but there was no time to settle himself when any moment they could face a chip activation. Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, or even Tech himself could come unglued and destroy everything that mattered-

Shiani let out a soft note, layered vibrato chasing every thought from his head. He couldn't help but relax into it, sinking to his elbows on the table. When the sound petered out, she lifted his chin with a tentacle. "We do this together. Not everything has to sit on your shoulders. Okay?"

He blinked up into those massive teal eyes and nodded slowly. "... okay."

He'd made a mistake. But… statistically, another was unlikely. Especially with Shiani right beside him, helping him get through the uncertainty. 

He hadn’t been wrong with Hunter asked him how he’d survived the disastrous aquatics training that led him to her. He had been immensely lucky.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Cryptoid Seeker SS courting Megatron by bringing him his enemies (injured from capture, not dead. Still fun to hunt).

I imagine seekers having a specific ritual for non-seeker mates. Maybe zooming around, doing general Arial feats, bring their mates the injured enemies as an offering (similar but dulled down version of the seeker to seeker wing offering)?

Btw, the zooming and offering thing is found in Falcons. That, or they bring them Shiney things. But eh.

I also feel like cybermorphs courting would be super stupid. Like a wasps. Like, sitting on the ground, staring right at their desired mate, making a very specific buzzing sound kind of stupid. That, or maybe something like a white pufferfish (who draws weird geometric patterns in the sand to attract a mate). Imagine both. Megs draws a circle thing, sits in the middle, and stares at SS. That'd be hilarious.

Maybe some hidden horror with some mantis like behaviors? But combined with some wasp behavior, resulting in a bite to the neck cables that numbs the mates senses, making them unaware enough not to hold back? That'd be fragged up.

Or even? Some hidden secret that only seekers get affected in a different way than most. Like, they end up with seeker eggs that hold the cybermorphs eggs inside? And when the eggs do the explody thing, the cybermorphs are the squishy inside, having already combined with the seekerling to make this super parasitic version that makes housing one 10x worse.

Sorry for the long rant. I love the cryptiods.

Do not ever apologize for going on long rants, they genuinely make my day so much better 💖 first of all I love everything you've put here, but BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!

I need to know more about the seekerling-cybermorph crossover. Tell me everything. Like the inside of the eggs, I wanna know every little detail about it. When you say the explodey thing, do you mean the cryptid seekerlings rupturing from their egg sacs early and seeking host in nearby fuel tanks? Cuz that's not always what happens with them, and is in fact an emergency defense mechanism to maximize survival chance. Usually they just carefully break free of their shells when their development is complete. So, tell me about these eggs, squishy cybermorph filling, I need to know! Gimme every. Single. Detail 👀 cuz like. All my mind is envisioning is like. A two layer egg, whetein the baby cybermorph is the center, kinda like the yolk, and an individual baby seekerling is in the outermembrane, and. Obviously that's not what's happening 😅 but super parasitic babies that are 10 times worse? I need to know!!

Also just, hear me out 👀 I love all these courtship ideas, but I'd like to pitch something to make it even funnier. Cybermorphs are very recent development on Cybertron in the grand scheme of things, and have only been around for a handful of generations (probably less than 5). Megatron is from the very first gen, so consider: even he doesn't entirely understand courtship. It's entirely instinctual and the logical part of him doesn't understand these weird urges. Like... what about this weird vibration/frequency he's giving off is attractive? The weird geometry, why is that considered attractive? He's a stranger to his own biology--the entire planet is, really--and secretly he's rather frustrated and embarrassed about it. He tries to match Starscream's energy, but what can he do for someone that can cross the entire planet in only a few megacycles? He can't just leave his hive and go gallavanting around just to impress the potential sire of his future children. Maybe he turns to tactics and battlefield prowess to impress him; it's a good thing too, because Starscream loves some good bloodshed 🤭

I'm also super down for the numbing bite. Cryptid seekers already spit venom, and the cybermorph biology is largely underdeveloped, so honestly either of them could. Maybe Starscream is venomous, Megatron is poisonous XD maybe he produces some kind of intoxicating pheromone that dulls the senses or hypnotizes, as a queen variant 🤔 or maybe it's a toxic, addictive aphrodisiac? Maybe he can produce multiple varieties! Something that releases inhibitions and makes his partner go hard, fast, and uncaring, with fertilization being the only important thing

Regardless. Terrifying parasitic Megatron and Starscream being fuck buddies that coparent? I love it

[wheretheharekissesthefox]

Deep like water: Chapter 5 – Letting go of Mystra

Two years after his faux pas, Gale had found some type of normality again. He could draw from the Weave again, but it was a sorry imitation of what he once had been capable of. At least, he could conjure portals again. This helped him and Tara on their travels to hunt down magical artefacts to ease the Orb's hunger. Gale's mistake had been huge and the consequences memorable. Now, he had to put things straight again, and after succeeding, he wanted to seek out Mystra's forgiveness. Maybe, she'd have mercy.

After pulling some more all-nighters, Gale decided to travel to Baldur's Gate. The city was rife with magic, wizards, scholars, and perhaps solutions. Maybe, there, he would find someone who could help him with the ticking time bomb in his chest. Gale got excited, new hope flickered to life.

"Are you for certain you want to go without my company?" Tara asked. "You haven't been on your own in two years."

"I know, but I need to do this on my own," Gale explained to her. "I need to prove myself that I'm still capable of taking care of myself."

Tara sighed, but let him go. Gale thanked her by leaving a huge pile of Beholder jerky behind. He knew it was her favourite.

"Gale," the tressym said as he was about to leave their home. "Please, the beard. Get rid of it."

The addressed chuckled.

"I will as soon as I get back. I promise."

He walked outside – and then, everything went down the drain. Again. To his horror, Gale was kidnapped by a mind flayer ship, infected with an illithid parasite, and crammed into a holding pot. He couldn't make out much what was going on outside of his prison, but there were more pods with more people inside. Gale didn't know how long he was stuck there, but it was almost a relief when the ship crashed. The wizard whirled through the air and used up all his strength to call upon the Weave to conjure a portal. Of course, he got stuck in it. Gale was more annoyed than worried about it. After a while, someone strong took his arm and pulled him through the portal. Gale flailed and landed on his knees. He got up with a groan, dusted himself off (he's mother had raised a gentleman after all) and then looked at the short but broad, androgynous human with a tasteless hairstyle. They were accompanied by an elegant pale elf, a reserved cleric, and a sour-faced githyanki.

What an unusual cheery bunch, the wizard mused.

"Hello, I'm Gale of Waterdeep," he introduced himself then, shaking the other person's hand. "Apologies. I'm usually better that this."

"No need to apologise. Are you all right?" asked the woman (at least, they sounded like one, but Gale didn't want to assume).

"A bit shocked" he replied, trying to sound cheerful (how did one speak the right way to others again to be liked?), "but, friend, it's a a relief and pleasure to make your acquaintance. – Say, but I know you, don't I? In a matter of speaking. You were on the nautiloid as well."

"Yes, I was. We all were," she told him, gesturing at her companions. "I'm Tav, by the way, and these are Astarion, Shadowheart and Lae'zel. It seems like we all survived the crash of the mind flayer's ship."

Gale hummed, nodding.

"Then, I can only assume you too were on the receiving end of a rather unwelcome insertion in the ocular region."

Tav made a face, muttering: "Couldn't have phrased it more repellently myself, but go on."

"This insertee we speak of, this parasite. Are you aware that after a period of excruciating gestation, it'll turn us into mind flayers? It's a process known as 'ceremorphosis', and let me assure you; it is to be avoided!" explained Gale. Then, he eyed Tav up and down, adding: "You don't happen to be a cleric by any chance, do you? A doctor? Surgeon? Uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?"

"I'm afraid not, I'm just a humble travelling bard," she replied. "But Shadowheart's a cleric and she said it's futile to try casting spells."

The addressed squinted at Gale, suspiciously.

"You seem to know enough about our condition to realise that it's beyond most clerics' skills."

"Most? No doubt. But I find myself hoping to be in the presence of the few. You don't happen to be one of them?" the wizard blurted out before he could stop himself from seeming rude.

Shadowheart glared at him and Gale suddenly found the thought of biting off his own tongue rather appealing.

"I don't think anyone of us can heal us from the parasites," Tav remarked.

"As we established, few enough can. It's not exactly a common affliction," Gale replied. "We most certainly need a healer – and soon too. How about we lend each other a helping hand once more and look for a healer together?"

Tav smiled at him.

"Sounds like a plan. You're welcome to join us. Lae'zel thinks a nearby hidden githyanki crèche holds the solution to our problem, and since we're all desperate to get rid of our unwanted passengers, we'll try anything that sounds reasonable."

The wizard nodded, but it didn't escape him how Astarion eyed him judgingly, Shadowheart kept glaring at him, and Lae'zel tsked disapprovingly. But none of them said anything. Gale forced himself to sound optimistic again.

"Most excellent! A parasite shared, is a parasite half. Or, uhm, something to that effect."

He cringed about his own words and Tav bit back an amused laugh.

"Oh, but before you think you're about to embark on a journey with most ill-mannered a man; thank you for pulling me out of that stone." Gale gave a little bow to emphasise his words of gratitude. "It was an act of foresighted kindness, I assure you, and I have the feeling ample opportunities will present themselves for me to return the favour."

Tav nodded at him, still smiling, and said: "Come on then, let's go."

Gale followed the group uphill. The Orb in his chest pulsated menacingly and he straightened up.

He was Gale of Waterdeep, son of Morena Dekarios, dearest friend of Tara the tressym, former pupil of Elminster Aumar, and Mystra's former lover, prodigy, and Chosen. If anyone could solve these problems, then it was him.

[blubushie]

Well I'm taking you at your word, then! Round 1: How did you come to do what you do? Was it a sudden impulse/ jumping off the deep end, or a slow and steady march into it? Have you always wanted to hunt nuisance animals for money or did you come by it while pursuing something else at first?

In short: How did Blu become bushie? *chin hands*

It was 100% a result of me losing my mind and going off the deep end.

FUN STORY TIME.

I don't like people. In this kinda way.

"EW. PEOPLE."

People are strange and cruel and nasty and sometimes they'll kill lizards in front of you when you're in year 4 because they know you like them. People do mean things to other things just to hurt someone they don't like, so I don't like people. And there's a fucking lot of people everywhere. There's a lot of people in Alice Springs. There's a LOT of people in California.

And I don't like people.

I'll admit that I got into my own head a lot (still do; I zone out often). And I got this idea, right? The Swagmen of Olde. They lived in the bush with a lot less, er, support than what we have now. Modern day swagman. Revive an old Australian tradition. So I was say fifteen and we got out for I think the term 1 holidays, aaand I was officially a missing child for a week because I packed my swag and disappeared into the Outback. I lived off bottled water, native wells, and my scroggin ran out on day 2 so after that I survived off quandong and witchetty grubs (note to readers, don't go into the Outback without a machete because trying to dig out witchetty grubs with a knife will blister your palms). Basically stayed alive by making my own shelter from shit my dad taught me, or things I read about in books.

Anyway the NTPF eventually put out a chopper for me and dragged me kicking and screaming to civilisation (I was so feral they put me in the fucking divvy van) and it sucked (also I made the newspaper, not the point). But in the 5 days I was gone I just... found some inner peace, I suppose? I was talk of the town and over the next year there were three or four additional attempts to return to the Outback until Mum (and the NTPF) got tired of me trying to dehydrate myself to death and brought us both back to California.

And my California town is bigger than Alice Springs. The town has a population of ~80,000 and there's people fucking everywhere and I hate it.

So I did the same thing I did in Australia and routinely went walkabout to the point our local sheriff knew me by name. It got to the point the LOCALS knew me by name. Half would call in and report me when I was out walking on behalf of my father, the other were of the wildchild mentality and had an unspoken agreement of "Do not send Blu back to that house." (My parents aren't abusive or anything, the locals were just of the idea that at 16 I was finding my own way in the world like kids did back in the 50s, which... Yeah, I was.)

I was given an ankle monitor because I was a flight risk, and I stopped leaving.

Anyway I left high school, got a job working part-time graveyard at Dad's insistence on doing something with my life, and on the side I started talking to the neighbours who know I'm one hell of a shot (courtesy of me recently winning a county sharpshooting competition). And they get this bright idea, right, they've got a lot of coyotes on their property trying to lift their sheep. So I start killing coyotes. They're proud of my work, they tell their neighbours, I start getting paid $25 per pig I kill on their property so long as they keep the bacon. Fine deal for everyone involved.

Between pest control and graveyard and some other odd jobs I made ~$15k over 6 months and I still had this niggling idea in my head of going bush permanently. At 18 I bought my FIRST ute and went east. And that ute was fucking old. Not a '99 Ford, an '87 Ford F-150 with over 300,000mi on it. I figured I'd get to somewhere around New Mexico before it'd cark it because that poor bastard didn't sound right from the get-go.

And cark it it did! But I also learned a few things from my dad, and so I jerry rigged that cunt (which consisted of removing the faulty ignition and replacing it with a fucking screwdriver). I got it started and working again. Got it to Texas, got the ignition fixed, and took jobs in the southwest for 6 months.

And then I got sick of the southwest. I saw the towns I frequented become gentrified. They lost their personality. The mum and pop stores shut down and were replaced with Targets and Walmarts and the land started seeing construction and in six months I'd lost all hope for it.

So I said "fuck this shit" and decided, for the fifth time in my life, that I was going to the Outback. I went back to California, got my passport and all my necessary identification, had a MASSIVE argument with my parents because they didn't want me to leave, but I left anyway and sold the ute and I took a bus to San Francisco, got lost, ended up sleeping in an alleyway at some point which isn't important except to remember that I fucking hate cities, but eventually got my way to the airport with about $10k in cash and debit and I got the first flight to Sydney.

All without a fucking mobile phone.

And I spent every dollar I had save for $2000 on a '99 F-150. And my first night I bought a bottle of plonk (strange buying booze at 19 years old). I smashed it in the bush over my ute's roo bar and I christened her Matilda, my steadfast companion who will come waltzing with me. And I drove her up to Brisbane, and then to Cairns, and while in Cairns I was stopped and detained because of my rifle, and then that was confiscated for a month until I got my firearms licence, and then I had to go BACK to Brisbane to pick it up again but before I did that I met a bloke and spent my last $2k on a camper for Matilda.

So now I'm stuck in Australia with not a dollar to my name, no means of getting money on account of not having a rifle, and a new-christened ute with a camper but no way to pay for petrol.

So I drive up the track, end up heading west until Matilda ran out of petrol, then walked 2km or so to the nearest station who happened to have cattle. Aussies take care of our own. Told the bloke there the story over tea and supper, he says I can help muster if I know how to ride a horse.

Boy, do I.

So I do that for a few months, say hooroo to him after he helps me siphon petrol into my tank, and I return to Brisbane and get my rifle back. I make my way back through QLD, stop for a week in Longreach, then get another job as a stockman. For maybe a year I was a full-fledged stockman and met my heart horse and I met the first girl I ever loved, but then I stopped being a stockman, worked at sea on a fishing vessel for a few months, come back, and ended up getting a job working some pastoral land near there dealing with a small pack of wild dogs who'd been lifting the bloke's sheep, and I start making a name for myself again as one hell of a sharpshooter. And then I got my commercial shooter's licence.

Rest is history!

[boliv-jenta]

So my brain decided to start a multi chapter fic about a character I know nothing about. Again.

When the West Was Wild (working title)

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Silva x OFC (no description, a last name is given in later chapters)

Story summary: A women making her own way in the lawless West has her quiet night interrupted by a stranger in need. While helping him she finds a few unmet needs of her own.

Chapter summary: She had planned for a quiet night but you know what they say about the best laid plans...

Mentions of adultery and gun violence.

Tonight was her favourite night of the week. Not that it had much competition. Her life was quite. Far from the adventure she had expected when she had moved out west from New York. When her former husband had turned tail and fled at the first sign of trouble, she had stayed. Her heels had well and truly been dug in when she found out that her father's outrage about the whole sorry situation was directed at her. Not at the man who had swore to stand by her, yet left her to survive on her own. And survive she had, thrived even. She played her husband and father at their own publishing game. A woman of her social standing, well educated, roughing it out west? The newspapers in New York ate up her articles. It paid her a fair wage. Much more than most women could expect out her. Not without getting her hands dirty, one way or the other.

In her articles, she wrote about anything and everything. It was her honest, straightforward voice that found her acclaim. Her accounts of conversations with the locals. With old cowboys that had ridden halfway across the country. Spend countless nights under the stars, even more hours in the saddle. Veterans that witnessed horrors that she couldn't image all in the effort to build a great nation. Their thousand yard stare making her wonder if it could ever be worth it.

She wrote about her survival. How she had learned to fend for herself. How she had become friends with the women from a local indigenous tribe. She also added the atrocities they had been through to her article, that part never saw the light of day. She wrote recipes, those were very popular. The rich, spoil, elite got a kick out of read what some people would eat to survive. She even wrote all about how her husband, who upon hearing about a few robberies around their quiet little town, had packed up and left. Using what little money they had to hire a some muscle to escort him back home. That didn't see they light of day either but it made he feel a little better that at least some of his peers read how pathetic he was.

When they came out here, she was under no illusions to how bad it could get. Her mother had been a nurse in the war. Raised in a tiny cabin, much like they one she stood in now, with several siblings, the woman knew a thing or two about having a rough go of things. It was only when her mother met her father that her life got easier. She made sure her daughter knew how to handle herself. Her husband, however came from old money on both sides. He never had to work a day in his life. The most he did was throw his weight around at the printers before heading to his gentleman's club. He thought an adventure in the wild west would be exciting. More like he wanted it for bragging rights to impress the young help at his club. Who she had since found out, he had bedded several of during their short marriage. She refused to dwell on that, she was here, supporting herself and she was going to be proud of that. The past three months she had done well for herself. The cabin was ready for the oncoming winter. Between her modest wage and her newly developed hunting and gathering skills, she has kept herself well fed. After a bout of illness, she was even starting to gain a little weight back.

Smiling to herself, she set about her Friday night routine. The day was taken up with chores, that of her own and of her older neighbours. Mary and Thomas were still in great shape, some jobs were just better done with help. They often returned the favour. Thomas had helped her chop wood, the last of her chores, earlier so the night was hers for bathing and reading. The tin bath set up in the middle of the room had been her only extravagance. Bathing was one of the few home comforts she refused to give up. Bathing, reading and a shot of whiskey now and then. The whiskey would come later. Just before she settled down into her bed made for two. The extra room was usually a luxury she enjoyed, it was only now and then it gave her reason to dwell. She wasn't looking forward to being alone over the long, cold winter but she might actually be able to finish her novel. Every cloud has a silver lining. That what her mother always said.

The water warmed in the harth as she stripped down to her slip. The nights were still warm in the fall, the fire keep the room cosy. It was as she pour the first lot of hot water into the tub that she heard it. A high pitched whinny of a horse. It sounds scared or in pain. Both of those options filled her with dread. She couldn't find it in her to leave a horse in distress so she made her way to the window. Shouting joined the horses whining. Followed by three loud gunshots. Self preservation made her hit the floor and scramble for her shot gun. She had no idea what made her open the door.

The lamp light from her windows only illuminated so far. She could pick out shapes in the dark if she focused. Two horses. Both agitated. Neither had a rider. One rider seemed to be on the floor. As peered into the darkness, trying to make out the condition of the body on the floor more clearly a man appeared in front of her. It all happened so fast, she barely managed to get the shot gun up in front of her before he was right there, his broad form crowding her. One arm up holding his shoulder, blood pouring from between his fingers. The other arm slapping the barrel of her gun away. His brown eyes were wide. With fear? Pleading? She couldn't tell. She didn't have much time either as he promptly passed out in front of her, landing heavily at her feet.

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