#i think I'm hilarious

[sunsburns]

okay but logan taking an interest in neighbor who works in fashion?? he always sees her carrying stacks of magazines, dressed in her chic attire that is sometimes a bit too tight in all the right areas, glasses slipping off her nose, always making calls on that damn phone, and yet he always wishes she looked his way…

oh anon ur cooking here. i think this is what's pulling me out of my writing slump 🥴 (wade breaking the fourth wall, suggestive 16+)

the first time he noticed you, it wasn't even in your building complex, but rather the stairs to the subway station down the street. you were rushing up the steps while he, wade, laura and al were just about to enter. it was al who noticed you first, calling out your name and poking your side with her walking staff.

you shrieked, dropping one of the fabric rolls you had been carrying, a curse at the tip of your tongue before you realized who it was. "al," you sighed, a little relieved, when you saw her and wade, who was dressed in a "i love nyc" t-shirt.

logan, being the gentleman he was, picked up the roll you dropped, handing it back to you. it was then that you looked at him, or well, briefly glanced his way with a quick "thank you" before wade started fucking talking.

that son of a bitch.

he didn't even have the courtesy to introduce the two of you to each other.

it was obvious you were in a rush, lips in a tight smile as you nodded and tried to smile at wade telling you all about how they were about to "hit up" times square.

logan felt bad for you, but only a little bit. the longer you stayed to listen to wade's painful monologue, the more he could look at you. he was a little shameless about it, perhaps not the most gentlemanly thing he could've done, but god you were just a sight for sore eyes.

a pretty thing in a mini skirt despite the cool late september breeze that was starting to kick, white, lace and ruffled. delicate with tall brown leather boots. and a washed-out denim vest you wore as a top, two buttons undone, a little pink bow tied to the pocket. logan didn't know a lot about fashion, but he liked the way clothes looked on you.

and then you were gone, al kicking wade across the shin to shut him the hell up when she realized you were in a rush. she let you go, and you left, quickly trading numbers with laura and without saying much of a goodbye or another glance logan's way.

but he watched you go, watched the way your skirt moved with the wind too.

"yeah, look at it bounce. god, i am no better than any man. " wade hummed, leaning all his weight on logan's side. "i didn't peg you as a creep, honey badger. with the way you were undressing the reader with your eyes, i would've thought you were on a registered sex offender's list."

"shut the fuck up, wade."

logan could hear the way laura snorted, her and al continuing their way down the stairs.

wade held his hands up in surrender before logan could try anything (and by anything, he meant to cut him to pieces. wade can't deal with that right now, the blood would take ages to get off his white shirt). "i'm just saying, after living with us for a few months, i would've thought you'd met her by now."

logan raised his brow, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"i mean, she literally lives across the hall." wade turned his head to the side, pointing his thumb at logan, "he can't possibly be this stupid, right? it's gotta be for the plot to build up tension or something."

from that day on, logan's started to notice you more. not that he was looking for you, he's not that big of a creep. but he's spotted you out the window some days, running down the sidewalk, always in a rush. then he was able to hear the way you slam your door shut when you leave in the mornings or when you get back home.

every single day, you're usually out and about. unless it's a sunday, those are the days you stay in your apartment, sewing and hanging out with blind old al and sometimes even fucking laura. turns out, you were the one who got laura all of those new clothes, made them for her.

jesus christ, how out of the loop was he?

you stood out like a sore thumb, always carrying something. whether it be magazines, sketchbooks, fabric rolls, or bags, you're always struggling to open your door when you get home, keys sometimes slipping from your grasp as you're trying to juggle everything.

one day, logan had come back from a run and spotted you in the hallway. well, he had heard you from floors below and was able to pick up the lingering scent of your perfume by the time he entered the lobby. it took him a bit of courage to walk up the few flights of stairs knowing he'd bump into you.

what the fuck was this?

he was a grown-ass man for god's sake. you had him overthinking and blushing at the mere thought of being in the same space again.

when he saw you in the hallway, you were on the phone, the device tucked between your ear and your shoulder, cursing under your breath as you tried to pick up your keys. you were wearing a black dress that day, a black hat and a big maroon scarf around your neck, "no, emily, don't fucking buy it in that colour. it looks like fucking vomit. i don't care what amy told you, she's basically colour blind-"

you stopped mid-sentence when logan appeared in front of you, grabbing the keys for you. "oh- uh. thanks."

"yeah, no problem."

he noticed your nails and glasses were dark red to match the scarf. lipstick too.

you didn't mean to grow flustered in his presence, he could tell from the way you froze, as if you didn't know what was supposed to happen next. he had disrupted your daily pattern, everything in your life moving constantly and quickly but all of a sudden everything is slower. it left you breathless.

"you're logan, right?"

he furrowed his brows. he hadn't expected you to remember him, nevertheless, remember his name. "yeah."

"wade told me all about you," you said, and your eyes dropped from his face a little, then lower, a smirk not too different from a sly cat's. you were staring shamelessly, eyes following every part and curve of his body, the way his long-sleeve shirt clung to his skin with sweat. "you don't seem austrailan."

logan tried not to groan. the picture of wade's stupid face in his mind now that you've mentioned him. he hated that the two of you seemed close. "i'm canadian."

"aren't you full of surprises?" you laughed, a smooth, teasing sound, and finally pushed the keys into the nob, unlocking the door. you turned, lingering by the door as if you were about to invite him in, but then the voice from your phone was trying to get your attention and you nearly seemed disappointed. "i'll see you around, logan."

and you were gone again.

logan liked to see your different outfits every day, dawning a different style every time you walked out that door. it was like you could never settle for one style, but you managed to look so fucking good in everything and every colour you put on.

he could never get tired of it. never get tired of you.

you and your tiny bottoms that he swore were getting smaller and smaller every day, even though the city grew colder and the days shorter. you and your stupid phone calls that sometimes went on late at night. you and your clothes, every single one different from the last.

you and your sketches, the ones he had started to find loose pages on the floor of the small hallway between your apartments, pretty designs of lingerie on a model that looked a little bit too much like you for it to be a coincidence.

though you never made another attempt to talk to him, you knew he was watching you. but you never chased, your heels were too expensive for that. you were just trying to give him a reason to come on you.

to you**

to come to you.*

sorry. typo.

[pastafossa]

So I was playing one of my games the other day and got dropped into a dungeon with, I shit you not, 'Merica Homeofthebrave' and 'Freedom Isntfree'

Me, the healer: If you're both american Imma have to ask for a 500 gold copay before each healing spell I cast for you. 💰

Merica: that's not funny

Other DPS: it's a little funny

[themintman]

giggling I love them so much

[theycalledhimastar]

Thinking of Johnny, but not about how sweet or handsome he is, but all the weird shit he does. Because humanizing these guys gives me life.

☄. *.

I know for a fact that Johnny smells like Old Spice. And not the normal amount, either. Like he uses far too much, and he uses every single product they have. Shampoo, Body wash, deodorant, if they had toothpaste, he would use it. Johnny feels like the type of person to use far too many scents at once, whether it's the same or they clash, doesn't matter because it's an assault on the nose and he never seems to notice.

"Don't I smell fresh? Why ye actin' so put off?" Because you literally smell like the bodywash section of a beauty store, love. That's why.

I *also* know that this man yells, like a lot. Not even when he's upset, he's actually quiet when he is upset. But when he's excited about something, anything, he just... forgets entirely that some people have ears and aren't half bloody deaf from listening to music far too loud. Sport nights are horrible, he sounds as loud as a group of five all on his own.

He has weird ass feet too, take that as you will, his feet are just... weird. I can't describe it, you literally have a rule that he has to wear socks around the house to keep from cringing when he has the dogs out. (idk, I just feel this in my soul)

Moves around constantly, like man will not sit down for more than five minutes, not even to cuddle, he just gets handsy and uses you as a fidget toy. Not in a sexy way either, he will like squeeze the fat of your stomach or thighs like a stress ball. If you tell him to stop, he'll just kind of whine that he needs something for his hands to do.

Will wear the same tee for like, three days in a row if he thinks it isn't too dirty or smelly. Bro is a sniff test connoisseur and it'd be impressive if it wasn't a little weird. Man walks around in the same three outfits and while he looks good in anything, you... aren't really sure how to feel about his odd laundry habits. (And you really really hope that shirts are the only thing he reuses like that.)

(I dunno why I decided to make this, but I thought I was funny lol)

[ghost-headcanons]

Would the ghouls eat something they're not supposed to?

yes of course, SO heres a collection of things I think are their favorite snackies

Sodo

Rocks

any of the other ghouls

The grucifix

Phantom

Rocks

Insulation (so fluffy JUST like cotton candy)

Guitar strings (Sodo's specifically)

Cirrus

Rocks

Old keys

Paint (so smooth)

Aurora

Rocks

Gloves

Plastic spoons (crunchy and tasty)

Mountain

Rocks

Drumsticks (snacks when he practices)

Wine corks

Rain

Rocks

Mossy rocks (extra flavor)

Guitar picks

Cumulus

Rocks

Broken clay or glass pieces

Chalk

Swiss

Rocks

Mountain's drumsticks snd Mountain

the plastic off of single slice cheese

[desolationcleo]

[mortuarywriting]

We discussed my tagging methods in another server. Please understand

[coastalmangoes]

idfk

[blasphemlm]

We Rotten Few but it's out of context spoilers

[adelacreations]

Me reminding @half-oz-eddie of the Chris Evans acrylics meme

"Okay okay but consider...Billy and Steve with their own acrylics"

[pastafossa]

I loved making this mothman because like from the front he's just a cute lil mothman

But then you spin him and find a surprise booty

[one-edgy-bitch-was-taken]

[squidthechaotickid]

getting free horomone replacement therapy from Dr Eggman call that eggstrogen

[bugwolfsstuff]

Eurycholus in mutiny: how much longer must I suffer now?

*Thunder Bringer happens*

Turns out not much longer.

[motheroftheantichrist]

I started watching House while in the middle of a Saw phase last summer, so I ended up creating the weirdest AU in my head where Adam and Lawrence both end up working at Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

Amanda saved Adam, but she knew she had to take him to a hospital far off so that John wouldn't find him, so he ends up at Plainsboro. House takes his case because of course he would be fascinated by Jigsaw and wants to be able to say he worked on a Jigsaw victim. Adam can't pay the medical bills, so Cuddy lets him work off the debt and he ends up as House's personal assistant partially because he's completely useless at everything else, but mostly because Cuddy wants to fuck with House. This of course backfires because they end up being a chaotic power team destined to give her a migraine, but she doesn't know that.

Enter Lawrence, who has moved and his switches hospitals to try and get a fresh start after the trap. He has no idea that Adam is alive until he's being given a tour by Wilson and is being brought over to meet House, who is in the middle of the world's weirdest argument with his new asshole assistant with a prosthetic arm.

Amanda gets herself constantly admitted into the ER at first to be able to check on Adam because she still feels guilty and wants to make sure he's recovering, but later because she thinks Dr. Lynn Denlon is cute and doesn't know any other way to approach her. She and Adam end up becoming friends, and he convinces her that getting a job at the hospital would be a way easier way to see Lynn.

I don't know if anyone else is seeing the vision, but I just had to put it down in a post because it has been bugging me for a full year now, and I'm about to start watching more House so I know it'll be back full force. I just think it would be hilarious.

[axquiva]