#i think . i wanted to highlight a lot of the trust between them !! not just reader for gojo but gojo for reader that

[there-will-be-a-way]

Today's therapy session (I'm finally doing therapy for my DID with someone *so* competent)

We started talking about the surgery and then spent most of the session talking about my DID, the shame that I feel regarding it and my doubts.

Bullet list of things I want to remember

My T said that Amely (part who's loyal to our family and misses them greatly) probably needs some of my parts to feel like the parents she longs for in order to not miss my real parents anymore (hearing this felt so 🥺, like my T truly gets us)

It would be helpful to have a part who can mediate between parts so that we function better (I suggested that Dirk could do it because I remembered a message he once left us, how he wants us to cooperate again but later when I looked it up, I found out that it was actually Kiran who left that message) (I just remembered that my therapist said Kiran is a cool name and that he wants to look up where it comes from because he's never heard of it before. Before I found a message from Kiran I hadn't heard of it either. I actually had to google if it was a real name but yeah, it is. And this is not the first part with a name I never heard before (see Anatolia).

My therapist said that it is rare for complete final fusion to happen but that we can learn to work together as a team

He calls my parts "Personen" ("persons") which feels a lot more compassionate than what former therapists called my parts ("Zustände" ("states") or "Figuren" ("figures))

He also said there's no need for shame, that everybody has parts but that mine are just more seperate which can be exhausting to deal with

He says that I could also view my DID as something that helped me to survive and I said that yeah, if I hadn't been able to split off these experiences I wouldn't be able to function to which he replied, "If you hadn't been able to do this, you would be dead." Which man. This man is speaking the truuuuth

Overall he just has such a kind and compassionate way to talk about my DID, it makes me feel so accepted and seen

My highlight of the session:

Me: "But what if I'm just imagining having these parts, what if it's all just in my head?"

My therapist:

(Yes, he quoted Dumbledore, not without a remark about how we're going to ignore the critique regarding J.K. Roling for a moment)

Yeah, I voiced that I'm scared that my first DID therapist might have pressured me to think I have DID (which in hindsight, no, this didn't happen). And my T said that it's there now. These parts inside me and the group chat we use to leave each other notes. So we can work with it. Do I still feel like a faker? Yeah, but I feel less "insane" now

I can't believe I'm really doing therapy for my DID. I'm actually so touched by how compassionate my therapist is that I had to thank him today, for taking away my shame. I truly trust him and I really don't trust easily. Part of me can't wait to finally tackle the DID and learn how to live together, as a team. Or a family? 🥺😭

[seiwas]

the comments/tags on the recent col fic are so so sweet and so lovely 🥺 aaah thank you so much everyone 🥹 i’m so happy you love the col couple as much as i do!! 🫶🏻

[bitterrobin]

look man, I like the interpretations of "eldest sibling Dick Grayson taking care of his younger brothers" and I like the theme of "eldest sibling forced to parent his youngest sibling in the absence of their actual parent" when applied to the 2009 era in some places/circumstances. BUT here's the thing. DICK WAS NOT PARENTING DAMIAN.

Dick didn't even see Damian as his brother for a good stretch of their early interactions. To me that was highlighted perfectly well in Resurrection of Ras al Ghul - Tim is Dick's brother and he believes in him, Damian is not Dick's brother and he's simply a kid who happens to be related to Bruce. And characterization aside, if I'm to believe Tim stans and the comics I've read then yeah, Tim was Dick's little brother that he cared for above a lot of things. They did brotherly things unprompted, they hung out together, Dick offered advice and defended Tim from threats and in arguments.

To that end, when Damian was introduced and made a part of the expanding Batman canon, he was not considered a brother. He was a son, in name only, to Bruce. He cared for the boy, enough to fight Ras, but not nearly enough to take him from the League or just...talk to him? About their roles, about Talia. He just left Damian behind with Talia, assuming that they both knew and understood his intentions to leave them independent. And then once he died, Damian’s fate is left up in the air. We have no idea what he and Talia were doing in the stretch of time between Resurrection and Damian showing up randomly in Battle for the Cowl. Once Damian appeared, it wasn’t a “okay Dick time to parent this child because he’s your sibling” it was “ok Dick time to watch over this crazy kid who you have no connection to besides Bruce because you’re the only adult who can control him/communicate w him.” Dick treated him like an obligation because he’s a kid, but didn’t feel the need to “parent” him because they weren’t family. Damian wasn’t family to any of the people present in the early 2009 era, they didn’t care for him because they liked him or wanted to do right by Bruce (when even Bruce didn’t feel the need to parent him) they watched over him because he was a factor of chaos and displacement. Dick made Damian Robin to have a method of control over him that eventually morphed into a method of mutual trust. Their relationship did grow closer, but as mentor/mentee. Dick held responsibility over Damian as Batman to Robin. Outside of that structure, we aren’t shown Dick taking Damian anywhere just to hang out, giving him advice as a normal person, defending him from villains and fearing for his life. I think Dick’s expressed more concern for the villains Damian fought than Damian himself.

Dick didn’t see him as a brother for most of their Batman and Robin run. His fatherly aspects weren’t even mentioned, until they were retroactively implied in Nightwing 2011 and onward. So, he wasn’t parenting Damian. He wasn’t a teenager being saddled with the responsibility. He was 25-30 year old man looking after a volatile 10 year old kid because no one else wanted to do it. And then once Bruce reappeared, then Damian got a much more explicit father-son relationship and Dick was made into a more brotherly figure. I’m not saying they didn’t eventually get close, but fandom overstates just how much Dick did to care for him, and cut straight to Dick as Damian’s family when their relationship was never that close until the 2011 reboot.

[felassan]

Some things in BioWare's transcript of the August 30th dev Discord Q&A are a lil different to what was actually said in the Q&A. not only editing to tidy up and be concise etc; some of it seems to actually be new/additional (or updated?) information. this post is just a quick summary of the new or different things I noticed when comparing the BioWare transcript to a word-for-word transcript (or at least the ones that stood out to me anyways). DA:TV spoilers under cut.

This post is a mix of new snippets and rephrased answers to things that were rephrased in a way that stuck out to me or interested me. nb, it doesn't highlight changes if the change was something not being included in the BioWare transcript (there was some of that too).

John Epler: "I don't know if any of [the Evanuris] consider [tea] a favorite beverage"

[re: hugging Assan] Assan "always appreciates the attention. He's got a sharp beak and he'd let you know if he didn't."

Variation of the WEWH question answer:

"There's always going to be politics to some degree - there are a number of different groups with different priorities, and not all of them are going to be immediately disposed towards trusting you. But while the Inquisitor had an organization and an army (and even Hawke and the Hero of Ferelden spent more time moving in political circles), Rook's situation is a little more desperate and immediate. Their approach is therefore a little more direct, and so while they may occasionally find themselves in the political sphere, they're not trying to assemble an army or build consensus amongst nation states."

[on companions' ages] The part of this where they described the companions' age range has been changed from where it said "early-mid twenties" to just say "mid twenties". Also, Taash was said to be "early twenties"; she is now simply "the youngest".

New sentence on the ages: "We don't usually nail down a specific age, unless it's something that comes up in their content, but we want to have an idea as to their general age range as we're writing them."

If no side characters stand out as a good candidate for a 'light' romance, this is never something they want to force

Griffons as half-bird half-lion - it now reads half-eagle half-lion

"Thedas has always been filled with extraordinary people, and in DATV you're trying to save the world. It stands to reason that the people you're bringing on board are going to be people with extraordinary circumstances of their own."

On the Veil not being in great shape and having been deteriorating in recent times/the intervening period between games, a more specific figure is given: "things in general have been slowly getting worse over the past decade and a half"

Lucanis and Bellara find out they have a lot in common and develop a "really fun" friendship, even though "it's hard to think of two companions who feel more different on the surface"

Neve and Bellara's friendship "kind of evolved organically as we were writing them, and finding out all the opportunities we could to throw little tastes of it into dialogue was a blast"

when enemies are slowed due to Slow Time, Rook stays moving at full speed

Rook's weapons and companions' gear can also be transmogged in addition to Rook's armor gear and casualwear

New sentence: "I've built Harding as a Support Character one run, and a DPS the next run. If you want to use Davrin as a DPS, you can do that."

"But each Companion has a gift that you can purchase from vendors in the world, and then give it to them." - it sounds like there is only one unique gift that you can give to the companions each?

"In general, something like a short story anthology is a volunteer thing - we ask people what they want to write and, generally, people tend to gravitate towards character ideas and concepts they already had in mind for a companion."

"So it's rare that we write a character that isn't intended to be a companion and then think 'oh wow this character would be a great fit', but it's not unheard of either."

"Ultimately we wanted to be sure that The Veilguard could be a good entry point to Dragon Age for new players and people who know almost nothing about the universe. But if you're the kind of player who wants to catch the most references, I'd suggest reading The Missing (most recent comic series) and Tevinter Nights. The former is a direct narrative setup for the beginning of the game" while Tevinter Nights is "less of a direct narrative tie", though it introduces "characters, concepts and story elements" that show up in the game

New sentence and info: [John Epler] "The Archon's Palace floating was something we came up with midway through writing Tevinter Nights and I had to furiously rewrite a few things." - the Floating Building is the Archon's Palace?

"Mae is a character that means a lot to so many DA fans" (<3)

Crow politics are now described as "complex" as well as deadly

"Some romances allow you to express interest without 'committing'" - so it sounds like not all of them allow this? - "but all romances eventually end up being exclusive"

"With each specialization we wanted to explore, both visually and through gameplay, what a specific class member of that faction might look like. Spellblade, for example, is our answer to the question 'what does a mage assassin look like'."

Our ability to save PCs so we don't have to start from scratch in CC each time was very important to the devs

"the feeling we want to evoke over the course of the game is one of growth, both in yourself as Rook and in your companions as they overcome their own problems with your help. These problems are often external in nature, but they are always tied, at their core, to the conflict that the character carries within them. And they are, also, always uniquely Dragon Age problems on the surface, but still relatable."

The difference in the answer to the is Lucanis possessed question interested me.

Original for the sake of comparison:

"So, again, spoilers, everyone has been warned, fairly warned. So Lucanis Dellamorte is also known as The Demon of Vyrantium. And, he has spent a lot of time killing Venatori, who are mages, and who do know a lot about demons, so. Yeah, somebody decided that it might be a good idea to make that nickname stick."

New:

"There's definitely something going on with Lucanis - and before you hired him, he was known as the Demon of Vyrantium. Might be that someone took offense to that nickname, especially since he earned it by killing Venatori."

New sentence in the answer to the is Thedas a southern continent question:

"Of course, nothing says that distance to the sun is the only factor impacting weather."

.. [probably reading too much into this don't look at me ik many factors influence weather irl hhh] magic? the Veil? the deteriorating Veil? the risen Gods? the Blight? Thedas is experiencing global warming? :D

"As part of our attempt to make the companions feel like they have their own lives outside of just Rook, we asked ourselves what pairings made the most narrative sense and then talked about how they might actually unfold in the game. And even before companions get together, you can see that interest starts to develop. Which is, I think, one of my favorite things about the companions. They don't just fall in love with each other, they become friends, confidents, and even rivals at times"

It takes Davrin a while to trust others. He can be a little standoffish, but eventually he warms up to anyone who shows that they have his back

As a monster hunter a lot of Davrin's hobbies revolve around that

"a lot of elves go around shoeless, and that's in part because they believe it brings them closer to nature. What better way to understand what the world and ground are saying than to walk directly on it? but not every Dalish follows this custom" [...] "The Veil Jumpers, in general, are a little more likely to wear boots and shoes, as they're far more likely to end up in dangerous places and fighting unsettling creatures than the average Dalish"

On Bellara's boots: "you never know when you're going to find a broken artifact with a lot of sharp edges."

Bellara is a big fan of pan-frying anything she can (re: food)

Lucanis has the refined palate of an Antivan Crow

Getting the beards to work with all the armor variations that they have was especially challenging with dwarves because they "tend to be" shorter

Those beards that were designed with dwarves in mind can alsobe used for humans and qunari (I wonder then if elves cannot have beards in CC? Like I know they usually don't have them or have it in CC and that lore says they don't but there are a also a few lorebreaking instances of it and I wasn't sure which way this one would go given how 'free choice/options for all' the CC in this game has sounded like it has been designed to be)

"You'll see more on this as we showcase character creator in our runup to launch"

For this question "Since you can choose to be a part of the same faction for most of the companions, will that give you an advantage when trying to befriend them?", the answer now reads that in addition to the unique dialogue same-background Rooks have with the companion of that background, it can also "change the timbre of your relationship a little bit"

John Epler: "one of my favorite things about this group of companions is how much time they spend with each other"

[on the companions] "They're a family, and like a family, they don't always get along"

"A lot of Solas' relationship with the player is personal. He sees a lot of himself in Rook - both the good and the bad - and largely talks only to you, as you're the one he has a connection with."

"Not to mention at least a couple of followers who would likely love to ask an ancient Elven god some questions."

"a common complaint we've heard in past games is that many players disliked always feeling like they needed a Rogue to be able to lockpick, so fortunately Rook finds a method to use these exploration abilities even when the associated Companion is not in your party"

An example of a companion's unique exploration ability is that Emmrich has an ability to briefly reanimate skeletons to open gates

Qunari not wearing helmets and only vitaar allows more flexibility when it comes to horns customization in CC

"yes - there will be some pretty obvious Act breaks. Not all content fits neatly into these buckets, as it's more a way of breaking up the critical path (companion and other side content follows a different cadence), but there are some pretty obvious Acts built into our game. A lot of the missions, though, we want to make sure players have the freedom to decide what they do and when they do it, so while they may have internal acts (follower missions form their own arcs), they don't conform to the overall main quest arcs"

The difference in the answer to the is Assan the only griffon question confirms that Assan was specifically one of the baby griffons that hatched at the end of Last Flight. (as opposed to another clutch that was laid in the last decade)

Old:

"So, again, just to be clear, spoilers, but yeah, Assan has brothers and sisters, so Assan is not the only griffon that shows up in Dragon Age The Veilguard."

New:

"If you read Last Flight, you'll know that Assan isn't the only griffon from that clutch of eggs, so he's got brothers and sisters. And if one griffon is good, a whole family of them is better, right?"

"We briefly experimented with other options for last names but it became unwieldy as we do refer to your Rook by their last name on several occasions, and accounting for 6 potential last names is already a lot of complexity."

Variation of the 'what goes into bringing back old characters' question answer:

"We always - both for Morrigan and any other characters we bring back - think about what they would've been up to since the last time anyone saw them. These characters should feel like real people, and the last thing we want to imply is that their stories stalled out while they weren't directly in the player's adventuring party. So we look at their arc before the time skip, and then think about where that arc would've taken them. In the case of Morrigan, she's coming to terms with a lot of truths about herself and about her mother. There are elements of her past that she's come to terms with, which is why she wears a version of Flemeth's crown. Ultimately you want the world to feel like it's real. And no one's the same person today that they were 10 years ago. That's stagnation, and it's bad in fictional characters as it is in real people."

The orb part of orb and dagger is called an Elemental Orb

Variation on the Dalish Elf vs City Elf question answer:

"While I think 'city elf' vs 'Dalish elf' is a useful distinction in the South, there's a lot more nuance in the North. Rivain, for example, has Dalish settlements intertwined with other cities. There's just not the same separation, so each of the factions has a unique approach to your lineage. You can define some of that further with choices you make in conversations - we really wanted to leave a lot of that open to players to RP."

[localization question answer variation] "Games are so complex and have so many moving pieces that you need to be in regular communication or things get missed. And a lot of that is because ultimately localization is more than just a straightforward translation. Jokes, metaphors, sayings - even specific lore terms - aren't just a matter of finding the equivalent word in another language. Every writer has a story about a time they had to explain the specifics of an off-color joke they wrote so that localization could properly capture the intent."

So mostly variations (as in rephrasing) and things, but some of the new info that particularly stood out to me was things like the description of Emmrich's exploration ability, the mention that the Floating Building is the Archon's Palace (iirc this was speculated before but not confirmed?), the new lil details or insights on Assan and Davrin, the bit about Assan being from the Last Flight eggs, etc.

[penvisions]

gone to the dogs {chapter one}

Pairing: Boston QZ! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: Bared teeth and instincts are all you have to defend yourself while out beyond the walls of the zone. And sometimes, you have Joel Miller, though he's just as apt to turn on you as anyone else.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, canon typical gore, outbreak fic, age gap (only by about ten years), dark fic, dark joel miller, mean joel miller, joel miller is uptight, degrading language, sexual language, sexual proposition, violence, heated interactions, adult language, fighting, references to injuries, blood, one (1) instance of joel miller bashing someone's head in, gun use, gun violence, reader chokes someone out, reader is snarky, reader meets joel toe-to-toe with insults and it's amazing both reader and joel pov, lemme know if there are any i missed!

A/N: this is different by far than anything else i've written and shared. dark joel miller content tends to be so controversial sometimes but i've been wanting to explore this part of his character for quite a while. the reader insert is also far more...robust than any i've written but it's all so exciting! please lemme know what y'all think?

ao3 link || series masterlist || navigation || ko-fi

The tracks are faint, you’re barely able to make them out yourself as you crouch low to the ground and move your hand in the direction they look like they’re headed in.

“Hey, you missed somethin’.”

“The hell you talking about, there ain’t nothin’ to miss.” He’s suddenly hovering over you, his own footfalls silent despite the pain you know he carries in his back and the swagger he has to adapt to not irritate it. He’s shining his flashlight on the imprint you had managed to find among all the dirt and rubble, a barely there scrape in the dirt that could be mistaken for anything. His voice is harsh, degrading in tone as he scoffs at your find. “You didn’t find shit, stop trying to make somethin’ outta nothin’.”

“Yeah and I suppose the marks that look about the same depth and span out in an even trail heading north ain’t shit either, huh?” You ignore the heat of his legs clad in faded and dirt smeared denim far too close for comfort. It would be easy to brush against them if you turned just slightly. Straitening back up to your full height, you don’t step back as you aim your own light over the similar marks that lead down a narrow path between the scattered and broken bricks. “It’s someone’s staggered gait, would bet they twisted their ankle or knee and it’s dragging enough to leave ‘em behind for us. Need to trust the younger pair of eyes we’ve got out here.”

“Don’t mean it’s our guy.” Joel doesn’t budge, ignoring the double whammy insult, head turning back at the hush of wind sweeping between the crumbling buildings. He turns his light off, securing it between his belt and waistband on the back of his hip. You know he knows there’s some truth to your words with how he ignores them. A habit of his you picked up, silence in the wake of begrudging agreement. Never voiced lest someone overhear that he had his moments of amenable tendencies, even if they were very rare and far between.

“Could be.” You insist, you knew what you were doing. You knew how to get the damn job done and if he heeded your words even once, he would realize it could make the situation go a whole lot smoother than it had been. But of course he doesn’t, he’s as stubborn as you are. Something you loathe about the man who had become one of your partners. It was hard to trust him when he didn’t trust you, constantly at odds with the gruff way he insisted he knew better. It was beginning to get on your nerves, the days harder when you had to interact with him in such close proximity.

“Could be isn’t good enough.”

“Do you need a blowjob or something?” You turn slightly to face him, his strong profile highlighted by the dark golden hues of the setting sun.

“Excuse me?" He pinned you with a dark glare, not taking kindly to your question. He’s chest to chest with you now, hard expression aimed down at you as you don’t move an inch. You wouldn’t back down, never had before and wouldn’t now. He may be intimidating, but you were too in your own ways. Hell, the first encounter you had with the man ended up with your knife at his throat and your knee over his crotch.

Him and Tess had been in your apartment, staking out the smuggling ‘competition’ once they had arrived in the Boston zone. Coming home from a rather painful migraine after shoveling ashes of deceased people had been one of the highlights of the day, if such a thing could even be considered that, only to find two strange people rummaging around through your things. Joel hadn’t been prepared for you to turn on him first, thinking he had hidden himself well in the shadow of your door and following it as you slowly closed it behind you.

A warning shot fired off at Tess had her scrambling behind the beat-up couch in the middle of the room while you turned on him. Only after demanding answers from them and getting them from the woman as she crouched behind the furniture, had you backed down from a stoic Joel.  

“You heard me. You're pent up and snapping at everyone, need some relief?" Tilting your chin up, you meet his dark gaze head on, smirk pulling your lips up on one side. His eyes dilate just the slightest bit before narrowing, but you caught it and he knows you did. His voice is the deepest you’ve ever heard as he slowly responds with only one syllable.

“No."

"I think you do. Don't think I haven't seen the way your eyes drag down my body when you're walking behind me.” A bold statement, but a true one nonetheless. His eyes were a heavy and heady weight whenever they did exactly what you taunted. The thrill of the older man merely looking at you when he thought you wouldn’t see it perked up your self-esteem in a way you weren’t completely immune to, even in the shambles of what the world had turned into.

"Delusional. you're a delusional little-“

"I’m not a little girl, and you damn well know that." You punch the tip of your pointer finger into his chest, the dirty denim warm from his body heat. He’s a big man with a big reputation and it’s hard not to feel powerful as you obviously found one of the weak spots of his soft underbelly. An attack dog, a guard dog, a rabid dog, they all had one thing in common. They were only as strongest as their weakest point.

And you think you just found his.

The mischief of the unexpected discovery must glint in your eyes because his brows furrow impossibly deeper. The frown lines around his mouth pulling his thick mustache down, though it does nothing to shield the pale pink of his full lips.

He scoffs again, a harsh sound from the depths of his chest. Smacking your hand away from him, he takes off to follow the trail he can see a little better now that you’ve pointed it out.

“Coulda fooled me.”

“Act like you’re hot shit around the zone, only reason people don’t mess with you is cause of me.”

“I was doin’ just fine on my own. Remind me again, who staked out who to scope out the competition?”

“Wouldn't let you touch me if I was at the end of a barrel, and it was my saving grace."

“Fuck off, Miller.” You spit back, unable to rise to his taunt even as you fall in line beside him. That one stung, you had to admit. It was your own stupid fault, for finding him so attractive. From his dark hair threaded with silver to the way he carried a lifetime on his shoulders.

But his attitude muddied it, he was no better than a lot of the men you had run into before reuniting with your brother. The end of the world bringing out the worst in people, just like you had never one to sling insults so harshly or tease people easily a decade older than yourself who could snap your neck with a well-placed grip. Just like you assumed the man Joel had been before all this wouldn’t have even dared to think of talking to a woman with such spite and malice, if his faded accent told you more than he ever would.

The trail ends just at the shattered glass of what was once a revolving door entrance to a skyscraper looms ahead. There’s fresh blood splatter and the bag of supplies stolen from where they had been hidden for you and Joel to pick up. Two shells from a gun lay on the ground beside it, and you quickly grip your handgun to survey the area for the culprit who fired the shots.

Joel holds up two fingers, your attention going to him almost instinctively as he motions for you to crouch and round the left side of what remains of the door and into the building after the drops of blood. His eyes are focused, his full lips a hard line as he nods once to make sure you understand him.

Only looking away once you return the gesture. He turns so his back is to yours and makes sure there’s enough coverage for you both with his own gun at the ready. As quietly as you can manage with what’s still hopefully inside the pack, you pick it up with your free hand and avoid as much glass as possible.

No shots ring out, no bullets lodge themselves into your shoulder or Joel’s, everything is eerily still as you both move in tandem to seek the protection of the building. It seems to be blocked off inside, large pieces of plywood secured over the doors that had once been for elevators. The emergency exit off the right barricaded with all the furniture that once filled the ground floor waiting area.

“Fuckin’ told you it was a trail.” You mumble as the conflict seems to be over, the body of the man who had taken off with your hidden pack behind the front desk. Fresh blood seeping from a gunshot wound to his neck and the bandage wrapped thick around his ankle. You don’t flinch when Joel brushes past you harshly to stomp the bottom of his worn boots into the man’s head or the sick crunch that echoes slightly in the open space. Ensuring he doesn’t turn if he had been infected.

He rounds on you quickly enough to stir your instincts, the fleeting fear of him doing the same to you flaring up and making you take a half step back at the fierce look in his eye. The words he practically growls at you making your heart stutter painfully in your chest, suddenly breathless at the combination.

“Would you shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you? Tired of hearing that shrill voice all the god damn time.”

You huff, trying to play off the fear as indifference, shoving the bag of supplies at him. He doesn’t move to catch it, allowing it to hit him square in the chest, the pills and bullets contained inside rattling as the entire thing fell to the ground with a thunk.

Joel could only watch as you stalked off without another word, shoulders tense and hands shoved deep in the pockets of your jacket. He had seen the dilation of your eyes, the way your chest had risen with a quick inhale at his intensity. He had scared you.

That was new and he wasn’t sure if he liked it any better than you teasing him about being uptight and needing a little bit of pleasure in his life. An unpleasant lump rises in his throat and he tries to swallow it down.

Frowning, he bends to pick up the fallen pack, shoving it into his own nearly empty one before following after you. The silence that had fallen allows him to pick up the faint sound of labored breathing. But it isn’t coming from you up ahead.

It must’ve registered as a third person in the same instant for you because you’re turning to him with a finger pressed to your lips as you crouch behind a chunk of blasted concrete, gun already in hand. He mirrors you, reflections of each other as you each move around the barrier and take an assessing peak around respective corners.

Another man is laid out a few yards away, upper body slumped heavily on against the tire of a rusted car.

He’s barely alive, his breath rattling in his chest at a timbre that could only signal his impending death. A stark sound he recalls from a time long ago, both painfully fresh and numbed by years of oppression. He blinks the sound away, eyes closed for barely a second before you’re closing the distance with quick and quiet movements. A lunging dog at the sight of a threat. Constantly poised to take out anything that challenged the life you clung to.

It’s a reminder of why he willingly works with you, the way your smaller hands close around the man’s neck and clench. Shoulders displaying the strength you possess even with rationed food and improper amenities for life. If he wasn’t on your side, you would turn those same hands on him without a second thought. You had the first time you had met, when he had willingly gone into the den you had created for yourself in search of answers. In search of the name people gave when asked about who had the most knowledge on how to sneak out of the zone he now resides in.

He watches as you pick the man’s corpse clean, ration cards going in your pocket that he doesn’t think to demand a fair share of. Of the gun you hold out to him in silent offer.

No words are exchanged as you lead him back to the perimeter of the zone as the sun dips completely below the horizon. Moonlight illuminating your body effortlessly slinking and squeezing into places you had picked out that would allow for him to do the same with little trouble. You knew the operations of the zone, hell you probably were the reason some of them were orchestrated the way they were. The fear he had seen in you may have been fleeting, a response that allowed you to recognize the threat he could pose to you as well, but the way he admired your will to survive was not.

You only stay at his side long enough to relay the run to Tess, who had stayed behind and worked to ensure an alibi for you both. Signing your names and hers with one of the soldiers who traded with you on the roster in a perfect imitation of keeping up appearances for the demanded duties of all that reside in the zone. The ration cards slid into your back pocket are handed off to the older woman, no words or sounds coming from you before you slink out the door to their shared excuse of an apartment and down the hall to yours.

But he knew better than to think it was with wounded pride and your tail tucked between your legs, because he could hear the way you moved about your own space through the thin walls as if it had just been another day. Tess is watching him as his head tilts where he slumps on the couch, ears following the shuffle of your steps and the sound of clinking as you go about your own business. When he turns to meet her gaze, it’s unreadable but she doesn’t ask the reason for his short run down of what happened or the silence you had fallen into.

next chapter

taglist: @sawymredfox @tuquoquebrute @orcasoul @itsokbbygrl @keylimebeag

@n7cje @hiddenbabynyc @ameagrice @everythingiwanttoread @furiousmushroom

@vivian-pascal @76bookworm76 @dugiioh @jellybeanxc @littlemisspascal

@undercoverpena @janaispunk @jessthebaker @persephone-girl

@corazondebeskar @harryscum @morgaussy @burntheedges @pascalpvnk @cavillscurls

[amerricanartwork]

Hewwo!

I just want to say that I LOVE your lilypad and Moon and Pebbles being adorable siblings drawings and headcanons! 🥺❤

Have a great day :3

Awww, thanks! It's always nice to see your support, Tanya!

Although, since you decided to mention both Lilypad AND the siblings, mind if I take this opportunity to actually introduce some more character headcanons and story plans tying both of these character relationships together?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

First of all I want to establish, if I haven’t depicted it in my other content thus far, that in my general interpretation Five Pebbles and No Significant Harassment do not like each other. A lot. I won’t go into detail as to why right now (it’s based on a lot of deeper character knowledge that I’ll save for an official headcanon post), but I’ll say that Sig likes to tease Pebbles a lot — which given what I just said about him hating being disrespected, especially by older iterators, already creates tension easily — and while Pebbles’s stubbornness alone isn’t too unbearable, the arrogance and excessive pride he carries into his endeavors really ticks off Sig. 

Now, this conflict alone I headcanon as having played a part in the Moon’s collapse/Pebbles’s rot situation, but this issue will likely come to a head once again in my AU story because of one factor: Lilypad. 

You see, I currently expect Lilypad to become official pretty early on in the story for character development reasons, and because with my character headcanons on Sig and Moon and their relationship it just seems like a natural choice for them to make in that situation. However, this occurrence would definitely also heighten the tension between Sig, who doesn’t trust the guy who literally killed his new lover anywhere around her, and Pebbles, who really doesn’t like the idea of one of his least favorite people snuggling up with the one person he’s actually somewhat willing to open up to. Although for a while he won’t directly admit that he takes issue with it (which is an example of another, more fundamental problem of his in-and-of itself), and that last part isn't saying too much considering how awful all of Pebbles’s relations are by the story’s start. 

I also want to reiterate that Lilypad alone isn’t the biggest reason why Pebbles and Sig hate each other so much. Rather, the relationship and their reactions to it are the clearest physical manifestation of what I headcanon as the actual main reasons for their conflict and frequent disagreement on various matters.

But anyway, the “debate” over Lilypad ends up being another conflict between these two, and of course poor Moon struggles a lot trying to keep the peace when her little brother and new boyfriend are frequently threatening to throw hands (metaphorically), while also trying to work through some of her own issues that this development highlights. She feels horribly guilty for re-igniting their conflicts, and is afraid of siding too much with one of them and making the other feel ignored or attacked, but it also gets harder and harder to hide how much it hurts her to see them hate each other so much. Although now that I think about it, this situation could end up being something aiding Moon’s character arc as well. But once again, I don’t wanna give away too much here, so that’s something for another time!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I hope I didn't bombard you with this, Tanya! I kinda just saw the opportunity and wanted to talk more about these characters and their relationship. I definitely plan for it to get a lot better, but I thought I needed to give a bit of the setup first.

Regardless, thanks again for the ask! I can't wait to start unpacking my major headcanons regarding these characters' psychology, especially Five Pebbles's...!

[perfectlyoongi]

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who always greeted you with a hug. the day only started when Hoseok saw you; when Hoseok met you on the street or at home, it was more than guaranteed that a big, long hug would greet you. holding you in his arms, protecting you from the world for a few seconds, Hoseok hugged you with the happiness of the sun. your hearts synchronized their beat in a little symphony of pure love and trust — you felt so safe in your best friend’s arms. “hi, my butterfly! how was your night? i’ve just arrived in the city and i’m exhausted. do you mind if we go to my house?”

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who does the ghost photoshoot with you. autumn is a beautiful season of the year; colorful leaves cried from the various trees, flowers tried to understand if life was still worth living and the sky became nostalgic for the loss of summer. and it was on these colder and more colorful days that you and Hoseok would wear a white sheet with a pair of sunglasses and go to parks and gardens taking as many photos as you could. it was a tradition that came from childhood and was certainly a tradition that would last. “i passed a small garden that still has some green bushes. do you want to go there and take some photos? i kept your sunglasses, don’t worry, you don’t lose them.”

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who has a snoopy t-shirt and gave you a woodstock one. as soon as Hoseok saw the two t-shirts next to each other, you immediately came to his mind. snoopy and woodstock, you and Hoseok — two best friends from the beginning of time to the end of time. it was more than predictable that Hoseok would buy him the snoopy t-shirt and what is snoopy without his woodstock? of course you also had to have your own t-shirt. “what can i say? they created snoopy and woodstock with us in mind. we are the inspiration of best friends.”

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who made you sign his sneakers. whenever Hoseok buys a new pair of sneakers that have the color white decorating them, Hoseok would bring the shoes to you and ask you to sign them. it was a superstition that arose before he became an idol: when you signed his white sneakers that late afternoon before Hoseok’s audition, you didn’t think that you would spend the rest of your time signing sneakers. it was Hoseok’s lucky charm. whether for everyday walking or for wearing on stage, any sneaker with the slightest white detail contained your name and a small heart that flooded Hoseok with pure hope and confidence. “i’m going to wear these sneakers to the show tomorrow and i need you to sign them urgently. i need some of your magic for tomorrow, please.”

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who teaches you his choreography and only laughs at your failures. Hoseok loved your company and it was in your company that Hoseok felt free; so, when a new choreography had to be learned, he would ask for your company to encourage him to give a little more of himself. between Hoseok’s awkward first steps and the perfection of his movements was your support: your voice echoed around the room and brought smiles from Hoseok that he couldn’t hide. and when the choreography had already been learned and memorized, Hoseok would invite you to try dancing with him and, oh, how it was the highlight of Hoseok’s day; whether you danced well or had more difficulty, Hoseok was always ready to laugh at any and all mistakes you made, recording these little memories that would last forever on his phone. “no, no. first you stretch your leg and only then you look back. if we continue doing this we will end up in the emergency room. oh my god! enough for today. you’ve already done a lot.”

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who rents you a cabin every summer. once a year, Hoseok had to decompress, forget all the hustle and bustle of the city and his work and enjoy some of the tranquility that nature could offer him; and all his rest was only complete when shared with you. so, every summer for four or five days, Hoseok would rent a small cabin in the middle of nowhere where he would spend the days in pure relaxation and happiness in your presence. a little friends vacation that brought so many memories and love that you both knew would always be repeated in the coming year. “i swear my heart only finds peace when it’s with you.”

BEST-FRIEND!HOSEOK who confessed to you when you were watching the stars on a summer night. endless stories were being reflected in the vast sky, illuminating that warm night. several stars danced in the dark sky, adorning the entire world with an eternal cloak of beauty and destruction. and moved by the beauty of the stars, completely surrendered to the cosmic destruction of those stars, Hoseok spoke to the sky. Hoseok confessed to you, but he spoke to the sky, wanting his words to be saved by the various stars for when you were willing to repeat them to Hoseok. “i like you, you know? every night i wish your love for me would turn into something more. every night the stars know that i just want to give myself to you.”

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 09: do you like sweets?

You are fully self-aware that you have delusional tendencies, but you know yourself well enough to think that you weren't that far gone yet to the point that you will start seeing your long distance crush right in front of you.

He's probably real.

Taking notice of your presence, Scaramouche then turned towards you. His face was hard to read, other hand holding his phone and the other inside the pockets of his denim pants. His oversized black shirt was tucked, highlighting his good figure.

'Holy. He's got good style too,' you thought. It was simple, yes. But he carries outfits so damn well.

But what is he even doing here in your uni?

Since an eye contact has already been made, you flashed a sheepish smile and a light wave. Your loud personality online was such a huge contrast in comparison to how you're actually behaving now.

He just stared. 'Oh. So he's the cold type. God, he's exactly my type.'

"Aren't you going in?" You snapped out of your musings upon hearing his voice.

"I was about to. I'm starving," you chuckled. He scoffed. "I could use a bit of food, too."

"We should eat at the birthday party then."

"Kazuha's?"

You nod.

He looked away. "Go and eat inside. I'll find another place to eat at."

You flashed a look of disbelief. Scaramouche raised a brow in confusion. "Dude, you're literally already at a restaurant and you still want to go somewhere else to eat?"

"And you're hungry, aren't you?"

He sighed. "Look, I don't know if you know this, but the one holding a party — well, we're not on the best of terms."

Oh. Yeah.

There's that thing.

How the fuck could you forget that the love of your life is from the rival of your brother's team?

"Ah," You nod again. He seemed to take it as you understanding his reasoning and turned the other way, attempting to head off.

If only you hadn't tugged at his shirt.

"What the?!"

You led him to a lone bench at the parking lot, lit warmly by the streetlight just directly above it. "Sit there and wait for me."

"Excuse me?" He hissed. "What am I? A dog?"

"Your words, not mine." You grinned. "Just do as I say, okay? It won't be long, I promise."

He was about to retort but you cut him off by hurriedly entering the lively restaurant.

When you got back, you easily spotted Scaramouche who was sitting comfortably on the bench where you left him. He immediately scooted over once he saw you.

"Wow," he remarked. "You know I actually doubted if you would even come back."

You chuckled as you sat and handed him his plate. "Do you have trust issues?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, so you do."

He rolled his eyes.

Your late dinner with him was mostly filled with a comforting silence, with some bits of small talk in between. The only ones left on your plate were delectable desserts, as well as the little pieces of food you left out.

"Do you like sweets?"

"No," Scaramouche speedily replied. "They're disgusting."

You subconsciously frown. "Shame. I like them."

"You can have mine then," he says as he picks up his portion of desserts and transfers them to your plate. Unbeknownst to you, his observant gaze failed to miss how your eyes sparkled in delight at the sight of mouthwatering sweets.

As he did so, Scaramouche also spotted some leftovers on your plate. "Do you not like bitter stuff?"

"My tongue can't handle them."

"Give it to me then instead of wasting food, idiot."

You let out a laugh. "Is that your way of saying you like bitter stuff?"

The man just let out a quiet "tch" before taking a bite.

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

previous . masterlist . next

SUMMARY —you find plenty of guys around you attractive, but there is only one you’re willing to make the first move on: the guy you first saw during your older brother’s soccer game. spoiler: he's a player from your rival university.

NOTES -> a lot has happened lmaoo i was so busy aaa -> i graduated hs finally :P -> i also submitted my requirements for college haha -> also can u guys believe i'm gonna be in college while my college smau is on going omg -> and apologies for ghosting HASDHADHA (also wtf fontaine livestream tomorrow already whaaat time flies so fast omg)

TAGLIST I (closed)

@lady-elodie @krnzysh @syriiina @unsterblich-prinz @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @lowkeyivorie @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks

[angelfirstclass]

Cherik- the heart and soul of X-men 97.

So whether you ship them together or think of them as brothers or whatever, the relationship between Erik Lensherr and Charles Xavier is the heart and soul of this show and dare I say the entire franchise in whatever form. We see their friendship and being nemeses and relationship in pretty much all versions of the X-men and Xmen 97 is chock full of Cherik gold.

The series starts out with Magneto inheriting the X-men and Xavier's entire estate which says a lot about their close relationship and Xavier's trust in Magneto. He trusts and relies on him even above his precious X-men as they are caught off guard by this news and are even hurt by it like Scott. In this act, Xavier follows his heart and feels that by doing this he gets Magneto to come to his path and for the X-men to lose an adversary and also be less burdened with leading the team.

Going forward, Magneto loyally follows Xavier's path honoring his memory and legacy. Even reluctantly and with gritted teeth his restraint is "proof of (his) desire to honor Charles Xavier's dream of mutant human coexistence". To see how far he was before as a X-men adversary to one who truly wanted to honor Xavier was very extreme and a testament to Erik's love for Xavier. He goes through a lot in the series even undergoing a massacre and even through that event continues to try to be a X-man and show restraint and be a leader, but eventually it becomes too much for him.

The scene in episode 2 is very telling of their relationship when Magneto speaks of the helmet and how he could always sense Charles as a presence. "I was in his thoughts and he in mine." Romantic or not, this line highlights just how important the two of them were to each other and that's love is it not? Then Rogue hits the nail on the head by stating that Magneto was worried about if he felt how much Xavier still loved him, Magneto wouldn't be able to go through with his crusade. Magneto canonically lays out that he knew/knows that Xavier loves him.

At the end of ep 2, Magneto is seen looking at a picture of Charles and himself when they were young that is kept framed on Charles' desk. Whether that was Charles' picture (which I suspect) or put there by Erik, the implications are clear the two are important to each other despite the past or their differences. Storm is talking about finding connection and pans on Rogue and Magneto and Morph and Wolverine, but also stands for Charles and Erik.

In ep 5, Magneto is considered to rule over Genosha because of his trial and because Xavier trusted Magneto with the X-men. He mentions the pivotal bar scene we will see later and what a moment it is for Magneto. At this moment, he is seeing his and Xavier's dreams coming true which he never thought possible. It turns out Magneto was right, but at this moment Xavier's dream seemed real and it was Magneto that was leading the way to get them there.

At this point I have to mention Rogue in that she is the only other person that is connected to Erik and understanding of his thoughts. I like Rogue and don't think that it gets in the way of Cherik. Rogue has seen Erik's inner thoughts through her absorption powers or by the time spent talking to him. She is the one who gets the Cherik relationship better than most and understands the love the two have for each other and how long and deep their relationship is. She is not an obstacle to Cherik, she may be the Queen Erik wants (particularly when he thinks Charles is gone), but is also someone who gets the Cherik thing and understands. This leaves so much room for love triangles and Magneto bi loveness galore. Rogue GETS it, she's not going to stand in the way.

Then leading to the finale, there is so much Cherik even a non-Cherik fan is left with no doubt that there is something there between the two. Whether its the salty "Welcome home, cheater" vibes about the Bird Queen, the bickering about Genosha and Bastion and Magneto's response, and the scintillating together in Erik's mind sequences, there is so much Charles-Erik action going on that the writers gifted us.

Granted, I was sort of pissed at Xavier in the first part of the finale for not being on Magneto's side and being so harsh on him after all that Erik had been through as well as thinking that going into his head was a violation. I still kind of feel that way, but I'm more understanding of Xavier's flaws (he's not perfect, not by a longshot) and also of how much he loves Erik despite violating his mind. The fact that he was willing to lose his own mind and also endure the tragedies and pain of Erik despite knowing Erik's tragic history is a testament to how much he loves Erik. Magneto may have conflicting feelings about what happened after season 1, but I don't think he's going to ever forget how Xavier basically talked him out of oblivion and made him come back to himself talking about love and family.

Magneto saves the day, but it must be remembered that Professor Xavier did not have to return Magneto back to his mind or the world. Magneto has been a fierce adversary in the past and is currently causing major mayhem to the planet and still Xavier considers him a brother and encourages him to recognize and become Magneto again. In another storyline, Rogue could have absorbed Magneto while he was down and got the planet up and running, but that's not the direction the writers went with because it didn't highlight the Cherik relationship as well. The writers wanted to focus in on Cherik and so I again repeat that Charles and Erik's relationship is the thesis, the plot, the heart of the show and I can't wait to see more.

[myokk]

I filmed a timelapse of my process for this quick one💓

Honestly not really happy with how this turned out & I’ll probably redo it😆 but I always love making process videos!!

I REALLY HAVE TO TRUST MY PROCESS🙏🙏🙏 these paintings always look AWFUL😳 until the very end but luckily I’ve painted enough of them to keep pushing through and not give up in tears bahahahahahah

1) I start out just painting the base colors. I have a dirty paint palette I NEVER clean😤 but tbh I like it bc every color I want is basically already mixed from a previous painting, and I like having all of the colors kind of blend together. If I need a different color though I’ve never had problems mixing to get exactly what I’m looking for💓

2) WAIT FOR IT TO DRY (I didn’t…you can see at one point I check the back of the page to make sure I didn’t destroy it completely). This paint dries SUPER fast…I am just impatient bc the next step is when it all starts to come together🥰:

3) COLORED PENCIL ON TOP!! I always make sure the paint covers almost all of the page except the parts I want to keep really white, because the colored pencil looks awful if it isn’t drawn on top of paint. I just sharpen them and go in with the small details, but I also love going crazy with the colors and using them to shade, add highlights, add extra pops of color etc. For example, on Bea’s shirt I used gold, dark blue, dark brown, normal brown, mauve, tan, olive green…I just like to experiment and have fun choosing the colors (esp ones that I think SHOULDN’T work but they DO🥰)

Sometimes I switch between the paint and the colored pencil bc the paint can be used to kind of “erase” any mistakes, but I can’t go too crazy or add a lot of water to it because I use the cheapest paper known to man and it gets destroyed SO EASILY 😫 all of the fanart I’ve drawn is in €1 notebooks

[mtkay13]

And yet.... another..... Face reveal illustration.

And of course, another long post, LOL.

More thoughts on the passage below!

This illustration is born from a hyperfocus of mine on this sentence:

Ah-Xu... [...] Did... did I tell you that I like men?"

他忽然发现，其实对方一辈子都不将那易容卸下来，在自己心里，也从来就应该是这样一副模样，如今看到他长得竟如自己想象中的感觉别无二致，就像是……已经认识了他很久很久一样。 [Wen Kexing] suddenly realized that, should [Zhou Zishu] have kept the mask on forever, this was the face he'd have pictured in his heart. Now, seeing this face that exactly matched the one he had pictured, it simply felt like.... meeting again with someone he'd known for a very, very long time.

This, to me, feels like the comforting familiarity of knowing, of understanding a friend, feeling at ease despite the years, the distance; the feeling of meeting a friend IRL for the first time despite knowing them for years, and yet everything clicks--

To me, the beauty in this passage is in how the mask... never really did anything, change anything. Wen Kexing became friends with the person behind the mask, felt this deep connection for this man regardless of what he could look like, and seeing him, now, his face revealed, is that comfort of, yes--I recognize you. It's you.

What I really enjoy in TYK is Wenzhou's companionship, the way they understand each other so profoundly, and their friendship. The fact that they liked each other as people first, that they connected so well despite the odds. This connection between them makes a lot of the feelings mutual, and I feel like this sentence above, part of it is felt by Zhou Zishu as well; and removing his mask, although it is for practical reasons within the context of the story, showing his face to Wen Kexing is a way to affirm trust, both ways. I trust you with my own face, but you can also trust me--because I show you, I welcome you in. This passage... almost feels like a greeting. "Hello again, friend." except they've been tagging along for a while, now.

I used to wonder if Zhou Zishu was nervous about Wen Kexing seeing his face, as I do think he's a bit self-conscious about his frail body and struggles to understand Wen Kexing's big declaration of attraction to him--sort of like, "will he still like me, what will he think of my face?". I don't really stand by that anymore, because my understanding of ZZS has changed since then. It really feels more like, it's fine, we know each other, we're friends anyway now whether I like it or not. I wonder, is he a bit happy that he gets to greet WKX with his real face? He mentions having counted on keeping his mask until he dies, but... ? It's pretty obvious that at this point in the story, ZZS is already deeply fond of WKX, so I can't help but feel like he is happy, deep down, that he gets to make that connection.

For WKX, it must be comforting, but also quite bittersweet. His appreciation, his growing love for ZZS, only comforted by this familiarity, this acknowledgement of companionship, of ease together, while he is so deeply aware that ZZS is condemned... I feel like at this moment, he must want to hug him, to keep him close, and think, I wish I could have him longer, I wish he could stay; for he's the only friend he's ever had, for he never connected with someone like that before.

Now to adress the elephant in the room and jump onto the next topic, I keep saying "friend", "companion". Needless to say that I am well aware that wenzhou have a romantic+ bond, but I just feel like this part highlights this aspect of their relationship that I profoundly cherish. And thus we reach WKX's very famous line:

It's hilarious, perfectly timed, but I especially love how I feel like, rather than highlighting how gorgeous or attractive ZZS could be, this is yet another way for WKX to lighten his own mood, to detach himself from the deeper feelings, the longing, the fondess, the comfort--given how untimely this all is. It hurts, to feel attached to ZZS as a person, because he's going to die soon, while joking about fucking and being gay always works, and it has the benefit to make ZZS flustered.

So yeah, point is, I'm obsessed with that scene.

Also, obligatory reference to the past versions, which I noticed make sort of a nice movement? haha.

I'm not really standing by the first one anymore, but it works in that context!

[realvicoba]

(I tried posting this before but I somehow can't find it?? So if you see it twice on my blog, please let me know, because it's not showing for me at all!)

Gon character study!!! He's not as appreciated as other characters, so here is me appreciating my son <3

The 2011 anime left out some key details from the first chapter, Specifically Kite and Kon.

Taking away so much from Gon's character in the process— as he's a perceptive kid and takes everything around him in. He learns from experience and sight, and we clearly see just how much he's learned from the wild which also enters into his mental aspects as well as his physical ones.

He's lonely, and was basically raised by wild animals so he bases his morals, or lack thereof, on that, while the more human aspects are based off of Mito's teachings as his mom. The rules of the animal kingdom added with the rules of humanity— we see how those two mix in his character!

So in words, his more subconscious moral standing that he learned from observing the wild is:

"the strong eat the weak."

And the one he voices is, the more human aspect,

"There should be reasons for hatred and causing harm."

And he bases those reasons on his views and understanding of someone's character and the nature of the situation.

Except, that doesn't always make sense, and can become hypocritical of him...

"Killua was an assassin? Well, that's how his family raised him, so it's only natural for him to kill people in the hunter exam.

Hisoka is scary, but I don't feel bad for the ones he killed. It's the nature of the hunters exam.

Hanzo is fighting this way to get his license, I understand. It's the nature of the exams. I won't hold it against him.

These are ruthless thieves and killers. They won't feel sympathy for their actions. But why are they grieving their comrade?

I didn't want to kill this monster, but he's sadistic and said he kills for no reason. So I crushed him.

If this person lies to me, I will kill them.

Why is my target healing an innocent girl? That doesn't make sense. I will threaten her. But she's innocent. I will wait, but I will kill her after an hour or when the monster shows any signs of betraying my trust because then it'd be my target's fault for not listening to me."

... When his idea of someone's nature is challenged, he finds it confusing. Getting angry, upset and growing incredibly unstable, and it becomes clear that a lot of his morals are just him trying to excuse certain actions of his friends and himself— and to try and get complicated feelings out of his system.

He also seems to be a bit of a thrill-seeker, but that's for another day!

All in all, I do think Gon is a very mature and intelligent kid for his age. But still, he's barely a teen, and he's lived a quiet life surrounded with love yet held a deep sense of emptiness and a lack of self worth perpetuated by his father's abandonment.

Is he selfish? You can say that! I don't think it's a selfishness based on bad intentions or a lack of care for others, but rather what he's seen from the more simple dynamics between animals and his tiny family.

I could also go on a tangent on his rage scene... But, that's for another post! 🤓

Is he a bad person? Far from it! It's clear Gon is caring and empathetic, but he's not perfect. Empathy is a difficult concept, and just as difficult to understand and deal with, which is something Gon's constantly trying to do.

Reminder that Gon's a kid. A good kid, yet one with flaws, and one put into situations that highlight said flaws.

What do you think?

[romchat]

The Time of Fever (Ep. 1-3) visual analysis: The Metamorphosis

Ho-tae: "I woke up to find myself transformed into a monstrous insect, lying in bed"...What is this? A story about a guy turning into a bug? Dong-hee: If I turned into a bug one day, would I still be Kim Dong-hee or just a bug?

From this piece of dialogue and the cinematography alone I know The Time of Fever is going to cause me a lot of pain. The only way to describe its style is palpable.

The moment our two main characters, Kim Dong-hee and Go Ho-tae, appear together, we can see the friction and unnamed longing between them.

Notice how often the first episode uses shots with three distinct compositional layers to provide depth and complexity to the relationships portrayed on screen:

In most of these shots, the composition places Dong-hee in the background with Ho-tae on another layer completely--they're distant and never quite aligned on what they want out of the relationship. Despite how these two characters were brought together by their mothers' friendship--I love how the second screenshot uses their bodies in the foreground to frame Dong-hee and Ho-tae--it's that very connection that also creates a wall between them. Although Ho-tae is excited about rekindling their friendship after moving away two years prior, Dong-hee doesn't want to betray his aunt's trust by admitting his romantic feelings for him.

And so he recedes into the background, alone and inscrutable.

The fact that Dong-hee also compares himself to Gregor from Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis hits like a sucker punch.

Like Gregor, Dong-hee lives a sort of transient and almost functionalist lifestyle. After being kicked out of his home by his abusive father, he focuses on his school work and trying to get by. He is isolated and his queer awakening only makes him feel more disoriented and misunderstood--he feels like Gregor in his insect form.

And yet we still see moments where he allows himself to yearn for something more and how Ho-tae begins to do the same.

(Side Note: I love love love the show's use of backlighting to highlight the lines of the actors' bodies. It's so simple but intimate and erotic as if the camera is acting like Dong-hee's artist-eye trying to memorize Ho-tae's muscular beauty.)

One of my favorite stylistic choices of The Time of Fever is how it uses close-ups to represent the characters' subjective POV and desire.

Like Dong-hee's sketches, these shots are the fragments of everyday life that are so small yet feel oh so significant while on the path towards self-discovery.

They're gloriously tactile, the shallow depth of field eliminating extraneous detail, allowing us to experience the heady excitement of accidentally grazing your crush's skin or looking into their eyes during a rainstorm.

I don't think I've seen desire that achingly displayed in a hot minute.

And so it makes sense that as Ho-tae begins to undergo his own metamorphosis and understand his own feelings, we see more and more visual parallelism in how their desire manifests.

(Side Note: The second screenshot above is such a gorgeous shot. That inky black negative space not only showcases Ho-tae's gaze at Dong-hee's lips but also his reaction to the realization that hits him. Great 2 for 1.)

I can't wait to see what visual storytelling the next three episodes bring.

[userautumn]

i don't know why you act so surprised that some people would be upset about how sooo many people in this fandom, you included, used to preach about how buddie was going canon, just trust the storytelling blah blah blah (sorry i always thought that was bullshit). and now you're like just kidding maybe it will be bucktommy forever instead. i'm not blaming you but really popular people in this fandom building up the idea for years that buddie was going to go canon and then just dropping that is absolutely part of what made this fandom go batshit don't play dumb about that

I'm not responsible for what other people think 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm sorry that you appear to be unable to differentiate between me articulating my opinions on my blog versus me giving you targeted leadership about what you should think or believe, but I said in my pinned for years that I'm not your leader re: Buddie and it's not my job to "convince" you one way or the other. See pinned below:

Second, I'm going to be painfully blunt:

You gave me social capital. You, and everyone else who followed me and interacted with me, have made me a "really popular" blog. I have mixed feelings about that, both positive and negative, but we're here now and it is what it is. The problem you and I are having is that you made the mistake of believing that the social capital that you gave me made me an authority on all things 9-1-1.

It didn't. I'm not and I never claimed to be.

So you want to talk about the story? Yes, let's talk about the story. Per Oliver's own words, we as a fandom did interpret the story correctly. Oliver said in May that they (the higher ups) fished around the idea of Buck being bisexual in Season 4. Given this confirmation and, absent of any other love interests, it stands to reason that Buck and Eddie were supposed to be on a romantic trajectory, culminating in the events of Season 5 which is why Season 5 ended with me (because I can only speak for myself) fully believing Season 6 would be the season they finally got together.

Season 6 comes around. Not only do Buck and Eddie not get together, they also don't share many significant scenes with each other. Kristen was the full-time showrunner at the time, so I assumed she wanted to highlight the other dynamics on the show. This was also confirmed.

Season 7 comes around. Buck and Eddie share many significant scenes but none of them leave room to interpret explicit romantic intent the way some of their Season 3 / Season 4 / Season 5 scenes (in my opinion) have. Now, this is something we will likely disagree on because what I view as "romantic intent" is going to vastly differ from what you may view as romantic intent and that's fine. The gist is that none of the scenes Buck and Eddie shared this past season seemed geared toward explicitly pulling their relationship in a romantic direction.

Just the opposite, in fact. Enter Tommy.

I mentioned at the beginning of Season 7 that I didn't think Buck and Eddie were going canon this season. I said months ago that Tim et. al. were introducing the show to a new audience and that, what would be a slowburn for us, would be sudden for them. I said months ago that if, Buck and Eddie were to go canon, I didn't see it happening before Season 9 because they would need to build that relationship up for the audience. I still maintain that and, in fact, said in my personal DMs that whatever happens in Season 8 is going to be the determining factor for a lot of what happens in the future of the show.

So you want to talk about interpreting the story, trusting the story? That is what I am doing and, right now, the story seems to be veering away from romantic!Buddie. Does that mean they won't ever veer back? No! Does that mean I think Tommy is going to be Buck's endgame? No! What it does mean is that I'm leaving the door open on both fronts as a possibility. Which shouldn't be a shocking concept and yet is.

Third and finally, let's be clear, this betrayal you're articulating isn't directed at me or anyone else in the fandom. It's directed at Tim. You spent years getting your hopes up about a ship you're now not sure will come to fruition and that scares you. I feel genuine empathy about that because that's always such a shitty feeling and it's easier for you to direct your frustration and sadness and anger at targets that are more accessible because we're right here and, in this way, your emotions still have an outlet. But I'm not to blame for this uncertainty any more than any one else. I've not conducted myself perfectly in this fandom and I've owned up to it every single time. But in the conversation of what, exactly, drove this fandom to becoming "batshit insane," it's definitely those feelings of betrayal and uncertainty (which, for the record, I don't blame anyone for having).

Hope this helps.

tone: /not mad

[cubitodragon-moved]

Yesterday Mike added more fuel to my “Tubbo is bugged” theory and it’s making me extra worried about what’s going to happen this week LOL.

This post is rambly and long, so I’m sticking things behind a cut!

Mike’s memories of the last 3+ weeks are scrambled and foggy; an interrupted El Quackity treatment? Unclear. But between saying he doesn’t remember anything and then spouting off pro-Federation propaganda (something his anarchist ass would never willingly do!) and fiercely trying to pin blame to Fit as a traitor, a comment by him during one of the questioning sessions stood out to me.

When Fit asked who told him his janitor duties were fake/a front, that he couldn’t be trusted, he said Cucurucho.

We and FitMC know that the Feds are sus of Fit, but they’ve had no actual concrete evidence that he’s been misusing his position to obtain information. And yet now Cucurucho, supposedly, is informing Mike of this so called betrayal?

If we think back to the prison cleanup in August, there was a room that had a chess board map on the wall. Only two pieces were present: a queen and a pawn. And the pawn was positioned on a clear way to indicate it’s meant to represent Fit. A warning - possibly to Fit from the ghost entity in the Prison (or someone in a neighbouring pocket dimension, if recent ruminations and theories on the server have any legs) that aided Pac and Mike, OR the Federation itself, reminding him of who has the power and who is always watching.

But they have yet to take any action. And always praised his work when completed.

Enter: Tubbo. Who arrived on the Island as part of a group rescued from a mysterious location. One with lots of strange blocks, code-eggs, frozen floors and who himself was frozen away. Shortly after, Mike and Pac ventured back to that location to explore, and when he entered the tower, the floor vanished and Mike fell. Fell down into a pool of water at the bottom of a trap lined in black concrete, and then frozen.

During Mike’s absence, Tubbo has gotten to know the “morning crew”, has gotten up in everyone’s business. I’ve outlined some highlights in another post. But more recently, every time he talks to Fit about his cleaning job, he’s picked at it again and again. Freaks out over the badge and keycard - especially over the keycard. (This feels important, for more than just Tubbo’s excuses of it being bugged, but I can’t put my finger on why, yet.). Tubbo whines when Fit won’t give him direct insight, or tell him detailed specifics on what he’s found on the job. Fit has made it clear he will not jeopardise his position to satisfy Tubbo’s need to meta-game win over the system to know everything, resulting in accusations, and Tubbo commenting privately to his own chat that this makes Fit untrustworthy in his eyes. Tubbo has been careless with some of his questions. They’ve been asked topside, sideways comments uttered with side eye. He wants to KNOW what Fit is after.

And Fit did spill to Tubbo that he’s not just there for the obvious. Yes, He IS looking for something. Yeah, he IS trying to find things out about the Codes, the Eggs, and the Federation - he wants his beautiful baby boy (made in Heaven by God Himself) back home safe and sound.

But this has not been successful, never mind the long absence of any work in the last few weeks..and we the viewers know that things he has found have been incomplete, or need more time to cook before he goes to others with evidence. Fit is meticulous, his life on 2B2T trained this into him in order to survive. You don’t last 10 years in an anarchy wasteland without being prepared. Better and safer to leave things unsaid than having to walk them back later. And there’s no point in sharing what isn’t relevant to the matter at hand.

And now Mike - who Fit calls friend, who he bonded with, who he swore to help locate Walter Bob with - said Cucurucho told him that Fit was a traitor, and wasn’t looking for what he said he was, even point blank accused him of lying yesterday about what he’s looking for. And when pressed about what he’d found so far when on janitor duty, Fit had to admit that no, he hadn’t found anything related to the Eggs or the Code.

Mike seemed to take that as proof of his lying about what he’s doing. That what he was told was right. But admitting to a lack of success doesn’t make one a liar. And Fit telling him he found nothing is also a smart play - lose lips sink ships, and better to be thought incompetent. Especially if the Federation are now trying to flush you - and perhaps your ties to your employer, outside the island - out into the open.

The Federation did not know about Ramón’s furnaces until Tubbo did. And they didn’t know Fit was in it for more than the obvious until he spoke with Tubbo. They can’t get Tubbo to take on Fit, but they can use a different pawn they have on the board instead.

I may well be completely off base. And I’ll be delighted if I am. It’s been so much fun to theorise about the lore on QSMP! But mark my words, we need to pay much more attention over the next 48 hours. And who knows what everyone will come back to in a week’s time?

[earthtooz]

i just stumbling around sae’s biodata and found out he loves spend his holidays by looking at the sea. how adorable when we go on a date by the sea, until midnight we sat by the sea. it’s peace, and we get to dancing in the open waves, joking around AAAAA i want my own sae :(

ugh this >>>>

this idea is so beautiful :((( no few words have been able to create such an evocative scenario in my imagination bc i LOVE the idea of going on a holiday to a beach place and spending the night time with a lover :((( i am going to eat my fist.

just... going on a beach holiday with sae is intimacy to a whole other level in your relationship. the beach being his safe place, and you being the person that he trusts so much that he thinks it's okay to bring you to this sanctuary of his.

there's only one person in the world who makes him feel at peace, who fills him with the confidence akin to the rush he gets whilst on the field, who disrupts his world of busy schedules, critics, and sore muscles with some semblance of normality. and it's you.

inviting you to the annual beach holiday he always goes on during breaks between seasons was a no brainer. in fact, he couldn't even picture going up to his vacation house without you. he's very protective of things that mean a lot to him, so to know that he trusts you to let you accompany him is such an honour.

little do you know, that you are also one of said things that mean a lot to him.

just imagine him taking you out on a seaside dinner to a cozy, but high-end restaurant that sae always used to go to by himself. the owner, who recognises him and welcomes him warmly each time sae visits, gives the magenta-haired a certain look before giving you two the best seats in the house.

sae orders his usual. you order something else.

the breeze that blows is slightly cold, causing goosebumps to appear on your skin. despite that, your attention remains on the view in front of you; the view being the beautiful sea and your even more beautiful boyfriend, who looks irresistible with his wind-swept hair and loose button down.

just imagine after a fulfilling dinner, you go for a walk down at the beach, the gentle glow of the sun highlighting all your features so ethereally that sae commits himself to engraining this moment into his memory. imagine the amount of shells you pick up, admiring them briefly before placing them back in the sand. imagine splashing sae gently and running away before he can even think about getting revenge, ending up in a mini-chase where his undeniable stamina inevitably leads him to catch you in his arms, stumbling a little from the momentum.

your laughter placates his 'fury'. a kiss on the corner of his mouth ends all plans of revenge he thought of.

you return back to his house in his convertible with the roof down, humming to the songs on your shared playlist.

just imagine him telling you that he's got a surprise planned. just imagine he leads you to the beach in the backyard of his home, picnic basket in hand. just imagine setting up to have a little, serene date with just the two of you, the sunset, and the crashing waves.

it's perfect, he thinks, perfectly content and satisfied when he feels your backside being pressed against his chest, wrapped in his arms as you feed him some fruits here and there. fruits that he cut up himself and sure they're a little rough and haphazardly shaped, sae's comforted by the fact that you very clearly don't mind. never ridiculing his clumsiness in all things outside soccer.

as you watch the ocean in silence, sae sinks a little more into your warmth every time, hugging you closer.

every time he comes onto these vacations, the revered soccer player is reminded of how calming life is when you just get to do nothing. but now he knows how memorable life is when you get to do nothing with the person you love.

as the stars emerge, your positions manoeuvre so that you're both lying down, your hands in his hair, the two of you bleeding so much love for each other under the inky sky. undisturbed in your little bubble of affection; as all lovers should be.

but then imagine the two of you then getting up to retreat back home, not wearing enough layers to protect yourselves from the winds for too long. before you could reach the house though, sae stops you with a gentle tug on your wrist, placing down the picnic basket as he takes out his phone.

imagine slow music playing out of his speakers as he takes your hand in his, gently pulling you towards him, ignoring the way his skin and heart burns from your touch. sae will never fully understand how you're able to fit against him as if you were perfectly moulded for one another. perhaps that's why he's content with letting you join him to his safe space, because it's only a safe space if you're there with him. that's what you've done to him since he fell in love.

this was your bewitching effect. you've seized him to the point that he is only what you want him to be, and if that was a lover who clumsily cuts fruits and takes you on beach vacations, he'll gladly fulfil that role.

so long as he continues to be able to hold you like this.

thank u for ur ask, anon :)) i hope i provided some substance to your idea bc i genuinely adored this as soon as i read ur ask! your mind >>>