#i swear i never really got over him even though it was over 8 years ago

[niallandtommo]

.

[thesharktanksdriver]

Being Jason Todd's kid (Platonic)

Warning: at the beginning y/n has a shitty mom and neglectful (+abandoning them) plus a mention of Jason’s death of being beaten

You knew for a long time your mom didn’t love you, even your young 8 year old mind could tell

From the way she looked at you with disdain and disgust

She was still your mom though so you loved her

Loved her despite the yelling and sending you to your room with a granola bar as your dinner

It was fine

Everything was fine

All you had to do was keep doing your best to make her love you like in the books you’d read at school

So you did your best to appease her

You’d bring her the sticks that would create the smelly wisps of smoke that would stain her gnashing teeth as she yelled at you

Or bring in the amber coloured drink in glass bottle she liked

You tried it once cause the tap didn’t make water anymore but you didn’t like it

It felt as if it was burning your throat and tongue as it slithered down your parched throat like venom from a snake

When she feel asleep on her chair you’d place a blanket around her but left the tv on

She got mad at you cause of that the first time

You made rules in your mind on how to properly dance around the tiggers that would make her angry

Some you didn’t really understand as to why she got angry over it but you avoided it anyways

Just keeping quiet and silently going about your day to make her as happy as you could

She never took you out much, often leaving you at home when she’d get groceries or went to work

But as a surprise she told you that you’d be going with her to carry the bags

It was night, but you didn’t mind it much since you’d always preferred it

Made getting your mom the smelly sticks easier when it was the man at the cashier at 711

Eventually as you walk further into the city with her you see that your in an area you’d never been before

It’s scary, really scary but you don’t say a word

You don’t say anything when she tells you to wait at the curb beneath a streetlight as she walks off

Cold concrete kissing your palms as you sit there, a lone 8 year old waiting

Still wearing pyjamas and barefoot as the cold chill of the night began to set in

It’s nothing you can’t handle, besides she’d be back soon

She said she would

And if your actions were right you couldn’t break a promise

She’s just taking awhile is all

Maybe it was busy!, yeah that had to be it

People were just busy shopping cause they were at work in the day

So you wait some more

And some more

And now your shaking as you hug yourself

You can’t go home cause you don’t k is the way back and your afraid to leave incase she came back and got mad

There’s a slight chatter sound as your teeth clatter from how much your shaking

The tears feel so cold against your cheeks that you swear they might become frozen to them

There isn’t any noise except for the occasional honk streets away, the night is calm

Until there’s a marsh crash and curses come from the alleyway across from where you sit

It makes you go still and tense

Until a man exits it wearing an odd red mask with glowy eyes

He stumbles out and curses with a weird almost electric sound to his voice before he locks eyes with you

“Oi kid!, what are you doing out so late and alone?”

He takes as step forwards and you scoot back a little bit, still shaking as he now notices how your not wearing much on a cold night

He takes off his jacket

“If I give you my jacket will you tell me your name?”

“I heard I’m not supposed to talk to strangers…can you tell me your name?”

At this nods and as he got closer you dont back away like before

You let him place the large jacket over your shoulders, it’s big and bulky and reminds you of a blanket with the fluff on the inside

He says his name is red hood, something that makes your eyes light up with familiarity

You’d heard about him from your mom watched the news, mentions if the name but never what he looked like

There was also something with him and Batman? But you didn’t really know a lot about it from the snippets you heard

“Does that mean your a hero?.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that. But close enough”

“That’s cool, mom said that hero’s were a sham. I always thought their cool, I’m y/n by the way”

“Kid how old are you?, what are you doing out here?”

You go to hold your fingers up to show him but you don’t remember what’s past five

Mom pulled you out of preschool saying she’d Homeschool you but never did

Whatever you had learned was from tv and the limited books you could read

You begin to tear up in frustration

“Hey it’s ok kid. Second question then, what are you doing out here”

“Mom said she needed groceries and she let me come this time so I can carry the bags. She said that I had to wait here till she’s come back”

He goes rigid at that but you don’t notice

You curl up in a ball and zip up the coat around you

Now properly protecting you from the cold except for your feet

“Mr hood can you wait with me. I don’t wanna be alone”

“Sure thing”

So he sits himself beside you on the curb

To pass the time he pulls out a small book labeled “pride and prejudice” and begins reading it to you

It’s nice having someone to read with

He uses different voice for different characters, giving them posh accents that make you giggle

But as time ticks on he notices how your shoulders droop more

Along with your smile

Eventually he stops reading and puts his book away

“She said she’d come back…she’s coming back right?”

It sounds so broken as you ask this, you turn your head to look at him and he sees your reddened eyes that have tears lining them

The only sounds you can make are choked sobs and sniffles as the masked vigilante pulls you into a hug

You grab onto him tightly, small hands digging into the metal plating of his armour

Afraid he’d leave as well just as everyone else in your life did

“Do you have a dad you can go to?”

“Mom said he left because of me…so I don’t think so. Do you think if I go home she’d be mad at me?”

He feels his heart shatter a bit at that and he doesn’t know how to respond other than gently rubbing the back of your head

Jason at this point in his life knows he’s not in the best place to care for himself let alone a kid. He’s a walking corpse back from the dead, wanting to get revenge as his mind unscrambles itself day by day

But as you sob he knows he can’t let go

Those memories of his mother staining his mind along with the sound of your crying

The betrayal similar to this where she willingly led her child to a certain death

He also doesn’t trust the foster care system nor any system for a matter of fact

He’s seen his share of messed up kids that have been created through them

So in that moment Jason makes an impulsive decision he wouldn’t ever regret

“Do…do you wanna come with me then?. You gotta keep my identity a secret though, k?”

“O-ok Mr hood”

“Just call me Jason kid”

Yeah so first couple weeks Jason struggles since he hasn’t exactly looked after a child before

Your an independent kid from the conditions you lived in before but that makes him worry quite a bit

Especially when you have a small snack and call it a dinner

So he just takes small steps, and also reads parenting books…a lot of them actually

He still has to set you up a room so he lets you take his bed while he sleeps on the couch

It’s easier that way cause he’s afraid of accidentally hurting you while having a nightmare

Which he still gets quite frequently

You don’t seem to mind, just thanking him for sleeping in a nice bed and having blankets that properly keep you warm

Before you came along he kinda just got takeout but he knows that isn’t the healthiest thing so he actually starts cooking

He’s pretty decent at it due to helping Alfred and for like the first time in your life you have a proper meal

You have to hold back tears and it makes his heart crack a bit at the sight

Jason hires an online teacher before sending you to school due to the fact your a bit behind in what a child your age needs to know and he doesn’t trust that Gotham is safe enough yet

Speaking of which he’s protective, like real protective for good reason though

He’s still running around at night with Bruce chasing him along with Gotham being a cesspool

So it’s safe to say that it’s not exactly a safe place for you

Won’t admit it but he purposefully buys you clothes that are red cause he thinks it’s cute

Especially if you say you want more red cause it reminds you of him

100% makes it a tradition to read a chapter of a book to you each day and teaches you to read better through it

He gets better from time and experience

Whenever he comes home battered and angry he makes sure to take his anger out on something before he heads into the apartment

He doesn’t wanna accidentally scare you or snap by accident

You try to help him with his wounds (as best as an 8 year old can) and he melts

Another thing that makes him melt is when he walked in on you trying on his helmet and leather jacket

He laughed and then played with you before putting on some ABBA that y’all danced to

It takes awhile but once he gets your room set up he’s really proud and happy with himself for once when seeing your smile

It was when you thank him that you accidentally called him dad

You freeze and go to apologize but he just hugs you

And you feel tears hit your shoulder

“No it’s ok, yeah I’m your dad now kid”

When your about 10-13 he sends you to school since your properly caught up and he thinks it’s probably best you make friends

He’s already at this point gotten you a fake ID with a new last name since he knows if you have Todd then Bruce is gonna look into it

While he isn’t trying to get revenge anymore he’s still not on the best of terms with the old man

A metaphorical wall between them that leaves Bruce at a distance

Jason likes it this way though since no one knows about you

Giving you a relatively normal life

Now that your a bit older he shows you some of his favourite tv even if it’s still not the most age appropriate thing for you to watch

But as long as no one knows you can watch Buffy but shhhh

Loves binging series with you but also enjoys watching movies as well like lost boys

He’s got a soft spot for older films that will probably be transferred to you

Oh and murder mysteries like knives out (Damn you Bruce)

You don’t remember your birthday so he uses the day he found you as it

And at this age he goes 100% on them

Like guess whos gonna go see hadestown?!?

By god he loves you so much, like goes from big intimidating vigilante to gentle little shit when he gets home

Sometimes you try to stay up late to be awake when he gets home

You usually fall asleep and it always makes his heart warm and fuzzy at the sight of it

Definitely takes you around on his motorcycle and makes you your own helmet to match his

You best bet your gonna be the fucking coolest kid in school with the leather jacket he gets you

He teaches you how to defend yourself and stick up for others

And not to let people step over you

Sure he gets some calls from the office but when he hears little Tommy was being a dick he’s taking you to get Dairy Queen and a pat on the back

You also get a lot of his sass as well

Like you’ve gotten in trouble several times for being a smart ass to terrible teachers

He affectionately calls you “little shit” “ankle bitter” “kid” and “brat”

In return you tease him for having white hair and calling him “old man”

At this point he hasn’t told you about Bruce and his revival but you know he has something against Batman

And for now he leaves it at that since he would prefer to tell you when your a bit older since your still a kid

No matter what he’ll get it into your head to NEVER become a hero or vigilante

Seeing him come home battered and bruised is enough to convince you of that though

Along with that he also teaches you about picking and choosing fights and when to know that you should get help

He doesn’t show up to pta meetings at Gotham academy cause he’s kinda scare Bruce is gonna be there and have some questions

There have definitely been some times while taking you out for something that he narrowly avoided his family

Speaking of which despite them not knowing about you, you actually know about them

Jason actually entrusts you with the information that their the bat family to you since he knows you won’t tell anyone

Even if you did it would sound like a kid spouting off fun theories

You once called Nightwing a dick for a joke and he turned around all confused until he realized what you said

When you told Jason he laughed his ass off about it

Every year for Halloween he lets you borrow one of his spare masks and y’all go out for trick or treating

At the end of it you guys have a tradition of eating some of your spoils of candy on a rooftop overlooking Gotham

When you become a teenager he’s surprisingly really good at dealing with you

Partially because Jason’s still a grungy teen at heart lol

Y’all don’t really have misunderstandings since he puts effort into making some communication is key

Unlike with Bruce who he feels never tried to see his viewpoint Jason makes sure to see your one on topics and issues

But that’s the rare case you guys actually have a discussion like that

Jason actually really happy if you start dating and isn’t really bothered by it?

He knows you can handle yourself and trusts your judge of characters unless he gets reallly off vibes about them

Like serial killer kinda vibes

Then he’s stepping In

If you do have a bad break up though he’s 100% taking you to egg that persons house

And the he takes you to a nice dinner while you both shit talk or if your not feeling up to that he gets ice cream and y’all watch your favourite happy movie

Whatever career you want to pursue you can bet that he will support you

He’s your biggest cheerleader and if it came to it he’d get Pompom’s to prove a point

If you don’t know where you wanna go that’s fine as well!

He doesn’t fucking know what he’s doing with his life either lol and he certainly doesn’t have a conventional job (that’s for sure)

He’s super happy if you begin experimenting with different styles especially if it’s something kinda alt, grunge or punk

Cause then you both can match and he can give you some of his old stuff he’d think you like

At this point in your life he’d be really happy if you share some of your favourite music with him

He has a lot of range and versatility in his playlists but he isn’t as up to date with modern music as he’d like to be

He’d probably really like Doja cat, tame impala, Lovejoy, and Mitski

God if you show him Mitski expect to one day find him crying whilst listening to it

If you ask him what’s wrong he’ll just say “it’s one of those days” (Me)

Speaking of which, this is the time where Jason actually opens up about why he has nightmares so often and why he hated Bruce

It’s definitely a bit jarring to hear about him being beaten to death and then revived

And you definitely get a bit upset that Bruce didn’t do anything to really get revenge on the joker

Though you know your view is biased from being Jason’s kid and watching him growing up have full on horrific nightmares that would make him wake up screaming

How his mom betrayed him as well

It’s a big thing for him to talk about since he usually prefers to not relive those memories in his mind

But he knows that you’d learn eventually and he’d prefer if it was from his mouth

For him to tell about his trauma when he felt that both of you were ready

You feel closer to him in heart

And you hug him like when he had found you all those years ago

And Jason finds himself content

Any concert you want to go to he’s probably tagging along since he enjoys those type of events

Even if it’s for a musician that isn’t his favourite

He finds any hobby you have or anything you wanna collect

Cause he wants you to be happy and even if he doesn’t get it per say seeing your smile makes him understand

If it’s something he also likes though then be prepared cause your sharing that collection with him

And you both are gonna geek out over shit

He still reads to you as a small tradition you’ve both continued since him taking you in

Just you snuggled beside him in a cocoon of blankets as he reads a book of your recommendation aloud

A vinyl playing on a low level in the background

That alone pushes him to never give up when on patrol

He has you to return to, he has someone who he cared for more than his own life

The only bit of normality he has in his life after being thrown into the bubbling green waters of the Lazarus pit. Coming back as a broken and lost man hellbent on revenge and lingering rage

And of fucking course it’s during one of these nights as he’s reading Carmila that Bruce and Dick decide to drop by

“What the?!- Jason who the hell’s that?!?”

“Do we lie orrr?” “Can’t lie to em kid, their like living lie detectors” “those don’t even properly work though, you can cheat them easily” “it was an analogy”

“Can still hear y-“

“Shut up dick”

“They know?”

“Yeah well…of course I’d tell my kid about you guys”

“I’m an uncle?!?. How long have you had them?!?, how?!”

“How old are they?”

“I’m right here you know, Stop talking as if I’m not you geezers”

Haha yeah….Bruce is having a crisis realizing he’s technically a grandpa now

Hurray

There are like 2000 things going on in his mind right now and he definitely needs a chair to sit down on

He’s still in his costume so his emotions aren’t really showing but you can definitely tell he’s not ok by how he’s leaning against the wall looking kinda faint

He happy but at the same time he’s kinda upset that Jason never told him

Like, you’ve had a kid for years and never told me, your dad?!?

Jason definitely needs to have a talk with him and explain his side of the situation (which you practically force the two of them to do)

He’s kinda akward around you but not in a bad way, moreso in the “so kiddo what do you kids like these days” kinda way

He’s missed out on countless years of your life and didn’t even know you existed up until now and now your suddenly revealed to be his grandkid

He has like years of birthdays, Christmas’s, Easter’s and every other fucking holidays to catch up on

He starring holes into you by accident and your dad has to lightly smack his arm to tell him to stop lol

He means well though and you know that

Meanwhile Dick is ecstatic cause he’s an uncle!!

He’s already ready to brag to everyone he knows about it and be like “pshh that cool but I’m now an uncle”

Bro’s sitting beside you and asking everything about your interests and achievements

It’s kinda sweet since he’s just nodding along adding “ooh’s” and “ahh’s” every once in awhile

It reminds you a bit of a golden retriever

But with that also comes the little devil on your shoulder tempting you to mess with him a bit

And you do so

“I have the best insults from here to metropolis”

“Want to prove that?”

“Sure. I bet you have so much ass hair that when you have diarrhea it comes out as filtered water”

They quickly learn you have Jason’s mouth if not worse

Wither you or Jason realize it or not your both alike in more ways than one

[musingmeaninglessly]

The Show; Aged Up!Lo'ak x Curvy/Chubby Human!Reader

A/N; So, this whole idea was sparked by this random post I did. I can just see Lo'ak showering his girl in so much praise and worshipping her human outfits. So, this one is for all the thicc girls like me out there...

Photos are not mine, and got the art from this blog. Full credits go to the artist!

Warnings; Curvy/chubby fem human reader, aged up Lo'ak, mentions of bad body image, swearing (it's Lo'ak, after all), suggestive/almost NSFW, Lo'ak being an utter simp for you (yes, that should be a warning). Not proofread.

Summary; When you give Lo'ak a little private fashion show of all your cute human outfits, he finally persuades you to brave the Na'vi-style clothing he gifted you months ago...

"Baby, come on! You been in there for like..."

"Two whole minutes..."

Your giggle is audible to Lo'ak through the bathroom door even from where he's sprawled on your tiny bed. After taking a puff of CO2 from his mask, he lets out an overly dramatic sigh.

"That's two minutes too long! How long does it take to put on a...what's it called again?"

"A bikini?"

Lo'ak grins at the unfamiliar human word. It sounds so cute, especially when it comes from you. But he's sure it won't be nearly as cute as you'll look in the garment.

"Yes, bikini."

His accent sounds even thicker as he pronounces the word, causing you to giggle as you emerge from your tiny bathroom in the equally tiny bikini.

"Holy shit..."

Your boyfriend's reaction makes you blush, but you do a little twirl for him all the same.

Being a thicker, softer girl meant that you hadn't always embraced these smaller pieces of swimwear. Even with your early teenage years on earth, you'd always cover up. But a certain 8 ft alien boy had brought you our of your shell.

"Baby, you look so fire in this! Look at the way it hugs your cute little belly and your waist..."

Lo'ak can't help reaching his big hands out to lightly grab at your flesh, his childish mauling eliciting a chuckle from you.

"You really like it?"

His amber eyes shoot up to you in a moment as though your questioning him was the greatest offence on Pandora.

"No baby..." his shit-eating smirk tells you what's to come. What he always says, "I love it."

Your cheeks blush furiously at that, but you give him a little peck on the lips all the same. You don't even bother to try and get out of the needy grip he has on your waist. But it turns out you don't have to at all, as he suddenly glances at your dresser with mischievous eyes.

"Baby?" you question, watching your tall boyfriend lumber over to the chest of drawers, knocking over a few items on his way. With a playful scowl you pick them up, but can't help tilting your head at him in amusement as he begins rummaging through your dresser. "Baby, what are you doing?"

"Looking for something." he states matter-of-factly.

"I can see that, but what?"

"That outfit I gave you when we first got together."

There's a warmth and gentleness in the smile that he flashes over his shoulder at you, and you gulp a little in response.

In truth, you've always been damn-well petrified to sport the tiny beaded top and loin cloth that Lo'ak gifted you months ago. They're beautiful, made of sea grass from the reef and studded with tiny turquoise beads.

But it's a very open weave, and you have no doubt that Lo'ak made them that way on purpose.

"Here they are! You got so many clothes in here, Jesus Christ."

You laugh at your Na'vi boyfriend's use of such a human expression. He learnt it from his Dad, for sure, but it was also testament to how much time he spends with you.

Blue hands outstretched, he holds up the garments. You eye them for a moment too long, and he immediately knows what's going through your little human brain.

"Baby, I know you've never worn something like this before," he crouches down on his knees so he's somewhat at your eye level, and continues in a husky whisper, "but you'd look fine as hell in these..."

"Lo'ak, I'm just too-"

"Beautiful? Divine? Sexy?" His yellow eyes glimmer mischievously. "Please, just put them on for me baby. Just this one time. Please?"

He knows damn well that you can't resist his eyes, lined with long lashes and the colour of molten gold. With a roll of your own eyes, you smile softly and take the pieces of clothing from his awaiting hands.

With a self-satisfied smirk, he watches you saunter off to the bathroom to change.

-

"Baby, I'm gonna die out here if you take any longer! C'mon..."

You snort in derision as you stare at yourself in the tiny bathroom mirror. If anyone's gonna die in this place today, it's you. From embarrassment.

Turning your body every which way, you sigh. Just as you suspected, the minuscule garments leave very little to the imagination, if anything.

Lo'ak's such a perv...

You appreciated your boyfriend's crafting these clothes for you. It showed how much he wanted to assimilate you into his culture. How much you mean to him.

But, despite the fact that the clothes are meant to make you feel more included in Na'vi life, they also highlight how different you are from them.

How your curved waist differs from the lithe structure of Na'vi women. How the thin straps of the loin cloth show off the pronounced softness of your hips and belly. How the stretch marks decorating the tops of your thighs have nowhere to hide.

It's one thing to compare yourself to other human girls, but this is a whole new kettle of fish.

"Baby!"

You're snapped out of your vicious cycle of thoughts by your needy boyfriend. Part of you couldn't bare to, well, lay yourself more-or-less bare for him. But, you know that he won't quit his pestering unless you do.

With one last withering glance directed at your reflection, you take a deep breath before calling back, "Coming!"

Despite the fact that your bathroom is the mere size of a closet, and your bedroom not much bigger, the walk to your boyfriend feels like a damn marathon.

Gnawing at your bottom lip nervously, you clear your throat to catch his attention. It seems that you'd taken so long to pick yourself apart in the mirror, he'd resorted to flopping on your bed. You wondered if he'd taken a short nap in the time it took you to put the Na'vi clothing on.

But when he sits up, it's clear that he's very much awake...

"Baby..." Lo'ak's voice comes out in a husky whisper, laced with want. "Fuck..."

"I know, I know, it doesn't look quite right on me-"

"No."

Your eyes widen at his stern tone. He's always such a joker, such a playful flirt. But looking into his eyes now, hearing his voice, you've never seen him so serious.

"No," he clarified again, "it looks perfect. God it just...shows everything off just right..."

He groans, letting his large hands roam freely. His grip is firm and possessive, yet appreciative and gentle all at once. Barely an inch of your body goes untouched, and you're too dumbstruck to make your usual quips about him being so handsy.

In fact, this excites you. A lot.

"You really like it that much?"

Your question is like deja vu from earlier, but this moment is different somehow. Heated. Wanton. Desperate.

Lo'ak reluctantly detaches one of his hands from your soft belly, instead using his long fingers to hook under your chin with a feather-like touch. He eyes you through those long lashes of his, his fangs peaking out above his bottom lip as his breathing grows erratic as his voice drops an octave;

"You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?"

All you can do is blink down at him and slowly shake your head, inching a little closer. Since he's sat on your bed, holding you stood between his thighs, you're more-or-less at eye level. He takes the opportunity to tease you, going in for a kiss before pausing as his lips brush yours and he whispers in a gravelly tone.

"Why don't I show you, then?"

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 8: Never Be Sorry

From: The Rainmaker Series

Pairing: Mob! Steve x Forensic Scientist! Reader

Summary: There’s a lot to apologize for, but some things happen for a reason

Word count: 6,323

Content/warnings: mob themes, gun mentions, swears, yelling, tough love, interrogation, punching, slapping, convincing-ish arguments?, fires, lots of time switching between the past and present, angst, sass

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this next chapter! It takes place at the same time as chapter 4 of Handiwork and Chapter 11 of YCMBWH.

Your feedback is appreciated in all forms! Comments, reblogs, and asks are golden💗

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

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“Everything’s Fucked.” You spoke through gritted teeth, arms crossed, looking out the window. The open fields were whizzing by in the early morning light as Number Five drove you home in Bucky’s car, leaving him and Steve at the farm to clean up after the events of the previous night.

It was per your insistence that you stay until Curtis was found, despite having to get called in to the office for this Sunday afternoon. As much as you wished to stay back and ensure Curtis and Cherry were alright, you had a job to do. Sure, Steve and his goons could’ve called off for you like they did the last time, but you couldn’t risk the association with them, not anymore. Not when so much else in your life was at stake. And honestly, you weren’t sure how much more time you could stand to be around people. Your last straw was on the verge of snapping.

Late last night (aka early morning)

You sat in the hay loft of one of the small barns on the farm, feet swinging from the rafters as you watched the scene below. You observed the two men who crossed you, crossed Curtis as they sat in metal chairs, tied with fresh rope, one of them squirming, the other calmly watching the scene with a mischievous smirk on his face.

There was no way it was genuine, though. You knew they were going to lose. You had heard all about the the abilities of Bucky in the city from Five when you cornered him upon your return from the bar. You knew men were tearing down Lloyd’s organization as this entire scene was occurring, and you knew Bucky would get what he wanted. Apparently he had a reputation for that. How it flew under your nose for so many years, you weren’t sure, but it meant he was really good. Which might’ve also meant you weren’t as good as you thought, but that was a thought you tried to push from your mind, despite the way it kept creeping in.

Bucky was circling the two men, akin to a shark, crisp suit adorned, taking the place of the jeans and flannel shirt he borrowed for the bar. Steve was wearing the same, and your previous disdain for that formalwear was growing back and burning your throat. Sure, the farm clothes were comfortable, but you knew that would’ve made them too vulnerable, which wasn’t gonna fly in a mob interrogation like this. So suits it was. Gone was the simple pleasure associated with the old, worn clothing. This was all business.

The same went for you, except in your case, business meant comfort. The second you got back from the bar and entered the farmhouse, you shucked the dress off your body and weant straight for the laundry room, borrowing a pair of Bee’s jeans and an old flannel of Curtis’s that was sitting on top of the pile, the extra material tucked into your waistband as it bloused over your body. It was perfect for a crisp night like this, and you were sure he wouldn’t mind. Plus, who knew how dirty you were going to get at this point? You were literally in a barn.

This interrogation was going nowhere, though. Lloyd was fucking smug as ever and Cole was being a whiny bitch. And worse even, after rolling Lloyd’s name around in your head for an hour, it all made sense. Hansen. As in Lillian Hansen, criminal defense attorney that you abhorred, despite the fact you luckily never really had to deal with her. But you knew how much Scott couldn’t stand the lady, and you imagined Andy felt the same. Ugh, Andy, or should you go back to calling him DA Barber now, who was probably on Steve’s payroll. And probably Scott, too! Was there anyone left that you could trust to tell you the truth!? It looked like you were the only one who you could have faith in anymore. And maybe Cherry? But now, you were gonna use that rage and that self-reliance to get some results.

You swung down from the rafters and landed on strong legs in your boots on the dirt floor. Bucky had just gone over to greet Cherry who had walked into the barn. This was your open opportunity to get what you needed out of these pricks.

You stalked towards the men in the metal chairs, your face showing the vengeance these two were sure to face soon, if not by your hand, then by the mob’s. Your eyes narrowed and shoulders squared as you looked between the two men. You hated them more than you hated even Walker for what they had a part in. More than spoiled milk, more than being left out of the loop. More than Steve.

You were grateful for the way the corner of your eye caught Bucky’s arm barring Steve from approaching you. He had already messed up enough and taken choices from you. This wasn’t another thing you needed taken away. You would deal with it your own way as you stepped in front of Cole.

“I’ll give you one more shot. I’m sick of watching this dance. Where. Is. Curtis?”

A stuttering voice came out of Cole. “I-I don’t know.”

You rolled your eyes. Of course he didn’t. What a dipshit. The kind who doesn’t know basic science or who to trust. But you guessed, at this point, you didn’t either. You raised your arm.

Smack. In a flash, his head was tossed to the side.

“Wrong answer.”

If Cole wasn’t going to give what you needed, maybe Lloyd could, or maybe he and his tight lips could be the vessel to get the Turner heir to squeal.

You took a step to your left, putting yourself directly in front of Lloyd.

“Where?”

Your voice was even and low. Calm, yet rage-lined. You were so sick of all this shit. You had no room to feel sad or worried anymore. All that was left was anger. At the situation, at yourself. It filled you, but it fueled you. Lloyd shook his head, paired with his shoulders that jumped up and down with laughter. Your fists tightened at the way you could tell he wasn’t taking you seriously.

“Oh, come on, Pumpkin. You’re a smartie. Bet you’re a sweet peach just like your friend, too, but I’m not giving up whe-“

Punch. Right to the jaw. It was almost in slow motion as Lloyd fell to the hay floor in a heap with a dull thump and a rustle. You had pinpointed the right spot and knocked him out cold. Your eyes quickly fixed on Cole again, seeing a new wave of fear had swept across his face.

“Is that motivation enough for you to help us now?”

He furiously nodded, but then looked back over his shoulder at Cherry. “I’ll talk to her.”

You could see the surprise on her face, but he was in no place to make demands. Just as you were about to speak up, Steve’s voice filled the barn.

“No way. You lost your right to negotiate when you let Lloyd cross that line. You talk to me or you don’t have a tongue to talk anymore. Got it?”

You watched Cole gulp in fear. That was on him for refusing to deal directly with you, and now he got Steve, who you didn’t even know the capabilities of, never having witnessed him in this environment before. All of the unknowns hitting you at once were too much. You had to get out of there, so you turned on your heel and swiftly exited the barn, fast walking away. Anywhere else.

You grumbled and shook your head as your boots brushed through the tall grass. “Fucking dumbass mobsters.”

Present

The mid-morning sun was high and bright in your eyes as you continued on the highway back home. You were exhausted, but things would get better once you got back to work. Right? They had to.

You turned in your seat, cracking your back and doing your best to stretch in the confined space. You took the opportunity to reach around, too, opening the glove compartment, shifting items around.

Peter was attempting to keep his eyes on the road, but his gaze kept flashing to you. “Everything alright, Miss Decks?”

You groaned in frustration, rifling through the drinks in the center console. Of course it was a cooler.

“Where does Bucky keep the sunglasses? He’s gotta have an extra pair somewhere. Rich bastard is rarely unprepared, I know it.”

Peter reached up near the rear view mirror and popped open a sunglasses holder where you saw a pair of dark frames.

“Ah, thank you, Five.”

You grabbed them and closed the holder, before sliding them on your face, crossing your arms, and scooting back down in the passenger seat. There was still a ways to go, and this was a little better so you didn’t go blind.

Just as you started nodding off for a nap, you felt a buzzing in your pocket. You let out a big sigh and pulled out your phone, rolling your eyes when you saw who it was: Bee. You groaned as you hit the button to answer the call, putting it on speaker in case there was something she had to say to Peter.

“What?”

There was a deep breath taken on the other side of the line. “Well good morning to you, too, Sunshine. How’s the drive going? You kind of left abruptly.”

You continued to stare out at the road, more cars having joined alongside you as the day continued.

“Yeah. Couldn’t waste anymore time. Had to get back for the shift they need me for this afternoon.”

You heard her hum, knowing exactly what her face was from that noise. Most definitely tight-lipped and skeptical.

“Yeah, okay. And this isn’t you running away from your problems, right?”

You were silent for a second. She didn’t need to call you out like that. You were fine. It was all…fine. Maybe if you could convince her of that, you could convince yourself, too.

“What problems? We got Curtis back. Bucky is gonna help you figure out everything to keep your farm and then some I bet. No issues here except me having to go to work.”

It was Bee’s turn to stay silent now. It’s not like she was ever an excessive talker, but both of you knew that if she wasn’t gracing you with a response, she could see right through you and was waiting for you to state the conclusion on your own. Her silence drove you crazy.

“Okay, fine! I’m going back to my job to drown myself in test analysis reports and probably straining my eyes at the microscope again. Is that what you wanna hear?”

She let out a dry laugh from the other end of the line.

“While I admire the hustle, partner, you know it’s not. I wanna hear you talk about exactly what’s going on with a certain blonde puppy that’s pouting in my living room right now. But…since I love you I can give you good news first.”

Good news didn’t sound like something that could exist right now. But before you could catch more of those thoughts, you were interrupted by the clearing of a throat next to you. Oh right, Five was driving this car.

“Ugh. Before you speak more, hold on. Because this is between me and you, and I don’t need someone reporting this information to his boss.”

You looked over at Peter and the way his brow furrowed.

“Five, can I count on you to keep whatever you hear in this conversation a secret?”

He simply gave a curt nod.

“Discretion is my entire job description, Miss Decks.”

You sighed. It was exactly what you wanted to hear, but was it just that?

“Yeah, but do you have to report everything I say to your superiors?”

Peter shrugged. “I have to follow their orders…so if they tell me to…yes.”

“But isn’t your primary order right now to protect me? So protect me by not saying anything to Steve. What’s he gonna do? Hold a gun to your head?”

Peter was silent.

“Oh my god, he’s not gonna put a gun to your head, is he!?”

Peter spared a quick glance at you. “Um, I’d hope not. Probably not? No, no, he knows I’d never cross him. Mr. Rogers doesn’t like to get rid of people for no good reason. So definitely not if he knew the order of my silence came from you.”

From the phone in your hand, you heard Bee hum. “Ooooo, Decky, your reputation among the ranks precedes you.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’d tell you to shut up, but I’m actually trying to give you the opportunity to speak right now, and I have no desire to hear more about this hierarchy, so talk before I change my mind.”

Humor reached her voice at the way you were beginning to open up to her again. “Oh I love how you love me. You might regret giving that free rein, but I’ll get on with it. This weekend went to… excuse my language…shit, but I didn’t even get to show you your surprise.”

Your ears perked up. “Bee, you what? When on Earth did you have time for that?”

She made an unsure, drawn out sound. “Well…I didn’t. I’ve had my hands pretty full..it’s um, technically from Cole, but you’re gonna like it.”

You scoffed. “How am I going to like something regifted from that fucking weirdo.”

The annoyance she’d been holding back with your bitter mood was starting to show in her voice now. Something very rare. You couldn’t believe you were actually wearing her patience down. “Decks, can you just be nice for one second!? Don’t make me call you by your birth name, because I swear I will. I’ll use the middle one, too! God. It’s a cow. It’s that cow you always asked for. She’s yours and she needs a name. Please be nice to me. I’m trying so hard right now to help you. Try and shed some light on this terrible situation.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” You shrunk in on yourself in your seat and your voice was almost a squeak. As much as you wanted to be annoyed at everything and how it did truly go to shit, you couldn’t blame it on her. It really wasn’t her fault. And this subject change was kind of nice.

Your voice was still small. “So tell me more about this cow. Mini highland?”

Back was her bright tone. “Yep! That’s the one. Light brown and adorable. You wanna rif on it?”

You sighed. “Um…maybe not right now? But I really do appreciate it. Give that girl a nice spa day for me, will you?”

You couldn’t see it, but you were sure she was nodding on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah, yeah. I will.”

Earlier last night (right after returning from the bar)

Steve and Bucky had converted one of the barns on the property into a makeshift interrogation room while Cole and Lloyd were still out cold, Bucky having knocked them out as a result of the fight in the bar. He knew you had driven Cherry home, but had no idea where you were now as he walked around the barn entrance, kicking stray rocks and looking up at the clear sky, littered with stars. All he could think about was sharing that view with you.

Over his shoulder, he could hear the grass rustling from footsteps and suddenly next to him stood Bucky. Steve looked at his best friend with a halfhearted smile, the pain evidently seeping through. It wasn’t going to be an easy night by any means, but Bucky knew it was much harder for Steve than him. Steve sighed, comfortable enough to speak his mind. He had to get this out, voicing something would keep him from combusting.

“It’s so beautiful. All the times I’ve been out here, I haven’t gotten the chance to look up at the sky at night without all the light pollution. Decks would love this. I bet she knows all the constellations.”

Bucky let out a small chuckle at the obsessive thoughts of his friend. He had a point, though, and he felt it a little more as he heard Bee walk up behind him, slotting her fingers between his own and setting her head on his shoulder. Steve continued to stare upward with a small, wistful sigh as Bee spoke over the light chirp of the crickets.

“She does. She took an astronomy elective in college. The stars are no use enjoying alone. You should be staring up at them together, but she needs to come to that conclusion on her own now that she knows everything.”

Steve nodded, huffed, then wiped his tired eyes with the heels of his palms, finally dropping his head.

“Yeah, you’re right. But I’m going to keep trying. I have to.”

Bee clicked her tongue and looked over at Bucky, responding to Steve. “As you should. Sometimes the best things are the ones someone teaches you to work a little extra for.”

Present

“Now it’s your turn, Decks. What’s really got you twisted?” Bee’s bright voice was louder than you’d like on the phone speaker.

You grumbled your response under your breath.

“What? I couldn’t quite catch that?”

You sighed and took a sip of water from the bottle you pulled out of the cooler, preparing yourself to finally voice the feelings you’d had cooped up inside.

“God, Bee this is so fucking embarrassing. I was stupid and blind. That’s what I’m so mad about, Curtis aside. It was all right in front of me the entire time. I should’ve seen it coming. I mean, Bucky, Steve, Lillian, Lloyd. They were all right there! And I missed them! I’m a terrible civic servant. I should just rescind that application I sent to the FBI.”

You huffed after having said your peace, but were glad the phone wasn’t up by your ear when her voices busted through the speaker again.

“WAIT, you applied to the FBI!? Decks, why didn’t you tell me?!”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, didn’t feel right at the time when I was at your house. And I didn’t want it over call or text in case the NSA or someone else was listening, but what does it matter now? I’m a terrible investigator.”

You thought for a second before speaking up again. “I shouldn’t have tried to make all this for myself. Maybe my mom was right and I should’ve looked for a husband a long time ago. Settled down or something and stopped pushing to have more. The world’s been trying to tell me that’s all I’m good for, but obviously even that’s something I mess up.”

“Ugh, Decks. You’ve gotta stop with that malarkey your mom fed you. Sure, she’s great and she stayed home once she found a husband, but that doesn’t have to be you. You’ve told me several times you don’t want that to be you. If that’s what you want now, great, but I know you and I know it’s not. I think you should keep going for your goals. You’d be great in the FBI.”

You wanted to smile at the compliment, but you felt like a fool. “Would I, though? For the several reasons I just told you? Plus, even if I were to get in, they do background checks. And interviews of family and friends. How’s it gonna look if my best friend is involved with the mob? And so is that guy that I kissed, like twice, but wanted to do way more than kiss with? And oh yeah, his best friend, which also happens to be the aforementioned best friend’s boyfriend? Also mob. And let’s add another friend getting kidnapped by a dirty lawyer, once again, mob, to the list. Can’t hide that.”

Bee sighed in contemplation. “Well, uh, actually, you can. Technically on paper I’m a produce contractor for Bucky’s restaurants. That’s why they’ve got all the businesses, bestie.”

“But even if that does work for the interview process, my luck won’t roll on forever. So maybe cut ties are for the best. But also, do they really even matter? Like, not really at this point. Nothing matters. I’ll just stay in the city, do my little science experiments like a monkey for those fuckwads like Walker, and maybe get a cat. It’ll be grand.”

Bee almost growled. You were sure it was terrifying in person. “Can you just stop feeling sorry for yourself!? I didn’t want to have to pull out the tough love but you leave me no choice. Yeah, this whole thing is fucked up. You got lied to, and I’m sorry for that. But honestly, nothing was fake. I’ll tell you that for a fact. And I know you know it, too. You can join the FBI if you want. You can keep your digital footprint and paper trail clean, and you can find happiness on your own terms. I’m this close to saying I’m sick of this sour behavior, Decks. If anyone can find their way out of a tangled mess like the one you think you’re caught up in, it’s you. So like you always do, put your head down and stop complainin’!”

You didn’t want to dignify this all with a response, so she kept going, but something on the other end of the line was trying to get her attention. “Listen, I’ve gotta go. But you know where I stand. On all of this. On you, on Steve, on your job. You can call me whenever, just think about it and stop selling yourself short. I know you’ve got this whole hard, tough exterior going for you, and it’s great. I love it, because I know the softness underneath. But don’t let that all harden, too. I can see you want it to because yeah, this all hurts, but that’s not gonna help your pain. It’s just gonna trap it there.”

What the fuck was this wise sage advice? She was turning into her uncle slowly. You were sure of it. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean she was wrong, though, but you didn’t want to hear it. So you simply put your hood up and pulled the strings tight. Her voice held a tone of disappointment, but also empathy at your continued silence; it was softer now.

“I love you, and I care for you, and I want you to know, I never would have let Steve get that close to you if I didn’t think it could bloom into something amazing. For both of you. It’s beyond just having someone else there. I know you’re mad, but maybe give him a chance. Okay? I’ve really gotta go now. Bye.”

The dial tone signaling the end of the call filled the car. You watched as Peter’s hands adjusted on the wheel and the city skyline came into view.

The thing was, after getting all of that out to Bee and listening to her, you realized you weren’t really mad, but it all just hurt. It was a pain that came from heartbreak. Someone you trusted let you down; multiple people. But you weren’t sorry about how you acted because of it. And to your surprise, you weren’t sorry about much that had happened at all, but for now, you needed to focus on you.

Late last night (after the interrogation)

Steve stayed light on his feet as he ducked and made his way through the tall grass of the farm field. After your…. convincing argument… as to why Cole should speak up, he spilled everything to Bucky and Steve. And it was everything. The extent of his deals with Lloyd, his original plans to overtake Bee’s farm, the true financial state of his own empire, and the fact that he and Lillian were seeing each other. Which was…frankly, more than Steve was willing to hear.

All of that information, though, led him to one of the newer locations of the Turner farms. One that specialized in cattle feed and storage, so no live animals on the property, just fallow and crop fields, and several barns and silos.

Steve rushed through the tall grass, flanked by Bucky and his men, giving silent hand signals as orders. They were to make as little of a scene as possible, which would’ve been successful if Lillian’s men hadn’t made a mess of everything. Shooting without silencers, screaming, making the entire scene evident to any onlookers. They were lucky they were in the middle of nowhere. Someone might just mistake it all as a farmer’s altercation with a coyote.

After having taken care of the two guards outside one of the barns while Bucky and his men handled the rest of the area, Steve was on alert as he slid the barn door open on the largest of the several buildings. The early morning light lit up the dim barn, illuminating Curtis’s face. Steve wanted to feel relief but he had to make sure Curtis was alright first. He surveyed the area as he approached.

Out in front of him, Curtis squinted and spoke with a raspy voice. “Steve?”

Steve gave him a small smile, surprised when Curtis’s face fell a little flat, not giving much emotion.

“Hey there, partner. I’m here for retrieval service.”

He walked around behind Curtis and crouched down, pulling the knife out of his breast pocket, flicking it open, and cutting the wrist restraints. Curtis immediately brought his hands to his front, rubbing the tender area.

“Did you get Lillian? She was outside. And all the guards? Is everyone else okay? How’s Cherry? Decks? Bee?”

Steve walked around to Curtis’s front, crouching once again to begin sawing at the ropes that held his ankles.

“The girls are good. Safe on the farm being guarded, but I think they can handle themselves. Your girl has taken this quite well all things considered.”

Steve broke through the ropes and looked up at Curtis’s face. There was a cut on his cheek that appeared to be bruising slowly.

“Lillian got you pretty good, huh? Don’t worry, we’ve got her now. And Lloyd and Cole. They’re getting delivered back to an old friend in the city as we speak. Probably won’t have to see their faces ever again. That’s a blessing.”

Steve thought back to Lillian meeting him and Bucky at the edge of the property when they first arrived, gun and singular henchman at the ready, easily overpowered by the two of them. Backup must have been lagging. They were easily set in the back of one of the SUVs in the brigade to be sent away. Good riddance, she was terrible and Curtis didn’t even know the half of it.

Curtis nodded in assent. “You could say that again.”

Steve looked Curtis once over, checking for any more injuries, satisfied to not see anything too bad. She must’ve been planning something terribly drawn out and he was lucky she never got there. “Can you walk?”

Curtis nodded and groaned as he threw his hands to his knees and pressed out of the uncomfortable metal chair.

“Yeah…you never really answered all of my questions, though, city boy, at least not fully….”

Steve internally winced, hoping that would squeak past, but it didn’t. He walked with Curtis up to the edge of the barn, peeking out to check if the coast was clear and speaking into an ear piece, indicating Curtis had been picked up and was ready for transport. He nodded with confirmation and his shoulders relaxed a little, although Steve grabbed the gun from the holster on his hip just in case, keeping it low as they shuffled out into the open field. One could never be too cautious of Lillian, but this didn’t seem like a plan that was thought out very well.

Steve and Curtis stepped out onto the land of one of the Turners farms. It was a newer one, a shame, yet somewhat satisfying by how much of it was on fire right now. The barn behind them was already up in flames, per the boss’s orders.

Steve led Curtis back to his black SUV parked on the gravel road, but looked at the farmer with confusion as Curtis took it upon himself to go towards the driver’s seat, despite the way Steve was very evidently guiding him towards the passenger side. Curtis held his hand out for the keys expectantly. Steve was nervous, he didn’t like the look on his face one bit. It was stern, demanding, and…protective? And it perfectly matched his vocal tone.

“Come on. While I drive home, you’re gonna walk me through your plan to get Decks back. If the next time I see her, she’s as mopey as she’s been this weekend, or worse yet, this hardens her, you’ll have hell to pay.”

Steve sighed as he settled into his seat. “Okay, okay. But I think I’m gonna need a lot of your input. Just be nice about it.”

Curtis raised a skeptical brow at Steve as he pulled out onto the country road. Steve wished he could crawl out of his skin. He might have just risked his life to save Curtis, but now he was on edge, faced with having to confront not only what he did wrong, but how he planned to fix it, and the fact that it may never be good with you again.

In Steve’s extended silence, Curtis decided to speak up, one hand on the wheel to slightly turn his body.

“You know, Steve, I’ve always been a little skeptical of you.”

Steve’s heart was beating fast. He wasn’t blind. Something about the two of them just never clicked.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I think you and I just don’t understand the way each other ticks. I don’t know why you do the things you do.”

Steve cleared his throat, turning towards Curtis to hear more.

“Way back when, Decks dated a friend of mine. It didn’t really go anywhere, but I knew I didn’t like it and I wasn’t sure why.”

Steve nodded in anticipation to where this was going.

“I came to realize it was because I was protective, because I know her. And I know she’s tough, but there’s a lot more vulnerability under that surface. And from that moment, I saw, too, that anyone who dated her without taking special consideration for that wasn’t my friend. Anyone who didn’t bare their own intentions and thoughts like I knew she was bound to do, wasn’t a friend.”

Steve shifted in discomfort. “So you don’t think I care? You don’t think I’m honest?”

Curtis blew out a breath. “I can tell you care, but I think you were a little too comfortable withholding the truth from someone who put their inner self on display for you.”

Steve nodded in understanding. He knew what he did was wrong, but he had no idea what the true gravity of it was.

“So, you got anything more to say about it, buddy? How are you going to apologize? How will you say you’re sorry and deserving of her?”

Steve wiped a hand down over his face.

“I-I don’t know. Maybe send her something? Some food, whatever she might want? Do you know what she might want? A car? A-“

Curtis stopped him right there. “I don’t think so. You can’t buy her forgiveness. How are you showing it to her? Plus, you can’t give her a car. The FBI will flag your connection to her real quick and I won’t let your feelings and lack of knowledge make a smudge on her background check when she just sent in that application.”

Steve sighed. He had no idea you applied to the FBI. Heck, he just learned only a week ago how you got your nickname. It seemed like he was so taken aback with your chemistry, and with hiding his identity, that the two of you skipped over each other as people.

“Okay, I-I didn’t know that. What do I do to show her, then, though?”

Curtis laughed dryly. “That’s for you to figure out. And sure, it could come in the form of gifts, but more so, it should come in the form of you. Do something that shows you’re willing to go by her pace, to learn the way she works and lives her life, not that you’re trying to fit her into yours, or worse yet, have her be an accessory to everything else you have going on. Decks is someone worth prioritizing.”

“Yeah, I know. Fuck. Well then it seems like I’ve got some work to do.”

“Big time. Now, my turn, because I wanna know the extent of hell you and I may have gone through together in another sense. Tell me what Lillian was like growing up.”

Steve smiled a little in the corner of his mouth. Maybe once he fixed it all with you, he and Curtis could get along after all. “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’m a saint compared to her.”

Curtis snickered. “I figured, golden boy.”

Earlier this morning, just before your departure

You shuffled around upstairs in the farmhouse, gathering the few items you came with in preparation to head back home. You knew the boys were out getting Curtis with cautious optimism they’d be back any minute. Bee and Cherry were downstairs, cleaning up the dishes from breakfast as you packed.

As you looked out the window, you saw an SUV turn off the dirt road and onto the driveway. You finished shoving everything else in your bag, slung it over your shoulder and went down the steps. When you got there, you saw Cherry walking out the front door as Bee was digging a broom and dustpan out of the closet.

You dropped your bag on the bench to scope the area, morning light glowing through the curtains. Your survey was cut short, though.

“Decks, be a dear and hold this dustpan for me, won’t you?”

You silently nodded, squatting down and looking at the shattered coffee mug. Bee didn’t seem on alert, though. She seemed relieved, and that’s when you heard Curtis’s voice on the other side of the door. You perked up before going to throw away the ceramic shards.

Just as you were dusting off your hands, the front door creaked open revealing Curtis a little battered and bruised, but walking just fine. As Bee put away the broom, you ran up to him and threw your arms around his neck. Your voice was muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“I never thought I’d have to say a statement like this twice in a couple months, but I’m so happy you’re alive.”

Curtis laughed and rubbed your back. “Sure am. And I agree. That’s enough mob business for now.”

You let out a watery laugh, pulling away and letting Bee in to see her cousin. The door remained open and your eyes went straight to your bag again. As you grabbed it and put it over your shoulder, you quickly shuffled out the door, past the two large and suited men, running towards the third one who had agreed to drive you home.

Steve had walked in the house, ready to talk to you, but was caught by surprise when you zipped past him. As Bucky joined the group in the living room, ready to debrief everyone, all Steve could focus on was you. He lurched forward on his feet, shoved by Curtis, and used the momentum to jog down to Bucky’s car where you had already gotten in the passenger seat.

Peter was still standing outside the driver’s side as you looked straight ahead, arms crossed and ready to leave now that Curtis was alright. You had no intention of speaking with Steve, even though he was knocking on your window with a concerned look on his face.

“Decks. Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

You shook your head just barely enough for him to see.

“Please? I want to apologize. I’m sorry.”

You reached a hand out to lower the window just a crack, still not granting him eye contact.

“Sorry for what, Steven?”

He took a deep breath, leaning forward so his one hand sat on the roof of the car, the other bracing the side mirror.

“Sorry for lying. Betraying your trust. Keeping the truth from you.”

You nodded, your lips pursed in slight anger and consideration. You finally whipped your head to face him.

“Did you ever think that maybe I wanted the choice, Steve? To know the truth. Decide whether or not what I felt for you was real by knowing all of you? You took that away from me.”

He nodded, staring down at the rocks in front of his feet. “I know, I know. That’s…..that was bad decision-making on my part-“

“See, but you got to make a decision. I didn’t. There’s a difference there. All that time spent together was a lie and a borderline waste.”

Steve shook his head, the watery blue of his eyes finally rising to meet yours again. “I don’t think it was. All those times with me, they were the real me, and I know they were the real you, too. That’s something I’ll never be sorry for: our time together. But I am sorry for taking the choice of you knowing what I might be getting you into.”

“You should be.” You faced forward in your seat again and rolled your window up, hearing Steve’s demands to Peter through the glass.

Next >

Bonus A/N: ooooooh! What does it all mean!? Hehehe🫣 was Curtis too nice to Steve? Be honest. Was bee too nice to Decks? Should she have pushed her back towards Steve a little harder?

Taglist: @evie-119 @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly @thedonswife13 @mercurial-chuckles @thezombieprostitute

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

characters in les mis (musical) ranked on how good their introductions were:

jean valjean: 9/10 he actually says his name and like . conveniently gives us his backstory while talking to javert which was nice

javert: 10/10 literally says his name and then says "do not forget my name" so forcefully i managed to not forget his name immediately so that was good

the bishop: 5/10 solid but not enough context. could've used a whole five minute song about only him beforehand tbh (kidding i swear)

fantine: 9/10 she does have people say her name which is good, she doesn't say it directly but like she does fill in her situation well. also i would feel bad for giving her a low score since her intro is literally her having a horrible time

bamatabois: 3/10 he never says his name and he's a huge asshole . only gets a three because it conveyed his character well + javert was there. but he also gets a three because i hate him

fauchelevent: 10/10 because. it's the runaway cart man . best song in les mis. also they do say his name so it works

cosette: 10/10 her name is said over and over again before she's even onstage + her introduction really shows the bleakness of the situation she lives in with the thénardiers

mme thénardier: 8/10 she doesn't say her name but it is a good introduction nonetheless . 8/10 instead of 9/10 because it isn't like. my favorite favorite but it is good

eponine: 6/10 controversial but sorry. i feel like they introduce us to eponine as kind of a brat (with her name which is nice) and even maybe as helping her mother directly to hurt cosette whereas we don't get a good enough reintroduction to her character in act two that gives us a better idea of her character as someone who's arguably just as hurt by the thénardiers as cosette. it's still okay though

m thénardier: 10/10 they say his name and then immediately he gets master of the house? it's a good introduction to the fact he's a big old thief and it's also kind of a bop. no notes

gavroche: 10/10 his name is in his first line. and it gives you a very good impression of him. i don't have any notes alright . i mean they kinda give the impression he's not related to thénardier but i can't fault them for not including that since it's not a HUGE plot point

enjolras: 2/10 i genuinely do not think anyone ever adresses this guy by name. i only remembered he was supposed to be there after i watched the play and then had to hunt down the actor's name in my playbill so i could see if i remembered him. like he just felt like another member of les amis tbh. two points because at least he's still characterized well

marius: 5/10 we hear his name from enjolras and because we get no context for his life before this point he feels so damn uninteresting... like all we get is the "ooh marius is in looove" without ANY context of his life outside of that. literally just there to fall in love with cosette and it shows

les amis de l'abc: 4/10 i am grouping them together because they literally get NO distinguishing qualities from each other in their introductions. grantaire making fun of someone is alright for things grantaire would do but like. can we not give that to courfeyrac?? why are all of them such non characters in this introduction?? like at least we get a few name drops from enjolras but i am just not really a fan. courfeyrac should be in here more since marius lives with him but i guess that doesn't matter because marius had his whole backstory surgically removed to make room for the brick to not be a million year long play. whatever. probably why lesgle gets nothing either despite the fact he introduced marius to les amis. didn't know this got on my nerves so much

patron-minette: 5/10 i mean. it's AN introduction but also to be fair i can't get mad too much since they're not major characters+ they are kinda interchangeable in the end. only montparnasse got a name drop but they did also keep my favorite eponine moment largely intact so. eh. whatever they get a five for being mediocre

[yuzurins]

# to tell you the truth

04 — strangers with memories

smau masterlist ∗ previous chapter ∗ next chapter

was it foolish for you to assume that you wouldn’t encounter anyone you knew while working at a bookstore less than a kilometre away from your university? 

probably.

be it anyone else, you most definitely wouldn’t have reacted this dramatically. but of course it had to be itoshi rin, coincidentally the one guy you wanted to avoid at all costs. you haven't seen the guy in person since high school graduation, and this was definitely not how you expected it to go.

when you first realized it was him back at the bookstore, you quickly bowed and turned around to pack up your belongings, hoping he got the message. it irked you to even spare a single glance at his face, as his features dug up memories that you worked too hard to bury. knowing rin, you expected him to leave immediately after to avoid interacting with you, but to your surprise, the athlete walked over expressionless and casually placed 2 books down.

“these two," he pauses and inhales, "please.”

you held back a very strong urge to gasp; never in a million years would you have ever believed that the itoshi rin would ever say that 6 letter word to you. what was this guy up to? was he trying to deploy reverse psychology or something?

“okay.” you pursed your lips, and scanned his books. “are you signed up for our membership program?”

he merely nods.

you raise an eyebrow. so it isn’t his first time here?

as he punches in his phone number, you take the moment to examine his figure out of curiosity, though not much as changed about him since high school. you do notice that his eyes seem half-lidded, and you hate it so much how the first thought that comes to mind is the fact that it’s past his regular bedtime. 

"what are you even doing here..." you mumble subconsciously a little too loudly, widening your eyes immediately after as if you had asked yourself that question. (though it wasn't really a question and more of a complaint)

rin scoffs, breaking his stupid act. "buying books? obviously?"

"did you have to come to this store?" the receipt starts coming out and you place it in a bag with the books, handing it over to him reluctantly after. "and this late too?"

he snatches the bag from you with more force than needed. "why does it matter to you? shouldn't you be grateful i'm even giving you business?"

"gee. wow. thanks."

"you better be."

you roll your eyes at him. "thought you still slept at 8 like an old person.”

"thought you were smarter than to assume nothing's changed." rin furrows his brows, narrowing his eyes at you.

shrugging, you rest your head on the back of your palm and stare at him. "i just thought you still had no life. and i'm not wrong about that, am i?"

he grits his teeth and you find yourself smirking at his exasperation, until he says, "at least what i do with my life gets me results, miss second place."

he did not just say that.

you retract your arm from the desk to cross them, a scowl adorning your face. "watch your words, itoshi. you better savour that moment as much as you can because it's not happening again."

rin smiles sarcastically before turning around and leaving. you scoff, but it isn’t until you hear the bell of the door ring that you feel safe enough to exhale. there was no way that that just happened right now. you were so focused on not trying not embarrass yourself in front of rin that it slipped your mind what books he bought, but it didn’t matter anyway. why did you even care if you embarrassed yourself in front of him? every memory about what happened then has been locked away, and you swear that you wouldn't hold a childish grudge anymore. the only reason why you still act bitter to him is because he suddenly keeps scoring higher than you, and your pride refuses to back down to him.

rin’s just an annoying guy who just keeps getting lucky in school, that’s all. 

a notification from reo brings you back to reality, reminding you that you’re technically working overtime now and you need to close up as soon as possible. 

as you walk out of the door, you fish out your phone and respond to incoming texts from the groupchat, humming to yourself as music played in your ears. the route home is more than familiar enough to you, but you still take a glance at the area around the bookstore just in case. there’s a park, a ramen store, an aesthetic cafe, and a convenience store that someone dressed in all black is exiting. that’s unusual, you think, because it’s late, and this neighbourhood is fairly secluded.

then you remember who was just at your store and would be in the proximity of the area. 

hurriedly, you turn around and speedwalk in the direction of your apartment. he shouldn’t have seen you, right?

there’s a slight rustling of leaves and you warily steal a quick glance behind you without thinking.

why on earth is itoshi rin walking behind you now?

notes: hi sorry it’s late i fg LOL n e ways i don't like this !!! but writer block is killing me and i need to write something so bear with this t-t you get the idea anyways (barely proof but its ok)

pairing ∗ itoshi rin x f!reader

synopsis — all you wanted was a peaceful and productive uni life, but despite your pleas, your plans start crumbling when the star of the football team, itoshi rin, begins to beat you in every aspect possible. as you confront the inevitable, what happens when you uncover secrets behind an unforgettable event from the past?

taglist ∗ send an ask / comment to be added or removed

@kitorin @starthz @jleijl @rintosei @strawberrypockybox @beanxiv @ode2rin @h4nman @hanmastattoos @kaitfae @idk-bro-gay @piichuu @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife @invictax @chaosinanutshell @exatse @kirameki-kumo @heartsoji @mellozhi @certaindreampost @limerence-lu @nutsinspector @kawaii-angelanne @rroxii @saesins @anngelllla @anurst @y-sabell-a @hellothere9597 @evilenchantresss @msameikanevaeh (if your name is in bold it means i can't tag you)

[fortisfilia]

Promised Part 8 - Tom Riddle x reader

Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)

Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.

Warnings: Arranged marriage

Word count: 3.1k

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 7 | Part 9

Part 8 - Slughorn's Party

Returning to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays was far less stressful this time. Now that Elsie was better, it was much easier to concentrate on your studies. Maybe you could also focus on Tom. Both things seemed equally important somehow. And the fact that you could see Camille again added to the good things Hogwarts had to offer.

You were sitting on her bed in her dorm, telling her everything that had been going on during the last days. The Gaunts who had wanted to force you to do an unbreakable vow, their fight with Tom, that Tom had stayed for a bit, the book he had gifted you and everything in between. 

“I can’t believe you got him a snake,” Camille laughed. “What do you think his family said about that?”

“I couldn’t care less what they think of it. I hope they’re mad at me.”

“Do you think Tom got in trouble for it?”

“I don’t think so. He knows how to stand his ground.”

“And the book he gave you? Do you think that it means something? It’s some sort of family heirloom after all.”

Thinking about it, you lay down on your back next to her. “I’m not sure. Do you think that was some kind of secret message from him?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll have to look into that.” You rolled over to face her. “And what have you done these days? Tell me all about your presents.”

“Well,” Camille said with a smile. “The presents weren’t the most exciting part of my holiday, to be honest.”

“Let me guess. You met someone! A guy?”

The smile on her face widened. “I didn’t meet him. I just kept in contact via owl.”

“Oh, Merlin! Who is it? Someone from school?”

She nodded.

“Go on, tell me!”

Her expression suddenly changed. “You have to promise not to be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“It’s someone you don’t exactly like,” she said, a thick tone of guilt in her voice.

Then you knew. “No. Don’t. It’s Ben Hilt, isn’t it?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“Oh, Camille,” you sighed and needed a moment to sort out your thoughts. “Why?”

“He is a very charming boy.”

“He’s a year younger than you.”

“So?” she giggled.

“He wanted to tell on me to the Ministry, so that I wouldn’t be able to marry Tom. Sticks his nose in everybody’s business.”

“He just wanted to help. He thought you were forced to do it. And you have to admit he wasn’t exactly wrong about that.”

“Have you told him about the pact?”

“Of course not! I would never. I told him right from the start that if he’s only after me to get information about Riddle and you, he could piss off.”

“And?”

“He didn’t piss off,” she smiled. “He’s really nice. We never talked about you and Tom after I had made it clear it was none of his business. He didn’t even bring it up to begin with. I did. I would never date someone who would want to harm you, I swear.”

“Ugh, I know,” you groaned. “You’re too good. For me and for Ben.”

“Shut up,” she said as she nudged your shoulder.

“Wait. Did you just say ‘date’ someone? Are you official?”

“No. I guess not. But maybe someday. Now, what are you going to wear to Slughorn’s party?”

Slughorn’s annual belated New Year’s party was one of the few exclusive gatherings happening in school. Students could only attend if they had gotten a personal invitation, from Slytherin’s headteacher Horace Slughorn, who would invite his favourite pupil, or rather, the ones he thought looked best in his trophy collection. 

Camille, Tom and you had all gotten Slughorn’s owl. You had not mustered up the courage to ask him about it. Even though you were going to marry him, that didn’t mean he wanted to go to the party together. Together, as in, on a date. It had felt too delicate talking about it directly, the fear of being rejected too present. So you had danced around the subject, trying to find out if you were on the same page. Until he had finally said what you had wanted to hear. He had asked when to pick you up as if the possibility of not going there as a couple had not even occurred to him.

Seven o’clock, as arranged. It had arrived so soon. You hastily fixed the small wrinkles on the hem of your dress with a spell when you heard him knock on the door. Tom looked very posh in his black suit, politely offering his arm. And off you went. Together.

The guests at the party were students from years six and seven, as well as some teachers. Camille, who had brought Ben with her, looked absurdly pretty in her golden dress. Ben couldn’t have been more proud. He talked to Camille continuously and just seemed head over heels for her. Right next to them stood two of Ben’s friends, looking all out of character in suits. Avery and Lestrange came without dates and seemed awfully nervous for some reason. They whispered to each other every time you looked their way.

And then there was Freda Morris. Hogwarts’ head girl, who had her eyes fixated on Tom from the moment you had entered the room. Had she even noticed you next to him? Was she aware Tom was spoken for? Everyone knew by now that you were engaged after all, the ring on your finger being a testament to that. Either she didn’t know, or she didn’t care. The expression she sent you, after carefully staring you up and down, told you though, that she was absolutely aware of your relationship. She looked like she wanted to throw you out the next window.

“What in Merlin’s beard?” you muttered quietly to yourself after she had finally turned away from you.

“Pardon?” Tom asked and came closer so he could hear you better.

“Nevermind. Let’s go over to Camille and Ben, shall we?”

Tom’s gaze fell right on the two. 

“Your friend came with Hilt?” he asked sternly and began to walk their way. 

“Um, yes. About that,” you said, pulling lightly on his arm to stop him. “They’re dating. Kind of. They’re not official yet, but, you know, it could lead somewhere.”

He looked like you had just given him the world’s most unnecessary information. “What are you trying to tell me?” 

“That we have to be nice,” you answered and gave him your best fake smile, demonstrating what you wanted him to do.

“Nice?” He gawked so blankly at you, it was almost comical. “You want me to be nice to Benjamin Hilt? After what he’s done?”

“Well… Yes.”

“Why?” Tom asked, genuinely not understanding what you meant.

“Because Camille is my best friend. And she likes him.”

Tom sighed.

“Answer me this,” he said. “Camille knows a lot about you, yes?”

“Yes.”

“I assume she knows about us.“ He started talking more quietly. “Our pact?”

“She does.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“So?” you asked.

“Isn’t it clear? He’s sweet-talking her to get information.”

“That’s what I first thought too. But Camille swore she wouldn’t tell him a thing. And she said she had made that clear to him from the beginning.”

Tom was still eyeing Ben sharply. 

“Come on,” you said and pulled him their way. “I trust Camille. It’ll be fine.”

“It‘s not her I don’t trust,” Tom said under his breath. “At least he's a true Gryffindor if he goes after her now. Either completely daft or actually courageous.” Your eyebrows lifted in question and he ducked his head grinning. “Remember I told you I’d take care of him when Marvolo sent his letter?”

“Yes?”

“I sort of did.”

Stopping in your tracks, you asked, “When? And what did you do?”

“A few weeks before Christmas. I just pulled him aside and talked.”

“Talked?”

“Well, I talked. He didn’t say much to be fair.”

“Tom, where did you take him?”

“The weather was nice so I took him outside.” 

Short answers again. This story wasn’t going to end well. “Where?”

He still feigned innocence, squinting his eyes as if he struggled to remember. “The whomping willow.”

“The wh- Tom! What in Merlin’s name were you thinking?”

“I said I’d take care of him, so I did!” He held his hands up in defence. “Also, he was only up in the air for a minute, okay? I held back.”

“I can’t believe you’re telling me this now,” you sighed, your fingers pressed against your forehead.

He shrugged. “I didn’t deem it important. For me, the issue was settled.”

“Okay.” Shaking your head, you started walking towards them again. “Since it’s settled, we can give him another chance. And vice versa.”

Tom didn’t answer, following you silently. 

When you greeted the two, Camille hugged you and gushed, “You look so beautiful! And you both know Ben, I believe.”

Of course, you did. Whether Ben wanted anything to do with you after what Tom had done was a different question. You offered him your hand and Ben shook it, despite it all, with an honest smile on his face.

“Fresh start?” you asked.

Ben nodded and turned to shake Tom’s hand as well. Tom looked at him seriously for a moment, inspecting his hand as if it was covered in Dragon Pox, until you nudged his side with your elbow, urging him to accept, which he reluctantly did.

Slughorn called for dinner before you could talk more, so you all went to the big oval table on the other side of the room. Ben sat down left of Camille, you to her right and Tom on your other side. Slughorn talked openly across the table, asking his students about their holidays, while dinner was served. Freda, obviously trying to impress, mentioned that she had been to France with her family, which didn’t have quite the effect on Slughorn that she had hoped it would.

“Pathetic,” you mumbled and Camille chuckled.

“Mean, aren’t we?” Tom whispered, a grin forming on his face.

“Me? Never.”

He exhaled a laugh and slowly grabbed your hand beneath the table, taking you by surprise. You looked at him, your fingers wrapping around his hand, then pulled them upwards and rested both his and your hand on the table. 

“Now you’re just cruel,” Tom jested when Freda looked over and saw the two of you.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you answered, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. “I’m merely holding my fiance's hand. That’s not an act of violence, is it?”

“Fiancé, huh?” Tom asked.

“Aren’t you?”

“You’ve never called me that before.”

He was right. You had never called him that in person, or when you had talked about him to anyone else. If you didn’t know better, you could have sworn that a crimson haze was creeping up his neck and across his face.

“Well,” you swallowed, feeling a wave of heat on your cheeks as well. “It’s what you are, whether we like it or not.”

Tom nodded and held your hand a little tighter while glancing down at the table. “Fair.”

After dinner, the guests spread around the room, chatting and drinking punch while they waited for the first dance of the evening. Slughorn had pulled Tom aside a while ago, asking about his opinions on different things concerning Potions, politics and the news. He visibly hung to Tom’s every word, clearly awed by his favourite student, nodded and agreed to most of the things Tom said. You turned your back on them and faced Camille and Ben, still hearing the two chat behind you and thinking of how well-spoken Tom was. He knew how to lull in every teacher by heart. Each word that left his mouth seemed carefully crafted for Slughorn’s ears only and made him react just as Tom wanted him to. Impressive. 

Having engaged in conversation with Camille and Ben, while still keeping an ear on Tom behind you, you heard that Slughorn finally set him free and wished him a nice evening. Tom would be joining you, no doubt, even though he still didn’t like Ben when suddenly an all too familiar voice started talking to him.

“Hello Tom,” Freda Morris said, sickly sweet. “How are you? How were your holidays?”

You shot Camille a look, to which she automatically checked the people behind you, eyes wide in disbelief when she peered back at you. 

“What are you going to do?” she mouthed silently.

“No idea,” you mouthed back.

Ben stared back and forth between Camille and you, completely confused until he finally noticed what you were whispering about. 

“Oh,” Ben snorted. “Someone’s looking for trouble.”

Alright. Freda had not given up on Tom yet. There was a knot in your stomach, pulling bitterly and twisting your insides. You tried to ignore it, took a deep breath and decided to listen to them first. Maybe you were overreacting. Jinxing her later was still an option.

“Oh yes, Paris was wonderful actually,” Freda enthused and had pronounced ‘Paris’ in a weird French accent. “It’s so cosy there around Christmas, you have to go someday.”

“Sounds nice,” Tom answered, rather casually. “Well, if you don’t mind, I-”

“Oh, Tom, actually,” she went on. “I wanted to ask you. Don’t you think we should open the first dance together, as head boy and girl? It’s a tradition, after all.”

Tradition? You had never heard of such a tradition before. Camille and Ben, now eavesdropping too, were as dumbfounded as you. Camille was sincerely shocked, while Ben’s mouth was open, half laughing, half speechless, like a fish on land gasping for air. It seemed that you had not been overreacting, so you turned around, now facing Tom and Freda’s backside.

“I don’t know if that’s actually a tradition, Freda,” Tom said, looking back at you briefly, one side of his mouth pulling upwards.

“Philip Elms and Eve Sterling opened the dance at last year’s party,” she huffed. “They were head girl and boy too.”

“Correct,” Tom agreed. “But they were dating at the time, weren’t they?”

Freda didn’t answer.

“And since we are not dating, I have to politely decline,” he said, again looking at you. “Now excuse me, I have to talk to my fiancée.”

Tom left Freda standing there and the four of you watched her wandering off. No one said a word, Camille was holding her breath until Ben burst out laughing. “Mate,” he chuckled. “That was… deadly.”

Tom didn’t laugh, squinting at what Ben had just called him, but nodded appreciatively before he turned to you, offering his hand.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Opening the dance? The music has just started and Slughorn told me I should do it.”

You shook your head smiling, took his hand and let him take you over to the dance floor.

“For someone who accused me of being cruel, you’re doing a very good job yourself, you know,” you said, keeping an eye out for Freda, in case she planned on hexing you. Better safe than sorry. 

“Ah, she’ll be fine,” Tom assured. “Or would you have preferred if I took her to dance?”

The question didn't need an answer, so you just gave him a knowing look when you arrived on the dance floor, where you got in position. Tom placed his hand on your waist and took your right hand in his other one, holding both of them upright below shoulder height. All the guests had gathered around the floor, waiting for you to start dancing. Luckily there wasn’t enough time to get too nervous. It had all happened in a matter of moments.

“You know how to waltz, right?” Tom asked.

“It’s been a while, but-”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll lead,” he said and took the first step, spinning in circles in three-four time.

Tom was a good dancer, which wasn’t surprising. He probably had taken courses some years ago, just like you, upon your parent’s request. You kept up with him quite well, only taking a wrong step every now and then.

“If I had known, I would’ve practised…”

“It’s alright, people will join in soon. You’re doing well,” he reassured you and lightly squeezed your waist.

The fact that you had never been so close to him for more than a few seconds became more apparent the longer he held onto you. Suddenly the spinning felt faster, all eyes focusing on you, burning holes right through you. The only thing steadying you was Tom and his hands. You spotted Camille in the crowd, who was smiling at you, holding up her hand and giving you a thumbs up. That made you feel a bit more at ease, so you let Tom lead you round the floor, twirling away from people’s stares. Finally, halfway through the song, pairs of people joined in and filled up the dance floor, leaving not much room to be glared at.

Tom looked at you, a proud smile adorning his face, his eyes softer than you had ever witnessed before.

“What’s that I’m seeing there?” you asked. “A genuine smile? Certainly a rare sight.”

He swallowed, not changing his expression. “Camille was right.”

“She usually is. But what do you mean?”

“Earlier, when we went up to them. She said you look beautiful. You do.”

People’s faces around you seemed to blur and you couldn’t hear them properly anymore. The only thing you saw was Tom’s face and how his eyes still stared into yours. It felt as if you weren’t dancing anymore, but rather floating above the ground, a swarm of butterflies emerging from your stomach. Your hand went from Tom’s shoulder behind his neck on its own and pulled him closer. Closer, just a tiny bit closer, so that you were able to view every single one of his eyelashes. His chest bumped against you and his cologne tickled your nose. You let yourself sink into the smell of bergamot and lemon, feeling how his hand squeezed your waist a bit tighter by the second.

Closer, until you both shut your eyes and your lips met in the middle, kissing Tom right out there on the dance floor. You were the only people who had stopped spinning, even though it still felt like you spiralled around a hundred miles an hour. Butterflies turned into aeroplanes, rotating and crashing gently against each other, just like the two of you.

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 9

Tags: @ariachaos

[tgmsunmontue]

You need to learn how to fall 8/10

Hangster (and IceMav) - Bradley is too tall to be a naval aviator and instead becomes a sky diver, specialising in spin recovery. He is a civilian contractor to the military to teach pilots how to survive parachute spins from ejections. A more in-depth version of this post.

(Likely to be updating this daily now until it's finished, another 2-3 parts max).

PROLOGUE 2003-2006 2007-2010 2011-2015 2016+ ~2019 ~2019 (contd 1)

>>Bradley

>>Jake

(2019 continued - Part 2)

                He’s offered a drink and he accepts a cup of coffee, even if it’s the last thing his nerves need. Maverick is watching him over his own hot drink, and Iceman is quietly sitting there and Jake feels so out of his depth. He’s not familiar enough with the Admiral, but he’s never clocked a wedding ring on Maverick in the last couple of weeks, but there is definitely one there now and the Admiral is wearing one as well. Okay then. A plate of plane-shaped shortbread is on the coffee table and he stares at them, because this all feels a little surreal. Maverick sees him staring at them and pushes the plate closer.

                “You can have some, they’re good. Ice’s favorite.”

                “I know they’re good. Bradley sent me some…”

                “Did he now? Should have known he didn’t eat that many himself…” Iceman murmurs quietly and Jake can hear the underlying amusement and he wonders how Bradley managed to talk all about his upbringing and at the same time completely fail to mention who he lived with. Who raised him. He wonders when exactly Bradley was planning on telling him and he reaches for a cookie. He’s chewing when he hears steps thump up onto the porch and he doesn’t miss the look the Maverick and Iceman exchange.

                “Hey, I’m home! Whose car is in the drive?”

                “We’re through here!” Iceman calls out, and Jake would swear he’s holding back laughter. Then Bradley is standing in the doorway, curls almost brushing the top of the doorframe and even travel-rumpled he looks good. Jake stands, brushes his hands on his pants and is torn between what he should do.

                “Shit. Jake. Hi.” At least he looks happy to see him, grinning and Jake grins back, immediately feeling more relaxed at Bradley’s easy acceptance of his unexpected presence.

                “Hi. Was going to surprise you.”

                “Think he got the surprise though.”

                “Pete, shut up,” Iceman says, and he’s standing as well, reaching and tugging on Maverick’s hand.

                “We’ll leave you to it. Nice to meet you Jake.”

                “And you sir.”

                He turns back to Bradley, who has shifted into the room, letting Maverick and Iceman move past him and he looks nervous now, glancing at where Maverick and Iceman have disappeared to and back to Jake.

                “So. There’s that. Still want to date me?”

                The expression on his face is blank and Jake realizes it’s a challenge, that maybe he thinks Jake will say no because he’s now in the too-hard basket or something. Well, he’s going to learn that Jake never backs down from a challenge, and he’s wanted this for years and he’s not going to let a Captain and an Admiral stop him. Especially as all they seem to be is amused by the whole thing.

                “Yes.”

                “Really?”

                “I mean, I would have liked a heads up, but I –”

                “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way. I wanted to tell you in person, because I know they’re kind of a big deal…”

                “Not your fault, I shouldn’t have just turned up on your doorstep.”

                “You turned up on my doorstep…” Bradley says, and the grin he gives Jake then is bright, fingers are tugging at his belt loops, drawing him close and he can feel the heat building between their bodies.

                “I sure did. Hi.”

                “Not actually his doorstep, his doorstep is next door… It’s A for Admiral and B for Bradley, it’s not that hard to remember!”

                “Mav! For fucks sake, leave them alone. Sorry about him. Though you do have your own place Bradley…”

                “Yeah yeah, going now… I’m just going to go and grab my bag. One second.”

                Then Bradley is going back outside, Jake doesn’t even get a word in, and the Admiral is back, looking at him, and it’s definitely Admiral Kazansky, not Tom or Iceman, expression deadly serious.

                “Lieutenant. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention to anyone what you learnt tonight.”

                “Learnt what? I simply surprised Bradley on his return home sir,” Jake states, because he can keep his mouth shut, especially for this. Also he hates to think about any of the alternatives if he doesn’t. Oh fuck, he can never break Bradley’s heart. He’ll be a dead man. Or permanently stationed in the South Pacific shuttling shellbacks back and forth over the equator, or in Antarctica watching Hercules land and take off and then nothing but darkness for months on end.

                “Good man. Thank you.”

…             …             …

                Bradley leads Jake through to his part of house, shoves the door open and then deadlocks it behind him, dumping his bags and turning toward Jake. It’s still relatively early, they could go out for dinner, if that’s what Jake wanted.

                “Sorry about that trial by fire, I really didn’t mean for you to have to go through that. At least not without me there as well.”

                “It’s okay. Could have been a lot worse. I am very curious as to how you know them though…”

                “Mav is my godfather. My dad knew Tom from flight school, and they were all at Top Gun when my dad died. So I inherited a lot of honorary uncles and all of them fly… jumping out of planes to get away from them was just a coping mechanism…” Bradley jokes, and he doesn’t get much further as Jake’s hand is in his hair, fingers twisting in his curls, bringing his face down to meet his lips with a kiss. It’s gorgeously soft, gentle but with layers of promise and intensity and he lets himself just melt into it; the relief of Jake being completely unworried about Ice and Mav washing through him. He feels Jake’s hand on his hip, bringing him close and he lets himself press close.

                “Welcome home,” Jake murmurs against his lips, and he grins, places another kiss against the corner of his lips.

                “Mmm. Definitely up there with the top five best times I’ve come home…”

                “Let’s take it into first place hmm?”

                “You sure I can’t interest you in dinner, or a shower? We don’t have to, uh, just fall into having sex… not that I have a problem with that either.”

                “All of the above, I could eat, definitely interested in helping you shower, more than interested in having sex. But it’s not just sex. I want to date you…”

                “Yeah… okay. That all sounds great. We’ve been dancing around each other for long enough I guess…”

                “And whose fault is that?”

                “Couldn’t have you thinking I was easy.”

                “Nothing about you suggests that you’re easy. However, everything suggests that you’re worth it…”

                Bradley can feel the flush in his cheeks, embarrassed at the sincerity in Jake’s voice, but Jake is running a hand over his chest, stomach, pressing firmer over his crotch where he is definitely getting hard and he groans, lets his own hand squeeze one of Jake’s ass cheeks.

                “How about we place a food order for something to be delivered in… hmm… ninety minutes. That’ll give us enough time for that shower.”

                “Jesus, how long are your showers?”

                “It’s what comes after the first shower and before the second shower…”

                “I’m an idiot…”

                “It’s okay, I think you might be a little distracted right now.”

                “You’re a menace,” Bradley mutters, ducking his head enough to nip at Jake’s neck.

                “You like it.”

                “I do…”

                They figure out what to order, but the whole time they orbit each other, Jake doesn’t seem to want to stop touching him, like he doesn’t want to risk Bradley disappearing on him and he has no reason not to accommodate it. Let’s him flick the buttons on his shirt out, place kisses on skin as it’s exposed and he returns the favor, undresses Jake with the same level of care.

                “How?” Jake asks, his fingers running lightly over the scars on his chin, jaw, neck.

                “Bad landing. Came in too fast. Broke my arm…”

                “Oh, I watched a video of that.”

                “Really?”

                Jake blushes and Bradley forces himself not to laugh in delight, thinking that Jake is obviously as enamored of him to have looked at old jump videos. He pulls him under the spray of water and lets the warm water fall over them, brings the shower head much lower than he usually has it so Jake can actually look at him without getting a face full of water.

                “Yeah, a while ago now.”

                “Really? How long ago?”

                “Few years. When we first met,” Jake says, head ducking to not meet his eyes, mouth sucking at the skin of his left pec in an obvious attempt to distract him, so he lets Jake get his way. Runs a hand through Jake’s now slick hair, urges him to meet his mouth in a kiss, shifts his body to press against him, lets his free hand run to cup Jake’s growing erection.

                “God your hands… they feel huge.”

                “I’m proportional,” Bradley says, gripping tighter, starting a slow teasing hand job.

                “Yeah you are… holy shit.”

                “Shut up, you’re making me self-conscious.”

                “No wonder your brain stops working, all your blood is needed here…” Jake says, palming Bradley’s cock and he laughs, presses himself into Jake’s hand.

                They stand there, unrushed, hands moving on each other’s cocks, mouths licking over wet skin, back to kissing before exploring somewhere else. The skin over Jake’s collar irritates easily, his moustache making the skin red, and he wonders if it’s going to be a thing all over, scrapes his chin with its stubble over the flesh of Jake’s shoulder and yep, looks like it. He’s achingly hard and a little surprised at it, then realizes it’s probably the weeks and months of flirting, this build-up, the wanting this, gaining momentum with every message and phone call, regardless of the content.

                He feels Jake’s hand slip around them both and he grunts, shifts a little to accommodate the height difference because while Jake’s not short, he’s also nowhere near as tall as Bradley. He lets his hand cover Jake’s, moves with it, catches Jake’s mouth with his own and revels in the little broken sounds they’re both making.

                All his senses feel hyperaware, the smooth feel of Jake’s skin under his fingers as he touches his cock, body pressed against him in other places, Jake’s fingers digging into his bicep, his own fingers in Jake’s hair. The non-taste of the shower water making the taste of Jake’s mouth even sweeter where he can taste the coffee and lemon-rosemary shortbread he’d been eating. There’s no build up of scent, the running water doesn’t allow for it, but he gets little whiffs, sweaty arousal before it’s rinsed away. The sound of water hitting the hard tiles, glass door and skin creating all sorts of different rhythms, slick skin and their shared breath, coming faster as their lips slide in messy kisses.

                The sight though, the sight he’s being afforded is something else again. Golden hue of Jake’s skin turned red in places by Bradley’s own doing, dark blonde hair turned dark under the water, lips swollen, cock disappearing between their joined hands, his eyes either watching Bradley with intensity or squeezing tightly shut as his hips jerk a little into their combined grip. It’s all stunning. He can’t tell if Jake’s close, doesn’t know him like this well enough, looks forward to becoming well acquainted with all his tells.

                “Close, god you’re hot…”

                “Fuck yes, come on…”

                He doesn’t bother holding back, lets his orgasm wash through him, his entire body shuddering with the release and he groans appreciatively. Feels good. So good. Now he can focus on Jake, drop to his knees and suck him off, or keep the hand job going, whatever the hell he wants, Bradley will give it to him. Which is a harder firmer grip on his cock, Jake guiding his hand now. He tightens and jerks quickly, presses his mouth to Jake’s neck and sucks, feels Jake starting to tremble and he moves quickly, letting go for the briefest of moments which still draws a whine of discontent from Jake. Then he’s behind him, his cock pressing against Jake’s ass, but the angle for his hand is imminently better and he can’t kiss Jake easily like this, but he can definitely focus on getting him off and he murmurs words against the edge of Jake’s ear, tells him how much he wants to see him come apart for him.

                Jake shakes and trembles as he comes and Bradley holds him against his chest, his hand slowing until Jake jerks away, over sensitive and he pulls his hand away; peppering the back of Jake’s neck and across his shoulders with kisses before Jake is turning and kissing him firmly, hands on either side of his face.

                “Welcome home. Properly.”

                “Welcome home handjob. That’s a tradition I could get behind…”

                “I aim to please…” Jake says, and Bradley can feel the smile against his chest and he can’t stop smiling in return.

                They dry off and he’s a little disappointed to note that the redness of beard burn is fading already, he goes through his drawers and tries to find something that might fit Jake, their torsos are similarly sized, but his pants are all going to swim on him.

                “Get you something of Mav’s to wear…” Bradley says as he watches Jake pull on a pair of his old pajama pants, rolling up the legs. He looks soft, hair going fluffy, also wearing one of Bradley’s old University t-shirts, which actually fits given how much it’s shrunk over the years. He draws Jake down onto the sofa with him, tucks himself around him and lets himself exhale, feeling warm and content, everything settling around him.

                He can’t believe that Jake’s here, not just here in San Diego but in his home. The warm honey-like joy crystallizes into something harder, colder and he realizes that Jake is here, being trained by Mav for something, because he’d still be having nearly daily phone calls with them while he was away. They’ve become very accustomed at having conversation which speak volumes without giving specifics. He doesn’t have that practice with Jake though, hadn’t thought about getting further information from either Mav or Ice. Doesn’t know if he wants to bring it up but can’t ignore what he knows is coming.

                “So, you’re here for whatever top secret mission Mav is currently working on, the one that is making Ice incapable of sleeping. Potentially a mission that Mav is also going on, which means it’s fucking risky because his call sign isn’t Maverick because he plays it safe.”

                “You jump out of planes for a living.”

                “Yes, and yet there are still less deaths in that then there are amongst naval aviators.”

                Jake lets out a long breath and Bradley waits.

                “What do you know about the mission?”

                “Nothing. Well. Highly classified. Mav having to teach a bunch of young upstarts. I commiserated with him.” Jake snorts and ducks his head, flushes a little and he wonders what else is there that he doesn’t know about. “When do you fly out?”

                “Monday, oh-five-hundred.”

                “Fuck. So a little over two days.”

                “Yeah. You can see why I didn’t particularly want to wait until tomorrow night to see you.”

                “Yeah, I’m glad you decided to come see me tonight… how did you get the address anyway?”

                “You put it on the package of cookies you sent me.”

                “Oh. Right. Of course, makes sense that it was just… not my part of the house address. I do actually have my own front door. You aren’t going to have to go through Mav and Ice each time you want to see me.”

                “I’d do it anyway.”

PART NINE

[taters169]

The Tin

Part 8 (prev)

Vince did his very best not to wake the little man as he crept into the kitchen the next morning. He switched on the kettle and got out his mug as quietly as he could.

He was just creeping back out of the kitchen with his coffee as the tiny lump in the blanket began to stir.

"Good morning" said Vince keeping his voice soft.

Michael sat up suddenly throwing the blanket off himself and scrabling to stand up

"Hey, it's ok it's just me remember?"

Michael locked eyes with the giant as his memories of the night before came flooding back to him, being so sure he was going to die some gruesome death only to be taken home by this seemingly kind giant instead. Michael sank back down onto the blanket and took some deep breaths to get his racing heart back under control.

"Sorry little dude, I didn't mean to scare you"

Vince sat down at the table with his drink.

"Do you want some coffee? Or tea?" Asked Vince

"Erm, could I have some water please sir?" Asked Michael quietly

"Of course you can my guy but please, you don't need to call me sir or anything" Vince refilled the bottle cap he'd used last night and put it down close to Michael. "I guess whoever tied you up like that made you call him that?"

Michael nodded not looking at the giant

"Well whoever that evil twat was I swear he's not getting near you again."

Tears threatened to fall again as Michael looked up at Vince trying to gauge if he was sincere

"I'm very sorry that happened to you. Was he the one who shrank you? We can go to the police today if you want"

"Shrank?" Asked Michael suddenly confused

"Yeah like made you so small?"

"Oh, no, I've always been small... erm I'm not a human" Michael began to worry that the giant had only been so kind because he thought he was dealing with another human.

"Wow! Well I'm not sure what would have been a bigger shock to be honest, the thought that someone can shrink other people or the fact that tiny people just exist somehow. So what are you then? Some kind of wingless fairy? A pixie?"

"I'm a borrower" said Michael

"A what?"

"A Borrower" said Michael again "we borrow stuff from humans to survive, we're meant to stay hidden"

"But that guy found you?" Asked Vince

Michael looked down and nodded.

"I don't get why someone would do that? Leave you stuck in a tin like that, that's awful"

"Hes done a lot worse than that over the years, at least when he stuck me in the time out box I wasn't being hurt. But it was still scary being trapped. This time he said he was done with me though, he said he was going to "get rid of his broken toy" because I'd said no to him again" Michael sniffed as tears started to roll down his face remembering how scared he'd been. "I didn't think I'd ever get out again"

Vince could feel himself welling up at the sight of this poor little guy being so scared and hurt. Years he'd said, captured and tortured by a giant for years. He blinked hard pushing the tears back down.

"I'm so sorry you went through that. I can understand why you'd be so scared of me but I swear I'd never hurt you. Like I said last night if there's somewhere you want me to take you I will, you deserve to feel safe"

"I don't have anywhere to go" said Michael sadly "it's been such a long time since I've even seen another borrower"

"Well you're welcome to stay here if you like, you can 'borrow' whatever you want. Or you could be like my roommate if you want? It would be nice to have some company" said Vince

"Really?" Asked Michael not really daring to believe him "And you wouldn't keep me locked up?"

"Of course not! You can come and go as you please! We can get you set up with your own place here somewhere if you like. It'll be nice having someone to cook for" Vince said with a smile

"Ok then, I think I'd like that" said Michael. He was still wary of the giant man but he'd been kind to him so far. Maybe things would work out alright after all.

Check out the masterlist for post story drabbles

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel For Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 8]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

MASTERPOST

SUMMARY: It was everything but easy to get used to this situation for both Noah and Jules.

WARNINGS: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, swearing, mentions of death, ...

A/N: If you read my post about crying over my writings while my friends are partying... I was referring to this :) do what you want with that information.

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit @signs-of-ill-portent @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @ada-clarence @wild-child-7747

If you wanna be added to the taglist of this story, please DM me or let me know in the comments!

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

Not even two hours later, Noah and Jules found themselves awkwardly walking next to each other in a more secluded area of the park they were at. The few people they met seemed oblivious to their presence, providing the two with some privacy for their more than strange encounter.

So, while they walked aimlessly and no one dared to say anything, Jules' mind was racing. She chewed her lip, fearing that she would be torn from the world at any moment. Even though she had never really been told not to show herself to Noah, she felt like she had broken all the rules at once. While she only wanted to calm Noah’s nerves, her actions had led to something far beyond her control and it deeply terrified her.

Awkward tension hung in the air. Noah had absolutely no idea what to say to her and Jules was equally at a loss for words.

“This… is so fucking strange.”, Noah finally admitted, breaking the silence between the two. Jules immediately nodded; her gaze fixed on her trembling hands.

They fell into another strange silence, before Noah broke it again with an awkward question. “So… How old are you?”

Jules couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “What a weird question to ask a dead person.” Noah awkwardly gifted her a half-smile. “I was twenty-two years old before I died.”

Noah nodded a bit while processing her words. He swallowed hard before asking something again, desperately trying to break the awkwardness. “Is it insensitive to ask how you died?”

Jules felt how her heart sunk a little. The thought of her death weighing heavy on her shoulders. She thought deeply about her next words before mumbling. “I got run over by a car.”

With that Noah abruptly stopped walking, turning to face Jules. “Oh shit.” He mumbled. The pieces clicked into place as he remembered the tears running down her face when she had saved him from a similar fate.

For a long moment Noah just stared at her, a heavy silence falling between them, as Noah realized the trauma she had endured. He took a cautious step towards her while she couldn’t quite read what was going on in his head. She saw how he chewed the inside of his cheek before carefully grabbing her hand. “I’m deeply sorry I made you go through this again.” His eyes locked onto hers.

As she gazed into his eyes, she felt a sudden and unexpected rush of emotion. The world around the to seemed to fade into the background, while Jules started to wonder if it was the sun hitting her skin or Noah making her feel that warmth. All she could see was the symmetry of his face, the way his coffee-colored eyes sparkled with guilt and something she couldn’t quite understand, and the gentle curve of his lips. Even though she was looking at Noah at a daily basis, it felt like she had never truly looked at him before and now… In that exact moment… she couldn’t help but marvel at his sheer beauty and even more: The beauty of his heart. She couldn’t believe his words. Noah was apologizing for almost dying because it caused her to relive her trauma.

"Don't say that, Noah. I'm here to do my job," she breathed out, still captured by the soft look in his eyes.

Noah noticed how his heart ached a little when she called this whole thing "her job," but he needed to get his thoughts straight. It was her job. She wasn't here because she wanted it so badly; she was here because she was probably assigned to be here.

Noah let his gaze wander over her again. He had seen beautiful people over the years, but something about her intrigued him. When he was being honest with himself, she wasn't exactly the type of woman he would have gone after, but he just couldn't stop admiring her.

“I just want you to know that I will be more careful from now on.” He stated and squeezed her hand that he was still holding for a short second before letting go of her. He slowly started walking again, while Jules tried to process the scene for a second longer.

Jules walked quietly behind him as they continued their stroll through the park.

She took a deep breath and noticed how it felt like the two of them were in a strange, almost dream-like place. The sun was slowly setting down and its warm, gentle light casted a beautiful glow over everything. The park became even more quiet with little to no people walking around and the sounds of leaves rustling in the wind making Jules feel a bit at ease.

Noah than broke the silence with a reflective tone. “You know… It’s kind of weird,” He began, his voice soft. “What?” Jules asked, intrigued by his words.

“I don’t know you and I wasn’t supposed to… I know I shouldn’t feel this way but being with you… It’s like I’ve known you forever… I feel so safe.” He continued. Jules was touched by his words.

“Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to feel when you’re with your guardian angel.” She answered him, trying to provide some kind of comfort.

“What are you trying to imply?” Noah asked curious. “Wouldn’t it be kinda weird if you felt uncomfortable around your guardian angel?” Jules answered.

“Are you saying I’m not in charge of my own feelings?” Noah teased her, causing Jules to cover her face with her hair as she noticed the warmth of her cheeks.

“Not at all. All I’m saying is that your mind might trick you.” She answered him, causing him to come to a stand once again. Noah, still trying to make sense of the situation, playfully poked Jules on the shoulder, as if to confirm that she was really there with him.

Jules, surprised by the touch, let out a genuine chuckle. "What the fuck?" she said, mirroring his playfulness. Noah laughed in response. "What? You can't tell me my mind is playing tricks on me and not expect me to try and touch you. After all, I was just told I have a guardian angel and said guardian angel is now strolling through a park with me like it’s the most normal thing in the world."

They started walking again. Their playful exchange was a brief but welcome break from the overwhelming strangeness of their situation. However, Jules decided not to reveal her current state of mind to Noah. She simply smiled, her gaze shifting over the trees around them.

“Noah?” She finally sighed out; her voice even more quiet than it had been before.

He looked at her from the side, his eyes filled with curiosity, eager to hear what she had to say.

“I need you to promise me something.” Jules requested with a more serious tone. “What is it?” – “You can’t tell anyone about what’s happening here.”

There was a long pause as Noah contemplated the weight of her words. Keeping this bizarre experience a secret would be a significant challenge, but he understood the implications of sharing it with others. Finally, he nodded and said, "I promise. The boys would probably think I'm losing my mind and send me to a psychiatric ward anyways, so yeah... I promise."

Jules chuckled softly, her laughter mixed with a hint of sadness, as the gravity of their situation weighed on her.

“I like your laugh.” Noah than stated, causing Jules to blush a little. Every word he said to her felt like a rush of adrenaline. She knew it was wrong to let her emotions occupy her mind that much, but she felt the need to be a little selfish. Noah made her feel alive, and she knew it would be over soon.

The end of their spent time was nearing when they reached the edge of the small park. Hesitantly they stood in front of each other, both not knowing what to say again. The tension started to form again when they realized, it was probably the last time they ever looked each other in the eyes.

When their eyes locked, both of them felt that rush again and without even thinking they fell into each other’s arms. For Jules it almost felt like her heart was going to explode, the mix of the comfort and sadness washing over her. She felt how she teared up.

Noah, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling any different. He held Jules so close to him, fearing she would vanish into thin air at any moment. He let his emotions get a hold of him and almost cried out. “Please don’t leave me, Jules.”

Jules almost felt how her heart broke a little. She wanted nothing but to stay in Noah's arms but she knew she needed to leave. She tried to say something but her words just didn't want to come out. Instead her lips trembled as her hands grabbed the fabric of his hoodie harder. She didn't have the strength to leave. Not now that she had him this close. It felt like she was addicted to his touch.

"I beg you. Please stay." - "You know, I can't."

Right then she felt Noah shift in their embrace, his head placed in the crook of her neck. The spot became damp. He also was crying quietly.

"The day isn't over. You promised me a day, Jules." He mumbled into her hair as she stroked his back. She couldn't talk, fearing she would break down.

"Please, Jules." Noah continued. "I'm sounding like a fucking idiot. I don't even know what has gotten into me but please. Come to our concert tonight. Just watch it. I need you to be there."

"I need to go, Noah." The girl cried out and tried to get out of their hug even though she didn't want to.

"Promise me." Noah pleaded but suddenly felt a cold rushing through him as he realized he was slowly beginning to hug himself.

And with that...

Jules was gone.

[wonik1ss]

✦ 9 lives — ❝ seol sullyoon ❞

[ you're not for sale, woah-oh-oh ]

synopsis • for 8 lives you and seol yoon a have meet and never interacted, meaning you would die without ever meeting your sole mate until you walked into the pet shop and saw her standing there ( 1.1k ) imagine / fluff a lil sad but happy ending so :) < song : not for sale - enhypen >

a/n : spoiler ! gra gra boom bitch x2

“in this world if not by your ninth life you find your one.. the one that lights up your life.. makes you happy all the time..!”

“mom the road!”

“will always be here.. but you won’t! just humor your birth giver for a sec kid”

“this ‘kid’ is thirteen.. I’m basically an adult..”

“ya.. so we need to talk about this.. you have eighteen years to find your one before you die..”

“graphic”

“haha.. “

“how will I know though..?”

“your little heart tattoo will go from black to white”

“so was dad like no-“

“he wasn’t but you have me and that’s all that matters”

“MOM THE TRUC-“

you sat dazed in your hospital bed while your mom lay dead on the bed over. no sobs, no tears just shallow breathing.

“y/n- is it? your grandparents are here”. looking up your grandma opened her arms and you ran into the bawling. that was the last time you really cried. not over low grades.. boys.. or girls.. not even over your college acceptance letter.

“ooh don’t you look darling..”

“ok I got everything.. so I’ll see you in four months..”. you beamed at your grandma as she fixed your skirt and kissed your cheek.

“go.. go.. the wheel of fortune is on..!”. you laughed as your grandpa hugged you and slid fifteen bucks into your pocket and winked. when you got to college nothing really changed. wake up.. force yourself to get ready.. go to school.. sleep. and repeat. one day though while you sat in the corner of another useless college party you remembered a memory.

so as a drugged up.. thirty year old? tried to hit on you, you ran out and called an uber. getting out at the nearest pet shop. walking in you looked around. what dog did your mom want to get again..

“hi..?”

“oh hi I’m trying to buy a-“

“dog! hehe.. we have a range in breed and attitude so-“

“shit sorry I’m off my shift yoona will be here in a minute just wait here..!”

you nodded and looked around. what a small business leaving their customer unattend-

then you saw her.. or maybe him..

a tiny little pup with a gold coat. you opened the gate and stared at.. it? you both tilted your heads and then it jumped into your lap.

“aren’t you a peppy one..”

“ya charlie’s such a cute little girl huh”. you jumped.

“oh sorry I’m sullyoon or seol yoon a..”. you felt a tingle thinking it was your phone you bowed to the girl and went to answer it. but when you pulled your phone out you only saw that your heart was now white..

“ouch..!”. a few minutes later charlie I’m hand you decided to pop the question.

“so do you need anything else..”

“your number..? maybe I mea-“

“it’s on the receipt..”

“I invite you over and you being a.. record..”

“I swear it’s good !”. sullyoon giggled as she let you in and put the record on.

cheoeum neukkineun feeling

neol mannago jakkuman simjangi isanghae

“so.. who are they”. you sat inbetween the two college beds with the girl as the song went on.

“some old band named enhypen..”

simjangeun for sale (Ooh)

sarangdo for sale

sullyoon sang along and you joined in jokingly. soon you both just blankly stared at eachother. her eyes went down and so did yours. when you locked lips you swore you heard fireworks. with your hands in her hair and hers on your waist you both somehow got up and your back was now on her bed. a door opened and sullyoon threw the covers over you both.

“I’ll be back in five k?”

“ok kyujin.. have fun”. you giggled as you heard the door start to close.

“I new you had a girlfriend !”

your next proper date want proper at all. you sat on the floor flour dotting your face while sullyoon put out the fire on her stove top.

“It’s fine it’s gone !”. you giggled as you stood up and saw her face. she giggled and grabbed on to your top and tugged you closer.

“what’s so funny?”. you tried to deadpan while sullyoon played with your hair.

“the brownies”

“hmm”

“are burnt”

“then.. I guess I’ll just eat you !”. you ran but she was to fast, sullyoon tickled you while simultaneously kissing your neck.

“sully it stinks !”

“you smell like strawberries !”

“babbbbbby”

“bobo bear… “

“loooooser”

you threw a pillow at the bored girl on your bed.

“what sully?”

“excuse me? this is our.. 1..3.. 6th date! and your studying..?”. your laptop magically closed with sullyoon flipping you onto her lap.

“so you want a dumb girlfriend”. the taller girl took of your glasses.

“no I want a present one.. can we watch rapunzel now?”. as sullyoon cupped your face and got closer you cracked.

“fuck.. fine”. charlie jumped into your lap and you laughed as sullyoon pulled up the movie.

four months you were drunk on the girls love. with out turning a finger you knew when she was the one hugging you. how she always need you around after a test. and how your grandparents loved her. sitting down with charlie in your lap now three times his last size sullyoon walked over.

“thier dead asleep..”

“that’s what happens when your old..”

“k love let’s go.. I wanna get your grandma those strawberry sandwiches she keep raving about”. you nodded and placed down charlie he dropped dead asleep.

putting on your coat you felt a kiss on your cheek.

“le-go girl”

“I told you to get off that ipad..”

“but I’m a minecraft pro girl !”. you giggled as sullyoon flexed her ‘muscles’. then something caught your eyes.

“y/n wait !”

“it’s perfect”

“it’s so cold..”. you lightly punched your the taller girl as you bent down and hit her with some snow.

“abuse !”. sullyoon pouted as you giggled, which slowly faded as you felt snow hit your face. brushing of your clothes you smiled at her.

four months had passed and now you both were in the middle of winter. playing in the snow.

“so would you go with me to the.. lodge.. i kno-“

“I’m your girlfriend ofcourse I would”.

sullyoon giggled ‘your’..

as your crossed the street she kissed you on the cheek and you giggled. so much you didn’t see it coming. and other truck. so you would go out the way your mom did. at least you were in her arms.. maybe your ashes would be for sale at some ju-

“neoraneun jonjaeneun naege isseo

you're not, you're not for sale..”

your eyes slowly opened.

“it’s our song..”. infront of you was a bruised sullyoon still smiling.

“why am I not for sale at some garage sale..”. sullyoon giggled and kissed your lips once again.

“your not for sale..”

woah-oh-oh

pal su eomne

sal su eomne, yeah, yeah, ooh

[lividria]

Funny Story: The Thousand-Year Door (Part 2)

Yea, remember the time I made a post about how everyone associates me with this game's Vivian because that's also my name, I'm also trans and my OC persona character looks similar? I have now beaten TTYD and I already wasn't opposed because I liked the character but I used Vivian for literally as much time as possible once I got her so uh

Here's some of the highlights of my playthrough, spoilers obviously

In the chapter 8 Shadow Sirens rematch (I know they're the Three Shadows now but I'm used to the old name, fight me), I had Goombella out to get tattles, tried to switch over to Vivian, and the FUCKING GAME CRASHED? Which I interpreted as Beldam getting so pissed it broke the space-time continuum, thankfully I saved right before and Vivian later dealt the final blow to Beldam to win the fight when I tried again

Shadow Queen kicked my FUCKING ASS HOLY SHIT, it took me 3 tries, I feel like if I were to rematch Prince Mush they would be so much easier than SQ it wouldn't even be funny AND THEY'RE A SUPERBOSS, I WIPED THE FLOOR WITH JUST ABOUT EVERY PRE-CHAPTER 8 BOSS BUT THEN THE FINAL BOSS WRECKED MY ASS LIKE SHE WAS TACO BELL

One of my friends hyped up Bonetail as being even harder when I immediately went to do the Pit after the credits, I JUST beat them without using any items (Though I did eat a couple in the earlier levels of the Pit) and it was so much less intense than what I expected, especially because I got really lucky with bingos and Pretty Lucky (badge) so I was never in any danger

Yes I know about Whacka, yes I know what I have to do to fight them, yes I'm gonna try them, but that's for tomorrow

I was actually trying to get 100% tattles this playthrough but only realized far too late I didn't get the tattles for the scripted Shwwonk Fortress encounters (Not the Golden Fuzzy, though, I got them & their Fuzzy horde) and I don't know if those guys respawn or are anywhere else so uh fucking whoops

I laughed my ass off when the Atomic Boo had it's own battle theme, that was the most unnecessary thing ever

Chapter 3 made me absolutely lose my shit because all I did was do all the Trouble Center side quests before that and I was somehow hilariously overpowered (I actually got a Power Plus from was their name Dazzle or Sparkle? So that's probably why) I destroyed everything and everyone, I knew about the poisoned cake but I didn't know leaving it killed that poor Koopa, I was completely floored by Bowser not having his boss theme (It's used in the Chapter 8 fight don't worry), and laughed for like a half hour straight at Grubba actually just dying at the end of the chapter after confessing to murder, can you actually find him anywhere after that because I never saw him ever again and Jolene said he was out of the picture so I choose to interpret that as Mario just straight up killing the guy

I fucking hate Rawk Hawk, I rematched him a couple times, all of them unintentionally besides for one time I was like 2 points off a level up, he goes down so fast it's so cathartic, I got an e-mail at some point from him that looked like he was saying he's a better fighter now, I'm gonna go beat his ass right now to prove he ain't

I somehow got Vivian into that bucket in the hidden part of Rogueport Harbor, she teleported out before I could screenshot it, I open Tumblr and first thing I see is that one post that's art of bucket Vivian, reality is taunting me I swear

For the several years on Discord I've always made it a thing to exaggerate some personality traits whenever it'd lead to funny jokes, so I have this entire gag persona I'll put on sometimes where I'll act like a narcissistic asshole out of nowhere (which is pretty easy because I'm incredibly easy to anger and thus act like a jerk more than I should), and it's some of the same people I do that with that compare me to TTYD Vivian sometimes, so imagine my reaction when I see the dialogue implying Vivian has a crush on Mario when I always switch out the player character with myself in my head, Vivian has a crush on essentially herself

I never used Zess T. once throughout my entire playthrough so imagine my horror when I check the requirements for 100%ing the game and seeing the recipes are there in the Journal menu, yea fuck no lol, I don't even know if I'll get all the Star Pieces & Shine Sprites but I am definitely not catching up

So uh yeah really good game

[damn-stark]

Before dawn

Takes place in-between chapter 1 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

Requested by @sunnybunnyy2 “please please please if you haven't already can you please write about the fight Joel and reader had and why he left her? And or; more about tommy, Maria and readers relationship before she left? It's my favourite the last of us fanfic and I need to know what happened. I am living for all of your stories<3”

A/N- SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG, I JUST NEEDED TO GET IN THE MINDSET FOR THIS SERIES AGAIN, AND I ALSO HAD OTHER FICS THAT NEEDED TO BE WRITTEN, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT THOUGH :)

Warning- ANGST, fluff, talks of death and suicidal thoughts, swearing, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

How long has it been now? 18 years since the outbreak happened? Since…Sarah died? Time just blends together now since it’s been so long. What you are sure of though is that it all feels like a lifetime ago.

What you’d give to go back, to see your sister again, to be with your dad and be a family. That’s your birthday wish this year, for the big 22, to go back in time. Or at least to have five more minutes there, in that bubble that was your life before the outbreak destroyed it.

Then again…why should you wish for such a thing? You haven’t even seen your dad in…8 years?

Yeah, it’s been 8 years now since you’ve seen him, since you’ve spoken to him. You’ve heard about him through your uncle Tommy since they keep in touch over some radio. Which isn’t the same thing, you know, but that’s the best either of you have done.

Sarah would be disappointed. But it’s not like you’re at fault for it! He left! He left you. You just—

“What are you doing?” A voice breaks you from your train of thought.

“Hm?” You hum and drift your gaze to the side, spotting Maria looking at you in confusion.

You look down at the dishes you’re washing and then look at her. “Washin’ dishes?”

Maria’s eyebrows furrow slightly before she just begins to shoo you away. “Come on, move over. Today is the only day you’re excused from your chores, remember?”

Oh right, birthday pass. There’s too much running in your mind to remember.

“You okay?” She asks as you step aside to let her take over.

She knows you well, she’s known how to read you since the moment you met. It’s touching, but kinda weird too.

She’s too observant.

“Yeah,” you lie. “Yeah.” You nod.

Maria’s eyes narrow on you, they dig in you. You can feel the burning sensation, so you just avert your gaze and turn to lean back against the kitchen counter.

“Grease,” you blurt. “I want to watch Grease tonight.”

Maria keeps studying you, but she doesn’t choose to press you, she looks at the dishes and nods slowly. “Okay. And hey, I still have some of that nail polish. We can do each other's nails while we watch the movie.”

You smile at the ground and nod eagerly. “Yeah, that sounds fun. I’ll go get it and start the movie.” You push yourself away and hurry on to do what you said while you think. You try not to, you really try not to think, but it’s impossible now, it’s hard not to think about memories on your birthday.

Sarah used to paint your nails, you tried to paint hers but she always got annoyed that you painted around her nails, so instead your dad let you paint his toenails. Not his fingernails because you didn’t want his friends at work to laugh at him, you were considerate that way.

Your birthdays used to be your favorite, even after the outbreak. It was never big, especially not after, but they tried and you loved it every time. After your fourteenth birthday though, your birthdays were a reminder of what you couldn't have, of what you lost. You’ve tried, there’s been some happy birthdays since you got to Jackson, but this year has been especially hard.

There’s moments where you just wish this was your last.

“…so I told her just to get out of my face,” Maria’s story intrigues you.

You smile softly up at her. “Just like I said?” You tease.

Maria looks up from your nail and nods. “Yeah. Just like you told me.”

You giggle and sit back, you try to just bask in the joy she feels, in the joy you see on your uncle Tommy’s face.

“Sunny, come take my shoes off,” your uncle Tommy says as he puts his boots up on the coffee table.

You scrunch your nose in disgust and scoff. “As if. Do it yourself, chump.”

Your uncle chuckles. “Maria, Sunny here was the nicest girl. The times I’d go visit after work she’d coming runnin’ to greet us. She’d take our shoes off and bring me my beer.”

Maria laughs, and you snort. “Austin can bring you your beer,” you talk about your dog. “Atlas and I trained him to do it.” You smirk proudly.

Your uncle shrugs. “Yeah, well it ain’t the same.”

You roll your eyes and sit back with your right hand still in Maria’s grasp. “Well, you’re gonna have to get a maid then. ‘Cause Maria ain’t doing it either.”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Because he takes my shoes off.”

You giggle and peer back. “Whipped.” You make the sound effect, and your uncle quickly grabs the pillow off the couch and hurls it at your head.

When it hits you though, it makes you move so Maria gets annoyed. “I just messed up. Thanks a lot.”

“Sorry,” you whisper even if you weren’t at fault.

You then proceed to drift your eyes to the tv to watch the movie that was playing, but neither of you were actually paying attention to due to the small conversations you’re holding.

Well they’re doing most of the talking, you're just listening. And unknowingly showing the emotions you’ve been trying to hide from the both of them.

“Are you okay?” Maria asks.

You blink and slowly meet her gaze. “Hm?” You probe with feigned confusion.

Maria briefly meets your gaze before grabbing your other hand to paint your other hand. “I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet, and you’ve been looking down.”

Shit. Shit.

Your uncle Tommy is waiting for an answer now too. You can feel his stare.

“I…”

It’s not like you can just burst out with everything you’ve been feeling recently—No, everything that’s been building up for the past couple of years. One, you don’t want to ruin today, and two, you hardly know what it is you’re feeling. It’s all so confusing, so unlike you. Angry? Sad? Lost?

“I’m okay,” you assure her and offer her a soft smile so she won’t poke further. “Just, you know, birthday blues over the fact I’m getting a year older. I wish I could look young forever.”

“Such a travesty,” your uncle teases.

“Blah,” you stick your tongue out.

“Hm,” Maria hums unsurely, but just leaves you be again. “Okay.”

You muster a wider smile to show it to her, to assure her even if you do wish for some sort of comfort, for someone to tell you that you’re actually fine. That nothings wrong with you. But you can’t worry them today, so you just watch the movie, and when Maria finishes painting your nails you move on to hers.

Once your nails are painted all nice and look all manicured, you finally pay attention to the movie along with your little family. Maria lays against your uncle, and you lay your head on Maria’s lap and let her caress the side of your head.

It’s a simple moment. Something that maybe you should grow out of, but you can’t help it, you like your little family; Maria, your uncle Tommy, and you. You’re content with them, you like being coddled by them even at 22. It lets you feel safe, something you failed to feel sometimes in your life due to your circumstances.

So…what is it that’s bugging you? That has you so…raveled?

Maybe going to your meadow and laying under the stars will help? Bring some ease to your aching heart?

Thus when the movie is over, after the clock strikes 12 am and brings a new day and ends your birthday, you return home. Rather than walking inside through the front door, you instead walk past the gate and head straight to your meadow in your backyard.

It’s been raining for the best couple of days, and you’ve also been busy so you haven’t had time to come and just find joy in your precious meadow you made for Sarah. Not until tonight.

Yet when you step past the porch fence, when you take a step in the meadow, there’s no flowers decorating the green pasture. Not even the winter wildflowers live, the meadow is dull…For the first time since you began to grow this meadow, it’s empty.

The stars…

You look up, but the sky is clouded, no stars gleam in the sky. The only source of light comes from the porch light. But the sky is dark and grey, dull like the once vivid meadow. And so the relief you came in search for, the joy you ached to find here is nothing but a dream, the very memory of your sister that rested on those very flowers is gone, like her.

There’s nothing here. There’s nothing here for you. Yes, you do find happiness in the little things, in your family that lives here, your friends, your plays you produce and star in, the other people that live here, this town in general, but what do you have to live for?

There’s nothing here. It’s dark, the only light is dim and it’s you, everything else is basked in darkness. You search for more source of light, something to bask the gap in your heart that was once full and complete because of your dad, but when he left, everyday, little by little that gap slowly lost its light. Now you’re alone, dimming away.

So maybe it’s time to go. You’ve been thinking about it, planning it now for a while—it will be a country wide trip. You’ve commented about it to other people and they want to go too.

Will you come back though?

It’s okay if you find your end somewhere out there.

——

*8 YEARS BACK. OUTSIDE BOSTON.*

“Oh!” You exclaim happily, and don’t fret to leave your source of light behind on debris to carefully fit through a gap left between slabs of cement debris.

“Hey! Y/N, what the hell are you doin?” Your uncle Tommy shouts after you.

“I found somethin’ inside, shine your light!” You yell back without bothering to further explain yourself, plus, it’s a closed off room with the only way in and out through the gap you just climbed through. There’s no infected so nothing to worry about.

Your dad will still be pissed though. If he finds out…

Which he will! Your uncle Tommy is a snitch!

“Did you check your surroundings at least,” your uncle has no choice but to just say now.

“Yep,” you groan.

After a few more seconds of hearing little rocks roll down the slabs of cement, after squeezing yourself through a small gap only you fit through, you finally make it out and land in the little break room that was once part of some kind of store.

“I made it,” you comment through the gap.

Finally your uncle does what you had asked and shines his flashlight through the gap, managing to blind you in that instant.

“Just hurry on up,” he counters back, annoyed. “We’re gonna be leavin’ soon.”

You hum in agreement and turn around to face the little corner that was left open.

There isn’t much to search through, but you still start at the top right cabinet.

Albeit there’s nothing. Next; open box of expired crackers, mugs, and more open bags of expired dry food. Great.

Next—haha! Jackpot! Instant coffee!

“Look!” You shout and spin around to show off your sweet find. “It’s coffee!”

“Oh? Really? Closed?” Your uncle asks.

You drop your gaze and double check that it’s still sealed. That there’s no mold or icky stuff.

“Yes! It’s safe!” You squeal, and then slide a backpack strap off your shoulder to stuff the coffee container in your pack. “My dad will love it! Maybe we still have time to boil some.” You throw out happily.

This time your uncle hesitates to answer, so you look up and question his silence. “You hear me?”

You can’t see his face because the light blocks his face, but he hesitates again before simply humming in agreement.

Weird, but you don’t question it. You just continue to search, and end up finding sealed granola bars, and some useful utensils other people glossed over. It’s too bad you can’t search the rest of the store since it’s all crumbled. There probably would’ve been some cool things.

At least you found coffee though.

Which is why you leave the little corner break room and climb back out. Once you’re near the exit your uncle Tommy helps you back up to stable ground.

“Found some granola,” you let him know and hand him one bar. “See, it was worth it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “Come on. We’ve been gone longer than we should have already.”

Hopefully your dad won’t be upset, you woke up earlier than he did because your uncle invited you to patrol with him, which he hardly ever does, so your dad didn’t see you leave.

He tends to get mad over little things like this, but you don’t mind much, he just gets worried. Plus today you have coffee for him. It’s his favorite.

“Sunny,” your uncle interjects after staying quiet the entire way back to your camp. “Can I tell you something before we get to camp?”

You brush him off due to your excitement to get the coffee to your dad. “Tell me later, I want to give my dad what I found.” And since camp is right ahead, and your surroundings are clear, you make a run for it back to camp.

The few people that are traveling with you from the Boston Quarantine zone bid you a goodmorning, and you happily greet them back with a gleeful smile, whilst you also search for your dad amongst them.

However, he’s not amongst the crowd. Maybe he’s still resting. So you don’t lose a pep in your step and head to where you last saw him resting.

Nevertheless, when you get to where he had been sleeping, he’s not there, nor is his sleeping bag, or his stuff. Weird…

Maybe he’s just walking around.

Now you slow down and start your careful search.

“Y/N,” your uncle calls out from some paces behind you. “Let’s talk babygirl.”

Where is this man?

You reach the end of the perimeter of your camp and he’s still no where around. He wasn’t with the others, or waiting for you anywhere. So where did he go?

“Uncle Tommy,” you finally address the man as you turn to face him with growing concern. “Where’s my dad?”

Your uncle Tommy finally catches up to you, and quickly averts his gaze while he lets out a deep breath that begins to worry you.

“Uncle Tommy?” You probe and slowly feel your joy fade away and get completely overtaken by concern.

“Y/N,” he mumbles and grabs your shoulder. “Your dad…he’s not coming with us.”

What?

“What do you mean?” You giggle nervously. “He was with us this morning. He left Boston with us. Is this a prank?” You scoff. “Because it’s not funny.”

Your uncle doesn’t break into a laugh, he doesn’t smile, his frown deepens and his eyes express…sadness.

“Your dad is going to stay in Boston,” your uncle adds. “He just wanted to accompany us outside of Boston. But he’s not comin’ along anymore.”

He’s still joking. He—your dad couldn’t have just left you. His daughter. His youngest daughter. His daughter that still needs him. He didn’t leave.

“Stop,” you push your uncle away. “It’s not funny. Where is he?”

Your uncle sighs. “Sunny I’m being serious, your dad left. He’s not comin’...I’m sorry.”

But why?

Your eyes fill with tears and something tight wraps around your heart.

“Then we have to go back,” you begin to insist as you’re now in denial. “We have to go back to him. We can’t just leave him.” You turn to try and head back, but your uncle quickly manages to grab you and pulls you back.

“No, we’re not goin’ nowhere, he wants us to keep goin’. Together.”

You shake your head. “No. I can’t leave without him. Uncle Tommy, he’s my dad. We can’t,” you begin to stammer, feeling your throat begin to burn. “We have to go back. Please.” You keep trying to head back to Boston, but your uncle gets ahold of both of your shoulders and makes you face him.

“I’m sorry, but no. He left. He doesn’t want to come okay? But we’ll see him again. We’ll find a nice town, not one like this Quarantine Zone. You’ll make friends and you’ll learn to fight with the Fireflies in the meanwhile. Okay? And when—”

“Why?” You cut him off with tears streaming down your cheeks. “Why isn’t my daddy comin’?” You felt like a child again. A child exposed to danger, left in the dark. “Why did he leave me? Did I make him mad? Did I do somethin’?”

Your uncle quickly shakes his head. “No, no. Baby, no. He’s just…your dad just wants to stay. I’m sorry I can’t give a better excuse, a different reason, but he wants us to do better. He wants you to do better. Don’t you still want that?”

It’s been your dream, but…

“He doesn’t love me?” You whisper in a shaky voice.

Your uncle nods. “He loves you. I think he’s just strugglin’, it happens you know? I think everything that’s happened affected him differently, and he’s just grown scared to mess up with you. He’s afraid of losing you, I think that’s why he left. But he will never stop loving you. He just needs time, okay?”

You still don’t understand why he left you. But you also don’t really want to go back. Especially not now.

“Okay,” you mutter sadly.

Your uncle wipes away your tears and offers you an assuring smile. “It’s just you and me now, Sunny,” he says.

You feel assured by his words, by the fact that he stayed with you, but now without your dad it feels like something went off inside you.

——

*NOW. JACKSON.*

“I think I can pull it off. I’ve been reading some welding books. I mean I was in construction. How hard can welding a ring be?”

Your uncle Tommy has been going on about fixing Maria’s wedding band that didn’t fit her. You’ve been partially listening throughout your patrol, but your mind drifts to different thoughts about how you’re going to tell him you want to leave. How you’re going to explain it so he won’t get super upset.

“Is it hard?”

You blink and look over at him. His eyes were already on you though, so he catches the fact that you weren’t paying attention. “You okay?” He asks again. This is his second time today. Just like Maria, he suspects something’s wrong.

But you aren’t ready yet. “Yeah,” you lie, and drop your head to brush your fingers through your horse's hair. “I’m fine.”

Your uncle's gaze lingers on you, you feel him study you for a moment. Will he believe you?

“You know,” he interjects. “I’ve been in your life since you were a baby…”

Fuck, you should’ve known better.

“…I raised you for 8 years,” he continues. “It was just the two of us for a lot of those years, so you think I don’t know you, but I do. I know what every little expression means, I know when you’re sad, when you’re angry, especially when you’re excited and happy. I don’t want to drag it out of you, but you’re starting to worry me, Sunny. So tell me, please.”

Fuck. Fuck.

Your eyes are watering, you didn’t want to cry, but every word he said just now triggered those tears you hold back to fill your eyes.

“Well…” you start off slowly and keep your eyes averted. “I…” fuck. “I’ve decided that I’m going to leave.” You slowly drift your eyes to him and notice that he looks confused.

“Leave what?” He asks. “Your house? I thought you liked livin’ there?”

You nod slowly. “Yeah, I do. But it’s not that. I...” You pause and blink repeatedly as your courage falters. “I’m goin’ to leave Jackson.”

At the sound of your words your uncle brings his horse to a stop, so you follow suit to stay close. He then looks at you for a moment in disbelief before he chuckles dryly, and looks away at the woods that surround you. You don’t add anything, you let him wallow in what you just said and wait.

When he finally finds his emotions, his words, he faces you and shakes his head. “No,” he blurts. “You’re not leavin’ anywhere.”

“Uncle Tommy you can’t make me stay,” you argue. “I’m twenty-two. I’m an adult now, not a little girl or a teenager. I’m grown—”

“You’re not actin’ like it,” he cuts you off frustrated. “I mean it’s stupid. It’s crazy. You have a life here, you’re safe, here. There’s nothing out there but death.”

You shrug and keep holding in your tears. “Yeah, I know that…but I want to take the risk. I need to find who I am. I…don’t know who I am anymore,” you say in a shaky voice. “I’m lost. There’s an emptiness that keeps growing, that keeps pushing away the light that's over me. And I’m afraid if I stay here the darkness is going to swallow me.”

Your uncle scoffs and looks away as he shakes his head. “So what? You think you’re goin’ to find this light by what? Getting eaten by infected?” He spats. “Are you listening to yourself? We don’t live in the other life anymore, y/n, you can’t just grab a backpack and travel the world! The world is dangerous—”

“I know that!” You cut him with frustration that he’s not understanding. “I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” You sit back and exhale deeply, feeling the tears that you tried to hold back finally roll down your cheeks. “But I’m tired, I…I’m tired. I want to travel the country, prove to myself that I can make it by myself. I need to find myself, and that’s not here.” You shake your head. “I’m sorry, but you won’t change my mind. Nor will Maria.”

Your uncle holds your gaze with a hardened pointed glare, and nods along slowly in comprehension. He stays quiet and adds tension to the silence. He drops his head and draws in a deep breath before looking up at you and exhaling.

“Fine,” he deadpans. “Leave,” he spats angirly, and surprises you. “I won’t stop you. You want to die out there, be my guest…”

“Uncle Tommy,” you whimper.

“No, don’t. Your dad left and that hurt. I stayed strong for you, but I was hurt. He was my brother and he left. He chose to break us apart in this desolate world,” he says with cracks in his own voice caused by overwhelming anger. “You made my life good, lookin’ out for you kept me from losin’ myself. But I still live with this gap in my heart because I don’t know if it was Joel’s last day and I didn’t know. So if you go too I won’t let that consume me. I can’t.” He shakes his head. “You want to go? Go. I won’t chase you and I won’t worry.”

And just like that his words cut deep in your already bleeding heart. This isn’t what you wanted, you didn’t expect him to give you his back, not him. He’s the only family you have left since your dad left you. He’s everything to you and so much more, you don’t want him to forsake you.

“Uncle Tommy,” you plead.

“No,” he interjects quickly. “No. Just,” he sputters and nudges his horse's reins. “Don’t. I'm done.” And just like that he rides ahead without waiting for you. He leaves you behind with tears streaming down the curve of your cheeks. He leaves you aching.

But he doesn’t change your mind from what you plan to do. Nothings going to change your mind anymore. You just wanted his blessing, or a comfort. But you got neither.

How will Maria react? He’s probably going to tell her as soon as he gets back home, will she forsake you too?

If she does you’ll truly have nothing. Perhaps then that dimming light will snuff out completely, leaving you with nothing but a vast emptiness.

——

*LATER*

After your uncle Tommy ran out on you, you took the long way back home just to get your thoughts straight. To think of what you need to tell Maria.

She’ll be worse than your uncle perhaps.

Nevertheless, you do hope to run into your uncle to talk, to not leave things tense, but the further you walk inside your gated community, the more hope you lose about seeing him. Other people greet you when they see you, some of his friends wave at you, but you don’t see him amongst them.

You hoped to see Maria too, but she’s also not around—Then again that’s a good thing, you still need time before you talk to her.

One person you do run into though is Apollo, your best friend and housemate. He spots you first and runs at you. When he’s beside you he throws his arm around your neck and pulls you towards him.

“What’s up sunshine!”

You roll your eyes to him and shoot him a teasing look. “Sunshine? If your girlfriend hears she’ll probably beat you.”

Apollo scoffs and shrugs. “Now, now, stop all that yapping, okay? It’s not fair just because you don’t like her.”

You scoff in disgust. “Yeah. I don’t. I can read people you know. She gives me a bad feeling.”

Apollo rolls his eyes and lets you go. You quickly glance at him and see his discontent.

“I'm sorry,” you quickly correct yourself. “I'll try to stop. I'm just…looking out for you,” you explain as you nudge him. “Which is not an excuse, but…” you sigh. “We’ve known each other basically a life time now. It’s my job.”

Apollo meets your gaze and sighs but nods slowly. “I know. What has it been now? Fuck,” he laughs softly. “Seven years?”

You nod. “A lifetime.” You look away from him to look your path ahead.

“Which is why…I know somethings up with you,” Apollo mentions and gently nudges you. “What’s wrong?”

You exhale deeply and drop your gaze. “I told my uncle Tommy about my plans. He…got mad at me, he…turned his back on me,” you reveal in a shaking voice. “I mean i knew—I expected him to get upset, but this? He’s all I got.” You stop walking and sniffle.

Apollo knew about your plans, he knew about them when they were just running thoughts. He of course doesn’t approve of it, but he’s been more lenient.

“You have to just give him a moment to think,” Apollo says as he stops in front of you. “You’re all he has too you know?”

“He has Maria,” you add right away. “His wife.”

“In that case you have Maria too,” Apollo argues.

You slowly look up at him with a watery gaze and shake your head softly. “But does that matter? I view her as a maternal figure, but I’ll never be her child. I’ll never be their child. They’ll have a kid sooner or later and I’ll be forgotten while they stay a family. Which is the reason I shouldn’t be uspet about my uncle really, it’ll hurt less when he eventually leaves me behind like…” you trail off and drop your head to wipe away your tears.

“You’re crazy,” Apollo interjects. “You’re crazy to think that your uncle Tommy and Maria would do that.”

You shake your head in disapproval because your dad left you. The one person you thought would stay in your life forever left you without a second thought. Like if you were a piece of trash.

“You mean the world to them, the both of them,”

He continues. “It’s why your uncle fought against your plans, why he got upset.

Because he can’t fathom the thought of losing you, his niece, a girl he raised through this hell, his daughter.”

You meet Apollo's gaze and let out a soft cry.

“He’s not forsaking you,” Apollo continues softer. “He’s fighting for you. In his own way. You mean something to him. To her. To me. To Mia, Atlas, to everyone that sees the plays you put on with all your love for something you’re keeping alive…isn’t that enough to let you stay?”

You hold his gaze and shake your head.

Apollo nods slowly in comprehension. “Then just give him time, okay?” Apollo asks of you. “He cares.” He offers you a tiny smile, and you wipe your tears off your face and just nod. You can’t actually say anything, you’re too emotional.

“Come here,” Apollo adds and carefully wraps his arms around you.

You let out a small, relieved laugh and hug him back. “Thank you,” you whisper.

Apollo rubs your back and responds softly. “I’m here for you.”

You stay in each other's embrace for a moment longer, basking in each other's warmth and presence. When you do pull away he keeps his arm around you, and you continue your way home.

“Now come on,” he says sweetly. “We can eat lunch and watch something while you come up with what you’re gonna tell Maria. Because…I’m scared for you.”

You chuckle. “I’m scared too. She might tie me up.”

Apollo gasps. “I got your next play!” He exclaims. “Rapunzel! And hey you can actually be locked away in some tower! Talk about bringing your character to life!”

You roll your eyes in annoyance, but you can’t help but laugh.

He had a way to do that, he finds ways to make you happy when you’re upset. And it worked for a while, he made lunch and you watched a movie, eventually your friend and other housemate Mia came home too, so she joined in and you felt happy. But when the moment was done, when you were alone in your room, the happiness left.

Thoughts overwhelm your mind, different variations of thoughts. Music though…it helps and keeps things quiet.

Albeit there is one person who surfaces to mind. He exists only in your memory, just like Sarah. It’s been 8 fucking years since you’ve seen him. Since he left. And even after all of it, all the ugly side that came out of him, you still want to see him again. Maybe one more time to hug him, have him hold you and remind you of the much simpler things, of home.

You can’t return home, but one warm embrace, his scent will make it feel like you’re home again—

Nevertheless, as you’re lost in thought, suddenly the music from your headphones stops playing. “Hey,” you complain and sit up. That’s when you see Maria with the cord in her hand.

Fuck.

You pull the headphones down to your neck and scoot to the edge of your bed with your gaze averted since she looks upset. “Hey,” you greet softly.

“You missed dinner,” she breaks her silence and throws the cord on the bed.

There’s no time for small talk, you can’t sit here and just pretend she doesn’t know. “Uncle Tommy told you,” you state.

Maria exhales deeply and sits besides you on the bed before she nods. “He told me this crazy ass story that you want to leave.”

You blink repeatedly and sniffle. “He’s mad,” you state again.

“Yeah,” she scoffs. “He’s pissed…” she trails off and lets out a deep sigh before she shifts around to face you. “I wouldn't be a good guardian, protector…mother, if I didn’t try to convince you to stay.”

You slowly drag your eyes up and meet her dark brown eyes with sadness.

“It’s a stupid idea,” she continues with anger in her own voice, in her own expression. “You have a life here. A life you’re building. Things are never going to be easy, life isn’t that simple. But that’s life. Even now.”

You shake your head. “I don’t expect life to be easy,” you argue. “I don’t want to leave because life is hard. I…” you pause and drop your head. “You can’t convince me to stay Maria. I’m not a little girl anymore to be protected, I have to experience on my own if my choices are bad, he can’t decide that anymore.” You shake your head. “I want…” you come to another pause and shake your head.

“I don’t know when I’m going to die,” you continue, “it might be tomorrow, next week or years from now, but it will happen though, and I don’t just want to know these walls. I need to live for myself, not be protected all the time…I want to see the ugly and the beautiful, know it before I die.” You lift your head and meet her gaze with tears running down your cheeks.

“You didn’t let me finish,” she says softly. “I won’t fight you to stay, but you tell me, give me a great reason why I should let you leave. Why you want to leave and I’ll see you off. I’ll accept your existential crisis, I’ll worry but wish you the best.”

You look at her with confusion and probe. “You’re not mad?”

“I’m furious,” she states seriously. “But I want to listen to you. I know somethings wrong, just talk to me.”

It wasn’t your birthday anymore to avoid ruining your day for them, but you also don’t want to burden her with your trauma.

Maria notices your reluctance though and presses you. “Come on please.”

You shrug and wipe away your tears, but still can’t utter a word.

“It better not be because of him,” Maria interjects without naming your father.

You sigh and finally answer her. “I tried, you know. I was scared of everything, but I tried to fight away the fear so he could stop gettin’ mad at me. Because that’s all he was, mad all the time.”

“You were just a kid,” Maria argues.

You nod softly. “Yes, but I had to grow up to survive. So he could look at me with a proud smile and tell me I’m doin’ good,” you continue shakily. “But…no matter what I did it angered him because I could never be her. He loved her deeply, after she died a part of him died too. Maybe that’s one of the reasons he left…” you pause and fight your tears back. “…I was never enough for him. And after he left I was angry, I pretended he was dead…it was easier that way. But I’m still here, and it’s back, that feeling like I’m not worth something, like I’m a failure.”

Tears roll down your cheeks after the fight you tried to maintain didn’t last whatsoever. Maria notices right away and takes your hand in hers.

“That’s not true,” she argues against your comment.

You avert your gaze and sniffle. “But it is, I was never enough for him to stay with me. I’m not enough…I’m a failure.”

“You’re only 22 years old,” she adds. “You’re still young. You still have a lot to accomplish, so much life to live.”

You slowly meet her gaze and counter. “That doesn’t matter or take away from what I feel. That’s why I need to leave. So I can find me, by myself, and not get coddled. I can’t numb away my pain anymore or else I’ll get swallowed by the void that’s already surrounding me.”

Maria holds your gaze and nods along slowly in comprehension. Neither of you say anything for a while, you let her think. And after a while she finally responds by pulling you in an embrace.

“I hate that you feel that way,” she says as you hug her back carefully, almost out of fear she’s going to take it back and just scold you. “I can contradict you in so many ways, but your mind is set. You’re an adult…we can’t force you to stay. Just promise you’ll fight to stay alive. That you’ll come back.”

You nod. “Yes,” you assure her with a wobbly smile. “I swear I’ll fight.” You then pull back and face her. “What about my uncle Tommy?” You slide your hands to your lap and clench them to fists to dig your nails in your palm. “I don’t want to leave with him mad at me.”

Maria scoffs. “Just talk to him. I have. He’s home.”

Your uncle and you don’t argue much, not even when you were younger and your emotions were all over the place, so when you do it was like a tragedy to you, after your anger passed of course. You hate having the sun set on your anger, if you could you resolve your issues that same day. Of course sometimes it takes time, but this time, even if you aren’t leaving at this very moment, you can’t have his back turned on you.

You just hope he feels the same, hopefully he doesn’t want to have days to himself. The longest you’ve gone without talking to your uncle is probably like, two days. You won’t survive a whole week, or weeks!

However, when you do get to their house, since Maria left to let you have time alone, the atmosphere between your uncle and you is full of tension. It’s deafening. He keeps himself busy for a moment, but when he joins you in the living room the silence is awkward.

What can you tell him? You didn’t do anything wrong, and you said everything you needed to say…

Wait!

“I hope you know,” you break the silence softly. “Nothing will change my mind, but I still hope that you can accept and respect my choice. I need you to or else I won’t be at peace.” You look over at him and notice he keeps looking ahead.

Your uncle then proceeds to let out a deep breath, he drops his head and looks at his cup of alcohol solemnly.

“I promised Maria that I’d fight to come back,” you add. “To tell you the truth I was fine not coming back, but…you mean everything to me, I can’t do that to you. Or Maria. So I will fight, I will come back. I promise.”

Your uncle blinks repeatedly and slowly lifts his head and faces you. “You swear it?” He says.

You nod. “I swear,” you assure him.

Your uncle sighs but he then nods softly. You let out a relieved sigh and can’t help it, you throw your arms around him and hug him tightly.

“I love you, you know?” You tell him.

He nods and hugs you back. “I know,” he says. “I love you too. That’s why I got angry. But you didn’t deserve how it came out. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay. I understand.” You hug him tighter and just relish in the comfort he brings you. You stay in each others embrace for a moment, and this time when you’re apart the silence isn’t full of fucking tension, it’s comfortable.

But after a while he breaks it slowly and in a shaky voice. “The dark days are gone…And the bright days are here,” he continues in a soft sing-song voice. “My Sunny one shines so sincere…”

Oh. Oh! It’s a song, Sunny, by Boney M. He loves to play this song when you’re around, he also loved to play it when he would come to your house before. It’s your song.

“Sunny,” you join in very softly, and with tears rolling down your cheeks and a smile on your face.

“One so true, I love you…” you both trail off and begin to laugh. You then look at one another and chuckle harder.

“I hope you find everything you’re looking for,” he says.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I hope so too.” You then let your head fall on his shoulder, and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulders and press a kiss on the top of your head.

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion

[rorywritesjunk]

Down in the dark where the waves won’t go, I’m bound to find my way.

Sunny and Buggy disagree over the next steps of their life together leading to them spending time apart.

Rating: PG-13 to be safe for swearing and arguing. Warning: Each chapter will have a specific warning. They are not okay. They fight, mentions of previous arguments. I couldn't not be mean a little bit more. Buggy starts to question what he really wants. Sunny is feeling kind of done with her husband. Family reunion time! Sunny has a huge family. Word Count: 2,401 A/N: The direct sequel to "No locked upon land...", the fic that started it all. I do not use "You" in this as now that Sunny is an established OC I decided not to go that route. There are only two more chapters after this. I didn't mean to leave this hanging as I wanted to make sure I did the ending to how I wanted it.

Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Epilogue Taglist: @hey-august @lostfirefly @ane5e

Chapter 9

A month passed. 

Sunny tried to keep a smile on her face even though her heart ached. She didn’t bring the subject of kids up again to Buggy, knowing it would just lead to fights and tears. Since they reunited they already had two arguments about it, mostly Buggy testing the waters to see if she was still thinking of kids only for him to shoot the idea down when she’d ask if he changed his mind. 

It hurt. It hurt a lot and whenever she thought of it, she thought of herself leaving the ship, finding someone else or maybe even taking in a child to raise. It wasn’t unheard of for spouses to have differences over life decisions like this, but he was being so difficult about it. It made it hard to even be around him sometimes.

The family reunion was happening again, as it did around the same time every year as long as Sunny could remember. She didn’t want to go to it. She didn’t want to see her family while they asked if she was expecting yet or if they would ever have kids. Her aunt would no doubt turn her nose up at Buggy and say Sunny should have chosen a better husband, that it was no wonder they didn’t have kids with a man like Buggy in her life. No doubt her cousins would have their kids along, and there would be a few new babies to introduce to the family. 

She didn’t want to be around it. 

Buggy, however, seemed to think they should go, which was surprising because he was always so uncomfortable at the reunions even though the little kids adored him. They thought Buggy was so cool because he could do tricks with his body that no one else could do. And honestly, Sunny was glad the rest of the family liked Buggy. She knew he wasn’t always the easiest to be around at times, but he was at least nice to the kids. 

She didn’t even want to think of him being around them because it would just make it harder.

“We should go.” He suggested.

“I don’t want to.” Sunny replied dully.

“What?! You love seeing your family!” Buggy exclaimed with a frown.

They sat at the table having this discussion. Sunny had made them dinner, not the tastiest thing she’d made but Buggy knew better than to complain. He could see how much his wife was hurting and he had hoped seeing her family would cheer her up, and he remembered that the big family reunion would be happening and they could get there in time for it.

“I don’t want to.” She repeated as she poked at her food. “Please drop it.”

Buggy frowned. He didn’t understand why she was against this. “Don’t you want to see your parents and all the little cousins?”

She poked at her food again, considering her next words before she set her fork down. “I don’t want to see any of them because I know it’s something you and I will never have, Buggy. Why would I want to do that?”

He stared at her in surprise. He didn’t… consider that. He thought maybe she’d feel better if she got to see the little cousins and hold some babies and everything. What did it matter if they weren’t going to do it themselves? At least she could spend time with kids she knew.

“Because you like kids! And… and I thought that would make you happy, okay?” 

Sunny stood up with her plate full of food. She didn’t feel hungry all of a sudden. Buggy reached for her plate before she could throw any of it out and she let him have it.

“I’m going to bed.”

“It’s still early.” He frowned.

Sunny shrugged and left the kitchen. Buggy set the plate down and ate, frowning as he tried to think of what to do to make his wife happy. He didn’t like seeing her this way.

~

It wasn’t so much that Buggy convinced Sunny to visit her family as he just… had the ship steered in that direction. It took a week to get to the island her family lived on, docking the ship near the little village they resided in. Sunny wouldn’t speak to him as she packed a bag for herself and left the ship as he strolled after her. Her parents were there to greet her, looking at their daughter with concern as they led her to the house.

The family was already there. Little ones rushed up to Buggy demanding magic tricks and other things while teenagers and young adults greeted Sunny. She put on an act, smiling brightly and laughing as she greeted them. While he was happy to see his wife smile again, it hurt knowing it wasn’t for him. It hadn’t been for a while.

Buggy thought maybe everything was going to be fine until he heard someone call Sunny over to meet the new babies. He froze, looking in his wife’s direction as she went still for a moment before relaxing and heading over. Buggy was realizing this was a cruel thing to do. Why did he suggest this? Why did he think this was a smart thing to do? He knew for certain she’d leave him after this. Their marriage would be over.

By the time Buggy crossed the yard and made it to his wife, she already had a baby in her arms, cooing at the ten month old boy as he reached for her hair, babbling and shrieking with happiness. Buggy froze when he got to Sunny, staring down at the baby as she held him, swaying her body and smiling. When the baby saw Buggy, he immediately reached outwards for his nose.

“This is Jade.” Sunny told him as the baby tried again to grab Buggy. “Do you want to hold him?”

“What? No, I don’t-”

Sunny didn’t even wait before passing the baby over to Buggy. He quickly adjusted his hold on the infant, not wanting to accidentally drop him or hurt him. Jade giggled, taking the opportunity to grab Buggy’s nose and hold onto it as the pirate captain stiffened up and stared at his wife in horror. She laughed at him, but it wasn’t malicious. She was entertained by him holding that baby, seeing him shift the little human in his arms after freeing his nose from the tiny grasp and trying to keep his head out of reach by popping it off. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but… it was kind of nice hearing the baby giggle and laugh with Sunny. At least little Jade seemed entertained by Buggy’s head popping while his arms held him away from his body. It had been a year since the last time he held a baby - the last family reunion. It… had been nice. He didn’t mind holding babies, honestly, often he always ended up with one or two in his arms whenever he showed up. Everyone just assumed he loved kids for some reason, had thought that ever since he first came with Sunny all those years ago.

He turned to his wife, hoping for an escape, but she already had her arms full with a newborn, smiling at the bundle as she rocked her. She chatted quietly with the mother, not looking at her husband, asking how the baby was doing, how they were doing, everything. Buggy paused in his escape attempts from Jade, bringing his body back together for that moment. Jade took the opportunity to once again grab Buggy’s nose, but he was too distracted by how damn happy his wife looked with that baby to care what the older baby was doing. 

Sunny just looked so beautiful and natural holding that baby that Buggy felt like an asshole for denying that to her. Maybe… maybe they needed to talk about it again. Maybe he should talk to her father about it, see what he said. Blue was always very kind to Buggy and would offer him any advice if he asked. 

Maybe it was okay to be nervous and scared but he wanted to see his wife happy and smile like that forever. He never wanted to break her heart again. Maybe they just needed to try.

~

Sunny thought something was wrong with Buggy as every chance he had, he was putting a baby or child in her arms or lap. The entire week went like this. She would be talking with her mom or another relative and Buggy would appear out of nowhere, handing over a baby or toddler before staring at her and disappearing. 

“Is he okay?” Windy finally asked after Buggy dropped off both the newborn and Jade into Sunny’s lap before hurrying off again.

“That's a very good question that I don't have an answer to.” Sunny replied as she made sure the little ones were comfortable. 

She managed to corner him after dinner while holding a kid in her arms. Buggy was being pulled away by the little kids, all demanding he entertain them with his Chop chop skills, but Sunny grabbed him first and pulled him around the corner of the house and out of sight of the others. She stared at her husband as she shifted the kid in her arms. Little Geo was confused why she didn't get to go be with her cousins just yet, but she trusted Sunny.

“Buggy, what's going on?” Sunny asked him as his eyes flitted between the kid and his wife. “You keep handing me kids every chance you get and it's weird. The family is starting to notice.”

“You like kids! I thought you'd want to hold them!” He insisted as Geo rested her head on Sunny's shoulder. 

“I don't mind it, but why are you doing it?” Sunny asked. “What's going on?”

Buggy didn't know how to answer this. How could he when he had been so adamant about not being a father that after seeing her this last week with the kiddos that he kind of wanted to see it more often. He wanted it all the time. He loved seeing how happy she looked whenever one was in her arms and he realized he wanted to see her happy all the time.

He looked between the kid and Sunny a few times before he started talking quickly, his words jumbling together, making it difficult for Sunny to understand him at first.

“Iwanttohavekids.” He rushed to say. “You'll be a great mom andIshouldntdenyyouthat.” He grabbed fistfuls of his hair as he stared at her with wide, fearful eyes. “I don't want you to leave me!”

Sunny took a moment to figure out what he was saying, and her shoulders dropped slightly and she sighed once she understood his words. Why was he doing this again to her? Why was he bringing it up since she knew it was just going to end in an argument and tears again? It wasn’t fair to either of them.

“I can’t do this right now, Buggy.” She told him as she turned to leave, her heart pounding as she tried to keep her voice from shaking. “We’re not doing this again, not when my family is around, okay?”

“I-I mean it, okay?! I want to!” Buggy insisted as he stomped his feet. “It’s what you want and-and I want it too!”

“Just stop.” She told him firmly. “Okay, Buggy? I mean it. Stop. It’s bad enough you brought me here for some stupid reason, and it’s bad enough you’ve already done this to me twice now, but you keep bringing me the little kids and babies, acting strange, and it’s getting to me! I need you to stop this now, Buggy, or-”

“Or what?” He asked. “Are you going to leave me? I don’t want you too!”

“I’m not going-” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to yell at him, especially not when she still had Geo in her arms and others could hear them. Instead, she exhaled, opened her eyes, and passed Geo over to her husband. He was startled for a moment but quickly held her close to him, looking at his wife in confusion as the little girl looked up at Buggy. He didn’t seem to be panicking or trying to hand her back to Sunny. He looked… calm for a moment. “See, that’s what I needed to see.”

“I don’t get it.” 

“Let’s talk about this again in a month.” She told him. “Because I don’t… want you having regrets if I get pregnant and you start to have doubts or second thoughts, okay? If you do, I will leave, Buggy. I’d rather do this on my own than have you regret having a child.”

“I’m not going to regret it with you!” He insisted as Geo reached for a lock of his hair. “I love you!”

“But will you love our child?” She asked. “Sleepless nights, feeding, changing, taking care of our baby, are you going to love them after you go a week with little sleep?”

“Yes! Because you’ll be there with me! And you’ll be a great mom and I love you and I think I’m ready!” He winced as Geo tugged on his hair. At least it wasn’t his nose. “Please?”

Sunny crossed her arms as she looked away. “I’m staying in the house tonight and I want you to go back to the ship. We’ll talk about this in a month.”

“Babe-”

She took Geo from him and walked away to rejoin everyone. The conversation was tiring. She wanted to cry but refused to do it in front of everyone. Why was he doing this to her? It was cruel. 

Buggy didn’t want to be away from her any longer. Not only did he have to spend days away from her when she disappeared, but in the last week she chose to stay in her old bedroom while having Buggy stay on the ship. He meant what he was saying to her and he didn’t know how to get her to believe him. He reached for her, putting his hand on her shoulder to try and stop her but she kept walking. Buggy stood there as his hand went with her before she brushed it off without looking in his direction.

[geralts-yenn]

2023 character wrapped

@deandoesthingstome knows too well I get a little obsessive over some characters - let's see if I can make it to nine (or if I can stop at nine 😁 a look onto my masterlist that's barely a year old tells me we will get there)

Here we go...

My no 1: No surprise here - Mikey

He's my precious silly boy and I will never stop loving him. As part of a family of lunatics here or here, as our best friend, or as the cute neighbor who steals the heart of Nina and Mel

2. Melot

I blame @raccoon-eyed-rebel for introducing me to the slutty lil' braid boy. Just look at that grumpy, miserable little guy. I can't help but thinking about how to make him feel better. That's why he gets the love from not only one but two lovely persons in my Hearts Too Big universe. He's still not quite happy as a vampire in Believe in Me, but I swear we'll get to it.

3. Syverson

Not much of a surprise - how could I not love him? He's the character I read the most this year, for sure. But I also loved to write him into my bonfire story and it's follow up. I was yearning for him and I imagined him as a daddy 🥰

4. Evan

Oh, he was a surprise for me. Even though I liked his character in the movie, I didn't intend to write for him. Until a lovely nonnie put him into my brain and started to fuel my obsession with him here, here and here.

5. Walter

The grumpy bear was always a favorite of me when it came to reading but I was a little scared to write him by myself. In the end, I'm quite happy with the outcome when I finally dared.

6. August Walker

Another one that I love but didn't dare to write. Until it was too tempting to add him as the vampire king in Believe in Me. And then those little pieces of smut here and here with the vampire king were surprisingly easy to write.

7. Napoleon Solo

I love the smooth spy. I had so much fun to pair him up with the lovely Amina and I totally plan to get back to Leon sometime in the future

8. Charles

I wish I had more time to explore his character. I love him so much - especially when he's put into a modern AU. I kinda did this to him as my sidekick for Melot. And I have a wip in my folders, sleeping for way too long, where he's the most annoying and yet adorable duke. I really hope I get to the point where I can introduce him to you.

That's everyone I have written for this year. But I surely don't stop here with obsessing

I won't count Geralt, Will and all the other characters of Henry Cavill because this post is already too long for anyone to read, lol.

But I surely have to count the man himself

9. Henry Cavill

Yes, I am obsessed with this man and I am not sorry! I guess I won't ever get back to the unfinished RPF that got me into writing at all but I will not stop loving the adorkable man that he is.

And then there are still some guys that don't look like Henry:

9. Dean Winchester

I had almost forgotten how much I loved him. Until I introduced the teenager to Supernatural and spent a lot of evenings this year watching that stupid little shit 😍

10. Billy Russo

One of my favorite roles for Ben. And so many good fics out there that I need to explore at some point.

11. Jack Reacher

Very recent addition to the hunks in my head. I love the new season and I'm definitely not immune to that man's visual charms.

I think I will stop here, even if I could name probably another 12...

@ellethespaceunicorn @peyton--warren @gummydummy19 @jvanilly @ronearoundblindly @ylva-syverson want to talk about your favorite characters?

[dollywheeler]

September 3rd, 1996

Dear diary,

I survived my first day as a Junior. Not that I am surprised because I'd planned everything perfectly. Almost everything.

I woke a few minutes before my alarm as I always do - I don't even know why I set it anymore, other than the fact I know the universe will screw me over the one time I won't. I went down to have breakfast with dad before he had to leave and went up to get ready after he'd gone at 7:15.

Whitney was late as usual when I went to pick her up, but I'd accounted for that so we were still out of her street by 7:50. We pulled into our parking spot at exactly 8:00. I don't know why that brings me so much joy.

Anyway, we went into homeroom together as Whit, Dylan and I all have Mrs. Haywood again. I hate that we only get our schedules during the first day - I never know what to prepare for. I know it's mostly introduction anyway and we won't need more than a notebook but it still irks me.

Today was the perfect example as to why. As usual, I'm one of the last to be handed paperwork - stupid double u - and everyone was already skimming over their classes and their teachers. At first, I assumed the murmuring was just the recognition of my last name on some people's rosters, but Whitney turned to talk to Dylan instead of me so there must have been something else going on.

Once I got the roster, I understood why.

My third period today was art.

With mister Byers.

Of course, he'd be here too. I mean, why else would they both come back? But did they both have to get jobs in Hawkins?

At least it distracted people from English with Mr. Wheeler, which I have seventh period - joy! Luckily, Zombie Boy returning is more noteworthy than Holly's weirdo older brother - small blessings I guess.

I don't get the hype though - he's just Will. Just one of Mike's lame friends.

And now he's going to teach my art class which used to be my one moment of peace during the week.

Ugh.

Dylan asked about my brother when we were walking into our next class. She apparently has him fourth period which sucks because it means I can't keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't befriend Mike behind my back. She has a tendency to lull teachers into personal conversations, which everyone loves because it means a distraction from the coursework but I know only means we have more work at home later. It's not really her fault she's just so damn likeable, anyway. Her chattiness is exactly why she's one of my best friends.

It became apparent that Dylan wasn't the only one who'd recognized Mike's name, either. After my second period French class I caught Daniel's eye in the hallway. I swear his smile brightened upon seeing me and for a second today was perfect - until he asked about Mike. Apparently we both have him seventh period. I want to be happy we're finally sharing a class but what kind of sick joke is it that Mike will be there?

He couldn't be present for any of my birthdays but he's going to be watching every second of me hanging out with the guy I like? The universe is clearly out to get me.

I managed to smile and shrug through an explanation though, and I don't think it came off too weird. He continued smiling at me so that's good. We compared schedules and other than English we don't share any classes at all, which put even more of a damper on today.

We reached Mister Byers' classroom, but luckily he wasn't greeting students outside the door so I could send Daniel on his way before Will saw us. I took a deep breath and forced myself to walk in and find a seat without looking in the direction of his desk. I don't know why my heart was pounding - it's not like I thought he was going to single me out or anything. It was just unsettling I guess, to be near this person you used to know, who probably knows more about you than you do about them.

Or think they know you - I'm not six years old anymore.

When he finally started the class I was able to look up at him now I knew his attention wasn't on me. He honestly hadn't changed at all. He still had a bowl cut, which possibly endeared him to me a little bit. It was more mature now, of course, shorter, and overall didn't look too out of place. Maybe just because he's Will. He's always been Will. I don't know how I would have felt if he'd didn't have the bowl cut anymore. Mike probably would have thrown a fit. He always hated change - until he didn't, I guess.

There was something sad about his posture as he started his class though; Like his excitement had dimmed. He didn't sound like he used to when talking about his favorite colors or arguing crayon against pencil. I felt bad once I caught him glance at me before quickly redirecting his gaze and realized why.

None of this is his fault, after all, and I always used to like him most of Mike's idiot friends. He was always nice to me, and now I was being childish.

So after his class was over I hung back a little and went to say hi. He looked surprised but pleased to see me standing at his desk and it immediately made me feel a lot better. I apologized for not saying anything earlier but he said it was fine and he understood this must be weird. He said he was glad I still liked art and we talked about that for a moment before he sent me on my way to my next class.

Nevertheless, it was actually nice to talk to him, even if it was only briefly, and he didn't bring up Mike, which I'm sure was intentional.

Of course, seeing Mike was inevitable.

I tried the same tactic as I had with Will's class - just keep my head down - but of course Mike can't take a hint. He actually tried to catch my attention and greet me as I was walking in and I couldn't really ignore him in front of everyone - in front of Daniel - so I just forced a smile and nodded before sitting down as far away from him as possible. At least he wasn't wearing a nerdy t-shirt as I'd feared but a button-up and slacks - proper English teacher attire. Mom would have approved.

I tried to take notes even though I hate sitting in the back of the class, and as my attention was slipping anyway I had to try harder not to look at Daniel. Mike is not allowed to catch me staring at him.

Not that it's any of his business.

When the bell finally rang I already had my bag packed and was ready to bolt, but of course so was everyone else. Seriously, back of the class is not the most efficient seating arrangement.

"Hey, Holls, wait up!" Mike called me back, and I had to do my best not to visibly cringe. At least he didn't call me 'Holly Dolly' again. The room was still emptying and some were curiously glancing over at us so I just forced a smile and moved closer so they couldn't listen in.

He asked if I'd received his letter and if I wanted to have dinner tonight. I told him I had cheer practice and went home.

He probably isn't stupid enough to believe me but maybe he'll get the hint.

Anyway, mom was waiting on me when I got home. She asked about Mike. I didn't have anything to tell her, which made me feel strangely guilty. It's not my job to play telephone, but mom just looked so disappointed... I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault even though it clearly isn't.

I hope she won't ask again tomorrow. Or the day after that.

Love, Holly