#i swear i can't | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

holybagelsstuff · 6 months

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Anton Chigurh could snap me like a match and I'd thank him

#i swear i can't #this man makes me feel so many things at once #no country for old men #anton chigurh

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moonymoon90 · 3 months

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"How to have your human miss a day at work - an essay by Ahsoka"

Go over your human early in the morning and start purring, while they are distracted in awe by your cuteness, slowly place yourself over their chest and put your paws on the sides of their neck and start sleeping, if you perceive the human trying to move, just move a little tightening your arma around their neck, keep the position untile they surrender and take a day off

#cat #cats of tumblr #cuteness #cute cats #she spent nearly an hour like this #i swear I can't #and yes i was going to say to the lab that i was not available today

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emilnikos · 9 months

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I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight

#i can't believe i have to day it but autism /is/ a disablity. its disabling. meltdowns are part of that.#'oh this is a lukewarm take' you dumbshit fucks have been throwing the word neurodivergent and meltdown around so #casually they have both been said at me with the same disdain as a swear word. you guys will accept making fun of autistic people #if someone jn your circle who is 'cool' does it first. at your big ages. shut the hell up

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spyglassrealms · 2 years

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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped'#I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

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retquits · 1 month

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i only recently realized march's roots are showing in his summer portraits 🫣

#my art #MK/RET #fields of mistria #fom march #fields of mistria fanart #art #artists on tumblr #i swear the devs put some kinda sauce in their charas #every single one is SO CHARMING #and you can't spell charm without march 🤭

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monikokii · 8 months

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Whoops. No more reading at work (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

#ao3 #archive of our own #Soooo #hope im not fired ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭#ITS EVEN BLOCKED IF IM USING THE PHONE APP!?#can't use my hotspot bc I work in the basement 🤦#only reading sfw stuff I SWEAR

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technically-human · 1 month

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Recharging II (Chorb version)

#payneland #edwin x charles #dead boy detectives #dbda #you know the very first dbda comic i made!!#i tried to color it in a similar way but i think i failed #charles has fun as an orb but there are some things he can't do #like talk or use a cricket bat #edwin is genuinely trying to be supportive i swear #kinda

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raycatzdraws · 10 months

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Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu wild #lu legend #lu hyrule #fairy hyrule #I drew most of these on my weekends at camp #hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers #man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way #I was there 6+ weeks straight #some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town #a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf #we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers'#AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do #so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol #that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME #but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol #I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf #Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D '#and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn?#caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting #calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us #for emotional support #her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay #anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner #I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE #we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY

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grezzirossi · 6 months

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My Bg3 Party with the cutest barbarian and 3 pathetic guys.

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hyperkitten224 · 5 months

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the ragdoll is a lesbian: my little dumb personal compilation

#the amazing digital circus #amazing digital circus #tadc #buttonblossom #harlequilt #pomni x ragatha #ragapom #ragatha x pomni #ragatha #pomni #tadc spoilers #tadc episode 2 #there's no gotdang heterosexual explanation for anything she does I swear #also forgive me for writing all over the thing. lmao #can't believe I forgot to point out the wrist flick. omfg

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deaddee-anime-brownfanlady · 1 year

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#political #Israel #palestine #for real though #israel palestine conflict #gaza #Hamas #I swear seeing some people on this site being equally antisemitic and Islamophobic in regards to this awful conflict is headache inducing #Like I can't FUCKING believing that you have those that are celebrating the deaths of innocent regular civilian's and kids is Fucked up!?#And then you have those supporting what Hamas is doing and thinks that's its for the “Good” of the Palestinian people.....#It's basically like saying the Taliban knows what's “good” for all Muslim people which you should know is untrue and total BS #I swear some people -_-

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egophiliac · 6 months

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But … how the staff swear? We Need to know that too…(of you want of course … love your art and your Amazing humor!!!)

(thank you! :D)

Trein: said 'damn' once when he was sixteen, still lays awake at night in embarrassment about his deplorable lapse in manners.

Vargas: swears like an old-timey carnival strongman. lots of "poppycock" and "what the devil" and an occasional "deuces!" (this makes classes very confusing for poor Deuce)

Crowley: doesn't intentionally swear, but every once in a while he'll, like...put together a presentation on the new staff policies or something that builds up to an acronym which, by complete coincidence, spells out something shockingly depraved.